#and that’s worth more than what you could have later (aka two birds in the bush) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bnhaimaginesandocs · 4 years

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dear, songbird || tokoyami x reader

A/N: This is for the bnhaharem pen-pal collab on our discord server! It’s also my first collab so I’ve been really nervous about posting it. But I really hope you guys enjoy it! You can go here to look at all of the other wonderful stories that people from our discord has written! Also this is my first smut so please be gentle. Warnings: Talk of arranged marriage; NSFW Content. (+18) Tags: @bratwritings @mmalfoydraco @shoutogepi Words: 6.5k (aka the longest thing I have ever written)

“We’ve arranged a marriage for you.”

The phrase was dropped so casually by your father that you could have sworn you almost missed it. If it had not been for the fact that your mother was grinning excitedly. Her eyes glowing and her smile so wide It could have split her face in half. You felt the spoon fork and knife drop from your hands in shock, clattering against the china dinner plate you had been so happily digging into only seconds ago. You jaw dropping slightly and tears stinging at the corner of your eyes. You hand known this was coming for a while now, but it still hurt that they hadn’t even bothered to inform you that they were looking. That they did not even ask for your opinion on who you were to marry; that they were selling you off like some prized cow. Like livestock.

You had seen so many young girls be married off solely to help their families in the past; friends that were married to men that treated them worse than the dirt on their shoe. Who expected them to be quiet and take care of the children while they did nothing? Would that be you? You did not want that to be you. You wanted your freedom. You wanted to be someone’s equal. To be able to chose who you loved and –

Your parents were staring at your worriedly, no doubt considering your pale face and furrowed brow. You took a deep breath, you needed to stay calm.

“I see.” You said thickly slowly moving to pick up the goblet of wine that was sitting next to your plate, forcing yourself to swallow down the liquid. Wincing slightly at the bitter taste as it burned down your throat, but it brought you back to reality. Taking a deep breath, you steady yourself as you pick up the fork again, looking across the table at your parents. “When should I be expecting to meet him?” You tried to keep your voice from trembling as you asked, thankfully your parents seemed relaxed now and none the wiser to your plight and to the thoughts swirling around in your head.

“Well actually, he won’t be available to meet you in person for a few months yet, my darling.” Your father informed with that easy going smile he always seemed to wear. “He’s away over seas for the time being. Merchant business and all that.” He explained as he started to cut up his food again. Shoveling it into his mouth as he talked and you and your mother both fought back the urge to cringe at his manners; hopefully, your husband to be would be slightly better with his table manners.

“You could always write him a letter, perhaps try to get to know him a bit?” Your mother offered helpfully, her smile warm. “He did leave an address for you to use if you so wished.”

You hummed thoughtfully at the information you had just been given. Delicately placing your fork and knife on your half empty plate, your appetite still lost from the news, but your mind clearer than a moment ago. If this mysterious man were away overseas, then maybe, perhaps it would give you time to plan. You entertained the idea of maybe talking your parents out of this arrangement; but even you knew that would not be possible. Him being a merchant sealed the deal for your parents; as much as you loved them. They were always looking to evolve their own appearance in society.

The only other option truly was to do what your mother had suggested. Writing to him seemed like the only course of action now, and truly, it was the best option. It would at least give you the chance to know who you may be marrying; and if he was callous or unfit in any way, you would have proof to show your family so they could call it off.

“I see,” You said with a hum. Bringing your goblet of wine to your lips with a small smile. “Mother, would you please give me that address?” You downed the contents gracefully as you finished. “I think I might like to write to him.”

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You let out a loud huff as you glared down at the piece of parchment before you on your desk, you watched with frustrated eyes as the candles lit around your desk flickered violently at the heavy gust of air from your lungs. You closed your eyes, rubbing at them tiredly before glancing around your desk chair, sighing at the tens of pieces of parchment paper that were already used crumpled onto the floor.

This was a lot harder than you had thought it was going to be. You thought that it would be a few simple questions; what were his hobbies? What did he do for a living other than being a merchant? Why did he agree to marry you? But even as you wrote these simple questions on the paper, they never seemed to fit quite right so you would scrap it and try again. And again. And again.

It was becoming more frustration than it was worth, quite frankly. But still, this was something that you had to do. Something you needed to do.

You slowly picked the pen back up again, carefully dipping it into the inkwell with one hand as you brushed your hair to the side with the other, focusing solely on the letter you began to write.

To my soon to be Husband,

Though I have yet to make your acquaintance in person. I supposed that writing this letter to you while you are away would be a good enough start. I would like to get to know you more. I want to know what kind of man I would be marrying; so, what interests you? About me? About life in general? Tell me about your travels. What places have you seen?

I’m still wondering why you agreed to the marriage without even have meeting me in the first place. How do you know we will even get along?

Please answer back at your earliest convince.

Sincerely.

Your future Wife.

You sighed softly as you sat the pend back into the ink well, blowing gently on the parchment paper as you held it up, drying the ink in the process. You let you mind wander for a few minutes, thinking of what this will mean for you now. Marrying off to a merchant. Would you travel with him? Would you be expected to stay at home and take care of things there while he travelled the world doing god know what?

“Only time will tell.”, You sigh softly, noticing the dried ink on your hand as you started to fold the letter. Sealing the enveloped with a wax seal before leaving it on your desk to give to one of the maids in the morning. Blowing out the candles quickly as you turned in for the night. Thoughts still running through your mind as you drifted away into a blissful sleep.

________________________________________________________________

His response to your letter arrived no more than two week later; one of the maids handing it to you excitedly. Her smile knowing as she placed the pristine envelope in your hands; you thanked her quietly, setting down the cup of tea you had been nursing for the better part of an hour, trying to contain your nerves as you reached for the letter opener on your deck. Making quick work of the envelope as you hastily unfolded the letter.

The first thing you noted was how neat his handwriting was; looping and curving elegantly around each word. A soft smile growing on your face as you read the opening words.

My Dearest future Wife,

I agree as well, us writing to one another is a good enough start. I have been eager to know more about you. Your parents told me tales of your beauty, of your knowledge and your hunger for life. You have intrigued me to no end, my dear. What has interested me since the moment I knew of you, was the way your parents talked about your love for books and knowledge; your wishes to travel to places you’ve only dreamed of.

And while they may have laughed it off as the musings of nothing but a silly girl. I heard the cries of a woman desperate for adventure and knowledge. I wanted to know more. That’s why I agreed to the marriage. I wanted to know what places you want to go. What things you would like to see. I want to know more about you and I knew that this was my chance. And if we don’t get along, then we will call off the engagement. But will you at least let me try?

The letter went on, telling you more of his interest in you. His interest in anything and everything actually. Your smile only growing wider and wider as you finished it, carefully sliding it into an empty drawer in your desk as your fingers itched for your pen and inkwell; ready to craft a new letter yet again.

Maybe, just maybe he wouldn’t be as bad as you had feared. Not when he seemed to have such an interest in you and all of the things that mattered to you.

You heart fluttered in your chest; a goofy grin on your face as you set the pen to paper.

________________________________________________________________

It went on like that for weeks after the first letter. There wasn’t a day going by that you weren’t writing to him. Telling him stories of how you grew up; sneaking into the library when you had thought no one else would look for you. Hiding in the back corners with a book in your hand as you shirked your etiquette lessons and wasted the day away. You told him of how you and your best friend would ruin your best dresses climbing in the trees and pretending you were princess of the forest. How you loved to sing.

(He had started addressing you in his letters as Songbird, after you had told him that fact. Making you promise to sing for him when you met.)

You had worried with the first few that you were boring him. But to your surprise, he seemed interested in your stories; sharing his own of how he would sneak in injured birds when he was a boy. How he would jump fully clothed into the lake as a child, pretending he was a sailor tempted overboard by a group of sirens. Even how he had fallen off a horse the first time he tried riding one. You had laughed out loud at that; the thought of someone who seemed so proper doing something so silly.

The letters soon gave way to gifts. Dresses and necklaces. Books and journals from all corners of the world. I

With each letter, each word and each passing day you fell more and more in love with this man whom you’d never met, and you found yourself slightly surprised. Not realizing how excited you had become, waiting on his every letter with a bated breath. Your heart fluttering whenever you saw his familiar handwriting on an envelope in the hands of your maids.

You were in love with him. And you told him that in your latest letter. Hands shaking slightly as you wrote out the confession; short and simple. No need to weave it with pretty words when you felt as though the plain truth would be more than effective with that.

And it was a surprise to no one when his letter was just the same; your heart nearly swelling at the words of scrawled across the page neatly with something else below it.

“I love you too. I’m coming home. I can’t wait to see you anymore, Songbird.”

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You had prepared yourself for it for weeks; but nothing could stop the nerves from taking over you as you stood on the steps of your estate, your parents beside you as you watched the carriage pull into the grounds. The cool breeze of fall weaving through your hair and making you shiver as you wiped your clammy hands against the skirt of the dress you had specifically picked out to wear for his arrival. It was the first gift he had ever sent you. A gorgeous, black lace dress that skirted the tops of your shoes, the neckline dipping down a little more than what was acceptable, but you didn’t really mind. It fit you like a glove and it brought you a sense of joy when you wore it; that he had picked this out for you in mind.

You felt your mother lay a hand on your shoulder as you tugged at your sleeves and you gave her a tiny smile. Hoping it concealed enough of your nerves; the ones that were worried that he wouldn’t like how you looked or that he wouldn’t be what you thought he would when you met and –

It all came to a stop suddnely as you watched the carriage come to a full stop.

You held your breath as you watched it pull to a stop in front of your house, hands shaking excitedly as the door opened and he stepped out. Breath catching in your throat, you couldn’t help the blush that colored your cheeks. You had always wondered how he looked; he wrote so beautifully that it was only natural he be just as lovely as his words. Luckily, your imagination did not fail you.

He was handsome, almost achingly so. His hair black as ink from your inkwell, the same ink that stained you hands late at night as you scribbled down everything to him. Every hope dream and desire. His skin bronzed from time at sea no doubt and his eyes were so beautiful they stopped you in your tracks when he fixed them on you. Deep, burnished red like the rubies of a family amulet fixating on you the moment his feet touched the graveled stone; lips quirking up in the most handsome of grins as he stepped forward; your eyes never leaving one another’s.

Your feet seemed to move on their own. Slowly moving down a step before breaking into a short run, throwing your arms around his neck; his chuckle was deep and rumbling as he wrapped his arms around your waist; proper decorum gone to the wind. “Hello, Songbird.” He said against your ear as he tugged you closer than you thought possible, hugging you tight to him as he leaned down to press his lips against your ear. Smirking as he felt you shiver.

“I always knew would be lovely.” He whispered it low against your ear like a secret; warm and low as he held you close. It nearly made your knees give out beneath you, having him so close like this. “But nothing could have prepared me for the injustice my imagination did to the real you. You’re simply breathtaking my dear.” That simple sentence nearly knocked the breath from your lungs as he stepped back from the embrace, warm hands leaving your waist to grab your smaller ones in his.

And just like that, all your worries from earlier were a thing of the past.

His smile was almost cheeky as he took you in; his eyes darkening slightly as he took note of what you wore and the small smirk that adorned your face at noticing you had gotten a reaction out of him. Your eyes were lock for a moment longer before you heard a loud cough from behind you. The two of you jumping apart with sheepish smiles as you walked arm and arm up to your parents.

He turned towards your parents. Shaking hands with your father and gently kissing your mother’s hand before pulling her into a short hug as well in greeting, thanking them for having him here; sneaking glances at you every chance that he could get. Your parents seemed to notice, your mother patting his shoulder gently.

“You’re welcome any time dear. Now why don’t you let my daughter take you to the library? I’m sure you two have a lot to catch up on. I’ll make sure you’re not bothered.” You noticed how her eyes glinted mischievously and you couldn’t help but flush slightly but your mother only giggled at your expression, ushering the two of you inside quickly.

________________________________________________________________

You had feared that your first time meeting him would be awkward at first. The two of you feeling so out of your element being in the same room together that you wouldn’t know what to say. You feared staring blankly into your cup of tea with nothing to talk about and that the letters had painted a false illusion of a man.

You thanked every god in existence that that wasn’t the case for the two of you. The two of you had not stopped talking with one another as you entered the library; flirting and laughing as you sat with him on the floor of the library, books that you were reading to him earlier scattered around you; doubled over in laughter as you sat side by side against a shelf of books; shoulders brushing as he told you stories of the crew he had been with on the ship while he traveled.

“So you mean to tell me, that he got so drunk he stripped naked and ran through the mess hall when everyone was eating; at twelve in the afternoon?” You asked through peels of laughter as Fumikage shook his head, laughing along with you at the memory.

“Yes, it’s an image I wish to erase from memory. We had to chase him down with a sheet to try to at least make him decent.” He said cringing, sending you into another laughing fit at the image of him and the others chasing down a drunken first mate with nothing but bed sheets in their hands. He chuckled along with you, his laughter deep and rumbling and it made a shiver run down your spine at the sound.

“You know,” you began after the laughter subsided, taking his hand in yours gently as you turned to face him, tucking your knees up under yourself as you knelt beside him, the carpet of the library floor plush under them. “I feared that you wouldn’t be like you letters when we met.” Your voice soft as you looked into ruby colored eyes that seemed unreadable for a moment before a smirk crossed his face.

“And what is it you feared I would be Songbird?” He asked coyly, his voice rumbling in a purr and his eyes glinting playfully as he moved in closer to you, angling his head just so your noses brushed against each other and you felt your breath hitch in your chest slightly but you controlled it quickly, hoping that he didn’t notice how distracted you felt by his closeness. How the smell of his cologne sent a shiver down your spine, and how his smirk was making your hear race even faster and you couldn’t stop staring at his lips.

Quickly, you collected yourself, your eyes jumping back up to his to keep from staring at his lips to long, face burning slightly at his knowing look. Clearing your throat, you answered.

“That you wouldn’t be nearly as wonderful in person as you were in your letters. That you would be rude, or boring, or callous. Nothing like I dreamed about.” You said honestly, smiling sweetly up at him as you amended it with, “I’m glad I was wrong though. You’re everything I could have hoped for, Fumikage.” The honesty in your voice seemed to take him by surprise. A smile so gentle crossing his face as he reached up a hand to rest against your cheek sweetly, cradling your face like it was something precious.

“Well you, my love, are everything I’ve dreamed about. Every desire and hope that I’ve ever had in human form.” He whispered it reverently, his eye never leaving yours as he brought up his other hand to cradle your face as well and you couldn’t remember a time you had felt more loved, more cherished than in that moment. It nearly made you dizzy with how badly in that moment you wanted to kiss him. To feel his lips against yours like you’d daydreamed about for months. So you tilted your head forward a bit, your lips brushing against his slightly; feeling him gasp softly before pulling back a bit.

You felt disappointment begin to claw at your stomach before he chuckled. “At least let me ask you properly first my little bird.” Eyes twinkling with mirth as he leaned in closer, and you shivered at the feeling of hot air against your lips, your body thrumming in anticipation as you waited with bated breath.

“May I kiss you, Songbird?” you nearly whined at how deep his voice sounded, how dark his eyes were as you whined against his lips. “Please, kiss me.”

You gasped as he finally crashed his lips against yours with a soft growl. Your mind went blank as you lost yourself to the feeling of his lips against yours, how soft they felt and how warm they were. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer until you successfully climbed onto his lap, your knees on either side of his hips, being able to kiss him deeper at this angle and you shivered as you felt his hands slowly glide down your back, to rest on your hips; squeezing slightly and making you gasp against his mouth. Giving him an opportunity to slip his tongue into our mouth, he both of you moaning softly as they danced with on another for a moment before pulling away for air, your chest heaving as he rested his forehead against yours, his smile almost boyish in this light.

“I’ve been wanting to do that from the moment I saw you my dear,” He whispered softly, his hands still squeezing your hips gently, thumbs rubbing circles into them as he took in your appearance; flushed cheeks and swollen red lips and chest still heaving from the passion of the kiss. You were so beautiful it stole his breath straight from his lungs as he brushed your hair from the side of your neck as he leaned in to whisper against your ear.

“You’re so beautiful it hurts Songbird.” His voice was smooth and dripping like honey as he placed a kiss against the skin beneath your ear, chuckling at the gasp that left your mouth before covering it with his own again, this time the kiss rougher and more passionate. He wasted no time in swiping his tongue against your lips, begging for permission that you gladly granted him as you pulled yourself closer to him, your chest pressed flush together, your hips unconsciously grinding down against his and the both of you groaning at the sensation. You could feel him hardening underneath you with every second passing and it made you dizzy with want as he pulled away to catch his breath, stopping for only a moment before he began kissing down your neck gently. Such a start contras to his kiss earlier.

Your mind was hazy as he continued to kiss down your neck gently, pulling soft moans from your lips. You had never been kissed like this, never done anything like this. Truly you had never thought about it before you had started writing to Tokoyami. You had had dreams of situations like this before, You panting underneath him, his lips on your neck, but oh god the real thing was so much better.

You laced a hand through his hair, tugging gently when he nipped at a space where your neck met your shoulder. You whimpered loudly, tugging at his hair making a guttural groan leave his lips that went straight to your aching core as he pulled away. Lips swollen slightly and his eyes the darkest you have ever seen them as he spoke, voice thick with want.

“Can I make love to you?” He whispered against your lips desperately. It took you by surprise almost, but the thought made you moan out loud. “Please tell me you want this as much as I do. It’s all I can think about when you’re close like this. Your smell, your eyes, the way you feel. God, you drive me insane, Songbird.” His voice was husky, desperate and filled with so much want that it made you shudder violently against him, the way he spoke about you so reverently only made you want him that much more.

“Yes, I want it. I want you.” You whined against his lips, feeling a small amount of satisfaction as you watched him groan at how wanton your voice sounded, his head dropping to your shoulder with a shuddering breath.

“If I’m going to take you, I want to do it on a proper bed. I want to make you scream for me.” He growled against your ear before pulling away so you could see his eyes. His pupils dilated to the point you could barely see the gorgeous red of his irises. “How quickly do you think we can make it to your room?”

You stood up from his lap, grabbing his arm and dragging him for the door as quick as your feet could move. Blushing slightly at his loud laughter as you chuckled slightly yourself as you raced down the hall.

________________________________________________________________

The second you locked your bedroom door behind the two of you; Tokoyami was on you like a man starved, his lips ravaging yours with a hunger you tried to match; moaning against his lips as he back you against he door. Your hands reach for his jacket sliding it off his shoulders and your fingers fumbling with the buttons of his shirt as well, helping him remove it with a soft huff of laughter at his eagerness and yours as you reach for his pants as well; fumbling with the clasp of his belt as you try desperately to pull them down for him to step out of which you do.

As you do this, his hands roaming towards your back, fingers fumbling for the laces that did up the back of you dress as he slipped a tongue inside of your mouth and you moaned loudly against his lips, the wet muscle slithered into your mouth, play with yours. Finally he pulled away for a moment, his breathing coming out in harsh pants against your lips as he growled.

“Your lips taste so sweet, my love.” He purrs as he undoes the last of the laces, letting the dress fall to the floor, leaving you in nothing but your underwear, smirking as he realized you hadn’t worn a corset under the dress. He gazed at you with hungry eyes and let his hands trail down from your shoulders cupping your breasts gently in his hand, letting his thumbs brush over your nipples briefly and laughing darkly when you toss your head back against the door at his gentle touch; you can feel your pussy absolutely aching and soaked between your thighs and you rub them together slightly, hoping for some amount of friction to relieve them.

Tokoyami grins at the small movement, as he dips in for a short kiss that is anything but chaste as he continues to play with your nipples, thoroughly enjoying the reactions he’s pulling from you. The cute littles gasps against his lips as he slots a bare leg between your thighs groaning when you start to grind down against it. He can feel the wetness seeping through your underwear and god it’s so hot he can barely think straight. Without breaking the kiss, he lifts you into his arms effortlessly, and you wrap your legs around his waist rightly as he carries you to the bed, laying you down on hit gently on the bed.

He crawls on top of you with a gentle smile, marveling at the way your hair fans out beneath you and how beautiful you look like this. Willing and looking up at him with the most loving of eyes. It takes his breath away for a moment as he sits back on his knees to observe you. He runs his hands down your sides and to your thighs, tugging at your underwear in a silent question and you nod shakily as he pulls them down your legs.

“You’re so much more beautiful than I could have ever dreamed. You’re perfect darling.” He whispers reverently, like he’s worshipping a goddess and it makes you blush as you smile bashfully, turning your head for a moment before peering at him through thick lashes.

“Am I now? Where I’m looking, it’s you that’s the beautiful one.” you tease lightly, a smirk playing at the corner of your lips as you move your hands from his neck down the expanses of broad shoulders and strong arms. Smoothing over a pale chest and slightly defined abs. “You’re so strong,” you sigh dreamily and watch In amazement as he shudders under your touch and you reach up to kiss his cheek, slowly moving your way down his neck, reveling in the little gasp he gives you as you suck a mark into the space where his neck meets his shoulder as you hands go lower and lower, hitting the top of his under wear and you tug at them gently.

“It’s not fair I’m the only naked one.” You tease as you pull back to face him. Grinning at his flushed face for a moment before your eyes trail down his figure, widening at the sight of his member, before cautiously moving your hand to wrap around it’s girth. Tokoyami lets out a guttural groan the sensation of your soft hand grasping him so gently. “Feel how hard I am for you my love?” He moans out as you grasp him tighter. “I’m going to split you open with this.” You moan at his words, pussy clenching around nothing at the thought of him fucking you open on his cock. You squeeze him a few more times and much to your delight, you watch him start to pant, his hips moving slightly before he removes your hand from his cock.

You look up at him with curious eyes and he grins lightly before leaning down to kiss you passionately again. “Let me take care of you first, alright my love?” He whispers as he pulls back and your breath picks up as he started to litter kisses and licks down your neck and towards your chest, sucking marks into the skin gently all the way down and catching your one of your nipples in his mouth and the other with his thumb and forefinger, rolling them around his tongue and fingers respectively leaving you a moaning mess beneath him. “Please, Fumikage.” You whimper and he looks up at you through the hair hanging over his forehead, ruby eyes flashing mischievously as he witches his mouth to the other nipple and giving it the same attention as the other one.

He grins as you card a hand through his hair and starts moving downward as he begins to speak.

“How is it that every part of you tastes so sweet? Your skin, your lips. Your breasts.” He reaches up to squeeze them again and you moan as you feel his kisses go lower towards your aching core, your breath speeding up at the implication of what he’s going to do when you feel him start kissing the inside of your thighs. You lift yourself onto your elbow, watching him through a hooded gaze and your lip caught between your teeth to keep your moans at bay as he lavishes kisses on your thighs as he moves towards your soaked pussy.

