#and more often than not ppl are just talking about it bc theyre annoyed

[phantomdecibel]

How do people hunt in your world?

HELL YEAH TIME TO RAMBLE ABOUT WORLDBUILDING-!!!

Prepare yourself for a bunch of information you did not ask for :D!!!!!

Lovely question thank you very much, and very open tho so im just gonna focus on hunting in the Deadzone, since that’s the area in the wcbwe universe that I post about the most :)

…yknow. Im not sure I ever made it really clear so: the Deadzone, with all the oily, acidic water and whatnot, is only a small, small part of the universe. It’s very isolated, so all sorts of wild things go on there :p the rest of the world has normal water. I’m just focusing on developing one part at a time!

Before I really jump into this I’d like to say that the stories I’m writing inside this universe take place over a number of years, like thousands bc immortal ppl exist, so I’m gonna mostly talk about hunting and agriculture around the time that the first instalment of the story ‘Im writing starts (not that that really matters I’m just enjoying rambling lol). So: one-to-two thousand years before the people here started counting the years

oh also bear in mind that at this stage im just making shit up if u want like science behind the shit im making up ur gonna have to get it elsewhere /j :p

Okay so on to the question! How does hunting work in the Deadzone?

There’re a couple things that really shape how things like that work here; the general lack of wood, scarcity of easily accessible drinkable water, the water that can literally melt your skin off, and the fact that open flame here is a Bad Idea (sorry arson mutuals) – but that’s a whole other thing I’m not gonna get into rn lmao

Although – the whole acid rain thing isn’t as big of a problem bc most resources have evolved to be resistant to it, and the people and animals have learned to deal

SO with the dangerous weather/environment, a really popular hunting technique is the use of snares, and herding things into them. They’re reusable, so you get to worry less about the use of resources, you can set them and wait somewhere safe and don’t have to worry about getting caught out in the rain or sandstorms, and assuming you’re setting your traps in an area you know, you don’t have to worry as much about getting lost when visibility is low! Not to mention that setting a trap is less strenuous than than a lot of other forms of hunting, so you need less water, which is a coveted resource, especially at this point in time

Guns don’t exist yet, but if they did, they’d be pretty popular too – and will be when they finally do. I have no clue at what point in time firearms became a thing, but the Deadzone is incredibly isolated anyways, so I can do whatever I want anyways uwu. As it is, archery is definatly a thing instead! Bows and crossbows both are used in hunting, effective long-range weapons :)

Close-range weapons like knives and swords and whatnot do exist and are used, but they’re more so better suited against larger predators, like the murder birb cats. There are these large bug-coyote things I don’t have a solid design for (nightcrawlers; theyre nocturnal. Im so original I know /j) that are really annoying to shoot at. Most people try their best to avoid them and no one’s really out at night – its also really cold so its no big loss – but when people are out at night, you’re gonna want a sword or something. Nightcrawlers are edible, under their tough exoskeleton, but also really dangerous to the people of the Deadzone, so they’re not often hunted for food, more so just to cull their numbers and the fact that they’re edible is just a plus

The murder birb cats are ambush predators mostly, like I mentioned in my other post, and good at avoiding traps – or worse, turning them against the hunter. So they’re rarely hunted specifically (if someone has a chance to kill one though they wil definitely take it), but their eggs are often poached for both food and to get rid of as many threats to a village as possible.

Most animals are pretty difficult to actively… uh. I cant remember the word? Corral? Herd?... farm? and it’s the same with plants bc their main source of hydration is incredibly dangerous to handle – except for these one creatures I first thought up when all I could think about was the people who follow around the murder birds (dw we’re gonna talk abt that im in too deep I’m incapable of not-). The. only visual I have for them is like tall, lanky humpless camels with like. Snouts like those smooth mammal things whos faces look like a mix between anteater and capybara snouts that the only tentative first-draft name ive come up w for them is ‘snufflers’ XD and that sounds way too much like the knew Minecraft mob lmao-

At the point in time where the wcbwe universe begins, snufflers are the only truly domesticated animal in the Deadzone. They’re used as mounts, for food, and, more importantly, they can accurately predict when it’s about to rain, and start barking… maybe screamers or something would be a better name lmao theyre just too soft for that :p

Because they work as a warning system for the other wildlife who aren’t immune to the rain, predators in the Deadzone (with the exception of the nightcrawlers) don’t attack snufflers unless in incredibly dire situations, and, by extension, the people of the Deadzone are mostly safe when close enough! So they’re incredibly popular mounts for travelling the desolation of the Deadzone. Snuffler… ‘rangers’ or ‘ranchers’, this is newer lore so I’m not quite settled on any names/titles yet, have travelling farms that herd their flocks between a rotation of local villages to sell/trade them for various resources. Even just keeping the snufflers in the village deters most predators from hunting there, with the exception of nightcrawlers who will attack snufflers anyways (might be because their exoskeleton protects them from the rain so the warning means nothing to them), and the murder bird cats, who are smart enough to hunt people while leaving the snufflers alone.

THIS IS WHERE I BRING UP THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOW THE BIRBS AROUND :D

Some ranchers take a snuffler or two and head out either on their own or in small groups no larger than five, to follow the bird cat flocks. When they’re quite literally sat atop the snufflers, the murder friends mostly leave them alone. Of course they also have to be incredibly careful until they build up enough trust within the flock, because they would definitely be considered a threat or food and taken out if they stray too far or close. If the rouge ranchers want to be able to follow and live among the murder friends in relative safety, they’ve got to prove that a) theyre not a threat and b) they’re more useful alive than dead

Ranchers who follow the cats tend to hunt larger prey like the nightcrawlers, and share their kills with the bird cats, among other things, and the murder friends return the favour once the ranchers have been accepted as friends. Its an incredibly important and dangerous job, but also scorned. The murder bird cats are a serious threat to villages and just the people of the Deadzone in general – and the ranchers often become protective and defensive of their flocks, which causes some conflict. Still, these ranchers (who don’t have a separate title yet) are incredibly important for life in the Deadzone. They provide information on where their flocks are so people can avoid them or hide, they have easy access to eggs they can sell or trade as food, and if they have enough respect within the flock can even help provent attacks on villages – not to mention all they learn about the predators, and it always helps to know things about your enemies. One of my ocs, and the pov character of a story I’m writing  named Arceli is one of these ranchers! Though unfortunately that doesn’t last very long and isn’t the focus at all :,)

So those’re two of the most important jobs in the Deadzone and we’ve gone seriously off topic!

Hunting, right-

Well, hunting’s pretty hard without tools lol! I don’t know much about the production of any tools you’d use for hunting n shit so I won’t really talk about that, but I can tell you a bit of what they’re made out of! Though not much sorry ;-;

Metals do exist here and while fire isn’t an option, they do still have the melty water and some forms of bioluminescence that produces heat! I wont go into details I don’t know, but both rock and metal can be heated and molded similar to how they could in our world… just not with fire haha. And also bone! This would work exactly the same as how it does on earth – but the Deadzone has an abundance of bones, particularly around the edges

The Deadzone is surrounded by a barrier called The Threshold – and the Threshold is basically a large ring of the bones of dead things that have tried to cross it. I’m tempted to try and explain but I can’t draw which would really help w the explanation and also this is already really long so I’ll just keep it simple with it’s not a hard line in art terms bc those’re the only words I know rn in art terms it sort of. Ombres and condenses before dispersing out again. and by ‘it’ I mean the bones

So bones are easily accessible, and a pretty abundant resource!

TAPIRS FUCKIGN TAPIRS THAT’S WHAT THEYRE CALLED. SNUFFLER FACES NOSES WHATEVER LOOK LIKE TAPIR FACE NOSES. anyways. moving on now.

Right bones!

Lots of em littered around; they’re used for pretty much everything from tools/weapons to for building to even for food and snacks – things to gnaw and whatnot – especially marrow (in what I’m assuming would be primarily from fresher kills).

(I don’t know why I mentioned agriculture earlier ive barely brought it up whoops. Probably won’t go into it either, unless it comes up naturally, this is just already way to long lmao)

Another thing that plays a large part in hunting is that pretty much everything, people and animal alike, have very strong stomachs, and people, in smaller doses, know how to prepare carrion in a way that wont immediately make you super fucking sick. I haven’t decided how long it takes for things to rot in the Deadzone; the air is super cold there, cold enough to significantly slow down the decomposition process bUT the sands and rocks and shit are really really good at absorbing heat from the sun, like they can get hot enough to burn you. So I guess it depends on how sunny it is but that doesn’t really matter the point is. It’s way less (if at all) necessary now, what with the invention of traps and tools for hunting and farming the snufflers, but the only way you live long enough to evolve in the Deadzone is if you’re a scavenger of some kind.

So back to hunting. I’ve mentioned it once or twice but visibility is Really Shitty most of the time, so when you’re going out, you’ve to plan to be lost for a few days or you’re dead. If you stick close to your village you’re not gonna get as good of results, but at least you’re much more likely to make it home at the end of the day. Stray too far and you could get so turned around it takes you a month to get home – but you’d probably stumble across some really good prey to bring back, when you’re in places people don’t end up in often.

OH

CAN’T BELIEVE I FORGOT-

Bioluminescence! Is a thing here!

Ive already mentioned that in multiple different things, but guess what! It applies here, too!

