Rest
Guess what? I've got more Jamil x reader for y'all.
You can also find this on ao3.
No warnings, just 866 words of kinda fluffy(?) caretaking stuff with gender-neutral reader.
At this point, you know Jamil’s schedule almost as well as he does. So, when you have the chance, you head to Scarabia’s kitchen, hoping to spend some time with Jamil while he and the other students prepare dinner.
However, when you enter, it takes you but a moment to notice Jamil’s uncharacteristic fumbling and the tired look in his eyes. The way Jamil’s chopping the vegetables has you worried about him cutting himself with that knife he’s usually so adept with, and it seems it’s only force of habit that’s keeping him on track.
You frown, and when your eyes meet Jamil’s, you can already see him put his guard up.
So he knows what state he is in, huh? And still, here he is.
It seems Jamil is reading your thoughts, all of him telling you drop it before any words are even said.
At least he still lets you lean in and give a quick kiss to his cheek in greeting.
“Hello love. Do you still have a lot on your agenda for today?” you ask, keeping your tone low for at least some semblance of privacy in the busy kitchen.
“Nothing I can’t handle,” is the response you get.
Of course.
It takes a little more pestering before Jamil actually answers your question. Your lips purse. That list is far too long to your liking.
You take a moment to think, juggling your own plans and to-do list against the urgency of the things Jamil mentioned.
“Will Kalim be eating from that?” you ask, pointing at the food Jamil is preparing.
“Yes.”
“Alright, I won’t be touching that one, then. I’ve gotta do a few things but I’ll be back when you’re done here.”
“Don’t,” Jamil says with a glare, clearly aware of what you’re thinking.
Yet even his disapproving look doesn’t have the usual weight behind it.
“Yes. I will,” you say firmly, even as your heart curls inwards with another bout of concern.
Really, when did he get so tired?
And how did you not notice it earlier?
You leave the kitchen before Jamil can protest further, hurrying through the dorm corridors to find Kalim.
Soon you have an enthusiastic – and concerned – supporter for your plans. You have Kalim point out a few reliable Scarabia students to help with a few of the most urgent matters Jamil mentioned – cleaning up the common areas, delivering some paperwork to Crowley, preparing some dorm-wide notices – while you see to Kalim getting his school supplies in order for the following day. You even recruit a couple of third years to help Kalim with his homework.
You’ll see to the rest tomorrow – after all, you do also have a boyfriend to look after.
Your conversation over dinner can hardly be called anything else than an argument – despite Kalim’s best attempts at acting as a moderating force between you two. It is very tempting to ask Kalim to tell Jamil to take the rest of the day off – it’s not like Jamil would be willing to openly disobey a direct order. Still, you really don’t need to remind Jamil of his position on top of everything else that you’re already doing more or less against his wishes.
Eventually, however, Jamil’s had a square meal, the most urgent things on his to-do list are being taken care of, and you’ve managed to drag him to his bed.
“I really wish you wouldn’t push yourself so hard,” you murmur, your arms wrapped tightly around Jamil. You’re telling yourself you really do just want to cuddle, to offer some respite to Jamil. Still, there might also be a part of you worried that if you were to let go, he’d just jump up and get back to working himself to the bone.
Yet, for all his protestations, just the fact that you’ve gotten Jamil to lay down with you speaks volumes of his current exhaustion.
“I can’t just leave my duties, albi. You know this.”
“Making yourself too indispensable, is what you’re doing,” you protest.
Oh, you know it’s not so simple. Not with his background, not with all the expectations and assumptions.
But sometimes you really wish it would be.
Jamil merely scoffs in response to your words.
Still, it is undeniable that he is slowly beginning to relax in your arms, slowly bringing his head closer to yours. His eyes are starting to flutter, too.
“I will still need to help Kalim with his homework, at the very least.”
You wonder who he is trying to convince more, you or himself.
“Amin and Khalil are helping him. They’re basically top of their classes, aren’t they? I’m sure they’ve got it.”
Still, Jamil frowns.
You sigh. He really is not letting go, is he?
“Do you want me to go supervise?” you ask.
And leave you, unsaid yet hanging there right after your words.
“Don’t,” Jamil eventually says, the word barely more than a breath.
It seems he has accepted his fate.
You softly caress Jamil’s hair, listening to his softening breathing.
And when you wake up, wholly unaware of having been lulled to sleep in the first place, it’s to the lightest of touches from Jamil’s fingers.
Tagging @diodellet @twstgo @crystallizsch @jamilvapologist @jamilsimpno69 as per request
If you'd like to be tagged for any future works, let me know!
