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gators-aid · 3 months

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decode (pt. 2) - toji f. x reader

previously titled: leave us

masterlist.

part one. | part three.

you and toji fushiguro have been in an on-again-off-again relationship all throughout high school. over the summer break after graduation, you find out you're pregnant. too bad toji has already skipped town after your last breakup.

tags: fem!reader, gun violence, harassment, physical violence, mention of domestic abuse (not between toji & reader), teen pregnancy (reader and toji are both 18-19 range), mentions of abortion, mentioned that toji sold drugs, americanized setting, non sorcerer universe, 00's setting, reader is megumi's mom, toji initially denies megumi is his, i aged up gojo, geto, and shoko so you can have some frens, exes to lovers (eventually), their relationship is toxic rn, not beta read we die like toji :(

wc: 2.7k

4 years later..

You pull Megumi’s hat over his ears to protect them from the cold and squeeze his body closer in your arms. “My mom can’t watch him today, she’s got a doctor's appointment. Shoko and Geto are working right now, too! I promise he won’t cause any trouble. He can sit in a booth while I’m working. Pleeeease, Nanami! You know he’s a good kid!” You beg your boss. He looks down at you and your son, contemplating which rules this would violate.

It’s Gojo who comes to your defense.

“Come on Nanamiiii, I can help her keep an eye on him! You won’t have any problems, my Megumi is the sweetest little thing, aren’t you baby? Aren’t you?” He leans over to squeeze Megumi’s cheek until Megumi turns his head into your chest to escape Gojo’s teasing.

Gojo had taken up working at the diner with you after he dropped out of college on account of, “My family has enough money for me to never have to work again. Why would I waste it in college when I can spend my youth working a minimum wage job for fun?”

You and Shoko had punched him in the face for that one.

“Any disruptions to the customers and you’ll have to figure something else out, Y/N. This is a one time thing. Gojo, don’t let the kid be a distraction to you. You need to stop forgetting you have tables all the time.” You smile and give Gojo a victory high five. “Are you excited to spend the day with mama, Megumi?”

Megumi had turned four a couple of weeks ago. You two now lived in your own modest apartment. It was close to your mother’s house and your job. Usually your mother would keep Megumi for you during work hours, and when that wasn’t available Gojo, Geto, or Shoko would help you out. With all four contenders busy, there was no choice but for you to bring Megumi with you to work. Babysitters and daycare were out of the question on your salary of shitty tips. You could barely afford the apartment. The only way you could get furniture into it was on a loan from Gojo (which he refused to let you pay back).

You, Nanami and Gojo walk into the back of the building through the kitchen to punch in. “Our little Megumi’s gonna be joining us today!” Gojo announces to the kitchen staff, mainly comprised of high school students and Hakari. You hear various coos as you walk Megumi through the kitchen. “Can you say ‘hi,’ baby?” You whisper to Megumi through his knitted hat.

He pulls his face from the interior of your sweater and meekly waves to the staff, who all burst into bright smiles. There had been a few times your mother had brought Gumi to the diner to see you during hours, meaning the staff had not only heard of, but had seen Megumi around quite a bit.

Megumi, unlike his father, was incredibly shy and quiet even for his young age. He was one of the best babies you could ever ask for. He cried of course, even had a nasty case of colic when he was little, but on average he cried far less than a normal kid. For a while you were concerned, bringing him to every doctor your insurance would allow to get second opinion after second opinion. Their conclusion? It’s just his personality.

"It seems like he cried all his tears out during his first couple of weeks!" One doctor had joked. Yeah, so had you.

Every time you looked at Megumi, you saw Toji. Their resemblance was undeniable. Sometimes it felt as if he hadn’t inherited a single genetic trait from you. Some days, it made you more sad than others. You hadn’t seen any baby pictures of Toji, didn’t think his family even owned any, but if you had to guess, Megumi had to be the spitting image. You’d see old classmates you hadn’t talked to in years only for them to comment on how much they resembled each other. Not knowing about you and Toji's dramatic breakup.

You and Gojo punch in and take off your coats to hang them up on the rack. Yuki, one of your newer coworkers, bursts through the door with a few empty water glasses. “Agh, thank god you two are here!” She exclaims, setting them down by the sink. “I’ve got this table of guys that are driving me batshit. The kitchen guys don’t get it. I need a freakin’ break.”

You giggle at her and take off Megumi’s hat from where you’re holding him on your hip. “I can take the next one!” You hang up Megumi’s hat next to your coat. “Just let me get him situated.” Yuki gasps and runs over to you. “Hi Megumi! I’ve heard so much about you! It’s nice to meet you, I’m Yuki! Oh my god, Y/N he’s so freakin’ cute!” She exclaims.

Gojo and Yuki get to talking shit about her table while you walk out onto the floor to choose a booth for Megumi to sit. You choose the one furthest from the door and closest to the kitchen and set him down on a side where you’ll be able to see him clearly for the majority of your shift. “Okay Gumi, I’m gonna be working but I’m gonna come over and check on you a lot too, okay?” You set your bag next to him and pull out a few toys and a coloring book. “I’ll get the kitchen guys to sneak you some food, okay?” He nods and grabs a blue crayon from his half empty box. “Okay, mama.” He replies in the sweetest voice you've ever heard.

You give him a kiss on his forehead and move a piece of his hair behind his ear before moving to the other side of the booth and adjusting your waist apron. “Y/N, you got table three.” Yuki announced. You looked behind you to see Gojo and Yuki approaching Megumi’s table. “Megumiiiii! What are you coloring?�� Gojo slid into the seat next to Megumi and his toys.

“How many?” You asked Yuki. “Just two.” She responded, “The one guy’s hot, maybe you could get laid tonight.” You scoffed. “First of all, don’t say shit like that on the floor when we have customers who may hear you.” You give her a pointed look, “secondly, you’re too young to be talking about intercourse. You’re like twelve.” You smile at her and turn around to go greet your table.

“I’m literally 18!” Yuki exclaims as you walk away.

“Exactly the point!” Gojo responds for you.

You pull out your server book as you approach your table and click your pen. “Hi, I’m Y/N, welcome to-” when you look up, you freeze.

First, you see Jinichi, Toji’s brother. When your eyes move over to the other side of the booth, you see him in the flesh for the first time in five years.

He’s looking down at the table, so you can’t see his face, but from his build alone you can see he’s almost doubled in muscle mass since you last saw him. His hair is longer, bangs falling over his eyes, and he sports a black muscle tee to show off how much he has bulked up over the years. He's intentionally avoiding your gaze.

All the feelings you’ve felt over these five years, anger, rage, resentment, loss, pain, sadness. They all come rushing back at once. Five years of wondering what he was up to while you stayed up with Megumi as a newborn when he had colic and wouldn’t stop crying for almost a month straight. As you operated on auto pilot and almost cried when you saw him smile again. As you cared for him through his first flu, which you had eventually caught too. Rushing him to the hospital for a slight rise in temperature as your mother convinced you over the phone that everything would be okay and you sobbed hysterically. When Megumi took his first steps, when he said his first word. You always thought of Toji.

How would he have reacted? You may not have trusted him, but you don’t think he’d be a particularly bad father if he were to put in the effort. Every time Megumi smiles, every time he frowns, it looks like Toji has walked right back into your life. When you two talked about kids, it was never very serious. You always talked about the idyllic. How many you’d have, what their names would be, if you’d move out to the countryside so they’d have space to play. You never discussed how you wanted to raise them, how you two would afford it, if Toji would stop dealing.

“Well, well, fucking well!” Jinichi starts. “This is just fucking hilarious!” You can see Toji tense up where his elbows rest on the table. Jinichi leaned back in his seat looking back and forth between you and Toji. “High school fucking sweethearts! Look at this shit, Toji, that's your girl right there! Hey Y/N-” Before Jinichi can finish his sentence, Toji bangs his hands on the table, making the condiment bottles rattle loudly, and bringing the entire restaurant's attention towards the three of you. Toji mumbles something under his breath that you can’t pick up. You’re still physically frozen in place.

Jinichi had always been an asshole. Toji didn’t like you to go over to his house for multiple reasons relating to his family, but one of the major ones was because of his brother. Jinichi always had a smart mouth. Liked to put dumb ideas in Toji’s head, one of which was the one that eventually got him shot and bleeding out on your bedsheets.

“Ahh, come on little brother. You’re so intense nowadays. We’re here for a good ol-”

“We’re here for fucking business, Jinichi. Shut the fuck up. We don’t want nothin’.” Toji says, finally addressing you without even looking your way. You feel someone grab onto your shoulder and quickly turn to see Gojo. He gently pulls you away from the table.

“I- I didn’t-” you begin, before Gojo can even get you five feet from the table, Jinichi is back at it. “Hey, what the hell, don’t take my waitress! I ain’t ordered nothin’ yet! Hey Y/N, you look good by the way! Usually girls get ugly after they have babies!”

It’s so sudden and quick that if you weren’t five steps away, you wouldn’t have seen it at all. Toji leans over the table, somehow calmly and aggressively at the same time, to grab his brother by the collar of his shirt. “That’s enough. Don’t make me fucking tell you again.” He says, his tone quiet and deadly.

All you can think about is Megumi, where the fuck is Megumi? He’s your priority right now. Your head whips toward Megumi’s table, where you see Yuki with her hand on Megumi’s shoulder as he watches you intensely.

“Fuck. Gumi.” You whisper to yourself.

You pull away from Gojo’s grasp to race toward your son. “Mama..” he whispers as you reach him and pull him tightly into a hug. “It’s okay honey. Don’t worry about it.” You firmly grasp the back of his neck to ground yourself. This is exactly why you had said all those things you said to Toji all those years ago. You didn’t want your child growing up in an unstable environment. You didn’t want Toji’s issues to be a cause of stress for yourself or for Megumi. It'd be slightly different if these were two random guys in the diner. Sure, you'd shield Megumi if it got intense, but the fact that one was his father made the hair on the back of your neck stand up at the slightest movement.

“You look sad mama. Did the big men hurt you?” You laugh at his innocence. “No, baby. They didn’t hurt me.” They did hurt you. In a deep emotional way that you didn’t feel like explaining to a four year old right now. “Let's go honey, little kids shouldn’t see this.”

“I’m a little kid, right?” He asks. “Yes, you are.”

“What the hell is going on?” You hear a booming voice come from the kitchen door and see Nanami walking towards Toji’s table. “Nothings going on!” Jinichi yells. “You know how the little brothers are, always got a goddamned inferiority complex goin’ on or somethin’!” Toji still has a grasp on his shirt as Jinichi is yelling at Nanami.

“I’m going to have to ask you two to leave.” Nanami says calmly. “I ain’t fucking leaving. I came here for some fuckin’ service from my brother’s old-” Suddenly, Jinichi’s head is being slammed onto the table, and a collective gasp is aroused from the restauraunt.

“Come, Gumi.” You pick him up in your arms. “Yuki, can you pack his stuff up for me please?” You ask as you contemplate your next move. “Of course, of course.” You can’t head to the front or kitchen door without Gumi potentially seeing more violence. You would have to rush past in the hopes that nothing else happens while you’re moving by. The kitchen door is closer from here, less potential for Megumi to see anything.

“Ok, Gumi. Can you close your eyes for me real quick, baby?” You ask, rubbing his back. “Ok, mama.” You move Megumi so that his face is pressed to your chest and book it toward the kitchen door. You hear more commotion as you pass by, but will yourself not to turn around and check. Gojo and Yuki follow you in from behind with your bag. When you’re in the kitchen, you’re quick to set Megumi on the ground to grab his hat and secure it on his head.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N, I never would’ve given you that table if I knew.” She apologizes as she hands you your bag. You laugh. “It’s not your fault Yuki. By the way, remember what I said about no intercourse? You wanna implement that policy because of fuckers like him-” “Mama!” Megumi chastises. “Sorry, bad word.” Yuki lets out a relieved sigh.

“I didn’t even see them walk in, Y/N-” Gojo starts. “Oh my gosh guys, it's not a big deal! Seriously, I’m just worried about Gumi seeing anything.” Even as you say this, your hands shake as you attempt to zip up Megumi’s coat. Gojo gives you a knowing look and grabs your own coat off the rack for you.

“I just, um, need a little break. I can’t afford to lose out on the money tonight.” You say, grabbing your coat from him and sliding it on. “I’ll cover you-” Gojo starts, but you interrupt. “I’m not taking money from your family, Gojo!” You pick up Megumi and hold him on your hip. “I’m not saying that. I’ll split the tips from tonight with you. My apology for not seeing them before.”

“No, Gojo.”

Nanami walks in the kitchen door. “Take the day off,” he says to you before walking back to his office. “No, Nanami I’m ok I’ll just take him to my mom’s really quick-”

“You’re too shaken up to do anything else today. I’ll schedule you more next week to make up for it.” Nanami supplies. “Thank you.” You say, silently relieved. Was your distress seriously that obvious? You would have to tone it down in front of Gumi.

“Wooow Nanami you’re such a good manager-”

“Can it Gojo, you’re gonna have to pick up the slack tonight.”

You’re already making your way out the back of the building when Gojo responds with a whine.

“Hey what the hells going on out there?” Hakari asks as you walk by. “Some bullshit.” You respond. “Mama!”

You weren’t even in the building for thirty minutes today, but it feels thirty degrees cooler when you walk out. The trek to the bus stop is gonna suck.

It's a ten minute walk from the diner to the bus stop. You cling onto Megumi for warmth, making sure he's buried not only in his own coat, but in yours. When you get to the bus stop, you realize it’s gonna be another fifteen minutes before the bus comes. Megumi isn’t one to complain, but you can feel him shivering under you. “Just a little longer baby.” You soothe him, rapidly rubbing his back and arms in an attempt to warm him.

It must be some sick joke for an old pickup truck to pull right in front of the bus stop and roll its window down.

“Do you need a ride?” Toji asks.

You've gotta be fucking kidding.

part two is up! thanks so much for all the love on the first on! 70 notes is crazy!

pls send requests or questions to me! and also let me know if i missed anything in the tags!

thank you guys !!!

(i'll make a masterlist maybe when pt 3 goes up but im too lazy rnnnnnn)

#toji fushiguro x reader #toji fushiguro #toji x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader

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multifariousqueer · 10 months

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Yandere Miles Morales( 42 & 1610) headcannons

A/n: Okay, so I’ve been thinking about it a lot and I was wondering, if the Miles’ were yanderes, which ones would they be?? So, here are my headcannons/Drabbles on the Miles as yanderes

Warnings: Yandere behavior, toxicity, stalking, possessiveness, manipulation,

Miles Morales(1610)

Our miles is definitely the stalker/manipulative Yandere

When Miles found out where your dorm was, it was over for you.

He would come by your house every night and watch you sleep before and after going on patrol

Memorized your entire schedule and your dorm location before you two actually met because he was so infatuated with you

I feel like this man says that y’all are gonna get married even before y’all start talking. Like he’s telling Ganke that you two are gonna get married

“Dude, does she even know you exist”

“Yes. She glanced my way and she was wearing Jordan’s identical to mine”

“That doesn’t mean anything man”

It means everything to him

When y’all do start talking, he moves really quickly. Like he’s holding your hand on the first date and calling you his girlfriend on the third

You mostly got with him because you felt bad but he manipulates you into having feelings for him

He’s very persuasive tbh

He makes a good impression on your family and everyone is convinced that y’all are going to get married

When he reveals himself as Spider-Man, all hope is out the window of being safe

It doesn’t matter what you say or do, In his mind, you two are in love and you’re gonna be together forever

If you give him an inch, he’ll take a mile.

Will try to separate you from your family and friends

Will start dressing you up like a doll

If you try to fight back, he’ll just say “calmate Mami. It’s okay, I’m here and we’re gonna be together and have kids and we can wear matching clothes and everything will be okay”

If you disagree with something, he’ll just say, “it’s fine, I just thought you loved me” and will make you feel like shit for not going with his flow

If you go crazy enough on him, he will just web you up and kiss you until you calm down

Earth 42! Miles

Earth 42! Miles is the possessive/ crazy Yandere

Will just not let you leave the house alone and he will not let you go anywhere

If you end up in his dimension and you look like his s/o that died, forget it.

This man is not above kidnapping. Like Yk that box from You that Joe kept Beck in? Yeah, he’d build that for you

“Where do you think you’re going, Mami?”

Will not let you wear your own clothes, especially in public

He would spoil you and use it as leverage

“You think that cabròn would buy you that, hm? Nah princesa, I do that. I take care of you”

He forces you to be dependent upon him

“Oh, princess you need something, hm? You need food? You’re hungry? Let me get you some food”

This man has prowler advantages. Like he could kill anyone and no one would know but you

Will give you everything you want but it always comes with a price

“I’ll get you that necklace, mi amor if you promise me that you’ll stop listening to your friends and family’s opinions about me” “sì Papi”

Has a tracker on you at all times in the off chance he lets you leave

Hates your friends and family because they don’t like him

Will isolate you from everything and everyone you know until you’re nothing but his piece of clay, ready for his moulding

This man would kill anyone that came too close to you

Yeah lmk if there’s any that I missed 🩷

Divider- @firefly-graphics

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sickeninglyshoujo · 2 months

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a/n: finally finished this after being left such an essay about dad!price by @connorsui that made me want to cry with joy that someone liked my silly rambling that much so now have dad!johnny

part 1: simon here

part 2: price here

part 4: gaz here

masterlist here

buy me a ko-fi

warnings: pregnancy

word count: 1.7k

Soap has always told you that he wanted a house full of babies with you and will not take no for an answer

You rolled your eyes everytime thinking he's exaggerating but he never was.

He tells you so during your romps “Gannae pump you full of babies, mama” With any other man it would ruin the moment but the way soap snarls it out sends heat spiraling through you and having you begging him to cum inside. He’ll wear the condom if you ask him to, but he won’t bring it out on his own volition. He knows you’re the person he wants to build a family with, has known since the first date when you rolled your eyes at all his corny jokes and groaned in mock pain.

Soap will not heed doctor’s advice and tries to palm at you before you’re ready, not even caring when you whine about things not being tight and firm like they used to be

“You’re positively bonnie lass, even more now that I know those stretch marks came from our baby that you carried for me.”

Feral for a man who calls me mama

Soap will absolutely come up behind you and grab at your flesh every time you put the baby down for a nap, “Cannae help myself lass,” he��d pant as he’s rutting against you, a man possessed, “You’ve been teasing me all day!” Even though you don’t recall doing so

You’d been taking care of the baby all morning and hadn’t paid much mind to your hyper husband as he flitted around doting on you and the little one. Little did you know that’s what he meant. Seeing you be such a good mom and a mom to HIS baby had gotten him rock hard

It was tough for him to get through your pregnancy because each time he looked at your growing belly he got turned on

“Johnny I’m already pregnant you know, we don’t have to keep trying,” you teased every time his hands began to wander down below your hips.

“Ah cannae help it, mama, you’re glowing!” He mutters trying to nuzzle under your shirt

Asked the doctor explicitly if pregnancy sex would hurt the baby.

“Johnny!” You hissed

“Need to know if I have to behave myself for nine months lass”

Thankfully the good-humored doctor laughed at his requests. Johnny listened intently as the doctor discussed the pros and cons of both the act and different positions with his chin resting on intertwined fingers. Soap asked question after question about your limitations much to your horror.

Once the appointment was over and you two were safely confined into your flat again, his hands were on you before the door had even closed.

“You heard the doctor's orders, Mama.”

You laughed loudly at that, “I don’t think they’re doctor’s orders as much as yours!”

“Then listen to your sergeant and let him take care of you”

“Yes, sir.”

Johnny was constantly stumbling over himself to try and help you with chores through the pregnancy. You move to wash a dish and he’s hopping up from the couch to plush the sponge from your hand before you’ve even wet it.

“I’ve got that love,” He constantly says, trying to herd you towards the couch, “Don’ even worry about it.”

You’d still hover each time, ensuring that he completed the chores to your satisfaction.

“Johnny! The yellow rags are for dusting! Not wiping up!” You fussed.

“It doesn’t matter! They all go in the wash the same!”

“It does matter! They’re color-coded so that they stay cleaner and we don’t go through so many!”

“Johnny,” You waddle into the bedroom one morning after getting up to get a cup of tea, “It’s time.”

“Time?” The tired man pulled his head up from where he’d buried it into his pillow, “Lass, is still early, come back to bed.”

“Johnny the baby’s not going to be born in the same bed it was conceived in.”

“Yer not due for weeks yet lass, she won’t be.”

“There’s a puddle in the kitchen that says otherwise.”

“A puddle?”

“Johnny, my water broke.”

He jerks his head up from the pillow, “It’s time?”

“Yes, Johnny, I have the bag, I just need you to get dressed and drive.”

He stumbles out of bed and shoves his legs into yesterday’s jeans from where they lay on the floor, he’s nearly to the door before you hold up a hand, “Shirt, Johnny, you’re going to the hospital. You need to put on a shirt.”

