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#and once she dies there's nothing left for him there anymore so he passes on the title of court physician to his apprentice and then leaves
sweatervest-obsessed · 4 months
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Okay.. hear me out the song 'Stick Season' by Noah Kahan... for a fic like her and spence break up and she can't move on from him...
Oh you mean my FAVORITE NOAH KAHAN SONG???
Absolutely girlboss.
It ended up being 3.5k, so please please enjoy!!
(it's a gn! fic btw)
You must have had yourself a change of heart like Halfway through the drive Because your voice trailed off exactly as you passed my exit sign Kept on drivin' straight and left our future to the right
Everyone in the BAU hated letting Spencer drive. It was a fact of the universe. It wasn’t because he was bad at it, in fact he was quite a good driver. But whenever he would drive, it was constant chatter, constant rambling, and sometimes, it would be in between NPR segments where Spencer would correct someone or pause to discuss interesting facts that he knew. 
So when Spencer offered to drive the team to the hotel across town, no one had the guts to say no. It was some random town in Vermont, in the middle of October, some weird string of murders throwing another small town into disarray. He was in the middle of describing the science behind why certain leaves change into certain colors when his voice died out.
They were at one of two stop lights in town and they were stopped at one of them. Spencer was looking diagonally across at some random coffee shop, and Derek could not, for the life of him, figure out why Spencer was looking over there. 
“Reid? Hello.” 
“It’s her.” 
“Who?” Derek followed his line of sight again and realized what Spencer was looking at, well, who he was looking at. 
You. 
“Oh my god. Isn’t that…” 
Spencer nodded his head. 
“Why is she…” 
Spencer just stared at you. “I don’t know.” 
You were now leaving the coffee shop, cup in hand and small brown bag in the other. Spencer could probably guess what was in both. 
“Green light Reid.” 
The two of them started to move again, but neither of them spoke on the way to the hotel. It was almost unbelievable that they hadn’t seen you in over two years and yet here you were, in some random town that had a serial killer. 
Now I am stuck between my anger and the blame that I can't face And memories are somethin' even smoking weed does not replace And I am terrified of weather 'cause I see you when it rains Doc told me to travel, but there's COVID on the planes
“No no. Lucille. You don’t understand. He was like, nerdy hot. And I fucked up big time.” 
Lucille snorted and handed you the blunt in her hand. “My love, my life. I bet you, he was the problem.”
You scoffed and took a hit. “Yeah right.” 
Lucille raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms. “You’re not still in love with the guy are you?” 
“When you put it like that it makes me sound pathetic.” 
“Oh girl no, you are, aren't you.” 
You sighed and took another hit—a long inhale this time to compensate. 
“Sweetie, you are WAY too good for him.” 
You laughed. “Mr three PhDs, four Bachelors, and FBI? Yeah. I don’t think so.” 
“Weren’t you Mrs FBI?” 
“That’s Miss FBI to you. Mrs is reserved for happy married stupid people.” You grumbled and closed your eyes. 
“Wow.” 
“Wow What.” 
“He was really the one wasn’t he.” 
You nodded. “I really thought….god I’m so stupid.” You stood up and started pacing along the porch of your house. 
Once you and Spencer had broken up, you needed to get out of there. There had to be somewhere where he couldn’t touch you, couldn’t find you. So you closed your eyes and pointed to a random spot on the map. Then when you realized you pointed to Las Vegas, you sat down and wrote down what you knew about Spencer, then tried to find somewhere that he had the lowest percentage of going. 
And Fairlee seemed like the right place. There was nothing for him out here. 
Except for you. 
But Spencer didn’t feel that way. Not anymore at least.
You had taken up teaching, obtaining your teaching certificate up in Vermont and becoming one of ten teachers in the high school (which supported any child in a half hour radius). 
It wasn’t hunting down serial killers, but it was still fulfilling. 
That’s how you met Lucille. She was another teacher, in need of a roommate, and the rest is history. 
“You’re floating away again.” 
You snapped back to the conversation. “Sorry. Just. Really thought we were going to get married and be with each other and shit but.” 
“But?” 
“He wasn’t ready. You’d think three years knowing one another and being friends, and then another three years of dating would, you know. Add up to something.” 
“I’m sorry sweetie.” Lucille took your hand and squeezed it tightly. “He doesn’t deserve you.” 
“Yeah…maybe, I don’t know.” 
She squeezed it again. “Tonight’s the night Damian invited us all down to the bar to hang out, I know we said no but…might as well get free drinks out of a guy who will never get the hint. Free booze, boost of ego. You’re young, you’re hot.” 
“I see what you’re doing.” You smiled down at her. “But it’s raining and I’m not in the mood to get soaking wet just from walking from the house to the car then the car to the bar….”
“Pleaseeeee.” 
Just as you were about to answer, a pair of headlights turned onto your driveway. 
You’d know those stupid fucking headlights anywhere. 
“Who do we know that drives a black suburban?” 
Lucille shrugged. “I don’t think we know anyone who has one in town, why? Is that what the car is?” 
You nodded, your stomach dropping. 
“Luce. Hide the weed.” 
“Why, it's not Tom and you know he’s over here every—-“
“Now. Luce.” 
She furrowed her brows as the headlights stopped in front of the house. She quickly grabbed everything and went into the house. 
You stood on the porch, in your pajamas pants, and a sweatshirt, hands in the front porch. 
The car turned off and you watched as three figures got out of the car and walked up to the porch, freezing as they looked at you, the rain pouring down on them. 
“Why are you here Hotch?” 
The man was frozen,and he looked over at Emily, who was just as baffled to see you. 
“Y/n?” 
“Why are you here?” You asked again. 
“Why are you here?” 
“This is my home Em.” You stepped back a couple of steps and gestured for them to come up onto the porch so they don’t have to stand in the rain anymore. 
Spencer was silent the whole time, not taking his eyes off of you. 
The three of them moved up the porch and went towards the door, but you blocked them. 
“You need a warrant if you want to enter my house, Hotch. What are you doing here.” 
“We need to speak to Lucille Walkner.” 
“Why.” 
Emily raised her eyebrows, and crossed her arms. She was used to how stubborn you were, but being on the receiving end of it was something she was not a fan of. 
“It’s in regards to the string of murders y/n.” 
You raised your eyebrows. “I can guarantee you that I have been with Lucille every moment of every day for the past two weeks.” 
“We’re not accusing her, we’re just asking—“
You cut Emily off. “Asking her questions. Yeah. I know how this goes. In case you forgot or something. It hasn’t been that long. Why do you need to speak to her.” 
“Because she was the last person seen with the most recent victim.” 
You looked at Spencer for the first time since he got here. “So was I. But somehow you failed to mention that as well. You’re losing your grip, Doctor.” 
The group had never heard your voice so flat, so strict, so full of disdain. It was easy for you to treat him like he was the villain. He felt like one. He was one. 
“Y/n.” 
You broke your staring contest with Spencer and looked over at Hotch. “Get a warrant and come back tomorrow.” 
And with that you walked into your house and locked the door behind you. Feeling a bit more bitter than usual, you turned off the porch light too.
They all stood out there. Dumbfounded. 
And I love Vermont, but it's the season of the sticks And I saw your mom, she forgot that I existed And it's half my fault, but I just like to play the victim I'll drink alcohol 'til my friends come home for Christmas And I'll dream each night of some version of you That I might not have, but I did not lose Now your tire tracks and one pair of shoes And I'm split in half, but that'll have to do
When the BAU showed up at your door with the proper paperwork the next morning, both you and your roommate were at work, twenty minutes away. 
Your sense of humor still intact since you managed to leave a sticky note for them: 
At work. home by 4.
But that didn’t stop the caped crusaders of the BAU. 
When they showed up at the school to interview you and your roommate, Lucille went first, recounting the night all three of you went out to one of three bars in the town, and then when you offered to drive her home, she insisted on calling her own roommate. When you watched her get into her roommate's car, the both of you went home. 
When you recounted the same exact story, you both were released for the day. 
“Heard you were a pain in the ass yesterday.” 
You stopped in the hallway and turned around, facing Derek Morgan. “What do you want, Agent.” 
“Woah woah what’s with the formalities.” 
You rolled your eyes. “Derek. I’m really not in the mood. I fit the victimology of the asshole on a murder spree, and the team acted like I didn’t fucking know that. I’ve also realized you haven’t connected the fact that all of them are dating or sleeping with the police force.” 
“All? We only knew two of the five—“
“Because half of them don’t want to admit that they’re cheating on their wives, and the other half don’t want to admit they’re dating anyone regardless of marital status. Not a single one of the victims were married.”
Derek just stared at you. “Touchy subject?” 
You closed your eyes. “I still have a gun license Derek. Don’t make me use it.” 
“Too soon?” 
“Yeah Derek. Too soon.” You sighed as he pulled you into a hug. 
“We miss you y’a know. It’s not the same.” 
“I’m sure.” You squeezed him tightly. 
“And I’m serious. We haven’t found anyone nearly as good as you have been.” He whispered, kissing your head. “Your desk is still empty. Hotch won’t let anyone sit there. I think he’s hoping you’d come back. I think we all are.” 
“I can’t even look at him and it’s been two years” you whispered trying not to cry. 
“I know.” He just squeezed you. “I know.” 
“God I just….”
Derek pulled you into an empty classroom the second he felt your body tense up. There was one thing you hated more than crying, and it was crying in public. Once the door to the classroom was closed, he pulled you back into the hug, letting your tears pour down his shoulder.
“God I thought I’d never have to see you people again.” 
Derek chuckled. “Clearly you didn’t read your contract. It’s required that you’re supposed to see me at least seven times a year and if you don’t, I hunt you down.” 
You laughed through your tears and sat down on one of the desks. “You wish.” 
“I do.” 
“Be serious Derek.” 
“I am.” 
You sighed and looked up at him. “Well. Now you know where I am so. Come and visit me I guess.” 
“Oh I plan on it gorgeous.” 
You used the sleeve of your sweater to wipe away some of the tears still clinging to your cheeks. 
“He misses you too.” 
“Derek….”
He knew it ws dangerous territory, but he had to let you know—He needed you to know how it was affecting everyone, even though it’s been two years. “He does.” 
“Why would you tell me that Derek.”  
“You have to–
“Have to what Derek. I don’t wan—that’s a lie. What I would fucking give to be back in DC; back at the FBI. But I can’t do it Derek. I can’t go back.” 
“But–”
“No.” You backed away from him, out of his arms. “I’m not going back.”
“Please.” Derek watched as your back straightened and your eyes hardened. You didn’t want to talk about it anymore. You were just starting to move on. Fuck. He watched as you closed yourself off again. 
“Do you need anything else agent or can I go.” 
“Y/n…”
“Then goodbye Agent Morgan.” 
So I thought that if I piled something good on all my bad That I could cancel out the darkness I inherited from dad No, I am no longer funny 'cause I miss the way you laugh You once called me forever now you still can't call me back
Unexpectedly, but expectedly, the killer was caught. He was some sort of religious nut who had decided that “immoral sinners” be put in your place. 
That was something you did not miss: the misogynistic murderers. 
But the BAU was getting ready to leave. You were grateful that they had come and protected the community you had grown so close to, but the thought of them knowing where you were made you nervous. 
You knew Penelope most likely tracked you from time to time, and you weren’t trying to live completely off the grid/untraceable. But seeing them in person, watching them run around your town, was nerve-wracking. 
Seeing Spencer fucked you up the most though. 
He looked okay; or better than you at least. He was completely and utterly okay, and it bugged the shit out of you. How could he be okay, how could he move on and be happy without you, while you are stuck still trying to locate the remaining pieces of your shattered heart.
To Spencer, you were a wonderful experience. But to you, Spencer was everything. 
The BAU had left, no goodbyes were in order since you had fulfilled your goal of attempting to burn every bridge you had. It was painful, but you just couldn't help it. They reminded you of Spencer. Everything reminded you of Spencer. 
Lucille watched as you slowly transformed back into that lost person from two years ago. Your smile never reached your eyes. You drank just enough to be concerning, but not enough to continuously push the boundaries of alcoholism. Your face was pale. You never laughed or cracked jokes any more. 
All you could do was think of Spencer. Waking up next to him, his arms around your waist. The smell of his apartment, the rides to work, the glances from your desk to his desk. It was all just too painful. 
There were moments where you would pick up your phone and sometimes it felt like the world was against you. Derek posted a picture from some sort of day off, and suddenly you didn’t follow him anymore. Or, if you opened NPR, Doctor Spencer Reid was the headliner in a speaker series at Georgetown in blah blah blah. So you stopped listening to the radio. 
Every since he stepped out of the car in your drive you, you’ve wanted to call him. You’ve wanted to hear him speak to you like he did, to love you like he did. You wanted to call him and hear him apologize and tell you everything was going to be okay and this was all just a big misunderstanding and you were his forever. 
But you had a feeling that if you called, he wouldn’t pick up. 
Oh, that'll have to do My other half was you I hope this pain's just passin' through But I doubt it
One Year Later…
Time flies. Leaves change. Life moves on. 
But suddenly it's back to October and you find yourself in a new town, somewhere completely different. Another fresh start. Maybe this one will stick. 
But then you get a call.  
And it’s from Erin Strauss, offering you your job back, and your hesitation gave her all of the information she wanted to hear. You had three days to make a decision. 
Do you continue to run from place to place, hoping and praying that maybe someday you’d be able to feel like you deserved to be loved again. Hoping that someday someone might actually want to stay. They might want you to stay. 
Do you stay in this new town, and get attached to the people, making new friends, reminding you of the old ones, and hoping that it will be enough to fill the holes in your skin. 
Do you continue to teach. Do you continue to shape minds even though it’s not something you had ever dreamed of doing. Especially when it feels like you’re trying to force your body into loving something it doesn’t. 
Or
Do you go back to the FBI–the BAU.
Do you ignite the flame in your chest and let yourself enjoy the chase. LEt yourself be happy with your job and treasure every moment you get to catch the bad guy. 
Do you accept the job and move back to the desk you belong at, surrounded by your friends. Once again in a building you call home, letting your guard down for the first time in three years. 
Do you let your guard down and talk to Spencer and watch yourself undo all of the progress you had made. Watch as your resolve crumbles and your heart aches and you can;t even breathe around him because it hurts to see him. 
Do you give up and follow him around like some lost puppy and beg for him to take you back so maybe you’ll be able to melt your waxen heart and be happy again. 
You don’t take the job. You never hear from Erin Strauss again. 
And I love Vermont, but it's the season of the sticks And I saw your mom, she forgot that I existed And it's half my fault, but I just like to play the victim I'll drink alcohol 'til my friends come home for Christmas And I'll dream each night of some version of you That I might not have, but I did not lose Now your tire tracks and one pair of shoes
Sometimes in your sleep, you can see what your wedding would have looked like. The venue, the florals, your outfits and shoes. Your closest friends and family by your side as you commit your soul to be bound to his. 
But every time you get to the I Do’s, Spencer says yes. 
It hurts because you never even made it that far. 
You didn’t even get an engagement ring. 
All you got were pitiful looks and sympathetic glances while Spencer rambled on about how much he didn’t understand marriage or want children–not that you did, but you would have liked for it to have been a discussion between the two of you. 
You would have liked a lot of things. 
Sometimes, in your dreams, Spencer proposes. 
It never leaves your mind, watching as he publicly declares his love for you. Apparently, that was too much to ask for. 
And I'm split in half, but that'll have to do Have to do
The pain of waiting to be loved feels like you’ve but split down the middle, letting yourself melt apart. The skin, no matter how hard you try, can never be stitched back together, and even if you manage to get some back, it scars over, reminding you for the rest of your life how unloveable you feel. 
Maybe you’ll get lucky and someday you can learn to live with never being truly whole again. 
Since Spencer owns half of you, and you will never be whole without him.
