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sesamestreep · 1 year

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50 jyn/cassian? 👀

50. the hands of fate (from this prompt list)

After such a crushing defeat, Cassian decides that what he and his teammates really need is another round, and since everyone else is still arguing over the finer points of the last question, he decides it’s up to him to make that happen. Luckily, the bar is not particularly crowded at that moment, so he’s able to get the attention of the bartender right away.

“What can I get for you?” she asks, leaning slightly across the bar to hear him better.

It takes him a minute to remember why he’s there, because he’s been doing trivia at this bar for the last few months and he’s never seen this bartender before, which is only notable because she’s exceptionally pretty. She’s got bright green eyes, and hair that manages to be messy in a way he suspects might actually be fashionable, and she’s wearing a black tank top that shows off some very cool-looking tattoos on her biceps. The usual Thursday night bartender barely even looks at him when she takes his order, let alone going so far as to actually speak to him in full sentences.

“Did you want to order something?” she asks, warily, and her expression shutters in the way of an experienced customer service professional who’s used to dealing with drunk people and skeevy men with alarming frequency.

Cassian shakes his head, as if to clear his mind so he doesn’t (rightfully) earn this bartender’s wrath by staring for another minute. “Yeah, sorry,” he says, adopting what he hopes is a genial expression. “We just got our asses handed to us at trivia, so my cognitive function hasn’t fully returned yet.”

The bartender offers him a half-smile at that and nods. “Take your time.”

“Uh, I think I’m just going to get another round for everyone,” Cassian says, and then rattles off his team’s drink orders. The bartender nods and, even though she doesn’t stop to write it down, he has a feeling she’s got it memorized.

She starts making a drink in front of him, and only looks up a moment later when she realizes he’s still there. “I can bring them over when I’m done,” she says, pointing her chin in the direction of his table while her hands are occupied pouring vodka into a cocktail shaker.

“Oh, right,” Cassian says, stupidly. “That would be great. I, uh, already mentioned my brain’s not working, right?”

She laughs a little, which feels sort of like a victory, and shakes her head. “Must have been a tough loss.”

“We came this close to winning for once!” he can’t help griping. “But no one on my team knew the names of the three Fates in Greek mythology.”

The bartender tosses the shaker from side to side in a practiced motion, and gives him a barely interested look. “You mean, the Moirai?” she asks.

Cassian barely stops himself from gaping at her. “I, uh, think they wanted the individual names, actually.”

“Oh, so like Clotho, Lachesis, and Atropos, then?”

“Jesus, do you write the questions?”

She smiles and pulls a glass out from under the counter. “No,” she says, as she deftly pours the contents of the shaker into the glass. “I just went through a very intense Greek mythology phase when I was a kid.”

“Thank god. I was beginning to think I was just stupid!”

“The two ideas are not mutually exclusive,” she replies, breezily, as she tosses an olive into the drink. “I’ll bring your drinks right over, unless you want me to keep talking to you about mythology.”

There actually isn’t anything Cassian wants more at the moment, but he’s already lost so much dignity at trivia that he can’t afford to lose anymore getting shut down by this beautiful bartender, so he nods and thanks her before he heads back to his table. Bodhi has finally stopped reading Wikipedia on his phone (a time-honored post-loss tradition for them) and is sitting with his head resting on Taidu’s shoulder. Melshi, on the other side of the table, is slumped in his chair, staring into the dregs of his beer.

“Another round incoming,” he says, clapping Melshi on the shoulder.

“Thank god,” Melshi replies, sitting up.

“We are bad at trivia,” Bodhi proclaims, which is also a time-honored tradition.

“We did better this time,” Taidu counters.

“Yeah, but we still lost.”

“Progress over perfection.”

“Stop being reasonable,” Melshi groans. “The wound is still too fresh.”

“You know what’s great for treating wounds?” a voice over Cassian’s shoulder asks. “Alcohol!”

The beautiful bartender appears then, with their drinks on a small tray and starts depositing them on the table, where Taidu immediately helps divvy them up to their respective recipients.

“What are you doing here?” Bodhi asks her, which seems like an odd response. Cassian looks between the two of them, puzzled.

“I told you I was working tonight,” the bartender replies, resting the now-empty tray on her hip.

“No, you didn’t.”

“I sent you a text!”

