#and my mom won't do anything without him. so I'm like. fucking great. so glad I've spent like $700 to get here for nothing.

[beginningofwonderland]

Stay Focused - San

Pairing: university student y/n x office worker San

Genre: smut with plot (MINORS DNI!)

Word Count: 12.5k (I don't know what happened)

Summary: Your mother insists on getting you a tutor for your studies. You want to resist until you meet Choi San, your tutor. His sweet talk and good looks make you focus on anything but your studies and you do everything to finally catch his attention in the same way.

Warnings: San is a few years older (5 to be exact), some nipple play, fingering, some orgasm denial, lots of dirty talk, blowjob (face-fucking leaning), protected sex, mirror sex

The reader in this is so horny omg. Just straight up trash for San (relatable). Also very long build-up.

"Good is not enough in this family," your mother repeats to you for what feels like the 100th time. „Your grades have to be exceptional if you want to work in my business."

Your eyes roll to the back of your head as you change your phone to the other hand to stir your pasta around. You just told her about your recent test results which of course are not satisfactory to her.

The problem is that you are actually doing pretty good. You never missed or failed a class, you passed all your courses with at least a good score and you had even fulfilled additional classes to broaden the spectrum of your studies. But just like she said: Good is not enough for her. She won't shut up about your grades until you reach 100% in all of your classes - which is basically impossible, especially in your field of study.

"Do you even still want to work in the family business?" your mother asks you provokingly. And the problem is, you do. You really do. Your mother is the CEO of a big pharmacy company and ever since you were a kid you followed her interest in chemistry. You even chose your pharmacy major without her influence. But now that you are taking the same path as her, she is all in your business about being the perfect little mini-her.

"I do, mom. I'm working hard on it, I promise. The next exam is in four weeks and I already started studying."

She makes a huffing sound before answering you: "You said that the last three times as well and still didn't get a full score. You should really get a tutor."

"Mom! I'm the best in my class. Why should I get a tutor? I'm doing great!" You are glad you're only talking to her on the phone so that she doesn't see the way your hands clasps over your face. She can't be serious with you. Getting a tutor with your grades is just embarrassing.

"But not great enough. You know what? The son of a close business partner recently started working at the company. He graduated a few years ago with an honour's degree and seems to be a very promising young man. I'll ask him to tutor you."

Your cheeks start to heat up just at the thought of how embarrassing the whole thing will be for you. Getting a tutor that worked for your mother is literally the worst case scenario. You feel like a high school student that doesn't pay attention in school and now gets scolded for it.

"I do not need a tutor, mom." You state once again but her mind is already made up.

"I'll give him your number and he will contact you. And don't you dare be rude to him, his father is very important for our business!"

You can't believe her words. Since when have you ever been rude to anyone she introduced you to? Your mother ends the call before you can protest any more.

Angrily, you fish a single spaghetti out of your pot to taste it. It's perfectly cooked when you munch on it in annoyance.

--------------------------------

This is Choi San.

Your mother told me you needed tutoring on your pharmacy classes and gave me your schedule.

I can teach you Tuesday and Thursday afternoon from 6PM. Would that work for you?

You fall back onto bed with a frustrated groan as you read the messages. She really asked him. Now you have no choice but agree to him tutoring you because your mother would kill you otherwise.

Typing a reply you take a deep breath. This will be such a waste of time for the both of you.

Hello! Tuesdays and Thursdays are good. Thank you so much.

You hate how pathetic you sound. What are you even thanking him for? You don't want him to tutor you and he was definitely forced by your mother so why even play pretend?

No problem. We can use meeting room 117 at the company since I reserved it for us. I'll see you on Tuesday.

You dread Tuesday every single day from now on. When it finally arrives you feel ridiculous as you enter the large building of your mother's company. You have been here countless times but you never thought you would get tutor lessons here.

Even worse is that your mother made you go greet her beforehand. She specifically texted you to visit her office before the appointment with Mr. Choi. You walk past her assistant with a polite greeting and finally enter her office.

The luxurious room sat at the top floor of the building with a nice view over the city. Sometimes you forget how successful her company actually is. It can be quiet intimidating.

"There you are," she greets you with a mere look up from a bunch of files on her desk. "I hope you prepared well for your tutoring session. Please don't embarrass yourself in front of Mr. Choi. His father is an important business partner of mine and he himself seems to be a very promising employee. I don't want my own daughter to make him think worse of the company."

Of course she only worries about the company. The idea that this is incredibly humiliating for her own daughter does not even cross her mind.

"Hello, mom. Of course I prepared well, I always do. I won't disappoint you."

She nods at you, satisfied with your answer before looking at her watch. "Then you should head to the meeting room. He is always ridiculously early for meetings so he's probably waiting for you already."

Great, you think to yourself. You hoped you would be able to grab a coffee beforehand.

"I'll go right away. Bye, mom."

You walk to the elevator with heavy steps and check your own watch. It's still fifteen minutes until 6PM so there's plenty of time to grab a coffee before, no matter what your mother might say.

Entering the elevator you select the floor of the meeting room with the plan to walk to the coffee pantry first. Half-way down, the elevator stops on a different floor. When the doors open you almost choke on your polite "Hello" as your eyes take in the person in front of you.

Walking into the elevator is easily the most attractive man you have ever seen in your life. Dressed in a tight pair of dark pants and a perfectly fitted dress-shirt the handsome stranger repeats your greeting with a small bow and a mind-numbingly attractive smile. His eyes carry a little glimmer even behind the round pair of glasses he wears and as he pushes back his black hair you feel like swooning.

You have to keep yourself from staring when he takes his place in the elevator and both of you wait for it to move. Just now you realize he hasn't pushed a button, which means he is heading to the same floor as you. Out of the corner of your eyes you can't help but watch him.

He is a few inches taller than you but appears even bigger due to his broad frame. You wonder where that man even finds clothes that fit his stature with his broad shoulders and tiny waist. He checks his most definitely expensive wrist watch before looking at the display counting down the floors.

When the elevator doors open with a ding, you almost jolt. You were so caught up in thinking about how good he looks that you didn't even notice arriving on your floor. The handsome man gestures for you to step out first with another deadly smile in your direction.

"Thank you," you barely breath out as you step out of the elevator in front of him. It feels like the air outside is ten degrees colder. Without looking back you head to the pantry of the floor. You need a coffee even more than before now that you can only think of that guy from the elevator. There is no way you can concentrate on tutoring now without some caffeine.

The benefit of being the CEO's daughter is having a card with unlimited access to the coffee machines so you happily press the button for a black coffee. At the familiar buzzing sound you can finally relax and take a deep breath. No man has ever made you so flustered before just by existing. Maybe you should visit the office more often if that was the kind of employees your mother hired.

Taking your coffee into one hand and your study bag into the other you turn around to head to the meeting room. Caught up deeply in your thoughts you almost run head first into the person behind you.

"Woah, careful there. You don't want to spill that coffee do you?" his voice is smooth like honey, with a joking tone to it. You blink up at him a few times before you find your words.

"I'm sorry. I was distracted."

The man from the elevator smiles at you and you feel your body warming up from the inside out.

"Don't worry, nothing happened." He looks you up and down quickly before holding eye contact once again.

"Excuse the question, but do you happen to be director Kim's daughter?"

You stare at him in confusion. "Yes. Yes, I am. How did you know?"

He moves past you, grabbing a cup from the pantry himself and turning on the coffee machine before he answers:

"You share her eyes. But more importantly, your bag has a pin of the pharmacy faculty of the university and because I'm supposed to meet her daughter for tutoring on this floor in - " he checks his watch again: "exactly 12 minutes, I figured it might be you."

You are impressed. His looks are already enough to have your eyes turn into hearts but there is probably nothing that makes a man more attractive to you than his wit. But what hits you even more than that is the fact that THIS was your tutor.

I take everything back mom, I love tutoring. Sign me up for another year.

"Well, you figured correctly," you reply weakly, at a loss for words. "Nice to meet you Mr. Choi."

You put your cup on the pantry table to reach your hand out to him. He takes it with a smile.

"Nice to meet you too, Miss Kim. I was going to get the two of us some coffee but as I can see you already helped yourself."

Oh, so he's a gentleman as well.

"Next time you should let me take care of that," you said showing him your free access card. "I happen to own the key to infinite coffee."

"Does the caffeine addiction come for free with that as well?" You chuckle at his joke.

"I think it's the requirement to get it in the first place."

"Well then I will happily let you get us coffee next time."

Next time, you think. The reality that you will be seeing this man on a regular basis hits you.

For a second the two of you just smile at each other. Then Mr. Choi notices that his coffee is done and he grabs the cup.

"Let's head to the meeting room then. I wouldn't want to waste your time."

You sir, can waste my time any day of the week, you think to yourself but obviously keep silent as you follow him to the room.

He holds the door open for you and you settle down onto one of the meeting chairs. You always hated these things. They are designed to make you sit upright and therefore terribly uncomfortable. You desperately want to fold one of your legs under yourself like you always do at home but you have a good image to keep. After taking a seat across from you he puts his bag onto the table and looks at you expectantly.

"So what topics exactly are you struggling with? It's been a while for me but I'm sure I can help."

"To be honest with you, I don't really need help on anything."

San raises his eyebrows behind the round glasses on his nose. "What do you mean?"

You sigh, not knowing how to explain this dilemma best. "My mother made me get a tutor because she believes I need better grades. In fact I'm the best of my year with perfect attendance and an average of 95%. She says that everything under 100% is not enough which is why she must have thought of you as a tutor."

San just stares at you with a peculiar look on his face. He looks almost impressed from your words.

"I knew director Kim could be quite strict but I had never imagined that extent. I'm sorry she made you do this, a 95% average is very impressive in the pharmacy field."

"Says someone with a perfect 100% graduation," you snap back, a little more spiteful than you want to. But San doesn't seem to take it the wrong way. Instead he chuckles in response. The sound sends shivers down your spine, his voice dipping way lower than you had expected it could.

"Trust me, that wasn't all brains. I only know my way around people." You don't doubt that last statement for even a second.

"Maybe instead of teaching I can give you some tips around the university. That would probably help you more."

Now you are interested.

"What kind of tips for example?" You lean forward resting an elbow on the table as you pick your cup of coffee up for a sip. It's still burning hot but you pretend you didn't just burn your tongue as you set it back down.

"Does Mr. Han still do the medicine lectures? He's been using the same exam template for years. Pharmacy students are just to selfish to share the results with the younger students. I'll look for my old exams later to give them to you."

Your mouth opens in awe. Everyone from the year above had told you Mr Han's exams were the hardest and it turns out they were just lying to intimidate you. The competition was real.

"These fuckers," you mumble beneath your breath but judging by his chuckle, San heard you just fine.

"Sorry," you excuse your language immediately with a small nod. He is still an employee under your mother and she told you explicitly to act well around him. Hiding your uneasiness you go for another scolding sip of coffee.

"Don't worry, darling. I won't go complaining to your mother about your language. You don't need to be her perfect little girl for me."

You almost choke on your coffee and have to force the liquid down your throat with an effort. You really wish they didn't but his words made your insides squirm. The amount of money you'd pay him to call you 'darling' again is surely an embarrassing amount. But good little girl also didn't sound too bad from his mouth.

"Thanks," you mumble, not knowing what else to say and stare onto the table to hide your flushing face. If you look at him with those slutty, round glasses right now, you're sure you'll combust.

You don't notice, but Mr. Choi eyes you up and down carefully before he resumes speaking. He smiles at your flustered state that obviously doesn't escape his sharp senses. Seeing your pretty face flush from only these few words, satisfies him deeply.

"Then how about that toxicology class? If Mr. Lim still teaches it, I know a few ways to get on his good side. He always picks favourites and it shows in the grades."

Mr. Choi continues listing off ways to better your grades around your professors. You can't help but be impressed. Not only is he obviously very intelligent but also great with people. Maybe what kept you from exceeding in your studies was your rather reserved nature in class.

"How about this," Mr. Choi finally proposes after teaching you some of his ways. "I'll get you my old notes and exams and with that you will surely ace all your tests. Then we can meet up for these tutoring sessions and while you study in peace I can get some work done. This way your mother is happy and we both profit from the situation."

You nod without hesitation. "That sounds like a great idea. Thank you so much, Mr. Choi."

He groans at your words, a sound that makes you react in a way you don't even want to put into words.

"Please don't call me Mr. Choi when we're alone that makes me feel terribly old. My name is San."

"Aren't you older than me though?" you ask back carefully. It doesn't feel right to call him by his first name.

"If 5 years are old to you?" he inquires with a slight teasing edge to his voice. You don't know if he's flirting with you or if you are just becoming a witness to this man's effortless social skills.

Truthfully, you are 22 and 5 years more don't seem that much to you. Still his way with words and the confident aura around him make him seem more mature.

"I didn't say old. Just older."

He rolls his eyes at your stubbornness, leisurely resting one of his elbows on the backrest behind him. "Just call me San, darling."

There it is again. That word single-handedly turns you into a blushing mess within seconds and you find yourself agreeing without another thought.

"Okay, San."

A satisfied smile spreads on his face and you marvel at the dimples that form on his cheeks. "Much better. Than how about you do some studying and I'll get some work done now?"

"Sounds good," you reply and start taking out your classwork. He could've told you to start stripping right now and you would've agreed without question. Damn you are down bad for him already...

It is a weird situation at first. You are used to studying around strangers in the library, but sitting alone in a room with San makes it hard to focus on your upcoming test. His eyes keep flicking from his work laptop across to you and you don't know if he's interest in the topic you're studying or you.

You yourself on the other hand are surely interested in him and you can't help but steal a few glances at him working diligently at his laptop every now and then. Even typing on his keyboard looks ridiculously hot on him with the way his slender fingers run over the keys.

After about two hours of you trying to keep your eyes on your notes San finally closes his laptop and stares at you until you reciprocate his look.

"I guess two hours is enough to make your mother think you studied, right?" he asks with one corner of his mouth slightly lifted.

"Sure," you respond weakly.

"I'll look for my old tests and will bring them on Thursday," he goes on as he stands up to pack up his laptop and bag. You also start gathering your study books.

"Thank you again," you answer lamely. But the promise of already seeing him again on Thursday excites you.

When you proceed to grab your now empty coffee cup his hands react quickly as he snatches it from you.

"Don't worry about that, I'll put those away," he's leaning over the table now, smiling at you through slightly closed eyes and you can't help but be entranced by his looks. "You should make sure to get home before it's dark outside. Want you to get home safely."

"Don't worry about me, I'll manage."

"Oh but I won't if something happens to you and your mother finds out you were last seen with me," he replies cockily as you two finally go to the door.

You have to chuckle at his remark. "Good to know I'm not the only one terrified of her."

"Everyone is terrified of her," he mumbles under his breath but you are already reaching the coffee pantry - aka your cue to go home.

"Can we use the same room on Thursday?" you ask as you stop in front of him. You make sure to brush your hair behind your ear in a nonchalant manner, knowing it shows your good angles.

"Yeah, I already booked it," San replies easily, eyes fixing yours from above. "But let's meet at the coffee machine here. I want to at least take advantage of that free coffee if I give you all my study secrets."

He winks at you at the last part of the sentence and it makes your insides twirl like on a rollercoaster. You give him a small smile through fluttering lashes. "So that's what you meant with a win-win situation: Endless coffee. Well it looks like I don't have a choice but to be your personal coffee machine."

You want to punch yourself right after that sentence leaves your mouth. How much more stupid could you possibly sound? Personal coffee machine. Saying you wanted to be his personal slut would have been less embarrassing.

But San doesn't seem to mind your awkward response. "Sounds good to me," he replies smoothly. "Then have a good ride home and I'll see you on Thursday."

"Until Thursday," you reply before you can say something stupid again and stroll off to the elevator with a small wave.

As soon as the doors close behind you, your head thumps against the steel wall. There is no way you will get any studying done with that man in the same room as you.

---------------------

Your next few meetings with San go on smoothly. You are always on time but he is still earlier than you, waiting for you at the coffee machine. You get both of you a coffee - sometimes two if you feel like it - and you two get to work in a comfortable silence sitting opposite to each other in the meeting room.

