#and tbh im five days in and its......fun at times

[chernozemm]

a bit belated TDOV post but i woke up to @mrghostrat's lovely one so i guess we are being trans and visible on this fine april 1st (this is not a prank and there are no jumpscares under the cut. you are safe on my blog):

i think this year might be the 10th since i realised im trans. it didn't happen overnight, but it did start with me foraying into drawing steve rogers trans, all the way back on tumblr. its easier to offload your own feelings and ive always been exceptionally adept at sublimating my needs into art.

after a five year hiatus, the good omens got the special chernozemm treatment of me transing everyone's gender. and by god, its so fun and i get to pour all my love into my art. it has always been a love letter to the human body. but, as my lovely therapist pointed out, its kind of time to start bridging the fantasy world with the real one and apply some of that love to my very real, very mine body. its all fun to experience my gender through crowley's shenanigans, but the level of disconnect i feel when i look in the mirror cannot be healthy in the long run.

always getting ahead of myself, aren't i. i'm nonbinary/genderfluid in the way a trickster god is genderfluid. whatever is the funniest at the moment. i haven't transitioned, neither physically nor socially, mostly because my gender fluctuates way too much. but tbh, the first five years i had no access to the resources or the safety, and in the last five ive had to mostly think how to pay my next rent and tick off the super easy task of finding a good reason to want to live. (disclaimer, it actually had very little to do with dysphoria. i just got hit hardcore with the gifted kid to "failure" pipeline)

im luckily in a much better place now, and i must thank @t-he-art-of-beauty for the talk on what options i might have available. the current plan is to get on T for 1-2 years and once i get the changes i want, wean off it. but let's see what the future holds for me.

for now, im focusing on Hitting The Gym to get that soft-strong aesthetic i favour so much in my art, and mostly, just treat my body with love. i am no trickster god, i am no shapeshifter, i am but a girl (gn) who is loved and is lucky enough to have cultivated a supportive and loving online community <3 you breathe life into me.

special shout out to my delightful gf who has been my support and partner in crime for 6 lovely years and who loves me double on days i dont love myself.

#trans day of visibility #tdov #myart

[mediumgayitalian]

fic rec friday 8

hi!! welcome to fic rec friday. every week, i pick five fics i have bookmarked and rec them with a little review. check them out!

After The War I Went Back To New York by @buoyantsaturn

now that everyone else has written their three-days fics heres mine

first of all -- hamilton title. giggle was giggled. second of all, will being soft on nico day ONE and nico noticing immediately is so so real. fave solangelo dynamic of all time. this is lichrally one of my top five three days fics bc its such a CLASSIC

2. Bones by @buoyantsaturn

“Did you just throw a handful of bones outside?” she asked carefully. “Yes,” Will answered immediately. “Why was there a pile of bones in here in the first place?”

will being super excited over nico's powers >>>>>> literally EVERYTHING else bc he is a huge massive nerd!!! and will's powers are SO SO SO cool!! and theyre basically the same coin anyway. what is necromancy if not healing magic but goth

3. Sunshine and Daisies by @buoyantsaturn

Whenever Will needed a break from studying, or had spare time between classes, he liked to walk around the city, wandering into random shops and looking around for a little while.

Will wanders into the di Angelo siblings' flower shop.

flower shop fics have a little je ne sais quoi, and oumph, if you will,,, they’re irresistible. also. ALIVE BIANCA???? its nearly impossible to do in canonverse but in au....i do adore. she does indeed deserve to be around to tease the shit out of her dweeb brother. it is ever so lovely to see.

4. Two Minutes for Hooking by @buoyantsaturn

He blinked his eyes open, glaring up at Will. “Who the hell are you?” “I’m the medic you’ve been avoiding every practice,” Will answered. “Who the hell are you?”

I LOVE THIS AU. i think its my fave buoyantsaturn fic tbh. like not to reinforce canadian stereotypes or anything but hockey aus are the BOMB, and short king hockey player nico x absolutely takes no shit will??? immaculate vibes. i adore. i adore so so much. i have literally read this series so often that im reasonably certain i could recite the first 500 words from memory

5. Hey There, Darlin' by @buoyantsaturn

Will was pretty, and Nico was angry about it. He knew he shouldn’t have come here. He knew he should’ve just gone back to his cabin and stayed there until breakfast the next day, but no. He saw a cute boy and had to go after him. Of course he did. And then Will had to act like Nico was some kind of savior during the wars, and he smiled at him. That smile alone was enough to make Nico realize that this trip was a mistake.

first of all -- #everything is the same except will is the epitome and they dont meet until now is THEE most intriguing tag maybe ever, i needed to read no more. second of all -- whipped nico. god hes my favourite. third of all the big house scene made me GIGGLE it was so fun and silly. adore.

thank you for joining me this friday!! happy reading!!

#this turned out to be an ode to buoyantsaturn i didnt mean for it to be #that was just what came up in my bookmarks #but me from three years ago was so so correct. cj ily ur the absolute coolest #pjo #percy jackson and the olympians #hoo #heroes of olympus #pjo hoo toa #solangelo #nico di angelo #will solace #nico di angelo/will solace #nico/will #will/nico #hockey player nico #flower shop au #fic rec #fic rec friday #longpost #NOT LATE BY ONE MINUTE HUZZAH

[br1ghtestlight]

they're wearing their raincoats so for me this is already a 10/10 episode. love when they wear their raincoats!!

not big bob and tina going on the toddler rides at amusement parks together. LESS THRILL MORE CHILL. truly two autistic peas in a pod <3

big bob is seventy five (at least according to louise) this is important lore. also this means bob's dad is the same age as his gayass old man landlord who flirts with him every other day FJDMDJDKSMS according to my caculations big bob would've been 29ish when he had bob which means he met lily when they were in their early twenties. that also means (assuming that lily was the same age as big bob) lily would have been around 43 when she died although the math doesn't add up 100% if you consider her being born in 1941 because it would mean this episode takes place in 2016 which it doesn't. am i overthinking this one-off line where louise guestimates big bob's age??? yes i am thank you VERY MUCH.

LMAOO NOT THE BIG BOB REPUBLICAN DOOMER ARC OH NOOO

big bob making conversation while spending the day with his very young grandchildren: so have you considered that the world is terrible and people are awful and we should all kill ourselves? thoughts?

(im sure that isn't what bob meant its just funny to imagine big bob depression posting circa 2013 tumblr @ his grandkids all day)

ALSO this implies bob has been talking to big bob more regularly lately which is great. they're working on their relationship. a little bit :)

BIG BOB FOR REAL BEING A QANON TRUTHER EXCUSE ME???? THE FUCK. ohh he's literally a doomer he's watching videos about the upcoming apocolypse and how to ration food. HE'S A CLIMATE CHANGR DOOMER ITS SO OVERR im sorry thats so funny im obsessed w/ him

also our first time ever seeing (what im assuming is) bob's childhood home!! very cute. and he made them cookies

BIG BOB COMING TO VISIT BOB AT HIS RESTAURANT???? HUGE WIN???

why is big bob calling bob randomly to talk about how the world is ending and tigers are going extinct what is GOING on. at least he believes in climate change??

