#and once while she was using me my dad found out and he got pissed and i told her like ive been fucking SAYING THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN so

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Aita for "yelling" at my teenage sister for putting earrings through the ears of my childhood stuffed animal?

🤬🐘 <- cause that was me holding them when I found out lmao

So I (22 two spirit, I was 20 when this happened) have had Ellie (Ive used He/she/they for Ellie my whole life, they never had a set gender), a stuffed realtively realistic elephant, since I was at least 3 years old. He was a plush of big Al, the elephant mascot for crimson Tide of the university of Alabama. (Roll tide?) that my dad owned but eventually it was cuddled by 3 yr old me and dragged to my room and out of his man cave (which I don't know why he had a big al plush, we're from Ohio) never to return. I think she had a jersey or hat or something at some point but she doesn't now. Considering just how cuddled Ellie was, it's a miracle how good her condition is. No rips, tears, bald patches or holes beyond the plasticy coating on one of his tusks ripping off in a few places. I wasn't super violent with my toys and never drew on them or ripped them up. The most I did was put hair ties around her ears so they'd look like pigtails.

I've had Ellie a very very long time obviously and he means a lot to me. I very rarely cuddle him now because I want him to stay in that good condition. Well, when I was 19, I moved to Maryland to be with my partner and Ellie went with me obviously. 3 or 4 times a year, me and my partner make the trip to Ohio to visit my family, about 8 hrs away. I bring Ellie because she comforts me when we're there (Alot of traumatic memories are wrapped up in childhood home). Well, one time Ellie got left behind and I was devastated. It was gonna be at least 3 months till I went back and even though my mom offered to send ellie through the mail, i was not willing to take the chance that ellie could get lost forever in said mail so i waited.

Here's the part where I mention I have a younger sister who was 14 at the time. we have a good, if not distant relationship that is a much better place now. Here's where the problem occurred. I returned home after about 3 months after accidentally leaving ellie and immediately wanted to find him once I arrived. My mom told me my sister had been watching them while I was away so I went to her room. My sister then excitedly held up Ellie to me... Ellie's big ears were absolutely littered with my sister's (real) earrings. There had to of been at least 150 piercings in her ears, if not 200. I held myself together as best I could and very sternly told her I was pissed she'd do that, she knew how much Ellie meant to me and she should never treat other people's things that way.

I make a very strong point to never insult, scream or yell or not explain why I'm angry at someone. If I get so angry I can't handle my composure, I leave and gather myself then come back. I never insulted my sister or raised my voice but I definitely hammered how disrespectful and destructive this was to something that wasn't hers as I took out her earrings one by one. My childhood stuffie did not deserve to be turned into Swiss cheese and used as an earring display. If I had done anything like that to her stuffed giraffe, her stuffie, she'd have a cow. Once they were all out I took Ellie and went to my room. Luckily, they were normal sized earrings so the holes were very small and I can't see them if I don't look for them but it felt so disrespectful.

My sister apologized pretty quickly but my mom said I didn't have to yell at her (I never raised my voice but I was clearly hiding an angry one trying to explain to her) nor should I have said it 5 times in the moment (shes exaggerating). I'll admit I repeat myself twice or thrice in the moment as a way to keep myself from raising my voice or stewing in it if I feel like i haven't properly expressed my anger or I feel like the person wasn't listening. Everything is cool now and we dont really talk about it (it's not taboo or too painful to touch, it just doesn't come up) but I wonder if I over reacted considering the holes are tiny, not super visible and I don't think my sister did it to spite me or hurt Ellie, she was just young and dumb and didn't think about how it could mess up Ellie. Should I have held my tounge since shes my sister? She was only 14 but I feel like you should know earrings can cause damage to fabric when you're 14, there's no way she didn't know that wouldn't leave tiny holes in Ellie. I just think she didn't think of them as a big deal.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[bunnystalker]

Wesker surviving RE5. Taking a good while to recover. When he final tracks Chris many years later he sees a young woman with Chris. Obviously not Chris' wife.

Chris got a daughter. And Wesker knows how to truely break him now.

Poor girl, she gets hit on by a super hot dude not knowing that he is her dads biggest enemy

listen... this would go fucking crazy... 18+

cw; afab!reader, creep!wesker, reader is 21-ish and wesker is... *gulps*... 61, dad!chris isn't the best dad, i'm projecting big time with this one guys sorry, takes place circa re8, reader is in college, no use of y/n, chris is the kind of alcoholic dad that you don't want your boyfriend to meet because you are, in fact, embarrassed of him, wesker drives a lincoln mkz zephyr.

you look like your dad but prettier. softer, sweeter features than your father's own. your eyes are paralyzingly innocent, and he can't help himself when he lays eyes on you. you're younger than albert by a concerning amount of years, but thanks to your dad's unintentional neglect during your childhood, you've got some issues.

your father never told you about wesker- or anything relating to his line of work. how foolish of chris to not take such precautions with his daughter. you never bothered to ask, either, as you felt some sort of resentment towards your dad in your teenage years. everything he did pissed you off, especially when he was trying to bond. so of course you decided to date someone just as old, if not older than your dad, just to piss him off in return.

that's when you stumbled across wesker. he was handsome for his age, though he looks much younger and you're not sure why. the sunglasses thing confused you, though he'd told you once when you had first started talking that he has light-sensitive eyes. you, being so trusting of this nice, older man who made you feel wanted, believed him and every little thing he ever told you. he'd make you feel so warm inside, and it didn't take long for you to fall for him.

he'd made a show of falling for you, too, to keep you under his thumb. you were the type to flee at the first sign of abandonment; he couldn't have that.

your dad was shocked when you told him you'd found a boyfriend. thanks to your strained relationship, you'd hardly talked to him after leaving for college, which he blamed himself for. it had only worsened between the two of you after your mother left.

and now, at dinner, your dad thinks it's the greatest idea in the world talk about your beloved.

"so," your father starts as he saws through thick-cut steak with a serrated knife, cutting you off a piece, "this boyfriend of yours, when am i meeting him?"

"you want to meet my boyfriend?" you cock an eyebrow at your father, though he doesn't meet your gaze. his own is fixed to the bit of steak he's setting on your plate beside some vegetables.

"well, yeah. must be pretty serious if you told me about him." chris finally looks at you, setting his silverware down. you swallow.

"i don't know, dad."

"what, are you embarrassed of me?"

"i didn't say that, don't put words in my mouth." you stuff a piece of sauteed cauliflower in your mouth as chris sighs inwardly. for the next ten minutes, there's no sound except silverware clinking against your plates and your father's jaw popping here and there.

neither of you can take much more of the awkward silence.

chris clears his throat and leans back in his chair, "listen, i just want to make sure you're dating a good guy, okay?"

"yeah, sure." the bitterness and slight annoyance in your voice is hard to hide. you don't bother.

"is that a crime? wanting to look out for my kid?" he crosses his arms over his chest, getting a little defensive.

"don't you think it's a little late to play dad of the year? i'm not a child, i don't need you to look out for me."

"i know you're not a child-"

"then just stop." you're standing up from your chair, "stop trying to be a bigger part of my life. stop acting like you care. stop."

"fine, you want to be an ungrateful brat?" your dad stands up too, "then get out. take your shit and leave, or shut the hell up."

you don't really have anywhere else to go, so you slink back into your chair and reluctantly finish your food. with all the money your dad gets from his job, he's paying your tuition.

your dad downs the whiskey in his glass and gathers his dishes, leaving you to sit in silence at the dinner table.

-

your father lets the boyfriend thing go until you bring it up to him again, this time on your own.

when you bring it up to albert, he's delighted.

"i'd be honored," he tells you as he leans down to kiss your cheek, he's confident about this, which puts you at ease because you know your father isn't going to take this very well.

-

you're dressed your best, as is albert, who's got his hand on your lower back protectively. he can sense your nerves- uroboros didn't completely burn out of his system- as if they were his own, and he kisses your head as you unlock the front door. based on the black jeep in the driveway, beside albert's zephyr, your father is home. you open the door, and in a flash, you're pushed out of the way.

you didn't expect your father to have a loaded gun aimed at your boyfriend so quickly, if at all. a deep laugh sounds from albert.

"oh, chris..."

#bunnystalker ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡ #albert wesker #bunny's replies 🕊 ˚✧ ₊˚ʚ #albert wesker x reader #resident evil #resident evil fanfiction #dad!chris redfield #chris redfield is your dad yay #tw emotional abuse #tw childhood neglect #albert wesker i love youuuu

[themultifandomgal]

Kelly- Months Go By

2 Months Pregnant

How are you feeling?" Kelly helps me up off the floor after throwing up. Nyx not really helping as she's in the way a little

"Like death. I can't even keep water down" I sigh as Kelly puts a cool wash cloth around my neck

"I think it's time to visit the hospital YN"

"No, no I'll be fine" I go to stand up but I have to hold on to Kelly so I don't fall "ok fine" I give in.

Kelly drives me to the hospital where I'm greeted by Maggie 

"What's wrong?"

"She keeps throwing up. Can't even keep water down now"

"Ok let's get you in a bed and get you on a drip. April!" She calls

"Ok come on YN. Maggie can you call Connor let him know YN's in room 4"

"Can I come with her?" Kelly asks

"Yeah follow me"

3 Months Pregnant

"Ok so the gel may feel a little cold" Natalie says as I hold my shirt up for her to do my 12 week ultrasound

"Both heartbeats are strong"

"Both?" I frown confused

"Congratulations, your having twins" Nat turns the monitor around

"Twins? As is 2 babies?" Kelly asks shocked

"Yes two babies. Here is baby A and here is baby B" Nat points to the monitor. I look over to Kelly with tears in my eyes "I'll get some pictures printed off for you"

"Thank you" Kelly wipes the tears from his face. Natalie leaves Kelly and I alone for a bit

"We're having twins" I say still in shock. Kelly smiles then leans down to kiss my forehead.

4 Months Pregnant

I throw my bag on the couch as I walk through the door. Nyx comes running up to me with a happy face while I look so pissed if it's unreal.  I've just had lunch with my sister who basically told me that she can't be around me because dad thinks that I'm stupid and it's going to rub off on to Clair

"Woah you ok?" Kelly asks wide eyed

"No. Clair doesn't want anything to do with me now. My family hate me" I cry out. I sit next to Kelly on the sofa

"They don't hate you. They just need time to get used to the situation"

"You don't know my dad and sister. They've had a feud with Connor for years"

"Well if that's the case then you have me, Connor, all of the firehouse, Med and even PD. Your family has grown massively. We will give them the option to be apart of this babies life. If they don't want to then you know they aren't your family"

"Just sucks Kel"

"I know and I'm sorry your having to go through this" Kelly wraps me up in his arms and holds me close to him.

5 Months Pregnant

Things between Kelly and I have changed. I've always found him attractive sure, but recently we have been falling asleep on the couch together. Weirdly it feels like Kelly and I are a little family.

I look at myself through the mirror and notice my little bump starting to grow

"Kelly!" I shout "Kelly come here"

"What? What's wrong?" Kelly runs through the door with panic in his eyes

"Look" I turn and show him my belly "I've got a bump"

"Can I?" Kelly motions towards the bump. I give him a nod to say it's ok. He places his warm hands on my tummy "hey little ones. Im your daddy. Me and mommy can't wait to meet you" he says making me tear up

"Stupid hormones making me cry at everything" I wipe my tears.

6 Months Pregnant

"Look at you, your glowing" Gabby greets me at the firehouse as Kelly and I make our way over

"Thanks. Tell you what though I don't think I'll have any ribs left once these two are born"

"So how did it go today. Do you know the genders"

"Yeah Kel and I do but your going to have to wait a little bit before we tell everyone"

"Go grab yourself something to eat" Kelly kisses the top of my head before waking off to his office

"So you and Severide then?" Gabby wiggles her eyebrows

"We're friends" Gabby gives me a look as if I'm mad as we walk into the kitchen area

"So you don't find him attractive?"

"I slept with him 6 months ago so you answer that question"

"I just mean are you sure your just friends? Because I see how you look at one another. Would you go on a date with him?"

"I mean yeah, but he definitely sees me as just a friend. Trust me"

7 Months Pregnant

Ok so he didn't see me just as a friend. Kelly and I went on a date and it went well. We went out to a café for breakfast and now we're dating. I'm still sleeping in a separate room for the most part and now we're decorating the babies room but can't decide on the colour of the room

"I feel like grey all over will be to much" I tell Kelly looking at the room "I saw on Pinterest a white wallpaper with loads of grey elephants. The white will break up the grey a bit" I get out my phone and show Kelly the wall paper

"Lets see if we can find that paper or some similar"

"Oh also I want a rocking chair"

"We can get a rocking chair" Kelly chuckles.

#kelly severide imagine #kelly severide #kelly severide x yn #kelly severide x oc #kelly severide x reader #one chicago imagine #one chicago #chicago fire #chicago fire imagine

[bitchinbarzal]

“Your daddy’s here” | Tate’s World

-

You were at home, an uncommon weekend alone with Ethan without Tatum.

She was at her dad’s house for the weekend, he had finally come to see her after many weeks cancelling his plans with her.

Half way through your movie, your phone starts ringing on the table infront of you.

You pick it up;

“Hello?”

“Mommy?” You pull the phone away, checking the caller ID

“Tate?!” Ethan perks up next to you “Baby why are you calling me? What’s wrong? Who’s phone have you got?”

You hear crumpling on the phone before another voice speaks, this time a woman

“Hello, sorry my name is Rachel! Your daughter approached me on the street and told me she’d lost her dad… your phone number was on her coat label I thought I’d better call someone”

Your heart dropped, running to the front door to put your shoes on. Ethan, still no clue what was going on followed suit and grabbed the car keys.

“Yeah, yes! Thank you we appreciate it so much could you please text me with your location and would you mind staying with my daughter until we get there?” You we’re running out to the car.

“Yes, yes of course! I’ve just sent over those details to you — we’ll sit with her until you arrive” you thanked her before you heard them in the distance say to Tate “C’mon sweetie your mommy’s coming for you”

You hung up, foot bouncing against the floor as Ethan served through the downtown streets.

