#and realize that idolizing him and the fact that he never shows emotion and wanting to be like him even tho we are fundamentally different

[rollinouttahere-writes]

I wanted to write out the character dynamics between Lucky and the Straw Hats because I have fallen deep into the Little Lucky AU. At first it was just gonna be a series of one shots with little to no plot for funsies but now I’ve gone and fleshed it out into its own fully developed AU and I feel compelled to share my thoughts on it.

Since I have this happening right after Arlong Park, I realized that at most, they’ve known her for like a week and some change with Sanji only knowing her for a couple of days. I think that this would make adjusting to her becoming a child much easier because ultimately, none of them really knew her. Hell, with her amnesia Lucky barely knew herself. 

It would take about a week for everyone to accept that this is how it is now. The devil fruit user tried to warn them that the effects were permanent (meaning that she’s not going to suddenly switch back, not that she’s permanently 4 she is still going to age normally), but they thought this person was bluffing in order to get mercy or something. As time passes and Lucky is showing no signs of turning back, everyone begins to feel some regret about punting the user into the sea, but now it’s too late.

In Lucky Break, she doesn’t come clean about the truth of where she came from until after Enel is defeated in Skypeia, but in this AU she would tell them the truth during the Alabasta arc. After Drum Island when Nami is recovered because she felt bad for keeping it a secret when Nami was sick.

Luffy’s relationship with Lucky has by far been my favorite to develop, I find it super interesting. Despite not knowing the adult Lucky for very long, Luffy’s emotional intelligence being sky high helped him to understand her better than she probably even understood herself. There was something off about her, and he knew it within their first conversation. The way she had a tendency to shrink in on herself and physically close herself off, and the fact that her smile never once reaches her eyes told him a lot. He doesn’t know where she came from or what it’s like, but he can’t imagine it’s all that great if this is how she acts. He still wants to go there, but now it’s because he needs to throw hands with whoever made her that way. After she’s turned into a child, he immediately notices that she now has that spark that was missing from her eyes before, and he’s bound and determined to fan that spark into a flame so that he doesn’t see that same look when she becomes an adult again.

Having a small child on board does ever so slightly mature him. At first he’s like “Oh there’s a little kid here now? Fun!” but then it evolves into “Hang on I’m responsible for her”. He realizes that this little kid is going to depend on him for everything. Sure, he has his other crewmates to help, but as captain he feels the weight on his shoulder more.

After the Enel situation happens he becomes more noticeably mature and goes out of his way to hover around her more and make her happy. He’s more prone to involving himself in the actual childcare aspects of her life instead of just being ‘the fun best friend’ to her. He sits in on her appointments with Chopper and helps as much as Chopper will allow, both because he wants to help and also as a way for him to see what she had to go through in the moment that he wasn’t there to protect her. He also tries to give advice, mostly about following her dreams and understanding how valuable the freedom to do so is. He’s still her best friend at the end of the day, but there is an air of seriousness to it now.

Lucky idolizes Luffy intensely, he is her Shanks pretty much. Between him being her best friend and saving her, she wants to be just like him when she grows up. He’s the best person ever in her book and she will fight anyone who tries to trash talk him (much to the horror of everyone else who is rushing to stop her).

Zoro naively thought he would be escaping Lucky fussing over him now that she’s a little kid, but he was very wrong. She’s still trailing behind and yelling at him to sit down so she can “make it better”, but now she’s just got a box of colorful kid band-aids instead of actual bandages. Zoro is covered in a rainbow of band-aids at any given moment and he can’t even take them off because she’ll put more on there while scolding him. 

There’s a post where I talk about their interactions a little bit here. With the part about sword fighting, he is very serious about it, but if you look closely you can see small smiles here and there as she makes more progress. He is very proud. He wishes Kuina could have met her, he thinks she would have liked Lucky. Tries to shield her from the idea that she will only be able to go so far because of being a woman, he doesn’t want that stupid mentality weighing her down.

If someone asks him what his relationship to her is, he would state that he’s her teacher. If you asked Lucky, she would say he’s her big brother. Zoro feels like he’s going into cardiac arrest but keeps a straight face and says “that’s fine too”. Lucky looks up to him too, but she also lowkey likes to bully him in true sibling fashion. Like telling him to put his boobs away, running off with his sake, pulling pranks on him when he’s trying to nap, that kind of stuff.

Right after Arlong Park, Nami was feeling very attached to Lucky (tbh she’s the first to start showing yandere tendencies in Lucky Break), so she was honestly a little disappointed at first when they realized Lucky wasn’t turning back into an adult. She would never admit this out loud, but she did feel that way. She snaps out of it pretty quick though and declares herself ‘big sister Nami’. She gets very into it, and likes being the big sister for a change.

As far as she’s concerned, she’s the only responsible adult on board (until Robin comes in). As such, she’s constantly trying to keep Lucky attached to her hip because she’s worried that the others are going to hurt her by doing something stupid. This doesn’t work all that well because there are other people on the ship that are more fun and goofy than she is, so Nami spends most of her day running after Lucky. Lucky is the only person that she doesn’t have a tab for. She’s a little kid, and as adults, it’s everyone’s job on board to take care of her and that includes buying her stuff like clothes/toys/etc. Nami does teach her the value of money and how to be responsible with it for when she’s old enough to have some money of her own, but Lucky isn’t indebted to her or anything.

Lucky finds it a little odd at first when some woman she barely knows insists that she’s her big sister, but she goes with it. Nami can be a little bit of a stick in the mud, but Lucky knows that she can go to her when she needs help. Since they sleep in the same room (sometimes at least, there are lots of sleepovers in the guys’ room), Nami is usually the person she goes to when she has a nightmare.

Usopp is great with kids, and that includes Lucky. He found adult Lucky a little intimidating (for reasons we will get to soon enough), so he honestly gets along with child Lucky more. He loves having a gullible little kid around that he can tell his tall tales to, given that she’s too young to be able to immediately call bullshit. However, he doesn’t anticipate how many questions she’s going to ask about the story. He wasn’t ready for the constant flow of why’s, how come’s, and what’s that’s that get thrown his way. On the bright side, his improvisational skills skyrocket from this.

His job in regards to Lucky is to grab her in a dangerous situation and run away as fast as he can, a role he chose for himself. He does fall victim to being roasted by a tot over this because she will call him a big baby for screaming and crying (lessens post Enel). As a sniper, he is supposed to be further from the battle than others, so he typically is the best choice for her to be with. Like Zoro, he wants to teach her how to use his own weapon of choice and even makes her a tiny slingshot. This backfires because now she’s terrorizing him and Zoro with it (and also takes cracks at marines sometimes).

Usopp is her friend. He doesn’t have the title of best friend or big brother which hurts a bit, but he learns to cope. Lucky does spend a lot of time with him since she thinks he’s funny and fun to play with. He only helped her prank Zoro once because she immediately played innocent and threw him under the bus. That being said, only she can bully him, Franky better sleep with one eye open for beating him up!

Sanji is her dad now, and no one can rob him of that, he will kill for this title. He held off for a week tops after she was turned to make sure that she wasn’t just going to go back to normal, but after that he took a page out of Zeff’s book and adopted her. He wants to go back to the Baratie long enough to let Zeff know he’s a grandpa, but for now will have to wait. He’s always trying to get her to call him “papa” to varying levels of success. She doesn’t cooperate at first because she really doesn’t know him, but she’ll warm up eventually and start calling him that. Though she does sometimes switch back to using Sanji just to mess with him.

Lucky is his entire world basically. You thought he was obsessed with women? That pales in comparison to his devotion to his little princess! His wallet has more pictures of her in it than it has actual money. What money isn’t spent on getting food gets spent on her. If she looks at something for too long, she’s getting it. Nami gets on him frequently about spoiling her too much, even though he says there’s no such thing. Ironically, he has better luck with women now because he’s more toned down around them and it’s just cute to see a doting dad, but he is completely oblivious to it. He genuinely believes that the women are only approaching him because they think Lucky is cute and doesn’t even pick up on them flirting with him because he’s too busy showing off the pictures in his wallet. Nami thinks this is hysterical and won’t point it out.

He wants to cook with her so much, he’s always trying to involve her in the kitchen (with age appropriate things of course). There are limits to what she can safely do, but he’s happy just to have her in the kitchen as a taste tester if that’s all she can do. She doesn’t need to become a chef or anything, but he wants her to know the basics at the very least. If she wants to have a tea party, he’ll get her to help make the little treats to go with it and show her how to perfectly steep the tea. No imaginary tea parties on his watch. The one thing he’s strict on is her eating habits, she needs to stay healthy and that’s not up for debate. If she just genuinely doesn’t like something, that’s understandable, but she can’t just feed Luffy under the table to get dessert faster.

Lucky’s actual father was very emotionally and physically distant, so it takes very little time for her to latch onto Sanji as her new dad. When she does, she basically becomes a daddy’s girl overnight. Sanji gets pulled into playtime whenever he isn’t in the kitchen, whether it be including him in the tea parties, “styling” his hair with dozens of colorful barrettes, or simply making him get in on the games she was playing with the others. With how god awful his childhood was, it’s honestly a little healing for him. He’s happy that he can give someone else the childhood he didn’t get to have. 

Chopper doesn’t get to be the baby of the crew anymore. Lucky would probably be the first to be able to really get close to him on Drum Island, because even Chopper isn’t going to be scared of a four year old. Wary, but not scared. However, after seeing that she isn’t afraid of him and is genuinely trying to befriend him, he comes around. It’s shocking to him to learn that she’s part of a pirate crew, but also inspiring. If someone so young can do it, he can too! They’re fast friends and become thick as thieves. 

Lucky thinks all of his doctor stuff is super interesting and likes to watch when he’s making medicine. She asks lots of questions and also gives out compliments easily. Chopper even shows her how to do some very basic first aid since that’s a good thing to know in emergencies. He also goes over what plants are poisonous and to not eat anything she doesn’t know for a fact is safe. Besides the medical stuff, Lucky enjoys hanging out with him lots because she thinks he’s around her age (and does not believe him when he insists that he’s 15). 

Lucky keeps referring to him as her little brother and it’s driving him insane. No amount of “I told you I’m 15!” will stop her. She thinks he’s lying because they’re both the same height give or take so obviously that means they must be the same age. He can’t even grow into a bigger form because she’ll just say that it doesn’t count since it’s not permanent. Like Luffy, being responsible for the safety of a child does make Chopper slightly more mature. Don’t get me wrong, he will still run away if Lucky is already safe, but if she isn’t then he will square up. Maybe if she sees him protect her, she’ll start calling him big brother! She doesn’t.

Robin feels so conflicted when they first meet. It’s one thing to be taking on grown adults that knew what they were getting into by taking on Baroque Works, it’s another to see a small child being dragged into by association. She intentionally leaves Lucky out of reports to Crocodile. She keeps hoping that Lucky will be dropped off somewhere else and be off the radar, and feels sicker and sicker as they keep getting closer to Alabasta. She’s just a little kid and doesn’t deserve to be dragged into something like this.

After joining the Straw Hats, she finds herself drawn to Lucky, and even uses her name. She does some mental gymnastics to justify this by telling herself that technically it’s a nickname so she’s in the clear. She’s totally not getting attached, she tells herself as she tucks Lucky into bed and reads her a bedtime story. It doesn’t help that Lucky follows her around like a duckling because she finds her very mysterious and cool. Having Lucky think that her devil fruit and all her knowledge is awesome really warms her heart.

It takes a while for her to be called it (post Enies Lobby), but she becomes the mom of the group. Unlike with Sanji, Lucky came to call her this entirely on her own. Robin needs a minute after she gets called that for the first time. That being said, she fills the role well. She’s got that calm and caring vibe to her, while also being a total mama bear. If anyone looks at Lucky the wrong way, she’s eliminating the threat on the spot. Her baby is not about to be punished for existing with what the government deems to be “bad people”. She’s harsh towards anyone she sees as a threat, but especially with marines/government agents. 

Franky is definitely surprised to see a little kid with the Straw Hats, but it also earns some respect from him. He appreciates seeing pirates that don’t just abandon their children, thank you very much. Franky has an energy to him that kids love, and Lucky isn’t immune to it. Granted, at first she just wants to fight him and he can expect to be pelted with pebbles from her slingshot until she’s forgiven him for the Usopp incident. He doesn’t take this personally. In fact, he encourages it. Hell yeah kid! You stick up for your friends! Show me who’s boss! His attitude makes it very hard for her to stay mad for long, especially with Usopp telling her that it’s okay they already made up.

His goofball personality and eccentric behavior make him a lot of fun to be around. On top of that, Lucky likes to sometimes watch him work. He’s very quick to engage her in it, too. He’ll explain what he’s doing and why in great detail, and is happy to answer any questions she has. He’ll even let her hold a flashlight for him even though he has his own built in. Very supportive if she wants to learn more from him, but won’t push it either.

After Lucky comes around on him, she calls him uncle Franky. He’s just got those fun uncle vibes to her. He truly loves the title and is proud of it. He gets a bit cocky and asks if he’s her favorite uncle only to get humbled by her saying no with zero hesitation. Sorry, Franky, you’re no competition for uncle Ace. Despite the devastating blow to his ego, he is a very fun uncle and is insanely protective. 

