#and mostly used in an academic context

[theriverbeyond]

how do we know in the books that john is indigenous? can you say more about how his indigeneity is important to his story?

hello! so there is a word of god post on race (doesn't mention John but mentions that Gideon is "mixed Maori"), BUT I frankly don't think word of god statements are worth any weight without actual in-text support (see: the "dumbledore is gay" situation). SO!

Specific evidence that John Gaius is Maori, as revealed in Nona the Ninth:

When he is listing his education, John mentions having gone to Dilworth School (John 20:8). Dilworth is an all boys boarding school in Auckland and accepts students based on financial need instead of academic or sporting achievements. Demographics appear to be about 70% low income Maori boys, indicating that it is highly likely that John is Maori

John reports that P- said he looked like a "Maori-TV pink panther" (John 15:23) when his eyes turned gold. Maori TV is a TV station that is focused primarily on Maori culture & language revitalization, with presumably all or mostly Maori hosts, and tbh I don't see why P- would say this unless John was himself Maori

John uses a te reo Māori phrase ("kia kaha, kia māia") (John 5:20) when he is saying goodbye to the corpses in the cryo lab before the power is shut off. Though it is possible he said this as a non-Maori kiwi, but in combination with the previous two points of evidence I think this all very strongly points to him being Maori

He also renames his daughter Kiriona Gaia, "Kiriona" being just literally the name "Gideon" in te reo Māori

TLT is not a series that hands you anything on a silver platter but to ME this is all pretty solid proof

Why is this relevant to The Locked Tomb?

In Nona the Ninth, we learn that before he completed apotheosis and ate the solar system, John was basically trying to save the earth from capitalism-caused climate change. Climate justice and the rights of indigenous people over their own land are deeply tied together, in the same way that climate catastrophe and capitalism/ imperialism/ colonialism are linked. disclaimer that this is NOT my area of study and others have definitely said it better; this is just the basic gist as I understand it, but on quick search I found some sources here and here if you want to do some reading.

TLT is not a series that hands you anything on a silver platter, but i don't think it is a stretch to see John as an indigenous man trying to save the earth and getting ignored and shut down at every turn by primarily western colonial powers (PanEuro, the USA) who declare him a terrorist and then as a reader thematically connecting that to the experience of indigenous climate activists IRL

there are absolutely TLT meta posts that have discussed this before me; tumblr search is nonfunctional and I have been looking for an hour and a half and cannot find anything specific even though i KNOW i reblogged multiple posts about this in the first few weeks following NTN's release. sad & I am sorry

I think that by the time the books take place, John is 10k years removed from the cultural context he grew up in, with the Nine Houses having become a genocidal colonial power in their own right (with more parallels to be made between John's forever war for the resources of literal life energy and like, oil wars), but I also think that John Gaius is a fictional character who can represent and symbolize multiple different things in service of telling a story. (not to mention the potential thematic parallels being made to how oppressed people sometimes are pressed into replicating the power dynamics of their oppressors and continuing the cycle--now that is a tumblr post i KNOW i read last year and definitely cannot find right now, once again sad & I am sorry)

How Radical Was John Gaius, Really is a forum thread that was locked by the moderators after 234534645674564 pages of heated debate

#john gaius #nona the ninth #the locked tomb #tlt meta #i need to fix my tagging system fr #john meta #tlt thoughts #trb.txt #if anyone wants to add anything or correct anything PLS do so!!! i did my best hope this helps anon. this took me 2 hours

[dresshistorynerd]

I've seen a post you've reblogged and added to, among many things about women showing nipples. Can you recommend any ref material (articles, videos, etc.) are share your knowledge about this? Cause I'm curious about that, as nowadays going out in a shirt without a bra makes you indecent, while in like 90s it was okayish? I wonder how it was in previous centuries.

There is a really cool academic paper about bare breast dresses in 17th century England specifically. I think anyone can read it by creating a free account.

Abby Cox also has a good video about the cleavage during the past 500 years in which she goes through also the nip slip phenomena.

I don't have other sources that specifically focus on this subject, though many sources about specific decades touch on it, but I do have my primary source image collection, so I can sum up the history of the bare nipple.

So my findings from primary source images (I could be wrong and maybe I just haven't found earlier examples) is that the Venetians were the first ones to show the nipple for courtly fashion. At the same time in other places in Europe they sported the early Elizabethan no-boob style that completely covered and flattened the chest. In the other corners of Italy the necklines were also low but less extreme. Venetian kirtle necklines dropped extremely low as early as 1560s and they combined extremely sheer, basically see-through partlets with their kirtle. First example below is a 1565-70 portrait of a Venetian lady with the nipples just barely covered waiting slip into view with a movement of arm. There was an even more extreme version of this with the kirtle being literally underboob style, still with a sheer doublet. Though I believe this was not quite for the respectable ladies, since I have only seen it depicted on high class courtesans. They were not exactly respectable ladies, but they did have quite good social position. The second example is a 1570s depiction of a courtesan, which is revealed by the horned hairstyle. By the end of the century this underbust style with only see through fabric covering breasts, had become respectable. In the last example it's shown on the wife of the Venetian doge in 1597.

Around the same time, at the very end of 1500s, the extremely low cut bodice fashion enters rest of Europe. The low cut style was present in the bodices of all classes, but the nipple was really only an aristocrat thing. The lower classes would cover their breasts with a partlet, that was not sheer. Bare breast was ironically from our perspective a show of innocence, youthful beauty and virtue, and to pull off the style with respect, you also had to embody those ideals. Lower class women were considered inherently vulgar and lacking virtue, so a nipple in their case was seen as indecent. Bare boobs were also a sort of status symbol, since the upper class would hire wet nurses to breastfeed their children so they could show of their youthful boobs.

Covering partlets and bodices were still also used in the first decade of 1600s by nobles and the nip slip was mostly reserved for the courtly events. The first image below is an early example of English extremely low neckline that certainly couldn't contain boobs even with a bit of movement from 1597. The 1610s started around 5 decades of fashion that showed the whole boob. The first three were the most extreme. Here's some highlights: The second image is from 1619.

Here the first, very much showing nipples, from c. 1630. The second from 1632.

The neckline would slowly and slightly rise during the next decades, but nip slips were still expected. Here's an example from 1649 and then from 1650-55. In 1660s the neckline would get still slightly higher and by 1870s it was in a not very slippable hight. The necklines would stay low for the next century, though mostly not in boob showing territory, but we'll get there. But I will say that covering the neckline in casual context was expected. Boobs were mostly for fancy occasions. It was considered vain to show off your boobs when the occasion didn't call for it and covering up during the day was necessary for a respectable lady. You wouldn't want to have tan in your milk-white skin like a poor, and also they didn't have sun screen so burning was a reasonable concern.

1720s to 1740s saw necklines that went to the nip slip territory, though they didn't go quite as low as 100 years earlier. The nipple was present in the French courtly fashion especially and rouging your nipples to enhance them was popular. Émilie Du Châtelet (1706-1749), who was an accomplished physicist and made contributions to Newtonian mechanics, was known in the French court to show off her boobies. An icon. Here she is in 1748. Here's another example from this era from 1728.

The Rococo neckline never got high, but in the middle of the century it was less low till 1770s when it plunged into new lows. In 1770s the fashion reached a saturation point, when everything was the most. This included boobs. The most boob visible. There was a change in the attitudes though. The visible boob was not a scandal, but it was risque, instead of sing of innocent and did cause offense in certain circles. I think it's because of the French revolution values gaining momentum. I talked about this in length in another post, mostly in context of masculinity, but till that point femininity and masculinity had been mostly reserved for the aristocracy. Gender performance was mostly performance of wealth. The revolutionaries constructed new masculinity and femininity, which laid the groundwork for the modern gender, in opposition to the aristocracy and their decadence. The new femininity was decent, moral and motherly, an early version of the Victorian angel of the house. The boob was present in the revolutionary imagery, but in an abstract presentation. I can't say for sure, but I think bare breasts became indecent because it was specifically fashion of the indecent French aristocracy.

Here's example somewhere from the decade and another from 1778. The neckline stayed quite low for the 1780s, but rose to cover the boobs for the 1790s.

The nipple didn't stay hidden for long but made a quick comeback in the Regency evening fashion. It was somewhat scandalous by this point, and the nipple and sheer fabrics of the Regency fashion gained much scorn and satire. The styles that were in the high danger nip slip territory and those that allowed the nipple to show through fabric, were still quite popular. The sleeves had been mid length for two centuries, but in 1790s they had made a split between evening and day wear. The evening sleeves were tiny, just covering the shoulder. Showing that would have been a little too much. Like a bare boob? A risque choice but fine. A shoulder? Straight to the horny jail. (I'm joking they did have sheer sleeves and sometimes portraits with exposed shoulder.) But long sleeves became the standard part of the day wear. Getting sun was still not acceptable for the same reasonable and unreasonable reasons. Day dresses did also usually have higher necklines or were at least worn with a chemisette to cover the neckline. Fine Indian muslin was a huge trend. It was extremely sheer and used in multiple layers to build up some cover. There were claims that a gust of wind would render the ladies practically naked, though because they were wearing their underclothing including a shift, which certainly wasn't made from the very expensive muslin, I'm guessing this was an exaggeration. Especially though in the first decade, short underboob stays were fairly popular, so combined with a muslin, nipples were seen. Here's an early 1798 example of exactly that. The short stays did disappear eventually, but in 1810s the extremely small bodices did provide nip slip opportunities, as seen in this 1811 fashion plate.

Victorian moralizing did fully kill the nip slip, though at least they were gender neutral about it. The male nipple was just as offensive to them. In 1890s, when bodybuilding became a big thing, bodybuilder men were arrested for public indecency for not wearing a shirt.

#there was also the new femininity aspect to regency nipple which had to do with breastfeeding becoming fashionable among upper class #it's about the whole motherly thing that came with the french revolution #i can't remember the book i read it from so i didn't go into it because i couldn't remember the details lol #but it did definitely have an effect to the fashion and to the perception of nipple #historical fashion #fashion history #history #dress history #fashion #answers #painting #fashion plate #renaissance fashion #elizabethan fashion #rococo fashion #baroque fashion #regency fashion #will tumblr prove itself to be again more prudish than elizabethans and label my post as mature content? #remains to be seen

[hadesoftheladies]

friendly reminder that men together perfectly fit the definition of a terrorist group

"Terrorism, in its broadest sense, is the use of intentional violence and fear to achieve political or ideological aims. The term is used in this regard primarily to refer to intentional violence during peacetime or in the context of war against non-combatants (mostly civilians and neutral military personnel)." 

men are not a neutral group, not politically, not positionally or economically--they actively participate in violence as intimidation against innocent women and children (and even other men) to advance and maintain patriarchy. misogyny is an ideology and a practice. it is a belief system with a long, old history of books, sermons, articles, and propaganda art pieces. it has its philosophers, its academics, and its politicians. you do not have to look far to be buried alive by examples.

men torture women for being women. men create stereotypes and archetypes in books and movies to convince men and children of their otherness. their inhumaness. "see?" the male politician say, behind a pulpit, at a conference, in the boardrooms, "she doesn't feel pain. she is made to be penetrated. she exists to supply offspring. she is made to be owned. it is an economic necessity that women and girls are made available to the man for sex. it is a human right."

"see?" the male artist/propagandist says. "the woman is hysterical, emotional, crazy, romantic. a woman is soft and must be soft. a woman is fuckable and must be fuckable. a woman is sex and must be used for it. her beauty is our intellectual property. as men we must claim it, display it, define it--and we can. we have."

"see?" the religious man says from his pedestal. "the woman is a whore. easily tricked and deceived. untrustworthy. she cannot be an authority. only a mother. only a servant. a woman who denies her meekness is diseased and to be burned. it is not wrong to own slaves. it is not wrong to own wives. god is in our image."

"see?" the academic man says during his lecture. "history is man's invention. the suffering of women is an evolutionary fact, and is not truly suffering, for it is natural. it is her destiny. the male body is excellence. the male body is default humanity. what is his body, what he needs, is what she needs, for she is a weaker version of him."

and our brothers listen, and our fathers learned. and it showed up in our homes. the propaganda showed up on our dinner tables, in car drives. each new century, each new generation of men, pick up the movement and carry on the march. it was burning women at the stake, now it is using their faces to torture them with deepfake porn. it evolves, but not on its own. not mysteriously or "naturally" but because people, men, keep fighting to maintain the status quo.

it is active. it is a deliberate and strategic movement. it is violent. it is hatred. it is PURPOSEFUL. it is there to convince any man of conscience that what patriarchy does, what it stands for, is not morally wrong. it needs to be done. it's the natural order of things. women are half-way people, and so they deserve half-way rights. women are chattel, and so they should be well kept. they are not being unreasonable. it is the world. it is the truth. it's not politics, it's common sense.

don't fall for propaganda. take their hate seriously. because they mean to ensure the subjugation of women. they believe in it and will do the worst things possible to maintain the regime. it IS a regime. it IS REAL. do not gaslight yourselves or let others gaslight you. this is not politically neutral, it is not culturally benign, it is not destiny, it is not "healthy/normal" human behavior. it is a regime that has to repurpose itself and its propaganda to stay afloat. it must keep recruiting.

please don't fall for the "women can be just as bad/not all men" propaganda. men as a group are not a neutral political party. RESIST.

#radblr #radfem #feminism

[txttletale]

Your discussions on AI art have been really interesting and changed my mind on it quite a bit, so thank you for that! I don’t think I’m interested in using it, but I feel much less threatened by it in the same way. That being said, I was wondering, how you felt about AI generated creative writing: not, like AI writing in the context of garbage listicles or academic essays, but like, people who generate short stories and then submit them to contests. Do you think it’s the same sort of situation as AI art? Do you think there’s a difference in ChatGPT vs mid journey? Legitimate curiosity here! I don’t quite have an opinion on this in the same way, and I’ve seen v little from folks about creative writing in particular vs generated academic essays/articles

i think that ai generated writing is also indisputably writing but it is mostly really really fucking awful writing for the same reason that most ai art is not good art -- that the large training sets and low 'temperature' of commercially available/mass market models mean that anything produced will be the most generic version of itself. i also think that narrative writing is very very poorly suited to LLM generation because it generally requires very basic internal logic which LLMs are famously bad at (i imagine you'd have similar problems trying to create something visual like a comic that requires consistent character or location design rather than the singular images that AI art is mostly used for). i think it's going to be a very long time before we see anything good long-form from an LLM, especially because it's just not a priority for the people making them.

ultimately though i think you could absolutely do some really cool stuff with AI generated text if you had a tighter training set and let it get a bit wild with it. i've really enjoyed a lot of AI writing for being funny, especially when it was being done with tools like botnik that involve more human curation but still have the ability to completely blindside you with choices -- i unironically think the botnik collegehumour sketch is funnier than anything human-written on the channel. & i think that means it could reliably be used, with similar levels of curation, to make some stuff that feels alien, or unsettling, or etheral, or horrifying, because those are somewhat adjacent to the surreal humour i think it excels at. i could absolutely see it being used in workflows -- one of my friends told me recently, essentially, "if i'm stuck with writer's block, i ask chatgpt what should happen next, it gives me a horrible idea, and i immediately think 'that's shit, and i can do much better' and start writing again" -- which is both very funny but i think presents a great use case as a 'rubber duck'.

but yea i think that if there's anything good to be found in AI-written fiction or poetry it's not going to come from chatGPT specifically, it's going to come from some locally hosted GPT model trained on a curated set of influences -- and will have to either be kind of incoherent or heavily curated into coherence.

that said the submission of AI-written stories to short story mags & such fucking blows -- not because it's "not writing" but because it's just bad writing that's very very easy to produce (as in, 'just tell chatGPT 'write a short story'-easy) -- which ofc isn't bad in and of itself but means that the already existing phenomenon of people cynically submitting awful garbage to literary mags that doesn't even meet the submission guidelines has been magnified immensely and editors are finding it hard to keep up. i think part of believing that generative writing and art are legitimate mediums is also believing they are and should be treated as though they are separate mediums -- i don't think that there's no skill in these disciplines (like, if someone managed to make writing with chatGPT that wasnt unreadably bad, i would be very fucking impressed!) but they're deeply different skills to the traditional artforms and so imo should be in general judged, presented, published etc. separately.

