#and making your matching oc regina

[ao719]

Best Kept Secrets

Best Kept Secrets - Built to Last (Chapter 19)

Characters belong to Pixelberry.

Summary: An unforeseen encounter with the past proves that even the best-kept secrets eventually make their way into the light. 

Title inspiration: Changing Tides - The Fray

Book/Pairing: TRR; Liam x F!OC

A/N: Not beta’d. Please excuse any errors. 

Rating: M • Warning: This series will contain NSFW material. If you read, you acknowledge you are 18+

Catch up here

Slipping out of the SUV, Liam strode through the front doors of the palace after returning from a lunch meeting in the capitol. His assistant met him in the foyer and matched his steps up the stairs as he handed him a small stack of papers he needed for his next meeting. 

“Thank you,” Liam said as he quickly looked them over. “You can head to my study. I’m just going to stop and see Amara and Sophia real quick.”

“Of course, sir,” the man nodded.

Once they reached the landing, they turned in opposite directions as Liam headed for the north wing.

It had been a month since they returned from their trip to New York, and things had been going well. 

Amara seemed more relaxed. The guilt she’d been feeling prior to the trip didn’t seem to weigh as heavily on her after their talk at the hotel that night. He was watching her fall back into the old Amara … the one he’d fallen in love with two years ago. 

The one with no guilt. 

The one with no secrets. 

The press had ceased their verbal attacks on Amara’s intentions since learning she was staying in Cordonia. Now, they turned their focus on the status of her and Liam’s relationship, questioning if they would rekindle the romance they once had. 

Liam didn’t give them the satisfaction of a response. Partly because he didn’t feel it was any of their business, at least not yet. And partly because he had nothing to give them at the moment. 

In the month since they returned to Cordonia after deciding to see where things could go between them, they’d certainly gotten closer. They’d spent every evening together, but only behind the confines of the palace walls and as a family. They would meet once Liam finished work for the day in either the north wing or his quarters, they’d have dinner, and they’d play with Sophia before putting her to bed. Then they would have their time, which consisted of talking or watching a movie. And when they weren’t chatting or paying attention to a TV screen, they would get caught up in one another, but they had yet to cross any lines beyond kissing. 

While Liam was the one who said he wanted to “slow down”, he found himself struggling to rein in his desires for Amara as they grew closer; the tension between them continued to thicken and each kiss they shared grew more passionate. He was determined to get things right this time around, however, so he was content with taking things slow. 

Once at the north wing, Liam stepped inside and rounded the corner to see them in the living area; Amara was sitting on the sofa with her laptop in front of her while Sophia played with blocks on the floor. 

“Dada!” Sophia squealed when she spotted him; she pushed herself to stand and toddled toward him. 

Liam grinned as he leaned down and scooped her into his arms. “Hi, princess.” His gaze then met Amara’s as he approached her; he leaned down, kissing her cheek. “Hi.” 

“Hi,” Amara smiled. “How was your meeting?” 

“It was fine. I thought I’d stop by before the next one. What have you two been up to?” 

“Not much,” Amara shrugged. “We just got back from having lunch with Regina. She was wondering if you’d spoken to Leo.”

“Yes,” Liam nodded. “He told me he was coming home next weekend to finally meet his niece,” he smiled as Sophia looked at him. “You’re going to have your Uncle Leo wrapped right around your little finger, I can already tell.” He then looked at Amara. “He’s looking forward to meeting you, too.”

“Me?”

“You are the mother of his niece,” Liam playfully scoffed. “And we’re … well, ya know …” He winked. 

Amara smiled sheepishly with a quiet laugh as she dropped his gaze. “Right.”

An imperceptible smirk tugged at the corner of Liam’s lips at the light pink tint that he saw bloom on her cheeks. While she’d become much more relaxed since their talk, she was still being careful and seemed to get easily flustered at any comment he made in a teasing, flirtatious manner. The old Amara from two years ago was bold in her flirtations, and while he was hoping to see that bold side come back, there was something about her getting flustered that he found endearing. 

It had become a secret little game of his to see it happen. 

Just then, Amara’s phone rang; she glanced at the screen before rising from the sofa. “Can you watch her for a quick sec? I need to take this.”

“Sure,” Liam nodded. 

As she disappeared down the hall, Liam walked to the sofa and sat down with Sophia. “Are you having fun with Mommy?” he asked Sophia before smothering her cheek with playful kisses. She giggled and pulled back, then leaned across him, stretching her arms out. His gaze shifted in the direction she was reaching and fell on Amara’s open laptop. “No, you can’t have that, silly,” he chuckled. He was about to close it, but his brows furrowed and he leaned forward to get a better look. He felt a pang of surprise mixed with trepidation when he saw what was on the screen. 

It was a realtor’s website … with listings of houses for sale. 

When Liam and Amara first talked after the statement was made and she told him she planned to stay in Cordonia, she mentioned eventually finding a place of her own. At the time, he didn’t think much of it, and in the nearly three months since that conversation, any notion of it had slipped his mind entirely. Even though she had only brought it up that one time, it clearly hadn’t slipped her mind. 

A dozen questions and thoughts flooded his mind, but before he could process them, Amara reappeared. “Sorry about that.”

Snapping from his daze, Liam looked at her and cleared his throat. “It’s alright. Everything ok?”

“Yeah,” Amara nodded. As she stared at him, she could see the moment he sensed that she wanted to say more. “I’ll talk to you about it later.” 

Liam nodded even as more questions filled his head. Talk about what? He thought it might have something to do with what he just glimpsed on her laptop, and despite wanting to ask her about it, he thought that perhaps that was better left for later. 

Glancing at his watch, Liam sighed. “I have that meeting soon.” He stood from the sofa, kissed Sophia’s cheek, and set her back down in front of her blocks before turning to Amara. “We’re meeting at my place tonight?” he asked as they walked toward the door.

“Yeah,” Amara confirmed.

“I should be finished at my usual time, but if something comes up …” Liam turned to see her leaning against the wall, looking up at him. “…I’ll let you know.” She nodded as he took a step toward her, and in the next moment, he leaned down, pressing his lips to hers. His hand came up, settling on her neck as his thumb brushed along the curve of her jaw. A moment later, he drew back just enough to break the kiss and whispered against her lips, “I’ll see you later.”

“Bye …”

When Liam slipped out, Amara dropped her head against the door with a soft thud and closed her eyes as she let out a breath. For the past month, she’d been struggling with her longing for him. She swore each day she had to fight twice as hard as the one before to tamp down her growing desire. 

It wasn’t just the longing, though. It was the giddiness over the way he was making her feel … the same way he did two years ago. Hell, he couldn’t even be playful or flirtatious without making her lose her composure. He’d make one small comment and the butterflies would erupt in the masses and she’d start blushing. 

Amara lifted her head and took in a determined breath. She would continue to follow his lead because she didn’t want to do anything to ruin the progress they’d made. 

****

That night, after their usual round of dinner, playing, and putting Sophia to bed, Liam and Amara sat in the living area inside his quarters as a movie played on the TV screen. 

Liam had a few meetings that day, but he’d been distracted during each of them as thoughts of what he glimpsed on Amara’s laptop consumed his mind. He wasn’t sure why her looking for a place of her own bothered him so much … but it did. 

Despite them currently living under the same roof, they were in separate wings, so Amara having her own place wouldn’t really change anything between them. But Liam wouldn’t be able to just walk a few corridors to her door. He wouldn’t be able to drop by unannounced and on the fly anytime he wanted like he could now. And spending every evening with them would probably dwindle to once or twice a week. He’d be missing out on time and moments he didn’t want to miss out on … like the one he found himself in now.

Liam drew back from Amara’s lips, trying to will his desire for her back inside its cage. “So,” he whispered as his thumb brushed against her cheek, “what was that phone call about earlier?” 

“Oh, um …” Amara leaned back. “It was my realtor …”

“A realtor?” Liam asked, feigning ignorance. 

“Yeah,” she nodded. “I’ve been looking since I made the decision to stay and with price drops happening left and right lately, I thought it would be a good time to really look.” 

Liam shifted on the sofa, draping one arm across the back as he rested his hand on her thigh. “Really look as in …?”

“I have appointments to view some listings.” 

“I see,” Liam nodded as he held her gaze. “Is this something you want to do right now? I told you there was no rush for you to find a place.” 

“I don’t want to overstay my welcome,” Amara quipped, and he gave her a look. “It’s a process, not something that happens overnight, so I just think it might be time to start looking.” 

Liam nodded again as he watched his finger trace a shape on her denim-clad thigh. “What kind of place are you looking for?”

“Something secure. Obviously, with Sophia …” 

Liam’s jaw tensed at even the mere thought of anyone having easy access to not just Sophia but Amara as well, but he tried to remain casual. “Right …” 

“Something with a yard for her to play in.”

A nod was all Liam offered, unable to say what he was thinking. She has acres and acres of yard to play in here at the palace. 

“Three bedrooms.”

“Three?” Liam questioned.

“I thought having one for a guest room would be a good idea, just in case.”

“In case what?”

“I don’t know … in case Daniel or Riley or someone else needs to crash one night.”

Again, Liam offered nothing but a nod. There are guest rooms galore here. 

Suddenly, the reason why it bothered him so much hit Liam like a ton of bricks. He didn’t want her to leave. And not just because he wanted her to remain at the palace so she’d be within walking distance but because he wanted her with him … in his wing … with their daughter … as a family. Together. 

Yes, Liam was the one who said he wanted to take things slow, and they were — as slow as two people with a history and connection like them could. But he was struck with the sudden awareness that everything they had done up to that point had been ass-backward. Nothing about them or their situation was conventional and it never had been. So, was the impulse of wanting her to stay with him instead of buying her own house really that far-fetched of an idea? No. 

But if she was so adamant about starting to look for her own place, perhaps she didn’t want the same thing he did or didn’t feel ready, at least, not yet. 

“So when are you planning to start looking?” Liam asked.

“Tomorrow,” Amara answered. His gaze snapped up to hers, not having expected it to be that soon, but he managed to keep his expression neutral. “I’m not expecting to find the one on the first day, but I think it’ll give me an idea of what I want to look for going forward.” 

As Liam nodded again, Amara held his gaze; she swore she could see a flash of something in his eyes, but he was quick to make it vanish. Before she could ask, commotion from the movie they’d been watching pulled their attention to the TV screen. 

A moment later, Liam looked back at her as he stroked his thumb across her knuckles; the movement pulled her gaze back to him, and a heartbeat later, he captured her lips in his. 

With that, the conversation ended. 

*******

The following morning, an SUV carrying Amara and Sophia — because Liam wouldn’t let them go anywhere without at least one guard — followed the realtor through the gates of a residential development situated on the outskirts of the capitol. A few moments later, they pulled into the driveway of a two-story home that had recently been listed. 

When they exited the vehicle, Amara smiled as Riley and Drake approached her. “Hey. Thanks for coming along.”

“I had nothing going on, and when I told this one—” Riley threw her thumb over her shoulder at Drake “— he insisted on coming to check the ‘fundamentals’,” she gestured with air quotes.

“You’ll look at the aesthetic, but there’s more to a house than just looking pretty,” Drake said. “That’s where I come in since Liam is stuck in meetings this morning. Although, I don’t know if he’d know what to look for either,” he snorted. 

Amara chuckled. “Well, I appreciate you coming along. You’re right, I don’t really know what to check for other than the basics. So I’ll take any help I can get.” 

“Are we ready?” the realtor smiled from the walkway to the front porch. 

“Yes,” Amara nodded but only managed to take a few steps before her attention turned to another vehicle pulling into the driveway. She turned, recognizing who it was before he even stepped out. 

When the door opened and Liam appeared, she gave him a curious smile. “What are you doing here?”

“I thought maybe you’d like another set of eyes,” Liam grinned as he approached them. “And I want to see the places this little one is potentially going to be living in,” he said as he took Sophia from her and tickled her belly. “So I rescheduled my meetings and cleared the rest of my day.”

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“I wanted to,” Liam smiled as he slipped his hand into hers and looked at the realtor.

“Your Majesty,” the man bowed nervously. 

“Just pretend I’m not here,” Liam said. 

The man offered a tense smile and nodded before gesturing for them to follow him inside. 

While Amara walked around with the realtor and Riley, Drake went off on his own to check what he deemed to be important while Liam gave himself and Sophia a tour. 

The house was nice. The first floor was an open-concept floor plan with the kitchen, living room, and dining room all flowing into each other. It appeared to have new wood floors throughout, fresh paint, and he was pretty sure he heard the realtor mention a new roof. 

The three bedrooms were located upstairs. Two were sizable with a Jack and Jill bathroom between them, and the master was massive with an impressive en-suite and walk-in closet. 

It was a pretty perfect house … but Liam didn’t want her to live there. 

Liam had cleared his schedule to tag along on her hunt that day. His goal? To point out everything he could find wrong with each viewing in hopes she’d realize that the palace already had everything she would need or want. Walking through this first home, he knew it was going to be a difficult task if the other viewings were anything like it. 

“Maybe Uncle Drake will find cracks in the foundation,” Liam mumbled to Sophia as they stepped out of the master bedroom and headed back downstairs. When he reached the first floor, he spotted Drake in the living room. “Well?” he questioned as he approached him. 

Drake nodded positively and Liam had to swallow down his disapproval. “It’s really nice. There were a couple of minor things that I noticed, but nothing that isn’t a quick and easy fix.” 

“Well, that sucks,” Liam mumbled under his breath.

“What was that?”

“I said that’s great.” 

“What did you think?”

“It’s … ok.” 

Drake gave him a look. “I know it’s not a palace …” 

“It’s not that,” Liam scoffed. “I just have some … concerns.”

“What concerns?” 

Liam whirled around at the sound of Amara’s voice, meeting her gaze with a small smile as she entered the living room with the realtor and Riley. “The house is … nice. Really nice. I’d be worried about the security, however.”

“It’s a gated community,” Drake said.

Shut up, Drake. “Yes, it is,” Liam nodded. “But the gate is accessed by a keycard, correct?” he looked at the realtor, who nodded in answer. “So there’s no one at the gate, which means anyone who wanted to try hard enough could get in undetected if they climbed over. With who Sophia is, and who you are to me … we know how relentless the press can be at times, and they’re just the tip of the iceberg of people we need to worry about. I just think somewhere where there is a security guard stationed at the gate would be better … safer.” 

It was a legitimate concern, even if he pointed it out for the wrong reason. Had he been on board with this whole idea, he’d have pointed it out regardless. 

“He does have a point,” Amara said as she looked at the realtor; Liam’s shoulders imperceptibly slumped in relief. “I’m sure he’s going to have a guard with us at all times, but having someone at the gate would make me more comfortable with Sophia.” 

“Noted,” the realtor nodded with a smile before looking at the tablet he’d been carrying around. “That knocks off three places from our list of viewings today, but there are two we’re scheduled to see that do have guarded gates.” 

Liam fought back a sigh. 

That was two more places he had to hope she found something wrong with or simply didn’t like. 

And it was only day one of looking.

*******

The following Friday, Amara headed toward Liam’s quarters, walking behind Sophia, who was toddling along the corridor but stopping to wave at every staff member who walked by. They were going to meet him for dinner, along with Drake, Riley, and Leo, who’d arrived a couple of hours ago.

Amara was thankful for Leo’s arrival because it gave her a day’s reprieve from house hunting, which she’d spent the entire week doing. She’d viewed 13 listings over the past week but hadn’t found one that was suitable. 

Suitable not to her standards … but to Liam’s. 

No matter what time Amara was scheduled to view a house, Liam made sure he was available to go with her. At first, she was thankful for it; she wanted his opinion and appreciated his willingness to help despite his busy schedule. But his opinions turned into what she could only describe as nitpicking, proving that his standards were much higher than hers. 

The suggestion Liam made at the first house about a guarded gate made perfect sense. Everything that came after that suggestion, however … 

The yards weren’t good enough for Sophia to play in, or there wasn’t enough space between the houses, or they were too close to the street for his liking. 

At one, the floorboards were “too creaky” which obviously meant that there was something structurally wrong.

Amara had a few listings lined up to look at tomorrow, and Liam said he would go with her, but she wasn’t getting her hopes up. She knew he only wanted what was best for Sophia, but at that point, she didn’t think it was going to be possible to find a home that he deemed worthy enough for his precious little princess. 

Once at Liam’s door, Amara opened it, allowing Sophia in before following her; they could hear laughter from the other room and Sophia walked curiously toward the sound. When they rounded the corner, Liam looked over from where he sat on the balcony and grinned as he playfully slapped the shoulder of the man sitting next to him before they both rose from their seats. 

“Dada!” Sophia gave a toothy grin as she reached for him. 

“Hi, princess,” Liam chuckled as he scooped her into his arms before looking at Amara. He leaned down to press a lingering kiss to her lips, and she softly sighed before he slowly drew back. “Hi,” he whispered, brushing his nose against hers. 

“Hi …” Amara let out a breath. “Sorry if we kept you waiting.”

“You didn’t,” Liam shook his head. “Leo was with Regina earlier. He just showed up here maybe 10 minutes ago.” 

“Am I interrupting?” a voice drawled.

Liam turned and stepped out of Amara’s line of vision, bringing Leo into view. When he met her gaze, she smiled politely yet warily; she was unsure of how exactly he viewed her after what she’d kept from his brother. 

“Leo, this is Amara,” Liam said. “Amara, my brother Leo.” 

“It’s nice to meet you.”

When he grinned, Amara’s shoulders loosened. “It’s nice to meet you, too.” 

“And this is Sophia.” Liam tickled her belly, eliciting a giggle from her. “Can you say hi to Uncle Leo?” She looked at Leo, staring for a moment before sinking deeper into Liam’s embrace and laying her head on his shoulder, hiding her eyes with his neck. 

Leo’s lip jutted. “Aw, don’t be scared of me.”

“I’d be terrified,” Drake snorted as he and Riley stepped inside to greet Amara.

Liam turned his head toward Sophia with a smile as he rubbed her back. “It’s ok.” 

Sophia shifted her head just enough for her eyes to peer at Leo, and he grinned as he began playing a game of peekaboo. After a few moments, a giggle erupted from her as she lifted her head, offering him her signature toothy grin. 

“There’s a smile,” Leo chuckled. “You want to come hang with Uncle Leo for a minute?” He raised his hands towards her. 

Sophia studied him carefully, and after another moment of hesitation, she went to him. They locked eyes and she scrunched her nose with another smile. “Hi,” she said shyly. 

Liam watched his brother’s brow furrow, and his eyes widened when he saw his eyes shine with tears. “Leo …”

“Well, shit,” Leo choked out. “I can’t believe you have one of these.” A laugh simultaneously barreled out of Drake and Liam as Leo turned his head and quickly wiped his eyes on his sleeve. 

“Got you wanting one now?” Drake chuckled.

“Way down the road, maybe,” Leo replied. “Now? Absolutely not. Fuck that.” His eyes widened as he looked at Sophia. “I mean … heck that.” 

“Fuck.”

Amara’s and Riley’s mouths dropped open at the word Sophia repeated as Liam leveled his brother with a glare. “I’m sorry!” Leo grimaced guiltily. “I’m not used to filtering!” 

Drake shook his head with a laugh. “Uncle Leo is here.” 

****

That night after dinner, Liam walked Amara and Sophia back to the north wing. Once he put Sophia to sleep, he stepped out of her room and headed for the main area; he spotted Amara in the kitchen, standing with her back to him as she put dishes away in a cabinet. 

A moment later, Amara’s breath quietly hitched when she felt his hands curl around her waist. “D-Did she go down?”

“Yeah,” Liam replied as he rested his chin on her shoulder. “She’s out like a light. Uncle Leo wore her out.” 

Amara smiled. “They seemed to form a quick bond.”

Liam turned his head so his lips brushed her ear. “I don’t think you’re understanding how much trouble that means for us.” 

Amara tried to suppress a shudder from his warm breath against her skin, but she knew she failed when Liam let out a soft chuckle at having caught it. She turned to face him, and he leaned against the counter, placing one hand on either side of her and caging her in. 

Liam slowly leaned in, his eyes dropping from hers and zeroing in on her lips before he captured them in his. His tongue swept against the seam of her lips, and she parted them in response, allowing him in. When he deepened the kiss, her hands curled around his neck as an imperceptible whimper escaped her, so soft he almost didn’t hear it, but when he did, something inside him roared to life. 

Gripping her waist, Liam lifted her onto the counter as he stepped between her legs and pulled her body flush against his. He slid a hand up her back and into her hair and he tugged, causing the kiss to break; his lips moved to her jaw then down the column of her neck as her hips instinctively arched against him with a gasp, the movement pulling a rumbled groan from his throat as he found her lips again. 

The kiss stretched on, pulling them both deeper into the moment until it broke at the sudden ping emitting from Liam’s pocket, alerting him to a message. He reluctantly drew back and his jaw tensed as he dipped his hand into his pocket to pull out his phone. 

“It’s Leo,” Liam sighed. “He wants to have a nightcap.” 

Liam’s eyes flickered back to her face and more desire unfurled and clawed at his insides at the sight of her: kiss-swollen lips, tousled hair from his hand being buried in it, and her blue-eyed gaze brimming with lust. 

“Ok.” Amara’s one-word response came out in a breathless whisper. 

Liam swallowed thickly as he stepped back and she slipped off the counter. He cleared his throat as he ran his fingers through his hair. “So, uh … 10 tomorrow morning, right?”

“Huh?” Amara looked up at him.

“The first house viewing?”

“Oh, uh …” Amara let out a breath. “Yeah. 10.”

Liam nodded before leaning down; he stopped a hairsbreadth from her lips, reminding himself not to get too caught up before he pressed a lingering kiss to her lips. He drew back a moment later and his hand squeezed hers. “Goodnight.”

“G’night.” 

*******

The following morning, Amara was standing in front of a two-story home in a gated — and guarded — community. It sat at the end of a long driveway surrounded by trees and had a large backyard with a wooden playset complete with swings and a slide. After touring the house with Liam, Drake, Riley, and Leo, who opted to tag along, it was determined not to have any creaky floorboards. 

“I just think that the stairs in the foyer … there’s too many.” 

Amara stiffened beside Liam. 

Drake dropped his head with a silent laugh as Riley fought back her own. They’d been with them at every house and they knew Liam had been coming up with excuses for each one, but they’d kept quiet about it. It was none of their business.

Leo snapped his gaze over to his brother. “What the fuck are you talking about?” 

“For Sophia,” Liam clarified as he continued to stare at the house to avoid making eye contact with him. “And they’re narrow … and wooden, so there’s no cushion if she falls.” 

Steven, the realtor, stood by his car and closed his eyes as he took in a calming breath. “On to the next then?” 

****

“The hedges aren’t trimmed or lit up.”

“Are you—” Leo cut himself off as he looked at his brother, wide-eyed. “You can’t be serious …”

“I am,” Liam said matter-of-factly. “The housing development, which she would have to pay a monthly fee to, is in charge of lawn maintenance and it looks like shit.”

Amara turned and walked toward the car without a word as a chuckling Drake and Riley trailed behind her.

“I think you’ve gone a little crazy in the head,” Leo scoffed. 

Steven slid back into his car and shut the door. 

****

“This is niiiice,” Leo said as he glanced around the kitchen of the next home; it was the last one for the day. 

“State-of-the-art appliances,” Drake said, smoothing his hand across the marble countertop. 

“Big rooms,” Riley grinned.

Liam looked around as he held Sophia. He’d walked around the outside and had been through every room and couldn’t find anything wrong with it. Nothing. He glanced down, scuffing his foot against the floor and his eyes landed on the bottle of grapefruit juice he’d carried in with him before they slowly slid to Sophia. He turned his back toward the others as he quietly unscrewed the cap. “Want a sip?” he whispered. 

Sophia eagerly leaned forward, not knowing what it was … or how bitter it was; honestly, Liam questioned why he drank it half the time. He tipped the bottle back, helping her to sip before pulling it away and screwing the lid back on. He turned back around just as her nose scrunched and her lips puckered. 

“Yuck.” 

Liam glanced at Sophia as everyone else turned toward the sound of her voice.

“Well, she hates it,” Liam shrugged before turning and striding out of the house without a glance back. “Way to come through in the clutch, princess,” he whispered through a laugh. 

****

That evening after having dinner, Amara went back to the north wing with Sophia alone, giving Liam time with Leo, who was leaving in the morning. 

Liam carried two glasses of scotch out onto the balcony and set one down in front of Leo before taking a seat next to him. “I’m really glad you got a chance to come visit,” he said before taking a sip of his drink. 

“Me too,” Leo nodded. “I’ll definitely plan to come back soon and more often. Gotta corrupt my niece and all.” He chuckled at the look Liam shot him. “So …” He paused, taking a sip of his drink. “When do you plan on asking Amara to move in with you?”

“What?” Liam asked, furrowing his brow. 

“Don’t play dumb with me, little brother.”

“I’m not playing—”

“You said the house had too many fucking stairs.”

“It did!”

“And what do you call the stairs in this place?” Leo tossed back. “The grand staircase alone has three times as many stairs, but those are ok … because they’re here.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Liam said casually. 

“You complained about hedges not being lit up.”

“Aesthetics matter.”

Leo snorted, shaking his head. “You’re not fooling anyone, except maybe Amara, who probably just thinks you have your child’s best interest in mind. She also probably thinks that you’re nitpicky as fuck with ridiculous standards.” 

Leo arched his brow in a challenge to tell him that he was wrong. He knew he couldn’t. “Fine,” Liam sighed. “I don’t want her to buy a house.”

“Because …?” Leo smirked.

Liam rolled his eyes as he took another sip of his drink. “Because I want them with me, here, in my quarters”

“See?” Leo chuckled. “Now was that so fucking hard?” 

“Yes, because I can’t say that to her. She’s looking for a house. If she wanted to stay, she’d say something.” 

“Would she?” Leo questioned. “After everything you told me about what happened after you learned the truth about Sophia, what Amara wants doesn’t really matter to her. And making assumptions about what you want doesn’t seem like something she’s going to do after what happened. You told me yourself that she’s been following your lead on everything. So if you haven’t come out and specifically told her that you don’t want her to leave, why would she believe otherwise? Not to mention the fact that you’ve made it a point to go look at all of the fucking houses with her, further making her believe that you’re on board with it.” 

Liam dropped his head back as he let out a breath. Yes, he knew that while Amara had been better since their talk in New York, she was still following his lead with everything, but he didn’t think about it possibly having an impact on her decision to want to house hunt. Thinking about it now, he hadn’t told her he didn’t want her to go and he hadn’t shown her either. 

There was still that possibility that Amara didn’t want to stay, however. Perhaps she wanted to find her own place, that she wasn’t ready for the same thing he was.

*******

The following morning after seeing Leo off at the airport, Liam stared out the window of the SUV as it pulled into a long, winding driveway. Amara had messaged him and asked if he could meet her to look at another house. 

When the SUV came to a stop, Liam’s brows furrowed when he saw Amara standing in a dirt-covered clearing. He instructed Bastien to stay in the vehicle before slipping out and making his way towards her.

“Hey,” Amara smiled as he approached.

“Hello.” Liam leaned down and kissed her cheek. “Where’s Soph?”

“Regina is watching her.” 

Liam nodded before glancing around. “I thought you asked me to meet you to look at another house?”

“I did … sort of.”

Glancing back at her, Liam offered an amused smile. “Is the house invisible?”

Amara chuckled. “No … this is just the location of where the house could be,” she gestured to the open clearing. 

Liam’s brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“I talked with the realtor about the possibility of building. This is an empty plot of land for sale … and I could have a house built to ensure it would have everything I want and everything you would be comfortable with.” 

“Oh …” Fuck. Liam cleared his throat as he looked around again. “I don’t … I don’t know if that’s the best path to take.”

Amara let out an exasperated sigh. “Why not?”

Liam blew out a breath. “I mean, it’s just that … I don’t think—”

“Liam … you’ve found something wrong with every house I’ve looked at. If I build, it can be to your standards … standards that I didn’t realize were so very high and specific until this process.”

“My standards are not high nor specific,” Liam scoffed.

“I beg to differ,” Amara quipped. 

“My standards are not high! I just don’t want you to leave!” The words tumbled from Liam’s mouth before he could stop them.  

Amara’s brows raised in surprise. “What?”

“I don’t want you to leave!” Liam repeated as he threw his arms up. “I don’t want you to buy a house. I want you to stay at the palace with me. If you’re going to move, I want you to move in with me. I want us to be together … as a family.” 

Letting out a breath, Amara stared at him. She didn’t think that was an option — at least, not at the moment — because he’d never brought it up. “Why didn’t you say anything before?”

“Because I didn’t know if you wanted the same. If getting a house is something you want, I didn’t want to stand in your way … which, it probably doesn’t seem like that now considering the ridiculous excuses I came up with …” He scuffed his foot against the dirt. “If it’s what you want, then I’m not going to stop you and I’ll have to deal with it. But if you’re looking because you think I want you to go or because you think you have to … that’s not the case.” He held her gaze, seeing her eyes glisten with tears in the sunlight peeking through the canopy of trees overhead. He took a step toward her and brushed his hand across her cheek. “This is my official offer. Stay with me, Amara. Move in with me.” 

Another breath escaped Amara before she leaned up and closed the small distance between them, pressing her lips to his. Liam’s arms wrapped tightly around her as he deepened the kiss. 

They drew back a moment later and Liam rested his forehead against hers with a hopeful smile. “Is that a yes?”

Amara tearfully chuckled. “Yes.” 

*******

Sitting on the sofa, Liam watched Amara move around the living area, picking up Sophia’s toys and placing them in their respective baskets after she’d gone to bed. 

“You can do that later.”

“I’ll just get it done now.”

Liam chuckled with a shake of his head as he removed his tie. Amara and Sophia had moved in a month ago, and he’d learned very quickly how much of a neat freak she was. He’d always known she’d kept things tidy, but this was on a different level. 

As she walked by him with her hands full of stuffed animals, Liam reached up, and she yelped when he pulled her down; her one knee landed beside his leg on the cushion, and he pulled her other leg over so she was straddling his lap. 

Liam held her gaze as he took the stuffed animals from her arms and tossed them back on the floor. “Later,” he grumbled before pulling her down and capturing her lips in his.

Despite having lived together and sleeping in the same bed for the last month, they had yet to cross any lines. Something would come up or interrupt every time. They played it off as best they could but were both beginning to feel more than a little frustrated. 

But tonight … 

Liam’s hands slid beneath the hem of Amara’s shirt and settled on the bare skin of her waist, and he smiled into the kiss when he felt her shudder under his touch. He urged her forward, causing her body to arch into him, and when he felt her hips press down against his, he groaned and deepened the kiss. 

A soft moan escaped Amara when he pressed her down against him again; she could feel just how much his desire matched her own. “Liam,” she gasped against his lips.

“I love when you say my name like that.” His voice came out like gravel. “Like the slightest touch from me will make you come undone.” 

Amara let out another whimper of longing as her fingers began fumbling against the buttons of his shirt until it draped open, baring his muscled torso. Her hands slid against the taut skin of his chest to his abs—

“Mama.” 

Liam and Amara froze at the sound of Sophia’s voice coming through the monitor speaker. 

“Dada,” she whined again a moment later. 

Amara leaned back, staring at Liam; they were both flushed and breathing heavily. 

“Mama,” she cried. 

Amara offered a rueful grin before she slid off his lap and headed toward Sophia’s room. 

Liam dropped his head back against the sofa and rubbed his hands over his face in exasperation. It’d been so long since they were last together before everything happened. And while he didn’t know how much longer he’d be able to last, it wasn’t something he wanted to have to rush out of worry of interruption either. His hands fell away from his face as an idea struck, and a moment later he had his phone in hand and pressed to his ear. 

“Hey.”

