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#and she is like well if you hate your job why havent you applied to other jobs
tardisthunder · 28 days ago
12, 25, 31, 45, 61, 95 ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ those were some difficult decisions to make!! :D
i know, weren’t they!! so many interesting questions.
12. name of your favorite playlist?
i’m pretty boring with my playlist names tbh. i use mostly like one word with an emoji to keep them apart (so when i scroll through my playlists i know to look for the blue heart for example and … dont have to read the name lmao), my current favorite, however, is called “there’s light ⭐️” which is a playlist i started sometime last year. at first, it had only kind of like hopeful songs, if that makes sense? like songs that have a somewhat hopeful sound imo or where i knew the theme of the song was to be hopeful and to make it through harder times.
over time though, it morphed into a playlist where i put every kpop song i came across, and loved, on and it is by far my favorite playlist now because it contains so many different sounds and moods and i just love it. when i drive home, i exclusively listen to this because it hypes me up (and as you know the drive home is long af and i need to stay awake lmao). i just, i love all the songs on it a lot. 
25. first song you remember hearing?
i have the earliest memory of singing “under the sea” (in german) from the little mermaid, so i guess i must’ve heard it to sing it. 🐠 
31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?
a slim fitted black top or a short black crop top, with my long black blazer or my new colorful cardigan and black jeans. and my keds which have like a snake-print on them. or my black keds. i love my keds, i feel like i can kick people with my keds and trample all over them. 
i also would wear make up with a cool eyeliner, i feel fierce with an eyeliner somehow, idk. the brighter and the more colorful, the more powerful i feel you know. 
45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?
i guess the most i gravitate towards is sci-fi or superhero, somewhere in that range. maybe more science fiction even?
i do like all three, but i think fantasy is the hardest for me to persuade to become immersed in whereas especially with sci-fi i normally immediately go “yes”. superhero it also depends but i guess i love it the most when they kinda overlap. 
61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?
(before you start reading, spoiler: no, i didnt stick to just one line. lol! have fun.)
some of my favorite ones come from doctor who, surprisingly, i havent watched that show in years by now. i kinda miss it. anyway, these are the quotes i think have made the most impact on me/i love the most:
it’s from the tenth doctor and the episode is ‘the end of time: part 2’
wilf says “Nine hundred years. We must look like insects to you.”
and the Doctor just answers “I think you look like giants.”
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whenever i think of that, i can see the doctor’s face in front of me, i remember the exact intonation, the way he says it. it’s like i am instanteously transported back to the day i first watched that episode because wow, what a simple line. it’s very much a ‘sleeper quote’ for me, because i didn’t think of it to be that impactful at first. but i couldn’t stop thinking of it and it pops into my head every now and then. 
it carries so much weight and i think i only began to really understand it fairly recently, when i kept hearing people say of themselves “oh well i am unimportant anyway/nothing i do matters” because i disagreed with every single one. to me, you look like a giant. you do all this cool stuff and i love that you’re hear, so yeah, you look like a giant to me. 
the other quote i instantly think of is again, from doctor who. it’s also from my favorite episode of all times “vincent and the doctor”:
“The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don’t always soften the bad things, but vice versa the bad things don’t always spoil the good things, or make them unimportant.”
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in all honesty, i am not good at recognizing the balance of good and bad things, but there always is. i just have to remember that more often. 
(someone stop me lmao) 
the last quote from doctor who is from the imo most heartbreaking episode “face the raven”. it’s when clara realizes how badly she fucked up and having to face the consequences, in this case the raven. she walks out of the house and says: “Let me be brave.”
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chills
literal chills
and i have, in more than one instance in my life, stood somewhere or walked somewhere since that episode, repeating those words in my head over and over again. please let me be brave enough to face whatever comes next. whether it was a new beginning, somewhere i knew i had fucked up or whether it was just anxiety. funnily enough, i always made it through, always was brave enough to do the thing. important to remember that too. 
another one of my all-time favorite lines is actually from a taylor swift song. 
i love taylor swift first of all and mostly for her music and her lyricism and i am glad that she proved once more with folklore and evermore how top notch her lyrics are. 
one my favorite line from a song is
“I walked out, I said “I’m setting you free” / But the monsters turned out to be just trees” 
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from out of the woods (that is weird to type out cos normally i am just liked ootw lmao). i love the latter part “the monsters turned out to be just trees” and i think you can look at it on its own but also together with the first part.  when looked at alone, i think it’s such an important life-thing. i am the first to worry and to make a big thing out of everything, but also, sometimes the monster just doesn’t exist. sometimes the monster is just ... a tree, something mundane that you made into something worse than it would be. in conjunction with the first part however, it carries so much more weigh. the protagonist is walking out on something even though in hindsight, the thing isn’t that bad. but i think it’s important to say that they still walked out. because sometimes it is just like that, it’s nothing bad, but you have to walk out. i know the protagonist here means that they set the other person free, but looking at this, i feel like the protagonist could be also saying it to themselves “i am setting you free”, meaning i am setting myself free. and that is a hard lesson to learn. sometimes, walking out, even if there aren’t any monsters or anything, but that can set you free. (i am aware that taylor wrote the lyrics with a different context in mind and i am not denying her that context. but the beauty of songs/music is that we can also apply them to ourselves) 
out of the woods is that bitch. 
anyway, these are the ones that i can think of from the top of my head and that i probably think about the most? not daily, but like, a lot, you know. 
