#and she is and I’m like 🥺🥺🥺

[thecryptidbard]

“Oh fuck it these can’t all be clever” my girl. My beloved Guide. My sweetest blorbo who did absolutely 100% all of the crimes, who did so in the most elaborate dramatic way possible, who literally put on such an unnecessarily extensive show for…I can only assume the documentary crew and her own enjoyment and satisfaction?? Who sat kicking her legs, head propped up in her hands asking Laszlo if he’s *suuuurre* he doesn’t want any help??? Who came to see them all in their cages and LITERALLY said *teehee 😁* . Babygirl really said I am going to snap so goddamn fucking hard and completely, but I am going to do it with SHOWMANSHIP and PIZAZZ, she made SUCH a good murderboard (that says *OUCHY!* on it!!!) and then after all that just went….oopsie!! My bad!! Truly my hero you GO babe you’re doing GREAT please please never change

#wwdits #wwdits the guide #She is the absolute *god forbid women do ANYTHING* woman of all time 😍 #no thoughts. only her sad little Okie Doke 🥺 followed by 25 minutes of elaborate revenge #like I know big nandor/Guillermo stuff went down too I’m aware #but you see. the thing is. the GUIDE !! #best main cast addition in any show EVER since always sunny decided to add Danny Devi to #like so much of the elaborateness of the plan was just…absolutely unnecessary?? only the doc crew was watching at that point??? #but she still was just on a ROLL going ALL IN #the guide my absolute beloved #it speaks #wwdits season 5 spoilers #wwdits finale spoilers #the guide #the guide wwdits

[httpiastri]

i suddenly forgot how to breathe

#sitting in glass and trying to breathe properly #we have a guest lecturer and she’s extremely boring so tbh this saved me #but oh my GOD #the neck???? in a shirt like this….. okay #necklaces :(((( so sweet (and hot) #and the bracelet :( and his hand and the way he holds the glass and just- #no i’m not overreacting #someone please tell me i’m not overreacting #i love love love when he’s got his broccoli hair all curled up and huge but #this is also so sweet 🥺🥺🥺 when it’s more flat #just the tips curled up #i love it #his nose 😵😵 #okay i shouldn’t be on my phone in class bye #f2 #f3 #paul aron

[kneelingshadowsalome]

OK OK OK, but can we revisit the daughter "sitcom" scenarios?! I loved them sm.

Imagine Engel is out somewhere, like the store or whatever. Their daughter, who is about 12-13 at the time, just got her first period...😦

She just kinda awkwardly walks into the room and is trying to figure out how to tell him...

Konig is totally panicking, probably frantically calling Engels phone to get home ASAP. Poor boy probably didn't even know that you can get your period at that age and thinks some really bad is happening 😭.

But once everything has settled down, he starts to treat her the same way he treats Engel on her period, maybe even letting her stay home from school.

König is 1000 miles away from his comfort zone

I imagine the conversation goes something like this: (D=daughter, K=König, R/E=reader/Engel)

D: “I think my period just started…”

K: “Ja? Just remember to do your homework.”

D: “No, I mean… I think I just got my first period? I’m bleeding–”

K: “Bleeding? Where?? ”

D: “…??? There...?”

*uncomfortable staring and silence”

D: “I just… Do you know where mom keeps her pads?”

K: “...Pads?”

D: “Dad!! You’re just repeating my words!”

She leaves the room to look for the pads herself while König calls her mother: now imagine a colonel, a commanding officer of thousands of soldiers, responsible for important pre-decisions throughout the whole organization, calling his wife and asking what to do in this kind of a situation 🧍‍♂️ König is rubbing the back of his neck while walking anxious circles in the living room, almost bumps into a sofa while Engel calmly explains what's going on and that this is all completely normal.

When she comes back, König has just closed the phone, sighs, then takes a rather stiff stance to indicate he is about to give an important speech.

