#and like again i get that her methods were actually hurtful but SHE COULDNT SEE THAT

[avasnotalee]

hiiiiii i made another terrible miraculous t-word fic lol

Word Count: 1383

Ship: MariChat

Switch!Mari Switch!Chat Noir

It was yet another night of waiting on a desertedrooftop for Chat Noir, as he waited for Ladybug. Although he knew she was busy being the new guardian of the miraculous, he couldnt help but wish his partner were there with him. Chat missed the nights they shared, when they leaped from building to building; making sure everything was in order. He missed the jokes and remarks they exhnaged.. he missed it all. Then he thought of the most hurtful time he had been stood up by Ladybug, and how he went to Marinette’s place. He had begun to go there more frequently on the days he was left to patrol himself, as marinette was good company, although he could never stay there for very long.

As everything in Paris seemed in order, Chat Noir made his way to the rooftop of the Dupain-Cheng family’s bakery. With a knock on the little trap door, Marinette popped up to answer it. Before Chat had came, she was very busy learing about her new responsibilities as the guardian, but thankfully she had her new kwami friends to help her through the journey. Those new friends of course, had to hide in marinette’s miracle box, which the box itself was safely hidden in a pink dollhouse on her desk.

“Oh, um- hey Chat!” Marinette exclaimed nervously, she was not prepared for his presence, as she was deep into her studies.

“Hey Marinette, Ladybug didnt show for patrol again tonight, and I was wandering if I could hang with you a while to feel less lonely?”

“Yeah! Of course, come on in.”

Suddenly, it hit marinette like a brick that she still had all of her pictures of Adrien up in her room! (not that it mattered, becuase they were for research purposes only, right?)

“wAIT- hold on my room is uhhh- a little messy.. um.. yeah! wait here for a minute.”

suddenly, the trap door was closed in Chats face.

“Shes a terrible liar” Chat thought to himself

“What is she hiding?”

Marinette came back with a nervous smile plastered across her face

“Okay all clean like a bug in a rug! super sparkely- nice haha..”

“Are you okay mari?”

“Oh me? what? pshhh yeah im great”

“ooookay then”

Chat noir climed down the steps into Marinettes vibrant room

“Soooooo what are you really hiding from me?”

“Me? Hiding? Something? I have no secrets from you Chat Noir” Marinette nervously giggled

“Are you suuuuuure?” Chat teased, lightly poking her in the side

A high pitched squeal escaped mari’s lips, causing chat noir to give her a smug look of suspision

“Oh now theres defintley something youve never told me before”

“I have no idea what youre talking about”

“that youre actually pretty sensitive, huh purr-incess?” The blonde teen smirked

“I um.. no-“

without giving Marinette a chance to defend herself, Chat Noir tackled the poor girl to the ground

“cmon chat, were not 5 years old”

“well too bad there is nothing you can do about it” he grinned, pinning marinette at the wrists above her head. Chat proceeded to take his free hand, and start spidering her helpless midsection

Marinette began to buck and squirm “come ohohohon chat noir hahaha” she pleaded

“this is the most convenient way for me to get information out of you, isnt it marinette?”

“nohohohoho theres nothing to hide hahahaha”

“I know how to get you to tell me”

Chat began to dig and wiggle his thin fingers into her underarms

“PLEHEHEHEASE CHAT NOIR NAHAHAHA” Marinette threw her head back in laughter, with her legs kicking out in front

“Please what? Keep going? Sure I will!”

“ILL GET YOU SOHOHOME FOOD FROHOHOM THE BAKERY PLEAHEHEASE STOHOHOHOP!”

Chat Noir let up his fingers to think about the deal

“hmm I could go for a macaroon right about now. I’ll set you free, but the macaroon has to be grapefruit.”

Marinette lay on the ground panting “fine, I’ll get you your grapefruit macaroon.”

She got up to get the treat, and as she quietly went down the stairs, it struck Chat Noir that he may be able to find what she was hiding while she was gone.

Chat looked everywhere, but couldnt find anything interesting. Just as he was about to give up, he noticed a diary free on marinettes desk. As soon as he was able to walk over, he could hear marinette coming up the stairs. He quickly grabbed the book but didnt get the chance to open it.

Marinette walked into her room to see Chat Noir standing very awkwardly, with his hands behind his back.

“Um, Chat? What do you have?”

“Nothing. Why do you ask?”

“Obviously becuase youre hiding something behind you.”

“No I’m not, I’m just respectfullly holding my hands behind my back. Did you get the macaroon?”

“Of course I did” Marinette extended her hand to give him the macaroon. Although the grapefruit macaroon that she makes weekly was reserved for adrien, she considered making another one another time would be worth it to get out of Chat Noir’s Claws

As he went to grab his snack, Mari realized his other hand was still behind his back. He was definitley hiding something.

“Chaaaaaaat, what do you have?”

“I already told you, I dont have anything.”

Marinette ran behind Chat, and got a glimpse of her diary just before he was able to turn around. He shoved the whole macaroon in his mouth, then held the book high above her head, just out of reach.

“Hey! I need that!” Marinette whined, jumping to get her diary back.

“You didnt read anything in it did you!?”

“Not yet”

“I really need that back chat”

“onlly if you can reach it first”

of course Mari couldnt reach it. She defintiley wasnt short, but she was not near as tall as Chat Noir. She remebered once when she had tickle_ him as Ladybug, so it was definitley one of his weaknesses. If she couldnt reach, shed need to use another method to get back the holder of all her deepest secrets

Marinette scribbled Chat Noir’s underarms, causing him to pull his arms down to protect his sensitive spots

“H-Hey! You cant just- nahaha” He then dropped the book and Marinette put it back in her super safe box for it.

“Now its payback time!”

“What- why? nO-“

Marinette then tackled the flustered cat “Why not? Dont tell me youre ticklish Chat

Noir!” Of course she already knew the answer, but seeing him turn all red and shy about it was just too cute to miss out on.

“God I hate that word. I hate even saying it out loud.”

“aweee but its such a presious word! tickle tickle tickle kittyyyy”

Marinette began to teasingly poke Chat Noir’s sides, and watched as he started to panic

“no mari wait- nohohoho you cahahant just nahaha” he tried to push her hands off his torso, but he was already weak with laughter

“poor ticklish chat, having your weakness used against you and Ladybug isnt even here to help.” She cooed, spidering his tummy

“noHohO I- plehehease I cahahahant! hahaha” Now he was the one pinned with his legs kicking beneath marinette being straddled on top of him

“dont let any akumatized villans find out about your little secret, itd be over for you within 30 seconds! Escpecially around your your hips~”

“hohohow did you- AHAHAHAHA MARI IM GONNA DIIIIHIHIE AHAHAHAHA!”

Chat thrusted and bucked in attempt to get the strong girl off of him, but it was practically useless as he was rendered imobile given his situation.

“MARI HAHAHHAHA I CAHAHAHANT!”

“Ill tell you what kitty, if you say the word tickle, I’ll let you go.”

“BUHUHUT I CAHAHAHANT NAHAHAHA!”

