#and like meeting a new person when you’re 24 at a party and somehow that’s your cousin apparently

[lightsonparkave]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LIGHTS ON PARK AVE! WE’RE OFFICIALLY A THREE-YEAR-OLD TODDLER TODAY. Join the celebrations by submitting a work! There’s a little less than a week and a half left until Round 36 closes on August 31, and you have 161 prompts to choose from. There are no minimum work requirements or limit to how many works you can submit.

Not sure you can finish your work in time? Little messages are great presents too. What has the past year of Lights on Park Ave been like for you? Do you have a favorite prompt or round? A favorite LoPA work? Want to make a rec list of your favorites or wax poetic and show some love for a specific work and/or creator? Go for it. Let the Steve/Tony community know! The LoPA askbox is open or if you want to make your own Tumblr post or tweet, you can mention @lightsonparkave​ or tag #lightsonparkave. Whatever method you choose, I’ll make sure to share your message/post on here and Twitter.

Or maybe you’re not up to making anything this time. In that case, let’s take a walk down memory lane. Here are all 35 Lights on Park Ave works for previous rounds.

ART

Any 

Steve in a crop top and Tony in an open shirt dancing in a nightclub with their middle fingers up - @soraempty​

A WIP of old Steve and Tony, with Tony wearing a shirt with Cap’s shield on it - @soraempty​

The boys cuddling on a camping trip - @venomous-soliloquy (WIP)​​

AU 

“A Monster Rendezvous” - @jetblackfeeling​ it’s capwolf’s rut season and tony has a gift

Portraits of vampire husbands - Kota RiverRoad (@unstable-river) Anthonio was originally born as an aristocrat in Italy. Centuries later finds his future husband Stephen as a soldier on the battlefield of Waterloo, saving him from certain death. Tony being an inventor in the thriving renaissance and Steve fighting in a major historical battle. Tony got changed by a kind doctore due to his poor health and heart problems. Living a double life since then. How could their life look like nowadays?

“hot toasts and cold showers” - @jetblackfeeling​ (also on Tumblr) steve wants to get in the pants of the new tavern keeper in lowtown (pirate AU)​

MCU 

J. C. Leyendecker-inspired art of old Steve and Tony in formalwear at a gala - @pineapplebread “Will you be able to put up with me for another 56 more years?” “I am looking forward to it.”

EDIT

MCU

Two scenes from Civil War where Steve and Tony knowing each other - @meidui

FIC

616 & AU

“august in the heat” - @starvels​ A collection of ficlets for the Lights On Park Avenue round 24 prompts: featuring hurt/comfort, canon divergence and lots of pain. :)

AU

“Even If It Hurts” - @ralsbecket​​ While on a holiday vacation in Thailand, Stephanie and Tony's family are faced with the impossible.

“Our Corner of the Universe” - @mildlyholmes It's senior year, and Tony hates it here. He's still licking his wounds from his recent break-up with Pepper and would much rather hide up on the roof with a drink than join the party that's going on in his house. He doesn't expect Steve Rogers, beloved football captain and school heartthrob, to show up with just as heavy a heart. Late night talks turn into a tentative friendship that blossoms into a summer fling that is doomed to fail when they eventually go off to different colleges. Then, ten years later, they meet again at a friend's wedding for the first time since their tumultuous break-up. --- Including: rooftop conversations, a post-graduation summer fling, and learning from past mistakes as the years go by.

“for the love of renegades” - @meidui​ (also on Tumblr) Tony is a lonely millionaire with a drinking problem. Steve is a lonely personal trainer with anger issues. They sneak back and forth from LA to New York and somehow make it work.

“angels who sin” - @meidui​ (also on Tumblr) Summer air is thick and sweet, like Tony's voice pouring honey into Steve's throat, telling Steve more than he needs to know. He's here with his parents for the summer, he just finished his first year at college, he doesn't believe in God but his parents make him come to church. "They said you can help me find faith," Tony says, as mischievous as he is innocent, and Steve is as good as gone.

“Star-Crossed” - illogicalkat Tony watches the ocean. He watches the waves rolling in, cresting and crashing to the shore. He watches the surface, how it bends and curves out in the distance, how the sharks and the whales cut through it like it’s nothing while the surfers and swimmers are pummeled. He thinks about wading out into the water, he thinks about pushing deeper until his feet no longer touch the floor and just floating, letting the current take him out to sea. He thinks about how long he might float before he is returned to shore.

An excerpt from a soccer AU where Tony and Steve dislike each other instantly when Tony joins Steve’s team but eventually fall in love - @nostalgicatsea “It’ll be a fresh start,” Pepper had told him, tapping the signature line with her “special occasions only” Montblanc—as if downgrading to the U.S. from Spain was a momentous event that deserved to be celebrated—and the best and worst part of it was that she had sincerely believed it.

“all the world is only you and me” - illogicalkat Steve has trouble breathing, when the air gets this thick.

“Bonfire Promises” - Infinitywrites/@infinitywriters-blog​ As the age-old tradition goes, desired Alpha and Omega are bonded during the new moon night in a bonfire. And a Bonding in a Midsummer New moon night is considered very auspicious by the elders. The elders say the bond would last the seven lives the Alpha and Omega will have if they are soulmates. Though Steve scoffs at the story from his elders, secretly he loved the magic of being bound to one’s soulmate for all of eternity. (Or)Bonfires, Bonding and Soulmates

“Kings of Summer” - @gonetoarcadia A bonfire. The last night of summer. Confessions in the dark. Tony did always want to dance after the sun went down, and Steve wanted everything, even if it hurt.

AU/MCU

Excerpt from a post-Endgame soulmate AU where Steve wrestles with his emotions about his soul bond to Tony - @nostalgicatsea “What do you think would have happened to us after the battle if we hadn’t bonded?” You’d be dead, Steve thought. But Tony didn’t know that. Wasn’t talking about that.

This is an excerpt from a fic where Steve and Tony reunite ten years after a bad breakup and are keeping secrets from each other - @nostalgicatsea​ “You want me too, don’t you? I don’t think I was…I don’t think I’m misreading things.” Tony’s grip on Steve’s shirt was surprisingly strong as Steve finished tucking him in, preventing Steve from standing up properly.

Avengers Assemble

“Surprise Fairies” - Neverever (@captainneverever) “We’re fairies, Tony,” Steve said resignedly. Tony and Steve's Halloween takes an unexpected turn.

MCU

“Running Up That Hill” - illogicalkat Following the events of Civil War, Tony returns to New York while his husband, Steve, goes on the run.

“Tell me about despair, yours” - @ayapandagirl/Fluffypanda The dock creaks as Steve lowers himself, pulling off his socks and shoes to dip his feet in the water. It’s cold, something Steve probably should have expected in late October. 

A ficlet where Tony looks for Steve and finds out he turned into a werewolf - @ayapandagirl/Fluffypanda “Steve?” Tony asked the cold night air. “Please tell me you’re out here.” Wind whistled through the trees, bringing with it the smell of frost and decay. Tony shivered and turned his makeshift light to the animal path ahead of him. It was the only way forward.

“the rest we know” - @meidui (also on Tumblr)​ Tony's been chasing peace at his lakehouse for five years, but he knows it's over for him the moment Steve steps out of the car in that black leather jacket.

“he hung the moon” - @meidui​ (also on Tumblr) Steve lives on the moon now.

“i intend to end up here.” - @meidui​ (also on Tumblr) It’s 1945 and Steve has been assigned a K9, a German shepherd that he handpicked out of the litter.

“every card in the deck” - @meidui​ (also on Tumblr) Angsty things Steve and Tony have said to each other in the MCU, said again years later but happy this time.

“eyes closed forever to find you” - @meidui​ (also on Tumblr) It can’t all be pain, but so what if it was? The hurt always felt a little like love anyway, when it came from Steve.

“What He Didn’t Know Before” - @ayapandagirl/Fluffypanda (also on Tumblr) Steve falls in love

“your eyes look like coming home” - @arabellamonkey​/ArabellaAM (also on Tumblr) To this day, Steve still remembers his first thought —the first thing he yearned for— when he woke up in the 21st Century. He still hadn’t found out he was in the future; he hadn’t processed that what had once been his present was now the past. He hadn’t even started grappling with the alien concept that what he had never expected to live to see had become his present. Even before any of those thoughts appeared on his mind, a more simple, instinctive one had shone brightly. He just wanted to return home.

“even in my worst lies (you saw the truth in me)” - @arabellamonkey/ArabellaAM (also on Tumblr) When Tony has an accident in the middle of a battle, his teammates find out the secret he's been keeping for almost a year: he's Iron Man. The Avengers take it surprisingly well. Except for Steve, that is.

“i cannot be known (better than you know me)” - @meidui (also on Tumblr) Steve isn't as good as they say, Tony decides. He's a million and one times better.

“you cannot be known (better than i know you)” - @meidui (also on Tumblr) Steve learns a lot about Tony before he ever meets him.

MCU/TRN634 (CIVIL WARRIOR) CROSSOVER

“love and war” - @meidui​ (also on Tumblr) “Who the hell are you?” Tony demands as Steve stands up and instinctively gets between them, taking him in: Tony’s armour, but in his colours. His shield, but with Tony’s arc reactor in place of his star. “I’m from Earth-TRN634,” he says. “I’m not here to hurt you. I’m here to stop your Civil War.”​

#lightsonparkave #stevetony #steve/tony #stony #superhusbands #announcement

[combustion-man]

One trope that super annoys me in a lot of tv shows (mostly) and movies (not as often) of the past idk decade or so is when some white character experiences an Accidentally Racist Moment and assumes the Latine* cast representative is Mexican, and is rudely corrected that “I’m not Mexican, I’m [insert any other LatAm ethnicity]” and the white person has to backtrack

I’m not mad bc of the correction or representation of other Latin American ethnicities. I think it’s really great and important to highlight different cultures from the whole Latin American region, there’s a HUGE range of diversity in culture and language and food and customs that most definitely need to be represented and explored in American media.

My problem is this happens to almost every nice, fun, personable, well rounded character. Which leaves the only Mexican representation to be cartel, coyotes, and undocumented migrants/domestic workers. Again, these stories can be super important to tell and represent (if done correctly which honestly I have seen very very few times, at least in more Hollywood/studio productions)

Also often the character correcting the white people are offended at the idea of being Mexican. It’s implying “how rude of you to just assume I’m Mexican, you racist!” Bruh if they’re racist against Mexicans they’re racist against you too, you just caught them off guard

Idk in general I just want this post to be calling for better Latine rep and especially Mexican rep. And like, Latines of all colors, we got light skinned folks and black folks. We have the range darling, it’s time we showed off

* Latine (LAH-teen-ey) is being used here rather than Latinx or Latin@ for:

1. Gender neutral language that also includes non-binary Latin American folks

2. Speakability for Spanish speakers; “Latinx” (or so I recall) was meant to be a figurative placeholder in writing until a better option was found (we found it!) and while in English it’s fairly easy to adapt to “Latinx” in speech, it does not work well for Spanish speakers, and has no way of translating into other gendered vocabulary or work as a usable word in speech. “X” as a letter is pronounced differently in Spanish, and simply just cannot lingually exist well at the end of a word to

#I’m gonna bring back nightblogging and it’s gonna be me posting essays at 1am #it’s so annoying watching something bc i know it has some good latine rep and I just once want them to be Mexican #and they’re all enjoyable shows and I don’t want to negate them bc they are adding something good! #but like y’all are using PR actresses to be Cuban or Mexican actresses to be Honduran or whatever tf #like they’re coming from all sorts of places it’s not a stretch to throw in some Mexican rep #also the Big Stat is that the latine pop in the US is the second highest demographic #and within that guess which LA country has the highest pop in the US #surprise we share a land border with them it’s ¡México! #like guessing Mexican is statistically a good guess #I’m Mexican and grew up in SoCal and just assumed all the latine peers I had were Mexican unless I knew otherwise #just once I wanna see a family party for like thanksgiving with the normal food and #huge plates of carne and pollo asada and tacos and salsa that one aunt made too hot for even most of the fam but your dad can handle it #and like meeting a new person when you’re 24 at a party and somehow that’s your cousin apparently #Mexican stories don’t need to be sad sob stories or day of the dead stories #oh god I forgot about coco #and book of life #but there’s more to Mexican culture than day of the dead and undocumented immigration #Allison night logs #apparently

[themagicians-girl]

Sun Through The Houses

Sun in the 1st house: 

People notice these individuals because they are leaders and exude confidence. They are unapologetically themselves at all times regardless of where they are or who they are around. It is easy for these individuals to gain respect for this reason. On the other hand, others can envy this and display jealousy or hatred for them. You can often find people with their sun in the first house on the stage whether that be in a leadership position in the workplace, at a theater, or in front of a camera. These people shine and they do so, usually, gracefully. These individuals hold themselves in a proud and dignified way, and expect those around them to do the same. They put much emphasis on their appearance. This does not necessarily mean their looks but mostly how the carry themselves. They will never show up in a wrinkled shirt or with smelly breath. They must appear presentable at all times, because they are opportunists and they want to be ready for anything.   On the dark side, they must watch out for their egotistical and domineering tendencies. 

Sun in the 2nd house:

These individuals strive for pleasure and comfort. They like to own nice things - whatever that means for them individually. Because of the need for possession these people can become workaholics. They may work long hours or strive to be very financially set. Actually, when these people are struggling financially expect them to become severely depressed. They cannot fathom living paycheck to paycheck, its their biggest fear. When these people aren’t at work you can often find them at a restaurant or hanging out at home, which, by the way, their home will be their safe space and very comfortable. They may struggle to leave the home, or with moving in general. These people grow very attached to their home base. They may move out of their parents home older than most, or, if the childhood was chaotic, leave as quickly as possible to find the security they are craving. Sun in the 2nd house people enjoy food A LOT. Cooking them a nice meal is the way to their heart. They are usually good cooks themselves. On the dark side, be mindful of your materialistic nature. It’s okay to believe in things that aren’t only tangible. You don’t need to work 24/7. Money comes and goes. Embrace change, and remember that nothing in the universe is solely ours. Father may have put a lot of emphasis on career growing up, also may have been overbearing and put a lot of pressure on the child.

Sun in the 3rd house:

These people love to learn and travel. They live for it. They are the types to buy a rundown bus, throw a mattress in it, and travel the country. They don’t care for materialistic possessions, they just wish to seek endless knowledge. Actually, they need to be mentally stimulated at all times. Which may cause mental anxiety at times because they do not know how to slow down, rest, and recharge. These people may be good at trivia, because they know a little about everything. If aspects are positive, will have a solid relationship with siblings. You can find these people listening to podcasts, at the library, reading, or watching documentaries. Most likely the podcasts though, because they like to be on the move. Expect these people to travel often. If they don’t have the means to travel, they will immerse themselves in travel any other way they can via; movies, events, stories, friends, etc. Could be excellent teachers if they can develop patience, something they struggle with. Skills to develop: dig deeper into your passions, not just surface level. Stick with hobbies and projects longer, see them through. How many unfinished projects do you have right now? 

Sun in the 4th:

These people have an attachment to their family whether it be good or bad, its there and prevalent in their life. They are always pulled to the family, away or towards. If aspects were negative, they may have had an abusive father who stifled their growth or did not allow them to be who they truly wanted to be. If aspects were good, they probably have a very good relationship with the father. May really want children or at least, a solid family structure (family can mean anything). These people are nurturing, kind, and empathetic souls. They enjoy feeling embraced and cared for, and will make you feel the same. They are very proud of those they consider family and are protective of them. These individuals may work in settings where they serve others in one way or another. People trust them. Be mindful not to become possessive of those you hold closest to you, and if you’re struggling with the family, it’s okay to get help for that. 

Sun in the 5th: 

Some of the most creative people you will ever meet. They love the arts and creative adventures. They are most likely involved in art in some form, whether that be singing, modeling, painting, or photography. These individuals have what it takes to entice an audience, and they do all of the time. Many admirers. May struggle to chose a long term partner due to enjoying attention from many. Sun in the 5th house people have many friends and people will admire them. They are gregarious and full of life. They love to party and have a good time. They aren’t the type to spent much time alone. They’d prefer to be out adventuring or creating with others. Probably love children and children probably love them too. These people are very vocal, it’s hard to miss them. They may love makeup, and put a lot of effort into their looks. They can charm others. On the dark side, be weary of leading people on or being too full of yourself. Ask yourself, do you really like that person, or do you like the attention they are giving you? It’s okay to share the spotlight with others. You will find support when you give support.

Sun in the 6th:

These people throw themselves into work and serving others. They spent a majority of their time at work, and find it hard to take vacations or relax. May have an emphasis on nutrition or working out, may take those aspects of life too far and struggle with self-esteem. These individuals are often selfless and caring. They are excellent friends. They are practical rather than emotional in their approach to life. May have had a parent that was overbearing and expected them to be perfectionists which developed into anxiety and indecision in adulthood. Lack of trust for oneself. These people are good at tending to things. They are the type to find a stray animal and take it home and nurture it. They are fixers in all aspects of life. Should their chart have positive aspects to the sun, they will take good care of their physical and mental health and will inspire others to do the same. On the dark side, your career is not a personality trait. Develop skills and passions outside of work, or you will bore others crazy. It’s okay to relax and experience pleasure.

Sun in the 7th: 

Expect these people to have a close circle of people very dear to them. They strive for interpersonal relationships. It makes them feel whole. Other people, make them feel whole. Which can teeter on negative or positive, depending how much independence the person has acquired. Regardless, these individuals know how to make connections. They may have many acquaintances. They strive for balance and harmony in life. They may work in fields where they act as a mediator of some sorts, such as counseling. When the Sun is in the 7th house of one on one relationships, these people will struggle to distinguish themselves between their own self and others. They must work hard to maintain boundaries for themselves or they will run themselves too thin. These people are empathetic, caring, and selfless. They will be the most support friend and lover. They are excellent communicators and can make two of the worst enemies find an understanding. They are respected for their diplomacy. 

Sun in the 8th:

Regardless if the Sun is in an extroverted sign such as Leo or Gemini, people with 8th house Suns will appear quieter and more private. Much of their personality is hidden and they only show it to those they trust. These people may appear distant, without trying. They just feel hard to reach. These people enjoy what is hidden. They may have secret hobbies or passions. May have obsessive tendencies and struggle with depression. May live a double lifestyle. Dark humor. If aspects to the sun are negative, may have lost the father during childhood in someway. These people are excellent detectives. They love uncovering the mysteries around them, especially other peoples mysteries. You can’t hide anything from Sun in the 8th people, and if you do, they will feel betrayed and never trust you again. Trust is big for these people. May have few friends, but the friends they do have will last a lifetime. May dabble with the occult or darker aspects of life such as taboo, kink, witchcraft, etc. Dark sense of humor.

Sun in the 9th house:

These individuals put much emphasis on personal development. They want to endlessly search for knowledge and to become the best person they can be. They would prefer to be intelligent above anything else. These people make excellent teachers. They want to travel or live in foreign countries. Father may be of a  vastly different nationality to mother or was born elsewhere. These individuals are interested in history, law, philosophy, and language. May speak multiple languages. May have friends that live all over the world. These people are expansive and want to adventure the world. They feel they must in order to fulfill their life purpose. They need independence and freedom from others. They enjoy mentally stimulating conversations. If they can learn something new from you, they will respect you.

Sun in the 10th house:

Individuals with their sun in the 10th house are easy to spot. They will be in a position of power or will be in the spotlight somehow. They strive to be in the public eye. They are leaders and want to live a life of fame. They want to be known and respected. They usually deserve the roles they achieve because they are hard workers. They have much to teach others regarding chasing success and dreams. Very rarely will you meet a Sun in the 10th person that isn’t chasing a dream of some sort. These individuals need to have goals to work towards. Complacency is not their friend. When they aren’t being productive they may become depressed. A struggle for people with their Suns in the 10th is that, although they want admiration, they struggle to have meaningful relationships with others. Relationships may rely on business partnerships rather than a true bond. Don’t abuse your power or sell your soul in search of it. Fame is nothing compared to genuine care and love. Balance.

Sun in the 11th:

People with their Sun in the 11th house have booked schedules for months in advance. They are always attending events, workshops, or traveling. They are involved in many organizations whether that be community outreach, clubs, committees, or social circles. They want to be surrounded by people and community. These individuals bring friends together and can introduce many people to one another. They feel most whole when they belong to a group. You can expect them to have many acquaintances and friends. On the downside, their romantic relationships may struggle because they want to spend all of their free time with friends. Must achieve independence from their groups. May be great planners and organizers. Eccentric and unique people. May struggle to understand who they are apart from others. 

Sun in the 12th: 

These individuals are sensitive idealists. They love animals and taking care of vulnerable people, because they feel vulnerable them self. These people often get stuck in a daydream or fantasy world. They can struggle to ground themselves in the present moment because of this. Psychic intuition. Escapist tendencies due to feeling like the world is too harsh. Must work to develop thicker skin. Usually extremely creative and artistic because they hide away so often into their own world. May be quieter individuals or introverted. They enjoy one on one interactions or smaller groups to a big crowd. May have very vivid dreams. Can easily read others emotions. May be prone to wearing rose colored glasses. Father may have been aloof or not in the childs life. Be mindful of substance abuse or manipulating others when you feel threatened. 

As always, look at your chart as a whole.

Love,

Jaclyn

#sun in the 1st house #sun in the 12th house #sun in the 10th house #sun in the 9th house #sun in the 8th house #sun in the 2nd house #sun in the 4th house #sun in the 5th house #sun in the 6th house #sun in the 11th house #sun in the 3rd house #sun in the 7th house #astrology #westernastrology

[falcor-thee-luck-dragon]

Keep Up

Loki x (f) TVA Bounty Hunter reader

Summary: With the newest addition to the TVA appearing in the form of an admittedly attractive Asgardian Variant. Mobius pairs the two of you up with good intentions, and although this annoys you. Maybe Loki isn’t that bad after all.

Warning: reader being a sass master, Loki just being Loki, some blood, fluff, a bit of reluctant friends to lovers if you will

Masterlist

A partner? When did you ever need a partner? In all your thousand..something years..honestly who knows at this point time is weird here and rarely matters until it does. Anyways, back to the point that Mobius was making earlier before you stomped off in frustration.

That man never fails to annoy the daylights out of you at least once every 24 hours or so. He’s great, he really is, you might even call him a true friend. But sometimes. Oh, sometimes he really throws you into the lions den with nothing more then a weapon from the damn Stone Age to keep the beasts at bay.

Your profession you ask? To further make this point of yours make more sense against Mobius. A bounty hunter for the Time Variant Authority. That’s right, and you know what that means?

You work alone. Alone. Do you have to spell the damn word out for him?

Although your old friend/ co-worker with that dumb little mustache of his, has decided for whatever reason that you need a partner. Claiming “it’ll spice things up!” No. You are a lone wolf. Always have been. Always will be.

Who in all the universe could be as amazing as yourself? Right, you can answer that. It’s you!

“Y/N, come on, he’s a rookie and you’re the best person to help guide him.” Protests Mobius as you cross your arms in frustration.

You give him a less then friendly look of dissatisfaction, “My sole job is to hunt down and either kill or bring in variants who fuck with the set timeline. Also, as you are well aware, I do that alone.”

He simply rolls his eyes, “That’s not very opening up to new horizons of you. Remember our bet?” Smirks the irritating man.

“What bet?” You know the bet.

“That in one hundred days you have to make a new friend.”

Shaking your head at the idiocy of this bet, you give him a half-offended look, “And I have!”

Mobius raises a brow, clearly not believing your proclamation “Who then?”

You shrug, “The desk lady from the office. uhh, shit what’s her name?” You ask, snapping your fingers together as your mind searches for a name, “…Uh, oh right! Verona!”

Mobius snorts in amusement as he shakes his head, “Her name is Velarica.”

“That was close.”

“It wasn’t.”

You scoff, setting a hand on your hip as you pick up a dagger from his office desk, “Oh whatever. We could argue about this all day, who cares anyways.” You grumble with a huff before flipping the weapon in your hand, “But fine.”

“But fine, what?” Teases your current source of irritation while he sits there all smug by his desk. You’d like nothing more then to shove one of those square pieces of office party cake right in his stupid conundrum of a face.

“Who’s the new guy then?” You begrudgingly mutter, “Let’s just get this over with so I can go back to hunting variants alone.”

Mobius’ face lights up at this, “Well I’m glad you’ve finally come around Y/N, you’re gonna wanna probably sit for this one…it’s a doozie.”

“oh, really?” You ask with a raised brow. How interesting is this person truly?

——

You’d like to be mad and fueled with rage for the person of the hour whom Mobius has chosen to place you with. But in all honesty, you’re admittedly a bit more intrigued then you’ve ever been to meet anyone.

Who would have thought? The God of Mischief himself, the new recruit, your soon to be partner. You’ve now heard everything you’ve ever wanted to know about him, witnessed his life, and his eventual death. But somehow, with the aid of those Avengers doing that time heist thing you had to sneak in the shadows and witness for research.

Loki. Specifically 2012 Loki. Has gotten himself into a bit of a mess. And now, he works for the TVA. Who would have thought? Honestly?

Standing in Mobius’ office with lack of the man thankfully. You pace back and forth to pass the time as you await your late arrival. Clicking your pen as you try and balance on one foot to help move time along a little faster with your own little self challenge, your ears suddenly prick with the sound of a door opening from behind you.

Standing normal again in an instant, you pocket the writing utensil before turning around to face an unquestionably attractive man with slicked back dark hair. His face appears rather taken aback by yourself just standing there eyeing him up like a curious wolf.

Soon a little smile pulls at the corners of his thin lips as he takes another step forward, “And you must be, the bounty hunter.” Smirks the Asgardian in a sly yet intriguing accent, “The one whom our mutual friend has brought me to.”

“Loki.” You deadpan with as much enthusiasm as a stick. Still not entirely thrilled to be doing this.

“ah, you know my name?” Questions the raven haired man, slightly taken aback that you do in fact know who he is. But of course you do. “Well I guess, forgive me then for I’m not presently aware of yours at the moment since it was not gifted to me..”

“Y/N Y/L/N.”

He nods, “Y/N…..I like it. Very sovereign and powerful.” Says Loki with a dramatic gusto.

Crossing your arms you can’t help but roll your eyes, “Don’t try and flatter me I’d rather have never met you.”

He tilts his head in curiosity, indeed a bit deflated by your lackluster comment, “Well, by the sounds of it from what Mobius was saying, you need me.”

“And you believed him?” You muse, tone light and joking though your intention to make slight fun is palpable.

He pauses for a moment to counter this, “I….I’ll have you know I am well versed in the happenings of the universe and, I don’t need you either if you must know. I could handle this myself just fine.”

“You don’t even know where we’re going.” You add with a smirk, “Or what we’re doing.”

He pauses yet again, this time giving you a once over before mimicking your defensive stance, honestly it’s a bit adorable. Loki purses his lips together, “He told me you’d be like this.”