“Now then, my pretty young fawn. You are not my little girl anymore… Today, you’ve become a woman–”

“Dad, wtf?!? Ughh….”

She storms out of the room again, about to die from cringe: why does his father have to be such an embarrassment and an awkward mess? Why the hell did her mother even want this odd big loser as her man???

She’s sick of his stupid speeches and ridiculous rules and poor attempts at jokes, she's more than sick of listening to her parents’ disgusting cooing all the time. Only the noise canceling headphones can block out his dad’s profuse lovesick confessions before they start to bonk each other, thinking she can’t hear it all upstairs. Meanwhile she's not allowed to have a life of her own because the "world is a dangerous place"...

She can't wait to get out of this household, especially when even more cringeworthy conversations follow once her mother comes home. The only reason she's eavesdropping is because they're finally speaking of her instead of "how beautiful his sweet Engel looks" or "how silly and clumsy her big bear is":

K: “Does this mean she starts to have boyfriends?”

E/R: “She probably has had a few already.”

K: “What?!”

E/R: “Well not really. They’re just kids, fooling around. I wouldn't worry about it yet.”

K: “Should I talk to her about… you know, birds and bees? Just in case?”

E/R: “You? Absolutely not.”

K: “But–”

E/R: “I’ll talk to her at some point. They probably have sex education at school.”

K: “She can’t go to school. She said she was in pain.”

E/R: *sighs*

K: “What...? I already called them and said she's ill.”

E/R: “She's not ill, silly. It's just a period, it comes every month. You of all people should know...”

K: “Ja, I know... The torture days :)”

E/R: “Torture days for who?”

K: “I'm in so much pain every month, you have no idea...”

(Daughter upstairs makes a furious dive for her headphones :|)

#I’m fairly positive their future menace of a daughter had her first “boyfriend” when she was six #she chased the poor boy with a stick and thought it was true love #wonder where she got that from… #also König protecting his girls furiously when either of them is on their period 🥺 #hauling painkillers and chocolate and pads for them like it’s his job #practically preventing them from leaving the house #fighting anyone who tries to politely tell him that women can work and go to school even on their period #saga of könig's daughter #answered

[milimeters-morales]

Hobie, looking at old photos: who’s this lady?

Miles: oh that’s my mom when she was like in her early 20’s, she was really into goth stuff… i think she got arrested right after this photo though bc of a protest

Hobie:

Miles: stop giving me that look i’m never letting you near her.

#miles: stop giggling and twirling your hair it’s weird / hobie who wants to meet this woman so badly bc he admires her so much: 🥺🥺 #not in a crush way lol but genuine admiration and to hear that she used to be goth and ALSO go to protests when she was younger??? #he’s going to kill miles and take his place . well no im being dramatic but he would say that #i think hobie and rio’s meetings can be something so personal. woman who doesn’t have the time or energy most days to do the things she+ #used to be into / still likes & the younger person who wishes they were born at the same time so they could be friends. aguh #i’m thinking rio was like. romantic goth #well she dressed like it but she listened to all types of goth music #but yknow. family pressures + dreams of being a nurse and worried they wouldn’t hire her or take her seriously #miles morales #spiderman #spider man #hobie brown #spider punk #spiderpunk #m&m posts

[sinningtamer]

Swedish hospitality!

#belly kink #stuffing kink #grinded out like ten games of underworld to get this skin asap 🫡 #i’m mad she’s not more beefy in it but ill take a tummy window 🥺 #brgtt #ovrwtch

[coconut530]

❤️🥀A Strange Story of Life, Death, and Love🌹🖤

alt version here

#Nevermore #Nevermore Webtoon #Webtoon #6 #y’all can thank Miranda Mundt for this #First drawing meme I actually spent time on #Although it is inherently a sketch that got SOOOOO out of hand #I was bored and like “just try and draw Lenore” and then she came out -so- beautifully I had to go through with it #And Anna’s side profile didn’t turn out too bad! It could obvi be better but it could also be sooooooo much worse so I’m not complaining #I may do the other meme Miranda did of the billboard with my OCs sooo if you want stay tuned for that #Lenore’s dress was cool but smudging it to look right was not cool #My first time drawing alive Lenore and she’s so cute and adorable 🥺🥺🥺 #Hope y’all like :)