“Oh,” Taidu says. “That was your first mistake. He never reads his texts.”

“Shut up,” Bodhi says, thumping him lightly on the shoulder. “I read texts! I even reply to them! I am a functional person!”

Taidu and the bartender scoff at the same time, and Cassian is definitely missing something.

“So, why are you working tonight?” Bodhi asks, before Cassian can figure out a way to ask what’s going on without seeming rude. ��I mean, I read your text, for sure, but like…remind me?”

“Kennel no-call, no-showed and Baze asked me to fill in.”

“What?! Tell me everything!”

“I just did. She didn’t call out or give notice so I have no idea what happened.”

“Okay, that’s more boring than I expected,” Bodhi says, sounding disappointed. “I always thought she’d get fired for coming after you with a knife or something.”

“You and me both, buddy,” the bartender says.

“Kennel is the usual Thursday night bartender?” Taidu asks, speaking for all of them.

“Yeah,” Bodhi says. “She’s fucking nuts.”

“Good riddance,” she agrees. Then, she turns her attention to Cassian, pointing at him with her elbow. “I put the drinks on your tab, by the way.”

Cassian blinks at her in surprise. “Oh, right. Yeah. Good. Did I—sorry, I don’t think I gave you my name, so…”

“No, but I know Bodhi, which means I also know Taidu, naturally, and I’ve met Melshi before, so I guessed you were probably Bodhi’s other co-worker, Cassian, who he does trivia with but whom I’ve never met and there was a card with that name behind the bar, so…”

“Okay, seriously, are you some kind of savant or something? Between this and knowing all of the trivia answers…”

She smiles. “I have the distinct advantage of being more sober than almost everyone in the room, which gives the impression of genius where there is none.”

“Bodhi, you didn’t tell Cassian your roommate worked here, did you?” Taidu asks suddenly, sounding amused.

Bodhi smacks himself on the forehead. “She doesn’t normally work Thursdays,” he admits, miserably, before looking up. “Cassian, this is my roommate, Jyn. She works here.”

“Jyn. Right,” Cassian says, feeling some puzzle pieces slot into place. “I’ve heard a lot about you. It’s nice to finally meet.”

“Same,” she says, extending a hand for him to shake and giving him a mysterious smile. “Though Bodhi did say you were the ringer on the trivia team, and you didn’t even know the names of the Moirai.”

“Cassian is the ringer,” Melshi says, “which just goes to show how terrible the rest of us are.”

“I think Kay was technically our ringer,” Cassian replies.

“Until he got perma-banned,” Bodhi adds, dejectedly.

“Kay?” Jyn asks.

“My roommate,” Cassian specifies. “It was for the best, he argued with the host too much.”

“Oh, that guy,” she says, nodding. “Baze and Chirrut have his picture hung up in the office. We throw darts at it, uh, lovingly.”

Cassian waves away the sheepish look she gives him. “I live with him. I understand the impulse. Anyway, that’s how Taidu ended up joining us.”

“Lucky them,” he says, raising his glass in a mock toast. “I know nothing, it turns out.”

“I mean, if they ever need someone to answer a question about the intricacies of Formula 1, you’re their man,” Jyn says.

“Taidu watches a lot of F1 at our apartment,” Bodhi explains. “He’s trying to get Jyn into it.”

“It’s not nearly violent enough for my tastes,” she says, mildly. “Anything else before I go back to the bar? Need me to name all the Argonauts, perhaps?”

“Oh, you’re going to be insufferable about this, aren’t you?” Bodhi asks, covering his face with his hands.

“It’s going to be like the eagle, pecking out Prometheus’s liver every day, only it’ll be me taunting you with Greek mythology facts.”

“Mythological facts, huh?” Melshi asks.

“I’m sorry,” Jyn says, leaning in close. “I have trouble hearing people who’ve never won bar trivia in their lives.”

“You’re right,” he replies, holding his hands up in defeat. “You got us there.”

“Next week,” Cassian says emphatically, “is going to be our week. I’m calling it.”

The pitying look Jyn gives him before she leaves their table does nothing to bolster his confidence—nor does it quell the spark of attraction he felt when he first saw her. He was really hoping the revelation that she’s Bodhi’s roommate might help with that, but no such luck. If anything, he likes her more now; Bodhi has always talked about Jyn in glowing terms and Cassian can see now that she lives up to her reputation.