#lucky break #little lucky au #monkey d luffy #luffy #roronoa zoro #nami #cat burglar nami #one piece nami #usopp #sanji #black leg sanji #tony tony chopper #nico robin #franky the cyborg #cyborg franky

[joons]

barbie is a fun, clever, visual feast with some lovely moments that i am happy to see resonate with people. the movie is definitely worth seeing. but i would only give the film a 3.5/5.

i am now going to talk at length about my thoughts on the film, most of which will be an attempt to understand what is being said here.

i think barbie's acceptance of the gender wars as inevitable and perpetual ends up being more regressive than a lot of what it's trying to critique. it mostly ends in a healthier place, but along the way, it has little ability to make meaning outside of that frame. i loved the interactions barbie had with older women, particularly ruth, and i think there's a wonderful message there about girls needing both aspirational role models and grounded older mentors who can help them manage any obstacles they find. what a wonderful theme, and one that is given subtle, genuine weight, which i prefer over the more overt, "telling" moments the film does throughout. but a lot of the story gets sidetracked in assuming women's role is tricking men (a role foisted on them as a reaction to the patriarchy, so don't blame them) and that any true reconciliation or mutual support between men and women is only based on pity. i think the film could have landed better as a reflection on womanhood if it actually dared to be about ... women. if it could imagine women as more. if it truly tried to show the complex roller-coaster of emotions instead of staying stuck in one gear.

i have seen people say how ironic it is that ken is the best part of a barbie film, but it's true, on even deeper levels than people realize. why is ken the only one with true agency, whose feelings are true to himself and not a reflection of someone playing with him? where is the boy playing with his sister's dolls and desperately trying to understand why he feels so inadequate? why are those questions never asked in a film that generates endless questions and observations about human frailty? none of the barbies are capable of doing anything for themselves; they are easily brainwashed by the kens, and all it takes to shake them out of it is a speech about how "complex" women are. kens just have to accept themselves as they are to be happy; barbies have to believe they are doing something productive and worthwhile. except main barbie, who feels like she can't do anything meaningful, because this movie thinks the different barbies are genuinely incapable of doing something if they don't have an outfit to go with it. if the point is that she feels less than because she has seen the real world and feels unprepared for it, well, none of the other barbies would have fared better. astronaut barbie couldn't get a job at nasa, just like beach ken can't get a job at beach. the one time we see barbie make a choice for herself, unprompted by others, unburdened from her anxieties, is to ... go to the gynecologist. um. empowering. i guess.

(i think the ken/barbie plot would have worked better if they were "packaged" together. there's no real reason this ken has the crisis, why barbie feels any special responsibility for him.)

the fact that barbie begins to feel angst and anxiety as a result of real women's insecurities is fascinating; in being the avatar of girls' hopes, she also becomes their "competition," a symbol of all their grief and all their inadequacies. maybe you can see how kens get off easy here; they are not evolved enough; they will never be chosen by the gods as friends or idols or objects of hatred. that could have been explored more, especially through the mother-daughter relationship. why do teenagers begin pulling away from their mothers? perhaps for the same reason they grow out of barbie, because they want to be something beyond the touchstones of femininity they have. they want to be their own person and have to separate themselves, but the girls their age are obsessed with tearing each other down and taking their insecurities out on each other because they feel broken. barbie was experiencing that rejection for the first time. the film could have had something to say about how women can be cruel to one another as they struggle to find their own paths, but it's understandable and part of learning to identify what feels real and true to you. but none of the human characters have enough screentime to address any of this.

i liked the point that women dolls are saddled with the same impossible standards that many women feel. they're blamed in society for women's insecurities and also become totemic, like, "we gave you barbie, what more do you want?" i get that, i get the frustration that animates some of the plot, but i couldn't relate to it all that much. but it does ring true for me that b a r b i e as a concept, a company, a doll, is not the problem or the solution. she's just cool.

("why not make barbies that are relatable and normal?" the movie suggests. oh my god....... 💀 💀 💀 what year is this?)

i think allan (almost inadvertently, or at least subtly) makes the movie's best point: the lack of expectations can be an incredible gift. without them, you are free to become your own person on your own time instead of feeling less than because you're comparing yourself to others. we must all be allan. allan is our friend.

there are honestly so many smart concepts and sly commentary here that feel buried in Telling Not Showing; like the ken war was SO funny, and it would have hit hard if we saw the barbies struggling to find a way to understand and interact with the kens ... and they decide to play nice before realizing jealousy and competition seem to motivate the kens ... and then the kens do the most ken thing and do a normandy reenactment to gain women's attention. that's so archetypal, such a funny nod to the cyclical weirdness of human history, to the idea that women (and men) work within the system that is created for or against them, using the tools they have, living up to the gender roles/models they've been taught! but because the characters are like "i know what we will do. we will manipulate them and then they will go to war because they are men!" it's like ... ugh. it messes up the pacing of that whole sequence. it kills the surprise and delight of watching it unfold, so all we can react to are the sight gags (giving mouth to mouth to the horse lmaoooo) and the juxtoposition of war film and gene kelly musical. but the actual gender role commentary is stated so explicitly, afraid to question itself, afraid to say anything surprising or insightful, that it amounts to putting everyone right back in their box. the film tries to balance this at the end, pitying patriarchy as a cope against death, trying to empower the kens to be themselves, but it refuses to imagine any true healing or change, anything beyond "well, kids need to imagine barbieland as a matriarchal utopia, even though we have established that doing so leaves them unprepared for a world of unfair standards they can't control." all women can expect to do is fight for a land of dreams, but always know that the most that land can achieve is creating an image that will be sold back to them as empowerment. genuinely, what the FUCK is the point of this film. oh, it's too hard to say that imagination is what makes us human and that ultimately means more than the object. again, the film will outright state some version of this idea ("I want to do the imagining, I don't want to be the idea"), but every other part of the plot undercuts it with its own failure to imagine women as more than reactive.

and it had the chance to let women be real characters! (hell, does this movie even remember that barbie has Lore, a Family, a Last Name, that she hasn't been "just a doll" in a long, long time?) but the film seems to set up plots that would have given us organic interactions and fully realized characters. i got so excited when america's character, gloria, showed up, because okay, we're going to be able to explore womanhood through the eyes of a real person, we're going to see the push and pull between idealized utopias and dreams and real-world survival and hope and despair by learning more about her. but no. gloria is there to give a speech that doesn't sum up her life and her passions but all women in very generic terms. it's not experiential, it's definitional (and it's a definition built on what a woman is not -- not this, not this, can't be that). it is relying on the audience to point and say, "i recognize that," instead of building gloria as a person we love and know and laugh and cry with. you are building a wall between the story and your audience; if they never had "complicated feelings" about barbie, if they aren't sure why gloria cares so much about the doll while her daughter has such a negative reaction, then it is not going to let them in and explain that. it is going to say, "if you don't get it, you are brainwashed, probably, or a man, and you don't want to see it, and i am not going to open it up to you because it is an exclusive club, intentionally, because it is the only club we have, and i am not going to open it up to further ridicule or commentary, even though that is what this entire movie is doing." gah! tell a story! tell a STORY! surprise me! why are we just pointing at things?

i'm telling you, when barbie sits on that bench and has an interaction with an older lady, who is totally at ease in her own skin, who is un-selfconscious and not angry and peaceful, it brought immediate tears to my eyes. it was such a breath of fresh air. a real person, reacting in a way that surprises and moves you. what was her story. who is she. what is her secret to confidence and balance, and how can women share that with one another. no no no, go go go, take on capitalism and patriarchy until you're too tired to remember how to laugh, this is healthy and good. @~@

ultimately i am talking about the themes i wish were there or wish were more emphasized because the messages that are there feel contradictory. for instance, the kens' patriarchy is shallow and cartoonish, both in barbieland and the real world (that mattel executives were just as stupid and pointless as TOY PEOPLE was so INTERESTING to me; like what does it mean that men can still "play," and get paid enormously for it? but it's kind of just "isn't this dumb"), and the barbies are more than happy to manipulate their kens' emotions to get what they want. america ferrera tells barbie she is justified to feel mad at ken for what he did to her and her friends. but in the next scene, barbie comforts ken and connects to his feelings of vulnerability. it feels like the movie is rolling its eyes through the scene, when it could have been a really beautiful, sweet moment where humanity is recognized as universal, a true "man was not meant to be alone" moment of meaning, turned inside out and shaken and reconfigured as complementary and supportive, where barbie and ken realize community is crucial to weathering their own insecurities and flawed emotional responses, and maybe you can need someone without making it your whole personality. maybe the fear of connection is something all girls start to struggle with as they become teenagers, and they need that world where men don't want anything from them, and they want to cling to it a little longer than necessary. but because it's been bookended with "of course he's going to cry about it, don't give in, it's not your job to support him," the emotional core of the scene is undercut by shallower stuff. the scene genuinely reads like "placating men is important and you should do it," which is INSANE to me, but that's what is coming across with the wild whiplash between rage and sweetness, denying kens any humanity the whole film and trying to patch it up right at the end. barbie's ennui stems from the fact that a weary mother is playing with her, but the rest of the barbies - and the film as a whole - feel puppeted by the surly teenager who has not moved beyond rage-filled one-liners. i don't like that this is the case because those moments of human connection (barbie with the older woman on the bench, the mother-daughter relationship, even ken trying to understand why he cares so much what other people think of him) are so great. we're just supposed to ... not apply compassion to characters the film doesn't like. and we are supposed to like the characters we do like not because we are experiencing their lives with them but because they are saying The Right Things Loudly.

(and don't you love how the film even has a prepackaged response to being criticized? wanting men to be real people is brainwashed behavior. wanting women to have thoughts that go beyond regurgitated feminism 101 catchphrases is asking too much of a plastic toy. it's just a reflection or reality, see, but it's also exaggerated satire. i think the glib tone just crept into everything and made for some wild subtext that i don't even think the film recognizes.)

greta gerwig is more successful at dealing with the tension between made "things" and real life in little women. jo, as a stand-in for louisa may alcott, is resistant to getting jo "married off" and only caves in to get the book published. but the life and joy still sing in the scene where she reunites with bhaer, even when the audience is already primed to see it as artificial and cynical. the play between what jo says she wants and what jo indulges in is obvious; we can find joy and light even in the things that feel like a compromise of our principles. sometimes they are better than life, better than what we could imagine, they take on lives of their own, they become little women who exist off the page and no longer have to carry the burden of being "The One Narrative For Women" because they spark thousands of other stories and hopes and longings that the author doesn't have to be responsible for. as much as i waffle on whether i like the ending of gerwig's little women, it's clear that part of greta is throwing up her hands, in a "but what do i know?" gesture ... indulgent romance might just be the little antidote we need to stave off the lonely feelings we get sometimes. it's not weak, it's not a compromise, it's just cool.

for whatever reason, she doesn't bring that same verve or ambiguity to this film; she can't infuse barbie with meaning beyond what her critics say about her. barbies, like women, have to be perfect, but they can't be. they can't be totems, but they are. we must get away from them, but we can't. they are creations of men, but women can't think their way out of the box. barbie is an immortal ideal, but none of what she symbolizes has any impact.

"that's the point. it's complicated," greta says to me. "my job here is done."

"but declaring things complicated is not a point of view!" i yell back. "you didn't do anything!"

maybe i am too invested in barbie to even recognize that people have such negative feelings about her. maybe i have seen this premise done better in the lego movie, teen beach movie, barbie: life in the dreamhouse! (all of which genuinely love toys and kids/teen media and are not using them to sort out their own disgruntled feelings — and have a genuine belief that even flawed media bankrolled into existence can be real art, something gerwig seems so skeptical about that she lets her ambivalence about taking on this particular directorial gig become the driving tension in the story. how ... relatable?) maybe i have unresolved issues with greta's themes from little women and am now realizing how little she seems to get the things that matter to me, and we just need to part ways.

as anthony lane writes in the new yorker, "maybe the movie is for greta gerwig. and, by extension, for anyone as super-smart as her—former barbiephiles, preferably, who have wised up and put away childish things."

to that, i'd put a quote from c.s. lewis, whose work greta will soon try to get her hands around: "when i became a man i put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up." the soul shudders at a narnia, a barbieland, a march family home, that are only notable for how "complicated" our feelings about them are supposed to be, and i think that puts my thoughts on greta's work into words.

now ... proust barbie, i would buy.

#barbie spoilers #did not appreciate the zack snyder dig either obvs obvs #barbie #barbie (2023)

[extraorminary]

Okay but have you ever sat down to contemplate the possibility of Orm ever thinking—no matter how fleeting the thought—that he was partly to blame for Atlanna’s unhappiness? 

I have reasons for this. Hear me out. I’m going to focus on comics!Orm here.

This is a man who grew up witnessing horrifying fights between his parents. He had to watch his mother, who was most likely the only person to ever show him any sort of affection, get beaten by the extremely abusive man she was forced to marry (and then get beaten himself in turn). He grew up with the knowledge that he had a brother, whom he idolized and loved deeply, on the surface world, and you can’t convince me it took long for him to realize his mother had been forced to leave her surface family in order to fulfill her duty to her kingdom—to marry a cruel man she didn’t love in order to have Orm, the heir Atlantis needed.

And it doesn’t matter if Atlanna never did anything that even remotely implied she felt any sort of negative emotion towards him. Pretty sure it was the opposite: if anything, I’d say she doted on him quite a bit. Because even if she wasn’t always the best of mothers in the comics, I have no doubt she loved her son. In fact, nobody can tell me Orm wasn’t a complete mama’s boy as a child. But look me in the eyes and tell me that teenage Orm, left to be a king with no living family left in the entire ocean, never had even the vaguest feelings of shame and guilt at the sudden reminiscence of his mother, badly hurt after a rough encounter with Orvax, glancing at him and forcing a smile with her face bruised and the most exhausted look in her eyes. Tell me that, despite the memory of his mother’s warm embrace and her gentle whispers of how much she loved him and how special he was to her, there wasn’t a small voice in the back of his mind suggesting that every time Atlanna looked at him, she was forced to recall all the times she ever suffered at the hands of Orvax—that she was forced to see Orvax every single time her eyes fell upon him.