“its such an easy word to say, if you refuse to say it, im just gonna assume that you must like being tickled”

“NOHOHOHOHO I DOHOHOHONT”

“then say it.” Mari grinned down at him

“TIHIHIHIHI NAHAHAHAHA” Chat Noir’s laughter went silent

“okay fine you were close enough” she sat on the floor next to him and played with his hair as he still giggled out the phantom tickles

“youre sure protective of that book arehehent you?”

“eh, it was mostly just an excuse for me to get you back.”

“thats so mean.”

ty for reading! If you have any story requests pls send lols

#miraculous tickles #tickle #miraculous ladybug #mlb tickling #mlb tickles #tickling #t-words #im cry this took way too long for how it turned out wtf #marichat asf tho

[witchcraft-in-wonderland]

Strangers (Pt.4)

-------------------------

Virgil was absolutely terrified of being left alone, an empty house felt almost like a death sentence for him. But he endured it out of the simple fact that he was either allergic to or afraid of most animals.

He felt guilty sometimes, about not working, felt as if he were placing all the responsibility on Romulus while having little to none of his own.

Of course Romulus didnt seem to care, but after last night, Virgil was all to nervous about his husband being so eager to return to work.

And to add on to Virgil's fear of a lonely household, it seemed almost as if he wasnt quite alone anymore.

He couldve sworn the curtains moved when they werent supposed to, couldve almost guaranteed that something had brushed them just so.

But everytime he looked, they seemed perfectly in place, not a single misplaced shadow or cloth.

So Virgil had just resigned himself to the fact that he was merely a large dog with separation anxiety and everything would be fixed as soon as Romulus got home.

Which was, as Virgil's luck preceded him, five hours later than it should have been.

"Romulus! What took you so long? Are you hurt? Why didnt you call? I've been worried sick! You couldve-" Virgil was cut off by the feeling of Romulus' lips on his, he sunk into it like a desperate man clinging to a lifeboat.

"I'm alright songbird, I merely went to visit the carnival with some inquires about the necklaces," said Romulus as he broke the kiss.

"And what did they say?" Replied Virgil, tilting his head.

"They said theres no refunds and nothing to worry about as its impossible to get cursed objects through security," Romulus answered.

Virgil stared at him for a few moments.

"I- suppose that is an answer-" Virgil said finally, rubbing his arm.

"Is something wrong songbird? Or have you just missed me so?~" Romulus said, a slight purr to his voice.

"Just missed you. . ." Virgil said quietly.

"Well I'll only be a few moments, I need to make you something, you like dreadfully hungry my sweet somgbird," said Romulus, rushing off to the kitchen, and once again leaving Virgil alone in the living room.

Virgil let out a resigned sigh and returned to the couch, picking at the loose strings on his sweater until Romulus had returned with a glass of something Virgil couldnt see.

"What's that?" Virgil asked, trying to get a better look. Romulus brought the cup away from him.

"Something new for you to try, now close your eyes," Romulus said, Virgil did as told, and was met with the most disgusting taste he was sure he'd ever encountered.

"Augh- what is that?-" Virgil said with a gag.

"My new method of tricking you into actually taking your meds," said Romulus.

"Well its disgusting! I think your plane backfired!" Virgil said, still not bothering to open his eyes.

"Just give it a moment, the taste doesnt last to long," said Romulus, Virgil felt arms around his waist and felt himself pulled backwards against Romulus' chest. Sure enough, the bitter taste soon dissipated into a more sweet one.

"Better?" Romulus said, burying his head in the crook of Virgil's neck.

"Much," Virgil answered, smiling.

"Are you going to open your eyes little songbird or am I to assume theyve been glued shut?" Said Romulus, something in hi voice sounded a little to hopeful. But when Virgil opened his eyes he looked perfectly normal, no odd expressions in sight.

"There they are, absolutely perfect," Romulus said, smiling. Virgil blushed slightly and made an attempt to hide his face, only for Ronulus to grab his wrists and pull his hands away.

"Dont hide them, itd be a shame for something so nice to look at to be hidden with such shame," he said, pressing another kiss to Virgil's forehead.

"You are such a cheesy little flirt arent you," Virgil responded, giggling.

"I dont quite see the problem," Romulus chuckled.

They sat in silence for a while before Virgil finally spoke up again.

"I think the house might be haunted," Virgil winced as the hand Romulus had been using to run through his hair suddenly made a sharp tug.

"Sorry songbird- you caught me off guard, but what makes you think that?" Romulus gave Virgil yet another soft kiss, this one on the back of his neck.

"It just doesnt feel- quite as empty as usual- and it feels like things move when they shouldnt be," Virgil said quietly.

"Perhaps the neighbors cats have decided to move house," Romulus said with a laugh.

"Dont mock me. . ." Virgil said quietly.

"Oh I didnt mean to upset you songbird, is it making you feel unsafe?" Romulus said softly.

"Not right now I suppose. . ." Virgil responded.

"Well if it does I'll investigate further, in the mean time I think it's best for you to get some rest," said Romulus. Virgil merely nodded and began to drift off.

It was fairly difficult to stay asleep, though. Virgil's dreams were once again plagued with axes and murder and betrayal, and he couldve sworn he'd seen Romulus there somewhere, only he looked different, and he was with a girl.

This girl ended up being a figure that showed up very often in his dream that night. With long black hair and equally dark lips. Her first appearance seemed to take place at a tavern, where she sang to a number of people.

The scenes then cut to the girl sitting backstage with a number of men, only one of which she seemed focused on, a man with eyes of charcoal and hair of almost rust-colored quality.

The scene then shifted to that of a grand palace, only it seemed more like a dungeon, the girl was crying, begging for freedom.

I'm sorry my songbird, I cannot give you what you wish, you must be my queen, or you must face consequences

Virgil woke up cold and shaking, holding his arms and feeling on the verge of tears.

He didnt sleep the rest of that night.

If he had his way, he wouldnt have to see those same lilac eyes that revealed themselves in mirrors, ever again at night.

----------------------------------------------

Tag list:

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@coffeeoverdosedshipper

#cori writes #strangers au #ts virgil #ts romulus #ts pride roman #tw toxic relationship #tw kidnapping #tw abuse #tw manipulation #tw gaslighting #pridexiety #tw nightmares

[handonshipper]

A Twist Through Time: Chapter Three

Several hours later, the group had finally arrived in Mystic Falls. Hope had been sketching a couple of landscapes while they drove. It was pretty great, considering the fact she was in a car with regular pencils instead of artistic pencils. She wanted to talk her father. Or tell Dr. Saltzman. But Dr. Saltzman didnt even have much experience at this point. And telling her father wouldnt get her anywhere. 

Klaus parked the car in front of his mansion in Mystic Falls and stepped out of the car, opening the passenger door for Hope, as he had made Rebekah sit in the back to watch Stefan. “You are a quiet one aren’t you?” He questioned looking at Hope. “Here I thought we could have bonded over your lovely torture ideas.” He smirked. 

"I was busy sketching" Hope said, climbing out of the car, holding her sketchbook as she looked around and stepped away from the car. She wondered if her dad, as she knew him, would be proud of her trying not to change things. Not that she was doing a good job of that. "I prefer painting personally, but I sketch sometimes" she told him, holding the sketchbook. Her mind was turning as she thought about some parts of her life. The life she was forced to leave for the second time. 

