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mad-maximoff · 11 months

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𝐑𝐞𝐝 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝟑

Chapter Sum: Addy really wants to look good for university. She decided to go tanning. Lizzie wanted her to cool down and relax with her next door.

Warnings: Language (like usual lol), of age/underage drinking (depending on where you're from), fingering, making out, consent (we love a consensual queen <3)

Word Count: 3,625

Red Love Masterlist

"Kiss me hard before you go...summertime sadness. I just wanted you to know, that baby you the best."

"I got my red dress on tonight..." I laid down on my towel on the grass under the hot August sun. My plan is to tan. I wanted to look hot for university. Like every girl does obviously. I want to look mature. I didn't want to look like some kid that shouldn't be there. However, no one from my high school got accepted into NYU so I get a fresh start.

I was shielding the sun's rays with the book I'm currently reading, 'My Year Of Rest & Relaxation'. My sunglasses weren't doing justice. The tan oil I was using smelt god-awful. It made my skin tingle with every lather I applied. I think perhaps I'm allergic. Time will tell I guess. I sported the new bathing suit I got in the city. It looked like the infamous pink Dior bikini but who could afford that on a university student's cash? I think I bought it wrong, however. The top was too small for my boobs and the bottoms were too big. I wasn't thinking about it much, I was trying to keep my mind on my tan and my book. However, that wasn't what I was thinking about. I was trying to piece together what happened the other day. Did Elizabeth touch me? Maybe I was hallucinating? It was my first high after all. I remember Lizzie hit Hallie for some reason then grabbed me and dragged me home. Everything else was a damn-near blur. I saw her in double vision the entire time. My head felt as though my brain was unhooked and just swam freely around my skull. It was a floating sensation.

There was a little breeze throughout the backyard. It cooled my tingly skin. The breeze sent goosebumps all up my thighs making them shift around above my towel. The sensation went away as the wind died down. My phone rang out of nowhere, I wasn't expecting any calls. All I wanted to do today was read and get tan, why am I always being bothered?

"Hello?" I answered sitting up and putting a place in my book.

"What's up bitch!!! Whatcha doing?" It was Hallie. She sounds very happy, considering what happened 2 days ago.

"Nothing much really. Just tanning. What's up with you?" I sat hunched over running my finger along the spine of the book just listening to Hallie's voice.

"About the same. Just got off work. Had an early shift this morning. Are you doing okay? I forgot to call you after that whole fiasco with your crazy milf. Did your mom notice? What did you two do when you went home? Did it involve a certain cherry popping?" She giggled softly trying to not be loud. You could hear she was getting in her truck.

"Oh my fucking god Hal, nothing like that happened! I think that it is. Mom wasn't home, and Lizzie did feel bad about hitting you. She told me. She just got overprotective that's all." I shifted my body to lay on my right side, putting all the weight on my arm.

"Overprotective I can tell, but she came for me like a bull out the pin. I thought she liked me. She went nuts!" Her truck engine started and I heard a lighter flick on.

"You realize why she went nuts. Your scrawny ass couldn't lift me up. She probably thought I needed help and you were doing nothing. But I know you were trying your best. Plus you're more like a bull than her! Haha! Remember when I had to sneak into the bar to come pick you up and you had a biker dude in a headlock just because he stole your seat?"

"No! That wasn't just that! He touched my ass too remember? And when you came in I had him in a headlock then bashed him over the head with a bottle." She laughed.

"Yeah, with the most expensive bottle in the damn bar might I add!" I snorted shaking my head over my best friend's antics.

"Hey! It was the stupid bartender's fault for putting a 500-dollar bottle out where people can grab it. It wasn't tequila so I was fine breaking it. Do you want me to come over later? We can binge-watch movies again."

I switched to put her on speaker. Just waiting for her to hang up. I love Hallie dearly but some days I just want to be alone. I don't need her constantly calling and asking to do things. I love hanging out with her in all but damn, doesn't she want to be alone too? She has a boyfriend, why doesn't she hang out with him?

"Maybe Hal. I'll see how I feel." I huffed adjusting my glasses.

"Uh-huh. Okay hun, I gotta let you go. Jamie's calling me."

"Okay Hal, talk to you later." I hung up a little too quickly but I know Hallie won't take it personally. I hope.

╔═══ -ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ- ═══╗

I proceeded to try and finish off the chapter I was reading. My mind was being distracted, I kept hearing sloshing noises. I turned behind me seeing no one else in the backyard. I sat up looking in the other direction to the fence, Lizzie's house was on the other side. I saw a little shadow that turned out to be moving. It was Lizzie, or so I hoped. I couldn't see her fully. She never had anyone over.

"Miss Addy? What on earth are you doing sitting in this August sun? It's 104 degrees out." Lizzie hung over the fence resting her chin on the wood. Her hair was dry and wavy. Her glasses covered most of her face with a brown tint.

"I'm tanning. I don't think it's working honestly." I stood up meeting Lizzie's gaze. I stepped forward walking to where she was. I tried to straighten my back sucking in my stomach. Lizzie's hand reached out to my bikini strap pulling it away from my skin, letting it go to flick my skin.

"Hm? I think it worked. You have some colour. You're really warm sweetie. You should come and take a break. I have the pool fixed. Why don't you come and relax with me." Her hand rested on my shoulder. Her hand was coldly damp. It soothed me for a little while. "Oh I don't want to burden you, it's the weekend after all. It's your days off." I really wanted to join her, but I didn't want to cramp her style. "Honey, I'd be delighted if you joined me. I'd love company, especially your company." Her thumb grazed my tan skin leaving my body. "Alright, Lizzie. I'll be happy to join you then." I felt a smile creep along. I was ecstatic, this would be the first time we would hang out. I opened the latch on our fence. My mom got it installed last summer, she and the girls would come over sometimes for drinks so she thought it would be easy access. I've never been in Lizzie's house or her backyard. It was neatly lawned, with stone lining the hot tub-sized pool in the middle with a gazebo covering the pool. My jaw almost dropped seeing what Lizzie was wearing, a burnt orange bikini. She looked immaculate. I've never seen Lizzie in anything like this. I've seen her in shorts and stuff like that but nothing like this. Her olive skin was accented with an orange colour. She was hot.

"Would you like a drink, Miss Ad?" She flung open the screen door stepping into what looked like her living room. Her glasses came off resting on her head, her eyes looked tired. But her smile made you think otherwise. "I'll drink whatever you are Lizzie." I beamed back twisting a ring on my index finger. "Haha! You can't tell you are underage or anything. Don't say you want whatever I'm having. You'll for sure get ID-ed at the bar. Now, how about we try this again? What would you like?" Her arm leaned into the door. Her hips tilted showing off her soft hips. "Champagne if you have it. If not then a screwdriver." I awkwardly laughed off her comment still twisting the ring on my finger.

"Champagne it is honey. Now, was that so hard? Go on, go sit in the pool. I'll be there shortly." She left from my sight. Like a good little pup, I darted over to the pool dipping my feet into the pool. It was then that I realized I was tan, the white underbelly of the pool showed my light brown skin. It was cold at first, but it felt nice actually. I sat on the edge of the pool letting the water hit my kneecaps awaiting Lizzie's return.

"I thought it would be easier for us just to have the bottle." Lizzie returned with a bottle of champagne and two wine glasses. "Is that Dom Perignon?!" I was surprised to see her bring out such a fancy bottle. "For someone that isn't 21, you sure know your champagnes. What? Don't like it?" She joked planting down next to me feeling the soft hairs on her thighs graze mine. "No, no I've never drank it. I've just seen it on tv shows and movies. You shouldn't open a nice bottle just for me." Lizzie nudged me cracking the seal and popping off the cork. "Don't say that! A pretty girl deserves the prettiest bottle. Plus if it's your first time drinking champagne, I'd like it to be something nice and not shit bottles you'll drink in university dorms." She poured the glasses full handing me my glass. Her nails were neatly painted in a milk bath look. Her nails were trimmed short with a little white left over. As for my nails were sloppily painted in black with cracks where I'd chewed off. I'm trying to quit this nasty habit I've done for years.