"like he's getting ready to..... leave the party. so he doesn't feel bad about telling everyone how much the party stinks" DONT TALK ABOUT HIM LIKE THAT if there's an episode where big bob dies its over for me. like its done <- there won't be but i would be very very sad IF THERE WAS. to be fair we gotta kill off linda's parents too though

aww they're texting regularly <3 i like how you can ALREADY see how much bob and big bob's relationship has improved since the start of the show where bob Literally thought his dad hated him and that he was a disappointment. see what actual open communication can do for you!! im happy bob has at least one parent he can talk to kinda sorta? HE SHARES HELPFUL TIPS SO THAT BOB CAN SAVE HIS FAMILIES LIFE HES TRYING TO HELPP :(

"and today its just gonna be him. and them. and the giant cloud of darkness that follows him wherever he goes" funnily enough thats also what people say when talking about me :3

GRANDPA HUG!!!!!!!

"pop pop how much cotton candy is TOO MUCH cotton candy" "i dont know. three??"

LMAO FOR SOME REASON THAT REMINDS ME OF THIS FUCKIGN QUOTE. big bob when gene comes out to him as genderfluid like

wharf day with pop-pop!!! wharf day with pop-pop!!!!!

grandpa needs a little bench time. im ALWAYS saying this tbh

"don't get any tattoos that your parents can see" FUN GRANDPA he's definitely a better grandpa than he is a dad bcuz he was not doing this shit w/ bob when he was young i can tell you that much

OMG I LOVE TEDDYS RAINJACKET?? sorry i live in a rainforest its my god given right to comment on people's rainy day fashion. its like my one job

"i need to ask you guys A HUGE favor. can you try to take a good picture of me" teddy u are literally always hot this shouldn't be a problem. you're DRIPPING sex appeal. except this is for a handyman website so maybe less sexy?ANY PICTURE I TRY TO TAKE OF MYSELF I LOOK LIKE A MURDERER FJFMDNFJDKDNDJXHXH

louise shows up whenever she goes and figured out the best way to Cause Problems and i respect that about her. that takes real talent and dedication

one thing about the belcher kids they WILL end up locked inside a fortune telling clam in wonder wharf

he's sooo baby

everything is so okay bob dont even WORRY. big bob is asleep on a bench and the kids are stuck inside a giant clam they've done more dangerous stuff like twice this week already. at least they're inside??

"its fun when your dad shows up to. check on your grandpa"

ITS SO EASY FOR YOU BOB WITH YOUR CHARMING LOVEABLE FACE

do you not trust me with the kids :( noo big bob they literally (kinda) trusted GAYLE with the kids for AN ENTIRE WEEKEND u cant be worse than her at taking care of them. she was making them do some shit that Kids should not be doing. anyone remember the pretty paws

??? why was he just randomly like oohh we should win that gorilla for the kids. he loves them SO MUCH im gonna cry <3 he literally loves them and wants them to be happy. he SPOILS them. he's such a good grandpa and such a terrible dad lmfao

"are we being punished? for being helpful and delightful??"

if i was walking around an amusement park and i heard a robotic fortune telling clam SCREAMING for somebody to help it escape i would get the fuck outta there so fast sorry kids. you might be on your own w/ this one

i dont know why bob is acting like he doesn't lose the kids four times a week MINIMUM those mfs will run off anywhere if given half the chance. they live for the thrill

"we lose 'em and then we find them. that's our thing" ?? what did he mean by this

WHY ARE THEY LOOKING FOR "CUTE" TOOLS this subplot is so funny im kinda obsessed. mechanics for the girlies

HOW DO YOU MAKE A TAPE MEASURER LOOK SCARY........

teddy is scaring the hoes nooo. its okay teddy i would hire you maybe(??) well. yknow

IM A GENTLE PERSON :( teddy i will always be your biggest fan wtf he's literally so sweet. he wouldnt hurt a fly

silly <33

LMAO not louise just lying there and saying help us. help us. help us into the microphone she's so cute and SOOO over this whole situation

TEDDY IS HAPPIEST WHEN HE'S EATING BOB'S BURGERS THATS SO SWEET WTF

he's a good grandpa :(

SOMETIMES YOUR GRANDPA CAN BE A LITTLE DARK ABOUT LIFE AND NEGATIVE. YOU MEAN LIKE YOU LMAOO

if you keep saying stuff like that around your grandkids they're gonna believe you.... and then it might actually come true. so maybe don't say horrible stuff about the future to people who will have to live in that future </3

IM NOT ALWAYS WORRIED ABOUT THE FUTURE AND THATS **BECAUSE** OF MY GRANDKIDS what if i cry right now. he literally loves them so much he's such a good grandpa!!! wtf Anyone else thinking about amelia right now. the ending

AAWWW THIS EPISODE WAS SO CUTE IM OBSESSED WITH BIG BOB he was such a terrible father but he's the best grandpa and he loves these kids SO MUCH. genuinely. and im so happy that his relationship w/ bob is getting better and that they're on better terms. also the subplot with teddy was adorable i always love teddy and linda subplots. they're BESTIES. maaaybe my favorite episode from this season so far but honestly they've all been so great that there's like five different episodes competing for that spot. and we're still only eight episodes in!!! absolutely everything i wanted from an episode with big bob (even if lily wasn't mentioned. SAD!! oh well there are other episodes) and i loved learning more abt his relationship with his grandkids and that dynamic ^_^ <33

#txt #bob's burgers #episode review

[dballzposting]

okay my brain isn't fully turned on and I have more to say on this subject that won't come out of my brain rn but ive been thinking about this for days and i need to share

I think trunks is like. he watches culturally important films, or like cult classics, a lot bc he feels it is a good way to expand his worldview or like just become more cultured. but by and large he does not like them.

oh for sure there's some he enjoyed. And there's a few where he's like 'Well, I didn't enjoy it, but i definitely think it was a good film. Just not my thing.'

meanwhile goten does not seek them out at all. he could not care less. BUT if Trunks is watching one when Goten wants to hang out, he'll sit his ass down and watch! He's not passing up a free fancy people movie!

And almost every time he REALLY likes it. And after every single one he goes on for like 30 minutes about Themes and Symbolism before interrupting himself to see if trunks wants to go get milkshakes.

and then after they get shakes trunks has to spend the night thinking about it. Why does goten seem to Get things so easily? Why does understanding worldviews he doesn't necessarily agree with come so naturally to Goten, when Trunks is actively trying?

Why won't Goten stop asking to see the movie where a disembodied head bites a girl in the butt (Hausu)??? Why does he think that's so funny????????????

