#and logan turns around to see remus on his knee with a box that was hidden inside the plushie

[skeletinmoss]

The curse of the dark Phoenix

Chapter 3: Mage from a box

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The three great mages turned around. Nervous, shocked, curious.

They found that the room behind them was now filled with miniature stars, lighting the place up.

Allowing them to get a proper look at the figure.

It was a man. Pale with ravel black hair falling to his shoulders, shining with pops of teal and purple in the light, bringing out his amethyst colored eyes that were accented with dark shadow underneath.

He had a patch of facial hair just on his chin making him look more mature.

From his ears dangled golden earrings.

And he was dressed as though he was expected to meet the king. He was wearing a black, billowing shirt and a purple shoulder piece with a high collar and tulle over sleaves. The shoulder piece was adorned with golden detailing on the edge of the collar. And solid golden emblems on both arms and across the sternum. The detailing depicting wings and feathers, with teal gemstones embedded in the designs.

The cuffs on the black shirt were teal colored and corset belt also both with golden embroidery.

The tight fitting pants were mostly black but with a line of golden detailing down the side that highlighted the silhouette. Paired with a pair of knee high boots with again golden detailing and a slight heel.

Everything about him said “this guy is a big deal,” except his expression.

He looked at them like he needed a nap.

“I guess I should properly thank you for letting me out,” the man mused a little awkwardly as he adjusted his cuffs and collar. “I owe you one…” he admitted, looking around the room a bit absentminded. “Though, mind telling me where I am? Last I remember I was at lake Estramos I think… This is nowhere near that, I know that much,” the man recalled.

“Who, who are you?” Logan asked absolutely shocked.

The man, who once was Storm, but probably wasn’t actually named Storm, rolled his eyes.

“Why bother hiding away V? You can’t help but outclass us, people are going to know you soon enough,” he said in a tone that implied he was mockingly quoting someone. “Gues not Jay,” he huffed.

The stranger turned to them and made a vague bowing gesture. “Virgil. If you want to be formal the title is Virgil, mage of the night flame, but please don’t,” the man, Virgil of the night flame explained.

Roman had heard the title ‘night flame’ before…

From the way Logan and Pat shifted he guessed it struck them as familiar too.

“You said Lake Estramos… That is on the other side of the country,” Patton offered.

“The other side… Not very specific, but never mind…” Virgil strode forward making the trio move to let him through. His clothes flowed along with his movements making them seem even more impossibly graceful. Roman could barely hear any sound from where his boots touched the hardwood floors. Again he felt like this man would not look out of place at a royal ball or any equally prestigious gathering.

Virgil leaned over the desk and looked out at the sky, it was cloudy.

“That won’t do,” he muttered absentmindedly, waving his hand and with a gleam of purple the clouds parted, leaving the mages behind him completely aghast.

Did that man just wave away the clouds as though it was a smudge on his mirror?

“Something is wrong with the stars…” Mage Virgil mused disturbed. “This doesn’t look right… This place is a mess. No self-respecting mage would let it get this bad. Even Remus would think this is too much of a dump… Fine,” Virgil huffed annoyed and next thing he was holding the box. The one with the dangerous ingredients in them. “Wait what are you…” Roman warned, but Virgil had already retrieved no less than three forbidden substances while grabbing a few less dangerous ones from his immediate surroundings and rubbed them together. “Can’t believe I gotta do this shit before a nap,” he grumbled and then his hand glowed again and there was an illusion of a different sky before him. The three mages had inched a bit closer to see what he was doing.

“Okay we’re off by a few degrees north…” the sky moved. “This should be it but the allignments don’t match… when do they match,” Virgil muttered. “It’s summer so maybe just…” another shift in the illusory constellations. “No that’s not right either.”

“Ahm, the arch mage disappeared thirty years ago,” Patton offered helpfully, blushing bright red as the fact that he’d been baby talking this man started to settle in.

Virgil cursed under his breath. “Three decades? Frick where are those idiots? No way they wouldn’t notice I was gone for that long…” The fake sky changed, constellations shifting slowly. “No still not right…” Virgil muttered. Just a touch of concern in his voice. “Four? No… The frick… Fifty years…” The illusory sky stopped moving and Roman saw that the fake stars matched the real stars perfectly now. “Okay, that’s a long ass time. What the fuck did I miss…?” the mysterious mage wondered frustrated, waving the illusion away and turning around to pace with that unearthly grace.

“No chance Jay and Re would forget about me for fifty years. Maybe they wouldn’t question me avoiding people for a year or two but I’d still check in. They know that…” he muttered.

“Ahm… Sir,” Logan said.

Virgil stopped and looked up. “Just Virgil is fine. We’re all mages here,” he assured Logan.

The trio exchanged a look. They hadn’t seen too much of this man’s power yet, but they had felt it when he passed them. They were definitely not the same.

“Virgil,” Logan allowed. Deciding not to argue decorum with the clearly more powerful person in the room. He’d just used three different forbidden herbs to check a fancy calendar and didn’t even seem a little affected.

“Fifty years ago the black magic plague happened. Many powerful mages fell victim… Even if your friends escaped it, it has been fifty years…” Logan explained delicately.

Or as delicately as you can tell a man that everyone he knew is probably dead or close to it.

He looked to be in his late twenties, maybe early thirties if he’d aged very favorably.

Virgil frowned. “What nonsense is that?” he scoffed. “First of all, they aren’t very easily killed, especially by something mundane like old age. I’m pretty sure I got stabbed in the back before I ended up here… It feels like I got stabbed at least…” Virgil frowned, looking properly disturbed by something. Then he shook his head and got back to the topic at hand. And his pacing.

Every time he turned his hair and clothes swished in mesmerizing ways Roman found.

“In any case. Stabbing in the back didn’t do the job, clearly, and my friends have survived worse than that. And a black magic plague? Not a chance. Even if it was a thing, which any mage worth their robes should know it isn’t, J and Re wouldn’t be so lame as to catch it. They’d be offended at the suggestion. No… Something happened. Like me ending up here fifty years later… Where did you find me?” Virgil asked stopping abruptly and looking at them.

“Um there was a box on the desk… it was chained up,” Roman offered.

Virgil looked back at him, fully focused on him for the first time since he took human form. Which meant that Roman had to acknowledge a few things. This man was dangerously powerful, potentially evil (even if he didn’t know about the forbidden herbs thing, something had caused him to be locked in that box and while Roman’s gut told him he wasn’t bad, the judge was still out on that one) and very, very hot. He was too gay for this.

Virgil cocked his head, pensive. “You mentioned a box earlier. You think it had a hiding spot underneath a desk but was left behind out of its usual place,” he recalled. Roman nodded nervously, having a hard time speaking when those eyes were staring down into his soul.

Virgil cocked his head, nodded, took a deep breath and relaxed his posture a bit before addressing them again. “No need to be scared…” he promised. “Let’s take a step back. Hi, once again. Call me Virgil. And you three are?” the mage offered, sounding softer than before.

“Ah, Patton, martial crafter,” Patton offered. Virgil nodded, not as surprised as people usually were when he said that.

“Logan, I am the diviner of the group,” he offered. Virgil’s eyes drifted to the books bound on Logan’s hips, seemingly skeptical.

“And ah, Roman. Herbalist, medic…” Roman offered, again Virgil wasn’t surprised, but he’d seen Roman in action so that made sense.

“The stone… Did you figure what it was yet?” he asked instead, surprising Roman.

“Um… Logan is more the identify the things guy…” Roman smiled a bit uncomfortably at being put in the spot like that. How did he even know he’d been meditating on that?

“Try anyway,” Virgil instructed, eying him with curiosity and patience.

Roman frowned but retrieved the stone from where he’d dropped it when the whole ‘the phoenix is actually a person’ drama started.

“Okay…” he muttered holding the stone, feeling it the way he’d been doing earlier. He felt that magic again, the impatience…

“Don’t fight against it,” Virgil said, suddenly besides him, but Roman wasn’t scared. He didn’t feel like Virgil was trying to do anything bad, rather trying to help.

“Trust your magic, let it flow. You are a Great Mage, you have opened the path of your mana and connected to the magical flow on a deeper level. Trust that connection you worked so hard for. Don’t overthink it,” Virgil insisted.

Roman nodded, a bit flustered at having the attractive mage hold an unprompted tutoring session standing right behind him.

Roman tried to do what he was told. He took a breath and let his magic seep through his fingers into the stone. It was fuzzy at first. Like a room full of people talking in a strange language. And suddenly it came to him. “It’s a variation on a sending stone, but this one only listens,” he realized.

“An eavesdropping stone if you will,” Virgil nodded, not surprised. “Something like that could definitely come in handy if you want to get the jump on a mage who’s traveling…” Virgil mused.

“You are not suggesting the arch mage did this to you,” Logan chided.

Virgil shook his head. “Not a clue who he is so I wouldn’t know if he’d care enough about my existence to bother. It’s possible he did get the jump on the guy who got to me and took the box I was in and this stone from him. I’m not jumping to conclusions any time soon,” Virgil assured them.

That was a comfort for the group. They weren’t sure if they could handle this mage deciding to take revenge on the mage. He might beat them to his location. If he was alive to begin with, they wouldn’t be able to protect him.

Virgil didn’t seem to notice their relief or at least not care about it. He turned his attention to Logan.

“But that brings me to you glasses. What’s with all the books?” Virgil challenged.

Logan’s hands reached for his most prized possessions. “Spellbooks. For divination,” he explained confused.

Virgil scoffed. “You are a Great Mage too right? You should’ve left books behind when you went from wizard to mage,” he pointed out.

“Well… Typically, yeah,” Logan admitted a little flushed. “But divination is tricky and can be overwhelming and I just…”

Virgil disappeared from Roman’s side and appeared on Logan’s, making the mage jump.

“Relax nerd. Did you or did you not make it to Great Mage?” Virgil asked.

“I… How do you even know? We never mentioned our rank,” Logan pointed out defensively.

“Despite the fact that you guys are half-assing your spells you mean? I can tell you made the connection. Even in my guidance form I could tell. You guys were born under some seriously generous stars by the way. I don’t know how your teachers fucked up your lessons so bad,” Virgil explained.

“Now, Like I told Roman, don’t overthink it. I can tell that might be something you have a harder time with than your friends. I’ve been there with some of the more complicated stuff too. But your magic is there to help you, not hurt you. Close your eyes, focus on a question, just one, and let your magic find the answers,” Virgil said lowly.

Roman couldn’t quite help the sting of disappointment when he realized that Virgil had not singled him out but was apparently giving pointers to everyone.

“Something simple, like the weather for tomorrow, or just what’s up with the scroll in your hand,” Virgil stated. “Do you have your question?” he asked.

Logan hesitated but nodded.

“Okay, open your eyes, and remember, focus,” Virgil said.

Logan took a deep breath and opened his eyes.

And collapsed with a scream of pain.

“Hey, what did I say? Focus. One thing,” the purple clad mage said as he knelt down and laid his hands on Logan’s shoulder.

“I can’t, too many questions,” Logan gasped, clasping his head.

“Deep breaths. Focus on my voice for now okay? Maybe a busy room like this wasn’t the greatest place to do this exercise,” Virgil allowed.

“I would suggest practicing it a bit more when you are out of here. Maybe on some things you know the answers to already. I had a classmate who was a little wanna-know-it-all and couldn’t pick questions easily and this method seemed to help them,” he told Logan.

Logan took a few breaths and then nodded, indicating he was alright.

Virgil rose to his feet and turned to Patton who let out a squeak.

“I saw you use magic to open that chest earlier,” Virgil stated pointing to one of the chests Patton had explored after dinner. “Your form was excellent. A little immature maybe but that doesn’t affect your spell casting. What you lack is Instinct.

If you are a fighter class mage then you should asses any obstacle, whether it’s a locked chest or a stranger, in an instant. You have it down pretty alright with objects from what I saw, but you are clearly not trusting your gut when it comes to people. You can’t protect anyone if you don’t know how the threat measures up against the abilities of your group.

You can’t be sure if someone is a threat if you are not willing to believe someone could be a bad person. Don’t get me wrong, being optimistic about people and junk is not a flaw. But you have to be willing to accept that I might be a threat in order for your magic to tell you whether you should be worried about me. You might actually end up liking the answer.”

Patton fidgeted flustered.

“Do you really want to be too late to react if I end up trying to harm Roman?” Virgil asked.

Patton’s eyes widened and he shook his head.

“Then believe that I might. Let your gut tell you if I will,” the mage from the box insisted.

Patton took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Roman’s eyes widened as he saw his friend glow blue for a moment. Patton shivered and then relaxed.

“I… I think you could. But I don’t feel like you want to harm us,” he said.

“Good job,” Virgil nodded. “This should have been lesson one after becoming a mage. And it should have been part of the theoretic studies during your wizard training. Seriously what happened to all the decent teachers at the academy the past 50 years?” The mage huffed.

The trio exchanged some looks. This man wasn’t making any sense, but he had offered them help without any prompting from them or asking something in return… Roman really didn’t know what to make of him. Was he crazy, brilliant, good or bad?

Logan looked at Virgil, studying him and his eyes glowed blue. “Wait… Now I know where I heard your title before… You are the mage from the stories of old! The one who tamed the stars!” Logan exclaimed. And just like that the stories came rushing back to Roman.

“Oh! I remember!” Patton exclaimed. “The story said your house is so full of spirits it’s practically alive,” he pointed out.

“And that you laughed in death’s face!” Roman added wide eyed.

Virgil rolled his eyes. “That’s all a little exaggerated, but I guess that would be me,” he huffed reluctantly.

“But… Are you sure it was only 50 years sir?- I mean Virgil,” Roman corrected when he saw Virgil’s warning look. “Because you played a pivotal role in the founding of my grandfather’s home town… And they are celebrating their 100th jubilee next fall,” he continued confused.

“Oh. Your gramps is from Sanlow? Small world. I was at the 50 year jubilee, they know how to throw a party. I might pop by for the 100th if I’ve figured out who put me in a box and where they put my friends by then…” Virgil chuckled. “Guess they’d be surprised to see me,” he smiled a little fondly.

Well, he was the guy… But how did he not look like he’d been at least seventy when he went in the box…

The group exchanged looks again. Wondering if it was wise to ask.

“Anyway, if you four will give me an hour for a powernap,” Virgil said as stretched himself.

“I have more questions before I can get started on finding my friends and I guess I’ll answer a few in return, plus there is that favor so we should make sure you guys can cash it in. But before any of that, I really need to recharge. See you,” he bid before heading for the stairs.

“You can’t sleep in The Arch Mage’s bed!” Logan exclaimed, his voice skipping an octave in indignation.

Virgil turned. “I wasn’t gonna. I’m not wasting magic on making a bed that’s been abandoned for 30 years passable. I just need a bit of free floor, which I don’t have much of here especially if you three are gonna keep doing whatever it is you were here for while I nap.

You are gonna have to tell me who this guy is when I get back by the way,” he said dismissively before making his way down the stairs.

“That… That was a lot,” Roman mused, looking at the stone in his hand thoughtfully.

“I know you said he wasn’t intending on harming us Patton, but I still do not trust him. Whether on purpose or by ignorance, he seems to disregard all magical decorum and he is clearly insistent on making us do the same,” Logan huffed.

“But… He wasn’t wrong… his guidance helped,” Roman offered.

“This time. And it didn’t do me that much good. He got lucky with you two,” Logan insisted.

“What did you see that made you realize who he was?” Roman asked curiously.

Logan opened his mouth and then turned away flustered.

“Not… Not his past really. But I saw some of his spells… That’s when it clicked,” Logan admitted.

Roman looked around them, at the little lights floating in the air.

“Well, we might as well take the time we have to finish up here for the day. Maybe think of what we can ask the High Mage later. Maybe he knows something that will help us, even if he doesn’t realize it yet. While he was locked up before the Plague and the Arch Mage became famous, he was clearly very active in the decades before. They might’ve crossed paths. He might know of a secondary home or something useful,” Roman suggested.

Logan and Patton nodded. Though Logan still seemed a bit put off by his experience.

Roman knew his friend. He was likely torn between blaming Virgil and feeling like he was lacking in talent himself to not get it ‘right’ the way Roman and Patton had.

He understood why Logan was apprehensive of the man. Part of Roman was also scared of him and his casual attitude towards dangerous things.

But he couldn’t help but feel like the powerful man was sincere in his gratitude and helpful intent.

The medic shook his head and turned to the piles of items. Best figure out what might be useful later and compile it. Tomorrow they had to have some kind of clue.

#sanders sides #virgil sanders #ts virgil #roman sanders #ts roman #prinxiety #logan sanders #ts logan #patton sanders #ts patton #the dark phoenix au

[asksuccubussides]

What if you were an asexual succubus, wouldn't that be fucked up or what Chapter 12

Masterpost of chapters

When supernaturals speak in their native language it looks like this

Logan blared at the younger demon from the brim of his chunky glasses before he took them off to clean the glass with the blue cloth he kept in his chest pocket.

"It has been 37 days if my counting is correct, and it is" Remus looked up from the english homework he'd been doing as Logan spoke "That is an unusually long time for a job like this to drag on for. Is it the killing you are having trouble with? You remember I told you to come to me once you had seduced him, do you not? I can offer assistance"

The younger demon mimicked stabbing before doing a thumbs up. 'Killing fine' He wrote on the paper with 4 exclamation points to be extra clear.

"I see" Logan checked the glasses before putting them on again. He scratched the end of his thumb against a spot in his greying beard ".....Remus, Do you experience sexual attractation?"

The blood in the tips of Remus' fingers turned cold. Was it meant as a warning, a threat or a simple question to see if he was so obviously bad for the job that they could send him up to heaven and replace him with someone else and also probably send Roman up to heaven as well while they were at it and it would be his fault and-

Remus nodded and gave a double thumbs up while smiling so brightly he could be put as the poster child for sexual attraction.

"Well then. I suppose I'll see you in a few days if you have nothing more to add" Logan stayed sitting for a few moments after saying it as if he was waiting for the other demon to do something but eventually he got up, took his bag and left.

Soon after he had left Remus noticed blood dripping down from his nose.

--

39 days since Remus was cast out of hell

"Aw, look these are all of my saved vip bracelets because I am such a popular starlet" Janus showed Remus a bundle of flimsy and aging paper bracelets held together in a jar together with some other knick knacks. He snickered at the genuine look of curiosity on the demon's face "I could pretend to take your nose and you would believe it, you absolute stupid collection of tiny brain cells"

Remus moved his arm casually around Janus' shoulder to get a better look of the bracelets "What!? Not vip thingie!? Bracelet for ritual then?"

"Well.....Perhaps if you look at it from a very specific angle" Remus sneezed at how close the word angle was to angel.

They were sitting on the floor of Janus' dorm room, sorting out the things to keep and things to discard before the imminent move to the new apartment. With one of the paper bracelets held between his fingers Jan waved it towards Virgil who had been laying in his bed looking at youtube videos and halfheartedly sorting his clothes into a box. He moved one side of his headphones off his ear while giving them an annoyed look.

"Viv-darling, Look"

"Ouugh. I knew packing would lead to nostalgia shit"

Finally Jan turned back to the demon to explain, the demon who had started to rock back and forth on the balls of his feet while pressing his knees to his chest like an excited gargoyle.

"They're all of the hospital bracelets I got when I was younger" Janus explained. All of the information that was usually placed on a hospital bracelet were impossible to read as the entire thing had been covered with skulls and lightning bolts drawn in black and purple along with text written in by marker "Vivzie would make them look like concert bracelets or more accurately what a child thought concert bracelets were. Very cool concerts of course. Right Viv"

Virgil had his head stuffed inside one of the halfpacked boxes "Yeah. Yeah. I got my matching ones here somewhere. Can't be arsed to find them"

"His are just paper. Not exclusive hospital ones like miiinnnee" Janus said to Remus to which the demon booed in agreement. "Let's see which cool concerts we were apparently going to"

He picked a random bracelet and held it for the demon to read. Jan looped his finger around Remus' choker and pulled him closer to get his focus but really it was just because he enjoyed pulling him around.

The demon squinted and read aloud "Av- Avrel Laevinge"

Janus fake gasped "What a cool and outrageous artist"

"Hey! We were like 7! It's not like I came out the bloody womb knowing who My chem was! And don't disrespect Avril's legacy!"

"He's so cute when he gets annoyed, innit?" Janus teased to which Remus nodded along.

Virgil rolled his eyes before moving out of bed "Whatever. I'm taking a silly little mental health walk so you two can smosh and shag it out"

"We don't smoosh! And we certaintly don't shag!" Janus put his hand over his heart to look offended "We're packing! Obviously!"

"Yeah! I'm packing huge penis!" Remus added with full confidence which only made Virgil leave the room even faster.

As the door closed Janus grabbed both ends of Remus' mustache and gently shook his head around while murmuring "Darling you are so stupid" Before pressing a kiss to the tip of his nose.

It made the demon happily wag his tail around and for the first time he wished he could show Janus it. He wished he could show him how intensely red his horns glowed whenever the two of them got close and he wished he could tell him how his mouth watered every time he thought of tasting him.

"Anyhow, you can be a dear and fold all of my sweaters into that box while I sit here and be pretty"

Remus did a stupid little grin "If I get anotha kith"

"Oooh you're really trying it aren't you mister. Weren't you the one who agreed to do what I say for forever" Janus teased before kissing him on the cheek "There there darling. Now do what I said"

"Yess sir ma'am!!"

--

In the time leading up to their date to pride Remus found himself in a routine. He had completely lost the ability to sleep at this point because of recurring dreams containing his brother plaguing his mind every time he tried to so close his eyes. Instead he spent his time hiding out in the library creating little lumps of garbage art and looking at horror films. His by now daily nosebleeds were a great resource because it meant he could plaster weird blood snot onto his garbage art!

The delight of his day was when Janus come in for work and he got to tell him about the latest film he'd seen during his lunch break.

Some days Janus invited him over for dinner at the dorm and sometimes he stayed to watch movies together with him and Virgil afterwards. Whenever it was a horror movie Virgil would spill out every trivia he could think of while blaring at Remus in an attempt to show that he was much cooler and every time Janus invited Remus to share a blanket with him it looked like a blood vessel was about to pop in Virgil's forehead.

Neither of the roomates had the funds to afford a moving service so for the two days before the actual move Remus helped them carry boxes on the bus from the college to their new apartment. It was a tiny one room apartment technically meant for one person but they had managed to press in a bunk bed along with a desk, the tiniest of sofas and a dinner table. The biggest loss was honestly the lack of wall space for Virgil's many posters and Janus having had to restort to putting drawers under the bed to fit all of his clothes.

Remus' vision had started to fill with dark spots as he put down the last box on the floor of the new apartment and laughed at the pang of hunger filling his stomach. (He'd gotten a nosebleed on the bus on the way here. Emile always told him with a worried look that that was a sign of nutritional deficiencies).

"Vivzie says he'll pick up some groceries and then come here" Janus said while checking his phone.

The demon lifted his shirt up to wipe a few pearls of sweat away from his forehead so he could lick the sweat off his shirt. Yummy. When he looked back up Janus was right about to poke him between the ribs.

"You're stronger than you look" Jan murmured while Remus wheezed from the sudden blow to his ribs.

"Ah! That felt fun! Do that again!" He sounded like a delighted balloon on it's way to deflation when Jan poked him again.

With the wheezing he barely even heard Janus letting out a big long sigh as he looked around the apartment before stretching his arms out "It is ssssuch a horrible no good at all feeling to finally be almost done with this whole moving process. Hopefully Vivzie is going to have less bouts of stressing his hair out now. And" He spun around and pulled in Remus' collar to make him bend down so they were eye to eye. "You can come over for dinner on Saturday night. Viv has a night shift. Sounds good?"

"I got nothing else to do! I can come...Hehe..cum"

"Good!"

Remus took two of Janus' dreadlocks in his hand and held them up in the air to make a sort of heart shape "Hey Jannie look" The demon lit up like the sun when he saw the other man smile and quickly pulled him into a bear hug making Jan's face get pressed right into his chest "You're the only light in my life right now Janus"

As he spoke the last sentence in his native language he realized it was the first time he had said the other man's name in his natural accent. It felt like a lighting bolt had been struck down upon his head making his skin sizzle and burn away as he heard himself say it.

"What did you say?" Janus' voice was muffled from still being pressed against man tits.

"I wish I could kill you without making you disappe-"

He was cut off by the sound of Janus' phone ringing. He quickly backed out of the hug and took the call while turning his face away. After a few seconds of muffled words he placed his hand against Remus' shoulder and pushed for him to turn to the exit.

"I have to leg it but I suppose I'll see you on Saturday" Janus held the phone away from his head while saying it.

"Wha- Whu-"

"Viv's having a panic attack, I have to go" He was practically pushing the demon out the door.

(Janus found his friend a few minutes later in a panicked state of trying to appear norma while pacing back and forth behind the supermarket. He let Virgil's words of worry spill out over him, about how it had been too many people, how it was stupid he couldn't grocery shop alone, how it was simple for normal people. Before Jan placed Virgil's hand to his neck so he could feel the pulse of the blood pumping in Jan's neck against the tips of fingers. It was the best way to keep him in the present and to remind him they were both alive and well.

He stayed and waited until Virgil had stopped shaking. Just like he had yesterday when Virgil became overwhelmed by talking to the landlord and the day before that when the prospect of packing up the last things was too much and just like he would tomorrow morning when he will wake up to Virgil hyperventilating because of the dead bird laying outside their door. He would let his friend hear the steady rhytmn of his heart until he was okay again every time).

--

44 days since Remus was cast out of hell

Remus started to cough from the sickingly sweet smell that followed Virgilbefore he even had had the chance to hear the emo's dragging footsteps come towards him. Instead of turning around to greet him the demon skipped back to the most gruesome scene of the movie he was watching so when Viv came up to him he would be grossed out.

The demon grinned as he felt a tap against his shoulder before hearing a groan of disgust. He spun around in his chair just as Viv was about to start speaking to catch him off guard.

"Hiii Virginnn" He felt a lump in his throat that made it harder to breathe as soon as he said it.

In response Virgil crossed his arms in a supposed attempt to look more intimidating though it didn't do much against the way he stood with his shoulders slumped and back crooked like a shrimp making him appear way tinier than he actually was. His bangs falling in front of his eyes so that he constantly had to readjust them to see properly didn't help either.

"I know you're coming over tomorrow 'cause everything Janus knows eventually comes around to me knowing-"

"Is Jannie not like constant lying though" Remus interrupted.

"Not to me. Though if that's your impression of him maybe your relationship is kinda fraught and fucked up" Virgil stopped for a moment as if he was trying to remember what he had practiced to say beforehand "Look, I think you're uhh dodgy as all hell and uh yeah I wanted to talk to you but" He glanced around the other people in the library "In a less crowded place"

"As all of Hell!?" He pouted and fluttered his eyelids "You proooomiiiseeee I'm as dodgy as ALL of hell! That's so sweet!! OH! AH! VIrgin! I'd love to!!"

The demon jumped up from his seat and threw his arm tightly around Virgil's shoulders. He pressed the man close to his side and shook him lightly around while beggining to walk.

"Dude, Aren't you going to turn the computer off-"

"SO WHERE YOU WANNA GO?! To the CEMTARY!? To the CLUB! To the CORONER! Another place starting with C!? To a CUNT!?"

His smile widened when he saw the emo's cheeks begin to light up bright red from blushing "Can you quiet down"

"NO!"

Virgil hurried his steps to get out of the library with the demon continuing to hang on. Remus even got up on the tips of his toes as he walked so he could rub his chin against the top of Virgil's head which made the emo swat him away like a fly before pulling his hood up. He saw the disabled restroom right outside of the library and bolted for it.

As soon as the two of them had gotten into the spacious for a restroom but still quite small room Virgil pushed the other man away from himself and turned to lock the door behind them.

"OOOOoohHHHhh! For someone named Virgin you a lot more forward horny than I think! Public bathroom,,,,At school!! Is this some kink-"

"SHut up! Shut up! You don't know me and you certaintly don't know Janus! You come into our lives and prance around for like a month and suddenly you think you're as bloody tight as ever with him!?"

"Heheh...come"

Virgil took a step towards the demon "Dude, When are you going to leave?"

"Why should I?" Remus shot right back.

"'Cause you will! Eventually! I can tell you that you're just here to hurt him-"

"What do you even study? I mean you are busy often, what do you do" The demon interrupted making the other man get caught of guard.

"Not like- Dude You don't have to know that- I was saying-"

"I bet it is some nerd shit like computer tapping"

"It's a vocational program! I'm studying building and shit! I like keeping my hands busy to not feel anxious, okay! I got a truck certificate!" Virgil shook his head and took a deep breathe "You're just taking the piss out on me! I'm not stupid! I can tell! This isn't what the conversation is about!"

"The conversation is about human skeleton"

"NO! Oh god you are stupid! I don't understand what Jannie sees in you"

"He sees I'm stupid" Remus replied with a smile shining of blind self confidence.

Virgil took another step closer making the demon naturally lean back to avoid him making his back touch against the wall. The man moved close to him and held his finger up to the demon's neck while etching his eyes into his.

"You're going to hurt him!" He practically hissed you "And I won't let you!"

"....How would I?....Describe it.. Will it be with a knife or a suffocation or what"

The demon expected some sort of blabber from the human about how he was going to hurt Janus emotionally or perhaps by leaving or something similarly metaphorical. Instead Virgil kept his wide staring eyes locked into his and pushed his finger into Remus' chest.

"I can't tell you that. But you will"

"...."

Remus tried to come up with a response but he couldn't. Instead he let up into a raspy laugh as he grabbed lightly around the other man's hand and forced it away from his chest.

"Are you trying to seem threatening. Genuine question. I can't tell"

A wrinkle of annoyance appeared besides Virgil's mouth as he let up into some sort of growl which Remus took as a yes.

"You bad at it! BAD! Here, Daddy Remus will teach"

"I don't-"

With a hard push right into Virgil's spine he was forced to straighten his back making his bones let out a groaning crack before Remus grabbed ahold of his shoulders and pushed them back just as hard.

"Yeaaah Puff your chest out! Daydream a picture of big proud bird! Puff puff!"

The demon caressed his finger under Virgil's chin for a moment before pushing his face up as well followed by flicking his bangs back with his long boney fingers so Viv's eyes became fully visible. Remus had expected an annoying cold blue eye color but in actuallity he had quite a dull average kind of brown. He licked the tips of his fingers before moving them against Virgil's eyesbrows so they were properly furrowed in rage.

"HAH! Now you look much scary. And to finish here I will show you"

Remus pressed his back against the wall before setting Virgil's hands on the collar of his shirt. He gave a cocky smile while waving his finger towards him.

"Come on Virgin boy. REally puSH! With ANGER! Make it seem like you're killing me!"

He pulled Virgil closer to himself to make his grip near his neck stronger.

"Push me into the wall till my back breaks!!"

Without any warning Virgil pushed forward and kissed the demon so hard it knocked the back of his head again the wall.

For a moment Virgil's hand flew up to grasp at Remus' hair as he stared wide eyed at the human. A wave of lust of massive size was forced down his throat all at once making it impossible to gasp for air. It filled his mouth so tightly it felt as if it would all spill out if he even moved.

But it was only for a second and then Virgil's eyes flew just as wide open as the demon's and his gaze flickered between their forced together lips and a spot right above Remus' hair before he broke from the kiss and backed as far away as he could.

"I- I am- I'm sorry" He stuttered as he desperately wiped away at his lips with the back of his hoodie sleeve. A slideshow of expressions all passed upon his face in the matter of a second.

"That was the horniest kiss I've ever had" The demon mumbled to himself.

As Remus sucked in a hasty breath he could feel some of the lust spill out between his lips and dribble down his chin as the saliva from the other man dried on his skin. He shook his head and looked up to see Virgil pacing back and forth while his fingers constantly ran up and down his long bangs.

"I get that for humans- uhh humans in this country coming out is like big thing" Remus said while trying to look friendly "But you coulda just told me you liked guys and cock and ba-"

"SHUT UP!"

The scream was so loud Remus could swear the mirror shook ever so slightly. Virgil's expression had stagnated on a vile snear.

"YOU- YOU SEDUCED ME! YOU DIRTY FUCKING DEMON!"

"Hey!-"

"YOU KISSED ME! YOU HEAR THAT! I WOULD- I AM NOT- I WOULD NEVER KISS SOMEONE LIKE YOU!"

"Buddy I'm-"

"THIS IS EXACTLY THE TYPE OF SHIT YOU'D DO TO JANUS! AND- AND I WOULD NEVER! I- I WOULD-" Virgil scrambled for words as his body trembled. His chin tensed up making it clear he was holding back tears "YOU'RE DISGUSTING AND-"

"I sure am"

"-I WON'T LET YOU HURT JANUS! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I CAN AND HAVE- WHAT I WOULD DO FOR HIM!"

"Apparently you won't come out for him uhuhuh" Remus let up into a snort to himself but his chuckles died out when Virgil started to cry "Woah uhhh man dude. Dude? You like saying dude. Dude uh I mean that kiss uhh clearly you got a lot of like shit and fuck pented up. Have you tried uh jerking off. I dunno. Do you need a napkin or do you want to snot into my shir-"

"I NEED YOU AND YOUR UGLY MUG TO DISAPPEAR!"

"Heyyy just 'cause I'm planning on killing the guy doesn't mean you have to insult my face! hehe that was a joke. Very joke!"

With his adrenaline pumping Virgil moved to unlock the door but missed several times before his shaking hands actually reached the doorhandle. He cast one last look back at the demon and hissed out "You better not show up at the apartment tomorrow!!"

--

The day after Remus showed up at the apartment just a bit after the time he and Janus had planned because he had been stealing another car in preparation for driving his human friend into town to go to the pride even. Virgil would have already left for his night shift by the time he got there and he didn't really take the emo's threats seriously anyway. In a way he even appreciated it because that kiss had been so jampacked with lust despite not being an inherently sexual act that he was pretty sure he would be able to survive for a few more days without having to feed off of a human.

"Here we are, my dear disgusting little lump of muscle tissue, first day of june. Happy pride"

Janus held up his glass of wine and let it clink together with his date's before Remus dunked the whole glass back like it was a shot. For dinner Jan had pulled together his collective knowledge of cooking and managed to make pasta with some cold brocolii and the cheapest fish he could find at the local store.

"Obligatory mention that I looove rainbow capitalism and all it stands for, Of courssssseee. I just love society and its devilish systems and how no one can truly be free from it and I just have to buy an overpriced piece of..."

Janus went on for another couple minutes of sarcastically licking boot to which Remus listened but didn't understand most of it "This is really good" He said as a fish bone got stuck between his teeth.

"Well thank you"

They hadn't yet had time to buy chairs for the apartment so the two of them had to cram together on the couch after having dragged the dinner table right next to it. The demon was sitting like a goblin while Janus was tapping his feet so hard the table was in a constant state of slight vibration.

"Y'know" Remus continued with his cheeks filled with pasta "Where I'm from we not really come out. Not real necessary but I and my brother been to pride before because lots of fucking and sucking-"

Janus choked on his wine.

"-So are we sucking or fucking first tomorrow?"

Janus coughed so hard some of the wine went up into his nose. "You know what, I was actually meaning to tell you something after we saw that lovely rendition of Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf but I seemed to have forgotten" He swiftly changed the subject "Me and Virgil didn't just move for a change of scenery. It was actually because I have dropped out of university"

Remus choked on the pasta he'd been slurping and coughed it up onto his plate before not to discreetly chugging the gunk into his mouth again.

"But you're so smart!" He exclaimed with a mouth full of gunk.

"But it made me miserable! Besides we all know Universities and higher learning in general are old structures built on racism and sexism. I mean I heard Cambridge didn't even have a black society until 2005, that's younger than I am!"

"But you're" The demon waved his fork around while searching for words "You're so smart! You're like made for school and learning and shit! If you were made for something you gotta do it!"

"I don't have to do anything. Ever. Except maybe breathe if I care to do so"

"But like...Y'know if a guy don't get scared when seeing dead people he's kinda made for being dead person guy-"

"A mortician?"

"YeS! A mormon! And it's kinda" Remus kept waving his fork around as his forehead became more and more wrinkled "There is this story from my home but uhh I have never told it in english so..." He trailed off.

"It's hard to translate, innit?" The demon nodded to which Janus put his elbows on the table and let his head rest against the palms of his hand "Take your time. We have a whole wine bottle to go through"

Remus played with the pasta left on his plate while thinking of how to formulate it until the pasta had been molded into a tiny little blob "So everyone is molded to be good at shit but this guy Patton-"

Janus let up into a snort "Is he the bad guy?"

"Yeah uh sorta"

He laughed "Of course, what a asshole name"

"Yeah and Patton was good at his shit but got bored or something and" He smoshed the pasta blob with his fork "And went against what he was molded to do Y'know? He ate people and uhhh like was a total traitor to his like home!"

Janus mouth dropped at the sudden inclusion of cannibalism in this otherwise quite normal sounding tale. ".....And then...??"

"Then he never got caught! But he's totally bad! Traitor bitch! And that proves is wrong to uhhhh not do what you are literally made for"

"Darling that doesn't make the slightest bit of sense"

Remus was reminded that he and Janus were truly different species. He would never be able to explain to him that he had literally been created to fullfill certain human's desire to fuck twins and that something must have gone wrong with him in particular.