Part 2
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forever-rogue · 1 year
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angst like this last ep where the reader gets hurt and joel is freaking out because it seems serious and he thinks he’s losing you, but he ends up nursing you back to health <3
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AN | Soft Joel! Protective Joel! It’s all here 🥰
Pairing | Joel Miller x Fem!Reader
Warnings | Language, Injury [reader gets injured, mentions of infections]
Word Count | 3k
Masterlist | Joel, Main
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
You knew that he was saying your name, but it sounded so different and off. You felt warm, but not in a good way. In a I shouldn't be sweating in the dead of winter type of way.
You swiped away the sweat on your brow as you clutched at your side. Pain. That's where the pain was. You felt his hands move yours out of the way and saw the frown on his face grow. 
"What happened?" you heard that loud and clear. You shook your head, trying to push his hand away from the wound in your side. It was so sensitive that even the slightest bit of touch seemed to aggravate it. You closed your eyes and tried to curl up within yourself but he wasn't having it, "you're hurt!"
"'m fine," you don't know why you lied; you clearly weren't fine, that much was obvious to both Joel and yourself, "wanna sleep."
"You can't sleep yet - you can't-"
The rest of whatever he said was lost as you did manage to fall asleep or pass out or something. Whatever it was, it was better than the searing pain in your side and the discomfort throughout your limbs.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
There was a creaking in the room - or somewhere - repeating in the same way over and over again. It became like a familiar tune as you slept, mostly out of consciousness. 
You tried opening your eyes multiple times but they just felt so heavy, heavy, heavy. So you opted for sleep, for whatever the lull was that you were currently deep in.
Every once in a while you felt something touch you. Your face, your hand, your side - although it didn't feel quite as bad anymore. But, still, you eventually quite ready to get up. Just a little bit longer…
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
"It's been days," Joel slammed his fist against the table before immediately regretting the sting in his hand, "how much longer am I supposed to wait?"
"She had a pretty nasty infection," Maria put her hand on top of his, attempting to give him a reassuring squeeze. It did nothing for him; his heart was still in his stomach, “it’s going to take her a while to recover. But the antibiotics and rest are working.”
He let out a heavy sigh as he leaned back in his chair and tipped his head towards the ceiling. She was right, god he knew she was right, but he wouldn’t feel better until you were fully conscious and fully healed. 
“I feel so…helpless,” he scrubbed a hand over his tired face, “what am I supposed to do?”
“Get some sleep yourself,” she gave him the ghost of a smile but he couldn’t find it in his heart to return it, “take care of yourself. And just be there for her. She knows you’re there and that’s what matters. Joel, she made it back to you.”
“She made it back here.”
“No, she dragged herself home to you,” Ellie cut in and gave him a firm look, “she could have died, most people would have given up, most people would be dead. Not her, so consider yourself lucky. Now you have to be there for her.”
“Ellie-”
“I never left you,” she reminded him, her eyes darted to where his scar was hidden beneath his shirt, “and you never left me. And now we don’t leave her. She’ll be okay.”
“I know,” and he did. If anyone could make it through this, it would be you. You were strong, smart, skilled, and so damn stubborn. It was one of his favorite things about you. And yet…still. It hard to just be there while you were suffering, “I know.”
“Eat,” Maria insisted softly, “rest. You have to take care of yourself too.”
Ellie gently touched his shoulder before hugging him tightly from behind, “it’ll be okay, Joel. I promise.”
And somehow that was all he needed to hear because he felt the slightest bit better. 
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
A steady sound reached your ears, soft but consistent. You couldn’t quite place it but it was somehow extremely reassuring. You moved slightly, trying to readjust yourself but let out a sharp hiss of pain. Okay, that was not going to happen right now. 
Your arm left like it weighed a thousand pounds, but you managed to lift your hand and touched the area that hurt. The tips of your fingers danced over some sort of cloth…a bandage? It spread along your abdomen and while it hurt, the pain was definitely less than what you had remembered. Well, that was a good sign at the least.
A groan escaped your lips as you tried to pry open your eyes, finding them heavy and stiff with sleep. They felt like sandpaper but eventually you managed to open them and tried to blink away all the bleariness. 
You looked around, so stiff and sore, but recognized the room you were in. His bedroom. A familiar place - that was good. You didn’t really remember much after you stumbled your way back into Jackson. Slowly and hesitantly shifting, you managed to make it on your side and readjusted yourself. 
The source of the sound soon became apparent. Joel Miller. He was sitting, sleeping rather, in a stiff and uncomfortable looking chair at your bedside, his head slumped to the side. That was going to be painful later. 
“Joel,” your voice was scratchy and your throat felt dryer than the desert. You reached out a weak, shaky hand and set it on his thigh. You attempted to give him a gentle shake in order to get him to wake up. Maybe it was selfish and you should have let him sleep but you also really, really just wanted to see him. Plus, you wanted to prevent a crick in his neck while you were at it. Two birds, one stone. He didn’t move at first…the poor thing must have been exhausted. You doubted he’d been sleeping since you were back, “Joel.”
But still, he didn’t stir and you decided not to push him. You felt pretty weak as well so you just closed your eyes and decided to get some more rest too. It wasn’t like you were at liberty to be going much right now. What you did do, however, was take his hand and lace your fingers through his, refusing to be completely separated from him. 
You needed him just as much as he needed you.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Joel knew he was going to have a sore neck even before he opened his eyes. He would have been better off sleeping on the floor but he'd fallen asleep on the chair. Typical.
But wait - something was different. His eyes snapped open and he looked down at his hand and saw that it was tangled up with yours. He didn't remember holding your hand…he knew he hadn't been. That meant -
"Baby," you were sleeping again, mouth open as you snorted softly. But you were facing him, much closer, and you'd reached for him. There was a prickling at the back of his eyes and a breath of relief escaped his lips. He wanted to wake you up but he didn't have it in his heart to. You needed rest and he was going to let you have it, "such a stubborn thing, aren't you?"
You didn't respond but he was almost positive that he felt you squeeze his hand.
The next time you woke up you felt warm, but this time it was a pleasant sensation. You cracked an eye open and saw light streaming in through the window, the soft tittering of birds outside. 
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
You tried to sit up, slowly, but it still wasn't an easy feat. You groaned the entire time but eventually you made it. 
Reaching up, you rubbed the sleep from your eyes and pushed some of your messy hair out of your face. The blanket you were in was soft, and you remembered that you were in Joel's room. You were in his bed!
You heard footsteps coming from down the hall and grew nervous for whatever reason when the door opened. Joel stepped into the room and his eyes immediately went to your figure, as they had become accustomed to. 
Only this time, you weren't sleeping. You were awake and looking at him with bleary eyes and a soft smile.
"Hi," your voice sounded so small and unsure that it made him want to cry. He came to your side, and despite the fact that he wanted to pull you into a tight hug, he dropped to his knees at your side and reached for your hand.
"Hi," his voice was thick with emotion, shaky and unsure as his eyes grew glossy, "you're awake."
"I'm awake," you confirmed almost as if you wanted to make sure he knew he wasn't dreaming, "you've been here. I-I woke up earlier, the other day, I don't know what day or time it honestly, and you were sitting there. In that chair."
“I was,” he nodded, a soft smile gracing his features, “I thought you’d woken up.”
“I tried to wake you up,” you leaned back against the headboard, “did you end up with a crick in your neck?”
“Of course,” he rubbed at his neck absentmindedly, “I, ugh…I’m glad you’re alright. I don’t know what…”
“Yeah,” you didn’t need him to say it - you knew exactly what he was trying to say, “thank you.”
“For what?” there was a small hint of blush that crept into his cheeks.
“For taking care of me,” you reached for his hand and happily took it into yours, “I don’t remember much, but I do remember you being there. So, don’t be bashful, I know it was you.”
“It wasn’t all me,” but he also hadn’t left your side in days, barely more than an hour or so at a time, and even those times were few and far in between, “Maria helped a lot, and Ellie.”
“I know,” after a moment of hesitation, you reached up and stroked his cheek, and the man practically preened into your touch, “but still. You’re a stubborn man. Can I ask you something?”
“Anything,” he took your hand and pressed a kiss to your knuckles, which caused your entire face to flush with warmth. 
“What happened?” your voice almost dropped to a whisper as though you weren’t quite sure you wanted to know, “to me? I-I don’t remember a lot.”
And then he laughed; that sweet, deep sound that you loved so much. It wasn’t that he was laughing at you or all that you had just been through, it was just…the situation. The fact that you’d been so unwell, almost on death’s doorstep, and here you were, sweet as ever, “oh sweetheart…you went through a lot.”
“I remember getting back but that’s about it,” you admitted sheepishly, “I do remember pain…how long has it been?”
“You came back about a week ago,” your mouth opened in surprise - there was no way. It couldn’t have been more than two or three days. He nodded, answering your silent question, “yeah, it was bad.”
“I-I got back and…I was hurt.”
“You came back, barely on your feet,” his gaze shifted to the clean bandage still spreading across your abdomen, “you looked…terrible.”
“What a lovely thing to hear,” you teased, knowing that he was joking.
“I just meant…the wounds. Not a-anything else, but you look…”
“Like shit,” you cut him off. You felt grimy and sweaty and gross; you were positive you were stinking and your hair was a disaster. You doubted you looked any better than you felt, “I’m sure. You don’t have to lie to me, Joel.”
“You’re beautiful,” it was the first time he had said it out loud, but it was something that had always been on his mind, “but yeah…right now you do look like you could use a bath.”
“I love an honest man,” you grinned, “you saved me.”
“I-I didn’t…no,” bashful, shy, and adorable. Although he’d never admit he was adorable.
“You did,” you insisted, pointing at your covered wound, “I imagine whatever this was, it wasn’t good.”
“No,” his brow furrowed and he shook his head lightly, “it wasn’t. There was a deep wound, and had gotten infected. The infection was starting to spread and…yeah. You came back just in time. I don’t know how you made it back but…fuck, I’m glad you did.”
“Me too,” shy smiles were exchanged, “I vaguely remember getting hurt and knowing I had to get back. And I just came back, I knew I had to get back. I wanted to get home to you.”
“Yeah?” his voice shook but you nodded, trying to be strong, “I shouldn’t have let you go. Especially not alone. I should have been there, I could have…done something.”
“Don’t think of it like that,” you put a finger to his lips to cut him off before he could continue to ramble, “thinking of all the could haves and would haves only works to drive us crazy. It doesn’t matter what happened, not anymore. What matters is that I’m here now.”
“But-”
“But nothing,” he couldn’t help the small smile that turned up the corners of his mouth at your sharpness, “I’m here and I’m okay. We’re okay. Wait…I’m okay, right? I guess I should have asked that first and not just assumed.”
“You’re going to be okay,” he promised, thanking every lucky star and divine being or whatever existed in the universe, “most of the wounds on your arms and face are superficial; I think you probably got them when you were coming back through the woods. The main one was…rough. Do you remember what happened at all?”
“My weakness,” you joked softly, “small knives.”
“That was no small knife,” he shook his head as you shrugged.
“No,” you reluctantly agreed, “it wasn’t. But me telling you what it was isn’t going to change anything so…no need to worry.”
“I’m going to worry anyway.”
“You shouldn’t worry.”
“I’m going to worry about the people I love.”
“Oh,” oh. Joel had, once again, spoken before he truly thought about what he was going to say. It wasn’t that he didn’t mean it….he just hadn’t meant to tell you like this. He wasn’t sure exactly what his plan had been, but that was neither here nor there at this point, “oh?”
“Listen, I didn’t mean to make this-”
“I love you, Joel,” you met his eye, refusing to look away so he knew that you had meant what you said, “really.”
“Oh,” this time it was his turn to be surprised. You nodded; his relief was visibly when you saw how his shoulders relaxed, “I didn’t exactly plan this.”
“Me neither,” you gestured to yourself, “any of this.”
“It’s not going to hurt for a while,” he swallowed thickly as you exhaled slowly. You figured as much; if you’d been out for almost a week you knew that it wasn’t going to go immediately go away, “I…I would like it if you stayed here. So I could help you.”
“You mean keep an eye on me so I don’t go and cause more trouble?” you teased, “I’d like that, Joel. As long as you and Ellie are okay with it. But I can take the couch so you can have your bed-”
“Absolutely not,” as if. He’d rather cut off his own leg than to let you sleep on the damned couch, “you’ll stay here, in this bed.”
“This is the first time I’ve heard that in this sort of situation,” you snorted in amusement, “but thank you, Joel. Really.”
“It’s nothing,” it was everything, “I’ll change the sheets and you can have a shower - bath maybe, that might be better. Or maybe shower?”
“I can try a shower and if it doesn’t work, we’ll figure it out,” you felt so warm and fuzzy at the idea of him taking care of you, “maybe I’ll make you give me a sponge bath!”
“I would do it.” Of course he would. He’d do anything for you.
“I know,” you leaned over, slowly and gingerly, and pressed the most delicate of kisses to his cheek, “I know.”
“I’m going to assume you’re hungry?” you perked up at the sound of food. When was the last time you had a meal? You couldn’t remember…and your stomach grumbled loudly, “I’ll take that as a yes.”
“Yes, please,” you grinned, “what’s on the menu?”
“Fresh baked bread and soup,” your mouth almost watered in excitement, “the kid’s been on a cooking phase, so whether or not it’s good will have to be seen.”
“I’m so hungry, I could honestly eat anything,” you really could, “but thank you. Seriously…I hope that you know how much very much I…appreciate you. How very much I…I love you.”
“It’s not work, it’s not a bother,” he insisted, “not when it’s you. I…”
“You don’t have to say it,” you knew that it wasn’t always for him to be open with feelings and words. But he always showed his love in so many other ways, “if you don’t want to or…yeah.”
“I love you,” he’d stood up but he leaned down and kissed the crown of your head, not caring in the slightest about any mess, “I’m not perfect, far from it, but I’m working on it.”
“You think I’m perfect?” he really liked your laugh, “far from it. I’m working on it too. We can work on it together.”
“Yes,” and you really liked his smile, “together.”
“Together.”
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ellebakers · 7 months
Text
I am not an object | Part one.
Part Two
• Daemon Targaryen x Reader
Summary : Daemon broke your heart more than once, will you forgive him when he tries to get you back ?
Warning(s) : Daemon is a dick, angst, fight, jealousy, language, mention of Harwin.
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You couldn't believe it.
He had come back. Prince Daemon was back at the castle, you didn't know if your heart could survive another heartache. When Alicent told you this news you had to sit down to avoid falling backwards.
Concerned, the queen sat down at your side. "Y/n, are you okay ?" Your throat tightened and you nodded reassuringly, unable to speak.
If twenty years ago you had been told that Alicent would become your rock here, you would not have believed it.
Indeed, during your childhood, you were not the best friends in the world. The only thing you had in common was being Rhaenyra's Maids and friends.
It was while becoming friends with the princess that you met Daemon.
The first time you had seen him was during a meal given in honor of the future son of the king, he had not even cast a single glance in your direction, but who cares, you were fifteen years and for the first time you had felt new feelings towards the prince.
Your first broken heart was when you learned from Rhaenyra that he was going to marry a whore.
This woman didn't love him, how could he marry her ?
Then this (love) story didn't work, so he came back to his family, and it was from that moment that things changed between you since the evening of his return, after a few drinks, he insisted on sharing with you, he ended up taking your virginity, and these activities became commonplace since every time he wanted to relax, he came to see you, fucked you and left.
Then there was Laena, and he stopped coming to see you, he wasn't even looking at you anymore, he just left.
Years passed, and as you recovered from the behing hole Daemon had left in your heart, it was Rhaenyra who stabbed you. She stopped talking to you, leaving you alone, at least until Alicent insisted on hiring you as a companion, but over time you became like sisters.
As you gradually regained control of your life and your emotions, Laena died. And the same routine returned. Daemon came back, he cried on your shoulder, making you feel guilty, he fucked you again until he found interest in Rhaenyra and dumped you again, leaving Alicent to manage with a broken friend.
