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lowkeyremi · 1 year

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Haikyuu men as fathers pt 3.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 4

Ft. Sakusa, Iwaizumi, Kageyama, and Osamu.

The age range of the kids will differ for each character but it’s from babies up til like 17 or 18 (also sometimes I model the parenting off of the way my parents were w me n my little sibs lol)

CW: Indication of pregnancy, relationships, marriage, certain styles of parenting,

Enjoy lovelies <33

………………..

Sakusa Kiyoomi:

The panic on his face is pure gold. “Babe… Babe she’s drooling on me!” You whip out your phone so fast. “Smile for the camera, Kiyo!”

He’s pouting, but you don’t really care. Not after you told him to grab her bib because she might drool. He insisted that ‘my little girl won’t drool on me.’ And now here he is panicking about it.

It’s not that he minded her saliva… it’s that he’s in uniform because he wanted to hold Kokomi before heading to work.

Your nine month old daughter is clapping her hands at her dad. You’re sure she finds this whole ordeal hilarious just like you do.

“Stop recording me and get the bib. It’s gonna get on my uniform.” He says with his eyebrows furrowed. “What happened to ‘oh she won’t drool on me’ I thought you didn’t need the bib.” You mock your boyfriend of three years.

He frowns and sets Kokomi onto the floor. “Go crawl to mommy, yeah?” She immediately starts crying and you knew this would happen. Your baby is most definitely a daddy’s girl.

“Kiyoomi, pick her back up. She wants her daddy.” He glares at your statement because you’re still mocking him. “This is not funny.” He states. Just as you were about to make a comeback Kokomi took the both of you by surprise.

She was crying and crawling over to Kiyoomi, “Da- DAA!” Both your eyes widen at the realization that’s she’s saying ‘da da.’ You open up your phone and press record. “Kiyo! Make her say it again.”

“I can’t just magically make her say it.” He says sarcastically and you roll your eyes. “That’s not what I mean! Start walking away I’m sure she’ll say it again.” Kiyoomi walks very slowly so she has time to catch up by crawling and sure enough she says it again, “DA DA.”

You stop the recording and clap your hands. “Good job, princess! That is da da!” Kiyoomi picks her up and wipes her tears with his hand.

“Don’t cry little one, da da’s right here.” He assures her and she claps again.

And for the next couple of weeks all Kiyoomi heard was “da da.”

Sure you were bummed she didn’t say “mama” first, but guess what? You aren’t the one who has to go help her when Kiyoomi’s around because all your little princess wants is her “da da”

He’s so sensitive abt her, for example he cries on her first birthday because “she’s growing so fast”

He teases you for being jealous of your daughter, but you can’t help it! She’s getting all his attention :( (he tends to you later <3)

He seems like the type of dad to sign his kid up for a bunch of sports/activities so he can try to find something for her to become good at

He has tea parties with her, she loves when you play the charming prince and kiyoomi plays the pretty princess 😂

OMG whenever she has nightmares he’ll follow her back to her room and sleep in her bed w her (you keep telling him he’s gonna break it lmfao)

Doesn’t let her date for a LONGGGGG time

He spoils her absolutely rotten

He cried tears of joy when he saw his little girl walking down the aisle being the cutest little flower girl at your guys’ wedding

SUCH A SOFT DAD, she’ll ask for something and you’ll give him that look so he’s like “N-no.” And she gives him those eyes and he’s like “baby, how I can say no to those eyes?!”

Iwaizumi Hajime:

“HIGHER DADDY, HIGHER!” Your seven year old daughter screams as Iwaizumi launches her into the air and catches her.

“Sato has to have his turn, pumpkin.” He sets his little girl down and comes over to you with grabby hands for his son.

“He’s one Haji, that might scare him.” You reason. He takes him anyway and you shake your head.

He throws Sato up into the air, it’s not too high. He catches the chubby little baby and you wait for the crying. It never comes though, because you hear your little boy giggle.

”What’d I tell you, sweetheart?” His face is smug because he was right.

“Daddy lift me up too! Mommy says you’re very strong!” She too has grabby hands. “Oh really?” He says smirking. The brunette lifts up his daughter so he’s holding both children in his arms.

You’re staring, hard. You and Iwaizumi have created a beautiful little family that’s bound to grow bigger at your surprise.

“Take a picture, Mommy. It’ll last longer.” His tone is laced with smugness. “Yeah yeah.” You roll your eyes. Even though his statement was meant as a joke you pull out your phone and take a picture anyway.

As he’s about to set them down you stop him, “wait we gotta get one more with me in it!” You say walking over to them to take a selfie.

“We don’t want our other little one to feel left out, now do we?” It takes him a second to realize what you said. It was too funny not to document his response so you snap pics of his surprised face.

“You’re pregnant?!” He says in shock. “Yeah, thanks to somebody.” Your daughter is next to speak.

“It’s because of the baby fairy, right?!” She asks excitedly.

Iwaizumi laughs, “yeah, the baby fairy is bringing you another little sibling.” Iwaizumi explains with a big smile on his face. You want to flip him off but not in front of the kids.

He’ll take his little girl to the gym (and his son when he gets older) and use her to do his work outs (She’ll be on his back while he’s doing push ups, “five more, Daddy!”)

teaches his children the importance of health

i can see him empowering his daughter and telling her if someone hits her then she has permission to hit back

sometimes he misses his children’s events but he’ll make up for it with something fun

He seems like the type to want a lot of kids (enough to have his own little volleyball team lmao)

He’s always telling them to not be like their uncle oikawa

ALWAYS taking pics of the little cuties

Idk what it is abt him but Sato it his only boy, something abt him just makes me think he’d have almost all girls 😂

Invested in a suv so he can drive the kiddos to school

such a fucking dad boss, he goes to all the parent teacher conferences, etc etc.

I’m 1 mil percent sure he makes his kids wearing matching pjs and they love it at first but they hate it when they get older lmao

he’s the strict but nice dad (pretty chill until one of the kids fuck up or if he isn’t a fan of something)

Not only does he get on his kids for eating junk food he nags you about it too

has all his kids stuffies names’ memorized “daddy! Popcorn has a boo boo!”

he’s big on family outdoor trips (you suggested glamping and he told you that’s such an oikawa idea and your fam is gonna do camping the right way)

Hesitant on letting his kids use technology, he didn’t want them to become fully dependent on tech (they aren’t 🫶🏾)

Kageyama Tobio:

“That’s my boy. When you’re setting you don’t want to slap the ball up with your palm, it’s more like slightly tapping it with your fingertips, uhhh does that make since?” Kageyama tries to explain to his twelve year old.

“I think I get it?” Kaito says in a questioning tone. Kageyama scratches his head. “I wonder when your mom will get home with the girls.” Kageyama thinks aloud.

Kaito shrugs and returns to practice setting the ball. He’s done it a few times and Kageyama praises everyone of his sets, even if some of them are really crappy.

“Dad, you don’t need to praise the bad ones. It doesn’t make me feel better. If you praise my trashy work then I’ll settle for being trashy.” Kaito explains to his father. Kageyama puts his hands on his hips, his face turns into a smirk.

“If you want real practice don’t get upset when I criticize every little thing. You know I’m nit picky when it comes to volleyball.” With that he removes his hands from his hips. His steps were even and he asks his son for the ball.

“Mom says you’re bitchy about volleyball. She says it’s gotten better though.” Kaito says, meaning little harm. He knew that would get Kageyama riled up.

“Huh? You’re joking, right?!” Kageyama’s squeezing the volleyball and Kaito is suppressing a laugh.

“Well she says that’s what uncle shoyo says and she agrees with him.” Kageyama mumbles something about you and Hinata. Kaito is sure it’s something along the lines of, ��I’ll show them a true bitch.’

Kaito gets some good practice in, mainly because his dad is somewhat upset.

You’re finally home with your twin daughters who are two. You find your husband and eldest in the backyard together playing volleyball.

“Kaito, you’ll be as good as your dad one day!” You praise seeing the results of Kageyama’s practice with him.

“What’s this talk about me being bitchy when playing volleyball?” Kageyama confronts and your eyes immediately land on your son.

“Kaito! You cannot keep a secret for the life of you, huh?” You say with a chuckle.

“I get it from you, Mom.” He says seriously.

“Babe, it’s nothin serious. Just a small observation of Shoyo. It’s not supposed to be in a mean way.” You try to coax him. He isn’t having it though.

He starts fussing so you tell Kaito to get his sisters and take them to go play with toys.

As soon as they’re out of sight you walk up to your husband and give him a warm, loving kiss.

“Tobio, you are not taking this to heart right now,” a small chuckle leaves your lips. “As your wife I make comments about you all the time cuz you know as well as I do that I mean it in a loving way. I’m still not over you calling me a swelling balloon when I was pregnant!” You rant, the ending part of your rant earns a snort from your husband.

“You’re my swelling balloon.” For some reason that almost sounded sexy but you aren’t going to let it slide. You give him a playful punch.

“Can you guys quit being saps?” Kaito yells from the door.

“It’s your night to help potty train.” You say with a wink and Kageyama groans.

If he sees his child showing any interest in volleyball he’ll do his best to make his kid a next gen star

he despises that you make the family match for holidays and you send the photos out to family

He lets his kids run around butt naked when they’re little (until you scold him)

he wouldn’t see the problem in letting the twins have ice cream for breakfast

he learned how to do hair so he can braid his little girls’ hair 🥺

he and his son argue abt the dumbest things (got that Kageyama and hinata energy)

Also the competitive dad who wants his kids to be better than everyone else’s kids

he will literally bully any little kid to the point where they cry if they mess w his kids

I don’t think he’d freak out when his daughters start their period he’s just like “okay. I think ur mom has pads somewhere 🧍🏻”

Miya Osamu:

“Pa! Come quick!” 6 and a half year old Haruki yells from the bathroom. When Osamu hears him he comes running up the stairs and into the bathroom.

“The heck ya doing in here? Yer ma’s gonna tear ya a new one!” Osamu examines the mess his son has made with finger paint. “I was trying something, Pa. Then my tooth came out cuz I was wigglin’ it!”

It isn’t until his son says that sentence that he notices there’s a small empty space in his mouth where his little tooth should be. “Huh? This yer first tooth?” Osamu asks.

“Pa, I been talking about this darn tooth for weeks!” His son responds with sass.

“well ‘cuse me for forgettin’ little man.” Osamu says with a roll of his eyes. This boy has got your attitude big time.

“You stay right here, ima go get ya some warm salt water. Don’t ya move.” Osamu warns as he goes to fetch some water for his son.

“So I can’t even breathe?” He asks sarcastically.

“Quit bein’ a lil smart aleck.” Osamu demands with a little bit more strictness in his tone. He’s usually pretty laid back with his son but sometimes Haruki hears the way his Uncle ‘Tsumu talks to his dad and he thinks he can talk that way.

Osamu runs down the stairs to the kitchen and scrambles around for a cup. He finds the salt and sprinkles some in. He puts the cup in the microwave for about a minute and it feels like the longest minute of his life.

“Hurry, Pa! The blood’s gettin’ everywhere!” Haruki yells out of worry.

Osamu retrieves the cup from the microwave and stampedes up the stairs to the bathroom.

“Here, swish it. All of it.” He commands.

“Pa I don’t wanna swish all this salt water it won’t taste good.” He explains to his pa.

“Do ya want the blood to go away or nah?” Osamu asks and Haruki shakes his head yes.

Your mini me began to swish the water as Osamu cleaned up the bathroom.

“Yer lucky I saved ya. Shoulda told yer ma ‘bout the mess you made.” Osamu snorts.

“Do ya think my baby sister will look like you or ma?” Haruki asks instead of thanking his father for cleaning his mess.

“I reckon she’ll get my beautiful eyes that drew yer ma to me n my thick brows.” Osamu says proudly puffing his chest.

“‘s not the only thing ma calls thick.” Haruki mutters which makes Osamu look down to him.

“Whaddya mean?” He asks his eyebrows scrunching up.

“She always talks to Uncle Rin ‘bout how thick ur butt is but she says it with two c’s at the end instead of T-H-I-C-K. What does the one with two c’s mean, Pa?” Haruki asks out of pure curiosity.

Osamu’s face goes red and he covers his face.

“It don’t mean nothin’ at all son. Don’t listen to what yer ma says that’s just her talking crazy.” Your husband explains.

“So when she tells me to go to bed-” Osamu cuts him off.

“I outta pop you for how smart yer acting.” Osamu says firmly.

“Sorry Pa, I’ll stop.” Haruki has a cheeky little smile on his face. He knows Osamu isn’t going to do anything. You handle all the discipline.

Osamu’s phone buzzes loudly in his pocket and he takes it out to answer it.

Osamu’s face goes still and then his eyes about pop out his head. “Slow down honey one word atta time.” Haruki hears you yell over the phone.

“We’re on our way right now.” Osamu says in quickly.

“Let’s go pack yer bag Haruki, yer staying with Uncle ‘Tsumu.” Haruki doesn’t move a muscle but then his dad gives him the look that says ‘do not test me right now’

“Is Ma okay?” Haruki asks his dad slightly worried.

“As okay as you can be goin’ into labor.” Osamu responds. For Haruki’ age he’s an advanced child but he’s picked up on the twins vulgar language and their accent. He knew what it meant when Osamu said you went into labor.

“My sister’s comin’?!” He asks excitedly.

“Mhm, now go pack yer bag. Ya need three shirts, three pairs of pants, some underwear and matching socks. Yer uncle will take ya to school. If I don’t come get you within the next three days just ask yer uncle to wash yer clothes. We’ll most likely see ya tomorrow but yer gonna stay with yer uncle to yer ma’s outta the hospital.”