PART 2: (Copy & pasted just to keep it all in one place)

okay i think i figured out the rest of what i wanted to say re: goten and trunks cultural movie bonanza as an example it's not like goten knows what chiaroscuro is. but he DOES notice and enjoy how filmmakers use lighting to draw the eye to or away from stuff. He picks up on the little clues. and once he starts watching enough of a certain genre he likes noticing how so-and-so film stands against the others. it's like i spy to him. and he likes hearing what a film has to say, under its layers. trunks talks like that sometimes, when he's doing business stuff. it's all code. it's mental stimulation but Trunks is like UGH nobody has said anything for FIVE MINUTES can we PLEASE move the plot along. this is like a BUSINESS MEETING tbh. and it's not like he doesn't get the plot or, once he's taken a film class, the meaning of certain techniques. he just can't bring himself to care. AND THE MAN JUST WON'T LEARN HIS LESSON AND HE KEEPS WATCHING THESE DAMN FILMS. also Goten like. he doesn't know these movies. his parents don't fucking watch movies. i mean maybe chichi watches like. romance and martial arts movies probably. he probably likes to compare himself to crouching tiger hidden dragon. so he DOESN'T know what to expect!!! when trunks is like 'hey im gonna watch Citizen Kane or Vanishing Point or Deliverance' or whatever and goten says NEAT i would like to watch also and trunks is like 'I know. that's why i told you. come over around 4 okay' and so goten doesn't have any sort of knowledge of these movies! it's exciting!!! bc the movies he saw growing up were his moms movies about kissing and punching and then whatever trunks took him to see in theatres. so like action and comedy and some horror. so it's new! it's fun! even when he doesn't really like the movie he's like 'well im glad i got to experience this new thing with my best buddy Trunks' ALSO they watched Eraserhead once and goten sat there afterwards on the floor (he likes to sit on the floor) for like ten minutes chewing his lips before turning to trunks and saying something to the effect of 'Trunks. I'm worried about what kind of father you're going to be.' and trunks just sort of. sat there. and looked goten in the eyes for a while. bc he didn't have a response. okay i think i got it all out of my system thank you for your time (i have been making my way through my movie bucket list so this is very strongly on my mind)

TL;DR: Trunks watches classic and high-rated movies becasue he thinks that he's an intellectual / because he's interested in increasing his cultural/artistic literacy & expanding his worldview. But he doesn't really enjoy most of them. And it is Goten who actually is able to see through to the heart of the film, exercise deep empathy, and reap delight at the tactics of storytelling unique to the medium. He's like WOOOAH SO COOL & MEANINGFUL .. (offers a critical analysis perfectly, that is sensitive and insightful). And Trunks is like wtf .... (stays awake at night pondering his deficits.)

DBALLZ COMMENTARY:

I WANT TO BE GOTEN ...

From what I'm gathering he A.) Has the capacity to UNDERSTAND what he's seeing B.) Has the capacity to ANALYZE/INTERPRET what he's seeing C.) Has the heart to EXPERIENCE the movie in full and D.) Has the faculty to ARTICULATE/VERBALIZE what he's experiencing.

Goten no doubt is lacking a lot of cultural and artistic context, but he makes up for it with his observant eye, and then over time what he gathers from one movie transfers to the next and he's able to feel even more moved and offer even more insight ....

It's because his heart is open .. Trunks is trying too hard without realizing it. And you can't have an open heart when there is inner pain that you're not aware of. That's what I think about Trunks .... his trying to be someone he's not (a movie-savvy type of guy) is entirely self-removed without intending to be... He thinks it's self-improvement but really he's being entirely daft to what intrigues his mind and what would really facilitate his growth. And he can't be open-minded toward others if he can't be open-minded with himself.

But the format of movies I guess really works for Goten, they're not usually longer than two hours and they're faster paced than say a novel and they're colorful and they have a lot of movement and the mode of drama-deliverance is altogether captivating for him .... They can communicate a lot with a few small visual or auditory details and Goten is hip to just picking up on those, because he's genuinely engaged and enjoying himself.

But Trunks has elected to adopt this hobby on an intellectual principle. But all the rest of him is like ehhhh whatyever. He probably likes sitting and chilling and eating popcorn. But there's a lot he's not into. It's just not his medium. Just doesn't work for him

I also think that part of it is that Goten notices a lot of things just because they are new to him. Trunks has been watching movies his whole life. Menahwile Goten has been only watching the movies of LIFE ... The lighting of the sun and the pacing of the seasons <3 Also Ponyo

So the whole thing is new and he's like "WOOOOAH .. SO COOL HOW the camera was so high in that shot so that it made me feel tall..... really shows you how small the character feels..." And Trunks just like Didnt notice that

Also trunks just DOESNT CARE !!!! But he doesnt know that he doesnt care. SILLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I like this part regarding Goten: "He picks up on the little clues. and once he starts watching enough of a certain genre he likes noticing how so-and-so film stands against the others. it's like i spy to him. and he likes hearing what a film has to say, under its layers. trunks talks like that sometimes, when he's doing business stuff. it's all code. it's mental stimulation"

Thats such a way to put it .... Goten is being such a genius rn. He would liken it to the mysterious business-speech. IT'S ALL CODE. IT'S MENTAL STIMULATION.

I don't know any of these movies but I do agree that Goten would sit for 10 minutes and then say that to Trunks ... It's like him to assume that Trunks would be a father one day becasue that's just natural to him that's just life.

When this all started I think that Trunks was like "You sure you wanna watch this with me? It's not like Kung-Fu Panda or anything."

And Goten said "Are you kidding? I LOVE your movies. They're like delicate poetry being told through the form of telenovelas."

Becasue the only life-action TV Goten had been exposed to before was his mother's telenovelas.

I don't really agree with this next part but it's obligatory.

Goten would pick up that Trunks isn't enjoying the movies as much as Goten is, before Trunks even gives proper acknowledgment to his boredom. Trunks just keeps watching them and Goten respects that and doesn't think about it much, but eventually it must be pointed out that hey, Trunks isn't getting as much out of these as Goten is.

Maybe he keeps inviting Goten over so that Goten can tell him what the movie is about. That would make sense. But really I think that Trunks just likes to chill out with him.

But the way that Goten woiuld crunch the numbers in his head (if he's ever removed enough from the movie to ponder) (maybe during a pee break or something) is "He doesnt like the movies. He keeps watching the movies. He keeps inviting me to watch the movies. He doesnt like the movies. But he always invites me. Why do people watch movies with somebody if they don't like the movies? As an excuse to be with them. He just wants to hang out with me."

But he would take it too far and he would fall on the couch next to Trunks and start kissing on him sweetly and when Trunks goes like WHAT Goten says "you dont even like the movies. You just want to hang out with me and eat popcorn."

And the most self-awareness that Trunks had exercised about this whole thing was when he was wondering why he sucked such shit at watching movies compared to Goten. He never really thought about WHY he was doing this to begin with. And so he's doing some hard calculations in his head meanwhile Goten nuzzles him like a pigeon

#dballz posting #dballz asks #goten & trunkz

[keii-starz]

answer any or all I wanna know more about you 👁️👁️

Do you have freckles? 

 Do you drink tea or coffee? How do you take it? 

What was the last song you listened to? 

Do you sleep on your back, stomach or side? 

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? 

Do you prefer drawing or writing? 

What’s your ideal number of blankets to sleep with? 

What’s your favorite band/artist? 

When is your birthday? 

How tall are you? 

What color are your eyes? 

Who are five (or more) people you want to hug right now? 

Fears? 

What’s your favorite color? 

What’s your favorite season? 

Want any tattoos? What of? 

Want any piercings? Where? 

Who is the last person you texted? 

Do you have a best friend? How long have you been friends? 

What/who do you miss? 

How was your day today? 

How much sleep did you get last night? 

Do you believe in aliens? 

When was the last time you cried? Why? 

What’s your favorite decade? 

What are some seemingly childish things you like? 

What’s your favorite book? Or just one you’ve read a few times? 

How are you, really? 

Does it take you a long time to make decisions? 

What are you looking forward to in the near future? 

