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inkskinned · 1 month

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before you know about women, you hear that you do not need to love the man, just that you need to love him through his manhood. which is to say you have seen the future painted in lamb's blood over your eyes - how your mother shoots you a look about your father's inability to cook right. how your aunt holds her wineglass and says i'm gonna kill em. men, right! how your best friend bickers with her boyfriend, how she says i can't help it. i come back to him.

you learn: men are gonna cheat. men aren't going to listen when you're talking, because you're nagging. men think emotions are stupid. they think your life is vapid and your hobbies are embarrassing. men will slam things, but that's because men are allowed to be angry. if you get loud, you're hysterical. if a man gets loud - well, men are animals, men are dogs, men can't control their hands or their eyes or their bodies. they're going to make a snide comment about you in the locker room, about your body, about how you're so fucking annoying. you're going to give him kids, and he will give you the money for the kids, and you're going to be running the house 24/7 - but he gets to relax after a long day, because his job is stressful. the man is on stage, and is a comedian, and says "women!"

and you are supposed to love that. you are supposed to love men through how horrible they are to you - because that's what women do. that's what good women do. wife material. your father even told you once - it'll make sense when you're older. it was like staring down a very lonely tunnel.

it feels like something's caught in your throat, but it's all you know, so. it's okay that you see sex as a necessary tool, a sort of okay-enough ritual to keep him happy, even though he doesn't seem to care about happiness as-applied-to you. it is relationship upkeep. it is kissing him and smiling even though he didn't brush his teeth. it is getting on your knees and looking up and holding back a sigh because he barely holds you as you panic through the night. it's not like the sex is bad and you do like feeling wanted. and besides! he's a man! like... they're another species. you'll never be able to actually communicate, right. he isn't listening.

you just don't get it. you don't feel that sense of i'm gonna climb him like a tree. mostly it just feels fucking exhausting. you play the part perfectly. you smile and nod and are "effortlessly" charming. and it's fine! it's alright! you even love him, if you're looking. you could have good life, and a good family, and perfectly happy.

in the late night you google: am i broken. you google i'm not attracted to my husband. you google i get turned on by books but not by him. you google how to get better in bed.

the first time he yells at you, it almost feels like blankness. like - of course this is happening. this is always how it was going to end up. men get angry, and they yell, and you sit there in silence.

you mention it to your friend - just the once - while you're drunk. she shrugs and says it's like that with me too, i just try to forget and move on. men are always gonna hear what they want to. pick your battles and say sorry even though he's in the wrong. you play solitaire online for a month. you go to your therapist appointment and preach about how you're both so in love.

after all, you have a future to want. nobody lied about it - how many instagram posts say marriage is hard. say real love takes work. say we fight like cats and dogs but the best part is that we always make up. how many of your friends say happy anniversary to the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. if you really loved him - loved yourself too - you'd accept that men are just different from you.

the first time she kisses you, it's on a dare at a party. something large and terrifying whips through your body. you wake up sweating from dreams where her mouth is encrusted with pearls and you pick them off one by one with your teeth. fuck. you sit at the computer and your almost-finished game of sim city. you think about your potential perfect life and your potential future family. you google am i gay quiz with your little hands shaking.

you delete each letter slowly. you don't need to love him. you just need to keep going.