[dogthatlookshigh]

Really pleasantly surprised by Holga being a himbo

Edit:oh and I LOVE that shes sad and divorced

#honor among thieves #dungeons and dragons #dnd honor among thieves #also obsessed with the fact she loves tiny little men #like girl I’m a tiny little man🥺

[greg-montgomery]

rewatching 9x5 is not for the weak

#‘are you okay?’ ‘i am now’ his love for jack 🥺🥺 #‘she’s not you’ imagine being beth in this situation #bc this episode makes it clear that he never got over haley no matter how much he liked beth or not #if he could have haley again he’d drop beth with no second thought and it really shows in that episode </3 #i am not a fan of either relationship bc i’m jealous lol but it’s just sad to think about it #he never got over haley #never got over her death and never got over her as his first love #i mean he didn’t want the divorce in the first place so #hotch 🪐

[pxrxmoore]

was so caught up in the ‘bucktommy dancing at the madney wedding’ of it all i forgot about the whole ‘chim isn’t even gonna make it to the wedding for them to have a dance’ 😔

#is chim gonna be brutally injured next ep like?? holy shit i’m worried #911 spoilers #madney #bucktommy #maddie buckley #oh god she’s gonna be maddie han AAAAAAAAA 🥺🥺🥺 #chimney han #bp

[mymitochondriaforpresident]

Simon: *being treated with anything less than optimal love, happiness, care, kindness, adoration, protection*

Me: 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪

@anonfromtheflight: 🪓🪓🪓🪓🪓🪓🪓🪓🪓

#🔪🫱🏼‍🫲🏽🪓 #simon eriksson #simon eriksson defense squad #strife? unhappiness? #helllll nahhhhhhh!! #sick of this shit lol #can the POC kid rest for once #and can the interracial couple be happy for more then five minutes damn #imma need true payoff in S3 bc i’m still annoyed even after that sexy ass speech wille did in s2 #(even though that altered my brain chemistry in the best way and i wouldn’t even be here without it but i digress.) #i don’t want simon to forgive his sister unless she does something crazy to get back in his good graces #‘i’m sorry simon 🥺’ still makes me SO MAD like fuck outta here with that bullshit apology #only confessing cause she didn’t want her bed buddy to get his brains blown out #and we all know how i feel about september #jail is too good for him #hope he rots #we’re serving surgeon AND lizzie borden tonight fam!!!!!!!!!! #young royals

[quietwingsinthesky]

we’ve all said it before but ill say it again, sam should have gotten lucifer pregnant and that should have been the jack origin. if she was jessifer at the time, even better <3

#lucifer mommy truthing again hi hii he needs this #it won’t fix him it will make him worse but it’ll be hot to see sam tormented by the pregnant devil #☺️ sam going to attack jessifer and she goes ‘don’t you care about our baby Sam? don’t you want to meet him?’ #gets sam to touch her belly and talk to the baby and that’s when Jack does the whole ‘I’m The Perfect Paradise Baby Love Me 🥺🥺’ thing on sam #and now sam can’t kill her or their baby. he can’t. he loves jack too much. perhaps has also been hit with so many nephil happiness rays #that he looks up at lucifer and is like Oh. overwhelmed with sudden love for her. and his heads all mixed up. it’s like the vision where she #made him feel calm x1000 and. and. he loves her? he loves her doesn’t he? he gave her a baby and he loves her? #they’re going to raise their son together? and lucifer is so very pleased as sam presses his ear to her belly to hear jack’s heartbeat. #sam has quite literally been baby trapped. as in that baby set the trap and caught him in it before it was even sentient. mind control baby. #cue the rest of the pregnancy with lovestruck sam doing everything in his power to protect lucifer & jack #he’s like. fully aware he was scared of lucifer. that Lucifer is Bad this baby is Dangerous. but also. he loves them so much. #nothing else seems to matter when he loves them so much. #<3 I think Sam deserves to be mindfucked into being Lucifer’s little househusband for a bit. #oh. there are places this could go after Jack is born uhm uh. i uhm. that’s not the point I won’t say that. #the point is sam getting brainwashed to be happier and protective of pregnant!lucifer. and he IS happier. he’s just also high on good vibes. #😳 lucifer riding sam with his hand on her belly 😳😳😳😳 #tw pregnancy #anyway. thoughts. #samifer #lucifer spn #Jess!lucifer #Jack kline #sam winchester