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The Reluctance of Love Pt. 20
Guy guys guys, I'm really excited about this chapter.
Please enjoy, hopefully your patience is rewarded.
And then also my apologies for what's about to happen...
Orc Male x Half-Elf Male, Fated Mates, Forbidden Love, Slow Burn
Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19
Content Warnings: mention of mating, homophobia, fantasy racism.
All orcish is from orcishdictionary.com, created by Matt Vancil.
I was losing my sense of control around Altan. I started to notice how he was teasing me with slight touches as we walked next to each other and how when he would start to tell me a joke, his hand would suddenly be taking hold of my forearm and brushing his fingers down it familiarly. I was startled each time and my mind would be empty of any ability to speak. When we would stop to eat, I would find him sitting so close next to me that he was leaning against me and he would pass me his waterskin to share after he had drunk from it, his eyes like fire as he watched me drink from it.
I at first was ignorant of what he was doing, but when he set his bedroll closer and closer to me each night, I started to piece together that he was teasing me. He was purposefully crumbling my sense of resolve. And I didn’t know how to stop him now that it was starting. I liked it too much to tell him to stop. We had stopped two more nights where I stayed up to keep watch. It was a gift from my ancestors, but it did have a slow drain on my body and I was losing the discipline that I normally had.
Altan was about to become my ruin and I was terrified of it.
I had the feeling that we were close approaching my people - I could smell the faint waft of the smoke of the camps and hoped that we would make it before nightfall. And then I could get some sleep, get a hot meal in my stomach and regain my composure, maybe spend some time away from Altan to clear my head. Though Gruumsh be damned because I knew the moment I brought Altan into that camp that my family would throw us into a tent together and wouldn’t let us free until we finally mated. And I wouldn’t put it past any of my siblings or even my father to be sitting outside the tent listening in. I was mortified at the thought. Did they not know this was already more than I had ever bargained for?
I had a feeling that I was greatly outnumbered when it came to whether or not I should sleep with Altan as soon as we were safe - Altan’s vote was also likely against me.
I groaned inwardly and ran my hand through the hair that fell loose from my topknot and took a deep, strained breath and kept my feet walking. I hadn’t seen a sign of anyone pursuing us in the last two days and I dared to believe that we were safe, but I wasn’t ready to relax yet. My senses were focused as much as they could be on catching any signs of someone nearby: smells, sounds, sights - I was trained to find them through any means if I needed to.
“Drun!” Altan exclaimed excitedly, breaking my thoughts and I looked down to see him pointing. “Water!”
I followed his direction and saw a pool of clear blue water. It was being fed from the river that we had followed for a short time until our path strayed towards the Fields of the Dead where my family was. It was wide and looked to be deep enough for a swim, but not much deeper, its waters a pale sky blue that honestly looked inviting after the dust and sweat of days of travel on me.
“I’ve been longing to clean this stench off of me.” He said, lifting the black robe that he had been wearing when we ran away. “I’m going to burn this thing when we finally get to your home.”
I looked around, assessing the options. I was eager to be moving, but I also couldn’t deny that I was eager to wash off the sweat and stink on my body.
He grinned up at me, “It’s safe, yes? It will be fast.”
I did one final sweep and I nodded in assent.
He whooped and was suddenly breaking into a run. The image of him, dancing and careening with that golden light that seemed to follow him in any weather or condition, left me breathless and I found myself stumbling in pursuit of that light.
Our packs were left at the edge of the water and I saw that Altan had already flung his boots from his feet and he was shedding the dust-coated black robe that he had been wearing. I was caught where I was, my feet suddenly stone and unmoving, watching breathlessly and anticipating the visage I was about to be blessed with.
I saw golden brown skin that looked warm to the touch. Oh gods I was lost in the smooth, vastness of his back, his lithe frame that inspired sinful thoughts in my mind. He was standing at the pool’s edge, barefoot, and only wearing a pair of cream-colored braies. He stretched his arms out high and I caught the slight, gentle curve of his waist. The reflection of the water in front of him danced and rippled across his soft stomach and I pulled in my breath as my eyes wavered and followed it down to where his hips slanted downwards before I couldn’t see anymore.
He was sculpted elegantly and with sophistication where it counted - giving him a look of someone royal, fit and austere, but there was also the overwhelming softness that pervaded all of that. He was quite possibly the trap that would send me to damnation and I was prepared to descend to whatever depths I had to to get a taste of such temptation.