Osamu explains all at once. “Okay Pa!”

let’s his kiddos get away with a lot more than they should

teaching them to cook was like his favorite thing to do

he lets you handle the punishments because Osamu is a soft dad

Whenever atsumu is over and you aren’t around he’s swearing like a sailor to his brother and his kids pick up on it 😭

100% a cuddler (Haruki acts like he hates it but he doesn’t)

idc what y’all say but he takes his daughter shopping like prom coming up? He’s there when she’s trying on dresses

no phones at the table enforcer (believes in quality family time)

he was relieved to not have twins like his brother did 😂

always teasing Haruki (for example he hates seeing u guys kiss so Osamu purposely kisses u in front of him just to upset him lmao)

the poor man tries his best w homework but geometry doesn’t make any sense “why are there shapes in math ya only really need to know how to add, subtract, multiply, n divide”

something just tells me he has a bird feeder and he enjoys drinking his coffee in the morning (little ones have hot chocolate) and watch the birds come and eat

#kageyama tobio #kageyama x reader #sakusa kiyoomi #sakusa x reader #iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi x reader #osamu x reader #miya osamu #miya osamu x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu dads #dad!haikyuu #haikyuu characters as dads #haikyuu!!#haikyuu

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gorgonwrites · 5 months

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wriothesley headcanons

NSFW below the cut! minors DNI. 18+

author's note: i'm BACK!!! and i am obsessed with a certain duke from genshin, good gawds. my best friend and i starting spitting ideas out about our fav genshin men, and i decided i wanna share these with you all. :) enjoy! <3

This man is covered in tattoos- he just tends to dress so they aren’t visible. He has a Cerberus piece that takes up his entire back, and he has lots of florals that cover his legs and arms and chest. That’s his secret little way of bringing some of the overworld down to him.

Wriothesley is SUPER outdoorsy. He doesn’t make it a habit to spend a lot of time away from the Fortress of Meropide, but when he does go up to the overworld he’s most likely trying to soak up as much sunshine and fresh air as he can.

He gets sunburned so easily, bless him. Even if he slathers sunscreen on, it's guaranteed he’ll come back to the Fortress burnt to a crisp. He never complains though. He took Sigewinne camping once, and his sunburn was so bad she was convinced he had sun poisoning when they got back home.

He loves taking cheesy photos where he’s “holding” or “leaning on” landmarks, and is always super smug about the pictures if they turn out exactly like he wanted.

Has a photic sneeze reflex. And on that note- the man’s sneezes are so fucking obnoxious. They echo throughout the Fortress when he sneezes in his office. He gets his feelings hurt if no one says ‘bless you’ though.

To show love, Wriothesley gives physical touch and gifts. He loves seeing small things throughout his long days that remind him of his partner, and he wants them to know he’s thinking of them constantly.

To receive love, he needs physical touch and words of affirmation. Trust is extremely hard for him, so having verbal reassurance is key to him relaxing and building trust with his partner.

Is literally just a little baby. The man would melt into being cuddled after a long, hard day.

nsfw below<3

This man has a SERIOUS praise kink. He needs to know when he’s doing well and the reassurance drives him crazy. He’s also quick to give praise to his partners- the intimacy makes him melt. Will lose his mind if someone calls him a good boy.

He also has a very mild degradation kink- he loves to tease his partners or slightly embarrass them. He can’t help that he’s fucking them stupid!

T I T T Y MAN!!!

Pierced nips because he likes the look of them.

Obsessed with his partners riding his face. He just wants to be a tool for their pleasure, and in his opinion that's the perfect way to let them use him how they want.

He loves bondage, but more specifically, he loves shibari. He thinks it's beautiful, and the time spent tying his partners up in intricate positions feels incredibly intimate to him.

He also has a bit of a sadistic streak- he loooooves predicament bondage too.

Mild voyeur and exhibitionist kink, he’s a bit jealous at times though so he tends to lean more into exhibitionism.

He LOVES edging. Giving and receiving- the delayed gratification of it all makes him feral. If he’s edging his partner, he wants to see tears and hear begging before he finally gives in and lets them come. If he’s on the receiving end, he tries to hold out as long as humanly possible because he gets so lost in the pleasure. He’s usually crying out by the end, though.

Generally, such a soft and tender lover. He’s very attentive and adapts well. He would most likely try anything at least once, and would say if he didn’t like something in particular. He expects the same from his partners.

#wriothesley #genshin headcanons #wriothesley headcanons #wriothesley x reader #wriothesley smut #genshin smut #genshin imagines #i am delusional and that is ok friends #being delulu is the solulu

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staytinyville · 7 months

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OUTLAW (8)

ATEEZ ot8 x Reader

Series Masterlist

Warnings: None (Unless you wanna count Wooyoung. He's spicy in this story)

The time came around again when you had to go out and stock up on groceries for the home. Your mother had been the one to ask you seeing as you had more free time on your hands with Yeosang and Seonghwa taking over some of the chores that only you and your parents were able to tend to. So now it was that time in the week where she would give you a list to go out to the weekend market to get things for the family.

“Would you like someone to accompany you?” Your sister had asked you before you left the lobby.

“No.” You shook your head. “I should be fine.” You gave her smile to calm her a bit.

You knew by the face she pulled she sometimes worried about the gangs that the men at the bar would bring up. While it was the middle of the day and it was rare for outlaws to come in, she was still your sister. However for you, you knew you had nothing to worry about when it came to this so-called gang.

“I'll accompany you.” A male’s voice rang out. Jongho was buttoning up his vest, the metal deputy star on his chest on display as he walked closer. “I was heading out anyways.”

“Thank you, Jongho.” You told him with a smile, eyes almost closing from how wide your lips stretched.

“Give me a moment to get my things.” He turned back around towards the hallway, moving out of sight.

“What are you doing?” Your sister’s question made you turn to her. She was looking at you with a scrunched up face, almost as if she was looking at a completely different person.

“What do you mean?” You asked.

“I thought dad told you to butter Yeosang up.” She proclaimed. “Also you have never talked to a man and suddenly you have three claiming to be your friend and wanting to take you out. What are you doing?” She repeated.

“Nothing.” You frowned. “I swear.”

She had raised her eyebrows, her face showing that she wasn’t one to be fooled by what you said. You knew she was suspicious already since the day she found you in the deputies room, but the way she was looking at you now made you feel icky.

“Don't look at me like that.” You shook your head.

“I don't want others to think things of you, (Y/N).” She sighed.

Your shoulders slumped when you realized what it was she was talking about. You knew what they said about the women who didn’t marry by a certain age or saw them with men all the time. They were often talked about by the other ladies, criticized for living the way they wanted. You never spoke to one of those kinds of women, but you oftentimes did wonder why it was they reached that point.

However, hearing it from your own sister that she was worried others would see you the same way meant that she was thinking it. It bothered you, but you knew she didn’t mean any harm by it.

“And if they do, that’s on them.” You shook your head. “My business is my business. I'm not roped down to anyone but myself.”

“Ready.” Jongho stopped the conversation, giving you sister a nod of his head.

You gave her a weak smile from over your shoulders, turning around to follow after the policeman. Like last time, he allowed you to walk out the door first, following in your steps at your side. Once more you took notice of the manners he had, moving you to the other side of the sidewalk. He took up the one where the carriages passed and the occasional vehicle.

If he noticed your stare on him on the way to the market he didn’t ask you about it. But after a bit you realized you were looking for too long so you decided to start up a conversation.

“I've noticed you and Yunho have been going out more.” You spoke to him. “How is Cromer?”

“It's a lot smaller than we're used to for sure.” He answered, keeping his eyes around his surroundings. “It has things that get us by though. Can't complain.” He shrugged.

“Obviously.” You snorted. “The townsfolk need to survive. It's still growing so maybe one day it'll be a big city like you enjoy.” You grinned up at him. “Maybe when you retire.”

“I'll consider it.” He tried to fight off the smile. “I don't know what I'll do the day I get old and can't move.”

“You guys will rob the rich with walking sticks.” You laughed out loud. This got him to chuckle as well, looking down to the ground to avoid your stare.

The bright metal of the deputy star on his vest caught your attention. It began to create questions in your head that you wanted to ask. But you knew better. They weren’t people who associated themselves with citizens. They weren’t going to answer questions you might have had. But that doesn’t stop you from trying. You always did have a mouth.

“I don't know if I'm allowed to ask but why are you doing this if you're a police officer? Won't you be tried for treason if you're caught?” You watched him shuffle his feet slowly, almost as though he wasn’t expecting your question.

You weren’t surprised though. He did give you a weird look when you asked if you were allowed to even ask him that kind of question. He knew you weren’t someone who didn’t speak their mind however he was quick to notice there was a lot that you kept from asking. He figured it was because you were too scared to ask, in your head they are criminals. After Seonghwa had explained they weren’t nasty criminals, maybe you started to open up.

He took a moment to think about his answer. The way he gazed at you made you internally shiver, as though he was sizing you up. You knew it was a personal question, but you wanted to take the chance. You saw how the four who were in close range to you seemed to let their guards down. They were relaxed when speaking with you. Maybe you had taken their friendliness as something akin to trust, and thinking it to yourself, you realized how stupid you sounded.

“There was a heist we did a while ago that caused us to separate.” Your eyebrows raised when Jongho began the story.”We had to lay low for a year before we got the chance to meet up again. In that time, me and Yunho were put together and we joined the force to keep tabs on the boys easier. We've been there since because you'd be surprised at how much easier it is to get by without people noticing you.”

There was a light feeling in your chest that made you smile. You never thought about how much it meant to speak to someone on a level that was closely related to friendship. Girls and boys alike all distanced themselves from you when you had hit adulthood. They didn’t really speak much other than what they wanted to.

When it came to your female friends they all thought differently to you and it would cause a rift between you all. With the men, they didn’t like that you were too independent so it caused them to find someone who would do what they wanted.

Learning about Jongho and Yunho really made you miss companionship. The trust people had in one another with things about their past or their future endeavors with one another. And judging by the story Jongho gave you the boys were all super close. It almost made you jealous.

“That actually sounds like a smart plan.” You nodded your head.

“I'm sure you can come up with some elaborate plans too.” Jongho grinned. “The way you think is different.”

You rolled your eyes, taking in a deep breath. “Yeah. I know.”

Jongho noticed how you seemed to drop your shoulders and looked off to the side. He bumped his shoulders with yours lightly. “I like it.”

You paused to look up at him, your face heating up. You had stopped at the entrance of the market, hand gripping tightly onto the bags your mother had given you.

“Wooyoung.” Jongho called over your shoulder. You turned around to see the bubbly man skipping his way over to the two of you. He had a bright grin on his face, eyes going over your form.

“Hello, Jongho!” He greeted, coming to stand next to you. From the side you were on, you noticed the mole he had under his eye which only served as a reminder that any blemish the boys had only made them look like heavens creations. You curled your lips, looking off to the side as you felt your face heat up.

Since when have you ever seen a man that good looking? What’s more, eight of them? Wow, you just now noticed how lonely you actually were.

“What brings you here?” Jongho furrowed his eyebrows. “Where are the others?”

“It's just me.” The man waved Jongho off. “Hongjoong sent me out to find some things for the camp. Besides, it's been a while since I've looked around. I wanna take in the sights.” He added with a grin.

“Sweetheart.” He licked his lips, giving you a raise of his eyebrows.

“Hi, Wooyoung.” You politely told him, soft eyes on him.

The look he got from you caused him to straighten his back, his grin widening. “How's work life going? Must be really nice to get to spend the day with the boys.”

“If that's what you think.” You laughed.

The three of you began your trek into the market, your eyes glancing over all the produce that was available. You noticed Wooyoung only looked over certain things, not picking them up. But then again, he didn’t have a basket for his items. You sighed, thinking to yourself that you would make them bags.

While looking over some vegetables, you felt a presence behind you. Just as you were about to turn around to ask the person to move back, you froze when you noticed Wooyoung had placed his head on your shoulder, his breath hitting the shell of your ear.

You shivered, but turned back to look at the produce. The man squinted his eyes, wrapping his arms around your waist to get closer. When he noticed you weren’t going to acknowledge him, he decided he would be the one to make himself known.

“Do I make you nervous?” You heard him whisper in your ear.

“Should you?” You asked quietly, only moving your eyes to look at him at your shoulder.

“Of course not.” He quickly pulled back, grinning. “I make most women nervous though.” He shrugged, feeling dejected about the new revelation of not having a woman swoon over him.

“She's not like most women.” Jongho smirked.

“So you all say.” He turned to you, moving some of your hair over your shoulder. “Come see me one day. I'd like to get a show.”

“A show of what?” You squint your eyes, jaw locking.

“Don't take his words to heart. It's just the way he talks.” Jongho told you.

“Like he's big game?” You asked, keeping an eye on Wooyoung who gave a teasing smile.

“You have no clue.” He smirked. “Wait 'till you meet Wooyoung from Aurora.”

“He's supposed to be better?” You tilted your head.

“He is insatiable.”

Series Masterlist

@thefrog3223 , @iarayara , @0rangemilk , @explorewithd , @bangtanxberm , @a1i33a , @loveforred

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recreationalfanfics · 1 year

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can i request buddha, Hercules, jack and Brunhilde with douma or kokushibou reader please ❤

So this is a Yandere request but here's a TWIST: The Kokushibo! Reader just being incredibly loyal to Brunhilde as they were with Muzan and seeing her as their new master.

Many human champions were summoned back from when they were in their prime...no one ever said that a demon couldn't be the prime for a human who was turned into one. Göll cowers next to her sister in fear as Brunhilde watches the man- no...the demon manifest. She would have chosen their brother, but the malice and anger they carried with them until their death would perhaps make them just a bit more hungrier to see a gods blood stain their blade and make it more likely for them to win. Once it fully manifests, it walks in front of Brunhilde, they look at Brunhilde before kneeling before her.

"I am at your command, My Lady."

Yandere! Brunhilde:

- You quickly become her right hand man...demon?? and her favorite out of all the other champions, while she loves Göll, it can be tiring to constantly hear her crying and cowering. With you, she felt calm. With you, she felt her head become clearer. She felt drawn to you, incredibly so.