So like with bioluminescent fish, often predators use their own possible bioluminescent qualities to lure in prey. This was first observed by the rangers following the murder bird cats (I haven’t settled on a specific design but so far they’ve got whiskers that can grown from the chin, crown of the head, and along the spine and base of the tail that have a glowing bubble at the end), and was adapted by people for use in traps and as lures in the same way

Oh also there’s fish in the melty water :)

Fishing isn’t a thing just yet, but they’ll figure it out soon enough

I feel like im forgetting something but *checks wordcount* this is over 2000 words so imma just stop it here lmao-

no art sorry, I tried and failed miserably and then was at my grandma’s writing and not drawing lol

#long post #it is way too difficult to type (the tags the rest was copy pasted) in the dark XD #asks! #teamfortresstwo!! #*insert sparkles here* w o r l d b u i l d i n g :D #im curious as to what prompted the ask tho lol #oh! #wcbwe stands for what could be worth eternity #I think I’ve mentioned tgat before but didn’t clarify in this post specifically–

[menalez]

>quintissential pink washing wait have i've said something wrong? i'm sorry if i came across as obtuse or anything, like i said i am pro-palestine and definitely care about the obvious genocide they're facing right now. i do agree that now is not the time to play identity politics or w/e, i just also want to care for gay people whenever they bring up homophobia in other groups because of course i'm against homophobia no matter what. i do think it's tone deaf for white western gay men and lesbians to talk about the hamas homophobic sentiments during a genocide, but it's like. palestenian homosexuals exist too???? and i worry that after all is said and done, they might murder muslim gay people regardless of the outcome of this situation. i am not gay nor muslim so i can't really talk about this anyway, but yeah i just wanted your thoughts as a mena lesbian yourself so that i can learn more

i mean yes exactly palestinian gay ppl exist too so like i’m not saying support hamas or sth but using israel’s talking points about how they’re better bc they’ve got gay rights (not even true, theyre just not as bad in that regard) is indeed partaking in pinkwashing. very often when people discuss stuff like racism against MENA people or hate crimes against muslims or how our countries are being actively destroyed by the west, ppl will almost justify it by saying that supporting us and not wanting us to die and our countries to be in shambles is somehow supporting homophobia. or they’ll be like “yeah but the homophobia there is so bad” like .. yes? and how is destroying our countries supposed to change that? and it’s quite annoying that these topics get brought up at a time like this for example when palestinians are being killed at such high rates. including gay palestinians. one of my dear friends is a gay palestinian guy and he also made a similar comment to the one ur quoting and it comes from the frustration of only seeing ppl care about gay rights in our countries (& using gay rights in our countries to victimise themselves rather than. yanno thinking about the gay people who actually live there and have to deal with the homophobia) when we’re being bombed or killed or otherwise seriously harmed as a population.

i feel like when ppl want to discuss homophobia in the middle east, they very often do it in this .. tonedeaf way. i’ve had to deal with white & western people literally try to use the homophobia in my country against me, to demonise ME for being brown & born into islam, as if it hasn’t directly affected me & has never affected them. it’s so frustrating having ur own struggles used against u in order to then justify the harm against u or even move the discussion from ur people being killed. idk how else to say it, but basically i get why brown ppl get frustrated when white western gay ppl see our countries being destroyed and decide now is the time to talk about how if they lived in our countries they would totally face homophobia therefore our countries are bad. maybe there’s ppl who go about it in a better way but i’ve generally seen it done in a way that almost dismisses our struggles & centres themselves, hence my distaste

(also don’t worry u don’t need to apologise, im not angry at u or sth im just trying to explain how i’ve seen this phenomena. might look for what my friend has said about it as a gay palestinian bc he’s definitely way better at expressing his thoughts than i am)

[bonesandthebees]

on the topic of names, this is a random thing but idk just thinking about the meaning of names n stuff brought this up but i actually changed my last name legally !! (just this year, after my 19th bday pog)

i obvi won't say what but i will say i changed it to like . a word. not a name. i have an obsession w words with obscure meanings (like petrichor <3) and i've never felt connected to my last name... like i actually disliked it LMAO idk i just never liked how it sounded and whenever i looked at my full name i thought it just kinda . idk i never liked it

but ever since changing it to a name i chose, i just... i love it. i look at my name fully written out and it makes me so happy waefjwael I was a little nervous that it would just look weird and my entireee family was like "omg what if u change ur mind tho and hate it?!?!" even though i was pretty certain i wouldnt care, but yeah ever since i actually got the document back, there's been no regrets. it's one of the best decisions i've ever made. it's really helped me feel more comfortable in my identity n stuff.

i've had so many ppl question why i did it though lmaooo, theyre all just like "u can do that..." like yep! u can just change ur name for no reason lol. i mean . it gets annoying with having to tell all the gov places n stuff, but otherwise it's pretty simple lmaooo. def better to do it when ur young though bc then u have less places to tell

but yeah sometimes when im explaining to ppl why i did it, i get flashbacks to u talking about why you love writing stuff about names lmaooo /pos but yeah:)) just to say that i also really resonate with names having meaning n stuff hehehe

(yes I combined these two asks since they seemed pretty similar, the screenshot is technically the first one)

oh that sounds like such an interesting class!! it's always fascinating to learn different cultures history behind names. I love the idea of earning a name that's the same as a family member representing that you're sharing an identity, and also the fact that you can lose a name depending on your actions

also that's so cool that you changed your name!! I think changing your last name to a word is a REALLY cool idea. also, while I've heard plenty about people wanting to change their first names, you don't really hear about people wanting to change their last names that often? but like, I get it. I actually don't go by my legal last name that often unless I have to, or at least not my full one. I have two last names but I only ever use one of them in my daily life, and whenever I hear the other one used it really bothers me. there's a whole lot of reasoning for this I won't get into because it's personal but the gist is that my mom added my second last name legally for me when I was 11, and so up until that point I only had ever gone by one last name. and the timing of when that legal paperwork happened coincided with a lot of major things happening in my life, so I associate the person I was with that original last name as being a lot different than who I am now. now I only go by the second last name my mom added on for me and I hate when people use my original last name.

long winded way to say I get it, and I'm so glad you're happy with your name now!! you gotta love that you can literally just change your name if you want. one of my closest friends from college did that. I don't think she's gone through the legal hassle, but she uses a different first name than her birth one now which she started doing during covid. there's no reason for it. she's cis and she doesn't have any trauma attached to her old name or anything. she just didn't like it. who cares y'know? make yourself happy.

#ask #icyfox17

[pandoratheprocrasticreator]

You know that flavor of ppl who aren't like homophobic by the strictest definition. Like they don't hate queer ppl and are even enthusiastic to co-exist with them but are like. Weird about it. Not in the "I'm fine with queers i just dont want them shoved down my throat" bc thats just homophobia but like the gluten free version of that.

This phenomenon is more harmful irl but im pulling examples from fandom bc thats where i spend most my time online these days and shipping is inconsequential enough to discuss. If a boy and a girl interact at all in one scene theres immediately a whole community for their ship and no one bats an eye. But shippers of gay ships that dont interact are filled with ppl who lord them as their "uwu gay babies" and shippers who are normal about it get plagued with ppl asking them for "proof theyre a couple." And when you do the same for a straight ship ppl retort with "this isnt hurting anyone so leave us alone" which could be a reasonable argument. But the same ppl using that for their straight ships are also the ones asking for cited sources that the author didnt intend for characters in a gay ship to be entirely straight.

Same with other queer headcanons. Trans hcs will have ppl saying that "i PERSONALLY never saw them as trans your headcanon is valid but i need you to give me an essay on your reasons bc WHY WOULD THEY BE TRANS." Ace headcanons are similar except with ppl also telling the hperson with the ace headcanon that they ship this character with someone. And ofc theres the "arent characters allowed to be friends" argument which again. Is valid. But the ppl making that for queer headcanons also often parade screenshots where a boy and girl in a show look at each other and say "this is proof theyre canon."

And maybe its just bc ive been into more queer media lately but these kids of ppl are worse when the media actually has canon queer characters? Ppl flock to the safe and canon gay ships and use that as a shield against accusations of bias. They CANT be homophobic or even biased against queer people because look! They thought it was cute when these two secondary girls held hands! This character has gay dads and this person supports that! They just want you to write an academic paper to justify your ship existing because YOURE the crazy one whos bringing shipping into everything. No one has to reexamine their implicit biases whatsoever. It feels performative.

Ofc this also extends to other biases. The main character of this book is black so the fandom cant be racist. Thats why its perfectly fine for them to hyperfocus on the angsty white boy in the secondary cast and ignore the main poc characters. No one needs to think about why that consistently happens in every fandom like this. This main character is a girl! And shes also a Strong Female Character whos quirky. So we dont need to think about how the fandom lauds around the male villains as sexy and write pages of meta on their motivations and then call female villains "bitches" and talk about the graphic ways they should be killed and maybe sexualize them if theyre conventionally attractive but in a more dehumanizing way than the male villains. And ofc if you call fans out for this, they jump behind the shield of "liking diverse media." Which makes them immune to accusations of bigotry. This is also true for creators of media btw.

Anyway its like. I would rather deal with these kinds of ppl than actual homophobes, especially regarding non fandom topics that actually affect irl ppl. But also these people are so much more annoying than actual homophobes. Bc like. If you tell me you support queer ppl then act like it, you know?

#shut up pandora #dropping this rant in time for pride i guess #homophobia #does that go in this tag? #also dont come at me with fandom drama #the fandom thing is just an example #my point is people will use their support of specific queer ppl #especialy those who fit within heteronormative ideas except they married the same gender or have transitioned #and dismiss all criticism bc they think this keeps them from being homophobic #supporting queer ppl isnt just letting them date of present as the gender they want you also have to change your heteronormative mindset #because otherwise youve just created the same system of oppression but with rainbows #irl this would be the argument #im not homophobic i have gay friends #pride

[cishetamine]

the worst person in the world (2021) letterboxd review (already crossposted this to twt but reposting here for………'research'[you'll see)]

funny how i originally thought this movie was adapted from a novel even BEFORE a major character contracted a terminal illness (aka like one of the most common things that can happen to a character in a Realistic Fiction Novel, right after infidelity). it just has that MFA vibe!

this movie feels like a deceptive advertisement for living in norway. isn't it mostly cold there ? (update: i have looked up the average winter monthly temperatures in oslo & theyre actually pretty much the same as where i live. whooops!!)

the music in this is good when it’s good & rly annoying when it’s not

hilarious and insane that norway’s indie comics scene is (or is at least depicted as being) exactly the same as in the US—i.e., dominated by edgy cishet dudes all too willing to use mere shock factor as an excuse for originality

like…he has characters whose names are translated as “Dick Wolf Dick” & “Pedo the Parrot” which, come ON but also that literally is what these guys are like……like. So true besty

& yet ! i also can't help but sympathize w/ the comic boyfriend re: the Great Endless Cancel Culture Debate bc ppl have also told me stuff like, “i hate all the people in your comics”

which like! Fair, i don't intend for my characters to be Nice People (well ok some of them are well-intentioned but also kinda hopeless/lost causes)

but also the bf (well, ex-bf—in more ways than 1!!) is exactly right—comics are where i put all the horrible thoughts in my brain that i can’t exorcize by any other means!

love that she shares my hobby of “lying to strangers at parties”……she’s so cool

this movie has a lot of fun little moments that feel pointily realistic: (e.g.: getting interrupted repeatedly while fooling around w/ someone at a party bc you’ve decided to canoodle one another in the Designated Bed Where Everyone Puts Their {Admittedly Extremely Soft + Sensual} Coats, and now everyone is coming to get their jackets & keeps walking in on u while you're trying to snog)