#warm up #writeblr #this is also about being ace btw #my identity has slowly shifted over time and maybe if everyone is REAL cool i'll talk bout it #bc it's complicated and nuanced. but this is like #trying to warn u that if you find it “relationship upkeep” to have sex with ur partner #and don't actually enjoy it or seek it for urself. u might just not be attracted to them.#which is fine ! ace ppl can be perfectly happy in any relationship they feel good in!#but also i wasn't as straight as i had expected!#> the first time i saw dick i was like. huh. oh okay that's fine i guess #> the first time i saw pussy i was like. WAIT ACTUALLY HANG ON I GET IT #i just assumed sex wasn't all it was cracked up to be ya know #but also like. btw? this IS NOT saying ''u might be gay not ace''#bc tbh i'm grey ace/demisexual #it's saying u might not be into ur partner. explore urself & ur feelings. turn inward.#TAKE THIS IN THE MANNER IT WAS MEANT> GENTLE AND KIND #AND NOT IN A WEIRD INTERNET WAY PLEASE #bc the truth is that there ARE ppl who are gay who assume that they just ''don't like'' sex #and ace ppl who might need a different partner w/different needs #and i would have REALLY needed to hear ''check in w/urself about if u actually like sex''#WAY EARILIER in my life. but nobody said anything bc they assume if ur having sex. u like it.#not just the actual act of sex. not once ur turned on. do you ACTUALLY like it. or is it a burden?#even if ur gay. check w/urself. maybe ur more ace than u realized. in which case. ADDITIONAL FLAG BB #i love collecting my flags. i'm at like 354 at this point #but also btw this is about how toxic relationships are SO normalized that u can be in one #and have everyone around u being like ''THATS JUST MEN LOL''

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ashersanity · 4 months

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Heyy saw you were a Remy enthusiast from your last post….any yandere headcannons for Remy where you become his house spouse and not his cow? Would like to include horse riding and he sees that as practice for riding him in bed but its ok if youre not comfy with it

The worst fucking spouse known to mankind.

Scratch that, Bailey would probably be worse.

Unrelated but since you asked so nicely, how could I not oblige, polite anon? Kissing you on the cheek just for that and the sick idea. (Platonically)

still going at it, asher?

YANDERE! REMY

content warning! dub-con, mentions of violence, murder, blood, marking, baby trapping, manipulative and possessive behaviour, you know the drill already.

remy and pc are gender neutral as always unless explicitly stated otherwise. mentions of wren.

“Thought I’d let you get away? No, dear. Now it’s time to make it up to me.”

yandere type : obsessive, possessive, overprotective

Yan!Remy who had set their sights on you the second they saw you, pretty little thing that you are, just meant to be owned and pampered, under their care at the farm. Young and dumb that you were, greeting you over with a trained smile on their face, others at the riding lesson gaping from what they were seeing. Remy smiling? That never happened, but the farmer didn’t want to give the wrong impression after all, coax you in possibly, already envisioning their future with you with a wedding band around your finger. Their cute spouse that’d devote themselves to them. Just as things should be, right?

Yan! Remy who knows they got you right they want you as you laugh at their jokes and antics, lips curled up into an uncharacteristically soft smile, there to match your own. Normally cold demeanour though they’re willing to keep up the facade if it means having you in their grasp, in arms reach. Goes as most marriages do, weeks or maybe months of courting, chatting away and getting to know each other. Next thing you know, the farmer is proposing, expensive ring in their gloved hand that they offer to you. Poor you really, not knowing what you’re getting yourself into as you gladly accept with a flush on your face. Oh, aren’t you in for something..

Yan! Remy who drops the facade the second you get all settled in their ranch, carpeted floors adorned by old furniture passed down from the farmer’s family, bedroom already made for you. How odd, they had everything done over before you even had to ask, knowing your particular taste for certain things, how you cuddle in your sleep, placing a bunch of cushioned pillows around the bed. How you can’t stand the scent of smoke, carefully replacing their gas stove with an electric one. You don’t.. exactly remember telling Remy any of those things, but the memory could’ve slipped from your mind, starting to second guess things. Must’ve been your imagination then.

Yan! Remy who isolates you from everyone else in your life, not feeling a shred of remorse or guilt from it. Oh, your mom wants to pay a visit? Too bad, looks like the weather isn’t suitable for such things today, not giving you a chance to even glance out the window to be really sure if they’re telling the truth. Why did your long time friend suddenly stop coming? The farmer wouldn’t possibly know, handful of notes placed on the table, your so-called ‘friend’ eyeing the stack of cash nervously, knowing what this means. Sometimes, they couldn’t be bothered with the entire money thing, simply turn your pesky surroundings into cattle, not like they’ll ever come to you again if their dumb, foggy cow mind barely remembers you.