“Like what?” You snap in irritation, calm and collected aurora flicking off of your vessel in an instant while you squint your eyes at him.

Loki smirks, he’s got you and was almost fruitlessly able to cause a quick reaction out of something so small. “Oh you should know since you apparently don’t need me. Great all-see’r of the TVA.” Mocks the Asgardian with an theatrical half-assed bow. Oh this little shit.

Grimacing at his annoyingly smug face, you hum, “I don’t. There’s nothing you could possibly give me that I don’t already have myself.”

He snorts, “I beg to differ. There’s a whole lot more I can contend to if I must explain for your ears to make any sense of it. I am well past capable of handling the unknown on my own accords.”

You unfold your arms to pick up something off of the desk while he watches you like a hawk. Stuffing the small object in your pocket, you turn around to face him with a bemused expression, “Really? Says the guy who tried to stab Thanos with a pocket knife.”

Loki’s brows furrow before his face shifts into clear annoyance, “How do you know that?”

You smirk before slowly walking up closer to him, “I know who you are, how you got here, and what you’re currently doing.”

“That doesn’t explain…”

“Oh but it does. I’m a bounty hunter for the TVA, my friend is Mobius, and I know everything so shut your swindling little pie-hole and try and keep up.”

Loki blinks, to bewildered by your blatant sass to even form a coherent sentence to rival your choice words so instead does he watch as you practically swagger over to the door, but before you’re able to open it he takes a step to follow, “So you know everything? If that’s the case as you so happen to claim, do you know what’s located in the drawers up at..?”

“Probably some rare trinkets collected throughout the years.” You don’t even let him finish his sentence you already know where this frivolous trickster has been off to.

“Specifically what?” Pressures the agitating Asgardian in that obnoxiously accusatory voice of his.

“Infinity Stones.” You deadpan, not even missing a beat which greatly annoys Loki. How the hell do you know that, wonders the raven haired man.

“Fine.” He grumbles, face falling before his tell tale mischievous smirk yet again plasters itself upon his lips when he thinks up a new question to throw at you, “The name of the office worker in desk A7?”

You twist the golden knob, “Carson.”

Loki quickly follows you out the door and into the hallway, by your side in an instant as he points a finger in the air, “Ha! You my dear are wrong.” Laughs the Asgardian happily, honestly joyful that he’s been able to catch you with something that you don’t have the true answer to for someone claiming to know just about everything.

He chuckles, “It’s actually Casey.”

Taking his hand, you draw it down to his side and away from your face while he continues to smile, “I was close.” You add with a casual shrug.

His brows furrow “You were not. That wasn’t even that close, so Y/N. What do you say to that?”

“I’d say I was close for someone who’s never actually been to that branch of the TVA.” You counter, leaning your face close to his, “I could just feel it.”

He sputters, baffled by your off hand comments, “Casey and Carson are not the same. They don’t even particularly happen to sound that similar.”

Continuing to walk down the long hallway, you side eye Loki, “They do. Use your ears.”

He makes an almost hilariously flabbergasted expression, “I have been! You were just lucky to have guessed a name that happens to sound similar to the actual one.” Counters Loki as he stops you in the hallway to face him, “How the hell do you actually know so much? Granted, even if it’s slightly off?“

Lifting his hand from your shoulder, you pat him on the arm, “I have approximate knowledge of many things.” And with that said do you continue walking down the hallway. Leaving a confused Loki behind before he quietly jogs after you.

This woman, thinks Loki, I’m beginning to like her.

——

This new thing, whatever it is, whatever it could be called or labeled as. It’s surprisingly a wonderful feeling if you’re being truthful, these new feelings that have started to take hold of you in the past weeks that have gone by.

It’s been very conflicting to say the least, your new feelings for the troublesome god of Mischief and his intriguing personality paired with those admittedly dashing looks. You’d said it wouldn’t happen, hell you never planned for it to happen, but how he’s shifted your emotions towards him without even realizing it has set you in a new path into the unknown.

He’s not even technically supposed to be here. Well, it’s too late to go back now so at least he’s stuck with the TVA for quit awhile at this point. But still. Working with him has begun to grow increasingly more difficult and it’s not because of his attitude. Oh no, far from it.

“What’s swirling around in that cantankerous mind of yours?” Asks Loki in his usual velvety voice of his that you could probably listen to all damn day while he pulls up a seat next to you.

Drawing your head up from the piles of paperwork splayed about on Mobius’ desk, your eyes soon find the softly smiling man who stares down at you like you’re the whole entire world. You snort, “Just bats and cobwebs. Maybe some wind chimes.”

Loki gives a light snicker as he pulls up a chair by your side, “Sounds exhilarating.”

“Oh it is. No doubt.”

The Asgardian shares another small grin, curiosity brewing up in his mind as he mindlessly fiddles with a paperweight closely resembling that of an ancient crest from earth, “So, what’s next for us? It’s been a few days..”

You laugh, “Look at you.” His eyes crinkle with amusement as you smirk, “All willing and ready for the hunt. Reminds me of myself, a long time ago of course when my younger self was just starting out. But still, I like it.”

“And what do you like? May I ask?” This little flirt.

Playfully shoving his arm, you scoff, “Your gusto. The drive to get out in the universe and try to do some good. It’s admirable and…considering who you are, surprising.”

“oh?” He raises a brow.

“In a good way.”

“Right. Of course.” Nods Loki just as the doors burst open to reveal a smiling and just about bushy tailed Mobius who gives the two of you a little wave.

“Y/N! Loki! Glad I found you two hound-dogs, I got a good one this time..”

“You always say that.” Remarks Loki as you lean in close to the man in order to whisper in a mock Mobius accent. “Yes. But this one’s a real doozie.” The Asgardian stifles a soft chuckle as the mustached man comes round to his desk.

Mobius seats himself in front of the two of you, “Yeah yeah…well this one’s a real doozie.”

Loki side eyes you while you give him a wink. “Okay, you two. This ones an 83QV, so, you’ll be going to Midgard for this. Target you ask? Some time swindler named, Chess Belnas. All you two gotta accomplish here is bring her in before she’s able to screw up the timeline. Then once she’s back with us, we’ll restart her, thus resetting her timeline to the correct placement that it should be.”

“I get the two daggers this time.”

Rolling your eyes as you stand, you shove Loki back down into his seat while he tries to get up, “In your dreams Houdini.”

He watches as you stand above him before giving you a puzzled look, “And I’m supposed to know who that is?”

You break out into a grin, turning to leave so he can’t see how large your smile has grown, “Let’s go magic man! We don’t got all the time in the world!” You shout over your shoulder just as he quickly rises from his seat to hastily follow your lead.

“Magic man?” He questions, “That’s a new one.” Smirks the god as he watches you practically swagger out the door.

——

Running full sprint across some fair grounds in Bavaria, Germany for Octoberfest 1962, your legs jump over a log as you chase the Variant Chess Belnas across the trampled grass littered here and there with old wrappers and other discarded objects from careless people. No doubt probably drunk.

“Oh shit!” You gasp just as a large hulking lumberjack of a man takes a step into your pathway. Two large beers grasped tightly in his hands while he for some fucking reason decides to stop directly in your pathway to talk to someone off to the side. Imbeciles.

“Fuckin’ move!” You shout before sliding past him just as he squabbles out of the way. These drunken idiots can fall off a bridge for all you care. Almost stumbling on your own two feet from the near death experience, you hear laughter coming from your left in between some vendors.

Pushing your way into the opening that reveals a large field where the days competitive games are being held. You rush past Loki who fails to keep up but does his best nonetheless. Little shit was laughing at you. Ignoring the world around you for the moment and Loki’s assumed laughter, you make haste for the Variant who’s almost within arms reach.

But just as you’re about to launch yourself into her she swerves to the left, doing a 360 turn before throwing a dagger at your head. Eyes going wide, you swiftly dodge this when she then throws a punch for your shoulder.

A sharp pain races up from your right breast at the impact, you stumble. Chess Belnas reveals another dagger and a second later a green flame erupts in her face just as someone knocks you to the ground.

Landing hard onto the grass, the mystery individual’s strong torso lands atop of you, body right between your legs and just about your whole stomach and chest. Opening your eyes, you come face to face with an almost embarrassed Loki as he realizes the compromising position you two happen to be in.

Still laying on your back, you give the pink cheeked Asgardian a little smirk, “Aren’t you supposed to buy me dinner first?”

“Very funny.” Mutters Loki as he quickly scrambles to gets off of you before lending a hand that you instantly accept.

Jumping to your feet, you take notice of the Variant who’s groggily getting up off the ground, “And there’s our prize.” You muse as Chess gives a double take before turning around to sprint in the opposite direction.

“And there she goes.” Adds Loki as he watches her run off towards the tree line.

“Shit.” You mumble before taking three metal playing cards out of your jacket pocket. Loki watches in curiosity as you jog a few feet after her before flicking at top speed the first card. The thin material flies through the air before slicing Chess Belnas on the shoulder, ripping open her leather jacket.

She yelps in surprise, stumbles a bit, and falls to the ground just as you land another card right in the square of her back. She falls at the edge of the woodland like a sack of potatoes while you and Loki jog past some discarded beer bottles.

“Is she dead?” Wonders Loki as you kneel down to meet her level better.

Feeling for a pulse, you nod, “Barely. But it doesn’t matter if Chess here lives to speak with Ravonna, she’s dead already.”

“What do you mean?”

“She’s a Variant Loki. Like, a bad fucking no good terrible problem kinda Variant.” You explain, “She’s messed up the timeline too much, she’s not supposed to be here. So, she’ll be restarted.”

Loki mouths a small o in reply as he watches you take out the white playing card, it’s slick with blood when it reveals itself to the outside world from within the leather clothing. You then clean it with the leather before feeling around in her pocket for something.

Taking out a dark blue gem, you appear rather relived as you then stand once again. This time you pull out a small earpiece and turn it on, “Unit 9, we’ve captured the Variant.” Some muffled reply. “No.....No medical team required.”

More muffled words are said on the other line as you take a step back from the half-dead woman slowly bleeding out into the grass. Soon a square portal of various oranges and yellows is opened and three TVA guards walk out.

The two bend down to take the limb Variant while the last TVA guard gives you a low nod. This isn’t the first time a scene like this has happened between the two of you. What will transpire next will be the three of them leaving with the Variant, then more TVA agents will arrive within the fair and do their thing to make sure no one remembers a single part about today.

As so it goes in this line of work. As it always does. But this time you have someone to keep you company with as you wander off to check for anything unusual the Variant could have set up around the surrounding area.

Hands deep in your pockets you watch the glowing portal door disappear once more, leaving you and Loki alone on the tree line of some German forest near the Octoberfest festivities. You make a dissatisfied expression before taking a step into the woodland, following the supposed direction that the Variant would have gone in.

You’re able to make it about thirty yards in when a certain concerned someone jogs up close to your side, “Are you, are you alright?” Wonders Loki, he saw your less then joyful expression earlier and was dismayed by your solemn reaction that is rightly very unlike you.

Off put by his concern, you stop dead in your tracks to face him, “Why would I be not okay?” You question a bit hotly, “I’ve done this a thousand times before.”

He nods, “Yes. I know, I know. It’s just, since you are my partner after all. I thought it best to make certain you’re emotions are in check.”

Shaking your head, you can’t help but chuckle, “Now that’s one way to ask if I’m doing alright, huh?” You smirk, “Worried for me now? Did I pick up that you might actually care about someone other then yourself?”

Loki scoffs, “Now wait a moment I do care about others if you must know. They’re just, not….here.” He finishes with, uncertainty clear in his voice.

“Not even me? How charming.” You tease, immediately turning on your heel to continue onward.

Loki’s ran to face you in an instant, “Wait, wait, wait! I didn’t-I didn’t mean it like that.”

You stop as he takes a step back to give you some room, “Fine then. I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt, since you are my partner and whatnot. So, what did you happen to mean o great and wise Loki who knows all and thinks I’m not okay.”

“Don’t be an ass.” He mutters in a rather serious tone, one that speaks annoyance and slight hurt. Honestly it’s enough to make you rethink your sarcasm a bit. What game is he playing with you now?

You purse your lips together in thought, “Okay yeah. What?” You mutter with a shrug, not sure where this is going.

Loki takes a breath before minding his nerves with leaning against a tree, “Don’t you ever feel bad?”

“About?”

Loki sighs, “The countless lives you reprimand, and the ones you take? Doesn’t that obstruct your conscience a bit?”

“Not really.” Grimacing you quickly catch yourself, “Shit that sounds bad. What I mean is, not entirely..and-and.” You point out as he watches, “That’s only because they technically don’t exist once they leave their actual timeline. So theoretically, I’m killing a ghost. If that makes sense.”

Loki brows furrow as you decide to help put the pieces of the puzzle together for him, “Alright, in conclusion. The timekeepers then reset the timeline that the Variant escaped from. Meaning, they’re going to reappear before the event and that event will not happen. So the Variant’s I kill are nothing but uncontrolled vessels of chaos that must be killed in order for their soul to travel back to their original timeline and body.”

“Then why am I here? Shouldn’t I be returning back then?” His face suddenly appears a bit frightened, “Are you going to kill me?”

“No. I would never do that.” You admit much to his relief, “The big three will handle how it’s intended to go once you leave your timeline. Just like me, you are now free to live as you like with the TVA. Completely under your own will and choice.”

“We’ll that’s, that’s a relief.” Smiles Loki as he brings the two of you into a semi-awkward silence since you’re still not entirely sure what the hell he was on about to begin with.

“Loki.”

“Yes.”

You snicker at his fast reply, “I would like to ask if you’ll relive me of my wonder and tell me why you’re so concerned for me? I can handle myself you know.”

Loki breaths out a nervous snort, “I know Y/N. I’m well informed of your skills.” Muses the Asgardian as his face turns into a soft smile, “I just….I….I care about you.”

“You. Care about me?” Is he? Is this incredibly handsome man confessing something to you? Right now?

“I do. Immensely.” Shyly grins Loki as he takes a step away from the tree.

You smirk, “Why do I have a suspicious feeling you’re confessing your absolute undying love for me.”

The God of Mischief just about chokes on his own spit at that, “I uh…”

“Loki.” You whisper, taking a step closer so that you can reach a hand out for him to willingly accept, “I know you. More then you would think. I knew of your feelings the moment I saw you after our first mission. It was adorable really.”

“You-you did?” He questions, blue eyes looking down upon your intertwined fingers, “Do you? Feel the same?”

“I do. Have been for awhile now actually you just never really realized. And uh, I didn’t want to push it too hard you know? Come on too strong.”

He laughs, “Maybe, perhaps, you might have frightened me at first.”

You raise your brows at this, “Oh I’m a little too intimidating for the God of Mischief? I. Am. Honored. Truly I am.”

“Alright Y/N.” Loki rolls his eyes as you bring his hand up to kiss, distracting him a bit, “Well, uh. You could do…you could do that again.” He advises hopefully.

“You wouldn’t mind?”

He gives you a bright and beautiful grin, “Not at all.”

“In that case.” You swiftly part your hands from his to then press them against his slender cheeks, pulling his lips to yours, you’re greatly pleased when he leans into the kiss. Fingers drawing themselves around you now as he pulls you as close as physically possible.

You smirk into the heated embrace while he gently pinches your bum, snorting at his bout of cheekiness, Loki parts from your lips to kiss you on the cheek before fully pulling away to see your beautiful face once again.

“We could have been doing that this whole time.”

Loki chuckles, bringing up his hand to move a fallen piece of hair out of your eyes, “Forgive me then. I just hope I can make up for it.”

“Oh my love.” You slyly muse, “I know just how we could do that.”

#loki #loki x reader #loki x you #loki x y/n #marvel imagine #marvel x reader #marvel x you #marvel x y/n #loki laufeyson #god of mischief #tom hiddleston

[americasmarauders]

Hey Luiza!! Ok so I don’t know if this is too big of an ask BUT would you maybe consider, if you’re comfortable with it, writing up (from prompt list 1) #24 that leads into #11 with Tim Drake?

author's note: has this been sitting in my ask box for, what, 4 months? yes it has. I'm deeply sorry for that, love, but suddenly life got in that way, and I found myself unmotivated and uninspired. But now, hopefully, I'll have a couple of weeks of peace and I managed to complete this request. I hope you don't mind, but I put my own spin on the prompts, slightly altering them. Hopefuly it's up to par with what you expected. I re-worked an old draft of mine, one that was supposed to be a royal!au based on Love Story by Taylor Swift, to fit the prompts. It's still a royal!au and it still has some colors of Taylor Swift, nevertheless I hope you like it.

prompts: #24: banter in which one of them’s like… “i love you” and the other person’s like “ok” and the first one’s like “say it back” and the other one’s just like “no 😝” and the first one gets frustrated because “why wouldn’t you say it back we always say i love you before we leave”

#11: when one of them is hurt by the antagonist… and their lover goes… absolutely ballistic and does everything in their power to get to the person they love, to the point in which the antagonist and it’s crew have to physically restrain them… and it still doesn’t stop them… they just keep kicking… doesn’t matter what happens to them… doesn’t matter if they get beaten in the process… as long as their lover is safe… words: 3,982

masterlist

request masterlist

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She leaned to the railing of the balcony, summer air gently brushing on her skirt and her skin, a small smile playing at her lips. Her hands fidgeted nervously as she waited for her love to encounter her in that abandoned corner of her family’s palace.

A sigh escaped her lips as she attentively listened to the noises around her. The rumble of the party could still be heard, even if faintly. There were barely any rounds in that part of the castle, especially with the big ball her father had decided to throw. She had millimetrically chosen that balcony: something far enough from the ballroom, so they wouldn’t be bothered, but not too far in case they got caught. She could see the moon clearly from where she stood, its light illuminating the fountain down below beautifully. She thought about how his eyes would be beautiful under the Moon’s light and her heart fluttered.

She had been warned about the Waynes, mostly by her adoptive Father, who wasn’t exactly a fan of Bruce Wayne, King of Gotham. Their relationship was civil, but it wasn’t safe from animosities, many that had happened in their past, when both were still young princes trying to get their bearings of their upcoming roles. A war was brewing back then, a war that had not ended as of yet, and she remembered her Father telling her how palpable the tension in the air was, how exasperated his mentor was that he was as prepared to be a king both militarily and educationally. She only imagined King Bruce’s mentor felt the same.

Unfortunately, the antipathy extended to the plethora of adopted children King Bruce had. Her father always spoke of them with a corner of disdain, his lips twisting into a frown. He had to have contact with them, the trades of their kingdom depended on Gotham a whole lot, but he had shielded his children from the Wayne kids. When she was smaller, when she had just arrived in the castle fresh from the streets, she had believed every word from her Father. She had stayed away from them, actively avoiding them when she saw a pair of raven hair and bright eyes looking in her direction. When she grew up, she stopped thinking about dodging their attention so attentively, but still stayed out of their way, not wanting to get on her Father’s bad side.

The way she saw it, she didn’t exactly mess with the Waynes, in fact it was the other way around. Tim had stumbled onto her life, and he had been quite persistent, in spite of her trying to be cold towards him. He knew she really couldn’t resist him somehow, he always knew more than he ever let on, he saw the way she smiled when he’d pass through her on a stupid ball his Father threw for whatever reason. She pretended to not see him, to not feel his smile etched into her brain forever.

Tim managed to crawl his way to her heart and now she couldn’t imagine a life without his clever remarks and easy going smile. She remembered vividly when they danced for the first time. He had asked her, the first time he’d even whispered anything to her. It was like every eye was on her while she was hesitating to grab his hand. Her eyes flickered to his face, his smile faltered for a second. She remembered feeling her heart tightening at his deflation, and grabbed his hand immediately after.

His grip tightened on her hand, his smile firm and reassuring. She felt herself tense when they finally arrived on the dance floor, his other hand respectfully laying on her back. He whispered to her gently, begging to not let her eyes drift away from his. She listened to him, her heart beating fast, a mix of anxiety and something else, something better and new. He made snide comments about the people present at the Wayne ball, making laughter bubble underneath her skin. He had vanquished her nerves with a smile and bright eyes.

Hands slipped on her middle, hugging from behind. Tim’s scent flooded her, a smile blooming on her face. She moved to turn in his arms to face him, his hands allowing her movement. He was classically handsome, his blue eyes accentuated by the moonlight, sending butterflies to her entire being. His smile floored her, her hands finding his face, caressing lightly his cheeks.

“No one saw you?” she whispered, her forehead leaning on his, her breath mingling with his.

“No,” he shook his head, his forehead grazing on hers. His hands cradled her face, his eyes closed. “You look breathtaking tonight,” his voice was steady and precise.

“You don’t look too bad yourself,” she smirked, her hands falling to his shoulders delicately. Her eyes were filled with an inexplicable love, something that consumed her wholly. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too,” his lips ghosted over hers, tempting her to close the tiny gap between them. She chased the smile growing on her lips, closing the space between them and interlocking their lips. Tim had promptly responded to her kiss with a gentleness only he was capable of, kindness that made something inside her explode.

She rested her forehead on his, looking deep into his moonlit eyes with an adoration that couldn’t be contained by the vessel of her body anymore. Her heart felt calm again, next to him it was like every cell of her body was finally settling into some level of tranquility. The sinking hole she felt when he was miles away back in his kingdom was rapidly filled when he smiled at her and rested his hand on her cheek. The world was filled with screaming colors once again.

“I wish I didn’t have to leave you,” he confessed, his voice barely over a whisper, his hands cradling her face carefully.

“I know, Tim,” the whisper fled from her lips, “I feel the same, but we have to, we’ve talked about this.”

“I know,” a sigh escaped his lips, defeated and resigned. He took a step back, putting space between them. She immediately felt his absence, a coldness settling inside her. His elbows rested brutally on the railing of the balcony, his knuckles as tense as his jaw. She felt it in her bones that something was deeply wrong with him, something inside him had shifted. “We could run, you know?” he suggested, his eyes finding hers once again, full of hope. “I have a safe house far away, Kon helps me keep it. We could settle down there, live a calm life.”

“Where’s this coming from, Timmy?” she whispered, her eyes closed imagining the life Tim had laid out for her.

“I’m so tired, love,” his head shook from side to side, “I'm so tired of fighting, of briefing meetings and seeing innocents die. I don’t know if I can’t take it anymore.”

“I know,” her hands rested on top of his, “but, Tim, we can’t. We can’t leave everyone behind, this is bigger than us.”

“Why not?” his voice grew with a strong tone of anger. “I just want one thing, Y/N, one thing. I want to be able to love you, without all this weight on my back that I’ve been carrying ever since my parents handed me to Bruce when I was 12. I’m exhausted all the time, I miss you like I’m missing my own heart all the time. I can’t take this anymore.”

“Tim...” she started, her voice soft and understanding, but he quickly interrupted her.

“Marry me,” he turned to her abruptly, grabbing her hands tightly. Her mouth was agape, her heart beating out of her chest. “We can get married quietly at dawn, and then we’ll live at my safe house, we’ll make it a home.”

Her eyes flew crazily over his face, looking for any hint that he was playing a prank on her, pulling purposefully on the strings of her heart. His face didn’t betray any signs of any lies, her mouth got dry and her hands started to sweat. Her brain ran a thousand different scenarios, trying to grasp onto some hope that maybe what Tim had suggested to her might work. She found none.

She shook her head, her throat tightening up. “We can’t,” she whispered, her hands slipping from his. “It wouldn’t work, Timmy. We would be hunted down, we wouldn’t have peace at all. We’d have to live a life constantly running from our past.”

“So we’d do it,” he went to grab her hands again, but she didn’t let him, his hands grasping into summer air. “I can find other houses across the continent, I can make sure we are not found.”

Tears escaped her eyes, betraying her feelings to Tim. She shook her head, her arms crossing over her stomach. “No,” she whispered, “I can’t.”

“Hey,” his fingers lifted her chin, making her look at him, “penny for your thoughts?”

She couldn’t handle being touched by Tim, his touch poisoned her thoughts. If he touched her, she’d make a decision she’d regret, and she wouldn’t have that. “I can’t do it, Tim, I can’t leave everything behind.”

“It’s not going to be easy,” he started, “but we’ll make it.”

“You’re not understanding,” her voice showed the bubbling anger and fear inside her, “I can’t abandon everything like you’re suggesting, Tim. I can’t leave all those people who depend on me, all those families that expect me to show up and give them some comfort,” she sniffed, brushing off a couple of tears running on her cheeks. “If I leave, Tim, I’d be miserable.”

He took a step back at the brutality of her words. “You’d have me,” he whispered, “I’ll love you until the end of my days, I’d never let you be miserable.”

“It wouldn’t be enough,” she replied, her knuckles tight. “I love you, Tim, with everything in me, more than the number of stars in the Universe, but it wouldn’t be enough to cover the guilt I’d feel.”

He inhaled a sharp breath, his hands gripping the railings angrily. “I’m leaving to battle tomorrow,” he stated, his voice steady and impassive.

“I know,” a mutter left her lips.

“This is your last chance before I go,” he turned to her briskly, “please, run away with me.”

“No,” she shook her head, her voice barely a whisper.

Tim huffed and left, his footsteps heavy and angry. But it wasn’t that that had broken her heart. They always said ‘I love you’ when they had to say goodbye.

Tim hadn’t said ‘I love you’.

#

#

Out of everything Tim was expecting from his day -- to dying on the battlefield, to ending a war, the list was practically endless -- he hadn’t expected receiving the letter that was in his hands.

He didn’t even know Roy knew about them. He must have guessed, though, she told everything to Roy, she loved him deeply, a love he sometimes wished resembled the love he shared with his own brothers. But things in the Wayne household were different, more secretive and cold. Sometimes, Tim thought back on how different his life would have turned out if his parents hadn’t dropped him off at Wayne Manor to run. Maybe, he would have followed in his father’s footsteps and became a fine swordsmith, maybe worthy enough to work for the Wayne family like his father before him. Maybe, it would have happened what his parents feared the most: they would have run out of business, losing every penny they owned and living in poverty for the rest of their existence.

Tim was ultimately glad his parents had made that tough decision, he wouldn’t be a Prince if they hadn’t, he wouldn’t have met his soulmate if they hadn’t.

Her. He had royally screwed up with her, he shouldn’t have pushed her too far, he knew where she stood on the subject. But he felt his impatience grow inside of him, his frustrations got the better of him and soon he was blinded only by his undying love for her and the anger he felt at the world for failing him once again.

Tim hadn’t said ‘I love you’ to her when he left. It was that realisation that pained in his chest even now, as Jason handed him a foreign letter from Roy, her brother. It was that regret that flooded him when he read the rushed words scratched on paper, his heart picking up a beat as his eyes processed the fatalistic words presented to him.