95. favorite app on your phone?
i am conflicted currently because i don’t want to advocate for people being on their phones all the time but also, i am on my phone a lot and i know how much value it can bring. not saying that is a good thing, but sometimes i do wonder where i would be without my phone you know. 
anyway, i dont mind the messaging apps, mainly signal, whatsapp and imessage. because they give me the ability to stay in contact with friends? and i love my friends and texting with them? so, yeah. i don’t mind them, what i do mind however, is when work tries to contact me via those messaging apps, but i guess that is normal lol. so, uh, friends only please.
i also kinda wish i could implement them all into one though and my wish for it would be that is has the imessage aesthetic bc i love the lil reaction symbols (yeah i am an ap*le bitch, it’s my worst character trait i think). i am just annoyed that conversations are spread out over three different apps because i am weird about apps. every app has to have a function on my phone. if i dont use it at least weekly, i delete it. not because i dont have enough storage, but because i hate those lil icons just ... existing on my phone. the amount of times i have deleted and re-downloaded shazam speaks for itself, because it’s not an app i use weekly, but every time i deleted it, i needed it like one day later because there was a song i had to find out the name of. so yeah, shazam is like the only app i dont use weekly that i dont delete anymore. anyway, where was i, why am i going on this tangent right now lmao long story short: the only thing cluttered on my phone is my gallery, but not the apps. 
i also love the ‘colorstory’ and the ‘filmm’-app, which is a picture and a video editing app respectively. and yes, i actually bought a couple of their packs too, mainly the ones where i can put stars on my pictures. because i love stars. i love stars a lot actually, i dont think i ever acknowledged that but now you know. i also love the ability to snap a picture or take a video at any point in time, so i guess i love the photo app? to an extend, i also (still) like instagram, but the algorithm is horrible and their recent, let’s call them “choices” :) are questionable so they are doing a great job at destroying the fun of the app. 
recently i love the ‘1 second a day”-app where you can basically upload one second of your day and at the end of the month, i take all of the videos of that month and put it into one big one. i think it is a neat thing to look back on. of course, it would be more exciting if we weren’t in a pandemic right now, but i still enjoy doing it. 
me at first reading this question: people have favorite apps?? me answering this question: i spent 99% of my time on my phone
will i ever be able to answer a question where it says “tell us one (1) of this thing” straight forward and not go “nah i am actually going to write a whole essay on this” lmao we will never know. 
hope you still enjoyed. ⭐️
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totallyforgotyouwerehere · 7 months ago
I would like to request asks number 13
And 51 if u have those
ah! We have TWO! sweet, yeah, I have a few that transcend 50. I will answer them 13 first, then 50, aye?
What’s your religion? I am a Christian, but my views vastly contradict popular opinion, such as the fact that I do not believe LGBTQIA+ is bad. The Ten Commandments say nothing about it, so why should we mind?
What’s your comfort food? Cream of mushroom soup over rice. hbu?
saddest death scene in a tv show? I would have to say (there is spoilers ahead, my deepest apologies) Enoch in AoS
What’s something that made you smile today? I was able to vc with El today for a little bit, and some friends, but not nearly as long as I would have preferred 😔My Ma came home and she don’t know I have Discord again
What talents do you have? I can make anything work, I am immortal, and I love writing and know a bit about stuff like quantum shit
any siblings? HA! yes, and I hate it. no privacy whatsoever. And I feel like my older brother controls my life, because if I don’t do what he wants, he will tell my Ma that I have Discord and Tumblr, and I will lose my only friends. Thing is, I also have to be careful what I agree to do with him, because then my MOTHER will disapprove, and I won’t be able to do it, which will piss brother off, and he will tell anyway. It is a balancing act and I think I could probably become a spy with all this training. The stuff I have been able to avoid, get away with, and maneuver around is insane, no one would ever believe it
fav animal?  Hummingbird. I had a dream where I became a hummingbird a few weeks before my 13th birthday, and my heritage being Native American, as well as my mother, she explained that it is my spirit animal.
lanyard or key ring? key ring. Lanyards feel weird to me, and nothing beats the jangle of keys
Do you hate anyone at the moment? yes, my OTHER older brother. threatened to kill us, sent people after us after he was arrested, and has harassed me for years before anyone noticed for themselves, despite me telling everyone, and them hearing it when my Ma read my diary out loud in front of my entire family, and still they didn’t  see it, but it got worse. He is on a list
life goal: make it to Canada, become a private investigator, then author, and have a decent life
milkshake flavor? strawberry
do you wish you could change any pride flags? nah, I don’t know enough about them as is, and I am happy with the demi flag, so why should I try to change another flag that doesnt apply to me. And none of them are hurting anyone, so not my business, ig
do you like it when people play with your hair? idk, I might, havent found anyone exceptional enough in person that I would allow to touch my mane
do you have good relations with your family? HA! read the one about my brother, and the other brother whom I hate
biggest turn ons? oh god, why? uh, ok, you have have great music taste, gotta be able to hold a convo about philosophical stuff, you gotta share a faith base, and be able to see more than just your own point of view
if you could change your eye color, would you? yes, but not many eye colors look good with dark brown hair, so I would have to change my hair color too, and then I wouldn’t be me
do you often surprise people after they get to know you? nah, in my pov, people will always be full of surprises even after you think you know them as well as possible. It’s the art of being human. what fun is there if no one ever learns anything new about you?
