#and like. garnet exists

[novantinuum]

favorite bit in Steven Universe- the "man, I don't get cartoons these days" style fourth wall break

#just... steven universe as a show constantly commenting on cartoons while it ITSELF is a cartoon... #it's fascinating to me bc it injects an added dose of like... realism into events. #like we're Visualizing steven's life as a 'cartoon' but for him this is just. his existence #like HE watches cartoons and animes and all that #he's a real living person in the world of the show who has a whole life off the screen #saying it once again- number one way to make your worlds feel more lived-in is to invent fictional media that exists WITHIN the world #su #steven universe #greg universe #amethyst #pearl #garnet #connie maheswaran #sardonyx #su edit #my video stuff

[redpandavvstuffs]

"We need more clomplex female characters!!!"

Yall mfs couldn't even handle her 💀

#pink diamond #pink diamond steven universe #complex characters #Mfs who hates pink diamond and not the other diamonds are basically stupid as hell #Steven universe #She may have hurted people but doesn't change the fact that she was trying to fix her mistakes #“She left spinal!” It would've been risky. Pink couldn’t have brought spinel. She would’ve died in the war because of her happy go lucky na #“She traumatized many people!!” STFU ur acting as if she wasn't traumatized and abused as well 💀 #She's not 100% evil and not 100% good yall #“She left her all her problems to steven!” Well how the actual fuck was she supposed know when she don't have future vision? #Like bro even Garnet didn't knew 💀💀 #The way this fandom treats pink diamond... #Forever a pink diamond defender #Gtfo if ur a pink diamond hater this is NOT for you 💀 #She was like a child in a toxic home #We saw her development backwards #PD is the perfect example of no matter what you change #in some way #your past will always haunt you. she never wanted all of that for Steven 😕 #Anyway if it wasn't for her and stopping the colonization steven universe would've never existed #cotton candy

[harbingerwife]

Actually, scratch that, I’m cutting the break short. Good evening, everyone. 💙

#To keep things succinct; the man I was courting tragically found me too intense. #However we persevere nonetheless and refuse to wallow. #I do so wish for an apology from him but alas I fear his ego limits the chances. #Whatever. I went shopping today! And I got the most darling garnet jewellery set. #They look like scales! Snake scales… Dragon scales… just. scales. #And the colour; don’t even get me started on the colour. #Remember kids ! a man will; much like rest of humanity; wither and age and rot to nothing. #A durable; well taken care of and appropriately respected stone will not. <3 #But to return to the topic; I was planning on deleting all social media but. #Self isolation won’t help; even if I have no social energy. #I don’t necessarily have to push myself out of my boundaries. #Social media can also exist solely to reblog 20 posts of your man and then disappear into the void for the next 43 hours. #I likely won’t be interacting much or going out of my way because I do not have the time or energy but. I am cheering everyone on. <3 #⚖️

[comixandco]

i think something people forget about pink diamond is that she had compassion for life long before she went to earth

the pebbles assume steven is pink not because of his gem or aura but just because he says ‘hello’ and ‘thank you’ to them, a basic common courtesy that nobody else has given them in thousands of years

in steven’s pink visions, blue is yelling at pink about the little bugs she let loose on homeworld. when one of them is found in her cell, she is quick to check it’s okay before helping it out of the room. even before encountering humans she valued organic life.

even the garden, the setting of pink’s cruellest moment, is proof of her care for organic life. Unlike every other part of homeworld, the garden is teeming with plant-life, which was kept healthy enough that it continued to grow even after pink abandoned it. the only other homeworld structure that tends to organic life is the human zoo. who’s to say the garden wasn’t another attempt by the other diamonds to placate pink after she expressed concern for the life on one of their colonies? or maybe pink picked the plants herself from the many different colonies she visited and grew them there.

pink wasn’t perfect. she had a bad habit of acting on her emotions and impulses without considering the consequences of her actions, and she hurt a lot of people because of it. but she considered all life precious and worth protecting, it just wasn’t until she had a colony of her own that she fully understood that the expansion of homeworld was intrinsically linked to the destruction of life, and the moment she realised that is the moment she stood against it.

#steven universe #su pink diamond #this post is almost 5 years too late lol #like padparadscha by the time my thoughts have found their way from my brain to my mouth the moment is long gone #but a hot take is a hot take even if it’s been in a slow cooker #i just think people are sleeping on the pebbles and the scene with the little rainbow catipillar #there always seemed to be a sentiment that pink was an inherently cruel person and that she didn’t care about anything before earth? #and that her care for life was either superficial or out of left field #but something my brain keeps rotating round is that she was always like this she always cared for other life forms but never took them #seriously. she always cared about them but never really paid close attention to how they were. and it was something she learnt off of the #other diamonds who treated her exactly the same as she treated everybody else. they loved her but they didn’t understand her and they #never made an effort to change that. and they never thought about how their actions made her feel or whether she was responding to their #own outbursts and emotions. and she never considered how her actions would make other people feel. #she didn’t think how her screaming would hurt volleyball until it happened. she didn’t consider how all-encompassing her orders to spinel #and pearl and potentially garnet were. she didn’t think about how spinel would be hurt by being left behind and quite frankly i do think #she completely forgot spinel existed once she became preoccupied with saving earth which is horrible but also makes total sense for her #character who from creation was taught that other gems were worth less than her and that they existed only to serve her or her fellow #diamonds; and as somebody who was used to the concept of being left behind and abandoned whenever the people she cared about got bored #or annoyed with her. it hurts but it’s a part of life to her. what she didn’t consider js that her words are law and she left spinel with #no free-will. she left pearl physically unable to share important information and solve the problems she left behind. #and she doesn’t consider how her death will make others feel - she doesn’t think the diamonds will care that she dies but they do and they #murder all of her friends except for two. she thinks the crystal gems will be fine without her if she says goodbye to become steven but #they aren’t and a good portion of the show is about the gems grief and how it creates an unstable environment for steven to grow up in #consistently pink diamond was taught her feelings didn’t matter and was made to feel nobody cared about her if they weren’t compelled to #and that compiled with the privileged position she was formed into made her an insecure spoiled brat who had no comprehension that her #choices could hurt people around her #did she ever even consider that the diamonds were grieving her? or did she think it was just another action of violence to exert control? #i don’t think i’ll ever be over pink diamond #funnily enough steven has a similar problem e.g. sadie’s talent show and when connie was upset he gave himself up to homeworld #but that’s a discussion for when i’m not at tag limit lol

[thisloveforyourmom]

the pearlrose tag is sure full of takes

#people seeing rose as someone who has real flaws and struggles to see past her own self interest is not people seeing rose as horrible evil #(yes including self hatred! doing things without considering others is still doing things without considering others #if its bc u assume u know whats best for them) #like she is a more interesting character if she goes against the 'kind selfless amazing wonderful departed mother leader' trope #by just being actually selfish! #not secretly selfless! actually kinda selfish and self centered and accidentally cruel in a nonmalicious but still painful way! #and it's interesting that all of this coexists alongside the good in her #like how amethyst's easygoing attitude and commitment to growth coexist alongside her destructive temper and insecurity #like how garnet's affection and sense of responsibility exist alongside her isolationism and impulsivity when pressured #like how pearl's strong caretaking nature and capability exists alongside her obsessive tendencies and snobbiness #rose is more interesting if she is both caring and selfish! both healing and cruel! she is flawed she is deeply flawed #ITS A FEATURE NOT A BUG!!

[jayyekko]

fusion in steven universe is a representation of the different types of relationships people can have with each other. the more healthy a relationship is, the more stable a fusion will be and the less abnormalities they will have.

you have familial relationships like with steven and the gems, and steven and his dad: creating the fusions smokey quartz, rainbow 2.0, sunstone, obsidian, and steg (i hate that name). steven’s relationships with the gems and greg all vary, and that shows in his fusion w/ them. his relationships with them aren’t perfect, and they have moments of conflict, which is why those fusions have some abnormalities (smokey has three arms, steg and sunstone have four) but because of the bonds that he has with this family, these fusions can remain stable if needed.

toxic/abusive relationships were also represented in the show through lapis and jasper’s fusion, malachite. irl, malachite is a gemstone that is known to be extremely toxic to humans and animals when exposed to water while it’s in its raw form or broken. malachite wasn’t formed due to a healthy bond btw jasper or lapis, she was formed for power. jasper, wanting to be able to beat the crystal gems at the end of the episode “jailbreak” (the end of season 1), caught lapis while she was trying to escape and coerced her into fusing. but, lapis also took this as an opportunity, an opportunity to protect steven and get jasper away from the gems. so, after agreeing to fuse, lapis took control of malachite, chained her up, and trapped both her and jasper in the ocean still fused as malachite.

