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reidsnose · 3 years

Text

love letters

overview: spencer has a wonderful idea after finding out that reader had never gone to her senior prom

genre: fluff fluff fluff

a/n: i mixed two ideas that have been sitting in my notes app for this lol but i think its sweet!! i wrote it a little rushed and definitely not bc im not getting a prom this year due to miss rona👀 LMAO but as always please lmk what yall think ab it :)

masterlist

the idea had fully occupied his thoughts the second after the words left your mouth.

it was "the buttcrack of dawn" as you had called it, though spirits were high on the late jet ride home. it was a rare but much needed positive end to the case, and everyone was happily chatting with each other. since the case was involving high schoolers, the subject fell on prom. everyone went around sharing their prom stories one by one, recalling awful dresses and questionable dates til the questions turned to spencer.

"what ab you, pretty boy, what was your prom like?" morgan asked, still smiling widely from recalling his own.

you watched spencer shift uncomfortably for a second.

"i uh..i never went to prom." he stammered, a tight lipped smile on his face.

"no! you just dont wanna tell us!" prentiss cried, throwing her hands in the air.

"i graduated high school when i was 12! why would i have gone to prom?" he reasoned.

"you had to have gone when you were older or something! everyone has!" jj countered.

"thats not true, i never went to prom either," you defended, subconsciously inching closer to spencer.

before anyone could even ask you to explain why, spencer got the idea. he mentally left the conversation after you gave your answer. he spent the whole rest of the ride home and the next couple of weeks brain storming and planning.

and casually after work one day, as he was walking you to your car, he asked you if you wanted to hang out with him that weekend; at his house.

you and Spencer had hung out before, but mostly at your house or at coffee shops; he didn't invite people over very often.

of course you agreed but you grew confused when he told you to dress fancy.

you raced home afterwards to raid your closet, looking for any fancy dresses you may have stuffed in there.

spencer spent the whole day preparing his apartment. he put up streamers and balloons. he made a playlist of all your favorite songs. and then he rushed to get his clothes from the cleaners.

and when you knocked at his door the breath that left your lungs struggled to come back after he opened the door.

he stood in a gorgeous suit, different than he had ever worn to work. he rubbed the back of his neck and gestured to the living room, revealing the adorable (albeit poorly made but its the thought that counts) decorations.

"um.. welcome to prom," he said, turning back to you, revealing a blushy smile.

he tried not to stare too much at you, but it was difficult. your eyes sparkled as you stepped inside and looked around. and the dress you were wearing fit you so gorgeously he truly couldnt take his eyes off of you.

"spencer, i..." you trailed off, enchanted by what he had done.

"sorry if it looks bad. or if you think its weird that i did this. i just thought cause neither of us went to prom maybe you wanted to have a little one with me? yeah now that i say it out loud maybe you hate it im sorr-" he rambled behind you.

you turned quickly to him as he got lost in his words, eyes glued to the floor. cutting him off by wrapping your arms around his neck and hugging him as tight as you could. you could feel the tension leave his body as he melted into the embrace, returning it gladly. he doesn't like to be touched by anyone really, except for you.

"i love it. thank you," you whispered, giving him one last squeeze before letting go.

he has a spread of snacks lying out on the coffee table which he has mooved to the corner of the room to make space for a makeshift dancefloor.

he turns on the music and you two start talking and dancing and laughing. two fools with four left feet completely and obliviously in love. well, oblivious the the other anyway.

a slower song came on, an old one that you had wanted to slow dance to ever since you were a little girl. and somehow naturally you two came together, his hand dropped to your waist, the other delicately cradling your own. your other hand found its way up to his shoulder, feeling as though a magnet was pulling you two closer. and closer.

he looked absolutely stunning. the soft lights he had strung around the apartment sparkled like stars in his eyes; its was...dizzying, in the most incredible way.

unbeknownst to you, as you stared at the stars in his eyes he was looking at his whole world that he had been somehow lucky enough to hold in his arms.

he held his arm out, allowing you to spin and when he pulled you back both of your arms ended up wrapped around his neck, and his around your waist. you were less dancing now and more...hugging. with your head pressed to his chest, he hoped with all his might that you wouldn't be able to hear his hammering heart. you most definitely could, but it was calming to know he was as nervous as you were. you smiled, listening more to his heart than the music he had played for you.

you were both sure that you could burst from pure bliss. the song ended a little too quickly for either of your liking and reluctantly you let go of each other. and suddenly Spencer was hit with the realization that he forgot something.

"oh my gosh," his eyes widened as he looked around the room.

"what?" you asked, mirroring him and looking as well.

"i can't remember where i left your corsage! i was gonna give it to you at the door but i forgot!" he exclaimed, running around the room checking shelves.

you smiled to yourself. he got you a corsage!

"ill help you look" you decided.

"please do," he chuckled.

"i thought you had an eidetic memory, shouldn't you know where you left it?" you joked, shooting him a smug smile.

"y/n, my brain was all jumbled to day and it wasn't just from being around you," he realized what he had said and quickly turned back to the shelf he was looking at, "could you check in my room please?"

his heart was racing at his own stupidity; how could he just say that so nonchalantly? he had been planning to tell you that he liked you for the longest time he cant afford slipping up and having it be anything less than perfect.

you slipped into his room, your cheeks warm from the idea that you make his big brain all jumbled. he probably didn't mean it like that, you were just looking too much into it.

you sighed as you crouched to look under his bed for it. you found a small wooden box that you slid out from underneath. it had your name on it.

is it normal to keep a corsage in a wooden box? you wouldn't know, you never went to prom.

you shrugged your shoulders, "i found it spence!"

with out thinking you opened the box, except instead of a band of flowers you were greeted with letters, all addressed to you. there were annotations written in the margins with purple ink. you furrowed your eyebrows as you scanned the various letters.

dear y/n,

today you complimented my glasses and my heart skipped a beat. thats dumb spencer dont start like that

dear y/n,

im in love with you. too forward

dear y/n,

you make life worth living. shes gonna think youre a creep

you felt a rush of euphoria fill your chest. did he really feel these things for you? your thoughts swirled in the most wonderful way. a wide smile broke across your face, butterflies running rampage through your stomach as you reread his words. his words addressed to you.

"oh thank God i really thought i lost-oh. oh no." spencer started as he walked through the door of his room immediately walking back out. you followed, blinking your watery eyes at him. "i can explain.

"i think youve explained enough, theres like 20 letters in here!" you chuckled, flipping through them.

"i didnt know how to tell you and i dont want to ruin what we already have and i-"

"it wasnt too forward." you stated, grabbing one of the letters.

"what?" he asked, dumbfounded.

"in this one," you held up the letter, "you wrote dear y/n, im in love with you. and then you crossed it out and wrote that it was too forward but i dont think it was."

"youre not mad?"

"mad? spencer ive been trying to admit the fact that im in love with you since i realized it myself, why would i be mad?"

"youre..you feel the same way?" he looked back up at you, a hesitant smile pulling on the corners of his lips.

"more so," you beamed, stepping closer.

he wrapped his arms around you, "thats good or else the rest of this prom would have sucked."

you chuckled, pulling him impossibly closer to you as another perfect song played.

ultra mega super cool taglist

@mac99martin @imhreid @spencersmagic @hollydaisy23 @raelady1184 @a-broken-pact @padfootswife @hey-there-angels @star-stuff-in-the-cosmos @sonnydoesrandomshit @averyhotchner @laurakirsten0502 @reidyoulikeabook @rem-ariiana @spencerreid9 @vampire-overlord @takeyourleap-of-faith @spenxerslut @violetspoetic @aperrywilliams @b-a-utiful @eevee0722 @srhxpci @reidemandweep @imdefinitelyfloating @random-human-person @gurkiloni @luvspence @calm-and-doctor @ssavanessa22 @singularityjc @sydnee-kom-spacekru @sydneekomspacekru

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nepenthendline · 4 years

Text

Mental Health Headcannons - Tsukishima, Kageyama, Ushijima, Tendou & Bokuto

All these are from my knowledge and based off of each character’s actions haikyuu, this is all my opinion so feel free to discuss other thoughts! I’m happy to talk about each more in depth if anyone would like it :) this is just me projecting my own problems on fictional characters

You can also message me if you wanna talk about these too!!

This is going to be long

TW: Mental health, learning difficulties, eating disorders, self-harm

Tsukishima - Depression, Anxiety & OCD

Tbh someone else (I’ve been trying to find their username to tag them but I can’t find it, they’re called something like theguessmonta but idk) has amazing posts about Tsukishima and his mental health which I totally agree with all of it so some of this is going to be pretty similar

I think his mental health problems started when he was quite young, around the time when the Akiteru drama happened so he’s been dealing with these for a while

Having depression can often make a person seem very disinterested/sarcastic/negative as a way of pushing back emotions and self-protection which explains a lot of the way Tsukishima acts towards some people (I have a whole post on how he isn’t just some asshole)

His anxiety stems from a place of terrible self-esteem and self-image, it’s clear to see he has a bad sense of self-worth when he talks about how people are obviously a lot better than him, he’s just there to ‘stop trouble happening’

Tsukki suffers from panic attacks quite regularly (especially when he was a bit younger) but he tends to shut himself off then they happen, he doesn’t want anyone else to see him like that

His anxiety and overthinking is often why he keeps his headphones on him at all times, listening to music helps drown out the sounds around him and those in his head

His OCD got worse over time - first it was things like turning the light switch on and off repeatedly until it felt right, or tapping on his desk before he went to bed, but as his anxiety and self-esteem got worse it developed into him needing himself to be perfect

This included only eating a certain amount of calories a day (no where near the amount he should be eating) or getting a very specific grade on an exam, where even one number over or under set him into a panic

Things got to their worst for Tsukki around the age of 13 - this is where he was much too underweight and self-harming on his hips (so no one else could see)

Probably also thought about suicide a couple times around this point

He has tried a couple different types of anti-depressants in the past, however none have seemed to help

He likes a lot of time alone - he gets too overwhelmed dealing with other people

The only person besides his family and Yamaguchi that knows about his OCD is Kageyama - they both noticed each others odd, repetitive habits until Kageyama asked him about it one day, while they don’t get along too well, they feel some comfort in each other understanding their actions

Kageyama - Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)

wow what a smooth segue

this boy is like a walking definition of ASD - coming from a person with ASD

Kageyama was diagnosed with Type 1/High-functioning Autism when he was very young (probably around 3-5 years old)

He struggles with social interaction, knowing what to say to people and most importantly, how to say it, e.g. when he smiles people often think he looks angry

Kageyama has never had many, if any, friends before Karasuno, as he has often struggled with conversation and speaking in an inappropriate tone that may make some people uncomfortable or even scared

He isn’t very good when it comes to remembering academic studies but if it relates to his fixations (volleyball) he is extremely intelligent - this is seen clearly when Daichi shows their team hand gestures and Kageyama says he remembered them in a day

Kageyama uses masking a lot - it’s a technique people with ASD tend to do which involves copying other peoples actions in order to understand social situations, he does this many times in the anime/manga such as his awkward BBQ song dance, or high-fives

He visited a social worker once a week while he was little until he started middle school, resulting in his behaviours getting worse

Towards the end of his first year at Karasuno he went back to therapies regularly and has anger-management training in order to help him express himself in a manageable way - he probably won’t admit it but it helps a lot (key note is that having anger-management training often does not have anything to do with anger, simply just managing emotions in general but it often a great type of therapy for those with ASD although he is a bit of an angry boi sometimes)

ASD comes with repetitive, almost OCD-like tendencies - two examples include filing his nails every single day and having a very specific routine before going to bed that consists of drinking milk, putting on pjs, laying in bed and throwing + catching a ball, brushing his teeth and going to bed on his left side - if he doesn’t do these things at the right times/in the right order, he gets extremely anxious and agitated

It is important to remember people with ASD tend to also have another mental health issue, such as anxiety or depression

Ushijima - Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)

autism buds with kageyama

I kid thats probably a bad idea

Ushijima was also diagnosed with Type 1/High-Functioning Autism when he was 5

Unfortunately due to the stigma around Autism, his family (besides his father) were not very accepting of this and he was put into therapy at a young age

While this was actually helpful for him, his family insisted his therapies should ‘cure’ him and were dismissive of the many times a doctor told them that ASD is not a curable disorder

Outside of therapy he does not receive much support from his family, except his father who got him a pair of noise-cancelling headphones he used to wear until he 8 whenever they went out together - he was only allowed to wear them if it was just him and his father, the rest of his family thought it made it too obvious there was ‘something wrong with the child’

Extending on this, Ushijima was very sensitive to sensory input as a child, and while he still is, it has become easier to manager as he has gotten older

His ASD is most prevalent in his lack of understand ways of communication, such as sarcasm or jokes, and tends to take things very literally

@simp4satori and I came to the conclusion that if you were to call him daddy during sex, or ask him to ‘punish you’ the poor boy would have NO CLUE - would probably call your dad and tell him you needed to speak to him, or say you can’t watch anime for a week lol

He is extremely direct when he talks, to the point where it comes across rude or hurtful but he doesn’t realise this until someone mentions it

Tendou probably helps him rephrase things from time-to-time in order for him to get his point across

He gets very anxious when faced with things he doesn’t know about or understand (this is mentioned by Tendou in the manga), this can include people, going to new places or trying new foods

It is important to remember people with ASD tend to also have another mental health issue, such as anxiety or depression

Tendou - Depression and Anxiety (also a highly sensitive person - that’s not a mental health disorder or illness but it does affect him)

Tendou’s mental health suffered from a young age due to bullying in school

This caused a lot of low self-esteem and low mood, and he was later on diagnosed with depression and anxiety

Only his family, Ushijima and his coach know about this, and even then, only his family know any details

No one would really expect Tendou to deal with such mental health issues as he always keeps a bubbly, happy persona around others - he doesn’t want people to think he is weak or cowardly

It is also hard for others to see and he is someone with high-highs and low-lows, so when he is happy or excited his emotions are quite extreme

Tendou’s anxiety relates a lot to his image, mainly his appearance and the way he acts, but he is also a general over thinker

He doesn’t have panic attacks as often as Tsukishima does, however they do happen occasionally when things just get too much

He often thinks that people are staring at him, or talking about him whenever he goes out, and he tends to hid this by seeming overly cocky or sardonic

When his depression hits, he tends to just feel sad or hopeless instead of numb, which tends to trigger his anxiety too

Tendou used to self-harm often around his hips/thighs however he hasn’t done so since the end of his first year of high-school

Probably makes a lot of dark ‘jokes’, especially around suicide and people semi are like ‘...dude...you ok?’ and he’s just like ‘hahaha yeah im fine what’

He doesn’t like alone time too much as he tends to get trapped in his own thoughts

As expected of the guess monster, he is extremely good at reading and understanding people, which is how he finds it easier to help and communicate with Ushijima

Bokuto - ADHD

A lot of people at Fukurodani think Bokuto is just stupid, however he actually has ADHD

He was diagnosed a lot later than the rest at 12 years old

Bokuto tends to struggle with his studies as his attention-span is very low and can get distracted easily - either by things in the classroom or his own thoughts

He’s very forgetful, often forgetting his lunch at home or forgetting to do/bring in his homework, and this goes into volleyball too where he forgets how to do certain moves

Taking exams are the worst for Bokuto, he hates having to be still and quiet for such a long time and is very sensitive to little sounds or movements that distract his attention - you’ll often find his bouncing his leg or fiddling with his pen

He tends to butt into conversations or interrupt people when they are talking, he just gets a bit too enthusiastic to share his thoughts

He has extreme mood-swings too which we see often in the anime, especially when he is stressed or someone mentions his behaviours

Is very reckless - Akaashi has probably had to stop him from leaning too far out the window and almost falling to look something

The whole Fukurodani volleyball team are aware of his ADHD and do their best to help him and make him feel comfortable or accepted

They are the only people allowed to call him stupid - they will fight anyone else

I think there are more characters with mental health illnesses or disorders, such and Yamaguchi, Yachi, Kenma and Asahi having anxiety so I might write more at some point!