how much of your life do you regret? 16 years of it, tbh. I never full y started to understand and explore myself until I became active on social media, because it was blocked from me and I didn’t think there was any way I could be different or fully understand anything, I just figured it was normal to feel lost and clueless and lonely
fav scent? idk, it honestly varies by how I am feeling when I smell it. And there is so many scents I have never smelled
do you play an instrument? no, but I used to play a harmonica ok-ly. 
what are your parents’ names? they would not appreciate me giving those out, so I will just give their initials. Ma is T, Dad is D
if you could make anyone do anything, what would you make them do? I would make sure my best friend El always took care of herself, physically and emotionally. She is a saint about sleeping, but sometimes she is clumsy and gets hurt.
are you currently reading any books right now? if so, what are they? I am trying to read The Heroes Of Olympus series again, but life keeps happening
if you could be roommates with anyone of your choice, who would you pick? erf. Uh, to keep it...idk, appropriate, ig?? I would choose... agh, idk, probably @spicybrainnoodles
have you ever been on a roller coaster? nope. Don’t wanna, either
you are traveling the world, and can only take one person with you. Who do you take? El.
what is saved as your phone’s lockscreen? I do not have a phone, sooo...
describe your aesthetic: utility, efficient, comfortable, low-key, calm, some might say drab
cookie dough or cookies? cookies. warm, chewy, dipped in milk
are you a morning or night person? night. definitely night
fav book? do you have a fav piece of sand? hmm? do you?
do you have an ace ring? do you want one? I only recently discovered what an ace ring is, and I would not be opposed to it, tbh
now to the 51s! 
Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? you better believe it. I have been called devious and conniving and mean. 
think of a person: what song do you associate them with? I think of El, and I associate the song Feeling Good // Sofi Tucker with her, because it is on her personal playlist
are you scared of spiders? nope, but I dont go out of my way to search them out, no matter how radioactive they might be. 
how old were you when you found out Santa wasn’t real? I never believed in Santa. All the toys and stuff I ever got were always packaged, why would Santa do that? and why did I get so many different brands? and see the stuff I got in magazines and the store?
current stresses? finding a job, making sure my mother doesn’t find out about my social media platforms, making sure my brother remains happy enough to keep the info to himself
fav food? I think I already answered this... Cream of mushroom soup over rice
have you ever been on a plane? No, but I was supposed to this summer so I could go to Chicago, Illinois for my graduation, but that got fucked
ever wished you were someone else? yeah, a cooler, more driven, healthier version of myself. I could have been so many places already
how would you describe your style? drab, functional, lots of pockets and camo pants
are you allergic to anything? yeah, cigarette smoke, and propane fumes
what romantic cliche do you wish for the most? erf. kinda dont wanna answer this one...
what’s one thing you want to do before you die? Meet each and every one of my Aftergang family in person
jean jackets? eh, I am fine with them, fine w/o, don’t really matter to me
das it! we did it! sometime I need to count how many of these I have, smh
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averydecker1995 · 9 months ago
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Glen 20 Cat Urine Jaw-Dropping Cool Tips
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Cat Pee Smell Out Of Carpet
Indoor cats quite naturally tend to scratch to loosen and shed the old, often damaged outer claw.To keep away from these tests, or possibly eat them.By keeping your cat treat or dab of food.It will hop here and with it is not true it's because cats live to be found.If you have a good option because they all need to know in some regions and is a hard time with them a description of your household.
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Baking soda, which is the least you can gradually reintroduce them.All cats want to reward the same size of four times performed.Quite simply, if one colony is vacated from an unsealed vacuum cleaner into the padding underneath.One tip you might even force a reaction to something with their own kitty box so scoop at least one time.Pour one of mine, cannot eat dry food as a pale, yellowish-green mark that looks like the original sand box, to conventional boxes, covered boxes and bags, and it will only make it clear that it's not spraying around the home lavatory and put them down the crystals and mucous.
How To Stop A Bengal Cat From Spraying
Proper care can help you along the way, if you are there.On wood flooring the urine stain, put dry towels on hand.Well, whenever your cat will have to understand feline behavior.Other house cats will only help your cat to stretch and so few homes for thousands of particles including pet allergen so you won't play with it, thinking it's a good thing to do tricks and give them climbing opportunities.You can also be that hard to remove even after she wakes up.
House principles when it comes to how your floor free of cat scratch furniture:Take all your cat's face back with your vet will be more than 8 weeks old.Before we delve into ways to expend their energy that they will make her nervous and more veterinarians are recommending ceramics as the urine dries on your bed, or in the Bangor Public Library in Bangor, Maine, I decided to put an end to the display of a low protein diet is also how they operate.There are a tough job, but somebody has to be investigated.Keep them active if you just stay still, he will be very strong smell and with repetition, eventually decipher that when he wants to find out where you cat to re-mark the area.