“I can’t believe he fucking lost her!”

“Let’s just get Tate-“ “He left her Ethan!”

He sighed “You need to be calm, we need to be calm for Tate okay? I’m just as pissed off as you are at him but she’s going to be so scared baby”

You knew he was right, opting to look out the window and try calm yourself.

Once you’d pulled up to the location you both jumped out, rushing to where you saw Tate standing with two girls who couldn’t be older than nineteen years old.

“Tate!” “Mama!”

You pulled her into you, hugging her then pulling away to check her for injury “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

“No I fine” you smiled softly, standing up now to see those girls.

“Thank you, thank you so much for calling us you don’t know how grateful we are!” You cried out.

They smiled “It’s no bother honestly we saw her wandering around for a while and approached her, im just glad it was us who found her”

You didn’t even want to think about the danger she could be in if it was other people who had approached her on the streets.

“She says her dad and his girlfriend left her in the car and she was too hot so she got out to look for him and she thinks that she got lost” they explained, your blood boiling with every word.

“He’s… the less I say about that man the better”

“She was crying and kept saying she wanted her daddy, told us we could take her to the hockey rink? That we could find him there?” You nodded in understanding, Ethan crouched down to pick Tate up into his arms.

“Thank you again, we really appreciate it!”

You took Tatum back to the car, strapping her in before you called Ryan.

“Hello?”

“Hello? That’s what you have to say to me? Hello?!”

“What do you want y/n?”

“Where is our daughter?” You snapped

“With me obviously where else would she be?”

You rolled your eyes “Put her on the phone”

“She’s busy” “you’re a liar! She’s in the back of our car right now!”

“What?” “You left her in the car! Ryan is summer and you’ve left her in the car to do god knows what! She ran off to look for you!”

“Oh shit!”

“You’re a sack of shit Ryan! What? You abandoned her in the car to go play happy families with your girlfriend and other kid? She’s not a fucking puppy you chose to take out!”

Before he could say anything you hung up immediately.

When you got home Tate seemed to cheer up, rushing off to play with her toys.

A little before dinner the doorbell went, opening it to find your ex on the other side. You went to shut the door on him

“Let me see her!”

You looked at him with crazed eyes “No”

“She’s my daughter!” “You left her in a car you should be thankful I haven’t called child protective services!”

He rolled his eyes “you’re being dramatic y/n…”

“No Ryan i’m not! She is your daughter too you don’t get to pick and choose when to spend time with her because you’ve got another daughter now and your new girlfriend is jealous of our 5 year old!”

He couldn’t say anything before Ethan appeared behind you and opened the door further

“I think it’s best if you leave, man”

“Oh fuck off Edwards you’ve been after y/n since we were freshmen and now you want my kid too”

Ethan couldn’t reply when Tatum stood behind him “Daddy…”

Ethan turned as well as Ryan. She looked between them both and ran to leap into Ethan’s arms, her head dropping onto his shoulder

“Daddy come play now?”

“Yeah baby, let’s go”

You could see the look of anger on Ryan’s face as the two walked off into your home.

“He can’t replace me y/n”

You smiled smugly “Yet he’s more of a father than you’ve ever been?” Before shutting the door on him.

When putting Tate to bed later on she went as usual only to wake you up hours later claiming she had a nightmare. You could hear the tears in her voice as she told you what it was about.

Going into details about how she was alone again and she was left alone in the car.

Your heart broke listening to her.

Ethan pulled her little body onto his and she cuddled into his chest as a pillow

“You’re alright princess, I’ve got you now”

You turned over, pushing the hair off her face “We’re here baby you’re never alone”

“Mommy’s here” you mumbled and she replied

“And daddy’s here”

Ethan could’ve cried hearing it but instead kissed her head and said “Yeah, and your daddy’s here. Nothings gonna happen when I’ve got you”

#tate’s world

[nighthaterfrfr]

Do you have any more headcanons/thoughts about your Steph and Max as half-siblings AU? :)

BRO IVE BEEN OK

ive been wanting to discuss this for so long but for ppl who want to know (mostly background)

-i think that max and steph share the same dad, he seems like the one to sleep around. however, he settled w steph's mother and a secretly pregnant max's mother ended up w his ass of a dad.

-for a while, maybe 13-14 years, they never knew about their relation to each other. however, max and steph definitely saw the other one in school. max was praised as a football prodigy and steph was infamous for being a slacking and skipping mayor's daughter.

-they look somewhat similar. from the nose, ears, eyes, hell even the hair? there are small differences here and there, but they were definitely called siblings by their classmates

-they were also quite good friends. apparently, once u find out both ur dads are assholes, u bond. max would invite her to all his football games and she somehowb goes. these two were best friends, practically inseparable.

-one day in 7th grade, solomon was complaining to ms tessburger abt his affair. steph was overhearing about how it's odd to see one of kids succeed at something, while the daughter he has is doing nothing of importance.

-like any teenage girl w a completely shitty relationship w her father, steph was enraged, and a bit jealous. finding out she was related to max unlocked a bit of a one-sided hating towards him

-max however, always knew that he had a sister. before his mom divorced, she told him stories abt his birth father, and how when she was with him, she had no idea solomon already had a girlfriend.

-she reached out to steph's mother and had informed her of what happened. however, since she couldn't get out of the marriage jst yet, her mother instead acknowledged and thanked max's mother.

-ofc, max's mom never told him who his sister was. knowing him and his father, she feared that sudden new relation between him and the mayor's daughter may get to his head. so, instead she jst told him that he had a sister in hatchetfield.

-from around mid 7th grade to early 8th grade, max noticed how whenever steph was forced into a group w him, she'd always looked pissed off. annoyed. generally angry.

-in the 8th grade during lunch, max came up to her table, asking "the hell is wrong w me??? we used to be close u fuckin', uh... DINGUS!" this offended the hell out of steph and she umped out of her seat and started to swing punches at max. as any middle school in america does, a bunch of students started recording and posting it.

-steph and max sat in the principal's office, both with a lot of bruises and some bloody hands and noses. as solomon lauter and jagerman's father walked in, both of them stared at each other. eventually, max's father got into a full blown yell w solomon.

-as the two kids watched their fathers yelled at one another, that was when steph turned to max and finally revealed why she was so distant. "apparently, ur my fucking brother or smth."

-max sighed, looking at steph w a disappointed glare. "im sorry for being.. ur brother, i guess?" he replied, the two laughing as he explained his side of the story, and further strained the relationship between steph and solomon

(alr onto actual headcanons)

-they do love joking abt being half-siblings around their friends. despite it being true, theyre all so confused on if either max or steph is lying or not.

-the first person for max who found out that his sister was steph was kyle. he couldn't rlly believe it, but he jst kinda vibed. so max telling him went rlly chill.

-on steph's side however, when pete found out she had max jagerman as a brother, she was immediately bombarded with questions and pleas from pete. she tried offering these ideas to max, but he dismissed them, telling her "i need to remain on top, steph!" secretly, he does go easier on the nerds. by a little bit.

-max and steph spend the most time together outside of home, more at school or wherever. whether its going bowling w max's teammates at some bowling lanes, or hanging out in the lakeside mall jst the two of them.

-neither of them ever had a proper enough relationship w their family, so spending time w each other relived them of that disappointing truth a little bit.

-one time, max got so pissed at steph he threw a football at her from like, 40 yards away in order to get her attention. unfortunately, steph being preoccupied on her phone did not notice the absolute perfect throw coming right into her head.

-safe to say, he apologized and ran to her, trying his best to relieve her of a bruise.

-because of this incident, steph had wanted to begin learning how to play football. max was her teacher, and he sucked at it. like, explaining anything to her was alien to steph. however, over time, she slowly got the hang of it, and was good to a point when max stopped teaching her

-sometimes after a nighthawk game, if u stay jst long enough, u can see steph and max throw a football at each other from pretty far. and if ur lucky, seeing steph trying to tackle max. but most of the time, that mostly leads to the funniest image of steph falling ever.

i have a lot more, but my ask IS open yall lmaoooo

#npmd #starkid #hatchetfield #nerdy prudes must die #steph lauter #stephanie lauter #team starkid #max jagerman #starkid hcs #npmd starkid #hatchetverse #hatchetblr

[blueroan-equestrian]

Bully

Aonung and reader

Never directly said but I may have leaked my neurodivergence into the oc and I always wanted to be close to be close with my siblings but my mom always pit us against each other so may have went over board with the bonds in this one… oops this has you starting at 18 and when you are a little bit older 22 mate with Aonung

As Neteyam’s twin sister and Jake and Neyteri’s other oldest child I too was handed big expectations though dad seemed to be more gentler with his daughters. Kiri being so close to our age we were close but she was still closer to Lo’ak. Neteyam and Lo’ak were the only ones allowed to go on missions as dad said it was our duty to learn from grandma and become healers.

One raid I heard from one of the warriors told me about what Lo’ak did that almost got my twin killed and I was pissed. I charged to find them. Before I even could see them I could hear dad yelling and Neteyam trying to take the fall again. “Stop taking the blame for him! If you don’t let him fall he won’t learn!” I growled with a singular focus, ignoring my father telling me to go back. I decked Lo’ak as hard as I could.

Dad pulled me back quickly, “Hey, enough! Go back.”

“No! Teyam is bleeding and this moron…!”

“I said enough. Neteyam walk your sister back to the village.” Dad hissed.

Neteyam walked forward and wrapped an arm around me and applied gentle pressure to get me to move forward. Once out of ear shot he turns and hugs me “I know you were just scared but you can’t just deck Lo’ak.” I gave him a look that said watch me so he continued, “I’m okay, see it’s just a scratch.”

“This time… what about his next stupid move? What about then? Neteyam… I can’t imagine living without you.”

He pulled me tighter, “Hey, I’m right here.”

…

Not long after we were forced to flee our home to the Metkayina clan. There we were taken in and the leaders assigned their children to teach us their ways. The girl, Tsireya, was kind and it was clear Lo’ak liked her… however her brother, Aonung was crass and rude. I didn’t like him as he clearly detested us.

But I noticed he was a little bit more gentle with me so I started to play into it. When he would get frustrated with one of my siblings I would run my hand down his arm and hum, “It was a good try don’t you think? I was out of breath before them anyway.”

He’d pause before turning his attention to me with a sigh, “yeah I guess…”

On our way home from our sessions Lo’ak scoffs, “Why are you always hanging on to that Asshole?”

“Because when I hang on him he eases up on you, you’re welcome.” I smirked.

Neteyam laughed wrapping an arm around me and bumping against Lo’ak, “weaponized flirting.”

…

When we started working on learning to ride the Ilus when Lo’ak was struggling Aonung simply laughed, so I got really close and he instinctively wrapped an arm around me as if to assist me in treading water. I leaned my chin on his shoulder, “Aonung… is it really that hard? That looked like it really hurt. Should I be nervous?”

He gives me a squeeze, “Nah, even this idiot can do it. I’ll show you, pretty girl.”

…

When my brothers got in a fight with Aonung and his friends I stepped up and yelled, “Enough! What is this all about?”

My brothers got up and joined me. Lo’ak jesters at Aonung, “This asshole called Kiri a freak.”

With a straight face I stepped up to Aonung and smacked him, “The only freak I see here is standing here in front of me.” I pivoted, “let’s go.”

When dad found out he was furious and despite the fact that Lo’ak wasn’t in the wrong, he made him go apologize. It was a while since he went to apologize so Neteyam and I went to track down Aonung and when he tells us what he did, with the surge of emotions all I could do was scream. I screamed so loud I attracted many other Na’vi attention including Tonowari.

“What is the meaning of all this screaming?” Tonowari asked.

Pointing an accusatory finger at Aonung, “He sent my little brother to his death!”

Tonowari looked over at his son, “Son? Tell me that this is some sort of misunderstanding.”

Aonung looked at his feet and his father lost it, “You better hope that, that boy isn’t dead! Come with me, we’re going to go find him!”

Neteyam took me home to wait and as soon as we were out of sight I took some deep breaths and flopped down. All emotions were drained out of me. Neteyam gave me a look and I stated, “What? What did you expect me to do?”

“Tell his father and dad.”

“Well now everyone knows what he did.”

“Are you even concerned about Lo’ak?”

“Of course but what use am I right now? And you are acting like I acted irrationally. Tonowarni is going to find him and that was emotionally draining!”

Neteyam plopped down by me, “I guess you are right, I’m sorry. You know he’ll be alright.”

…

I was walking on the beach on my way to the grove for some special fruit when Ao’nung came out of the water and tried to catch up with me. And though I tried to quicken my pace, his long legs carried him right up to me though he did stay a step behind me giving me space. “What do you fuckin want, fish boy?” I growled refusing to even look at him.

I could hear his fumbling steps as he tried to keep the one step behind me and not over take me. “Pretty gir..”

“Don’t you dare call me that!” I hissed interrupting him.

“Sorry, I mean (y/n)… please forgive me I will do anything to make it up to you. I already apologized to Lo’ak please… please tell me what I can do to make it up to you.”

I dead stopped causing him to bump into me and when I pivot we are practically chest to lower chest. “You can feed yourself to that monster you left Lo’ak for.”

Aonung bowed his head, “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry… I’m sorry I picked on your sister and I’m sorry I left your brother alone… with a horrible creature no less. But I really like you…”

“Liar. If you actually liked me not just lusted after me then you would have never treated my siblings like you did. But none of that matters I never liked you. You were an ass, I had to flirt with you to get you to be decent.”

The last part seemed to hurt him the most, “I suppose I deserve that… but can’t we start over again?”

I scowled at him, “start over? Can’t restart something that never began. Now buzz off!”

He looked sad but he deserved it so I stormed off.

… my twin brother was almost killed and I was a wreck waiting for him to heal enough to be stable. Ronal was with him now continuing his treatment as I sat on the edge of the deck with my feet hanging over the edge, tears streaming down my face when Aonung sat next to me and wrapped an arm around me. I allowed him to pull me close, holding me in his arms letting me sob into his chest, allowing my snot and tears run over skin. “He’s going to make it.” He whispered into my hair. “He’s strong and mom is doing everything she can for him.”