What are you looking forward to in the distant future? 

If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go? 

Do you sleep with your door open or closed? 

What’s your favorite flower? 

Do you currently have a squish? 

Do you like your middle name? 

Do you prefer dogs or cats? 

Do you have any phobias? 

Do you stay up late?

Do you like the beach? Do you prefer it sunny or cloudy? 

What’s your favorite cartoon? 

Tag 5 of your favorite blogs

Do you have siblings? How many? 

Who was the last person you said “I love you” to? 

Is there anyone you would die for? 

What do you need when you’re sad? 

Have you memorized your phone number? 

Who’s someone you can trust with your life? 

What does your last text say? 

Wild Card. Any question, ask away. 

1. I wish (no) 😔

2. I drink both!!! but I don't drink coffee that often, and when I do, it's only if it has milk and sugar in it! when I drink tea, I usually drink milk tea, or I add milk to my matcha tea, but sometimes I just drink regular tea!

3. DAYDREAM by HIGHLIGHT!!!

4. I sleep on my back, but I actually prefer sleeping on my side!! I just dont sleep on my side most of the time because I sleep with headphones on, and its kinda uncomfortable sleeping on my side with headphones on

5. yes!! my little teddy bear that I got from my bestie!!! I named him lucy

6. hmm I love both a lot, but I'd say drawing!

7. ummm it doesn't really matter for me but I'll say teo because of my blanket I've had since childhood (its too small to cover me now so ofc I have to use another blanket)

8. hmm for band, it'd be LUCY!!! (K-band) I think the violin in their music makes their songs sound even nicer! but my fav part is obv sangyeop's soft voice :3

but for artists in general...hmm there's quite a few, so I'll name them by language! 1. CRAVITY (korean boy group), ZICO (korean soloist, k-hiphop), COLDE (korean soloist, k-r&b), 2. yoh kamiyama (japanese), TUYU (japanese band), 3. jeremy zucker, suggi (english)

9. february 11!

14. sage green!!

15. autumn! not too cold or hot, and not as much bugs!

19. I do! we've been friends since 4th grade!

21. it was great!!! I had so much fun and got to eat a lot of good food!!

24. sometime last week, I think tuesday..I think it had smth to do with my insecurities or like. how I keep getting the feeling I'm not wanted

28. my mental and physical states both suck a ton, but since I've returned home for spring break, im trying to convince myself to not worry about anything and just think of this as a lil vacation just until this is over

31. im definitely looking forward to moving out of my mom's house or just not staying with my family in general...I want to get an apartment where I feel relaxed at when I turn into an adult

32. if I could go anywhere right now...I would probably go to my aunt's house in florida..tbh, I wouldn't say her cooking's (sorry auntie 😔) the best, but I'd probably feel way...calmer? there and less likely to cry so often

34. my favorite flower is the star of bethlehem!!! it's really really pretty!!! im pretty sure it's a poisonous flower tho lol

39. all the time 😊

42. I prefer cloudy days! sunny days are nice, but I don't like getting the sun in my eyes very much, plus the sky is prettier with clouds :3

44. 5 of my fav blogs: @azulashengrottospiano @dove-da-birb @twistwonderlanddevotee @alexisomnias @l7k-a

45. I have 2 siblings! an older brother and younger sister, who is the youngest, but if I didn't tell u this and you met us both irl, you'd probably think shes the older one based on height and personality lol

47. I would die for any of my friends in a heartbeat

48. music!!! I CANNOT go without my music I tell u!!!

49. nope!!! you see, my phone doesn't tell me my phone number, so I always have to ask other people what it is 😐 (my other phone did tho)

50. uhhh hmmm this one is really hard bcuz I don't think I know anyone irl who I can trust with my life but probably...no one..?

#keianswersasks!❥ ҉ #cas <3 🦈 #I was going to answer it in the morning but I got caught up with a lot of things so im answering this at night 😔

[jovenshires]

💛Smoshblr December Asks Final Day💙

We‘ve done it! We’ve finally reached the end of this lil ask game and also the end of 2023! 🥳 Thank you so much for joining in on this, I truly appreciate it so much 🫶! I wish you a wonderful start into the new year and that all your hopes and dreams for 2024 will come true! ✨💞

But, since the year isn’t quite over yet, I thought this might be a nice time to reminisce a little bit. Therefore, the final question of the Smoshblr December Asks Game:

What are your favourite smosh-related memories of 2023? 💖

(no specific amount required for this one; and you can ofc also include older smosh memories, if you want to 🤗)

oh my god........ im emotional fr. this was so, so, SO much fun and stella, i will speak for EVERYONE you sent these asks to when i say that we are all so grateful to YOU for organizing it. you brought the community together in such an amazing way, asking us thought-provoking and interesting questions, a lot of which i never would have thought to ask. and yet i got to learn all my mutuals' answers anyway!!! it made me feel like i really got to know everyone, even the people im too scared to start a convo with bc i am a Coward. i love you, we all adore you, thank you SO much, and i cant wait to see where smoshblr goes in the new year now that we are all closer than ever <3<3<3<3<3

okay so...... okay okay okay okay HERE we go. im gonna put it under the cut bc this got SO long but if you want a tl;dr summary, please by all means go check out this video i made at the beginning of the month bc. it sums it up tbh.

making all of my amazing friends: i am literally. an emotional wreck just thinking ab this. anyway. i've already been sappy enough this year (from my christmas presents to my many many personal posts and asks that are just. me talking about how much i love these people), but i would still be remiss if i didn't mention my beautiful, wonderful friends. im not gonna tag them all here - it'd be too many and you all know who you are <3<3<3 - but to everyone i've dmed for hours on end, or talked to in replies, or mutuals i've never even spoken to at all, or anons who come into my askbox and just have the most wonderful interactions with me, i am so, so eternally grateful. i made new friends; i reconnected with one of my best friends in the WHOLE world; i met some people who i never would have spoken to otherwise and found such an incredible community. i love you all so so SO much (yes ALL of you even if you think im not talking ab you if you're reading this i AM), and i am so excited to see what happens with all of us next. love you all. mwah. <3

domo day/my birthday: oh my god. OHHHH my god. literally the fic that brought me back to this fandom. i am not crying its fine im FINE. domo - aka dancing on my own - was a passion project from the very start. i thought, 'well, no one will wanna read this niche lil fic that im writing just to deal with My very personal trauma about an rpf ship that no one cares about.' (mind you i started it before i even posted right side, so, like, i literally thought it was just me standing on a deserted island.) and then five or six months later... there we were. i posted it on my birthday (bc i Live for drama !) and god. the amount of love and support i got that day was... everything to me. when i said this was a passion project, i mean that it was truly one of the first things i sat down and wrote For Myself, without giving a fuck what anyone else would think. it was something i poured my heart and soul into because i needed to read it. and when other people started to reach out - telling me how much they related, how much they got from it, how much it meant to them. then there was the analyses of it from everyone,,,, not to mention the birthday love. my birthday is a HUGE thing for me, and, as i told you at the time, you were the very first person to wish me a happy birthday stella (with that incredible moodboard that i think of frequently........ the rat.........). and then kit went and published bad idea and gifted it to ME which was such an incredible and treasured gesture and... truly some of my irls forgot to wish me a happy birthday so. im just so honored and i love you all so much. thank you for loving me and my dearest darling daughter domo <333333

shaynse day: this literally isn't even about me, it's honestly about nat, but this changed my brain chemistry and i think everybody's tbh. it was the way that the MOMENT the love is blind video dropped, we all gathered around my blog to hold hands, sing kumbaya, and all hail the shaynse anon (aka now shaynse founder nat). they had their third eye OPEN. and everyone had to come check on them to make sure they were okay. that meant so much to me. not only did it mean that enough people were reading my blog that an anon had their own niche subset of a fan base, but it was truly like. one of the best displays of fandom togetherness i've ever seen. we were all so united that day. god bless november 19th, aka shaynse day, my FAVORITE national holiday.