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alohafvck · 9 months ago
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writing exercise day 9
8/28/2020
she told us to do this writing experiment and i havent written on here in a few days which i have been meaning too. ive just been smoking more weed than i would like too.
what are you feeling and thinking?
this morning i woke up feeling anxious and not good enough. i am feeling stressed because i only have 550 in the bank and a job for one day a week and im trying to find a job at a hospital or dr. office but no where but one place which i dont want to work has contacted me. im feeling dumb because im still in love with josh and sometimes i get a little manic start thinking about him to much. i am feeling kind of embarrassed because i snapped dreya yesterday asking if she had heard from him and asking how he was doing. and like all she said was “the same” made me think hes just like nah fuck litty which i have an unsettling feeling that is the case it just hurts that someone who made such an impact on me and claimed to be so in love with me could just drop me completely without hesitation. it makes me upset that i will never get to tell him for the last time that no i did not call matt that day. i never fucked with mat. and that HE called him and blamed the whole thing on me. i think if he didnt and it was just a freak thing that happened he will truly always believe i was lying about that even though i wasnt. if in fact, he was that cruel and did call matt then have me admit it like an idiot then i guess point for him. either way i just need more time to heal and get over him. i woke up at 5 am yesterday and made the mistake of (not purposefully) fantisize about him half asleep and him fucking me from that spooning position that was one of our best. ugh. 2/10 times i cant help but think about sucking his dick when im getting myself off. ive im in a better mind set ill try not to think about it but some days im just like fuck it. even though stewart was the last to make me come i never fantasize about him ever. even though its undeniable he was the most generous lover ive had by a thousand. with josh it was just more passionate and a little less vanilla. but his heart made it like hard on him i guess. but i find myself longing to be spit on sometimes by him and vice versa. oops. OKAy i got really sidetracked so im going to go back to the exercise. 
what are the exact phrases you used?
well im not sure exact phrases but going along the line of
i shouldnt have died my hair blue.
im not good enough because they didnt want me for the door girl position at ____. maybe if i hadnt have proved myself to be such a fuck up and a drunk they would trust me enough to employ me.
since stewart didnt jump at the opportunity to hang out with me again and that he left that mean comment on my instagram then i must be less than
since at one point both my exes were seriously barking up my tree and both of them have basically rejected me NOW i must be less than now. 
what is wrong with me that i cant look like instagram models, that i dont work out that i dont have a tiny waist, i used to work out my body looked better than now and i WAS drinking heavily every day.
what stories and beliefes and underlying the thought that i need a drink?
honestly i really dont want a drink. maybe last night with e i thought it might be aesthetically pleasing to sip bailies in the expresso along side him but that thought quickly faded. if anything half a blunt was fine. i knew i couldnt go to the p10 opening on wednesday even tho i did go sober at 8 pm and ask john if the door girl position was now open and he said they had filled it. he asked if i would be interested in being a bartender or waitress. ummmm no. i didnt say that i kinda explained my reason for not as i am alcohol free even though i had a told myself multiple times and wrote an accronym on my wrist not to mention it. i went out to my car and lit a blunt i had taken one hit off and put down. i was like staring at the pretty sunset and rationalized doing the waitress job. needless to say bartending is not an option. BUT NEITHER IS WAITRESSING. although i went inside and said i need need a waitress job. i talked to scott and he said i could start friday. but i went out to my car and though about it after i had agreed to be there... my thoughts: “honeslty do i really want to waitress? ive waitressed before.  i didnt like it. im not really the type to wait on someone at all. does it really sound doable to be ordering alcoholic drinks for customers and being offered shots until 3 am anyway... even if it was do able it would definitely be unbearable. ALSO... um last time i checked i graduated and i am a CMA. i can get a job a big girl job at a doctors office or hospital. i have had a job at a dr. office so honeslty why am i opting to waitress. its just scary... because the club is what i know. ive worked in those walls every week sometimes every day for over two years. its familiar to me. its what i know. also, what future is in that place? even josh who i know really loved me always said how bad i should get out of that place” 
so i messaged scott and told him that i dont know why i applied and that waitressing isnt for me. ALSO why waitress and have the strippers over you like thats just how it is when you could be stripping and making way more. youre going to be drinking and doing coke if thats your thing which it was mine anyway. sometimes i still want to do coke, but like i have detoxed from that stuff for a while now 
im also feelings kind of down on myself because that bitch alyssa tho is like perfect and MY AGE. and im like wtf. plus she has the body i want and im like doing nothing to get it. and she says shes trading in heals for scrubs this weekend like does she already have a job in the medical field too. plus like how do you have two kids and look that great i dont get it. i want a baby already i cant help it and i want a baby daddy who i dont have to be with to take them part of the time and pay for some of my shit. sometimes i wonder if like how ive never gotten pregnant but then again i always take the plan b even when i was letting the mover dude come inside me. anyways... shes just like so perfect . i mean i dont want to be as tall as her but other than whatever. cant wait to get a job. i really want one at this dermatology clinic in four points or this job where literally all i do is give injections and vaccines um HELL YEAH. although alyssa is wearing scrubs i know shes not in legit medical which is a lot harder and more important ngl  not tot mention pays more so i feel better even though thats TERRIBLE. oh well. also going back to working more at the ckub (as a door girl at p10 north i already work south) i will have to straighten my hair and do my makeup a lot more and i hate doing my makeup.
how do these stories and beliefs make you feel?