malachite is huge, with four eyes, four legs, and two arms. this, along with the fact that lapis continued to force the fusion between the two of them despite jasper wanting to escape (shown in the episode chille tid) and had to chain them to stop from falling apart were visuals for the unhealthy and toxic relationship between the two. jasper and lapis hated each other, there was no type of love or agreement, so their fusion was unstable and on the fence of falling apart at any second. lapis recognizes this unhealthy relationship in the episode “alone at sea”, after jasper comes back begging to fuse again to feel that power again despite the fact that being malachite hurt them both and she refuses to put either of them through that again.

and then last but not least, we have romantic/platonic relationships shown through fusion. outside of the main cast, fusions that involve romantic relationships include the off colors fluorite and rhodonite. both stable and able to exist indefinitely, showcasing the healthy bonds the gems within those fusions have with each other. they do contain abnormalities, either due to the individual strengths of those relationships and/or the number of gems in the fusion (fluorite is a fusion of six gems, representing a polyamorous relationship). but then we have the two main examples of healthy romantic/platonic relationships in the show: garnet and stevonnie.

starting with stevonnie, the fusion between steven and connie, they have no abnormalities at all, looking like a normal teenager. at first, many thought this was because stevonnie was 3/4 human, so they were gonna look like a human. but the movie gave us the fusion btw steven and his father, also a human, and steg had four arms. this is how we know that stevonnie is the only fusion other than garnet to be so balanced and stable due to the relationship btw the two people that make them up. steven and connie’s relationship when stevonnie first came to exist was purely platonic (well, not really, they had mutual crushes) but the strength btw their friendship and the trust they had for each other is what makes stevonnie so stable. they are a representation of their love, platonic or not.

and with garnet, a permafusion by her own choice, she is the literally embodiment of ruby and sapphire’s love. when she first came into existence, she had blotches of pink and blue everywhere in her clothes and hair, and she was confused and shy. the relationship was new, ruby and sapphire had just really gotten to know each other properly. but at time passed, 5,750 years later you could see that garnet was all figured out and put together, with her own style, her own voice, no confusion on who she was and what was was supposed to be. ruby and sapphire’s love grew, and in those years it settled down into an understanding. they know each other’s strengths and weaknesses, their hopes and dreams, and they chose to remain fused rather than being split up because fusion is was represents their love for them. their love is so strong and beautiful, and from it come a wonderful experience that became an example for other gems that also wanted that certain bond with each other.

garnet once said that by being a fusion, you forget that you were ever alone. a fusion isn’t two people together, they become their own being. she also said, “i embody my- i mean, ruby and sapphire’s love. i’ll always exist in them, even if i split apart. but the strength of that love keeps me together, so that i can stay garnet for a VERY long time” even when ruby and sapphire are apart, when a FUSION is apart that fusion still exists in them, their bond, their relationship represents that fusion, and it can never be taken away. this is why when ruby and sapphire got married, a ceremony they participated in to remind themselves that their love is true, and strong, and exists outside of being garnet, they told their vows, exchanged rings, kissed and melted i to each other to form garnet again. garnet will always be there, even when ruby and sapphire are miles apart. it’s like steven said, she is their love, given form. and that exists within each fusion to make an appearance in the show.

#another bout of insanity #i typed up this whole 1000+ essay with my two thumbs for over an hour #it’s like i forgot the world existed #jay’s rambles #rupphire #steven universe #su #ruby and sapphire #garnet

[potatoes-tomatoes]

I’ve been goin thru a steven universe rewatch since last week and… wow. Wow this show is revolutionary for queer voices. It was eye opening seeing everything unfold again.

It’s been wonderful experiencing the show with fresh eyes. I started the show, saw the premiere of the show, followed it and finished it while I was still closeted and bigoted. I saw the reveal of Garnet being a fusion, being love, and was initially disgusted and disappointed because I was TAUGHT to be disgusted and disappointed.

The residual bigotry flares up at times… but it’s not me anymore. Well it is, but it’s like.. the MEMORY of me seeing that moment through my old eyes. I do my best to not feel shame, but to understand and forgive myself and enjoy creating a new experience watching SU.

now that I’m (somewhat) open, I’ve been able to enjoy the show and appreciate how much it’s done for queer voices since. I… saw Ruby and Sapphire’s wedding for the first time, I saw it— not with my hands barely covering my eyes. What a triumph that this show inspired others to let queer ppl share their stories, experiences, hopes, fears, love, without shame! Steven Universe isn’t perfection— it’s flawed, beautifully flawed, like the people who made it, the people who watch it, and the characters in it. If the road it paved wasn’t perfect, then all the better for newer voices, newer stories to be like, that limestone thingy in roman rock to reinforce it. To make it better. to make like, longer gay roads! pff shit I think I was trying to be poetic and metaphorical or something, but I hope my point came across. I just have big feelings right now. I didn’t realize what SU did for this lil baby queer. It’s so inspiring

#I remeber all my old feelings watching the show #I remember my old rambles in my school journals and secret su art #i remember doing my best to not feel conflicted about Garnet and Pearl because I LOVED garnet and pearl #How I felt I had to combat being ‘deceived’ by the show #But really it’s just… Garnet and Pearl and all other allegories/ rep in the show isn’t trying to Convince me of anything #it just wants to exist. it fought yes but fought to be FREE to exist and share itself #shiiittt it’s so weird experiencing this show as an adult and critically watching it (bc when DONT i analyze shit lol) AND self soothing #tween/YA me #and again… I wish I had someone like me to talk about it :’) #if ur an ex-religious queer person reading this hmu 🤙🏼 #cel speaks #i’m goin thru my buried su tag and i think my gen takes are still based lmao as in I still feel the same abt plot points as i did then #lololol #changed my mind abt amethyst BIG time tho younger Cel u were so dumb she be growin so much fr fr

[acaciapines]

Steven (@PinkDiamondOfficial): okay was anybody going to tell me my account is pink diamond branded or was i supposed to log on and find that out myself.

(Or: the Crystal Gems take on Twitter.)

did anybody ask for a steven universe social media fanfic? no? ...well i wrote one anyways.

#steven universe #su #connie maheswaran #peridot su #lapis au #garnet su #pearl su #amethyst su #i write #i literally like dont have a reason for this existing btw #i just enjoy writing social media fics #even if coding for them is hellish lol #also are you posting another su fic in the year 2022 #and my answer is. look i just rewatched the show #let me have this please

[spiderh0rse]

thinking about loverboy and perfect loverboy as I've been doing for the past two days. Mostly Perfect tbh. (Now that I sit down to say it it's all fled me uhhh)

So Perfect Loverboy. If you want to run with Benrey's metaphors, he's only half snake and only half immune to his own virus?? Metaphor falls apart a little bit my point is he's still hella infected with the ILOVEYOU virus. I like to think he still acts like Loverboy Classic. Still wants to infect people, he just has more reasoning to go "hey wait maybe I shouldn't." Still wants to. It's his nature and all that. I keep accidentally blasting him with my system beam and making his while Thing that he's bodysharing with Gordon B. He's half Gordon B. and entirely him and entirely his own person, same on Benrey's half. Benrey just doesn't occupy that body in any capacity unless Perfect is hangin about.

#Also good god the TRUST Gordon B has to turn to Benrey and go ''yeah okay let's become a single person. im letting you into my brain again'' #''you won't do anything bad this time I trust you'' #MAN. #and like. perfects fighting his nature at all hours but so is Benrey #If they could actually exist independent of each other I bet they'd love each other's company #All three of em #Perfect Loverboy is like garnet steven universe to me. His own person and his components are their own people #But they're also overlapping at the same time that they don't exist #It's so much to me. #Hlvrv #Perfect Loverboy hlvrv #Meta??? Okay tagging that would be a lil weird. Not sure on that.

[borderlinevamp]

Genuinely curious. The TMNT are *turtles.* How can they be 'canonically black'? They're not human to have a race/skin color.

I’m gonna take this as genuine since you said it was.

What I’m talking about is racial coding, obviously, the turtles are turtles but they are often racial coded as black the same way splinter is coded as Asian through their mannerism or in the case of Rise him literally being Asian before he turns. The same could be applied to characters like garnet or Darwin, who have been confirmed as black despite being canonically a mythical creature of some type.

#or basically to say it another way while these characters are obviously not human #they are coded in such a way to obviously repsent a type of ppl that does exist #in the case of splinter it’s because he’s supposed to be a wise ninja #or in garnets case where she clearly is like the wise black mom tropes

[holdharmonysacred]

Man I do think there’s something a little bananas about the recent movement of like. just dunking on and mocking the “su critical” tag. Because first of all, I have checked the actual /tagged/[insert tag name] page for it for funsies, and that things is very inactive these days, to the point where mocking it specifically is beating a dead horse. The tag itself isn’t dead, there are still posts in it, but we’re talking about a tag that gets posts like. maybe once or twice a week? tops? The point is this is a very unthreatening tag, it’s very much a ghost town and it’s kinda dumb to hold it up as The Great Evil Of Discourse when literally no one is discoursing there anymore.