He stood up briskly from his seat, ignoring Dick rambling about the strategy they were supposed to adopt to overturn their enemy. He heard some complaints, Bruce calling after him asking where he was going. Tim ignored, only capable of focusing on the letter and his last conversation with her, the things he did not say to her and the regret he felt on the things that had been said.

Tim didn’t have anything on him other than his sword and that cursed piece of paper, but he still made his way to the stables, overlooking the weird stares he received on the way. His horse was softly munching on some hay, unaware of the ride she was about to be put on. The letter found its way to Tim’s pocket hastily, as he put on his saddle on his mare, his jaw tight with emotion.

“So that’s it?” Tim heard, closing his eyes at the voice. “You’re just gonna march to Star City, because Roy sent you a letter?”

“It’s not that, Jason,” Tim muttered, hyper-focused on securing the saddle on his horse.

“I wish I could make you do shit that easily, I would’ve made you do my field notes ages ago,” Jason liked teasing his brother, Tim guessed it was because it was easy to get a reaction out of him.

“It’s not that,” he gritted through his clenched teeth, aggressively releasing the lock of the saddle. His mare complained at the gesture. Even her found a way to scold Tim.

“Then what is it? What’s more important in Star City than here, with your army, fighting for our people?” Jason cleared, watching the anger rise in Tim’s expression quickly and overwhelmingly.

Tim shook his head, not allowing his brother to have the satisfaction of gaining a reaction out of him. He promptly got up on his horse, gently guiding her towards the exit. Jason got in front of his horse, stopping the motion completely. “Get out of the way, Jason,” Tim’s voice was low and menacingly, “I won’t warn you a second time.”

“You don’t scare me, Timothy,” Jason scoffed at his brother’s attempt of intimidation. “Get over yourself, baby bird, you can’t scare me. Now, tell me, why such a rush?”

Tim’s eyes hovered on his brother’s face, looking down at him. The letter was fished out of his pocket and tossed to Jason. His brother caught it, and hastily read its contents. “So? If they needed help containing these rebels they wouldn’t have sent you a letter,” Jason argued, his hands motioning to his brother.

“Jason,” Tim softly said, “read it again.”

His brother looked at him weirdly and did as he said. His eyes moved more slowly now, taking in the words that had ripped Tim’s heart out of his chest. “Oh,” Jason muttered, looking up at his brother once again, “oh.”

“Get out of the way, please,” Tim begged, his voice breaking.

“What are you gonna do when you get there?” Jason asked, confused at his brother’s reaction. “It’s not like you have any medical expertise, Tim, you’re not going to be able to help her.”

“I don’t know, Jason, I just have to be there,” he responded, briskly. His voice was full of contained emotion, like if Tim mad one false step everything would overflow and he would inevitably break. “I can’t lose her, I just can’t.”

Jason sighed, one of his hands resting on the holster of his sword the other on his waist. It was like he was thinking everything through, analysing thousands of scenarios Tim couldn’t even fathom. Jason was the brother everyone underestimated. He was exceptionally strong and big, he had a knack for violence no other Wayne boy had, but he was an incredible strategist, maybe the best out of all of them.

He stepped out of the way not before saying “I’ll cover for you, but I can’t promise they won’t find out.”

With that Tim ran off, the wind whipping angrily at his hair, reflective of the storm inside himself.

#

#

Tim dismounted from his horse just outside the gates of her family’s castle. The guards looked at him suspiciously, as he strode proudly toward the gate that separated him and her. He eyed the guards with an austerity he reserved for a few occasions, he never liked making people feel inferior, but his morals were askew in light of the news weighing down his chest.

“I demand to be let in,” he ordered, his voice stern and tight.

The guard in front of him raised an eyebrow, appalled by Tim’s audacity. “And who might you be?”

“I’m Prince Tim, of Gotham, and I will get in the castle, so please move,” he gathered all the authority he could muster inside him, and spoke as if he was the monarch of that kingdom.

“I’m sorry, Your Highness, but you do not have authority here,” the guard shook his head, his hand sliding to his sword slowly. Tim took that as a sign of hostility, trying in a peacock kind of way to show he was the one with the upper hand in the situation.

Tim scoffed at the pathetic demonstration, jumping at the throat of the guard and slamming him to the wall behind him. “Listen here, I have been riding for the past 5 hours, I have not stopped once and, at this point, I’m fuelled by spite and anger,” his voice was low and threatening, and he could see fear rise in the guard’s eyes. He couldn’t scare Jason, but he could scare other people. “I’m not going to be stopped by some mid-level pathetic guard,” it was weird saying insulting things to other people. Tim rarely bad-mouthed, but at that moment it felt liberating.

“Tim,” he felt a hand rest on his shoulder, “release the guard.”

Tim looked over his shoulder, Roy standing there with a calm expression, something that contradicted the feeling in his eyes. Tim shoved the guard out of his hands, dropping them violently to his sides. Roy ordered a guard to take care of Tim’s mare, gently leading Tim inside the castle’s grounds.

“She’s been asking for you,” Roy stated, his voice elusive and calm. “No one understands why, but I do.”

“How is she?” the words that Tim was afraid of saying slipped past his lips. Asking how she was made everything that had happened to her, something he had just found out, incredibly real.

“Considering that she spent the past few days being held hostage, considerably well,” Roy conceded, rubbing his hands behind his back. “A bit bruised and shaken up. But, as far as I know, well.”

“Good,” Tim swallowed the lump inside his throat, relieved to hear what Roy had said. They walked down a straight hallway, something he guessed took them from the main gates to near where she was staying.

“She told me what happened between you,” Roy manifested, filling the awkward silence growing. “She’s been beating herself up for it.”

“It’s my fault,” Tim shook his head, “I shouldn’t have said anything, I already knew her answer, it was stupid.”

“It wasn’t, trust me, if I was in the same position as you, I would’ve probably done the same,” he shrugged, turning a sharp left, “probably worse.”

Tim laughed, humourlessly, at Roy’s comment. “Listen, kid, I get it, truly. But with this,” Roy waved his hands around, “sometimes, you gotta play the long game.”

“I hate the long game,” Tim muttered, like a little kid.

“No one said it was going to be easy,” Roy scolded him, like his brother would have done. “But if you truly love her, like you say you do, then play your cards right.”

They stopped, in front of a dirty pink door, Roy’s hands gripped the handle, a small smirk on his face. Tim straightened his posture, shedding the young brother façade he unwillingly slipped on and reverting to the young Prince ways. He took a deep breath, shuffling to organize his emotions inside his brain. Roy opened the door and pushed Tim inside the room, rapidly closing the door back up.

He had never been to her room, even of all those years of courting secretly, sneaking into dark hallways, and kissing under the moonlight. Her room had always felt off bounds to him, even if it had never been expressed as such. He slowly walked into the room further, watching how every corner had her imprint in it.

She was sitting by the window, the curtains opened, a soft summer breeze gently moving her hair out of her eyes. She only wore a simple gown, almost a nightgown, making Tim feel incredibly overdressed. There were bruises littered over her arms and neck, and he felt a mixture of anger and guilt bubble underneath his skin. He struggled to contain it, hoping the people that had done that to her were already six feet underneath the ground.

Her gaze flipped to him, and his stomach somersaulted inside him. She opened a shy smile, waving timidly for him to approach her. He walked calmly towards her, his hands behind his back fidgeting nervously. She got up from her seat, and stood waiting patiently for him.

“Hi,” he whispered, in front of her. His hands itched to touch her, bring her closer and cradle her as if she was the most precious and delicate thing in the world. To him, she was.

“Hi,” she looked down at the ground, her feet bare. “I’m so--”

“No,” he interrupted her, “don’t. I’m the one who should be sorry, I’m the one to blame.”

“Tim, you didn’t do anything.”

“I did everything,” he admitted, “I didn’t say ‘I love you’,” tears sprung to his eyes, ones that he had been trying to keep at bay for a long time. “I left and suddenly you were in danger and I wasn’t there to help you. All because I was stupidly proud and bitter and I--”

“Stop,” her hands found his face, her thumbs brushing carefully on his cheekbones. “It’s not your fault, you couldn’t have known. I certainly didn’t.”

“I should have…”

“No, Timmy, you’re just a man,” she took a step closer, her body hovering next to him warmly. It was like the ice that had settled on him instantly melted when she stepped next to him, “one that I love very much. But I made mistakes that night, and so did you. And it’s okay.”

He breathed right for the first time in days. The guilt he had been carrying like a cross on his back felt lighter, almost nonexistent. A smile made way to his face, albeit a timid one, and he grabbed her hands, the warmth she irradiated seeping into him. “I missed you.”

She smiled at him, a smile no longer free of hurt, but full of more meaning than before. “There was a question you asked that night,” she whispered, her breath mingling with his, “one I didn’t answer.”

“There was?”

“Yes,” she nodded, her nose brushing on his delicately. “Ask it again.”

“Are you sure?” Tim looked into her eyes, looking for a sign of uncertainty or regret.

“Just ask it.”

“Will you marry me?” he whispered, his lips brushing hers.

“Yes.”

#

#

#tim drake fanfic #tim drake x reader #tim drake x fem!reader #tim drake x you #tim drake x oc #tim drake #batfamily #batfam #tim drake fanfiction #tim drake fluff #fanfiction #fanfic #royal!au #my masterlist

[vanderlustwords]

Under the Sheets

(not my gif)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Prompt: 9) There’s only one bed, and we sleep as far away as possible from each other but wake up cuddling

Requester: Anonymous 

Summary: Bucky spends more time out of his dorm than in it with how much his roommate amorously makes love to his girlfriend. Luckily, his cute across-the-hall neighbor is generous about lending her place to him. Bucky’s unsure if he wants to hug or kiss his roommate for putting him in the situation he is in now. 

Note: Thank you for sending this in! :) This trope is the OG.

Count: 3948

⊶⊶⊶⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷

You would say that every meeting you've had with James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes is always a series of unfortunate events. 

The first time was when you were locked outside of your dorm room because you're an idiot without a roommate. Since it wasn't your first incident, you were very reluctant to call the campus security guard to let you in. You're pretty sure he hates you. 

Luckily, across the hall, you had some new neighbors. 

"You must be James-"

"Bucky, please," he offers you an easy, charming smile. 

"Bucky, nice to meet you," you smiled back.

You had been standing outside your door for quite sometime when Bucky came back, explaining how Steve was out with his girlfriend. As it would be, Bucky knew how to pick a locked door open. You only got a laugh when you asked him about such questionable skills he had.

The next time you met Bucky was when you spilled your grocery bags all over the floor before entering into your building. Bucky seemed to just arrive home from his afternoon classes. 

"This is so embarrassing," you muttered with flushed cheeks as Bucky helped you pick everything up.

"Well, no use crying over spilled milk."

"I haven't bought milk," you joked, causing him to laugh. Bucky had helped you carry your groceries in.

"No roommate?" He looked around the place, seeing how the extra room you had turned into a study room.

"Nope! Well, I mean, I had one earlier in the year, but she moved out after 3 months to transfer to another university. They didn't assign me with anyone else." 

"Lucky," Bucky sighed.

"Roommate problems?" You raised your brow. You had come to know that Bucky and Steve have been friends since they were in diapers, now seemingly grown and going to university together too. 

It seemed hard to believe the two friends would not like rooming together.

"Not problems, per se," Bucky licked his lips. "Just Steve likes to bring Peggy over a lot, and she stays the night often. I guess her roommate is kind of a psychopath."

You nodded slowly and understandingly. It was probably difficult to get studying done or sleep with hearing your roommate fuck at night.

"Well," you offer him a nervous smile, "you are always welcome here if you need the space to study."

"Thanks, doll."

It seems after that, Bucky took your offer quite seriously. Over the next few weeks, he would show up to your place in the evening needing some quiet to work on his papers and upcoming tests.

You certainly didn't mind the company, sometimes having the place to yourself could be a little lonely when everyone else had their roommates to hang out with. 

It was almost kind of nice—an easy friendship brewing between the two of you. 

The thought of dating never really crossed your mind because you weren't ignorant of the fact that Bucky was wildly popular across campus. Steve was too, but Peggy Carter was also wildly popular herself, making them a dream couple. 

So, all sorts of people were trying to put themselves on Bucky's radar.

And, well, you were just you. 

You were just flittering through your university life. You had friends, of course, game nights were on Friday, and went out on the occasional weekend to drink. 

Really, the only time you got to spend time with Bucky was within your dorm building. 

"I brought takeout!" Bucky holds up thick bags with food. You can smell the contents right away and smile.

"Thai food?" You smile, hopeful, in case you're somehow wrong.

Bucky grins at you as you let him in. He puts the bags on the counter, and you help him take the things out.

"Yeah, I saw you staring at their building while I was on the way to class the other day," he laughs. "How long did you stand there?"

You felt your cheeks warm at being caught by someone.

"Only ten minutes," you mumble. 

Bucky licks his tongue against his bottom lip, smiling at you as he takes a seat.

You moan, almost a little inappropriately when you take your first bite.

"God, it's been way too long," you sigh happily as you munch away.

Bucky laughs, "For someone who likes Thai food so much, I don't see you eat it too often."

You shrug. "Thai food is one of those things where there's a lot of dishes that are shared. My friends, unfortunately, don't share my love for Thai food."

"Blasphemous!" Bucky gasps dramatically and jokingly, but you follow along with a firm nod.

"That's what I've been saying!"

Bucky grins. "Alright, how about your boyfriend?"

You roll your head over to Bucky with a look. "I think as often as you spend here, you should know by now I don't have one."

"Just checking," Bucky shrugs. "Any particular reason why?"

You quirk your brow at him. "Well, I'll tell you if you tell me why you haven't got a girl. Lord knows you don't have a shortage of options."

Bucky chuckles as he looks at you, scooping more food into your mouth. His eyes soften for just a moment.

"Just waiting on the right girl is all," he says, looking back at his food when you look up at him.

"Ah, then we're two peas in a pod," you smile, "I'm also waiting for the right person, and unfortunately, the only guys on my roster right now are frat boys."

You scrunch your face a little, and Bucky lets out a burst of laughter at your expression.

"Any particular reason for that?" He asks.

"One of my friends is in a sorority," you sigh. "She thinks she can get me to join if she shoves hot guys my way. I'm actually going to get dragged to a party on Saturday."

"Well," Bucky licks his lip, "is it working?"

"Not even in the slightest," you smirk.

Bucky grins. 

⊶⊶⊶⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷

"I don't want to study anymore, my brain is melting," Bucky groans as he leans back against your couch with his head facing the ceiling.

His eyes shut as he tries to make all the words disappear from his head, and you laugh at him.

"It's only been two hours," you point out. "Don't you have a huge test on Saturday afternoon?"

"I can't," Bucky moans dramatically. "I can't anymore. I should accept my inevitable doom and fail."

You roll your eyes with a smile as you lean forward and close his books. "Alright, drama queen. I think you just need a break. Why don't we just put on a movie?"

"Annnnd, now my brain is unmelting," Bucky sits up with an excited twinkle in his eye. 

You end up watching three movies, but by the third movie, you fall asleep. 

Bucky sits there, eyes drifting to you with ease as the movie plays on.

You snored a little, causing him to smile involuntarily. 

Alright, Bucky admits, you were just beyond adorable to him. 

But finding the right person also takes time.

⊶⊶⊶⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷

Friday night is game night. 

Your friends get much too rowdy as you try to quiet them down, knowing Bucky is probably trying to study across the hall. 

One of your friends drinks way too much and ends up passing out on the couch, dead to the world. 

"Alright, let's call it a night," you yawn as you stand up and stretch. It's well past 1 AM as your friends get up.

"Should we wake him?" One of your friends asks.

"Nah, just leave him. I don't even know if he will wake up," you and your friends share a quick laugh as they leave your building.

"Don't forget we have the party tomorrow," your friend, Mary Jane, pulls you in for a hug.

"Right," you drawl, "Another attempt to find me a gross, frat boyfriend?"

"I mean, show me another guy on your roster, and I won't try to drag you to these parties," Mary Jane laughs.

You made some noise of agreement as you pat her back before she lets go, walking to the door and giving you a little wave before leaving. 

You stretch again before you go to your closet to bring out an extra blanket and set it over your friend. You grab a glass of water and some Advil because you know that poor sucker will feel it tomorrow.

You look in the fridge and groan when you see you've run out of eggs. Typically, you wouldn't mind getting them in the morning, but your friend was someone who needed food immediately when they were hungover. You weren't willing to wake up any earlier to get the eggs in the morning, so you closed the fridge and got ready to head to the 24-hour convenience store down the block. 

You were casually scrolling through your phone as you left your apartment. When you opened the door, you could hear some...sounds from Bucky's apartment, and you felt instant pity for the man. You were ready to leave the building when a figure sitting in the lobby scared the shit out of you.

"Holy fuc--Bucky?"

Bucky looked up with slightly bleary eyes, and it looks like he was still studying as he had his textbook in his lap along with his notebook.

"Oh, what are you doing down here?" He asked, sounding rather tired. 

"What are you doing down here?" You retorted. "It's almost 2 AM. Don't you have a huge test tomorrow?"

"...Steve and Peggy had a fight..." Bucky pressed his lips together, and you don't need to ask further that the noises you heard earlier were them making up.

You wheedle from foot to foot while you look at Bucky. He looks exhausted, and you feel awful he's been sitting out here for God knows how long.

"How long were you out here for?"

"I don't know," Bucky shrugs, "Couple hours?"

You sigh. "Why didn't you just let me know. You could've come over."

"It was game night for you, wasn't it?" Bucky blinks because he was pretty sure he saw your sorority friend leave about 10 minutes ago. 

You let out a pretty deep sigh, holding your hand out in front of him.

He scrunches his brows.

"C'mon," you wiggle your fingers, "come get some eggs with me, and you can crash at my place tonight."

Bucky gives you a light grin as he closes his textbook and grabs your hand as you put very little effort into pulling him up. 

⊶⊶⊶⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷

There's a body.

In the place where Bucky thought he was going to sleep. 

You don't seem to pay any mind to it as you put the eggs and orange juice away in the fridge.

Bucky is thinking a mile a minute.

The couch was taken, and the extra room you had was turned into a study room. 

Was he supposed to sleep on the carpet? Were you going to give him a sleeping bag?

"Hey," Bucky grabs your attention, "Where should I crash?"

You shut the fridge door, running your hand through your hair as you make your way to your room.

"We can just bunk in the same bed," you say with a shrug, and Bucky thinks he might have a heart attack.

"You're okay with that?" Bucky asks slowly.

You shrug again, "Yeah, I bunk with people all the time. Don't you? It's like part of the university experience."

Bucky doesn't know how to say that he's probably doing more than just sleeping when he bunks with someone.

You turn around and lean at your doorframe, quirking your brow with a smirk.

"Don't tell me you aren't enough of an adult to share a bed with me."

Getting a rise out of Bucky seems to work as Bucky stalks into your bedroom.

"I'll show you an adult," he mutters childishly, and you roll your eyes with a smile.  

And although Bucky says such big words, he's lying stiff as a board on the bed. He lies as close to the edge as possible without falling with his back turned to you, and you can't help but chuckle a little.

"You can unclench, you know. I hardly doubt you'll get some rest if you lie there like a metal rod," you say, but you're also lying pretty close to the edge with your back turned to him, though not as stiff. 

It's silent for a moment, but eventually, you feel the bed shift a little as Bucky relaxes. 

It's silent again, and you feel yourself starting to fall asleep.

"Who was that on your couch?" Bucky asks, breaking the silence.

"Hm?" You hum, opening your eyes slightly. "Oh, just a friend. He usually doesn't come to game night, but his boyfriend is visiting back home this weekend. He went a little too hard on the drinks."

"He's gay?"

"Yeah, got a problem?" You ask almost daring Bucky to say he does. 

"Definitely not," Bucky smiles. 

It's silent again.

"So--"

"Go to sleep, dumbass, you have a test in the morning," you say without opening your eyes. You hear Bucky chuckle softly. 

"Goodnight, doll."

"Goodnight," you smile. 

⊶⊶⊶⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷

Warm. 

Bucky felt warm. Maybe a little too warm. 

He hasn't opened his eyes yet, but he can feel sunlight hitting his face and hear the birds chirping outside. 

Bucky takes a deep breath in and feels shifting in his arms. He moves a little, pulling the warmth in closer. 

He roughly hums in the back of his throat when he feels lips press against his collarbone.

It hits him like a freight train.

Bucky immediately opens his eyes, his body becoming rigid again as you come into view. 

What started with the two of you sleeping at the furthest edges of the bed with your backs turned to each other ended up being the very opposite. 

Sometime during the middle of the night, the two of you gravitated towards the middle of the bed. You were wrapped up in his arms, head just under his chin. He could feel your breath on the base of this throat, and it was giving him goosebumps.

Your hands were wrapped around his back, gripping his shirt slightly. Bucky couldn't even move too much with your legs intertwined with his. A groan wanted to escape his lips with his thigh wedged between your legs.

Bucky tried to move slowly without waking you. 

He really did.

But then you let out a whine, holding him tighter and clenching your legs to lock his thigh in.

"Stop moving," you whined.

God, Bucky doesn't think he'll make it. He's already got morning wood, and this is too much. 

He calls your name in an attempt to wake you up. 

"Doll, you gotta get up, I have a test soon," he says instead when you hardly react to him calling your name. 

This time, you do blearily open your eyes with a huff. 

You untangle yourself from him as Bucky lets out a quiet sigh of relief. Sitting up, you let out a yawn and let out a big stretch, your shirt riding a little up as you do. 

You look at your clock.

"Alright, there's about an hour before your test. Eat some breakfast before you go."

"It's really fin--"

"Break. fast."

You leave the room, and Bucky is left sitting there by himself. The morning passes quickly as you make breakfast. The sounds nor the smell seem to wake your friend up.

"Good luck on your test!" You smile at him as you make him a breakfast sandwich for him to go. 

Bucky smiles back with a 'thanks' before he leaves your place confused.  

Did this morning not affect you at all? Did you not see him as a man? 

Bucky was distracted during the whole test.

⊶⊶⊶⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷

You held your smile until you heard the footsteps fade from your door.

After that, you nearly screamed. You stalked over to your hungover friend and whipped a pillow into his face.

"Ack!" He wakes up, nearly falling off the couch. He groans instantly when he sees your face.

"I'm so hungover, oh my god," your friend moans. 

Your face feels hot as it's flushed in embarrassment. "This is all your fault for drinking too much and crashing on the couch! I should've pushed you onto the floor!"

You let out a groan before you stalked off to the washroom, closing the door. 

Your friend sits up, looking at the plate of eggs and bacon on the table. 

"What'd I do?"

⊶⊶⊶⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷

The entire day leading up to the party is spent with you trying to contain your embarrassment. You're trying to repress the memory of being pressed up against Bucky and clingy. 

You didn't hear from Bucky after his test, and you were much too mortified to say anything, so you hadn't texted him either. 

"You look constipated, please take some shots and relax," Mary Jane hands you tequila with a lime slice.

You shoot back the shot without hesitation.

"Alright," Mary Jane whistles, "Do I even want to know what's got your panties in a knot?"

"Nope," you shake your head.

"Alright, fair enough. Get some more drinks and mingle!" Mary Jane turns her attention past you. You look behind and see her current boyfriend, Harry, enter the room with kegs.

You sigh when Mary Jane looks at you with puppy eyes.

"Go," you tell her. She squeals and kisses you on the cheek before rushing off. 

You do flitter through the party, catching up with some friends, and getting some drinks. 

As embarrassed as you are, the last thing you want is to get sloppy, so you don't overdo it. 

But as you already know, luck is never on your side. 

Especially when you see Bucky walking into the party. People are getting excited and rushing up to say hi to him because Bucky rarely goes to frat parties. 

The two of you lock eyes instantly, and the memory of this morning rushes back, and you wished the ground would open up and swallow you.

'Play it cool,' you tell yourself as you turn back to the group of people you're standing with. 

You're not even sure what they've been talking about, and there's no way you could focus on that now. 

Bucky doesn't seem to be rushing up to you either. He's drinking a beer with Harry as a crowd surrounds them. 

You can see girls in the back looking at him and whispering, and you feel the burn in your gut now for some reason. 

God, were you such a cliché that sharing a bed with Bucky actually made you think that way about him?

The night seems to continue on, and even though you keep catching eyes with Bucky, neither of you seems willing to make the first move. 

You head over to the bar to get more drinks when someone approaches you and orders you a drink. 

You internally groan.

Brock Rumlow. 

A real piece of work. 

He made it into Theta Chi, well-known to be a troublemaker. 

He was known to sleep around and make unwanted advances towards girls and was hardly passing his classes.

Brock had turned his attention to you lately, which you flat out rejected him. It helped that you were friends with Mary Jane, who was dating Harry, the president of Theta Chi, and could tell Brock to back off. 

But Brock Rumlow liked to push his boundaries. 

"You look pretty good tonight, did you dress pretty for me?" He smirks at you, and you roll your eyes.

"Fuck off, Rumlow. I already told you I'm not interested," you look away, not bothering to take the drink he ordered for you. 

"Now don't be like that, you haven't even gotten to know me yet," Brock leans against the counter close to you. 

"And as I've explicitly told you, no," you whip your head back and glare at him. 

You're about to walk off and see if you could find Mary Jane and Harry when Brock grabs your arm. 

"What the fuck-" You start to say when another arm comes into view, grabbing Brock's wrist. 

You look over to see Bucky standing there with his lip pressed into a thin line as he grips Brock's wrist hard enough until he lets go.

"Ow--what's your problem, dude?" Brock holds his wrist before shaking the pain off.

"Keep your hands off her," Bucky cocks his brow as he stands in front of you.

"How about you mind your business," Brock glares at him. "What? Are you her boyfriend?"

Bucky is standing so close to you that you can see his muscles tense, and you find yourself wrapping your arms around him from behind.

"Yes," you interrupt as Bucky lifts his arm over you and then around you so that you're tucked by his side. "He is my boyfriend."

You look up with a loving smile, trying to play the part when you find Bucky's steel-blue eyes gazing back at you.

He licks his lips, teeth dragging over his bottom lip, you swear so slowly before he smirks and looks back at Brock.

"So," Bucky keeps smiling, "fuck off."

"You could've just said you had a boyfriend," Brock grumbles at you like it's your fault somehow.

"My girlfriend doesn't have to say anything. Do you need to be taken back to elementary school to understand what 'no' or 'I'm not interested' means?" Bucky cocks his brow, and Brock sneers at him.

He looks like he wants to cause a scene, but Bucky is a well-known guy around campus, even if he's not in a fraternity house. Brock knows nothing good would come from starting a fight with Bucky, and he's already on thin ice with Harry.

And Bucky knows that. 

So, he turns to you with a smile.

"C'mon, doll, let's get out of here."

As you get ready to leave, Bucky turns to Brock once more with a steely look on his face.

"Stay the fuck away from my girl."

Bucky actually leads you out of the party, saying a brief goodbye to Harry and Mary Jane, who wiggles her brows at you, and you're so grateful to have left.