#jesus that was long #haikyuu #ushijima wakatoshi #kageyama tobio #tsukishima kei #bokuto koutaro #Tendou satori #Tendo Satori #headcannon #mental health #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu scenario #haikyuu!!

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flobro · 3 years

Text

Omovember 2020

Day One - In a Vehicle

Kageyama x Reader

Kageyama’s PoV

Could i get any stupider?

In the rush of Hinata, Y/n and I finishing our tests, scrambling into Tanaks sisters car and setting off immediately for Tokyo I hadnt had time to pee.

Hinata was sat in the front passenger seat as Y/n and I were in the back of the car.

To make matters even worse, i had a huge crush on Y/n and the nerves of sitting next to her were bugging my bladder even more.

I tried to keep my breathing steady because i knew that if i panicked things would only get even worse for my nerves.

I wasnt too desperate yet but the need was still there. We had only been driving for about ten minuets so i definitely couldnt ask how much longer we had to drive yet otherwise everyone would definitely know something was wrong with me.

I crossed my legs which seemed to ease the pressure a little bit and made everything a bit more bearable and i tried to focus my mind on anything but my need to pee.

I jumped slightly as Y/n tapped my shoulder five minuets later and i felt my bladder twinge slightly, making me squeeze my thighs together as descretely as i could.

‘Whats up?’ I asked Y/n, who sent me a stunning smile.

‘You look bored, you wanna listen to some music with me?’ She asked, holding out one of her earbuds to me.

I nodded and shakily grabbed the headphone, ‘Yeah, thanks.’

She just nodded, ‘No problem!’

We had to shuffle slightly closer to eachother so that the earphones could reach to both of our ears and i couldnt help but notice how my seatbelt uncomfortablely pressed down onto my bladder, making my desperation go from a 4/10 to a 7/10.

Hinata and Saeko (Tanakas sister) were chatting happily about volleyball and the tiny giant in the front seats and i was glad that they werent focused on me because then i would feel even more pressured.

Another fifteen minuets had passed and I had tried my best to get lost in Y/n’s music but now my bladder was almost at its maximum capacity and i was beginning to shuffle around a bit, squeezing my thighs together as tight as possible.

Y/n looked at me and yanked the headphone wire, making them fall out of both of our ears.

Y/n went closer to my ear and whispered, ‘Hey, are you okay? You seem uncomfortable?’

My body shivered at the feeling of her breath on my skin and it relaxed my body for a second, making a bit of urine leak out of me.

I gasped and crammed my hands onto my crotch, tensing my body up again, stopping the flow as fast as i possibly could.

Y/n’s eyes widened in realisation and i blushed a deep red, hiding my face away from her, waiting for her to tell me how disgusting and gross i am.

But she didnt...

Instead, she placed a hand comfortingly on my shoulder, her touch making my heart rate speed up even more.

‘Is there anything i can do to help you?’ She whispered to me once again, continuing to keep her voice low so Saeko and Hinata wouldnt ask questions.

I shook my head and tried to calm myself down. There was no way in hell that i was gonna show myself up in front of the girl i like by acting like a four year old.

‘N-no,’ I said, trying to act as calm as possible, ‘Im f-fine dont worry.’

She didnt look like she believed me so i slowly removed my hands from between my legs to try and prove that i wasnt as desperate as it seemed.

Bad idea.

As soon as i took my hands away, another bit of urine left me and i gasped once again, putting my hands back onto my crotch.

This time the flow was harder to control and i knew that there was a 99% chance that there would be a wet patch on my shorts.

Saeko and Hinata must have heard me gasp because their conversation stopped abruptly.

‘You okay back there?’ Sakeo asked and i felt my throat dry up.

Hinata began to turn around to look at us and Y/n and I both panicked, knowing he would see my obvious state of desperation.

Y/n suddenly unclipped her seatbelt and laid accross my lap gently, covering up my crossed legs and hiding my odd hand placement.

Her arm momentarily dug into my stomach, pressing on my overfilled bladder, forcing a two second stream of urine out of me which i painfully cut off, knowing that my boxers were almost fully soaked now.

‘How come your laid down, Y/n?’ Hinata asked her and she sighed.

‘I just feel a bit car sick,’ She said, ‘Do you know how long it will be until we get to Tokyo?’

*Slick* I thought to myself. She had somehow managed to cover up the fact i was about to pee myself AND had a good reason to ask how long it would take until we would arrive.

Hinata frowned, ‘Oh thats not good, i hope you feel better soon!’ and turned back around to look out of the front window.

‘We will arrive in half an hour but were gonna be on this stretch of road for another twenty minuets and wont see another place to stop for a while.’ Saeko said, sounding worried about Y/n.

Y/n frowned at me and sat up again, ‘Okay dont worry, im feeling a bit better after lying down but when we come across a place to stop it would be nice to be stationary for a while.’

Saeko chuckled slightly, ‘Okie dokie! Ill keep that in mind for you!’

Y/n mustve seen the tears in my eyes and my expression showing that i had completely lost hope as she placed an arm around my shoulders, hugging my side for a second before whispering, ‘Sorry i couldnt help you much. Dont stress out, we’ll find a stop for you. You’ll be okay.’

I got butterflies in my stomach from her touch but i ignored them, not wanting to focus on anything else other than holding myself in.

Y/n clipped herself back into her seat and I decided that i would have to speak up. Y/n already knew and Saeko wouldnt make fun of me. Surely i could just scare Hinata into keeping his mouth shut too.

‘C-can you drive a-any faster?’ I shakily asked, panic evident in my voice, ‘I r-really need t-the bathroom.’

Saeko immediately sped the car up, ‘Ill drive as fast as i can. We’ll reach a stop in about fifteen minuets. Can you last?’

I felt a single tear roll down my cheek, feeling pathetic and stupid, ‘I... I d-dont know!’

‘Its usually me who need to pee.’ Hinata said from his seat, making me bubble with anger.

‘S-shut up idiot! This i-isnt funny!’ I growled at him, unable to make my voice any louder.

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, putting all my energy into keeping my muscles tensed as much as i possibly could.

My eyes widened as my body began to relax itsself against my will.

‘No... NO.. NO!’ I panicked, ‘YOU N-NEED TO PULL THE C-CAR OVER!’

Saeko quickly turned the wheel and brought the car to the side of the road and i unclipped my seatbelt, threw the door open, and scrambled out of the car.

As soon as i got out i immediately crumbled onto the floor, my legs giving out underneath me as my lap began to feel warm.

Wow. I had really gone and done it hadnt i? I pissed myself in front of my senpais sister, annoying volleyball partner AND my crush. Could it have been any worse?

My shorts were completely soaked and a puddle had began to grow around me. I couldnt even bring myself to try and stop it because my body felt so weak.

No amount of embarassment would ever compare to what i was feeling in that moment. I didnt even want to begin to imagine what Saeko, Hinata and Y/n were thinking of me.

Tears rolled down my cheeks and i kept my head down so no one would be able to see my face.

It took at least a minute for my bladder to fully empty. I felt so pathetic and dumb but there was nothing i could do other than just sit there and wait for myself to be finished.

A pair of shoes came into my line of vision and i looked up slowly to see Y/n with her hand stretched out to me, offering to help me up.

I looked away from her quickly, my voice barely above a whisper, ‘You s-shouldnt touch m-me. Im a-all gross. Even m-my hands.’

She crouched down and placed a hand on my cheek, wiping away one of my tears and making me look up at her, my face even redder.

‘I dont care. Dont stress about it okay? Its a human need. There wasnt anything you could do to avoid it.’ She said in a calm and genuine voice.

I nodded and she grabbed my slightly damp hand. I glanced at her face and she want even slightly disgusted.

I stood up and Y/n kept her hand laced with mine.

We got back into the car, I was sat on a towel. Saeko said that she didnt mind and strangely Hinata hadnt even mentioned it which i was thankful for. Although everyone was being very calm and unaffected by it, i still felt mortified.

Y/n suddenly lent over to me to whisper in my ear one last time, ‘Dont worry about it so much. Ill always have a crush on you.’

My face reddened as i looked at her, ‘I h-have a c-crush on you too.’