Rebekah got out of the car and dragged Stefan out forcefully. She was frustrated. Both with Stefan's betrayal and Klaus putting her in the backseat while the witch got the front seat. 

Klaus looked at her curiously. What were the odds? He never truly met anyone else who was interested in art, which was why, for a moment, he was distracted from his vengeful thoughts and the plan to get the necklace. “As do I. Prefer painting I mean.” He said softly. “I mainly only sketch to plan out future paintings.” He wanted to say more, but as Rebekah spoke he was snapped out of his thoughts.

"So what's the plan, Nik? Did you plan to search for the necklace or should i?" Rebekah questioned, wanting both her necklace and to find out what was Stefan Salvatore's big secret.

“I will. And I will take Hope with me. Seeing as Mystic Falls has the very obnoxious Bonnie Bennett, it is only fair I have much more powerful witch with me as well.” He then looked at Stefan and stepped closer to him so he could compel him.  

Hope smiled a little at that before it disappeared, her mind going to the first time she had painted with him. The only time.... The first day she had met him. 

Stefan almost instinctively took a step back, but he knew it was no use. This was his punishment. And Klaus was faster and much more powerful. 

Klaus stepped closer to him. While on the outside he portrayed a smug expression, inside he truthfully just wanted Stefan to hurt after betraying him. As he look into his eyes, he spoke calmly. “Turn off your humanity. And do as I say, until I demand otherwise.” 

Elena wasn't there to help him fight it this time around. His pained eyes closed, and when he opened them again a moment later, his humanity was off. He felt free yet restrained at the same time. Restrained by his tie to what Klaus wanted and free from the guilt and the pain and the worry. 

Hope watched, feeling a bit guilty but knowing it had to be done. Everything had to happen as close as possible. Otherwise the whole future could change. And as much as the future sucked in some areas for her, she couldnt risk it getting worse. She needed to ensure she would be born. And so would the twins. 

She needed to get back to Landon. 

Klaus smirked as he watched Stefan let go of the little bit of humanity he had left when he compelled him. “Well then. Now that we have that sorted, come along Hope. Let’s find that necklace.” He settled and looked over at Rebekah. “Babysit Stefan will you? I have important matters to tend to and anyone else will simply get in the way.” 

Rebekah scowled at that and nodded, holding back remarks, before nearly dragging Stefan into the house. "Come on, Stefan" she said. Stefan chuckled softly and followed her inside. Not that he had much of a choice. She was strong. 

Hope watched them go before looking at Klaus. "Alright. Let's go then" 

Klaus watched the two in satisfaction before turning his attention back to Hope. “Right. What exactly happened when you performed the spell?” He asked curiously, wanting to get an idea on where to start looking. 

"I saw two teenage girls" Hope said, looking at Klaus. "They were both brunettes. One was black and the other had olive totoned skin. They were talking about Stefan and wondering what bad things he was doing while off with you under your influence" 

 Klaus frowned at the description of the second teenager but didn’t think too much of it. He knew Elena Gilbert was dead and Katerina took off after he let her go. “Right. Well, let’s start with the local witch, Bonnie Bennett. With the right torture methods, anyone can be made agreeable.” He smirked. 

"I dont usually torture people in my spare time." Hope said casually. "I did torture my ex boyfriend once though" She looked at Klaus. "A truth spell is always handy too. I could do one on Stefan to have him tell us who exactly he knows that has the necklace."

It wasnt much of a difference than Klaus suddenly finding Elena at least. And she wanted him to know she was on his side. He was her father after all. She loved him. Suddenly a thought occurred to her.

"While I'm trying to figure out the spell that brought me to Stefan's apartment, I plan on helping you" she said, looking at him. "And I'm not necessarily asking for anything in return. Except maybe a place to stay while I try to figure out the spell. But there is something I am looking for. A magical object. If you dont want to help me find one, I get it. I'm not only agreeing to help you if I get it. But I would appreciate it. It's a prism that lets someone talk to their subconsious. If you've ever seen or heard of one" 

Klaus felt a frown forming the more he listened to her. Ever since he met her there had been something off about her. Something he couldn’t quite place. Right now she was essentially trying to tell him how to do things, and instead of ripping her heart out, some minuscule part of him actually wanted to listen. 

Granted he ignored that part, but the fact that it was there in the first place troubled him. “I have no objection to you staying in this house. I won’t be here for a while once I find the necklace anyway. As for your magical object, I may have heard whispers of something like that. However, I cannot say I’ve come across one. Still, I see no harm in assisting you with it in my spare time. You might just be the only witch in existence who’s presence I can actually tolerate.” He snorted. “In regards to the necklace...I never said you had to partake in torture. Though it is my preferred method of interrogation.” He smirked and looked towards the house. “Especially to those who have betrayed me. Thank you for suggesting I begin with Stefan.” 

She couldnt help the small smile that formed on her face as he mentioned that he could tolerate her. Considering he didnt know her or the fact he had a child, this was touching. She knew he hadn't been fond of witches before, only using them when he needed them.

"Thank you" Hope said once he finished speaking. She really just wanted it to feel less alone here. To talk to Landon, even if it is fake. "As for the topic of betrayal, it isnt something I take lightly. The ex boyfriend I mentioned? He lured me into a trap that caused the death of my mother" She wasnt holding a grudge against him anymore. She knew it wasnt his fault. He had been brainwashed by his Nazi vampire mother. But....at the time, the betrayal had affected her strongly. So much she had closed herself off even more.

Klaus’ expression softened for a split second before it quickly returned back to normal. Sympathy and pity weren’t emotions he normally experienced, certainly not to total strangers. “My condolences then. 

For your mother. I am glad you got your revenge against that man. It may not bring her back, but at least you have the satisfaction of looking back and knowing you gave him hell just as well.” He said simply. He was silent for a few seconds, and eventually spoke again. “The necklace I am searching for is to communicate with my mother. When I was young she placed a curse on me. And now that I’ve broken it, there are certain aspects of it that aren’t exactly as they should be.”

Hope listened to him and nodded. "Thank you for telling me" she said, appreciating the information even though she already figured that out. "I will do what I can to help you figure out why things arent as they should be" Hope said softly

Klaus gave her a nod, truly surprised a stranger was willing to pledge her loyalty to him so easily while his own siblings were not. “I suppose I should thank you as well. For your assistance. It isn’t easy for anyone to do that when it comes to me. Certainly not witches. I am what the entirety of the world calls an abomination. A hybrid. Both werewolf and vampire.” 

"You're not an abomination. You're different. You're unique. But that doesnt have to be a bad thing." 

Hope said, thinking of what her mother had told her once or twice in the past. 

Klaus blinked slowly, genuine surprise clouding his features for a moment until a small, but genuine smile formed on his lips. It disappeared just as quickly, but it had been there. “I suppose I’ve never quite heard that. Especially given the fact that the curse my mother placed on me was to keep my werewolf side dormant. Now that I’ve broken it, I want nothing more than to create more of my kind. In a way...it is my revenge towards her.” At least that was part of it. The other part being of course that he didn’t wish to be alone. But he chose not to say that. 