Tell me he didn’t grow to believe, and accept as pure fact, that in his mother’s heart he was always second-best. He was his mother’s biggest treasure, sure, but deep down he was convinced that Arthur had claimed ownership over the biggest part of her heart. I’m sure Atlanna would have told him, entirely honest, the complete opposite time and time again every time she mentioned his brother, but it’s also not hard to picture Orm having trouble accepting her words after hours spent ruminating. In his logical mind, it was simple enough: Arthur was the child her heart wanted, born out of love in a union of sweet passion with the love of her life, while Orm was the child her body was forced to have, out of duty and obligation to Atlantis, in a deeply unhappy marriage she’d had no choice in.

And I’m not saying it troubled him. Not always, at least. I’m sure it was difficult to come to terms with it at first; he was probably deeply hurt the first time his brain created the idea during his adolescence. However, with time Orm would have gone from viewing things emotionally to analyzing everything rationally. It is the only way for an Atlantean king to withstand the pressures of the crown without going mad, after all. As a teenager, the idea that he had a role in ruining his mother’s life was an insecurity. As a fully grown adult, it was merely one of the many ugly realities of life. His mother’s torment had begun with the monster she married, and it culminated with the child that finished tying her to Atlantis. And Orm had no choice but to learn how to adapt, to ignore the ache in his chest every time the thought popped up, because otherwise it would have broken him.

And in the end, it all played perfectly into his father’s plans: he wanted to raise a king who would not be affected by something as ridiculous as emotions, and finally he was successful.

#sad hours #someone tell me im wrong #because this hurts #but also i can totally see it #at first it would hurt him #then he'd get used to it and accept it as truth #and he'll never think otherwise #because he thinks his mother is dead #he can never be truly happy can he #orm marius #ocean master #aquaman #dc comics

[mamadarama]

I was going through some posts I missed and came across the “tatsumi is mature but still does 19 year old things” and I just wanna say I’ve never been able to put it into words when my friends ask but like. That’s exactly what I love about this game.

We’ve got scandals and drama and weird crypto currencies and convoluted backstories of implied murder or identity theft or military shit or relations to underground gang activity or so SO much more and yet the writers still succeed in reminding you that this is a game full of high schoolers.

Natume was one of the five oddballs and suffered through so much during the war where it affects him to this day, but he also refers to his tech savvy and love of the occult as magic and loves the junior he “adopted” to death. Despite Aira struggling against every odd to become a real idol he still buys merch and looks on the internet to look for content of the ones he likes. Rinne was destined to become the monarch of his homeland but ran away in an attempt to find happiness and acceptance and is an amazing strategist who uses it to take down corruption, but his sense of humor is entirely made up of sex jokes and romantic teasing like Aira being “hiiro’s little girlfriend”. The amount of characters that assign themselves the mom friend role just because. Trickstar. I don’t think I need to explain Trickstar-

Like this game has made me cry so many times and it has its ridiculous moments but it also has its genuine ones while also being the most teenage shit I’ve seen in my life and I feel like so few media can balance those and still have a decent story like that. Sorry for the long ass post I just have so many feelings about this kind of stuff 😭

YEAH this is exactly what i was talking about in a previous ask when i said i have nothing meaningful to add to the enstars cast that isnt a headcanon . its all very well thought out and the interpersonal relationships are nuanced enough to feel realistic but outlandish enough to be interesting .

worldbuilding and character design is one of my special interests and i say this any chance i can get: the most important part of building a character (and a story in general) is realizing the importance of comedic irony and comedy as a whole regardless of genre or tone. it makes characters feel more 3 dimensional and relatable because people arent stagnant and theres multiple facets to any individuals personality (this is also why some of the most popular animes of all time have filler episodes or funny bits that show the characters personalities, every event hits with 3x emotional impact the more you know about the characters as people but that's a different discussion) enstars does a really good job of this . like for example if wataru were to have had a realistic reaction to eichi starting the war it wouldnt be nearly as good of a story. the fact that eichis ridiculous ass backwards plan to get wataru to fall in love with him actually worked is a perfect example of comedy used to make a story more interesting. another thing similar to this is how sometimes its better to not detail something and let characters do things for a mundane reason or even no reason at all . for example subaru hating chiaki just because he annoys him, or shinobu being on the broadcasting team despite his character not being associated with technology otherwise and therefore having no real backstory on why he likes radio stuff. its all really well planned worldbuilding with an insane amount of subtle details , which is why enstars is one of my favorite stories to analyze . the only thing i could possibly want more out of it is hardcore tragedy but thats entirely a personal preference rather than a critique because im a slut for catharsis and i love sad endings , especially ones where characters die . (don't worry im in therapy)

#ask #anon

[littlebabytimmybird]

gonna be an unpopular opinion but the way fans treat tim is really indicative of how society views autistic people. tim is HIGHLY autistic coded, from his extreme interests to his social awkwardness.

in early comics with him in them, tim is actually a pretty good representation of autism. he is shown to have a strong interest in batman and robin/nightwing, he doesn't realize when he's upsetting people, and he often goes about things in a blunt, clumsy way. even the way he speaks fluctuates between being incredibly articulate to incredibly childlike. he seems simultaneously innocent and all-knowing, childish and an old soul. all of this is common in level 1 autism spectrum disorder. tim is clearly gifted but he isn't a super-genius, he's just a talented and dedicated kid. although he didn't have to work the hardest of all the robins in general by any means, he did have to work the hardest to become a robin, as he lacked any training before that and came from a privileged background where he had been somewhat coddled by his families wealth. even jason had fighting experience, tim did not.

another aspect of tim's character that is a good representation is his empathy. there is a theory of empathy that says there are 3 types, emotional empathy, "I feel as you feel", cognitive empathy, "I understand how you feel", and compassion, "i want you to feel better" like many autistic people, tim is somewhat lacking in the second category but has an abundance in the third. he talks openly about the death of jason in front of bruce dick and alfred without realizing it could upset them and is shocked when they react with anger. he often gets himself in trouble by saying things that come across as rude or blunt without meaning to. however, he is incredibly compassionate and deeply cares for the people around him, showing that he is very capable of empathy.

a major autistic trait tim embodies is what psychiatry calls an "uneven profile". uneven profiles are when someone is very skilled in some areas but behind in others. tim is a clear example of an uneven profile because he is highly intelligent and learns practical skills like fighting quickly, but he is lacking in non-practical skills. he has a black-and-white way of thinking about good and evil that is more commonly seen in young children than in teenagers. he idolizes batman and nightwing and it takes him years to learn that they have flaws like any human. a large part of tim's journey is learning to overcome this style of thinking but it is still a clear developmental delay in the beginning.

overall, tim is a compassionate, warm, and intelligent, yet flawed character. he is a sweet and clever kid with a big heart (sometimes too big).

so why is it that in fanon, tim is portrayed as a cold, calculating, all-intelligent super genius with no autonomy? disregarding the fact that it is an insult to his character, it is also an insult to autistic people in general, especially when people claim they headcanon him as autistic but use the fanon version of him.

there are 3 main ways that autistic people are viewed in fandoms:

The Artificial Intelligence. the artificial intelligence autistic stereotype pins us as robots, capable of great feats of intelligence but incapable of emotion. this is the most neutral of the stereotypes, as we are not seen as human and therefore not stigmatized as humans.

The Man Child. despite its name, the man-child autistic stereotype can apply to any age or gender. the man-child autistic's primary trait is being annoying. they are likely savants, but they use their skills to be obnoxiously pedantic. they are unreasonable and demand everything be to their specifications at all times. sheldon cooper from the big bang theory fits into this category.

The Woobie. these woobified autistic characters will always be found wearing oversized clothes and having shutdowns but NEVER meltdowns. they cry often and need to be held and comforted by friends and family who serve as caretakers to the 'helpless baby autistic.'

and when the people who claim to like him write about him, tim is never held responsible for his actions, he never takes others into account, he is a tech genius and he has questionable morals, or doesn't seem to have a moral code at all. he has a troubling coffee addiction and lacks sleep at all times but, like any good supercomputer, he can go out and patrol just fine despite it. he is a machine, running on air and spite.

it is mostly tim's haters who portray him in the second way. that's when you get a tim who is selfish and snobbish, mostly towards poor innocent damian wayne who has never done anything wrong in his life.

sometimes, tim is written so he can't take care of himself. when he does have emotions, they're all sad ones. he cries himself to sleep, and dick or bruce or even jason for some reason have to come and comfort him. they force him to stop drinking so much coffee and to go to bed at a reasonable hour even as an adult.

now, don't get me wrong. there are some autistic people, quite a few actually, who do need to be taken care of as adults. hell, I'll probably be one of them to some degree. but even with someone who will never be able to live alone, autonomy is the most important thing to remember. people should always be allowed to make their own decisions as much as they are capable of. and tim in fanon has almost no autonomy. it is, plainly speaking, a huge fucking insult to the disabled community.

When the first and third stereotypes are mixed, you get a cruel mockery of an uneven profile. similar to the manchild trope, this is a tim who needs everything his way, but this time it's all given in to by those around him.

so, in conclusion: in early comics tim was an excellent accidental portrayal of low support needs ASD, but fanon took away all his positive autistic traits and turned him into a shallow stereotype of an autistic person and a mockery of all his actual autistic traits. even the seemingly harmless coffee-lover headcanon feeds into the horrific stereotypical treatment of his character.

#tim drake #batfam #autistic batfam #autistic tim drake #tim drake robin #tim drake rant #rant #autism headcanons

[reitheist]

bucchigiri ep 9 thoughts:

taken over huh... is that also what senya is doing to arajin maybe? like with the magic trampstamp (words i never expected to write...)

shindo is a bitch and pathetic but i enjoy his character unfortunately (in my defense, my interpretation of him threatening to do That to mahoro was just to make arajin pissed and get him to reveal senya. i think it was kind of narrative low-hanging fruit honestly.)

'is that a yes or no' take a wild fucking guess buddy

zabuuuuuu you are such a good friend

senya hitting people as a show of affection lol

matakara gathering money, presumably he was saving to get an apartment with his brother. what's he planning to use it for?

oh my godddd the cat boy drama 💀 this side gag is so stupid but so funny i love it. i imagine jasmine as as a pure white long hair cat and pu'er as a classic brown tabby. also cat boy getting way too invested in his personal life is *chefs kiss*

arajin is trying his absolute best to convince himself he doesn't care about matakara

the dynamic between komao, zabu, and ara is really funny. i think in other shows they might just sideline the friend characters but they really have an awkward 'friend of a friend' dynamic i like. komao isn't really socially aware enough to be mean to ara despite being him being mean to matakara, and zabu is more hostile but puts most of that aside for matakara's sake. it's like your friends scoping out your awful crush lmao

THE LIFE SIZED NAKED MARITO DOLL? EXCUSE ME??? there is so much wrong with mahoro oml

wait is the life sized naked marito doll marito's? that's somehow weirder.

mahoro, is that concern for a person who isn't your brother? wow

matakara :(

so is the 'monster' literal or metaphorical? interesting

ichiya you're hot as hell but stop telling matakara to draw away from his friends you bitch

'one person would've wanted it' stopppppp 😭 arajin is realizing he liked having matakara around while matakara is being turned against his friends by ichiya. the dramatic irony is killing me

the fact that this 'love forever stone' is a lake blue stone wrapped specifically in a blue cloth as well... that thing is definitely going to be given to matakara by the end, right? pretty gay if you ask me.

ohhhh my god mahoro character growth. plus her relating to him specifically through their shared brother idolization is a good touch. very sweet

mahoro's basically saying like "dude how are you only focused on yourself and me right now. how have you not noticed your childhood friend is depressed and crazy in love with you. like seriously he has not been subtle. at all." lmao i love herrrrrrr

mahoro deserves her own show

also relieved to have ara's interpretation of matakara and mahoro's relationship as romantic to be kind of trivialized again in this scene. i think their dynamic is more interesting as two very different personalities which share just enough to relate with each other. she only wants ara to get his shit together for matakara's sake. i want them to be besties please

arajin is The Worst with emotions huh. he can't read other's feelings and he's somehow worse at reading his own. he needs to stop being relatable right this second

yknow at this point i think i can say i truly and properly enjoy arajin as a character. he's mostly an asshole and deeply emotionally unintelligent but i like him regardless and because of it

ah senya ichiya and arajin matakara parallels as i expected

so does senya=matakara and ichiya=arajin kind of?

i really wasn't joking about them being exes huh

stoppppp ichiya gave him his name? senya was and continues to be so ridiculously down bad

'he meant absolutely everything to me.' dude.

senya is trying to get ara and matakara together bc he couldn't do that for him and ichiya

i am so gd curious what happened to drive them apart

matakara losing sight why he wanted to become a honki person in the first place (ara) and trying to destroy it

'what senya wants is your body' context needed.

i'm thinking maybe ichiya is willing to fully take over bodies and senya isn't, thus why he hasn't done it to arajin already. that or he was planning to in the beginning but got too attached

ohhh this is gonna make for a good dramatic fight

ughhhh another really good episode. i think the story's finally full found its stride. very hyped for the last 3 episodes. i think next episode will probably deal with betrayal between senya and ara, leading senya to explain exactly what happened between him and ichiya. matakara will trying to fight ara and ara will have to run away, frustrating matakara even more. mahoro might focus on trying to help matakara

#bucchigiri?! #bucchigiri lb #thoughts #predictions

[wooahaes]

sweet night [pt.9]

pairing: non-idol!mingyu x fem!reader

word count: ~6.0k

warnings: seungkwan heavy chapter, little actual mingyu content. mention of a flashback. rain/storm warning. more emotional talks. angst.

daisy’s notes: honestly u can thank holly for me posting this one now instead of waiting lol

summary: As the adopted daughter of the Kim family and current heir to the   company, you have it all. An arranged marriage with your soon-to-be fiance who you truly fell in love with, respect from your workers for being good at your job, a good relationship with both your family and your good friends… What more could you want out of life? And yet all it takes is one night for everything to fall down, and one man to help pick up the pieces.  

