#and that doesn't make me feel good

[inkskinned]

in internet posts it is easy to cut them out of your life. they are hurting you! they aren't listening to you!

they held your hair back. they lent you lipstick. they held your hand at the train station and got you home safe. they rounded on your bully, got loud, said get fucked, spitting-mad in your defense.

they also cut the hair off again. told you that you should really think twice before wearing something like that. took you for granted. took your insecurities and threw them in your face again.

you know logically it should be easy. all the internet advice comments always read it will feel better. like an equation - if a person is rotten, you just remove them. you pull the tooth that's hurting.

but it was never a big flare-up moment. you don't live in a sitcom. they never tried to take your boyfriend or steal from your apartment. they showed up to birthdays and they wrote songs about you and bring you water without you asking. once you found out they carry an emergency inhaler for you, even though you haven't had an asthma attack in years - just in case.

where is the line? people fuck up. sometimes they fuck up badly. sometimes people have raw personalities, like a powerline, and being around them is dangerous. addicting. sometimes they can't help themselves, but you know they're trying. sometimes they are just rough-around-the-edges. sometimes they don't even realize how they sounded when they said that. sometimes it's just - you've both loved each other for so long now, the way this thing hurts goes back to the root.

and that's the fucked up part. you have pushed your fingers against the sweetheart of memory. things these days are electric, tense, harrowing. they didn't used to be. there were a lot of good days in there. sometimes you want to just close your eyes and say can this be over yet? do we still need to be fighting?

doing that would give up any chance you get of getting an apology, but you don't always know that you need an apology, you love them. once they flaked on your birthday party. once they told you to get over it, people are always dying. they also let you crash on their couch for a week after the breakup, handfeeding you when you were so sad you couldn't eat. they are also judgmental about everything, occasionally react to banal statements with an attitude that is weird and fiery. they also love you like a lighthouse sometimes, so strong they cut the storm like lightning.

but the problem is that you might be storm. you might be the thing that needs breaking. what if you are two forces who are desperately, horribly drawn to each other, shaped by the other person's passions, and both good for each other and bad in equal measure.

what if you're both just people, and you're no saint neither.

just cut them off! swallowing the saltwater, you catch yourself in the mirror. you've been shaking more than usual. there's an ache in you that is oblique, loud, impossible to soothe. is this what it looks like? when life is "easier"?

your mouth will always have a hole, is the thing, if you remove the tooth.

#spilled ink #warm up #writeblr #this is about someone specific but feel free to blorbo on main. #tbh this is familial for me so that is an element but it's also about childhood best friends #and probably about ur enemies to lovers blorbo #(but i want to specifically say if ur partner is like this. not necessarily a good partnership lol.) #(the dynamics at play in familial/friend relationships feel equally important and in some ways are HARDER to escape. #bc we can see that this is a potentially toxic romantic foundation. #but in family ? ...... it's toxic and it doesn't stop u from loving them. bc u always have. #and i think that makes it harder. by a lot. which is what this is referencing). #but genuinely and really truly forever feel free to tag ur potentially toxic enemies to lovers on this and all my poetry #here i'll do one for u - adora & catra :x

[ruporas]

hugs hugs hugs (ID in alt)

#nicholas d wolfwood #vash the stampede #meryl stryfe #milly thompson #trigun #trigun maximum #and i guess #trigun maximum spoilers #i feel like i could talk forever about wolfwood’s unexpected important presence of care for the 3 of them but im also so Limited bc #half of it would be sources:just trust me #especially when it comes to meryl and wolfwood FMSMD HALF OF THEIR MAX DYNAMIC IN MY HEAD are completely pulled from those 4 panels of them #talking - its like the only scene they have together AUGHHG😭😭 But it’s fine. i love making shit up. i also think they have a good deal in #common aside from being vash’s friends (understatement) and their presence in milly's life ueeee.... and when milly BAWLED #hearing that news *explodes explodes explodes*.... anyway... this set is about wolfwood but it doesn't have to be ofc... theyre just huggin #and the 3 of them will have many more brighter hugs to share in the future #ruporas art