#ask #ai art

[gtgbabie0]

Hello! This is my first time requesting anything but I wanted to give it a shot as I really like your work :) Could you do a Leon x reader fic where the reader is a college student and Leon keeps her company or just watches her while she’s studying and he just thinks she’s so pretty while studying like he notices how focused she is and he just thinks she’s so cool, I’m going through my final weeks of the semester and my academic validation strives for this scenario if that makes sense lol. High key been obsessing with rookie Leon wink wink 😉. Could there also be some sweetness like handholding 🤭 and a couple kisses or anything you’d like to add :)

Thank you and I hope you have a wonderful day/night! 🩵

Study buddy!

{Leon keeps your company as you study for an upcoming exam}

I hope this is okay my lovely!! 💕

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“Thank you baby” you smile as he presses a quick kiss to your temple, you watch as Leon picks up the plate you used for your sandwich before walking off into the kitchen shouting a quick, ‘You’re welcome angel!’ As he washes up the dish.

It was late afternoon by now and you’ve spent a good chunk of the day studying with the help of Leon, well he spent most of the day just admiring you from the end of the table.

Leon, in all honesty, could stare at you all day. He notices the way your lips purse as you read through the textbook or how your eyebrows softly knit together as you scribble down notes, absolutely angelic, he thinks as he leans in the doorway.

He watches as you stretch out your arms, “God- You’re so pretty” he compliments, moving to sit next to you, and you go giddy at how he looks at you with those love-sick eyes.

You feel a little bad, an odd sense of guilt nips at your heart mostly because he’s been sitting around doing practically nothing as he waits for you to finish studying. He’s got to be at least a little bored by now, right?

Leon watches the worry that flickers through your eyes and his hand instantly reaches for yours, “Are you alright? Do you need anything?” He asks with a genuine worry in his tone, and you swear it makes your heart melt.

You shake your head softly, “No, I’m alright- I just, I'm sorry I haven’t been the best company today” You let out a breathy giggle, looking down at your entwined hands as they lay against Leon’s lap.

His thumb smoothes over your knuckles, “What?- no I like being around you, even if I’m just sitting here watching you— I mean- okay, that sounds a little creepy, not in that way, I just- I- I like, I like being here with you” he stumbles over his words, and you giggle softly at the worry that bleeds into his tone.

You squeeze his hand in reassurance, “I get it, I’m just worried I’m boring you” you tell him and he shakes his head.

“You’re not boring, you’re awesome” he promises you, knocking your knee with his as you look up at him, “I mean you work so hard and you- you’re so insanely smart- I’m proud of you” he whispers, feeling oddly bashful at the earnest smile you give him.

Leon’s always been so sweet. Without fail every time it rendered you completely and utterly wordless, he takes your breath away without even trying. It was safe to say that he owned your heart.

“Thank you, Leon, that means so much” you whisper, your voice wavering slightly at the softness in his tone.

“You don’t have to thank me angel- now is there anything I can do to help?” He wonders, glancing over at your notes, and textbooks that are sprawled across the table, you hand him one of the many books as he flicks through it.

“Could you find page one-eighty please” You smile as you continue to write down notes, and he does so without any complaints opening the book to your desired page, and you thank him softly as you read through the context.

And Leon just watches you, his hand still entwined with yours, and he absolutely adores the way your face scrunches ever so slightly as you work, he admires you and the way you care so much about your education.

His head rests against your shoulder as he passes you a highlighter, watching as you continue to work hard, and he makes a mental note to treat you to something after your finals.

A minute or so goes by and dinner time slowly approaches, he squeezes your hand to get your attention, “Hey I’m gonna go pick something up for dinner, I’ll be back soon, alright?” he presses a kiss too your cheek as you look up at him.

“Alright baby, drive safe, I love you” you smile as he brushes your hair behind your ear.

“I love you too angel” he smiles, as he walks out the door, and decided that you’re done for the rest of the night.

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#re2 leon #leon s kennedy #leon s kennedy imagine #leon s kennedy x reader #leon scott kennedy x reader #leon scott kennedy #leon kennedy imagine #leon kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x you #leon kennedy x y/n #leon kennedy drabble #leon kennedy fluff #leon kennedy fic #leon kennedy fanfic #leon kennedy resident evil #resident evil x reader #resident evil #resident evil leon #resident evil fanfiction #resident evil fluff #resident evil fic #resident evil imagines #resident evil x you #resident evil drabble #resident evil 2

[svtdarlingbby]

"He's just a fuck-boy-frat-bro" Fratboy!Bang Chan x fem!Reader

pairing: Frat boy! Bang Chan x fem!Reader; featuring stray kids, '97 liners in Kpop, TXT genre: college au - enemies to lovers - slight angst but mostly fun! warnings: cursing, mentions of alcohol, reader is kinda mean but so is Chan, one mention of blood, slightly suggestive word count: 8904

Y/N's POV

Whoever declared the false dichotomy that studying English was “easy” did not know the amount of work that went into it. Sure, writing has always been one of my favorite hobbies, but perhaps analyzing the arguments that came into play when it comes to creating effective writing is where my passion lies. 

“You know, it would be more effective if you cut out some of the background information. No one wants to read all of that.”

Speaking of arguments.

“Chan, can you just shut the fuck up and finish the peer review?” I rolled my eyes. Workshop days were usually pretty helpful especially since I tend to procrastinate while being a perfectionist about my writing. However, the professor just had to assign us pairs today and of course, she paired me with Christopher Bahng. Or as he liked to call himself, Bang Chan. Maybe I’m exaggerating, but he’s such a fuck boy. He’s a part of some frat, a string of Greek letters I don’t care to remember. He’s always out partying too with his group of friends. They were so loud when I had the displeasure of meeting them when they sat near me at the library during undergrad as I was trying to write a paper. Let’s just say that I didn’t stay in that area for too long. To put it simply, I did not like Chan, nor did he like me. 

“I’m just saying” he began in a sing-songy voice, “Can’t you just assume your audience understands the background context?” 

He knew how to get on my nerves. “First of all Chan, yes. You’re right. The audience is academic so they probably know what I’m talking about,” I began as he smirked. “However, I only included that much background info to strengthen my credibility. That’s called appealing to ethos. Remember that?”

Chan rolled his eyes as the smirk that was plastered on his chiseled face vanished, “Yeah, whatever,” he groaned as he started to read the rest of my paper. 

I suppressed my laughter and looked back at my laptop screen, which displayed the work Chan had for peer review day. As expected, he came in with only an outline for his paper. Probably couldn’t get anything down because he was out with the boys, I thought as I began to scan his outline.

I hate to admit it, but as I read further through Chan’s outline, the more I began to see his vision. He was researching the shift in attitude toward mental health in the 21st century and the language behind that, and honestly, it was a great idea for his thesis. The thing about Chan is that he is intelligent. Despite his annoying attitude and lifestyle, he knows how to write a pretty damn good paper about something he’s passionate about. Maybe that’s why he also found himself in grad school for English with me. I was hoping that he’d go to another university after undergrad, but like me, he stayed for grad school. Just my luck. It didn’t help that we were one of the few students who stayed at our school for grad school with the rest of the cohort coming from other universities. Essentially, I was the only person he was familiar with so Chan always found his way to sit near or even next to me in all four classes we shared. Even during our training sessions, he found his way near me. I just couldn’t get rid of this guy, but at least I can get somewhat authentic writing advice from him.

“Hey Y/N,” said Chan, a suspicious smile growing on his face.

“What?” I said, trying to keep my eyes on my laptop.

“You forgot a comma here,” he said and began to giggle.

I swear if my eyes weren’t permanently rolled into the back of my head by now. “Ha-ha, very funny Chan. Ever take a look at Bean’s hierarchy like we did in training?”

“Yeah, that’s the joke. Or was that too advanced for someone as uptight as you?” he retorted, the smirk back on his face. 

“Uptight? I can take a joke,” I said, trying to sound confident. 

“Yes, you’re uptight. I’ve never seen you at a party before. You should come with me this weekend,” he said, trying to act suave.

“Now why would I want to go to a party with you?” I said, fully looking Chan into his eyes. 

“Everyone in this room knows that you have an ass, why not put it to good use?” he spoke lowly and smirked, not breaking the eye contact as I began to feel myself blush. 

“What is fucking wrong with you?” I said, trying to sound angry but it came out more flustered and whiny. I won’t admit it to Chan but wow, does my ass look that good?

“I’m just kidding, we all know I’ve got more ass than you,” he laughed as he went back to reading my paper. 

“You know damn well that’s a lie,” I blurted out, still staring at him rather than my laptop.

“Oh? Would you like to prove it to me?” replied Chan, almost a little too quickly. He seemed almost taken aback by how quickly he responded yet still smirked. 

“I-” Before I could respond, I was interrupted by a notification from my phone. It was a text from my friend Rosé, who swears Chan and I are soulmates because she thinks we are so similar. Thankfully Chan notices me get distracted by my phone and uses that as an excuse to drop his absurd question and continue reading my paper. I couldn’t wait to tell Rosé about what Chan just said.

Rosé: ok i know we’re both not into frat parties and stuff but Jaehyun is being dragged to that frat party on saturday by jungkook and mingyu and he wants me to come. You don’t have to but do you think you could come with me?

Oh god, she had to be referring to the party Chan mentioned earlier. I thought about it. The worst thing that could happen is Jaehyun getting caught up with his friends and losing Rosé, which I doubt. Jaehyun was truly a gentleman and he was also a part of the English program with Rosé and me. He wouldn’t do that to her. But at the same time, these frat parties were unpredictable and what kind of friend would I be to leave my friend in that kind of situation? 

Y/N: yeah i heard about that party. Don’t worry, I’ll come with. But you’re promising me that we are avoiding frat guys especially Chan

Rosé: of course! We’ll just stay with Jaehyun who would prob want to leave early anyway.  

Rosé: but

Rosé: it’ll be hard to avoid frat guys especially Chan with your ass 🤭

Rosé: and his ass honestly. You guys are both hot so…

Y/N: Rosé i swear I’m not going to the party now

Rosé: NO i was jk. But fr ur hot

Y/N: thank you 😇send me the details of the party when you get them. Also what you’re gonna be wearing!

Y/N: OMG speaking of, guess what Chan said

Rosé: omg what

Y/N: he was trying to invite me to the party actually and he said something about me having an ass yet his was still bigger and so I called him out on that statement and he basically asked me to prove to him that my ass was fatter 🤢

Rosé: HELP OMG now why would he say that 😭

Y/N: cuz he’s a typical fuck boi

I put my phone down because I suddenly remembered I had to finish up Chan’s peer review. Just as I was about to focus my attention back to my laptop, Chan’s annoying voice spoke up.

“Who were you texting?” he asked, so nosy. 

“None of your business,” I responded, still looking at my screen.

“Is it a guy?” he asked, before looking up. “I saw the way you were smiling.”

“Oh my god, it was just Rosé. Why are you so concerned?” I snapped, regaining eye contact with Chan who smirked once again. 

Chan’s POV:

My plan is working, thank god Rosé’s dragging Y/N along to that party. God, she’s so fucking hot when she’s mad, especially at me. She’s so funny, all of my friends, her friends, and even everyone in our cohort know that she finds me attractive yet chooses to hate me. It’s crazy, she’s the smartest girl I know but she’s so stupid, denying her feelings. I just pretend to hate her to keep the game going, and it’s been going on since like freshman year. I feel like if she truly hated me, she probably would’ve reported me or something. Not that I’d do anything creepy, no, I have boundaries. I just love to mess with her. And perhaps I might also love her. 

I don’t know why I ever admitted that. The boys made fun of me so much. 

“Wait, I know you love to mess with her, but you think you love her?” laughed Changbin among the boys. 

“Well, I-” I stammered, before being interrupted. 

“Bro, how? She hates your guts!” laughed Jeongin.

“Okay but-”

“I don’t think Y/N hates him. She would’ve blocked and maybe gotten his ass kicked out of here by now if she truly hated him,” said Minho, a matter of factly. 

“And even though neither of them would admit it, they seem like friends. I mean, they’ve had classes together for five years now. And I’ve seen Y/N willingly sit next to Chan all the time. They’ve even had lunch together a few times! If she hated him, she would’ve moved seats and ignored him all these years,” added Felix optimistically.��

“Oh my god, are you saying Y/N probably loves Chan?” asked Seungmin, wide-eyed. 

“YES! I’ve known it all these years. I’ve seen the way she looks at you, all that tension from denying her true feelings. This confused girl loves you!” mused Jisung. 

“Yeah, honestly, if she wasn’t in the grad program, I might not have pursued grad school. If that isn’t love, I don’t know what is,” I admitted, feeling flustered in front of the guys. 

“Okay, so how are you going to tell her?” interrogated Jisung. Of course, he wants me to do something about it. 

“I really don’t know. I never really planned on it honestly,” I revealed, earning a few dramatic gasps from my friends. 

“How about at the party on Saturday?” asked Hyunjin.

“No, she hates frat parties. But I’ve also heard from Rosé that Y/N can party so I don’t know,” I answered, feeling almost hopeless. 

“Wait, Chan,” began Minho, a smirk arising on his features, “What if we make Y/N go to that party?”

“Dude, no. As much as I like messing with her, I won’t force her to go somewhere she’s uncomfortable,” I replied somewhat urgently. 

“No, not like that. You know Rosé, right? Those two are like best friends. She’s dating Jaehyun, right? He’s in the frat and I know his buddies Jungkook and Mingyu are going to drag his ass there,” explained Minho. “So how about we use Rosé to bring Y/N to the party?”

“Damn Minho, why do you have this elaborate plan?” chuckled Hyunjin.

“I still haven’t gotten back at her for that one time she went out with Jisung,” spoke Minho lowly, “If this plan doesn’t work, at least she gets to see me all up on Jisung.”

“Whoa calm down Minho, it was one date remember? Before we were a thing? I ghosted her after that!” laughed Jisung. 

God, I remember that. I was so angry when I found out Jisung’s Bumble date all those years ago was Y/N. Granted, that was freshman year, but still! I shouldn’t be jealous, but Jisung’s one of my bros even though he has clearly moved on. I’m sure Y/N has moved on, God, I hope so. 

“Anyways,” I began, “What exactly is going to happen at the party once she’s there?”

“OH! Rosé should totally abandon her! And then you can swoop in and not act like a pretentious asshole for once!” chirped Hyunjin. “And you’ll be surrounded by all the frat guys, who are going to be acting like that and maybe she’ll see that you’re different than the rest!”

The room erupted in agreement from the guys and I began to feel myself warm up to their elaborate plan. “You know what, I think you guys are onto something,” I nodded in agreement as the guys cheered. “I’m going to text Rosé, I know she’d love to set her bestie up.”

Chan: Sup Rosé

Rosé; oh god what do you want

Chan: ok I’m being fr rn. But I have feelings for Y/N

Rosé: that’s the big news? 😭come on, we all knew that. 

Rosé: I mean, everyone but Y/N she thinks she hates you but we all know that’s a lie

Chan: wait-

Chan: what do you mean???

Rosé: oh um

Rosé: Y/N is literally going to murder me but

Rosé: at our last girls party, I don’t know what she was on but she admitted that she finds you hot 😭

Wait. What. Y/N thinks I’m hot? Oh my god!

“GUYS Y/N THINKS I’M HOT!” I blurted out to the guys who all cheered in response.

“YES CHAN’S GONNA GET IT!” screamed Changbin as he smacked my back rather harshly. 

“OUCH!”

“Sorry bro, the gains, you know?”