< previous part || masterlist || next part >

Kibum, as your big brother, knew you better than most people did.

He knew that you’re a strong person. You’d face your challenges and steel your nerves to get through them, no matter what people thought of you. Even when he heard the news of what happened, Kibum knew that you would be okay. Still, he knew you well. He knew that sometimes you’d call him and ask to meet up, always with this quiet pleading tone in your voice. It never took him long to figure out what you needed when he heard it, because it was the same tone you’ve always used with him when you were growing up. The very quiet I need my brother here tone: softer than usual, and so much more genuine than the voice you put on when you face work. A quiet plea for company that no one else could provide you.

You had called him and asked him to meet you for lunch with that same tone of voice, and Kibum knew that you needed to talk. He told you to pick the place, and he drove there as soon as he knew you’d be getting off for your lunch break. When you finally showed up, he was already there--excusing it as the (very true) fact that he’d already been in the area for work. He saw the way your eyes widened when you saw him, but that surprise faded fast and was replaced by comfort.

“So? Spill,” Kibum had said, leaning back into his chair a little casually. “What did he do now?”

You cracked a small, uneasy smile. “You act like Mingyu’s always doing something.”

Kibum stared at you for a moment, surprise lighting up his eyes. “Isn’t he?” He recovered well, but not well enough. You could tell that the hesitation came from expecting to hear Seungkwan’s name from you. “So? Spill,” he repeated. “Something’s obviously bothering you if you want to talk to me about it.”

You sucked in your cheeks a little. “Kibum--”

“I know you,” he said. “You want an honest opinion. So tell me what’s bothering you.”

You hesitated as a waiter refilled your glass before walking off again. You looked down at your hands a moment later. “I don’t know if I want to marry Mingyu anymore.”

“And?” Kibum pushed a little, watching you carefully. “That’s not all.” Your brother knew you far too well for that.

Again, the words were hard to get out. “I think I’m falling in love with him.” 

With that, you needed to explain. Everything spilled out of you as a result: the dates the two of you went on, the domesticity of your living situation... and the fact he’s supposed to propose to you in a few days. It felt as though things were beginning to change between you and Mingyu, and last night was just the first time you realized it. All it took was looking over and seeing him, breathless and happy next to you underneath the stars, for you to realize the warm feeling in your chest was a direct response to the way he cared so deeply for you. He made you feel loved.

“I think...” You stared at your fingers, focusing on the little imperfections in your nails. “I feel like I’m latching onto Mingyu because he’s being kind to me. These aren’t dates, we’re just going out and being ourselves together. There’s no stress to be anyone or anything else.” For a moment, you paused. “I feel like I can be myself with him,” and you knew that Kibum was giving you a look, knowing exactly how those words sounded. “And I can’t help but think I’m starting to fall in love with him, which isn’t fair because he’s my best friend. He doesn’t love me like that.” Pain sparked up from how tightly your hands were curled around one another, nails now digging into your skin. “It’s too soon.”

“Everyone moves on differently,” Kibum said. “Some people obviously before the relationship is over--”

You gave him a pointed look, “Kibum.”

“--And some people take longer. It’s been over a month since what happened.” Kibum paused, watching you before deciding to choose his words carefully, as to not offend. “If you needed longer, you wouldn’t call me. You wouldn’t tell anyone of this.” Kibum reached out, gently unwrapping your hand and holding it. “If you think you’re ready to move on, then I support you.”

“Mingyu doesn’t love me like that.”

He pulled his hand away with a hard exhale out of his nose, looking away. He clicked his tongue, before giving you this pointed look as though you’d just lied to his face, “Are you sure?”

“Why would Mingyu love me?” You frowned. You didn’t think you were Mingyu’s type. Mingyu was smart and handsome and caring and kind and you were...

Well. You were you.

“Why did Seungkwan?” Kibum asked, “Why does anyone? Because you’re you. Just because you don’t see the reasons people love you doesn’t mean that they aren’t there. You care about people. I see it in the way you worry over the people who work for you.” When you tore your gaze away with this pout, Kibum merely paused before switching gears. “Do you know why our parents let you date Seungkwan for so long?”

“Because I told them I wanted to wait--”

“Because you two loved each other,” Kibum said. “And you actually cared about each other. All of us thought that you two were going to get married for a reason. I don’t know what happened to Seungkwan, but you two clearly connected. It’s all in the past now, but... You stood up for his comfort. You cared, and you care about Mingyu now. You’re so focused on how Mingyu feels that you don’t pay attention to how you feel.”

You furrowed your brow. “What?”

“Do you remember what you said to me after I came back from London?” Kibum didn’t give you a chance to answer, “You said you wanted to marry someone you like even if it’s for the company. What about you?”

You opened your mouth to respond, only to hesitate. “But the company--”

“Who cares about the company right now?!” Kibum rolled his eyes, turning back to you with a more stern expression. “You are not the company no matter how much you feel like you are. I’ve always worried about you because you’re married to your job--but you said it yourself. You go out with Mingyu and you don’t have to worry about work. You can just be you when you’re with him. Would you really be going out with him if all of this was just pretend?”

Would you? You’d spent time with Mingyu before, just as friends, back when you were dating Seungkwan. But these... not-dates were beginning to feel a little less so. The night on the boat, buying rings with him, falling into the grass and laughing... It all felt different. When you thought about it, you remembered the butterflies you felt with Seungkwan. The cozy feeling of loving and being loved in return. Maybe, if you truly had to think about it and compare, it felt even better when you were with Mingyu. In a way, it was healing.

When you lost Seungkwan’s love, you had felt broken. All of it had been suffocating. The shame of losing his love so publicly, the fact that he couldn’t come to you directly and tell you how he truly felt, the guilt over not seeing it sooner... It had broken you deeper than anything else. Yet when you were with Mingyu, that ache was soothed. He’d rescued you that night, and his care had helped you pick up the shattered piece and start putting them together again. Staying with him made you feel like you had a safe place to heal. Every move he’d made, he did it to take care of you. From bringing you back to his home so you had a private place to mourn the death of your relationship in peace, to moving you into his spare room so you could live with less stress instead of finding a hotel room or an apartment on such short notice. Even his proposal to you had been born from you venting your frustrations about having to date again, and solidified as a decision the two of you made to take your fates back into your own hands. Mingyu had chosen a happy business-fueled marriage with you, one of his best friends, over risking any alternative. He gave you safety when you needed it the most, and something about that made your heart yearn.

“I think you know.”

You did.

You were sure that you were starting to fall in love with Kim Mingyu.

The skies had grown darker outside, and you were stuck listening to Kibum fuss at you over keeping his old college car. You were going to call a taxi to go back to work, but the moment you said so, Kibum insisted that he’d drive you and drop you off. Admitting that you knew you’d been having problems with his car was only another nail in your coffin, because Kibum (as your older brother and occasional second mom) knew you were smarter than to keep something like that. You told him you knew it needed to have work done, but it completely broke down before you could have that appointment scheduled. You could afford a new one, sure, but you liked your car. It made you feel closer to your brother, after all. So instead of talking back to Kibum, you let him lecture you while you reminisce instead.

Two years ago, you’d been like this: heading back to your work building after lunch. However, that time had been a lunch meeting with a client your parents had sent you to. There was no Secretary Lee at this point to take care of you, no office to yourself: you hadn’t risen that high yet. Of course, traffic had been rough for you that day, and it meant that you would have been late to your next meeting with your parents and another company (something about cosmetics--you’d double check your information on the elevator ride up) had you not left as early as you were able to. They’d told you to make sure that you looked nice because this meeting was vital for you to attend.

Which only told you one thing: you were about to meet your future husband.

Ever since you’d entered the company, you knew that this day would come. That one day, you’d be married off to the son of some wealthy businessman, as much as you dreaded that thought. Although you’d never spoken about it (except to Kibum, once, and never again because he’d teased you about it), you were a bit of a hopeless romantic. You’d grown up watching dramas with your brother and grandmother, and seeing your parents love each other genuinely. Things would be different for you, though, and you knew that. Still, you couldn’t help but dream of a loving romance instead of one done like this.

You had reached out to press the button for your floor when you saw a young man quickly leave the front desk when he saw you in the elevator. He’d called out for you to please hold it the moment you clicked the button, doors already shutting by the time he arrived. You could hear the faint thump of his body making an impact (or maybe just his fist--you’d never be sure) while you were pressing the button to open the doors rapidly, as if it’d force them open faster.

A moment later, you were greeted with a wide-eyed young man who’d turned when he heard the doors open. You hadn’t caught everything he’d said under his breath, but you were pretty sure he’d been softly cursing you out. Instead, he thanked you quietly, and stepped in--keeping a decent amount of space between the two of you.

You pressed the button for floor seventeen. “What floor?”

He rattled off the same number, and you merely stepped back as the doors shut without much of a comment. A nice coincidence in all of this mess.

Despite your hesitation, you looked over at the young man. He looked close to your own age, although you couldn’t be sure if he was older or younger (his chubby cheeks were kinda cute, in your opinion). “Are you late?”

He nodded quietly, adjusting his tie. He glanced up at you, sheepish already, and admitted a “Almost.” He continued on after a moment, “I misread the address,” and he continued to fix the lapel of his jacket.

You could understand that. Your habit of leaving early for things had saved you time and time again whenever you made the same mistake while getting to restaurants you weren’t familiar with or businesses across the city. At least that habit, ingrained into you by your family, was good. “I understand.”

He nodded. “It isn’t too bad,” he said, clearly not thinking much as he stared ahead. “At least a pretty lady held the elevator for me...”

The compliment had made you smile. “Oh? How nice,” you teased lightly.

Immediately, color began to leak into his face as he grew more and more flustered. “Ah, I mean--I meant you--” He stammered, gaze meeting your own. “Not that I meant to flirt--I’m--I’m taken now. Sorry.”

Although you almost wanted to tease him (taken now? He sure didn’t sound confident), you giggled at how cute he was. “It’s okay,” you said. Had you been alone, you would have leaned against the elevator wall. You hated how slow this thing moved sometimes, the number just now ticking to nine “I won’t tell.”

“You won’t?” He breathed a sigh of relief. “Good...” He looked away from you, scratching the back of his neck before sheepishly stealing another look your way. “Do I look okay? I almost spilled coffee on myself earlier,” he said, again not really thinking in a way that was actually pretty cute to you. Maybe it was because he was so close to your age that he was so open and honest. Like he could let his guard down when he was around you.

“You look cute,” you giggled. “Your partner must be lucky.”

His face immediately started going red, and he tore his eyes away from you. “I don’t think she is,” he said after a moment. “We, um, we don’t really have a choice here.”

Ah. Another person in an arranged marriage. “I know the feeling,” you said. Floor sixteen... “I hope you have a happy marriage nonetheless,” you began to straighten yourself out a little bit. “It’s important to find things that you love about the other person at least, even if you can’t love them entirely.”

“But is that fair?” The doors opened. “If you can’t love someone entirely, then it doesn’t feel fair. Even marrying a friend is better than marrying a stranger.”

The two of you stepped out together, and you faced him. “Maybe so,” you said. “But we don’t get that luxury, do we?” You took a small step back after checking the time, thankful you could take a moment for yourself in the bathrooms to freshen up. “Good luck,” you simply told him, “I hope you learn to love her.”

And he nodded back, wishing you the same as the two of you parted ways. You carefully fixed your makeup in the bathroom mirror, making sure that you looked presentable for what was about to happen. All you could do was gather your courage, taking one final deep breath and exhaling before straightening. With your nerves steeled, you made your way to the meeting room a single minute past the appointed time. You entered, bowing in respect as your parents had taught you to, and apologized for taking a moment for yourself. Then you straightened up, and realized who stood with his parents now.

Your parents introduced you to Boo Seungkwan, who immediately began to apologize for not recognizing you immediately. He didn’t want to assume that you were you and then be wrong (and have to deal with that situation as well). He wasn’t able to see your plastic ID on your lanyard, after all.

“I’m sorry I called you pretty,” he said, only to realize what he said. “Not that you aren’t pretty! You’re... You’re very pretty,” he said, “but you’ve worked hard to get to where you are. It’s an honor to meet you,” he said, taking your hands in his own, “please take care of me as we move forward.”

You’d smiled to yourself, already endeared to this awkwardly cute man who’d stumbled into your life. All you could do was ask that he did the same.

When Kibum finally dropped you off, you felt a drop of rain hit your nose. Stepping underneath the shelter, you watched the beginnings of rain as they hit the pavement before sighing. Hopefully the rain wouldn’t become too heavy--you’d left your umbrella at home that day. Yet, as the universe seemed to be against you again, you’d watched as it evolved into a heavier downpour that left you stranded at your building after everyone had started to leave. Your driver had said he’d call a different repair shop for you rather than fully admit defeat (you were already beginning to look up cars in your spare time, just to have a back-up plan), Mingyu had his driver drop you off at your work, and now you were stuck unless you wanted to call Kibum again. Mingyu had a business dinner around this time, and you likely wouldn’t see his driver for a while due to the heavier traffic. So instead you decided to call him, thanking him for trying to come get you, but that Secretary Lee had offered to drive you home instead. It’d been a lie--you were fully planning to get a taxi as soon as you could and not worry anyone further--but at least you weren’t inconveniencing anyone. 