[astaerion]

GOOD OMENS 2.01 • "Chapter 1: The Arrival"

#good omens #good omens spoilers #goodomensedit #tvedit #userelio #usereena #userbaz #useralison #userisaiah #userabs #usermadita #useraurore #usergiu #usersanshou #userfinches #userhallie #usersmia #* #crowley pays so much attention to everything aziraphale is and does!!! and that doesn't make me feel insane or anything

[wondercircuit]

2020 -> 2023 | Drive to Survive S3 -> S6

"My commitment is what makes me a good driver. I'm willing to go above and beyond to tick every box."

#lance stroll #f1 #*mine #gif: misc #the difference in production cams between seasons #found out i personally feel iffy giffing parts that specifically give focus on his physical pain cos it's like: #man i don't feel good it doesn't make me feel good ofc #so this gifset instead

[uncanny-tranny]

If somebody in your life offers to knit or crochet or, really, create anything for you, please be an active participant in the creation of the piece they are making. I adore making and gifting things, but nothing bums me out quicker than a person who passively just goes "okay," to my ideas about what I'm making them - it can send the message that they won't like it, or that they don't care, even if they're happy about my offering. The back-and-forth feedback is a great way to make sure that you are being gifted something that was truly worth the time, effort, expertise, and money that will inevitably go into the gift!

I know it's really hard to be an active participant, believe me, I'm an anxious ball of horror, but it will only do good for both parties to interact in this situation. It is a big deal to be offered a hand-crafted gift, but it's also something we want you to love and use, and that can only happen if you tell us what would make you fall in love with what we create.

#advice #relationships #art #fiber art #knitting #crochet #i always try to remember that some people's responses to something big is to clam up and become more passive... #..i just want to remind you that you aren't in danger of Ruining Everything by suggesting things or asking questions or saying what YOU wan #like i asked my dad specifically how he would feel if i made him items SPECIFICALLY so i could gauge if he would like them for instance #i don't just want to create something i want the recipient to actually LIKE it #which is why i typically (not always) ask how somebody would feel about me giving them a specific gift #i know some people genuinely don't care in the sense that they would appreciate ANYTHING but sometimes that doesn't always translate i gues #im crocheting a set of coasters for my dad and i really hope hell truly like them because i'm not sure based on how he responded to my ideas #it makes me so happy to gift things but it's with the caveat that the recipient will think it is An Amazing Gift That Is SO Good And Useful

[sysig]

“It could be that the loss of her children drove the Queen deeper into her darker desires...but, I don’t believe she was fighting against them that hard before that particular tragedy. No monster does.” (Patreon)

Bonus:

Hmm, wonder what he could cover those holes with :3c

#Doodles #Handplates #UT #Fellplates #UkaGaster's answers about Toriel really interest me :3c #As evidenced by the quote caption lol - but his other ones are very interesting too! Since it sounds like she's still around! #Poor classic Handplates!Gaster believed Tori dead for such a long time while she was at the Ruins #Meanwhile Fellplates!Gaster is just like ''? I saw the Queen last week she threw me into the pricker bushes? -.ò'' lol #But anyhow lol ♪ The implications that they're still in each other's vicinity really makes me curious about their relationship! #And how Toriel might react to knowing that someone - someone other than her - is having So Much Success on one of her sore spots #Not just of having children but of the constant reminders of Gaster's success where she has to live every day with a heavy heart for her own #Being cruel to him over it - well that's just par for the course isn't it ♪ #He mentions that she's much more of an emotional sadist - insulting him and then making it Very clear that she does Not approve of the holes #''They're ugly and you should feel ashamed for drawing so much attention to something so unsightly'' #I do think that her knowing that he's so intent on being kind and merciful and then twisting the knife on how much he's hurting her- #Making him feel guilty for daring to even attempt the betterment of all - for giving pieces of himself away and try to be a good person #''If anyone will break my spirit it will be her'' :) #Although that's all assuming that Toriel even knows about the brothers! :0 When I thought about it later it'd make more sense if she doesn't #It was still too good to not do something with the idea hehe - but imagine her betrayal if/when she found out tho she'd kill him on the spot #Gosh I haven't drawn Tori in foreeeeever I can't even remember the last time #Doing a/nother study on her would probably be fun haha she's rather plain how I draw her currently #I wonder if her Fellplates version would also wear reading glasses hehe #And the bonus :3c Where are the plates featured in Fellplates? Surely it's not just called that as a reference right ♪ Hehehe