The demon shrugged "Life is misery anyway. Screaming and bLOOD all over. So if you're made for something you do it even if it is misery. You get?"

Janus leant back in his seat and sipped from his wine glass "Frankly? No. I am simply not built to lift a single finger if I do not proper want to. The bloody queen could be dying in front of me and I would be able to stop it by the click of a button and if I didnt feel arsed to do it, which I dont, I wouldnt do it.....And that's how she died. Cheers!"

They clinked their glasses together and Remus downed his like a shot once again before tapping his fingers against the empty glass.

"....But you have to, if you're made for it" He finally said.

"Dear now you're going into the nature vs nurture debate and whether we have free will or not and those have bloody decades of discussions around it which I would soooo loathe to discuss for the next hour....But we also have dishes to clean. Feel like killing two stones with one bird darling?"

Naturally Remus had never really washed dishes before since if he ate he didn't bother with utensils and such but he tried to mimic his human friend's behavior the best he could while trying not to get distracted by all the wonderful gross leftover food bits. The sink was so small his hip touched against Jan's as the human scrubbed a plate while going on about philosophers. The situation felt like such a human thing to do it nearly felt traitorious to do it.

He wondered if Patton ever washed a dish. He had been wondering more and more often if Patton had done the things he was doing. If Patton ever drank wine together with the human or the angel that he ended up murdering, fucking or eating in the end (whichever version of the story one prefered).

"I wanna do dishes with you again sometime" Remus mumbled to which Janus let out a chuckle.

"Sure dear. Your imagination is really running wild about our future with that one innit"

"I'm letting my imagination go away on thinking of how to kill with this fork!" Remus quickly changed the subject "I could shove it up someones ass or gouge out eyeball or use it with a hammer to crack up skull like fragile egg!"

Janus put the last plate away before turning to Remus and putting a hand against his hip "I've noticed you like to threaten with ass shoving as a form of murder. How exactly do you think that would go about killing a person?"

"Easy. Object pops hole in rectum. Bleeding. Dies of bleeding"

"...I....I didn't actually expect an anatomically plausible response"

Remus shrugged "I love corpses" He was close to falling away into daydreams of his days of going into morgues and staring at cut up bodies before he shook his head and added "I mean I love watching corpses on film. Documentaries. Innit?"

He snorted "Say innit again"

"Innit"

Janus pressed a kiss to Remus' cheek and murmured "It sounds so cute in your accent"

The demon shone up into such a bright smile even his mustache turned upwards at the ends.

The human wiped his hands off before going back to the couch and waving Remus over so naturally he rolled over the couchseat to land next to him.

"I think you will find this very fascinating" Janus said to which Remus' eyes widened as he immediately thought he was about to be shown the human's dick and balls.

Instead Janus pulled the back of his sweater up so the lower part of his spine showed and motioned for Remus to touch him. The demon let his fingers run along the spine and felt the other man shudder slightly as he slid his hand up under his sweater.

The spine was crooked in a way Remus had never felt before. As soon as he realized how different it was he couldn't help but run his hand up and down until he heard Janus let up into a laugh.

Remus moved his arms around Janus' waist and leaned his chin against his date's shoulder "You're right. That was fascinating"

Janus angled his head so he could nuzzle the side of his face against Remus' while smiling "It's not scoliosis but the doctor said it was similar damage as scoliosis caused by the car crash. The doctor said that by every medical notion I should have died or at least gotten an sci. My spine should have broken apart, not crook she said"

"You got mad in car last time we talked about car crash" The demon had the tone of a sad puppy as he mumbled it.

"Well that time you brought it up at a very rude time, this time I bring it up. There is a difference dear" Janus smiled as he added "They said I was a medical miracle"

As soon as Remus got permission to be excited about it he started to literally vibrate as he snuggled closer to Jan "You're my medical mystery!" He let his hands go under the other man's shirt again and gently squeezed his love handles "Honk honk" He kept vibrating "ALSO DO YOU HAVE XRAY?"

"Photos?" Remus nodded so hard it made Jan's head shake along "I do"

"Hot. Can I see sometime??"

"Sure"

Remus squeezed him around the waist and rocked side to side. Janus let his hand play along the other man's choker to keep him close before moving the collar of his own shirt to the side so the demon could press kisses to the nape of his neck.

"If you got scolioshit you should think prehand about positions and pain before fucking" Remus threw out absentmindedly.

"And how do you know that darling" Janus asked, assuming he was just bullshitting.

"You not think I ever fucked a person with bad back? It's all uuughhhh and aaaaaggghhhh if they start having pain mid fuck and then I leave and throw trash food onto random strangers on the street or something fun like that"

The human quietly assumed Remus was attempting his own strange way of flirting and replied "That is genuenly a good input darling. You're right, we should pre-try positions. Communication is key during sex after all or at least I have read that at several places"

Janus moved to stand up before sitting down again. He parsed his lips to speak and then closed them again before moving his hands so they hung in the air but after a few seconds he laid them back in his lap and started to drag on a loose thread in his sweater. His eyes wandered between Remus and the thread. Remus stared back at him for a few moments before his brain kicked into motion and he had the thought to do something but he wasn't quite sure of what.

"I never do before stuff" Remus admitted "Just fuck and then go"

Slowly but surely Janus cracked up into a smile "Oh wow. Dear you somehow keep suprirising me with how totally inexperienced you seem to be in anything and everything that isn't literally sitcking your penis into something"

"Hey now. I am skilled. Sometimes I am person getting penis stuck in. And also I have knowledge in putting tongue on pussey"

"What an array of talents"

Remus let up into one of his high pitched chainsaw like laughs before kissing his date on the nose. He stood up and waited for Janus to stand alongside him and when the human did he scrunched his nose and smiled. Both of their movements were slow and searching, and the demon noticed his date hesitating just a bit before bending over the dinner table to which he let his hand lay against the end of Jan's slightly arched back.

"I don't think this is quite it" Janus said as he turned back around so he sat on the table instead "At least not for my first time"

"Makes sense"

Janus pulled the demon closer by the choker so he stood between his legs and leant his hands against the table by his sides. Their chests where an inch from touching as Remus suggested.

"Riding?"

"Which madman rides dick during his first time having sex"

"On fours? Woof woof?"

"Dear I wear fancy gloves 50% of the time, Do i seem like the type to do doggy"

"69?"

"No"

"That always gives sore afterwards. Lots of stretching. But great name! great marketing!"

"Really rolls off the tongue" Jan agreed.

Remus poked at Jan's chest to make him lay down with his back against the table so he could bury his right between those sweet human man tits while Jan tried to hike his leg around his waist. The demon trailed kisses from his chest, past his neck and to his cheeks.

"Like this?"

"Oh gosh it is definitely not like laying down makes every one of my one thousand chins appear" Jan complained while trying to shift his face so he didn't get a double chin to which the demon blew a rapsberry right against his chin. It made him laugh which naturally rubbed off onto Remus "Laying like this does make my back hurt a little" Jan got out between a bout of laughter.

"Maybe the bed work better?"

"You are truly using every single one of your brain cells tonight huh darling"

"Rubbing them together like car batteries! Yes yes yes!"

Remus held out his hand to help his date up from the table like a gentleman and let his human lead him to the bed by his choker. When the demon immediately hit his head against the upper bunk bed he barely even felt the sting against his forehead because he was so focused hearing his human's cackle like a corny movie villain.

"I think I quite like you Remus" He said as he laid down on his back with a pillow under the lower end of his spine to help avoid any pain.

"I like you too" He sat between his human's thighs and let his hand touch against the curve of his waist as he looked him up and down "But I do not think you're stretchy enough to get leg up on my shoulder which I think what men usually do in this position"

Janus let out the most dramatic gasp he could muster "HUH!? ME!? LIL PRETTY ME!? You're accusing me of being bent out of shape, ugly, broke and not flexible!?!? You're a foul man!"

"Only like 2 of those things"

"RUDE! You're misjudging my gay credentials. I'll show you Mister!" His snarky self couldn't help but add "This is the hottest dirty talk anyone has ever had in the history of mankind"

"Show me then"

A pitiful attempt was made by Janus to lift his leg up so his knee was bent over his date's shoulder but it just made the zipper on his pants drag open. Remus offered to help lift but he was quickly denied as the other man sat up and began to drag his pants off.

"Of course it was today of all days I decided to wear my faboulous pants instead of one of my wonderful skirts" He muttered to himself while Remus sat watching grinning like a fool.

"Is that tiny snakes on your boxers?"

"Noooo. Obviously not. They're weirdly colored wormssss. Of course they are snakes! And they look fantastic on me!"

"They sure do!"

With the pants thrown aside the two men tried again with Remus holding Janus' leg up slightly to help but every time they got close one of them burst up into laughter which made the other start to laugh and they had to start over again.

"Don't blame me if you pull a muscle"

"I'll make you pull a muscle in you-"

"IN MY PENIS!"

"I was going to say pull a muscle in your tongue" Janus said as he pressed his hand against the back of Remus' head to pull him closer "So you can shut up and be a good boy for once" His tone had suck a teasing tone it made Remus giggle a little.

The bare skin of Jan's thigh touched his and the sensation made a chill run up his back at the same time as Jan let the light hand against the back of his head turn into him grabbing a bit of the demon's hair and playfully twirling it around his finger. Remus put his hands on either side of Janus' head to hold himself from falling completely onto him, with him so far being able to feel the other man's sweater rub against his chest.

With him pressed closer Janus managed to hike his leg up over Remus' shoulder which made them both let up into playful cheers before he helped him get his other leg up.

"This is definitely not stretching muscles I didnt know I had and you were not right in any way" jan snarked out. "But it feels good"

"I know me stuff"

He felt his human's hand wander up and down his back as he pressed his face to the nape of Jan's neck and kissed his collar bone. A hot breathe touched against Remus ear as Janus murmured "I'm so hard for you"

The stupidity of the situation wasn't lost on Remus but he genuinely hadn't seen the situation as sexual up until that moment. It had been all fun joking around and touching in ways some might consider sexual but it hadn't bothered him as long as he didn't have to feel that horrible feeling of feeding.

His blood ran cold and a distant ringing sounded inside of his ears. Everything around him turned ever so slightly blurry as his eyes went out of focus and his thoughts started to wander off to distant gore filled daydreams to distract himself.

The lust tasted just like Janus, that was the worst part of it. It wasn't something Remus could ever explain to a non succubus but the lust filling his mouth tasted like cheeky smiles, lemons and little lies and it made it even harder to swallow.

Somewhere far away his shirt was being pulled off and maybe Janus said something to him but he couldn't comprehend any of it. It just kept filling his mouth and oh god this was it, it would happen and then he would have to choke the life out of his human and wait for hell to let him in again and he had to do it because Roman was all alone in hell and fuck now he was thinking of his brother while he was about to have sex and he wasn't sure where his hand was and his skin was too tight around his flesh and he didn't even know when his human's birthday was so he would never know what would be written on his gravestone and Virgil would be the one to find his dead body but that was better than him seeing Roman's dead body and-

And a brief knock came from the entrance before the door opened and Virgil stepped into the apartment with his jacket slung over his shoulder and his headphones on.

The lust stopped dripping down his throat but Remus was only half aware as Janus as scrambled to sit up and pull the bed cover across his lap. The demon stayed sitting still as his eyes got stuck on some spot on the pillow and even though he wanted to look elsewhere it was as if his muscles weren't listening to him.

"---visade sig work didn't need mig. Kollegan kom and took my shift" The words coming from Virgil's mouth turned to nonsense in Remus' ears.

"-Remus was simply helpen mig strech. Bad spine och allt det" Janus responded and Remus started to feel nauseous but he wouldn't let himself throw up since he knew he needed the food.

His shorts were still on and Janus was still wearing his sweater so they couldn't have gotten that far. Maybe he had just overreacted to some silly touching. Silly him.

"You've eaten dinner?"

"Yeah. I'll just go to bed I think" The conversation continued while Virgil kept sneaking hateful glares at the demon.

Eventually Virgil left to get changed for bed and Janus moved to sit beside his date and gently wrap an arm around his waist. Feeling the pressure of another's touch made his dissociation disparse ever so slightly.

"Very homophobic of the universe to stop us from making gorgeous love" Jan muttered with a slight smile "During pride no less! It would have been so perfect if I lost the made up concept of virginity on the first day of Pride, but alas there is nothing wrong with doing that on the second day"

The human turned to his date expecting to see some smile but instead he saw that same dead eyed look he had seen during their car date. When he didn't get any answer Janus continued.

"Darling, Did you..." He searched for the right word "Enjoy everything we did today..?"

The notion that someone was speaking to him finally got through to Remus and he blinked rapidly to try and get back some control over his body before nodding.

"Okay dear, I simply wanted to make sure" Janus waited a bit before asking "Would you like to watch a movie or cuddle or something of that sort or would you rather immediately go to sleep. Don't worry about disturbing the grumpy hisser, we have headphones that connect!"

The demon nodded again and Janus gave a confused look to the unclear answer just as Virgil came out from the bathroom dressed in skeleton themed sweatpants and t-shirt.

Janus leaned in to whisper to his date "Excuse my french but it's totally not like I have to have some.. let's say..alone time now after our uhh time together got cut short so how about you think of what movie to watch while I do that" He stood up but quickly added "As you know I am definitely ssssuch a sucker for gore and horror sssso totally feel free to pick something horrible like that!"

The only reason Remus noticed him leaving was that the pressure from his arm being around suddenly disappeared. He could make out that Virgil had stopped to say something to him and he could quite easily guess that the tone of his voice was like poison dripping of his tongue but he wasn't sure what exact type of threat or insult the emo was trying to throw at him and before he had time to figure it out Viv had already climbed up to the top part of the bunk bed.

By the time Janus got back he had had enough time so he could hear Virgil tapping away on his computer right above him and his eyes were focused enough he could make out the way his human's cheeks were flushed redder than before. He'd also changed into a fancy silk pyjamas and put his hair in a bonnet.

His human cupped his chin and pulled his face close to whisper "I may or may not have just had the best alone time I've ever had because of you" Before pressing a kiss to his cheek.

Remus mustered a "nICE"

Janus studied his expression before deciding to ignore the movie "Do you wish to cuddle until we fall asleep?"

"Yesss please"

"Atta boy, that's what i like to hear"

The two men spooned up under the covers and for a long while Janus whispered facts about old broadway divas to him until it was replaced by his soft snores. At every slight movement Remus made Janus would murmur in his sleep which he found adorable.

With his eyes closed and mouth slightly agape he looked so unassuming but something warm stirred in the pit of the demon's stomach as he silently watched him. His eyes wandered across the scarred side of his face and took in ever little uneven detail. He noticed how his human's bottom lip was a slightly lighter shade of brown than his top lip and the question of whether that made his lips feel differently entered his mind. He wished he could test the question out.

Tomorrow, he told himself, tomorrow he would seduce and kill his human. Tomorrow. They would have the whole day to themself at the Pride event. Tomorrow. And then he would see his brother and friends again. Tomorrow. And then he would never see Janus again.

Despite everything Remus slept better that night than he had for months.

#sanders sides #remus sanders #thomas sanders #tss #dukeceit #demus #virgil sanders #janus sanders #what if you were an asexual succubus wouldnt that be fucked up or what

[writerwithtoomanyships]

Inrulogical one shot

Enjoy :D

The metal claw banged against the glass with the sound of defeat, once again empty.

"Ughh! I did all the right tactics! It GRABBED IT! THEN IT FELL! This is rigged," Logan said with a groan, after one too many failed attempts. The large butterfly plushie was right there. RIGHT THERE.

Remus leaned against the glass, watching his boyfriend analyze the cursed claw machine once again.

"Come on Specs, gimme a few quarters," he said with a grin.

Logan sighed. "There's only a few quarters left."

"Guess I'll have to do my best to grab them in-" Logan shot him a glare. "...with the claw."

Logan handed over the quarters, too frustrated with the claw machine to say much.

"Is there a specific one you want?"

"No."

"Uh-huh."

"Yes."

"Which one?"

Logan shyly motioned towards the butterfly one.

"Oh! The butterfly for my little butterfly," Remus said, shooting Logan a flustered smirk when he saw him blush. He put in some quarters and started playing.

No luck.

No luck.

No luck.

No more quarters.

"Dang it!" Remus said, kicking the machine. "I swear, this one has to be rigged."

Logan gave a small smile. "It's alright, the butterfly really isn't that important. The chances of getting it were infinitesimal anyway."

Nope. Big nope. Remus would not let Logan walk away like that, especially with that type of sad smile on his face.

Remus grabbed Logan's arm as he started to walk away. "If this machine gets to cheat, then so do I."

"Remus, what do you mean-" Logan started, only to stop in shock when Remus started trying to climb into the machine.

"You aren't."

"Oh I am."

"You'll get stuck," Logan said with a sigh, shaking his head with a small smile on his face at his boyfriend's antics. However, when he looked up again, Remus was not beside him.

Remus was inside the claw machine.

"What- that- how?! That shouldn't be possible!" Logan said in shock.

Remus laughed as he rolled around in the small sea of plushies. "When you've done the probably illegal things I've done, you learn how to get into small spaces!"

Logan stared, mouth open in shock.

"Here's your butterfly!" Remus laughed, tossing it down the chute. "Oh cool!!! There's an octopus in here too!"

Although his voice was somewhat difficult to hear through the glass, Logan was still able to understand it. That was his boyfriend. In a claw machine. To get him a stuffed animal.

"Are there any other sea animals?" Logan asked with a mischievous grin.

Now it was Remus's turn to stare at Logan, mouth wide. He quickly recovered though and started moving the animal around the machine. "I'll check!!" he said gleefully.

By the time they were done, they had nearly a dozen stuffed animal stuffed into their coats and in their arms as they walked out to their car.

"I'm still surprised you managed to get out of that machine," Logan said with an eyebrow raised once the adrenaline died down.

"I'm still surprised you approved of it," Remus said with a smirk.

Logan smiled at that, turning Remus into a light shade of pink. "I wouldn't say I approve of it buuuut... the machine had it coming."

As they got in the car, Remus relaxed. "By the way... you may want to get us out of here rather quickly."

Logan paused. "Remus.. what did you do."

Remus opened his coat, unleashing a sea of plushies into the car. "I may have taken lot of them."

To his surprise, Logan burst out laughing. "Is that all of them?" Logan asked between laughs.

For the next few minutes all Logan did was watch Remus open everything, from his bags to his pockets until the car seemed to be filled with the entirety of the plushies from the claw machine.

Logan laughed as he held is butterfly plush, a sound Remus loved.

"We should probably get out of here then," Logan said, still chuckling from the events of the trip.

Remus leaned forward and kissed his nose. "I love you Butterfly."

Logan smiled lovingly at him. "I love you too."

#*sticks my hand in the plotholes* it has pockets #i found this in my wips and it's actually not half bad #intrulogical #fluff #logan sanders #remus sanders #romantic intrulogical #imagine remus propsing to logan with what looks a plushie #remus carries it around all day logan notices but doesn't think much of it but then #they go to a dock or bridge to watch the sunset because im a cliche nerd and i like that #and logan turns around to see remus on his knee with a box that was hidden inside the plushie #and its a ring that has a beautiful butterfly on it #and he proposes #and logan says yes and its awesome and hdgcjdvh im rambling now #aNyWaY #i hope you enjoyed this #comments mean a lot to me if you want to leave one :)

[vash-the-trans-catboy]

May I have a dance?

Written for @loganslowdown4

This is good timing to post this for @loginceweek2022 for day three Imagination

Prompt: logince fluff where they find themselves alone and one asks the other to dance spur of the moment

Summary: There is chaos in mind palace and everyone is ignoring Roman and Logan. Roman takes Logan into the Imagination to have a nice day away from the others.

Taglist: @heirm @moons-the-nightmare @lost-in-thought-20 @sanderdarksides (let me know if you want to be added)

Word count: 847

Ao3

This week has been stressful for everyone in the mind palace. Janus and Patton have been at each other’s throats, Remus has been wreaking havoc on anyone who looks at him, Virgil has been having nothing but panic attacks, and everyone pretends Logan and Roman do not exist.

“GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM.” A distant scream is heard from Janus’ room, a slamming of his door follows.

Logan presses his head deeper into the book he’s trying to concentrate on and sighs.

“Long week, huh?” A sweet yet tired voice speaks behind him.

“That’s a bit of an understatement but yes it has been quite long.” Logan looks up at Roman with his beautiful sad eyes. Roman can’t stand when his love is sad.

“Has any of the others tried talking to you recently?”

“You have been the only one for the past 5 days that has said more than ‘get out of my way Logan’” Roman’s heart shatters into a million pieces.

“I’m sorry Lolo. It isn’t been much better than me. Virgil told me to go away yesterday but except for that just silence and death glares.” Roman takes Logan’s hand in his own and gently pulls off the couch, “What if we got out of here for a little bit?”

Logan’s gaze turns to more confused instead of sad, “We are metaphysical sides. It is physically impossible for us to leave Thomas’ head or travel somewhere where Thomas or the other sides are not.”

Roman lightly laughs, “You are overthinking this Logan. We can spend the day in my realm of the Imagination.”

“Oh. I must have forgotten that was an option.” Logan said hoping it wouldn’t upset Roman.

“Come on, Lo! We can have a perfect and peaceful day in the Imagination.” Roman bounces in excitement for his idea and drags Logan behind him to his room.

On his dresser, Roman types in a code to open the box with the key to the Imagination. Logan glances at the code. Did he see that right? The numbers formed his birthday. A light and fluttery feeling of joy washes over Logan. “You’re perfect day awaits ahead, my love.” Roman holds the door open for Logan, like a prince would, after Logan steps into his realm Roman locks the door behind them.

Snap. A bubble of magic surrounds all of Roman’s realm then disappears into a cloud of red smoke.

“What was that?” Logan watches in awe as the red smoke dissipates.

“Just in case, to protect us. Nothing can get it or out of my realm until I take down the force field. I don’t need a rat ruining our time here.” Roman guides Logan into the part of the Imagination he designed just for today.

The weather is perfect and the artificial sun shines down on them. The temperature is a perfect 60 degrees with not a cloud in the sky. Surrounding them is miles and miles of red and blue geraniums, Logan’s favorite flower. In the center of the beds of flowers sits a beautiful white gazebo covered in rose vines.

“This is lovely, Roman.” Logan’s eyes sparkle, the sadness is nowhere to be seen anymore.

“This is just the beginning. I promised you a wonderful day and I am here to deliver on that.” Snap. Magic flutters around the two of them, “We need formal outfits for today.”

Roman’s outfit changes into a knee-length red dress with a corset back and a wavy skirt. His shoes change to four-inch white heels. Logan’s outfit changes into a gorgeous navy tux with a bow tie covered in mini-book designs and dress shoes.

“You look so handsome.” Roman pushes a stray hair behind Logan’s glasses. Logan tries to contain his blush.

“You are very pretty. The dress and heels suit you well.” Logan looks like he is floating in the clouds, “Was four inches really necessary?”

Roman chuckles, “You know I’ll take every opportunity I can get to be taller than you.” He leads them to the center of the gazebo and reaches out his hand to Logan, “May I have a dance?”

“Of course, you may.” Roman snaps his fingers and a vintage record player appears in the corner of the gazebo. Elvira Madigan by Mozart plays softly in the background as they begin to dance.

“Follow my lead.” Roman leads Logan step by step in the waltz. “You are a lovely dancer, darling.”

“Well, it takes a great partner to be this good.” Roman lets go of one of Logan’s hands and gently spins him.

Roman hums along with the music, “Has this day cheered you up?”

“It has. Thank you, Roman.” Logan gives a grateful smile to his boyfriend as Roman dips him over his arm. Roman leans in and stops right before Logan’s lips.

“May I?” He whispers to Logan

“You may.” Roman closes the gap and passionately kisses for a moment before pulling away, “This day has been perfect.”

They slow dance for the rest of the evening until the sun starts to set in the Imagination.

#ts logince #logince #sanders sides #logan sanders #roman sanders #ts roman #ts logan #thegayemo #ts fanfic #thegayemo writing #loginceweek2022

[edupunkn00b]

Revisions, Ch. 8: Mind Control

Prev - Mutual Pining - Next - Masterpost - [ AO3 ]

Tags: Human AU, Pining, Mutual Pining, Characters Writing Fanfiction, Slow Burn, Hanakahi Disease, Timeskip, Crossover, Fake Dating, Secret Royalty, They Were Roommates, Mind Control, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Tags May Change - WC: 1352

“Good night, Lo.” Janus’ eyes were a unfocused as he laid his head against Remus’ shoulder. He looked so comfortable with Remus’ arm wrapped protectively around his waist, steadying him against his little tipsy wobble. “See you in the morning?”

Logan’s heart split in two. He didn’t want them to go. He didn’t want this magical night to be over. He wanted to go back down to Remus’ truck with the men he loved and stay there, tucked safely between them forever.

“Absolutely,” Logan said. He didn't want to turn around and try to sleep alone in his room. He wanted to snuggle next to them, and feel their arms wrapped around them. He wanted to listen to them breathe as they slept and he wanted to wake up in the morning and have their faces be the first thing he saw when he opened his eyes.

He wanted the impossible.

“Good night,” Logan murmured and quietly shut his door, then turned and leaned hard against it, fighting his ludicrous impulse to rip it open and throw himself into their arms. To hell with the consequences, to hell with the rejection. Even if they pushed him away, he would have been wrapped in their arms for just that one tiny moment.

A moment of bliss had to be worth more than an entire night alone in his room.

But instead he waited, heels braced against the floor, until he heard their bedroom door open and close, then he counted to one hundred. Logan walked to his closet, and carefully hung up his tie, suit jacket, and pants, then climbed into bed. He laid like that for a moment before sighing and rolling his eyes. He got back up to brush his teeth and wash his face, then pulled on a hoodie and joggers and crawled back under the covers. He pulled the comforter up high around his head, leaving just a tiny space for air. Squeezing his eyes shut, he curled around a pillow, hugging it close to his chest as he counted Fibonacci numbers, waiting until he finally drifted off to sleep.

~~~~~

Logan woke up two hours later, coughing, head throbbing. He staggered to his desk, searching for something, anything to drink. He found a half-empty cup of cold tea from earlier that afternoon and gulped it down.

It didn’t help.

The tissue box on his desk was empty, so Logan stumbled, still coughing, into the en suite. He turned on the shower to cover the noise, then opened the cabinet under the sink to hunt for more tissues. He found a box, then doubled over coughing, finally sinking down to his knees as he pried off the top, pulling out tissues to catch the petals he expelled.

After a long while, Logan’s coughing gradually eased and he laid down on the cold bathroom tiles to catch his breath. He stared at a smattering of green and yellow petals that had escaped his tissues. The petals were significantly larger now and edged in blood. He hugged his knees against his chest, his head resting on the bathmat.

At some point, he must have dozed off because he woke with a start, the shower still running. Logan pulled himself to his feet and turned off the water, long since grown icy cold, then swept up the tissues and petals with the tiny dustpan he kept under the sink.

The glowing numbers on his alarm clock flashed over to 4:00. Logan’s chest and stomach ached, his throat scraped raw. He gathered the collection of empty cups that had accumulated on his desk and crept downstairs to make more of his numbing tea. He still had two more days before he could take another dose of the Doctor’s serum.

Logan would have to find a way to manage without it until then.

~~~~~

He drank the first cup of tea downstairs in the kitchen, hesitant to try the stairs without the numbing effects of the tea leaves. He prepared a second cup, then returned to his room. It was now 4:18 and the sun would be up in a few hours. Logan settled in at his desk to write.

Two hours later, he’d finally finished proof-reading his latest chapter and published it. He then moved on to the next in the story.

“Doctor, I need you to remove my emotion chip.” Data’s voice was calm, controlled, and perfectly enunciated. And it was completely contradicted by the artificial tears pouring down his face as he sat down across from Beverly Crusher in her Sick Bay office. “Data?” Dr. Crusher’s voice rose at the end, her personal concern barely masked by her professional tone. She leapt to her feet, pulling a medical scanner from her lab coat and running the wand over Data’s head and body. “I don’t understand. Is your emotion chip malfunctioning? Your affect is—” “I have activated an emergency override on my emotion chip. It should have prevented any expressions of emotional activity.” Data blinked erratically at Dr. Crusher, tears still dripping from his eyes. The rest of his facial expressions and body movements appeared perfectly relaxed, content even. Dr. Crusher sat on the edge of her desk, facing him. She put away the scanner. “Data, why would you do that?” she asked quietly. Stiffening his already perfectly straight spine, Data tilted his head fractionally. “I was experiencing severe emotional distress over unavoidable circumstances. It was impacting my ability to process information, make rational decisions, and interact with… certain crew members.” He looked up at Dr. Crusher. “How else was I to address my malfunction?”

Logan sat at his desk, one elbow propped next to his laptop, his fingers tugging at his hair. Indeed, Data. Indeed.

Perhaps that actually was the answer. If Hanahaki’s is caused by an emotion, the real solution… is to not have them. Just for a little while. Just long enough to let the disease resolve itself, or at least until he could take another dose of the serum. If he could reduce the emotions driving his Hanahaki’s, then perhaps he could even stretch out the medication beyond the eight day interval he’d currently set himself on.

He sat back in his chair, twirling his pen between his fingers. His eyes fell on the photograph he’d pinned to his bulletin board last year. Logan had taken the picture at Remus’ birthday party. All of the housemates had gathered together to sing around the ‘secondary’ birthday cake—the elaborate chocolate mocha swirl confection Patton had decorated to near Cake Boss-standards. After Remus had blown out the candles, Janus and Logan had presented him with a tiny experimental cake made especially for him.

Remus had read somewhere online that there were bakers trying recipes incorporating inorganic ingredients like clay. Remus had insisted that review were positive and he wanted to try it, but Patton had steadfastedly refused to have clay anywhere near his fancy bakeware.

"No, Kiddos, no… I'm sorry, but you can't bake a literal mud pie in my Le Creuset!" Patton had crossed his arms, his dimpled cheek belying his stern frown. "They were my grandmother's!"

So instead, Janus and Logan had found a small set of mixing bowls and cakepans at a thrift store and, after many Wikipedia and TikTok rabbit holes, finally found a recipe that looked, if not appetizing, at least non-toxic. They’d prepared the cake, carefully decorated it, and set it down at Remus’ place setting.

He’d eaten the entire 3” double layer cake, insisting it had been delectable. Months later, Roman had accidentally let slip to Logan that Remus had actually been up sick all night in his room for their “overnight twins” celebration, but had been so touched by Janus and Logan’s efforts that he hadn’t wanted them to know.

Logan looked down in confusion as his hands suddenly grew cold. He saw his hands were wet and had become chilled by the moisture evaporating on his skin.

It took Logan several moments to realize he was crying.

Perhaps controlling his thoughts and emotions was going to be more difficult than he’d anticipated.

taglist: @mavenmush @melaniidarling @braingoburr @lunatatic @demon9980 @crossiantgay @psychedelicships @justmeandmygayships @ts-creator-boost @bluerosesbleedred @tsfanficarchive @tsshipmonth2020

#Revisions #tsshipmonthNYOT #tsshipmonth2022 #ts remus #ts janus #Remus Prince #Janus Lyubov #ts logan #Logan Sanders #(mentioned) #dukeceit #demus #slow burn #pining intrulogical #pining loceit #ts human au #Hanahaki Disease #ts fanfic #ts fanfiction #intrulogical #loceit #someday? #seriously‚ edu‚ how slow are we talking about here? #angst #mutual pining #Mind Control #NYOT Day 8: Mind Control

[lumosinlove]

Sweater Weather

part xvii

A/N:

Hey team!

I just want to pop in before the chapter to say a HUGE thank you to those who sent me letters!

Thanks to Hannah for your letter and O’Knutzy necklace! It’s AMAZING.

I want to thank Giana for your gorgeous letter (I’ll answer your questions in a separate post and I’m so glad you’re writing again!)

Thank you Kennedy for the painting, earrings, shark sticker (yay marine biologist!) and letter with the dried flowers :)

Thank you Alba for your SW art and your letter—yay to being there from the beginning!!

Thanks to Sophie for your kind words and letter!

Thank you Stephanie for your letter (and beautiful handwriting wow) and of course your gifts! I love the bookmarks and pin!

And last but certainly not least thank you to Alaena! I love that you included what asks you sent in XD and the STICKERS. I can’t decide if I want to put them on things or hang them all up on my bulletin board :) They’re incredible.

Thank you everyone, you’re all so thoughtful and kind!!

With SW ending soon (at least this fic, but this universe will never be over for me!) it is so incredibly lovely to hear what it means to you all. I feel so luck every single day that you guys love this team as much as I do. You thank me for this story, but I think the best part of fiction is that it expands and evolves differently in each mind it touches. Tumblr is such a freakin gift because I get a little glimpse into how you all think about these characters. So, I’m saying thank you to YOU. It’s truly a privilege to hear from you all. <3

If you feel like sending me anything, there is a link to my P.O. Box in my tumblr description! <3

Okay my mushy rant is done. Here’s chapter seventeen :)

~

Remus forgot his own birthday.

Lily had to remind him, bringing out a cake while he and Sirius had spent the day playing with baby Harry. Harry Potter. Harry James Potter.

The team adored him. Remus would never forget the sight of an entire team of hockey players, fresh off a plane, and crammed into a hospital room to peer at the small head of dark hair in Lily’s arms.

Minus one. Minus two, if what Sirius said was true, and Remus was part of the team. Remus had looked at the picture that Pascal had sent him from beside a sleeping Sirius and a heart monitor.

He had looked at the picture, and then at Sirius, and the relief doubled.

Four broken ribs. Bad, but it could have been worse. So much worse. A few days in Vegas to be monitored, just in case. Then, home.

Home for Remus’ birthday, home and in pain, but smiling none-the-less. Harry was a welcomed distraction from it all—the press, the hurt, the uncertainty. Lily seemed to know this without it needing to be said. Remus had told her she had enough going on without worrying about a cake, but Lily had just waved him off and cut them all large slices of the chocolate fluff.

Sirius, meanwhile, had somehow slipped a simple golden necklace around Harry’s neck, and when Remus looked down next, there it had been. A shining gold star pendant. The message had been clear. Sirius’ name-sake and Sirius himself—something to make a wish on.

Remus took a weeks off of work, all that he could.

Road-trips were a blur. Practices were anxious. The team was anxious.

March 27th.

Eight weeks. Sirius had been out for eight weeks. Resting, and stuck in his big house. Remus never thought he would be so thankful for Regulus.

“I’d rather be here than Slytherin any day, even though he whines like a baby when you’re gone.”

“Non,” Sirius would protest.

Regulus would raise an eyebrow. “Yeah.”

Remus would sneak into Sirius’ bedroom whenever he got home late, press one, two, three, four gentle kisses across his chest, and take his place on the other side of the pillow, carefully placed so that Sirius didn’t roll over during the night.

Sirius whined a good deal about that, too. And getting back on the ice.

“I just…I want to be back in case we make it to…” the playoffs.

The team was close. So close.

Sirius had only recently been allowed to come to the rink, suit and all, for home games to sit in the team box. It was strange, looking up from the bench at the jumbotron and seeing the image of Sirius there, standing with his arms crossed, sometimes with a beanie on, making his eyes look intense as he focused on the game in front of him. He was completely unreadable—to everyone but Remus. Remus could tell when he was happy with the team’s playing, when he was annoyed at their opponents. The internet was crawling with gifs of Sirius’ stormy eyes. Remus had more than a few saved, and they frequented the team group chat.

Remus looked up now, but all the jumbotron was showing was James, who had been taking lead in Sirius’ absence, talking quickly to Finn. Remus could see his own legs in the background.

The Stars were up 4-1, and there was ten minutes left in the second period. If they won this game, and they won the next game, they were in. And Sirius would be back the week after that—hopefully in time for the first playoff game, and not for an all-too-long summer vacation. Although, honestly, right then, Remus thought Sirius deserved either one. A chance at the Cup, or a break, a chance to rest up. To be together.

Leo was in net, Kasey resting up his thigh that continuously bothered him. Leo was skating a slow circle after the Stars scored yet another goal, tracing the blue crease with his stick. Remus could practically feel his furious calm.

“Big Rig may experience different weather up there, but he sure as hell has more gravity. Tremzy,” James knocked his helmet with his glove. “Don’t let him catch you, eh?”

“We gotta come back from this shit,” Finn said as he followed Logan over the boards. “For Leo. Leaving him out to dry out there. No.”

“For Cap,” Thomas said, coming back over the boards and breathing hard.

“Gotta put my baby in that silver crib!” James followed his wingers, a center for now.

“Cookie, Bluey, Ringer, be ready,” Coach called. “You’re on deck.”

“The oven is hot tonight,” Elias Cook said, pouring water over his neck.

“Stop saying that,” Kasey shook his head. “Jesus.”

“He can’t help the heat, Baby Bliz,” Thomas said.

Kasey just shook his head and looked back to the game.

Remus leaned in over Thomas’ shoulder. “That was a hit, Talkie, you good?”

“I’m hot,” Thomas said around his mouthguard.