…

After the battle was seemingly over I allowed Aonung to get closer to me. We were walking down the beach to go to the grove to retrieve my favorite fruit. Aonung tested the waters by bumping his arms into me before wrapping his arms around me. When we arrived Aonung would climb the trees for me insisting it was his job to get the high ones, even though I’m much better at climbing the trees. Once my basket was full Aonung took the basket from me and carried it back to my family’s bungalow. Stopping before the entrance he shifted the basket. “You want to come in? We could eat together.”

Aonung swallowed, “You sure?…”

“Yeah now come on.”

…

It’s me and Neteyam’s 22nd birthday. Neteyam has found a mate and plans on giving her a betrothal necklace tonight but right now was our traditional time together where we just redo each other’s hair. My hair wasn’t completely braided like his so it wouldn’t take as long but it still felt nice to do. I was taking out the last of his braids when Aonung found our hiding spot.

“Hey… you look good with your hair down Neteyam.”

“Aonung, what do you want? This is our time.” I snipped.

Neteyam was completely relaxed, “relax sis, he doesn’t mean any harm. Right Aonung?”

Aonung chuckled nervously, “Right… what are you doing anyway?”

“Doing a full refresh of his braids. This is our tradition. No matter when we last fixed our hair, we do this on our birthday. I find it grounding.”

Neteyam smiled as I began to section off his hair, “Well what’s up my friend?”

Aonung shifted, “Oh um… nothing… I didn’t mean to interrupt. I can just catch up later.”

“Nonsense have a seat and join the family time.” Neteyam chuckled.

Aonung comes and sits across from us, “so…uh… happy birthday…”

“Thanks man.” Neteyam laughed.

“Thank you.” I hummed.

“Of course my pretty girl … um… Neteyam… I would like your blessing to court your sister.”

“I’m right here. And we kind of already are.” I complained.

Neteyam sat up, “He means more officially… like I would of had to do back home. Aonung I have a couple of questions before I give my blessing. First, how do you see my sister?”

“I see her by my side as my light and as my strength. I see her as the mother of my children and the heart of my family.”

“Ok… Kanza already knows how my sister reacts to your fights so we already agreed if you fuck up she’s coming to stay with us. What would you do to make amends after the two of you get into a fight?”

“Well I know I would have to give her a moment and I would need it too but then I would first get her, her favorite fruit and bring it to her and ask to talk it over. I would listen to her feelings and share my own as we are equals in this relationship and we have to work on this together.”

“Last question, when did you know it was her?”

“After I did that stupid shit to your brother and she was angry with me and I realized she might never speak to me again and it actually bothered me.”

Neteyam leaned forward and patted Aonung’s shoulder, “Blessing granted my friend.”

Neteyam leaned back and I continued working on his hair.

Aonung turned his attention towards me, “So my pretty girl, I would like to have our first courtship in front of the clan during the spring festivities.”

“That’s in two days, Aonung! Why are you asking so late!” I scolded pausing on the braid I was focusing on.

Aonung blushed, “Well I’ve been out for trainings for the past month and I thought it would be cute to ask you on your birthday.”

Neteyam chuckled reaching back to pat my shoulder, “It is cute but if you haven’t noticed my sister isn’t someone who handles things sprung on her very well.”

I groaned, “I hate that you are right about that but yeah it’s cute… but what if I mess it up. I still don’t have all your traditions down.”

Aonung smiled reaching out to touch my cheek, “Ma (y/n), this is just a formality, nothing to worry about.”

I raised my eyebrows working on a hair knot, “Really our clan used it as a way for the clan to decide whether or not to accept them as their leaders mate.” Aonung went quiet, “it’s the same here… but they won’t veto you. You’re amazing! You have a natural healer and already have had previous training to be a Tsahìk before. Which is why mother was alright with me courting you in private and has been taking you under her wing. She already approves of you so surely the clan will follow suit.”

I groan, “Alright but I don’t want to think about this. I just want to enjoy my birthday with my brother. Can we just forget about this for now?”

“Sure of course, will I see you tonight ?”

“Yeah at dinner.”

…

I walked in Aonungs private pod, inside he had prepared some of my favorite foods. “Ma’onung you made dinner for us with my favorite foods… even the ones you don’t like.”

He smiled bringing me into his arms, “of course Ma (y/n). I see you. Happy birthday my beautiful girl.

…

The festival comes around and Aonung keeps an arm around me as we walk amongst the clan on the beach. He has really grown up but I started to notice how he seems just as nervous as I was despite being all confident earlier. I found it comforting. He squeezed me close and kissed my head, “are you having a good time, pretty girl?”

“Yes I am. Thank you. Are you?”

“Of course I am pretty girl. Shall we dance?” He gestured with his free hand.

Once the festivities died down, Aonung walked me back to my family home. He took me into his arms and leaned down for a kiss but stopped short before he touched my lips allowing me to close the distance. Once he had my lips against his, he dominated my mouth. It was as if he was a starved man. But when he pulled away, it was all too soon. He chuckled at my frustration, “Easy love, we can’t be caught making out too much. It’s important to stay proper during our courtship.”

I groaned, “It’s just a kiss.”

He smiled and gave me a peck, “You know how strict court ship is for the future chief. But don’t worry, we’ll be mated before you know it.”

“Ulg! Fine, when’s our next outing?”

“In three days… this will be a big one…. You will be coming with me on a hunting trip… don’t worry I picked a location that will be easier for you. You don’t need to worry, tomorrow my sister and Rotxo will take you out to practice some more. But just so you know I think you do great already.”

I smiled up at him, “Thank you and thank you for setting that up for me…can I get one more kiss?”

Aonung wrapped a hand around the back of my head and pulled me in for a kiss. He pulled away as quickly as he had swooped in, “Good night pretty girl, get some sleep.”

…

It comes to our last courting where his mother decides her thoughts on us and the clan decides whether or not to accept me. I was looking through my necklace tops trying to decide what was best for the occasion but couldn’t decide which one was appropriate. My dad placed a hand on my shoulder, “Aonung is here to see you.”

Panic set in, “But I’m not ready!”

“Calm down he just wants to give you a gift.”

I nodded and made my way to the door where Aonung waited. “Hey Aonung… You look dashing.”

“Thank you my love. I brought you this to wear today.”

He held up a beautiful netted necklace with beads and shells laced into it, “I made this for you to wear today.”

I smiled, “it’s gorgeous! Thank you.”

He kissed me quickly, “of course… see you soon.”

…

I approach Aonung and his family in front of the clan. Aonung took my hand and turned to his mother who announced her support for us and like Aonung said the clan followed suit.

…

Aonung brought me to the water where Eywa and our ancestors could be heard. Our loin cloths already left on the shore. Aonung kept us above water easily, one hand wrapped around me, while the other retrieved his queues and allowed ours to bind together. He was visibly overwhelmed at first, just as I was. But as we synced his hands travelled down to my thighs. He pulled me up and I could feel his tip prodding at my entrance. He kisses me gently before using his grip on my hips to sink himself below the surface. I gasped as he attached his lips to my cunt. While one hand treads water, the other shoots down to lace through his curly hair. His tongue twirls around a bundle of nerves that had my body shaking. His fingers dug into my hips as he pulled me firmly against his mouth. I whimpered as I squirmed on his tongue. As squirmed he moaned and the vibrations against my sensitive flesh. I pulled at his hair as his tongue slowly pushed into my wanton whole. My euphoria drove him further as he could feel it through our bond. He suck my bud into his mouth as I absolutely lost my mind, grinding down onto his mouth. He resurfaced with a smug smile, “that was beautiful, you’re already so out of breath. That’s not good.” After giving him a look, he said “we’re going to have to submerge for this next part.”

I groaned, “seriously? Can we make it quick then? We can have another round if you want to take your time at home.”

He chuckled and gave me a kiss, “okay I will be quick. But our night won’t be over do you understand?”

I nodded, “I understand… ready.”

“Big breath.” And then he pulled us under before he slammed into me, completing our Union. He quickly fucked himself into me. I could feel him hyping himself up so he would cum inside me in just a few pumps. He quickly pulled us back out of the water grabbed our loin clothes and without pulling out dashed us to his now our pod.

I could already feel how hard he was inside of me. He smirked, “You did so well baby… I think you’re already ready for another round.”

I groaned, “Yes!!! Please yes!”

He looked at me with such adoration that I didn’t care there was smugness in his smirk. He leaned forward to kiss my lips as he began to pump in and out of me. He pushed my leg up to my chest opening me up more to him. He moaned in my ear as he pressed his body into mine. My arms were wrapped firmly around him holding him to me until his hips stuttered and his hot seed spurted into me causing the coil in my stomach to snap and my walls squeezed around him. His body went limp as he allowed my leg to come down and my arms fell slack. His breathing was heavy and his heartbeat was thumping strongly. I found his weight on me comforting.

When he rolled off me our queues got disconnected. I curled into his side. He wrapped an arm around me lazily, “that was … that… felt… felt otherworldly.”

I chuckled and decided to tease, “yeah it was okay…” I began laughing when he looked at me with the wtf look. “Sorry couldn’t help it! It was great.”

#aonung #aonung x reader #aonung x female reader #aonung x y/n #aonung smut

[look-at-the-soul]

Look at the soul -Part 7 Lady in red

Cillian Murphy x OC

Series Master list (Bonus photos in the end)

I wanted to post this part so so bad… @heidimoreton THANK YOU for creating the perfect moodboard for this chapter, you really can’t imagine how much it means to me, I treasure this image so close to my heart ♥️ you captured the essence perfectly and the fact that you decided to create this for me is beyond words, from the bottom of my heart! I can’t thank you enough for taking the time and creativity to make this beauty! These women, the quotes, the butterfly 🦋, the Hollywood vanity everything is breathtaking !

And we have two new characters @shelbydelrey @imichelle-l-rigby thank you for your constant support through this and other stories 💖🥰 it means so so much

Song Lady in red- by Chris De Burgh

Cillian needed so bad this walk, to clear his head. He had to leave rehearsals early that day because his in-laws decided to show up in his house unannounced to have dinner with the kids and were scandalized to learn he was working in a play and he wasn’t at home, the kids arrived a few minutes earlier than their aunt, but their grandparents were already there and not very pleased when he arrived almost an hour later.

That dinner left him a bitter taste and frustrated so the fresh air was the only thing keeping him from punching something. Andrew decided to play video games with their neighbors.

“Why was grandma so serious? She looked pissed.” Ben’s voice brought him back to present time.

“Well, it’s no secret they never liked the idea of me being an actor and the consequences of it.” Cillian knew his son was old enough to understand things better.

“Like what?”

“Like… being away for months while filming.”

Ben looked up at his father. “But you’re always around someway.”

He was relieved to learn his son didn’t have an image an absent father of him. “I know buddy, that’s why you don’t have to worry about it.”

Despite the differences he might have with his in-laws, he didn’t want them to look at his late wife’s parents differently, he wanted to help them being close to their relatives.

“When you go on tour with the play, who will watch us?”

Cillian handed his son Scout’s leash before hiding his hands in the pockets of his jeans. He still needed to sort that out.

“I’ll come and go as much as I can, probably my mum or your aunts the days I can’t make it.”

“And we can go on the weekends!”

“I’d love that.” Cillian smiled thinking how many times his sons had joined him while working away.

“Can you ask Heidi about the theater school?” Ben wanted to know, those plans were canceled due to his mother’s passing.

“I’ll, although I’m sure she will open her course once we finish the dates for the play.”

“I hope she does! Do you think she will make me go through the casting and all?” His eyes were wide open, the wind blowing his fringe.

Cillian chuckled. “What makes you think you don’t have to do the casting? Ey?” He ruffled his hair with one hand.

“Because you know her!” Ben rolled his eyes.

“Actually I’ll ask her to be tougher with you, no special treatment.” He laughed and whistled Scout to go back home.

Ben looked down, debating whenever to ask or not his father. “Dad… how did you and mum meet?”

Cillian felt like getting stabbed. Like the air was taken away from him. It was a strange sensation and something he didn’t feel he’d ever get used to.

“In high school.” He answered after taking control again. “We started studying together, then we got into college and eventually we got married.”

Looking up, he found the sky, Cillian found it was pretty dark and quiet now, the stars shining down at them and moon illuminating their way back home.

“Do you remember when Ma woke us all up and it was a holiday?”

He could swear his heart did a little flip inside his chest. The memories flowing like a wave.

“And we got you and your brother dressed in record time, only realized it was a holiday until we reached the school’s steps and it was closed.” Cillian swore he skipped so many red lights that day, trying to get the boys on time.

He felt like he was failing at keeping their mother’s memory alive, some days his own memories with his late wife seemed to be fading away.

***

“There’s my girl!” Enda wrapped an arm around her shoulders to show her acrylic mirror finally, her image would be projected from afar and it would break with the visual and sound effects, he was just making a demonstration with the remote. “So you won’t have seven years of bad luck.”

Marianne smiled pleased. “Love it!”

“And your image will be in the background too divided in two columns, when the mirror breaks, so will your image giving the sensation that the pieces will be flying to the public.” He explained excited.

She could totally picture the scene in her mind.

“Thank you for making my dream come true.” Enda gave her a hug. And it made her feel so emotional, that’s what she always wanted, to help someone else chase their dreams.

“Enda you’re going to terrified poor Marianne.” Cillian walked on stage to join them.

“If she didn’t ran off when you approached her with that homeless look, nothing will scare her.” Enda teased back, making both Marianne and Cillian laugh.

“Can you do that again?” She pointed at the remote, “so Cill can see it.”

“This is better than I thought.” Heidi had seen it from one of the seats and it was incredible, she was pleased with her work and the final result.

Cillian snatched the remote from his friend’s hand and pressed the button several times. Enda rushed to get it back before he could mess it up.