After San brought you his old exams you can now prepare exactly what you need to know for your next tests. But no matter how hard you try to focus on your studies, your eyes keep wandering from your books up to the handsome man working on his laptop.

You soon notice his seemingly endless closet full of tailored dressing shirts and perfectly matching pants. He always looks immaculate, not a single wrinkle on his shirt and his hair always neatly combed back. Even his skin is flawless to the point that you start questioning if Choi San might be a figment of your imagination.

Just like his outer appearance, his manners are immaculate. Like you already noticed on your first meeting, he is a sweet talker. Always knowing the right thing to say and never letting your conversation end in awkwardness.

Whenever he feels like taking a break you notice him starting to talk to you. At first he asks how your studies are going. Then he wanders off to the professors you two shared and how he managed to ace all his classes.

Your whole attention is glued to his lips. For one thing because the information he can provide you with is crucial to your academic development but much more importantly because his lips are the prettiest thing you have ever seen. They look so plump and smooth while he's talking that your mind can't help but wander to the other things he might be able to do with them besides talking.

If at your first meeting you were down bad for Choi San, one month later you felt like you were drowning and he was the last bit of oxygen left on earth. You wanted him with a passion that you didn't even know you were capable of.

But you couldn't have him. There was too much at stake. He still worked for your mother and if you made a move on him that he wouldn't reciprocate you would risk the eternal hate of the only woman that still held control over your life. And so far San hadn't shown any sign of feeling the same way about you that you did for him.

„You're stuck on that?" San suddenly asks you over the page of biochemistry that you've been staring at for a solid five minutes. You haven't spared a single thought on the topic in front of you. Your mind is only occupied by the thought of San leaning over you on the meeting chair, your chin in between his slender fingers as he smirks down at you. You hate him for having this effect on you when you so desperately need to focus on your studies.

You really need to get your thoughts together.

„Oh no I was just getting carried away," you answer, looking at him pointedly with a sly smile.

You tried little attacks like this on him before. A casual pull down of your shirt, stretching your arms to make it ride up over your stomach or even looking directly at his lips as he spoke. But no matter how daring you get you can never catch San slipping.

His eyes stay on yours only whenever he looks at you, his tone is always polite and never goes farther than a casual joke. You simply can't draw a single reaction from him and it drives you insane.

„Do you need a small break? We could get another coffee," he offers helpfully.

I don't want a damn coffee I want you to fuck me on this meeting table.

"I'd love to, but I'm already way too warm today. I fear the AC can't fight against the heat anymore."

It has gotten exponentially hotter over the past days and you can feel it even inside the modern building.

"You're right, it's quite hot in here," San says with a disappointed face. "What a shame we don't have iced coffee. We should get some on Tuesday!"

His eyes light up in excitement and this little sliver of pure happiness doesn't escape you. It's surprising how cute he can be with that shamelessly hot body of his.

"Do you know a place near?" You ask to drag on the conversation. You yourself know at least 3 cafés in the area that sell iced coffee but you want San to tell you a place. Maybe his favourite. So that you can go and think of him.

"Yes, I can show you!" he answers proudly.

"I'd love to." You send him a gentle smile with long eye contact before both of you look back at your work.

But your concentration withers away like the dying plant in the corner of the room when Choi San begins undoing the buttons of his shirt sleeves.

You know you shouldn't but your eyes immediately watch as his slender fingers start neatly folding up his sleeves. The muscles in his underarms dance beneath his skin as inch after inch of skin gets revealed.

You feel like a medieval man salivating over exposed ankles as you stare at San's arms. The veins are protruding in the heat and his honey skin is glistening under the bland neon lights.

Your heartbeat quickens and it's mostly because it feels like you finally found San slipping. Him rolling up his sleeves is like a crack in his perfect mask and you are certain that he wouldn't do it anywhere else in the company. He only does this because he is with you.

"Shoot," he suddenly exclaims and draws your attention up to his face. You catch the small pout that appears on his lips before he looks back at you.

"What is it?" you ask him.

"I forgot to book the meeting room for Tuesday and now everything is blocked. There is a work event next week. I should've booked it earlier."

"Oh," you simply reply. This is even more confusing. You don't believe that San would ever forget such an important event. Is he trying to get rid of you?

"Don't worry about it, darling." His smirk and the nickname has you fighting for air. "I'll find us something else."

You can only nod at him with a smile. Maybe he isn't trying to get rid of you.

The rest of your study/work time flies by as your mind thinks of all the possible meeting places you and San could have for Tuesday. You feel like a highschool girl dreaming about dates with your crush but you don't care. The man that is supposed to be tutoring you just makes your heart speed up in a way that you haven't experienced ever before.

When your meeting time comes to an end and San starts packing up his stuff he simply says: "How about we meet at my place next time? I don't like working in cafés it's always so crowded and noisy. And I have coffee too."

You snap up at him in surprise at the proposal. "Sure," you reply as nonchalantly as you can at the prospect of going to Choi San's apartment. Alone. With him.

"I can pick you up here with my car after work. So you don't have any extra way."

"That sounds good," you reply with a small smile, trying not to sound too excited.

"Then until next week," he says with one of his handsome smiles and you say your goodbyes before you can turn even redder in his presence.

When you walk onto the elevator this time and the door closes behind you, your heart is pounding into your throat. As the realization sets in that you will be alone with Choi San in his apartment a satisfied smile set over your face. Oh you will use that chance for sure.

----------------------

You spend the entire day preparing for your tutor appointment with San. Something deep inside you tells you that this behaviour is ridiculous but you push this inner voice back down as you play your favourite music and get ready.

You wear your hair in light waves and put on makeup to bring out your eyes but not look overly done up. Your outfit was a tricky matter but you settled on a classic pleated skirt and a tight long-sleeve. Everything about your appearance today lands on the thin line between innocent and suggestive and you are satisfied when you twirl around in front of the mirror.

All you want is one small reaction out of the man that you have thirsted for over the past weeks. If Choi San even so much as lets his eyes scan you up and down, your mission would be successful. Lost in your task of getting ready you almost forget to actually pack your study books before heading to your mothers company.

You two agreed on San picking you up at the company's garage. So you are taking down the elevator to the parking floor and checking yourself one last time in your phone camera before stepping into the parking lot.

Having no idea how his car looks like you pull up your chat with San, wanting to ask him where to go. But before you can type your message a calm voice calls you over from across the parking lot.

"Y/n!"

You turn around to a sight that makes your heart flutter. San is leaning onto his car, a chic black Mercedes. His white dress shirt has one button unbuttoned and his sleeves are rolled up again. His feet are crossed over each other leisurely as he waits for you to come over.

Walking up to him you have to try real hard to look casual and not like your nerves are taking over you with the impending situation of being in the same car as San for an undefined amount of time. Your heart is beating already and he hasn't even called you any nicknames yet.

"Hello, San. You're not wearing glasses today?" you notice in surprise and hope it doesn't come off as too attentive.

"Sometimes I wear contacts," he replies smoothly. "It's a styling decision."

While you love the glasses on San seeing him without has a different charm to it. Almost like he is showing you a different side of him.

"Ready to go?" you ask him to keep the conversation going and you're almost proud of your nonchalant tone.

"Ready when you are," he replies with a light smile and walks around the car to open the door for you.

Of course he opens the door for me.

Before you can get in he also takes your bag from you to store it in the back. You want to refuse but one of his smiles finally makes you give in and you hand him the bag. Finally, you thank him and sit down in the passenger seat. The car looks even nicer on the inside: leather seats and perfectly clean. Something inside you starts questioning where this man hides his flaws since noone can possibly be this perfect at all times.

"It's only a 20 minute drive," San explains as he gets into the driver's seat and turns on the engine. You can't help but watch his hands as he manages the gearshift. But as he turns around to look for obstacles his eyes get stuck on you. For a second you think you got him. That his eyes linger on you for a little too long because you finally pulled a reaction out of him.

"You haven't even put your seatbelt on, darling."

And with that your mind is blank. Simple emptiness.

Before you can react, his hand reaches past you, grabbing the seatbelt and plugging it in. His hand doesn't so much as grace your shoulder for a millisecond but you feel like your lungs are constricting.

"Thanks," you breath out before he finally pulls out of the parking spot. He does that wildly attractive thing where he put his hand on the back of the passenger's seat while driving backwards and you feel like losing it already. How will you survive being in the same apartment with this man. San however seems his usual chatty self.

"I'm sorry again for not booking the meeting room in time. I already reserved it for the weeks to come," he starts talking to you.

"Don't worry. I totally don't mind," you answer and regret it immediately. Did that sound too eager? Something about Sam's presence makes you overthink every single word you say.

"I have a fancy coffee machine at home so I can at least return the favour of you getting me coffee all the time."

You smile at that. It feels like this little inside thing between you two how you always use your company privileges to pay for both of your coffee. San thanks you every single time, bringing up how much you save his day.

"I never thought you were that much of a coffee guy at home too," you say trying to get him to tell you more about himself.

"You're acting like I didn't go through pharmacy as well!" He replies with a slightly sulky tone. "No way to survive that major without getting addicted to coffee."

You chuckle at his response. "That's true unfortunately. So you just carried the addiction into your job?"

"You could state it like that but by buying a fancy machine you can just say that coffee is your hobby instead."

Whenever you two talk about mundane topics like this you can't help but be glued to his lips. To get a glimpse of the Choi San that isn't working over-hours all the time and kept up his perfect image at all costs. You want to find out the details about him. Like how he enjoys his coffee or what colour he might like best.

You continue the drive in casual chatter like this before finally reaching your destination. As San pulls into an underground parking lot of an apartment building your heart rate quickens again. Something about seeing his apartment makes you incredibly nervous.

He tells you to wait inside the car after he lets the motor die down so that he can open the door for you again. Even this small gesture has you wrapped around his finger and you smile as you try to step out of the car as gracefully as you can.

San leads you into an elevator and as soon as the doors close you feel reminded of your first meeting. Of how he took your breath away just by standing next to you in such a small space. And now there isn't much difference. He still makes you just as nervous. But at least you can talk to him now.

"How is studying for your exams going so far?" He asks casually.

"It's okay," you reply lamely. "I'm trying my best."

"You know if you actually do need my help you can obviously ask me," he offers alluding to your deal of him basically just getting his own work done instead of tutoring you.

"You've already helped me so much. All I need to do now is actually study," you say turning down his argument.

You idiot, you think to yourself. You could've at least pretended to need his help.

You wait in silence as the remaining floors rush past you. You're surprised with every passing number, wondering what floor San might be living on. But the elevator doesn't stop until the highest floor.

San let's you exit first which makes no sense to you since you don't know where to go. So you wait for him to show you the way to his apartment.

As soon as he unlocks the door and leads you two inside you curiously scan his place. On a first glance it looks almost exactly like you expected: it's very clean and tidy, the furniture is modern and rather minimalistic and the whole place carries a simple colour theme of black and chrome with only hints of colour. The entrance leads straight into an open living room that connects to the kitchen.

"Make yourself at home at the dinner table," San offers while gesturing at the big, black table that looks like straight out of a design magazine.

You both place your shoes neatly at the entrance of his apartment before you take your bag to the table. As you choose a seat from which you can look outside the gigantic window front, San heads over to the kitchen, getting something from a cupboard.

"Can I get you a glass of water before I make some coffee?" He asks you with a kind smile.

"That would be nice," you answer even though water was not what you were craving right now.

He filled one for you and brought it over before returning to the kitchen. "You want your coffee hot or iced?"

"Iced? This is better service than at the company. You should forget to book the meeting room more often." It's a weak attempt at flirting with him but he laughs non the less.

"So iced it is?" He confirms with you again and turns on his electric coffee grinder after you nod approvingly.

It shouldn't captivate you that much, looking at him while he was performing such a basic task as making coffee. But you could watch him for hours, the way his broad back stretches out his dress shirt. The way he moves around so smoothly. The way the muscles in his arms flex as he handles his espresso machine.

You turn towards your study materials just in time before he faces you again, two iced coffees in his hands. He places one gently in front of you before he sits down opposite of you.

"Thank you," you smile at him extra sweetly.

"Anything you want, darling."

You swear to yourself that if he calls you darling one more time you will throw all rational thoughts out of the window and straddle him right here in his stupid designer living room chair. But for now you settle for a coy smile as you feel your cheeks heat up.

To add to your demise, as San drags his chair closer to the table both of your knees touch for a brief second before he casually changes his seating position. The table is narrower than the one in the meeting room and knowing that your legs are mere inches from another makes you even more delusional. What if he did that on purpose?

After that, all concentration for your studies is far gone. It doesn't help at all that the iced coffee he made you was the best you had in ages and with every sip you keep wondering what Choi San isn't good at.

I just know he fucks good there's no other way, you think to yourself but get interrupted in your thoughts.

"Are you stuck on something?" San asks you and you almost don't even dare to raise your eyes to look at him. A kind of shame overcomes you as you realize what you have been thinking about while he worries about your studies.

You sigh to buy yourself time to find an answer that doesn't include: Yes, I'm stuck because I can't think of anything but your body on top of mine.

"Yeah, I just can't seem to concentrate well lately. Maybe I'm stressed out because of my finals."

It isn't fully a lie. Your finals are approaching steadily and with you thirsting over your tutor instead of studying you are indeed starting to worry.

"I would love to tell you that grades don't matter too much but I know your mother won't agree and I will probably face her anger too if you fail," he laughs at the end of his sentence to lighten the mood but quickly notices he only stressed you more by saying that.

"I'm sorry," he quickly retracts. It feels like the first time you caught him messing up his smooth way of talking which in return makes you smile.

"No, you're right. I just never thought about the fact that she will hate both of us if I mess up. What a way to relax."

"I shouldn't have said that," San again apologizes. "I'm sure you will do amazing though. After all you studied so much."

He finishes his sentence with a wink and you must stare at him for a second like an idiot. Did you just imagine that? Or is he alluding to something? Does Choi San know that you thirsted for him this entire fucking time?

But his further actions don't allow you to think much more.

"You look quite tense actually," he continues. "You know it's not good for your back to sit stiff like this for a prolonged amount of time. Your neck must be hurting?"

You have no idea what he is talking about. And your confusion only grows as San gets up from his chair heading in your direction. Every step he comes closer to you has your heart pumping erratically. Even though you dreamed about him being closer to you and finally paying you more attention you are now paralysed at the situation unfolding. Simply being close to him renders your entire body useless.

San steps behind you and, to your absolute shock and amazement, his hands gently grasp your shoulders.

"To compensate the stress from university I took a physiology course that taught us how to massage tense muscles."

As if to proof his words his thumbs gently start rubbing circles into your neck. The warmth of his fingers seeps through your thin shirt and fills your entire body. It feels like he set you on fire with this simple touch.

All of this cannot be real. This must be a figment of your imagination or you actually fell asleep on your study notes while dreaming about San. But his voice sounds very much real when he resumes:

"You have to relax, otherwise I'll hurt you." His voice drops lower than usual and as he gently drapes your hair over one shoulder to get it out of his way you can feel his breath fanning over your neck. Goosebumps erupt all over your skin.

But amid the fire burning in your veins and your clouded mind you actually manage to ease into his fingers and allow him to loosen up your muscles.

"That's a good girl," he rasps behind you and you know you tipped over the edge now. There is no going back from this. You feel like a doll in his hands. His words are electrifying, leaving you unable to utter a single word, to make a single sound. Your mind is running on a state of emergency. Nothing seems to get to you but the fact that San is touching you.

And oh is he good at it. His hands are pressing into all the right places relieving all the pent up tension you built ever since getting ready for this meeting today. If his fingers are already this good at massaging out your stress you can't help but think about what else they can do.

"How do you feel?" He asks. His voice is still low and his tone taunting, as if he knows exactly what he's doing to you.

"Better," you answer. Your voice is merely a whisper. You sound weak, even in your own ears, and wonder if he even heard you.

"Yeah? Then how is this?" With his question his thumbs dip beneath the collar of your shirt and massage your upper back a little lower.

You can't help but close your eyes. The low tone of his voice, his fingers on your skin and the playfulness of his words. All of this is so overwhelming you can only lean back and revel in his touch.

"It feels so good," you manage to breath out when you realize he asked you a question.

He bends down a little, his mouth now right next to your ear. "Should I make you feel even better?"

