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#and my assignment deadline got extended
autism-corner · 1 month
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guy did it
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neil-gaiman · 10 months
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hi neil !
i have to write a short story for the final assignment worth 90% of my creative writing uni module, it has to be 4k words. i’ve been putting it off for months because 1) i’ve been depressed and can’t find the motivation to do anything, 2) im deathly scared of it being bad because 3) graduating my course counts on the grade i’ll get for it. writing and reading has been a huge motivator to not give up on a future for myself. i am basically terrified of writing and submitting it. all the ideas i have feel bad, or i can’t execute them, or it’s not what the marker would be looking for. i’ve had the deadline extended into summer but i just can’t bring myself to write anything. how do you make yourself write when it matters so much? when something big rests on its quality, and it scares you?
thank you so much :)
There was a colourist I knew who wanted more than anything to colour a comic book I was writing. I got him pages early to start colouring, talked to him about what we were trying to achieve. He was really smart and brilliant and I knew he'd do a great job. The editor was waiting for his work to come in.
He may have started. He may not. I don't know. All I know is he was so obsessed with it being perfect that he never sent the pages in. The person who wound up colouring the comic got the job because we were out of time and our first choice had never sent anything to the editor.
The moral I took from this is that any work, no matter how bad, is better than no work, no matter how brilliant.
I pass this along to you, in the hope that it helps. Divide 4000 by how many days you have to go, and then double that. That's what you have to write each day to get 4K written, with enough time to revise it thoroughly on the other side. Get anything down in the first half of the time. Make it brilliant in the second half of the time.
Good luck.
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madame-fear · 5 months
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Hi, Amira!
I hope you are well and I am very glad that you have opened your requests 🥰🥰
I wanted to ask you if you could write a Jacaerys one shot with this prompt
73. friends to lovers situation. Getting hit with realisation that they're enamoured with you when [character] sees you laughing at someone else's joke, or flirting. Ends in love confession, too.
In a modern AU, Jacaerys and Reader going to a party together at one point get separated and Reader later sees Jace laughing about something with Sara Snow. I would like the confession not to be through an argument. Otherwise, maybe when Jace is taking Reader back to her house, he's worried because she's silent until she says out of nowhere, "I think I like you."
I can't wait to see how you develop this 💖 💖
Please take care of yourself and I wish you luck in your studies 💖 💖
*ೃ༄ 𝐒𝐀𝐘 𝐈𝐓 .ೃ࿐
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★ amira speaks! : Lu my beloved, I got so happy when I got your request! 💖 Thank you very much for all the luck and kindness, sending back to you positive vibes! This was such a great distraction for me to take breaks between my studies. I hope you enjoy this, dear! <333 — summary : [ — ✧ request ] — word count : 4.5k
— pairing : modern!jacaerys velaryon x jealous!reader — genre : friends-to-lovers, a bit of jealousy from the reader, but eventually fluff.
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« 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐖𝐎𝐍’𝐓 𝐃𝐄𝐂𝐄𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐌𝐄, 𝐂𝐀𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐈 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐎𝐎. »
“Come on, it’ll be fun!”
You leaned against your doorframe, with your arms tightly crossed against your chest. A sigh escaped from your nostrils faintly, having Jace’s tall figure towering your own with his height.
It had never been no secret that you had favoured Jacaerys ever since you became friends. Every single time you were together, or someone brought him up casually in a conversation, you were tirelessly teased by all the people that immediatly noticed the rosy hue creeping on your cheeks, dismissing the fact that everyone, including your own family, suspected that you were enamoured by him. You denied it endlessly, even to yourself. All Jace was to you, was your best friend.
Friends and relatives kept insisting that the reason why Jace was nearly glued to you 24/7 despite having other friends to hang out with, was because everyone was so certain that he crushed on you, probably just like you did. You always took their claims between pinches, believing that Jacaerys was merely loving with you, like any best friend would be, and again, you constantly tried dismissing them. You were in absolute denial.
At the present time, you now had the chance of going with Jace to a party, being invited by him and with no other friends from your friends group going with you — as far as you knew —, and unfortunately, you had been left with endless assignments and pending homework to present before the deadline you were given.
“Jace, I have no doubt it will be fun.” you retorted, inhaling a bit before continuing to speak, “But you know I have to study—” quickly, he interrupted you. Jace knew exactly what you would tell him, and he wasn’t having none of it. You were going to get dragged to that party with him, no ‘buts’ allowed.
“I know, I know. But pleeease, come with me?” the way he managed to put on a perfect lost puppy face to be more convincing was tempting you to accept, especially when he extended the word please. It was hard to say no, but you still tried to keep yourself disciplined. “I promise you, I will bring you back home safe and sound early. Please?”
With brief seconds of silence looming over you as you thought of his proposal, you released another sigh, as a little grin tugged at the corner of your lips. A bit of fun would do no harm, after all. And besides, you needed a break from the mind fog seeing all those scholar assignments provoked you.
“Fine. You managed to convince me. I will take my coat with me.” you said, turning around to quickly search for your coat, that surely was tossed on your couch. Immediatly his coffee-coloured eyes twinkled joyfully, stupidly offering you a toothy grin from excitement. Before getting back inside, you turned around, pointing your index finger at him.
“But, you promised you will be getting me back home early,” it was difficult to have a serious expression on your features while noticing how hardly he was fighting back a childlish little proud smile quivering on his rosy, plushy lips. “And you will be fulfilling that promise.”
And with that, Jace nodded eagerly. It was impossible not to adore him with the personified golden retriever vibes he carried. “Understood, ma’am.”
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Going from your house to the house where the party had been hosteed was only a short drive. The moment you set foot on the ground off of his car, swiftly closing the car door behind of you, you could even hear from outside the loud music blasting inside and see some flashing bright lights that perfectly set the partying mood. It wasn’t your first time going to a party with a friend, of course, but this one seemed to be louder and more messy.
As soon as you were kindly greeted inside by one of his acquaintances — that was the party hoster as well —, your eyes curiously stared at the ambience. The strong scent of alcohol mixed with the smoke coming from some lit cigarettes was already intoxicating, and everyone seemed to be dazed into their own little worlds. Being such a large house, you felt a bit lost, unconsciously clinging to Jace to avoid getting lost.
“Wow,” you muttered quietly, observing attentively your surroundings. “This place is huge.” Jace quietly chuckled to himself at your reaction, noticing how amused you were at the environment. “I might just get lost at any given chance.” while that was meant to sound as a joke, truth remained under the lines of your statement. He rolled his eyes playfully.
“I know, right?” he retorted, beginning to walk around the large house, getting amidst the crowd of people. “But, don’t worry. You won’t actually get lost, you know? You get used to it eventually.” you walked behind of him like a lost puppy, almost. Your eyes curiously wandered around, occasionally craning your head around and pausing on your steps to mentally guide yourself through the house. Taking slow steps to allow you to catch up with him, a wide grin appeared on his lips as he turned around to look on you.
“Don’t worry about getting lost, love. You can easily find your way back whenever you want. And there’s always someone who can help you, so don’t be afraid of asking for directions.” you nodded in agreement, feeling relieved at his words. The feeling of heat began creeping on your cheeks leisurely, becoming a crimson tint on your face. Hearing him refer to you as love, despite being used to him being this endearing with you, never failed to make you feel like a little schoolgirl with a crush. Everytime that feeling grew inside of you, you quickly tried thinking of something else to pretend you had never just felt those types of emotions with your best friend.
