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maeglinthebold · 3 years

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Roswell, New Mexico D&D (5e) Character Sheets

Liz Ortecho, Human Wizard (Sage: Researcher)

Max Evans, High Elf Paladin (Soldier: Officer)

Maria DeLuca, Half-Elf Druid (Folk Hero)

Michael Guerin, High Elf Artificer (Criminal: Fence)

Alex Manes, Human Fighter (Soldier: Scout)

Rosa Ortecho, Human Barbarian (Criminal: Pickpocket)

Isobel Evans, High Elf Warlock (Noble)

Kyle Valenti, Human Cleric (Acolyte)

Day 2: Characters for @rnmweekendwarriors

Character sheets are built to level 1, ready to play and free to use (I call dibs on Kyle)!

Build thoughts and links below:

I tried to translate the 8 main characters’ personalities, skills, and tools using D&D 5e Rules. The only things I didn’t include were spell saves and spells/day for the magic users.

I tweaked minor things in favor of maintaining character integrity, but otherwise I stuck to the rules building them as 5e 1st level characters. Things I adjusted (though still within the rules) were moving around ability scores (1 to 1) from the standard array plus racial bonuses, and made some of them proficient in skills that were strictly outside of their classes/backgrounds. I also played with their equipment and starting gold as made sense for their characters.

Obviously this is a result of how I personally understand the characters. Some further discussion, explanations, and justifications below:

Races: I made the aliens High Elves so I could give them each a Cantrip (Max, lightning hands; Michael, telekinesis; Isobel, talking directly into your brain); thus part-alien Maria is a Half-elf. (Maria and Rosa by all rights should probably have bonus cantrips, too, but I stuck with the rules for balance.)

Magic: Kyle and Max are the healers, Max with his Lay on Hands and Kyle with his Cleric spells. Maria and Isobel have some overlapping spells due to their related ancestry (and similar mind powers). You would be right if you thought that Maria maybe should be a Bard based on her personality and occupation, but I went with Druid for her for the Divine spellset which works much more like Maria’s premonitory/divining powers, especially beyond level 1. I made Isobel a Warlock thinking about Noah as her otherworldly patron (which, ew!), so she’s in the market for a new one now that he’s gone. Liz and Michael have all the spells you want to watch out for.

Combat: Rosa is the heavy hitter as the barbarian, though Alex is no slouch, either: both of them can take a licking and keep kicking. I gave Isobel and Michael scimitars because it reminded me of Louise’s sword. Kyle has a breastplate to represent his bullet-proof vest. Crossbows are for the characters who we know own guns. I gave Maria a longbow because of Heather Hemmens’ Instagram and an axe because of the cornfield incident.

Disability: Though there are no official D&D rules for disabled characters, the game is all about balance, so I reduced Alex’s walking speed to 25 ft (compared to the standard 30ft; and actually oops there is a mistake because Rosa’s base speed should be faster as a barbarian) and gave him an extra Inspiration die. If I were the DM I would rule that Alex can have up to 2, while normally characters are limited to hanging onto 1. His “quarterstaff” functions as his crutch which he may or may not beat people with. I didn’t work out mechanics for Michael’s hand or Rosa’s addiction, but would be happy to chat with anyone who might want to work out the mechanics of how those would function in-game.

Languages: I thought about assigning languages beyond Maria’s Druidic language, but the fantasy equivalent to “Spanish” that Liz, Rosa, and Kyle speak might vary by DM/setting. The “aliens” do not speak Elvish by design, since they know next to nothing about their heritage.

Alignments: are bullshit, anyway. As written in the show, all the mains are effectively Neutral Good, I just played with the options for a bit of diversity.

Backgrounds: I had the most fun using the standard D&D “backgrounds” to choose Personality Traits, Goals, Bonds, and Flaws based on the options given in the rulebook that resonated with their canon selves. If they sound a little weird, it’s because I pulled them from the book as written. I really got to lean into Liz’s mad scientist vibe here.

Credits: D&D character sheets were downloaded from Wizards of the Coast. Images are from promotional material for Season 2 (Rosa) and Season 1 (everyone else) released by the CW and pulled from the Fandom Wiki. Overlays were done through Lunapic.com.

#roswell new mexico #dnd #D&D #rnmweekendwarriors2021 #liz ortecho #max evans #alex manes #maria deluca #michael guerin #isobel evans #kyle valenti #rosa ortecho #stuff i write

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iamrealbuilder · 3 years

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Bill Buchalter interview

Bill Buchalter was a level designer for Sunstorm Interactive. He’s worked on 3 official add-on of Build Engine games: Cryptic Passage for Blood, Suckin’ Grits On Route 66 for Redneck Rampage, Caribbean Life for Duke Nukem 3D. Interview, November 2020: Corentin: Can you introduce yourself?

Bill Buchalter: My name is Bill Buchalter. I’m an avid gamer of all kinds – video games, board games, and especially tabletop RPGs. I’m currently a freelance writer for AAW Games (Adventure A Week Games) writing mini adventures for Dungeons & Dragons 5E. I live outside Indianapolis, IN with my wife Jane, our three kids, and our dog Roxi. When I’m not gaming, I also enjoy music, playing guitar, hiking, and camping.

C: With Sunstorm Interactive, you're credited for level design on Cryptic Passage, Caribbean Life and Route 66. How did you start working with Sunstorm and what do you remember from that time?

BB: In the mid 90’s, maybe around 1995 or 96, I was very into playing Duke Nukem 3D. Like most PC gamers at the time, I had played Castle Wolfenstein and Doom, and Duke Nukem just blew me away. Back in those days, when we played online, we would use a 3rd party program called KALI. You dialed up on your modem, logged onto the internet, and then used KALI as a portal to chat with other gamers and find someone to play with. The KALI software would then allow you to network together over the internet and play PVP matches. It was crude, and the lag could be horrible, but we didn’t know any better at the time and we loved it!