I ended up telling Rosé the plan and surprisingly she agreed on the condition that nothing bad happens to Y/N and that she won’t stop her from leaving if she gets uncomfortable. Okay, fair. And I know Y/N. She’s super loyal to her friends so she’ll be at that party either way. God, I’m so excited but nervous. She’s going to look so hot too, I wonder what she looks like outside of her school clothes. 

Y/N’s POV

Thank god class was almost over, but why was Chan so concerned with who I was texting? I brushed him off and finished peer-reviewing his outline. Surprisingly, I left a lot of positive feedback but made sure to sneak in some snarky comments. And I corrected his grammar just to be petty. How are you in grad school but can’t differentiate between a dependent and independent clause? 

“Here, damn,” I groaned as I hit send on the email where the peer-review was attached. 

“Aw, you liked my outline!” rejoiced Chan in that annoying voice of his as he opened the attachment. 

“You should be lucky that you’re receiving my feedback. I’m the only one here that would tell you that you suck to your face,” I said as I began to pack up my laptop into my bag. 

“Well honey, from the looks of it, you found a lot more positive things about my outline than negative,” laughed Chan. 

“Whatever,” I groaned, “Have you even finished peer-reviewing my draft by the way?”

“Almost done, I’ll send it to you in a bit,” he said as he started typing once again. 

“Thanks, I guess,” I muttered as I left the classroom. 

What I didn’t know was that my half-hearted “thanks” caused Chan’s heart to skip a beat. 

The day of the frat party came by faster than expected. Honestly, this whole week was a whirlwind. Thanks to Chan’s surprisingly helpful feedback, I was able to finish the essay before the weekend. I usually don’t drink, but, even being around alcohol can get hungover somehow and I wasn’t going to let a stupid frat party be the demise of my grade. Plus, I had to drive back home. 

Usually, I partied with my close friends and attended quite a few parties during my college career. I wonder how it’s going to be to go to a “real” college party, especially as a grad student no less. Maybe Chan was right. Maybe I am uptight. Whatever. I know his dumbass is going to be at that party. I might as well show him what “uptight” is. 

With that, I had a fun time choosing my outfit! I’ll admit, it was kinda low-cut. Okay, it was really low-cut but it flattered my good in every way. I haven’t worn it in a while but the black blouse was flirty and fun, with the dotted fabric of the arms sheer and the cropped nature of the shirt sitting right at my waist. I’d pair it with some nice jeans that flattered me. The outfit was far from uptight. And I could tell it would be a real crowd-pleaser based on Rosé’s enthusiastic reaction.

Rosé: WAIT DAMNNN OKAY

Rosé: CAN CHAN FIGHT????

Y/N: LMAO thanks but prob not!! 

Y/N: I’d rather be all yours anyways 🙄

Rosé: awww

Rosé: I wonder if Chan’s fave color is black 🤭

Y/N: OH GOD why would you say that 😭 i hope not 🤢

Rosé: LMAO I’m kidding lol butttt he is gonna see you like that just saying

Y/N: okay and? Not my problem

Rosé: yeah sureeee anyways are you almost at my apartment so we could head on over?

Y/N: Yeah, just found a parking spot. Heading over!

Flipping my hair out of my face, I headed toward Rosé’s apartment. Honestly, I was feeling kind of nervous going to this party. What if something bad happens? 

Outside the apartment building, I saw none other than Rosé accompanied by her boyfriend Jaehyun. Ugh, they looked perfect together, hand in hand and conversing about something they both could only hear. Until I interrupted.

“Rosé!” I yelled, quickening my pace.

“Y/N! You’re here!” she exclaimed, letting go of Jaehyun’s hand as we hugged each other and flooded one another with compliments of how we looked. 

“Damn Rosé, that ass of yours in those jeans?” I swooned, fanning myself. 

“Ahem.”

“Oh! Hey Jaehyun!” I exclaimed, caught off guard by Rosé’s quiet boyfriend.

“Hey Y/N!” he laughed as Rosé joined him, presumably at my flustered state.

“Listen! I wasn’t trying to take Rosé away from you! I would never!” I tried to explain, “Even though she was my friend first,” I mumbled that last part under my breath.

“It’s all good! Should we head over now?” asked Rosé as we began to walk toward the frat houses. 

The walk over to the frat house was longer than we thought it would be, but thankfully we all wore sneakers. The chill of the fall air blew as Jaehyun draped his sweater over Rosé’s shoulders. God, they were so cute. I can’t believe someone like Jaehyun was technically a frat dude. Come to think of it, Rosé was also in a sorority. I’m sure they knew their way around these parties. 

We opened the door just to be met with some frat bro who I quickly recognized as one of Chan’s friends. 

“Sup Jaehyun, I see you’re in ratio” he smirked as he let us in.

“Thanks, Hyunjin” laughed Jaehyun as he fist-bumped his brother as Rosé and I followed him inside. 

“Ratio?” I asked, perplexed. 

“Oh some frats have this thing where a guy should bring two girls with him to be let into a party,” Rosé explained as I quickly understood despite an even more confused expression gracing my features. I chose not to dwell on it as I took in my surroundings. Of course, red solo cups are in the hands of every attendee. Some of Chan’s friends were setting up some music. Sports were playing on the flatscreen TV. So far, so good.

“Hey, Jaehyun!” yelled Jungkook, who seemingly popped out of nowhere.

“Jaehyun!” yelled Mingyu, following behind the older one. God, Kim Mingyu and Jeon Jungkook. I’ve always thought they were so hot; I couldn’t help but feel a little shy as I scooted closer to Rosé.

Jaehyun greeted his friends as they all clapped hands, hugged each other, and made small talk. I felt kind of awkward just watching them honestly, so I turned to Rosé.

“I’m not drinking tonight, but did you wanna get a drink?” I asked.

“Sure, why not? Oh my god you know what I just realized?” she said, eyes brightening.

“What?” I asked, ever amused by her.

“You might actually see me drunk in person instead of over text!” she laughed.

“Wait, oh my gosh that’s so true!” I exclaimed with excitement as she grabbed a drink, making our way back to Jaehyun and his handsome friends. 

“Oh there you are,” said Jaehyun as he turned around, his eyes lighting up when he saw his girlfriend. 

Before any of us could respond, the house suddenly boomed with music and a certain boisterous voice made himself apparent.

“HELLO ABΩ! IT’S YOUR BOY BANG CHAN HERE!” 

Oh no. I expected him to be here but outside of school, he’s going to be ten times more annoying. I sighed and rolled my eyes as I sipped on some water. 

“The party is just getting started, my boy Jeongin made this fire playlist. Let loose, enjoy yourself, and remember, tag me and follow me on Instagram @gnabnahc!” he smiled into the microphone. All the frat guys began to cheer, encouraging him. I exhaled, just staring at how ridiculous Chan looked, with his white tee shirt, fitted so perfectly against his sculpted muscles. And his black jeans, emphasizing that dumptruck of his. Of course, he was wearing a cap too.   “Let’s have a great night! And-” Suddenly he stopped, creating an awkward silence despite the booming music. 

And then I realized. He was staring right into my eyes. I blinked a few times before looking away, feeling Rosé nudge me as she stifled a laugh. 

“I lost my train of thought!” Chan laughed, shifting the mood back to the energetic one he had created mere seconds before. “Anyways play some beer pong, dance, have fun!” And once again, all of the frat bros cheered as the party began.

I still felt flustered and annoyed, but also powerful at the same time. Did me just standing there make the cocky and confident Bang Chan flustered to the point of freezing up in front of the boys at a party no less? I smirked, though my cheeks still felt warm as I saw Changbin laughing and smacking Chan’s shoulder. 

“Y/N! Did you hear me? Or were you too busy staring back at Chan?” smirked Rosé as she waved her hand in front of my face. 

“Wait what?” I blinked as she and Jaehyun began to laugh. 

“I was saying you and Chan had a little moment right there! Locking eyes, the world disappearing around you two?” laughed Rosé.

“Very Jane Austen” added Jaehyun in agreement.

“Jane Austen would never write about a frat guy at a frat party no less,” I scoffed, crossing my arms as the couple in front of me shared knowing glances. 

Chan’s POV

I will never hear the end of this. Changbin is still smacking my shoulder with his sheer strength and keeps laughing at how I got distracted. 

“Oh my god, my abs. I’m not gonna have to train them anymore because of you!” laughed Changbin.

“Will you quit?” I rolled my eyes at his antics. “Very funny, I got distracted.”

“It’s not even that you got distracted! It’s who made you distracted! Tell me, what was it about Y/N that made you practically drool in front of everyone? Was it her hair? Maybe her eyes? Or was it her tits- OW!” 

“Not now Changbin,” I muttered after I smacked him. God, I need a beer. I left Changbin behind to find Minho handling the drinks. 

“We all saw that, dude,” said Minho somewhat apologetically as he handed me a drink. 

“Yeah, whatever,” I said, drinking from the cup rather quickly.

“So, the plan?” asked Minho expectantly. 

Right. The elaborate plan of the night. Initially, it seemed easy enough but I didn’t realize just how flustered by Y/N I would be. God, how does she get hotter every time I see her? 

“I was gonna wait a little later into the night to tell Rosé to abandon Y/N,” I explained to Minho who nodded. 

“Why don’t you go ahead and break the ice with Y/N? I think you acknowledging her early on will show her you have some decency,” suggested Minho. 

“That’s not a bad idea,” I replied as I glanced over at Y/N across the crowd before making my way toward her. 

Y/N’s POV:

Rosé was too busy talking to Jaehyun as I took in my surroundings once again. The party was beginning to get lively with more people dancing, especially Hyunjin, who was already surrounded by several guys and girls alike. Dancing would be fun honestly, but it would be awkward going up there and not knowing anyone. Just as I took my eyes off the dance floor, I met the gaze of none other than Chan. 

“Oh god, what do you want,” I muttered unenthusiastically as he walked toward me. 

“So, you made it? I knew you weren’t as uptight as you let on,” smirked Chan as he leaned against the wall, drink in hand.

“Don’t you have a paper to write?” I asked, trying not to take in how attractive he looked at that moment. Maybe all that alcohol around me was starting to intoxicate me somehow. He never looks good.

“Well someone provided me with some extra good feedback on my outline the other day,” he began, smiling, “Let’s just say that was an easy paper to write.”

I scoffed, “No way you wrote twenty-five pages in two days, weekdays no less.”

“Oh, but I did. I know you think I’m just a typical frat bro but I do care about the mental health movement,” he said, cocking an eyebrow up as his gaze bore into my soul. 

“Whatever,” I said, breaking eye contact and feeling a bit flustered. 

“Anyways,” began Chan, “It’s nice seeing you here. Nice to see you outside of class, I mean,” he stumbled as his eyes scanned my outfit. 

It was my turn to make him flustered. “Are you talking about me, or my tits?” I smirked, standing up straighter as he shuffled. 

“Well, I-” he began, before regaining his composure, “I expected to see your ass, not your tits today.”

“CHAN!” I yelled as he laughed, “Well, at least mine are bigger than yours!”

“That I can agree with,” Chan laughed, causing me to chuckle and playfully smack his arm. 

“We can finally agree on something,” I admitted as I playfully rolled my eyes and he nodded in response. 

“I’d say we’re finally on the same level of debate,” Chan winked as he referenced our TA curriculum. 

“Yeah, I would say that we passed conjecture so we’re definitely on definition right now,” I said as I dramatically furrowed my brows, pretending to be a teacher. 

“God, I’m so glad we’re actually applying what we’ve learned to the real world!” Chan exclaimed, dramatically opening his arms and gesturing to the “real world” that was the frat party before him. I hate to admit it, but Chan was actually funny. He knew how to appeal to my sense of humor. As hard as grad school is, these little jokes make me feel like I’m not alone. As we were laughing, I could just feel the stares of several people burning through the bubble Chan and I created. He could feel it too. In the corner of my eye, I could see Rosé giggling at us. Oh god, she probably took some pictures too. I also felt the knowing stares of Chan’s friends, even Hyunjin who was surrounded by guys and girls had his gaze fixated on Chan and me. Also, did I see Jisung, that one guy I had that awkward date with freshman year, stop making out with Chan’s other friend Minho just for them to look in our direction? What was going on?

Chan’s POV

I’m glad Y/N is warming up to me, she’s honestly not uptight at all! As awkward as my first glance, well, stare, at her today was, I’m so glad she didn’t bring that up. Speaking of staring, what is wrong with me? She saw me staring at her tits god I want to die. I mean, she didn’t murder me! That’s a good sign, right? As fun and lighthearted as our conversation was, how come the guys and Rosé had to be so fucking obvious? I thought this plan was supposed to be low-key, not “everyone-stare-at-Chan-to-see-if-he-finally-asks-Y/N-out.” I think Y/N is catching on, I mean, I practically feel everyone’s staring at us. I need to find a distraction, quickly. 

“Ahem” I cleared my throat, “Do you want another drink?” 

“Oh, um, yeah sure,” she replied as I snapped her out of her thoughts as we made our way to the drink table. 

I don’t know why I was reacting so quickly but as Y/N reached for a water bottle, something in me told me to grab it for her. It wasn’t until our hands met on the same water bottle that I snapped out of my actions.

“Oh-”

“Sorry!”

“Here, I’ll grab it for you,” I said, handing her the water bottle.

“Thanks,” she replied, looking down. Oh god, am I screwing this up? Did I make it awkward? From the corner of my eye, Felix gave me an apologetic smile as I wearily shook my head. I had to fix this. 

“So, you’re not drinking tonight?” I asked, breaking the ice. 

“Nope. I’ve gotta drive home but being drunk would be fun,” chuckled Y/N before taking a sip. “Yeah? How’s ‘drunk’ Y/N?” I asked using air quotations.

“I don’t remember,” laughed Y/N, “The videos I’ve seen of me in that state are hilarious though. I get cocky, witty, and flirty, so kind of like you on a regular basis. So yeah, I turn into a fuck boy.”

“That does sound like me,” I chuckled as we sat down on the couch. “We’re pretty similar, don’t you think?”

Y/N grimaced. “Rosé thinks so.”

“Oh yeah?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Yeah, and it’s so far from the truth!” she exclaimed dramatically, “Rosé, come here!” she yelled over the couch for her friend. Ugh. Just when I thought I could get her alone without Rosé having to completely abandon her friend. 

“Yes?” asked Rosé, another drink in hand.

“Come on, sit down and tell Chan about your delusions. About how you think we’re the same person,” said Y/N who scooted away from me, gesturing for Rosé to sit between her and me. I swear if Rosé cockblocks me…

Fortunately for me, Rosé takes a seat on Y/N’s other side. “You two are so similar oh my god, Chan you don’t even know the full extent,” giggled Rosé as she leaned into Y/N. Ugh. That should be me. 

“Yeah? How are we so similar?” I said glancing between the two women expectedly. 

“You both are studying English!,” laughed Rosé.

“Oh yeah, I didn’t know that!” scoffed Y/N sarcastically as I chuckled.

“Oh, oh! Your zodiac signs are compatible!” Rosé smirked as she raised her eyebrows. 

“Oh yeah, you’re a Libra right? October 3rd?” asked Y/N expectantly and I nodded. She knows my birthday?! I don’t know why my heart began to race at this fact. (A/N- guys for the sake of the story let’s pretend every zodiac sign is compatible with Libra lol!)

“Oh- and don’t forget, your MBTIs are super compatible too!” exclaimed Rosé.

“I’m an ENFJ, what are you?” I asked as Y/N looked away and replied (your MBTI). Oh my gosh, ENFJ and (your MBTI) are like, supposed to be soulmates. (A/N- guys for the sake of the story let’s pretend every MBTI is compatible with ENFJ lol)

“Oh- and also! Remember the blood drive for the frats and sororities? You’re type O Chan!” chimed Rosé.

“How did you remember that?” I chuckled looking between the clearly intoxicated Rosé and Y/N. 

“I’ll let Y/N explain that one!” exclaimed Rosé as she darted her eyes between Y/N and I. 