It was unbeknownst to you that the eldest Velaryon boy pretty much felt flustered of having your presence so near to his own, without having any other mutual friend around you. Noticing the blatant crimson shade forming on your cheeks, with his hand Jacaerys playfully ruffled your hair in a teasing manner, like he always used to be around you. “Or perhaps, I could also just leave you around here by yourself without you realising... And you’ll actually see it’s not so hard to find your way back.” he said with a chuckle spurring from your lips. Rolling your eyes again, you pushed his hand from your now chaotic hair from his ruffling, fighting back a grin to form on your lips.
“Do that and I will kill you. Mark my words.” now, he snickered a bit loudly at your comments. for Jace, being annoyed at his own teasing simply made you more loveable for him. He wouldn’t actually admit it, much like yourself, as he felt shy enough to even think about admitting such thing to you, but one of the reasons Jace adored playing around with you and getting you annoyed, or even calling you endearing nicknames, was to simply see your pretty cheeks light up all thanks to him. And he took pride on it.
Several minutes then had passed, with you walking by his side, nearly glued to his body. Jace walked around the large house, trying not to stumble upon the crowds of people in each space, as he lead you to different rooms to show you around. During several moments when you got distracted, you caught glimpses of people dazing themselves off with the alcohol, smoking, or even couples laying on the couches or hiding in a corner notoriously kissing in a rather fervent manner.
Curiously, without thinking much about it as over the passing time you grew slightly more confident inside the house where the party was being hosted, you decided to explore around by yourself. Not that you had forgotten about Jace, of course, but you had all the confidence in the world of strolling around the large party knowing Jace was near you. You hadn’t distanced yourself much from him, or at least you tried not to merely as to not test your own luck; it was just a few random rooms and spaces that you decided to briefly explore, before turning around and walking towards one of the rooms where you had caught a glimpse of Jace going to.
“I have no idea how you can easily walk around here without getting lost.” you spoke naturally, with your voice slightly raised due to the loudly blasting music, assuming Jace was going to be there where you thought you had seen him. “I mean, I get it that you’ve been here several times but Jesus Christ, I would get lost over and over each time.” you continued joking, with your hands on your pockets as your gaze lingered on the ground for a few seconds before raising them to look at Jacaerys.
But there was no sight of him, only a few small groups of people that talked with each other. Without realising, Jace apparently had kept walking mindlessly around, disappearing amidst the rooms and the large crowd of people that occupied the broad spaces. And by the time you tried to keep up with him after trying to quickly explore the house, you immediatly realised you had lost Jace from near sight.
Abruptly stopping on your steps, in the middle of one of the halls surrounded by sy strangers, you tried scanning the place. For fucks sake, how could have Jace disappeared in the blink of an eye? He was just around where you had been, he couldn’t be so far away! You could feel your heart slightly starting to pound against your chest, that provoked a burdening disorientated sensation on you at being in such vast, unknown space.
“Jace?” lifting your voice slightly, you turned around again, moving your gaze absolutely everywhere. A frustrated huff escaped from you. “You can easily find your way back whenever you want,” he said, “You won’t get lost.” and here you where. At that moment, you remembered the moment Jacaerys said he would abruptly leave you to your own so you would know how to find your way back. But, knowing him, it was most likely that he probably left you alone by accident rather than currently be playing around with you.
You were about to kill him for leaving you around by yourself, without a doubt.
The nerves were beginning to overwhelm you, feeling lightheaded at the disorientation you currently had. To which, you decided to trace back your steps, managing to guide yourself to the living hall where most of the guests were, and it was near the main front door. Maybe he was right, once you explored around and got used to this strangers — his acquaintances — house, you would get used to it.
After spending the few next minutes tracing back all of the rooms you had gone through, with your anxiety rising with the slow passing of the seconds, you released a sigh of relief the moment you reached the main living room. Perhaps Jace was there, or if you didn’t find him, you would just leave and wait outside next to his car — sooner or later, he would realise you weren’t there.
The blaring music coming from the speakers had increased in sound, as well as the loud chattering and drunken giggles. You reached the crowd full of people, occasionally tiptoeing a bit, nearly bumping into some as to spot for Jacaerys. You eventually found yourself nearly surfing into the crowds of people, being careful as to not spill anyone’s drink or anything. As you tiptoed again, you managed to spot Jace in a corner, making you feel relieved to have caught a glimpse of him. Immediatly, you rushed towards him, still being cautious due to the vast amount of guests.
And as you got nearer him, you realised a bit late that he was hanging around with a girl. Soft laughter spurred from his rosy lips as his eyes twinkled, hearing very faintly how they made silly comments.
You recognised the girl immediatly, as you had often seen her in the group of friends you shared with Jacaerys, and in a way, she could be considered rather popular. It was none other than Sara Snow. A tinge of jealousy overwhelmed you abruptly, feeling a tight knot forming on your stomach. You had to admit to yourself, she was literally beautiful; with long dark hair, fair skin, and in general, all her features were absolutely beateous. Sara knew how to be charming and endearing, but knowing how close to Jacaerys she was, it simply made you want to vanish right there and forget you had seen him laughing along her silly remarks and being close to one another.
A great burden sat on your chest rather uncomfortably, yet it was hard to gaze away. And now all you wanted, despite being hesitant in approaching them, was simply to leave. For those dreadful seconds that you stood there, almost out of the crowd, staring at them; you were leisurely being hit with the realisation that... Maybe, after all, your friends and relatives were right all along despite your constant denial and dismissing. You were indeed enamoured of Jacaerys. You were head over heels for him, and you felt a part of you being ripped apart brutally at the sight of him hanging around so casually with another woman.
Part of you tried to keep denying it, but another part of yourself, was much more strongly accepting the feelings that remained hidden in you for such a long time. You gulped anxiously, feeling a lump choke your throat, having a mix of jealousy, anger, and disappointment. Of course, you were well aware that both of them laughing and talking meant nothing... Probably. But either way, you had a growingly strenuous need of pulling him away with her, and having him taking you home again.
A shaky huff escaped from you, feeling your hands trembling from all the burning jealousy that had been ignited inside of you. “Jacaerys!” you brought his attention, immediatly breaking their conversation as you approached them, and their gazes fell on you. His coffee eyes seemed to become brighter at the sight of you, offering you a dumbfounding toothy grin. Gods, he could make you melt right there. “(y/n)! I had been looking for you, but I simply assumed—”
You interrupted him abruptly, moving your stare to Sara for a moment. “Sorry, I’m stealing him away from you for the rest of the night. But it was lovely seeing you again!” those words were nearly spat, sounding harshly cold before looking back at Jacaerys, forcing a smile. “We have to go. It’s getting late for me, remember?” your words came rushed as you raised your eyebrows at him, and Jace seemed to be completely oblivious about how you were seething.
His eyes were widen in realisation at the time, remembering you had to get back home early. The party had been a mere study break for you, that was all. “Oh, yes! You’re right, sorry!” he quickly apologised, looking at you for a moment, before staring at the girl in front of him. “It was lovely talking to you, Sara, see you another ti—”
Not holding yourself back from the smothering jealousy that seemed to increase with the passing of the seconds, you abruptly took Jace’s hand. It was the first time you had actually held hands, especially with such a tight grip as your own, currently. His hands were warm, and his skin had some sort of velvet texture. His eyes widened in surprise at your actions, realising that your physical contact seemed very soothing, in a way.
A faint rosy tint formed on his cheeks, as well as your own, starting to drag him away from Sara Snow, and the entire party. He managed to wave goodbye to her in a hurried way, but really, his focus was now on you like it always had been.
Your steps were loud against the floor, nearly stomping. There was something in the atmosphere around you that clearly indicated, you weren’t exactly holding the most positive vibes. Maybe something had happened, besides you wanting to get home early to study and present your assignments on time, and he wasn’t aware of it. The door was swiftly open, taking him outside with you, and you slammed it close immediatly. In a way, you felt embarrassed of not hiding the fact that you weren’t content, but it didn’t matter at the moment.
