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#and my schools library has it
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*tries to organize my thoughts*
*remembers i'm not in school and therefore beholden to neither heaven nor hell nor any man's grading system*
*joyously shredding & tossing all my carefully arranged 3x5 mental notecards into the air like so much beige confetti. raising my arms in victory, cheering raucously until i accidentally inhale bits of homemade confetti*
(*coughing up itty bits of paper like a cat evicting a hairball with a firm understanding of tenants' rights*) wait wat happens next
#i marie kondoed my thoughts and *i* feel great. but now my stream-of-consciousness has escaped containment#so many innocent bystanders at stake#every time i try to organize my thoughts i run out of plastic bins and have to make a trip to the container store where i get even more dis#racted so. you can't just hand me THIS brain and NO catalogue OR library classification system#and expect me to single-handedly sort through all this nonsense? bad form but fucking form not in my job description#aNYways. formal education sure did a FUCKING NUMBER on us huh#(a number i measure not in gpa or dollars of student debt.#but in the number of therapy sessions & medical debt it will take to recover.)#seriously folks. our education systems are...innately traumatizing for a huge number of students. and we NEED to address this.#the fact that it is culturally common for adults to have anxiety nightmares about school/exams...even decades later?#that is not cute. it is Alarming.#no one--much less entire generations--should be spending their developmental years in an environment of chronic stress & pressure & strain#and yet that is the reality for millions and millions of pre-teen and teenage and young adult students#this isn't healthy and it serves and empowers NO ONE#...except of course the many exploitative educational & financial & debt-collecting institutions thriving from the current balance of power#and of course it's a nefarious and powerful way to sabotage/erase the middle class#which billionaires and the wealth-inequality creators they finance couldn't possibly have any noteworthy interest in whatsoever#it's not like there's an elite group of people with huge financial incentives to drain/steal resources from the masses...#anyways sorry for going all Conspiracy Theory on you.#obviously the billionaires who control the vast majority of our resources and news and political campaign funding#are not tied to every single itty bitty social issue and i'm a silly billy to imply it#please tell elon musk to ignore this tweet i am so subservient and acquiescent#mr musky u r so good at inheriting slavery-built mining fortunes & buying other people's companies#& building rocket ships & fancy cars that do NOT explode/catch fire & also NOT running billion dollar companies into the ground#mr musky u r so talented genius billionaire playboy with 10 kids and ex-wives who find you creepy af babe u r basically iron man
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mioakem · 3 months
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Me when someone has the balls to call me a new fan
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britomart · 3 months
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affirmations for a nineteen year old
i am an adult
high schoolers do not scare me
i am an adult
high schoolers cannot hurt me
i am an adult
high schoolers mean nothing to me
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cerise-grenadine · 2 months
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older Snape fans, what are your oldest works like?
i’m curious 🤭
found the old display book where i stored my second (and longest)(and unfinished) fanfic and i’ll have you know the highlight was Severus stabbing a dragon in the throat with a poisoned dagger to save Hogwarts, in front of everyone 🙌🏻
he was able to jump on the dragon because he had ✨angel wings✨ black covered in ebony feathers, of course 🖤
and every chapter had deep poetic introductory quotes bc i was a dramatic teenager.
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toastingpencils37 · 5 months
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I've actually been thinking about how the Spinjitzu Brothers series could end (if it doesn't/hasn't been cancelled).
And seriously, how would they end it for kids? Because we all know it won't end well, but the majority of us on Tumblr and other social media platforms either teenagers or adults.
But the target audience is kids. And even if they watched the first few seasons (because I'm pretty sure some kids haven't if they just can't find it), do they truly understand yet that Wu and Garmadon won't find a cure to the Venom? (Which very much depends on the kid)
So to them, it may be completely unexpected for Wu and Garmadon to fail. While older aged fans see it coming, and know it'll be bad.
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alliluyevas · 3 months
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got into at least one grad school, lads. woot woot.
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thebluestbluewords · 2 months
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re-reading Mal’s Spellbook
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Evie should be meaner, actually??? But also, a) Jay has totally fine handwriting in the spellbook, the font they chose for his writing is way more legible than the one they chose for Mal, and b) is this what the kids are mean about these days???
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everyneji · 2 months
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Looking for a good read about or by sapphic women or gay/bi men?
