#and thats why im FUCKING PISSED AS HELL WHAT THE FUCK ELSE ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE FROM ME AH

[thatdeadaquarius]

OKAY BUT I HAVE MORE IDEA FOR BLUNT READER CUZ I LOVE THAT AU SO MUCHANDMDJFKSLDKF

So you know how french people's insult are always outta pocket (from a person who's first language is french I can tell you that no other language compares in insult -apart for African languages)

Like,, some "bad" insult here would be : bitch, fuck off, whore,..

Which we can all agree is boring...

BUT THEN IN FRENCH!!!

We be getting creative with it

Eg.

"mange tes mort" wich translates to "eat your dead (relatives)"

"vas te fair enculer" means "go get yourself pegged in the ass"

(yes, we have a specific word for being fucked in the ass 💀)

AND THOSE WOULD BE THE COMMON ONES AS WELL

English could never compare ✨

BUT ANYWAYS

how would the characters react if reader was from france/ belgium/ canada(or any other french speaking country) and started cursing people out like they eould do in their home countrie !?!?

The eay their face would drop

We would make a couple of people cry

AND GOD(us haha) FORBID A KID OVER-HEAR US AND STARTS REPEATING US

Trying to un-teach them would be hell *cries*

Your thoughts?

Love yaaaa~

ABSOLUTE TOP TIER ORAH MY BELOVED!!

Nobody has any idea how much I HATE ENGLISH both for its rules/pronounciation BS/etc. But also, most importantly, THERES LIKE NO GOOD CUSS WORDS- OR LIKE CUSS PHRASES??

I HAD TO PUT THIS GIF BC THAT WAS LITERALLY ME WHEN I HAD THE REALIZATION TO LOOK UP OTHER LANGUAGE CUSS WORDS AND I WAS JUST BLOWN AWAY BY HOW GOOD THEY WERE- HOW CREATIVE- 😫😭🥲 ENGLISH WHY R U SO SHITY IN EVERY POSSIBLE LANGUAGE SITUATION-

like idk we got "eat shit and die / fuck off / go fuck yourself" ???? Like- thats pathetic 😟.

I love hearing someone just cuss smbody out their native language/non-english, it’s so badass and cool to see

Anyway u already know i love non-native english speakers from the bottom of my heart✨️

GOD I FUCKING LOVE BLUNT LANGUAGE AU ITS LIKE ONE OF TOP FAV AS U CAN PROBABLY GUESS I COULD WRITE A LITERAL FANFIC ENTIRELY OFF THIS SIMPLE PREMISE 💖💓💗💞❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

omg so i HAVE SPECIFICALLY HEARD ABT FRENCH BEING RLLY CREATIVEEE

and i researched french cusswords/phrases,,,

😭 BRO IM CRYING

“bête comme ses pieds!” IM ROLLING ON THE FLOOR-

(trans: you’re as stupid AS YOUR FEEEEEETT)

idk what’s funnier, you translating urself in real time and saying all these phrases to ppl,

OR just scaring the ever-loving shit out of every teyvat citizen within a mile radius bc oh wow- you look pissed, so yeah somebody’s about to lose all their self-esteem for the rest of their life bc ur insults are known to be extra cutting bc ur so blunt-

OH CREATOR ABOVE (…oh creator, present??)- you changed to your holy language FOR THIS???

everybody just giving the npc the most bombastic side-eye for pushing you to do this,

or even just you stubbing ur toe/ate food when it was too hot

or my favorite, getting onto ppl like Wanderer when they do smth silly lmao

STOP I HAD A FOUL THOUGHT OF GETTING ONTO Ei AND WANDERER (like ei for not keeping him/at least giving him to someone else to raise, then all the shit he did as Scaramouche lol)

AND THIS CUSSWORD COMES OUT UNDER UR BREATH OR SMTH- DOES THIS FIT BC THIS KILLS ME:

“Putain de salope…” (whore of whore, I LIED IT MEANS FUCKING BITCH LMAO😭)

JUST GETTING THE MOM AND THE SON IN ONE FULL BREATH CRYINGGGG

STOPPP wanderer using it against other ppl ever since u used it lol

oh no stop dont bring the kids into thisss 😭😭

Klee would deffo be the first one to pick up ur words and use them, omg she just uses them as catchphrases like when throwing her bombs 💀

“Mange tes mort!” JUST WITH A SMILE ON HER FACE AS SHE THROWS HER HUGE SKILL BOMB INTO A FISH POND

Venti would definitely make sure the winds “pass along phrases of the sacred All-God language!”

which just means anyone who UNDERSTANDS YOU JUST GETS GENTLY CREATIVELY CUSSED OUT BY THE WIND IM SOBBINGGG

☆

i hope u guys are having a great summer! its basically too hot to go outside where I am, not unless ur going straight into the water or smth

which hey, ill be doing that this weekend, floating down the river about an hour away from my house with friends! :]

which,,, if anyone sees this, U GOTTA HELP ME THINK OF A 1000 FOLLOWERS MILESTONE THING TO DO IDK WHAT TO DO BUT I WANNA CELEBRATE IT BC I NEVER THOUGHT THATD HAPPEN!! lmk what u think in the comments if u read this!

☆

Safe Travels 0rah,

💀♒

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi

#srry i take so long to answer smth so simple #i actually have a surprising amount of asks! #i was thinkin abt it the other day like #damn should i reopen mail box #then i was like #not really bc i still got a lot of stuff to answer! #so now ITS CRAZZYYY to see my first posts/asks and see me trying to get ppl to send asks! #anyway i gotta make a 1000 followers thing bc i love u guys #sagau #genshin sagau #genshin impact sagau #sagau x reader #genshin imagines #genshin isekai #gender neutral reader #self aware genshin #genshin impact au #genshin x reader

[burntb4bydoll]

Reunion segz with Bill maybe? Getting back together with him after a bad fight or maybe you’re his ex from his early tokio hotel days/you’re an ex member of the band 🤭🤭

I got another request very similar to this that i haven’t done yet so here you go lol!!

Bill Kaulitz x Reader

Summery: you see Bill at a party after not seeing him since you broke up

Warnings: unprotected sex, maybe a little bit of scratching, sappy reunion ngl, Bill being protective of you🤭 idfk you guy just have cute fluffy sex??

You walk into your friends house and are immediately hit with the scent of alcohol and weed. The house was dimly lit so you couldn’t really recognize anyone in the room. Sighing, you walk towards the kitchen. You weren’t necessarily in the partying mood, you really only came because your friend begged you to. Which you thought was kinda strange because usually they arent so insistent on making you come to things like this. And of course the person who invited you was no where to be found.

You took a step outside by the pool and thats when you saw him. Bill fucking Kaulitz, your ex boyfriend, standing by your friend and a couple random people. Now it makes sense why your friend wanted you to come so bad. You had just recently told them how you missed him. Bill looked away from whoever he was talking to and locked eyes with you. His eyes widened as he watched you from across the patio. God, you could just die right now. The way he’s looking st you like your the most beautiful being on the planet makes your heart beat faster.

“Hey y/n! Come over here!” Your friend called out. You felt your heart drop when you realized there was no hiding from him. He stared at you the whole time you were walking over. “Y/nnn im so glad you’re here, look did you see Bil-“ you cut them off by pulling them away from the scene.

“What the hell? Why didn’t you tell me he would be here?!” You whisper-yelled at your clearly drunk friend. They just laughed and handed you their drink.

“Y/n its fineee just have a drink and calm down!”

“Fine? F/n. I look like shit, and I am not anywhere near ready to see him without rethinking our whole break up-“

Someone slammed there body into yours, causing you to stumble into a nearby table. The person was clearly pissed off and drunk. They took a step towards you and you backed up.

“Watch it dumbass! Get the fuck out of the way next time!” Before you could say anything you saw someone come up behind the angry man and yank him away from you. No fucking way. It was Bill. You’re stomach erupted with butterflies when you saw how protective he still was over you.

“Don’t talk to her like that! You’re the one who can’t handle your fucking alcohol.” Your jaw dropped at his tone towards the other man. You hadn’t even talked to him since you guys broke up, and he still cares about you? You grabbed Bills arm and tugged on it a bit, trying to get his attention.

“Its ok, he’s just drunk he’s probably not even gonna remember this. Just calm down.” He let go of the guys shirt and gave him a shove in thr opposite direction. “Thank you. I would have been alright though Bill.” He clicks his tongue and looks down at you.

“Yeah well, I’m not gonna let anyone treat you like that. You don’t deserve it.” His voice comes out softer than you expected. You couldn’t help but smile at the sweet man in front of you. “Do you wanna go somewhere else and talk..?” He asked, shifting nervously.

“Um, yeah..yeah sure.” You tried to hide the shake in your voice as you followed him out of the backyard and up the stairs of your friends house. Once you reach your friends guest room, both of you step closer to each other. You can’t stop the words from coming out of your mouth

“Bill, I miss you..”

“Shit.. I miss you too.”

Neither of you moved. You just stood there, inches away from each other. Your eyes move from his to look at his lips until he grabbed your face and kissed you. You close your eyes and hum at the familiar feeling of his lips on yours. He pushes your body against the door, successfully keeping you in place.

“Missed you so bad Bill. Feels so lonely without you.” You mumbled against his lips. Bill softly moans at your words.

“I never stopped loving you honey. ‘Could never love someone else the way I love you. Your my soulmate.” You could hear the genuineness of his words. You whimper quietly, trying to hold back tears. “Hey, hey no. Don’t cry sweetheart, I’m here now. I can’t let you go again.” You pull him back down to kiss you again, running your hands through his soft hair. He spread your legs with his knee and lifts it up to rest against your clothed heat. (I actually hate that im sorry) You let out a shocked gasp and put your arms around his neck to support yourself.

“Bill please, ‘want you so bad. I need you.” You use the most sweet tone, hoping to convince him to not tease you. He smiles widely and laughs a little.

“Ok, ok hun, are you sure? I don’t want this to be something you regret.” His giggly tone faded into a concerned one. You lean up to kiss the corner of his lips,

“Of course I’m sure Bill. Fuck, I mean I’ve thought about this every day since we broke up.” His smile returned and he kisses your forehead.

“Lets get these and pants off of you you, yeah?” You giggled and nodded watching him pull down your pants and underwear. He slipped his hand between your legs and groaned. “Shit, you really did miss me.” He teases, knowing damn well he’s just as needy for you. He pulls his hand away from you and pulled his own pants off. He goes to take off your shirt but you stop him,

“No, no just fuck me please. I need to feel you now.” You whine to him, practically begging.