I took in a hefty sip almost finishing off the glass. I heard Lizzie's laughter seeing her glass fog up from her breath. "It's not a shot, did you even taste it?" She nudged me again this time she sunk deeper into the pool. "Come on Addy-baby, come in." Her hand landed on my thigh rubbing inwards. I jimmied myself lower feeling a little ashamed that I chugged my glass. "I'm sorry, a force of habit. I go to small parties. They don't serve actual drinks, just shots." Lizzie's hand grasped mine pulling my glass closer to her chest and pouring another glass. "Well then let's teach you how to drink an actual drink." Her glasses fell off her head landing on the bridge of her nose. It startled both of us, but it let out giggles of Lizzie and me. "Cheers Miss Addy, to our lovely blossoming relationship." Our glasses clinked together staring into each other tentatively. "Cheers," I smirked feeling her thighs shift against mine under the water.

"How are you feeling since the last time I saw you? You were in pretty bad shape." Lizzie's lips pursed on the tip of the glass, sipping slowly. Which made me feel 10 times worse about my first drink. I mimicked her action sipping slowly; she was right. I didn't even taste it. It tasted like what I imagined. Sweet and full of bubbles. Like what gold would taste like. Fancy.

"I was okay, you were right. I just needed some water and crawled into bed." I turned my back placing the wine glass behind my back on the ledge. "See! Told you, take my advice baby. You were a total mess. You're friend didn't do anything but stand and watch." She huffed spinning the liquid in a circular motion. "Hallie was trying her best before you came. I'm heavier than her, she couldn't possibly lift me without help." My hands dipped into the water letting the rest of my body sink into my shoulders. Lizzie's body turned completely pressing a button on the pool, there laid little jets at our feet. It was becoming a very relaxing afternoon after all. "Yeah sure, if she had any weight on her head she would know not to let you hit the ground. You're not heavy Addy, you're very sexy." Lizzie's thigh crossed on mine laying it gently. I felt her, I felt her crotch through her bikini bottoms. Oh god, stop it! Stop thinking about that!

I blushed again simply brushing her compliment off. "Come now Lizzie, I could lose a few pounds around my stomach. It's sad when I look down and my belly is bigger than my tits. I wish there was a way to transfer my fat to my boobs. Hahaha!" I joked sitting up straight looking down through the water. Lizzie's whole body moved onto mine. Her arm draped around my shoulders as her other hand laid directly on my belly. "Shut up now, I love your cute tummy. You're healthy, and your chest is perfect." Her hand fondled my stomach, her thumb rubbed above my navel where the top of my belly ring was. Her touch was faint under the water. I knew she was touching me, but it didn't feel like it.

"You're probably the only one who thinks that Lizzie, so thank you for trying to make me feel better." Her body shifted once again now floating in front of me. Her hips were at my kneecaps, I parted my legs allowing her to come closer to me. Her face was half an inch away from mine. She took off her sunglasses throwing them to a ledge. "I'm the only one you should care about Addy." She bit her lip before her lips met mine without warning. It was blissfully maddening. She was rough. I couldn't possibly take control of her. God I wish I could have the courage too but I melted at the feeling of her holding me down. Her mouth was so dominating. She was rough on my lips but, her tongue was soft with every touch of mine. God, she was magical. It was everything I dreamt she would be. There it is again. That familiar touch I once felt while I was high. I knew I wasn't imagining it. She did it again. Her hand that once rested on my stomach climbed its way to my breast again. Squeezing it in its full form. Someone who finally made me feel beautiful, made my body feel beautiful. We took a breath out together, you could make out a tiny sigh Lizzie let out before she reattached her lips to mine. My throat let out a small moan, buzzing through my vocal cords. Lizzie didn't think I notice she slipped her balm under my bikini top grasping my breast bare. Fuck! Fuck! She's touching me! Me!! Oh god, stay cool! I didn't stay cool, however. I almost jumped out of my skin. I leaped back breaking our kiss momentarily. Lizzie had a confused expression plastered across her face. "Hmm? What's the matter? Are you okay?" Her grip around my breast loosened still not leaving its spot. My look must've startled her, I didn't know what I was showing. "I-I'm sorry Lizzie. You just caught me off guard. I didn't know what you were doing." Lizzie gave a tiny pout still biting down on her bottom lip. "Oh I'm sorry honey, would you like me to continue? I should've asked. I got a little out of hand." My brain shut off. It felt as though I was in a dream at this moment. My body reacted in some way I never knew I'd do. My hand pressed against Lizzie's as it was still under my bikini. "P-please. I'd like you to continue." I haven't stuttered in years like I was. I had speech therapy when I was small to better my speech. Sometimes it will slip here and there. "Good. Good girl..." With that, she leaned in. This time, I leaned with her. She tasted sweet, not sweet like the champagne. Tasted like vanilla and mint. Smelt strong like wood and floral. She was everything and more. Her other hand crept around my thigh, that part I felt vividly. Even under the water. It was heightened by 100.

I felt so bare underneath Elizabeth, her warm complexion looked like she was wearing sunscreen with tiny gold flakes. Her brows were brushed and filled in, with light mascara. Nothing clumped on her like it would happen to me, I'd hide it with false lashes.

God, she's beautiful. She was warm and inviting, she made me feel very comfortable around her.

"You're so beautiful Liz-..." I parted my lips against hers feeling her bottom lip graze mine. Her hand forcefully squished my breast warming my stiff nipple. Moving my nipple ring in circles. It frightened me; I have never had anyone touch me in that way. Yes, I was pierced so someone did touch me, but not in a sexual way. Not in the way Lizzie was. "Shhh..you're even more lovely Addy. You want me to touch you more?" Her body switched positions. Sitting directly on my lap leaving space between our bikini bottoms. I nodded pushing my head back to her lips. Her forehead met mine stopping me. "Use. Your. Words. Yes or no?" Her voice was stern and hot next to my ear. I nodded again breathing in shallowly. "Yes please..." My hands lay on her narrow shoulders caressing her collar bone. Lizzie unstuck her forehead to mine continued to press her lips onto mine dipping her tongue into my mouth again. She invaded my personal space, it wasn't like I didn't mind it. Lizzie can invade my space anytime. She was invading other places too, her hand was still laid on my thigh creeping up onto the flab where the string to my bottoms was. Her hand traced down the lining of my bottoms until she reached the middle below my belly button ring. Her nails dug into the cloth pushing down.

Oh my god...I've always dreamt of this! God...Fuck!

I felt as though I jumped again, but in reality, my hips just bucked. She giggled unclenching her other hand from my boob pushing on my shoulder. "It's your first time, isn't it? I can tell. Your face is so red..and you're soaked-..fuck Addy..." Her middle finger dove deeper inside awaiting a reaction as she pulled out. My hands left her shoulders clutching her slim waist. She wasn't fat, her body was perfect. She was like the goddesses I'd read about in Greek books, and she was touching me. Just me. No one else around. Her thumb grazed my clit, pushing her middle finger back into my pussy. Lizzie laughed seeing my reaction. I tried to look away from Lizzie's face. Her forehead stuck to mine making my head lift. "Be a good girl Addy. I'll make you cum if you're good for me. Hm? Will you be a good girl for mommy?" I would have came right there. Mommy? Did she really say that? I never thought Lizzie was into that. I couldn't think much of it after her hand increased her speed into me. "Y-y-yes!" The warmth of the hot tub and Lizzie's breath hit me like I was going to suffocate.

"Yes, what?" Her finger slowly slipped out of my folds too easily. My hips bucked, I was begging at this point. I didn't know what to say, does she want me to say it? I guess so. Maybe? "Yes, mommy..." Her lip curled to one side catching her teeth on her bottom lip. "Good. Good girl." Her fingers dove in deeper than before, I could feel myself clench around her middle finger.

"Oh god...I'm gonna-oh!" Lizzie's other hand pressed my shoulder against the wall of the hot tub. It stung for a moment but I didn't mind for a second. "I know darling. I know. I feel it too." She pumped in and out of my pussy. I have never touched myself in such a way, I dreamt of her touching me. Just never thought it would escalate this quickly. "Oh, Addy. You look beautiful like this. Melting in the palm of my hand ready to cum. Go on then. Cum for mommy."

There it was.

I have came before, but not by another person. It felt a million times better when it was someone else doing it. To tell you the truth, I felt somewhat dirty. Like we've done something wrong. I'm over 18 and so is she. I liked her and I hoped she liked me as well. So why did I feel this way? Her hand left from underneath my bottoms leaving it empty. She was happy. So was I trying to catch my breath.

"God you look so cute. You want more champagne?"

"No. I'm...I'm...I think I hear my mom." I caught my breath lifting myself out of the water. Lizzie looked startled. "I didn't hear anything Ad."