The two of you walk silently but slowly back to the apartment, and you've got your arms wrapped around your midsection. 

You cough, bringing Bucky's attention to you as you come to a stop under the streetlight.

"Thanks," you say a little awkwardly, "for you know, playing along."

Bucky smiles lightly. 

"If those are the kind of guys on your roster, I think you should expand your horizons a little."

"Not all of us can have a guy like you on our list, but I'll take that under advisement."

You laugh, trying to play it off as a joke because even though it was all just pretend for a moment, being pressed up against Bucky as his girlfriend shouldn't have felt as good as it did.

"You can add me to your roster."

The words were said so smoothly you had almost missed it. You turn your head to Bucky, who's standing there with his hands in his pockets. 

"What?" You say unsurely, convinced you might've heard him wrong.

"I told you I was waiting for the right girl," Bucky smiles, "I'm waiting for you, doll."

You feel an explosion of butterflies in your stomach, cheeks heating up as you process Bucky's words. 

Every meeting you've had with Bucky is a series of unfortunate events. 

And perhaps between every moment, while waiting for the right guy to come along, it only took waking up in his arms to realize maybe he was there all along. 

#v.myfic #g.fluff #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes oneshot #bucky x reader #bucky barnes fluff #avengers imagine #modern avengers au #avengers au #marvel fanfic #marvel imagine

[claire-devereux]

Looking for RP Connections (New Main OC):

Name: Claire Devereux

Gender: Woman (She/Her)

Age: 24

Race: Midlander Hyur

Ethnicity: Half Hannish (Mother: Marina Yardeen) - Half Sharlayan (Father: Oberyon Devereux) 

Occupation: Studium dropout (Allowed to dropout as a courtesy, but in truth, girl was expelled) 

Sexual Orientation: Bisexual 

Data Center: Crystal (Balmung)

Personality: 

Claire is opinionated, stylish, and generous. She’s a kind person who has more empathy than she lets on, but she unfortunately has a host of less great traits that make it difficult for her to act on her most compassionate instincts. 

She can be very insincere and cold when she is in a situation that makes her feel vulnerable. Despite now being broke and desperate, she’s still surprisingly snobby and elitist in ways that come off as bizarrely self-unaware. She still thinks like an heiress with a very much in-tact sense of entitlement. In coping with her lost status and wealth, she is a bit insecure and almost needs to believe she’s still somehow better than others. 

She can be surprisingly brave and maternal and encourages people to be their best self (though usually it’s by her definition). She also hates bullies because she is slowly realizing she used to be one. 

She understands her new commoner bitch reality, but she clings to the delusional of status she used to have as her last remaining safety blanket. With enough time spent around some more down-to-earth / down-to-Hydaelyn characters, she should eventually evolve past some of this. 

Potential RP Hooks for your character to meet Claire  and additional info below  

(Feel free to message me on here or in game if you want to set up RP. All character types welcome.)

Your character might recognize her face or name as the disgraced party girl mess whose family disowned her:  be it as a fellow Thavnairian or someone from Sharlayan who was familiar with her embarrassing exit from the Studium. 

She is desperately looking for a job, even though she isn’t good at anything. She could try coming to you. (Even if just to be rejected because roleplaying her responding to misfortune is lots of fun

She carries herself like a noble, but is forced to be out and about on the same streets as everyone else. She’s a superficially appealing mark if your criminal character wants to try to rob her or kidnap her--only to find she hilariously is broke AF

You meet her outside a city in a hilarious but dangerous damsel in distress situation where she tried to do an adventurer leve she wasn’t qualified for and needs rescuing

She is trying to sell off one of her old dresses or accessories to continue her idle and unemployed existence in Eorzea as her funds rapidly deplete.

She slips into old habits and over indulges on fine dining and liquor, only to realize she can’t afford the bill

You see her getting very clearly ripped off as someone who isn’t used to doing her own shopping. 

You are an adventurer in the mood to mentor a hilariously inept and spoiled novice who clearly wasted her magical talents in her youth and is dreadfully behind in every facet of spellcasting. She clearly has a gift for magic, but it’s yet another thing she had handed to her and never did anything to develop or earn. 

RP Preferences:

Adventure:

I love GMing adventure RP. Claire is clueless when it comes to adventure stuff, so I would be improvising some scenario where she desperately needs your character’s help completing a leve OR rescuing her. I am well versed in the lore and used to run an RP guild.  Slice of Life:  Claire is deeply into the finer things in life and can talk your ear off about all things related to food, drink, and fashion. But she’s also broke now so she will be hoping to hear about your life and vicariously live through you if you have any modicum of success.  Mystery:  I write a mean mystery storyline for RP, so if you’re interested in being part of that, I am happy to run it. Claire would be a supporting character, but the non-Claire characters would largely be the ones interacting with the story. Think DnD or other TTRPG systems.  Romance:  Claire is pretty open to romance, but she’s still figuring herself out and is still a bit of a snobby brat so that growth would have to be a part any romantic interactions. 

ERP:

Claire is currently avoiding sex as part of her disgraced reputation includes being slut-shamed. Maybe down the road with the right person, but for now, she’s trying really hard to be good as her relationship with sexuality has been damaged by toxic social pressures. Free Company:

I am open to joining RP Free Companies if necessary, but I’m sentimentally attached to my current free company and would rather RP without joining your company. Happy to join Linkshells though! 

Rambles about making Claire:

After a long hiatus from FFXIV RP, I’m dipping my toes back into it with a new OC. 

During my hiatus I built on the old Arden character and tried to connect more with the kind of arc I have in mind for her. 

I realized I love stories about heroines who are deeply flawed and who are trying to rise from their mistakes, but I also decided that I wanted to write a character who didn’t completely belong in FFXIV adventurer culture. I wanted both a defrosting ice queen redemption situation, but also a fish out of water storyline. 

Inspiration 

I took inspiration from Jane Austen’s Emma in the way she earnestly thought she knew best for everyone and in the way she has never truly challenged herself.  Mostly I was inspired by  Alexis Rose from Schitt’s Creek and Tahani Al Jamil from The Good Place to warp Arden from a roguish anti-hero to a self-absorbed, ultra-privileged party girl who is desperately trying to reclaim the status, fortune, and reputation she has lost. Both these characters lose their riches and fame, but that background hilariously colors everything they do while also giving them room to grow dramatically. 

Every character has a bit of myself in it for psychological realism and catharsis. For her party girl background and Studium fall from grace, I took inspiration from my own ridiculous and ill-advised night life addiction during my undergraduate studies at Duke in terms of her party girl mistakes and mishaps. I look back on so many times where I felt unfairly judged for the partier reputation I had gotten but at the same time, knew all those mistakes were very much of my own making. That dissonance is definitely being brought to this character:

She knows she messed up, but deep down she both knows she had her reasons and knows those reasons weren’t good enough to excuse her behavior. She was using substances, alcohol, and partying to heal something that was broken in herself, but it was a selfish pursuit that damaged both her relationships, her own reputation, and the reputation of her family. She was so consumed with self-medicating her own pain that she had no thought of the ripple effects.  Fast forward to the present. She’s starting over in Eorzea where most people don’t know her as the disgraced Thavnairian FORMER heiress who disgraced herself while studying abroad in Sharlayan and got herself disinherited and disowned.  She has some magical abilities, but she spent so much of her time in school cultivating this sexy, rich, ice queen, fashionista persona that most of that talent has gone to waste. However prodigious she was a child, she has nothing to show for it as an adult other than simple magic tricks that would barely impress first and second year students back in Sharlayan.  The moment her life comes crashing down and she’s disconnected from her wealth, all of her so-called friends no longer choose to or need to tolerate her antics, ego, and indiscretions. She had built an entire social life on who her parents were and what she could afford. And now she has nothing.  Which is the most fertile and delicious place for a character to be. I’ve come to realize I love a character who is a failure. It’s comedic as she stumbles through learning how to be a commoner, it’s dramatic as she struggles to figure out who she really is without status or money or power, and it’s exciting to see how hard she will try to reclaim her old life---and even more exciting to see, after making friends and building a version of herself of her own design, whether that old life is something she even wants anymore. 

#ffxiv roleplay #ffxiv rp #crystal data center #balmung #Claire Devereux #FFXIV #hyur midlander #female hyur

[heavcnslyre]

ricky bowen x reader series! part ten

— starstruck au!

series masterlist, part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, part six, part seven, part eight, part nine, part ten

second series

IN WHICH you go to your school dance back in new york but somehow you’re still not rid of the one and only, ricky bowen.

WARNINGS super cheesy

NOTES the whole song he sings is typed out and i apologize for that i usually hate when people do that but i guess it pertains to the story HAHA. more notes at the end of the chapter!

( tags: @hesvoid34 )

text dividers from @writeyourmindaway !!

lowercase intended.

“are you sure you want to wear that to the dance?” camilla asked you as you looked at yourself in the bathroom mirror. you sighed. if you were honest, you hated this dress. it was frilly and a weird tan color, but your mom gave it to you to wear when you refused to go shopping. it used to be hers, and you could tell it was old.

“i don’t have anything else.”

she paused, considering. “you can borrow one of mine.”

“really?” you asked, turning to face her. “you never let me borrow your clothes unless you get something in return.”

“hm. i don’t know,” she said. “i just want to make sure you have a good time.”

you looked at her with a soft expression on your face. “thank you. where’s the dress?”

she disappeared into her room for a second and came back out, holding a (y/f/c) dress. it went mid-thigh and was a loose, flowy style. you smiled.

“it’s beautiful.”

“it’s one of my favorites,” camilla handed you the dress. “be careful with it.”

“i will,” you paused. “thank you, cam.”

she hummed and looked at it for a minute. “(y/n), is it true? did you really meet ricky in california?”

you sighed and set the dress on the counter, turning to face your sister. “yeah. yeah, we hung out a few times. he... kissed me.”

“you’re kidding!” she said. “then why did he say you never met?”

“he was worried about his career, i guess. was scared that being seen with me would make him lose a job in a tv show. so he broke things off.”

camilla looked at you, anger in her eyes. “that asshole!”

you laughed weakly. “yeah, thank you. you can still like his music and stuff i’m not... that bothered.”

“no. even if you aren’t bothered, i am. that’s awful. i’m really sorry,” she paused. “put the dress on then come to my room. i’ll do your hair.”

“okay.”

after about an hour, you were ready for the dance.

camilla did your hair pretty basically, with just giving it soft curls and pinning part of it back. she helped you do some basic makeup as well and you were actually excited for the dance for the first time. you slipped on a pair of flats and made your way downstairs.

“(y/n)!” your mom exclaimed as you approached her in the kitchen. “you look amazing!”

“thank you mom,” you said.

she insisted on a bunch of pictures in different places around the house as well as outside. you weren’t going to the dance with a guy or with any friends, so you took pictures by yourself or with camilla, which you didn’t mind. you send a picture of you to ashlyn, and she sent you an array of heart emojis. you laughed and slipped your phone into your dress pocket (another pro of this dress; it had pockets).

although you were excited for the dance, you were nervous. at this point, anyone you saw wanted to know about the ricky situation, and you didn’t want to talk about it. especially since now you were seen as a crazy fan who followed him around during your whole family vacation. you decided today though, you were going to ignore it.

as you were walking towards the entrance to your school, your phone started buzzing. you pulled it out and saw ashlyn was facetiming you.

“hey girl!” you said. she grinned through the phone.

“hey! you’re looking so good!” you laughed.

“wait, where are you?” you asked, noticing that ashlyn’s background didn’t look like her house. she grinned.

“keep walking.”

you raised your eyebrows and walked faster into the school. you opened the door and were met with ashlyn standing inside, grinning at you. she ended the facetime and you rushed forward to hug her.

“ashlyn! what are you doing here?!” you asked excitedly. she laughed and hugged you back tightly.

“i still have a couple days before i’m back at school, and i figured you’d want someone to dance with, right?”

“absolutely!” you exclaimed. “i’m so happy you’re here.”

“me too,” she said. she glanced at her phone quickly. “now c’mon! i’ve been waiting a while and the dj has played some good songs.”

you laughed and she pulled you into the school gym. there were a ton of people in there, dancing, laughing, talking, etc. chaperones were standing around awkwardly, watching the kids uncomfortably. ashlyn pulled you directly into the middle of the dance floor and wasted no time starting to dance. she was always more outgoing when it came to potentially embarrassing yourself in front of people. usually you held back a bit, but tonight, you didn’t give a shit about what people thought about you, and you danced your heart out with your cousin.

a few songs later, the dj walked away from his booth and the lights dimmed. people whispered in confusion but everyone gasped as someone walked onto the stage. you stood on your toes to try to figure out who it was, only to be met by ricky standing there, looking in the crowd.

“(y/n) (y/l/n)?” he said into the microphone. everyone cleared a path and ashlyn pushed you into the middle of it. your eyes met ricky’s and he beamed at you. “hi. i guess there’s a few things i forgot to say in california.”

the music started, and a song you didn’t recognize began to play. ricky kept his eyes on you as he began to sing.

common sense tells me kiss the girl goodbye

common sense tells me leave it all behind

common sense says the girl's not worth my time

but common sense ain't common when you come to mind

the song was slow and ricky sung softly. you noticed how his facial expressions were similar to how they were when you saw him singing at his parents party. his expression was soft and he was focused— but this time he was focused on more than just the music; he was focused on you.

common sense told me she was not worthwhile

common sense said don't go the extra mile

common sense said go back and reconcile

but common sense forgot about her smile

ricky seemed to suddenly be shy as he looked down at his feet and sang. you didn’t take your eyes off him.

second chances are thought of to be weak

second chances in volumes do they speak

second chances aren't given usually

but a second chance is all i really need

he looked back in your eyes and sang almost like he was silently begging during the verse. he stepped off of the stage and slowly started walking towards you.

i think i love you

i want to love you

please let me love you

i wish to show you how to love

he approached you and grabbed your hand with his free one. your heart was racing and you considered pulling away from him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to.

common sense tells me kiss the girl goodbye

common sense tells me leave it all behind

common sense says the girl's not worth my time

but common sense ain't common when you come to mind

no, common sense ain't common when you come to mind

the song ended and big red slipped past and grabbed the microphone from ricky, sending you a quick smile. you stood there, not looking away from ricky. he didn’t look away from you either.

“hey,” he said softly.

“hi.”

“i... i wrote you that song. i wanted to apologize for what i did i was— such an idiot.”

you didn’t respond and his face dropped a bit. “i quit the tv show.”

“you did?” you asked. he nodded.

“you were right. it wasn’t worth it, i don’t want that. i... i want you.”

your eyes widened and the corners of his mouth lifted up slightly. you swallowed hesitantly.

“ricky,” you said. “i want to believe you. you have no idea how much i want to believe you it’s just... how am i to know that this won’t happen again? that your career won’t come first?”

he looked at you, his expression soft. “(y/n), i haven’t stopped thinking about you since the second we met. and... i haven’t stopped kicking myself about how i acted at the beach. i’m telling you— right here—” he motions to the full gym of students watching you. “in front of everyone, that you’re all that matters to me. and i will do nothing but show you that if you just let me.”

you grinned and shook your head. “you are the cheesiest person i have ever met.”

ricky’s grin matched yours. “yeah well, is that all that bad?”

you laughed and before you said anything, he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you to him, then he pressed your lips together. you smiled into the kiss and wrapped your arms around his neck. the people in the gym cheered (which— if you were being honest— made you uncomfortable, but you didn’t care. all that mattered in that moment was ricky. he was all you could focus on).

when you pulled apart the music started again and everyones attention went away from you and ricky as they started to dance. ricky rested his forehead against yours similarly to how he did the day at the beach. you grinned at each other before he pulled away and held his hand out to you.

“may i have this dance, m’lady?” he asked in a fake, proper voice. you giggled and slipped your hand into his.

“oh of course, good sir,” you wrapped your arms around his neck and he placed his hands on your waist and you swayed to the music.

“so, after this, wanna go find a diner? eat somewhere and talk?”

you nodded. “first date at a trashy diner? sign me up.”

he laughed. “wouldn’t you consider this our second date? that day at the pier was pretty fun.”

“sure it was, until you ruined it,” you teased and he laughed, looking up.

“oh, i will never forgive myself for that day.”

“good thing i will forgive you.”

you left the dance with ashlyn and big red and the four of you headed to a random 24 hour diner down the street from your school. but, you sat at seperate tables, which gave you and ricky a chance to catch up, for real this time.

“so,” you said as you stole a fry from ricky’s plate. “how’d you plan this whole thing out?”

“ashlyn and big red helped me. i knew i had to come make things right and i wanted to surprise you at the dance, but it was ashlyn’s idea for me to write the song.”

“beautiful song,” you commented and he laughed affectionately.

“thank you. wrote it about this girl i really like,” he said seriously, his eyes searching your face for a reaction. you grinned.

“oh yeah?” you asked and he nodded. “well that’s convenient, because a guy i really like sang it for me.”

you grinned at each other for a few moments before you spoke up again. “so how long are you in town for?”

“few weeks. that is, if you want me here.”

“of course i want you here,” you laughed.

“i guess it’s a matter of what happens when i leave, huh,” ricky said, looking down at his plate. you frowned.

“yeah. can i trust that you won’t find another girl to cheat on me with back in california?” he looked up at you, an amused look on his face.

“cheat on you? wouldn’t we have to be officially dating for me to cheat on you?” you rolled your eyes and rested your head on your hand.

“are you really going to make me ask you?”

ricky chucked and wiped his hands off on a napkin, before grabbing your hand across the table. “(y/n) (y/l/n).”

“yees?” you asked innocently.

“will you do me the honor of being my girlfriend?”

you laughed. “i thought you’d never ask.”

he leaned across the table and kissed you quickly. when you pulled back, you rubbed your thumb on his cheek.

“hm. since you’re in town and we’re officially dating, guess it’s time for you to meet my family, huh?”

FINAL NOTES: this is the end of this series??!??!! already?!??!!?! thank you SO MUCH for reading and i can assure you that this is NOT the end of this story. look out for a second series following this one very very soon!!!!!! i love u all thank you for all the support

#ricky bowen starstruck au #high school musical the musical the series #hsmtmts #olivia rodrigo #ashlyn caswell #bowen #joshua bassett #ricky #ricky bowen x reader #drivers license #hsm the series #ricky bowen headcanons

[shelovescontrol91]

Between a starring role in Cinderella, live performances, and a forthcoming album, it would appear things are business as usual for Camila Cabello. But there’s a difference: Before the pandemic her work was leaving her drained, anxious, and insecure. Now she’s found a way to be a pop star on her own terms, and everything—from the music to her relationship with her body—has fallen into place.

By mid-September, Camila Cabello was feeling burnt out. In the span of three days she had performed at the MTV Video Music Awards, attended the Met gala with boyfriend Shawn Mendes, and shot the first-ever global cover for Glamour. So when she finally returned home to Miami, rest wasn’t just desired—it was essential.

But rehearsals for New York’s Global Citizen Festival loomed. Before jumping back into pop star mode, Cabello put on a yellow bikini and headed to the beach for two hours of blissfully uninterrupted downtime. She sank into a chair and cracked open a book, her favorite pastime. The salty air enveloped her; waves crashed in the distance. This is why she lives in Miami, her hometown, as opposed to a showbiz hub like Los Angeles: more privacy.

Or so she thought. Somehow the paparazzi found out where she was for those 120 minutes. She didn’t see them at first, but there they were, snapping away.

“I didn’t consent to those pictures,” she tells me over Zoom, camera off as she drives in Miami. (At one point she says to someone on the road, “Why are you honking at me, bro?”) “I got my period on the beach. I’m in a bikini and on my period, so I don’t know if I have a fucking period stain and that’s going to be everywhere. I didn’t sign up for anybody to be taking pictures of me in a bikini.”

Cabello has developed methods for dealing with invasive situations like this. She’s had to. The 24-year-old—born in Cuba, raised in Miami—has been in the public eye since 2012, when she competed on The X-Factor. She auditioned as a solo artist but was later matched with four other girls to form the pop group Fifth Harmony. They released two albums before Cabello embarked on her own—and achieved mind-boggling fame. Her singles “Havana” and “Señorita” (with Mendes) topped the charts worldwide. She’s earned three Grammy nominations, become a face of L’Oréal, and tried her hand at not just acting but starring in a feature film: this year’s Cinderella remake on Amazon Prime. Her third studio album, Familia, is due out later this year.

By all accounts it’s a lot. Careerwise it’s the closest things have felt to prepandemic times, when she was working constantly, arguably to an exhausting degree. As COVID-19 shutdowns went into effect last March, Cabello was able to realize just how tired she was.

“I by no means am trying to complain,” she says, “but it was such a thing of, ‘I have to get onstage tomorrow and I’m performing at this big thing,’ or whatever. ‘I want to do a good job. How do I do that when I feel nervous?’ I did this without being like, ‘Am I even happy right now? Do I even feel healthy?’ I didn’t have the space to ask myself those questions. I’m still working a ton now, but after quarantine I’m able to be like, ‘You know what? Right now I’m just not happy. I need to change something.’”

Therapy helped her see the changes she needed to make. Cabello tells me she’d experimented with therapy before the pandemic, but it was always situation focused—quick fixes to help her tackle the next performance or songwriting session. But with time at home, she dug deeper: “Because I wasn’t stressed about all the things I needed to do the next day, I was able to slow down and have enough stability to look at my stuff.”

Cabello doesn’t expand on what that “stuff” is. She does, however, explain why she decided to switch therapists as her internal work continued. “I wasn’t feeling like I was progressing in the areas I wanted to progress,” she says. “But when I switched, I found I was able to apply what they said in a way that benefited my mental health.”

One lesson she’s learned is the power of saying no. Two hit albums under her belt give Cabello the freedom to do things her way. Now she always has one day off a week, minimum. And when time came to start work on Familia, she forwent the standard pop music factory for a more intimate approach. The new album was made with just a handful of collaborators she could be open with. If Cabello was feeling anxious or nervous in a session, she had the space to address it. As a result, she says, it’s her best work yet.

“It’s the most grounded and calm I’ve ever been making an album,” she says. “I worked with people I wanted to have dinner with, and I was like, ‘I’m not going to write every single day for months, but write a few days a week and have time to gather experiences and be a human being.’”

Shawn Mendes is one of the people she’s gathering experiences with. The two singers confirmed their relationship in September 2019, and they’ve been tabloid magnets ever since. Everything from their laughably slow pandemic walks to their kissing style is dissected with a fine-tooth comb. A clip of them getting ready for the Met gala went instantly viral.

Cabello tells me she and Mendes try to avoid the social media chatter about their relationship, but it inevitably seeps in. “When stuff that’s negative is out there, it’s going to get to you,” she says. “So yeah, that’s very, very challenging. I feel like it’s another thing therapy has been really helpful for.”

Mendes goes to therapy too. While Cabello says she and Mendes haven’t done couples therapy—though she’d be open to it—they very much work on their mental health together.

“For better, for worse, we’re very transparent with each other. I think that’s why we can trust each other so much, because it’s a very 3D human relationship,” she says. “I’ll be venting or ranting about something, and he’ll be like, ‘Have you talked to X about it?’ And I’ll be like, ‘No. I’ve got to do a session.’ And he’ll do the same thing to me. I think even just the language of being like, ‘Hey, I’m sorry that I’ve been distant with you or snappy with you. I’m just struggling and I’m feeling kind of anxious.’ That level of transparency really helps a lot.”

Mendes echoes Cabello’s thoughts. “Camila and I give each other an extreme amount of patience and understanding,” he tells me via email. “I think the truth is that when you’re struggling with mental health, it turns you sometimes into the version of yourself that you don’t like to be—and kind of loving and accepting your person through that, and being there for them through that, is life-changing. We give each other so much space and understanding and patience.”

A behind-the-scenes VMAs story perfectly illustrates this. When Cabello was nervous meeting new people at an after-party, she caught herself leaning on a habit she’s trying to break. Mendes helped her through it.

“I have this pattern of eating a lot when I’m anxious or uncomfortable,” she says. “It’s a comfort thing for me. I’ll just kind of become unconscious and zombie-eat a lot, and then I’ll feel sick. I’ve told Shawn about that. So at the VMAs party, I was like, ‘I’m doing it.’ And he was like, ‘It’s okay. You’re doing it. That’s okay. Let’s just take a breath and not do that.’ It’s really good for me to be able to talk about my patterns with someone.”

Food and body image are two things that have really been on Cabello’s mind this year. A July TikTok she posted shutting down body-shamers racked up 4.8 million likes. “Being at war with your body is so last season,” she says in the video, which she posted after photos of her running in Los Angeles made the rounds online.

That mantra is true, sure, but it’s easier said than done. Even Cabello has difficulty following it. She braced herself for what she might feel when those aforementioned bikini pics went live: “I need to work out. I need to eat better.” “Not that those things are bad,” she says. “But maybe I wouldn’t think about them as much if there weren’t people taking pictures of me.”

It’s not just the paparazzi who ignite moments of self-doubt. Cabello tells me about a time she was exercising with her trainer, Jenna Willis—who’s great, she says—and feeling insecure. “She’s the same height as me, and I was kind of comparing myself to her, because she is a lot skinnier than I am,” she recalls. “I was just like, ‘Yeah, but I’ve been working out and I look better, right? I look better, right?’”

It’s Willis who helped silence those voices in Cabello’s head, reminding her that how she feels is more important than appearances; that life is about balance and enjoying food. These are health philosophies we’ve all heard—but when you’re Camila Cabello and millions are picking apart your beach photos, it’s hard to tune out the noise. Now when she’s feeling down on herself, she just turns her phone off and goes outside.

“When I’m having negative thoughts about my body, that’s actually when I’ll want to binge-eat cookies, and then I have a stomachache,” she says. “It’s this weird psychology: The more I love my body, the more I actually want to take care of it…. As long as I’m healthy and working out and feel good, that’s the best I can do. There’s no point in trying to have another kind of body.”

By this point in our conversation, Cabello’s made it to her destination. When I ask if she’ll have time to chill and decompress, she says, “To be honest, not yet, but I will after this weekend.” There’s a calmness in her voice when she says this—a stillness, a readiness. She seems perfectly prepared for what lies ahead: album promo, performances, and undoubtedly more scrutiny about her body, her relationship, her everything. But she’ll be fine, because just around the corner is a day off. That’s nonnegotiable.

“It’s important to be on top of not just what’s making you sad or anxious, but also what’s giving you joy,” she says. “I want to be happy and enjoy my life. That’s kind of it.”

#camila cabello #shawn mendes #shawmila

[anna-justice]

Lost or Found - 24

Summary: As Jay, Hailey, Kim, Adam and Kevin start their junior year in the wake of a tragic summer, the past year of their lives comes back to haunt them. If you enjoyed Pretty Little Liars, this is for you! *UPSTEAD/BURZEK High School AU

...

24 - Evermore  ...