Some time passed and you managed to rebuild yourself, until Rhaenyra returned to live in the castle with her sons and... Daemon.
That's why you find yourself sitting around the table where the Targaryen family and Hightower were, the tension was palpable but for the good of the king, the two parties said nothing.
You kept a neutral face as Alicent tried to talk you out of your mind, but you felt Daemon's piercing gaze on you, there was no way you were giving him satisfaction and looking at him.
Alicent had to leave to take care of the king, leaving the place next to you empty, and Daemon wasted no time in coming to occupy it.
"Lady Y/n."
His voice was low and smooth, he used to use that voice when he wanted to end up between your thighs.
You took a big sip of wine to give yourself courage and without looking him in the eye you greeted him.
"Prince Daemon, it's good to see you again. I'm sorry but I'm not feeling very well, it's better that I go back to my room. Please excuse me."
You got up and all eyes were on you, something you hated, you sneaked in politely smiling at the guests, once out of the room you let out a breath of relief and went towards your room .
As you walked through the darkness, footsteps were heard behind you, as you were afraid it was Daemon, you were relieved to hear the voice of your protector, Ser Harwin Strong.
"Lady Y/n, are you feeling okay ?"
You smiled sincerely at him and sighed. "I'm just a little tired Ser Harwin."
The knight looked around and once assured that there was no one, he approached you slightly. "Tell me the truth my lady please."
You took a deep breath. "I am scared." You admitted, your lip trembling.
Harwin grabbed your face in his hands and with the back of his thumb he wiped away the tears that were falling.
“Tell me what you’re afraid of.”
"I know I won't be able to resist him, and I'm afraid he'll rip my heart out again."
Harwin Strong was, along with Alicent, the only person who knew about you and Daemon. He was assigned to you as a protector by the queen when she married the king, so he saw the damage the prince had done to you.
One thing you didn't know was that he dreamed of smashing Daemon's face against a wall every time he saw you crying because of him.
"Listen to me Lady Y/n, you are the fiercest woman I know besides being the kindest, smartest, sweetest and most beautiful. And cut out my tongue for what I'm about to say, Prince Daemon only thinks with his dick, he doesn't deserve you to look at him, you are so much better than him, don't let him have a hold on you."
His words made you blush, but they also gave you the strength needed to face Daemon, and the next day when the prince requested an audience with you, you accepted, along with Ser Harwin of course.
Daemon was surprised that you didn't ask your protector to leave, and even though it bothered him, he swallowed his anger and invited you to sit at the table in the garden.
"Lady Y/n, I am delighted that you have accepted my invitation. It is truly a pleasure to be in your company. I would like that said, to discuss a private matter with you, you might ask Ser Harwin to leave so that-"
"No."
Daemon was surprised by your tone.
"Excuse me ?"
"I won't ask Ser Harwin to leave, if you have anything you want to talk to me about you can do it in front of him."
The prince blinked, looking between you and Harwin. "I don't think he wants to hear what I have to say."
You repositioned yourself on the chair to have an upright and sure posture, then you crossed your arms on your chest.
"I believe I know what you wish to speak to me about my prince and I can assure you that Ser Harwin is aware of what is bothering you."
Having had enough of beating around the bush, Daemon leaned on the stone table. "Fine. Why are you avoiding me ?"
You couldn't help laughing. Asshole.
"Are you serious ?"
He was looking at you like "In your opinion ?"
You looked at Harwin for a moment, and his encouraging words from yesterday began to echo in your head, suddenly a rush of adrelanin invaded you, you turned your attention back to the prince and you took a deep breath before speaking as calmly as possible.
"I am not avoiding you my prince, I am only staying in my place. I am not one of your servants or even your whore." Harwin pursed his lip to keep from smiling with pride. Daemon, in the other hand, was speechless.
"All these years you have only used me when you needed it and then threw me away like you throw leftovers at dogs. And once again you come back to me, why ? Either because the princess does not satisfy you, or out of pride, for years I was stupid enough to believe in you and imagine things, but that time is over."
You got up slowly and slightly put your dress back in place before adding. "Contrary to what you think my prince, I am not an object. Now please excuse me but this meeting is over."
As you turned your back on Daemon, he called out to you. “You seem to forget something.”
You turned to face him. "What ?"
He was still sitting, he had something evil in his eyes. “I always get what I want.”
Even though he scared you, you decided not to show him. "Not this time my prince.
As you walked back, Daemon and Harwin looked at each other.
The prince was clearly mad and had a look of
We'll see.
As for Ser Harwin, he had an expression of pride.
That’s my girl.
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unclewaynemunson · 7 months
Text
He's standing in the dark, in the rain, invisible to anyone who might pass by. He feels like a shadow – and maybe he actually is. He wishes he could light a cigarette, or maybe a blunt, but the light, however small, would betray his presence right away. Not to mention that the rain would extinguish any attempt at fire immediately anyway.
He shouldn't be here. But it's not like it was a conscious decision to go. His feet merely carried him this way while his mind was still blacked out from what Wayne had just told him.
'Eddie,' his uncle had said in an almost solemn voice, 'If you're gonna be stayin' here in Hawkins with me, there's somethin' you need to know.'
That's how he found out about the secret that his uncle had kept from him for all fifteen years of his existence. Wayne had explained to him how he once made his brother – Eddie's father – a promise, and how he kept that promise even though he personally thought Eddie deserved to know the truth.
But now Clyde Munson isn't here anymore. Wayne has been looking after Eddie with all the love and devotion he has in him – and he decided that it was no longer Clyde's decision to make. It certainly wasn't the decision of the woman who once dropped Eddie on Clyde's doorstep in a desperate attempt to rid herself of the proof of what they had done nine months prior. No, Eddie was Wayne's child now, as far as Wayne was concerned. And that made it Wayne's decision. So Wayne could finally do what he had always thought to be the right thing.
Eddie can almost touch the life that could've been his. A window is the only separation between him and the life he isn't part of: a cozily lit room in a nice house in a quiet street. School books are scattered haphazardly across a kitchen table, accompanied by two steaming mugs and a plate of homemade cookies. And, of course, a mother and a child are sitting side-by-side at said kitchen table.
Eddie can see the mother's mouth form soundless words while she talks her daughter through whatever homework she needs help with. A boy comes in, takes two cookies and leaves, with the mother raising her head to tell him something just a moment before he closes the door behind him. The girl drops her head on her mother's shoulder as they continue.
Contrary to Clyde Munson and his baby, Eddie's mother never left Hawkins. Clyde kept her secret and Eddie has never known who she was. Now, thanks to Wayne, all he knows is that Karen Vasileiou became Karen Wheeler one year after she gave birth to Eddie. Another year later, a little girl was born. A girl who got the kind of life that was never meant to have room for anything messy, let alone a boy like Eddie Munson.
From the other side of the window, it's clear that the girl grew up to be nothing like Eddie, save for their matching big eyes. She has a mother, after all: a mother who helps her with her homework and bakes her cookies and gives her the comfort of a shoulder to rest her head on.
He knows it's not good for him to keep standing there, but he simply cannot stop watching. It takes until Karen sends her daughter to bed for Eddie to awaken from his trance. The rain has died down to a drizzle; he's soaked to his bones and shivering all over. And even though Wayne gives Eddie everything he possibly can, it still stings a tiny little bit that no warm house and homemade cookies will be waiting for him when he'll get home.
Update: this premise was not letting me go so you can now expect multiple follow-up parts. Read part 2 here or head to ao3 where I started cross-posting this as a multi chaptered fic :D
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kiri-tatsu · 9 months
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From something to nothing
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Weeks had passed since he last seen you, and he just can't take it anymore. You're his love, his darling, his; he wants you back already.
well i can't be predicable and just say everyone gets a bad/good ending, so it's going to be mixed
@swivy123 did part 2 and tagged u like u asked <3
pt. 1
cw/tw- angst (ofc), hurt/comfort, hurt no comfort, reader dies in one of them (lmao srry babes), gn! reader
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Alhaitham
To love was simply a confusing emotion to Alhaitham. He never felt the need to be in a relationship or to see the reason to ever form one. But you, came into his life and made his see what it was like to loved and cared for. He didn't have the luxury of such after his grandmother passed away, and he never knew the feeling of such an emotion as it slipped through his fingers.
And the day he blew up on you, you wouldn't come around until he, himself, went out of his way to apologize. You didn't like confrontation, you didn't like be upfront with your emotions, and he knew you, maybe even better than you did.
So why? Why was it the first time he's seen you in weeks, his heart his heavy with guilt as you were wrapped in the arms of his blond roommate?
The two of you were in Lambad's Tavern, he thought he was just here to pick up his roommate again. But instead you were here also and you looked as bad as Kaveh, well in the sense of you two being drunk.
Your eyes were a bit puffy, and you had small tears rolling down your cheeks as Kaveh had you in his arms.
And when he made his way over to you, you looked up and began to cry even more. His lips in a frown as he pulled you up and into his arms.
Your hands formed fists as they began to pound against his chest, but his arms still held you as you threw your little tantrum. One arm wrapped around your waist, the other soothingly running through your hair.
Kaveh watched with a little smile of relief on his face, as he swirled his glass of wine before taking a sip. Well, at least the two of you looked as if you'd be okay.
At least Kaveh didn't have to hear you talk about how much you missed Alhaitham anymore or see how brooding his roommate could actually be.
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Diluc
Once again, he had come home from being the Darknight Hero again, and he just couldn't take it anymore not seeing his lovely partner in bed waiting for him.
Swallowing up his pride, the next day he entered through the tall gates of Mondstadt and made his way over to Cat's Tail ignoring how Diona was by the door and looked as if she wanted to scratch his eyes out.
Entering the establishment, he straightened his clothes as he looked to see a surprised Margret behind the counter with Prince. "Master Diluc, what brings you here? TCG I'm assuming?"
Yelling could be heard as a little crowd was forming around a table and his eyes glanced over, and for some reason he thought he seen some hair that looked familiar.
Cheering was heard all around as he heard a loud 'yes!' being shouted by what he could assume was the winner as everyone parted leaving him speechless.
"Them... I'm here for them," he mumbled as he felt his legs move on his own making long strides over towards you. You were surprised to hear the breathlessness call of your name as you turned and was quickly pulled into his embrace as a kiss was placed on your lips.
Surprised you pulled away as his gloved hands cupped your cheeks, "I'm sorry [Name], i love you so much." His crimson eyes stared down into your that were skeptical of him
The whispers around you made you turn to the crowd that were were watching wide eyed and murmuring. "God damn it Diluc..."
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Kaeya
You and Kaeya were different; like night and day, the sun and the moon, snow and shine. You were bubbly, loving, and were too nice for your own good; he was flirty, sly, and had was around everything.
After you little 'fight' you left your shared home, and returned the next morning after going to Lisa's home and crying to her about what had Kaeya said and did.
Opening the door with your key, you entered your home to see Kaeya asleep on the couch, where he was actually asleep or just faking it you didn't want to stick around to find out.
As quietly as you could, you began to pick up your papers from the floor, Kaeya's words from last night ringing in your ear as you began to fight the tears brimming your eyes.
Little sniffles and hiccups escaped your mouth as you began to gran your papers, looking over at some of the poetry you wrote dedicated to your loving... well, used to be loving boyfriend.
Making a stack of all the papers that were dedicated to the calvary captain you placed them on the table you worked on and picked up the rest that weren't dedicated to him.
"[Name]...?" His head peaked from over the couch as he stood up and walked over to you, only for you to take a few steps back. "What's worng? Why are all your papers on the floor?"
Does he seriously not know? You inhaled sharply, as you went to your shared bedroom, him following behind. "Kaeya... I can't keep doing this. You keep getting drunk and you never remember anything. You seem to lash out on me and I just can't take it anymore!"
His bit his lip as he rubbed the back of his neck and shift his wieght to his other leg, "Come on [Name], I'm sure-" You turned around, and his eye widen at the tears pouring from your eyes.
"No! I don't- I can't," letting out a groan of frustration you wiped your eyes and pushed passed him. "I'll come get my things some other time. Bye Kaeya."
Once again you left him in a cold empty house, and this time, you weren't going to come back to him, in his arms ever again.
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Albedo
Time is such a fleeting thing really, and no one had enough of it. Well, mortals never had enough time, ever.
It started with weeks going by since you last seen Albedo, you felt a bit guilty for how you kicked him out from your home but what he said deeply hurt you. So, with a determined mind and a aching heart you gathered up some supply and got ready for a hike up Dragonspine.
The cold nipped at your nose and cheeks as your boots crunched the snow beneath you with every step you took. No one liked coming to Dragonspine be it commissions, food, or resources. The place was filled with monsters and the Fatui, so it was reasonable.
Hiking up to where Albedo's lab was, it was damn tiering. Pulling your jacket closer to you, there was a loud boom from behind you, which made you turn your head unaware of what was in front of you.
Apparently a Frostarm Lawachurl woke up from it slumber and it locked onto you, before it charges towards you, the loudness made you turn as you were then thrown off the side of the mountain. What a terrible day to forget your wind glider.
And then days passed since you were last heard of, Albedo believed that you were still locked up in your home ignoring him anytime he went by your home.
It wasn't until Aether and Paimon ran up to him a week later, "ALBEDO!" Paimon screamed as the two ran towards him when he was as the alchemy crafting table with Timaeus.
"Traveler, Paimon what-" Paimon was sobbing as she was holding onto Aether as he was trying catch his breath. He held a necklace to the alchemist, who was confused until he looked at the pendent.
Yours, it's yours. His heart dropped as he clutched it into his hand, "[Name]? A-Are they safe?" He looked over to Paimon who was sobbing as she was behind coddles by Aether. "Where are they...?"
"We were in Dragonspine, and there was an avalanche, I fell but I had my wind glider. We looked down to see that there something down by your lab... They were buried underneath the snow... I'm sorry Albedo."
Albedo closed his eyes as he nodded his head as he took your necklace holding it close to his chest. "Thank you... I-I have to go now..."
He never got to apologize to you, now how will he live knowing that his last words to you were hurtful?
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Xiao
The conqueror of demons, the last remaining yaksha, Atalus, and Xiao; he was one by many names, many titles. He didn't necessarily dislike humans, mortals, he just didn't want to get attached only for their life to end abruptly.
His karma debt already affects the monsters around him, and he doesn't need it to affect someone he cares deeply for. So, when push comes to shove, in order to protect the people of Liyue, he is willing to strain his own relationship in order to protect the mortals, even if his love is also a mortal.
I would rather sacrifice you in order to keep the people of Liyue safe, how could anyone you love ever say that to you face? He didn't even look at you when he said those words either, that's what probably made it hurt even more.
Days, weeks, months, and Xiao hasn't heard from you, nor has he seen yo, he would be lying if he said he wasn't worried for you. At night he could barely hear the small whispers of his name from you and he would be by your side in a second.
But when he arrives, you're asleep with your face contorted into one of pain as you toss and turn in bed. With a heavy heart, he sits on the edge of the bed, and leans down pressing a kiss agaisnt your forehead.
This is the last time, I will let you go so you can be with another mortal who pays attention to you. I love you [Name], and before you wake up from your nightmare, he's gone in a wisp of teal and black.
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if anyone wants to be tagged in up coming works of mine just ask <3
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hahaimnotdeadyet · 7 months
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Birthdays [Astarion X Fem!Reader angst]
Warnings and tags: English is not my native! Astarion and Reader has a kid. The reader is not immortal or long-living, human or tiefling like life. Mention of death and a bit of suicide thoughts. I swear I'll write something fluff and domestic but just not now
Astarion knows exactly when it happens. It's his 302th birthday. He learned how to cherish his birthdays soon enough after you two moved together, so he count. Counts each year. And at the beginning of his fourth century you do this. As a red cat, a friend of a lost girl, once said, you left to live your last life. Astarion doesn't know why, he lies to himself.