gedits: i really Dont think i have to explain this one. this is one of my favorite bits (but also its not really a bit and i genuinely wanna fuck that old man). making thirst traps for garrett? oh my god. stroke of actual genius. once again another day we all came together, held hands, and decided we were ALL gonna be garrett fuckers. long live gedits. they will never stop and im NOT sorry about it.

the bsf fan art: i have literally never had fan art made for my fic before...... i screamed and cried and threw up when someone made fan art for the bed-sharing fic. furry-jackson is my hero and this fan art lives in my mind RENT FUCKING FREE. it truly imprinted itself on my brain and i think about it all the time. thanks so much to them for loving i could be the reason as much as i do <3333

the top ten dynamics poll: !!!!! my baby!!!! i truly thank you all so much for indulging me by voting in that silly lil poll. it was so SO interesting to see the way the dynamics stacked up. not to mention, it also got me into gif-making again!! that was the first time i'd made gifs in ages, especially gifs i was proud of. but i love that silly lil gif series so much, one of my favorite projects of the year, so thank you all <3

smoshblr december asks: i mean. i said it all up top, but it's worth mentioning again. this was so, so, SO much fun, and it must have been such hard work for you, and i am honored that you did all this work for US of all people when you are so busy and talented and working so hard just in like. YOUR LIFE. honestly, this whole section could just be called 'stella,' bc i am so, so grateful for you especially coming into my life this year. whether we're working together on fic or just chatting about our lives or shouting back and forth about why EVERY taylor swift song is in fact a spommy song, i am just so lucky to have you and i love you so, so much. you always tolerate my shenanigans and i am SO incredibly lucky to have you as a friend. anyway. yeah i love you and smoshblr december asks so there.

#smoshblr december asks #stella #ask #asks #wallpaper inside my heart

[actuallyitsstar]

oh my god tumblr is not a functional website and it ate my next two drafted asks so prepare to get tagged in textposts but @brambleberrycottage sent The Mentalist and/or Person of Interest for the fandom ask game:

✨ send me a fandom and i'll answer with the following!

for person of interest:

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most)

↣ very tough choice but i am gonna have to go with shaw for this one. my second choice probably would be reese tho- but i have to go by what ao3 tags i filter the most 😭

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

↣ BEAR THE DOG.....OBVIOUSLY....... akjdhdjfhf but for real it is probably finch. finch rly is So Shaped to me. i do not want anything bad to happen to him Ever. Protect At All Costs

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

↣ FUSCO. FUSCO IS SUCH AN UNDERRATED FAVE. theres like 10 fics out there about my man fusco and ive reread all of them 100 times aldjfkfhjfgjgj this man just shows up to work every day and tries his best and he gets dragged into some of the craziest world-altering conspiracies known to man and for what ??? he just wants to come home to his son every day. but he cares about people and his friends and the world his son grows up IN, and thats why he sticks by the others no matter what he gets put thru. also he is just very funny and relatable at times akdhdjfhf

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

↣ harper!!! very much obscure but she has a cute lil arc that feels Meaningful and has such a fun energy and she has such an ~ outcome ~ (i will not spoil in case anyone who has not seen this show is thinking of seeing it) and tbh i want to learn everything about her

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

↣ elias. he is very problematic. very controversial. horrible villain crimelord etc etc. but isnt it interesting how this show plays with morality? how much nuance there is? how you slowly learn that finch is right- that there are no heroes or villains, just people doing the best they can??? elias is a terrible person that you would never want to meet in real life but hes MY terrible person you would never want to meet in real life.

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

↣ this is reese hands down. sorry not sorry to the traumatized man but i do kind of enjoy you getting more traumatized

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)

↣ i guess john greer ???? im not sorry, forget everything i said about nuance hes a villain akdhfdjkfhfj he is the worst im joking but if i have to pick anyone its him

for the mentalist:

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most)

↣ its jane. of course its jane. what we have learned about me is i am always stanning traumatized over confident (often middle aged middle aged) men in problematic career paths with emotional issues 😭 its embarrassing how consistent i rly am tbh lmao. but HES SO INTERESTING. HES SO TRAGIC. HES SO MULTIFACETED. i could probably write 600 dissertations about him

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

↣ lisbon is my girl i love her so much i will not take any notes on this she is MY five foot nothing cop with anger management issues and i WOULD die for her. shes probably my height irl but she is !!!! small. i love her

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

↣ cho is so underrated !!!!! he is there from start to finish and he gets his own arcs and his own story and he's level-headed and in charge but he's not emotionless and he's not perfect, he's very good at what he does but he makes mistakes too and he's mature enough to own up to them. his realism and commitment is bracing and reliable and brings such a steady element to the show. couldnt do it without him!!

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

↣ she's really not even on screen for more than like 0.1 seconds of flashback but !!! ANGELA JANE. i know we don't get to know much in the way of cannonical characterization but i have read a lot of fics about her. i think the most influential has to be boy wonder, which is a wonderful how-angela-and-young-patrick-met fic unfortunately trapped on the horrible formatting of fanfiction dot net, but every time i think of angela i think of this fic and it very deeply informed my love for her character.

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

↣ probably laroche. deeply weird man but he just wanted to go home to his little figurines and his fluffy dog. what more could he ask for. very creepy vibe but he did his job well and he came around in the end. i would love to know what sort of life made this man happen. i think about the iconic theater episode with him every day.

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

↣ aaaaa once again its jane im so sorry sir i just find your trauma entertaining !!!!!

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)

↣ probably bertram because i just think he was way scarier than the sherriff sorry sljfkfjfjg

#star unasks #personal #brambleberrycottage #so sorry i literally drafted my reply and tumblr said oopsie doopsie idk where that is !!!! and it disappeared lol #i love this website and how well it Works #the mentalist #person of interest

[aardvaark]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers :)

hi again! hope you’re having a wonderful day.

walking around lakes, wetlands, or bushland (australian equivalent of… woodland, i guess? natural spaces? for the non-australians). i like hanging out by a nearby wetland that has some walking paths & just reading as i walk around, or sitting by a lake and listening to music. sometimes it’s nice just to watch birds or fish or turtles etc quietly, no music no books just existing.

reading. i even go to a book club with a lot of retired older women at a local library. support your local libraries, people! side note: retired older women really, really like psychological thriller-y murder mysteries. did not see that coming tbh - but i like it!

analysing books, tv shows & movies. most people hated english classes but that was where i thrived lol, i write mini essays or take notes for fun sometimes (and i don’t just mean the little ‘metas’ that i post here - i have pages and pages of brainstorms about the themes of books ive read. i find it extremely interesting & fun tho i know its weird to basically have homework as a hobby lmao).

rewatching comfort shows. certain eps of leverage & bones are particularly nice. i like the haunting of hill house too, which might not sound comforting lol but i really like the themes & sometimes the horror is a good way to distract you from real life horrors lmao. and then community, which is just very funny. and of course pushing daisies… most comforting comfort show of all time. nothing beats that.

going to a library or café just to do my study somewhere else. im in uni at the moment and i find that u study better when i’m not cooped up in my room.

and that’s five! thanks for asking :)

#wren speaks #werewolfsmile #ask #asks

[bropunzeling]

For the writer asks, how about 8, 10, and 22?