“Alright sweetie calm down, I got you.” He picks you up, making you wrap your legs around his hips. He lined his tip up with your entrance and leaves little kisses on your face as he pushes into you. You groan and dig your nails into his shoulder. He doesn’t even let you catch your breath before thrusting his hips into yours.

“God you feel so good! Needed your dick inside me so bad!” You moan, not even caring about how desperate you sound.

“I know, I missed this fucking pussy. So perfect for me, so so perfect.” Both of you were basically high off of each other’s presence, having been so close for so long then not seeing each other for months. He speeds up his thrusts and grips your hips tightly. You feel euphoric, running your hands all over his body, trying to feel every part of him.

“B-bill I’m gonna~ shit I’m so close please don’t stop!” You yelped, squeezing your eyes shut.

“Shhh. Its ok honey, cum for me, please. Please cum.” Both of you were begging for each other, but neither of you felt any shame. You both knew you were meant for each other. You arch your back and let your orgasm rush through you. Bill whimpers at the feeling and his hips stutter. He finishes inside you and you are both left panting and groaning.

“Would you please take me back y/n?”

#bill kaulitz x reader #bill kaulitz smut #bill kaulitz #tokio hotel x reader #tokio hotel smut #tokio hotel fanfic #tokio hotel #tom kaulitz x reader #georg listing x reader #gustav schafer x reader

[crushedsweets]

OK I NEED TO CLEAR MY ASKBOX

IM JUST GONNA ANSWER A TON OF THEM HERE SO I DONT CLOG UP MY FEED....

hi >.<

this is so fucking sweet i remembered how happy i was when i first got my car. i cried everyday for a week straight because i was so happy. very glad yall got to watch me get my first car. i spend over an hour in her every day commuting now. LMFAOOO (i named her lindsay btw) ((after tdi lsinday)). im so sorry im late but thank you so much this meant sm !!! <3

you asked me this in august im evil oh my god. anyway i aagree. but i am always inclined to forever think he's a midwest emo guy. twin sized mattress forever

SHE NEEDS AND DESERVES SO MANY.

im immediately inclined to say clocky or toby the second i see time and fire mentions. so ticciwork. my clocky is often a bit messy so she'd be pissed and angry and upset over the sort of war she's found herself in, especially as she sees toby just falling deeper into it. 'my god, was i oblivious?' when she finally realizes toby will always, always put Slenderman before her. frustrating. 'hell stays hungry for a world so weak' natalie is hungry for a good world, but she thinks everyone is too weak for goodness, meanwhile toby is hungry for power so he can make everyone else seem weak. etc. 'they only want you to bleed' they being slendy, operator, zalgo, etc etc etc... power, being a pawn, fighting, using humans as toys in a battlefield, etc etc.. yeah

RELEASE ME JOEY

i genuinely think nina is a really good influence on so many of the creeps. like theyre all assholes, traumatized, refuse to believe in the good in the world, etc etc. but nina is traumatized and still kickin. she comes in like ^_^ hello chat. and i think that, while its still important to feel the shitty feelings, it's really grounding to see someone whos just so .. able to be happy. idk. someone who SEEKS joy, rather than expects it to fall into their lap, and blames the world when it doesnt

this si perfect idk why i forgot about bats for him. gotta get back into this idea

AHHH OK I WILL DO MORE EVENTUALLY i just wanna say thank yewww i think theyre such a good sibling dynamic. like little brothers and big sisters and both being little assholes to eachother but would die for the other. idk. ugh. important to me.

actually this sounds really sweet..... thats funny cuz i was JUST talking to a friend about who i would have EJ go endgame with if i had to, but i couldnt settle on anyone. but liu seems like a good fit for ej. i think they'd be super sweet

ANON ME TOO AHHHH ITS LITERALLY MY FAVORITE FUCKING THING EVER. I DONT GAF ABOUT EVIL MEAN 'CANON' SLENDER I LOVE WHEN HE'S A DAD AND WORRIES AND STRESSES. IEPFB AND KASTOWAYS SLENDY>

AH THANK YOU!!! he reminds me of my little cousins HAHA theyre like 10-14 right now and theyre all cuties.... just playing roblox and being mischievous...

THIS IS ABOUT THE BLUSHING NAT DRAWING ISNT IT AHAH OMG THANK YOU!!! i think shes so cute. i know she cant handle compliments. she's either deadpanned 'thanks' or just covers her face and says 'shut up' cuz she doesnt know what to do.

I LOVE HER TOO!!!

GOOD NEWS THEN ive drawn her a handful of times since u sent this HAHA TYSM

you sent like... natobina i think... ok tbh kinda slaps

OK REAL but also when i read it i keep reading it as 'cochina' and i cannot bring myself to name the throuple that </3 HAHA

TBH AHAHA I SEE IT. TOBYS AMETHYST GARNETS NATALIE AND NINA IS STEVEN.

i want jeff to ache in his loneliness

i need to draw connie asap but also THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN FOR THE CAR CONGRATS I REALLY APPRECIATE IT IM SO HAPPY I LOVE MY CAR SO MUCH i gotta go vaccuum her..

shes such a cat to me. feline. of sorts, if you will

also good news for you anon, i have also drawn her an ungodly amount of times since youve sent this. LOL

THEYRE MY ANGELS I HAVE MORE OF THEM !!! I LOVE THEM!! AHHHGGG

literally the second that people tell me i made them start to like clocky i am overwhelmed with joy. i feel so much ache when people aren't fond of her bc shes so fucking cool and such a good character and so much fun. so sad that 2015 era creepypasta fandom destroyed her. but im here to fix it...

IM SORRY ANON I BARELY DRAW HIM HES JUST SO BOYISH I LAUGH EVERYTIME I SEE HIM FKAHAHAAH OK OKOK ILL CHANGE ILL DRAW HIM I SWEAR

I REMEMBER WHEN I FIRST STARTED DOING EMOJI ANONS BAHAHA u guys r funny

incredibly. happy. to do this to u.

nope! im not too interested in the 2021 nina just cuz i feel like i've seen that character concept many times (not just in jane), BUT if i had to do my own intepretation of her, 2021 nina would be INCREDIBLY immature in like. not a childish way, but an entitled, angry-fueled adult who cannot comprehend anyone else's thoughts/feelings. and thus, would despise OG nina (although within reason, OG nina idolizes the person who killed her family) . but even if there wasnt a good reason to dislike OG nina, she'd be mean. and OG nina would be mad and bitch. and theyd theyd fight. HAHA

I-IF...???????? ANON?

HELD TO THE FUCKING BRIM

#asks #ok thats 30 asks. #wow #ok #i was skipping things that are requests for art/headcanons just cuz i dont wanna throw a drawing/hc in this thing so HAHA

[yearningandpatheticaboutit]

SPEAK FOR YOURSELF

CHAPTER 16: WOOYOUNG

wc: 5242

warnings: mention of death, violence, drugs etc, SMUT

prev chapter

***

san

i remembered that wooyoung was afraid. he was scared of what would happen if miss A ever found out he shot mingi and deliberately antagonized a hotshot black dragon. looking back, i thought the black dragons would be anatagonized anyway because we caused shit in their side of town to get yunho back, it shouldnt be this big of a deal.

so why are so many bad things happening?

i didnt go to school today. i emailed all my teachers a forged sick note, claiming i couldnt leave the house because i went to the doctor and got diagnosed with sinisitic dizzy spells. most of my teachers are really helpful and good people, so they sent me the work they did for the day so i wouldnt miss out.

being a 'delight to have in class' aka a quiet smart kid who wasnt a pain in the ass had its perks sometimes. regardless, i used my morning to get all my money ready, of which i had just over enough to go to miss A to get her off my back.

when i get there, the place is crawling with old gangsters. miss A is screaming at people and when she sees me she's shocked, as if surprised i actually had guts to show my face. shes propped behind a round steel table in her garage, leaning back in her chair and the room goes silent as her eyes are on me.

"look who it is," she says to me, dipping her cigarette in her ashtray. "Lucky, you better have good news for me."

i bow to her and put the potato sack of money on the table. unfortunately i didnt have anything really fancy like a briefcase. im a fucking gangster on a budget.

she glares at me. "potatoes? is this some kind of joke?"

three guys restrain me out of nowhere, holding a knife under my throat. my breath gets stuck in my throat and i only manage to force out one thing. "m-money."

she doesnt tell them to let me go, which pisses me off. what the hell did i do to make her this mad? she lifts the opening of the sack and only when she sees the cash does she wave the gangsters to get off of me.

they drop me so hard i fall with my butt on the floor and i make no real move to get up in case they jump me again. instead i get to kneeling. "miss A, that's the money from all the dealings."

"i can see that. oh wow, you actually decided to be useful," miss A says, getting up and coming up to me. she puts her hand down on my hair and gently scratches it like you would a dog and i struggle to not show any fear. "if only wooyoung could be like you."

her words make me sweat. "where is wooyoung, miss A?"

i swear, if she laid a hand on him. i dont know what i would do, but no one here, including me, would be left alive.

her eyes darken. "i was actually hoping you would tell me, Lucky. your brother has become a magician. a cold case."

she doesnt know? did wooyoung actually skip town?

"i told him to bring me the hand of who killed my boys or else i would have his. he hasnt been back in days."

fuck. this is bad. im actually starting to get dizzy.

someone rolls into the garage, and my face drops in horror at the man and his disfigured, burnt face. hes in a wheelchair, an armbrace and has a bandage wrapped over everything but his mouth and eyes.

"you and your buddy got changbin and a lot of good boys killed. look what they did to seonghwa." miss A says.

that's fucking seonghwa? he looks fucked. hes never recovering. he wouldve been better off dead. now he really looks like something out of a horror movie, a real, terrifying disfigured butcher.

"that hongjong motherfucker," miss A laughs but there's nothing joyful in it. "he came into MY warehouse, burnt MY cargo, killed MY men. and all because he was looking for you two."

im struggling to breathe. i dont show it but im silently breaking down. i cant take my eyes off seonghwa. thats it? thats my future? i might as well kill myself. seonghwa killed yunho, he was one of the topdogs in the gang. im fucking nothing. if thats what that hongjoong guy could do to him then its over for me.

"he said that?" is all i can get out. miss A lifts my chin and forces me to look at her.