Hope nodded at his words. She knew how it felt to be the only one of her species. She knew it felt lonely at times. Like your existence was a mistake. A random chance. And it didnt help that the witches think neither her or her father should exist

More so her than her father. "I can't even imagine what that must have been like for you, having part of yourself locked up inside." And to think she nearly let it happen to herself. 

Klaus shifted his gaze away from her and nodded. “It feels like...” He sighed softly. “Like being chained up in the smallest of cages. The more you struggle, the harder they grip at you, all while the cell closes in tighter and tighter.” He explained quietly, never having been that open with anyone about it. “It’s impossible to understand unless you have been through it, but that is the best way I can explain it. Just imagine how you would feel if your magic was suddenly taken from you. Knowing you are a witch, yet not being able to perform a single spell.” 

Hope nodded a little at that, frowning at the mere thought of her father going through it. "And you've suffered with that for a thousand years?" She said quietly. 

Klaus nodded in confirmation and slowly looked back at her. “Yes. Just a little over a thousand years. I finally broke it recently. However, when I attempted to turn werewolves into hybrids, they only died. 

Seeing as my mother created the curse, I figure she must have the answers as to why it is failing.” 

"Well, we should go find the necklace then" Hope said, looking at him, knowing they had gotten distracted from the goal by their personal talk

Klaus nodded, slowly coming back to reality. “Right. I suppose you performing that truth spell on Stefan would get us the answer quicker. I can always torture him later.”

Hope nodded and went inside the house. She went over to Stefan and casted the truth. "Did you give Rebekah's necklace to anyone?"

Stefan looked at Hope. "Yes" he said.

"Who did you give it to?" Hope questioned.

"Elena Gilbert" The vampire answered.

Klaus followed Hope into the house and watched as she performed the spell. When he heard the answer Stefan gave he blinked in surprise. “Elena Gilbert is alive?” He smirked. “Ah. Suddenly it all makes sense. 

Why you wanted to keep me away from finding the necklace.” He chuckled in disbelief. “No matter. 

Now I get to kill her twice. Luckily for me, you no longer care.”

"Wait" Hope said, looking over at Klaus. "We should find the necklace and communicate with your mother first. That should remain our priority" Especially since Elena surviving was crucial.

Klaus frowned when he heard Hope speak. Instantly his paranoid self wanted to get the best of him, but he did his best to push that feeling away. So far Hope had proven she was on his side. And he did need to get the necklace. “Fine. Though after that, I’m having Stefan rip out her heart himself.” He muttered before heading out of the house. 

Hope glanced over at Stefan before following Klaus out of the house. "Alright. So if Elena has the necklace, where would she be?" 

  “We can check her house first.” Klaus suggested knowing even if he didn’t find her there, he could always get her there by using her family. They were her weakness. Something he learned when he first met her. 

Hope nodded at his words. "Alright then. Let's go" she said, looking over at him. "Lead the way"

Klaus nodded and held out his hand to her. “We will get there faster using vampire speed.” At this point all he wanted was to get the necklace. He could leave torturing both Elena and Stefan for later.

"Alright." She said softly. Hope nodded and took his hand without hesitation, something that was unusual for Klaus. She clearly trusted him.

Klaus blinked when Hope suddenly took his hand. He stared at her, both confused and shocked for a second, not really knowing what to say. Eventually he decided his questions would have to wait. Right now finding the necklace was more important. Which was why he held her hand firmly and sped over to Elena Gilbert’s house. 

#vampire diaries #tvd #legacies season 2 #legacies cw #cw legacies #legacies #hope mikaelson #klaus mikaelson #stefan salvatore #rebekah mikaelson #a twist through time #a twist through time chapter three #chapter three

[ohmyprodigalson]

Can I get a fic where the reader is able to see straight through Martin's big plan as soon as Jin gets stabbed, and it turns out they're also a world class surgeon, so when Jin gets hurt they help him instead of Martin.

This one was so much fun! I did make one change though. I actually used to work in an ER and saw doctors place chest tubes all the time without need of a surgeon. And because I thought it might be weird for Malcolm to date a surgeon because of his dad, I made the reader an ER physician instead. Minor tweak, same idea though!

There aren't really any trigger warnings I can think of for this one.

Spoiler Warning: This story directly references the events and some of the lines in Prodigal Son s01e07.

---------------------------------------------------

It was (Y/N)'s first day off in weeks. She woke from her nap and opened her blackout curtains to let the afternoon sun shine through her bedroom windows. She stretched as she wiped the sleep from her eyes and considered what she would like to do for the day.

(Y/N)'s phone rang, breaking the silence of her post-nap peace. The caller ID said it was Malcolm, and she answered it right away. She answered with a simple, "Hey."

"(Y/N)? I hope I didn't wake you up." His voice was a little shaky, like it sounds when Malcolm is excited about a lead concerning his memories.

"No, I'm awake. What's up?"

"I just found this evidence, a knife in the station wagon I was looking for, and I want to ask my dad about it..."

"Do you want me to go with you?" Lately, Malcolm had been taking (Y/N) with him when he saw his father. She kept him calmer and provided much needed support. She didn't mind either, because it let her see first-hand what mind games Dr. Whitley played with Malcolm so that she could help him reason through them.

"Yes, please." He paused before he spoke again. "Ains is going to be there trying to record her interview, so I'm hoping she'll let me talk to him for a minute."

"I'm sure she will, she knows how important this is to you," (Y/N) said to ease his worries. "I'll get ready and meet you down there, ok?"

"Alright, I'll see you soon."

(Y/N) stood in front of Claremont Psychiatric Hospital with her hands in her coat pockets, her breath forming small clouds as it exited her nose. She was still a little groggy, and she felt like going back to sleep in the warm comfort of her bed. The first day off was always the hardest. She was an ER physician at one of the local hospitals, and she would work night shift for 2 weeks at a time before taking 2 weeks off. Today was her first day off from her last 2 week stint, and her body could feel it.

"(Y/N)!" Malcolm greeted her from the cab he was exiting. He walked up to her with a smile as she reached out to hug him. Afterwards, their smiles fell as they turned to enter the hospital.

They found themselves standing outside of Dr. Whitley's door. Peering inside, they could see Ainsley interviewing him while Jin recorded it all. Malcolm looked at (Y/N) with a straight face before knocking on the door. All three of them looked in Malcolm's direction as he made eye contact with Ainsley. She stopped the interview and came out into the hall to talk to Malcolm while (Y/N) stood quietly to the side. Malcolm explained that he needed to see Dr. Whitley to ask about another serial killer on the loose and after some back and forth she agreed to let them in while her interview was on pause.

They entered the room and Dr. Whitley's glee was palpable. "Well, as I live and breathe! We got ourselves a family reunion!" He was practically beaming at this point.

Malcolm started to talk about why he and (Y/N) were there as she casually stood behind him, motionless and silent, like she wasn't there until she needed to be for Malcolm. He brought up Dr. Whitley's station wagon and the doctor's smile instantly began to fall. Couldn't Malcolm ever come to just see him anymore? Why were all his visits about trips down memory lane?