^ another such moment: when her dad says that the link to the libfem girlpower-vibes sex article she wrote doesn’t work, & it’s up to us to decide if there’s actually an issue with his phone or he was just being squeamish abt sex

i wouldn’t call these "wow just like irl lmao" moments exactly the same as the ones in a coen bros movie, but they’re similar imo ? like, those are always my favorite things abt their films (the violence is fine but usually kind of boring to me at this point. like, okay, he has a gun, great. can we bring back the wood chipper? no, too expensive? well how about the cattle stunner thingy, do you still have that thingamajig laying around?)

nah i'm talking like, the way they make the pauses in an ordinary conversation as awkwardly real as possible. ofc when they do it it's often bc there's some sort of double entendre[not necessarily sexual] going on, like w/ the confusion re: the kidnapping in fargo or the student trying to cheat in a serious man. but lebowski has a lot of fun realistic conversationy stuff that's just plain weird, which i guess i'm comparing this more to?

wait. Holy shit. is it at all true that “most women don’t like giving blowjobs”!?!?!?!? Like What the FUCK. is this a straight vs gay thing??? i don’t get it……what could turn u on more than being good at making yr partner cum??? (ok well i can think of several things actually but literally why are u having sex w/ someone unless it’s mutually enjoyable i——???? honestly this was maybe the least believable part of the movie 4 me :// can straight women PLEASE weigh in on thisPLEAAAASEEEEE!!!!!!)

re: “they’ve housebroken bobcat” I HAVE TO KNOW whether the bit abt removing the cartoon cat’s butthole was in response to CATS (2019).

this movie feels like propaganda from the norwegian board of tourism. case in point: basically all of the action happens in summer. also, that scene where she runs outside and the world is frozen in time feels kinda like an ad. sorry if my brain has been broken by america superb owl commercial culture :(

it’s fascinating to see a film that’s so contemporary & relatable but also not quite my own life??? kinda like the gaggle of cishet-presenting girls i saw on the train recently—bc i was aware of most of the celebrity gossip & news stuff they were talking abt, but i still came away feeling like i inhabit a very different—albeit parallel—world from them. for more context, here is my best try at a transcript of their convo: www.tumblr.com/cishetamine/701574180800479232/lily-rose-depp-they-were-calling-her-a-nepo

(p.s. please don't get mad at me for snooping on strangers, i'm just one of many credulous clods who once heard that u can get better at writing by transcribing how ppl really talk. & from there i got obsessed w/ doing this whenever someone is having an interesting convo near me. also most importantly, i didn't write down any personally identifying info & also these ppl are totally anonymous anyway. so plz enjoy @ yr leisure!)

love how this dude reminisces abt being a Record Store / Video Store / Comic Store guy !!! i.e., he’s an alt bro!!! love that for him. it's so cute that norway has hipsters too<3 squee!

also luv how "i just took a dna test turns out / i'm 3.1% sami" is the norwegian equivalent of “my great grandmother was a cherokee princess” cosplaying indigeneity

^ overall tho, the extinction rebellion-core gf feels kinda way too flat & one-note……but also i literally know ppl who are like that!! like i've had friends who were into radical veganism + environmentalism & it did seem kind of culty……which is not to say that ppl shouldn't be vegan or environmentalist, of course! but i have absolutely seen it turn into Unhealthy Polycule Drama & we've just seen where that leads, cough FTX / EAs, cough

no but it’s fascinating how this depiction of norwegian ~radical~ environmentalism compares to the scene in the US. for instance i feel like i’ve never heard an american state that they chose not to fly across the ocean bc it would increase their carbon footpri——wait no actually yes i have heard this, but specifically in the context of academic conferences, never like, regarding travel for fun. Interesting difference here!

(^ also, those were basically only professors on twitter who were saying that, not ppl i know in real life. so another level of remove from me)

[meanwhile i would chop off one of my less-important fingers in exchange for being able to fly across the ocean, environment be damned] [anyway tbh i figure it wouldn’t be thaaaaaat evil so long as i was able to stay in that other country for at least several months, as opposed to business travelers who frequently fly back & forth. but i would want to stay bc i would be desperate to learn the language!

which language, you ask? why, my answer is—Yes!]

anyway enough feeling sorry for myself for not being rich. time to feel sorry for imaginary movie ppl instead!

“i don’t want to be the sensible choice while she’s the sexy one” damn that makes a lot of sense! i definitely feel that re: pressure to be Exciting & Spontaneous & Ever-Flexible so that ppl will find u attractive / alluring instead of setting boundaries (given the choice between setting a boundary vs having sex with someone hot, i will almost always choose the latte——ah, but you see, posting this in a public forum where people i've had sex with can read it is itself an act of performati——

So about the main character. We don’t get much interiority of her, like aside from the stuff at the beginning abt her various major + career changes, we don't get to hear directly the thoughts she is thinking—not just bc we don't hear much in the way of interior monologue, but also bc she doesn't explain herself to the ppl around her.

like, she didn't tell her then-bf that there was in fact another guy—which like, honestly, if i were in her situation, i might also take the coward's route! especially if she feared jealous retribution from her current bf. but we don't know if she fears that, bc we never see her talk to her FRIENDS, bc for all we know, she doesn't have any!!!!

which feels very……hard for me to believe? bc i have never met a woman who did not have Friends. (& supposedly guys tend to have fewer pals, but even they usually seem to at least have like, Gamer Buds, idk! i know i always did back when i was a Gamer in high school, even if i was kinda withdrawn irl.)

so i'm left wondering—are we supposed to see her as genuinely friendless? & if so, what does that say abt her?

or are we just supposed to assume that the movie doesn't want to show her friends? if that's the case, why would it make that decision??

if we as viewers are supposed to actually believe that she doesn't have friends that she can confide in whom she is not romantically involved with……it rly paints a very specific (& melancholy!) picture of her as a person. bc that's a stereotype i mostly associate w/ Isolated Guys, but yet she is not that! (i would like to be her friend & talk abt photography..)

still not sure how i feel abt the freeze-time gimmick. Like on the 1 hand—it’s giving crazy ex girlfriend tv show. But also………idk it looks kinda cool regardless!

between this & tár, i feel sooo…………something abt watching 2 movies in a short timespan that contain Bitingly Contemporary Cancellation Scenes, & also cell phones………i………hmm.

thinking abt gretchen from twitter, a noble woman fighting for a just cause (telling adult YA fans to get a life), yet whose ratioing ultimately feels sorta pyrrhic to me, such that i have to wonder if it's worth the stress it presumably causes her.

but also, i am much more of a wimp than many people! for instance, a lot of ppl are strong tough athletes who put themselves thru a lot of pain because they find it enjoyable overall! whereas personally i only do exercise when i can convince myself that it's fun (e.g., biking places, swimming in water that isn't freezing cold)

so what i'm saying is perhaps gretchen sees being a Culture Warrior as a noble pursuit &/or lives for the thrill of the takedown, whereas i'm probably conflict-averse to a fault. (also, on a materialist level, she gets plenty of publicity for fighting the good fight—& as an author, building an audience is pretty crucial to keeping the lights on!)

anyway, right—the reason i'm thinking abt her at all in the context of this film is bc of the Cancel Culture Scene. bc i'm sympathetic to both the comics artist himself as well as his critics—bc like gretchen & her supporters always say, i believe artists have the right to be messy & sexual & graphic & painful & problematic & difficult to untangle……both bc i prefer to consume art (like this movie!) that fits that description, & bc that's ultimately the kind of work i would like to create.

but what's weird abt the tv interview in the gym in this movie is that we don't really even get to see exactly what the feminists debating the comics boyfriend are actually mad at him about. it's all vague—probably bc the point isn't the debate itself so much as its effect on his ex-gf! (& we know this bc the camera spends hella time tracking her facial reactions throughout this scene, as opposed to focusing primarily on the ex-boyfriend being interviewed.)

(btw for the record, i've read some of gretchen's writing but not a huge amount, & i think she's quite talented at describing compelling visual scenes, but i do worry that some of her political commentary is just so on-the-nose that it isn't as funny as it wants to be?

like, sure, i hate raytheon tenderqueers as much as any Good Leftoid! obviously imperialist militaries are evil & should be systematically dismantled, & it's sickening seeing the cynical liberal war machine attempt to suck us gays into its awful whirling gears.

but—as we saw with countless lib comedians attempting to parody trump—just bc you're making fun of something genuinely bad, doesn't mean your jokes are automagically hilarious!)

oh right, i was building toward something—namely: it feels like there's 3 sides in the big Cancel Culture Debate these days:

(mostly but not solely) christian right-wingers who hate the gays

young people who ummm [takes a full minute to check something on my phone] believe barnes & noble should sort books by tone indicator & who think fujoshis will trigger the third impact

cool edgy trans ppl caught in the middle of these 2 groups, martyred like that one saint mishima used to jack off to & permitted to do any crime so long as it is judged as being sufficiently badass by the Council of Trans Elders

anyway i was just gonna say: you know how sun tzu art of war has that thing abt how u should make your enemies fight each other instead of u fighting on 2 sides at once?

yeah, i think we should come up with a new discourse designed to do exactly that. or maybe get the evangelicals & catholics to fight again over whether asexual priests are valid or if they have to be volcel to really count. hopefully they'll wear themselves out, & our[if i may be so bold as to number myself among the Edgy Trans] troops of keyboard warriors will be able to reenter the fray refreshed to fight another day!

#letterboxd #movie thots #the worst person in the world #informal poll #reposting this here bc i want as large of a sample size as possible for the BJ question

[honeyfallen]

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 ( gimme five. from not via )

omg hi not via im ur biggest fan, ,, these are just for u tho u better be sleeping <333

this isnt something ive seen a whole lot as of a late but sometimes its very easy to see when ppl dont consider others on here like, , , Real Actual people and thats !! strange!! just bc u met someone on the internet and they are not Face to Face with you doesn’t mean u can just treat them how u please bc there arent like “real life” repercussions for u

kind of going off that but it can be really exhausting to always be reaching out to people only to get limited or cut off responses that just make it feel like someone is Uninterested . like i can be guilty of this!! 100% i am not going to sit here and say that i haven’t been on the other end of things and im trying to get better about it too!! but when ur constantly the person messaging someone to talk or check in or plot or Whatever, ur gonna get tired and like do that less and less and it’s really disheartening! like again, we all have lots of other stuff going on, im not saying u need to make urself available to someone when u dont have the time or mental capacity, but just one message here and there can make a difference, fuck knows im depressed as shit and have my moments of isolation too, its just hard if u feel like ur the only one making an effort

idk if this is unpopular or anything but i find it a lot easier to like,, write with ppl if im like,,, friends or just friendly with someone? i totally understand that not everyone here is looking for Friends or anything, sometimes ur just here to write and that’s fine and i’m like, not going to Not write with you bc ur not talking to me ooc all the time, but idk, it’s just nice to learn about y’all outside of ur muses and ur writing and it makes me a tiny bit more ,, comfortable? to approach ur writing and stuff? 

cliques are annoying, they can be offputting, but people writing more with their friends than with ppl they dont know isnt always a bad thing kjfdngfdgf i like to branch out and meet new people but i also have people that im just generally more comfortable with and that replies come to more easily for that! i promise im not here to make anyone feel left out, we’re all like,, mostly mentally ill and sometimes u gotta curate that space

darby already kind of said this but the way ppl pay female ocs dust sometimes, , ,,,,,,, i know i like,, mainly write a Man,,,,,,, but not that long after i first made elijahs blog i made a solo one for a lesbian oc i had and yknow what,,, yeah!! its the like specifically women that cant be shipped with Men that often dont get as much going on and u dont!! need to have a romantic ship to establish some fun and interesting dynamics between people!! elijah as a character is terrible abt distinguishing between platonic and romantic affection bt some of my favorite dynamics for him are ones that are strictly platonic or familial, theyre really fucking fun to write and should!! also be considered, just bc u cant ship ur character with another doesnt mean u cant find some fun shit to write / plot

#﹒˚ ₊ ︵ out of character . ♡ #under a read more bc long DFNKG #thank u for sending!!