He started to suspect something a long time ago, but never really understood the deal. He hasn't seen a problem that more and more silver threads appear in your hair each year. Never thought that the web of wrinkles at the corners of your eyes made you ugly.
But you left. As if not to let him remember your last weak moments with you. Not to let him see something he was too terrified to say out loud. You only once told you'd never run away from it and he never talked about it again. Didn't dare.
An infantile thought, but for some reason he hoped that you would still have time. Time to discuss, prevent. Time to turn everything back.
It's a big mystery why the unknown customer insisted on the burial here - next to the grave of an elf. Like it mattered. As if those who died a quarter of a century apart could have at least something in common. The second line of numbers on the neighboring grave makes no questions, the locals are sure that this is nothing more than someone's stupid joke.
He's both relieved that he didn't see you give up your last breath. But at the same time, he regrets that he could not be with you in the last moments.
There are two empty graves nearby, two hundred and sixty years apart.
The third one has a body.
Astarion gave up counting his years again, so he doesn't really know how many years have passed. Three or four decades before his four hundredth birthday.
His daughter, with trembling hands, withered skin and white blind eyes. And him, haven't aged even for a day, holding her hand. He's with her at her last moments, but that doesn't make anything better. He breaks down shortly after she stills.
There are three graves, and only one is the proper one, but Astarion feels as if he's buried too. It would've been better this way, to stay with his family, where he belongs.
So he doesn't count his birthdays anymore and stays a little bit longer till each dawn. And one day he just doesn't leave at all.
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tcfactory · 1 month
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Brainrot of the day is all about people mourning the OG Shen Qingqiu, it just happens somewhere where Shen Yuan can't see because he doesn't frequent the places where Shen Jiu used to withdraw when he got anxious or wanted to paint/play music/meditate in peace.
It all starts with Shang Qinghua setting up a kinda memorial - just a pile of rocks, really - but vibes and grief make it so that each time someone discovers it and remembers Shen Jiu they add to it. Someone carves a proper stone for the memorial - no name on it, obviously. Not a fan either, because the new Shen Qingqiu uses fans too. Bamboo stalks, a painter's easel and a pipa - he never played it in PIDW, so Shen Yuan has no idea that it was Shen Jiu's favorite instrument. The guqin is what they teach to the disciples when they are first learning music, so he sort of just assumed that's the one instrument Shen Jiu played.
Ning Yingying, Ming Fan, Mu Qingfang, Yue Qingyuan, Shang Qinghua... even Qi Qingqi starts missing him when his spy network starts falling apart without him. The list of people visiting grows until it becomes a whole thing to seek the memorial out when they miss the old Shen Qingqiu. To offer him a song or a snack or burn incense on his (chosen) birthday...
Cultivators are good at many things, processing grief is not one of them. If it was left to them they would still mourn him a century later as if he died yesterday.
Of course it's Shang Qinghua's fault when something changes. He's visiting the memorial after a very draining argument with Shen Yuan about how much Shen bro is neglecting his peak (he might as well not be a peak lord anymore because he wants to spend all his time with Binghe) when Mobei picks him up one day and takes note of the memorial. And the next time Mobei finds some miraculous rebirth plant (they've been keeping an eye out for something that can bring back Zhuzhi-lang and fix Tianlang-jun) he buries the spares there.
It should be nothing, without a body or even a soul to latch onto. Shen Jiu's presence is mostly gone from the world - except from this one place, where everyone hoards their grief in secret, sharing memories where they can't offend the new Shen Qingqiu.
It's not enough to call a drifting, shattered soul back to life.
Not until Tianlang-jun. He is on his way off the mountain after delivering a thank-you couched in the most infuriating wrapping he could muster to master Shen for his help in identifying what miracle cures were needed to fix him and his nephew up. He sought him out on Qing Jing because at least here his son can't pick a fight without consequences. Still, he's taking the scenic route as a form of spite, so that he can linger as long as possible without giving them an excuse to kick him off the mountain.
The clearing is thick with the presence of someone, a soul that is very much not the peak lord his son is so infatuated with. It's somehow familiar, in the way of people you used to regularly pass on the street remain, even after you no longer live on that street. It takes him a while to remember.
Su Xiyan didn't have 'friends'. Even her 'not-friends' (very much friends in truth, his beloved was just strange about her potential attachments to others) numbered so few he could count them on one hand. Only one of them liked music and arts enough that she introduced them to each other when they met by chance at a recital. They have only met once or twice, but Tianlang-jun carved his memory into his heart, as he did with everything to do with Su Xiyan.
What a curious thing for another Shen to linger so prominently on this peak.
Perhaps it's nostalgia that guides his hand to spill just a few drops of his blood on the dirt. It's not a proper path back, but it's a handhold, if Su Xiyan's last lingering friend wishes to claw his way back to life. Perhaps it's spite, because among all the people that frequent this place and leave their grief dripping over the rocks and grass, he can feel neither master Shen nor Luo Binghe.
Tianlang-jun isn't around for the fallout when Shen Jiu makes his triumphant return, but that's fine. It sounds like it was an unnecessarily explosive affair (Maybe it wasn't his smartest move to add heavenly demon blood to the divine miracle lotus root, but in his defense he had no idea that was there. He assumed, from the general vibe of the clearing, that it was just a plain old grave with a soul that clings through guilt or regret or resentment or, because humans are fascinating and complicated, all of the above). Rumors are always better than reality anyway (especially the ones filtered through Liu Mingyan and the book club) and this one is juicy enough to keep the cultivators gossiping for the next century.
He'll swing around when things have calmed down again, eventually. He wants to meet the new heavenly demon of Qing Jing Peak.
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do you have any shion headcanons? he is so noisy and funny at the same time lol
Ok I've got a bunch for you guys!!! Here they are
Has a black dragons tattoo somewhere
Didn't get his scar from a fight but from him having a clumsy accident (he tells everyone it was a fight)
Actually heard about and looked up to the black dragons, when he met Wakasa, Takeomi and Benkei he thought they were going to happy to meet him too.
Dropped out of school, he didn't see any point in attending anymore.
Loves head pats
Sometimes gets a little jealous of Kakucho when he sees how close he is to Izana.
Never did find out the truth about Rindou playing around with him, still thinks he's very respectful towards him.
Doesn't like licking blood but likes the reactions from people when he does it.
Loves his mad dog nickname, brings it up often.
Visits Izana's grave often after he died. 
Refuses to admit he has stomach issues, instead he insists he has an iron stomach.
Plays with the kids he works with A lot in the good timeline, will get on the floor to play horsey happily and even dresses up with the girls for tea parties.
Couldn't read the room when it came to South, he thought they were good friends.
If he loses a competition like arm wrestling then he'll say he went easy on them
Became good friends with Yamagishi in the good timeline. Yamagishi was excited to meet the 9th gen black dragons captain and Shion was excited to meet a "fan".
Was very unsure about joining kmg because of his history with Mikey but wanted to stay with the other S62 members
Is a very good driver, he spent a lot of time practising.
He uses a knuckle duster because as a kid he was beaten up with one by a gang member, he then learnt to use them too in order to take revenge. Him beating that gang member and taking his knuckle dusters is what first got him known in the delinquent world.
Wants an actual dog (in the good timeline he does end up taking in a street dog. She's very small and fluffy and Shion babies her. She's nothing like a "mad dog")
Badly wants a romantic partner, loves the idea of dating someone and someone loving him with him loving them back.
Is the friend in the group chat to be constantly left on read
Got into a drinking contest with Rindou once, he ended up passing out.
Both his black dragons uniforms are hung up in his bedroom on display.
Likes watching movies a lot, when he does start dating someone he takes them on lots of movie dates.
Would also take his partner to festivals and spend ages playing the games to try and win them a plushie. He's not very good but he is persistant.
His phone wallpaper is a group picture of tenjiku 
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Your mama’s crying
Pairing: Emily Prentiss x daughter reader
Warning: death, angst, Ian Doyle, depression, Ian calling reader by her “name”
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It had been seven months…
Seven months since your mother had passed, your best friend had died at the hands of your father Ian Doyle. Seven months of losing yourself and recreating a new version of who you once were, everything had changed once she left, even me.
I couldn't bare looking into the mirror to stare at the dark eyes, raven hair that I mourned the loss of so I dyed it. Pink. Purple. Blue. Green. Red. Before settling on a beautiful Blonde that she would've loved. I swapped my glasses for coloured contacts, it hurt to see the ghost of my mother in myself.
Seven months and yet it felt like seven years..
The first day had begun a month after mum had passed, I was curled in her bed my face smothered in her blankets that were slowly loosing her scent. Morgan had burst into the room throwing my gym clothes at me telling me to get ready, we ran ten kilometres that day only stopping at the lookout on the hill to yell out our frustrations at the world.
It became a routine of sorts and sometimes Penelope would join us although she couldn’t keep up with us as often. It was okay. We would be okay, Sergio clung to me more as the months grew almost as if he just knew.
I sat with Derek on the roof, his arm wrapped securely around my shoulders as we spoke "I miss her" I whispered curling myself into him more. "Me too, miniP' he kissed my head before resting his cheek on it"me too he repeated sadly "she'd be proud of you, you know that right?" | nodded biting my lip.
I hope she would be
Although I wanted revenge
I had graduated university top of my class with the team cheering me on in the crowd, how was I to see those two guilty faces. It hurt my mother not being in the front row like she was meant to but I imagined she had been.
My father loved me in a strange way
The team thought it best to use me as the bait to catch him, I called him to a cafe just a quiet one that I had visited him before at. Staring at him I felt nothing, his face was blank “whats the softest way to say you took away my friend, my buddy?. Whats the kindest way to say you took away my friend?”.
“You wouldn’t understand Alora” he whispered “so help me understand father” hopefully the team should walk in any moment. “It was simply fate my dear, we have a past” fate? Fate took my mother? My heart had shattering once more.
I wanted to scream and cry, throw anything available at him but I was just so numb and maybe he knew that as he leaned over. Placing a gentle kiss on my forehead before the team burst in “Je t'aime Y/n” he whispered I love you Y/n “Adieu père” I whispered. Goodbye father
How dare he simply call it fate
“Elle m'a enlevé ma fille”
She took my daughter away
I was bound to him, mum was bound to him
I was his daughter
It was all a blur as he was arrested, I had become numb but I knew I hated France it would never be the same I’m not sure Virginia could be the same anymore.
I never went home that day, finding myself at Penelope’s front doorstep tears streaming down my face. Her arms had become home I wondered if my mother would be disappointed in me- of who I had become.
“Oh my sweetheart”
I wished I could’ve told her sooner about my adoration for women of my harboured feelings for an older blonde that I had no chance with. I had an internship with the bau while I found a job that I actually wanted, I had plans just as my mother once had.
We had been called into the conference room, I stood near the back “everyone take a seat” Hotch sighed as JJ stood beside him. "7 months ago I made a decision that affected this Team." he said, and I knew immediatly that this was about mum.
"As you know, Emily had lost a lot of blood after her fight with Doyle. The doctors were able to stabilize her and she was airlifted from Boston to Bethesda under a covert exfilitration. Her identity was strictly need-to-know." he said and I felt sick to my stomach.
"She stayed there until she was well enough to travel, she was reassigned to Paris where she was given several different identities which we had no access to for her security." He goes on.
"She's alive?" Penelope asked.
"But we buried her..." Reid says hurt.
I had buried my mother
I had buried my mother
Yet she had walked into the room with a smile on her face as if these seven months had never existed, I had buried my mother for nothing. These seven months had been a lie, all the words JJ and Aaron said had been lies all those tender hugs and kisses were full of guilt.
I couldn’t help but leave quickly as mum made her way around the team giving out hugs unaware she had watched me go. I couldn’t be there, I couldn’t be in that room not with everyone so happy to have her back, I grieved my mother.
I mourned someone who wasn’t dead
Maybe it was selfish of me but I left the team that day, finally moved my things out of my mothers apartment now that she was back. I ignored her calls so angry she could do such a thing the same went with Aaron and JJ, how could they? my mother?.
The team had called me often saying how my mother had been crying, her sobs begging for me and maybe in some sick way she knew just how I had felt.
I laid with my head in Penelopes lap as I sobbed, her soothing hands running through my hair “I know it’s hard right now Y/n but maybe it would be a good thing if you started talking to her again”.
“I’m just so scared Pen”
“And thats okay baby cakes”
It wouldn’t be another two weeks before I worked up the courage to talk to her, Rossi was hosting a part while I had arrived with the blonde. Mum made her way beside me “I’m proud of you Y/n” she slowly placed a hand on my shoulder.
She took a deep breath in tears already staining her waterline “and I’m sorry, if I could’ve taken you with me I would’ve but Aaron had said no. I asked them everyday about you and I’m sorry I couldn’t be here I’m sorry, I put my little girl through all this pain”
She moved her hands to cup my face “my baby girl, and when you graduated Uni. I made sure Aaron got me a clip of you. I never once stopped thinking about you, Mon cher I love you”
“And I am so so proud of you” the warmth of her lips pressed against my forehead cemented she was real “I’m sorry mama�� I cried. “I was just so angry, I didn’t mean to make you cry” she pulled me into her chest rocking us gently side by side.
After a while she chuckle causing me to look up confused “you and Garcia?” She smirked with a raised brow
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Almost Sacrifice
Neteyam x human!Reader
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an: hello second fic ! the ending is kinda rushed I literally didn’t know what to do rjdjsj
summary: “Can I request some Neteyam x human! reader? Neteyam lived and (y/n) nearly died in the process. When she soon wakes up Neteyam becomes so protective of her?”
warnings: none. maybe angst ? fluffy fluff
word count: 1177
——————
Stupid.
The only word running through Neteyam’s head. How stupid he thought you were. Stupid for risking your life; stupid for taking the bullet aimed for him. And he planned to tell you that. He would not let you off easy; of course, he never did. You had a habit of getting yourself injured; anywhere from small scratches to large gashes, but they were all the same In Neteyam’s eyes. Each enough to make him worried and upset and ensued a scolding, but no matter what he was feeling, he still always tended to your wounds, sneaking salve from his grandmother’s hut and making sure you continued to apply it even after he had left. Except this time, he was not the one caring for you. He wasn’t even allowed to see you until the healers believed you stable. Kiri would give him updates, assuring him you were healing fine, but it did nothing to ease him, not when his last image of you was bloody and gasping, slipping in and out of consciousness, as he dragged your limp body out of the water. It was burned into his mind; the stillness of your face, the lack of breath fogging your mask. It was terrifying. He could feel his heart pounding against his entire body and it was deafening; the chaos around him diminished into a painful ringing in his ear; everyone’s voices had become clogged and far away. All he could focus on was you laying in front of him, barely hanging to the thread of life. It made him sick, how helpless he felt as you were pried out of his arms, being taken away. All of it haunted him, so he distracted himself, rehearsing in his mind everything he would say to you once you were well enough.
Neteyam had no idea how soon that would be or how much time had even passed. Daytime and eclipse were all the same to him. His body was trudging through the motions, carrying him to eat, drink, and sleep. He was just relieved you were alive, grateful to Ewya that she kept you alive, even if he didn’t know if she cared for your kind. But while you were all he could think of, his family was worrying more and more for him. His parents were lost, left with a shell of their son they didn’t recognize. His eyes were sunken and dark, his freckles dim. But everyone was too scared of saying the wrong thing that nothing was ever said, just concerned looks in passing.
One too many days had gone the same, and Kiri had enough. Night came and she laid on her side, staring at the stitching on the walls of their mauri pod, waiting until she heard the snores of each of her parents and siblings, all except for Neteyam’s. She sat herself up and crawled towards him, careful not to bump the toy’s Tuk left scattered on the floor.
“Neteyam.”
No response.
“Neteyam.”
More silence.
