#and so i've already experienced that

[write-it-motherfuckers]

Alright, I promised an update in the tags of the queued post a few days ago, so now that my internet is finally strong enough to let me create a new post from scratch, I'll actually do that.

Ultimately things ended up taking a really fucking weird turn again, and after speaking to the service company directly, we found out that the "service personnel" that had been here, weren't actually from their company despite toting their uniforms.

Unfortunately this isn't even the first time something like this has happened, so this information wasn't as hard to believe as you'd think. One of the nosy elderly men from down the street was even able to provide some photos he took of the "workers" and their van, which he had taken "just in case", which is a hell of a lot more than we could do last time.

On the positive end of things, the real service personnel showed up yesterday with just as foul an attitude as the fake ones had, and have apparently set to work undoing whatever was done to fuck up our internet access so badly. Though they have been significantly slowed by the presence of the police, who are treating the situation with about as much urgency as you would expect from someone being chased by a half blind snail, and really just seem to be enjoying getting in everyone's way.

All in all, shit's weird as per usual, but thankfully on the way to being fixed if my current internet status is anything to go by. (The real workers took one look at what had been done and just said "What the fuck!" which... isn't encouraging)

Either way, I wanted to thank you all so much for being so patient again Darling ones, I hope you can continue to bear with me for just a little bit longer 🖤

Stay safe Darlings 😘

#mod speaks #why weird shit like this keeps happening around here I have no idea. #I'm pretty sure this exact situation has happened with several small variations on multiple occasions already #just in the time I've had this blog. You'd think we would have come to expect this shit by now #but honestly whoever these weirdos are. they're getting better and better at pretending to be legit #whatever. I'm too tired for this nonsense. I'm going to head to bed now. hopefully everything will be settled tomorrow #also I apologise for the long update post but this shit's so bizarre I had to tell you all #have any of you experienced anything quite as weird where you live? or is it just this accursed town?

[roitaminnah]

okay i'll bite,,,, but just so you know I am doing these sketches day of with zero preperation..... n e ways... stargazing....

also I re-read maybe I'm not all you thought yesterday (one of my faves) so a little of that too... for sleepover....

#butterfly soup #butterfly soup 2 #ppkm #ppkmweek2023 #is that the tag? idk idk #the first 'week' i participated in i genuinely thought everyone was making the drawings day of . like fully rendered drawings #so I did that. alas now I am no wiser. #I like how so many people chose stargazing because sleepover is hard to be honest. but I love maybe I'm not all you thought that's my. #favorite ppkm sleepover but I've already drawn it so alas! a different section of the story then #tried to draw them kissing in an industrial dryer yesterday it didn't go over well. #in general none of my drawings have gone over well as of recent. alas I fear I am experiencing extreme art block and burnout #u know I really need to finish roses are red. I re read that one to and it was good! and I just left that poor baby unfinished. #alas #roi draws #roi writes a short novel in the tags

[shepherdnerd]

I prefer the country, but this city view is nothing to complain about!

#it's a busy week because I am really getting going setting up my own dog training business! #it will be simple where I just go to people's houses #but I've already had some lovely clients #and there are some amazing experienced trainings i know who are getting me more referrals so things are looking promising 🤞 #tristan #smooth collie

[yardsards]

living in america is literally just like. yeah i could probably benefit from inpatient mental health services but honestly the resulting medical bills would just make me want to kill myself even more

#eliot posts #i'm not in active danger of hurting myself don't worry #just experiencing some Ideations #but i have a long mental list of reasons not to act on those ideations so i'm safe don't worry #ironically one of those reasons is ''i couldn't afford the medical bills for a failed attempt'' #suicide mention #suicide tw #tw suicide #american healthcare my beloathed #dogshit private insurance my beloathed #also ironically one of the (multiple) contributing factors towards this fresh wave of ideations is a medical bill i got yesterday #it's nothing too ruinous but it is A LOT like would utterly wipe out my savings level #my parents said they can help me with it (as much as i hate accepting things from them) #and as soon as i mentioned it my very sweet cousin just. sent me the money it would take to cover it #with a ''yeah i trust you'll pay me back once you get a good job like looking at your major you'll be making a lot eventually'' #and i've already requested an itemized bill as well as the paperwork for the hospital's financial assistance program #(tho idk how much assistance i'll actually be eligible for bc i'm still legally a dependent) #so hopefully i'll be able to get that bill cut way down #it's just eugh it's so stressful and i had a full on panic attack on the phone with my insurance company yesterday #and my brain's fav response to crushing stress is just ''well we wouldn't have to handle any of this if we Just Fucking Died! :)''

[jakeperalta]

#people who've already seen it or don't have tickets your input is also welcome #i've not watched any livestreams so this would be my first time watching more than just individual clips #i'd been really hoping for a cinema release but i wanted it to be after the tour finishes #like do i miss out on experiencing the cinema release and have the fomo of everyone else talking about it in october #and then get to see it live with fresh eyes #or do i see the movie now and figure that it's a different experience live and i won't remember it all in 8 months anywayx #taylor swift #polls

[hivemindscape]

The waves continued to lap against the shore. Push and pull. Breathe in, breathe out.