I remember I was in a B. Dalton bookstore in the mall one day (another relic of the 90’s that is long gone!) when I found a book called the “Duke Nukem 3D Level Design Handbook”. I was intrigued, and as I flipped through the pages it talked about a program on the Duke Nukem CD called Build, which allowed you to create your own levels. I had no idea Build existed, let alone how to use it. I bought the book and spent the next couple weeks diving into learning how to use Build. I was hooked!

Making my own maps quickly became an obsession. I would share them with my friends on KALI and I quickly earned a reputation for making user maps. I remember there was a map building competition, but I don’t recall who sponsored it. A guy named Robert Travis won the competition. When I saw his maps, I was blown away! His designs were so much more advanced than mine. He was using tricks I had never thought of to get lighting effects and set moods. I had to reach out to him to pick his brain.

Robert responded and we began talking and quickly figured out that we both lived in Indianapolis. He was working for Sunstorm at the time and invited me to come to their office to discuss level design. I met him there one evening, and he showed me some of the stuff he was working on. We ended up playing Duke all night on Sunstorm’s network with some of the other guys in the office. I was in heaven!

Robert introduced me to Anthony Campiti, the lead producer on Sunstorm’s next project – Cryptic Passage, an add-on for a Build engine game called Blood. They invited me to design some levels for the game and I jumped at the chance. Robert assigned me to design an opera house level and immediately I got pictures in my head of the theater scenes from Interview with a Vampire. I went home and worked furiously on designing the level. I was still rough, but with Robert’s help I tweaked things here and there and slowly learned his techniques. In the end I was really pleased with the level I’d designed. Robert and Anthony were happy too and asked me to design a second map specifically for deathmatch.

The next project Sunstorm was working on was Suckin’ Grits on Route 66, an add-on for another Build engine game called Redneck Rampage. Robert again asked if I’d like to be a part of that team and assigned me to build a truck stop level. Using a lot of the things I’d learned on Cryptic Passage, and the campy feel of the Redneck Rampage game, I had a lot of fun designing that level.

The last project I worked on for Sunstorm was Duke Nukem Caribbean Vacation. By this time Duke’s popularity was beginning to wane, and Quake was taking over. Robert was already starting to experiment and learn how to use the Quake engine. I was a new dad at the time (my first daughter had just been born) so unfortunately, I didn’t have the spare time to devote to learning a new engine. I barely had the time to design my level for Duke Caribbean, but I did manage to finish the casino level for that project. I do recall that Robert ended up going through in the end and changing a lot of the aspects of my level to fit the theme they had in mind. I remember being a bit disappointed and not really feeling like the level was “mine” because of so many of the changes. It was the last project I worked on for Sunstorm.

I kept in touch with Robert and Anthony for a while after that. They were branching out, working on other projects, and even trying to develop their own FPS game that I don’t think ever really got off the ground. Sunstorm was having the most success with their Deer Hunter line of games that at the time were selling well in Wal-Mart. Sadly, I eventually just lost touch with those guys.

I’m sure this is WAY more information than you were wanting (I’m a writer… I can’t help but go off the deep end!) but you dusted off some fond, old memories for me, so I apologize for walking so far down memory lane!

C: I see that you're still making maps, different kind of maps! This makes me wonder if maybe you were involved with W!Zone (a pack of maps for Warcraft 2 released by Sunstorm). Can you tell us a bit about that if possible?

BB: I didn’t have any hand in the W!Zone project for Sunstorm, but I loved the Warcraft series. As was common for many video gamers like me, who had roots in fantasy games like D&D, I played a lot of Warcraft and eventually got sucked into the world of MMOs with Ultima Online, Everquest, and World of Warcraft! If only I had back the time I sunk into those games!

These days I’m exclusively writing and designing for Dungeons and Dragons. I started about ten years ago writing for D&D Organized Play in a campaign called Living Forgotten Realms. I co-authored two adventures for that with my good friend, Michael Pearman, and authored a third adventure on my own. As you know from tracking me down via AAW Games, I’ve now authored six adventures for them, five of which are already published and one that is still in the works but should be released soon.

When I do manage to find time for video games, Diablo III is my game of choice these days. I’m looking forward to Season 22 starting here shortly, and like many others, I’m really hoping for something great with Diablo IV. I’ve been a huge fan of the series since the beginning, and even wrote an entire campaign for D&D 5E that translated the story of Diablo III into Dungeons and Dragons for the players in my home game! Thanks again for the opportunity to share some of this history. It was fun putting it all down and reliving those days!

C: There are two signatures in the Truck Stop level for Route 66. Do you remember anything about that ? There also several levels with no known credit : Fun Park, House of ill Repute, Mystery Dino Cave, Bigfoot Convention.

The signature on the truck stop is Route 66 was a joke! I was the only designer on that one. I just signed it "Billy Joe Jim Bob Buchalter" as a joke for bad redneck name. I wasn't the kind of guy that had to sign my maps the EXACT same way every time. :)

Other than the truck stop, I don't recall designing any other maps for Route 66. I pretty sure none of those you listed below were mine, but I don't recall whose they were.

Finally, here are some final comments Bill made after reading through some forum posts:

Wow, I am really quite humbled that you guys looked so deeply into my work! The fact that you could recognize my build style is pretty cool - I didn't even know I had a style! LOL. The truth be told, the reason you probably had so much trouble telling my levels from Robert's is because he was a big influence on me. I learned a lot from him and incorporated a lot of that into the stuff I built.

Its funny how reading through that thread you linked brought back memories... I remember now that my biggest disappointment from Duke Caribbean was that my only level in the game ended up being a secret level - that some people wouldn't even find it or ever play it. I was actually pretty excited about that level. I was the one that suggested a casino because my folks had retired to Vegas, so I'd been in a lot of the casinos there and had some great ideas for the map. I'd forgotten all about the restaurant I worked into it, and the big fish tanks.