“Jacaerys Velaryon, I will so kill you. I’m getting late.” you muttered between your clenched teeth, letting go of his hand so he can use his keys to unlock the car, and get inside. Those words didn’t mean to sound angry, but rather, as if you were rushed. And you were, you now wanted to get back home and simply forget about the situation and the own realisation of your feelings. “I’m sorry! I thought you had found your own way around the rooms to have fun!” he shouted back, excusing himself. There was no lie in it, he was merely being innocently genuine having thought that you would follow him, but then noticed how you kept exploring the vast rooms.
Reaching the car door, you opened it, and wasted no time in getting inside of it. Loud slamming was heard from both of you, as he felt a certain discontented hurried vibe to you. It was clear in your words, way of acting, and the certain frowny face you expressed. Fastening your seatbelts, he wasted no time in getting the car started, faintly hearing in the background how the music continued being played, and everyone was immersed in their own little world. Pressing your head against the window with your arms tightly crossed against your chest, you tried to balance the feeling of being angrily moody at the situation, and as well, balancing how you suddenly realised that you did in fact fancy him more than just a best friend.
It was hard for you to admit it. And having to find out about your feelings thanks to another woman so blatantly trying to flirt with Jace and scooting closer to him wasn’t the best manner to find out. Jealousy rooted itself venomously on your stomach and chest, fighting back against the memories of them laughing and talking ever so casually. But at the same time, you felt awkwardly embarrassed of having that outburst with no control of your emotions in front of him. He had no fault in your own emotions, Jace was simply kind and polite with everyone, and obviously he just wanted you to have some fun with him.
As the car started, the rest of the ride was entirely noiseless. Awkward silence bloomed with the passing seconds, only hearing very silently the wind gushing through the slightly open car windows, and the sound of a few cars driving past you. Your eyes were fixed on the view of your passenger window, not daring to even flinch or move to avoid making things more awkward and tense, somehow.
Having known you for quite some time, Jace always sensed when something was wrong with you, and being the lovingly caring person he is — especially when it comes to you —, he always felt the imminent and only natural preoccupation growing in him.
The car leisurely stopped from driving as you had to pull up in front of a red light; being merely a few blocks away from reaching your house. Your arms continued tightly crossed against you, with your head leaned against the car window. The soft gushing of the wind continued passing through the slightly open windows, feeling refreshed in a way to have the cool breeze hit delicately against your face in such a tense moment between the two of you. Maybe you had overreacted, as you really wasn’t angry with him; you were overwhelmed with
Despite not daring to turn your head and stare at him, or even speak up about what happened, you could feel his gaze piercing on you with concern. His fingers fidgeted anxiously as he dreadfully awaited for the red lights to turn green. Clearing his throat, Jace decided to speak up first for both of you. “(y/n), are you... Alright?” he inquired, with a low cooing tone, fixing his stare on you. Your body stiffened slightly as he broke the ice in the atmosphere, but slowly tried to relax.
His eyes returned to the steering wheel and the road, the moment the green light brightly reflected upon both of you. The car continued moving, but in a tranquil manner as you were about to return home in a few minutes. “You seem upset,” jace continued. With your arms still crossed, you shyly decided to face him. “Did something happen back there that I need to be aware of?” gods, he was such a caring person. You felt bad of having reacted that way around him, but at the same time, you knew you couldn’t possibly be angry with him. In fact, you simply felt jealous towards Sara Snow, but not really upset. “Or... D-Did I do, or say anything to possibly make you feel angry at me?”
Despite not wanting to get his eyes off the road, his gaze met your own for a second, before entering the block where your house was located. At hearing his words and the hint of genuine concern behind his voice tone, your heart dropped heavily. Your eyes widened, as you shook your head. The least of things you wished right now, was to possibly make him feel bad at himself for a simple misunderstanding. In any case, you felt like the one to blame for the situation. “No, no! It’s alright, you didn’t say or do anything!” you clarified quickly, feeling your heart beating against your chest nervously.
“I-It’s just that, I...” you trailed off, stroking your arm with your hand up and down in a very slow manner rather awkwardly. Swallowing anxiously, you were uncertain whether to be honest with him, or simply keep up with the lie that you dragged him out of there because you were getting home later than expected. But, as bold as speaking up for your feelings was, with the risk of him possibly not reciprocating them, you felt the ardent need of admitting it to him. At least, it was much better than leaving him worried about you, or wondering what could’ve happened to you to react in such a strange, unlikely-of-you manner.
With a few seconds that passed, with an awkward silence being left after you left mumbled words to trail off into nothingness, the car eventually pulled up in front of your house. You sat in the passenger seat nervously, feeling a knot in your stomach, fidgeting with your fingers. As he stopped the car, his eyes managed to properly focus on you now, attentively hearing whatever you had to say. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Jace. You could never make me feel upset,” you began. Softly, you inhaled air, lingering your gaze on your lap before raising it to stare at his own eyes.
“I think I like you.” you blurted out, immediatly swallowing.
Slowly, realisation dawned upon him. His lips parted very slightly as if to speak, but no words came, not for some time at least. Jacaerys seemed to be taken aback by this abrupt confession of yours, unsure of how to respond back to it. You bit down on your lower lip, waiting. The silence felt thick and heavy, suffocating you. His cheeks became a notorious crimson hue, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion.
“(y/n),” he whispered, looking at you, “Do... D-Do you really mean it?” his words came out as if he were in utter disbelief. For his friends and close acquaintances, it was wellknown that Jace badly swooned after you, and his gaze never failed to be fixed on yours the moment he spotted you somewhere; unfortunately provoking him endless teasing. His cheeks became a notorious crimson hue, taking over his pale skin. You swallowed again, feeling the pressure build in your throat as your heart began to beat faster.
“Yes. I... I do mean it.” you admitted, nodding earnestly. Jace didn’t say anything further but you could tell from his expression that he was satisfied enough to know your answer. Silence kept hanging around the environment after you admitted it, dropping your gaze to your lap once again out of embarrassment, noticing that Jacaerys wasn’t saying anything else.
But you were surprised when one of his hands delicately, yet firmly lifted your head by your chin, and he leaned closer to you. Softly holding you by your chin, his lips were pressed against your own. They were beautifully plushy, enough for you to have the need to nibble on them playfully. Your eyes initially widened at the feeling of his warm lips locking with your own, but eventually they fluttered shut, allowing him to do as he pleased.
It was gentle at first, then gradually it became slightly more intense, tilting your head to your side to kiss him deeper. He held you securely with his arms around your waist, kissing you so tenderly that it seemed as if Jace had waited years for this to happen. You felt his hand travelling to the back of your neck, with his fingers reaching your hair and tangling themselves up on it’s silky strands. After what seemed to be an eternity, despite merely being almost a minute, your lips parted from one another.
With your eyes opening again, panting from the lack of air during the kiss, a silly little grin tugged at the corner of your lips, quivering until it became a proper toothy grin. Both your faces were equally flustered, as some giggles spurred from your now glossy lips. His arms remained around you, holding you dearly. “You could’ve said so much sooner, you know that?” he mumbled, gazing down at you tenderly with his beautiful brown eyes.
His lips went to your forehead, placing a loving smooch on your skin. His fingers continued lazily playing with strands of your hair, twirling them around his finger. You were nearly breathless, allowing your head to rest against the crook of his neck. It hadn’t taken him long to notice you had become jealous at Sara Snow... But why get jealous, when all he could possibly think about all day long was you?