And second of all like... “su critical” is a blacklist tag. It’s a tag you’re meant to pop into your blacklisting function so that you don’t have to see even mild complaints about SU. That’s how all “x media critical” tags work, they quarantine the complaining with an easy-to-block tag so that people complaining about a thing and people who are upset by complaints about a thing don’t have to interact with each other and come to blows. Complaining about the tag Existing is like complaining when people use a content warning tag for character hate. If you wipe tags like it out from existence, you’re not going to get “and then all the complaining magically goes away!” you’re going to get “the complaining is completely impossible to avoid”. (This is also why people would make discourse blogs for SU by the way - it gives them space to complain while allowing them to quarantine it all away from their main blog so that their followers and friends don’t get annoyed and people can more easily block the stuff).

#now obviously the tag quarantining measures weren't perfect in the same ways that no tag quarantines are #you got the /search/ pages picking up ALL mentions of a term with no room for blacklisting #and you got some people who don't bother with tagging or get mad when you ask them to tag or not use the main tags #but those aren't quite the same things as a blacklist tag Existing? #also SU had enough genuine mechanical and thematic issues that it was gonna get volatile no matter what #the show had pretty serious issues with racism from minute one for example #like holy SHIT the garnet and amethyst fusion is super horrifically racist in hindsight. who thought that was a good idea. #and any chance of less heated conversation about the show's fumbles went out the window when the stevenbombs #and hiatus hells started to rev up and turn the fanbase into a pressure cooker #to this day i maintain that the discourse wouldn't have been as infamously volatile as it is had it followed a regular schedule and pace #VS it vanishing into thin air for months on end only to reemerge with a binge bomb made exclusively of filler episodes #even the most flawless of works would be ruined by a release schedule like that

[purplealmonds]

Continuing to fire on all cylinders to make this Sky 🤝Mononoke collab a reality! 🐲⚖️🌊

Process GIFs and artist commentary below the cut. ⬇️

Left: Process GIF Middle: Just the background, cos I really like how it looks! Right: Illustration without the collab logo

And here are my notes on my inspirations and references. There's a lot of 'em, so instead of embedding relevant images one by one I put them in a callout sheet! For accessibility, I also included transcript (with bonus ramblings) below each sheet.

Ofuda circle modeled in Google Sketchup 2017, then lightly transformed in Photoshop to flare out. I tried my best to hand-draw these, but it the results came out really clunky and stiff. I figured if Mononoke shamelessly utilizes 3D in their show, I can too!

Krill and sky kid composition roughly inspired by the Ayakashi DVD cover illustration. On the surface level, the krill's black-and-red color scheme mirrored that of the bake-neko. Not to mention, in the world of Sky, the krill would be the best fit of a mononoke-like entity. The red background is also a nod to the red skies seen during a shard eruption in Sky.

Sky kid gesture based on the Festival Spin Dancer's Tier 3 poses and the Medicine Seller's iconic pose in the Zakishiwarahi episode as inspiration. This was the idea which springboarded this illustration into existence. I wanted to do my take of the Medicine Seller's pose, but in a more dynamic manner: rotate the pose to a profile position and set the ofuda in a diagonal, flared out arrangement.

Cape inspired by tenbin design featured in the 2024 Mononoke movie. This one's an interesting one - I wanted the cape to be a stiff material that doesn't "flap" when in flight - similar to the Aurora wing capes. It ended up looking like a kite of sorts, which I'm not entirely opposed to! I haven't had the opportunity to showcase the back view of this cape design, but I envision it having some mechanical aspects to it - the "wing" which are flared out in this illustration fold in like moth wings, and a little bell is attached to the "tail" part and it jingles a little whenever the sky kid flaps!

Bandana is based on the Scaredy Cadet's hairstyle from the Season of Assembly. Mask design utilizes the 2023 Days of Style mask and the Nintendo Pack mask as bases. Pretty self-explanatory. I basically went onto the Sky wiki and found the cosmetics that most closely matched what I was looking for. Then if necessary, I went to the Office space to do photoshoots to get the appropriate camera angles for them all.

Seasonal pendant inspired by the classic Medicine Seller's necklace and the eye motif featured in the 2024 Mononoke movie. Possibly the only one-to-one homage to the classic Medicine Seller design here, but his garnet necklace was too good of a match to the seasonal pendant. A side tangent: does the new Medicine Seller possess a necklace, let alone a mirror? So far all the shots of him don't feature it. Fascinating.

Dark dragon krill anatomy references a custom figurine crafted by @/escaflowne_n07 on Twitter. Until I found this, I was honestly at a loss finding reference for this - be it on the internet or during in-game photoshoots. The lighting on the krill in-game focused on its menacing silhouette rather than its structure. And not to mention, getting a close-up shot almost always set off the dark creature's aggro. I have no idea how this guy found the references to put this model together - well done!

Mantas, elder constellations, and sun dog references murals in the Cave of Prophecy. Krill aside, the overall illustration was leaning a little too much towards Mononoke so I tried finding opportunities to insert more Sky into it. Added bonus is that now there's storytelling in the background: during a shard eruption, a giant krill rises from the frothing waves of dark water to hunt down a flock of mantas.

Clouds behind the sun dog reference the ones featuring heavily in the Umibozu episode. This illustration has a lot of ocean theming, so I figured this would be appropriate.

Rendering style of the background is lightly inspired by the 2007 Mononoke illustration. Mainly having a 2D inked style to contrast with the more polished render of the sky kid. Funnily enough, this was a tertiary inspiration, which lead to the discovery in the next point!

Dark water waves and sun dog composition heavily references Hokusai's "The Great Wave". The waves were modified to be bottle-green of the Golden Wasteland's dark waters. The sun dog is in the spot where Mt. Fuji is in the original composition. these were all hand-drawn by the way! I merely emulated the style of the source material. As a side note, I also borrowed the spotted sea spray rendering for the krill's red spotlight.

Background pattern taken from the ofuda design featured in the 2024 Mononoke movie poster. Mainly to add some gritty texture to the sky. I worked pretty hard to replicate this ofuda design as a high-res asset so I wanted to use it more!

#モノノ怪 #mononoke 2024 #mononoke 2007 #kusuriuri #medicine seller #thatskygame #sky cotl #sky children of the light #thatgamecompany #thatskygame fanart #sky cotl fanart #crossover #purplealmonds #2023

[katsukiizmoon]

Katsuki Bakugo x F!Reader | 18+ | Royal ! AU

Synopsis: The years have flown by with Katsuki, who fills your body and mind with fire. You'll keep him with you till the day you die and then after that, thanking whatever deities there are for him. Maybe you were put on this earth to love him, like every other lifetime.

Tags: Prince!Bakugo, Characters aged up, Reader & Katsuki are sexually inexperienced, Virginity loss, Smut, Unprotected sex, lovey dovery, mushy gushy, parents don't approve, kissing, flirting, general cute shit, fluff, happy ending, praise

Word Count: 5.7k

A/N: Holy fuck I wrote this in one day. I don't even know how I just kept writing and writing. I need to go get food now because I forgot to eat. This is so sickingly sweet your teeth are going to rot man. One suggestive scene, one smut scene, and a lot of praise. Kinda wanna do a part two to this...

Your feet press into the grass below you, twisting as you turn to view Katsuki. His face glows in the morning sun, specks of what looks like stardust grace his cheeks and  your breath catches in your throat. He’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever laid eyes on in your twenty-three years of existence. For a moment, you truly soak in the idea of being put on this god forsaken planet just to meet him. Him, who sweeps your feet out from under you and lets you fall instead of catching you. There’s something otherworldly about his entire being and you’re positive you’ve loved him in every over life you’ve lived.

You run, feet digging into the dirt and thin dress bouncing as you do so. And you turn again, just to look at him. Who stands tall and broad, shoulders square and eyes forward at all times. Who raises a brow at you with a scoff as your hand reaches toward him. And your feet catch up under you, tripping on one another as you plummet to the ground. Dirt smears onto the side of your leg and a sprig of grass presses into your nose. Air knocked out of you, you lay heaving and looking up to where the stars once were and where they will be again.

“Goddamnit! I told you not to go running around, clumsy ass.” Katsuki hurries over in a few quick strides and peers over at you.

And god may the heavens, the hells, and anything between save your poor soul. His hair falls from his forehead, deep garnet eyes bore into your own and you think you’re going to die. You’ll do anything for him, in any moment, for just a taste of his partially chapped lips.  His teeth dig into his bottom lip, then he releases the poor flesh, and his mouth opens. Then closes. Then it opens again and closes. This time, however, his jaw clenches as he does so. A thick palm reaches towards you for a moment and you take it.

“That was fun.” You gleam, with a toothy smile.

“No, honey, that was you being a dumbass.” He reminds.