Although you were starting to regret it. With this weather, it was hard to get anyone. Most services were overly busy, and you were left sitting in the lobby, trying to get through as you paced to and fro. If only you hadn’t forgotten your umbrella--you would have tried to make it to the nearest bus station if you could. You always had the bad habit of forgetting the thing, and it didn’t help that you felt worse whenever you had to ask Seungkwan to bring it to you or for Chan to fetch it if he didn’t mind. It was your favorite umbrella, bright blue with this elegant darker pattern around the rim of it. It’d been a gift from Kibum, who thought the cute design fit you. You always thought of clearer skies when you used it.

Sitting down by the window, you began to weigh your options. Maybe you could call Minghao or Junhui--or maybe Soonyoung, who you were pretty sure didn’t live far from the building since you’d stayed late one day. He’d left at the end of the work day, only to be back within thirty minutes because he’d forgotten his portable charger (and he’d stopped in to check on you, making sure you weren’t overworking yourself too much).

Then you heard your name being called out, and there was Seungkwan with your folded umbrella in his hand.

“You forgot to take it when you moved out,” he said quietly. Seungkwan looked... bad, to put it simply. Had he been eating? Those round cheeks were slightly less so, and you couldn’t help but feel pity for him.

Then it hit you that you’d never seen him so... somber. So quiet. Even after the meeting weeks ago and the pet adoption drive. He held out the umbrella to you as he approached, and immediately backed off once you accepted it. He opened his mouth to speak, only to close it a moment later, and then he tore his gaze away from you.

With a deep breath, he finally spoke again in that same quiet voice, “Vernon told me you’re supposed to get engaged soon.” He looked up, finally meeting your eyes, “to Mingyu.”

You nodded, standing up after a moment. “And?”

“That’s good.” He took a step back. “Mingyu will treat you better.” His fingers curled tight around his briefcase, and he seemed as though he were in pain. “I know he will.”

You weren’t sure what to say, and you thought Seungkwan wasn’t sure, either. But it was the first time either of you were really speaking to one another, face to face, and alone. The first time you had Chan by your side and you could turn it into business. The second, you had Mingyu there, and you knew he had writhed a little at seeing you happy with Mingyu. Now it was just you, plain and simple and nothing more or less. Being along with him made you feel choked up, the urge to cry building stronger and stronger. You weren’t even sure why. Was it the sight of Seungkwan in general? Or the sight of him looking so... hopeless? Lost? As though everything that had made him shine was taken away from him?

“They haven’t spoken to me in over a month,” he finally said. He didn’t focus on you, gaze staring far past where you stood. “I think I lost them for good.”

Oh. Oh. “I thought you got engaged--”

He shook his head immediately. “Technically, we did. We are. But they’re upset with me,” he said, focus dropping to the floor in shame. “They should be. I know I fucked up,” he said, voice catching in his throat as he sniffled. “And I know I don’t deserve anyone’s support--and I know you hate me now and want me to go, but I...” Tears began to stream down his cheeks, and he refused to look at you as he raised his voice, “I ruined everything and I don’t know what to do anymore!”

Seungkwan broke down in front of you right then and there, and you realized just how much he’d been holding to his chest. You didn’t move from where you were standing, feeling paralyzed. “What do you mean?”

“Half of my friends won’t listen to me when I try to speak to them,” he said through a break in his sob, “and almost everyone else keeps telling me I need to talk to you. I don’t know what I’m supposed to say! I cheated on you and--and you have every right to hate me--” He wiped roughly at his eyes, “--and you should! And you do--and the person I love more than anyone else does, too. They said yes because we were in front of a crowd! I only did it so that our families knew I was serious.”

You raised your voice, anger beginning to fester, “You could have told me! I would have let you go--”

“They wouldn’t have!” He finally met your gaze again. Angry, upset, and so, so hurt. “You would have, but your parents wouldn’t! You aren’t like them. You actually cared about me and what I wanted,” he said. “I didn’t know how to tell you. You already face so much from them, I couldn’t make you break off our engagement.”

You knew things wouldn’t have been that simple. He was right about that. If you had gone to your parents to break off the engagement, you would have had to do it carefully. And what would you have even said? That Seungkwan loved someone else? Not every person like you and Seungkwan were lucky to marry for love. Seungkwan loving you at all was more than enough for them.

You took a deep breath, regaining your tight rein on your emotions. “You should have talked to me either way.”

“If I did, can you tell me you wouldn’t have gone to your parents anyway? That you wouldn’t have called your brother and gotten more people involved?” Seungkwan was going quieter again. “That you wouldn’t have taken things into your own hand even if I had begged you not to?“

You couldn’t.

“That’s why I didn’t tell you,” he said. “Because I knew you. You would have let me go and done anything to ensure that. I know everything’s all my fault,” he took a deep breath, “and I should have said something.” He went quiet for what felt like an eternity, and he took the smallest step toward you--as if to make this conversation more intimate despite no one else being around. “I think letting you go is hard. Even now, I think about how long we were together. How much of our lives were intertwined.” Seungkwan took one final deep breath as he looked at your face. You could see how wet his cheeks still were. “And I want to stop loving you.”

You didn’t have any words. All you knew was that you’d always feel the same.

“I think,” he started, a minute later, “I’ll always love you in some way. And I’m okay with that. Even if I never see them again, I loved them, too. I don’t regret either of those decisions.”

Decisions. You hiccuped, already feeling your own tears beginning to well up. “Boo--” You took a step back, “That’s not--This isn’t fair!” You snapped at him, catching him off guard. Every single emotion you’d carefully bottled up had finally shaken and burst out, shattering hard enough that you couldn’t fight back your tears any longer. “Do you know what I’ve gone through for the past month?! I had to pretend I was okay in front of my staff, I roped Mingyu into this stupid arrangement--” You sniffled, words escaping you for a moment. “And it hurts,” your voice cracked.

Seungkwan grew frustrated immediately. “It hurts me, too!” He snapped back, and you were thankful that everyone else was gone. The door had been propped open and set to lock after you shut it when you left. “You moved on so quickly--It felt like our relationship meant nothing to you! Mingyu will treat you better than I did, but it still hurts to see how you love him!”

You stared at him and the words he had so casually dropped as fact. “What?”

“You love Mingyu,” Seungkwan repeated, “and it hurts to see you love him so readily. I know I was a coward who should have talked to you, but seeing you with Mingyu hurts. He was my friend before he was yours,” he said. “And either you love him or you’re using him as a rebound--which isn’t fair for him. Be angry at me, scream at me, but don’t hurt your friend and mind just to hurt me.”

“It’s for business,” you said, and it stung to lie like that out loud. “Just like we were--”

“No.” Seungkwan was far colder now, his gaze trained steady on your. “We weren’t just business. You know that.”

You did. Two years of loving Boo Seungkwan couldn’t be just business, no matter how much you wished it was. “Mingyu is different.”

Seungkwan stared at you with wet cheeks that he finally reached up, wiping at his face with his sleeve. The silence grew between the two of you, and after a moment, he finally looked at you again with clearer eyes. “I always thought I’d  be happy with you,” he said. “I think I would have been.” And yet he swallowed hard. “Just not happy enough.”

The sentiment hurt deep, and you weren’t sure what was worse: the public proposal, or this. “You--”

“But you wouldn’t be happy, either. You would have figured it out,” Seungkwan said. “You’re smart. You would have seen the way I looked at them sooner or later. And then you’d let me go then, too. I know you. Our parents wouldn’t have let us back out. My mom supported me, but my dad didn’t think I’d go through with it. Your parents didn’t, either,” Seungkwan took a deep breath. “You deserve someone who will love you with everything they have. I’m sorry I couldn’t do that. But they’re...”

You remembered the way he looked at them. “I know.”

“I’m scared I’ve lost them,” Seungkwan said. “And if I have, then I think I deserve it. If I could go back and do it differently, then I would.”

The question burst out of you before you could think twice: “What would you do?”

He went quiet. “I would have told you first,” he finally said. “And I think... I wouldn’t propose at all. I’d take the fall entirely,” he made his way over to you, setting his briefcase aside as he took your hands in his own. “And I’d let you go right.”

You sniffled again, staring down at his hands. Even now, they were warm around your own. “I... I don’t know what to say.”

His thumb traced over your knuckles, and you realized he turned his attention to the rain outside. “Do you need a ride home?” He looked back at you. “It’s late. I can drive you there.”

With an ounce of hesitation, you finally nodded. “That would be nice. Thank you.”

Seungkwan escorted you to his car, and you held your umbrella over the two of you. The drives the two of you used to take together used to be filled with music. If you thought back on it hard enough, you could practically hear Seungkwan’s voice as he sang to you whatever song he had on his playlists--when he wasn’t giving you history lessons on the pop industry. In another life, you’d probably be driving home with him and smiling now. Instead, all that came over his speakers were the directions to Mingyu’s home. He kept looking at you every so often, as if he wanted to speak to you again. He never did, and you couldn’t find the courage to, either.

The two of you finally made it back to Mingyu’s home, and Seungkwan stopped you before you could get out of his car. “You always told me that you were happy marrying me because it meant you were marrying for love.” His grasp was loose around your forearm, eyes boring into your own. “You always said you didn’t want it any other way. I need to know... Did... Did I hurt you that badly? Or... Do you actually love Mingyu?”

Did you love Kim Mingyu? That seemed to be the question of the day that you still didn’t know for sure. Did it count if you were falling? Instead, you pressed your lips into a tight line for a moment, unsure of what to say to him. You settled after a moment: “Goodnight, Seungkwan.”

Something lit up in his eyes, just a little. When was the last time you’d said his name? He let go of you, nodding. “Goodnight,” he said. “I’ll leave once you get inside safely.”

Without another word, you exit the car, shutting it behind you before making your way through the rain to the front door. You unlocked it, letting yourself in and stepping inside before turning back to look at where Seungkwan was watching you. He waited a moment longer, and then you watched him drive away.

When you turned around, slipping out of your heels and into a pair of comfortable house slippers, you realized you could hear the television on. Soon enough, you could see Mingyu sitting on the couch, working on a cross-stitch. He had told you once he’d teach you if you wanted: he’d been in a club back when he was younger, and he still enjoyed the hobby from time to time.

“You’re home?” You called out, and Mingyu looked up. “I thought you had a dinner.”

“A family emergency came up so they canceled,” he said, setting his needlework onto the coffee table. He stood up, “I thought you saw my text. I would’ve picked you up sooner if you had called--my driver said you told him not to worry.”

You hadn’t seen the message, but you’d check your phone for it later. “It’s okay,” you said, making your way toward your room. But Mingyu stepped into the water, stopping you as he tilted your face up to meet his gaze.

“Your makeup is messed up,” he frowned. “Are you okay? Did something happen?”

You stared at Mingyu. You’d fixed your eye makeup in the car, at least as much as you could so it wouldn’t be obvious that you were crying. But the messed up eyeliner and mascara couldn’t be completely fixed since you’d forgotten to put them into your purse. “I’m okay,” you said, a half-lie. “I talked to Seungkwan.”

“And?” Mingyu said, a little more serious this time--almost as if mentioning Seungkwan made him more defensive. “Do I need to talk to him?”

You shook your head. “It’s okay,” you took a step toward your bedroom door. “I think we needed that talk.”

Mingyu edged out of your way, nodding. “If it helped, then I’m glad.” He watched as you started to open your door, hand reaching out for your wrist. He held it loosely. “He’s been wanting to talk to me, too. Should I...?”

You nodded. “I think you should, if you want to.”

“Are you still angry with him?”

You weren’t sure how to answer that. “I think,” you took Mingyu’s hand in your own, “I still have to figure that out on my own. I know he hurt me, but... I don’t know how I feel.” About him. About you. About anything now. Yet you left that part unsaid: no need in making Mingyu worry about you any more than he already did.

Mingyu thought over your words, and slowly nodded as they sank in. “I see.” Then he changed the topic, letting his hand drop back to his side. “Do you feel like going out? It could be a nice distraction if you want one.”

At first, you wanted to say no. But with Mingyu, a dinner out would actually be a good distraction for you. “I’d like that,” you said. “Let me change and fix my makeup, okay?”

When you were ready to go, Mingyu was already waiting for you, dressed down in a more casual outfit--almost as if he read your own mind. He had smiled at you when he saw your sweater and jeans, already looking a thousand times cozier than you had before. Holding Mingyu’s hand felt like second nature at this point, his hand warm around your own as he walked you to his car. He’d already started suggesting fast food for once. As much as the guy worked out, sometimes he knew that something like a good fast food meal could be kind-of healing in its own way. He’d shower you with his own culinary prowess other times: the taste always spoke for itself when the food was genuinely good. He’d take you out for ice cream afterward and split another sundae with you, showing you cross-stitch patterns he’d been looking at. He’d order a simpler one for you, if you wanted to learn.

Later that night, you had settled into place beside Mingyu on the couch. He’d continued working on his cross-stitch, actually almost done with the one he’d started days ago of a bird in a cage with roses around it. He leaned forward, careful not to disturb you too much, and turned the TV back on. Mingyu flipped through the channels before landing on a movie the two of you had seen once before, and wordlessly he wrapped an arm around you. Instinctively, you cuddled in, and almost smiled at the sigh of bliss he let out.