He looks down at his bare chest, “Shirt? Shirt,” He turns on his heel and scoops up yesterday’s shirt too before returning to you.

“Shoe’s, Johnny.”

Johnny grabs a pair of slides from the closet and you finally let him through, happy that he’s finally presentable for your daughter’s birth.

Johnny ends up pacing the room while you rest in the hospital bed, flipping through channels on the wall-mounted television, “Thought you said it was time lass.”

“It is,” you flip past game show, news, game show, soap opera.

“Then where is she? We've been here hours now.”

“They don’t just slide out, the body has to prepare itself to squeeze out a daughter who probably has as big a head as her daddy,” He doesn’t notice your insult, instead rubbing his hands over the stubble he hadn’t gotten to shave.

When Johnny see’s the baby crown, he faints.

Your big strong army man who had been through war and back fainted at the sight of his daughter entering the world and had to be woken up by an attending nurse, “Sir, you’re going to want to wake up, your baby’s coming now.”

He ends up on wobbly feet, deposited by the head of the bed this time where he surely won’t see anything to make him faint.

After the baby’s born he makes you promise that you won’t tell anyone on his team, particularly Ghost.

“I’ll never hear the end of it,” Soap begs, “L.t. would make it known base-wide before the day is out.”

You roll your eyes, “You don’t give Simon enough credit, he’s nothing but a gentleman to me.”

“Ya only say that because he hasn’t made you run drills! He’s a right mean bastard to me!”

Soap brings the baby on base to meet the 141 at your request after moaning that you didn’t want his team to see you when you were wearing mesh panties even if you were wearing pants over them. Soap loudly announced his arrival, depositing the large carrier onto the table in the briefing room.

“Here she is,” he coos at the baby in her carseat, pulling the blanket covering her off the carrier, “The latest addition to the Mactavish clan.”

“She’s so tiny!” Gaz can’t help but note, leaning forward.

“Didn’ think you actually had the balls to make one of them,” Ghost starts.

“How’s the missus doing?” Price asks, leaning forward to offer his finger to the bundle who takes it and grasps it.

“Sore as all hell and still mad abou’ it,” Soap bemoans, “Keeps telling me about the frozen pads she’s wearing and that it’s my fault!”

“Frozen pads?” Gaz frowns at him, finally taking his eyes off the baby.

“Aye, the lass has cleared out half the freezer so her unmentionables can be kept below thirty two degrees at all times.”

“You’re in a hell of your own making Soap, she’ll be right as rain before long and yelling at you for something else you’ve done.”

“Hope you learned to wrap it for next time, Soap,” Gaz this time.

“The poor bastard came out of the womb as dumb as this and he’ll return the same way, he’ll have another baby before this one’s out of diapers.

After the baby’s born, he takes you and her on a flight to visit the Mactavish clan. He insists on holding the baby through the flight so you could nap. He also falls asleep with the baby in his arms and his head laying on your shoulder.

His sister’s crowd around you before you can even take your shoes off when you enter the house.

The energy in the Mactavish house is the same as Soap’s when he’s first off deployment and wired, full of energy and yelling. You silently send a thanks up to heaven that the baby was already awake and well-rested as there likely would be no keeping this family quiet.

Johnny’s mother fussed over you, smoothing your hair and holding your hand, apologizing already for something her son did.

“Ma!”

“Don’ ‘Ma’ me! You gave me hell growing up, I have to make sure you’re treating her well!”

Baby Mactavish grows to be a whirlwind like her father, constantly getting into cabinets you swore you baby-proofed, leaving piles of tupperware scattered on the kitchen floor.

“Sergeant John Mactavish if you don’t come get your daughter this second!” You yell into the house while you fight against your daughter’s grip of steel on the plastic spatula.

He skids into the kitchen and scoops up the baby, turning her over in the air and using the element of surprise to snatch the utensil from her chubby hands.

“Ah, dinnae be so mean to the bairn lass, she’s jus’ explorin’,” he continues turning her over and over until she’s weak with giggles.

True to his word, Johnny gets you pregnant within a year after you're medically cleared. This time a second and third baby on the way. At once. When you learned of the split embryo at the ultrasound you scowled at Johnny, “Now see what you’ve done, John Mactavish!”

“Ah promised it to you, remember,” He took your hand in his and planted kisses on the back, ignorant of the ultrasound tech pointedly keeping their eyes on the screen, “Toldja we’d have a house-full when we first started dating.”

“I didn’t think you meant two at once!”

Not to mention the dogs that lingered on the stoop. Or the barn cats that hung around the outbuildings. The highland cows that Johnny had begged you for. The donkeys that he rescued from a feedlot. None of them were in the plan. Mactavish, the devil he is, ruins all your plans.

a/n: reblogs/comments are most appreciated but i cherish every like too, someone please talk more about this to me

#soap x reader #soap x you #cod fanfiction #cod x reader #call of duty x reader #grave writes

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janaispunk · 2 months

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i can see the end as it begins

chapter 1 • series masterlist

pairing: Dave York x f!reader

summary: You meet your father’s new friend for the first time, but he’s a lot different than you expected.

word count: ~5k

tags/warnings: explicit smut -> 18+ mdni, dbf!Dave, unhealthy relationship dynamics, dom/sub dynamics, angst, daddy issues (reader’s dad isn’t a nice person), able-bodied reader, reader has hair, no use of y/n, divorced Dave, unprotected p in v, semi-public sex, fingering, dirty talk, praise kink, degradation kink, spanking, pet names, let me know if i missed anything 🫶🏻

a/n: my favorite person on this app @joelscurls planted the idea of dbf!dave in both our heads and after many many feral dms, porn gifs, plotting and just generally freaking out, we have finally managed to put the first chapter together :) we’re currently planning with 4 chapters in total that we’re gonna take turns posting, so go follow jess if you don’t already (criminal behavior tbh)! i’m beyond excited to be able to do this with someone whose writing i adore sooo much, we’re both beyond excited about this story, and we hope that you enjoy it 🫶🏻

follow @joelscurlsupdates and @janaispunknotifs for updates and find jess’s masterlist here and my masterlist here :)

dividers by the lovely @saradika-graphics!

“I want a divorce.”

It’s been almost a year since Carol spoke those words into the tense silence of their dining room and they still echo in Dave’s mind as if it happened yesterday.

He doesn’t mourn the marriage, doesn’t miss Carol, not in the way he probably should. But he mourns the life that he had, the perfect suburban family, the stability. A little boring maybe, but safe, calming. Predictable.

And he misses his girls. He misses the sound of small feet on the hardwood-floor greeting him as soon as he opened the front door, giggly exclamations of “Daddy’s home!” and tiny hands grabbing at him, begging to be picked up. Now he opens the door to an empty, silent apartment. He has them every second weekend, which he rationally knows makes the most sense with his often irregular working hours, but it’s simply not enough. It’s like time is constantly running through his fingers and he just can’t make it stop, can’t bring his life back under control.

He’s doing what he can to keep himself busy, anything to keep his mind occupied and his thoughts from spiraling into that pit of loneliness that he’s found himself in. He started reconnecting with friends, going out with his colleagues and contacting people from his army days that he hasn’t spoken to in years, trying to build a social life outside of his family and the neighbors that he no longer lives next to.

It’s tedious, making him realize that he really doesn’t like people all that much, but it’s better than spending his evenings by himself and wondering where things went so awfully wrong.

He spends a lot of time with Jim, one of the guys that trained with him and that he always got along with rather well. Jim was delighted when Dave called, promptly inviting him to join him at golf the next day, which somehow turned into a weekly event on Dave’s schedule. It’s nice enough, giving him some sense of routine and he finds that he’s rather good at it. Jim runs his own company by now, the thing that he invests all of his time in, which got him a lot of money, but also a divorce.

It’s all he talks about, too, but it’s fine with Dave, not being forced to contribute that much to the conversation – because really, there’s not much worth mentioning happening in his life anyway – and he’s content to just nod along and hum in agreement most of the time.

Jim has a daughter too, a lot older than Dave’s though, already out of the house, attending law school. He can tell that Jim is proud when he talks about her, but it always seems to be connected to achievements, an underlying pressure to their relationship that leaves Dave a little uneasy and he silently vows to himself to never apply any sort of conditions to his love for his daughters.

But he's never met the young woman and he probably never will, so he doesn’t dwell on it, because what does it matter to him, really?

You huff a sigh as the familiar sight of the country club that your father loves to frequent comes into view and hand the Uber driver a tip before sliding out of the car.

You had thought you’d be getting a night out with your Dad, just the two of you, a rare occurrence. Not that you had been particularly looking forward to being grilled about law school, your grades, networking and internship opportunities, but at least he would be listening to you, paying attention. Joking that he was making sure that the money he put into your education was well invested, a joke that felt less funny every time you were reminded just how financially dependent you were on your father.

If the topic of conversation wasn’t school, it was what kind of acquaintances you’ve made, if maybe you’d met a guy with good connections, someone who could introduce you to the right people. Cautionary warnings not to get involved with the wrong sort, not to get on the wrong track.

Just once, you would like to talk about if you were enjoying school, what living on your own was like, how you got along with your roommate, the fun times you had with your girlfriends, anything about your life that wasn’t somehow connected to success or keeping up appearances. But your relationship wasn’t like that. He didn’t care about these sorts of things, he never had.

You continuously swallowed down the heavy feeling of envy in your stomach when your friends talked about their parents, painting a picture of unconditional love and support that was foreign to you, telling yourself that everything was fine the way it was.

“I invited Dave to join us tomorrow,” he then told you yesterday morning, offhandedly, sipping his coffee and his eyes already glued to his phone. You nodded silently, forcing your lips into something that resembled a smile. He had mentioned someone named Dave before, an old friend from his army days that he had recently reconnected with, if you remembered correctly. It didn’t matter, really, your father’s countless acquaintances blurred into a mix of vaguely familiar faces in your head anyway. If you had mixed feelings about the evening plans before, this new development made it clear that you wouldn’t partake in the conversation much, just smile politely, sit pretty and let the grown ups talk.

Steeling yourself, you walk in, your heels clicking against the floor. After spotting your dad almost immediately and waving in his direction, you make a beeline for the bar. He was sitting alone, you think, furrowing your brow in thought. You’re running a little late yourself, maybe that Dave guy couldn’t make it? You don’t hate the idea of that.

Dave had been reluctant to come out tonight, couldn’t help the feeling that he was intruding on his friend’s father-daughter time, something that he was desperate to have more of, but Jim had insisted.

“Lots of women you could meet there!”

He had scoffed under his breath, not able to picture himself meeting someone new, going through the motions of getting to know them, opening up, adjusting his routine to someone else’s again. He could much less picture himself meeting a woman he’d be interested in at a fucking country club of all places. Eventually, the thought of another evening in his silent and empty apartment with nothing but his thoughts to keep him company made him accept anyway.

He’s drumming his fingers against the polished wooden bar, waiting to pick up the second round of beers for Jim and himself, when someone slides up to the counter beside him. He glances over, eyes focusing in on the woman who is studying the drinks menu.

He feels an inexplicable pull towards her, couldn’t look away again even if he tried. She’s beautiful, he thinks as he takes in her features in the soft warm light, lingering on the shape of her lips, before his gaze trails down her body, over the short black dress that’s clinging to her in the most enticing way. She’s also younger than him; too young, the responsible part of his mind argues. Not the kind of woman that he should be interested in meeting. He still can’t look away.

“Evening.” The greeting comes out before he can stop himself. She looks up, a hint of annoyance on her pretty face, but her gaze softens as her eyes meet his. A smirk plays on her lips.

“Hi.” Her eyes flicker down his own body and up again, something akin to excitement taking over her expression. He’s rusty, hasn’t done this in ages, but her interest is palpable, and it shoots a thrill of pleasure through him.

“I’m David,” he introduces himself. No one has called him David in… god knows how long, but it feels better than Dave in this moment, right somehow. Like he can be a different person, just for a little while.

“Pleasure,” she grins, tells him her name and shakes his hand, her eyes glinting in the warm lights of the bar. Her touch on his skin, even just his hand, is like electricity is flowing through the air between them. She feels so soft and his life has been so devoid of softness lately that he has to force himself to let go of her hand again.

Something tugs at the back of his mind, like this name should ring a bell, but he shoves the thought aside. He’s too busy picturing himself taking her home this evening, imagining how soft her skin would feel in other places, how she would look splayed out underneath him on his sheets, how her breath would sound when he–

“I’ve never seen you around here before, are you new?” her melodic voice interrupts the vivid daydream playing in his mind. She has taken a step towards him and hints of the sweet notes of her perfume are beginning to surround the air around him. It’s getting a little hard to think straight.

“I– yes. First time actually,” he laughs and delights in the way her face lights up at the sound. “You come here a lot, then?” The cliché line makes him want to cringe, but she doesn’t falter, only shrugs and lets her eyes slowly trail down his body once more, obviously wanting him to notice.

“Depends. I might be here more often if it means I get to see you.”

She reaches out until her fingers softly graze his wrist and it demands a great amount of willpower not to take her home right this instant.

The heartbeat in your chest is thrumming along to the butterflies that are erupting in your stomach. You’ve never been this bold, too shy to flirt at all most of the time, but the stranger in front of you is clouding your sense of judgment and has your insecurities flying right out of the window. His interest is written over his face clear as day and you feel an immediate pull towards him that you can’t explain.

He’s so handsome that your hands are itching to touch him more, to find out if he’s as broad and solid as is large frame suggests, if that jawline would feel as strong under your fingertips as it looks, and if his deep brown eyes would soften before you press your lips against his. No wedding ring either, you note in the back of your mind, sending another surge of excitement through you.

The fact that he seems old enough to be your father, something that your therapist would probably have a few words to say about, is only adding to the arousal that’s coursing through your veins. You want him.

You almost jump when your drinks arrive in front of you; you had all but forgotten where you are, and that you’re very much in eyesight of your actual father. Suddenly, you feel silly, reality catching up to you. Surely he was just being nice and you read way too much into it, making a fool of yourself.

“Well, I–I’ll see you around then.” You hastily grab your glass and are ready to make a run for it, when his large hand wraps around your elbow.

“Looking forward to it,” he purrs, before he takes the two beers off the counter in front of him.

Awkwardness slowly sets in when you start walking in the same direction, but it doesn’t fully hit you until you both stop at the same table, your father beaming up at you.

“Sweetheart, you already met Dave I see, that’s great. Come, sit!”

You’re frozen, stupidly blinking between your father and the man beside you a few times. The man who introduced himself as David.

David. Dave. Oh. Oh.

“Y–yeah,” you stutter out eventually and plaster a smile on your face as you take a seat beside your dad. David looks just as dumbstruck as you feel when he slides into the chair opposite from you, quietly handing one of the beers over to your dad. His friend.

Your father launches into a story about their army days together and you’re nodding along, but not one word actively registers in your brain. The conversation eventually moves on to your dad’s recent work projects, the majority of the talking done by him, with the occasional question from David, while you’re silently sipping on your drink.

The initial embarrassment of the whole situation makes you want to sink down into the ground, but still you can’t keep your eyes from flicking to David again and again. They linger on his lips, constantly in a pout that you would give anything to feel against yours, the slight shadow of stubble on his cheeks at the end of the day that you know would scratch against your skin so deliciously, the way his hand dwarfs his beer on the table, thick fingers that could stretch– No. No, you’re not going there.

Your cheeks are burning and you stare down at the tabletop in front of you.

When your gaze lifts back up, David’s eyes are already trained on you, glinting like he knows exactly what you’ve been thinking about. You reluctantly look back at your father, who’s still rambling on about some big client that he’s currently dealing with, completely oblivious to the charged energy between his friend and you.

David shifts in his seat and his leg bumps against yours under the table. You grasp your drink tighter, forcing yourself not to react in any way, but you don’t move away either. Neither does he. You shoot him a look and the hint of a smirk plays around his mouth. He looks too damn good like this, so excitingly wrong in a way that makes your pulse flutter.

It feels like you’re burning up from inside and as little attention as your dad is paying to you, you’re certain that he’s gonna notice that something is off with you eventually. You hastily scramble to your feet and excuse yourself to the bathroom. You feel David’s eyes on you as you walk away until you’re out of sight.

The cool water that you run over your wrists and splash onto your cheeks does a poor job of calming you down. Stupid, stupid, stupid, you admonish yourself. It’s certainly not more than a tiny bit of flirting to him, if at all, just some harmless fun to amuse himself probably, and you’re getting this worked up about it.

No. You need to get out of this situation. You’re gonna walk back out there, make something up about a headache and catch a cab home. It will probably earn you a lecture about politeness later in the evening, but you’ll gladly take that.

When you approach the table again, your dad is just getting off his phone, his expression already far away. You know that look all too well, being subjected to it almost daily.

“Work emergency?” you ask, without a real question behind your words.

“Yeah,” he grumbles, getting up, barely looking at you, already all business. “Sorry, I gotta get to the office, Dave will drive you home. Right, Dave?”

Your eyes fly to David and you catch him swallowing hard, but he nods regardless, lips quirking up in a forced smile. “Of course.”

You both silently watch your father’s retreating back, already speaking into his phone again. The fabric of Dave’s pants ghosts against your bare leg below the table once more. You wish it were his fingers instead.

You hadn’t anticipated to be alone with him and all the reasonable thoughts that you’ve come up with in the privacy of the bathroom are wiped from your mind. It feels like you’re buzzing, a rush of excitement thrumming through your veins, like your body knows that you’re on the brink of doing something really stupid and really fucking tempting.

“I’m sorry, about earlier,” you murmur, looking up at him through your lashes. He smirks, a knowing glint in his eyes as he takes in your expression. He still hasn’t moved his leg.

“I don’t think you are.”

Your stomach swoops at his words. You bite your lip. He wouldn’t be acting like this if he didn’t want you, would he? His eyes dart to your lips at the movement and darken. Fuck it.

“No, I’m not.” You pray that he doesn’t catch the slight tremble in your voice. He’s fucking intimidating and this is wrong on so many levels and you want him so badly to want you.

The tension between you is a palpable thing, almost making it hard to breathe when he leads you out of the club, his hand at the small of your back and causing you to shiver. Will he really just drive you home? Will he say something, do something, touch you more? You don’t know how to ask for any of it and desperately wish that he’ll take the reins, that somehow he already knows what you want. You have a feeling that he does.

He opens his car door for you, another thing that really shouldn’t affect you this much, before he walks around the vehicle and gets in beside you. You catch a hint of his cologne in the confined space and press your thighs together before you can stop yourself. Your heart is racing and you just know that he knows exactly what he’s doing to you.

He clears his throat. “We gotta stop at my place, I have some paperwork that I’d like your–” He interrupts himself, his grip on the steering wheel tightening until his knuckles are white, “that I’d like Jim to look over for me.”

You nod, a small hum leaving your throat. The implication of going to his place has you reeling. He nods back, stealing a glance at you before he starts the car. You can’t help watching him as he drives, the subtle control that he exudes, the way the muscles on his thighs are flexing underneath the fabric of his pants. He looks over at you a few times, and you don’t have it in yourself to pretend that your eyes aren’t glued to him.

“See something you like?” he asks eventually, the corners of his mouth twitching.

“Yeah,” you answer, so breathless it’s embarrassing and you shift a little in your seat. Your dress rides up at the movement, revealing more skin, and his eyes fly down instantly.

“Me too,” he rasps.

When he stops the car in front of his building, you decide that it’s time to be brave.

“Do you want me to come up with you?”

“No,” his answer comes instantly. His tone isn’t cold, but determined, not to be argued with.

“Oh.” Your cheeks are heating up again. You hate how small your voice sounds. “I thought–”

He sighs, rubbing a hand over his face, avoiding your gaze.

“I can’t. You’re– You know why. You know I can’t.”

“I don’t care. I’m an adult, I can do what I want.”

He shakes his head, still not looking at you.

“Sweetheart, stop. Trust me, I want to, but–”

“Please?” You’re begging, no dignity left in you, only want want want. “Just one time. Please, David?”

His eyes fly up to your face at that. You can see the shift, the way his expression hardens, turning into something feral that has heat growing between your legs.

“Just one time,” he repeats, his voice dark with desire, no longer trying to conceal it.

His hands find your thighs, grabbing at you roughly, moving you until you’re in his lap, legs spread wide, his breath fanning against your lips. One hand is in your hair, the other gliding under the hem of your dress, his touch turning you into a trembling mess.

“This is what you want?” he growls, the grip in your hair tightening. You don’t think that you’ve ever wanted anything as much as this.

“Please,” you whine again, and he presses forward, lips clashing against yours, the kiss all tongue and teeth and desperate need and you’re melting into him.

“Fuck,” he breathes, his hands all over you now, grabbing at your dress, your skin, any place he can reach.