- Brunhilde herself is a manipulative Yandere but considering you pledged your undying allegiance to her, it makes her obsession with you grow as well. The fact you also will do whatever she asks without question makes her heart flutter and reassure her that nothing will steal you away from her.

- You're also a warrior like her, you've seen battle and you've seen blood. You are aware of the sacrifices that must be maid and that each battle results in Brunhilde losing her sisters painfully, maybe when you were resurrected you started to feel a bit more than you did as a demon and you'd put a hand on her and comfort her.

- You do also keep her a bit more composed when she gets short tempered or sighted and assuring her that she still has you and she looks at you and her eyes soften.

- Right...she has you. You. You. You.

- When your fight happens, she preforms the Völundr with you, to ensure you don't get hurt and you're motivated to keep your Lady Brunhilde safe.

- You don't know the way you make her giggle when you say that stuff. When you call her YOUR Lady, she isn't used to getting such respect from God's so she never expected to get it from a demon. You're polite as you are strong.

- She hates it when other women or men come up to you, they think they can steal you away! So she stands there, looking very upset, and you tend to her immediately.

- You are not dumb, you may be aware of her Yandere tendencies and regardless of how you feel; you promised her your loyalty and that is what she will receive. She brought you back to life after all...a second chance to prove to humanity you're worth more than your brother.

- Also if you have multiple eyes, that is so chill with her tbh. Like, if you let her she will kiss you on each eyelid to show you just how much she loves you if you start to feel insecure but also, like, you sense there is a certain possessiveness in those kisses.

Yandere! Jack the Ripper:

- What a curious creature you are indeed. He saw Brunhilde introduce you and while most people were hesitant to work with a demon, he was more than pleased. Then he saw your color...

- What a noble color it is, truly, it dazzled him. Such strength and such nobility even if you were a creature forsaken by God and driven by bitter jealousy.

- Jack tries his best to speak with you, when you train or when you enjoy some tea to yourself. He's simply fascinated by you: by your appearance, to the anger and loathing you hold in your heart, to your composure.

- He simply admired you, was fascinated with you, obsessed with you. However, it appears that only Lady Brunhilde was your main concern. You weren't mindlessly loyal to her and he understands being grateful but you would die for her and it honestly irked Jack off a bit.

- She was willing to have her own friend killed for the sake of humanity and while Jack was fighting to save it as well, it bothered him how you could be the next peice on her chessboard she could sacrifice.

- He doesn't understand it, how could you be so loyal and trusting of someone like her...unless there was another reason...you didn't love her, did you? The answer was "no", you were simply obeying her, but he just can't help it but feel sick when he sees you standing next to her. Her whispering into your ear, most likely battle strategies and looking at her like she was the important thing in the world.

- Jack knows he can't exactly hurt you nor Brunhilde, plus with the current events fighting between themselves wouldn't exactly be a strategic advantage and only cost them everything.

- You're so stoic all the time, he's heard your backstory and he understands why, but if you soften up or become more expressive to Brunhilde then it just confirms his fears. If you're more tender and soft with him then he feels like crying tears of joy. Does this mean you see him as precious to your heart as he sees you?

- He feels like he understands you, better than anyone here. Both of you driven by your families to become the monsters you are. Both of you died tragically, alone, and as either traitor or heartless but both sharing the title of ruthless killers.

Yandere! Hercules:

- Okay so let's say he and Jack's battle ended in a draw, he confronts Brunhilde for using a serial killer to represent humanity and you just see some big man coming towards your Lady looking very hostile.

- You draw your sword and put it to his chest, narrowing your eyes and daring him to come any closer. It takes him a while to realize what you are and when he does, he glares at Brunhilde.

- "First a killer and now a demon?" He glares, his gaze hardening. You simply warn him to mind his tounge but Brunhilde assures you that Hercules will not harm her and you listen to her and bow your head in apology.

- Which he didn't expect. After all, demons are supposed to be heartless killers who preyed on humans, yet you seemed to be genuine with your apology and remained silent. Of course, that wasn't enough to change his mind about you and how he didn't think you'd deserve to represent humanity, but it was enough where he grew curious about you.

- His obsession with you grew over the next few interactions that you two have with each other. Yes you're appearance may be off putting to most but there was also something about you that Hercules could never seem to get off his mind. The way you didn't seem to look down on your fellow humans and followed them silently, the amount of respect you had towards the Gods and their abilities, not really hating them like how your fellow humans did.

- There have been times where you seem to show human emotions. Such as concern with Okita gets coerced into fighting that instigator of a God, Loki, and you help heal him with such care and precision. Hercules honestly is surprised to see an ounce of humanity within you.

- He loves Brunhilde like a sister, he truly does, but even he can't deny that she has her wicked schemes and while she seems to hold you in high regard, he worries about your safety. Perhaps he challenges you to a friendly fight, since he's seen your strength and Blood Demon Art at work, and he tries to convince you.

- Convince you to not be so loyal to Brunhilde, that you'd simply be just another sacrifice in her game of chess, and that she wouldn't really care about you. He gets increasingly frustrated in the fight because you're quite adamant on ignoring him and saying you're aware. This causes him to be a bit more brutal in his battle with you.

- He stops when he sees that he's injured you, regret and guilt for what he's done as he helps you up and promises it was an accident. Hercules will help you but seeing your hurt is horrible and he made his own fears come true, that the other God's would do something 10x as worse to you.

- I think he'd kidnap you after this, since you both are on completely different sides so he can't keep an eye on you unlike the other two. So he genuinely just wants to keep you safe and he will apologize but he won't let you leave. You don't understand how dangerous this battle is and Brunhilde could always put someone else in your place...just, anyone but you.

#SORRY I DIDN'T INCLUDE BUDDHA BUT I GOT OVERWHELMED WITH THE CHARACTERS.#record of ragnarok #record of ragnarok x reader #ror x reader #shuumatsu no valkyrie x reader #snv x reader #tw yandere #yandere brunhilde x reader #yandere jack the ripper x reader #yandere hercules x reader #ror brunhilde x reader #ror jack the ripper x reader #ror hercules x reader

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uyuforu · 5 months

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Even aftee lot of scandals, I see from jungkook chart, that he isn't a womanizer actually, do u analysis this too, that he needs deep emotional connection to sleep with someone, to evn date someone, so he isn't the person to sleep around casually, I wouldn't be surprised if he is evn a virgin tbh looking at his chart, what's ur take on this

Hi! So this is a very interesting point, and I wanna discuss it with you. But I won't make a specific placement analysis for this one, I'll just explain what I think while describing the placements he has in his chart that makes me think the way I do (I hope it makes sense lol).

-> So I feel like Jungkook tends to usually attract a lot of people who sexualize him. He is sexualized but so much. He attracts a lot of people physically, takes care of his body, and has that mysterious aura (Sun in 8H). People are just very attracted to him. He IS hot. But that makes him sexualized and many people tend to think he is a fuckboy/ womanizer, etc. This can be explained with his Lilith in Virgo (I read somewhere that women with this placement are sexualized like crazy by men, so could it be the same to JK? Not sure). To be honest, JK goes around a lot of placement in the 8H, which is represented by Scorpio. So the fact that many people are attracted to him sexually speaking does not surprise me at all.

-> Now, is JK a womanizer? No, not in my opinion. This opinion is purely based on JK's natal chart reading though lol. You see, I don't JK is a virgin, mostly because there is a lot of desire and horniness in this man lol, Scorpio mars native are well known to put fire in the bed, and they really love s3x. AND, he has an Aquarius degree in it (11°) which makes him want to experience things, he is curious and wants to know what he likes and what he doesn't like. And Lilith Virgo are very kinky, and dirty, yes lol. BUT. These people don't sleep with anyone. JK might not be a virgin, but at least he is not into sleeping around. First of all, his Scorpio mars makes him crave a connection with someone, these native don't sleep around because they need an emotional connection with someone. They are very intense, and won't just do it with someone they don't know, and without feelings. Then, his Virgo Lilith makes him more responsible for his actions. He is very strict with himself and wants to see himself clean from any flaws. So I guess it could add to the fact he cares a lot on his image, he is the type to never forgive himself for his mistakes. So, being mean to women, taking them as objects, just fucking around, JK would never forgive himself though that. Also, his mars is in the 10H, there is a certain responsibility on s3x to him. And, with my analysis on his sun, his placements there just make me feel like he doesn't let people have access to him easily. But people tend to be mistaken on that, because JK looks extremely good, takes care of himself, they just forget how introvert and shy he can be. He just knows how to charm people very easily.

-> Now, the thing I am a bit worried for, mostly for JK: there are some placements in his chart that makes me understand why these rumors could be going around. You see, JK has Libra Venus in his chart. These natives tend to romanticize relationships a lot, and even forget that we are supposed to fall in love with the people we are in a relationship with, not falling in love WITH love lol. These natives are often mistaken for being players, mostly because they are hopeless romantic, they are often realizing they don't love the person, but they enjoyed the idea to be in a relationship. So they tend to leave the ship lol. Some could cheat too, now I'm not saying JK is the type to cheat, but some people with this placement do. Also, his DC is in cancer with 7°, so it's a mix of cancer-libra. Very nurturing needs, he just needs a home. He is def not a womanizer, or a player/fuckboy, he thinks relationships are very important. He doesn't date anyone for sure. Now, his libra placements there makes me think he enjoys flirting, he enjoys the beginning of the relationships, but I don't see him fucking around anyone.

Thank you for reading and I hope you liked my answer :)

back to index ; ask ; requests ; rules

#astrology #jk #bts #bts astrology #jk astrology #jungkook #jungkook astrology #kpop #Kpop astrology

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pixaho · 3 months

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hi can I request a soulmate With Kizzy and kaito with girly reader?

I was thinking maybe reader could be a foreigner she goes to college but her & friend decided to take a break they go to Rocky’s club but accidentally runs into kaito & Kizzy she know they’re soulmates but is a little intimidating by them both ( just because she knows what they do with fighting) so she tries to avoid them but it stop working after a while. I want to see some angst and fluff

I’m sorry if there isn’t much details but this is the best I come up with I had a better idea but I forgot it

I Desire You

♥ Pairing | Kizzy x Kaito x Foreign!Reader ♥ AU? Yes | Soulmates and College ♥ Word Count | 1,336

♥ A/N | I'm so sorry for taking so long to write this! I hope you do enjoy it and for the sake of this, I added a wee little spicy scene because I love Kizzy and Kaito (certified Kizzy x Kaito shipper and WIFE). I also decided to add Kizzy going to college to get a degree or something and something a wee special!

♥ Warnings | Some angsty bs, a lot of fluff, and a wee little spicy scene for my spicey hoes. Also mentions of alcohol, violence, and scandalous dancing ;).

M.LIST H&L LIST

You weren't born when the Soulmate Stars Aligned happened. It had happened some time in the late 1700s, caused by a comet that looked different that hit the earth.

People thought it was truly nothing, but magnificent when the blue comet hit the earth. But something changed that very day. They started waking up with colors not being there, unless you were lucky. It was then noticed that when people met a certain person that those colors became full again. It was strange to say the least.

For the past hundreds of years, people have called those lucky people "soulmates". If you didn't find your soulmate, you lived without color or met another soulmate who couldn't see colors.

You had been stuck in your college room all that day when your friend and room mate mentioned a club she wanted to go to. Feeling the need to get out, you agreed. So she told you the place and time. She seemed to be very happy when you said yes.

So there you were, at the club, dancing with your friend and drinking different beverages. Most were alcoholic. The reason for the great club get together? She met her soulmate. Before you. You weren't happy with it but you were happy for her. So you both were treated to drinks.

You knew the club as you'd done research. The infamous Club Heaven, owned by Rocky who ran White Rascals. Or better known to your college as the devils. It wasn't a bad place nor was the gang bad, as they tended to protect many women of the place. You could see a few of the woman now, dancing scandalously in a similar way to how your friend was dancing as the music played.

You bumped backwards into a guy by complete accident and stumbled as he turned.

"何なんだ？?" He turned, looking right at you. "What the fuck?"

"彼女は酔うと不器用になるんだ." Your friend says as she gets in between you and the man. He seems highly intoxicated. Almost reeks of whiskey and not the cheap kind. It makes you slightly gag. "Sorry about her, she's a bit clumsy when drunk."

"その通りだ！俺のシャツを見ろ" He yells, louder than the club music. Which makes you giggle a bit. "Damn right you should be sorry! Look at my fucking shirt."

"もう謝っただろ. もういいよ. それに、シャツの洗濯はそんなに高くないよ." She's quick the respond, turning around as she finishes to get you to a bathroom. "I already apologized. That's enough. Besides, washing shirts isn't that expensive."

"このアマが！" He spits as he grabs a fistful of her hair, yanking it back. Everything happens so fast that your eyes are still looking at the intoxicated man as he hits the ground. You look from him to your friend who is talking to 2 other people, both of which are men. "You bitch!"

One of them seems uninterested in the whole situation, rather looking up at a man who is sitting at the railing of the stairs. He wears an all white suit with a cane and fingerless gloves. Rocky. The man that stands beside him looks like a butler. They seem to notice you staring, darting your eyes back at your friend who is talking to the other one. A rather cute person.

The other person turns to look at you. "大丈夫ですか？" "Are you okay?"

"ええと、大丈夫です. ありがとう." You speak somewhat lowly but loud enough for them to hear. They extend a hand, to which you shake before realizing who they are. "Um, I'm fine. Thank you."

Kizzy and Kaito of White Rascals, the two that everyone feared. The duo that, together, were the most people powerful.

You grabbed your friend. "もう行くよ. ちょっと疲れたし、明日に備えて酔いを醒まさないと." "I've got to go. I'm a little tired and need to sober up for tomorrow."

You turn, running out of the club.

♥

Ever since that day, you had been avoiding Club Heaven and White Rascals, which was quite hard to do considering the next few days, you found out that Kizzy went to your same college. But the weird thing is, that you hadn't rubbed hands with anyone after that night yet you could see color. Which only ever means one thing; Kizzy was your soulmate.