"you're not a boy anymore, Lucky. you'll always be a baby in my eyes, but its time for you to get serious, dont you think?" she tells me. "wooyoung is gone. so someone has to fix this. you know the rules, you make a mess, and you clean it up."

"miss A-" i start stammering. i feel like im going to cry. "we didnt do anything. we never even met that hongjoong guy. wooyoung shot mingi because he tried to kill him. it was in self defence."

"did i ask for an account of what happened?" miss A's voice drips with sarcasm. "i dont care who did what. but my boys paid the price. i wont let an attack on my turf go unpunished. you find wooyoung and you two will go and kill that fucker or i'll have you swimming in a fishtank with the rest of yunho. am i clear?"

fuck no. fuck my life is over. i just started having sex and now i have to die. this is a fucking nightmare.

"yes, ma'am," i nod my head. "when do you want this done?"

"before my boys suffer another attack. he wants you, so let him come."

"you won't find him," seonghwa says and he sounds like a lays packet trying to talk. his voice is raspy and sounds terrible. "he only shows when he wants to be found. and he wanted to be found that day. so make him come to you."

i dont want him anywhere near me! i want to scream. look at what the fuck he did to you.

i have to run away. i have to do it tonight. i have to take everything. i cant think clearly, my brain is beating so hard i can feel it in my ears.

i nod and get up and miss A distractedly starts counting the money. "so you got the money fast. i always knew you could do it, you were just lazy before, yeah?"

i had help, i want to say. yaera's stealing, her savings, wooyoung stealing all mingi's gambling winnings, fucking jongho. i couldnt have done this on my own. i would have been dead by the end of this month.

i did all that, just to stay alive. only to have another target on my head. this...it never fucking ends. its only going to get worse. i cant win. this game, its unbeatable.

i almost want to laugh out of pure irony. and yaera wanted me to ask miss A for a fixed amount. she wanted to help me pay off my dads bullshit debt. im never going to be free.

my hopes and dreams are gone.

"you still have your dad's gun right?" miss A asks me. i say yes in the smallest voice.

she smiles. "you better get to using it then, Lucky."

i leave miss A's garage with nothing left in the tank. nothing but another assignment. an assignment that will kill me.

im the sacrificial fucking lamb. why is she doing this to me? because she thinks i can do it? because she wants to get rid of me? i did what she asked of me. i got her yunho. i got her the drug money. now she wants me to kill an assassin? an assassin that already has a bodycount of seven?

and hes brutal. four of those were other gangsters, luckily none of those were ours at the time, but he guts every one of his enemies. he was connected to a murder of a prostitute. and cut out the stomachs and sliced off the hands of two guys who apparently looked at his sister.

what the FUCK am i getting into.

i get home and i dont know what to do. everything comes crashing down on me. i throw my fist into the picture frames on the wall, sending glass bursting everywhere. i look at the picture of my parents, feeling nothing but burning hatred. i hate them both. i hate my mother for leaving me behind in this shit life and i fucking hate that bullshit excuse of a sperm donor for killing me.

he killed me. he signed my death sentence.

i start tearing everything apart. im ripping my apartment to shreds because nothing matters. this is all useless, nothing, i wouldnt fucking miss this place. i have nothing but awful memories here. but my anger doesnt last. it comes crashing down so fast that im left to collapse next to my bed and i cant stop myself from crying.

its over for me. everything is.

i had nothing to begin with. nothing except...

without even thinking, my bleeding hand reaches for my phone on my desk and calls her. she picks up on the first ring.

"san?" her voice is comforting and i dont know why. i dont fucking know this girl. she doesnt know me. but shes all i have. and i dont even reall have her. "are you okay? you never call me."

i cant even speak, im heaving into the microphone and sniffling uncontrollably.

"san?" she sounds more concerned. oh shes concerned for me. thats nice. i'll remember how nice it feels when i die.

"c-can you come over, please?"

i dont even recognize my voice. its cracking and its like the pained whimper of an animal. she puts off the phone and i wrap myself around my bedsheets, curling into a pathetic ball.

shes here within 15 minutes. i dont know how she got here so fast. she was supposed to be at school. it was still one period before lunch. she must have been skipping. i wish i skipped more class now that i know im not going to live very long. studying all that shit was pointless. i should have been living like her. like i dont have a care in the world. but i cant. and i never could.

she walks into my apartment with her eyes wide, dropping her blazer off her shoulders and onto my dirty floor. "what the hell happened? are you okay?" she runs and puts herself infront of me.

"did someone break in?" she holds my wet face. i never stopped crying. not once. she looks horrified seeing me this way. i cant imagine how bad i must look. "oh my god."

she hugs me. she hugs me and i grip her so tightly till i feel my lungs tighten. the tears are pouring harder now. im staining her white blouse.

"im going to die," i choke out. "they're going to kill me."

"what?" she gasps. "who?"

i try to speak but i dont stop crying. this is fucking awful. she shushes me and lets me continue, rubbing my hair in the softest way that makes me hope i wont die, just so that i'd experience it more than once.

"im here, dont worry."

of course you are. you're always here. always invading my apartment. always working on my nerves. always in my head since i fucking met you. i wish i didnt take that for granted for as long as i did. if i knew this was all i'd have left.

i dont know what possesses me. i pull away from her, my hands drift up to the buttons of her blouse. im careful so she knows i wont hurt her the way he did. she watches my bleeding knuckles, looking at me with tender eyes. she doesnt stop me. i flick open the first button as she stands above me.

"can i?" i choke out. "this is all i have."

she starts removing her own buttons. "you dont even have to ask," she tells me.

she trusts me so much. if this is all i have left then i dont want to destroy it.

she drops her blouse, revealing her bronze, skin bare skin and black bra. the sun in my blinds isnt doing her justice. i reach behind her and unclip her bra and her boobs spill out right in my face. her skin is warm. shes so warm. she lifts my ugly brown hoodie off my body, trailing her hand down my stomach.

her touch feels like satin. i dont deserve it. she doesnt deserve this.

"i-i dont want to use you as a coping mechanism," i tell her but im talking to a wall. i dont want to but i am. im going to die and all i want to do is fuck her one last time. there isnt enough time in the world.

she kisses me sorely, with way too much emotion for what we really are. two broken, fragile people. we have no business with each other, but she kisses me like i mean something.

"for you, san, i'd let you use me however you want," she whispers against my lips. "as long as its you."

i feel my heart pain. i want to cry again but my dick is hard and i can only focus on two things at once. so i deal with my boner first.

i slide down her thin, pink underwear from under her skirt and it drops to her ankles. she steps out of it and pulls my sweatpants out from under me, immediately sliding herself onto my dick.

she moans softly into my ear and it feels like heaven. shes like heaven wrapped in one complicated woman. she could destroy me. she could ask to end me and i would let her.

i'd rather it be you than anyone else.

i grip her softly and my hands are stinging but i dont care. i feel weak. but somehow with her here, it doesnt hurt as much. shes riding me slowly, its crazy how without any foreplay shes already drenched down there. i guess she does like me a little.

she peppers kisses all over my neck as i hold her up, losing my mind as she slowly sinks and rises onto me. i never fucking liked our stupid school uniform but seeing it on her like this, with her on me, just makes me lose my mind. jongho doesnt fucking know what he missed out on.

"you know i care about you right?" she whispers into my ear. "its about more than just the money. you know that right?"

my lips her are on her chest and i kiss her there slowly. "i know," i mutter. actually i didnt know that. i dont know what the fuck she sees in a dickhead like me.

"good," she says, then pushes me down to my back. she adjusts herself to straddle me properly but i cant watch her struggle to please me. i get back up and flip her under me, pushing her back down gently when she tries to protest.

"but-"

"i want you to feel the way you make me feel," i say. and i never thought i'd ever utter words like that. fuck, no wonder everyone thought i was gay.

i drag my lips down her perfect, sculpted torso and plant them onto her shivering, wet hole. she whimpers weakly as i stick my tongue inside, slowly impaling her with it. i dont care that im taking my time honestly. im going to die, so i might as well make this as long as it can.

i drink up her bitter juices, lapping my tongue across her slit. the moans she lets out are otherworldly, definetely worthy of a noise complaint. i dont mind it. i feel useful for once in my life. i slowly inch a finger into her warm hole, sucking on her pleasure button while im at it. i'd call it her clit, but thats too rough for me.

"san please," she begs. "i want you so bad, just fuck me already."

i stop at her request, getting up and over her. i line myself at her entrance, pushing in slowly. she throws her arms around my neck and the eye contact we have as i just lay there inside her is enough to make me drop it all. i'd drop it all and leave with her, wherever she wanted to go.

her hole feels like home. my dick fits perfectly inside her. its warm and hugs me and i cant get enough of it. i push in and out slowly, taking in her eyes. they havent left mine. her lips are parted in bliss, and i decide to kiss them. she moans into my mouth, and it feels like a fucking spell being casted on me. i accelerate the pace, and the lewd sounds of her squelching and our breaths syncing up are all that can be heard.

it turns around so fast. im fucking into her at a pace thats desperate. like if i fuck her any slower, its going to get taken away from me. everything will. her legs are wrapped around my waist and she clenches on me, as if she doesnt want me to ever leave. i dig my fingers into her skin, holding onto dear life as i feel myself getting closer.

"wait," she breathes. "i wanna do it standing up."

i pause mid stroke. "how?"

"against the wall. lift me."

i go along with it. we get up and she lays with her back against the wall, lifting her leg so i can put it in. i pick her up and she slides onto me perfectly, and this new angle makes my brain go foggy. its so much deeper and tighter, i can feel her soak onto me.

i start ramming into her against the wall and her hair is hanging down her face, making her look like a sexier version of the grudge. she looks utterly lost in it all, and its so enjoyable to watch. i feel like im doing something right seeing her looked so absolutely fucked out.

my legs grow weaker as i hit her walls, feeling myself getting closer to the edge. shes demanding, with her legs wrapped around me she wont stop till ive been emptied.

"you're so fucking perfect," she whisper-whines, and its enough for me to blow. i completely blow inside her and she creams on me at the same time, our juices mixed together like some fucked up smoothie.

i drop her and she doesnt remove her arms from my neck. instead she pulls my body towards her, till we're chest to chest, completely naked amd kisses me harder than she ever has before.

this isnt even because we're fucking. she just wants to do it. and honestly, i needed it so badly.

when she pulls away im left yearning for more. it makes me sick. "thank you," i tell her. "i needed this."

"i know," she says softly. "tell me everything."