Your mouth travels over his cheek and down to his neck, sucking kisses and bites into his skin. The stubble scratches against your face just like you thought it would and you start working on the buttons of his shirt with trembling fingers, rolling your hips, desperate for friction. His grip steadies you, pulling down the neckline of your dress, kissing along the lace of your bra before he pulls the cups down too. A groan rises up in his throat as he cups your tits, thumbs circling over your already hardened nipples before he leans forward and sucks one into his mouth.

“Fucking perfect,” he rasps, breath hot against your damp skin. You arch into his touch and he chuckles, sucking on the bud again before he bites down, eliciting a loud moan from you. His touch travels up your thighs, leaving a burning trail behind, until his fingertips rub over the soaked fabric of your panties and you gasp at the barely-there touch.

“Oh, sweetheart,” he coos, pressing down harder. “Already dripping for me, huh? You want it that bad?”

You nod eagerly, pushing down onto his fingers.

“Alright.” He sounds just as wrecked as you feel. He starts undoing his belt buckle and his pants and you lift up just enough to allow him to shove them down his hips.

At the first glance at his cock, your mouth falls open, a silent breath escaping you. He’s big, certainly the biggest you’ve ever had, and maybe you should think about how you’ll take all of him inside of you, but you find yourself craving him, craving the stinging stretch, craving the feeling of being as close as possible to him.

“Don’t worry.” He seems mildly amused, catching your lips in another kiss. “We’ll make it fit.”

Another shudder runs through your body at this. “I’m not worried,” you admit in a whisper.

He laughs at that, a breathless sound that you instantly want to hear again.

“Good.”

He pulls your underwear to the side and thrusts one thick finger up into your slick heat without warning. His thumb rubs around your clit and you already feel an orgasm creeping up on you. He adds a second finger, his rhythm relentless, and you cry out, grabbing his shoulders, trying to steady yourself, but it’s pointless. You’re already clenching, so close to the edge, when he pulls out of you and fixes you with a hard glare.

“Not yet. You’re only gonna come on my cock tonight, understood?”

You want to scream, want his fingers back, but you realize that you also want this authority, want him to take control, to take whatever he wants from you. It’s a heady feeling, one that you’ve never experienced before, but you’re already desperate for more.

“Okay,” you agree, and his responding smirk is enough for another wave of wetness to gather between your legs.

With one steadying hand securely on your hip, he leans over to the glovebox, mumbling about protection, but you stop him, fingers looping around his wrist.

“I’m on the pill, and I’m clean, I promise. You don’t need–”

He leans back, the grip on your hip tightening again.

“Fuck sweetheart, are you sure?”

You nod quickly, another “please” falling from your lips.

The grin on his face is downright feral as he hikes your dress up higher, eyes raking over your body. You’re sure that you look a mess, all intimate parts of you on display, your skin damp with sweat, your hair a wild nest. You curl in on yourself a little, but David won’t have any of that.

“Hey,” he growls, fingers digging into your thighs. “If I’m gonna do this, you’re gonna look at me and beg for it, are we clear?”

You lift your head, wide eyes searching his. Desperate to do what he asks, desperate for his approval. He’s gorgeous in the low lights, his cheeks flushed, a thin sheen of sweat covering his face and chest.

“Please,” you whine. “Please David, I need you.”

His movements turn frantic at your words, moving you around until you’re positioned just above him, your panties pulled to the side, the head of his cock nudging at your entrance, already soaking him.

“Just one time?” he rasps once more.

“Just one time,” you agree. You’d agree to anything right now.

He pulls you down slowly, beginning to part your walls. You whine loudly at the stretch. It burns, but you relish in the feeling of getting filled by him, and his responding groan has your lips pulling up in a smile.

You keep sinking down, moving until he’s completely sheathed inside you and your eyes fall shut at the overwhelming sensation. His fingers are on your chin in an instant, giving your head a light shake.

“Nuh-uh, eyes right here, sweetheart,” he reminds you, gritting the words out. He twitches inside you and you force your eyelids to open again.

“Feels so good,” you whine, your voice reduced to a broken, breathless thing, but then he starts moving and you’re not able to form words any longer.

He rolls his hips up into you and you meet his thrusts with your own movements, clinging to his shoulders for dear life. His hands are everywhere, digging into your hips, pinching your nipples, gripping your chin whenever your eyes are starting to slip closed again.

So you keep your gaze obediently on him, your eyes locked, delighting in the way his face scrunches up in pleasure, in the sounds that are falling from his lips, matching your own.

“Good girl, taking me so fucking well,” he groans, his hand connecting with your ass in a light slap. An obscenely loud moan escapes you in response and you clench around him, more wetness covering his length and your thighs.

He stills and leans back to take in your heated face and blown pupils, an amused smirk forming on his face. “You liked that, huh?”

You nod, once again unable to meet his eye.

“Hey,” he demands, his fingers grabbing your face again. “Eyes on me, remember?”

Your gaze reluctantly trails up and his smirk grows.

“So…” he drawls, slowly picking up his thrusts again, “what exactly did you like, huh? When I called you a good girl… or when I did this?”

He smacks your ass again and you grind down onto him almost instinctively. You’re burning up in shame, but you obediently hold his gaze.

“B–both,” you whisper, in disbelief that you’re admitting this to him, but you feel too good to hold back now.

“Fuck,” he growls, his movements speeding up and his grip on your hips bordering on painful, “knew you were a dirty little thing.”

Another slap lands on your skin, harder than before, at the same time that he thrusts deep into you. The combined sensations are enough to throw you over the edge that you had been teetering on since he first touched you and you scream out his name as you fall apart.

He holds your shaking body close, cock grinding into you as you pulse around him and he groans, burying his face in your neck, spilling his own release deep inside of you.

“Fucking perfect,” he whispers, mouth pressing against your skin. “Can’t believe that you let me–”

You barely make out the words, ecstasy still coursing through your veins, but you lean into him, holding onto his broad shoulders, feeling like his body is the only real thing in your world right now.

You stay like this, entangled in each other’s embrace until your breaths even out and he carefully lifts your face, pressing one more kiss against your lips. It hits you suddenly, that this might be the last kiss that you share with him. Just one time, right?

He helps you to properly put your clothes back on, supporting your weight as you slink back into the passenger seat, before he pulls his pants back on and jogs up to his apartment to gather the paperwork for your father.

Your father. His friend. Fuck. Now that the lust-induced haze has lifted a bit and you’re able to think more clearly again, the weight of tonight’s events starts crashing down on you. He would kill you. He can’t know, no one can.

Dave returns within minutes, his brow furrowed as he takes you in. You think that he clocks the growing panic that is probably written all over your face. He reaches for your hand, slowly enough that you could retract it if you wanted to, but you long for his touch, for the reassurance of it.

“You alright?” he asks softly.

“Yeah.” You nod, trying to convince yourself as much as him.

He nods back, not prying, which you are grateful for, and starts the car, making his way over to your house. Your hand still clasped in his. Both your release and his pooling in your panties.

You only let go of him when he pulls into the driveway and kills the engine. You don’t think that your dad checks the footage from the security cameras regularly, but it’s a risk that you’re not willing to take.

“Thank you,” you mumble, once again unable to meet his eyes. “I– I had a great night.”

He smiles, appearing more relaxed than he’d been all evening.

“Me too, sweetheart. Good night.” You feel his eyes on you as you walk up to the door.

You shower, reluctantly washing away all traces of the evening and crawl into bed. You still feel his hands on your skin, the sensation following you into your dreams.

When the morning comes, hushed promises of just one time echo in your head, but the desire to do it again, for more, is burning through your body, consuming your thoughts.

“Hey Dad,” you ask, stepping into his office where he’s brooding over documents, “I think I left my jacket in Dave’s car, could you give me his number? Maybe I can go pick it up.”

if you liked this, please consider reblogging, leaving a comment or sending in an ask – it’s really the thing that keeps writers going :)

#fic: wildest dreams #dave york #dave york x reader #dave york x you #dave york x female reader #dave york x f!reader #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fandom #pedro pascal fanfiction #dave york smut #pedrostories #dave york fanfiction #dave york fic #dbf!dave york

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thewalkingthread · 6 months

Text

"I've been thinking" - D.D.

pairing: daryl dixon x f!reader

summary: After witnessing how good Daryl takes care of Judith and RJ, you think it's about time y'all have one of your own.

warning: fluff

a/n: I love soft Daryl.

You and Daryl had been through more than your fair share of hardships, having faced the trials of the apocalypse together. Your bond had only grown stronger over the years, and now, after the war in Commonwealth settled, you and your community found a place to call home. Despite the chaos of the world outside, you had finally had a semblance of peace and security among friends, new and old. Hell- you guys even had a dog now.

It was sunny today, Judith and RJ ran around on the street with some of the other kids. They screamed and hollered as they played tag, a heart melting smile spread across their faces. Just kids being kids.

You and Daryl sat on the front porch of your house with Dog. Daryl's crossbow rested against the wall as he sharpened the points of his arrows. You watched the kids, you had a smile that mirrored their contagious ones.

"You okay?" Daryl asked, his voice soft, he glanced at you briefly before he continued to work on his arrows.

You nod your head, your eyes still fixated on the kids. "I've been thinking,"

"That can't be good," Daryl scoffed, teasingly. You roll your eyes, reaching over and bumping his shoulder with your fist. "Bout wha?" He asks.

You shrug your shoulders, glancing down at the glass of water in your hands. "The future." You said simply.

Daryl looked up, curiosity evident in his stormy blue eyes. "The future, huh? What's on your mind?" He placed the arrow on the table, giving you his undivided attention.

"Well," You began, a faint blush coloring their cheeks, "I've been thinking about this for a while, but it never seemed like the right time. I mean these past few years have been so... crazy." You wince.

"But now, everything feels right. We're safe. Here, in commonwealth. The kids are safe here, we've got something good going. Something real." You hated saying it, knowing you felt the exact same way with the prison, with Alexandria. I don't think anywhere in this world would ever be safe, but here felt like it.

"We've been dealt some shitty cards. With Rick and Michonne gone, we've basically been given all their responsibility. I know we have to lead these people. I know we have to keep Jude and RJ safe. But I can't help but notice how great you are with Judith and RJ. You're a natural, Daryl. We take care of them like they're our own and-" Your voice trails off, losing the confidence to finish.

"Spit it out, woman." He grunts, staring into your eyes knowingly.

"I want to expand our family... Have one of our own?" You raise an eyebrow, "I wouldn't mind a little Dixon running around."

Daryl paused, his hands grasping yours. He looked at you with the softest eyes, his heart swelling with love and tenderness. "You serious?"

You nodded, your eyes never leaving his. "Yeah, Daryl. I am. I think we're ready. I mean you're obviously going to be one hell of a dad."

Daryl's rough exterior couldn't hide the softness that your words had brought out in him. He scooted closer to you, holding both of your hands tightly in his. "You really think that?"

You smiled, your love for Daryl shining in your eyes. You've been with Daryl from the beginning. Him and Merle found you alone in a convenient store the day everything went to shit. After months of pining over each other you finally bit the bullet at the prison and made it official. Though the two of you been through hell the past 10 years you're here, together.

"Absolutely. I've seen the way you protect and care for those kids, the way you take care of me. It makes my heart ache with how much I love you. We're building something here. I want to start a family with you."

Daryl leaned in, capturing your lips with a tender kiss. It felt just like it did the first time all those years ago. "I love you too, Y/N. Let's do it. We'll make it work, no matter what. Us against the world. The way it's always been."

His arms wrapped around your body and pulled your close to him.

"Are you two okay?" Judith's voice caused the two of you to pull away from each other. Her eyebrow was raised suspiciously at you two. You and Daryl both burst into a fit of chuckles.

"How would you feel helping Auntie Y/N out with a baby?" Daryl's voice was scuffed. Judith's eyes just about popped out as she jumped into y'alls lap.

"Yes, yes, yes!" She cheered. "About time!" She laughed. Dog barked, oblivious to what was happening but happy to see everyone happy.

You and Daryl exchanged amused glances. Deep down inside you both knew you'd be okay. Whatever happened next, you'd handle it together.

#daryl dixon #the walking dead fanfiction #the walking dead one shot #the walking dead fic #twd #daryl dixon fanfic #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl dixon x female reader #norman reedus #norman reedus fanfiction #twd fanfic #twd fanfiction #daryl dixon fluff #daryl dixon smut

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berriweb · 10 months

Text

╰┈➤ ❝ unconditional love ❞

: ̗̀➛ ft. johnathan ohnn x gn! reader

: ̗̀➛ warnings. none

: ̗̀➛ a/n. someone save me from the chokehold pathetic men have me in, especially this one in particular, Im addicted to this man😞

“does it not bother you?”

The question pulled you out of your trance, almost not catching it as you’d become so consumed in the background noise that the drama series you’d put on played on your TV. Your gaze shifted from the flashing pictures on the screen to where Johnathan laid, his lanky body entangled with your limbs, arms wrapped around your waist and his head snuggled into your chest and turned with his ear pressed right above where your heart would be so he could better view the screen.

“Hm?” You chirped at first, taking note of his refusal to turn and look at you, even if your gaze technically couldn’t be met. The episode that played showed a couple in the show going on innocent dates, something akin to a slice of life to make up for all of the building tension in the series. Part of you wondered if that was the cause of his sudden question.

“This…all of this, does it not bother you in the slightest? Our situation.” The second time around, Johnathan sat up, pulling his arms away from your body but still focusing on the screen. That part of you was right. “We don’t get to go out for dates anymore, we can’t see movies and eat at fancy restaurants- I can never see your friends or family, we can’t do any of that. How are you just okay with it?”

His words gave a mixture of guilt and frustration in his tone, and your heart aches for him. Besides the initial discussion when you first found out what had happened to your boyfriend, you two hadn’t really talked much about how things would go from then on. You just fell into a pattern that the two of you silently agreed on, and part of that agreement was that Johnathan didn’t really go out much due to his insecurities and knowing that he’d never be seen as normal, never accepted.

“Johnny, I don’t-” “And in the house too,” he started, not even seeming to realize that he’d cut you off, “I don’t have a face anymore, I’m not me. It doesn’t make any sense.”

Your hands pulled away from him before cupping his cheeks and gently turning his head to face you, eyeing the hole where his features should’ve been. He didn’t try to resist. “I’m not going to lie and act like I don’t miss your face, none of this was fair too you and you don’t deserve any of it. But I didn’t fall in love with your face, I fell in love with you. None of this is going to change that.”

“And the others? Being seen with me in public would be shameful.”

“I’m never ashamed of you.”

He let out a sigh and his head hung low, you were lucky that his expressive personality and your ability to read him so well made up for the fact that he no longer had a face to express himself with. “We can still go out, I’m never against that. If there’s anyone in my life that even thinks of shunning you like the rest of them did then so be it, I wouldn’t want to be associated with someone like that anyway.”

You silently pulled his head back down to your chest and laid your own head back, staring up at the ceiling as you felt him relax on top of you.

“How are you so good at this?” He muttered.

“I’m not, you’re just easy to influence.”

“Ha ha, very funny.”

“…you know, if you’re really worried about going out in public we could go see a movie or something. No one would even pay you any mind in the theater, it’ll be like baby steps. You can’t stay cooped up in here forever.”

Johnathan picked his head up to look at you. “Really?” He asked, sounding both surprised, nervous and just a tad bit excited.

“Of course, there is just one thing that does bother me though.” He tensed up for a moment, and you almost felt bad for springing the topic on him.

“What? What is it?”

“You’re gonna have to put on some clothes.”

“…that’s it?”

“I’ve been wondering for a while why you stopped, it’s just a bit weird.”

“It’s not like it’s the first time you’ve seen me naked…”

“You did it the few times we went out in public too!” You argued, and he got defensive.

“I didn’t think it mattered! It’s not like I have-”

“It’s the principle, Johnny.”

#across the spiderverse #atsv fanfiction #spiderman atsv #atsv x reader #spider man #the spot #jonathan ohnn #johnathan ohnn x reader #spiderverse the spot #the spot x reader #the spot atsv #the spot across the spiderverse

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notti-stellate · 6 months

Note

gn! reader x Jasper

They're walking through the woods and stop by the stream that separates the pack from the Cullens.

😶‍🌫️ me trying to be creative 😶‍🌫️

Our Future

Jasper Hale/Whitlock x reader

a/n: I can't believe it's taken me this long to get this request out but I've been trying to clean out my inbox for new requests! This was also an answer to another request but I just kinda merged them together. I hope you like it 💕

It was days like today that made me look forward to becoming a vampire, getting to spend eternity with Jasper. I let my mind wander as we walked, his cold fingers laced through mine as we wandered aimlessly through the thick forest of Forks. I was so lost in thought I didn’t realize we were at the border until I felt Jasper stop walking.

“You alright darlin’” Jasper smiled softly,

“Yeah, just thinking,” I mumbled, quickly picking up pace as I went on.“Do you think we’ll have a family of our own, like how Carlisle has you guys? I know we’re gonna build a house so we should at the very least get a dog. We can’t have human children but maybe we could have animals instead. Although we’ll have to wait until after I’m turned so I can get some control first, wait would I eat our children?”

I realized I was rambling when Jasper met my eyes, a fond smile on his lips as he laughed fondly. He pulled me down to sit by the water with him before answering.

“I don’t know about the rest but we’ll definitely have some kind of family,”He said, looking into the water as if he was seeing our future right there in front of him. “We’ll wait until you’re ready to get a dog, although having something else to focus on instead of the blood could help.”

We spent the next hour just sitting by the water talking about what our future would look like, we even picked out names for animals. Seeing him so happy to talk about things like that made me wish I could speed up time. Even if we were completely wrong about our future I knew I could be certain of one thing, I would spend forever loving Jasper.

#jasper hale x reader #jasper hale #twilight #jasper cullen #jasper whitlock x reader #jasper hale imagine #jasper whitlock #jasper hale fluff #jasper hale x you #jasper hale fanfiction #jasper hale x fem!reader #jasper hale x y/n #twilight x reader #twilight fanfiction #the twilight saga #twilight saga

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mrsevans90 · 4 months

Text

Puppy Love

Captain Syverson x OFC Emma Miller Part 4

Summary: Austin Syverson has returned to Texas after retiring from the military and starts his own contracting business. Syverson is used to being alone and thinks he prefers it that way. While at work he stumbles upon an injured and abused puppy. When he meets the new veterinarian in town, Emma Miller, he is immediately smitten with her. It turns out Emma has some baggage of her own. Will they be able to make it work? Or is it just a case of fleeting puppy love?

Pairing: Henry Cavill as Captain Austin Syverson x OFC Emma Miller

Word Count: 4,633

Warnings: Pure SMUT. Literally, its porn with a plot. Protected P in V, oral sex (both male and female), fingering, squirting, cum swallowing, hickeys, tit worship, major size kink (he's just so big in all aspects that I can't help myself!), Naughty words,

MINORS DNI! Must be 18+

I do not authorize any copying/pasting, stealing of my work, or using my words as your own.

This story is not beta’d. All mistakes are my own.

A/N: I am an imperfect person who makes mistakes. All that I ask is to please be kind and if you enjoy it then please comment and REPOST! I appreciate any love, comments, and reposts more than you could know. Thank you for reading!

Part 3

Every bit of blood in my body rushed straight to my dick. Here we are sitting in the parking lot of the family owned Italian restaurant in town and I am so achingly hard I could barely breathe. I turn to Emma, grab the back of her neck and smash our lips together in a zealous and indecent kiss. Her hand rests on my thigh so she can pull herself closer and deepen the kiss. Our tongues caress and massage each other sensually disregarding the fact that we are in a public space. We swap dirty kisses across the truck console for a minute or two before pulling back.

“Shit, sugar. You can’t say things like that outside of the house where I can do somethin’ about it. I feel like a teenager trying to hide my hard-on.” Emma giggles knowing exactly how much of a tease she’s being as she reaches over and presses her hand against the bulge in my jeans. I grunt and wrap my hand around her much smaller one on top of my erection. I’ve gotta get her alone even if it’s just to keep kissin’ on her.

“Would you be opposed to coming back to mine for a little bit? I’ve got Mills in a crate and even though he hasn’t had any accidents yet, I don’t want to push my luck so early on.”

“Absolutely.” She says and I lean forward to peck her lips again.

I put my arm out behind her headrest so I can back up the truck and feel her instinctively lean closer towards me. Her teeth graze over her kiss swollen bottom lip and I almost growl.

I somehow make it home safely and park in my driveway in record time. I hop out and lock the truck so she can’t get out while I run around and open the door for her. She shakes her head while smiling and takes my hand to jump down. I intertwine our fingers as I walk to the front door. I need to get my garage all cleaned out from excess building materials so I can park inside the next time I bring her here in case it’s raining or too hot, I think to myself.

I let her inside the house and head toward Mills’ crate so that I can let him and Aika outside. Aika slowly and methodically stretches with a gentle tail wag as she greets us whereas Mills’ tail is wagging so hard he’s about to fall over as Emma crouches down to see him. The sexual tension between us is not as heavy as it was in my truck, but it’s definitely still there.