8 if you had to write a sequel to a fic, you’d write one for…

ok i did think of another answer to this and while im quite satisfied with it how it ended and think it stands on its own, i DO think a sequel to the first law of motion where everything comes to a head (aka leon finally deciding he has to stop sleeping with matthew) and feelings must be reckoned with and everyone is feeling raw and bad and experiencing ten revelations at once would be SO fun. because i love mess. and earning your happiness.

10. what is the longest amount of time you’ve let a draft rest before you finished it?

if we are interpreting as "draft done -> posting", probably a couple months? i think i finished the draft of meet me halfway in august and didn't post until october. however i DO feel like marriage bets is the actual answer, because i wrote the first three chapters or so in may/june of 2022 and then just totally abandoned it for months and months until suddenly in december of that year i was like wait.... there's good shit here.... i can fix this.... and then i wrote the other 70k in a four month fever dream.

22. do you ever worry about public reaction to what you’re writing? how do you get past that?

i try not to? i mean, there are times where im working on something and go like oh, this is not what the fandom at large is interested in as a concept/trope interpretation/etc, and i think it's an inescapable part of the human condition to worry about what other people will think, but i have to remind myself that that kind of stuff won't drive the good kind of creativity, where im making something that pings MY brain cells instead of writing to trend. i'd also say i'm relatively checked out of broader fandom trends because i often don't read very widely in-fandom while working on a big project haha, but i know that's not a solution for everyone.

i think to get over that feeling of "what will people think" you have to narrow your circle of whose opinions you care about tbh. like, i can't write just for me (i wish! but that's not how im wired) but like, i have a solid group of friends i can take my ideas and drafts to and be like, talk to me about this please! and they do! and im so grateful! i have my people who care so so deeply and that helps immensely. so like, even for the stuff that is relatively less popular (like girl!leon), or that i DID worry about the reception (like omega matthew), i knew i had five to seven people who WOULD be super into it. idk write for yourself, and write for your friends, and try to find the things that make you excited, rather than what fandom is really into these days. idk!

#ask meme #sorry for the rambling answer!

[hex82141a]

It's been a few days, but if I'm still not too late for the artist asks, how about 2, 9 and 20? C:

you are never too late o7 thank u for the ask!

2. How long have you been drawing?

a loooong time.... since kindergarten but id say i got more serious about it around 15-16 (

9. How much time do you spend drawing on an average day?

it fluctuates hard between "im not drawing at all today" and "well here goes my casual five hour art session ^-^". But ultimately when i do draw, i spend several hours on it 🤔

20. What is the easiest thing for you to draw?

Probably clothes tbh :0 Its also the most enjoyable part for me too hehe. Do i know what im doing with the folds? Not really, but im having fun :3c

[briswamnlava]

its officially my favorite time of the week ! music recap day !

ok so for artist this week, we have IDLES and title fight in the lead. checks out, i cannot listen to JUST one IDLES song. im a big big fun of mouth-full-of-peanut-butter-punk-british-accent, so basically theyre perfect. amazing instrumentals, super groovy and a song for any mood tbh. my favs are “meydei”, “colossus”, and “I’m scum”.

Title fight; you already know the deal. and if you don’t, look at any of my previous posts.

next up we got modern baseball and i hate sex. mobo, always here, near, and to my heart. if you wanna give them a listen i’ll recommend anything off of the the Perfect Cast EP, especially “alpha kappa fall of troy movie part deaux disc 2”. if youre looking for vibes and good guitar listen to “wedding singer”. if you want true sad midwest emo check out the entirety of the first album “sports” (notable tracks: “cooke”, “see ya sucker”. if you want good pop punk put on “youre gonna miss it all” (notable tracks: “old gospel choir”, “broken cash machine”). if you’re reflective and sad, sorry bro but if you listen to “holy ghost” it will get worse💚 (notable tracks: “breathing in stereo” [SUXH A GOOD FUCKING SONG ILL GO CRAZY], “just another face” [check out “how do i tell a girl i want to kiss her” from bren’s personal project on youtube]).

finally in the number five slot is Fugazi ! knew of them forever but finally gave them a full listen this week. a guy in my art class (thanks andrew), said that the vocals from title fight (i made him listen to them) sounded like them and i had to take a lil listen. I listened to the entirety of “13 songs” twice and enjoyed the whole thing. I dont have any notable tracks because i listened to then during my studio class. however if you liked anything ive posted before youll like them !

as for top tracks, theyre all kinda self explanatory.

finally, top albums according to Last.fm (also already explained above:

#modern baseball #music #title fight #midwest emo #post hardcore #mom jeans. #neck deep #fleshwater #movements #audioslave #i hate sex #idles band #fugazi #punk #pop punk #music recs

[abyssal-cryptid]

Even more Tears of the Kingdom thoughts (SPOILERS)

I cant figure out how long after Calamity this game is set. It's got to be at least some years, everyone else has changed but Link and Zelda

Link and Zelda have lived this time together in Link's house in Hateno <<33

Their Well holds Zelda's secret room

Also yes every well in this game has something so my favorite thing rn is just jumping into wells

Zelda had a school built to Hateno because she loves kids

I hate how so many people in this game who should know who Link is dont know him

You mean to tell Ive been living in Hateno for years and no one recognises me

Zelda is still referred to as princess which implies she hasnt allowed herself to be crowned queen

Ive spent like three hours just strolling in Hateno

I did get the camera and my enjoyment of the game has increased tenfold

HATENO TECH LAB HAS A RUINED GUARDIAN I REPEAT HATENO HAS A GUARDIAN REMAIN

Im so excited I missed seeing these everywhere

Purah's room has drawings of them and the divine beasts

You can just pick up the koroks who need to be reunited w their friends with ultrahand and carry them wherever they want to go. They also roll down hills

Me @ the forbidden ruins in Kakariko: "Let me in, let me innnn"

SIDON HAS A FIANCE

IM SO DISTRAUGHT

THEY SAW US SHIP LINK AND SIDON AND WENT "none of that here is his gf"

HUDSON HAS A DAUGHTER <<33

This game has cheese. I can die happy now

I am taking the elevator up every time I see a falling rock

Went to Akkala Citadel Ruins. Was looking at the views. SUDDENLY EVERYTHING GOES RED AND HANDS ARE CHASING ME WHAT THE FUCK

The way they dont let my boy have his long hair out on any fits is criminal. Could have tweaked the armor sets that much

Why is Zelda appearing everywhere and being an evil menace??? Zelda tf is going on w you?? Arent you supposed to be in the past

They looked at me, specifically, loving side quests more than my life and going "we have to give them more" and this is a good day

There's a golden horse???