Y/n giggled, ‘I guess that makes me your girlfriend then.’

~~~~~~~~~~

hey guys !!

this was my first time writing an omofic so i hope you liked it !!!

~ flobro

#animeomo #omorashi #kageyamaomo #haikyuuomo #kageyamaxreader #haikyuuxreader #haikyuuxreaderomo #y/n #hinatashoyo #kageyamatobio #fanfiction #omofic #omorashifanfiction #pee #fictomo #theres not enough haikyuu x reader omo #PLEASE MAKE MORE HAIKYUU X READER OMO #omovember

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luvuwite · 3 years

Note

all, go

i hate you

1. What was the last present you gave?

uMMMM probably a commission i gave to pancake (archie/vivi)

2. What was the last present you received?

i dunno? if its a doodle then i got that a week back!

3. What animal best represents your personality?

from the oOoOO spirit animal tests i took im a snek

4. What are you most afraid of?

sometimes my own mind EYES EMOJI

5. Who is your favourite villain?

HMMMMMMM probably like,, megamind i love him

6. Who is your favourite family member? (we all have one, admit it)

MY SISTERRRR

7. If you could name your own planet what would it be called?

myanus

8. Stars or Moon?

stars!!

9. Do you have/want kinds?

if my other partner wants them, sure

10. What is your greatest life goal?

making it this far

11. What is something you can’t live without?

soup

12. What is a place you associate with your childhood?

one of the parks near the store-area

13. How was your first kiss/how would you like your first kiss to go?

i never kissed, so i wouldn’t know, but pls,,,ask for consent,,, and warn me if we gonna kiss or not,,,,,

14. What is some life advice you have acquired?

ive learned a lil’ bit, but one of em probably has to be to just be like,, dont cry over something you know is fake, at least thats what i remember atm HAHA

15. Who in history has influenced you?

bruh i dont like history idk

16. What is something strange that you think about often?

h,,,hopless romantic noISIJEIORQ AHHAHA i like to think about weird scenarios in my head basically

17. Baths or Showers?

showrr i get shy with myself in baths

18. Tea of Coffee?

coffee

19. Alcohol or soft drink?

alchohol bad brisk brisk brisk

20. Writing or typing?

typing since its easier

21. What is you most favourite thing in your bedroom?

my bed its sexy and comfy

22. Spontaneous holiday! Where are you going and with who?

wait what UH I DONT KNOW probably just close close friends and family

23. Introverted or Extraverted?

i have my moments with both

24. Describe yourself in two words.

small and aggressive

31. What do you think of when you hear ‘portrait’?

a picture or image of someone/something

32. Tell me about your partner/ideal partner?

i mean no one is perfect yeah? i just want them to be honest with me and accept my AHEM struGGLES with relationships since im not the best partner

33. Tell me about your siblings, if you have any?

my sister is what you call a “girly girl”, she likes disney movies, outdoors, being loud and running around, yknow just like any other child ever

35. What are you a big advocate for?

my friends!!

36. If you’re comfortable to answer, what is the sickest you have ever been?

migraine + stomach bug + mental in trash + stomach pains + lil appendix pain

37. When were you the most scared in your life?

when i broke my arm

38. Ever had a paranormal experience?

ACTUALLY YEAH i thought i heard someone yelling help outside my window and i peaked out and realized it was nothing and i figured i was just tired but i was still kinda freaked

39. Biggest celebrity crush at the moment?

im not like other girls,,,,....

40. What is something happening in your life right now?

uhhh just general anxiousness/paranoia(?) tbh

41. What is your favourite mythological creature?

DRAAAAGOOOOOON

42. Marvel or DC?

dont know what those are

43. What object would be on your family’s banner?

soup

44. Favourite flower?

pink rose

45. One characteristic you like in a partner?

s,,,support/reassurance pls

46. What planet/star would you travel to if it were possible?

i wanna,,,, actually i dont know i think i would just enjoy floating around in general

47. What is your favourite meal… ever?

soup

48. First time…. doing anything. Describe your first time doing something?

first time i drew was twiggit sperkl and that was the most proudest i ever felt

49. Who is your favourite superhero?

bRUHHH I DUNNO I DONT WATCH THAT STUF

50. What is your favourite poem? Recite it?

i dont read

51. What is an exercise you despise doing.

burpees

52. Secret talent?

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

fite

53. Current song on replay replay replay?

[x]

55. If you weren’t in your current occupation what would you be doing?

sleeping probably

56. What is the first thing you notice about the person you fancy?

,,y,yo they kinda,,,, scrumptious,,, AHUIWRWQI

57. If you had one wish that would definitely come true, what would it be?

yes

58. If you could time travel, when and where would you visit?

i would go to future bc i wanna see what i look like

59. What is your lucky number?

60. If you adopt a pet what would it be and what would you name it?

a cat!! and i actually am planning a name and calling them clementine!!

61. Do you believe in fate/everything happens for a reason?

i believe your fate is decided by ur own actions/words

62. What is your favourite thing about your personality?

im not too hard to get along with,, i hope

63. What is your favourite thing about your appearance?

uhhhhhhhhhhhhh

64. What is your favourite clothing store?

primark bc everything is like 2 bucks

65. What is your favourite online store?

i dont do online shopping too much

66. Use one word to describe your most favourite person?

observant

67. How do you usually have your hair?

down with a clip, then ponytail next day

68. What was your favourite subject in high school?

math

69. What makes you feel empowered?

power over something/someone(as a joke/in games, not in a bad way)

70. What motivates you to do something?

a prize at the end

71. What advice would you give someone who is going through a rough time?

it gets worse before it gets better, and in the worse ill be there for you so you dont have to go through this alone

72. Ideal date?

wendys!!! sweater weather!!! cuddle!!! left 4 dead!!! comfy clothes!!!

73. What is the best date night movie?

i am not that attractive to be taken out on a date

74. What is something you are currently looking forward to?

nothing atm tbh im just here bc i have to beIEOJRWIOE

75. Tell me a funny joke?

oo wa oh wa ooh

76. Do you like musicals? If so, what’s your favourite?

never listened to one actually

77. What is your favourite song currently?

sweater weather. always.

78. What song never fails to make you dance?

POP EYED JOEEEEE IVE BEEN LIVING???? LONG TIME YOOO

79. What is your favourite “classic?”

gnomeo and juliet

80. What is the best advice you have ever been given?

obese paragraph and comfort doodles? lets go

81. Where did you ancestors come from?

puerto rico

82. What have you learned from your parents/guardians?

be tough nugget and dont take shit seriously till you have to

83. What is a phrase you heard a lot growing up?

dont step on the crack or youll break ur mothers back

84. Do you believe in magic?

nnno

85. What reminds you of your best friend?

overwatch

86. What are you passionate about?

dance dance dance

87. Tell me a story from middle school?

one time

the end

88. Who was your favourite teacher and why?

i love my bio teacher rn bro shes such a sweetheart

89. Can you roll your tongue?

yes

90. What made you pursue what you are studying? (including school subjects)

my little pony

91. Where would you like to travel to?

japan for those toys gimme gimme

92. What is something on your bucket-list?

i wanna see coral reef

93. What is home to you?

place that brings feeling of comfort/security

94. What do you do in your free time?

draw

95. If you could buy anything right now, what would it be?

food

96. If you could see anyone, living or dead, right now, who would it be?

probs one of my online friends

97. If you could choose, what would your last meal be?

soup dumplings brisk and rice

98. How would you like to die?

happy

99. List five of your favourite pieces of art (paintings, books, songs etc)

ruby eyes / sweater weather / ponyo / wall-e / idk

100. What would you change about this world?

global warming SHOOO U FAT

#post #ask #long post #sugarbreadz

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peach4cherryplease · 4 years

Text

Free Like Rain

Authors note: unedited because I don’t want to.

A fic of what Peach is feeling told by the feeling of Roman sanders for his friend Remus

Wattpad here

Roman sat in the vehicle at a red light. It was raining cats and dogs outside, practically flooding the streets making every pothole a huge puddle.

He was going over to Remus’s house. They are to hang out and watch netflix and just chill. No not the sexual stuff, even though Roman truly wishes it was. But it’s not.

The music played loudly in his vehicle. So loud that a normal person would complain about possibly loosing their hearing. But not roman. No he was listing to what remus likes to listen to. Remus’s music style. It was so different from his own yet some how the same.

He watched as the rain splattered against his roof. And all he could think about was remus.

He wanted remus.

Sexually? Yes.

As a friend? Yes

He wanted to touch remus. He wanted to hold his hand.

He wanted to kiss his lips.

He wanted to hold remus. He wanted- no! Needed to keep remus safe.

And there was nothing in his life that could ever make him feel this way.

Was he crazy? Maybe. He's only met remus 6 months ago, but it felt like they have always been together. As if they have grown up together. As if they were the same person.

The light turned green and roman pressed on the gas.

He shouldn't be speeding. But there was nearly no one on the road. The music mixed with the rain.

Roman closed his eyes for a second. Not too long because remember he is driving.

He wanted to get high. No he doesn't. He wouldn't do a single drug in his life if its not prescribed. But remus has gotten high. Remus gets high all the time. He sometimes smells like straight weed. Thats the closest to getting high roman will ever get.

But what was he feeling right now? Right now he felt high. High off of emotion? Maybe.

Remus felt like a drug to roman.

Roman was most definitely crazy.

He pulled up in front of remus’s house. He grabbed his phone and ran to the door.

His legs felt weak. He was so close. So close to seeing remus again. He needed this.

He rang the door bell.

Remus was amazing. He was cool. He was what people called edgy. And most people back in highschool thought that remus was a weirdo. That kid with problems. Someone who wasnt completely there. But remus was a lot more than what people where giving him. Roman knew this.

Roman knew remus was amazing.

The door opened and there standing in front of him was a half naked remus.

“Yo” he was greeted. Roman walked in, kicking off his wet shoes and followed remus down to the basement.

“We should watch this netflix series called bonding. It seems interesting” remus says. Roman nods his head in agreement, not trusting his own mouth to work correctly.

Remus popped a fry into his mouth. “Are you ok?” he asked.

“Yeah, im good” roman replied. He was not ‘good’. His heart was betraying him, going 1000 miles an hour. He just wanted to touch remus, but he had no reason to at the moment. He wanted to be one with remus. He just …. He needed help.

The show started and roman wasnt really watching. Instead he was gaing secret glances at the other 19 year old.

Remus paused the show.

“Ok, whats up. Talk now” remus demanded. This caused romans breath to hitch.

God he loved remus so much. He was so…. Roman couldnt find the words to describe what he wanted. Remus was just so… yes.

He was everything and anything roman ever needed or wanted.

“Theres nothing up” roman lied. Remus didnt buy a single part of it. He looked roman right in the eye, or at least tried to. Roman looked away quickly.

Meeting remus’s eyes? Fuck no. he couldnt do it.

“Roman?” remus asks. His name falling from the others lips, thats all roman wanted.

“Y-yeah?”

“Is there something you want to tell me?”

There was silence. It felt so deafening to his ears. He couldnt do this. Nope. roman jumped up. “Sorry. Ive gotta-” roman started as he fumbled his way up the steps. Trying to find his way to the exist of the house. To get out of there. He couldnt breathe. It wasnt a bad couldnt breathe like he was trapped in a airplane that was crashing, but instead a couldnt breathe that hurt but also he wanted and enjoyed. Point is though, he couldnt breathe and he needed out now.

“Roman” remus called after him but roman was already up the steps and sticking his feet back into his shoes and out the door.

“Roman” remus called again. He stopped roman outside. It was still raining and he was still half naked. He didnt even bother to put on his shoes. He was bare footed in the rain as he reached for romans arm pulling him around aggressively. “Please dont leave, i like you. Youre the only one who understands me”

Roman stared at remus. He was surprised. Remus. His green and white hair lights mixed in the strains of dark brown. Soaking wet from the rain. The rain running down his fair face. His pink.. Puckered lips. Remus was just so hot.

But his words. His words are what surprised roman the most. “I-” roman starts unsure of what to say. He couldnt breathe.

Remus was touching him. He was asking him to stay. He liked him. He liked him! “I like you too” roman says.

“Then why are you leaving? I dont want you to leave. Please dont leave me like everyone else”

And the realizing thought came crashing back in on romans heart. This is why. He cant be in love with remus. Remus saw him as a friend. Remus was attached to him, his best friend, because everyone else has left. They all left violently, making remus wake up in a sweaty mess and endless tears. Roman couldnt do this to remus. He had to be his friend. He couldnt be more than his friend. He couldnt protect remus in the lovers romantic way but instead as a friend. And it hurt. It really did. He wanted MORE than just as friends. But he couldnt do anything about it now.

“Please dont” roman says. And remus’s face drops.

“Youre leaving?” remus asks.

“No i mean… “ roman takes a deep breathe. His lungs getting the oxygen needed. “Im not going to leave you remus. Not now not ever” roman says.

“Then whats wrong?”

Roman didnt know how to answer.

Everything is what is wrong!’ he wanted to scream. But he couldnt.

He wanted to lean down and kiss remus. He wanted to be one with him. So fucking bad.

He shook his head. “Nothing is wrong” he says. Tears swelling in his eyes. “Go back inside before you get sick” he was pulling his arm from remus’s hand.

“Roman! Please!”

“What? What do you want remus? I just want to go home” he says.

“Please i cant- i font want to be alone tonight. My thoughts.” remus says a bit softer. And if roman wasnt use to how remus speaks then he probably wouldnt have heard him but he did. "please just stay the night. roman?"

roman stud in the rain. he looked at everything but remus. he wanted to sink into the ground, going to hell would be more pleasurable than aching for something he couldnt have. but he couldnt leave remus. not after he practically begged him to stay. he couldnt do it to him. so instead he nodded his head.

"ill stay the night" roman says. his words numb to his own ears. remus eyes grew wide.

"really? you're actually staying?"

"yes"

remus grabbed romans hand and pulled him inside.

they were touching again. something that roman wanted. remember? he wanted this. but why does he hate it? why does he hate being around remus? he loved remus's smell of weed and musk but he also hated it. he hated how sexy remus looked as he ran his fingers through his hair because they both got drenched. he hated how remus was so comfortable around him that he stripped while in the kitchen. roman needed out. he couldnt....

he just wanted remus.

"here" remus handed roman a towel and fresh clothes. "roman. I don't know what wrong, but i hope youre ok. and i want you to know that I'm here for you" remus says pulling roman into a hug. his body dry and warm, holding on to a wet clothed roman.

"I'm fine" roman said out loud. he looked straight ahead of him. Out the window of the kitchen to the rain that poured from the sky. rain that was free to do as it pleased. something, roman couldnt do. at least not with remus.

1490 WORDS

Im going to honest with you, idk what i wrote. This is based off of true feelings. If you're confused, dont worry im confused too.

#remrom #remus sanders angst #pinning #weed mention #abandonment #peach4cherryplease work

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brynhildr13 · 5 years

Text

MY personal unofficial live report of NYC!

Again, this is NOT OFFICIAL. I was NOT PRESS. This is just MY PERSONAL account of my amazing experience!!! I copied it from my Facebook post i made. @baby-come-bach is "Melissa".

Okay. So now that im home and safe and I committed everything to memory i wanna talk about the show!!! IF you wanna just skip down to the meet and greet go down below the line. The stuff above is what happened during the concert.

The live was AMAZIIIIIINNNGGG!!! EVEN BETTER THAN THE LAST SHOW.

There was the stage, then the pit, then behind the pit was about 6 steps and a platform with a railing. Behind that was another set of steps and a railing and seating in the back. Once we got into the venue i told Melissa to take my poster and go get me the spot i wanted while i got merch. We were behind the pit at the railing on Uruha's side. He's my fave bandman and OHHHO MY GOD THE VIEW WAS. PERFECT. Melissa must have read my mind because she knew i like uruha but didnt know what side he stood on. Lolol. She guessed correctly and stayed to the right. I stayed in line for merch and got my stuff and went to meet her. I couldnt have asked for better view. We werr SO CLOSE. And above the pit so i didnt have to fall victim to my stature.

So we wait and then they start the show. And they all walk out all stoic and tall and QIDNWODNWJD. Kai came out first, then aoi and reita and uruha, then ruki last. And they went right into their songs. They sounded SOOOO good omg.

My highlights from the show:

Uruha was HEADBANGING ALL NIGHT and SPINNING AROUND AND SMILING HE WAS SOOOO INTO IT HE BROUGHT SO MUCH ENERGY.

Ruki kept dancing and shaking his shoulders and hips. He cant dance that well so it was endearing and funny but also kept the mood.