[fizzytoo]

adrien and rua take amaya to meet rua's side of the family! rua's nephew, broderick, makes his introductions too!

#ts4 #ts4 gameplay #sims 4 gameplay #postcard legacy challenge #let it be known broderick's name was randomly generated #rua holding ama while he talks to his brother and dad 😞🫶🏽 so cute #adrien showing loren baby pictures and bragging about how smart she is 😤 “you wouldn’t believe how quick my ama learned to sit up” #both adrien and rua don’t cuss now that they have a kid. adrien never really cussed maybe he’d say fuck or shit but that’s rlly it #but you know who does cuss? ru’s brother makani. it’s a normal amount but to people who don’t cuss it’s like ‼️ #and it’s rubbed off on isabella (the toddler) whose new thing is cussing #that’s why she’s sitting on the couch pensively while adrien reads to her after getting in trouble 😭 #i’m so geeked rn bc i’m far enough in this legacy for my sims to have cousins !!! little amaya is gonna grow up alongside her cousins !! #imagine the sleepovers and the holidays 🥺 the closest cousin i have near my age is 3 years younger than me and we didn’t grow up near each #i rlly wanted them to adopt an older child (bc i don’t wanna play newborn-toddler stage 🧍🏽) maybe i’ll have them do that when ama’s a child #idk i’ll flip a coin to help me decide #sim: adrien herrera #sim: rua kamealoha #sim: amaya kamealoha #postcard: gen3 #queue

[figueroths]

friendship and chronomancy top two greatest magics of all time when are we gonna go back and save lucy who is now my friend

#🥺🥺🥺 #dimesnion 20 #fantasy high #fhjy spoilers #i’m going to be now because i’ve been up for like way too many hours and spent most of them doing schoolwork #but she is on my mind and i can just see her sitting cross legged in the forest reviving rats like a fucked up cinderella #and it is literally the sweetest moonbathed image i’ve ever seen #dhsjsjsks i stg i wrote time to begin with but then i reworded the post and my dumbass omitted it entirely #truly been awake too many hours to remember the bit

[hailperseusjackson]

rereading how annabeth describes her relationship with her father and her stepmom in tlt is so SO insane. there is absolutely no love lost there. i mean, i think on the most basic level there is, in the way that annabeth is 12 years old, and what 12 year old doesn’t want love from their parent, no matter how much their parent has hurt them in the past? (we see this directly paralleled with percy in tlt where he keeps thinking to himself/saying that he doesn’t care what poseidon thinks, that he hates his dad for abandoning him and sally, etc. but deep down he’s glad his dad claimed him and he wants to make his dad proud).

but when annabeth tells percy not to make a bargain with hades to save his mom, he asks her what she would do if it was her dad, and she says: “that’s easy, I’d leave him to rot.” And later, when percy asks if she’ll ever try living with her dad again, she says: “please. I’m not into self-inflicted pain.”