Remus snorted, patting his shoulder pad. “You sure are.”

James lined up for the face off, Finn and Logan jostling against Benn and Perry. Logan dug his skates in when the ref dropped the puck and James whipped it back to him. Logan darted forward into the Stars’ zone, tailed closely.

“C’mon, Tremz,” Remus murmured.

Logan shot the puck off to Finn who got battered against the boards almost immediately by Benn, but got it smoothly to Olli, who sent it sailing back towards the Stars’ net. James was there behind the crease, Khudobin pushed out the wrong way—

James curled it in from behind and the Gryffindor goal horn blared.

“Fuck!” Thomas rose to his feet, knocking his stick against the boards. “Atta boy, baby-daddy!”

4-2 until the buzzer sounded and they were heading back down the tunnel. Remus glanced up at the screen one more time, and only just caught Sirius, smile plastered on as he was shown shaking the hands of a few older men. Remus suppressed a smile, and followed the team off of the ice for second intermission.

The locker room was subdued, and Sirius came in while Remus was crouched by Logan, taping up a jammed finger. He walked up to Coach first, leaning his elbows on the podium where he controlled the projector. Remus watched as he pointed to a few of the plays drawn up on the whiteboard, Coach nodding along.

“I can do this,” Logan said. “Leave with your moon eyes.”

Remus rolled his eyes, but tore off the tape and rose. “You’re all set. Try and keep it safe during third.”

“Oui,” Logan said, already sliding his headphones back on. Finn rose to get a fresh jersey, brushing a palm over the back of Logan’s neck on his way. Logan’s eyes followed him as he went to Leo next, who was sitting with his elbows on his knees in his stall, head down and airpods in. Finn squeezed himself in beside him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. He leaned in to press a few kisses to his neck, murmuring soft words. Leo closed his eyes and pressed into him.

“Hey.”

Remus turned away from the two to meet Sirius’ eyes. He was smiling, a good break from the grimace Remus had become used to.

“Hi,” Remus said and pressed a hand over the familiar bandage, thick beneath Sirius’ suit and shirt. “Feeling okay?”

“I’m good,” Sirius leaned down, right in the locker room, and kissed him. His mouth was gentle, leisurely. “I feel good.”

Remus smiled into it, and took his hand. “Good. Come on.”

Sirius followed him, hand in Remus’, into the training office.

“Ten minutes until show time,” Remus said in the dim space and wrapped his arms around Sirius’ neck. “Are you really feeling okay? Been on your feet for a while, I’ve been watching.”

“Loops, I come back soon. I’m healed, I’ve started light exercise. It’s just a matter of insurance.” Sirius leaned into him, lips brushing his. “You seemed to think I was fine last night.”

Remus grinned. “Yeah, I definitely think you were fine last night.”

Sirius smiled, but then his expression turned more grave. He bit his lip, and ran his hands up and down Remus’ sides a few times, almost as if to comfort himself. “Fuck, I want this for the team so bad.”

Remus nodded. This was a conversation they had been having more often than not. “I know. And they know. You want it for them, but baby, they want it for you. They’re out there doing their fucking hardest for you. I don’t think you should start preparing for the worst. Not yet. Hockey’s a fast game.”

“We’re just—we’re so close. And fucking Grayback and…and if we win this game, we just have to beat Vegas again and we’re in. And I won’t get to fucking be out there because of fucking Grayback. And he’s not even suspended anymore—”

Remus kissed him, and Sirius mumbled for a moment into it before relaxing.

“Two games,” Remus said. “Home. Then Vegas. We beat Grayback, take a chance at the cup away from him. That’s the best we can do.”

Sirius looked at him for a long moment. “How are you so okay with all of this?”

“What’s the alternative? Obsessing over him? He’s not worth it. At all.”

They looked up at the sound of the team noisily making their way back down the tunnel, shouts and whistles, trying to psych themselves up for a come back.

“Third,” Remus said, then tucked his fingers into Sirius’ hair and kissed him again. “You’re competitive. I love you for it. But, baby, you’ve already beaten him. You beat him a long time ago.”

Remus kissed Sirius’ slowly smiling mouth again and again before rushing out the door.

Sirius made his way back up to the box. He watched the other members’ eyes follow him as he slipped back into the private room. There was an absurd array of food and drinks on a table, designed to impress members and investors. Sushi rolls and miniature hot dogs, popcorn in Lions colored cardboard boxes. Red-frosted cupcakes and lion head cake-pops. Sirius took a cupcake. He’d already beaten Grayback. Remus had just kissed him. His ribs had healed well. It all called for a cupcake.

“Really letting yourself off, eh?”

Sirius looked up at a man. He was wearing a white collared shirt under one of Sirius’ jerseys. Obviously a fan, obviously nervous, obviously important given the way one of the managers was looking at him talking to Sirius.

“No,” Sirius said plainly. “I’m having a cupcake.”

There were laughs from around him, as if Sirius was the funniest guy in the room. Sirius didn’t feel funny. This guy was making him miss puck drop.

The man held out his hand. “I’m Mike. Real doozy you slapped the world with.”

Sirius took it tightly, cupcake in his other hand. “I wasn’t aware that I did the slapping.”

“Probably broke a lot of hearts though.”

Sirius looked at Mike the way he looked at opponents on the ice. He watched him blink, watched his body language change.

“I was thinking about my own heart. Désloé, how do we know each other again?”

“Oh. Well—”

“Right,” Sirius nodded. “Enjoy the game.”

Sirius walked towards the box’s edge, unwrapping his cupcake. He could see the entire stadium from up here, the teaming mass of red and gold, the team readying themselves on the ice. A tiny glimpse of Remus on the bench. Coach was gesturing and talking. He watched his own face on the jumbotron as he took a bite of the dessert. He found the camera and flashed it a thumbs up, waving his arms upwards and listening to the crowd’s cheers roar in time with his hands. He caught glimpses of rainbow flags in the crowd, signs with number twelve decked out in the colors. It was a nice contrast to the signs that Sirius saw on his way into the stadium. Defaced number twelve jerseys, slurs, people jeering at his window as he drove through security. Interesting, to see who was inside, and who was not.

The puck dropped and James won it. James who, despite them being down, was hot tonight. No doubt riding the adrenaline of Harry and Lily at home, of being named temporary captain, of being so close to what they all dreamed of.

Sirius couldn’t think it, not even in his head.

The puck seemed to be frozen in the central zone, both teams battling too hard. A stalemate in aggressive trench warfare. Back and forth, back and forth with no progress. Sirius crumpled the cupcake wrapping between his fists and cupped them together, shoulders tense.

“Allez…” he whispered to himself.

The camera was on him again, and he looked stony even to himself. He raised his eyes to it and pointed a finger down at the game. Show that, he mouthed.

The Lions goal horn blared. Logan had scored.

Sirius knew the camera caught his reaction on camera. He put his fists up, relief bubbling out of him in a shout.

“Allez, Tremzy!”

The crowd was going wild. Finn slammed Logan into the boards in celebration and the jumbotron replayed the beautiful tip-in. 4-3. Things weren’t so impossible anymore.

Sirius squeezed the wrapper in-between his hands again and set his elbows on the ledge.

“Play Kuny, play Kuny…” Sirius muttered under his breath. He would match Oleksiak. Sure enough, Coach sent Kuny’s line over the boards a second later. Nado and Evan Kane followed him, Fox and Sunqvist on defense.

“No power plays,” Sirius prayed. “Come on, Nado, no stupid penalties.”

“Do you always talk to yourself in French while playing?”

Sirius stiffened. Mike was back.

“Non, parfois je parle en russe.”

Mike blinked. “What?”

“Laisse-moi tranquille, homme intrusif,” Sirius grinned sharply. “I said only sometimes. Usually on the bench.”

That seemed to make Mike happy. “Hey, you’re really superstitious, right?”

“Yes.”

“Like what?”

Like being alone in the team box, Sirius thought bitterly. Like getting a blowjob from my boyfriend before a game, you know, that doozy I slapped the world with?

“There’s a lot of them,” Sirius said. “If you’ll excuse me, I really have to watch this.”

Mike nodded quickly. “Oh, of course, of course.”

Sirius shifted away a little when he didn’t move, tried to focus on the ice. The puck had dropped and it was on Evgeni’s stick. He was carrying it quickly up the ice, seeming to cut through the players with his broad shoulders. Sirius imagined he could hear his deep voice, calling for Nado to look alive. The pass connected, but Seguin tapped it out of Nado’s hands from behind and sent it up the ice quickly to Benn.

“Merde,” Sirius said. The Lions were changing and then it was Pascal’s line with Elias and Brady, Olli and Timmy on defense. Benn managed to get around Olli, and then—

Leo was pushing far out of the crease and aggressively jabbed the puck right from Benn’s stick and onto Pascal’s waiting one. Leo slid back into the crease like a water snake. The stadium was chaos.

Knutty, Knutty, Knutty, was the chant. It filled the air itself. The jumbotron showed the bench briefly, Logan and Finn and Thomas grinning up at the stands. Pascal still had the puck.

His solid form darted up a clear channel, catching the Stars in a slow shift change. He was in front of the goal, Sirius squeezed the wrapper between his palms. Pascal faked by lifting his left leg, Khudobin went for it, and Pascal slid it right between his pads, neat and tidy.

They tied the game. They tied up the game. Sirius pushed back from the railing with a long breath as a TV break began. The Lions ice crew came out to some pop song and began their sweep. Sirius looked down at his bench and yearned to be with them. He rubbed his hand absentmindedly over his ribs. They were healed. He had a few more sessions with Remus left and then he would be back. He would be back.

He thought of the hit.

He hadn’t known what was wrong. There had been no air in his lungs. But Remus had been his first thought. He knew who hit him, he had seen his face before he hit the ice.

Remus.

This would hurt Remus.

“Wait, has a what?”

His own voice over the jumbotron drew him out of his thoughts. It was a pre-recorded interview, one of the fluff ones that they played for fun to entertain the crowd.

Marlene’s voice from off screen repeated the question. “Which one of your teammates has a life-sized Stormtrooper, R2-D2 and C-3PO action figure in their apartment?”

They showed his own face again, laughing and thinking. “Oh. Um.”

It switched to James, arms crossed and actually thinking about it. He pushed his glasses up his nose and laughed. “I don’t know, Finn and Leo? That seems like a weird Harzy thing.”

It cut to Finn. “That’s not weird. I wish it was me. I’ll convince Nut, don’t you worry.”

Pascal looked unimpressed, sitting easily in the chair. “There is only one person this could be, and that person spent the first two months of his time in the U.S. with only the phrases, You’re my only hope, and I’m your father, to his vocabulary. Oh, and the word no.”

Sunny was laughing. “I know exactly who this is.”

Nado looked pained. “Do you have any idea how many times I’ve seen Star Wars now? Do you have any idea?”

Finally, the screen cut to Evgeni, smiling, tongue jokingly between his teeth. “Good for English, you know?” He held up his hands. “I am Force.”

The video ended with a swoop of the Lions’ logo, and even Sirius could help but smile. There was eight minutes left in the period.

Eight minutes to pull ahead.

They would do it.

The Stars had called a time out, and so James, Logan, and Finn were milling around the ice together, keeping their muscles warm. Leo was looping around the goal.

They were ready.

Seguin faced off against James, both of them leaning forward.

Seguin won it.

There was a fleury when James was pinned to the boards by Oleksiak, but Logan was there to steal the puck from beneath his feet.

The clock had dwindled down to four minutes when a whistle blew with a slashing penalty on the Stars. Pascal and Thomas joined James on the ice for the power play unit.

Sirius could feel the energetic restlessness of the crowd. They all knew what this could mean. Sirius let out a shaky breath and looked at the wrapper in his hands. He thought of Remus. Remus, and his long list of superstitions. But what pulled him through had been himself. Sirius held it anyway, but he held his Lions closer.

They were ready.

They set themselves up in a triangle, a tic-tac-toe, in front of the Stars’ goal. The sent it to each other quickly, boxing the defensemen in. Finally, James got it to Evgeni, who slapped it with a one timer and—

The goal horn. 00:24 seconds remaining.

The crowd was already singing with victory. The Stars tried for one last push, but Leo snatched the puck right out of the air with his glove.

00:03.

Done.

Sirius pushed his hands through his hair in relief. “Merde.”

Sirius was out of the box before anyone could even think about congratulating him, jogging down the private staircase and towards the locker room. He made it to the player’s hallway before he was stopped by a smiling Alice.

“I know, I know,” she said. “Can we just get a few questions in?” She gestured over to where Marlene was standing with a microphone, talking to a dark haired girl holding a camera. Alice raised an eyebrow. “It’s only Marlene.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “Sure.”

Alice patted his arm. “Congrats, by the way.”

“Thanks,” Sirius said and shoved his hands into his pockets while looking at Marlene expectantly.

“Okay, McKinnon, let’s go.”

Marlene scoffed. “Nice to see you, too. Hi Cap, how are you? Ribs, mind, in general.”

Sirius relaxed a little. If he had to do interviews, he preferred Marlene above all else. “I’m healing well. Ready to get back on the ice.”

Marlene narrowed her eyes at his short response and he smiled. That made her smile. Those were rare for the press, and she had just caught one.

“Any thoughts you want to share about how the majority of the world is responding to you lately? By my calculations, you’re quite the icon and inspiration—not that you weren’t before of course.”

Sirius laughed a little. “Oh yeah? Um,” he cleared his throat. When he looked up he could see Remus down the hall a little ways. He was talking to Kasey who was still fully dressed. Remus looked beautiful and strong and…And Sirius just… He hated questions like this but he just—

“Someone is always going to find something wrong with you,” Sirius said. “With what you say. With what you do. My job is not to please, you know? My job is to play hockey, sure, but, really, my job is to be the person I want to be, do the things I believe are right, do the things I love. With the people I choose to love. I think that’s everyone’s job,” Sirius found Remus beyond the cameras again, along with everything he had ever wanted. He looked back to Marlene. “That took me a long time to learn. They say, have a thick skin and an open heart. Before, all I had was a thick skin. Now, I’ve found someone who can help me have both. I didn’t even realize how much I needed that.”

~

“And that was an interview with a surprisingly heartfelt Captain Sirius Black,” Lee Jordan broke off in a laugh. “Earlier this game we also got to see him telling the cameras, show the game, show the game. Pointing down at the ice. Outstanding. That’s a layer of the Captain that I don’t think we see very often. From what I hear, the dude’s funny, though, Dean. Now, let’s take a look at the Lions’ top scorers. With the Captain out, that would be Logan Tremblay, James Potter, and, that’s right, one of the oldest in the league, Pascal Dumais…”

“What is that?” Remus said, appearing in front of Sirius where he was waiting in the PT room and drawing his attention away from the television. Remus peered at his hands.

“Oh,” Sirius felt himself flush as he looked down at the cupcake wrapper, more like a tiny ball of oily paper now. “I was holding this when Logan scored, so…”

Remus laughed. “So, you had to hold it the entire period. And now it’s practically falling apart. You’re not keeping that.”

“But it—” Remus grinned as Sirius surrendered the wrapper. “Fine.”

“Hey,” Remus said, and Sirius looked up. Remus was flushed from the game, eyes bright with the win. He leaned up and kissed him hotly, then softly. Sirius had to blink a few times when he pulled away. 

“You always had an open heart,” Remus said. “That’s obvious to anyone who knows you. Who loves you.”

Sirius smiled. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Someone cleared their throat. “Sorry…”

They looked up to see Kasey, now in just some basketball shorts. “Hi.”

“Hey, Bliz, I’m ready for you,” Remus said, then looked up at Sirius. “I can get the subway back if you wanna go home to Regulus.”

“Non, non, I’ll wait,” Sirius said, and bumped fists with Kasey on his way out.

Remus smiled after him for a moment, then at Kasey. “So, thigh?”

Kasey nodded, eyes shifting downward, then back to Remus again. “Yeah.”

Remus paused, brows drawing together. “Kasey, are you—”

“Hey, Kase?” Natalie appeared in the doorway. She had her long blonde hair drawn back in two dutch braids and a Blizzard jersey on over a gray sweatshirt with the hood spilling out. Her smile wasn’t as bright as usual.

“Hi, Remus,” she said. “Baby, I’m gonna go say hi to Marlene. Just text me when you’re all set okay?”

“Hi, Nat,” Remus said slowly.

Kasey nodded, accepting a kiss on the cheek. “Okay.”

He hopped up on the table and lay on his back while Remus got ready.

“Just the thigh that’s bothering you?” Remus said carefully. He pushed Kasey’s shorts up his thigh to get at the tense muscle and carefully began kneading the muscles. The post-game played softly on the television while Remus waited for Kasey to speak.

“Will it always be like this, Loops?” Kasey asked quietly after a few moments.

Remus looked up at where Kasey was reclining on the padded table with his fingers across his chest. Remus, if he was being honest with himself, had been waiting to have this conversation with Kasey for a while.

Kasey looked back at him. “It acts up more often than not. I can’t play if I can go down, I…I can’t—”

“I know,” Remus said softly. “I know, Kase. Look.” Remus moved down to his knee, smoothing the muscle firmly. “This injury…it’s a tough one. It takes a long time to heal. It takes time and endurance. So, my answer is no. It won’t always be like this. It just takes time.”

“What if I don’t have time?” Kasey’s voice was even quieter. “I’m a goalie. Sometimes we have less—”

“Kase,” Remus looked at him. “You’re twenty six years old. You do.”

Kasey groaned as Remus pressed his knee out to the side, loosening the muscle slowly. “Fuck.”

“We’ll do some strength training next practice, okay? We’ll make a schedule, I’ll work with you. And we have a day off tomorrow. I’ll send you some videos to do at home if you want, or you can rest.” Remus smiled a little. “Or Natalie can help you stretch.”

Kasey smiled and it seemed easier. “When you say stretch…”

Remus laughed. “That’s the point. Look, you will heal, but you also have to enjoy the rest of your life. Hockey’s everything, and not everything at the same time. I’m gonna give you some salve, okay? And then you’ll be good for the night. Rest.”

Kasey nodded. “How’s Cap doing?”

“He’s okay,” Remus said, warming up the muscle salve between his palms. “Wants to be out there with you guys.”

“We want him there,” Kasey sat up on his elbows and watched Remus’s hands. “What about baby Black?”

Remus snorted. “Good. I mean, happy he’s here. The whole Snake runaway thing is sort of up in the air. The Snakes have their lawyers on his ass about his contract, and Minnie thinks he might have to go public with some pretty horrific stories to prove that they breached it.”

“Horrific stories…”

Their eyes met somberly. “I know.”

“Jesus,” Kasey sighed as he sat up. He pushed his hair out of his face and looked down at his leg. “That feels better. I…I feel better.”

“Good. Try and stay off it as much as you can, okay? Nat loves you to death, don’t tell me she won’t get you what you need.”

“Oh, she will,” Kasey smiled and eased himself carefully off the table. “Thanks, Loops.”

“Bliz,” Remus said, and Kasey turned to look back. “You have time and life and everything else. Really.”

Kasey nodded. He smiled a serious sort of smile. “You’re right. I get in my head.”

“You’re a goalie. That’s part of the job.”

Kasey laughed, flipped him off, and closed the door behind him.

Sirius was waiting for him on one of the couches in the player’s lounge, eyes closed and beanie on his head. His shoulders looked broad in his dark winter coat and suit.

“Hi, handsome,” Remus said, leaning over Sirius with his hands resting against the back of the couch on either side of his head.

Sirius’ eyes opened and he smiled. “Salut.”

“Ready to go home?”

“Regulus says he’s out with Leo. Day off and all that,” Sirius tilted his chin up, silently asking. “House to ourselves.”

Remus pushed himself back upright. “Let’s go.”

~

“I’m glad Regulus had Leo,” Remus said as he stood in Sirius’ massive but mostly empty closet. He picked out one of Sirius’ t-shirts and sweatpants and pulled them on. “They’re both eighteen and both have a lot of pressure to deal with, even if it’s, you know, different pressure. It’s nice.”

“Yeah, I’m happy,” Sirius said as he came back into the bedroom from the bathroom. His torso looked lean in his his sweatpants, the bruising finally faded. "And thankful to Leo. He didn’t have to reach out, you know?” Sirius collapsed onto the bed with a smile, bouncing a little. “Now, let’s stop talking about my brother.”

“Nope, no bed yet. Come on.”

“Loops.”

“You want to play next week, you do this with me now. Let’s go.”

Sirius let Remus wrangle him downstairs and into the gym. Sirius put on some music and then Remus lay him out in just his sweatpants on a soft mat and led him through the breathing exercises and some of the light core work that was on his recovery plan. Sirius kept his eyes on Remus the entire time, the two of them laughing as his hands wandered to Remus’ hips. Remus had to admit that, now that Sirius wasn’t in pain, watching him spread out on the mat like this got him. His softly moving chest, his hard muscles, the shadowed curl of his hair on his temples. He let it get him, there in the privacy of Sirius’ basement. Sirius noticed.

He smiled the next time he raised up in a crunch, abs working, hands behind his head. “Maybe I could use some incentive.”

Remus raised an eyebrow from where he was by Sirius’ bent knees. “Oh?”

Sirius pushed up and held there until Remus bent so he could kiss Remus lightly, then lowered back down.

The next time he came up, he brought Remus down with him. He parted his knees so Remus could settle between them. Sirius’ chest was warm from the exercise, his heartbeat even. Remus sighed into his kisses.

“We should go easy, we have the party at Pascal’s tomorrow—”

“I’m perfect,” Sirius said, and rolled them gently so that Remus was on his back now, Sirius hovering over him. “I feel perfect. I want you so bad.”

It had been a bit of a challenge. They’d been on strict no-sex orders, given to them rather sheepishly by Sirius’ doctor while he was still in the hospital. It had been a lot of Remus trying to sneak a quick jack-off in the shower, trying not to make things harder on Sirius, only to come out of the shower to a glowering, turned-on boyfriend.

Getting the all clear had been spine-melting, and it had sort of been that way ever since. Still, sex was few and far in between. Regulus was in the house more often than not, and even if it was a big house, Remus didn’t think it was the best idea to invite him to stay only to sneak off to Sirius’ bedroom.

Regulus had received the message quickly though, and told them clearly enough when he would be out for a while.

Remus shuttered when Sirius’ hardening cock dragged across his own.

“Fuck, are we really doing this in the gym?” Remus panted out a laugh. He was already so turned on that it ached. His dick pressed insistently against the band of his sweatpants, and when Sirius next dragged his hips down, the loose fabric pulled away to expose the shiny head of his cock. Remus moaned. “Sirius, fuck…fuck, I—”

“No lube,” Sirius said. “Shit, I…”

Remus just pushed Sirius’ sweatpants down over his ass, making his cock fall free, bobbing and stiff, and tugged his own sweatpants down until his hips and thighs were exposed. Remus pushed their hips together, mouth open. It was plenty wet, Sirius cock already beginning to shine at the head.

Sirius fucked his hips forward steadily against Remus, the friction making him squeeze his eyes shut. Remus felt Sirius’ lips against his neck, and wrapped his arms around him. He felt sort of frantic with it, lazily happy with how much he loved this.

“Love you,” he murmured as Sirius pushed forward with a well-aimed thrust. “Fuck, baby, yeah…”

“Not bad for a core workout,” Sirius said into his skin.

Remus laughed, even as pleasure sparked at the edges of his vision. His cock felt heavy and sensitive against his stomach.

“Don’t overdo it,” Remus said. “Here.”

Remus pushed at Sirius’ shoulders until Sirius groaned and rolled onto his back.

“I’m fi—”

His complaints died on his tongue when Remus pressed up all along his side, cock trapped between them, and wrapped a hand around Sirius. He kept his strokes even and tight, running his fingers down over his full balls, the vein on the underside. Sirius was hot in his hand, precome thin and leaking over the back of Remus’ hand. Remus kissed Sirius, tongue sliding into his mouth, and more heat trickled over his fingers. Remus felt like he could come just like that. It was almost—surreal. He was so turned on, especially for not even having done that much. He had just been taking Sirius through his exercises one moment, and then Sirius had taken him between his thighs and he was done for.

“Re, let me,” Sirius breathed, and his fingers found his own cock for a moment before wrapping around Remus’ shoulders to reach behind him, rubbing over the swell of his ass.

Heat pooled in Remus stomach and made his hand stutter, gripping Sirius tighter. “Fuck, yes…”

Sirius’ fingers were soft and slow as they worked their way inside of Remus. It was a little dry, but Remus let his temple pitch forward onto Sirius’ chest as Sirius fingered him. He stroked Sirius slowly, dazed by the contrast between his own pale fingers and the darker, flushed skin of him. He wished he could see Sirius’ hand.

“There,” Remus gasped suddenly. “Ah—”

Sirius pressed him in gentle, slow strokes. It was different, being touched there and not his cock. Remus pushed into the feeling, his cock trapped and still between them. It wasn’t enough to do much except let Sirius’ fingers build a painfully slow pressure inside him. His eyes were lidded as he stroked Sirius’ cock until it was rock hard in his palm. He threw a leg over Sirius’ thighs so that Sirius could push into him deeper, finger curving against his prostate.

Remus just moaned.

“I’m gonna come soon, mon loup,” Sirius panted, hips straining up once, twice. “Loops—”

Remus sped up his hand, swiping his thumb over the swollen head, and then Sirius’ hips jerked. Come dripped lazily over Remus’ fingers, more and more of it, in thick white pulses. Remus’ dick throbbed at the sight, at Sirius’ fingers, tense from his orgasm, pressing hard inside of him. He squeezed his eyes shut, then opened them, gasping. His hand had stilled against the base of Sirius’ cock, and he could feel him pulsing there, cock throbbing through his orgasm. Sirius’ head had fallen back against the mat, his chest rising and falling quickly beneath Remus’ chest. It was a mess on his hips and Remus’ fingers.

“Fuck. Oh—” Sirius moaned as Remus started stroking him again. His cock strained valiantly, but it was spent and softening. “C’mere, Loops, fuck.”

Sirius turned into Remus, fingers twisting inside of him. It gave him a better angle, and when he moved next, he doubled down.

Remus could only hold onto his shoulders, pliant against the mat.

“Can you come like this, sweetheart?” Sirius said gently. “Just on my fingers?”

Remus already felt like he was coming. There was sweat on his temples and chest, and he felt Sirius’ kiss the salt away. His cock was taught against his stomach, an angry red now. Sirius stroked inside of him evenly, but in quicker time. Remus didn’t even have time to catch one breath before the next was stolen.

“I’m coming—” Remus said, but he knew he wasn’t. Not yet. But he was sure he was. He groaned and Sirius kissed his exposed throat, his back arched up, pressing down on him.

“C’mon, baby,” Sirius said. “Fuck, look at you.”

“I’m coming,” Remus said again, voice breaking, and the calloused pad of Sirius’ finger pressed against him hard, and then he really was. It tore out of him forever, spilling against Sirius’ tan skin. Sirius cradled Remus against him, saying soft things in French until Remus could open his eyes again. Sirius took Remus’ dick gently in his hand, easing a last shiver of pleasure from him. Remus smiled a little deliriously and curled closer to his warmth.

“Bath?” Sirius whispered.

“We gotta clean this,” Remus laughed. “Fuck, I feel like my brain is gone.”

“I’ll clean,” Sirius said, and tilted Remus’ head up for a kiss. “Go get the hot water going.”

That sounded fine to Remus.

~

Lily opened the door to Pascal’s house with Harry cradled in her arms.

“Sirius fucking Black I swear to god you triggered my labor.”

“You say that to me every time you see me.”

She stepped aside. “And will continue to do so.”

Remus stepped through the door first and took Harry from her, holding him close so that Sirius could press a kiss to one of his chubby cheeks. He wasn’t heavy, but Sirius wasn’t suppose to lift very much. Harry smiled at him and Remus watched as Sirius smiled back, murmuring in French.

“Where’s Regulus?” Lily asked.

Sirius shrugged, still making faces at Harry.

“Out with Leo,” Finn’s voice suddenly said. He was sitting on the couch with Logan tucked up against his side. “Yeah, uh-huh, Leo’s replacing us with your brother.”

Logan rolled his eyes. “That’s not true.”

Finn raised his eyebrows, as if to say he wasn’t so sure about that. Logan nudged his jaw with his nose until he pressed a light kiss to his lips. Remus smiled.

He could see the long road that was behind them and the long road ahead at the same time. It was better that way.

Most of the team was there. The living room had a huge banner that read Congratulations Logan! and beneath it a smaller one: for finally moving out of my basement! 

Sirius laughed hard. “I didn’t get one of these!”

Pascal shook his head from where he was playing cards with Sergei. “I knew you would leave eventually. This one, I wasn’t so sure.”

“Hey,” Logan groaned.

Remus laughed and snapped a picture of Sirius in front of it.

“Can I have that for my instagram?” James asked.

“Baby, too much instagram, okay, I love you so much, but…” Lily winced.

“But I have a baby now,” James stood to Remus’ other side, and then Remus had two fully grown hockey players making baby talk surrounding him. “That’s what instagram’s for. Isn’t it, my little lion?”

Harry laughed delightedly at his father.

Kasey and Natalie were sitting on the couch beside Logan and Finn. Natalie had Kasey sitting between her legs on the floor, fingers running through his hair as she talked to them. Kasey seemed to be talking very seriously about something with Katie, who seemed to be wearing three princess dresses at the same time. She was sitting in his lap and he was nodding along, responding whenever she waited for him to.

Remus handed Harry back to Lily when they went into the kitchen to get drinks. Celeste was in the kitchen with Anya, and Thomas seemed to be helping, too, along with Noelle.

When Sirius said he was surprised to see her, she waved him off, taking a sip of her wine. “I’m the resident Tremblay sister representative. We were all pretty worried about Lolo for a minute there, but…” she smiled. “If only we knew. Not one boy, but two. Plus,” she looked over at Thomas, who was focusing intently on what Celeste was saying and stirring on the stove. “I have my own reasons.”

“Talkie’s a good one,” Remus said. “You lucked out there.”

“Right?” Noelle laughed, then nodded at Sirius. “I’m really glad you’re okay.”

“Me too,” Remus and Sirius said at the same time.

Noelle laughed again, and then her expression became more mild. “And…” she looked towards the living room, where they could distinctly hear Logan’s laugh. “I know none of this was easy for you two, but I’m happy you were there for my brother. Maybe not in the way you wanted to be…in the way any of us wanted…but you showed him it was okay to be who he is. I think Finn would have gotten to him eventually but I think it would have taken a lot longer. I’m glad he’s happy now. And that’s largely thanks to you two.”

“The delicious smells of success,” Thomas suddenly sang out, slightly off-key. “Breathe in the delicious smells of success, hey, Christmas, come over here and look at this goodness.”

Noelle laughed. “Oh, I’m already looking at it.” She sent Remus and Sirius a last smile. “Anyway, I said my piece.”

Remus laughed as she returned to Thomas’ side, tucking herself against him.

“That was sweet,” he said and rubbed his hand gently over Sirius’ chest, sort of out of habit by now. He could feel the bandages there.

Sirius kissed Remus’ temple. “Yeah.”

“Sirius, mon cher,” Celeste kissed Sirius’ cheek when she came over from the stove. “You are okay? Of course you are, Remus is with you. No more big empty house and take out meals, oui?”

Sirius laughed. “Way to sell me out.”

Remus snorted. “Like everyone didn’t already know.”

Celeste laughed. “C’est vrai.” She sighed, patting Sirius’ chest, near his ribs. “I am still so angry about Grayback, honestly.”

“Aren’t we all,” Pascal said, coming over. Celeste wrapped an arm around him.

“You and me both,” Sirius said, taking a sip of his wine. “But it’s over. I have to let it be over or else I’ll go insane.”

“You’ll be back out there soon,” Pascal said.

Sirius smiled. “Only thanks to Loops.”

Remus rolled his eyes. “It’s you who does the hard part.”

Pascal laughed. “As if getting this boy to do what he’s told isn’t the hard part.”

Remus laughed. “Hm, true.”

“Celeste, the goodness looks ready to me,” Thomas called over from the stove.

Celeste laughed and leaned back towards the doorway to the living room.

“Dinner, everyone!” she called.

It only took a few moments for the kitchen to become crowded with people lining up with their plates.

“Hey,” Evgeni bee-lined between them for the wine bottle, but stopped on the way to give Remus a kiss on both cheeks. “Get Captain laid, no more grumpy.”

“Kuny,” Remus said.

Nado, behind him as always, cracked up. Sirius laughed, too.

“Merde, Kuns,” he said. “Subtle.”

“Very,” Regulus’ wry voice suddenly said from behind them as he and Leo entered the kitchen.

“Just in time!” Celeste said, handing them both plates. “Where have you boys been?”

Leo shrugged. “Just—hi, sweetheart,” he cut off as Finn wrapped his arms around his waist. “Just touring around Gryf. Got lunch.”

“Yeah, Sid’s is the best,” Regulus said.

Sirius spluttered mid way through serving himself dinner. “I told you that.”

“So?”

“So, you believe Leo and not me?”

Leo grinned. Regulus shrugged.

Remus spent most of dinner holding baby Harry and watching Sirius tickle his tummy while he laughed. James looked ready to cry at the sight. Lily took him back to be fed when they moved to sit around the living room with dessert, but Remus didn’t mind. He just leaned back into Sirius’ chest, happy with his team around him.

Logan looked red in the face from all the jokes implying why he was so eager to move in with Leo and Finn. Adele had stuck close to him all evening, sitting on his free side. Logan had his arm around her. Remus had overheard him assuring her that he’d be over to visit all the time, which he thought was unbearably sweet. Leo looked resigned and amused to the teasing, and Finn just looked thoroughly pleased, sitting between them with an arm around each.

Remus felt a kiss being placed on his neck.

“Maybe we could celebrate more than one move tonight,” Sirius said into Remus’ ear.

Remus held Sirius’ arms across his chest, turning to look at him. “What?”

Sirius just smiled and pulled Remus out of the living room and into the butler’s pantry of the kitchen. He took Remus’ hands in his warm ones. “You should move in with me.”

Remus took a slow breath in.

Sirius slid his hands up Remus’ forearms. “I want you to move in with me.”

“Baby…”

“Besides,” Sirius smiled. “Your mom will be coming to town soon with any luck,” Sirius knocked gently on the wooden cupboard behind Remus’ head with a smile. “Better not to disappoint her.”

Remus laughed, reaching up to press his hands to Sirius’ cheeks. “Better not.”

Sirius leaned down to nudge their noses together. “Live with me. You sort of already do, and I…I love it so much. I love having you near.”

Remus nodded. “Yes.” He kissed him once, and again, and again. “Yeah, I want to.”

Sirius smiled into their next kiss, and that was how Logan found them.

“Alors,” he said, hands up. “Sorry. Just got sent in for some more wine. God knows I need it.”

Remus flushed and laughed as Logan reached down for a bottle from the wine fridge.

“Carry on.”

“Oops,” Sirius snorted when they were alone again.

“I’ll have to get a car,” Remus mused as Sirius hugged him against his chest. Sirius lived just outside the city center. “No more subways and city walking from out here.”

“I’ll buy you whatever car you want.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

Sirius squeezed him closer. “It’s what I said. I want to. What else do you want? Tell me.”

Remus smiled and tilted his chin up to look at him. “You.”

~

It had been hard, saying goodbye to Sirius for the short road trip to Vegas. It was strange going without him.

“Force him to keep doing his exercises,” Remus had told Regulus firmly.

“Will do,” Regulus saluted.

“Miss you already,” Sirius had said softly when he dropped Remus off at departures.

“Just a few days,” Remus kissed his across the seats, and then kissed his new star necklace. “They’ll win.”

“Shh,” Sirius laughed gently.

Remus just smiled. “You’ll see."

Remus was in the visitor’s PT room, making sure it was well-stocked. Just in case. Moody was already in there, leaning against the table and watching the pre-game. He greeted Remus with a nod, and Remus pulled out a box of supplies to sort through while listening.

“—first time the Lions will be on the ice with Fenrir Grayback who, as we all know, received a two game suspension after a hard hit on Lions Captain Sirius Black, breaking four of his ribs. We know that the Lions organization was especially not happy about the lack of severity shown by the League. I suppose we may see what the players have to say about this tonight. I expect the Lions will push especially hard for a win in honor of their wounded Captain—not to mention that winning this game would secure them a spot in this year’s Stanley Cup play-offs. Marc-André Fleury is back with his rainbow stick tape, his second time showing support for Black. It’s nice to see. Let’s take a look at who else we’re watching tonight. First, we’ll talk about Logan Tremblay…”

“One game,” Moody grumbled. “One game.”

“One game,” Remus repeated. “Sirius really wanted to be out there tonight.”

“I don’t think Grayback knows what’s coming for him now that he isn’t,” Moody laughed gruffly. “You saw those boys when he took Sirius out. They’re fresh out of a day-off now. Rested, furious, determined.” Moody tilted his head. “I feel good things in my leg.”

Remus laughed. “Well, thank God.”

Sirius was sitting with his brother on the large, leather couch in his TV den, anxious and waiting for the second period to resume. The commercials were muted and he was waiting for Regulus to work his way up towards saying whatever it was that he was holding back. Sirius could tell there was something.