You told your friend of course, but as it turned out, Kizzy and Kaito were soulmates. Apparently, they both could only see a select few colors. That means, you were possibly both their soulmate.

So, for a whole month, you evaded Kizzy. If you were placed for a project in a class, you'd ask to be placed in a different group. If you had the same friends who wanted to go places, you would drop out of the activity. Soon you realized that avoiding her was impossible without ruining your own relationships and grades.

Today was the day that you ended your avoidance of your soulmates. You got placed in a project with Kizzy and only her. Everybody else got placed in groups, but due to the odd number, you were stuck with her.

Now you are sitting across from her as she stares at you. Even though you grew up in Britain, Japanese was still being learned. So, you decided to clear up the awkward silence and stares by ordering something off the menu.

"あの、おっぱい茶を注文してもいいですか?" You asked as the waitress stared at you in bewilderment. Kizzy giggles a bit. "Um, can I order some titty tea?"

"Stop laughing at me." You hide your face.

"彼女はお茶を頼みたいんだ. おっぱいじゃなくて." Kizzy smiles at the waitress. As she bows. She wants to ask for tea. Not boobs."

Still embarrassed, you refuse to remove your hands from your face. You knew at some point you had to make yourself look like an idiot, but did it really have to be the time that you are sitting across from one of your soulmates?

"So, you don't speak perfect Japanese?" She says flawlessly. You remove your hands from your face, confused. "Oh, I've been learning English. Figured a pretty girl like you were not from Japan."

Your face turns red at the compliment of sorts. "I just didn't expect someone to learn English."

"English for you."

"Still."

"Why the avoiding?" That's the question that chokes you up. You could lie and say that you didn't like her or you could tell the truth that you were scared of her and Kaito.

You decide on the truth. "I've heard about you and Kaito. A fearsome duo in White Rascals, those of who that fight and were also apart of Doubt. But I'm also scared-"

"Scared that we're soulmates?" She asks, moving a book on the table to the side. Your eyes widen.

"How did you know?" You squeak.

"It's weird that the same girl from the club that had a guy put his hands on her would ask the person who defended her about her soulmate unless it was..." She seems to think about the word before looking at you, "挑発された."

"Provoked?"

"Yes, that word."

"So, I guess I'm not the only one who isn't entirely used to or fully learned another language." You mumble, looking at the waiter as she places the tea down for you. You thank her.

Suddenly someone sits down at the table.

"Kaito!" Kizzy smiles. You keep your eyes glued to your tea. You can feel his glaring into you, but you can't tell if its anger or hatred. This makes you uncomfortable as you cough. A hand snakes over your hand and you realize it's Kizzy's. "Ignore him, he's just grumpy that you were avoiding us for so long silly."

You look over at Kaito who is no longer glaring at you but rather looking down at Kizzy's hand on yours.

"If we do a polyamory thing considering that we have another soulmate, I want a rule." He seems to relax in his chair.

"We can have a rule."

"Good." Kaito takes a breath. "Consent."

"Consent?" You ask, confused by that.

"Consent, to do stuff with you guys. I want action too." Kizzy giggles at that request and so do you.

"Sure." You mumble.

Mutuals ♥ | @talusional

#elixirol0gy #high and low fanfic #high and low #highandlowfanfic #frothing at the mouth #high and low kizzy #fluff #angst #high and low angst #high and low fluff #highandlowangst #highandlowfluff

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msallurea · 5 months

Text

Funny astrology moment:

As we know virgo is a known as a stereotypical "obsessive" sign.

Scorpio is also known as an obsessive sign

Scorpio is ruled by pluto/Mars while virgo is ruled by mercury

For a very long time I think even still now I was always very obsessed with the thought of being the most beautiful, popular, fame, etc I was literally OBSESSED with just being perfect..

Now mind u I have mars libra 1° in 12th house. Now subconsciously I absolutely am obsessed with all things beautiful and sensual BUT when I seen me I feel like the exact opposite and feel entirely more masculine (even tho that isn't what I wanna go for at all)

I have a Scorpio ascendant 19° which is also ruled by libra and I have always been attracted to that "cute and sexy" look I'm not entirely cute but not entirely sexy I'm a mix of both(or at least that's what I want)

I also find myself being both extremely dominating and extremely submissive depending on who I'm around. If the person is more softer I find myself more dominating and vice versa

I also kinda feel like this can apply to my moon as well. I have an Aries moon in 28° which is cancer sign. I find myself when in super stressful situations I cry when I'm upset or when I can no longer remain passive. While my body is in a state of being super emotional on the inside I'm thinking of like a gazillion different ways to beat somebody up and also find self imagining very vivid violent visuals when upset or stressed.

Side note: I am in LOVE with a soft femme look moon is also related to beauty. My moon is in 6th house ruled by virgo I love makeup looks that are soft but bold and doesn't have too much going on so it's subtle. Adding on, doing makeup or self care actually is VERY therapeutic for me. Things like head/scalp massages, breast massages, or just listening to a calming voice will literally reduce my stress immediately..mind u the head is ruled by Aries so if u stress prone like me I highly suggest HEAD MASSAGES. Also because my aries moon is in 6th house I find myself not really sticking to routines very often BUT if I don't have a certain routine that makes sense to me and everything is all controlling around me then I definitely get irritated and stressed out

Also music highly affects my moods. Since cancer is ruled by moon and moon are our emotions, music highly affects my emotions and can change my moods very easily. In my moon pc I have a taurus moon in 24° which is ruled by pisces. My moon in my moon persona chart falls on 5th house, my 5th house in natal is ruled by pisces, taurus in my natal falls in my 7th house..girl when I tell yall I am one the most hopeless of hopeless romantics out there 😭😭😭. And while I don't enjoy admitting it or at least that's not how it'll appear first hand, when I'm genuinely in love, people have told me I have a "fairytale" vibe to me and down to earth energy. Also when I'm in love or love themes in general actually make me GLOW literally and I find myself in the softest state ever (which is what I actually desire to exude) when in love, it awakens my suppress themes of sensuality, helps balance my aggression and so much more.

Side note: I am highly attracted to people who happen to have taurus, pisces and Scorpio like energy. Also if someone radiates that popular energy like a leo does I find myself extremely attracted to them as well..which is ironic because my midheaven is in leo

Also going back a little to my Mars libra 1°, which I think can also determine the men you're attracted to, I find myself extremely attracted to men who are gentlemen but give off "don't fucking play with me" energy. Like they the type of men who are like sweet to me but mean to everyone else type of energy. Men who cam give me princess treatment but still radiate king like energy towards me is like my kryptonite I be WEAKKKK also since it's in 12th house I find myself being attracted to men who are something like a fairytale but unfourtanetly I also tend to attract men who use my naive mind to manipulate me in other words "don't practice what they preach" they may say one thing but there actions be the complete OPPOSITE. Or I attract people who may seem sweet and nice but are actually aggressive and/or abusive asl. Other than that I find myself being attracted to men who are masculine but not excessively aggressive as if they have some feminine energy to them (like they're gentle, communicative, grounded, etc)

Now let's go back to my pluto for a moment, my pluto trines my moon (if it isn't obvious already I have a grand fire trine), I find that my emotions and how I feel about myself are directly link to how I may feel about myself. So does the environment I'm in it affects how I feel about my self worth. Moon rules over home, my pluto is in 2nd house and 2nd house has themes of self worth, security, etc. Growing up my self worth was based off materialism (and kinda still is) also my self worth and self esteem was linked to many and determined through lots of emotional and intense situations I went through in life. For example, my dad had left when I was young I also caught him cheating with the woman my mom didn't know of at the time but he told me to keep it a secret. Pluto is a planet of secrecy, I find I'm extremely good at keeping secrets..but maybe that's because of my Scorpio rising(also would like to mention that my Scorpio 1st house also has jupiter Scorpio 14° in 1st house and beauty and stability was a very reoccurring thing for me that i needed to figure out) anyway back to pluto, if I look at my pluto pc I have pluto in 4th house..my pluto pc also has a 4th house stellium in Sagittarius. My home has definitely determined a lot of how I may see myself, whether or not I'm beautiful, etc unfourtanetly this turned into a negative way. My pluto also squares my sun, mercury and Mars. When expressing myself I tend to seem very aggressive my voice is also deeper than most females and thats something i fibd myself insecure about, for my sun I also appear as if I'm more dominating or intimidating then what I'd like or at least that's how people think of me at first, my ego I'm ngl is a little fragile and I can get offended kinda easily when in low self esteem, as for sexual expression it's suppressed n I've had some traumatic sexual experiences, my sexual expression and sex appeal has also determined how I see myself and my self worth. Actually since I spoke a little on family in my natal I have Aquarius over my 4th house and my chiron and neptune sit there. Many of my inner child would have stem from family and lack of emotional connection/empathy. So many times I find myself fantasizing about being with a family that is much nicer and more emotionally available. I also tended to assume that male figures or family members in my life who weren't good people would end up staying in my life but they ended up leaving without giving an explanation thinking they would come back hut didn't left lots of foggyness around Honesty and promises. Also..Neptune rules over drugs, my main family members I live with all at some point have used drugs such as smoking and drinking and these drugs they cover it by saying it "helps with there mental health"....but I am easily influence by things that could potentially help my mental health or stabilize it even if it's bad..drugs being one of the many occurring things within my home, they are something I should highly stay away from since addictiction is probably likely possible to trigger me..did I mention my neptune is in retrograde LMAO and so is my chiron and mental health and family has been something I've had to work with in therapy for a very long time because my family and bonds are very impacting on me more than anything else.

Side note: I always find myself either being attracted to or want to embody the dark feminine energy and light feminine energy at the same time I literally cannot be one without feeling like I wanna exude the other

Back to my virgo side. I have virgo stellium in 11th house as I've mentioned before, I find that I talk much more online then I would in person. My mercury is in virgo 26° which is ruled by taurus, many people say that when I speak I sound very humble and down to earth. Also between all of my friends many of them admit that I tend to have this "good girl" or "shy girl" appearance and that I'm quite humble even if I do get a little loud every now and then (VIRGO ENERGYY) many people who I have become close to also mention that I appear as a "mom friend" or that friend that's always making sure everyone is in line and ok. Something I find that happens constantly is that I'm putting my friends in check like a mother would LMAO (I think this relates to my aries moon tho, I'm loving but tough) I also have a TERRIBLE habit of being judgemental and nitpicking and also extremely perfectionist especially when it comes to who I'm around and my social circle. Mind you my south node is in virgo 11th house..my north node is in pisces along with my Uranus in Pisces retrograde in 5th house. While I do criticize a lot I find myself behind close doors wanting to not do any of those things. I find myself wanting to make my own little path instead of crawling or being dragged into someone else's. While I do want to be accepted by everyone else deep down I definitely want to be able to make my own mark or be like one of those unforgettable it girls such as wonyoung where I literally am my own trend instead of having to ask for spotlight I'd have my own. Me being empathetic and sweet would actually be the thing that sets this off.

Side note: 11th house rules over manifestation and so does 12th house. My virgo being over 11th house I actually LOVE affirming..bow ofc not all the time but affirming and writing have made the most sense to me in manifestation. In 12th house I have mars, while I do have my visuals of violence and aggressiveness when it all comes down to it I definitely feel I embody that one Marilyn Monroe line where she said something like "I dreamt of myself being so beautiful" cuz I LITERALLY have had dreams of me being undyingly beautiful (haha libra 12th house energy libra rules over beauty) also since my Mars is in 1° I have also seen myself being somewhat of like a trendsetter because of my beauty or being famous from my beauty. Also mars is fast paced. While I am still working on it when I really buckle down n actually apply I tend to manifest pretty fast but on another side note I also tend to be pretty forgetful especially if my mind has been stressed from too much aggression or when there's too much on my mind I quite literally forget what I did 2 hours ago. Also north node in pisces bro literally everything I ever wanted tho it hasn't passed yet I have literally SEEN the life I wanna live, from my love life, to fame, etc plus it's in 5th house and 5th house rules entertainment. And recently I have also seen me one day having children..mind you for a very long time I was against it but for some reason this year lately I've been slowly accepting maybe wanting one baby. I'd like to add that my virgo sun is in 17° my neptune is also in 17° and neptune rules over dreams, the moment I turned 17 I had the most vivid dream of my dream self even tho it was for like 5 minutes I literally cannot explain it, now in whole sign I have it in 11th house and I literally seen myself being so mf popular for my beauty and I was GLOWING (leo having themes of glowing like the sun) now my Uranus being in pisces 12° in 5th house manifestation is highly possible for me, Uranus rules over originality. At around 11-12 years old is when I found manifestation and it was around that same time I had my first vivid visualization of my dream self n that is when I decided to start manifesting. I literally saw my dream self but she was like no one I've ever seen before. My north node and mc are in Aries degree (25°) and Aries is a pioneer, when I dreamt this I radiated this leader like energy pr main character energy

Anyways that's all I got for now sorry this is a little long tell me what u guys think or if any of u have any observations with my placements of your own

#msallurea #my blog #astro observations #astrology #astro notes

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transgenderteensurvivalguide · 4 months

Note

i’ve just recently started to understand that i’m non-binary. my dysphoria varies a lot, and when i’m wearing masculine clothing i’m fine, but when i dress in any way feminine i just become really uncomfortable with my chest? (i’m afab, and definitely NOT flat chested) like it literally depends on whether i’m presenting more femme as to whether i’m uncomfortable with my figure, but yeah. is this, like, odd? i’ve not seen anyone saying they feel like this yet and i don’t really know what it means for me.

Lee says:

Your experience is not odd or unusual! Gender identity and expression are deeply personal and can vary greatly from person to person. Many non-binary people experience fluctuations in their gender dysphoria, which can change depending on how they are presenting or how they feel on a particular day.

The discomfort you feel with your chest when presenting more femininely, while being fine with it in masculine clothing, is a valid experience.