[darudedogestorm]

what’s up bestie. music asks. answer em. 5, 6, 14, 22, & 29 <3

hi bestie!! sorry for answering this so late my fucking internet went out RIGHT when i was abt to post it 😭

5. name an album you feel is perfect

tbh i dont usually sit down and listen to a full album all at once except for a few times so i dont usually immediately notice any faults but out of the ones ive listened to i cant really find any issues in Kimya Dawson’s “Remember That I Love You” or AJJ’s “Knifeman” and hmm Johnny Hobo and the Freight Trains’s side of “Love Songs for the Apocalypse” (ik ik i’m cheating by listing more than one album shhh)

6. from the album you feel is perfect, what three songs would you choose to eliminate if you absolutely had to?

From Remember That I Love You: “France”, “I Miss You”, and “12/26” purely bc i’ve only listened to them like. once. i dont remember anything about them 😔

EDIT 4/1/2023 FUCK PAST ME FRANCE GOES SO FUCKING HARD. SHEER WONDER BABY

From Knifeman: oh god this is hard but “Back Pack”, “Fucc the Devil”, and uhhh “If You Have Love in Your Heart” for the same reasons as above… i simply don’t listen to them as often as other songs on the album 😔 nothing wrong with them i just like other songs more

From Love Songs for the Apocalypse: genuinely i can’t pick i actually like all these songs equally sob (not counting mantit’s side of the album here cos i haven’t listened to it) maybe “Election Song”? since i don’t generally go back to it as much as other songs on the album

14. is there any band/musician who you really strongly dislike? if so, why?

Oh god so many, mostly cos theyre overplayed

ed sheeran bc my mom likes his songs so i get to hear “Shape of You” every car ride ever :( i listen anyway cos it makes her happy but it’s so so painful. idk anything about him as a person but his music gives off very annoying vibes i simply do not care for him

taylor swift for obvious reasons but also because i used to pretend to like her in grade school so my friend would like me (her music wasn’t necessarily terrible i just didnt care LMAO) but now i hate her bc she’s annoying and it’s so so enraging hearing people be like “omg she’s so gay!!” ohhh my god shut up she is the straightest women alive on this earth…

girl in red mostly cos ppl hyped up her music so much but when i actually listened to it, it was really disappointing… go girl give us nothing

(^also the annoying terminally online “do u listen to girl in red = are you a lesbian” simply bc as a lesbian i simply think she’s kinda lame)

more i can’t think of rn i think cos i’m not currently in the hater mindset but also cos for the longest time i never really paid much attention to the musicians behind the music (with some exceptions i still dont know most of the names of the members of my favorite bands lmao)

22. name a song that reminds you of one of your best memories

tbh most of the older vocaloid songs :( they remind me of being a child on the internet (the good parts not weird parts which i thankfully mostly avoided) specific examples include “World is Mine” by Supercell, “Electric Angel” by YasuoP, and “Tokyo Teddy Bear” by Neru <—the big one that got me into vocaloid!!

as for specific memories… hmm… i never really related songs to my personal life cos i’d be too busy imagining Epic Warrior Cats/Vocaloid AMVs (childhood thru present day) but ig the closest would be “Becky” by Be Your Own Pet cos it reminds me of my ex friend who i hate and how i stopped talking to her 😁 best decision of my life for real

29. is there any song that you mostly like, but there’s one specific part of it that you don’t like as much? if so, what is it?

can’t think of any rn! but i’ll probably think of smth later and add it here

#asks #on lte rn you know how it is 💔 #low pitched finite woofing

[aetherknit]

diversity win! cisgender streamer said that they dont care abt what pronouns are used even tho they use he/him exclusively

LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

answering a huge chunk of asks about pronouns discourse below

^ this is one time ill allow myself to get a little biased in the answer but like dream is genuinely very courteous and understands that he has a lot to learn from his fans and that hes made many mistakes... and sometimes it opens him up to be taken advantage of (albeit often unintentionally!!! in no way do i mean to take lgbt fans in bad faith) so he gives cautious answers like this and everyone runs fucking WILDDDD

i dont know if these ppl havent talked to enough cis people but: CIS PEOPLE DONT CARE IF YOU USE THEY/THEM 99% OF THE TIME. i cant even go into explaining why but cis people have a different mindset when it comes to gender they just do. this entire ask though is EXTREMELY based like. well....(see above answer lmao)

FELT. im saurrrr fem-presenting i think if someone told me i had she/they vibes id just close my eyes forever

i hope this has been as validating for u as it has been for me . i try not to be all ~superiority complex about not being a twitter main~ but to articulate it more accurately: twitter is a bit more guilty of hivemind and they have much less space to make their claims/argue so sometimes it can be EXTREMELY draining to be surrounded by that and it can make u feel more alone than u are LMAO

no srsly and although im definitely like "dream is unlabeled in his sexuality yay" and technically hasnt i guess used the word cis (most cis people havent :sob:) i have always gotten the vibe that at least some of these fans are ppl who feel guilty over stanning someone who isnt lgbt enough and/or is white and it compounds into some frankly Odd grabs for queerness where there is (presumably) none <- again a lot of this is conjecture/meant to be a blanket statement and not just about dream. but i get what u mean

am i far enough down in this post yet to bring up the way a chunk of smiletwt treats eret...... Well i wont say more

WELCOME BACK we will never catch a break will we LMFAOOO i cant keep my mouth shut abt this topic im glad it annoys u like it annoys me. i cant even add anything to this bc u so succinctly hit so many good points i agree with. vouch vouch vouch. sooo happy for boomer and its still a clip that makes me smile but sometimes ifl its used to justify some freak behavior in donos

poorly guided need for validation & representation + some lacking lgbt-experience (sorry this sounds condescending i dont mean it like that im just speaking from my own life lmfao) + needing emotional outlet = u are about to act like a weird truther

this is lacking context atp but i need this anon to know that this made me smile <3 even if theyre baiting me to do something that will get me lambasted (slash extremely lighthearted xoxo) LMFAO

#theres still more but only 10 images are allowed per post help me #all of u were so wellspoken i want to post all of them im just trying not to flood my blog/dash anymore :sob: #also anon that sent me this top ask thanks for being the perfect lead-in to this comp #discourse / #ask

[icharchivist]

cries think I made my ask too long so like half of it got deleted bc I typed it right into the askbox. anyways. I come bearing a3 thoughts! at first i was gonna watch the spring/summer and autumn/winter ones and then give my thoughts on both but. turns out i had too many thoughts lol? which i shouldve expected but i actually kind of... got bored by the first two chapters of this event! so i skipped and went to the stranger. and then went back. (1/?)

and then i got to like "tsuzuru and kazunari are having a fight?" and jumped on that like a starving wolf bc helllll yeah! i rly adored kazunari in sardine search, i think he was great! hes just so nice and has good vibes. he and taichi are kind of similar i feel? but i think their respective ages contribute to a lot of difference in their characters. why does it feel like this askbox limit personally wants me dead. (2/?)

anyways! i rly enjoyed the improv scene devolving to a real fight. admittedly i was kinda surprised that the content of that improv wasnt rly too similar to their actual fight? like normally a3 has the story of the play run parallel to like the actual real character drama so i thought the improv might function as the play in this event... it was still good tho. the scene i mean. (3/?)

also i rly liked tenma ragging on them afterwards. like he was mean but. first i adore tenma. second he just felt like. a different meddling type to muku lol? like the vibes he gave me were always like... im going to be a considerate leader and watch out for the ppl under me! therefore im gonna make sure theyre doing fine! aggressively. i think tenmas also just like a friendly person who likes to take care of others in general? like im not saying hes omi or anything but just like. (4/?)

that time he offers his car ride to juza so they can go to school together like hes surprisingly open compared to his initial prickliness. also ive got thoughts abt the tenma juza SSR conversation thing i read. one day ill make a tenma and juza fic and complete a trifecta haha... but thats something for another day! back to the actual story. the way tsuzuru dives right in after kazunari! that was so nice. like its easy to see how much they care abt each other. (5/?)

to the point where like even while theyre fighting theyre like angry but still like fairly quiet bc i think theyre both at least trying to be considerate of each other. ah the moment kazunari didnt respond to tsuzuru trying to talk to him i KNEW he was sick tho. felt proud of myself for calling that one but also the reason i knew is bc i have used the "character being sick during an argument causing them both to make up with each other" trope myself before so uh. like recognizes like haha. (6/?)

anyways the cg there was fuckin beautiful like kazunari looks so sad in the middle bit but then u see his shy smile? like hes sick but hes also like. happy to be there. idk. lovely. i adore kazu i think hes just deeply sweet to other people. tsuzuru telling him "you make everyone around you feel as bright and cheery as the things you design” is so wonderful too (7/?)

now im thinking. ah tsuzuru probably feels quite drained after a script and such (i know i am when i finish any piece--its like the emotions just rush out of me) so i like to think that like yknow. kazunari dropping by his room or whatever helps him set himself back to normal! but also when tsuzurus like oh u left ur magazines here! i suddenly remembered. wait shit kazunari and tsuzuru arent even roommates. wonder how much they bother masumi lmaooo. anyways overall very good story! (8/?)

some more thoughts: itaru and citron were so cute in this event! just like. citron saying itaru winking makes his heart skip a beat and itaru quoting citrons wrong sayings (which. i am also guilty of today i told my brother "we'll jump that bridge when we cross it" so) also i love how yuki is like "thank god i wasnt partnered with that hack" but like. yuki. u could literally just not talk about him. like its so funny to me yuki is like wow i hate tenma but he wont shut up abt him haha (9/?)

i also was a lil taken aback at hearing itaru go "for the lulz" tbh... like it fits him. but im mad it fits him? anywaysss thats all i had for this one! im gonna watch autumn/winter and go say my thoughts on that soon. sorry the ask was so broken up, idk what happened!