“I bet you taste just as sweet here darling.” Tokoyami’s eyes are dark as he looks up at you, looking all to handsome between your legs like this as his hot breath fans over your soaking sex and god you’re gorgeous down here too; folds glistening with your juices and so, so ready for him. He grins lightly. “Let’s see shall we?” He asks as he licks a broad stripe up your pussy and you let out a short cry of pleasure, throwing your head back as you feel the vibrations of his groan against your pussy a hand shooting out to card through his hair as you fall back.

“God you taste divine my love, is there any part of you that isn’t perfect?” Tokoyami’s voice is dark with hunger and you moan at his words before yelping slightly as you feel him pinch your hip, forcing you to look at him. He smirks as you tug his hair in retaliation before speaking again.

“Don’t look away.” He demands as one hand begins to move up your thigh towards tour core, his fingers rubbing along your slit in a way that your fingers never could. “Ohhh!” your moan is loud and high pitched and your head is thrown back again when suddenly the sensation stops. You glare down at the man between your legs who is only grinning devilishly at you as he continues. “Every time you look away. I stop. And unless you want to cum, you are going to do what I say. Is that alright my darling?”

“Yes, yes I’ll do anything love plea- ah!” Your plea is cut off with a choked cry as he dives back into your glistening folds, his tongue licking broad stripes along them. Every time he licks upward, he takes a moment to suck on your clit and it was all you could do to not through your head back in ecstasy. You let out a soft cry as he plunged his tongue into your opening and distantly you were thankful your room was in the other wing of the house away from your parents because there was no chance in hell you were being quiet.

You could feel him smirk against your folds as he watched you come undone above him, your cheeks flushed and hair sticking to your face. You looked utterly debauched and it was all because of him and the knowledge of that made him groan against your folds again, earning a moan and a jerky movement from you. He brough his hand to rub at your clit in small tight circles and he loved your reaction. The wanton cry that you mad and the pleads for him to “don’t stop, don’t stop.” It made him feel drunk in the best of ways.

You could feel the coil in your abdomen ready to burst and you made it know. “Fumikage! I’m- I’m s-so close!” you stuttered out much to his delight, your eyes glassy as you looked down at him, hips swiveling against his face, your juices dripping down his chin as he pulled back to speak

“Are you going to come all over my face darling? Come on make a mess of me. I want it.” and with that he dived back in to your heat; thrusting his tounge inside you wildly and his thumb circling your clit as fast as he could until you couldn’t take it any more. Throwing your head back in utter euphoria with a loud cry as you threaded a hand through his hair, keeping his mouth on you as you rode out your high, slowly releasing him as you came down, your chest heaving and a glean of sweat all over your skin.

Tokoyami grinned as he lifted himself up from his place between your legs. Admiring his handiwork as he grabbed your thighs and tugged you toward him, his eyes glimmering.

“Do you want more my love?” He asked and laughed as you nodded eagerly, your legs wrapping around his hips to bring him closer to you and your arms winding around his neck. “Please. I want you inside me. I want to feel you.”

Your voice was so wanton and needy that Tokoyami let out a loud groan as he whispered in your ear. “Anything for you my love.” As he slowly pushed into your tight heat, hissing through his teeth at how wet you were, how you were gripping him like the best kind of vice. He didn’t think he’d ever get enough, he glanced beneath him, watching your face carefully for any signs of discomfort on your gentle features but all he could see was pleasure coloring them. But even as he bottomed out, he waited a moment, placing gentle kisses all over your face.

“Move.” You begged, rolling your hips against his with a moan. “Please move, love I need you please.” Your voice sounded so desperate and wrecked but right now you didn’t care. His cock was stretching out your walls so deliciously and you felt as though you would die if you didn’t feel him move. “Alright, tell me if it gets to much.” He whispered against your ear as he pulled out slowly before thrusting back in gently.

He kept that pace for a few minutes. Gentle and loving the two of you pressed so tightly against one another you didn’t know where one ended and the other began. It was heaven. Pure and euhphroic for the both of you. Your eyes rolled back into your head with every thrust, his cock reaching almost impossible depths inside of you that had you moaning his name loudly. That seemed to spur him on because soon his thrusts got faster, harder, deeper.

“Fuck you feel so good.” He grunted against your lips, his forehead resting against yours. “God its like you were made for my cock weren’t you my girl? Made to take it just like this.” His hips snapped into you with a particularly hard thrust and you cried out, your nails digging into his shoulders as your hips bucked up to meet his. “Fuck, fuck you feel divine wrapped around me like these. I could fuck you forever.” He rambled on as your cries only got louder and louder, lost in the sensation of him and his arms wrapped around you and thrusting into you like your lives depended on it.

“You feel so good – so good – don’t stop please don’t stop oh god, oh god. I’m gonna come again.” You whimpered into his neck, your nails scratching down his back and he groaned at the sensation, telling you to keep it up. “Just like that Songbird. Sing for me. I want to hear what you sound like when you come from my cock.” He growled against your ear. So you did, you pulled back, reasting your forehead against his and let out a silent scream as your walls clamped down around his length, noting how he groaned and fucked you faster through your orgasm. The image of how you looked as you came around his cock burning behind his eyelids as he finally came himself, feeling you up with his seed, collapsing on top of you unceremoniously before rolling off of you and pulling out slowly.

He opened his arms and smiled softly as you scooched into them, letting your own arms warp around his back, tracing lazy circle in the afterglow as he kissed your forehead.

“You know, I’m glad we got engaged.” You mumbled sleepily and he couldn’t’ help but laugh.

“Me too songbird. I love you.”

"I love you too.”

This as a good start to your new life. You couldn’t help but think as you drifted off into the arms of your finacee.

#tokoyami fumikage #tokoyami fuikage x reader #bnha #bnha smut #bnha imagine #mha imagine #server collab #mha imagines #mha smut #tokoyami #tokoyami imagine #tokoyami fumikage imagine

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hargrove-mayfields · 3 years

Text

I haven’t been able to write a whole lot recently so to make up for the little drought here’s a few kegboys hcs!

-Tommy has a big thing for 70s country music, it’s like, all he’ll listen to. Steve’s kind of overexposed to country having grown up in IN so he’s pretty neutral on it even though he prefers pop, but Billy, resident metal head and city boy through and through, tries to poke fun at him for it because like, country music is for uncool hicks, right? But, and this is very much to his dismay, Billy cannot get enough of Dolly. Like he really couldn’t care less about Toms other picks but he is beyond hooked on Dolly to the point that he’s the one buying all her new records when they come out.

-Tommy is absolutely the house husband because the other two are honest to god domestically useless. Billy tries really, really hard to help because Steve goes to work and he feels like he’s lazy for not being able to do much while he’s recovering, so Tommy sticks him with the little jobs because he knows he’s never going to get him to agree to actually resting. It’ll just be little tasks, things like cleaning the lint trap when Tom switches the laundry, but it’s enough to make him feel less useless.

-But! As good as he is at keeping up with the bills and doing chores, Tommy CANNOT cook. Steve will never ever forget the time he came over to his house and caught popcorn on fire in his microwave or when Billy had to swoop in and unplug the toaster like seconds before Tee electrocuted himself trying to use a fork to fish out a piece poptart that broke off in there, so he is very much not allowed anywhere near a stove. Billy is the best cook and even then he’s a little iffy because Neil never let him do it, so to compensate for how collectively awful they are in the kitchen they have like a thousand scribbled in cookbooks in every drawer and pantry.

-They all three have very different sleeping habits. Billy’s the early bird, always gets up at the same time as the sun well-rested no matter what time they went to bed. Steve is a deep sleeper through and through, he’ll pass out at like, 11:00 every night and won’t move again until morning. If nobody were to wake him up he could probably sleep all through an entire day. Tommy’s something of a rough sleeper though, can’t usually get to sleep until at least two in the morning, usually later than that even, and once he gets to sleep it’s very light and he tends to wake up every hour, on the hour. One time when Steve’s at the pharmacy picking up Billy's meds he grabs a little thing of melatonin for Tom because like, it says it boosts sleep and anything’s worth a shot if it means Tommy won’t be so exhausted and sick and frustrated all the time, and it does help! He sort of ends up on about the same sleep schedule as Billy once his rhythm gets a little more regulated.

-When they first started dating, Billy thought Steve was bad when it came to clothes stealing, he lost a few jackets and old t-shirts that way, but when they all three move in together he discovers that Tommy is the true culprit. Neither he nor Steve can keep track of literally any single piece of clothing. Everything, from their hoodies to their jeans to their pjs to their socks, all belong in some part to Tom until eventually they just have one community wardrobe they pick and choose from instead of like, individual clothes.

-They all three overuse the heck out of pet names like baby and babe, which results in Steve calling Tommy babe one and Billy babe two because he was tired of saying like “hey babe” and getting two simultaneous answers.

-Tommy does Billy’s hair for him when he still can’t do too much with his hands, and after that too when it’s convenient because it becomes routine, combing out his curls and putting mousse in it when he wants it done nice, because he wants to be a hairdresser anyways! He’d practiced plenty on Steve ever since they were in middle school, given him tons of hair cuts and even his highlights! It’s for that reason that when Tommy starts doing Billy’s hair, Steve gets the teensiest bit jealous because that used to be him. So everytime they go anywhere and they aren’t crunched for time he has to do both Billy and Steve’s hair and he starts not having time to straighten his own! But! That’s okay because his boys are very fond of his natural curls!

-Steve runs very, very cold always. He’s a type one diabetic so he’s pretty much always anemic and he freezes like 24/7. Even in the summer when Billy and Tommy are like melting into the furniture, he can get away with long sleeves and be just fine. When they’re in bed they keep Steve in the middle because they both run super warm like a heat register and it’d get too hot without having Steve as their ice pack between them.

-More about Steve’s diabetes bc it’s like one of my fav hcs and I wish I could write about it more! It’s really hard to find things for him to eat because he’s gotta worry about his sugar, but also because he has so many food allergies and sensitivities on top of that. Before he had anyone around he just kind of didn’t care about watching himself like, if he wanted to eat something, he would just do it, but he ultimately faced the consequences of that a few times too many, aka being hospitalized twice with DKA and three times with anaphylactic shock. he gets banned from grocery shopping on his own, because he will absolutely buy so much stuff he isn’t supposed to have and ‘lose’ the receipt and just hide the stuff because his boys will not let him eat whatever he wants anymore. Billy is also not allowed to go shopping because he never remembers what brands they use or reads any labels, he just grabs the first of everything he sees and calls it a day. Tommy officially gave up on them and started doing it himself after confiscating a half empty bag of gummy bears off of Steve and having to use the wrong toothpaste for months because Billy refused to pay attention.

-Tommy attracts strays! Cats, dogs, an actual escaped budgie from the neighbors house once, it doesn’t matter, somehow they always find him. If he’s out on the porch there’s like, a ninety percent chance there’s a critter that doesn’t belong to them in his lap. He lets Billy name them all even though they can’t keep them. Tommy personally can’t pick a favorite out of the 20 some odd cats that come and go because they’re all his babies, but Billy and Steve have theirs. B’s favorite is a black and white little fella named Mr. Shrimp and Steve’s is a sweet tabby girl named Meowzers! The rule doesn't only apply to domesticated animals either, raccoons and wild bunnies also tend to lurk around their porch. Billy picks up a raccoon once (he named her Poubelle, but calls her Bella) and Steve yelled at him for hours about how dangerous and irresponsible and gross it was. Him and Tommy get boyfriend grounded for like, weeks after that.

-Steve is like everyone’s Midwestern grandma! He keeps pockets full of butterscotch candies and tissues, he’s got a collection of blow molds and Tiffany lamps, he wears sweatshirts and jackets with weird quotes on them and like, he believes the cure to every ailment is tomato soup, vicks, a wash rag, and a kiss or any combination thereof. It drives Billy completely up the wall, because he’ll cough like once and Steve is like do you need soup? do you need a doctor? please let me help you. But Tommy likes it, being fussed over, cause he grew up with younger siblings and two working parents, so he was always the one doing the fussing.

#kegboys #steve x billy x tommy #ej writer #my headcanons are always very specific and weird but like I gotta info dump on y’all real quick #realizing now that I only currently have one kegboys fic in progress and that’s like a crime? jeez ej get ur priorities in check #under the cut because I’m long winded and annoying :-)

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kimjoongs · 4 years

Text

ateez as fanfic aus/tropes

hongjoong ; fantasy au

he’s the innkeeper

well-renowned amongst the townspeople for being the purest soul in the kingdom

secretely a mage but he tries to pass off as a human for safety purposes

loves to tell stories to the children outside the inn, and if he’s careful enough, he’ll use magic to make his stories a little more entertaining

owns a pet bird who likes to perch on his shoulder

knows all the dirt and gossip about each and every person in the kingdom and stores them away should he ever need them in the future

he has a journal that he carries around everywhere and it’s filled with drawings of the townspeople, forest creatures, flora, buildings, etc

lowkey (highkey) fancies the tea shop owner (aka you) down the street but is too shy to say anything

seonghwa ; reincarnation au

he was a prince in his first life, about ready to take his rightful place on the throne before he was chased out of the kingdom by his brother

he was reborn as a painter in his next one, creating art from the memories of his past life

loves looking back on his work that he created in his past life

in his next life he meets you, an amateur writer

you two fall in love and promise to meet each other in your next life

you’d leave hidden messages in your novels that only seonghwa knew about

and seonghwa would scavenge high and low to find you

yunho ; college au

he’s a broadcasting major who also happens to be captain of the dance club

everyone loves him because he’s always seen running through campus with a huge smile on his face

likes to coop up in one of the library study rooms during exam week

it may look like he’s studying hard, but really he’s just watching puppy videos on his phone

one time yunho was running late to class so there were barely any open seats left when he got there

you offered to let him sit in the seat next to you and he never sat anywhere else after that

he really really liked you so one day, just as class was ending, he dropped a piece of paper into your lap and dashed out before you could ask him what it was

spoiler: it was his number and the words “study date? :)”

yeosang ; childhood friends to lovers au

you were the new kid at school and yeosang was your first friend

you two did everything together and were practically joined at the hip

he always acts like he’s annoyed with you but the second he senses something is wrong, he’s the first one there

the type to send you a meme at 3am and be like “this is you”

wanted to confess to you for sooooo long but he was nervous and didn’t wanna risk jeopardizing your friendship

so it came as a surprise when you confessed to him first and he just ??? yeosang.exe has stopped working

nothing really changes btwn you too when you start dating except for the fact that there’s more cuddles and kisses involved

san ; soulmate au

a universe where you can hear everything your soulmate is thinking

just from his thoughts alone, you found out that san volunteers at the local animal shelter and really really cannot stand his english professor

sometimes he’ll slip up and start thinking about his soulmate and forgets that you can hear him

he’s pretty mischievous so when you ask him where’s from, he’ll just be like “nah not telling you”

you get back at him by purposely ignoring his thoughts and refusing to have a conversation with him

san’s the only one who knows about your deepest secrets and he promises to keep them safe

the first time you guys meet, the first thing san thinks when he sees you is: whoa...i’m in love

mingi ; coffee shop au

the cute barista who likes to leave sweet notes on the customers’ cups

it’s become his brand now and all of the regulars eagerly look forward to whatever message mingi writes on their cup

he wears these cute round glasses and his hair is always styles down in curls and makes everyone in the shop feel incredibly endeared

very close with his co-workers and likes to give them hugs sometimes because working in the food industry can be taxing

you’re one of the regulars at the shop and ofc mingi has a huge mf crush on you

he knows you like the muffins a lot so he always makes sure to keep one for you

shoots his shot by drawing a heart next on your cup and thank god you you knew what it meant

wooyoung ; rock band au

he plays the bass guitar

is always wearing either a sleeveless tshirt or hoodie there is no inbetween

wooyoung didn’t like his short hair so he grew it out and always tied it back during practice

super super charismatic at shows, never staying in one spot for more than a few seconds and going up to his bandmates to play together

his pre-show ritual consists of running up and down the stage and his bandmates think it’s ridiculous but if it works for him then so be it

likes to send you winks and smirks when he notices you watching from backstage and it makes you weak in the knees

you customized a pick for him and you best bet wooyoung treasures that thing more than anything, he never goes on stage without it

jongho ; enemies to lovers au

he lives in the apartment next to yours and is a l w a y s singing at the top of his lungs every night

you knocked on his door and asked him to stop but he was like no sorry

every night whenever he started singing, you would bang on the wall with your fist and the two of you would just go back and forth until someone got tired

but for a whole week straight, not once did you hear jongho whisper even a single note and tbh you should’ve been happy about it but...you couldn’t help but feel worried

so once again you knocked on his door to which jongho opened it and frown because he looks so....heartbroken?

you later find out that the person jongho looked up to said they didn’t like his voice and he’s been in a slump ever since

and okay yes you were annoyed that he would not shut up at night, but you did think he had a nice voice and encouraged him to keep singing

maybe you were in over your head, but you figured it was worth telling him when you heard his familiar voice permeate through your walls later that night

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dustedmagazine · 3 years

Text

Dust Volume 7, Number 3

Black Country, New Road

One of the funniest parts of Martin Amis’ Inside Story concerns an up-and-coming novelist, constantly asked at literary festivals to differentiate between his short stories and novels and just as consistently coming up with new ways to say that the short stories are, well, shorter. Same deal with Dust. These abbreviated reviews are, indeed, shorter than the full-lengths, but otherwise well worth reading. And, hoo boy, are there a lot of them this time. Contributors include Ian Mathers, Jennifer Kelly, Bill Meyer, Tim Clarke, Patrick Masterson, Arthur Krumins, Eric McDowell, Justin Cober-Lake, Andrew Forell, Ray Garraty, Jonathan Shaw and Bryon Hayes.

Aarktica and Black Tape for a Blue Girl — Eating Rose Petals (Projekt: Archive)

Eating Rose Petals by Aarktica and Black Tape for a Blue Girl

Aarktica’s Jon DeRosa and Black Tape for a Blue Girl’s Sam Rosenthal have known each other for a long time, but this release is the first time they’ve actually worked together. Rosenthal was so struck by the title song, one of the few from Aarktica’s 2019 release Mareación to feature DeRosa’s vocals, that with the latter’s permission and participation he created the almost 19-minute “Fleeting Rose Petals”, which features the original track backwards with wordless additional vocals from DeRosa, plus additional material by Rosenthal before and after it. The original (also included here, along with the closing “Valley of the Roses” which features Rosenthal further reworking the additional material from “Fleeting Rose Petals”) already felt like a single lambent moment in time suspended and held, and by reworking and reconfiguring that material over a full 37-minute span that effect is only intensified.

Ian Mathers

Altaat & Euter — Split (Ikuisuus)

split by Altaat / Euter

Two experimental drone outfits from Finland play extended abstract compositions on this split LP. Altaat’s sidelong “Palava Palaava” sounds like an orchestra tuning up in a wind tunnel as it splices long bowed tones with the rush and whir of large machinery. But however, chaotic that may sound, the actual effect is quite serene, the om of dissonant overtones melting into a white noise background of rattling, humming, whooshing mechanical sounds. Altaat’s Niko Karlsson and Miki Brunou, along with Jari Koho, subsume the noisy clatter of the post-industrial era into a dream-like, beckoning hiss. Euter, also a duo but not willing to give up personal names, works a less organically grounded sound, filling an expansive, echoey space with chortling, wobbling synth cadences, metallic clangs and staticky, between-stations blare. The long “Slowly Underwater,” unfolds in chilly surreality. You get the sense of vast metal furnaces blowing out corrosive chemical clouds, of mechanical sensors picking up and sending signals and of chittering, hurrying life amid ruins. (No, I’m not hearing anything especially watery.) “Magnetic Mammals,” which follows, is similarly machine-like and ominous, picking up vast, sirening sounds as if from a distance with bubbling bursts of radio interference in the foreground. Altaat’s side is certainly closer to conventional Western classical music, but Euter finds some intriguing, disquieting spaces. Makes you wonder what they’re putting in the water up there in reindeer land.

Jennifer Kelly

Rrill Bell — Ballad of the External Life (Elevator Bath)

ballad of the external life by Rrill Bell ////// aka The Preterite

One of the challenges of early electronic music was its labor intensity; it could take months of recording, processing, card-punching and pondering to come up with a few minutes of music. But tools change, and with them, opportunities for access open up. The music of Rrill Bell, a German-based American musician, makes that lengthy process shake hands with instant performance. Originally trained as a percussionist, he works mainly with tapes, which he records, uses in performance, and in the course of performance, records over and re-uses again. But in concert, he tends to improvise with these materials, making split-second decisions that occasionally get preserved for potential re-visiting.

If that sounds like a recipe for frenetic sonic action, it’s not. Mr. Bell’s tastes in original sounds tend towards bells and environmental captures, and he rarely crowds the mix. Tones squiggle and unspool, unidentifiable bumps appear and disappear, and birds chirp at the periphery. It’s easy to characterize this as ambient music, since a low-volume listen is pleasant but undemanding. But keep in mind that successful ambient music must be interesting as well as ignorable, and the dream-like sound walk of Ballad of the External Life still delivers.

Bill Meyer

Black Country, New Road — For the First Time (Ninja Tune)

For the first time by Black Country, New Road

“Sunglasses” erupts out of a blare of feedback, a roar of guitar noise that splinters and disintegrates as you trace its melody. Synths sound like police sirens. It’s all very slow and ominous, and for a minute, all those Slint comparisons make sense. And then it resolves into something like an indie rock song, spoke-sung over thunderous drums by one Isaac Wood, he of the tremulous voice and the unreliable narrative, whose art song proclivities may bring bands like Wild Beasts to mind, though without the fey falsetto. The song is a marvel of bravado and doubt, working the soft seam between ordinary male adolescence and mental illness, and the sunglasses play a key part. Says Wood, “I am looking at you with my best eyes and I wish you could tell/I wish all my kids would stop dressing up like Richard Hell/I am locked away in a high-tech/Wraparound, translucent, blue-tinted fortress/And you cannot touch me.” (Also, later, “I am more than adequate/Leave Kanye out of it,” which strikes me as brilliant for reasons I can’t fathom.) The point is that there are startling, riveting lyrics here, of the sort that you could make a case for leaving it unadorned, but Black Country, New Road is not interested in simplicity. The rather large ensemble includes not just the regular rock instruments but saxophone, violin and synths, all knotted up in proggy complexities and paced by a drummer (Charlie Wayne) good enough to give Black Midi’s Morgan Simpson a run for his money (the two bands are aligned and friends and Black Midi gets a name check in one of the songs). Indeed, the opening track of this six-cut collection is aptly titled “Instrumental,” a whirling gypsy klezmer cubist fantasy that is, if anything, nervier and more complicated than the vocal tracks. This is exciting, volatile stuff that could go anywhere from here.