That being said, one thing to consider is whether you're actually comfortable in feminine outfits in the current moment with the body/presentation that you currently have. You might be feeling self-conscious in women's clothes because you just aren't comfortable with wearing those clothes right now because it emphasizes things that you're not comfortable with (Aka reminds you of your chest).

You may want to experiment with different feminine clothing styles that might make you feel more comfortable. Sometimes a different cut, fit, or type of fabric can make a big difference in how the clothes drape on your chest, and it can be possible to wear a feminine outfit which doesn't emphasize your chest. Men's floral shirts with a stiff fabric can look feminine but also provide a good amount of coverage.

If you find out that even with different styles of clothes you still feel uncomfortable with your chest when presenting femininely, you may want to consider binding. We have more information about binding on our Binding FAQ page, so I won't get into the details of that right now, but binding might be a good option to creating the profile you like in the clothes you like.

But I think sometimes we tend to overthink these things. If you're saying "Doing X thing makes me feel bad!" and X thing is optional, and not doing X thing is neutral (or least not-bad for your health), then the solution might be "OK, just don't do X thing!"

So ultimately if you don't feel comfortable with your chest while dressing femininely, then maybe one solution is to not wear feminine clothes and then you don't have chest dysphoria and the problem is solved.

I think some people tend to react defensively to that, and I'm not saying you really Need to stop wearing feminine clothes, but I do think it's something worth considering. Do you really enjoy wearing feminine clothes? Or is it something you think you should like, something you used to like, or something you want to like but don't really like the reality of?

I used to have this confusion myself for a while with some gender expression stuff, but eventually I realized that in general there's a difference between admiring something and thinking a style looks cool and actually feeling comfortable doing that thing/wearing those clothes. I might like the idea of certain things but they don't make me feel comfortable and self-confident because it just feels like it's not me.

I do know that there are some people who had top surgery, for example, and then were super excited to start wearing women's shirts and crop tops and stuff like that because they really liked wearing women's clothes and just didn't like the way their body looked in those clothes, but it can vary.

Personally, when I was pre-op I wasn't super comfortable with how I looked in clothes (or without clothes lol) because I had a lot of body dysphoria. After I had my surgeries I became more comfortable with my body which included being comfortable about how it looks in clothes. But I didn't change my style because I still like the same things (I'm still wearing the same sweatshirt as I wore at 16 on the daily!) I just feel more comfortable in general, so I still tend to only wear men's clothes.

Anyway, circling back to where I started, it's possible that not feeling comfortable about your chest while wearing feminine clothes might be a sign that you're not comfortable with your chest in general, and the only reason you don't mind it in men's clothes is because you notice it less because the clothes aren't made to emphasize it. Journaling or reflecting on your feelings when you dress differently can help you better understand your dysphoria and what triggers it, and that might be a place to start if you're trying to get to the bottom of it. Therapy can also help you untangle your feelings.

I would also say that as things are now, experimenting with different solutions is a good idea. To recap, that includes not wearing clothes that cause chest dysphoria, wearing the clothes but also binding, wearing similar clothes but differently styled (with a zip-up sweatshirt left unzipped to hide your chest, a men's shirt with a stiffer different fabric but a similar pattern/print than the women's shirts you like, etc), or just wearing the same dysphoria-triggering clothes without binding but trying coping strategies to deal with the dysphoria.

These feelings can change and shift over time, so you may feel differently in the future-- maybe you'll grow more comfortable with your chest in time, or maybe you'll start to experience more persistent dysphoria and ultimately undergo surgery, or a myriad of other possibilities. It's okay if your feelings change over the course of your transition and it's perfectly normal!

You only recently started to figure out that you're non-binary and that means you likely haven't fully explored your identity yet. There are still some things about yourself that you may not really know yet-- we can surprise ourselves as we grow into our identities/selves and grow up.

I can't really tell you what your feelings mean for you because only you can figure out who you are and what it all means, but I can tell you that it's okay to feel that way, and that you'll figure it all out eventually.

#Lee says #dysphoria #clothing #chest m

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yakuzacanons · 5 months

Note

In dire need of anything Kiryu/Akiyama voice related thing with their s/o because good lord Akiyama's voice makes me turn into goop

SALUTES YOU solidarity, I also suffer from the disease known as kiryu/akiyama voice goop. Sorry for the long delay, I pwomise I am still alive and not dead. Here is your long awaited response, love u.

Kazuma Kiryu

Doesn't actually realize or doesn't understand that his voice is attractive. Several people, men and women alike, have told him he sounds cool but usually he's just like "...really?" in a low but surprised tone. Hostesses especially love complimenting his voice just to get this response out of him.

Having said that, he will just be confused as to your reaction to certain things he says or how he says them but eventually he will put two and two together without you having to tell him directly. He kind of gets flushed when putting it in practice on purpose, breaking eye contact and even blushing a little. Your reaction is worth it though and he gets more confident each time.

Our silly little Kiryu keeps things short, sweet, and stoic when he talks. Lots of cute praises, says things like "good job" or "I knew you could do it" with a gentle smile. Really loves either giving a classic, singular "wow" when stunned by your looks or getting kind of cheesy. Think 90's rom-com level cheesy. Somehow his deep voice makes it work though. He loves an up close speaking moment where he can whisper something that only you can hear.

Akiyama Shun

Opposite of Kiryu in that he KNOWS he has some rizz. Akiyama is one of the natural flirts out of all the boys so he kind of just uses his voice all the time when speaking to someone he's attracted to or in a relationship with. Once he finds out you're actually into that, it's all over for you because he will absolutely take advantage of that.

Bit of a smug bastard and enjoys occassionally making you ask him to say certain things that you like hearing. Typically he's pretty generous though and loves to sweet talk you, as he gets off on it just as much as you do. Confident with eye contact when speaking to you. Could flirt all day long.

The way he uses his voice tends to follow the pace of how you speak in conversation and he's pretty versatile. He can say a lot or very little and still get the same result out of you. Likes to say things like "Oh, really now?" with a little smirk on his face. If you're feeling flustered by something, he can be a bit of a tease and will say things like "Sorry, say that again?" just to get you even more flustered. He think it's cute.

#majima megaphone moment #yakuza #yakuza headcanons #yakuza imagines #ryu ga gotoku #ryu ga gotoku headcanons #akiyama shun #kiryu kazuma #kazuma kiryu #shun akiyama

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ae-azile · 2 months

Note

In your latest Progression chapter I loved how Namphueng did the cake announcing her sexual identity. It was such great idea and now I wonder what other characters would make as the same cake? What are others sexualities/sexual identities? Do they identify somehow other than gay? Kinn and Chay are gays but what about others? Is Porsche bi or pan? What about Tankhun and Arm? Also Kim expressed somehow being genderfluid and he is definitely demisexual or grey asexual. I think it would be extremely interesting for all of them to have some kind of discussion like that.

Namphueng loved her cake too LOL. She was very proud of it. I spent a while thinking of how the cake would look. While I couldn't find a cake that described what I wanted her to do, I did look up some reference pics for inspiration. Here are several that kind of fit some aspects of the style!

If you mix the aspects of these cakes all together, you sort of get what Namphueng accomplished. Girl worked HARD. It was so important to her because:

1. She remembers her first love, or at least bits and pieces. She remembers loving her deeply. I think creating a cake so elaborate and more suited for a small wedding was her way of committing to her true self, along with finding the woman she loved and clearly still loves.

2. She may have struggled with being her true self or being open about her relationship first time around. She isn't doing it anymore because every bit of her autonomy and happiness was kept from her.

So, yes! In Progression, Namphueng very much identifies as a lesbian. As for the other characters, some are probably up for interpretation, but I guess this is how I view them (at least for this fic).

Kim: I also see him as demisexual. I think he is enjoying sex with Chay. A LOT. But he can only come to enjoy sex if he is in love with and feels comfortable with the person he is sleeping with. Since he struggles with being so guarded, Chay is his first. I think his romantic orientation is likely panromantic, but his trauma and seeing so many people in his family get hurt/killed likely made him push the idea of romance away for a long time.

As for the potential for him being gender fluid, I don't think it is something he feels like he needs to find a label for, but wouldn't deny it if asked. I think he does certain things and presents himself in a way that feels right. He likely leans towards more masculine presentations, but likes light makeup on occasion, doesn't align with overt masculinity or societal expectations for men, etc. I think he also likes looking good for himself, and sometimes looking softer and slightly more feminine is something that appeals to him.

Overall, I believe he struggles with labels for multiple reasons. He doesn't like following traditional or strict expectations, nor is he great at communicating clearly (although he is getting a lot better). I think he also falls into this limbo in between labels, so he doesn't know what to make of it. He struggles with seeing himself as asexual (especially now) since he is having a very enjoyable sex life with Chay. He should probably should look into demisexual. I think it will be something that eventually comes up, even though he doesn't feel a NEED to find a label. However, an explanation and a sense of knowing he isn't the only one may help. 🙂

Porsche: I think he is probably pan, but could also be bi. Episode 8 showed him express minor anxiety over dating a guy, although I don't know if it was the emotional or physical aspect that worried him more. Regardless, I tend to categorize him a little more as pan since that tends to take a meaning of "experiences sexual attraction regardless of gender". However, I also see him as demiromantic.

Khun: Despite his and Kim's personalities being extremely different, I also see him as demisexual, panromantic. Part of his demisexuality likely stems from immense trauma since he needs to be with someone who understands him and he's comfortable with, but I don't think the gender of that person matters. In fics, I often mention him having a girlfriend prior to his kidnapping. I believe I did in this fic too. Now, he's very much in love with Arm. And like Kim, he also might be gender fluid, but doesn't over think it and just does what feels right.

Arm: He's a hard one, but he could be demisexual too, and he may lean towards homoromantic. That isn't to say he doesn't like to be seductive though. He takes his shirt off when drunk for a reason. However, I do think he was repressing a lot of desires until he became more comfortable with Khun. So yeah, maybe demisexual/homoromantic.

Pol: He says he's straight! But I also think he is a guy who needs and deserves a lot of love. I don't see him hooking up with just any woman or being in a FWB situation. He is probably heteroromantic, but does find a lot of satisfaction in platonic love too.

Vegas: gay, but demiromantic.

Pete: demisexual, biromantic

Macau: He's saying he's straight in this fic, but I don't see him sleeping around like his brother likely used to.

Kinn and Chay : gay and gay

Milan's sexual and romantic orientation will also become more clear in flashbacks as well.

Thank you for the ask! 🩵

#kimchay fic #kimchay fanfic #progression spoilers #progression ask #armkhun fic

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sxtvrns · 1 year

Text

duo of dreams

🎶 now playing: ordinary – nct dojaejung

P: Hueningkai x Fem!Idol!Reader

S: You were seductive. He was an angel. Two polar opposite concepts come together in ways no one would expect.

C: fluff, comfort, inaccuracy, self indulgence, girlboss reader, downbad hyuka, brainrot, drabbling, kinda long, not proofread

N: i am a baby moa so pls do not slander me if i dont get a millisecond of a certain stage performance correct. this is purely for self indulgence because i am so severely in love with kai and everything that he does. idek where this story went but im hoping it makes sense cuz i was so upset with the ending i changed it multiple times and this is the one i liked the most. this man is so fine and im glad im not the only one that thinks so

view the full perfume collection.

please interact if you enjoy!

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2021

The minute you turned 19, you knew what you wanted. Even before you turned 19, you knew what you were, and you knew what you wanted to make out of it. You were hot. Fierce, confident, and eye catching. Everyone knew it, too. You turned heads every time you went to the headquarters, seeing people stare at you out of the corner of your eye.

Before you were of age, though, you never openly exposed yourself in such a way. It was all a tough girl kind of concept. You tended to stay on the neutral, dark, concepts rather than cuter ones. If you were given an idea, you found a way to design it and stick it to your niche. You always preferred to do what you liked rather than being forced into a box with little room to do anything your way; it demotivated you.

As a solo artist, you had lots of creative freedom, being able to write your own songs and even nitpick at how you wanted them to sound. Sometimes you would just need a kickstart or a hint from another fellow producer to get the ideas flowing, and boy, did your mind flow with ideas.

Sometimes you were labeled as ‘provocative’ or ‘controversial’. Some even said you were acting too mature for your age. But it never hurts to get a head start.

When you weren’t music making, you often dabbled in modeling with your partnered companies or for magazines, really, any source of promotion. You felt even more confident while doing so as well, which further boosted your productivity in the studio. It all came full circle.

You tried to do what you like while also balancing music, and you managed to make it work. People looked up to you. Newer groups admired you, your stage presence, how you gave 100% in every single performance that you did, how you wouldn’t settle for anything less than perfect, how much effort you put into practicing.

You idolized your own fair share of groups as well. BTS, Blackpink, Twice; any group debuting for longer than you have, you admired. When you saw Suga crack a smile at your MAMA performance, you nearly broke character on stage, but held it in by letting your heart race and stopping your face from faltering. When Dahyun talked about you during one of her lives, saying you were cool and how she longed for confidence like yours, you nearly fainted on the spot.

You were still a growing girl with people you looked up to, inspired by everything that they do and how you could apply aspects from their performances to yours. You were truly committed to your craft.

You were invited onto a talk show, along with another group, whose name was not revealed to you. Off camera, you heard the footsteps of multiple people passing by, yet you didn’t know who since it was supposedly a surprise for both you and the other idols.

You adjust your mic, the cameras rolling and the MC and group introducing themselves. Though their voices together are loud, you can’t make out what they are saying, only adding more to the suspense. You’re suddenly given the cue by a staff member, walking out and seeing five men sitting together in their chairs with surprised expressions.

You’re equally as surprised, knowing you’ve seen their faces at previous award shows. “Tomorrow by Together?” You point at them, all of them jumping and freaking out at the fact you knew who they were. “Y/N, meet TXT!” The MC says, letting you sit in your chair as the boys calm down.

“Have you two met formally before?”