He is quite literally the devil on your shoulder. Everything in your body screams for you to say yes immediately. The unspoken promise has your entire body on fire and you almost give in to your desire. But a tiny speck of reasonable thinking pulls you back into the dangerous territories you are moving in right now.

"What do you mean?" you ask carefully. You know that this is everything you wanted for the past few weeks but still you can't help being confused about his sudden change.

His left hand wanders from your back to your chin, tilting it to the side so you can look at him. The look in his eyes sends a shiver down your spine. His pupils are dilated and he is looking at you like he is preying on you. The intensity is something you have never seen in him before.

"You are far too smart to be asking that question, darling," he replies smugly.

"But you were never interested in me?" You ask back and want to hit yourself on the spot. Why are you even asking questions when the man you've desired for weeks finally seems to be making a move on you? But after all he is acting very out of character.

San chuckles, never taking his eyes off of you. "You're so cute. All these weeks that you've been wanting me and now you ask what I'm doing?"

Your mouth opens in shock. So he did in fact know all this time that you were interested in him.

"Don't act all surprised now, darling. You really thought I didn't see the way you looked at me ever since we first met? How your eyes keep focusing on my arms in my tight shirts. How you steal glances at me when you think I'm not looking? I wanted to see how long I could leave you thirsting like this before you would break."

His confession has you gasping as you realize you weren't even faintly as indiscreet as you thought you were. Instead San was playing with you the entire time. Watching your every move.

"Desperation looks so cute on you," he adds with another devilish smile. His fingers continue drawing circles into your back as his burning eyes keep you fixed in your spot. You feel bewitched by his entire presence, like he has cast a spell on you.

"I made all this effort to get you into my apartment so we both don't have to risk our lives by having me ruin you on the meeting table and still you didn't even have a clue. I'm almost disappointed if you weren't so cute when you are surprised like this." A satisfied grin plays around his plump lips, as if he revelling in the taste of this sweet opportunity in his hands. "Now be a good girl for me and finally do what you've been wanting to do for weeks. Tell me you want me."

You haven't taken a single breath since he started talking and as a result your head feels dizzy. It takes a short moment before you can finally form the words that your head is screaming at you.

"Please," you whisper pathetically.

"Please what, darling?" San revels in the way you can barely speak.

"Please ruin me."

You can basically see the fire behind his eyes ignite as you speak those three words. His hand wanders to your cheek, grabbing it firmly. He takes his sweet time to let his thumb run over your bottom lip, eyes trailing after his own movement.

"With pleasure."

Finally, his lips press onto yours in a desperate kiss. They feel just as soft as they always looked to you, but he kisses you with a roughness that is almost contradictory. The combination is intoxicating. As you reciprocate the kiss, heat runs through your limbs in shockwaves.

Suddenly impatient, San interrupts the kiss to pull you up and out of the chair by your arms. Grabbing your waist he manhandles you onto the dinner table instead, lifting you onto the ledge as if it was nothing.

Your hands bury in his hair as both your lips meet again in a rushed embrace. In return, San wedges one of his legs between yours and spreads your knees so he can stand between them. The way he handles you makes heat pool in your core. San has a determination to his every move that makes you want to do whatever he could want from you.

One of his hands still tightly grasping your waist, the other winds in your hair as he deepens the kiss. When his tongue enters your mouth you arch your back wanting to diminish every centimetre between you two. Your head is dizzy, completely overwhelmed by his every touch.

San's firm hands are restless on your heated body. His fingers quickly find a way to shift under your shirt and his thumb draws circles into the bare skin of your stomach. Choi San feels like a drug. His touch just as intoxicating as you always dreamed it to be.

He removes his mouth from your lips only to latch onto the fragile skin behind your ears, kissing his way around your neck. You let your head fall back to give him better access and when he starts sucking on your skin you relieve a small whimper.

You can feel San smirking into your skin as he sucks even more. It's like he has found your weakness and is now shamelessly using it to make you melt beneath his fingers. And it's working so well. Your hands lose grip on his hair as you lose your ability to focus on anything but San's lips on your neck.

"Don't tap out on me already, darling. I'm only getting started," he rasps into your ear in between kisses. You draw in a shaky breath at his words. Your legs feel like jelly even as your sitting down and you just know you won't be able to walk after San is finished with you.

He finally withdraws his lips and for a second just revels in your already dishevelled form: hair messy, red flush to your cheeks and lips glossy from kissing him.

"I'd love to have you on my dinner table but let's take this somewhere more comfortable for now," he says in a soft voice.

Hooking his hands under your thighs he picks you up from the table, carrying you towards his bedroom. Woken up from your trance by the change of motion you suddenly gain back some of your bite. While San is busied with carrying you, your fingers rush to the collar of his dress shirt. Oh how often you have dreamed of popping open those buttons one by one. And finally you have the pleasure to do so. A soft chuckle makes his chest move in front of you as San looks down on your actions.

"You couldn't wait, could you?"

"Why would I?" you reply cheekily as your hand smooths over his now exposed skin. He feels so soft and hot under your fingertips that you don't think you'll ever be able to detach.

San throws open his bedroom door with his shoulder and before you have a chance to take in the room you are thrown onto the plush bed. He follows behind immediately, hovering over you with both hands propped up next to your head. He lets his eyes run over your figure lazily, up and down.

"Don't even know where to start with you," he mumbles half to himself and half to you as he watches your chest rise and fall in heavy breaths. He decides to put on a show, sitting back on his heels and slowly continuing your work in unbuttoning his shirt.

Apart from his skin being exposed the simple act of opening some buttons shouldn't drive you as crazy as it does right now. It's simply the sexiest thing you have ever seen in your life. The way his hooded eyes stay on yours the entire time while one button after another falls open under his practiced movements.

You are moving on autopilot when you also sit up to take off your own shirt. You simply can't delay this any further. As your shirt lands somewhere beside the bed, San lets out a small groan, surprising you. He stopped in the middle of folding down his sleeves.

"How did you know that purple was my favourite colour?" He asks in a raspy voice. His eyes are raking over your deep purple bra with a desire in them that lets shivers run over your skin.

You can't imagine a better way to find out his favourite colour. You only chose it because it accentuates your skin tone but now it feels like fate to you. Finally, you are getting to the edges of Choi San. Getting to know him on a level that you were craving like the air you needed to breath.

"Good intuition," you reply. Your confidence surges under his heavy glances. Maybe a little too much. "Need help with that?" you ask him teasingly with a nod towards his shirt, which hangs open around his toned torso.

As soon as you speak those words you are getting pinned back to the bed, San's hand suddenly wrapped around your neck. He isn't putting any pressure on it yet but you can feel his strength pulsating around your neck. His broad shoulders are taking up most of your vision and with the way he glares at you you just know that you are soaked.

"Don't get too bold with me, darling," he says in a warning tone. "I'm the one in charge."

You look up at him through big, round eyes, lashes fluttering because you have a feeling that it will push just the right buttons in him.

"Go ahead then," you reply firmly. "Do whatever you want to me."

San sits up again and roughly tugs on his sleeves, finally discarding his shirt fully. Then his lips are on yours again in a heartbeat.

You greedily let your hands wander over his now fully exposed upper body. The muscles playing under his skin feel so good as he buries his hands in your hair. His biceps is so big that your fingers can barely wrap around it halfway. You can't get enough of touching his body which so far you only admired in fitted dressing shirts.

San kisses his way down from your lips again but this time he doesn't stop at your neck. Continuing down your chest he kisses the tender skin between your breasts. When he takes both hands to squish your breasts together, burying his face in between, you lose your last bit of composure.

"Please, San. Please just fuck me."

He lifts his head to smile at you devilishly. The fire behind his eyes seems so bright that you're scared it will never burn down again.

"Already begging for me? You're still half dressed and I'm only starting. Have a little patience."

As he finishes his words, his hand snakes behind your back to open your bra in a swift motion. He peels the straps off of you with a new found patience that makes you feel like you are suffocating.

When the piece of clothing lands on the floor, San's eyes are glued to your chest. Slowly, he lowers himself down again, gently taking on of your nipples into his mouth. As soon as his tongue starts lapping at you a string of moans escape you. He just feels so good.

Without ever losing focus on kissing and nipping on your chest, one of his hands wanders to your skirt. He finds the zipper so easily it feels like he has studied undressing you. He pushes it down your legs quickly, leaving you only in your underwear.

As his hand starts stroking your inner thighs, your eyes roll to the back of your head. He feels like a dream.

"Please San. Please touch me," the words leave your mouth in whispers. Silent pleas for him to finally give you what you want.

"Is my darling so stressed from studying that she needs her mind taken off of things?" His fingers trail over your clothed heat as he asks you in a sickly sweet voice. His eyes are focussed on your face, taking in how you crumble beneath his touch.

"Yes. Yes, please," you whimper desperately. Every touch feels like electricity on your skin.

"Want me to stuff you full so you can forget everything you've studied for for weeks?" He pushes your panties to the side, his fingers toying at your entrance.

"Please San..." you repeat yourself weakly. Finally he gives into your pleading and sinks two of his fingers into you. You are so wet that they glide in with ease. You suck in a harsh breath as he begins pumping them in and out of you.

"God you feel so good. Can't wait to fuck you, my darling. Bury my cock so deep into you you forget your own name."

His words make you shake beneath him. You had a lot of suspicions about San in the bedroom due to your extensive daydreaming about him. But never did you expect him to be so vocal and downright dirty with his words. It catches you off-guard and only heightens your pleasure.

San scoots up on the bed a little so his face is hovering over yours again, while he slips a third finger into your heat. "How do I feel?" he asks with a raspy tone to his voice.

"You feel so fucking good, San," you moan in answer. His fingers stretch you out so deliciously and he reaches this spot deep inside you that makes you arch your back with every thrust.

"Yeah, you wanna come on my fingers?" he rasps into your ear now, lips again attaching to your neck, sucking deep marks into your skin.

"Please, San." You feel like a broken record that's repeating the same thing over and over. You grow closer and closer to an orgasm with every motion of his fingers inside you. But San has other plans for you. And when he feels you desperately clenching around his fingers, he pulls them out of you.

"I'm sorry darling," he says immediately, even though his face doesn't display any regret. "But you look so pretty when you're desperate. And I want you to come on my cock when I make you fall apart for the first time."

You feel like crying. You want nothing more but to come and yet him taking it from you only makes you want him more. You would do anything for Choi San.

He stands up from the bed and opens his belt. But before he can take of his pants, he orders you over with a motion of his finger. You sit on your knees at the edge of the bed in seconds, looking up at him expectantly.

He doesn't say a word and only gestures for his painfully strained pants. You don't need any more hints to start opening his pants and pulling them down his legs desperately. You hook your fingers into his boxers too but look up at him once more before continuing. When he nods at you you finally pull them down as well.

You can't help but stare at San's length. He's big, just like you had always imagined and he was rock-hard. When San takes himself into his hand and gives himself a few strokes you open your mouth on your own, sticking out your tongue in anticipation of tasting him.

San starts gently. His other hand weaves into your hair and he pulls you onto his length slowly. You are able to take a good amount of him before his tip hits the back of your throat and you release a surprised moan. San closes his eyes momentarily as he relishes in the feeling of your hot mouth around him.

"Shit, you feel so good," he rasps out before he starts thrusting in and out of your mouth. Your hands seek hold on his muscular thighs and you look up at San through big and pleading eyes. Even though he isn't pleasuring you, this almost feels as good as having him bury his fingers inside you. All you ever dreamed about was him using you just like this and the feeling of it happening is so intoxicating you feel like you might pass out any second.

"Look at you enjoying my cock so damn much, that your eyes are losing focus," San chuckles. He looks down at you in disbelief as you mindlessly swirl your tongue around his cock. "You love being ruined by me, don't you?"

You can only manage a desperate nod and approving grunt as you continue sucking him of. No man has ever made you this desperate. As you look at him from beneath you feel like you have accomplished everything you ever wanted: his hair was dishevelled, his breaths uneven and a red tint painted his cheeks. All in all, Choi San lost his perfectly maintained appearance as you sucked on his cock and to you he looked 100 times prettier this way.

When his thrusts go sloppy, he pulls out of your mouth in a haste before he can come. "You're driving me crazy, darling," he grunts as he catches his breath for a second. In a more gentle tone he resumes: "Lay back on the bed for me, ok?"

You do as he says, laying down on your back in the middle of the bed, your body buzzing with the anticipation of what is to come. San goes to his dresser, opening a drawer to get a condom. 

When he climbs over you he looks at you intensely. But at the same time his eyes hold a softness that makes you feel secure.

"Are you sure about going on, y/n?" he asks warmly. No petnames this time. He wants a clear answer.

"Never been so sure in my life," you reply with a smile and his lips mirror yours as he beams down at you.

Quickly he sits up to open the condom and roll it onto his member. Opening your legs with his knee he situates himself between you and positions his cock at your entrance. One hand on your hip and the other holding his cock, he slowly sinks himself into you while carefully observing your face.

Your eyes flutter when he is fully inside of you and you moan at the feeling. San releases a grunt as well and waits a few seconds deep inside of you.

"Fuck, you're so tight for me, my darling. Don't worry I won't stop this time until you come." And with that he starts thrusting into you. He begins with slow and deep thrusts but as soon as you get used to his size he speeds up rapidly. 

His abs are flexing underneath is skin as he grabs onto your hip and pistons himself into you. With every thrust you can feel him hit this spongy part deep inside of you that makes heat build in your core with a throbbing intensity. Meanwhile you revel in the sight above you: San looks like a god. His muscular body moving above you is almost enough to push you over the edge but what's even more entrancing is his face. His expressions seem almost possessed. Like a demon took over him as soon as he started fucking you, he fixes his eyes onto yours.

"Am I fucking you good? Making you forget all your precious studies?" There they are again. His filthy words driving you down a one-way-road to insanity. "I hope you forget everything so you have to see me even more, darling. Then I can keep on fucking this tight little cunt over and over again."

"Fuck, San!" you moan out, being shocked by his words. His control over you is baffling and you can't help but grow closer and closer to your orgasm with every word.

"I know you like me like that, darling. Do me a favour and come on my cock so I can finally see you lose yourself will you?"

You can't form an answer. Endless moans tumble out of your mouth in increasing volume and San knows he has you exactly where he wants. 

"Come for me."

Your orgasm hits you with an explosive intensity. Faintly, you notice yourself moan at a concerning volume as your high washes over your body. But San doesn't seem to mind. Your legs are shaking and he helps you ride out the feeling with slower strokes. He waits for your breath to slow down again before he leans down to you and places a gentle kiss onto your lips.

"I want you on your knees in front of me," he says sweetly as soon as your lips separate and your head is spinning. Still you manage to get up with the help of his arm beneath your waist and you let yourself be positioned in front of San, your back to him.

Since you didn't have the opportunity to examine his bedroom earlier you only now notice the big mirror on his wardrobe next to his bed. Looking ahead, you can now see yourself on your knees, sitting in front of San.

You look even more dishevelled than you feel: Your hair is all over the place and some of your eyeliner smudged and a handful of dark purple marks littering your neck. Also, a red tint covers your skin, making you look flushed. San behind you smirks as you examine your own figure.

"You look so pretty all messed up like this for me, don't you think?"

His arm wraps around your waist as he leans your body back onto his broad chest. You look tiny in front of his build.

"I'll make you look even prettier," he promises as he sinks himself back into you.

He picks up his intense pace from before and you already feel dizzy again. With his arm holding you tight he is basically lifting you up and down his cock. At this angle he is hitting you deeper than before and you are sure you won't last very long until your next high.

But nothing could've prepared you for the feeling of San winding his other arm around you too, his fingers gently starting to stroke your clit. Your head falls back onto San's shoulder as you give in to the mind-numbing pleasure that starts buzzing through your body.

"Keep your eyes on me, darling. I want to watch you fall apart."

His voice sounds sulky, almost cute. It doesn't match his relentless thrusts and his fingers pleasuring you. It takes all your strength to lift your head again and look at San through the mirror. His eyes are hooded now, a shin layer of sweat making his flawless skin shine in the evening light.

"You make me feel so good," you manage to say as San keeps on pounding into you. You want him to know how he makes you feel. How good he is being to you.

