#and since i didn't get any closure now im still thinking abt those interactions

[notetaeker]

just thinking about some self-isolating behaviors i have had in the past (and still now i guess) that keep me away from people, while ppl might misunderstand that i’m doing it because i don’t care about them or i take their friendship lightly. But the reason i did it wasn’t because i disliked them but i disliked me. 

#and since i didn't get any closure now im still thinking abt those interactions #i run away from closure because i am scared no one cares enough to want closure with me #---> which leads to ppl thinking that i don't care abt them because i left without closure #a mess #i guess i was always just a coward inside lmao #dumb things i say #delete later #and what if send a letter to these ppl 3 years late. #sigh #ngl i have indeed done that before #just my fear of not living up to whatever expectation they have of me rn is whats stopping me