Kiri rolled her eyes and sighed, “I know you’re awake. I’m taking you to see y/n.”
Neteyam rolled over and sat up abruptly, the beads in his braids quietly clinking against each other at the sudden movement. “What?”
“Come on,” she pulled at his arm and guided him out of their mauri pod.
“I thought I wasn’t allowed to see her yet?”
“You’re not.”
“Then why are—“
Kiri cut him off, “You’re not yourself. You’ve locked yourself away and you don’t see how worried everyone is. I don’t want to see you sulk like this anymore, so I’m taking you to see her. I want my brother back.”
They continued walking in silence and Neteyam thought about what his sister said. He didn’t realize how much he had shut everyone out; he couldn’t remember the last time he talked to Lo’ak or even played with Tuk. Guilt filled his heart.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
Kiri’s ears flattened slightly and she gave him a soft smile. “You’ve been carrying a lot.”
They arrived at the healing pod you were being kept at. Neteyam had been waiting for this moment, but now that he was here he wasn’t sure he was ready. He stood, staring at the entrance; the air became thick and his heart beat began to increase. He had no idea what he would see when he went in, how bad a shape you were in, or if you were even awake. He turned to Kiri, his eyes seeking comfort and strength in his sister. She nodded and mouthed for him to go on. Reaching out, he lifted the flap up and walked in.
“Neteyam.”
His breath caught in his throat as he saw you, very much awake. He barely made out your shape in the dark room, minuscule light creeping in through the flap reflecting off your mask. Nothing came out of his gaping mouth while he struggled to find words to say. Everything he wanted to tell you, everything he repeated over and over in his mind for days slipped away.
You let out an airy laugh, “I take a bullet for you and you can’t even talk to me.”
Of course you were making a joke out of this; he should’ve expected nothing less, and it was all he needed for everything to come rushing back. He crouched down beside where you lay.
“You skxawng.”
“There it is.”
You stared up at him, eyes locked with his. There was so much hidden in them, so much emotion. You never told him, but his eyes always gave him away, gave away everything he was feeling, contrasting the front he put on. And his eyes knew yours just as well, a pool of colour he could get lost in forever, his favourite colour.
He grabbed your hand, gently tracing patterns into your soft skin, scared he might break you. “You’re so stupid,” he exhaled, “Why would you do that? You could’ve been dead.”
It’s not that you hadn’t thought of the weight of your actions, the very real consequence that could’ve been; you’ve had weeks alone with nothing but your thoughts, but hearing him say it made your heart sink into your stomach. You could’ve died.
“I know.” You intertwined your fingers; his engulfing your hand even with your extra pinky. “I just couldn’t let it be you,” water started brimming your eyes, making everything glossy as you blinked.
“I would’ve brought you back and killed you myself if you died,” he pressed his forehead against your mask. “I don’t care if it would unbalance life.”
You laugh at his extremity, even though there was truth in it. You knew he would, at least he’d definitely try, and if he couldn’t bring you back, he’d never let you rest and scold you in the afterlife, and that would be worse than hell.
“I’m okay. We’re okay,” you smile.
“I’d wipe your tears, but I wouldn’t want you to suffocate. It’d be embarrassing to die like that after getting shot.”
“And you’ve ruined the moment.”
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hawkeyetrained · 6 months
Text
Step Away From Him, Now
Dean Winchester x Fem!reader established relationship (nothing too detailed)
Other Characters: Sam Winchester (barely there), John Winchester
Warnings: canon violence (kinda?), language, mention of wounds, blood, wendigo mention, arguing, that’s it I think?
Summary: She's finally had enough of John treating Dean so horribly
A/N: This is kinda my take on how Dean used to talk about his dad. Probably made John out to be a little worse than he really was, but I always saw him as someone who pushed Dean to his limits when they hunted together
Word Count: 2712
John Winchester. Everyone in the hunting world knew that name. Winchester. Now, his sons Sam and Dean held the legendary last name in all the stories that were passed around.
John had been married to Mary, an amazing woman with hunter parents, who had wanted nothing more than to get out of the life she knew. She wanted to run as far as she could from the world of monsters and have a normal life with a husband who loved her and maybe a few little babies along the way. She did eventually make her way out of the hunting world and build the life she wanted. John loved her so much, and she did end up having two little baby boys after a few years, but the world of monsters didn’t leave her alone for long. She had gotten up one night to check on her youngest baby, little Sam Winchester, only for her world to come crashing down.
The story was well known now amongst hunters across the country. Sam and Dean were then raised in the world of monsters by their father who wanted nothing but revenge against the thing that killed his wife and mother of his boys. Now, that doesn’t mean John was winning ‘Father of the Year’ awards, his boys learned the hard way how to survive in the world filled with evil. Dean was practically forced to become his fathers little soldier, always taking orders, and doing as he was told in order to protect his younger brother.
My own mother had been friends with Mary before she left hunting to build her family, so when John and his boys turned up on our doorstep years after she died, my family didn’t hesitate to bring them in.
Over the years the Winchester boys and I grew up to be incredibly close. We learned to rely on each other during hunts, and once Sam had taken off for college, Dean and I became an unstoppable duo on hunts John sent us out on. We worked seamlessly together, always covering the others back and making sure everything was handled before the local law enforcement could catch up to us.
That doesn’t mean I always followed John’s orders. Dean took orders without hesitation while I stopped to question John when I knew a plan wouldn’t work or seemed a little too good to be true. Dean and I had been placed in the field as bait far too many times for me to blindly allow John Winchester to order me around anymore. My mother taught me well while I was growing up. She told me to always double check things before committing, make sure me and my partner were safe, and always watch my back.
Sam coming back to help Dean and I track John down made hunting even easier. A third set of eyes and a fresh take on the cases helped in ways Sam couldn’t even understand. Once we found John and managed to work a few cases as a group of four, I started picking up on things I hadn’t noticed when Sam wasn’t with us.
John was now always double-checking leads, making sure Sam was sent with plenty of weaponry and back up, while Dean and I were nearly forced to figure out our half the plan on our own without the promise of proper gear or even the availability to call for backup if something were to happen.
I had finally had enough when we were sent on a wendigo case John deemed “simple enough for the two of us to handle” and ended up with Dean and I nearly killed.
“I can’t take this anymore.” I half growled as we pulled into the motel parking lot John and Sam were staying in. “We’re gonna get killed one of these days because your father doesn’t give a shit about us.”
“Stop.” Dean parked the car. “He didn’t know there were more than one in those caves.” Again, Dean had an excuse to not blame his father.
My eyes were wide and mouth hanging open at his words. “You’re kidding, right? We didn’t do any of the research because he ‘had it covered’.” I moved my fingers with the quote John had said an hour before Dean and I left for the hunt. “He’s the one that said it was one and would be a simple case.” Dean stepped out of the car, favoring his right side from being tossed into some stone. I followed, carefully getting out of the sleek black Impala, and grabbing my bag from the back seat.
Everything in my body screamed in pain. My arms were bruised from where the creature had grabbed me, digging its nails into my skin, and bruising my once clear skin. Scrapes and deeper scratches littered my legs and arms from falling in rocks and being dragged down one of the tunnels. “Just stop.” Dean groaned, joining me on my side of the car and resting a hand on my cheek. “The important part is that we’re alive.”
His broken down and tired voice reduced my anger as I took in just how exhausted he looked. He and I had grown close over the years of hunting together, and that closeness eventually turned into love, that’s why we made such a great pair. I sighed and nodded my head, leaning in closer to his hand. “Ok, I’ll drop it for now. Just wanna grab a shower and pass out for the night.”
A soft smirk covered Dean’s face. “You and me both baby.” His arm drifted across my shoulders and pulled me into his side as we headed into the motel room to meet up with his family.
The moment the door was opened, and our bags were tossed to the floor, John was already up from the table and handing us a folder. “Got another one for you. A couple hours west of here that needs taken care of now.”
My hands clenched into fists as Dean took the folder and drifted over to the bed he and I shared to take a look. Everything in my body ached and I knew Dean was in the same boat, plus, he could do with about three days of sleep to make up for lost sleep over the last week. He was barely running on black coffee and the little food he ate between fighting monsters and catching maybe an hour or two of sleep each night. At the first sight of his eyes slipping closed as he read through the folder, my anger got the better of me.
“No.” I snapped, grabbing my bag from the floor, and moving to my side of the bed opposite Dean. “We’re not taking a hunt hours away tomorrow.”
“Excuse me?” John turned from the table.
I crossed my arms defiantly. “I said no. Can’t you hear?” Sam glanced at Dean in a way to figure out where my anger was coming from. “Dean and I haven’t had a break in weeks, John. Weeks. We need sleep, and time to heal.”
“People are dying out there. Don’t you get that?” John snapped, slapping down another few folders and a notebook.
“I do, and that sucks, but seriously? People die every day, sometimes luck runs out, and yeah, it’s really shitty to die from a monster mommy and daddy tell you isn’t real, but that’s the world we live in. If you’re so concerned about these people, then you can go deal with it.”
John looked like I had just smacked him across the face. “You need to get control over her.” His eyes had slipped over to Dean’s. “You’ve both got three hours till your asses better be on the road for Colorado.”
My mouth had dropped open in shock from John thinking Dean could or would control anything I did like that. I was prepared to give him a real piece of my mind when Dean finally spoke up. “No.” he stood from his spot on the bed and joined my side. “You know, we were nearly killed today. The freak got the drop on us with one of its buddies and dragged her down a tunnel. All because your research was wrong.” His voice was slowly growing in volume, and I was beyond thankful the motel was practically empty tonight. “You haven’t even taken a moment to ask if we’re ok. But yeah, dad, were gonna be fine.”
John launched into a rant on how Dean and I have been messing up every hunt over the last few months, coming back with more and more wounds, more complaints, and requesting more time between hunts. He threw every little thing at Dean’s face like he wasn’t already in pain from the day. I watched as Dean’s face slowly fell from the confident and angry man trying to protect me, to the look of a kicked puppy as his dad belittled him with his younger brother watching on. I could tell Sam didn’t know how to step in and stick up for Dean, so it was up to me to protect the oldest Winchester when no one else would.
“Back up.” That same angry growl from the car scratched at my words as I stepped beside John who had cornered Dean into the wall of the motel. “Step away from him, now.” My hands balled into fists, tighter and tighter with the longer John was taking to back away from his son. “I said back the hell up, now.”
His dark eyes flashed to my face as he stepped back half a foot. “The hell you say to me?”
I pushed my way between John and Dean, making sure to keep eye contact with John Winchester while I did. “You do not get to talk to him like that. Dean isn’t some little soldier toy for you to throw at the problems you think he can fix. He isn’t indestructible like you think he is. He’s human and needs a god damned break every once in a while. How can you not see that he doesn’t want to let you down but that he’s struggling to keep up with your constant demands? He does everything you ask, “keep an eye on Sammy, don’t let anything happen to Sammy”.” I started quoting him from the past few years. “You have two sons, John. Don’t you remember that? Two! Dean deserves the protection you give to Sam as well. He’s your kid too!”
Silence filled the motel room after my little outbreak, but I couldn’t tell if John was going to let it go for the night or continue to fight. “Dean’s the oldest. He knows the responsibilities that come with that.”
It felt like my skin was on fire with the anger that radiated through my body. “I need you to shut the fuck up and listen for once in your life.” Sam was silent and still as a statue on the bed, papers still scattered around him. “I don’t give a shit about if he’s the oldest or whatever is stuck in your twisted head. I understand you lost your wife, and baby Sam never got a chance to know his mother, and that’s horrible. But Dean lost his mom too. He lost her just like you and Sam did, but because he was four and not a baby, that means to you that he now deserves to be your slave for the rest of his life. It means hunting what you deem necessary and when you say so? He isn’t someone you get to command around for eternity.”
“And who the hell do you think you are, telling me what to do with my family. Last I checked, you weren’t a part of this family.” John’s anger was boiling over at this point. His face was bright red, and I swore I could see a vein in his neck pulsing. “You’re just some tag-along who thinks she can stick around with Dean long enough to be more than a piece of ass to him.”
That caused a deafening silence to flood the room that even a gunshot couldn’t overpower. “Right.” I nodded, willing the sting in my eyes to go away so John wouldn’t have more ammunition to throw at me. “Right. I’m here simply because I wanna be a late-night booty call to him…it couldn’t possibly be because someone needs to be on his side for once. Couldn’t be that he needs someone to watch his back on hunts because his father doesn’t care enough. Or it couldn’t be that I simply love him and want to be here for him, right? No, it’s absolutely because I wanna be his hook-up on the few nights where he isn’t struggling to stay awake because he has to finish some research you and Sam couldn’t do, or the other nights where he’s too busy being beaten by monsters.” I took a deep breath and stepped back an inch, barely leaving enough space between John and I before I turned towards the bed to grab my purse and gear bag. “Go to hell, John.” My shoulder slammed into his as I walked past him and out of the motel room.
I didn’t make it very far down the row of rooms before a voice could call and stop me in my tracks. “Wait a minute!” Dean’s voice echoed over the nearly vacant parking lot.
“What?” I asked as he joined my side, his green bag hanging from his hand. “Wait, I…Dean. Did he…”
“No. He didn’t throw me out.” Dean’s free hand came to rest on my shoulder. “I just ditched. I couldn’t let you leave alone after that.” Guilt tugged at my chest as I thought of Dean walking away from the only family he had left.
“I shouldn’t have said anything. It wasn’t my place and…”
He cut me off again. “No one’s ever stood up for me like that.” Dean was quiet as his eyes met mine. “I’ve never had someone in my corner against my dad before.”
“You don’t deserve the way he treats you.”
“I know. It’s always been hard to tell him when I need time off, or even just a break. He’s so driven and focused all the time on getting the thing that killed mom that I don’t think he even notices how he acts sometimes.”
I dropped my bag. “God, Dean. There you go again. You make up these excuses for the way he acts like its ok to treat you like a damn dog. I don’t care that he wants to find the thing that killed her, you and Sam want that just as badly but you two don’t go out endangering each other at every little possible chance you get. I’m sorry you guys lost her, that sucks, and I can’t imagine the pain you all felt, but he needs to understand that you can’t keep risking your life like he expects you to.”
He nodded at my words. “I know.” It was barely a whisper coming from him now. “I just don’t know how to tell him. You’ve seen it, the way he gets when he sets his mind to something.”
“I know.” It was my turn to nod. “You get it from him. You’re so focused sometimes on the hunt or helping someone that everything else kinda blurs.” I gently cradled his face in my hands. “There is one huge difference though. When your partner is hurt, or even struggling, you drop everything as fast as you can to go help them. You’re there in time to save me, every time I need you.”
“And I always will be, you know that, right?” Dean’s hands rested softly on my hips, drawing me in closer to his chest.
“I do.” I smiled up at him. “Now, what do you say to a drink at the bar down the street and a night spent in the car in the middle of nowhere?”
“I’d say that sounds like a great plan to me.” He let me grab the bag I dropped, pressed a soft kiss to the side of my head, and led me towards the infamous black Impala.
@thetallassgirl @hallecarey1
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lokisprettygirl · 5 months
Text
Under his influence (Post Avengers! Loki x female reader)
Read chapter 35 here/ Series Masterlist
Chapter 36
Summary : Loki's torture ends as after years of separation he finds his way back to you.
Warning: 18+, HUGE Canon divergence (Just me making shit up), timey wimey stuff topics dealing with cheating and falling out of love, mention of pregnancy, infertility, gif is how he looked ;)
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When Loki had chosen to fix the timeline again he knew he'd be in his own personal hell that he himself had created for the next few years of his life. When Frigga died all he wanted to do was run back to you so you'd hold him in your arms and comfort him but he couldn't.
After the events of Svartalfheim he pretended to be deceased and moved to midgard for a while until Thor had found him again.. he had promised the ancient one that he wouldn't interfere in your life and he didn't, first few weeks were the hardest for him, worst, at times he thought that he'd rather go through Thanos's torture again then go through this.