"Am I?" He smiles in satisfaction as he watches your brows draw together with a particularly deep thrust. "You too, darling. You feel so good around me I don't think I can last much longer. But you'll come one more time for me, right?"

His voice sounds so deep and sultry in your ears. "Of course, Sannie," you mumble absent-mindedly. You don't even notice the nickname until he chuckles behind you.

"How can you be so cute and so sexy at the same time? You'll be the death of me, my good little girl."

He places a kiss onto your cheek and that is what finally drives you over the edge.

"Fuck, San. I'm coming," you moan out before your high crashes over you. If he wasn't holding you, you would fall to the ground. You try to hold eye contact with San through the reflection but your eyes keep on shutting as waves of pleasure roll over you. You have never felt such an intensity before.

But San's thrust don't slow down this time. He keeps on rutting into you relentlessly, driving you to insanity. You feel like you're swimming in a pool of pleasure.

"I'm close, darling. Just a little longer," San's voice is pitched higher than before, sounding just as desperate as you feel. You want nothing more but for him to come.

"Please, Sannie. I want you to come so bad."

Your desperate pleas are San's final straw. Clutching your body tight to his own, he finishes with his cock buried deep inside you. You can feel him pulsating in your heat and your moans mix into his grunts as you milk him for every last drop of his cum.

As you both slowly recover San pulls out of you and gently lays you back onto the bed. You can't do anything but catch your breath while he gets up to rid himself of the condom and return to you with a glass of water.

"Drink something," he urges you on and you take the glass from him. He watches you with a tinge of worry in his eyes. After taking a few sips you offer the glass back to him.

"You should drink some too, I'm sure you worked your body more than I did."

He smiles at your words and takes some water too before returning the glass to his bedside table. When he looks back at you there is a heaviness to his gaze that worries you.

"What is it?" you ask.

San takes a deep breath before answering you. "No matter what I said to you before, I actually didn't expect us to tumble into this as quickly as we did right now. And I want you to know that I didn't do this to use you or take any advantage of you."

His hand nervously grabs for the back of his neck. "Actually, I've been interested in you ever since we first met but I fear the tension between us was quicker than both of us."

You try to process his words even in your hazy state of mind. A spark of excitement surges through your body as you realize what he is saying.

"I feel the same, San," you reply truthfully. "I like you. And not just because you're insanely handsome."

You are glad when he laughs shyly at your words.

"So maybe I can take you out on a date that doesn't involve work or pharmacy studies sometime?"

"I hope sometime means this week, because I waited long enough for you already."

After everything that happened this evening, this moment when he smiles at you might be what makes your heart beat the fastest. You can't believe your luck as you look Choi San into the eyes and he leans in for a kiss.

-----------------

"This was a stupid idea," you say to San but maybe more to yourself. "I should tell her alone."

"How will she ever respect me again if I let you do this alone?" San replies worriedly. "She told me to tutor you and now here we are. I will look terrible either way."

You have never seen him this nervous. But after all, your mother has the ability to make everybody scared for their life. You two pass her assistant's desk with a polite greeting as you head straight for your mother's office. She knows you are coming but she doesn't know you're bringing company.

You knock carefully on the door until her voice calls you in. Your mother stays seated as you two enter the room. She doesn't look surprised or confused about San's appearance but rather intrigued.

"Why are you visiting me today, y/n?" she asks simply.

Your heart is beating out of your chest as you prepare for answering.

"I have something to announce to you," you start off as confident as you can. 

Your mother's eyes flick between you and San. "Go on."

"San- ... Mr. Choi and I, we are..." your voice is shaking. Why is this so hard for you?

But San grabs for your hand, linking his fingers with yours as he confidently finishes your sentence: "We are in a relationship, director Kim."

His boldness strikes you as admiring. Maybe he was right about accompanying you.

A silence that draws out unbearably long fills the room. You feel like your lungs are being compressed with every passing second.

Then your mother smiles. It's not exactly a smile of happiness. It speaks more of victory.

"Finally," she announced. "It took you two longer than I expected."

Now it's your turn to be silent. Both you and San are stunned in your places.

Finally you find your voice to ask: "What do you mean, mom?"

She smiles at you in satisfaction.

"You see: Mr. Choi is a good man. He's a gentleman, treats his colleagues with the utmost respect, excels at his job and is handsome too. How could I find a better match for my beloved daughter? But I know you wouldn't be interested if I were to formerly introduce you two so I thought I'd help you in a different way."

Your mouth falls open in shock. Out of all things, your mother purposefully setting you up with San has never even crossed your mind. Your boyfriend seems even more shocked at the revelation than you, his face reddened and a stunned expression on his face.

"So you set us two up?" You finally ask your mother.

"Of course I did! And it worked out brilliantly, don't you think? I'm glad you both came to tell me. Mr. Choi?"

San perks up at her words. "Yes?"

"I assume you will take good care of my daughter?"

"Of course I will," he replies sternly, voice full of sincerity. "I will do everything care for y/n." His words make you feel warm and fuzzy.

Your mother nods approvingly. "Then you two may leave. I still have work to do."

You both nod hastily and thank your mother before turning back for the door.

"Oh, before I forget. Y/n?" your mother asks one last time.

"Yes?"

"I received your test results that you sent me. They look very promising."

I hope you enjoyed <3 Pls reblog and leave feedback if you can :)

Tags: @voicesinmyhead-rc

#ateez x reader #ateez fic #ateez fanfic #ateez smut #beginningofwonderland #smut fanfic #ateez fanfiction #san smut #san x y/n #san x reader #san fanfic #san x you

[luveline]

could i request teacher!reader with hotch? like maybe she’s jacks teacher

thank you for your request! fem!reader, 1.2k

You're a teacher: you're always tired. Overworked, underpaid, everybody knows how it goes. And maybe you've let yourself go because you don't have any real material hopes for the future beyond getting Macy Danish to read at a first grade level, but how were you supposed to know that Jack Hotchner's father would be so overwhelmingly attractive? It's not fair. 

He's handsome though older than you'd been expecting, but that isn't the cut and dry of it. When he comes in, it's alone, in a well-fitted suit. He's tall and remarkably dark-eyed, shaking your hand without trying to impose any authority, as some of the fathers tend to do, and when you call him Mr. Hotchner, he says, "Aaron, please," but continues to call you Ms. L/N.

"Aaron," you say, pulling your skirt under your thighs as you sit down. You're dressed in nice clothes for the parent-teacher conferences, but you could've covered your sleeplessness better. "Jack is the nicest boy in class. He's actually my loveliest kid. Um…" You search through your notes for the preliminary assessment of Jack. "Sorry, two seconds." 

"Take your time. I know what it's like to dig through a mountain of paperwork every day." 

"Jack mentioned you work in the government, he calls you a special agent," you say, smiling. "You get the bad guys." 

"I am a special agent. Supervisory." Aaron is conscientious enough to pretend he doesn't notice your surprise. "I'm chief of the behavioural analysis unit." 

You can't even begin to guess what that entails. "Oh," you say breathlessly. 

"I understand that it sounds fantastical." 

"It sounds impressive," you say, floundering to correct yourself. Behavioural analysis? It must be obvious to him how nervous he's making you, then, and when you realise that, you get worse. "I'm so sorry about this. I should be more organised. I usually am." 

"That's alright. Take your time." 

Does he always speak that way? His voice is like fucking silk? Is he messing with you?

You yank the notes you made for Jack from the pile and flatten them across the desk. "Okay, sorry. Like I was saying, Jack is really the nicest kid, him and his friend Molly. They're both lovely, and teachers shouldn't have favourites, please don't tell the other parents, but they're my favourites." You smile at him quickly and return your eyes to the paper. The words swim in front of your eyes. "Jack can read better than you could ever hope for a first grader, he's immensely intelligent for his age group. He's patient. He'll explain anything to anyone if they ask him too, and he does it well." 

"I'm glad to hear that," he says, again so softly. 

You pick up one of your skinny biros to have something to fidget with. He's a very good looking man, but you're a good teacher. You can focus on what to say. Some parents need good things only. Some need reassurement that they're doing a good job. Aaron is harder to read, but you know what he needs, too. 

"He can be lonely," you say, looking him in the eye. "I don't think that that's down to any fault. I'm sure you know better than I do why he might feel that way." You know about his mom's passing over a year ago. You've seen grief in children too many times. "He… I understand if this isn't okay with you, but he eats lunch with me sometimes. I encourage him to sit with his peers, of course, but I think he runs out of energy pretty quickly." 

Aaron nods thoughtfully. His brows quirk into a furrow that you're afraid is directed at you. 

"I don't think he necessarily has trouble connecting with his friends." 

"What do you think?" 

"I think something awful happened to your family, and Jack will feel it for the rest of his life, but that it won't stop him from being great. It already isn't. And… he clearly has a father who loves him and who he admires. You're his second favourite topic." 

"What's his first?" he asks. 

"He's really into Fruity Fridays," you say with a laugh. "I bring in fruits you don't get often in America. Someone would've had to sign a form." 

"No, I remember signing it. He likes that?" His smile is golden. "I can't get him to try new things." 

"He had all the leftover gold kiwi last week." You rub your lips together. Time is ticking. You have nearly thirty parents to see tonight, but talking to Mr. Hotchner has been so normal. He's a regular person in a sea of inattentive helicopter narcissists. It's a relief and a half to meet him and know a kid as gentle as Jack is in good hands. "Mr. Hotchner, I have to tell you, I'm really relieved to meet you." 

"Aaron," he corrects.

Your tone drops too low. "Aaron." 

"I'm more than relieved," he says. "I knew that this year would be harder for him. I didn't know… I'm grateful to you, for being so kind with him." 

You look down at your notes, flushed from head to toe despite your airy skirt. Crossing your legs, you shake your head. "It's my job." 

"To let him take up the only break you get all day?" he asks. 

"It's not like that. Jack doesn't bother me." You fold your notes in half. "I can see his role model measures up." 

"I could say the same thing." 

The next time you see Jack, bright and early Monday mooring shepherded by his aunt Jessica, he's very happy to see you. You offer him a hug and pat his back when he wraps his arms around your hips. "Hello, Jack. Was your dad pleased with your drawings?"

Jack smiles at you. "I have a note for you." 

"You do? Can I see? Where is it, honey?" 

Jack takes off his backpack and pulls out the note and a tupperware container. "Oh, wow, did you make treats for the class? Jack, that's so nice!" 

"No. Dad said those are for you. He said you should have nice for nice, or something," Jack informs you. 

"You'll share with me, though? I can't eat them all by myself," you whisper. 

He nods with enthusiasm and runs off to put his backpack in his cubby and his coat on the hook. You look down at the cookies and note, which is actually an envelope. 

You open it with your thumbnail. The writing is Aaron's usual tight cursive.

Dear Miss L/N, 

I hoped to thank you again in person, but work makes that hard. I appreciate everything you do for Jack. There are teachers who work, and there are teachers who go above and beyond. I can feel confident anywhere in the country knowing Jack is being taught by the latter. 

Gratefully yours, 

Aaron Hotchner. 

P.S. Please don't feed Jack too many cookies. They're not for him. 

You keep the letter even if it's lame to do so. When is the next parent teacher conference, anyways?

#aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner x y/n #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner fic #aaron hotchner blurb #aaron hotchner drabble #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fic #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotchner fanfic #aaron hotchner fanfiction #criminal minds #hotch x reader #hotch #hotch x you #hotch blurb #hotch drabble

[invisibleraven]

“you’re my friend, of course i fucking care.” for Alex/anyone because LET. ALEX. SWEAR.

Warnings for child abuse, allusions to domestic violence

It is well established, that out of all of Alex's friends, Reggie is the most questionable one. So sometimes, Alex thinks he can be excused for not paying attention to every single bit of his ramblings.

Like he's glad that Dungeons & Dragons is helping Reggie develop his storytelling skills and having a positive impact on his English grade, but that doesn't mean he needs to know the life story of every character in his campaign.

And Alex doesn't mind country music, but he could do without being party to Reggie's hour long lecture on the greatness of Dolly and Shania when Luke rags on the genre a bit too much.

Honestly it's when Reggie gets quiet and withdrawn that makes Alex sit up and pay attention.

Today for instance, when he came in, he had to stop. Because Reggie was hunched in on himself, sniffling and wiping at watery eyes.

"Reg? Are you okay?"

Reggie lifted his eyes, red rimmed and shimmery, a dark mark on his cheek that make Alex suck in a breath. "Like you care."

Alex rushed over, gripping Reggie's hands in his, unable to ignore the split knuckles, and looked Reggie right in his eyes. "You're my friend, of course I fucking care," he asserted, taking in the trickle of blood from Reggie's nose, the cut running through his eyebrow. "And I want to murder whoever did this to you."

Reggie's eyes flew away, wiping the blood away, hands jerked from Alex's grasp. "Don't worry, I got my own licks in."

Alex snorted at that. "Did you just 'you should see the other guy' me? Really Reginald?"

Reggie cracked a wry grin at that, grabbed the tissues that Alex grabbed from the box on the table and offered to him. "I mean, you just told me you wanted to kill him, so maybe you shouldn't. Doubt anyone will bail you out if you snuff out my old man."

Alex froze at that. "Your dad did this to you?"

"It was that or let him beat the shit out of my mom. She got out, her and Alfie, hopefully she thought to go farther than the Meyerson's. I came here." Reggie blew out a breath, disrupting the bangs that were lying across his forehead. "He was plastered, probably passed out by now. He'll forget this, too ashamed that his own son beat his ass. He always does."

"H-he's done this before?" Alex asked timidly.

"Not this bad," Reggie admitted. "He lost his job, so it was worse this time. Usually I'm faster, able to avoid him leaving a mark. I just wish mom would get it in her head that he's never gonna change and just take us and leave."

"Reggie..." Alex started, but stopped when Reggie held up a hand.

"It's okay Lexie. I'm almost 18. Once my birthday hits if she's still with him I'm taking Alfie and getting out. Bring him to MeeMaw back in Georgia, he'll be safe there. I-I don't think I can save her too if she won't get it through her head what a piece of shit he is."

"And you?" Alex asked, quiet as the fear rushed through him. "Will you stay in Georgia too?"

Reggie snorted at that, smiling at Alex, but wincing when it made his cheek sting. "Why, you worried you'll miss me? No worries, I couldn't stay away long, the band needs me. Plus once Ray finds out, I'm pretty sure he'll offer to adopt me then and there."

Alex let out a genuine laugh at that. "Well you're not wrong there." Then, quiet as anything, he whispered "Next time it gets bad, come to me will you? I know first aid at least. Now let's get you cleaned up, and we can see what snacks Ray has poked away before Julie sees you and freaks."

Reggie grinned, letting himself be pulled up from the couch, but didn't let go of Alex's hand, and he found he didn't mind that one bit. "Sounds good, but I call dibs on the Goldfish."

Alex snorted. "Deal," and started pulling Reggie towards the house, never letting go, even if it made eating snacks all the harder. But when Reggie pressed a shy kiss to the corner of Alex's mouth, he found he really didn't mind, gripping Reggie's hands all the tighter.

#filled prompts #ficlet #ralex #julie and the phantoms

[puckngrind]

What's In a Name: Easter 2023 - J. Toews

Where we left off: Jon and Bekah welcomed Lincoln into the world in 2020. Scarlett was born in February. This is BEFORE the epilogue

Warnings: smut, language, postpartum, babies, Easter

Word Count: 2,500

Series Masterlist ) Puck ‘n Grind’s masterlist

2023.

“Maybe hosting the team less than 2 months after giving birth was a bad iiiiiidddee... uh.” Jon rounds the corner to see Bekah bopping around the kitchen with Lincoln water coloring an Easter bunny at the table and the swishy almost 2 month old, Scarlett, wrapped up on her chest.

"Quit playing games with my heart... with my heart..." Bekah sings out as Jon closes the distance between them with a laugh. He reaches into her hair and pulls out her air pods. "Holy... Tae!" Bekah jumped while clutching the slightly asleep newborn.

"Hi Momma. Whatcha makin' here?" Jon popped a marshmallow from the bowl in front of them into his mouth.