“Hey,” Liam replied. “I need a really big favor …” 

***************************************

Perma Tags (if you’d like to be added or removed for this story, please let me know): @zaffrenotes @cocomaxley @emichelle @sweetest-marbear @indiacater @gibbles82 @the-soot-sprite @esmckenzie @dcbbw @burnsoslow @deb-1106 @bbrandy2002 @charlotteg234 @neotericthemis @foreverethereal123 @choiceskatie @sirbeepsalot @gnatbrain @openheart12 @sincerelyella @superharriet @queenrileyrose @aestheticartsx @kingliam2019 @indiana-jr @bascmve01 @rainbowsinthestorm @emkay512 @marshmallowsaremyfavorite @forallthatitsworth @walker7519 @iaminlovewithtrr @amandablink @mainstreetreader @mom2000aggie @princessleac1 @21-wishes @appleone @tessa-liam @pixelatedpassion @malblk21 @lovingchoices14 @nestledonthaveone @forthebrokenheartedthings @nomadics-stuff @differenttyphoonwerewolf

#the royal romance #trr #choices the royal romance #choices trr #liam rys #king liam rys #liam x oc #king liam #trr liam #trr liam x oc #choices liam x oc #king liam x oc #trr fanfic #trr fanfiction #trr fan fic #trr fandom #trr au #trr au fanfic #cfwc fics of the week

[ultimatemilvesbracket]

THE MILVENING HAS BEGUN

That's 114 contenders! Amazing job everyone!

we got 323 submissions and labored over every single one until approximately 2am, which is why this bracket looks so fucking incomprehensible. (shoutout to tumblr user asparagoos for creating The Milves Rubric and user pastramis, who plays fantasy football and knows brackets.)

anyway, full match-ups are below the cut. starting tonight (3/30) we'll start with uhh the upper left-hand chunk today, then make our merry way down the list three times a day until the first elimination round ends. the top scoring milves will not appear until the second elimination round, aka when this bracket is legible.

milf lovers grab your therapist's number!

ROUND 2 / BRACKET 1

Regina Mills (Once Upon a Time) vs. Marge Simpson (The Simpsons)

Queen Clarisse Renaldi of Genovia (The Princess Diaries 1 & 2) vs. Olivia Crain (The Haunting of Hill House)

Barbara Howard (Abbott Elementary) vs. Ambessa Medarda (Arcane)

Helena "HG" Wells (Warehouse 13) vs. Taissa Turner (Yellowjackets)

ROUND 2 / BRACKET 2

Catelyn Tully Stark (A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones) vs. The Black Fairy (Once Upon a Time)

Penelope (Greek Mythology, The Odyssey) vs. Siobhan Sadler (Orphan Black)

Xenomorph Queen (Alien Cinematic Universe) vs. Goldie O'Gilt)

Bella Goth (The Sims) vs. Jean Milburn (Sex Education)

ROUND 2 / BRACKET 3

Cersei Lannister (A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones) vs. Valka (How to Train Your Dragon 2)

Queen Calanthe (The Witcher Netflix) vs. Nancy Botwin (Weeds)

ROUND 1 / BRACKET 1

Marge Simpson (The Simpsons) vs. Ella Montgomery (Pretty Little Liars) WINNER MARGE

Queen Clarisse Renaldi (The Princess Diaries) vs. Peggy Bundy (Married With Children) WINNER CLARISSE

Sarah Jane Smith (Doctor Who, Sarah Jane Adventures) vs. Olivia Crain (The Haunting of Hill House) WINNER OLIVIA CRAIN

Barbara Howard (Abbott Elementary) vs. Stacy's Mom (Fountains of Wayne) WINNER BARBARA

Ambessa Medarda (Arcane) vs. Jacqueline Carlisle (The Bold Type) WINNER AMBESSA MEDARDA

Helena "HG" Wells (Warehouse 13) vs. Flemeth (Dragon Age) WINNER HG

Taissa Turner (Yellowjackets) vs. Janet Van Dyne (Antman and the Wasp) WINNER TAISSA

ROUND 1 / BRACKET 2

Patty Hewes (Damages) vs. The Black Fairy (Once Upon a Time) WINNER THE BLACK FAIRY

Milah (Once Upon a Time) vs. Penelope (The Odyssey) WINNER PENELOPE

Siobhan Sadler (Orphan Black) vs. Norma Bates (Bates Motel) WINNER SIOBHAN

Gerri Kellman (Succession) vs. Xenomorph Mom (Alien Franchise) WINNER XENOMILF

Alex Blake (Criminal Minds) vs. Goldie O'Gilt (Ducktales 2017) WINNER GOLDIE

Bernie Wolfe (Holby City) vs. Bella Goth (The Sims) WINNER BELLA

Elizabeth Jennings (The Americans) vs. Jean Milburn (Sex Education) WINNER JEAN

ROUND 1 / BRACKET 3

Valka (How to Train Your Dragon 3) vs. Ana Servín (Madre Solo hay Dos) WINNER VALKA

Matriarch Benezia (Mass Effect) vs. Queen Calanthe (The Witcher Netflix) WINNER CALANTHE

Julie Cooper (The OC) vs. Nancy Botwin (Weeds) WINNER NANCY

ROUND 1 / BRACKET 4

Ana Amari (Overwatch) vs. Aunt May (Spider-Man MCU) WINNER AUNT MAY

Joyce Byers (Stranger Things) vs. Queen Ramonda (Black Panther) WINNER JOYCE

Admiral Kathryn Janeway (Star Trek: Voyager) vs. Nalini Vishwakumar (Never Have I Ever) WINNER JANEWAY

ROUND 1 / BRACKET 5

Carol Newman (The Santa Clauses) vs. Bette Porter (The L Word) WINNER BETTE

Addison Montgomery (Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice) vs. Sabine Cheng (Miraculous Ladybug) WINNER ADDISON

Laura Roslin (Battlestar Galactica) vs. Mrs. Brown (Paddington 1 and 2) WINNER LAURA ROSLIN

ROUND 1 / BRACKET 6

Yennefer of Vengerberg (The Witcher 3) vs. Carminha (Avenida Brasil) WINNER YENNEFER

Camila Noceda (The Owl House) vs. Sarah Alder (Motherland: Fort Salem) WINNER CAMILA

Wynne (Dragon Age) vs. Melissa McCall (Teen Wolf) WINNER MELISSA

ROUND 1 / BRACKET 7

Mon Mothma (Star Wars) vs. Carol Peletier (The Walking Dead)

Helen Parr (The Incredibles) vs. Seven of Nine (Star Trek: Picard)

Abigail Pent (The Locked Tomb) vs. Medea (Greek Mythology/Euripedes)

ROUND 1 / BRACKET 8

Queen Elinor (Disney's Brave) vs. Caroline McKenzie-Dawson (Last Tango in Halifax)

Evelyn Wang (Everything Everywhere All At Once) vs. Takhisis (Dragonlance)

Annalise Keating (How To Get Away With Murder) vs. Maureen Robinson (Lost in Space)

ROUND 1 / BRACKET 9

Gemma Teller (Sons of Anarchy) vs. Celeste Wright (Big Little Lies)

The Fairy Godmother (Shrek 2) vs. The Smart House (Disney's Smart House)

Marcia Roy (Succession) vs. Martha Rodgers (Castle)

ROUND 1 / BRACKET 10

Pyrrha Dve (The Locked Tomb) vs. Danielle Rousseau (Lost)

Olivia Benson (Law and Order: SVU) vs. Linda Flynn-Fletcher (Phineas and Ferb)

Morticia Addams (The Addams Family) vs. Maeve Millay (Westworld)

ROUND 1 / BRACKET 11

Melanie Cavill (Snowpiercer) vs. DCI Amy Silva (Vigil)

Beverly Crusher (Star Trek: The Next Generation) vs. Lucille Bluth (Arrested Development)

Abby Bartlett (The West Wing) vs. Laura de Mille (Doom Patrol)

ROUND 1 / BRACKET 12

Alicia Florrick (The Good Wife) vs. Ellie Torres (Cougartown)

Zelda Spellman (The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina) vs. Lisa Lisa (Jojo's Bizarre Adventures)

Tsunade (Naruto) vs. Jules Cobb (Cougartown)

ROUND 1 / BRACKET 13

Katherine Hastings (American Auto) vs. Esme Cullen (Twilight Series)

Abby Griffin (The 100) vs. Letty Ortiz (The Fast and the Furious 9)

Jocasta (Greek Mythology) vs. Joss Carter (Person of Interest)

ROUND 1 / BRACKET 14

Julia Sugarbaker (Designing Women) vs. Eve Fletcher (Mrs. Fletcher)

Chrisjen Avasarala (The Expanse) vs. Marion Lavorre (Critical Role)

Tiffany Valentine (Chucky) vs. Jodie Mills (Supernatural)

#ultimate milves bracket #tumblr bracket #tumblr polls #swan queen #once upon a time #the locked tomb #abott elementary #the chilling adventures of sabrina #naruto #mcu #succesion #star trek #star wars #motherland fort salem #eeaao #mass effect #stranger things #dragon age #the l word #overwatch #holby city #svu #snowpiercer

[justlittleguysims]

Simstober 2023 - Clowning Around

I'm Always Down to Clown

Costume: @regina-raven [x], @bluecravingcc [x], spiderfires - SFS [x] Hair: @simstrouble [x] Makeup: @pralinesims [x][x], @nagishim [x] Poses: floweerchamber - TSR [x]

I haven't done a formal introduction for this OC yet with a full character background or anything, but there is no other character of mine that screams clown (affectionate) more than my girl, Melanie "Anne with an E" fucking Cooley (also an affectionate canon nickname for her.)

She's a bit of an erratic character, but that's honestly something she puts on to keep unwanted people at a healthy distance, since she's such a tiny, baby-faced young adult. You've got to pass the vibe check with her, there are no exceptions here. The amount of creeps she has to deal with on a daily basis as an aspiring comedian is wild, so rather than shrink herself down to evade unwanted attention, she tends to match the energy of whoever is making advances towards her and then some, often out creeping them at their own game in the process and scaring them off.

Just imagine a 4'10" (147.32 cm) girl giving some drunk bozo the Kubrick stare in the middle of a Waffle House parking lot, at 3 in the morning, all while using her 15 years of ballet lessons to contort her body wildly, as she laughs manically at the top of her lungs.

Yup... that's just an average Tuesday night for Mel. Pennywise, eat your heart out!

Side note, she and Frankie used to date.

First || Previous || Next || Last

#simstober 2023 #simstober challenge #justlittleguy posting #show us your sims #ts4 screenshots #ts4 simblr #simblr #fci3: melanie #my ocs #my sims #my stories #project: fci3

[daisy-thetoxic]

Light down low

Lana Parrilla x fem Oc

Warning- age gap, dumb con, degrading kink, praising kink, over stimulation, minor DNI

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Ivy was a new main character added into Once upon a time. She played Rapunzel, in the end of season Three did she join, and Season four she became a main character. She didn’t have a love interest, she was more of a bad ass who was sarcastic and had her own lizard.

Rapunzel was known to get shipped with Regina dispute Robin being her one true love. Some say it’s the chemistry between the actresses or that Rapunzel never judged Regina ok other opinion and always believe innocent until proven guilty. Often taking Regina’s side in most scenarios, or both of them.

Ivy ran her fingers through her hair as she got ready for comic con. Her lips their natural rosy color as her bright green eyes stuck out against her dark and thick eyelashes. She had got a wolf cut, her black curly hair framing her face perfectly as she worse a Lacey corset with a leather jacket over it and black jeans.

She was Hispanic, which shocked people when she got casted for Rapunzel but her character had brought popularity and the directors loved it.

“Ivy Gomez!” The announcer calls out, making the crowd scream as she walks out, tailing with the silver ring sim her fingers, which matched her silver necklaces she was wearing.

“Lana Parrilla!” He calls out next, making Ivy instantly look towards the entrance as she sat in her chair, Emile sitting next to her.

Lana was wearing something very similar to her, the jeans a different color and the make up less extravagant, although she still looked beautiful.

Ivy quickly looked away as she noticed Lana meeting her gaze. There were close on set, always cuddling with each other in one of their trailers, always touching, even Lana’s husband would joke about it with the rest of the cast.

Ivy wasn’t very close to them as she was to Lana, she was short and one asides, never talking much, always sipping at some whine or higher than a kite. Although you could tell if she was tipsy or high as she would be stuck to Lana’s side, not talking but just snuggling and watching everyone carefully.

Ivy wasn’t paying attention as he called the rest of the casts names, only focusing on playing with Lana’s hand which as situated on her thigh. She was taking the rings off of her fingers and putting it onto Lana’s.

“Ivy.” Lana whispered, getting her attention. The raven beauty looked up, noticing everyone looking at her. “Oh sorry.” She apologized to the person with the microphone. Feeling bad that she was in her daze again and not paying attention.

“It’s okay.” The girls assures her. “What’s as your question, sweetheart?” Ivy asks her, getting some cheers from the audience but she didn’t know what it was about.

“I was asking who would you sleep, marry and kill with, Emma, Ruby or Regina.” The girl asks, completely throwing Ivy completely off guard. Her eye brows furrowing “oh wow. I was not expecting that.” She breathed out. Slipping her hand out of Lana’s as she debated.

“Well here goes my career.” Ivy laughs, embarrassed slightly. “I would sleep with…. Ruby. She’s definitely my type.” Ivy says, making Meghan cheer as she said her character.

“I would kill Emma, only because I have very different options on whose Henry mother actually is.” She clarifies, wanting no rumors or drama to happen.

“And marry Regina.” She lists lastly, getting a uproar of cheers from the audience. She didn’t clarify why, hell she almost said ‘I mean, look at Lana, who wouldn’t want to marry her.’ But she restrained herself.

“Livy is so real.” Cheers before passing off the mic, making Ivy look around confused. “What’s Livy?” She asks, not understanding the ship name at all.

Some of the fans giggle, only increasing her confusion. By a lot. “What’s Livy?” Ivy asks again, only getting more giggles until the girl speaks up.

“Yours and Lana’s ship name.” Making Ivy’s widen in surprise and her mouth was doing an awkward smile. “I- there’s a ship name? Hold up, I’m googling this.” Ivy pulls out her phone, she wasn’t sure if that was allowed but she was curious.

When she clicked on images after googling ‘Livy once upon a time.’ As she scrolled further she found a lot more inappropriate images can’t sing her and Lana, some were disturbing as someone out in a lot of effort photo shop. There was particular one, it was Lana below what’s as suppose to be her, ‘Ivy’ had her hands trailing down Lana nude stomach while her other hand was aggressively groping her boob. Ivy fav went into one dog shock, surprise, wtf is this and what the hell.

People started laughing at her reaction, she quickly turned to Lana, showing her the image. Lana too stared at it in shock and surprise. “You guys love detail, huh.” Ivy comment, her and Lana looking at it in bewilderment. “Honestly, if I weren’t me I would have thought I did that.” Ivy says, turning to Lana with a cheeky grin. “We could.” “Ivy, no.” Lana tells her, laughing as Ivy pouts. “Way to let a girl down, Parrilla.” Ivy pouts, crossing her arms.

“How many of you do ship Livy?” She asks them, genuinely curious. The cast all look at her, haven’t seen her as oht of her she’ll as she was. Many… scratch that, 95% of the crowd cheers making her smile.

She turns to Lana with a cheeky grin, showing her another one of the photos. “Hey, atleast they made you boobs look nice. Fred’s a lucky guy.” She grins, receiving a slap on the back of her head from Lana. “Your dumb.” She insults her green eyed co-star.

“And in love, according to this article.” Ivy remarks, pointing to her phone. Lana snatches her phone from her, putting it between her thighs, thinking it would stop Ivy.

Ivy huffs, leaning back into her chair as she no longer had her phone. “You’re a child.” Lana teases her, making Ivy pout more. “If I’m a child, that makes your pedophile, and I’ll be damned if I’m being lectured by a pedophile, Lana.” She mocks Peter Griffin, making Lana squint her eyes as the audience laughs, getting the reference.

“Are you serious.” Lana raises an eyebrow at her. “No I’m Ivy, Sirius died, I made you watch Harry Potter Lana.” Ivy jokes more, her and the crowd laugh. “I’m done with you.” Lana says, scooting her chair away from Ivy. There was nothing blocking the audience from seeing under the table, so they know where Ivy phone is and they always watch as Ivy grabs the bottom of Lana’s chair, pulling it right next to her, this time there was no space and the women were shoulders to shoulders. Unknown to the black haired beauty’s, many do the fans took recording and photos of the action.

Ivy smiles at her, it meeting her eyes as she koala hugs Lana from the side. “You love me.” Lana rolls her eyes but patting her hand, leaning her head on Ivy’s. “Unfortunately.” She mumbles making Ivy gasp on offense. “Fed, you can have her back.” Ivy comment making Lana slap her thigh.

Fred didn’t like Ivy, or how close she was to his wife. He was always at Lana’s interviews and in the audience at her comic cons. Lana had told Ivy that he didn’t like her, and Ivy off turned it into jokes. She knew Fred was jealous and she thrives on it.

••••••••••••••

Posting part two latter 🥰



[maliagf]

heartless | 08. ignorance was bliss

pairing: henry mills x oc a/n: season one is over now wtf. honestly can’t wait to get started on season two. it will probably be longer lol. hope you enjoy and please reblog and tell me what you thought! warnings: henry’s dying in this chapter y’all get it. wordcount: 1399

<<prev || masterlist || next>>

“There’s no pupil response,” said Dr. Whale as he shined a flashlight into Henry’s eyes. “What happened? Did he fall? Hit his head?”

  Max held tight onto Henry’s hand, only barely listening to the adults’ conversation. It was all useless; magic had caused this.

  Emma held up the bag with the poisoned apple turnover. “He ate this. I think it’s poisoned.”

  Dr. Whale checked his throat. “His airway’s clear. Did he vomit? Any convulsing or disorientation–”

  “He took a bite of this and then he just collapsed!” shouted Emma. “So run the tests for arsenic or bleach or Drano or whatever could’ve done this to him!”

  “It’s none of those fucking things, you idiot!” Max’s heart was beating against her chest, her head was pounding, and tears blurred her vision. Henry was dying — she couldn’t remember ever being this panicked, but right then, her anger overpowered her anxiety. “It’s a magic poison! No hospital test is gonna help find it!”

  Emma’s eyes didn’t even leave Dr. Whale. “Just ignore her.”

  The man looked between them before following Emma’s order. “The boy is showing no symptoms that would suggest neurotoxin. So whatever’s going on, this is not the culprit.”

  “But what else could it be?” Emma asked, and Max’s anger rose to an even higher degree, her face twisting, now matching the color of Emma’s jacket.

  “It’s a fucking sleeping curse, like I’ve been telling you!”

  “Please, Max, will you stop with that?” Emma finally looked at her. “Now is not the time for your fantasies!”

  “No, it is the time because this is not a fantasy! Henry’s in a fucking sleeping curse because of you and you still won’t listen!” She didn’t care that what she said was hurting Emma’s feelings. Every word was true — she knew it, and Emma needed to know it, too. If Henry and August were too nice to give it to her as it was, then the task had to be up to her. “God, it’s unbelievable how stupid you adults are! You really refuse to believe in anything magical or unconventional, even when it’s right in front of your nose because you’re just that narrow-minded!”

  Emma started crying. “You can’t blame this on me!”

  “YES, I CAN BLAME THIS ON YOU, BECAUSE IT’S YOUR FAULT! IF YOU HAD JUST BELIEVED IN HENRY NONE OF THIS WOULD’VE HAPPENED!” Max stormed over to Henry’s bag. “WHY IS IT,” she turned it over and spilled the contents onto another hospital bed, “SO FUCKING HARD,” she picked up the storybook. “TO JUST,” she stormed back, shoving the book into Emma’s hands, “BELIEVE?”

  She’d expected Emma to keep resisting, but she turned completely quiet. She didn’t say a word, just stared at the storybook — as if transfixed.

  Max’s eyes darted between her face and the book. “Oh my God, did that work?”

  Emma finally looked back up at her, and in that moment, she knew.

  Emma believed.

  “Where’s my son?” Regina’s voice suddenly carried through the room, and they exchanged a look.

  “Go on,” Max said. “I’ll stay with him.”

  Emma grabbed Regina, dragging her out of the room, and Max went back to Henry’s side, holding his hand tight.

–––

Max had moved to the waiting room. She was giving Regina some alone time with her son before she went off with Emma to execute their plan to get a hold of some magic. Max was leaning against the wall, arms crossed, biting her lip. She kept repeating to herself that their plan would work and that Henry would survive this. Like if she just kept saying it, that would somehow make it come true.

  But it still wasn’t the only thing preoccupying her mind.

  The door slid open after a while, and Regina stepped back out, looking about as bad as Max felt.

  She cleared her throat. “Regina?”

  The woman turned at the call of her name, eyebrows raising in Max’s direction. “Yes?” she asked. Her voice sounded different than usual. There was no anger in it, no hostility. There was nothing but regret, exhaustion, and even the smallest hint of kindness. It hadn’t exactly surprised Max, but this change did feel strange.

  “Um…” she pulled a strand of hair behind her ear. “I was wondering… if you maybe knew anything about who I was? You know, back there.”

  Regina shook her head. “No, I don’t know. I didn’t even know you existed until you came into Henry’s life.”

  “Oh,” Max took a deep trembling breath. “Okay.”

  Regina remained in her place. She stared at her with a look in her eyes that Max had only seen one time before: that day Henry had gotten lost in the mines.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

–––

“And, yes, she was beyond hope, beyond saving. This was her end. When Prince Charming saw his beloved Snow White in her glass coffin, he knew all that was left was to say goodbye…” Max trailed off slightly as she read the end of the chapter, having picked up the storybook as soon as she’d returned to Henry’s bedside. If it was Henry or herself she was trying to comfort this way, she didn’t know.

  She cleared her throat and continued, “He had to give her one last kiss. And when he did, true love proved more powerful than any curse. A pulse of pure love shuddered out and engulfed the land, waking up Snow White… and bringing light to the darkness.”

  Max wiped her cheeks as a fresh stream of tears escaped her eyes. She closed the book with shaking hands, putting it aside, and watched over Henry as the sound of his heart monitor quietly beeped in the background. He was so still. So lifeless.

  She had seen this kind of thing before, when Prince Charming was in his coma, but Henry somehow looked much worse. Perhaps it was because she was so used to seeing him so full of life, so full of energy. Perhaps it was because Henry had always been what brought light to her darkness. So seeing that light go out…

  “Henry,” she whispered, taking a deep wobbly breath, enveloping her hand over his own, “you can’t leave, alright? You just can’t. You can’t leave me alone, Henry.” The tears were flooding down her face now. “You know that you’re–” a loud sob escaped her, cutting off her words, “that I don’t have anyone– that I don’t have anything except for you! So you can’t leave me. You just can’t–”

  A sudden beeping sound cut Max off. Her head whipped to the side, eyes locking on the heart monitor. It was making noise like crazy. “What is that?” she breathed. “What is– DR. WHALE!”

–––

Everything after that was a blur, but one thing ran clear in her mind: Henry was gone.

  Max spent either two minutes or two hours with her head buried in Henry’s hospital bed, clutching the sheets and sobbing into the fabric.

  Emma had walked into the room and she took her place on the other side of the boy they both loved so much. Max didn’t wanna watch her goodbye.

  Suddenly, she felt an incredibly warm and pure power surge through her, but just as fast as it came, it disappeared. She was left feeling the very opposite as the bliss of ignorance washed away. Max sat up with heavy breaths, not even glancing at Henry as an entirely new kind of tears gathered in the corner of her eyes.

  She was only vaguely aware of what was happening around her, but she could piece together enough. Henry was back. The curse was broken. She could remember now.

  People were talking around her, but she didn’t hear a word. She could think of nothing else as a lifetime of memories played repeatedly in her head.

  “Are you okay?”

  Max blinked, taken out of her trance, when Henry spoke to her. She looked at him and her eyes suddenly widened. “Oh my God. P– he’s… you’re…”

  The weight of it all was too much for her, and she stumbled back. She would’ve hit the ground if a nurse hadn’t been there to catch her. A glass of water was put into her hands as she desperately tried to process the wave of information that had been given back to her.

  The worst part was, this wasn’t even the worst day of Max’s life.

(not my gif)

taglist: @valentine-melody​

heartless taglist: @jochase​

#once upon a time #ouat #rewrite #fanfiction #once upon a time rewrite #ouat rewrite #once upon a time fanfiction #ouat fanfiction #henry mills #henry mills x oc #henry mills x reader #henry mills imagine #henry mills imagines #henry mills fluff #henry mills angst #jared gilmore

[piraticalarchive]

hey mr. pirate, did you know that i love you with my whole entire heart? no but really, mate, i absolutely adore you. it's such an honor to be able to call you friend, thank you for simply existing. - love the potted ivy in your window x

#WHDJFJFH THE WAY I LOVE YOU THOUGH !!! #im so sad bc it wasnt in the window and im fucking lazy and thats not actually ivy but !!! #anyways thank you for being the best person ever and supporting me and my oc #and making your matching oc regina #i'm sorry i made this super nice message into a crack answer bc i love u so much #save ; #large image // #just in case lmao #ALSO THE WAY THERE ARE NO PICS OF COLIN WITH PLANTS

[thebaileybugle]

Don't Deserve You

(Unedited)

Pairing: Adonis Wilson (Oc) x fem!reader

Warning(s): Implied sex, nothing else other than Adonis being a great husband

A/N: A filler in the new starting series “In Unity”

Y/F/D = Your favorite drink

Y/F/C = Your favorite color

Adonis was so very bored with the conversation he was in. He was forcefully pushed by Hotch to conversate with his fellow Section Chiefs, which were just self-absorbed, woman-degrading pricks. I know what you’re thinking, Is Adonis like them? No… his mother would kill him if he spoke one word against a woman. But these men were obviously taught differently.

“...then one of my old Agents cursed out the victim… I knew straight away that I had to set her straight, I mean the female Agents always get so emotional.” Section Chief Donald Roberts, classified womanizer, and beater, and if Adonis could, the old bastard would be down a few six feet.

But unfortunately, he can’t

Completely ignoring the crude conversation, Adonis’ gaze shifted across the room until it landed on you, sitting at the bar and drinking Y/F/D. Hairstyle framing your magnificent face as always, gorgeous Y/F/C dress complementing your curves flawlessly. Make-up was done just right, not too much, not too little, perfect. The man couldn’t help but unsubtly drink in your appearance, your beauty utterly shocking him to his core, quite literally…

You were feeling very uncomfortable as this was your first FBI charity event. All these agents dressed to the nines, champagne, speeches, fake smiles, toxic bosses… ugh, you didn’t like it one bit, but Adonis seemed to be in his element talking to all of his fellow chiefs and the Directors.

You were about to order another glass of Y/F/D when you sensed someone staring at you, so you scanned around the room until you matched the gaze of piercing brown eyes. Comfort was what you felt instantly when you met his gaze.

Your husband looked at you in the most flustering way. Eyes beaming in adoration and love, his lips held a boyish smile that made you let out a chuckle. The man was about ten seconds from scooping you into his arms and capturing your lips in a kiss that would leave you breathless, right in front of everyone in the ballroom. Why not? Why not show off his Earth-shakingly stunning wife to people who wish they could have a woman like you.

An intelligent, talented, strong, gorgeous, skilled, independent woman. No one could compete.

You gave him a small smile and he almost fell to his knees right then and there. Instead, he fixed his tie and stride over to you with his usual confident and powerful strides. When I say women and men were jealous of you, Mrs. Wilson, I mean their looks could kill.

“How are you feeling, Angel? I know this isn’t exactly your scene.”

"I’m fine." You put on a fake smile not wanting to ruin his night, he could tell. You cursed Sherlock under your breath when you saw his warm smile fall into a slight frown.

"Baby, if you want to, we can leave. We can have much more fun at home. A nice glass of wine with my special New York strip and roasted potatoes. Maybe I could have dessert..."

"Oh, and what about me, Mr. Wilson." You leaned into each other, his mouth coming to your ear.

"You are the desert, my sweet, sweet Y/N." With that you groaned lightly, and he pulled back, though kept his face close to yours. His hands griped the counter on either side of you while yours went to his neck to play with the short hairs that rested there.

"I just don’t want to ruin your night Donny." You pout and he shakes his head.

"But you won’t. A night with you alone? That sounds like the best idea of fun and ecstasy I could ever ask for." It felt as if you were swept off of your feet, but with just words.

“I don’t deserve you.” You say in a whisper. Adonis chuckled and took your cheek in his warm palm.

“You’re wrong Mia Regina, I don’t deserve you.”

#fluff #adonis wilson x fem!reader #criminal minds #criminal minds au #criminal minds fluff #x fem!reader #Oc x fem!reader #male oc x fem!reader

[iheartchv]

Okay first of all sorry if I'm sending this twice but I think my tumblr isn't working

Second of all (that phrase exists?) I know I'm being here too much but I just find out you make match-ups and I was wondering if I could request one...

If you're okay with it then that's my oc's info

Her name is Serena, she's 17 and loves pink. She has a short curly pink hair and her outfits look like this

She's half Brazilian half Chinese, but he looks more like her mother (that is brazilian) she moved to NY with her mother after she divorced from Serena's father. Serena is kinda shy mainly because she didn't had the chance to actually learn how to speak English properly so she's 24/7 apologizing for her English, like "hello sorry for bad English"

She can looks kinda distant when you first met her, but she's just nervous that you'll make fun of her, so she stays quiet until she's 100% sure she can trust you

Serena acts a little like those girls from teen movies from the 2000's like Regina George (from Mean Girls) but it's not like she's a bad person, she's just really into those teen movies so she tries to be more like the cool girls, if you're friends with her she'll stars talking about Hanna Montana or iCarly and will recommend series like Pretty Little Liars or make you watch High School Musical. If she really likes you she'll ask you if you want to watch Pixar movies with her. Her favorites include Rio, Toy Story and Luca

She's reluctant to share her likes because she doesn't want to be seen as a joke or a "child" so she can starts pretending she likes the same things that the person she's talking to

Like "oh do you like Teen Wolf? Me too!" (She hates Teen Wolf) so she needs people to reassure her that she's not pathetic. If she doesn't like someone, she can't treat anyone badly so she just fake a smile and act like popular teen girls pretending they liked your hair but in her mind she thinks you look like shit, but she would never say things like that loudly. But if he hates someone (which is rare) she'll either just ignore the person or starts being passive aggressive, but when the person goes away Serena feels bad for her behavior and considers apologizing to them

Serena is easily a crybaby, it's too easy making her cry, everything can make serena cry, movies, books, series, a tv commercial, the way someone acts with her or the way someone talks to her. She's trying to be less dramatic but if someone acts differently with her she'll starts wondering if she did or said something wrong, and that makes her cry

She's also super kind and funny and tries her best to make everyone around her feel happy and loved, sometimes she'll bake cookies for her friends or simply compliments the little things about them, like their smile or the way they laugh. Serena is an artist, she loves drawing and knitting stuff, sometimes she can knits hats or plushies for her or her friends, she can't see a white wall without painting it all, so she's always expressing her feelings with art, when she's sad or happy she'll stars drawing or knitting

I already said it, but her favorite color is pink, her entire room is pink! Almost all her clothes are pink and it's easy to give Serena a gift, if it's pink she'll love it. Actually she loves every gift she receives. She always forgets people's birthdays (and her own) so she asks about their birthdays all the time so she doesn't forget.

She plays the piano and guitar, but she's really shy about it, but if she likes someone very much she'll play a song for them. She has 20k followers on tiktok and instagram so she's always with her cellphone in hands, try taking it from her and she'll be mad at you. She's kinda of a cellphone and coca cola addicted so it's hard seeing her without her phone and a coke can in hands

Sometimes she feels sad because she misses her old home and her family she left behind, so when she's sad she won't feel like talking to people, because when she's feeling down she'll act rude with others

She loves sharing her childhood memories with his significant other, she'll show them a pic of her when she was a child and tell stories that happened to her, obviously she's super happy when them shows to be interested in her and her country

She'll try to teach her significant other things in portugese and she thinks it's adorable when they try to repeat what she says

Has depression but will never let someone find out, but there's days she's more depressed and doesn't feel like acting happy, in these days she just wants a hug and someone saying everything will be fine

Fun facts: she has a frog named Julio Cesar and a cat named Galadriel. She can't say "world" without sounding like "word" and she's embarrassed about in. She's obsessed with Harry Styles and always listens to his songs while saying "isn't he cute?"