And then you realized that you definitely couldn’t marry Kim Mingyu like this.

taglist: @twancingyunhao​ @synthetickitsune​ @wonuziex​

sweet night taglist: @twogyuu​ @itsveronicaxxx​ @caratluvie​ @xxluckydreamsxx​ @onlyasgoodasitgets​ @wasteitonserendipity​

#wooahaes.sweetnight #wooahaes.fic #seventeen imagine #seventeen x reader #seventeen x you #svt x reader #svt imagine #svt x you #mingyu x you #mingyu x reader #kim mingyu x you #kim mingyu x reader #kim mingyu imagine #mingyu imagine

[haleigh-sloth]

you once tweeted about touya not being the one who needs to change and like “overcome” his obsession w endvr bc his reactions are valid. i wanted to ask how you feel about hawks and his obsession with endvr tho, him literally always putting himself down (esp in the new chapter with saying his wings are dirty for example) to put endvr on a pedestal (still calling him a figure of hope??) so he can basically still look up to him and not face what shit endvr did. do you think he needs like a reality check and face that his idol did or is it just hori not caring

I definitely do not think it's a case of Hori not caring. I'll explain why, but first I want to kinda just explain my take on what Hawks said this chapter about his wings, and his reaction to Endeavor when comparing it to Touya's.

My answer to your question is yes, Hawks needs a reality check. Touya needs a reality check but in a different way. His dad does not define him, and I am fully confident that Shouto's role is making Touya realize that, however that necessary realization does not cancel out that he also deserves to have and see his dad love him and give him what he wants.

Hawks on the other hand, imo, just needs to wake up. There is not real validation or affection from Endeavor he needs in order to move on with his life. Endeavor did not raise him. Hawks is attached to an Endeavor that never existed, while Touya is attached to the real Endeavor with ALL of the ugly parts included. Even with all of the horrible things Endeavor did....Touya still loves him and craves his attention and presence in his life.

Hawks ignores the ugly part of Endeavor. He straight up refuses to acknowledge it for what it is. He knows, he's aware, and yet he remains unphased and puts Endeavor on a pedestal and latches onto him, secretly wishing Enji was his dad and if we ever fucking get to this payoff of Hawks's build up, I'm sure we'll see some jealousy of Touya. Can't imagine a better reason for this image to exist:

Which, I don't think I need to really explain this but---it's irrational and ridiculous of Hawks to want these things. Is it understandable on a psychological and emotional level? Absolutely. 100%. His reaction is valid, even if very frustrating. Does that change the fact that the entire situation is ridiculous? Nope. It's ridiculous to us (me) as readers because we know all of the information.

So imo yes Hawks is due for a reality check. And I don't think Hori is ignoring it. I will admit to feeling some level of frustration lately with him showing Hawks looking batshit insane when Twice shows up, getting ready for the emotional gut punch of a life time with the set up, and then for some reason spending like 20 chapters trying to get AFO tf out of Gunga and having Hawks and AFO banter repeatedly and completely fucking stalling the story's progress. I'm a little over it and ready to move on, but I don't think anything is going to go on forever ignored. If I've learned anything, it's that anytime we think something will be forgotten or casually slid under the rug, Hori always busts it out later with a vengeance. I do pretty much fully trust Horikoshi at this point, as he has not let me down yet no matter how frustrating the weekly pacing of the manga is at times. Hawks does not have anything good coming his way anytime soon, as Twice and Toga are still there and Touya and Endeavor are still playing duck duck clown. So I'm not worried.

Hawks putting himself down....well, there's layers to this. Maybe Hawks shouldn't have a self-deprecating way of thinking, but Hawks also isn't exactly the pinnacle of hope in BNHA land right now, and he's LONG overdue for feeling some sort of doubt or guilt about his own beliefs and actions. His wings are dirty because they carried out a murder in the name of heroism--which is just incorrect in BNHA's definition of being a hero. And then, Hawks relating Endeavor to anything hopeful is also just not good. I know Endeavor's redemption arc is clear cut and happening, but the climax of it hasn't happened yet, so I feel like as long as Hawks is jumping the gun at praising Endeavor for his redemption that hasn't happened yet, all the while running away from his own heinous act, we shouldn't be taking Hawks's whole word for things on what's hopeful and what's not. Hawks said some questionable things this chapter that have an ominous vibe to it all, and it really just kinda keeps me of the belief that he's got a storm coming.

#bnha asks #anonymous #bnha spoilers #bnha 381

[ham-st4r]

hi!!!

so, i read “nobody gets me me (you do)” and wow!!! it was so amazing!! i cant!!!!!!!!

first of all, i loved that this time yn is an idol/famous and hee was a “normal” guy !!! it was fun to read and to see a different perspective on that!! this also brings me to the fact that omg omg omg omg heeseung was such a sweetheart here :((( like omg he was everything !! a husband material for sure <3 he was so supportive and caring and omg!! i melted ngl <33 BRUH yn was such a bitch lmaooo  - i was literally pissed while reading some of the shit she said!!! and NO!! i will not put myself into her shoes!!!! she said some bullshit that no one especially !!!hee!! deserves/d :((( but i guess we got some good and im taking RLY GOOOD fucking so - yeah the sexy scene u write never disappoint !! but still !! and when he left YEAHHH GOOD FOR HIM but also :((( seeing both of them  be still in love was so sad, i mean yn rly fucked up and im glad she realized it!! and omg this sza song is sooooooooo good and wow the story plus the song WAS TOP TIER !!!!! the whole getting back together was so cute :((( i hope they did get married eventually <33 

THANK U THANK U this was a lovely <333 <3 i appreciate the work u put into it <3 it rly shows! i was excited for this since it was a wip and it rly met my expectations !!!!  thank u !!!! take care !!  ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Hello!

First off, thank you so much for your review. I appreciate this so so much.

I’m glad you enjoyed the reversed idol roles. I’m constantly trying to come up with unique ideas, so I’m happy that stood out to you.

I agree that heeseung was a sweetheart. He didn’t deserve all those things y/n said to him ;( and I also agree that y/n was a complete a hole 😂

And of course I had to write make up sex lol

Also, with the part where heeseung broke up with her, I wanted to showcase that you can love someone with your whole heart, but if they don’t put that same love back into you, then they are not worth it.

But, it also showed that people can learn from past mistakes and get a second chance cause they realize they messed up and they’re willing to be a better person for the one they truly love.

And also, yes! The Sza song is literally gold.

I could, maybe in the distant future, write a little scene about them getting married finally, but who knows.

I didn’t know anyone was even waiting on this story. I’m sorry it took so long to get out. I had a bunch of issues with the editing, but it came out just the way I wanted it to.

Once again, thank you so much. I really enjoyed this, and it made me feel the emotions of the story all over again.

Thank you so much! I hope you have a wonderful day!

For anyone that hasn’t read the story yet you can read it here >>>

#ham st4r⭐️ answers! #heeseung smut #enhypen heeseung #enhypen heeseung smut #enhypen smut #heeseung #enhypen #lee heeseung smut #lee heeseung #heeseung x reader #smut

[absolutebl]

Hi, me again. So you speak quite highly of my beautiful man...And I really don't get it😭😭. I've tried watching it twice and could never make it through the 3rd episode. I just couldn't get past how mean the guy was. So I guess my question would be what about it makes you like it so much? Maybe it's because I'm not that familiar with Japanese comics and BLs?

Maybe. 

You have to get bully romances and the whipping boy dynamic and then make if far enough to realize this is a subversion of those tropes. For example, did you know Hira is the seme of this narrative? Oh yes. 

It’s a harsh show, but that’s the point of it, it’s harsh on its characters, and it’s harsh on the viewers. Because it wants us to really think about what’s going on here, not the actions, but the emotions behind those actions. Why is Hira the way he is? Why is Kiyoi? And why does Hira never consider either? 

It’s exploring different interpretations of love, kink, and power dynamics, but also loneliness, social ostracism, and isolation. 

If you stopped half way through, you stopped right before the GOOD time jump. 

After they part ways and Hira goes to university and grows up (away from the object of his obsession)... everything changes. 

Also we get a penultimate episode entirely from Kiyoi’s perspective and after that our audience perspective also morphs. 

We suddenly realize how oddly similar these two are, and how they have reacted to hostile society, queer desire, and the companion disenfranchisement in different but complementary ways. 

The beauty of Utsukushii Kare is exactly what you started to experience but rejected in frustration (probubly because of the raw ugliness). 

We are suckered into thinking it's one kind of horrible narrative (stalker, obsession, advantage, and abuse). When in fact, once you're given perspective, it turns out to be something entirely different. 

We’re left not thinking so much about bully versus worship, and tired old tropes but about the emotions guiding human behavior: 

What is the nature of true affection? 

How can the wrong kind of love damage?

What is the meaning of the “right kind of love” when contrasted to the warped desires of an individual? 

The narrative and personality twists are ALL based in character.

On a rewatch, after completely finishing it this show, it will become a whole new story - you’ll never be able to unsee the inherent pain that Hira's own worship is causing him and everyone around him, particularly Kiyoi, who has been forced onto a pedestal and into a god-like role that he wanted, yes... but not from Hira. Not from a boyfriend. 

It’s the ultimate emotional reveal. Like how if you know the twist of Crying Game or Flight Club or Sixth Sense it will never be the same movie it was the first time around, but Utsukushii Kare DONES THIS AS A ROMANCE. 

It’s so fucking clever. 

It's not victim blaming, it's a dialogue about the nature of emotional responsibility and an examination of what it means to truly love someone as they are (and not as you idolize them or want them to be). 

In an odd way, this show is a pretty profound criticism of parasocial relationships.

The other thing about My Beautiful Man is that it’s for Japanese audiences and, somewhat accidentally I think... us. International BL & yaoi super fans. This is not a show that anyone outside the community would understand. This is not intro level BL. We don’t show this to our friends to get them intersted in the genre (unless those friends are heavily in the kink community). 

Here I am losing my mind over it, but notice that this didn’t really happen until the final episode? 

Now, I don’t mind the bully aspect because it’s so much a part of yaoi DNA, so it was never a matter of me dropping this show. But it did take the ending for me to love it as hard as I did. 

If you can’t make it through I ENTIRELY understand. But I do feel sorry you won’t get to experience such an amazing piece of narrative and character dexterity. 

This is the kind of BL that can ONLY come from Japan. No other BL producing country has the chops, depth, or talent to pull this off. Nor are they willing to push as hard or as dark. You have to walk the edge of the knife for this kind of story, and as a result it will cut. It’s whether you like the pain or not. 

There is a reason this show won awards, and it is ENTIRELY different from why, say, ITSAY or Semantic Error won awards. All of them are beautifully acted and filmed, but while ITSAY is about honesty in an ugly world, and Semantic Error is about perfection and ignoring all ugliness, Utsukushii Kare is about connection despite (or perhaps because of) our own ugliness. 

“My Beautiful Man” is both subject and irony. 

Utsukushii Kare is about embracing what is flawed, and examining that as something to be honored because it is flawed. Which means that ultimately, like all the best of the Japanese romances, it is about hope. 

#Utsukushii Kare #My Beautiful Man #defending bl #bully romance #kinky romance #japanese bl #live action yaoi #adapted from a manga #best bl #my favorite bl

[emerald-notes]

The Astronaut, single by Jin

Note: It’s been a long time and here I am, still stuck in ‘The Astronaut’. Gonna share some personal opinion on this and I swear, I’ll shut up.

Rating - 10/10

“A life, a sparkle in your eyes, Heaven coming through, And I love you.”

Where do I even start? I feel like no matter how much I rant, my love for this song can never be expressed in words. The lyrics, the music and the mv, all of these have their own charms. I just absolutely love it.

Let’s start with its lyrics. I love the references of the cosmos used in this song. If Jin was an asteroid drifting all alone, Army was his heaven, a safe place. When Jin is in darkness, Army shines upon him like the Milky way. “You became my universe” is enough to prove how Jin dedicates his life for us and how we have become everything for him. We all know from the previous solo works of Jin that he is someone who constantly doubts himself and it is the love of the Army that brings him back from despair.

Isn’t it amazing how Jin, and all the BTS members in general, show how grateful they are to us? I am also grateful to them for making us feel loved. This song directly touches the heart. It is, in fact, the best kind of love letter one can ever wish for. It is a song that feels too personal. I feel like it was meant for me, as an individual. That’s one of the best achievements of this masterpiece.

The music video is so cute. Jin, representing an alien crashing on earth, who apparently doesn’t have any emotions. The little girl of his neighborhood plays with him often and he unconsciously grows empathy within himself. On the day his spaceship is finally leaving to go back to space, Jin realizes that it is the earth that is his true home and comes back.

Here are a lot of indications. For a start, the little girl represents Armys. If Jin was someone without dreams, the Armys made him want to dream. Just like the little girl helped him with the development of emotions. Again, though unconsciously, when the alien Jin decided to leave for good, he left his helmet with the girl so that she doesn’t hurt herself riding the bike alone without him around. As our Jin was leaving to join the military, he had left his precious song and along with it, a lot of content for the Armys to enjoy in his absence. Even the morse code for ARMY was literally tattooed on his neck in the mv. Just like the alien Jin realizing that the girl was his true home and coming back to her at the end, our Jin also promises us his coming back after serving his time in the military. Hence, I love the music video so much and I keep coming back to it time after time.

I will forever be grateful to Coldplay for accepting Jin’s request and making this song a reality. They are the sweetest souls ever. It shows how a real artist can recognize and appreciate another great artist. I love the bond between Jin and them, especially with Chris. It makes me immensely proud how far Jin has come. While he considered Coldplay as his idol in his youth, he is now collaborating with them side by side. Both of their styles of music are evident in this track. As if two beautiful melodies came together to become a better version of themselves.