“Hi baby. I missed you too! Let’s go outside to potty! I don’t need you having an accident on the floor. Come on cutie pie.” She says to Mills before reaching out to Aika, cooing at her and giving her some head scratches. We follow the dogs outside so I can make sure Mills doesn’t run off and I reach over and pull Emma into my arms. I slowly stroke up and down her back as she wraps her arms around my neck and bashfully smiles.

“No pressure, remember? I can take you home any time just say the word.”

“I know Austin.” She says quietly before reaching on her tiptoes to kiss me. It’s a simple kiss that doesn’t hold even a quarter of the lust that our car kisses held. It’s more intentional, it’s trusting. As if I didn’t feel the emotions that she put into the kiss, she spoke them aloud. “Even though I just met you, I trust you more than I probably should.” I kiss her once more before responding.

“I trust you too.” She smiles at me as I stare into her ocean eyes. She runs her soft fingertips through my course beard as we kiss again.

A few minutes later, I whistle and the dogs head right back to the door. I’ll have to take them on a hike tomorrow to let them exercise but tonight I had other plans. Mills is chomping at the bits to get out some energy but he’ll be alright for tonight.

We got back inside and I directed the dogs to their beds. Mills was still learning but catching on to my different commands pretty quickly so he only needed a few redirections.

I looked at Emma and wrapped her into my arms as I pressed her body against mine. “Couch?” I asked while motioning with my head to the old leather couch in the living room and she shook her head no.

“Bed.” She whispered with a look like she was undressing me with her eyes. I grabbed her hand and started leading her to the staircase before I dipped down and picked her up over my shoulder. She squealed and smacked my butt and I playfully smacked hers in return as I hauled her up the stairs. After I opened my bedroom door, I slid her body down my front feeling her curves and breath against my neck. Once she was on her feet, she swallowed loudly before she ran her hands under the edge of my t-shirt. I leaned down to start kissing her while holding her jaw as her hands became braver and she let her fingers explore further up my torso. Her nails began lightly scratching across my abdomen under my shirt when I felt her smirk into our kiss.

“Finally gettin’ those belly scratches.” She joked and I grinned back at her. I reached down and grabbed her ass cheek in her shorts and replied, “I’m about to start drooling just like Aika.”

I pressed her tightly against my body before reaching behind my neck and pulling my shirt off and throwing it in the floor.

“Mmm..you’re so sexy, Austin.” She whispered as her hands roamed over my pecs and abs and I smiled widely. Before I could reply, she stepped back and pulled her top over her head and I saw a little belly button piercing that I didn’t know she had which made me lose my train of thought.

“Fuck me” I grunted under my hand as I ran my hand across my beard looking at her in her strapless black lacy bra. I reached to run my thumb across her belly piercing and she ran her arms up and down my biceps.

“I like this very much.” I told her gruffly.

She smirked, “College cheer squad all got them done together my freshman year. My dad almost had a stroke when he found out 3 months after I got it.” I grinned at her confession.

“Mmm.. you’re so beautiful.” I told her as I lightly kissed her neck. She gasped softly as my beard scraped the delicate skin below her ear. I felt her hands start opening my belt and shorts and I helped her slide them down my thighs so I was just in my black boxer briefs. I’m sure she could see everything I was packin' as my cock strained against the fabric. I reached down and unbuttoned her white shorts and she shimmied out of them before reaching up to kiss me again. I loved feeling her soft skin against my chest but if possible I got even harder as she stepped back, reached behind her and unclasped her bra before tossing it on the floor beside her. She stood there and self-consciously played with hands for a moment while letting me soak in the view.

“Goddamn, sugar. You’re the most exquisite woman I’ve ever seen.” I grumbled. I’ve always been a tits man and I’ve just been presented with the most beautiful pair I’ve ever gazed upon. Her perfectly round swells looked like they would fit flawlessly in my palms. The smooth skin decorated with pale pink nipples that strained and peaked from either her arousal or the coolness of the air. Her hair fell in soft waves around them as she watched me eye fuck her form. I bit my lip and with a grunt grabbed her hip bones and pushed her warm breasts against my chest. I groaned at the feel of her against me in nothing but a lacy black thong.

“You feel so good against me.” I murmured against her neck before catching her lips again with a sensual kiss. As we kissed, I walked her backwards to my bed and laid her down on her back. I ran my hand along her side before I reached and cupped her breast in my hand and groaned in approval. I began kissing and sucking down her neck until my mouth made it to her breast where I sucked Emma’s tit into my mouth. It didn’t escape my attention that she clamped her legs together in an attempt to create some friction, but I didn’t want to skip steps and rush through this. You can never redo your first time with a new partner and I didn’t want to be hasty. She deserved to have her body worshipped and I had every intention to do so. After paying sufficient attention to her right breast, I switched to the left that I had been massaging with my hand.

“Please, baby. Do something.” She whined as I continued focusing on her chest.

“Uh uh, let me take my time with you. I want to worship every bit of you tonight, sweetheart. You deserve for me to take my time.” I replied as I kissed, suckled, and tweaked her nipple before sucking a hickey into the top of her breast. She gasped and arched her back essentially pushing herself further into me. Once I was satisfied with the love bite, I decided the other one needed one as well. I sucked hickeys on her chest and stomach before making my way to the waistband of her panties. After I kissed each hip bone, I looked up at her asking for permission.

“Can I take these off, sugar?”

“Yes.” She whispered and lifted her hips for me to pull them down. I was greeted with the world’s most perfect pussy right in front of me. She instinctively pulled her legs back together and although I wanted to rip them apart to get a taste, I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable.

“Darlin’, please let me taste ya?” I asked while rubbing her thighs gently.

“You don’t have to do that, Austin. I know men don’t like it.”

“Men don’t like it? I don’t know what little boys you’ve been fucking with but eating an impeccable little peach like this is my idea of paradise. I want to, if you’ll let me. You smell amazing.” She blushed bright red and nodded.

“Words, darlin’. I want there to be no question that I have your consent.”

“Yes, Austin. You can taste me if you really want too.” She whispered and I grabbed her thigh and began leaving a gentle trail of kisses along it while massaging her other leg. When I got to her core, I placed a closed mouth kiss on top of her mound before peppering kisses along her other leg. I spread her legs open and damn, what a sight. She was clean shaven so I could see that her petals were glistening with her sweet arousal. I inhaled deeply and she squirmed as I placed a hot, wet kiss directly to her clit.

“Shit! Oh my god!” She said as her arms flailed out beside her and fisted the comforter.

“Just relax, sugar, and let Sy take care of you.” I licked down to her opening and back up to her clit with my tongue flattened wide. I lapped at her sweet essence greedily before sliding my middle finger into her tight channel.

“Oh fuck, that feels so good Austin…Don’t.. don’t stop Sy.”

“You taste divine, angel. Never tasted anything as good as you. So sweet.” I murmured against her heat and the vibrations of my voice stimulated her clit. I quickly slid my ring finger inside her along with my middle finger and curved them upwards as I felt around for her g-spot. I knew I found it when I heard her whine.

“Ahhh, right there baby. Right there!” I fight to refrain from humping my erection against the bed like a horny dog to relieve some pressure. Hearing her moans and watching her squirm while tasting her on my tongue is the most erotic thing but I need to focus.

“Mmm is that your sweet spot, babygirl? Did I find the spot that makes you extra tingly?” I grunt against her clitoris.

“Yes! Oh god, I think I’m going to cum. It feels different but so good. Please don’t stop!”

“I ain’t stoppin’ sugar. Not until you cum. Cum on my tongue, let me have it.” I say and moments later Emma’s entire body seizes up and her back arches. She moans so loudly I can barely keep from cumming in my boxers just at the sight and sound of her. I feel her hands reach down to my buzzcut as she tried to find something to hold onto and I made sure I had her hips pinned to the bed with my forearm. I continue lapping at her and am a little surprised when her juices splash against my face and chest. I double down and keep doing exactly what made her cum while swallowing up all of her arousal that I can. When she starts gently squirming away, I realize that she’s probably extra sensitive now so I gently kiss her thighs, hips, and belly. I place a kiss on her belly ring before I wipe my beard with my hand and slide up beside her. Emma’s arm is covering her face and her body is heaving as she catches her breath. She removes her arm from her face and I am greeted with her beautiful eyes staring up at me with exhaustion and possibly adulation.

“Holy shit. I’ve never experienced anything like that before.” She says and I chuckle before I lean down and kiss her lips.

“Yeah, never squirted before?” I ask smugly.

“I SQUIRTED?!” she yells with a look of terror and embarrassment.

“Sure did, sugar, and I drank every bit I could catch in my mouth. It was fucking glorious.” I wagged my eyebrows at her proudly.

“I’ve never.. I mean, I knew it felt different and I was really wet because it was so much more intense. I didn’t realize my body could even do that. Oh God, I’m so embarrassed.”

“Don’t you dare be embarrassed. It’s my goal to make sure you have those type of orgasms as much as you possibly can. I almost came just from doing it to you.” I tell her truthfully.

I lean over and pull her into a filthy kiss. She reciprocates the kiss before pushing me on my back and kissing down my chest.

“Can I take these off?” She asks as her hand slides under the elastic waistband of my boxers.

“Sure can, angel.” I say as I help her pull my boxers off.

“Fuck, you’re huge. There’s no way that will fit without ripping me in half.” She says quietly while she wraps her little fist around my girth. Her thumb swipes across the bead of precum on the head and massages it down my shaft. It looks better than I imagined it would be having her hands on me. I know I’m likely a bit more well-endowed than most men, but I never get tired of hearing it. I grin at her with a wink.

“Nah, we can make it fit and take it slow and gentle if that’s what you want darlin’. I promise I won’t hurt you. We don’t have to do anything if you aren’t comfortable with it.”

“No, I want too! The men I’ve been with before are like pencils compared to you though.”

She startles as I laugh boisterously at her comparison.

“Well, I’m glad all of those pencil dicks are in the past sweetheart.”

“Me too.” She giggles before leaning forward to kiss me as her small, cold hands start pumping my rigid, heated cock. Her breasts brush against my chest hair and it feels indescribable.

Emma starts kissing down my neck and chest before she gently bites one of my nipples and I jolt from the unexpectedness. She glances at me and smirks with my nipple in between her teeth and her hand on my cock. It’s incredibly sexy seeing how confidently she is exploring my body.

“You little minx. You have no idea what you do to me, do ya?”

Emma sensually and slowly shakes her head no as she licks further down to my happy trail. She pecks all around my trimmed pubic hair before she starts to kitten lick my cock.

I’m torn between throwing my head back while screwing my eyes shut tightly to keep myself from blowing my load already, and watching every move she makes so I don’t miss anything. I take a deep breath before opening my eyes to look back down at her where she looks straight into my eyes and takes me into her mouth.

“Fuckkkk sugar.” I groan and her hand works the base of my cock and her hot, wet mouth sucks the rest of me. I push a strand of hair from her face as I watch her. She pulls back with a pop before she spits on the head of my cock. Her other hand begins to softly massage my balls. Jesus, this image is better than any porn that could ever exist. She uses her hand to lube up my dick before taking a deep breath and shoving her mouth as deeply onto my cock as she can. I feel her throat constrict as she slightly gags around me and her eyes tear up. I pull her hair out of her face as she goes down on me again and hold it like a ponytail. I start to squirm each time she takes me in the back of her throat. I look at her and see tears in her eyes. I help her pull back a bit and she pulls off all the way with a pop and takes a deep breath.

“Baby, don’t hurt yourself now.” I tell her gruffly as I wipe her tears.

“I want to make it good for you.” She responds.

“Sugar, anything you do is good for me. You have no idea how difficult it’s been since you kissed me in the car to keep from blowing my load. You are so unbelievably beautiful and sexy darlin’. I’m trying not to come in ten seconds like an inexperienced teenager.”

“Mmm, but I want to taste you. Cum for me, Austin. Don’t hold back.” Emma says sexily and I groan as her hand still lazily strokes me.

“Yeah? Well, I’ll give you anything you want. Just don’t hurt yourself.” I tell her and guide her back onto me. The foreplay early on has me antsy and everything she is doing is making me see stars. As she has essentially given me permission, I grunt as I’m seconds away from exploding. “I’m bout to..” I manage to grumble out before I moan loudly and cum in her mouth only after another minute of her sucking me. She swallows each spurt as it shoots out of me. My head tilts back as my orgasm washes over my body and Emma keeps working me through it. I still have my hand loosely in her hair as I help her off of me and kiss her desperately. She seems shocked that I’m kissing her after I just came in her mouth so I kiss her even more intensely. I can barely taste myself on her tongue and if anything, it turns me on more since she was willing to do that for me. I’m not a spring chicken like I was once, so I’ll need a minute or two if she’s wanting to continue to the main attraction. I don’t want her to feel pressured though so I just lay back and continue kissing her as our hands roam each other’s bodies. I grab a handful of her ass and she whines as she slowly starts rocking herself against me. I push my thigh between her legs and she keens as she involuntarily grinds against it. She’s wet and hot on my thigh and my cock is readying itself to go again. I pull her flush against my thigh and flex my leg muscle and she moans. “Your sweet little body feels perfect against me. That’s right, baby. Grind your sweet little cunt on my thigh. Does that feel good?” I utter against her neck. She exposes her neck to the side to give me more access.

“Mmm hmm..” She hums.

“Tell me what you want, sugar.” I tell her.

“You.”

“Be specific. What do you want me to do?”

“Fuck me, Sy.”

“Yeah?”

She nods and I kiss her breathlessly. I turn to hover over her as I lay her on her back.

I reach over towards my nightstand and rummage through looking for a condom before I finally find one.

God, she looks ethereal laying under me. Her hair fanned out across the pillow, big blue doe eyes looking up at me above her. Her breasts rising and falling quickly as she breathes heavily from anticipation of what’s to come. Her sexy little smirk as she sees me taking in her beauty. I try to take a mental picture so that this image stays in my head forever. I watch her slide her delicate fingers slowly down her breasts and belly to her clit and gently circle it as she bites her bottom lip. Little minx knows exactly what she’s doing. I growl and rip the condom packet open with my teeth and pull the rubber out before tossing the foil package on the nightstand. I look down and Emma reaches forward to pump me a few times with her delicate little hands. I grunt and then slide the condom on before reaching down and making sure she’s still ready for me. I immediately slide two fingers in and she moans as I scissor my fingers to gently stretch her out. She’s still so wet and feels incredibly tight and warm.

“Austin, I need you. Now.” She moans as her hands grab onto my biceps.

I lean down and press a dirty, lustful kiss to her mouth before guiding myself to her entrance.

She moans with pleasure as I press the tip of my cock into her weeping hole and begin to slowly inch myself further into her heat.

“Fuck, Emma. You feel so good. So perfect.” I strain to say as I’m halfway inside her.

“Mmm. So big baby.” She replies.

“Am I hurting ya?” I ask just to be sure.

“No, keep going. Feels good. Just go slow and gentle.”

“Alright, just relax. Imma take good care of ya.” She is absurdly tight. I swear it’s like fucking a virgin and if she wasn’t wet there would be no way I could ease in without hurting her. She looked mighty fine being split open on my cock, though. I groan with pleasure when I finally sink all the way into her, my balls tight against her ass. I force myself to stay completely still to give her time to adjust to the intrusion. I lean down and kiss her.

“Jesus, you’re so big. M’all full.” She says breathlessly. I gently rub my hand across her belly where I can see the slight protrusion of my dick inside of her.

“Yeah, ya feel this?” I take her hand and press on her abdomen and she clenches. “That’s me sugar, all the way up here inside of ya.” She purposefully clenches down on me and I groan.

“Move, baby.” She commands and I don’t hesitate. Slowly I pull almost all of the way out of her before gently pushing back in. After a minute or so of gentle, methodical thrusts she wants more.

“Don’t hold back. Fuck me harder, Captain Syverson.” She breathes against my neck and my hips stutter for just a moment at my title before I excitedly pick up the pace. Her arms wrap around my neck as I piston in and out of her and her soft pants of pleasure are right in my ear. I’m going to cum before she does if she keeps that up. I quickly pull out of her and I see a brief moment of worry flash across her face before I flip her over and pull her perfect round ass in the air. I hadn’t given myself the opportunity to look at this sweet ass earlier so I admire it for a moment. I knead her cheeks before smacking the meat of her perky ass. I quickly reinsert myself into her warmth before running my calloused hand down her smooth back and grabbing her hair. I gently pull it towards me which causes Emma to arch her back in the sexiest way.

“Oh fuck yeah!" She cries and I grunt and set a methodical yet satisfying rhythm. I reach down and start rubbing her clit as she turns and looks at me over her shoulder.

“Like watching your Captain while he fucks you hard, Sugar?” I grunt with a smirk and she nods enthusiastically.

“Mmm taking Captain’s cock like a good girl. My good girl.” I rumble and she clamps down even tighter on me which makes me groan. I fuck her like this for a several minutes as she gets closer to her climax before I decide to turn her back over.

I toss her back onto the bed, throw her legs over my shoulders, and push back into her.

“I could feel you squeezing on my cock and I didn’t want to miss watching another orgasm wash across your beautiful face.” I tell her as I pound into her. I stick my thumb into her mouth and she instinctively sucks. I pull my thumb back out and reach down to rub gentle circles on her clit with it as I watch her breast jiggle with each thrust.

“Oh my god. You feel so good inside of me, Cap.” She moans. Her eyes glaze over as she bites her lip and grabs her breasts with her hands gently tweaking her nipples.

“Let go for me, sugar. You’re clenching on me so tight. I’m not far behind you.” I tell her between ragged breathes.

I force my eyes open to watch her as her orgasm course across her body. Her back arches and she lets out a sensual moan as her legs begin to twitch and shake against my shoulders. Her eyes roll back in her head and I watch the goosebumps form across her skin as her nipples are peaked and her chest is flushed. She’s so wet that I can hear the squelching as my balls smack against her ass and then my eyes slam shut when I’m thrust into my own euphoric climax. I slam into her three more times before stilling and filling the condom with my spend. I’m out of breath and covered in sweat as I lean over her but don’t put my weight on her petite body. Emma reaches up and gently scratches the back of my buzzcut as we catch our breaths. After a moment, I pull out of her, tie off the condom and toss it to the waste basket in my bedroom. I dump my body over to the side of her as my breathing regulates and I place my arm protectively across her waist.

Part 5

Taglist: @shellyshellshell @henryownsme @caramariehurst @beck07990 @mollymal@kingliam2019@syversonswife@identity2212@starfirewildheart@hannah9921 @wa-ni @kneelforloki @cutedoxie @summersong69@enchantedbytomandhenry @foxyjwls007 @geralts-yenn @courtlynwriter

#henry cavill characters #captain syverson #captain sy #captain syverson fanfiction #captain syverson fic #captain syverson smut #henry cavill #henry cavill fanfiction #captain syverson fluff

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macsimagines · 4 months

Note

Yandere Taiju, Sanzu and Baji baby grappling their darling

I did a taiju one separately but Baji and Sanzu are very exciting

TW:YANDERE BEHAVIOR, NON-CON, DRUG MENTION, BREEDING KINK, BABY TRAPPING

Yandere!Sanzu Haruchiyo

He does love you, truly he is very devoted to you. But he is still himself and he has many faults that make it very hard for you to want to be with him.

For all his love you still come second to Mikey, "Only Mikey," is his argument, but it still stings knowing you're never the number one priority.

Next is how he lives on the edge, even by gangster standards, Sanzu is a bit much. The drugs and violence even have some top members of Bonten nervous.

And you wants a family. You want a safe neighborhood to live in, a beautiful house and children to raise and love. You want to be a wife and deep down you know... You can't be Sanzu's wife.

Not that he'll ever hear or accept that. No, you're only supposed to be with him. Forever. In his own way he tries to convince you, tries to show the life and luxuries he can afford for you, but none of the expensive dresses or five star hotels and gourmet meals make you feel like this is the man you can build a life with...

Sanzu knows it too. He can feel your hesitation whenever you're together, like you're dying to get away. And truthfully, he didn't want a family. He just wanted you. Children will get in the way, you'll love the baby more and they'll take up all of your attention.

But the thought of you wanting to leave is worse than the feeling of having to share sooo... He slips something in your drink. He does it rarely, only when you're starting to talk about wanting to move forward in life or when he doesn't want to hear you deny him nookie.

And you're soo cute like this, pliable and vulnerable. You can't argue with him when you're too out of it too even make more than a few sounds.

Don't worry baby, he'll take care of everything. Just relax and when he finally lets you sober up you'll have a baby in you.

Yandere! Baji Keisuke

Babygirl he wants it more than anything. Putting a baby in you is what gets him going 90% of the time now, the other 10% being the idea of making you his wife.

It happened when he saw you holding a baby, one of your friends, and he just loved the way you cooed and rocked the infant. Like you were made to do it.

Baji brings it up later, casually. "Looked like a real mom for a second there, Y/N. Think you could hack it?" "Uh, I dunno. I don't really think about it."