“You know,” Jace continued, resting his chin on top of your head. He knew you had to go back to your home soon, but the least he wanted was for this moment to end. “I think I should get you jealous more often, somehow it makes you look prettier than you already are.” a proud smirk appeared on his lips at his own teasing, feeling you click your tongue as to dismiss his words, and you immediatly looked up at him; several chuckles escaping from Jacaerys at your reaction.
“You are such an idiot,” you began, helplessly smiling back at him. Your nails gently scraped his skin under his chin, slightly leaning to kiss his jaw. “But you’re lucky I adore you just like that.”
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♡ taglist : ♡
@damatheirin @jacesvelaryons @jjamieberry @anemicroyalcore @countsmoon @tickle-euphoria @beeebo234 @manuholland6 @capellaadara @kyuupidwrites @tchatso @phantasyy @mstxdes @valeriecash @cookielovesbook-akie @zzz000eee @bellarkeselection @visenya-reigned @maria699669 @hopelesswritergall @sweethoneyblossom1 @jamiemydeer @snowprincesa1
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shamemp3 · 2 months
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god bless this snow day i needed it so bad. and all my deadlines got extended like my paper due today is now due the 18th and my presentation that was going to be on friday is now due after reading week so i only have 1 paper and 1 assignment due tmrw now and the paper is short (1k words) but the readings are all by philosophers that yap too much and i cant understand jack shit
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trek-tracks · 1 year
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What generic wisdom and/or life advice do you have? Here's an acorn for your trouble: 🌰
Oh, goodness! Talk about an intimidating ask.
When I think about existence, two quotations always come to my mind from authors who have been important to me at various stages of my life.
The first, from Kurt Vonnegut's God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater:
Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you've got about a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies — "God damn it, you've got to be kind."
The second, the last line from Robertson Davies' final novel, The Cunning Man:
“This is the Great Theatre of Life. Admission is free, but the taxation is mortal. You come when you can, and leave when you must. The show is continuous. Goodnight.”
These are two thoughts by which I've tried to lead my life.
The first lesson is kindness.
As an educator and person in a certain position of power over people's learning journeys, I'd like to say that kindness costs me nothing. That's not true. Kindness costs me late nights, extra review sessions, letting people hand in assignments in ways that are detrimental to my own time and stress. Connecting with so many people on a daily basis can be emotionally exhausting.
If there's one thing I have worked on more and more in my life (and need to continue to work on), it's walking the fine line between being kind and being taken advantage of.
However, I operate from the following perspective:
Everyone is having a difficult time, and there are things in other people's lives that are not "dreamt of in my philosophy," so to speak.
This perspective makes my life richer. I have never understood people who rigidly stick to a "one size fits all" mindset. I listen to people. I prioritize the person over the dropbox deadline. I say nice things to my family, my friends, my colleagues, my students, when I can. I practice grace in most things.
This also means that, when I do draw a boundary (for example, in my work as a professor, I do not tolerate plagiarism once I have very clearly taught what it entails), people can see that there is a clear difference between my usual practice of grace, and my ethical framework. It also means that people are more likely to extend me grace in return. I need it. We all do.
The second lesson is passion.
This is the Great Theatre of Life. We don't get to choose much about it, but we do get to shape the show.
I was talking to a former student the other evening, after I came across him in the lobby after my Lord of the Rings performance. He said to me that I was one of the few faculty he'd had that wasn't cynical or jaded yet, which is why he'd enjoyed my class.
The funny thing is, that's not entirely true.
In many ways, I'm very cynical. A fellow faculty member once said of me, in an approving tone, that I was "impressively jaded for one so young." Look. I'm Jewish. I'm bi. I'm disabled (in the chronic often invisible illness way). I know what the world can dish out, and I can kvetch with the best of them. But that's mostly because I want to believe we can do better. In any case, I can only control myself. I can do better.
First, I want everyone I teach to know that reading, writing, critical thinking, loving language, loving literature and theatre, are all things they can do, even if those gates have seemed barred. Opening these gates together can help them. I like to break things down as clearly and succinctly as possible. I don't expect people to show enthusiasm for something if I'm not showing it myself. Do I sometimes get super-mega-frustrated with the results I'm getting? Of course. There are parts of my job and my life that suck. Do I throw myself into things head-first with enthusiasm anyway? Always.
I do the things I love. I see tons of theatre. I make theatre. I sing (even if you "can't" sing, find time to do it anyway). I tell stories. I spend time with friends. If I have a choice to go to the thing or stay home, I go to the thing. I support my friends. I make people LAUGH, because I love that more than anything. I curl these things around me like a warm cat on a lap. And I try not to get jaded by the offerings around me, no matter how many shows I go to or how many papers I read. (I don't always succeed.) Can you imagine, though, how amazing it is to have a life where you're in danger of getting jaded simply by the sheer amount of art on offer?
Four years ago, a student came to me after the second week of my rhetorical analysis class. She told me that she had dropped the course with other faculty twice because she was intimidated by it. We were talking about one of the course readings for the week, which was a 35-year-old essay by a now-dead white man (everything she was not) with very strong opinions on the need to properly state your ideas in exactly the correct words to prove you were thinking.
She said, about the reading, “I didn’t understand it when I read it and thought I was stupid. But then, when you said it might not have been written with me in mind, I felt better. And then, when you broke it down and I understood it, I liked how much I liked that feeling.” Then she said something that made me cry in my office: “Things happen for a reason. I had to drop that class twice so I could meet you.”
She came to office hour after office hour. We spent time working on her writing and discussing what her particular frame of reference brought to her understanding of each week's readings.
She had dropped the course twice because she "couldn't do it."
She left with an A.
She left with a new sense of agency over her own experience of the wonder of the world.
What does it cost to be kind, and to love things?
What do we gain?
This is the Great Theatre of Life. All we can do is put on a show of kindness, watching with wonder before we depart.
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arminsesposa · 10 months
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Serein 1.archaic : the supposed fall of dew from a clear sky just after sunset. (Hispanic GN reader x Miles Morales 1610!)
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This is my first piece of work so depending how it does I’ll make more parts :p I didn’t add much Spanish but in the other parts there will be so trust me lol. Events take place somewhat during ATSV but give me time LOL
It was an early Monday Morning as the chattering of students filled the halls.
Some students talking about the recent soccer game, or about how AP Scores come out soon. You walked along the hall with your AirPods in as your AP English Literature teacher assigned you guys a project despite the AP test being over.
You walked along the hall, as you carried what seemed like 200 pound book on Hamlet. “Me Vale verga esta clase” you muttered to yourself as your friend Sophia tagged along your side with a poptart in hand. “Maybe she’ll extend the deadline” Sophia said in a hopeful tone. “Yeah in my dreams” you scoffed as you both turned on the hallway almost a few feet from your classroom. Almost inches away, a familiar boy with messy hair and Jordan’s rushes by you, bumping into you as you dropped your book, the papers in it falling out. “No mames güey!” You cussed out a little too loud as students stare at you as you glare at the boy, who only looks back and shrugs his shoulder as an apology. Sophia helps pick up the papers as you carried your book. Again your eyebrows together in anger. “I think we have him for AP Spanish With Mrs.Campos” Sophia responded trying to look for him. “He didn’t even apologize” you said rolling your eyes as you say goodbye to her and walk into your English class.
During the boring English class you couldn’t shake off the moment he bumped into you, as you got angry. Part of you also curious why he was in a rush. You tried to think to yourself what his name was, as you probably talked to him a few times before, as it clicked. His name was Miles Morales, the student who always sleeps during the Spanish Documentaries and Always arrived 20 minutes late to class. Part of you knew that you weren’t gonna let this slide as you thought of a plan to approach him. As soon as you finished reading the damn book.