He wasn't able to sleep or do anything but he stayed strong, for you, for both of you. He missed you with every inch of his life, the only thing keeping him going forward was the assurance that each and every day was only bringing him closer to you.
Seven years was a long time, every morning as he awakened he thought of you and his heart broke in pieces as he realized that you must have been sad and lonely at times as well, feeling as if you're life was meaningless, fearing that you'd never fall in love with a man, would never feel the heat you so badly craved and he knew you'd feel that way for a long time to come. And he wouldn't be able to stop you from hurting this way, he really wished he could have loved you better than this but he felt helpless, time was never really on his side.
For a god seven years weren't really much but you were just a mortal.. and he knew with every passing year you were only losing more hope, losing more life as he just moved on with his own and did nothing..
Two years passed somehow and he knew you'd go on to marry Strange during this time period, he knew all about what was going to happen and he couldn't stop the precious love of his life as she got tied to another man.
As she became a wife but certainly not his.
....
"Happy birthday sweetheart" you heard your mom's voice on the phone , she was the only one to call you after Mrs Geller, at least they remembered your birthday because your own husband didn't.
"Thanks mom, what are you doing?" you asked her so she sighed,
"Y/n you know you are 35 now, you don't have much time left, are you both planning to have kids or not?" you groaned internally as she said that. You haven't really told her the truth yet. Sure your sex life was as bland as a weak tea but that didn't mean you didn't want kids of your own, you really did but nothing worked.
Even though your body was healthy and hospitable as your doctors had told you, you couldn't just get pregnant, you thought maybe Stephen was infertile but he was perfectly fine in that department as well, it was a medical mystery why you weren't able to get pregnant.
"Is that the only thing you think of all the time mom?" You asked her, bit annoyed by her inquiry. Well you were very annoyed.
"Of Course I do"
She answered so you rolled your eyes, once she hung up you got out of the bed and got ready for work, as you stepped out in the living room Stephen was there on the kitchen table reading a newspaper. As your eyes met with each other he gave you a smile that never really reached his eyes whenever he was around you. You didn't blame him either.
"Good morning" you mumbled as you made your way to the kitchen to make a quick breakfast for yourself.
"Morning, I'm off to Philadelphia today and won't return for a week" he told you nonchalantly so you nodded.
"Well..Drive safely" he chuckled as you said that.
"You don't have to worry about that anymore " he smirked so you resisted the urge to roll your eyes again.
Two years ago he had gotten into a bad accident that had almost ended his life. Doctors had told him that he'd never be able to operate again but then he went to Nepal and apparently found a mystic healer or something, you couldn't believe your eyes when he had returned perfectly fine as if nothing had happened to him, however you did notice a slight change in his demeanor, he was less arrogant and more sympathetic towards you.
For a few weeks your relationship with him had gotten better but then it fizzled again, your heart was never in the right place when you married him, you knew you shouldn't have married him. You shouldn't have married him because you sure as hell weren't in love with him, as much as you had all these fantasies about a magical love life since you were eight, it never really happened to you. You never found a man who made your heart skip a beat with his presence, gave you butterflies that would leave you gushing for days or made you feel heated just by his mere touch.
When you turned turned thirty two you had just accepted that not everyone was destined to find that sort of love so you settled for Stephen and he settled for you, though you didn't understand his reasons, because he sure as hell wasn't in love with you either.
A year later you finally built the courage to ask for a divorce and much to your surprise he agreed almost immediately, that's when he confessed to you that he had been having an affair with his colleague Christine, not that it gave you a whiplash or made you feel betrayed, you had a feeling he wasn't faithful to you.
You had been cheated on before and were still carrying the scars it had left behind but with Stephen it didn't even hurt, you were equally responsible for this, sure you never cheated on him but you were never really there either, he never really felt like a lover to you, there was no romantic love between you two and it was proven as you two had met at your parents' anniversary a few months later after the divorce, that's when you knew that a platonic friendship is what you needed from him.
You were enjoying a life where you weren't trapped in a forced loveless marriage but that wasn't to say that you liked being alone, you despised it, all you wanted to do was find a man who'd love you as crazily as you'd love him but you knew you weren't blessed enough to find him.
Even when you met guys who you felt a miniscule amount of attraction for -they were either too young or too old, and both didn't seem interested in you in that way, you would turn forty in a few years, your time had ended but accepting it was way harder than one could imagine.
The hopeless romantic in you just wanted to find love, it didn't want to give up but with every passing year you were losing your will to go on, you have always felt so hollow from deep within, but it only got worse as you entered this decade of your life. You still remembered crying all night on your 30th birthday, now you wanted to go back to being thirty again, that felt much better than this..
Ever since you had turned thirty you always felt as if you were missing a piece of your heart, as if someone owned it but you didn't remember who. You always felt as if there was a man out there for you but you weren't able to find him anywhere, as if he wasn't even from this planet.
Few more months later Stephen invited you to his birthday bash in NYC. You had moved back to Minnesota post the divorce so he flew you in and even arranged for your stay. A free lavish trip wasn't the offer you were going to say no to so the night of his birthday you put on a fancy green dress, the thin straps had cute hearts shapes attached to it and after a long time you actually felt good about yourself. You had been working out, taking care of yourself, doing everything you could to still feel a little hopeful in life and it worked until your head finally hit the bed at night and made you aware of how miserable your life has become.
As you reached the venue you met Christine and things were unsurprisingly good between you two, she was a good woman, she understood Stephen and loved him the way you never did. He deserved that. Also apparently he was a superhero now but you still didn't understand what he actually did or what his purpose was. Sometimes you really sucked at being a nice person and taking interest in other people's lives.
After dancing for a bit you felt very tired so you told Christine you were going to grab a drink.
You sat down next to a gentleman in a black suit, he was attractive. He probably was the most attractive man you had seen in your life, his raven hair went past his shoulders and when he looked at you, those green eyes bored right into your soul. You also felt as if you had seen him before, you felt as if you had known him for years.
Usually men such as him made you feel extremely nervous around themselves and insecure in a weird way but for some unknown reason you felt calm with him..
"Sorry i didn't mean to stare, i felt as if i had seen you somewhere" he chuckled as you said that, that mere smile gave you butterflies. What was happening to you? This wasn't like you at all. You had never felt such an intense attraction towards a man before, not this way.
As soon as Loki saw you from across the dance floor, all the feelings that he had been suffocating for seven years were threatening to explode but he kept his cool, you didn't remember him and he had to do it in a way that wouldn't make you feel scared of him. He had waited years to find you again, he could wait more.
"Perhaps you have seen me on the news, I invaded your planet with an army a few years ago" your eyes widened in realization as he said that.
"Oh my god you're Loki '' you said to him and he turned his head to look at you, his lips sipped on the neat whiskey he had ordered for himself. Gorgeous gorgeous guy you thought, of course he was, he was a literal god. You and your standards you thought.
"For a moment I was afraid my popularity had plummeted around here" you let out a nervous laughter as he said that. He had clearly caught you checking him out.
"Noo i.. I read about you at the time, saw you in the news ..my ex husband actually made me see why we were supposed to hate you" you mumbled as you airquoted your sentence, a bit ashamed by the reveal, you still remembered your first date with Stephen where he just ranted against Loki, so why was he there at his birthday party now?
"Well I hope your feelings are not the same anymore" you gulped as the intense eye contact made you feel flushed. Your cheeks felt warm so warm and all you wanted to do was lean into him like a pervert.
"So what are you doing here?" You asked him to avoid feeling those butterflies that were swarming in your belly.
"I was summoned here for a crucial discussion," he answered you.
"Ohhh" you mumbled.
"I watched you dancing over there" your ears perked up as he said that. There were so many gorgeous, young and gorgeous women at the party, why was he watching you? Men that looked like him never went for women like you.
"You did?" You cleared your throat as you spoke,
"You have a way with your hips don't you?" Was he flirting with you? Oh god it's been years since a man this attractive had flirted with you. A man you actually wanted to flirt with you.
"Ummm well i wanted to be a dancer once" you mumbled and suddenly felt like a fool.
"I can tell, makes me think of other situations where you could show me how those hips could work" you bit on your lips as he said that. Loki's entire self grimaced as he was clearly being obscene with you, but he was pretending to be the confident asshole he was known as, however as he noticed the way you had blushed he found himself craving your touch. It's been seven years for norns sake.
He placed his fingers on your chin to make you look at him and brought his lips to your ears, if he was some other guy you would have pushed him away by now but for some reason you felt hypnotized by his mere presence, everything about him enchanted you, you felt as if you were under his influence, his cologne attacked your senses and all you wanted to do was kiss him.
You had never felt such scorching heat with someone in your life, you never thought you'd ever get to feel it either, you didn't think it existed for you.
"Care for a dance?" He whispered in your ears and you could only whine in response which he took as a yes. His fingers laced with yours as he dragged you to a secluded corner of the hall.
Baby, you can
Ride it, ooh, yeah
Bring it over to my place
"Nice song isn't it?" He whispered in your ear so you hummed in response, it existed because of you and you didn't even know that, you were the one to send the lyrics of the song to Mark Johnson in the hope that it'll get sent to the artist. Apparently it did.
You moved slowly with him to the rhythm of the music, he placed his hands on your lower back and the action made you gasp, dipping you down slowly before he pulled you up, smushing you so close to him in a moment, your chest were pressed to him, you were too close to man you barely knew.
And you be like
"Baby, who cares?"
But I know you care
Bring it over to my place
Your hips rolled in circles and hands curled around his neck, what was this feeling? Your lips were so close to him but he wasn't kissing you, even though you wanted him to just kiss you desperately.
You don't know what you did, did to me
Your body lightweight speaks to me
I don't know what you did, did to me
Your body lightweight speaks to me
"Goddd" You whispered and a small smile curved the corner of his mouth.
"There you are i have been looking for you"
You heard Stephen's voice so you pulled away from the man you had met a few minutes ago. Even after the divorce was finalized you still felt weird about being close with another man around him.
"What happened?" You looked at him and he snickered in response.
"I was talking to him, I called him here to discuss something important"
You directed your attention towards Loki and he smiled at you before he looked you up and down from head to toe then he leaned into you to press a goodbye kiss on your cheek,
"See me again sometime later?"
You nodded as he said that, he walked towards your ex husband and went along with him, his smell lingered around you still and you had to sit down in order to calm down your nerves.
You had never felt this way before, you had lost all hope of finding a man you'd feel this level of attraction for and now you were almost thirty seven and a literal god was showing interest in you. A god. You wanted to scream because you knew he was unattainable, maybe he was just looking for a one night stand, of course he did. Guys weren't really looking to marry you at your age. At Least not men like him.
Strange had invited you here but he was missing from his own party so after a while you made your way upstairs to tell him that you were going back to the hotel as you felt tired, or maybe that was just another excuse to see Loki. Not it wasn't, you weren't that desperate for a man you had just met. You had never been that person. Right?
As soon as you reached the room you knocked on the door and took a deep breath, much to your delight Loki opened the door instead.
"If I didn't know you any better i'd have made an assumption that you came here for me" Your face flushed again as he said that, the smirk on his beautiful face was apparent.
"Well You don't know me Mister. Is Stephen here?"
He smiled and stepped away so you could get in the room but as you got in you noticed that Strange wasn't there
"He went away for a moment" Loki said to you so you sighed and turned around to look at him
"Umm okay..will you please tell him that I am tired and going back to the hotel? I'm staying at the Ritz"
"Sure would my lady, I'm sure he knew that already or perhaps the invitation is for me?" He asked you and you felt your face heating up again but instead of getting nervous you got bold instead, you didn't know where it came from..
"Maybe it is"
"What room?"
Lord, was he going to visit you?
"143"
He nodded his head as you said that and you walked past him to leave the room.
"Do you even know my name?" you suddenly turned around to ask him and he gave you a soft smile in response,
"It's y/n..isn't it?"
"He told you, didn't he?"
He didn't know why his eyes teared up at the question, he had been holding himself back from just wanting to grab you and kiss you at the moment.
"He did"
As soon as you were out of the room you took a deep breath, how come you had bumped into the sexiest man you had ever laid your eyes on? Not just that but he actually seemed interested in you. Things like that just didn't happen to you so it felt a little weird. What did he want from you? Perhaps a night of debauchery? That was your best guess, only half an hour later you heard a knock on the door so you opened it and found him on the other side,
You invited him in so he looked around before he diverted the attention back at you.
"Ummm you want something to drink? I have like ummm let me check" you walked towards the mini refrigerator to rummage through it "There's coke, some alcoholic beverages, I don't know if you consume that" He chuckled as you said that.
"Don't they charge heftly for that?" He asked you curiously.
"Well my ex is paying for the room so you know" he chuckled as you said that. Norns he had missed you and all your little quirks.
"I will have whatever this Coke is supposed to be" you smiled nervously as he said that. You grabbed a can from the mini freezer and passed it to him, you were shocked a little when he opened the can without even using his fingers,
"It's a charm" he said as he found you looking a bit starstruck.
"I see.. I mean I know..you're also magical and all" He smiled as you said that, he walked closer to you and your breath quickened as he continued to reach closer and closer to you with every step.
"Have a sip lady y/n" he pressed the can right over your lips and it made you gulp.
"It's okay…I ummm" you stuttered on your words and he couldn't help but enjoy the sight of you squirming like that. It boded well for his ego that he had such an affect on you even though you didn't even remember him just yet.
"I insist, it would be rude of me to not offer" you pressed your lips on the opening of the can and he raised it up a little so you could take a sip. After you were done with the sip, he brought the can back up to his own lips and drank from it, all while his eyes stayed glued to yours. He noticed the residue of the drink on the corner of your mouth and all he wanted to do was lick it off. His thoughts were filthy. It's been seven years, that was two thousand five hundred fifty five nights of him just touching himself to your memories .
"Uhhh so how was the meeting with Stephen?" You asked him to cut through the tension..
"Atrocious, he so badly needed my assistance but the arrogant arse took a while before he admitted it" you chuckled as he said that.
"Well you should have seen him years ago before ahhh the accident..he was way worse"
"Mmmhmmm?" He walked closer to you and placed the can down on the dresser behind you "Makes me wonder why a sweet woman like you would ever hitch herself to a man such as him" He whispered, his voice remained low and husky.
"Well I thought it was the right thing to do at the time" you looked down and he figured you couldn't even look in his eyes for longer than a few seconds.
"Is that so? Did it feel right?" He put his fingers on your chin and made you look up at him, every inch of your skin began to tingle with his touch. What was he doing to you and why?
"Not really..if the divorce wasn't enough of an indication for you then let me tell you that I do regret that decision everyday of my life"
He smiled as you said that. The forest green slip dress you had on made you look delectable, there were two heart shaped ribbons attached to the top of the straps that kept the dress hanging on your body, he found it really adorable. You let out a moan as his thumb brushed over your lower lip.
"Lokiiii" the sound of his whispered name made his cock harden in a jiff but he used the charm to keep himself from showing it, he didn't want you to think as if he was there for just a night of fun.
"Apologies little one, I got carried away" He took a step back and he noticed your heavy breathing. You weren't making this any easier, he remembered the dream he had about you two before where he lived the same scenario, he knew what you were going to say to him, it always started this way between you two, with friendship, a relationship that was built in such a way could have only lasted forever, there was no other way around it.
"It's okay I just… I am still dealing with the divorce and I just.. I don't know what you thought would happen tonight and I know I invited you here basically but I ..I'm just not ready for ..you know" your eyes teared up as you mumbled, that wasn't the reason why you didn't want to sleep with him, you didn't care about the divorce, you just didn't want him to think of you as someone he could have fun with for a night and leave, his own eyes softened as he noticed the anxious look on your face.
"Whatever it is that you desire from me tonight, I will give you that darling" he said firmly so you smiled before you chuckled slightly in disbelief.