“Your house is ridiculous,” Regulus said around his Chinese takeout—not for the first time.

“I was young,” Sirius said defensively. “I thought buying a house like this was, like, required.”

“Stupide,” Regulus snorted.

“—a nasty hit on Finn O’Hara by Ryan Reaves, but he seems okay,” the commentator said, replaying the hit, and Sirius tensed. He didn’t need a replay of that. They cut back to commercials again.

“Do you think they can actually force me to go back?” Regulus said suddenly.

When Sirius looked over he was poking mildly at his noodles.

“I won’t let them do that.”

Regulus rolled his eyes. “You’re Sirius Black, not God.”

“I won’t let them do that,” Sirius said again. “Tu comprends? I will not. And Minnie won’t either.”

“Maman says—”

Sirius sat up. “You’ve been talking to her?”

“I have to sometimes,” Regulus grumbled. “Legal stuff. Minnie’s always there.”

“It doesn’t matter what she says. She is—”

“Yes, I know what she is,” Regulus snapped. “I’ve been living with her—until a few months ago, in case you forgot.” He glowered around the room. “While you were in your big fancy house…”

Sirius blinked. “Reg…”

“I’m not—mad at you. I was, but I’m not. I mean, I’m doing what you did, aren’t I? Making a better life, damn the consequences?” Regulus sighed. “There are other Snakes who want out, you know.”

Sirius sat up. “Like…witnesses? Reg, you could compile a case.”

“They’re worried they’ll never get back into the League,” Regulus said. “I’m trying, but…I don’t know, Sirius.”

Sirius’ heart ached. He looked down at his chicken and rice. “I wish I could tell you what to do.”

Regulus looked at him, gray on gray, and nodded. “I know.” He glanced at the TV. “We’re back.”

Sirius secretly liked that. Looking at the Lions play with his brother, and hearing him say we.

“O’Hara didn’t need any help getting up, even if he looked a little rattled. Now, speaking from experience, I don’t know about you, Lee, but I was waiting for O’Hara’s line mate, Logan Tremblay to have something to say about it…Tremblay did not challenge Reaves, though.”

They were lining up for puck drop, James at the center against—

Grayback.

“You know, Dean, I think that’s a testament to these young Lions, really all the Lions. They call them the cubs, you know. You can tell how much they want this. They band together, they listen, they work…I think it’s pretty rare to see such fine communication in an entire team.”

Grayback won the face off.

“Fuck,” Regulus breathed.

Sirius wished he was there, standing beside Remus, on the bench, jumping the boards—anything. Instead, he was sitting on the couch, eating take-out. Helpless.

The entire first period, and the majority of this one had been back and forth. The score was still 0-0. They were fighting. Hard. Fenrir passed it to Tuch, who knocked it over to Engelland. Engelland took a hard shot, and Leo caught it in his glove.

“Another amazing save by Knut,” Dean said. “Rookie goal tender Leo Knut has blocked 29 shots in this game so far, most of them with his glove. I love seeing that sort of technique from the younger players, you know?”

“Absolutely Dean. And it looks to me like Coach Weasley is giving the Blizzard, Kasey Winter, a nice long rest as he looks ahead to hopefully a long and successful playoff run.”

Sirius leaned forward as play started up again. Evgeni barreled against Reaves and Fenrir, evading a two-on-one with a slick pass to Nado. It was hard hockey—it looked a little like play-off hockey. Brutal, hard-hitting, and determined.

It stayed like that until half way through the third.

“Fucking hell,” Regulus said. “How does this game still have no score?”

Sirius shook his head. His heart was in his throat. He had texted Remus at the second intermission.

Boys are fired as hell, Remus had said. Good feelings. They don’t even seem tired.

Harzy okay? he had said.

Yes. Then, a minute later. Boasting that you’re checking on him XD

That reassurance was the only thing keeping Sirius sane.

“We have to break their defense,” Sirius was half watching the battle on the ice and half running through plays in his mind. The clock read twelve minutes.

Sirius could have laughed. He pressed his necklace pendant between his palms, his steepled fingers against his mouth. He wasn’t religious. He just wanted this. For all of them.

Pascal’s line was out.

“Come on Dumo,” Sirius said.

Sirius watched Pascal and Fenrir line up for the face off with tense shoulders. He waited, and waited, and then the referee was straightening again, looking at Pascal and pointing away.

“Fuck,” Sirius cursed. “He’s kicking Dumo out of the circle.”

“I wonder what he said.”

Sirius silently begged Pascal to be careful.

Brady took Pascal’s place. He won the face off, and Sirius and Regulus shouted.

He passed it easily to Pascal, who dragged it along the boards.

“What’s he going so slow for?” Regulus demanded, fist hitting the couch.

Sirius only saw what was coming next because of the TV angle.

Pascal had his head down, and Fenrir was skating hard towards him on the ice.

Sirius and Regulus were on their feet in a second, shouting at the television. They couldn’t warn him.

Sirius couldn’t even breathe properly. It seemed to go on in slow motion, all of it. Pascal, his—his father, really, his protector. The man who had taken him right from under his mother’s grasp. Pascal who knew him better than anyone. Maybe even Remus.

Fenrir was obviously going in for the hit. He was probably confident that he could get away with it again. Just like he had with Remus. With Sirius. If he so much as touched Dumo—

But he underestimated Pascal Dumais just like had last time.

Pascal, puck on his stick, let Fenrir get closer, and closer, and then deked right. He spun on his right blade harshly and kicked off the boards like a goalie did on a goal post. The effect was that he went rocketing out of the way, right towards the Golden Knights’ goal, and Fenrir slammed into the boards with his own full-force.

The game didn’t pause for him. It only stopped when the goal lit up red as Pascal shot a clean line into the top left corner of the net.

Six minutes and three seconds remaining. 1-0, Lions. The Lions bench was on their feet, sticks banging against the boards as Pascal skated down for glove taps. The TV showed his familiar face, smiling. He looked into the camera for a moment, and Sirius swore Pascal was looking right at him.

He won’t get you again, the look said. Pascal tussled Remus’ hair with his glove. Or any of us.

Six minutes felt like six hours, longer and longer with each one of Leo’s saves. They showed his face during an offside whistle. He tilted his helmet up for some water. His blonde hair was darkened and drenched with sweat, but his blue eyes were fierce. He tapped his mask back down, and went back into a crouch. Sirius had never been so proud of Leo fucking Knut.

Shots were traded ferociously, the puck practically bouncing between the zones. Leo saved it with his blocker, a few bouncing off of his helmet, some dangerously close to his neck guard. He pushed off one post and dropped into a full split, the puck sliding snugly against his pad until he scooped it up like a hawk.

“Fucking hell, Leo,” Regulus mumbled.

“Right,” Sirius said. “Merde.”

Three minutes. James had four shots that very nearly went in. Logan had five close-calls. They were panting on the bench, squirting cold water down their necks, but they were keeping the score. They were protecting their lead.

Two minutes.

The Golden Knights pulled their goalie, the net was empty, and still no one scored again.

When the buzzer finally sounded, Sirius was breathing like he was on the ice, too.

The bench exploded, spilling out onto the ice. Finn threw his gloves into the air right before Logan crashed into him.

They had won the game with one goal, and three periods of sheer will-power.

Sirius hugged Regulus hard. He watched as his boys jumped on each other against the boards, knocking Leo’s helmet for his shut-out and grinning. They were clinched.

They were going to the playoffs.

#sweater weather #lumosinlove #sweater weather lumosinlove #lumosinlove sweater weather #coops #wolfstar #wolfstar fic #lumosinlove oc #lumosinlove ocs #o'knutzy #Thomas walker #Kasey winter #harry potter #Harry Potter fic

[trickster-tabby]

Why?

Soo that intrulogical breakup fic? Yeah I'm making it an au. Technically an... Aau? Because it's an au of my main au?

Whatever the synopsis of this one is:

Logan tries to sleep normally the night that Remus left him. He turns out snapping at Remus in a snowy clearing and regretting it later.

And I know it was established in part 1 that the breakup was because of Logan's father but I'm retconning that it was because "the relationship wasn't working"

Pairings: post-breakup intrulogical

Warnings: crying, yelling

❤️Logan is a transgender man❤️

Logan pulled his binder off and dropped onto the bed, internally begging himself to stop crying.

Remus has just broken up with him an hour or so earlier, and Logan definitely wasn't taking it well. He had been crying ever since, refused to answer when Thomas called him, and had even yelled at his cat.

Logan pulled the blanket over himself, rolling over towards where Remus was supposed to be.

But he wasn't there.

Logan felt his face twitch as he tried to hold back more tears. His chest hurt.

And, just like every other time he's ever cried, his right hand was in agony. A burning, pulsing pain.

He curled up, mumbling and asking what he did wrong.

He and Remus loved each other more than anything, so why would he just leave? Had Logan done something wrong? Was it because Logan had gotten kinda fat? Was it... Because he was trans?

No, Remus loved that about Logan; he'd spent many hours playing with Logan's chest and belly.

So what did he do wrong?

Logan squeezed his eyes shut, sobbing. He jumped out of bed and rushed over to the closet.

He pulled on his jacket and ran out of his room, down the stairs, and to the front door. He grabbed his boots and shoved his feet into them, driven by anger and grief.

Logan opened the door, went out onto the porch, locked the door, and ran down the stairs out into the snow.

He ran down his property a bit, before veering to the left and taking a path into the woods.

He kept running, until...

He stopped, heavily breathing. He slowly looked up.

He was in a clearing, where he and Remus had built an igloo off to the side years ago. Thanks to their magic, it was still there.

Logan sobbed out, reaching into his pocket and...

"Logan?"

Logan flinched as he heard Remus behind him. He felt his face go from grief, to shock, to... Anger.

"What are you doing here..?" he said, not turning around.

"I just... Wanted to apologize for leaving you like this." Remus took a deep breath. "It's not that I don't love you anymore. I do, I love you more than anything else in the world. But-"

"Why?"

Remus stopped short. "Sorry..?"

Logan looked behind himself a bit. "Why did you leave me?"

"Logan, I-"

"No." Logan raised his voice, turning fully towards Remus. "Look, our relationship was perfect. It was exactly how I'd always hoped my life would turn out. Even back when I was still a little girl, it's all I've ever wanted."

Logan looked down, sighing shakily. "Why would you take that away from me?

"Lo..."

"Why?"

"Honey, I... I just..."

"Why?!" Logan yelled out, stomping his foot in anger. Tears streamed down his face, stinging in the cold.

Remus looked down. "I... I'm sorry."

"If that's really how you're gonna be, then here!" Logan reached back into his pocket and threw something at Remus before turning away from him again.

Remus caught the object, looking down at it and seeing that it was a small box. He slowly opened it...

And saw a ring inside.

His eyes went wide. "Firefly..."

"Take it and go."

Remus opened his mouth and started to say something.

"Just fucking go home, Remus!"

Remus hesitated, before whispering "I'm sorry." He turned and left.

Logan gripped his sleeve, crying less out of sadness and more out of anger.

He fell to his knees, hugging himself as he sobbed.

Why would Remus take that away from him...?

@sablesides @nerosdayinhell @januceit @vellicrow @unknownpupper @boredomrewards @xandriagreat @lord-of-the-frogs

#stel's tss au #logan sanders #remus sanders #intrulogical #logan angst

[nerdy-emo-royal-dad]

I dare you to write sad logan crying into stuffed animal but then stuffed animal hugs back and then he realizes it's either roman or remus-

HEY FOLKS! So yeah that took forever and I have four more prompts. Anon, I do apologize greatly for how long this took. Going to school in your country’s top university apparently means no time for anything else eyyy (I’m dying someone punch college in the face for me). Anyway aaaa I hope you still enjoy it even if took so long. Love y’all!

Feelings of the Mind, Thoughts of the Heart

Warning/s: None but feel free to inform me of you see one

Word Count: 1679 words

Pairing/s: Platonic/Romantic Logince (Logan x Roman) (totes up to you)

~~~

Logan would rather fade than admit that he was this close to breaking. 

He didn’t mean the kind that made his face heat up or his nostrils flare while his taut knuckles shook at his side and his teeth clashed with each other. Though he might have just preferred that. Unfortunately when Logan said “breaking,” he meant it in a way that left an uncomfortable mini-hurricane wreaking havoc within his ribcage while he tried his hardest to contain it inside. 

Logan’s entire frame shook from the effort it took to maintain his composure in front of his fellow sides; not that they were paying attention in the first place, anyway. He didn’t really quite understand why he was having such a reaction right now when this blatant disregard for him, this… this ignorance was something he encountered every single day.

And so he left.

He was willing to bet that no one even noticed him sinking out. If they did, They probably would have just chalked it off to his reputation for having such a short fuse. He could barely make out the room around him as he blindly made his way towards the bed; the tears welling up in his eyes doing nothing to help his vision. He never remembered the bed being that far from his door before, nor his floor being carpeted and soft enough that it silenced his footsteps, but that was the least of his concerns.

If he could scold himself, he would. He felt pathetic and weak and emotional and disgusting as he closed his eyes and released the contents of his tear ducts the second he came into contact with the unrealistic softness of the bed. Eyes still wrenched shut, Logan leaned forward, desperate to find any form of solace or comfort; or at the very least anything he could use to muffle his cries. He felt very much like the polar opposite of logic as his damp forehead finally came into contact with an unidentifiable something, his glasses pushing uncomfortably against the frame of his eyes and the bridge of his nose. 

His vision stayed dark as he forced himself to take any semblance of logic he could. He clasped a hand over his mouth as he buried his face into the smooth, fragrant fabric of this… pillow? Curtain? Blanket? Sheet? Stuffed toy? He wasn’t exactly certain. All that mattered was that he was Logan. Logical, calculated, reserved, put-together, proper, objective Logan; and crying was not something the embodiment of logic should be doing. So he stayed there doing his best to muffle his cries, never daring to open his eyes. He hiccupped, gasped, and heaved in the lowest volume he could. He fisted his hands on the sheets below him and held his mouth as tight as he could. 

Logan tried remembering methods of calming an individual down. They could point out all his errors, but he would never allow them to take his identity from him. He scoured the filing cabinets of his mind ‘till he found a suitable suggestion. Focus. He needed to focus. Logan zeroed in on the feeling of the cloth in his hand. He let it slide through his fingers as he crumpled it, allowing his fingertips to recognize the material -- satin. Wait… satin? His sheets weren’t satin. His sheets were cotton. The thin kind of cotton that felt cool against his skin, comfortable and not all at once. 

He internally winced as a particularly loud sob pushed past his lips, and so he put his focus back on the softness he was leaning on. It simultaneously felt all too cold but oh, so warm. It smelled of flowers; of chrysanthemums and daffodils swaying along a gentle breeze. He took the hand on his mouth away and placed it on the material in front of him. He rubbed the cloth on his fingertips and identified it as...silk. But that… didn’t make sense. Not at all. As he brought up hypotheses in his head and sifted through possibilities, he felt a little pinprick of dread. He looked back on all the little pieces. The carpeted floor, the distance of the bed, the satin sheets and the silky material of--

All the thoughts died down like a flat-lining cardiogram when he felt a tentative hand rub against his back.

Logan dared to lift his forehead off the comfortable something to open his eyes, breath hitching in the process, and all he saw was red. There were many, many shades of red. There was maroon, rose, cherry, garnet, scarlet, currant, and a whole variety more that probably didn’t even have proper names. But Logan recognized the rich crimson of this red all too well; knew how the familiar color matched perfectly with the smoothness of the silk. He’d be an imbecile if he didn’t recognize Roman’s sash by now.

And maybe he already was, considering he made it this far without realizing he sank down into the wrong room. And maybe he was more than just an imbecile for forgetting that Roman had not been summoned for this session, and that’s why he wasn’t up there with the others at the moment. Maybe he was positively beyond an imbecile if he’d been cryi-- trying to stop himself from crying against Roman that entire time.

Logan shot up, consequentially bumping Roman’s hand away, his probably red eyes lookin at the prince’s own wide irises, creased forehead, and damp sash through fogged up spectacles.

“Roman! I-- I deeply apologize. I had not realized-- I should’ve checked first-- It was faulty of me to sink down into the wrong room I apologize greatly, I--”

His stream of words and possibly his airflow were cut off by the same hand coming to rest on Logan’s shoulder and Roman’s eyes looking back at him with such an indistinguishable amount of emotion locked up inside the hues of his iris.

“Logan, it’s okay. I don’t mind. Really.”

He… what? He didn’t mind what?

“I-- I don’t understand--”

Roman’s brows only furrowed further and the hand squeezed his shoulder just the slightest bit harder. “Logan. Let go.”

For a long stretch of time they simply sat facing each other, one cross-legged on the bed and the other with his knees folded in; waiting for… anything to happen. But nothing needed to happen because the sheer weight of Roman’s words digging into Logan’s chest and the warmth of his hand seeping through his black polo was enough to break cracks into the meticulously put up walls around his heart.

It started with a singular sob and a hand unconsciously flying to his mouth. When Roman gently took that hand off Logan’s lips and held it within his own, the walls crumbled down.

This cry was far from the soft, held-back sobs from minutes ago. This one was loud, messy, hoarse, pitiful, and ugly. Before he knew it, his eyes were back closed as he shuddered and snivelled before the fanciful side who was more than willing to take the logical side in his arms. 

Roman scooted closer to Logan, allowing him to melt and break within the embrace, both uncaring for the mess it’ll leave on the prince’s clothes. He continued to run his hands in circles on Logan’s back, making every hicc and whimper heard. It terrified Logan, honestly; opening up to someone like this, making every vulnerability known and presenting his lowest points for all the world, or Roman in this case, to see. The terror was suffocating, the shame was unbearable, and the regret was overwhelming, but Logan couldn’t stop the tears even if he tried.

A long, soft, gentle shush came from Roman as one of his hands lightly set on the back of Logan’s head; his fingers absentmindedly playing with the strands. The shush soon turned into a low hum, and Logan found himself drowning in the waves of Roman’s voice. He recognized the tune, even as he bawled the eyes out of his muddy brain.  It was a piece by Chopin-- Nocturne Op. 9 No. 2. The dynamics and the anatomy of the piece often took Logan’s breath away as it did, but something about the fact that it was Roman, Roman who always seemed to strike every chord and make anything sound infinitely more pleasing made the composition sound like an entirely different thing. It wasn’t perfect, no; as the human voice can never truly replicate the delicate sounds of the piano. But the lullaby-esque hum still resonated just as sweetly in Logan’s mind and sent ripples of comfort in his chest that spread to the rest of him. 

And when the last sigh finally left Logan’s lungs, and he finally had the energy to lift his head back up to meet the prince’s eyes once more, he found he felt lighter than he ever did before. He thought maybe that’s what releasing approximately months or years worth of locked up sentiments within an hour did to an individual. Perhaps that hypothesis could be put on hold ‘till another opportunity.

Later that day they’d talk about that. They’d discuss the sheer ridiculousness of Logan stumbling into the wrong room, Logan mistaking Roman for a stuffed toy, and Roman letting all of it happen without complaint. They’d talk, share, and open up about insecurities, sensitivities, exhaustion, and frustration. They’d exchange “thank you’s,” “sorry’s,” but also laughter and banter. Later in the day they’d take a long, much-needed walk in the imagination while they poked fun at the other sides and named every creature they encountered and every flower they walked past by.

But for now they were here, in Roman’s room, with a tissue box being handed over by a Roman who had a hint of a genuine smile grazing his lips to a swollen-eyed Logan whose face was caked with dry tears.

For now, Logan was glad he stumbled into the wrong room. For now, Logan allowed himself to be a little less than who he was.

For now, Logan allowed himself not to think, but to feel.

~~~

Don’t forget to hit reblog!! HMU if ya wanna be added/removed from the tag list. Stay safe and hydrated folks!! Love y’all!! <3

Tag list:

@pixalysparkelz-blog @cinquefoilelove @randomslasher @ladynikita @thestoryofme13 @fandomsandanythingelse @asexual-trashbag @fandomsofrandom  @moonlace @nyxwordsmith  @freepaperie081 @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @jughead-is-canonically-aroace @areyousirius-noheisdead @fandersides @sincerely-a-dork @lizziepopanime @emo-nightmare @justmeandmygayships  @elizabutgayer @robinwritesshitposts @booklover223 @nadiestar @quackerz-creations @halfwaytoqueens @madly-handsome @im-a-creepy-cookie @anotheregofanficblog @wisherbysharlight @momalkav24 @merlinfreya27 @sweet-hibiscus-tea-art @did-he-just-hiss-at-me @bella-in-a-bag @apatheticlogic-internet @the-fetus-in-the-blender

#k writes #logince #roman x logan #asks #prompt fill #prompt fic #prompt request #one shot #angst #logan angst #hurt/comfort #angst with a happy ending #logan sanders #roman sanders #sanders sides #crying

[the-sympathetic-villain]

The Stowaway's Heart - Chapter 9

AO3 | First | Previous | Next | Masterpost

Description:  Virgil is rescued by selkies after being abandoned at sea and brought back to their pod to recover. Virgil’s poor, gay heart may just explode from how attractive they all are.

Word Count: 5935

Chapter Warnings: Flirting, Romantic contact, Sexual innuendo, Swearing, Anxiety, Self-esteem issues, Mentions of less than ideal childhoods (Let me know if I missed anything!)

---

“I do apologize, Virgil.” Logan stated, glancing at Remus for help before turning back to Virgil’s desperate expression. “I am struggling to understand why this is an issue. Please, help me understand what is bothering you.”

Virgil stared at his soulmates. His face flushed as he tried to find the right words to convey the sudden feeling of fight-or-flight response pulling at his mind. “I just—I don’t know. It's a lot.”

“It's just dinner, Doom and Gloom.” Remus chimed in playfully. “You won't even have to get naked or nothing—”

“Not helping, Re.” Virgil whined, massaging his temples as he tried to force away the growing ache in his head .

“Awww—Come on, pretty boy.” Remus cooed, curling an arm around his shoulder. “This ain't nothing you haven’t done before.”

Logan's soft chuckle drew Virgil’s attention up as Remus' limbs slowly wrapped around him. “Now, not that I believe Remus’ ego needs stroking—”

“Oh, Lolo.” Remus giggled in Virgil’s ear, mustache tickling his neck. “You make me blush.”

“Re, stop—” Virgil protested weakly, though he could feel his heartbeat start to slow as he melted into Remus’ arms.  His skin tingled with warmth as Logan cleared his throat, drawing both their attention.

Logan's coy smiled gleamed down at Virgil as he stepped forward, raising a hand to Virgil’s cheek. “As I was saying, Remus is right. None of this is nothing new for you.”

“I know,” Virgil’s gaze fell as he went slack in Remus’ arms. His voice dropped, suddenly feeling embarrassed. “but it's different now.”

“What is different, Virgil?” Logan’s smile turned serious as he dropped down beside them.

Virgil bit his lip, hair falling over his eyes as his voice dropped to a whisper. “This is the first time I've been around everyone as an equal.”

“Oh, love.” Logan reached forward to brush the hair from Virgil’s face as Remus' arms squeezed him. “You've always been an equal.”

“I know. Everyone’s been perfectly nice. It’s just—” Virgil quickly lost his words, sighing in exasperation as he shrank back into Remus. “Listen, I get that this doesn’t make any sense, but—"

“It makes perfect sense, Dr. Doom.” Remus’ soothing voice rumbled in his ear as he sank deeper into his soulmate’s arms. “I mean, we boxed you up like a rabid animal. What were you supposed to think?”

“It’s not—it's not that.”

Silence hung in the air for what felt like an eternity before Logan asked the question Virgil had been evading. “What is it that is really bothering you then, dearest?”

“I'm not special.” Virgil whispered quietly, avoiding his soulmates’ eyes. “I'm surrounded by literal mythical beings and I’m just normal.”

“Well,” Logan chuckled, sharing a knowing look with Remus. “I must say I disagree with that sentiment. In fact, I do believe you may be the most special of all of us.”

Virgil’s eyes filled with confusion as he raised an eyebrow in confusion. “I am not.”

“I mean, going by statistics alone, you are the only full bred human among us. The rest of us are selkies.” Logan smirked coyly as he rested a hand on Virgil’s knee. “Therefore, if judging on rarity alone, you are special above all of us.”

“Only if you’re using the lamest metric possible to judge me on.”

“Oh, I am not finished dearest.” Logan smiled as Virgil grumbled. “You are strong where we are weak.”

“What?”

“You are not bound by a pelt, love.” Logan smirked as he traced his fingers up to where Virgil’s hand rested on his thigh. “Should humans land on the island, we are significantly safer with you around because you do not have the same weaknesses as us.”

Virgil hesitated, trying to ignore the tingling in his arm as Logan traced circles on his skin. “I never thought about it that way.”

“Certainly not, because it is as natural to you as breathing.” Logan smiled, not even looking up as he pulled a soft gasp from Virgil as he continued to gently massage his arm. “Much like you seem to overlook your ability to handle our pelts with such ease as a given attribute. Whereas to us, it is a show of incredible strength and self-restraint beyond that of most of your species.”

“I don’t think I should be praised for not turning you into a mindless drone, Lo.” Virgil raised his lip on disgust at the idea, though the expression was short-lived.

“Neither do I, Virgil.” Logan whispered as his fingertips reached Virgil’s elbow.

The light touches along Virgil’s joint sent gentle, lightning-like pulse up his arm, pulling another light gasp from him. “What are you do—”

“However, I do think it is worth considering that it translates to your other traits.” Logan continued quietly. He barely looked up, deep in focus as he rested Virgil’s hand back on his leg and picked up his other hand. “I have already commented on your near selfless behavior, and though I have my concerns about how your self-esteem fuels that trait, it is commendable nonetheless.”

“Logan—” Virgil whined, letting out a breathless sigh as Logan continued his methodic tracing of his arm.

Logan paused briefly, smirking up at the blissful look on Virgil’s face as Remus giggled behind him “Not to mention, I think it is worth noting that your interactions with Patton show that you are both empathetic and compassionate.”

“What are you doing?” Virgil whispered breathlessly.

“Reminding you of all the reasons you are special, love.” Logan whispered, feigning innocence as he smiled knowingly as Virgil’s eyes fluttered wearily.

“I was talking about whatever you’re doing to my arms, you bastard.” Virgil chided weakly, barely keeping his eyes open.

“Sometimes the energy conduits in your body constrict and stop flowing properly due to prolonged stress.” Logan smiled, stopping his movement as he reached up to brush Virgil’s hair from his eyes. “With some practice, I have figured out how to use the gentle application of pressure to allow the energy to flow more efficiently.”

Virgil groaned, rolling his head back into Remus' shoulder. “Do you ever play fair?”

“No,” Logan smirked, drawing his fingertips down Virgil’s jaw. “I have grown accustomed to getting my way.”

Virgil glared up at him, chewing on his lip. “I know I'm overreacting, but—”

“There is no shame in being nervous, dearest.” Logan interrupted gently, smiling reassuringly at him. “but you've contributed a great deal to our lives already and I hate to see you undermine your own value.”

“I haven’t done anything”

“Oh, please.” Remus hushed him with a smirk. “Your presence has changed everything around here.”

Logan’s expression softened as Virgil rolled his head back in disbelief. “What Remus says is true. Obviously, it goes without saying that you have had a significant effect on Remus and I but I think perhaps you don't see the way your presence has affected the others.”

“What do you mean?”

Logan leaned forward, resting a hand on Virgil’s as he continued. “Patton adores you. He has continued to talk about you constantly since the day you were accidentally introduced to him—”

“—and Jan-Jan won't admit it but he's excited to have someone new around." Remus purred into his ear with a sympathetic smile. “The rest of us have known each other since we were kids and it’s been a bit isolating for him.”

Virgil’s eyes dropped to his lap as he leaned into Remus, processing their words. “Roman's really okay with me being out?”

Logan smiled, subtly squeezing Virgil’s hand. “Roman said so himself, love. You have a place here.”

Virgil slowly let out the breath he'd been holding as his grip tightened on Remus' arm. “Okay.”

“Okay?” Logan prompted hesitantly.

“I'll do it.” Virgil bit his lip, nodding stiffly. “It's not like I can avoid it forever anyway.”

The energy around him shifted quickly and he could feel the excitement almost bubbling around him as his soulmates perked up. Remus' arm uncoiled from around him as Logan pulled him to his feet rather suddenly.

Not for the first time, Virgil was grateful that the selkie's grace made up for his own clumsiness. A deep blush settled onto his cheeks as Logan hooked his waist, pulling him close. The selkie’s hair brushed his forehead lightly, sending shivers down his body as Logan leaned his forehead down to his with a contented sigh.

“Thank you, dearest.” Logan whispered, pulling him toward the door. “I promise it will be well worth your time.”

---

Virgil shuffled behind Logan and Remus reluctantly as they led him through the tunnels. His shoulders curled forward, tensing as he tried to make himself smaller as the narrow tunnel began to open up. His anxiety burned in his chest as the loud sound of rushing water filled his ears. He slowed his pace at the entrance to the cave, pausing entirely as he found himself staring out in awe at the open space.

He barely even noticed as Logan and Remus continue on without him as his eye adjusted to the dim light. Hesitantly, he peeked around the corner, letting his eyes trace up the high walls of the cave disappeared into the shadows. His attention slowly drifted to the sound of rushing water as he lifted his head to see a shimmering glimmer on the far wall. A rush of mist rushed past his face as he stepped out into the open and he let out a small gasp as he realized the far wall was made up by a giant  waterfall.

“Beautiful. Isn't it?”

Virgil jumped at the sudden voice behind him. His body tensed and his head spun over his shoulder, relaxing slightly at the sight of Janus' white pelt standing out against the darkness.

“Yeah,” Virgil dropped his gaze, shoving his hands in his pockets as Janus came to stand next to him. “It's pretty impressive, I guess.”

A smile twitched at the corner of Janus' lips as he glanced down at Virgil. “This island holds many wondrous secrets, but this place has always been a particular favorite of mine.”

Dark circles filled the space under Virgil’s eyes as he tipped his gaze up to Janus, crossing his arms. “Yeah?”

“Certainly,” The dim light glistened on Janus' gilded scars as he nodded quietly. “This island has offered sanctuary to us all and there's no denying how fortunate we were to find such a beautiful home, but personally, I'm only truly at peace when I can breathe in the ocean air. The waterfall isn't the same, but the mist offers its own comfort.”

“You don't ever go out?” Virgil questioned, raising an eyebrow up at Janus as the selkie stared wistfully at the waterfall.

Janus shrugged, casually glancing over at Logan and Remus on the far side of the cave. “Of course we do, but it's not as often as any of us would like.”

“Right.” Virgil muttered, chewing his lip as he glanced up at the distant look in the selkie’s eyes. “I guess Logan mentioned that you guys have to be careful, but that doesn't seem fair to deny yourself that comfort when it's so close.”

Janus sighed, crossing his arms across his chest. “Our choices are what brought us here, so to complain about the consequences is redundant. For better or worse, this is our reality now.”

“You hardly seem to have had a choice in your situation.” Virgil muttered quietly, deep in thought.

“Perhaps not originally,” Janus smirked softly at Virgil’s acknowledgement. “but at this point, it's my choice to follow Roman and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Virgil felt his anxiety rise in his chest at the mention of Roman’s name, but he forced his expression to remain neutral. He tapped his fingertips on his arm as he looked down at the ground, eyeing Janus curiously. “What choices brought the others here?”

Janus’ knowing smirk widened. “Forgive me for pointing out the obvious, but I do believe either of your lovers would be more equipped to answer that question than myself.”

“I know. I just—” Virgil stalled as Janus turned to stare at him. He shifted his gaze away, rolling his eyes as Janus chuckled at him. “Just, never mind.”

“Don’t worry, Virgil. I understand.” Janus smiled gently at him. “It's new and you’re still learning to trust them.”

Virgil stopped chewing his lip, looking up at Logan and Remus on the far side of the cave. They were laughing as they sat next each other worked together to light the kindling for the fire. “I'm not worried about them, Janus. I'm worried about what they’ll think of me.”

“Trust me when I say there's nothing you can do to that will scare them away.” Janus reassured him with a knowing smile, running his fingers down the pelt on his shoulders “Even if they weren’t your soulmates, both of them are too insufferably optimistic about people to think ill of you.”

Virgil smirked rolling back on his ankles. “Hopefully, with that advantage I'll be able to live up to their expectations for me.”

Janus smirked, shrugging his shoulders. “You have nothing to worry about, Virgil. Truly, they adore you already."

“Thanks.”  Virgil smiled faintly casting a grateful glance up at Janus. “I appreciate the—”

“Vee!”

Virgil let out a quiet grunt as a small force curled around the back of his knees, nearly knocking him forward onto the ground. He looked down to see Patton’s wet, brown hair as he curled around Virgil’s legs.

“Hey.” Virgil grinned softly as he knelt down to ruffle the kid's wet hair as he giggled. “Long time, no see, kiddo.”

“Finally, the mystery is solved.”

Virgil jumped instinctively at the sound of Roman’s voice behind him. He barely had a moment to react before a hand rested on his shoulder and he looked up to see Janus smiling down at him reassuringly before turning to move back to Roman.

“And what mystery is that, my dear?” Janus cooed as he stepped toward Roman, reaching out to intertwine his fingers around his soulmate’s. An adoring smile spread across his face as he ran his fingers through Roman’s damp, dark hair.

“Our littlest selkie has started referring to his elders as kiddo, and for the life of me, I couldn't figure out where he'd even learned the word,” Roman’s head tipped up to Virgil with a gentle smile. “but it would seem that I've found it's source.

“I'm sorry.” Virgil replied, running his fingers through his hair as he dropped his gaze.

“No need to apologize, Virgil.” Roman replied immediately, holding a hand out in reassurance as Virgil slowly tipped his head back up to him. “I actually find it quite endearing.”

“Oh.” Virgil blinked. He couldn’t help but be shocked at the gentleness in Roman’s voice as he spoke to him. “Right.”

“Vee—” Patton whined impatiently as he leaned his hands into Virgil to get his attention. “—I went swimming today.”

“Did you now?” Virgil felt his confusion melt away as the kid's eyes sparkled up at him.

“I did!” Patton grinned as he rolled forward on his feet. “I went all the way down to the bottom and I wasn’t even scared.”

“That's amazing, kid.” Virgil chuckled as Patton leaned into shoulder. “You’re a lot braver than me.”

Patton beamed at the praise, absently grabbing a handful of Virgil’s shirt as he rolled forward on his feet in excitement. “I brought something for you.”

“For me?” Virgil blinked in surprise. His eyed flitted up to Roman and Janus, chewing his lip at their warm smiles as he turned back to Patton. The kid was almost bouncing as he lifted his hands up and unfolded them for Virgil.

“Yeah, here.” Patton whispered as he held out a dark, black rock. The outside was rough and unremarkable, but as the kid turned over the rock, Virgil’s jaw dropped. The far side of the rock was broken, and Virgil could see glittering purple crystals inside.

“Pat, wow." Virgil whispered as Patton dropped the crystal in his hand. He stared blankly down at the crystal as he ran his fingers over its smooth surface. Warmth spread across his chest as turned up at Patton with a soft smile. “Are you sure you don’t want to keep it for yourself?”

“It's ‘kay.” Patton murmured as he leaned his head into Virgil’s shoulder, curling his arms around Virgil’s bicep. “You need it for your new room. Janus says the purple ones keep the bad dreams away.”

“My new room?” Virgil echoed in disbelief, feeling his shoulders slump as Patton continued to ramble excitedly.

“I didn't want you to be scared, if you have to turn your lamp off.” Patton finished with a tired smile as Virgil wrapped an arm around his waist.

“That was meant to be a surprise,” Roman chuckled softly above him. “but I suppose the kid's tired rambling is as good a way to find out as any other.”

Virgil stood up, gently lift Patton into his arms with him. He looked up at Roman as Patton leaned his head into his chest. “What do you mean?”

“Logan’s room has been functional up until this point but since you’re going to stay, you need to have a space that’s all your own.” Roman smiled as he leaned back into Janus’ chest. “We've got temporary furnishings to get you by for now, but of course eventually we’ll get you something more to your taste.”

“You would do that for me?” Virgil whispered, feeling his voice quiver with emotion.

“Of course, Virgil.” Roman’s expression softened as Patton leaned on Virgil’s chest. “This is your home now. You need a space that belongs only to you.”

“Maybe, but—” Virgil took a small breath as Roman smiled at him reassuringly. “—but, like, personalizing it seems expensive. I wouldn’t want to put you out.”

“To be honest, Logan’s negotiation techniques are effective and the resources we tend to trade are bountiful.” Roman let out a soft snort, looking over at Janus as he rolled his eye. “Not all of us have Logan’s high taste, but his room is proof that he can get his hands on most anything for you.”

“Thank you.” Virgil whispered, unable to think of anything else to say as an unexpected warmth flooded his body.

“There’s no need to thank me or anyone else. The fact that we were going to make you comfortable was a given when you decided to stay.” Roman smiled patiently as Virgil ducked his head to hide the flush on his cheek as gratitude flooded his chest.  “Now, let's get this kid some food before he passes out on you.”