Also I heard Yunobo is a dick in this??? Not my boy :(

I go to the Zora tower and there is a man nearly dead

ALSO OH MY GOD WHY DID ZELDA ATTACK KING DOREPHAN

Man was dying (Lets hope this doesnt age poorly because I dont think I could handle it)

So its been like five years at least since BOTW ended and like. Why does no one remember me and also where did all these new people come from that didnt exist here couple years ago?? Where were yall?? Having tea??

Kilton has a little brother <3

I should get back to the "first" main questline as in the Rito are dying in a blizzard but there's pretty flowers and mayoral elections

Did I already mention they did not nerf bows? They didnt and I love that, archers for life

Also I lost Hestu again and I need more inventory

I am afraid to venture into the Korok Forest

Stables are so fun. You get points from first visit, staying the night, registering horses etc AND THEY GIVE YOU REWARDS

I got the Traveler's Gear for General (my baby boy horse)

I found Big Horse and named him Babylon

Also saved this one guy stuck in a cave

Starting to get to a point where enemies drop 15-30 fuse power parts and life is getting easier

Ive activated like 20 shrines since I last did a bunch. I havent done them because what if I have to build vehicles (bad)

I miss cryonis

Havent done much in the sky tbh

I want my champions tunic. I however dont feel like going to the castle

Where the fuck is Ganondorf

I could always see him in BOTW I dont like this

I am kind of disappointed they didnt change the looks of old armor sets. HOWEVER. Cece's hat is all Im going to say. I wonder if I can wear that to Gerudo town

Im still a one shot to so many things

The Zora are dying (their water is turning into mud)

Gorons have malice pink eyes so dont trust theyre doing too well either

Barbarian armor fits so well with Link's messy long hair

Im still kind of shocked that the sheikah tech is just gone

How do I get into Hateno tech lab

Some of yall are actually building vehicles? Im avoiding that like the plague

Still salty about Sidon

I get taken for a little while and he gets engaged

His fiance did refer to Sidon as "my best friend"

The quote went "Im Prince Sidon's... oh forgive me. I am your best friend's fiancee"

She us cute but still

ALSO THEY MOVED MIPHA'S STATUE TO THE TOP OF PLOYMUS MOUNTAIN

THE ZORA'S DOMAIN STATUE IS NOW OF LINK AND SIDON

Why cant I marry him

Sidon carries Mipha's trident now (sobs)

When you meet him he goes "Its good to see you my friend" so happily

"By the way... I hope you know that I am truly happy to see you again after such a long time apart, my dearest friend"

I sobbed

He loves us so much

Just go visit him

Sidon wont marry me and Sonia and Rauru are married, cant a man find some love in Hyrule

#tears of the kingdom #legend of zelda #spoilers

[selamat-linting]

last night, a little homestuck before bed and :

-i dont think i can maintain the facade of composure or coherence anymore. this is five seconds before john find several people brutally slaughtered, including his own dad, and he himself get stabbed to death. look at him! look at how silly this child is. my zillyhoo son, its unfair theyre piling up all this shit to you.

-i get why rose went grimdark tbh. things are pretty bad out there. it fucks me up that she's like, taking over the suicide mission. and how awful it is that she'd gone off the deep end that she looked at her parents dead body and only think of killing. something i noticed between the two light players is that theyre always burdening themselves with the hard, difficult tasks alone even though the team wanted it to be done as a group effort. its commendable but not always a good thing.

-its pretty funny that the kids with shitty guardians' have a wildly contrasting reactions to their dead parents like

dave, at the beginning of story : my bro is the coolest guy ever

dave now : huh. he's dead. okay. time to use the sword lodged in his chest as a trampoline! sweet loot. i love not getting knifed in my apartment

rose, at the beginning of the story : my loathsome mother and her penchant for the devil's drink!!!!!

rose, now : i should've looked out for her *activates rage mode*

i mean, i suppose thats appropriate but. you know how it is. poor kids, they've been through a lot. did they even have a warm meal lately? also i think bro is kinda handsome and i understand his fascination with puppets. i too, read a tentacle dick spamton fic as a lark and becomes genuinely intrigued with it.

-i am in love, in love! with the format of clicking to a collage of pictures. There was just so much Shit going on and the banner have doc scratch home being burned down and snowman making out after smoking a bloodied pipe. and then jade hunting frogs with dave. it would have been adorable to see these kids finally meeting each other for the first time if the world wasnt going to do a hard reset.

-fuck it. an AU. kids being kids. no sburb no tragedy. theyre just online friends. jade's grandpa is alive, he took jade into civilization often so she's not undersocialized and knows how to function if she wants to live a normal life. and as a birthday gift he took all of her friends to the island as a surprise for her 13th birthday. they spend the day catching frogs and playing paintball. and then at night, rose and jade urge everyone to try lucid dreaming. none of them made it because theyre all too busy making fun of john's movie selection. dave is beatboxing over squiddles music. and then right in the middle of their playing, a ship crash landed to the island. it was the trolls.

-uhhghgghghhh i need to see. an animatic. of jade and dave's fight. with bec noir. look at all the moves theyre making it would have been one hell of a fight and we were robbed of a proper flash with boisterous music! space time vs omnipotence lets fucking go!

-speaking of vriska, wow she really is giving her all in these pages. her last stand with jack. the enemy she took part in creating. she knew she was going to die and done her best asking out literally everyone alive. and the best/worst thing is, everyone accepts. terezi literally came to her with all the rp outfit they used to do. and, i know i should be shocked but im just laughing at karkat showing up late with the sloppy makeout note. And she gave the cutest most adorable date proposal to john like, ugh its cute teenage puppy love! yes, i think they'd go well together. I dunno, maybe its my kimharry enjoyer heart speaking, but i think characters who'd done terrible violence should be with someone who only met them after they strived to be someone better, or at least a blank slate. that way, they get a fresh start and can focus on improving instead of getting distracted with hurt feelings and old wounds. also i am not burdening terezi, aradia, tavros, and all of the kids she personally maimed with All of That tbh. unless they want to ofc.

-anyways, here is the updated vriska relationship chart

matesprit -> still, the poster of nicholas cage in con air, or karkat if youre so inclined to imagine a world where she makes out with karkat before fighting terezi. gross lol.

moirallegiance -> john, full stop. her relationship with terezi needs some peace time before coming back into pale redrom

kismesis -> terezi. im FROTHING at the mouth thinking at the tragedy of their relationship. this is some intergenerational trauma shit, some wicked codependency junk, like the cuno and his buddy C. its the real shit fa- (okay i should stop speaking like cuno before i embarras myself)

-also. WHY WAS IT A JUST DEATH! im hitting the clock im destroying it with jack. fuck you fuck you so much. Doc scratch fix the clock so it gives me what i want or i'll burn your house! asshole!

-im curious about the sprites. i hope they find a way to be relevant again. i've always think theyre awesome and has more info that could have been beneficial for the kids.