I can’t talk about the Astronaut without bringing up the concert in Argentina. Here’s another reason for me to be grateful to Coldplay. They really understood the significance of this song for the Armys as a goodbye gift from Jin and that’s why they decided to have him at their personal concert. I could see the admiration in their eyes when Jin was performing. I also enjoyed the part where Chris opened his arms for Jin to run and embrace him while he sweetly kissed him on the cheek. This interaction was everything. When, both Chris and Jin were singing together to my favorite part and they couldn’t help but laugh in between, we could see Jin’s sparkling eyes so clearly. It shows how overwhelmed he was with emotion. I won’t lie about crying to that part myself.

Finally, the “I love you” part deserves its own paragraph. Would you think that it wasn’t intentional of Jin to finish his last live performance for the Armys by saying that he loves us? I think not. Jin is a genius and an absolute sweetheart for that. The reactions of the Armys at the concert was genuine. They looked so happy and sad at the same time. And I love you too, my Jinnie.

I am fully absorbed in this piece of art. It has become a part of me and I am totally obsessed with it now. I thank you, Jin, for making me feel this way. This work of yours is going to live in my heart rent free for the rest of my life.

#Jin #bts #bts jin #bts mv #jin the astronaut #the astronaut #astronaut mv #astronaut review #army #bts x army #seokjin #kim seokjin #ksj #jin solo #jin songs #coldplay #coldplay x jin #jin and chris

[lemonhemlock]

I really think some Green fans need to get real and realize the show will never portray a clearly young girl (we don't know the character's age but the actress was 15 years old during S1 filming - it's just vile to pretend her character was making everything up) lying about getting raped and setting poor Aegon up. Also, he was never confused when Alicent confronted him about what he had specifically done, in fact, the dialogue between them heavily implies this was not the first time this happened. He also never denied the accusation which I think he would've if the "it was a set-up" scenario was true. Anyway I doubt Dyana will knowingly be involved in the B&C affair either like some people from the other side keep hoping for. If she's going to provide information about the hour Helaena and her children are visiting Alicent or anything of the sort then it will likely be the some manipulation from Mysaria's part. I highly doubt Misaryia is going to say to Dyana "I know he wronged you and you want justice. How about we kill his heir?" and she'll be like "yeah let's do that". Her being a part of B&C is the second worst arc she could possibly have after the fake rape plot some are suggesting (or just as bad) because in no way one can ever claim that an innocent child getting beheaded in front of his mother would be an epic revenge story the audience will be cheering. I don't believe the writers will choose either of these two options.

yeah, the reason aegon turns the waterworks on and looks confused is because mummy hit him, not because mummy unjustly accused him. i realise some fans are hoping against hope and there's nothing wrong with daydreaming about a perfect pro-green world (i wish LOL), but, unfortunately, there's no "fixing" the dyanna situation. portraying young girls as manipulative liars when it comes to rape is just way more damaging than portraying a rapist prince on screen. we need to believe women and normalize that in our media, not to give more ammunition to dismissive narratives.

if the writers, say, had a change of heart and realised the error of their ways (i know, bear with me) or regretted the lost opportunity they had with aegon or whatever else. AT MOST, they could maybe retcon the child fighting pits thing bc aegon is never actually shown in there, so, if they REALLY wanted, they could never mention it again and pretend it didn't happen. but dyanna already got a pretty emotional scene where she was scared out of her mind and pleading with alicent + aegon basically admitted his guilt in the very next scene, so there's not much to do about that, other than reshoot the episode or re-edit it to remove that sideplot, which is obviously never going to happen ever. also, say what you will, but it was a pretty big deal that alicent believed her, no questions asked, and provided her with contraception and financial compensation, instead of punishing her and going "nuh-uh, not MY son"

like, "house of the dragon fake rape plot angers SA survivors and women's rights organizations" is not a good headline to have unless their aim is to turn it into The Idol with dragons

the good news, though, is that aegon is not real, so, as beings who exist in three dimensional spaces & outside screen and paper, we can acknowledge it as a controversial writing choice, accept it as an L and just move on with our lives. you don't have to agree with it & there is ample room to critique it, but it's also time to (gently) advance with the five stages of grief. the damage is already done, i'm afraid, we just have to take it on the chin and carry on.

i also agree that dyanna actively participating in b&c would be a mistake and not smth aspirational for her character (i have already breached this topic in her tag for curious cats). but i'm not convinced i trust the writers 100% NOT to go down this path bc they have sure shown that they can have a very simplistic understanding of female badassery and emancipation sometimes, re: how rhaenys killing civilians doesn't matter. all the more frustrating, because, had they moved the set around a little, she could have flown out dramatically on meleys without killing anyone, while maintaining all the benefits of the scene. but it seems they're not immune to shock just for the sake of shock.

anyway, as with all speculation, i am simply just talking out of my arse right now and cannot judge any aspect of S2 without seeing it first. episodes can be filmed with more than one version for various plots and who knows what they'll choose in the end. dyanna's actress may be filming scenes, but do we have any assurance those scenes will even make it in the show? there's no certainty they won't end up cutting them and editing the episode around her. so she can act out the most Kill Bill variant of her character and by the time next year rolls around it's on the cutting room floor

#ask #anon #dyanna #aegon ii targaryen #i h8 this sideplot but the milk has already been spilled

[gyuphorias]

hello hello! Can i request "wait you think i'm cute?" with dino? thank you!!!

hehe yes yes ofc!!

send me a prompt and an idol!!

when you'd first met lee chan a handful of years ago, you thought he was one of the most obnoxious people you'd ever had come into your life. he was ridiculously loud, nearly insufferable, and a complete mess — all the makings of a teenage boy, really.

though your initial opinion of him has never really changed (even at his big age of 23, he's still obnoxious and annoying), you've come to appreciate him a lot more. he's charismatic enough for the both of you, unafraid to speak his mind, funny enough to break any tension in any situation. you've seen firsthand how he cares for those he loves most, his passion for his craft, the attentiveness he pays the things he finds value in.

even now, as you sit against the back wall and he struggles to nail down the choreography he's working on, he keeps his breath even, his face straight, his emotions tempered. you can tell he's agitated (he's been working on this choreography for close to five hours now), but he's not letting it show outright. instead, he draws even breaths, shakes himself out, and starts a few measures before the place he messed up.

the fifth hour comes and goes, and you know that much more of this and he is really going to put himself down for the count. the last thing he wants (and needs) is to be bedridden for a few days because he pushed himself too hard tonight. you decide to cut the music, which you've been operating for him since seungkwan tapped out and called it a night a couple of hours ago, and chan looks back at you, his eyebrows raised.

"just take a break for a little bit," you say, voice echoing easily off the towering walls. "please? you're gonna hurt yourself, chan, and then you really won't be able to perfect this dance."

even from a handful of feet away, you can see the understanding that passes over your friend's face, the small smile and gentle eyes: he knows you're right because you're always right, more often than not keeping him from doing too much damage to himself when he gets like this.

he easily crosses the space between you, plopping unceremoniously on the hardwood floor beside you. he's sweating and his chest is heaving a little, but he doesn't seem too winded. he's certainly a proper athlete, his body keeping him in equilibrium, despite the fact that he's pushing himself to the limit; it's something you could never do, at least the way that he does it.

"have you been keeping track of the time?" he questions, reaching for his water bottle.

you nod, recounting the five hours to him. he's all but missed dinner with the twelve other guys and you have too, having opted to take seungkwan's place so he could attend to other things on his agenda for the evening. you can tell chan feels a little bad about it, but sitting here and working music for him for hours on end is far better than sitting in your apartment, completely bored out of your mind, which is what you tell him every time this happens.

he groans loudly, boyishly, and then he becomes top heavy, sliding against the wall and then leaning forward, allowing the momentum to land him face-up in your lap. his eyes are closed and his hair is hanging in sweaty strands over his forehead.

he looks almost peaceful, you think, looking down at him in your lap. cute, too. you're realizing that for the first time.

"wait... you think i'm cute?" he asks, eyes opening and blinking up at you.

you pause and go stiff, staring down at him. you said that out loud? this is absolutely not how you figured you coming to terms with the crush you had on him would go.

you want to start apologizing when you really take in chan's expression. he doesn't seem mad or anything, not putting distance between you and him. no, instead, he's staring back at you, keeping his head nestled in your lap and smiling brightly. you're stuttering over an answer that is only halfbaked and not at all coherent when he starts chuckling, his shoulders shaking.

"it's okay. i promise," he says, sitting up and turning his body entirely towards you. "i think you're cute too."

that just sends you into overdrive even further and you really think you're about to keel over and die from the whiplash of emotions you're experiencing: understanding, mortification, embarrassment. leave it to lee chan to make you feel like this, apparently.

he's still chuckling at you and in an attempt to get you jumpstarted again, he stands and reaches a hand out toward you. you take it, mouth still opening and closing lamely, your mind still struggling to catch up to the situation at hand. he pulls you to your feet and then grabs both of your things, taking it upon himself to carry your bag and wrap his jacket around your shoulders.

"let's go get dinner. my treat," he says, reaching his hand back out towards you.

you take it once again, nodding a little dumbly. "okay, sounds good."

and for months and years down the line, chan will never let you forget that you accidentally confessed the exact moment you realized you had feelings for him and went temporarily mute. but he's cute, so you let it slide.

#dino x reader #svt x reader #seventeen x reader #dino fluff #svt fluff #🌙 — talking to the moon #🌑 — new moon #🌑 — svt

[nadiegesabate1990]

When people see me they say I want to be Jimi Hendrix. But thinking about it: why do I want to be Jimi Hendrix, an unsuccessful accompaniment musician when I can be NADIEGE SABATE, a conductor? I rock. And I became a composer. Browse all the composers in the world of classical music. From Alkan to Weber. I play the piano and create melodies for potential clients, but I don't like always being up to date with new developments on the market, it's not very useful for me.

Soon after, my first compositions and songs came out and were published on music websites at the time.

Sabate Radio on Jango Radio | Full Bio, Songs, Videos

It was my first big hit, but I want my royalties.

I am recognized in musical circles as a talented creator of melodies and a top-notch composer, I am determined to open new paths in the field of classical music. I never get tired of playing the guitar and creating compositions. But I refused, at first, an idiot's request to write a song for his band. I know you're just wanting a jingle and a hit, and well, I didn't like that. I have to deal with prejudice. It's not a good time and I struggle with that, and it drives me to compose. People don't stop criticizing me and some nice guys say my music is good or that my genre is rock. Then dance music. They keep feeding me with these boring thoughts.

But I'm very rigid, I'm not capable of demoralizing Jimi Hendrix, he's my idol, my star. In fact, I want to achieve classical music sound development.

He composed it, so fine a day, received with enthusiasm. Oh! And what do we have here? It's the composer, at the piano, demonstrating that you critics were wrong about me. From then on, successes followed: my songs were symphonic in nature. My father, it took a while, he didn't realize that what I was doing was mixing rock and classical music, he praised me a lot, he even got emotional and said as follows: This guy is good. But I didn't use my name and I didn't even tell him who wrote the song. You know, sometimes I feel like a superhero.

Hiding my secret identity, but it's no use, they always call me a villain. But best of all is my album, it lasts 12 minutes in total! I don't want to steal his time. And isn't that what artists do? Stealing people's time? I hope to consolidate myself, increase my reputation as the best composer.

Still following the conventional scheme, which excited the critics, I showed my brilliant satirical side. The story of the album, written by me (like all the opera arguments of recent years), ridiculing of course ‘‘non-artists’’. The press praises the genre as the pinnacle of metal. But I see it as just a way to make money.

Classical music became an obsession for me, I listened to Richard Wagner and Claude Debussy as a teenager. In the famous debut, I will present, for the first time in the history of classical music, rock and symphonic music.

#taylor swift #artists on tumblr #donald trump #star wars #super mario #welcome home #ariana grande #ciara #iggy azalea #miley cyrus #selena gomez #rita ora

[ragesin]

I love looking at the inner workings of the relationship between Mel and Zel, because it means digging into how they view themselves and their clan, layers of trauma, mixed feelings, misunderstandings, and unsaid things that span thousands of years.

Meliodas

He loves Zeldris. He's not good at showing it but it's a lot more than he ever outwardly lets on. Despite this, it's to a point where their father, the Demon King, acknowledges that Meliodas views Zeldris as his "beloved/darling brother" and then proceeds to taunt him for being worried / desperate and not wanting to accidentally kill Zel's body which the King stole for use as a mortal vessel. Meliodas trained Zel how to fight and survive, they settled disagreements often enough with rock paper scissors that Mel accurately predicts whatever Zel picks, gifted him a sword, and he knew about the secret affair with the vampire and chose to let it be despite how frowned upon it must have been. But Mel has full belief that Zel feared him throughout his time in the Demon Realm and while acting as leader of the Ten Commandments. It didn't matter that his younger brother admired him. Mel only really focused on the fact that he was terrified of him, and later admits that though it was his own fault he did nothing to rectify the issue and allowed it to grow worse through his cold, standoffish nature and not having time for him while enacting their father's will.

Right before all hell breaks loose, Mel recognizes the danger of the developing situation and deduces he can no longer stay idle. He thinks to try to get his brother out as well and tried talking his brother into leaving the Demon Realm with him, attempting to convince him by saying to bring along Gelda but Zeldris refused. He could have forced him to come, it would have been doable, but Meliodas chooses to respect his decision so he ending up abandoning him. He threw off his shackles and left with Elizabeth. Though he worried about Zeldris, he did not look back. This forced Zeldris to shoulder more burdens on top of what he already had as a prince and the Executioner. Then the Holy War started due to Meliodas' actions, leading to the vampire revolt and Zeldris being given the order to execute the entire race, inadvertently making Meliodas responsible for what happened. He realizes this millennia later after getting the rest of the story from Gelda. It feels as though nothing he does to help/save Zeldris is working. All of this feeds into Meliodas' self hate and overall negative self perception. He sees himself as a worthless older brother only deserving of Zeldris' hatred after doing nothing but failing him. Even when completely stripped of emotion and aware of Zeldris triggering Elizabeth's curse, he still made a point of apologizing for his shitty actions and asks his brother to forgive his awful older brother.