“S-sure. No problem.” Virgil nodded as Roman reached down n to pull Patton off where he'd laid his head on Virgil’s shoulder. The selkie edged past Virgil, followed shortly by Janus. Virgil rose to his feet and hesitantly turned to follow Roman and Janus as they moved to join Logan and Remus around the roaring fire his soulmates had managed to conjure up. Virgil took his time following. He reached his wrist to his eyes, wiping the tears from his eyes before following behind the selkies.

---

Everything seemed to blur around Virgil as he stepped out to join the family of selkies. He could feel tingling on his skin as the sounds of laughter filled the air and the light of the fire flickered on the walls of the cave. The smell of smoke was dampened as it vented out through the gaps of the edge of the waterfall.

Despite Virgil’s best effort, he could feel his energy draining as the selkies moved around him as they prepared the meal. Time seemed to pass slowly as they moved about their routine around him. He knew he should engage but as time passed their words slowly started to melt into the background of his mind. His skin prickled as he stepped back, watching as Logan tossed a bundle of herbs into the pot in which he was cooking as he conversed quietly with Janus.

A sad smile spread across his face as he gravitated towards the shadows, watching the family smile fondly as Patton climbed up to help Logan as he attempted to prepare some sort vegetable that Virgil didn’t recognize. The simple moments held a certain kind of beauty, but as he stood alone, he couldn’t banish the feeling of being disconnected from everyone else at bay. He leaned into the cave wall, so lost in thought that he nearly jumped out of his skin when a pair of arms wrapped around his waist.

“Why ya lurkin'?”

Virgil instantly relaxed at Remus' voice in his ear. He crossed his arms, subtly leaning back into Remus' chest. “I'm not lurking.”

“You’re creeping in the shadows, pretty boy.” Remus cooed quietly into Virgil’s ear. “That's lurkin' by definition.”

Virgil tensed, feeling heat rush to his cheeks as he dropped his eyes to the ground. “I didn’t mean to—”

“Hey—Relax, man. Creep to your heart's content.” Remus pulled him deeper into the shadows as he rested his head in the nook of Virgil’s shoulder. “It's a little overwhelming. Isn’t it?”

Virgil sighed as Remus’ deep voice resonated through his chest as the warmth of his arms soothed him. “It shouldn’t be. Everyone’s been more than nice about letting me stay here.”

“Ain’t nobody letting you do nothing, babe.” Remus chuckled, pulling Virgil down so he was almost curled in Remus' lap as they rested back among the rocks. “Everyone’s excited to have you here.”

“I—” Virgil tensed as Patton squealed in excitement from across the cave. His attention flitted about the room as the feeling of being detached returned to his body as he watched the happy smiles of the family of selkies. Remus' hand curled into his own as his anxiety peaked. He paused, looking up into Remus’ emerald eyes long enough to bring him back to his body enough and relax into Remus’ warmth. “—Thank you, Re.”

“You don't have to thank me for nothing.” Remus purred as Virgil relaxed back into him. “Shit sucks when you feel out of place, especially when you’re supposed to feel like you’re at home.”

“Fucking stupid is what it is." Virgil muttered as curled into Remus' shoulder, eliciting a chuckle from the man holding him. Virgil smirked up at Remus and his expression softened at the melancholy in the man’s expression as he smiled down at Virgil. “You know what it feels like then?”

“I know.” Remus purred at the surprise in Virgil’s voice. With a dramatic flourish, his hand came to rest on Virgil’s leg as he played up his apparent distress. “It’s difficult to imagine that anyone could resist my dazzling charm, but there’s no accounting for taste.”

Virgil snorted, blushing as Remus’ crooked grin beamed down at him. He chuckled as he shyly dropped his gaze, leaning into Remus' shoulder. “Sounds like their loss.”

Softness spread across Remus’ dramatics melted into a fond smile and firelight flickered in his eyes as he stared down at Virgil. “You surprise me, Virge. I thought for sure you’d take longer than Lolo to warm up to me.”

“What do you mean?”

“Poor bastard actually cried when we found out were soulmates.” Remus chuckled as Virgil’s eyes darted to Logan and back to Remus.

“What?” Virgil's grip tightened on Remus' hand and he started to sit up.

Remus shrugged, smiling down at Virgil as he gently eased him back. “In his defense, we were both only a little older than Patton when we found out, so we were both pretty freaked.”

“You were that young?” Virgil relaxed slightly as Remus' arm curled around the back of his neck.

“Our pods traveled the same waters. We ended up at the same beaches throughout the year.” Remus chuckled. “I actually thought he was a bit of a stick in the mud before I got to know him. Couldn’t take a joke to save his life.”

“Really?” Virgil stared over at Logan across the room, unable to imagine a Logan who was anything less than the sultry man whose unearthly amount of confidence was constantly testing his wit's end.

“Thought I was going to end up giving up my entire life for some prude.” Remus chuckled. “Never In my life would I have imagined that he'd be willing to leave his own pod, let alone that he'd be able to outmatch me on my own bullshit better even than Roman.”

Virgil blinked, turning back to Remus in confusion. “He left his pod?”

“Soulmates are kind of a big deal, especially among selkies. Don’t matter how young you are. Once you’re matched, you’re expected to stay with each other.” Remus sighed. “Most pairs come from the same pods, but since we came from different pods one of us had to give up the life we knew.”

“Seems pretty harsh.” Virgil muttered. “You were just kids. How can they ask that of you?”

“At the time, I thought it was total sea horse shit,” Remus growled as he reluctantly shrugged it off. “but I was glad to have had him around when I did. My own pod didn’t like me much but thanks to him, I always had someone outside of Roman.

Virgil frowned, resting a hand on Remus’ waist as he drew quieter. “I thought you said he was upset.”

“Not upset, just scared.” Remus whispered with a smile. “As if all the overwhelming feelings weren't enough, Lolo was made even more nervous by the fact that I had a bit of a reputation.”

“I'm sure you did—”

“Not like I do now,  Virge.” Remus cut him off abruptly, looking ashamed. “It wasn’t good.”

Virgil paused, surprised by Remus interruption.

“I was an angry kid. Ro was constantly bailing me out of brawls with my podmates.” Remus sighed, glancing over at Roman. “Hell, I can't even imagine if I didn’t have him in my corner. I give my brother a lot of shit, but he's always had my back when I needed him.”

“Why were you mad?”

“Felt out of place and lonely. People were drawn to Roman and repulsed by me.” Remus whispered. “I don’t care what anyone says. If a kid gets the idea in their that they’re not wanted, that shit messes ‘em up for life.”

“I know the feeling.” Virgil replied, quietly fidgeting with his sleeve.

“Gotta say though, my whole attitude changed when Lolo came around.” Remus whispered as a rosy blush spread across his face and he grinned down at Virgil. “God, he's so pretty. You know?”

Virgil smiled as he curled into Remus warmth watching his eyes light up as he talked about Logan.

“I was so scared he wouldn’t even like me. Might be the only time in my life I tried to dull myself down to impress someone.” Remus purred. “I was ready for another rejection but turns he was into all the same weird shit I was.”

“It's too soon for you to be dragging me into all your guys' kinky shit, Re.” Virgil teased, holding Remus'

“Fuck off.” Remus giggled.  “We were kids, you freak.”

Virgil's breath caught in his throat as Remus curled his face into his neck. He squirmed, wrapping his arms around Remus’ neck in an attempt to stop him from tickling his neck with his mustache.

Remus let out a long breath Virgil curled across his lap, hands wrapped around his neck. “I thought I was alone in the world and then I suddenly had a friend who was willing to swim to the bottom of the harbor to dig up the best worms or see how far we could swim under the ice. It was like goddamn magic.”

Virgil smiled, reaching a hand up to run his hand through Remus’ dark curls. “That's really sweet, Re.”

“It was easily the best thing to happen in my life until I met you.” Remus purred, grin widening as heat rushed to Virgil’s cheeks. ““I can tell this is going to be just as life-changing.”

“I didn’t know you were such a sap, Re.” Virgil dipped his head into Remus' chest, hoping the shadows might hide the bright red flush spreading across his face.

“Can't help it.” Remus smirked. “You’re cute when you blush.”

“Shut up.”

Remus hummed contentedly as Virgil retreated deeper into his chest. He smiled, placing a gentle kiss on Virgil’s temple. “How are you feeling now, stormcloud?”

“Better.” Virgil admitted quietly, realizing he'd lost his nervousness as he listened to Remus.

“Good.” Remus smiled. “You’re going to find your place here, but while you’re figuring it out, you can always fall back on me when everything gets a little too overwhelming.”

“The same goes for myself, Virgil.”

Virgil blinked. He looked up to see Logan lingering next to them, his back to the firelight as he stared down at them.

“If ever you are feeling uncertain or overwhelmed, I hope you know you can seek refuge with myself or Remus.” Logan smiled as he slipped down next to them. “While I hope you do continue to join our family gatherings, there is no pressure to do so all at once. Stepping back when you need to is important for your own well-being and that is always our first priority.”

“Thank you. Both of you.” Virgil whispered, feeling warmth rise in his chest as his soulmates stared down at him with gentleness in his eyes. “Both of you. I-I don’t even know what to say.”

“Then say nothing, love.” Logan whispered with a soft smile as he ran a hand through Virgil’s hair. “Your feelings are shared by us all.”

Virgil nodded quietly, feeling the warmth spread from his chest to the rest his body as Logan rose to his feet and offered him a hand up.

“Now, I do hope you are hungry, because dinner is ready and everyone would like to see more of you.” Logan whispered, intertwining his fingers with Virgil’s. “if you are ready for that, of course.”

“I am.” Virgil’s heart jumped in in chest as his soulmates closed in on his sides. He'd never felt so relaxed they led him back to the campfire.

Roman was the first to look up as they approached. A gentle smile spread across his face as he looked up from the pot. “Sit anywhere you like, Virgil. I'll bring a dish to you.”

“Thank y—”

“No! Sit next to me!”

Virgil smiled as Patton jumped up to clear the spot next to him.

“Patton—There's no need to be so demanding.” Janus chided him softly.

Patton stopped, his small body leaned on the rocks for a moment as he considered Janus' words. After a brief moment, he quickly turned back to Virgil with a wide smile. “Pretty please will you sit with me?”

Virgil smiled at the kid’s enthusiasm, stuffing his hands into his pockets as he dropped down next to the kid. “Well, how can I say no to such a polite request?”

He could see Janus roll his eyes as the kid squealed and scooted over to him. His eyes lingered for a moment as Patton curled his fingers around Virgil’s hand.

“Have you picked a room yet, Vee?” Patton asked, leaning into his shoulder.

Virgil chuckled, as the kid’s eyes sparkled up at him. “Not yet, Pat. I haven’t had a chance to look around yet.”

“I think you should have the room next to mine.” Patton suggested proudly.

“That is certainly an option if you would never like to sleep again, Virgil.”  Janus turned his gaze from the empty air around them back to Virgil with a smirk.

Virgil chuckled as Janus’ sarcasm didn’t seem to register in Patton’s mind as he looked eagerly up at Virgil. “I'm not sure, kiddo. I might have to see a few places first.”

“I can show you tomorrow.” Patton shouted gleefully. “I know all the best ones.”

“Sounds great, Pat.” Virgil smiled quietly. “but I don't think it's up to me if we can do that.”

“That's perfectly fine if that's what you want to do, Virgil.”

Virgil turned up his head, surprised to see Roman above him, hand extended as he offered Virgil a bowl. He hesitantly let go of Patton’s hand to take the bowl of soup from Roman, glancing cautiously at the faces around him.

“Of course, I do think that someone should accompany you both since you are unfamiliar with the tunnels, Virgil,” Roman smiled at his blank expression as he continued. “but I see no reason why that cannot be arranged.”

“I would be more than happy to accompany Virgil and Patton tomorrow.” Logan offered, dropping down next to him as Roman offered him a bowl. “I believe it would be wise anyway to have the input if someone whose familiar with each to point out potential cons as you choose your new living space.”

“Very well, but Patton will be your responsibility, Lo.” Roman continued, absently handing out bowls of food as he went. “It's not fair to place that expectation on Virgil until he’s settled in a bit more, especially when Patton has a habit of wandering off on his own."

“Of course. I do not mind the resp—"

“Really?” Virgil finally sputtered out. “You’re actually going to let me take the kid out tomorrow?”

Roman paused as Virgil’s timid voice broke his concentration and he turned back to face him. Guilt seemed to flash across his face as Virgil stared up at him in disbelief. “Of course, Virgil. Your restrictions have been lifted. We discussed this already.”

“I know—” Virgil whispered quietly, heat rising in his face as all the eyes in the room turned to him.  “I guess I assumed the kid was an exception.”

Roman’s eyes softened as Virgil ducked his head down, running a hand through his hair. “No exceptions, Virgil. You’re part of our family now.”

Virgil’s mouth hung agape as he glanced around the warm expressions of the faces around him. He blinked, absently wrapping an arm around Patton as the kid leaned into his side.

“There are no more tests, love.” Logan whispered, curling an arm around his waist from beside him as he placed a gentle kiss on Virgil’s temple. “You can breathe now.”

Virgil nodded at Logan in apparent shock. He swallowed glancing around at the others as they nodded their own affirmations and turned back to their own conversations, leaving him to ponder the new information. A warmth welled in his chest as he settled in to the subtle contact of Logan and Patton on each side of him and slowly, a smile spread across his face as he brought a spoonful of the savory soup to his lips, listening to the family of selkies as their excited voices filled the air around him.

Somehow the sound of their voices around him wasn't so overwhelming anymore. The feelings of anxiety he'd had seemed to fade to the back of his mind as the hours the night began to pass him by, filled by the sounds of stories of his new family. A warm feeling of gratitude filled his chest that Logan had insisted on him coming out. He relaxed into Logan's shoulder, feeling the warmth of the warmth of the fire as he learned more about the wonderful people who had welcomed him into their home and he was happy.

---

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The Stowaway's Heart

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#sanders sides #sanders sides fic #sanders sides fanfiction #sanders side fic #ts virgil #ts Logan #ts remus #ts logan #intrulogical #dukexiety #analogical #intruanalogical #roceit #The Stowaway's Heart #villain writes

[livingforcoopsandoknutzy]

39? Maybe Remus to Sirius?

Characters belong to our beautiful @lumosinlove

Its fluffy so no trigger warnings besides slight homophobic behavior

"It's okay to cry."

Sirius and Remus had gotten used to the reactions at games by now. It had been seven weeks since they were outed and though it hadn’t been great they’d had to get used to it pretty fast.

   The fans varied, some were supportive but most wore grimaces and glared anytime Sirius did anything. Remus could tell the first few games Sirius was thrown off from the glares and boos. Normally when Sirius scored or did a cool trick the stadium would go wild but now when Sirius scored there were only a few cheers and anyone could tell it had visibly shaken Sirius up. 

   This game however was against the Badgers and almost the entire stadium was decked out in rainbow. It wasn’t just the fans, though they were all waving flags and holding signs that said FOREVER OUR CAPTAIN. The stadium was decorated with flags and every seat was a different color. 

   There were a lot of people in the crowd with makeup that correspond with an LGBTQ+ flag. Remus stood in the box with his mouth hanging open as he took the room in. The boys were still in the locker room getting ready and undoubtedly stressing about the crowds. Remus was almost to the point of dragging Sirius out here just so he could see it NOW even though he was about to be out.

   Moody slapped a hand on Remus’s shoulder and smiled at him, wordlessly pointing across the crowd to a big poster someone was holding. Remus almost burst into tears as he took in the sign. It was a hand-drawn picture of Sirus and him in the car on New Year’s, the colors were rainbow and under it, there were sparkly words that read THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME THE CHANCE TO BE ME.

   Remus laughed as he felt tears spillover. The overwhelming feeling of the support was almost suffocating in a good way. In a great way.

   The girl, by the looks of it about seventeen, who was holding the sign locked eyes with Remus, and a huge smile split across her face. “Thank you!” She shouted which got the attention of the rest of the stands as they had been relatively quiet. Remus wiped his eyes and shook his head.

  “No, thank you. All of you, this means the world to me. To us. I’m excited for Sirius to see it.” He shouted back which made the crowd erupt into screams and chants of ‘Black! Black! Black!’. Remus took in the crown again and smiled before standing up.

  “I’ll be right back.” Remus said to Moody who now had his phone out and was recording the crowd, Moody nodded to him and smiled. 

   Remus walked into the locker room about ten minutes before they were supposed to walk out. James was the first to see him and he frowned deeply at Remus who gave him a confused look. Logan saw him a few seconds later and rushed over. “Quoi? What’s wrong? Pourquoi pleures-tu?” 

   A few others turned around as well and Remus laughed and shook it off, his eyes scanning for Sirius and was slightly confused when he didn’t see him there. “Nothing, I’m fine. Where is Cap?” He asked when he gave up looking.

   The team gestured to his medical room as Sirius came out, his eyes were tired and had dark circles under them. Remus walked up to him and wrapped his arms around his middle before digging his face into Sirius’s chest. Sirius set his stick down against the locker and wrapped his arms around Remus.“Ça va, mon loup?” Sirius asked quietly as he pressed a soft kiss to Remus’s hair.

   Remus nodded and tightened his hold before pulling away and facing the rest of the team. “I know it’s Cap who gives the speeches but I just want to say something really quick before we get out there.” Remus said, his voice softer than normal.

   The team looked at him and took a knee, the way they normally did when Cap was giving them a pep talk or Coach was going over the game plan. Sirius got on his knee and shot Remus a questioning look that Remus answered with a wink.

   “I’m really proud of you guys.” He started, laughing slightly at the way James, Kasey, and Leo perked up. “I know it’s been a lot and it’s been a minute since everything happened but I want to say thank you for being there for us.” He was cut off by a chorus of ‘of course’ that he waved off. “No, it’s not of course because a lot of people wouldn’t have done it so thank you. I’m proud of all of you for standing up for us and for showing everyone that it’s not a big deal.” Remus cut off and shook a pointed look at Logan.

   “I’m proud of you for sticking with your teammates and respecting what and who they are. I’m really proud of you, Logan. I’m proud of you for sticking up for Sirius when all the interviews and people were awful right after everything happened, I know it’s hard for you to talk about so I’m proud of you.” Logan huffed, his eyes watering as he leaned against Leo, his hand reaching for Finn’s.

   Remus cursed when he felt his own eyes water and took a second to stare at the light above him. He shuddered and turned back to the team. “Anyway, I’m just really proud of you all and I wanted to say that before I go out there. It was worth it.” He added and smiled when everyone cheered.

   “Damn you, Loops. No one wants to see us crying before a game.” Kasey said, his hand wiping his suspiciously watery eyes. Remus laughed and turned as he felt an arm snake around his middle. 

   Sirius dug his face into Remus’s neck and Remus turned slightly so he could put a hand to the back of his neck. “You okay, baby?” He asked softly, dropping a kiss to Sirius’s dark curls. “Je t'aime tellement, mon loup. So much.” He added again softly and Remus laughed, his nose buried into Sirius’s dark locks. “I love you too.” 

   They stayed like that until Coach came in and told them all to get out there. Remus rushed out, intent on seeing everyone’s faces as they saw the crowds.

   They came out one at a time and Remus watched with watery eyes as the cubs came out. Leo had come out and a proud smile blossomed on his face as soon as he took in the room. Finn had taken one look and started screaming which in turn got the audience screaming as well. Logan had stopped as soon as he saw the first flag only to keep going to see more. His hands were brought to his gaping mouth as he stared in wonder. The rest of them came out in cheers and screams, all of their faces struck with disbelief. 

   Finally, it was Sirius’s turn to come out. Remus watched as Sirius readied himself for the crowd and threw on his carefully careless expression. It took Sirius a minute to actually take in his surroundings when he stepped out.

   Remus watched as Sirius’s eyes darted around in wonder and disbelief as chants of ‘Black!’ and ‘Coops!’ (whatever that was) rang throughout the rink. Sirius watched for a second before covering his face with his hands, his body shaking slightly. 

   He was crying.

   Or at least trying not to. James, Dumo, and the Cubs were on him in a hug in seconds as the screams continued to ring out. A few minutes later, Sirius made his way to where Remus was leaning against the bar that separated them.

   Sirius threw his arms around Remus and hugged him tightly, lifting Remus from the ground easily. Remus wrapped his arms around Sirius’s neck and when he was sat down Sirius dug his face in Remus’s neck again.

   Sirius was shaking and his eyes were red and shiny full of unshed tears. “It’s okay to cry. Heaven knows I did.” Remus said softly. He felt Sirius’s arms tighten around him and they stayed like that, clinging to each other, feeling the emotional support that weighed heavy in the room.

   “Do you see it? Look at that. They love us, they support us.” Sirius said in an incredulous tone as he pulled away to stare at Remus with the brightest smile Remus had seen since the pictures got out.

   Remus rested his head against Sirius’s and smiled stupidly. “I see it, baby. It’s about time for them to get their heads out of their asses.” Remus said, his laughter bright as they continued to cling to each other.

   They pulled away when James pulled up next to them. “Damn Loops, no wonder you were crying earlier.” Remus laughed and wiped the wetness from his cheeks while pushing Sirius and James backward. 

   “As much as I love this, you really do have a game so get out there and win for us.” James smiled widely and saluted before skating back on the ice. Sirius walked forward again and met Remus in a kiss before pulling away and resting their foreheads together once more. 

   “This one’s for you, mon loup.” Sirius said quietly, bringing his head away to kiss Remus’s forehead. Remus laughed and shook his head. “Go get ‘em, tiger.” 

#coops #remus lupin #sirius black #fanfics for a fanfic #lumosinlove

[5-falsehoods-phonated]

(Prompts with boxes have been taken, highlighted have been written)

Requests for this card are closed, thank you to anyone who sent in requests! If you don’t want to see these you can block the tag #false bthb. As always shoot me an ask if you wanna be tagged in future stories, whether it be for bad things happen bingo or any of the other series, one shots or in general!

I’ve been picking at this particular request since early December as the person who requested it had a lot of details they wanted put in making the writing process a bit more challenging. As a disclaimer, note that the chapter is split between present time and the past; with Logan recalling things in his past in an attempt to make the details requested for the story flow better. I received this request from AO3.

General taglist: @im-an-anxious-wreck

Experimental Socialization

Summary: Logan was raised by the government to be nothing more than an experiment and a weapon, utilizing his unique abilities as a mutant. When he finally escapes things are much different than he imagined they’d be but thankfully finds others like him willing to help guide him right where he needs to be.(Happy Ending)

Warnings: allusions to abuse, physical punishment and human experimentation, tw for weapons and fire, panic attack. If there are more please let me know

Prompt; Not Used To Freedom (requested by AngstyEmoGal on AO3)

Ships: Intrulogical, Logan x Remus

WC: 3432

“You just gotta breathe, Logan. In four, hold seven, out eight remember? You’re doing great, just keep going.”

Logan felt himself slowly coming back to reality as his breathing evening out, the raw panic that had gripped his chest easing slightly as Virgili continued coaxing him through the exercise. He felt the other slowly rub up and down his arm in a slow, steady beat that helped ground him further in reality and he smiled up at his friend gratefully and nodded to let xem know he was okay. Gripping his knees as Virgil’s voice trailed off he squeezed his eyes shut tightly and let out one last calming breath.

“Thank you, Virgil. I-” He struggled to find words, gesturing flippantly in the air making Virgil grin.

“It’s okay. Take your time, L.”

Logan puffed his cheeks out in frustration, thoughts swirling too quickly for him to comprehend anything but the apprehensive fear he held for the plans Remus had made for them later that evening. “I am- not used to being outside. Given my history and the threat I pose as a potential compromise to our place of hiding I fail to understand Remus’ reasoning for going out when we could just as easily celebrate our relationship here.”

“Hm.” Virgil leaned back on xyr hands and looked up at the low ceiling of their underground paradise. “Can’t really see the stars from here, no matter how many stickers Princey finds and puts up it can't really be compared to the real thing.”

Logan had made the mistake of going on a tirade of space facts a few months into his stay in the hideout, Remus patiently listening to the extensive infodump of constellation facts and space physics and planetary rotation. Having a limited amount of books to entertain oneself with for extended periods of time meant memorizing entire books on one subject, which Logan had used all too happily as a figurative escape from his situation in the past until he had actually managed to escape when he was 16. Hearing Logan speak so passionately about the subject had apparently made his mind up that he was taking Logan outside for their first “official” date to view the stars, which had then landed Logan in his current state of panic as he realized that date was today and he was decidedly not ready for what might lay in store outside of safety of the hideout.

“I can stay close by if you want. I won’t spy or anything and Remus won’t have to know.” Logan looked over as his thoughts were interrupted by the offer, Virgil turning invisible and reappearing a couple seconds later to emphasize xyr point. Smiling Logan shook his head, knowing the other derived as much joy from going outside as Logan felt about going himself.

“Thank you for the offer though, you’re very kind.” Letting his thoughts drift again he idly wondered when Virgil had discovered xe could disappear and reappear at will and if xyr parents had tried to hide it before the government had found out. His own parents-

-----

“Logan?” A very small Logan turned at his mother’s voice, losing his concentration which made the hidden jar of Crofters fall from its suspended place in the air and smash to the floor. His parents hadn’t known he possessed any sort of powers, and even as small as he was he still understood the position he’d put them in if they ever found out. Fearfully his hands dropped to his sides as his mother covered her mouth in shock, tears rolling down her cheeks as she took a step back.

Men in suits and long coats were there just a few hours later, speaking in hushed voices while both of his parents cried and he was ushered out the door and into an unmarked car, quiet as he understood yelling and crying would do him no good now. What’s done was done, all he could do was be compliant and hope to be treated gently.

-----

The room suddenly brightening with a flickering light brought him back out of his thoughts, Roman entering with his signature bright flame held proudly in his hand. The image of him in his rather scrapped together Princely outfit posing subconsciously in the doorway was almost enough to make Logan roll his eyes but he didn’t want Virgil to think it was because of xem so he managed to restrain himself.

“My dearest brother has been pacing in the same spot for two hours now and I haven't been able to calm him down soooo I thought to check on our resident nerd.” Roman declared with his usual flare. Logan actually did roll his eyes this time but Virgil did as well so he figured it was fine.

“The ‘resident nerd’ is doing fine, Roman. Though it's concerning to hear Remus is nervous as well considering he’s the one who suggested the date.”

Roman waved his hand at Logan dismissively. “He’s just a sap- moreso than me surprisingly. He doesn’t want to do anything to put you in danger but he wants to do something nice, so he’s worried that’s all. Remus is an idiot but I trust him with my life; believe me when I say you have nothing to worry about except his terrible sense of humor.”

Logan merely hummed in response, staring at the way the flame moved around as Roman gestured with his words.

-----

He panted as he rolled out of the way of another flamethrower, singeing the tips of his hair in the process but he couldn’t afford to slow down enough to worry about that. Years of training with different fighting styles had earned him incredibly fast reflexes but a good portion of his accuracy in knowing where to step and when was owed to him working even harder to focus his powers. Thoughts from others constantly surrounded him on a regular basis, getting more and more prevalent the older he grew. Learning to block out the constant string of stimuli was a useful skill to keep him sane but learning to hone in on specific thoughts to predict actions was what had kept him alive.

He ducked below another bullet and brought up his leg in the same motion, kicking a throwing knife to the side and sending it to clatter harmlessly between one of his assailants feet. A twirl to the side and a tilt of the head let another bought of flame boil the air beside him while another knife just barely brushed his ear. The constant bang of bullets and roar of flames and whistling of knives was overwhelming and made the air so thick he could barely draw a breath and it was becoming a struggle to concentrate the way he needed to and-

A high pitched alarm sounded one, twice, three times- a blaring flash accompanying it that left him blinking painfully. His shoulders slumped as the barrage finally ended, another successful training day completed. He watched as everyone began putting their weapons away, laughing and congratulating each other, clapping themselves on the back and discussing whatever they had planned after this. No one even spared the thing they had been firing at seconds before a spare glance, save for the director of the branch, who took long steps forward to stand in front of him only to snap his fingers and motion forward no doubt to see him back to his room until dinner. Absorbing the sounds around him he drank in as much praise as he could that wasn’t his and would never be for him; people rarely congratulated weapons after all.

-----

“Is this where we all decided to hide today?” Logan looked up to see Patton sitting cross legged on one one of the beams in the ceiling, grinning happily down at them even as their fluffy ears twitched nervously and even fluffier tail whipped back and forth in agitation. They must have come back from trying to calm Remus as well, Logan mused; Patton had never done well being in the same room as Remus who tended to voice his thoughts abruptly and without much care to how they might sound to others which always managed to set Patton on edge no matter how hard they tried not to show it.

Patton was a rare mutant in that as opposed to being born with abnormal traits or abilities they had been a science experiment from the start- an effort to create super soldiers rather than stealing them away from families and training them. Even rarer was the fact that the DNA splicing had taken extraordinarily well by pure chance as Patton was born with a mutation that left their DNA incredibly malleable- a mutation that never would have been discovered had cellular manipulation not been the reason for them being in the experimental branch that they were. They had tried cloning Patton at first to see if their power could be duplicated but when that failed to work they began trying to combine them with different animals to see if desirable traits would come forward. By manipulating them on a physical and anatomical level they were able to change some parts of them to be more cat like, intending, Patton had guessed, to turn them into a kind of stealth soldier but they got away before they completed it, leaving them with heightened agility and surgically coaxed cat ears and a tail. They were only a child when the lab had done this but somehow they were never bitter, simply preferring to leave their past alone and embrace whatever future they could make- a trait Logan greatly admired them for even if their unending optimism could be somewhat grating at times.

“Did Janus brush your tail out Pat? It looks fluffier today.” Patton preened at Virgil's compliment, their tail beginning to wave in a more relaxed manner as their mind was distracted from whatever it was Remus had been ranting about.

“He did! He found a cat brush and got it for me so I could finally get the undercoat out!” Jumping down and landing lightly on their feet they posed a little and flashed another wide grin.

“Beautiful as always, Patton.” Roman said genuinely as he lowered his hand into a barrel to light up the paper scraps and wood in it for the night, the dim sunlight that had filtered through the grated having long since died. The home was a modified branch of a sewer system, thankfully the part most removed from the city where it flowed without the stench and was sealed off inconspicuously enough that in the ten years Janus and Remus had been using it no worker had ever found it.

-----

It had been Janus and Remus who had found him, beaten and bloody from an escape attempt he had made just days before his real one. He had made a weak attempt to coax the scientists into a false sense of security, holding back the full scoop of his powers during training for a year in anticipation for his final escape. He had punished severely but had simply thrown him in his regular cell, assuming he wasn’t strong enough to do any more damage than they had seen him do already and trusting that they had beaten him down enough that it would be a while before he tried again- if he ever did. Not six days later the mangled metal of the front of his cell was tossed into a group of guards, walls torn apart in a straight line to the exit and the huge buzzing gates leading to the outside world thrown open wide and stuck there with varying amounts of heavy debris.

The outside world, as it turns out, was a lot bigger and louder and downright terrifying when you weren’t being sent out as a personal assassin or field missions or training sessions- all controlled on some level to keep him from being killed and compromised. Without the begrudged protection from the labs and moreover having to hide from said lab was another story entirely. The times they searched for him and how closely they came to his spots were random and made it incredibly hard for him to pick out their thoughts from anyone else’s in the city and figure out how close they were. On more than one occasion they passed right by him crouched under piles of garbage or laying low under a hedge, his breath held as he tried desperately to keep himself as still and quiet as possible, thoughts of what they would to him once they found him pounding against his head and making him squeeze his eyes shut to keep his terrified tears from falling.

That was how Remus had found him. It had been dark and hours had passed since the searchers had left that park he had been hiding in. He had still been hiccuping down his sobs as he rolled out from under the hedge that he hadn’t bothered to scope the area for anyone’s close by thoughts, having shut out as much as he could after they had left to try and block out any other hate fueled thoughts that may send him spiraling again. His heart had leapt in his throat so high his breath caught painfully, immediately shifting to offense as he tensed, ready to fight as long and hard as he could. He couldn’t go back- he wouldn’t. No matter what they did or promised him or punished him with; he’d go down fighting or not at all.

But Remus had only raised his hands in the air in a motion of peace, eyes widening as he locked onto the government issued bracelet that marked him as an experimental mutant. He had grinned impossibly wide then Logan remembered, briefly disappearing from his sight and reappearing a moment later, setting him even more on edge but curious nonetheless.

“I’m like you.” Remus had said quietly. “Basically I run real fast and the government hasn’t figured out how to get me yet.”

Logan had watched as he jiggled his wrists a bit for emphasis, bare save for colored chords that he assumed didn’t associate him with any government branch since they didn’t look official.

“Are you okay?” Remus had asked next and mutely Logan nodded, unsure of how to react to this fellow mutant who had never been caught by any sort of lab, apparently living as free as one could when you were as different as they were. He stepped back as another man appeared behind him, Janus he later learned.

“Liar.” Janus had hissed, making Remus reach around and smack the back of his head.

“It was a polite thing to ask that he tried to dismiss Jan. Let the adults speak for a second.”

Logan had noted the faint pout on Janus’ face though he was still trying very hard to look intimidating. And then all at once his eyes had turned cold as his attention was once again focused on Logan, glaring menacingly from beneath a black bowler hat. “I’m younger than you and yet I’m the one that has to put my foot down. He’s being chased clearly; we are not bringing him back with us.”

Remus has turned, Logan seemingly forgotten for the moment. “That’s not how it works! He needs help and we’re not leaving him to starve or be found in the middle of a park! What would Patton say?”

“Patton is a soft fool who needs to figure out where their morals stand. I myself am choosing not to compromise our place of hiding and three other people that you know those power hungry idiots would love nothing more than to get their hands on!”

Remus rolled his eyes so hard his head had lolled with it, face going pale as he watched something in the sky. It was then that Logan heard the telling sound of a helicopter flying low and getting closer but he had barely tensed before he found himself gripped around the middle and held vertically with the ground flying underneath him. They stopped abruptly and he was set down, blinking in rapid confusion as Remus grinned sheepishly at him.

“Welcome to the hideout?”

Logan’s eyes had widened and his breath had caught yet again, chest tightening as he shook his head vehemently. “You can’t- I need to go back! They’ll do anything to get me back-!”

He was stopped from going forward with a finger to his chest, his blue eyes locking with beautiful brown as Remus held his gaze. “And we will do everything to keep you safe.”

Safe. With that one word Logan was his. He hadn’t known why and he still didn’t quite understand it but he had trusted Remus with everything he had- and he still did. Even as Janus had stalked off grumbling and Virgil and Roman had kept their distance at first Remus had kept him close and showed him how much better his life could be, even if they were living in a modified sewer system.

Back in the present he looked up as a hand was thrust under his chin, smiling softly as he took Remus’ hand and let himself be led away from the others’ idle chatter. He counted himself extremely lucky in the end that Janus had eventually come around to him, seeing how happy he made Remus and how Remus made Logan feel it had been him to finally talk to Logan about it and get the two to officially talk about how they felt, going on about the being “hopeless gay idiots” when they had finally started to date officially. Logan wasn’t sure what he’d do without Remus at this point, just a year later and he was so attached to their small group of hideaways he wouldn’t trade for the world.

They approached the exit to the sewers, Remus swinging their hands between them. Logan held his breath right before they crossed the threshold, closing his eyes and letting it out slowly as his feet met grass and he opened his eyes to the darkened field. There were a few tunnels that lead out to different places depending on where they needed to go and this, Remus had told him, was his favorite because of how empty it was. The city lay far in the distance so there was almost no light pollution to block out the sky. Soft grass and flowers brushed his ankles as he scanned the area carefully, seeing nothing but trees lining the far end of the field with a road so far away he could barely, make it out in the darkness. Remus tugged his hand softly to get his attention, searching his eyes for any hint of discomfort.

“Is this okay?’

Logan took another breath and let it out, the last of his nerves fading away as he took in the quiet. “It’s perfect Remus.”

The other grinned and tugged a little harder this time, walking fast to the middle of the field where he stopped suddenly and raised Logan’s arm up to lead him into an impromptu twirl. Logan laughed quietly and then louder as he was dipped, secure in Remus’ strong hold as he reached up to grip the back of his neck. He was safe. He was free and safe and happy finally with someone who truly loved and cared for him. His breath caught in his throat again but this time in awe, Remus chuckling as he was laid down carefully tucked into his side, till with his arms around his neck.

The stars shone bright and winked lazily while swirls of color dusted faintly behind them. The moon was waning, a barely there light that let the beauty behind it show fully as the wind whisked away any clouds that dared to try and cover it. It was everything Logan had ever hoped it would be and more, excitement thrumming through him as he squeezed Remus tightly in an attempt to convey it. He felt Remus grin against his scalp where his face was buried in his hair.

“It’s beautiful isn't it?”

Logan looked back at him, light from the stars reflected in his eyes and wild brown hair framing his face. He leaned up slightly and kissed him, a faint brush of their lips that left them both grinning like the idiots they were. Placing a hand on Remus’ cheek Logan smiled at him, thumb brushing over his cheek in adoration.

“Absolutely stunning.”

This work and others are also available on AO3!

If you like this, please consider reblogging, as sharing a creator’s work is very encouraging to us and helps our creations reach more people!