OLA FRIEND! Glad to see your thoughts again omg :3c

tho omg the fact tumblr deleted it all + the ask limit was all so evil D: poor friend.

I'm putting my answer under a read more because. Well. *waves hand* it got long.

The non-play events can be perhaps a little harder to get into because unlike the plays events that you start with a clear idea of at least the main plot (re: "they are preparing a play, i know the leads so i know who it will focus on"), non-plays events take a little longer to first set up what event they're participating in, how to prepare for it, and then bring up the conflict and which characters are going to have something to do with said conflict. So i can understand that they're a little harder to get into when we know the plays awaits.

On top of that, the first few events still were a bit tame because since it was early when the app released, i think they didn't go too heavy at once in case some people were still stuck on earlier chapters (esp since especially Winter is hard to unlock)

ANYWAY glad that it sucked you in on the second read :3c

So glad you were invested in that conflict!

Totally agreeing with you about Kazunari, and very good point about Taichi as well! they aren't the Puppy Pair for nothing :'D (Yuki took one look at both of them together and just Knew. His suffering knows no end (lovingly)). But yeah i think they have a lot in common, they both are the really bright and friendly figure, both also started in overcompensating a bit because both wanted to be popular in some ways.

But we do have, on one hand, Kazunari who wanted that rather late in his life while Taichi always thrived for that, the fact Kazunari made friends easily and it's just that he was scared of getting to the next level, while Taichi always struggled with this quest for popularity. In a way too both of them were at least scared to share a part of them, Kazunari worrying to show his thoughts, and Taichi being a spy and all of that... which impacts them really differently considering the guilt it puts on Taichi. And then you add their age into the mix, especially the fact Kazu is the oldest of his troupe and Taichi the youngest of his, it makes them fairly similar all while being fairly different.

both are so interesting to me and i love them bothhh, so it's always nice to see them have focus.

admittedly i was kinda surprised that the content of that improv wasnt rly too similar to their actual fight? like normally a3 has the story of the play run parallel to like the actual real character drama so i thought the improv might function as the play in this event

i love how you are seeing the patterns a3 tends to do it's so neat!

It's true the fight isn't really similar to their actual fight, though i do love that they had "swapped" their personality for the act and ended up insulting each other for theirr swapped personality. Like, Kazunari insulted part of himself in Tsuzuru's character and Tsuzuru did the same?? and then the fight escalated and the way Kazunari broke character hurts bc it's really that Tsuzuru hit where it hurts. But yeah it still wasn't too relevent to their actual fight, though i think the thing is that their fight was as such mostly because they tend to clash often due to their personalities rather than just this singular reason why, so to have the play go more "it's their personalities the problem" kinda hurt lol. But yeah still agreed that it didn't reflect much on the plot itself

I was rereading the improv bit to answer correctly and man since we're going to talk about Tenma next, i just. Love that when Kazunari, breaking character, his eyes sad, tells Tsuzuru "you have no rights talking to me like that..." it then cuts on Tenma being upset. Bc like. Exactly like you say, he wants to look out for the people under him. and like. Kazunari is his friend. A friend he also snapped at once and insulted for being who he was, so he probably could have relived a bit of his fight with Kazunari seeing those two fights; Except that now Kazunari is one of his closest friend and he doesn't like that.

Also like. It was also because he could still hide under the plot of the improv but it's so rare, and it never happened before that point, that Kazunari stands for himself in a "the way you treat me is unfair"? Like again re: his fight with Tenma, when Tenma snapped at him, while Tenma was unfair with him, Kazunari took the blame, called himself annoying and all yaknow?

The fact Kazunari is starting to accept that he can take more place for himself is something the whole Summer Troupe have been trying to help him work on, but especially Tenma. Tenma is always there trying to push Kazunari to say what he means, to express his feelings, to stop hiding.

And for once, Kazunari does that in front of everyone... and it's because he's breaking because of his fight with Tsuzuru.

I think Tenma probably felt it was even more of a reason to get involved like, this is the thing he's been working on with Kazunari about, and now he's being all hurt about it, not on Tenma's watch!

And i totally agree with your take on Tenma! (and would LOVE to read the Tenma and Juza fic once you get to it :3c). I think, Tenma is really caring and is trying to take a place as a caretaker and all, but unlike Omi, he has absolutely no reference for it.

Omi is the eldest of multiple brothers and everything indicates his parents have always been lovely to him. Add to it how he ended up leader of a delinquent crew he was clearly looking after, Omi has a history of taking care of people, of nurturing them, and he knows what he's doing. Meanwhile Tenma grew up on TV sets, mostly surrounded by adults and not by people his age, mostly getting advice from being ordered around by directors i think. And his parents are distant, hyperfocused on their job, not really nursing with him. So Tenma meanwhile really didn't have a family emotional support and was in situation where he couldn't befriend other kids his age. His only reference was probably Igawa (his agent) and i think for a long time he didn't exactly see it, and Igawa remained mostly professional so there was probably the idea of it not being sincere? That Tenma had to grow out of.

So like, they're both extremely nurturing and caring, but my point is that Omi has experiences in it and is at ease with it, while Tenma has been so alone and in places were he had no support system that even if he wants to support others, he still struggles with how to do it because he has no set exemple. And that's his development in the main story arc, to learn from how Izumi shows she cares in order to care back at them all.

Like i mean the way Tenma yelled at them about their mistakes at first feel like he would have picked it up from some directors on TV set yaknow? Probably hearing them say that with no consequences on others actors, seeing it worked, didn't think "that's an abuse of power and the actors probably all think badly of their director for that" but "wow that works", tried it on his troupesmates and realized this is... not how that works. And it's spending time watching how Izumi encourages them that have him fix his way to approach it.

So yeah i got lost too into it but like. I feel you on Tenma i love him so much and i love his development so to see him get pissed and involved there? was really nice. even if he was aggressive about it. He's still learning.

ANYWAY back to Tsuzuru and Kazunari, totally agree with what you say next. They still care a lot about each other and yeah they're at a point where this consideration they have for each other make their anger more quiet than trying to attack one another (Banri could NEVER-). so yeah totally agree with you!

DLKFJDLKF i LOVE the reasoning on "recognizing that Kazunari was sick". Your writer's powers making you see through... *coughs* unlike Tsuzuru....

AND YEAH ALL YOU SAY ABOUT THE CG.. YEAH. Kinda crying thinking about it again now LDKJFLKDJF It's just. Everything about it is so soft and tender. The things Tsuzuru tells Kazunari are soo so sweet sobs. They're just adorable i love those kids. and also i feel you for Kazu he's just that great huh?

The whole set up about Kazu dropping by his room is so so cute! I love it! Like probably the very first time Tsuzuru braces himself because "oh no i'm not in the mood to stand mister hyperenergy himself" but Kazunari quickly adjust his energy so that Tsuzuru can just recharge without being overwhelmed. Yes it would drive Masumi completely nuts. Which i think is a plus for Tsuzuru like, hey, if Masumi gets annoyed once in a while it's a win. But yeah also i think that Tsuzuru and Kazunari should really have the Artistic Soldiarity of Students in Art school Probably Working Until Very Late To Complete Their Projects. Would love if at the end Tsuzuru gave it back yaknow?

but yeah their story was really nice i'm so glad you liked it! :D

oh god yeah Itaru and Citron were SO cute in it too, i also love the comments Citron makes about Itaru's winks. Just there flirting in front of everyone like those two embarrassing friends huh. (probably with Muku being all starry eyes considering he greatly admires both Itaru and Citron and, well, Romance.). And yeah i love how Itaru ends up so much into Citron's rhythm (and this idiom you said? is glorious actually, 10 points for you)

DLKFJDLKF what a call out toward Yuki. "yes i hate Tenma,no i won't shut up about him, also if YOU say you hate Tenma i'm going to stab you with my needles, have a nice fucking day.". I love their dynamics so much aha

And yeah Itaru is there cursing us the whole time with the fact he's the greatest nerd ever and it fits him perfectly. It makes me laugh so hard.

Thank you so much for having shared your thoughts there! it's always a blast to read through them and i dearly enjoyed it! (+ it makes me relive the event a little and it makes me soft!)

I'm so glad you enjoyed it! So glad you had so many thoughts about all of this, what a blast.

thank you for sharing, and looking forward the Autumn/Winter reactions :3c

Take care!

#ichareply #ichafantalks a3 #sonnets of beauty

[hirookouji]

nohebi headcanons!!!

they have this team tradition where the upperclassmen to take the first years to visit the meiji-jingu shrine at the beginning of the year, where they write down their wishes and hang them up on the ema board

daishou dyed his hair green in his second year and the volleyball team all laughed and poked fun but as soon as somebody else said anything mean, they were all ready to Fight™

sakishima actually joked that daishou dyed his hair to match with the team uniform

in reality daishou saw the actor of his favorite tv show dye his hair green, so he wanted to do the same

daishou insists on giving everybody on the team ‘cute’ nicknames

BUT he hates when people give him nicknames, and so he just tells everybody to call him suguru or daishou, and nothinf else

sakijimas rlly inescure abt his freckles and wants them gone but everybody in nohebi is just like ‘????? u dont have enough freckles.... u need MORE freckles’

sakijima always emphasizes that his name is pronounce sakishima, and gets pissed off when its pronounced otherwise

sakijimas for sure a social media stalker and has a lot of blackmail on the third years because of it

takachiho may look innocent but hes actually one of the biggest shits on the team, which works so well for their strategy on the court

takachiho has this kinda nervous tic or tell where he’ll run his hands through his hair and ???? its pretty hot

takachihos always pushing for team bonding activities or like team outings bc he genuinely loves nohebi and wants them to be a close knit team that can work well together on and off of court. and they’re like the brothers that he never got to have!