Again sorry if I'm sending this twice (it's tumblr's fault)

Sure thing😊💕

I pair her with... Michelangelo🧡

Mikey was probably the first to notice her

He called dibs on her

When he introduced himself he tried to approach her as if she was a deer

He had tried being his extroverted self around her but noticed how quiet she was

However eventually he got her to come out her shell (haha)

The both of them became inseparable

Mikey wanted to make her feel like she wasnt being judged or made fun of

Because thats the way he feels and treats everyone

The Golden Rule, you know, treat everyone the way you want to be treated?

All of your interests and hobbies are the same, if not mostly, so he'll be uo for doing everything with her

Art, Pixar/Disney movies, music, he loves it all

But loves her the most💖💖💖💖💖💖

Mikey will do anything to make her happy

Even if it means giving her some time alone

Hes so affectionate

He will hold her, hug her, give her snuggles and kisses

He's such a sweetheart, a cinnamon roll

If he could, he'd give her the whole world

Nothing but love coming from this turtle boi

"My angel, I love you to the moon and back"🐢🧡💕👩

#tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt bayverse #bayverse #tmnt 2016 #tmnt 2014 #tmnt 2003 #tmnt 2007 #tmnt 2012 #tmnt 2018 #rottmnt #rise of the teeneage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #mikey #michelangelo #ask #request #matchup #match up

[juniaships]

The girl in green (movie sonic x oc drabble)

Or Sonic's observation of Green Hill's newest resident. Tw for bullying and subtle misogynoir.

Every afternoon Sonic visited the plaza. He loved watching the citizens go by their day. Today was surprisingly empty, as there was no one except maybe a few sparse passerby. Then he saw a girl dressed in green clothes walking by with a book in her hand. She took a seat on the bench of the fountain. While her clothes were drabby - long skirt and sweater - she wore bright turquoise glasses. Her braids were thick and tied at the ends with large beads of a similar hue. Sonic was mesmerized by the girl. She had moved to town very recently to a worn house near the edge of the forest where he often ran around in. She barely left her house except to go to school.

The Girl In Green was ignorant to the alien observing her. Instead she gazed at her rippling reflection and started to move her hand in a circular motion.

"Hey girlfriend watcha doin'?"

The Girl in Green quickly drew her hand back as another girl arrived with two more girls in tow.

Sonic frowned. Regina George. That wasn't her name for sure, but he watched enough movies to recognize one when he see one. In fact he often overheard the other students referring to the blonde as that. Except whereas Regina wore pink and had red hair in the move, this version had pale blonde hair in a bob cut and wore light-blue sweatpants and jacket. One of her henchmen wore a matching set in dark blue and had shorter brown hair; the other wore purple and long curly red hair.

"We haven't talked yet," said the blonde in a sweetly disgusting tone. The Girl in Green looked up and pursed her lips before saying:

"I'm sorry?"

Sonic continued to watch with disdain as the girls sat down with the Girl in Green. She looked very uncomfortable.

"I like your hair," the blonde remarked as she stroked one of the Green Girl's braid. The other girls snickered. The Girl in Green drew back with a squirm.

"What book you're reading?" Asked the ginger in purple.

"Maya Angelou. Perhaps you should try it. Maybe it'll give you something to do besides bothering me," said the girl in green.

The other girls became flustered. Purple Girl's face started to match her hair.

"Excuse me? All I wanted was to have conversation!"

The Green Girl sighed. "Listen I don't know any of you but I see enough of you to know that you are...what's the word? A bully. High Class bullies."

"Aww is that supposed to hurt our feelings." Blue Regina pouted in fake hurt. Shockingly she lunged for the Green Girl's book.

"Hey stop!" She held tight to her novel however the blonde managed to rip the book out her arms.

The sight of it made Sonic's blood boil. He wanted to go down there and give Regina George a piece of his mind. But that would mean exposing his existence. So he held himself back and watched horrified as the girls continued their bullying before finally throwing Green Girl's book into the fountain. As the poor girl tried to reach for her book one of the girls pushed her into the fountain as well. The harpies laughed as if they were at a comedy club and walked away.

Noelani tasted salt and chlorine and realized she was crying. Sullenly she grabbed the soggy remnants of her book and squeezed the water out her clothes as best she can. No matter how hard she tried to stand up to herself things always go wrong and the bullies always win. She thought she escaped from that city, but it seemed it always followed her no matter where she went.

Sonic's heart broke for the girl. He wanted to kick himself in the arse for not intervening. Maybe he could give her one of his books to make her feel better. Sure they were just comic books but it was the most he could do. Silently he left the plaza and went back to his shelter to get his present.

By the time Noelani got back home she was exhausted. Her eyes were stinging red from crying and the chlorine. People had star ed at her as she walked through town like a prisoner on death row. Her clothes has dried a little - at least she didn't have to worry about washing them. She snorted bitterly. Some life this was! Shitty home, shitty neighbors shitty everything! Maybe she could find some work and hopefully save enough to move far away from here.

Her aunt and uncle weren't home. Even with the extra money they still had to work long hours at their new jobs. While she appreciated them there was a sense of loneliness and anger. They were always struggling. The bills always high. The food always cheap. She despised feeling like a victim but after what happened today she afforded to lash out a little. Once she got to that raggedy house she noticed something on the porch. She picked it up. It was a copy of The Adventures of Tintin along with a note. She read and and looked around. Who left this here? She thought it was weird that she get a - well it was worn but still - a new book after she lost her other one. Was it fate?

Nah. She'd rather have money to buy herself a whole library. She shrugged and took the book inside to throw it in the bin.

From the safety of the forest sonic watched as the girl picked up his gift and read his note. He hoped she liked it.

He had no idea that it would end up in the recycling just as she promised it would.

I know I know Noelani is being a jackass but you know what? People are flawed and trust me Noelani is getting her positive development soon. Even though she's an OC don't expect her to be infallible and super sweet 24/7. She's going to have negative moments. Even though she is Sonic's love interest I want her to have a personality. Besides Having her undergo an arc of her own is far more compelling than 'shallow love interest. Will be A full story published on my Wattpad GritsandBrits.

#sonic the hedgehog #movie sonic #drabble #oc x canon #fanfiction #tw bullying

[zaffrenotes]

[TRR] Kairos

Kairos - Part 12

Pairing: Liam x Riley, Liam x OC Series Rating/Warnings: 18+; language; series will include ns*w 🍋 scenes Chapter Rating/Warnings: G Author’s Note: * All main characters belong to Pixelberry, I’m just borrowing them * Kairos (καιρός) is a word in Greek that translates to “the right time” or “the right moment to act” * Liam’s wife asks about “the one that got away” one night over dinner, and Liam recounts a relationship from his past * This is my submission for @wackydrabbles​​ Prompt 89: This isn't what I had in mind, but okay. * Author’s Note 2: * I apologize if this chapter feels choppy; I haven't updated this story since January, and writing is H A R D, but I want to finish this AU. I know how it ends, I just have to *gestures at the air* get there. * Word Count: 1708

Catch up with previous chapters here

Taglist (let me know if you’d like to be added or removed for this series): @ao719 @blackcatkita @debramcg1106 @ofpixelsandscribbles @callmeellabella @smalltalk88 @aestheticartsx @bbrandy2002 @burnsoslow @choiceskatie @darley1101 @dcbbw @gardeningourmet @iplaydrake @liamxs-world @rainbowsinthestorm @riseandshinelittleblossom @superharriet @texaskitten30 @theroyalheirshadowhunter @the-soot-sprite // @alyssalauren @clairexoxo100 @cordonianroyalty @cordonian-literature @gkittylove99 @gnatbrain @jared2612 @kingliam2019 @mom2000aggie @pink-diamond13 @princessleac1 @queenjilian @sfb123 @txemrn @yourmajesty09

The evening carried on, and it was nearly impossible for Liam to pull himself away from one conversation to the next. Most of the new suitors vied for his attention to make a good impression, various nobles edged their way into conversations to discuss official business, and his friends made every effort to steal him away for short reprieves. He was dancing when he caught a flash of Max’s dress near the edge of the dance floor.

Brief glimpses and glances of a link to Liam’s almost-love was all The Fates seemed to grant for the duration of the ball, despite his best efforts to carve out a moment with Max. The irony wasn’t lost on him; having found a connection to Elia after years had passed, without a way to speak with her sister. His hand warmed against his dancing partner’s palm as they waltzed with other couples.

“What’s troubling you tonight? Besides the obvious farce of this whole ordeal.” A pair of cherry red lips curled into a sympathetic grin, and Liam nodded in silent agreement. “Something other than counting steps is running through your mind.”

Liam adjusted his grip on Olivia’s hand as he led her across the floor, quickly scanning the crowd for another glimpse of Max. “I require the assistance of a dear friend,” he answered quietly, twirling her in a circle. “Someone who knows of secret passages in the palace to remain undetected, who can also speak with one of the new ladies at court.”

One of Olivia’s brows arched in Liam’s direction. “Has someone managed to catch your eye already?”

“Not the way you think,” he replied. “It’s a long story, and right now I’m grasping at straws, but it’s…something.” As Liam twirled his childhood friend in another circle, the expression in his eyes conveyed the seriousness of his request.

Olivia’s back tensed when she looked up to meet her friend’s gaze, though they moved effortlessly through the song. “What do you need me to do, Li?”

“There’s a young woman here, wearing a peacock ballgown. Her name is Max.”

“There’s some irony,” Olivia giggled. “Maxwell’s probably talking her ear off over her dress alone.”

“I haven’t been able to speak with her since we were introduced.”

“Tell me when and where, I’ll make sure you converse with her before morning.”

Liam shook his head at the suggestion. “That’s not the kind of conversation I need to have, Liv. I do need to speak with her though. It could mean cancelling the rest of the social season before it’s had a chance to begin, in a good way.”

Olivia arched her brow at Liam again, as the music began to come to an end. “I’m going to need a full story about this very soon, if she’s a means of ending the season.”

Liam let out an anxious laugh. “Soon enough, of course. Get her as close as possible to my office without being seen.” He looked over Olivia’s shoulder to see Bastien by the ballroom doors, nodding at him just before Bastien said something to another member of the Kings Guard. “Enjoy the rest of the ball, I’ve got to go over details for tomorrow’s events. Shouldn’t take longer than an hour.”

--

Nearly an hour after Liam departed the ballroom, he sighed with relief to enjoy the silence in his office once Regina and her team of event planners were satisfied with preparations for the garden party. He poured himself a bit of scotch in a glass as a nightcap, glancing at the clock on the wall. Most of the guests had ventured home while he went over checklists with Regina, minus the suitors and their sponsors that would live at the palace for the next several weeks.

Another weary sigh slipped past Liam’s lips as he returned to the ornate desk in the office, and he removed the cufflinks Madeleine had given to him as a gift. He rolled up his sleeves, trying to ignore the soft ticking of the clock, wondering if Olivia had managed to get a hold of Max. Princess Maria Amelita Xamira Basilio, who had a sister that went by the name Elia. There were too many similarities in her siblings names and the fact that Max looked so similar in appearance to Elia.

He’d opened the laptop on the desk and was about to type Elia’s real name into the search window, when there was a knock at the door. Liam rushed out of his seat to answer, loudly whispering a name when he turned the knob. “Olivia? Is that you?” He was surprised to see Max in the hallway by herself. “Your Highness, please, come in,” he said, stepping aside to let Max pass. “Did anyone see you?”

Max bowed her head to Liam as she stepped into his office. “No, Lady Olivia led me through a number of passages from my room, and distracted the very tall, silver-haired guard down the hall.”

Liam chuckled softly. “That would be Bastien. He’s always had a bit of a soft spot for Olivia, ever since we were children.” He closed the door shut before walking towards the liquor cabinet. “May I offer you something to drink?”

“No, thank you,” she replied, taking a seat in one of the small couches. “To what do I owe this clandestine invitation?”

Liam sat down in the matching sofa across from Max, clasping his hands together as he carefully chose what to say next. “Max, you and I are both aware of the reason you’re here, participating in the social season. Under other circumstances, I’m certain you would have caught my eye, just as you did earlier this evening.”

Max chewed a tiny spot of her inner cheek. “There’s a ‘but’, isn’t there?”

“The reason you caught my eye was because you bear a striking resemblance to someone I met several years ago, before I met and married my first wife, Riley. Someone who, until tonight, I thought was lost to me.”

“Are you saying I’ve got a secret twin you’ve already met? This isn’t what I had in mind, but okay.” She grinned conspiratorially at him. “Who’s this doppelgänger that’s stuck with you?”

Liam sucked in a breath before answering. “As it were, it’s your sister. Elia.”

Max blinked at him silently, her eyes welling up with glossy tears at the mention of her name. “You…you knew Elia? When? When did you see her? Have you heard from her?” The questions tumbled out all at once, as Max tried to compose herself.

He picked up a gilded box of tissues from a side table, offering it to her. Max pulled two from the box, dabbing at the corners of her eyes, waiting for a response. “It’s been a number of years,” he began. “She was vacationing in Greece, just before she was supposed to return to university to study law.”

Max stopped dabbing at her tears to look up and study Liam’s face. “Oh my god, it’s you. You’re the guy.”

Liam’s brows pinched together. “She mentioned me?”

“Very briefly,” she responded. “Only that she met someone that gave her a reason to laugh every day, and seemed to understand what she – what we,” she paused, motioning to herself, “were going through, being…high profile?”

“That’s one way to describe it,” Liam chuckled softly. “She never said outright that she was a princess, but after we parted ways, many of the things we shared in our conversations made sense.” He looked up to see a puzzled expression on Max’s face. “Her fluency in languages, the way she could tell stories about growing up in vivid detail while overlooking things like ‘I grew up in a palace’ or ‘my parents were especially strict with me and my siblings’…”

“Oh by the way, that’s because they’re the king and queen?” Max scoffed lightly, shaking her head.

“I tried to look for her, for quite some time after that trip,” Liam added. “Only…my efforts were in vain, as the names she used were all nicknames. Even her own name wasn’t fully hers. Elia de Leon.”

Max sniffled and the puzzled expression returned to her face. “De Leon? That’s…our great-grandmother’s name.”

“I suppose that makes sense as well, now that I’m familiar with your family name. Had I searched for Elia Basilio, I might have found out about the royal connection, not that it would’ve changed my opinion of her.” Liam ran a hand across his face, his jawline and chin already rough with stubble. “You haven’t heard from her since that summer either? Anyone in your family?”

“No,” Max answered. “When her personal guard called the morning he was supposed to escort her home, he told my parents the apartment was empty…that she must have snuck away the night before.”

“But I was with her until morning.”

“What?”

“I…” Liam hesitated, taking in a breath. “I had dinner with Elia the night before she was supposed to leave. We talked long into the night, and I told her I was a prince. I even offered to let her stay with me here to take more time and consider alternative options to create some distance with your parents.”

“Because they wanted to marry her off, right?”

“Correct,” Liam nodded. “She only told me it was for a political alliance, to put your family name in a positive light after Mariela’s marriage to someone caused trouble.”

Max sighed with indignation. “That guy, ugh. That’s a story for another evening.” She began to wring the tissue between her hands. “But you saw Elia the next morning?”

“Yes, in fact I was the one that slipped out while she was still sleeping, long after dawn. I stopped for a coffee in the café below where she’d been staying, on my way to return home as well, and I…” Liam paused, recalling the man in the café that morning, remembering the other patron. “You said she had a personal security guard assigned to her?”

“Beni…Benigno, yes,” Max replied.

“Do you have a photo of him?”

“I can do better than that,” Max answered, pulling her phone from the pocket of her cardigan. “He’s here as my security and chaperone for the duration of my stay.”

#the royal romance fanfic #the royal romance fanfiction #trr fanfic #trr fanfiction #the royal romance au #trr au #trr liam x oc #king liam x oc #wacky drabbles #wackydrabbles #playchoices fanfic #choices fanfiction #zaffrenotes writes

[homeformyheart]

hi, if you’re still taking angst prompts, how about 4. “Get out of here! Just leave!” for whichever of your twc pairings inspires you?

thank you ginger for this one! (and for suggesting adina.) this one definitely got away from me and turned into a full fic because of the scenario I wanted to write xD.

author’s note: thank you for the request, @gingerbreton! writing in present tense was definitely weird, but hopefully the vibe i was going for still works. i was definitely feeling the angst in this one – an AU (to my AU i guess) where my detective turns but their immortal spouse dies protecting them. grab some tissues, turn off that sad music, and enjoy! copyright: all characters, except the oc detective, are owned by mishka jenkins @seraphinitegames. series/pairing: the wayhaven chronicles – adam du mortain x f!detective (regina bishop) rating/warnings: 16+; major character death, grief, descriptions of physical pain and violence/fighting based on/prompt: OTP angst prompts // 4. “Get out of here! Just leave!” (in bold) and inspired partly by “dancing with your ghost” by sasha sloan word count: ~2.3k summary: an all-or-nothing stand-off between the agency against the rogues and trappers threatens regina’s turning process.

forever is just a word

it burns.

every fiber and tendon in her body overflows with hissing lava.

melting the pathways as it flows through her veins and igniting everything it touches.

veins attempting to fuse her mutated blood with searing venom.

a scream rips from her throat and reverberates against the walls.

at least, regina thinks it’s her pain echoing around her.

she can’t tell over the thundering in her eardrums and the sound of seams ripping inside her body.

everything is a foggy haze except for the tears streaming down her cheeks.

her mind wonders if she realizes she is being torn apart and burned alive.

except her skin is icy to the touch.

not that anyone is around to know that.

the fire continues to roil and spread, inching up and across her body until it molds around her heart.

and pierces it.

her fingers fly to her chest to dig her nails into the center, breaking skin and leaving red-stained crescent moons dotted below her collarbone.

and then the cold creeps in, following the path burned before it and pricking her body with thousands of icy needles.

stitching the seams and tears slowly and painfully back together.

before the pain finally recedes and all that is left is silence.

and regina opens her eyes.

the fluorescent lighting burns white-hot.

the slow beeping of a computer is shrieking in her ears.

she’s alive.

meanwhile, in the thick of the forest near the facility

adam stands at attention, hands clasped behind his back, surveying the situation with a scrutinizing eye.

ever the soldier.

except his eyes are shaking with fear, dark pupils almost edging out the green.

he knows this could be it.

their last stand.

his gaze sweeps to his right and then to his left, shoulders tensing as he counts, assesses, and runs through the odds and tactics in his head.

“just hand the detective over and no one has to get hurt,” a sinister voice rings loudly across the clearing from deep within the mass of humans and rogue supernaturals.

traitors. in every sense, philosophical and physical.

outnumbering every unit, tactical agent, and combat-ready member – supernatural or not – that the agency could pull together at the last minute.

“we know you’ve turned her. this is your last warning. hand her over, now.”

the air hums and prickles with electricity from hundreds of charged prods and batons, as the rogue supernaturals ease into their offensive stances.

a few find their way into the air and into the trees.

adam bristles but feels similar sensations vibrating in the air from his team and unit alpha on either side of him. at least he’s not alone.

he frowns briefly at the thought that regina may wake up alone, when (and he refuses to think otherwise) she survives.

“what’s going on? adam?”

he whirls around so fast he’s sure lesedi and nate heard the air around him crack. he runs over and wraps his arm around her waist to hold her steady, and she briefly closes her eyes to ease the dizziness and sudden sensitivity to everything around her.

“you survived,” he breathes, relief evident in his voice and every line in his face.

she smiles and tiptoes to kiss him softly before pulling back. “i promised i’d come back to you.”

adam brings her into his chest and buries his face in her neck, closing his eyes and trying to fill his heart with memories of her heartbeat, scent, and body against his.

“you must go,” he says hoarsely before pulling away. “this is going to be a fight unlike anything any of us have ever seen. you have to be safe.”

regina steps back and surveys the clearing, eyes widening at the stand-off. she knows everyone can see her. every eye, every weapon, every formation, is trained on and directed at her.

her gaze meets farah’s teary-eyed and relieved one, morgan’s piercing and confident one, and nate’s sympathetic and fearful one to her left before her body tenses at the determined and soft looks from unit alpha to her right.

“this is insane. we’re incredibly outnumbered, let me help,” she says once her voice seems to return to her. “adam, i’m not human anymore.”

he pulls back to meet her gaze and her breath catches at the soft green of his eyes. “you have only just turned. it is too dangerous and i will not risk losing you.”

“i’m not leaving you. i’m not leaving the team,” she argues, the intensity in her voice matching the defiant look in her eyes. “you know i can fight.”

he takes a few steps away and begins to pace, fists clenched. he knows that at any moment the rogues can attack now that regina is exposed. his muscles bulge with tension and she briefly wonders at how his shirt is still intact. adam can feel the fear clawing up his spine, across his chest, and catching in his throat before he whirls around to face her.

“you do not understand how dangerous this is. get out of here! just leave!”

he moves in real-time until he is just a hair’s breadth away, canines protruding and eyes flashing angrily. regina blinks, a little jolted by the fact that his speed is no longer too fast for her to see. he grabs her arms and starts pushing her back toward the facility.

“it will all be for nothing if they get to you!”

regina almost recoils at the volume of his voice and the tormented fear in his eyes. she twists out of his grasp and grabs his wrists, pushing them down and away from her body.

“i can’t lose you,” she yells back.

he breaks – she can see it – his eyes fold and brows scrunch in anguish and fear.

she reaches out to touch his cheek. he leans into the warmth of her touch, eyes fluttering half-closed before he pulls away.

“farah,” he says, pulling away from her touch. regina looks over and sees elidor following close behind.

“don’t do this adam. don’t leave me,” she pleads, voice cracking and tears welling in her eyes.

“i will always fight my way back to you, my love,” he murmurs, leaning down to briefly press his lips to hers. she leans in to deepen the kiss, but he’s already pulling away. “be safe. please.”

gentle hands on her arms hold her back and her eyes widen in fear. elidor wraps his arms tightly around her, holding her firmly against his chest and no amount of thrashing or kicking can loosen his hold.

“no, i can fight. i’m a vampire now, too. let me go! let me help,” her cries are desperate and loud and adam can hear every word echo in his ears.

“i am sorry, detective. it’s too dangerous, even for newly turned vampires. you don’t have control over your physical abilities yet and that makes you an easy target,” elidor says, half-dragging, half-carrying her back toward the facility with farah following closely.

“farah, please, don’t do this. you know that i need to be out there with you all,” regina begs as adam’s retreating back gets smaller.

“this is beyond you, babe. none of us want to lose you. please trust us,” farah murmurs, gently stroking regina’s cheek with her thumb.

the two vampires hold each other’s gaze, an entire conversation silently passing between them, before farah gives her a brief nod and runs back to join the team.

regina’s knees buckle and elidor lets her fall to the ground, arms still wrapped around her shoulders. she can’t shake the feeling in her gut that everything is about to go sideways.

with loud growls and roars from every direction, the rogues attack first in a wave of shimmery magic and blurring movements. grunts and shouts from the agents fill the air, but it’s clear the agency is not nearly as prepared. commanding agents across units are shouting conflicting orders to their teams and the trappers make quick work of separating agents from each other in a second wave.

even in the frenzied mess of bodies, her vampire sight zeroes in on adam, fighting back-to-back with farah against a dozen trappers. nate and morgan are barely holding their own against a horde of demons and their prod-wielding handlers. electricity thrums in the air, snapping erratically at both sides.

with every group that falls, three more seem to step into their place. regina pales as she realizes that the rogues outmatch them in every way. they move in quick, synchronized waves and aren’t holding back. her loved ones are vulnerable and the fight is quickly converting the peaceful clearing in which she spent many moments with unit bravo into a bloody battlefield.

but then she sees unit alpha and agent fuller move with ungodly speed and with a series of quick, coordinated attacks, lay waste to an entire wave of trappers and rogues. they move to aid unit bravo, easily slotting into formation as though the units always fight side-by-side.

but their opponents still outnumber them.

and the world slows to a painful crawl.

supernatural creatures of all sizes begin to corner each agent and cut them off from each other. regina holds her breath as she watches tamiko and maaka get carried away by a winged creature, tane and lesedi chasing and leaping quickly after them while fending off half a dozen trappers.

she’s lost sight of agent fuller. which means unit bravo is alone again.

a pack of werewolves growl and snap at the vampires and her stomach lurches as adam positions himself in front of his team, angling his body so he’s directly in front of farah. the wolves shift and draw themselves to their full height, easily towering over nate and morgan.

and then they attack. she can barely tell apart the team’s growls from the pack’s, the wolves outnumbering the vampires five-to-one. and given that sunlight is still filtering through the trees, she can tell they’re not healing fast enough to keep up with the barrage of teeth biting everywhere. she keeps scanning the mass of bodies while holding her breath, trying to keep tabs on the team – and then she freezes.

a group of wolves advance on farah as she steps backwards towards where nate and morgan are fending off their own group until the three of them are surrounded. and despite the worry clawing in her throat for their safety, her eyes are frantically searching for the person she gave up everything for.

he’s fighting his way through a stream of fallen bodies towards his team. blood and scorch marks mar his pale skin, and his steps are heavy as his boots crunch through flesh and fur and bone.

a scream rips its way out of her throat at the sight of supernaturals advancing towards him, accompanied by a half-dozen trappers with electric prods crackling in his direction.

“adam, behind you!”

and then she’s running – not even registering that she broke out of elidor’s grasp – and the world blurs around her as she speeds along.

fire rips through her body, but this time, the pain spurs her forward and her vision tunnels, centering around adam’s fallen form.

rage and fear intertwine in her chest and expand outward into her limbs and an unfamiliar, feral cry leaves her throat as she shoves her body through the blockade, grabbing anyone attempting to stop her and tossing their bodies aside. she screams at the electric prods digging into her stomach as arms wrap around her limbs, but she bites down with her canines until the blood-curdling screams filling the air are not her own.

she tears the flesh of her assailants apart and they fall back, howling in pain and running in fear, their weapons dropping to the ground. her own body is a blur as she attacks each of the remaining trappers, pulling their arms out of their sockets and shoving them back deep into the forest, the resulting sound of wood splintering already fading in her mind.

the remaining trappers panic and abandon their attack, tripping over strewn bodies as the rest of the units push the rogues back as well. nate and morgan are sitting on the ground, breathing heavily as their bodies begin to heal but farah is limping towards her.

regina doesn’t notice. the adrenaline is already receding, and she collapses to the ground, the smell of blood and sweat filling her nose and leaving a metallic taste in her mouth. she crawls over to adam’s still body, tears streaming down her face as she realizes he’s not breathing.

“no, no, no, no, no!”

she throws herself over his body and lays her ear to his chest and fingers against his wrist, breaking down into hysterical sobs when she can’t hear anything. and she knows she should be able to – she can still hear the damn chirping of birds in the distance and the anxious thrum of the team’s heartbeats.

“no, you gave me your word. please,” regina screams in-between sobs, pulling adam into her lap and cradling his head against her chest. “you said you’d come back to me.”

a pair of arms wrap around her waist and hold her as she cries, murmuring things she can’t register into her hair. she barely registers nate and morgan lifting adam’s lifeless body, forcing her to stand and walk alongside him. her grip around adam’s shoulders only tightens and she pulls away from farah’s attempt to hold her up.

she doesn’t see the three of them exchange sorrowful looks before they move slowly towards the facility. tears continue to stream down regina’s face onto the hand that is clutching adam’s shirt as though it might make him wake up and reprimand her for ruining another one.

“you promised me forever,” she whispers, the rest of her sobs strangling in her throat.

from these OTP angst prompts (always accepting)

* * * * * taglist: @kelseaaa; @kat-tia801; @anotherbeingsworld; @crackerdumortain; @gloynporslen; @sosolenoo; @alyssalauren; @fhauvilles; @wayhavenots; @gingerbreton; @takemyopenheart; @pearlsandsteel; @writer-ish;

#twc #the wayhaven chronicles #wayhaven #twc fic #twc fanfic #twc fanfiction #adam du mortain #twc adam #adam x regina #adam du mortain x regina bishop #adam x detective #adam du mortain x detective #adam du mortain x detective regina bishop #my writing #my prompt fill #twc prompt fills #gingerbreton #my detective #not choices

[nightsoulsworld]

Hello I would like a match-up please? So I requested a match-up of the same oc but in another blog but I really only have one oc and I'd like to know who other people think she would match with :)

Well her name is Serena and she looks like this (except her hair is 100% pink)

Serena is 17, she's half Asian and half Brazilian (but she looks more like her mother). She moved from Brazil to NY with her mother after their parents divorced, she can look cold at first but it's just that she never had the chance to actually learn how to speak English properly so she chooses to talk less so people won't make fun of her and she's 24/7 apologizing for her "bad English" like "hello sorry for bad English"

Serena's personality is like one of those popular teenagers girls from that movies from the 2000's, like Regina George from Mean Girls, and it's not that she's a mean girl, she's just really into that kind of movie and she really tries to be more like the cool girls so she won't get bullied lol

Her favorite color is pink, like her whole room is pink and almost all of her clothes are pink. She's an artist and loves drawing and knitting stuff, whenever she's happy or sad she'll draw or knit to express her feelings or just to pass the time, she can make special plushies and paints for her friends because she loves making gifts to people she loves

She's very into teenager stuff like makeup and gossip magazines, she knows all the celebrities dramas and has watched all the disney series like Jessie or Shake It Up. She also loves musicals and obviously was addicted to high school Musical and Camp Rock, she can make her significant other watch all of it with her because she loves sharing her special likes with people she cares about

She's very kind and polite even with people she doesn't like, mainly because she's to coward to confront people when they mistreat her, like you can punch her in the face and she won't complain, she hates confronts and thinks she's too weak. She tries really to make new friends but it's hard for her since she's so shy and quiet, but mostly because she's insecure about her English skills and she thinks people will make fun of her

She starts pretending she likes the same things that the person she's talking to. "Omg do you like Teen Wolf? Me too!" (She hates Teen Wolf). She thinks that if she opens up the others will call her childish or dumb so she hides her personality until she's 100% sure she can trust them

Sometimes she feels sad because she misses her old home and her family she left behind. She loves sharing things about her country and will be more than happy to teach portuguese to her significant other. Serena has depression and there are days she doesn't feel like pretending she's okay so she just keeps in her room until she feels "better". She would never judge anybody by their appearance (since she doesn't think she's a pretty girl)

Hello, dear ♥️. Thank you so much for your time and ask. Also thank you for tagging me at your post, I really appreciates that you like my blog. I hope you will like it. If you don't like it, message me anytime 💜💜

Sorry for any mistakes, English is not my first language

Here we go

🤔 I think I'd paired you with...🤔

Mikey

This ball of sunshine would fall hard for you

He liked you more and more the more he spent with you

Your kindness was that what drew him to you

When you two first met, you were so shy and quiet but after a while you open up; he was so happy and glad

Mkey will never laugh at you and he will ask ( force ) Donnie to help you with that you need help

Sometimes he's jealous about how you two are close but he knows that you will not cheat

He would have the longest converstations with you about Art and your favorite things

He finds it very cute when you doing your things; he feels calm when he watch you draw or knit

When you paint him for the first time, he break down into tears of happiness and he told you thank you non-stop

He's so happy when you give him something: he see your hard work in it and he really appreciates that from you

He will lend you his comics and he loves to watch with you some Disney movies and musicals

He loves your style and your bedroom is so cute to him

He likes to spend time with you at your place

When you're with him, you don't need to pretend anything, Mikey accept you and he loves you because of who you are

Mikey will cheer you up when you're sad and he's all ears when you need somebody to talk about your feelings or problems

I hope you like your match 💛💛💛

#buc3t4lOv3r #nightsoulsworld #tmnt 2016 #tmnt leonardo #tmnt 2014/ 2016 #tmnt donnie #tmnt raphael #tmnt+matchup #tmnt match up #tmnt bayverse #tmnt donatello #tmnt #tmnt matchup #tmnt matchups #tmnt 2014/2016 #tmnt 2014 headcanons #tmnt 2014/ 2016 match up

[jamkookies]

𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐀𝐧𝐚. 𝐒𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐲, 𝐉𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐤. ♡

𝑺𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒌𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒔 𝒎𝒂𝒚 𝒃𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒌 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒃𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒔 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑨𝒏𝒏𝒂'𝒔 𝒈𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒂 𝒇𝒖𝒄𝒌 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒖𝒑 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍 𝒃𝒂𝒅. 𝑬𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝑱𝒐𝒋𝒐. 𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒉𝒆, 𝒂𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒓𝒆𝒙𝒊𝒄 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍, 𝒔𝒖𝒑𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒅𝒐 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝑱𝒖𝒏𝒈𝒌𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒎𝒑𝒔 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆? 𝑸𝒖𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚.