As what seemed like forever, English was over as you walked through the halls trying to look for Miles. As soon as you saw the gigantic puffer jacket you made your way to him. “Hey! You with that big ass puffer Jacket” You shouted catching his attention as Miles looked around to see if you were truly talking to him. As you finally made your way to him, you realized how much taller her was as you had to raise your head a little up to talk to him. “First of all, thanks for bumping into me and spilling all my papers” you said sarcastically as you rolled your eyes. “And you didn’t even apologize” you crossed your arms over your chest waiting for a response. Miles looked a bit embarrassed as he tried to think of an excuse.
“Sorry, I was in a rush if you didn’t notice” he responded sheepishly, hoping you wouldn’t be super upset as he apologized. “I’ll promise I’ll make it up to you… (y/n??”. He said in a somewhat confused tone hoping he got your name right. “Yeah, we have AP Spanish Together 5th period, you’re always sleeping during the Cantinflas movies” You responded with a laugh as you both chuckled. Before he could say something, he looked distracted by something behind the window you were standing as he apologized one more time. “Look I truly am sorry and didn’t mean to bump into you, but I gotta go I’ll see you soon”. He immediately said as before you could even respond he rushed off leaving you standing alone in the hall. You took a minute to process everything that happened as you just blinked before walking off to look for Sophia.
As 5th period passed, you realized you didn’t see Miles anymore as you though how he probably ditched. For some reason you found yourself worried about him as Sophia snapped in front of your face. “You okay?” She asked worryingly as you focused on your Spanish worksheet. “I’m good, just a little distracted” you responded back filling in the Spanish worksheet. “I forgot to tell you, I have softball practice so we can’t walk home together, me perdonas?” Sophia’s asked as she brought her hands together waiting for you to answer. “You’re such a dumbass sometimes, and it’s fine I’ll probably just go straight home” you said as you laughed at Sophia’s gesture.
As the school day was over, you walked out through the back of the school. The cool breeze touched your skin as you took a deep breath of the cool air. You put on your AirPods, and shuffled your liked songs as you began to walk home. You didn’t live too far from the school, but it was far. You walked by the tagged walls, the small stores, the bus stops and the fruit stands as you were close to home. You saw a bodega nearby as you walked in and greeted the cashier. You had some extra money and was thinking of buying some snacks to eat at home. As you turned to the aisle you came across a tall mysterious figure with Spots stand right in front of you.
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white-poppie · 8 months
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Hello poppies, update on my life cause it has been a while.
I received the results of my board exams and got 6As and 1A*/A+. Not what I expected, but I am happy. This year's papers were really tough and the average worldwide is super low, They did sm with the marking this time, I was reading.
I am now the co-editor-in-chief of my school. I desperately wanted to be House Captain, but they gave me a higher position with too much stress and deadlines.
I have been really sick these days with frequent colds and fevers along with dizzy-spells
On 28th August, my Bua (paternal aunt--dad's younger sister) passed away from dengue accompanied by several cardiac arrests. It took a huge toll on me because I was really close to her.
Since the adults are grieving, I am the one who has to be strong and do all the errands and arrangements for all the grievers and the funeral processes (we have several funeral processes in Hinduism.) As my other cousins are way too insensitive.
My older brother (Bua's son) is not in a very good state right now and he is not opening up to anyone except me and my dad, It's a lot on him and he has too many regrets.
My school schedule is packed with deadlines and assignments and exams are approaching and teachers too can only extend so much. I just have to step up and take care of everything.
I am the youngest in my house, but since no one else is running errands, I, as the eldest brother's daughter (my dad) will do everything.
I will try to post when I can, but I have too much on my plate right now.
With Love, Gauri
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bluejay-writes · 4 months
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Heaven is a Misnomer - Chapter 1
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To protect him from his unsafe home life, Jake's mother sends him to the Celestial Realm for an exchange program. Jake faces a pile of Celestial Realm biases, a broken system of oppression, and unlikely friends. This year is going to be unpleasant at best, but he'll survive. Hopefully.
Fandom: Shall We Date?: Obey Me! Rating: Teen, for now. Might bump it up for violence but I don't think it'll get that bad. Chapter 1 Wordcount: 3136 Characters/Relationships: Jake (Exchange student OC) / Raphael (Eventually. This is a slow burn). Michael exists, mentions of all the demon brothers and extras exist, and they appear in some of the middle chapters. A bunch of new OC angels because we don't know enough about the celestial realm in canon. Notes:
Well fam, here we are, as promised. First week of 2024, Jake's story in the Celestial Realm. Bad Khakis. Michael being problematic.
I'm really excited for you all to get to meet the extended OC cast, given that we don't have a lot of named angels in canon! Also the exchange students that got introduced in DD get fleshed out so that you can meet them more as real people. (The more I write of this the more I love Bunny and Aya, honestly.)
I'll be posting a chapter every Tuesday, and given how long the chapters are turning out and how many chapters I've got plotted past what I've written, I hope you're down for another ~100k word ride.
This follows the canon timeline, and is happening simultaneously with "Devils in the Details" which chronicles Nia's first year of the exchange program in the Devildom. If you're here and sad that there aren't a ton more scenes with the demon brothers, well! There's a whole fic for that already! Knowledge of that fic is not necessary to read this one, but the tie ins make it fun!
You can also read this on AO3, if that's your jam!
|| Next Chapter >
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Chapter 1: What do you mean, Exchange Program?
“Same time tomorrow, Mr. Costello?”
“Yes, Ma’am.” Jake said, a smile plastered onto his face as though it was the most important thing in his world, and that he hadn’t been fighting tears for the last twenty minutes.
He’d been having tutoring sessions over lunch time for his entire high school career.  It had been the cause of no end of strife in his school life, but it was better for him than not.  The tutoring sessions were a cover, of course, for counseling sessions. Therapy. It was something his mother had worked out with the school counselor the moment she knew what school he was going to.  Jake had always been a troubled kid, and his mother wanted to avoid that kind of thing following him to high school.
This of course, was the cause of a ton of rumors that made his life ridiculous, but Jake was the king of gossip and rumors, so he was entirely too happy to either play along or do something completely contrary to what they were spreading that made the rumormongers look like idiots.
On his way to his locker, Jake glanced down at his phone. He still had five minutes before passing time to wolf down his sandwich. He was leaving the bathroom after washing his hands when he practically ran into his bestie Nia making a beeline for the ladies’ room.  She didn’t seem to even notice him, and he pursed his lips.  Great. Something happened while she was reading under the bleachers again.  That was the only real downside to his lunchtime therapy sessions. He never got to have lunch with his bestie, and as much as she claimed to love the time for reading, he knew she was dealing with her own personal hell. People were assholes. Especially their fellow students.
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“Jacob, can you see me at my desk, please?”
Jake sighed, stepping up to his Chemistry teacher’s desk.
“Care to explain why you didn’t turn in last week’s assignment? The late work deadline was Monday.” He said, lips pursed in a way that made Jake think of a cranky old woman librarian.
“I did, Mr. Cook.” Of course he did. Jake did all of his homework, it was the one reliable escape at home.
“I have no record of your lab report, nor the associated worksheets.”
Jake bit back his retort. Fighting with Mr. Cook about this never worked, and only got the Chemistry teacher more and more on his case.
“I have the slip you signed when I turned it in.” Jake said, pulling out his binder and getting out the slip in question. He refused to let go of the paper, simply showing it to the teacher. He just knew if he let go of the signed slip that it too would get “lost”.  He didn’t know if Mr. Cook did it on purpose, but his grades were suffering because this man was determined that he never did his work.  The signed turn-in slips were his mother’s idea, after the last parent-teacher conference where his academic reputation had been dragged in the mud. Mrs. Costello was having absolutely none of that, she knew full well how much focus her boy put on his academics.