Jennifer Kelly

Deniz Cuylan — No Such Thing As Free Will (Hush Hush)

No Such Thing As Free Will by Deniz Cuylan

Everything about Deniz Cuylan’s solo debut is understated. Six instrumental tracks running to just 27 minutes, released on the fittingly named Hush Hush Records, No Such Thing As Free Will seeks to evoke something subtle and universal out of minimal ingredients. There’s a robust architecture to this music, generating a sober, contemplative mood. Arpeggios on nylon-string classical guitar cycle around in precise arcs, gently bolstered by piano, clarinet and cello. The space in opener “Clearing” shyly invites the listener in; the record reaches a modest peak in the bright harmonics of “She Was Always Here” and the almost joyful elegance of “Flaneurs in Hakone”; then the music recedes into a melancholic fog on the closing title track. It’s telling, therefore, that Cuylan has worked as a soundtrack composer — his music feels complementary, receding modestly into life’s scenery rather than commanding the spotlight.

Tim Clarke

Arnold de Boer — Minimal Guitar (Makkum)

MINIMAL GUITAR by arnolddeboer

Somedays you just don’t do what you’re supposed to do. At the end of the last summer, Arnold de Boer decided to extend his holiday by a day and take a walk around town. When he got back home, he sat down, picked up an instrument and listened to the music that came out of his fingers. The music was no more expected than the activity that preceded it. Instead of the rough, voltage-enhanced intricacy of the music he plays with The Ex or his one-man band, Zea, de Boer played a set of acoustic guitar solos. Neither ostentatious nor self-consciously rustic, de Boer’s playing tends to zero in on an idea and see where it wants to go. Each rhythmic pattern, decaying harmonic, or rap on the body proposes an idea, which de Boer either explores or restates with minimal variation. Ah, there’s that word. This isn’t a study in minimalism, but an appreciation of how little you need to do if the original idea is sound.

Bill Meyer

Dusk + Blackdown — Rinse FM Mix January 28, 2021 (Rinse FM)

Rinse FM · Keysound (100% Keysound Production Mix) - 28 January 2021

I’m not sure there’s a place left on the internet better suited to explaining the rise of grime, dubstep and its attendant mutations than Martin Clark’s aging Blogspot under his Blackdown alias. From ground zero in London, Clark has been documenter, eyewitness and participant alike, a true lifer fully evidenced by his longtime partnership with Dan Frampton, aka Dusk, showcasing new music on their monthly Rinse radio show and Keysound Recordings record label. They’re an essential part of the culture, so it’s especially pleasant when they serve up some of their own riches. After the traditional December year-end roundup show, Dusk and Blackdown came roaring out of the gates in January with an all-Keysound broadcast in the middle of the night that features gobs of unreleased rollage over its two hours. It’s a nice reminder that though time may pass, URLs may cut out and memories may dim, some are still putting in the work one release, one radio show, one listen at a time. The sound is the key is right.

Patrick Masterson

EKG — 200 Years Of Electricals (Bandcamp)

200 Years of Electricals by EKG (Ernst Karel & Kyle Bruckmann)

Most things don’t hold their value. Why should time be any different? So, if Gabriel Garcia Marquez wrote 100 Years of Solitude in the 1960s, EKG might as well proclaim 200 Years Of Electricals in 2021. EKG is Kyle Bruckmann (double reeds, analog electronics, organ) and Ernst Karel (analog electronics, microphones). The duo first convened in the mid-1990s, when both men lived in Chicago, and Karel was mainly known as a trumpeter. They’ve carried on in sporadic fashion ever since, playing increasingly rare concerts as each man moved away from his original home base. They’ve turned snippets from these shows into subdued musical constructions, which they’ve issued on a number of compact discs over the years. For their first release in over a decade, the duo, who currently both live in the Bay area, have ditched the trumpet and the physical album format, and incorporated some of the field recordings that have become Karel’s main sound material in his solo work. But in other respects, this effort is every bit as concerned with iteration and inevitability as Marquez’ book. When you flip a switch, something hums. When you layer quiet sounds, they don’t necessarily get louder, but they do exert a stronger magnetism upon your ear. And you when spread your quietness over a vast stretch of silence, efforts to follow the sound inevitably do strange things to your sense of time. Wait, how many years have we been listening to that crackle? Why stop now?

Bill Meyer

Michael Feuerstack — Harmonize the Moon (Forward Music Group)

Harmonize the Moon by Michael Feuerstack

Montreal-based singer-songwriter Michael Feuerstack sweeps aside all extraneous fluff on his new album, Harmonize the Moon, zeroing in on precise finger-picked guitar parts, vivid lyrical imagery and a stark, affecting tone. He has a knack for smuggling blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moments of understated wonder into traditional-sounding folk songs you’ll imagine you’ve heard somewhere before. Indeed, he wryly admits to recycling the past in the opening song: “I used to be a singer, bumping around in the astral plane / Picking up astral trash, to polish it up again.” Though the foundation of guitar and vocals carries most of the weight, there’s tasteful reinforcement from vocal harmonies, electric guitar, lap steel, bass and drums. Amid these clean, spare arrangements, some of the lines stop you in your tracks, like the following from “Too Kind”: “The world is broken mirrors, traps and triggers / And cold blood pools in the kindest eyes.” With 10 finely honed songs running to just over half an hour, everything is measured and rather lovely. (Beautiful cover art, too.)

Tim Clarke

Michael and Peter Formanek — Dyads (Out Of Your Head Records)

Dyads by Michael and Peter Formanek

Virtuoso bassist, stalwart sideman, solid bandleader, fearless improviser, intriguing composer — Michael Formanek is all of those things, but he’s also a cool dad. At least that’s what it looks like from the outside. Not only did he include his son, Peter, in his musical activities from an early age, giving the youngster a chance to sit in with the likes of Tim Berne and Jim Black. Upon Peter’s return home from college, he joined him in a working duo. Dyads is their first recording, and it is testimony to the merits of giving the kid first-hand experience in the family business. Peter, who plays tenor saxophone and clarinet, has learned the merits of having a bold tone, a flexible improvisational approach and a way with a tune. Their performances unfold with a combination of patience and pith, which permits the listener to savor the elegance with which each musician supports the other.

Bill Meyer

Chris Forsyth & the Solar Motel Band — Rare Dreams: Solar Live 2.27.18 (No Quarter)

Rare Dreams: Solar Live 2.27.18 by Chris Forsyth & The Solar Motel Band

Chris Forsyth teams with Sunwatchers Peter Kerlin and Jason Robira at London’s Café OTO for expansive, incendiary jams that will remind you like a physical ache of what you’ve been missing in live music this awful year. “Dream in the Non-Dream” is a wide-horizon, endless vamp, driven ever forward by Kerlin and Robira in lock-sync, while Forsyth ratchets up tension with a car jack, then spins it off in wreckless, fiery abandon. “The First Ten Minutes of Cocksucker Blues” similarly balances rigor and open-ended-ness, marking off the measures with a hammering, repetitive cadence that becomes a mantra over time. There are also two Neil Young covers, both tending towards the electrified, Crazy Horse side of things, a slow by blistering “Don’t Be Denied” and a raucous “Barstool Blues” from Zuma. It’s all great stuff, and it might hold you for a month or two until we can all crowd up to the stage again.

Jennifer Kelly

Alexander Hawkins — Togetherness Music (Intakt)

Togetherness Music by Alexander Hawkins

Whether you listen to him in duos with Evan Parker or Tomeka Reid, small bands like the Chicago/London Underground or Decoy, or leading his own ensembles, English keyboardist Alexander Hawkins accompanies and improvises with an astute perception of the situation’s requirements. The title Togetherness Music can be taken several ways. The six-part suite combines parts from two different commissioned pieces, and it brings together elements of free and conducted improvisation, scored chamber music, and some discrete electronic interventions. Passages showcasing Evan Parker’s intricate soprano saxophone lines and Mark Sanders’ kinetic percussion contrast and coexist with rich and patiently evolving string passages executed by the Riot Ensemble. This music feels less like a sum of differing approaches than the expression of a cohesive in which all Hawkins’ good ideas fit together.

Bill Meyer

Russell Hoke — The Melancholy Traveller (Round Bale Recordings)

The Melancholy Traveler by Russell Hoke

This release follows up on the archival compilation A Voice From the Lonesome Playground from 2016 of Hoke’s material from small run releases of the 1980’s. With the new material here, Hoke delves into the unadulterated sound of voice and guitar or banjo, with mainly his own songs of loneliness and also the singularly bittersweet moments of existing as yourself, free and detached from society. Also covering two beautiful takes on Sandy Denny songs, which fit into the UK/US traditional direction of the rest. The album rests in the same delicate territory as other folkies such as Connie Converse, Jackson C. Frank, or even the more sedate songs of Daniel Johnston. What brings the album together is the expressiveness in any given moment of a song. The tact and execution consistently bring the emotion of the songwriting home.

Arthur Krumins

In Layers — Pliable (FMR)

Pliable by In Layers

In Layers puts up a middle finger against anyone who thinks that European unity is a passed fancy. The quartet’s members come from Portugal, Iceland and Holland, and their collective experience encompasses Nordic music theatre, lyric free jazz and the tooth-powderingly loud trio, Cactus Truck. But the music they make doesn’t really sound like any of that. Guitarist Marcelo Dos Reis, drummer Onno Govaert, pianist Kristján Martinsson and trumpeter Luís Vicente improvise music that is spacious enough to frustrate viral transmission, but composed of elements hefty enough to tip a scale. There’s plenty of bravura playing, but the displays are subordinate to the music’s abstract cohesion. You won’t hum it, but you won’t forget it, either.

Bill Meyer

Just For the Record: Conversations With and About “Blue” Gene Tyranny

Composer, writer and pianist Robert Sheff, better known as “Blue” Gene Tyranny, collaborator with everyone from Iggy Pop to Robert Ashley, passed away at the end of 2020. Just before that, David Bernabo’s documentary about Tyranny’s life and work, and more generally about the avant garde world Tyranny was a vital part of, how much of it almost vanished and the ways it continues to be vibrant even today, was released. For a while Just For the Record was available to rent, but this year Bernabo made it available for free on UbuWeb Film. It’s a wonderful watch for anyone who’s a fan of “Blue” Gene’s work, for sure. The conversations with him are near the end of his life, but his evident joy in music and art and people shines through, and the conversations with Joan La Barbara, David Grubbs, Kyle Gann and others cast new light on both his history and work and importance and the group of artists that he worked with and around. There’s so much here you almost wish for a miniseries instead (one episode on reissue labels and blogs, one on Robert Ashley’s operas, one on Tyranny’s time as a Stooge…), but given how overlooked artists like “Blue” Gene Tyranny often are, it still feels like a gift to have what’s here.

Ian Mathers

Kariu Kenji — Sekai (Bruit Direct Disques)

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Sekai is a COVID-era exercise in circumstantial lemonade-making. Kariu Kenji’s band, OWKMJ, executes intricate, quick-changing jazz rock with aplomb. Stuck alone at home, he has made a solo record that never betrays his prodigious dexterity as a guitarist. Instead, Kenji has fashioned an album of low-key, keyboard-heavy bedroom pop. It is low key, almost to a fault, since you could easily miss the subtle fault lines between clean and distorted sounds, let alone the moments when he unobtrusively pulls the rhythmic rug out from under a song. The songs poetically render small memories and quietly absurd scenarios, which are considerately translated for the benefit of people who won’t understand Kenji’s all-Japanese crooning.

Bill Meyer

Kid Congo and the Pink Monkeybirds — Swing from the Sean Delear (In the Red)

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Kid Congo Powers has been in more great bands than anyone I can think of — The Cramps and The Gun Club to start with, but also Nick Cave’s Bad Seeds, Divine Horsemen and, just last year, the Wolfmanhattan Project with Mick Collins and Bob Bert. That’s exalted company all round, and his latest, with Pink Monkeybirds, is no slouch alongside any of them. It begins with a vamping, churning, soul-funk-psychedelic “Sean DeLear,” which commemorates the recently deceased Bay Area punk-fashion icon in exultant, chandelier-swinging style. All three side one cuts are bangers, spinning out Sam & Dave bass-and-drum foundations into dayglow garage extravaganzas, but the 14-minute b-side “He Walked In” takes things in another direction, slowing the pace down and letting the music smoulder, a trippy hippy flute weaving through heat-shimmered desert psychedelia. Like the opener, it’s an elegy, this time to Gun Club front man, Jeffrey Lee Pierce, a haunted surf rock dreamscape where spirits dwell.

Jennifer Kelly

Katy Kirby — Cool Dry Place (Keeled Scales)

Cool Dry Place by Katy Kirby

Katy Kirby makes a stripped down, lofi pop that aspires to bigger things. Even low-key, acoustic strummed, bedroom ballads like “Eyelids” are always on the verge of busting out into flute-y, melismatic diva choruses. Even the tender “Cool Dry Place,” dreams of a big pop payoff and gets there in the end. And the single “Traffic!” is strung through with the tension between its muted, all-natural melody and the crescendoing climax that waits at the end. Here Kirby’s plain, wholesome voice gets threaded with fluttering autotune, not because she can’t hit the notes, but because that’s how big pop songs sound. This is the opposite of Katy Perry doing carpool karaoke. It’s acoustic, unadorned versions of songs that long for mainstream gloss and glamor.

Jennifer Kelly

The Koreatown Oddity — “Breastmilk” b/w “My Name Is Dominique” (Stones Throw)

Breastmilk by The Koreatown Oddity

“I got the hook-up from my baby mama / While you fetish freaks get it off the black market.” If the cover art left any room for doubt, the lyrics soon make it clear that Dominique Purdy’s approach to the subject of his latest single is every bit as literal as it is cartoonish. While albums like last year’s Little Dominiques Nosebleed put the Koreatown Oddity’s powers as a storyteller on full display, the rapper’s rhetorical mode here is ostensibly argumentative, with appeals to the all-naturalness — and deliciousness — of his preferred “regimen”:“You looking at me like I’m a strange human / But you drinking cow’s milk — fuck is you doing?” In the space of just two and a half minutes, he also achieves a hilarious upending of a range of hip-hop tropes, from the objectification of women to the glorification of illicit substances, not to mention MC braggadocio. There may even be a comment on fatherhood in there, too, for anyone who really wants to go looking.

The b-side of the 7” offers something different altogether, a stiff-legged but hypnotic beat beset by periodic electronic splatters and the somewhat manic refrain: “My name is Dominique and I’m a fresh musician.” Indeed.

Eric McDowell

Bobby Lee — Origin Myths (Tompkins Square)

Origin Myths by Bobby Lee

A swamp-gassed shimmer hangs over Bobby Lee’s electric blues, as notes bloom and waver and subside like ghostly lights in a humid dusk. Bobby Lee, the man, lives in Sheffield, England, but his music dwells in some lysergic delta, in the south but not entirely of it or anywhere else. Listen to the way that notes flicker in the steady runs of “Broken Prayer Stick,” a regular cadence of them left to warp and wander in steamy sunshine. Or the way that sustained tones drift like seaweed in “Looking for Pine and Obsidian,” losing themselves in thickets of overtone and echo. Bobby Lee would likely find a kindred spirit in Tarotplane’s PJ Dorsey or in William Tyler in a transcendental mood. Like them, his blues drift towards revelation but very, very slowly.

Jennifer Kelly

Nashville Ambient Ensemble — Cerulean (Centripetal Force)

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Thinking of Nashville doesn't typically bring to mind ambient music, nor does the image of pedal steel guitar typically suggest the work of an electronic composer. Nashville Ambient Ensemble, though, mixes those elements. What makes the group's debut album Cerulean feel special isn't its oddness — other acts, of course, do this sort of dreamy work — but that the Nashville elements remain so present. Pedal steel player Luke Schneider does much of the work to create that feel. The instrument itself has long since moved out of its traditional settings (a quick dip into the music of Susan Alcorn, for example, can prompt a fun rabbit trail of the guitar far removed from Western swing), but composer Michael Hix and this group enjoyably maintain the country signifiers even while moving into far spacier terrain. Some of the album pushes toward psychedelic swirls, but the ensemble restrains these gestures. As they head west out of Nashville, they resist simply playing a given genre with a gimmick. Cerulean isn't spaced out country, and it isn't twanged-up ambient. Instead, the group develops its own curious space.

Justin Cober-Lake

Neutrals — "Personal Computing” b/w “In the Future” (Slumberland)

Personal Computing by neutrals

The clever punk lifers in Neutrals upload two incisive songs about technology here. The a-side, “Personal Technology,” bashes antically through a tale of a young man with an, ahem, very committed relationship with computer paraphernalia, amid crashing, Clash-like chords and rumbling bass and drums. As noted when Neutrals’ 2020 EP Rent/Your House pried Dusted’s Jonathan Shaw away from black metal mid-last year, the front-person Allan McNaughton retains a Glaswegian accent, despite decades stateside, which gives these two cuts a rough Northern post-punk glamor. But the obsession with last year’s state-of-the-art, the excruciating torture of “loading,” is all Silicon Valley, enjoying BDSM with its peripherals. The b-side takes a somewhat more expansive view of technology, asking a la Dan Melchior what happened to the flying cars we were promised. Both are sharp and stinging and utterly catchy. I’d call it old school except for its fascination with the new.

Jennifer Kelly

Nun Gun — Mondo Decay (Algiers Recordings/Witty Books)

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Mondo Decay is the audio component of a recent collaboration between Algiers’ multi-instrumentalist Lee Tesche and visual artist Brad Feuerheim (who drums on four of the tracks). The two bonded over a mutual love of 1970s Italian cannibal zombie films and their soundtracks. Joined by fellow Algiers member Ryan Mahan and a roster of guest vocalists including Mark Stewart (The Pop Group), ONO and Mourning [A] BLKstar, Tesche reconfigures the soundtracks to make explicit the connections between present conditions and the socio-political turmoil that informed the original films. Musically that means claustrophobic dub inflected industrial grind, hip-hop influenced cut-ups, mutant disco and plenty of noirish saxophone. Nun Gun emphasizes atmospheric atrophy and deliberate decay with great and pointed effect to create a terrifically dark soundtrack to accompany the book of Feuerheim’s bleak photographs of post-industrial malaise.

Andrew Forell

Oui Ennui — Virga/Recrudescence (self-released)

Virga/Recrudescence by Oui Ennui

In the words that accompany the release of Jonn Wallen’s second album of 2021, he says that “when rationalizing yet another synthesizer purchase, I've often remarked to myself, ‘Well why wouldn't I want that color? I'll have it.’” It’s that attachment to messing around with new toys, a mass of streaks of rain appearing to hang under a cloud and evaporating before reaching the ground (“Virga”), the recurrence of an undesirable condition (“Recrudescence”), and what seems to be a whole lot of Brian Eno (“Oblique Strategies”) that informs these two extended avant-garde digressions. “Virga” is a roaring 24-minute star birth that veers into plinking helicopter rotaries without warning at one point, while “Recrudescence” covers more ground both literal (it’s 39 minutes) and figurative (woodland creatures, Space Age percolations and various rhythms sprout up throughout). Likely better experienced at high volume in a small club setting, we’ll have to settle instead for our headphones barely handling another intriguing development in the ongoing Oui Ennui experiment. How long before DFA co-founder Jonathan Galkin stops lurking in his Bandcamp buys and starts offering him a deal, I wonder?

Patrick Masterson

Payroll Giovanni \ Cardo — Another Day Another Dollar (BYLUG Entertainment)

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At some point in his career, Payroll Giovanni switched from worker to boss. His new album with the producer Cardo is another chapter in the Boss of All Bosses saga. Songs on the CD approximate the language of business manuals and the cheap sloganeering of workers union reps. Work harder, save more, invest, save again — the usual tips handed down to the unfortunate few who didn’t make it like Payroll did. By the middle of the album, you start to feel like you are at a stakeholders meeting where the CEO went for rapping instead of a PowerPoint presentation. When the rapper fails, it’s hardly the producer’s fault, so Cardo just plays up to Payroll with lazy, muzak-ish beats.

Ray Garraty

Rio da Yung Og \ Nuez — Life of a Yung Og (Southern Giants/Ghetto Boyz)

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Rio da Yung Og has been working with a lot of producers (and quite a few of them later got their fame because of it), but up until now he hasn’t released a collaboration with a single producer. His EP with Nuez came out of nowhere but it is a nice change of beats. Up to now, Rio has mostly recorded his raps with very bassy beats. Nuez provides a Southern vibe, more relaxed and less heavy on the bass, which allows to Rio shine. At this point it’s evident that Rio da Yung Og saves his best lines for his solo work (just compare this EP with simultaneously released Heatcheck EP, a collaborative work with artists of varying degrees of talent). In fact, the whole 21 minutes seem to be recorded in one single sleepless studio session with Rio freestyling his way through under the heavy influence of lean. This is Rio at his most desperate, just before his five-year bid in the federal pen. On “Whatchu Need” and “Last Call” (thanks to Nuez’s production) he sounds close to the early Scarface in a paranoid mode.

Ray Garraty

Ben Roidl-Ward and Zachary Good — arb (Carrier)

arb by Zachary Good and Ben Roidl-Ward

A decade back, bassoonist Ben Roidl-Ward and clarinetist Zachary Good were students at Oberlin College. The two friends formed a duo, The Arboretum, which performed new works. Nowadays they teach and perform separately, but share an apartment in Chicago. When the city got locked down and their gigs dried up, they revived the band, after a fashion. The six pieces on arb (named after that first project), which clocks in at just under half an hour, focus on a single musical phenomenon. Each musician plays sustained multiphonics (a technique whereby a horn player sings or hums a note while playing another) that are pitched close enough that their sounds interfere as well as blend with one another. The interactions can be dramatic; on “Guby,” the clarinet sounds like it is keying morse code into the fabric of the bassoon’s timbres. Listening to this music is a bit like staring at a heat mirage; the harder and longer you focus, the less certain you are of your own perceptions.

Bill Meyer.

Rotura — Estamos Fracasando (Self-released)

Estamos fracasando by Rotura

This new EP of melodic anarcho-punk from Barcelona is deceptively breezy stuff. Rotura’s guitars have some crunch and the rhythm section is tight — think Subhumans c. Rats meets Orange County in 1982. But the alto vocals of Silvia (no last names provided) are clean and tuneful, and there are seductive hooks galore. All the musical excitements and pleasures contrast with the intense reports of misery and struggle in the lyrics. “Pisadas (Confinament)” sounds like a COVID-period song, documenting the sound of footsteps resounding through a network of deserted streets and abandoned shops; “Sobrevivir”engages the manifold alienations and inhumanities that attend the refugee crisis in Europe’s Mediterranean nations. Upbeats subjects, those ain’t. But the music keeps your hips shaking and your head nodding. Rotura constructs lively sonic spaces in which to encounter some sharply political punk discourse. One of the EP’s best songs is “Palabras,” which sets to music a poem included in Svetlana Alexandrovna Alexievich’s The Unwomanly Face of War (1987); like much of that book, “Palabras” speaks in the voice of a female combat veteran of the Soviet Army, one who served in World War II. It’s a terrific song, from a very good punk record.