Pairing: OC X Barista!Jungkook

Contains: humor, mutual pining, fluff, cuddles, vine references, hurt and comfort, sexual tension.

Warnings: swear words, angst, dark themes, anorexia, mentions of self-harm, starvation, binge eating.

Word count: 30k+ (don’t ask)

A/N: I spent almost a year working on this, during which time I went on and off from writing. It’s finally here and my excitement is through the roof. Special thanks to @keopitae​ for sharing her thoughts on the fic and for her continuous support. Eli out.

____________________________

"My name is Jojo and I suffer from an eating disorder."

The words echo across the small bathroom walls, crashing against the mirror I so passionately detested. Punching the mirror as hard as I can, blossoming cracks scatter in every direction. The pain in my right knuckle screams, blood already oozing out of the peeled skin.

Fucking cringe. What was all this for? Was there a camera up my ass for acting all dramatic and shit?

"Good job, Jojo, you just ruined another one." I sigh and let the running water wash the blood off my hand. This was the third time this month and honestly, I think I deserved a slap across the face for the amount of money I was spending on fucking mirrors.

Heh.

That made it sound like mirror prostitution.

I grab a bandage from the stack I kept on the drawers and wrap it around my injury. Talking to your reflection first thing in the morning wasn't exactly the best way to start off the day, but it had been a mere attempt at self-therapy. Well, since I can't go to a real one, anyway. Too bad it didn't work.

 I sigh one more time for good measure and pull a hoodie over my head.

 Ah yes, a hoodie. The ultimate piece of clothing. 

Feeling cold? Wear a hoodie. Your bra is cutting your blood circulation and you can't keep it on anymore? Wear a hoodie. You feel self-conscious of your body and try to hide every curve and shape? Hoodie is your best friend.

I put on a pair of sweats to complete the look because let's be real;  everyone loves a baggy outfit. Not even sparing a glance at the mirror anymore, I unplug the charger from my phone's ass and sit down for a second to scroll through some memes.

Yup.

That's exactly what a person does after losing their job.But come on, I mean who fires someone just because they went to take a piss? Yes, it took fifteen minutes and yes, I was in the middle of working, but my dude, I drink three bottles of water a day. I need to let it out somewhere.

I take a deep breath as if to clear the disarrayed thoughts in my head. As much as I tried to make it sound funny, it wouldn't work because, at the end of the month, the rent wouldn't pay itself. Living on your own had its pros and cons and up till now, if I was completely honest, I had only seen the bad side of it.

 Supporting my hands on the sofa, I try to stand on my feet but almost flop back down. Every time I get up, black spots dance across my vision. I can even see whole galaxies and not in the pretty sense of the word. One time I think I witnessed the glory of the Milky Way itself.

The pills that are strewn across the floor remind me of the impulsive decision I'd decided to make last night so I collect them one by one and put them back in the bottle.

Maybe some other time, I think to myself. Another day.

I'm perfectly fine, after all. I did lose my job yesterday and now I'm hanging on a thread for dear life but it's fine. I can make this work. A small green apple on the counter is the only promise of a so-called decent breakfast. 

"Well hello there, little guy," I say before sinking my teeth into the juicy flesh of the innocent fruit.The apple doesn't respond.I take my phone out of my pocket and tap on the Notes app.

  52 calories are way too fucking much for an apple, I think to myself as I aggressively type the number down.This was about the only positive side of this disease. I was more educated on the nutritional values of food than a real dietitian.

This was how it all had started in the first place — from wanting to make healthier choices to cutting on particular groups of food. Just a slight change. Nothing too alarming. But then, I had to know what I was eating, right? So I start counting.

And that's how it all went to shit. 

After I finish eating the apple and throw its core into the almost empty trash can, I wash it down with a tall glass of water. At last, my animalistic hunger was sedated and I could finally move on with my life. Indeed.

I grab my keys and shut the door behind me, wanting to go out for a while, maybe clear my head a little bit. It's not like I had to feed my kids or anything. There was nothing holding me back. So, I exit the apartment building, my keys clinking in my right pocket, and I hop on my beloved bike, parked right on the corner of the street. Did I have any idea where I was going? No. Was that going to stop me from strolling around like I didn't have a pile of shit waiting to be dealt with? Hell no.

I start pedaling like crazy from the moment I put some distance between my apartment and the main street. Maybe it was because I needed to let off some steam, maybe the amount of calories I would burn excited me. Either way, that doesn't justify the high pitched scream coming from a girl that I almost run over.

 I skid to a stop, the hands on the brakes stopping me from a fatal mistake. The girl's face has gone pale and one of her hands is clutching at her chest, terrified.I notice the way her flawless make-up matches her porcelain foundation, the fitted jeans hugging her slim legs like a second skin, and I feel sick.Sick for the fact that I'd almost killed this girl and all I could think about was how skinnier than me she actually was.

"Watch where you're going, fatass!"

Scratch that.

The Regina George flashback turns it all around.This bitch was going down.

I throw the bike aside in the middle of heavy traffic and shoot daggers from my eyes at her ridiculously perfect form. Any shred of remorse I'd felt up till now dissipates like a wisp of smoke on the wind."The fuck did you just say?"

She flinches from the humorless tone of my voice and I can see from the way her eyes widen that she's starting to regret her poor choice of words. 

"I–"

Before I can blink, she's out of my sight, scurrying away like a frightened little mouse and I can't help but huff an incredulous laugh right there in the middle of the street. A car honks loudly behind my back and I don't hesitate to flip the guy off, the hint of a smile still lingering on my lips.

I wasn't taking any shits from people today.

So I hop on the bike once more and round a corner in search of a place to cool down a little bit. My eyes roam over the long line of stores and shops decorating both sides of the road in a flourished aesthetic and pause on the frame of a particular coffee shop, the strong flavorful smell inviting to my senses. I don't have to think twice before leaving my bike on the sidewalk and entering the shop with curious steps, scanning the interiors in a quick once-over. I sit by the window since it faces the street and make myself comfortable enough to attract a few pair of judging eyes. 

A woman seated on a table close-by looks at me disapprovingly, staring at my clothes for a little longer than needed. She was probably wondering why was a tomboy wannabe man-spreading with an arm thrown across the chair like she owned the place.

Look, ma'am. It's the twenty-first century. No one gives a shit about girl mannerisms anymore.

"Didn't anyone tell you staring is rude?" I say, not bothering to make myself look somewhat presentable. She looks appalled by the bluntness of my words, probably not used to being called out so straight-forwardly but it seemed to have worked as she just turns her head on the other side, pretending to not have heard anything.

That's what I thought.

I fish my phone out of my pocket and scroll down mindlessly. A distraction more than anything. But I don't even get the luxury of having a moment's peace when a pair of black stomper shoes slow down to a stop down my line of vision. I raise my eyes deliberately, following the two long legs protruding from them that connect with a bulky chest till I finally reach the top.

A boy.

No, a man.

Well, a mix of both.

His well-built figure screams "I've never skipped a day at the gym", the veiny muscles tight against the black shirt he's wearing. A swirling black tattoo makes an appearance on the side of his neck, disappearing inside the collar of his shirt, peeking again at his biceps and then snaking its way down his arm. There are multiple piercings on both of his ears, the silvery dangling pieces curtained by a mass of black messy hair reaching past his cheekbones and falling in front of his eyes carelessly.

Those eyes...

His whole physique resembled that of a fully grown man but his eyes were the ones who gave him away. Big and round and boyish.

I wasn't sure why I had spent more than a minute ogling at a stranger coming up to my table. Maybe it was the dark, mysterious aura radiating off of him or the way he was looking at me expectantly. Still, this motherfucker was too handsome for his own good. And he still stays right in front of me, unmoving, waiting for something.

"Are you lost, child?" I ask, looking at him dead in the eye.

He scoffs, clearly offended. "Child?"

"Your fly's down." I deadpan.

Unfortunately for him, his eyes slightly dip down to the front of his pants.

"Ha! I made you look!" I proclaim, a spark of amusement making the corners of my lips upturn. 

He, on the other hand, doesn't look so happy, his curled up fists shaking by his sides, trying to keep himself in control."Can I take your order?" he grits the polite words through his teeth, even though he looks like he's about to strangle me from any second now.

"You're the waiter? Where's your uniform?"

"I don't have it with me." The boy's expression has turned angry, irritated even by the consistency of my questions.I decide to take it down a notch or two for the sake of the bulging vein on his throat, threatening to pop off. "Kay, chill. I was just asking."I lean closer and put my elbow on the table. " Soo...You come here often?"

It's his turn to deadpan. "I work here."

"Whoops. Silly me, I forgot." 

"Are you gonna order or not?" He can't help the slight raise of his voice, more than enough proof that his patience was wearing thin.

Uh oh. Hoe's mad.

I throw a leg across my knee in the most arrogant way possible and lean back on the chair. "Aren't you gonna write it down somewhere?" I ask, raising one eyebrow.

"I can remember it." he simply answers.

Fine then, pretty boy. Let's see how you remember this.

"I'll have a quad long shot grande in a venti cup, half calf, double cupped, no sleeve, salted caramel mocha latte with two pumps of vanilla."

Oh, I've definitely made him mad now. 

With a look of pure hatred on his face, he clenches his jaws together and stomps off in the opposite direction with God knows how much memory of the order in his head but before he can go further, I shout for him to stop. I was starting to feel bad for the boy with the long hair flying behind him dramatically. Not to mention, there was no way in hell I'd let that much sugar enter my body.

"Wait!"

He pauses and slowly turns around."I changed my mind. Just a cup of dark coffee will do. No sugar."

Surprisingly, a subtle smirk creeps its way on his lips, throwing a whole new light to his features. "Aren't you gonna tell me to make sure it's darker than your soul?"

Hmph. The little puppy can bite back, after all.

"Nah, that's overused," I say. His eyes scan me from head to toe and then he pivots on his heel, disappearing behind the multiple tools of the counter, probably communicating the order to someone else. It doesn't take long for him to come back once again, his long elegant hand gently picking up the cup of coffee from the tray and putting it on the table.

In that fleeting moment I can make out a messy layout of tattoos; a smiley emoji on his middle finger, four small crosses in the spaces between and a bunch of other symbols I don't recognize. All that, gracefully completed by a gorgeous black flower and a bunch of other patterns wrapped around his forearm. 

How contrasting it was, the way his appearance clashed with his personality. Did I actually know him? I think so.The guy was obviously kind enough not to spill the thing all over my clothes in an act of rebellion and I had to say it was an admirable thing to do considering how far I was pushing his limits. I am almost ready to hold out the olive branch to him.

Almost.

"I thought I said no sugar," I say, noticing the small white pack by the side of the cup."I guessed you would probably change your mind again." he teases, but the displeasure is still quite evident on his face.

Interesting.

"Next time, just make sure to do what I say." I retort, very much aware that I was prolonging the situation more than needed, but I just couldn't help it. I was really enjoying the reactions I got from him every time I pushed his buttons. 

He's practically fuming with anger but still doesn't fall prey to my relentless attacks, instead choosing to walk away like a civilian.

Pity. I wish he'd stayed a little longer.

The coffee is absolutely disgusting. Its bitter aftertaste almost makes me gag. 

This is what happens when you refuse to add sugar to any kind of drink, Jojo. It basically tastes like shit.

I forcefully down the last gulps and rise from my table, leaving a tip for the emo kid even though I'm running low on money. He deserved it after putting up with my bullshit for that long.

The woman staring at me earlier goes wide-eyed when I lift two fingers to the side of my brow, offering her a salute before making my way out of the coffee shop.

 I don't eat lunch that day. Not even dinner. I just stare at the black screen of the turned-off TV, sipping water from my mug like it's the most flavorful thing in the universe and not having the energy to even cry myself to sleep anymore. I do that every night. Cry and cry and cry like there's no tomorrow. It feels relieving somehow— like I've let something off my chest, even though momentarily.

I grab my phone and type down the stupid number anyway. 

2 calories. I write 2 calories for a fucking cup of coffee like it's gonna make a shit ton of difference.

Fucking ridiculous.

I want to sink deeper into this misery, let it consume me whole till there's nothing left, but like a beacon of light, the image of that boy's face emerges into the surface. 

"That guy was cute." I voice the words that have been on my mind all day before falling into a deep dreamless sleep.

~ JUNGKOOK ~

There she was. That girl again.

In all my three years of working here, I'd never encountered someone so rude, shameless and utterly irritating. She's sitting on the same spot from yesterday, looking out the window and throwing casual glances at her phone. She also has the same baggy hoodie and sweats, probably too lazy to even bother change into something else.

 However, what attracts my attention is the bandage wrapped around her hand, a pink hue visible where her knuckles should be. I'd noticed it the first day too, wondering where in the world would she get that kind of wound. She did seem like the type of girl who would get into fights actually, judging from her boyish clothes and brash personality but I wasn't sure if–

Whatever.

It was none of my business and I had work to do, anyway. I couldn't be bothered with the antics of a rebellious teenage girl. The glass I'm wiping almost slips out of my hands. Bold of her to call me a child when she couldn't be more than five feet tall. I wondered if her feet even reached the pedals of her bike.

"Hey Jungkook, you got a customer." Kwan's voice shakes me out of my thoughtful state as he flicks his chin towards the girl.

"Can't you get this one for me?" I grimace."Why? Are you afraid she's gonna bite?"

"Seems like it."

His eyes narrow into slits as he glares at me suspiciously.

"Come on man, just do what I say for once," I insist, not really wanting to deal with her shit for a second time. Kwan raises his palms up in surrender and goes to take the girl's order, but not without mumbling a "kids these days" on his way out.

The girl looks up from her phone upon  Kwan's arrival but then her eyes quickly roam around as if searching for something. They exchange a few words too quietly for me to hear amid the general bustle of the shop, and then my coworker is by my side before I can blink.

 "Nothing to be scared of, Jeon. She just asked for a green tea," Kwan says and grabs a number of items from the counter.

"So, she didn't say anything rude?"

"Nope."

"Not even an insult?"

Kwan tsks with his tongue.

Hmph.

Maybe she just hadn't been in the mood yesterday because there's definitely something different about the way she's just sitting there–

Barbecue sauce on her ti—

A snort accidentally escapes from my lips and I lower my head further to hide the embarrassment of the uninvited thought.

"Something funny?" Kwan asks, looking up from the tea he was brewing. I click my tongue just as he'd done.

 It takes about a minute or so until the order's ready and I note the way the girl's face contorts with each sip of her tea as if someone had actually put a gun to her head to drink that horrendous beverage. She still drains the cup to its dregs, though.

Gets up.

Sways a little.

The hand wrapped in bandages holds onto the table for support and she finally pushes herself up to her feet. A little light-headed, if you ask me.

That confident image I'd created of her yesterday, crumbles into pieces when I observe the vulnerable state she's currently in. I wasn't sure why I was paying much attention to a complete stranger who I would probably never meet again, but I just couldn't stop myself. It was like being pulled into a black hole and finding yourself secretly enjoying it even though your gut tells you that it's wrong. 

It was weird but true.I'd experienced it before.

The brief moment of realization had been enough to make me get lost in my thoughts so I snap my eyes back to the girl's table only to notice that the seat was empty.

She'd left.

~JOJO ~

Discipline. I need to practice discip–

Fuck. Is that a hamburger?

The delicious treat from the glass showcase of a fast-food restaurant winks at me and my mouth waters just by looking at it. When was the last time I ate anything decent? I rack my brains out, calculating the number of calories I'd consumed for the last two days and the only results are an apple, a cup of black coffee, green tea and maybe a tank of water.

Wait!

I did lick that spoon of peanut butter this morning, so in total, 144 calories. Might as well call it a fast for all I care.

My breath quickens with every push of the pedal, thighs burning with the strain. It's been almost three hours since I left the coffee shop and I'm pretty sure the tires of my bike must be deflated from going through every damn corner of the city.

Why would I do that? Because I'm a stupid ass bitch who likes to push herself to her limits and who doesn't know what rest means.

I know I'm going too far. I know it won't be long before all of this comes crashing down on me, sending my progress back to the starting point, but I can't seem to stop. Not when the ecstasy is so overwhelming, filling me up with a fake sense of achievement. This was probably the reason why this disorder was addicting. It made you feel like you had the reins in your hands, not it.

Not her.

Oh, Ana. How much I wanna fucking kill you right now.

It was all her fault, after all. 

No. It wasn't her fault. It was the people's fault.They were the ones that said things. Things that hurt me. And their words didn't affect me directly but they fed my insecurities. 

It was confusing, actually.They said I was fat. I tried and built some muscle by working out.They said I looked too manly with my muscles now. It didn't suit me.I dropped ten pounds starving myself.

What did they want?

What was the right body?

I didn't know anymore.There would always be something not right, not good enough.

I grip the handlebar tighter when the flood of old memories engulfs me without warning, making its appearance like an uninvited guest. I'm not even sure how it all started in the first place because believe it or not, I was the biggest body-positivity enthusiast.

And then suddenly I wasn't.

And then I find out that there's a whole community out there with people just like me but so radical, so different from anything I'd ever seen before. At first, I was outraged, disgusted even, by the naive statements of young girls saying they wanted the thinnest body possible, fantasizing about skin and bones, but as time went by and as I delved deeper and deeper into the swirling vortex of these intoxicating thoughts, I started succumbing to them. They suddenly seemed appealing.

I let out a sigh between heavy breaths.

Did it matter now? Besides, that guy didn't even show up today. Maybe it's his day off or something.

The brilliant rays of the afternoon sun make the glass panes of the cars passing by gleam like a swarm of fireflies.It would've looked pretty if it weren't for the way it made me shield my eyes. I was already having a hard time trying to keep them open as my strength started to run out, the view in front of me doing half–circles and then turning back to its optimal position. My legs feel like lead and I stop pedaling altogether, letting my bike guide me instead.

Tired.

So, so...tired.

A familiar face swims into my line of vision. It's the emo kid. 

And he's....falling?

The handlebar spirals out of my control and my knee hits hard concrete. That face is the last thing I see before a black cloak of darkness swallows me whole 

~JUNGKOOK~

Never in a million years would I have thought  I'd have to carry a random person to the nearest hospital on my way home. Yet here I am, sitting on a chair for the past hour, staring at the girl's chest rise and fall with slow, rhythmic breaths. 

There are fresh bandages wrapped around her scraped knee and multiple bruises all over her body. I'd seen the slightest look of surprise cross her face before her eyes rolled up in her head and she fell off the bike, hitting her head in the process. It had been a chaotic situation, that one. People had kept gathering around, trying to sneak a peek at the accident but still not doing anything to actually help. So I'd taken things to my own hands, done my duty as a normal person would.

Then why are you still here, Jungkook? my logic reasons with me. The doctor said she would be fine so why are you still sitting over here, waiting for her to wake up?

That's right. I should be going.I lean my palms on my knees but before I can fully rise from the chair, the girl's eyes crack open. She takes a look around the room, analyzing her surroundings, and then her eyes stop on my face. 

"Who the fuck are you?" she croaks.

Here we go again... I internally sigh."We met at the coffee shop. Or don't you remember?" I answer, praying for her life not to get my anger rise so fast.

"Right," she says, even though something tells me she had known exactly who I was in the first place. "The fuck are you doing here?"

"I saved your life."

"Why bother?"

"You should be grateful, you know."

"Did I ever ask for your fucking help?"

I had to admit I was slightly taken aback. The girl swore and cursed worse than a sailor. As if on cue, a jumble of profanities spill from her lips as she struggles to sit up, suddenly finding herself tangled in tubes and needles trickling colorless liquid into her veins.

 "Get this shit off of me, " she says and rips the said piece from the inside of her forearm.

"You should keep that for a little longer." I protest, hands already reaching for the needle laying on the sheets but she flinches from my touch and throws a leg across the bed, attempting to get up.

 "Sit down!" I say a little harsher than I intended but it was impossible not to.

Unbelievable.

Her nonchalance and irresponsible behavior made me want to punch her in the face, regardless of her being a girl. At last, she has the dignity to actually do what she's told. "Someone's cranky, " she mumbles as she leans back on the pillow.

 This girl must have a split personality disorder because only two seconds later her legs are crossed comfortably despite the nasty injury on her knee and she's leaning forward with her cheek on her palm, staring intently at me with a curious smile hanging on her lips. 

"You never told me your name, " she says.

"You never asked, " I reply.

She scowls. "Stop trying to play the smartass with me, child and just tell me your fucking name."

"It's Jungkook."

Her eyebrows lift in surprise.

"I know, it rolls off your tongue, doesn't it?" I tease.

"Actually, it sounds like a chicken dying, but okay."

My lips twitch in amusement, trying to suppress the silly smile demanding to make an appearance.

"To be honest, I'm kinda disappointed, " she continues. "I was expecting something more special, like Sebastian or Gabriel or something." She scratches her chin while her eyes still stay rooted on my face. "You know what, imma call you Juan. Yeah, Juan's better. Got that Latino vibe to it."

Her never-ending shenanigans were pure torture so I decide to turn the tables for a change. "And what is your name?" I ask.

For once, she doesn't try to make fun of me. "Jojo."

Cute.

"It fits you."

Her eyebrows scrunch themselves together as she carefully observes me. "Hmmm....Anyway–" She crawls to the side of the bed and grimaces when her left foot leans on the floor. "Thanks for spending your precious time with me, Juan but now I gotta blast."

"Miss, I'm gonna have to ask you to sit down, please," another voice is heard and the doctor I'd talked to earlier steps into the room. He stares the girl, Jojo I remind myself, down but she doesn't relent, staring right back with the same intensity.

"I'm perfectly fine—"

"Your blood sugar levels are at their lowest point, that wound on your knee needs to be changed continuously or else you'll get an infection and you might have a concussion from the way you hit your head. I'm surprised you're still even talking."

There's a slight tremor in her pupils, which I 'm pretty sure is caused by the panicked state she's trying to hide. She plasters a smile on her face. "Come on now, Doc. I'm sure you can let me off this one time. The fact that I'm still talking proves I'm better, right?"

"Miss—"

"I'll accompany her, " I blurt without thinking and both of them snap their heads in my direction. No turning back now. "I'll make sure she gets home safely," I assure him.

"I don't need your—" Jojo starts, but her words falter when she meets the doctor's glare. "I mean... sure, why not?"

The doctor seems satisfied enough as he turns on his heel without a moment's hesitation. However, he hasn't even made it past the threshold when he pauses, turns halfway around and looks at her dead in the eye. "And by the way, miss. You should eat something. Your heart's gonna fail at this rate."

I could have sworn I saw something flash behind her eyes but she doesn't show it, choosing to keep that sad smile on her face like an anchor linking her to sanity.

"Son of a bitch." I hear her mumble under her breath.

~JOJO~

Son of a bitch I repeat in my head over and over again till the words start to sound foreign to my ears, suddenly losing their meaning. 

That damn doctor just had to point out the fact that I hadn't eaten anything for the last couple of days. He was right, of course, but that didn't stop me from mentally sending a series of curses his way.

I have never felt so shitty in my life. Both physically and mentally. My head feels like it's going to split in half, the stinging of the wound on my knee is crying like a bitch and there's not an ounce of strength left in me. 

Powerless. 

And if that wasn't enough, Juan's endless questions only add to my misery.

"For the last time, no, I don't live with my parents," I say for what felt like the gazillionth time, still refusing the hand he kept offering my way. I might be on the verge of collapsing but under no circumstances was I to let myself be held like a damsel in distress. 

Nuh-uh.That's a line you can't cross, mister.

"That sounds kinda hard to believe," Juan says and sticks his rejected hand back in his pocket, probably to get rid of the awkwardness.

"Bitch, I don't need your approval to say something. If you don't want to believe me, fine. Suit yourself. "

His shiny black hair glints in the darkness, catching the beams of moonlight as he flicks it away from his face. "How can I be a bitch? I'm a male." he retorts.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Man whore." I reply, putting a clear emphasis on the last syllable. 

He scowls, seeming genuinely offended by my words, especially when he says " Swearing is rude, you know."

"You know what else is rude? Asking people too many questions."

"But can you blame me, though? I mean you pretty much look like a high-schooler who ran away from home."

I stop dead in my tracks. "You have a strong sense of guessing."

He blinks. "Wait. You're  really a high-schooler who ran away from home?"

I resume my walking, using the concrete wall on the side of the road for support. "For your information, I did finish high-school so suck on that."

"But you still ran away from home, right?" he insists.

"Oh for fuck's sake— yes, I did run away from home. Are you happy now?"

The blank look on his face, combined with the slight shrug of his shoulders almost causes me to snort. "Cool, " he says, unbothered."Aren't you gonna ask why I did it?"

"Not interested, " he states and looks straight ahead, completely ignoring my presence."Liar. I can see that you're one of those assholes who are dead-curious about everything."

"Am not!" he whirls on me.

I scrunch my nose and sniff the air around me like a wild dog hunting on its prey. "You smell that?" I ask him.

"What?"

"Smells like bullshit to me."

Even in the darkness, I can see the dramatic roll of his eyes, causing their whites to stand out. He had pretty big eyes, this guy. They softened that edgy aura he gave off, all muscles, tattoos, and black clothes. And the fact that he tolerated my irritating behavior, which I was deeply aware of, made him look even more appealing to my eyes. 

"Why did you volunteer to take me home, Juan?" I quietly ask, glancing at him through the corner of my vision.

He seems to mull the question over in his head for a moment, eyes staring his shoes down. "I don't know. You seemed like you needed some help." He throws a look at me. "Which by the way, is still valid. You look like hell."

For some reason, that makes me retract my hands from the wall and I try to keep myself stable on my own two feet, limping heavily on the process. 

"What exactly happened with your bike?" he continues, unaware of my recent action.

"I was busy stalking hot guys all day, so my bike got tired. Guess she just couldn't handle it anymore." 

The boy doesn't seem to fall for any of my lies, narrowing his eyes till their nothing but slits. "Do you tend to not eat when you stalk hot guys?"

This little shit...

"Nah, it's just that I'm so fucking forgetful." I immediately reply. "I forget to eat all the time.

"He doesn't relent, still boring holes into my eyes. 

"Hey, what's with all the questions, anyway? I thought you said you were not interested?" I repeat his own words.

"Right, " he admits.

My apartment building comes into view, the looming structure now as familiar as the back of my hand. "We're here, " I announce. My eyebrows raise in wonder as his legs keep heading for the entrance of the building instead of pausing.

 "Where are you going?" I ask.

"To your apartment, obviously."

"What the fuck makes you think you can come to my apartment, boy?" I did not want him to see anything personal of mine, yet for some strange reason, I found myself hoping he would stick around a little longer. A little controversial, considering the fact that my words proved otherwise, but I couldn't just say that to him, could I? Like, hey, kid you're nice. Let's have a little chat before you go. 

Ridiculous.

"I'll just escort you to the door, " he assures.

"No need for that."

"But what if you fall down the stairs?" he insists.

"You got me there." I punch in the code at the main entrance and hurry up the stairs as much as my limp would let me, Jungkook's eyes never leaving me for a second. After what felt like an eternity, I grunt  heavily and lean on the doorstep of my humble apartment. "Okay, you've done your service, soldier. You're free to go now."

Jungkook throws a quick glance at my mustard-colored door, probably weirded out by it but then his eyes flick to my empty hands. "Where's your keys?" he wonders.

My mouth gapes open and my eyes go the size of tennis balls as I frantically pat my pockets. When I notice the way Jungkook's lips part slightly, I burst into hysterical laughter, jiggling the retrieved keys in front of his face. "You should've seen your face!" I laugh. "Hilarious."

He exhales, relieved. "I thought you'd lost them."

"Nah, Juan. I forget a lot of things but not my keys. Besides, these bitches stick up my ass like fucking glue." 

The door's lock clicks with a flick of my wrist but I resist the usual temptation of kicking it wide open, in fear of letting emo-kid sneak a peek. It's not like I was embarrassed of the mess in my apartment or anything like that but it felt weirdly intimate to let someone else get a glimpse of my domestic life. In fact, I hadn't invited anyone over since...

Yes, it had been that long. 

Jungkook notices my reluctance and clears his throat. "So...um...you're all good now, so I better leave. You should–you should take care of your wound."

How weird to see an overgrown, muscular dude stutter and not know what to do with his hands. I usually didn't have the tendency of stereotyping but this definitely struck me as odd. 

I smirk. "Getting shy, Juan?"

He almost flinches at my words. " What? No!"

"Are you waiting for a thanks then?"

A stray hair falls in front of his eyes but he doesn't move it away from his face. "That's not something you ask from people."

I bite my tongue and try not to let the pain on my leg get to me as I squeeze into the room through a thin sliver of space. Still, his words bring a smile to my face and as much as I try to suppress it, it just keeps floating on the surface again. "I'm not an asshole, Juan. So thanks."

"Actually, you refused to say thanks from the start—"

"Okay, now you ruined it," I interrupt. "Get outta here."

He slowly starts to back off and his lips stretch into a barely contained smile. "Good night, Jojo." And then just like that, he's climbing down the stairs with his long legs taking two or three steps at a time.

I shut the door and lean on it for a moment, sighing deeply through my nose.

"Little shit, " I whisper. 

Rise and shine.

That's exactly what my alarm tune doesn't say. Even after so much time hearing it pierce my ears every single morning with its shrill screech, I can never stop myself from wanting to smash the damn thing into pieces. However, that's the only thing that can actually get my ass up from the bed. All the other gentle-sounding melodies had proven to be absolute failures, dragging me even further into the sweet crevices of sleep. 

The numerous late arrivals to work had made me suffer more shouts and scoldings than I could remember from my boss. The guy was a total dick. Good thing I don't work there anymore.

My room is still coated in patches of darkness here and there, the bright rays of the morning sun nowhere to be seen. It is about 5:30, an unholy time to wake up, but since I was now unemployed, I had made an oath to force myself every day into going for a run outside. 

There was no overwhelming hustle and bustle, no moving crowds of people. The city had yet to rise from its slumber and the only activity on sight included slow, quiet movements of passers-by.

I finally kick the blanket off and swing my legs over the bed. The cold surface of the floor awakens my senses as I prepare to go over the usual ritual: Stretch, pee, step on the scale. 

The number has slightly changed from yesterday but not to the point where I want it to. A wave of disappointment washes over me. It happens every day yet I can never get used to it.

I decide to go easy on the breakfast. A cold glass of water, an apple, and a boiled egg. 

I probably should've thought about putting some pants on first, I say to myself as a crumb of egg yolk smears my bare thigh. I use the pad of my finger to wipe it off and cringe intensely. These thick bitches turned three sizes wider when sitting down and it only spurred on my body dysmorphia.

Disgusting.

Not forgetting about my daily dose of green tea, I hurry up before the sun rises and put some sports clothes on, which wasn't really that hard since they were the only thing in my closet. I shut the door behind me but it feels like something is nagging the back of my mind, demanding my attention. 

Did I forget anything?

I rack my brains out in search of a clue but nothing makes it into the surface. 

This stupid obsession...

Making sure my shoelaces are tightly secured and my earphones plugged in, I climb down the stairs and burst out of the entrance of the building. I welcome the sharp sting of fresh air that fills my lungs with a deep breath and waste no time to sprint into a run, the loud music already blasting my ears in full force.The wound on my knee does not approve of this but I don't give two shits. It can cry like a bitch for all I care.

It's easy at first, obviously. Your body is rested and unspent so you relish those twenty minutes with pure adrenaline flowing through your veins. But then, the run takes its toll on you. It's unavoidable.

The sky switches from dark blue to a pastel pink, announcing the official start of the day and reminding me of my tiresome condition. I'm panting like an asthmatic by now and my clothes stick uncomfortably with sweat so I slow into a light jog. The sting on my knee grows stronger and stronger til I can barely stand it. The clean sidewalk grows hard under my feet and it's all I can do not to faint from exhaustion. Running tires you out? Try running with not enough food in your system.