hiroo and sakijima went to the same junior high and have a really close bond that often comes off as ‘i fucking hate this bitch so much’

hiroo gets confessions from girls a lot but because he is big gay he always declines them

hiroos one of the biggest volleyball nerds on the team and sometimes he writes a bunch of possible rotations and plays in his notebook during school instead of actual schoolwork and thats why his grades r so low

all of the first years are scared of numai at first because he looks so angry and scary all the time but they realize pretty soon that all the other third years are way more loud and obnoxious and annoying than him (but like in a good way)

numai’s probably the most aggressive and confrontational on the team when he reaaally wants to be

throwback to that one time when second yesr numai beat up some guy who was shit talking nohebi and had to talk to a teacher one on one about it

the only one who can get him (and any other nohebi player thats too riled up) to calm down is akama

akama is like 80% of the third years favorite kouhai, except nobody is willing to admit it and akama never says which third year he likes the best

whenever their team practices serves he always receives but he always clowns the ppl who serves poorly bc hes a little shit

seguro rlly thinks hiroo is the best third year ever and everybody else knows that thats complete and utter bullshit but that doesnt stop seguro from looking up and admiring the guy so damn much

seguro even got hiroo to to start teaching him how to do a jump floater before he retired

seguro can give rlly good piggyback rides but hes also constantly scared that hes gonna drop somebody or just collapse entirely

everybody tried their hardest to do something to get kuguri riled up, and for hiroo and sakijima that meant playful teasing, but it never worked and they always ended up getting massively roasted so they just leave him alone

kuguri isnt the type of person to taunt the other side during matches but he makes quiet snide remarks and comments that his teammates hear and repeat, but louder

and often times theyre much better than what everybody else notices or comes up with

the third years started pushing for a new banner with a new motto at the beginning of the year bc it felt a bit too on the nose but the coach like the irony of it so they kept it

hiroo often invites the team over to his house so they can ‘bond,’ but in reality he just wants to play mario kart and mario party and overcooked just to get everybody mad and yelling bc its very funny to him

sakijima and daishou always complain about the colors of nohebi and their school n volleyball uniform because theyre such picky fashionistas and theyre being forced to wear plaid pants and a striped tie and some flashy yellow color—

daishou is adamant about having a team gc on instagram or twitter so they can all keep in touch and send each other funny posts

the team can not (i repeat not) find one singular person that they all find to be conventionally attractive and it is exhausting

seguros always sending pics of attractive ppl in their gc and going ‘? do we stan?’ and there’s always one person that goes ‘no theyre so ugly’

kuguri is secretly a big memelord and likes making memes about certain teachers and events in school and things that happen during practice or games

nohebi rarely gets practice match invites from tokyo teams bc nobody...... nobody rlly likes them..... so they have a lot of connections with schools outside of their prefecture

#nohebi #haikyuu!! #hq!! #daishou suguru #takachiho yoshiya #numai kazuma #sakishima isumi #sakijima isumi #hiroo kouji #seguro akihiko #akama sou #kuguri naoyasu #haikyuu!! headcanons #here are the headcaanons asc #i hope they r sufficient 🥺🥺🙏🏻 #btw the whole sending pics of smbdy to find out if everybody likes them #iS A THING #me n my friends do that and we rlly cant find anybody we all think looks like acceptable #these have been like culminating for four years #tHERES STILL MORE HCS #but like does the post rlly need to be That long #im always scared of publishing my own stuff bc i sont want anybody to read it and go ‘what a dumbass wtf is this shit??? LMAAOOO’ #also bonus: daishou tried dying his hair back to brown bc his coach pointed out that a dude w green hair wouldnt... #...give their team a good reputation or make them look presentable to the refs n audience #but it ended up being a massive fail and he got the weird camo green color he has rn #he couldnt dye it back to brown again bc saki was like ‘yeah no dude ur gonna fuck up ur hair and then yamaka isnt gonna wanna date you’ #and daishou was like ‘fuck!!!!! guess its gotta stay this way forever now!!!’ #if this gets no notes i might cry abt it #also kuguris totally made memes abt daishou before and hes gotten help from saki n takachiho

[gayregis]

if you've read season of storms is it any good? i read a sample and was kind of bored but i don't want to spend money on it if it's going to be like,,,,,,,,,lady of the lake

reading this i was like “wait lady of the lake was good though,” then i paused to actually think about it as a cohesive narrative for a bit, and went “actually wait never mind :/...” it was good thematically, and there were a lot of great scenes, but like as a whole book... if you could only read that book on its own... it would be very long and confusing. i just think lotl’s good because i do the uncivilized thing of skipping around to the parts i like and then i don’t read the parts i dislike

but luckily i have already ranted about season of storms before, and i’ll post that rant here now. for context, i actually read season of storms from cover to cover... yeah.

overall, it's a disorganized and aimless plot. it's set inbetween tlw and sod, so there's no quest to find ciri, because geralt hasnt met ciri yet, he's still our free bachelor geralt. which means hes still quite directionless and when it comes to his personal life it's mostly preoccupied with romance. but more importantly it means the plot is incredibly aimless and NOT PERSONAL to geralt, like all the stories in TLW and SOD and all the saga books revolve around events and people super meaningful to him. what happens in the plot is a whole JUMBLE of things that feel like sidequests from the witcher games, not a story from the witcher books. nothing really means anything for geralt's character development, and it suffers from being so long because there's like a lot of different settings and characters and everything just seems completely thrown together, mashed up, and not coordinated. 

i will admit that baptism of fire & tower of the swallow followed a style of “random encounters” in which geralt and the company traverse on and just interact with whatever they happen to find, but it felt like they were accruing knowledge (and also. members of the company) as they travelled on. in season of storms, it feels like geralt starts over and the entire book resets itself every time there is a new scene. none of the plotlines fit together, so it is just a super confusing and exhausting reading experience, unlike in bof & tos, where you can follow the action quite easily and it’s very pleasant to read because it’s all one continuous storyline.

in addition, all of these mashed up stories are pointless, because they dont END with the reader learning anything about the universe the characters live in or their relationships with each other. we might learn that sorcerers are power-hungry, but we already knew that. we might learn that people are violent and corrupt, but we already knew that. we might learn that geralt loves yennefer, but we already knew that. in the short stories, you learn so much about the world and geralts relationships (for example: we learn so much about the situations surrounding the elves in edge of the world, so it’s worth reading because otherwise you will not understand anything when the scoia’tael show up in blood of elves and later in the saga). and in the saga, this continues and more worldbuilding/relationship building occurs (geralt and ciri’s relationship grows from a question of price and then becomes crazy right around baptism of fire when they’re super linked by destiny). it really doesnt in season of storms. you don’t learn anything meaningful about the world or the characters like in the other witcher books.

another large flaw is that in the stories and saga, sapkowski was really good at creating likeable, enigmatic characters no matter how few pages he had to create them. they were deep and almost lifelike and also usually told a larger message. the NPCs- sorry, "characters" in season of storms are SUPER flat and uninteresting.

coral is h*rny for geralt and jealous of yennefer, like every sorceress ever to exist, pratt is a dick and corrupt, degerlund is corrupt and evil, mosaik is timid, the werewolf guy is JUST THERE, the auguara isn’t super interesting despite being cool, nimue feels flatter as a character than usual, even dandelion- okay actually jk i liked dandelion he was the sunny part of this book AS ALWAYS ... ofc he felt one-dimensional but he usually does so you know, EVEN GERALT feels a little one-dimensional and not his typical introspective self

one of the worst things sapkowski did was [SPOILERS] make the major villain character of the book gay and feminine... like its mentioned SO many times that "ohhhh this is a man that looks like a woman WOW HOW EVIL!" and he literally does the worst things like rip ppl to shreds and want to kill geralt painfully by torture with syringes, also he uses his sexuality to ?? seduce an older sorcerer to be his favorite so he can keep his job as a sorcerer?? 

and OK vilgefortz and bonhart arent complex villains. but theyre despicable and it feels a little deeper bc vilgefortz has that backstory and hunger for power, and bonhart is just terrifying and the embodiment of wretched evil, this guy from season of storms is just annoying and anime villainy like “OOHOHOH watch how i kill you now >:)” also theres a lot of crass humor like fart jokes and villains that are described as really super ugly like omg wow never saw that one coming!!! it just feels super bland and basic and almost like the antithesis of The Witcher as short stories and a saga, super out of place with the rest of the series. [END SPOILERS]

in my opinion, the BIGGEST FLAW with season of storms is that since the plot is so all over the place, and since the characters are so flimsy, the entire book feels meaningless. it feels like it would appease games or netflix fans who just want to read about geralt going on some crazy adventures, and it does serve that purpose, but it is NOT a “book belonging to the witcher series.” it has no depth where there should be... i do not feel like sapkowski is trying to tell me something as a reader about human nature, or the nature of parent-child relationships, or society, or violence and war... 

it just feels like geralt is doing all of this shit just because sapkowski had some remaining ideas and wanted to get all of them out into the world all in the same book, like sewing a vest out of fabric scraps. it was not refined like the witcher saga, because none of them were really meant to fit together anyways, and because they weren’t meant to fit together, there is a distinct lack of message and substance to it.

TLDR: no cohesive narrative and a confusing plot, no deeper underlying message or arguments about humanity or society or nature being made by the author, cheap new side & background characters, no ciri and no yennefer so geralt is quite directionless and stupid

other remarks that are just my personal preferences and comments:

geralt & dandelion:

geralt mostly works alone in this book... which is... not my favorite. this is why i got bored with tw3 after i read the witcher books, because i can’t stand geralt being alone, the world feels so... lonely! although he meets up with dandelion and has an affair with coral in season of storms, most of the book is him waffling about with side and background characters that i couldn’t care less about because sapkowski put no effort into developing them to be enigmatic or at least lifelike and likable (unlike some really minor characters in the witcher saga that, although they were so minor, were incredibly likable: for example, applegatt and toruviel i quite like). 

of course, i also have a preference for when geralt hangs out with dandelion, because it usually creates more of a lighter tone for the scenes and a more humorous nature overall, plus geralt changes his personality to be not in such a bad mood and we get to see him being kind and friendly. so it annoys me that although dandelion has some scenes with geralt, they never really have deep conversations like they do in a little sacrifice, or witty remarks & banter like in the edge of the world... i feel like dandelion was quite in-character for the whole book, which is good, but also, he’s dandelion so he’s pretty easy to get in character. he’s just easy-going, arrogant, preoccupied with earthly delights, cowardly, and friendly to geralt. but it annoyed me that their scenes together were both not very deep, and that they didn’t get as much interaction as i think they deserved. usually in a witcher book or story in which geralt and dandelion have met, they stay by each other’s side for like, the whole book or story, lmao... 

that being said, they do have some fun moments in this book and dandelion has some funny lines which i quite enjoy. like. they are eating at an inn, and the innkeeper asks them “how are you finding the pork?” and dandelion replies, “we’re finding it among the kasha. from time to time. not as often as we’d like to.” and somehow i just find that line so fucking funny... i think it’s just because it’s really relatable

sorcery:

coral is SOOOOO one-dimensional, she really is just like the same character as fringilla vigo or some other sorceress that’s jealous of yennefer for getting to bang geralt, and this lack of characterization is super transparent. people laugh about how many affairs geralt has had, but they never discuss how all of them have been super uneasy and unfulfilling.