[mysillyside]

The way I completely lose all interest in Lawlight as a ship if Light isn't Kira. And frankly, I feel like L would agree with me on this one. I don't think he'd gaf abt Light in the slightest if Light wasn't Mr. Serial Killer.

#Lawlight only works if Light is Kira bc otherwise light is just some rly smart pretentious teenager. #Like you're telling me L a 24 y/o self made multi-millionaire and the world's greatest detective (top 3 if you count the aliases)- #would care in the slightest abt mr “i got a perfect score on my college entrance exam”. Be fr!! #Idk the ship loses everything that makes it fun and appealing to me if you remove Kira from the mix #Ik ppl do “Light isn't Kira” AUs to make the ship more wholesome but i'd argue it just becomes problematic in a diff way. #L is not only way older but also extremely rich and successful. If Light is innocent but still a suspect- L also has immense power over him #Ig i don't see the point of trying to make Lawlight wholesome. It's still problematic but without the goofy homoerotic enemyship. #Light being Kira not only makes them equals but gives them spice! #However I DO get the appeal of “Light isn't Kira” AUs where Light is still a fake asshole who's performatively nice but hides his real feel #But removing his misogynistic swag/superiority complex/his bitchy internal monologues to make him normal? No... #Imo even if he isn't Kira he'd still be a weirdo. The only Yotsuba!Light is so normal/nice is bc he's trying to prove to everyone- #but most importantly himself- that he's a good person incapable of being Kira. He's trying to be the best version of himself. #Pre-Death Note Light for example is never as outstanding and good as Yotsuba!Light for this reason. Yotsuba!Light is the exception. #Like the Death Note doesn't make you pretentious or hate women that was all Light Yagami. #this is such a random rant sorry guys XD again more power to ppl who enjoy this AU or normalguy!Light but I don't get it personally 😔 #death note #light yagami #l lawliet #lawlight #💬 katposts #🤪 sillygoofy

[bitchthefuck1]

The thing about Francesca is that it isn't just saying "loving you is worth any punishment," it's saying "a punishment that keeps me with you is no punishment at all." It's not that you can brave a hurricane if it's the cost of loving someone, it's that standing in a hurricane for eternity with the person you love is still an eternity with the person you love, and how could you be happy with anything else?

#it makes me so!!! bc like as much as the first idea is lovely its also very familiar. like 'love is worth any cost' is something you see a #lot in art and that doesn't make it bad obviously but this is just such an interesting way of looking about it esp in context of this being #the most explicitly about the inferno. lovers spend an eternity tossed around in a storm clinging to each other for how they let their #passions control them and hes not just saying that he'd endure that for love hes saying that holding the person you love forever isn't in #any way a punishment and is actually exactly what lovers would want #i feel like im just repeating myself but its so good!!!! #hozier #francesca #unreal unearth

[inkly-heart]

.