“I think once backstage, we were on Inkigayo together.” You answer, the event fully coming back to their memories as you mentioned it. “Do you remember our names?” Taehyun asks innocently, watching as your eyes scan over each of their faces before answering. You point at each respective member as you say their names. “Soobin. Yeonjun, Beomgyu, Taehyun, Hueningkai.” They all cheer and applaud as you dramatically bow towards them and the camera.

“Is there something in particular you like about each other’s music?” The MC asks.

“TXT has a certain flow in their music that manages to get stuck in my head; No Rules and Frost have been playing on loop for the past few days since those are my favourites. And the rhythm and the way each song plays a role within a story is something I really like.”

They all nod, the MC turning their head towards the boy group. “Hueningkai should answer for us.” Yeonjun ushers, patting the maknae on the back. “Yeah, he has your music on 24/7. Nonstop.” Beomgyu adds, only making Kai even more shy.

“Well, Y/N has a really significant, gritty style to her music and a satisfying edge that balances out throughout her songs, so each song is different in its own way. She really pays attention to the role of each instrument in the background and how well they balance together, and her ballads are really well put together because of this. Of course, all of her songs are good, but her ballads stick out even more to me. They’re usually the ones I listen to the most.”

“He’s good.” You say, all of them laughing. “Frost is actually Hueningkai’s song.” Soobin adds. “Really?” The maknae nods, all redfaced and flustered. “That’s why it’s so good then. You did the laugh at the beginning?” He nods again. “I picked it up from you, a little bit.”

“That’s amazing. I loved it, it gave the song the whole like, badass vibe.” You say, immediately covering your mouth. “I’m sorry, I don’t know if I can say that.” They all laugh it off, going back to the topic at hand.

As the interview progresses, you slowly find yourself getting more comfortable with the boys in front of you, laughing and joking around as the questions go on and on. They treat you like a close friend though you’ve only known each other for an hour, and your heart is filled with a familiar warmth as you even fall out of your chair from laughing so hard.

You compose yourself before the interview ends, and when the cameras cut, it goes silent, all of TXT staring at you, and you staring back. Hueningkai is the first to break, everyone else following right after.

━━━━━

the way he looks at her

hyuka had hearts in his eyes the whole time i swear

Y/N ONE CHANCE PLEASE

she is literally slaying so hard and all she’s doing is sitting in her chair

id freak out too if i was in the presence of y/n

IDK IF I WANNA BE TXT OR Y/N

hueningkai finally formally meeting his celeb crush guys the character development is real

━━━━━

You lurked a lot on social media, having your own personal accounts and such. This also meant you saw all those comments about the tension between you and Hueningkai specifically. They weren’t wrong about it; in fact, there was something there between you two that you couldn’t determine.

It was like a chain operated by a crank that wanted to pull you two closer together. You felt yourself drawn to him, and he felt drawn to you, yet you didn’t know why.

“Hueningkai has the biggest crush on you. He has some of your posters hung up in our room and always stays quiet if your performance is on. He never stays quiet for anything.” Taehyun said, which stuck with you the rest of the interview.

During the recording, you couldn’t help but feel your eyes drawn to him specifically, and how he’d already be staring at you when you looked at him. He could feel it too, the crank wanting to turn. You both were resisting against it, not letting the chain pull you two any closer.

He was cute, for sure. His innocence seemed to radiate off of him, and the way it contrasted with your maturity made you wonder why there was such a significant tension between you two.

So while you sat in HYBE’s cafe on the 19th floor, sipping on an iced chocolate while staring down at the streets below, you tried to take your mind off of him. But it was the most fun you’ve had with another group, and you wanted to relive the laughter in your head over and over again for as long as you could remember it, but Hueningkai was always the first person that came back to your mind when you tried to reminisce. As much as you liked it, it also felt like torture.

The doors of the elevator open with a ding, Hueningkai ordering a lime bachaas at the counter, noticing a familiar figure at one of the window seats. He gets his drink, taking a sip before guessing. “Y/N?” You turn around at the mention of your name, noticing Hueningkai who’s waving at you. You wave back, wondering what to do. It’d be awkward to leave it at this.

You nudge the chair out, letting him sit down next to you. “Are you busy?” You ask, knowing it’s late at night but not late enough until practices usually end. “Just finished. Had some dinner.” He’s usually rambling when he’s asked questions, but maybe today tired him out. You can’t blame him, you were equally as drained. “You watched our episode?”

He huffs with a laugh. “Yeah. I saw the comments too. We’re everywhere.”

“Hope you don’t mind. The internet is crazy.”

“I’m aware of that. I don’t mind at all. Do you?”

You shake your head. “I don’t really care.”

A comfortable silence lingers over the two of you. It isn’t awkward in any way, merely the sounds of the machines behind the counter serving as background noise. “You really picked it up from me?”

“Huh?”

“That laugh. In Frost.”

He awkwardly chuckles. “Ah, well, it’s a bit strange to say it out loud but, when I was recording that part, I tried to envision what it was like in your shoes. All… cool and villain like.”

“You think I’m a villain?”

“Wrong word… more like dominant. When we were sent the sample recording, I could immediately see you doing the song as your own, like I could hear you doing the intro itself. When I imagined your vibe, that’s how it came out. Is that weird?”

“No, I love it. I can understand why you think that way. You did a great job, by the way. Really sweet of you to think of me like that. Your performance for that song too, fuckin’ sexy.” You cover your mouth, looking around and seeing no one else around. “Can I swear?”

He nods with a small laugh. “Sexy?” He asks. “If I’m being honest, you looked really fucking hot up there. Just saying.” His face goes warm, partly at the fact you called their performance ‘sexy’, but mostly at the fact you called him hot right to his face with no shame at all. “Are you flirting with me?”

“Take it how you will, I’m just telling the truth.” Your eyes meet his for the first time during the whole conversation. You break first and finish off your drink, his gaze enough to intimidate yet fluster you at the same time. “I’m gonna go now. Hopefully I run into you again.” You get up, about to leave when you feel a hand tugging on your sleeve, stopping you.

“Um, do you want me to walk you back? We live in the same building and all, I just– it’s dark out.” He rambles, a smile creeping up on your lips. “So you’re cute and you’re a gentleman? I really found the one.” It doesn’t directly answer his question, but the compliment has his heart racing faster than before. “Sure. Let’s go.”

As you walk back to the dorms, you manage to make small talk with Kai, filling in the silent gaps when needed. “I do appreciate your attention to detail.”

“For what?”

“When you were talking about my music. I really like hearing other people’s interpretations on them and what sticks out and such. I’ll be sure to write more ballads for you.” You start off, joking around. “I think it’s a bit funny you view me as someone higher and you’re casually hanging out with them right now. The only difference is that I debuted after you did.”

“You flattered me too much already tonight, Y/N. One more thing and I might just faint from your words alone.”

“Pleased to know I make such an impact on you.”

“You’ve made quite an impact on me for a while now.”

Unlocking your door, you tell Kai to wait outside for a moment, handing him a folded slip of paper. “Thank you for the peace, Kai. Goodnight.” You go to shut the door, opening it slightly again. “Sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” You add, Kai walking back to the elevator after you shut the door. He doesn’t unfold the slip until he reaches his own dorm, numbers written down.

It was your phone number, words written right below it.

I enjoyed talking to you tonight. Text me whenever, and hopefully we can talk like this again.

His mind goes back to your words from earlier. ‘Sorry if I made you uncomfortable.’

Was it because you called him hot and that he was more secluded on the way back? It was only because he didn’t know what to say after. What was he even supposed to say to that? Thank you? You too?

Before he went to bed, he added your number to his contacts, and hid the note in one of his drawers. He realized one thing, though.

You were definitely flirting with him.

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The elevator door opens, Hueningkai alerted by the ding and turning around to see who it was. Your hood was on, yet he still recognized you, messing around and simply staring at you the whole time to see how long it would take for you to notice.

You see him out of the corner of your eye as you put your phone away, sheepishly waving at him as he proudly waves back, gesturing for you to sit with him.

“Do you wanna see something?” He asks, which grabs your attention. You nod, Hueningkai taking out his phone and opening his emails, tapping on something else. He fully reveals the screen to you, showing photos of him modelling for a campaign. He scrolls through them, and you simply sit there, admiring how he glows in every single one.

“God, you look so good in all of them.” You mutter, hearing him giggle as he shuts his phone off. “You’re the first person to see them.”

“Really?” He nods, running his hand through his hair. “I feel so special.” You smile, wondering how his silly demeanour could turn into that in front of a camera. “Do you want me to send them to you?”

“Can you really do that? It already feels a bit illegal just looking at them.”

“No one needs to know.”

You huff, accepting his offer. “If you’re encouraging it.” He turns on his phone again, sending the photos to you with a ding. “Have you been busy today?” He asks, putting his phone back in his pocket. “Writing. Dancing. I’m performing for KBS, so I’ve been rehearsing. Speaking of which, I just had an idea.” He leans in closer, intrigued.

“Could you… record a few lines for me? It’s for my festival performance; it isn’t a lot, I swear. Just some dialogue. Whenever you aren’t busy, of course.”

“I’m available tomorrow.”

“Great! Cool, I’ll text you more about it. You’re on the setlist too, right?”

“Yeah. Just our title track.”

“Looking forward to it already.”

“What song are you covering, anyways?”

“U-Go-Girl, then transitioning to my title.” His eyes widen, remembering the dialogue that would have to be voiced over by him. “Oh.” Thinking about it alone is almost embarrassing, but he takes pride in the fact that he’s the first person you thought of to record such… important lines. “If you don’t want to, I can find someone else–“

“No, no! I can do it, yeah, I can. I want to. Sounds fun.” He cuts you off, sounding almost too excited. “You know what you’re getting yourself into and not just doing it because I asked.”

“Really, I’d be honoured. Playing a part in your performance.”

“Good. I’d have a hard time finding someone else then, anyways. Wasn’t planning on asking anybody else.”

“So I was first pick?”

You pause, looking for an answer. “You’d add your own little Hueningkai flair to it. I’m not sure exactly what it is, but you’re gonna help me make it stand out from the rest. And that’s exactly what I want.” You always had a thing for being different. Different in a good and influential way, in a way where you wouldn’t be compared to others, rather others were compared to you.

You yawn, covering your mouth and letting your head hang to the side. “Today must’ve taken a toll on you, huh?” You feel his sleeve briefly brush against your hood. “Dance was… hard today. I couldn’t get the moves right even though it’s the easiest dance to ever exist, my brain was mush, I was failing to comprehend anything– I did great in everything else but the performing, stage presence part of it.”

“Don’t beat yourself up. We all have bad days, and it’s okay to feel horrible about it, but you learn to move on and improve. Trust me, I should know.” Kai advises reassuringly, his hand having a gentle grip on your shoulder. “Thanks, Kai. I just feel like a bit of a lazy ass not being able to do things at the pace I usually do.”

“You haven’t been overworking yourself, have you?”

“Not necessarily.”

“If you need to take a little break, take one. Better to be conscious to perform than not perform at all.” He jokes it off, even making you giggle a little as well. “I’ll take your advice to heart, Kai. Means a lot that you care.”

“You aren’t lazy, by the way. I’ve seen your performances and judging from how you exceed everyone’s expectations, you are far from that. You’re a hard worker, Y/N.”

“You really know how to flatter a woman, do you?” His face flushes on the spot, instantly a flustered mess. “Like you said, I’m just telling the truth.” He says, mostly spitting out words that he isn’t entirely sure of. “And you pay attention! My goodness, I’ll never find another guy like you. I’ll treasure you forever, Hueningkai.”

“Stop that…” He murmurs, still flustered and warm faced.

“Don’t be embarrassed! I mean it. I’ll never regret ever knowing you and being a friend of yours.” He only hides his face deeper into his hoodie, giggling as you take a sip of your drink. “Don’t fall in love yet, Huening, you should take me out on a date first.” You tease, finishing off your drink and tapping on his shoulder as you get up to leave “Don’t make false accusations, you’ll get in trouble for that.” He follows behind you, throwing away his own cup.

“I really did appreciate the advice, though. Maybe I was a bit too harsh on myself. I promise I’ll try to be more self aware.” You look up at him with a nod as the elevator doors close with a ding, and he nods back, giving you a thumbs up.

When you arrive at your dorm, you finally figure out a time. “Are you free at 3 tomorrow?” You ask. “For what?”

“For recording, duh. Was this not the first thing we talked about?”

“It was actually the second thing.”

“Okay, smartass, that was rhetorical.” You laugh it off, waiting for his confirmation. “Yeah, I am. I’ll take some time out of my practice for it.”

“I can do it sometime else if you’re busy, then–“

“Y/N, I’m practicing all week, it’s fine. You won’t get my recording in time if you were to do it when my schedule isn’t actually packed. I’ll let them know, okay? Don’t worry about it.”

“Fine, but if I get a complaint that pulling you out of practice was unprofessional I’m blaming you.”

He chuckles. “Fair enough.”

“See you tomorrow, then?” You peek your head out the door at him, tiredly staring at him. “See you. Get some rest, Y/N.”

“You too, Kai.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Hueningkai steps out of his practice, following the directions you gave him through text, seeing a few staff members outside the recording booth. They let him in, shutting the door and putting on the given headphones. “Hi Kai. You ready? Need water or anything?” You’re sitting in the producer’s booth at the computer with another staff member.

“I’m good.”

“I’ll play the sample recording for you. Unless you want to go straight into it?”

“Sample.”

Kai had a way of mimicry that you admired. It stayed true to the original, but his voice made it stand out the exactly how you wanted it to, that he got it only after the second recording. You play it back to him, this time layered on top of your main vocals, the part transitioning to your song being the most prominent section where his voice really stands out. “Do you wanna rerecord anything? Personally I think this is the take.”

“Then I’m good.”

You frown at the way he describes himself, even though he isn’t entirely wrong. “Alright, then that’s it. Thanks for coming in.”