There seems to be some debate about Robert. From what I remember, he was a really good guy. Maybe a bit tough to work for, but only because he really strived for our designs to be the best they could be, and he demanded that of both himself and the other designers. As I said before, I learned early on to accept criticism and critique and not take it personally. It was just Robert doing his job. I'll be the first to admit that I designed better levels thanks to the stuff I learned from Robert.

Someone on the message board made a very astute comment, basically to the effect that "Bill had to have other work out there. Sunstorm wouldn't hire an unproven guy off the street." But truth be told, that's exactly what they did! I hadn't done a single thing before working there. But I think a few things played in my favor. First, I lived in Indy, just 15 minutes from their office, so it was easy for me to go in and work directly with Robert. Second, while I didn't have anything officially published, I did have a disk full of the maps I'd designed on my own, and Robert thought I showed promise. I would design at home a lot, then go into the office a couple times a week and sit with Robert while he critiqued my work and offered advice on how to improve it.

I'll be honest - I'm blown away at the number of people STILL playing these old maps we made so many years ago. I watched a couple YouTube videos of a guy playing and reviewing Duke Caribbean and Blood Cryptic Passage. His high praise of both Full House and the Opera House really made my day. It's nice to know that people enjoyed my work.

_____________________________

Thanks a lot to Bill Buchalter for taking the time to answer these questions! Thanks also for sharing... “Big City” !

A Duke Nukem 3D map he created back in the day before joining with Sunstorm Interactive which was never released before! Screenshot:

Map download:

https://msdn.duke4.net/bigcity.zip

______

External link: Duke4 forum blog megathread: https://forums.duke4.net/topic/11471-blog-interviews-of-build-engine-video-games-developers/page__pid__353013#entry353013 The forum posts Bill read, mentionned above, can be found here: https://forums.duke4.net/topic/9418-duke-caribbean-multiplayer-levels/

#build #build-engine #blood #duke nukem #redneck-rampage #duke #nukem #duke nukem 3D #video games #route 66 #caribbean life #cryptic passage

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creativerogues · 5 years

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A Cool Monk...

So WAAAY back in the 70′s, when dnd was in it’s infancy, the Monk was once a cleric subclass, and an overpowered one at that, with the ability to do more damage than a 5e monk can do in 1 round with just 1 hit and the ability to attack way more often than them...

And recently, after looking over Blackmoor and Greyhawk from the 70′s, I came up with something pretty neat!

So in 5e there’s this thing called ‘Ranks’, which need to be earned by a Character (and almost no one uses them because all dnd characters lack effort), but it’s worth it because it gives you some pretty amazing buffs!

And so I made my own little variant, as yet untested, but based more off of the ability for an OD&D Monk to go absolutely crazy!

So, here it is!

I know it looks blurry and bland but here me out, at level 20, a normal 5e monk can do 1d10 damage with each hit from their unarmed strike, and can strike anywhere from 3 to 4 times per turn without taking into account any multiclassing or archetype specific abilities.

So at this level, a Level 20 Monk would be considered a ‘Master’ in Rank, a Master of the Martial Arts.

The next step is Grand Master, someone that controls a whole monastery and essentially trains those soon-to-be Level 20 Monks.

That’s why the Grand Master gets a boost to Open Hand Damage that they cause with their unarmed strikes, all those punches, kicks and etc.

But here is where the DM can have fun, because the only way to advance up in the ladder, from Master to Grand Master, is to single-handedly defeat the current Grand Master is a fist fight, either killing the Grand Master or forcing the Grand Master to submit and making you the new Grand Master.

After that, the cycle continues, eventually you become a Master of the Winds (insert fart joke) and then a Master of the Seasons and eventually a Grand Master of Flowers, of which there is only ever one in the world, the only true master of all ki...

But while doing 4d10 + your Dex Mod per hit sounds great for a Monk, if you feel like the Monk is already a little too damaging, you can use some other features.

A few I’ve come up with are:

Once per long rest, you can use your Flurry of Blows, Patient Defence or Step of the Wind feature without spending the necessary Ki.

Think of this like becoming so in tune with yourself and the universe that you can flow with it naturally, not needing to strain your body or mind to do what others would see as extraordinary.

Perhaps they gain the ability to use the ‘Step of the Wind’ feature without spending the necessary Ki after they become a Grand Master of the Winds for example.

Once per long rest, when you use your Stunning Strike feature, you can choose to spend an additional Ki point to grant the target disadvantage on their saving throw.

Again, something very useful that can’t be used often. Trust me when I say I’ve seen many times when a Monk has spent their Ki point to do Stunning Strike, and the creature immediately passes the save and the Monk just wasted their precious Ki to do literally nothing to help themselves or the party...

So while granting disadvantage is nice, it also doesn’t guarantee that the creature is gonna fail, so there’s still a chance that a creature with a solid Con Mod could easily succeed, even with disadvantage...

Your Movement Speed is now equal to 5 x your Monk Level while you are not wearing armour or carrying a non-monk weapon or shield.

This isn’t really much until the later levels, because at Level 20 having a Monk that has a base movement speed of 100 feet and the ability to dash, dash and dash again, basically going 300 feet in 6 seconds because Monk, is pretty dope.

Combine this with running on the ceiling and running on water and you got yourself a badass...

Your Deflect Missiles ability now allows you to reduce the damage of an attack by ____ + your Dexterity modifier + your monk level.

Instead of a d10, make it a d12, or 2d6, or 5d6, or 4d10, whatever you think is appropriate, but the ability to literally catch and halt a flying bolder in its tracks should be not only a sign of how badass you are, but to show how high up on the scale you are too!

Whenever you take the attack action on your turn, you can choose to spend 3 Ki points to make an additional unarmed strike.