#Thank you for all the messages<33 #and I apologize for making some of you worried #My thoughts been rolling in negative side again #especially when it's about art #I've been feeling a lot that my art isn't good enough and that I haven't worked enough #and it is worrying me because doing art is my job and I don't want to fail #but no matter what I try nothing what I have done or drawn doesn't feel it's good #That's why I feel that I failed everyone who supports me #but I'm trying my best to fix this

[onehundredfallenpetals]

We could dance the tears away, Emancipate ourselves, We'll cry later or cry now, But baby heartbreak feels so good

#persona 5 #persona 5 royal #shuake #amamiya ren #akeshu #persona 5 protagonist #akechi goro #goro akechi #my art #artists on tumblr #I have had this art idea for so long and then fob brought out this song giving me a caption for it <3 #song is Heartbreak Feels So Good for anyone who doesn't know it btw #Took ages for me to decide I would actually be able to do it justice and start on this and I enjoyed making it so much #I need more angst art ideas if anyone has any lol

[kendallsroyco]

I am simply obsessed with Charlie's delivery of this monologue. His understated acting at its best

#charlie cox #daredevil #matt murdock #it's less about the content of the monologue and more about charlie's delivery that makes this my top 3 fave scenes in dd s3 #also just a great example of how charlie didn't/doesn't need to shout or scream just to give a good performance #to me it feels like a lot of others use being loud and shouting dialogue as a crutch 😅 #also they gave matt the least amount of monologues/scenery chewing scenes like they gave fisk/frank/karen yet charlie still killed it 😌 #he's just so good at understated acting

[fisheito]

at last....yakumo with CHIKEN

#i have finally achieved Goal. i drew yakumo with a happy chickcen #legitimately there were several moments of me redrawing yakumo's eyes and yelling #nO! THEY'RE NOT UWU ENOUGH (makes the irises bigger) WAIT . TOO UWU (makes irises more oblong) #WAIT!! NOT MONSTROUS ENOUGH (narrows the pupils) SHOULD NOT HAVE MORE EYELINER THAN FOXY GRANDPA (shrinks the lashes) #did u know that chickens like to sleep on tall things? the higher they are the safer they feel? (according to my cursory internet search) #so i imagine when yakumo finally grew taller than the chickens' roosting spots #some of them started just napping on yakumo any time he came to clean the coop #and he'd be so scared of waking them up that he'd try to do his chores in the tiniest movements ever #several hours later grandma checks in on him bc hmmm! he's taking longer than usual! #sees him covered in birds+bird poop and he's aaaallllmost done cleaning with his restrained broom sweeps #(birds don't stop pooping just cuz they're sleeping u see. how productive) #that's a cue for grandparents to move the roosts higher . bc yakumo doesn't have the heart to shoo the birds off him #he needs to get things done! becoming impromptu bird bed for 3 hours a day is not sustainable! #it's all for the good of chiken anyway. happy chicken happy life #yakumo

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Jin Ling: Master Sleuth

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #jin ling #When you're so good at acting gay that you manage to fool even *this* fruity kid #Jin Ling's internalized homophobia once again saves the day #What a world we live in. #Jin Ling really said “Sorry my uncle's gaydar is so bad. Go out and frolic in the forest or whatever.” #Sure MXY's reputation helps out *and* the fact wwx was playing into that reputation #but at this point wwx has not caught feelings. This might imply that JL might actually have a good gaydar #The power is stored in his antenna. It's actually magnetized and repelled by magnetic forces similar to its own. #I ended up cutting it from the script but I really love the convo that follows this moment. #the 'two phrases' scene means so much to me. Its about realizing that there are times you *need* to put your pride aside #It doesn't matter if you feel its 'cringe' or makes you look bad. You can't connect with others up high on your self-made pedestal #I could go on but I'll leave it there for now B*)

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

I said I wasn't going to get started on the topic of Aveline ruining Carver's chances with the guard but I lied okay, it's Carver Hawke defense hours.

Here's the thing; it doesn't matter if you believe Carver was or wasn't fit for the guard. That's a different debate that I'll get to. What matters is Aveline's in no position to tell the guard not to accept his application. Why does she think that's her right to judge whether or not he's fit?

Carver should've had the chance to prove himself one way or another. If it turns out he's not a good fit, then let him fail. Let him learn from it.

"Oh but failure could mean lost lives-"

Aveline doesn't get to talk shit about failure and the people. Plenty have died on her watch yet she still believes she's a good guard and Guard-Captain.