Jonathan Shaw

Sahara — The Curse (Regain Records)

The Curse by Sahara

Argentine miscreants Sahara bill themselves as a “stoner doom” band, and one wonders why anybody would willingly self-apply a label so surpassingly stupid to music they made and presumably care about. The middle-schooler-with-a-magic-marker degree of technical polish on the art for the cassette’s j-card doubles down on the crispy-fried semiotics — but sort of lovably so. This reviewer was rather charmed. If you can penetrate the choking layers of weed smoke and unironic hesherdom to press play, you may be pleasantly surprised. Sahara’s songs don’t evoke Kyuss or Acid Witch nearly so much as Blue Cheer, and that’s a really good thing. It’s power-trio, bluesy-boogie music, played by dudes who cut their teeth on Master of Reality and No Sleep ‘til Hammersmith (with just a little Physical Graffiti in the mix, for the boogie). While no wheels are being reinvented (or competently balanced, for that matter), there’s a winning rawker quality to the enterprise, kicked up a notch or three by the unambiguously great time these guys are having playing the tunes. It won’t be for everyone: it sounds like it was recorded in someone’s Dad’s garage, and the songs have titles like “Altar of Sacrifice” and “The Curse (instrumental).” But if you love the fact that they included “(instrumental)” in parens, it could be for you. Buyer beware: when listening, you may find yourself suddenly craving a sheet of brownies. The entire sheet.

Jonathan Shaw

Bernard Santacruz / Michael Zerang — Cardinal Point (Fundacja Sluchaj)

Cardinal Point by Bernard Santacruz & Michael Zerang

French bassist Bernard Santacruz and Assyrian-American percussionist Michael Zerang have encountered each other in larger ensembles on either side of the ocean since the turn of the century, but it took them until the autumn of 2019 to record a distillation of their musical concord. Beyond their shared history, they are matched in depth of experience. Both were born in the latter half of the 1950s, and each has passed through a myriad of improvisational settings on their way to developing their respective styles. Santacruz is an economical player with a beautiful, rounded tone. Zerang can supply whatever rhythm you need, but whenever freed from time-keeping requirements, he gravitates to sounds that project the movement and friction required to make them. So, while this is a record made with drums and a double bass, it’s by no means a groove-bound affair; melodic fragments confront seething ruptures, and strings and skins knot together into thickets of texture. Each man maintains his individuality while they jointly solve the problems of collaborative music-making.

Bill Meyer

Ignaz Schick & Oliver Steidle — ILOG2 (Zarek)

ILOG2 by Ignaz Schick & Oliver Steidle

These two German gentlemen lay down a bizarre yet intriguing hybrid of free jazz, hip hop and musique concrète on their sophomore effort as a duo. Schick is a serial collaborator who divides his time between turntablism and saxophone skronk. Steidle, on the other hand, is rooted in the free jazz world as a drummer. Together they conjure two distinct modes: ADHD-inspired percussion-and-noise workouts and atmospheric electronics-forward soundscapes. Between these two disparate personalities, the more aggressive one tends to dominate. It’s in this high-energy state that the duo dwells in the worlds of hip hop, jungle and free jazz. Steidle’s drumming is out in front, as he deftly throws himself around the kit with the enthusiasm of Lightning Bolt’s Brian Chippendale. Schick takes an everything-but-the-kitchen-sink approach to noise-making. His Bomb Squad-meets-Pierre Schaeffer method of weaving snippets of speech, instrumental passages, drones, and blasts of noise is the perfect foil for Steidle’s frenetic skin-pounding. Schick and Steidle tug at the outer limits of beat-making with their unusual blend of electro-acoustic sound, and while they let a slight touch of the ethereal temper their blaze, the sparks still fly.

Bryon Hayes

John Tejada — Year Of The Living Dead (Kompakt)

Year Of The Living Dead by John Tejada

On Year Of The Living Dead, John Tejada chases the human through machines, seeking the traces of connection and shadows of loss blurred by the conditions we continue to live through. His minimal dub-inflected techno is immaculately produced and composed rather than constructed. Suffused with warmth and emotional depth, Tejada employs a sonic palette the elasticity of which makes his music generously expansive and resonant. Melancholy chord progressions, heartbeat percussion, a bottom end in turns ominous and cocooning. The 4X4 structure provides a framework in which Tejada is free to focus on the granular aspects of tone, pitch, ebb and flow so that while on the surface his brand of microhouse may sound “all the same” there is both plenty of interest for home listeners and danceable beats for the more active. There’s no abrasion here, no confrontation, little to challenge but Tejada’s music moves along with the relentless soft power of molten molasses.

Andrew Forell

Tree — Soul Trap (self-released)

SOUL TRAP by TREE

Tremaine Johnson is one of those heads who’s been around the block. He’s gotten that MTV airtime, he’s done records with Chris Crack and Vic Spencer, he’s outlasted a car company that sponsored one of his EPs, he’s performed at Pitchfork. But maybe more than anything, the Chicago rapper and producer wants to make sure he doesn’t forget his roots as the father of “soul trap” — and you don’t, either. Following steadily on from 2020’s abbreviated The Blue Tape and nearly two years on from his last proper full-length We Grown Now, Tree has lost none of his step as he rounds 40 years aboard this tainted orb exuding the confidence of a relaxed auteur rowing through verses and songs at his own pace; his sandpaper vocals sound at ease with his beats as he addresses negotiating parenthood, bills, the creation and maintenance of his art. Though these tracks had reportedly been sitting around for years before Soul Trap’s release, listening to this album only goes to serve the greater point that the man has a style out of step and time with his contemporaries. That’s worth more than remembering; it’s worth celebrating.

Patrick Masterson

Dave Tucker / Pat Thomas / Thurston Moore / Mark Sanders — Educated Guess (577 Records)

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Hale, hearty, and steeped in the lore of a multitude of American underground art movements, Thurston Moore always seemed like a guy who was creatively rooted in his native soil. But he seems to have found solid footing since moving to England. On this record, he fits right into an improvising ensemble that is composed of Café Oto regulars. Keyboardist Pat Thomas, drummer Mark Sanders and guitarist and electronic musician Dave Tucker, who convened the quartet, are all long-standing members of London’s improvised music scene. But Moore, a punk from way back when, was probably quite tickled that Tucker played with the Fall for a brief spell in 1981. The sound they develop over the course of this set is pleasingly unbounded, with fragments of monster movie sound design and some jungle-style drum machine beats that could have been pulled from a pirate radio broadcast in 1994 sharing space with cavernous prepared piano, restless percussive exploration, and Moore sounding just like himself, but respectfully restrained when the moment demands.

Bill Meyer

Karima Walker — Waking the Dreaming Body (Keeled Scales)

Waking the Dreaming Body by Karima Walker

Karima Walker’s second album considers the full-ness of empty space. Her songs, if that’s what they are, arise out of soft, slow drones that fluctuate in a natural way, like tides or winds or aurora borealis. They incorporate natural desert sounds captured from near at hand as she locked down in Arizona, and they unfold in a sublimely gradual way as if, like the growth of plants, the movement of continents, the melting of snow, they cannot be rushed but must proceed on their own terms. She sings, a bit, in brief, dream-haunted phrases that seem as distant and unknowable as the organ tones that swell around her. “Reconstellated” best represents her eerie blend of human and electronic sounds, internal dialogue and the wide spaces of the natural world. She murmurs, “Sonoran sky plays a movie/Draw a line to the stars inside of me/Write it down, tell your friends/I know where I am but I can’t tell where I started,” against a blipping, percolating atmosphere. The title track is, by contrast, several orders folkier and more conventional, a gentle conjunction of acoustic guitar and Walker’s clear, trilling soprano, as she considers the way the ineffable intersects with the mundane. “Seems every morning starts the same way, waking the dreaming body,” she croons in this track near the end of the album, coming up into the daylight after a long nocturnal exploration.

Jennifer Kelly

Whisker — Moon Mood (Husky Pants)

Moon Mood by Whisker

Bassist Andrew Scott Young and multi-instrumentalist Ben Billington are luminaries of Chicago’s experimental jazz and electronic scenes as members of Tiger Hatchery, soloists and collaborators with a range of local groups. In Moon Mood the duo performs two lengthy improvisations for double bass and electronics. Young’s bass is to the fore, and his bow work is particularly expressive as he explores the registers of his instrument. Billington works a number of patches to interpolate all nature of blips and plinks and squelchy runs that respond to and interrogate the bass. The workouts are as much an investigation of sonic limits as a demonstration of the sympathetic interaction between natural and artificial sounds, if that is even a worthwhile dichotomy these days. Moon Mood is a fascinating conversation well worth eavesdropping on.

Andrew Forell

Wode — Burn in Many Mirrors (20 Buck Spin)

Burn In Many Mirrors by Wode

The guys in Manchester-based band Wode play black metal, but they don’t wear corpsepaint or futz around with severed goat’s heads and candelabras. That’s a good thing, because their music has bombast aplenty. Any additional theatrics might send the project over into a species of irritating kitsch. When Wode’s music works — as it does on “Lunar Madness,” the first track on the band’s latest LP, Burn in Many Mirrors — it’s muscular stuff, with terrific momentum and gut-thudding energy. Throughout the song, vocalist Michael Czerwoniuk does his usual stuff, chewing the sonic scenery, plentiful groans and gurgles punctuating all his shouting. Even in the maximalist context of black metal vocals, he’s a handful. But on “Lunar Madness,” there’s enough interest and excitement generated by the rhythms and riffs to offset his histrionics. A couple songs on the record are shaped by oft-handled forms, and rely overmuch on Czerwoniuk’s outsized presence; upon listening to “Fire in the Hills,” you may find yourself flashing on the self-parodic antics of Jim Dandy Mangrum, or on metal heroics that were already tired on records like Bark at the Moon. That’s too bad. When Wode clicks as a unit, they can make compelling sounds. “Sulphuric Glow” moves at a dead run for nearly the entirety of its five minutes, and while Czerwoniuk’s vocal stylings are still a bit much, the riffs are fluid and furious. If he could just dial stuff back to 11, folks might be able hear the rest of the band. They’re pretty good.

Jonathan Shaw

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artificialqueens · 4 years

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A Vampire in Paris: Part One (Gigi x Crystal) - Chae

A/N: aaaa it’s here, part one! i was NOT expecting it to be 3.4k words but i’m so so so proud of the dialogue in this chapter. if you can handle a bit of exposition to get to the crygi fluff i swear it’s worth it XD

Summary: Gigi Goode arrives in Paris to start preparing for Fashion Week, but what dark secret is her company hiding? What’s the deal with those three supermodels? And why is Crystal Methyd so damn adorable?

We Begin

This couldn’t be happening. It felt wholly, totally, surreally unreal. Every dream Gigi Goode had ever dreamt seemed to be coming true at that very moment. The twenty-two year old had gone through immigration and baggage claim without really feeling much. When she met the Uber that was ordered to take her to the complex, she hadn’t felt much either. But now, as she drove through the streets of Paris, taking in the narrow paths and low buildings that completely contrasted the Los Angeles she was used to, she felt like she had arrived.

Crystal Methyd wasn’t exactly well-known, but she didn’t fly under the radar either. Anyone who spent more than two minutes researching modern fashion knew about her. She’d risen to popularity online through her wacky and interpretive, yet still fashionable, street style. Then, arguably the largest label in the world, ‘Fatelle,’ bought her company (as they did with about 90% of the fashion industry) and moved her to Paris. In a few weeks would be ‘The Methyd’s’ first showing for Paris Fashion Week, aka her ticket to worldwide fame and success, and Crystal had asked Gigi to model for her. She didn’t even know Crystal was allowed to choose her own models in the first place.

Gigi was used to having some spotlight. She’d amassed quite the following on Instagram and YouTube, which was how she got signed to her agency and apparently how Crystal had found her as well. Gigi was still dumbfounded by her luck, or talent, or universal power or whatever had gotten her to Paris to model for fashion week. She still couldn’t wrap her head around that fact when the car stopped in front of a huge building. It wasn’t modern or tall like businesses back home, but it took up an entire Parisian-sized block and stood a story or two higher than the average building.

Gigi gripped her luggage, two roller-bag cases, a duffel bag, a small backpack, and a purse, and breathed out. She wanted to look confident and put-together when she met… whoever she was going to meet. Would it be Crystal? She’d been contacted by someone named ‘Trixie,’ so probably not, but one could hope. Gigi stepped forward, entering through the gigantic gold spinning door and coughing a bit as the scent of floral cleaning product wafted up her nose.

The lobby was pristine—spotless, sparkling, even, marble floors and marble walls and marble ceilings galore. The architecture was retro, yet the furniture seemed almost futuristic. Glass display cases flaunted the designers’ best works, particularly the original creator, Miss Fame’s, designs. She felt like every single person who would work here attended at least three fashion shows a week. The young model took a moment to admire her surroundings before her heels clicked all the way to the reception desk.

There, she was met with a strikingly familiar face, with a name tag to match.

“Excuse me—wait, are you-”

“Shhhh!” the woman seemed to perk up immediately at the prospect of being recognized, looking at Gigi frantically. “I’m nobody! I’m the receptionist.” She held a finger up to her lips.

“But your name tag, it even says-”

“My nametag doesn’t say shit!”

Gigi was a little surprised at how casual the other woman spoke to her, but blinked and continued.

“You aren’t even trying to hide it?”

“Well, not everybody is as smart as you and remembers photoshoots from forty years ago!”

“This is a fashion label’s headquarters!”

The woman paused, not knowing how to respond. “Okay, touché. Ya got me.”

“May I ask a question?”

“I mean… yeah?”

“How do you look the exact same as you did in the eighties?” Gigi was raising an eyebrow at Adore Delano, a female rock icon known for her raunchy photoshoots and close relationship to the Fatelle brand. Her hair and makeup changed, her clothes were different, too, of course, but she looked the same otherwise. What kind of ooky kooky hyaluronic acid was keeping a 60 year old woman looking 20?!

“Ask, and you will not receive,” Adore sighed, playing with her hair. “There are just some things you’d be safer… not knowing,” she smiled decidedly, pleased with her answer.

“Right,” Gigi grimaced, avoiding eye contact with the star.

“Anyway girl, what’s the sitch? What can I help you with?”

“Ah, yes of course, I’m here to meet.. well, someone. I’m a new model and I’m supposed to be staying here for a while.”

“Ohhh, you’re one of the international shipments coming in for fashion week. Which designer?”

“The Methyd.”

“Shut up!” Adore grinned, a twinkle in her eye. “Babe, you’re set for life. You better make a good impression on Crystal, she’s supposed to be the new thing and stuff!”

Gigi blushed. “Will I meet her today?”

“Mmm,” Adore checked a computer screen, clicking a few buttons and squinting. “You’re supposed to meet with Trixie, so you’ll have to ask her.” She grabbed something from under her desk. “Gigi Goode, right?”

“That’s me. Good morning!”

“Party!” The older girl grinned, handing Gigi a small card. “That’s your room key—don’t lose it. Unless you wanna like, get stolen from.”

Gigi took the key, placing it in her purse. “Thank you, and noted. Do not get robbed.”

Suddenly, another voice joined the pair as a tall woman strode into the lobby, conversing on the phone. She was wearing a pink blazer-mini skirt set and white patent pumps, the outfit hugging her curves perfectly. Her hair was big and blonde, straight with iron-curled ringlets at the tips, and her big lips and long lashes completed the Barbie aesthetic. Her voice, however, was stern and confident, the complete opposite of her doll-like appearance. If this was Trixie, Gigi was already intimidated.

“Well, Brenda, tell Katya that I’ll call her back later, please,” she commanded, a short answer coming from the other end before Trixie interrupted, scolding the person in French before hanging up. She looked to Gigi with a smile. “Sorry about that. You must be Gigi!”

Gigi smiled and reached out to shake her hand, but forgot that air kisses were the customary French greeting. Nice going, idiot, Gigi thought to herself as she finished the proper hello. “It’s nice to meet you, Ms. Mattel!”

“Oh hun, you can call me Trixie,” she smiled. “Welcome to Fatelle! I’m your modeling manager, so we’ll be seeing each other a lot. You come to me with any questions, concerns, issues, you need a tampon, a condom, a chocolate, a shot, I’m your gal,” she winked. Gigi laughed.

“In that case, can I have a-”

“You are not about to ask me for a condom.”

“Well…”

The two burst out, Trixie’s laugh coming out more like a bird screech than a human chuckle.

“Ah! Almost forgot,” Trixie reached into her pocket and grabbed a sticky note, handing it to Gigi. “That’s my number. I’ll text you important info, like meeting and fitting dates and such. We’ve only got three weeks to prepare for this, so the schedule is packed.”

Gigi folded the paper and put it with her room card, already nervous for what was to come. “Agh, well, I’m excited to start!”

“Of course!” Trixie smiled, glancing at her phone as it buzzed. “Shit, well, I gotta go.”

“Hold on, sorry, how do I get to my room?”

“Right! I’m stupid for not telling you.” Trixie pointed to where she’d come from. “Over there is the apartment complex area. Your key card will say which room it is, and the elevators are dead ahead. This place has a restaurant open to the public like a hotel does, but it’s free for models and employees and serves us privately during the day. There’s also kitchens in the rooms if you wanna cook for yourself,” she explained. “Later tonight our team should be getting together for a meeting, I’ll text you the details, kay?” Trixie almost mumbled the last part as she frantically punched the keyboard of her phone, obviously annoyed with the person she was texting. “Enjoy your stay!”

Before Gigi could even say bye, Trixie was gone. She understood for the most part, but she couldn’t help but notice Trixie hadn’t said anything about the portion of the building across from the apartments. The curiosity ate her up, so she opted to ask Adore.

“What’s over there?” Gigi motioned to the glass doors that led to the mystery area.

“That’s where all the businessy stuff happens,” Adore rested her head in her hand. “You’ll probably go there to do your model stuff. The further in you go, the crazier the shit is.”

“Crazy shit? What kind of crazy shit?”

Adore bit her lip, knowing she’d said too much. “Enjoy your stay, Miss Goode.”

Gigi raised an eyebrow. Something smelled rotten at the Fatelle headquarters, and the young woman was dying to learn more. She followed instructions to get to her room, a spacious and immaculately decorated space. Flopping on the bed, Gigi closed her eyes, imagining what it would be like to own such a large company. She’d never considered designing clothes, more than happy to stick to modeling. Speaking of which, she had a dinner to get ready for. She sat up, releasing her ginger waves from their ponytail with a shake of her head, exhaling a breath. After she unpacked, she was going to make herself look smoking hot. Crystal would not regret choosing her to be a model.

———

Gigi knocked on the glass doors leading to the private seating of the restaurant, trying to get Trixie’s attention. She’d worn her fanciest mini dress and most expensive Louboutins in hopes of impressing her team. The table was large, maybe ten or eleven girls crowding around it. And in the back, she spotted Crystal.

Or did Crystal spot her? Because they were making eye contact— holy shit they were making eye contact and Crystal was the prettiest girl ever what the fuck? Gigi gulped as someone else, a girl she didn’t recognize, let her in.

“Hey! Here to meet with The Methyd team?”

“Mhm,” Gigi nodded, air kissing the other woman. “Gigi Goode.”

“Oh, awesome! I’m Rock M Sakura, one of the makeup artists,” the shorter girl grinned at Gigi, her appearance reminding the model of a magical girl anime. “But you can just call me Rock.”

“Rock? What’s that short for?”

“Rock and Roll, baby,” she made a face and sat back down at the table, leaving Gigi to giggle and flick her eyes around to find an empty spot.

Of course the only one left was right next to Crystal.

And of course Crystal was smiling at her the entire time she walked to the seat.

“Hey, you’re Gigi right?” The designer asked, making the model blush at the fact that she knew her name.

“Good morning, it’s an honor to meet you Ms. Methyd.”

“Ah jeez, just call me Crystal! We don’t use last names here,” Crystal motioned to the laughing girls around the dinner table. “It looks like everyone’s here actually, we can finally introduce ourselves!”

Gigi glanced at Trixie, who was sitting close by, her facial expression reading “is this girl always this sweet and peppy?” The manager caught her eye and shot her back a look that said “yes.”

Crystal tapped a wine glass, garnering everyone’s attention. “Everyone, thank you all for coming to start this journey with me,” the designer started, a grin wide across her lips. “I know we’re all gonna make an amazing team, we just have to, uh, know each other’s names first?” Everyone chuckled lightly. Crystal looked towards Gigi with a sparkle in her eye. “Why don’t you start?”

Gigi took a breath, wanting to make sure her expression was stone-cold. “Nice to meet you all, I’m Gigi Goode, I just arrived from Los Angeles, I’ll be modeling.”

Crystal smiled, beckoning the rest to introduce themselves.

“My name is Jackie Cox, I came in from New York not too long ago, and I’m your backstage coordinator!”

“Bonsoir, I am Nicky Doll from Paris, obviously. I’ll be modeling as well.”

“Hey y’all, I’m Trixie Mattel, which you probably already knew, because I got you all here, because I’m your modeling manager.”

“The name is Jaida Essence Hall, and I’ve been modeling with Fatelle for some time now. I’m looking forward to working with Miss Methyd.”

“Hi, my name’s Rock M Sakura, just got here from San Francisco! I’ll be your assistant makeup artist!”

“Raven. Lead makeup artist.”

Now this chick seemed… off. She was extremely out of place amongst the rest of the girls in the group. She was just sitting there, glaring at the rest of the crew and almost… taking in information? Her face was sharp and beautiful, but her eyes pierced through Gigi’s soul as she, for some reason, stared her down. They moved on.

“I’m Plastique Tiara, I’ll also be a model. I can’t wait to start!”

“Hey there, I’m Brooke Lynn Hytes, if you’re Canadian, you know me. I’ll be helping get you guys outfits and hair stylists.”

“Ugh, great to meet y’all! I’m Jan Sport, I’m another model!”

There was only one girl left, thankfully, and only one more name to remember. “Hey, I’m Dahlia Sin. I’ll obviously be modeling.”

Crystal rubbed her hands together excitedly. “Yay! Now that we all know each other, hopefully the waiter’s coming sooooon!”

The table murmured in agreement, returning back to their previous conversations.