Oh, but he does. Constantly ever since that day, putting a baby in you is his favorite daydream. You holding a sweet infant with his hair and your eyes.

He's not subtle about it really, he forgoes condoms altogether whenever you two fuck now. "You're so fucking pretty when you're full of me baby," he's going to whisper in your ear, pumping you with everything he's got.

Breeding King, he's got you taking it from the back, from the front, on the couch in the bathtub and even on the kitchen counter. Always making sure to praise you, "Good girl, taking it all," "Gonna cum, make me a daddy-Fuck!" "You're gonna look sooo good, mama~!"

You try not to worry about it, you've got birth control right? But then Baji finds out about it, of course that idiot had no idea what it was.

"Wha'dya mean you're on the pill? Hell have I been breaking my back for!?"

Oof he does not like that he's been wasting his cum baby, he needs it to make you the perfect mama he dreams and wants. So of course without your knowledge or consent he throws it out.

"B-Baji! I need my phone so I can refill my prescription!" "No. You don't need anything that's gonna keep me and you from making our baby."

And now you're not leaving the house, talking to your friends or even allowed to look out the window. Nothing that distracts you from doing what you were made for.

"C'mon, Mama. Don't pout. This is what we both want."

#yandere tokyo revengers #yandere baji keisuke #yandere sanzu haruchiyo

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aceandersonn · 4 months

Text

The Older Sibling-PART ONE

Main Masterlist

Character Masterlist

(Anakin Skywalker x GN!reader)

Word Count: 4377 words

Outline: Reader is desperate to find a job and lands one babysitting one of the richest kids in town. Excited to start, reader eventually meets the older brother of the kid they're babysitting, and finds out he's the biggest jerk (and most handsome) man in town

Warning(s): MATURE CONTENT: Swearing, kissing without consent, Anakin being a jerk for no reason, enemies to lovers trope ig

Story below the cut

You were doing anything to get a job. All your debts from college were building up quicker than you liked and you were overwhelmed with the idea of being sent to jail for having too much money due.

So you found yourself getting a job as a nanny. Yes, a nanny. You were to look after a young girl around the age of 7 all day and prepare all meals for her. The job was simple enough. Now being a graduate from University, you no longer have to worry about studying for things and getting good grades.

What made this job hard was you weren’t working for some random family that you found online that needed a job. You were working for the incredibly wealthy family that seemed to ‘rule’ the small town you lived in. The Skywalkers.

They owned just about every successful business. And, they were also related to the Mayor of the town. Which is quite a big deal.

So, when you pulled up to the Skywalker residence almost five minutes late, you were worried that you were going to get fired immediately. But, you still held your breath and prayed to the Maker that your day would go just fine and you wouldn't have to worry about job hunting for at least a few years now.

When the door was opened, you were confused to see someone you didn’t even recognise. He was at least 6 feet, and he looked like he was about to just slam the door back into your face when he made eye contact with you.

“Um. . .” You trailed off.

“Who are you and what do you want?” The man asked you.

“I-” You began but were interrupted when an older lady walked up behind and practically shoved him out of the way.

“Hello dear! You must be Y/N! I am so glad you came, I hope Mr. Windu didn’t frighten you off. He’s just our home's security guard since we have had a few break-ins over the years. He might look scary but I promise you he’s a big teddy bear (Mr. Windu huffed at that, to which the Lady smiled to) Well, nevermind that! Come in, come in! Ahsoka can’t wait to meet her new caretaker. And did I mention how grateful I am for your help? I can go on and on all day about it.”

She waved you into the house and you followed in, the door being slammed behind you.

You smiled when you made eye-contact with the woman and immediately recognised her. Shmi Skywalker.

“Mother, who is this?” You heard a small voice call out from behind you. You turned around and noticed a small, young girl standing straight. She wore a pretty red dress that flowed off her waist elegantly and her hair was tied up into two french braids that went past her shoulders. She had bright blue eyes and she had small freckles dotting her face. You had to admit: She was one adorable little girl.

“Hello there,” You smiled. “You must be Ahsoka. I am your new caretaker, Y/N.”

The young girl grinned and ran up to you and gave you a tight hug.

“Hi! I am so so happy you are finally here! My older brother left for work and I was gonna die of boredom.”

You giggled at the young girl’s dramatic speech and grasped her hand firmly.

“Why don’t you show me where you usually play?” You asked her with a twinkle of mischief in your voice.

“I’m so glad to see you both are getting along just fine.” Shmi interrupts you with a happy tone of voice. You turned your head to meet her gaze and gave her a small smile.

“Thank you for giving me this opportunity, Mrs. Skywalker.”

“Not a problem dear. Now I have some work to do. I won’t be back till at least 12 tonight. So feel free to take the spare room near Ahsoka’s room. Since I often am out late, you can expect to find yourself there quite often if you don’t mind.”

“Not at all, Ma’am. I brought enough things for one night.” You politely replied.

“Splendid! Well, Ahsoka darling, I’ll see you tomorrow bright and early, hopefully.”

Shmi opened her arms for a hug and Ahsoka broke from your grasp and ran to her mother.

“Good-bye Mother! I love you.” Ahsoka whispered. Shmi gave her a small peck on her cheek before she rushed out the door. When the door closed behind her, you faced Ahsoka and gave her a small and cheeky smile.

“So, what do you want to do?” You asked her.

“I want to dress up! And also, can we bake some cookies?” Ahsoka asked with puppy dog eyes. You giggled at her interesting combo of activities.

“Sure, but you have to choose which one you want to do first.”

Ahsoka stood completely still for a moment before she grins.

“How about we dress up AND bake at the same time? We could pretend we are in the 1800’s and we sell baked goods for a living!” Ahsoka beamed over her idea and your heart just about melted. The way a child’s imagination works always fascinated you. You for one never had much of a childhood since you came from a poorer family and worked to help as long as you could remember. But you never let that stop you from supporting children who are fortunate to do what they want and when they wanted.

“Sure.” You grabbed Ahsoka’s hand before deciding to pick her up. “Now, how about you show me where your room is so we can get changed?”

+++

About two hours later, you both were dressed in robes that Ahsoka found in her dress up closet and had completed a nice batch of chocolate-chip cookies. By the time lunch came around, Ahsoka had almost four cookies and was high from the sugar and was (literally) bouncing off of walls.

You then decided it was best for the both of you to go outside to the backyard and play out there for a while to get rid of some of her built up energy. Ahsoka was of course running around the whole time. It wasn’t until about an hour later that she was completely drained of sugar and with heavy feet walked back to where you had seated on the porch overlooking the large yard.

“Hello Ahsoka, are you okay?” You asked when you noticed her attitude had changed from her usual cheery self. She nodded and sat beside you before she leant her head onto your shoulder.

“I am okay.I just miss my older brother, Y/N.” She whimpered as tears began to fill her eyes. You hugged her from the side and rested your chin on her small head.

“It’s alright, I’m pretty sure he misses you too.”

“I don’t think so. He is an adult now and he’s never ever home to play with me.” Ahsoka said with a pout. “I believe that big brother has replaced me with his job and loves his job more than me.”

“What’s your older brother's name?” You asked her with a gentle tone. Ahsoka’s facial expression changed from one of anger to one of joy within a few seconds. And from that observation, you realised that she seemed to love talking about her older brother.

“His name is Kinny. Or at least that’s what I call him. I don’t ever call him by his real name because he thinks it’s stupid. Also, some of his friends call him Vader. But I personally believe that name is dumber” Ahsoka shrugged. You hummed at the new information before you pulled out your phone to get an idea about the time.

“Well, it’s around supper time now. Are you hungry for anything in particular?” You asked the young girl. Ahsoka nodded slowly before a familiar mischievous grin graced her features.

“Can we have cookies for dinner?”

You let out a small laugh at the response before you shook your head.

“You have had way too many cookies for today, young one. I think we should save some for your older brother when he gets home.”

Ahsoka seemed pleased with the arrangement and agreed.

+++

After about an hour or so you had Ahsoka go to bed. After she fell asleep, you decided to go downstairs to read a book that you brought with you to entertain yourself until you decided that it was your bedtime. You sighed quietly and continued to flip through the book, but your ears perked up when you heard the front door open. You sat up straight when you remembered that Mrs. Skywalker said she wouldn’t be home as early as 12, and it currently was around 9pm. You peered over the top of your book and noticed someone was standing in front of you.

“Um. . .hi?” you cringed at the question. The stranger, (being a young man of at least older than 20 years of age) gave you a questioning look. From the looks of it, he was at least 6 foot 2 and had an even scarier appearance than the guy you met this morning at the door. He had ocean blue eyes and a scar ran down the left side of his cheek.

You gulped quietly when you noticed he began to walk over to you slowly.

“Who are you? And what are you doing in my house?” he asked you. That was when you realised who this man was. It was the other Skywalker; Ahsoka’s older brother. Kinny? Was that his name?

“I’m Y/N. Who are you?” You asked with the most confidence you could muster. The man raised a brow at the question.

“You don’t know who I am?” He asked you with amusement in his eyes. You nodded way too quickly for your own liking. But he was making you nervous and you didn’t exactly want to respond with words at the moment. You feared you would accidentally say something wrong and get kicked out of the house before your brain could even process it.

“Seriously?”

You made eye-contact with the stranger again and raised your brow this time.

“Seriously what?”

“You really have no idea who I am?”

“No? Am I supposed to?” You sheepishly answered and nearly squealed when the stranger took another step closer to you.

“I am Anakin Skywalker. How the heck do you not know that? I like-run multiple businesses that are scattered across this town. Including The Order? You know, the biggest arcade and restaurant in town?”

You stood there dumb-found when you realised who he really was. Anakin Skywalker. The Anakin Skywalker. You had heard about him from your group of girl friends who all simp over him like love-sick animals. But you never paid much attention to those sorts of things. You didn’t even have any social media accounts since you used a crappy flip-phone. Even though the Skywalker’s were basically the rulers of the small town of Coruscant, you never cared much to find out who they really were and what they looked like.

“I wouldn’t know. I have never been to an arcade.” You told him with a shy smile when you saw his face go from one of curiosity to bewilderment.

“What?! What rock have you been hiding under?” he rudely replied to the new information.

You rolled your eyes at his response before you continued to read the book you sat down before the conversation began. It was quite obvious that this small action added fuel to the fire; and it took a second for you to realise that your book was snatched out of your hands and thrown onto the floor.

“Hey, why did you do that?” you calmly asked him. You weren’t someone who often looked for trouble, it went against all the things your beloved parents ever taught you.

“Why do you think?! I was talking to you and you decided to ignore me!” He shouted. In his fit of rage he brought his hand up to his hair and pulled on it. You watched the scene he was making unravel with a straight face. It was incredibly difficult seeing a grown man act like a five year old child.

“Umm for the record Mr. Skywalker, you were basically scrutinising how I live my life. I don’t care what you think, and I don’t do what every other person in this town does. So leave me be and get on with your evening. Good-night.” At those words, you stood up from where you were seated and walked to the book Anakin had earlier grabbed and thrown to the floor. But as you began to walk away, your arm was grabbed and you were pulled into the very strong chest of Anakin Skywalker.

“I wasn’t done talking to you.” Anakin said calmer than before. You tried to pull away from his grip but it was no use. He was incredibly strong. You sighed in frustration.

“I just wanted to say, I’m sorry you're such a Hobbit and don’t search for adventure.” Anakin grinned at his stupid joke. You however dryly laughed before you kicked him in the shins and began to walk to the room you were given.

“Why you fucking-I’LL TELL MY MOTHER!” He yelled before he practically bounded up the stairs to what you assume was his room and heard a door slam shut.

“What a prick.” you said to yourself calmly before closing the doors to your own room.

+++

You woke up early the next morning and got dressed into comfortable clothing for the day. You wore a nice pair of jeans and a large sweater since it was a bit chilly outside.

You decided to start up breakfast for Ahsoka since it was part of your job to do so. There was a small decision between pancakes and porridge. Eventually, you decided to make some pancakes and began to look around the kitchen for the ingredients.

After about ten minutes or so, you jumped at the sound of a coffee machine turning on. You looked up from what you were doing and noticed a very-much grumpy Anakin Skywalker. His arms were folded and his hair was matted to his face. You sheepishly smiled at him before turning around and continuing on with what you were doing before.

“What are you doing?” you heard a groggy voice. You turned back around and noticed Anakin was standing directly behind you.

“What are you doing?” You asked as you attempted to shove him back a ways. He smirked at your failure before he stepped up closer to you. He could feel him breathing down your neck and you shivered. You turned around and your face was mere millimetres away from his. You gulped and attempted to move away from him but found you were stuck between the counter and him.

“What do you mean? I’m just standing here.” He grinned when he realised he’s struck a tick that bothers you.

“You're way too close to me. Can you move back a few steps? Actually, a few feet?” You once more attempted to push him back but he just stood his ground and didn’t even move a centimetre. You groaned aloud in annoyance and just turned around and attempted to ignore his presence.

Meanwhile, Anakin was having the thrill of his life. He wanted to watch what you were doing and wanted to be as close as possible. Y/N (and whatever your last name was) was interesting to him. He never met someone so young who lived in a way you did. You couldn’t have been much younger than he was, and he was about to turn 24 in a few months. He decided to test dangerous waters and stept even closer to you. His body pressed against your own; he let out a nervous breath when he noticed you continued to do what you were doing and completely ignored his existence.

Meanwhile, you were having a literal heart attack. Like what the actual fuck is this man doing? Isn’t this illegal?

Your head swarmed with many questions and before you realised it, the pancake batter was done. The only problem being Anakin standing literally behind you.

“You may as well fuse with my body, Skywalker,” you told him when you realised he still wouldn’t let you move.

“I wouldn't mind that.” He said to himself.

“What?” You asked, confused on what he was mumbling about.

“You know,” he began, a smirk growing across his handsome face. “Instead of sitting on babies, maybe you should sit on my lap?” Anakin flirted.

You just about froze at what you heard. Who does he think he is? Sitting on babies?

“Bloody hell? What are you on about?” you paled.

“You're my sister's babysitter are you not?” He asked.

“I-yes?” you were still confused. That was until you thought about the fact that he said ‘babysitter’. You sighed heavily when you realised you are practically gonna look after two children instead of just one that was already pretty mature for such a young age.

“Skywalker, I am trying to make breakfast. I would appreciate it if you would get out of my bloody way.”

“Woah, chill out. I wasn’t trying to make you angry.”

You just about tackled him to the ground when you heard that. You made eye contact with him and tried to look threatening. But to no avail, you found yourself immediately looking away. His face was angelic. His bright blue eyes, curly dirty-blonde hair; and the grin he sent you made him look even more handsome.

You decided to just once again ignore him and began to cook the pancakes on the stove. You were glad when you didn’t feel him standing behind you anymore. But when you turned around to serve plates, you ran right into him once more.

You were about to yell at him when you felt him grab a hold of your waist and you felt lips connect with yours. It took you a few seconds to realise you were kissing him; and completely by accident. You didn’t kiss back as you were frozen in complete and utter shock. You looked up and noticed Anakin was looking at you with a look you couldn’t quite decipher.

But one thing for sure you did know, was how pissed you were about the situation.

“Huh, that’s never happened to me before. And it took, what, only a few hours for you to try and make out with me?” Anakin said with a cocky tone of voice. Your head nearly blew up in rage when he said that. Make out with him? Mate, you must be mental. You took steady breaths to try and calm yourself down.

“You-” you paused when you got a hold of yourself. “You just stole my first kiss, you bastard.”

Much to your surprise you watched Anakin smile at you.

“That makes it even better then, can I kiss you again? And what do you even mean by ‘steal’? You kissed me, not the other way around.”

You could feel tears begin to settle in your eyes but you held them back.

“I didn’t even want to kiss you the first time, you sorry excuse of a human.” You said with a shaky voice. As your mother had always said, it’s usually the men that were incredibly handsome that caused a lot of anger and heartbreak. And she was right. You always thought it was a joke to protect you from doing dumb things, but now, you realised she wasn’t that wrong. Your first kiss was stolen, by a stuck up, rude prick.

Anakin looked taken aback at your statement.

“What do you mean you didn’t want to kiss me? Everyone wants to kiss me.” That was all it took for you to confirm that Anakin Skywalker was a hot-headed, self-centred, arrogant man.

You huffed at him and finished serving plates. After you made the last plate you saw a familiar face walk up to you in the large kitchen.

“Good-morning Ahsoka, did you sleep well?” you asked her with a cheery voice. Anakin raised his brow when he noticed your change in attitude.

Ahsoka nodded and walked up to stand next to you. She reached up to grab a plate for herself and you helped her. She giggled in thanks and ran towards the dinning room to eat her food.

“Little prick didn’t even say ‘hi’ to me.” you heard a very grumpy Anakin complain.

“Maybe if you were a ‘good big brother that spent time with her often,’ she’d say ‘hi’ to you.” You smirked before grabbing your own plate and walked to the dining room to find Ahsoka.

+++

Breakfast was over quickly and you began to clean up the mess from it. Anakin had left shortly after he snatched a couple of pancakes to do who knows what. You were quite glad he was no longer there to mope around and cause trouble.

“Y/N! Can we go to the aquarium today? I want to see mermaids and fishes!” Ahsoka practically screamed when you finished putting the last plate into the dishwasher.

“The aquarium? Which one? There are many here.”

“Kamino Aquarium, obviously.”

You gulped. Of course the young Skywalker has been to the most extravagant aquarium Coruscant had to offer.

“How about we go somewhere else? Like the park or the public pool? It’s a far drive to Kamino and back.”

Ahsoka hummed in thought. She made a face that uncannily looked like the one Anakin made when he was teasing you-wait, why are you thinking about Anakin?

You shook your head at your thoughts and looked back at Ahsoka who seemed to know what she wanted to do.

“Can we go to the Park? It’s close to where Kinny works and he might stop by and say hello.”

Your smile dropped and you felt like frowning. Of course that insolent pup is going to be there. You brought your hand up to your face and pinched the bridge of your nose.

“Sure, ‘Soka, we can go to the park.” You sighed through your nose and began to head up to your temporary room to grab your things. Ahsoka jumped up and down in excitement and ran to her room to get herself ready.

+++

“Y/n! Looky! Kinny is here!” Ahsoka shouted at the top of her lungs. You watched her jump off the swings she was on and bound towards the entrance of the small playground. You didn’t even turn around to acknowledge the presence of the other adult. Instead, you crossed your arms and legs and sat with gritted teeth on the small bench that overlooked the park.

“And hello to you too, Y/n/n.” you heard a familiar voice. You rolled your eyes and turned to face the culprit of all your troubles of the past 24 hours.

“Y/n/n? Really? Already on nicknames?” you huffed in annoyance.

“Yup. And you can call me anything you want as well.”

“How about dumbarse?” You said through clenched teeth.

Anakin chuckled and shook his head.

“Careful, Y/n/n, we have a pair of young ears listening.”

“Kinny, what is dumb arms?” Ahsoka asked innocently. Anakin snorted and you choked on the air you were breathing.

“Umm. . .he isn’t able to control his arms.” you said, hoping she would accept the answer. Anakin raised a brow at that, and was about to argue before Ahsoka bursted into a fit of giggles.

“Kinny, is that why you have people at your workshop help you? You can’t lift weights? I thought you were a strong person.”

“Wha-? I am! Y/n doesn’t know what she’s talking about.”

“Nuh uh, she went to adult school and you only went to teen school. She is, therefore, smarter than you.” Ahsoka stuck her tongue out at Anakin, before getting bored with the conversation and scurried off towards the play set where other kids her age were playing.

“Really? That was the best you could think of?”

“Well, I’m so sorry, but you weren’t gonna talk so I did.”

“Now my sister thinks I am incapable of doing things.”

“From what I’ve seen of you? You’re not totally incapable.” you said, suddenly interested in picking the skin around your nails.

“Really? Like what?” You smirked at his reply. He was a compliment seeker. How convenient, time to hurt his pathetically large ego.

“You’re exceptionally good at making a terrible first impression. Your flirting skills are mediocre, and you throw more tantrums than a four year old.”

You looked back up to see his reaction, and was confused to see him grinning ear-to-ear.

“You don’t like the way I flirt? Tell me, what do you like then?”

Your jaw dropped to the ground. What the heck is this man on? You basically just degraded him and he wasn’t even going to acknowledge it? You felt something touch your knee and noticed it was his hand. You didn’t even see him sit down next to you, that and the fact he’s basically trying to sit on you.

“S-Skywalker, can you please move? You're in my personal space.” You tried to push him back.

“Why?”

“What do you mean ‘why’? I already gave you a reason.”

“No, not that.”

“Then what, Skywalker?” You groaned in annoyance. You felt his hand begin to move up to your thigh and your breath got caught in your throat. This was definitely illegal.

“Why do you hate me so much? Why don’t you like me?” He whispered.

“I don’t hate you. I just really despise you and how you act. You were rather rude to me last night, and you kissed me without my consent.”