The father and son talked about the station wagon, the other serial killer, and ultimately the knife Malcolm found before Dr. Whitley stopped the conversation. "Perhaps we should table this for now. Seems like you're taking up all your sister's time. There's only so much Dad to go around." He finished his last sentence with a smile.

"Malcolm? Can... Can I talk to you for a second?" Ainsley asked, nodding towards the door. Malcolm paused for a minute, upset that his father dismissed him so casually when he wanted answers. But he followed his sister outside the room. While they were outside discussing Ainsley's new plan of attack, (Y/N) and Jin stood together in the corner of the room, exchanging pleasantries. Before long, Malocolm and Ainsley returned and the filming resumed.

Ainsley proceeded to air Malocolm's dirty laundry in front of the camera, and what would seemingly be the whole world if these shots made it into the final cut of the interview. The sheer look of defeat and shame on Malcolm's face made (Y/N) see red. She didn't want to say anything while the cameras were rolling, so all she could do was hold Malcolm's trembling hand. When this was over, Ainsley was going to get a piece of her mind. But not before she got a piece of Dr. Whitley's.

He flew out of his chair and pulled hard against the chain in the wall. "I was a good father, damn it!! You say that again!! Say I was a terrible father!!" Urged to calm down by his guard, Mr. David, Dr. Whitley looked around himself and stopped yelling. After hearing Ainsley and Jin quietly confirm that his outburst was caught on camera, Dr. Whitley started to chuckle. "You had a plan. Yeah, it's good to have a plan."

(Y/N), who had been quietly holding Malcolm's hand the whole time, perked up at those words. She squinted at Dr. Whitley, trying to peer into his mind. He was always full of half-truths and he loved allusions. He would not have said those words if they weren't significant. Just as she was questioning Dr. Whitley's potential plan for escape during the interview, sirens started going off.

Everyone looked around themselves in confusion. (Y/N) noticed that Dr. Whitley didn't look surprised.

Malcolm left the room to call Gil and find out what was going on. Just as he hung up. Tevin, the escaped patient, started banging on the door at the end of the hallway. He was calling after Ainsley because he wanted to be on TV; he wanted to tell his story. Mr. David confirmed that the door was locked and they needn't worry about him.

Malcolm and Ainsley entered the room again, but this time, instead of resuming filming, Ainsley asked Jin to go record the empty halls and get good shots to make her interview seem unsettling. Malcolm protested, but Ainsley sent him anyway. Sensing they wanted to be alone with their father, (Y/N) leaned close to Malcolm and whispered, "Will you be alright? Do you want me to stay?"

He whispered back, "I'll be ok, I promise." He gave her a small smile that she knew was only for show. But she followed Jin and Mr. David out into the hallway. Still, she stayed close to the door.

Jin was actually brave enough to stand at the opposite end of the hall, camera almost flush with the window in the door. (Y/N) couldnt explain it, but she suddenly got a pit in her stomach. The same feeling she would have before multiple critical patients would enter her trauma bays. That's when she saw him - Tevin, key card in hand, standing in front of the red door. (Y/N) screamed as he opened it and charged into Jin, stabbing him in the chest. The guard managed to wrestle him back through to the other side of the door while Malcolm put a pipe through the handle. Ainsley and (Y/N) immediately rushed to Jin's side and carried him to the opposite end of the hallway and into the room.

Jin was wheezing terribly and in agonizing pain. Ainsley was having a small nervous break-down and (Y/N) was assessing the injury. But Dr. Whitley remained seated in his chair. "What an eventful day we're having."

In that moment it all came together for (Y/N). She didn't yet know why, but she knew Dr. Whitley had planned this. Was it to traumatize his daughter? Then it occurred to her that if she weren't there, he would be the only medical professional in the room. Did he want to show off and endear Ainsley to himself? (Y/N) needed to set these thoughts aside because she had a patient that needed her.

"Ambulance and SWAT are on their way, they'll be here in 15 minutes." The guard tried to reassure Ainsley and Malcolm.

Dr. Whitley piped up. "He'll be dead in 10. He's got a hemothorax..."

(Y/N) drowned out Dr. Whitley's voice as she confirmed what he was saying. But she was snapped back to reality by the sound of Malcolm and Ainsley yelling at each other about whether or not to give Dr. Whitley a knife to operate on Jin. Dr. Whitley sent Mr. David to get supplies from the medical station and no one had noticed that (Y/N) had already removed Jin's shirt. When the guard returned, he was holding the scalpel in one hand and the rest of the supplies in the other.

As Malcolm reached out to grab the scalpel, preventing Ainsley from immediately giving it to Dr. Whitley, (Y/N) snatched it. "I'll take that."

Malcolm's eyes grew wide and Ainsley looked at (Y/N) in confusion. How could they have both forgotten that there was an ER physician in the room? Of course Dr. Whitley wouldn't get his hands on the knife. (Y/N) took satisfaction in knowing she had spoiled at least that part of his plan.

She got to work placing the chest tube. She worked methodically and with swift but smooth movements. Even the great Dr. Whitley had no critiques for her work.

Meanwhile, Malcolm had left to take care of Tevin after getting a call from Gil. By the time (Y/N) had finished securing the chest tube, Malcolm had apprehended Tevin and EMS entered the building to take Jin away to the closest hospital.

As Malcolm and (Y/N) stood on the steps of Claremont Psychiatric Hospital, watching Jin get put into the back of an ambulance, they took in the fresh air. (Y/N) was covered in blood, but she almost didn't notice it because it was just like being at work for her. Malcolm looked at her with his brilliant blue eyes and said, "Thank you, for keeping us from having to make that decision. I don't know what would have happened if he got a hold of that knife."

She would have reached out to hold his hand, but hers was covered in blood. All she could do was say with a small smile, "You're welcome."

Dr. Whitley was standing alone in his room, looking out of the window in his door. Everything was ruined. If she hadn't have been here, he could have gotten the knife and saved Jin in front of them, and...

His train of thought fell further and further down the rabbit hole. But he was handcuffed and chained, and he didn't want to make a scene by screaming. So he just furrowed his brows and deepend his frown. Words could not express his anger in that moment.