“Ugh, unfortunately, that means your blood type can be accepted by any other blood type, Chan. So your blood would be accepted by mine,” gagged Y/N, “I’d rather die at that point,” she deadpanned, causing both Rosé and I to laugh. 

“Really? You’d rather die than receive my thick, juicy, red blood from these veins?” I asked, making a fist so the veins on my arms would appear. Y/N bit her lip and exhaled as Rosé laughed even harder. 

“Yeah Y/N, I thought you had an arm kink?” blurted out Rosé, who was probably drunk by now.

“Rosé!” yelled Y/N, getting more flustered and looking away from me. I only laughed harder and felt my ego rise exponentially. She’s an arm girl? Noted. I’ll have to wear tank tops more often. 

“Like what you see?” I whispered to Y/N, flexing my biceps. She didn’t respond, but I saw the way her eyes lingered. 

“Yeah Y/N! You should feel his muscles” laughed Rosé as she grabbed Y/N’s hand suddenly and placed it on top of my bicep

“Rosé!” yelled Y/N as her hand retracted quickly from my bicep. God, if only she knew how flustered I was feeling right now. Before I knew it, I blurted out “I don’t bite. Go for it.” 

“Oh, um. Okay,” replied Y/N as she leaned over and felt my muscles. I tried not to act flustered as she leaned toward me, that blouse of her’s making it hard to focus on her hand on my arm. I swear her skin on mine was something I had been craving for years. “Neat,” she said, retracting her arm but I could see the redness gathering on her cheeks. 

“Whoa, save some room for Jesus!” blurted out a boy with long, dark brown hair. Behind him was a taller boy who looked somewhat flustered.

“Beomgyu? Soobin? What are you guys doing here?” Y/N’s eyes lit up instantly at the sight of them. I could feel my blood begin to boil but I had to maintain my composure. I can’t let something like jealousy ruin the plan. 

“You guys aren’t even in this frat!” laughed Rosé, causing the two guys to chuckle. 

“Yeah and? We’re here for a good time, right Soob?” laughed Beomgyu as he smacked Soobin in the chest.

“Oh- Uh, yeah! How are you, Y/N?” asked Soobin shyly. Why was he asking about her specifically? I kept my mouth shut as I glanced at Y/N, who looked somewhat flustered herself. 

“I didn’t think I’d be here but this one dragged me here,” explained Y/N as she glanced over at Rosé. 

“Okay and? You’re having a good time?” stated Rosé like it was the most obvious thing. 

Everyone chuckled but me, but I tried to play it cool and forced myself to smile at their small talk. Ugh, I just wish these cockblockers would go away!

“Oh my god, they’re playing Rodeo! Soobin, you like that song don’t you?” boomed Beomgyu as he gestured toward Soobin. “Let’s get up there!” he exclaimed as he gestured toward Y/N and pulled her from the couch.

“Wait this song is so funny!” laughed Y/N as she enthusiastically made her way to the dance floor with Soobin and Beomgyu. 

And just like that, my jaw was on the floor. How did these two random guys, who aren’t even in my frat by the way, just snatch Y/N away from me like that? 

“Ouch,” muttered Rosé as I stared at the dance floor in disbelief. 

“Bro did that just actually happen?” I heard Seungmin say as he took Y/N’s vacant spot.

“Man, I’m sorry,” I heard Felix’s deep voice behind the couch as he leaned over to pat my shoulder comfortingly. 

“How- She just- I just-” I stammered, still in disbelief at what just happened. 

“So um, Beomgyu and Soobin know Y/N from biology class during undergrad,” explained Rosé, trying to help me make sense of this. “Soobin was her lab partner.” Honestly, that didn’t really help as I just sighed in response. To be honest, I knew getting Y/N wasn’t going to be this easy. If I have competition, so be it. 

“Give me a minute,” I muttered as I stood up to get another drink. I felt their apologetic stares burn into my back as I made my way to the drinks. I glanced at the dance floor, and of course, Y/N was having the time of her life. God, she looked so hot dancing. Putting that ass to good use like I had said earlier. Just as I was about to look away, an unsightly scene unfolded before me on the dance floor. Why were Soobin and Y/N practically grinding on one another like that? My blood was already boiling, but now it was evaporated by how angry and jealous I felt. I know my face showed that as I made eye contact with Y/N as she smirked. 

Y/N’s POV

Ah Soobin, my old lab partner. My old crush. It didn’t end up working out between us back in undergrad, Soobin claiming that while he did like me, he just couldn’t devote enough time to a relationship. He was a part of many biology related clubs and even president of one. He also had a job on top of all that. Honestly, that was understandable and I quickly moved past those feelings. However, for Soobin I could definitely tell those feelings never went away. Maybe it’s a good thing Soobin studied biology; he couldn’t analyze situations like I could. Let’s face it, Chan was being extra good and not annoying today. That’s really suspicious, and frankly, I don’t know how to react to his good behavior. Admittedly, yes, I was flustered by our interactions throughout today. But he’s just a fuck boy frat bro. He’s always going to be flirting around, probably in hopes of getting laid. I don’t want to be just another one of those girls he fucks for the sake of it. I thought he knew that by now that I’m not into hookup culture. When Beomgyu and Soobin appeared, it was a perfect opportunity to test out my hypothesis: if Bang Chan wasn’t attracted to me like that, then he’d have no problem seeing me dance with another guy. I also just wanted to dance really badly. 

Also, “Rodeo” by Lah Pat and Flo Milli? The song used in every fuck boy thirst trap and slutty TikTok edits? How could I pass the opportunity to not make Chan jealous with such an explicit song about fucking?

“I wanna feel your body on top of mine!” I sang, eyeing Soobin while swaying my hips as some girls hyped me up on the dance floor. 

“Go Y/N!” cheered Beomgyu as he pulled out some smooth moves. 

It seemed like Soobin was getting out of his shell as he suddenly busted out some killer dance moves, slowly closing the distance between us. “Like a rodeo babe!” he winked. I forgot how fun it was to dance, especially with such a supportive crowd. I wonder if someone was watching. I could practically feel Soobin’s warmth behind me as we danced when I locked eyes with Chan who was heading toward the drinks. I could tell he was fuming as his gaze bore into mine. 

“I wanna feel your body on top of mine!” I sang again, trying to be as seductive as possible in the way I moved, never breaking eye contact with Chan. I don’t know where this surge of confidence came from, but god I felt powerful. Maybe this is how Chan usually feels.

Chan blinked back, seemingly flustered and even angry as he looked away and got another drink. He walked out of the front door dejectedly. I laughed as Beomgyu shot me a confused glance but I just waved him off as he continued dancing. As I was dancing with Soobin though, I began to feel guilty. Why the hell did I feel bad for Chan? He didn’t own me, in fact, he always went out of his way to make me angry and annoyed. Okay, he never went this far but still. And I practically just used Soobin to make Chan jealous knowing that Soobin still probably had feelings for me. I’ve always chided Chan for being a fuck boy, but here I was playing with his feelings and even bringing another guy into this mess by using him. Maybe I’m the fuck boy. 

The next song began to play, and I knew I needed to make things right before they got worse. 

“Hey, Soobin?” I asked over the blaring music as I gestured for him to follow me away from the dance floor.

“Yes, Y/N?” replied Soobin as he leaned down to my height so he could hear me. 

“Thank you for the dance, but sorry. I didn’t mean to get all up on you. I don’t want to lead you on, because I’ve moved on since undergrad. I should’ve considered your feelings before I did that, I’m sorry,” I rambled my apology, not really knowing what to say and hoping the damage wasn’t already done. 

“Oh,” paused Soobin as he looked down, “It’s okay, I just… I just wish I hadn’t been a coward and made excuses back then.”

“What are you talking about Soobin?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Well, you clearly moved on. I always see you with Chan especially since you started grad school. Even at this party, you were with him when I walked in. Beomgyu just tried to convince me to take a chance and try to get you back, but I can see I missed my chance,” smiled Soobin wistfully. “I could tell you were trying to make Chan jealous when you danced with me.”

Well, maybe I was wrong. Soobin read my plan like a book. Why wasn’t he in the English program?

“Was I that obvious,” I muttered, looking away from Soobin as he chuckled. 

“I knew it was too good to be true when you were moving like that. Like you had a point to prove,” chuckled Soobin. 

“Ugh, I’m sorry Soobin,” I apologized once again.

“It’s okay, I know you’re an asshole now,” he laughed dryly before gesturing to the door, “Now go get Chan. I’ll be okay. I’ve gotta take care of Beomgyu.”

I glanced at the dance floor and Beomgyu was clearly very drunk and happily dancing. Soobin gave me a reassuring smile.

“Thanks Soob. Take care,” I smiled back before making my way out of the frat house through the door Chan left from. 

Chan’s POV:

I shivered as the cool autumn breeze hit me, the hand holding my drink becoming disproportionately colder than the rest of my body as a result of the sudden temperature change. God, why did Y/N dancing with another guy bother me so much? Everything was going perfectly until Soobin showed up. I know she’s not technically mine but why does the thought of her being with someone who isn’t me hurt so much? I get so angry when things don’t go my way. What should I do!? I blinked back a few tears as I paced along the sidewalk near the building. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and saw the concerned texts from some of the guys in our group chat. 

Felix: hey Chan, are you okay? I’m here if you need anything

Jeongin: what happened to Chan?

Hyunjin: his genius plan isn’t working *insert video of Y/N and Soobin on the dance floor*

Minho: oh my god that bitch

Jisung: okay maybe I was right to ghost her!

Seungmin: yeahhh it was pitiful 

Changbin: damn I’m sorry bro

I sighed, not bothering to reply. I just needed some space to process the fact that Y/N is probably going to leave the party with another guy. Someone who isn’t me. Maybe I shouldn’t have messed with her as much as I did. I’m sure it must have gotten old pretty quickly. I should’ve just been honest with her from the beginning. But no, I just had to maintain my frat boy image. I don’t know why, or how, I could be this stupid. I just fucked up my chances of being with the prettiest, funniest, and smartest girl I know. Just as I reached to wipe my tears, I heard a familiar voice. 

“Chan!”

I turned around and was faced with none other than Y/N. Concern and regret painted her features as she gazed into my teary eyes. 

“Chan,” she spoke softly, inching closer to me. “I’m sorry. I was an asshole. I shouldn’t have left you like that just to make you jealous on purpose. I’m really sorry.”

I quickly blinked back any tears that remained and wiped the rest off my face. “Y/N, you came to find me?”

Y/N blinked a few times before replying, “Of course. I wanted to mess with you but I could tell that you were hurt. I couldn’t just leave you alone.”

I swallowed before speaking, gently taking ahold of her hand. “Y/N, I need to come clean. I like, no, I love you. I have loved you for a long time. Since like, freshman year. I only pretended to hate you just to mess with you. I don’t know why, I’m so stupid, I just, I thought that was just how a frat guy should act. Clearly not, I just annoyed you and I don’t blame you if you don’t return my feelings. I’ve been an asshole to you for a long time, and I’m sorry,” I rambled, feeling her grip on my hand tighten as I felt myself begin to shake. 

“Chan…” muttered Y/N as she looked into my eyes. God, I’m so embarrassed. 

Y/N’s POV:

I just felt so guilty, and I’m glad I apologized. It’s the least I could do. I know Chan loves to mess with me but he has never gone out of his way to hurt me like I just did to him. However, he really did just drop a bomb out of nowhere. Chan loves me? 

“Chan,” I said, squeezing his hand once again to get him to look at me. It works. “I honestly didn’t realize you felt that way. Wow,”

“Listen, I don’t want to pressure you at all to say yes. I just think you deserve to know how I truly feel,” admitted Chan. 

“No, it’s not that. I just think that you helped me describe what I’ve been feeling,” I admitted. “I always thought I hated you, but I’ve always been drawn to you. It’s not the same if you’re away. And I’m actually kind of glad you didn’t go away for grad school because you’re such a constant in my life. Like, I couldn’t imagine not going to school with you.”

Chan began to laugh. “What’s so funny?” I asked, bracing myself for Chan to probably admit this was a whole prank or something.

“It’s just, I only chose to go to grad school in the first place because you were doing it. And you just so happened to be staying here so I followed you,” laughed Chan, squeezing my hand gingerly. 

My eyes widened, “Well this is news to me!”

“When I told the guys this, they insisted I asked you out. So we made this whole elaborate plan to get you to this party but the plan didn’t really go as planned,” confessed Chan.

“Oh Chan,” I laughed, “Did you guys think you could really fool me?”

“Yeah. So did Rosé,” smirked Chan.

“She what?” I asked, shocked that Rosé was plotting with Chan.

“She’s gonna kill me for telling you but yes, I asked her to bring you here.”

“Oh my god, that’s why her text about the party conveniently came during peer review!” everything began to click as Chan smiled. “I mean, that explains everyone staring at us this whole night.”

“There’s the smart Y/N I know,” laughed Chan, staring at me with adoration which made me flustered. 

“I should’ve known,” I laughed dryly, “But Chan, seriously, I did have a great time with you tonight. And I don’t want that to end so, yes, I’ll be your girlfriend I guess.”

“You what!?” Chan’s jaw dropped as his eyes brightened.

“Don’t make me repeat myself,” I rolled my eyes as I pulled him into a kiss. His plush lips I used to despise returned the kiss as he fought back a smile, putting his hands on my waist to draw me closer. We pulled back from one another because we couldn’t stop smiling. 

“God, Y/N. You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to do that,” mused Chan as a genuine smile graced his features as he put an arm around my waist. 

“Yeah it took you long enough,” I rolled my eyes playfully and leaned into his embrace. “Now do you wanna go back inside to party?”

“I’m happy wherever you are, Y/N.”

Chan’s POV

YESSSS I DID IT!!! Y/N IS MINE NOW! Oh my god, oh my god. All it took was for me to word-vomit everything I had felt about her with a pinch of jealousy to make her my girlfriend. I don’t even remember the initial plan because this outcome is so much better. I smiled at the girl in my arms, the one I spent years annoying because I couldn’t communicate my feelings. This is what bliss is. 

Suddenly, my phone began to vibrate like crazy once again. 

“Hold on, I think the guys are texting me,” I tell Y/N as I bring out my phone. I gasp as my eyes widen.

Felix: So uh, I went outside to find Chan and this is what I saw 😳 *insert pic of Chan and Y/N kissing*

Hyunjin: omg how the turns have tabled

Jisung: WHAT!! The switch up is crazyyyyy

Jeongin: oh god my eyesssss (nice job Chan)

Seungmin: phew Chan is okay lol

A message was deleted by Minho

Minho: Aw finally! (I didn’t call Y/N a bitch earlier nooo)

Changbin: CHAN’S GETTING IT AYYY

“What’s wrong Chan?” asked Y/N as she fished out her phone which was also buzzing with notifications. 

“Just check your phone,” I muttered in disbelief, but I couldn’t help but hold back a smile. 

Y/N’s POV

I took Chan’s advice and checked my phone. Maybe something had happened at the party while we were gone? Instead, I found like a hundred notifications from Rosé.

Rosé: AHFEWFEJ WHAT JUST HAPPENED

Rosé: I know you liked Soobin at one point but like

Rosé: omg Chan is actually sad

Rosé: check your phoneee even Jaehyun agrees

Rosé: wait omg

Rosé: *insert pic of Chan and Y/N kissing*

Rosé: care to explain? 🤭

“Oh my god Rosé!” I yelled.

Chan POV:

“Actually it was Felix who took that pic,” I laughed at her flustered state. Honestly, I love that the picture exists. My first kiss with Y/N. How precious!  

“Wanna go kill them?” asked Y/N, rolling up her sleeves. God she’s so hot when she’s mad, even hotter when she’s mad at other people. 

“Gladly, but first, you never answered my question,” I began, smirking at her once again. 

“What question?” She replied, tilting her head in confusion. 

“Can you prove to me that your ass is actually bigger than mine?” I asked, cocking an eyebrow as I eyed her behind and began to laugh at her further flustered state. She paused before suddenly moving closer to me.