"Yeah, she's in the kitchen. I can see her in the window. I have to go. Um...thanks for the...drinks. See you later." I hopped out onto the cold grass. The grass wasn't cold, I was just in hot water. I felt like I was running, probably because I was. I slammed the fence door running into the back door.

What the hell was I thinking? How could I? What if my mom saw us? Oh god! No! That was wrong on so many levels. I can't do it again!

Lizzie was right. I did get some colour.

#lgbt #lesbian #fanfiction #elizabeth olsen fanfiction #elizabeth olsen fanfic #elizabeth chase olsen #lizzie olsen #dark fic #red love #wlw #wlw fanfic #fanfic #wattpad story #wattpad

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bicon-crange · 7 months

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can the nosey ones know abt ur crush? :3c dw if not. my condolences (positive)

yeah sure why not i cant stop fucking talking about it anyways.

iiii dont know if its necessarily a crush though!! definitely an obsession. definitely some kind of. fixation. thanks for your condolences i definitely fucking need them. TT-TT )

its like. uh. this person i know whos sooo articulate and smart and. theyre really sweet. yknow BASIC SHIT. theyre great everyone likes them.

anyways when we first started talking it was like. some kinda. there was clashing. i guess is how you could put it? but every time we finished talking i felt soo like. electrified. like buzzing. like my whole body was just shaking. adrenaline? maybe?

i really thought at first that it was just a friendly interest. some sort of.. y'know intellectual thing! you meet someone whos so much smarter than you and whos ideas are so well put together and who thinks YOU'RE interesting and of course you want to know more of how their brain works of course youre. captivated a bit yknow? thats like. normal. to feel. i think.

oh the first couple times we talked i went so nuts! i reread over our convos like a thousand times and reiterated our talks several times to EVERYONE in my house. its so actually embarrassing. but they were good convos you HAAAVE to understand. it was like. ducking weaving. it was like. some sort of mental exercise . and i thought it was like. normal. but it just kept. HAPPENING. AND HAPPENING. AND HAPPENING.

and i tell you what this was a lot easier a month or so ago when i was like I JUST REALLY LIKE TALKING TO THIS PERSON!! ^_^ (<- STILL A DEFINITE POSSIBILITY) cause ugh. lately its like. ever since the thought popped in my head that this interest MIIIGHT be romantic in nature its. ALLLL DAY thinking about them its so nuts! its so constant!! its literally like a fucking DISEASE... i feel like. angry over it? spiteful? almost? it reminds me of when i had a crush on a guy in elementary school and I didnt know how to handle it so i beat the hell out of him with a lunch box.

like im over here forgetting shit left and right and messing up basic conversation skills and having heart palpitations and theyre like. fine probably. iiii honestly dont think they even think about me lol. i mean definitely not as much as i am,easy, because im totally insane and obsessive i know this.

we also dont talk so much! its not very often! so yeah im sure they dont think about me as much. im even definitely sure if i ever verbalized this it wouldnt work out. ive visualized them turning me down like 20 different ways for 20 different reasons just today. lots of reasons yknow! im mentally unwell and totally nuts, im immature and also very ugly im unable to carry out a meaningful relationship because of my chronic pain problems and various health issues, all of that is fine but my obsessive nature is really freaky,LD relationships are a no-go, they just dont like me that way, ect ect ect.

its sooo stupid. its SO middle school. they type a response to me and i can barely look at the screen. i feel SO fucking stupid its insane. im like. going to claw my eyes out of my head and chew on them till they burst. i hate it here. and its never going to be reciprocated whatsoever so im literally not even going to try.

BESIDES Y'KNOW!! I DONT EVEN KNOW FOR SURE IF THATS WHAT IM FEELING!! its been wracking my brain for a week straight!! its like. am i just fascinated on an intellectual level, am i just interested in an anthropological sense, are these just really good conversations, if this just normal friendship and im making things super weird? am i just excited that someone seems to get what im saying about what im interested in? yknow. dumb.

either way TLDR; im waiting for it to pass. either I'll sort my own feelings out or itll pass! if its infatuation, GOOD, that has a expiration date of 1-2 years so i will just box it up and not think about it and not do anything about it. ^_^ )9 and it WILL die. BUT if you know how to force that process to go along faster let me KNOW.

#FR GENUINELY IF ANY OF YOU KNOW HOW TO FORCE THIS TO PASS. LMK.#LIFE IS CURRENTLY BEING RUN BY THIS SHIT AND I WOULD REALLY PREFER TO DO LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE

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sweetswesf · 9 months

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I got a lot done yesterday. Finally got to go to the gym, first of this week. Almost done with my workout, then this buff dude is walking in my direction. I didn’t realize it was a dude from my past…

I met him originally in the street on one of my errand runs. He was on a bike and I knew he wasn’t from here because attractive Black men who are not from the projects here or didn’t grow up typically are with a non-Black woman or trying to avoid all possible eye-contact with Black women.

He was kind of hurried with his proposal for us to hang out that weekend. He was kind of weird looking, but kind of attractive and my standards were on the ground at that moment in my life, so albeit apprehensive, I looked forward to what may be in store. Conversation got sexual fast (red flag), but unfortunately at that point, that’s what I grew to expect. I’ve rarely had guys I’ve been interested in court me.

We texted and I did my research. Found his non-Black girlfriend and Facebook with his real name. The significance of me mentioning that his girlfriend was not Black is because he was QUICK to talk about my Blackness, how Black people have to stick together, blah blah blah. Basically pandering, all while…anyway chile…

I told him I found the stuff and he went bezzerk. I wish I kept that scarring text message but I recently purged all contacts and message histories of things that no longer serve me (I highly recommend). He would say he wants to do something nasty to me, then degrade me when I told him I don’t mess with liars. I blocked his number and he texted me from another. Dude was nuts. You would think I was the one that lied to him or if we saw each other more than once. I was legit scared in these San Francisco streets because I have 0 human protection. I just need Jesus, but also people who stay close to Jesus also get touched, so I admit I was a bit fearful. I even moved away for a little bit after that initial contact with him happened (he wasn’t the reason, but I was glad to get out) but I ended up right back here. That initial encounter happened in 2021.

I saw a dude in the gym a few months ago this year that looked like him, but since I only saw him in person once (but photo many times), didn’t have my glasses on, and I try not to look men in the gym in the face fully, I didn’t think nor want to believe it was him…but after yesterday, I realized it was. Yesterday happened after I said in words how I don’t like to be at the gym late being one of the only women there and out & about on public transportation at night, but it’s hard for me to do mornings because I am EXHAUSTED after workouts and wouldn’t get work done. I’m starting to run out all my options of times and gyms! Also a reminder that my time is running out on San Francisco (but hopefully it’s to go to NY with my new top choice job).

Anyway chile, I was on the tricep dip bar. He found the perfect time to corner me I guess. He hung on the opposite side of the bar. He was VERY friendly, which was a huge shift from how our last conversation went. It caught me very off guard. I didn’t know if I was protected in that moment. Dude is not much taller than me, but is really buff. Could easily choke me out Lmdao. Anyway…

He was looking at me as he was walking toward me, but I avoided eye contact and I thought he was just trying to check me out and then pass. When he waved and got in front of me. He asked me how I’ve been and it was only then did I realize it was him, which is strange for me because I don’t forget a face. I usually would be able to recognize him immediately, but I’m noticing from this and recent social events, I’m getting worse at this…maybe all the trauma my brain is erasing memories to protect me! Lol okay in all seriousness…

He complimented me on my hair like he did the 1st time, which, like I said, for Black men out here is RARE, but he’s from Atlanta and things are…different. I still don’t know what this man does y’all, how old he is, etc. The conversation went similarly to our very first one where he was talking about not really liking it here and Black people sticking together. He playfully hit my arm and I tensed up a bit. He asked if I was nervous and I was like “Uhh yeah, considering how our last convo went.” He said, “You took it well. You were really calm. I was testing the waters.” I confirmed further at that point from that response that I was in danger & that I would probably need to go another gym or to this gym at a different time and change my schedule again.

This gym has the most availability since they’ve closed a lot of their other locations in the city & I have no car. It’s also my cheapest option for the gym. I pay for the whole year here what I would pay in a month at other places, and with a job, adding MORE expenses at this point is a no go.