He realizes only a little belatedly that he’s been watching her walk away, which feels like a bridge too far, and catches Melshi giving him an unimpressed look. He schools his expression into something overly innocent and Melshi snorts before returning his attention to his beer.

They hang around, replaying their demoralizing defeat for the tenth time and vowing (as always) to do better next time, until their drinks are finished and then everyone gets ready to leave. Melshi heads off for the train with a sardonic salute and Taidu and Bodhi head off in search of a cab, while Cassian lives close enough that he’s just going to walk home. He is already halfway out the door when he realizes he left his credit card at the bar.

He does a heel turn and heads back in, waiting at the least crowded corner of the bar until he can get someone’s attention. He’s seen a few people milling around behind the bar all night, but as far as he can tell Jyn is the only bartender on and she’s the only one there now, which means she’s busy, so he settles in to wait once he catches her eye and she gives him a nod to say she’ll be right with him.

“Sorry about that,” she says, when she finally makes her way over to him around five minutes later. “We’re short-staffed, as you know. I didn’t know Thursdays were this busy!”

“No problem,” Cassian says, signing his receipt and handing it back to her while he pockets his card. “I’ve got nowhere to be.”

Jyn drums her fingers on the bar as she considers him. “You should know,” she says, after obvious deliberation, “I only date people who win at bar trivia.”

He could not possibly have heard that correctly. “I…what?”

“I think it’s only fair that you know this about me, since you’re making your interest known.”

“I wasn’t—that’s not what—I wasn’t saying I’ve got nowhere to be like that, just that I wasn’t in a hurry! I was not trying to—”

“Sure.”

“I’m serious. It was just an expression!”

She treats him to the most exaggerated, patronizing nod of all time. “Right. And you were absolutely not checking me out earlier.”

“I was not doing that,” Cassian says, and it’s frankly embarrassing how transparent of a lie it is.

“I don’t blame you,” Jyn says, shrugging her shoulders. “I’m very cute.”

“Huh. Now that you mention it…”

She smiles, one of those mysterious, knowing ones he finds so intriguing. “Bodhi did always say he thought you and I would get along if we ever met.”

“Too bad you have such high standards,” he replies, easily. “I could think of a few ways we could get along better.”

“Well, there’s always next week,” she offers.

“You mean, next week when we’re going to win trivia and you’re going to give me your number? That next week?”

Jyn shakes her head, but he can see she’s fighting a smile. “I admire your optimism.”

“Get ready to admire my intellect too,” he says, “when I win bar trivia.”

“Whatever you say, Cassian.”

“So,” Cassian says, as he leans up against the bar a week later after trivia has wrapped up, “are you absolutely sure you couldn’t be talked into dating someone much much dumber than you?”

Jyn’s answering laugh, surprised and delighted and unrestrained, makes him feel so much prouder of himself than winning trivia ever could. Not that he knows for sure, of course, never having done the latter, but if he had to guess.

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nordic-language-love · 8 months

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love waking up from a dream having been gifted with THE MOST PROFOUND KNOWLEDGE THAT I MUST WRITE DOWN AND SHARE WITH THE WORLD IMMEDIATELY only to properly wake up like 2 minutes later and being like "this is nonsense".

#i dreamt my friend from okinawa was teaching in the classroom underneath mine (apparently there was a classroom underneath mine)#and the kids from his classroom kept escaping and coming into mine via stairs i didn't even know existed #and he described them as 'indigo children' looking for 'the road of dreams'#and then he came to me afterwards - having turned into patrick stewart but retaining his hair - and he said:#'do you know the way to the road of dreams? first you must go up'#and i had a little tricycle/truck hybrid thing with an inflatable hamburger some wooden blocks and a beach ball stuck to the back #and i was like. this is it. this is the key. if i have these things then i can find the road of dreams #and i woke up like okay i must write this down i must remember this #and it took me between getting off my bed and turning on the air con to go 'wait no this is dream nonsense'#i did find out indigo children were actually like a pseudoscience thing in the 1970s/80s though so there you go #and the characteristics that describe indigo children are pretty much me haha #and then i kept reading and it was like 'a lot of so-described indigo children actually have adhd'#but parents prefered to believe their kid was gifted and destined to lead a religious revolution than to accept they had 'a disorder'#so that makes sense lmao