"Really? So if I tell you that I barely have any friends and I want you to be my friend first, would you be my friend?" You asked him, he could sense the mockery in your tone, he didn't blame you, he knew his reputation wasn't the best especially because of how promiscuous his brother was on midgard he figured you must have put him through the same judgment, you didn't remember him after all.
"I would love to be your friend, I do not have any either"
Your eyes widened as he said that.
"Okay so ummm okay we can be friends i guess" he smiled as he grabbed your hand and placed a formal kiss on the back.
"My lady, I won't disappoint you i promise"
He kissed your forehead and as you looked up at him all of a sudden he just felt so familiar, as if you knew him in some other life, he felt like home and you couldn't really describe why.
That night as you both stayed up and talked you found yourself getting more and more attracted to him.
Days passed and turned into weeks but he never stepped out of line or asked you for things you never wanted to do, all your life you had felt a certain emptiness in your soul, even when you felt happy at times you found yourself thinking about the missing piece of your heart, you had always felt as if you were born with half a soul and for once in your life you were starting to believe that he was it. That he was the one you had been looking for, that he was the answer to all those questions. But he felt too good to be true.
How could someone be so precious as he was?
You had no idea how complicated your relationship was with him but you were going to find out the truth on your coming birthday..he was going to change your life forever, it would never be the same again.
And that is exactly what you had wished for all your life.
🥹💚🥹💚🥹💚🥹💚🥹💚🥹💚🥹
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http-finnick · 1 year
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𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫.
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finnick odair x fem!reader
summary: he said he'd be better, that he'd stop going to her for help and turn to his wife, but you stopped believing his lies a long time ago.
cw: emotional cheating
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"you don't understand"
"tell me! make me understand!" your throat hurt, your eyes burn as you scream at him. completely done with grief passing and acceptance ready to take its position
you just can't anymore.
not with him. not with anyone.
"just give me time" "10 years! I gave you 10 fucking years how many more do you want!"
"why can't you work with me?" he yelled, slamming his fist into the island table that separates you.
.
being a wife to a victor isn't always easy.
it might seem like a comfortable life.
but it's anything but that.
you were childhood friends, lifelong buddies. when he got reaped it broke you but you still were there for him. always hearing him out, never pushing him when it wasn't needed, you were always there for him.
when she got reaped the next year and won, finnick went to you with relief and dread all over
"she could've died." "that would've been on me"
"all of those tributes are on me"
he wept and wept and you carried him, hugging him so tightly he'd turn blue.
he never really talked about his games. even when you started dating at 16 he'd always keep it short.
you knew it was bad that he hid his feelings but when you tried to help it ended up in a fight and him running off
you'd find him drunk the next day.
but soon he'd come back sober, better, healed.
you had no idea what 360 happened to him, but you were grateful
when you asked him about it he shrugged and mumbled he was talking to someone
finally, he's getting help.
once you found out it wasn't a shrink but a girl, Annie to be exact. you weren't mad, more curious
you asked him why you found out that it was her through town gossip and not his lips, but a shrug was all you got.
"I don't see the big deal here"
your lover was gone. now just some housemate instead of our husband.
you cried in the shower and put a smile on through the rest of your days.
soon it wasn't the games he kept from you and told her, it was everything
even asking what he ate for breakfast was a simple "nothing"
you couldn't stop your sobs that into the pillow, your shaking frame and chokes of breaths that got caught in your throat must've irked him enough to wrap his arms around you
you realized thats the most contact you've had with him in months. he mumbled sorry and promised to be better.
but he wasnt.
years passed and he was not not telling you things, it's just he'd lie about them
you saw him eat toast this morning, so simple, so why'd he say eggs? you saw him pick up roses, came home empty-handed, he said they were for his mother's grave. but her grave was flowerless the next day.
theses little things made the words affair scream in your head, and now you're here, and you've snapped.
.
"finnick. i've been trying to work with you, give you time, help you, for fucking years" you said, voice shaking but calm as tears roll down your cheek
"i've been dying" you added
"you haven't touched me in years, I feel like a failure and all you want is fucking her so go!" you screamed at the end, staring at him straight in his eyes as he looked at you with guilt layered with surprise
"I don't know what you want from me" he shakes his head and your hand slams down on the counter to make sure you aren't hallucinating this bullshit
"the bare fucking minimum! you're supposed to go to me when you feel like you can't go anywhere! you're supposed to go to me when you need someone or just want to be around anyone! you can't even do that so why did you marry me?" you're left in silence as he stares at the floor
"I can't talk to you about this stuff, you wouldn't get it. you didn't go through what I wen-"
"I wish I did. I wish I was reaped so you didn't become this sad mess of a person. finnick, I'm sick of hearing this because you say she's helping you but you're still the same 14-year-old left in the arena." you cry out, he looks up at you with tears swirling in his eyes, jaw clenched as he processes your words
"I'm better, I'm getting better"
"no. no you're not. you'd be better with a real therapist, not someone just as broken as you."
he grips the table and his teeth sink down into his lips, you see the blood pool but you also see the realization in his eyes
"you need help finnick, and I hope you find it." and with that, you grab your coat and head for the door
"s-so what? you're gonna leave me like this? at my worst?" he chokes on his tears, pleading eyes staring at your frame
"you've always been at your worst." you shrug with the last of your tears falling to the floor and walk out into the cloudy air that welcomes you to a new life.
one that you'll be free.
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an: hey guys :) I know some of you might disagree with y/n here but it's okay lmao. I really wanted to write angst for nonvictor!y/n x finnick because I feel for her that he went through all of that and she's just there. and having him go to another woman who doesn't help him but just drives him away from real help and his wife, ooo just angsty angsty angstyyyy! also, i really like the name for this one because it goes both ways. y/n will never be better than annie in his eyes and he is never gonna be 100% okay again. anyway, I love you guys so much!
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tearskillstardust · 4 months
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🎐 WINTER FLOWERS AND AUTUMN LEAVES; k. kazuha
— summary; kazuha has very little in his life to hold on to, and when love leaves his grasp, he doesn't know what to do anymore. [povs switch frequently] modern au!
— !! tw: themes of— death, suicide, depression, implied sex, co-dependency, toxic relationship. !! MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. — female reader. angst and emotional content. long read under the cut.
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It was midnight.
When I was born, that is.
Of course I couldn't remember it, and I bet mother lied that she could just so she didn't look like an entirely awful parent. She recited the fact it was the most beautiful day of her life because she overheard women in crowded markets say that to their little five-year-old sons, but little five-year-old me still thought I was special. Apparently, I was a handful, and nothing had changed since.
I soon realized she mixed this beautiful day up with the day my father left her, which was only a week before. They'd argued: bottles smashed, tremors, pleading, front door slammed. She shut doors with special caution for eighteen years after that, nudging them slowly as they creaked one, two, three times into the doorframe whilst gently twisting the doorknob into place as if she were waiting for someone to knock again, letting them know she'd kept the door open for so long but would still let them slip through.
I never found out what they argued about. Me, probably. The smartest thing mother ever did was never tell me.
When I was six, seven, eight, nine, and ten, I'd gotten used to taking care of my mother, tipping water down her throat, carefully, both hands, the way I should've been practising on a doll. I used to go out and spend hours in parks with kids who didn't care about me just to come home to find her scattered on the living room floor. I didn't understand. Was I meant to? Mummy, why are you sleeping on the floor? Why were you sick? It smells of vomit in here, wake up—
I didn't go out very much after that.
But school and friends peeled me away from it. It was both terrifying and refreshing. The only thing was that nobody's parents were like mine—theirs were together. Proud. But I couldn't tell if they were happy. A slice of me well-kept in the ragged pocket in my chest hoped they weren't. It was selfish of me and I knew it but each time I watched someone's parents give their child a gentle smile or pat on the back, I felt like crying my ribs sore.
'Someday, Kazuha, someday,' you often rubbed my back soothingly when it happened.
Someday, I would echo silently, and like someone descending into anesthesia, I began to count backwards.
4 months ago.
'Why do you like winters?', Kazuha had questioned you once, a few months ago, playing around with a leaf in his hand. You couldn't help but look up from your book, only to find him resting against the tree, pondering something deeply.
You stared at him for a bit, at his serene beauty that seemed to be enhanced by the sun's dying rays as they shone over him, before going right back to your book. You shrugged, 'No deep reasons, I just like daffodils I guess.'
'And why do you like daffodils?'
You huffed, irritated but affectionate in the gesture, nonetheless. It was a certain difficulty about Kazuha that made him all the more endearing— but his own habit of over-romanticizing everything never quite appealed to you, nor could you understand where it came from.
For someone who had constantly been pressurized to be the best, you had no time for poetry and art— and he was born a poet. You were thankful for his existence and his acceptance for you, but the poet inside of him could never really be accepted entirely.
You looked up finally once you were done with your page. 'Why does it matter, Kazuha?', you said, never looking directly at him as you picked a lone flower on the ground. He stared on, curious.
'Everything withers when winter passes and returns with spring. Beauty blooms in summer and dies in Autumn. Your or my own preferences don't matter, nature remains undeterred.'
'Isn't their comfort in romanticizing life, though? Finding love and loss in our twilight existence.'
'So you just want to feel loved by giving adjective to natural things?'
He laughed at the simplification. 'No, but to be more direct, since you would like that, I merely like having natural memoirs to associate people and places with, so I tag them with adjectives. Much easier for a wanderer to keep, isn't it?'
You sighed quietly before smiling softly at him. 'You're at it again? Not everyone leaves, Kazuha. Some people come in our lives to stay,'
He smiled at your words, though the smile never quite reached his eyes.
3 weeks ago.
I had always loved stargazing. There was something about staring at the stars that shape our unfortunately funny lives and still deeming them worthy of our praise. Making them the base of our adoration.
I had invited Kazuha here, and though we had talked a lot initially, which ultimately led to kissing and to confession and to this— his head on my lap as I rested against the slide of the children's park, watching with him as the night zoomed by, suddenly every possibility of the future crossed my mind and I couldn't help the curious cat inside of me.
'Why would you want to be with me?', I asked, staring down at him.
Don't get it wrong— he is the love of my life. The most beautiful person I have ever known, ephemeral inside out. Perhaps that's the problem. He is like a songbird, and I am a hunter. Horses don't befriend the grass, but I fall deeper in love nonetheless.
Sometimes I scare myself— Will I ever be able to save myself from the depths I am venturing to? Will he reach his hand out? Will I be able to see him from the depths? Will it be too—
'I love you, that's why.'
What a lie.
'Huh?' I hadn't meant to say it out loud, but it would be for the best of both of us.
'You wouldn't think of suicide and then not think of me if you really did, Kazuha.'
He had nothing to say, he quietly stared on. More startled with the knowledge of my awareness than looking for an answer.
But I could not blame him, I had nothing to say either.
I pressed my lips against his in that moment, not realizing I had been crying until he wiped the tears with his thumb. He kissed with a passion, pouring himself out, as though saying all the words through this kiss then he would ever have time to before he left. He always kissed deeply— but right now he did it as though he was desperate to tell me his tale of love.
But I had stopped believing him after a point, and my own support remained these small physical exchanges that we would have; away from the world, under the stars, hoping they would have some pity on us. On me.
'Do you really love me, Kazuha?', I asked when he pulled away, our breaths mingling in an intimate dance of fire and ice. His touch lingered a bit too long on my exposed neck, and I knew part of what was coming.
He remained quiet when I wanted him to answer, before pushing me down on the grass, continuing the kiss. I was the songbird perhaps.
Curiosity killed the cat.
1 day ago.
She wasn't the same after that.
After we slept together, that is.
I had not wanted to hurt her, but only yesterday as I thought over everything once again, I realized how selfish I was. How filthy. Her purity had always been a source of utmost awe for me, as I stared at her skin, free of sin. But it had been foolishness on my side— I should've known my hands would burn against her skin. I should've steered away, but then she stepped in the lion's den like a willing sacrifice.
My mother had said it to me once— it's easier to solve conflicts between lovers if you sleep with them, albeit half drunk.
She was wrong about it.
She was so wrong about many things.
But like a desperate man drowning in dark waters, I clawed at whatever I could take and she, the love of my life, gave me whatever she could before the waters reached waist-deep and I pushed her away.
When we shared a bed, she was the last to sleep. I wasn't a mind reader but I was nearly certain I knew her every reason for muffling her wails in her blanket. I wanted to get up and say something. But when I went to Germany, Greece, then Italy, I needed her to feel nothing but relief. The euphuism had been funny, but she saw right through it.
The moon tutted at me, the sun nearly ready to rise over her, trees leaning over in private chatter, whistling together, chiming their little criticisms as the sinners—suicide and homicide—stared at each other.
I had always dreamed of how today would be ever since I had made up my mind. Dying was never easy, no matter how badly you desired peace. Instincts could never be stopped. Drowning, cutting, burning, suffocating— I tried everything in the same order, then backwards, then all at once. But even my self-loathing was not strong enough to betray my instincts.
She found me once— laying in a pool of my own blood. I had never seen her crying before, she'd been desperate, desperate to do anything, to scream, to cry, to shout but the night was a trap on us that doused her voice and she was left with all but one person to rely on— herself, as she carried me to the hospital.
If the Hindus were right, I was worthy of being a Hemlock in my next life. Cursed to eternal damnation by the gods— a life devoid of love, adoration or beauty. Only the winter for company and solace.
Such thoughts did not scare me.
She did not cry tonight, only packed her bags and left.
7 hours ago.
I folded over into her like a secret billet-doux. I was unbelievably small next to her, my words just as frail as I was. She wanted us to break up. I knew she did, I just wanted to be happy in my last breaths by playing a game of pretense.
'Can you hold me until I'm completely gone?'
Her brows furrowed, eyes devoid of their usual kindness. 'Kazuha.'
She said my name without anything attached to it, like those three syllables meant everything between ardour and despair.
'I know you hate me,' I reassured her, 'I only want to pretend I'm not alone for a moment.'
I began to cry. Am I that insignificant, God? Am I easy to kill?
But to my surprise, she let my head grate against her chest, soft fingers knotting through her jumper, crying, screaming, let it all out, I want to see you hurting darling, let everything go while I take it from you, our final reconciliation, my love.
             But then she let go of me and death held me, tightly, like she was suffocating me, like this was the first and last time she'd ever hold anyone, like murder was primal and she wouldn't shy away from its beckoning voice, like a siren, a mother, a ghost, with the blade to my neck, her final judgement on her tongue—
Let go of me, my love, for this is where I die.
Now.
Autumn. His favourite.
I always had one complaint with Kazuha— he was bad with goodbyes. For someone so poetic, it was a bit ironic even, but I hated how he simply left, walked away as though that was all there was to it. He never turned and smiled, waving back gently with a promise of return, however fake might it be.
Anybody would say he looked peaceful. He's poetry in a face. His lids unfold over his eyes like broken shutters, and it looks like a sigh has prised his mouth open. If you stare hard enough, it looks like he's breathing.
He didn't die like that. Death had to pull the shutters down. She had to draw his mouth shut, but the wind seized it again. She had to scrub the tears and saliva from her skin. Otherwise, it looked like a struggle. It wasn't. He'd given in and told me not to interfere.
As I stared at his coffin, his resting place, I couldn't help but feel repulsed at the muddy brown. It takes place in a church, like most things do. According to Kazuha, his mother is God-fearing, although I don't think he meant it in the conventional sense. Rose just dreads what God will do to her for all her sins, not that she ever made an attempt to repent. The woman is a filthy hypocrite like all cowards are. In turn, her son was taken from her.
Quel dommage.
Surprisingly, I didn't find tears to cry. I came for the same reason as everybody else—curiosity, guilt; not love though. Very few attended because everyone liked Kazuha. It was like he was a discarded newsprint, not a person.