***

after i tell yaera everything, we're sitting on the bed beside each other, a painful, weighing silence between us.

"what are you going to do?" she asks, sounding hopeless.

"i have to kill the guy. or miss A's going to kill me."

"the police?" she says but knows immediately it wont work.

"i'd die before miss A sees trial," i laugh emptily. "and i'd go to jail for sure. she has enough on me to make sure i'm wanted."

she's frowning. she's realizing money cant buy my freedom. or my life.

"after you kill that gangster...nothing will be the same," she says. "you'd have blood on your own hands."

i shrug and stare out of my window. "it ends here, yaera. for both of us."

she stands up abruptly and looks like she wants to break into sobs. "no you can't disappear after this. i still need you."

i smile weakly. hearing that makes me feel better. someone will miss me.

"when i'm gone, you can have my apartment. i have some money left over here, maybe you'll be able to get away for good. you'll never deal with that freak again."

she's not happy with my answer. "no, san. i dont want you to go. i dont want you to disappear. cant we catch a one way flight? can't we run? i'll run with you. i promise."

she actually wants to stay with me. when i dont answer yaera bends down infront of me, holding my hands. i cant believe how quickly things turned around. i have so much to lose.

"when you finish your business, we're getting the fuck out of here, okay? promise me. i'll get the tickets, i'll get everything ready. but promise me you'll come back to me."

i cant promise that i'll be alive. i want to, but i dont want to lie to her.

"i cant promise i'll make it back, yaera," i mutter. a tear rolls down her face. "and even if we run away, is this really sustaintable?"

"is what?"

"us?"

she scoffs. "i dont think now is the time to think of what we are. i dont care about defining this relationship, thats not important. all i know is, you're all i have."

"you're all i have too." i whisper.

"thats enough for me. so promise?"

"okay, i promise."

"good, now lets clean up here and pick a place on the map."

yaera and i spend the rest of the afternoon cleaning up my shattered apartment. i take my parents pictures and throw it in the spare room where i dont have to see it. when we're done, yaera makes herself at home and lays down in my bed watching youtube. i get dressed and she switches off her phone when she notices.

"where are you going?"

"remember those gangsters you met the night you followed me? im paying them a visit." i tell her.

"your dad's old gang...are you going to ask them to help you?"

"yeah. i wanna see if they've heard from wooyoung. get help where i can."

"okay. is it cool if i stay over?" she asks. "i dont feel like going home."

she doesnt even have to ask anymore. i say my goodbyes and make my way downtown.

getting into mao's place has always been shady, im surprised there are guys outside the door. they see me and are shocked to see me, letting me in and muttering shit in cantonese under their breaths.

i find mao sitting around a table and gambling and by god, i find wooyoung too.

he freezes when i see him and i have half the mind to beat the shit out of him. this is where hes been the whole fucking time?!

"sannie!" mao yelps with his cigarette dangling off his lips. "look we're finally good enough for him again! i heard you've been visiting everyone BUT me!"

i run across the room and catch wooyoung before he can run. then i pick him up and toss him into the closest wall. "you DICKHEAD!" i scream.

mao's men jump up from their seats and get between us. "woah woah woah!" mao shouts. "no fucking fighting under my roof! take that shit to the alley!"

"what the fuck man?!" wooyoung huffs. "arent you glad im alive?"

"you couldnt pick up a phone? you couldnt call me to let me know?" i snap. "i thought you fucking skipped town!"

"i had to toss my phone!" wooyoung stresses. "miss A is looking for me."

"i KNOW! I KNOW SHES LOOKING FOR YOU BECAUSE ITS BECOME MY PROBLEM, WOO!"

i start laughing hysterically. "we're fucked. we're both fucked because of you and i hope you know that."

wooyoung stands up, dusting himself off. he has a remorseful look on his face. fucking say something coward.

"i tried to keep you out of it," he admits shamefully. "i was gonna get it done."

"you were gonna kill hongjoong by yourself?" i scoff. "you'd be done for before you even do anything!"

"mao gave me a gun," woo says. i look to mao and he shrugs.

"you know about this?" i ask him.

"as long as he doesnt involve me, i dont mind helping out," mao says. "i dont want black dragons on this side of the world, but bae su ji is losing her touch."

"who the fuck is bae suji?" both woo and i ask angrily.

"Miss A."

"you know Miss A's government name?" woo questions. mao shrugs.

"we used to date in high school."

we're getting off track. im still fucking angry, i turn to wooyoung.

"so? let me hear this fucking plan of yours."

"i dont want you involved san. we cant both be dead."

it feels like my veins are going to pop. "she's going to KILL ME if i dont fucking do something about that hongjoogn fucker. he put seonghwa in a wheelchair and killed changbin. shes going to kill me if i dont get involved, woo, so just tell me the fucking plan."

"hongjoong's sister is getting married soon," mao interjects. "woo's gonna wipe him out there."

"and then im going to skip town for real," woo says with a dark look. "mao's arranged for me to go to hong kong. im gonna work for him there."

"you know who was also supposed to go to hongkong?" i laugh darkly. "yunho."

the room falls into uncomfortable silence aside from the sound of dominoes hitting the table.

"i'll be there, woo." i tell him. "im leaving town too."

"where are you going?" both mao and woo asks.

"im leaving with yaera," i answer woo only. mao is confused and wooyoung tells him its my girlfriend.

"you left Flor?" mao is shocked. i sigh remembering that yaera gave mao a fake name when she followed me. i dont dignify him with an answer.

"alright man," woo sounds defeated. "now you know. i didnt wanna keep in touch because i didnt want to make things worse."

"they're already bad, woo. you not telling me changed nothing."

ive calmed down significantly. i feel defeated but at least i know this bastard is alive.

"what about mingi?" i question. "he started this shit in the first place."

"im taking them both out," wooyoung says. "mingi's the groom. hongjoong's walking his sister down the aisle."

how convenient. two birds with one stone. now, how were we going to get out of it alive?

"WE, wooyoung," i correct him. "WE'RE taking them both out."

***

yaera

after i helped san clean up his rampage, i saw something interesting in his spare room.

i stare at the daewoo k5 in my hands, i never realized san was the kind to keep guns. with the way he lives, i guess i shouldnt be surprised. he needs it more than anything.

something dangerous popped into my mind when looking at it. the first thing i thought of was wiping santo off this earth.

wouldnt i be doing a good deed? taking that rapist, pedophile and fucking freak off this planet?

he called me again. from a different number. i never pick up unknown IDs because of him. but i picked up this time, and all i heard was him breathing harshly.

"i dont like being ignored, yaera. it hurts my heart. you dont want to know how i act when im hurt."

i wonder if yasmine found out, and thats how she ended up where she did.

i know he wasnt anywhere near her when she died, but the thought that he touched her the way he touched me...the fact that she enjoyed it. it was driving me insane. i feel myself losing it with every single thought that flashes by me.

i just want to leave. i want san to finish up his business, come out alive and free me from this place.

we decided on soroa, cuba. europe wouldnt be a good place for us to start over in. latin america would be fresh. its going to be better.

i tried to keep busy but my stomach ached for san. with every apartment i looked at, every beach and every municipality i imagined living in, i had a thought of san never seeing it. i feel so fucking helpless.

i cant fix any of this. i never could but ive never felt this cornered before now. if anything happens to him, i know im going to end up in a ward. i cant leave this place without him when he helped me get to this point.

my parents have left me so many missed calls. so have irina and claire. none from anya? thats weird. she always leaves me the most calls.

i decide to call irina back. i havent heard from them aside from drug related business so it'd be nice if she could take my mind off the fuckery thats been taking place. they always have the most interesting things to tell me. vacationing in saint tropez, partying in monaco, i'd love them to tell me about cuba.

irina picks up first ring. "hey girl–"

"you fucking bitch," she snares at me. i jolt up from the bed at her tone.

"hello?" i repeat in confusion.

"anya is DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU!"

fire creeps up on my skin. it feels like all my hairs raising.

"w-what?"

"she fucking mixed whatever pill you gave her and she threw up all over herself. we fucking rushed her to hospital and she didnt make it!"

this has to be why my parents called me. oh my god. oh my god anya's dead.

"i dont know what you mean," is the first thing i say. probably not the best thing but its the first thing i could get out. there has to be people around her right now. i cant risk it.

"now you dont know what im talking about?" irina snaps. "you fucking killed her."

"anya has a history of drug abuse, irina. why are you blaming me for this? im sorry for what happened but dont call me with this bullshit ever again."

i quickly put off the phone and start hyperventilating. fuck this is a mess, my parents probably found out. they probably know. if i go home im screwed. i cant go home, they'll keep me there.

how do i stay out of this. i know i cant go to jail, none of them have any proof that i dealt them drugs. not a single shred of evidence. there are the cellphone records, but those calls cant get traced back to me. the phone's too old. i need to stay away from them.

i have to fix this, somehow. i cant unload it on san he has enough on his plate. but it sounds like ive made an enemy out of the closest thing i have to friends. i dont know what to do.

i look at the gun on my lap. i have to finish the story.

***

next chapter

tagslist: @sansonlygf @brown88 @yujispinkhair @mountiiny

#ateez angst #ateez imagines #choi san angst #ateez fanfic #ateez fic #ateez crime au #ateez gang au #ateez smut #choi jongho #choi san #park seonghwa #song mingi #choi san fluff #choi san smut #ateez x reader #ateez ot8

[marunalu]

You say you're a non-shipper but then why are you out there getting all pissy at people for LITERALLY ONLY SHIPPING BkDk and getting overly preotective of Izuocha??

Don't try take this as me hating on Izuocha/Ochako because OhMyGoD i MuSt Be A bKdK sHiPpEr AnD oChAkO iS gEtTiNg In ThE wAy Of My sHip

Just so you know I don't ship Bkdk really don't and yes I admit I love Izuocha

And I'm not doing this just to be rude/mean and try to be a bitchy ass piss baby I seriously wanna know

You call Bkdks hypocrites but here you are being so obnoxious and toxic over a ship???

Shipping is literally only saying hey wonder how these two would be in a relationship without everyone jumping you and telling you that ThIs ShIp WiLl NeVeR bE cAnOn BeCaUsE so and so

Everyone gets it, no way a shonen manga MC will be explicitly stated as Gay and I also get that you really hate bakugou, to each their own you have your reasons which are just as valid as everyone else's but why be so rude and toxic for no reason to people literally only enjoying their ship??