“Oh yeah?” You grin, teeth dipping into your bottom lip as you ponder a thought. His brows raise before his eyes narrow.  The cherry irises dig a hole in your soul and call it home, planting little seeds of wanderlust there. He knows you’re planning something.

Katsuki can tell by the way your fingers twitch like you’re resisting an inch, the uncontrollable grin spreading across your face. What he doesn’t know is what you’re planning. The gods have truly blessed him with a wild one, he thinks. Of all the rules he is expected to follow within the kingdom he lives, you are not one of them. His parents threw a toddler sized hissy fit when they started noticing the blush spreading across your cheeks when he was around. Their voices raising in anger, fists smacking down on the thick oak table that was meticulously crafted for only the most exquisite dinners. He denied it over and over, still to this day does, swearing on every book of worship he can that there’s “nothing there”.

But you both know it’s a lie. Hell- everyone- knows it’s deception. His mother, who cannot for the life of her understand, and his father- whom pinches his nose in stress every time he gets home late. They can see it in the glances you steal from the world towards one another. Or the extra plate he fixes himself, only to excuse himself to his “room” and not return for another three hours. After what felt like decades of fighting, it seems they’ve began to give up, on him. On the idea that he would drop your fragile, beautiful beating heart to the ground and allow it to weep and mourn the death of your blossoming union. As he’d rather kill them both, stealing the crown for the two of you, than he would lose your trust.

Within the few seconds he spent, gawking at the beauty of your everything, he forgot something important.

You were planning something.

Were.

Your hands grip onto him, foot, sliding to the back of his ankle to sweep him off his feet and onto the ground. Katsuki lands hard and you fall atop him. With a yelp and a groan, he looks at you incredulously.

“What the fuc-“ Katsuki starts.

You do not budge, allowing your body to lay between his bent legs, pressing your hands on his chest to keep him still. Your palms slide over the thin fabric of his shirt, feeling the muscle underneath, and up towards his throat. Your fingers make claim around his jaw area, two behind his head and thumbs directly on his jaw. It is there that your lips and teeth profess their yearning for every piece of his beautiful being. Every part of him, you want to drown in. You breathe in his essence and soak it deep into the marrow of your bone, where it will stay forever. Traveling up your lovers throat and jaw, you make your way to his lips.

Neither of you thought you’d crave someone saliva so much in your life. But his lips, his tongue- your lips, your tongue- is sweeter than any syrup made from flowers and honey. It is a miracle the two of you have not simply passed away from being without one another. It has only been a week since you’ve kissed, only one. He swore he’d be back and you swore you’d kill him if he didn’t show. And when his tooth nips the right corner of your bottom lip, something feral and raw bubbles up in your blood. It’s hot and thick and makes you want to cry and beg and confess your love all at once.

Something about it drives you crazy and you truly feel like banging your head against the thick, stone walls, of the castle would be of use. Maybe it would soothe the ache that wells deep within the pits of your  tummy and rushes down your legs and up your spine like fire. Where it controls you, takes over you, consumes you. And you’ve felt it once before, when he’d pressed you against a castle wall near the kitchen and kissed you so hard your lips felt like they’d bruise. Before he stalked down the hallway, head high, shoulders back, nodding to the person rounding the corner. He left that day, for the week- his mother sending him somewhere for swordsman skills.

A moan bubbles in the back of his throat when your hands lay purchase in the tufts of his thick hair. You pull, wanting him to be closer than ever before. His solid arms wrap around your torso and squeeze  as the two of you begin huffing thin breaths of air into your lungs. You still feel as if you cannot get enough of him, like something is missing, and you’re going to go insane. The stars above have graced you with a lot of things- patience is not one of them and never will be. So your lips begin to suck on the crook of his neck, wanting to live there for eons.

Blue and purple blossoms against the skin and electricity shoots through the marrow of your bones when a groan escapes his pretty lips. Fuck. You want to do it again, and again, and again until your lips are sore and cannot go on. So you start again and relish in his fingers pressing future bruises into  your hips. The charcoal grey top he has on turns a deeper shade, almost black, with the sweat from the both of you.

“Oh god-“ He whimpers out, as you pull your body up closer to him, thigh dragging across his crotch. His hips buck into the touch and you squeal, pulling back to take a breath.

With that, the two of you begin to call it quits, laying between the grass and stray dandelions, heaving. Your chests rise and fall sporadically and Katsuki is spending an extra moment gathering himself. The sun his high in the sky and when you straddle him he thinks he’s in heaven with the glow around your figure.

“Told you it was fun!” You giggle out, thumb grazing over his jaw as you marvel at his beauty.

Katsuki thanks the stars, the moon, the grass, the sun- everything for you. The wild spirit that told him to “take it easy” and shoved him down on the ground to claim his soul as hers. He’d spent hours training, doing anything and everything his parents asked of him. Sit up, walk straight, elbows off the table. But there was something burning in his core that begged to be fed, to be given just a twig here and there, something that allowed him to feel free. Then you, you came strutting through the castle with a basket of his clothing already folded. Muttering to yourself about how stupidly big the place was and how he was an asshole for not knowing how to “fold his own fucking draws”.

When you yelled at him for messing up your pile of neatly folded clothing, he thought he was hearing things. At first he was angry, as the prince, it was not your place to speak to him that way. But the other part of him wanted to worship you for seeing him like any and every other human being on the face of the earth. So he requested you more and slowly the bickering between the two of you became play fighting. The play fighting made its valiant transition into a peck on the lips here or there, or red cheeks while the other did even miscellaneous tasks.

His mother and father had always urged him to find love, offering him suitors of all shapes and sizes and races and kingdoms. They were all pretty in some manner, like Lillia, who made a crown of flowers for him as a gift. But he couldn’t bring himself to be anything other than angry with them. They wanted a spot on the throne, which was okay, it was the way of the people. However, Katsuki felt nausea bubble in the back of his mouth like acid reflux any time they did anything for him or attempted to get near him. Eventually, family determined he would just be without marriage, and would be required to lie with someone eventually for grandchildren.

You, however, oh lord, you. With angry words and a quick temper, soft plush lips and eyes that made him feel small. You were wild and broke every fucking rule set in front of you. He begs, for you, and only you. He’d break every bone in his body thrice and be confined to mashing grapes for the finest of wines for eons if it meant you gave him the time of the day. He’d do anything.

Later, the two of you are minding your own, going about the day without worry. You’re tending to some treats he requested for the room, a platter of sweets and fresh tea. When he waltzes into the room in a daze, amazed at your skill in pastry making once again. He checks behind him and closes the door.

“You, my love, will be the death of me.” Katsuki sighs, taking a bite out of a fresh fruit tart. He begins placing three sugar cubes into the glass to his right and one in his own, with a clink. You’re a sweet thing and your taste in tea is no different.

“Hmm? How so?” You ponder, stretching your shoulders.

Katsuki pulls off the shirt he’s wearing, a new one, to reveal multiple splotches of red and purple across his skin. Your mouth falls agape, in awe. You reach out to him, lightly smoothing the pads of your fingers over the bruising. Part of you feels guilty while something crude in your mind grins at the sight.

“Oh- fuck- I’m sorry! I got carried away.” You mumble, making a note to receive a fresh pack of ice to tend to it soon.

“It’s fine, asswipe.” He rolls his eyes.

It wasn’t the normal for the two of you. You’d never done that before. A peck on the lips here or there, occasionally if he was leaving off somewhere he’d kiss you harder, but you’d never gone that far before. Never had you’d allowed the beast in your soul to begin taking over, for a short amount of time. But god, you craved it again, again, again. He’d never find that out though, certainly. As you’d keep it locked away tight in the confines of your mind.

You return back to your duties for the day and do indeed make sure he receives a pack of ice for the bruising. He thanks you with another eye roll but you miss the way he stares at your body as you walk away. The day is filled with miscellaneous tasks such as tidying your own cabin, clearing plates and dusting the halls of the castles. As you approach the dining area, tea cups and kettle in hand, you overhear conversation.

“And what in heavens name is that on your collar, Katsuki?” His mother inquires, clearly unhappy. The metal clinks against the glass plates as someone sets a utensil down.

“Burned myself when I was working on blacksmith skills, damn.” Katsuki bites back.

“Uh-huh. I don’t believe you, have you been with Lillia?” She wonders loudly, taking a last bite of her dinner.

Your chest stings at the thought but you remind yourself that it is not your place. The dining area smells of fresh roast and potatoes, drizzled in gravy, and light dust from workers walking in and out of the room.

“Now why the hell would I be with her? I told you, I don’t like any of them, fuck off.” He grits, taking a gulp of water as he does so.

You take this as your chance to enter the room,  tea tray in hand. As you do, you give Katsuki a pointed look, before placing the tray on the center of the table and grabbing any excess dishes to hand off to the dishwashers. Katsuki grabs a sweet off the tray and places it, not so gently, onto the smaller plate in front of him.