I put it at a minimum of 3 Ki because the maximum number of regular attack any character should get should be about 10, that’s like a High-Level Fighter usnig even and Action Surge on top of it all.

And keep in mind, in order to get these kinds of abilities, your Monk first has to defeat this Grand Master of Whatever in single combat, meaning your could just have your Grand Master of Flowers do 400+ Damage in the first round if you wanted to...

Some more abilities I haven’t fleshed out yet are:

Spend X number of Ki points to automatically succeed on a saving throw.

Spend X number of minutes meditating and regain all your expended Ki.

These two are more for fun...

But after all that remember that each fight will be harder than the last. If you’re not using any of the above ideas or abilities and just want your Monk to do more straight damage with their unarmed strikes, then that’s fine, but remember that you’re fighting 10+ people who are very clearly more trained than you to get to the Rank of Grand Master of Flowers.

This is also a great thread to give to a Monk Player that has that super-animoo protagonist motivation of being the best martial artist in the world.

It gives the monk a motivation, and the monk should (hopefully) get their butt whopped at least once by one of these Grand Masters before defeating them and earning their new rank, or at least gain the privilege of training under a Grand Master of the Winds or a Grand Master of the Seasons to even gain the ability to challenge them for their title...

I’ve seen this before actually online in an old d&d campaign by everyone’s favourite not matt mercer named matt, Matt Colville.

With Bhaltair, the Human Monk, he gained the title of both ‘Master of Locusts’ and ‘Master of Ravens’, both things Matt made up, and after Bhaltair defeated the past Master of Ravens, he gained the title and some awesome powers to go with it, like being able to fly using raven ki magic stuff or turning into a flock of ravens.

So in a way, maybe Matt inspired me, in which case, Thanks!

P.S. I may or may not be testing this in an upcoming campaign, I have no Idea yet because no one has chosen a Monk yet, so it may not even come into play, in which case, feel free to test it yourself!

#Monk #dnd #homebrew #homebrew rules #dnd 5e homebrew #homebrew test #playtest

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castcharmperson · 5 years

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Bruh that Taako thing was great!!! Is it possible I could request a part two? 👀👀👀

Hey!!! You’re great!!! Thanks for this nice ask!!!

Part two is way more dialogue heavy than I expected, and I’m sort of ignoring 5e with how the spell Silence works. But that’s fine!

[link to part one]

The Winter Solstice was hardly the event of the season. It wasn’t a party like it’s twin, The Summer Solstice. Nor was it a bombastic celebration like Candlenights. The Winter Solstice was traditionally a day spent eating food and sitting around a bonfire. Angus was going to be home from school anyway, but the weeks leading up to the holiday were filled with letters from Magnus and more formal invitations on Taako’s Taako Brand TM stationary, insisting the entire family had to be home for the first Starblaster Extended Crew celebration of the Solstice.

When Angus arrived, he figured he shouldn’t be surprised that Magnus had converted the empty pool into a safe location for the bonfire. There must have been a small forest worth of chopped wood stacked in there.

“You want to do the honors, kid?” Lup had offered him once everyone had gathered together. “I’m told you’ve mastered Scorching Ray.” Ah, so she also hadn’t forgotten The Dispel Magic Incident, or DMI as he’d taken referring to it in his notes. They shared a look, but neither of them said anything. Instead, Angus cast the spell and the bonfire ignited. Magnus, Carey, and Killian cheered, while Taako brushed past everyone to get back inside to the kitchen.

“Taako! Can I help with dinner?” Angus asked, following him into the house.

“I don’t know, squirt, this is kind of a one elf job.” Taako wasn’t looking at him, busying himself with taking a roast out to thaw.

“Well that’s perfect, because I’m not an elf!”

Taako sighed, but didn’t shoo him away. He didn’t turn around either and Angus couldn’t get any new notes for this case if Taako wouldn’t look at him. His Insight mod was high, but not that high. “Besides, I’ve been gone for a while. I’m sure you’ve got new spells to teach me.”

That made Taako pause. They had both decidedly spent the last few days of summer pretending nothing had happened and, at that time, Angus was fine with that. But The World’s Greatest Detective could only wait so long before the need for answers weighed more than the need to keep the peace with his family.

Taako still wouldn’t turn around though. He gave a blunt laugh before gathering a few more dishes that had been frozen overnight. “So this is how we’re going to do this, huh?”

“Either like this, or I can cast Zone of Truth,” Angus offered, perhaps leaning too heavily into his ‘cheerily helpful’ disposition.

“Aglet,” Taako’s voice was sharp and so was his expression when finally turned to face Angus. He was still leaning back on the counter, faux casual, but his eyeshadow was a different color. The Disguise Self must have worn off- how did he recast it without Angus even noticing? “What part of ‘you didn’t see anything’ did you not understand?”

“The part where you’ve been hiding a limp all day.”

Taako scoffed and rolled his eyes.“I thought Magnus talked to you about doing this detective bullshit on the family.” Angus knew he was going to lose this lead unless he made a bigger move.

“It’s not bullshit when someone’s keeping secrets–”

“Watch your fucking language–”

“You’re the one who said no one was supposed to keep secrets anymore!” Angus hadn’t mean to raise his voice, wasn’t really aware that he’d done it until it was done. He never used to do that. He was pretty sure he had to increase his volume after spending as much time around a family that constantly talked over each other.

He heard the change before he felt the magic settle over the room. Before Angus became a wizard, he had a few different items that could cast Silence for him, but the spell had a different power behind it when cast by one of the most talented mages in the multiverse.

He was so distracted by the spell that he didn’t notice Taako walk across the kitchen until he was towering over Angus. The boy had grown a little, during his semester away, but not enough to really forget how much shorter he was than everyone except Merle and Davenport.

“I don’t know what game you’re trying to play, but I promise you, McDonald, you will lose.”