“I didn’t kiss you, you kissed me.”

“Look, it doesn’t matter ‘who kissed who’, it still happened and you tried to make a joke out of it.”

“I was just teasing you-”

“No, Anakin. You shouldn’t do that to people. It ninety-nine percent of the time rubs them the wrong way.” With that, you stood up from the bench and walked to where Ahsoka was playing.

“C’mon, let’s go home.”

PART TWO OUT SOON

#x reader #star wars #anakin #fanfic #x y/n #clone wars #modern au #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin x reader #star wars x reader #star wars fanfiction #anakin skywalker #modern!anakin

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tonowariswife · 1 year

Text

pls do not repost any of my stories on other apps! btw requests are open!!angst!

Pain

tonowari family x daughter!reader

(MENTIONS OF DEATH)

word count:1862

My father takes me out hunting with him. The hunters of our clan hunt closer to the end of the reef for bigger fish to feed our people. My father Tonowari looks away from me for a bit looking at the net to see what has been caught. I lean down to put my hand into the water and fall off making a little bloop noise. My father doesn't seem to notice me swimming off from everyone, talking to the hunters. “Uhm… Sir, wasn't your daughter with you?” A hunter asks, looking down and not seeing me. My father chuckles thinking he was joking and reaches down to pat my head and realizes I'm not there. He rushes into a state of panic telling hunters to look in the water for me. “Y/n!” My father yells out to me but I only hear his voice, not able to make out what he is saying.

I swim in the water watching a baby Mawup swim around. I see a small spiked-back creature with a white underbelly a few meters away. I turn my head sideways confused about what it is. It looks as if it's copying me, turning its head to me too. I reach out as it muzzles its head into my palm, it moves its head and swims closer to me and nuzzles against my leg before I feel a pair of strong arms lift me out of the water. It swims away from the big figure, scaring it off. “I want to go back!” I say patting my father's back, he chuckles. “Your mother would skin me alive if she found out I almost lost you near the reef boundaries.” He lifts me onto his Skimwing and then calls the hunter back, they all grab the net of fish for the week before heading back. I see our village Marui’s soon getting larger as we get closer. Once we reach the sand, I jump off to tell my mom what I saw. I see her and my big brother playing in the sand, building a small house out of the sand. “Mama, Mama!” I yell out to her and her head turns to me smiling, opening her arms open, and hugging me. I jumped into them excitedly to tell her what I found. “Mama, guess what I did!” My father arrived shortly after lifting my brother, Aonung, and swinging him around before sitting Aonung down to let him finish his same marui and listen to what I was saying. “So Daddy took me to where he gets fish and then I went to touch the water and fell!” I smile looking at my mom to see if she was listening. She smiles at me before glaring at my father. “Then, I swam and saw a big spiky fish, it was nice and it was a baby like me,”

I explain my mother looks at me confused never hearing of a spiky fish, she looks at my father confused he shrugs I continue, “It was gray, and his belly was white (a baby akula🤭)and he was so cute! We are friends now!”

I walk up to Aonung and ask him what he’s building. “It's a Marui, I'm gonna have my own when I grow up!” I smile and sit next to him. “Can we be neighbors? I want a big marui made out of seashells?” I ask excitedly, barely able to contain it. It was a radiation of happiness growing off of me.

*10 years later*

Y’all know I love some angst so here we gooo

I jumped in the water, something was off, It was hard to stay above water, the adrenaline from previously being on the boat and saving my sister, and the sully’s wore off. I hardly breathe, almost gasping, making Neteyam turn to me, he looks at me and his face drops in fear. “Lo’ak, Y/n’s been hit!” Neteyam yells, looking at me before dragging me to an Ilu. I started thinking about this inevitable death. I closed my eyes and blinked very slowly. Not fully coming to terms with it, I needed to talk to my family. I needed to see them even if it was the last time, for a long time. I hardly realize me being picked up and placed on something rough. I feel my back pressed to the rock and look around at the sand surrounding me. I hear yells from my mother, feet running against the sand. “Eywa no..” I see her lean over me on her knees, hair covering the light from the fire. I feel somewhat strong hands grabbing my hand and holding it. I turned and saw Aonung's tears filling his eyes. “Oh sister, what has happened?” Aonung asks me, but I couldn't respond. I see Tsireya drop-down next to me, she leans over my leg rubbing it. Oh, and how much it pained me, I turned to my father, anger filled his eyes but hiding behind that anger was sadness, an incurable emotion. My chest heaves up and down as words escape my mouth, “I see you, all of you” I see them look up at me as my mother's silent cries break out into a full-out sob, and my chest heaves for one last time.

The full sully family around me surrounded your body, Your mother lifting my body and hugging me, screams escaping her lips. Your father dropped down, and he broke down. Your father was a strong man with no weaknesses except one, his family. Neytiri tried to confront my mother by putting a hand on her shoulder. “GET AWAY! AWAY FROM THIS PLACE! AWAY FROM MY FAMILY! LET US MOURN, THE DEATH OF MY OLDEST DAUGHTER!” Ronal yells and hisses at Neytiri, yanking away her shoulder. Tonowari, hardly able to lift himself from the sand, goes to his mourning family, grabbing them and pulling all 5 of them together. There were no more Troublesome 3, only 2 and ½ kids left. He had to protect them no matter what, he could not let them take them as they took his oldest daughter. Tears seeped out of Aonungs eyes, no more swimming together, no more bullying each other, no more sibling rants, no more Y/n. He sniffles and looks at his remaining sister wondering about the thoughts that raced through her head, staring at her older sister.

Tsireya wanted to give up, her sister kept Tsireya grounded, she was in touch with her feelings but her older sister helped her get over the bad emotions… She kept Tsireya afloat when all she wanted to do was sink. She kept her balance, but as she watched her sister in the fight between life and death, seeing death win stabbed her heart repeatedly.

But nothing could even fathom how Ronal felt about her oldest daughter, her little girl that she cradled in her arms dead. The daughter she taught to be in touch with Eywa, the girl that grew into a beautiful healer, and strong like a warrior. The little girl that she sang to every night until they could sing together. Gone. Even when they argued and lost patience with each other, she felt lucky to even be a mother of a beautiful girl. She couldn't turn back time or pray to Eywa that she’d come back to her. She just hoped she could see her on the other side. To Eywa she returns, she'll find herself in a room with all the people we've lost and she dances with joy as pure as her father's heart.

And oh her father, her poor father, he would've given up everything he ever done, owned, or achieved to get his child back. He lost a piece of himself he could never get back, her smile now a memory in his mind. They can't ride together, and no longer practice spear fighting. If only he had one more day to hold onto his daughter tight, not like today when he let her free from his grasp of protection, he shouldn't have let her go. But he had to hold on for his kids, and his mate in such a vulnerable time for his family. Villages have fallen, from the sky people but out of all the stress of trying to keep his people safe, she was the reassurance he needed to push on, all of his kids were. Oh, how he was grateful to have the days he had with you. Now memories, memories he won't be able to relive with you now that you are gone. Time felt frozen, a moment feeling like forever. He wished upon every great star in the sky, for you to come back. Sadly, that’s just not how life works.

A few hours later they had to lay you to rest, in the ocean from which you were born. Ronal prayed that you will meet again whether in another life or before Eywa. Tsireya and Aonung cried watching as their, your parents swim below to put you to rest. Tonowari’s eyes were red as if they burned, from crying so much. Ronal knew you were somewhere you can be free from the murder and chaos of this world. Tsireya whispered a small prayer to Eywa, hardly intelligible, Aonung hand placed on her shoulder. She looked at his eyes brimming with tears again as Aonung pulled her into a hug. This night was forever marked in their hearts, always a reminder of what came of their sister and oldest daughter. Aonung wanted to scream but he couldn't, it wouldn't come out of his mouth. In his eyes, you could see sadness and pain. It wasn't just another night, it was a night where you fought for your life and lost. He knew everything in this world dies but he never thought yours would come so soon. Your parents emerged from the water, the water dripping off of them as they looked at their remaining children. Ronal swam and grabbed them and hugged them, she wanted to shield you all from this.. and she failed. She couldn't shield you but as she held her last 2 kids she knew she had to protect them. Tonowari came closer holding his whole family in his embrace, he felt as if someone was missing, and that someone was you. Where danger found them, it follows with tides of anguish and pain. Tonowari looked up into the sky a new star in the sky, not one of the sky people but a beautiful star and it shone on his family, the tears that he cried as the star twinkled, he believed you were letting him know that you were watching them and protecting them.

#aonung #avatar #jake sully #na’vi #na’vi x reader #tonowari #tsireya #neytiri #loak #neteyam #angst #avatar angst #avatar x reader #avatar x daughter reader #navi x reader #kiri avatar #tuktirey #ronal x daughter reader #tonowari x daughter reader

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akutasoda · 6 months

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Hellu

Me again‼️ :D

I would like to request a Lyney, Fremi and Lynette (fluff) x reader who’s like- under Columbina’s care? Like her’s ward- like they just meet on some Fatui meeting mby? I thought about reader having these wings like Columbinas ones but only a single pair of smaller one’s, they’re also keeping their eyes closed (sometimes open them but lovely beautiful amazing Columbina is teaching them to keep 'em closed) they're also trying to keep that lil smile similiar to Columbina’s one but yk they can’t keep it for long so mostly that little smile or just not smiling, not a much of talker, just a smaller version of our beloved Columbina

Thought it would be fun🤷‍♀️

(At this point u’re the only (and my fav) artist Im asking for shots ily💕)

birds of a feather

synopsis - maybe being in similar situations wasn't that bad

includes - freminet, lynette, lyney

warnings - gn!reader, fluff, slight angst, wc - 810

a/n: hello!! thank you so much <3

the house of the hearth was surprisingly quite the large building. while the knave did quite the good job at maintaining it and attending to the various children, sometimes it became to much for her alone especially when she had duties to attend to. so the only person she ever trusted to assist was the damselette.

therefore entrusting some wards to her in the event she would be unable to attend to them. but when you became the latest child to enter the house of hearth, arlecchino was shocked for your sheer resemblance to her co-worker, knowing exactly what ward to entrust you to.

additionally she immediately told columbina as it definitely wasn't an everyday occurrence to see another like columbina. naturally upon meeting you, the damselette immediately took a liking to you and you took a liking to her as you too had never met someone like you.

and from that day onward, you spent more time at columbina's side than at the house of the hearth. she saw you more like family considering how similar you two were and wanted you to be taught personally by her. afterall she knew your powers better than anyone else.

but ultimately, spending so much time with columbina meant you never really socialised with other children in the house. and even so, the first fellow 'children of the hearth' you had met you got along immediately with. although you weren't that talkative you would be dumb to ignore the obvious signs that you could get along with them.

freminet ★↷

↪when he first saw you, he felt a sort of pity for you. he understood your situation but he knew he most likely couldn't do much about it. and that meant that he did sort of want to befriend you to offer a light that he never had in your situation.

↪you both weren't that talkative, but neither of you minded. most the time you spent with freminet was spent in a comfortable silence.

↪he found your wings so interesting. they fascinated him and he would always ask to have a proper look at them. he did also find them quite beautiful no matter how muched they reminded him of a certain harbinger.

↪same went for your eyes, when he first saw them he asked why you never showed them but answered his own question when he remembered your situation.

lynette ★↷

lyney ★↷

↪she initially never noticed you were there. she hated the fatui meetings where she had to be present, she saw no point in her being there. but when she did see you she couldn't help but feel slightly curious even though nost questions she had could be answered by common sense.

↪but when she did start to know you, which admittedly was a bit awkward as you both weren't known talkers, she did find herself becoming more comfortable around you. you both understood each other and enjoyed spending time with another.

↪she never commented on your slight odd smiling habits as she did admittedly have something similar. but she did comment on why you always had to try and keep your eyes closed. they were beautiful, so why did you hide them?

↪she always found your wings very pretty to look at. they reminded her of her cat-like features. bit she did very much enjoy seeing them.

↪upon seeing you for the first time, he felt indifferent. maybe even a bit of resentment considering who you were stood right next to. although he knew you most likely were in a similar situation to theirs, he still couldn't help but slightly judge you.

↪although overtime as he began to see you and be with you more and more, it did become more sympathy and he started letting down those initial walls, becoming his more normal joyous side.

↪the very first time he saw your eyes he wondered why you hid them but then he remembered who you were spending time with. he did love your wings however.

↪although sometimes they reminded him too much of columbina and by default the fatui but he knew that wasn't your but it couldn't be helped.

#x reader #x gender neutral reader #genshin impact x you #genshin impact x gender neutral reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin x you #genshin x gender neutral reader #genshin x gn reader #genshin x y/n #genshin freminet #freminet x reader #genshin lynette #lynette x reader #genshin lyney #lyney x reader

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grapejuicestyless · 7 months

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i’m rlly sad summers gone but like I have a winter request for conrad so we good !!

fem reader (conklinnn ofc) and conrad used to date but then had a messy breakup so now everyone is in college and yn doesn’t have anywhere to go because everyone is off doing something for winter break so she takes stevens car and drives down to the summer house and conrad shows up a day later and she’s freaking out. They both stay there the whole week and romantic feelings and nostalgia builds up again 🤌🏻

you can add some of your own stuff too because your soooo creative and your work is golden!! thank you:)

Peace.

Conrad Fisher x fem!reader

Angst to fluff!

Summery: After a hard loss, both in a relationship and with the severing of the ties of her past, Y/n must learn to let go in order to gain what she so desperate wants back.

Snowfall is always overlooked. People see it as more of an inconvenience than as a gift. Each little white flake falling from the sky seems like nothing more than a mushy ball of frozen water made to block the roads and keep kids out of school, but the closer you look the more complex they are.

What was once so horrible becomes something beautiful, something unique. There is no other thing like it, each flake is different even by one branch in the pattern. It’s sad how many people are so quick to dismiss it and pout out their windows. White was never their favorite color and the cold was never their favorite temperature.

At this time of year, I usually considered myself lucky. I had a family who cherished each snowfall and a mother who would have hot-coco ready on the table for when our red cheeks and icy hair would become too much and we would finally come back inside to melt and warm up again. Each winter break my younger siblings, Steven and Belly would be attached at my hip. Having an older sister who only grew more and more, our time together always felt limited. So we spent each day in the living room. Playing the Wii with Steven and Barbies with Belly. I would read with my mom and cook with my dad. It was all so perfect. My favorite time of the year.

I used to joke with Conrad that college didn’t hold the same amount of excitement around the season because people were just as bitter and cold all year round. I called him cold hearted too because he thought it was funny. He laughed and kissed me then. I wonder if he would laugh now. Even if we no longer shared a stocking and cozied up by the fireplace impossibly close declaring our quiet loves for each other. I wonder if he still thinks fondly of the winter like I do now that it’s tainted with old memories of us.

Usually, during the winter I would drive down to Boston. It took some convincing for Laurel to allow her daughter to drive so far in such intense weather, but she knew where my heart belonged. It was the holidays and she was just as jolly as the rest of us, so she would always agree. There, I would bring gifts for all the Fishers. I didn’t have enough money to afford gifts and college, so everything was homemade. Every year I would apologize, but Susannah and Conrad always claimed to love it. Jeremiah wouldn’t say anything, but the smile on his face was always genuinely happy, so I think he liked them just as much.

Conrad would take my mitten clad hands after. Even covered in thick wool he managed to clasp his hands fully around mine, eager to get me alone. We’d slip away into his room, my cheeks red and eyelashes covered in snowflakes and his eyes wide and smile full. Behind closed doors, we could be as affectionate as we wanted without gags of jealousy disguised as disgust from Jeremiah or swooning from Susannah over how cozy we looked.

I remember how I believed my hips were made with dips so his hands could fit perfectly in them. How his arm rested on my waist so tight, I didn’t need a blanket because he kept me warm. No fireplace or layers of coats could light the flames in my heart and keep me warm in the coldest winters like Conrad could.

He said summer was his favorite season when he met me, but now he favored winter because it reminded him of me. I asked what would happen if something were to happen to us, just to tease him then. He got serious, I still remember the look on his face when he told me I would always be his favorite thing. How winter would forever remind him of me and no matter what, nothing could change that fact.

It was our own little secret oasis. A utopia of our own confined within the four walls of his childhood bedroom. When it snowed, we’d play in the snow like children and when it stormed we’d make forts to watch our favorite winter movies. It was a dream I never wanted to end, I was foolish to think it wouldn’t.

By spring, it felt like he was tired of me, of who I was. No amount of effort could keep Conrad beside me. I became someone he wasted his time on rather than someone he begged to be around. My skin was like fire to his touch, his eyes avoidant. It all came to a head when I broke down in late May.

“Why, why am I not enough?” I begged him then, I wanted to know what my problem was. Why I couldn’t be more than what I was now. Why we couldn’t go back.

He shrugged his shoulders, looking past my left shoulder. He looked distant. He knew it just as well as I did, we were walking on eggshells.

“Because you’re just not.” His words were bitter, knives stabbing me through the heart and ripping out. There was no reason, he didn’t even try to make the gashes in my heart better.

“Bullshit. I do everything for you! I give you everything!” It came out more as a question than a statement. I wasn’t as sure about what I once believed so firmly now that Conrad was showing how he felt.

“I guess it wasn’t enough then.” His eyes were watering. We were already talking in the past tense, we were over. He didn’t have to say it, neither did I. It was as clear as the freckles on his face, there was no amount of mending that could pull us back together.

In my mind I could only remember those final words we spoke to each other. The first hour of our long argument was washed from my mind for my own sake. What should’ve been tattooed permanently in my brain was gone the second we were over. Maybe if I could remember it fully, each insult and every word he used to put me down and make me feel small, I would’ve been able to feel justified in my anger. I could talk shit with my friends, shit on him to my mother. But even in my heartache, I couldn’t find reasons to be mad at him.

Conrad always went through so much on his own. It would be selfish of me to believe that he was completely okay when things ended. It was messy and sudden the way it happened. He was the biggest dick to me, but I couldn’t blame him for what he did. Not then, not now. Part of me still loved him. Part of me would still die for him in secret. He was my first love, all I knew when it came to my feelings. I let him rule my heart, my decisions. I didn’t show up to Cousins that summer.

Now that it was over, no ties binding us together, no overbearing reason to drive down to Boston for the weeks leading up to the holidays where we’d all finally be together again, I have no where to go. Steven was old enough to be on his own now, a freshman at Princeton. One of his rich friends had dropped by within the first twenty four hours to drag him off to his families vacation home. I hadn’t even set up the Wii yet. Belly, my littlest sibling who I adored more than anyone else I knew was more distant than Steven. The stress of deciding between Finch and Jeremiah or some state school with the guarantee of being on volleyball was eating her alive. Back then, I would’ve told her not to lose sight of her dreams and life because of some boy, but here I was doing the same thing. I stayed quiet and let her decide what she wanted.

My mom was gone just like Steven. Away to talk about her book with other critically acclaimed writers and producers. My dad was out of the picture. He wouldn’t be back until Christmas morning. He was never really present after the divorce, but he’s a good man and he tries his best. He just works a lot. It hurts to not be able to enjoy the holidays like I used to, but I can respect why everyone’s away.

Somehow, I end up in Stevens drivers seat. I’ve never had a car of my own. While Steven spent weeks searching the internet for a cheep car, I spent my time studying for finals and applying to colleges. I never had the time. He gave me his keys before he left. He said I could take his car anywhere I wanted as long as I didn’t ruin it. Each dent in it, I would owe him ten bucks. It wasn’t much, but to a struggling college student, ten dollars in my bank account might as well have been him asking for hundreds.

“Belly, I’m heading out. Call me if you need me, okay? I might not be back for awhile.” The words I chose were ominous. I didn’t tell her where I was going, why I was going or how long I’d be exactly, but she didn’t care enough to ask. So I climbed into Stevens car and let my playlist shuffle. I imagine myself in the situations my favorite artists write about and sing along like I can relate to their upper class parties and juvenile activities. It keeps my mind off of where I’m going.

It’s not like I got in the car set on heading to the one place that once swore to never step foot near again, but when I recognize the signs on the highway pointing me in the same direction, I’m suddenly set on it.

The sting of the breakup lingered like a tattooed kiss, a reminder of something so special that was now gone. I wouldn’t let him ruin the place that was once so special to our families.

Pulling up to that driveway, I remember how the weeds would grow over the gravel by July and how Steven and Jeremiah would stay out for hours plucking at them to make Susannah happy. How the grass held the imprints of our small bodies rolling around the hills and daffodils. The sand was forever glued into the fabric of our favorite t-shirts and the salt air is what we smelled of until December washed it away.

We were always so close here. Despite the rifts and the problems that happened between us. Not blow out fight or silent treatment could ever separate the Conklin’s and the Fishers from each other for long.

I looked back on how I felt at home. How together was something that I never even questioned. Steven would be by the fireplace yelling at the television and Belly would be begging him to quiet down. Laurel would be curled up in the corner scribbling things into a notepad and dad would try to sneakily move the elf on the shelf.