“These are amazing, my favorite.” He murmurs, grabbing three sugar cubes and placing them in the tea cup.

His parents watch in awe as he does so, only to see him realize his mistake and take two out, putting them back in the glass container full of the little cubes. He grabs the fresh mesh sachel of herbs, tossing them into the ceramic and slowly pours piping hot water over them. The small spoon to his right is used to stir the sugar in and he waits for it to steep.

“Thanks, y/n.” He says, and you begin walking away with the dishes after a quick nod of your head.

“Dear god the tension in this room is so thick I can cut it with a fucking knife!” His mother gawks, flabbergasted at the sight in front of her. Her own tea has began to steep by this point and you continue making your way to the exit of the dining hall. As soon as you walk through the door, a sigh of relief escapes your lips and your mouth speaks without your permission.

“Fuck.” You groan, leaning against the castle wall.

It is later, with the sun saying goodbye as it sets across the horizon, you sit after a fresh washing in a floral nightgown. A knock at your door startles you, until you hear the familiar grunt of Katsuki’s presence. Swiftly, you make your way to the door and open it with a creak.

You couldn’t really complain about your job, working at the castle. You were provided with a cabin, with all the essentials and excellent thick blankets to accommodate for winter. Your pay was small, but gave you more than enough to buy necessities and some amount of décor to keep your humble home looking alive. Possibly the best part, however, was the small garden like are that came with the cabin, fenced in. You spent all of your first pay, years ago, buying essential seeds and garden accessories. It truly helped more than anyone could ever imagine when times were tough.

Katsuki steps in, taking care to lock the door behind him as he kicks his shoes off and begins taking the unnecessary items off of his body. He keeps the earrings, though, that are shaped like moons and cling to his ears in a cuff. The thin gold chain stays wrapped around his neck, but everything else is taken off and tossed to the side. He pulls down the backpack like tote from over his shoulder and places it on the floor, along with a big paper bag that crinkles as it sits.

“Whatcha doin?” You wonder, reaching your hands around his back to pull off the thick belt his parents make him wear.

“Brought a couple things, wanted ta see you. We only got a couple  hours today and I’ve been gone for a fuckin’ week.” He grumbles and begins reaching into the bag.

You head to the small sofa to your right, picking up a steeping cup of chamomile tea off of the coffee table in front of you and sitting down.  The sofa is a little rough, but you bought a nice throw pillow or two and some plush blankets to increase comfort. You take joy that Katsuki has never mentioned the state of your home, except when you first began living there. He was an ass about it, then, but only because you had no allowance for food in your budget that week and he thought you were god awful at budgeting due to it.

He sits with you, propping his feet on the table and pulls out a fresh container full of pot roast for you to eat. Next, a bunch of seeds and fertilizer for your garden. Finally, he reaches deep into the bag and pulls out a thin, long box with velvet across the top of it. His name is engraved atop it, in gold lettering.

Your brows quirk up at that, body perking at the idea of what could be in that box. Your prayers to the stars are answered when he opens it to reveal a thin, dainty anklet. Gold, like a chain, with rubies in the shape of diamonds grace it.  There’s a thin plate, with his name engraved into it on one side and on the other, it says “to eternity”. Your jaw begins to drop as confusion and shock spreads its wings across your face. He picks it up with thick fingers, and then grabs the inside of your calf, pulling it to the side and lifting up your foot. It’s subtle, the anklet. Not many will notice what it is, or care enough to see that it’s even there.

His fingers fiddle with the little piece of jewelry and you realize he is nervous as he fixes it around your left ankle.

And oh, Katsuki is. He’s so fucking nervous he feels like his heart is going to explode. None of his lucky stars told him it would be this terrifying to do something like this. No one warned him about the way his palms would sweat, the room would heat up, and his heart would lurch into his throat and make him want to run. But you’re everything he’s ever wanted, ever needed in life. He’s never been good with words, never been affectionate, and god he doesn’t know what to do with himself when you’re around. His soul suddenly feels fragile, like it never has before. As if it is a thin cylinder of glass in the palms of your dainty hands, that could shatter at any moment. You’re looking at him, confused, pretty little mouth open and cup of tea still in hand.

When he finishes, he thinks about saying he’s going to take a bath. But his hair is still wet from the one he just took in his own home. He only had all that junk on because his mother didn’t want him walking out of the castle without it.  So when his eyes meet yours, he croaks. He means to speak, means to tell you all the things he loves about you. From your hair, your nose, lips, personality, love for nature- everything. But he doesn’t, he just wordlessly gawks at you like a deer caught in headlights.

Your lips are on his, hot and heavy. Your cup of tea is all but forgotten as you smacked it down on the table. It has taken you both 8years to get to this point, four to be exact. Never did you think you’d be launching yourself onto the princes lap and trying to press your very souls together. He gasps out in shock and you lay purchase on his chest, sliding your hands under his shirt and up, touching anything you can get your hands on. Your lips trail down his jaw, behind his ear, and the expanse of his neck.

His throat feels like it’s going to close up, blood hot from your body pressing against his. One of your legs swings over onto each side of him, pressing your middles together while you leave more purple bruises up and down his throat. Both of your middles are hot, you think you might melt into him. Like hot lava, that same electricity jolts through your body as you’d accidentally pressed your crotches together and rocked forward. And oh, that felt good. He’s making noises underneath you, fingers digging into the skin of your plush bum and he thinks he’s going to hell in a handbasket.

And he’ll do it happily if he dies like this.

Your nightgown leaves little to the imagination, which certainly doesn’t help him out in this situation. He’s as hard as a rock and never experienced pleasure on this plane of existence before. Typically pleasure for him was spending a little time tucked away in his bedroom, with his hand and his imagination. He never really thought about anything, though. Occasionally he’d think about the way your lips felt on his and begin to wander with those thoughts, before calling  himself a an uncouth man and avoiding it. His parents never really talked with him about.. pleasure so to speak. They spoke of lying with someone as a chore, a duty, never mentioning that it could be pleasurable even once.

But now? He’s addicted to you. His body feels hot all over as you lightly grind the your clothed crotch against his own. His trousers are thin, as are your undergarments and he thinks he’s going to explode because you’re wet. You’re so wet you’re beginning to seep through the thin fabric of your plain, cotton panties and he thinks he’s on fucking fire. He can feel it. Your lips and tongue are all over his neck and he’s breathing heavier than he did when training for hours in the summer heat.

He’s spent his entire life chasing a high only to find that his one and only drug is feeling in love. And god, he needs his fix of you, or he’ll go mad and destroy kingdoms until the day he dies searching for you. His body feels like it’s been pulled on a string, the center of his chest lighter than it has ever been in his twenty four years of life, may he forever feel this.

Your break away from him to take a moment to breathe and in the process yank off his shirt. Muttering “I need to see you or I’ll die” and he swears he hears you whisper the words “so beautiful” when it finally comes off. Your arms wrap around, up under his own to drag your nails down the planes of his back. He lets out a gasp, sitting up and flipping you onto your back, hand cradling the back of your head so it doesn’t hurt. You look at him like he created the constellations in the sky and he almost cries when you moan. His cherry eyes, deep and startling, rake down the picture of you and focus on your lips.

They’re puffy, slick with spit and he needs a taste or he’ll starve to death.

By the time his lips are on yours, your lips flutter shut and he’s muttering out praise between kisses. Your nimble fingers slide into his hair and grip like you’ll float away without it. His hips kick forward at that, sliding against your covered and slick folds in the process. A moan falls off your lips and it wraps its lustful embrace around his throat because he makes a strangled noise. The deities, whomever, whatever they are must be real because he’s experiencing euphoria and heaven and hell all at once and it must be punishment and reward for his past lives.

“You’re so fucking- fuck” He gets out, and when you hear a whimper leave his lips something takes a hold of you like you’re a puppet.

Your hands move on their own, reaching down between you,  for you to do something licentious, that if anyone in the kingdom knew about they’d call you names. And they make their way between your bodies, gripping onto his erection and moving your palm up and down a little. It isn’t a lot but it’s enough that Katsuki moans like he’s desperate and almost in pain. His fingers find stability in the plush blanket beneath you and he grips for dear life.  And oh, my god, you feel the electricity in the air now. You can almost see it.

You’ve never wanted something so bad as you want him. In every meaning of that word, you want him. You yearn for him to claim your body like it is his, and only his, and you’d die happy. His fingers release their death grip on the blanket and instead, one hand trails up your night gown while the other props his thumb on your cheek. Your body is hot all over and you already need another bath after this, you think. You’re not thinking clearly, fog clouds your discretion and you begin acting rather than thinking. Inhibition lowered, you guide his thumb to your lips and palm at him a bit more roughly.