“Fuck.” I breathed. I was doomed. Damned. Fooled. Sinking deeper and deeper into this fever dream. Lordhovid may have had me burning for Altan, but even with it gone I still felt something deeper that was buried inside me that left a primal thirst for him. This wasn’t about lust anymore. It was a need to be reunited with something that belonged to me.
He whipped his gaze to me and his eyes were alight with something victorious and exultant as he caught my frozen stance. His lips teased into a smile and I caught the glint of the sharpness of his teeth as he tossed his curls behind him and he began to step into the water. His eyes were still on me, tempting me, pulling me.
He had wanted this. I was sure of it and I fell right into his game.
Was I upset by that, though? My brain was too unfocused to know what to think.
“Are you going to take a swim or not?” He called, the water was now to his waist - gods that waist why did it haunt me so - and his fingers were dancing over the surface, leaving gentle ripples that spread out and stretched towards me.
I don’t know how, but somehow I managed to clumsily step towards the water’s edge and I fumbled with my boots, my pants, my shirt until I was bare of anything except for my underclothes.
Altan’s eyes were locked on me, fiery and wanting. I returned the want in my gaze and I was suddenly being pulled to him. I was in the water, wading towards him. I could feel the coolness of the water on my skin, but I didn’t recognize it as I took each step closer to him.
“You temptor.” I breathed, disbelief in my voice.
He grinned. “Yes, me.” He winked and beckoned me closer with the slight curl of his finger. “Perhaps I wasn’t only wanting to wash myself.”
I stopped just short of a few feet and I held myself stock still. “What do you plan to do?” I couldn’t deny the slight fear I was feeling. I couldn’t deny what I was wanting - I wanted Altan, I wanted him, oh gods I needed him - but I still was scared of what was happening to me, happening to us and I was scared of where it was leading. My hands were caught in fists at my side and I struggled to hold his gaze as the reality of what our bodies were leading us towards was more clear. There was no question we were both breathing harder, but also holding our breath, holding back the urges our bodies and our hearts were pushing us towards. We were standing at the edge of a cliff, one more step and it would be the tipping point that would send us both over the edge to somewhere new and entirely unexplored.
He closed the distance, I saw his eyes take me in and I felt the bubbling sick sensation of shame. I was nothing like he deserved, I thought. I was brutish, I was scarred across all parts of my body from the spars I had as a child. There was a dent in my stomach from when I was gored by a boar during one of my hunts as a young boy, now only a white patch of hardened scars remained. I itched to put my hand over it, to hide it. My tusks suddenly felt too big, my skin felt rough and hideous. I wanted to hide.
But Altan’s eyes met mine and I wondered what he saw, because in his eyes I continued to see the wanting, the desire to be with me.
His hand was suddenly on my stomach, water was slipping free and trailing down from his hand and down my skin. I shivered, but held my gaze.
“Drun.” He breathed, he seemed to be almost out of breath as he pressed his hand further against my abdomen and then his other hand was reaching, raising up and caressing the side of my face.
I was lost in his golden gaze. His eyes - now heavy and weighed with desire - were like pools of warmth - reminding me of the dizzying dance of our campfires. I couldn’t look away. My breath was catching as I felt his hand on my stomach trail up towards my chest. I was caught in his grasp. I was nothing more than a marionette, and he controlled the strings.
“Altan.” My voice hitched and I was embarrassed at how apparently aroused I was. I felt the heat between my legs and I was grateful the water covered anything I didn’t want him to see.
His eyes crinkled as he grinned.
He pulled back and turned away from me. “I’m so sorry, love, I couldn’t help myself. I think I’ve teased you enough, my dear.” He dunked his head under the water and I saw bubbles on the surface.
What? My mind stuttered.
He breached the water and flung his hair back and he was now standing, staring at me, dripping wet.
What the fuck was this man doing to me?
I shook my head, “Enough teasing.” I waded towards him and reached for him, snatching his arm and pulling him towards me. He was weightless as he eagerly let himself be pulled into my arms. Suddenly my arms were around him, his bare chest, wet and dripping pressed against me. His golden eyes looked at me with such intense want. My one arm was around his waist and I let out a gasp as I took in everything I was feeling, everything I was seeing.
Gods, I could have died at that moment.
“What will you have from me?” I gasped, my eyes searching his.
“If we’re lucky, I will have all of you.” He said, his voice teasing, but then he sobered and his eyes fell on my lips. “But for now, I will have a kiss.”