#prodigal son #malcolm bright #martin whitley #ainsley whitly #prodigal son fanfic #prodigal son imagine #imagine #fanfic

[quarktrinity]

hey so remember that post i made talking about how connor murphy is an abusive shithole? id like to make some adjustments to that.

in that post, i said that people are still allowes to like/relate to connor murphy and/or evan hansen. i only said that because if i didnt constantly cater to the opinions of deh stans, id be burned at the stake for it, and even when i did cater to them, i got people saying that connor actually isnt abusive, and that i should "let people enjoy things, karen".

well you know what? i literally dont give a shit right now.

dear evan hansen is a shitty garbage musical and anyone who tries to defend it needs to read the fuck out of this post.

lets address the elephant in the room. connor murphy abuses his sister. this shouldnt be up for debate, its literally part of his character, and basically stated in the script, which i own. if you "disagree" with this, i think you need to watch that show again.

so now that thats out of the way, i can go further into detail about this.

deh portrays connor murphy as a ~complicated~ individual, and says that even though he did bad things, the world shouldve been more welcoming and kind to him, and his parents shouldve tried harder to help him.

and sure, okay, his parents definitely sucked at trying to give their son the help he needed, but are we actually just going to skim over the fact that hes abusive? he threatened his sister and treated her like shit daily, thats not ~complicated~, thats called abuse, and the writers of this show cant fucking put this kid on the pedestal they put him on without giving the impression that they think abuse is justifiable.

you cant have it both ways. you cant have a character be irredeemable, then try to portray them in a sympathetic light. it makes you look like an asshole.

so if connors such a shithole, why do so many people like him?

well, lets just say that if sincerely me wasnt a song, people wouldnt give a shit about him. this is a classic case of "piece of media has a character say theyre gay, then pass it off as a joke to appeal to the straights, and lgbt+ fans eat it up." once fans had that impression of him, they couldnt let it go.

but that isnt who connor is. thats literally the point of sincerely me. connor isnt the cutesy sad baby you think he is, hes an abusive piece of shit who doesnt deserve the attention he got.

you might say: "but he was depressed!" "but his parents were neglectful!" "but he was ostracized!" and to that i say:

okay. that sucks. so?

how would any of that make him a sympathetic character? how would any of that justify giving the positive attention connor got? short answer: it wouldnt. long answer: you guys love saying "that doesnt make it okay, but..." but what you really mean is "i dont apply critical thinking to the characters i like because im stubborn about holding onto the first impression i had of them, so i dont care how objectively horrible they are, as long as i can tangentially relate to them via pride flags and neurodivergency, im good."

to portray connor the way he was portrayed is unacceptable. i literally cannot express how disgusted i am at this show and its fans.

moving on to the other huge asshole of this show, evan hansen himself.

where do i even start with evan hansen? well, lets make a list of all the reprehensible things hes done in the musical:

gaslighted an abuse victim into thinking her abuser loved her as a method to pursue her romantically

lied to said abusers entire family, painting a picture of a perfect child that definitely was nowhere close to who he actually was

antagonized his mother, claiming she saw him as "broken" when she was just trying to help him with his anxiety

hurt literally every single person in the musical and didnt hesitate to go straight for the jugular on every one of them

defended connor by saying "life is messy, people are complicated, blah blah blah blah false morality"

but sure hes adorable because anxiety.

evan hansen does not come anywhere close to what people call "morally gray" or "a good person doing bad things." i seriously cant think of a single thing he did in the musical that was solely for someone elses benefit. hes a selfish person. thats his whole thing. he wants attention so bad that he was willing to do outrageously bad things to get it. this isnt a matter of anxiety and getting caught up in a lie that got too big to let go, its a matter of being selfish. thats it. he isnt a good person. stop acting like he is.

the final thing id like to say is to those who identify as connorkin or evankin, or just relate to either of them as characters. to those people, i can say either 1) you dont know these characters as well as you think you do, and youre mistaken, OR, 2) you literally identify with one of these piles of human garbage, go away. im not going to waste my time arguing with people who relate to abusers/people who defend abusers

and if you think ive said "abuse/abuser" too much, and that i should find more creative ways to criticize connors character, i hate to break it to you, but theres not much else to say about him. the majority of whats said about him in dear evan hansen is a lie, so all i know about him is: 1) abuser, 2) some incident with a printer, so hes evidently a violent person, 3) weed, 4) depression? i guess? and 5) just a general asshole

thats kind of it

dear evan hansen spits in the face of abuse victims. it spits in the face of those who have depression or anxiety. it spits in the face of suicidal teenagers. it spits in the face of everything it pretends it cares about.

its a disgusting and damaging show, and id greatly appreciate it if i never had to see anyone sing its praises ever again.

bye.

#long post #deh discourse #quark goes off

[xiaolongpunch]

Guys

I know everyone is freaking out over weiss in the recent episode but after I did I looked back on it as I usually do and noticed quite a few things.

First we learn that emerald wouldn't be part of the evil crew if it wasnt for cinder. And I need to listen to it again but im pretty sure she said something along the lines of "I know cinder" which will be important for my next point.

Soooo, ill bring my own two salt...I forgot how the saying goes. Anyway. When Weiss gets stabbed by the spear, only three people were shown to be aware of it. Jaune, Cinder and finally emerald. It's odd really because normally when the show is showing a character dying, there is multiple reactions shown with the exception of one instance. When penny died, the camera focused on a few audience members and main core characters. When Pyrrha died, we got everyone present's reaction. When Qrow was poisoned (Although he didnt die, it was a tease like weiss' is right now) multiple reactions were shown. Oddly, this case differs, only cinder and jaune's reaction were shown with an emerald looking on to weiss as well. Odd. Ruby was also shown to be knocked out, so we can assume she couldnt react to the scene, but heres my theory.

Thus cinder isnt the one we've seen around emerald, em knows a cinder that is methodical, thoughtful, someone with a plan, someone that can be respected. But, she is seeing a Cinder that has like a fetish for torturing people's mind, playing with their emotions and toying with them. She probably sees Salem in her right now and did possibly two things. One, she didnt find this cinder weird but rather helped cinder toy with Jaune's emotional state without actually hurting Weiss. She casted an illusion on both cinder and jaune to be showing like cinder hit weiss. This would explain why three people are shown reacting, because they were the only ones affected. But the second choice is the same hoever for different motives. Em still casted an illusion on both of them but it was to stop Cinder from doing more harm then necessary while also not giving it away that she didnt hit anything by making jaune see it as well.

Heres why I think this. Em has been shown being conflicted with what she is doing around Cinder, therefore she is on the redemption arc list. Second, unlike Pyrrha, Weiss didnt dissipate into dust after getting stabbed, prehaps cinder needs to physically touch her but parts of me still hope it was because it was an illusion and that em didnt know what happen to cinders victim after getting stabbed by cinders magical/semblancing weapon. And finally, third point. Pay attention to the music when the scene plays out, there is this weird metallic swooshing going on in it, where else did I hear this oddly familiar sound, ah yes, when emerald activates her semblance. Although the sound weren't the same, they were oddly similar considering they both played out when emerald was present and that they have a very similar sound. The scene in v5 may have a different sound to not actively tell the audience that there is an illusion going while still hinting at it for people who really pay attention

Anyway, I may he desperate for weiss not be hurt but it is my theory

#rwby5

[zailyn26]

The Torture fic

also known as: The begining of all plot points and character development

TW: mild torture, graphic description (if explaining what happened counts, no actual description of injury from the methods or specific methods per se) Rough recovery, drug abuse, trauma, angst. kinda sweet and sour tbh

also this was suppose to be in my side blog but whatevs roit ? i'll just reblog myself that aint weird

>>>>>>>>>

Capturing the lot of us was never a problem. we were all capable enough to defeat nearly an army alone, what could a small group do ?

turns out, underestimating an adversary we knew nothing about brought about our downfall.

Zailyn, Joanna and I were captured separately, quick and quiet, no one knew anything had happened until Joan was unable to perform her morning duties and was found missing. What with her being the only one to actually go outside everyday.