His jaw drops open at the sight in front of him. Your hair is a mess, nightgown hiked up, and you begin to suck on his thumb with spit slick lips. Your eyes peer into the depths of  his soul as you do it, half lidded, and intentional. It is lewd, provocative, and he’s on cloud nine. Your ministrations are becoming more sure, more certain with every second that passes by as sounds leave him. But he’s always been a bit competitive, a little proud, and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t make you feel good, too.

Your lips forget their task when his fingers press between your soaked, cloth-clad, folds. A sound you didn’t know you could make tells him he should keep going and he begins testing the waters. First he moves up and down, from the top to bottom, in the center, and you respond okay to it. It feels good but like something is missing. So, he tries something new, using two fingers to work in circular motions, feeling around. Something about it feels right even if he has no idea what he’s doing.

Your hips jolt, legs shaking and you begin singing expletives in response to his movements. His cock jumps in his pants with every sound you make and it takes everything in him not to jolt forward and press the tip of it against the heat in front of him. At this point, you’re biting on your lip, when you use your hands to yank him closer to you, nails digging in. He continues working you and you find sanity by biting as hard as you can into his shoulder, hiccupping from pleasure that is so good it almost hurts.

“Fuck- I love you. God I love you .” Katsuki pushes out, voice hoarse and searching for your response.

When you say it back, you repeat it like a broken record. Hiccuping, as a tears begin to well in your eyes from how good you feel. But you could feel better and you know you could. You both know you could and fuck it. You both need this. You’re addicts who can’t stop getting high off of one another’s scent and existence. Inhaling sweet fruit tart like aromas you both can’t get enough of. Your lungs burn when he isn’t around, your body aching and begging for the love of your life to come closer again. You’ve never been a romantic, never in your life, but this has to be love because you’d rid of every star in the goddamn sky to make room for him to be the brightest.

The sun pales in comparison to what happens next.

You squirm under his touch and remove his hand, he pauses, confused. Worry walks its way across his face and his mouth opens to say something until you hook your fingers into your panties and begin sliding them down. The moment he realizes where you’re taking this, he loses all control of himself and rips the side of them so that they hang off of your right ankle. You take pride in how desperate he becomes when he searches your eyes for an answer. You confirm and he is holding onto his sanity with a very thin string.

The string is going to snap one day, and, when it does, he’s going to take everything his kingdom has to offer and give it to you. He’ll search every corner of the earth and give you anything you wish for.

“I want you inside me, Katsuki” You whimper out and the string gets pulled a little tighter, a little closer to snapping.

“Oh my god.” He groans, yanking his own bottoms off and crawling between your legs.

Katsuki figures you’ve never done this, like him, but he read a book once that said it can hurt if you’re not prepared. So he starts slow, with one finger, sliding it in and out. One finger becomes two and he begins feeling around until a certain “come here” motion has you throw your head back and gasp. Your legs begin to shake and he’s so unbelievably in love, he realizes. Because as much pleasure as it brings him, he thinks about getting you another pillow so your head won’t hurt.

“You’re-“ You gasp, and he sits back on his heels.

He grip his cock with a firm hand at the base, pushing the tip in and he’s big. He’s so much bigger than you’d thought. You’re so full, to the brim, going to spill over if he keeps going and it stings but you don’t want him to stop. You can’t fathom this high ever ending.

He begins talking you through it, while he tries to grab onto the last little inkling of his sanity.

“Such a good girl- so good- you can do it baby you can do it.” He mutters out, kissing all over your face.  When his fingers come down to work in circular motions, you’re done for. Something has you pulled up by rope and everything goes black for a moment, and you’re floating. Nothing in the world matters as much as him, to you. Nothing matters except here and now where he’s got his length fully pressed to the hilt in side of you.

When you start squeezing inside of him, repeatedly, his hips speed up, and he realizes he’s going to cum. His mouth betrays him and he starts rambling on, desperate for release. His hips frantically smacking into yours as he watches your eyes roll to the back of your head. You keep saying you love him, that he’s good, that he’s perfect, muttering it all to yourself and you don’t realize he can hear it all. The praise fills his veins and courses through his heart like it is made to be there. It has made itself a home in his soul and he will never let it go. He doesn’t care if he has to lock it down in a cage and throw the key away.

“Gonna make you mine-you’re mine. My pretty girl, my love, g’nna steal the stars in the sky n give ‘em to you- fuck, you’re so pretty, I love you, love you.” He rambles, filling you to the brim with cum.

The pair of you sit after and bask in post-sex glow. You’re going to take the water from the sea and find a way to turn it to wine, so he’ll understand how drunk you get off of looking at his eyes. You’re going to give him anything and everything he’s ever wanted in this world because he is all you have ever wanted.  The moon sits high in the sky, watching over the two lovers she blessed herself, gracing them. You’re going to start a shrine out of gratefulness, for him.

His hair looks like the sunrise and his eyes remind you of cherries straight off the plant, attitude like fire and chili peppers, and his body is made of only the most beautiful minerals.

He looks like he’s going to cry when he has to leave early that morning, to tend to all of his duties. But he kisses you hard before he goes, saying he’ll miss you like the stars miss their loved one when it goes nova. And when you watch him walk away flowers bloom in your chest. The thorns prick at your heart and you tell them it’s okay. He leaves straightens his shoulders, keeps his eyes forward and walks  through the castle halls later that day with a grin. His parents begin to chastise him for being out late again and he promptly tells them to kick rocks.

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[alexiethymia]

a flower by any other name would taste as poisonous

A butterfly flaps its wings and a hurricane happens in a far-off place. 

In this case an old eunuch decides to take a different route from his usual one. It takes him by the Garnet Palace, where he’s just in time to stop a loving attendant from feeding an infant a spoonful of honey. Sufficiently warned, the attendant never bears the crushing weight of guilt for the rest of her life. 

The infant still dies though. It’s nothing surprising. Infants before a certain age would always be vulnerable and susceptible to natural illnesses. It is no one’s fault. 

If the child still died though, what did this change? Surprisingly, a lot. 

Eight years later a boy is crying after having a favorite toy taken from him once again. 

A girl, merely a year younger than him, asks him in a dispassionate tone where it hurts. 

Startled, the boy stops crying. Eyes shining, he looks at this girl who resembles a wood sorrel and decides she’s his new favorite. 

How is it that those two seemingly random encounters could lead to this particular scene, one resembling a painting?

On one side, an existence like a celestial nymph, voice of sweet honey, a beauty that could topple nations if he so wished.

One would think that no one could compare, and yet the beauty on the other side was not overshadowed. She was a vision no less stunning for she was once known as a top courtesan of the pleasure district. 

It was perhaps fortunate that no one was a witness to this display for no one could hope to count how many hapless victims would be felled by such visions of loveliness. 

As to what these beauties were doing, no one could have guessed for in between them stood a single Go board.

tap

tap

“I must admit that while I was expecting a visit from his Imperial highness soon, I didn’t think it would be for this.”

The celestial nymph flushed. 

“Apologies for taking some of your precious time, Feng Xian-dono.”

tap

tap

The unfettered beauty took her time deciding her next move. The man who was also called Jinshi did not fool himself into thinking it was because he was a worthy opponent. Although he was used to using his excellent looks as a weapon, why is it that before this woman he felt as if he were merely a mouse being played with? A finely sculpted brow conveyed enough with one gesture. He felt as if he were playing two games at the same time.

“And? What is so important that the Prince of the Moon felt the need to risk Lakan’s wrath to come here? Why, you even roped Lahan into this plan of yours.” The cold beauty didn’t smile but he had a sense that she was amused.

Jinshi wondered. Did he rope Lahan or did that miser rope him? It didn’t matter. Shaking his head, he hoped he was equally composed when he answered, “I must admit it was that esteemed personage’s recommendation that sent me your way. Aside from him, only you could fight on equal ground with our honored strategist.”

tap

tap

Seemingly bored but only just, such that she could not be accused of disrespecting him, his opponent continued her queries, “And? Surely, you don’t hope to best that girl at a game of Go? She has utterly no interest at the game. It’s a wonder if she takes after us at all. I often wonder how she came to be so uncute, though of course Lakan would disagree.”

Jinshi would as well. Or to be more accurate, he both agreed and disagreed. While that girl was often distant, on the whole he could not help but find her adorable.

And from the shadow of a smile he could spy on his opponent’s face, he gathered that she was much the same, and could only dote on her daughter in this roundabout way. Although parent and child both claimed no similarity, he thought in this manner you could not doubt their familial tie.

Likewise with her father, though she only had disdain for the man (not that it would stop that eccentric’s entreaties to be called Papa from happening, thought Jinshi with a shiver). He’ll leave it up to Gaoshun to commiserate. 

That wary cat only showed affection for her honored grand uncle. In much the same way, as much as she protested, she and her sire were a lot alike. There was also their utter disinterest in anyone ordinary and unexceptional.

Like him.