I bit back the refusal. Orcs do not kiss each other; tusks against tusks were uncomfortable and so it was only ever done during angry sexual encounters as a way to show dominance - some of my siblings had chipped their tusks from tussles with their mates that way. But Altan was not an orc, and as my attention fell to his lips, I wondered if they would feel as soft as they seemed.
Suddenly I was carrying him, I had lifted him and held him up to match my gaze and his hand was suddenly caught in my hair, pulling my topknot free and his lips were on mine. I felt his legs wrap around my waist and his hips rocked forward and I swear I saw stars. I wasn’t sure if I was standing anymore or caught underwater, I was too lost in feeling everything, savoring this moment. His lips, his lips were so soft, yet so earnest as he tried to pull himself closer to me, even though we were chest to chest and I was holding him against me. We were eager to draw each other into one another’s space, there was no such thing as too close - too much. He pulled back and ran a finger down one of my tusks before placing a gentle kiss on it. I shivered. His face was so close to mine, I could feel his breath and smell the earthy clean smell from the pool. The hand still caught around the back of my head pulled me close to him. His eyes closed and we were kissing again. He was good at it and I was losing myself to it. His tongue was suddenly in my mouth and I could taste him. He tasted sweet, warm and my breath hitched again as I heard a gentle whimper escape his lips. His fingers curled and pulled my hair tight.
“Drunrag.” His voice was nothing more than a whispery breath. “I love you.” His lips brushed against mine as he spoke and I felt the words. Felt them and knew them to be true. That feeling that he was some other part of me that I needed to be whole thrummed with confirmation that yes, he was mine. He was mine and he would complete me.
“Nod merad.” I growled. “Nod djenifad. Nod sanitrash.” I slipped into orcish and my voice came out low and desperate. “Na dovid dra ek na kamiam weltha dra. Dra duwam. Nod raebukam.” Every possible confession I could make, I whispered against his lips and I drank the way he clung to me. I held him close and I poured everything I wanted him to know into my words. “Na wukka tompa zak dra.”
He sighed and pulled himself back, taking in the sight of me. “Are you going to tell me what any of that means?”
I smiled, and shook my head. “Not tonight, no.”
He feigned disappointment then ran his finger down my tusk. “You will teach me?”
I nodded. “Yes. Once you learn to behave. You have been teasing me these last two days.”
He at least had the decency to look coy. “I’m sorry, my love. You…” He chewed on his bottom lip. “You have no idea how hard it is to be next to someone as handsome as you and not be able to do or say anything.”
I jerked, “Handsome?”
He narrowed his eyes. “You do not think you are handsome?”
I shook my head, “Not even by orc standards. I’m rather average.” I couldn’t begin to wonder what those not of my kind see in me.
His jaw hung low and he vehemently shook his head. “False. You are lying to me. There is no one as handsome as you. My Drun.” He said, his finger was still stroking my tusk again and I was struggling to stay focused. “Perhaps you really were made for me.” He said, wistful.
I shook my head. “You have strange ideas.” I ignored the pulsing deep inside me that confirmed what Altan was saying was true. I slowly lowered him back down to the ground, the water rippled around us. “We should be moving on soon if we want to get to my father’s camp before it is late. Wash up quickly.”
I knew it was abrupt, but if Altan continued to tease me with his golden aura, I would have found myself on top of him and taking things further well into the next day. I waded away from him and dunked my head into the water and held myself there.
Gruumsh please keep me strong. And promise me that I will have sleep tonight or else I will break.
Altan looked reluctant to wear the black robe when we stepped out of the water - I made it a point to not stare at the way his now wet braies clung to his hips and thighs and…everything else. I reached for my shirt and held it out to him. “Here, take it until you’re fully dry.”
It was a big mistake to offer it, because as soon as I saw Altan wearing my tunic, there was a dangerous sense of possessiveness in me. My mate, wearing my shirt. It was far too large for him, but it also looked right for him to be wearing it. The inner voice in my head purred with delight at the sight.
We were relaxed on the last leg of our journey. I - now lacking a shirt - and Altan carrying our boots in his hands as we both walked barefoot. Something eased between us and we found each other trading soft gazes at each other and I found myself drifting closer to him just so I could brush against him. He hummed next to me and I closed my eyes and let my feet guide me as I listened to the melody he crafted.
At the end, I opened my eyes and found his eyes on me.
“Your voice is beautiful.” I said, and I leaned down to kiss him. I admittedly enjoyed kissing - I don’t believe anyone else could have made it as nice as Altan did.