“It’s so nice to meet you, Gigi,” Jackie said from her left. Nicky peeked over her shoulder and nodded, flashing a gorgeous smile.

“The pleasure is all mine!” Gigi replied. “I can’t wait to try some authentic French cuisine,” she liked her lips.

“That’s right, you just got off the plane!” Crystal exclaimed.

Gigi confirmed. “How long have you been staying here?”

“Oh gosh, not long, maybe a month or two. Most of this team has only been working at Fatelle for less than a year.”

“Except moi!” Nicky’s thick accent interjected, an eyebrow raised playfully. “And Raven. Jaida’s probably been here just over a year. But yeah, apart from us, even Trixie’s a baby.”

Raven seemed to sense her name being spoken, but only tossed them a glance before returning to typing on her phone. Trixie was enthralled in some deep phone convo, the hard worker never seeming to catch a break.

“Oh, I just can’t wait to start! These designs have been in my head for years and they finally get to see the light of day on my amazing models!” Crystal gushed. The passion for her work seemed to be flowing out of each word she spoke, the radiant positivity infectious.

“We’re so excited to see you succeed, Crys,” Jan quickly complimented before returning to an apparently intense debate with Brooke and Dahlia.

Gigi noticed the waiter walk in through the glass door to take their drink orders, the model smiling at the thought of finally getting some real food in her. The only thing she’d been eating for the past 48 hours were shitty plane meals and junky snacks to try and make it through the thirteen hour joint flight.

When the door was open, however, Gigi couldn’t help but notice three distant figures sauntering down the restaurant hall. They looked super important, super rich. They must have been supermodels, but she couldn’t tell from how far away she was.

Jackie caught her line of sight. “You know them, right?” She asked, an edge of malice in her tone.

“I couldn’t exactly see who they were, but I’m sure I’d know of them.”

“They’re some bad business,” Jackie grunted.

“Really? Who are they?”

“Those are just some of the other models. Aquaria, Valentina, and Naomi Smalls,” Crystal explained, making Gigi’s eyes widen.

“No way! They’re insanely famous! Isn’t Aquaria supposed to take over the company or something?” Gigi raved.

“That’s up for debate,” Nicky rolled her eyes. “It sure looks like it, though.”

“If Mean Girls was real life, Aquaria is Regina, Naomi is Gretchen, and Valentina is Karen,” Jackie said. “And don’t you dare try to become Cady.”

Gigi laughed. “I won’t, I promise. I like you all too much.”

“Their people are another beast altogether,” Nicky spat. “One that we’ve been trying to conquer, but they’re just so full of themselves they can’t see past their own noses.”

“They’re working for Fatelle Official, so they’re doing something right,” Crystal tried to reason.

“Well, I’m working for The Methyd, which is gonna be bigger than Fatelle. I can just feel it,” Gigi grinned. Crystal laughed airily, a tinge of red hitting her cheeks.

“Thanks, Gig!”

Gigi couldn’t help but blush once again at the cute nickname Crystal has already begun to use. They all placed their drink orders, and Gigi managed to converse with Crystal without exploding. The older girl was dressed in a sparkly cocktail dress, with bright colored eyeshadow and thick eyeliner. Her hair was curly and mouse-brown, and it framed her face while flaring out in the back. Crystal was dastardly gorgeous, with twinkling eyes, a tiny nose, and lips ever-curved into a smile. Thank god it was normal to look at someone while they talked to you, because Gigi couldn’t stop looking at Crystal.

Gigi sipped the mixed drink that was brought to her at last, while Crystal looked at her with a playful smirk.

“Have you ever thought about going blonde?”

“Ha! Maybe? Why?”

“One, you’d look good. Two, I’ve been wanting to go redhead but I don’t want to come for your brand!”

Gigi laughed heartily, wiping a bit of drink off her lip. “I’ll have to think about it!”

“If you do it, do it before the show!”

“And do it at a hairdresser,” a voice said at the other end of the table. It was quiet and barely audible over the chatter of the other women, but Gigi realized Raven had been listening to their conversation. She made eye contact with the older woman and grew hot, her gaze making Gigi anxious and want to look away. She nodded at Raven and turned back to Crystal, cringing.

“What’s her deal?”

“Raven’s?” Crystal bit her lip, not entirely comfortable with the makeup artist’s presence either. “The higher ups said she needed to work with us since everyone was new, and she is the best makeup artist in the city, really,” she shrugged. “I couldn’t say no.”

Gigi nodded in understanding. “She keeps looking at us.”

“I know,” Crystal chuckled. “But I mean, who wouldn’t want to look at you?”

The model turned bright red, rubbing the back of her neck. “Thank you, Crystal. It… means a lot coming from you.”

It was the designer’s turn to blush, and for a few moments the two sat in awkward silence before they were interrupted by the waiter taking their orders. Gigi hadn’t even looked at the menu— she was too busy talking, so she just ordered whatever Crystal got.

Gigi knew, even from the short time she’d spent with her new friends, that she was in for a wild ride. And she knew something was up with Raven, Aquaria, Valentina, Naomi, and Adore, and she was going to get to the bottom of it before Fashion Week was over.

———

It was 11:58 PM when Raven opened the great wooden doors to the study, shutting them gently behind herself. She spotted Violet Chachki perched on the desk as usual, smoking a cigarette from a holder ring. Violet shot the makeup artist a look before clearing her throat.

“Darling, Raven’s here.”

In a movie-like scene, the huge velvet chair behind the oak desk spun around, revealing a disinterested Miss Fame. She too, was smoking a cigarette, but in a much less dramatic fashion than her assistant.

“So?” She pressed.

“You definitely want that Gigi girl. And you want Methyd, too.”

“Right. And?”

“You’re in luck, because apparently they’re a package deal.”

Violet grinned, glancing to her lover who seemed to share the same sentiment. The designer and the model. The CEO and the burlesque dancer.

Fame looked back to Raven, stubbing out her cigarette with her own finger.

“History repeats itself, it seems.”

#rpdr fanfiction #gigi goode #crystal methyd #crygi #jackie cox #nicky doll #trixie mattel #adore delano #miss fame #violet chachki #lesbian au #supernatural au #a vampire in paris #chae #concrit welcome #submission #s12

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itsclydebitches · 4 years

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i don't think that passive semblances are necessarily always active--at least wrt qrow's and clover's semblances, i've always assumed they just activated spontaneously. so it'd be like if ruby just randomly burst into petals and zoomed every once in a while, not that their semblances are constantly active. otherwise qrow wouldn't be able to take a step without something breaking or otherwise going wrong. so i don't think they necessarily drain much aura--just activate at random moments.

Which I think is a great explanation if the show actually established that. From what I can gather, what we actually know about Qrow’s semblance is:

He has no control over when his semblance does or does not activate

He has no control over who it impacts (whether it’s bad luck for him or bad luck for others, aka good luck for him)

There’s a range around him where others can be impacted (“Don’t come any closer!”)

Potentially his semblance is more likely to activate once someone gets within that range (Ruby is nearly hit as soon as she gets re-involved in the Tyrian fight)

Potentially his semblance remains active even while a good luck semblance is also active nearby (Qrow tripping and Clover easily catching him)

As said, random activation is a good way to deal with the aura issue, but the show hasn’t actually explained that. It also, by extension, hasn’t established why Qrow thinks that occasional randomness is worth the distance he creates between himself and others. When he travels with the group to Haven and Argus his semblance is, to be frank, pretty much a non-issue. Yeah, Ruby almost got hit, but would a beam have even hurt her with her own aura? I doubt it. Maybe if Tyrian did enough damage in his first attack, but given what these characters can survive that moment never struck me as particularly dangerous. Then Qrow breaks a table. A tire blows out. None of these random activations (that I remember anyway) are particularly terrible. Qrow’s view of his semblance makes more sense if he was experiencing varying degrees of bad luck all the time, rather than random little blips that, really, don’t have much of an impact on his life based on what we’ve seen.

What I’m getting at in a round-about way is that the issue isn’t so much “Qrow’s semblance makes no sense” because, as you say, we can provide an explanation. Rather, the issue is how that explanation lines up with the rest of the story. Qrow made the decision not to travel with Ruby because of his semblance. He nearly didn’t reach her in time to prevent Tyrian’s poison because of that distance, because of his semblance. This implicitly tells us that his semblance is really, really bad... but it’s not? If you have a character making huge decisions like keeping distance between himself and his family for years, or not joining a party when this group clearly needs help out in the wild, then that motivation - and the consequences attached to it - needs to carry over into later scenes. When Qrow is forced to travel with the group we need to see why he was so hell bent on avoiding this situation, but all we actually see is some pretty simple bad luck that could have happened to anyone, semblance or no semblance. All of which comes back to the need to firmly establish how Qrow’s semblance works and what is the impact of that. If it happens randomly how did he figure out there’s a range? How did anyone realize it was his semblance at all and not just normal bad luck? Can Qrow feel his aura draining a bit each time it happens? Could he potentially take a hit on his aura at an incredibly inopportune time? Even if it’s random, if it’s supposedly activating enough to negatively impact others around him to the point where Qrow creates that distance, then surely he’s taking aura hits multiple times a day. Does that still mean he potentially can’t rely on aura like another huntsmen would?

There are a lot of implications and questions attached to giving one (now two with Clover) characters a semblance that’s staggeringly different from what anyone else has. Obviously I’m nitpicking with some of the stuff above, but the takeaway is that RWBY barely explains any of it. We don’t even have characters asking, “Hey, Uncle Qrow, why in the world is your semblance Like That?” These characters should be intrigued by these differences given that such differences make up their job, their personal life, and are attached to their family. Just like they should be asking about magical silver eye powers or the existence of gods. Each thing you introduce impacts how the viewer reads the next bit of info. If we go, “They wouldn’t ask about Qrow’s semblance because all semblances are super weird. Weird is normal here!” then by extension we have to ask, “If weird is normal how can you justify the group’s horror at the bird transformation?” Having a conversation about Qrow’s semblance, even one where he admits he doesn’t understand it entirely himself, would go a long way towards a) making the characters seem less stupid, b) reassuring the viewer that RT has a handle on their own world building, c) lessens the work the viewer has to do to get things to make sense (aka long anon conversations trying to explain how Qrow’s semblance might logically function) and d) firmly sets up the sort of expectations we should have going forward. No more confusion along the lines of, “Why was Qrow’s semblance so horrible it drove him away but now that we get to see it in action it’s like... breaking things every two to three days. I break things at least once a week. Never needed a semblance to achieve that...”

For me, Qrow’s semblance and the lack of canonical thought put into it represents far larger issues regarding RWBY’s tendency to introduce “cool” concepts that the writers then include or ignore at a whim. If you include a character with a bad luck semblance that has been presented as Very Bad for the last three volumes, then his presence in the group should be a major factor that drives the plot moving forward. Stuff like, “Well, since Qrow is with them 24/7 now and he was adamant that no one get near him during a battle, we should see the group experiencing at least some bad luck (that’s clearly tied to him) during the Cordovin fight. His presences needs to impact their chances at winning." Not “Well, we don’t want to deal with Qrow making the fight harder so we’ll just conveniently turn off his semblance for a while.” Creating rules and explaining them in the story helps the writers adhere to them. They’re accountable now and the story benefits, far more than it does from our current situation of, “Qrow’s semblance is really bad, pretty whatever, on, off, interacting with Clover’s, not interacting with Clover’s, maybe caused that unfortunate thing in that particular scene but you don’t actually know - all depending on what result the writers want at any given moment.”

#rwby #rwde #mymetas #long post

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lnarizakis · 4 years

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haikyuu: sparknoted | all about hinata shoyo

masterlist

all about hinata shoyo

foreword: Hi, everyone! I’m so glad you’re reading this. I’ve always wanted to do an analysis series of Haikyuu!!, and I think now that I have so much free time on my hands, this is the perfect time to start. I decided to start out with a character analysis on Hinata Shoyo, since he’s the protagonist of the series. The three topics I will cover are: his character, his character development, and the final arc. The topics about his development and the final arc contain spoilers, so beware! Please enjoy, and everything I say is left up for debate, addition, and correction!

HINATA’S CHARACTER

NOMENCLATURE | Since we are talking about a character, we should look at his, well, character. This kid’s name is Hinata Shoyo, and according to the Wiki, his name means “Place in the sun/Sunny place” (Hinata), and “Flying heaven” (Shoyo). Part of his last name, Hina, means a chick or a baby bird. We should know by now that the meaning of his last name is intentional - multiple times he is referred to as the sun in the manga and anime. He is often compared to Tsukishima, who is referred to as the moon. Like Hinata, he was given that name also with intention. I’m pretty sure the story mentions this, but the reason Hinata was given this name was because of how much he shines. Not just because of his personality, because of course, he is a very bright person, but his whole character shines. He radiates - the effects of his “sunshine,” per se, is found in the character development of multiple people - Yachi, Kenma, Hyakuzawa, Kageyama, and even Tsukishima.

MOON AND SUN | I’m going to side-track and talk about the relationship between Tsukishima and Hinata for a little bit - the story mentions this, but it’s worth noting and it leads into what I’m going to say next. Tsukishima and Hinata are like night and day, respectively. Hinata is bright like the day - he shines and radiates the sunshine off on other people. They bask in his light and become better people because of it. Tsukishima, on the other hand, is more lowkey; he prefers not to talk to people rather than to interact, and, initially, he has no interest in improvement. Plants don’t grow during the night (I will refer to this analogy later). The point is: one can only see the moon when sunlight reflects off of it (I think that’s how the moon’s brightness works; all I know is that the sun’s light is involved lol). Therefore, the effects of Hinata’s presence and his “shine” has affected Tsukishima so much that he is able to shine even “in the night”. So besides Kageyama and perhaps Kenma, Tsukishima is one of the people to be most affected by Hinata’s personality.

APPEARANCE | Okay, now I’m going to talk about Hinata’s appearance. He’s short, he has orange hair, and always has the brightest smile on his face. Except when he has to make a point like “We haven’t won yet,” where he’s got that awfully creepy and sinister smile on his face. But I’m going to get back to that. First- his height. When we first get to know Hinata, the very first note of his height is where he stands at 162.8 cm/5’4 ft. (April 2012). He’s as tall as I am! But he’s not tall enough for volleyball, and he is constantly looked down (literally and metaphorically) for that fact. His opponents, and even his teammates, don’t realize the hidden potential that hides within Hinata. So it becomes ironic when there are people who are taller than Hinata, and they “look up” to him. Notably, Hyakuzawa. During the first-year’s training camp in Season 4/To The Top (AKA Ball Boy Arc), there’s a scene in which Hyakuzawa is sitting on the ground while leaning against the wall. He’s looking up at Hinata, who stands in front of him. He tells Hinata that he should have been invited instead of him, which is very ironic because when Karasuno played against his school (I don’t remember which school oops), he was seen as this very intimidating guy despite his lack of experience. Anyways, the point is - despite Hinata’ s height, he makes up for it with ability and talent, to which others who are much taller than he is are just in awe, and perhaps jealous, that he could go past this misfortune of his and strengthen his other skills instead.

ELEMENTS OF HORROR | “We haven’t won yet,” Hinata says, with the most sinister smile on his face. No, man, it’s not sinister. He’s just in the moment. Of course, he doesn’t mean to pull off that kind of scary face, it’s not in him. Yet the face he makes, along with the tone of voice he uses when saying those four words, just gets people. It chills them right to the bone because it’s so unlike Hinata yet it is so like Hinata. He is the type of person to persist on and encourage himself and others just by saying “We haven’t won yet,” but he doesn’t make that type of face. So… why does he make that type of face? The reason is the author’s choice. Furudate loves horror and drew Hinata’s face with a sinister expression. That’s the simple reason, but I believe there is so much more to that. Furudate could have based his entire style on a horror-like manga, despite it being quite out-of-place as it is a manga about volleyball, but if that’s what he wants, that’s what he wants. However, he chose to draw that particular scene with a horror-type feel because that’s what the others see. That’s what everyone who watched Hinata say those four words saw. His expression, his eyes… everything about it chilled them to the bone and Furudate wanted it to make it clear to the reader that that’s how we are supposed to perceive his words. Because if he drew it any other way, it would have come off as Hinata jumping up and down exclaiming with a super-happy voice, “We haven’t won yet! Let’s keep going, guys!” But no- it’s supposed to be creepy because everyone else saw it as creepy.

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

SPOILER WARNING! | This section is very spoiler-heavy! Please don’t read this section if you do not want to be spoiled for the outcomes of the nationals!

THE BALL BOY ARC | I will be covering Hinata’s character development all throughout season 4 because I think that this is the most important development to Hinata’s character. I’ll begin with the Ball Boy Arc, where Hinata must swallow his pride after entering the first-year training camp uninvited. Of course, Hinata had good intentions when he arrived, but he did not realize the consequences of his actions. Before, when he heard that Kageyama and Tsukishima were invited to these training camps, the first thought that ran through Hinata’s mind was “Why wasn’t I invited?” Yes, Hinata realizes his strength and the growth he has made throughout the time he had been practicing volleyball, but it seemed to him that he just wasn’t good enough. Upon arriving at the training camp, Coach Washijo immediately denies him to practice with the rest and so Hinata swallows his pride and announces himself as only the ball boy, nothing more. This is important because he is actually telling everybody there that he really just is not good enough.

KAGEYAMA’S SUPPORT | Coach Washijo tells Hinata that he is no good without the support of Kageyama. This comes across as a slap to the face for the poor boy, but I believe the coach told him this for two reasons. One, Washijo does not want to admit to the fact that Hinata is definitely strong and is an amazing player, but, two, Hinata is not strong without Kageyama and so he therefore cannot participate in a camp where Kageyama is not there to support him. This opens up Hinata’s eyes and he realizes that he must not rely on Kageyama all the time; after all, Kageyama is his rival. I don’t know if I’m right on this, but this is one of the two times where Hinata trains and learns without Kageyama’s help. The other time was when he practiced with Coach Ukai, the senior. If I’m wrong, please let me know!

HINATA’S COLLAPSE | Progressively throughout Season 4 we see that Hinata gains lines under his eyes. I saw two twitter posts that mention these- the first about how they could be “crow’s feet,” and the second about how they are lines of exhaustion. I agree with the second post. Throughout the season we observe how hard Hinata works and that sometimes he pushes his limits. He calls his coach to ask him about what he should eat, but I don’t know if we ever see him eat what Ukai tells him to eat. If we do… then, okay then. Lol. Anyways, not only are his eating habits being rearranged, it is also assumed that Hinata bikes home very late at night every day during the training camp at Shiratorizawa. He goes home with his heart pumping so he probably goes to sleep at an even later time. So Hinata also has a bad sleep schedule, and you know how hard it is to try and revert a bad sleep schedule… Hinata is also shown at times during nationals to be wide awake at night. With this, we can tell that he is exhausted. He is tired and in need of a rest. But he doesn’t give himself a rest, because all he wants is to prove to others, and himself, that he is good. And this leads to his downfall- his collapse in the middle of the Kamomedai VS Karasuno game. Hinata catches a fever all because he couldn’t take good care of himself. It’s so unfortunate, but it’s another wake-up call for Hinata that tells him that good things take time to come. He can’t magically hone his skills overnight.

THE FINAL ARC

THIS IS IT. IT’S REALLY THE END. | Ah, the final arc. We are so close to the end of Haikyuu!! and it makes me so sad to think about it every time. The final arc is the last match of the game. It is no coincidence that it is the last time we see Hinata use the restroom before the game. It is also no coincidence that many things that happened during Hinata’s first game are happening as well - Hinata meets Kageyama again at the restroom, he breathes in the smell of icy-hot spray, and, of course, he is going against Kageyama. That’s just awesome. But… he is not only going against Kageyama, he’s also going against Ushijima Wakatoshi and Hoshiumi Korai. This is no mere coincidence. These three people are all Hinata’s rivals. He declared one way or another that he would beat each of them and become the greater person. Hinata told Kageyama that he would, one day, beat him in a game. Hinata told Ushijima that he would beat Shiratorizawa and move onto nationals. I don’t remember if Hinata ever told Hoshiumi if he would beat him in a game one day, but we know for a fact that Hoshiumi did, at least in his mind. Let’s not forget how Hoshiumi really thought, “I’ve waited years for this day, Hinata Shoyo!!” Before the final game.

TEAMMATES: PAST AND PRESENT | I also want to mention the “commentators” for this match as well as some of Hinata’s teammates. In every game that we read/watch in Haikyuu!!, there is at least one person outside of the game who commentates on their perspective of what is going on in the game. We are not only getting the action, but also the analysis. In the final match, we are getting the commentary from Hinata’s teammates. We are finally getting their perspective in the game and how they perceive everyone’s actions. I just thought that was really cool since they were Hinata’s teammates- we never got the chance to hear their opinions about the game as an outsider. We also have some of Hinata’s teammates, Bokuto Koutarou, Miya Atsumu, and Sakusa Kiyoomi. I specifically want to talk about Bokuto and Atsumu, since the only reason I believe Sakusa was placed in the MSBY Jackals was so we could see his own ability because we never got to see him play in high school. Besides the Little Giant, I don’t know if there was any other person that Hinata looked up to more than Bokuto. I think it was great for Furudate to place Bokuto on Hinata’s team because it’s sort of a teacher-student moment where the teacher has to play with his disciple. I also think Furudate made the smartest choice to place Miya on this team as well because it shows that Kageyama is not the only one to perform a quick attack with Hinata. Having Miya on this team provides two things- it becomes a “battle of the setters” between Miya and Kageyama, and we see that Hinata has grown to adapt to perform well with other setters. It’s great character development on Hinata’s part because we see that he has definitely moved past the “he’s no good without Kageyama” thing back in high school. Good for him!

RIVALRY | Anyways, with a little analysis on Hinata’s team, we move on to the opponents. The big three opponents are, of course, Kageyama, Ushijima, and Hoshiumi. It’s a really good thing that Furudate placed these three on a team together (Talking about Romero makes their team even more OP so we’re just gonna set him aside for right now, haha) because it’s a test of Hinata’s ability. We get to see the rematch of the century, since each of Hinata’s rivals have wished for a rematch against him. Hinata lost to Kageyama’s team back in middle school, so now we wonder if Hinata could beat Kageyama now. We know that Ushijima lost to Hinata, but since he declared that he would beat Hinata in the future, we also wonder if Hinata could win against him, this time without the help of his teammates back in Karasuno. Lastly, Hinata collapsed in the middle of the match against Kamomedai, so we do not know for sure if Hinata could have won against Hoshiumi. All of these questions that we have for these three rivals will be cleared in this match; we get to see if Hinata will win in the end. We will learn if Hinata has truly become stronger. This match will let Hinata examine his current self and if his skills now can finally win against Kageyama, Ushijima, and Hoshiumi. It’s sort of like the “final exam” for Hinata’s strength.