#false writes #false bthb #bthb #bad things happen bingo #prompt not used to freedom #bthb not used to freedom #not used to freedom #tw weapon #tw human experiment #tw physical abuse #tw abuse manetion #tw panic attack #tw fire #intrulogical #logan x remus #remus sanders #logan sanders #logan sanders x remus sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #janus sanders #tw violence #tw confinement #sanders sides fic #ao3

[greenninjagal-blog]

Trouble

Hi yeah its me, and look I’m already back with a new fic for the new year :D cherish this moment I don’t think i will have have this turn around so quick again. For the TSS Fanworks Secret Santa Exchange because I was a pinch hitter :DD @nerdywriterhaven I hope you enjoy!

Summary: Patton has a thing about boardgames and Virgil has a thing about Logan. Together they figure it out. 

Word Count: 7900

Quick Taglist: @alias290​ @chelsvans​ @coyboi300​ @dante-reblogs @dwbh888​ @glitchybina​ @faithfulcat111​ @felicianoromano​ @harrypotternerdprincess @holliberries​ @jemthebookworm​ @killerfangirl3​ @mrbubbajones​  @musical-nerd18​ @nonasficcollection​ @stricken-with-clairvoyancy​ @the-sunshine-dims​ @themagicheartmailman​ @themultishipperchild @thenaiads​ @treasureofpriam​ @vianadraws​ @welovelogansanders​  

Read on Ao3 || My General Writing Masterlist

Patton shows up at Virgil’s dorm room just slightly after six pm on a Tuesday with two thermoses of soup that are still warm to the touch, a halloween tupperware of chocolate chip cookies that had been passed between him and Virgil so many times that Patton really doesn’t remember whose it was originally, his laptop, phone, the chargers for both, and the board game Trouble.

Virgil, predictably, shuts the door in his face the second he sees the game box hidden under all the other things in his arms. Patton also thinks that Virgil tells him to go away, but it’s muddled by the door.

Instead he shuffles all the supplies to his left arm and knee, and knocks again on his door just below the leftover tape from the nametag that his RA keeps putting up and Virgil keeps ripping down because he doesn’t want anyone knowing where he sleeps. His knuckles hum with the rap, datatata dat dat! And he smiles even when there’s the sound of something being thrown at the door from that side.

Patton chooses not to hear it because he’s a good friend and an even more stubborn houseguest.

The door a little bit down the hall opens up with the usual fanfare of someone who is running late to a night class-- which of course is the charm of Roman Prince. He looks nice, as usual, and Patton even thinks that if he hadn’t been wearing two different colored shoes, no one would even know that he had probably just woken up from a nap. The music of his room blares out into the hall with a rap song Patton thinks is Hip With the Kids these days, but Patton himself can’t make out any of the actual words.

All the much better because he’s pretty sure it’s Remus’s music and Remus likes his songs like he likes just about everything else: dirty, scandalous, and offensive. Not that Patton is good friends with either of the Prince siblings, but he’s heard the rumors floating around about both. Roman smiles at him, with glittering white teeth and dimples and soft warm brown eyes that could have been made of melted chocolate.

“Oh! What a spectre!” Roman says, seeming to forget that he’s on the way to a class at the sight of Patton standing at Virgil’s door. “Tell me, angel, what brings a glorious sight such as you to our dorm buildings on this amazing day?”

Virgil’s door swings back open before Patton can answer and Virgil hisses from the darkness, the way he’s usually prone to do whenever Roman or Remus or their blatant disregard for the rules about music volume at two AM is brought up.

He looks not much better from the glimpse Patton got before the door was closed in his face earlier: he’s still pale to the point of looking sickly and dressed in the same clothes as yesterday, with his eye shadow smeared and his hair not brushed at all. There’s a red imprint on the side of his face that Patton thinks matches a crease in his blankets or pillows from where he probably tried to suffocate himself on and off all day between anxiously texting Patton all about “the absolute worst day of my entire life and no I’m not even exaggerating this time Pat”.

“Hi Virgil!” Patton says, as Virgil reaches forward and to take a thermos and the tupperware from his arms and glare unbidenedly at Roman. “I brought dinner!”

“I hate you,” Virgil says, and does not mean because he loves Patton’s Broccoli Cheddar Cheer Up Soup and he’s been in need of cheering up since Patton had seen his messages at noon on his way to his second class of the day.

Roman gasps like he’s offended on behalf of Patton who is not offended as much as endeared to his best friend of several years. “Virgil! How could you act so callus towards a beautiful muse such as this?”

“Get lost, Princey,” Virgil tells him firmly, grumpily, Virgil-ly. “He came here specifically to make a pun about my pain.”

“I do it with love,” Patton adds. “And I brought cookies to make up for it.”

Roman looks like he doesn’t know what to do with that information and Virgil doesn’t give him time to find out because he kinda hates Roman-- although Patton always tells him that “hate” is a strong word and Virgil always says he means it anyway. Patton supposes that if he, too, had hallmates that played music louder than life up to the early hours of the mornings during Finals Week, and then cranked it higher when he knocked on the door to ask them to stop, he might also strongly dislike them.

Virgil ushers Patton into the dark room and then kicks the door closed while Patton is waving goodbye at Roman.

It takes a moment for his eyes to adjust to the light level: Virgil was certainly making use of those thick blackout curtains! It made the whole room look like it was three AM, rather than six PM! There are blobs of stuff all around the room, piles of clothes and blankets that Virgil prefers to have on the floor rather than put somewhere where he’s not going to trip over it in the middle of the night, but Patton supposes that’s just how Virgil’s always been.

“If someone breaks in, they’re gonna trip over this shit and I will be out of here long before they can get back up,” Virgil had said the first time Patton had suggested maybe, possibly cleaning something until they found the floor.

The desk where Virgil did his school work is empty and the textbooks and computer that normally covered it are all on the ground like a massacre from what Patton can make out. Virgil shuffles through the room and ends up turning on the purple lava lamp that Patton got him three years ago so that they could at least see each other and the faux-floor, and even then he doesn’t look happy at needing that much. The elevated bed had the blankets ripped up from it and turned into a nest with Virgil’s phone light peeking out from the depths like some underwater cave with a sea monster in it waiting for an unsuspecting diver.

“Remind me, how you got into this building?” Virgil says, tiredly as he pries open the cookie container. “It requires a key and last time I checked, you don’t have one of those, Pat.”

“As if a key would stop me from checking on you!” Patton replies. He plops himself on a pile of clothes and clears away another spot for Virgil to collapse next to him, so that Virgil can’t exactly escape. “Now, what is this about Logan again? You were being kinda vague and world-ending-y again. ”

Virgil lets out a moan around the cookie he shoved in his mouth and drops to the floor next to Patton, to munch angrily or just upsetly without actually offering an answer, because he’s Virgil and he’s allergic to talking about things that upset him. Patton sets down his other thermos, his laptop, and his own phone to make room for the game between them.

“Must we?” Virgil asks as Patton sets up the board with a practiced hand. Even in the near darkness of the room he knows exactly what he’s doing, and could probably figure it out with no light at all.

“Of course!” Patton says. “You sounded like you were in Trouble.”

“ Sorry to disappoint.”

“It’s rather Risk -y of you to be self deprecating while within hugging distance.”

Virgil doesn’t say anything for a moment, just swallows the bite of his cookie and stares at the colored pieces in front of him. The board game is well worn and well loved-- one of the first ones Patton had ever gotten and one of the first ones he ever convinced Virgil to play with him. Although “convinced” is a strong word for how Patton had just been staring at the board numbly with red rimmed eyes when his father had asked Virgil to come over and try to coax him into eating something, anything, please .

They’d lost three pieces of the red team and one of the yellow and two of the green, but that’s okay because Patton generally played blue and Virgil had custom ordered four purple pieces for just the two of them a few years ago.

Carefully, placatingly, Virgil reaches a hand forward and pops the dice bubble for his number. He gets a four.

Patton gets a five.

“How many times have we played this one, Pat?” Virgil asks, in a voice much softer than before. In the faded purple light and the shadows, it’s hard to see the number on the die, and harder to see exactly what Virgil is thinking about with his eyes hidden like that. His nails are bitten down to the quick, ruining the black nail polish he spent an hour applying last weekend over their shared Biology notes.

Patton shrugs as he reaches forward to take his turn and pops the bubble. Honestly he didn’t think he could calculate the answer if Virgil pressed: this was their go-to game, this was his go-to pun, this is what they did even when the world was falling apart at the seams. It was easier to focus on moving playing pieces a couple pegs than it was to focus on the sound of a heart monitor or raspy breathing or bony pale fingers that shook when they tried to hold anything.

It was easier to find a way to win when the instructions were so clear, and the rules were so fair, and the consequences of losing were just having to put the game back in the box.

Virgil doesn’t say anything more and Patton doesn’t force him to, although he desperately wants to. He wants to reach out and catch Virgil’s hands in his own, he wants to give him a squeeze, he wants to wipe away the tear tracks in his makeup and he wants to tell Virgil that whatever it is, Patton will be there for him.

He wants Virgil to look at a game for once and have fun.

But the only sound in the room is the popper when they roll the die back and forth.

Patton gets the six first. He moves his second leftmost piece to the start and hits it again for a three.

Virgil stares his blue piece on the board for a long moment, without blinking. His hands lie limply in his lap and the tub of cookies sits at his knee. The purple light makes his eyes glisten sweetly, wetly, sadly, with a resignation that Patton knows and wishes he doesn’t. The lump in his throat swells up.

“Virgil?”

Virgil blinks. And then blinks again.

“Why should I even bother at this point?” he asks. He runs a hand up to his hair and tugs at the locks.

“Virgil, this is the opening of the game,” Patton says. “You can’t give up alrea--”

“But it’s not like I’m going to win,” Virgil says and Patton sucks in a breath sharply.

Oh. It was one of those days.

Patton thinks that he should have been expecting this; it had been a decent amount of time since Virgil last had refused to finish a game, and Patton had almost thought that maybe they had kicked those thoughts for good! That through sheer willpower and perseverance and proof to the contrary, they might have managed to rework how Virgil approached a challenge. That at one point Virgil might laugh and smile even when he wasn’t in the lead--

And yet, Patton’s sitting with one piece three spaces ahead of Virgil and Virgil is ready to call it quits. The game had just started. Patton had only been sitting in the room for a total of five minutes. Virgil hadn’t talked for more than a couple sentences.

It’s one of those days, except that Patton doesn’t think that it’s ever been this bad before, because usually they at least made it to the one piece around the board in Trouble , through to one check in Chess , through to one hotel being built in Monopoly , or one train ticket completed in Ticket to Ride .

“This is a sign, isn’t it?” Virgil continues. “I’m just being stupid even considering it. Of course I am. I always am. Nevermind, I don’t want to do this today Pat. Thanks for the soup and the cookies and I’m sorry that I made you walk all the way--”

Patton reaches out and snags Virgil’s arm before he can get all the way off the ground. The board nudges to the side dislodging several pieces into the surrounding void, but Patton thinks that he can replace a hundred playing pieces.

He cannot replace his best friend.

Virgil’s skin is cold, even though the room was comfortably warm, and he’s soft to the touch-- which is never what Patton expects when he gets those lightning quick hugs, when Virgil rests his head on his shoulder during movie nights, when they go shopping and there are crowds that make Virgil want to run for the hills and only Patton’s hand in his keeps him grounded there. Virgil is soft despite the jagged persona he puts on to drive away other people, and he hasn’t gotten any sort of touch in a while because he shuts up the moment that Patton’s own warmth floods over him.

The room holds the silence for an eternity: Virgil frozen halfway up from the ground, and Patton latching on to him like he can pluck all the reasons Virgil is upset out of his mind through osmosis. The lava lamp makes him look unreal, makes the silence ring louder, makes the lump in Patton’s throat grow larger.

“Virgil,” Patton says, “please.”

Please tell me what I can do. Please allow me to help. Please let me in.

“It’s stupid,” Virgil says.

Patton wants to laugh, because nothing that ever hurts Virgil has ever been stupid. “I don’t think so, kiddo.”

Virgil bites his lip and inhales with all of his chest.

“You didn’t go to any classes today. You’ve been crying. You’re still wearing yesterday’s clothes.” Patton says. “Something happened. And it can’t possibly be stupid because nothing that affects you like this is can be anything less than something huge.”

Patton feels Virgil’s hand curl into a fist like he can hide his shaking when Patton is right there .

“Do you remember Logan Ackroyd,” Virgil says. “The senior a year older than us who I had Sociology with last year?”

The same Logan who took extra notes for when Virgil missed class and emailed them to him. The same Logan who offered Virgil a granola bar when he overheard that Virgil had missed lunch. The same Logan who helped Virgil break into the auditorium after school hours to search for his missing earbuds.

The same Logan who has eyes more knowledgeable than the entire galaxy, who wears a tie to class, who smells like coffee beans and pen ink and looks like he’d give really good, safe hugs.

The same Logan who Patton has never once met, but feels like he knows intimately thanks to Virgil’s starstruck rambles.

Logan must be something great and amazing. Patton has known that for a year now, from watching the months slip away and suddenly the ghost of Logan joins them on every outing, summoned by the blush over Virgil’s ears and the soft smile on his lips and the way that Virgil steadfastly won’t meet Patton’s eyes like it will prevent Patton from noticing the way that the senior is always on Virgil’s mind. Logan is kind. Logan is smart. Logan has a new book every day. Logan has a voice like the ocean waves.

Logan, Patton thinks, should have been more careful if he caused Virgil this much distress. Because there are things that Patton would do for Virgil that not even a cold blooded killer would consider doing.

“Yeah,” Patton says, with a smile soft and dumb and innocent. “You guys have Analytical Science together this year, right?”

Virgil lets go of his lip, and breathes out a breath that sounds like more relief than Patton is supposed to hear. “Yeah. Yeah. He, uh… yeah.” Virgil shifts back down, shifts so that he’s on his knees and Patton is right next to him, and they’re still touching and that warmth is stronger than the shadows made by the blobs in the lava lamp.

“Janus… Janus asked him out yesterday,” Virgil says, using his other hand to pluck at a thread in his jeans.

Oh. Patton doesn’t think cookies and soup were enough.

And golly, Patton doesn’t think Logan is as smart as Virgil is always saying he is either, because if he said yes in front of Virgil, he must have been the stupidest person on the planet.

Virgil is quiet, dismissible, a shadow in his own skin even on his best days. But he is not un-noticeable.

He carries an aura around himself that storms and thunders and promises danger to those that get too close. His laughter is a threat first and a comfort second. His smile is a knife blade that even Patton sometimes wonders if he might find in his back one day. Virgil was someone that you noticed and you stayed the fudge away from.

Unless you were Patton, who hadn’t been afraid of Death from the moment he watched his mother cough up blood over the cards to CandyLand, watched his mother turn into a real-life game of Operation, watched her breathing get ragged and her fingers struggle to hold playing cards between them.

Logan hadn’t been scared away by Virgil’s thunder, and somehow he had weathered the storm that Virgil put up to protect himself and lived securely in the eye of the hurricane. And somehow he hadn’t noticed, hadn’t cared, had taken advantage of Virgil’s softening heart just to shatter it.

“He didn’t…” Virgil says. “Janus… he didn’t really mean it. I don’t think. It might have been a joke because they’re friends but Logan told everyone that he would only consider dating someone who could… could…”

“Could what?”

Virgil’s eyes flick down to the Trouble game board, to the pieces lost in chaos of the floor, to the box they hadn’t needed except for transport. Patton feels his heart thud in his chest before he crawls up his throat and he tastes it in his mouth along with the remains of the raw cookie dough he licked off the spoon while cleaning up.

Virgil’s words come back to him in whispers. But it’s not like I’m going to win. This is a sign, isn’t it? I’m just being stupid even considering it.

“Someone who could….” Patton says, “beat him in a boardgame?”

Virgil yanks the thread on his jeans sharply and nods without meeting Patton’s eyes. “I told you it was stupid.”

“Virgil,” Patton says. “This is great! We’ve been playing games together for years! You can beat--”

“That’s the thing!” Virgil says with his shoulders curling up to his ears and burying him in layers of excess fabric. “Pat, I can’t even beat you in a board game and I know all your strategies!”

“I don’t think that Trouble actually has any strategies. It’s really luck of the roll--”

Virgil peeks out of his hood enough to give Patton a miserable glare. “When was the last time I won against you, Pat? Be honest.”

Patton purses his lips. “I don’t think that’s fair, kiddo. I’ve been playing games since I was able to understand the rules--”

“You don’t even remember, do you.”

“It was Dominos and you won by twenty points.”

“Nice try, but you purposely miscounted and you actually won by two.” Virgil reaches out for another cookie and offers it to Patton without making any move to pull his other hand from Patton’s hold.

“You would have a lot more wins if you didn’t insist on not finishing games sometimes!” Patton says. “You never know the ending of a game until you play it out!”

“I could tell you that Logan was going to beat Janus in Chess the moment the opening moves were made,” Virgil counters. “He won in twelve moves and then the next game in six.”

Patton opens his mouth, but Virgil shoves the cookie in before he can actually say anything.

“And God Rest Remy’s soul because Logan obliterated him in Trivia Pursuit.” Virgil continues, “He turned Roman to mincemeat over Scrabble, and not only beat Remus in Poker, but won one hundred dollars off him too. I also watched him win in Othello against some kid he tutored in Calc, a game of Mancala with an art kid who was doing it for clout, and Stratego which he won before I finished reading the fuuuuuudging rules and made his opponent cry over it.”

Patton swallows down a bite of cookie that he didn’t not chew well enough because he feels it tear up his esophagus as it goes. Virgil politely ignores him dying for a second and offers him his own thermos of soup to help it down, before remembering that he’s supposed to be brooding and staring at Patton for too long makes him soft.

“Not to make a pun here, but no dice; I legitimately cannot beat Logan,” Virgil says. “He’s just… so good. At everything. What is the point in humiliating myself with this? Even if I find a game so obscure that he’s never heard of it and doesn’t have a strategy built for it, just going up to him and putting the board between us is like-- that’s telling him that I’ve had this massive stupid crush on him for ages and what if he doesn’t even like me? What if I win and then he has to date me because he said so but he actually hates me? What if--”

Patton coughs so hard he thinks he might have dislodged his own lung, which is fine!! Because at least it got Virgil to snap back to him and table his panicky spiral for later.

“Weren’t you,” Patton croaks, “Weren’t you already going to confess to him? You bought the chocolate kisses and you sent me pictures of them in your bag right before class last week.”

Patton can’t see Virgil’s ears because of his hood but he knows that they’re glowing red from the way that Virgil can’t meet his eyes again.

“I just….I did but then he….” Virgil nudges a pile of questionably clean band t-shirts with his socked foot. “He said he wasn’t interested because class was starting and I still don’t know if he meant an actual kiss or a Hershey kiss because he had to leave class early to pick up his kid brother from his middle school because he was sick with a fever and then I was too mortified to bring it back up-- See Pat, I can’t even come up with a creative way to tell Logan that I wanna listen to him ramble about jellyfish immortality and play with his hair or tell him that I wanna know what the flavor of his chapstick is-- which, by the way, I did say to him and he told me was cake batter and that I could find it at the corner drugstore because he thought I was looking for recommendations-- There is no way to subtly tell him that I want to date him.”

“Then maybe… don’t be subtle?” Patton suggests, and then points at the game between them. “Boardgame?”

Virgil scowls at the game like it had personally offended him. “But I can’t beat him. And if I lose and by some miracle he still wants to be seen with me, then he’d be breaking the very rules he set up and everyone else who lost is going to be pissed at both of us and I can’t do that to Logan.”

Patton bites back the then don’t lose that he wants to say. It seems so obvious to him. He doesn’t really see why Virgil doesn’t think he can win one single game. There isn’t even a rule that says Virgil can’t come back and play again-- which isn’t that the point of games? That you can play them for a little while, pack them up, and then come back to them later? That you sit down with friends-maybe-more and you play and have fun ?

Not for the first time, and not for the last time, Patton wonders why Virgil ever played games with him at all. He knows the first time was pity because he found Patton sitting on the floor of his bedroom with Trouble on the ground in front of him and staring at it numbly because he had cried all the tears out of himself already at the hospital, at the funeral, at the everything that had come after that he couldn’t remember. The first time it had been to get Patton to react because he had been so lost, but every time after that Virgil had made the conscious decision to pick up the pieces.

Even if sometimes he had put them back down halfway through and Patton hadn’t figured out how to convince him that the point isn’t to win as much as it is to have fun.

Virgil twists his wrist loosely in Patton’s grip so that he’s holding Patton back, his cold fingers somehow feeling comforting rather than startling. Patton has always loved that about him, although he’s never sure how that works. The coolness of his touch is familiar, but the vulnerability of Virgil reaching out is something newer, something special, something fragile and Virgil holds onto him like he’s expecting Patton to let go at any moment and Patton steadfastly refuses to let him drift off. Patton squeezes his wrist gently, lightly, softly.

I’m here. I’m not leaving. We’re in this together.

“I think that Logan can make decisions for himself,” Patton says with words so featherlight they barely move the air. “Remember the dominos? Any player can choose to lose, whether it be miscounting or it be refusing to finish the game in the end. But if you never even offer to play with him… Logan can’t make that choice, Virgil.”

Virgil holds his gaze for a moment, two, three, and there’s something in his eyes that shies away from the glow of the light, something slippery and weak and scared. Something that Patton is afraid to put a name to, lest it disappear from him forever.

Something that causes Virgil to squeeze his wrist back.

Together. Us. We’ve got this.

“So what game do you want to play with Logan?” Patton asks. “We can go look at my collection if you want? I loaned out Backgammon to a girl in my Shakespearean class, but other than that I have the usuals with me.”

Virgil takes a deep breath. “Can we…” He says. “Do it tomorrow? I don’t want…” He squeezes Patton’s wrist again and Patton can fill in the rest of the blanks with his own interpretations. He is, after all, fluent in Virgilese, as much as Virgil is fluent in Pattonish.

“Yeah, yeah,” Patton says and shifts through the piles of clothes that act as cushions so he’s right next to Virgil, pressing their shoulders together, leaning his head on Virgil’s collarbone, and reaching around him for another cookie. Virgil moves the tub between them and then pulls the Trouble game board in front of that.

He hesitates for another moment-- they’re missing two of Patton’s blue pieces to the floor, and one of Virgil’s purples to a pile of sweatshirts-- but the fact that Virgil drops forward and presses the bubble to roll the die makes Patton’s chest warm.

He gets a six, and then a four and that thing in his eyes seems to grow just a bit stronger.

That is, of course, when the rap music from next door starts up loud enough to shake the entire room and Patton wonders if Logan would still be up for playing a game with Virgil when he’s incarcerated for second degree murder.

Patton, at least, gets a hug out of it, when he tackles Virgil to the ground before he can get to the door, and he manages to coax Virgil back to their area, back to the floor, back to the game, and then later into the blanket-fort-and-movie-night that they watch with one earbud each and their foreheads pressed together late into the night.

***

Patton’s mother developed lung cancer when he was seven. He remembers it in vague flashes: the blood, the shakiness, her fall to the floor because they had never had any sign of it happening until it was too late to do much about it. He was told it was because his maternal grandparents both smoked a lot when she was growing up and she spent the weekends helping them around the house still.

The doctors said she had a year. She got eighteen months.

He barely remembers her face from his own memories anymore, all of them blurred and twisted by the passage of time that he almost got swept away in entirely. Her picture still hangs around the house, though, and he guesses he’s lucky in that regard. He liked how he could see her every time he passed by the stairs, even after his dad remarried and he had grown up and the telemarketers stopped calling the house to tell her that there was an interesting charge on the credit card she didn’t have anymore.

He still wakes up sometimes with his heart beating in his ears and his eyes blinded with tears and his lungs refusing to cooperate because of nightmares about forgetting her entirely, of seeing her stand up to call out to his dad, of seeing her cough out blood and then fall to the floor right in front of him as his dad is running down the stairs. He still wakes up and feels his heart aching where she might have once been if everything had gone just a little bit different. He still wakes up and wishes that he could go back to sleep because at least in his dreams she’s still there waiting with a deck of cards and a smile that says, “Alright, Buster, don’t think I’m going to go easy on you this time!”  

Usually those types of days he labels as “Bad Ones”, and he finds it harder to crawl from under his blankets to do pretty much anything.

Virgil knows immediately when he sees Patton staring at his black laptop screen that it’s a Bad One.

Patton loves that he knows not to ask, hates that Virgil can read him so easily, wants to cry because it’s been so long and shouldn’t the edges of that pain have gone away by now? He wants to pull Virgil’s purple comforter back over them and drift back off into the blissful warmth while pretending that the idea of a game right now didn’t make his hands shake.

She hadn’t left Patton specifically a lot of things, but the things that she had left him had been boardgames. Things that she had collected over the years and kept on a shelf in the study for them to play after work and school: Candyland, Trouble, Snakes and Ladders. She had a whole shelf for him when he got to an age where he could understand more complex concepts: Ticket to Ride, Pandemic, Mysterium, Star Realms, Settlers of Catan.

After she was gone… Patton had stared at that shelf and wondered if she had ever thought that maybe she wouldn’t get a chance to play some of them with him.

He wonders how many of them he could have beat her at, how many of them she might let him win in, how many of them they would love to play together and how many of them they would both play through once and then wrinkle their noses at because it wasn’t what they thought it was going to be.

He wonders and maybe it’s a bit too much because he’s stomach is rolling nauseously and he thinks that if he has to look at a game he’ll actually throw up this time.

Virgil doesn’t say anything, even as he gets up and Patton remains buried under too many blankets and the alarm on his phone goes off again for his morning class. The darkness is safe and warm and Patton thinks he understands why Virgil likes it so much as he closes his eyes and tries not to think of a woman who is long gone and in the ground.

“Breakfast?” Virgil whispers at some point.

“Cookies,” Patton mumbles back.

Virgil had carted a hand through his curls and then the door to the room had opened closed and locked behind him. Patton thinks that was nice of him-- to lock the door like he was protecting anyone from coming in and stealing his valuables even though Patton was there. Or maybe since Patton was there? Patton presses his head into a pillow that smells vaguely like chocolate cherries and black licorice and other things that screamed Virgil, and thinks that Virgil might consider Patton a valuable that needs to be protected and kept safe.

Sometime later Patton wakes up with Virgil lying beside him, headphones on and typing on his computer with one hand while dragging fingers through Patton’s curls with the other. It’s impressive of him by itself, but not nearly as impressive as the fact that Virgil’s hood is down and the blackout curtains are parted enough to bring in a decent amount of light.

Virgil blinks at him and removes one earmuff. “I read that flowers need sunlight to grow,” he says in lieu of explaining the rays of light cascading into the room over the two of them.

Patton wants to laugh, and thinks he might if it were any other day and not this one. He settles for a somewhat bent smile and Virgil reaches to somewhere he can’t see and brings back a muffin from the Campus Cafe.

“Chocolate Chip,” he says. “Which is like a cookie, but better because it’s a muffin and I said so.”

Patton can’t really tell if the tears that prick in his eyes are from the lingering sadness or the softness of just a simple gesture from his best friend. Maybe it’s both. Maybe it’s neither.

It’s a muffin, not something he should be crying over, and he repeats it even as he takes a bite from the top and Virgil pretends like he doesn’t see Patton scrubbing his cheeks as he chews. It’s a muffin, but Virgil got it just for him and Virgil came right back here and sat with him so he wouldn’t wake up alone and sad and and and--

And if Patton liked anyone romantically like that(™) he thinks he would have fallen straight into love with Virgil.

“Did you miss class?” Patton whispers.

Virgil shrugs. “Nothing important. I sent an email to my teachers saying that I wasn’t feeling too good and didn’t want to risk accidentally spreading anything to anyone, which already helps because I didn’t go to class yesterday and I’ve already turned in all my work for the week for most of my classes. Besides, you were here and I didn’t want to just leave you all alone-- what if Roman started playing his Disney compilations at 160 decibels again?”

“You like Disney, though.”

“I also like my hearing and my best friend,” Virgil says like it’s nothing, like it’s obvious, like it shouldn’t be making Patton tear up again because Virgil is just so nice.

“I’m sorry,” Patton whispers.

Virgil moves his computer and jostles around on the bed until they’re lying side-by-side even though the bed was definitely not made for two persons. He presses his head to Patton’s, and he’s cool and soft and safe.

Together. We got this.

“Your mom?” He asks.

Patton nods, with a lump in his throat that makes all the words he wants to say crumble to ashes on his tongue. “Sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize, Pat,” Virgil says.

“But… Logan…”

“He’s not going anywhere,” Virgil says. “And, full offense, but no boy is going to be more important to me than you regardless of how fuuuuuuunkily hot he is. Funkily, yeah, sure, that’s a word that I definitely was going to say right there.”

Patton feels the laugh build up in his chest, against all the odds in the world, and it tastes like chocolate when it rolls out of his mouth.

Virgil bumps his shoulder, and grins. “Look, I’m trying here. Cursing is in my nature!”

“Thank you,” Patton says. For everything.

“No prob, Bob,” Virgil says. I would do it all all over again and never change a thing.

“I’m not Bob! I’m Pat!”

Virgil’s laugh is like the sun breaking through the clouds after a rainstorm, like a rainbow cascading through the sky, like being caught after a fall. Patton gets the energy to smile back when he hears it and that alone nearly makes him want to cry again.

Patton twists the blanket under him between his fingers and takes a deep breath. “Did you…” He says before pausing to swallow back the taste of his own stomach acids he’s not sure is entirely imaginary. “Did you pick a game? For Logan?”

Virgil’s nose twitches, which means the answer is a sound no. “It’s not that important right now. You’re not feeling up to--”

“ Vir -gil,” Patton says and Virgil’s nose twitches again.

They share a look for another minute, two, three, before Virgil exhales and looks away.

“Fine, fine,” he says. “I didn’t pick out a game yet. I actually saw him in the Cafe earlier with Janus and he waved, though, which was awesome until I waved back and forgot to look where I was going and walked straight into a glass door. At this point it’s going to be a miracle if Logan doesn’t laugh in my face when I ask him to play anything with me.”

“He won’t laugh at you,” Patton says and Virgil slides his arms up and crosses them so he can bury his chin in them like he doesn’t believe Patton at all. “From what you’ve told me, Logan is really nice isn’t he? And the other day didn’t you say that he went on a rant about Pluto being a planet? I think that’s just as silly as you walking into a door.”

Virgil hums to show he’s listening, even if he isn’t taking the words to heart as much as letting them filter through his ears. Patton licks the last of the chocolate muffin from his fingertips and blinks away the urge to hide away from the rest of the world when he spies the box for Trouble on the ground next to Virgil’s desk trash can.

Virgil follows his gaze to the box and he purses his lips, although Patton isn’t sure if its from the fact that he’s remembering that neither of them won last night, or if he’s thinking about odds of beating Logan again or if he, too, is thinking about ghostly fingers trying so hard to move playing pieces that they can no longer touch.

Patton rolls over and stares at Virgil’s ceiling instead, counting his breaths until he feels like the static between his ears isn’t going to overwhelm him.

“What game do you want to play?” Patton asks.

“I won’t win.”

“I didn’t ask what game you wanted to win,” Patton points out. “What game do you want to play against Logan?”

Virgil is quiet, but he sighs so heavily that Patton can see his bangs flutter out of the corner of his eyes.

“This is going to sound stupid,” Virgil says, and again Patton remembers that nothing Virgil ever says has ever once been stupid. “But I don’t want to play against him at all.”

Patton frowns, rolling his head to the side to take in Virgil’s gaze that is already looking at him. His dark eyes are there and the something in them that Patton doesn’t want to put a name to is there again, shining just like the rays of light between Virgil’s blinds.

“I mean I want to play a game with Logan, just not against Logan. It’s stupid, okay? I was just thinking about the cooperative games back at your house that we used to play with your dad and step mom-- you know like the Unlock , Escape-room-in-a-box games? Or maybe Flashpoint? Or Forbidden Island? I was just thinking how shit I am at making my own decisions in Pandemic and Logan is really good at strategy so I bet that working together we’d be able to beat any game.”

Patton breathes deeply, sharply, and tries to ignore the piercing pain in his chest at the mention of the games. Virgil winces like he wants to take the words right back out of the air and hide them somewhere where neither of them have to face them at all.

“I don’t…” Virgil says, “I don’t want to play against him and lose. I’d rather play with him and win. Again: it’s stupid.”

Patton closes his eyes, and sees the shelf his mom left him full of boardgames she picked out long before he was past chewing on building blocks, of him at eleven years old finally getting the courage to drag a kitchen chair to the case and pick out a game while Virgil stood by to make sure he didn’t fall and to remind him that it was okay if he didn’t didn’t feel strong enough to try, of the two of them sitting at the kitchen table with the game directions between them that don’t really make any sense because it there’s no directions on how to attack each other when his dad comes home early and freezes at the sight

He might not remember his mother’s face outside of photographs he doesn’t remember being taken, but he remembers clearly the softness of his father’s expression when he dropped into the seat next to them and asked if they knew how to play this one yet.

“It’s a cooperative game,” his dad said, with a voice shaking and eyes wet. “That means we all work together to get to the goal at the end. Each player is going to have a different superpower-ability-thing that they can do that will make it easier for us to win as a team.”

So no, Patton doesn’t think that it’s stupid at all. It’s hard to do things by themselves, it’s scary, it’s difficult, it’s frustrating. That’s why when Virgil is texting him that the world is ending because of a boy, Patton will always show up at his dorm with soup and cookies and a game for them to play together instead of telling him that he’s being dramatic and silly. That’s why when Patton is missing a woman who hasn’t been in his life for twelve years now, Virgil will always stay with him to remind him that he’s going to get through it, instead of telling him to suck it up.

It’s much easier to win when they’re on the same side.

And Virgil has only ever had fun when playing games that he wins, hasn’t he?

“Why don’t you?” Patton asks suddenly.

Virgil must have nodded off because he jerks suddenly when Patton speaks up, “huh?”

“Why don’t you play a cooperative game?” Patton asks. “What did Logan say specifically about the whole dating thing?”

Virgil rubs an eye and squints at him tiredly. “I told you, he said he would only date someone who beats him at a game. I don’t--”

“Did he say beats him, or beats the game with him?”

“Neither?” Virgil says. “He literally said to Janus very loudly, “I will only consider someone a viable romantic partner if they can win in a game with me.””

“In a game with me,” Patton repeats. “ In a game with me. Not in a game against me!”

It takes Virgil a long, breathless moment to comprehend it, but it’s clear the moment it hits him. Virgil jerks so hard that he tumbles off the bed entirely and to the ground in a fumbling of long limbs, blankets, dubiously cleaned clothes, and his computer-headphones combo. Patton yelps and leans over to check on him but Virgil doesn’t even look like he noticed.

“Holy Shit,” He says, “holy shit, Pat.”

“Language.”

“ HOLY SHIT!” Virgil yells, and then he laughs and covers his mouth like he’s trying to bottle up the sound. “Patton! Patton! He didn’t say against!”

Virgil’s eyes sparkle, the light through the window makes his dark hair shine and just looking at him Patton thinks he’s never once seen him so happy before, so delighted, so excited.

So full of hope.

The next thing he knows is that he’s sitting up and Virgil is wrapped around him in a hug so tight, so soft, so cool and wonderful that those pesky tears come right back to his eyes. Virgil hugs like he’s unafraid of anything for just this endless moment, like he’s never been unsure of physical touch before, like he’s done it a million times before and Patton shouldn’t feel his breath catch in his lungs lest he shatter this dream with an exhale.

He’s standing at the eye of the storm that is Virgil, and he’s never felt so safe before in his life.

“Thank you,” Virgil whispers, “I, uh, I’m sorry for the sudden hug--”

And then, of course, Remus’s music comes back with a vengeance that rattles the ceiling tiles overhead and makes Virgil hiss and break the hug. Patton thinks that he could forgive it, if it weren’t for the unmistakable sound Disney’s Mulan soundtrack also ringing in the air, like it was trying to be heard over the rap music. Dust sprinkles from the tiles overhead.

“I’m going to kill them both,” Virgil vows, but Patton is quicker. He lunges forward before he even knows what he’s doing and coils around Virgil as tightly as he can, and just hugs him, his best friend, the guy who’s always been there for him, and who deserved all the happiness that he could get.

“Pat?” Virgil says.

“If Logan doesn’t treat you right I’m going to make sure no one finds his body,” Patton says.

And Virgil’s laughter makes it sound like he doesn’t quite believe Patton, but that’s okay. Virgil is still looking for reasons to play a game if not to win, and Patton is still trying to find a game that makes him smile, and together they’re going to figure out how to get Virgil to win with Logan.

But for now the hug is good, and the company is nice, and they have the game Trouble packed away ready for the next time they want to play.

#sanders sides #board gaming #platonic moxiety #Analogical #Logan is the hottest side confirmed #Because everyone wants to date him #(Except Pat) #Me the author: what the fuck is hurt comfort #tw: cancer #I just like board games okay #maybe a little too much #I kNew YoU WeRe TrOuBlE WhEn YoU wAlKeD IN #virgil is a disaster gay #Patton really awesome #Hugs? Hugs.

[sidespart]

Sibling Culture

Summary: Younger siblings Patton, Virgil and Roman share some stories about their older siblings Deceit, Logan and Remus. Patton and Virgil’s stories are cute. Roman’s are not.