“Your dad should have killed you when he had the chance…”

Hailey whimpered, her eyes clenched shut and beads of sweat appearing on her forehead.

“So you want to play hero one more time?” 

She flinched in her sleep, her heart beating out of her chest, so fast that she thought it was going to explode. 

“That works for me.” 

Hailey shot up, screaming. The last thing she saw was the barrel of a gun. She clawed at her chest, trying to get a good breath. “Hailey?” Someone yelled, and then right after, her Aunt appeared in front of her. “Hailey, it’s okay.” Trudy reached out to grab her hand, but Hailey pulled it back, looking at her with scared eyes. 

It had been a month since she had heard those words muttered aloud, but they plagued her dreams frequently. 

The two weeks following that day, all five of them took turns rotating through the police station. Everyday there were new questions, more people to explain things to, more statements to clarify, it was never ending. Then, it just stopped. There was nothing else they could do, they had to wait for trial. And in the meantime, Erin was placed in a psychiatric hold facility, and her lawyers were defending her actions as a symptom as psychosis.

It bothered them all, that technically she was free, all because they could blame her attempted murder on a psychotic break. Especially when Kelly Severide was looking at time. A few days after, two detectives showed up at Hailey’s house, wanting a full recount of the last five months, and that included the night that she was attacked. When Severide was questioned, he had no alibi and he confessed to strangling Hailey. His excuse was that he was threatened the same way that the rest of them were, only in person. He claimed that he knew Erin was alive the whole time, but she threatened to kill his mom and sister if he didn’t cooperate. 

Unfortunately, the only way to corroborate the story for a jury is to prove Erin mentally competent, meaning she was capable of carrying out her threats. To all involved, even Kelly, it was clear that she knew what she was doing, she was a mastermind, but to everyone on the outside, they were just a bunch of teenagers wrapped up in a murder. 

The girl that everyone thought was Erin still hadn’t been identified, they had to dig up the casket for the second time. The only way they were able to ID it the first time was by the previous fracture and bracelet, but there are a lot of people in the Chicago area that have broken their left wrist. 

So, with no new information and the date for the trial to begin still months away, they all lived life normally. Well, as normal as it could be after everything they went through. And normal for Hailey meant waking up every night screaming. 

Trudy looked at her husband, who was standing in the doorway. They shared a look, a very familiar one. They repeated the same steps every night, like some cruel rehearsed dance. Trudy waited patiently for Hailey to calm down, just seated on the floor next to her. “Hailey, sweetie, you’re safe.” She repeated. 

Every night it was the same, Hailey would snap out of whatever daze she was in and apologize profusely. “I’m sorry, I got scared…” She started.

“Shhh,” Trudy said, placing a hand on her leg, “It’s okay.” 

Hailey nodded, swallowing hard. “I’m good, you all can go back to sleep.” She said, glancing at her uncle. 

Trudy just nodded, she learned many nights ago not to fight her on it, “Alright. Goodnight Hailey, we love you.” She said, squeezing her shoulder. 

“Love you too.” Hailey said, watching them retreat back to their room. They left the door open like they always did, Hailey sighed rolling over and grabbing her phone. She sent a quick text to her boyfriend. 

Hailey:      :(

It was a system that they started a few weeks ago. The first few nights Jay would stay up with her on the phone, or she would call him after Trudy and Randy finally left, but the lack of sleep began to play a part in their relationship. So, they decided that every time Hailey had a nightmare (or Jay, he wasn’t clean of them) they would text the other a frowny face, so that in the morning they would know what the other had gone through the night before without having to talk about it. It has proved to be useful.

Hailey laid down again, willing herself to close her eyes, but she couldn’t. Sleep was too vulnerable, so she laid there awake, just waiting for the sun to rise on (hopefully) a better day. 

…

“What do you mean you haven’t picked out a costume?” Kim asked, as Jay slammed his door shut. Like every morning, they were all crowded around his truck, waiting until the last minute to head to class. The gossip still hadn’t died down, they were still the topic of every conversation, so they avoided it as much as they could. 

Hailey shrugged. “I thought we weren’t dressing up.” She said, looking up at her boyfriend, who nodded in agreement. Halloween was tomorrow, and of course Kim had plans for all of them.

“No, I said we weren’t dressing up as the characters from scooby doo…” Kim said, giving Adam a pointed look. 

Adam held up his hands in surrender, “Like I said, I’m sorry, it’s too soon.” He said, stifling a laugh. 

Kevin rolled his eyes, “Yeah, you all know I’d have to be scooby. And I’m not dressing up like a dog.” He snapped. 

“But Kev,” Adam said, faking a frown. “I thought you were my dawg.” Kevin glared at him, faking a punch as Adam jumped back. 

“Anyway,” Kim started, looking back at Hailey and Jay, and ignoring the antics behind her. “I promised Stella we would all be at her party tomorrow night, you guys will be the only people without a costume.” 

Hailey sighed, “Kim, we will get costumes, I promise.” Kim opened her mouth, but the warning bell cut her off. Hailey smiled, grabbing Jay’s hand. “We’ll see you guys later.” She said, before pulling him away. 

“Please tell me you have costume ideas,” Jay said quietly. 

“Nope.” They rounded the corner, Jay leaning down and stealing a kiss before they entered their classroom. Criminal justice was a little harder to sit through than it was before, but somehow Jay had managed to get his grade up. 

They took their normal seats in the back of the class, waiting for the teacher to begin. “I have an idea,” Jay said, leaning on his hand. 

“Okay?” Hailey said cautiously. 

“I’ll be a firefighter, and you be a Dalmatian.” He said, wiggling his eyebrows. 

Hailey scoffed, “No.” 

“Okay. You be the firefighter and I’ll be the Dalmatian.” He said, smirking.

Hailey shook her head, “Try again.” Jay fake pouted, retreating back to his half of the shared desk. 

Finally, their teacher decided to start class, cutting their conversation off for the time being. After about 30 minutes of notes, he passed out an assignment, leaving them to work on their own. Jay turned to face her, smiling. “I’ve got another idea.” He said, Hailey gave him a pointed look. “Squints and the lifeguard from the sandlot.” 

“Why? So every time someone asks us who we are you get to lay on the ground and make me kiss you?” She questioned. 

“Exactly.” He deadpanned. 

“Jay-”

“Okay, okay.” He said, laughing. He loved it when she got all riled up. “Peter Pan and Tinkerbell, cause you’re so short-”

“Jay!” She said, smacking his bicep. 

He laughed harder, “Okay, in all seriousness...we can be Jack and Rose from the titanic…” He watched Hailey’s face slowly morph into slight agreeance, “And Kev could be the iceberg.” 

“I’m done with you.” Hailey said shortly, stifling her own laugh. 

Jay laughed at his own joke, watching his girlfriend pretend to be aggravated with him. “You love me, you know it.” 

“Unfortunately…” Hailey said under her breath. She took a deep breath, “What about Danny and Sandy from Grease?” 

Jay smirked, “You in leather pants? Perfect.” 

“You’re hopeless.” 

…

The next day, Hailey sat in Kim’s bedroom getting ready. They had about an hour before the boys were supposed to come pick them up. Kim and Adam were going as Romeo and Juliet, while Hailey and Jay had finally settled on Rapunzel and Flynn Rider. Kevin had grouped up with some of the boys from his team, they were going as zombie football players, very original…

“Kim, you’re going to have to do this.” Hailey said, laughing in defeat. 

Kim smiled, taking over for her. She was waiting for her to ask for help, she’d been struggling to french braid her hair for almost twenty minutes. “I got it.” They sat there for a while in silence, Kim carefully laying pieces of blonde hair over the others, she glanced at Hailey in the mirror, noticing the blank look on her face. “How are you doing?”

Hailey’s head snapped up to meet her eyes, she caught her off guard. “Uh,” She shrugged, “I’m okay, I guess…” 

Kim scoffed, shaking her head. “I’ve said that word so many times recently that I’m not even sure it’s a word anymore.” 

“Yeah…” Hailey said, letting her thoughts wander. “I get that.” And she did, it was like she used the word as a shield. It was her response to everything, and she wasn’t okay, not that it was really a secret. None of them were okay, but saying it made it feel like they were. And deception was something worth clinging onto. 

“You know, we never talked about-” 

“We don’t need to.” Hailey said, cutting her off. 

Kim eyed her cautiously, “Okay.” She wanted to talk, but she didn’t feel like she had any right to push Hailey to. Not after what happened. “Done.” She said, a few minutes later, taking a step back to admire her work.

“Thanks,” Hailey said with a genuine smile, picking up the jar of flower clips they had bought that morning. “You think I should just put these everywhere?” 

Kim nodded, “Yeah, I think so.” She reached down, clicking shuffle on a playlist, a random Taylor Swift song playing. They were both done talking. 

An hour later, the two of them were sitting in Kim’s kitchen talking to her mom when Jay and Adam arrived. Adam just let himself in the front door, Jay choked on a laugh as he waltzed in like he owned the place. 

The boys appeared in the kitchen, “Honey, I’m home.” He said, passing Kim and hugging her mom. Kim rolled her eyes as they all laughed, Jay’s hand finding Hailey’s back like it always did. He was so happy, even though life was still crazy, he was ridiculously happy. Watching Hailey smile and Adam joke around like he used to (before they used it as a distraction) was so nice, and familiar and just so damn good. 

Hailey peered up at him, grinning as he pecked her lips. “Alright, let’s get a picture so you all can get out of here.” Claire said, ushering them together. Jay stood next to Adam, both of them holding their girlfriends securely against their waists. They all smiled brightly, relaxing after the click. 

They quickly bid their goodbyes, making their way out to Jay’s truck. Hailey slid easily into the passenger seat, despite her nude heels (that she was already regretting), while Adam and Kim got in the back. They pulled out of the driveway, and somehow Adam ended up with aux cord. Somewhere in between an old Maroon 5 song and the Weekend, Jay’s hand found hers on the center console. 

Hailey looked down at it and smiled. It was a simple thing that they did every single time they rode together, but it really symbolized how much things had changed. Hailey thought back to the day that he kept his eyes trained on the road, back when she cut him off when he tried to apologize. It was only two months ago, but they were different, everything was different, everything was better. 

 Jay followed her gaze to their conjoined hands, mimicking her smile. She didn’t have to say anything, he knew exactly what she was thinking. Part of him wishes he could go back and stay with her then, he felt like they had wasted so much time, but the other part of him knew that they were better for it. Neither of them were ready for what they have now, then. And what they have was worth the wait. 

Finally they reached their destination, Jay having the park pretty far away due to how many people were already there. They got out, Jay rounding the truck to help Hailey down, even though she hadn’t needed it in a long time. The four of them headed towards the decent sized house, they could hear the music thumping from outside. Hailey slipped her hand in Jay’s, gripping his forearm. 

Jay noticed the look of discomfort on her face, leaning down. “Hey, you okay?” He asked, eying her. 

Hailey nodded, holding on a little tighter. “Yeah, just don’t want to get lost in the crowd.” Jay nodded, believing her lie. She couldn’t really explain it, but she had a terrible feeling in her stomach and the thought of being lost in a sea of people made her want to throw up. Even though it was over, Hailey still found herself looking over her shoulder and watching out for her. And even though all of that meant she was nowhere near being in a party mood, she wasn’t going to bring everyone else down, they all needed a fun night. 

They made their way through the crowded makeshift dance floor, and found Kevin in a living area near the back of the house where he was sitting with Stella, Conner, Matt and Sylvie. “Hey guys,” He called, jumping up and clapping Adam’s back. 

Stella stood, hugging Kim tightly, “I’m glad you guys could make it.” 

Kim squeezed her, “Me too.”

Stella backed away, touching Hailey’s arm affectionately and giving her a kind smile that she returned. “I know it’s kind of crazy,” Stella laughed, “If you need something or just a break, the keys to the upstairs doors are hidden right under the doors, just inside the rooms.” She glanced at the obvious couples, winking. “I trust you guys.” 

They all nodded, Kim blushing, a chorus of “great” and “thanks” sounding. The group dispersed, the five of them huddling up. “Obviously Hailey and I are gonna stick together, if we get lost, meet back here at midnight and we’ll head out?” Jay suggested.

“Sounds good,” Kev said, nodding.

Adam agreed too. “That works for me.” 

That works for me…

Hailey flinched at those words, instinctively squeezing her eyes shut. Her breath caught in her throat. The image of a pulled gun flashing through her brain. She grimaced, trying to push the thoughts away. “Hailes…” She took another deep breath, doing everything in her power to keep her fear at bay. “Hailes.” Someone said, harsher, snapping her out of her daze. 

“Yeah?” She asked quickly. 

Kim eyed her cautiously, “I asked if you wanted a water…”

“Oh,” Hailey shook her head, “No, I’m good, thanks though.” She watched as Kim and Adam slowly disappeared into the crowd, her eyebrowed cinched together. 

Jay stepped in front of her, blocking her view of the rest of the room, “Are you sure you’re okay?” He asked, concern clear in his bright green eyes. 

Hailey nodded vigorously, “I’m good, I promise.” She said, his face didn’t change. He didn’t believe her. Hailey reached up, pulling him to her level and attaching their lips. She wrapped her arms around his neck as she deepened it, pulling him even closer. Jay did his best not to get lost in the kiss, but with her it was so hard. She pulled away slowly, peering up at him. “Jay, I’m okay.” Kim was right, it didn’t sound like a word anymore. 

Jay sighed, admitting defeat. “Okay.” He laced their hands together, leaning down and kissing her slowly before guiding her to the dance floor. They stood near the edge, Jay’s hand sitting on her hips as they swayed in sync to the fast music. They danced for a while before some of Jay’s teammates interrupted them. 

Hailey stood securely at his side as they spoke, absently listening to the trashy rap music that was playing loudly throughout the room. “Fuck, shit, bitch…” The sound of a gun being cocked rang through the speakers and Hailey screamed. Suddenly the eyes of everyone around her staring at her. She was frozen in place, forcing the terrible memories away, but she couldn’t. 

“Hailey.” Jay said, but her feet had a mind of their own and she was running towards the staircase, her lungs burning, she couldn’t get in a good breath. “Hailey!” Jay called after her, not even bothering to say goodbye to his team before taking off. 

Hailey booked it up the stairs, dropping to the ground in front of the first door she saw, grasping aimlessly for the key. She slumped against the door, tears streaming down her face as she fought to breathe. Jay booked it towards her, crouching down and finding the key easily. He unlocked the door, then swept his hysterical girlfriend off the floor, carrying her into the room and setting her on the bed. She was still heaving in front of him, and Jay placed two hands on either side of her face. “Hailey, Hailey look at me.” He said, but her eyes stayed trained on his chest. “Baby, you’re safe, look at me, please.” She clenched her eyes shut, more tears falling down her face. When she opened them again, they met his and she launched herself into his arms. 

Jay held her to him, rocking them gently as she cried into his neck. “I-I thought-” She stuttered, sobs wracking her body. 

“I know, I know.” He said, trying to calm her. 

“I thought it was over…” She said, and Jay felt his heart clench in his chest. 

He ran his hand through her braided hair, no doubt destroying it. “It is, it’s all over, you’re safe. We’re safe.” For some reason that made her cry harder, maybe because she hadn’t for the past month, she had been bottling up her feelings to protect herself and everyone else. Because even though she was, she hadn’t felt safe in a long time. 

Hailey pulled away after a long time, utterly exhausted. Jay couldn’t take the look of defeat on her safe, she looked so tired, so broken, that it scared him. How could he not have known how much pain she was in? 

She couldn’t bear to look at him, so she kept her gaze fixed on her lap. He placed his hand on her thigh, and Hailey laid one on top of it. She sniffled, using her free hand to wipe the never ending tears from her eyes. “I’m okay.”

…

The following Monday, Hailey sat in the passenger seat of Jay’s truck. After the events of Saturday night, Jay had no choice but to loop in Trudy and Randall, he had to after he had failed to do so before. They spent the rest of the weekend convincing Hailey to see someone, to talk about everything they had been through. 

It was probably the trauma left over from her parents, but the stigma that therapy made you weak was ingrained in Hailey’s mind, and convincing her to make an appointment was no easy task. 

That’s how they ended up sitting in the parking lot of a private practice right after school, Hailey’s leg bouncing nervously up and down. Jay lifted their intertwined hands off the center console, kissing the back of hers. “I’m going to be here waiting, all I ask is that you go in there and try.” He said, rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand. 

Hailey smiled softly, nodding. She leaned across the console and kissed him slowly, hoping that she was able to portray just how much love she had for him and trust she had in him through it. Jay pulled away, taking her in. “I love you, Hailey Upton.” 

“I love you, Jay Halstead.” She said. 

“Now, go kick some ass.” He said and she laughed, opening the truck door. She shut it, giving him one last look before walking inside the doors. 

She sat down in one of the waiting room chairs after signing in, a few minutes later an older man with big glasses popped his head out of the back. “Hailey?” 

She stood, “Yes sir.”

The man smiled, “Come with me.” He led her back to an office, gesturing for her to sit on the couch while he sat in the chair across from her. “I’m Dr. Charles, but you can call me Daniel or Dan, or really whatever makes you comfortable.” He explained. 

Hailey nodded, shifting nervously. “So, how does this work?” She asked.

“However you want it to, we can talk or not talk about anything you want.” He said, leaning back in his chair. 

“Okay,” Hailey glanced at the ground, “The-There’s a lot…” 

“That’s okay.” 

Hailey grimaced, finally looking at him. “Where do I start?” She asked.

Dr. Charles smiled. “How about the beginning?”

Hailey sighed, taking a few deep breaths, ready to start confronting all the demons that she had been fighting for so long. 

“Tell me everything.”

...

A/N: This is long but please, please, please read it!!

First, this is the end of this story, but it is not THE end! There will be a sequel and if you want to see a sneak peak, you can find it HERE. I am so so excited to continue exploring this version of these characters, and don’t worry, the next installment will be just as exciting as this one! 

Second, thank you so so so so much to everyone who has shown love to and supported this story. It really means the world to me, you have no idea. This has been such an amazing experience and I have learned so much from writing this, so thank you so much for reading. You guys are truly incredible, and writing has helped me through a tough time in my life. I’m going to say thank you a million time, but thank you, thank you, thank you <3

This story evolved so much lol: in the beginning I had no plan, and then it changed like five times, and we ended up here, so here’s a few things that didn’t make it in.

Nadia was supposed to die in chapter 19, but I decided against it…

I debated Kevin and Stella getting together, don’t hate me for this ahaha

I almost made Kim lose her hearing, but I wasn’t sure I could do the storyline justice with everything else going on

I debated killing Adam (I’M SORRY, i’m sorry…)

And finally (cause you don’t need to know all of my secrets) I ALMOST broke up Upstead at the end

Anyway, there’s some behind the scenes action if you’re interested. 

Back to the point: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SUPPORTING ME AND THIS STORY, I LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, and i cannot wait to embark on this next journey together!!

So much love,

Anna

@lissethsrojas @puckluck28 @fuckyeahkillianemma @chilly7188 @thebigapocalypsewolf @karihighman @ruzek-halstead @anotheronechicagobog @snowwhite013 @tracysupton @angelsjedi @carissalizz​

#jay halstead #hailey upton #upstead #upstead au #kim burgess #adam ruzek #burzek au #burzek #kevin atwater #erin lindsay #stella kidd #trudy platt #chicago pd #kelly severide #one chicago #chicago pd au

[mirkysconcubinefiction]

I Thought You Should Know 2

Part 2.

Part 1 HERE.

Notes in part 1.

Before:

This time when Superman caught you he held you close and wrapped his arms around you before flying away with you clinging to him and crying because you couldn't hold it in anymore.

Awareness came with a background of arguing and a sinfully - sinfully - soft mattress. Tugging the blankets up and over your head you snuggle into your pillow and doze.

    You've grown up with yelling and lived in places that were noise 24/7 and presumed the arguing was the neighbors. A quiet falls over your cocoon and it hits you... your hotel room had a  mattress that was as stiff as plywood. 

    The bed dips and you tug the sheet down from your face and take in the warm tangerine color walls, dark wood molding and the bedside table was a rustic style piece of furniture. Turning over you're startled to find Clark Kent standing with a tray of food but more surprising was the man sitting on the bed in a sharp charcoal suit. 

    Curious, you lift the blanket and peer down at yourself.  You were wearing your underwear... you guess it was bettered than being naked. "Rest assured Miss ****, your virtue is safe."

    "Lex!" Snapped Clark with a glare before he turned to you and floundered for what to say before pushing the tray out, "Coffee?"

    "What happened?" Your brain felt muffled and you can remember bits and pieces and jumping off a ledge... "Shit, did I try to kill myself again?" You sit up and the blankets pool at you waist uncaring of your bra that was all lace and completely inappropriate for your type of job. 

    "Again?" The tray is set down on a bedside table and Clark was crawling to you, grabbing your arms, checking your bare wrists, as if he hadn't seen them before you were tucked in half-naked. "**** we talked about this."

    "Settle down." Lex heaved himself up with a sigh and peered down at the two of you, "Clark brought you here, you were hysterical and I gave you a sedative and while you were high out of your mind you chose my,"

    "Our." Clark snapped but the other man continued on without missing a beat.

    "Bed to make your nest. You had this loon," a finger pointed at Clark who look aghast, "Rip off your corset because, and I quote, I can't catch it rip it off. As you spun in a circle trying to reach for the laces."

    "I kind of panicked and ripped it off. Sorry." 

    "He's not sorry, he burned the thing in the fireplace."

    "Secrets Lex! Married couples know how to keep secrets!" Clark glared and you watched them bicker back and forth, lost. 

    "Can we not? As hot as it is, I'm too nauseous to join in on your makeup sex." That cut through the weird foreplay the duo had.

    "Get out." Lex tries but you ignore him as usual.

    "Here have some coffee!" Reaching for the tray Clark held onto it without strain. 

    It was a giant mug of black coffee, a small plate with an oversized croissant, little jars of jelly that was a mismatched set from various fancy hotels you knew Clark had a habit of stealing from, a bowl of yogurt topped with fruit and granola, a whole tomato, a cow shaped creamer, and a pig shaped cup with sausage sticking up. 

    "Remind me to never request breakfast in bed. You forgot silverware and cutting the dam tomato." Lex clapped his hands, "I'm off. Don't overstay your welcome and you're barred from all future events." And then he was gone. 

    "He does have a nice ass." You mumble into your coffee that was sweet and perfect. 

    "It makes up for his bad bedside manner." Then Clark is gone... and back with a spoon and knife, a knife he uses to cut your tomato. "There's a bedroom here for you." It's spoken softly and your eyes flick up to meet his then away, the croissant butter soft. "****?"

    "Hmm?"

    "I'm sorry."

    Now you remember, quite convenient when there's a knife in arms reach, "You're not." Strawberry jelly smears heavily. It's flavorful and you chewed slowly, savoring the rich taste. A sip of coffee and a your slurp breaks the silence. 

    "I am. I shouldn't have said that."

    "You thought it and you spoke it. Simple logic."

    "No."

    "You're a whore." You pick up a tomato slice, "You fucked all the girls you cheered with and you bottomed for half your fraternity." It tasted juicy, "Lois Lane wasn't your only fuck buddy at the paper and Green Lantern misses your dick something fierce." From your peripheral it was interesting how embarrassed his face colored.

    "How..."

    "Now Lex," you interrupt. "Lex is a slut but he's a slut with standards like myself. Dick pics help weed out the useless ya know." Sip, "Men - woman - don't care." Sip, "It helps when you get really lonely and you can leave. No strings, no questions." Sip, "If you speak to me that way again," your gaze meets his, "I won't need kryptonite to kill you." 

    "****..."

    "Refill please." You hand over your mug that's half filled and Clark takes it. Quietly he moves off the bed and walks out. 

    The tray is settled at your side and you manage to shuffle over to the edge and stand by the time he comes back. Meeting him part way you ignore the way his eyes rake over you, "I'm..."

    You were tired of apologies and hugged him. He was tall and you settled for wrapping your arms around his waist and hugging him tight, "Leave it."

    It's never brought up again.

    .

    The formal gala was beautiful. Lights, cameras, ice sculptures, bottles of champagne flowed as did the money for the secret auction, so secret no one was aware there was an auction.

    At least that's what the news had said.

    Lounging on a couch with a tub of ice cream your face is covered in an organic green tea mask, your body has been massaged by a last-minute goddess with hands that deserved to be preserved in the Vatican vault, and your feet was resting on Clark's lap where the man was massaging your left foot with a hand as the other hand tossed Gummi bears.

    You were horrible at catching them with your mouth but the colorful bears decorated the carpet and sofa with a certain pizazz. Elevator doors opened and expensive loafers dragged, "Why are you still here?"

    Spoon dangling from your mouth you pull it out and point it at the tired man who was being rerun on the massive television. "Did you have fun at your party?"

    "That party brought millions to Saint Jude charity foundation."

    "Uhu... and how much really..."

    Lex dismissed you to turn to his husband, "Why is she still here."

    "I'm not putting her out, you can do that." It was said matter of factly with a hint of try it, go on, I dare you.

    Oh this was good, not as good as the ice cream but good.

    "****." You blink up at the tall bald-headed man, "Leave."

    "But the make-up sex."

    You think his eye is twitching, "There is no sex!"

    A pout twitches your lips and your spoon stabs at the ice cream, "But Dom Daddy Master sex is the best sex." Beside you Clark chokes on a gummy and Lex is a thundercloud as he steps closer and closer to you until he's close enough you can smell his cologne. "See," and you glance over at the coughing man who was thumping his chest, "That's hot. You're hot, we should...."

    "Shut up!" And you shut up, sitting back. "Your jokes are not appreciated. Pack your shit and run back to your Captain America. The epitome of all that's righteous and leave..." you snort and quickly cover your nose as ice cream somehow went up there. "Me and mine alone!"

    A napkin is passed to you, "Ignore him. He saw what's in the box and is not too happy right now."

    "Couldn't you have left it behind?" Wiping your nose you take in all that was Lex Luthor and processed what he said, "Why would I run back to that asshole?" Of course Lex had bared his teeth in a very animalistic way and stormed off so you turn to the quiet second half and said, "What was in the box?"

    "A dress." His face loses trace of all humor, "The accessories are a problem, my nose is quite good and you're not that type of person to..." Clark cuts off as Lex returns and all but flings the box at you and Clark catches it and settles it on your lap while taking away your ice cream. 

    You ignore the argument that's caused by that stunt and take in the dented and dirty box that was lopsided and the tissue paper that hung half out. Clark was right, there was a dress balled up on top and you pull it out... it was a familiar dress.

    Black, shiny, skin-tight, one side would cover down the length of your thigh while the other was cut in a way to barely cover your vagina. 

    You knew this dress.

    This was a similar dress you had in your closet from ages ago. It had been the dress you met Steve Rogers in when you had worked another undercover mission as a singer in an underground club. The lights on stage would make the material nearly sheer and showed off your curves and the nipple piercings you had gotten done for the gig. 