I scan my surroundings in an attempt to distract myself from the fatigue. A few trees lining up the street, a grey car hurrying to God knows where, hair—

Wait, what?

I redirect my eyes to the spot I was staring at and notice a mop of dark hair swinging wildly. The body they belong to is in fast-motion, arms shifting from side to side as the legs make long, speeding strides.

No fucking way. I guess it's not such a bad day after all.

I smirk as I gain speed, now heading straight  towards the boy with newfound strength. As I maneuver from side to side with a few random strangers, I can't help but stare at the way his sweatpants hug every curve of his butt. He had a nice butt, this guy. I'm kinda jealous. And as if that wasn't enough, the material of his loose T-shirt  turns darker from the collar down to his back, marking a trail of sweat. He'd ran just as hard from what I could see.

The music in my earphones dies out as I quickly catch up to him and slip by his side, matching his constant rhythm. He doesn't notice at first, but after the numerous glances I throw from the corner of my eye, he finally flinches and stops abruptly. "Jojo?"

His hair is completely drenched in sweat. The dark strands form wet tendrils on his forehead and numerous trails that drip from  his temples and down to his chin. He almost rips his earbuds  off and I have to say I feel slightly endeared. As a person who preferred not to be disturbed while listening to music, I could appreciate the fact that he removed them in the blink of an eye. If a person does that, he respects you. Simple as that.

 He gives me a look of mild curiosity, which for a surprise makes him look ten times hotter. I also slow down to a stop as a smile tugs at the edges of my lips. "Oh, hey Juan! Didn't see you there."

He looks behind his back for good measure and turns to stare at me. "Are you stalking me?"

I scoff in feigned annoyance. "What the fuck? Am I not allowed to go for a run now? Do you own these streets or something?"

"No, but—"

"Hey, hey, " I quickly interrupt him. "Less chatting, more running."

I will my feet to start moving again and he immediately catches up. "So...how are you feeling?"

"Tired, " I reply.

"I meant from last night."

Well that's a surprise. I didn't think he would remember it, let alone be worried about my condition. "Oh. I'm fine. It's nothing, really, " I wave a dismissive hand.

He stares at me for a moment too long before turning his head straight. "That's good."

After that, neither me nor him try to elaborate on the topic. For some moments, the only thing heard is our combined panting and heavy breathing and it doesn't do much to tame my wild brain from going places. I push the dirty thoughts aside for later reference and give my head a slight tilt to peek at him."Tell me more about yourself, Juan."

"What do you wanna know?" he asks without looking.

"Everything."

He laughs delightedly. "Ok but you're gonna have to ask me questions, though. I don't know where to start."

"Perfect. Where do you live?"

His neck does a ninety-degree turn with such a lightning speed that I'm scared he broke a bone or two. "I knew you were stalking me!" he exclaims as if he had made a scientific discovery.

I smack my lips impatiently. "Just answer the damn question!"

"Two blocks from here."

"That means the coffee shop is close to your house, right?"

"I live in an apartment, " he adds and gives a curt nod before his attention is back to me. "Okay, my turn now. Did you ever go to college?"

Not this shit again. If I hadn't been attracted to his ridiculously good looks, he would be rubbing at a sore spot in between his eyeballs. "Goodness, child. You really are stubborn."

"Hey, it's only fair if you keep asking me questions, " he protests and instead of angering me, the harmless expression turns my insides into jelly. I was finding it hard to keep up with the constant appearances of his duality. It was weird. I barely knew this guy and I still told him things so strictly personal that I'd never thought I'd say out loud. 

" I dropped out of college after the first year. Couldn't afford it."

And just like that, the jolly, playful countenance disappears to be replaced by a darker one. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

"I dropped too, " he continues. " Guess studies weren't exactly my thing."

"Oh wow. We have so much in common."

A pause.

"Where's your family?"

I was starting to think this kid was more interested in my personal life than me as a person. "Back home."

He doesn't say anything, waiting for me to explain further and unfortunately, I fall prey to his puppy eyes staring at me intently. An uncomfortable ball of imaginary yarn settles at the base of my throat. I try to gulp it down while fighting to keep the slight tremble in my voice from showing.  " They...did some things to me. Bad things. I'm never going back."

He notices my discomfort, bless his soul, and decides to drop it. "My parents live far from here and I don't visit them as much. So yeah, that sucks."

His poor attempt at sympathizing with me makes my lips crack into a subtle grin. "Are all parents bad or are we just awful teenagers?"

"Both, I guess, " he chuckles.

Just when I assume the twenty-one question game has finally come to an end, he proves me wrong for the bazillionth time. "Is there anyone you hang out, at least?"

"You, " I answer.

His eyes widen twice their original size and I laugh through my nose. "Just kidding. I have a friend called Anna. Such a nice, caring and sweet girl." My lips twitch on the side to impersonate a somber smile but I had the feeling it looked like I was having a nervous tick. "She's to die for."

Time is cruel to us, swallowing up each patch of daylight until the sky has turned into the purest baby blue and let the rays of sunlight fall astray into our poor backs. The heat and the exhaustion makes us slow our pace. Then, suddenly a sharp pain stabs me across my knee and I wince discreetly.

"Do you go to work?" Juan asks, oblivious to my current torture.

"No, I quit, " I say, refusing to admit that the reason for that hadn't really been my choice. "Why'd you ask?"

"Well, it's just that—" He abruptly stops and his eyes shift their attention to my legs, staring hard at them.

"What?" 

"You're bleeding, " he states, matter of factly.

I snap my head down and take note of the way my knee is soaked in a dark red stain, slowly webbing its tendrils along the fabric."Aw shit, " I curse under my breath.

"You need to go to the hospital, " Jungkook quickly intervenes before a long string of profanities can spill over my lips.

"No. No more hospitals. I'll just go home and put some fresh bandages on it."

"Okay, well let me come with you."

I take a step back and shake my head from side to side. "For the last time, I don't need your help, Juan. Here are my key—" I frantically fish my pockets but they're completely empty, save for that stupid paper towel that I had somehow forgotten there. "Fuck no! Fuck no!"

Juan's brow bunches up in distress as his judging eyes give me a hard stare. "You already made that joke once."

"I'm not joking around, you idiot!" I snap, probably a bit too harsh but the panic seems to have gotten under my skin for me to care at this point. "I forgot my keys!"

So, that's what kept nagging me in the morning. I mentally slap myself for being such a careless mess and vow to not make the same mistake again.

"Let's go to the hospital, " Juan calmly repeats, seemingly unaffected by my sudden burst of anger. I wonder if he was hiding his hurt on the inside. If that was true, I'd have to give him a round of applause because he was sure doing a hell of a good job.

"No."

"Do you want to bleed to death?" This time he can't help the hint of anger from seeping into his voice.

I say nothing.

"If you don't want to go to the hospital then come with me back at my place. I have some bandages too."

"Absolutely not!" I protest, outraged. If this kept going on, we would end up at each other's throats.

"Look, it's either that or the hospital. You pick." 

Shit. He had me cornered. Well, what was I to say? I liked hanging out with him but I also didn't want him to see me in such a vulnerable state and make me feel indebted to him. It had already happened once and I hadn't liked it not even one bit. "I can't just come at your place, " I say with a lilt of playfulness in my voice. My figure was already frayed at the edges and he was quick to catch sight of it. "What if you're a murdering psychopath in disguise?"

He smiles in earnest, as if I'd just told him he was the nicest guy on the planet. "Then you can always stab me with a kitchen knife."

This was wrong. This was so wrong. I couldn't just go to his house, dammit. I was letting my guard down way too much. No way I was doing this.

"Fine, " I finally surrender and wish I'd bitten my tongue in time before the word made it past my lips.

~ JUNGKOOK ~

By the time we get to my apartment, the sun has already reached its highest peak in the horizon and the powerfully bright rays start to make me feel a bit wobbly.

I had offered Jojo to at least hold on to me but she seemed hellbent on making it by herself. I could see how much the wound was hurting her, yet she refused to let any emotion whatsoever show on her face.

I open the door unceremoniously and pause to let her in first. She carefully shuffles her steps with a heavy limp weighing her down but I could see that she was still having second thoughts on whether to enter a complete stranger's apartment or not. As soon as she passes the threshold, I release a sigh I didn't realize I'd been holding.

Her head starts turning from side to side, scanning the interiors of the living room. I suddenly feel self-conscious. Is the place messy? Did I forget to put my socks on the laundry basket? I was worried she would shy away and leave altogether. 

"Nice place you got here, " Jojo says with a whistle.

I unconsciously smile but it fades away the moment she plops down onto the couch, ignoring the still-fresh wound on her knee. She even has the audacity to swing her leg over the edge and let it dangle there. So much for shying away.

"I'll go get the bandages, " I announce and retreat into the bathroom, keeping an eye on her from the way back. She gives me a salute before going back to studying the walls with curious eyes.

I hurry up and lock myself up in the bathroom and immediately, the sight of my disheveled look greets me in the mirror. My hair is wild, some strands clinging with sweat onto my temples and some flailing in the air like unmowed grass. My skin glistens with a fine sheen of wetness that makes me itch with discomfort and there's a pink blush settled on my nose and cheekbones. Did I really look like this all morning?

I let the water of the faucet run under my hands and give my face a quick splash. Why am I so nervous, dammit? It's just a girl. I really need to get a hold of myself. The image of her face reminds me of the reason I came here in the first place. I hurriedly grab the bandages from the counter along with some alcohol, cotton pads and a towel.

I take a deep breath and return to the living room with a forced air of nonchalance. "I got the—" I announce but the words falter when I see the empty couch. Where the hell did she go?

"You have very good-looking parents. No wonder where you got the genes, " her voice is heard from the other side of the room and I see her standing by one of the shelves, examining the tiny picture of my mom and dad, smiling at each other while my older brother cuddles my dog's white fur.

"Uh..thanks, " I manage as I scratch my neck.

At this, she turns around and finally looks at me. "Nothing to be shy about, Juan. You're handsome. You don't need glasses to see that."

"I—"

"Alright, are you gonna give me those or not?" she questions with a sly smile, pointing her chin towards the items in my hands and I internally curse from the distraction. Oh, she really did enjoy toying around with me. 

I prevent myself from stuttering another word and slowly approach her. She grabs the things from my hands and sits on the couch yet again. Her condition was no better than mine. A single drop of sweat slides from the side of her cheek and travels down her neck in an excruciating slow motion. Her complexion had turned ruddy and her hair stuck to her edges with perspiration. How she had managed to run so hard in that state was beyond me.

I silently hand her the towel first. "Dab your neck with this before you catch a cold."

 She looks at me with a slight tilt of her head but accepts it nonetheless, mumbling a "dab on them haters" under her breath. 

"What about you?" she asks aloud. "You're literally dripping." As if summoned, another drop of sweat free-falls from my chin and onto the floor.

"It's okay. I'll be fine, " I quickly reply.

"Well aren't you a tough cookie?" she giggles. "Get it? Tough? Kookie? Jungkookie?"

I almost snort. And as if that wasn't enough, the nickname she used made this weird sensation creep onto my stomach.

After she's done drying her skin, she crouches down to take a look at the wound that still kept trickling blood. Her careful fingers roll the dirtied bandage around her knee to reveal such a nasty sight, I almost gasp in surprise. The blood had smeared the skin around the edges and on its center there's a blackish liquid that looks like anything but blood.

"Oh shit, " she whispers, obviously not expecting the wound to be in such a degree. I move forward with worry in my trembling form but she's quick to stop me."No, it's okay. I got it."

"But it looks really ba-"

"Thanks Juan, but I said I can handle it."

I silently get back and let her do the work herself. She seemed so used to this process, as if she had done it countless of times before. Her hands are quick and agile, snatching the alcohol and cotton pads and then proceeding to wrap brand new bandages around her knee. Not a single hiss or whine falls from her lips. After she successfully finishes, she lifts her head to gift me a charming innocent smile. As if she hadn't just split her knee open. This girl...

After that, the room falls into an awkward silence so I keep looking everywhere else but her. "Do you want something to drink?" I offer.

"Once a waiter, always a waiter, " she sighs while scratching her forehead. 

"Okay, what do you have?"

"Let me check," I announce and head to the fridge without another word. I examine the contents within and yell from across the room. "Um... coke?" "I don't do drugs, " she yells back.

"As in the drink, Jojo."

"Oh. What kind?"

"The regular one."

"No diet coke?"

"No. Sorry."

"Okay, just get me a glass of water."

I come back with the glass and hesitate a split second before handing it to her. 

"I really like your place, Juan," she says after a tiny sip. "Its so....you."

A discouraged laugh escapes from me. "You don't even know me."

"Says who? I'm excellent at knowing people's personalities on first sight, " she continues after another sip.

"What about you then?" I suddenly ask.

"My place or my personality?"

"Both."

She considers it a moment before answering. "Well, both suck compared to you. Especially my apartment, Juan. You wouldn't believe the fucking mess I make all the time."

She sounded nonchalant about the matter but I could sense the discomfort behind the words. She was having it harder than she let on.

"What are you gonna do from now on?" I ask, careful not to sound intrusive. "You lost your job right? How are you gonna pay your rent?

She plasters a smile on her face. "I'll figure something out." 

Before I can push it further with my vast myriad of questions, she rises from the couch and sets  the glass on the table. " Well, I better go now. Thanks for the help, Juan. I'll see you around."

I watch with frozen limbs as she makes her way towards the door with that tilt on her step and wonder if I really was crazy after the next words I hear coming out of my mouth.

"Wait!"

She slowly turns around and gives me a curious look.

"I have a proposal, " I say before I can regret it.

She grins in response. "Thanks but I'm too young to get married."

"No, not that. I was wondering... I mean if you want to...." I've never felt more nervous in my life. My words keep stumbling into one another and I can barely keep the the inexplicable stutter out of my voice. "You can—you can work at the coffee shop with me. I can convince my boss to get you the job."

She smiles and pivots on her heel. " Yeah, right."

"Hey, I'm serious."

"Forget it, " she says without turning around.

"Why forget it? Aren't you struggling?"

For a moment it seems like I've caught her attention. She pauses in her steps and slowly turns around until she's completely facing me. There are no more hints of smiles or amusement. Just a blank expression that for some reason looks sadder than anything else. "I don't want your pity."

"Its not pity, " I protest. "We've been short of staff anyway and you need a job. It's a win-win for both of us."

She takes a deep breath and lets it out just as harshly. "Why are you doing this, Juan? The hospital and the bandages and everything... Why are you helping me?"

"I like helping people, " I simply reply.

"Some people don't like to be helped."

"Well, if you think that, you're an idiot!" I snap as a pinch of anger sneaks into my voice.

She raises an eyebrow.

"Look, " I continue. "I don't know if I've done something wrong or if you just don't like people in general. I was just trying to help. If you don't want it, the door's right there."

Okay, now I really fucked up. I'd never been so straight-forward to someone before but it was like her sharp jabs had forced the harsh words right out of my mouth. Sometimes, the frustration overwhelmed me to the point I couldn't tell right from wrong.

She's frozen in her spot, wide eyes staring at me in a mix of shock and wonder. But then, her eyes slowly drag along my body, giving me a once-over before setting on my face. Her lips crack into a lopsided grin that was anything but innocent. "I like you, Juan, " she says and heads for the door before pausing on the threshold.  "And I'll think about your offer."

The door closes shut behind her and just like that, she's gone.  

~ JOJO ~

There's no way I'm doing this, I say to myself as I take a hot shower. No fucking way, I repeat as I get dressed and tighten my shoelaces. I felt like a mere sheep heading to meet the butcher's axe. But the sheep was making this choice herself. She was willing. 

I was afraid the boy had put a spell on me. I'd never been so weak-hearted and obedient to someone's  requests. Here I was, going to that cursed coffee shop even after all the fights with Anna last night. She kept persuading me to stay inside, lock myself up in my room and not talk to anyone for the next week or so. She'd never been the social type, the bitch.

Most people said it was like a voice in your head urging you to do whatever it wanted, but that was not the case at all. If the concept of Ana was that unrealistic it wouldn't be so hard to label it as just another link into the shackles of mental disturbances but the thing was, there was that doubt that made you hesitate on whether these were actually your thoughts that made you behave this way or something actually real and tangible. The feeling of something not claiming its existence but still lingering like a shadow on your every step.Is it me or her?Who said that?

I shake my head violently to clear my thoughts as I find myself in front of the shop's entrance.The floor seems to wobble beneath my feet and I doubted whether it was just because of the fact that my stomach had crumpled in itself like a sheet of paper.

I clear my throat loudly to capture the attention of the man hunched on the counter.He slowly lifts his head as an automatic smile appears on his face. “Yes?"

I steady my posture. "I'm looking for someone named Jungkook. He works here."

His eyebrows almost touch his hairline but he's quick to recollect himself. "Oh, sure. He's in the back fixing some stuff. I'll go get him for you."

He disappears behind a door and comes back two seconds later with the reason of my sleepless nights by his side. 

"You're here!" Jungkook exclaims, a little too loud for my liking. He seemed slightly surprised, as if he hadn't thought I would actually come. Couldn't blame the guy. There were times when traces of bipolarism would make it hard for people to understand what I actually meant.

Jungkook's open-lipped smile is almost contagious. He tramples his way forward and stops just an inch further, towering over me.The all-black outfit was present even today but this time an apron adorns his slim waist.

"I am, " I simply add.

"Oh, I almost forgot. This is Kwan, " he says as he gestures toward the smiley man. "We've been working together since I can remember."

I flick my eyes to the latter and nod a salute at him. "You should've called this place 'Juan and Kwan'. Quite catchy, if you ask me."

The man named Kwan chuckles. "She's funny. Where did you find her, Jungkook?"

"Oh, I'm the one who found him, " I intervene. "Besides, we've met before. I'm the green tea girl."

His eyes slightly widen with a sense of realization as he nods along. Ironically enough, my stomach whines so loudly to the point where even Jungkook hears it. He points a finger at it. "You really need to shut that thing up."

I look down to my stomach and talk to it as if it were a real person. "Hey thing, shut up. Juan doesn't like the way you sound."

"Did you even eat anything on the way here? There are some cupcakes if you want, " Jungkook insists with the tone of a concerned mother.

"I'm not hungry, Juan. Must be uhh... my seven month-old baby."

Jungkook shakes his head in surrender and asks for me to follow him behind the same room he came from. My nervousness raises tenfold as a bunch of unpleasant thoughts immediately rush into my brain. If I didn't get this job, I could say goodbye to normalcy. I would fall down the hole dug by my own hands and never come back out. All the hard work of these past months out in the trash.

"Don't worry, " Jungkook reassures. "You'll do great."

~ JUNGKOOK ~

She was bursting with joy. It was like her face had been washed in the late afternoon sunlight, illuminating its every corner. She wasn't ridiculously beautiful or anything like that but there was something so captivating about watching that smile brighten up her features like a glorious sunrise, I could barely keep myself from staring.

However, one thing I learned about her was that she really knew how to celebrate. Her hands are struggling to hold all the groceries she'd gotten at the supermarket. Well...if you could call them groceries. All I could see were tons of candies and deserts and all sorts of sugary stuff able to furnish a dozen sweet-toothed five year-olds.

 But the thing that baffled me the most is that she'd invited me at her place to thank me for the new job. I thought after all the fights she'd put up to keep me far and away she wouldn't give in so easily. Guess I'd been wrong.

"I thought you said you weren't hungry. " I watch her chew on a chocolate-covered donut that gave me diabetes just by looking at it.

"If there's one thing you need to know about me, Juan, is that I change my mind way too often, " she mumbles in between mouthfuls.

"Yeah I can see that, " I add.

"Hey, shut up now, will you? We need to celebrate!"

"By eating trash?"

"They say you are what you eat, " she replies.

I angrily grab the grocery bags from her hands and let her lead the way to her apartment. "Don't call yourself that. "

The jokes she constantly jabbed could be hilarious to someone else but they just did not sit well with me. I only found them as extremely self-deprecating and dark. It was the go-to type of thing for the depressed and people were so used to normalizing them, it was hard to point it out from time to time.

Her mouth pauses chewing as she gives me a hard but harmless stare.  "Fuck, don't do that to me."

"Do what?" 

The deep sigh she lets out through her nose tickles my eyelashes. She stops in front of the door and leans her back on it. "You keep being nice even when I annoy you."

"You don't annoy me, " I say quietly.

"Yes I do. I annoy everyone." Another sigh. "You know, Juan, all my life I've been treated like a joke. Yeah, I joke around a lot so I'll get joked at. Understandable. But like, no one has treated me the way you do before. You listen to what I have to say and give me honest answers and most importantly, you are serious when you need to be."

"Isn't that how everyone is supposed to be?"

"No. If I told someone I'm feeling sad they'll laugh at my face 'cause they think I don't have the right to feel anything."

"Well, fuck them, " I snap.

Her jaw almost drops to the floor. "Woah! I've never heard you swear before. That was low-key hot. Do it again."

I scratch the back of my head in discomfort and fumble with the edge of my T-shirt. Out of all the things she could've said..."Um...shit?"

The disappointment washes over her face as she scoffs and shakes her head disapprovingly. "Fucking rookie".

It is quiet for a few moments, save for the slight creak of the yellow door opening wide enough to finally offer me a front seat view of her apartment. I'd been strangely curious about what it would look like, eager to get to know more about where she lived, where she slept, what things the was interested in and no matter the weird turn my thoughts had taken I couldn't help but crave for more.

She lets me pass the threshold and takes the grocery bags from me to put them on the kitchen counter. The place reeked of lemons, their acrid stench filling the air to the point where it made my nose itch. I spot a few loose skins and other remnants by the table.Except for that, everything looked pretty much normal. Plain and bare of excessive decorations but I could see that she'd made efforts into putting her own preferences out in the open, littering the walls and ceiling. She liked minimalism, I could see.

"Did you throw a lemonade party last night?" I ask with the tiniest bit of chuckle tumbling from my mouth.

Her eyes flick to the evidence and I sense something I'd never witnessed so boldly in them before. Panic. "Oh, t-that..." she nervously stutters but it's gone in a blink as she quickly gains her composure. "Just an experiment. I love science." I hum in agreement and eye the couch on my right. "Can I sit?"

"Yeah, yeah sure. Make yourself at home. But I have to warn you there's nothing on the fridge so you're left with these, " she says, giving the sweet goodies a single heave.

"Oreos, please." I stretch my hand across and a huge grin pulls at the edges of her lips. 

We spend the next few minutes sitting in silence, munching cavities away like they were our last meal. It was surprising to say that it did not for a moment feel weird nor awkward. We barely knew each other and yet we seemed like two old pals seeking comfort into each other's presence.

"My place sucks, doesn't it?" she suddenly asks.

"Not really, " I reply. "I think it's pretty."

A confused frown appears on her face as she keeps munching on a chocolate bar. "How come?"

"Well, beauty is subjective, Jojo. What looks pretty in my eyes may not be the same for you."

"Deep words for a teenager, " she mumbles.

"Look who's talking."

"Yeah, yeah..." She waves her hand dismissively but I don't miss the tiny smirk hidden in her cheeks.

The grocery bags start to slowly empty. I was worried she was gonna make herself sick with all the sugar already flowing in her body. 

She suddenly gets up and stretches, reaching with the tips of her fingertips up to the ceiling. Her hoodie rides up and I almost gasp in surprise. There are several marks littering the thin stripe of exposed skin, some dark, some purple and some turning yellowish. They made such a stark contrast with the pale white complexion that didn't exactly match the tone of her face. She'd obviously never worn anything too revealing, the sun rays far from tanning the skin. Before I can gawk my eyes out, it's gone in an instant when the hoodie falls back in place. 

"This shit's addicting, " she says pointing at the leftovers on the table.

I could only wonder if she really had more problems than she let on. From what I'd gathered, she'd subtly admitted to being a victim of domestic abuse but that was a long time ago, wasn't it? Why were there still fresh scars on her body? As if to add on to my assumption I take notice of her bandaged hand.

"Where's that friend you mentioned?" I ask. "Was it Annie...Ann?"

Her eyes flick back to mine. "You mean Anna? She's always here for some reason. I consider more like family, to be honest. Never leaves my side. Just not today." 

There was something fishy about the way Jojo's eyes turned glassy and distant every time she mentioned her friend. It kept rubbing me the wrong way.

I ask her to use the restroom and she shows me the way in a few curt gestures. As soon as I get inside, I am met with my distorted reflection on the mirror. A huge web blossomed into the side. Someone had cracked it, that part was fairly obvious. 

What the hell was wrong this girl?

I wash my hands mindlessly and return to the living room. Jojo sits on the couch, man-spreading like a fourty-year old man on his second divorce. She winces once or twice and exhales through her nose. " I think I ate too much, " she whines.

"You think?"

"It's all your fault. You're the one who convinced me to eat, " she accuses.

"Well, I certainly didn't tell you to eat junk." I join her on the couch from a fair distance as she sulks away the nausea.

"What happened to your mirror?" I softly ask.

"I punched it, " she answers without looking.

"Why?"

"There was a fly on it and it kept buzzing while I was taking a shit."

I didn't believe that for a second but I nod my head nonetheless. From that moment on, she only adds to the dark jokes and I pretend to fall for them. All until the moment I require permission to leave with the excuse of having to work again tomorrow.

 I can't deny the sick, empty feeling at the pit of my stomach when I watch her follow me with her sad stare as I leave the apartment .

~ JUNGKOOK ~

The days go by smoothly. It took a while for Jojo to get the hand of it, but soon enough, the orders look like mere tools in her hands, bending to her will. Thank goodness, she had the conscience not to lash out at rude customers even though I could see how hard she strained the muscles of her forearms by her sides. She was the first to arrive and the last to leave the coffee shop. All that and she still kept to her strict schedule, running every day at the crack of dawn. Every single day. Even I didn't work out that much.

I had to admit that my interest for her kept increasing more and more with every new detail I noticed. I was intrigued to find out more about her and I strangely found myself being pulled to her presence like a magnet. We'd continued our shared runs and conversations on each other's apartments more often than I remembered but there was still no progress on our status. Well, I once called her my friend and she didn't object to it so that must be a start.

"Well, someone's got a new crush."

I rip my eyes off Jojo's figure and come face to face with Kwan's amused stare. "What?"

"You like her, don't you?" Kwan teases further.

I sigh deeply and put my apron on the counter, ready for my lunch break. "I don't know, honestly, " I admit. "I'm not sure what it is, exactly."

"Listen, I know a crush when I see one and yours definitely is . Why don't you ask her out?"

"It's complicated."

Before Kwan can torture me with his long string of questions, Jojo stomps her way toward us with closed fists. "I swear to God if that bitch asks for a menu one more time..."

"Hey, hey we talked about this, " Kwan interferes. "Deep breaths. In and out."

She does what she's told a couple of turns and then rests her hand on her hip. "Nope. I'm still angry. I have to punch something."

"No violence in our workplace, Jojo."

She pouts in distaste and then suddenly her eyes land on mine. Her hand reaches out and points at my chin. "You got a little something.."

I dip my vision down only to be met with her index and middle finger giving my head a hard flick. She erupts in teasing giggles, soon joined by Kwan's booming laughter.

"Gotcha! Bro, I feel better already, " she says and gives Kwan a manly fist bump. I shake my head in surrender, a coy smile tugging at the corners of my lips and head for the room on the back. I hear the swish of Jojo's apron on the counter as she  soon falls into my steps. We had a ten minute break everyday and Jojo was never one to miss it, always deciding to share that precious time with me. She kinda ruined it with the jokes sometimes but I didn't really mind.

She offers me a slice of cucumber trapped on the sharp edge of her knife and I politely decline. She always did that, sharing food left and right even though most of the times it wasn't even that much to begin with.

"Wanna hangout after work?" I suddenly ask. I hadn't planned this at the slightest. It was like the words jumped right out of my throat. Sure, we'd hung out before but only on days off and certainly not on evenings.

She hesitates for a moment before chewing on the cucumbers. "Sure, why not? It's Sunday tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah, " I admit.

"Cool."

I try not to let the excitement show on my face as I finish the last bits of my lunch. The late afternoon takes longer than usual to arrive. By the end of the shift, I'd been itching to get the apron off. Jojo, on the other hand seems unbothered. For her it was probably just another day with the bane of her existence. She nudges her elbow into my side as we exit the doors together, throwing a glance at the bike by the side of the road. She would ride that thing here everyday even though the memories of the accident were still fresh. "I'll just leave it here tonight, " she says, as if reading my thoughts. "Don't wanna make your sorry ass struggle to keep up with me."

I give her a teasing light push and pull at a string on her hair. "Fuck off."

We go for a series of playful kicks and thrashes that turn milder and milder with every inch we come closer to my apartment. By the point we've reached the door, my poor hair is being twisted like a rope in her cruel hands. She really liked touching my hair. She kept saying she'd braid it or put it in a ponytail at least once before she died. Me on the other hand had scolded her for mentioning death in the first place.

"Ok, but you have to let me style it for you, " she insists, never dropping the issue.

"No, thank you. I like my hair the way it is, " I reply in feigned smugness.

"Asshole, " she mumbles under her breath.

"What?"

"I said Casserole. I'm craving some."

My eye creases soften on their own. "I can make it for you if you want."

"You know how?"

"No, but I can look it up online."

At that, a shy smile brushes  her features. "Nah, it's alright. I think about all sorts of food all the time. I'd probably change my mind after five minutes."

She plops down on the couch comfortably and groans when the bones of her back click to let her unwind. The way she'd grown more and more comfortable around me gave me this weird sense of satisfaction, as if I'd been seeking for that validation from the start. In fact, our whole situation was weird. I enjoyed her company and hopefully the feeling was mutual but there was still something missing. I didn't know exactly what but I certainly knew that deep down she was hiding a whole different personality.

My apartment had become so familiar to her, she doesn't hesitate to let me know without much further ado that she'd be using the restroom. But just before fully rising, she types something down on her phone with the utmost concentration. The only reason why it attracted my attention was the excessive amount of times she'd done that for today. And yesterday. And days before that. It would take one bite of her food and she'd immediately reach for her phone.

Did she use a calorie tracker?

I curse myself enough to damn my soul to hell for the rest of eternity but it still doesn't stop my hand from shakily grasping the phone lying on the couch. I draw the pattern I'd memorized from watching her unlock it all those times and just like that, the  Notes app lights back into life. My eyes widen with every single line I read.

Day 35 I fucked up today. I had three donuts for breakfast and pizza for dinner. The cravings are fucking horrible. Total : 1560 cals

I scroll down to some days back.

Day 34 I wouldn't say it's bad. I went for a run and had an apple afterwards. Take that Anna, you  whiny bitch! Total: 78 cals

There's a visible pattern in the notes; wins, losses,relapses. My eyes scan the screen speedily, fleeting through each letter and word.

Guess what? I fucked up again—

I hate myself—

I did not eat anything today! Nothing, I tell you! Haven't felt this empty since—

I so wanna die right now—

Please make it stop—

Day 71 No comment

Day 72 No comment

No comment

No comment

No comment—

"That's my phone, you know."

I raise my head to level my blown-out pupils with her calm ones. Unperturbed. Smooth like waves in a gentle breeze. She doesn't look angry to witness my shameless snooping, just disappointed. She knows that I know. It all makes sense now. The scars, the small meals, the excessive workouts...I feel a pang in my chest for being such a fool all this time.

I muster whatever courage left within me and rasp out the words. "Who exactly is Anna?"

~ JOJO ~

"She's a bitch."

"An imaginary bitch, " Jungkook emphasizes.

"Doesn't make her less of a bitch, " I mumble.

He has been giving me a cold yet sympathizing stare for the last five minutes but I knew that deep inside he was bashing himself for not knowing.

"It's short for Anorexia, " I clarify.

"How long has this been going on?" Jungkook continues. He didn't seem like giving up on the detective role anytime soon. Little did I know that he would fully embrace the title.

"Three years."

His head drops in his hands. He gives his pretty face a hard rub before turning it back towards me, eyes now laced with something similar to compassion.

"Why aren't you looking at me like that?" I ask him.

"Like what?"

"Like I'm some sort of freak."

"You're not a freak, " he grits between his teeth.

"But that's what everyone would say if I told them. I know they'll look at me differently."

"I'm not everyone."