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ifwebefriends · 3 months

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Being chronically ill sucks for many reasons but one reason is that all the doctors are so focused on keeping your body from attacking itself/collapsing in on itself that it’s like “uhh I think my brain/emotions are kinda being neglected here :/“

#my oncologist: hey I’m giving you a referral to get some bloodwork done it took like 5 minutes #me: cool! can I also get a referral to get screened for ADHD like you said I should?#my oncologist: *radio silence*#I think the undiagnosed ADHD is screaming at me rn #also it’s weird because I technically don’t have cancer anymore but I’m on a shit ton of meds to keep it from coming back #and it like majorly affects my life #so it’s chronic symptoms to prevent a recurrence of the chronic illness #the self gatekeeping inside of me is astronomical #chronic illness #chronically ill #cancer #cancer survivor #breast cancer #breast cancer survivor #adhd #undiagnosed adhd

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dr3amofagame · 6 months

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If you're not already burnt out from analysis, do you have any thoughts on the Mexican L'Manberg debates?

hmm i have to rewatch the vod tbh it's been a bit--not many thoughts that haven't been regurgitated a million times though.

something that has always interested me is the whole dethronement debacle/mexican lmanburg debates in relation to how leadership has worked for the greater smp faction, largely because the dsmp was never meant to be a faction and the creation of the official kingship for c!Eret was very much in response to L'manburg at the time. and there is honestly quite a bit of conflict that rises from the fact that the greater dsmp faction was never really meant to have a king in the first place, and the confusion that would arise about what the role of the king even was supposed to be (especially as the idea of c!Dream having any kind of legitimacy was worn away over time.) it'd be an interesting meta to write if i could think of a way to word it all--but it's always fascinated me, in this conflict, how the progression of "he's in charge of the server, i'm in charge of the land" to c!Dream's no-mans-land position of leadership in the dsmp faction progresses as the server goes on is utilized in c!Quackity's favor to effectively block c!Dream out of the conversation (even with so much of this being quite directly an attack on dream in the first place.) something something being king of the dsmp comes with a level of restriction, yes, but also a level of protection--and while c!dream, viewed nebulously as a leader, was also subject to a certain level of restriction to a certain extent (see: his asserting that he couldn't publicly stand against schlatt because of the peace treaty between their two nations), the fact that his leadership was more de facto early on (because the dsmp faction wasn't yet a faction) as compared to the kingship, this conflict is a clear demonstration of how he doesn't have the same political sway as the dsmp king to be able to ask for quite the same level of protection (and hence, how his request for an apology in the peace treaty goes unheeded and how he ends up as a trading piece in the negotiations.)

otherwise, mexican lmanburg definitely has a lot in terms of echoes of c!wilbur and the lmanburg narrative, particularly regarding c!dream's view on factions, which is interesting--c!dream has never actually been "anti-people doing what they want in a group," but of course that's how things ended up being popularly seen because. gestures. and of course, there's the whole idea that every single conflict on the server ever was initiated by c!dream which...again, lmao. along those lines:

[thinks abt lmanburg. a lot] yeah.

and lastly...this isn't really just a mexican lmanburg thing, but c!dream around this time was kinda known to reacting to threats by basically doing the thing where he would make like, a laundry list of threats, right, just really over-the-top stuff that would freak people out like hell, right? we see it in exile negotiations, we see it in mexican lmanburg debates--

and you know, they've regularly been pointed to as you know, look how crazy evil he is an how he overreacts to shit and etc, whatever. and it does interest me how these speeches are quite similar in pattern to moments post-prison as well:

specifically being quite consistent with moments where he's feeling, well, a bit unstable. it's an intimidation tactic that c!dream has long used, of course (white flags speech is a well-known example) but it's interesting to see it often in context of c!dream being to some degree, scared (or paranoid)--even in white flags, that was obviously a conflict that c!dream treated seriously that was quite a bit different in character from conflicts that preceded it on the server and therefore demanded a greater level of wariness and caution from him. always interesting, to me, the ways that certain actions for c!Dream are so deeply related to fear, feeling attacked (compared to, say, c!sam who would do the whole I Am The Warden power play against anyone that he felt challenged his authority)

very very scattered thoughts, but um--yeah! i really should rewatch this stream especially bc the transcript is incomplete, but alas

#i also have like very specific demons about a very specific moment in this stream but shh #we don't need to get into that rn XD #my asks !!#my adhd was not letting me think of the words to reply to this for like a few hours so sorry this took so long LMAO #transcripts from dsmptranscripts on twt

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8rujaa · 11 days

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my therapist really saved me….