“Ah. I see that you do.” the teacher said, and seemed to set his jaw. “I will have to look into what might have happened on my end.”
“Please.” Jake said. He was thinking ‘See that you do.’ but he just had this feeling if he said that out loud he’d never hear the end of it. “Is there anything else, Mr. Cook?”
“No, that is everything I need from you, Mr. Costello.”
“Great, can I have a pass to my next class? I still need to stop at my locker, and—“
“You’ll be fine if you hustle.” Mr. Cook said, and then promptly dismissed Jake from his attention.
Jake cursed internally, and walked out of the room as fast as he could - he couldn’t do with being yelled at for running, but he was going to need to pull off the power walk of his life if he didn’t want to be late to his last class of the day.
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“Welcome home, Jakey.” his mom said from the kitchen, where she was busily cooking dinner.
“Hey Mom.” Jake said, setting his bag by the stairs and plopping down at the kitchen counter.
“And how was school?”
“I had to show Mr. Cook one of his signed assignment slips today.”
“Seriously? That man gets on my last nerve.” 
Jake watched as his mother chopped ingredients for dinner slightly more aggressively than she had been.
“It should be fine. If not, I can go to the AP’s office and complain directly.”
“Heaven help that man if I have to get involved again.”
“I still think he’s just homophobic and taking it out on me because I’m the one most publicly out at school.”
“It could be, as much as I hate to say it.” his mother said, sliding the chopped vegetables into the skillet. “But maybe we shouldn’t talk about that right now—“
“Talk about what?”
Jake froze at the sound of his father’s voice from behind him. Shit. He’s home early.
“I was thinking it was possible that Mr. Cook is intentionally ‘losing’ my assignments because I’m gay, is all.” Jake trailed off towards the end of his sentence. He knew how this was about to go down.
“Some teacher is losing your things.”
“Yes. I have pr—“
“And it’s because you’re supposedly gay.”
“It could be.”
“So tell him you’re not gay. Then it’s handled.”
“That would be a lie, dad.”
“You’re kidding, right Jacob? This whole thing is a joke, haha, joke’s on old dad.”
Jake looked up at his dad and winced.
“No, I’m not kidding, dad. I’m gay.”  It was probably the fifth time he’d accidentally outed himself to his father.  It wasn’t like his dad was old enough to have Alzheimer's or something, he was just usually too drunk to remember anything the next day.
“Oh Andy, leave the kid be. You know it’s just a phase.”  His mother said from the kitchen, and he winced. That was her way out of this argument every time.  Honestly, all he wanted was his dad to realize that being gay wasn’t the worst thing that a kid could be these days. It wasn’t even that rare for a kid to be gay, especially in the city.
It wouldn’t be that big of a deal, really, his dad not thinking the highest of him, but he knew that when his dad got upset like this… well… it went bad for his mom, real fast.
“Yeah sure, just a phase.”  his dad said, and threw his bottle against the wall.  From the way it splattered, it wasn’t quite empty, either.  Jake didn’t look forward to cleaning that up.
Here we fucking go. Jake thought. He started to say something, but his mother spoke before he could.
“Jake, go to your room.” His mother said, gaining all of his father’s attention.
“What, Marnie. You just going to take his side?” his father spat, and Jake all but sprinted up to his room, grabbing his bag on the way.  There was a reason he always left it against the stairs, much as he wished there wasn’t.
He got into his room and shut his door, practically collapsing into his desk chair. Perfect way to spend a Thursday night, he thought, pulling out his math homework and his phone.
Jake > Nia: Nia, they’re at it again. Nia > Jake: Oh shit. What this time? Jake > Nia: Same shit, different day. Dad found out I’m gay, I guess. Nia > Jake: You came out to your parents more than a year ago!!! Nia > Jake: How many times is this going to happen? Jake > Nia: I don’t know. What can I do? I can’t.. Anything. Nia > Jake: You know you’re always welcome here. Jake > Nia: I can’t leave my mom. Nia > Jake: I know. Hey look on the bright side, tomorrow’s Friday. Jake > Nia: Friday… gods bless Friday, I need my Ma hugs. Nia > Jake: Me too! Also it’s Pizza and Ice Cream Friday. Jake > Nia: Now there’s inspiration to get my math homework done.
Downstairs, more glass shattered, and Jake winced. He just hoped his mom was going to be okay, after this.  He knew he’d hear all about it tomorrow, how much he was a bad son, and did he have any idea what she went through for him…
I really do understand. Jake sighed, and put his headphones on.  The music was far too loud, but it served to drown out the mess that was his home life so that he had a chance to get his homework done.
Now… how was this supposed to work again? A squared plus B squared…
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Jake woke suddenly to a hand on his shoulder, and jumped so hard he almost fell off of his bed.
“Sorry Jakey.” his mom said quietly. “Your dad’s out again. I brought you some dinner.” She set the bowl of vegetable-heavy macaroni and cheese on his desk.
“You don’t need to apologize, mom.” Jake said, reaching out to pull his mom into a hug. “It’s not your fault he’s like this.”
“I know, baby. But you deserve better.”  She ruffled his hair, and chuckled. “Looks like we need to trim your sides again.”
“Oh no, am I getting scruffy?”
“Just a little bit.”
Jake felt a strong need to put a hat on. Scruffy did not fit his aesthetic one bit.
Honestly, he wasn’t sure he fit his own aesthetic at all.
Circumstances made it so that he came out of the closet way earlier than he really felt comfortable, but he knew that if he was just himself, but gay, that it would backfire.  So instead, he was flamboyant, expressive Jake.
At least in the privacy of his own bedroom he could be himself. Quiet, melancholy Jake. Much less bright than anyone thought he was.  Anyone but Nia, at least. His bestie knew him inside and out, so at least he had that going for him.
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Friday dawned like any other day ending in Y, and Jake hauled himself out of bed and to school. Early, of course, for track practice.  His mornings were utterly incomplete without a long run.  Something that helped him clear his mind and get his school mask settled into place.
Of course, by the time he was in the locker room showering off the sweat and changing out of his running gear, the rumors and gossip were already flying.  There were two new students today. Something about an exchange program.  Jake soaked in as much gossip as he could on his way to his first class. He absolutely had to share this with Nia. Hopefully she was already in class, and there hadn’t been some incident keeping her from her morning reading. It seemed like that kind of week.
Jake bounded into the classroom, glad to see Nia in her usual place.  He plopped down in his chair, facing backwards so that he could chatter at her before class started.
“Nia!!!”
“Morning Jake. Happy Friday.” Nia looked up from her book, casually putting her bookmark in to hold her place. 
“That’s your normal Friday Greeting. Today is not a normal Friday!”
“What?”
“There are new kids!”
“On a Friday?”
“Yep!”
“Their parents are the worst. Why would you start your kids on a Friday, at least wait until Monday.”
I think my dad takes the cake for the worst, but… sure, Nia.
“Okay, okay. I get your point, but like… they’re both seniors. Brothers, apparently. And smokin’ hot.”
“I’ll take your word for it?”
“No way. Between the two of us we have seven classes today. Surely we’ll catch sight of one of them, right?”
“Yeah. Hell of a story to tell ma later.”
“Miss Laney. Language.” Mr. Randall said, entering the room.
Jake rolled his eyes, grateful to be facing away from their teacher initially.
“English, Mr. Randall. Christian jargon, specifically.”
The teacher laughed. “Alright, alright. Good morning.”