Kai was smiling like the sun the whole time. He LOVES to perform and it shows.

Reita kept bending down really low and slapping his bass really hard. Especially when they played one song that featured him. (the mortal) He went HAM. IT WAS AWESOME.

Aoi was so majestic. He didnt really MOVE much but he did walk around the stage with the others a lot. He was so captivating just like before.

And there were two or three 15-30 second pauses. Their english was WAY better than last time, especially Ruki's! He said "we were so excited to come to New York!! We're so happy to be here!!!!" And then they riled us up with call and answer. It was great!!!!

The second pause was Kai!! I didnt even know it was him until I heard talking and didnt see Ruki on stage!! But Kai said, "i love new York!! I love you guys!! We are so excited to be here!!" And then he did a call and answer with us.

I SWEAR THEY ALL LOOKED AT ME LIKE 25 TIMES DURING THE LIVE. It was like they wanted to see EVERY FAN. They kept their eyes up and out to the crowd most of the time!

I TRIED to show them support but i also wanted to actually stand and WATCH. So I really only Committed to Ninth Odd Smell, UGLY, abhor god, and Filth in the Beauty. The rest I was more tame on cuz i wanted to SEE them. But all those songs get me HYYYYPE so i had to give it my all.

They played Suicide Circus again too!!!!! And Inside Beast this time!!!! Those were the two songs Melissa knows best so she got to hear stuff she enjoyed! Also, we made sure to watch Aoi in the second verse because he bowed most regally with his arm up and he twirled his wrist as he brought it down into the bow. Just like in the music video!!! It was AMAZING. SOOOOOOOOOOO COOL!!! And Ruki's rapping was SO COOL TO HEAR LIVE AGAIN. it was even better than last show!

ONE THING I always enjoyed was when Ruki adds a little improv to long outros. For Sono Koe Wa Moroku which is a slow ballad he added his own little wisps of vocals and screams which was so cool!!

They ended the set with filth in the Beauty and the crowd kept trying to call for encore but no one knew how to keep time so everyone kept thunderclapping instead of joining together in one voice.

One girl in the pit got on someone's shoulders and lifted her top and flashed the camera that was recording us. I couldnt tell if they kicked her out or not. All i remember thinking was "thats DEFINITELY not gonna make them wanna come on stage any sooner." Also no one crowd surfed that I saw like last show. And this girl behind us was yelling "WE /DESERVE/ AN ENCORE." which irritated melissa and i a bit. Like, bitch, no you dont deserve it. You deserve the OPPORTUNITY for it. What a gross fan. I hoped they werent VIP cuz I wouldnt want her to be a bad fan to them and say anything rude. When they did come on stage that girl was acting like she single-handedly brought them out on stage. She otherwise didnt bother us. We ignored her the rest of the time. She was gone from my mind in two seconds once they came back out.

They played 3 encore songs and ended with Tomorrow Never Dies!! Which is a good song to end on. It has a beautiful message of hope. Once it was over Ruki kept saying "thank you!!" And we'd answer with a cheer and he said "we will see you again real soon!! Good night, New York!!" And then as we filtered out they checked our wrist bands and we were allowed into the seating part to wait until they were ready for the meet and greet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They called row by row and we were in the middle of the last section so we scooted out and ran to the top. I wanted to be LAST FOR THE MEET AND GREET. And we ended up DEAD LAST. We were next to these girls who flew FROM JAPAN to see them. I would have liked to talk to them but I was so nervous to, so i just quietly listened to them converse in japanese.

When they called us we filed down! And we went thru these doors and there were small steps and THERE. THEY. WERE. right there!!! I saw Reita's mask and hair and my stomach dropped cuz it was ACTUALLY THEM. So melissa helped me get the poster out and I unfolded it and I get up to Aoi and I was so star struck I forgot EVERYTHING I was gonna say. But i saw him look down and see it and he said "oh wow!!! Design?" I couldnt even answer. The staff beside him thought I didnt understand so she said "he asked if you drew this." And i said "ohhh my god. Yes. Yes. Design. Yes." And he looked at me, IN MY EYES with these bright wide eyes and he said "thank you! So cool! Thank you" and he took my hands in his and we looked in each other's eyes and I saw warmth and love and dedication. Im sure he saw pure terror and awe in mine but we said thank you. I slide it down to Reita and i see him look down and his eye we could see through his mask, which up close almost looked like cloth and not plastic, got so big and he has a deeper voice so he just said "WOW!!" AND stared for a second and then he looked at me and said "you draw this??" And I still had no words so I just nodded and said "YES. YES. DRAWING." And we still held eyes and he said "this is amazing!!! Thank you so much!" And he took my hands in his and shook and we said thank you!! Then I slid it down to Ruki and OH MY GOD RUKI WAS PERFECT. From my peripheral i glimpsed aoi and reita following with their eyes. And ruki saw it and his face LIT UP and he said "WOW! YOU DREW THIS?!" And I found my words so I said "yes! Kakimashita! I drew this!!" And he pointed to himself and he smiled and said "I LIKE THIS!!!! I LIKE THIS!!!! THANK YOUU! THANK YOU!!!" and he grasped my hands in his and we shook and said thank you. Then I move to Kai and he says "HI!!!" AND I SAID "HELLO!!!!" and i show him and he SMILES SO BIG and he said "oh wow! A drawing!?" And I said "kakimashita! I drew this!" And he looked at me and said "its amazing!!! Good job!! Thank you!!" And his smile WAS EVEN BIGGER AND HE just MELTED MY HEART RIGHT THERE!!!!!!!!!!! AAHH!!! and he grasped my hands in his and shook and we ssaid thank you to each other and last was MY FAVORITE URUHA and let me tell you. He recently dyedd his hair blonde and I did not like it. It was cut like a bob and it was super "I wanna talk to your manager." Our ongoing joke was to call him Susan. But i saw HIM. AND HIM AND HIS HAIR WAS A FOOT AWAY FROM ME. AND HE LOOKED. BEAUTIFUL. IMMACULATE. I ALMOST HAD THE NERVE TO APOLOGIZE. But I showed him my poster. His reaction was my favorite. His eyes got real big and he said "ooooooooooooooohh!!!! Wow!!!!!!!" And i said "kakimashita!! I drew this!!" And he couldnt even speak he just kept saying "wow!!" And he looked at me and I looked at him and we shook hands and he took my hands in his and he said "thank you so much!" And I said "thank you!!!" And then i don't remember but i think uruha was still super close to me after we let go and i turned away and i think i turned back around and black out yelled "OMG YOURE MY FAVORITE." AND I think he smiled embarassed and said "thank you so much!" And then we tried to fenangle it back into the box and i caught the smallest glimpse of Aoi and Reita leaning over the table to look and see. Eventually we got the plastic on and the staff member said "ill take it." So we handed it over and then I both hand waved and said "BYEEE THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!" AND OH MY GOD ALL 5 OF THEM LEANED OVER AND LOOKED AT ME AND WAVED AND SAID "BYEE THANK YOUU!!" and then they gave us our VIP towels and we were told to scoot so we went down the hallway and out the door!! And that was IT!!!

I. MET. THE. GAZETTE.

This is what I gave to them and Showed them.

I. SHOWED. THEM. MY. ART.

THEY. LLLOOOVVVEEEDDD. MY. ART.

AS MELISSA SAID, "it was a Total Eclipse Of The Art."

MY BIGGEST DREAM CAME TRUE.

#the gazette #ruki #uruha #aoi #reita #kai #personal post #rantings #wt2019 #phase 4 #99.999 #nyc #ps theater #5/6/19

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fvthomsbclow · 5 years

Photo

COURTNEY EATON, GENDERFLUID, THEY/THEM. — looks like LUKE ANDERSEN is attending AURORIA UNIVERSITY in auradon. they're the TWENTY year old child of ARIEL & ERIC ( * adoptive ! ) , which means they're from ATLANTICA. heard they're HONEST & CRAFTY, but can also be EASILY DISTRACTED & SELF-SERVING ; we all have our bad days. people normally associate them with LOOSE WHITE SHIRTS BLOWING IN THE BREEZE, WHISPY BRAIDS OF DARK HAIR, STANDING ON A BEACH IN THE MIDDLE OF A STORM, CRASHING WAVES ALONG THE DECK OF A SHIP. — hylia, 9teen, est, she & they.

when i’m sad , oh god i’m sad , but when i’m happy, i am happy and there’s just no place in-between for us to meet. playlist. pinterest. to listen as you read.

howdy folks !! so my name is HYLIA , and I’m here to play the sailor datemate of my dreams , LUKE ANDERSEN. I’m still sort of getting the hang of them since they’re a very new character , so I’m sorry if this intro is all over the place !! No TWS for now save for mentions of death , the ocean , and drowning. Hopefully this isn’t too messy !

HISTORY

So Luke is adopted - the child of one of King triton’s servants who passed away from illness. Originally , Triton was going to take them in himself , but instead , Ariel volunteered to care for the little merbaby and raised them as her own. As a result , Triton gave Luke the ability to grow legs on dry land as well as a tail when touched by large amounts of saltwater.

But , they weren’t told of their true heritage as a child. So they believed they were a human for the longest time.

They grew up loving both of their parents to the max but it was DEFINITELY evident they took after Eric more so. They wanted to travel , wanted to explore - and their dad , with his ship and naval prowess , was their hero. So from a very young age , they would accompany their dad on his travels.

It went to the point in which they were taught to pilot a ship themselves - and they even asked for one for their sixteenth birthday. Nothing else , just a vessel of their own. And they got one , naming it The Queen Jocasta.

First voyage on The Queen Jocasta resulted in an attack by pirates - sixteen year-old Luke tossed off the side of the ship , thinking they were about to drown. But , that power they were unaware of for all this time shifted their legs into a tail , and at that point they realized , Wow , Mom and Dad really haven’t told me SHIT.

So that was when they were explained that yeah , they were originally born a mermaid , and yeah , they were royalty both on the surface and under the sea. And that prompted Luke to spend a year in the ocean to get to know their mother’s family - returning to the surface to finish their time in Auradon Prep afterwards. This meant they graduated a year later at nineteen.

And then when that was over , Luke decided ‘ hey, I’m gonna take a trip all around Auradon by BOAT ’ since... that’s their brand , and spent another year just sailing around the different parts of Auradon ( and on the outside of it ) for the fun of it. They’re only just now getting back to Auradon to attend Auroria.

PERSONALITY & FACTS

So one may describe Luke as an ‘old soul’ - they’re very laid back and relaxed , for the most part , keen on their interests and someone who really seems to know a lot beyond how old they are.

Extremely intelligent - there’s a rumor going around that Luke has an eidetic memory , but they won’t confirm or deny it. ( It’s true. )

OBVIOUSLY AGAIN, OCEAN CHILD. Luke loves the ocean and always hangs out on beaches or the docks if they’re not on their actual boat. Because Luke doesn’t have a dorm - no , Luke sleeps on The Queen Jocasta in their cabin. Captain’s quarters and all that.

They love traveling just for the sake of traveling , and they can read a map like it’s nobody’s business.

Big into the classics like art and music DESPITE the fact they can’t paint , draw - but they can carry a tune well and for that reason , they play guitar nicely.

Honestly they’re smart and into the classics and shit but also this can come off as slightly pretentious since they don’t hesitate to remind people how good of a thinker they are - they don’t say it , but they show it.

Also they know how to dance , taking ballet classes when they were younger !! It’s just not something they remind anyone of much.

One more class they took was swordfighting in attempts to learn how to defend themselves . . . and yes , they’re great at it. Scary great.

In terms of a more direct description of their PERSONALITY , Luke tends to approach situations with again , a very laid back attitude but also one that’s brutally honest. They will let you know if they’re pissed off with you and . . . do have a bit of a temper when their nerves are ticked. Luke’s also got a bit of a dangerous tendency to always think they’re on their own and look after number one ( themselves ) and forgets that they can lean on other people for help. This doesn’t mean they don’t care about their allies - no , they greatly care about them. But Luke’s sort of used to being a mysterious , aloof , brooding traveler that they often forget they now have people they can confide in.

They’ll do things that perk their interest - Luke really isn’t going to go out of their way for something unless there’s either something in it for them or they have a personal interest. Also , if they care for the person , but yeah.

There’s a slight cynical streak to them for no other reason than the fact they just always think they have to watch their back - and for the fact people have secrets , like their parents keeping the secret they were a mermaid for a good portion of their life.

I promise they’re not a conceited selfish prick Luke is just VERY . . . aloof. I know I said that before but they’re distant and sort of keep to themselves and what they want.

Their opinion on the villains and heroes coming together is that they really . . . couldn’t care less. They never were really one to focus too much on the Auradon vs. Isle debacle anyway , but also - they can understand why some VKs are pissed. BUT , since this is Luke we’re talking about - that doesn’t mean they’re going to be exceptionally nice to the villain kids , treating them the same as Auradonian kids - casually , trying to get a read on them , probably the same aloof & ‘I could care less’ demeanor they normally keep up.

Also I should mention !! Luke is genderfluid , preferring they/them pronouns like stated before - but when addressing them with their royal title , they prefer to be addressed by the title of Prince. But Captain is even more so preferred.

Captain Luke Andersen just sounds like BDE I’m ,

Listen I love them so much they’re the myserious captain datemate of my dREAAMS

WANTED PLOTS & CONNECTIONS

OKAY SO. When the main puts up their WC page I will be submitting this one but I’d love an ARRANGED MARRIAGE plot for Luke. Basically , arranged while Luke was away traveling - they could either already know this person or are just meeting them now , but they’re not too keen on the idea of arranged marriage but aren’t really doing anything to fight it since it is what it is. They can either get along or hate each other , be best buddies or the like , but I think it’d be so funny if Luke - a wayward soul - was supposed to be arranged to marry someone who always has to make sure they’re not getting into trouble or something since Luke . . . CANNOT stay in the same place. At all. Bonus if this person is super duper sweet and polite in contrast to Luke’s nature of being absolutely crass & unrefined.

Their fiance: I’m so sorry for them Luke: I’m not, peace sign + middle finger motherfucker

And if this evolves in2 an actual ship that’d b up to chemistry n shit but the main idea I had was just. An arranged marriage. Rly we can do whatever n I’d b cool w/ it.

I’d love a crew for them pls. Again - this can be with both Auradon and Isle kids , since Luke gives no shits , but I’d imagine there’s a few Auradon kids who’ve been with Luke for quite some time.

PIRATE RIVALS PLSSSSS bc I know some Isle kids are pirates and that’s B^) juicy shit 2 me.

In general I’d just rly like some friends who try to get past Luke’s aloof & distant & brooding(tm) nature and let them b... soft n stuff.

also friends in general?? great. gimme soft platonic shit bc mgod thats what gets me all the damn time

if there are some royal kids out there who wanna bfriend luke’s ass since childhood n will stick w/them... give it to me.

Flings that Luke’s had either traveling or also just in Auradon in general bc uh yeah they’re lowkey a huge flirt

not 2 be THAT guy but Luke is a dreamboat haha... hahaha...

please clap

first love !! maybe !! idk sb who definitely luke had a thing 4 but it got lost in luke being. well. luke.

“my only love is the sea” stfu

gimmE SOME ENEMIES

AURADON KID ENEMIES

ISLE KID ENEMIES

PPL WHO THINK LUKE IS A FUCKIN PRETENTIOUS DICK BC THEY ARE

PPL WHO ONLY WANNA SEE THEM CRASH N BURN

FRIENDSHIPS THAT TURNED HOSTILE BC AGAIN, LUKE IS... LUKE.

PPL WHO HAVEN’T LIKE LUKE SINCE CHILDHOOD N THEY’VE ALWAYS GOTTEN INTO FIGHTS AND STUFF

I’m so bad writing wcs so maybe one day I’ll sit down and write formal connections so yeah.

BUT YEAH THAT’S IT !! pls pls pls feel free to either like this or hmu for plotting - I highly suggest contacting me on Discord ( rocky lynch lovebot / hylia.#0329 ) bc I’m always on Discord but Tumblr works too !! I promise u guys I don’t bite. I love u all I’m so excited 4 this !!! :^)

#usoa:intro #* &. abt / ☆ ❛ ɪɴ ᴍʏsᴛᴇʀɪᴏᴜs ғᴀᴛʜᴏᴍs ʙᴇʟᴏᴡ ❜#tht reminds me i gotta #do tags #whOOPS.#drowning mention #ocean tw #death mention

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ofcowardiceandkings · 5 years

Text

okay guys this is a Weird Thing but we’re kinda stuck for what to do about it and this is a good a place to ask as any so some advice would be helpful

cw for discussion of potential child abuse / neglect ???

okay so um, As Said Previously, we (myself and tomás @flippwizard) moved out of my parents house a short while ago into a (good) shoebox of a maisonette beneath a flat , this is all good thats fine its going well etc but the walls and ceilings arent ?? amazing for sound dampening lets just say and that means to the flat above as well ... we dont know that they know we can hear basically everything above indoor voices in their place either

also as a general thing we’ll say that we both have anxiety that gets pretty bad at times , and while we obvs dont have kids and dont have a huge amount of experience with younger children when we were old enough to like Get It , we do Know some shit about how parents behaviour affects children hm

weve never actually met our upstairs neighbours or even seen them tbh , especially since we work kind of weird hours , but id rather not at this point lol. all we know is theres at least 1 young kid and a woman who we think is the carer there. we THINK the kid is about 3 - 5, definitely not older than 5 unless he’s developmentally delayed in some way.