"Peep cars. I don't know Tae. I saw it and thought the kids would like it. I'm nervous about this egg hunt tomorrow and I shouldn't be since this isn't our first rodeo." Jon wraps his wife up from behind and kisses her ear to whisper.

"It maybe wasn't the best idea but you are doing amazing, also what do you need me to do?" Jon kisses the shell of Bekah's ear again and she leans into him with a hum escaping from her lips. "I can take care of that later..." Bekah elbows him and he laughs out. "Seriously Beks, do you want me to take Scar? Assemble these Bunny mobiles? Paint with Linc? Use me. Well, in a way the kids can see." Jon clears his throat.

"Jonathan Bryan, you are pushing the line there." Bekah turns around to give him the mom look he's become accustom to since Lincoln started having an opinion that wasn't the same as hers.

"Okay, okay. I'm just glad you got the all clear at your appointment this week." Jon runs his fingers down Bekah's sides to hold her hips. "Let me take Scar and we will check out Lincoln's creations and let you do this." Jon reaches into the wrap and freeing his daughter. Her arms and legs stretch instinctually and whimpers before landing on her daddy's chest with a coo of approval.

"Are we really calling her Scar?" Bekah questions while taking off the baby wearing wrap. "Like..." Bekah runs her finger over Jon's scar from work. "Scars? Injuries? Not great memories?"

"I mean we don't have to but I don't think if it as being scars Beks. Plus not all my scars are bad memories. Some really good ones too." Jon winks, kisses Scarlett's head and then Bekah's lips. "Get back to creating, we will be water coloring over here." Jon sits next to Lincoln and gets lost in the Easter activities while stealing looks towards the kitchen to watch Bekah float around working on creating the most perfect Easter party.

"Well, it's 10pm and she should sleep for about two hours." Bekah shuts their bedroom door after feeding Scarlett.

"I'll take the 6am feeding since we have morning skate before everyone comes over." Jon comes out of the bathroom in just his boxer briefs. "Does that work, Momma?" Jon pulls Bekah's body flush with his and ghosts her lips.

"Yes." Bekah whispers kissing his lips gently.

"Was that to the feeding or what I was talking about earlier, because I'm fine waiting, you know that. I..."

"Both, Tae. Both. Maybe let me go freshen up, 'kay?" She stands on her toes to kiss his forehead and Jon just shakes his head and starts to argue but let’s her retreat to the bathroom.

Bekah emerges a few moments later to find her husband naked and hard as a rock with his hands behind his head, staring at the doorway to the bath. "Well, Mr. Toews, you are clearly ready." Bekah dims the lights almost to dark and tugs at her husband's shirt covering all her insecurities.

"I have been patiently waiting to let you heal and rest but I've missed this." Jon stands and takes no time to remove his shirt from Bekah's body. Kissing down her jawline then to her collar bone.

"Slow, Tae, take it slow, please." Bekah's breath catches in her throat as Jon pulls her leg up and his length presses into her skin.

"I remember and I got you, Beks." Jon gracefully moves both of their bodies to the bed and hovers over his beautiful wife. Kissing between her breasts she goes to stop him and Jon catches Bekah’s wrists with a single hand but releases them to kiss down her stomach. Bekah flinches and moves her hands again to stop him. "Rebekah, we are good. I love you. All of you. Forever and ever. Doesn't matter what's different from bringing our children into the world. Could you please let me show you. Okay?" Jon looks deep into his wife's eyes and she nods in agreement. Jon continues making his way to her core. His tongue is intentional and gentle. Bekah's body breaks out in goosebumps with the sensation.

"Oh, Tae." Bekah's body jolts in response to his increased movement. Jon continues until Bekah pulls his hair hard making him look up. "I'm fine. Sorry. It feels amazing." Bekah loosens her grip and Jon's fingers slide into her core and curl while he sucks on her clit. It doesn't take much to make her orgasm crash over her. "Fuck. Tae. Here. Please.” Bekah pants out. Jon recognizes her commands and moves up her body. He kisses her lips intently and moves to her neck. Bekah’s body arches into him as Jon’s fingers run down one side of her body.

"Ready Mon Amour?" Jon pushes Bekah's hair off of her face, tucking it behind one ear. Kissing her lips with so much desire she feels her body react again. Without say anything Bekah moves her legs to his ass and presses him towards her. Jon takes her cue to slide deep in and holds. Focusing on kissing Bekah’s ear, neck, shoulder.

"Tae, move. I'm ready." Bekah rolls her hips up and Jon starts a rhythm. Worshiping her body as he thrusts in and out. "Jon, you can let your's go. I feel you holding back." Bekah whispers into his ear as he presses his lips to her shoulder once again. Jon's hand slips down under Bekah's leg and pulls it up further to press his length deep inside and releases. French laced expletives fill her ears. Jon shifts and Bekah's feet press into the back of his legs and a loud moan slips out of her mouth. The orgasm surprised her and she covers her mouth to suppress the involuntary sounds escaping her which makes Jon quake with laughter.

"Babe, did you not realize you were going to so soon?" Jon kisses the sweat off Bekah's hairline and then stares into her eyes.

"It's been awhile, okay?" Bekah covers her eyes from the lust filled stare of her husband. "How are you still hard?" She wiggles from overstimulation with Jon still fully in her.

"It's been awhile, okay?" Jon thrusts into Bekah while her whole body shudders under him. "You are so damn sexy I could do this all night BUT I know we need sleep." Jon moves off of her and pulls Bekah's body into his side. "Wanna shower together then sleep?" The two move off the bed and into the shower. Jon wasn’t done once they got in the shower but curled Bekah into him to sleep before she had to get up for the next feeding. The one thing about post pregnancy Bekah was she was a light sleeper but could fall asleep in moments. Jon loved watching his wife sleep in those few months. Admiring how equally strong and gentle she was. How she just sort of knew how to do things and handled life of a hockey wife with ease.

"Babe, Baby, Beks?" Jon shakes Bekah lightly as the sunrise broke through the window. He was trying not to startle her but it didn't work.

"WHAT? Is the baby okay? Did I forget to feed her?" Bekah shoots up out of bed and Jon picks her up bridal style and lays Bekah back in bed.

"No Sweetheart, I just changed, fed, and put her back to bed. I just need to leave for the rink and Linc will be up here in about 30 minutes." Jon kissed Bekah sweetly.

"Oh, thank you Tae. Zack, Kelly and the kids are coming soon to help hid eggs and distract Lincoln from peeking. We cannot have the team thinking the Cap's toddler has the edge." Bekah laughs.

"Je t'aime Beks."

"I love you too but what's that about?" She looks up puzzled "That you have thought of everything, but you know it isn't necessary and I do always love you." Jon sits at the foot of the bed to put his shoes on. Bekah climbs over and sits on his lap.

"Yeah, a bunch of overly competitive professional athletes won't make a kid's egg hunt some sort of competition. Riiiigggghhhttt?" Bekah cannot control the laughter and Jon tries to deny it. "Will you promise no blood at least?"

"Beks, we will not be overly competitive. Most of the kids are younger than Lincoln. Colton is about the only older kid. We will be civil." Jon kisses his unconvinced wife again and heads to the rink.

The team slowly entered the Toews home and most headed directly to the kitchen for food. Bekah set up stations through the first floor with crafts and activities for the kids before the egg hunt started.

"Ms. Bekah." A low voice came from behind Bekah as she checked the food and chatted with a few of the girls. Bekah turned to see Colton Keith behind her.

"Hey Colt!"

"My dad said you had special directions for me?" He looked back at Duncan who was holding Scarlett and talking to Jon.

Bekah bent down slightly to be eye level with the now 9 year old. "Yes, I was wondering if you wanted to hunt for yours AND Scarlett's eggs? Since she cannot find her own. What do you say?" The boy's eyes light up and nods his head violently then heads back to his dad. Duncan listens intently to his son's mission and mouths a thank you to Bekah from across the room.

"Okay team, egg hunt happening in five minutes in the backyard. We will start on the patio if you would like to head there. Beks has a basket with each kid's name on it sitting on the table out back." Jon claps like he just gave a pep talk and the team moves to the back.

Bekah had sections set up. The toddlers such as Weslie, Trey, Stephanie and Lincoln had one section. All of their dad's behind them. Patrick elbowing Dylan and Jon jokingly.

"This will end badly." Bekah whispers to herself before raising her voice. "Okay, please only find 10 eggs. There are 3 golden eggs, one in each section that not only has candy for the littles but a prize for the family." Bekah pulls the bridge of her nose realizing what she said. "Boys, NO blood! You hear me?" Staring at the grown men standing ready to go. "Seriously! Okay, on your mark, get set... GO!" As Bekah expected, the men instantly turned on their game faces making the spectators laugh.

The egg hunt was adorable. The social media team sent someone to take some pictures and videos to post online. Bekah was sure the team rep was hoping for some interference from the dads. Bekah could tell how respected Jon was by his team in situations like this off the ice. As soon as the kids were done collecting eggs and dumping the candy out the social media person thanked Bekah and left.

"Okay boys..." Bekah raises her voice and feels the heat on her cheeks when every eye looks up and over to her. "I may have hidden tickets for you all to find. Coach gave me permission to give out certificates for you."

"Certificates Beks?" Jon pipes up.

"Yes, get out of a run, late to practice, dinner on the team... those type of rewar..." A barbaric sound cuts her off as the guys stand from their dad roles of going through the eggs. "This one is for everyone, even the non-dads." Bekah looks behind her as the young ones realize they get to play too.

"Us too?" Kirby chimes in.

"Yes, all Hawks players are allowed to do this hunt. There is one for each of you. The reward is hidden inside the egg shaped envelope. You won't find out if you get a bag of candy, beverage, JT Foundation swag, or one of the team rewards until after everyone is done." Bekah's laugh is slightly evil in nature. "Okay, seriously, this will be the first and last year for this if any of you land on the IR. Please don't. And, go!"

The men took off running! Even more so than the kids did. The chirping happened immediately too.

"Watch out old man!"

"Kaner is going to end up with foundation gear."

"Is one of the awards the A?"

"Need your glasses?"

"Are you tall enough to get that egg in the tree eh?"

Bekah was thankful that the pushing and shoving was held to a minimum and laughter filled their backyard. The team had gone through so much in the last few seasons, even with a cup win, that seeing them laughing and acting like young boys was exactly the reaction Bekah was looking for when she bounced this idea off Brynn a few weeks ago.

The chirping continued when the boys opened their envelops. Cheers and jeers with each opening. Jon wrapped his arms around his wife taking in his team. Everyone thanked the Toews as they headed out the door.

"Tae?" Bekah crashed on the couch with Scarlett on her chest and Lincoln sitting on the floor playing with the soft puck that was in one of his eggs. "Jon?" Bekah leans up when Jon didn't answer.

"Here Baby!" Jon appears behind the couch. "I was just putting the cold back in the fridge for you." He leans over and kisses her forehead and pats Scarlett's bum.

"You didn't have to I was going to get up as soon as I feed her." Bekah goes to sit up.

"I know, and you put on the best Easter party for the team ever. It's the least I can do. Plus, the boys cleaned up the backyard so there really isn't much for us to do beyond taking down the tables which I'll do now." Bekah reaches up and pulls on her husband's shirt.

"I don't deserve you, Tae." Bekah leans her head on the back of the couch and stares up at him.

"No, Beks. I don't deserve you." Jon leans down and kisses his wife's lips. "Now, Linc, wanna help me?"

"Yeah. Yeah Dada!" Lincoln popped up and followed his Dad.

Bekah took in this life her and Jon created and smiled.

#What's in a name fic #WIAN epilogue 2 #WIAN Easter 2023 #J. Toews #tazer me 19

[blushing-starker]

Having a boyfriend that's a natural rule breaker becomes even more tedious because now it's two people conspiring together, itching to shatter social norms. Sure, they won't pull the fire alarm stunt to get out of a quiz (that's more Rocket and Groot's style), place mirrors on front steps to confuse Fury and nearly give the principal a heart attack (Loki with an exasperated Thor and cackling Hela) or hire a mariachi band to follow hall monitor Alexander Pierce (Steve had joined Bucky and Sam in that one); they'd never sneak into the air vents, fill them with glitter so the haughty board of directors would be covered in pink sparkles when they cranked the ac (Clint and Nat).

Ok, they did help with that last one, buying the shimmering stuff from T'Challa's sister and slipping five jars into Clint's backpack, but they didn't actually go into the vents.

But that's not the point. The point is there are limits to their rule breaking; Tony's spot on the football team and Peter's participation in the art club too important to risk on something as silly as skipping a quiz. No, they thanked their best friends, unhooked the window lock and slithered out only after finishing and handing in the quiz. They weren't amateurs.

Still, Peter knows Tony literally couldn't have chosen a worse time for their impromptu lunch date. (Luckily, he'd expected this exact situation.)

"Tony, they don't even have bad food today. We could just wait until the bell rang to meet up and eat at the bleachers. Like we always do a day before a big game."

His boyfriend swivels around, hooks nimble fingers into his belt loops to pull Peter closer, never once stumbling even while walking backwards. The grin he shows is manic, just this side of wild to let Peter know this isn't about haunting nightmares and bouts of anxiety. This is normal, too high on a feeling Tony Stark. Which means he won't head back to school unless Peter pulls out all the stops...

He's too exhausted from last night's art project to use up energy on the puppy eyes. So he sighs, tugs on the blue varsity jacket Tony loves to show off, kisses a dimple before turning this untamed creature around.

"Come on, I found a new route to that shawarma place with MJ and Ned last week." It sounds exasperated, but Tony knows Peter will do anything to keep him happy. Well. Not anything. There's only so many times they can discuss Star Wars before simply agreeing to disagree on whether Han and Luke are pan or bi.

"What, and you tell me this now?", Tony squawks indignantly from Peter's left side, freezing nose nuzzling into Peter's neck as revenge.

Like a robber caught sneaking into a vault, he raises his hands instantly before shoving Tony away.

"Hey, you were focusing on practice! If I told you, you'd bring Rhodey, he'd bring T'Challa and then Shuri would pop up and who goes where she goes? Bucky, which means Steve and Sam, who'd already be there thanks to Rhodey and of course Clint would somehow appear with Nat. We'd be together so Ned and MJ are gonna be teasing with Betty and half the guys in our grade have a crush on Nat, or MJ or Shuri or Betty or you. So what's the end result? The entire football, soccer, basketball and swim team eating shawarma a week before the games. I am not hearing Coach Coulson scold me for you guys breaking diet again. I'm already on his list, another situation like that and I'll have to run fifteen laps around the field."

"Oh come on, you can do those in your sleep." He could, but again, not the point.

"With a weighted backpack, Tony."

"Yeah, I can see why you wouldn't want that."

"Before cycling fifteen laps and then swimming fifteen laps."

"Jesus, why would he even do that?" Tony looks at him then, disgruntled at the thought of his boyfriend doing all that.

He shrugs, doesn't want to explain Peter had done it once when it all got too much and he'd needed to release the pent up energy. He hadn't noticed Coach watching him, ready to come help if he hurt himself. They'd talk afterwards, Coulson making him promise to never do that alone. Now it became a reward and a punishment. Peter won the art contest? Fifteen everything to focus his mind and not go jumping off walls in his excitement.

His students wolfing down a thousand calories before a game? Fifteen everything so Peter would at least "time it so it's not during the season, Jesus". To be fair to Peter, Tony participated in almost all the sports teams so scheduling was hard.

"Listen, just don't eat a whole animal, ok? We can split it, eat enough," he glares at Tony, pushing through even as the puppy eyes come out, "and then head to the movies. They're showing Aliens for a few days cuz of Halloween and I already texted the guys to come during lunch."

His boyfriend, smart and sharp and witty, just blinks at him. "But we have class after lunch."

"Technically, but I convinced Mr Pym to let the class out of lab so we could all hang out. It's the one class we share so now the whole group can see it together."

Tony stops, eyes wide and mouth open.

"You, what, planned this?"