At least he was dealing fine with Nia’s pedantic backtalk this morning. Maybe he was excited about new students to teach, as well.  Jake turned himself around in his chair, as the rest of their classmates started to file into the room. Jake was excited to meet the new kids, but he got the vibe from Nia that she could do without adding any new potential bullies to her watch list. He didn’t really blame her for it. She had the worst luck.
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After lunch, Jake walked into Chemistry, expecting to have another discussion with Mr. Cook about his homework.  What he wasn’t expecting was for his usually vacant table to be populated… by the two new kids.  Oh, sweet! He’d get to meet them and could tell Nia what to expect in case either of them were choir kids.  The blonde looked… choir-possible. The other… seemed like he’d rather be skipping.  Did he just wink at me?
Jake settled into his usual chair, and engaged immediately with the new kids.
“Hi, I’m Jake, and apparently we’re table buddies now.”
Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome - the one who’d winked - grinned. “Hi there, Jake. I’m Diaval. And this,” He gestured to the blonde who looked like someone had taken him off of one of those 90s trashy romance book covers, “is my brother Mark.”
“Pleasure to meet you. Brothers, both seniors…” Jake said, thinking. “Don’t let me sound too stupid here, but you don’t look like twins.”
Mark scoffed. “Please. We’re barely brothers. My father is—“
“Someone entirely different than mine.” Diaval finished, rolling his eyes.
Oh. Jake thought. They don’t get along at all. This is going to be interesting.
He slipped his phone out and sent a few quick texts to Nia, before turning his focus on Mr. Cook, lest he get his phone confiscated.
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Jake was looking forward to band.  His last period class, Band usually kept him sane and happy. He was surprised, after their conversations in Chemistry not to see Diaval here in band. He’d seemed like a musical sort. Maybe he was in choir with Nia.
Shaking his head to get the new kids out of it so that he could focus, Jake waved to his fellow percussionists before getting himself settled at the timpani.  He’d just picked up the mallets when the director beckoned him over. Setting the mallets down carefully, he practically flounced over to the director. The man never needed him for anything before, so this was a novel experience. He wasn’t even the percussion lead…
“I just got a call from the office, Jake. Your mother is here.”
Jake blinked. “Why is my mom here?”
“I certainly don’t know.” the director said, shrugging. “But apparently you’re going to be heading out straight from the office today, so grab your bag. I’ll see you Monday.”
Jake knew not to argue. If mom was here to pick him up, there was probably a good reason. Better her than dad, that was for sure.  He’d have to text Nia from the car, though. She’d worry, otherwise.
Of course, he didn’t have to do that, as he ran into Nia in the hallway.
“Oh hey! I have to go to the office—“
“—because my mom is here…”
“Weird.” They said in unison, and weird only began to cover the next few hours.
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Their moms had come together. And had taken them out to get fancy coffee. Which was like ten red flashing lights right there. Something was very off.
Of course something crazy was happening. Of course.
“So, you’re saying you signed me up for an exchange program?” Nia said, and the look she was giving her mother over the top of her coffee-adjacent drink was telling.
To be fair, Jake was giving his own mother the same look.
“Isn’t it just supposed to be like, to another country though?” he said, concerned.
“Well…” Nia’s mom started, and his mom interrupted her.
“It was my idea. I didn’t know if you two would get in, but I suggested to Lynn, I mean Nia’s mom, that we could sign you both up so you’d be together.”
“Well, that backfired.” Nia said, bitterly.
“They said you can still text though! And video call, and regular call!” Nia’s mom said, trying to sound excited for them.
“But…” Jake said, not excited about being separated from Nia, and especially displeased about leaving his mom alone with how his dad was being.
“And there’ll be a big dance at the end of the program.” Jake’s mom said, her smile equally fake.
“So you’re saying the two hot guys who just transferred in today are our replacements?” Jake shared a look with Nia. That would explain some things about the supposed ‘brothers’ they’d met.
“Well…”
“In Nia’s case, yeah, literally.” Her mom said. “They’re staying at our place since we have the space…”
“And you’re going to trust them to take care of the girls?” Nia said, cautiously.
“Well, no. I had to take a few months of 8-5s to cover Janice’s maternity leave, so it works out.”
“That is suspiciously convenient.” Jake said with narrowed eyes.
“Jake… There’s a reason we did this. I’m divorcing your father. But It’s going to be messy… and I need to know that you’re safe, okay?”
“So you’re sending me off to Literal Actual Heaven where Angels are from to keep me safe.” Jake was angry. Nia just looked like she was numb. “And you’re sending Nia off to Literal Actual Hell.”
“Technically it’s the Celestial Realm and the Devildom.” His mother said, quietly.
Nia still hadn’t done so much as blink in the last five minutes.
“Adania. Please. Just try it. It’s a year. It’s Room & Board covered, and we have been promised you will both be entirely safe.”
Jake reached out and took Nia’s hand in his, at which point she basically melted, falling over into his shoulder.
“Ugh. Fiiiine. Can we still have pizza and ice cream night?” Nia asked, sighing.  Jake could feel the subtle trembling.
“Yes. But we’re going out for pizza.” her mother said, grinning. “And Marnie’s coming along.”
“What.” Nia said, so blankly it wasn’t even a question.
“Yeah, we’re gonna do the whole arcade thing.”
“Mom, we can’t afford that.”
“With the stipend they’re giving me to house a literal angel and a literal demon? We’re good.”
“Mo-om!”
“Hush. You’re leaving tomorrow. Let me spoil my baby girl.”
Nia rolled her eyes and Jake just laughed. 
A year in Heaven, huh? Wonder if it was going to be anything like Seven Minutes in Heaven. Maybe he’d kiss an angel. Ha. Gay angels. Unlikely. This year was going to suck.
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p1x13-dust · 2 months
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Day 37 of trying to be consistently productive
A friend and I got to have a picnic today! It was very nice. I feel like I did both a lot and very little today, so I think it's time I finally write it out. Here's what I did:
Attended one lecture.
Had a meeting over a club document.
Sent an email after said meeting.
Went to a study group, where I finished reading for one of my classes.
Read a short chapter (4 pages) for my English class.
Had two club meetings.
Goals for tomorrow:
Finish editing and turn in my essays. (If I feel like it, since my classes were canceled and my deadlines were extended)
Study for developmental psychology.
Start working on assignments that are due next week.
Continue reading for my classes.
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moved-2-koiranliha · 2 years
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man yknow. i know everyone's heard this one, but really truly just writing a few words, like 3 or 4, in a wip doc is enough to feel satisfying when you've truly accepted the mindset that any amount of words at any amount of time is still progress.
part of me wants to blame the education system for this shitty "if i don't write 3 paragraphs a day, i'm a failure" mindset, but i know that's not all of it. there's a lot of writers, both professional and not, who i think inadvertently push this kind of thinking on their readers and fans. are they to blame? not really, if they're doing it unintentionally. but it makes me sad for them because like. they got that mindset from somewhere too.
i think my point is like. there are no deadlines when you're writing for fun. sometimes i talk about a fic i'm writing and i'm super excited about it and then it sits in my drafts for months or even years. i feel guilty about it sometimes, i really do, but i make myself remember that i'm not obligated to keep writing it if i've lost interest. i don't owe anyone fanfiction. i write because i want to, i write for myself.
like i have so many poems and drabbles i've never even thought about posting. maybe i'll post them soon, get them queued up after i post this. but the point is i don't have to. i don't owe anyone these poems.
don't force yourself to write for anyone. the only deadlines writers should set are for career writing and education-related writing, so basically if writing is your job or you have a writing-based assignment. there are no deadlines for fanfic. there are no deadlines for writing for fun. progress is progress no matter how small, and if you lose interest? stop! don't write that anymore! put it aside, don't delete it, but save it for if/when you regain interest. no one's forcing you.