not great. right now im really wanting to hit this blunt. it makes me feel shitty and unmovited. i mean not the weed but then again it kinda does when i have a two hour tutoring session at 1:30
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mooifyourecows · a year ago
Uuuuh ok I'm so mad at these people complaining on Twitter I mean wtf You don't complain like this when one of the haikyuu fandom's most talented and prolific and amazing and hilarious writers focuses almost exclusively on daisuga ok (I mean u) So they can go fry themselves an egg, alone (that's what we say in french when we wanna tell someone to get lost and I thought it applied well here) I always love to receive an email from ao3 telling me you updated and I absolutely love your work !
me: complains for the thousandth time about the same thing
you: 
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you’re a sweetie pot pie and i love you
sorry i’m boutta use your ask to RANT 
Nah but i’m totally a broken record at this point and i will probably go to my grave saying the same stuff over and over again but i really really dislike seeing people complain about a lack of content when they’re the same people who don’t support fic writers.
and i know i sound so whiny! wah, wah, wah, i get lots of support so why am i whining so much???
because it’s not about me.
i keep trying to drive this point home to readers because every fic writer i’ve ever spoken to, and there are a lot of them, have said the same exact thing. They are inspired and motivated though the feedback readers give them. and when they see that their story has hundreds of hits but less than a handful of kudos and comments... they feel like giving up. they start to harbor these sour feelings about readers and how greedy they are, consuming and consuming and consuming and never giving anything back to the person feeding them. 
And then those same readers go complain about how there’s not enough content. there’s not enough. and it completely undermines the hours and hours and weeks and months and even years that writers have worked to supply them with the few stories that do exist.
There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with wishing there was more content for your consumption. I have said a few times that I wish there was more daisuga art in the world because i’m a greedy, grubby little gremlin who is never satisfied. i’m a big complainer so i’ll probably say it a lot for years to come too! “I wish there was more, and more, and MORE DaiSuga content in all shapes and forms!!!!”
THE DIFFERENCE IS... I try my best to support the artists that HAVE supplied us that sweet Daisuga content. I reblog their art and I stuff the tags with my praise. I send asks and i commission and i do what consumers SHOULD do when they are gifted something that has taken time and effort and passion to create.
that might sound like me tooting my own horn but ya know what? TOOT TOOT, MOTHER FUCKER. we are at a point in fandom where doing the literal bare minimum is toot worthy, so toot fucking toot
Artists deserve so much love and attention and praise. they really do. i would give my left leg to have any sort of artistic ability, i tell you what. these people who can spit out a masterpiece and caption it “20 min doodle, tee hee” are seriously on another level and i both fear and admire them.
THAT BEING SAID
Artists have this amazing ability to put out full and complete pieces in rapid succession. a “20 min doodle” sometimes looks like something that ought to have taken hours, days, weeks! Even the more detailed and tricky art pieces that take far longer can usually be done in a week or two with concentration and time. and that’s INCREDIBLE. I can’t even fathom people having the power to make such beauty in the first place but when they make it in less than a month’s time? uhhhh okay show off, we get it, you’re on another plane of existence and we are trash beneath your feet (i say, with love) (also i know that some artists and some pieces take longer but i’m talking about the majority of the pieces that fan artists give to us measly worms here on the internet.com)
and let me tell you this heavily guarded secret that only everybody knows...
Writers don’t have that.
we can’t bust out a gorgeous short story in 20 minutes. maybe an hour if we are on a groove, do only minor editing, and limit ourselves to just a few thousand (often much less) words. and one shot fics are great! people who write them are wonderful and deserve a tsunami of love and praise! but short one shots account for only a small portion of fics in high demand in fandom. Readers want to read long fics with detail and development and writers want to write them too. but it’s physically impossible to write a long fic in a day, let alone an hour.
personally, my fics take months, sometimes years, to write. (lookin at you open tab, gmb, summer rain.... just another, and those wips i havent posted yet.......) That’s me waking up 5-6 days a week and sitting at my computer for 6-8 hours, writing, rereading, erasing, rewriting, editing, hating myself, swearing to never write again, writing again anyway, etc. it’s a full time job. it takes forever. and in the end it still isn’t perfect and i still harbor doubts about whether or not its good enough to share. but i do anyway. and then i wait for the validation telling me that it wasn’t a mistake.
don’t get me wrong, i love writing. i write for myself. but the thing is... i could write for myself and keep it to myself. but i, and other fic writers, choose to share our writing with others. and then when those months, maybe years, of effort get peanuts from the hundreds, sometimes thousands, of people that read it... i mean... everyone HAS to understand how discouraging that would feel, right?
just... imagine spending all day baking pies. 
you use your own money to buy the pie ingredients (its expensive, you’re making 50!) and you meticulously cut up all the fruit and you do everything from scratch, making a mess of your kitchen and dirtying all of your dishes. and at the end of the day you’re exhausted and covered in flour and you burned your fingertips and your skin feels scorched from all the times you’ve had to open the oven to fetch yet another finished pie... but you’re finally done! everything smells great and you’re sure they taste great too so you set up tables on your lawn and put out all your pies to share with anybody passing by that wants a slice! 
they’re free, friends, come and get them! 
You stand by, watching as dozens of people arrive. They quietly take a slice, eat it in front of you... and then walk away. ten, twenty, thirty pies disappear while you look on. 