Any other family would have accepted just by virtue of who he was. But it mattered not to this particular family who cared not for prestige or power. This family was content to keep to itself and occupied with its members’ various obsessions. Rather than consider it an honor to be connected to the noble line of the rulers of this nation, Jinshi thought that Lakan rather saw him as some annoying fly. 

And for that annoying fly to not only buzz around his beloved daughter but also to dare be in the proximity of his beloved wife, the only two people that eccentric fawned over and adored with all his heart, ah surely this was a perilous gamble indeed. 

But for an ordinary person like Jinshi, no Ka Zui Getsu, this was the only thing he could do.

Ironic that when he wanted it most, he could not rely on this excellent appearance of his, the only thing extraordinary about him. This family cared not a whit for that. At first he had wondered why that apothecary continued to be unaffected by him, but to have someone like this for a mother, he realizes she must have already been bored by the sight. (She had actually scoffed at him after they had seen each other once again in the rear palace.)

It left him scrambling, but also strangely relieved. 

“It’s not that I want to best her. At most I hope to be on equal footing.” Slightly abashed, he shakes his head. “In truth, it is our honored strategist whom I wish to have a match with. Though it may be impossible, the Sage tells me my best hope lie with the only person to have bested the Grand Commandant more times than even him.” 

Seemingly intrigued if the slight lifting of one brow indicated such, the once courtesan inquired, “Oh? And to what end if I may ask?”

How to answer.

Grappling with something in himself, Jinshi finally admitted, “Merely to be acknowledged, I suppose. To be seen and recognized.”

To be accepted. 

By whom, his companion seemed content not to ask if the curl of her mouth was any indication.

Maomao had often complained (though she would deny it with a blank look if asked) in a bland tone that she thought she must surely be adopted by the one she called father, for surely she had no resemblance to this beauty in front of him. Chicken bones she called herself. (Incidentally, she was adamant that she was not ugly enough to be related to the fox. She was, in her own view, perfectly normal. Jinshi almost spat out his tea upon hearing this if only it wasn’t unbefitting his station.) 

But seeing what could pass for an amused look on this normally expressionless face, Jinshi for the first time in front of another great beauty, blushed for he could only see traces of the one he yearned for in this visage. 

Truly, they were mother and daughter indeed. 

He was caught in a daydream of a scene years into the future, with Maomao dressed in such finery, of when he could finally lavish her with all his attentions as he pleased. 

tap

tap

The harsh clack of the Go stones brought him back from his musings and his attention onto the board. Upon seeing how he was completely dominated, he let out a deep sigh. 

“A long way to go, your highness.”

As if echoing his thoughts, an imperious voice declared his resounding defeat. If not for the twinkle in her eye he could detect, he would no doubt feel as if he was not even worth the heel of her shoe, never mind that he was the current Imperial heir. Distantly, he wonders if this was the sight that bewitched and entrapped that eccentric so long ago. 

Privately laughing at his own folly, he decides he was no better for it was the same look from that tiny wood sorrel that sealed his fate. Flowers could heal, but they could also be poisonous. He knew better than most. No matter. Regardless of the outcome, he would swallow her whole.

Truly there was a long way to go before he could turn that dream into anything close to reality. He doesn’t mind tasting defeat again and again for the chance of victory one day. 

Once more, he resets the board.

notes:

Jinshi and the Imperial brother are still switched at birth so he still doesn’t know who he really is.

The imperial brother still dies in infancy but not so soon after his birth. Since Luomen manages to stop the honey incident, the tragedy with Aduo’s head maidservant doesn’t happen later on. He doesn’t get punished nor does he get driven out.

Because he doesn’t get driven out, Lakan isn’t pressured into a military expedition to reclaim the honor of the family. He manages to redeem Feng Xian immediately.

Lakan still somehow ends up the head since his younger brother doesn’t really see himself suited to the position. He still ends up taking the headship from his father probably because Feng Xian was insulted or something and he wants to spoil her. His father and sister-in-law probably still end up leaving on their own like in the original timeline rather than being driven away. One way or another, Maomao, Rahan and Rahan-nii end up being raised together.

Maomao is still the same. Sure, she’s raised as a noble lady but she still spends half of her life at the pleasure district with Feng Xian, her sisters and penny-pinching granny. I doubt Lakan would stop them since this isn’t a conventional family after all.

Luomen probably sneaks in town undercover to still be an apothecary for those who might need it most, with Maomao accompanying him.

Since Maomao is raised as a noble, one way or another she ends up as Jinshi’s playmate. Of course, Jinshi still ends up attached. And of course Lakan puts a stop to it as soon as he can. It doesn’t have anything to do with any political maneuvering. He’s just an overprotective papa.

Maomao still ends up in the rear palace, this time as Luomen’s apprentice so of course she ends up crossing paths with Jinshi once again when they’re older.

And so the adventures of the young prince and apothecary still continue, fates still intertwined.

#jinmao #maomao x jinshi #kusuriya no hitorigoto #knh #the apothecary diaries #jinshi #maomao #fengxian #a preventable and inevitable tragedy #we already had a mother and daughter-in-law talk #I wanted to imagine a mother and son-in-law talk #I can’t even imagine the interactions with fengxian #let’s admit it both jinshi and lakan are just simps *coughs coughs* masochists for their loves who would sooner look at them like a bug #au #fic #ficlet #fanfiction #writing #kusuriya no hitorigoto spoilers #the apothecary diaries spoilers #knh spoilers

[novantinuum]

jen's "Hard-Light Hybrid Steven" headcanon dump

Okay so I'm just making this its own post, because frankly at this point... the original post is so hard to get all the pulp out of due to the headcanons being spread over multiple reblogs and half of it being in the tags.

So here we go. Self indulgent headcanon time. This is how I'm now personally interpreting things within the realm of my own fic work and the post-canon storylines that live in my mind. This is NOT, however, a work of meta- I am by no means suggesting this to be what I see as "canon," only having some fun playing around with ideas I think are cool on a speculative fantasy anatomy level. Take it as you will basically, lol. This is ultimately just for me.

With that stated:

"jen what the fuck do you mean when you say hard-light hybrid Steven, what are you even suggesting"

Essentially I am proposing that Steven becomes progressively more hard-light based in form as he ages. When he was born he was two almost entirely separate halves mashed together- organic and gem- and those two halves slowly but surely merge over the years (hard light replacing organic matter) until one day they are literally inseparable, and Steven is one permanently cohesive being... entirely hewn from hard-light, but with a level of anatomical complexity that still makes him a complete anomaly amongst Gems and humans alike. Instead of the innards of his body being solid light, he is still formed of cells- only now, those cells are entirely hard-light.

His gem is somehow mimicking the form of organic matter with a level of detail that's absolutely unobtainable by shapeshifting or tailored reformation alone. Steven has become the single most complex hard-light system to have ever existed.

Some more specifics on how I imagine this merge working:

Much of the "merging" is natural over time, basically his gem branching out new bits of hard-light circuitry within his body as it integrates within his system.

However, this process is sped up significantly by all the spills and injuries Steven deals with throughout his childhood... because his body's instinctive response to injury is simply to replace damaged cells with hard-light analogues. An almost instantaneous patch job.

Steven's component halves being so distinct early on is a large reason why he takes so long to harness many of his powers.

This is also why Steven's (mostly) organic half is so weakened during the split in Change Your Mind- at that point there's a lot about his anatomy that's been converted to hard-light, so it's basically as if White Diamond yanked the power source out.

(Same idea for why he's so weakened during the movie when his gem's on the fritz... his gem's connection with the rest of his body got partially severed for a time, which. Is not Good for someone who at this point is more hard-light than not hard light.)

At a certain point post-canon, it becomes impossible for Steven's organic and gem halves to be separated. They are so tightly integrated that attempting to remove the gem would only poof him.

Now, here's the thing though...

Steven does not realize that Any of this is taking place until the blunt reality of his strange new anatomical nature is put on display for all to see... when he actually DOES poof.

Here is how (in my own post-canon musings, which I have simplified here because y'all don't live inside all the intensive lore that jangles about my brain) I envision that taking place:

So, Steven would be in his mid to late twenties at this point. He's married to Connie, and they have an infant son.

Recently, there was a fairly severe Gem incident that left Beach City and Little Homeworld pretty damaged. Things are still being mopped up from that.

Steven, Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl head out on a quick mission one day to intercept one of the last few supporters of the Gem who attacked the Crystal Gem's hub of operation, and at first it seems like it's gonna be a straightforward trip.

Then, Steven sees the Gem in question pull a destabilizer wand on Garnet, and- unwilling to watch her to get ripped apart like that again- throws himself in between. He can take it, he thinks. These things never hurt him one bit as a kid

He cannot take it.

He poofs.

His gem unceremoniously falls to the ground, along with the clothes he was wearing and whatever he had in his pockets.