Just because Im a non-shipper I cant talk about my opinion about a ship I hate and its toxic fanbase on MY blog??? 🤨 If I get asks about that topic of course I answer them if Im in the mood or have time! And where am I rude or toxic? Im talking about MY opinion and MY thoughts on MY blog! If a bkdk shipper cant handle my critism of bakugou or their ship thats THEIR problem and not mine! I dont go to bakugou fans or bkdk shippers blogs and posts and attack them, I try to stay away from them as good as I can, unlike all the bkdk shippers who attacked, insultet and told me to kill myself! I never have done something like that and never would! So WHERE am I toxic?? Because I have an opinion I talk about on social media?? Then what are hardcore bkdk shippers of the caliber like dekakchan to you, who openly attack anti bkdk shippers and even other bkdk shippers if their opinion is not the same as theirs on a daily basis, say terrible sexist things about ochako, downplay every other relationship izuku has with his other friends and afterwards play victim when other people call them out for their bullshit?! Why arent you calling out that kind of people instead?!

If I had a problem with the normal part of the bkdk fanbase who just ship for the lolz I wouldnt allow bkdk shippers to follow me and would tell all of them to fuck off! All the bkdk shippers that follow me and I interact with accept that I hate bakugou and bkdk and never attacked me for it nor did I ever attack them! In my posts Im talking about the toxic part of the bkdk shipper fanbase who attack others because their opinion differs from them, because this people are the main reason why bkdk shippers have such a horrible reputation in the rest of the mha fanbase! Thats my right! I can talk and rant on my blog about whatever the hell I want and if people dont like that they can block me for all I care! Or at least blog the anti bkdk and anti bakugou tag, so they dont have to see this kind of posts. If they dont do that thats not my problem, simple as that!

And about the izuocha ship. While I dont ship it, I still think its a cute and wholesome ship like I think iidadeku or tododeku are too and Im supportive of all of them, but I dont look for fanfictions or fanarts of that ships, because Im not interested in shipping. Being a non-shipper doesnt mean, you cant defend a ship or support it though or that you cant like a ship, it just means its not where your main focus is on! Im supportive of izuocha, because ochako gets so much hate from bkdk shippers, simply because they see her as a treat to their ship and because she exists!

And about you saying that everyone knows and accepts that izuku and bakugou arent gay: man you never have read the bkdk posts on twitter, havent you?! 🤣

#bnha #anti bakugou #anti katsuki bakugou #anti bkdk #anti bakudeku #izuocha

[hexitca]

Rant about Puritan fandom culture!

Well I typed it on twitter but then I had more to say so tumblr it is!

Under read more

WARNING: Long as fuck

Here's some pics

I know I basically said the author of Heartstopper "brought it on themselves" but yea they kinda did.

You can disagree with BL/Yaoi you can hate the shipping discourse or shipping in fandom in general but you cant frame it in a "i hate [that] bc it's sinful/fetishistic and I'M ABOVE THAT BC I'M WHOLESOME AND BETTER THAN THOSE DISGUSTING SHIPPERS"

bc that's gonna bite you in the ass...as it is doing now. The fucking image of their character's google history is so tame and normal, esp in LGBTQ+ spaces! Yet they are being called a pedo? Crazy. In the end, you only hurt yourself!

I never bothered with HS bc i just wasnt interested in it but thats just my preference. It's sad to see ppl, esp young ppl, turn on a series of LGBTQ+ representation just bc of the author's past (or current? idk) stance on the BL/Yaoi or MLM or whatever genre just bc their stance wavered a bit in a simple comic image. Something that is so fucking normal also! but they will grow up and realized how limiting it is to restrict themselves just to appear pure within a group.

Yet the artists/writers/creators are traumatized by the witchhunt. I know I said the author brought it on themselves for supporting anti but damn I don't want them being accused of being a pedo! Or ANYTHING! NO ONE DESERVES THAT. I dont know anything about the author other than surface knowledge but at the end of the day, all this online shit, doesnt matter. It doesnt! Me saying that is ironic bc im typing this post up right now!

but it's something we care about! I care about fandom spaces, I care that creators are getting attack for something as mild as this even if they invited these ppl into their circle. We're human and we change our views a million times a fucking day. I could agree with one thing and disagree with it another. That's why anti discourse pisses me the hell off! It's just a bunch of bullies looking to make themselves feel better by shaming others! I don't respect that type of behavior. And I hate that they just run around saying shit like "kys" over a two characters fucking?!? It amazes me beyond words.

Fandom has never been without its discourse. But the puritan bullshit is not even fandom discourse, it's just straight up bullying and harassment. It doesnt take much to tailor your fandom spaces to your preferences, i should know ive been in fandom spaces since I was fucking 13 years old. I didn't explore nsfw/porn/anything until I wanted to when I was 18. That is MY personal experience. I never put that on anyone else BUT MYSELF. If I saw nsfw and didnt want to see it I blocked the person. Not make a fucking witch hunt out of it. You are in charge of keeping YOURSELF in check not some person who shared nsfw art/fanfic. How fucking hard is it to turn the "don't show me nsfw" toggle on??? Bc it's not about that. Y'all just wanna be mad and be above someone so why not ppl minding their own business.

And guess what? There ARE ppl who are bad and support nsfw art/writing. They fucking suck. They are outliers and deserve to be called out when they get exposed. But many times, ppl always go "see i told you all the ppl in THAT fandom were pedos/freaks/etc" hmmm sounds like when conservatives go "see...that queer person turned out to be bad, SO all queer ppl are bad" DO YOU GET IT?? It never works out with that line of thinking. You are harming innocent ppl minding their own business. You are harming yourselves when you grow the fuck up and realize that "OH actually...I am curious about sex" and have ppl who you thought were your friends eat your face. PLS wake the fuck up.

If you're an anti:

I hope you recover from that

go fuck yourself

if you're offended by me saying "go fuck yourself", pls take that as a sign to log off the internet and go touch grass. As someone who has done that many of times, it's very refreshing.

#fandom #fandom culture #fandom discourse #purity culture #i might go touch some grass for the rest of the week/weekend holy shit #this is why i try not to be on twitter a lot bc tumblr im at least in my own spaces with minor breaches of stupidity #twitter it just throws it in on my tl and i get fucking triggered and angry #ill be taking a long break from twitter holy shit

[fefairys]

now ive got quadrants on the brain specifically kismesissitude because i see the general attitude towards "do you use hs quadrants to label ur irl relationships?" as "i have a moirail/understand having a moirail but the black quadrants just dont work for humans, theyre for a fictional species" or "i have a kismesis but its like a joke" and im like lol. lmao even.

i guess it is my troll kinnie ass but the most common crush i get on people is a pitch one lmao.. my relationship with my fiance started as a kismesissitude and slowly morphed into kismoirailsprits over time, but like, we were a healthy kismesissitude and we still are partly kismesisses! idk if yall saw that gay little interaction we just had (scroll a few posts down on my blog lmao) but like we are still antagonistic towards each other a lot and our relationship started with us hating each other and was built around how much we annoyed each other.

its a very specific feeling and emotion to me! because i have dated people and NOT felt that way, too, so its not like "oh but everyones playfully antagonistic to their partners sometimes!" no no no this is so different. because when i was with my last girlfriend, yeah we would tease each other sometimes, but it wasn't the same feeling as Pitch Romance to me. it's a whole different feeling.

i very often get crushes on people where they annoy the hell out of me. i find them attractive, and even charming at times, but most of the time when they talk im like oh my god you are the most annoying person in the world. i want to make out with you about it. pitch feelings are about being ANGRY that you like you someone so much, to me. like "why the fuck do i like you so much when you're always getting on my nerves. why do i want to be around you all the time even though everything you say pisses me off. why do i want to kiss you." lmao. thats my experience at least! and also wanting to annoy them and rile them up in return. thats how i felt about juice at the start of our relationship, and i still have those feelings towards it now, though i also have other feelings like just plain and simple genuine Love and Affection without the annoyance as well. it fluctuates. depends on if we are annoying each other at the moment or not haha

i've told ppl this and they've been like "oh so its like tsundere" and im just like. I GUESS????? but to me it is so different like i feel like tsundere is when you like someone but cant admit it so you act like you hate them (maybe you even believe that you hate them, but truly, you like them) whereas kismesissitude is truly hating someone, finding them annoying and infuriating, but in an exhilarating way. i hate you and you hate me and its fun to annoy each other and watch each other get all mad.

the quadrant i'd personally never feel the need to be part of is the ashen one because its main purpose is to prevent cheating on ur kismesis and its like. well im polyamorous so. lol. i could see it being used in human relationships if its like, someone who functions as your moirail and helps mediate in arguments you have with other people where you/the other person are getting too angry with each other? i guess?

and also like. treating a moiraillegience as monogamous and something you can "cheat on" someone else with is definitely not the way to go imo. i mean im in a pale throuple rn. we call each other moirails because we trust each other more than anyone with talking about our feelings and stuff! but back in the day i remember people literally being like "he said *paps you* to my moirail what the fuck thats MY moirai only *i* can pap them!l" and its like alright calm down...

#personal #wow i sure can talk #this probably has so many typos i cant reread it rn i have to go pick up juice from his gay job

[iersei]

hi im mutuals with both 1 billion dndads blogs and 1 billion tma/wtnv/w359/taz/manyotherpodcasts blogs and like i just have to say. im fairly sure you are genuinely skewing the vote here. i felt so odd voting for glenn instead of lup, instead of isabel lovelace, instead of KRAVITZ. and i voted for him and looked deep inside myself and was like "why did i do this? because its funny?" and realized thats exactly why. this is all fucking hilarious. i witness your blog daily and it has the same desperation as an irl election if not far more so. theres not anything else on your blog and if there is its because you drew it for someone who voted. i have a mutual who was upset about annabelle cane not winning and was like honestly, if you were as passionate as iersei, maybe you would've had a chance. you're picking glenn close up like one of those screaming toy chickens and successfully smacking aside every character ive seen this website lose their minds over every couple of weeks perpetually since 2016 at the latest. glenn fucking close of all people. id say theres sexier dndads characters but honestly im not sure if there is anymore. i think its all glenn. i wonder how long it will take you to go back to being a normal, non-glenn-sexy-tournament themed blog. i hope you carry this sheer unfiltered passion into everything you do. because its the funniest fucking thing ive ever seen. please keep going

AS A CLOWN AT HEART, MY FIRST COMMITMENT IS ALWAYS AND FOREVER TO. THE. BIT.

anyone who knows me will tell you that they are completely unsurprised by how thoroughly i have dedicated myself to this. i wear my heart on my sleeve. i am loud. i am passionate. and when i commit, i FUCKING COMMIT.

and i ask of you. what is the greatest measure of victory. nay, of sex appeal in general on tumblr dot com. than some freaks doing some unhinged nonsense and pissing off a looot of people that just don't Get It in the process?

the reason why cecilsweep was so entertaining to watch was because. he swept against the victors of the original tournament on twitter when the rematch rounds came around to tumblr. it's because it was unexpected, but people were adamant and they were passionate.

and here? in this sphere? where nightvale is such a fucking behemoth of a powerhouse that their popularity necessitated another bracket? it doesn't carry the same energy.

you know what does?

one hot and sexy mess of a man submitted by one person with zero propaganda clawing his way up to the top. knocking down a lot of really popular characters in the process with close (heh) victories and hard fought battles. all because a handful of really desperate freaks really really want him carnally.

that's what it's all about baby. and that's why, in my heart, we've already won.