    Well... "He knows." Or at least presumes who you are but how? Dropping the dress to the side you go through the rest of the stuff and pull out a pair of killer heels in your size, "Nope." And drop them both atop the dress. Next was a scrap of fabric that took a moment of turning it here and there to realize it was panties, "What the fuck is this?"

    Clark looks pink while Lex scowls but answers, "Thong."

    "This," you shake it like it's flag. "Wouldn't cover an ass cheek. I have a fat ass... the strings would cut across my hips and make me look like a ham hung to dry." That too was dropped and you rummaged around the jewelery, the hair extension that sat wrapped, and an empty clutch. "Stockings? It's cold, these fucker really think I would waltz around and freeze my clit off?"

    "The point was to entice me, your target, or that idiot." Confused, you glance up at the taller man. "Your choker. There's a mechanism that releases a pheromone when you get close enough to your victim. It's potent, it's an ingenious way to get me to leave and hand me over to SHIELD or attract that asshole who was there, dressed to impress and also wearing a wrist watch that had the same scent, my intel says he was hoping to use it on you if you had arrived. Fucker doesn't realize all phone calls are tapped, that was a mistake."

    Rummaging through the box you find rings, bracelets, a pair of studs for nipples - which what the fuck - but no choker. Glancing over at Clark you said, "You said your nose. How does it smell?

    "Musky. I only know about it because HYDRA is interested so they tried to use bait, young bait, to entrap my husband in a scandal. It didn't work, girl scouts don't make penthouse calls at 1am. Thankfully I was home and tossed the girl in the closet before dealing with him."

    "I could have raped that girl." 

    "Lex, no." And Clark was off the couch and crowding his husband who leaned into the embrace with a miserable face and you felt upset. Box plopped on the oddly shaped coffee table you make your way around the duo and bare foot you walk to the elevator door that opens with a soft ping and step on, finger jabbing on the button to the ground floor.

    It was a short trip of quiet, you ignore the dried and cracked gunk that was on your face and stepped out into a lobby with its shiny floor and gold accents. 

    There weren't many people about at this hour except a janitor that was windexing a window and a concierge who stood once he caught sight of you. "Ma'am!"

    "Phone?" You gesture to the old-fashioned looking thing that sits behind the desk. You knew it was a thing installed by Lex that was as private as you could get, and one that no nosey AI could hack into. An alternative option in case he was too lazy to take an elevator to the top floor.

    "I'm sorry but..."

    "Great, thanks, sit and be a good boy as mummy handles something." The man is a stuttering mess as you reach over and take it, plopping it on the high ledge. 

    "Ma'am you can't!"

    Fingers presses into small holes and drag clockwise with each number. "Phone the penthouse, I'm sure Mr. Luthor would be ecstatic over us meeting."

    The concierge, who had his hand on separate phone and was calling security faltered, "Lex Luthor?"

    You smile, green tea dust falling, but before you can utter a comment the line picks up without a greeting, "Brucie poo, remember that favor you owe me? Well I'm collecting." 

    The concierge moves away to stand with the Janitor who had been quick to call him over and tell him to keep his eyes down. Which was for the best since you were walking around in flannel that was oversized, courtesy of Clark. Switching to a different language and lowering your tone you spoke with an unamused Bruce Wayne, while not friendly with Lex, had been highly upset over the use of children as pawns.

    You weren't surprised. 

    The elevator dings and you wave at Clark who jogged to you and you were quick to say your goodbyes, "Why didn't you tell me?" Frowning at the taller man.

    "You're not here, why would we tell you?" And that, that hurt.

    The elevator doors closed and you knew you needed to do something, time was wasting.

    .

    Solid black, it matched the coal around your eyes and the contacts you had struggled to put on. Boots were comfortably strapped up to your knee and you waltzed across a manicured lawn. 

    The cameras were down.

    The dogs had been knocked out.

    Security had been scarce since a good portion had all come down with a mysterious stomach bug. You can't really protect your benefactor if you're shitting your intestines out. 

    Striding up the marble steps that led to a wrap around porch, you tried a door handle and found it locked. A laser took care of that, a nifty little thing you dropped on the ground and waltzed inside, smoke curling into the air from the burned brass and wood.

    Having had memorized the layout you strode to the kitchen, up a flight of stairs, down a hall, up another set of stairs, down another hall and to a bedroom door where you put yourself in a position that your com had instructed. Gun in hand you aim a degree left, swooped right, down center, each bullet piercing through the door and wall.

    Stopping only when your com had said so. 

    You open the door and lean against the door jamb, the bodies on the ground paving a way to a lone man pressed against the corner of a wall holding a gun.

    "Hello honey." He aims and pulls the trigger. The gun jams. "Poor baby," you stalk over. "Let mommy kiss it better."

    From a distance away Superman removes the com in his ear cutting off the scream of the HYDRA operative who had tried to set up his husband. 

    .

    Maybe if your com hadn't been knocked off and landed in a puddle of blood you would have found yourself here, in a chair, at the SHIELD headquarters. 

    Great, just great.

    The chair was uncomfortable so you chose a nice corner to lay down, cross your ankles, and try for a nap. 

    You had gotten as much as you expected from Mr. HYDRA guy which was meh. Not enough info compared to what you had but if you were honest, you weren't there for intel.

    It was just a great excuse to inflict as much pain as you could and death. 

    You hated getting your hands dirty but... yea... getting caught on the back lawn with SHIELD agents storming up to you with guns and K9 was a weird experience. 

    "****." Confirmation that Steve had a really good guess you were you. Ugh. The door closed behind him with a thump and the man strode over. "You can cut the act, I know who you are."

    You sign WHO.

    "I thought you were dead." You yawn, "I knew it was you when I heard you laugh." He pauses as if he expects you to talk. "Superman knows who you are, how do you know him?" Quiet. "Answer me." He sighs, voice changing to one of concern, one you had believed was his true self. "I miss you."

    A hand lifts and you sign QUEEN.

    "****!" 

    Middle finger, no two fingers, point in his direction.

    A hand grips your ankle and you're dragged from the wall, your other free foot hits the ground with a thump, you curl your toes - triggering a nifty backup - and out pops a short knife. Steve let's out a shout as you stabbed him in the leg, once, twice, and his arm that swings to stop you before the man let you go.

    Blood coated the ground and the super soldier stumbled back, "What the fuck ****!" The security that patted you down didn't take all your lovely toys. 

    Hopping to your feet you waved a finger at him and signed BAD BOY. The doors open and two men with guns enter, they try to get Steve to leave but he's a stubborn fuck, "Back off, I've had worse." 

    Just to fuck with him you sign, POISON.

    His eyes go wide and he stumbles out with the two guards and you're left alone once again.

    .

    The fuckery begins when the vents turn off, it takes a while for the air to get stifling and hot but you don't remove your uniform and lay on the ground sweating through your material and the pungent stench of blood has you breathing through your mouth. 

    Stubborn to death you try to ignore the nausea that roils your stomach, a migraine forms at the back of your skull, and your mouth was dry and throat parched.

    Time churns and it's hard to focus so you keep your eyes closed but it does little to help. Maybe this was it? A smile quirks your chapped lips, at least you got to stab Steve, hopefully your knife was dirty and he got an infection.

    When did you close your eyes?

    Breathing was like choking on sand and you can hear the ragged sound of you inhaling deeply and sharply. A shadow hovered above you and you felt a tug and your body lifting before dropping. It's dizzying when your head lifts upwards but thankfully you're gently settled down

    "Shit's adhered to her skin." 

    Was someone talking? No, let you sleep. Closing your eyes you hate that you're jostled as your legs are lifted and plopped on someone's knee.

    "Get me water and ice, her legs up will help with blood flow to the heart."

    Cold seeps through your uniform and the lip of a bottle entices your tongue to move and swish by swish cool water washes away the sandpaper feel of your mouth.

    "Cut it off her." You recognize that voice.

    "The first layer was easy, this is adhered to her skin." Pause, "I've seen this before Captain. You'll rip her skin off, best to wait until she regains conscious and..."

    "She's not HYDRA."

    "But you said..."

    "I know what I said, now get out!" There's a scuffle and a slam. Hands are tugging at the edges where the suit left your skin exposed. Someone had removed your boots and gloves... a sharp tug of pain at your temple reminded you you're wearing a mask that showed off your eyes and your mouth once the second layer was pulled aside. 

    "God dammit." Steve growled, "Fine! We'll do this the hard way!"

    Your fingers curl and you try to move but your legs are heavy and a prickling sensation runs up and down. Move you tell yourself but you can't.

    "All I wanted was a simple yes or no." Something cold presses against your cheek, a pointed tip digging, trying to dig, beneath the seam of material and skin. "This is your fault ****." 

    What?

    Pain causes your back to arch and your right calf to seize, you choke on a scream trying to move away from the slice of the knife as it digs under your skin and not the material but Steve has a firm grip on your chin.

    Blood seeps out and there's a swear from the man and the knife is pulled out. He ignore your whimpers of pain to move a single hand down your body. Skimming over your breasts, sides, sternum, waist, and back up to your throat, "A little less pressure eh?" The blood stained tip pops through the layer, Steve needing to push harder as the material - as thin as it was - was strong.

    The knife carefully drags downward, blood seeping from between the black material, and stills just under your bust line where your waist cincher catches the blade. "Hmm." Cutting straight down, the blade knocking through fabric and the hooks.

    The suit material was adhered to your cincher leaving your stomach bare. His free hand settled on your too warm skin, fingers tracing over the indentations left from the boning and material. 

    He tries to tug at the material but your body shifts with it, "I'll get this thing off you even if I have to skin you."

    Shouting catches his attention but Steve ignores the sound of gunfire, secure in the knowledge he was locked in. The knife veers direction and he slices down the side towards him, gripping the cincher for leverage. 

    Mid thigh Steve is startled when the door to the room flies across the room, knife jerking and slicing deep causing you to cry out, a pitiful cry. "Fuck!" Steve scrambles to cover the wound with his large hand but it does little to stop the blood.

    A hand grips into the back of his neck and tosses him as if he were a rag doll. He hits the wall leaving a crumbling indentation in the concrete. Shaking it off, Steve is prepared for a fight but once the disorientation is shaken off he manages to catch a glimpse of red before realizing he's alone.

    You're gone.

    .

    The bandage on your face and the butterfly band-aid running down your body to yet another oversized bandage at your thigh made it look as if it was bad. "I'm fine." A nurse stands idly to the side and you glance at her, "Tell him I'm fine."

    The him was Clark who was trying to take your temperature for the fifth time in the span of an hour. "You're not fine!" He also sends a look to the nurse who looks on amused, "Tell her she's not fine, a high fever is a sign of infection, God know what germs that cell had."

    "It was a clean cell." You try but Clark takes the opportunity to plop the thermometer into your mouth and you roll it under your tongue. 

    Beep.

    "It went up a degree!" 

    "For fucks sake. Lex!" You yell the other mans name.

    The phone rings at your bedside and you pick it up and hand it Clark who scowls. "Yes Dear." 

    The nurse tip toes closer to fluff your pillows as you settle back. The past few days a whirl wind of adventure. Between SHIELD putting out a warrant for you - both your identities - and fighting with Lex that no he shouldn't call a war against the organization and that you had a plan. Of course bumming it at the Luthor's meant you had a lovely nurse and a personal chef.

    The high life.

    "The husband requests I should leave you alone less I suffer a dry spell." He side eyes you and you hold a hand out to him which he takes and crawls beside you, careful of your body under the sheets. The nurse leaves and the two of you are left alone. "I was so scared. Seeing you there... bleeding..."

    "Me too." You admit, "I shouldn't be surprised but I am. Steve... that's not my Steve."

    His arm pulls you closer, dragging you off your pillow and into his arms. "He was never yours." It hurt but it was the truth. He gently brushes away your tears - it's not fair you still cried for this man - and gently turns your head so you can gaze at him, his touch soft as it hovers above your bandage. "Give us a chance ****."

    "Clark..." your eyes burn with more tears, afraid, you're so afraid. "I can't."

    "He could have killed you and yet he still holds a place in your heart."

    What? "No."

    "He's still there, he lived everyday content with another woman while you were left alone and bitter. Everything you've done to get to this point was because of him. He's still there, in your heart, a parasite, keeping you from moving on and taking a risk." You're  quiet and his normally stoic self turns frustrated and says, "The asshole stabbed you, doesn't he deserve to suffer?"

    "Yes. He deserves to suffer." The anger surged and you used your arm to prop yourself up, "Steve humiliated me. They all knew, fucking knew, and... I still have the fucking dress." Clark frowned, "How could he do that to me, why Clark. Why?"

    "Because he can." You flop back on the mattress and cover your eyes with the heels of your hand and will the hurt to die and your tears to dry. "He's  heartless but you're not."

    "Clark..."

    "No. He never cared ****, he used you while Sharon was away. If it wasn't for the other asshole, Steve would have dumped you at the alter or killed you off and you know that's true. Look what he did to you, you don't think he would have that spy take you out?"

    "No." You choke out and you sniff before a grin curls your lips. "He would have done it."

    "Or the..."

    "No." Sniff, "I hacked his journal. He was going to cause a car accident." Clark went stiff and in the distance you hear a crash, a slam of a door, and you glare at Clark, "You didn't hang up the phone!" It wasn't a question because a moment later the door to your bedroom swings in and the very tall, very angry shadow of Lex Luthor fills the doorway. 

    "****." It was your full name. Your full legal name and you went absolutely still. 

    "Babe..." Clark tries but Lex is a storm cloud as he saunters forward and ignores the pet name only his husband was allowed. 

    "Are you soft in the head?" Lex loomed over you and for the first time you were scared of him. 

    "Lex..."

    "Car accident? You knew he was planning on killing you and you still did nothing." The man didn't have to shout but each word was laced with venom that had your heart skip a beat.

    "I..."

    "Swallowing a bottle of pills isn't what you do when someone plans to murder you." Oh shit, "Jumping head first into missions without backup or extra ammo is not the way one plots revenge." Fuck. "Running off and putting yourself in suicidal situations does nothing but get you killed!"

    "I know."

    "Then why must you be so stupid!"

    "Because I needed to feel something!" You shout, it hurts to sit up but you scramble to do so as Clark assists. "I was stupid, is that what you want to hear? How stupid I was to believe that someone  could love me? Me? That someone would want me for something other than sex? That I was beautiful? Smart? That I was more? Stupid of me to think that a person could think I was worth a commitment and kids and a last name, a home, I was stupid to think I was worth a home, someone who can... can love me..."  it was hard to breath and see as the old hurt rear its ugly head and you can't be strong, dropping your head, spine hunching you press your hands against your eyes, the pressure easing the headache that was throbbed steadily. 

    "Lex, ease off." Clark rubs circles on your back.

    "No. She needs to deal with this and not wallow in self pity."

    "Lex!"

    Sniffing up the snot you wipe your nose and say, "It's not wallowing. I'm not a victim, read the definition asshole."

    "Of course you're not love but crying doesn't get back at someone who wants to cut your break cords."

    Sniff, "Drunk driver." Your eyes itch and you rub them again, "A t-bone."

Clark takes in your red eyes and the flush to your face before looking up to his husband, "Kill him."

    "No."

    "Already on it." Lex says matter of factly. 

    Again you say, "No. Death is too good." 

    Lex sighed, he was ready to snap at you again. "He's enhanced. What's your plan? You can't get close to him like before."

    "He's a conservative man, his reputation is everything to him." You say, "I got a plan to get SHIELD off my back and I'll make public his journals and porn crap."

    Lex frowns, "No maiming? Missing limbs?"

    You shake your head, "No. There's some heavy shit in those journals and secrets about the team. I'll black out the intel from missions but Steve gets off on knowing that the world sees him as this perfect man. A God amongst mortals. He won't know how to deal with it."

    "Alright, ok, we can work with that." Hands continued rubbing circles on your back, "Can I punch him at least?"

    "You're getting your hands dirty?" Surprised, Lex glanced down at you, "Guess he loves you more than me." In response Clark lugged a pillow at him.

    "Punch him twice. One for me and one for you." It comes from you.

    "Break his leg for me." Lex sends you a look but you don't say a word, "Payment for the stitches."

    "Mhm." You'd probably scar too. "Break both legs." You rub at your thigh where it itched.

    "I smell blood." Clark leans over and moves the blanket aside and patches of red bloom on your bandage, your shorts hiked up to V of your thighs. "Lex, get the nurse. You might have popped a stitch."

    "It's ok, I'm ok."

    "No, you're not." 

    The nurse comes in with a first aid bag and your bandage is removed showing that yes, you popped a stitch. It doesn't take long to fix it but you do lean into Clark for comfort. 

    .

    SHIIELD's system is down.

    Their backup of a backup doesn't work, nothing works. Cards danced on the screens, Queens of spades, hearts, diamonds, and clubs bounce up and down, left to right, in no specific direction. 

    They all know whose calling card halted all communications and in a solo room where a group of people who had complete access to everything were privy to a badly drawn cartoon of a queen of hearts card threatening to release sensitive information to earth and Google Earth images of all their safe house locations including their own. 

    Less than a day later SHIELD pulled all their warrants and people in the search of you. 

    An email was immediately sent with your resignation and quickly after that a website was made public with Captain America Secrets on full view and no A.I. or hacker could tear it down. 

    Not with the insane amount of protection you encased it in. Still, you had fail safes in case it was taken down plus the internet where nothing died was quick to copy and paste and you sat back in your hello kitty onsie as the world burned Steve Rogers and the Avengers.

    Tony's PR team was quick to claim it was a hoax and the others had denied all allegations against their own humiliation but you had finally let it go. 

    You had to.

    Looking up as a set of floor to ceiling windows slid open and you watched as Superman flew in and landed. His hair was in disarray, a portion of his suit was torn and blood was splattered on his cheek, not his blood you're sure. "Had fun?"

    A grin is tossed your way and the papers on the coffee table ruffled as the man sped to you and was right there, making your eyes cross. "Beautiful. Perfect. Brilliant. Patient. Crazy. Lovely."

    "Clark, heros say no to drugs." You interrupt his rambling.

    "I'm sober."

    "Meth?"

    "****."

    "Cocaine?"

    "****."

    "Sugar?" There's seconds, time for you to turn your head as Clark leans in, but you hold your breadth as he kisses you. A soft and gentle pressure and it's so sweet.

    "Let me love you ****." his brows press against yours, "Let us love you. Give us a chance."

    No.

    Just no.

    You don't need the extra heartache.

    "Okay." It slips out and you can't take it back. Do you want to take it back? 

    Clark's face is one of excitement and his eyes shine with something that you've seen before, when he looks at his husband and you were a sucker for pain. You can't take it back, "You won't regret it I promise." And with that Clark picks you up and you hold on. 

    "I'm not having sex so you can put me down." You kick your legs because you're almost sure you wouldn't.

    "Oh I know." He walks confidently to the still open window, "We need Lex for that. He has a sturdy desk and sound proof office."

    "Clark!"

    And he jumps, flying off in the direction of his husband's company. It would be a pleasant surprise but at least he was right, that desk was sturdy. 

    End.

Notes:

I can't write sex scenes so there you go. Use your imagination. I picture a spit roast scenario and a very slippery desk.

 I can confirm that Superman kicked Steve's ass, broke his legs - twice - and punched 3 times. Which is why Clark arrived looking disheveled. Also Steve did give as good as he got but Superman is a pretty boy with hopefully good dick (for you the readers sake ;)

#fanfiction #avengers #mirkysconcubinefiction #complete #dark steve rogers #female reader #i thought you should know #sequel #part two of two #clark kent x reader x lex luthor #clark kent × lex luthor #clark kent x reader #lex luthor #lex luthor x reader #female reader #dark themes #i regret alot but not this #crazy

[hitsuackerman]

Unpredictable (Overhaul x Reader) pt.30

warnings: this cannot be read solo

Links: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11, part 12, part 13, part 14, part 15, part 16, part 17, part 18, part 19, part 20, part 21, part 22, part 22, part 23, part 23.5, part 24, part 25, part 26, part 27, part 28, part 29

Masterlist to my other fics: here :) (that has not been updated for how many months now... proceed with caution~)

“Kurono.” Overhaul spoke up as he discarded red stained gloves. “You’re in charge while I’m gone. Something came up.”

“Are you going to her?” He asked as he accepted the gloves and threw them into a bin. Taking a disinfectant from the corner, he began to wipe a small area of the chair Eri had sat. The day was rather long and none of them had sufficient sleep.

While it was true that Overhaul had went home late at night, the shuffling of his footsteps was enough to peek Kurono’s interests. Knowing full well where he had come from, he assumed it was safe to spark up a conversation with Kai. Of course, there was a tinge of regret when he agreed to working on the bullets. A mere check up turned into an extensive fix of the small deadly items.

“She is asking for information regarding Tamisura.” The annoyance behind his mask was a little too obvious. He hated that woman with a passion.

“Tamisura? She’s part of the Fukuo Kai now?” Kurono was not expecting that news at all. “Isn’t she the loner type?”

“She is.” He sighed. “However, that woman was given a rather good portion of the Fukuo Kai’s members. If anything, she’s basking in the sudden power given to her. It won’t surprise me if she falls drunk to the sensation.”

“Have you interacted with her during those meetings?” Kurono asked as he locked the experiment room. The only sound echoing were his and Kai’s footsteps.

“Once. There have been many meetings to which I have chosen not to partake in.”

“Do they know?”

“No. It wouldn’t be fun if I gave them everything.” It wasn’t all a lie, though. He was never a huge fan of meeting with the other yakuzas. Even before the Shie Hassaikai was established, he strayed away from those gatherings. “I’ll be back before the night falls.”

“Alright.”

“See to it that Eri-chan eats. If not, force her.”

Kurono simply nodded and watched as Overhaul walked his way towards his car. If he were doing Shie Hassaikai business, he was sure he would have to drive him around but this time he was the one moving. It only meant he was going towards his only person of interest. Whether it was a good or bad thing, Kurono couldn’t tell. Brushing those thoughts aside, he went to the kitchen. The child would surely not eat whatever he would cook, but at least he followed orders.

The drive towards your apartment was uneventful. Occasionally, he would yawn and roll his shoulders. The night was rather long and not even that cup of coffee he had 6 hours ago helped give him energy. Remembering that he had to buy food, he turned right and went for Mendy’s. Knowing what you would want, he ordered something for himself too.

Staring at the rear view mirror, he took note of the license plate. It was a pretty run down car but the plate was new. Must be a second hand car, he thought to himself. Looking at the hood, he scoffed at the dirt.

“Disgusting.” He complained as he reached out for the paper bag.

Knowing he was using his personal car, the guard would surely not allow him entry to the basement parking. Finding a secure spot a few good blocks away, he took off his jacket and folded the sleeves of his dress shirt. Sliding the tie off his neck, he checked the rearview mirror for any oddities. Seeing as it was clear, he took a surgical mask and grabbed the food.

Walking his way closer to the building, he could see a few of the lesser members of the Shie Hassaikai doing their assigned task. With his phone ringing, he took it out and answered it.

“Hurry up. I’m starving.” You complained.

“Give me 5 minutes.” He quickened his pace. “And don’t complain about the food getting cold. You have a microwave.”

“Are you walking?”

“Yes.”

“You know the guard knows your car right?” You sat down on the sofa and began to prepare the files.

“I used my personal one.”

“I’ll meet you at the entrance.” Just as you stood up, he told you there was no need. “Okay then. Just knock when you’re here.”

Dropping the call, you began to review the files you had prepared. Most of them were just gathered data regarding Tamisura and the Asaki-Gumi. With barely anything to get on, all you could do was sigh and hope that Overhaul could provide a decent amount of information. Knowing full well that he attended meetings without the precincts knowledge, the chances were there.

Hearing the knock on your door, you were quick to open it and be greeted with a paper bag held to your face. Taking it from his hands, you stepped aside and he went in.

“You look different today…” You commented as the snacks were taken out from the bag.

“How so?”

“Your sleeves are folded and your jacket’s missing.” And he looked really good. “Any special event I missed?”

“As I recall,” He walked towards the sofa and took a seat. “You mentioned you were bugged, is that right?”

“And?”

“If it wasn’t the Shie Hassaikai’s doing, then it surely could have been Nighteye or your precinct themselves. However, we seem to have grown rather too comfortable with one another that another party has taken your interest.”

On instinct, your eyes began to survey your unit.

“I was followed on my way here. Hence my tardiness.” Overhaul let out a sigh. “A few of my men are patrolling the area but as to whether or not they trailed me all the way here is for debate.”

“You set up a few henchmen here?” You raised an eyebrow.

“Precautionary measures, my guilty pleasure.”

It had been a long while since you last heard him call you that nickname. Feeling your mind turning to mush, you quickly grabbed a folder and handed it over to him. When he leaned back on the sofa and began to scan the papers, you couldn’t help but stare.

The young yakuza boss was examining files with a police officer. One of the most powerful and feared villains sat there with his sleeves rolled to his elbows while his mask hung limply on his ear. Looking at his hands, the gloves were still there but in some strange way, they complimented him. The walk towards your apartment ruffled his hair a bit too.

With your cheeks slowly reddening, you snapped yourself back to reality.

“So, uh, what exactly do you know about Tamisura?”

“As to the names of her quirk, I am not sure.” He began. “But, the records here state facts that she does need time to prep her abilities. If I am not mistaken, she needs a rather considerable amount of time as well.”

“Would you know how long?”

“Assuming it hasn’t evolved, once she is around her target, she would need at least 20 minutes.”

“Is there a time limit to her quirk?”

“Perhaps an hour.”

“That long?” You cursed at the duration.

“As for how to stop her speed, it is beyond my knowledge.” He shrugged. “Based on what I’ve gathered, she still prefers to work alone despite having a few new men under her wing.”

“How do you know so much about her, though?”

“She’s quite popular in the underground.” A few more exchanges of information, it was safe to say that you had gained just enough to satisfy Nighteye. With the bug now planted in the Fukuo Kai, the raid was now within arms reach.

Now that you were done interviewing the yakuza, the two of you were now eating the food he had bought. As always, he came through and ordered what you liked in their menu. You wanted to start a conversation with him, yet the only thoughts running through your head was the amount of time left you had with him.

“Tsukauchi has informed me that we will be partnering during the raid, is that correct?” Overhaul broke the silence.

“We are.” You couldn’t help but chuckle. “Back to where we were, huh?”

“Being melancholic?”

“I can’t help it. In a matter of days the raid will take place and after that, we’ll see each other as enemies. Tragic, isn’t it?”

“You were the one who pursued this.”

“Blaming everything on me?” You teased and kicked his leg. “Who was the one who attmepted to seal the deal?”

“I was not blaming, (y/n). I never stated that I too did not pursue this.” He pointed his index finger at you. Upon hearing your laughter, he couldn’t help but notice the sudden weight on his shoulders. Shaking the looming fear that crept in him, he grabbed a glass of water and gulped it down.