-all in all, i give this homestuck liveread and overall rating of what the fuck what the fuck ohhhhh ohhh my fucking godd imma read this again motherfucker

#homestuck #homestuck liveread #homestuck liveblog #thank god i still have my drafts #i thought it was gone forever

[br1ghtestlight]

So, Im a huge Mr. fischoeder fan so wondering if you have any Hc regarding him,especially his younger days cause there is so much potential there with his father and his missing eye. Tysm!! I'm huge fan of your blog Btw!!

i love mr fischoeder he's so fun!!!! of course i have headcanons about him :)

he's at least five years older than felix and bcuz their parents were Not great at being parents he actually spent a lot of his childhood raising felix and basically being parentified and thats why his relationship with felix is so fucked up and toxic bcuz calvin treats him more like a child that he still has to take care of and felix feels like he's never been treated as an equal (bcuz calvin mentally cant see him as an equal) they probably need to go to therapy together tbh

in general their parents were not great parents and treated their children more like employees in training and they expected to be idolized and worshiped (which they very much were and still are) they had a few good family moments but overall it was a very unhealthy upbringing?? calvin and felix both decided they didnt want kids bcuz they knew that their parenting style would be very similar and they (probably subconciously) didnt want to destroy a child the way they were destroyed

felix took out calvin's eye when he was just a kid maybe like 11 or 12 bcuz they were having a stupid arguement, he felt HORRIBLE and so guilty but calvin was like whatever its fine lmao He generally is so chill considering how many times felix has tried to murder or physically attack him, i dont think he ever really gets angry at felix or holds grudges bcuz thats his baby brother :)

calvin has been in very few serious romantic relationships bcuz he finds it difficult to commit to another person or actually care about them also women usually date him for his money which he's fine with but it doesnt lead to a real emotional connection (his realtionship with bob is ironically stronger than any romantic relationship he's ever been in)

^^ felix is the same way but he's totally okay with being used for his money he doesnt give a fuck (he secretly longs for an actual emotional connection though)

calvin is not straight but obviously was never open about this bcuz of how homophobic society was when he was growing up, he's always going out and having sex with male strippers/sex workers and everybody in town kinda knows but they keep quiet bcuz thats his personal buisness, the only person he's ever openly discussed this with is felix and never in any serious depth (felix promised to not tell their dad even though he knew that if he did he would be more likely to inherent his family's money and tbat is a promise he did keep)

calvin is actually very into fashion he just doesnt have a lot of opportunities to show off his knowledge, if bobs burgers wasnt a cartoon he would probably wear different extravagant outfits every single episode

mother fischoeder died when calvin was in his early 20s and it was an early death and probably due to an illness of some kind, his father died much later in life maybe when calvin was in his 50s

calvin absolutely loves reality tv drama shows like the bachelor and gets super into them and has favorite contestants, he invites felix to watch with him sometimes and its a brother bonding activity that they both enjoy <3

calvin wanted to be a singer when he was younger (before he took over the family business) and he will take any opportunity to sing in front of a crowd

#FJDMDMDJDKDS THANK YOU FOR SAYING YOU LOVR MY BLOG BTW #its funny bcuz i literally just use this blog so i dont annoy twitter with my autistic bobs burgers rambling #i love that people follow me for that. god bless u #bob's burgers #ask #headcanons

[nutlessspeedrun]

i'm hoping to do some fun activities this week between Obligations :p but, what to choose, what to choose...

if you have any suggestions for what my training should look like, let me know! i might make a separate poll for it later, though ♡

right now, im thinking that:

anal training will involve spending time every day playing with my ass, using different toys and trying to work up to being able to get fucked in the ass

deepthroat training, trying to take a dildo into my throat for a little longer every day. hopefully, this'll mean i can get throat-fucked waaay easier!

bladder training is something ive worked on before, and it was SO fun. and, tbh, ive been super dehydrated lately lol. increasing my water intake, decreasing my bathroom breaks, and stretching my bladder to its limits - even if it means making a mess!

dick-riding training is basically an excuse to get stronger thighs and a thicker ass :p putting on a pair of cute heels and fucking myself for longer and longer stretches of time, until my legs give out into a shaky mess.

edging training would be an exercise in denial. slowly working up from one or two edges a day, up until im rubbing myself raw trying to edge myself to insanity!

multiple orgasm training is something i havent done before. i usually cant get off more than once in a row, buuut maybe ive just been too kind to myself. shifting from a ten minute break between orgasms to five, then two, then just continuing to stimulate myself from one orgasm to the next. and from there? seeing how many i can wring out in a row :p

#denial #long term denial #long term chastity #omorashi #pee holding #full bladder #bladder control #nsft #games #game

[perenlop]

Top five anime

oh god forgetting every anime ive ever watched

5. fullmetal alchemist brotherhood/2003 (very different shows ik but i can never decide which i like more). i really love the world presented in these shows, i love the themes of how human we all are at the end of the day. i love all the ways they play with science and real life alchemy, and all the interesting things that come from it... like how do you even come up with alphonse's entire ordeal? it's so unconventional and yet it's handled near perfectly and we get all the drama and situations that come from a boy being tied to a suit of armor.

4. death note. tbh i mostly agree with what everyone else says about the show, it's super engaging and it's fun to see the game of cat and mouse that L and Light play. both of them are super interesting characters and its fun trying to figure out their plans only to be thwarted. again, it's a non conventional idea, but death note embraces the fantasy aspects really well while being more focused on the corruption of light and him trying to keep himself from getting caught. sadly tho i do have to agree with a lot of people that the latter half of the show with nate isn't nearly as good. i like the stuff that happens like light's dad dying but i just kinda missed L the entire time

3. cowboy bebop. this is a show i might have to digest some more bc it does require more thinking, and i may have to rewatch it to fully appreciate it, but i really enjoyed it! space western is a genre i've never thought about, but it's a very natural combination and I think this show really captured that. I love it's main theme of living in the present, it's kind of unlike most shows i've seen. at first i didn't appreciate not having the backstory of most of the characters since they seemed so important to the episodes, but that's kind of the point. we don't NEED to know every little detail about their pasts. because the show is about the present and how they're coping in spite of their pasts. and it works because it's unfair how these people are still suffering for what happening in their past, even despite everything they've accomplished in the show. it's a very bittersweet show and i enjoyed it. also i love edward. baby

2. trigun (i havent finished it yet though). i can't say much abt the entire thing but i LOVE all of the characters a ton. i love vash himself the most, i love silly characters that are actually extremely genuine and tragic at their core. he's got one of the most compelling backstories i've seen so far and i'm excited to see how his arc concludes in the show. the other characters are also extremely good! i love meryl and milly a lot and how they're actually kind of more of a threat than vash, and how they have a vitriolic relationship with him but grow to genuinely care about him. wolfwood is also a good character to pair up with vash in a lot of episodes because he's got different ideals, and also the gun cross makes me laugh. idk i love the world and these characters and im excited to finish the show.

puella magi madoka magica. im aware that on its own, its probably not nearly as good as these other shows, but at this point the show means a lot to me. I've got a lot of good memories associated with it and its kinda helped me at a time i needed it. i love all five of the main characters a lot and each of the struggles they go through. it's another show where it's world is fully utilized in every way it needs to be for the story to work. i love all the psychological horror elements and how they're presented in an almost uncanny way. the art is beautiful and the witch labrynths are fully realized. this show is so good i can't emphasize enough how dear to me it is as this point

#honorable mention to way of the househusband though bc its very fun #and ofc pokemon is a massive honorable mention as well just bc like its integral to me at this point #but feels weird to put it besides these shows lol #mail #epiousios