#tw abuse // tw sa #i can’t sleep bc i keep thinking about this.#like i probably would’ve not been here if it weren’t for her #i started seeing her january of 2023… my life has changed entirely since then and she was definitely the one who got the ball rolling #literally so much has changed since then and it’s all because of her #i was so dissociated during our first few sessions #thanks to her i was able to get diagnosed and medicated for adhd. i was able to realize i was in an abusive situation and plan a way out #i was able to focus on myself and my healing and she’s helped me reframe so much of my negative thinking #i was able to process a lot of emotions and become a better version of myself with each session #she’s truly incredible.#i remember the first comment she made about the relationship had been ‘’so it’s like there’s an imbalance of control in the relationship’’#i had put my partners on such a high pedestal that i had no idea they could be doing anything wrong #and i asked her what she meant and she said ‘from what you’ve been describing it’s sounds like a strict parents and child type of dynamic’#she told me they didn’t need to understand why i wanted to leave and they didn’t need to make that decision. if that’s what was going to be #best for me the only thing i could do is let them know my reasoning and simply leave. i didn’t need their permission.’’#i remember being so confused at that realization bc like… i had been putting their emotions over mine the whole time i had forgotten simply #doing what’s best for me was an option… l #ever since then i’ve been putting myself first and it’s been a steady uphill from rock bottom… i’ve made an incredible amount of progress #when i first started with her getting out of bed and walking to the kitchen was incredibly difficult and took all my strength.#yesterday i conquered a mountain!!!!!!! i hiked all the way to the top!!!!! :D #me a year ago thought it was going to take me years and years to recover. as soon as i left i made leaps of progress #im incredibly proud of myself and grateful for her. and my reiki lady she’s also been a great great help.#the silver lining is i realized who really matters. and the relationships i cared about deepened.#my sweet virgo friend was the one who was always like ‘THATS A GROWN ASS MAN WHO CANT UNDERSTAND BASIC CONSENT???’#LMFAO i would be like ‘but he has trauma and bla bla bla’ she looked me dead in the eyes and said #’jess you said with your last boyfriend that you would never make excuses for a man who was hurting you again. stop defending him.’#she’s really a gem and i treasure her with my life. i hope she knows i love her. she’s family at this point #she’s also literally saved my life before (like deadass called 911 for help)#im glad i had the support system i had. that was a rough situation with so many layers and im glad i got through it #my 22nd year of life was by far the worst of my life and i don’t ever want to put myself in that situation again. im glad i learned.

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quiet-nocturne · 1 month

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wip wednesday! I have 2 snippets for ya'll because I forgot to post last week again. 💀 I don't even know what day of the week it is half the time, I swear. 🥲

So this is another snippet from my royai big bang fic, from chapter 2, in which Roy is dumb and Riza tells him off (can't reveal too much, because it'll spoil you, but yeah).

Second snippet is below the cut because it's a little spicy. 🔥

Again, this is from my untitled cause I'm lovesick sequel in roy's pov, which I recently picked up again:

#i'm not dead i swear #i'm still here shipping royai #but i was burnt out from february #and march has been depressing me #and work and a cold has been kicking my butt #so i took a little break for a bit #wip wednesday #fic wip #my wips #my stuff #royal #royai fanfiction #royai big bang #quiet-nocturne #quiet_nocturne #we can thank the unmedicated adhd for me never knowing what day of the week it is

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musashi · 7 months

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im fr going to burst into tears because i love my girlfriend so much. i didn't realize it was possible for a person to be so nice to me. none of my partners ever treated me this way before.