anyway, pretty much every day at least once, and often earlier in the morning or later at night - which is LATE for normal people bc tomás finished work at midnight - we hear said woman full volume shouting in a very aggressive and kind of erratic way at the child, often involving some stomping and clattering around. we’ll say up front we dont think theres any heavy physical abuse happening but i wouldn’t be surprised if there was a slap or two ...

like, to start with shouting at a kid and especially a young kid is NOT gonna be very helpful , and honestly it ALWAYS sounds like its over something incredibly pointless. really sounds like some classic ‘please get some anger management’ stuff ... todays example literally half an hour ago “go find your dummy! i told you go find it! youre not listening!” or something to that effect. im fairly sure ive heard “shut up” a fair few times as well. theres no or very little swearing, but at the same time i swear a lot but id never swear AT someone without a gooooood reason and especially not a child. also, the amount of times “Go away” gets yelled at this kid feels very concerning lol , like either a kid wants something or is bored (ie wanting entertainment) at that age, jus fuckin look after the kid or find someone else to do it if youre busy ...

and second off im getting a bit speculative here but it kind of worries me how much said kid DOESNT cry after being spoken to like that , like damn if it was me i would DIE , and when we actually have heard him actually cry anymore than kind of a screech it comes in a stompy gap that could POSSIBLY be slap-related. this is just a guess of course but that bit feels real weird ,, when he does cry - at least audibly - its only for a few seconds as well which also feels odd

so like .. Obviouslyyyy, we feel incredibly uncomfortable about this and it can get pretty upsetting ... aside from not very ?? idk socially considerate i guess ?? one of the reasons it sticks out so much is because it often happens when we’re still trying to sleep on account of working weird hours ..... so for the past month or so ive been wondering about it on and off probably a bit much because what do you even do , and we didnt want to be Those Interfering New Neighbours and if we actually said anything directly were not sure how petty they would be about it esp living in such close quarters BUT today was the last focking straw

starting from just past 9 on a friday and continuing for a good half an hour or so at least where we can hear it in both rooms of the ground floor (tomás has a hell cold so got up to lurk on the sofa while i was still trying to sleep), and said yelling and stomping was telling a child explicitly young enough to have a dummy/pacifier to go and find it and to go away with some added crying ?? nope

so uh .. what would you think was the best thing to do ???? we’d rather remain anonymous because of the above mentioned not wanting drama or pettiness but weve had enough of not knowing what to do about it because its really quite distressing :’/

ofc theres the nspcc but we’re not sure how much they can do with only the scant information we actually HAVE ....... another idea would be to ask the council about antisocial behaviours because like i said its really quite bothersome and the very loud stairs stomping / movement around the flat and the shitty bland rap music played loudly during the day isnt GREAT either (weve noticed this shit more right now because we’re both sick & at home) idk like ANY idea would be nice, we’d rather not have to put a letter through their door asking to please be careful since we’re both ill and work shitty hours but honestly ive been so close to just finding the broom and banging the ceiling for the past few days lol

so .. yeah uh thats that i guess >:’/

#if you reblog this i will piss on your sofa #for mobile or w/e this is under a read more #rory's ramblings #child abuse ment #abuse ment

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the-trth-untold · 5 years

Note

now its ur turn. do all of the sweetheart asks.

god jsjsjhdjk im just letting u kno these answers r gonna be BORING but hhhh THANK U

1. Talk about your first love.

i’ve never been in love, never been in a relationship before. BUT i can vaguely remember my first crush back in 2nd grade. all i can remember was that his name was kyle and he was the only boy who ever spoke to me and my brain just went !!!

2. What’s the most beautiful song you’ve ever heard in your opinion?

Break My Heart Again - FINNEAS or What Was Our Love All About - Adrian Milanio and Marylou Villegas

these are just two that i can think of there are A LOT of beautiful songs

3. How’s your heart feeling right now?

fine??

4. What kind of self care is your favorite to do?

i dont really do any self care things??

5. What’s your skincare routine?

i dont do any skincare routines either... ik im a monster

6. How did you get to be so beautiful?

u must be blind if u think that

7. Do you have any stuffed animals?

i used to have over 50 stuffed animals, i would always place them all over my bed neatly but i got rid of them now :(

8. Best trip you’ve ever been on?

Myrtle Beach, SC because it was my first vacation spot and i was so happy seeing two dolphins close to the shore

9. Favorite thing about your room?

the color of my walls and blankets lol mint green and peach colors

i dont have anything cool in my room

10. Opinion on love?

i mean, it’d be nice to experience it some day and i hope i do but right now im content being by myself

11. Are you affectionate?

if i know you very well i can be, if not im very awkward and will barely make any eye contact with you

12. Who do you look up to?

i look up to people who have struggled a lot in their life, people who can be optimistic in any situation

13. Favorite poet?

i dont read much poetry, but i loved reading some things Emily Dickinson has published

14. Song that makes you happy? How about one that calms you down when you’re in a bad place?

honestly any disney song makes me happy! im a huge disney nerd and listening to any of those songs makes me feel nostalgic.

when im in a bad place, any slow, ballad sounding song can calm me down

15. Do you play an instrument?

i played the flute in middle school but dropped it after less than a week LOL

16. Do you do art? Using what (pencil, watercolor, etc)?

i like doing digital art but im not good at it and i dont have adobe illustrator anymore so i haven’t done anything recently

17. Do you dance? What style of dance?

i cannot dance and no one will make me

IM TOO EMBARRASSED EVEN IF IM ALONE HAHAHA

18. What’s your zodiac sign? Do you believe in astrology?

im a libra

i somewhat believe in astrology, i know there’s more to it than just your sun sign and there are different placements that make you different from the stereotypical traits people use for each sign

a lot of the “things about each sign” can be used for anyone because the responses can be very vague and many people can relate to

19. Favorite old film?

too many

the shining, the breakfast club, carrie, pretty in pink, etcetcetc

20. What’s your hairstyle?

idk its a mess

curly/wavy and i have hardcut bangs

21. What weather is the most beautiful, in your opinion?

fall weather, where its like 50 F (or 10 C for all u weirdos out there), cold enough to put on a flannel and boots

22. What upsets you most about the world?

i only have two hands but there are so many cats and dogs. i cannot pet all of them. (IM SORRY THIS WAS UR ANSWER DASHA BUT IM KEEPING IT ITS SO CUTE AND FUNNY AND I RELATE)

23. Are you in love right now?

24. Do you have a crush? If so, talk about them!

i dont have a crush lol

25. Do you have pets? Talk about something sweet about them!

yes!!! i have two gorgeous puppies!!! if u wanna check them out u can follow my instagram i post them all the time @ the.moon.atomic

they’re such dorks but they fit my household idk how to describe it they just belong in my house hahha

26. Do you have a lucky number?

i dont really believe in lucky numbers

27. Have you ever wished on a star? What about on a fallen eyelash?

no, and i never heard about wishing on a fallen eyelash haha

28. Do you believe emoji spells to work?

no???????? i dont even know what that is

29. Do you believe in magic in general?

30. What’s the most beautiful thing in life, In your opinion?

when people finally stop hiding their true selves, show their real smiles, and laugh so hard they snort

idk i just love people, well, most anyway sjsjhzjdsk

31. Opinion on the color pink? What about baby blue?

love them

theyre such pure colors and they just remind me of newborn babies hahaha

32. What instrumental sound is your favorite?

piano definitely

33. Do you like the sound of wind? What about the sound of rain?

yes! yes to both! i love rain more though, sorry wind

34. Who makes you happy?

my friends, family, and my mutuals

35. What makes you happy?

listening to music

36. Imagine your ideal life, the life you wish to make, what will that look like?

ohh well i’d be living on germany for starters hahaha

id like to have my own house, maybe living with a best friend

definitely like 5784538902 cats and dogs, i love them

at some point id like to have a relationship LOL

37. Do you wear makeup? If so what’s your favorite type of makeup or specific makeup product? Favorite store to buy makeup?

only on rare days ill put on makeup, i only use eyeshadow, liner, and mascara and ive never gone to a store thats just for make up, i just go to a pharmacy lol

38. Do you wear dresses? If so what’s your favorite dress you own?

only if i absolutely have to, the dress i wore for my senior pictures is my favorite

39. Ever been heartbroken? How do you deal with it?

noo, ive never been in a relationship

40. Who’s your closest friend? What do you love about them?

i kinda really dont have one, not irl anyway

@neo-bangtan @mini-pretzel are my closest friends online, i love everything about u guys

41. Introvert or extrovert?

introvert

42. Do you like MBTI? What’s your MBTI?

im isfj

43. Would you be a fairy, a mermaid, a vampire, a siren, or an angel?

uh idk?? i wouldnt want to be immortal so

44. What’s the best song a friend has ever introduced to you?

acid jazz singer - the fratellis

45. Parlez-vous français?

no my french sucks

46. Most beautiful place you’ve been to?

honestly i cant think of any place pennsylvania sucks ahhaha

47. Where/when do you truly feel at home?

home...... my bed...... LOL

48. Does smiling put you in a better mood? Try it right now, you’re smile is gorgeous!

only if im not looking at myself lol

49. Favorite shoe you own?

slip ons or my new balance

50. Can you walk in stilettos? Do you like them?

N O i am so accident prone i can barely walk barefoot without tripping

51. Do you feel loved?

kinda? sometimes?

52. How do you express love to those you care about?

just giving them a hug lol or saying i love you

53. Favorite term(s) of endearment?

no ones ever called me any but i like baby, im a simple girl

54. Most romantic thing someone’s ever done for you?

nothing?

55. When is the happiest you’ve ever been?

meeting new people who share the same interests

56. Are you happy right now?

im pretty neutral atm

57. What makes you smile?

really awful jokes that ARENT EVEN FUNNY AND TALKING DASHA AND KARINA

58. Do you laugh a lot?

i guess??

59. What’s your favorite kind of aesthetic?

soft vibes i guess haha

60. Do you want to marry for love or for some other reason (like money)?

i dont see myself marrying but if i would it would definitely be for love

61. What would your dream wedding look like? Do you want to get married?

i dont really want to get married, most of the time it ends in divorce and theres just a lot of paper work and its a hassle i dont see a point in it

62. Favorite flower?

hydrangeas

63. Favorite artist?

edgar degas

64. Favorite music artist?

bts lol

65. How kind do you think you are? Is kindness important to you?

i try to be kind to everyone, i dont know if others perceive me that way but i think kindness is very important to me

66. Ever made a playlist for someone?

once and i loved it, pls ask me to make a playlist for u

67. Do you have anything you do to physically comfort you when your sad? Such as a favorite blanket? Or a relaxing bath?

music and a soft blanket

68. Early bird or night owl?

early bird

69. Morning routine?

wake up, look in the mirror, look away from the mirror, go back to bed. (AGAIN THIS IS UR ANSWER DASHA BUT IM KEEPING IT HHAHAHAHA)

70. Night routine?

shower and watch netflix until i fall asleep

71. What is the most lovely quality a person could have in your opinion?

being humble

72. Do you cry often? Does crying help you get the emotions out? Do you feel better after?

yes yes and yes

im such a cry baby i will cry at everything if u yell at me or if disappoint u im so sensitive

73. Do you like hugs?

yes but i dont receive many hugs

74. When was the last time you kissed someone?

never

75. Are you small or tall?

small, 5′4 or 164cm

76. Do you like wholesome memes?

who doesnt

77. Favorite thing about the past?

anything that makes me feel nostalgic

78. Do you ever wonder about the future?

yes

79. Have you ever lived in a different country than you currently live in?

nooo

80. Do you like plane flights? Airports?

ive never been on a plane

81. Sunrises or sunsets?

sunsets

82. The beach or a forest?

beach

83. What time of day do you tend to be in the best mood?

when im sleeping lol

84. Do you push yourself to act together and in a good mood even when you aren’t?

i try to

85. Favorite kind of tree?

what kind of question is this i dont know anything about trees

86. Do you care about the health of the Earth?

i want to but i dont do anything for it

87. What did you like most about your childhood, if anything?

fieldtrips in school

88. Do you read a lot? What’s your favorite book?

i try to read more, my favorite book is more happy than not

89. What are you most nostalgic for at the moment?

disney, i just put my christmas tree down and the ornaments are disney characters

90. What’s your favorite personality trait you have?

honesty i guess?

91. List at least ONE thing you love about your appearance.

my eyes

92. When was the last time you truly felt calm, without much of anything to worry about?

after i bathe

93. Do you worry a lot?

yes all the time

94. The dazzling lights of the city or the relaxing countryside?

dazzling lights of the city

95. Ever changed the shoelaces on one of your shoes? For what reason?

96. Favorite pastry?

??????????? i dont know??????????

97. Do you like doing little acts of kindness?

YEAH

98. How’s your day/night going?

fine so far, i dont have to work today so im just chillaxing

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ac-ars · 6 years

Text

3 times Matteo distracted Luna unintentionally and one time he did it on purpose

hi its been a little, ive been drowning in work and cold, but thats not the topic

exactly two years ago, this bitch came to soy luna fandom and she wrote a fic exactly with this title and the very same plot, but today she is here with the version that is actually not as cringy, so lets enjoy this

yeah its been two years of me spamming you with my shit yall

(this is s1 in case you need to know)

🌙

3 times Matteo distracted Luna unintentionally and one time he did it on purpose

She finds it weird. Weird, and strange, and suspicious. Having him always there, somewhere in the background or passing by randomly, always when she is talking to someone or zoning out, deep in her thoughts. She wonders if it’s something new, or if she just started noticing it now, recently. If she started paying attention to his person more than before. Or maybe he simply decided it’s time to creep around her, or maybe she is just paranoid.

Ambar is whiny again, moving her hands wildly in the air, huffing and flipping her hair back. Luna just lets her keep this steady face while trashing her, and honestly the brunette doesn’t care. She just happened to be in the bad place at wrong time, overhearing some shady shit Ambar was talking about someone and Jazmin noticed Luna behind the back of annoyed blonde. Now she has to listen whole long lecture about how she needs to learn to mind her own business and not put her nose where she shouldn’t.

Luna doesn’t care at all, she literally just wants to go home, change and run to Roller, but apparently life is testing her and her next obstacle is Ambar with Jazmin, standing in her way on the hallway. She doesn’t want to be rude or mean, and she doesn’t interrupt the blonde and at first focuses on Jazmin, who with crossed arms very seriously keeps nodding her head at every word her /friend/ says.

When it’s too much for Luna to manage watching the girls, she moves her eyes somewhere around so it doesn’t look like she is ignoring the drama, she searches for a thing that catches her eyes and oh boy, this boy definitely is a good thing to stare at, while ignoring drama.

He is leaning against the wall casually, having some ugly, fat book in his hands, his long legs in those dark uniform pants. Luna hums tiny, definitely liking what she sees, and takes her eyes higher, very grateful to the person who invented school uniform, or at least here in Blake, because damn this jacket on his shoulders and around his arms is having her at least messy. If it weren’t Matteo Balsano she would have thought he is hot.

She licks her lips a little with tiny sigh, until someone waves their hand in front of her face and Luna pouts in the first instinct, but then stops as soon as possible, seeing this dramatic wrinkle on Ambar’s forehead.

“Lunita, are you even listening, or you are just taught to listen only when you aren’t supposed to?” Smith rolls her eyes, talking probably too loudly if Luna were the one to judge

“What?” She asks and Ambar huffs offended before flipping her hair once again.

Jazmin half shuts her eyes, making her eyelids flutter angrily. “You weren’t listening, were you?” she asks and Luna wants to answer something, she doesn’t know what yet, but before she manages, the blonde speaks instead. “We will finish this conversation at home. Be careful for next time and try to not make any mess.”

Ambar leaves and Luna just watched her storming quickly and Jazmin running after her awkwardly. Great.

She is sitting with Nina in the Roller and trying to somehow do their physics homework. Or more like trying to do Luna’s, because Nina has her done and since they got different exercises, it’s even worse. Except that the day is very nice, the place is chill since most of the people decided to stay outside because of the weather.