...i'm gonna keep fighting like hell though because i refuse to give up on anything and it is WAY TOO EARLY to give up now. SO EVERYONE READING THIS SHOULD GO VOTE GLENN CLOSE [HERE].

peace and love and sexualizing that old man on the planet earth <3 i refuse to ever change <3

#sei says an answer #dysaniadisorder #THE TOY CHICKEN ANALOGY IS THE FUNNIEST FUCKING THING IN THE WORLD TO ME BTW #LIKE YEAH. YEAH I *DID* DO THAT. #The Advanced Voter Fraud Experience #hot glenn autumn #fave

[the1975attheirverybest]

oooooh fav lyrics??? fuck thats hard. i will not explain why because i want to seem somewhat cool still and not like a total fucking nerd (despite having incredibly in depth reasonings)

The 1975 - ok this is Album has some interesting lyrics because its before he had it all figured out and i fucking love it for that, theres so many fucking contenders for fav lyrics (including all of anobrain, antichrist or The city) the entire abum is just so mmmmm. but if i had to pick an absolute fav id say

"I put your mother through hell, don't you mind I hate your brother as well, don't you mind, don't you mind Oh I was thinking bout killing myself, don't you mind I love you, don't you mind, don't you mind"

and i know i know its a verse but it isnt complete otherwise. Plus i have it tattooed on me so i feel like i had to.

I Like it when you sleep for you are so beautiful yet so unaware of it - once again mmm chefs kiss of an album no skips (theyve never made a bad album) and lyricaly very beautiful, i could absolutely nerd out about all of their catalogue tbh. but for this i am excluding Nana and She lays down because theyre...just perfect, and also i sob.

so it would have to be

"And if I believe you Will that make it stop? If I told you I need you Is that what you want?"

or

"Before you go (please don't go), turn the big light off"

its really easy and tempting to put ballad on here but i think thats because his performance style for it is so visceral and while lyrically its beautiful still i cant imagine myself enjoying them if they were sung by someone else because they need the guts behind it ya know.

A brief enquiry into online relationships - delicious as always matthew thank you this day for our daily bread.

so its either

"I can show you the photographs of you getting on with life I've had dreams where there's blood on you" thank you for referencing the bible matthew very cool.

or

"You build it to a high to say goodbye Because you're not the same as them" because it is like a fucking gut punch

notes on a conditional form - seasoned to perfection. difficult because Guys is on this album and its so sweet but i dont think its my fav lyrically, for no particular reason. same for roadkill although "i pissed myself on a texan intersection" always has a place in my heart.

"I'm in love, but I'm feeling low For I am just a footprint in the snow" did you need to fucking wreck me or is that just for funsies huh?

or

"Don't wanna bore you with my frail state of mind "Oh, winner, winner, that's your biggest lie I'm sure that you're fine" I haven't told a lie in quite some time (Quite some time) "You know we'll leave if you keep lying Don't lie behind your (Frail state of mind)"

Being funny in a foreign language - i take 0 slander for this album because its just as brilliant as the others. so first all of part of the band is fucking art and so im excluding it because it should be all of our favs.

"I've been suicidal, you've been gone for weeks If I'm undecided, will you decide for me?W

and

"'Cause, baby, I'll do anything that you wanna I'll try anything that you wanna I'll find myself in the moonlight 'Cause, baby, I want everything that you wanna And I've tried to just be me, like, a thousand times But you're on my mind"

sorry its so long and i couldnt pick just 1 (not a libra but still indecisive) in order to remain seeming somewhat cool and not a total nerd ive refrained from explaining each choice but yeah.

Welllllll……did you HAVE to bring up “Me” AND “Frail State of Mind”?!? Are you trying to make me cry? Cuz it’s almost working.

It’s weird I’ve always kinda thought of Oh Caroline as some of his simpler writing. Not in a bad way. Like “Me” is simple as well. Simplicity has its time and its place and can be wonderful. And it IS wonderful in Oh Caroline. But I’m a layers girlie, so maybe I haven’t been giving this one much attention *runs to listen to it*

[maddsmallow]

hi im gonna complain about people seeing hank and connor as father and son under the break so if you see them like that maybe dont read. like you do you but if this is gonna upset you then. dont fuckin read it lmao

if tumblr puts this in the fucking tags even tho i didnt tag it 1) im sorry, and 2) im gonna be fucking pissed im just trying to vent on my own got dang blog

cropped out the person who made these tags because i dont even know them and also im not a fucking asshole thats gonna put someone on blast like that but. this is the EXACT problem i have with hank and connor as father/son. i dont even mind connor seeing hank as a mentor or something like that (even tho i personally disagree with using the term "father figure"), but it's the "connor is like a new chance for hank to be a dad" that fucking gets me. do you not see all the different CANON reasons why that works completely against hank's character, and takes away connor's say in the whole situation?? hank IS a dad. he's a dad to a dead boy. basically his whole fuckin personality is him mourning over the loss of cole because he loves him SO much. you think he's gonna cling to the first mentee he's had since cole's death and immediately have him replace his dead fucking child? that's like, making hank give into some kind of fucked up delusion. that's mentol illness luv. imagine misunderstanding a character THAT badly.

and that isnt even getting into the whole "you're taking away all of connor's agency as a fully grown adult man" thing. he's not a child. he's an android that was activated only a few months ago, sure, but he was literally created to be like 27-33 or something. he deals with guns. he looks at pole dancers at the eden club. he works with murder scenes. you literally ARE taking away all of his agency as an adult man by seeing him as some little puppyboy that needs a dad to take care of him.

i mean of course you can take these characters and do whatever you want with them outside of canon, they're basically just barbie dolls lmao. but to claim that it's CANON that hank would think of connor as his own literal son, that he thinks that before the game's even over?? absolutely fucking not. those jokes of hank being like "who's my son?" and connor answering "me:)" and hank's relationship bar goes up, it's cute i guess but if that happened in the game? if that was a real choice in the game? hank would've shot connor without a second fucking thought. hell no hank would've thought connor was anything CLOSE to what cole was to him. hank straight up would've murdered the real connor and not even been upset about it when sixty told him so. david cage can eat my entire ass for agreeing that they're father and son, he just said that because he's a homophobic piece of shit, and that's literally the ONLY thing ever to point at them having that sort of relationship.

and i'm not gonna sit here and be like "but anyways here's all the reasons hank and connor are TOTALLY in love" because i dont actually think that's canon either. i'm just playing with them like barbie dolls lmao. my problem is people taking subtext that doesnt fucking exist of them being "like father and son" and claiming it's the be all end all of their whole relationship. their view of them as father and son is the ONLY way to see them. which is just not fucking true. there's NOTHING in canon to support them as being anything but close friends or enemies. that's it. and then they come onto these posts about hankcon, which obviously have NOTHING to do with them since they dont ship it, and tell the OP who ships them "fuck you." like?? you could have just scrolled. you could have just kept fucking scrolling. you fool. you moron. what happened to ship and let ship. just fucking move on, jesus christ. stop taking the time and effort out of your day to go out of your way to 1) make yourself upset by seeing this content and not just blacklisting it and blocking the posters, and 2) making someone else upset that you took the time to be a shithead on something that obviously wasn't even meant for you but made THEM happy. just stop !!! log off!! touch grass!! and this goes for hankcon shippers who do the same!! what the fuck is wrong with you!! we're all just here to vibe and love on these dork ass characters!!!!! fuck !!!!!!!!!!!

also it's super cringe when bryan dechart is playing the game and you're all screaming "wow best father son duo everrrrr" in the chat as if that also doesnt make bryan uncomfortable because he's gotta be super fucking careful about how he fuckin speaks about his character to everyone and not piss off all the rabid father-sonners by insinuating they're only friends. just. shut the fuck up. hankcon shippers who try to shove it in other people's faces also need to shut the fuck up. jesus fucking christ

IN OTHER WORDS. old man yells at cloud is basically me rn

^actual pic of me

anyways here's a cookie 🍪

#the blogger says words

[ghostlysenses]

Dont get attached

Tommyinnit x reader platonic

this has been in my drafts for months, i finished it right before I had left, but now im back and I thought I might as well post it c:

TW: ANGST! Death!

enjoy!!

It had happened

the thing he dreaded so much

he got attached

he couldn’t help it

who can?

You were so nice, you treated him like a real person, you had cared about him and him you, you listened!

He could go on and on

but then

something happened

the thing he dreaded the most

he got exiled, he got exiled and there was nothing he could do about it.

Dream had took on a boat and to far, FAR away place.

he couldnt reach you, he couldnt see you, and there was no way he could he hear you.

during his time in exile the only thing he could think about was how you would be comforting him, telling him he’s okay and that everything will turn out fine.

and there were nights where he wished on all the stars that you would come and visit him.

But

you never did

Tommy was so mad

he had gotten attached and the person who he cared for so much and who he thought cared about him

hadnt even visited him

he was angry

when he went to technos

he decided to live there under his floors in a small cave he made himself

of course techno found him and decided to help him.

Him and techno came up with an amazing scheme to help him get back into lmanburg

but even then dreamed seemed to stick around

He had confronted everyone at the community center but

he couldnt find

you.

Where we’re you?

why did nobody know where you were?

what was going on?

He didn’t know how long it would be until he saw you again, but he decided he didnt need you anymore anyways, you clearly didnt care about him so why should he care about you?

During the war afterwords he didnt even see a glimpse of you, through all the rubble and mist he couldn’t find you.