she was treated like an inconvenience; her father ignored her and resented her, so it’s a) no wonder she ran away, and b) not surprising that she clings so hard to her identity as a daughter of athena. she’s proud to be athena’s child. obvs her mom isn’t really in the picture either, but annabeth tells percy that when she ran away, athena helped guide her, and helped lead her to thalia and luke. in that way, athena helped get her out of an abusive household.

and the first time annabeth did try to go back home for a school year, she was back at camp by christmas, because it was that miserable. i don’t necessarily disagree with annabeth’s choice at the end of tlt to try again; she’s a little older now, more sure of herself, and percy’s advice obviously had some influence in her trying again.

but then the way frederick chase and annabeth’s stepmom are written in ttc, as concerned, kind parents. the flip got switched way too quickly and something just doesn’t add up, rick. annabeth’s descriptions are brutal and honest in tlt and i for one agree with her: frederick chase should rot in hell for how he treated his daughter.

#Rick took the cowardly way out and forgave frederick chase WAY too fucking quickly #like the math is not mathing #i’m also very emotional about her opening up and being so honest with percy about all this. she’s never had a friend like him and i’m 🥺😭 #i just love annabeth so much #annabeth chase #frederick chase #pjo #anti frederick chase

[olibensstuff]

NAMI IN THE STRAW HAT WHAT IF I CRIED

#NOW I’m done one piece posting #But look🥺🥺🥺🥺 #The crew loves her so much she’s so important to them #No one messes with a member of the straw hat crew and gets away with it💔💔💔💔 #Nami in the hat makes me crazy you don’t understand #Luffys friends are just as much his treasure as his hat is #And that makes me insane #The way treasure is talked about in one piece is so impactful like #When you call something treasure you say it with a capital “T” and you protect it with your life #And when luffy lets Nami borrow his hat he’s saying you’re my treasure and I’m gonna do everything I can to keep you in my life #Cause the crew loves her so much #opla #one piece netflix #one piece #one peice

[whovianderson]

Small Potatoes reaction: MSR edition

*inhale*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

“Scully, should we be picking out china patterns or what? THEY’RE SOOOO MARRIED

Not-Mulder: we never really talk much

Scully: what, like really talk? No, no we don’t

Not-Mulder: what’s stopping us?

They’re finally acknowledging it! Ohhhh this is going to have a lasting impact on their relationship, because Scully is realising that she DOES want to trust him with that side of things now that she’s been given the opportunity…

“I’m seeing a whole new side of you Mulder, I like it” on the surface, that hurts, because it’s obviously not him she’s seeing. But to be honest, I think Blundt is just channeling what he’s observed that the real Mulder wishes he could be.

OKAY NOW THE MOST IMPORTANT PART ARE YOU READY

OH

MY

FUCKING

GOD

THEY WERE ABOUT TO KISS WHEN REAL MULDER WALKED IN

✨SO HE KNOWS SHE WOULD KISS HIM✨

LET ME REPEAT THAT

✨✨HE KNOWS SHE WOULD KISS HIM✨✨

I WANT TO THROW UP

IM FREAKING OUT

AWKWARD FOR SCULLY

BUT

HOLY FUCK

OBVIOUSLY I WISH IT WAS THE REAL HIM, BUT COULD I HANDLE THAT?? PROBABLY NOT

God, they could barely look at each other in the next scene…

“Treat yourself, god knows I would if I were you” MULDER LISTEN UP

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

#the guy at the fertility clinic thought they were a couple trying to conceive (foreshadowing?? 🙏) #mulder dinging the bell for scully’s attention #my guy #them bickering about eleanor roosevelt #mulder dumping the dressing gown on scully lmao she was unimpressed #scully: you’re not a loser 🥺 #mulder: I’m not eddie van blundt either PLEASE IS HE TEASING HER FOR ALMOST KISSING HIM (or is he just insecure??) #yes I spelt blundt like that on purpose #pip watches txf for the first time and goes insane #4x20 #small potatoes #the x-files