He was right. He wasn't everyone. That's why I kept dropping hints on him with every chance I could get. I wanted him to know but then again I didn't want him to know. It was hard to explain.

Jungkook keeps his piercing stare on me, hoping to get a reaction. Then he pats the spot next to him on the couch as a few strands of hair fall into his eyes. It made him look so adorable, I decided right there and then I would do whatever he said. Just asking would be enough.

"What's it like?" he asks as soon as I make myself comfortable.

"My disorder?"

He nods.

I think for a few moments before answering. How was I supposed to to explain it? It had been by my side for such a long time, I didn't know how to tell my disease and myself apart.

"Well, to begin with, I'm fat."

Come on. Say it. Come on.

His eyebrows scrunch in disbelief. "No, you're not."

There you go.

"You look pretty normal to me, " he continues.

"Normal is just another word for "you're fat but I don't wanna say it in your face, " I spit and it only makes him look more confused. "Oh, come on. I bet the first thing that came to your mind when you thought about anorexia was a skinny pale girl looking at a mirror. See? I knew it. In people's eyes anorexia and non-skinny people do not correlate."

Jungkook looks embarrassed to say the least. I know he's trying his best to find a gentle way around me but the deep crimson of his cheeks doesn't make it any easier for him. "I—"

"Look, Juan. I don't wanna overwhelm you with my bullshit. I'm sick in the head, okay? The things I do are not cool and I don't want you to be part of it."

"I thought we were friends..." he whispers in a low voice.

"We are but—"

"Just explain it to me, please. I'll help you get rid of it."

He really had no idea. His gullible self couldn't understand that this was not just a disorder. It was a lifestyle and the only way I knew how to survive. I release a sigh of defeat and try to muster the most joyful tone. "Fine. You wanna know what it's like? I'll tell you what it's like. Every day, I get up from that bed with the sole purpose of starving. I don't want to eat. It's that simple. Now you're probably thinking: ' why the fuck aren't you dead yet?' That's because I can't starve correctly, Juan. I can't do shit."

Jungkook keeps his unwavering stare directed towards my face and hands that passionately make weird gestures from time to time. I notice something sparking within me, a small flare of anger and pent up frustration finally getting some release. Saying the words out loud was unnerving. I'd never imagined them anywhere but on the interiors of my head.

"Numbers are important. I can't tell the difference even if I lost some weight. That's why I use the scale everyday."

"What do you usually eat?" Jungkook carefully asks.

"Anything that has low calories in it. But it doesn't last long and I'll immediately eat junk food three times the amount. Starve. Binge. Starve. Binge. It's a vicious cycle."

"Why don't you try a healthy diet?"

I let out a humorless laugh. "Wow, you're richer than I thought."

He blinks. "What? Why?"

"Healthy diets are expensive, dumbass. Ever wondered how rich people have those avocado diets and that type of shit? But that's just an excuse. The real reason is that I lack will."

"If you lacked will, you'd be dead by now."

"That's where I'm heading."

His head falls in his hands again and those pretty smooth lips mumble under his fingers. "You're not satisfied with your body?"

"Not satisfied is an understatement. I hate my body. It's hard to explain actually. I don't want to be sick to the point where I can't even stand but I don't want to be curvy either , you know what I mean? Its like I want a thin body but then I see a muscular one and I'm like ooh I want that one too and I don't know..."

Jungkook's eyes seem to sparkle on that. "So, you want a lean muscular body?

"Yes."

"That's not so hard to achieve."

I put up my best fake surprised-expression. "No shit, sherlock. Why didn't you just say so? You would've saved me from a lot of trouble."

"Fuck you, " he grumbles.

"I'm already fucked for life my man."

His deep sigh tickles my face. "You're impossible. How can you joke about this?"

"Then what am I supposed to do? Cry about it? Trust me, I've tried that a lot of times. It won't do shit. If I laugh about it, it won't be as shitty, " I add. "But jokes aside, it's not just about being thin. Its also about being in control, being aware of your own body. I feel so angry and frustrated  every time I lose my streak."

To my surprise, he smirks in such an inappropriate way, it paints his face in a whole new canvas . "Don't worry. There are some situations where control just isn't needed."

I almost choke on my spit. Jungkook, being audacious? Well that was new. "Feeling bold, Juan?" I tease.

"Maybe, " he admits but now it had turned into what seemed like a shy smile. I try to latch onto that glimpse of humor and normalcy in hopes of taming the wild turns and takes of our conversation. But just when I thought I'd taken hold of it, Jungkook jumps into a new question. "What else can you tell me?"

I highly doubted I would be able to spill the contents of my soul in such a short time but if he was so hellbent on knowing more, knowing he would get." I can tell you a lot of things but I can also guarantee they're not pleasant."

He doesn't even blink.

"Fine. You asked for it." I pause. " I've been like this for three years now and it has only gotten worse as time passed. I already know what you've seen online and what you think eating disorders are. Trust me, it's bullshit. Don't believe the shit they give you. Do you know how many overweight people are anorexic? A whole bunch of them but if they tell anyone about it they'll get laughed at 'cause apparently anorexia exist only for skinny white girls. A lot of guys have it too. But they call it cutting back some pounds when they hit the gym. No way that's unhealthy, right? Totally justified. It's all just a big pile of shit. There's nothing cute or romantic about it. You know what's funny? I can go for days without taking a shit but I'll pee every two hours. I drink so much water to the point where it makes me sick. I never get warm. I take every single bite counting numbers in my head and wondering how I'll burn it off later, I spin in circles to make myself sick just so I won't be able to eat, I measure my waist three times a day and I feel like fainting every time I get up. I hurt myself 'cause I don't like what I see."

I feel that familiar ball of imaginary yarn settle to the base of my throat but I push it back down just as fast. Not now. Anytime but now.

Jungkook's eyes glint with sadness. He gulps once before lowering his vision and choosing to stare at the hands resting on his lap. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, " I reply. " It's not your fau—"

His hand shoots out to capture my own. A thousand tiny electric sparkles tingle up my arm. Maybe it's the lack of contact or just the knowledge that it's him but the way his warm palm fits into mine feels so right and I can't move it away for the life of me. His thumb brushes lightly across my knuckles. "I'm not pitying you, okay?" he says in a gentle voice. "I would never pity you. I just don't want to see you like this."

I lift my eyes to his own and stare at him like he was a glass statue, pouring some of his brightness on me. I didn't understand why he hadn't kicked me off yet. And to think that I was enjoying it...

Jungkook observes the slight tremor of my hand in his, which I'm desperately trying to hide and a subtle smile graces his lips. "You're touch starved, " he murmurs. Not in a malicious way. Not mocking me for it. Just stating things out in the open. It was the quality I liked the most about him.

"Physical contact is a luxury to me," I admit.

"It shouldn't be. You're human."

"I'm not even sure about that anymore."

The smile stretches wider as his nimble fingers intertwine with my trembling ones in a gentle, yet firm grip.

"Is this okay?" he questions, eyes set on the motion.

"No, but carry on."

It all felt like a guilty pleasure, like those sweet candies your mother keeps hiding from you and when you do find them, the taste is but absolute bliss. A forbidden fruit. I knew I shouldn't be leading him anywhere and spoil his peaceful life with my problems but I couldn't make myself pull back either. I was all of a sudden caught up between two fires that would scorch me and themselves in the end. Pushing people away or letting them in the confines of my chaos. I would lose either way.

I put on my best unperturbed mask to make it known I wasn't affected at the very least but just like that, his other hand slides up to my elbow and locks it in place. His deep look burns with something I can't quite decipher. "Can I kiss you?" he suddenly asks.

I freeze for a split second but try to shake it off with an intentional raise of my eyebrow. "Why?"

"I want to, " he breathes.

I was torn between slapping some sense into him and laughing my ass off but I do neither. My posture stays unmoving, waiting. "Do you really want to?" I ask again.

"Yeah, " he confesses and I catch his eyes glancing down to my lips.

I shrug. "Okay."

I've barely gotten the word out when he closes the small distance in a matter of seconds. A hand latches onto my jaw to angle it better and that's where I feel the soft, plushy texture of his lips come into contact with mine. They're so delicate and move so gently, I feel like I've ascended into time and space. I let his bangs tickle my cheekbones because it obscured his eyes from view and I didn't want to witness the reality of it.

Before I can dwell longer on them, he pulls back, forming the smallest of distances. His pupils are blown out, dark eyes staring with something more than just interest. I take notice of my fist bunching up the T-shirt he's wearing. Apparently, I hadn't been able to block out all my reactions.  I release the material immediately and rise to my feet. A quick glance at the window showed that it was already dark.

"Good night, " I chirp and grab my phone resting on the table, heading speedily for the door.

Jungkook panicks and stands up just as fast. "Wait, where are you going?"

"Home," I reply.

His eyebrows bunch up in confusion yet again. "You can't just go like that after I kissed you."

"Watch me."

In less than four strides I've crossed the threshold and shut the door behind me with a thump. People were right when they said you couldn't see yourself blush but you could feel it. My whole face felt like it was on fire, an uncomfortable warmth spreading equally up to the tips of my ears. Who the fuck even blushes anymore?

I smack my lips in annoyance as I make my way down the stairs in a newfound rush. I cant deny it. I liked the kiss. Maybe a little too much. In fact I wanna go back there and steal the breath out of his lips. But I can't. It was a one time thing. And it will remain that way. Or at least I hoped so.

~ JUNGKOOK ~

Anorexia nervosa, often referred to simply as anorexia, is an eating disorder characterized by low weight, food restriction, fear of gaining weight, and a strong desire to be thin. Many people with anorexia see themselves as overweight even though they are, in fact, underweight.

Sleep is far from reach as I keep scrolling down page after page of the same generic description. Countless of pics of young girls with ribs and bones sticking out of their pale skin had been more than enough to make my own skin crawl, the after-images blazed forever behind my eyelids. She was right— they all said the same thing but I'd always known that no matter what what was said, you couldn't really  understand something without experiencing it yourself first hand.

I put my laptop aside and lay down on the warm comfort of my bed. Even though I'd willed my eyes shut, sleep just wouldn't come. She kept busying my head with all kinds of thoughts— thoughts of her disorder, thoughts of what she was doing right now and the memory of her soft lips on mine. I keep replaying that exact moment like a loop, feeding off my imagination like a middle-schooler. She'd acted like she barely gave a shit but there was no mistakening the furious blush that had fallen across her nose and cheeks all the way to the tips of her ears. It looked surprisingly adorable on her, different from any type of reaction I'd gotten in exchange.

I roll over the other side of the bed and smash the back of my head on the pillow. I'm such an asshole. And she's no better either. How can you just leave after someone kisses you?

I leave my mind pondering to these thoughts as my eyelids slowly start to weigh down on me. But just when I'm about to pass out cold, a dark figure intrudes the corner of my eye, causing my body to turn upright.

Jojo's standing by the threshold, dressed up in what looked like loose see-through sleeping clothes. The material fell in graceful waves from the hems and pooled around her ankles. It felt weird not seeing her dressed up in her usual tomboy look but I was enjoying the view nonetheless. Her hair drapes over her shoulder and hides a part of her face, the rest of it, illuminated by the moonlight seeping from the drawn-back curtains. It looked like she'd just awoken, eyes mussed up with sleep but still focused on my form. She stares deeply at me, as if waiting for something.

All traces of exhaustion now wiped clean, I push myself up on my elbows and return the stare. How had she gotten here this late? Did she know my password?

She saunters over to the bed in such a seductively delicate manner but yet it was so subtle, I doubted whether she did it on purpose or not. Her left knee touches the duvet first, making the bed dip slightly under her weight. Then she leans her palm facing down and proceeds to come closer and closer on all fours like a predator targeting its prey. I was like a deer caught in the headlights in the most cliché sense of the word. I kept observing her movements with silent adoration and the more I tried to look away, the harder my eyes seemed to fixate on her approaching form. At some point she's sitting so close to me that I can feel her soft breath fluttering my eyelashes. She slowly tilts her head and gives me a look of mild curiosity, as if puzzled by my existence there altogether.

"Can I touch you?" she softly asks. Her dark orbs bore into mine, waiting for my answer. Such a sheer persuasion is held inside of them that I find myself gulping audibly before nodding without a moment's notice. She comes impossibly closer, almost attaching her body into mine and then raises a hand up to my hair, the small fingers playfully twirling the dark locks. I then notice her own hair falling in curtains in front of her face, slightly obscuring her eyes from view. It makes her look even more mysterious and alluring, I can barely resist the urge to tuck a string back behind her ear.

"Can I do more than just touch you?" she asks again and this time the movement of her hand slows into a halt. The edges of her lips pull slightly  in a teasing manner and seem to merge into a coy smile.

My heart starts beating like crazy. I can feel it accelerate into a manic pace as it pulses with an unfaltering heat underneath my fingertips. I muster whatever air left in my lungs and whisper the words in a breeze. "Whatever you'd like."

That's all the approval she needs. She tilts her head on the side and lets the tip of her nose brush my earlobe. The breath she lets go draws from me an involuntary shudder that washes over my body; from the top of my head and down to my toes.

I fist the sheets to the point where it hurts. I wanted to touch her too, to feel her and to breathe her in. But I don't. I decide to let her be the one in control, to let her know that just a word tumbling from her lips would be enough to give her all of me. All that I had.

She drags those sinful lips along the side of my neck painfully slow and then puts her legs on each side of my hips, straddling them. And then she kisses me. Even though barely a peck, it burns scolding hot and causes my lips to burst into a heap of tingles.

My hands find their way into her waist, digging through the material but she stops me with her own and gives my chest a light push. I try to relax and let my back lower till it finally makes contact with the sheets. She hovers above me, graceful strings of hair tickling my neck as she attacks my lips again with bruising strength.

That's when I feel it. My shirt being lifted. Her cold fingertips, in stark contrast with my ridiculously hot skin, leave goosebumps in their wake. I try to reach with my hands and help her get it off but she grabs them and puts them back down. "Don't. I'll do it for you."

She resumes her previous action and sweeps my shirt completely off but not before making sure those nimble fingers slide along my skin with an added pressure. I let her. I let her do whatever she wants with me. She can have me.

I pray silently with my eyes for her to kiss me again and surprisingly, she understands. But this time I can't help the small whine coming deep from the back of my throat as she dips her head down and lets her tongue swipe a sensitive stripe on my neck. I'm scared the sheets will rip into shreds from how hard I'm twisting them.

She doesn't stop. Only goes lower and lower with open-mouthed kisses, down my chest, through the ridges of my abs, all the way to my navel. She stops there and the hard muscle of her tongue moves in a way that makes me gasp out loud. I shut my eyes tight.

When I open them again, the pressure on my tummy slowly dissipates. I drag my eyes to my front but there's no one there. Just the open window swaying the curtains and the entirety of my room swallowed by semi-darkness.

She's not here. It was just a dream.

I sit up on my bed and drag a hand to my face, rubbing it hard to pull myself together. What the hell just happened? I hate myself even more for the fact that I wish it wasn't a dream. I let my head fall back with a thump into the pillows and notice the uncomfortable heat at the bottom of my stomach. "Holy shit, " I whisper.

~ JOJO ~

Sometimes even the most colorful butterflies in your stomach cannot stop the tears from falling. Me, like the miserable human being I was, had cried myself to sleep last night instead of hopping cheerfully around my room. Jungkook's shut eyes and the serene expression on his face when he'd put his lips on mine had only made me wallow into self-doubt even more than usual. Did he actually mean it or had it just been a reflex, something to pass the time? I felt as if I didn't deserve any of the things he offered me, regardless of his intentions. But fuck, did I want to have him. Fuck. I'd never met a more perfect person with all of those tiny imperfections that actually made him real and whole.

That perfect smile that puts all of his pearly white teeth on display shines bright even know as he notices me entering the shop but I don't fail to detect the eyes that shy away in embarrassment. How cute.

"Hey, " he tries to hold the grin from spreading across his face as he scratches his neck awkwardly.

"Hey yourself, " I reply with forced nonchalance. It doesn't work. I fall under the scrutiny of his eyes as he can tell something's off.

"Your eyes are red, " he states matter of factly.

"Last time I checked they were brown."

His face falls. "Don't give me that shit."

Wow. That kiss had definitely given him some confidence. As far as I remembered, swearing was something he found hard to do unless absolutely necessary. Was I getting to him already?

Preparing to start the work, I click my tongue and move into an arc around his back.  I let the silence fill the empty slots, too tired to come up with some lame excuse when suddenly, the presence of warm fingers greets the skin of my elbow. I look down to see Jungkook's hand on it, eyes brimmed with genuine worry, something I hadn't seen in a long time. "Is everything alright?" he questions and the words alone make the butterflies in my stomach almost turn into pigeons. "You left all of a sudden last night."

The angle on which he bends his neck to level his eyes with mine makes them stand out so adorably, so bright and full of life, I can barely hold a squeal from ripping out of my throat. He was just standing there in all his glory and looking at me like I was the thing he cared about the most. Maybe I was. Did it sound too far-fetched?

I slowly reach up and twirl one of his dark locks on my forefinger, letting it drag to the side of his cheek as I give it a small poke. I hear the breath that hitches on his throat and it only spurs me on even more. "Why? Did you miss me?"

He doesn't back down, eyes boring into mine with an intensity that deserved some recognition. They occasionally flicker down to my lips and I already know what passes through his mind at this moment.

Someone clears their throat.

I immediately put some distance, eyes dragging to the new intruder only to find Kwan staring at us both with a shit-eating grin. He was gonna use this to blackmail us, I was sure about that but I couldn't care less. Not when Jungkook's eyes follow me without failing as I backtrack a few steps.

"He had something in his hair, " I explain with a faint gesture. Kwan's grin grows impossibly larger but he doesn't say anything, deciding instead to grab one of the glasses and wipe it raw, a habit more than out of intention.

I ignore his teasing remarks for the rest of the day and watch Jungkook's prying eyes from the corner of my vision. He'd throw a glance my way with every chance he got and without even being subtle about it. When it's time for our lunch break, his stare becomes so bashful, I can't help but stare back with an offended glare.

"You're doing it again, " he says before I can part my lips.

"Doing what? " I ask.

"Putting a mask on your face. It's funny but it's bullshit."

More swearing. Was it really possible to change someone for the worst with a few words? The last thing I wanted was for him to follow into my steps.

"There's no need to act cool all the time. If you're not okay, you can just say so." His hands fumble with the edges of his lunch box, fingers scraping at it out of nervousness. "You can say it to me, " he adds more softly. " I'll listen."

"Hey, its not that big of a deal, " I wave him off.

"Not that big of a deal?" he mimicks. "You can die."

"So? What's it to you?"

Jungkook sighs deeply. "Jojo—"

"Are you gonna feed me the classic love yourself bullshit?" I interrupt him before he has the chance to say the words I've heard being trumpeted so many times. "Cause there's no need for that. I already love myself. I mean, sure I would jump off a cliff if I could but I love living. I love life to death."

I'm pretty sure that so called mask he mentioned was glowing with pride right now. Even though deep down I knew it felt wrong, I still—

"You do this on purpose, don't you?" I turn my eyes to him only to see a smug expression that looked so foreign and uncharacteristic on his face. "I know what you're doing. You act rude and sassy and uncaring to fend people off so they won't get attached to you because you think your presence alone harms them." He leans forward with his elbows on his knees and his face floats mere inches from mine. "Isn't that right?"

When I don't answer back, his hands cup my knees as he leans so impossibly close that I can count all the dark brown flecks in his eyes. "Hate to break it to you but you can try as much as you want. You're not getting rid of me so easily."

His husky voice brings a smile on my face and I still make no move to put his hands away. "Oh, I can get rid of you. I just don't want to."

~ JUNGKOOK ~

"What do you mean you don't want to? I thought you liked hanging around with me?"

"It's late, Juan."

Jojo grabs the handles of her bike and turns it around in a semi-circle but before she can hop on the seat, I give her hoodie a pull and take over. From the moment I start pedaling, she sighs in exasperation. "Dude, come on, give it back."

"I'm not taking no for an answer, " I quickly reply. "I'm making chicken breasts tonight. Low calorie. You have to come over."

Jojo slowly catches up and we move like that for a while; her walking and me on the bike. It felt strangely relieving to have a moment of peace after a long and exhausting workday. I close my eyes and let the sun rays bask on my face with their warm texture. From the silence that follows, I suppose she's left with no other choice but to give in.

"Watcha thinking about?" I hear her ask after a few moments.

I open my eyes and turn my head towards her. "You."

She snorts. "You've stepped up your game, my man. Glad to see some progress."

"I learned from the best."

"Nah, I'm pretty sure you were already popular with the ladies way before you met me."

The soles of my feet touch the concrete and I force the bike into a halt. "What makes you say that?"

"Well, " Jojo grins, "there's a girl behind us staring at your asscheeks–"

I choke on my spit.

"–and I mean like I can't exactly blame her because your ass is really looking pretty puffed up in that seat–"

"Anywaaaays, " I drag the word long enough to make her stop and proceed to flick my chin on the side. "Let me give you a ride."

Jojo's whole face dismorphs as her lips twist into a barely contained smile. It takes me a while to get the dirty reference. "Oh come on, " I yell out of frustration. "A ride. On a bike. Here on the street. Out in the ope–"

"Yeah, yeah. Just scoot over."

I do as I'm told and not a moment longer, Jojo tries to get comfortable on the back seat. However, I had a better idea. "Hey, why don't you pass to the front?"

Jojo peeks over my shoulder. "No. We'll fall if I do that."

"No, we won't, " I insist. "Just trust me. I'll keep you safe."

I don't know if those words struck a cord within her because she looks genuinely caught off guard with those big sparkly eyes staring at me in earnest. That's where I understood.

Words have power.

I could help her turn things around for the better. I could help her get back to normal. I could do all of these things and more if only she would crack the door of her soul open just an inch to let me in.

"Okay, " she finally answers in a tone much softer than usual. I scoot back and let her sit on the bike's supporting rod.

"Ugh, my ass is gonna be bruised like hell by the time we get there, " Jojo whines and squirms in discomfort.

Chuckling, I give the pedals a push and soon fall into a constant rhythm. Unfortunately for Jojo, it is hard to keep the balance so she is forced to hold onto my shirt. She barely touches it though. "Oh God."

"What?"

"Don't tell me this is one of those cliché supposedly romantic moments where the girl almost falls and they look into each other's eyes and shit like that."

I keep my eyes on the road. "I mean, it's not so dramatic to begin with. We're just chilling. And for the record, we did kiss so I don't see how just looking at each other can be such a big deal."

"Can't believe you pulled that card on me."

"You deserved it, " I reply in a smug tone.

After another moment of comfortable silence, Jojo's arms snake around my waist and the side of her head leans back on my chest. It feels like holding a baby, warming my body up with the presence of blood and life flowing underneath the skin.

For fear of scaring her away, I decide not to add any teasing remarks on why she changed her attitude in a matter of seconds, despite how tempting it was. If that loneliness she constantly felt was reduced even by a fraction, my job was done.

"Are you sleepy?" I carefully ask.

Her arms squeeze me even tighter. When she rubs her cheek affectionately on the front of my shirt, I fight the urge to erupt into giggles. "No, " she answers. "Just tired."

It would only take some time. Just a little bit more time and all her exhaustion would ripple away with no traces in her body or mind. This was my job from now on.

~ JOJO ~

It wasn't exactly his job to nurture me like a newborn baby but I couldn't deny the fact that I liked this new attention. I'd always tried not to feed my narcisstic side too much but it was a pleasant surprise to find out that someone other than Ana acknowledged my existence. These are the thoughts spinning round my head as I stare at the tiny bow of Jungkook's apron tied up at the small of his back. Or at least that's what I was supposed to be looking at because for the past fifteen minutes, my eyes had been trying not to drag down on the voluptuous planes of his ass that stuck painfully tight to the black jeans he was wearing. It's like the sucker was doing it on purpose, keeping his back to me the whole time.

"I really can't blame that girl for staring at you earlier, " I wonder out loud after the uncomfortable silence becomes unbearable. "With jeans that tight, you're asking for it, my man."

Upon hearing the words, Jungkook turns around with a spatula on one hand and a look of confusion on his face. "Isn't that what men usually say to women?"

"Exactly. But there are way less chances for a man to be sexually harassed by a woman, now isn't there? So don't come at me with that equality bullshit."

A small, understanding smile creeps up on the side of Jungkook's lips and in contrast to my words, it really seems genuine. "True. But that still doesn't make it okay." He turns back to flipping the chicken breasts on the pan.

I sigh. "Yeah, alright. Sorry for complimenting your ridiculously gorgeous butt—"

A snort.

"— but I won't hesitate to slap that shit if you piss me off, Juan. And I won't do it in a kinky way."

At that, Jungkook fully turns around, places the fresh meal onto the table and hurriedly  takes a seat. "You're into that sort of thing?"

"Nah, man. I like being normal."

"Normal? You?" Jungkook cocks an eyebrow, the emphasis on the word clearly intentional. I understood that something like that was to be expected from people but it didn't mean it didn't secretly hurt my feelings. Being always ousted as the weird one took a mental toll on you and if you ever tried to blend in, it would only make you stand out more.

I let out a noise of impatience. "Listen, here Juan. I might be sick as fuck but my life doesn't revolve around my disorder. I have favorite hobbies and colors and that kind of shit."

"Is it black?" Jungkook jumps in, suddenly curious.

"Navy blue, but that's not the point."

"I know it isn't." He sighs wistfully.  "Sorry, Jojo. The only reason I said that is because every five seconds you try to assert your dominance so I assumed your preferences on that particular side were a bit...freakish." His expression is halfway between apologetic and entertained and he seems torn between the two.

Curse my dumbass brain for ever acting on impulse.

I scratch the back of my head in discomfort and avert his eyes. "Okay. Okay, I get it. I jumped too fast to conclusions–" I lean my elbow on the table, "–but that's because I'm very athletic."

Jungkook deadpans.

After another uncomfortable silence settles in and after Jungkook realizes he's not getting another word from me, he absentmindedly taps the table with his fingertips. " By the way, same for me, " he mumbles.

"Huh? " I logically reply.

"I have the same preferences as you." He raises his head and looks at me dead in the eye. "Normal."

At this point, I had no idea why we'd decided to reveal our sexual preferences for absolutely no reason but it had come to that. Crazy, right? Me and emo-boy pouring our hearts out to each other...

"So, " Jungkook interrupts my train of thought as he starts chewing on the fresh chicken pieces. "You seem like a competitive person."

"I guess you could say that, " I hum in agreement.

"Well, I have another proposal."

"Like I said, it's too early for me to get married."

The expression he makes as he tries to keep the food from spilling  almost causes me to burst out laughing. Even after he's successfully managed to breathe in some air, the faint traces of a phantom smile are still visible.

"I meant a challenge. For you. A bet, to be more exact. Do you like bets?"

"I do, actually."

"Well then. We'll play a game of tic-tac-toe. The rules are simple. If you win, I'll do everything you want for the rest of the day. Now....if I win....." A devilish grin stretches on one side of his face. "You'll practically do whatever I ask you to. It's the same for both cases."

"What's the catch?"

Jungkook leans back in his chair and links his hands on the back of his head. " There's no catch. I like games, that's all."

The satisfied, confident expression he was wearing made it clear that this was not just a simple game. I was sure as hell he had something up his sleeve but that didn't turn me off nor made me back down. Why not let the guy have his own fair share of fun? However, that didn't mean I couldn't at least give things a little twist.

"Okay, then. Take your shirt off."

This time Jungkook really can't help but choke on his chicken breasts, sputtering pieces of food everywhere. One of them barely misses my face.

"What the fuck! Why?" he screeches, hands wildly attempting to clean the mess.

I slowly drift into a smile. "Relax, pretty boy. We're playing the game on your abs.

~ JOJO ~

"This is stupid."

"You're stupid. Now shut up."

Jungkook gives me one last incredulous look before pulling the shirt completely over his head. In all honesty, the sight was to drool for. That swirling tattoo I'd always caught a glimpse of, is now clearly displayed on one part of his chest and on his left side, reaching up to his neck and down to his hipbone. I try to keep my composure as best as I can but some of my facial expressions must have been on point because Jungkook seems to start feeling uneasy. He shifts his weight from foot to foot and scratches the back of his head. I almost feel bad for lightly snorting but then I think better of it.  After all, I was allowed to have some harmless fun, right? No biggie.

The ridges of Jungkook's magnificent abdominal muscles come into view as he slowly approaches. His posture is a bit stiff, however. The guy was trying his best to suck his stomach in, in hopes of flaunting his slim waist in the most perfect angle.

"Stop flexing, Juan." I say in a monotonous voice. "I already know you're ripped. "

Caught in the act, he shyly smiles and lowers his eyes. "Sorry."

The smile only grows further when I use a marker to draw the lines for the game on his stomach. He squirms and twitches with every flick of my wrist. Apparently, ticklish was another adjective to add onto the dictionary of my names for him.

After a rough sketch is drawn on his tummy, Jungkook gestures for me to make the first move. "Ladies first, " he says with a grin that almost looked pained. His eyes follow my hand that had been finishing the last touches.

I draw an X.

He draws an O.

We move back and forth, exchanging the marker every time, until I realize.

I'm fucked.

He had me cornered in both rows. Wherever I put my next mark, I would still lose. It was an old technique that everyone had used at some point but my dumb ass had fallen right into the trap. But was I really to blame with him looking at me like that?

Jungkook chuckles. "I win."

Fuck. I'm screwed.

"Looks like you're gonna be my servant for the rest of the day. " He throws a careless glance at the windows, pitch dark background already behind them. "Or should I say, night?"

I sit back down on the chair and man-spread in defeat. "Fine. You won. Congratulations. Now what do you want me to do?"

He doesn't even hesitate, his voice as clear as glass. "Kiss me."

I stare at him in disbelief but it didn't seem like there had been a slip of the tongue. He was dead serious with those hooded eyes and the fact that he hadn't even put his shirt back on was for some reason unnerving.

A scoff escapes from me. "Out of all the things you could've asked.... I thought you were gonna make me clean your kitchen or something."

"Oh ,we have plenty of time for that, " Jungkook replies with a newfound smugness.

I mull it over in my head for a second before slowly rising from the chair. He leans forward in anticipation and it's as if his every fiber feels ready to pounce in action.

I honestly found it hard to comprehend the concept behind all of this. Out of all the nice looking girls out there, he found a dirty looking rag called me? Me?!

I give my head a slight shake and reach up with the tips of my toes. I listen to Jungkook's breathing stagger for a moment, only to be released with disappointment when I touch my lips to the side of his cheek, furthest from his two plumps of pink rosy flesh. Jungkook's expression looks slightly annoyed as I pull back, observing the ruins left in my wake.

"That's not exactly what I was thinking, " he laughs to himself, half out of disappointment half out of disbelief.

"You never specified where to kiss you, " I explain.

There had been nothing forcing me to act the way I did. Absolutely no one but myself yet I still felt like something was missing. Like I wasn't enough for him or any other person. My mind kept lying to itself, in the hopes that if I could avoid being too touchy, he probably would forget about me altogether.

Jungkook, bless his soul, gets rid of the awkwardness in a moments's notice, his cheeks puffed up in what resembled a pout. "You played me good, huh?" he huffs and I hold the urge to laugh like a little girl. It felt weirdly cute to see him so worked up over a small rejection when he could make any girl fall in his arms with just a snap of his fingers.

I lower my voice in a mockingly deep baritone. "What are your next orders, my lord?"

Jungkook smiles.

* * *

After that, it's hell hours for me.

It's like he had been waiting for this chance all this time and now that the flood gates were open, he couldn't afford to waste any buckets of water. From cleaning to organizing to heaps and heaps of orders, Jungkook had been vastly generous. And the worst part was that I had to eat my next meal with him and not even dare think about counting calories. He would purposefully mess up the portions and make it impossible for me to calculate. As if I didn't already have a hard time doing that on the daily...

At one point I was even scolded for counting in my head because apparently, the genius had noticed my eyes moving upwards in circular motions as the food lay down in front of me.

In other words I was utterly fucked. The anxiety of not knowing what I was putting inside my body, of having no perception of numbers or weight scared the shit out of me and if it hadn't been for Jungkook's  appreciative glances or encouraging words, I would've said goodbye a long time ago. With him it felt a little less guilty, less of a sacrilege.