Look no further! I gave all these books 4 or 5 stars when I read them. 
Lesbian and bisexual women (subject and author): 
Two or three things I know for sure by Dorothy Allison (lesbian memoir)
My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness by Kabi Nagata (graphic novel, lesbian memoir)
The Sealed Letter by Emma Donahue (historic fiction, bisexual woman and lesbian wlw relationship)
Juliet Takes a Breath by Gabi Rivera (ya contemporary, lesbian mc)
Fried Green Tomatoes at The Whistlestop Cafe by Fannie Flagg (historic fiction, butch/femme wlw)
Annie on my Mind by Nancy Garden (ya lesbian classic)
The Well of Loneliness by Radclyffe Hall (historic fiction, lesbian classic)
The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid (historic fiction, bisexual woman and lesbian wlw relationship)
Marbles: Mania, Depression, Michelangelo and Me by Ellen Forney (graphic novel, memoir- even though it’s mainly about bipolar disorder mostly she is bisexual and it’s mentioned in the novel)
Lesbian or Bisexual Woman author (not necessarily an LGBT subject): 
Mrs. Dalloway, To the Lighthouse and A Room of One’s Own all by Virginia Woolf (bisexual author)
Frankenstein by Mary Shelley (bisexual author)
The Little Stranger by Sarah Waters (lesbian author)
The Yellow Wallpaper (and other stories) by Charlotte Perkins Gilman (bisexual author)
The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls by Emilie Autumn (bisexual author)
Passing by Nella Larsen (bisexual author)
Transgender Topics: 
Female Husbands: A Trans History by Jen Manion (LGBT history- only concerns relationships between historic AFAB couples and AFAB people who lived as men for many reasons- wider career opportunities and being able to marry a woman were the two most common reasons cited across all stories chronicled) 
Gay Men and Bisexual Men (subject and/or author): 
The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller (historic fiction, Greek Myths)
Notes of a Native Son by James Baldwin (gay author, essays on race in America)
Boy meets Boy by David Leviathan (ya contemporary mlm romance)
If We were Villains by M. L. Rio  (ya, dark academia, mystery)
The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee (historic fiction, bisexual mlm, ya) The two sequels also have more lgbt characters. 
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echo-s-land · 1 month
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That moment where you remember a random place from your childhood you'll probably never go back to
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fictionadventurer · 3 months
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"It looked like a good day for setting fence posts, and my mother said so while taking the biscuits from the oven. 'Some morning early, when I can get away, I want you to come with me along the edge of the hill in the wood-lot," she continued. "When the shadows of the trees begin to come down the slope, as the sun rises you feel the turning of the earth. You feel the whole globe under your feet rolling into the sunlight. . . . That's something I found one morning when I was driving the calves to pasture. I've been saving it up for you. I wonder if you've seen a more beautiful dawn in any of the places you've been.'
On my fingers I count the dawns I have seen--memorable, just in being dawns. Sleepy-eyed dawn from the Paris markets after a night of dancing; mist dawn against which I was just to late to see the minarets of Constantinople--all the fault of the stupid stewardess who didn't wake me in time; one startling moment of color on the hills around the Dead Sea before they went colorless in merciless heat; sudden dawn like a clap of light over the freezing-cold Syrian desert. Four dawns in twenty years. No, I do not know dawns as my mother does."
-- Rose Wilder Lane, "A Place in the Country" (1925)
#little house#rose wilder lane#laura ingalls wilder#a little house sampler#i dove into the book seriously this morning#intended to read just the first couple of pieces and kept reading 'just one more' until i've got about 2/3 read#most of laura's pieces are familiar from her farm columns#though there's a couple of early versions of little house stories that show a lot of her voice did get through there#rose's are fascinating#i can't quite wrap my head around her#sometimes she'll seem neurotic and restless and judgey and sophisticated and a bit pretentious#and then she writes some of the most beautiful nostalgic pieces#showing so much love of home and family and the simple joys of life#this piece might be my favorite so far because it grapples with those two sides#after four years as a foreign correspondent she's back at home in mansfield#and she has a new appreciation for her parents and the work they do and the life they've built#now that she's had her adventures and is no longer a restless teen looking to get away from rural poverty#even in the other pieces it's fascinating how much love of her family comes through when you know about the difficult relationships#i should share some quotes from the piece about mary when i get the chance#(also i'm very upset that she didn't write down the story of why she and her parents never read the last book in the school library)#(you don't end with a sequel hook and just leave me hanging ms. lane!)#anyway i love the whole essay that this is from and there are other worthwhile quotes#but i like how this one captures the 'noticing beauty while doing farm work' side of laura that i've come to think of as her trademark
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hisuiregionontop · 20 days
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being comfortable in occasionally referencing a silly little interest you have, then watching it slowly devolve into making your entire life about it is so fun yet heartbreaking bc now nobody wants to listen to me but I NEED to talk about my stupid little show
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jeremy-lemon · 7 months
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Forcing myself to get into studyblr aesthetics and romanticizing my education when I finally go to college in the hopes of making sure I actually study and do the work cuz then I'll think it's pretty and makes me cool or something
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legolasghosty · 8 days
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🐑 Alternate Universe- Magic, Mutual Pining, Demonic possession, Furbies
Oh dear...