Alright, that’s all I have to say! If you read all of this... then wow. I am in awe. Thank you for reading! I really enjoyed writing something like this. I was writing like the end of the world was coming. If you liked this, please let me know! Disagreed with anything I said? That’s fine, let’s respectfully discuss! Thanks!

#haikyuu!!#hinata shouyou #hinata shoyo #cadekagi

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kurtty-drabbles · 4 years

Text

Pirate au Redone (Part 4)

N/A: I think I´ll have to make a bonus part of this au later. This was a challenge to do and I hope I got it right.

@djinmer4 @dannybagpipesarecalling @bamfoftheundead @everykurt @muninandhugin

The ship has the name " Sesame" in big letter and font very eye-appealing and one lonely woman is watching the sky- seeing the birds flying by near the ship/yacht completely oblivious to the inner turmoil she carries in regards her new life- and the contemplation only stops when the Captain of the ship sits next to her offering her a drink-nothing alcoholic as she promised with a mischievous smile and a wink- and replies. "How life is treating so far, Kwannon?" and the Japanese woman has to pound this question for a minute or two.

"Captain Pryde" she humors the other woman even if she knows that pirates, well, real pirates, don´t have a yacht or aren´t so heroic as she´s lead to believe. "I have issues with Krakoa but I´m also ...thankfully for that abomination...look" she gestures her own hands and Captain Pryde follows the motion with her eyes calmly. "I´ve my body back...I´m not dead nor in some white woman´s body. I´m me again and ...this makes me think..." she trails off and Kitty Pryde encourages her to speak freely.

"I was born with nothing, I die with nothing and now I don´t even have the ''nothing'' anymore...Kitty, does God truly exist, or is this all a cosmic joke for him or her?" Kwannon question plug´s Kitty heart and she can remember a certain mutant who aside from loving piracy (among other things) and whose faith was something Kitty and him could talk freely-even through both have different religions it was also covered with a deeper respect for each other- and Kitty only answeres "I believe there is a God or even Gods...but, trying to understand them is a null point"

Kwannon nods but doesn´t seem to be a topic well- answered for her, yet, she´s gracious enough to change the topic. " You think we can trust her...of all people?" and Kitty narrow her eyes.

"Are you going to call her the pretender?"

"No...I´m just unsure of what to feel about her"

______________________________________________________________________________________________

Getting the title of the sorceress supreme from Dr. Strange is not something that will give any dark pleasure- Dr. Strange was a friend, if nothing else, and while his taste for women can be questionable at best, there´s no real pleasure in getting his tittle now- and Wanda Maximoff donning herself with the famous crimson cape is in agreement with its new master.

Tommy and Billy are working with her-Billy return from the space to learn his "twin" not only is working in a magic school but has some small traces of magic, and Billy, only respond by hugging his twin until the other threats to curse him for all eternity- and her magic school is now a real vision(sometimes, Wanda chuckles at this word. Sometimes, Wanda cries) with demons kids from Limbo and other parts of the globe or planes wanting safe heaven to learn magic.

The X-men used to be like that...or am I wrong?

The Sesame´s flag is in view and Wanda shakes her nostalgia away ("let the past in the past, Wanda") and is there watching as Captain Pryde is present and the one who is making an effort to go talk with Wanda-the rest of the crew looks unsure, she de-powered them not too long ago and not everyone is forgiving nor forgiving means friendship- and the two woman are now facing each other.

"You really are here..." Wanda´s tone is laced with surprise as she watches the yacht on the port and back to the captain. "Afraid of me?" she asked still impressed.

"I´m really here...Am I afraid of you? No, not really Wanda...Yet, I can´t ignore M day, I´d not blame you...in the full extension the others do...you were out of your mind and others try to take advantage...still, I won´t call you the pretender or any shit like that" Kitty responds with honest and while she´s never one to use swear words- and is something Terry Pryde installed on her since a young age- she feels this is an appropriate moment to use it.

Wanda only nods at her words. It is much better than she was expecting or hoping for. "Do you really want to do this? Krakoa isn´t supposed to be a paradise to all mutants?"

"The paradise is more for horror island than anything else...and while I think Utopia is still a pretentious name...is better than a cult on an alive island...Can you help us, Scarlet Witch?" Kitty asked sincerely now. Nothing is bounding Scarlet Witch to do this task.

Wanda closes her eyes and opens with now crimson. "I´m Scarlet Witch for a reason...and I´m sorry...for what the Avengers did"

"Apologies from them mean next to nothing"

___________________________________________________________________________________________

Kurt Wagner noticed the absence of Logan, Scott, Jean, and even Ororo and is surrounded by people who in the past-and, not a too long past- were his enemies. Looking at Apocalypse gazing at him with wraith in his eyes mixed with envy does make his stomach rumble. Prof X is speaking and to be frankly, Kurt is not interested in listening any more.

"This is a cult!" Kurt shouts ignoring Raven´s look- the woman may have given birth to him, but, she´s far from being a mother in any sense- and looks in disgust to the villains on the quiet council. "There´s only villains here. What type of paradise is this?"

And Prof X put an uncanny smile on his face-still wearing that helmet and Magneto is close by. As always- as he speaks in a leery way. "And that wouldn´t make you a villain as well? I know...I know what you did in some other universes. Nate may have used you as an avatar to live his wet dream, but, in other realities, you make you with a woman in front of your dead daughter´s cold corpse" and show the image to Kurt who denies this as being a trick.

"I´m not a monster. I´m not like this. I´m Kurt Wagner...and I refuse to be on this island" and tries to attack Prof X and is only meet with vines wrapped around his waist.

"Do you miss Kitty Pryde that much or are you just lonely?" Prof X sounds different now. "Because...I never thought you´re worth her time" and his golden eyes watch as each member on the clan is nothing more but vines. And Krakoa has made her decision to reject Kurt.

Sesame managed to fish Kurt Wagner with a bit help of luck- Kurt opens his golden eyes to see Kitty Pryde staring at him with a myriad of expressions. Concern is one of them- and Kurt breaks down crying as Kitty only hugs him.

_________________________________________________________________________________________

Doug Ramsey is not one to think of himself as a James Bond type of spy or archetype, yet, Captain Britain aka Betsy counts on him and Doug wants to do something, anything to help his fellow mutants. Doug uses his power unashamed and telepathically calls Betsy.

"We have to take as many mutants we can..." his eyes are watching the scene incredulous. "That story of Dr. Moira being a mutant? Well...is fake as much everything else in this island" and the call ends with Doug looking at the clones of every single X-men and the versions of Dr. Moira...It has the words written "the last clone" and it sends a shiver to his spine as the clone opens her eyes and speaks one line.

"I´m a mutant, just like you" and the others continue to do so.

__________________________________________________________________________________________

Queen Lilandra is looking at the New Mutants with a stoic expression enrobing her face and body language as well- The X-men aren´t enemies, per se, but aren´t allies and Queen Lilandra has a daughter she wants to prevent the X-men to ever meet- and Karma is the one to break the silence again.

"Where is Pheonix?"

"What do you mean? Pheonix has never left Earth...."

___________________________________________________________________________________________

Captain Britan and the Neo Excalibur are working to smuggle as many mutants they can from Krakoa- Doug can only calm the island for so long as he repeats his words to Neo Excalibur-and Rogue and Remy are running from the time. "Are they the real thing or ..." Rogue will later wonder if she jinxed this rescue mission as a good part of the mutants rescued...turned into green goo.

And Betsy takes a whiff in the air and screams. "Fire!" and Neo Excalibur runs away in their ship as Rogue can swear the shape of the fire is similar to...

No...it can´t be...

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

Madeline Pryor concludes her tale many days ago, yet, still feels as if is lingering on Scott and Jean´s mind and Jean is the one not taking the news well-the resistance against Krakoa is ever surprised to see Jean and Madeline in a semi civil way- as the New Mutants confirm Madeline´s tale and everything else.

"So...this is all because I´m a bad mother?" Jean asked almost laughing -not a joyful one, rather one devoid of any positive emotion- and Madeline is not taking pity on Jean.

"Is a way to see things...Look, I´m not the greatest example either...Nate became a monster" Madeline´s expression softened a little. She can feel sorry for Meggan if nothing else-she, among all the members of the resistance, can understand how cruel truly is when someone takes your ability to do anything for their own gain- and she continues not bothering to look at Jean. "You thought Nate as your own and ignored your own daughter...yet, Scott is the only one who seems to still remember her"

Jean says nothing as she watches Scott and Kitty talk -whatever is about Utopia or how to deal with Krakoa is not important right now- and she wonders why she never bothers to check on Rachel Grey.

Thanks to Scarlet Witch, Utopia is back and unlike Krakoa there´s a chance of organic change into a real country-Emma Frost is taking diplomacy like a fish to the water and all the surviving mutants have no more complaints in regards Scarlet Witch, at least, it appears so- and Captain Pryde looks at Nightcrawler who looks still befuddled by everything, yet, refuses to leave Kitty behind.

If Pheonix wants a fight...she´ll get one...but if Rachel wants revenge...can I give this to her?

#Pirate au redone au #kitty pryde #madeline pryor #Jean Grey #wanda maximoff #doug ramsey #Kurt Wanger #Kurtty yet #Scott Summers #I thought in the NEO scene for Moira #Which means the real Moira is dead #Sorry but is kinder than canon was to her #Rogue #Betsy Braddock #Utopia is back and is still a pretentious name #The Pheonix

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monochrome-monarch · 5 years

Text

I made a promise that I intend to keep

Okay, so my friend @flamingkingoftheskies and I were discussing some good angst for Atlantis Days (fun fact: it was the first thing we discussed lol) and well, it's Rodorah-centric because clearly the ship doesn't have enough angst in it lol (but don't worry, we have also discussed some fluff and shitposts for it, which I'll spill in a future post).

You know how I mentioned that the Triplets remembered that they were planet conquerors and that they decided to go back to being conquerers, starting with Earth? Well, They also decided 'Hey, before we kill our now ex-friend Gojira and be the new alpha, why don't we ask Rodan to be our Beta?' Because, well, Rodan and Ghidorah are mates at this point and have children of their own. So yeah, makes sense to them that their beautiful and wonderful mate would be their Beta.

Except the thing is is that Rodan is definitely not up for murdering his best friend and Alpha and taking over the Earth for obvious reasons. Hell, he's pretty disgusted that Ghids is totally on board with murdering their best friend ("Did he mean nothing to you three!?"). Rodan tries to talk them out of it but the triplets are also trying to talk him into joining them. It goes downhill from there. Like, really downhill from there.

Okay, so basing the next scene off of these two posts by @ckret2, one of the things Ghidorah has remembered from their past is that they can apparently control people using their voice. Well, in the past, mostly roars but they can use it with their regular(?) voice. Sure, it's been a long, long time since they have used it but when dealing with Rodan, who is getting more and more agitated (and scared? They hope he isn't), it's worth the shot, right?

So, Ichi decides to use it on Rodan, Ni and San deciding to butt out for now unless Ichi could use some help. It goes smoothly, sure Rodan was getting a feeling that something was off but he starting to agree with Ichi. Yeah, taking over Earth sounds like a great idea. Yeah, he'll definitely be their Beta and they can rule together. Yeah, he's definitely up for killing Gojira and - Wait, what?

So yeah, Rodan suceeds in a wisdom saving throw or something and snaps out of it. Maybe mentioning on murdering the Alpha aka your mate's best friend wasn't such a good idea when you're trying to get your mate to join you at the Dark Side. And now said mate knows that not only do you conquer, and sometimes destroy but that doesn't happen that much, planets and want to murder his best friend but you and your brothers can apparently also mind control him and you did just that. It is certainly not helping your case.

When Rodan snapped out of it, he made a nearby volcano erupt out of sheer rage and fear which did get a lot of attention from humans and neighboring titans. So yeah, everyone's wondering what the hell is going on but well, seeing as Rodan is a disaster, they all collectively thought, "Oh, what did he do this time?" All except his friends, most especially Goji who is considering on going to check on Rodan, and Ghidorah by extension, since, clearly, something ain't right. And well, yeah, by the time Goji got to Isla de Mara, the argument had evolved into an aerial brawl, and not the fun kind, since the triplets had given up on convincing Rodan to join them but Rodan wasn't going to let them go off and kill Goji so cue Rodan attacking them.

To an outsider, they just look like they're rough housing but to someone that knows them well like Goji, it's clearly a serious fight and Goji rushes in to mediate, totally oblivious to the fact that the triplets want him dead. So, imagine the look on Goji's face when the triplets suddenly attack him, murderous looks on their faces. Luckily, Rodan is quick and immediately defends his Alpha so he can get over the shock and fight back. I'm not sure if sensing dumbassery is her sixth sense or Goji called her before confronting them but Mothra arrives to help. Rodan also fills them in on what's going on and yeah, Goji coming over was a terrible idea. Also, now it's 3 against 3 but it's still difficult as the Triplets had many years of asskicking and planet destroying experience.

So, shit gets so bad that a retreat was needed, hell Mosu had the most injuries. To buy them time to escape, Rodan stays behind and continues to fight his mates despite being clearly outmatched. It ends in Rodan losing horribly via getting shot down with a gravity blast from all three of them. Like, so bad his wings got badly damaged and maybe his volcanic armor is cracked and bleeding. If you're wondering how bad, we made some guesses as to how bad:

The orange/yellow marks are former holes and tears that got repaired by the magma

You're probably wondering: "Oh come on, Rodan and Goji were fine in the film when they got blasted" and I will say

1) Meh, just for angst

2) Goji and Rodan are two different species but I will admit that, yes, Rodan would've been able to deal with it better because he's made of volcanic rock but see number 1

3) In the film, Rodan was only hit by one blast. Here, it's three. Both at point blank.

But mostly, it's option one. Oh, don't give me that look.

So yeah, after having defeated their mate and thought to have killed him, the Triplets push back their pain and regret and set off to find Goji and Mosu, who are at Atlantis and trying to get the Atlanteans to evacuate with Anguirus helping them. Ghidorah attacks, Atlantis sinks with Anguirus dying there (maybe) and fight ends up being taken to Antartica. The triplets end up getting sealed and trapped under the ice and I'm considering having Mothra die, which explains her first appearance in KOTM. Either way, Goji is able to secure his position as Alpha but ends up losing four friends and a mate except mate will come back who knows when and three of said friends aren't exactly his friends anymore. Still really devastated, though

He goes back to Isla de Mara, hoping that Rodan is still alive and yeah, he is but seriously wounded. They chat for a bit as Goji carries Rodan up the volcano, he also tells him what happened, especially to Mothra, Anguirus and Ghidorah. Rodan is of course upset but knows it had to be done however, he still feels guilty about Mothra and Anguirus. They arrive at the peak, Rodan's children running up to him and Goji. They saw the fight. They watched their sires blast their carrier out of the sky. They thought he was dead - Rodan and Gojira try their best to calm the children. He'll be fine. He just needs to rest and recover and everything will be alright. They promise to the little ones.

Before Goji puts him inside his volcano to heal, Rodan tells him where Dagon's egg is located since he and the former Alpha had hidden the egg somewhere secret before Dagon died from his injuries.

"Promise me that you'll take good care of the kid?"

"I promise."

And Godzilla carefully places Rodan in the magma to heal. Rodan then goes into hibernation. After bidding the children goodbye, Goji then goes off to find the egg and does find it. He tries raising it alongside his son and tries his best before the Mass Hibernation started.

Millions of years later, Goji wakes up to a bunch of shattered eggshells and faded footprints indicating that the egg had hatched while he slept, his son, now full grown, still sleeping and also, the humans are noisy but also advanced. Still annoying, though. Oh, and they blow things up now. . . Great. Years later, he has to deal but eventually kill two rivals, descendents of his predecessor's killer. Five years later, his three former friends come back and well,

Millions of years later, Mothra hatches to, instead of adoring and loyal followers, strangely armored humans pointing weapons at her. One fires at her and well, just because Mothra is a child at the moment doesn't mean she can't kick ass. Sure, she does calm down upon hearing her mate's ever so familiar and comforting call but she ends up escaping when shit goes down, when dangerous humans enter and begin to kill everyone around her. Then when shit gets even worse when her three former friends come back and well, it's definitely ass-kicking time. Well, she needs to lay an egg first and then it's ass-kicking time.

Millions of years later, the triplets are rudely awaken to an explosion that frees them and the pests wearing weird armor and wielding weird weapons (San wants one of those rifle things though). It's a shame those weapons don't work on them but even then again, What is a human weapon to a gravity beam? Then their archenemy appears and well, while they manage to overpower him, which honestly proves their point on how weak he is, they decide to escape. Then as they fly away from their prison, they hear a roar, a familiar roar that they thought they will never hear again. Maybe. . . Maybe they can try again. They can be together again. They can rule this planet together, as Alpha and Beta. Hopefully. . . Then their beloved mate attacks them.

Millions of years later, Rodan wakes up to what sounds like an Alpha call, his now adult children still asleep and his volcano modified with metal and advanced technology. Not that he cares on the latter part. He wants out. And so he does and he's greeted by his patron city now looking very different and strange birds flying and blasting at him. Rodan isn't pleased with the things hitting him and reopening some minor wounds on his recently healed wings so, Rodan decides to teach some pests a lesson on how aggravating a titan is a terrible idea - Then he sees them. Deep inside, he wants to be happy to see them. It's been so long after all. But he remembers what happened. He remembers the fight. He remembers how they just attempted to murder their friends without a care about their history. He remembers the pain. Then with an enraged roar, he forgets his prey and lunges at his traitorous mates.

---

Okay, I just finally finished writing this and holy shit, this was longer and way more than I expected. Like, I was just going to tell you guys some Rodorah angst but well, never dang. Here's some more stuff about Atlantis Days, I guess.

Also, pretty sure I didnt do a good job explaining but meh.

Though, I might edit this in the future, in case I get more ideas or change my mind or something.

Edit: Wording

#godzilla #mothra #mosugoji #well a mention of it #rodan #king ghidorah #rodorah #Atlantis Days AU #also Im trying to find a way on how Ghids remembered their past and why they decided to go back to being conquerors #Though I do have an idea in mind and that sorta involves adding another character into the narrative #also the wings arent the only thing scarred #Rodan also has lichtenburg scars on his back; sides; arms and neck #also thanks to the wing injury; he isnt as fast as he used to be #he's still the fastest flyer but just not as fast as he was before the fight

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lululawrence · 5 years

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Hi, i know that not many people like it but.. i really like the fics like enemies to lovers, something with bullying and ect. I just enjoy sad stuff that as time goes on it gets better. Like with the bullying, one is bullied, the other saves the day. Enemies to lovers, they hurt each other at first but then they heal the wounds. Lol this was long. I'm asking for those kind of fics.. if you don't want to answer i completely understand! Have a great day!

oh darling. listen. you are NOT alone. you are not. i love these fics and so does @londonfoginacup! i sent a screenshot of this ask to a gc when you first sent it talking about how i felt bad i wasn’t able to answer it right away, and emmu immediately said she could help. i didn’t look up anything myself from this rec, these are all ones emmu sent and outside of the...three maybe?...that i haven’t read, i cosign it! she even found some i read when i first joined the fandom and didn’t have an ao3 to save them to OR i had an ao3 and didn’t understand bookmarks yet. so basically, thank you for sending this, and here are the fics emmu recs and i say AMEN! i hope there’s some in here that are what you’re looking for that possibly you haven’t read yet.

they are kind of divided by enemies to lovers that ease into bullying fics as you go down the list, but to be honest i’m just sending them to you in the order that emmu sent them to me haha enjoy!!

Through a Mirror Dimly by @londonfoginacup / LadyLondonderry

Louis Tomlinson, in his third year at university, does not expect nor want the roommate that is being assigned to his room.

Harry Styles, in his first year at university, has just been kicked out of one dorm and doesn't want to deal with yet another snobby, rich roommate.

They don't get along, and that's just how it is, until circumstances force them to reevaluate.

Driving On The Wrong Side, Thinking Of You by @dinosaursmate / dinosaursmate

“Marcel, darling, why don’t you take Louis to your room and play on your computer?”

Louis’ heart sunk. He would defend Marcel from an infinite amount of gay jokes but it didn’t mean he wanted to spend time with him. They didn’t exactly have anything in common.

“Um, okay,” Marcel said, sounding as reluctant as Louis and slightly miserable.

“If- if you want to.”

“Sure.”---Louis is the most popular guy in sixth form. Don't get the wrong idea, he's a good guy, and he absolutely won't stand for his friends teasing his neighbour, Marcel.

Love Is A Rebellious Bird by @100percentsassy and @gloriaandrews / 100percentsassy and gloria_andrews

AU in which the boys still make music. Louis is the concertmaster of the London Symphony Orchestra, Harry is the New! and Exciting! interim conductor/ex-cello prodigy who "has made Mozart cool again" according to Esquire Magazine (Louis hates him immediately, which is definitely why he internet stalked him in his dark bedroom late at night that one time), and Niall is the best. Zayn and Liam are around too.

Don't hum Bolero.

feel so foolish by @juliusschmidt / juliusschmidt

Louis and his friends keep laughing at Harry; he's sure of it. But he's not sure why.

Pour Your Heart Out by @hrrytomlinson / hrrytomlinson

Louis is his soulmate. Or at least Harry thinks he is. Louis feels the same as Louis. But there are a lot of people named Louis in the world and this Louis might not be the Louis. It’s besides the point though, because Harry knows he can’t allow himself to get close to any boys. He just can’t and he’s told himself this multiple times. He has to simply stay away from Louis Tomlinson. But he can’t. Harry Styles can never stay away from Louis Tomlinson. It’s physically impossible for him to.

Love Is a Kitten from Hell by youbeyou

Louis Tomlinson passes himself off as an arrogant prick at his new school to hide the fact that he's terrified of being bullied again. Just when he's getting tired of putting up walls, he finds himself in a local pet shop where he finds a sanctuary playing with the kittens in the front window.

Harry Styles is the popular football player who works at the pet shop, secretly watching the boy he thought was utterly unlikable prove him wrong.

Partnered together for a class project, Harry gets more and more hints that Louis is actually someone worth getting to know. But the real question is, will Louis let Harry in?

Loner or Lover? by @oops-lt / Vanniebean

An AU in which Harry is a junior who just moved to Doncaster and on his first day of school he makes the schools most popular and loved boy spill coffee on himself. Harry planned on going through high school under the radar, but that quickly changes when he bumps into Louis. Harry gets known to everyone else as the annoying kid who was "rude" to Louis, but to Louis himself, he's stuck on one question. Should he leave the boy as a loner, or become his lover?