already said that i hate degerlund as a character and all of the sorcerers being morally wack is predictable if you’ve read like, anything from the saga about the sorcerer/esses. also geralt talking with sorcerers is like, interesting if the sorcerer in question is vilgefortz, but everyone else is just super boring

other:

i didn’t really like ferrant de lettenhove until the very end of the book (which i won’t spoil) but because of this end, i wished that he got more backstory/development

NIMUE I LOVE YOU and it was nice that nimue got some more backstory in this.

i do enjoy the end of the book. not to say “my favorite part is when it ended,” but it’s true, because the ending in kerack is interesting and full of drama, the moments in the inn are alright if a little void of substance, the ending with geralt and dandelion on horseback is beautiful, and the epilogue with nimue is wistful and beautiful as well.

sheer pettiness:

oh my GOD why are the CHAPTERS so SHORT? it’s like, 20 chapters plus a bunch of interludes and an epilogue, and the book is only 357 pages long. it feels like as soon as i was getting into a scene, it switched to another chapter. i mean, idk whether i prefer this, or the haphhazard long as fuck chapters from baptism of fire where i’m not quite sure when a chapter begins or ends because i memorized the scenes and not when a chapter occurs. 

i dislike how coral is on the cover of it, even though it’s fitting, because if there was a work about... oh idk... the hansa... then angouleme could have been on the cover... and then i could have had geralt + yennefer + ciri + dandelion + the hansa on the covers... like wow that would be cool...

this book would have functioned much better as a series of short stories... i think sapkowski has talent for the short story medium, but novel-length books are more desirable by publishers, but this is literally just a guess, i don’t have anything to back this up

my recommendation: don’t buy it if you are just looking to read the witcher books as in, get a feel for the book canon world and characters. it’s pretty unnecessary for that. do buy it if you are a completionist like me / the witcher is something you’ve been into for years and you’re about to buy all the books as a set and it would feel weird to not have all eight books on your shelf and it’s only like $5 more to buy the set of 8 as compared to the set of 7. don’t read it and expect perfection, it’s basically like “drabbles” but canon from the author. there are like 2 or 3 nice gerlion moments if you care about that.

#ask #season of storms #dandeliyn

[xhuth]

too long dum post about my onions on f/f fan content

last reblog lol thats what so many annoying ppl want out of wuhluhwuh (wooloowoo(wlw)) shit. nothing higher than PG must be soft pure fluffy. “more fluffy!! not enough fluffy!!” shut up

tbh i hate engaging with f/f fan content most of the time bc its usually dumb shit idc about. m/m gets so much more room to be different things and have like. complicated dynamics and shit AND its gay. even if im not attracted to men i much rather read about two of them than a man and a woman most of the time bc hets go against nature [citation: that iconic post about how long men vs how women last in sex proving that homosexuality is what god intended]

but To Be Fair women in a lotta source material (read: shit written by men, which is a lot) are not written well and in a good way that makes me inch rested in them and men are written with so much more depth and interest than women in so much media. and especially less so in their relationships to other women. i put a lot of stock in the source material for shit. so i find myself not caring about many f/f ships because theres rarely a dynamic that has potential so everything is just. pure fan stuff or ooc or whatever. combined with the whole weird uwu culture around f/f making anything that exists not palatable to me. [see: my ao3 f/f bingo chart lmfao] whereas men and their relationship to other men get a lot of room to have nuance. BUT stuff written by women are so often notably better like even making het good. see: beastars, and dorohedoro (from what i hear about it) extra postulating about danganronpa under cut

thinking specifically abt danganronpa here in this post bc current hyper fixation lol. thats why im so into komahina bc theyre both actually interesting characters with a complicated relationship and i love conflict and that shit. but its very popular and theres a lot of content so its also like... availability statistic or w/e and i actually have an opportunity to be picky with content rather than eating any scraps i can find. theres v little (good) f/f bait in dr imo and what there actually is is boring as hell to me and anything that COULD be interesting has little to go off of. dr1, sakuraoi v cute but thats mostly what it is... cute... ppl dont explore the dynamic.  celesgiri seems cool but has little to go off of. dr2, whatever mahiru/hiyokos ship name is idk v straightforward and not too inch resting. ibuki is perfect girl love material but nothing with her feels right or interesting. JUNKO/MIKAN GOOD but everyone is afraid to write that bc its fucked up lol. love tokomaru at least

im not a big v3 fan but it does have much better women at least LOLLL also i follow an artist who genderbends a lot of charas to be f/f and i loves it so fucking much it makes so many more ships palatable. het fuyupeko? disgosting. hate it. awful. put it in the garbage. f/f fuyupeko? oh my god. het saimatsu? meh ok sometimes appealing. f/f saimatsu? incredible. amazing. actually most f/f kaede ships r good she has some fat dyke vibes. and then already good m/m ships are equally good f/f, f!komahina is cool and its nice 2 have those character traits of theirs (being weird and fucked up) expressed in girls who usually do not get to be written that way. Sorry For Talking About Shipping i swear to god my life is not centered around shipping i promise. ok end post. 

[eiderflower]

the guy who diagnosed me with asd put on the report that i lacked imagination and idrk if i agree w/ that

it frustrated me bc he handed me a kids picture book and asked me to look at it and tell him what was happening. so i did. i went thru and told him what was happening on each page. and if anything thats just an example of me being quite a literal person (which is common for autistic ppl so i gather). he ought to have asked me to tell the story as if i was reading it to a kid or s/t. in hindsight i realise this was probably more what he was getting at but ofc i didnt have space to think about it when being put on the spot. the way questions are phrased has often caused problems for me bc there are different ways of interpreting things and i dont always understand immediately what ppl are actually asking. it was annoying in school bc i would get lower marks than i was capable of bc the teacher was like oh i actually meant more like x not y, even though i almost always ask for clarification nowadays

he also gave me a bag of random objects and asked me to use 3 of them to tell a story and id really love to know how anyone could make a coherent story out of objects like playing cards, pencils, rubber bands, a sponge, a cocktail umbrella, a toy car, etc. he said my story was disjointed and odd like ya no shit

idk it was just weird. maybe i do lack imagination, but i dont think that was a very effective way of evaluating someone, especially an adult

one other thing he put that perplexed me is that i didnt speak to him while he was writing notes ?? if someone started talking to me while i was writing it would take longer to finish & prob annoy me as it would break my focus. he said okay im just going to take a moment to write notes about what we just discussed and i perceived that as my cue to be quiet and give him a second to write b4 we continued. i prob wouldnt have said anything even if i thought i was free to speak anyway bc i didnt think it was necessary to force smalltalk in an environment where theyre supposed to understand that you might not do that stuff naturally. i mean maybe he was just noting that i didnt chat to him but i thought it was silly to expect anyone to speak at that particular moment

#just waffling about a bit of the assessment

[queencryo]

@silly-go-round is asleep right now.

i guess i should make a journal for the past few days. as good a time as any. as AMY. heh. cuz shes super good and amazing. heh.

uh...... lessee.... for the two days after the last journal i just. hung out at the house while silly worked. i managed to not keep her in bed and make her late the second day. hung out a lot, watched more adventure time, worked on my tumblr filter script (lie. i judt ran it on my main. 200 posts / day is a bitchhhh) , played a good amount of ds3 (to pointof tetris effect at a couple points the nexg few days)

also did some like. helpful tasks. washed some dishes (undone quicklu, but. eh). not enough, mot as much as i shouldve, but... i tried i guess.

alao we've like. said the same thing at the dame time a Lot while ive been here and its like. nice. its really nice. same wavelength! i feel so close go her.

oh! alxo night before last we went grocery shoping. got food for prolly enoygh for the two weeks, but i guess we'll see. also a cheesecake! it was.... echausting. hily fuck it was exhaysting. jesus. the store was big and it took like 3 hours and $200 to get everything but. we did itttt.

we both mentionef that like. it felt nice to like. have a full fridge 2gether. cuz. it feels like were gonna have a futjre togetjer? u know. like that is. i love her a lot and it feels good for this to feel like a home for a little while. we hope that it can be so in tbe future.

so YESTERDAY she finally FINALLY taught me how to play magic the gathering. it was. a long time coming. but she brought me into the store and like. sat me down w some regulars and had me play commander. i played moooostly her snake deck, so like.that was fun!! i kept talki g about how i woulda gotten lorescale Coatl up to 39/39 and flying, had i like. gotten q more turn. but on that game D was running a mill deck that was. extremely long to play (that game took like ~>2 hours ugh), and was very bery annoying, so i didnt get to actually do that.

but it was fun! part of me wants to blog everything, but i dont think i will.

im glad to be able to use silly's decks, bc i dont think i want to make my own. im considering making a cheap angel deck or smth, but we'll see if yhat actually ends up happening.

i also met her girlfriend Iz, who is sweet. i played magic w her fkr a while, which was fun! she was runni g an annoying mono black deck (i kkow all these... these Terms and Words now, its incredible...)

shes sweet and i think i like her. dunno if enough to date yet (which makes me Partially regret flirting w her so much in the groupchat but. hey)

talked w her some, mostly about magic, hung out while silly closed the store, pet her cat, silly discovered that cyddling w TWO girlfriends is very nice (not rhat id know ;;;;;;;), was good times. i dont think im as comfy w izzy physically yet as i may have implied in messages, which hopefully wull be rectified by the message i just sent her (my initial physical comfort with people varies, it depends very much on the person)

skip forward, me and silly make a pizza at home cuz were fuckin tired, she admonishes me for not eating for uh... like 11 hours or smth (that mornings bagel was VERY good tho omg), but adderall, so like... meh.

uh... i dont think anything else on yesterday...

today! we waaamted to go to the store at like. 2. but in actuality got there at like! 330.

i went back to sleep cuz im a losenerd, and she. made this breakfast casserole thing. which hse put into a bagel abd brought to me bc i guess shes the best person on the entire earth oh my GOD. jesus

skip... apparently she knows maximum the hormone and doesnt like them very much... fair fair. (cause for xeath)

came to the store agai. tofay. it was fun and good. iz didnt come in today, do played some more with regulars. played w what is apparently called a blink deck, which revolvea arounf exiling cards then immediately bringing them back, to capitalize on "when this enters battlefield, do smth" cards. neat!