They had taken you to somewhere you didnt know about. all kept in the same facility, but each area was specific to exploit our weaknesses. I was kept in a sealed room void of any moisture, with barely enough oxygen filtered through to keep me from fainting much less to create water. All those who attended me were golems, no flowing blood to speak of. Though breathing was arduous for me, I suffered through watching their treatment of Joan and Zai. Constantly at war on whether to use their blood to escape, possibly killing them, or just to succumb to the fact that I was going to be tortured.

Joanna, the most human of us, was beaten daily to prevent her from gaining strength, meals only given once every two days, and a half cup of water to last her three. after a while , we couldnt even sign at each other.

Nat was kept sealed like me. Only I knew she was breathing something other than air. her hands were caged in wrought iron gloves, fingers unable to cast anything. Not that it mattered. she couldnt form a single coherent thought. drugged up to the high heavens.

everyday we had to watch as the others were tortured infront of us. Screams of help and mercy reverberated in our brains so much we could hear them in our sleep. Joe probably had every bone broken, set to heal up, then broken again.

Zai had doctors injecting her with experimental magic concoctions, zapped til she forgot herself sometimes.

and I- golems would beat me. Homunculi would come in and torture me. I dont know how i survived without water. It felt like we were there for months. It seemed impossible for anyone to find us. Eren was gone, Everything was so bright there werent any shadows. Nat had a room with bright blinding light in all corners. I wouldnt doubt that the clear glass that we could see her though was mirrored just to torture her eyes more.

when they left us to recover, we tapped on our walls, speaking in morse. just constant ' are you ok?'s and 'hang in there's and 'your doing great's

But those were few and far between. every after session they would stuff us with ambrosia til we were burning up inside.

I saved every breath and pray that they hadnt gotten anyone else.

------------------------------------------

else where Anabiel and Matt were frantic. No one had seen any of you in three weeks. there was no sign of struggle. No indication of foul play. You had thought they left for an emergency and forgot to leave a note. But Zailyn would have sent a quick message and now her familiar was clearly stressed and would refuse to let either of you rest til you found everyone.

It wasnt until a tall lithe man burst through a tree in your search baring news. speaking of the Roman daughter and her companions trapped somewhere they cannot escape. He spoke of how earthen spirits came to him to gossip about a beached water-child and her posey were screaming up a dissonant storm in the belly of the forsaken grounds.

He lead you to where they said you were but could not go farther, something about being bound to duty and such and such.

when you saw the state they were in, well, safe to say none but the five of you walked away that day.

----------------------------------------

The issue of recovery is another discussion entirely. the lot of us were placed in the ICU for numerous injuries, Joanna had to recover from her internal and external injuries; Zailyn had to have all the drugs flushed from her system which led to several close calls. they werent really sure they even got everything out, some early doses already did damage to her systems. a CT scan showed just how close she was from having her brain fried. And somehow I was left with a little mix of both.

This kind of cemented the need for weekly slumber parties, mostly because no one could really sleep without the other anymore. The lithe Man from the forrest shows up from time to time to take care of Zai's cat/child(?) she calls her her magic fairy child and not human child since she didnt technically go around for nine months bloated like a balloon. But whatever still her kid.

Matt finally talked to Zailyn about how he felt so theres that. But repercussions of the trauma still showed. None of us could stomach ambrosia anymore. Zai lost the ability to feel for magic, she says is because her barrier is cranked up to eleven for the foreseeable future, blocking nearly everything. No one has been able to physically touch her other than the god Apollo , her parents and the rest of us. Add that to sensitive eyesight she now cannot leave the safety of Matts home, most of her belongings moved to the ground floor. She says shes going to burn down her house one day.

Joann's nerves were shot, unable to feel anything. Apollo could have fixed her but the extent of her injuries would have left her with chronic pain so horrible it would have been mercy to just end her. Ana had begged otherwise, and apollo could not refuse the blessed one. Luna now goes everywhere with Joan, in both forms- to look out for her and make sure she knows when to stop training since 'pushing til it hurts too much' doesnt work anymore. Luna is now attached to her aunt who acts like wonder woman.

I had minor brain damage, so I had lapses in memory, and it showed in my speech pattern, simple words more often than not eluded me. writing is easier now though. but somehow between my brain and my tongue words just seem to get lost.

I spend most of my days in Eron's room at my home. being too far from water of any kind now fills me with anxiety.

Ana and Matt now often leave to hunt down the people who did this to us. Zailyn, Joanna and I are now unable to step foot outside the camp.

#original work #literature #writing #torture #pain #angst #starring : Me and friends #it gets better tho #but it gets bad first #characters are explaind? ish?? #welp #not much exposition #i mean this is still the beginning of when my friends truely gave life to their characters #cuz nothing puts them to life more than torturing them #i think i made us cry with this #but hey good stuff happens in kther fics #because of this !! so is all good :D

[fairyiatlotl]

The Vampire That Longs For Mirror

There are three things you should know about me.

Im a vampire (hot scary fanged immortals that live on blood as in blood).

My name is Zhae (Its pronounced as Zshay, so please dont try pronouncing any other way).

And I have a huge butt (well the story is all about this).

Have you ever looked at the sky at night? Bet you would have been awed by the sight of it – bet you would have tried tracing out the zodiac signs – bet you would have tried spotting your zodiac and had felt happy about it – bet you would have had told the special characterstics of it and how it miraculously fit your description –bet you would have done all that and happily felt categorised into something that you feel proud to be born in.

Have you ever looked into the mirror? – Naked? Bet you would have hesitated a moment – bet you would have hated that one extra flab coming out – bet you would have hated how your bones are all that was visible – bet you would have hated the way your boobs dont grow the size they should – bet you would have hated the large butt that swings every damn time you walk – bet you would have hated those eyebrows out of proportion – bet you would have hated the way your underarm hair left a dark patch – bet you would have compared yourself to a thousand other people – bet you would have felt ashamed of yourself and what you have made yourself into – bet you would have asked yourself when is your body going to be happy – bet you would have done all that and still ignored the clitoris that you are supposed to be proud to be born with.

Thats how stupid we are; letting our zodiac signs make us feel happy about us while letting the mirror NOT feel happy about us. And I know this because once upon a time I used to think in this exact same way until one day I woke up seventeen and a vampire. And boy was I happy! Nope this aint Twilight, who am I kidding? – I mean I was kind of hysterically happy but for just a second. The belief that vampires are godly beautiful made me expect miraculous changes until I realised Ive not turned into a Beyonce-bod vampire but am forever trapped into a Beyonce-bod that weighs 80 kgs. So Congratulations to me! Am no more a mortal endomorph! Hurray! The vampire beauty curse epically punctured my gorgeous body dream! – I became a fat-ass immortal. Period.

Coming from a society where fit figure is an aspect of befitting element, do you realise how much stress would you go through once you realised that you are gonna be trapped for the rest of your immortal life in the body that you fed for seventeen heavenly years of your life – its like having permanent thyroid problem – its like being trapped in those epic novels that you love. Yea so I got trapped in my True Blood. I got trapped in my jeans. I got trapped in my body. And it sucked.