"Yeah, something fun before tomorrow to take it off your mind for a while. Or, you know, not make it stand out as much. I know how focused you get, and it's really great, having that as a goal, strategizing and taking it seriously. But I also know it can be a lot, so I thought we should all hang out since each of us has something coming up and we aren't spending much time together. Which I get, responsibilities and family and school; I just missed it and I can't be the only one, right? So yeah, this was planned. Like, two weeks ago. When MJ found the new route, it was like a sign. And I really want you to relax and enjoy the whole, I have friends that care for me and a boyfriend that loves-"

He slaps a hand on his mouth, eyes impossibly wide and cheeks flaming. Tony and Peter stand immobile, the world reduced to beat up sneakers breaking the simplicity of yellow lines on black, a flickering neon sign telling them the shawarma place is open and two hearts slowly starting to beat again after that confession.

Ned would say it's romantic. MJ would bluntly remind them it's a bad idea to stand in the middle of the road even if they're saying I love you. And with good reason, since there's the telltale roar of a car bursting with teenagers, voices howling out the lyrics to an AC/DC song. And of course Peter notices the noise of rubber swerving against gravel, the screeching of old brakes and a few terrified shrieks harmonizing with a sharp wind blasting into him out of nowhere. Before he can react, Tony is there, wrapping his arms around Peter and shoving them both into the little patch of grass that grows from a crack in dirty pavement.

There's a moment where his whole world flips, tumbles until he screws his eyes shut and prepare himself for whatever the fuck caused that noise. But nothing comes. Only a sigh blowing a stray curl away from his forehead. But a sigh? Why would?

Tony.

He gasps, jolts upright and apologizes when that just serves to jostle his boyfriend further into the ground. His boyfriend who'd flip them so Peter wouldn't be hurt. Tony is peering at him through half shut eyes, discomfort clear on the grimace he tried to transform into a sheepish grin.

"So, you love me, huh?"

It's the stupidest thing Tony Stark has ever said.

"What the fuck were you thinking? You could have gotten hurt, you could have shattered a wrist, dislocated a shoulder, torn an ACL, bent a leg-"

"This is not what I expected. Also it was a three foot leap forward on grass, I'm fine, Peter."

"Or bashed your head, or busted an arm and then what would you do for the game tomorrow? Who the hell does that?"

"The guy you love, apparently."

"That's not the point, Tony, that's unimportant because you nearly got hurt. Christ, Coulson will slaughter me if there's a scratch on you, and then your mom would be sad and I'd be sad because, what would I do without you? And don't you ever do that again, I can't take it. I am not losing you, Tony. God, why would you do that, risk so much on-"

"On you? Babe, I'd do it again. Ok, not the right thing to say based on the whole face thing you got going on right now. But just hear me out. Don't, stop hitting me, ow, why are you hitting, how are you this strong, Jesus. Ow, stop it. Peter, for fuck's sakes, I love you, you animal. Now please let go of the jacket, it'll get wrinkles."

His hands unclasp the soft cotton, Tony falling back with a groan and Peter's unhinged jaw snapping shut after fifteen seconds of letting the flies in.

It's a wonderful thing, hearing the guy he's loved for so long say it back, say he loves Peter.

It's also fucking stupid since there's even more reason to not do stunts like that.

"You're an idiot. I'm in love with a guy that has one shared brain cell with Steve. You could have been hurt, Tony. And what would that have done, huh?"

His boyfriend sighs yet again, wraps an arm around Peter to push them from the ground and heads to the car where their friends are gawking. He waves them off, offers a "Yeah, I know I'm amazing, no, I didn't break anything, T'challa, yes, I can play, Jesus, Rogers, I can read you like a book. I appreciate the worry, Bruce; Nat, thanks for calming him down. Rhodes, excellent driving. No need to hog the seats, Sam, we need to settle in. Peter, you can keep cursing me out if you, yeah, see how it's nice being fun size when you fit in my lap in a car full of people. What, I'm not walking after that, I don't care if it's til we reach the parking. Let's go, Rhodes. Pepper, I'm fine. "

Clint offers a high five. Tony responds and that's that. Out of sight, Ned gives him a fist bump and MJ keeps on reading her book. It could just be his imagination, but Tony's sure she's smiling, approval clear on her face. He preens, glad to have her blessing, and settles his head on Peter's fluffy hair.

-----

When they're all laughing in a booth, smashed together and picking food off of everyone's plate, Peter nuzzles the crook of his neck, holds his hand and squeezes it. Tony smiles, lights up and shoves at Sam's face when the trio of best friends tease him for puffing his chest out when his boyfriend ever so softly says, "I love you."

"I love you, too." The table whoops and calls for another round of food and Coca-Cola, their family grinning at them and fondly teasing the new couple. Tony grins back, high on this feeling of warmth and happiness and safety and love.

And then Peter presses ice cold lips onto his neck and he lets out a shout, pain coursing through him when a knee slams into the table. His eyes water and through the haze of agony he sees their friends exchanging cash, some grumbling and others smirking. Rhodey and MJ, he notes, are the ones that win the most. They high five before pocketing the cash and ordering dessert.

Peter kisses his cheek, smile innocent and eyes wicked. It's his own fault Tony snatches an ice cube and slips it below his Nirvana shirt. He only has five seconds to lord his victory over Peter before there's ice cream being smeared on his cheek. They battle then, accidentally sending food into Wanda's lap, Clint's hair and Bucky's face.

In less than a minute they are all covered in shawarma and participating in the fight. Peter shrieks when Tony pulls him into his lap, gets chicken on the varsity jacket and tries to wriggle away. But Tony kisses him, tastes ice cream and joy, thanks whoever decided to give him a break and find this incredible person dozing on the roof of the school with Ned and MJ one spring afternoon. Peter kisses back and, at the same time, they say, confidently, honestly,

"I love you."

This is dedicated to @drarryismyshit07

#my moodboards #peter parker x tony stark #peter parker #starker #tony stark #peter x tony #ironspider #young!tony #high school au #Highschool starker! #Soft!starker #Punk!Peter #Jock!Tony #Artsy!Peter #Excited!Tony #Exasperated!Rhodey #Rhodey #Steve Rogers #Bruce Banner #Natasha Romanoff #Clint Barton #T'Challa #Shuri #Wanda Maximoff #Bucky Barnes #Sam Wilson #Pepper Potts #Nick Fury

[toomanyfandoms02]

Memories // Matthew Gray Gubler x Reader

Sixth blurb request! For @paniconthepitch Requests are still open!

I know this was suppose to be a blurb, but I got carried away soooo :) enjoy that.

I really like this one guys

Summary - Readers boyfriend breaks up with her and she heads to Matthews house, where she recalls all the times she knew she was in love with Matthew.

Word Count - 2.7k

Prompts - "Just shut up and kiss me." & "I need a place to stay."

You know those days where you think they are going so well, and suddenly, the worst possible outcome of the day happens?

That was today for me.

After such a great date night, I didn't quite imagine myself walking down my boyfriends street crying.

Or should I say ex-boyfriend.

I trudged down the road, my fists clenched at my sides and head held as low as it could physically go without detaching from my body. I knew that moving in with him was a risky move, but I didn't have much choice. I had been kind of couch surfing for a while and he offered to let me stay at his house. A stable roof over my head.

Or so I thought.

Now here I was, heading in no particular direction with only a small suitcase dragging behind me, a wallet in my hand and a phone in my pocket. I had been walking for about 20 minutes. Turning down random streets, not really paying attention to what was happening. Here's another question for ya.

Have you ever heard of the saying, 'When it rains it pours.'?

Well I have. And I am currently experiencing it. Just as I turned onto what seemed to be the first familiar street I had seen in the past 20 minutes, it started *raining*. But not just sprinkling, no, I wasn't that lucky. It was a total downpour.

I looked up at the green sign above me.

*Oakland Street*

That was Matthew's street!

See, Matthew and I had been friends for a long time. I considered him family. His mom and my mom were great friends, and still are. She visits Marilyn still. But I rarely see him anymore, he's always busy filming which is completely understandable. And now your probably thinking.

*If he was such a good friend, why didn't you ask him for help when you were couch surfing?*

Well the short answer is that I was embarrassed of being basically homeless. I look up to him and I didn't want him thinking I was a lost cause or helpless little girl.

But I had no choice now.

I trudged up to his door in my now soaked clothes. I was still crying, despite me *really* trying to hold it together.

It was 9:38 and I was hoping he was still up. Chances are he was, judging by the many sleepovers we had in the past where he would stay up until 4 am. I knocked softly on the door, backing up a few steps from it. I wiped my face a little, trying to dry it from tears and raindrops, but miserably failing.

The door opened slowly to reveal Matthew in plaid pajama pants and a white tee. As expected, he was holding a cup of coffee, which he quickly set down on a table near the door.

"Y/n?" He tilted his head, not coming out of the doorway. I was sure I looked like quite the mess right now. Soaked clothes, flushed face, messy hair, exactly what I *didn't* want him to see.

"I need a place to stay." I was now looking down, tears welling up in my eyes again from sheer embarrassment. I could feel my fists clenching together, nails sure to leave bruises in my hand.

"Come in, come in." He waved me in. I kept my head down as I walked through his door. "Are you alright? What happened?" I had a problem with Matthew where I just couldn't lie to him, it had been like that all our lives. He was so hard to keep things from, whether it was because he was my best friend or because it was so hard to look into those soft brown eyes and tell a lie.

"I've been living with Ben for a while, because I haven't exactly had enough money to keep up with rent payments... But he just broke up with me." I looked up to see pity written across his face. "Please don't look at me like that. I know it's pitiful." I leaned my head all the way back on his couch, staring at the ceiling.

"I'm not trying to show pity y/n, I'm just worried about you. Why didn't you tell me you were having troubles?" He put his hand on my knee, shaking it for an answer.

"Because I knew you would look at me like that!" I waved my hands around his face.

"Whatever you say. Just tell me what happened." As soon as I got a few words out, I was tearing up again.

*"I just don't understand Ben! I want to understand! You never talk to me anymore." I was gesturing wildly with my hands, something I had picked up from Matthew at a young age. I was trying to get my point across.*

*"I feel like I'm taking care of you y/n! I don't need a child I need a girlfriend!" His eyes held so much hate, much different from the soft green ones I had fallen for a few months ago.*

*"What are you even talking about? I just got a job Ben. I clean the house every week. I cook dinner for you, and I'm paying part of the rent! What more do you want from me?" I felt so confused and defeated, the longer I talked the quieter my words became. "If you want me to leave I will. Is this some sick, twisted way to say you don't love me anymore?" He went silent for a moment.*

*"I don't love you anymore." His arms hung heavy at his side. Are you kidding me?*

*"Did I do something wrong?"*

*"You're just, you're hard to love y/n." What the fuck is that suppose to mean?*

*"Fuck you Ben! I did nothing to you." I ran to our shared room, packing my suitcase and grabbing my charger and wallett from the side table. "You are a real piece of work." I could feel my body aching from mental exhaustion. "I'll be back to get the rest of my stuff another day." I stood by the door, grabbing the handle. "Hopefully if I'm so hard to love, I won't be so hard to get over."*

"And that was the last thing I said to him." Matthews thumb wiped a tear from my cheek. "I'm sorry, I'm such a mess."

"You don't have to apoligize for having emotions y/n. I'm here for you, always." He had first said this to me when we were in middle school, I thought that was the sweetest thing a teenage boy could say. "You can stay here as long as you want, I miss seeing you around anyway." He smiled, pushing some hair behind my ear. I set my head on his shoulder. It was really hard talking to him about this stuff. I think the real reason it was so hard to lie to him, was because it's hard to lie to someone you are *so* in love with.

Matthew seemed to be out of reach my whole life. It wasn't that he was massively popular, or that we were part of different cliques. It was really just because I thought he could never see me as anything more than a friend.

When I was 13, that's when I fell in love with him. I just didn't know it at the time.

*"Y/n this is so great! I can't believe I got the lead!" Spencer was spinning in my swivel chair that sat at my desk.*

* "I've always told you that you we're good at acting. Maybe you'll be an actor?"*

*No way! I'm gonna be a lawyer or something." He nearly fell from the chair laughing, as if the proposition of being an actor was so out of this world. There was a sparkle in his eye that I had never seen before. It was so refreshingly different from the days he had come to me after school, telling me that some assholes were pushing him around.*

*"I'm so happy for you, you're gonna do amazing! You better not leave me when you're famous." I shoved his shoulder playfully. That was truly a joke, but I could feel, deep in my subconscious, I was afraid that maybe he would.*

*"I would never!" And he didn't.*

But I couldn't do anything about how I felt.

"I don't wanna be a burden on you." I had stopped crying, but I was still slumped on the couch like a wet rag, *literally*.

"You could never be a burden on me. Here." He handed me a picture frame from his side table. It was of me and him when were were 22, it was a surprise party I threw for him. "Do you remember this?"

"How could I forget the first time I got you drunk?" And the night I realized I was in love with you *for sure*.

*Matthew had refused to get drunk on his 21st birthday. He was so responsible that it was nearly infuriating. So when he texted me telling me that someone came up to him on the street and offered him a modelling job, I knew I had to throw a party. Just me him and some of our friends.*

*I led him into my house with 4 of our other friends there. There was a seemingly illegal amount of liquor on my dining room table.*

*"Oh no! Y/n no, you're not gonna get me drunk!" He looked down at me disapprovingly. I stuck my bottom lip out, and gave him puppy dog eyes.*

*"Please Matthew? Just one time? I wanna know what kind of drunk you are." My puppy face turned into a slightly mischievous one.*

*"What kind of drunk I am?"*

*"Yeah! Like sad drunk, funny drunk, angry drunk, sleepy, reckless, philosophical. I wanna know!" I giggled, dragging him over to the table and already pouring him a shot.*

*"Fine, just one time."*

*And I did find out what kind of drunk he was.*

*A lovey drunk.*

*"Brian. You are the coolest person I know!" Matthew slurred, leaning over to our mutual friend. "And Katie is the funniest." He pointed to Katie. "And you! You are my favorite person in the whole world, you know that?" He was now laying in my lap, his head looking up at me.*

*"You are a mess." I laughed, patting his cheek.*

*"I am not a mess! I'm totally coherent! I love you so much! Look at you!" He sat up, kissing my cheek. I'm glad he was drunk because I didn't want him to remember the dark shade of red my cheeks turned afterward.*

*I loved this man, and it was kicking me in the ass.*

"A lovey drunk you called me." He chuckled as I gripped the frame.

"Do you remember all the things you said that night?" I half smiled, remembering the kiss om my cheek.

"Not really, to this day I live in blissful ignorance."

"Well today is the day you know." I giggled, crossing my legs on the couch and facing him.

"Wait! Before you tell me of all the dumb things I did that night, let me get you some dry clothes." He stood from the couch, heading to his room.

"Thank you!"

He came back holding and NYU hoodie and some sweatpants. I snatched them from his arms with a big smile and headed to the bathroom to change.

The only time before that I had worn his clothes was freshman year after an asshole from school pushed me in the mud while we were on our way to study at Matthew's.

*Matthew and I were walking side by side on the walkway, talking about random things.*

*"If you do get a cat, what are you gonna name it?" Matthew asked, keeping his eyes forward.*

*"I think I would name it Leo. After Leonardo DiCaprio, he's a dreamboat." He looked at me with an eyebrow raised.*

*"Really? That dork?"*

*"Says you! You're a huge dork!" I nudged him into the road with a laugh.*

*Just then I heard loud and fast footsteps coming from behind us. Suddenly large hands were shoving me into the nearest mud puddle. I gasped at the cold liquid that was soaking through my jeans and yellow shirt.*

*"Nice outfit y/n!" The asshole laughed, running down the sidewalk.*

*"Fuck you Ricky!" Matthew threw up his middle finger and helped me out of the mud. "Come on, I'll give you some clothes at my house."*

*When we arrived he handed me sweatpants and a Nirvana shirt. I changed into it and Matthew probably laughed for 10 minutes straight. I was pretty short around that time, and Matthew had just had his growth spurt. To make a long story short, I was swimming in those clothes.*

I was now staring at myself in the mirror, wishing I had the chance to get use to the feeling of wearing his clothes.

"Okay! Time to remember an embarrassing night Gube!" I shouted, feeling far better now that I was in warm clothes. I plopped onto the seat, scooting next to Matthew. "Alright. Now what do you wanna know first?" I set my chin in the palm of my hand.

"So, what exactly is your definition of a lovey drunk?" He mimicked my position.