Love is like this; not a heartbeat, but a moan by @angelichl /angelichl

"He hates this, more than anything in the world he hates this. His title, his rank, his DNA. Unchangeable. Fated.

And then there’s Harry, born to be unobjectively superior to Louis and all other O’s. Unlike other A’s, Harry doesn’t wear his alpha-ness very well. He’s clumsy with it, like walking around in a pair of shoes a size too big. His life is defined by uncertainty and tentativeness, and those are definitely not qualities alphas should have.

Sometimes, when Louis ponders it for too long, he thinks that maybe Harry resents being an A just as much as Louis resents being an O."

In which Harry loves Louis, but Louis has been cold to him ever since he presented as an omega at age fifteen. Eight years later, Louis approaches Harry with a request, and who is Harry to deny him?

Make It Work by fanshae

Prompt: Arranged marriage AU. Harry is an omega who has reached the age where he must be married due to his family's income status. Only the aristocratic omegas are exempt. His parents try to hide him but eventually the government gets word and in punishment, gives the omega to a spoiled aristocrat son of a lord, Louis. Louis is more than thrilled to have his own omega and once Harry goes into heat, he explores the boy with fascination and unintentionally impregnates him. This leads to a boy used to living carefree and drinking the day away with other nobles to having to face fatherhood.

Be with me so happily by @briannamarguerite / BriaMaria

Harry Styles may have had his doubts at first, but by the time the gates to the elephant sanctuary came into view he was one hundred percent positive. Louis Tomlinson hated his guts. Like hated, hated. Like loathed-him-on-sight hated.

From what Harry could tell, he hadn’t even done anything close to insulting enough to warrant the disdain that was Louis Tomlinson’s default expression whenever he looked at Harry. It really wasn’t fair. Especially since he’d been lusting after the man from the second he’d laid eyes on that pretty, pretty face with those pretty, pretty eyes.

Or ... the one where Harry Styles has a bad reputation and a heart of gold, and Louis Tomlinson wishes he wasn't so enchanted by boys who looked like Disney characters and wore shirts with bumble bees on them.

[aka Louis is the director of the Styles Elephant Sanctuary and really doesn't want to babysit his funder's spoiled lay-about son for two months]

say i hate you but i always stay by @liltinylouis / clicheanna

It was a nice thought, and he must have dozed off to it, because the next thing he was aware of was wet and cold.

Harry shot up in the bed. His hair was dripping, soaked curls hanging in front of his eyes. Droplets of water ran down his bare chest. The sheets and blanket were damp.

Louis stood next to the bed with a smug grin. In one hand he was holding an empty glass.

About thirty minutes later, Harry was parked outside the football pitch. Louis climbed out of the car, duffle bag slung over his shoulder.

He waved at Harry and blew him a kiss as he walked away. Harry flipped him off.

Or the one where Harry hates Louis, he's almost sure Louis hates him, and they live together. Driving him to football practice everyday is not apart of Harry's plans, but Louis is pretty adamant if it means annoying Harry.

don’t believe me just watch by ariadne_odair

The thing is, Louis knows Harry’s name. Harry knows he does. Harry corrects him every time. Repeatedly. Politely. Slightly hysterically that time he’d walked in on Louis sucking a boy off in the toilets.

Uni AU were Harry strongly dislikes the footie captain that calls him Henry no matter how many times Harry corrects him and is unfairly gorgeous. Friends meet friends and somehow they end up alone at Niall's New Years Eve party. Louis says things he wouldn't sober. And do things.

Violets and Paper Airplanes by b0yfriendsinl0ve

Harry likes Louis very much a lot and Louis’ a bit of an arsehole.

Leave Your Mark On Me by @fullonlarrie / FullOnLarrie

When Chef Harry Styles’ unbonded Omega designation threatens to derail his career, he does the only thing he can, and goes in search of a black market bond.

just you wait and see by Orphan Account

In which Harry mistakes Louis' flirting as an attempt to steal his job.

a fully armed battalion (to remind you of my love) by @mediawhorefics / MediaWhore

“He was flirting with you by the way,” Niall says casually once he’s finished saying goodbye to Louis and he’s joined Harry outside.

“No he wasn’t,” Harry replies automatically, feeling his heart clench at the thought. Was he?

Niall simply raises a mocking eyebrow in response before wrapping his scarf twice around his neck.

“Not that it matters!” Harry says quickly, eyes widening. “I wouldn’t care even if he did because he’s awful and the worst.”

Everyone at Hogwarts knows that Professor Styles and Professor Tomlinson absolutely despise each other. It's too bad that they're in love.

#happy fic rec anon #i swear you are next!#my fic rec #bullying #enemies to lovers #hope these help!!!#Anonymous #asks #mine

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yawmanzo · 5 years

Text

Yaws Personal Reflection on Touka Kirishima

I'd like to start of with this quote by Touka in the novels.

“What the hell do you know? It's all because I can't eat, because I could become a target at any time, all because I'm a ghoul! No matter how much I try, there's a wall I can never jump over, and there's happiness I can never have. But I'm still hanging on to life. Despite it all”

Followed by this from part 1.

And of course this from Yomo.

As you can see there’s a pattern, and if I wanted to I could indulge you with a fuckton more Touka quotes/panels to further exemplify these, but I digress because I ramble too much and words alone aren’t enough to truly encapsulate everything in its entirety😒.

Alrighty then, let’s get this long rambling journey started! I dub thee:

“Strength in weakness and Weakness in strength”

What makes Touka such an interesting character for me in terms of her writing is that there’s a lot of nuances to her that make her so fascinating to read. Because of these elements, I feel as though leads to a general misconception/misunderstanding of her character in favor of either completely overlooking or simply dismissing them and marking them as purely simplistic and well… not important/uninteresting. I for one believe that there lies a profound complex simplicity and simple complexity of sorts to a lot of these nuances that can be very easy to miss, but are of crucial note to consider, most especially the subtleties to her growth in :re alongside many important thematic elements of the story, other characters and herself.

Adjacent with this is her own personality, decisiveness , selflessness and immense sheer mental fortitude in the face of adversity; living while losing things, moving forward with the little they have, in the hopes of gaining as little or as much as they can towards a peaceful world where such a thing is virtually taboo for ghouls and humans trapped in the bird cage.

Additionally is her journey being the opposite to Kaneki, wherein he became more ghoul like than human in pursuit of strength (since human is normally denoted as weak). Meanwhile Touka underwent an opposite journey in which she became more human like than ghoul, and there’s a fine dichotomy/conflict for balance between the two that we see with the tribulations faced in the story. In other words strength in weakness (Ghoul- human) and weakness in strength (Human-ghoul) and the various connotations.

Moreover is the conflict she herself feels as a ghoul in viewing herself as a monster, thus wanting to be more human,

even when others view her in a different light in conjunction with the earlier harsh actions she would make for the sake of her survival and of others.

We even see how she saves Kaneki numerous times when she didn't really have any obligation to do so in the beginning after considering his own plight in the world as a half ghoul with no place to belong to via Yoshimuras explanation. It’s due to her caring nature that on the surface comes off as very “hard” due to the exterior she puts up as a result of the life she’s lived.

Special mention to when he almost ate Hide after fighting Nishki in his starving state and her stepping in,

thus saving the both of them, something that made Hide very grateful towards her for. (And Hide being hype wing man since chapter 1)

And although her threatening to kill Hide and Kimi in relation to their human relations with Kaneki and Nishki comes across as very cruel, its also due to the volatile position that they have in human society as ghouls for security and safety.

For all intents of purposes, their safety takes preference, and we see how this does change in her being able to trust them with their secret, because it’s a risky one that could lead to them losing everything.

Which as we know, that level of trust didn't exactly work out too well for her and Ayato as little kids that forced them to fend for themselves in the world.

There are several instances where she does come across as real vicious and as Kaneki says “scary”, but also very caring in her own way during many stages of part 1 when he needed someone the most in the world, which is something he remains eternally grateful to her for in his life. She provided that foundation for him in the ghoul world.

As Uta mentions, she's continuously walking a very tight rope between both worlds and there's a constant struggle faced with everything that she deals with in which she simply cannot afford even the tiniest of slips.

What Touka has wanted from the beginning is a chance at a normal peaceful life, away from the violent lifestyle she was forced into as a ghoul, and all the battles and killings she has had to partake in.

Her envy for the life that humans live, her hatred for herself in being a ghoul yet longing for peace and understanding between both species are ones that continuously drive her character forward. ([x]- @encase great explanation of this!)

It’s always been the characters of a set case between her and Kaneki as stated earlier. Kaneki a former human was forced into the ghoul world yet was already living a violent and miserable human lifestyle. While Touka lived a harsh ghoul life which initially had somewhat of a human like upbringing with Arata and Ayato, before that life was lost. There's also her curiosity in wanting to learn more and be a part of the human world. (@wishes-upon-dreams has lots of good novel shots!)

These are two symbolic thematic attributes of Tokyo Ghoul between these two alone, and all the complications that come with it.

Another worthy line from her in the novels is wherein she and Kaneki make human food for Touka to give to her friend Yoriko after a misunderstanding they had.

Touka remarks on Kaneki attempting to taste the food whilst being aware that he's no longer a full human anymore. Kaneki admits that in the moment that fact was lost on him due to how the food looked and of course him wistfully remembering being able to eat and taste all these types of foods. She comments on which scenario is worse between the two: one who's lost an ability, or one who never had the ability to begin with.

“Who has it worse- someone who was never equipped with a function, or someone who had it and lost it?”

AKA Kaneki losing his ability to eat human food, and Touka never having the ability to eat human food.

Well at least her pregnancy later on gave that nice little cake development parallel.

So... a lot tend to dismiss her as too weak or bland of a character, or how her relationship with Kaneki stripped away her own “independent” character. In other words, her role of importance got reduced. Which… yeah there were times that her appearances got sidelined and so forth in us not seeing her as much. But I'll mention that briefly later with regards to Ishidas writing style with some of his characters.

Firstly, with the “independence” part… a characters relations they have with others doesn’t make them weak that goes concurrently with their very own distinct development. (obviously depending on the circumstances mind you and how its established)

In fact the narrative in TG shows how taking things up solely alone leads to more suffering and increased burden that ultimately comes crashing down towards said character without the bonds they form with others. (Eg Kanekis main flaw that Touka opposes with selfish V selfless that she explicitly exposes him for in part 1 with the bridge scene) Note that there are semblances that both invoke and affect each with in a complementary/similar yet opposing way that I've talked about before in the Touken reflection.

Kaneki takes everyone's burdens by himself in order to protect them, but he's not really the selfless martyr he thinks he is. They never asked for his protection, in fact they want to help and be with him, but he's terrified of losing them, thus opting to shoulder all their burdens. He pushed them away and avoided them in order to protect them, AKA Hide and Touka. In doing so it hurts both sides immensely in not being able to really save the other.

Touka can not only see a bit of Arata and Ayato (soldier of Aogiri) in Kaneki with regards to the whole pursuit of power and strength by waging war and advancing violence to protect, but also a bit of herself in some her own actions done to protect those she cares about that they themselves did not ask for. She hits the nail right on the coffin with him because she knows how he is, because she has that affect on him.

This is seen in the novels to an extent with her fighting off students that made fun of Yoriko. Yoriko mentioned that she didn't want Touka to do that for her even though it hurt her. The situation simply just made her more sad, along with Yorikos own lack of self worth in feeling like she was a burden to Touka.

When Touka partakes in her revenge against Mado and the doves for killing Ryouko in order to protect Hinami

a similar thing happens (which wasn't all violence as seen by her trying to give misinformation to the CCG and stir attention away from them).

Hinami laments that she never wanted revenge, but was rather just sad. In both instances Touka doesn't understand why her protecting them through those means was wrong at first, but we see how it affects her in each case with regards to the feelings of those she cares about.

Touka mentions Ayatos reluctance in not wanting to learn more about human society and wanting to safely protect him when it's the same human society that led to their parents demise and one that is systematically established to kill them . After all, humans are just food to them as ghouls, and ghouls are monsters to them right?

With these genuinely selfless actions and ideals, she realized how they pushed the people she cared about. Actually it's quite sad how Touka is always getting abandoned by those she cares about in her life, such as Hikari,Arata,Ayato,Kaneki, Hinami, Yoshimura, Irimi, Koma, Yoriko etc etc. Obviously each of these throughout her life have different factors to them through her own actions and those of others that led to being left alone and or tragically losing them.

Along with this is generally her struggle in communicating/expressing her true feelings towards others through words alone which can often lead to ironic misunderstandings in the moment that she regrets many times.

(which is a trait she shares with Yomo and Ayato).

“I'm really bad at sorting out my feelings, and although I try to put up a good front, I'm incredibly immature, and I hate that about myself”-Touka

Man the novels really are such gems with extra insight to her character. In essence you can show how she does have good intentions. She really doesn't want to lose more of her loved ones and be alone, unless it involves letting go in certain situations and considerations.

I’m not necessarily justifying her relapse in actions here, but you can see just how pissed off she got with Kanekis tragic heroism vendetta

,that and well the man straight up lied about not leaving her alone. (thanks Hide for the chin tip).

Yes Kaneki does genuinely want to “protect” his loved ones,

but he's doing it all wrong in never even considering their own feelings in regard to his whole quest and them being unable to help him, hence being selfish and not wanting to be alone himself. As we see, it’s something he eventually realizes due to Touka’s effect on him.

(which is another thing that both share, fear of being alone that they express differently yet similarly) Cool how the whole rabbit motif is used to exemplify this too, since they can die from loneliness due to the strong relationship bonds they form.

Doing everything alone is a constant no no in TG. Cough Kenny boy, rely on your loved ones, they love you. Though we see how and why he and many others in the story become that way with the whole “you're weak and lack of ability” perception for power and strength. It’s very understandable for many of these characters and it’s quite profound with the many layers to it aside from just the physical that at times come across as very contradictory. “Weakness in strength and strength in weakness”

Tangent, but this also goes in conjunction with Uries development in overcoming that very same flaw he had himself to where he realized it faster than Kaneki did.

And of course the whole point of the dragon arc to show that people, in other words everyone (ghouls and humans) HAVING to rely on each other to combat a common threat and achieve coexistence when needed to even with the flawed prejudiced nature of the human world towards ghoul kind.

Anyways, back to Touka chan.

I really do not believe Touka to be a “weak” character. In fact she’s very strong in her own way since there’s many different types of “strength” and complexities to many of these characters. One who’s strength does not solely rely on her physical abilities or quick thinking/hard work (I mean hell she caught up to years of school at a late age almost gearing up to go to Kamii university which is for proper smart students whilst working at Ainteku). And of course her curiosity on learning more about the world with regards to humans and ghouls that she later instilled in a rather practical sentimental manner as an “advisory” figure.

Ya’ll remember when she was basically hood AF in the streets with that underground ghoul dialect?

By the way holy hell she can speak two languages, that's pretty dope. Except for those skills in Japanese literature... lol that’s just a Rip😂

Point being there are many different testaments of complexity and strength she possess as her own character away from just “the physical”.

Growth

Touka’s character matures and grows a lot in :re becoming more passive, cool headed and wiser as the manager of :re. Like when I first read :re bruh, I was always like “woah this is Touka now? Damn she's changed so much” (and got more thicc)

even with some of her distinct traits still being there… Like her blunt and direct 0 fucks teasing sass, I love me some sass. She definitely lived up to Aintekus legacy and then some with Yoshimuras influence.

She valued the importance of peacekeeping as manager of :re, and its implied that her, Yomo and Nishki performed those roles, similar to how Yoshimura did with the bits of informants they had from others as well.

She became not just more empathetic but generally more sympathetic to an extent, understanding and kind towards others most especially those that wronged her, those she cares about and those she herself has hurt in the past. We see this time and time again.

Few examples include her giving Shinohara the flowers

tying into her forgiveness arc with Arata, the violent CCG perpetual cycle in general, and also got tied in with Juuzou

which got referenced as a point of contention for their characters during their encounter underground.

We see this with Shuu and her explanation for why cafe :re exists as an homage to Ainteku for humans and for ghouls to feel safe in (the spiritual home of coexistence) , as well as a place for Kaneki to return home to, as Yoshimura once wished for with Eto.

Touka prioritizes his well being and happiness over hers, even with the flawed situation wherein they both care about Kaneki in their own way and have differing viewpoints.

Shuu admits to Touka that she’s right in him being an egotist, alongside seeing her point of view when he fights Haise.

Touka also admits that she understands where Shuu is coming from, because she does desire for Kaneki to be with them.

Both parties raise valid points in their own way since they do genuinely care, however the difference in intent further shows that selfless nature of Touka in waiting for Kaneki to come back when HE needs to, not by forcing him when Haise had the whole Haise/Kaneki memory personality conflict that he needed to resolve himself that we see in the Rosewald and Cochlea arcs.

It’s also interesting to note how Kaneki in part 1 distanced himself to protect her from the ghoul world whilst being aware that she as a ghoul can never truly live with just being solely in the human world and the dangers that it possesses in it’s own right towards ghouls.

In :re she means for him not be brought back into the ghoul world due to his suffering in it for so long in order to protect his well being and happiness.

Yet the human world he lives in the CCG is also categorized by violence, suffering and conflict that Haise/Kaneki gets further thrown into. Plus we see how Shuu himself feels about that world due to what happened with his own family in their battle against CCG and Kaneki/Haise being a ghoul investigator. Both cases show how genuine and flawed these motives are, yet also painting the feelings they have in caring for the other in their own distinct ways that's not as straightforward black and white. “Selfish V Selfless”

She forgives her brother Ayato because she understood him to an extent with his faults (not that she ever harbored hatred for him in the first place because she loves him).

Touka sees why he did the things he did because. He wanted to become stronger in Aogiri and protect her, even though he hurt her, as Kaneki exposed to him in their fight. Cue 103 god damn bones.

“Does it hurt? I think Touka chan experienced more pain than that”- Kaneki

Yeah nah... That’s just tough😂 Later on we see how Ayato took this to heart by taking on the Black Rabbit persona in order to lure CCG investigators away from Touka, thus clearing her tracks.

With this she goes to assure him with sincerity in directing him in the right path moving forward despite everything, thus mending their complicated sibling relationship in their own Tsundere Kirishima way.

She gives Kaneki his will to live through her loyal love, influence and support spanning years and years of waiting with the undying faith she possesses towards those she cares about and to him. Not that she had to herself anyway since Kaneki always held her on such a high level of importance in his life throughout the whole story with ALL his personalities and their whole evolutionary dynamic as a whole.

That's another thing about her, that fierce faith is truly special despite the instances it isn’t rewarded.

I mean when this man was on the verge of losing everything and giving in on his plan to die in style, the thought of her and everyone else dying kept him going along with the Hide inner monologue during the Arima fight.

“It may not be stylish, but live”

She allows Goat and the lost ghouls (including the Aogiri children) to use cafe :re as their safety hideout away from CCG, that has CCG members themselves (AKA 0 squad). Once again reinforcing that spiritual home of coexistence.

Side note- another cool tidbit is seeing Toukas natural maternal instincts with children, something we saw bits of with Hinami and Ayato in part 1 as well as the novels.

Her taking care of the ghoul children with Hinami and reading to them were always super adorable to see in also foreshadowing her as a mother and just generally a very kind caring person which she's always been at heart.

Next big demonstration of her growth we see is the convo with Amon in which they both come to a mutual understanding of the circumstances that forced their actions in such a cruel world of kill or be killed.

alongside her offering advice to him about going to see Akira in relation to her feelings about Kaneki.

Then there’s the Akira convo with Hinami: which remains one of my favorites indications of how much she’s developed from part 1 (also because of how similar Touka and Akira are in many ways... I love em). Chapter 120 was one of the first major steps towards seeing how these characters can break the human/ghoul violent perpetual cycle with general empathy and even sympathy to an extent as difficult as it may be. To instill hope into their world, where all they knew was hopeless continuous bloodshed.

Being able to confront Akira directly with what happened, not being focused on continuing the cycle of revenge.

Going on to showcase some semblance of being able to relate with her own experiences and of their fathers in painting the cruel intricate nature of both sides in regards to the actions they take- be it survival, revenge, power to protect, or all the above. Thus slowly shifting Akira’s ingrained beliefs and perspective to it’s core.

It's interesting how Ishida mentioned inspiration from a war documentary applied in the reconciliation between Akira and Hinami , and Touka was the one that initiated that through her development and teachings from others and her own life experiences.

(Shout to Sen for the translations! @kenkamishiro)

Mind you this was a VERY complicated and tough situation wherein those wounds aren’t somehow magically healed between them, but at the very least the continuous cycle of vengeance was subverted in order to move forward.

She's often seen as a very forgiving person towards others in :re, too forgiving at times actually, which is one of her biggest strengths and weaknesses. Or that she doesn't “fight hard” enough and let's go too easily. But one can also see why she's like that, mainly due to the priorities she sets and well… she ain't got time to dwell on things like revenge, war and violence anymore even if it's completely warranted and justified. She's seen and experienced first hand what that does to herself and others time and time again. She knows the script and prioritizes moving forward away from that, even if it hurts her and them having to constantly pick and choose in the process.

As long as a situation of conflict can be resolved in any way, they'll continue to live and survive in the world. Mental fortitude is a big strength of hers when it comes to pressing forward in the face of adversity.

It’s even more notable to notice this development when looking back at the violent, angsty and tragic harsh life she lived as a ghoul with Ayato from childhood towards their teens years. After all it's a kill or be killed world, one where the strong take from the weak, and the weak are the ones that perish.

That and how viciously she lashed out at others, herself and the world through violence and rage due to that bloody ghoul lifestyle. The hard harsh exterior, soft kind interior continuously interchanged, intertwined and crossed several thresholds.

Highkey nice heavy parallel to Hikari and Arata though. As Yomo mentioned, Hikari used to be quite savage back when she was younger until she calmed down later on in life with her family, and where Arata was a really kind pacifist type ghoul, her death led to him later becoming a “monster” out of revenge that resulting in his downfall. In many ways also applying to both Touka and Kaneki with their own unique divergences. And of course the parallels between Ayato and Yomo in regards to their respective pursuits for strength and revenge.

“The world is power, let’s use power to decide who’s superior. Careless idiot. You are weak. So you lose. Just like father.”- Ayato

“Who is the strongest? I fucking am”- Kaneki

“...I want to become strong”- Yomo

“I also need to get stronger”- Touka

“Strength in weakness and weakness in strength”

“Strength” and “power” as a whole is extremely intricate, with all the different types of it in its many variations/forms that come with their own respective advantages and disadvantages.

So many of these different attributes and aspects we see to be something that many characters in the story come to admire from Touka as a person, a ghoul , sister, friend, wife and manager of :re/ fellow leader of GOAT along with Kaneki and right hand man Shuu.