Nina is explaining some weird thing about gravity, which actually makes sense for few first minutes, Luna manages to listen and get all of what her friend is saying right now and showing on the pictures from the book. Everything is amazing, yet only until she catches some laugh, very familiar laugh and the endlessly curious part of her just looks at the direction said laugh came from.

He is there again, entering the cafeteria with Gastón, laughing at something, maybe a joke or a meme. Luna likes his laugh, and she also likes him laughing. He always has those shining eyes and this one single dimple in his cheek, the sound of his laugh makes her relaxed and she always wonders why he is only rarely like this with her, why does he always have to tease her and fresa around.

Their eyes cross for a moment, and he smiles, making her smile back and look at the book again with tiny blush, because she isn’t sure if he knows he just caught her at staring, and they are only friends, so staring isn’t a friends thing.

She can feel that he is still gazing at her and when she tries to check after a moment, there is paper sheet covering him and Luna guesses it’s study time again.

“Luna, what are you doing?” Nina asks a little amused, the brunette judges that her friend knows who she was looking at. “Tell me you understood at least a beginning.”

Luna smiles and nods. “Yeah, the beginning yes and a part of the middle, are we gonna continue now?”

Nina shrugs and takes a sip of her smoothie. “I think we should have a break.”

Today is the Simón day. They hang out at first after her school and make some Mexican food with her mom, then they go to the Roller and sing something, and now they are on the rink, trying to get some new choreography for the team, and in general she loves him so much it hurts. Or no, it doesn’t hurt. Loving Simón could never, ever hurt her.

He is telling her about Rollerband’s songs that they have written, currently planning some video. She couldn’t be happier that he found here friends who have the same dream about making music, who help him make it all happen.

Actually right now it’s her working time, she is supposed to make sure no one kills themselves while trying to make a spin, or just get on the skates, and the one dying today will be Luna Valente herself, because he is again in the same place as she is, and he looks so good her face is already getting warm.

Ramiro is showing off currently, jumping on one skate and telling something to Matteo, she can’t really catch what, but the latter repeats exactly what his curly-haired friend just did, and this smug smirk is having Luna dying already.

It’s time for Matteo to do some fancy and impressive shit, and she just skates around backwards before jumping so he is skating forwards now and she knows that he didn’t get the king of the rink title without a reason.

Not to mention this soft, lavender shirt, that must be new, because she hasn’t seen this one yet, with rolled up sleeves and first buttons undone. His hair is kinda messy, untidy like someone brushed their fingers through it few times and Luna guesses that Matteo did it himself, after jumping and skating around. When Ramiro tries to do the same, Balsano looks at Luna and smiles, call her dramatic but the world stops, so she smiles back at him while taking strand of her hair behind her ear. It falls back, and he raises his eyebrow before winking at her and turning away and she sighs.

“Luna, do you think it’s a good idea?” Simón asks her and she notices he asks, and that he is expecting an answer now with this puppy smile and hopeful shine in his eyes.

“Yes, he is perfect.” She says, not really caring what exactly.

He frowns at her and touches her shouldr. “What? Who?”

She almost chokes now because this woke her up and he is waiting for her to say something and confirm or deny that she is mentally ill.

“No, I mean I’m perfect, I mean I’m okay and the idea it’s nice, it should work.”

Simón sends her lazy smile, this one saying that he has seen through her bullshit and knows what happened, and why and yet he will just let her get away with it, that’s how much of a best friend he is.

“Okay, I hope you don’t mind me going to the boys now, but if I won’t tell them the idea now later I will forget it, we both know this.”

She nods smiling and lets him kiss her cheek, and as soon as he is gone she sighs covering her face with her hands. She will die soon in some way and she kinda can’t wait for it.

+1/

Luna has never thought that this day would ever come, but yet here she is in her bedroom, sitting on her bed, surrounded by the books and next to her is sitting very focused and very casual Matteo Balsano. Yeah, the one you all know and you’ve hear of. He is here, because they needed to study and he said it would be chiller at her place. Her parents actually did let them go upstairs, only if they will leave the door open, but still.

It’s not like something would ever happen here.

He, as the smart astronomy creep guy he is, is explaining her some differences between the planet and planetoid. She is still a little surprised with every chance she gets to experience how much of a nerd this boy is, how he talks using fancy book words, but in the way that she understands, he makes it easy to get and remember and she hopes he will have some free time before the finals.

So now she is using her chance to be able to focus only on him, to watch his mouth as he is reading from the book and telling her about the picture on the paper, she is using it because she doesn’t need to explain why is she like that and it’s just a perfect chance. If she has to be honest she already knows that planetoid is just an asteroid, though he seems so happy that he is able to talk something about space and cosmos she will let him talk as much as he wants to.

His voice is calm, and soft like quiet music, maybe a little rough at the same time, and it’s definitely nice change that he isn’t making fun of her. It’s a rare thing, so Luna definitely appreciates this, thinking that it’s maybe very special moment, her parents won’t really try to interrupt them so they are alone and it’s just so nice.

“What’s on your mind, delivery girl?” he asks with different voice, a little curious.

“It’s nothing, mostly planetoids,” she says, probably blushing a little and most likely this sold her, because he smiles. “I think it’s something very different.”

“Stop being a snob, Matteo and teach me how to be smart.”

He laughs at this, a little louder than normal chuckle and she can only laugh with him and relax her muscles. Balsano pokes her on the rib and sighs. “There is not much to do, and this is an important thing, so let’s do it quickly and get over it. What do you think?”

Luna pouts tiny, because if he says something is important, then it’s probably difficult as well and she doesn’t wanna difficult. “Okay. But later cookies.”

“Yes cookies,” he nods smiling. “But for now you gotta come over here and see the picture in the book.” So she does, she does sit next to him humming and looking at the pretty, colorful picture, the colors are so nice and she doesn’t really think of the shape itself.

It’s too hard for her, too hard to have to focus on important stuff when her brain doesn’t wanna. Like she knows that she has to do this, and she will probably never have as good teacher as this boy next to her, but at the same time this is very unfair that she ended up with him, because she wants to focus on him, on the way their knees are touching, how his voice gets a little messy when she moves a little closer to see better in the book, how the air is heavy and she can’t breathe without taking in his smell into her lungs.

He is too close for her to stay sane, to be able to study anything except the light brown flakies in his eyes, she isn’t sure if they have always been there, because his eyes are brown, yes, but from this distance Luna is able to see how the shape of one of his irises isn’t really perfectly round, and that the closer to the edge it’s darker brown. She wouldn’t be able describe the picture from the book she was looking at like a minute ago, but she would write few page long essay about his look, and this just shows how big her problem is. Also, she wants those long, long lashes of his.

Now to stop being a creep Luna takes her look somewhere else, to his lips, a little chapped and pale, moving since he is talking all the time. He is probably saying something important, something she should memorize and be able to write on the test, but it’s too much for her brain now. She knows how his lips are against hers after this competition when he kissed her only for the choreography, but she really would love to check again.

He sighs and bites on his lower lip, most likely doing it on purpose and this wakes her up. Of course he kows she has been staring and she hates him for that.

Luna quickly jumps with her look to his eyes, directed at her face and she can’t move away even if she wanted. But she doesn’t want to move away, and a second later she actually can’t, because his hand is on her waist, pulling her to him as he presses his lips to hers. Without hesitation Luna rests her fingers on the nape of his neck so she can make sure he won’t run away or think she doesn’t want to kiss him this time, and he smiles against her mouth, which is kinda annoying. At this point she actually doesn’t mind him being an ass and distracting her like this today.

#soy luna #lutteo #my writing

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wallysbestie · 6 years

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Question Tag

So I was tagged by both @felegs and @stayuwu to do the 11 Question tag and a different one but ill probably make that its own post as well so minimize the size on these but yeah im gonna go ahead and just answer their question together and then,,, i dont know if ill be tagging people ill decide at the end lmao

but yeah ill put it under a read more because i dont want yall to deal with my long ramblings. if you just want my questions and want to ignore all my answer than just scroll to the very bottom!

Stayuwu’s Questions:

Are you a daydreamer? If so, what do you dream about?

I am~ I typically day dream about fic ideas like how I would imagine them to pan out or if I’m in class then I’ll typically day dream about this is nerdy as hell let me be how like the psych topics were learning about could be panned out in a story like we learned about this specific condition in my cog class and i just immediately wrote the concept into a fic story lmao

What’s your favorite place in the world?

mmm depends. at home its the beach but specifically this beach by my house because its a very calm beach that also has a super cute little center with small local shops and stuff and minimal seagulls hate those fuckers but here at school its my departments building because every floor has a big staircase thats dark and quiet and has huge windows facing the forest and the other side has a balcony facing the campus and you can see the ocean if youre high enough and its just hgvfsd i love

What’s home to you?

not be like,,, cliche i guess but like,,, i dont? think i have one? i dont like feeling tied down so i dont typically think of anywhere as “home”

This is not a question but quote a vine.

shawty i dont... mind

Grey’s anatomy or House?

House hands down i watched grey’s for a while growing up and its just,,, too much lmao house is so dark and unapologetic and i love it

Do you have any pets?

i have one (1) dumb dog that i love so much and can never stop talking about to showing off photos about

What kind of friend are you? (You know, the mom friend, the meme friend, etc).

the distant mom friend

Do you hate someone? If so, why?

nah i dont have the energy to give someone that type of passion. im more of the if you fuck me over ill completely cut you out of my life within a blink of an eye type of cap not the ill hold a grudge against you type of cap

What’s your dream job?

working in a hospital with kids with mental disorders and terminal illnesses

What MCU character resembles you the most? (not physically, more like mentally and emotionally).

i,,,, dont know??? i know mayhaps 3 characters from MCU and thats only through like 1 or 2 movies lmao

I won’t use this eleven question as an actual question, use your right to answer to this to talk about whatever the fuck you want. Rant, fangirl, talk about what you did today or yesterday or whatever. Just talk.

last night i went to sleep at like 1 am which is the earliest ive slept in so damn long and yet my body still decided it needed 12 hours of sleep. 12 hours? in this economy? please we dont have time for that i have articles to read

My Moon’s Questions:

what’s one thing that helps you relax?

being cold and listening to music helps me a lot so if im like freaking out or super upset ill usually go outside and either sit on the stair case or go walk around especially at night

what’s your favorite novel and author?

mmm its not a novel but my favorite short story that I’ve ever read is What We Talk About When We Talk About Love (but the original version) by Raymond Carver

are you an affectionate person? if so, how do you show affection?

kinda? I’m not a big fan of pda so the most I’ll do is like give hugs or if its something real special like my sun or my ex roommate then I’ll give them kisses on the cheek or forehead but aside from that I’m more of a silent affectionate person who will just like,,, pat your arm or bring you some water when I know you need it

are you an early bird or a night owl?

oh definitely a night owl whether I want to be or not lmao

if you’re comfortable with it, do you have a song you connect to something or someone, and if so, what is it?

mmm I have a lullaby that when my best friend moved back to their home state, they had me listen to it because they knew I was going through a really hard time and wasn’t not like,, in the safest of spots and I remember crying for like a solid 30 minutes and like even now to this day if I’m in a really bad spot I’ll listen to that song and just think about my best friend and like it just gives a small hope that things will be okay again

if you could go back to a place you’ve been to before, where would it be?

Florence, Italy the only place I’ve actually felt safe ironically considering its hours away from anything I could ever consider home

what does your favorite piece of clothing - that you own yourself - look like?

i have a shirt from this show that i love so much to the point my aunt stole it and hid it somewhere so now i have no idea where it is and will likely never get it back :’)

who’s your bias and why?

hgfds i have too many biases this is hard but uh honestly most of my biases are such for the same reason that being that they’re very strong capable people who have been through hell and back adn yet still always find a reason to bounce back and give life their all (ex: Yongguk, Young K, Taeyong, Bang Chan, Hanbin, Amber)

do you believe in luck and miracles?

finding you was a miracle but aside from that not really? i like the concept of them but i dont actually believe in them. i believe things happen for a reason yknow

what’s your favorite type of decorations?

christmas lightssss i own so many omg i think i have like,,, 8 strands with me currently?? with only 2 not being put up on some wall??

do you prefer being outside or inside?

definitely outside which is funny because I’m inside so much but I love going out adventuring and just being a menace to society tbh

My Questions:

What’s the “weirdest” song that stands out from your library?

Do you have a piece of clothing or jewelry that you hold dearly?

Have you ever gotten something autographed? How’d you get it?

What concert/festival did you really want to go to this year but had to miss?

What’s the hardest thing for you to do alone?

Would you rather stay in your hometown for the rest of your life but have everyone you love and appreciate live near you or move to your dream location and have a stable life but leave everyone you know behind?

Favorite thing to do during this lovely month of Halloween?

Are you a trick or treating kind of person or someone who would rather hand out the candy?

Do you have any crazy Halloween stories? Break into anything? Throw an insane party? Spill.

What’s the craziest thing you’ve done that when you look back you;re just like “wow who possessed me and made me do that?”

If you could spend a date night on Halloween and just eat candy and watch horror movies, which idol would you want to do it with?

Can you tell I’m excited for Halloween? it was hard to not make all 11 of these spooky themed lmao but anyways let’s get to tagging

@newkids-thefinal @gayforjiwon @tangerine-jinani @taecheeks @devilji @kxmwoojxn @junheeart @kuromatoki @minhosgf @shen-anakins @minbebee @mias97

#kjhbiunoji this took so damn long #i almost just closed the tab and said fuck this tag #who wouldve thought 22 questiosn would take almsot a full hour #im bad at putting my thoughts into words lmao #this post was also so fucking long i had to go back an edit a lot of it #oops #tagged

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deathisonlypermanent · 6 years

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We’ve Only Just Begun Pt4: Together

Watching the Signs Along the Way Talking It Over Just The Two Of Us Working Together Day To Day Together (You are here)

Peter Parker x Reader Rating: PG-13 for cursing wc: 2267

Previously on We’ve Only Just Begun:

“Oh, hey, what are you guys doing for New Year’s Eve? I’m having a party and I would love if you guys could come.” (Y/N) casually invited Peter and Ned.

“I’d love to come!” Ned said immediately.

“I’ll ask May, but it sounds like fun.” Peter smiled at (Y/N).

“Cool! I’m actually about to head out, but let me know!” (Y/N) called as she exited the cafeteria.

“Peter, this is the perfect time to confess your feelings!” Ned practically shouted at Peter.

“What are you talking about? That’s a terrible idea.”

“Then Spidey up! There’s no way she’ll say no if you’re Spider-Man!”

“No, Ned.”

But Peter couldn’t help but think that it was a good idea...

We continue:

As New Year’s Eve crept closer and closer, (Y/N) got more and more nervous. She had been planning on confessing her feelings to Peter at this party, but the more she thought about it, the more she thought it was an absolutely terrible idea. What-if scenarios kept her up at night. What if he didn’t feel the same and it ruined her only good friendship? What if she never confessed her feelings and never got to know whether or not her and Peter were meant to be? But what if he liked her back? What would she do then? She’d never been in a relationship before and had no idea how to function in one.