"Just don't think about it, " he'd said to me and even though it was one of the most conventional phrases you could think of, coming from him felt different. As if there was an actual purpose behind the words.

"What's next?" I ask in a dead-sounding voice after finishing the rest of the dishes. " A hand-job?"

Jungkook raises his eyebrows in sudden amusement, his expression shamelessly entertained. "As tempting as that sounds, I think I'll settle for a massage for now."

I drag my eyes to his still bare torso and motion for him to lay down on the couch. "Good. 'Cause I wouldn't give you a hand-job even if you threatened to throw me off the balcony."

Jungkook's laugh is muffled by the pillows as he turns his sculpted back to me. "I like how you have no shame."

"Shame is for the weak, " I add.

My fingers work tirelessly on the smooth planes of his skin, pushing and pressing on specific points which I knew would grant him relief. The way he tries to hide satisfied grunts makes me feel light-headed but I bite my tongue and will my creative mind to take it down a notch, focusing on the task at hand. Maybe it was the fact that I hadn't had so much physical contact in a long time. Who knew? It was still an enjoyable sight, what with all the tattoos gracing his beautiful bronze skin in long shapes and lines.

"You're really good at this, " Jungkook grunts after a particularly hard press of my hands on the small of his back, even though to me it sounded more like a moan. He folds his arms at his front and leans his head sideways.

"I am?" I question as a smile already pulls at the corners of my lips.

"Yeah, " he agrees.

"Well, to return the compliment, I really like your tattoos."

Jungkook turns around and lays on his back, staring at me under his long eyelashes. He doesn't utter a single word, just keeps looking at me like he would a statue in a museum, his fringe falling between his eyes but leaving enough space for him to see. My hand is left to linger on the velvety skin of his stomach.

"Most people say they look scary, " he says in a low, raspy voice.

"They're not, " I add and trace a curved black line with the tips of my fingers in reassurance.

Jungkook gently grabs the said hand, still not losing eye contact. "Are you scared of me, Jojo?"

"No. I'm not."

A silence falls in the room, its echo almost deafening but this time there's no discomfort, no weird looks, just the consoling presence of each other that hangs in the air like a halo of light. Then–

"Juan, I think I'm starting to catch feelings for you."

He stops himself from smiling, but it's useless. The smug grin had already made it past his lips. "Yeah, me too."

"Hmmm, " I mutter. "How do we make it stop?"

Jungkook slowly rises in a sitting position, that damned expression still visible on his face. "I don't–  I don't think it's something you can stop."

" Aw shit man, " I scoff.

"Yeah, you just gotta go with the flow."

I'm positive there's a subtle irritated look on my face, which to Jungkook apparently looked hilarious. This had never happened before and I didn't know what exactly to expect. Was it normal? Was I going to be hurt again? What the fuck was I supposed to do?

"You're overthinking it. There's no need to put a name on your feelings." Jungkook cuts like a knife through my jumbled thoughts. "Besides, I thought we were talking about my tattoos."

"Right, " I confirm. " Is there a meaning behind them?"

"No. They're just for aesthetic purposes." The hooded eyes and dark expression is back on his face. "But–" he takes one of my hands and guides it on the side of his torso, "– this one does." He slides it a little further, on the underside of his forearm, tracing what I recognized as a tiger lily. "This one too. I'll tell you about it someday."

His stance is crouched. Even though he's a good feet taller than me, I somehow look towering over him. This position is suggestive enough in itself but it becomes even more so when Jungkook's knees cage around mine. Our eyes now levelling, I drag the line of my vision upwards, refusing to break the eye contact. And then, my eyes focus onto his lips and specifically the tiny little mole under them. It had caught my eye dozens of times before but for some strange reason, right now it looks like it's inviting me. By impulse, I gently meet his lips with mine and surprisingly he doesn't pull back, peppering me back with pouty kisses that are interrupted only by quick pauses for breath. I take the chance and discreetly lick that very mole with the flat of my tongue, feeling his lips' softness with a quick swiping motion.

It's like his gears are put into action. The sweet, gentle Jungkook is utterly forgotten from the moment he slackens his jaw to deepen the kiss, wrestling his own tongue in full force. But then his hands reach up and slip under my sweater to feel the skin underneath and that's all it takes for me to flinch and push him off.

He immediately stops himself from going further and lowers his hands down by his sides. His hooded eyes turn back to alertness as he tries to comprehend what just happened. I feel bad for a moment.

"J—Jojo?" His eyebrows raise in concern. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No, I just—" A deep sigh leaves my lips as I try to keep myself from panicking.

He was about to touch my tummy. My fat, squishy tummy. Just the idea of him touching me there gives me chills.

"I remembered something I have to deal with."

I rip myself off from the couch and drag a hand through my hair in distress, about to turn on my heel and get the hell out of here.

"Wait!" Jungkook yells after me and he grabs my forearm. Not harshly, just strong enough not to let me go. "Did I upset you?"

"No. I–"

Calm down. Deep breaths. One, two. One, two.

"I just have to–" I rush with my words, but Jungkook's hands are made of steel, such a stark contrast with his pleading eyes.

"Stay. I'll take care of you. " He's begging me now. " Please."

I give in–

~ JUNGKOOK ~

–but at what cost? She's been acting distant ever since the panicky incident and I don't know what else to do to get her back the way she was. She barely touches me, barely comes close and I wonder if it's a shame to admit that I miss her kisses too. However, the jokester in her has never left. She'll crack dark jokes from time to time, acting like nothing ever happened and I'll pretend to play along for fear of not making her leave.

It pained me to see her like this, to see her crumbling apart day by day while my hands were frozen in place. A soldier stuck on quicksand. Someone had to tell her this was toxic, that she was poisoning herself and was fully conscious of it.

Weeks and weeks under her presence had trained me to notice all the changes, all the little shifts in her demeanor. Today was no exception. At least not with the incident that had made me do things I'd never imagine doing.

It had all started when a new employee had joined us on the coffee shop, courtesy of my boss, whose relationship with him was rather close. It was one of those cases where you had to make favors for the sake of family relations, et cetera, et cetera. So far, so good. But was one really to imagine that the guy had the audacity to act like he owned the place? I tried to ignore his antics up until the moment he fucked with the wrong girl. My girl.

Despite my disapproving glances, Jojo had been making comments on her weight, constantly seeking Kwan's opinions on the matter.

"But I'm fat!" she had exclaimed, exasperated. In Kwan's eyes, this was just another one of her lame jokes but I knew the sting behind the words.

Then, completely out of line, the new employee had chirped. "You're not fat, you're just thick."

I'd whipped my head in his direction and jumped off the table I'd been sitting, my hands suddenly itching but Jojo had been quick to secretly wave me off. "Well then, you're not stupid, you're just dumb, " she 'd snarked, earning a whole-hearted guffaw from Kwan. The joke had been let at that, or at least that's what Jojo thought. My fists hadn't stopped til the itching sensation was satisfied.

"You okay, Jo?" I'd asked at lunch break, the new nickname making her lips barely twitch. She was upset. I could tell.

"Yeah, why?" she'd replied, eyes trained on my face. For once, she'd given me that warm, old look that went beyond friendship. I'd tried to cherish it for a few seconds before adding, "That asshole was rude to you."

I'd unconsciously rubbed my knuckles and that hadn't skipped past Jojo's eyes. "Nah, he's just– wait a second! Did you do something to him?"

I'd adverted her eyes and cleared my throat awkwardly. "I kinda beat the shit out of him." The image of the guy's swollen face and broken nose flashes into my memory.

She'd gasped but there'd been a mix of amazement and incredulousness in the tone of her voice. "That's my job!"

I'd smiled. "No one messes with my Jo."

She'd smiled back but her eyes had still been sad.

Now I ring the bell on her door, impatiently carding my fingers through my hair as it remains shut. Where the fuck is she? She hasn't been answering my calls for a while and I'm worried sick.

I torture the bell button again and slam my palms on the door. "Jojo, are you there? Come on, it's me! Open up!"

What if something had happened to her? What if– I slam my shoulder repeatedly on it and the lock busts open with a loud clang. Rubbing the sore spot, I quickly scan the room and finally, my eyes find her crouched form on the floor.

There's a pile of junk around her, chocolate wrappers, plastic bags, food splayed apart chaotically and vomit on the floor as well as traces of it on the corners of her mouth. Her eyes are fixed in space, staring at nothing. Dried tears have left moist streaks on her cheeks. She looks lifeless until the moment she takes notice of me and does a double take.

"Jungkook? What– what are you doing here?"

I fall down on my knees next to her, worry written all over my face, but she immediately closes in on herself, her body language radiating fear and protectiveness. "No! Go away, please!"

I don't listen, scooting further till my hands are on her arms, trying to find a way in but she only keeps resisting. "No! Please, don't look at me! Not like this!" Her body shakes with convulsions and quiet sobs rip through her throat.

This was the first time I'd seen her cry.

I grab a towel from the kitchen and dip it in the streaming water. Jojo tries to keep me at bay but I set my mouth on a straight line and force it to her lips. Cleaning her eyes, her face as if I wanted to exfoliate her from any traces of sadness. "Please, " she's begging me now. "Please, go."

I keep my hands on a steady pace, gently rubbing the towel where needed. "Shhh, it's okay. It's just some spilled food. You're okay."

She quiets down at the words and it only goades me further. "Shhhh. You're my baby. My baby, " I lift her up and clean the rest of her, whispering other sweet nothings in her ear until at last the storm passes.

~ JOJO ~

There were two options left when someone made comments on my weight. I either starved myself for two full days or binged on everything I could see like a fucking cow because hey, I'm still gonna be fat, right?

Unfortunately for me , I'd picked the easier way out and emptied the contents of my kitchen in the blink of an eye. It was one of the things I hated the most; stuffing myself till I couldn't breathe. However, what I hated even more was people seeing me in my own misery. Even if that person was none other than the dreamy-eyed boy who had cared for me more than anyone ever had.

I stay silent as Jungkook cleans me thoroughly, making sure to also get rid of the mess on the ground and give me enough privacy to slip out of my nasty clothes and brush my teeth. I just keep staring at him and wonder to myself if I had done any good deeds in this life to deserve him. It pissed me off.

"Do you need another pillow?" Jungkook asks under his dark curly fringe, his back crouched as he stands on the side of my bed.

"No, I'm good, " I rasp, my voice strained from bawling for a good couple of hours. I avert his eyes once more. The guilt and the anger keeps bubbling up on the surface.

Jungkook abandons his chair and sits on the bed, his outer thigh barely touching my forearm. The springs creak and whine under his weight. He takes my hand in his, rubbing comforting circles with the tip of his thumb. "You okay, baby?"

I lash out in a second, grabbing the collar of his black T-shirt and pulling it inches from my face. "Call me baby one more time and I'll rip your throat out."

To my surprise, he's not even fazed. A dark chuckle falls under his lips as he grins widely for me to see. Then, as if it couldn't get any more intense than this, he lets himself fall backwards on the bed, taking me along with him. My legs escape the cover of the sheets and straddle his waist, trying not to fall over and crush him. In that particular order. What a typical movie-like moment. I'm wearing pajama shorts and the pale skin of my thighs is completely exposed. As if on cue, Jungkook's eyes flick towards them, drinking in the view. Had he ever seen this much of my body?

"Do it, " he says in a low voice.

I slide one of my hands upward and gently wrap it around his throat. "You really want me to choke you, Juan?"

The bastard doesn't even say anything. He raises the hands laying by his sides and traces the outline of my thighs higher and higher till they settle on each side of my hips. Goosebumps chill my skin like flowers after rain. I'm torn between punching him and kissing him senseless.

"Who knows, I might actually like it, " he says. He hasn't even tried to wriggle out of my caging body, going as far as even baring his throat at me.

I smirk. "Are you always this submissive?"

Uh oh. Wrong move.

In a matter of seconds, I'm pushed backwards, the soft texture of the sheets smoothing the land on my back. Just like that, the positions are completely switched. Jungkook's grin never leaves his face as he's on top of me, his curly locks swinging like a crown on his head. He takes both of my curled fists and pins them on each side of my head.

"I was actually letting you in charge but now that I think about it ; I also deserve to have some fun right?" he states with a smug expression.

For a moment, I'm left speechless. My limbs too, have nothing to say. At least not with the way they're frozen in place, too caught on the spot to dare move.

Jungkook takes the chance and nuzzles his nose on the gap between my neck and jawline. On another situation I would have felt ticklish but not right now. A heavy weight on the pit of my stomach is proof enough for that. He starts leaving small pecks on the skin of my throat, making a beeline for the collarbones.

I honestly don't know what to do with myself. We've been playing around for a long time now but things have never gotten so serious. Not at this point. Only recently had I pushed him off and now here I was, the one turned into full submission.

"Do you plan on ruining yourself every time someone upsets you?" he mumbles, smooth lips barely grazing against my skin.

The image of that new guy flashes behind my eyes and my face sours, all those butterflies in my stomach crushed to dust, just like that. "Can we talk about something else?"

Jungkook pauses his administrations and pulls back just an inch, his eyes staring at mine in full concentration. "No."

I huff in frustration. "You're on top of me."

"So?" he raises one eyebrow.

"So, get the hell off!"

My wrists are suddenly pinned harder against the sheets, Jungkook's hands forcing them further down until they form little dips.

"No, " he repeats, almost mechanically.

I'm about to protest again when his tongue swipes at the vulnerable skin of my throat and that's all it takes to throw all caution to the wind. My back arches off the bed without my permission and I think I must've let out a sound because Jungkook is laughing that quiet laugh of his that makes his shoulders shake.

His lips are on mine, silencing whatever literate thought that tries to make it out. My hips are now straddled by his own knees and oh- my wrists are free because he lets them go gently and puts his hands on my cheeks, kissing me even more deeply, threading them through my hair and its suddenly too much, too much for me to handle.

I feel like I'm floating ten thousand feet off the ground and buried under layers and layers of earth at the same time. My breath shudders violently when his lips drag across the side of my face and nudge the sweet spot below my ear.

"Why are you doing this to me?" I whisper but it comes out so broken, so desperate. I'm practically begging at this point and I don't even know why.

Jungkook's hands settle on my clothed waist. His fingertips twitch in hesitation as he bunches the fabric and just like that–

"I'm sorry, "

–and lets go.

I feel relieved and disappointed.

His body peels off my own with reluctance that rips me apart in a million different ways and I feel my skin grow cold from his absence. He leans back on the heels of his hands, staring me down with an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, " he repeats and rises from the bed, disappearing into the living room.

* * *

I lay there for a while, staring at the ceiling as if it held the secrets of the universe. My body has not even moved an inch, too shocked, too frozen. My legs feel like lead, two slabs of heavy stone that pin me into place.

If it weren't for Jungkook's presence snapping me out of my empty reverie, I would've probably stood there like a dead body for days. He comes back (from the bathroom, apparently) his wet hair still trickling droplets of water on his shirt, eyebrows shining, and stands on the middle of the room.

"It's midnight, " he says, as if in a trance.

My eyes flick to the window. Pitch black. Indeed.

"Can I stay here tonight?" he continues, and I can swear the tips of his ears go spicy red. My heart melts into a hot buttery mass. He's blushing like crazy. I can see it! A guy, blushing in front of me. I suddenly can't contain my smile, all things forgotten in a blur.

"Yeah. I would like that, " I breathe.

He locks eyes with me and breaks the contact almost immediately, looking anywhere but in my direction.  "I can take the couch–"

"No. Sleep here, " I say and my eyes close of their own accord. "With me,  " I slowly add.

"Are you sur–"

My eyes fly open. "We just made out five seconds ago. Why is that such a problem now?" I lift my neck just an inch, to glare at him but there's no real malice in it.

His lips crack into a smile and I'm glad for the tension that dissipates like cigarette smoke. "I sleep without a shirt on, " he confesses.

"Okay."

He slips it off his torso in a swift motion but it's too dark me for me to make out any details expect for his dark silhouette and the wide planes of his shoulders.

"You can take off anything you want. I won't touch you, " I say and roll over on my side of the bed.

"I wouldn't mind it, " I hear him mumble but he complies, the sound of his belt unbuckling echoing against the room.

The bed dips under his weight as he occupies its other side and I feel more than hear the fall and rise of his chest, the labored breathing coming to a steady rhythm.

Two strong hands clasp around my waist and I'm pulled backwards into his chest. I don't push him off. I let him hold me to himself, caged by his body, by the feeling of him; his bare chest, his bare legs, his long hair tickling the back of my neck.

Everything is going to be okay.

I'm okay.

"Jojo?"

"Hm?"

"Do you care about me?"

I smile. " More than I'd like to admit."

He kisses the nape of my neck and pulls me harder against himself. It's not long before sweet, calm sleep sneaks its way into into our bodies.

~ JUNGKOOK ~

It's not the sun the one that wakes me up, despite it having been up for a while, not even the sound of the cars honking in the distance. It's the gentle caress of skin on skin, making goosebumps rise and my eyelids flutter.

I slowly crack one eye open and the smile that blooms on my face is automatic. Jojo's cuddled up on her side right next to me, her head laying between my chest and shoulder, arms splayed out to hug my torso like a teddy bear. But what really does it for me is her left leg thrown across my side. She keeps moving in her sleep and it's doing things to me. I can't breathe.

I suddenly realize that I'm only wearing my boxers. Nothing else.

Oh God.

I lift a shaky hand and try to detach her leg but my fingers linger for too long and she suddenly stirs. Her lips nudge my chest and unconsciously give the latter a tender kiss. Her eyes slowly open. For a moment it looks like she doesn't know where she is but then the realization dawns on her.

"Good morning."

Shit.

Her raspy voice only makes it harder for me to keep myself collected.

"Morning, " I manage.

She sits up and drags a hand through her hair, frustrated. "Why is your nice body the first thing I see? I'm jealous, " she huffs.

I open and close my mouth like a fish, caught on the spot. I'd never thought of my body as particularly nice. "It does its job so yeah, I guess, " I admit aloud.

At that her eyes drag down to a very unholy spot in between my legs. She smirks. " Oh, it does its job, alright. I think you have some problems with morning wood, my boy."

I grab the sheets on the side and swing them over my legs, embarrassment setting my face aflame.

She bursts out laughing. "Relax. It's not like I've never seen a guy with no pants before. Though, I'm kinda disappointed. I was expecting for you to have Lighting Mcqueen patterns on your underwear. " She shakes her head mockingly. "They're so plain."

I uncover my legs once again and this time I don't care. Let her see whatever she wants.

She stops laughing. Gives another glance to the crime scene. Gulps. "Yeah, like I said. Plain."

This whole exchange is so entertaining, I feel my insides flutter with joy. Last night's episode is forgotten in a ditch with no problem. We're back to the old times.

I get up and pace around the room, in search of a glass of water. My throat is parched.

"You know what? Go take a cold shower. All that–" she gestures toward my middle with a wave of her hand, "– is distracting me."

I stop pacing. "You know what? I'll put some pants on if you put some food on your stomach. That's a fair deal."

The color completely drains from her face, replaced by a dark expression that seeps the life out of it. Regret weighs me down.

"I'm never eating again, " she says, while her eyes bore holes into the floor. " Not until I reach my goal weight."

I  drag a hand across my face and rub it. Hard. My sanity is on the brink of falling apart. "Then what are you gonna do?" I ask, frustration finally creeping on my voice. "When you get to your goal weight."

She shrugs. "I'm just gonna keep being unhappy, I guess."

It's the way she puts the words out there so easily that draws the line for me. So carelessly, like I mean nothing to her. Like she means nothing to herself.

"This is ridiculous. You know you're harming yourself and you still keep doing it. You know you're not gonna change anything in the end and you still keep doing it. I don't get it."

"Oh yeah?" she spits, her own voice full of poisonous venom. "Why do you keep living if you know you're gonna die one day? Huh, Juan? Why do you do it?"

"This is killing you!"

"I don't care!"

I flinch. It takes me a while to gather myself before I muster the strength to spell out the next few words. "I don't even know why I care about you when you don't even care about yourself."

Her lips curl into a half smile but it doesn't exactly reach her eyes.

"You're right, " she says. "I don't."

Silence.

"Maybe you should go now."

I look up into her face but she's not looking at me, too focused on a spot on the wall. She's telling me to leave. To get the hell out of here. I'm suddenly realizing the absurdity of all this —me shirtless and half nude, boxers stuck to my body like gauze, having a fight with the girl I love with all my heart. I realize the enormity of it. Of how much I love her, of how much I'm hurt by seeing her hurt and I choose to leave.

I pick up my pants from where they lay carelessly on the floor and put them on in excruciating slow movements. I grab the belt and the T-shirt and make my way out of the apartment. Her eyes never leave that spot.

I shut the door behind me and lean my head on its cool ugly surface.

What an ugly mustard -yellow door.

" Jojo, don't do this, " I say, loud enough for her to hear. "Come on, please."

No answer.

The anger falls off me in waves I can't control, swallowing me whole until my eyes see black. I kick the door so hard, my leg grows limp. Another punch and I think I've cracked the wood but I don't care. I don't give a shit. I scream and slam my fists and palms like a madman throwing a tantrum.

"Dammit! Why do you keep doing this?! Stop it, damn you! You're hurting yourself for fuck's sake!"

"You're hurting me, " I add in nothing more than a whisper, my voice already hoarse.

The door never opens.

~ JOJO ~

The door opens easily with just a push of my fingertips. I try to look uninterested but my restless eyeballs betray me in an instant, scanning the coffee shop in all four directions within seconds. I'd spent the whole night spacing out while sitting at the foot of my bed on the floor. I'd never felt so much regret, so much of it that it had felt like I was drowning–

"He's not here." A voice startles me out of my thoughts and I turn around to find Kwan looking at me with something that looks similar to pity.

I blink. "What?"

"Jungkook, " he explains. " He's gone."

My heart falls into the bottom of my feet and I suddenly can't keep the panic from tainting my voice. I grip Kwan's shoulders. "Where?"

"Woah, calm down! I think he's gone to his parents or something. Boss already gave him permission."

My grip loosens. "Oh."

Kwan blanches but soon a look of genuine concern flashes behind his eyes. "What's the matter? Did you two get into a fight?"

"No, " I deny.

I can faintly make out Kwan's rambling but it sounds so, so far away because soon my ears are thundering.

he's gone he's gone he's gone he's gone he's gone he's gone–

"Jojo."

I'm shook awake, courtesy of my man-handler. He looks truly worried but I just can't seem to care. All I know is that I need to get out, distract myself, do something–

The indecisive old bitch lady steps foot into the shop and I curse her existence and mine altogether. This is so not the time to be arguing over extra menus.

She takes her usual seat with an excessive amount of unnecessary grace and looks at me pointedly, waiting to be tended to.

I smile. "Welcome, Mrs. Park."

* * *

Everything feels empty, blurred around  the edges.

Meaningless.

I finally realize how important purpose is and how everything we do is driven by it.

Lately I've been walking in circles, wandering like a fly trapped inside a jar, not knowing where I am or what I'm doing.

I'm just there.

I never eat anymore. I never drink. I savor my body like an untouched temple and hope against hope that I'll get better.

It's okay if I'm not. I can't make the difference anymore, anyway. I've spiraled into the bottomless pit of oblivion and the process is slow. It makes me feel numb.

I stare at the rumpled apron laying on the floor along with the rest of the garbage and Ms. Park comes into mind. She hadn't really appreciated my spilling hot tea right onto her chest. The dumb bitch had gotten me fired but it doesn't really feel like a great loss. I'd only worked there because of him, anyway. Him and only him. I never cared about anyone else. But he's not here. He'll never be here anymore.

I fish my phone out of my pocket and make use of the sudden memory to type down his number. I have it memorized by now. The line beeps.

"Hey."

My heartbeat spikes in excitement. "Hey yourself," I reply hastily but my voice cords haven't been used for days, so it sounds more like a rasp. I clear my throat.

"How's it going?" he asks. Casually. Like he would a friend. I missed hearing his voice.

"Good. You?"

"Same."

I bite my lower lip anxiously. I don't like his answers. I don't like how short and clipped they are. Clipped. Nipped. Chipped. Ripped. Zipped–

"So, the guys have been wondering when you'll be back, " I lie.

I hear him release a subtle sigh. "Oh. I don't really know, honestly. I've been hanging out with my parents and they plan on keeping me here for a while longer."

I nod my head slowly then remind myself he can't see me. "Right. Right, you must've missed them."

White noise.

Hmmm.

What else rhymes with noise?

Choice.

Boys

Toys

Turqoise–

"Well, have fun."

"Thanks......um, are you oka–"

I end the call.

he's gone he's gone he's gone he's gone he's gone he's gone he's gone–

i told you he doesn't give a shit

"I never said I did, " I reply without looking.

you hoped, though

"Shut up."

laughter

you do realize you're pathetic, right?

I turn my head to the mirror. "Shut the fuck up, you fucking bitch! Shut it!"

I spit and throw whatever I can get my hands on it but there's a smile there that I just can't see.

what rhymes with smile?

aisle

bile

rile

guile

worthwhile–

I scream and yell. I rip the sheets of the bed, swipe off the contents of my desk, punch and punch the mirror till my hands are raw and bleeding a waterfall. I kick and thrash with every ounce of strength left in me but there's no use.

She's still smiling at me.

* * *

I'm sitting down on the floor, surrounded by a pool of my own insanity. I can't tell how many days have passed and my cheeks feel surprisingly moist. Have I been crying?

There's no one else around here.

It doesn't matter. I like being alone.

It feels nice to just be with your own thoughts, not having to fear being overheard when you scream ideas and screenplays in your room. You can just be yourself and enjoy doing the things you like the most. But still, sometimes it gets really lonely and not just in the literal sense. I'll always check the dark corners to see if someone's there, I'll always feel like someone's whispering, saying bad things about me, that coat hanged on the rack will always look like a person and then I'll even start getting scared of my own shadow, my head will always shake uncontrollably when I'm crying because there won't be anyone to hold it for me, anyone to assure me that things are gonna be okay.

I don't like being alone. It's not nice.

I glance at the broken mirror, bloody cracks and lines making up the whole of it. There's only one spot in the corner that remains clean and untouched. A smile attached to it.

I realize now. Why she wouldn't go away. The reason why I could never win this war was because the enemy I was fighting against was none other than myself. She was no stranger. She was me. No matter how much we tried, me and my own  resemblance would still be standing at the end of the day. If i was alive, she was alive. It was like a symbiotic relationship, a Yin to the Yang. We kept each other afloat and neither could exist without the other.

he's happy.

"I know, "

without you

"I know, " I repeat.

is that enough proof for you?

"It is."

then do it

"yes."

I rise from the floor and blindly look for my phone in the midst of all the trash. It's nowhere to be found. I then turn around and grab hold of the old telephone hanging on the wall. It stands out, an ancient relic hard to be found these days. I roll the numbers by memory. The line crackles for a couple of seconds before a familiar voice breathes into it. My chest constricts as I let out a pathetic whimper. "J– Jungkook... I'm sorry."

I don't give him time to answer, slamming the phone down with a loud ring.

it's over it's over it's over it's over i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry

Big, fat tears trickle down my cheeks and chin and I do nothing to stop them. I whimper and whine as I head for the bathroom, reaching up with my toes to get the pills I'd hidden all these weeks. They're still here.

Waiting for me.

~ JUNGKOOK ~

I'm running as hard as my legs can take me but it's not really me doing it. It's my impulses being triggered with full force, struggling for survival. I'm completely detached from my body, my mind going through only one simple rule : I have to make it on time.

I don't even notice the heavy torrents of rain blurring my vision, making my feet trudge with difficulty. I don't even notice the people I push harshly out of my way or the red stoplights blinking past me. My eyes are focused inwardly like a camera, set on breaking through the sea of umbrellas.

please please please please

I repeat the word like a mantra in my head, praying against whatever odds that she will be okay when I get there, that she won't do what I think she intends to do.

please please please just not that anything but that please make her be alright

If only I could've hurried earlier, she wouldn't have had the chance to say those things. To say my name.

It was the first time she'd said my name. My actual name. Those few seconds hearing the syllables tumbling from her lips had been pure bliss to my ears, only to be ripped apart with the realization that she was pleading.

She doesn't answer the phone. I curse myself to hell and back. I should've told her I was coming today. I should've told her I was only two blocks away from her apartment and that all this time far from her had been nothing but torture. There hadn't been a moment when I didn't feel her absence or when I didn't wonder what she was doing. I should've told her I regretted every single word I'd sa-

Something slams against my arm. I fall onto the rough asphalt but I'm on my feet in seconds. The man I'd run into stares at me in anger but I can't  deal with his shit right now, so I push him blindly, my feet already finding their footing. "Out of my fucking way!" I yell at him without looking.

I run and run and run until I can't feel my calves and my jacket is soaked through.

Drip

Drip

Drip

please don't die

drip

Her apartment building zooms into view. I punch buttons and take the stairs by four.

please

stay alive

please

Mustard yellow door.

I don't wait to check if it's open, kicking the lock open immediately.

Things happen in a blur, straight out of a dream. I kneel to the ground, forcing her mouth open. Her tear-stained face spits the pills reluctantly and then she tries to push me off as hard as she can. I knew she'd do this. I just knew it. I had seen the pills standing on the drawer for days, weeks. I knew how she gave those bruises to her body, how she tortured herself by her own will.

"NO! GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!"  I hold her hands down and bend them behind her back but she keeps screaming and it's like all hell has broken loose. "FUCK OUT OF HERE! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT!"

I squeeze her hands tighter and I can suddenly hear myself crying, fully sobbing my heart out and then she's crying too and we're both sitting on the floor like two poor beggars with our limbs awkwardly splayed out.

"That's my decision, Jungkook.  You can't take that away from me, " her muffled whimpers are heard as I lean her head on the crook of my neck.

I release her hands, which soon find their way around my neck, hugging my body till we fit perfectly together.

"Jojo."

I pull back just a few inches, capture her face with my palms and kiss her like there's no tomorrow.

~ JOJO ~

Do you know that feeling of finally getting home after a long trip, of how your body relaxes upon finding its lost familiarity? That's exactly what courses through my body right now, except that it's multiplied tenfold, to the point of numbness. I'd missed sensing his body beside mine. I'd missed his dark locks tickling my neck, his soft lips, but more than everything, I'd missed having him here. With me.

It's hard to believe the number of things that have happened today. It feels like I'm watching the scene unfold in front of me like a spectator and wonder if it's just a figment of my imagination. And the way he is kissing me..... It feels brand new. Desperate in more ways than one. He morphs our lips together as if they are made of clay and his hands start feeling around my body, begging for some purchase.

I don't realize the fact that I have started crying. Silent tears tumble down my cheeks, wetting his own face with their saltiness. I can't control them. I can't stop them. And Jungkook understands that. He pulls roughly at my bottom lip and suddenly lets go, creating a gap between our bodies. I can't help but feel that I must look like a little child in his eyes right now; grubby, disheveled, teary-eyed...

And then he's looking at me dead in the eye, beyond my appearance, beyond my outer core, cutting through weeds and vines growing inside my soul. "I know none of the things I say will ever convince you. So, I won't be using any words."

He slips my left sleeve from my shoulder, exposing the skin underneath. His head lowers down to it and gives it a feather-light kiss.

I stare at him in confusion but he chooses to keep silent. His eyes never leave my face, even when he starts repeating the action with my other sleeve, rolling my whole shirt up and off my body. He discards each piece with surprising gentleness and that's what makes my tears fall even more violently. He's so kind.

So good to me.

And he's taking off my pants.

I instinctively tense and Jungkook makes an obvious pause, letting me make my choice. The rigidity dwindles away and a flash of relief passes behind his eyes. I close my eyes and then he moves on with his graceful touches. I'm lain down into the bed, my hair fanned out behind me like a halo, and he slowly crawls on top, observing his work of art with a look of genuine satisfaction.  His clothes are gone before I can blink and he slowly dives in for the sensitive part of my neck, breathing it in.

"Beautiful," he mumbles against my throat. My body convulses with whimpers. He nuzzles his way up until his lips are meshed against mine.  "Touch me, " he whispers.

My breath hitches but I raise my hands that had so far lain on my sides and put them on each side of his face. "Jungkook."