“Should I see you later today?” He asks, the other staff member looking at you. “Yeah, sure. Just get back, I feel I’ve taken you for too long already.” Hueningkai begins to tear bits off the lyric sheet, the sound of it reverberating in the room you’re in. You simply watch as he rolls the bits into tiny crumpled balls, leaving them on the stand.

“At least clean up after yourself. You can walk a girl home but can’t pick up your own trash?” You joke, Kai’s ears going red as he takes the bits with him, muttering a goodbye before leaving the room. “You’re close with him?” The staff asks, finicking with the audio.

“Yeah. Why?”

“Nothing. You two seemed to just click instantly. Do you wanna hear how it sounds now?”

As the sky darkens, you wait for a response from Hueningkai almost too eagerly, checking your phone every time it buzzed in your pocket, hoping it was him. You stopped by your rendezvous, just to take a seat and listen to the recording over and over again; it was that good that you wanted to put it on loop and just admire it as many times as you could.

“Boo!”

Hueningkai pounces on you, his hands grasping your shoulders to make you jump. “Kai– do not do that! If I had a drink in my hand right now, I would’ve thrown it at your face.”

“So mean!”

“Reflexes.”

He sits down next to you, leaning in to see what took up all your attention that you didn’t notice him lurking behind you. “Wanna listen? It’s the backup vocals for my performance.” You offer him an earbud as he accepts, playing up until the transition. “And that’s most of it. For now.”

“Feels a little bit wrong to get early access to this.”

“It was only part of it. And now you know how I felt when I saw those photos of you.”

“They’re up now, so nothing to worry about. I saw your messages but that was during water break, so I didn’t get to respond. Figured I’d find you here.”

“I felt like giving up and going back to the dorms. This was a last resort.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t get to even text you afterwards. Slipped my mind.”

“It’s fine. This is all I wanted to show you anyways.”

He pauses for a moment, staring at the ground trying to remember what it was about the KBS festival he was going to say. “Oh! Right, I just remembered I was gonna tell you something.”

“What is it?”

He leans in closer and whispers something.

“I’m dying my hair.”

“Really? What colour?”

“Brown. Then after the festival, black.”

“Are you getting a new concept?” He nods excitedly, his grin unable to be contained. “I will keep my mouth shut. But I’m excited to see what’s to come!”

“I think you’ll like it. We’ll be working on recordings after the festival.”

“Oh?” You were intrigued. “I’ll like it?”

“It seems like something you’d enjoy, at least. I’m hoping you will.”

“Now you have me wanting to know more. You know this is very unprofessional of you, speaking about your group’s plans with another colleague.” You poke fun at him, leaning in. “I’m speaking to you as a friend, not a business partner. And with how much unreleased information we’ve been sharing with each other, it’s safe to say that we are more than just business partners.”

“I feel like a schoolgirl sharing secrets with someone.” You giggle, Kai’s smile growing. “I heard somewhere they call you Hyuka, can I call you that?” Why did the name sound so perfect when it rolled off your tongue? He did his best to stop his face from heating up and replied. “Yeah. You can.”

“It’s cute. I like it.”

He doesn’t reply, avoiding eye contact with you and simply replying with a nod. “You really get flustered over the smallest things, don’t you? Nothing to be ashamed of.”

“Maybe it’s because I can’t believe the Y/N keeps flirting with me. Not very professional of you.”

“Oh, the irony! It’s corroding my heart…” You overdramatize, earning a snicker from the boy seated beside you. “If it makes you uncomfortable, I can stop. I hope you know that wasn’t my intention.”

“I know. And it doesn’t. If anything, my heart beats so fast that I just can’t think of anything to say to you because I’m so focused on the fact my heart is racing in my ears.”

“So you like it?”

“I mean, who wouldn’t want to be called cute by the L/N Y/N? If anything, I’m lucky enough to be talking with you like this.”

“Now you’re the one flirting with me?” You laugh, checking your phone. “I have an interview tomorrow. I’m a bit nervous.”

“Why? You’re always great in interviews. You’re comedic, you’re stylish–“

“It’s one where the MC asks questions to get under your skin. Like a hot seat.”

“Oh.”

“I’m not… I’m not very open with my personal life. I don’t usually talk about it. He might go that far.”

“Can you not cancel?”

“Too late now. I was booked for it but didn’t care to ask what it was about since I was too busy with other things.” You feel his hand rub your shoulder reassuringly, giving you a look that said ‘it’s gonna be okay’. You sheepishly smile, his hand not leaving you for as long as you stay with him. “I just don’t want to get into controversy right before that big performance. It’s gonna ruin my confidence and my performance is gonna be shit and when I look back on it I’m gonna hate myself–“

“Y/N, you’re gonna be okay. Your fanbase would understand wholeheartedly if they are really fans of yours. They would defend you until the end of the line. Have you seen what they can do? It’s a bit terrifying.” He says, making you chuckle. “I get why you’re so nervous, but if the episode is that bad, they’d have a reason to not stream it.”

Hueningkai’s words stay with you the entire night leading up to the interview, where you’re seated in the chair and the cameras are rolling. The questions start off innocent at first, typical questions you’d get on any other interview.

“What is it like being a role model for newer idols?”

“What is your favourite performance outfit so far?”

“Is there a specific place you’d like to go to for a world tour or concert?”

Then it slowly started getting more… iffy.

“Do you have a ghost writer?”

“Did Bighit force you into the ‘sexy’ concept when you turned 19?”

“How many times have you cried over your duties as an idol?”

When it got into relationships with others, however, that’s where you drew the line.

“Have you ever had a boyfriend before?” The MC asks with a shameless smile on his face. “No.”

“Is there anyone you have your eyes on right now? A celebrity crush?”

Your face begins to burn red, your heart pounding so loud and fast you can hear it in your ears, and you’re struggling to spit out logical answers.

“Not in particular.”

“Sunghoon from Enhypen? You two are known to be close friends. Is he your type?”

“Please don’t bring my friends into this.”

“P1Harmony, what was his name… Jiung!“

“I don’t–“

“What about Hueningkai, the boy from TXT? Ever since that interview, people have been endorsing you two as a pair.”

“I don’t think you should be dictating someone to fulfill my relationship status. You have absolutely no power over me and my relationships with others, and God knows everything about me and my friends while you don’t, so keep your mouth shut.”

The whole room goes silent. You’re holding back tears and you want to swear at him so bad, but this seemed to be impactful enough already, so your eyes stare daggers into his soul, as if they pierced through his heart to make it stop beating. “Well, you certainly live up to your fiesty trait.” He laughs off, switching to the final cue card.

At the end, in your dressing room, you’re so overwhelmed with humiliation and embarrassment, the tears that couldn’t escape your eyes begin to flood again as you pull out your phone, the first person to come to mind being Hueningkai.

hyuka

are you there?

hiii!!!

how did it go?

horrible

it all went to shit

oh… are you okay?

can i see you later? same place?

sure, ill be there by 9

Your hood is on for the rest of the day, pace relentlessly fast as you walk into the headquarters. The face ID for the elevator can barely recognize you with how much you’re trying to hold back from crying, and you avoid any eye contact with the staff that join you in the small space. You finally look up when you reach the 19th floor, seeing Hueningkai turned around and looking at you, and you begin to break down then and there.

“Woah, Y/N…” He runs over, catching you before you can fall on your knees. “What happened? What did he ask?” You feel like shit knowing Kai is trying to help you, but you aren’t able to say anything because you’re so overwhelmed with tears and how embarrassing you look crying in front of him.

“Do you want to come to my place and we can talk about it? Or do you want to go to yours? The boys are just practicing vocals so it’ll be just us, no need to worry about someone overhearing.” He’s so extremely patient with you, making you cry even more. You point at him, meaning you want to go to his place, because it was the first thing that came to mind. “But what about you?”

“Don’t worry about me. I’m only worried about you.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

who does he think he is???

i cannot believe the staff did not notice how uncomfy y/n was even after she yelled at them

the fact he just laughed it off like what?

this was so incredibly disrespectful, i dont even know how this show is still up

who is allowing this to be aired theres clearly something wrong with this

he knew he crossed a line and did not care how stupid can you be

i knew there was something off about this

imagine being scolded by y/n id disappear off the face of the planet forever

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

You sat quiet in your waiting room, scrolling through the posts on social media all written about you and that damn interview. You knew you were in the right, and you hoped everyone else knew that too. Luckily, they did. They didn’t bash you for anything, their dissatisfaction going towards the MC and the show.

You received endless support and praise for standing up for yourself and putting the host in his place, and you were so incredibly relieved for that. You watched the show broadcasting patiently on the TV in your room, TXT’s title track beginning to play. You were so fixated on it that you almost forgot you were going on next, the staff calling you backstage.

When their performance ends and they come offstage, you clap and cheer for all of them as they pass by, waving at Hueningkai enthusiastically when you see him. “Hyuka!” Even under the dim light, you see him with a tired smile as he runs over to you. “Wow…” He looks at you, eyes trailing over your outfit. “You look good.”

“I could say the same for you.” Maybe it was the lighting, or how nervous you were, but seeing your friend post-performance trying to catch his breath, sweat dripping down his face, his cheeky smile as his gaze with those tired eyes doesn’t waver from yours, you knew it was wrong to be thinking such things. But he looked hot. Really hot.

“I’ll see you in your room?” You ask, and he nods, head turning away first and eyes last. God, he had a gaze that could kill you.

The metronome begins playing in your earpiece once you’re on stage, and you let your confidence take control. Hyuka’s voice plays in your ear, and if you’re being honest, the one thing that usually runs through your mind is thinking about how cool you are to be on stage and performing for such a large audience. Did it make you seem like you were full of yourself? A little bit. Did you care? No.

When the song changes, so does the mood. The lights change colour and are different brightnesses, and so does your outfit. You discard your jacket and the skirt you’re wearing, adorning a matching pair of shorts and a sleeveless shirt, and a fishnet longsleeve underneath. Your title track begins, and the crowd screams so loud you can hear them over your instrumental.

After the rush of adrenaline from being able to make the crowd scream louder than ever, you walk offstage, saying thank you to all the staff as you pass by. You make a quick pitstop to your room, grabbing a few things before trying to find TXT’s. The next performers pass by and give you cheer silently, and you can’t help but smile back despite your exhaustion. You knock on their door, a staff member opening it. “Hi Y/N. How come you aren’t in your room right now?”

“Is it okay if I come in?”

“Is that Y/N?” Someone asks.

“Y/N!?” Another voice asks, who you can recognize as Hueningkai. The staff member moves aside, and there’s Hyuka, standing behind him with that goofy smile on his face. He pulls you in for an unexpected, brief hug, looking at you all thrilled. “Your performance was amazing! You looked so good up there, and the transition and your execution–“ He’s so excited that he just jumps around with glee, and you manage to laugh at his enthusiasm.

You take a seat on the empty couch with a content sigh, Hyuka then sitting next to you. “I loved your performance too. The brown hair suits you.” The colour made him look younger as if he wasn’t already, innocence along with it. “I like it. I wish you’d keep it.”

“You should’ve seen my in my group’s Magic era.”

“Do you have photos? It’s been a while since I’ve last seen it.” He pulls out his phone, photos of him from that time showing up after mere seconds of him typing it in. “You looked so cute! And so much younger…”

“We were both 17 that time, so obviously. I saw your concept during this time too. You looked cute too.”

A part of you wants to believe that he means it. Another part of you is making you think that he’s just saying it to be nice since you do that to him all the time. “So you’re saying that I’m not cute now?” You ask rhetorically, letting him search for his answer. “I’m saying that you’ve always been cute. How’s that?”

“You don’t mean that.”

“I do.” He’s looking at you so sternly that you want to believe him, and the fact he hasn’t broken out into laughter probably means that you should. “Soobin, Hueningkai is flirting with Y/N.” Beomgyu says, making you the first to break eye contact with him. “Don’t make her uncomfortable, Hueningkai.” His leader says, lounging in his chair.

“I think she likes it.”

“I do not.”

“Then why is your face so red? You don’t see me all flustered when you call me cute.”

“Actually, I do. We’re even.”

You both sit there in silence, Hueningkai scrolling on his phone mindlessly, lurking on his social media. He opens his camera to check and fix his hair, but notices you in frame, your eyes shut and head on his shoulder. You fell asleep on him.

He’s frozen in place, unsure what to do. He doesn’t move for as long as your rest on him, merely going back on his phone with a quiet chuckle. He snuck a few photos with you, and looking at them he realized that you were still as cute as he called you, even while you were asleep. When he looked up from his phone, he saw Yeonjun with his camera facing the two of you, fingers tapping on the screen.

“What are you doing?” Hyuka asks, Yeonjun immediately putting his phone away. “Nothing.” He lies, going back to using it as normal. You don’t stay asleep for long, being called back to your room by one of the other staff members. When you leave the room, Kai gets a text from Yeonjun, odd being that they were merely across the room from each other. He opens it to reveal a few images and even a video of the two of you together.

“Look at Hueningkai… Y/N is sleeping on his shoulder. Our maknae has really grown up and his crush is resting with him, they’re so cute. Saving this for when they date in the future.”

You nearly doze off in your own waiting room until your phone buzzes in your hand, a text from Hyuka appearing. It’s photos of the two of you, mostly of you sleeping on his shoulder while Hyuka is on his phone or taking selfies with you.

you looked so peaceful i felt bad when i had to wake you up

were you about to sleep in your room? im sorry if i woke you up again :(

ah its okay

who took the other photos?

yeonjun

were you just on your phone the entire time

i didn’t wanna wake you up!

can i come back

im not sure let me ask

👍

no u cant cuz the show is almost over

aw man

we’ll talk tomorrow! its my off day so we have all the time in the world

you’re over exaggerating a little bit

only a little bit

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Y/NS PERFORMANCE MY LORD

SHE LITERALLY ATE THAT UP

she proved that flop of an mc wrong

is that hueningkai’s voice in the background??