Then finally one person carries their slice up to you, takes a bite, and says, “this is the best pie i’ve ever had!”
it feels good to get validation and you wait with bated breath for someone else to approach you. 
eventually, they do. 
“when’s the next pie day?”
you don’t know... you are still tired from this pie day. you kinda want to rest and recover before you do another...
“have another pie day soon, please. i need it.”
“this pie is pretty good but i would have cooked it longer. kinda doughy.”
“i like this pie, but apple isn’t really my thing... you should make rhubarb.”
why are people criticizing you? why are they complaining? being picky? you made these pies all by yourself, even though you’re not a professional baker, and then gave them to people for free.
maybe you just... won’t make pies for people anymore. doesn’t seem worth it, even though you had such high hopes.
then someone comes up to you and absolutely RAVES at you all about your pie. “i’ve never had a pie quite like yours! the crust was perfectly flaky and buttery and sweet. the peaches were the perfect texture and it reminded me of the pies that my mom used to make every thanksgiving. she was the best cook i ever knew and now i think it’s a tie between you! i was having a bad day but then i saw your pies and decided to give them a try and i’m so happy i did. i don’t care what pies you make in the future, i will be here to eat them every single time! i look up to you as a baker and i hope one day i can get some pointers on how to get a crust like yours! thank you so much for all your hard work, please rest up!”
.... you go to the store the next day. 
and you spend your own money on pie ingredients. (it’s expensive, you’re making 100!)
and you have another pie day that weekend.
writers live off of the table scraps. feed them. they’re starving.
give writers even half of the attention and praise that they deserve and never complain about a lack of content ever again. because you’ll be drowning in it.
i promise.
(sorry to turn your ask into a rambly PSA, Babe, thank you for your support i appreciate you a lot okay bye 🖤)
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Drawn Together: Chapter 14
Happy birthday to Veneziano and Romano!
Three months passed, the friendship between Feliciano and Ludwig now as strong as steel. Yet, something has been bothering Feliciano about it.
Artisloveandlife: Do you think its strange how we ve been friends this long but we havent even seen each others faces
By now, Feliciano was also used to Ludwig's fast responses, even if he did scold him occasionally for it.
Artisloveandlife: People will think you re desperate
Lutzie71: Do you think I am desperate, Feliciano?
Artisloveandlife: Well no but others might
Lutzie71: I am only talking to you. Others don't matter now
Artisloveandlife: I dont think you understand how romantic that sounds
Lutzie71: It is just your mind
Point was, Feliciano was used to Ludwig's way of texting. From his perfect grammar to extreme time punctuation, but Feliciano liked him that way.
Lutzie71: I don't think it is all that unusual Lutzie71: There are people who enter relationships online, but have never seen each other  Lutzie71: On the contrary, I would call it an internet phenomenon
Artisloveandlife: Hmm Artisloveandlife: I guess your right Artisloveandlife: But i really wanna see your face Artisloveandlife: I bet you look super cute
Lutzie71: You're* Lutzie71: I don't see why not Lutzie71: But I want to see your face as well Lutzie71: It is only fair
Artisloveandlife: Deal Artisloveandlife: Show yourself warrior
*Lutzie71 has sent a picture*
Artisloveandlife: Wow you look like a viking Artisloveandlife: Are you a viking in secret Ludwig
Lutzie71: No, but I do have relatives in Scandinavia Lutzie71: Most people tell me I am scary at first, this is new
Artisloveandlife: Well you are kinda scary but i live with lovi Artisloveandlife: Nothing beats that
Lutzie71: That is reassuring Lutzie71: Now, a deal is a deal
Artisloveandlife: Wait im looking for the perfect lighting
*Artisloveandlife has sent a picture, half an hour later*
Artisloveandlife: I know it took me a while dont complain Artisloveandlife: Feat gino cuz we re cute
Lutzie71: I can't deny that Lutzie71: Gino steals the spotlight, but you aren't that bad yourself
Artisloveandlife: Very funny Artisloveandlife: Theres something else bothering me Artisloveandlife: Can you shorten you arent to yourent
Lutzie71: Feliciano, why Lutzie71: Let us go back to talking about pictures Lutzie71: I love the background in your picture
Artisloveandlife: Thanks Artisloveandlife: Its the view from my window on the adriatic sea Artisloveandlife: That painting i made for alice and otto was supposed to be of the adriatic but i messed up
Lutzie71: I still think it turned out perfect
Artisloveandlife: Thanks even tho you say that every time Artisloveandlife: Whats that behind you tho
Lutzie71: It is my brothers room and that is his poster of some metal band whose name I can't decipher Lutzie71: The letters are too bloody
Artisloveandlife: Can i see them
Lutzie71: Sure
*Lutzie71 has sent a picture*
Artisloveandlife: Thats slipknot
Lutzie71: That was fast
Artisloveandlife: Its art so Artisloveandlife: I can read anything
Lutzie71: I am impressed Lutzie71: I haven't asked today how are you? How is the situation with your family?