I told him I needed an apology from him. He did and asked if he could hug me, I said no. He asked if he could shake my hand. He did. He asked why my handshake was so strong and kept my hand in both of his for a little while. The whole time I was thinking how tf can I get out of this? I’m already one of two Black women and one of maybe a handful of women in general on this crowded ass level. He asked if I had his number and I told him “No. I blocked you a long time ago.” He asked for my number, so I grabbed for my phone. He told me to wait and ran a little ways away to grab his phone so I could put mine in his instead. He called me right in front of me and didn’t hang up. I knew he didn’t because I was surprised with a minute long voicemail from him of the background noise during our conversation after I walked away.

He asked what I was doing tomorrow. I told him working. He asked when I was getting off. I forgot my working is studying, but didn’t want to invite him into my reality of unemployment. I don’t even want to be standing in front of you, I don’t even think I need to give you any real details so I didn’t even have the patience to correct him. I just said 6. Again, I don’t know what this man is capable of or what his response will be because he’s obviously not taking social queues, not even after I confirmed the nervousness he picked up and asked him to apologize.

He said, “let’s go grab some tequila,” which was very similar to our 1st conversation where he asked me out to drink. Trust him? Inebriated at that? ABSOLUTELY NOT. This man give me “I put something in your drink without you knowing” vibes TOTALLY. Or “let me take you home now that you’re drunk af”. No, no, no, no. I don’t even want that energy around me.

He gives me very uneasy. I feel uneasy around him. The first conversation in 2021 and the one yesterday, both felt like a distraction sent to me from the devil himself. He’s got a lying spirit. But since I go to that gym, what do I do? Ignore his texts so he can approach me again asking why. If I tell him to leave me alone, I have no clue what that will turn into because he knows where I frequent now? I’ve tried ignoring someone I had to see at work, and they did not let the office prevent them from getting enraged, approaching me, etc. HR did nothing. Do I tell someone? A stranger ain’t getting involved with this. I know one cousin that would MAYBE protect me, but he doesn’t live here. I have stopped trying to make friends here because I have no time to invest in a new friendship right now. Barely even time to invest in the ones I have.

All in all, it serves as more motivation TO GET OUT OF MY SITUATION AND GET A JOB! Hopefully, it’s an omen like last time that a move to NY is coming soon!

Resist the devil of distraction, y’all.

This morning, 9:15 AM: no good morning, no greeting, just a shirtless video of him exercising in the gym with the grey sweats obviously showing a HUGE print. You are supposed to wear clothes in the gym. He is trying to show off and it makes me want to throw up in my mouth a bit. I am repulsed. The guy is a rule breaker and is very chaotic. The guy looks great, but I am also extremely turned off & terrified. It is about him & what he wants, and quite frankly, at my big age & the tribulations in life I’m going through, I have no time for it…Get AWAY from me devil…

#software engineering #san francisco #python #silicon valley #coding #women in tech #software #tech company layoffs #new york #black girl fitness #fitness #codeblr

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moregraceful · 2 years

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in honor of gsw winning the championship …. may i ask for spare librarian!steph au headcanons

for u anon, anything. also congrats to the dubbies for pulling it off, every photo of steph crying got me in my 🥺 feelings and i would have reblogged them all but my brain was liquifying so i had to go to bed.

very important headcanons:

steph has librarian drip, which means he theoretically WOULD look cool if he were not also an upstanding government employee so instead he just looks super nerdy while wearing colorful clothes. regardless, when he goes to like ala annual or cla or something, all the honeys and the homies are like 😍 😍 😍 bc librarians are thirsty but he is like slightly clueless abt it bc he’s too busy arguing abt the stringent nonpartisanship to nazis feelings comfortable in your librarian pipeline.

bc of his librarian nerd drip, he ends up on a librarian thirst insta (i don’t know if these actually exist as i stay away from librarian insta bc they are all insane but i assume someone has ranked the library journal movers and shakers by how hot they are at some point or another. maybe it is like. a government employee thirst insta like back in the day when tumblr used to get in their feelings about trudeau/obama lol wow this parenthical went on a tangent). ANYWAY he’s on a librarian thirst insta and people are like oh my god,,,,,,,, but he’s dumb and gay so he doesn’t understand why people keep trying to hit him up on his bookstagram where he posts pictures of his programs and lil book reviews

klay obvi also does not get it bc he is so fully offline except to constantly post insta stories of how happy he is to be out in the great pacific ocean, his mother and his reason for living, while doing zero things for engagement otherwise, but he also kind of gets it bc he thinks steph is hot. like steph is a nerd but klay is so gone on him, the like constant exhaustion and trying to persist in living a joyful life despite having to attend city council meetings and seeing how the government fails its most vulnerable citizens again and again is very attractive to klay tbh

klay takes steph out on his boat one day and he posts a pic of steph lying in the sun and it is ACCIDENTALLY a thirst trap (for klay primarily but also other people) but it gets like 900 likes and klay like doesn’t even notice bc he’s so wildly offline. instagram is for boat pictures ONLY

buster posey sees the photo and all the comments bc he follows klay i guess and he thinks it’s a deeply funny photo and that all the comments are hilarious. he screenshots many of them to embarrass steph with and forwards the post to idk kevin gausman over in toronto bc kevin appreciate a good librarian thirst trap. and kevin thinks it’s very funny and shows it to all the guys working in his library, who are the youthful and joyful toronto raptors, and they go nuts

and that’s how steph curry, noted librarian, becomes an international sex librarian symbol

i hope this satisfies anon!!! congrats again to the golden state gays for winning the final — that’s what love and friendship gets u babey!!!

#🎶 i lost my head in san francisco waiting for the fog to roll out but i found it in a raincloud it was smiling down 🎶#noted librarian steph curry #unfortunate birdcage fanfictions #i will put this under a cut momentarily i am just writing this on my ipad and have not yet figured out how to add a cut on the app lmao #anon #rpf tag for ts #ok it's under a cut thank you for your patience!!

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prynnehesters · 3 months

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i finished my evil durge and im taking a break from bg3 to hopefully get a job/play other games

so like...i did redo the orin battle cuz it gave me failed durge where i didn't get bhaal's blessing and i became a failure and i was basically gonna go feral after my tadpole was removed so i just went "fuck it" and went to kill orin and got his blessing

tbh, having the slayer form made the game infinitely easier but the ending disappointed me

minthara's romance is not that exciting past the insane sex scene you get in act 1. you share some moments, but it's not as satisfying as the other two i fully did. you don't really get full on scenes. picking the origin companions is better. at least w halsin, he is poly and he doesn't feel tacked on in the end. and i did take him a few places. i should've stayed w lae'zel :((( i did get her second romance scene and that was nutso tbh

i ascended astarion and i kind of want to have a split thing in my next playthru bcuz i hear the sex scene is nuts (and you can kick him in the balls). nuts in like, halestorm lyrics lol

i also helped shadowheart w her shar stuff

and then we went to control the brain and i had like 3 summons and was able to clear the overwhelming area no problem and then deal w the brain

you get so many ways to redeem the dark urge and it's wild. like you can be awful and then get rid of your urge like nothing happened. or you can embrace it, then defy bhaal and kill yourself. you take over in bhaal's name. or you destroy the brain and then deal w bhaal, kill yourself, or sentence yourself to prison. you do not see any of the character's 6 months "where are they now". the best you get is a scene of you w orin's weapon making creepy noises and watching from afar, as you're just a monster who craves blood at this point

but like, i think the times you get to redeem durge is like, you don't kill anyone every time you are asked and just deal w orin as yourself (rip)

idk i might play resist durge in the future but im just gonna play my next lil playthru and have my goolock romance astarion and see how that goes lol

i also saw this list of romance from most explicit to most chaste and it made sense but i was kind of surprised by some. i think the order was minthara, halsin, karlach, gale, lae'zel, ascended astarion, shadowheart, astarion, and wyll. and i guess it makes sense if you take it bit by bit

minthara has her one crazy scene and then you just have a few campfire chats (and you only get the crazy scene if you're off the bat evil already and she's also under the influence of the tadpole so uh...)