Alex is attending one of the most prestigious magic academies in the country, on the orders of his parents of course. Even though Laiz Fier Academy reviles even the name of the only type of magic he's ever been good at. His parents swore he'd find another specialty here, and he'd let himself believe them, like the idiot he is. He's scraping by in classes. Barely. At least he's managed to make a couple of friends and figure out how to sneak into the library stacks to find books that will actually help him hone his skills.
However, Alex realizes now there's a reason why it's not recommended to do your first summoning alone. Because, while he does manage to summon a demon, it doesn't exactly end up in the silvery urn he'd laid in the center of the pentagram.
So now he has a talking, demonic Furby to hide. One that, despite its too-wide eyes and disconcertingly smooth voice, Alex thinks he might be developing feelings for.
(Fake fic ask game!)
#legolas tag#legolas ask#julie and the phantoms#willex#so okay in my head#Alex is super good at a specific branch of magic#which usually would be awesome since he was born into a high power magical family#unfortunately the thing he's good at is demonic magic#which is.... unpopular to put it lightly#his parents send him away to school in the hopes that he'll latch onto something else with so many options to explore#that doesn't happen#he meets Luke and Julie (both music magic) and Reggie (animal magic)#and they all become friends#and they all figure out how to sneak into the stacks together#where Alex finds all the hidden away books on demonic magic#cause it's not actually Evil like people think#just... darker in source than most#Alex may fall down a bit of a spiral about his abilities and worth though#and ends up attempting to summon an actual demon to help him learn magic#but... well he must have messed up the binding part of the ceremony?#Cause he does get a demonic magic coach#but said coach (Willie) goes into the Furby Reggie got him as a prank birthday present#and well... Alex knows he should figure out how to undo it and send Willie back to Hell or wherever#but then he has to rush to hide him first before he gets caught#and then they end up chatting a fair amount over the next few days#because Alex is a world class insomniac and Willie just doesn't sleep#but Alex is kept too busy with classes and stuff to go back to the library to find the stuff to sort out the mess he's made#and if Willie knows how to do it he isn't sharing#(he totally knows but it's his first time in the human world in ages and Alex is nice and kinda cute tbh so...)#and...they become friends? And also develop massive crushes on each other?
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munamania · 26 days
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trying to find somewhere to sit and do work on this stupid fucking campus has me feeling like the joker
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burnsopale · 9 months
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Childermass & Segundus - it sounds very well
So one day the York Society of Magicians receives a new member, and Childermass is like okay, no big deal, those guys never do anything interesting anyway.
But then, right, then the new guy and one of the old guys writes to Mr Norrell and asks if they may have the pleasure of waiting on him sometime, and Mr Norrell is like "No" but Childermass is like "Actually yes" because he's intrigued, or because the cards have told him something is about to happen, or because Mr Norrell is years overdue to go to London and revive English magic and Childermass figures this might jostle him into doing something. We don't know what exactly happened, but it seems likely that it was Childermass who made the visit possible, because the idea of Mr Norrell ever wanting visitors is impossible to accept.
So these two theoretical magicians come to Hurtfew Abbey, and Childermass is in the library waiting for the visit to end and Norrell to show up and tell him what the men wanted, but instead, when the door opens, there they are, the visitors, having been invited to see the library and what the fuck did they say to old Gilbert to make that happen?? Not that it matters, they're not gonna remember anything by the time they get home, the enchantments will see to that.