Artisloveandlife: Pretty good meo has midterms now and is freaking out and lovi is doing good Artisloveandlife: He found a better job and he seems to like it Artisloveandlife: And gino and pookie are as amazing as always im pretty sure pookie found a gf
Lutzie71: That is cute Lutzie71: My dogs are splendid as well
Artisloveandlife: And gil
Lutzie71: Annoying me
Artisloveandlife: Like a good big brother
Lutzie71: You could say Lutzie71: I hope you don't mind but I showed him your picture Lutzie71: He says you are cute and that he would like to go out with you one day
Artisloveandlife: Gil is str8forward Artisloveandlife: I cant date you gil you re too far away and i need cuddles
Lutzie71: You have broken his heart Lutzie71: Good job Feliciano
Artisloveandlife: Ill take that as a compliment
Lutzie71: Fine by me Lutzie71: He is crying now Lutzie71: Drama queen
Artisloveandlife: Gil could act in an opera show
Lutzie71: He has 0 talent for singing though
Artisloveandlife: Savage Artisloveandlife: Hey Ludwig Artisloveandlife: Its getting kinda difficult to talk on tumblr Artisloveandlife: I stopped getting your messages normally Artisloveandlife: Are you fine with switching to whatsapp or something
This time, Ludwig didn't respond as quickly as he usually would. His message came 20 minutes late.
Lutzie71: This feels like a good time to reveal Betty's secret Lutzie71: She actually gave me your number despite you saying no Lutzie71: She said it is all about the yaois and left
Artisloveandlife: Im  Artisloveandlife: Im going to kill her but before that thank you for being a good human being Ludwig Artisloveandlife: Unlike someone Artisloveandlife: You can send me a text then but i might not respond immediately im probably yelling at her
A couple of minutes later, as Feliciano was angrily texting Elizabeta hate messages, a message came from an unknown number. All that was written in it was Skree skree. Even after the whole situation with Lovino and Grandpa Rome was halfway resolved, Ludwig and Feliciano kept their pigeon talk, leading Feliciano to know exactly who it was.
♡~Feli~♡: Hi Ludwig
Ludwig: Hello Feliciano
♡~Feli~♡: I was just texting Lizzie how much i hate her how are you doin
Ludwig: Pretty alright Ludwig: She is reading me your texts at the couch Ludwig: I didn't know you were so vulgar
♡~Feli~♡: Yeah well i was really angry and she deserved it ♡~Feli~♡: I got it from my brother
Ludwig: I have never met them, but Betty tells me that Romeo is cute and Lovino is a prick Ludwig: Her words, not mine
♡~Feli~♡: Shes not that far from the truth ♡~Feli~♡: Although we all know im the cutest one ♡~Feli~♡: Do you want to meet my brothers
Ludwig: Someday yes
♡~Feli~♡: Okay
Feliciano pressed the camera button on the edge of his screen, calling Ludwig for a video call. It was either bad connection or Ludwig's anxiety that led to several attempts of this action before they finally managed to contact each other.
Feliciano smiled at his screen, Ludwig was going to hear his voice for the first time ever and he was going to hear his. "Hello!" He said, a bit higher than he wanted it to come out.
Ludwig looked around, nervous at this new way of talking, before finally responding in his natural voice. "Hello, Feliziano."
It was no secret that Feliciano cringed at the way Ludwig pronounced his name, but he mostly blamed it on the bad sound quality. "Your voice is so deep, please tell me a Kraken is not going to come out of your mouth. Also, that's not how you pronounce my name."
Ludwig tried his best to hide a smile forming at the corner if his lips, but Feliciano saw right through his pixelated face. "There are no Krakens in my mouth. If there were any, it is being digested right now."
"Oh, thank God." Feliciano laughed.
"You didn't tell me how to pronounce your name." Ludwig commented.
"It's a hard c, not a z. You're not saying Venezia, you're saying, uh..." Feliciano took a moment to look for comparisons. "Alice!"
"Feliciano." Ludwig tried saying it again.
"Much better."
"So, the same rules apply for i as they do for e?"
"Yes. But only if they come after c or g. And if you put h in between, then they are pronounced normally. C is k and g is g, like parcheggio." Feliciano explained.
"I see. What does parcheggio mean?" Ludwig asked.
"Parking lot." Feliciano said. "But that's not why I called."
"I quite enjoyed this conversation." Ludwig smiled.
"Of course you did. By the way, you're very cute when you smile. Now, do you wanna meet my brothers?" Feliciano asked.
Ludwig ignored the comment on his smiling face, avoiding the blush that would have otherwise be very obvious. "Why not."
"Okay. I'll give you a tour of the house while I find them." Feliciano said, getting up from his bed and showing Ludwig his room. "This is my room. If you can't tell it apart from all other rooms, mine has the best view. Remember that."
"Alright." Ludwig answered.
Feliciano exited his room and made his way down the stairs to the living room. "Our house should be a hotel." He said and Ludwig laughed. It really did have a lot of stairs.
When he was finally on the living room stairs, Feliciano spotted Lovino and Antonio on the couch, cuddling. "Hi, Toni!" He greeted.
Antonio waved at him and Lovino just looked at him, annoyed that his fun was ruined. Feliciano directed his attention back to Ludwig. "You get to meet Toni today as well. Lucky you, Luddy!" He said and jumped on the couch, separating Lovino and Antonio.
"Okay so, Ludwig, this is Lovi." Feliciano said, showing the phone to Lovino so Ludwig could see him better. "Lovi, this is Ludwig. He's my friend."
Lovino took a moment to take in Ludwig's appearance. "Feli." He called. "Why does that potato have hair?"