Before she knew it, it was the day of the party. She quickly opened her phone to shoot a text to her, Peter, and Ned’s group chat.

From: You To: Apple Bottom Jeans (boots w the fur)🍎🍎

See you guys at 8?

(Y/N) couldn’t help but think of the day they came up with the ridiculous name. They were all at their respective homes rapidly changing the name of the group chat to equally ridiculous -- and occasionally offensive -- names. It was stupid, but fun. “(y/n) sucks” “Peters left pinky” “Neds gay for flash” (This one prompted an immediate response from both Ned and Peter saying “thats not even funny” and “he wishes”). It had settled down after a couple minutes, everyone had ran out of funny ideas, so (Y/N) suggested that everyone hit paste and send whatever it was.

(Y/N): ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Ned: Martha was ugly like a shaven baboon,

So she wrapped herself up in a curtain cocoon.

And after a week, she finally emerged,

She smelled like wet garbage, what a psycho.

But Peter...he had a link to the song Apple Bottom Jeans by T-Pain.

And it was almost....too good. (Y/N) and Ned refused to let it go, changing the group chat to “Apple Bottom Jeans (boots w the fur)” every time Peter tried to change it to anything else. Eventually, he gave up and left it like that -- (Y/N) and Ned sent confetti with their next few messages out of sheer excitement.

(Y/N) was pulled out of her sentimental flashback by a buzz.

From: Peter To: Apple Bottom Jeans (boots w the fur)🍎🍎

Ya ill see you then :)

His text brought a small smile to her face. He wasn’t even trying but he did it anyway. God, he’s just so cute. (Y/N) thought for a moment before her anxiety came back, full swing. Why does anxiety exist? It was understandable in caveman days because they were prey, but now there’s just a teenage girl hoping to find the courage to confess her feelings.

The human brain sucks. She thought with disdain as she slipped her phone into her back pocket and made her way to the party in her kitchen/living room. There was already family there that her parents had insisted come early so they could get drunk together before the kids got there.

Her home was never this crowded, people sat all around their table and nearly every seat on the couch was taken. (Y/N) wouldn’t consider her family upper-middle class, but they certainly lived in a nicer apartment in Queens. It was a three bedroom apartment, with a room for her, her brother, and her parents. Her living room didn’t have a wall separating her kitchen so the edge of the couch served as a sort of barrier. The entire place was decorated, not only with New Year decorations, but with pictures of her family. The kitchen cabinets were covered in pictures of (Y/N)’s childhood, framed photos of relatives she’s never met and people she’s spent her entire life with covered the walls, and it made her feel happy. If she ever felt down, she only had to look around and see all the people that would support her no matter what. And, right now, she needed support.

Ned, Peter, and May arrived at 7:55, which absolutely delighted (Y/N). She greeted them and invited them in, giving them all year 2000 glasses -- it was her family’s tradition, they refused to buy any year past it -- and colorful party hats before introducing May to her parents and sitting around the kitchen table with Peter and Ned.

Ned took a look around the party, nodding in approval before turning back to (Y/N), “Kickass party!” He shouted over the chatter and music.

“Thanks!” She laughed, “Nice hat!” She pointed at Ned’s party hat on top of his favorite fedora.

Ned smiled and took a small handful of chex mix. The party was, generally speaking, a success. Drunk relatives kept coming up to (Y/N) and her friends and making very strange conversation, but, for the most part, Ned, Peter, and (Y/N) were free to hang out. Their conversation was light and breezy, mostly carried out by Ned because (Y/N) and Peter were both consumed by their nerves and entirely in their own heads.

Around 11:00, Peter excused himself to the bathroom and left (Y/N) and Ned to talk. And, that’s totally fine. But it was now 11:45. Needless to say, (Y/N) was worried and upset.

“....and that’s why Star Trek can never really beat Star Wars when it comes to quality.” Ned finished his point and (Y/N) realized she hadn’t listened to a thing he had said because she was so busy checking the time and scanning the room for Peter.

“Oh, totally.” (Y/N) wholeheartedly agreed, nodding passionately, even if she had listened, she knew pretty much nothing about Star Trek or Star Wars. “Do you know where Peter is?” She finally asked Ned, maybe he knew something she didn’t?

“Uh…” Ned looked nervous and checked his phone before responding, “He’s in the bathroom, right?”

“For an hour?” (Y/N) questioned and sighed. She was getting frustrated and upset, she planned to tell Peter at midnight but he was nowhere in sight. She knew full well that if she didn’t tell Peter tonight, she’d never have the nerve to tell him ever again. There’s no better time than on New Year’s Eve! If things went bad, she’d have time to move on, and if things went well, they’d have time to go on a date before school started. But every minute that passed was another minute closer to midnight.

“I think I’m gonna go for a walk,” (Y/N) told Ned, standing up and stretching. “I need some air before midnight.” Ned nodded, knowing that her anxiety was that much worse in social situations like this.

(Y/N) felt bad for leaving Ned in a house full of people he didn’t know, but she was upset with Peter and she was surrounded with people when she really just needed to be alone. Once her coat was on, she left her apartment and made her way outside. The cold New York air stung her cheeks as soon as she stepped outside, even though it was supposedly the “warmest winter New York had seen in years.”

She walked around the neighborhood for a bit, grateful for her distance to Times Square during the tourist season. She could never understand the overwhelming desire people felt all over the world to be in New York for the New Year.

“Damn TV for making New York seem so glamorous.” She cursed under her breath as she walked. She slowed her stride and sighed as she began to think about her life again. She couldn’t help but look for signs that she was making a mistake with Peter. ‘I mean, he disappeared. Is there a bigger sign that I’m making a mistake?’ She thought over their friendship and how devastated she would be if she lost her two closest friends. If Peter liked her, Ned would have told her, right?

“Ugh, I’m so stupid.” She groaned, stopping and burying her face in her hands. She stayed there, feeling sad about her feelings that would never be shared, for several minutes before steeling her nerves and deciding to go back home.

She had just turned around make her way back when something big and wet hit her on the top her head. “What-?” She looked up only to be hit with several more on her face. “Crap.” She whispered before speeding up in an attempt to get home before she was drenched. ‘Of course, I had to bring the one coat without a hood.’

(Y/N) was, unfortunately, unsuccessful and was soaked by the pouring rain well before she got home. She stopped under a small awning to check the time and message Ned that she might not make it back for midnight.

11:55

‘Yep, definitely missing midnight.’ (Y/N) sighed and opened her messages when she heard a familiar voice yell, “Uh, a little help!”

(Y/N) glanced around, curious and on edge. “Peter?” She called back, walking slowly toward the alley the voice called from. She peered down the dark alley, terrified and cold, searching for her best friend.

Much to her surprise, and disdain, instead of Peter, she found Spider-Man, tangled in his own web upside-down, drenched from the rain.

Her eyes went wide at the sight. “Oh my God, are you okay?” (Y/N) ran over to him but had no idea how to get him out of his own webs.

“Yeah, just, uh, messin’ around and got myself stuck.” He laughed awkwardly, his body spinning slightly.

“If only the world could see the amazing Spider-Man now.” (Y/N) laughed, plucking one of his webs like a guitar string after steadying him.

“Oh, god, please don’t tell anyone about this,” He groaned, the eyes of his mask getting smaller, somehow.

“I won’t,” she giggled, her eyes crinkling, her left handing coming up to her mouth to hide her smile. “But, your voice sounds so familiar…” She bit her lip, contemplating whether or not she should speak more.

“Oh!” Spider-Man shouted suddenly before deepening his voice and speaking again. “I get that a lot.”

“...I’m...sure you do,” (Y/N) agreed, nodding her head at the same pace she spoke.“But, you sound a lot like this guy I know. His name is Peter.”

“Who’s this ‘Peter’ guy? He sounds super cool.” Spider-Man said, sounding embarrassed.

(Y/N) giggled, her heart fluttering at the thought of Peter.“He’s a huge dork. But, that’s what makes me like him so much.”

“Oh, yeah?” His voice was suddenly small

“Yeah...he’s really cute. I was actually going to tell him tonight, but I haven’t been able to find him.” She confessed. “Aaaaaand I just confessed something weird and embarrassing to a super stranger.” She screwed her eyes shut and sighed, even though she was nearly certain that Spider-Man was no stranger.

“It’s not embarrassing!” He insisted, “I’m sure he feels the same! Something super important probably came up and he-he couldn’t, uh, couldn’t come back?”

(Y/N) cracked a smile. She could practically picture Peter’s curls underneath the mask. “Yeah, that’s probably it.” She said softly, looking into the eyes of the mask as if it would tell her everything she was wondering about.

“Yo-You should definitely still tell him how you feel, though. I mean, I’m sure he’d love to hear it.” Spider-Man stuttered out.

“You’re right,” she said, stepping closer to the dangling, masked, drenched, hero. She was certain at this point. “I’m going to tell him that I like him.” The pitter-patter of the rain on the fire escapes was going to be the soundtrack to her confession. She knew what she was doing. Or, at least, she hoped she did.

Her voice dropped as she stepped even closer to Spider-Man. “I’m going to say that I love his enthusiasm for everything he’s involved in. I love the way he casually checks in on me when he knows I have a bad day. I love that he pretends not to notice when I do something super embarrassing. I love that he’d do anything for his friends. I love that he’s smart enough to do whatever he wants but he chooses to hang out with me and Ned and take normal classes to be with me. I love that he comes to my shows even though I know he doesn’t like them. I love his beautiful brown eyes and his wonderful smile. I love that I can depend on him. But, most of all,” She took a shaky breath before her final confession, “I love him.”

A heavy silence fell around them. Peter wasn’t sure what to do and (Y/N) had just spilled her heart. Peter was about to say something, anything, to break the silence when a loud cheer went up and fireworks exploded in the sky.

(Y/N) looked up at the sky and smiled before returning her loving gaze to the boy in front of her. “Midnight.”

Spider-Man said nothing but stared at (Y/N) as she grabbed the edge of his mask and pulled it down to his nose. She leaned forward slowly, her breath hitching just before she pressed her lips to his.

It was a small kiss, but it was enough to leave them both breathless and elated.

“Happy New Year, Peter.” (Y/N) said softly, no longer caring about the party or the fact that she was drenched in cold rain. Her heart was warm and that was all that mattered.

#peter parker #peter parker x you #peter parker x reader #peter x you #peter x reader

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knucklehe4d · 6 years

Note

Hello love!! I’m here for you!! Sometimes when I am sad I like to talk about things that make me happy instead, to distract myself?? But other times you just gotta let the sadness run its course, let yourself feel all of it and work your own way through it to come out on the other side feeling lighter and happier.. so whichever you need right now I’m here for you!! If you want to rant about the sad things some more I’ll listen and if you want to talk about something else we can do that too! 💖

maybe i could do a little lf both? ill startsad things reslly suck i dont get to see my boyfriend much and its not really my fault or his but it’s straining things a tiny bit and im stuck at home all day its so boring it’s detrimental to my mental health and it makes things worse every day and sometimes i take things out on people close to me on accident and i know it’s wrong so i immediately apologize but i still feel awful for doing it. my family is pretty mean and neglectful to me they always have been but the older i get the worse it gets? im a neet and im ashamed of it. i want to hang out with friends but no one has time or doesnt feel like it and i dont hold that against snybody but it still makes me really sad. i crave attention affection and human interaction like oxygen. my cat had to be put down today and i expected it but it couldve been avoided if my mother took care of him yet im still absolutely devastated. im off my sleeping pills and its making things even more worse long story short got allergic to new meds that were supposed to help with sleep and paranoidnthoughts so now im stuck without till next appointment. im bad at everything i do. im too scared to play fallout even though i really really want to. im having a lot of panic attacks now too and imdisgusted with myself a lot anymore. my sisters are in school now so im alone during the day and im so fucking lonely. im so lonely. im probably malnourished but thats the least of my problems. im also terrified im getting fat so i starve myself then binge in a relapse! im so tired all the time. i could go on but i feel like this is long enough. what makes me happy? being with my boyfriend is number 1 hes one of the best things to ever happen to me i adore him to bits and pieces i love him bunches banana bunches im bananas over him and his cat is such a baby i love him too and his kid is a sweetheart i love him and the whole package its the best thing in my life. i love my cat but i dont spend enough time with him snymore we usually are together every waking second but the basement has the ps4 and he used to not be able to come down here cause of my cat that just passed but now he can and it makes me so sad but glad at the same time. i love my babies and this might sound bad but my cat is MY cat the one who just passed is more of a family cat but i still love them the same does that make sense? i hate being alone im glad hes gonna be here with me. i love being with my friends whenever i can which is so rare anymore but when i am with them i have so much fun. i love listening to my shitty music from 2012. i love making new friends and growing close with people thats definitely a top 5 anime miracles. games are a lot of fun even though im awful like i said. the office has been there for me besides my cat the most lately jfjdisjfjjf umm guitar hero is fun i might play it once i finish this the old one on the wii. maybe even wii sports!!!! also i wanna be friends with this one person but were both alike and its hard to initiate convo and keep it going so im 💀 also i really like clay slime. and buying things. and drinking :) which i do in a good amount! im only drinking rn on a sunday cause ive had such a rough day. it be like that sometimes. i love getting anons they make me so happy i looooove anons and asks. i cant rly think of anything else but this is long enough ithink sorry its so long! i got into it thank you so much for giving me the opportunity though i love you

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shesthelightoftheworld · 6 years

Quote