Mr Norrell introduces Childermass, and the new guy gives him a look like Childermass facinates him, but Childermass is used to that. He figures he'll just hang out until they leave.
Except the new guy, who is a dark, timid-looking little man named John Segundus, keeps looking around like he can sense the spells lighting the room, keeps looking out the window like he's not happy with the orientation of the walls, keeps blinking like the magic is making him a little dizzy. John Segundus is clearly magic sensitive. No one in the York Society is magic sensitive, Childermass knows that for a fact. This is suddenly intriguing.
So Childermass ends up keeping half an eye on Mr Segundus as he explores, until Mr Segundus notices, sensitive as he is, and their eyes meet. Childermass reads longing, need, delight and confusion on the man's face, but Childermass is without pity; by the time Mr Segundus gets home, he won't remember what he's seen. It doesn't matter; no one in the York Society ever did anything interesting anyway.
But then later, the letter from Dr Foxcastle comes, and Mr Norrell is Upset and Offended, and Childermass realises that the Revival is about to start at last. And because Mr Norrell is fearful and Childermass is pitiless, they send a lawyer with their demands.
Mr Robinson the lawyer returns to Hurtfew a little perplexed. Oh yes, they all signed, just like you said they would, every one of them ... except ... except one. Childermass is a little surprised to discover that the timid little man had a spine after all. Mr Norrell wants Mr Robinson to go back and demand the last signature, but Childermass says "Wait". And at this point, we do not know what he is thinking. Perhaps he simply thinks that they will need someone to write to London once the miracle has been done, and Mr Segundus is more likely to be amiable if he has not just been deprived of his calling. But then, Mr Honeyfoot, the other visitor, would definitely be happy to write, even though he WILL be deprived of that same calling. Perhaps, Childermass thinks that this is a strangely fateful twist, that the one member of the York Society who has an actual talent for magic is the one person who refused to give it up. Maybe he remembers a time when he himself was full of longing for magic, when he could sense it all around him but was unable to grasp it, when he too would get dizzy in Mr Norrell's library. He may not feel pity, but he can be intrigued. He convinces Mr Norrell to let Mr Segundus be.
Childermass laughs inside when John Segundus doesn't recognise him outside the cathedral, but then startles when the man almost recalls after all. He is not supposed to be able to break the enchantment. Thankfully, the moment passes, and after the magic is done, Mr Segundus turns out to be exactly as easy to manipulate as Childermass thought he would be. The polite ones are easy, especially when they are full of need and longing, and keep looking at Childermass like he has the answers they are searching for. Maybe Childermass uses a little bit of magic to persuade the man to write to London, or maybe he just smiles, and waits, and lets John Segundus come to him of his own accord.
Childermass returns to Hurtfew Abbey and says to his master "Go to London. Go now." and because Childermass knows about these things, they go.
And nine years pass in London.
But occasionally during those nine years, Childermass turns his attention to York, to see what timid little John Segundus is up to. Mostly it's not much.
Until Jonathan Strange happens. That he happens at all is rather extraordinary, but how interesting that he should come to seek Mr Norrell on the advice of John Segundus? For sure there are many people with an affinity for magic in England, but how many of them are magicians? Too few, thinks Childermass. How likely is it that two of them should meet at random? He wonders if this is another fated twist.
So he continues to keep half an eye on York, just in case Mr Segundus should discover how to actually grasp the magic that surrounds him. But when Strange returns from the war in Spain, his conversation tells Childermass that even with the learning, even with actual spells to hand, their timid little man in York cannot make the magic work.
John Segundus begins taking on pupils. Childermass keeps it from Mr Norrell. Childermass has been the instrument of many a theoretical magician's destruction, Childermass reads the hearts of men and feels no pity for them, and yet Childermass keeps John Segundus hidden from Mr Norrell. Maybe, just maybe, John Childermass is beginning to feel a little bit of pity after all. He was once the one longing to master the powers that often overpowered him. He too loves magic so much, enough to endure servitude and secrecy to be near it.
But then John Segundus wants to start a school. Well, if he is going to be that silly, then Childermass cannot help him. Mr Norrell finds out, Mr Norrell panics, and he dispatches Childermass to York to put a stop to this evil plan. Business as usual in other words.
Childermass sits quite comfortably on the steps of Starecross when John Segundus comes home. Childermass delivers his message.