This lead was absolutely getting away from him. He needed to change tactics, try a different approach, maybe make good on his threat for Zone of Truth. His spell DC might be high enough, despite how charismatic Taako was. He was the World’s Greatest Detective, he could still crack this case.

Instead, he panicked. “Are you okay?”

That made Taako take a step back, nearly stumbling before grabbing onto the back of one of the kitchen chairs. “What?”

“I want to know what happened.” Angus took a bold step forward, but Taako only laughed, the same harsh sound he made first time Angus called him and the others on their horseshit back on the Rockport Limited.

“You’re barely ten years old, you don’t know what you want!”

“I’m twelve!”

“So I’ve got a whole year before you can start this teenage rebellion bullshit. Ango, this feast is not going to cook itself and I–”

Taako started to turn away. This was his last chance. “My parents died in the Relic Wars.”

If Taako had looked horrified when Angus saw his scars, if he’d been confused when Angus asked if he was okay, those were nothing compared to this. For a moment, he wondered if he’d stopped speaking Common, but any other language he could possibly know, he’s sure Taako would have understood.

“That. Um.” Taako’s left leg seemed to buckle for a second before he grabbed the back of the chair again. With a defeated sigh, he sat down. “I’m going to ruin dinner because of this.”

“Probably not, sir, you’re a very good chef.”

“Obviously,” Taako muttered, scrubbing a hand across his face. His make up didn’t smudge, but with a snap of his fingers, it was gone completely. His hair fell loose around his shoulders and his freckles stopped shimmering in imaginary starlight. “Fine, okay, let’s turn this into a teachable moment. Barry and Lup are liches, right?”

“Yes…” Angus wasn’t sure where this was going, but at least it was going somewhere. He pulled out another chair and sat down.

“You better pray Istus never fates you to meet any others. Others liches are what did this to me. And to Merle and to Magnus.”

The Wonderland mission had been a nightmare. Having the Reclaimers drop off the map, then Magnus not coming home. Merle had an eyepatch and Taako… With the chaos that followed, the literal end of the world, Angus hadn’t noticed anything different about Taako.

“I’m the worst detective,” he mumbled, but Taako put hand on his shoulder bringing him back to the present.

“Hey.” For the first time since Silence was cast, Taako didn’t seem angry with him anymore. “You are the best detective. World’s Greatest. How’d you get started with all that anyway?”

“Tried to find out what happened with my parents.”

“Bet Cresha didn’t make that easy for you.”

“No, she did not.” They shared a small laugh, though Angus assumed for different reasons. A non-magical silence lingered for a moment before Angus was able to look at Taako again. “Does it hurt?”

“Gotta be more specific than that, kiddo.” Taako stretched and Angus heard several joints pop.

“You face?”

“Physically, no.”

“Emotionally?”

“Uh-uh-uh!” Taako shook a finger so close to Angus’s face that he nearly went cross eyed. When he focused on Taako again, the elf was grinning. “I already let you slip two questions in on that turn. Don’t try to pull a fast one on a flip wizard. Taako’s turn now. Where’d you get that scar?” He pointed to the back of Angus’s hand.

“My grandfather stabbed me with a fork.”

Taako nearly choked, strained and genuine laugh squeezing through his throat. “The fuck? What did you do?”

“It was an accident. Where’d you get your scar?”

“Gotta be more specific. Why’d you ask me to teach you magic?”

Angus huffed, and crossed his arms over his chest. “You are not making this easy.”

“Didn’t say I would.” Taako mirrored his posture, smirking in a way that Angus found strangely comforting. “Answer my question.”

Angus shrugged. “What you did on the train was pretty cool.”

“Hey, am I bullshitting on my answers? No, I’m not. Do not make me cast Zone of Truth, young man.”

“You don’t have that spell.”

“Fuck you, I don’t have that spell. I’ve got whatever fucking spell I want.” Taako moved to stand, but seemed to think better of it and slouched back down. Angus still didn’t say anything. Taako, surprisingly, stayed quiet, waiting him out. All his detective training had prepared him pretty well for being on the other side of interrogations, but he found himself fidgeting in the silence after only a minute.

“Grandpa wasn’t… all there? I guess. You guys were the first people to… I don’t know.” For all the books Angus had read, not many of them offered a word for what that feeling had been. “I asked Magnus to teach me to fight, but he said I was too young. And, uh, Merle wasn’t…”

“Yeah, no, I remember how Merle was.”

“Was he not like that on the Starblaster?”

“You still haven’t answered my question, but I’ll give you a freebee.” Taako leaned back. He’d been paying pretty close attention when Angus was speaking, but now he seemed to focus on something off in the distance. “No, he wasn’t like that on the Starblaster. Was your grandpa mad when you didn’t bring the silverware?”

“He was dead before I got there.”

Taako’s attention slid back to him, but his posture stayed loose. “You don’t seem very upset about that.”

Angus shrugged. “What happened to your legs?”

“Washing machine fell on me.”

Angus tried not to react to that. It was surprisingly easy, mostly because the idea was so hard to imagine he couldn’t really react at all. He leaned back in his chair, mirroring Taako to the best of his ability despite his feet not reaching the floor. “You don’t seem very upset about that.”

“Oh trust me, I am. It’s just,” Taako barked out a laugh, “It’s so stupid? Like it didn’t even make any sense? This big dumb thing just fell on me out of nowhere!” He laughed again, shaking his head and staring at nothing again. “Do you miss your parents?”

“I didn’t really know them, so no, not really. Do you miss your home planet?”

Taako scoffed. “Definitely not. Why’d you go to Lucas’s shitty school?”

Angus thought about bullshitting an answer again. It would have been easy to say he’d already been enrolled in The Academy before Taako announced he was opening a school. And that wouldn’t even be a lie! It’s what had happened. But he could have talked to Lucas, could have found a way to transfer. He had considered doing so, but something had stopped him. That same feeling he didn’t really have a word for.