Now I’m punching myself in the throat, I’m sorry that I wasn’t enough. For you I tried to explain It But you wouldn’t listen These scars from our love war Just from betraying Since I can’t tell you directly I’ll tell you through music I lack self love a piece of me is missing I made a few mistakes but my arms were always open i wish i could have helped you in the way that you needed and the battlefield we stood on playing games and more you stabbed me over 50 times but i still put you first I’m sorry I hurt you, Even more so for my lies Tears mean nothing drowning in this sea of sadness but I still cry You didn’t give me much But what you gave me was enough to get through the day And it’s crazy that our gun fights are enough attention from you to feel satisfied. In and out of hospitals through my sophomore year, nobody understood me because my head wasn’t clear I remember when I was in the ER after an attempt to end my life, it was you who i texted, and i didn’t get a reply i didn’t lay in that hospital bed to make you feel bad i laid in that hospital bed because it was the only option i felt like i had a depressed, 15 year old anxious mind looks like a paradise masked in disguise Truthfully, it was horrifying. i needed you more than ever i looked left and right and you were nowhere by my side Your name never came up on my phone until i texted you months later I don’t know if you ever realized that was something I could never get over Someone who i cared so much for, Someone i knew like the back of my hand. he doesn’t care if i die? and he doesn’t care what i did I considered you someone who knew me too well to just leave me when i got crazy but you hid in a shell You were scared of me, As if I was an evil monster battling suicide and battling borderline personality disorder. the worst part about it, that you never explored, is that I looked up to you like my own mentor I can claim you as a sociopath , for not replying to me in the hospital, i was minutes away from death and just wanted to feel loved. but sitting here now and thinking on the past it’s not that you don’t feel emotion, its that you didn’t care about that. I depended on you, With my entire being, And it was not easy battling PTSD. Being a Sophomore was a time of my life, Where I almost got kidnapped, and I tried to die. Not once, nothing less, more than twice. Three times the charm, But I stayed alive. Imagine being 15, discovering weed and alcohol, Dealing with teenage depression, But also battling an attempt abduction. Most 15 year olds like going out to break innocence, Of course i liked all of those things, But I was struggling with multiple life changing situations. I wanted my life to fit the definition of normalcy, But there was no way normal could be a word in Sissy Mascari’s vocabulary. Being the center of attention in every room, With my small stomach and thick thighs, I lived to impress, But my happiness was in the sky. I tried reaching for the stars, Pulling down positivity, But all i could reach was the trace of your memory. I was SO infatuated and i have no idea why It seems like a mental illness in disguise. I tried to put a smile on, And make everybody laugh. But in a room full of people, My life was still black. You expected too much from me, By thinking i could be sane. I wasn’t enough for myself, Not even close, not a piece of me was sane. Silly you- it was your mistake, 2014 was a time in my life, Of repression and being emotionally drained. I didn’t live the life of a normal teenager, I dealt with a traumatizing experience that put me in hospital beds. I’m sorry you couldn’t save me, And I’m even more sorry that you didn’t even try. I admit, I was out of my mind. I’m sorry again, Would you have preferred me to die? you impressed me more and more every single day and you didn’t know why because you were so mentally drained exhaustion from school, its your senior year you’re doing everything you can to keep your head clear. a month of being in a psych ward, the breeze on my finger tips i hadn’t felt the sun rays in weeks, nor the cold or the wind. its my first day back at school, what will people say do they know i was gone? it only felt like a couple of days.. as i walk to my first class, the first face i see, i recognize these bright blue eyes, that were winking at me. its crazy how fast i forgot about being minutes away from death just by seeing your energy an angelic sociopath the pain i felt when you didn’t reply made me drown deeper to the bottom of the ocean and reminded me of why i wanted to die. theres never an easy way to explain it. especially if you dont have an out. no fix, no numbing, there was no easy route. freshly being 16, i started to drink until i started consuming excessive amounts, i started to struggle to think.. i only found happiness at the end of the bottle drinking 1 shot, to 14, before you knew it i was gone. it numbed my feelings it made me forget the problems it made me forget you ghosting me and it was a temporary out. just please know if you read this, my heart dropped to the ground because you didn’t text me back not a second went by where i wasn’t reflecting on that. what if you never saw me again, and the only time you saw my name was while standing in front of a plaque. When that ran through my head, it turned my soft spot in my heart for you black. I don’t know why i was crazy, I’m not sure why I cared. I am speaking for a girl that I don’t know anymore, And apologizing for her. She has acted like a psycho, To kill for your attention, All she ever wanted, Was to simply be your friend. It wasn’t out of love what she did for you, It was out of care. You confuse sugar with salt, And I confused salt with sugar. I watched you over-dose on sadness As I cried on your weightless body breathing to the rhythm of my tears It felt like you shot me You needed my love, Way more than i did- for that matter I feel as if I gave you more than i had to offer, Everything handed to you on a golden platter. You have a tendency to push people away, The people who care the most, And you make me feel crazy As if you just saw a ghost. There’s a difference between Fighting for love And fighting for someone to love you. It took me years to realize, I had been fighting for you to tighten my loose screws. It wasn’t your responsibility, And being that young, I should’ve taken initiative myself, And picked myself up. feeling worthless and dead i woke every day dreaming of seeing hell before seeing your face spending hours drowning in my tears wishing i wouldn’t wake up because when i told you i loved you i wasn’t good enough i wish i was skinny i wish i was blonde i wish i was the girl with blue eyes i wish we fell in love so much time spent on tryna make you smile giving you warmth and sunlight because you lacked it for awhile knowing there wasn’t a second that went by not a minute a day or a week that id spend thinking of you where you were thinking of me but it was you the whole time, who didn’t want me to be happy you masked your feelings with anger and you preyed on hurting me the love i gave you was imitation of what i deserved you deserve the best baby but i deserve more When you left me on read It hurt so much Because all I wanted to do Was give you love whats it like being an empath holding both of our feelings falling for a sociopath who’s eyes were to gleaming they told stories and i knew them from centuries ago this works in mysterious ways you told me so you felt nothing, because i felt it for you thats why we worked so well you didn’t have to speak i just knew but i started to realize i had this fake image in my head of who you really were verses the old you i knew being dead i tried to bring you back to life i tried to revive you but i soon understood that i couldn’t save you i needed to save myself i was dealing with illness battling these demons that i met under my bed i was always a dreamer, i had the sparkle in my eye everyday i showed you that i was so full of life we were in a knife fight and you pulled out a gun life flashed before my eyes and the innocent dreamer in me was gone before i knew it, i was smoking every day because you gave me so much just to take it away when i said i was a dreamer, i meant that i dreamed of you i talked about you like you put stars in my sky that was just a reflection of me in you the you i knew, the guy i remember wanted to accomplish so much but the white powder in the zip block bag stopped you from being the person i dreamed of maybe my mind tricked me and mistook salt with sugar because the past 2 years you have been nothing but a bummer it’s when i wear my red satin dress its when my eyes are drained with no sparkle left just mascara stains the sleepless nights where id stay up and type id write not pages but bibles explaining my side theres two sides to every story and mine i will never know how can i understand when the real you is unknown you dont love yourself you can’t give me anything but i never asked for that i just wanted you to receive from me my heart ached for months and i finally stopped thinking you’d come around because you loved drugs more than me. soon after, my name was replaced with xanax these 5mg pills replaced me, and he was putting his life in the hands of an addict. breaks were always fun to have you around. we laughed, smiled and you acted like a clown. but something wasn’t the same, you not only laughed differently, but your pupils were small, your eyes were always blood shot and i knew something was wrong. after a year of you coming and going as you please, i spent my 17th birthday, in tears but immediately happy once you wished me a happy birthday. that night, after trying to understand your addiction, i discovered what you felt i took a xanax and entered a new world it was a dark paradise in hell I am 18 years old now, Living the life i have always dreamed of, On top of the world on the other side of the country. I like being solo, Without you, living for me. The dreamer in me came back awhile ago, She sings, dances, and cries. She loves videography, Astrology, stars, and cheese fries. The me you knew, will forever be gone. She was one toxic mother fucker, And waited too long. To fix her head, She put her life in everyone’s hands, You had to tiptoe around her, Worrying you’d get caught in quicksand. The quick reactions, and pointed fingers, She was always “ too much “. That girl is somebody that i could never trust. I had this alter ego, Half of me i loved, The other half being my own worst enemy, A ticking time bomb. She lived her life with the adrenaline rush of doing bad things, Whether it was stealing alcohol, Or on sundays being a hypocrite and singing church music at willow creek. My parents would hear a phone ring and worry that it would be someone telling them I killed myself, I yelled at them every day at the top of my lungs, I now talk to them and tell them when I have a problem. I let the most important people to me in my life Live in pain, Worry, And heart ache. i have this over filled heart with so much love it was after i fell you didn’t catch me that i told myself to jump my hands reached the railing and my feet were stepping high onto the red pole in between the sea and the end of my life something hit me hard and told me not to give up because a person isn’t worth my happiness and that’s what i learned to love. as i say goodbye to you this is the final time the last chance i get to tell u the impact you had on my life i no longer fear the thought of being alone and i never would’ve learned that if you hadn’t come along one day you will realize i had good intentions i never meant to hurt you i just felt so much affection It’s crazy that i will never know If i ever cross your mind, If you ever think about me And our past that has died It’s sad where we have to leave off, Because you will look back and remember me for the bad, And for the person I’m not. You won’t remember me for my nonchalant goofiness making you laugh, You won’t remember my smile when I’d see you for the first time since the last time, You will remember me for my cracks. You won’t remember the heart I have, You will remember me for my mistakes. You won’t remember me by my love for art, You will remember me for my crazy mental-state. it wasn’t about being in love, because trust me I wasn’t. it was having someone that i shared Irreplaceable and unforgettable memories with. from trauma, to depression, to seasons changing to months , and suddenly three years i stood around waiting my best friend, my first “love”, whatever you want to call it i just want you to know you made me who i am, and i can’t thank you enough. I hope you’re happy, I wish nothing more. If you aren’t with me, I hope you are with her. You should never settle, For anything less than the world. Because even though i couldn’t give it to you, I know somebody else will. If she doesn’t adore Your round blue eyes, She doesn’t love you enough, So move onto to next in line. If she doesn’t start to act like you, Even though i know that sets you off, She does not love you enough, my dear, And it’ll be time to move on. These are my last words to you, I could write to you forever, But it’s time to let go. Happy 21st birthday, I love and care for you more than you will ever know. Always and forever

Dear Asshole

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curly-q-reviews · 5 years

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ROAD TO THE OSCAR MAYER WIENER AWARDS 2K19

Cold War (original title Zimna wojna), 2018 (dir. Pawel Pawlikowski)

Nominated for: Best Foreign Language Film, Best Director, Best Cinematography

TW SUICIDE MENTION

SPOILER WARNING IM GONNA GIVE AWAY THE ENDING IN THIS REVIEW DONT READ THIS SHIT IF U WANNA WATCH THIS MOVIE OK BYE LOVE U

well shit the oscars is only a week away!!! and ive only seen like half of the movies i wanted to see!!! how does this keep happening to me!!!!!!!!!!!

ok well no use crying over spilled milk im just gonna have to go on a massive movie-watching spree this week and try and consume as many films as possible, and in the meantime lets talk about the movie i saw last night. this is probably the first year ive seen more than one movie in the foreign language film oscar category, mainly just because the foreign language films are typically harder to find unless a local movie theater happens to be playing them as part of an oscars season special event or something. but now that two of our nominees this year have american distributors it makes watching them a lot easier.

going into Cold War i had absolutely no idea what it was about except that its set in Poland during the, well, Cold War. the trailers for this movie didnt really reveal much about the plot or characters, which honestly i kinda prefer with trailers. sometimes they just give away waaaayyy too much and then whats the point of going to see the movie?? i did know beforehand that its a romance so i at least had that expectation.

and well yeah its a romance all right!! its a very romeo and juliet star-crossed lovers kinda situation where a student who gets accepted into a state-run polish music academy becomes close with one of the instructors and they fall in love, however life circumstances keep pulling them away from each other over and over again. the movie spans over a timeline of about a decade and a half, and in this time the two of them find other lovers, get married, travel from country to country, but always end up managing to find each other before theyre separated again by circumstances that usually involve the polish communist state. so basically communism is a total cock block.

acting in this movie is overall very solid with not really a weak link in the bunch, except for maybe tomasz kot who played wiktor cause he just felt a lil stiff to me. however joanna kulig steals the fuckin show for me as zula, shes utterly captivating on screen and really takes advantage of all of the close-up shots of her face throughout this film. it also helps that shes given a fantastic character to play in zula, shes a spitfire and strong-willed and will not take any mans bullshit but near the end of the film you do get to see her struggle as well. the shit she has to put up with gets very harrowing at times and u do feel for her

and wiktor goes through his fair share of shitty situations as well, i mean damn he ends up in jail when he goes back to poland for zula and they mangle his hands so badly he’ll never be able to play piano again which was his livelihood. its pretty tragic how these two people are just like little puppets for the communist state to toss around and play with to their hearts content until theyre both almost destroyed. and really the whole underlying backdrop of communist poland is really what elevates this story from being just another romeo and juliet clone to something a little more profound.

ill come back to the story in a bit cause there are a few things i took issue with but i wanna take a moment to praise the music in this film cause holy SHIT its so good. im honestly really surprised it didnt get any music-related noms cause the music was probably my favorite part of Cold War. the beginning is full of polish folk music with a full womens choir that sounds just delightful, and then we transition into classic jazz when our lovers end up in paris together in the early 1950′s, and then some american classic rock n’ roll music is thrown into the mix in a few scenes, and then at the end we have a performace thats like a weird polish version of mariachi music?? such a wide and complex musical palette that ebbs and flows with the story, and we also get to see performers doing their thing which is just the icing on the cake.

so the movie sounds fantastic, and i mean i gotta say it looks fantastic too! like Roma, Cold War is shot in black and white, which definitely fits the time period its set in and fits especially well with the jazz scenes. we get a lot of close-up shots of peoples faces, but theyre balanced out well with wide shots that tend to put the focal points in the bottom third of the screen which i thought was an interesting touch. gave it a very art house feel. from what i could tell there were mostly still shots except for a few dance scenes, which kept the movie very grounded and kinda added a sense of realism.

so i think thats all the good shit i have to say and i wanna touch on the ending for the last part of this review, cause to be frank, this movie ended so abruptly it gave me whiplash. i was going into this film expecting it to be like 2 hours long but the run time clocks in at just under an hour and thirty minutes. usually this isnt a bad thing at all especially for quieter movies like this that take their time, but in this case it couldve used AT LEAST another ten to twenty minutes. so wiktor is let out of prison early because his commie friend pulled some strings (probably due to zulas insistence) and we find out that zula has married this commie state official and had a kid with him. and she now works as a performer (probably working for the state like she did when she was with the music academy) singing weird polish mariachi music. shes clearly drunk off her ass when she sees that wiktor is out, runs to the bathroom to puke, and then he finds her in there and they decide to run away together again. but its implied that this time its more of an uuhhh permanent escape. like, PERMANENT permanent. like no-longer-living permanent. and this is the point of the movie where im like “oh god really theyre gonna keep THIS part of the romeo and juliet story they really think thats a good idea”

and then the next scene we see them going to an abandoned run-down church that was shown in the beginning of the movie, and they both have what looks like a shit ton of pills out in front of them. they say wedding vows, then each take half of the giant pile of pills, and then go to watch the sunset. and then thats where the movie ends. it just like cuts to credits and thats it.

idk man it just doesnt have the amount of emotional gravitas that i feel like a scene like that should have. and it escalates so quickly too, like one minute theyre in a bathroom and the next theyre on a bus and the next theyre at the church with the pills in front of them. its hard to explain how abrupt it all felt watching it, u have to see it for urself to get what i mean. the pacing was just really off in the last third of this film, and with the severity of the act theyre committing u’d think the director would wanna spend more time on it.

so other than that i’d say if u like foreign films and good period pieces this is one to check out, i’d give it like a 7/10. if anything go see it just to listen to the music cause good god its so gorgeous im gettin my hands on this soundtrack.

OK Y’ALL i got lots of reviewing to do in the next few days so u’ll be seeing a log of long-ass posts from me soon! i think The Favorite is on amazon video now so ill watch that for sure sometime this week, and then god knows what else i’ll watch i’ll just have to play it by ear. have a relaxing fun and fresh sunday y’all try not to let the idea of having to go to school/work tomorrow fill u with too much existential dread ;)

#curly q reviews #oscars #oscars 2019 #academy awards #road to the oscar mayer weiner awards 2k19 #cold war #foreign films #polish films #romance #communism #cold war 2018 #romeo and juliet #tomasz kot #joanna kulig #pawel pawlikowski

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