"maybe Aveline's protecting him, Carver could die while on patrol-"

Carver could die working in the Bone Pit, or serving as a templar, or when he's running around with Hawke. Carver could trip and fall down a set of stairs and die. In fact, he can die in the Deep Roads, somewhere he wouldn't have to go if the Hawke's weren't desperate.

Either Carver fails as a guard, or more likely, he succeeds and proves himself worthy of it.

But let's be real, Carver probably kept getting rejected due to being a Fereldan with a past of smuggling/mercenary work and Aveline only reaffirmed the decision, either because they asked her what she thought or she stuck her nose in unprompted.

But what irritates me is that she admits to telling them not to accept his application, and then has the balls to call Carver too proud to take up a trade or find another line of work.

Carver tells her, "And who would take on a Fereldan apprentice? Maybe in another year I could work my way up to pissboy." He has a good point here. Aside from the guard, the only other place Carver could work and use his skillset is with the Templars. Or go back to mercenary/smuggling work.

And Aveline doesn't even have a real answer for him. No suggestions, no encouragement, nothing. Just "Fine, let's crawl down some holes. Good bloody luck for your sake."

Also, if you do the Mark of the Assassin DLC in Act 1-

Aveline: You should see if any of the noblemen are looking for new men-at-arms. Carver: Are you trying to get rid of me? Aveline: It's a role with some autonomy. A good fit with your training and... tendencies. Carver: After serving King Cailan? You want me to suffer some poncy git who needs two servants to wipe his own ass? I'll find my own way, thanks. Aveline: I wish you would.

You wish he would?? Aveline, he was trying to find his way into the guard, a position he'd make a good fit for, and you helped deny him of it because YOU didn't think he would be good enough, I just-

If I haven't made it clear yet, I firmly believe that Carver would've made a great guard. He wants to help people, to be a protector. He's loyal, and despite what Aveline claims, he can follow orders and take his duty seriously. We see him do incredibly well with the Grey Wardens, after all. If he were a guard, he wouldn't have to go down into the Deep Roads with Hawke, and I think he would've been okay with that! He's so hurt and bitter when you leave him behind because that effectively tells him, "I don't need you." Carver's spent the whole first act telling you he wants to go on the expedition aka that he wants to be needed.

But if he were a guard, he would be needed elsewhere. He'd be in training as a recruit. He'd look after Leandra while you go. He wouldn't be backed into a corner with no income and only the templars left as his chance at forging his own path and providing for his family.

He doesn't get that opportunity, though.

By the way, if he becomes a warden, you can get this banter:

Aveline: I'm glad you found a place with the Wardens. Carver: Well, it's not the city guard, but it'll do. Aveline: Carver... it wasn't the place for you. Carver: No, it's all right. It is. It cost a lot, but I get it. I really was a bit of a tit those days, wasn't I? Aveline: Well...

This banter makes me want to scream.

Aveline's just... she's so insistent that she's right. She's someone who will double down rather than entertain the idea that she's wrong and it's not just with Carver and the guard, it's with everything. The "my beef with Aveline" list gets longer and longer every time I replay da2, I swear.

Say what you will about Carver, whether you think he would've been a good fit or if Aveline's right and it wasn't for him, he was denied a chance and it cost him so much in the end. He either dies, or he joins the templars where he deals with Chantry's bullshit trying to brainwash him with "mages aren't people" and "magic is a cancer in this world", or he's infected with the blight and becomes a Grey Warden, forced to serve the rest of his life fighting darkspawn, tormented by voices and nightmares.

I will never not be bitter about this.