also i couldn't put this anywhere but deletion is also progress. you didn't like that part or you thought of something better or it just doesn't fit in the story. you made the story better by choosing to delete that part. you're fitting it to your vision. you're making progress. the forest suffers without wildfires.
i also couldn't fit this anywhere, but you do not have to write something every day. if you're doing a challenge, great! i'm proud of you! but if it starts to get hard or frustrating, please please please stop, i promise no one will be mad. if you go a few days without writing anything at all, that's okay. if you go a few weeks without writing anything, that's okay. if you go a few months, that's okay. a few years, that's okay. burnout is fucking real, and people have certainly tried, but the feeling is truly indescribable. imagine being completely unable to bring yourself to do anything creative at all. imagine wanting so badly for your hands to move but they just won't. imagine staring at a blank document, which we've all done, for hours, which extend into days, weeks, months. you simply can't do anything. that's what burnout is like, at least in my experience. and you can prevent it by taking breaks and not forcing yourself to write constantly. you are not a machine. you are a human being with thoughts and feelings and creativity, but you are also a human being with limits. and it's preferable that you don't cross the limits of how much you can force yourself to write.
write for you. for no one else.
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tacticalvalor · 1 year
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«────── « HEADCANON » ──────»
Alexander “Sasha” Kozachenko gives chill history teacher vibes, in my opinion.
Been thinkin’ about him again lately, and I can totally see him being the teacher that students try to avoid because he looks like an asshole, but he’s actually really attentive to the needs of his kids.
Some misc. teacher headcanons for him:
If he’s a history teacher, he’s the type to go against the curriculum and (depending on the age group) go in depth about the actual history of things. Naturally, this results in a lot of parent complaints.
Related to the last point: Sacha likes to interject his own stories and experiences into lessons.
He rarely, if ever, gives pop quizzes. He doesn’t like testing all that much in general, but he has to administer them, so he’ll schedule a day dedicated to it, so the students don’t feel pressured.
He is stricter about deadlines, but he’s not the type to be like “Oh, your parent died? Too bad—”. He’ll do his best to either extend the deadline or give an alternative assignment.
Related to the last two points: He has a schedule and sticks to it. His students are all given a copy of this to keep, and it highlights the test days while giving a general range for when units should begin/close.
His students are his children. He’s got a surprising paternal instinct, and he does his best to make sure everyone is being treated fairly and accommodated for. This also results in a lot of parent complaints (because parents really are just mad when people treat children like human beings with autonomy).
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zaharya · 2 years
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Hey so you have ADHD and are in higher education, do you have any advice for an ADHD/autistic person going into college who struggles with motivation and studying? Also I figure it's worth a shot to ask but do you have any advice for handling autistic burnout caused overstimulation while not failing classes? Sorry if this is out of the blue but I'm really nervous and figured I'd ask
Phew, that's a rather big question, and I'm not sure it can be so easily answered 😅 These things depend heavily on your circumstances as well as individual factors, which obviously I know nothing about in your case. I also don't know that much about ASD, I'm afraid; certainly not enough to feel comfortable giving advice for it (sorry 😕).
I suppose I could give you the usual (and fundamentally true) speech about including buffer-times in your study schedules [ADHD time-tax; however long you estimate a task to take, multiply that by 3 or 4 (ideally 4 in the beginning), and that's how much time you actually plan for the task], setting partial deadlines with professors and supervisors, breaking down big assignments into small, manageable steps, make sure you get enough sleep, take breaks while studying etc. But I'm assuming you know all that.
Generally speaking, these struggles with motivation and studying with ADHD aren't usually very straightforward to combat. What works and what doesn't is highly individual; for example, in my case medication is an important factor, while that hardly matters for other people. I hate saying it but it's mostly something you have to figure out for yourself by trial and error. On top of that, most useful ADHD coping strategies tend to work for a while, then stop working, and at some point they suddenly work again. Don't dismay if a strategy that worked for you (idk, let's say Pomodoro timers) suddenly doesn't work anymore! Just switch to a different strategy for a while and try it again after a few weeks – at some point your brain will perceive it as new and shiny again, and it'll be helpful again. Personally, I just permanently cycle through strategies 😅
The few strategies that (more or less) continuously helped me throughout my uni career are almost exclusively things that involve other people somehow. For example body doubling to stay focused a little better, or having another person talk at when plan my assignments because talking it through helps me get my thoughts straight. So, I suppose my best advice is to build a solid support system; whether that consists of people you study with or other friends or family. Whoever you're comfortable with, actively seek support when you need it, even if that support is in passive form like just sitting with you while you work (aka body doubling). Also, if motivation is a problem, there's no shame in giving yourself external incentives! Reward yourself! The idea that motivation must be intrinsic is simply not viable for neurodivergents. We're just not wired that way, and that's fine; extrinsic motivation is just as well.
Otherwise, I'd recommend looking into what accommodations are available at your uni; more time on tests or extendable deadlines can make a big difference! Also, and I know that's really hard, if you notice that you're slipping in a course, contact your professor sooner rather than later. Perhaps I am overly optimistic, but in my experience, most profs are understanding enough and happy to help if you communicate openly with them (before the deadline is two days away). Of course, that won't always be possible, and sometimes you'll think "shit now it's already too late" – it's still better to message them immediately than after three days of berating yourself, which helps nobody.
... well that got longer than expected, I apologise 🙈 I wish I had a better answer for you, but I'm afraid my best advice is really just to find other neurodivergent people to connect with, for mutual support. Whether IRL or online, a solid support community can make a huge difference. (I took the liberty of peeking at your blog and saw that you're into Merlin; we have a Merlin Discord server that is overwhelmingly neurodivergent, if you'd like to join us? It's called The Merlin Library / @themerlinlibrary – we have a bunch of people who sometimes body double together on VC or help each other plan assignments etc. No pressure of course, just an offer!)
In any case, I wish you the best! 💜
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fr3nchtoastcrunch · 1 year
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Dyspraxia in school (cont.)
I still remember the last few weeks of my junior year of high school. One of my teachers had a final project where you make a "bedroom" inside of a shoe box.
Being dyspraxic, I knew this was gonna be hell. Especially when she said "you may not take the box home." That ticked everyone off, because it made this project much harder than it needed to be.
I've never considered myself a creative person, so most of my time was spent making a janky-ass carpet that had several different designs due to limited fabrics, and making a very crappy bed out of popsicle sticks.
Another thing that I knew would destroy me is that it had to be "in proportion." Buddy, I can barely even make the objects I'm trying to make. I don't have time to stress about if it's too big or small.
We were given two weeks, and by the end of the first week I had only a (terrible) bed and the bare walls and floor. The teacher finally showed mercy and said she would extend the final deadline to the following Monday and that you could take it home over the weekend.
When that happened, I devised myself a plan. My mom is much better at crafts (and art projects in general) than I could ever hope to be, and most importantly, she's not dyspraxic, so I thought that I could enlist her help.
I am absolutely not ashamed to admit that my mom did the rest of it by herself. She was pretty furious that I had to do this anyway. My parents have made it pretty damn clear that I'm horrible with art projects and that I need special help, but I didn't get a para for this assignment at all.
So, after shamelessly mooching off my mom over the weekend, I escaped with an A and got the hell out of that class. I later found out that teacher was retiring that year, and that was the highlight of my year. She was such an awful teacher with a fake personality like no other. She could either be downright helpful or literally your worst nightmare with no in between, and she was in nightmare mode for the entirety of those last two weeks.
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