“After I get finished with them,” she muttered, gesturing to our friends in the frat house, “Is when I’ll get started with this.” I yelped from the sudden smack on my butt as Y/N eyed me dangerously, smirking. 

“Oh I can’t wait!”

Epilogue:

Y/N’s POV

Even though I hadn’t had a sip of alcohol, I still woke up hungover the next morning in my bed. I groaned at the slew of notifications that had woken me up from my slumber. I can’t believe that I woke up as the girlfriend of Bang Chan, the frat guy who had a notorious reputation for also being a fuck boy. I blinked a few times as I opened Instagram only to find the picture of me kissing Bang Chan to be the first post I saw. 

@gnabnahc last night was crazyyy 🥶💯😳

Comments: 

@yong.lixx: photo creds? 📸 jk so happy for you man

@i.2.n.8: mommy & daddy 😳

@miniverse.__: lookin gr8 bro 

@jutdwae: Ayyyy bro is hard launching rn!

@hynjinnnn: now this is art

@minho_knows: you’re welcome

@han_jisung: yeah she’s much better with you 🤭

@roses_are_rosie: so the plan worked! 😁

@page.soobin: congrats 🥲

⎿ @bamgyuuuu: it’s ok u tried bro 😤

Ok this was my first ever attempt at writing a stray kids fic! I hope you enjoyed! I had a lot of fun writing this! I know Chan would never be a fuck boy irl but as you can see it would be fun to imagine what that might look like!

#stray kids x reader #bang chan x reader #bang chan x you #bang chan x y/n #stray kids x y/n #stray kids x you #bang chan x female reader #stray kids college au #skz x reader #skz x y/n #bang chan #chan x reader

[from-izzy]

every day is a lovely day... | tbz lee juyeon

pairing » the boyz lee juyeon x gn!reader (lmk if i missed anything)

trope/au » strangers to lovers, non-idol au!, university au!

genre »​ mostly hurt/comfort(...?), mostly fluff, a pinch of angst (i always say this but i'm kinda confident in this statement this time lmao), deep reflection on life and aspects of the earth, juyeon who basically falls in love with you at first sight, juyeon being kinda confident towards reader, picnic date by the beach after finishing you last exam!, comforting boyfriend chef (not actually his occupation) lee juyeon!

word count, estimated reading time » 2249, ~8 mins

warnings (lmk if i missed anything!) » reader didn't sleep well, reader uses caffeine to battle tiredness, the slightest of academic difficulties (it's just a dash imo), deep thoughts of sea and sky life (not an expert in this field at all), mentions of open water/vast landscapes in the thoughts

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 part of 'especially to you...'

i swear that banner changes colour before my very eyes. because i do understand that it's bright and at first glance, you can barely see the water on the bottom right. but when i change tumblr to a lighter mode, stare at fading wind lines near the top of the image for some time, my eyes adjust and the water becomes very obvious. i think it depends on colour context because on dark mode, it's hard for the 'effects' to kick in. is it just me...? it's messing with me...there has got to be a study about this somewhere...😭 anyway!

(i accidentally released this earlier so for those who saw anything: no you didn't!! 😭)

happy birthday to you @littleroaes !! ngl i was gonna give up on this birthday present but then i was scrolling through and found this little wip and tried to modify it to what you like. i was gonna do f2l like you mentioned you like but my brain stopped making ideas for that as soon as i told myself to write about it 😭 so here's my very first short story on strangers to lovers that thankfully you have appreciation for 🫶 from your profile, i read you like fishes, the colour blue, kimbap, spring rolls and of course, lee juyeon!! 😸 so i tried my best to incorporate these prompts here. i tried something different for the fishes 🐟 topic but i hope this incorporation is fine 💙

here is your boyfriend that will get you through uni! hope you have the happiest birthday!! 🎂🎉 love you!! mwah!!

Everything changed for you when Juyeon walked into your life.

No, literally.

Well, maybe not…literally.

You remember the prominent eyebags you’ve carried for the last month since university started. The new semester has weighed you heavier than the headache that is arising from the lack of sleep and the missed attempt to get your daily caffeine content since you slept through your alarm. At the very least, you’re thankful that everything is now electronic because you are so unprepared to be commuting to campus with a heavy mind, heart, eyelids and straps on your shoulders that would surely give you a very sore back.

That day started horrendously. You really thought that the alarm was the only thing that the universe threw at you for their entertainment but it was the embarrassing fact that you dozed off during class. Your elbows were propped up too comfortably against the desk and the perfect temperature of the lecture room didn't make it any easier for your natural melatonin to kick in. The next thing you knew, your palms cupped your cheek and there was this loud bang that was accompanied by the sharp pain on your cheekbone when you hit the wooden desk.

Everything is going awesome and you just attracted around a hundred students back to you. Thankfully your lecturer didn't take it to offense and shot you an emphatic smile.

You guessed then after that the universe felt bad for the negative attention that you got and they canceled the next class on your filled weekly schedule. Usually, you would be annoyed at the sudden change but this gave you a little hour to bask in the sun, the open green space and your favourite cup of beverage wrapped protectively by your hands.

Only to find out that you left your wallet at home.

“I’m sorry,” you said to the worker who tried her best to reassure you and to take your time as your frantic fingers ran through the items in your bag.

Your knees fell to the ground and sweat started to creep against your forehead and to the side of your head, a silent reminder to be mindful of the long line of students who are mostly probably just as stressed as you are in their university journey. The lighting above you helped with your sight in your receipt-filled bag but suddenly, the long papers with their minuscule printings became hard to read and a deep voice stated his order.

At first, your instinct was to defend yourself, tell the person who cut in line and added an order between you and your caffeine to wait a little bit longer but his choice of words registered into you before you could voice out anytime.

“I'll add an iced Americano with the order, please.” And then the familiar beeping sound of a successful transaction rings.

Your neck cranes up towards the stranger that only made your day easier and you couldn't help but let out a gentle gasp. A sharp pair of eyes yet soft and curious like a cat, his perfectly shaped nose and the slight upturn of the corner of his lips with the smile that beams down on you. 

The chain necklace around his neck dangles above you and you were sure it hypnotised you to say, “It's an angel.” These were your first words to Lee Juyeon.

“Ah,” the recipient of the compliment could only blush first at your words, a hand sneaking up to mindlessly scratch his nape. “We should at least get out of the line.” 

Now it's your turn to have your cheeks heat up at the realisation that you're blocking everyone else’s caffeine intake.

You thought that maybe Juyeon would just walk away and wait for you to join him on the other side of the table with the hanging ‘Pick up orders here' sign hanging from the beige ceiling. Yet, he crouched and helped you sort out your materials, collecting your pencil case and books into one arm, the other swiftly scooping up the straps of your bag along his other forearm.

Your eyes couldn't help but widen at your empty hands, and you were flustered at how he was still holding onto your things even when the customer who stood behind him joined you both after paying. Juyeon’s bangs shook when he refused to give your things back, insisting that you should be the one to carry the coffee instead. 

“Coffee is important.” He convinces you with that warm smile of his. “Don't drop it!”

With the promise to pay him back for another cup, came a few promises to help with common subjects and overlapping knowledge. And with time, came the fluttering feeling in both your hearts that only grew when you comforted each other in the long nights leading to assignments and exam periods that came all too quickly but passed by excruciatingly slow.

Juyeon made it all worth it though. You walked out of the last two-hour prison of the semester to be greeted with your usual reward packed in a paper bag. If it was anyone else but Juyeon, the contents of the bag would be mushed as you hug it close to you but it's the person that you have missed so much that gets your love first.

“You called me last night, bubs,” Hearing his voice not through the help of technology is more refreshing and you couldn't help but tighten your hold around his figure. 

“Every day is missing Juyeon day.” 

“Well for me, every day is a happy day when you're in my life.”

It's a line that he has said to you many times even before he started dating you. Juyeon tried to make the line more interesting each time but one day, mixed with his tiredness and excitedness of finally seeing you, it became the line that revealed his adoration for you.

Hand in hand, Juyeon's thumb caressing the back of your palm, your right arm closely stuck to his left, you both sway and skip to the nearby beach to relish in each other’s company with nature. The light salty breeze scent hits you before you can even see the gigantic natural blue space that seems endless and seamless with the blue sky. As your outfit becomes one with the direction of the wind and the sun is still bright enough for you to know even when your orbs are hidden beneath your eyelids. It’s the little moments like these that the Earth seems to be so rich in beauty and life becomes beautiful although you’ve been studying endlessly for the past three months. 

You couldn’t help but let your mind wander to the body of water that eventually begins to seep into your view as you walk up the small hill. You imagine the school of fish including the friendly dolphins to the misunderstood sharks and all the shapes and sizes of the life forms in there, some dependent on their family whilst some choosing to live alone. 

That’s why you’ve always been so enamoured by the living, along with the sea plants that they harmoniously live with. 

You wonder what kind of thoughts these creatures have as they live in a world much bigger than the land you stand on and if they ever want to explore the whole ocean like most people would love to see the landmarks scattered across the world. If they visit the landmarks of the ocean, would they even remember it? Or would they just swim away, finding it more than satisfactory with the fact that they’re free, especially those who swish through the water with company?

Same with life in the sky, do they ever get tired from flying? Like some people who are scared of a large body of water but are already mid-journey, how do they persevere in their flight and keep going? Do they sometimes look at human transportation and hope that they could bask in that luxury as well? Sleep in the moving vehicle and relax your tense muscles against the cushioned interiors even if it’s just for ten minutes. You want to know the answer to that and maybe, you’ll be able to learn something from the other life form.

You wish sometimes you would be one of them but it’s hard to say so as well because all forms of life experience different hardships and it’s impossible to generalise anything, nor is it truly fair to say one has it better than the other.

That’s when life becomes so complex and beautiful. The fact that you’re so small in the context of the horizon that stretched too far for you to see and comprehend, leaves you appreciating the small things in life.

For you, the arms encircling your middle remind you that no matter what hardships you face, you’ll be able to safely fall back onto someone. That you can freely cry without judgement and that life is lovely whenever he’s in it. Juyeon steals a kiss from your lips before placing another one on your cheek. Your eyelashes flutter open and you swear that Juyeon’s smile is brighter than the sun that smiles down on you both and louder than the crashing waves against the eroding rocks.

And whenever he asks you, “Feeling better?” You know that Lee Juyeon is the one person that you can answer the question truthfully and genuinely.

You both settled with a picnic blanket underneath a substantial amount of coverage from the sun by the park near the beach, the crashing ocean waves still in sight. You observe the tree above you dancing freely in the winds while the birds seem to sing for both of your accomplishments. 

When you look back down by the cue of a single, proud hand clap, you're greeted with numerous small glass containers clinking next to each other. The colours from the neatly presented food only lifted your energy further and your boyfriend’s orbs glimmered more with the help of the sun that still peaks through from the leaves above.

Juyeon complied when you asked him for a bite of his homemade kimbap and spring rolls. The flavours instantly make you nod. “I refuse to believe that your mum didn't make this.” 

Your boyfriend’s smile flattened, dipping further into a frown, “She helped but I did all the cooking and rolling!” 

“Okay, you cute clingy baby.” Leaning in to press a quick kiss against his pouting lips. “I’m just joking around with you.” 

To Juyeon, the peck is way more than just unsatisfactory and his thoughts about it are clearly reflected first from his eyes. Then, his hand landed next to the food box on his far left and made a sweeping motion on the cotton blanket to the right, pushing all of the obstacles between you and him. His knees slide his body closer to you that was once on the other side, and now with your boyfriend only looking at you with the softest, loving gaze between his overgrown bangs, you couldn’t help but purse your lips momentarily. You couldn’t let out a question or comment but that changed in the blink of an eye when leaned in Juyeon, replacing your growing confusion with a muffled chuckle instead.

A soft groan vibrates to your lips, Juyeon complaining about how there was nothing to laugh about—not when his soft lips are between yours. A palm made its way around the back of your neck, pulling your still extensive smile against his more serious ones. Eventually, with the way that Juyeon poured his love into you, you’re determined to do the same to the only person who would only let you claim his lips. A part of his blue and white sweater is now captured in your fist but it did nothing to your heartbeat which starts to pick up whenever Juyeon pulls away to adjust his lip’s position on yours. 

The subtle nose nudges only served your fingers to trail up his arm that held you close, tracing along the vein that started near his elbows and ran his wrist near your pulse on the side of your neck. Now, with the way that your thumb brushes softly on his soft skin, Juyeon could melt further into you, leaning in further to deepen his presence to you. Whenever he pulled back, you would be the one chasing after him pulling on his sweater, wanting to indulge in his loving space even more.

“Who’s the clingy one now?” That lands him a shy hit to his chest that only made him let out a weightless chuckle in the air. “The love of my life and the only one for me,” he whispers sweet nothings as your foreheads kiss each other, a sweet gaze grazing upon your facial features. “I love you, bubs.”

So maybe you weren't hypnotised at all that day. Maybe, the universe didn't hate you after all. Maybe, this was all meant to happen even though you did go through some stress when the sequential events happened.

“I love you more.”

But at least, the universe gave you a free coffee.

Two, you really did meet an angel named Lee Juyeon.

And three, just like how he holds the day when you confess to him that you love him back, you repeat the words that he said to you at the start of all your lovely days, “Every day is a lovely day when you're in my life.”

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 'especially to you...'

tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here or removed!): @deoboyznet 📢❤️ @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️ @kflixnet 📺🍿 @sanaxo-o

#deoboyznet #k-labels #k-films #lee juyeon x reader #lee juyeon fluff #juyeon imagines #lee juyeon imagines #juyeon scenarios #juyeon timestamps #the boyz #tbz #tbz x reader #tbz imagines #the boyz x reader #juyeon x you #juyeon fluff #juyeon fanfic #juyeon the boyz #lee juyeon #juyeon angst #juyeon #the boyz juyeon #tbz juyeon #juyeon x reader #tbz scenarios #lee juyeon angst #🗓️ izzy's scheduled posts!

[olderthannetfic]

fandom social justice history anon here - aaah, thank you, early fandom being dominated by academics definitely connected the dots I was missing, thank you! Yeah, now looking at it with this in mind, it's pretty obvious how the tone of the meta essays from that era, while often snarky or even outraged, definitely sounds more like the tone of people who are used to passionately arguing in a setting that doesn't allow you to just throw whatever ad hominem accusation at your opponent's head. In contrast, tumblr's (and as a result, twitter's and tiktok's) style of fandom drama now reads to me even more blatantly like a catfight between high schoolers who have just recently learned some Big Words they only care to use as ammunition. I've read multiple older fans (including your invaluably informative blog) talking about how tumblr definitely reshaped fandom and brought in a TON of new people, and how slash was far from the "mainstream" of fandom even in the livejournal-ffn.net days, and I'm having a feeling that, for all the imperfections of this first tumblr generation of fans' activism ("let my gays marry" etc etc) the thing that got slash to be "mainstreamed" within fandom the way it currently is, also has to do with this pretty sizeable influx of new fans being mostly teenagers. As in specifically, overwhelmingly teenage girls who were having their first sparks of interest in romance during the height of the "I'm not like other girls" era + everyone shitting on twilight & "girly" musicians, because if you look at the posts from that period, they often contrast being a slash reader with being the slutty partying "other girl" or annoying hipster & at my school too slash kind of spread as a "not like the other girls" alternative to mainstream romance. Yes, not the healthiest attitude either, and it's good we've mostly grown past that, but like I said, there's a good chance that was what buffed up the numbers of slash fans to the point where today people are surprised fandom ever even was hostile to it, and at least in my environment, fandom activism, for all its flaws, was most people's first exposure to any sort of "-rights" activism at all. But (as is probably obvious) I did not experience most of even that era personally (I joined tumblr fandom in 2014). Anyways, excuse the rambling, if you feel like adding anything to confirm or deny my hypothesis, I greatly appreciate it, and I hope you have a nice day/evening!