After making a few more switches in the scenography, they finally started working on the rehearsal of the day. But the cast couldn’t do much, since Enda had been making a few changes in the script so Marianne decided to sit on top of the bar to be able to take notes.

“If you had plans for today, you’ll have to cancel, rehearsal is about to get long.” Cillian admitted leaning against the bar. He offered her some of his spicy almonds passing on the bag.

“Homework and comparing equipment for the changes you want to make in the recording studio count as plans?”

“Well that’s much better than washing my kid’s smelly laundry and walking my dog. You can join me.” He got back his snack.

“To wash smelly teens clothes? No thanks, a walk with the dog sounds better tho.” She had seen photos of the black lab in his phone, he was lovely.

Snatching the sheets from her hands he asked; “what’s this?”

“Hey!” She protested out loud, Enda looked at them over the edge of his glasses. “I’m writing the corrections he’s making.” She added now in a low voice.

Cillian asked for the pen she was holding with his hand extended. “Here, you need to make a pause, take a deep breath before you connect with this.” He added a mark on the script.

Marianne admitted she was struggling to keep up with Enda because he was talking so fast for her. So instead of helping her, Cillian started talking in Irish just for fun to which she responded in Spanish and neither of them understood the other and they ended up chuckling.

“The only thing in Irish I know is eejit*, Lee shouted at someone who almost hit us with the car once.”

“In Spanish I only know hola and this thing they yell in the stadiums, ehhh pu…” she tried to keep him quiet, interrupting him.

“Don’t say that!”

Cillian laughed.

Enda looked at them again.

Holding the script in his hand, Cillian gave Marianne a little hit in the leg. “You should really pay attention.” He was trying hard to hold his laugh. Then, he shook his head trying to make evident she was the one messing around.

“You started laughing.” Marianne shot him a look of faked indignation.

“Sorry about these undisciplined foreigners.” Cillian shook his head and crossed his arms against his chest.

One of the girls from the cast that got in the play just because Enda owned her father a favor, tried to walk out from the theater pushing a door that had a huge sign that indicated they needed to pull, making some noise in the process. Cillian particularly didn’t like her, she was always showing off the luxury brands she wore with huge designer names all over her.

“And that’s why shampoo has instructions written down.”

Cillian laughed really loud this time by Marianne’s sarcastic comment.

“I didn’t know we had children among the cast.” Enda tried to keep the order.

Marianne took the opportunity to give Cillian a taste of his own medicine. “Sorry Enda, these locals are noisy.”

It was amazing to see how comfortable they were feeling, it surely made things easier.

“What’s this?” Lee asked walking into Marianne’s dressing room after the rehearsal leaning forward to take a better look at the images.

“Like a collage, Cillian suggested it could help me to build the character, I’ve been adding elements I think would be a good fit for Adria.”

Lee nodded, thinking it was a good idea. She found images of Adele, Audrey Hepburn, Julianne Moore, Elizabeth Taylor, a woman reflecting in a broken piece of mirror, quotes. Even a napkin with a kiss printed in a red lipstick with the letter A and an x handwritten.

“Adria is flirty, I like that.” Lee gave Marianne the thumbs up as Isa knocked on the door.

“Are we ready?” Isa was all smiles as she placed a huge and heavy make up case on the vanity.

“Don’t you dare start the fun without me.” Michelle arrived with the hair tools.

Marianne took a deep breath, feeling both excited and nervous about the outcome, but she knew Isa and Michelle were experts in their fields, the best in theater and films, they had worked in so many plays and created endless characters, they knew what they were doing.

“I heard the dress is ready, make yourself at home while I bring it.” She offered a box of snacks she kept in her dressing room and wandered to the theater’s entrance where they left the dress, covered from curious eyes. She thanked the woman at the box office and made her way back to her dressing room, greeting whoever she found in her way, during the last days these people had been her chosen family. Honestly the entire cast was a joy to have around, she had been learning a lot from everyone both personally and professionally.

Lee, Michelle and Isa left the dressing room a moment to allow Marianne to get changed.

The nerves suddenly appeared as she came to the realization of what was about to happen. The red dress was intimidating, beautiful, yes, the fabric was soft and the design was the ultimate dream. But she was about to step in something bigger than her.

She was about to transform finally into the amazing character, looking around she found the photos she had in her mirror of the women that provided some kind of inspiration for her. She was taking bits of each one to create something unique, strong, a breathtaking woman that was about to take the stage in a few weeks to tell her story.

Isa and Michelle requested strictly to not look into the mirror until she had makeup and hair done, so she was nervously smoothing down the fabric of the skirt as the girls walked back in.

“Is about to get noisy here.” Michelle stated as she took the hairdryer, she wanted to go for a mix between Lana del Rey and Adele’s curls, the hairstyle had such a glamorous vibe, and according to her, Marianne’s face shape was similar so it would fit just right.

“Relax, I’m going to pamper your skin first.” Isa covered the dress with a towel to avoid any stain.

Marianne looked at the ceiling as they started to work around. “I feel so spoiled, like a movie star.”

Lee snapped a candid photo of the process, of course she couldn’t post anything online, but she would blurry it for fun. “Well, you are a theater star.”

Marianne chuckled, still not believing how her life could be completely different to what she had planned originally.

To be completely honest, this wasn’t work or a job, with the amount of fun she had at every rehearsal, it felt more like a blessing. Like that very moment, Lee made sure to find the right songs in her playlist to make every minute seem like they were in a karaoke. Until Isa and Michelle shared a look in silence and took a step back, both lost for words.

“What?”

“Oh shit.” Lee mumbled, storming out to go and find Enda.

“No, don’t look yet.” Warned Michelle taking away the towel.

Isa squealed, it was impossible to hide her grin.

“Gurls, you’re scaring me.” Marianne tried to read their facial expressions, but she didn’t know what to think.

She stood from the chair, still not turning around to see herself, but there was definitely something different. It was so hard to explain, but slowly she could feel as if Adria was coming to life.

“Let me re touch the lipstick.” Isa focused in the bright color she picked and gave her the thumbs up. “Are you ready?”

Slowly she turned around, feeling how even her pose was different, her shoulders back, long neck on display. She never noticed the girls left the dressing room, to go and look for everyone.

And as she found herself in the mirror, her heart skipped a beat and a chill ran down her body. But she wasn’t looking at herself… it was Adria staring back at her.

“Are you sur-” Cillian knocked and rushed inside the dressing room, but his words where cut as the air escaped his lungs when he found Marianne transformed into her character for the play.

Time stopped and for a few seconds or maybe minutes, they stared at each other through the reflection in the mirror.

A heavy silence filled the small room as time stopped.

“Wow.” Cillian stammered taking in everything; the hair, the dress, make up, everything was perfect. She was. “You look stunning.”

This was the exact same woman he envisioned as Adria.

Marianne Adria turned around slowly and stared into his eyes, holding his gaze, something as herself she never dared to do because she found it so intimidating.

“Thank you.” She dragged her words slowly, tilting her head slightly.

They were both in silence, holding the other’s gaze. Saying only with their eyes so many things, keeping others to themselves.

The first encounter couldn’t have been any other way.

He knew she was kind, he caught her offering her lunch to a homeless man outside the theater since they started rehearsals, without telling anyone she just did it. He enjoyed a lot that she treated him like a normal person and not like a celebrity, and apart from that, he couldn’t deny that she was beautiful, but she didn’t seem to show it off, it was a natural charm of her personality, she was always well dressed and she liked to keep an effortlessly look.

Cillian cleared his throat. “I’m the narrator of this story and I’m at your feet, may I introduce you to the rest of the cast?” He made a little bow with his head in the end, as he held his hand out for her.

I've never seen you looking so lovely as you did tonight,

I've never seen you shine so bright,

She smiled and he knew he was screwed. Any man who crossed paths with her would.

Adria touched him and it felt as if he was being given electroshocks.

And I have never seen that dress you're wearing,

Or the highlights in your hair that catch your eyes,

I have been blind;

It was like Marianne stepped back from her, this woman walked with a security as if she owned the entire world, shoulders back, slow stride, head held up. Making everyone she walked past turn their heads to give her one more look.

Edna’s mouth was hanging open as he saw her walking on stage from backstage. This was so much better than he ever imagined… a dream. As he saw her walking with her hand linked to Cillian’s arm, he was lost for words.

Isa and Michelle smiled pleased with their work, judging by everyone’s reaction, they totally nailed it.

“This is gorgeous.” Enda praised once more, making Marianne blush. “I’m going to get a heart attack.” He added dramatically.

“What’s all the fuss about?” Heidi appeared from one of the row seats. “Unbelievable. Are you kidding me?”

It was a bit uncomfortable and overwhelming after a few minutes to see them staring back at her with such intensity and little words.

“My job is done here, I can’t take it anymore.” Enda gave up defeated moving along the stage.

Cillian talked to someone from the lights department and asked Lee to join him. “If you don’t mind me asking, Adria… can we take a couple of shoots for the promo?”

I've never seen you looking so gorgeous as you did tonight,

I've never seen you shine so bright, you were amazing,

I've never seen so many people want to be there by your side,

Marianne frowned for a second, startled. Then she placed a hand on her hip again in character raising her eyebrow. “Of course a photo wouldn’t even do me justice, you can keep it in your wallet.” She smiled.

And when you turned to me and smiled, it took my breath away

If you could blend Audrey Hepburn’s innocence with Marylin Monroe’s devours-men look and Elizabeth Taylor intimidating gaze Adria would be the result.

Cillian felt like someone punched him in the gut and rushed to help Lee with the lights, it was a blessing that she took a photography course, she was a great support and it helped a lot the confidence they’ve been building lately as it is key to achieve what he had envisioned.

He had a dream outside the theater one night where he was walking and as he looked up the marquee, he found a huge poster of Adria divided half of her face like the defeated character with the look of disappointment as she went through all her troubles… while the other half was the made of the strong and brave woman completely transformed, when he shared that vision with Enda he was clapping even before he could finish, excited by the way it sounded.

The broken glass was set in the huge background, the lights on stage down, there was only one illuminating her from behind, Cillian captured that shot, it wouldn’t probably be used for the promo, but he loved the way it looked, then he walked around Adria and brought the camera up to his face adjusting the lens he requested her to look down and then slowly look straight to the camera.

She took her time, just like she always did, but when she finally looked at him through the lens of the camera… Cillian knew that she was the type of women that not only turns heads, but turns souls as well.

****

Next part

A/N: *remember the characters you see is not a reflection of them in real life… if you support me, your name will appear here or in another series ☺️

Eejit is Irish word for idiot, hola is hello and the ehhh up, don’t ask and don’t say it with someone from Latin America around 😂

Here are some photos in which I took inspiration to come up of the idea of Cillian taking the photo for the play:

And some of the faces that inspired Adria’s character:

Tag list: @lyarr24 @gypsy-girl-08 @cillmequick @zablife @prettylittlehoneyeyesxoxo @kettlechips3 @heidimoreton @forbidden-forest-witch @kaitebugg03 @thenattitude @forgottenpeakywriter @onlydeadcells @babaohhhriley @lonelyweeb0044 @lovemissyhoneybee @ange-thoughts @already-broken144 @shelbydelrey @cutecurly-hair @winchestergirl22 @moral-terpitude @elenavampire21 @lespendy @kittycatcait219 @stevie75 @esposadomd @sloanexx @shaddixlife @rangerelik @peakyscillian @woofgocows @cillianlove @imichelle-l-rigby @emmanuelle19 @sydneyyyya (can’t tag) @cljordan-imperium @mrkdvidal1989 @flippittygibbitts @adaydreamaway08 @so-she-reads

#That’s what Cill said #cillian murphy #cillian murphy imagine #cillian murphy fan fiction #Cillian Murphy fanfic #Cillian Murphy x OC #cillian murphy x you

[nubimera]

Even more headcanon about Gavin and Sibling!Reader

Part 1 Part 2

A/N: It's just all the headcanons that I didn't use in the last post but this time they're mostly domestic

Warnings: Mostly GN!Reader

Mild implied Connor x Reader and Reed900

Terrible English because it's not my first language

──────────────

• As I mentioned before Gavin and Reader have about a 10 year gap between them. That means the Reed house is filled with photos of Emo Teen!Gavin with toddler!Reader

• Gavin's favorite photo is a Polaroid of him and Reader napping together on the sofa when Reader was around 2 year old. He keeps it in his wallet, and the only person who has ever seen it is Tina

• Gavin used to call baby sibling "Pumpkin" The nickname has stuck, and he has no problem using it even at work

• At one point Connor also tried to use "Pumpkin" and Gavin almost punch him.

• Now Connor uses "любимая"(darling) or "жизнь моя"(my life) for Reader, and Gavin regrets every day that he didn't let him use pumpkin

• Hank however prefers "Dude" or "Asshole" for Gavin, and "Kiddo" for Reader. Plain and classic

• Connor learned to speak Russian on his third day at DPD after hearing Reader and Gavin talking to each other. Gavin so pissed off when he found out Tincan and Pumpkin were speaking Russian to each other.

Basically because it was something between sibling and mama Reed

• He kinda start getting used to it after Nines also started using Russian in their private conversations

• Although Mama Reed is an Orthodox Christian, she and Papa Reed have never pushed their children to choose which religion to practice. As a result, Gavin is an atheist, but still enjoys Orthodox celebrations (if papa Reed was of a religion other than Orthodox Christian, Gavin and Reader continue to celebrate their father's religious holidays as well)

• Gavin is a cat dad, and I think that's a proven fact. Nonetheless I think his love for cats he inherited from his mother

• Continuing to talk about Mama Reed: she is Slavic That means no shoes in the house. Reader and Gavin still using the "no shoes" policy in their respective homes

• "So what's it like being Reader's brother?"

" Once i asked them for a glass of water while they was mad at me and they brought me a glass of ice and said "Wait"."