I had cried all I could, wanted to, weeks ago. I knew what was coming— so did he. Neither of us cried when we accepted our fates because we had read it under the stars we made love under for so long. There wasn't guilt in him as he sinned, which made him so corrupt— and there wasn't regret in me as I turned away, which made me, oh, so pure.
I felt violated.
I don't mention it when I visit his grave, though. I hadn't come to hate him, he was wrong about that I'm afraid. I had come to see him for who he was— pure as a fire but feeding on impure things, and I prayed for hours, hands folded, knees scraping against cold, harsh marble as I cried, as I waited, only for the smallest of whispers to infiltrate my mind—
God is dead.
Should I have followed?
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there we go! idk if this is exactly what anon was expecting but when i was writing fluff, i suddenly wanted to add angst and it turned into this. thank you very much for your request though! as a treat, i'll also publish some cute kazuha stuff later lmao.
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cakers-2000 · 1 year
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Alright, I can't help but ask this: What would be Venti's and Zhongli's reaction to, after getting their Gnosis taken, their s/o disappears for about a week or so. Then they show back up, covered in blood and bruises, holding their Gnosis, and say "Am I not the best s/o ever, or what?" before passing out.
This request was put in before Raiden Shogun had been released so I really hope you don’t mind but I wanted to include her in the mix! She’s my favorite archon!
It's not exactly what you requested, I had some fun playing around with the idea but I hope the outcome is still enjoyed!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You get their Gnosis back
Beginning: When they lost their Gnosis, you were crushed. Whether they would admit it or not you knew that it brought them great pain not having a part of them anymore. You couldn’t bear seeing your lover in such mental anguish and so you set out. It took you a long while and you had covered your tracks, you were going out for a week at least to ‘complete a commission’ you had told them. But that was a lie. You were going to find their Gnosis and bring it back to them if it’s the last thing you do.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Venti:
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When you first left, he was overcome by the feeling of immense fear. Where had you gone? Were you lost somewhere? Had you decided to leave him? Or the worst thought yet, had you died from heinous injuries? He couldn’t handle losing someone so precious and dear to him, not again.
With those thoughts in the forefront of his mind, he set off to search the vast expanse of Mondstadt, with the help of Dvalin of course.
When he didn’t find you there he took to the streets of Liyue. He asked anyone he locked eyes with if they had seen you, checked every nook and cranny and even paid Zhongli a visit but his attempts always came up empty.
He was at a loss. With no idea what else to do, he went back home to Mondstadt.
And spent his days in Stormterror’s Lair with Dvalin at his side. His lyre no longer played the same tune, the strings no longer harmonized so perfectly and his voice no longer belted out the same jolious tone.
He was completely and utterly lost.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The day you came back to him, it was as if color had flooded back into his life.
You were hurt, battered and bruised, but you were okay. And you were back to him. The poor boy nearly knocked you to the ground when he lunged at you, wanting nothing more than to feel you in his embrace.
His hands fell to your face, frantically searching across your cheeks, gently rubbing his thumb across your bloodied and swollen lip.
“(Y/N)... What did you do?!”
His immense worry for you was clear as day in his voice and the way his eyes surveyed every inch of you.
You tried to give him the biggest smile you could muster and held your hands out to him, the smile on your face only growing.
“I got it back.”
He was full of so many emotions, they were swirling all around his mind. You were alive, but you were hurt something fierce. You were beaming such a bright smile towards him, but you were in so much pain, you couldn’t hide that fact from him.
The Gnosis in your hand was stained, a dull brown color took over the once vibrant features and there were a few stained splotches of blood, a much darker hue then the rest of the item.
“M-My Gnosis?... (Y/N) are you crazy!?”
Neither you nor himself expected such an outburst and he quickly placed a hand over his quivering lips. A frown fell to your lips and you slowly dropped your arms to your side, tightly squeezing onto the Gnosis he still hadn’t taken from your grasp. “I thought you’d be happy…”
He wrapped his arms around you tightly, pulling you to his chest as his tears stained his cheeks. “N-No I am happy! But you didn’t have to do that! I was so worried about you! I didn’t know where you went, if you were okay, I was so scared.” He was fighting for breath as he stuttered and stammered through the waterfall of tears escaping his eyes. “I love you so much please please please don’t ever do anything that dangerous again.”
Finally you understood. He was grateful, but putting yourself in his shoes, you would’ve been worried sick as well. Slowly you wrapped your arms around him and buried your face in his chest. “I love you Venti. I’m sorry… I’ll be careful from now on.” “P-Promise?”
You smiled and nuzzled his chest with your nose, gently pulling on the hem of his cape as a yes. “I swear on my life.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Zhongli
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When you first disappeared he had of course been worried but he tried not to work himself up. Perhaps you were just busy. You had your own life, your own little world that didn’t revolve around him and he respected that. But as time dragged on, and you still hadn’t graced him with your presence, a panic began to slowly overtake him. He tried everything to console himself but his mind kept running wild and he finally had had enough. Without a single word of goodbye to anyone Zhongli vanished practically into thin air.
He searched everywhere, used every last one of his connections through his numerous contracts and those that he called ‘friend’.
Xiao and all of the Adeptus.
All of his fellow archons (at least those he could get a hold of).
And even going so far as to ask the Fatui, or more Harbinger Childe to be exact. (Though the man wasn’t too pleased to see him after the ‘betrayal’ he had put him through’).
But all of his searches led nowhere. He left no stone unturned, no mountain unscaled. Yet despite all his efforts you were still nowhere to be seen.
He had almost given up hope. He had done everything he could think, searched every corner and exhausted all of his connections but he always came up empty handed. Perhaps this was his fate. Everyone he loved always left him eventually.
You were mortal and he was a god, he knew that you wouldn’t be with him forever and he would eventually have to say goodbye but he didn’t think he would have to say it so soon.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He had lost track of how long it had been since you went missing. Probably about a month, but he couldn’t be too sure. All of his days seemed to merge into one, spending all of his time holed up in the mountains, sitting atop the high mountain tops and reflecting, reminiscing and of course, trying to wash away the guilt that threatened to consume him. It was his fault you had gone. He wasn’t sure what he had done, but what other answer could there be? Perhaps you had been angry with him for giving away his gnosis, or perhaps you were angry about all of the secrets he had kept from you.
Whatever the case, he was convinced that it was his fault.
He had tried to immerse himself into his work during his free time (when he wasn’t finding solitary comfort on the mountains) and it was while walking through Liyue Harbor, on his way back to Wangsheng Funeral Parlor that his eyes caught a familiar sight.
That hair… and that figure… Could it be?
His thoughts were all but confirmed when you turned around, somehow seemingly aware of his presence and sprinted your way over to him. You wasted no time in crashing into him for a hug, squeezing him as tightly as your weak arms could manage.
He wasted no timing in wrapping you up in his embrace, resisting the urge to let a few tears spill. It was so unlike him to cry. He finally pushed you away when he was satisfied and gently grabbed your face in his hands.
Now that he could get a good look at you, his stomach churned. You were covered in scratches and bruises. Your clothes tattered in most places and a noticeable limp.
“(Y/N)... what happened?”
You gave him a smile, resting one hand atop his and used your other hand to reach into the pouch at your side, gently pulling out a small item. His gnosis. “Pretty good right?”
He grabbed the item from between your fingertips, evaluating the small little almost chess like piece. It was indeed his Gnosis, the real, genuine item.
“(Y-Y/N) why did you…?”
“Why? Because it’s yours. I know what you were thinking, I really do. But something this precious,” You slowly reached and and used your hands to clasp his together, slowly moving them to touch his chest as he clutched the Gnosis. “Something that’s a part of you, shouldn’t be given away so easily.” You tried to give him a playful smile, though your pain and fatigue was clearly showing through. “And I worked really hard to get this back so please.”
He knew you were right. His head was spinning. He was relieved, yet he was angry, yet he was also in a way… proud. He loved you so much, you meant the world to him and clearly that was why you had his head reeling like this.
He once again wrapped you in his embrace, slowly kissing the top of your head as his grip tightened around you even more, terrified that he would lose you again if he let go.
“I love you. Please… don’t ever scare me like that again.”
“I won’t… I love you too. Now can you please help me get to Baizhu? It’s a long way to walk with these battle scars.”
He smiled a bit at your continuous teasing tone and easily swept you off the ground and into his arms. “I’d be honored Angel.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Raiden Shogun:
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She honestly wasn’t all that concerned with her missing Gnosis. She had never really needed it before, why would she need it now. Though you understood where she was coming from you couldn’t just let things stand like this and so you packed up your things, preparing yourself for a long journey before leaving the place you called home and searching for the Gnosis.
When you didn’t return to Ei the next day (like you had promised) she practically turned the entire region upside down. Enlisting the help of her entire regimen, sending her puppet into the depths of Inazuma in an attempt to find you, even asking Miko (though it was more demanding with how frantic she was) help find you as well.
But none of these searches ever turned up anything. No evidence, no leads. It was as if you simply just vanished.
And she became lost. She had already lost so many loved ones. It took a lot for her to bring herself to accept her feelings for you, and now what? She was just too accept the fact that people enter and leave your life just like that? This pain… It was why she had been searching for a way to keep eternity in Inazuma.
It hurt.
So bad.
And she hated herself for allowing herself to fall victim to these foolish emotions once again. But she couldn’t shake you off her mind. Perhaps it would be best if she stayed in the Plane of Euthymia forever.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She hadn’t expected to see you again. Trying her best to rid her mind of you in an attempt to free herself from this crushing agony, but it never worked.
What with her staying in the Plane of Euthymia, never to come out again you had to enlist the help of Miko when you came back.
And she did. Not only for you, but for Ei as well.
She was sitting on the ground, seeming to be meditating(?) but she snapped her eyes open as soon as she sensed the presence of another being. Slowly she raised her head, a rather angry look on her features but it instantly softened when she saw that it was you standing in front of her.
She slowly got to her feet, hesitant to even believe what was right in front of her. Was it… really you? “(Y/N)?”
“Hi Ei… I guess I made you worry huh?”
You were covered in wounds from head to toe, your hair a messy, knotted mess. She quickly strutted her way towards you, starting to run as she got closer and engulfed you in her arms. It was rare for Ei to initiate any kind of affection and you took a moment to stand in shock. When you didn’t hug her back her grip on you tightened. There was an almost, scared feeling in her tight grip and so you hugged her back.
“I got your gnosis.”
She refused to move her head from your chest, both out of embarrassment to show you the tears streaking her face and out of fear that you would simply vanish again if she did. “You idiot.”
“Well that’s not very nice to call your hero.”
“Stop joking around!”
Her sudden shout surprised you and your body tensed a bit. She nuzzled her face into you, trying to get closer (though it wasn’t possible). “You selfish fool! I don’t need a gnosis! I never did before and I don’t now! How could you just put yourself in danger like that!? I was worried sick about you! I thought you were dead!”
You could finally hear the tiny sniffles that escaped her and for the first time, you truly understood how much you meant to her. Slowly you wrapped your arms around her a little tighter and ran your hands through her hair, trying to bring her any sense of comfort with your presence.
“I’m sorry Ei… I… I wasn’t thinking. I never meant to hurt you.”
“Please… don’t ever leave me again… please.”
Her voice sounded so broken and you felt a pang of guilt in your chest. You hadn’t expected this kind of reaction from her. You placed a gentle kiss to the top of her head before continuing to play with her hair. “I won’t Ei… I love you.”
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gabessquishytum · 3 months
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tw suicide mentioned
I read the ask you got about Hob working for a suicide hotline and answering Morpheus's call and loved it a lot and it made me think...what about some kind of modern reverse Sheherazade AU?
In the original tale (well, how I remember it), Sheherazade marries a king who is known for killing his wives on the morning following their wedding. Sheherazade doesn't want to die and has come up with a plan: she is a great storyteller and, in the evening, she would start telling her husband a story but would stop before the end. Her husband, desperate to know how the story goes, would thus allow her to live one more day. Only the next evening, she would not only finish the first story but also start a new one she would again stop before the end and would therefore be granted a new day of living, where she would again start a new story and so on and on...(for 1001 nights and by then the king has fallen in love and doesn't want to kill her anymore).
In this AU, I can see Hob, suicide hotline worker, receiving a call from M who is one step away from commiting suicide and who's asking him for a reason to live.
Hob is alarmed and, like said in the other ask, first makes sure M is not in immediate danger before he starts to list little things of life, often overlooked but who are actual wonders making life so much better in his eyes (chimneys,..)
But M still doesn't seem convinced. His wife is gone, along with his son. His life is over. There is nothing left for him... So Hob decides to tell him a tale - not one he needs to look too far to find, as it is his very own story - the story of when Hob himself hit rock-bottom. So "once upon a time, there was a man who thought his life was over. His wife had died, leaving him alone with their young son. His salary alone was not enough to pay the rent for their apartment and he was this close to being evicted, while the social services were threatening to take his kid away..." This is a grim start for a story - and had been a grim time for Hob - but the important part is that the story doesn't end there. Because, even then, Hob had been fiercely holding on to life. For his son, first, (for he couldn't abandon him!), before he realised it was still ok to live for himself and enjoy all the good things life had to offer.
Hobb tells M all of this. The ups and the downs and how "that man" in the story was able to hold on, fight, rely on friends and finally get better, find stability and even happiness.
The thing is, Hob doesn't have the time to finish his story. It wasn't planned; he simply went into a bit too much details and didn't realise how much time has passed. But at this point, he's already stayed on the phone for longer than he was supposed to (even crisis hotline volunteers have schedules, and the next one has been waiting his turn near Hob's phone for a few minutes already).
M seems a bit better than before, but Hob isn't reassured. Since M doesn't want to talk to another volunteer, Hob suggests M calls back on the next day (or the next week maybe?), and asks for him, so he can hear the happy end of his story. And M accepts, promise he won't do anything stupid until then. This is a small victory.
And M does call, and asks for Hob, and Hob tells the end of his story. M seems better than the first time Hob heard him, but let's be honest, he isn't doing too good either. Since M had seemed interested in his first story, Hob decides to start telling a second one, this time loosely based on something that happened to a friend. But then again, he hasn't got the time to finish it! So, again, Hob and Morpheus "fix an appointment" for the next day (week?).
And things go on and on like this, M (Morpheus as he tells Hob at some point) calls and listen to Hob stories, Hob never finishing them (he does end up doing it on purpose) and forcing Morpheus to stay alive and call again to hear it! And maybe Hob is not the best of storytellers, but he isn't anything close to bad either, and Morpheus is always eager to hear the tales he comes up with.
At first, the stories mostly rely on Hob's experiences, those of his friends or things he's heard on the news, in a bar,... but with time, he slowly comes up with some of his own ideas, starts to include elements of sci fi, of fantasy sometimes...
And somehow, Morpheus starts to participate in the storytelling, adding his own ideas to that big tale they are creating together - one of pirates, of princes and knights and of star crossed lovers who reunites under the moonlight... (Maybe Morpheus used to be a writer and Hob is the spark that gets him into creating again). At this point, Hob has given Morpheus his personal phone number and Morpheus as stopped talking about killing himself.
(and yes they have fallen in love along the way and end up together 😊)
Another amazig Ficlet in my inbox!!!! Yayayayay!! I love the idea of a modern take on Scheherazard, it's such a great way for these two in particular to get together. I also like the idea of Hob being a kind of crappy storyteller, but Dream WANTS to live and he's clinging onto this one thing, even though the stories aren't particularly good, it's enough to just get him through day after day. It really is the little things. And the stories are sometimes (deliberately) so bad, Dream just HAS to contribute and help Hob with the telling. It awakens the part of himself that he thought way already dead. Finding out that his creativity has survived gives him hope that the rest of him might survive, too.
And if he can survive, then he can properly live, can't he? With Hob’s help of course. It doesn't have to be easy. It's not MEANT to be easy! But Hob isn't going to let him give up, ever <3
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