“Because I’m already in your school.”

Taako didn’t react at first, just blinking at nothing, but then he was blinking at Angus. He tilted his head, as if a different angle could help him better see through a lie that wasn’t there. Angus shrugged at Taako’s unasked question and Taako broke into a grin. “And that’s exactly what I want to hear from my favorite student.”

Angus found himself matching the smile, enjoying the unexpected success before he remembered why he started this game in the first place. “Why were you mad when I cast Dispel Magic?”

Taako shook his head. “Wasn’t mad. You scared the fuck outta me. Where’d you learn that spell?”

“Barry taught me.”

“Son of a bitch…”

Angus pressed on. “Do your legs hurt?”

Taako’s grin slid off his face, but he kept staring at Angus. There was something brighter about his eyes, focused like this and without the glamour. He was quiet for a long time before sighing and nodding a little. He looked down, at the way his legs draped out from the chair, unposed, as close to comfortable as it was possible to be in a kitchen chair. When he looked back at Angus, he seemed strangely determined.

“All the damn time.”

“Why don’t you tell anyone?”

Taako held up his index finger again, smile returned. “Uh-uh! Not your turn.” When Taako didn’t follow with a question, Angus tried not to get inpatient. He really seemed to be thinking about it before leveling Angus was a surprisingly serious, but focused, expression. “Are you okay?”

Taako had asked him this question only twice before. The rest of the Birds asked him pretty often, but it was different when it came from Taako. When Lucretia asked Angus if he was okay, he expected it. She had brought an eleven-year-old onto a secret moonbase; she thought he was her responsibility, like the rest of the weight of the world was. Davenport asked because he was the Captain and Captains made sure their crew was okay. Magnus wore his heart on his sleeve, so did Lup and Barry. They asked in that familiar, comforting way. Merle was a cleric, he usually asked if Angus was okay in regards to exclusively physical matters.

For all Taako pretend to be “good out here,” to be an idiot wizard, that disguise was flimsy within minutes of Angus meeting him, much more so after all his memories returned. Despite Lucretia being his Boss and Davenport as the family’s Captain, Taako was his Mentor.

The first time Taako had asked if he was okay was after The Story and Song. He was standing on shaky legs after fighting for his life and struggling to focus on anything in front of him after a century was shoved into his mind. Taako had put a hand on his shoulder and the world held together just a little bit longer.

The second time Taako had asked if he was okay was the day after The Detect Magic Incident.

“Yes Taako. I’m okay.”

“Good.” Taako gave a small smile, before clapping his hands together and starting to stand. His grip on the back of the chair turned his knuckles white, but he was steady on his feet. He didn’t bother looking at Angus’s concerned expression. “And before you ask, no, it is not always this bad. Holiday had me on my feet a lot.”

“One last question?” Angus asked anyway.

Taako sighed, rolling not just his eyes but lolling his whole body in a put-upon motion. “Fiiine. But you’re peeling all the potatoes.”

“That’s fair.” Angus hopped out of his seat and Taako handed him the potato peeler. He got through the first one, letting Taako focus on seasoning the roast. “Why wont you tell anyone?”

Taako didn’t answer for a while, but Angus didn’t feel impatient anymore. He went through three more potatoes before Taako finally said, “They’re all…” He sighed, and Angus tried to look at him without turning his head, despite his glasses not clearing that part of his vision. Taako was making the sort of hand gesture he usually used when talking about his family. “Because they’re stupid.” He finally settled on that and Angus put down the potato peeler to put his hands on his hips.

“That’s a bullshit answer.”

“Well it’s true!”

Angus didn’t budge and Taako laughed. “Istus, you’d be adorable like that if I didn’t know you knew Zone of Truth. Okay, yeah. Cresha’s already a mess, I don’t really need to dunk more guilt on her because she is, in fact, the idiot who sent us there. Dav is… Dav, so he’s always weird about when we get hurt. Barry and Magnus and Merle were all there and– and Lup was too. They’re going to be weird about it.

“And it’s not like on the Starblaster where we’d get hurt but it was better next cycle. There is no next cycle. I’m going to be like this forever. And Krav, he hasn’t said anything about it yet, but I know he wants to see ‘the real me’ or whatever stupid sappy thing that you are too young to understand–”

“I’m twelve, I understand how basic decency works.”

“Shut up. And everyone is going to want it to be all the time and I don’t… I don’t want that.”

“You don’t have to tell everyone.”

Taako just shook his head. “You shouldn’t even know about this. No one was supposed to know.”

“I won’t tell anyone. But you should at least tell Lup.” He didn’t need a hundred years of memories in his head to know that, despite how close everyone on the Starblaster was, the twins were something else.

“I can’t tell Lup.”

Neither of them were sure when the Silence spell had worn off, or how long she’d been leaning against the doorframe to the kitchen when Lup chimed in. “Can’t tell Lup what?”

#well this was fun #taz #taz fic #the adventure zone #taako #angus mcdonald #charmedwords #charmedanswers #i rewrote this three different times...#sazz-orak

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fly-pow-bye · 5 years

Text

Powerpuff Girls 2016 - “Man Up 4: The Donnyest Game”

Written by: Haley Mancini

Written & Storyboarded by: Alicia Chan

Directed by: Nick Jennings, Bob Boyle

Yup, he's back.

The epic Man Up saga gets yet another episode, turning the trilogy into a tetralogy, putting it in the same category as the Shrek series. I'd argue the quality is very similar, at least in my opinion. The second one was better than the first, one of the rare sequels that was better in every way, and the third one was just horrific. It was so horrific that I didn't even want to watch the fourth one, but somebody once told me that the world was going to roll me and The Final Chapter was better than the third.