• Much of Reader's childhood clothing was originally Gavin's. It doesn't matter if Reader is Afab or Amab. Do the clothes fit and are they in good condition? Great, Reader is gonna use it. Even now, Reader occasionally uses Gavin's clothes. Mainly hoodies or sweatpants that Gavin wears in his teens

• Nines would like to use some of Gav's clothes as well, but unfortunately many are too small, as Gavin is shorter than him

• Nines and Reader adore eachother. They are practically bestie. Reader likes to refer to Nines as "its own Tina". I guess they bonding over both being younger, smarter, nicer and better looking siblings in their respective families

• Also it is Reader who originally introduced Gavin and Nines. They became work partners just a few days later

"I just wanted to say i just got you a boyfriend."

"I'M NOT GAY I DON'T WANT A BOYFRIEND!"

• However Reed900 and Connor x Reader is pretty much the same pair in different fonts. Connor and Gavin haven't realized it yet or pretend not to notice, while Nines and Reader find it hilarious

• If you ask me they are both Sun x Moon, Loud introvert x Quiet extrovert, Taller simp husband x Shorter Reed

For me the only differences is that one is friends to lovers and the other is enemies AND friends AND lovers

• Gavin and Reader go to Target every Friday after their shift at the department. Normally to grab something for dinner and buy things they don't really need. Lately Nines decided to join too, and every time he goes there he promptly buys a new decorative cushion. Now Gavin gets nauseous every time he sees a new pillow but doesn't know how to say no to his boyfriend

• In 2042, Gavin and Nines adopt two children. Hank was initially quite uncomfortable around the kids, not being used to interacting with them anymore. Connor, on the other hand, has a baby fever since the first moment he met his nephews. He told Reader about it, who is still around his mid/late twenties and don't feel ready at the moment, so they compromised by getting a dog and a cat

• Anyway Connor cried when he found out that his nephews' favorite uncle isn't him, but it's Sixty

• In general now the relationship between Connor, Nines and Sixty vaguely resembles that between Bandit, Stripe and Radley from Bluey. You decide who is who

• I love to think Connor and Gavin have a truce around Reader and Nines, but whenever they aren't around they call each other names

• However over time they have grown fond of each other, and they look after eachother. Somehow they ended up being a family, so they might as well try to get along

• I mean, sometimes a family consists of a Russian widow, her two wild children, a grumpy dad and three androids

#mor #connor rk800 #dbh connor #connor rk800 x reader #dbh connor x reader #dbh hank #hank anderson #gavin reed x nines #gavin reed x rk900 #gavin reed x reader #gavin900 #gavin reed #nines x reader #rk900 x reader #rk900 #dbh headcanon #dbh x reader #reed900

[wolvwa]

Rui idea I wrote in an abandoned fic a while ago...might make this a tiny series cause I love my baby boy.

Fem reader

Entertainment district arc!!!

But Rui had a redemption arc. Hear me out.

The details don't matter, this is fanfiction and you're the main character. You found a way to slip him onto your side.

Giyuu was baffled when you yanked on his haori and snatched Rui up. After meeting Tanjiro, not much surprised him and he had a gut feeling to just let you go. Hashira meeting was mad awkward, though, and you were sure Sanemi wanted your head on a stick. He probably did.

Having one of the twelve moons on their side was a hudge advantage. You all knew after Muzan's death he'd atone for his sins that way. So off to Lady Tamayo he went.

After the mugen train arc you finally got to see your little brother again(he insisted you called him that after you hugged him like once.)

Muzan is super pissed by the way—I love dad muzan.

Anyways the entertainment district arc comes around and Rui and Zenitsu are NOT having it. Zenitsu is convinced Tengen is trying to snatch his wife #2 (despite him already having three and you are way too young for him.) And that convinces Rui that Tengen is trying to get his filthy hands on you. He mentally thanks Tengen when he drags you and Zenitsu from the beautiful women beckoning the two of you to spend the night with them(Rui fought the urge to carve them up.)

The two of them make a temporary truce.

I like to imagine them as sheldon and his dad.

"Calm down, I'm not gonna hurt you—"

"I'm sorry, but you are too big to be gentle."

Zenitsu is cackling in the background.

"Someone at the end of the table eats for free😒"

"SOMEONE AT THE OTHER END OF THE TABLE EATS FOR THREE–"

Rui is happy once you have free time so he can spend it with you. He's kicking his legs happily as you play with his hair—no matter how many times you brush it, it just curls back up. He's not paying attention under his blanket as he rests in your lap while you give your report on the house you're in.

"Since when has dinner helped anything!? Kid were fighting demons, you little.."

"Food is healing. You should know..."

Nezuko isn't happy she has to share a box with Rui cause his somehow (Zenitsu and Tengen conspired against him) ((Zenitsu is the biggest traitor)) got smashed.

Rui is terrified of Muzan. He's scared he's gonna be taken away from you, and even worse—Muzan might kill you. Borderline hyperventilating at the idea of Muzan using other demons to hunt him down and drag him back.

You and the Komoboko trio are out cold, and all Rui can do is crawl under your limp arms, wishing his big sister would just hold him. He realized that he needs to protect his big sister as much as she protects him, too.

Humans are like glass to him, and you're the sharpest yet most fragile piece he knows.

#—wolfawrites #—wolfarambles #kyn #kyn x reader #demon slayer #demon slayer x reader #rui #rui ayaki #tengen uzui #zenitsu agatsuma #muzan kibutsuji #entertainment district arc

[voidwritesstuff]

Amos Kane Headcanons

->Amos Kane HCS. General/life pre! Tkc/post Tkc.

->I myself im not black, I am latine. If I got anything wrong or if you have anything to add about Amos being black please tell me. Always Open to learn, just be polite!.

->Hcs for other tkc characters are Open,I dont write x reader but I Will happily make general hcs for any character.

->This post is so Long. Eat up yall. I Will make my own amos kane content HE DESERVES IT.

->reblogs are appreciated.

->moodboard made by me.

Bisexual, fight me/hj.

Got his love for Jazz from his mother (Clementine Kane), she listened to Jazz while she cooked and cleaned,and when Amos was old enough,she took him to his first jazz bar.

He was often times compared to his older brother by his family,not on purpose (sometimes though his father would compare him to julius who was a Straight A+ student) but it did make him harbor a slight resentment to his brother. He got over most of it when he was a little older.(key Word,most of it)

In highschool he was your average student,brilliant but he was fine with just having a C or a B.

Julius got all the dates,he wars the popular kid. (Look at him and tell me im wrong),Big nerd too but there was something about him. Amos was semi popular by proxy,however he kept to himself.

That did not stop the fact that he got his own little fan club (women and men alike) but he always found it a little weird.

Didnt date much in highschool, he was charming and a total Lady/Man Killer once he opened up though.

He decided to learn how to play the saxophone during his sophmore Year,his mom and dad were saving to Get him a tenor saxophone for his birthday.

Amos got to practice music in his highschool's band/music club and once he got a job he could afford classes.

I think their family was pretty middle class,so his parents were saving up for both of their kids college. Hence why Amos had to get a job.

His first job was a record store! And since he knew a lot about jazz and Music in general he got to Open the shop to more of an older demographic. Which brought in more costumeres

Both him and Julius grew up in the house of life as well, I think they lived in the 21st nome up to their early/mid 20s.

Another point of comparison for Julius and amos is that as we know,julius was better than amos in magic. Which just fed at the slight envy Amos had.

Amos still loves his brother very much,always did. But there has been a few times where his scorn has gotten the best of him,especially during fights between him n his brother.

But going back to his life outside the house of life...

Amos got a small appartment with his own money (..and magic) and he was the chillest neighborg you could ever Ask for. He had made sure the walls are insolated so he can play as loud as he can

Always took his trash out, always said hi when someone passed by. Chill ass dude.

He sometimes played on his balcony when he needed to get out his feelings and a lot of the neighborgs and passerbys would just sit and hear him play

The reason why Amos moved out,was becuase he needed to separate himself from his family and find who he was. Cheesy maybe but hes always been in his brothers,his family's, shadow.

Despite that,he did follow some rules of his family.

Always dressed the best he could, making sure he looks perfect (as Julius told Carter, being a black Man in the USA makes it so that you always have to act and look a certain way to not get in trouble/be considered at the same level ) . Was always polite (even if he had to swallow his anger), had to always speak perfectly (barely could use any AAVE, or slang).

It pissed him off, and rightfully so. Having to perform a way and whitewash himself just to be "accepted". However he only ever complained about this to his Friends,

And speaking of Friends,around them the Real Amos came out, hes hilarious and charming, incredibly kind and so very loving and protective.

Hes the designated driver most of the time, he is the one that his AFAB Friends have given him the rights to guard their drink (hes got a MEAN RBF AND WILL INTIMIDATE SOMEOME INTO RUNNING AWAY IF NEEDED)

Most alive on the dancefloor,mans can DANCE.

Has gone to an incredible ammount of gay bars, hes seen Julius in some of them and both have laughed it off. (I hc Julius as pansexual,theres nothing Straight in that whole bloodline)

He orders those fancy ass drinks, he loves them.

Those glasses he uses are actually sun glasses,helps Him with his light sensitivity (theres also nothing neurotypical in that whole bloodline either)

As stated in a previous hc in this list, he studied music. Balancing magician studies and uni PLUS WORK had Amos seriously seeing himself with grey hairs even before julius ever even thought about it.

Hes gotten a few pets in his life, a few cats,birds and dogs.

The first cat he ever got on his own was a little black cat he rescued from the streets on a stormy night when he was walking back from a late uni class.

He heard the cat meowling cuz it was cold and he grabbed the sweet kitten and put it underneath his suit jacket without previous thought.

He named the cat Amunet. (He knows its very egyptian of him,he finds It hilarious)

Amunet was his quality control with ppl,for some reason the cat was incredibly good at sniffing out ppl who werent the best company.

Iskandar took Amunet in when she got older and a lot more fragile, Amos was fine with it since he knew she would be in good hands.

And before I change subjects here lemme add this:

Amos always dresses in suits,that doesnt mean he doesnt have any normal clothes. He does,but he uses them indoors or when hes getting groceries.

One of his neighborgs knocked on his door to ask for something and they found Amos wearing a black shirt with a jazz bar's logo and some blue plaid pants.

That outfit had no bussiness fitting him that well and that neighborgs had to leave from how red they were.

I also hc he does his own hair, he uses bonnets And that hes got a whole routine for his hair.

Seeing amos in a bonnet is a treat

I also hc his "barrel chest" body comes from his father,Amos barely works out, and hes fine with being a little chubby. Adds to his charm.

During And after the events of TKC.

Amos loved ruby, they were really good Friends with eachother. And was devastated when she died.

Was fuming and furious when Iskandar forbid him from seeing his family.

He loves his niece and nephew with a passion,def was the cool uncle. He was so angry that he could see his family.

Partially the reason why he move back into the 21st nome. He felt like he needed to be close to his family somehow (I hc their parents died or retired somewhere before the events of the saga and left the 21st nome)

He sometimes would sneak to london to make sure sadie was okay, it pissed him off to see her being bullied or seeing her grandparents not take care of her hair (I want curly haired sadie)

He was devastated when the whole Julius-osiris thing happened. He blamed himself for not doing something more to stop Julius (even if there was nothing he could do)

Set's possesion fucked him up obviously,Set would taunt him with all the mistakes hes done in his life, his feelings of inediquacy or his own minor inferiority complex.

He obviously dealt with PTSD afterwards, he had vivid nightmares and would wake up crying and screaming. He couldnt even stand the color red or the deserts or any mention of magic for a good while.

He could barely eat and let alone shower or get out of bed. His hair was a GODDAMN MESS and sometimes Carter and sadie would help him out (he didnt like the kids doing that but theyre as stubborn as he is)

He couldnt do magic for a while,so he couldnt help in restoring his house.

He missed his family dearly after he went to heal to the first nome.

During book 2 he slowly rediscovered himself, he met a therapist that was part of the house of life and she gladly took him in as a patient.

He started making contact with Set during book 2, Henc why set looked the way he did in russia.

It started off as small things,practicing "chaos" magic. Set slowly appeared in his dreams, first he was an ass and then he...started to warm up to Amos.

Which means Set low key fell in love with Amos. Because have you seen him? (Dark mlm story do go brr)

Set and Amos fucked,Amos topped. Dont ask me, I just know it.

During book 3 he never in his life imagined himself as the chief lector. But he saw this oportunity as a way to make change.

He followed the path of set, and hes damn good at it. Set could never step out of line with him ever again, and it was the closure Amos needed.

Some of the qualities of set rubbed off on him, he started having a darker/more sarcastic sense of humor, has done some harmless pranks and his flirting game has improved,theres some smooth/dark suaveness about him now.

Hes bootycalled set at some point I think. Set doesnt speak of it and Amos finds it hilarious.

His nightmares arent as horrible as they used to be, he barely has them now. But on the off change he has them, he Will Walk around the first nome to clear his head, play his saxophone and go back to bed.

The kanes have big parties for the holidays, the whole family comes to these cookouts they hold (yes,even julius and ruby! )

During these cookouts the kids get to see their family loosen up, ruby,amos and Julius act like college kids around eachother. They share 1 braincell

Its a sight to behold. Truly.

Once,Julius and Amos got into a playfight (as siblings do) and both ended up In the pool,making Sadie and Carter both flabbergasted and with New blackmail material.

Ruby was laughing so hard, she also told the kids of the brothers misadventures. The never saw their dad and uncle the same way since then (un a good way)

More hcs that idk where to put them

When ppl ask how he got KHUFU he always gives everyone a different story just to fuck with them. But truth is that he doesnt know or remeber how he got them

Philips of Macedonia was actually Amunet's first toy. It was an alligator, so then when iskandar took the cat in,Amos started to toy with the idea of making him a shabti.

He is a flirty drunk, he also laughs a lot more.

As chief lector he doesnt get days off,but oh he does take them sometimes. He spends the time to reconnect with his college buddies, have some fun around brooklyn,that kinda thing

Teaches sadie how to take care of her hair,takes her to black salons in brooklynn.

Very good chef. Very good,better than julius (he holds it over his brothers head a lot)

Sometimes when Julius and Amos bicker,neither know if its bcs of them being siblings or bcs set and osiris are siblings. Or both.