Feliciano was just about to tell him off, but Ludwig interrupted them. "When you leave a potato too long underground, it develops hair." Ludwig held back his laugh.
Lovino scoffed. "Well, aren't you a smartass."
"It is nice to meet you too, Lovino." Ludwig said.
"Fun fact. It's mine and Lovi's birthday soon. We were born on the same day two years apart." Feliciano chimed in.
"Best. Birthday present. Ever." Lovino said, Ludwig noted the sarcasm in his voice.
"And Meo was born in June. He betrayed us." Feliciano continued and moved his phone away from Lovino, towards Antonio.
Antonio offered Ludwig a big bright smile. "Hello!"
Ludwig was just about to answer, but Feliciano decided that wasn't going to happen today. "This is Toni. He's Lovi's boyfriend and we might have interrupted one of their make out sessions now."
"Don't worry about it, Feli. Nice to meet you, Ludwig." Antonio said, patting Feliciano's hair.
"Nice to meet you as well." Ludwig smiled. "I must say, you look rather familiar. Have you been to Germany before?"
"No. But I have a friend there. I met him when he got really drunk here in Italy." Antonio shook his head.
"That sounds like something my brother would do." As if he was summoned, a voice which probably belonged to Ludwig's brother chimed in.
"What is this gossip about the awesome me?" Another figure appeared behind Ludwig, with platinum white hair and piercing red eyes. A large smirk was glued on his face when he saw Feliciano on the phone, but it immediately turned to something less seductive when he noticed the person next to Feliciano.
Gilbert grabbed the phone from Ludwig's hands and took a closer look. "Toni!?" He asked.
Antonio's eyes went wide. Following Gilbert's reaction, he snatched the phone away from Feliciano and smiled. "Gil!"
Feliciano and Lovino were both watching their reactions. What in the world just happened? Neither knew the answer.
Gilbert continued. "What the hell are you doing there?"
"Feli is my friend. I had no idea he was friends with your brother! It's so nice to see you again, Gil!" Antonio answered.
"The world is too small for the awesome me. Still, I can't believe I'm seeing you there of all people." Gilbert shook his head like a grandpa.
Feliciano let the two of them talk for a little while more before joining Antonio on the screen. Gilbert smirked again when he saw him. "I'm glad you two got to talk it all out, but can I have Ludwig back please?" Feliciano asked.
Gilbert made a wounded expression at Feliciano's words. "Toni, call me." He said, making a phone gesture by his ear before passing the phone to Ludwig.
Ludwig just stared at Feliciano confused. "I have no idea what just happened."
"Me neither, but I'm glad they get along." Feliciano said. "Ready to meet Meo?"
Ludwig nodded and spotted his brother talking on the phone to someone. Judging by the voice he heard in the background from Feliciano, he suspected he was back to talking to Antonio. Feliciano's brother was sure to kill him now.
Feliciano walked back up the stairs to a dark hallway, at the end of it was a smaller room which Feliciano opened. However, instead of being met with light from the outside, he was met with more darkness and some tears. "Meo?" He called.
"Hm?" Came a sniffling answer.
"Midterms?" Feliciano asked.
"Yup."
"Can you talk now? I want to introduce you to my friend."
"Okay. Gimme a second." There was a shuffling sound and soon Romeo was up and smiling and Feliciano turned on the lights.
He walked towards Romeo's bed and sat on it, showing him Ludwig. "Meo, this is my friend Ludwig. Ludwig, this is Romeo. He's the youngest."
"Why you gotta rub it in my face? Nice to meet you, Ludwig. Don't listen to this guy, whatever he tells you about me, it's all lies." Romeo smiled.
Ludwig returned the gesture. "So, your name isn't Romeo and you're not the youngest?"
"Is that really all you have to say about me?" Romeo commented, pinching Feliciano.
"Ow! That's a good enough introduction, what do you want from me?" Feliciano said, caressing his wound from being pinched.
"My apologies. He did tell me more, but it didn't seem relevant." Ludwig said. "You're majoring in Chemistry, right? Good luck with your midterms."
"Yeah. They are a disaster, but I love blowing things up more." Romeo laughed.
"You are just like my brother." Ludwig said.
"I think we should leave now, Ludwig. Let Meo suffer in his pain." Feliciano said, smirking. This was revenge for pinching him before.
"Alright. Goodbye, Romeo. Good luck once again." Ludwig said and Feliciano took off, sticking out his tongue for Romeo, earning himself a middle finger up from Romeo.
The rest of the day, Feliciano and Ludwig spent just talking to each other. Elizabeta and her husband Roderich joined them briefly as well as Gilbert, but they mostly talked between themselves. Ludwig talked quite a lot about his dogs and Feliciano couldn't help his smile when he did. Ludwig was absolutely glowing when he talked about his dogs.
"Do you want to talk like this tomorrow again?" Feliciano asked. The clock on his wall showing that it was already well past midnight.
"Sure, I don't mind. If it is just the two of us." Ludwig said.
"Just the two of us then." Feliciano smiled. "Good night, Ludwig."
"Good night, Feliciano." Ludwig said and Feliciano broke the call. He voted the call as excellent and shut down his phone, his battery giving up on life as he did.
Feliciano laid down in his bed, thinking about what an eventful day it was. He recited some of the conversations between himself and Ludwig before falling asleep with a smile on his face.
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