halsin comes later and it's fun. imo not that crazy. but you get one. and also you can bring him w you to sleep w prostitutes

karlach you get 2 spicy scenes, but that comes after not being able to touch her. which is, well deserved

gale you get one nutso spicy scene (if you choose, it can be subdued if you want to), and then a lot of kisses

lae'zel i know you get her first fighting over who is the dom in the scenario and then you get the fight to the death but it gets tamer after that (which makes sense, as she does warm up to you). you also do have sexcapades with her

shadowheart i've heard it ends in a spicy scene (but like, wyll, wholesome spicy) and if you help her become a dark justiciar your romance kind of...ends

i know astarion starts off spicy with sexcapades and you letting him bite you during sex, but it kind of gets subdued over time bcuz he starts to trust you, until the end where i think you have freaky vampire sex if you let him ascend and less freaky vamp spawn sex if you don't (? dont quote me on that...). but tbh it makes sense w his history :(

and wyll...is wholesome and gentlemanly. he basically just gives you a few kisses and then sleeps w you at the end when he shows you around what he did when he was a kid in baldur's gate. also i've heard marrying him is cute too

idk man if this says anything, im a freak first and foremost lmaoooo (first playthru i slept w lae'zel, gale and the emperor and (almost) haarlep. second playthru i slept w karlach, halsin, the drow prostitutes, mizora (wyll disapproved), astarion briefly, and kissed wyll. evil durge just lae'zel and minthara (although surprisingly...gale tried...again. my second playthru after the druid/tiefling party everyone wanted me except astarion wyll and halsin lmaooo...although i got wyll's second romance scene in act 2 so...)

im too naughty for this lmaoo

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gifsbysimplysonia · 1 year

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Checked with my brother to make sure he saw what I saw and I wasn't crazy. Didn't say shizz as he watched, then he rewound and went back to most of the stuff I thought wasn't right and told me why he didn't think it looked right either. So cool, it wasn't just me. BUUUUUUUT 🤣

The way I was SURE this motherfather's entire performance was green screened in cuz the whole scene is shot in a way that it looks FAKE!!!!!

Via Marco on Instagram who posted a whole bunch of BtS pics of him ON THE SET of Ghosted

Might not be crazy but I was TOTALLY WRONG and it is SENDING me!

Idk why tf they used so much blue screen for this movie but that PLUS the mismatched lighting in his scene makes it look SO BADLY SHOT.

GIF by @thetrashstache

Chris's TEETH ARE BLUE as they are driving along (go back and watch, I swear I'm not nuts lol), GIF by @angela-bassetts

and see how the lighting on them in the front don't match the lighting on him in the back? You can see here in the blooper even how the lighting changes when CE leans forward

Different days on set I'm guessing which makes sense. If I'm proven to be wrong though I'll be fine with it 😄 But like

My Brother said blue screen and mismatched lighting make it hard on a VFX crew so maybe this was a rush job? I'm baffled and I don't know why my brain is STUCK on this whole scene.

Plus, it's not him who breaks the Leopard's neck and is laid out on the hood of the car, I stand by those statements lol

👀

This movie, man. What an interesting project it was. I'm gonna be thinking about it for longer than I want to (too late). And my brother is mad that Apple TV says "Watch again?" on it cuz we went back like 3 times to it to fast forward and watch certain stuff 🤣

#ghosted spoilers

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uncivilcivilservice · 1 year

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ARFID Recovery - Diary 1 (22/02/23)

So now that I'm in therapy for ARFID (an eating disorder which for me presents mainly as an extremely limited diet and a lot of anxiety and safety behaviours around food and eating) I've decided to track my progress on here, mostly for a sense of accountability, but if others see it and find it helpful then that's great too!

I'll be using the tag #ARFID recovery for these posts so feel free to block that if you don't want to see these posts on your dash

So for my first proper attempt since starting therapy at pushing myself to eat foods I'm not entirely comfortable with, I decided to keep it fairly simple and not try anything too crazy.

My options at the shop were limited since there have been shortages of some things that I had planned to get like red bell peppers and cucumbers, so instead I picked up some watercress, a mixture of different nuts including some I had never tried before, and some orange juice.

With the exception of cashews and almonds, I have eaten/drank all of this before, but it falls into the category of something I can have in theory, but in practice I tend to develop a lot of fears and anxieties about it being contaminated or rotting in some way, and I am often very picky about them and will often end up wasting a lot of it.

So first up was the watercress, which I admittedly got quite picky about. I went through the bag picking out leaves that looked a bit wrong due to wilting or spots, and wasn't left with a huge amount of watercress in the end. But I was able to wash and prepare it and eat it along with my dinner. It's better than nothing I suppose.

Next up was the orange juice, pictured here in my current safe cup so please try not to judge me lol. This was harder than I expected, my brain had a hard time accepting the cup was clean even when I'd washed it a few times, and then I kept worrying that there was something in the drink. I pushed past it and drank it as quickly as possible to get it over with, but yeah, this was a bit tricky.

And finally some nuts. Mostly fine, not sure how I feel about cashews and how soft they are, makes me feel like they are rotten in some way, but it didn't make me gag or anything. I did inhale a bit of hazelnut and start choking, which doesn't help my fears about choking on food, but I guess I just have to try and remember that it won't necessarily happen again, sometimes we choke a little on food, doesn't mean the food itself is dangerous. My body did what it needed to do to protect me, and everything is fine.

Anyway this was just a ramble so I can look back on something to tell my therapist how things went, I doubt anyone is reading right now lol

Next I would like to try some red peppers, maybe some cucumber if I can actually get my hands on some among these shortages

#ARFID recovery #ARFID #avoidant restrictive food intake disorder #food diary #it wasn't much today but small steps I guess #personal

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givehimthemedicine · 1 year

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( @himynameis4 big analysis part 2 reply in a new post so we don't have to keep reblogging that monstrosity)

Thank you so much for the feedback!! <3 I think I saw you post something along these lines a couple days ago but I averted my eyes lol but now I wanna go back and read all the theories I've been avoiding. great minds!

ok ok I'm following you on the Alice thing but here's where I get stuck - she's already on the floor for at least several seconds before Henry passes out. if his exhaustion was what interrupted the ritual, I would expect to see them both fall at about the same time as his concentration breaks, you know? like how Max falls irl at the same time as mindlair-Henry gets interrupted. and if Alice (even unwittingly?) did the radio and the song is truly playing again at least briefly, why do we only hear it in Victor's memory but not Henry's?

while I hesitate to agree that Alice's jaw was due to a rush job, I can buy that for all the lab kids because you're right he couldn't be leisurely about it and not every kid was isolated for it.

about Henry killing Victor - I never thought he meant to? because he said his plan was to frame him for murder. that was his alternate punishment for Victor's misdeeds because he had no powers to gain by killing him. Henry even has that later line "I tried to join them!" ("join" = recurring code for getting Vecna'd) but his suicide didn't even work (although idk if Henry is in charge of that). Henry's parents were the only two he specifically said he was holding a mirror up to and showing them what terrible people they were, and that may be how he found out how to activate other peoples' powers in the first place, and so with the lab kids and the cursed four he wasn't exactly punishing them for misdeeds he found offensive so much as just exploiting their vulnerability. but IF Henry had Vecna'd Victor then yeah I guess it would just look like the rabbits.

and ok the Will's eye color thing is so weird because I had no idea they really changed until right now (I just looked and by golly.) because I made a post recently pointing out that Jon and Joyce SAID Will's eye color was brown on his missing child poster. but the second they snap open after getting possessed they are hazel.

good question about Henry vs Will responding, it felt like the two were constantly wrestling but as time went on it seemed to be Henry winning more and more. I think this is where birthdaygate comes in because the writers keep setting major events around Will's bday (all of season 4 is set in the week of Will's bday and so are the Creel murders which there is NO reason for, like, pick any random month!) and Will would've for sure told Mike "btw thanks for remembering my birthday asshole" at rinkomania so if Will has forgotten his own bday there's definitely some memory commandeering going on.

to complicate it further, flayed Billy DID resist the MF at least for a minute there with the help of a fond memory, but the lighting in that scene is so nuts I have no idea if his eyes were ever supposed to be different. I need to review all the footage now with the eye thing in mind because wtf.

LOL powerhouse of the cell I'm high fiving your brain. that is so cool actually!!

anyway I appreciate your interest and I look forward to discussing more! (and yes there is supposed to be a part 3 but my brain is a bit fried rn and I shot a hole in my own logic already so that one will be a while longer)

#analysis #st spoilers #st theory #mine

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yobwwrites · 2 years

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"𝑰'𝒍𝒍 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒈𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒂 𝒗𝒊𝒃𝒆 𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏'𝒕 𝒌𝒆𝒆𝒑 𝒖𝒑 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉.."