He smiles and my heart bursts into a million fireflies. "I like it when you say my name."

"Jungkook,"  I repeat.

He drags those sinful lips down through valleys and crevices, leaving soft kisses in their wake, tracing every inch of my skin, tracing every bruise, every wound, every trace of self-harm. I am nothing more than a hot pool of lava. I do not own a body anymore. Or rather, I feel each sensation being magnified into infinity and I can no longer tell where my body starts nor where it ends. I feel too much. I feel everything. And I am not ashamed of this mundane mass of flesh and bones and blood.

I kiss back.

That's all it takes for him to finally let himself go freely. No obstacles. No barriers. I am free of the voices in my head, free of my fears and judgment.  It's like we want to devour each other, drain every single drop until it is the only thing our tongues can taste. I don't really care about anything else right now. I wanna forget about it all and just focus on the soft texture of his lips ghosting the skin on my neck and then going stronger and wilder and swallowing it up till I can feel the delicious sting of pain. We fight. We love. We pour our hearts out like a warm waterfall. And as our bodies tangle restlessly with each other, sticky with sweat, I go through an indescribable ecstasy. Something I've never experienced before.

Acceptance.

_____________________

EPILOGUE

I'd never imagine the storm would go on all night but it somehow did. As I lay in my bed, feet tangled up with someone else's, I hear the distant rumble of faraway clouds first thing in the morning. If it weren't for my daily habit of waking up early, I wouldn't have even bothered cracking my eyes open. The sun remains hidden in some corner as the dark gray sky salutes me instead.

I like it. This mood. It's cozy and warm and safe .

I turn my head on the side and almost melt. He's sleeping like a baby. Eyelids relaxed, lips slightly open, an angelic expression on his face. Pretty.

"That's bold, coming from you, " his lips spell.

I lightly gasp as I realize I've said the word out loud. "I thought you were asleep." As if by instinct, my hand slides up into his face, gently caressing it.

Jungkook grabs my whole arm and pulls me towards him, giving the edge of my jaw a kiss. "I was kinda faking it."

I kick his butt with the sole of my foot. "You prick! Stop playing!"

The whole bed shakes from his laughter as he massages his poor backside. "Did you sleep well?" he asks.

I smile. "Mhmm."

Jungkook mirrors my expression, but it somehow looks more devilish on him. "I'm sure you did."

"Shut up, Jungkook."

He smiles again, genuinely this time and turns, facing the ceiling with his eyes closed. "I really like it when you say my name."

"Jungkook," I whisper. A pause. "Jeon Jungkook."

His eyes open. "Yes?"

"You know, the night before I met you, I was about to kill myself."

His body goes rigid, but I continue. " I don't know why I didn't do it. Then, the next day I met you and it was like it just slipped my mind. The thought was no longer there.  So I came at that coffee shop every day, hoping I could see you. You weren't some kind of prince charming or anything. It's not like I looked at you and knew we were meant for each other or that kind of bullshit. I just liked looking at you. One glimpse was enough. It made me feel better somehow. It felt.... nice. But the moment we stopped looking at each other it all came flooding back. That longing to die. I turned back to my starting point."

Jungkook's arms envelop me and I feel my bones shatter. "I'm sorry," I whisper, barely a breath.

He caresses my bare shoulder. "There's nothing to be sorry about. It's okay now. I'm here. It's over."

I throw my arms around his neck and hug him tightly. "Don't leave."

"I won't."

We stay like that for a while, holding each other in our arms and relishing the sweet silence of early morning. Until-

"Hey Jungkook, you know how you're hot and cute at the same time?"

"Don't do it, Jojo. I'm telling you, don't-"

"Hute."

My obnoxious laughter annoys the hell out of him, but he eventually joins me.  I smile to myself.

The old back me is me but more different than ever. I want to go through a deep cleansing. I want to throw away all the trash that has been accumulating in my house and my very soul.

A new person.

A new life.

A new me.

I can't promise I' ll make it in the end but I can promise I'll try.

"You know, " Jungkook says, "you turned out to be much more different than I thought you'd be."

I turn his face to him. "Did I meet your expectations?"

He smiles. "No. You exceeded them."

#jungkook fanfic #jungkook fluff #jungkook imagines #jungkook scenarios #jungkook #jeon jungkook #bts fluff #bts fanfic #jeon jeongguk #kookie #kook #jk #bts #btsfanfiction #bangtanfic #bangtan #btsimagines #bts scenarios #bts story #jungkook story #bangtan imagines #bangtan scenarios #bangtan fluff #bangtanff #bangtan sonyeondan #bangtan ff #jungkook ff #jungkook fanfiction #bts ff #jimin

[thefandomthings]

Hello ♡ if I'm not bothering you I would like a match-up for my oc if you're okay with it :)

She looks kinda like this (but her hair is 100% pink)

Her name is Serena, she's 17 and loves pink

She's half Brazilian half Chinese, but he looks more like her mother (that is brazilian) she moved to NY with her mother after she divorced from Serena's father. Serena is kinda shy mainly because she didn't had the chance to actually learn how to speak English properly so she's 24/7 apologizing for her English, like "hello sorry for bad English"

She can looks kinda distant when you first met her, but she's just nervous that you'll make fun of her, so she stays quiet until she's 100% sure she can trust you

Serena acts a little like those girls from teen movies from the 2000's like Regina George (from Mean Girls) but it's not like she's a bad person, she's just really into those teen movies so she tries to be more like the cool girls, if you're friends with her she'll stars talking about Hanna Montana or iCarly and will recommend series like Pretty Little Liars or make you watch High School Musical. If she really likes you she'll ask you if you want to watch Pixar movies with her. Her favorites include Rio, Toy Story and Luca

She's reluctant to share her likes because she doesn't want to be seen as a joke or a "child" so she can starts pretending she likes the same things that the person she's talking to

Like "oh do you like Teen Wolf? Me too!" (She hates Teen Wolf) so she needs people to reassure her that she's not pathetic. If she doesn't like someone, she can't treat anyone badly so she just fake a smile and act like popular teen girls pretending they liked your hair but in her mind she thinks you look like shit, but she would never say things like that loudly. But if he hates someone (which is rare) she'll either just ignore the person or starts being passive aggressive, but when the person goes away Serena feels bad for her behavior and considers apologizing to them

Serena is easily a crybaby, it's too easy making her cry, everything can make serena cry, movies, books, series, a tv commercial, the way someone acts with her or the way someone talks to her. She's trying to be less dramatic but if someone acts differently with her she'll starts wondering if she did or said something wrong, and that makes her cry

She's also super kind and funny and tries her best to make everyone around her feel happy and loved, sometimes she'll bake cookies for her friends or simply compliments the little things about them, like their smile or the way they laugh. Serena is an artist, she loves drawing and knitting stuff, sometimes she can knits hats or plushies for her or her friends, she can't see a white wall without painting it all, so she's always expressing her feelings with art, when she's sad or happy she'll stars drawing or knitting

I already said it, but her favorite color is pink, her entire room is pink! Almost all her clothes are pink and it's easy to give Serena a gift, if it's pink she'll love it. Actually she loves every gift she receives. She always forgets people's birthdays (and her own) so she asks about their birthdays all the time so she doesn't forget.

She plays the piano and guitar, but she's really shy about it, but if she likes someone very much she'll play a song for them. She has 20k followers on tiktok and instagram so she's always with her cellphone in hands, try taking it from her and she'll be mad at you. She's kinda of a cellphone and coca cola addicted so it's hard seeing her without her phone and a coke can in hands

Her favorite games are Undertale and Stardew Valley, she's more than happy when someone recommend her new games because she had played Undertale more than 6 times

Sometimes she feels sad because she misses her old home and her family she left behind, so when she's sad she won't feel like talking to people, because when she's feeling down she'll act rude with others

She loves sharing her childhood memories with his significant other, she'll show them a pic of her when she was a child and tell stories that happened to her, obviously she's super happy when them shows to be interested in her and her country

She'll try to teach her significant other things in portugese and she thinks it's adorable when they try to repeat what she says

Serena would fall for someone who doesn't think she's pathetic or make fun of her, someone that appreciates and respects her passions and likes and doesn't judge her. She would never judge anybody by their appearance (because she doesn't considers herself a beautiful girl) or likes

Has depression but will never let someone find out, but there's days she's more depressed and doesn't feel like acting happy, in these days she just wants a hug and someone saying everything will be fine

♡♡

Okay sorry if it's too much lol :))

Awww! She sounds so cute!

I Think I will match you with...

Michelangelo

Dear lord! Help us all!

This small turtle would absolutely LOVE YOU!

He loves how pink you hair is! And plays with it all day!

Since you play guitar, you and Mikey have jam sessions almost daily!

Him on the drums, you on the guitar or piano!

When people make you upset Mikey will comfort you and love you!

He hates seeing you cry! It make his own chest tighten with tears!

Drinking coca cola almost every hour!

Mikey never suspected you had depression till you came to the lair all gloomy and sad

He asked Donnie what he could do to help. He helps all the time trying to help lower your depression levels

It is working, because you have fewer sad days and mire happy giggle days!

He loves listening to you talk about Brazil and could listen to yoir for hours!

When Mikey tried learning Portuguese it was the cutest thing you have ever seen!

Of course he mispronounced everything but at least he tried,

Overall, Mikey adores the shit out of you! And loves you with his adorable hear!

#tmnt bayverse #michelangelo #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt #tmnt 2014 #tmnt 2016 #thefandomthings #tmnt match up

[thatsdevilstears-a]

/// GUIDELINES

——GENERAL

1. Hello there and welcome to my blog. Thank you for reading my guidelines! My name is Wiktoria, you can call me vikn. I live in Poland. As you can see, English is not my first language, therefore mistakes can occur, please bear that in mind.

I also have an interest tracker so you can fill it here.

2. I consider this blog independent and semi-selective, meaning, I prefer to write write with mutuals only. Memes, open starters are open to everyone, though. That doesn’t mean, though, it will carry on. I’m open to exploring, but I do not click with everyone. Please, don’t take it personally if that happens with you as well. Also, feel free to send me pms, asks and just say hi! I’m a friendly person that also knows all too well what anxiety means.

3. I’m not that fond of writing with OC characters and I don’t, most of the time.

8. When it comes to formatting - I keep it simple – small text + eventually icons.

4. I’d love to explore crossover stories. Examples? Relationship between Regina Mills & Damon Salvatore, Emma Swan & Theo Crain, no matter how crazy that may seem. 

5. Speaking of... Even if I do not have characters from certain fandoms, doesn't mean I wouldn't like to write with character from them in crossovers. Movies and tv shows I can think of are: harry potter, lord of the rings, the vampire diaries, twilight, stranger things, why women kill, orange is the new black, sherlock, jessica jones, charmed, disney & pixar in general...

6. I am open to all kinds of nsfw; I often like to write all kinds of dramas, character deaths, horror, mental-illness issues, abusive relationships, heartbreak and heartache. +18 muns and muses only. I’ll tag such posts appropriately.

7. I do not possess icons for all my characters. Most of the icons I do use aren’t mine, but I’m trying to slowly make some myself.

——DOs AND DON’Ts

2. NoH8! If I see it, I’ll unfollow you asap.

1. No god-modding; I control my character, you control yours. There are examples where I give permission to do so, e.g. we discuss something in pms and plan things to turn out the specific way. In other cases… I may turn out not so nice.

4. Do not force a ship on me. I’m open to it, but I’d like you to discuss it with me first.

3. Personal blogs - do not follow me, nor like/reblog my posts! I’ll block you.

5. Of course, read all the rules! If I see you haven’t, there will be just one more chance to.

6. Please, try to match the length of the replies.

7. Also, please, cut your posts.

——SHIPPING

1. First and foremost, I ship chemistry! There are, though, ships I particularly don’t like - that’s why I always advance to message me about it first. If you’re shy, just send me an anon! 

2. If you’re curious about my favourite ones, though, my two otps are swan queen [emma & regina] and masriel [marisa & asriel]. & when it comes to otps, i rarely ship those characters with anyone else -- if so that's with characters from another fandom (as i mentioned -- i love crossovers)

As for other ships I do support: dani & jaimie, serena & june, villanelle & eve, anne & gilbert, moiraine & lan [platonically but may try also go beyond ;)], moiraine & siuan, alice & luther, alison & cole, norma & romero, lizbon & sergio, nairobi & helsinki (in obvious way ;)).

I'm fairlyyy ok with: dragon queen (regina & maleficent), emma & lily, serena & fred (agnsttt), theo & trish, vanessa & ethan, melanie & ben, beth & benny.

3. If I were to write about all my characters’ sexual orientation, I’d take me forever. Which is why I want you to look at them as bisexual or pansexual [perhaps apart from those who are originally gay]. But it honestly depends on the story; I may ship those characters with either females or males. So even if we have such characters as Serena Joy or Lord Asriel, they can be gay or bi [openly or not], or straight. I like to play with that form in various stories. 

4. When it comes to smut, rule number one: +20 muns and muses only. If you came here for this sort of entertainment, I’ll say look for it somewhere else. I’m ok with writing it - from time to time and when it feels right. It will be under a read more and tagged as ‘nsfw’. I feel like it may be fade to black most of the time, though.

/// MUSES

-------PRIMARY

>>>his dark materials (book & tv show based): marisa coulter // face: ruth wilson ; lyra belacqua // face: dafne keen ; lord asriel belacqua // face: james mcavoy. 

>>>once upon a time: regina mills // face: lana parrilla ; emma swan // face: jennifer morrison. 

>>>the wheel of time (for now tv show based):  moiraine damodred  // face: rosamund pike ;  lan mandragoran /// face: daniel henney.

>>>snowpiercer: melanie cavill // face: jennifer connelly ; alexandra cavill // face: rowan blanchard. 

>>>penny dreadful: vanessa ives // face: eva green. 

>>>the queen’s gambit: beth harmon /// face: anya taylor-joy. 

>>>the haunting series: theodora cran // face: kate siegel ; eleanor crain // face: victoria pedretti.

-------SECONDARY

>> the affair: alison bailey /// face: ruth wilson.

>>luther: alice morgan // face: ruth wilson.

>>anne with an e: anne shirley-cuthbert // face: amybeth mcnulty ; gilbert blythe // face: lucas jade zumann.

>>killing eve (tv show based): villanelle/oksana astankova // face: jodie comer. 

>>the handmaid’s tale (tv show based): serena joy waterford // face: yvonne strahovski. 

>>bates motel: norma bates /// face: vera farmiga.

>>the haunting series: jamie taylor // face: amelia eve /  carla gugino ; dani clayton /// face:  victoria pedretti ; olivia crain // face: carla gugino.

>>the oa: nina azarova/prairie johnson /// face: brit marling.

-------TEST

>his dark materials (book & tv show based): mary malone // face: simone kirby. 

>killing eve (tv show based):  eve polastri // face: sandra oh. 

>bates motel:  norman bates // face: freddie highmore.

>la casa de papel: nairobi // face: alma flores ; lizbon // face:  itziar ituño ; el professor // face: álvaro morte.

[alj4890]

Misfortune's Intentions

(Liam x OC* Elisse Mallin) (Drake x Riley) in a Choices The Royal Heir fan fiction

A/N This idea came to me one night when I couldn't sleep. In this version from The Royal Heir, it has been nearly three years since Riley married Drake. Their infant daughter, Hope, was named heir to Cordonia's crown. Liam considers the possibility of dating after pining for Riley all these years. Elisse is a noble and first cousin to Queen Amalas of Monterisso. She will eventually become an ambassador, settling in Cordonia to continue Amalas's alliance. She also has a small bit of significant history coinciding with Liam's social season. This first part though will take us through the past for our main characters.

Not sure who to tag for this new miniseries, LOL. Let me know if you want to be added.

Masterlist

Prologue

Two years ago, Cordonia...

"To keep people's attention away from your brother's," Constantine's voice hardened, "decision to abdicate," his fist clinched for a moment, "we will have you participate in a season for a potential bride."

Liam swallowed uncomfortably. He knew there was a possibility his father would insist on this particular custom. He had hoped though that like Leo, he would be given a few years reprieve before he had to choose a bride.

Constantine fought through the chest pain he hid from everyone as he continued to explain what the next few months would be like for his only obedient son.

"We will have the usual bevy of ladies from Cordonia's noble houses. Perhaps sprinkle a few from other countries to appease the people."

"Yes sir." Liam mumbled when his father seemed to silently demand his agreement. "Whatever you think is the best way to move forward."

"Good." Constantine waved toward the door. "You may go. We will make our announcement tomorrow."

Liam bowed his head in acceptance. Still in a state of disbelief as he made his way to his chambers, he didn't hear his best friend calling his name.

"Liam?" Drake jogged to catch up to him. "I heard about Leo. Is it true?"

The new crown prince waited to answer until they were behind closed doors.

"It is." He rubbed a hand down his face. "Leo abdicated."

Drake poured them both a drink. He observed the slight tremble in Liam's hand as he took a healthy gulp of whiskey. Eyes closed briefly as he gathered his thoughts.

"I--I'm going to have to get married."

"What?" Drake breathed in disbelief. "Why?"

"All part of being king." Liam's lips twisted in a bitter smile.

He rolled his glass between his hands as he stared down at its contents. "I have to choose one during this year's social season."

"You have to go through all that Leo did?" Drake asked.

"Yes, but unlike his, I won't know who I'm supposed to choose." Liam grimaced as he swallowed the rest of his drink. "Madeleine had been chosen years ago by Father and Regina. The competition was mostly for the public's entertainment than to actually choose a queen."

Drake slumped back in his chair. "I'm sorry, Liam."

"It's..." He got up to pace, "it's fine. It's an honor to have a chance to serve my country. To marry and have a family...perhaps life will be better."

Perhaps this palace will feel like a home, he thought.

"When will it be announced?"

"Tomorrow."

"So soon." Drake murmured.

Liam briskly nodded.

His closest friend held his glass up in a toast. "Here's hoping, Liam."

*****************

Monterisso Royal Palace, a week later...

"Elisse." Amalas hugged her cousin. "Thank you for coming so quickly."

"Of course." Elisse took the offered chair. Her eyes dropped down to the baby bump showing. "How are you feeling?"

"Good." Amalas gently patted her tummy. "This baby has finally decided I'm not the enemy and has agreed that food is definitely a good thing."

Elisse laughed, shaking her head at her cousin's humor.

"But enough about the spoiled future king or queen I’m having." Amalas handed over a letter with Cordonia's royal seal. "Read this."

Elisse scanned the invitation, eyes widening slightly. "Prince Leo abdicated? Do we know why?"

The spy queen chuckled. "You know I do." She leaned over and grabbed a file off her table. "Let's just say that the former crown prince did not want the responsibilities that went along with the crown."

Elisse opened the file and snorted. "I've heard that Lady Madeleine can be difficult to deal with."

"That along with wanting his freedom to wander the earth like a rich playboy are his reasons." Amalas pointed out a photograph one of her agents snapped recently on a cruise ship. "This woman, Katie, is an even bigger reason."

"They're engaged?" Elisse whispered in disbelief. "He didn't waste any time, did he?"

"No, he did not." Amalas reclined in her chair. "Elisse? What would you think of Monterisso gaining an alliance with Cordonia?"

"I think it would benefit our country as well as theirs." She replied, setting Leo's folder down.

Another folder was handed to her. Her lips curved into a soft smile at the pictures of Cordonia's new crown prince. Each aspect her cousin found on Liam had made him a man she thought she would enjoy meeting.

"Marriage is the easiest and strongest alliance one can have with a foreign power."

Elisse looked up. "You're suggesting  I take part in Prince Liam's search."

"Exactly." Amalas smiled at her. "I can't think of a better queen for Cordonia than you." She reached over and grasped her hand. "But feel free to say no. I won't force you to do this if you do not wish to."

"I would like to meet him." Elisse admitted. She lowered his eyes to his picture. "He is very handsome."

"You always did like blue eyes." Amalas teased.

Elisse bit back a smile. "I do."

"Would you like to attend Cordonia's social season?"

Elisse slowly nodded. "Yes, I think I would."

Amalas picked up the letter from Constantine. "I'll go ahead and schedule your health exam."

"My what?" Elisse blinked in surprise.

"Cordonia's king isn't taking any chances that his last possible heir marries a woman unable to have children." Amalas grinned at her cousin. "Lucky for him that our family is notorious for our reproduction abilities."

Elisse laughed. "Our mothers certainly came from a large family." Her smile turned tender. "Whenever I think of my future, I always see myself with three or four children."

*****************

A few weeks later, Cordonia, the King's study...

"Have you made a list of those that are participating?" Regina asked her husband.

"I have." He handed her a sheet of paper.

The Queen scanned the names. "What happened to the Monterisso viscountess? I thought from Queen Amalas's letter that they were hoping to make a match."

Constantine's lips firmed in a disappointed frown. "She cannot have children."

Regina's countenance fell. "How tragic."

"Indeed." He replied. "It would have been a profitable match for us." He released a resigned sigh. "I suppose we now settle for Madeleine to take the crown again."

***************

The viscountess's chambers, Monterisso Palace...

"Elisse." Amalas pleaded. "Please, talk to me."

The young viscountess shook her head. Tears fell silently as she clutched a pillow to her stomach. Her thoughts were too much for her. All the plans she had dreamed of as a little girl were destroyed from one simple examination.

All from thinking Liam had beautiful blue eyes and seemed like a nice man she could easily fall for.

A choked sob burst forth as she doubled over from the pain of it all.

"Elisse." Amalas tried to wrap her arms around her. "I'm so sorry."

Elisse knew her cousin was. She knew Amalas would move heaven and earth for her if she could. Unfortunately, there were some things even a powerful queen could not do.

"We'll call in every specialist we can find." Amalas whispered, gently rocking Elisse. "I refuse to believe--"

"Stop!" Elisse cried out. "Please stop." Her anguished eyes met her cousin's. "I can't continue to hear doctors say that it is impossible."

"It's not." Amalas argued. "I can’t believe you are unable to--"

"I only have one ovary!" Elisse snapped. "It is so damaged from the endometriosis and benign tumors that I'm lucky to have a period every few months." She looked down at her worthless womb. "Even my uterus is filled with fibroids to the point they have warped it beyond repair. Surgery won't help." She wiped angrily at her tears. "No one will marry me now."

"That's not true! You--"

"Amalas, you know what nobles need." Elisse bit out. "They need heirs. They need a woman to fulfill that role. I'm completely obsolete in our world now."

She turned away from her cousin's sudden tears. She didn't want her pity. She didn't want anything except those elusive images of cuddling her own children.

If she could turn her mind off and focus on something else, anything else...

"I'm going to go away for a while."

Amalas jerked upright. "What?"

"I need to be alone." Elisse turned to face her. Her eyes filled with tears when her gaze dropped down to her cousin's ever growing baby bump. "I need to come to terms with all of this."

"Will you back in time for..." An expression of guilt flickered over the queen's face for such a selfish question.

"I'll try." Elisse hedged. "I promise."

She knew Amalas depended on her. Though the two had numerous cousins sprinkled in various titled positions all over Europe, they had always had a special bond that made them more like sisters. Perhaps it was their mothers' doing that made certain they would always have the other close at hand.

But Elisse knew deep down, she would have been close to her cousin without any outside influence. The notorious Queen of Spies distrusted most people, even some of their blood relatives. Yet, she trusted Elisse with everything.

She hated to leave her during her pregnancy, but the viscountess didn’t think she could take being around an expectant mother right now.

Amalas hugged her once more. "I'll arrange your travel. But I insist you take Felix with you as a bodyguard." She waited on Elisse's agreement. "Let me know where and when you wish to leave."

"I don't care where." Elisse whispered. "Just as long as I can leave as soon as possible."

***************

New York City, a month later...

"One nondescript bar as requested." Maxwell announced, holding the door open.

"Steaks for the table!" He yelled out.

"And four whiskeys!" Drake chimed in.

Riley rolled her eyes at Daniel. "You're really going to leave me with these guys?"

"I promise I'll work two of your shifts whenever you want." He bargained.

She let out a tired sigh. "Make it three and we have a deal."

He shook her hand. "You are brutal with negotiations."

She laughed, piled the tumblers of whiskey on her tray, and headed for the bachelor party.

She passed three drinks out. "I thought there were four of you."

"There are." Drake winked at her, causing a blush to form on her cheeks. "Right behind you is number four."

She turned around and blinked.

He's so handsome.

Liam smiled at her. "Pardon me, Miss?"

"Hmm?" She shook herself out of her daze. "Of course."

His smile flashed, making her knees feel slightly weak. "If you would..." He gestured toward his seat that she was blocking.

Her cheeks flared even more with color. "Right. Sorry."

She decided then and there to not allow her eyes to rest on him the remainder of their time here.

A few hours later, Liam approached her.

"Thank you for being so patient with us." His charming smile was a bit bashful. "I don't suppose I could repay such kindness with buying you a drink."

Riley found herself mesmerized by his blue eyes. "Where were you planning on going next?"

"I actually hoped you could help with that." He rubbed the back of his neck. "The guys hoped to go to a nightclub."

Her nose wrinkled. "I say forget the nightclub. There's a beach cove I could show you that is just the place to unwind."

"That sounds perfect." He held his hand out. "Shall we?"

****************

Six months later, Edenbrook Hospital, Boston...

Elisse chewed on her lower lip, wishing she could hear what the group of doctors were saying behind the glass partition.

After taking her file and passing it to a man in surgical scrubs, Dr. Ramsey walked back into her room.

"Ms. Mallin, after further examination," his expression gentled, "I believe your doctors in Monterisso were correct."

Elisse lowered her eyes. "I see."

"I still want to perform the surgeries we discussed." He sat down beside her hospital bed. "The severe pain in your uterus will only increase if we don't remove the fibroids. Dr. Tanka isn’t sure though how it will be after your surgery."

"Whatever you think." She closed her eyes tight. "It doesn't really matter what shape it is in. I suppose we should just remove it altogether."

Her doctor rested his hand over hers. He waited patiently for her to make eye contact.

"We won't know for certain until Dr. Tanka gets in there, but we believe we can save your ovary."

A bitter laugh escaped her lips. "By all means, hold on to that worthless body part."

His brow furrowed. "Elisse, I don't like the thought of you in this state of mind before surgery."

"I'm sorry." She replied automatically. "I don't mean to sound like this." Her gaze held his. "I--I never wanted much in life." Her shoulder lifted. "Perhaps it was the life I was born into, but having a family was more than passing on my noble title."

Ethan remained silent, allowing her time to express herself.

"I know I need to accept this, but I couldn't help but hope after reading about your diagnostic team," She rested her head back against her pillow, "I wanted the impossible."

"There's still a chance your uterus can remain intact. We might even be able to save some of your eggs." Ethan reminded her. "You could find a surrogate and--"

"I know." She sniffed. "And I also know there is a chance my eggs might not be in any shape to be saved."

She noticed his frown and gently squeezed his hand. "Thank you for trying, Dr. Ramsey."

"We're not done yet." He stood up when Dr. Tanka walked inside. "We'll talk more later."

Once everything was settled for her surgery in the morning, her bodyguard returned and kept vigil by her bedside.

"Felix," Elisse smiled softly at the middle aged man. "You should go to the hotel and rest."

"I'm fine m'lady." He grumbled.

Her eyebrow lifted at the six foot seven man. "That chair has to be uncomfortable."

A flicker of humor flashed in his eyes. "I've had better and worse, m'lady."

She began to laugh. "I can't imagine anything being worse than that."

"You haven't been on some of the queen's missions." He smiled warmly at her.

Elisse reached for his hand. "Thank you for watching over me."

He gently patted it, becoming gruff with his words that a lady didn't have to thank him for doing his job.

She smiled, taking comfort in his admonishment. Felix had tried to keep a professional distance from her, yet her sadness had him stepping in more and more to offer what comfort he could. He thought of her as a little sister and couldn't help but smile whenever she teased him as if he was family.

Such fondness for her added to the devotion and care he would have normally never given any other noble he was assigned to.

But Elisse was special. He hoped that somehow she would find a piece of happiness that could be all her own.

****************

New York, Statue of Liberty...

Riley swallowed nervously. She didn't know how she could refuse Liam, but it was no use.

After spending so much time with Drake while Liam kept up appearances with Madeleine, she had fallen out of love for Cordonia's new king. The grumpy commoner had touched her heart with his stories of not belonging. She had felt the same way while enduring every snub and insult from Madeleine and some of the other ladies at court.

With so little opportunities to be with Liam, and with feeling a bit hurt that her Prince Charming had not defended her against the allegations, she convinced herself that she had no choice. She had to be with the man that had stood by her side as she tried to locate Tariq.

"Liam, I can't marry you." Her words somehow came out steady. "I came to Cordonia for you, but I fell in love with Drake."

Liam took a step back. "What? You and Drake..."

He couldn't believe it. How had this happened without him noticing? He knew that Drake was fond of her and took her out some evenings. But love?

"Liam?" Riley was growing more nervous by his silence.

Liam couldn't think of what to say.

What should I do?

He only knew he wasn't ready to lose her from his life.

"You...you intend to live in Cordonia?"

She slowly nodded. "If that's okay. I want to see where things go with Drake."

Her words were another bitter slash to his heart.

"Of course." He slid his hands in his pockets to keep from grasping her and forcing her to take her words back. "Just because you don't feel as I do, I would never hold that against you. Cordonia is your home."

She visibly relaxed. "Thank you Liam."

"I think," he focused on her, "I think you will be a benefit to Cordonia. I'm going to make you a duchess."

"A duchess?!" She gasped. "But..."

He knew this would keep her at hand. Give him a reason to see her without appearing as the desperate, rejected suitor. Perhaps now that the scandal was over and things calmed down, she might realize that what she thought was love for Drake was nothing more than gratefulness for his assistance.

Am I wrong for hoping this? Should I instead hope their love is true?

Liam forced a smile. "I arranged for us to go to the top." He motioned toward the statue. "Would you still like to?"

Riley returned his smile. "I really can't pass up an opportunity like that, can I?"

"I hoped you wouldn't." He replied.

He followed behind her, wishing this night had ended differently.

***************

Another five months later, Cordonia...

"Anton and his minions are in chains!" Riley held her glass high as the court cheered.

Liam tugged at the stiff collar of his jacket. It had been a day filled with emotions that he could not share with a single soul. Seeing the woman he thought he loved marry his best friend had cut deep. Discovering they had been kidnapped had caused both anger and worry as he rushed to face down the man who dared to take the throne from him.

Witnessing Riley and Drake fight side by side, each trying to protect the other had been eye opening. Neither cared about anything other than keeping the one they loved safe.

He couldn't begrudge their happiness. Nor could he continue to wish that circumstances had gone differently. Riley was not meant for him after all.

He knew he would have to let the past go and somehow find a way to move forward into the future.

******************

A month later, Monterisso Royal Palace...

"King Liam chose an heir!" Amalas exclaimed when Elisse walked into the main hall.

"He chose one? That is shocking." Elisse leaned forward to see the report that just came in. "Who's the lucky child?"

"That's just it." Amalas dropped the paper. "He has named the yet to be conceived child of the Duke and Duchess of Valtoria as his heir."

Elisse's brow furrowed. "But, he might still marry. His own children should be next in line."

"He says differently." Amalas pulled up his news conference for her cousin to watch.

"This seems wrong." Elisse mumbled. " I know those two are his closest friends--"

"And they are Guardian and Champion of the Realm." Amalas reminded her with an eye roll. "That's what he has had to use to get the people on board with his decision."

"Poor Liam." Elisse couldn't help but sympathize with the king. "He's being pressured on all sides for something he can't completely control."

"I think I might pay a visit." Amalas tapped her finger against her chin. "Perhaps see if the new duke and duchess are amenable to a possible alliance."

"It couldn't hurt." Elisse added.

"Indeed." The Queen smiled warmly at her. "I want you to come along. It has been too long since you and I went on a trip. I could use your ability to read people while I guide them toward a possible arranged marriage for their child and mine."

"I suppose I have to do as my queen commands." Elisse teased. "And I've yet to ever say no to my cousin."

"Doubly lucky for me." Amalas smirked.

"When do we leave?"

"Tomorrow."

#misfortune's intentions #choices the royal heir #liam x oc #drake x riley #choices trh