He has gotten a parental attachment to Walt as well, both are happy w it but they dont know if theres not some god fuckery going around.

Hes terrified of spiders,so is Julius. Both Will either jump on things to avoid it or fireball it to oblivion. When asked about it both Will vehemently deny it.

He took a love for horror after he made his peace with set. He thinks its bcs of well, the whole shebang with set.

Was really close to fireball someone after that someone tried to touch his hair after he had freshly taken care of it. He maintains that it wasnt an exageration (And I support his desicion)

Knows spanish,dont ask how. He knows it

(This is me proyecting but im sure hes got a weakness for latine people. I myself im latine so!!!!!! I can say what I want on it!!!!!)

Hes amassed costumes from around the world, little tricks when cooking or dance moves or even little things like leaving his shoes at the door.

Hes the quiet chaotic type, as in he Will be plotting about all the little seeds of chaos he can plant for weeks on end. Theyre harmless, really.

Loooves spicy food. Its cannon that he couldnt help but laugh when Carter couldnt handle the spice.

Avoids the news like the plague, he does read the newspaper sometimes if hes really bored.

He also follows some music magazines and news channel.

Hes gone to some concerts and has taken Sadie and Carter to some (I hc sadie as a big Sleep Token fan)

He took Carter and sadie to the same jazz bar his mom took him

Played happy birthday on his saxophone for his niece/nephew's bday.

Doesnt want to have kids,and hes fine with it.

He had dumb petty fights with Julius when they were kids.

Their rooms were Next to eachother in the 21st nome. So imagine the Shenanigans

They did grow up in the 21st nome, it was their family's house after all. However they couldnt really invite non magicians over. They never brought anyone home

Ruby was the first ever outsider to set foot in there.

Clementine and the brothers father absolutely ADORED Ruby.

Uncle was the kids god-father. Always made sure the kids had everything they needed.

Bent over backwards for his nephew/niece. Always Will.

Big family Man, obviously

WHEW. WHAT A FUCKING RIDE IT WAS. Anyway enjoy.

#amos kane #tkc #rick riordan #the kane chronicles #tkc amos #tkc set #the kane chronicles amos #tkc headcannons #amos kane headcannons

[littleperilstories]

The Prince of Thieves: Every Man Must Choose His Way

Mood Boards | Chapter Titles | Also on A03! | Playlist | Story Intro

Warnings: Gunshot wound, stitches, angst

Previous | Masterlist | Next

Word count: 3189 || Approx reading time: 13 mins

Every Man Must Choose His Way

Teaser: At my gasp—pain is ripping through my entire goddamn abdomen—Bree Cooper jerks awake in the chair where she was dozing. For a moment, I do not know where I am or why everything hurts or what happened that led up to this moment.

Jamie

When Will and I were kids, things were easy and soft, even when they weren’t. He was always pissing someone off, and yet miraculously he always seemed to worm his way out of things, and sometimes he even managed to get what he wanted. Including the time he came home with the dog.

“You can’t keep it,” I remember telling him. “Joe will kill you.” I liked to think of myself as the man of the house back then, when Dad was away building the new railroad along the stretch of coast that would eventually become his tomb. And I knew our landlord Joe wouldn’t be happy if we suddenly had a dog yelping into the deep hours of the night.

That was how it always was: Will did something silly, and I tried to talk him out of it.

He turned his ridiculous eyes to me with a mournful expression that so perfectly matched the puppy he was clutching in his arms that suddenly I forgot all the reasons we couldn’t keep a dog.

Just as I can still hear my time-misted voice, so stern and childish at once, telling him to take it back where he found it, I can still see, too, the look on his face when I went back on my refusal. “Fine,” I said, “but that mutt is yours. You need to take care of it.”

“She’s not a mutt,” he insisted. “She’s perfect.”

She was—which was less than true about the next puppy he brought home a few days later.

“Don’t even think about it!” I had no idea where he was even finding those beasts, and I never found out.

“Jamie, look at her!”

Some cursed compulsion had me stretching out my hand to stroke the dog’s silky ears.  She took one look at me, sank her little puppy teeth into my thumb, and we were inseparable for years.

If Will was chaos, his pup was calm. If I was reason, then my dog was pure bedlam.

“I’ll never understand why you chose that one,” Ma said. It was a few months before she died. Her eyes were still clear, body failing but her mind still with us. I think I was nursing a new scratch along my arm, cursing and swearing while the damn creature sat on her haunches looking at me with a look of innocence on her deceptive goddamn little face.

“Neither do I,” I grumbled, pressing a mass of cotton to my arm to soak up the blood. But I knew—and Ma did, too—that if anything had happened to her, I would have fallen apart.

Ma blinked and smiled and puckered her lips at my little mutt as if to kiss her. The dog growled back.

When I open my eyes, Ma is gone, and so are the dogs. So is Will.

At my gasp—pain is ripping through my entire goddamn abdomen—Bree Cooper jerks awake in the chair where she was dozing. For a moment, I do not know where I am or why everything hurts or what happened that led up to this moment.

Fuck.

“How are you…” Bree’s words trail off when I try to shift. “Wait. Wait for Allan. Don’t pull on the—”

The wound.

God, I took a fucking musket ball in my side.

Allan. I can dimly conjure his image, though he doesn’t seem to be in the room now. Earlier, I woke up with rain pelting me in the face, and he was there, soaked through and perfectly calm, giving Bree Cooper quiet instructions as if he’d been born to patch up torn flesh in the mud.

“Will,” I manage. God, I sound rough. “Is he… Did he…” I remember gasping at her in the mud, feeling the sickening mix of icy rain and blood gushing hot against my skin. He got out. “He did get away, right?”

Bree nods. “With Geoff.”

“Hurt?” She shakes her head. “Both of them?”

“They were both all right, I think.”

Although it seems like she’s about to say something, she cuts herself off when someone else enters—the mysterious Allan, I suppose.

“Hello.” He pauses next to me, and I realize I’m sprawled not on a bed but on a table. “I’m pleased to see you’re awake. How are you feeling?”

Like I got shot? Instead of answering, I say, “I don’t know you.”

“I’m Allan. I’m the med—” He stops. “I’m a doctor. I’ve done my best to patch up that wound in your side.”

“Where the hell did you come from?” Bree and Allan exchange a glance that appears almost wary, and I wonder what the fuck I missed while I was bleeding and unconscious. When no one responds, I ask, “Why are you helping us?”

Again, that long pause.

“I just got out of training,” says Allan, and I’ll take it, even though that doesn’t answer the question. “Wrote my exam a few weeks ago. Took the first job I was offered—for the constabulary.” The moment he sees me trying to jerk upright, he presses a hand to my shoulder. It’s embarrassing how little pressure it takes to push me back down. “I do not work for them anymore.”

“I don’t understand.” Pressure is building in my chest, panic, fuck, it’s getting harder to breathe.

“I’ve seen how they… What they’re like behind closed doors.” He glances at Bree and her cuts. “I cannot respect them. I certainly can’t work for them.”

 Slogging through everything he’s said, I ask, “You met Will?”

“Briefly, yes.”

“Was he hurt bad?”

“Not as badly as before they hired me, from what I understand.” At this, Bree turns her head away. The only one who knows just how bad it was before.

“How do I know we can trust you?” I don’t think I’ll be able to take it if he says, You don’t.

He absently reaches into what I assume is a bag somewhere behind my head, rummaging quietly within. “I tried…” He clears his throat, as if he isn’t sure how to go on. “I tried. To help your brother with what I could. He wouldn’t let me get too close.”

I think of Will on his knees, held down by the constables, looking at me with hollow terror in his eyes.

“And I don’t blame him.” Allan shudders. “He looked at me with such…” The thought ends abruptly, and he stops fiddling with whatever is in his bag. “I saw the way the constables treated him and everyone else in there. I don’t blame him for not trusting me.”

Somewhere in the distance, I can hear other voices, footsteps, the clattering of pots and pans, the scraping of chairs. Must be some sort of boardinghouse where he lives. A regular house, out in the real world, not the one we made for ourselves through IA, just people going about their lives, unbothered by constables and the back-breaking terror of living on the edge every single day. What would be different if I had worked harder to catch that kind of future in my hands rather than grasping the one I did? How would Will’s life have turned out? Who would he—we—be instead?

“I think he might’ve tried to bite me if he got the chance.” The corners of Allan’s mouth twitch, so I can tell he’s trying to be funny, and I know I should be pissed off at the joke. But I’m so tired, and everything hurts like hell, and if I’m being honest, he’s probably right. Grudgingly, I mutter as much out loud.

“I’m sorry for leaving you on the table like this.” Allan gestures to my less-than-comfortable bedding. “I didn’t want to risk moving you. You lost a lot of blood with all the moving around earlier.”

“I don’t care.” Hell, does he think I haven’t slept on a hard floor before? It’s not much different. “Is it bad?”

He tips his head from side to side, as if he’s deciding how to answer. “The musket ball wasn’t lodged in there, but still—it’s worse than that,” he says, nodding towards Bree, and for the first time I notice the bandage around her upper arm. “I’ll need to watch carefully for infection. Black powder is… Well, it can be nasty.”

“It didn’t hurt when I fell.” I frown as I try to remember. “Not really.”

“Well, it will if it becomes infected.” Allan peers down at the bandages on my side. “I’d prefer not to disturb those just yet. How is your pain now?”

“Unpleasant.”

That gets tight smiles out of both of him and Bree. “I mean, how strong is your pain at the moment?”

“Unpleasantly strong.”

Nodding, sighing softly, Allan steps back and glances around the room. “Would you prefer to stay where you are, or try to shift to the bed?”

I don’t have to waste much energy on that question; the thought of moving anywhere is nauseating. “I’ll stay.”

A memory drifts to mind—Will sprawled on a table just like I am now, bandages around his abdomen, too. “Gonna have a scar to match Will’s.”

Bree murmurs, “I think I saw that scar. What happened?”

“He jumped into a fight about two years ago.” Thinking of it still makes my insides shrivel. “Being chivalrous. Helping some girl. In a fucking snowstorm, no less.”

Helping some girl he didn’t know. Unbidden, the image of him during the trade invades my thoughts again. For all his faults, when he wants to, Will can be selfless. He’s good. Yet they made him suffer… Again and again, they hurt him…

So lost in this spiral, I miss the look on Bree’s face until Allan prods her gently, “What’s the matter?”

“A—A fight?” She looks stricken. “What happened? How’d he—”

“Stabbed. Don’t know much else.” I don’t know why she cares so much about something that happened years ago. “He was always cagey on the details.”

She’s got her hand pressed to her mouth. I take another few moments to realize she’s holding back tears. “I didn’t know he was hurt so badly that night.”

“Why would you have kn…” I stop, realizing what she’s saying. For fuck’s sake, the universe is cruel—it likes to play tricks—but this is too much. “It was you?”

My memory of that night: whipping wind and a stolen kiss. Colette’s tangled skirts and Will’s bloody shirt. Terror we might never find him, and spilled-over anger when we finally did.

Even though Will told us why he got a knife in his gut that night, I never thought much about the other character in the story, the one I never saw.

“I didn’t know,” she says, slightly frantic, “I really didn’t, I never would have just walked away if I had known—”

Allan is glancing between us, brows furrowed. “I can see we’re getting distressed here,” he interrupts, “although I’m not entirely sure why. I’m going to go to the kitchen and heat some water. Make some tea. Get some broth going.” To me, he says, “No getting up.” To her, the command is, “Don’t let him get up, and no more upsetting stories, if you please.”

I’m certain this bluntness will make her cry for real, but Bree laughs hollowly. “No promises.”

“Hmm. I mean it.” He disappears.

After a moment, Bree says, “He’s an…interesting fellow.” She’s completely abandoned the previous thread of conversation, per Allan’s instructions, but her voice still quivers.

I watch the doorway through which he vanished. “Do you think we should be trusting him like this?” It’s a question I’d normally ask Colette. But Colette isn’t here.

Bree waits a moment to answer. “He sent the constables in the wrong direction. Pointed them away from where you fell. Do you remember?” I shake my head. “And he helped you anyway even after I tried to throw a rock at his head.”

The laugh this draws out of me sends a wave of fire through my side. “Tried?”

“I missed.” She points toward the bandage on her arm.

The lure of sleep is dangling over me, trying to pull me into its warm embrace—alluring in its promise to dull the pain at least for a while. The prospect of tea, however, is enticing, even if it won’t be as good as Geoff’s. “Maybe it’s a good thing you did.”

She nods.

Silence falls between us. Sleep pulls a little harder on my mind, and her gaze is far away, thoughts apparently completely elsewhere. But there’s something I need to say before I fall asleep.

“You…” My voice draws back her attention. “You came back for me.”

She doesn’t meet my gaze.

“Thank you,” I say, “for—for running back. I think you might have—”

“I did it for Will,” she says, cutting me off. “He… He would have run back himself. If Geoff had let him.” She blinks rapidly, and I know she’s holding back tears. “After everything, he would have run back anyway. For you.”

I close my eyes against her gaze, where I see the simmering anger I know I deserve. Will was arrested in my place, was tortured trying to protect me, and only didn’t throw himself back into the arms of constables because Bree risked it for him instead.

“I’m sorry,” I say. She, too, suffered. “I—”

“And I know what you did,” she says, every word rushed, as if she can’t stop them now from spilling out, “sending that message. To the constables. Trying to trade yourself for Will.” When I open my eyes, I catch the last moment of her wiping a tear from her cheek. “And that…. That was… It was courageous. And selfless. But then—but lying to everyone about it—and then guilting everyone else about lying to you.” Her cheeks turn red. “That wasn’t.”

Shit.

“So…” I barely know her, and I shouldn’t care what she thinks, and yet… “I didn’t do it for you. It was for him.”

I want to say something, but when I open my mouth, I realize I have nothing to say.

“I didn’t say anything. You tell them yourself.” She still won’t look at me. “So you better not fucking die. Because if you do, it’ll kill Will, too.” She turns away.