--

M/M still isn't mainstream in plenty of fandom contexts, just not the ones I hang out in, and "not like the other girls" of the type you describe was already big in the 90s among people who'd heard of fanfic. It's just that fanfic was harder to stumble across overall.

I think the two biggest factors are the changing attitudes towards gayness in mainstream culture in a number of countries and... well... AO3 getting popular.

FFN was the big place in the past, though not for my crowd. Now, AO3 is taking a massive bite out of not only its market share but now, in the last few years, Wattpad's.

When the visible institution around which fanfic revolves puts filtering out het front and center, it sends a strong message that previous fandom platforms did not. You had your m/m-only archives and your f/f-only archives and your places that let you filter for those but that treated het as an unmarked default.

Look at early discussions of AO3. There's an undercurrent there that we all assumed it would be one of a number of archives and that we didn't expect it to get this big.

Nobody could have foreseen the Het-Is-Eternal-Default Wattpad crowd being forced by their own platform's suckitude to come camp on the thing built by slashers. Now, we are the admins and they are the also-tolerated. That never happened before.

The thing that makes people not report gay hand holding as evil porn that must be eradicated is simply AO3 putting its foot down.

Anyone who thinks that virulent slash hate is gone just hasn't looked at other spaces.

This is not about individual fans behaving better: it is about institutional power.

[sixpossumsinatrenchcoat]

Start Again

An In Stars and Time postgame retrospective that revolves around everyone's favorite star. Bigtime "secret ending" spoilers below the cut!!!!!

It’s the oldest story in the book. Evil squirms up from the shadows. A hero rises to quell it. She goes on a journey, gathers allies, gathers strength. The party climbs the tower. They face the villain. They face the villain. They face the villain. They face the villain. They face the villain. They face the villain. They face the villain. They face the villain. They face the villain. They face the villain. They face the villain. They face the villain. They face the villain. They face the villain. They face the villain. They face the villain. They face the villain. They face the villain. They face the villain. They—

[you give up you GIVE UP YOU DON'T WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE]

The most infuriating part is—

Well, no. The most infuriating part is the colossal cosmic insult of your existence. Having to know that there’s some snot-nosed little fetus who can count his deaths on two hands toddling around wearing your face like a party mask. Trying and failing and hiding and lying and grinding your nose in every blinding stupid thing you’ve ever done.

The fact that your pathetic little protege clocks you on their first guess is just the icing on the cake.

(“A gentleperson never tells,” you drawled, when Siffrin asked you who you really were. “Why don’t you take a guess?”

But of course the stupid little freak could never just be normal about something. They only stared, unblinking, drowning you in the black hole of their silence. Galaxies scattered and shattered and bloomed while you waited for an answer.

“Um,” they said at last. “Well. You’re… me, right? You’d have to be.”)

Of course. Of course!! You’d have to be!!!! Who else could be such a pathetic blinding shambles of a total blinding failure of a—

Ha ha!! Ha ha ha!!! Oh, the irony!!! Oh, the theatre of it all!! What else could you do but laugh!!!!!

*

* * *

* * * * *

* * *

*

[you breathe in, and out]

For a few months, it feels like your little family will be together forever. Traveling by foot or covered wagon; fording rivers and cresting mountains and chasing the sun past the horizon… How could anyone tire of this?

But Vaugaurde isn’t frozen anymore. Change is a part of life. So, one by one, they do.

When Mira gets the letter inviting her to consult on the experimental re-org of the House of Dormont’s academic curriculum, Sif hugs her, beaming, and tells her that she’s going to be amazing.

When Odile admits that she needs to pay a visit to her father—(“alone, please; the old bastard wouldn’t know what to do with you kids and all your feelings”)—Sif smiles and nods and scurries off to “rustle up some dinner” before returning, more than six hours later, with an entire glittering midden of freshly caught trout.

They don’t really fall apart until Petra announces that it’s time for Bonnie to enroll in an actual school.

“They’re twelve,” she says fiercely, glaring around the campfire as though anyone had been dumb enough to argue. “Travel is informative, but it won’t give them a sound foundation. They need perspective. Context. Maths. And none of us are qualified. Don’t argue, you already know that it’s true.”

Of course Isabeau is quick to agree—mostly because she’s right, but also because he’d prefer to keep his head attached to his shoulders, thank you very much.

Siffrin, of course, is all smiles. They smile and nod and smile and nod and agree at every turn, always smiling smiling smiling. And then they disappear for six days without leaving a note.

Isa tries not to worry. He even mostly succeeds. Sif gets skittish sometimes, but they always come home in the end.

###

It’s the middle of the night when a very warm body with very cold hands wriggles into Isa’s sleeproll. There’s a slow exhale, the smell of wet stone and warm sugar. Isa’s toes curl in his socks. This is his favorite part.

“Mmh,” he hums gratefully, and then yelps when Siffrin slips their hands under his shirt to warm their icy fingers on his belly.

Sif doesn’t answer right away. They just breathe into his shoulder, shivering. Then: “I don’t want them to go.”

Oh, yeah. “Yeah.”

“I was alone, before,” Sif says quietly. “I guess forever. As long as I remember.” They fall silent for a moment, hesitant. “It was. Worse.”

Isa hooks a knee around them and pulls them in closer. “Missed you so much,” he mumbles.

“Now, or before?”

“Mh… Dunno. Both?” Isa’s past self flashes in his mind, gangly and twitchy and totally ruled by fear. Even half-asleep, he can’t help cringing. “…You wouldn’t have liked me before.”

“I would’ve liked you,” Sif says scornfully.

“I was. Rrrrreally quiet.”

“Are you stupid?”

Pffft. Fair. “Sif?”

“Mh?”

“Do you wanna buy a caravan?”

Sif pulls away just enough to shoot him a baffled stare.

“Like… a storefront.” Isa’s been thinking about it since Sif disappeared. Probably he could do a better job explaining if he wasn’t at least 80% asleep. “For clothes? But. It moves.”

What he means is, Our family lives all over. What if we could too?

Fortunately, Siffrin is a peerless genius and almost-always knows what Isa’s trying to say. “Oh. Yes.”

“Love you so bad,” Isabeau mumbles.

“...Sorry.”

Isa flicks them on the ear.

“(Ow.)”

“M’not sorry,” Isa mutters.

“I know.”

“So don’t be either.”

“Okay.”

“Mrmhhh,” Isa grumbles. “Lying?”

Sif snickers. “Only sort of. Or, I mean—I’ll try.”

“Don’t leave me behind.”

“I won’t.”

“And then I won’t either.”

Siffrin doesn't answer, but he can feel their smile against his shoulder.

###

(When they’re both a little more awake, he walks Sif through the whole pitch.

“See? See?? That way, I could work with artisans all over the continent! I’d been hoping to collaborate with more designers from Ka Bue; they’ve got a totally different aesthetic when it comes to textiles and, and silhouettes, and— And it’s advertising, too! Showcasing my stuff to folks all over Vaugaurde!”

“Hm,” Sif hums, frowning. “Is this just so we can see everyone whenever we want? Without it seeming needy, or… pathetic?”

“Yeah, of course!! What else!!”

Sif’s eye creases fondly. “Yeah. Of course. What else.”)

###

The caravan was a good idea. It’s not just a way to see their family more. It’s a way to see everything. To carry their home around on their backs, like a cozy little snailshell for two. A snail duplex. And besides! Sif has always been Isa’s favorite model.

###

By the time Isabeau is finished making adjustments to the signature set for his new line, the sun’s already set.

Sif frowns down at one long, drapey sleeve. “I don’t know. I feel a little… obvious?”

“I think you mean glamorous!!!”

“Possibly,” Sif concedes. “I think they sort of feel the same.”

Isabeau laughs. “You know—and heads up, ‘cause this might blow your mind—but a lot of people want to be seen.”

“Yeah, right.”

“It’s true!! Some people even want to look cool!! Or rad!!! Or cute!!!”

“Can’t relate.”

“Only ‘cause you look so cool already,” Isa assures them. “So you don’t even hafta think about it. For most people, looking that cute is hard work!!”

“Sounds fake,” Sif sniffs. “But I guess you’d know. You do have an a-cute-ly honed sense for this stuff.”

“Pfffh—HAH!!!! Yeah!!! Yes!!! And—And as soon as I can buy a new sewing kit, you’ll be looking just as sharp! Ehh???”

“I guess that’s something we have in common,” Siffrin snickers. “We could both use some new material.”

Before Isa can come up with a retort, there’s a sharp knock on the caravan’s front window.

The both of them flinch around, surprised. They’re kind of in the middle of nowhere. And it’s already past dark.

Isabeau hesitates. “Umm…”

“We’re closed,” Sif hisses.

“Ohh, I’m not a customer,” the stranger says sunnily. “Not really my style—no offense meant, of course. No, I’m just looking to make some change.”

“Hey, no problem!” Isa’s already leaping into action, slipping out of Sif’s reach so he can pull open the till. He’s never had it in him to turn anyone away. It’s extremely inconvenient, and also one of his best qualities. (Siffrin loves him so much.)

“Wow, that’s sooo~ nice of you,” the stranger purrs. They’re willowy and lean and almost alarmingly good-looking, with laughing eyes and one bone-white braid swinging past their knees. Their long, flowy skirt has been Crafted to shimmer subtly, like sunlight over morning dew; and their cropped shirt is strung across their back with an intricate web of spidery threads. Flecks of seaglass clink from the chains on their shoulders and the rings on their fingers, drawing attention to the criss-cross of vivid burn-scars striping their hands and arms. “I do hope I’m not interrupting. I’d just hate to be an inconvenience.”

“No trouble!” Isa tells them cheerfully. “What are you looking to break? A tenpiece, or—”

A silver coin plinks against the counter.

“Oh,” Isabeau mumbles, a little off-balance. “Uh. I’m not sure we have anything smaller than a halfpiece…”

He glances toward Sif for confirmation—Siffrin forgets a lot of things, but they’re very, very good at keeping track of an inventory. But when he sees the look on their face, he can’t help flinching. Siffrin has gone utterly still. Unmoving. Unblinking. It looks like they’re not even breathing.

“S-Sif?” Isa whispers. Then he blinks and suddenly Sif is already behind him, having flicked across the caravan in such a violent blur of motion that he never even saw them move. (They do that sometimes. But not usually when there’s anyone looking.)

“You,” Sif breathes.

The stranger bats their eyes. “Oh, Stars, I’m sure I don’t know what you mean. Do I, perhaps, bear some resemblance to—”

“Stop that.” Sif has come a long way, but they’re still pretty jumpy about touch. So Isa almost does a spit-take when they vault over the counter and hit the stranger, hard, square on the shoulder. “Why are you doing that? What’s wrong with you? What took you so long???”

Before Isa can step between them, the stranger lets out a tinkling little giggle. “Ohh, Stardust. You were always soooo~ dramatic. It’s been no time at all!”

“Six months!!”

“Barely a blink of an eye!”

“I thought I’d never see you again!!”

“Aww,” the stranger purrs. “Were you, perhaps, worried about me?”

“Yes!! Obviously!!!”

“But of course I wasn’t going to disappear forever. I super duper promised! Besides…” They roll the coin between their fingers and then, in a startling blur of motion, pull another from behind Siffrin’s ear. (Sif’s lucky coin, Isa realizes. The one he helped them Craft to a brooch so they could wear it over their heart.) “We are bonded, after all.”

They have the gall to wink at Isabeau when they say it.

“You’re—huh??” Isa sputters. “What?? Sif???”

Sif looks embarrassed. “That’s… not exactly how I’d put it.”

(So it’s sort-of how they’d put it????)

Of course Isa knows that there are things Sif doesn’t tell him—things that Sif doesn’t tell anyone. But a secret bonded partner is a pretty big thing to leave unsaid. “Um????”

“It’s not romantic,” Sif says, defensive.

The stranger smiles slyly. “It’s a little bit romantic.”

“Hah!” Sif scoffs. “In the—the literary sense, maybe!!”

“Like a beautiful stageplay!”

“A Poterian tragedy.”

“But tragedy is always sooo~ romantic.”

“UM,” Isabeau says, a little too loud. “I—don’t really know what’s happening. Which is fine!! Totally fine!! But it sounds like you guys have some stuff to catch up on, so maybe I should… give you… some space? Do you want space? Should I not give you space?”

“Teehee! Be careful, now! Keep thinking that hard and you’ll sprain something!” The stranger leans across the counter to pat him on the shoulder. “Take a hike, big guy. I’ll take them from here.”

“You can’t talk to him like that,” Siffrin snaps.

“Yeahhh, I’m pretty sure I can.”

Sif shakes their head. “He doesn’t know that you’re—um. You know. So it’s… meaner? I think.”

To Isabeau’s surprise, the stranger actually seems to consider that. “Oh. Hm. I’ll… think about it.”

Sif nods at them before turning to Isa. “But—yes. We do sort of need to talk. And space would maybe help. Sorry. Is it okay?”

“Of course!! I’ll just, um, get out of your hair!!!”

As Isabeau sidesteps past them, Sif catches him by the hand and squeezes. “I really will explain. I just sort of wasn’t sure I was allowed? Or I already would have.”

Isabeau relaxes a little. “Okay. Um. I love you.”

This time, it’s unmistakeable. For just a second, the stranger’s face goes taut with fury.

“Please leave now,” Sif says quickly. “But, um, yes. Talk to you soon.”

###

…There’s a long silence.

Isa doesn’t want to listen in, but there isn't really anywhere to go. It's a moonless night, almost lightless, and this part of the country is crisscrossed with narrow streams of deep, fast-moving water. Isabeau has many talents, but he still can't breathe underwater. And it would be pretty stupid to survive the King only to trip into a river and drown. So he can’t help hearing when the stranger clears their throat.

“I wasn’t avoiding you,” they mutter darkly.

“Okay.”

“I was just planning to make some friends first. And then grind them in your stupid ugly face. No offense.”

“None taken.”

“But it turns out that, in spite of my scintillating wit and ethereal beauty, people find me immensely unlikeable. Me!! Can you even imagine?”

“Yes,” Sif says promptly. They take a moment to think it over before adding, “Easily.”

“Well, there’s no accounting for taste,” the stranger sniffs. “Really, though! I thought hardship was supposed to build character! But it’s almost like countless eons of torment actually made me worse!”

“Um,” Sif says. “Yeah.”

“And then when you still wouldn’t stop bugging me—“

Isabeau chokes on a breath.

Unexpectedly, Sif does, too. “—Wait, what?”

“What do you think?” the stranger demands. “All that wishing, wishing, wishing!! Yanking on my brain all day and night like a needy toddler! I mean, really! Get a hobby or something!“

This time, Isabeau can’t just bite his tongue. “Sif!!” he gasps. “You were doing Wish Craft???”

“I wasn’t!!”

The stranger peers around the caravan to give Isa a judgmental glare. “I thought you were giving us space. Not very honest, are you? Is that a new personality you’re trying on? Being a big sneaky liar? Because, if I can be honest, it doesn’t really suit you.”

Isabeau blanches. “Y-You guys were being really loud!!! And I thought we agreed—“

“It wasn’t Wish Craft!!” Sif cuts in. “I was just— If I saw a shooting star, or a pretty leaf or something, I just… hoped I might see them again! That they’d get to keep their promise, get a chance at something better! That’s all!!”

“Aw, Stardust~~” the stranger coos. “What are you, like, obsessed with me?”

“No!! I just feel horrible about it!! Obviously!!”

“Well! Well… good!! I mean. You did steal my only chance at happiness.”

“I know!!”

“And condemn me to live out my days as the punchline to a really mean-spirited joke.”

“Obviously!!!”

“And you’re literally soooo embarrassing. Can you even imagine? No, really, think about it! Having to watch all the worst mistakes you’ve ever made play out in the third person, over and over and over again?”

“Yes!! I pretty much constantly imagine it!!!!”

“Teehee,” the stranger giggles prettily. “Well! To be honest, I came looking because I wanted to make you feel bad. But it looks like you’re doing a pretty good job of it all on your own! Nice work, Stardust!”