Cue the others going "what the actual FUCK" because based on everything they've ever witnessed and known about him no one had "Steven poofs" on their bingo card.

The insurgent Gem is captured and dealt with, but now... oh, boy. There's literally no playbook for this. Nobody knows what to expect.

Steven's gem is quiet for WEEKS. During that time, the Gems end up consulting the Diamonds on Homeworld to ask for intel on diamond reformation, but none of them are much help- Rose and Steven are the only ones who have actually poofed. Beyond them, this is completely unprecedented.

In a very vague sense, Steven is aware of what must have happened during this time... (even if a part of him wants to deny it, because How???)

He can pick up vague snippets of what's happening just beyond his reach... catching voices and what must be faint sensations of familiar people handling his gem, but beyond that he has no awareness of the passage of time, and he has no means by which to reach out to them mentally.

It takes almost two months for him to finally reform. When he does, his gem quickly shifts through its previous three forms and then just... outright h a n g s for a while on the new one... as if what's trying to "load" up is so complex it's goddamn buffering.

(my brain can only think of This image uyhjfsdbyuhjfg)

No one really knows what to expect but when he finally reforms, he... looks mostly the same? Still rather human in appearance, externally? The only notable difference is that his irises are pink now. (But with no diamond pupil- not unless he's going Full Power Mode.)

Steven also reforms WITH an outfit much like a Gem would.

The second he's back, he runs to embrace Connie (who is sobbing in relief) and asks how long he was out.

And he did NOT anticipate that answer to be two months.

As it turns out, he missed quite a few baby milestones while he was gone, and he feels horrible about it- it's not his fault of course, but he feels so bad that Connie had to go that long without his support, and that there's all those special "firsts" with his son he'll never get to experience.

This whole incident marks Steven's final "retirement" from participating in real combat- he outright tells the Gems to not involve him in any other combat situations unless the whole ass planet is under threat, basically. The potential risks are just not worth it now that he knows how long he'd be out of commission, should he poof once more. He can't put his family through that again.

Now, with all that outlined...

Ways that Steven is Weird now:

He looks rather human- his hair looks like hair and his skin looks like skin- but after he reforms, literally every "cell" of his body is fashioned out of hard-light.

However, if one were to theoretically slice him in half (which I PROMISE I am not going to do, this is only a thought experiment ahahah-), his internal anatomy would glow much like the Gems' do. (See below image for what I mean.) The "human-like" appearance of his skin and hair and other externally visible features does not extend very deep.

He "bleeds" pink now- but it's only surface, and is all just excess hard-light. No real blood.

His body would no longer show up on a radiograph- just the gem.

Many of his anatomical features (not all of them, though) are now vestigial in certain ways-? Like, various functions have overtly been taken over by his gem... he doesn't need to breathe or have any lifeblood beyond light pumping through his system, so his heart and lungs serve no necessary purpose anymore... but all of these organs still "exist" as like an echo of what once was, perfect mimics of their organic form but hewn from hard-light.

That being said, Connie enjoys the reassurance of his heartbeat, so he retains that function while conscious.

(Not to mention, "breathing" is literally just a habit for him by this point.)

HOWEVER, when he sleeps (another thing he technically doesn't Need to do but does anyways) his breathing and heartbeat stops entirely and it kinda spooks Connie out. The literal only evidence she has that he's still kicking during these times is the soft hum of his gemstone.

He does not have a biological NEED for food or water anymore and can fully operate on exposure to light alone, but he still really enjoys eating and drinking anyways. In fact, he's still able to absorb energy from food... so it's basically like he's over-charging his battery or whatever. He also still experiences taste (so still posesses some form of taste receptors) and instinctively feels "hungry" at meal times, so like... the running theory is that he must have hard-light analogues for all these receptors and neurotransmitters and hormones that communicate sensations like hunger in his system even though their function is entirely redundant with his gem powering everything.

Furthermore, his memories and sense of self and everything one might refer to as "the soul" is stored exclusively in his gem now. Which means, if one could manage to analyze his brain like one could with a human brain, there would be entire sections that simply... don't light up the way that others (such as the parts of the brain that govern motor control, as an example) do. This is because all the "data" once stored there has migrated.

He can fully shapeshift now, if he wanted to.

He can also still visually "age"- it's all based on his mental state, same as before.

But despite being hard-light in nature now, he can still interface with organics in fusion because his form is still so organic in shape and function. He's still the bridge between humanity and gemkind. I like to think that... theoretically... a Gem might be able to fuse with an organic too, but the sheer burden of trying to shapeshift and maintain such cellular complexity is what stops this from happening.

Steven, though? His very existence as a hybrid acted as a template by which hard-light could learn to understand organic life. He is still an intensely unique being, even IF he no longer consists of any actual organic matter.

_

I am sure I will probably add something to this later, but for now, those are all my musings.

Anyways, thank you for taking a brief visit to the deepest recesses of my brain, where I am chewing at the drywall and bouncing around the room like a cat who has just devoured the goddamn motherlode of catnip. Good night! !! :DDD

#su #su future #steven universe #jen rambles #or... jen thinks so hard about speculative anatomy that they get the zoomies for three straight days

[dailypersonamodding]

Saturday, April 15th, 2023

[ Sorry for the prolonged absence! Life got complicated for both of the admins and for the time being you'll need to deal with me! ]

ANYWAY, Goro Akechi Time

So, as is considered nearly common knowledge by now, data present in P5 and P5R points to the existence of a scrapped Akechi Palace for our ✨lovely pancake boy✨, but how much is known about it *really?* Here's a data breakdown of the scraps left over!

Every field in Persona 5 has a Major and Minor Field ID, and the game is programmed to assume Major ID's between 150 and 200 are Palaces. The final game uses IDs 150 to 162 for each Palace like so:

f150 - Prologue [ Casino Duplicate ]

f151 - Castle Pt.1

f152 - Castle Pt.2

f153 - Museum

f154 - Bank

f155 - Pyramid

f156 - Moon Base

f157 - Casino

f159 - Cruiseship

f160 - Holy Grail Path

f161 - Mementos Depths

f162 - Labratory

As you can see, there are missing Fields between 157 and 159, but how can we prove this is Akechi? We look at the dialogue for negotiating with Shadows!

When knocked down, Shadows occasionally mention whatever Palace Ruler is currently active. This data is stored in BATTLE\TALK in various .BF ( Binary Flowscript ) files that are run based on the enemy type.

Inside the BMD ( Binary Message Data ) chunk of these files, there's some unused dialogue:

Flee while you still can! Ahahaha! It is futile to oppose Lord Akechi! You would do well to tread carefully. Lord Akechi is a man possessed of immense desire. Hmph… I wonder if your power would even pose a threat to Lord Akechi… I give up… *sob* Lord Akechiii…

There are 27 lines in total from Shadows referencing "Lord Akechi", all of them localized! Normally, this is where most investigation ends. There was a planned Akechi Palace between Sae and Shido, but all data was scrapped and any attempts to load into the Palace by force fail due to an intense scrub of all related data.

( Generally this is a sign things are not going well )

This, however is not the end of things just yet—Atlus was not entirely diligent in the data wipe. One of the things left behind is a single .ENV ( Environment ) file. These files—among many other things—specify properties like texture color, color grading, light effects and so on for every field.

ENV\ENV0158_001_000.ENV is found in this folder, corresponding to the missing 158 Palace ID. However, since there's no meshes left over, we can only see ENV 158's effects by placing it on another field. Here is the front hall of the Bank Palace as seen in-game normally:

Here is what Akechi's Palace would have looked like, at least the ambiance, had development continued:

( I'm sure someone can make some kind of argument about how this represents Akechi thematically, lord knows I can. )

One other aspect still remaining is found in FIELD\FTD\FLDDNGPACK.FTD, a list that specifies what encounters can be found in any Palace, along with loot in Chests and Search Objects. Akechi's DNGPACK List is not entirely empty!

We can see by parsing this file that Akechi's Palace would have had around 21 different Fields, about the standard for every Palace in P5R, though this excludes Safe Rooms. While the Encounter Entries sadly lead only to default Kamoshida Castle battles, his list references a unique Random Loot Table 7! At the time of writing, it appears no other part of the game references Random Loot Table 7. While it lacks unique items found in other Palaces, the data is indicative of what could've been found inside Akechi's Palace Search Objects.

Jades and Garnets are placed at surprisingly high priority, along with the Marble Chessboard. Of note are the items such as the Marble Chessboard and Brass Pocket Watch, those specific Item IDs cannot be found in any other location in the ENTIRE Random Loot Table .FTD file.

Until more info about how Palaces function is uncovered, it seems like our Detective Prince will continue to elude us in his heavily fog-covered ways, this subject clearly needs more research to find any more remnants!

That’s all for now, see you soon!

#persona 5 #persona 5 royal #persona modding #goro akechi #akechi goro #p5 akechi #p5r akechi