“Now that we’re on the topic…” You grabbed a pillow and hugged it. “What did you first think of me?”

“Annoying.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“That hurts.”

“Along the way, you only grew more annoying. But somehow I got used to it and find it rather endearing in its own cursed way.” He paused and rolled his golden eyes. “Were those the words you wanted to hear?”

“Maybe. Flowery words don’t suit you.”

“Really?”

“Don’t mock me, Chisaki.”

“That’s all we’ve been doing these past few minutes.” He flicked your forehead. “But I stand by what I said. I have to go, (y/n).”

“So soon?” The words went out of your mouth before you could think.

“The longer I stay the higher they’ll suspect me. You wouldn’t want your plans to go into failure, no?”

Leading him to the door, you couldn’t help but wonder what would happen in the next few days. With the raid’s plan going smoothly, it was only a matter of time before Nighteye would push for your full cooperation with their case. Would you still be able to meet him in secret? Or would the heroes truly prevail and bring their needed justice home? Could you even dare look at him when they detain him?

“Don’t overthink things.” Overhaul said as he rested his head on your shoulder.

“I can’t help it…” Your grip on the doorknob tightened.

“It isn’t the end of your world. We still have one more moment before going separate ways.”

“Right…” You turned around to face him. Taking in the features of what his mask didn’t cover, you couldn’t help but raise your hand in an attempt to touch his face. Remembering that he wasn’t one who was fond of physical contact, you decided it was best not to continue your action. “I’ll see you next week.”

Watching as Overhaul exited your building, you dragged your feet back to the sofa. Closing your eyes, images of possible outcomes began to flood your head. With Nighteye knowing your complicated relationship, there was no escaping. All you could do was think of alibi’s to clear whatever you could.

Even if you did file a case about them bugging you, it wouldn’t be the best decision due to it leaning on their favor. It would also be best to not let the media know about whatever footage they had obtained.

With nothing else to do, you quickly grabbed your laptop and began to search for the details once villains would be handed over to the HPSC.

- - - - -

I hope you guys liked the chapter despite me being gone x) again, if you want to be tagged, feel free to message me or comment :) Take care and have a nice day!

would you buy me a ko-fi :3

#mha overhaul #mha chisaki kai #bnha overhaul #overhaul #chisaki kai x reader #chisaki kai x y/n #overhaul x reader #overhaul x y/n

[blouisparadise]

Here are some great bottom Louis fics that were posted or completed during the month of June. We really hope you enjoy this list. Happy reading!

1) Until You’re Home | Explicit | 1039 words

Louis lives in London, Harry lives in Tokyo. They make it work.

2) He Holds My Paradise | Mature | 1332 words 

“What is it that you want, baby?”

“Your dick” Louis breaths out, choking on his own words, neck still covered by his boyfriend’s hand.

“And where do you want it, baby?” the Devil asks him, a satisfied smirk painting his lips. “in my pussy, please.”

3) Morning | Explicit | 1428 words 

Harry and Louis wake up and have a 'productive' morning in the shower ;)

4) Let's Go To The Beach | General Audiences | 1489 words 

Note: This fic contains no explicit smut, but since it’s omega Louis, we’ve included it. This is a sequel. Part one of this fic is #6 on this list. 

"Louis," Harry repeated.

"Right," Louis sighed. "He tried to scent me."

or the one where Louis has a meeting with an aggressive alpha and Harry calms Louis down.

5) Sweet Relief, Pretty Please | Not Rated | 1840 words 

Louis is drunk, sad and alone, and Harry is a wanker.

6) Hey Moon, Don't You Fall Down | Mature | 2574 words 

Note: The sequel to this fic is #4 on this list. 

"Make me yours," Louis opened his eyes and put his hands on Harry's shoulders. "I'm ready, alpha, always been ready for you. Since the first day we met, I was yours. Please," Louis gasped as Harry slid his fingers out of him.

or the one where Harry and Louis finally bond.

7) Nothing Like Anything | Explicit | 2614 words 

Harry is bored of his frat parties. No one interesting comes anyway.It's always drunk people, grinding in the living room, strangers trying to catch his eye. He's about to leave, just to ease his pounding head when he sees him, sinful on the dance floor and suddenly the party isn't so bad.

8) Over Exposed - Part Two| Explicit | 2840 words

Note: This fic is a sequel to this fic.

Harry and Louis take a quick break from Harry's tour to attend the VMAs, then have a night out at a club.

9) Sweet Vanilla Cream | Explicit | 2896 words 

Harry fights to resist his roommate's new omega boyfriend, Louis. Louis maybe doesn't want him to resist.

10) Take Off Your Glasses | Mature | 3742 words

Louis was enjoying his time, as he decided to spend his weekend clubbing, Louis knows no one in there, yet someone wanted to mess with him to know who's Louis the attractive boy in the black skirt.

"It’s Louie.. Sir."

11) Rose’s Fortune | Mature | 5055 words 

Note: This fic contains no explicit smut but since it’s a/b/o we’ve decided to include it in this monthly roundup.

Omega Louis takes one of his siblings to the doctors (check up, possible broken bone or possibly injections?) and the new Dr is Alpha Harry. Harry is great with kids and Louis is smitten. Harry is smitten too but attempts to act professionally and keep his distance whenever Louis visits the Drs with his siblings or to pick up his prescriptions. But Harry realises there is no reason for him not to make a move as Louis isn't under his care.

12) Dare You To Move | Not Rated | 6060 words 

The one where Harry falls in love with the omega who is the brain behind the omega march he joined.

13) Savage Garden’s Song Rules Sometimes (While Yours Always Reign Supreme) | Explicit | 6261 words 

Note: This fic is a sequel to this fic.

The morning after one too many nights of isolation for Louis Tomlinson and his hot & dangerous boy.

Aka how insanely adorkable Harry Styles could be after a sulking episode. [wordplay edition]

14) I Can Feel Your Blood Pressure Rise | Explicit | 9292 words 

"Hello, your Highness," Harry heard a familiar voice coming from behind him. Chills ran down his body as he felt the coldness of something sharp poke the back of his neck, "Turn around slowly or I'll hurt you,” the voice said in a teasing tone.

Where Louis is some sort of Robin Hood and sneaks into the King's castle, only to be fucked hard.

15) You Know What They Say | Explicit | 10323 words 

Nice guys always finish last.

16) Teenage Dream | Explicit | 10333 words

Harry and Louis get reintroduced to each other by their friends. It’s an instant connection. Now they’ve just gotta get to know each other.

17) Move So Petty (You're All I See) | Explicit | 10548 words 

Harry’s pretty content with his life. He loves his job- a veterinarian at a local clinic who’s already built up a name for himself despite his young age. He loves his gorgeous flat with its wide, open space and minimalistic, yet still homey feel. He loves his family who he talks to and visits as much as possible, not bothered by the long hours of driving to Holmes Chapel from London he endures multiple times a month. He loves his friends and his coworkers and his neighbors- especially Allison, the little old lady next door who brings him and Louis cookies on holidays and who always comments on how “strong and handsome you are, Mr. Styles,” everytime he sees her.

And most importantly, he loves Louis, just- maybe in a slightly different way.

18) When Tomorrow Comes | Explicit | 11111 words 

The one where Louis is an Omega who has been keeping himself pure for his Alpha, Harry is a traditional Alpha focusing on his studies while he waits to find his bondmate, and Niall is a sneaky bastard who keeps borrowing Louis’ clothes and never returning them.

19) Smells Like Omega Spirit | Not Rated | 11769 words 

Note: This fic contains no explicit smut, but since it’s omega Louis, we’ve included it.

Louis is an omega doing a test run on neutralizers for a class project. Every time he talks to Harry he smells completely different.

Harry is an alpha who can't figure out if he's going crazy or his sense of smell is broken, but all he wants to figure out what Louis' real scent is.

Somehow they figure it out.

20) You Kill My Mind | Explicit | 13181 words 

Harry has always been ashamed to reveal his kinks to friends and partners alike. One day he meets a man who seems perfectly designed for him and they embark on a wonderful, sex-filled exploration journey.

21) In The Heat Of The Moment | Mature | 15743 words 

When Louis unexpectedly goes into heat in maths class it takes him way too long to figure out why (it might have something to do with a certain curly haired boy sitting next to him).

22) Was In No Hurry, Had No Worries | Explicit | 21485 words 

The year is 1999 and Harry can’t stop dedicating songs to Louis on the radio. Or the one where Harry hits Louis with his car.

23) You're The Smell Before Rain, You're The Blood In My Veins | Explicit | 21945 words 

“It was him you talked about, when you used to call me late at night, saying you were missing your ex? Was it him, your important five-year long story? Was it him the person you had thought about proposing, one day?” Nick asks with a low voice, almost inaudible, almost like he’s talking to himself “He’s my boyfriend…” he whispers again, without looking up.

“I know! And you shouldn’t worry, because you don’t have a single reason to do so. He’s yours now, he’s with you. I really don’t understand why you came here, honestly” Harry says defending himself out of instinct, even if he has no reason to react like that. He just- just wishes for Nick to leave his room and go back home to Louis. Because at this point Nick has Louis and fuck, why can’t he just go fuck off for once? Doesn’t he have enough shit do deal with already? Does he really need to get into this as well? Right now?

24) Like The Earth Around The Sun | Explicit | 23600 words 

The one where Harry bursts in on Louis in heat and things only get more complicated from there.

25) The Blood of Love | Explicit | 25273 words 

Harry is a nurse and Louis is a painting worth more than a thousand words. As desire and darkness encompasses him, Harry has to learn the secrets of Thorne Hills manor before he succumbs to the mystery that surrounds him.

26) Habit | Teen & Up | 27095 words 

In which Louis is a Donna who has a soft spot for alpha Harry.

27) Let Me Carry Your Weight | Explicit | 28633 words 

Louis is fresh out of a bad relationship with someone who made him feel awful about how he looked. on his journey to better himself, he meets harry - the ridiculously attractive and fit personal trainer.

28) Robbers And Cowards | Explicit | 33237 words 

A modern day Robin Hood AU where Louis and Harry (don’t really) hate each other but they hate greedy billionaires more.

29) Caves End | Explicit | 39711 words 

The one where Harry has lost his future, Louis has lost his past, but maybe together, they can find a way through the dark.

30) Soaked In The Blood Of Angels | Explicit | 40867 words 

The boy looks drugged, caught between a man who’s almost twice his size and a girl who looks like she wouldn’t even break a sweat snapping him in half despite her small stature, eyes closed and mouth open as he pants, arching up between them almost as if he’s trying to escape.

Normally, Harry would ignore it and continue on his search for someone to drink from, someone who wouldn’t mind his sharp teeth and rough hands. He’s seen plenty of boys like this one, ones who picked the wrong playmates, and if he stopped to rescue every single one of them he would have died from thirst a long time ago.

This one, though. There’s something about this one, the sheen of his bright blue eyes as he blinks slowly, looks around as though he doesn’t know where he is, the weakness of his hands as he tries to push the girl off of him and make his escape.

31) With Stars Of Brightest Gold | Explicit | 41109 words 

Louis Tomlinson is the premier courtesan at the Moulin Rouge. In his dreams, he has always wanted to be a famous stage actor. Locked into his contract, he has little means of escape until a handsome duke promises him freedom with a romantic alliance. Due to a case of mistaken identity playwright Harry Styles is thrown into the mix, compelling Louis to choose between his head or his heart.

32) We Both Got Nothing To Hide | Explicit | 43811 words 

Omega Louis has a secret nest. Alpha Harry keeps losing his clothes.

33) In A World Alone | Explicit | 50787 words 

Harry’s breath catches as the glow grows bigger and bigger until he’s squinting his eyes and blinking at the sudden intense brightness. He closes his eyes, rubbing at them helplessly. When his eyes open again- he gasps, grip loosening on his bow as he gawks at the sight before him.

Because the swan is gone.

And in its place is the prettiest omega Harry has ever seen.

A Swan Lake AU.

34) Hunting Ground | Not Rated | 583658 words 

Note: This fic is the third part of a series. Part two is #38 in this list.

Louis Tomlinson didn’t know how complicated life could be until he became a werewolf. And until he was mated to Harry Styles, the son — and enforcer — of Liam, the leader of the North American werewolves, he didn’t know how dangerous it could be either...

Louis and Harry have just been enlisted to attend a summit to present Liam's controversial proposition: that the wolves should finally reveal themselves to humans. But the most feared Alpha in Europe is dead set against the plan — and it seems like someone else might be too. When Louis is attacked by vampires using pack magic, the kind of power only werewolves should be able to draw on, Harry and Louis must combine their talents to hunt down whoever is behind it all — or risk losing everything.

35) The Wrath of the Emerald Eyes | Mature | 85205 words 

His chin is grabbed harshly, facing the two deep green eyes that have been getting on his nerves for the past ten minutes. The smirk on the man's face does not vanish. The grip of his hand on Louis' chin does not soften, his thumb at the side of his lower lip.

His smile widens as he answers Louis' question, ''My name is Styles, but you will call me Captain."

Pirate AU.

36) Cry Wolf | Not Rated | 85205 words 

Note: This fic is the second part of a series. Part three is #36 in this list.

Louis never knew werewolves existed, until the night he survived a violent attack... and became one himself. After three years at the bottom of the pack, he'd learned to keep his head down and never, ever trust dominant wolves. Then Harry Styles, the enforcer—and son—of the leader of the North American werewolves, came into his life.

Harry insists that not only is Louis his mate, but he is also a rare and valued Omega wolf. And it is Louis' inner strength and calming presence that will prove invaluable as he and Harry go on the hunt in search of a rogue werewolf—a creature bound in magic so dark that it could threaten all of the pack.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

You can find other monthly roundup fic rec lists here.

#bottom louis #top harry #blp fic recs #monthly fic recs #fic recs #blp #larry

[arcales]

heyy, could you write some hcs about how you think it'd be like to be best friends with each of the main six? (maybe add the courtiers? 🥺 if it isn't too much for you)

Of course it's not too much!!

Main six + courtiers as best friends with MC

Asra:

Like canon, being Asra's best friend would include him thinking about you 24/7

He still disappears sometimes, but he makes sure to connect you with other friends (such as Muriel!) So neither of you are alone!

When spending time together, it can often be spent in silence, doing things on your own, but together

Travelling together!! He'd always find new places to go, and recommend stuff like backpacking

I also imagine you and Asra would make jewelry, so stuff like friendship bracelets and similar would be commonly found around your places. Of course, you'd also give them to others

Nadia:

She's the kind of friend who wants you to succeed

So she will invite you to parties and other networking events

You would try out outfits together! Then you'd also invite the others to have a casual tea party and outfit try-ons

She'd be the ultimate wingwoman. She sees you staring at someone and immediately finds out who they are, and does everything she can to help you "naturally" meet the person

If you have a familiar, Nadia treats them as her own. Always gentle and kind.

Like canonically, if someone was treating you poorly, Nadia wouldn't hesitate to stand up for you

Julian:

Get ready to spend a lot of time at the Rowdy Raven

Julian's known to drink a lot, but would never force you to do it with him. When/if you drink with him, you always end up at the pumpkin bread stand, eating a lot of bread. When/if you don't drink with him, you might end up on taking care of him duty.

Like canon, can expect him to find random ways to get into your house, and eventually you speak to him without even looking if he's there (because you know he is)

He often tells you about new medical research, theories etc. And you encourage him to do it more.

He's vulnerable with you. Whether it's heartache, a hangover or anything else, he goes to you and little by little opens up more.

He'd also love adventures, so going on day trips is pretty common with Julian!

Muriel:

Like in his romance route, I imagine he'd take a while to get to know

You probably meet him through Asra, who spends a lot of time with you both. Once you and Muriel become best friends, he's often coming to the shop and you're coming to his hut to feed the chickens

You both take care of esch other, make sure neither of you are hungry, lonely etc.

Fun times include going through the forest, picking mushrooms

I imagine he's actually very good at storytelling and even singing, so those become a hobby you both explore

You'd also be the one encouraging him to open up and invite him to social events

Portia:

Since she spends s lot of time working at the Palace, I imagine you'd meet her there.

You'd quickly become friends through banter and an occasional gossip

Once you're close, you also help Portia out with work, so she can have a bit of a breather

Outside of the Palace, you're always attending festivals, visiting new shops

Nadia, Portia and you would often hang out and Portia would share weird stories about guests/courtiers

I imagine you'd also love to braid her hair makd different hairstyles. She'd pretend to be annoyed at first, but you'd later see her checking herself out in the mirror very excitedly

Lucio:

At first, Lucio doesn't know you're trying to be friends with him so he's not really paying attention to you

Lots of playful flirting, and you call him out when he steps out of line

When he sees you spending time and being friends with the others he gets curious

Once you're friends, he starts being genuine with his emotions, you support him while he's dealing with everything from the past

He loves board games. But hates losing. Every typical saturday goes like this: Lucio: "Hey do you want to play monopoly" MC and the other 5: *glaring at him* They still end up playing, and if Lucio wins, he brags about it the whole day. If he loses, he's sulking and needs dessert to feel better

Volta:

Going to every. Restaurant. In. Vesuvia.

Making sure they brought along money or it's been taken care of somehow, because you almost went bankrupt once going to lunch with Volta

They're insecure so they often need encouragement

Once you're close with them, you're pretty much the only one they care about except food

Vulgora:

They'd tease you or even shout at you at first

Once you get enough, you yell back at them and say you won't be treated poorly

They end up loving your energy and are like "wow nice". You're confused but go along with it

After that, Vulgora is still as hot headed as ever, but at least now they defend you at all times. They definitely got into multiple fights because someone looked at you wrong.

Valerius:

If you drink, you're likely to meet Valerius on Nadia's party while sipping some wine

He recognises the fact that you don't seem "fancy enough", but can still tell a good wine from a bad one

If you don't drink, he's likely to comment how it's a party for adults

Either way, you call him out for being pretentious and put him in his place. Nadia is also near to stop him from bring rude

He gets visibly embarassed, and apologises later in the evening. Then he asks questions about yourself.

Once you're close, he lets you style his hair

Valdemar:

Valdemar considers you childish at first

They're a demon who's lived for so long, there's nothing you can show them they haven't seen

Except!! When you show them random acts of kindness.

They eventually keep coming to you to see kindness in the world, even if it's not directed at them

Vlastomil:

If you don't like worms, Vlastomil gets offended

You might find a common ground if you like gardening, as worms love the dirt

After a while, you end up listening to his rambles about worms

I hope you liked this, it was fun to write!

#thanks for the ask! #the arcana #i rly like this one #muriel #lucio #portia #nadia satrinava #asra alnazar #volta #vulgora #valdemar #consul valerius #vlastomil #arcana headcanons

[a-monsters-love]

The Air Between Us: Part 1

[Prologue] [Part 1] [Blurb 1] [Part 2] [Blurb 2] [Epilogue]

Zuko x A!Reader:

Genre: fluff

Warnings: mild swearing

Word count: 7742

Time line: Takes place when the Gaang goes to the Fire Lords beach house with Zuko on Ember Island. I changed it from them going to see the play about themselves and go to a circus instead; I extended the time they were on the island to fit everything.

A/N: If your reading this I hope it lives up to any expectations, the prologue got so much more love than I thought it would. This is my first fan fic, the reader was originally written as my DnD OC so I apologize if she’s written wonky. I hope I wrote Zuko’s character well, I was worried I wrote him too OOC but I’ve read so much Zuko x Reader fanfics that I felt like it wasn’t that bad lmao. I am my own proof reader so please message me if I messed something up. Also I don’t know how to write Sokka or Suki’s character, I’ve never met anyone like Sokka and Suki has so little dialogue in the show that I feel like she’s just happy to be there.

(Y/N) = Your name (S/C) = Skin color (H/C) = Hair color (E/C) = Eye color

————

“SSHHUUUUUUU.” A loud, terrifying, growl hissed through the Fire Lords vacation home. Echoing into an almost animalistic growl.

“Ah.” Shu looks over to Katara, ”Sounds like (Y/N) is awake.” Probably also waking up everything else in the greater vicinity. Based on the ferocity in your voice they decide it’s probably best to rush over to the room you’re now resting in.

You’re alone, in a hastily cleaned dust covered room. You don’t know where you are. You aren’t aware of how you got here or what day it is. You’re sticky, you reek of herbs, and everything HURTS. These are facts you listed as you woke up. You hear the softest knocking on the door, “If you are not my brother or with him I will rip you to shreds.” You snarl at the door, it’s been a long time since you’ve been this mad, you can hear the hand that was on the door knob let go and take a step back, not going much further than that. Exhaustion starts taking over but you were determined to stay awake until you received your answers. You hear large familiar foot steps run over to the room you’ve been placed in. When the door finally opens you see your twin brother, Shu with Katara, and a very nervous looking Zuko up against the wall behind them. You determined he was the one you threatened. Your (E/C) eyes flick from the nervous fire bender to your brother, “You’re late and I have questions, little brother.” You hissed menacingly.

——

It’s been less than 24 hours since you passed out. In that time, you’ve managed to win over the Gaang and somehow sort out the choices your brother made for the both of you. Neither of which you disagreed with however you barely remember anything that happened after the end of the fight at the circus. You blacked out, this wasn’t a first, but it was a first from blood loss. Katara has been working on healing your wounds every 4-6 hours, letting the salve do its job before cleaning you as best she could through the fear that you might not have made it otherwise. She looks exhausted.

The night prior, when Zuko escorted you to the evacuation area, the Gaang had received the full disclosure on your wounds, your history, and your goals. During your first healing session you were face-in-lap of the Fire Prince, as he received endless teasing. Katara, all though giving him the ‘all knowing’ look the entire time, was the only person to have his back. You lost so much blood you needed to stay as warm as possible until your body regulated, and what’s a better hot water bottle than a fire bender?

——

“Hey Sifu Hot Water Bottle!” Toph hollered down the hall, Zuko groaned. Knowing he will never be able to live this down, but was it worth having you nuzzle into his lap like a sick turtle duck? Absolutely.

“What, Toph.” He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms at the tiny earth bender.

“Shu and Katara are getting herbs so you should keep your princess company~” Toph grinned from ear to ear, knowing his reaction, even if she couldn’t feel it through the hardwood flooring.

Zuko’s cheeks flushed brightly at the comment, letting out a forced ‘groan’ in an attempt to get the better of the girl. He, however, quite liked the idea and rolled around options in his head to see if he could do anything for you without needing healer expertise. He decides to prepare tea. He remembered a recipe for a pain killer tea that his uncle had made for him, it tastes like crap but he knew it could help.

Walking up to your door, no problem, walking in? That’s another story. You were passed out, why is he suddenly so nervous? Then he heard it, well he heard you. He’s never heard such a terrifying savage sound escape someone, let alone a person of your stature. He lightly knocked on the door as not to surprise you but received a threat regardless, this was new. “WHAT DID YOU DO??” Toph whisper yells from down the hall, Zuko not wanting to give up his spot, while not disturbing you he throws his hands in front of his chest indicating ‘I don’t fucking know’ quickly remembering she’s blind.

As if saved by the bell, Shu and Katara rushed up the hall to your room, “I didn’t wake her, I got here after the roar.” Zuko whispers before they open the door. He sees your bandaged body and has the desire to help but decides it’s best to stay out of the way. His gold eyes meet your own (E/C) eyes, causing him to remember the night prior, a blush dusts his face and he looks down.

Shu and Katara enter the room, leaving Zuko in the hall. “In or out, princeling.” You state dryly. He decides to walk in and sit against the wall, opposite to your brother and the water tribe girl. Setting down the tea pot he prepared. You can feel warmth radiating from him, Fire bending perks, you noted. “Someone help me into an upright position…please.” Your tone changes, almost begging for help. You’re tired and in pain and in need of answers. Zuko and Shu both gently help you lift yourself from laying on your chest to sitting upright. Zuko grateful for the bandages looks into his hands after letting go of you. Katara hands you a cup of tea. You look between the healer and Shu, “So… I barely remember anything after the battle at the circus, please fill me in..” You take a sip of tea without even flinching at the taste, to Zuko’s surprise.

“What?? What’s the last thing you remember?” Katara seems mind blown by the idea and Zuko looks as if he’s the one who lost too much blood.

You sip your tea slowly and tilting your head back and fourth trying to stitch together the memories. “Well, we trapped all the Fire Nation soldiers, Shu and I high-fived and that’s when things started getting hazy,” You stopped and tried to pull pieces to your mind, “I had said.. something to you guys and then my legs went weak and Zuko caught me.” You pointed at him, your ears turned red at the thought. “After that, nothing. Last time I blacked out that bad was in Omashu, like 2 years ago, and that was a party.” You ramble on, still a bit delirious from blood loss and medication.

Katara watches you, thinking over your condition. “Well, you did lose a lot of blood, if we knew sooner then maybe we could’ve done something.” She shakes her head and looks between the two boys before explaining the context of the night prior. She then comments that neither you or Shu gave goodbyes to anyone before you left, which she found weird.

You and Shu exchange looks, and erupt in laughter. To the shock of both Katara and Zuko, who found himself confused but smiling seeing you laugh. You groaned and held you sides, laughing hurt. “We’re circus kids, don’t worry about ‘goodbyes’ we have our means. Since we left them that means Auntie and Uncle are probably retiring.” You move your attention to your brother, “Did Uncle give you anything?” You finished your tea putting the cup down for a refill. You let a small shiver consume you.

“He gave me a box and told me to open it when your up and-or well,” He rolls his eyes. “Whatever that means.” He leans over and refills your glass.

“We’ll need that in the up coming war, so don’t lose it,” You seem back to you matter-a-fact like self. Looking back to Katara, “What’s the status on my wounds?” You ask, picking up your cup for another sip.  

She sighs, “It should only take a couple more sessions for it to not hurt so bad and to get you up again” She looks at the ground almost in an ashamed way, she glances at Zuko briefly while choosing her words. “I wasn’t able to prevent the scarring, you will forever have a large scar that stretches from the middle of your back up your neck and down your shoulders to both your hands.”

The room is quiet from Katara statement, you can feel the tension from her words. Noting the look she sent the scarred prince but keeping a calm face you nod, “Well, that’ll look badass.” Taking another sip of tea, “I wonder if it’ll be a problem with Aangs training, Air Bending masters get tattoos, right?” You start thinking aloud. You shrug at the thought, “Well, either way, when can we get to the next healing session? Because I’m cold and everything hurts and I’m hungry, this tea is helping but I can’t eat in this condition.”

Katara smiles brightly at your quick resolve and ushers the boys out to start the healing session. Zuko was replaying how quickly you came to a resolve about your scar in his head not noticing Katara trying to get his attention. “Hey.” You snap your fingers close to his face, causing a small breeze. “Are you gonna watch or are you gonna leave? I have to strip for this.” Zuko’s face was immediately red at the thought of what you just said and stumble-ran out of your room. And so, your first session while awake starts. Followed by every curse word and obscenity you can imagine escaping your mouth. This isn’t healing, this is assault!