i DID actually manage to win today!!! the victory was. literally handed to me, but like. thats fine! i was playing silly's uhhh... elintor the masked? idr her name :( the mask planewalker! deck, which. i had SO much land, most of wh8ch was enchanfed. meaning it could be tapped then untapped w eljntor's thing, then tapped again for DOUBLE MANA. i mean. i had like 9/turn even b4 that but. BUT. i also had. i think i drew 3 creatures total. bit anyway. i had the white card that gave me a life whenever a creature was put on tge board (and also, w another enchantment, made all non-me creagurss and enchantments enter the board tapped, so. nya). so... rob had a card what dealt one damGe to all other players whenevr he puta. creature on the board. then he played united forces, which lets each player commit X mana to create X 1/1 soldier tokens on all players' boards. so. we made 28 white soldier tokens on everyones board. this killed perry, ans gave me, uh. 56 life (84 - 28). i then attacked ron for 28 w the soldiers, and drew sacred mesa, which lets me sacrifice 2 mana (1 any color, 1 white, but i had so many cards that said "this land can instead be tapped for 2 of any color, so like. ueah) to create a 1/1 flying pegasus token. so i. ended the game w 44 white 1/1 tokens. goblins get fucked.attack w my ssoldiers cuz his were tapped, so brought him down to 7 life. i didng catch what he did w the enchantment, but i think he said he like. put a copy of every creature on my side of the board onto his board, and then. cipying that enchantment 3 times. so. holy FUCK. wow. BUT those all came in tapped and i had 18 flying yokens, so. i still won! yay!!!! i won a game of magic!!!!!

goblin decks scare me. stop running krenko you fucks. exponential goblins goddamn

silly would come by every so often and like. look over my dhoulder and say "oh that was dumb whyd u use fabricate for thay" which is fair. but also god i love her. (i used fabricate for a mana generator insteaf of lightning greaves. whateverrrr) i love her so much dear god. i wish i coukd help w the store more, but. on the same time i also. dont enjoy working. so. maybe part time.

hm. what ekse. oh yeah i kove her so much.

by the end of the night it was just. me and her, rob and the two regulars i started out llaying w yestwrday. theyre sweet, i like them. theyre married. the dude calls me honey smtimes, which is. kinda weird? dunno how i feel about that. i guess fine. its gender-nice, but still a lil uncomfy. otherwise i like em fien, though. but they talked abouy moving into sillys apt. so thats cool!! better than her current (awful, terrible, lazy / horrifically depressed / manchild roomate, who doesnt clean ever) roomate. i was reading the monster of the week gamebook thruout, which i... bought, for some reason. idk. oh also i wanna make a fallen angel divine, because im... predictableeee. also a conspiracy thworist whos just a trans woman w way too much time and really weird hobbies (throwing knices, butterfly knife, net friends, etc). also a spooky. i speny like. 3 hours reading thr7 the monster of the week book while ppl played magic around me. i kinda wish i hadnt bought it, but hey! its neat c:

oh, also i didnt take adderall today. i dont think it went toooo bad, i think i like. was meaner and less thohghtful with what i said, but like. i guess thats better than feared. i took a caffeine pill (200mg) at ariund 10 which is. prolly why im wide awake right now. i regret doing that, sincr from what shes said tmos gonna be big)

she says we gotta be at her moms by 4, for reasons she WONT TELL ME. bit she says its part of one of her plans, i ASSUME the romantic one? im kind of afraid that ill like. no-sell it unwillingly because im abroke and soulless human being, but uh. i guess rhats thw risks we take to be alive :shrug: im excited. were also going to a shop (diff one) tmo, which im Quite excited for, as ive only been in similar shops by accident before. also doing laundry!!! which is important ^_^

oh ysah. so we got white castle on the way home. its. yeah she was r8ght. mediocre-at-best sliders. onions are bad.

we also made a pizza. whifh i ate most of. i overate. sob.

she fell asleep halfway thry an episode of nailed it. cant blame her, she seemed really tired. i hipe i dont disturb her rwst. and i feel so utterly blessed thay i can be around her.

ih!! i also fell down the last few staies ywstersay. bruised my arms, but otherwise fine. it was. idk, it is nice to knoe that others worry fir me and like me. she was very concerned. i love her.

#blog #ohio trip 2 #journal

[abcdosaka]

class started 2 days ago. im actually caught up. amazing. im going to maintain this momentum. i have to if i want to get a part time job. hopefully that co-op guy responds to my email and if he says yes, then i will try and apply for something part time.

im also staying at home longer than i expected. thought id hate it because my family are just assholes but honestly, i clean and do the laundry and i feel like thats enough. theyre not gonna get mad at me for not cooking bc im doing all the other shit anyway. the only annoying thing is i have no space to smoke weed. im probably going to the library tmr in which case ill purchase vape cartridges otw back maybe bc at least those smell good. but they dont get u as high ugh.

wait i wanted to do a life update. what else....watched no way home. eh not that good. i thought itd be better. for some reason i didnt really care about aunt may that much, like marisa tomei is a really good actress but i just didnt care. the ending was so sad though like fucking seriously.... i liked the ending but it was just really really sad. my ranking of mcu spiderman movies: homecoming > no way home >= far from home. but idk i liked far from home a lot but the twist was pretty stupid. everything else was good though. and no way home just had a stupid plot catalyst, the rest was decent. so those two are about equal really.

i maybe got covid. i feel like i did since i had a terrible fever like 2 weeks ago and then my dad was sick last week and now my moms feeling symptoms (and she got a flu shot). wanna see if i can get a test tomorrow. if its been two weeks ill probably test negative though... ya idk. i wont lie i did not quarantine perfectly. i had to go out on the 23rd (had a really bad headache but had to go all the way to *** return my laptop) and on the 26th to actually move all my stuff to the new place. i havent really talked to ppl but i did go to the library on the 5th (technically yesterday) and went thrifting today. and ya tmr i want to go to the library again because ireally do need to do this fuckhead report. im doing a fucking self study fuck it.

my gums are crazy senstiive lately. i bought a different brand of toothpaste recently and i think its colgate (something to do with gums) to help but it made it worse and it tastes fucking vile, so i had to buy sensodyne today. i guess sensodyne has a numbing effect or something bc it wasnt nearly as bad today. i dont fucking know why this is happening. im really good about brushing my teeth. i brush twice a day and floss at night and wear my nightguard. tbh i miss a day or two but never more than like once every two weeks and i do drink tea but rarely soda, i dont really have sugary stuff or fast food super often (but a lot of my food is fried). in any case i used to be totally fine and then like a week ago it just got horrible. the only thing i have in recent memory that might have contributed is that i drank a full soda (with a straw), i got my period, and i started taking vitamin c and d. i feel like its probably the vitamin c. ok ill stop taking the chewable tablets and see if that helps at all

[unproduciblesmackdown]

Im Enthusiastic But You Wouldnt Know It

man sometimes when the concept of ppl like succeeding w some Passion of theirs on whatever scale...im like man im depressed what with being depressed and not even always enjoying enjoying things. i mean like i cant even imagine being in a line of work where its what you want to do. not like the Achieving Your Dreams career is the most common experience. i dont even have dreams which is what makes it so difficult to think of working towards ur aspirations and reaching it, but tbh...that also reminds me how we shouldnt have to think of the professional career as the only way for someone to pursue fulfillment or achievement or whatever. the non-passion lines of work should be tolerable and the workday shouldnt consume ppls entire lives so that they cant have a meaningful existence outside of it w other pursuits.......

anyways the point is im kind of an enthusiastic person who likes to do things and really get into a project when its something i’m into....it is just precious few times i remember that kind of thing coming up at all. and if it’ll ever be relevant again i cant even guess how

its like how socially i actually can really love to be with a group of ppl or in noisy busy shit like concerts or other similar events...i can actually be really talkative...i like to talk and laugh and do fun shit w ppl and all but it doesnt come up much bc ive never had a large friend group and the ones i do tend to be rly scattered and its hard for me to see ppl in person ever, much less regularly. in my head im like yeah a friend group where u can all just sit around some porch or parking lot and talk about whatever and everyone likes each other...but thats never been the reality for me so im just making it up, good luck to me with that little project

anyways its kind of funny that im a fairly passionate and energetic and even in some ways outgoing person when life didn’t really allow for even me to see that for ages and ages and rn because of the fact that i’d like to die and am around nobody and such, like its not like i talk ever and i dont have it in me to do much of anything

like, it sucks i dont ever get to use the drive i can have for things b/c i know it can be fun. and frankly since the friendship ring thing isnt very realistic i also really just like to go to shit on my own and mingle w strangers and just do my own thing b/c i feel more able to be myself like that anyways, usually. just showing up and doing whatever. anyhow what im saying is i know what it feels like to enjoy the fact im enthusiastic about things and way more often than not, including now, i dont get to use that

idk what i’d be all that enthusiastic being involved in now. idk. but itd be nice if i felt like i had the chance to find out. and even tho its absurd to decide ppl should know Their Dreams and Passions like by the time theyre in high school, itdve been nice to feel like i could explore my interests and be myself freely and safely, like, ever back in those earlier times. i DID draw back then, which is what gave me a leg up to be drawing more later, but even now drawing itself isnt really my interest or anything i have any goals around

its annoying bc theres no reason then or now for me not to be able to be the way i enjoy being or enjoy things in general, such as existing....like it makes me angry actually that theres something so unnecessary as me having to have all these days i dont want to be alive or continue being alive, and how unnecessary it was all the years i couldnt Be Myself or try things freely or figure out what i liked or wanted to do

and like i also know i can do shit if im in a situation where i actually can. not like thats the only reason i should be able to not be miserable, is if i think it could be useful enough for other people. and like i dont think im special, its shit coz im absolutely not and theres a crap ton of ppl who also dont have a Personal Passion element in their lives b/c its all a matter of situation and opportunity and resources and all that stuff...it sucks i guess the end

#maybe you’d probably know it b/c i can be worked up enough to Post Something #but irl ppl tend to only think im quiet and have no opinions or even ideas and its like haha...in correct........ #i Dont Say Things bc i know i have too much to say or im too pissed w what someone else said not to say as much #theres a lot of things that seem interesting / that seem that i could be good at #and the idea that i could right now be really enjoying working on something or other makes me upset... #like man it upsets me just remembering that i shouldnt have to feel so pissed abt being alive every day #some ppl just never have to feel that way ever and im out here never going without Dread and Misery and Frustration liiike #this is not necessary and i know that it’s actually fun and nice to Feel Nice Feelings. and i dont have reason to baselessly expect my life #to shift in that direction where that’s what’ll become normal and avg for me so remembering what its like to feel them is just #another bad feeling #sigh!!