#wordy wendy #i self medicate with caffeine because i cant afford an adhd diagnosis #and so the only thing i buy from amazon dot com is a sub for 2 carts of rockstar to be sent to my house biweekly #my whole routine hinges on this rockstar shipment #its what makes my focus work #but amazon is a terrible website and will often just. say packages are delivered when theyre days away #so i will run out and not replenish cause i think i have rockstar at my house #and it happens so often i've just accepted it #but bailey! bailey!#bailey said no! i will buy you some! i will have it delivered to your house!#and she did! and that wasnt enough she got me sugar free pudding and hersheys #and she found SUGAR FREE SWEETBREAD #A COCONUT LOAF #I HAVENT HAD ANYTHING LIKE THAT IN OVER 5 YEARS I HAD NO IDEA IT EXISTED #BUT I TOOK ONE BITE AND I ALMOST STARTED CRYING #and the whole time i was just thinking about that fic i wrote at the beginning of the year #and franziska having her horrible fucking birthday. and how all it took was a girl bringing her sweetbreads to see her bursting into tears #and i felt serenity

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sillycathorrors · 3 months

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who let me get my grubby little paws on one piece that shit is autism fuel

#i havent watched anything else since i started watching it #some stuff here and there #and i watch other stuff w/ my parents and friends #but apart from that #nada #i took a little break for a while but once i stopped being weird about it. oh lordy.#one piece #op #opla #op anime #one piece anime #one piece live action #actually autistic #actually adhd #actually autism #sorrens rambles

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voldheart · 17 days

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How comes Ghost gains a likeness towards Godseeker? (I wanna know mooore about the AU sorrynotsorry)

In Game Godseeker at first was very arrogant towards them and just started to show interest in Ghost, when they reached higher Pantheons. She doesn't strike me as the Kind of Person that would be interested in Rebuilding Hallownest because the Bugs there are no Gods. But feel free to change my mind!

Yeah, theyre not gods to a "Higher being" degree, but she considers them "holy" in some way....? you can actually see statues of vengeflies and husks in the hall of gods Which is kind of funny knowing how lowly she thinks of the knight at first lol

my interpretation is that the "holiness" these bugs possess comes from being under the influence of a higher being, be it Radiance or pk in Hallownest's case (mantis lords being the exception for being cool as fuck), which would explain why she doesn't want to have anything to do with the Knight, as it probably has its own thing going on that she did not understand at the time.

In this case she probably wouldn't care much for the bugs at Dirtmouth since most are new to the kingdom. But now that tk ascended into "godhood", maybe she wouldn't mind them much for being it's friends…? idk

As to why Ghost ends up liking Godseeker, i think that her call for powerful beings might have unintentionally pulled it into godhome, getting it to complete pantheons and, subconsciously, getting interested in her. even through all the insults and everything. i mean who doesnt like a big mean woman am i right haha *SWEATING*

THOUGH, as to why i believe it feels affection towards her i'll be talking about that below the cut (post got a bit too long sorryy)

ok just to be clear, the knight barely gets any sort of indication of personality in game, this is all just me overanalyzing Every single little crumb of possible person(bug?)hood I could find. which is kind of nothing honestly since all of this could be intentional or not, but i'm feasting on that shit like crazy

1: One thing (and its kind of the main thing that funnily made me descend into this rabbit hole) is that canonically, you can only gift her a delicate flower AFTER completing p2, which by this point it very much knows what she is like. Now i am aware that this could mean literally anything, but i highly doubt it would gift her a flower out of hate or indiference. That shit is hard as hell to deliver.

2: So a while ago i made this gifset about its walking animations. Something that, as I've noted in the post, it normally does when confronted with something important to it... For some reason TC felt compelled to program that for whenever it encountered Godseeker in between pantheons, despite the slight inconvenience it might cause for gameplay, so it was probably not added for that. at the very least i assume that theres a sort of respect it has for her

3: this post team cherry made promoting Godmaster which i find very funny

4: ok i know this sounds like reaching too hard but im just so obsessed with how despite falling down so violently, it still holds her so very gently here . it's almost as if it puts in the effort to not hurt her in a way. i mean shes standing there on her goddamn bug tippy toes and she barely even budges ? like 🏳️‍🌈?

5: shes hot asfuckkkkkk i rest my case

#.... with all that said im gonna be 100% real rn im just really gay for her #and tk is the perfect self insert as i experience heavy gender envy from it #like literal unrealistic transition goals i mean it. bug sized and everything #kind of embarrassing to admit but it's the honest truth #symvoidsis #sorry i took a bit to reply my adhd ass kept getting distracted😭

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