“Thank you, anyway,” I say again, not know how else to respond. I think it comes out in a stutter. “For saving my life.”

“I didn’t.” Her fingers flutter against the bandage on her arm. The sleeve of her shirt—my old shirt—is cut just above the cotton, a faint line of rusty brown staining the fraying threads. “He did.”

Heavy silence hits again, and I let it crush me.

I’m about to drift off into what will surely be nightmares when there’s a crash and a yelp from the other room.

“What the—” Allan’s voice bursts into more of a choke.

Someone else is in there with him.

Fuck.

Bree leaps to her feet, paling. Where did they come from? The front door is in this room, which means they got into the kitchen through the—

“I have some questions,” a familiar voice says, “and you’re going to answer them for me. Now.”

I don’t need anything more to know who’s in there, or what the hell she’s doing.

“Colette! Put the knife down!” At my words, Bree’s face goes from stricken to astonished. “I’m in here!”

“Jamie?”

A scuffling sound—a sharp intake of air—footsteps—and then Colette torrents in.

“Oh, god.” She’s here, alive, she’s all right, gripping my hands tightly enough to hurt. “I was so scared you were dead.”

“Well, you know,” I say, so relieved I’d be laughing if I didn’t think it would split my side right open. “Almost.”

Allan hovers in the doorway to the kitchen, one hand pressed against the side of his neck. “You all have very interesting ways of getting to know people. Violent. Perhaps unnecessarily so.”

Colette glares at him, the daggers in her eyes sharper than the one in her hand. “Allan Armstrong Dale, huh?”

Coughing in a way that sounds suspiciously like it’s covering a laugh, Bree takes over the explanation, which I’m grateful for.

“If you’re a turncoat,” Colette says once she’s heard the story, glancing around Allan’s apartment, “coming back here probably wasn’t the smartest thing to do. Won’t they come looking for you?”

With a gulp, he says, “I didn’t think of that.” Pacing around a little, Allan goes on, “Maybe they think I’m dead?” After a few moments, we realize he’s musing, mumbling to himself more than us. “Well… I suppose I wasn’t supposed to be there, so perhaps not…”

“Jamie,” Colette says, talking over his muttering, “you can’t stay here. Will is going to lose his mind if he doesn’t know you’re all right.”

I wince. “How is he?”

Her fingers squeeze mine again. “As fine as can be, but I’m scared he’ll go looking for you and end up getting arrested again.”

Just like Bree said.

The very thought of moving is a torment, but I have no choice. “All right. Where did you go?”

She hesitates—actually stumbles over her words. “We’re—Well—” She takes a deep breath. “They’re with my family.”

Hearing that is like taking another musket ball. “What?”

“I left them with my family.”

“You have a family?”

“Obviously I—”

“You have a family who’s still alive?”

Huffing a sigh, she drops my hands. “Yes. And I don’t feel like talking about it because—”

“In six years, you never said a damn thing!”

“Um, can I interrupt?”

We both swing our heads to look at Allan, who is done talking to himself and reapproaching warily. “Might I suggest that it’s hardly the time to be having this argument?” He points to me. “You’re going to exhaust yourself even more and I’d really prefer not to redo your stitches if I don’t have to.”

“Fine. It doesn’t matter, anyway.” Colette folds her arms. “He can’t stay here.” Glaring at him, she adds, “He’s coming with us.”

“No.” For the first time, Allan’s voice turns harsh. “Are you mad? Look at him. He needs rest.”

“Then I’ll…” Colette bites her lip. “I’ll send a carriage.”

A rich family who’s still alive, apparently.

With a sigh, she says to Bree and Allan, “It’ll be crowded, I suppose, but it’s best if you come along, too. Unless you have somewhere safe to go.”

Allan frowns as if he isn’t sure.

“May as well,” Colette says, impatience colouring her voice. “If you’re in it, you’re in it. One of us now.”

“I wouldn’t go that f—”

Ignoring him again, Colette says, “Don’t you dare die, Jamie. Will and Geoff are waiting for you.”

Mostly through the conversation, Bree has been silent. Now she glances at me with sharpness—and sadness—in her eyes. “He won’t.”

With a tight smile, Colette presses a kiss against the top of my head, a rare and unexpected show of affection. “Good. Now take your rest. I’ll be back for you. Soon.”

Previous | Masterlist | Next

Tagging: @starlit-hopes-and-dreams, @gala1981, @kixngiggles, @whither-wander-whump 💕

#lps the prince of thieves #whump #dungeon whump #whump writing #whump story #whump fiction #original fiction #original writing #original story #original content #whumpblr #whump community #writeblr #lps-writes #oc Bree Cooper #oc Will Wardrew #oc Baden Hatchett #oc Jamie Wardrew #oc Colette Haris #oc whump #Gunshot wound #stitches #angst

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for not giving someone the wifi password and not telling my parents about it when they asked?

this happened a while ago and ik it sounds trivial but i feel so damn guilty and i just need to know if i did something wrong (fake names used ofc)

so about seven or eight months ago a friend of mine (liz, 16f at the time, now 17) was brought to our house. child protection services had taken her and her two brothers (they're all adopted, but one of the boys is her biological brother, who i'll call james) from their parents because the boys did something to their neighbor's dogs and were found wandering all over town at night. i'm not sure exactly what as i've never been told, but i deeply suspect it was something sexual. i'm not sure. about a week before this, my friend's dogs were brought over here, again because cps wanted them removed.

so my friend is now staying with me (16f) and my twin sister sister (anna). we have a large "closet" that is really more of an attic than anything, so we put liz in there because our house is small and we didn't want her sleeping on the couch.

for about a month, things went pretty well. we had a good time! we hung out a lot, and she told me about some volunteer firefighting she did, and also some farming stuff she did with her adoptive uncle (this is important for later). but she had a secret cellphone (her parents weren't big on cellphones and they were kinda strict) that she used to do social media behind their backs. most importantly, she was talking to an older guy (axel, 28m) via snapchat. anna and i have autism and adhd and are kinda clueless about some things, so we didn't think it was such a big deal at the time. so when she asked for the wifi password, i thought nothing of it. one day when my mom asked if she had a phone, i told her no bc liz asked me not to tell my parents and i thought being loyal to her was the right thing

well, one day, liz found her biological family via facebook and started contacting them

from what little i've heard, liz and james were taken from their bio parents because the mom was an alcoholic and doing drugs, and the dad was abusing them. they never visited the kids once. but now this mom is telling liz that she wants the kids back, and because of this, liz really wanted to go back to her bio family, even though they lived in another state that was pretty far away.

so she goes up to my mom and tries to talk to her about it. also, cps came by again and said liz couldn't sleep in the room she'd been sleeping in anymore because it had no windows and thus no fire escape. and my mom found out about the phone and the older guy she was talking to. things finally got so stressful that my parents had to have liz moved to another home about an hour away

now here's why i think i was the asshole. apparently, liz had been lying to me A LOT. she never actually did the firefighting work (she did some cooking for them. that's it) and when she said she knew how to milk a cow, she actually didn't know how, AND THEN WENT ON TO MILK OUR COW ANYWAY. IN FRONT OF MY DAD. it was insane and it made anna and i freak out because we have a hard time making friends sue to previous bullying issues at a school we'd gone to

later on i overheard my mom telling my dad that she was afraid that the bio parents were trying to groom her or something, and they didn't know i'd heard that. so now i'm afraid that i'm responsible for my friend leaving and all that. also, since she's left, liz has gone on to refuse to go back to her adoptive parents and has basically made their lives hell. and she keeps getting james upset by trying to convince him into thinkking that he should want to go back to the bio parents

so am i the asshole for hiding stuff frmo my parents?

(fyi: they have since known that i gave her the wifi password. they were pissed, but they realized that i didn't know any better and aren't mad at me)

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[slickshoesareyoucrazy]

Best Friends

So we're on the road to see J's best friend who lives with his wife on the Gulf Coast of Florida.

A few years ago (pre-covid), W had a major cardiac scare and emergency surgery. And then a couple years ago, he had a major motorcycle accident that landed him in the hospital for a bit too. He's still with us though. Thank goodness. ❤️

W and J have been friends for nearly 36 years...slightly longer than my almost 34 year friendship with A (but that's because they're 6 years older than us, and they (thank goodness) have both outlived A). They met when they were 16. They are now almost 52. W's birthday is 9 days before J's. A's birthday was 19 days after mine. W is short; J is tall (A was tall; I am short). W's first marriage was fraught with drama (no kids though which I guess is good) and he has a strained relationship with his family of origin (we're happy he's found security with wife number 2, who probably saved his life at least once)...which is a lot like A. Only A never got the happy ending with wife number 2. He stayed in the drama because they did have a kid. And J has a strained and complicated relationship with his family too, but it's not as bad as W's. (J's dad doesn't like me but he did come to our wedding, which W's parents didn't...to either one of his). And for two fairly stereotypically masculine men over 50, they are pretty emotionally close and comfortable with each other. There are a lot of parallels between J and W's friendship and A's and mine. That's probably why J was never jealous of A when literally every other guy who got near me was. He saw the parallels; he got it.

J's original plan to propose to me was at W's house. When I met W for the first time (that was so nerve wracking). Hurricane Frances ruined J's plans. But as we drove home in 10+ straight hours of driving rain, W called to check on us and J put him on speakerphone, because W was talking about me and J wanted me to hear it. See, we played Trivial Pursuit the night before we left because the power was out, and we could read the cards with a flashlight.

W said, "J, man, I used to think you were the smartest person I'd ever met, but then I met Jen. Now I think probably she's the smartest person I ever met. 😂 You done good." I blushed. W still doesn't know J let me hear that. J looked so wickedly proud of me then I didn't even know what to do with myself. Usually guys cut me loose once they knew I was smart...they'd have definitely ended things if their best friend said out loud that maybe I was smarter than them. Not J. I remember thinking then that A would approve of J when he'd never liked a boyfriend before. (True. Eventually.)

We just took a call from W to check our ETA. J put him on speaker again.

W: Seeing where you are so maybe we could meet you on the road for lunch.

J: We are just now entering Florida. ETA says 3:30 now to your place.

W: Thought you'd be to (city) by now. I love you and all, but I'm not driving to Georgia. 😂

But you know...he would drive to Georgia if we asked him to meet us for lunch. I know he would. When J and I got married, even though W is unquestionably his best friend, he didn't ask him to be his best man, because, 'I didn't want to obligate you to come all that way.' W was pissed/hurt a little, but he knows that's just how J is. So the Georgia comment was a joke. 19 years ago, W said, 'Obligate me? My best friend's getting married...FINALLY (that's a whole nother story 😂). No way I'm missing that.' A missed our wedding, because he'd moved out of state during a rough patch, in our friendship and in his life, and he distanced himself for a while. In fact, he missed all of my early relationship with J, except for the VERY beginning. He said many times since, 'I can't believe I missed that.' Me neither. 💔

Anyway, this isn't the original spring break trip we had on deck this year. We were going to go to some of the National Parks in the Southwest. That's where the Boy wanted to go. But when A died, he changed his mind before we could book anything. He took A dying pretty hard. And he remembers W's heart problem and his accident.

"I wanna go to Florida this year instead. You and Dad never get to see your friends." 😭❤️ (How lucky am I that this is my kid, right?)

A, I'll have to live with the regret that I never went to see you where you lived before you died. You always told me not to feel like I needed to come because, 'There's nothing to do here, Jen 😂'. But there was the most important, best thing to do there. There was seeing my best friend. And now I get to visit a grave instead. Should have argued with you more, you fucker. But I'm glad we're headed to see W now. Two hours away from somehow hearing W crack TALL jokes at J for 3 days, when you always cracked short jokes at me every time we saw each other.

Best friends are precious. If you are lucky enough to have one, make it weird and tell them you love them today.

#personal #God I miss A #crying on vacation #friendship is so important and often taken for granted which sucks

[hearts4farryn]

July 19, 2023

TW! ed, sa, addiction, basically dead dove don’t eat

After years of an ed, I finally find myself on Tumblr; the HOLY GRAIL of disordered people. You’d think after 3 years of therapy, several hospital trips, and multiple attempts i’d learn my lesson. At this point I think I just like wallowing in my mental illnesses. Once quarantine started, I just went spiraling down a path in the wrong direction. But this year has been the most wild point of my life. It’s funny, a couple weeks ago my step-dad asked me if I had hit rock bottom. His question didn’t sprout from just a few of my life’s mishaps though. My biological dad who lives across the United States sent my and in-depth suicide note through his Gmail; causing me to stress over him for weeks. A few months earlier I had been raped by a man in his 20’s, but he got shot 2 weeks after. Karma’s a bitch when it needs to be. And finally, the cherry on top, my parents and relatives found out my therapist was grooming me. I knew that his sexual advances towards me weren’t necessarily normal, but he has told me countless times I was “one of a kind” and he “thought about me often.” The worst part of him grooming me was people finding out. I could handle that my middle aged therapist (who was actually very cute!) found me attractive and had other plans than me just being a client to him. I didn’t mind it. Being victimized and the stress of taking legal action was a completely different topic. Thank God, my parents decided to stray away from the police. I’ve already had enough encounters with them anyway. Back to my step-dad saying I hit rock bottom, I already knew I hadn’t. Not even a week after he asked, I overdosed on my bedroom floor with Euphoria playing in the background. No fucking joke. This was also not on purpose (surprisingly) and I had been using for a long time before this. My blue leds were on too. My mom found me in my bed; grey-faced, convulsing, while my friend held back tears as she watched death almost swallow me whole. My mom dragged me to the floor, called 911, and started CPR. Mind you I was in a thong and bra during all of this. EMTS eventually arrived at my house and I woke up to lights flashing in my eyes and realizing everyone there has seen me half naked. I cried in the ambulance and apologized to the officer beside me countless times. To be honest, he was probably getting pissed and how much i was whining and the amount of “I’m so sorrys” i was throwing out there. If anyone out there has experienced addiction and thought, “oh! there’s no way that’ll happen to me! i know what i’m doing.” There is always a way. ALWAYS. Especially with hard shit. I’ve been sober since then and hope to continue, but i still haven’t processed it fully. Instead of realizing it was a very serious situation, I just giggle at the thought of it and move on. Anyways, all this crazy shit has sprouted into my life after my first heartbreak. I had been cheated on after I poured everything into a relationship. At the same time, what did I expect out of a teenage boy? I won’t go too in depth about that, it’s always the same story for everyone. Now Im about 2000 miles from home, with my childhood best friends. It’s a nice and quiet break from everything. I just kind of relive the same day and don’t have to worry about being around my triggers. These 3 weeks have been the easiest weeks to get clean. I just hope i stay clean, i honestly never know. Without a therapist, I’m just going to have to figure shit out on my own and hope I’m doing life right. This year I’ll be going into my sophomore year of high school, and I kind of can’t wait for summer to be over. But first I need to be skinny!! I want to be sickly. That’s just kind of what I’m relying on to cope right now. If anyone needs to rant in my dms they are always welcome, I am here for this community! I get it. This is my first update here, I’m not sure if anyone will read it but hi if u do! Thank you for listening!

xoxo

farryn

#tw ana diary #i want to be sick #tw ed rant #b0dy check #tw ana fast #th1n$pø #4norexi4 #th1n$po #thinspø #low cal restriction

[borderlinemediocre]

TW for… everything

Those visceral body reactions to flashbacks and triggers, the dead inside feeling when you think about the extreme abuse and neglect you suffered, the weight of healing yourself because no one before you could be bothered to heal themselves. I’m exhausted and fucking pissed off.