“What triggered it?”

The question was quiet, and so out of the blue it took Wilbur a moment to realize Tommy had asked it.

“What do you mean?” Wilbur asked.

“Your panic attack,” Tommy clarified, his hair tickling Wilbur’s cheek again. “Was it random, or did something trigger it?”

"Your Name Is A Triangle" by @bonesandthebees​

song i drew this to alt version under the cut

#These past few months have been Hard for me art wise #No desire to even pick up the pen for the first few weeks after the wilbur finale and then utter demotivation because of tommys #At some point my passion for the mcyt fandom hanged by one thread- fanfiction #and the only fics i wanted to read were those of someone i already know and love #I was miserable over the idea no crimeboys content will make me emotional anymore #The first fic I willed myself to read is This one #and it was the biggest most sought-after surge of positive emotion I've experienced in a while #so relatable and soft and real and in character and so. full of love #Bee revitalized me to the point i instantly jumped to sketch this art the image was SO CLEAR. And I drew and It Worked I could draw #And till recently i couldnt find time to finish it and post it but even the coloured sketch brought me so much hope and joy to look at #Now one of my favorite pieces for so many reasons #Love your resident fic writers #Give them apprecition on the daily #they're my forever heroes #crimeboys #crime boys #crime boys fanart #mcyt fanfiction #wilbur soot #wilbur soot fanart #fanfiction fanart #tommyinit fanart #tommyinnit #mcyt

[gyunikum]

Fledgling Sailor of the Channel        |       Pirate of the Great Sand Sea

Tom Glynn-Carney in Dunkirk (2017) & SAS Rogue Heroes (2022)

#look i just couldnt get the colours to look about the same #also fuck nolan for his love for changing the aspect ratio between scenes #i've a confession to make: i couldnt fucking recognize TGC in sasrh #ngl as i was making the gifs i was still like 'hoW IS THIS THE SAME PERSON???' #god dunkirk set me on a warpath to ww2 and im still not done 6 years later #mom this might not be a phase after all #dunkirk #sas: rogue heroes #tom glynn carney #THERE'S SO MUCH DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HIS CHARACTERS I LOVE IT #like like peter is just a child who comes of age on the sea with the death of his best friend #he learns the first touch of war there #and then you have mike who's already experienced and goes where the sand takes him and he is one with the desert #*holds forehead* poetic cinema

[headdaze]

***SPOILERS for A Conjuring of Light***

I have been an avid reader for approximately two decades now. I have seen my fair share of characters dying, my fair share of pain within books. Almost two decades, and yet never once have I ever cried when a character died in a book. Until I read ACOL. When Hastra died, I may as well have been stabbed square in the heart alongside him--I screamed, put the book down right then and there, and started sobbing. Just when I thought we were safe--just when I thought I could breathe--one of my absolute favorite characters, gone, just like that. The worst part about it was that he went in a way that was so him--protecting someone. The only good part was that at least it was quick. He deserves that much. By the time we got to Emira's death, my tears had already run out... Congratulations @veschwab -- I truly applaud you as a writer, truly and sincerely, because the last stretch of ACOL is putting me through the wringer like no other book I've ever read before. I am utterly amazed.

tdlr I always say I'm not ok when reading books but this. this is the real deal. now excuse me while I go cope

#incoherent screaming #crying screaming throwing up #crying screaming sobbing #pay for my tears. #my pain. #my heart. #because you have RIPPED IT ALL OUT. #WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME #YOU HAVE ALREADY ACCOMPLISHED MORE THAN ANY WRITER I HAVE EVER READ #SO PLEASE #GIVE MY BABIES A HAPPY END #I want to be a writer like Schwab man--MAKE MY READERS CRY #now that I've experienced it.. I kinda feel bad about actively trying to make my own stories as heartwrenching as possible ((kinda)) #shades of magic #a conjuring of light