Internalization of a twisted mentality as the favorite son who's not allowed to fail and feeling like he needed to be this invincible revered figure to succeed in carrying the entire weight of his proud clan as he fights nonstop in a never ending war to right the injustices against them under the unrelenting pressure of his father with his worth tied to how well he can flawlessly forever perform as the perfect weapon to mindlessly cut down the Demon King's enemies aside, Meliodas knew he could have done more for Zeldris but he simply didn't and when his brother needed him most he wasn't there.

Zeldris

He grew up in violence, watching his brother reap the lives of others without an iota of mercy or regret. Yet, Meliodas was still there as an enduring presence so most - if not all - of his positive 'good' memories involved his brother. Meliodas was an asshole yeah, but he had his moments when the other side of his personality would show through, and that's what made Zeldris try. He loved and looked up to Meliodas more than anyone else. The man was his role model and idol and he used to follow the guy around everywhere. Before Zeldris met Gelda, I think Mel was all he had besides obligatory Cusack and their father didn't even want him to have that. Honestly with Zel it seemed that under the outward appearance of being the Demon King's son he was a genuine kind person despite his situation and who he had as family. Someone a lot more open, sincere and honest about himself and wanting love than Meliodas is ( a person who was just fucking disinterested entirely ), and appeared to try very hard to get his brother's attention and approval, likely wanting validation. Going off remarks he really only visibly started changing personality wise and seriously emulating his brother's vicious attitude after he became the Executioner for Gelda's sake. He did fear Meliodas in some ways, but not the ones Meliodas presumed. He confided in the fake Gelda that while he didn't fear Meliodas back then like everyone else did, he see him as very difficult to approach but he craved being able to interact with him. Normal brother things. Just basic interactions like talking about their day or the people they like.

But eventually Zeldris stopped trying. He stopped talking to Meliodas basically altogether and, despite still holding that desire to bond with him, their communication broke down completely. Eventually things plummet downhill. He's aghast at the decision of Meliodas to throw everything away and abandon him and their people for a wretched monster. He gave Meliodas chances but grows to despise his brother for kick starting the devastating Holy War and it's consequences. The sense of brotherhood, a desire for closeness now appeared to him as only ever haven been one sided. A whimsical fantasy of his own concoction. This goddess is worth more to him than his own brother which may have been nothing much in the end considering how easily Meliodas leaves. Zeldris desperately tried holding onto all of his close relationships, until they imploded and he was left with nothing. Before he knows it, Zeldris' support system is non existent. Brother a dishonorable traitor, Gelda sealed away, and as the new leader of the Commandments he's made to accept the Piety aka the tightest leash. If he displays disobedience anywhere near the degree that Meliodas had he's automatically enslaved to the complete will of his father. He curses Meliodas for inflicting this fate upon him, and himself for being too weak to do anything about it.

The demons effectively lose the war and it's a humiliating defeat. 3000 years later, Gelda is gone. He can only assume she died in the time he was sealed away when the rest of the vampires were eradicated by the so called seven deadly sins. When he sees his brother again it is nothing as he remembers. The stern, cold and emotionless but fierce and determined pillar of strength he relied on is nowhere to be found. His real brother also died a long time ago. This grinning shell masquerading as Meliodas boasts that he and the sins will stop them. As if to top it all off, the very cause of his elder brother's current predicament walks around blissfully oblivious to the suffering she has wrought on them all by stealing away Meliodas from them. It's maddening. He regrets nothing when he makes Elizabeth recall the depths of her sins.

It's no wonder when all is said and done, when Meliodas tries to save Zeldris / asks if it's alright that he fights for him, the man can only stare at him in shocked disbelief.

Extra side note

In the past I've been struck by the fact that the dynamic between the Demon King, Meliodas, and Zeldris echo eerily similar to characters like Ozai, Zuko, and Azula. So many things are the same. You got: uncaring bastard of a father complete with a use and abuse relationship and psychological manipulation on the side, mother MIA from their lives, the heir apparent turning traitor, younger sibling trying to off the older one that they hate, and so on.

The only differences are that Mel and Zel's sibling relationship wasn't as twisted (initially), one of siblings was actually killed off, and Demon King can do a lot more damage that doesn't leave such visible scars. I mean, how lucky are demons to have such great regenerative properties amirite? oof. as i was writing this I also remembered the Thanos, Gamora, and Nebula vibes, and yikes you can bet Demon King did that type of shit too.

#⁺✧⠀⠀`⠀headcanon⠀﹕⠀❪ both rage and tenderness. ❫ #abuse mention tw #genocide mention tw #( i may add onto this later bc i skimmed a lot of things and left out some later plot points but god these two )

[inthenextchapter]

Controversial Fame - Chapter 2

When Mila Jordan meets her long-time celebrity crush Nicholas Whitmore, she understands why people say you're better off without meeting your idols.

But Nick surprises her by showing glimpses of the maturity he should possess, being older than her - only to turn around and act like men half his age, going from one girl to the other at every party they meet. Contrary to what most - even Nick - believe, Mila doesn't mind. In fact, she envies him: after losing her husband and being propelled to fame for the eulogy she performed at his funeral, she's sure she'll never fall in love again. So she's determined to learn the art of casual relationships so she won't spend the rest of her life alone.

What happens when Nick offers to be the one to teach her how to be in a physical relationship without emotional attachment?

Will Nick be prepared to realize the student overcame the master?  

It was almost 2 AM by the time I left Louis’s guest bedroom. Cynthia was always a good fuck, but man, did she take her time to get down to business. If I wanted to wine and dine someone before getting down to business, I wouldn’t be in this damn party, in the first place!

I smiled at some people I know, silently praying no one would pull me towards more meaningless conversation. Friday nights would go so much smoother if people were honest to themselves about what it was that they wanted to be doing in the evening.

Having a drink? Hey, a party is a good place for that. Even dancing, that much was understandable, but the truth of the matter was that most people were here because they either wanted to fuck someone, or wanted people to know they were friends with someone.

And that was something I just couldn’t understand. Well, not the fucking part, I was in that group, too - but I never lied about it. There was no need to pretend something more than sex was going to happen, every woman I’d been with knew that I didn’t fake pleasantries to get them into bed with me.

My Friday nights were about fucking, and only that.

“Hey, Nick!” I almost froze upon hearing my nickname, but thankfully it was only Jesse trying to call me back into the group. They’d moved onto one of the game rooms and everyone was seated in a sort of semicircle around a coffee table filled with dozens of beer bottles.

I smiled, because if there was one thing that helped me handle the dread of parties (apart from fucking) it was talking to my friends. “You disappeared so suddenly, no one knew where you were!” My best friend teased me, only to hear the echo of laughter as I took a place on the couch next to the new girl.

“You can’t be that stupid,” Rachel teased him, giving Jesse a playful punch. “He disappeared into the house with Cynthia. Of course you knew what they were up to!” Being almost as bad as I was when it came to sex and relationships, Jesse just shrugged. If there was one thing he loved, it was teasing me to death.

“He said in an interview this week that he was looking to settle down and have a family. I figured he’d be somewhere proposing to her or something.” More laughter flowed freely around the room, but I could feel my cheeks start to burn.

Leave it to Jesse to miss the line between teasing and making someone uncomfortable. I couldn’t call him out, though - he wasn’t wrong. I still remembered the second after I blurted out those words to the interviewer of a morning show - I could blame the hour, how hungover I was, anything, but the damage had been done…

Thousands of fangirls had my twitter going insane, offering to become the mother of my proverbial children, and the worst part is that I couldn’t say that I hated it.

“I’ll give you this,” Rachel interjected, looking pensive as she waved her beer around as a prop. “You’re almost forty! As the oldest in the group, you should be the one at least considering the idea of settling down.”

I rolled my eyes as I accepted a cold beer someone offered, quickly leaning back to take a swig of it. I didn’t miss the way the newcomer’s eyes watched me, and it made me smirk.

“I don’t understand why you’re so worried about it. I’m not that old, Rachel. The second I decide to settle down…” I didn’t manage to finish my sentence. A little giggle had me interrupting my train of thought, turning to the side to frown at the new girl and find out what it was exactly that she considered being so funny.

“Something wrong?” To her point, she looked mortified, staring at the empty bottle in her hand as if wishing it would burst into flames and give her an out from this conversation. I hadn’t been around her long enough to know how much she’d drank, but it was safe to assume alcohol had played a part in her inability to stay quiet.

“Not really.” She tried to get away with it, but I wouldn’t let her. Maybe it was the alcohol in my own veins, but I was more than a little curious to know what that giggle meant and what was the image the newcomer had of me now. “I’m sorry.”

“No, by all means. Tell us.” There was a little moment of visual confrontation, but even then she seemed reluctant to admit what it was that ran through her head while I was speaking. “C’mon, we’re all friends here.”

I didn’t mention that we - her and I - weren’t just yet - and that I had no intention of letting our relationship become that. For the purposes of what I wanted from her, however, it was important that I knew exactly what it was that she thought of me, and I’d do anything to learn that.

The newcomer - Mila, I remembered it now - looked at Rachel as if asking for help, but the other woman just shrugged, probably too drunk by now to pick up on how uncomfortable the atmosphere had become. Finally, Mila adjusted on her seat and took a deep breath - beer bottle no longer in her hands to give her the extra nudge that she needed.

“It’s just that… I mean, look at you.” She pointed at my outfit, which consisted of a tank-top with a flannel and a baseball cap flipped back. “You don’t look forty, you look like a teenager. If you wanted to be married, you’d be. It’s obvious that you’ll never go down that road, though - unless something really out of the ordinary happens.”

I wanted to ask her why she thought that, but the answer seemed to be obvious enough. Even though I hardly knew her, this woman had been able to perfectly analyze me just by watching my behavior tonight, and I can’t say it felt too good to be so easily judged, even if we were amongst friends.

Her ability to see right through me sparked up some of my deep-seated insecurities. Who’s to say my fans, my audience, can’t see the act I put up every time the cameras are on me? They expect a character in my movies, of course, but not when I’m being interviewed.

Fuck, this woman really ruined the night for me. And she didn’t even know me. That was the worst part. She just had to insert herself into the conversation and turn it upside down. How annoying.

“If I wanted to be married” as if it was so simple. Dating in Hollywood was never simple, and finding someone to settle down with was a challenge enough of its own without fame to consider.

“Does this mean you’re offering?” At her tilted head, a sign of her confusion, I quickly clarified. “Would you like to marry me?” Everyone, including her, broke down into laughter, but I could see there was some embarrassment in her features that she was trying to hide.

I chuckled, drinking my beer while I waited for her response, which she only gave me after wiping her hands down on the loose fabric of her dress. Another sign of nervousness. Good, so I wasn’t the only one feeling this way. “See? That’s the thing. You could have anyone you wanted. It’s not for lack of suitors that you’re still single. So it has to be for the lack of real interest.”

I pondered over her words, my lips pursing as I leaned back on my chair once more. But my eyes never left hers, and I struggled to make sense of the fog of anxiety that was quickly clouding my judgment as my friends waited for my rebuttal.

I looked at the woman who seemed to read me so well with barely veiled interest. She was so young, definitely way younger than me, but despite her obvious nervousness in this environment (then again, she was just starting to get introduced into this world, I remembered), the way she spoke made it seem like she was certain of what she said. And seeing as she was talking about my life, that gave me very conflicting feelings.

First, I felt weirdly understood by this complete stranger who had just waltzed into my friend group. No one here had ever considered this possibility - or if they had, they certainly didn’t have the guts to confront me about it. But here she was, like something out of a novel, just suddenly here and seemingly seeing parts of my soul I’d never exposed to anyone before.

Which, of course, also infuriated me. Try as I might, I didn’t like to be vulnerable, especially in front and because of someone I barely knew. It was irrational and a little bit childish, but I couldn’t control that part of my brain - maybe because of the alcohol, maybe because of the entire situation.

“Very well,” I smirked. “I like how you think of me. Guess it means you find me incredibly attractive, huh?” I winked in her direction, and she ducked her head to hide her expression, but I knew the effect I had on her. I saw the way she looked at me, and it wasn’t that different from the way I had trailed my eyes up her body. “Still, I’d like to know how the hell would you know that all that it takes for a marriage to work is interest.”

She cleared her throat at that, straightening up on the chair as she found the courage to look me in the eye again. I thought that question would have shut her up, the perfect nudge to make her realize she didn’t have the authority to keep talking about this subject, but it was clear that it hadn’t been the case at all.

“I’ve been married, actually,” she clarified, and even though I didn’t sense any presumptuousness in her tone, it still made my blood boil. So I shrugged, taking another swig of my beer before commenting, as if it was no big deal at all, “And so what? If he got tired of you, it’s not like interest is everlasting, is it?”

I regretted the words as soon as they were out. I closed my eyes as I mentally punched myself for hurting someone so viciously for something this small, but when I opened them again, she wasn’t there anymore.

Rachel was though, and she stared at me with clear anger in her features.

“Her husband died, you asshole.”

I felt like I’d been punched to the stomach. Because the worst part was, I knew it. I knew it and I just didn’t remember it. The video I watched, the video that propelled her into the eyes of the nation, was her eulogy to her late husband, and I was nothing but a fucking idiot.

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