Warnings: Abuse, Unsympathetic Remus, Non graphic descriptions of abuse, Not great understanding of mental health issues (child POV), authority figures not being very useful, child being exposed to sexual situations (very much not graphic). Ask if you want me to add more. 

Relationships: Gen, but a bit of pre-relationship moxiety snuck in because I love them

“Hey, how’d you get that scar?”

Despite the warm day, Roman felt cold grip his insides, twisting upwards towards his throat and freezing any denial he could think of until he was startled by a laugh from Patton.

“Oh! It was Dee’s fault.”

Wincing, Roman twisted himself so he could see the other two properly. Patton was still sprawled out on the grass next to him, but Virgil had sat up. He was hunched over, peering at Patton’s leg. When he saw Roman carefully sit up to join him he pointed at a faded sliver of a scar, just above Patton’s left knee.

“What did he DO?” Virgil face had shifted into a scowl at the mention his ‘arch enemy’ but that faded quickly as Patton started giggling.

“It was when I was …four? I think? He convinced me the Easter Bunny didn’t come to our house because the Easter Fox lived in our yard. I had to go out and patrol the yard, make sure it was safe, or I wouldn’t get any candy that year.”

-It said something about years of friendship with both Patton and Devin Sanders that neither Roman or Virgil thought to question that logic-

“Anyway he let me stomp around there for ever and then he jumped out in this fox mask to scare me!”

“This kind’ve thing is why he’s a dick” Virgil muttered. His hand, Roman noticed, was still on Patton’s leg, thumb swiping idly over the scar.

“He was nine, Vee” Patton said reprovingly, although he didn’t actually deny the comment, “anyway, he didn’t know I’d snuck a knife from the dishwasher-

“You WHAT?-”

“A KNIFE?-”

“-there was candy AND a bunnys life a stake, guys I was taking it seriously!” Patton’s eyes were sparkling with laughter at the twin looks of horror on his friends faces. “Anyway, he startled me so bad that of course I dropped it right away – sliced my knee up as it fell.”

“oh my God” Virgil groaned finally relinquishing Patton’s leg so he could bury his face in his hands. “That could have been so bad Pat.”

“what did Devin do?” Roman asked quietly.

“oh, he freaked – Virgil will you come out of there I’m fine – yelled so loud both our parents came running. Then, once I was all bandaged up, he tried to convince them I fell off a skateboard.”

That was enough to make Virgil peak through his fingers, a frown on his face “Did you ever even own a skateboard?”

Patton shifted himself so he was sitting up as well, an extremely solemn look on his face.

“We did not.”

There was a brief, pregnant pause before all three of them cracked up, their laughter echoing across Vigil’s yard.

“Older brothers are the worst.” Virgil pronounced. Despite the heat of the day he was still wearing his thick hoodie over a t-shirt and jeans, but now he started pushing up his right sleeve “Did I ever tell you about the time Logan threw me out of the tree house?”

“He what??!” Roman yelped.

“He would NEVER!” Patton gasped.

“He did” Virgil held his right arm up, revealing a long puckered line that ran from his mid forearm across his elbow. “It was before either of you moved here, I had a cast and everything”

All three of them took a moment to admire Virgil’s scar, much more raised and defined than Patton’s, before Roman asked the question they were no doubt all thinking:

“What colour was your cast?”

“Purple.”

“Nice.”

“Did Logan really push you Virgil?” Roman had to do his absolute best not to laugh at the pout that appeared on Virgil’s face when he took in Patton’s heartbroken expression.

Logan McAlister, was four years older than the three friends and Patton had fixated on him the moment they’d met. Roman has spent years watching Patton go from hero worship to puppy love to full blown crush all while Virgil stomped along next to him like a gloomy, jealous, storm cloud.

Not that Virgil would ever admit that it was jealousy making him snap and snarl at his brother whenever his friends came around…but their relationship certainly seemed to become more civil once Patton had gotten over his crush.

Roman couldn’t really blame Patton either. Virgil had never said anything and Logan…Logan was cool.

“He built a plane.” Virgil muttered eventually, shoving his sleeve back into place. “or a glider or…something. A box with a sheet stuck too it anyway. We both sat in it and he pushed us out of there.” He pointed towards the somewhat dilapidated tree house nestled in the tallest tree in the yard.

Roman let out a low whistle. Now that the three of them were quickly approaching seventeen they had physically, if not mentally, started to outgrow the tree house. Which meant it was no longer useful for much beyond lying down almost on top of each other during study sessions or lazy afternoon naps. When Roman had first met Virgil at age ten however it had seemed enormous. And very high up. It would have seemed even higher whenever the Ill-fated glider attempt had happened.

‘Were you scared?” he asked, watching Virgil carefully, but the other boy just shrugged.

“I don’t remember much to be honest. We were both pretty small.” He grinned. “I just remember afterwards. Logan kept coming into my room to sneak me chips and read his Physics text book to me”

“Aww! That so sweet!”

“Such a nerd.”

“Yeah.” Virgil ducked his head a little, apparently agreeing with both statements. He plucked a few strands of grass from the lawn, twisting them between his fingers.

Roman glanced at Patton, concerned. They both knew Virgil missed his brother, away at college and not due for a visit for at least a month. They also knew that asking him directly about it was a guaranteed way to get the emo to tense up.

Just as Roman was debating launching himself into a rendition of Black Parade as a distraction Virgil rolled his shoulders a looked up at him.

“Your turn.”

That cold grip he’d felt when he thought Virgil had noticed one of his scars was suddenly back ten fold.

“Oh…”

That made sense. Patton had shared a dumb sibling story. Then Virgil. Now it was his turn. It was only fair.

“Well…”

Roman was suddenly finding it quite difficult to breath. And to think. What was he supposed to tell them?

“I…”

He sat frozen. While two expectant faces stared at him, he racked his brain for a story to tell.

  -

When they’re seven Roman draws out his first story. Crude renderings of superheroes and scientists and scientist-superheroes in the rainforest. it’s boring Remus complains when he sees it. You’re boring Ro’. Make them fight! No - make ‘em smash that guys head in!

No! Roman shouts and Remus scowls. Grabs at the craft scissors lying on the table and jumps towards Roman; trying to both rip the paper out of his hands and cut it to pieces at the same time whilst Roman screams and screams.

Later, their mother gently cleans the tiny scratches on Romans hand whilst Remus sulks at the table. He started it Remus mutters and Roman feels his mothers arms tighten around him. Protective.

 - 

When they’re nine they get taken on a trip to the public pool in the next town. This pool is bigger than their local one with slides and pool toys and jets. The two of them spend a happy hour chasing each other with pool noodles and racing each other in the water. And then Remus pushes Romans head underwater and holds him down until his lungs are burning so badly he opens his mouth. He spends their last precious minutes of the trip hacking and spluttering. Clinging to the pools edge with his brothers laughter ringing in his ears.

 -

When they’re eleven Remus sneaks into his room at night with their fathers laptop tucked securely under his arm. Wakes Roman up by crashing onto the bed next to him and says look what I found!

Roman isn’t really sure what he’s found at first. The sounds off, presumably to avoid alerting their parents in the room next door, the websites unfamiliar – it takes a few seconds for the pulsing blobs to be recognisable as people and when they do YURGHH! Roman shrikes slams the laptop closed whilst Remus howls with laughter what were they doing to that woman?!

what were they – oh my god your such a pussy Roman don’t you know? Let me show you another one-

NO

Roman kicks and punches and shoves trying to get Remus away from him and Remus is laughing laughing laughing until he isn’t. Until their parents are in the room, shouting, trying to separate them and Remus is using the laptop like a bludgeon, slamming the edge into Romans ribs, each hit punctuated with Why! Do! You! Ruin! Everything!

The next day Virgil asks if he wants to come and play in the tree house and Roman says no. He has to be home early. Visitors. Virgil accepts the lie easily and Roman tries not to breath to deeply.

  -

The thing is you cant blame Remus. You’re not allowed. Not really. 

There’s something wrong with him.

What that something is seems to change often depending on which adult you ask. Every few months their parents bring Remus back from a new therapist with a new diagnosis and a new bottle of pills and big grins because THIS time they’re going to fix him.

  -

When they’re twelve Romans mother smiles at him and says Your such a good boy Roman. You keep me going. Their mother doesn’t smile much these days and the sight of it is almost as good as the praise. I know its hard. It must be so frustrating for you.

Last month Remus had convinced an older boy to gift him a box of cigarettes. That morning he’d  found them again and finally tried to smoke them, recruiting a reluctant Roman to keep watch. When he’d gagged on the taste he’d made exaggerated vomiting noises before stuffing the still burning end into Romans palm.

But we’re all in this together. You know?

Roman knows. He wants to help. He decides that unless the injury is bad enough he can’t fix it himself he simply wont tell his parents. He wants to help keep them going.

  -

When they’re thirteen Remus watches some murder mystery show and decides to burn his fingerprints off on the kitchen stove. We should do yours too! Shoving his mangled thumb under Romans nose. The smell makes Roman gag. Remus’ eyes are fever bright. We could be partners in crime!

 -

When they’re fourteen Remus decides he wants white streaks in his hair. And since they’re twins Roman should too. His attempt to bleach Romans hair as he sleeps leads to ruined sheets and a smattering of chemical burns across his neck and shoulders. He tells Patton it was a cooking accident and invests his saved allowance in jackets with high starched collars.

 -

When they’re fifteen he tells someone.

Their school has an assembly. Some outside company performing a play about abusive relationships. The teachers all have their sombre This Is A Serious Topic Don’t You Dare Laugh faces on as the actors work. Roman watches closely, picking up on all the false steps and poorly delivered lines which he would surely have avoided if he was an actor. The story is about a school girl who gets into a relationship with an older man who turns abusive. All throughout the play she drops increasingly massive hints to her friends and family who blithely ignore her until she dies spectacularly and loudly in the final scene.

On one side of Roman, Patton is fully sobbing. On the other Virgil is quite possibly asleep. The actors come out to a smattering of applause (lead overly enthusiastically by Patton) and launch in to a pre-prepared speech. Remember the signs! Tell a parent or teacher if you’re in trouble! If you suspect your friend is in trouble! Abuse can happen to anyone! Abusers can BE anyone!

Huh. Roman thinks afterwards.

He probably doesn’t count if it’s a sibling though.

Remus isn’t a stranger. Like the man in the play. And they’re the same age.

Still.

The next day he feels like he’s in a trance.

He takes his jacket off in his first class. Art. Pat and Virgil aren’t in this class with him. Better that way.

There are bruises on his forearms. Dark splotches which are so so obviously made by fingers.

He waits. One minute. Two.

Roman! His teacher is in front of him, faster than he anticipated, alarmed look on his face. What happened to your arm?

Stay in the trance. No shaking. M-my brother did it. He wanted the TV remote.

A pause that seems to last and hour and then his teachers’ laughing a shaky laugh. Smiles at him exasperated but fond. Roman aren’t you two a little too old to be roughhousing like that?

Right

It doesn’t count.

You can’t be abused by a sibling. A few cuts, bruises, scars – that’s just sibling culture baby. Virgil and Patton have stories too – you don’t see them freezing up. Complaining

Don’t be a pussy Roman.

He puts his jacket back on and keeps it on for the rest of the day.

 -

When they’re sixteen Remus comes home for the weekend, sits at the kitchen table and asks if Roman wants to hang out.

-Remus goes to a special school for behaviourally challenged students and only comes back every other weekend. Their parents cried when he left. Thought they’d failed. Felt devastated. Roman didn’t feel much of anything and wonders if that makes him a bad person-

Remus is calmer these days but Roman still says no. He has plans with his friends. Oh yes. Remus rolls his eyes Paddington Bore and the Virgin.

Roman glares at him. Don’t call them that. Even though that’s basically affectionate, for Remus. And Remus looks at him for a long moment before nodding. Standing up, shoving the table hard into Roman’s hip leaving him gasping in pain.

By the time he’s limped his way to Virgil’s house the sun is high in the sky. Patton suggests lazy nap time in the tree house and just looking at the ladder makes Roman want to vomit.

It’s such a beautiful day Padre he crys, lets lie amongst the wildflowers like the majestic forest nymphs we are.

Its literally just grass Virgil sighs but Patton laughs and Roman lowers himself stiffly down. Carefully keeps the pain out of his face as his hip makes contact with the ground. Turns away from them whilst he grits his teeth through it, ostensibly napping until Virgil says

Hey, how’d you get that scar?

   -

“Roman?”

Virgil and Patton were both staring at him. Shit Roman thought. How long had he been day-dreaming? Day-reminiscing? Day-

“Earth to Roman.” Patton again, there was crinkle of concern between his eyebrows and that wouldn’t do at all.

“Well-“ Roman boomed in his best dramatic bellow, what Virgil call his ‘Prince Roman’ voice: “I am afraid I will have to disappoint you my friends, twins are not bound by your foolish ‘older sibling’ ‘younger sibling’ stereotypes”

“I mean, technically, one of you is the older sibling” Virgil muttered while Patton laughed “you’re seriously telling me neither of you ever did something dumb and got the other one hurt?”

“Virgil Madelaine McAlister-“

“Not my middle name.”

“-I will have you know that I have never done anything dumb. Ever. In my life!” he punctuated that statement with a dramatic point to the heavens. Patton was now laughing hard enough that Roman was fairly sure he should be offended and Virgil was fighting a smirk.

“You really never fight?”

“We’re a united front.” Drop it, drop it please just drop it he chanted internally.

And then, miracle of miracles, Virgil did. Letting himself flop back to the ground with a soft ‘humph’.

“It must be nice to have a twin” Patton said a little wistfully. Careful he arranged himself back on the ground so his head was cushioned on Virgil’s stomach. “you’re basically born with a ready-made friend!”

“And you get to do everything together” Virgil murmured a faint blush on his face and one hand hovering in the vicinity of Patton’s hair. “No one has to get left behind when one goes off to college.”

Roman glanced down at him, worried, but Virgil just met his gaze softly, one side of his mouth pulling up into one of his rare sweet smiles. “You’re so lucky Roman.”

Roman nodded. Ignored the quick flare of pain in his hip as he laid himself back down in the grass. He let out a contented sigh as the warmth of the ground sunk into his bones, soothing the ache

“Very lucky.” He agreed quietly.

#roman sanders #remus sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #unsympathetic remus #creativitwins #angsty not helathy creativitwins #fic #lockdown induced procrastination efforts #moxiety if your squint #like you dont have to squint hard #literaly never written fic before but why not is quarentine rules baby #my fic #sidespart writes

[the-most-slytherin-hufflepuff]

Open your eyes (Chapter 2)

Well... hello. I couldn’t wait (cause im just that impatient) so here’s chapter 2. The credit for the characters goes to the wonderful and amazing @lumosinlove

@waltzintherain this chapter is pretty safe... or is it? Just know that this is not the thing I have been ranting about in your ask box (and would like to formally apologize for scaring you) 

@clearsuitcasecookienerd 

I’m not sure if there’s something triggering in this chapter but I’m including this warning anyway. Just in case

Masterlist

Finn was looking out the window of the library with a weary expression. Leo came up behind him, hugging Finn close to his chest and laying his chin on the shorter man’s shoulder. “What’s bothering you?” His tone was laced with worry. Leo watched Finn’s reflection carefully, trying to understand what had gotten his beloved so worried. He was frustrated when he found nothing there. Finn, for however open he was with his emotions, was almost impossible to read. 

Finn turned his head a little to place a kiss to Leo’s cheek. He looked back out the window with a crease between his brows. “That letter Logan sent. They need help finding Regulus. He said that the prince got kidnapped by a sorcerer.” 

Leo kissed Finn’s temple and stepped away from him. Finn turned to him with a questioning look, arms crossed over his chest. “Don’t worry about it, love.” Leo tucked one of Finn’s red curls behind his ear. “There’s not much you can do right now. Wait till they get here before you start worrying yourself sick.” Leo grabbed one of Finn’s hands in his, forcing the other man to drop his defensive stance. “I know you Finn. Something is bothering you and it isn’t just Logan’s letter.” He touched his forehead to Finn’s gently. ”Tell me. What’s wrong?” 

Finn squeezed his hand once, twice, before answering. “It’s just that.” Finn took a steadying breath. “Logan and Sirius both grew up hearing about the evils of magic and now someone close to them got kidnapped by a sorcerer. Regulus went missing three months ago, the longer they go without knowing where to even start looking the harder he’ll be to find.” Leo kissed Finn’s forehead and hugged him close, placing his chin on top of his fiancé’s auburn curls. Finn sighed softly, burrowing closer to Leo’s chest, the tension bleeding out of his shoulders. “I don’t want you to have to hide a part of yourself around them, love. If anyone can change their mind about magic it’s you.” 

Leo smiled softly at him. “I love you.” He kissed Finn and took his other hand. “Come on. Your friends are arriving soon.” They walked to the entrance of the palace where Lily was already waiting, James at her side, practically bouncing on her feet. 

James smiled when he saw them, laughing when Lily took off running when she saw Remus and two other men enter the courtyard. “Should I be jealous?” He asked her in a loud teasing tone. She didn’t bother answering, too busy tackling Sirius in a hug. When Remus got off of his horse she hugged him tightly. Logan chuckled in amusement, sliding off of his saddle. “I’m really feeling the love over here.” Lily looked up at Logan and gave him a firm hug, whispering something in his ear that made him blush brightly. 

James approached Remus with a grin on his face, hugging him when he was close enough. He made sure no one was paying attention to them before asking quietly. “Do they know?” Remus shook his head lightly and James nodded, smile returning to his face in time for Lily to introduce him to the others. 

“This is James Potter”, she said wrapping a hand around his waist, “and that baby faced sunshine boy is Leo Knut.” The blonde blushed at the comment. 

“Stop teasing my fiancé Lily, it happened one time.” Finn said, laughter and amusement lacing his tone. 

“What happened?” Sirius asked with a confused look. 

There was a beat of silence, there was no way of explaining it without revealing Leo’s magic. “Don’t you dare tell them.” 

Lily was the first to catch on to what he was trying to do, a smirk appearing on her face. “And why shouldn’t I, your highness?” She asked mockingly. 

Leo groaned, hands coming up to cover his face. “You promised you would never mention it again.”

“Fine. We won’t say anything”, she conceded. The rest nodded, while Sirius looked on with an intrigued expression. He let it slide, accepting that he wasn’t going to get answers if Leo didn’t want him to. 

Remus grabbed Sirius’s hand and interlaced their fingers together. The group left the courtyard. Finn, Leo, and Logan going their separate way to one of the gardens. They reached the shadow of an oak tree and sat down, Leo laying his head on Finn’s lap. Logan looked at Leo’s baby blue eyes, “can I ask about the sunshine comment Lily made.” 

Leo made a small noise, hiding his blushing face in Finn’s stomach while the redhead laughed. “No. It’s so embarrassing.” 

“Stop whining Leo, it wasn’t that bad.” 

Leo smacked Finn in the chest playfully. He turned to look at Logan. “It was horrible. This one wouldn’t stop teasing me for days afterwards.” 

Logan raised an eyebrow at Finn. “So you do make a habit of making fun of other people’s misery.” 

The older boy shrugged. “I only make fun of my friends. Especially if they are as cute as this one”, Finn said, poking Leo’s dimpled cheek. Logan pointedly ignored the unknown feeling that settled in his chest. 

“What do you think the others are talking about.” Leo had an idea of what they were discussing, but he wanted to see if the three of them could come up with a way to find Regulus. 

Logan shrugged, a look of worry crossing his features. “Probably about Reg. It’s been so long since he disappeared. Didn’t leave a trace the dogs could track or anything.” The green eyed boy curled into himself a little, resting his chin on his knees. “King Orion says it’s the work of sorcery.” 

Finn’s paused for a second before going back to running his hands through Leo’s curls. “And you agree with him?” 

“I guess. Regulus started acting weird some time before disappearing. His nightmares got so much worse, he became paranoid and then one day it all just stopped. Out of nowhere.” 

That intrigued Leo, though he didn’t show it. “What do you mean stopped?” He kept his tone even. 

“I mean that he started sleeping peacefully. No nightmares, no sleepless nights. At least that’s what Dima told us.” 

Finn looked at Logan. “Isn’t that a good thing?” 

“We thought so. But some time after it all stopped he started acting oddly. He threw weary looks around and distanced himself from everyone. His servant was the only one who could talk to him normally.” By the time Logan finished Leo had gotten a far away look on his face. 

“Well that certainly sounds like sorcery.” Leo turned to meet Logan’s eye. “Maybe someone enchanted him or used a charm to get inside his head.” 

Logan hummed, a furrow appearing between his brows. “Is that even possible.” 

Leo shrugged lightly. “Sure. Though I think it’d be easier to charm an object that he would wear daily. That way the sorcerer only has to cast the spell once.” 

“How do you know so much about this stuff?” Logan asked. 

“I like to read about this kind of thing.” Leo made sure to lock eyes with Logan before saying the next part. “Hufflepuff’s laws on magic are not nearly as strict as Slytherin’s. It’s easier to break and heal enchantments when you know what you’re dealing with.” 

Judging by the tension that seemed to take over the green eyed boy Finn guessed he got what Leo was implying. To his fiancé’s credit he didn’t even blink when Logan’s hand twitched to the pummel of his sword. Leo’s baby blue eyes staring him down, daring Logan to do anything. Logan was the first to look away, body relaxing by a fraction, but it was enough for Finn, he let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. 

Logan took a deep breath before speaking again. “So there’s a chance that Reg was coerced into leaving the palace?” 

Leo took a moment to think the question over. “Not coerced exactly. If my guess is right and the sorcerer used an item of clothing or jewelry to enchant him then”, he waved a hand around, “ then maybe he is under their control. Like a puppet, guided by invisible strings.” 

“That sounds more likely actually.” 

Both boys looked at Finn. “Think about it. His attitude change could be someone else manipulating him. And if the sorcerer was able to get inside his head that would explain why his nightmares stopped.” 

Logan took a second to process what he had just heard. “What about Dima though? Regulus acted normally around them.” 

It was Leo who answered this time. “The mind isn’t that simple. It can’t be explained in black and white. And Dima is Regulu’s servant, I can only expect them to have a relatively close relationship.” At Logan’s nod he continued. “Whether they are friends or something more, Regulus trusts Dima unconditionally. Spells used to manipulate the mind attach themselves to insecurity and fear to twist the way you see reality.” 

“Are you implying Reg doesn’t trust us?” Logan’s voice took on a defensive edge. 

“No. I’m sure he trusts you, the question you should be asking is to what extent that trust goes.” Logan deflated slightly at Leo’s response. “Look, Logan, someone can trust you and still be scared of you. It happens and there’s not much you can do to fix it when you don’t know what's wrong in the first place.” 

Logan ran a hand through his dark curls. “But why would he be scared. We’re his friends. Sirius is his brother.” 

“That means nothing when it comes to fear.” Finn regretted being so blunt when he saw the broken look on Logan’s eyes.

 “Fear isn’t rational. And sure, you are his family, but for the spell to take hold over his mind so quickly there had to be something for it to hold onto. And you said he suffered from nightmares.” Leo kept his tone soft. “Did you ever wonder what they were about?” 

Logan looked down at his lap, all the fight seemed to have drained out of him. “No.” He looked at something over Finn’s shoulder, refusing to meet either of their eyes. “He has been getting them since he was a child. They were just”, he shrugged, “they were another part of Regulus.” 

Leo bolted upright, startling both Finn and Logan. Worried blue eyes met green. “We need to find Sirius. I think”, he bit his lip, thinking the words over, “I think I know what happened. Or at least have an idea of what might have happened.” 

Logan got up, stumbling over his own feet. “Let’s go then.”

“Wait.” Leo grabbed Logan’s arm, the other man looked down at his hand. “I don’t think you’re going to like it very much.” 

Logan stared at Leo, determination burning in his eyes like greek fire. “Do you think it will help get him back?” 

“Yes.” 

“That’s all that matters.” 

Brown eyes watched the interaction carefully. He decided that he would do everything in his power to help Logan. He didn’t know why the broken look in those green eyes hurt so much, but Finn never wanted to see it again. “Let’s go find the others then.” He interlace his fingers with Leo’s, squeezing Logan’s arm reassuringly with his other hand. “We’ll find him, Lo”, a look of determination took over his brown eyes, “I promise.” 

Logan nodded firmly and began walking, Finn and Leo following him out of the garden and into the palace. They decided to start looking for their friends in the library, since that had been the general direction in which they were headed earlier. Leo was the one to break the silence first. “Do you think I should tell Sirius.” 

“About your magic?” Leo nodded in response to Logan’s question. “Only if he asks. If the first thing you say involves the word magic you won’t get through to him. He wants Reg back, but he also thinks magic is the thing that took him away.” They had reached the doors to the library. Logan put his hand on the golden handle. “You’re going to have to ease him into it and hope that his desire to bring his brother back overpowers Orion’s teachings.” 

With that he heaved the heavy wooden doors open. A pair of silver eyes turned to look at them. Sirius gave them a weak smile. “Hey” 

The three of them walked to where he was sitting besides the rest of their friends and an unknown man. “Who is he?” At Logan’s question the man turned to look at him with a bright smile. 

“I’m Thomas.” He shook Logan’s hand. “But my friends call me Talker.” 

Logan leaned in to whisper to Finn. “Talker?” 

“He never shuts up.” Finn whispered back. 

Logan hummed, “Fitting.”

The three sat down at the table. Leo locked eyes with Remus and Lily across the table, a silent conversation passing between them. At Lily’s nod he began to talk. “Logan explained why you came here seeking help.” He turned to look at Sirius. “I may have an idea of what happened.” 

Sirius looked at him, hope shining in his silver irises. “Please explain.” 

“I— we think Regulus may be under someone’s control. An enchantment of sorts that took over his mind.” Remus’s eyes widened at Leo’s words. He stood up abruptly, letting go of Sirius’s hand and walking over to the bookshelf, taking books and parchment rolls out and setting them on the table while Leo continued his explanation. 

“That may be the reason why his nightmares stopped so abruptly. My guess is that someone used an object he wears a lot, most likely jewelry, and enchanted it. That way they would be able to influence his action while he wore it.” 

“He always wears one of our mother’s rings, even when he sleeps. Maybe that’s the enchanted object.” Sirius sighed defeatedly. “That doesn’t help us find him though.” 

“That’s where you’re wrong.” Remus sat back down on his chair and opened one of the parchment rolls. “The mind is complex, it's hard to enchant it and even harder to create a spell that will let you control it for so long.” He was reading down the lines of text frantically. When he didn’t find what he was looking for he moved to another scroll. “Only a highly skilled sorcerer could have done that.”

Lily picked up where Remus left off, explaining in a more calm tone. “Remus is looking through the archives. After the War many of the kingdoms created laws that forced sorcerers to register their magic. That includes what their specialities are, if they are priests for the old gods, things like that. If we can find the most powerful ones we can narrow down our search for Regulus.” She picked up a heavy tome Remus had dumped on the table and passed it to Leo. “We need to know what spell this sorcerer cast so we can break it.” She opened another book that sat in front of her, Leo had started reading the one she slid to him. 

“The mind is strong but once it cracks it’s hard to fix it.” Remus picked up another scroll. “Whoever enchanted Reg is using powerful magic to alter his brain. If the spell hasn’t worn off yet and we have to be the ones to break it his mind will take the worst hit.” 

“He’s going to need someone to help him through it.” Leo finished, focusing on the words he was reading. 

“Exactly.” 

Sirius looked between the three of them, a combination of hope and confusion on his face. “How—”

Remus raised a hand to interrupt the questions he was sure were coming. “Gryffindor has books on magic”, he said pointing at Lily and Leo’s books, “the scrolls are the lists of sorcerers, warlocks, and witches that live in Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Gryffindor.” 

“The queen insists on knowing all magic users that come and go from her lands. Anyone who studied the old religion and became a priest in the last twenty years studied in Ravenclaw at one point or another”, Lily looked up from her book, “the chances of one of them not being here are very low.”

Leo spoke up once she had finished talking. “Lily gave me a book of healing magic.” He stared at Sirius, the same daring look he had given Logan back in the gardens. “I’m a healer.” Leo’s eyes turned a bright shade of gold and a warm calming feeling settled over them. 

Sirius’s eyes became guarded, his hand reaching to the sword at his side. Remus reached over and took it in his, interlacing their fingers and placing a kiss to Sirius’s knuckles. “Leo is the best at healing. Regulus will need magic’s help, Sirius. There’s no way to work around that.” He squeezed Sirius's hand reassuringly. “When we find him, because we will find your brother, he may need someone to help ease him back into a reality where there’s no one speaking into his mind.” 

“The spell holds onto insecurity and fear. He had issues before this happened, the enchantment just added wood to the fire.” Sirius deflated slightly at Leo’s words. 

James spoke up after a moment, eyes wide and staring at a word in one of the scrolls Remus hadn’t looked through yet. “Does the name Bellatrix Lestrange sound familiar to you?” A chorus of no’s answered his question. 

“Bellatrix Lestrange”, he read, “high priestess of the old religion. Witch. Known Family: Druella Black (deceased), Cygnus Black (deceased), Andromeda Black, Narcissa Malfoy, Orion Black, Rodolphus Lestrange (deceased).” 

Sirius stared at James with an unreadable expression. Remus squeezed his hand lightly before speaking up. “That’s our mystery sorceress.” 

“How could you possibly know that.” Sirius flinched at his own aggressive tone. “Sorry”. 

“That’s obvious isn’t it”, Thomas said, ignoring Sirius’s defensiveness. “She has more reason than anyone to despise your father. She was family and King Orion was the leader of the War on magic.” 

“It would make sense if she was born with her magic”, Lily commented. “She probably was the next in line to be Slytherin’s court sorceress. Your father’s war robbed her of her birth right.” 

“And the best way to get back at Orion is attacking his favorite child.” Sirius's voice was devoid of any feeling. “Reg was always father’s perfect little boy. Except for the nightmares, but Orion ignored those.” 

Logan spoke up for the first time since they had sat down. “You said I wasn’t going to like something. You haven’t said what.” 

Leo locked eyes with Lily. Logan didn’t understand what happened in the few seconds they looked at each other, but Lily’s eyes widened. She gave a hesitant nod. “There’s a chance that Regulus has magic.” 

Remus groaned tiredly. “Of course he does. I’m such an idiot.” He rubbed a hand down his face. “How didn’t I notice. The nightmares. The paranoid glances. Warning Sirius before one of the missions his father sent him on just for him to come back injured.” 

Lily stared at Remus, eyes weary. “You’re not suggesting what I think you’re suggesting are you?” Remus nodded defeatedly, head dropping to Sirius’s shoulder. The other man tangled his fingers in his brown hair, eyes unfocused. 

Logan looked between them before speaking. “For the sake of us that have no idea what he is suggesting, explain, please.”

Lily looked around at everyone’s face before her gaze settled on Sirius. “Reg could be a seer. People that can see the future, parts of it anyway. But without training…” she trailed off. 

“What happens”, Sirius’s voice cracked, “what happens without training?” 

“The visions could drive them insane”, Leo answered. 

Remus lifted his head from Sirius’s shoulder, his warm honey colored eyes meeting Sirius’s lost gaze. “This just proves how strong his mind is.” 

“How?” Sirius asked, barely above a whisper. 

“Anyone weaker would have lost their mind years ago”. Leo’s voice was soft. 

Silence fell over them, giving Sirius time to process what had just happened. His entire life had been picked to shreds, making him questioning all of his beliefs. Leo had magic, Lily probably did too. He had lost family somewhere that had kidnapped his brother to get back at his father. His brother may have magic and-. A distressed noise ripped from his lungs before he could push it down. 

Remus held Sirius close as silent tears spilled down his face. He watched Leo’s eyes glow gold before Sirius went limp against him. He hugged him tightly, standing up and carrying him over to one of the dark red sofas and laying him down, draping one of the soft blankets that Finn kept in the library for late night reading over him. He kissed Sirius’s forehead softly, wiping the tear tracks that ran down his flushed face. 

“How long will that spell last”, he asked Leo once he came back to the table and sat down. 

“As long as he needs.” Leo’s kind baby blue eyes looked at the sleeping man. “He needs time to process everything. His mind needs rest.” 

“Thank you, Leo”.

 The man nodded and looked at Logan. “I know where we can find Andromeda. But I’ll need your help.”  

“What?” Logan’s green eyes widened. 

“She lives in Hufflepuff’s countryside. I remember seeing her name years ago in one of the archives.” Finn lit up at Leo’s words.

 “So you know where she lives?” Finn’s enthusiasm made Logan feel a little better. 

“Not exactly.” Leo answered. “I remember the general area but not the exact village. It’ll take at least three days to find her.” 

“Won’t it be faster if we look for where she lives in the archive”, Logan asked. 

“No”, Leo answered simply. “It would take a two and a half day trip to reach the castle and then another three days looking through the archives for her. Not to mention how long it will take to reach the village.” He looked at Finn. “She lives in one of the outlying villages near Gryffindor. It’s a day’s ride away, though we would still have to sleep in the forest for the night.” Both Finn and Logan nodded. If they found Andromeda they would have a chance of finding Regulus and that was better than what they had started with when they arrived at the library. 

“Very well then”, everyone looked at Lily, “we all have our work cut out for us. Remus take Sirius to your mother“, she gave him a sympathetic look, “he needs it. We don’t rest until we find Regulus.” 

“And if we don’t find him?” Logan asked quietly. 

Lily’s emerald green eyes shone with determination. “That’s not an option.”  

*~*~*~*~*

Sirius woke up in an unknown place. He sat up slowly, he could feel a headache starting behind his eyes. He closed his eyes tightly, as the memories of the previous day came crashing down on him like a heavy weight. He opened them slightly when he heard someone come into the room. A woman stepped through the door, she had light brown hair and gentle amber eyes. She seemed familiar, somehow. 

“I’m glad you’re awake”, she sat at his bedside and placed her hand on his cheek, eyes glowing gold. Sirius flinched away from her touch, not used to people using magic on him. “Remus will be glad your up. He has been pacing since he woke up this morning.” She chuckled under her breath, standing up and walking to the door. “Come out whenever you’re ready”, she said before leaving, closing the door gently and leaving him alone. 

Sirius sat in silence for a moment, thinking over everything that had happened since he arrived in Gryffindor. His mind went over the conversation in the library over and over again. Reg probably had mgic. SIrius was surprised to realize he didn’t care, or he did, just not in the way he maybe should have. He just wanted his brother back. His thoughts were interrupted when Remus barged into the room. “Thank gods you’re up.” Sirius grimaced at his boyfriend’s loud voice. Remus sat besides him on the bed and kissed him softly. “How are you feeling?”

“Physically fine, mentally exhausted.” 

Remus kissed his forehead, rubbing the back of Sirius’s neck to try and ease the tension. “Logan left with Leo and Finn this morning. They won’t be back for at most a week.” 

Sirius made a small sound of acknowledgment, leaning back into Remus’s soft touch. “Why?” 

“Leo thinks he knows where to find Andromeda.” Sirius sighed softly, the remaining tension bleeding out of his shoulders. Remus kissed the tip of his nose, interlacing their fingers together and pulling Sirius out of bed. “Come on. Jules has been asking for you and you need breakfast.”

They walked to the dining room. Sitting at the table were Julian, the woman who Sirius thought had to be Remus’s mother, and a man that had to be his father. Remus squeezed his hand reassuringly, pulling him to the table and sitting down. Sirius sat besides him, Julian at his other side. 

The man offered a hand for Sirius to shake. “I’m Lyall, you must be Sirius.” 

“Yes.” Sirius shook his hand firmly. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” 

Sirius gave a startled yelp when he felt something brush his leg. When he looked under the table his eyes widened. “Remus.” His boyfriend turned to look at him with a questioning look. “Why is there a dragon under the table?” 

He heard Julian laugh from besides him. The boy bent down under the table and brought out a small dragon. It was pure black with glowing purple eyes. It perched itself on Julian’s shoulders and curled its tail around his arm protectively. “Oh, that’s just Calliope”, Remus answered dismissively. “Julian has a tendency to take in strays. He found this little one in a cave near the river Godric a few months ago.” Remus threw a piece of bread at the dragon. 

Sirius looked at Julian incredulously. “Who sees a dragon and immediately thinks to bring it home?” 

“In my defense, I didn’t do that.” Julian held a piece of meat for Calliope to eat. “She climbed up on my shoulders and wouldn’t come down. And she’s adorable.” He scratched behind her ears. “I couldn’t leave her. She is just a baby.” 

“Believe me. We tried to make her leave.” Lyall smiled at Calliope’s indignant huff. “She just crawled back into Julian’s room. We gave up after the second time.” 

They ate in silence. Calliope moved to lay in Sirius’s lap at some point, he had to admit, she was pretty cute. He scratched behind her ears, looking at Remus with wide eyes when she started purring contentedly. The other man laughed brightly, eyes shining with amusement. They left the house around midday, heading towards the royal stables to get their horses. Twenty minutes later they were headed back to Slytherin, a heavy feeling settling over Sirius. “Father will want me to report to him.” 

Remus turned his head slightly to look at him. “What will you tell him?” 

“As much as I can, with obvious exceptions.” 