[forcedhesitation]

stop fucking flirting with me, you rancid little man

#bg3 #thoughts about media #never had this dialogue before. durge exclusive or...?? #either way- I'm lying astarion. please keep talking about murder. it does something for me personally. #also LMAO at him “hiding” his vampirism. baby I can SEE your fangs and bite mark. you aren't hiding shit. #imagining him asking corydalis this and corydalis having to explain that decapitating him would be difficult due to his scaly skin. #with the parasite- his abilities are weakened and thus he can actually be poisoned whereas normally he is immune. #he'd admit he's always been curious what it's like to be poisoned lol. #you know. despite only having fully beat the game once- I have nearly 500 hrs in bg3. #I've half finished many campaigns. and now. when I must begin an adventure with no corydalis to return to... #...well it hurts. it is not the same without him...I will forever treasure him and experiencing the story alongside him. #this new character is a durge. aaaanother tiefling because I enjoy them. he isn't Actually the durge lorewise though. #I had my own story already formulated for him. even before I made him in game. I think I still want to keep him a bhaalspawn though. #if not bhaal- he'll be tied to myrkul. since corydalis has existing beef with myrkul. #he's got body type 1 instead of 2 and goodness it is SO strange to Look Up To the gents. like what do you MEAN they are TALL?! #astarion is like a little mouse. he is not supposed to be tall! wyll has transmasculine short king allure. he is not supposed to be tall! #gale can be a LITTLE tall. I guess. but he's such a sopping wet cat of a man. I can hardly imagine him being THAT tall. #none of them are taller than corydalis! bar halsin and karlach of course.

[gxlden-angels]

^ Bearer of the curse (Had to be the one to tell my therapist that some southern christians say "Daddy god" unironically)

#We've realized why I've been feeling so weird about my family being pentecostal #essentially I always joked about my family being a cult/part of a cult #it's my fun fact about myself! I escaped a cult! #makes people curious cause holy shit a cult but also wow! ur so cool! you escaped! #but it's a lot easier to make that joke when it's 'haha my family is quirky' #versus 'my family openly identifies with a group considered an extremist cult by mainstream standards' #its not a bit anymore #it's not a fun fact its like #A Real Recognized Cult #that preys on vulnerable people like my family and makes them think they're nothing without it #they get that high during the praise breaks and give a bunch of their already limited income #then go back to being miserable but saying they're joyful because the lord loves a cheerful giver #its fucked up #and it's not a bit anymore #I make it a bit with jokes like that but it's just Not #My therapist said he never met someone who grew up in that #but had seen it a couple times and thought it was Weird #So I make the same old joke about speaking in tongues sounding like gibberish #and it hits different because he doesn't get it #I made that joke with other family members who experienced it #but it's different sitting in a therapist's office walking back and forth back and forth #doing the little [ba dum ba dum badum HA] rhythm they all speak with #before the piano kicks up and people are crying screaming falling on the floor #stomping and shouting and singing #the emotional tension suffocated you and you don't know why you're crying but you are #and here I am #in my therapist's office #as he stares at me in horror and it all falls together #ex christian #religious trauma

[gender-trash]

once again remembering the Worst thing abt being nontraditionally educated which was that every single person you meet as a school-aged child living in the US asks you what grade you're in and i WASN'T in a grade because grade levels are fucking stupid

my mom's suggested script was "i'm homeschooled and we don't do grades" but i eventually got sick of answering the same five questions about homeschooling ("bwuh... but what do you MEAN you don't do grades??" DUDE. COME ON) every time i introduced myself to someone so i just started Lying and making up a number. however i didnt know anything about what school was like, because i had never gone to school, and i couldn't (and still can't) remember the grade-age correspondence (this is not an invitation to explain it to me) so i would very rapidly get myself caught in a web of lies about what it was like to skip third grade or how my adjustment to high school was going. also i couldn't remember, across interactions, who knew i was homeschooled and who didn't, and what grade i'd pulled out of my ass to tell them, if any, which made things 10x worse

anyway now one of my favorite character archetypes is the Plotty Boi, the spider at the center of the web of lies, because it is never not impressive to me that the Plotty Boi can remember the shit he says well enough to pull it off

#the trashcan speaks #i guess it's good practice for the tightrope walk of telling normies what college i went to #without having to endure the 'oh you must be so smart!' conversational path #what do i even say to that???? #my LEAST favorite thing abt small talk is when a standard opener question leads to a conversation path i've experienced many times already #like do people not realize when they're doing this or do they just not care #or do they think they've somehow come up with a Unique Observation to make about my name (they have not)

[disdaidal]

I do love that I'm both freezing and having the worst back pains.