𝐹𝐴𝐿𝐿𝐼𝑁𝐺 𝐵𝐴𝐶𝐾 𝑂𝑁 𝑀𝑌 𝐵𝐸𝐷, I tried to ignore the erection growing behind my sweats. This would’ve been my third time busting a nut to his nudes. I guess it was safe to say I had a little thing for this dude named, 𝑪𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒈𝒐. I wanted him so bad, and jacking off to his photos and imagining his 8.5 inside me was becoming a bit.... 𝑡𝑖𝑟𝑒𝑑.

Another Jack'd notification came in as I anticipated his next message.

I’m tired of staring at ya photos yo. I wanna feel sumthin…

Apparently he felt the same way as me. I smiled at my screen.

so what’s up?

I responded, almost instantly. I wasn’t sure where the boldness came from. Maybe the saying was true, you know, that the dick has a mind of its own.

Stop playing lol fr come see me…I’m tryna put something in ya tonight

Honestly, he was right. I was bluffing. This wouldn't be the first time he's asked to bust me down. I was just nervous. Although we had been talking on this app for months, I still didn't know him like that.

You there?

…..?

See..you ain’t ready smh lol

He responded, but he didn’t stop there. The messages kept coming as if he were taunting me. Pulling my nonexistent hoe card.

The last message he sent was a photo of him holding his erect dick. My mouth watered, imagining him invading my throat. Shit…

Where you at?!

I responded.

•

As the elevator went up to his floor, I imagined how he would smell and sound. Well, I was about to find out how he sounded right now as I dialed his number. We had exchanged numbers before my route here.

"Talk to me, shawty.." His voice, a deep timbre. He talked just like I expected—slow and country.

"I-I'm.." he had me tripping over my words. He chuckled, "you here?"

"..I'm heading up the elevator now.."

"Room 561.."

"Ok."

I walked down a few halls until I walked up on room 561. I knocked twice, then stood there waiting. The door flew open, revealing his 6”4 frame, standing in a yellow camo durag, white tank, and yellow gym shorts. I was 5'11, so he hovered over me, which turned me on more. His smooth brown skin glistened like the gold jewelry around his neck and wrist.

Melting, was the perfect word to describe me right now. The photos didn’t do him justice at all, he was more appealing in person. His wet rosy lips curled as he flashed his white teeth. I instantly recalled the time he told me he wanted to eat my ass. Staring at his lips had the mental picture at the top of my brain right now. Shit, it didn't make no sense to be this weak over a man.

"Wusaap?" He greeted, a contagious smile stretched across his face. He was clearly flaunting off his beautiful smile, I found it amusing and sexy.

Softly chuckling, "Hey.." I responded. He reached his long arms out, pulling me in for a hug. That's when I caught a whiff of him. Whew...he smelled so damn good. His body vibrated from laughter, "you aite?" He questioned, inviting me further into his hotel room.

Shrugging, "I'm good, I just never done this before." I responded, a half smile on my face.

"That's wassup, let me know that shit mine..." he responded, backing me into the nearest wall. He pressed his lips against mine. I actually hated kissing, but he was changing my mind. His lips were so soft and full. If my taste buds weren't playing tricks with me, he used some type of honey balm to moisture his lips, they were so sweet.

His tongue found a way into my mouth, I quickly pushed him away. He furrowed his eyes brows, a slight mug appearing on his face.

"Sorry..." I murmured, I could feel my face turning red.

He smiled, before running his tongue over his bottom lip. "You want a drank, it might relax chu...." he asked, walking the other direction.

"..I don't drink."

He stopped on his toes, shifting his gaze back to me. He furrowed his eyebrows together, creating a quizzical expression as if he didn't believe me. He wouldn't be the first. Most people in my age group didn't believe me when I told them I didn't drink or smoke.

I took a seat on the nearest couch and pulled out my phone. Nervous, I just stared at the screen. The scent began to change in the room, I noticed he was back in front of me with a blunt in his hand. He took a puff before offering me a smoke.

“No thanks."

"You don't smoke either?!"

"No, sorry." I chuckled. “I’m a little boring.”

"It’s coo..." he whispered, "your pureness kinda turns me on.."

"I didn't say I was pure.."

"Show me you ain't pure then.." he walked in front of me, his bulge appearing behind his shorts. He was indeed free-balling.

"Relax.." he leaned down, whispering in my face. I swear it sent my body and nerves in a frenzy. "And do what you came to do.." he continued taking off his tank, revealing his chiseled body.

A sudden willingness to take care of his needs overweighted me. I scooted to the edge of the couch, placing my hands on his exposed abs. I pressed my lips against his skin, laying small pecks until I reached his happy trail. Staring up at him for the approval, I rubbed against his bulge. He sipped his drink, staring down at me, intensely.

Mouth watering, I pulled his shorts down to his thighs, watching his dick jump out a inch away from my mouth. It was so pretty and long, I couldn't wait to wrap my lips around it.

He chuckled, "told you I been feenin' for you.."

The feeling was mutual. I wasted no time inserting my mouth on his dick, using one hand to stroke his shaft. His small moans brought me pleasure.

"Suck that shit, don't be scared..." following instructions, I deep-throated his dick. "Fuck...shawty.." grabbing my face, he started to fuck my throat until I couldn't take it anymore.

Taking a few breaths, I stroked his wet dick. "Hold on..." he said taking a swig of his drink. I stared at him, confusingly. He poured the liquor from the glass on his dick. The expression on his face told me he was unapologetic about the mess he was making on the floor. I'm not sure the staff would feel the same. He stroked his dick, then shoved it back in my mouth. Moaning, I continued to stroke his dick with my lips.

He grabbed my face and kissed my lips as if he wanted a taste of himself. "Let me see that thick ass..." I bit my lip, raising from the couch. I pulled outta my hoodie, then my sweats, leaving me in my briefs. His eyes lit up as he stopped me from pulling out my underwear. He pressed his lips against my lips, gripping my ass cheeks with his one free hand. This time I kissed him back, returning the aggressive energy.

He chuckled, "you ready now?" "Mhmm." I responded, taking off my last piece of clothing. I watched him take another sip of his drink before sitting it on the nightstand. He lifted me from my feet and threw me on the bed, flaunting off his strength. I proceeded to get on all fours, arching my back.

"Shit, that thang fat. I ain't know you was holding all dat baby.."

I responded with alittle ass shake.

"Damn, shake that shit?" He smacked my butt, continuing to talk his noise.

"Are you just gonna talk?" I asked, growing tired of waiting.

His signature laugh filled the room, "Chill...let me do me. Just keep that ass up.."

I felt his large hands grip my ass cheeks, opening them so he could dig his warm tongue in my hole.

"Shit..." I moaned. He returned the moan, letting me know he enjoyed it too. He tongue fucked me for a few more minutes before standing to his feet. He reached inside the drawer pulling out a bottle of lube.

"Protection." I reminded him.

Sucking his teeth, he responded, "I know." His tone change let me know he was upset that I wouldn't let him go raw, but I didn't care.

I stared at him, verifying that he opened the condom and put it on. He rubbed lube on his dick, then around and inside my hole. I could feel him inserting his length inside me as I tried to adjust to his size. He pulled out and slowly back in, warming me up for it.

Once he saw me getting into it, he started putting in work. His long strokes were hitting that spot, I arched my back and pushed it back on him. He loved me matching his force.

"Shit.." he moaned. I continued to throw it back on him. "Yoo, chill." I knew he couldn't take it so I kept going faster.

He eventually stopped me, wrapping his hands around my waist to slow me down. He bent over, laying kisses on my back as I slowly pushed back on his dick again. "Fuck..." he whispered against my skin. I picked up the speed and he stopped me again.

"Chill with that shit shawty, you gon make me nut.." he stated, we both chuckled.

He lifted his leg on the bed so he could crawl deeper in it. "Oh shit!” I tried to push him back, but he swiped my hand away, demanding me to take it.

So I did.

He squeezed my waist and drilled me down. I tried running, but his grip was tight. “Nah, keep that energy." he screamed, smacking my ass.

“Shit, Chy!”

"You like that?" He grabbed my neck, forcing me to keep my back arched as he pounded my insides. Goddamn, I knew I would be feeling this tomorrow.

"Fuck, nigga!!"

He laughed. I know he got pleasure hearing me scream. "What baby? I'm killing that shit huh?" He responded, I couldn't see his face but I could tell he was smiling.

"Mhmm." I moaned, trying to escape his grip. He smacked my ass. "Keep that shit up." He demanded, pushing me back into my previous position. "I'm trying.." I whimpered.