"A drunk who is very kind. They are constantly complimenting everyone around them and expressing their love and fondness. Can even turn a sad or angry drunk to a happy one." I shrugged.

"Okay, fair enough. What did I say that night?" I smiled evily.

"Ok, well, you told Brian that he was the coolest person ever. And Katie was labelled the funniest ever. You gave Mallory ten bucks for all the advice she had given you in the past. And you hugged Alex for around 5 minutes straight." The image of Matthew swaying with Alex was clear in my memory like it happened yesterday. He threw his head back him laughter, his face reddening with slight embarrassment.

"Did I say anything to you?" He stared into my eyes like he was going to find the words there before they came from my mouth. I rubbed my hands together.

"Uh, yeah. You told me that I was your favorite person in the whole world." He smiled at that. "And then I told you that you were a mess. But you informed me, so graciously, that you were *not a mess* and *totally coherent*. Then proceeded to say 'I love you so much! Look at you!' And you kissed my cheek." I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks, I was now looking down at my hands.

"Well you are my favorite person in the world," He tilted my chin up with his hand. "still. Maybe I'm an honest drunk."

"What's that suppose to mean?" I cocked my head to the side.

"Maybe I'm an honest drunk who was just sober enough to be too nervous to kiss you on the lips?" It came out as a question, I wasn't sure if he was genuinly asking a question or he was saying that that is *exactly* what happened. I'm hoping for the latter.

"What do you-" I was interrupted by his hand grabbing my chin.

"Just shut up and kiss me." He brought my lips to his, and of course I didn't hesitate at all to kiss back.

I ran my hands through those curls that I loved so much. His hands gripped my hips as I leaned into him more, I was so afraid that this was going to be a dream.

Like it was so many other times.

As he pulled away I kept my eyes closed, still hoping that it actually happened.

"Hey, are you okay?" He patted the side of my face lightly.

"Yeah, more than okay. How long?"

"Since we were 20. You?"

"Sometime in middle school." I snickered.

"Well either way, far too long." He put his finger under my chin again, bringing me into another kiss.

*Thanks Ben*

#mgg #criminal minds #spencer reid #matthew gray gubler x reader #matthew gray gubler #matthewgraygubler #mgg fic #mgg fanfiction #mgg x reader #mgg fluff #MGG

[fairlylocaldreamer]

Truce (Tommy Conlon one shot)

Warning: mentions of self harm, suicide

Darkness... This one and only word perfectly described his world for last two years. Even though his room was whole white and bright, in his mind everything was dark, full of misery and chaos. They kept saying, that their order and timetable might keep his mind occupied, that he might forget and start over... Again. No, not this time. This time he got too far, he felt the end so close to him. He felt it, just few more seconds and it could all be over. But damn, that stupid annoying nurse had to ruin it all.

It all started with the death of his mother when he was just a little baby. Then the endless argues and fighting with his father, all because he wanted to be different, he wanted to be himself. So he left, not only his father, but also his brother. His brother, who couldn't simply say no to their dad.

"Hello, Tommy," voice interrupted him from thinking, "it is time for your time in the gardens." Nurse in white clothes stood in his room. That damn white colour, that was driving him crazy. He had to chuckle - driving me crazy. He wouldn't even think, it was possible to be more crazy, than he already was.

"I don't want to go outside," Tommy whispered.

"I wasn't asking, Tom. It was an annoucement," she said and literally pulled him out of his bed, put his shoes on and got him out of his room like a little child. Sun burnt to his eyes immediately, he covered his face and went toward the huge tree in the middle of the garden. He sat there everyday, dreaming, how he could hang himself there. He never mentioned it, he's never shared this with his doctor. He had feeling, that he wasn't listening anyway. He looked around, watched another patients. All dressed in white clothes... Damn, that cursed painful white. He realized, that a voice is coming to him from distance.

"Tommy, did you hear, what I told you?" nurse asked, standing next to him.

"No," he closed his eyes and stopped listening again. He hated her annoying face, her eyes watching him, like he was a burden. You shouldn't save me, when you found me that night. In a pool of my own blood... I loved that deep red colour, it was so comforting, so calming as I watched it running out of my veins, killing the white devil around me.

"Why are you smiling?" smooth unfamiliar woman's voice echoed in his ears and goosebumps appeared on his skin. He opened his eyes and looked next to him.

"Hi," woman smiled at him. Pale skin, eyes green and shining, brown long hair messily flying in the soft wind around her face and shoulders. 

"Hi," he said quietly and gazed at her.

"Why were you smiling?" she repeated her question.

"I... I don...  Did I?" he asked.

"Yes," she chuckled. "It was half crazy, half sobber smile. So I just want to know, what did you think about?"

"Are... Are you real?" Tom asked and covered his face with hands.

"I don't know," she frowned, "you tell me," and she pinched him in his arm.

"Ouch!" he looked at her in disbelief, eyes widely open.

"So, am I?"

"I think you are," he said and smirked.

Sitting next to him, leaning against the tree same way he was... For next few minutes in silence. "This spot is the best in the whole garden," she said looking around.

"Yes, I like it here..." Tommy smiled and tore one daisy from the ground.

"Don't throw it away," she stopped him, when she saw, he wanted to throw it back on ground.

"Do you want it?"

"Yes."

He gave it to her and she put it in her hair.

"How do I look?" she smiled and her eyes sparkled.

"Beautiful," he whispered dreamily, surprised that he still had this word in his vocabulary. "Great," he rolled his eyes, when his nurse appeared. 

"It is time to go back, Tommy" she said and he stood up.

"Hmmm, so Tommy," he heard woman's voice repeating his name. 

"And you are?" he just whispered almost timidly, maybe because he wasn't absolutely sure, that someone was actually sitting there.

"Alycia," she smiled, "see you tomorrow, Tommy."

Her voice caresssed his broken soul like a warm scarf in the cold winter. "You saw her too.... right?" He asked his nurse anyway. 

"Yes, don't worry," she sighed.

Alycia didn't come... He was waiting under the mighty tree, he hoped and he felt betrayed. I wish, you were just in my mind, he thought and his eyes watched garden with all the patients and nurses dressed in that damn burning white clothes. Back at his room, hidden under the blanket, he began to cry, silently so no one knew, no one heard. But suddenly door of his room opened. Oh, come on, leave me be for fuck's sake, you old ugly witch - he thought and hid even more under the blanket.

"I can see you, you know that, right?" velvet voice said, laughing.

"Alycia?" he sat on his bed, watched her surprised.

"Shhh," she put her finger on her lips, "I am here secretly. Move a little, please," she said and sat next to him on his bed. "Hi," she smiled.

"Hey," he frowned and chuckled at the same time.

"What?" she smirked.

"I thought, you won't come, but I certainly didn't expect this," he whispered and his eyes were brighter.

"Well, I had to take care about something during the day. And now I went to main nurse and I asked her, if I can see you, and she was like... No, visitors can see our patients only during visitors hours and that ended two hours ago," she said and Tommy had to laugh, she imitated voice of main nurse perfectly.

"So how did you get here?"

"I waited and when she left, I found number of your room in card file."

"Why?" he suddenly asked serious.

"Because I promised you..." she looked at him with look in her eyes, like there was absolutely no reason to not believe, she would ever break her promises. "Do you want to talk or do you want to sit here in silence?" she leaned against the cold headboard.

"I want to be silent," he said, "but I would like you to tell me something. Anything..."

"Okay, so..." Next hour she spent talking and telling him everything, that came to her mind. Maybe she was all dressed in black, but she had the most colourfull mind from all the peole he has ever met. Wearing black, it was some sort of self - defense. She was hurt few times, mentaly absused and one day she realized, that people are afraid of the black colour. So she began to wear it, everyday. She loved to play to piano and singing, she loved reading and sitting in the meadow full of flowers. She loved listening to the sound of silence, too. Because in the silence her deepest thoughts were appearing and she truly could recognise herself. He listened to her and he found himself in her. He found him in her stories, in her descriptions.

"Shit," her eyes got wide suddenly, when she heard someone coming to his room. She got from his bed and ran to hide herself next to the doorway - so when Tommy's nurse appeared in his room, she stood silently behind it.

"How do you feel, Tommy?" nurse asked him.

"Great," he smiled and her jaw dropped from surprise.

"Uhmmm, what? What did you just say?"

"I said, I feel great," he smiled and took pills from her hand and ate them.

"Okay, you have no idea, how glad I am, that you said something like that," she winked and walked away.

"Oh, do you want me to switch off the lights?" she asked.

"Yes, please," he said.

"I almost began to giggle," Alycia stood there and watched him. Even though there was dark in his room now, he could tell, that her eyes sparkled. Her long dress made her look like a ghost from a horror story - standign in his room, watching him and slowly coming back to him.

"Why ar you even here? I mean... You know..." 

"My mom," she said. "She has no idea, that I'm her daughter, she doesn't recognize me anymore. She found my dad lying in a bed, gun in his hand. He shot himself in their bedroom... And she lost her mind, when she was lying there with his corpse for next two days."

"I am so sorry," Tom was breathing heavily. "Who found her?"

"Me," she whispered and that was the last word she told him for long. They didn't sleep, they just layed beside each other and looked in the eyes. "I have to go, before some nurse finds me here," she whispered, when the sun sent its first rays in his room. "I will join you in the garden, okay?"

"Why me?" he asked.

"Because I saw the light in your smile, even thought there was a lot of darkness. And because you didn't run away, when you saw me," she chuckled.

"Alycia," tears suddenly appeared in his eyes, "I don't think we should see each other again. You don't deserve being near someone like me. I can't do this to you. You deserve much better. You saw the light? I was thinking about all the blood that leaked from me, when I tried to killed myself last time. That is why I was smiling, because I was thinking about that feeling, that I had, when the life was slowly leaving my body. I just want to be alone... I should be alone..."

"I deserve you as much you deserve me," she took his hands and put them in hers. She had tiny small hands compared to his big ones, but to him it felt, like she hugged him. "Don't you try to scare me away. Please..."

"But what if I... I don't want you to come here one day and find out, that I..."

"Then don't..." she suddenly pressed her lips to his and kissed him gently. "For me," she whispered and locked her green eyes with his. "Aren't you curious how do I look without make-up? How does my voice sound in the morning? Don't you wanna see me playing the piano, hear singing your favourite song? Don't you wish to hold me naked in your arms, make love to me, kiss my body?" He watched her, hugged her, pushed her closer to him, breathed in her scent. She felt his heartbeat on her chest, his hot breath on her neck. "Let's be alone together. For the rest of rest of our lifes. I am not afraid. I can beat those demons inside you, I can silence them, I can drown them, burn them with my light. Just give me a chance..."

She spent next half year visiting him, creeping secretly into his room. Sometimes they sat in silence, other days they talked for hours. And the day he was leaving the hospital, she was wearing beautiful red dress and red lipstick. Standing in front of the gate, leaning against black car. "That's yours?" Tommy asked with impressed voice and she nodded and came to kiss him. They left hospital and she drove to her flat. And he stayed. Because he was curious, how does her voice sound in the morning, he wanted to find out, how does she look naked, without make-up. He wanted to hear her singing and playing his favourite song. Her fingers moved so fluently, so lightly. Daisy flower behind her ear, he put it there in the morning, when they were lying in the middle of flowery meadow. She was playing his song, singing. He watched her red nail-polish on her pale hands. Covered just in blanket, her shoulders surrounded by her long brown hair.

His demons have never left completely. Sometimes they appeared and tried to break him down. But she always saw it and realized it sooner than him. And she always fought and silenced them. Whenever he had bad feeling, she let him forget by drowning in her green eyes and her whispering voice. 

And when she gave a birth to a beautiful girl, he promised, that he will always keep fighting and he will never betray them. 

And he kept that promise.

He stayed alive...

For them...

For himself...

#tom hardy #tomhardy #fanfiction #tom hardy fanfiction #tommy conlon #alycia debnam carey #tom hardy one shot #tommy conlon one shot #tommy conlon imagine #tom hardy imagine

[belehakalife]

Okay, finally back to finish my MinnCon recap!

I realized I never actually wrote about my photo ops on Saturday, despite putting the pictures up.

Honestly, it went by so fast that it's a bit of a blur, but it was awesome! I got to hug Rachel! And Ruth! And I got a great picture with Kim & Briana! Four amazing ladies that I didn't really know a whole lot about before this weekend, but they have now gained another fan for life. Seriously. Awesome.

So, got half of my photo ops on Saturday, other half on Sunday.

First thing Sunday morning, photo op with Rich! Because I just had to buy one after my Karaoke Selfie with him and Briana didn't work out.

Me: "Can I have a hug?"

Rich: "You may!"

I know everyone always talks about how amazing Jared's hugs are (and they speak truth!!), but seriously guys, look at that picture! Does that not look like an awesome hug? Because it really, really was. 😊

So then I went to wait in line for the auditorium to open. Sat down and started talking with the girl in line behind me - I wish I could remember her name, we ended up sitting next to each other and hanging out most of the day, but I only asked her name once, and now I can't remember! I think it started with an M, and I remember thinking it was a really pretty name.

Anyway, if you happen to see this, Sunday con friend from Shakopee who goes to the U and has a pretty name that I think starts with M, I would love to stay in touch! I meant to exchange contact info before we left and then I forgot. 😞

Loved the beginning of Ruth's panel! Hoping to see the rest of it online, because then I had to go get in line for my photo op with Jared.

And oh my gosh, I was shaking! Which surprised me a bit, because it seems like a lot of times when I think I'm going to be nervous about something, I end up being strangely calm. Yeah, not this time. Shaking.

I was glad I had my little note to give to Jared, because I know I would not have been able to get the words out. I was having a hard time even explaining the note to the volunteer/staff person when I got to the front of the line. She saw the notecard and asked if I had written down my pose and I said no, it's a note. So she wanted me to give it to the handler and they'd make sure Jared got it, and I couldn't get the words out to explain, "No, I'm autistic and this is my way of communicating right now because I know I'm not going to be able to get the words I want to come out of my mouth."

But! The line was moving quickly and I ended up being able to hand the note to Jared. (Although now I'm totally doubting myself and afraid that I did the wrong thing and what if the note was too personal or too heavy and what if I broke the rules about no personal stories without meaning to and they think I'm one of those fans who just thinks the rules don't apply to me and......)

And once again, it's all kind of a blur, but he read the note and told me he was proud of me, and he hugged me (and he really, really does give amazing hugs!!):

And then I do clearly remember his hand on the back of my head, ruffling my hair a bit, and he told me that he was proud of me again. 😊😊😊

And I was still kind of shaking as I walked away, but I was also so happy because I got to hug Jared and thank him for AKF and let him know just a little bit of how SPN and AKF have helped me, and he told me he was proud of me!!!

And that was secretly the one thing I really wanted to hear from him. I really wanted to hear that he was proud of me, and I actually got to hear that and it meant so much.

Back up to the auditorium then, and thanks to my new friend for saving my seat! 💜

Mark Pellegrino's panel was next. I'm not really a huge fan, to be honest he kind of creeps me out. For those of you who like him, that's cool, you do you, you won't be getting any hate from me, but I don't really have anything to say here.

Finally, it was time for Jared & Jensen's panel It was awesome and hilarious and I laughed so much. Especially at Jared's bad jokes. Bad jokes are my favorite kind of jokes, and he told a bunch of them!

(Sidenote, one thing I love about my family is that we have pretty much all read Garrison Keillor's "Pretty Good Joke Book" enough times that if one of us starts telling a joke, someone else will finish it and we'll just start rapid-fire telling all these awesome bad jokes and it's the most hilarious thing. One of my personal favorites? "What's brown and sticky?" (A stick) OR. Another one: "What's orange and sounds like a parrot?" (A carrot.) 😂 Okay, I'm going to stop now because I keep thinking of more and they're just not as funny when you read them.)

Anyway. I'm so bad at remembering everything that was said, but it was a really good time, and I know it's up on YouTube for anyone who wasn't there (or anyone who *was* there and just wants to relive it like me 😜)

Then I went to go grab some food, because I was *really* hungry.