“No it isn’t,” Isa groans. “Sif, we’ve talked about this! Beating yourself up doesn’t help any—“ A beat too late, the neurons finally connect. Stardust, the stranger said. Where has he heard that before? “Waaaiiiit. Wait a second… You’re that star, aren’t you? Loop, right?”

He’s not expecting to see both of them flinch.

“Stop,” Sif blurts out, the word clipped with panic. “That’s not— You don’t know what you’re—”

“Yup!!!!” the stranger says brightly. “Haha!!! That’s me!!!! Everyone’s favorite star!!!!! I’m a person now!!!! Isn’t that just a shocking turn of events!!!!”

“Um. Uh. Yyyy….yes?”

Siffrin turns to the (former) star, looking pained. “That’s— Are you sure? You don’t have to—”

“HA HA HA!!!!!” Loop almost screams. “What a fascinating notion!!! But, just for the sake of argument, consider this counterpoint: eat shit and die!!!!”

“I just don’t think it has to be like this,” Siffrin mutters.

“Well!! You wouldn’t, wouldn’t you!! You don’t have to think about anything!!!! You don’t even need that eye!!! You can just go limp and let everyone lead you by the nose toward the next stupid blinding monument to your achievements!!!!”

Siffrin listens calmly, nodding. Then they ask, “Will you travel with us?”

“Wh-What???” Loop sputters.

“Uhhh,” Isa says. “...What?”

“We’re on our way to pick up Bonnie. And then we’re meeting Odile outside Dormont. Mira’s giving a speech.”

“Okay???” Loop says defensively. “I still don’t see—”

“You said you couldn’t make friends,” Sif explains. “But I don’t think it’s ‘cause w— ‘Cause you’re unlikable. People are just… confusing. Mostly. Our friends are… less hard.”

“B-But,” Loop stammers. “But—even if that was true, the last thing they’d want is another weird little freak hanging off their coattails.”

“They don’t mind,” Sif says firmly. “They keep saying so. And you’re not even little. Why are you taller than me?”

Kind of a weird question, if you ask Isabeau, but the former star just snorts. “Must be all that character I built. Maybe it leant me a little more ~gravitas~.”

They startle violently when Siffrin reaches out and takes their hand.

“Please,” Sif says seriously. “It was so unfair. All of it. But it doesn’t have to be like that forever. Not completely, anyway.”

Loop flicks him off like a spider and flashes a bright, glassy smile. “Ohhh~, Stardust. You really don’t get it, do you? It’s much too late for that sort of thing. I’m already ruined, hehe! I can’t ever go back.”

“So go forward.”

Loop’s pale eyes widen. Seemingly against their will, a nervous giggle slips out of them. “H-Haha… Just like that, huh?”

“Only if you want,” Siffrin shrugs. “But... well. I do.”

###

“…Sif?” Isa mumbles, when they’ve finally turned in for the night. He’s pretty sure he only sounds a little bit pathetic. “Um… how do you know them? And why do you know a star? And why do they look so different?”

Siffrin sighs. “If they’re not telling, I shouldn’t either. But. Um. I guess I can probably say that… we’re from the same country.”

“What!! Really??” 

Sif nods. 

“Like the King???”

Another nod.

“Is everyone from your country some kind of… weird eldritch demigod?”

Siffrin’s face shutters. “I wouldn't know.”

Oof. Yeah. Obviously. Is Isabeau ever going to learn to stop putting his foot in his mouth? “R-Right. Um… duh. Sorry.”

“No, it’s okay,” Sif sighs, softening. “Sorry. I’m just. A little overwhelmed. It’s… a lot to take in.”

That makes sense. Isa feels that way, too, and he only ever met Loop once. “Um. Um… Y-You don’t have to answer right now; I totally get it if you need some time to clear your head, but… I guess I was just wondering… You don’t have any more secret partners, right? I-It’s okay if you do!!! As long as you’re still mine, too. For as long as you want to be, I mean. It’s just… It might be nice to know…”

Sif’s smile softens. They reach up and curl one hand around the back of Isa’s neck, pulling him down till they can bump his forehead with theirs. “Like I said. It’s really not like that. (I don’t think.) But, no. No more. …That I remember.”

It’s not the most reassuring thing that Isa’s ever heard, but he’ll take what he can get.

this story is technically part 3 of a series, but it's more of a triptych than a trilogy! (i.e. all existing chapters stand on their own, but exist as pieces of a larger picture). if you wanna read the rest before i wrap the last chapter, feel free to swing by AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/52448152/chapters/132681694

#isat spoilers #isat loop #isat siffrin #isafrin #isat fanfic

[sasquapossum]

On my mind: why has there been such an increase in adulation and loyalty toward obviously defective people like Trump and Musk? Have people become more gullible than they were when I was younger? Seems unlikely. We internalized all sorts of stupid shit too, but it wasn't so focused on personalities. Then it struck me: the problem is that we've lost faith in institutions and personalities are what's left. Consider...

Politicians: believe it or not, we used to trust that they were at least sane and working generally for some vision of public good, even when we disagreed. Not since Nixon, Reagan, Dubya, etc.

Journalists: we used to trust them to report the facts in a reasonably objective way, even when that isn't necessarily what they were doing. Then came Fox and that all went out the window.

TV/radio media became all about engagement, a form of entertainment, not actual reporting. Now it's all podcasts and TikTok or YouTube, but basically same. There are some who believe one particular favorite speaks the truth, but few who would say these folks in general are trustworthy.

Print media failed in a different way, partly by being partisans for the establishment (e.g. NYT and the Iraq war) but mostly by totally missing the boat on going online. They could have agreed on a single shared subscription or micropayment system, but they each had to be greedy with their own paywalls etc. So their lunch got eaten by social media (who bear their own share of blame for eroding trust), and the press got even more unhinged about it.

Science, engineering, academe: we used to believe promises about new miracle materials, chemicals, drugs, etc. Even before anti-vaccine lunacy became a thing, a long string of disasters - microplastics, DDT, thalidomide - changed that.

Unions: they've experienced a resurgence very recently, but that's almost a "dead cat bounce" after being moribund for decades. Some people would blame Reagan and PATCO. I think the collapse of major union-heavy industries - auto, steel, mining - had more to do with it, but the result was the same.

I could go on - there's a whole other post I could write about the mixed role of churches in this context - but you get the idea. The fact that in many cases there were good reasons to withdraw our trust doesn't change the fact that such a general withdrawal creates a vacuum which we've filled with hero worship instead. That's where people like Musk and Trump come from.

Here's the kicker: it's not an accident. Undermining trust in institutions has been part of the authoritarian playbook since forever. Julius Caesar is the earliest example that most people would be familiar with, hence the silly illustration, but the phenomenon goes back much further than that. Creating that vacuum is central to authoritarian strategy. Remember Reagan's "nine most terrifying words"? Some people think of that as a libertarian statement but, with the so-called Moral Majority and various militia groups (then as now galvanized by immigration) behind him, that misses the mark. It was part of an authoritarian strategy, demeaning the administrative state and permanent civil service (i.e. institutions) in favor of raw executive power (i.e. personalities).

I'm all for unions, co-ops, mutual aid, etc. but they can't stand alone. Never have. Without a government enforcing rules (including against itself), anarchy will always evolve toward autocracy. If you think the role of government should be minimized, then congratulations, you're part of the Reagan Left ... or worse. A red hat with a hammer and sickle on it is still a red hat. You are effectively supporting authoritarianism whether you mean to or not. Also, since there's no significant left-authoritarian element in US politics - no Stalin or Mao and thank FSM for that - that means you're supporting right-authoritarians. You should stop, especially if you're a member of a group that would suffer most under such a regime.

[fairuzfan]

During ancient times there was the kingdoms of Judah and Israel. But according to the Tanakh (Hebrew Bible) there was also the United Kingdom of Israel. BUT the thing is that a lot of ancient history about Jews is written in the Tanakh. And you can never really 100% trust religious books as historical sources. The Tanakh was written on stuff that can actually be preserved. While possible other sources on history of the Jews and other groups were written on things that perished. There is a lot of debate about the extent of the United Kingdom of Israel or that it even existed.

You have two kinds of historians when it comes to the Hebrew Bible:

The maximalists: accept everything unless proven incorrect by outside sources. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biblical_maximalism

The minimalists: Hebrew Bible is limited in historical value. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biblical_minimalism

Thanks so much for these links actually while looking at "biblical minimalism" I recognize some of the authors being cited in some of the works I read. I should check them out.

Also love reading academic beef the way that both groups named each other's "study" but neither operates with those labels lmaooo classic academics.

But also so people don't misunderstand me or try to take me out of context regarding this whole discussion: I also don't think the Quran is a 100% accurate historically, and it's stories are mostly used to educate on certain topics and ideas as it's primary purpose (think of aesop fables when i say this). Of course religiously I believe in the Quran, but most of the Quran is written in poetic verses in arabic and even as a baseline Muslims believe there's more to a quranic translation than just the direct translation. In quranic book history what we focus on a lot is the way books were made throughout history moreso than the actual contents (which religiously, we are not supposed to change at all... I believe the Hebrew Bible also is like that? Would love if someone could tell me more about it tho).

Even with the Birmingham Quran (the oldest quran that has been carbondated to around the time of Prophet Muhammad), i dont think its as important for the text itself (other than comparing contemporary and ancient to see if any changes happened through the few leaflets that survived), the most valuable parts of it is the fact we can carbon date it and see what sorts of materials they used back then and to see when the earliest surviving fragments came from. Plus we can analyze the script and rubrication to see if this was actually used to be read or used as a mnemonic device.

I can't say too much about archeological study more than this and that other post though. That's not exactly my field of interest or expertise. If people want to share more I can't provide much input unless you're talking about book history LOL.

But yeah just wanted to clarify so people don't assume bad faith/try to use my words to push their own agendas. In general historical studies should separate themselves from religion I feel if they go beyond analyzing societies the time in which the books/material were made or written.

Also here's a direct link to Birmingham Quran if the above one doesn't link:

#palestine #history

[chronicbitchsyndrome]

i feel like before you complain about how "former gifted kids are always acting like they're oppressed because everyone doesn't treat them like they're special anymore," i think you should probably try to understand the common timeline that a kid getting funneled into the gifted program follows.

usually, a child starts getting funneled into gifted tracks around preschool-to-kindergarten. typically, what will happen is a kid will show socially unusual interest in and affinity for a basic life skill that also happens to be taught in school--usually either verbality, reading/writing, understanding and manipulating shapes, or basic numerical concepts, or some combination of the above. they might start talking fairly early, for example, or start reading complete sentences earlier than their peers, or show a lot of unusual interest in basic arithmetic. they might get IQ tested, they might not; this is pretty irrelevant because IQ both has almost no correlation with any measure of "intelligence" other than the IQ test itself, and is an extremely poor predictor of academic success.

based on this, the parents are encouraged to push this child into academic settings earlier and at a faster pace than their peers. once in grade school, they'll be funneled into the gifted track. often, they'll have to "test in" to the gifted track, but they tend to weight what the kid is showing an affinity for the most when "testing in." what the gifted track looks like is different for every school, but generally the common factors are more work, assigned at a faster pace, and dealing with concepts that their "typical" peers are not taught until a year or more later.

this is where the most common timeline becomes important, and diverges from what i think a lot of people's perceptions of gifted kids are. the kid fails. the kid does not have some kind of magical universal affinity for every aspect of academia. in fact, the kid has, in the context of their neurotypical peers setting the standard by which they have to live up to, significant deficits in areas other than the one they showed interest in at a young age. for example, maybe they started reading incredibly early, but once they get to grade school, they start failing every math test. they write numbers backwards and copy them from the board in the wrong order. they get basic arithmetic wrong.

here's the thing: the gifted kid program accidentally self-selects for developmentally disabled children with academic splinter skills. splinter skills are incredibly common in people with developmental disabilities; frequently, they don't get perceived as such because they're very often completely nonacademic (and may not be perceived as a "skill" at all, particularly in the context of more profound developmental disabilities--someone learning to use AAC very quickly, for example, is still perceived as a deficit no matter how quickly they do it, instead of a skill in developing communication methods with significantly less support and interaction than those who learn to communicate verbally). developmentally disabled people with academic splinter skills are significantly more common than abled people with an uncommon affinity for all areas of academia, or abled people with splinter skills.

once a kid starts failing, generally the timeline splits off into two possibilities, mostly dependent on how supportive their parents are, how well-funded their school is, and what psychiatric resources are available in their area of the country. option one is that they just keep failing, and get punished more and more violently over time for their perceived "stubbornness." they are perceived as obviously capable of doing the work the gifted program is assigning them, since they were tracked into the gifted program to begin with, and their grades in this other specific subject are stellar, so obviously they're just lazy and need to be whipped into shape via punishment.

the other option is that the kid's developmental disability is clocked by a teacher or counselor, or even their parents, and enough strings are pulled to get them evaluated by a school psychologist. then, they'll get dual-tracked into the gifted program and the special ed program, with classes divided along where their splinter skills and deficits lie. the special ed program is not actually a good place for disabled children and is incredibly traumatizing to be in.

either way, they come out of school with a significant amount of trauma. legitimate trauma. from being a disabled person in the public education system, which fucking sucks and is an awful experience i wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

[connoisseursdecomfort]

First of all, I don’t agree with shinybluebirdwizard on that. I don’t think it’s good to ask which parent a child loves more, and I don’t think this needs to be discussed. You can’t quantify love, and people have different love languages. 

------Manga spoilers in this post------

Yor and Loid are very different in their parenting styles, and therefore it’s only normal that Anya respond to them very differently.

The fact is, shinybluebirdwizard themselves have stated how Yor is the stricter parent. In one of their posts, they pointed out that Yor would urge Anya to welcome Loid home properly (ch.67.2) and to eat all of her veggies (ch. 76). Yor is the one who really disciplines Anya.

Loid has always been “for the mission”. He’s strict when it comes to Anya’s academic performance. But it’s also quite evident that Anya plays him like a fiddle. Loid has mostly said yes to Anya. Unless she’s asking for a silenced pistol or a castle, then he might have to check if they are available.

Most recently, Twilight would even bring her to a meeting with the Handler just because she REALLY wants to play.

The fact is Anya would do this in front of Loid, but not really in front of Yor.

Because it’s stated right from the start: Yor is the scarier parent. 

At first she’s only scary because she is too strong and could break Anya’s ribs. She hasn’t, although shinybluebirdwizard did try to joke about why Anya doesn’t like Yor’s hugs as much in that certain post. But later, it’s also revealed that she’s also strict. 

I’m not shinybluebirdwizard - Judging from their previous posts, I could only guess being the scarier parent could be one of the reasons why they think Anya loves Loid more. But does that mean Yor’s not as good? Or does it mean that Yor is in fact the better parent?

That brings us back to what the question was. Anon asked shinybluebirdwizard who they think Anya loves more. I disagree with shinybluebirdwizard on this one, because it’s normal for children to behave better in front of the stricter parent. shinybluebirdwizard made another post about Anya being a daddy’s girl, and how she behaves differently in front of Loid and Yor. In that sense, it only means that Anya loves her parents in a different way, according to their different parenting styles. It doesn’t mean that Anya loves Loid more.

I think it’s important to recognise that the question was never about who is the better parent, because I’ve noticed people on Twitter or Tumblr are talking about how they don’t like shinybluebirdwizard reducing Yor’s role. Once again, the question is if Anya loves Loid or Yor more. Anon was not asking if shinybluebirdwizard thinks Loid or Yor is the better parent. Anon was not even asking if Anya thinks Loid or Yor is the better parent.

“Imagining how Anya feels about her parents” ≠ “how the blogger actually feels about Loid and Yor”

And therefore: “Saying Anya loves Loid more” ≠ “Loid > Yor”

Again, I don’t agree with them. I have already explained why I don’t like the original question. But if you attempt to answer this question, you would have to first imagine yourself as Anya. 

What (or how) does Anya think?