I felt something wrap around my neck, I grabbed my neck and noticed he wrapped his durag around my neck.

"You ready for this nut?" He asked, picking up his speed. I responded with a moan as he shot all over my ass and back...

#black gay #gay black #gay fiction

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xcassiekilla · 2 years

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i’ve been having headaches that are really really hard to “cure”, and i think they precipitate my vertigo episodes. the other day at work i was talking to someone and whilst looking at them, the whole room started to flip upside down. kind of like in a movie when someone’s on drugs! colors went everywhere, it was so nuts. i felt like i was in one of those crazy rooms at a fair. it took like 2m for it to fully stop.. which feels much longer in practice than it actually sounds. and i’ve also had smaller episodes of that same thing a few times before that, but never ever as bad as that time. one of my patients was a surgeon, and he was telling me about it and saying it’s more likely a TMJ issue than a brain tumor (which is my obvious fear lol) so fingers crossed it’s just my jaw. i know i’ve been known to tense up and clench my teeth together, which would likely affect pressure and things in the inner ear which would then not only produce a headache (all the tension) but the pressure in the ear would affect balance and equilibrium thus equalizing a vertigo episode :—-) woo!

i know massive headaches run in my family, and my mom told me recently she also has vertigo episodes. idk, it just sucks learning this. i feel like all of the stuff in my family that’s bad genetically stems around brain/head and it’s fucking annoying. like i’m already so scared every time i forget anything because my chances of dementia and alzheimer’s are like wayyy high….. and now i have this! i’m sorry if this is coming off as poor me poor me, it’s really not, i know i’m fortunate in so many ways but finding out something about your health isn’t 10/10 is kinda shitty no matter how you toss it. meh, come what may i guess. probably should finally get a PCP here and make an appointment to have my first physical in like 2+ years and see if there’s anything i can do about it(?) - coming from a nurse (lolllll)

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doitytoity · 2 years

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6.21

Well guess what. Shit fell apart for him. He tried to make all these big plans to go to LA or whatever and they fell thru. Now he’s gonna be stuck in Fresno with his shitty lil job lmao and who knows maybe having to go live outside. Maybe two weeks ago he screamed in my face that I’m fat as fuck lmao and I told him he’s never going to be anything, he’ll always be no one. And that’s much harder to change than weight.

All I know is after July 1 I’m abstinent. And if he tries to talk to me about sexual shit or engage me sexually in any way I’m just going to end the convo or remove myself from the situation. I am done with the bad boundaries. He thinks boundaries only go one way. He thinks he can have all the boundaries in the world and trample on mine. I need SPACE. He needs to feel the difference in how I’m coming at this because I’m not fucking playing anymore. I am so done with the whole thing. I honestly just want to actually grow as a person. I want to put effort into the things IIIIIIII like and am interested in. And he can go be his own person directing his energy toward something completely imaginary and misplaced. And just……..ugly and not right. I can’t be close to him if he believes in his version of god. My bad bruh, I just cannot. He’s never going to actually get better. He clearly hasn’t yet. And he’s never going to find a brotherhood that will steer him the right way cause all those men find ways to justify their shittiness lol SAD

I’m off it. It’s sad to legitimately be so much smarter than the guy you love, because there’s just no way he’ll ever be smarter. I’ll always be ahead because my brain is just…….wired to be reasonable. And he’s a fucking nut job. Like it’s legit so upsetting.

Like even the other day when we smoked and he went on and on rambling about trauma I was already well aware of like omg kiddo you gotta get past it and fucking do some meaningful processing because you’re spilling this like I’m supposed to feel for you when this is 100% your responsibility to deal with. Maybe it’d be different if I felt like he gave a damn about me but no everything is tipped in his favor lol or it’s curtains on the whole deal.

Lol I’m fockin dun luv 😂 it’s just so ugly like last night he tried to stand up to me and I was so turned off like no bitch stfu and listen to mommy cause you’re literally dumber than a rock and it’s painful how you can’t fucking hear how stupid you sound. I couldn’t even read the texts lmao I was like no this is a huge waste of energy. And that’s just…where I’m at.

Good fuckin night

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hopeswriting · 3 years

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hey wouldn't reborn's fame actually be much more low key? like, realistically speaking. and not low key as in less famous, but more like way less openly spoken about and advertised (by reborn included).

because he's the world's greatest hitman, right? and the dead can't talk and i doubt he'd ever leave any witnesses behind, if only because it's just common sense not to lol.

and all his disguises he clearly loves to indulge himself with? i mean he'd have to pretend to be a different person for each of his hits so to approach his targets the easiest/get them where he needs to to kill them. and if not that, then it just wouldn't be smart to approach them as he really looks like in the very unlikely case the hit goes wrong.

also he can't just have people know what he really looks like, and makes it more difficult for him to approach his targets. not that he wouldn't love the challenge, even if unfortunately it wouldn't make for an actual challenge at all because they just can't hope to ever see him come soon enough it'll make any difference. i mean, he's reborn.

and that one panel that shows he has a wide array of weapons he can and knows how to use? it makes sense he'd have needed to pick up on the skills because different requirements of his hits would have required different means of doing them, but also he can't have people pick up patterns on how he likes to kill people either. not that there're any to begin with, reborn isn't one for consistency after all (he gets bored quickly).

so no one knows what he really looks like.

and no one can ever hope to guess how he'll kill his next target, even if they'd knew everything else about the hit. and it's even more unfortunate when they're the next target in question lol.

no one even knows what flames attributes he has, and a good chunk of them actually think he isn't active at all because reborn likes to do things traditionally, and also mastering weapons by his own efforts is just a hobby of his. but also because he's always disguised as a different person, so none of the few crumbs they have on what he might really look like is the same, and thus a good majority of them thinks he's a mist.

so like, less of a "has a whole mafia island decorated with balloons in the shape of his head" type of fame, and more of a "the monster under your bed" type of fame. except when you go to look under your bed, the monster is actually here, and he gives you a nice hole right in the middle of your forehead.

or the monster in your closet, except when you open it to look inside, you know it, he shoots you in the head. and then probably puts you inside the closet, so the next person to open it has the nice little surprise to find a body in it. and hey, it's their fucking problem now to dispose of it.

and suddenly "skeleton in your closet" comes to mean an entirely different thing in the mafia world. a much more literal one too, because now the skeleton in the closet is you, except you're less of a skeleton and more of a very cold, very much dead body.

like, idk, they'd ask each other if they have skeletons in their closet, meaning if they had the pleasure to open their closet one day and realize reborn did a little spring cleaning in their life. or hardened hitmen warning the newbies by asking if they want to find skeletons in their closet, because sure, we all want to take on the big/challenging hits to make a name for ourselves and prove our skills, but those hits? if you know what's good for you, you wait to see if reborn won't show an interest in them first.

or just as a general warning, really. mafiosi starting to make it big, and draw attention onto them, and make people talk about them, and someone else goes "you sure about that buddy? because that's a surefire way to find skeletons in your closet."

because, consider, bogeyman reborn. and in the literal sense of the term too, because let's be real, reborn just wouldn't accept any hits. what is he, their errand boy? he's doing them a favor by letting them pay him to do their dirty work, so the least they can do (and will do, or else) in exchange is making it interesting. though it isn't enough to just be a big name, even if of course, reborn would like to see anyone try to pay him to go after anyone that didn't even make it on the top dogs’ radars yet. either you know his worth, or you get shot on sight.

but anyway, for reborn to accept a hit? the target not only needs to be big, but also and mainly, have some Flare.

they have to create and be surrounded by a decent amount of Chaos, and bonus points if everything will turn even more chaotic once he puts a bullet through their head.

you know, some Tastes, an Aesthetic, be involved in Outrageous Drama, and be Scandalously Gossiped about like it's the victorian era and they showed too much skin. (i actually know nothing about the victorian era lol, sorry if this isn't accurate.)

so he does, in fact, keeps everyone in their best behavior in that way. because like, the last thing they need as they're making it big is making it outlandishly big, lest reborn accepts the hit on their heads should it ever be asked of him.