“Like Leo’s magic?” Sirius nodded, Leo was the reason they even knew where to start their search, he wasn’t going to spoil that plan by telling his father about magic. They rode in comfortable silence for a few hours, content to be in each other’s presence.

Remus pulled on his horse's reins to make her stop. Something was wrong, the forest was too silent almost like it was holding its breath. He turned to look at Sirius, who was studying him with a question in his eyes. He opened his mouth to ask why Remus had stopped, but he couldn’t get words out. 

A group of mercenaries ambushed them, coming out from where they had been hiding behind trees and bushes, causing an uproar and disrupting the unsettling silence that had fallen over the forest. Remus jumped down from his saddle and unsheathed his daggers just in time to block a sword that was heading for his shoulder. 

Remus managed to reach Sirius’s side. Both men fought back to back, but the enemies didn’t seem to end. Remus was so focused on his fight that he didn’t notice when Sirius got separated from him until he heard a faint hiss. He slashed at the last of the men that had been fighting him before turning around to look at Sirius. 

He was fighting one of the mercenaries and didn’t notice the man that was sneaking up behind him, sword raised. Remus knew he wouldn’t get there in time to help. He felt his magic tingling at his fingertips, itching to get out. He let it, his eyes turning a deep shade of gold, a gust of air traveling through the clearing and knocking both mercenaries off their feet. 

Remus looked at Sirius to check if he was ok, only to see silver eyes staring at him. Sirius’s face was a perfect mask of nothing. His eyes held no emotion, he looked more like his father than ever. Remus was terrified.

A deadly calm settled over the forest. Silver and amber stared at each other for what could have been years, but were really just a few seconds.

 “Sirius I—” he didn’t let Remus finish. Sirius turned around and left. Remus fell to the ground, his knees giving out from under him.

Sirius had to get away. He needed to put as much distance between himself and Remus as he could. He knew he couldn’t avoid this forever, not now that he knew that the man he had fallen in love with had magic. 

He needed time to think, clear his head, before he did something he would surely regret. He had suspected Remus’s magic since the day before, when Remus started planning with Lilly and Leo, but Sirius had tried denying it for his own sake. He couldn’t have taken the news last night, he couldn’t take them right now. So he just kept running. Sirius felt sick. His father had always told him magic was evil. Anyone who practiced it became corrupted, eventually. He couldn’t bring himself to believe that Remus, his Remus, the same man that had spent hours bent over books and looking through archives for even the slightest hint as to where Regulus could be, was evil. He thought back to Leo and Lily and Hope. All had magic, and all had been kinder to him in the short time he had known them than his father had been through Sirius’s life.

He stopped dead in his tracks. He left Remus, the love of his life, who had magic, alone in the middle of the woods probably thinking he would never see Sirius again unless it was through a wall of pain and fire. The realization slashed at his heart, it would’ve hurt less to stab himself with a hot blade. The image of his Remus tied to a pyre, body surrounded by flames, his screams filling the castle’s courtyard brought tears to Sirius’s eyes. He ran back to where he had left Remus, he could hear the fallen leaves crunching under his feet, his breathing heavy. When he got there he saw Remus curled into himself on the forest floor. The sight made his chest ache. It was like someone had taken a jagged knife and carved a whole where his heart should have been.  

Remus heard footsteps approach the clearing, but he didn’t look up. He didn’t have to. He could recognize Sirius by the way he walked. He had tears streaming down his face. He was scared, not of dying he knew deep down Sirius would never hurt him. He was scared to lose Sirius. He wanted his partner to really know him. To love the real him, not the lie he had created to survive in Slytherin. 

Sirius approached Remus carefully. Watched his shoulders tense. He could see Remus’s flushed face, he had tears streaming down his cheeks. Tears Sirius put there. 

The knife took another slash at his heart. 

He sat down in front of Remus. His love’s eyes were unfocused. Sirius wanted nothing more than to gather Remus in his arms and never let go. “Love”, Remus flinched at Sirius' voice, “ love please look at me”. His voice was thick with unshed tears. Remus’s amber eyes snapped up to meet grey. He could feel fresh tears falling down his face. Sirius put his arms around Remus and hugged him tightly. He felt the shorter man tense, before hugging Sirius back. 

Remus held onto Sirius like his life depended on it, face buried in the crook of his neck, breathing Sirius in. If this was the last thing he got to do he would cherish every second of it. He just hoped that if Sirius chose to execute him, if Remus was wrong and Sirius truthfully wanted him dead, that it wouldn’t be the flames. “I’m not executing you, sweetheart”, Sirius’s voice broke, “and I’m not exhiling you either.” Remus tensed. He hadn’t realized he had said that out loud. 

Sirius dropped a kiss to Remus sweaty honey colored curls, tears falling from his silver eyes. “I couldn’t bare to lose you. I don’t want to live in a world where you are not by my side.” Sirius felt his already bleeding heart break, tears falling down from his eyes. “Love, please look at me”. 

Remus lifted his head from Sirius’s shoulder. A sword calloused hand reached up to touch his cheek, thumb brushing across Remus’s cheekbone. He leaned into the soft touch, wrapping his hand around Sirius’s wrist. Sirius placed a soft kiss on his lips. Remus’s eyes fluttered shut. He leaned into it, before breaking the kiss and touching his forehead to Sirius’s. 

Sirius tightened his arms around Remus. He needed to hold onto him. Know that he was alright, that he was safe in his arms, because every time that Sirius closed his eyes the image of Remus burning came back to his mind. It made his blood run cold in his veins. “I’m so sorry, Re.”

Remus snuggled closer to Sirius, dropping a soft kiss to his neck. “I accept your apology.” Remus kissed the same spot again gently. “I understand why you ran. It still hurts, but I can understand. It was a lot and after what happened yesterday”, he shrugged lightly, “I get it.” 

Sirius took a deep breath before speaking softly. “Can I ask?” There was a beat of silence, and then Remus made an agreeable humm, moving to sit on the ground in front of his boyfriend. He took Sirius’s hand in his, squeezing it reassuringly, and gave him a small smile. 

“Ok”, he let out a breath before continuing, “what do you want to know?” 

“When did you start learning?” 

Remus looked somewhere above Sirius’s shoulder with a thoughtful look. “I guess I started using magic when I was a child.” His eyes focused on Sirius again. “But I did go through a few years of accidental magic when I was a baby.” 

Sirius gave him a confused look. “What?” 

“Right, you don’t know what I’m talking about.” Sirius pointedly ignored the murmured insults about his father. “Pretty much everyone who is born with their magic goes through a few years where they can‘t control it. That’s how parents know their child was born with a magical gift.” 

“What’s your gift then?” 

Remus smiled at him and held his open palm between them. “It’s better if I show you.” He whispered a word that Sirius didn’t understand and his eyes flashed a brilliant gold. A glowing fog appeared on his hand, curling around his fingers and wrist. “Air and light manipulation are my specialty, but I can do other more general stuff.” 

The fog had started to disappear. Sirius stared at it until it was completely gone. A second of silence followed, the small display of magic leaving Sirius temporarily speechless. He shook himself off his daze. “Can I ask what Lily’s specialty is.” 

Remus shrugged, not surprised that Sirius had figured out Lily had magic of her own. “She’s a fire witch. It’s a pretty rare specialty, dangerous even, but she knows how to control it.” 

“Do you fight with it?” 

“Not really.” Remus’s brow creased a little, looking for the right words to explain. “Air, it’s unpredictable, hard to control. It requires a lot of concentration. Lily tried teaching me how to fight with magic a few years ago.” He grimaced. “It didn’t go so well.” 

Sirius motioned for him to explain. “Lily is good with blades, but magic is her thing. Especially considering her specialty.” A small orange flame lit up in Remus’s palm. “Fire and air are both versatile, but fire is sharp and dangerous by nature. Air is powerful, but unless you put a lot of energy into it…”, a soft breeze extinguished the fire, “it’s not worth wasting that much energy when I have someone like Lils by my side. We’re a good team because the difference in fighting style makes us unpredictable.” 

Silver eyes stared at Remus with carefully contained curiosity. “Unpredictable how?” 

“Lili’s style is”, he stopped for a second before continuing, “she doesn’t follow patterns like most people. She changes tactics every time her opponent starts getting comfortable. Right when you think you have her figured out she changes direction.” 

“And you?” 

“You saw me sparring with Lily, why don’t you explain it to me.” 

Sirius tried to remember that fight. He had seen Remus moving with a grace he had never thought the other man was capable of, only stumbling when Lily managed to catch him off guard. Sirius suspected she was the only one that could do that. 

“You were fast. Managed to not stumble, somehow, I’m still trying to figure out how you didn’t fall flat on your face.” Remus blushed, but remained silent for Sirius to continue talking. “Your movements were fluid. It was hard to tell what you were going to do next.” 

His boyfriend smiled at him, amber eyes shining brightly. “Are you starting to see the pattern?” Sirius shook his head, making Remus’s smile soften. “It’s ok.” He grabbed his hand and went to stand up, pulling Sirius up with him. “I just wanted you to understand, our fighting styles mirror our Magic’s behavior.”

Sirius made a small ‘oh’ sound. The other man’s words sinking in, he decided to ask Remus more questions about it later. Maybe when Lily was there to explain, too. He felt his boyfriend tug on his hand lightly. “We need to find the horses. Unless, of course, you plan on walking all the way to Slytherin.” 

He wrapped his arm around Remus’s waist, chuckling softly. “Alright. Let’s find them and go home.” 

After they managed to find the horses, who were grazing by a small clearing near the river Godric, they rode towards Slytherin, debating how they should explain the plan to the king without mentioning magic. They had decided that Remus would go with Sirius to report to Orion on the rescue mission’s progress and once the king questioned how they had come about the information of who had kidnapped Regulus, as they were sure he would, Remus would mention the archives. 

They reached the citadel almost two days after their departure from Gryffindor. They were received at the courtyard by Sir Pascal who gave them a worried look. Remus handed his horse reins to a stable boy and walked up to the knight, Sirius following behind him. “Your father is expecting you in the council chamber.” 

Sirius nodded, motioning for Remus to follow behind him. They were standing in front of the wooden door faster than either of the would have liked, Sirius breathed deeply before nodding towards the guards to open the doors. His father was sitting on his throne, a stony expression set on his face. Sirius walked in, Remus following a step behind him. He tried not to flinch when Orion’s dark eyes settled on him. 

“Father”, Sirius bowed his head in respect. He wasn’t sure his fathers deserved that respect anymore. The king motioned for him to continue speaking. “We found a possible lead, and a possible culprit.” 

Something lit up in the king's eyes, it was a strange sight. Remus was so used to the dark, empty nothing behind Orion’s irises, the only other feeling he had ever seen in them was hatred for his kind. He tuned back to the conversation just in time to hear Sirius say  Lestrange’s name. It made something sharp flash across the king’s eyes, alarm bell’s rang inside Remus’s head, they had to choose their next words carefully. 

“Where did you come across this information?” Orion asked, something like ice creeping at the edges of his voice. 

“Actually, m’lord”, Sirius met his father’s eye, preparing himself for what would come after he spoke, “Remus found it in Gryffindor‘s archives.” 

Orion looked at him, Remus had to resist the urge to run away. “Is that true?” 

“Yes, your majesty.” He kept his tone carefully even. “The king keeps records of all sorcerers that live in his lands and ally kingdoms. I thought it would be best to start our search there.” 

Orion stared at him for a few seconds before returning his gaze to his heir. They continued their discussion while Remus stood back, occasionally answering any question the king might have had about the information stored in the archives. Three hours later Orion had given his blessing to continue with their search for Bellatrix, ordering Sirius to execute her on the charges of sorcery, treason, and endangerment to the crown. Sirius nodded stiffly, anxious to get out of the room and as far away from his father as he could. 

Remus followed behind Sirius, leaving the council room behind and walking to his boyfriend’s chambers. The moment the doors closed Sirius threw himself at his bed, landing with a small thud on the soft mattress, burying his face on the pillow and screaming, the muffled sound barely audible. Amber eyes stared after him worriedly, the last few days had been heavy on Sirius, his mind needed a break from everything and Remus wanted nothing more than to give that to him. With a flash of gold a crow made of pure light appeared in front of Remus, it’s wings fluttering softly. It moved toward the bed and perched itself besides Sirius’s head, tugging at a strand of his black hair. It startled a laugh out of him. “What is this?” Sirius asked softly. 

“A messenger bird.” Remus sat beside Sirius, maneuvering them so that Sirius's head lay on his lap, the bird sitting softly on his boyfriend's chest. “Lily’s is a butterfly.” 

“Why does she get a butterfly?” 

Remus began to run his fingers through Sirius’s dark curls, the feeling making Sirius melt. “I think butterflies are Lily’s favorite.”

Sirius’s eyes were closed, a small content smile on his lips. “What about Leo?” 

“His is a little salamander. A newt, if you will.” A small giggle bubbled out of Sirius making Remus smile, he bent down to kiss Sirius softly, he hadn’t seen his boyfriend this at peace since he received the news of Regulus’s disappearance. “I love you.” 

A startled expression took over Sirius’s face. “What?” His voice choked up by the sudden rush of emotion. “Y-You… what?”

“I”, he kissed Sirius’s forehead. “Love”, a kiss to his nose. “You.” Remus kissed his lips, slow and loving, trying to pour all of his feelings into it. The angle was more than a little awkward and Sirius was still a little in shock, but his eyes still fluttered shut. He returned it with as much love and adoration as he could. It was perfect. 

They broke apart, breathless and smiling. Sirius stared into Remus’s eyes, he could see gold swirling in his warm amber irises, how had he ever thought that magic could be evil. “I love you too. So much.” 

Remus smiled. Sirius could have sworn it lit up the entire room, a warm feeling bloomed in his chest. Sirius didn’t know how he had ever survived without the amber eyes, bright smile, and soft lingering kisses, but he never wanted to live like that again. He would do anything to keep his love safe.

 “I love you.”

#Open your eyes #remus lupin #sirius black #lily evans #James Potter #leo knut #logan tremblay #finn o'hara #thomas walker #julian lupin #regulus black #orion black #lumosinlove

[bothcreativitybois]

Slow Morning

Ship: Intruality

TW: Remus being Remus, suggestive behaviour, a single swear word, kissing

Taglist: @star-crossed-shipper @crazydemigod666 Description: Remus is awake early and Patton realised he is hurt.

Patton hung around lazily in the shared lounge room of the mindscape. It was a very slow morning. Patton was laying on the couch watching cartoons with a cup of tea left forgotten, he couldn’t focus on just one show so he was flipping through all his favourites. When Patton heard someone arrive he assumed it was Logan looking for coffee. Every morning everyone woke up in the same order. Patton was always first, closely followed by Logan, then Roman but his morning routine always made him late, then Janus who would disguise as others to avoid being seen in a dishevelled state, Virgil would wake the moment Thomas did and not a second sooner, finally Remus who more often than not slept through the day and would emerge just in time for dinner. This happened every morning like clock-work. So you can imagine how surprised Patton was when he noticed it was Remus who had entered. Remus was too tired to notice the cardigan-clad-clod relaxing on the couch snuggled under a pink blanket. 

“Rem!” Patton shouted across the room. Remus quickly turned and flashed a smile. “What’s up Daddy Bear?” Remus asked with a signature nickname, hoping it would distract Patton from realising the side was limping. Patton was more focused on the fact he was awake at all.

“What’re you doin’ up already?” Patton sat up as he talked, pushing the blanket off him. Remus absentmindedly scratched his bare chest, only wearing a pair of green boxers. “Oh I had dream duty… probably why it’s so quiet currently…” Remus reminisced. Patton looked across at the clock and realised it was well past the time both Logan and Roman should be awake. He must’ve gotten wrapped up in his cartoons more than he thought. Remus made very… unique dreams, usually this would lead to Thomas having certain reactions. Those reactions would wake up the other sides and pull them into working. Patton guessed that Thomas and the other sides were sleeping a little late because of this. Remus cracked a few eggs into a glass, Patton watched on enjoying the view of the side without a shirt. But he noticed as Remus putting the eggs away that he was limping.

“Are you hurt Remus?” Patton fretted. Remus picked up his glass and started making his way to the dining table. “Uh yeah.” Remus answered, scratching the back of his neck. “There was a moth in my room.” Remus said this as a matter of fact but Patton was confused. “And the moth… hurt your foot?” Patton was perplexed. Remus thought Patton looked cute when he was confused. The way he tilted his head and his eyes sparkled behind his glasses. Remus laughed to hide his blush, unfortunately for Patton this made him blush.

“No, I kicked my morningstar when I was trying to catch it.” Remus chuckled. Patton wasn’t amused. He stood up quickly and rushed to Remus. “Were you barefoot? Did it bleed?” Patton stuttered. “Did you take care of it?” “Oh I definitely did not.” Remus said as he took a swig of his eggs. Patton pulled as angry of a face as he could but all it did was make Remus laugh again. “You look like a pooping baby.” Remus laughed. “Let me take care of you!” Patton insisted. Remus felt his stomach alight. Butterflies, bees, flies and all sorts of insects buzzed around. He didn’t expect Patton to care. “Uh… it’s alright.” Remus stammered. He avoided Patton’s gaze. 

“No it isn’t!” Patton grew more stern. “I have a first aid kit in my room! You will come with me and I will patch you up.” Remus didn’t know how to react. Seeing Patton be so assertive was… hot. “If you’re so desperate for me to come…” Remus paused to let the joke land but Patton wasn’t catching on. He sighed. “I guess I have no choice.”  Patton smiled and clapped. Remus laughed and downed the rest of his eggs. Patton grabbed Remus’ arm and they both blushed. Patton pulled them both down and they rose up in his room. Remus stumbled, he wasn’t used to that. Patton caught Remus with a hand on his chest. 

“Getting a little handsy there huh?” Remus teased. Patton blushed and retracted the hand. Remus enjoyed the view but didn’t want to make Patton uncomfortable. Remus fell backward and sat on Patton’s bed. The other side left to find the first aid kit. As Patton reached for the kit which was on top of a bookshelf, his shirt rode up and some skin poked out. Remus couldn't help but peek. Patton’s stomach was more chubby than his, it looked soft and squishy. Remus suddenly found himself thinking of resting against a shirtless Patton, using him as a pillow. He got lost in the thought. He imagined Patton softly stroking his hair as he listened to the sounds coming from Patton’s stomach. He felt the warmth of Patton and the blush on his face. He felt something he wasn’t quite familiar with, calmness. “Remus?” Patton tried to get Remus’ attention but the side seemed dazed. He lent down to look him in the eyes. “Yes angel?” Remus hummed sweetly. Suddenly he snapped back to where he was. Patton’s red face filled his vision, he could feel heat radiating off his own face too. They were both suddenly aware of how close they were... and how shirtless Remus was. “I… I have the first aid kit…” Patton looked down at the white box on the ground. Angel was an unusual nickname coming from Remus. He probably didn’t mean anything by it but Patton couldn’t stop hearing it ring through his head. 

“Yes… uh it’s the right foot.” Remus stammered. He was usually a lot more confident than this. Something about Patton made him nervous. “Not the wrong one?” Patton joked trying to stay grounded. Patton knelt between Remus’ pared legs, blissfully unaware of what their shared position looked like. Remus knew however. His face burned and he looked away. He wanted to say something but didn’t know how he would. He settled for closing his eyes as Patton hummed sweetly. Patton gently cleaned a cut on one of Remus’ toes before tightly wrapping some medical tape around it and the toe next to it, pressing them together. He felt around for more injuries, pressing down on different places. He couldn’t find anything. Remus had probably just broken that toe. Patton dropped Remus’ foot. Remus was drawn back when Patton stopped humming. Patton put a hand on Remus’ knee and rose slightly. “Think we’ll need to cut it off?” Remus teased. Patton giggled, dimples digging into his cheeks. Remus never noticed those dimples before. “No, you’ll just have a limp for a while. If you need the bandage changed then find me.” Patton said kindly. “Thanks Patio.” Remus smiled. He instinctively put a hand on Patton’s shoulder, the touch lingered. Patton looked up at Remus, he was surprised to see how much his eyes sparkled. Remus was drawn to Patton’s gaze, he was watching Remus’ eyes like they were a movie. Both men blushed. Remus became aware of the position Patton had put himself in again. 

Then Patton heard someone rise up behind him. “Patton wh-” Remus looked up wide-eyed at the side who had just joined them. Logan stared back for a moment before sinking back out without another word. “Logan no!” Remus shouted and pushed past Patton. But it was already too late. “Shit!” Remus ran his hands through his hair aggressively. “Language!” Patton gasped. Remus was freaking out. “No no no! This isn’t happening!” Remus pleaded. He paced back and forth. Patton rose. “It’s okay, Remus.” Patton sang in a soothing voice. He shushed softly. “You don’t get it!” Remus fretted back as he continued pacing. “Everything is okay, Remus.” Patton repeated but again with no result. “No! It looked like you were gonna-” Remus cut off there. “It isn’t okay!” Remus kept pacing and mumbling to himself. Patton kept trying to soothe him softly but it didn’t work, it was like Remus didn’t hear him.  Patton knew he had to get through, he thought what Remus would do. He strode in front of Remus and pushed him against the wall. “Calm down and listen!” Patton shouted. That worked. Remus grew quiet and stared down at Patton but he didn’t say anything. Patton’s face exploded into a blush as he realised he just pinned shirtless Remus against his bedroom wall. He kept staring at Remus’ chest, it was more chiselled and defined than Patton’s and had a few scars from duels with Roman. Remus was nervous but he knew that he had to take the lead in this situation. He put a hand under Patton’s chin and tilted his eyes back up to meet his. “I’m listening…” Remus teased with a smirk. Remus slipped his other arm around Patton’s waist and pulled them together. “Very closely.” Remus whisper tickled Patton’s entire body. Patton put his arms around Remus’ neck. Remus took the hint and began to close the gap. Both men’s hearts were beating so hard they might explode, their faces were a deep red. “Remus.” Patton whispered. Their faces were almost touching. “What do you want, Angel?” Remus purred. He already knew, and it was the same thing he did.

“I want you to kiss me.” Patton struggled for breath. That was Remus’ cue. He pulled Patton into a ferocious kiss. Despite his sweet nature Patton was very pleased with the heated kiss over something more storybook. It felt more real, it felt like Remus. Patton let Remus guide him. Remus fell back against the wall as they both pulled away breathless. They rested their foreheads together. 

“So are we gonna go explain what happened to Logan now?” Remus panted. Patton giggled and bit his lip. “It’s a slow morning, he can wait.” Patton joked as he pulled Remus back in.

#intruality #sanders sides #sanders sides fic #patton sanders #ts patton #remus sanders #ts remus #fan fic #thomas sanders

[cotncandyboifics]

The Bidding of the Prince Twins: Chapter 2

AO3 Link

Masterpost

Chapter 1 ~

Pairings: (vague/qpr) Loceit, eventual Analoceit

Word count: 2,961

Story summary: Virgil finds himself being held hostage in an unknown location. His two suspected captors seem to care for him more than any strangers should, especially strangers who kidnapped him. But were they really the ones who kidnapped him? That aside, Virgil also can't shake the feeling that there's something familiar about them. He just can't pin-point what it is. As time passes, the layers of lies the three of them are caught in are gradually peeled away, one by one.

General CW: U!Roman, U!Remus, food, kidnapping, implied Stockholm Syndrome, moderate to severe amnesia, swearing, sexual innuendos, graphic descriptions of gore/violence/scarring, minor character d-aths, anxiety attacks, panic attacks, non-graphic descriptions of needles, graphic and non-graphic descriptions of physical pain, (will be added to as I write more)

Chapter CW: Unsympathetic!Roman, Unsympathetic!Remus, food, moderate amnesia, kidnapping hostage, swearing, non-graphic descriptions of physical pain, (let me know if i missed anything please!)

Author Notes: <none>

...

Virgil woke up to an abundance of soft fabric surrounding him. He was groggy as all hell, and immediately felt a small ache coming from his left outer thigh. He grunted to himself as he tried to shift around - turns out his whole body was sore and aching to the bone. He managed to flop himself onto his back, only entangling himself deeper in the lush fabric that was practically engulfing him.

As he felt around him, he came to the ingenious conclusion that he was in a very soft bed. Likely a double, since he had more room to sprawl out than he usually did at home in his twin. He finally decided to try at opening his eyes.

He shied away from the light as he had before, but this time it was far less intense and concentrated on him. In fact, it seemed to be dim and gentle for the express purpose of providing a more docile mood than last time. He was able to turn his head in a wobbling jolt, and found that the only active source of light in the room was a yellow-bulbed lamp that sat cozily on the bedside table to his left.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty," Virgil recognized J's voice from across the room. He tried to sit up, and was somehow successful in his semi-panicked state, but set his jaw and squeezed his eyes shut as his head pounded in response to his unwanted movement. He cursed under his breath. "I see you slept well," J's voice was as snarky as ever.

When Virgil got his bearings enough to open his eyes, he looked around the room, trying not to move his head too much.

There wasn't much in the room. On the opposite wall was a very large mirror set into the wall - not a very discrete false mirror, Virgil mused to himself. Set in the top corners of the mirror were two rectangular black boxes that appeared to be small speakers. A nice carpet beneath his bed stretched half the length of the room, which then gave way to cement. A metal chair welded to the floor just above a drain was in the middle of the far side, beyond the carpet. In the far right corner, an opaque glass door with a metal frame, and Virgil could see the glint of tiles beneath the raised bottom of the door. On the far side of the left wall, there was a heavy-looking metal door that was bolted shut, with one small window at head height and one at the floor. Just beyond the door, in a fold-out metal chair, sat who Virgil assumed to be J.

He was sitting with his legs crossed, hands folded over one knee. He eyed Virgil from behind light-brown golden bangs that curled around and over the brim of his black bowler hat. Virgil couldn't make out his face well from where he was, but he could see that, while one of his eyes was a deep chocolate brown, the other was a nearly pale-white, and a very long and jagged scar ran vertically up through his eye from the edge of his jawline, along with a few other scars on that same right side of his face that ran across his cheek or down his neck and below his collar.

J stood swiftly, and started stepping toward Virgil cautiously. Virgil scowled, considering hissing at him or trying to get away, but his physical state combined with a strange gentleness he detected in the man's eyes kept him quiet and planted in place.

Janus sat on the edge of the bed, never taking his eyes off Virgil, who quietly gulped at the other man's closeness. "Virgil," J addressed after a momentary staring contest. "Will you answer me something?" J's voice was sweet and silky again, but this time it felt far less forced to Virgil somehow.

"Depends on what it is," he narrowed his eyes at J slightly. J only smirked at that, but any expected condescending tone had dissipated before he spoke again.

J leaned closer to Virgil, searching his eyes, before continuing. "Tell me. Do you recognize me in any way?"

That was certainly not what Virgil had been expecting. He scoffed. "y'know, I think I would remember meeting someone with-" He cut himself off, and J didn't miss how his pupils dilated slightly. "hmm," he hummed after a moment of searching J's face almost feverishly.

"...no?" It almost sounded as though some sort of hope J had been holding onto was dissipated, dissolving into oblivion with that single small word.

"I thought... no. No, I don't." Virgil's tone was unsure as he continued to search J's features like a blind mouse surrounded by the scent of cheese. J pursed his lips and sighed in defeat, looking away.

"That's good, I suppose," J mused, seemingly to himself. Virgil was growing more confused by the second. He knew there was something familiar about this man, but that feeling he was chasing the tail end of seemed to be detached from any memories he may have had of seeing him before. Eventually Virgil gave up, looking down at his lap.

"I thought L said you guys were only coming in together," Virgil's voice came out much smaller than he wanted it to. J opened his mouth to reply, but a sudden static noise shot through Virgil's ears and it felt as though it was scraping the inside of his skull. The sound was gone sooner than it began, before Virgil could cover his ears, and L's voice came through from the two speakers set in the frame of the false mirror, distorted and somewhat spooky.

"Hello Virgil. I am watching through this false mirror. At this time, only J can reveal his physical appearance to you, as it is less likely to jeopardize our assignment." J groaned, throwing his head back, and Virgil wondered if it bothered him that L kept calling it (whatever "it" was) an assignment. "However, you will be... meeting me, face to face, very soon. For now, J and I assumed you'd be more comfortable with a softly lit room, as opposed to pitch darkness." With that, the static sound returned for a moment, and was followed by silence. Virgil trained his eyes on the false mirror, wondering where exactly L was behind it. He scoffed yet again.

"What do you two care if I'm comfortable?" He hissed, glaring from the mirror to J, who was still sitting beside him. He considered his words for a moment, letting his angry expression fall away. He looked from the soft bed to the dim lamp, and realized that J and L clearly did want him to be at least somewhat comfortable.

"This is not meant to be a torturous experience." J's near whisper of a statement coalesced with Virgil's train of thought. he stared forward blankly, and Virgil quietly waited in his surprise to see if he would explain further. "We don't have a choice in this, as much as you don't. We-"

"J, I think that's enough for now," L's voice came through the speakers again, and J's eyes widened as he turned part way to face the mirror.

"Yes, perhaps you are right." Virgil hadn't expected that. Then again, he hadn't expected to get kidnapped by two strangely familiar men that he seemed to be developing some sick and twisted attraction for, despite how he had despised the concept of Stockholm Syndrome his whole life.

J seemed lost in thought, not moving for a long moment. Then he stood, glancing at Virgil with an unbridled sadness, before pacing to the large metal door, undoing the mechanical locks with a very long string of numbers entered into a keypad. There was a buzzing and the door shuddered open, and Janus slipped through quickly before pushing it shut hastily from the other side. The door immediately relocked itself when it was shut.

Virgil almost laughed at the half-assed security that was just displayed, but remembered he could scarcely move his legs, let alone stand or walk. He flopped backward on the bed.

After a short moment alone, there was a sound of scraping metal, though much smaller and more high-pitched than that of the door opening. A small tray of food slid through the opening at the base of the door. Virgil shifted in the bed to try to get up, but quickly gave in again to the aching soreness that was racking his body. He'd get the food later.

...

"Janus, what the hell was that?" Logan hissed through clenched teeth as Janus opened the door to their observation room. He slowly stepped over to the chair nearest to the door and dropped defeatedly into it, staring blankly forward at nothing in particular. A single heavy tear rolled down his cheek from his unblinded eye. Logan sighed frustratedly from the chair beside him in an almost-growl. "We cannot risk allowing our emotions to interfere with-"

"Oh can't we, Logan?" Janus fumed, whipping his head around to stare Logan down. "I could have said the same god damn thing to you yesterday. The way you spoke to him did so little to disguise your empathy for him that I nearly slapped you across the face then and there." Logan breathed a scoff after a moment, mostly amazed that he was being told off by Janus- the two had been in (objectively) much more strenuous situations together in the past, and never, never had Janus actually snapped at him. "I'm sorry having to interrogate him was your breaking point, but having your life-long friend look you in the face and tell you he doesn't recognize you is- is mine."

Logan waited a few beats of silence, trying to discipline the brash tone of his voice into something more manageable and clinical. "Janus. We knew this would happen. The amnesia is a direct side effect of the required doses. Assuming everything is working according to plan, he will not recognize me either when I see him tomorrow."

Janus' jaw was set, and he bit his cheek so hard he tasted blood. "Easier said than experienced, Jackson." Logan cringed at the use of his last name. "See how it makes you feel when he's got those eyes trained on you without a single trace of recognition."

With that, Janus stood, tromping away and gone with a slam of the door.

Logan stared unfocused in the general direction of where Janus had been, pursing his lips in thought. After long enough of that, he turned his attention back to the laptop before him, deciding it would be best to just get back to work.

...

The rest of Virgil's day was extremely uneventful and boring. He gradually mustered the strength to go eat, sitting cross-legged with his back against the wall as he picked at buttered mashed potatoes and some kind of flavorless meat. He took his time, not hungry enough to finish it quickly but bored enough to keep working at the meal. Eventually he was down to just crumbs and little smeared spots of mash. Still, he finished it all, cleaning the entire tray of any organic substance. Although then, he found himself having to search for a new source of entertainment.

He looked around for a while, from where he was sitting on the floor beside the heavy metal door. He noticed some white stuff sticking to certain parts of the metal chair welded to the floor, and assumed they were remnants of the duct tape from his interrogation session yesterday, or whenever that had happened.

From there he started spiraling about how long he'd been in "solitary confinement" as he'd dubbed it, but quickly tried to avert his attention; he knew panicking about something he very clearly could do nothing about would just make things harder for himself. He took a few slow deep breaths.

Opening his eyes again, he searched the room more thoroughly. There were a few visible dust bunnies under the bed, but the exposed carpet looked freshly vacuumed. The lampshade was positively covered in dust. There was a single caged lightbulb that looked very heavy-duty set in the very center of the ceiling, but it looked burnt out. On the other side of the door beside him, Virgil could see the outline of the edge of a light switch that must have been removed. In the far corner of the room, on the opposite side of his bed, a single long crack ran crookedly up the cement wall, just shy of touching the ceiling.

He looked to the glass door in the furthest corner of the room, watching as the tiles visible on the floor past it gleamed. Wait.

If the tiles were reflecting some sort of light- did that mean there was a window?

Virgil scrambled to his feet, dropping the food tray with a few loud clacks on the floor. He winced at the sound, but maintained his attention as he beelined for the door. He yanked it open a little too hard, and felt his shoulder ache slightly.

It was a small box of a room. There was a toilet, sink and shower all lined up uncomfortably close to each other on the wall Virgil faced. There were two cups on the sink, one on either side of the faucet; both looked well-cleaned, and one had a brand-new toothbrush resting in it along with a small tube of toothpaste. Above the sink there were indentations in the wall, as though there'd been a mirror there at one point that got taken down. The shower was really just a showerhead hanging from the ceiling directly above a small circular drain that the tile pattern dipped slightly at. There were two twist knobs on the wall above said drain, one marked with a red H and the other a mostly scratched off blue C. A small white soap bar sat on a little porcelain protrusion in the wall beside the knobs. And of course...

No window. There was just a vent with a cage drilled to the wall surrounding it set high in the corner of one wall, and a single industrial-looking light in the center of the ceiling that looked identical to the one in the main room. Virgil sighed, rubbing his temples.

He didn't know what else to do, and figured this was the only way to get certain privacy. So he pulled his shirt off lazily, shoving his pants and underwear off. He turned to see himself in the mirror, only to be immediately reminded that the only mirror was in fact just an observation tool. He wouldn't be able to really look at himself without feeling his guts whirl unpleasantly until he could get out.

If he ever did.

He twisted the cold nob around once, and didn't touch the hot. The pipes in the wall shook audibly for a moment, and then a surprisingly steady water pressure spilt over his hair and back. The water was cold, as promised, and Virgil fought a shiver as he felt his skin erupt in goosebumps.

After a moment of enjoying the coolness against his previously quite hot skin, he realized that a cold shower would likely hurt more than help his muscle situation. He groaned to himself and turned the hot knob around two and a half times.

The water changed surprisingly quickly, but not suddenly. Virgil adjusted to the gentle heat, relishing the steam that surrounded him and made it easy to keep his dark thoughts from taking over.

...

Remus Prince sat impatiently, leaning forward in the drivers seat to stare down the stoplight above threateningly. He thrummed his fingers on the steering wheel to keep himself from slapping his obnoxious, dramatic excuse for a brother in the passenger seat across the face.

"Yes hello, I'd like an iced Venti Chai Latte with - excuse me, ma'am, are you going- excuse me, will you allow me to finish my sentence?" Roman had always been disrespectful toward service workers, and it had always irked Remus. Though, he knew yelling at his brother now would only make it worse for the employee.

Finally the light changed, and Remus stepped on the gas slightly too fast, jerking Roman forward. He made offended noises as he continued conferring with the Starbucks employee on the other end of the line.

"Yes. Precisely. Thank you." His tone suggested he was anything but thankful, and Remus growled vaguely at him. Roman just side-winked at him, with his stupid smile on full display. "Yes, that'll be for Roman Prince."

Remus couldn't hear very well what the person on the other line had been saying before, but this time he did hear a "...is this a prank call?" after a beat of silence. Roman smirked to himself.

"No, my dear, it is indeed not." With that, Roman hung up.

As Roman set his phone down, Remus' received a notification and lit up. He grunted, non-verbally asking his brother to check it. Roman grabbed the phone lazily, and Remus saw his brother's smirk widen into a sick grin out the corner of his eye. Remus grinned at the road ahead, teeth slightly too sharp to be human sticking out grotesquely in a few too many directions.

"Shall we see how our boys are doing?" Roman connected his brother's phone to the car speaker system, pressing play on the audio file they'd been sent.

There was a slight static fuzz, before a voice could be heard. "Good morning, sleeping beauty." The twins both immediately huffed a laugh as they recognized Janus' voice coming through the car speakers.

"I see you slept well."

#thomas sanders #sanders sides #sanders sides fanfiction #logan sanders #virgil sanders #janus sanders #ts logan #ts virgil #ts janus #roman sanders #remus sanders #creativitwins #ts roman #ts remus #loceit #anxceit #analogical #analoceit #virgil x logan #logan x janus #janus x virgil #janus x logan x virgil #unsympathetic roman #unsympathetic remus #sympathetic virgil #sympathetic janus #sympathetic logan