I could talk about the Shrek films all day, but I don't think that's what you came here for. Maybe I'm just trying to delay the inevitable, since the very first character we see in this episode is...

...oh boy, Donny. I was sort of hoping that Donny in the title wasn’t referring to the comic relief, as unlikely as that would be. At least they continue the cruelty streak with him that started with Total Eclipse of the Kart, as he struggles to open a jar of strawberry jam without getting it all over himself and getting covered with ants. It's not that it isn't deserved. The Powerpuff Girls, who normally help other people with jars, don't seem to want to help, though Bubbles does give this lovely advice.

Bubbles: Stop, drop, and roll, Donny!

The joke is that he's not on fire, you silly goose! Get ready, because there's a lot of jokes like this. While all of this jam related insanity is happening, a familiar face is hiding in the bushes.

Because this is a part of the Man Up tetralogy, we get the one thing that linked all of them, and the only thing that linked all of them: the villain is Manboy, a man man man man who wants to prove that he is a man man man man by doing man man man man things. The most man man man man thing in this episode is to beat up this majestic unicorn. See, it's ironic, because this majestic horned pony is getting annihilated by ants. Or, "ant-nilhilated" as Donny puts it. He's trying. Oh McCracken, he's trying.

I'm surprised they didn't leave a pause between that pun and Blossom talking about the B-plot of this episode. She doesn't want to waste any time, because they have one hour before they have to participate in the Utonium Strawberry Picking Contest.

The winner gets their photo on the fridge, along with a photo showing the "4th year strawberry champ", which happens to be Blossom! Before I can ramble on about how this show's sense of time is out of whack, I can say that the episode proves that this is not referring to Blossom being the 4th consecutive winner of the strawberry picking contest, but the winner of the 4th year this contest was held. Then again, who would have participated in the 1st? Jojo back when he was a monkey? I'm putting way too much thought into this, am I?

Donny is super intrigued by this grand prize, as if the winds of destiny were whispering "Danny". Bubbles has to slowly move her Finn-faced head in to remind him that his name is Donny, in another amazing joke for this comic relief character.

Buttercup, that rascal, tells Donny he doesn't have a good shot at being the champion of giving Sitcom Dad his sweet, sweet free strawberries, but Bubbles comes in to defend her best friend.

Bubbles: It's okay, Don-Bon! You may not be the best strawberry hunter, but you’re still my best friend!

Yeah, great pep talk, Bubbles. Yeah, Donny is terrible at absolutely everything, but at least he's Bubbles' best friend because he has a great personality he doesn't treat his old friends like dirt when he makes new ones he's a unicorn! Donny seems to take it okay, at least.

Suddenly, Blossom gets a call from the Mayor that the Blimp Shrimp is on the loose, reminding us all that the Powerpuff Girls do indeed save the world before bedtime and aren't just strawberry pickers that can fly. There really isn't much else; we don't even get to see this Blimp Shrimp; I guess we're supposed to just find rhyming funny. It's not really on the money.

Well, there is one reason: it's so Donny can do something that isn't very bright, since he can't seem to use his common sense without the girls to guide him. While he’s hunting for strawberries using his strategy of saying he will not be distracted, he sees a churro on a napkin. This napkin happens to be right next to a lasso hanging off of a tree! He can't fall for this.

(Johnny Test Whip Crack)

At least, that's what Manboy thought. Manboy is bewildered by this specimen, as not only does he not look like the unicorn in his purple guidebook, he fell for the very first trap he put up! You'd think he would know all of this, since he was clearly looking at him getting defeated by ants.

Man Boy: It says here that unicorns are incredibly powerful, are experts at camouflage, and are capable of tracking their opponents across many miles! That doesn't really sound like you!

Donny: I know! I sound more like, "Hi, my name's Donny! D-O-N-N-Y!"

I am so glad to say this is the last time he appears this season. They couldn’t even be consistent with him not knowing his name. They could have at least had him misspell it. Actually, they shouldn’t. Manboy, finding no pleasure in beating up such a weakling, offers him some training that would turn him into a commando. “A strawberry commando?”, Donny asks, and Manboy just rolls with it.

So Manboy trains his own opponent through many tasks, like jumping across cliffs, catching fish, doing pull-ups over a fire, and a few other. This training montage is played a bit too straight to be that funny, but it does have this song about how montages are only here to speed things up. No, really.

Bet you can't guess what's happening here Time is of the essence, so we'll make it clear We only got a minute for a montage song Because this episode is ten minutes long

A montage is happenin'!

I am not going to lie, it's kind of catchy, and at least it gives a scene some sort of a joke.

There is one other thing: there's a scene where Donny gets taken away by what is unmistakably a bald eagle. Later, after he starts getting the hang of being a manly unicorn, he punches that eagle right in the face without even a hit flash. I don’t even know what to say.

After his training and his somewhat justified violence against the national bird of the country this takes place in, or at least it was in the original, he ends up becoming a Rambo-like muscled hero, looking almost exactly like the picture in that purple guidebook. I always wanted to see Donny get the Musclecup treatment, said no one ever. Thanks to this training, Donny stops telling bad jokes all the time and now speaks only in gruff action hero lines. Not sure if I would consider that an improvement.

Manboy: Okay, unicorn! It's time to play the most dangerous game...and you're it!

...so he wants to play a children's playground game with him? That is the conclusion one would expect Donny to consider with that line, but how else would somebody interpret that? I think he may have forgotten a sentence.

Suddenly, Donny starts shooting horn lasers at him. He tries, for the only time in the entire episode, to use his man man man man beard powers, but they get lasered off. Much like the Reboot Puffs in certain episodes, Manboy just knows that a punch would not be able to stop him, and just runs away.