He had thought you had just left one day, gone to a different place

but he was wrong

at some point tommy gave up on finding you, he stopped looking, stopped caring.

It seemed as though you never existed in the first place.

The disc war came and it was time for tommy and tubbo to go.

this was the first time in a long time that you had crossed his mind.

he didnt know why you didnt even come to say goodbye before his potential death, but he shook that thought out of his head and went on.

Him and tubbo fought

it was bloody

it was gruesome

but then a plot twist happened

and dream had took them to some kind of dungeon

where he kept everyones most important things

as they entered they looked around and saw rows of things that people had just deemed ‘missing’ and then he saw the most scariest thing of all

You

You were stuck behind bars, sitting in a small room.

you looked tired, beaten, and frankly

it broke his heart

you hadn’t left him, or gone missing, or went somewhere else.

you were stuck here

trapped

and he knew what it was like to be stuck with dream

and he was fucking pissed

He and tubbo went up to dream, angry, mad.

thats when dream revealed his weapon

“keep acting out tommy” he said in a low voice

he had gone up to a secret door and then came out with you

a fist in your hair as he dragged you out

he grabbed a hold of your chin

“and ill fucking kill them”

Tommy was scared, he didnt know what to do

“you fucking bastard” he said roughly

“what the hell did you do to them?!” tubbo shouted

“I took control! i did what i had too!” dream laughed as he pulled you closer

“now its either tubbo, or her and the discs, pick”

Tommy was shocked at dreams words

“Pick me! come on tommy we have to get her out of here”

Tommy was conflicted

“tick tock tommy!” dream yelled

“i-“ he couldnt even muster any words, what could he say?

“tommy please! you deserve the discs! and they deserve to be free! ill be fine” tubbo kept trying to beg him

you on the other hand were silent as a rock, nobody blamed you, you’re whole body was in shock and so were you

All tommy could do was think right now and dream was an impatient motherfucker

“fuck it, times up tommy”

“No no!! wait!”

and just like that a sword was in your stomach

ironic

as soon as you were stabbed everyone had arrived

and god was it a sight to see

Dreams sword in your stomach

It didnt even take a second for everyone to run up and get dream off you and all he did was laugh

You started falling to the ground

tommy caught you in his arms

shouting your name

“Y/N!!! Y/N!!! Stay with me!!! come on!!”

There was no way in gods given HELL you were going to die in his arms especially right after seeing you again for the first time in months!

Punz ran over and kneeled down

he grabbed a healing potion and put on the wound and then had you drink some

it hardly worked you were still weak but it gave you a few more minutes of life…

You looked up at tommy

“hey…its been awhile huh?” you laugh a bit

he just smiles and hugs you, tears pouring

Punz is screams that they need more healing

You smiled “Im gonna be okay tommy, ill come back, one day”

he cries harder

You died in his arms that day

afterwords dream was sent to prison

and tommy learned a valuable life lesson

never

get

attached.

#tommyinnit x reader #dream mcyt #tommyinnit #dsmp #dream smp #dream smp x reader

[swiftfootedachilles]

MY BEHAVIOR AND RESPONSES REGARDING WHAT EXACTLY??? stop being vague and get fucking specific. unless you HAVE nothing to be specific about because i have done absolutely nothing to garner the hate ive been receiving for MONTHS. the only reason i even said that personal shit about my relationship or lack thereof with judaism in response to your ask is so you understand that i didnt wake up one day and go "today im going to spread misinformation on the internet" i was explaining that i try to learn my shit before i go posting stuff on the internet regarding cultures that i am not a part of and customs i do not follow. i wasnt trying to gain sympathy points, i wasn't doing a "woe is me" schtick. i couldnt care less about how you or anyone else on here feels about me. it was simply me stating that i wasn't trying to misrepresent, stereotype, or negatively convey any jewish cultural beliefs

i cannot "google it" because you didnt even say what specifically i misrepresented or fetishizes about jewish customs... i learned about jewish wedding traditions, then i made a post mentioning some of those traditions because i thought it wouldve been nice to see said traditions in regards to the fictional characters Ian Gallagher and Mickey Milkovich getting married in the television show Shameless. i did not write the episode where they revealed a shitty white supremacists to be also jewish. thats a completely separate conversation to have. i only brought up that episode because an anon was confused as to why i made a post mentioning mickey being jewish. that is what youre so pissed over. again, if i misrepresented something, i wouldnt know because - despite the fact that YOU are the one who send me an ask and made me aware that my post was apparently fetishization - you have not specified what i said to make you come to this conclusion

since you wont tell me what the hell i said that upset you so much and you refuse to respond to me privately, i guess ill have to explain myself here publicly

i can only assume that you already disliked me before today and are just looking for reasons to disassociate with me like all your friends are doing. luckily i still have followers, mutuals, and real friends who have critical thinkings skills and still support/love me despite whatever bullshit is going on in this dumbass fandom right now. whatever. i would love to hear from other people on this since the person who originally raised this concern is not responding to me. do you find it inappropriate or unethical to discuss - specifically in fandom spaces - communities you are not a part of? is that the problem here, or is there something i missed?

#a.txt #blah blah inflammatory statements blah blah #i really dont care 'youre hitting the hornets nest youre digging yourself deeper into this' okay and what exactly do you want me to do #backpedal without explanation? no i dont believe in empty apologies #and im not gonna say sorry without understanding what the hell im saying sorry for

[winderlylandchime]

1/2 and we are now at 5x11 and he is so fucking happy because Brian said i love you and they are back together. He’s smiling so big its actually hilarious.

And the scene opens with Brian at church ‘what the fuck is going on? WHO FUCKING DIED?! DID THEY KILL MIKE? I mean he was an annoying little shit but that’s a bit much. WHY IS BRIAN IN A COFFIN?! WHAT THE FUCK WAS- oh thank fuck its a dream. A horrible one at that.’ ‘Has Brian not been home to shower, fucking hell, i feel so fucking bad for him. Ted is fully in survival mode huh?’ ‘Blondie is at the hospital! Wheres Brian! I need the happy couple back on the screen. Fucking hell Emy is scared now. Okay so Mike is alive and well, good. Now back to Brian and Justin’ And we are at the scene with Brian and Cynthia now ‘i fucking love these two. Look how he cares for everyone. He has a big fucking heart and it pisses me off that people pretend he doesn’t.’ And WE ARE AT THE FIRST PROPOSAL SCENE!!! *said with huge excitement and then it died down* ‘BRIAN AND JUSTIN AT HIS umm place…i love when they mock each other. Ahhh young LOVE. Country manor? Since when has that been a dream? I love seeing Brian around Justin when he works. I have no clue why but I do.’ Brian asks if he heard what he said to him last night ‘yes, i did Brian! Over the sound of my own tears but i heard it! *he paused it RIGHT BEFORE THE PROPOSAL AND I WANTED TO SCREAM* why the fuck is blondie being dismissive..bro that’s not what i wrote in the script inside my little brain *plays ep and Brian propose* um W- WHAT. *he moves forward while sitting as if he heard wrong and then pauses it when Brian talks about his dream* i hate *waves his cast to the tv and scoffs* but i also hate how everyone keeps doubting his change. Like bro let that man change. But also huh *plays ep* NOT WITHOUT HIM! So wait, hold the fuck up. Brian says he loves him. And they kiss. And he..*scoffs again* proposes. And then Blondie just says thanks and thats it? So THEYRE NOT TOGETHER?’ And we are with Ted and Brian at the club ‘i actually get why he doesn’t wanna reopen the club again. It is kinda weird in a way..i dont know. Oh Ted is not in a good shape. Whats going on with everyone’ We are now at the scene with Mel, Linds and Justin and mel says its good they realized what they had before its too late ‘PLEASE TELL ME THAT THIS MAKES BLONDIE RETHINK SOME STUFF…i still hate the..you know what? Im gonna be quiet and not judge. Just go back to Brian’ and we are at the scene with Jen and Brian ‘JEN AND BRIAN!! MY FAVORITE PEOPLE! FINALLY! (She says the judy line) i fucking love this woman! And look so does Brian! They shouldve had more scenes together, this wouldve been amazing (jen says he wants to sell the loft) WHAT?! Why? So not panic then why the fuck is he selling? What is happening? (Brian tells about the proposal) oh my god. HE TOLD HER? Holy fucking shit. *starts laughing cause jen offers pills* i love her but im sure he has some stronger shit in his drawer. OF COURSE SHES SORRY HES NOT HER SON IN LAW! This is the mother he shouldve had. Remember their first scene? I love them’ The scene with Brian and Ben happens ‘man fuck every single one of those protestors. Go to hell. BEAT HIS ASS BEN! I cannot believe that Brian is the collected and calm one. My boy is growing.’ ‘Ah fuck thats why Ted is acting this way. Poor fucking guy. But thats not your fault, man. Hate to say it Teddy but the dude is right, youre not god..that dude sucks’ Brian says he calls him Zen Ben ‘i call you boring. Once again Brian is better than me. It’s still fuck Mike tho *looks at me* what? i can say it now, he’s alive’ Mel and Linds talk about Canada ‘what the fuck is she on? Does she think that this type of shit won’t happen anywhere else?’ And we are at the second proposal now: ‘where the fuck are they going? I hate this car. (It shows the house and he is suspicious and brian says ‘we do’) WE? since when do we speak French? Fuck is he talking about we? THATS WHY HE SOLD THE LOFT?! Wait he bought this for Justin?’ *he pauses tv and stares at me and then just goes back to watching*

Country manor? Since when has that been a dream? RIGHT!?! What is up with Justin this fucking season? Since when does he want to live in the middle of nowhere and be married with children? SINCE WHEN? (And also Brian told him since Day 1 that was never going to happen)

I love seeing Brian around Justin when he works. I have no clue why but I do. YES (also this inspires me for my fic ;) )

Brian asks if he heard what he said to him last night ‘yes, i did Brian! Over the sound of my own tears but i heard it! THE I LOVE YOU HEARD ROUND THE WORLD

i hate *waves his cast to the tv and scoffs* but i also hate how everyone keeps doubting his change. <- Yes on both counts. Like everyone doubts his change so he reverts to what he’s always been and then everyone says “see, it wasn’t real.” But also WTF is this sudden focus on marriage? I hate it. It makes no sense. Leave Ben and Mikey to be the happy married boring couple and let Brian and Justin stay themselves.