We were older now. The wii wasn’t all that special and Belly longed for the chaos she once hated. Steven preferred his friends and mom and dad fell out of love so mom could learn to love her work more.

I pulled into the large house through the garage. I knew the code by heart, it was my phone passcode. I figured that if I wanted to stay attached to homeliness so badly I could be where I learned what love was the best.

In my head, even now I always believed that no matter how long it would go untouched, the summer home would always be bright and warm. Smelling of Susannah’s candles and Belly’s sticky iced teas.

Stepping through the front door, it was dark and cold. My breath was less visible than in the outside, but the light and heat didn’t bounce from wall to wall like it always did.

It took me a few minutes to find the correct switch to turn up the heat. I cranked it until my socks burned on my feet and a sweat covered the top of my forehead. It was comfortable, I could sink into my own chunky sweater.

It was my mothers, the blue and white striped sweater I wore. She was gifted it by Susannah in their late college years but it never quiet fit her because she was so short. It fit big, but it didn’t sag at my knees or gather at my wrists as much. It smelled like my mom and reminded me of Pennsylvania skies.

The warmth from the heat and the comfort from my clothes set me in a slump, my eyes drooped. I hadn’t even turned on any lights yet, hadn’t gone up to my room to make the bed. I was sat in place on the permanently indented couch. Though my body curled into the spot where I always laid during movie nights, my head fell where Conrad’s lap would’ve been. To imagine we were all just as happy, as close made me feel fuzzy. If I tried hard enough I could even hear his voice. Calling for me, like a dream.

The sun peaked through the windows and the dust that collected on the once neatly kept glass projected tiny shadows and spots across the hardwood floor. The couch was warm with my body heat and other than the faint whisper of the wind, it was peaceful.

A melodic whistle blowed through the open gap between the living room and the kitchen. It was smooth yet broke when the song grew too high for the deeper voice that carried the tune.

Rubbing at my eyes, my feet swung out from under my thighs, I wiped away any drool or signs of slumber. Still, clearing my complexion did not rid my body of the tired achey feeling and the small blurring of my vision. My brain was following behind my body, every caution sign to who was here at this time thrown to the wind.

Mugs clanked together clumsily, my nose burned with the strong scent of coffee beans. It was chillier in the morning here than how I had left it at night, I could feel the tip of my nose turning red and growing colder.

A taller boy stood hunched over the countertops, a spoon clinking around softly as he stirred around something in the mug. His shirt hung loose on his body but his pants fit just right.

His hair was wavy, but only just at the ends. Under the strong smells of early morning caffeine, I could faintly still pick up the scent of sea salt and a spice I couldn’t name. It was vanilla like but also had a lingering smell of oak and woods. It was my favorite smell.

“Conrad..?” It clicked in my brain that the handsome boy hanging around the summer home wasn’t some pick me up sent from heaven. The reason behind my instant admiration for such a simple, domestic task was because of how well I knew and once loved the boy. The name fell from my lips quietly, like I couldn’t believe it was true.

Spinning around, I met his blue eyes. I watched his lips twitch, fighting against some kind of emotion from spreading across his face and the light in his eyes falter. He looked blank, unaware of how his lack of enthusiasm of our reuniting was crushing me inside.

“Figured you’d want coffee.” He was right. He still knew me like the back of his own hand and that was the worst part. I hadn’t changed, I never would. He would always know me and it hurt to know I trusted him like that at one point just for him to leave. He even made it in my favorite mug.

A light blue ceramic mug that still had Belly and Conrad’s fingerprints in the clay and visible brush strokes across the top. They made it for me when we were still little. It was my favorite gift from her because they made it as an apology. For breaking my old vase I made for my mom in art class. They meant to harm and felt horrible, I cherished their kindness more than anything.

“No…no. I’m all set.” Crossing my arms and clearing my throat, I set my eyes on the ground and leaned against the doorframe on the wall. We didn’t speak after that, he didn’t move. Sucking in his lips, I heard him sigh almost disappointedly.

“So…” He tried to start, I was too scared to listen. Not of him, god I could never be scared of him. But of what he could want to say.

My eyes flicked over the dents in the floor, I discovered marks I hadn’t seen before. Just when I thought I had everything memorized. When I thought I knew everything, when I thought I knew him.

“You know, uhm…I think I’m going to settle in.” Nodding at him quickly, I all but ran to the stairs. My hands gripped at the banister so quickly, I felt skin pull skin. It tore just under my fingers beginning, the top of my palm. I swore I heard him call after me, but maybe it was the ringing in my ears.

I came here to get away. In search of some solace, I grasped at the tattered strands of my childhood to find that I had held on too long. In my own journey, by some sort of fate, I dragged along a deeper part of those memories with me.

I spent that morning stowed away in my bedroom. I left the door ajar. The air was chilly still, and the air dusty. The heat had rarely been used. Only on the rare occasions in which Susannah would find reason to escape down to the beautiful town of Cousins. Simply to watch the early snowfalls or sparkling lights decorating the center of the town. Usually when I would get settled into my own room in the summer home, each knickknack would be thrown carelessly over the bureau top and shoved in the forever empty bedside table drawers. I would procrastinate making my bed last. I hated the damned fitted sheets and the wrinkles I couldn’t flatten for days. I hated the way that the corners never stayed. My body stretched as far as it would go, yet I could never quiet hook the fabric far enough to keep it settled.

Today was no different. My blood boiled the same, but it mixed with an unfamiliar warmth. How endearing it was to be able to relive such a memorable moment of my summers again even after tragedy struck the once uniting household.

“Fuck.” The sheets flipped up. The full sized mattress was far too wide to allow my arms to stretch across the full width of its body and hook the corners over far enough to where they wouldn’t slip. Each move resulted in a different kind of release with the bedsheets. Each time I ended up wrapped up in the thin cotton sheets.

The clock ticking on my bedside table taunts me. Reminds me of how long I’ve been tangled around in my bed. If it weren’t so humiliating, I would’ve asked for help. But I created a mess. My feelings, one’s that Conrad had so clearly buried as he was able to be kind and cordial towards me while I panicked like a fish out of water. So I hop around from corner to corner desperate to finish my task.

“Y/n?” The name burns the way it rolls off of his tongue. Like even with me gone, he had practiced pronouncing it in the mirror, whispered it to himself each night. It was like we’d seen each other the day before, the way it came out. Breathless and light.

The moon hung over the house, illuminating thin strips of shine through the windows that led from the floor to the very bed I was sprawled across.

Sighing heavily, I threw my head back. Hair fell in front of my face, tickling the bridge of my nose. I saw Conrad hesitate. His hand flinched out from where it was tucked behind the doorframe. He set it on the white wood frame.

“Can I help?” It was innocent enough. Maybe he was sick of the sound of my knees rubbing against the mattress. Or the way I grunted every few minutes. I stumbled around my room all day fixing it up, I almost forgot how loud it could’ve been.

It felt sour to accept it. Even if it were as innocent and kind as it seemed. Conrad had a glimmer of hope in his eye and his lips upturned. He looked so handsome still, nose pinker from the slight chill and eyes still just as deep blue.

“No thank you.” I huffed. I tried to sound annoyed, something that was hard to do when you weren’t really all that annoyed at all. Resistant was the only similar thing I could place a name to. I saw the wag Conrad’s smile faltered, his eyes looming with a dark shadow, masking the vibrant sparkle.

“Come on, don’t be so stubborn, please? You’ve been at it for hours, just let me help.” Stubborn. Just like my mother and his. Each of us were always set to do things on our own. But this was far more than just genetics at this point. This was my own grudge I was holding. This was my pride and my responsibility over my emotions acting. No matter how nice the gesture, I still refused, gnashing my teeth.

“Oh, so suddenly you care?” It was a lot more mean than I meant it. I know how much Conrad cares. How much he always has. He doesn’t have the best way to show for it, but in the end you always know it. It was a mistake, an instant regret. I watched how his face contorted. He wasn’t just disappointed now, but genuinely hurt by my own dig at his insecurities.

His whole life, Conrad always feared he wasn’t enough. He couldn’t give enough, couldn’t be enough. He always talked himself down, creating a false standard in which everyone else was above him, out of his league. He was insecure. He didn’t need reassurance, he knew what kind of love was real and what was fake, but the fact that maybe I had thought the same crushed him. I could tell.

His silence hung over us so heavy, a knife could slice it. His jaw stuttered and his eyes blinked slow. A loss for words. I wish he could just yell at me. Fuel my fire, make me feel less bad about what I said. Less guilty about the fact I couldn’t get over us when he could. Conrad didn’t deserve my emotional daggers directed at his heart simply because we split. I know Conrad, I always have. His method of leaving was cruel, but the boys heart was in the right place always.

“Fuck!” The sheet snapped back. I had enough. In all seriousness, I should’ve stopped to talk to the boy who was so clearly hurt by the door. A girl, a guest in a house that once felt just as much as hers as his was there in a now occupied room throwing insults unprovoked when he was trying to be nice.

Standing, I stumbled past him clumsily again, taking a spare blanket that hung off the end of the bed with me. I couldn’t take it. His stares, the silence, the sheet, my own guilt, my thoughts. I needed to be out of that sickened room.

“Y/n…” Again, the call was faint. A whisper in my head whose only goal was to make me stop. I didn’t turn. It was unfair, the whole thing. To me, to Conrad. I decided to sleep on the couch.

My back ached. The plush cushioning under my back too soft, too worn in. A good remedy, a great place for a quick nap. But it hurt after more than a few hours. The fabric rubbed harshly, the pillows sunk in. My hips popped when I stood.

The sun was shining through the windows, air crisp. Heat finally reached all corners of the large house and the cob webs were finally swept away. The magic of summer wasn’t there, but it felt homely. A good alternative to the sad loneliness of my own bedroom at home.

The house was still, the kitchen untouched and an empty mug in the sink. It was stained in a ring from where the old drink had been and had little brown streaks from where the coffee dripped off of the sides. The counter tops were cold, despite the heat inside. The floor was quiet, there was no shuffling. It led me to believe that the only other occupant was still asleep.

Heading up the stairs, I picked at my old clothes. The discomfort came from multiple things. The way my clothes stuck to my body, my teeth didn’t feel right in my mouth. My hair was knotted. I looked fine, but nothing felt right. The only way to describe it was that when waking up after a rough couple of nights, it felt like my skin didn’t fit right over my bones.

My door was wide open. The hinges bent all the way back, the light bled through the curtains. My already slow steps came to a halt when the threshold fell behind my legs. My bed was decorated with the same blue floral design it always had during the summers.

The pillows were placed where I always had them, and my blankets were hung so neat on the bottom of my bed. My fingers ran over the soft fabric like it wasn’t really mine. Like I was admiring a sample from a store, wishing it were mine. It was always so pretty.

My thumb hooked over the folded edge very carefully. I didn’t want to mess with the perfectly made bed. More importantly, I didn’t want to crease the remaining hand prints that laid in the center of the bed.

The plushy duvet left residue from bigger hands. Spread along the bends, from the center down. Proof that someone had truly tried their best to perfect it.

Looking under the top, not only had each layer been placed, but the fitted sheet. I could see it now with all its layers peeled back. The thought that even after my initial attempts to push away, to be mean, to hurt him, that Conrad had still wanted to help me made me feel warm. I wasn’t sure why my heart was fluttering for a boy I swore I hated. But my cheeks were red and my knees felt weak. I always did love his acts of service.

I didn’t plan on showering, but my skin was sticky with sleep and my heart was pounding too fast. I hated the fact that Conrad was too good for everyone in his own special ways. I hated the way he still cared and the way he remained so observant even in our absence. Most of all, I hate the way I reach for his shampoo in the shower. Longing for the scent of him to linger on me for just a little longer. How funny it is that we’ve changed so quickly and yet not at all. We used to share our hair products. He kept a hair tie for me in his bedside table. I had a drawer of clothes in his room, he had some in my closet. He went from my everything to just something in my life. Yet, with all this change I still reach for the familiarities of what we once had. My hand still searches the shower for his conditioner. My feet still take me to his door to find a shirt I like. What we had is gone, crushed under the weight of our separation, but my muscle memory pulls me back. The heart is a muscle, one that forever beats for Conrad Fisher.

I sit in the corner for longer than I lather the soap across my skin. My body is curled up against the cold tiles. I feel pathetic doing so. How small I’ve made myself. Not only mentally, but physically. I feel weak at how little self control I have. I think back on the past year of my life and I regret each decision I’ve made leading me here suddenly.

Was I not enough for Conrad? I know it’s not his reasoning behind his leaving, but I feel like the theory becomes more and more plausible the longer I think back on how lonely I’ve been. So stuck on my own problems, I forget how little I see my family. How Belly has grown without me. Her friends, her lovers. She is independent, she knows her path. Steven has matured. He understands feelings, he’s valedictorian. His brains lead him through life, he no longer comes to me at midnight to ask for help with math. I no longer review his essays or read his made up stories in the living room. We are two different siblings who once spent every moment together. My mother is nose deep in her own promotion with her books. She is succeeding while my father is going on dates and moving on. I am stuck in the same spot, forever thinking of the past, I can not move on.

I am scared by the knowledge that my family is no longer dependent on me. A scab is forming over the wound of the fact that Conrad has left, I am not needed. I hope the warm water fading into a cooler drizzle will hide the way my eyes are puffy and red. The streaks of water on cheeks will become streams of the shower. I am strong and resistant like my parents, but I am scared to admit that I have real fears. Ones that control my life. I will never tell them how I breakdown, how my heart is breaking and I am falling off the pedestal.

It’s more lively now then it was just an hour ago. The birds are gone, on vacation away in the warmer weather while the cold covers New England in a chilling blanket. I hear the mugs clattering from the hallways and the soft humming passing through his pink lips. He hears me before he sees me.

“Coffee?” He motioned to the brown liquid, steaming while it poured into the glass pitcher. Rubbing beneath my eyes, I could feel the weight of my eye bags heavy on my skin. My throat was coarse, hands aching from how hard I had grasped onto the shower walls. I hid behind the island counter on the stool. My body curled up into the baggy clothes covering my body, my knees hugging into my chest as close as possible.

“Yes, please.” I mumbled softly, trying not to show any weaknesses. Conrad knew me better than that. The way my lip twitched into a fake smile, how my eyes were more avoidant that usual. Even in my heavy feelings, my eyes were always drawn to him. I was closing myself off.

A beat passed. Conrad’s attempt at conversation had fallen short, right by my feet.

“How’d you sleep?” He turned to me, freshly brewed coffee sloshing around in the same mug as yesterday. He placed it in front of me, but he turned away again to pour his own cup. It wasn’t to further distance himself, creating a divide all while I was shutting down, but to give me room to breathe in a space I was so clearly suffocating in.

“It was okay.” I sighed, hand holding my head, my eyes closed. I imagined myself laid with my back pressed against plush pillows and my childhood bedroom fairy lights hanging over my head. It was still winter, but the atmosphere in my daydream felt of summer.

“I’m glad, then. That it wasn’t so bad, I mean.” He corrected himself, afraid of a wrath inside of me that didn’t exist to him anymore. It never really had, my emotions had only been misplaced yesterday.

Often I’ve been told that my words shoot to kill when I’m mad. I insult and belittle myself more than others, but my mother has no problem with bringing up the few times I targeted my feelings at Steven or Belly. How little I made them feel, how guilty I felt. I threw up once, after yelling at Steven. He hadn’t cared for it, fighting was what siblings did. But remembering how I tried to hurt him made me sick. I felt the same after insulting Conrad.

Nodding my head, I pursed my lips into a thin line. My eyes blinked away any dryness, I inhaled a deep breath.

“Hey, uhm…thank you, by the way.” I pulled the sleeves of my sweater over my hands, hovering over the cup of coffee to revel in the hot steam hitting my face.

Conrad turned around, leaning against the counter. His hands pressed up behind him, firm but his face was soft, glad.

“I shouldn’t have…you didn’t deserve that.” My eyes flickered between the floor and the folding of my sleeves over my thumbs. My skin was cold, my hair wet on the back of my neck. I had a lump in my throat.

“Y/n?” His voice was gentle, closer than before. I saw his elbows press against the counter top, just mere inches away. I felt even more awkward, littler than before somehow.

I hummed. But the coarseness in my throat made it come out as more of a rumble. I choked on the growing lump, my nose burned.

“We don’t have to avoid each other.” He said it like that was so easy. Like everything was resolved by him simply stating that he didn’t want to face the consequences of our actions.

“I know.” I brought the edge of the mug to my lips and blew. Steam clouded my vision, the wet heat felt nice on my cheeks.

“Y/n.” He said more firmly.

He wasn’t angry, but he wanted my attention. My eyes flickered up to his. They were darker now. Swarmed with so many emotions, it was hard to grasp onto what he was feeling. I set the mug down.

“Please don’t avoid me.” He begged more softly, his hand hesitated to reach out to me. Once they clasped around mine, it was almost relieving. Having something familiar to ground me while I was only working myself up. “I miss you, I miss us. We were best friends and we haven’t even spoken in…I don’t even know how long. This, this is stupid. To be running in circles like this?”

“That’s easy for you to say.” This time, my words weren’t angry. They broke apart when I spoke. The sentence was raw, the lump in my throat broke through my clenched teeth and my nose heated up in an intense burn. My eyes were heavy, working hard to keep any tears at bay. Again, here I find myself in a different spot, practicing the same habits. I stand in front of Conrad angry, ready to hurt his ego and pierce a hole through his heart just to ease my own mind.

I wanted exactly what he did, to be as close. I missed him more than anything in my life ever, but it wasn’t so simple. He pleaded my name again, I pulled my hands out of his. His fingers were like a barbed wire. It suddenly stung to have him touching me.

“I just wish you would’ve acknowledged it, you know? I mean look at me, look at us. You’re fine, you’re happy. I can’t even look at you without wanting to cry.” When our hearts broke, they broke uneven. Conrad was left with a bruise why I was facing the pain of a bleeding scar across my own. He had been the one to cause the rift, he had been the one to bring up everyone’s insecurities, use them against our relationship.

“Y/n.” He whispered, reaching out to me again. I stood from the stool, keeping my distance. My tears were hot, they burned into my skin.

“You couldn’t even stand me, Conrad! And I couldn’t see it before, but I can now. You couldn’t even text me, no. No, but that’s not the worst part. Maybe it’s the fact that you couldn’t even show up to Stevens graduation because I was there.” He sighed, ready to defend himself. I look back on all the disappointed faces, I remember the way Steven frowned at that empty seat beside me and I feel angry.

“Do you know how hard it is to tell your baby brother that his hero couldn’t make it to his graduation because he can’t even stand to be around me? Do you know how sad he was when he started to walk up to the podium and saw your seat was empty? I recorded it and sent it to you, did you know that? I wasn’t going to, I didn’t think you deserved to have a part in one of the most important parts in Stevens life, but he begged me to. Tried to make me send it twice so you’d get it.” I took a deep breath, wiping away the tears by my eyes, more spilled. My face was wet with salt water and red with anger.

“So why don’t we go back to how things were before after you’ve fucked it all up!”

“It’s really fucking unfair of you to act like this hasn’t affected me at all either!” He finally shot back. He was never one to yell. Conrad always had some sort of control over his composure. He never yelled, he hated yelling.

“How, how can you say that after you’ve done nothing to fix anything!” Walking closer to him, I saw how he turned away to grip the counter between his fingers.

“People deal with shit differently, Y/n. Grow up!” He yelled. His eyes were wild, it should’ve scared me. But god, him telling me to grow up after all he put me through only made me angrier. I was fragile already. But not as a flower, but a bomb.

“Fuck you, Conrad.” My voice was shaky, but firm. I didn’t yell, my lack of volume was almost scarier than my inevitable rage. He looked up at me, it was like watching him realize how his words had betrayed him. He hadn’t meant for us to fight, to talk like this. He wanted to fix things. He wanted me back.

“Y/n.” He shook his head, walking closer to me, he bent away from the edges of the island to reach me quicker. His voice was laced with pity

“Stop saying my name!” I backed away, feet catching on the threshold, I slowed myself down. Each time he said it, it pulled on my heartstrings. How could he be so selfish to not even be able to see all the pain I’ve been put through!

“I’ve missed you ever since I left you! You think I don’t regret the way I treated you? I’m not naïve to my own stupidity, I know my mistakes, I’ve owned them. You were my everything, god you might as well have hung the stars!” He waved his hands around to animate what he was saying. It only stresses me out more.

“Then why? Why did you throw it all away!” My body began to crumble beneath me, my knees wobbled.

“Because I was scared! I was scared of losing you. I thought if I let myself become too obsessed, that if you decided to leave me I would never be able to get back up. I had to do it!” He confessed. It all made sense then. All my unanswered questions, all my insecurities of not being enough. Conrad hadn’t left because I couldn’t give him what he wanted. He left because he was scared of what would happen when I was gone. That he wasn’t enough.