But at least I still have a roof above my head, right?

#personal #so here's the thing: #i don't think any of the radiators in my apartment are currently working #which kind of sucks bc it's winter in northern europe lmao #one of them had blown a fuse. which i changed yesterday. and now it's cold again. so there's definitely something wrong with it #two of them. which are located in my bedroom/living room combination. have red lights on #but they are both cold and not heating up my apartment. which means i'm freezing here #so it could be a thermostat or something. i don't know #but because my place was a mess. after having worked for a few months and not having energy to do anything else #i had to clean up here yesterday. because i couldn't call my landlord who lives closeby in case he decided to drop in and see #the mess i was living in. to you know. check on those radiators #so anyway. my apartment is pretty okay now. stuff i still need to clean though but it's mostly minor #but i seem to have strained my lower back doing it. or from sleeping in an awkward position because i was cold #the kind of pain i haven't experienced in months which must be a record for me now #but yeah now my lower back hurts. i can't properly crouch or even twist my body to the side without my knees trying to give out #and i've already taken painkillers for it today. which kind of put me to sleep again and had a lovely little nap a while ago #but this is bothersome #i hope my back feels better by tomorrow so i can finish my cleaning and then message my landlord #because i don't want to freeze here anymore xD and i also don't want my houseplants dying because of it so

[grymmdark]

who'd think that seeing snow in the mountains in December would be a notable thing

#grymms spectacular fucking posts #it doesn't snow anymore really. winters just become a long october #cold sometimes wet sometimes but not that cold and not that wet #it used to snow so much. we used to get snow days and below 0 and sledding snow and needed to shovel it and salt the walk #we dont even get icy sidewalks #i haven't seen a snowplow in years #and the worst part is i know I've never really seen winter because what i experienced was already more mild and warm than it used to be

[gotyouanyway]

oversharing maybe sorry but i just stopped taking the pill recently bc i realized it was making me chronically miserable so i haven't had like a raw all natural pmdd episode since i was 18 i have no idea what that's gonna be like but i'm already not enjoying it

#bc i was on T then i went right to the pill when i stopped that #i mean the pill didn't WORK so i can't imagine it's going to be that much worse than what i've been experiencing emotionally #but the more physical pmdd symptoms are already worse than i ever remembered so i'm not having fun #i'm tired and brain foggy and FUCKING STARVING #p

[glimblshanks]

I understand wanting to ship the lower decks characters (I enjoy shipping the lower decks characters) but also McMahan is very clearly trying to write romantic friendships with the WC4 and I wish more fans could recognize that and just enjoy it for what it is

#venting #idk maybe it's just that my other main fandom is mostly aspec people #but as much as I enjoy Lower Decks and its fandom for the most part #I feel like I've experienced a lot more uh ... casual arophobia in this fandom than in others #and it's mostly through people insisting that certain ships need to be canon #and that certain actions in the show couldn't possibly be read as platonic #it honestly makes shipping less fun for me :/ #like I love the relationships in lower decks because they are so much like my own relationships as an aro #it's so nice to see committed friendships that are prioritized above the romantic relationships the characters get into #and even though I enjoy shipping some of the characters romantically #honestly any of the WC4 getting together would really ruin that aspect of the show for me #I don't think McMahan is aro #but he writes relationships in a very aro way #and I appreciate him for that! #like I understand that some people want certain ships to be canon #but I think harping on that too much really takes away from how unique and meaningful his way of writing relationships is already #and it really kind of sucks to see relationships I strongly relate to #critiqued as being poorly written or 'bating the audience' just because they're not romantic

[kokiri]

Digital masking is so real and it can be as damaging as masking in-person/offline. Yes, it can easier to be yourself anonymously online! But you can still easily fall into habits of masking to fit in with and not be rejected by online communities. Especially if you've found communities that share your special interests and you struggle to connect with people about them irl. I feel like this needs to be discussed more.

#autism #rejection sensitive dysphoria #I've gone through hell and ended up with social (and sexual) traumas by masking to not be rejected by people #more so than I ever experienced with any irl friends #not to mention the fact that autistic people who do already struggle with social skills are more likely to fall victim to #cruel online behavior like bullying within their special interest communities #and can be taken advantage of too #autism things #adhd things #i didn't have many irl friends growing up but lowkey most of us were neurodivergent and parallel played and avoided conflict #which is why I've dealt with minimal irl relationship trauma but us all being ND meant i never got actually close to any of them lol