Speaking of the Reboot Puffs, we do get a peek back at the B-plot, and I really mean a peek, because there's almost nothing here. After Sitcom Dad reiterates how this strawberry picking contest's prize is that fabled picture on the fridge, Buttercup boasts that she is for sure that she'll win this time. She has a secret weapon: a dust buster. Bubbles asks if she really learned nothing from that time she used a vacuum cleaner last year.

Insert cutaway gag where Buttercup chases triple chin Ranger Smith with a vacuum cleaner. Honestly, Bubbles should have just stopped at asking if she really has learned nothing, because the answer is usually yes.

Most of this episode is just Manboy getting chased by the Muscled Hellhorn, sometimes hiding in a bush to avoid him. Donny slowly walks, yelling out to Manboy to come out, come out, where ever he is. This is the big irony; he's this big and strong manly man, and he's getting chased away by a sparkly unicorn...who is also a big and strong manly man. I think the muscles and action movie one liners really lessen this.

Buttercup shows up to suck up some strawberries with her dust buster, and she unintentionally sucks up the bush Manboy was hiding in. Hey, something that actually ties the Donny chasing after Manboy plot with the strawberry plot! Unfortunately, that's the only time the two plots really converge; Donny doesn't even seem to be interested in the strawberries in any of these scenes.

As for those strawberries, the next time we see a Powerpuff Girl is when the episode suddenly cuts to a scene where Blossom is picky about what strawberries she puts in her basket. At least that kind of fits her character, even if that seems to sabotage her plans to win. Sitcom Dad outright said the person with the most strawberries wins that coveted photo on the fridge. Honestly, that's really it for the strawberry plot until the end, and no attempt is made to connect this scene with anything else.

It's just more Donny from here on out. If there's any kind of progression, at least the training montage made him a little more competent at dodging traps. He easily dodges an arrow trap, and just walks through a fallen tree. The closest thing to an action scene in this entire episode, really. Eventually something's got to break this new character of his, and it's going to take more than a napkin with a churro on it.

Oh no, it takes a napkin with two churros to make him fall into a trap! He even reverts back to his usual voice just to yell out his love for churros. Manboy shows up that he finally bested this majestic and powerful unicorn...even though he not once tried to lay a finger on him like he said he was going to do. I guess he would take any victory at this point.

Unfortunately for Manboy, that victory doesn't last. Somehow, Donny managed to set up a trap of his own, as Manboy ends up walking backwards, stepping onto a green button, which covers him in strawberry jam. At least that strawberry jam scene from the opening has a point, as he then gets to succumb to the ants.

And not just ants, either, but he also ends up running into a beehive. It doesn't entirely reference the infamous Nicolas Cage remake of The Wicker Man, but we do get this line, which is almost as good:

Manboy: Oh my god! Bees! Bees! Gyaaah!

Okay, he says gosh, but that's not what I heard. Then he gets attacked by a shark, because random. Eventually, he does end up going into a river, which does cleanse him from the jam, the ants, the bees, and the shark. This river ends up going into a waterfall, and then goes into another waterfall. Both times, they have to point out where Manboy is with a giant yellow beeping arrow, as if the context wasn't clear enough. This scene was enjoyable, but that might be because this is the best beating Manboy ever gotten.

And now, the required "I'm so sorry I was such a doofus" scene, though we usually don't see it from a villain. Donny somehow managed to get out of the cage and run all the way down to the bottom of the twin waterfalls to confront Manboy. I honestly stopped questioning such things; maybe it's that same kind of unicorn magic that allows him to poof tickets to ice skating shows.

Donny doesn't accept this apology, and does what he wanted to do as a person who was called "It."

Donny: Tag, you're it! Now you'll have to chase me-e-e-e-e-e!

The conclusion one would expect Donny to consider with that "and you're it" line is exactly what happens. One might ask, if this was Donny's idea of playing tag, why was he trying to horn laser him? The answer, much like most other questions one could ask about this reboot, is pineapples.

Manboy, in his anger, finally decides to lunge right towards Donny to possibly fulfill his promise to beat up a unicorn. Donny moves his neck slightly to make him miss and hit a tree instead. Yeah, it wasn't as cool as when Blossom did that in the original.

In the end, they finally tie this all up with that strawberry plot I completely forgot about, since it barely shows up. Blossom has her pretty pile, Buttercup accidentally sucked up the park ranger, and Bubbles ate the strawberries she found. Since she's best friends with a character who is well established in this episode to be not too bright, Bubbles can't be too far off, you see.

Donny shows up with that tree Manboy ran into, and it turned out to be a strawberry tree. His muscular physique is suddenly gone for no reason whatsoever. Why shouldn't they just have him stay muscular at the end of the episode? The status quo never seems to bother them.

The Professor decides to give Donny that fabled photo on the fridge he always wanted, right next to a fridge magnet of a poorly drawn Texas. Yee haw. Yeah, I can't think of a better ending for this.

Does the title fit?

Sadly, yes, at least with the Donnyest Game. I guess Donny being made more "manly" does sort of continue with Man Up 3's themes, but that's as close as we get.

How does it stack up?

Out of all the Donny-focused episodes, this is the best Donny one by the virtue of having not as much to complain about. He’s not constantly whining and being an absolutely terrible analogy the writers had to deny. He’s not being a terrible friend by ditching him for a total stranger who happened to have glitter and crayons. The episode doesn’t prop him up as this incredibly important character while the characters we should be caring about are getting their butts kicked. Most importantly, it’s not Bubbs and Donny Get The Mail.

However, there really isn't much to praise, either. The strawberry plot doesn't really go anywhere beyond a cutaway gag, and this episode doesn't change my opinion on Manboy or Donny as characters. I don't hate this episode, but I didn't really want to re-watch it.

Next, another episode where a villain cowers in fear over a cutesy character. Will it be any better than this one?

← Watch It! ☆ The Oct-Father →

#fpb ppg 2016 #ppg 2016 #powerpuff girls #cartoon network #fpb reviews

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