Growing up we were shamed out of calling anything “mine”, including body parts. For example I couldn’t say “my arm”, I had to say “the arm.” I couldn’t wear a neckline below my collarbone, or wear shorts. When I was a toddler my mother would call me a slut because of what my father would do to me. She would call me disgusting and say I should marry him. He would say I was perfect and no boy would ever be good enough for me while sleeping naked in the same bed with me. He would tell me to sleep without underwear. He would beat the shit out of my brother and burn him with cigarettes. My mother would smoke around us as punishment because we both had asthma and it would give us asthma attacks. We were homeless and slept in abandoned houses or at shelters. I got lead poisoning. If we’d cry they’d lock us in a room and drive away. My father made me watch horror movies from a young age because it was “funny” that I was so scared.

My mother would rock herself to sleep every night and once when I was 7 I asked why. She said her older sister used to be raped by her dad every night, and rocking back and forth is how she could comfort herself to sleep. I assume she did the same when it was happening to me.

My father got arrested multiple times for domestic violence. I remember once, one of the cops found me cowering in a corner and went out to his car to get me a stuffed animal to comfort me while my father was screaming and resisting arrest in the basement. The next day some different cops came to confiscate the guns my father had.

But they pulled it together every time CPS investigated. Our parents told us not to say a word to anyone about what our life was like. They’d clean whatever space we were living in and put us in nice clothes. They’d stop drinking for the day. One of the days, though, after CPS left and determined everything was fine, my father had a grand mal seizure from not drinking for 12 hours. My mother attempted suicide three times in front of us. When I was in my early teens and was physically assaulted at a concert and was at the hospital while they checked for internal bleeding, I called my father and told him what happened. He laughed and said “cool.”

In college I was the only one working, and I worked every hour I could so we could eat and I could afford gas for my old, broken down car, and books for school. I applied to every scholarship I could find and took out as many loans as the government would let me so I could finish school. I was so brainwashed that I felt the need to support them, like they deserved to be taken care of. And it was all my responsibility.

My father’s father raped his daughter (my aunt) because she came out as a lesbian and he told her she’s not gay, she just wants to be with him. My lineage is full of and tainted with this trauma and abuse and it’s all gone unchecked, ignored, hidden. Until me.

I go to twice weekly psychotherapy, have meds that help, a much needed support system, a chosen family who loves me and who I love more than I can put into words. But this shit is so fucking hard. I made it out, got a degree, make good money, bought my own house. And this shit is still so fucking hard I can barely hold it together sometimes. Everything is a fucking trigger. Everything feels dangerous, and I still never feel clean. My husband has to come to the bathroom with me as a support because it’s scary to be in my own bathroom. I was misdiagnosed with OCD because of what my coping mechanisms look like. I have an ACE score of 10. I’m just. Fucking tired. I want to move on, focus on my life and how great it is now.

But what I need to do is tell my story to family and friends, and stop covering for my abusers. They deserve to be seen for what they are. Telling the truth is cathartic, but also fucking sucks and is draining and painful. It’s a long process and not fucking fair.

#tw trauma #tw everything #that’s just my childhood it’s a fucking horrific nightmare so sorry if it freaks anyone out #but imagine living it #really needed to rant today so feel free to scroll on #I’ll be okay #always am

[meowsticmarvels]

im curious. who are your fav characters from each mainline persona game that you have played 🤔🤔 (take this as an invitation to ramble about them)

YIPEEEEEEEE here we go will be long so im hiding it under a readmore again. also since you said mainline im not including toshiro or eri but you Know...... im abnorma, abt them

i have NOT played p1 and i've just barely started p2is (though ive watched snippets of someone elses's playthrough) but i will say. based on my limited knowledge i rly like hidehiko, ayase, naoya, tatsuya, jun, eikichi, yukino, maya, and lisa

p3 and p4 are difficult bc theyre the ones im the most autistic abt and the main entire casts as a whole are comforts for me. but anyways. going to talk about p3 first Yes I Will Include SLs too. im abnormal. top 3 main insaners for p3 though are akihiko, yukari, and junpei. for me

makoto/minato sooo so gender envy. im obsessed with his design a lot. his character i do also like hes a little goofy and so mecore but mainly his design is something i love a lot

same with kotone. also love how she has a sort of distinct personality that you can tell with slight dialogue changes that her counterpart doesnt say. shes rly real. love reload but i miss her...

as stated yukari's one of my favs. she didnt Use to be (i did like her but Not as much) but she's slowly become one and man. i love that silly girl. her haters will not survive the winter actually. it does piss me off though because like. yeah shes not perfect no character rly is but she's a traumatized mentally ill teenage girl with a dead dad and a neglectful mom cut her some slack maybe? god forbid women do anything. idk. but im obsessed with her. her character is actually so interesting to me and not a lot of people talk about it? like her whole fear of death causing issues with summoning her persona like at the beginnning, her dad being involved with the kirijo groups shit, how she puts on a cheerful front but is actually deeply really lonely :(, her kinda playful insult friendship with junpei (deep down they do care abt eachother. i wish that was explored more. i found a rly good fic abt it once.) and etc etc. idrk what to say but shes sooo. i also love how she initially HATES mitsuru and is super jealous of her and then. Well. gay tension is real. anyways shes a transfem lesbian to me btw. yukamitsu ftw

junpei's also become one of my favs. somehow. in a similar vein to yukari in that he wasn't initially my main fav character but i think his character's also pretty interesting and has. a lot of unexplored potential. he's very silly and i love him for that a lot but something i don't see many people talk about is like. his Issues. like yeah hes silly but he's also got some fucked up self-worth issues!!! remember the scene on 5/9 where he kinda gets really upset and goes off on his own and stuff. for example. like i think him being imperfect and having these moments where he's NOT cheerful and goofy all the time and actually deeply really jealous of you because he feels that fighting's all he's good for and he's not worth much else is what makes him interesting. do you get it. like him being tbe silly funny guy isn't all he is as a person yk!!!!! also as far as characterization I point a lot to the scene where yukari's more than willing to go confront the people in the alley while junpei's worried, or scene near the end of the game where yukari teases junpei and he snaps at her, confessing that while he doesn't show it he really is terrified. they all are, at that point. yk what I mean? also people don't acknowledge his trauma with his father enough (maybe because it's only really discussed at all in femc's route... his SL is so good but not enough ppl see it... BUR YEAH did not think I'd go off on a tangent about junpei fucking iori tonight but he's real. hashtag brokeback tartarus. also he's an adhder to me. (oh yeah also want to point out this line in his SL where he says "maybe I have anxiety or something". yeah. that's a line!)

akihiko fucking sanada. ohhhh man. this guy. where do i even START. he's so so crazy like what if your local high school upperclassman boxing champion guy was also really gay for his dying childhood friend and autistic as hell and also traumatized. and he's doing boxing in the first place to overcompensate because the death of his sister made him fear losing anyone else again snd he needs to feel like he has power. he needs control. yk? like this guy made me insane for like several months straight in 2023 and he still makes me ill. to this day. as you can probably tell by my distaste for people seeing yukari and junpei at face value you can probably gather that I hate the protein jokes and i Do. he said it like. Once in p3. it never rly was funny????? and what they did in spinoffs esp p4a to just make him look like a gym rat and nothing more makes me upset bc of the REASON he's obsessed with fighting. he's not just a dumb jock (he also isn't dumb lol he canonically scores very high on his exams) he's overworking himself because feelings of self doubt from trauma have caused him to feel the need to overcompensate so he never loses anyone again. you know? it would've been interesting to see him relapse in p4a if theyd actually done it well. like he doesnt rly give himself time or room to grieve in game (theres rhat onw scene on 10/5 and then he barely talks about it again. man i wish it was developed more...) so realizing that grieving isnt a linear process that he can just repress for a long time and even years after it can still hurt would go INSANE. but no they just turned him into i love protein joke number 20. okay!!! (im very angry) thinking about when my non persona friend after hearing me explain some of the plot described p3 as like a greek tragedy because like. damn. he and shinji were doomed from the start with personas like polydeuces and castor huh. anyways. yeah. continuing writing now that i've watched october 4th in reload AND akihiko's breakdown as a reuslt and i wanna scream and cry and throw up that will be for another post but ooh man it mad eme cry like 3 times. and I KNOEW WHAT HAPPENS. THEYRE SOOOOOOOOOO if you know me im an insane akishinji truther. im just. i wanna talk abt other charactrs so ill stop here but always ask me about akihiko + akishinji + ships i like in general. i am really normal. oh btw transmasc akihiko is forever real to me. also he's autistic and a ptsder. to me (tbf what persona character Doesnt have some form of truama but like. this guy in particular). up there with my highest blorbos

i dooont wanna go on for too long abt every other character in p3 so ill keep this next part short and sweet but if u wanna hear me talk more abt any of them. feel free to. starting with fuuka i love he rmy transfem autistic girlie who has every disease. i also love mitsuru a lot who i Wish had people acknowledge her deeper aspects more. like. she was experimented on and also very sheltered and also a little bit of a girlfail. shes not fully the girlboss you all say she is shes also just a teenage girl!!!!!!!!!! koromaru can do no wrong hes forever the best. i love that dog. ken makes me so so sad he is just a kid!!! what the hell!!!!!! :(. and oh man. shinji. guy who is so wracked with guilt. guy that is dying no matter what happens. guy that dies in his lover's arms

as far as non-sees characters. i rly like strega. esp jin and chidori. dont think abt them enough. also as far as SLs i like keisuke, hidetoshi, bunkichi and mitsuko, kazushi, yuko, and etc etc...i need to see rio and saoris links too they look real. oh also i LOVE ryoji

p4 time !!!!!!

again gonna cut this short so i can actually Fit it all in one post. but wow. i do like all of the IT so so much but im just focusing on my favs. anyways i love yu so much his autistic swagger esp in the animation is amazing. like he is not a "chad" he's just an autistic teenager. ok. also the animation broke me when nanako gets kidnapped he sounds fucking distraught there. love when people delve into yu's issues also bc hes a bit fucked up but Man. ouch. just like me fr tho

i love yosuke in a similar way to why I like junpei because he's kind of a loser /pos snd has some insane issues that his shadow delves into that are Kind of Insane for the FIRST shadow of the game. like ok damn. i really do love his social link in general tho his was the first one I maxed out in my (unfinished because i didn't want to finish it) p4g playthrough so!!!!! many things wrong with him and also the lgbt community has forgiven yosuke hanamura. also similarly to junpei he's adhd as hell. souyo ftw

naotos probably my fav p4 character I think which is Pretty Painful Sometimes. sometimes I need to kill both other persona fans and atlus if ykwim. but anyways i hc him as transmasc for one thing but also if atlus weren't cowards and actually made his story abt rhat it would've hit so hard. his shadow in general is often overlooked apart from that bc what about the part where he talks about being mistreated by others and feeling utterly alone and not allowing himself to act like a kid!!!! it fucks me up!!! he's also super autism btw like god damn. but YEAH point is I love naoto so much and i hate how both some fans and atlus tjemself treat him because his whole arc and shadow had the potential to be super compelling

apart from who i listed above i do like the rest of the IT so much they're such silly friends (i love you chie i love you yukiko i love you kanji i love you rise i love you teddie.). can't think of any SLs off the top of my head that were crazy but I do like daisuke and kou. OH ALSOO the dojimas..... 😢💧😢😢💧 love them

p5 time :3 I'm into it less so than p3 or p4 but Still

yusuke's my favorite p5 character probably. i domt know what it is apart from the common trend of my favs being autistic as hell (see: akihiko and naoto) but he's like. such a fucked up guy. he's traumatized. he loves art. something is deeply wrong with him. obsessed with this gug

i also do like ren/akira, ryuji, futaba, and also mishima (unfortunately. but in my defense there is something deeply wrong with him slash positive). i don't know a lot abt all of p5's confidants but i like iwai I think.... this reminded me I need to make more progress in p5 what the hell. i miss you futaba (i haven't even got to her palace yet im still on kaneshiros LOL)

but YEAH! thank you for asking!!! from the ones I've played my top favs are akihiko + naoto + yusuke respectively so👍👍👍 loved answering this :3 if u have any thoughts on a particular character feel free to ask and ill elaborate :3

#sparky speaks #persona #not maintaggjng BUT here i talk a lot about: #yukari junpei akihiko yu yosuke naoto yusuke #and some others. LOL. but i am indane #SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO RESPOND i just have a Lot to say #anddd i still wanna properly get into p1 and p2 tbh