He hummed in approval as I found my hands holding his waist and pulled him towards me, my arms slid around him perfectly and I wondered if maybe we really were created for one another. I leaned down, cupping his face with my hands and letting the light of his golden love warm me inside and through me. I pressed my forehead to his, holding each other still for a moment. And then my lips found his and we savored the taste of each other. He was sweet and lovely and I loved him. The word I had skirted around, tested and wondered until finally I knew it's truth. I loved him completely.
I didn’t smell the humans until it was too late.
I heard the quick sharp thwip of an arrow just before I felt the hard impact on my thigh and suddenly a dull, throbbing pain. I grunted, stepped back and looked down to see an arrow lodged in my leg.
“Drun!” Altan yelled, his hands clinging to me. We both whipped around to see at the crest of a hill three men, all of them pointing arrows at us.
“They found us.” He breathed.
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Alright, you definitely should have listened to the village elders this time. Wandering too deep into the forest was a bad idea. They could have been more specific about what “too deep” meant though.
All you wanted to do was see if there were any valuable herbs in the area. You had heard rumors that if you went slightly beyond the usual reach of the villagers, a little to the west, you would find ingredients for most potential of healing potions. You didn’t think heeding the advice would cost you much; it was supposed to be only a little further, right? But which way was west again…
Before you knew it, you had gotten lost. Of course, forests always looked somewhat the same, but after 20 years of living in the same village, you came to recognize the areas you had always played, worked, and relaxed in. A tree that bent a little to the left; that boulder that looked like a fist without a thumb; the lightning-struck tree trunk, too heavy to be moved, blocking what used to be a path. You knew when you were near your home by the atmosphere alone.
And now you recognized nothing you saw.
It wasn’t dark yet - wouldn’t be for a long time - but you were still getting the shivers of being outside at night. This part of the forest was creepy. You didn’t know how else to describe it - threatening? It felt like something was out to get you. Or for that matter, anyone foolish enough to disturb the peace of whatever dwelled inside.
You stopped. Turned to look back — had you seen wrong? You must have — and turned back ahead. There was... It was like there was a line drawn on the ground. A border.
You looked to your right, then left. No, it really was… as strange as it seemed, it was clearly a huge circle. You were standing just outside it.
And everything inside was dead.
The grass was sickly, pale yellow, almost white, like after a scorching hot summer with too little rain. Trees gray and bare, bark flaking, crispy leaves lying sadly on the ground. Thousands of insect carcasses everywhere, a couple of dead birds and — oh no — a lone rabbit. All completely lifeless. How could this be?
You took a step back. Was this maybe… The work of magic? A fiendish warlock wielding dark sorcery?
You didn’t know much about magic; there weren’t many capable of using it in your tiny village, and the mages you knew were neither malicious nor the tiniest bit adventurous with it. But it was the only explanation you could come up with. Nature couldn’t do this on its own.
You felt a rush of excitement at the thought. Magic had always fascinated you. With nobody around to teach the craft, you had abandoned the idea of pursuing it years ago, but… It was exhilarating seeing its impact. Foul as this magic was, it drew you in - and if nothing inside was alive, it couldn’t do you any harm either. You had come so far; why not investigate a little?
You had barely taken two steps on the lifeless grass when you heard a soft voice plead: “Don’t come closer.”
You froze. Had there been a person around? Was it a bandit? Or, wait, maybe they could help you find your way home-
“Please get away from me,” asked the stranger again, even more desperate this time. Their voice was getting raspier, breaking towards the end of the sentence. Whoever it was must have been either sick or grievously injured. Perhaps you would have to help them more than they could help you.
You squinted your eyes, and finally caught a glimpse of a figure behind two trees.
He looked around your age. But not in such good health, as you had suspected. He was holding onto the tree, hunching, and the distance between you wasn't enough to hide the tremble of his hands or the hollowness in his eyes.
"Please, " he repeated, each word weaker yet more fearful than the last. "I can only bring misery. You must leave while you still can!"
His fear was contagious. You couldn't fight the shiver running along your spine nor the cold sweat erching your brow. It was like even the Sun knew better than to approach this self-proclaimed harbinger.
But you had always been too curious for your own good, much to your mother's chagrin. Weren't you an apprentice in the art of medicine? Wasn't this stranger in clear need of help? You couldn't just leave him alone to rot in his miserable circle of decay.
You forced a smile - sort of - and took a step closer. The stranger grabbed his face, screamed, and collapsed on his knees. You saw white and felt a strong gust of wind knock you off your feet.
And then there was nothing.
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