GUYS AM I TRIPPING OR IS THAT HYUKA

hueningkai doing the dialogue for y/n’s cover is something i didnt know i needed

r they like best friends off screen because that’d literally be so cute like y/n asking hyuka to do the vocals for her

they sound so good together omg

collab when?

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

2022

You were close with Hueningkai. You talked a lot, you hung out a lot, you even did media promotions with him, and you had little inside jokes that no one seemed to get, which made them funnier.

You two also had a tendency to… flirt with each other.

You could never see if he was being serious or not, and he’d never tell you afterwards and just move on. You’d do the same, which was only fair, but you really wanted to know if he meant it. Sometimes you wished he did. Other times you didn’t care.

You did lives together, mostly consisting of gossip and eating snacks, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. You even walked in on him once in the middle of one, and was unofficially invited as a guest.

You did promotional content with each other, and had a lot of pictures together in your camera roll. You almost lost important screenshots and info because of it. But every time you opened your gallery, you smiled, seeing pictures of him and the two of you messing around together reminding that there was more to life than just work.

It’s officially known by everyone, you and Hueningkai were best friends. Two peas in a pod, doing a lot of things together when you both were free. You were being shipped together, and while you were worried it made him uncomfortable, you also kind of liked it. Which begun the spiral of thoughts: did you have a crush on him?

You felt even more like a schoolgirl talking about it with your friends, except you were left alone with your own thoughts. You only flirted with each other about what, hundreds of times? He’d pat your back to calm you down, hold your hand if he noticed you shaking, run his fingers through your hair when you’d ramble, hug you when you need it, wipe off any crumbs that were left at the corner of your mouth…

He had comebacks that made your face go red, snarky replies and comments that made your heart race more than anything else, he looked hot when he was performing, like, really hot, he made sure you were the first person to see his unpublished modeling photos (all of them drove you crazy), he looked really pretty with contact lenses, he was the only person that could leave you stuttering and scrambling for words…

The list went on and on. And the more things you found out you liked about him, the more the answer became clear. You liked him. You liked your best friend.

Sure, he’s told you before that you were his celebrity crush, but that’s different. You liked him on a personal level, a level that could make or break your relationship with each other, and that was what scared you the most. You really liked him, to the point where if he rejected you, you’d go dark for a few days trying to recover.

You wanted to tell him so bad. Every time you tried, your heart would race uncontrollably and you couldn’t choke out a single word. It was almost embarrassing how flustered his simple actions made you, let alone on a livestream.

“I told my sisters about you.” He says, staring up at the clear, starlit sky. “Really?”

“My younger sister is a big fan of you, actually. She debuted this year. Older has plans to, and she says you’re really cool.”

“Tell them I say thank you. What group is your younger sister a part of?”

“Kep1er. Bahiyyih?”

“You did that Tiktok with her, I remember. You guys look scarily alike.”

“We really don’t.” You glare at him, straight faced. Hueningkai looks at you, face illuminated by the lights hidden underneath the plant fixtures. “You look pretty.” He thinks aloud, knowing you heard judging from the expression on your face.

You laugh. “I know.” You expect him to laugh the same, but his face doesn’t seem to change in any way. “Oh, you’re serious.”

“I always have been. You just never see it that way.”

“Oh.” You’re struck with a pang of guilt, cursing yourself internally. “You weren’t just being nice?”

“I meant every word I said. I hope you’re taking me seriously right now.”

It seems like I’m not, but I am. I really am.

“This is awfully bold of you, Hyuka.”

“I really like you, Y/N. How’s that for bold?”

He was being serious, unphased with genuine, meaningful eyes. “You always stayed by my side, even when I was feeling down. You remember the little things about me; my drink orders, the snacks I get, my habits, and merely being able to see you makes my day a whole lot better.”

You’re standing there, mouth slightly hanging, unable to say anything. The words are stuck in your throat, and you want to say something, but you feel like you’re gonna faint if you speak a single word.

“I… I can’t…” You’re too embarrassed to face him, knowing his eyes are on you. “I need to go…” You mutter, hand brushing over his for a second before leaving him unanswered on the silent, dimly lit rooftop.

You’re running down the stairs, mashing the buttons on the elevators, messily typing in your key code, falling to your knees once you step foot in your dorm. You’re coughing so much from your horribly paced breathing, and the pain adds to your tears, slowly trailing down your face.

Why were you crying? You didn’t deserve to cry. You were the one that hurt him, leaving him there because you were a coward. It hurt like hell. You barely managed to clean yourself up, falling asleep the second your head hits your pillow.

Practice the following day was straightforward, but you still felt empty. You would’ve gotten a text from Hyuka already, but the only messages there are the ones from yesterday. It hurts to see it so empty, and you want to talk to him, but what if he already hated you?

Entering the elevator, you run into Taehyun and his hooded mop of black hair. “Hi Y/N.” He greets. You tip your head to greet him, guilty for being able to talk to one of Hyuka’s friends and not him himself. “You should go talk to him. He skipped out on practice today.”

“Does he hate me?”

He scoffs. “Hueningkai could never hate you. You made his life 100 times better, according to him.” He pauses and sighs as the elevator nears the floor to the cafeteria. “Even for a few hours, he really didn’t seem like himself. If anything, he’s wondering if you hate him.”

As the door opens and Taehyun steps off, you get a text from Hueningkai.

im sorry.

forget i said anything.

“Shit.” You mutter, Taehyun eyeing you the entire time until the doors close. It’s one swift ride down to the bottom floor, and again, you run, but this time faster than you did the day before, spamming the buttons on the elevator and going to his floor. You stop in front of his door, knocking on it and ringing the doorbell. “Hueningkai? It’s me.” You say. No answer.

“Hyuka? Please, can we talk?” You plead, not hearing anything from the inside. You spam his messages instead, calling him 10 times before giving up. You then remembered accidentally peeking at him entering his dorm code, but you forced yourself to forget it for the sake of his privacy. Given he wasn’t answering, you forced yourself to remember.

He jokingly scolded you that day before shutting the door, but what did he type before that?

Your faded memory punches in the series of numbers you picked out, the door suddenly unlocking. You look around, seeing an empty hallway before shutting the door and locking it, taking your shoes off and running to his room. “Hyuka?” You call, hearing muffled sniffles from a distance. That had to be him.

You didn’t bother knocking. You opened to door, seeing Hueningkai’s face all messed with tears, puffy red eyes, and his arms clinging tightly to one of his stuffed animals. His eyes widened before he hid his face with a tissue. You walk over to him, helping him wipe his face with the tissues. You quickly get up and rush to his kitchen, refilling the glass of water on the floor beside his bed.

He’s calmed down by the time you get back, accepting the glass and drinking half of it. “How did you get in?” He asks, voice hoarse. “You typed in the code once and I accidentally saw. I took a shot in the dark.” You hold his face in your hands, warming them, wiping away a fallen tear with a stroke of your thumb. He clearly didn’t remember. “I’m sorry–“

“No, don’t be. I’m sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for.”

You sigh, heart pounding in your ears. “I was a coward for running away. It was stupid.” He chuckles. “I don’t even know why I’m crying, I just started thinking of you, and everything I’ve lost, and…” He cuts himself off, knowing he’d start crying again if he said anything else. “I’m right here. You haven’t lost anything.”

You move his hair out of his face, and all you can do is look at him. His post crying face, rosy and glistening, a content smile on his face. “I like you too, Hyuka. Your duality, your laugh, your carefulness, your personality…” You begin to look at the smaller details on his face. “Your eyes, your lashes, your jawline…”

“Your lips.”

The crank holding the two of you finally snaps, and you’re fully drawn to him.

You kiss him, and everything feels just right, sensing his surprise through the noise he made at the sudden action. It’s a first for both of you, so you could be as awkward as you needed to while learning how to kiss each other. But you were fast learners, and you got the hang of it quickly.

He pulls you closer by the waist, holding you close to him as you straddle his hips, kissing you fervently. So fervently that you swear you hear him moan in between a few kisses, and you try not to enjoy it as much as you do. Pulling away for a second to admire him, the way his chest heaves as he’s out of breath, his eyes doing the pleading for him.

You lean in closer. “Do you like being like this?” You ask, forehead against his, lips grazing over his own. “Mhm.” Your hand holds his face again, warm and tempting. “Is this what you’ve wanted?” He nods again. “For how long?”

“Too long.”

His lips are back on yours, dominant and hungry. He was the only one that could restrain you like this, and for once, you didn’t mind not being in control. His kisses move down to your neck, feeling him smirk after eliciting a groan from you.

“You can’t…” You start, feeling him stop and pull away. “People will see. We can’t risk it.”

Being in the industry meant that lying out of hickeys was nonexistent. Dating scandals would come abuzz and the only thing people would ask you for the next few weeks was who gave you that purple mark on your neck.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

The door suddenly opens, and you’re met with a shaken Beomgyu, eyes wide and jaw dropped. You immediately get off of Hueningkai, putting your hood back on and sitting on the side of the bed, gesturing zipped lips to the poor boy. “Soobin! They’re– they’re… Y/N’s here!” Beomgyu rephrases, a better choice of words than what you assumed he’d say.

“I’m sorry. That was a dick move of me.”

“It was. All I wanted was closure, and I got it, so it’s okay.”

His hand rests on top of yours. “Can I be your boyfriend, Y/N?” You blush, face hot as if you weren’t just making out with him a few minutes ago. “Yeah. Yeah, I’d like that. But what about our label?”

“You’re closer with Bang than I am. Could you talk to him?” You nod, kissing him one last time before leaving, avoiding eye contact with Soobin and Beomgyu on the way out. You bump into Taehyun on the way to the door. He looks at you with a smile, following with an affirmative nod and letting you go.

Taehyun budges through the border of Soobin and Beomgyu at his own bedroom door, Yeonjun peeking over and seeing Hueningkai all red and smiley. “What happened?” The oldest asks, eyes still on the youngest.

“Y/N happened.” Soobin answers, Yeonjun’s gaze locked on the maknae. Maybe it was his older brother genes that he noticed something different than the Hueningkai he saw this morning, but judging from the fact you walked out with your hood on, Hyuka’s shirt being slightly crumpled, his blanket gathered at the footboard, some of his plushies fallen out of place, and slight tinges of pink on and surrounding his mouth, he deduced you two had a little bit of fun.

“Took him long enough.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

2023

Your relationship was smooth sailing as it ever could be with your schedules. A member of your team had to arrange a meeting with Bang discussing the relationship between you and Hueningkai. Keeping it a secret would have been the better option, but knowing Hyuka, he’d still show you off to everyone even if being scolded to keep quiet about it for hours on end.

Bang said he ‘had a hunch’ from the first interview, not showing any objection, but naming the risks and controversies that would come with the publicity of your romance. You two were too lovestruck to care about public opinions, but you still were wary of your interactions with each other, Hueningkai especially, knowing that getting into a scandal only involving himself would bring the group down with him.

You two were content with the way things were, but Hyuka tended to have the mindset of, ‘if it happens, it happens’ despite being so cautious, and you’re sure the staff members at Music Bank saw the two of you being intimate in the halls because your boyfriend just had to kiss your forehead at that time, no sooner or later.

Rumors started to arise, given how close the two of you had become. You were always close, but this time you were much closer. There were a lot of behind the scenes cameras at music shows, sometimes catching the two of you in the background together. Once you were even caught with Hyuka taking a nap on your thighs, and that only further proved the existence of the two of you dating.

The one time you decide not to wear a mask and just your hat, paparazzi caught the two of you holding hands on the way back, those gossip articles really planting all previous evidence as if their life was on the line.

Both of you never confirmed anything to the public. You simply just moved on with your lives as if nothing ever happened. It was brought up in a few interviews, but you managed to avoid answering questions on terms of your relationship, using the excuse of privacy.

It was surprising to everyone when they saw a video uploaded on TXT’s channel titled something along the lines of: ‘Hueningkai’s first date’, you couldn’t remember it off the top of your head. But you did vividly remember officially stating that the two of you were going out, and have been going out for a while.

The feedback was, as far as you knew, positive. Being dubbed as ‘the duo we’ve been waiting for’ or ‘netizens’ favourite couple’, you mostly appreciated the fact that you didn’t receive any threats, and only a loss of some fans. Maybe people just couldn’t handle the fact that you two looked so damn good together.

“What are you watching?” Hueningkai asks from the kitchen, seeing you staring at your phone intensely. “Your interview. You’re throwing away your plushies? But I got you one.”

“I’m keeping yours, of course. I’m getting rid of my hoarding habits, so I don’t really want anymore as gifts. Yours will always have a special place in my heart, and I’m never gonna get rid of it.”

“Can I at least keep one?” He considers it for a moment, then nods. “Sure. Which?” You don’t even have to think about it. “Honey.”

“Really?”

“You let me hold him when you invited me here so I could cry and rant after that shitty interview. So that one will also have a special place in my heart. It was also the first one you offered to me. Maybe when I’m alone and I have it in my arms I’ll think of you.”

“You can have him, since he means that much to you.” The sink turns off, shaking the water off his hands and drying them, going to his room and retrieving his, well, now your stuffed animal. The moment you hold it, your thoughts are flooded with nothing but of Hueningkai, despite the fact he took a seat right next to you, placing an arm around your shoulders.

“Jesus, you look fuckin’ sexy in these photos.” You say, zooming in and saving them to your camera roll shamelessly. “Speak for yourself. Front cover on Vogue? You looked so beautiful in those photos. I’m so incredibly lucky.”

You put your phone down, turning to hear his answer. “How so?”

“That you’re my girlfriend. That I get to be your boyfriend. That I get to see your beautiful face every single day, and that I know little things about you that others don’t.”

You chuckle. “I want to kiss you so bad, but the others are gonna come back soon and God knows we won’t be able to stop.” His hand gracefully holds your jaw, his finger tracing along your jawline to let himself move his face closer to yours. He speaks in a whisper.

“Then don’t.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

if you’re really, really tired, i want to hug you and pat you to sleep. i just miss you, even right now. 🎧

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