"You know me, Sir," he says, completely forgetting that while he has always had half an eye on John Segundus, John Segundus has not seen Childermass for nine years. Maybe, just maybe, Childermass is a little embarrassed at his mistake. But the errand is completed, and Mr Segundus is easy to manipulate, because he is so very gentle and polite.
Childermass may or may not have noticed that he has been manipulated in turn, because he, who has no pity for any man, lets Mr Segundus know that he regrets that the school cannot be, and he is willing to do what he can to keep Mr Segundus' dream from failing entirely. Although of course, he knows that a regular school is not at all the same as a school of magic.
Childermass knows what it's like to long, but he has found, if not the answers to his questions, then at least the tools by which to hunt them down. He can do the magic.
Then Mr Strange and Mr Norrell quarrel.
And then Lady Pole tries to shoot Mr Norrel. The lady walks with one foot in Faerie and one in London, and for a while, so does Childermass. Something is not right with the lady, but Mr Norrell won't tell him what magic he employed to bring her back from the dead. She'll be sent away somewhere where Childermass will have no chance to discover the truth. Unless of course he decides where she goes. Perhaps for instance to one whom Childermass knows will feel the Faerie winds blowing about the lady, someone who will be able to carry on the search for the truth, whether he knows that he's doing Childermass' work or not. Mr Segundus is easy to manipulate.
Childermass recommends to Sir Walter that he send his wife to Starecross in Yorkshire. How fortuitous that the master of that hall has just decided to open a madhouse there. Surely the visions that gave him the idea were entirely coincidental.
Mr Norrell and Childermass quarrel.
Jonathan Strange Returns magic to England. The Raven King returns to England and rewrites his book.
Mr Norrell and Mr Strange disappear into Faerie.
Suddenly, Childermass is the most experienced magician in England. No one has read as much, has practiced as much, or knows the spells he knows.
But he thinks that there is one man who will not be far behind him in achieving similar results. And maybe Childermass wonders sometimes if it was not all meant to be this way, that it was fate, that he himself was meant to come out on the other side as a student of the two great modern magicians of the age, and that he was meant to bring with him, sheltered under his wing, a dark, timid little man with an extraordinary sensitivity to magic. The books may be gone, but through his instruments, the Raven King has made sure that the new generation of magicians are both capable of and eager to read the magic written on the sky. It will take sensitive men, full of longing, and isn't it fortuitous then, that all those years ago, in the library at Hurtfew Abbey, Childermass recognised another like himself in John Segundus, and decided to keep half an eye on him.
#Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell#John Childermass#John Segundus#My little theory#This is based on the idea that the prophecy is actually the Raven King's plan to return magic to England#In which case Childermass must be the one Uskglass chose to spearhead the Restoration after Strange and Norrell affected the Return#We so often talk about how Segundus sees Childermass#But I am facinated by the other side of JohnSquared#Because it is interesting that Segundus was allowed to not sign the agreement when Childermass MUST HAVE KNOWN that he was the only man#in the York Society who might actually do practical magic someday#(Probably it's not as black and white as that but let's say so for our purposes here)#It certainly wasn't Norrell who agreed to let Segundus go - it was definitely Childermass' decision#And in the chapter called Starecross Childermass says “I turned a blind eye” - not “we” or “Mr Norrell” - but “I”; he's been watching#It seems to me that he is been protecting Mr Segundus from Mr Norrell for years - in little ways here and there#Mostly just by making sure Segundus didn't come to Norrell's attention#And then he expresses his regret that the school cannot be!#That's at least a halfpennyworth of pity Sir! You're not supposed to have that for adult or child!#I guess he has pity for baby birds#But they do have that thing in common (along with Vinculus) that they have an affinity for magic#But Childermass has access to the library at Hurtfew while Segundus and Vinculus only get scraps#And Childermass is allowed to do magic while the other two have to wait for the Return before they can control it#And I figure that maybe he can find in himself a little bit of pity for someone in that familiar situation#Not to mention that - being mostly a good man - Childermass is not immune - I think - to Segundus' kind and gentle nature#JohnSquared#Btw I haven't completed my current reread so apologies if I've forgotten something or gotten something wrong#You see how the details disappear towards the end :P#I also owe some of this to the Tor.com reread of JSAMN which is worth checking out for some great observations!
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