Anya is a four-year-old peanuts gremlin. In case you can’t tell that I don’t really mean that Anya is a menace - because obviously people could have screenshot it and put it on Twitter, taking my words completely out of context - I mean it in a loving way.

Sure, Anya has given her parents 100 points.

On the other hand, this is also Anya, telling her parents that she hates them and is running away.

Usually, four-year-olds just spurt out what they feel at the moment. If one day Loid and Yor decide that Anya is having too many peanuts and limit her peanut intakes, while Bond is willing to steal peanuts for her, I’d say Anya would think Bond is better than Loid AND Yor combined. Maybe until Loid makes her Hamburg steaks and Yor makes her hot cocoa.

Does that mean I’m reducing Loid’s and Yor’s roles? Does that mean that Bond is the best thing that has ever happened to Anya? Of course not. Anya can love Loid or Yor more for childish af reasons at a very specific moment. It’s also just how shinybluebirdwizard interprets Anya as a character. It’s not really about Yor, or Loid. It’s about Anya.

The thing is Anya doesn’t know what to expect from her parents.

Anya’s characterisation is not discussed much in the fandom, mostly because she’s smol. However, Endo did work on it. We’ve seen how Anya is slowly realising the importance of studying. We’ve also seen how people have been telling Anya that she should not make her parents worry in both the doggy crisis arc and the cruise arc.

Many have stated that they believe Twilight could leave the family immediately in ch. 84 if WISE orders him to do so. I honestly don’t know. What I do know is, Anya also doesn’t know. Anya’s expectation has been that the family could stay together if the mission is a success. The family would have to break up if the mission fails.

So we see this baby trying her absolute hardest to keep everyone’s secrets safe so she can keep her family together. This is pretty much her only expectation.

On the other hand, she doesn’t really know what to expect from her parents.

Damian had low expectations, but he’s still visibly upset that his parents didn’t come. Anya, on the other hand, had to keep herself optimistic and cheerful. She’s even excited just because she had a chance to ride on a police car.

You can’t tell who’s the better parent even if you ask Anya, because A. again, she’s smol; and B. she honestly doesn’t know what parents should do.

That is heartbreaking to see how much Anya is willing to do for her parents. She’s always trying to help, and she would even wait to confirm if her parents are okay before sneaking back to where she’s supposed to be.

I know people are angry at Loid because he’s emotionally constipated, but we will have to understand why Anya’s happy just because Loid’s there. Like father, like daughter. They are basically doing the exact same thing.

Anya and Loid are very similar in these panels. That doesn’t mean that Anya loves Yor less because they are less similar in expressing their feelings in these panels. On the contrary, this is why Yor IS important. Anya and Loid are keeping so many secrets, and that have affected their abilities to express their love/emotions. They need Yor because Yor is the only one who could freely express her feelings, despite also having her own secrets. She is the only one who knows what being a family should be like (compared to Anya and Loid, because Yuri is weird af).

I know it’s too late to state the following because shinybluebirdwizard has already deactivated their account. I hope they would come back with a new account because I’m maybe 2 days old finding out that deactivated Tumblr accounts can’t be reactivated.

Now it is totally okay if you disagree with me on this particular post, or how I interpret the story and the characters. You don’t need to agree with me on my opinion - I think shinybluebirdwizard is just joking when they’re making the post, and it’s not that serious. You can be unhappy that they are being unserious and unfunny. I’ve included links of their posts and hopefully they’d give you contexts - you can totally think they are bullshitting in those posts as well.

To give you more context, shinybluebirdwizard is a twiyor fan. I have reposted quite a lot of their posts in which they state that Twiyor is a good team, especially when it comes to parenting. I understand that some thought they’ve disrespected Yor, and it’s totally normal to be unhappy about it. Again, shinybluebirdwizard is quite unserious in the post, and I can see why people are not particularly happy with them listing silly reasons. But to be fair, shinybluebirdwizard has also made posts about how Yor is a good character and a good person.

Again, you don’t need to know everything to make a discussion. I definitely haven’t read all shinybluebirdwizard’s posts, because they’d make several new posts every day.

I also have the urge to facepalm every time I see someone trying to say they’re badmouthing Yor because they are Loid’s fan. Let’s be honest, they kinda shitted on (/s, because I finally understand someone really can’t tell) every character, including and especially Loid. The thing is everyone in this story is somehow flawed. That’s what makes them good characters, and that’s why we love them, but that also gives people different reasons to criticise all characters.

It’s fine to have disagreements.

I’m disappointed because how horrible people could be to another person just because they don’t agree on one (1) thing. Some had to dial it up to eleven because of one post, or maybe worse, some screenshots.

I’m also disappointed because some people made this post an opportunity to turn Loid’s fans and Yor’s fans against each other. It’s not like I don’t understand that there are extreme fans who would attack on every single character other than their most beloved. I’m just saying that people are capable of liking both.

Every one has the right to have the discussion and share their opinions. Please. Do it respectfully.

#spy x family #sxf #spyxfamily #shinybluebirdwizard #anya forger #loid forger #yor forger

[ohsalome]

No one would call an artist from India “British” or an artist from Peru “Spanish,” so why do museums continue to label Ukrainian artists as “Russian”?

The misnomer issue is nothing new. Researchers and curators from Ukraine have been contacting institutions like the Museum of Modern Art (MoMA) and Centre Pompidou for years to ask them to acknowledge the Ukrainian descent of some of the artists in their Russian collection. These requests were mostly ignored before the full-scale Russian invasion of Ukraine in February 2022.

Ukrainian culture (and any other post-Soviet/post-Russian Empire oppressed culture, for that matter) is successfully erased from global art history. And virtually every museum collection is an example of this erasure. Ukrainian art historian Oksana Semenik, who is now studying at Rutgers University, provides more proof of that. As an assistant curator at the Zimmerli, the biggest collection of Soviet non-conformist art in the US, Semenik examined the museum archive to find out that out of 900 artists labeled  “Russian,” 71 were Ukrainians, and 80 were artists of other nationalities like Belarusian, Latvian, Lithuanian, etc. “About 15% of the ‘Russian’ collection is misidentified. But when I asked if this could be changed, the response was: The identity question is not relevant these days,” Semenik said.

If this question is irrelevant, then why does “Russian” remain? “Some curators told me that using Ukraine in the caption is incorrect since there was no such country at that time,” Semenik continued. She also checked the online archive of the Smithsonian Institution and found 42 Ukrainian artists labeled “born Kharkov, Russia” or “born Odessa, Russia,” among other examples. In fact, a country called “Russia” did not exist before 1991, either. But the problem is bigger here — attributing Ukrainian cities to Russia, especially in the current context, rings like blatant Kremlin propaganda.

To be unable to recognize the difference between the Russian Empire, the Soviet Union, and the Russian Federation or Russia is a shameful mistake for institutions whose archives are used as credible academic sources. “It’s tough to acknowledge that the history Western art historians were learning for years, all those tons of books about Malevych and the Russian avant-garde, were part of the Russian propaganda,” Semenik added.

#ukraine #russia #art #russian culture #russian art #ukrainian culture #ukrainian art #cultural appropriation #decolonisation #colonialism

[literary-illuminati]

2024 Book Review #4 – War in Human Civilization by Azar Gat

This is my first big history book of the year, and one I’ve been rather looking forward to getting to for some time now. Its claimed subject matter – the whole scope of war and violent conflict across the history of humanity – is ambitious enough to be intriguing, and it was cited and recommended by Bret Devereaux, whose writing I’m generally a huge fan of. Of course, he recommended The Bright Ages too, and that was one of my worst reads of last year – apparently something I should have learned my lesson from. This is, bluntly, not a good book – the first half is bad but at least interesting, while the remainder is only really worth reading as a time capsule of early 2000s academic writing and hegemonic politics.

The book purports to be a survey of warfare from the evolution of homo sapiens sapiens through to the (then) present, drawing together studies from several different fields to draw new conclusions and a novel synthesis that none of the authors being drawn from had ever had the context to see – which in retrospect really should have been a big enough collection of dramatically waving red flags to make me put it down then and there. It starts with a lengthy consideration of conflict in humanity’s ‘evolutionary state of nature’ – the long myriads between the evolution of the modern species and the neolithic revolution – which he holds is the environment where the habits, drives and instincts of ‘human nature’ were set and have yet to significantly diverge from. He does this by comparing conflict in other social megafauna (mostly but not entirely primates), archaeology, and analogizing from the anthropological accounts we have of fairly isolated/’untainted’ hunter gatherers in the historical record.

From there, he goes on through the different stages of human development – he takes a bit of pain at one point to disavow believing in ‘stagism’ or modernization theory, but then he discusses things entirely in terms of ‘relative time’ and makes the idea that Haida in 17th century PNW North America are pretty much comparable to pre-agriculture inhabitants of Mesopotamia, so I’m not entirely sure what he’s actually trying to disavow – and how warfare evolved in each. His central thesis is that the fundamental causes of war are essentially the same as they were for hunter-gatherer bands on the savanna, only appearing to have changed because of how they have been warped and filtered by cultural and technological evolution. This is followed with a lengthy discussion of the 19th and 20th centuries that mostly boils down to trying to defend that contention and to argue that, contrary to what the world wars would have you believe, modernity is in fact significantly more peaceful than any epoch to precede it. The book then concludes with a discussion of terrorism and WMDs that mostly serves to remind you it was written right after 9/11.

So, lets start with the good. The book’s discussion of rates of violence in the random grab-bag of premodern societies used as case studies and the archaeological evidence gathered makes a very convincing case that murder and war are hardly specific ills of civilization, and that per capita feuds and raids in non-state societies were as- or more- deadly than interstate warfare averaged out over similar periods of time (though Gat gets clumsy and takes the point rather too far at times). The description of different systems of warfare that ten to reoccur across history in similar social and technological conditions is likewise very interesting and analytically useful, even if you’re skeptical of his causal explanations for why.

If you’re interested in academic inside baseball, a fairly large chunk of the book is also just shadowboxing against unnamed interlocutors and advancing bold positions like ‘engaging in warfare can absolutely be a rational choice that does you and yours significant good, for example Genghis Khan-’, an argument which there are apparently people on the other side of.

Of course all that value requires taking Gat at his word, which leads to the book’s largest and most overwhelming problem – he’s sloppy. Reading through the book, you notice all manner of little incidental facts he’s gotten wrong or oversimplified to the point where it’s basically the same thing – my favourites are listing early modern Poland as a coherent national state, and characterizing US interventions in early 20th century Central America as attempts to impose democracy. To a degree, this is probably inevitable in a book with such a massive subject matter, but the number I (a total amateur with an undergraduate education) noticed on a casual read - and more damningly the fact that every one of them made things easier or simpler for him to fit within his thesis - means that I really can’t be sure how much to trust anything he writes.

I mentioned above that I got this off a recommendation from Bret Devereaux’s blog. Specifically, I got it from his series on the ‘Fremen Mirage’ – his term for the enduring cultural trope about the military supremacy of hard, deprived and abusive societies. Which honestly makes it really funny that this entire book indulges in that very same trope continuously. There are whole chapters devoted to thesis that ‘primitive’ and ‘barbarian’ societies possess superior military ferocity and fighting spirit to more civilized and ‘domesticated’ ones, and how this is one of the great engines of history up to the turn of the modern age. It’s not even argued for, really, just taken as a given and then used to expand on his general theories.

Speaking of – it is absolutely core to the book’s thesis that war (and interpersonal violence generally) are driven by (fundamentally) either material or reproductive concerns. ‘Reproductive’ here meaning ‘allowing men to secure access to women’, with an accompanying chapter-length aside about how war is a (possibly the most) fundamentally male activity, and any female contributions to it across the span of history are so marginal as to not require explanation or analysis in his comprehensive survey. Women thus appear purely as objects – things to be fought over and fucked – with the closest to any individual or collective agency on their part shown is a consideration that maybe the sexual revolution made western society less violent because it gave young men a way to get laid besides marriage or rape.

Speaking of – as the book moves forward in time, it goes from being deeply flawed but interesting to just, total dreck (though this also might just me being a bit more familiar with what Gat’s talking about in these sections). Given the Orientalism that just about suffuses the book it’s not, exactly, surprising that Gat takes so much more care to characterize the Soviet Union as especially brutal and inhumane that he does Nazi Germany but it is, at least, interesting. And even the section of World War 2 is more worthwhile than the chapters on decolonization and democratic peace theory that follow it.

Fundamentally this is just a book better consumed secondhand, I think – there are some interesting points, but they do not come anywhere near justifying slogging through the whole thing.

#book review #history #war in human civilization #azar gat

[transrevolutions]

@rex-and-regina

1) marat did not encourage "murder of innocent civilians" in l'ami du peuple. while he did sometimes use violent rhetoric (like in the "five hundred heads" quote that people love to throw around with no context), that was pretty much the norm for political journals at the time. they were sensational and emotional and dramatic and hyperbolic. that was pretty much the stylistic standard. if you compare marat's paper with, say, hebert's or even desmoulins's, you'll find he's actually pretty academic and straightforward for the era.

2) if you try to counter my first point with "but the september massacres", you need to know that marat was not directly responsible for those either. the narrative that he caused it stems from the fact that he put out an issue of his paper a little while before the massacres that said some stuff about taking up arms to defend the homeland from conspirators and traitors, etc. etc. except, y'know, a bunch of people were saying stuff like that in their papers (see above). it's true that he didn't explicitly condemn the massacres, but nobody in the government really wanted to talk about it because of how messy of a situation it was. someone else even said something like "we will draw the curtain over this event and leave its judgement to posterity".

3) robespierre.... did not cause the "reign of terror". in fact they did not even call it the reign of terror at the time (historians came up with that later). actually, if we want to get pedantic, the term terreur had a very different connotation in the 18th century than it does now, but I digress. robespierre was the subject of a massive smear campaign when his coworkers realized they couldn't make him shut up about various crimes that they were involved in and killed him to keep him from airing out their dirty laundry. they also killed a bunch of his political allies because they couldn't have them exonerating him, could they? look it up it's actually wild. so they blamed him for all the issues that the government had, even the ones he was trying to fix (he opposed the shitshow in lyons and nantes, cautioned against needless bloodshed, abhorred the practice of treating executions as a spectacle). also he didn't actually have nearly as much power as people seem to think now. he was a member of the national convention (the french republic's elected legislative body), and a member of the committee of public safety (a council elected from members of the convention to deal with the escalating war situation and some other stuff). he was not the leader of the CSP (which did not have a leader) or the convention (which had a presidency that was mostly ceremonial and worked on a rotating basis). he also never sentenced anyone to death because it was the tribunals that did that, not the convention or CSP.

4) the time period that is generally considered the "reign of terror" (as flawed a concept as that is) is usually placed after the assassination of marat. because a big reason for the paranoia that led to the escalation of security measures was the fact that marat was killed. marat was seen as kind of unkillable by the people of paris (won his own political show trial, etc.) so if you could kill marat, you could kill anyone. so it's kind of hard to say what marat would've supported or not supported after he died, especially since his death itself heavily influenced the next stage of the revolution.

5) charlotte corday wasn't even a monarchist. she was aligned with the girondins, who were moderate republicans in favor of the free market. she didn't like marat because marat was calling the girondins corrupt in his newspaper after a prominent girondin official turned traitor and deserted to the austrians (whom france was at war with). not entirely sure what she thought she would accomplish with this, because a great way to make your political faction seem really corrupt is to brutally murder a guy for criticizing it.

6) a bunch of people actually tried to stop marat through various means, legal and illegal. namely lafayette and brissot and capet and barbaroux and necker and... you get the picture. charlotte corday was just the one that succeeded.

a final point: why do you criticize marat for "encouraging" (but never committing) murder while you simultaneously praise corday for committing a literal actual murder? only one of the three people (marat, robespierre, corday) you mentioned actually killed anybody, and it wasn't marat or robespierre.

#discourse #marat #french revolution #frev #robespierre #I do not have the energy for this