Yan! Remy who turns you into their little obedient housewife regardless of gender, dutifully waiting for their return everyday, clasped hands folded in your lap. Since you don’t have anyone else to look forward to anymore, what’s the point in letting you outside either? Not like they don’t provide everything else for you, whatever you need is at home, no matter how much you think there is something lacking in your burnt out marriage. Loves coming back from a long, exhausting day of working at the fields, glistening sweat over their forehead with their usually slicked back, brown hair tumbling over their face, utterly exhausted. Finds you in the bedroom, looking bored as always, pressing an affectionate kiss to your shoulder. Quickly turns into greedily sucking at your neck, your soft whimpers working their way up into whines with your arm looped around their frame. Nothing better than having a tight hole or cock to sink into/onto after working so hard.

Yan! Remy who’s only allowing you outside for their personal horse riding lessons, instructing you to hold onto them tightly as they lead you on the animal. Maybe they do give you permission from time to time to actually ride one yourself with their eyes constantly watching your every move, of course. Makes sure to guide your movements, their gaze fixated on the way your figure bounces on the horse like.. like you’re actually riding something. Doesn’t want you to accidentally injure yourself so the farmer is keeping you in place, gloved hands placed on your hips. The same ones that bounce you on their cock/strap-on, throughly enjoying your fucked dumb face as you ride them, squeaking mattress creaking under your combined weights.

Yan! Remy who completely loses their shit if they ever catch their right-hand assistant hitting on you, soft brown eyes checking you out, a wicked grin on Wren’s face, shamelessly flirting with their boss’s spouse right in front of the farmer. By all means, you can only hope that Remy doesn’t kill the bastard right then and there, never having really formally introduced the two of you due to the possible result that might’ve brought on. Obviously, they were right, the smuggler unable to keep their dirty hands to themselves when it comes to anything belonging to Remy. Expect the roughest fucking of your life once you get back to the barn, roughly tugging at your wrist and throwing you onto the bed. You’re lucky if your little friend that you like to play blackjack with even comes back to have another game. Don’t expect Wren to though.

Yan! Remy who’s dead set on either making you carry their offspring or the other way around, carry yours. Doesn’t matter if you can’t be impregnated or they can’t impregnate you, regardless they’re figuring a way out with this. Sharing the same genitals? Don’t care, doesn’t matter, the farmer’s mind is long gone, a mile away in their own sick delusion, thinking how adorable you’d look with your tummy full of their cum or stuffed with their fat strap-on deep inside your aching hole. Regardless, Remy’s rutting into you like a hung bull when it’s mating season or making you rut into them, willing legs spread wide open. If you two manage a baby? Great, absolutely fucking great, all the more reason for you to stay with them since you wouldn’t wanna leave your poor kid with divorced parents, huh?

Yan! Remy who’s now achieved the ideal life with you, or so they think in their head. Heat of their skin pressed against yours as you’re deep into your slumber, unaware of those green eyes on you, intently watching your sleeping form. Chest steadily rising up and down with every breath taken, tracing a slim finger over the shirt of your pajamas, arm looped around your waist, gripping possessively. This is it, this is what Remy wanted all along, to have their beautiful spouse laying next to them in bed, intimately close together as if they didn’t shut you off from the world. That’s what a farmer does though, keeps their cherished prize to themselves, locked away. Locked away from prying eyes and nosy bastards, theirs alone. That’s right.. You’re theirs now. Remy’s perfect little spouse.

Masterlist

To - @mellowwillowy, for being a Remy fucker.

Yandere! Bailey part 2 might be coming next, don’t know.

[END OF POST]

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