#dragon age 2 #da2 #dragon age #carver hawke #aveline vallen #aveline critical #oh and also forever bitter that hawke doesn't have the option to talk to aveline about this #because listen my hawke would be on this #carver would be annoyed and all 'i don't need your help >:[' but that's not gonna stop ed from turning on Big Brother Mode #this is just one of many reasons i can't do the friendship path with aveline #i hate the thought of doing rivalries for all my other companions but i feel like aveline's rivalry route is the only chance to shake her #of her unwarranted over confidence and make her realize that she's not this lawful good 'i stand for all of us' guard captain #she still stands with me in the end but at that point i wouldn't be surprised if she was just doing to because she still feels she owes ed #for getting her outta fereldan and into kirkwall rather than because we're loyal best friends y'know? #she's certainly not doing it for the mage rights #but anyway i never miss an opportunity to defend carver #that's my baby brother and i love him

[genericpuff]

vent post

#and before anyone who hates my shit says “yeah because you ARE a loser way to have self awareness for once” #i promise you this would be me with or without the LO fandom LMAO #anxiety is a hell of a thing #and as much as i internally guilt myself into thinking it would be better if i just shut up and hid away forever #i also know that's the trauma speaking because the adults around me always told me to shut up #and even as an adult i still encounter people who talk over me and make me feel like i'm not allowed to be outspoken #but the pen is mightier than the sword and all those years i've spent being spoken over i've been honing my penmanship #i have fun talking about the things i talk about and i don't have any less right than anyone else to do it #i am cringe and i am free #self post #vent post #altho on another note i do wanna make time this week to go find new series to read #too many of my favorites have turned to shit and it's taken its toll #i KNOW there are better comics out there that are genuinely well made #i already have a few that i'm reading that i love but i need to balance out the good with the bad more lol #i just need to take the time to go find good stuff instead of pouring so much of my attention into the bullshit that doesn't deserve my tim #i think both things can be true #i can have a lot of fun dissecting and writing about series i don't like #while also nourishing myself with good works that restore my faith in this medium #“perfectly balanced as all things should be”

[littlecrittereli]

Okay I gotta say your art + story have gotten my fanfic engines a churning and now I'm picturing AU with the bros starting out in the wildlife game but with Martin as an 18-19 year old and Chris as this 14 year old and it's more "panicked older brother trying to keep his baby bro safe" while they encounter poachers/dangers.

OKOK HEAR ME OUT....

Martin has legal guardianship over Chris (uhh parents gotta die for this i am so sorry mom and dad kratt but it's for the fanfiction so please forgive me) Which is why a 14 year old is able to join their research team. Martin is technically "homeschooling" him, (i mean technically he's learning on creature adventures so...)

Martin was offered a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to join the Tortuga research program and Chris didn't want to be the reason that Martin held back on his dreams. So, Chris was basically like take me with you, I'll be good and stay out of trouble I promise. So basically Martin is trying to do his job while simultaneously juggling the responsibility of raising Chris. And the rest of the team helps out as well so they all become a little family and go on these adventures.

The rest of the team would step into older sibling roles as well: Aviva would teach Chris about programming and engineering, Koki would show him how the Tortuga runs and how to make small tune-ups, and Jimmy would teach him how to bake and play video games with him. JUST IMAGINE THE POSSIBILITIES

I don't think Aviva would make a CPS for him, Martin would lose his mind if she did. Chris was already a handful, he does NOT need to be running around as a gecko. Maybe she could make a less extreme version of the suit for him? Like a partial creature power suit, where it can give him traits of animals. Instead of turning into the whole leopard, it just gives him leopard claw gloves and a tail for balance. So a little kiddy version of the CPS. IDk it's just an idea.

#wild kratts #chris kratt #martin kratt #asks #wild kratts au #wild kratts fanfiction #I feel like there could be some emotional issues involved with the lack of parents #Like Martin had to grow up too quick and sometimes resents his parents for it #and then Chris gets upset because he translates that into “Martin is mad that he has to raise me and IM the problem” #Meanwhile Martin just wishes Chris had their parents because Martin doesn't think he's doing a good job of raising Chris #Chris probably barely remembers them and thinks Martin is doing a great job #And Martin ofc is like barely an adult so he lets Chris eat icecream for breakfast sometimes and explore the wilderness with him #but hes doing his best so its okay #now if you don't make this fanfiction Im going to find you. #IM SERIOUS BECAUSE NOW IM INVESTED AND IF YOU DONT DO IT I WILL #WK Guardianship AU