Sure Ishida could have definitely utilized and actually showcased more scenes with her doing things in which we could see a lot of this development/moments onscreen, especially the first half of :re (as a matter of fact I’d be on the first train to destination MORE TOUKA STUFF AND WRITING EMPHASIS PLEASE)

But one can also deduce the salient impact of her smaller scale actions/motivations that attribute to the plot, many characters and the very essence of the story thematically and even that of her character. A phrase I always use to describe that belief is “Yo Touka is doing bits” which basically means how those moments may seem really minuscule at first, but are actually very meaningful.

This also includes her evolving personality from part 1 as a consequence of the melancholic and painful stoic adverse nature of the world that genuinely did affect her for many years on end. There’s also kind of parallel with her really. Second half of part 1 Touka scenes weren’t as much in favor of Kaneki and other characters development, but they were very impactful in their own moments, in contrast to the first half of :re with a similar sentiment.

Plus I mean well, one can see how much Ishida struggled with writing his main cast of characters in :re with part 1 characters and side characters with some getting more development/ specific writing priority over others in different fashions alongside MANY plot points and concepts. That and yes several plot points and character interactions with her did get dropped in the story/didn't get as much development on screen as they should have, which mind you isn't just exclusive to her character alone like in the case of several others. One little missed opportunity is the Yoriko reunion that didn't happen on screen which was really unfortunate as that would have been so emotional to see for them both, (and me since I kept waiting for it)

But at least she saw her wedding with Bujin to make sure she was ok

and them reuniting offscreen during the end time skip was good. Ichika loving aunty Yorikos bread and Mucchans apples is a blessing, so thank goodness for that.

And yes there's a lot of other stuff that could be mentioned as well that would have been great to see onscreen, but eh what can you do.

While many favor her character in part 1, which is fair because my god she was fire AF🔥

it’s also important to notice all the subtle factors that led to her personality and growth shifting the way it did from a teenager to young adult whilst still maintaining her distinct “Touka” traits (then again I love her in everything so😅). That’s the whole point of it, to show how people change in life, what would be the point if she remained the exact same as part 1 in terms of writing?

Again, different strokes for different folks, but I personally appreciate both depictions and find them very fascinating in their own rights especially with their flaws that continuously kept me glued to her character even with the discrepancies in screen time.

In other words, I find her journey very interesting to read and interpret, particularly since there’s a lot of writing cues to her in favor of being designated in deciphering rather than explicitly stated in all lines of text and dialogue. Perhaps that’s the main issue with some aside from the whole her not being shown as much? The fact that a lot of the writing is nuanced in several ways and not as right in your face with text panels/ inner monologues and inner character thoughts emphasized and fleshed out? Either way, those visual cues/elements of show don’t tell and at times “less equals more” being implemented in the story are ones that always make me so passionate about her character. To ascertain her thoughts, feelings, actions and motivations when the narrative doesn’t state it as right in your face but rather deduced through the already established notions and elements that are set/keep getting set.

I have no idea if I’m making sense😑

But yeah that’s how I see it. Like something as simple as her just not saying anything, or words being omitted in favor of emphasis being placed on subtle visual representation in a panel just makes me want to always see more of her and decipher her thoughts without her even having to state all of them outwardly. This conveyance without the need of many words (which don’t get me wrong would be greatly appreciated in many instances!) doesn’t really hinder her as boring to me, rather very intriguing, but again each to their own you know?

Continuing on her desire to be with those she loves and not be alone, in other words to gain as much as she can with the little available while losing things. She told Ayato the same sentiment which can ESPECIALLY be meant for Kaneki too.

“Rely on others for a change”

An aspect of her strength stems from her ability and strong personality in which she carries herself when all the odds are against her, and when she herself is very limited to what she can achieve by herself alone in the world, yet continues to fight either way. In other words… she’s realistic in seeing the world as it is with all ones flawed strengths and weaknesses in the face of the tribulations they face and the choices they must make for better or for worse, positive and negative. It also shows the priorities she places in fighting reactively, in other words when she HAS to or in regards to those she cares about where she would rather avoid using violence to solve conflicts in :re unless pressed to do so in response to something or when pressed.

Eg. Saving Shuu from CCG investigators that were on his ass.

The Kirishima family and Banjou squad Cochlea fights to save Hinami thanks to Kaneki’s aid.

Versus the Arima squad members

Sneaky sister save as mask 33.

and versus Arima himself (which honestly that's just a Rip for the whole family).

Being aided by Eto to push on forwards.

Fighting off Special class Kyoko Aura, Mougan and other CCG members with the other ghouls namely Yomo, Banjou, his squad and Hinami when they themselves were already fatigued. And of course protecting Ayato

showcasing her emerging two wings with that based Hikari Yomo lightning ⚡⚡

Later combining forces with Kaneki and 0 squad to escape.

Then there's her fight against Mutsuki that endangered not just her and Kanekis lives, but led to the destruction of :re. The whole shit underground wherein they got attacked whilst already starved and with little resources, forcing retaliation to survive.

And of course operation save Kenny and Tokyo with dragon. (Title drop)

That doesn’t necessarily make her “weak”, or one who doesn't do much fighting because she's a damsel, particularly when she’s PREGNANT from 128 to the 170s. She fights only when pushed to do so.

Again in 123-124 she held her own against Mutsuki (who’s very strong) when her cafe got destroyed by the oggai and kept her cool, suppressing her emotions when taunted with Yorikos fake “fate” in an attempt to get her all triggered (once more showing her development in :re as part 1 Touka would have definitely lashed out in justified rage)

We see she's clearly hurt by this in 124 despite her trying desperately to subvert that fact and not showcase that much emotion when Kaneki asks if she's ok. She's obviously not as another home/dream of hers got crushed, and its conveyed so effectively yet subdued without her even saying much via her vulnerable posture and her switching the subject to Hide in order to deal with her own feelings about Yoriko, but also that of how Kaneki felt about both Hide and Touka in this painful situation.

Both distanced themselves from their friends in order to protect them, yet yearned desperately to see them. Kaneki did the same with Touka and Hide, Touka did the same with Yoriko and Haise/Kaneki, and as was revealed via talking about Hide- was something he couldn't do anything about. Because if he thought about it, he'd just be consumed by the desire to see them again. Cue Akon “Lonely, I'm mister lonely” and them rooting like rabbits.

You can see how without even saying anything through her facial expressions how Touka feels,

She’s able to connect everything in regards to how they mutually feel the same about this with their friends and their own feelings for each other. Both were terrified of the other dying.

Which of course led to them finally being able to close that gap of loneliness and pain in which they made love and consummated their relationship.

Despite all the fuckery of the world around them, all the war that they were in, for just one moment they were finally able to experience happiness in the darkness that both had craved for so long with each other, and it speaks volumes to one of the most important and emotionally resonate symbolic messages of the series. Breaking the barrier between both worlds.

Ghoul-Human

Hell speaking about the unplanned pregnancy, let’s go back to the human esc journey. The narrative has explicitly explained the dangers of human food consumption for ghouls since the very beginning.

In her fight with Ayato, it’s clear how this type of lifestyle has considerably weakened her full ghoul potential in reference to her one Ukaku wing

and lack of that cold ghoul intensity she used to have as Shuu states.

As mentioned before, Ayato finds her wanting to be part of human society (that denotes weakness) to be idiotic and dangerous due to what happened with their parents and Arata’s upbringing.

Leading his pursuit for ghoul strength and hatred towards humans in Aogiri (which does change through his own development later on)

Yomo also criticized this during their training via her eating Yorikos food to fit in so much at school (novels and part 1)

and the Itori talk to Kaneki about the failures of ghoul-human hybrids which also gets referenced later with the flawed half humans.

Later we see Touka ask Kaneki about how Eto was kept alive with Yoshimura a ghoul father and Ukina a human mother. The difference of course is the reverse in the situation for a ghoul mother.

And of course Mutsuki’s taunting during their second big fight where Touka was at a clear disadvantage.

SHE KNOWS human food is bad for her body due to its weakening effect. It's been a reoccurring thing for her ever since her upbringing with Arata and what influenced her curiosity in wanting to understand humans and the world they live in. Simultaneously it’s almost like she herself is fighting against that known fact and still trying desperately to fit into some kind of normal human esc style of life as a ghoul when she knows she realistically can't.

To be able to enjoy things like cake, burgers and so forth when her ghoul body prohibits this. After all as ghouls they have no choice but to eat humans. Kaneki himself is even baffled by the lengths she would go just to uphold Yorikos feelings over her own. I mean she could easily just lie and not eat the food at all right?

And yet she still goes the extra mile to not only protect Yorikos feelings whilst endangering herself because she cares so much, but also fight against the notion of her being a ghoul to an almost foolish extent.

It’s why the whole “don’t die, push through me, live” as she’s forcing herself to eat human food to try save her unborn child Ichika is so powerful in contrast to the strong will by Ukina (a human) who actually can digest and cannibalize human meat for her hybrid child Eto.

For a ghoul to eat human food, is essentially like hell, and if she didn't, her body would naturally consume the foetus, furthermore adding to the perception of her being a monster by taking her own child's life. Her chance at becoming a mother and starting a family would be lost. That's why she’s willing to do anything to give her child even the faintest 1% chance of survival, regardless of how it may hurt and weaken her or how slim the possibilities of success are. [x- great commentary by @mamasaiko and @lilacflamesss !)

That’s why her becoming pregnant didn’t hinder her character to me, it restricted her full potential absolutely, but it also presented the opportunity to put her into extremely constrained dangerous scenarios wherein her immense fortitude and willpower would be tested to its limits with regards to her ability to always make choices, for better or for worse. Again it’s that strength we see numerous characters admire from her. The hybrid pregnancy is something that should be a very positive thing and very well is as with the whole hope and symbolic aspect of the series for some semblance of light in the darkness.

It presented the main core message of coexistence in breaking away from the tragic cycle that several characters looked towards, yet it was also one due to situation/wrong timing that added more struggles and tribulations to be faced. THAT’S THE CONFLICTING DILEMMA that was so damn enthralling and stressful AF to bear witness to!

Her being able to make tough choices time and time again whether she likes them or not. The underground alone had her being forced to lead the ghouls (including children) out of danger and leave her loved ones in order to protect herself, her unborn child and the lives of those ghouls. From Yomo,

to 0 squad,

to Hinami all in quick succession… SHE DOESN’T WANT to leave her loved ones, she hates doing that with them having to protect her and being abandoned. But in the situation it’s something she HAS to do by trusting them with that faith. In fact we see in her situation with Hinami how desperately she tries to aid her even with her weakened condition by getting all pissed off.

It was only when Hinami told her to go protect the children did she finally make that choice.

We don't even see her clouded facial expression or her thoughts, their blocked, which further adds the front she's trying so hard to put in order to remain strong and keep going even though we know it's absolutely killing her inside. She tries to reach out Hinami, but she knows she can't waste more time in hesitating with her decision given the situation, because if she did… well they'd all get fucked.

It's also quite poignant to note the arcs of both here. Hinami herself is still by all means a child of sorts, or rather a young adult protecting her older sister figure, as Touka did for her in part 1 and the novels.

Hinami's character development is one for strength and self worth, and it was depicted very beautifully yet sad with her monologue about her own perceived weakness she expressed to Ayato and how she viewed Touka and Kaneki in being a burden to them, hence seeking strength by joining Aogiri.

Hinami was able to fight side by side with Touka in her weakened condition, both watching each others backs.

Which is something that makes Touka proud in how much Hinami has grown, yet it also adds to the whole “living while losing things” in that situation in trusting her strength against such volatile odds in order to press forwards with her own survival, that of her unborn child and that of the other helpless ghouls when she hates doing so but has to do so. Like Ryouko did for Hinami.

Special mention is Hinamis admiration for her stemming all the way from the beginning “strong, delicate, beautiful”. You did wonderfully in becoming all that and more with your development too Hina👏

When she sees Yorikos letter, SHE WANTS TO SAVE HER and you can see how shocked and pained she is her just by her facial expression

but given Goats very volatile position and Kaneki “dying” at the time, she simply can’t as it would jeopardize their whole organization, and thus she chooses her family, Kaneki and their child when Kaneki himself struggles with his own indecisiveness that could have truly been a trap to lure them into action not based on fortified assurance.

This is another instance Kaneki greatly admires in contrast to his flaw in being indecisive and choosing.

The circumstance itself places this cruel obligation on her to make those choices, but she makes them either way because she has to, otherwise as we’ve seen in TG, failure in making a choice leads to more tragedy. Shit even MAKING choice or choosing not to MAKE a choice can still very well result in that. She COULD have very well elected to save Yoriko, similar to how they went to save Hinami in cochlea (with Ayato, Yomo and Banjou squad) or save Kaneki when he get got captured by Aogiri

in contrast to how she elected to save Kaneki in the dragon arc (joining forces with CCG and the ghouls). These are all separate choices due to different circumstances and considerations that she makes within those emotional situations, and I love the little line in 148 that she says to Nishki.

“What should I do?”

She contemplates all the factors and elements available in making a choice. Can they with just the ghouls save Kaneki and Tokyo at large? How do they do that in the first place with the limited resources they have? All she’s known is loss, so... should they just carry on living with that for their own survival when Tokyo is in danger? [x]

Like… there's a lot of unspoken suffering that she was going through in that whole arc alone. Her very own husband and father of their child who called her a monster in the beginning,

became one himself in order to protect them and see her again by devouring most of Tokyo consisting of humans, ghouls and children when they were all on the brink…

That's tough... and really fucked up. But given the pushed situation (that sure could have been subverted prior), a choice had to be made once again in which they'd face the consequences either way.

Whilst I’ve said that a defining trait of hers is that decisiveness and ability to choose, she herself always contemplates her choices and the consequences thereof even when they are purely emotionally driven. Should I do this? Should I do that? What if I had done this? What if I had done that? In fact that’s the thing about TG in general with MANY characters. As a matter of fact it applies to the whole cast in general really.

The choices they make, and how it’s not always about whether they are “right” or “wrong” but about how they’re made and how one continues pushing forward from said choice. “Forever choosing, forever being chosen”

And of course the dilemma between one's desire for even the tiniest semblance of happiness opposed to the tough predicament they face and all the outcomes that results from it that prohibit such.

“Why do things have to be like this?”

Her breakdown at the end of part 1 added greatly to that during the Ainteku raid where they lost everything. She wanted to go help everyone, she didn't want to lose them, yet Yomo stopped her because they had to choose not to in order for them to keep on living with Yoshimura, Irimi and Komas sacrifice, otherwise it would have all been for naught. “Live while losing things”

Kaneki chose to go fight in order to aid/protect everyone because he was tired of not being able to do anything anymore. As a result, it led to his subsequent “death” and tragedy (with the exception of buying time for Irima and Koma v Arima)

In fact he ponders what if he had chosen to stay away and gone with Touka and Yomo. Perhaps he'd have been able to work with them in the new cafe?

Perhaps if Touka and Yomo went to fight with Kaneki they'd make a difference? Perhaps if Kaneki didn't go all alone in 143 of :re the situation may have played out differently in contrast to how Furuta exposed him?

The answer is yes, no, maybe, maybe not. No one knows, and it's easy to continuously contemplate every single possibility and theoretical outcome. All that matters is how they have to make those tough choices and live with them, no matter the cost.

Also the fact that we only rarely see her true vulnerable, insecure and visible emotions other then when she's like... angry or something is another trait I find very interesting. Because when we do, it’s impactful and hits home just how much she tends to internalize within herself. In other words, the front she puts on. Her always suppressing her emotions with that strong mental fortitude speaks volumes of the struggles she continuously undergoes internally and externally.

That emotional breakdown was just building bruh.

The fact that we don’t have to be told exactly what she’s thinking or how she’s feeling, but are rather shown how she’s trying to hold herself together even with her face either turned away from the reader or her turning her back in several panel illustrations denotes so many melancholic elements to be interpreted within the story.

Another side note- some are actually quite funny and aesthetically appealing to me. She just looks so tired/bored and like... done with everything with those half lidded eyes that convey so much (Idk I just relate heavy AF with that😂)

Hence always looking for those subtle details in her character that add so many layers. Ooo also the times when we get to see both her eyes (true feelings), that's super cool.

Relying on the strength of others is not weak in wanting to help protect them. I mean nothing is wrong at all in wanting to become stronger by yourself for the sake of others, but going completely solo and shouldering all those burdens with just one's own strength is completely detrimental to the highest degree.

In fact her fighting with that pregnant condition when she shouldn’t have and being able to fend for herself before said condition along with her Ukaku stamina issues, stress, lack of sleep and starving inevitably prohibited her full potential is in itself also inspiring. Like dude wtf she's out here fighting with all those disadvantaged restrictions that endanger her? That's badass. Being faced with the predicament of WHAT TO DO versus WHAT ONE CAN DO with limited means. And yet with all that, she still dug Kaneki from dragon by herself after fending off Mutsuki

and the dragon clones

with the timely aid of Urie, Saiko. Even Mutsuki, the one she fought prior and tried to reach out to peacefully given the dire situation and not their own personal differences.

Symbolically the wife of Kaneki, and children of Haise Sasaki came together to save him in that instance with the foreshadowing of the Qs and dragon.

Touka was key to the dragon arc in general. That was the point of the whole arc, further showing the fruits of her development as well, combining strength with others, both humans and ghouls. All elements needed each other to succeed. There’s a reason Hide went out to look for Touka in the ghoul camp.

Not to mention how crucially important these two are throughout the narrative in reference to the fool's journey namely the Magician (Hide) and the High Priestess (Touka) to the fool (Kaneki)

“The Magician and High Priestess are absolutely equal in importance and value. Each is necessary for balance” [x]

He himself was extremely vital in gathering all the different sides and information for the pieces to be in place such as Marude, Urie, Kimi with the CCG, recruiting Amon and Akira, and of course Touka with the ghouls.

Touka leading the ghouls there after being ignited by Shuus emotional fire speech

and all the assurance to combine their strength and efforts with the CCG was a true indication of that. Great stuff by all 3 Aces (Touka, Hide, Shuu) right there. [nice catch! @kanekikenunot]

Touka coming up with the ring idea was of extreme importance, in fact it was the very idea that kick started the whole operation in the first place!

Beforehand was her translating the underground ghoul dialect thanks to Ayatos adventure underground

in order to form the pieces necessary to ignite the operation by condensing the seemingly impossible search for Kaneki to being more focused and fortified to the point that they could track him down with Shuu and Mirimos influence with the metal detectors.

Worthy note is the perception she emits to Hide in always not being able to save Kaneki and him always saving her. We know she has saved him numerous times physically, emotionally, and mentally and the same with Kaneki to her, but it's important to note how she mentions “this time”.

It's like despite all the times they've saved each other with all those different aspects, something always caused them to get separated or to face more and more suffering painting all the times as somewhat futile. And this time, given the monster he's become, she means to truly save him at all costs no matter what.

And my god, chapter 160 is one of my favorites due to the parallel with 145 where Kaneki lost control becoming dragon with it having no dialogue whatsoever in favor of pure visual storytelling.

You could just feel the sheer immense strain, pressure, rampant despair and pain of Touka desperately trying to save her husband.

A Silent Scream is what I call these two chapters that I talked about before, wherein the omission of words paints the whole “a picture is worth a thousand words”.

Her breakdown was so emotionally resonate with how we hardly see her like that. Referencing back to the visuals without having to be shown lines of text or dialogue. Something as simple as her finding Kanekis hand grasping her parents ring (the bond that ties their own marriage together) in pressing forward like a centipede with Touka as his sole motivation and strength, is definitely something that destroys her in which you can just hear the horrifying scream she emits.

Because she's not just reminded of her impending failure with the current situation, but also the tragedy that befell her own parents, and the cycle of revenge she was a part of with Mado that aided in her ability to empathize with Akira and Amon. [good eye! @dreamofcentipedes]

It's these little tiny details that are always there, and while sure some may be a stretch in providing more depth/ over reaching, they remain considerations that add so much. For a moment she ponders if the tragic cycle is something they'll never be able to break free from, whether it's something that will always keep them trapped in the birdcage, unable to fly towards a clear blue sky, something she always looks towards in many panel illustrations. [x]

And yet despite it all she never gave up, her faith kept pushing her forwards to continue the mission. And she was able to succeed. Her efforts and choices were not in vain.

Yo... scope this little line here.. “Don't push yourself ok”

Touka… Dude… We don't deserve you honestly. Finna say that after all the fuckery you just went through in pushing yourself... smh

Still out here not resting waiting for your man's to wake up and be ok.

Top tier I swear...(PLS GET SOME SLEEP)

Which then shows another instance of that non verbal communication during her embrace with Kaneki. Within that one swift motion and the “thump” sound effect presumably of their hearts beating, she conveyed all she needed to without having to say anything.

Thank goodness she was finally able to rest by the end and chill with Saiko is best Saiko, because honestly… She needed that.

And although she had to continue waiting (god how long has she had to that ?) for her loved ones to return,

that fierce faith was fortunately rewarded with Ayato and Kaneki returning in the end.

Like I said, one of the many reasons I admire Toukas strength so much is that it strays away from the typical norm that would usually warrant a narrative tool in making one “weaker” via the ghoul-human journey just for the sake of it or for her to be “helpless”.

“Go, you are not just some onlooker, nor are you powerless. You just have other things to protect right?”-Yomo

And I just… really want to root for her to overcome all the odds that are placed in her and everyone else's paths in whatever way they can. “Strength in weakness, weakness in strength”

It’s not exactly an underdog story classification, but instead to me points out an interesting conflict between ones seemingly futile (at the time given the high failure rate) yet deepest desires/ wishes for some semblance of hopeful happiness in the world. And ones need to survive by any limited means often being forced to make hard to impossible choices accordingly so to protect and live with the few means available to them that they can achieve by themselves alone, and or with that of others.

Bruh… I could go on rambling forever and I'd still be missing several points😓 that many others have mentioned too. But essentially her undying love, selflessness, compassion, faith, and strength are qualities that have always stood out to me in their own right since the beginning until the very end. And in general it’s just truly satisfying that by the end all her suffering, waiting and perseverance paid off. Although it was never explicitly stated, many (including myself) speculate that she did open up another coffee shop by the end, which would be a really nice ribbon bow touch to that as well. 3rd times the charm?

She was finally to gain the normal life that she never thought possible with the combined efforts of both sides, the worlds that Kaneki found a place in. Being able to peacefully live with her family, husband, baby girl Ichika (with another boyo on the way) and loved ones.

Her wish for happiness was granted.

Personally Toukas character journey has truly been a pleasure to witness over over the course of the series, and it’s one that has forever put her in such a special place in my heart, compelling flaws and all😄

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