And then it was time for my J2M photo op! And so I was shaking again. Not quite as bad this time, but still. Was having a hard time talking, but I managed to say something like, "I just really want a hug!" And so I got a hug from the guys and I look kind of ridiculous because I had no idea what to do with my hands so I'm just like... standing there...but it was still awesome. 😁

Then I hung out for a while, waiting for my photo to be ready to pick up. Browsed the vendor booths and bought a bunch more stuff.

Eventually picked up my last picture and then it was time to go. And I really didn't want to. There were a couple other people standing by the door feeling the same way - "Once we go out these doors, it's over..." so that helped a bit. Knowing I wasn't the only one having a hard time leaving.

But eventually we all walked out the door and I went back to my car and headed home. I had said that I *might* stop by my parents' house on the way, but then I had a little talk with myself (out loud) while I was driving that went something like this:

"Now, I know you told them you might stop over, but you said *might*! You do not have to. And you are not going to, because it's a BAD IDEA. You are going to go home and you are going to relax, and you are going to skip going to mom and dad's house because it's a BAD IDEA. I know you feel like it's a good idea right now, because you're really excited and you feel like you have to share that with someone, but they are not going to share your excitement. You know what's going to happen if you go over there? They will probably ask about how much money you spent, and even if you don't tell them, they will lecture you about how much money you spent, and they will *not* get it, and you will end up feeling like shit! So you know what? Let's NOT DO THAT! We are going to go home and we are going to be happy and we are going to go on the internet where people will actually get it and share in the excitement. So there." (I think there were also some "Fuck that!"s thrown in there too, because Kim and Briana's language kinda rubbed off on me a little bit, which is totally not a bad thing! 😜)

So I did the smart self-caring thing and went home, and it was a good decision.

Also, I made a Twitter at some point in the past few days, because going to MinnCon kind of brought me out of my shell just a little bit and I really want to keep moving in that direction and actually interacting with people instead of hiding and lurking. So, twitter.com/belehakalife if anyone wants to look me up! 💜

#minncon 2018 #minncon #spnminn

[blorbosexterminator]

Sup, hon, how you doing?

And thank you so much, Nada. I really love the compliment 😍

(Tbh, Benedict's and Robert's names were an easter egg 😏 Heres a clue, they both played a same character, and I have read almost all the books of that character and I am a big fan)

And in 10 days I am gonna miss reading this telenova too 😞

Alright, Time to Review the season finale aka ep 20 :

"It’s none of your business—”

“It is! And you get in my business all the time,”

I mean, Daniel's got a point, though 🤷‍♀️

Every child to their parent 👆

It’s not a big deal, he just wanted her to watch someone—”

“Yes, of course. That’s how it starts. I should have never brought you to work here.”

😧😧😧😧😧😧😧😧 THE FUCK?! Nada, I am always too afraid watch horror movies and you are scaring me right now.

But also, me waiting for the cat to come outta the bag :

RAQUEL!!!!! 😱😱😱 NO!!!! 😱😱😱 FUCKING HELL, MOM & DAUGTHER KIDNAPPED?!?!

FUCK YOU, KIDNAPPER & WHOEVER WAS FOLLOWING MARTIN, FUCK YOU!!!! MAY YOU ROT IN HELL & GET FRIED IN HOT BOILING OIL.

(Possibility 1 : If only Raquel & Paula got kidnapped, then, I think, Arturo is involved & hired someone for this

Possibility 2 : If everyone got kidnapped, then there is a third party involved and we get introduced to a new character or the aforementioned resurrected person (idk why this lady kept the resurrection tag, when there's no one to be resurrected)

Possibility 3 : Gotta wait for Nada to upload and find out 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣)

Sergio turned slowly, Martín was leaning against the tree’s bark

Me : *cricket noises*

Me 5 mins later :

🎶I'm a bitch, I'm a boss

I'm a bitch and a boss, I'ma shine like gloss 😎😎😎😎😎🎶

Boss bitçh by Doja Cat

(Also, my dear, you said you wanted a new song daily, not where to include it 😏😏😏😏😏)

MARTIN KILLED TATIANA & HER SON?!?!?!?

"Not for the money. I won't lie to you, it was strange to me how he didn't care for it at all, as if it were only your right to have everything, but this, he was more than willing to give everything up for you."

"Oh, you don't know? For running back to your father like a puppy, after he gave up his youth for you."

That's really messed up. You know, you trust someone, love someone, sacrifice nearly everything for them & they betray you, that feeling? That ruins you, makes you blame yourself even though you did nothing wrong.

Sergio, I. AM. NOT. HAPPY with what you did. Seriously, I may hate him for petty reasons, but this, you lost all of my respect asshole.

"You're stupider than I thought you would be if you think Andrés needs to tell me anything, hermano. I know him like the back of my hand."

THAT IS TRUE LOVE RIGHT THERE, YOUR HONOUR. NOT THE CHEESY 'I LOVE YOU'S BUT KNOWING WHAT YOUR SO IS FEELS WITHOUT SAYING A WORD.

Gotta love Martin's sarcasm tho, 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Spot on 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

"His son,” he repeated, “my nephew.”

“Oh, you had him for what? 5 months?” he chuckled, “dramatic family.”

Listen up Martin, I love you but 5 months?!?! Really, you fucking bastard 😡😡😡😡 I have a 3 month old nephew, I havent even met him (yes, Nada 5yo niece and her 3 month old brother) and I can & I will cut anyone who would even think of looking at him wrong.

Sergio & Martin in ep 20 :

Sergio : I'll ruin you, you fucking sick demented son of a bitch 😡😡😡😡

Senor Martin Berrote :

Sergio :

Martin : 😏😏😏😏😏

Damn, Martin's got some excellent points. Such a fucking shame Rodrigo de la Serna didnt get be the lead of s3 & s4 in lcpd and in Dr. Strange.

“Tell me, Sergio, brother to brother, if you had to choose between the two girls, if you can save only o—”

Aw come on, if I was Sergio, given the option, I would choose everyone rather than Silene (except Arturo, Alberto, Angel, Alicia & Gandia) Even Prieto and Tamayo are better options than Silene.

“Fine. Fine. Is it a deal then?” Martín reached out his hand. 

After a moment, Sergio shook it.

You know, I am getting a deja vu, I dont k-

Last time Sergio shook hands with Martin-

SERGIO BETRAYED MARTIN, THE GENIUS PLAN GOT FUCKING SCRAPPED, MARTIN GOT HIS HEART BROKEN, ANDRES WENT PSYCHO AND DIED, MARTIN DIED WITH HIM ON THE INSIDE!!!!!!!! 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱

Nada, Oh my God, I am scared. What if history repeats itself ?!?!?!? 😱😱😱

Currently preparing to get killed by the coming heat-wave, but other than that pretty fine, thank you. How are you doing?

For a second there I thought you meant that Dr. Strange and Tony Stark are very similar or something then I remembered that the Sherlock movie thing happened at one point of time.

He does, in a way.

The wait won't be long. And this isn't gonna turn into horror any time soon lmfao, don't worry.

They deserve it. And love all your theories, hope you'll like it when it shows up.

'Idk why this lady keeps the resurrection tag, when there is no one to be resurrected' idk either, what an asshole.

You are! You guessed right!

(and fair yes)

Did he or did he not? That is the question.

I'm happy you feel for Andrés. You have every right to, although I'm sure he had his reasons. (I say, as if i weren't the one who made those reasons up)

I'm nothing if not a writer of top tier romance (I say as if I weren't the one making characters completely fuck up the lives of their significant others)

Thank you! So glad you like it.

That's family right there for you folks! Hope you meat your nephew soon. I'm sure he's a great kid.

Okay those three memes are perfect. Loved the 'come to bargain' and the chandler one especially. Really capture the moment.

I know, right! He really is persuasive. Okay Rodrigo de la Serna as Dr. Strange is an image™ thank you for that.

You've really got beef with Silene, don't you? She's not a bad kid all things considered. Gave her mother a heart attack yes, but like in the grand scale.

Avsjsjsvjsjs you've really went down a moment™ there. Sorry for the scare, will history repeat itself or will it not? That is the (second) question.

Thank you Kal!

#also sorry for how late that is #I get super delirious in that heat agsnsj #but really really loved that one #A Spanish Tale #Ramadan Telenovela

[kittlyns]

If I ever come back to NYC, I'm coming alone.

#this is a small vent post so u can just ignore #this man has made my trip so unpleasant and unenjoyable #I'm only 2 days in. I have until Friday. and I'm already miserable. #I can't have fun. I can't fucking do anything cuz he gets tired or upset or some bullshit #and my mom won't do anything without him. so I'm like. fucking great. so glad I've spent like $700 to get here for nothing. #One of the events I paid $200 for? the one that wasn't canceled? I had to leave early. #cuz he was worried we would get robbed after dark in NY. #I'm just. so pissed #I am the whole reason we are in NYC. and I had to fucking leave one of the events I came here for to further my education #bc he was tired #I fucking told them they'd do this shit to me #I told them to take a fucking taxi or an uber back to the bus stop #I told them I'd be fine #'noooo we can't go without u what if something happens?' *proceeds to blow up my phone about how we need to leave before dark knowing #damn well my event ended at 7:30* I left right before 6. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤡🤡🤡🤡 #and then they got mad at me for being upset #I just can't fucking do this lmfaooo #I get opportunities and I let my family hold me back from them #and it's never gonna fucking stop is it #they're never gonna respect what I want #even when I pay for the trip 🤷🏻‍♀️ #anyways I wanna cry but that's just cuz im on my period hahahaaaa #k I'm gonna go post some pics on Instagram so it looks like I had a great time for my boss :)

[existentialstatesofmind]

Opening Up

Clare: made a face. “Sounds like a punishment. Was she trying to educate you or prove some point? I don’t think my mom is willing to go there. She answered some questions I had last year and it was actually more uncomfortable for her.” She nodded when Kota mentioned Skins. “Oh right, I have watched Skins and Game of Thrones is another one full of nudity. I don’t mind cute boy butts but I could do without gratuitous sex scenes.” Clare closed her eyes when it got to be too much. “I like crab so that would be okay. Not necessarily! I eat seafood just not fish. I won’t be the only one. Someone else will try it and not like it.” Clare protested. What were the odds a group of Canadians were all going to love raw fish? She couldn’t even stomach fried fish! “I’m fine with cooking it though. I’ve never thrown up from the smell alone.” She smiled at the mention of having weekends without Emi. “I hope she doesn’t forget about us.” Clare chuckled knowing how many friends Emi had left behind in Japan. She talked about them a lot. “Can I demand date nights?” Clare asked curiously. “Good point. I place more importance on stuff like kissing and cuddling since it’s all we’re doing right now. K.C did not.” She shrugged. “I wouldn’t kiss another guy unless it was part of an act. Probably not even to make you jealous.” Clare hoped she wouldn’t have a reason to test that theory. “Of course I’d like to be a waitress! Thanks.” She gave exaggerated groan at Kota’s insistence it was cute. “No way.” Clare looked at her boyfriend in askance. “I have to keep track of how much money I’m spending! Somewhat at least. Dad’s not going to ask for receipts, it will just show up somewhere. Credit card statements, how much I withdraw from his bank account…” Her voice trailed off. “If you’re talking about buying me clothes, fine, I promise not to. I’ll trust you not to spoil me. What?!” Clare squealed in horror at the mention of dead turtles and other unthinkable things. There was no telling whether or not Emi’s mom would come back for her. If Emi left, she’d miss her and hope for visits. “I don’t want to hide our relationship. Not forever. We have to get them on board one step at a time. Then if they’re assholes about Emi...well. I’m not going to expose her to them. My parents wouldn’t have any problem with you raising your little cousin if you were in your 20s. They’re prejudiced against teenagers.” Clare grumbled. “I’m glad.” She whispered giving him one last lingering kiss. “Anything’s possible.” She insisted. “Kota being famous is news to me!” Clare nodded. “Ah. I’ve only been to Maine on ski vacations. I’m still working on going to New York. So my perspective is a bit skewed. Fashion’s dead last here. Kids at school still think they can just hassle Kota for Murder Bunny products. Music’s held in a higher regard.” She told Melanie. “Jimmy Fallon wears Murder Bunny? They do? Kota is?!” Clare looked like she’d been told the earth was flat after all. “Oh wow.” She looked at Kota as he explained about the fashion show and the lingerie line. She remembered the first time she slept over at his house and how Kota was baffled about Clare not wanting him to see her bra when she wasn’t even wearing it. He was desensitized. Her lips twitched as she suppressed hysterical laughter. Clare glared at her boyfriend a little at the mention of how he wouldn’t be touching model's breasts. There should never be a question of that. It wasn’t professional. The rest of it Clare had to accept must be part of his job as a designer. But she really, really didn’t like him seeing half naked women! After Melanie left to change, Clare continued to listen to Kota. Then gaped at the photo of Sia and the accompanying letter. “She’s so cute, I guess it really is her!” Not like Clare knew Sia’s handwriting. “Kota I don’t know what to say. Your life is crazy amazing.” She handed back his treasures. “You look great Melanie. It’s true. Our only local celebs are hockey players. West Drive films here and the cast is mostly left alone.” Clare walked hand in hand with Kota to his car. She got in and buckled. “The mall’s good. There’s a Chipotle, a few other restaurants, or the usual food court fare.” She had to meet Alli later, anyway.

Kota: looked at Clare. "It was to educate us, though the movie The Girl Next Door taught us more than American Pie did and I don't believe there was nudity in The Girl Next Door either." he shrugged. "I've never seen Games Of Thrones to be honest." He admitted and looked at her. "We will probably have crab because Emi loves it. Connor hates seafood, but he likes tofu they will substitute fish with tofu. The only ones going to Japan that actually like sushi are me and Eli." he stated honestly and nodded when Clare mentioned being fine with cooking fish. "She'll be with us on weekdays so she won't forget about us." he chuckled. "You can demand date nights and I'm glad you won't kiss another guy to make me jealous because if you did that, it wouldn't make me jealous it'd make me think we were over so please don't do that." he chuckled softly at her next words. "No problem and some of the stuff in Japan is going to be written in Japanese in most places, if that's the case I'll only tell you if it's something you're going to buy and not something I'm buying for you and yes, they eat turtles and sharks in Japan." he assured. "If that's the case with your parents I'll show them report cards from TU to show them I can handle both." He suggested and Mel looked at him when Clare mentioned him being hassled. "The guy I saw last night hearing the football jacket when I went to surprise you.." she trailed off. "Wasn't hassling me, he needed to talk. Not many people can hassle me for Murder Bunny at school anymore. I've been busy with some things during free periods." He confirmed. "Yes, he does." Mel said going through her phone and showing Clare a screen cap she took of Jimmy Fallon showing off his MB socks on his show by putting his foot on his desk and lifting a pant leg. "It's not really crazy amazing." He chuckled knowingly, there were things in school that he was mixed up in that he couldn't share with Clare. "Thank you." Mel said looking at Clare as she stood in her disguise. Hearing Clare mention the mall caused him to nod. "The mall it is." He chimed and drove to the mall. Right as he turned in, he noticed someone behind him and sighed before parking. Once he got out of the car he was met by Todd, the yearbook photographer. "Thank you." Todd said and Kota looked at him. "I don't want your thanks." He stated venomously as he walked to help Clare out. "You stopped Owen from killing me." Todd stated. "I didn't do it for you. I did it to keep Owen out of trouble. Had it been a different guy I would let him kill you. I'm totally not on your side." He said wrapping his arm around Clare's waist and walking with Mel. "I asked to go to Japan, Simpson said to talk to you. It's for yearbook." Todd added and Kota stopped dead in his tracks before turning to the boy. "Over my cold dead body. There's no way in Hell I'm letting you on my plane especially with a camera. Are you fucking stupid?" He fumed as Todd fidgeted as Kota started to walk away. "It was an accident. I didn't mean to." Todd yelled and Kota turned to him. "Prove it." He said holding his hand out and looking at Todd as he looked down. "What would you do with them?" Todd asked. "What do you think?" Kota questioned back and Todd shrugged suggestively as he looked down. "You sick fuck." He fumed as he clenched his fists and felt a hand on his shoulder to see Owen. "Clare is here, remember." Owen said reminding him. "Go with her and your friend. I'll deal with this piece of shit." Owen said and Kota walked to Mel and Clare. "Food, right?" he asked softly.

#ou