This Brian and Jen scene is one of my all time favorites. The two of them have come so far. And Jen is the mother Brian deserves.

Okay… onto the proposal (worst idea ever, fuck you forever writers)

#ask winderlylandchime #dear sweet anon #queer as folk #a straight man watches qaf us 2000 in the year of our lord 2023

[kemafili]

Laois Dungeonmeshi!

GAHHHHHHHH oh holy smokes ok i have been getting ready for this all my life alrgiht i want to be as brief as possible bc if i start to real rant ill never finish

favorite thing about them: puppy sunshine attitude on natural moments, when he needs to change he will do so, sometimes (or maybe even always) he fails at it since he cant read social cues correctly, i adore his social skills epic fail, like i love your autism

least favorite thing about them: idk maybeee ummmm idk nothing i think

favorite line: im going to have to list them

they let me milk a minotaur

i wanted to be born as a quadrupedal monster, too!

at least let me count her nipples!

why am i the only person with a blindfold on..?

im being insulted in a language i dont undersand! and it sounds really nasty!

thats...! so lame.

Just being long-limbed isnt a talent

brOTP: Namari and Laius, they are very fun to see interact with each other, they seem to have a very clear opening on how one likes something a lot like an hyperfixation, Laius appreaciates Namaris knowledge of weapons and such and Namari can appreciate Laius interest for monsters like a tad strange thing but she seems to come around it, in the background panneling of the first-ish chapters and maybe even later on when namari is shown as a flashback, it can be seen that they might have been the second ones to spend more time togheter (Namari and Chilchuck being first, not including Marcille and Falin bc they are basically stuck togheter like glue), oh shit also also the adventurers bible has a few comics where namari and laius are drinking togheter and shes helping him with some shit issues and then they also speak on body hair shit lmfao omggggg fuck my life whatever uuughh i am so normal about them, i do really like them in liek aaaa ummm i say brotp bc i feel like they are very silent of romantic emotion but i also dont want to say everything is platonic lol, they bros in the way straight men that have gay sex are you feel me like that picture of two men almost kissing and it says this is how straight men hang out.

OTP: Laius and Kabru, liek omggg at first i was like they are toxic as hell but just someting so hillyius about them lmfao idk the chad (Kabru) has a love hate situation with the Nerd (Laius) and the nerd doesnt want teh chad? hillaryus idgaf keep chasing that piece of meat though.

nOTP: Laius and Marcille ☹ guhhhhh omg they are besties and Marcille has been so clear on not wanting anything with laius romantically so its liek guhhhhhhh i dont even know what to add here

random headcanon: i said liek 50 million times in the past his favorite food would be cheesecake bc he loves dairy but that is canon now so i want to add that Flan is also his second favorite annnnndddd uhhhh i have so much shit to addd here but i dont have it on my thoguhts rn bc i am Star Trekpilled so i am forgetting my own written lore but like my friends on the server once said

unpopular opinion: i dont like when peopel paint him as a kid or as an idiot because of the autism shit, like he is very much aware of other stuff, saying he doesnt even know what sex is did you forgot when he joked about the crabs inside those treasure shit (i forgot the proper name lmfao) saying if you saw their bottoms ud know their gender and he had a smirk on his face and Chilchuck got pissed off about it or when he found out the armors had sex while holding hands or when the Marcille succubi showed up he knew itd be fucked up if everyone else knew come the fuck on he knows what the hell is up, we need to sexualize autism okay and this doesnt go only there though btw liek stop making him dumber he knows what is up idk how to word it correctly but yeah he cant caught up on social cues but its not a whole umbrella of him being a dumbass

song i associate with them: woah i think its hilarryus that as one of my favorite characters i havent made him a playlist but i feel like hes just. so , so unmusical, like that before mentioned adventurers bible chapter where he says i cant sing or dance i was like yup i am ppretty sure you cant, he doenst seem to have a rhythim LMFAO id say anything that is related to medieval music thats what reminds me of him

favorite picture of them: hi

i hate having to choose only one picture but i love blushing and i love eating so this one

[ihave0hearts4me]

You Cannot Possibly Believe I Can Live in These Conditions

You cannot possibly believe i can live in these conditions 

its hot and humid 

global warming is melting ice caps and releasing deadly mosquito viruses 

or some shit like that 

right now im feeling hot and bothered, 

and not in the good way 

i just wanna rip my shirt off and walk around in a bra 

well, everyone did just walk around in leaves back a few centuries ago, 

hell, women didn’t even cover their tits, 

they just hung freely 

This weather, 

Its suffocate 

I can barely even feel myself walking 

My head hurts, 

I literally feel like im gonna throw up 

I have to get out of this heat, 

Its too much 

I miss winter 

You cannot possibly believe i can live in these conditions 

The winters here are getting worse by the years 

I can practically smell the snow coming towards my “coastal” Heart Of Dixie town 

Im half asleep when my father burst in my room 

Wait what did i hear him say? 

The powers gone out? 

That literally never happens during winter 

It only happens during hurricane season 

This is so bullshit

My mother is always yelling for me to put on all those jackets 

She doesn’t understand that my outfit’ll look chunky if i put all if them on 

We make a fair deal, 

An undershirt, a long sleeve, a cardigan, 

some black pants with shorts underneath, 

and a winter chaleco for good measure 

That seems to satisfy her and myself 

I cant wait for summer, 

Shorts and tees everyday 

No chunky layers 

You cannot possibly believe i can live in these conditions 

Its settled, 

Im dying 

The impending doom that is summer 

Its here back again to kill us all  

It might as well 

Am i going to sound crazy if i say that the literal fucking heat is pissing me off? 

Because just being in it makes me hate everyone im with in the moment 

This human emotion called greed is never satisfied, it always wants something 

Midas doesn’t even compare to us here in 2023,

We want this we need that 

It’s getting so boring in my room 

I feel as tho this isolation is not fixing my problems 

God i cannot wait for school to start and i get to see all my friends and “be myself” 

You cannot possibly believe i can live in these conditions 

Ah yes, another thing ruined by humanity itself again 

Cant even go to fuck school without a bitch worrying she might die, 

And i thought my crushes knowing they’re codename was bad 

Its fine, 

I have a perfectly planned escape route for every classroom, 

But honestly, 

Who the hell thinks to do that kind of shit 

I mean i guess if it was just they’re bullies but, 

Innocent people, 

thats where the fuck i draw the line

And the violence in general in this world 

A man running over people of his own race, 

His own blood basically, 

Those dudes literally looked just like him

I mean, I get a humans thirst for blood, 

For fun, 

For gore, 

For crime, 

For rebelling, 

For attention, 

For vengeance, 

Im human after all, 

And really thats all violence is, 

Its a human quality  

Sometimes i think, 

I think this is all a play 

And we’re just players in a game, 

Just entertainment for a hierarchy to enjoy 

This is just a sick,sick game 

And when our life gets boring or they just want a show with a cliffhanger, 

Thats when it all ends, 

And that when we get reincarnated, 

Its just us getting a cameo in someone elses life 

Life, 

Aha, thats a funny word 

Life, 

Life, 

Life,

Life, 

You cannot possibly believe i can live in these conditions 

These horrible, horrible conditions 

Why i plead, 

Why? 

#poetry #writing #just girly thoughts #i spent way too long on this #i wrote this at 3am

[jupio]

tl;dr my uni house sucks absolute fucking ass and its been building but one things happened today and it has. tipped me over the edge. so its either write it out or scream

i just want. one fucking week in this house where noone does anything that makes me want to beat the shit out of them

we had a couple silverfish earlier this week so i put my houseplants on a window sill in the shared hall outside my room because of the damp. this was 4 days ago and i havent watered them since so they should be bone dry. 

last night i went to bed first but the other people who live here decided to stay up and get drunk

i got my plants back in today because there havent been anymore silverfish and went to water and prune them but when i leant in closer to the first one i noticed two things. 

1. the soil was soaked through and messy 2. it fucking stank of piss

so yknow i dont want to jump to conclusions but what other fucking conclusions are there here. someone in this god fucking awful house thought it would be funny to take one of my plants and piss in it for fucking what??? for the laughs???

theyve poured wine on my dishes, they broke my kitchen scales, theyve screamed and tried to break and kick in my door at 4 in the morning when high on ket, theyve made fun of me to my face, theyve made fun of my hobbies, they make snide comments where i can tell i’m being made fun of but i cant work out what i’ve said wrong, theyve slammed doors at every hour of the fucking night for weeks, they scream up and down the stairs at 3am, they call me boring, they call me stupid and autistic and unfunny and bitchy and nit-picky and overly sensitive and i am so fucking SICK of trying to live here

every day i am masking so hard that i’m even more irritable and i go to bed exhausted and full of anxiety because i know!! i know everytime i leave a room they all look at each other like oh thank god ollie’s gone we can finally be offensive and i’m not sleeping properly, and i’m always on edge in my own home. i cant relax here ever

and idk. someone else might take this less seriously and brush it off. but i cant and i’m tired of trying to explain to them that maybe its funny to prank each other but when you fuck with my stuff it’s not funny, it completely derails my expectations of things and especially with adhd my reactions to things can be out of proportion. so its not funny at all. im just so angry that im shaking and i want to beat the shit out of someone. so no, i dont take well to it, and im not gonna laugh and deal with it, im gonna cry, and react like a kid. and then noone is having any fun because everyone acts like its so awkward that im upset when really they could just be normal fucking decent people and leave me the hell alone.

and now i have to try and deal with this and i have no fucking clue how im even meant to approach it. “hi guys, just wondering who pissed in my beloved trailing ivy? it was £25 so would love some financial compensation and also for you to hold still so i can break your fucking nose!” 

i dont even know if i should just leave it because its just not worth it. i dont even care if im a pushover at this point i am so. tired. of trying to make them respect me as a person. thats what it feels like, it feels like they dont even see me as a person they just see me as a fucking circus freak.

the plants still in my room. i dont even know what to do with that. i dont want to touch it because just touching the pot made my hands smell. so just everytime i look up i get upset and scared and angry all over again because its right there. and im 90% sure i know who did it but if i confront him about it he’ll do that thing where people go cmon its just a joke why are you being so sensitive? jeez, lighten up its not a big deal and ill look stupid and sensitive and different like i always do

ive got 4 more months of living here and then i am fucking gone and i am never speaking to these people again. 

#you know its bad if its getting me to re-consider moving back in with my parents #this is. a kinda long and very angry rant but honestly im shaking right now so its warranted #local old man #vent post