Due to the depth of the wounds and the concern of Katara, you had multiple ‘healing sessions’ throughout that day. The day following you were up and running again, for the most part. You found yourself mostly watching Zuko and Aang train, much to Zuko’s dismay but he took note of the a light blush that dusted your face and he redness of your ears when he took his shirt off. He started taking it off earlier in his matches with Aang to see if he can get a reading out of you. Your angelic poker face is not something he could win against. That small smile is constantly plastered on your face.(*1)

However much you enjoyed seeing him with his shirt off, you enjoyed studying their sparring session more than anything. Both Zuko and Aang had multiple different influences in their bending, there are time Zuko’s moves look like that of a water bender. You have never seen anything like it, however you’ve only ever practiced with Shu, an earth bender, so you weren’t one to talk. You asked Aang the occasional question about air bending basics. Things to practice so you can find the middle ground you needed to have control of your bending better. You sit on the patio while they trained practicing your control, letting Aang correct you when needed.

——

“What about bending? When can I start fully practicing that?” You ask Katara while making a fresh pot of jasmine tea, it’s one of your many favorites.

Katara hums at the question, “You should be okay for now. BUT!” She looks you in they eyes. “No heavy lifting, and no going past your limits. If you start feeling sore or exhausted you must take a break.” You almost spat at the statement but stifled your laughter, you’re an air bender. Is air heavy? You jokingly thought, knowing how hilarious that sounds.

“Awesome,” You cough to hide your ongoing laughter. “Can you help me then? I want to change to practice.”

Katara agreed and followed you to your room. She had tied your (H/C) hair back, neater than you’ve ever tied it. You’re still in full bandage but you have a halter top exposing your bandaged midriff, and your most comfortable short harem pants, you liked the way they hugged your hips and sat comfortably at your knees. You walk out barefoot to the training grounds to Toph, who almost hit you with a boulder. “Hey, lightfoot! At least make sure you have a presence for me, you could’ve been back in bed!” She scowled in your general direction, “Katara would’ve blamed me!” She huffed.

You make sure both feet are flat to the ground and walk to the girl, “Could you help me with something?” At Aangs references and Sokka’s bad memories you try to describe the Airball court and the type of game that was played in it. “If we make one out of stone you can ‘watch’ me and Aang play and it’ll give me good practice to handle my air bending without creating an actual tornado or by using my fans.” Toph rolled the idea around in her head, “If we get a fire proof ball we can get Zuko in on the game?” You further suggest.

Almost like a light bulb goes off in Toph’s head she lights up, “(Y/N)! You’re a genius!” She runs off to look for the ideal location.

You go find Aang, catching him before he starts his sparing session, “Hey, Aang!”

Aang sees you calling and perks up, “Hey (Y/N), what up?” The young nomad asks, meeting you halfway.

“Okay, so,” You clap your hands together holding them in front of your chin. “Can Airball be played with 3 goals or does it have to be 2?” Your (E/C) eyes are almost glowing at the question throwing the boy for a loop, you’re finally acting more like yourself again.

“Well, since Air Nomads are traditionally pacifists I’d say only 2 goals to avoid having 2 teams ganging up on 1 team.” He smiles remember the times he played back in the Southern Air Temple, then his brow knit. “Why do you ask?” (*2)

You smile putting your hand on his small shoulders, “I’m having Toph use her bending to build an Airball court so I can practice my bending and I thought it could give you and Zuko a different type of field to spar on.” That last part you made up on the spot but it is a valid option. Aangs face lights up, “Do you want to grab Zuko and show me the ropes?”

You both grab Zuko, and a random empty metal box from the vacation house. He begrudgingly follows, being pulled hand in hand by two Air Benders, what has my life come to? He thought to himself while not shaking off either hand so he can keep holding yours. Aang explains the game rules and how it’s played on the way.

You follow the noises of the court being built by Toph and you hear her call, “(Y/N)! What were you thinking to use for the ball??” You can see she had stone and river rock options behind her however you didn’t want to risk the damage to you or Zuko. (*3)

“How ‘bout this?” You hand her the metal box, “If you metal bent it to the shape of a ball we can leave it hollow so it’ll be easier to move for me as an ‘inexperienced’ air bender and for Zuko who will have to use his flames to actually propel it.”

You can see Toph physically frown, “Hey, I’m not an earth bender, and as much as I wouldn’t mind taking responsibility if he got hurt, throwing boulders at him is not in my job description.” You both laugh and Toph agrees. You suggest Aang and Zuko use the court first for training then you can get to the game.

Toph has lifted a platform to the height of the court, “You’re pretty good at staying balanced on moving boulders.” She comments.

“Yeah, well, having a giant but strong Earth Bender for a twin your whole life does wonders for your balance.” You joke, pushing your elbow into Toph who is trying to stifle a smile at the mention of Shu.

While watching the boys jump around so gracefully reminds you a lot of the circus. You feel a bit sad at the thought and Toph picks up on it. “What’s wrong, lightfoot?”

You don’t hate the new nickname as much as the others seem to hate theirs, you lean back a bit on the platform holding your knees to keep your balance. “I was trained in all sorts of circus and show performances, piano, guitar, gymnastics, acrobatics, juggling, tight rope walking, and contortionism-“

Toph would have spat out her drink if she had one, “YOU’RE A CONTORTIONIST?” She gaps at you causing Zuko to blush, losing his balance and Aang to give him a big stupid grin.

“Ah-well-“ You stammer, blushing hard because no one outside of the circus ever seemed to be interested in the things you trained in. “Ye-yeah I was trained in all sorts of things-“ You look down at your knees to avoid making eye contact with the boys and not wanting to look at Toph, regardless of her being blind. “Watching them dance around reminds me of home.” You chuckle sadly.

Toph talks your head off with all sorts of questions about the circus and what you can do, once your embarrassment subsides you find yourself passionately talking about it. Before you realize it, the boys are done sparring and Aang asks if you’re ready.

You nod and hop to the court, trading places with Zuko. You accidentally bump your shoulder with his arm causing him to grab your hand in case you slipped, sending a hot sensation up your arm from where he held you. You smile softly and embarrassed “Sorry.” You rub the the back of your neck and squeeze his hand.

He lets go quickly. “Ah, yeah.” He stammers, “It’s fine, (Y/N).” Shooting a subtly smile back. You blush loudly, realizing this is the first time he’s said your name to you. You scurry to get to the center of the court.

“S-sorry if this isn’t as great as the courts you had at home. My instructions were vague.” You tell Aang, he shakes his head with a smile, he doesn’t care he’s just excited to play. You practice spinning the make shift ball in a web of air. Before throwing the ball at Aangs hoop.

——

The game starts between (Y/N) and Aang, and Zuko can’t take his eyes off of you. You don’t look like someone who can’t control their bending. Just watching you spin, flip and dance around from post to post is like a choreographed show. Even when you throw or kick the ‘ball’ consumed by air. “So, when are you gonna ask her out, Sifu hot water bottle?” Toph snickers, getting a general idea of the game, enjoying it none the less.

“What? What are you talking about?” Zuko scowls at the girl who just sarcastically snaps her neck in his direction.

“Really? Dude, your attention is on her every move and reaction.” Toph cheers loudly for you, making you a bit embarrassed missing your footing. You slip off the beam you aimed for but you push off the side of it just to hop on the top of another, Aang claps saying you’re a natural. “See, your heart rate just spiked at a little slip. Just ask her out, the worst she can say is no right?” Toph shrugs suggestively, “Maybe she likes you back.”

Zuko scoff at these comments before actually thinking about them. “Shut up.” Toph laughed and punched him in the arm. “What was that for!”

Toph smiles, “Thats how I show affection.” Her face beamed as she moved to the ledge of where they sat and waved at the on coming footsteps.

——

Aang has 3 points on you and you haven’t even scored yet, to anyone else you’d say it’s fine, it’s the first time you’ve played. You on the other hand are fairly competitive, and according to Aang you seem to have the rules down. You have the ball in your hand now and decide to throw all cation to the wind, literally in this case. You air bend something close to a funnel weaving around the posts and throwing the ball into it. Your hand twirling lightly to keep it moving. This does not work as planned, as the funnel created so much momentum that the metal make shift ball flattens to the stone hoop. You gasp putting your hands on your temples, “Oh spirits!”

Aang laughs a little too hard, Toph laughs while grumbling about ‘all her hard work.’ Zuko lets out a chuckle, this embarrassed you but your glad he seems to be having fun watching the mess you call a match end. “That was great (Y/N)! I’ve never seen you have that much control with your bending!” You hear Shu say, you didn’t even realize the rest of the Gaang had made their way to watch.

“I was trying so hard to be delicate, agh why don’t I know how to be delicate!” You groan, “I couldn’t even make one shot!” Ruffling you’re hands in your hair.

“There’s the competitive little sister I know,” Shu snorts, you made a tiny ball of air at the tip or your finger and shot it at him, hitting him in the center of his forehead. You laugh anyway.

“I can control little things and big things with my bending, the in between is where it gets hard.” You stretch letting out a barely audible whimper from your burn wounds.

“Hey, that was a lot better than I remember from first time Aang made me and Katara play,” Sokka snorts.

The only one who heard your whimper was Zuko, but that’s because you never lost his attention. Which annoyed him to no end when you were unconscious, but now? He just felt lighter having you around. He couldn’t pin down why, maybe it was the way your laugh was contagious, or that you always knew how to say the right thing? Even when it wasn’t directed at him. Somehow your flaws made you more wonderful to him. Competitive? Generally sarcastic while sounding like an Angel? Even when you’re cranky he wants to be around you. He just liked it, a lot more than he anticipated. He thought at first he wanted to be more like you, now maybe it’s not that.

He let the thoughts run around his head as the Shu and Toph earth bend the platforms everyone was sitting on back into the ground. You head back with Aang, Zuko and Toph, who was dragging Shu by his hand, talking about the game and how to improve the court. Aang laughed explaining that it’s great for training but Airball posts were general made of soft woods, you face palm at that lack of knowledge. Letting out another small whimper from your wound. Zuko hesitates but decides to put one of his hand gently over top the biggest part of the wound. With his generally high internal temperature he figured the heat might help. Your back stiffens in surprise and he starts to pull away, you grab his forearm gently indicating that it’s okay and look over towards him. You mouth the words ‘Thank you,’ your general angelic poker face now replaced by something more relaxed and dusted with blush, you look away hoping he doesn’t notice that your ears turning red. He does.

——

Later that evening everyone was heading to bed, you were more sore than you let on but you weren’t tired. You’re finally starting to feel some energy come back to you after ‘working out’ today. You couldn’t do your normal stuff but you weren’t upset, understanding the situation. Katara was the last person you said good night to after she helped you bathe, you had your healing session in the water. Now with a fresh pot of jasmine tea you sat on the porch staring at the scenery, less than a week ago you lived such a hodgepodge lifestyle with the circus. Albeit this is temporary, you couldn’t imagine your life any other way at this point. You hear soft foot steps come from behind you, you pay no mind until you hear them speak. “You know, you should probably have a blanket or something with you, it’s cold in the evenings here.” It’s Zuko, you smile up at him and offer him tea. Seemingly ignoring his comment about the weather you pat your hand at the space near you, suggesting he sits.

He sits down and pours himself a glass, jasmine. His favorite, he wonders if you knew. “Jasmine tea is one of my favorites,” You say.

“Really?” He sips the tea, and watches you. Your seemingly angelic demeanor is gone, you look like you’re in your own world now.

“Well, actually I haven’t met a tea I didn’t enjoy.” You chuckle and hold the glass in your hands to keep yourself warm, you were relishing in the cold but for some reason now you craved warmth. Maybe since he pointed it out? You don’t think too long on it, you focus on your breathing. Aang taught you a special breathing technique that all Air Benders use to regulate their body temperature. “There is an older gentleman who would visit my aunt and uncle when our travel schedules aligned, he made the best tea.” You smile into your cup, “He’s the one who actually taught me how to make tea.” You chuckle, knowing you’re not nearly as good as him. A shiver overcame you.

You made him think of his Uncle Iroh, he has a lot of regrets to work through regarding that matter. Zuko looks down and adjusts the teapot, scooting closer to you after noticing your small shivers.

“You remind me of myself in a lot of ways.” You said, still taking in your surroundings. Zuko didn’t understand the statement, that was clear on his face when you glanced over to him, not realizing you’re start to lean towards his warm arm. “For an assortment of reasons.” You start to explain. “You always come off as super grumpy and quiet, but you’ve never seemed grumpy to me. Earlier you were the only one to notice I was sore. It felt amazing and honestly I was just grateful you didn’t make a scene about it.” Zuko thinks on this for a bit, realizing that the angelic demeanor you have is a facade, this was (Y/N), and outside of maybe your brother it seems like he’s the only one you’ve shown your true self to. Regardless of the reason, Zuko smiles softly.

Now realizing your arm is leaning up against his. “Great Spirits you’re warm!” You cover your mouth realizing how loud that might’ve been. You chuckle.

Zuko laughed quietly and leaned back into your arm, “Fire Bending perks.” He said, he felt embarrassed touching you earlier but for you to say it felt amazing? He blushed hard thinking about it, grateful for the night sky.

“I knew it.” You murmur playfully as you sip your tea.

You pull back from Zuko’s warmth to stretch, groaning.

He hesitates to ask, “Does it hurt?” He wants to touch you, maybe this fire in him is good for something.

You sit back next to him, maybe a little closer than before. Trying to consume his extra heat, “Of course it hurts, but the pain isn’t something to be bitter over.” You bump his leg with your knee at the comment.

Hesitantly he moves the arm pressing against you and leans on it now close behind you. Your arm now touching the side of his abdomen and his arm touching your back, with his hand on the floor. He doesn’t respond. You lean into his side thinking, “Yes, it was a terrible thing that happened to me, but there’s no changing it and the pain is temporary. Why should I be bitter about it? That only makes the aggressor look powerful.” You know you both have terrible scars, yes yours is bigger but yours isn’t on your face. You thought to yourself. “Those who attack people smaller or weaker than themselves are nothing but cowards.” You mumble. Zuko leans his side into you, as a sort of silent response. You stayed like this for sometime before deciding his warmth is making you sleepy. “Has anyone ever told you, you make people sleepy?” You yawn at him.

A smirk raises to one side of his mouth, “Just once,” Remembering your face nuzzling into his lap the night you collapsed.

You raise an eyebrow but don’t question him, you smile though. “Well here’s a second, your natural warmth is cozy and I’m getting sleepy.” You got up to head to your room, when Zuko gently grabs your bandage covered fingers.

“I-uh, usually have a hard time sleeping,” He admits. “If you ever have a hard time sleeping you can come sit with me.” He was looking at your hands sadly, as if they received the worse kind of treatment.

You giggle, knowing you’re always out here before him. You squat down to his level from standing and give him a soft smile, “I naturally don’t sleep much so you can always come get me if you’re lonely.” You squeeze the hand that’s still holding your fingers before making your way to your room. Your skin is buzzing from where his heat once was. “You know where to find me.” You flick your hand up in a lazy peace sign.

——

At lunch the next day Toph and Sokka were trying to figure out who was the oldest twin. “Seriously, who’s the oldest.” You and Shu move in unison looking from each other to Sokka.

“Yeah! You keep calling each other older or younger! What’s the deal.” Toph pouted next to Shu, as she continued eating.

You twins laughed, “Ancient family secret.” You both said.

“Come on, Toph!” Sokka continues, “One of them has to be lying!” The two started to bicker. Suki and Aang can’t stop laughing from you and Shu doing and saying everything in unison, from blinking to eating. This was something the two of you had perfected at a very young age.

You and Shu glance at Aang, “You okay, Sifu Twinkle Toes?” You both go, the room erupted in laughter.

——

The days continued like this. Aang would give you something to practice, you started training with Toph or Katara. Shu and Toph started to trade training tips on metal and magma bending or would practice sand bending together on the beach. You had your healing sessions and a bath afterwards and once the sun was down and everyone was off to bed you started spending your evenings with Zuko.

You always seem to be waiting for him, you decided rather than staying awake in your room to just sit on the patio. Part of you didn’t want to wait to see if Zuko would actually come find you. You heard him walk up on cue, “Tonight’s tea is chamomile.” You say tilting your head towards him. He wore just a shirt and loose shorts, you imagine these are his pajamas.

He smiled and sat in the same position he had the night prior, arm around your back hand on the floor and the side of his abdomen pressing firmly against you. You poured him a cup this time. The two of you would talk for sometime before retiring to bed.

——

One night Zuko found his way to the patio and you weren’t there, he waited where he usually sat with you for some time before he realized the tea pot was gone. He walked to your room, lightly knocking before opening the door. You weren’t there. A sort of panic washed over him, he decided to look around for you before alerting anyone you were gone. Zuko walked down to the beach when he found foot prints, a sigh of relief left him when he found you sitting in the sand. Knees pulled to your chest, face down, cold tea pot and cup sitting next to you. He watched you for sometime before deciding to walk up. “So this is where you’ve been.”

A small sniffle comes out as you wipe your face, “Ah- Yeah.. Sorry..” You force an awkward chuckle. “I didn’t mean to worry you.” You didn’t look at him, he wasn’t sure you were looking at anything when you finished wiping your eyes.

Zuko sat down beside you, he wasn’t good at comforting people. He tried to think of something his uncle would say if he knew you. “My uncle told me once, that sometimes the best way to solve your own problems is to help someone else.” He spoke quietly, not really sure how to help. “I don’t really know how to comfort people but if there’s anything you need, you can ask..”

A small smile made its way to your face, you were pretty sure he had no idea what that statement meant. “I just uh-“ You looked up at the sky, “I feel guilty. And shameful.” You mutter. You could tell he was confused by this statement but you didn’t say anything for sometime. “You heard my families history, Jesa had an excuse. Sure it wasn’t a good excuse but..” You trailed on. Your voice was getting louder and more shaken with every word. “I was always so ashamed of my bending because it put my family in danger. I was ashamed that my family didn’t fight to defend the air nomads!” The air started stirring aggressively around the two of you. Tears started bubbling up in your eyes again and you pushed yourself from the ground. Zuko grabbed at your hand. You roared at the ocean in front of you, tears streaming freely down your cheeks, bending so much force in frustration waves flew up high before crashing down as you fell on your knees in front of Zuko.

His eyes wide, jaw slacked at the raw power you possessed. He’s never seen Aang use his air bending in such an aggressive manner. You were squeezing his hand, this pulled his attention from what you had just done. He squeezed your hand back before gently pulling on it, coercing you to come closer. You did, you ended up in his lap. You were between his legs that wrapped around you, your knees pulled up, leaning your side and head against his chest. He wrapped both arms around your waist and rested his chin your head. Zuko hushed you until you calmed, and the air around you two had settled into the stale ocean breeze.

His warmth calmed you, he didn’t have to say anything. You’re frustrated with yourself, you didn’t realize you’d bottled up so much. You buried your face into Zuko’s chest, “I feel guilty for being..-“ You hesitated, “For being so happy. Knowing my people have been eradicated.” This stings Zuko’s heart and he just holds you tighter.

Zuko’s history plays through his head, finally understanding what you had meant the other night. ‘You remind me a lot of myself’ you told him. He tilted his head down, pressing his nose and mouth against the top of your head. “Maybe that’s why your family made it. Because of what-“ He thinks of how to put it, “the Fire Nation did to your people. So that you could be happy, so that you could be here and build your people up again when this horrible war ends.” He didn’t know, but you were quiet.

You moved and held onto his bicep that rested between your thighs and bust, you’re both tired and wide awake now. (Y/N) never thought about it that way. That maybe being here, after everything, was your destiny and not just a selfish desire. You squeeze his arm softly, “Thank you, Zuko.” You mumble.

Neither of you said anything for the rest of the night. Not when Zuko heated up the tea pot and your glass, not about you staying in his lap. You both had the nights events and words playing in your head. Zuko realized what his uncle told him was right. Zuko told you what he needed to hear.

——

Zuko was always the last to sleep and the first awake, these were old habits he couldn’t break. However he didn’t mind it so much since (Y/N) has been around, you’re like him. Last to sleep first to rise, at first it was a constant surprise as you’d daze around the kitchen making tea at dawn. Your pajamas leaving very little to the imagination. A short but loose fitting top and loose shorts. Your bandages helped him not look like a bigger fool than he felt he already was. You never teased him about it though, you always just offered a smile. This house was starting to feel like a home again. The early mornings and the evenings were becoming his favorite time, these were times when you were yourself and when you leaned on him. You did this more than he mentally prepared himself for, the first time you did it was when Zuko was preparing tea for the morning, you lazily made your way into the kitchen and poked around him realizing he was doing what you had planned to start. You ended up leaning against his back while holding on to the edge of his shirt and commenting about the warmth before moving to pour yourself a glass of tea. The mornings that followed that one he started to notice you’d seek him out in a tired stupor. Clinging onto him regardless of what he’s doing, warming yourself up for the day, before making yourself a glass of tea and walking off.

He’d watch your beautiful figure laze around with your tea until you found the patio and sat down. You always manage to look back at him with your bedroom eyes expectantly. This always causes him to blush but he makes his way over and sits with you. He’ll watch you from the corner of his eye as you start to wake up.

He missed your presence during his training sessions but was always able to catch a glimpse as you train with one of the girls. Your control over your bending was exceedingly better than it had been when you first met.

“So. Sifu ‘hot water bottle’” A voice says mockingly. Zuko scowls and tears his attention from you and turns around to see Shu. His expression quickly dropped, not wanting to get on your brothers bad side.

“Uh, hey Shu.” Zuko says nervously, “What’s up?” He starts rubbing the back of his neck trying to temporarily purge what happened at the beach from his mind, you letting him wrap you up in his arms and lap was engraved in him. Shu waves him over to follow him.

He follows him until they’re out of your line of sight, “If you like my sister you’re going to have to fight me first.” Shu states pointedly and crosses his arms.

“Wait-wait. What??” Zuko throws up his hands, “I don’t want to fight you, we’re uh,” He stops at the word but shakes his head. “We’re friends, sparring is one thing but I can’t just fight you.”

Your brother flares at him and slides his foot, bending just enough earth under Zuko to knock him down. “I’m not just going to hand my sister, whose like,” He throws his hands up. “An international secret! To someone who can’t protect her!” Shu hisses. This is fair.

His glare drops and he offers a hand to help Zuko up, confused at the quick demeanor change until he hears you talking to Katara and walk past the scene. “Think about it.” Shu quietly hisses before walking away. Zuko stood there dumbfounded for quite some time.

“Your healing session today will be the last for your arms,” Katara tell you. “Your back will take some time but unless the wound gets struck again you shouldn’t have to worry about it opening on its own.” This was the best news you’ve had in some time. You can start actually exercising again.

That night, Zuko was the first to the patio. You stared at him for a bit, something about the moonlight hitting him makes your stomach flop about. You finally walk towards him, realizing he looks uncomfortable. “You okay?” You ask as you sit down beside him.

He looks over at you, he doesn’t say anything but just stares. Examining the lack of bandages on your arms and the concern in your face before speaking. “I’m trying to take all the right steps to make right all the wrongs I’ve done.” He looks away.

You keep looking at him, the gaang has already told you about their history with Zuko when you and Shu asked them how Team Avatar came to be. Zuko hands you a cup of tea before continuing, “I did some- a lot.. of awful things that I can’t take back. I can’t even apologize to my uncle for betraying him.” This statement causes Zuko to put his face in his hands. “He probably hates me now.”

That statement stings you, you’ve only ever seen the Team Avatar version of Zuko. You hesitate but decide to put your hand on his back, running your hand up and down his spine, making shapes with your fingers. “That might be true,” He flinched at this comment. “However. If you can get a group of people you literally tried to kill, to actually like and appreciate you and to care about you. I doubt it’ll be too difficult to get someone who’s always loved you to forgive your actions.” You smile and lean your head on his shoulder still rubbing his back. “From what you’ve told me and what I’ve heard from the others I can imagine he’ll be so proud of you for doing the right thing.”

Zuko doesn’t reply for sometime, replaying the words in his head. Replaying what he told you at the beach. He did do the right thing, he has changed. But what if it’s too late, he wants to ask but he already feels foolish for his actions. He lifts his head and looks over at you before resting his cheek on your head. “You don’t think it’ll be too late to apologize?”

You straighten up and smile at him, and cup his face with your hands. “If you truly mean it when you apologize then it’ll never be too late.” You leave a small kiss on his cheek and then smile at him. Zuko pulls you into him, holding one hand firmly around your shoulders and one around your waist. This caused you to gasp but he doesn’t let go. He needs this, you think. Hugging him back with your arms around his neck and a hand brushing his hair with your fingers till he’s ready to let go.

As much as he needed a hug the second he hugged you he was extremely embarrassed. Embarrassed that he wanted to pull you into his lap again and not let go. Especially after you kissed his cheek. He feared letting go as you would see his blushing face. Not realizing you can feel his blush as his body temperature rose. It wasn’t until you held him back and pet his hair that he started to savor the moment, engraving it in his mind before letting go and looking at the sky. You watched him carefully, you wanted to kiss him more and find all the reasons as to why everything would be fine. “Your brother told me I have to fight him.” Your face snapped away from his, you knew what this meant, but why would Shu say that to Zuko? Why wouldn’t he talk to you first? Did he tell Zuko how you feel? You were panicking.

(Y/N)’s ear are red, Zuko noticed. She seems embarrassed. Was she embarrassed of Zuko? Was it her brother? Or something else? He couldn’t get a read from you, “D-Did he say anything, ah,” You started. “About me, uh, when he did..?” You couldn’t make eye contact with him.

His face turned bright red, yes the whole thing was about you! He’s thinks your embarrassed about your brothers actions. “Well, ah,” he stammers, “I kind of, uhm, brought it upon myself.” You both look away from each other. “He told me to think about it.”

You sigh putting your red face in your hands, “I am so sorry.” You groan. Embarrassed that you thought this was about you.

“No no it’s not your fault!” He stammers, “We should uh, we should head to bed.” You nod at him and take the hand he offers to get up.

Your fingers touch his as he walks you to your room, “Uhm. Good night Zuko.” You smile and whisper to him as you separate, he watches you as you disappear behind your door. He wants to follow you in, realizing what you mean to him.

When he got to his room he closed and slid down the door. “Good night, (Y/N).” He sighed, “What am I going to do.”

——

A/N:  Holy smokes, guys! We made it through Part 1! If you’d like to be tagged in this series please feel free to message me or comment on this post! Here are my starred notes: (*1) Imagine that customer service face we all have, you know the one (*2) When I wrote this line for Aang it ended up destroying my whole plan for the rest of this scene because I was like “Shit Aang would actually say something like that” (*3) Did you know river rocks explode when they get too hot?

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