“I wouldn’t have left you, Conrad. I wouldn’t have.” My palms hit my eyes, my knees started to give. A sob ripped through my throat. It hurt to breathe.

His arms were like a blanket. His hands still fit perfectly around my back. When he held me, it was tight. I knew it then that he wouldn’t be letting me go, not now. His shirt was wet with my tears, mine was wet with my hair. I felt stupid, naïve to think of Conrad in such bad ways when he had only been doing what he thought was best to protect his heart after loss after loss.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” I repeated it like a prayer, I didn’t mean to be so mean. I didn’t want to be rude to him, I wanted him to be close to me always. His heart was beating out of his chest when he nodded. He knew I never meant to fight him. We were both entitled to our feelings, there was no reason in trying to apologize for how we reacted.

His hand lifted to my head, brushing through my hair. He gathered a chunk in his palm, his knuckles gripping at it. It didn’t hurt, he didn’t intend for it to. He was breathing me in, holding onto me in every which way possible.

“It’s going to be okay, we’re going to be okay.” My sobs were muffling themselves, quieting down into soft whimpers. It took a lot to even nod my head against his shirt. It smelled like him, and it was homely. I felt safer now than in our argument. Our words held no value anymore, I just hoped that what he said was true.

Holding her like that almost made things feel normal again. Having her hair in between my fingers and her waist pressed against mine. I wanted to revel in it, selfishly. But her sniffles and uneven breath only made me remember why I even got the privilege to hold her again.

Again and again, I watched her breakdown over a mistake I made. To protect myself. I swore it to her last winter, promised her that it would always be my favorite season because she was my favorite thing. I built up this trust and a love between us. It was when she left that I freaked out over what my mom said.

“I’ve never seen you so happy.” She had said, poncho bc my cheek between her fingers. Playfully, I pulled my face away.

“Yea?” I mused, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and watched the steady snowfall on the final night of winter through the window.

“The love bug’s got you.” She was right. I was so undeniably in love with Y/n. I would change everything in my life just to be with her always.

“What?” My eyes squinted from the way my eyebrows furrowed. She was still looking out into the snow.

“It’s okay to be in love, Connie.” She quickly turned to me and smoothed out my shirt. She sensed my confusion and stress. I knew I was in love with her, but the fact that it was that obvious, that clear made me worry.

“Everyone has their first love at some point.” With that she left. At some point. The words rung through my head. I knew that the first love was always the strongest, but this was not my first love. I had fallen for an ex-girlfriend in freshman year. She broke my heart. Why was the thought of Y/n leaving shattering mine completely?

The more I thought of us together then, the more I worried about her leaving. She was perfect for me, maybe. But could I even measure up to her perfection? Could I give her everything?

I was able to push that feeling away for a few weeks. But as winter turned to spring and the leave began to regrow, I couldn’t shake it. Distance was a thing I was only growing between us. Space, something I created so there was no way we could get hurt. I thought it was the right thing, then. I thought it was the right move for me to let her leave so easily. To watch her fight for me one last time and not react. I was giving her the chance for someone more, someone better. I didn’t know I was only breaking her heart in ways I worried I would break my own.

It was a guilt I lived with all these months. When she didn’t come up to cousins because she wasn’t feeling good, I knew why. I had avoided her like the plague after our last conversation, our first real fight. I couldn’t even show up for her family in one of their most important milestones. Now it seemed like we only fight now, or at least in these past couple hours.

My neck was stiff from how it leaned against the back of the couch. I hadn’t watched past the hour mark of the black and white movie Conrad had put on. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I no longer liked it.

The movie was all I watched when I was at my absolute worst. Not to say I wasn’t still there, I felt rock bottom beneath my feet, but I felt myself getting better slowly. I no longer spent each day rewatching the same film over and over to ease the pain and remind myself of a happier time. I hated the way they talked. I once found it romantic, but the old cracking in the sound and the fancy accents made me angry. None of it was real.

To Conrad, he only did what he thought I would like. He had no way of knowing of my new distaste to the movie. One I used to rave about for hours. Then again, he never asked.

Yawning, I felt a set of eyes on mine.

“Tired?” He asked, a small smile on his face. I waved him off.

“Nope.” I popped the ‘p.’ It was an easy lie, my dark circles and slouchy posture gave it away. There was no way to sell it. I was surprised when he didn’t push me on it. My eyes drooped, my cheek pressed to my lonely shoulder. I had no one to lean on. I curled into myself a little, all while silently telling myself I was awake.

A pillow hit my lip, I bit down a little but it didn’t hurt me. My eyes were wide open now, hair messed up around the top. My fly aways were all over the place, my eyes squinting.

“Hey!” Grabbing the corners of the pillow, I swung as hard as I could towards Conrad, the culprit. It his his chest, he groaned out in a heavy breath. The pillow was soft, I was sure it didn’t hurt. But he entertained the idea that it did by rubbing circles in his chest, wincing and hissing through his teeth. I rolled my eyes.

“Seriously?” I leaned back against the cushions again, placing the pillow comfortably over my lap. I heard him laugh. A real, genuine laugh. It felt like weight was lifted off of my back.

“What! That was one of my best performances.” He punched my shoulder. I shot him playful glares. He pushed at me again, begging for a reaction. I folded already, giving into his games and retaliating against his childish attacks. But I would not crumble so easily. I would not let him tease me and play me until I opened up again just hours after yet another fight. I worried that another would ensue.

Sitting up, I tossed the pillow back at him. The sound he made confirmed it had hit him in the face.

“Come on, where are you going?” I could hear the smile in his voice. It made me smile too, knowing he was happy.

“To bed, I am tired.” I didn’t look back, but I felt him watching.

I swore I heard words die on his tongue. A soft stutter to a dead silence. Like he wanted to protest but stopped himself somehow. He never saw me look back, but when I was turning to the stairs, I allowed myself a glimpse.

His eyes were spacey, lip pulled between his front teeth. His eyebrows furrowed. He was deep in thought, but I could see the disappointment in his face. He didn’t seem as full of life, as cheerful. We were rebuilding a childhood, best friend bond that was lost with in cracking of our foundations in the spring.

“Goodnight, Conrad.” I still hadn’t had the ability to carry a joke with him. To keep a conversation flowing without my emotions dying inside of me before I could get them out. I whispered my goodnight. I wanted him to know I still held a place in my heart for him, but part of me wanted to reserve that knowledge to only myself.

I was scared to be more than what was being proposed. The door was open, we were almost friends. It was an odd spot. We’d act like friends, joke like them, but we both knew what we had done, what had just happened. I would walk through the entrance if Conrad would allow it. If we could at least be close, even if his lips weren’t mine, even if his body wasn’t there for me to lean on anymore. I would live happily, I’d be able to put on a brave face and call myself his friend. I would stand by the alter, watching him find another love, burying the hatchet of our love for good and I would be okay, I decided. As long as I still had him. As long as I never had to feel as alone as I did this morning.

“They’re saying borderline blizzard conditions, Con. You don’t think we’ll need to go on a supply run, do you?” His back was turned to me, hands working over the pot of coffee skillfully. His thumb brushed against the glass, he hissed quietly and shook his hand off.

“I think you’re just overthinking it.” He payed my worry not attention. He knew this house better than I did. It would hold, that wasn’t the worry. We had no shovels, nothing to dig us out of snow were to block us in. I scoffed and rolled my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest. I made my way around the island, pushing myself off of the counter and into one of the stools perched under it.

“Coffee?” Conrad asked, ignoring my questions again. I gave into him, playing his game and being stubborn.

“What kind?” My fingers drew circles on the cold marble.

“Black.” He set the cup down in front of me, letting it come to a halt right in front of me. My eyes flickered to the coffee, a smirk fighting it’s way onto my cheeks.

“Like your soul?” Like your heart, is what I wanted to say. Something that used to come so easy, meaningless insults directed at him not to make him sad, but to make him smile. I still hadn’t answered by question, though. If I were to direct a remark at his heart, would it weigh too much under the cracking foundation of our recovering friendship? I still wondered if he would laugh at that and go along with it.

Conrad laughed, looking out the window and admiring the sky. He didn’t respond, but he never really had when I’d make those jokes. Usually he would laugh or tell me it was a good one. He sighed lightly.

“I walked right into that one.” He smiled down at his coffee now, holding the mug loose with the handle dangling between his fingers.

When silence took over the room, it wasn’t uncomfortable. We welcomed it. We were alone with our thoughts and for once, they weren’t twisted and heavy. Only happy memories and thoughts of old habits.

In my mind, I dreamed of times where I knew what to say after making a joke. What I could do to counter a snarky remark and his laughter. I always knew what to say to him, when and why. I knew what made him tick. I still knew how to set him off, I believe that once you have the ability to get under someone’s skin, you never truly lose it. Either you continue to poke at the wounds that hurt them so, or your presence is able to remind them of it. Yet, with all the loss in my every heartbeat, somewhere along the way I forgot how to keep him happy.

Conrad’s footsteps snapped me out of my clouded haze. My eyes snapped up from the counter to his face. He didn’t look at me, but stayed focused on his coffee.

“Glad to know you still got it.” His eyes flicked to me, I swear I saw him wink. It was so quick, my words died in a pathetic stutter. I smiled stupidly at him, I couldn’t even pretend to be snarky. It caught me off guard, somehow. My walls were torn down now, the barrier of anger and sadness I kept up around him to keep us apart gone with our last fight and heart to hearts. The devils in the details, but somehow it didn’t feel as deep, as life changing anymore.

It was like he knew I couldn’t think of something to promise to him. To keep us going. He surely hadn’t lost it.

I tried to rationalize everything recently. But it felt like it took over my life. I’d almost forgotten about Belly and Steven. How they’d been so quick to shut me out simply because someone had offered me a place to be wanted for a moment. Conrad always knew when to swoop in to save me. I could help but talk myself down every so often and convince myself that Conrad is not made of Angel dust. He simply is a man, and a smart one at that. All of this could be just to butter me up, I know it’s always an outcome. A way to win me back, but never want me the same. It poisons me to think about him that way, I know him. He would never play me to become the good guy.

My mind has no middle line. Constantly wavering between my lover, the man I see as the sky and the seas. I see him as a perfect lipstick stain to a white collar, uggs in the fall, hot chocolate in the winter. He is all things I love and yet I still fight. The other part of me fights my heart to keep my distance. How just hours ago I told myself the hate I had for Conrad was always going to be just that, irreversible hurt that he caused. It’s the sweetest torture I could bare in the fact that really, by the end of it my mind is set on just getting to be with him again. No matter what his games are.

It’s pathetic, but my heart strings pull a little whenever I hear his footsteps upstairs. When I can tell if he’s coming to see me or not. I like knowing he likes to be around me once more. It almost covers up the fact that he hurt me so bad. I’m not idiot, however. I wish I were in some cases, but I’m not blinded completely by my love. With every advance, I find a way to make it platonic. He’s my friend.

He said he missed me, our friendship bond. I know that he is a man of his word. I should not work myself up, I shouldn’t expect so much. I shouldn’t jump into his arms because he says go. I think rationally, I use my head. I let my heart race and my cheeks flush but ultimately my brain will stop me from messing about again. So part of me finds it sad when the power goes out later that day. For both the house and myself. It’s childish how quickly I jump in search of Conrad. I have to remind myself not to hold onto him, not to yell I told you so.

I call for his name quietly through the halls, feeling the chipping paint under my finger tips. It’s still fresh, but bumpy. A previous project of Susannah’s from when her paint brushes never seemed to dry out. It’s hard to tell if she never finished her projects that summer. Or even if she never finished any.

In the dark, it’s almost more clear to see where her brush strokes end. Where the moonlight illuminates the white and blues, you can see the divides between old and new. God, if she were any less attentive it would surely be the end of this house. It was in great condition, but some things were out of place, uncared for simply because Susannah’s mind went a mile a minute.

Smiling, I let my hands run over the wall, feet planting on the cold wood. I could feel it through my socks, with the lights out and the heat stuttering to a halt.

“Y/n/n, hey.” He sounded breathless, coming up from behind me. I hadn’t even noticed the stomping of his feet up the staircase as my fingers danced along the wall. So caught up in the past I find it that sometimes I forget that I’m living in my present. Looking around my metaphorical room in my mind, I see my chosen family. I see his brother as mine, his mother as mine. I see myself as a child again running through the sand and tracking mud through the dining room.

I know deep down I can not keep holding on, keep on keeping myself back. I can never give Conrad peace, but I can give him my sunshine, my best. He would always have a friend in me. I set my heart free then, fingers stuck to the wall, eyes flickering to my feet. I let go of my heart break and my solemn silences I throw at my loved ones for guilt. I let my walls down, I take Conrad’s hand, and I shake my head. His smile is warm, his eyes loving. He still needs me, he always has. He still loves me and my heart is racing. I finally feel like I have him back.

“You okay?” Back in reality, I’m aware that I’m not actually holding onto his hand, and Conrad isn’t really smiling at me. My heart is still in its cage and I have fallen victim to my own mind again. Conrad is not mine.

Clearing my throat, I lick at the corners of my lips. When I shake my head this time, I know it’s real because Conrad is looking at me questioningly. He is not in love with me, he is not drooling over me. The power is still out and our muddy footprints mean nothing to him anymore.

“We blew a fuse, but the generators dead. We’re just going to have to stick it out.” I nodded again, looking up at him with doe eyes. My lips were glossy with a sheen coat of spit from how much I licked them, but at them nervously. Yet, he didn’t even spare me a glance. It was almost like he was waiting on something.

“You can say it.” He finally sighed.

“Say what?” His eyes caught mine, seeing just how intently my eyes focused on his dimples and the bridge of his nose decorated with delicate freckles. I cleared my throat.

“You told me so.” He smiled, punching my shoulder playfully. He could tell my mind was drifting, he could see it, I saw the way his eyes softened. My gentle smile turned into a shit-eating grin.

A beat passed, he continued waiting on me in the dark room. I liked it in some odd ways. Enjoyed having him waiting on me for once. It wasn’t the same. How my heart waited for his apologies for so long, how I expected it because I knew one day he would come back to me to make things right in his own way. But somehow, his desire for my once overlooked jokes and brushed off comments made my cheeks warm. Like more than me in this moment, he wanted the normal us back.

“Are you going to…” He voice trailed off, my feet picked up against the cold wood floor.

“Why don’t you start the fire? I’m going to get some blankets.” I tucked the hair behind my ear, practically running to the staircase. He nodded, not that I could see it, but the silence confirmed that he had forgotten that I couldn’t truly see his nod. That along with a soft hum of approval from him.

“Oh, and Conrad.” He hummed again. His eyes glistened in the moonlight, shining brighter than any other object standing in the hallway. He waited on me patiently, slowly inching closer.

“I told you so.”

The best of blankets and pillows sprawled put along the living room floor helped to further nestle us against the foot of our white couch. The snowfall and the storm felt less like an inconvenience but a gift.

I was reminded of my childhood. Of first snowfalls and broken ice skates. Red noses and icy hair. I remember how even after the facade of perfect holidays and new years kisses faded into nothing more than a dream, how my heart still soared with excitement each coming fall. How I couldn’t wait to see the snowy powder decorating my front lawn. I get reminded of why I drove so long to see Conrad. Of his warm hugs and his soft mittens. Wearing his hats and stumbling around in the backyard. I feel less hurt by the company than I once did a few days ago. I feel blessed that by some miracle, fate had string Conrad and I back together. That his hands would forever paint my hands in a gentle love we only held, and his whispers of senseless jokes he mumbled tiredly were only mine to laugh at.

The fire crackled, roaring feverishly through the night. The snow and wind pounded against the sides of the house, and despite the chills running through my toes and my fingers, I felt warmer inside than before, rekindling our inside jokes and fueling ourselves for even more.

Soon, our soft laughter and ongoing conversations died out. Our eyes glued to the flames, I tried to catch a glimpse into Conrad’s eyes. I wanted to know what the fire would look like reflected into his blue eyes. Instead, I caught his gaze locked onto my face.

I felt embarrassed, in a way. Vulnerable under his gaze. I felt my cheeks heat up and my body tingle. I felt like a school girl again.

“Y/n/n.” He called for me softly. The only way I was sure that he’d even said it was the fact that my eyes were so trained in his pink lips. I nodded slowly.

“Why did you come down here? Why now?” Even though the question was serious, I couldn’t help but to smile at his curiosity in my life.

Taking a deep breath, I watched his flat face turn into a welcoming grin.

“Lately, I’ve just been caught up in the past, I guess. I’m just so used to coming home every winter to Steven and Belly in the living room already fighting. And my dad and mom arguing about what decorations playfully.” Conrad laughed like he could picture it. He’d never really been in my house during the holidays. Sure, the Fisher family would stop by every few months when the distance became too much, but holiday’s were usually spent apart.

“I guess when I came home this year and that wasn’t there, I kind of freaked a little. I mean, Steven just left, Belly was too caught up in her own life to care about what I wanted to do, how much time we had left. My dad was too busy to stop by and…” I couldn’t bring myself to say it. I almost allowed the words to slip, how the final straw was that even with the mess of my family, at least at one point I had Conrad. I had his gentle hands and his quiet promises to hold onto. When everything went to hell, it was like losing the last bit of peace. “I wanted to be somewhere I wouldn’t feel alone, I guess.” I replaced my words with this. Hoping he’d understand how much he meant to me, how much all of it meant to me.

The single puff of air coming harshly through his mouth in a sigh reminded me just how close we were. How I could feel each word falling from his lips fanning over my shoulder. We were sharing a blanket, so close yet our bodies so far.

“Y/n.” He sounded more serious. During my confession, I found a home in the floorboards. Feeling safer confessing to the air than to a man who destroyed me not so long ago. My eyes hesitated to meet his, but I could see just how serious he was.

“I regret what happened between us more than anything I’ve ever done in my life. I know I can’t reverse that, but please never say you are alone. I swear to you, no matter what, I’m there.” It was rare to hear such thing from Conrad. Maybe a grunt of a hug to assure my feelings were always appreciated. But I could see the sincerity in his face, his voice was dripping with guilt. He meant it, every word.

Nodding my head, I silently thanked him. I watched his eyes search my face. How his lips parted but shut quickly. He decided against continuing, but it was like an unspoken apology was being said between us in that moment.

With gravity pulling us together, it was only in my nature to protect my heart. I had to rip us apart before I gave in without knowing if we’d ever be the same. If I kissed him and it was just a winter fling, I couldn’t take another heartbreak.

So, in our silence, I moved my hand between us. The pad of my thumb brushing away the charcoal from the fire dusting just under his cheek. I watched how he shivered and backed away, eyes fluttering shut. All while I bit at my lip, delicate in the way I rubbed away the dust.

“Are my hands cold?” I remained focused in on him, my lips curled into a smile seeing his reaction to my touch, how he shivered but didn’t complain. He nodded his head slowly, but his eyes were still closed.

I saw how his eyebrows furrowed, it wasn’t from discomfort, but in the low light it was hard to tell. My hand curled away, ready to ease the coldness off of his skin. I didn’t expect his own hand to cover mine, holding it against his now rosy cheeks.

“Feels nice.” He mumbled almost drowsily. His eyes still hidden behind his eyelids, his other hand found mine aimlessly, gently pressing it to his other cheek. I felt his weight sink into my palms, reveling in my touch.

The band suddenly snapped. All the tension, all the build up. He was right there, so eager, so gentle. I had to know if he was still the same boy I loved not too long ago. He had set me up for an old joke.I always wondered if I could still joke with him like this. It still gnawed at me some nights.

“It’s because you’re cold hearted.” I expected him to laugh, I hoped he would. But instead, he smiled just as genuine as his old laughter, melting into my touch more than I thought he could ever. I hadn’t been able to predict what he would tell me. Couldn’t have read his lips even if I could see into the future.

“For everyone else, maybe. But not for you.” He was as honest as a man could be. With his eyelashes fluttering open, I could see it in his eyes now. How they looked back at me wide and awake. I felt my stomach flip. There was something there I had previously missed. Dancing along with the glowing of the fire in his irises, was the same spark he once carried when I was his and he was mine.

I didn’t even get to challenge it, teasing him and making him repeat his confessions. My lips stuttered on the first syllable, just before his hands smushed my cheeks with the force of how he grabbed me. He was firm, but not aggressive. He could never hurt me.

His lips molded against mine perfectly in my mind. He tasted like mint and hot chocolate. My hands tangled in his hair, his palms flat against my waist. With so little space between us, so much fever and pent up frustration, air became harder and harder to get. With each touch of his fingers, it was like tiny fires being sparked across my body.

He hadn’t even had to tell me what he felt then. Neither did I. In that moment my walls crumbled beneath my feet. All resistance was gone. In Conrad’s grasp, I felt less alone.

I knew it then. To Conrad, my mind games I played on myself, my temper and the storms that would inevitably cloud up my sunniest days, the fact that I could never give him peace did not matter. We would always be enough.

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