"oh shit, oh fuck, is that a green chameleon?? oh god it fucking is, and this guy says he’s a hitman too, fuck fuck fuck—"

but also, because reborn's proud, and more importantly would hate for some incompetent nobody to take credit for his work, i feel like he'd still sign his hits somehow. i'm thinking something to do with leon. just so reborn can watch people freak out whenever they see leon on his hat, and go

then

"no, wait, would he show him just like that? no way, haha, you're being stupid, the world's greatest hitman is always so careful not to let on who they're really are, no way—"

but also like

"what if though??? what fucking if?????? oh fuck fuck fuck, do i need to run—"

and reborn simply will never get tired of it.

idk guys, just. reborn being and having his own little horror story, both the warning and the punishment.

reborn having lore about him, being talked about in fearful whispers with no one ever daring to speak his name.

and idk where i was going to take this, if anywhere at all lol, but also consider, the chosen seven meeting.

so even then, they still don’t know who reborn is.

i know in fics they're often made to introduce themselves to each other, but also? i mean, they're strangers gathered together by a suspicious masked man they never heard about before, so let's say they don't just go ahead and drop their actual names and what they do best to each other.

lal and reborn use guns as their primary weapons, and even if the wgh is known to use a variety of weapons, it's also known they use guns the most often.

they know the wgh is among them because checker face clearly said this was the gathering of the strongest seven, but to narrow it down further than that? and the thing is, they have reason to doubt everyone else.

viper is the primary suspect because they're a mist, what's with the countless different appearances that are linked with the wgh.

likewise with skull, who actually comes second to viper as the one most suspected, because as a stuntman he'd have dabbed in acting, which means pretending to be different people and getting to learn how to use different weapons.

fon would also have been a primary suspect, but it becomes obvious really quick he's exclusively a hand-to-hand combat fighter.

verde and reborn again, because of the wgh's needlessly intricate mind games and schemes, but that sure as hell always work perfectly.

and luce, as a donna with the political reach and influence that comes with it, because the wgh sure doesn't seem to give a fuck in what political sand boxes he plays, and how dire the consequences will be once he leaves them bloody.

but then of course, they learn about each other by working together, and what everyone's respective field is. and, hear me out, from then one they think skull is the wgh.

because they're proud assholes, and being the greatest stuntman just doesn't cut it for them. and more importantly, skull sucks mafia wise because for all intent and purposes he's a civilian, but no way that isn't just an act. after all they're the strongest seven, and as far as they know he was chosen alongside with them.

and they think skull is the wgh, and he finds it so funny.

meanwhile reborn is fucking with them with a straight face while looking them straight in the eye the whole time. he says he's the best spy of his generation or something, tho of course he never comes with nowhere near as flawless covers as he could in front of them. all around he’s constantly downplaying his skills around them, and strictly uses guns around them and nothing else.

and whenever they start to catch on he just uses his flames in a very obviously healing manner, because not so subconscious bias sure is a force to be reckoned with, and what kind of sun would end up as the wgh?

meanwhile luce knows exactly what's happening from day one. and enjoys the chaos immensely. and sure as hell doesn't tattle. she gets to know something and not tell and have it be completely harmless for once, as a treat. <3

#katekyo hitman reborn #khr #khr au #reborn #khr reborn #this got long wtf #i saw the words 'the hazards of fame for a professional criminal' on my dash #and my brain just went nuts i guess lol #anyway consider #chaotic evil spirit reborn #i think he'd love that for himself #mine

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vaguely-concerned · 2 years

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Rhapsody on Seven Days Rhapsody

zenigata has canonically trained his ears to recognize the sound of the fiat starting up. fiat whisperer. fhsjadfask I love you pops (he's mostly here for comic relief in this one but by god he does it so well)

honestly the subtitle of this special could be 'polycule scheduling problems' (also incontrovertible proof that if it ever really came down to it fujiko would 100% get goemon in the divorce. fujigoe folks come get your good fucking food)

- a particularly upsetting jigen's evil exes situation in this one, but at least the dude is arguably kind of handsome and quite clever this time so I guess there's always that. somehow it's so sad to me that the thing he offers (and knows jigen won't turn down) is to 'fix their relationship'. uuuuugh you just know this guy would sometimes stroke his hair and smile at him while they were fucking and jigen's poor fucked up love starved brain looked at that very barest veneer of human care and decency, however feigned, and went and decided that meant he owes him.

in some ways this dude's much worse because he's not stupid or just plain nuts, tho. like jigen honey I know this is not your strongest suit at the best of times but self respect, buddy, don't let people push your buttons like this ;___;

- a lady plants an impassioned surprise kiss on jigen in a flashback near the beginning and HE DOESN'T EVEN TAKE HIS HANDS OUT OF HIS POCKETS AT ANY POINT OF IT fkjhdsjklasfsdaljkh iconic (he did clearly care about her but proooobably not in quite the same way as she did for him huh lol)

yes. indeed. this did happen. more than once, in fact. this whole special is SPECTACULARLY gay, which I know is a high bar indeed for a lupin installment. some of it is in the form of gay jokes but it didn't feel like particularly malicious ones as these things go this time around, if you see what I mean. also fuck you I'm not taking it as jokes it's just nice to have on-screen confirmation that lupin is into goemon's tits as much as fujiko's (great content for most pairings in this tbh)

- this is of course an incredibly silly stupid story, as all lupin iii stories are, and don't let the fact that I found it very entertaining fool you into thinking otherwise, but it feels like there's something real and quite sweet in the running theme around heaven and hell in this one, especially when lupin and jigen have that reconciliation conversation where, I don't know... all the dread and deadness is taken out of it by that sense of looking at someone like 'I know I'm going to hell in the end, but that's okay because I'm going there with you and as long as it's the two of us we could make even that a fucking party'. like yeah, I think that's what it's all about when you get right down to it, that kind of partnership.

(also jigen's stone cold "you can't" in response to riat trying one last ditch guilt trip *chef kiss*. again -- this idea of both heaven and hell as lonely places vs. what lupin and jigen talk about ever so indirectly in that scene after the fire, tho. thoughts. emotions.)

- goemon and taking down a helicopter name a more iconic duo (possibly 'zenigata and crashing them' gets close)

how am I supposed to not be ready to lay down my life for him at a moment's notice. what do you want from me. am I fashioned from cold unfeeling steel? is my heart a lump of ice? am I to remain unmoved by him using a high squeaky voice to make the puppet go 'hai!'????

- this one has some GREAT lupin characterization for me. it's the perfect blend of silliness and competence (and occasional straight up ruthlessness). the god of failing upwards and having fun the whole face-planting way

- still thinking about how, when lupin shoots jigen's hat off in their standoff, it's treated as more of a disarming than if he'd actually, y'know, disarmed him. that part is also the only time you see jigen's eyes in this entire special, I'm pretty sure, which is really emphasized by all the close ups during the scenes where he's realizing just how fucked up his employers are and you don't get access to his eyes at all. sort of like a mix of emotional vulnerability + helping him see clearly again going on here, especially since it's heavily hinted riat brings out old bad habits in him (namely numbness, near-fatal levels of unassertiveness and a light sprinkle of suicidality, what a cocktail).

WHAT A FUCKING POWER MOVE!! Lupin really went 'I stole your diamond, I stole your hostage, most importantly I stole your man and unlike you I'm gonna treat him right... and I did it all without wearing any pants (they're in custody. zenigata's got them)'

the way riat keeps talking about lupin in relation to jigen is so funny tho he is one step away from pulling out the 'don't worry I'll get you back to the ol' ball and chain in one piece by the weekend buddy' card

- I'm still cracking up about the fact that lupin made jigen come with him to the store where he was planning to buy ice (as in frozen water) and nothing else, apparently just because he wanted the company, and all he seems to have needed to do was go 'hey jigen c'mon I need you for something let's go' with no further explanation lmao. you needy lil shit lupin <3 (adorable to just have them have a cute domestic conversation as they walk through a comically bad neighbourhood haha, lupin's infodumping about an extremely niche yet intense current interest of his while jigen both follows along and offhandedly averts a robbery, and the situation has the definite vibe that this type of conversation happens regularly between them)

- warning that there is some very questionable stuff around an underage female character in this one and while I think they don't quite cross the line into completely heinous territory with it, it did make me a bit uncomfortable in places so, y'know, mind how you go etc.

let's do as the special and end on this

#lupin iii #seven days rhapsody #arsene lupin iii #daisuke jigen #inspector zenigata #goemon ishikawa xiii #somehow I love that lupin has made sure tiny puppet jigen still has the tiepin lol if he can't be anything else he will always be extra #*nervously eyes the ever-shortening list of lupin stuff I haven't watched yet*#I guess there's always part 2 to get through holy shit but they got so much of that made in such a short time??#jigen x lupin #lupin x zenigata #fujiko x goemon

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