The next few days after my transition the thought of being forever fat did not even cross my mind. The funny thing was, I was reminded by the ignorants of this society that I could never ever wear a twenty six waist jeans. It was Aunt Shinzah; shes a dreamy doll aunt – everyone loves her; shes too pretty and too sweet, unfortunately she is too determined to make each and everyone happy. We were in the living room and she and her husband; Uncle Drad came for tea. I sat with the family to entertain them and while we were in a full swing of laughter and fun she said; Oh Baby! You look like you lost some pretty weight. Oh darling! You wait – youll lose weight as soon as you enter college; youll be as pretty as a sunshine; she passed me a smile. I felt so happy that she thought I lost some weight (should have known it was because I had starved for a week). My glass of delusion was cracked by Rob (the guy who apparently turned me into a vampire because he was too high to remember) who I met the very next day. He got scared at how pathetic I looked; I happily smiled and said that I was losing. He smirked at my foolish conclusions; No – youre hungry. Youre not losing weight. Gawd youre a vampire – you are never losing weight. Your body is frozen; I remember that day well and clear, I remember how the taste of my throat changed from sweet to vomit-like. I remember the guilt face of Rob as how he noticed my hurt. That day I killed my first human: He was a forty five year old drunkard that had abandoned his wife and children while he ogled every piece of an ass that walked by the 56th Bay street (and yes I am trying to justify my kill with this one sentence). He was eating Lays with booze; my hunger hormones couldnt resist. That day I felt pathetic at my existence. I actually wished for death – just walking and sitting made me feel ashamed of myself. But I couldnt ignore the fact that my body felt strong and healthy and ALIVE! That day I got the taste of human blood. It was irresistibly Lays-like!

The feeling of being the object of fun is one dark feeling induced by shallow mindedness. That day nothing was wrong; all was normal, I was infact happy and feeling healthy until my math period. The teacher had some grudge against me; reason to which was anonymous to me. He asked for our assignments, he started scolding each and every student in line; my heart was already in my throat I knew that he was going to scold me for no reason. He was a bully, what do you expect of him! He atlast came across me. He looked at me from under his bushy eyebrows, he radiated disgusted criticism and mean looks and then he came on at me (and am the vampire here!) he started yelling at me – he told me how pathetic my work is, that he would better thrash me on the floor ten times than better ever check my assignment ever again (by the way that assignment was an obsolete method of wasting mind, time and energy). This was not it. The next day when I entered class, he was filling some health forms. He came across my name and started laughing; Zhea huh! Even shes gonna write her weight here atlast; he laughed in his evilish snort and some of the front benchers joined him. What are you Zhea? An eighty or a hundred? soon the whole class joined in his act of evilness.

The next day he died in a sudden accident he met on the mid-way road that leaves the city (I wish this guy drowns in the pits of hell – I wish the Satan takes his personal interest in him and gut him with his pitch fork until he drowns in the lavas of the hell!). Dont judge me, he was the one at fault. I thought his death would stop my body shaming and public bullying. I was wrong. Everyone had started looking at me/my ass as an object of laughter by that time. Why wouldnt they? Well when the elders of the society take pleasure in this why shouldnt they? After all its the elders and teachers we look up to. It all came to an end. Even my distant hearing capability became a nuisance to me. I could hear boys talk about butts, I could hear girls talk about the methods to avoid a butt like mine. I could hear girls search over net the category to which my butt belonged to. I apparently fit into the peach figure among several other types: hour glass, straight line, inverse peach blah blah blah! It was there all over internet; the figure categorization of a womens body that is indirectly set for pleasing the patriarchs of our society. So much for gender equality!

The most pathetic part was, I was letting myself being treated that way; I being the vampire did not retaliate or infact confront anyone coming over to me and making fun of my so called healthiness (bullies gave me nicknames like fatty or dinosaur while friends gave me the consolatory adjectives like healthy; ironic right?). But believe me this was nothing to the final act that actually made me hate myself – the funny thing was it was an inanimate object that told me that I absolutely wasnt meant to fit in this society. It was just one chair – a students chair which had a side swing table hinged to it; I sat on it – I didnt fit. So I tried and when I fit I realised I was stuck; by the end of the class I struggled but then when the bell rung I awkwardly tried getting off the chair and then I heard; Look look Hahaha Hehehe God Am so happy to be me today; all the snickering, sniggering, simpering and whispering of all forty five fellow mates got me. It got me and thats when it happened – I lost it.

Seventeen years of my life I had been hearing people wait for me to get slim and pretty, seventeen years of my life Ive heard my father call me with funny names, seventeen years of my life Ive heard my sister flaunt me her figure and give me goals to reach, seventeen years of my life Ive been hit with comments and been joked about, seventeen years Ive been asked to dress myself in a way that nobody could see the fat-flesh of mine, seventeen years Ive cried about the fact I bloat even when my diet is exactly the same amount like any other persons, seventeen years Ive actually never looked into the mirror with pride and glory or in a way that I feel happy about myself or my body, seventeen years Ive felt ashamed of my ass and me, seventeen years were given to me to change myself. SEVENTEEN FUCKING YEARS IVE BEEN GIVEN THE CHANCE TO BE SOMEONE THAT THIS SOCIETY WANTED ME TO BE! Still it took the curse of eternity to make me realise to love me. How foolish we humans are, right?

The following days were followed by insidious depression. Vampire depressions are worse than human depressions they are like black holes that temporarily feel likely to be filled by the lust of human blood, but as soon as you hunt one down another appears for more – its actually a black hole in me that build: consuming every inch of me per person I killed. The depression was a slow perpetual intricate build up. It first started with the reckless killing of animals, then isolated hobos and then it lashed out as the most horrifying thing you could ever imagine. I started cutting myself. How? Well it started when I slit off my extra flesh in the shower. It hurt me like hell but it was the best way to release my anger and anxiety – the best way to punish myself for having flabs. Once I had cut myself, I would heal but I always ended up being hungrier and so I had to go hunting again. Soon it became my daily cycle. Nobody knew it, nobody noticed it. And why would they? Everyone was too busy feigning happiness and I was too busy killing mine.

Breaking away from my beloved cycle wasnt a choice. Rob found me one day all bloody and weak. This time it went far; I could have actually have actually died (could you believe that!) but luckily Rob smelled leakage of blood and he came running to my bedroom. He was horrified by the sight. He found me in my tub; I wasnt dead, just numb; all my blood was in the tub. Soon I lost conscience; when I opened my eyes again I found myself on the bed. I wasnt feeling hungry like the other times I felt. I was feeling physically normal. The sun was shining and it all came back – the frustration, depression, anger, hurt, hate. I again felt pathetic about myself. While my mind wandered in the dark miasma that I had created inside my head, my eyes wandered around the room; I saw a flower pot by the open window. That was different since I didnt keep a flowerpot by my window. It must have been mom, I thought.

Hey dumbhead; a voice came from the door; Mazie was standing there. Mazie is my Nana – we dont call her Nana for some specific reason that even we are oblivious to. Mazie? What are you doing here? I looked at her; I felt the warmth that she radiated.

Dont ask me silly questions! You were out for a whole godamn week and you ask me why am here? You gotta be kiddin me! Now get up and get ready we are going for shopping Mazie is one stubborn Nana – she has got my genes of holding onto things and being stubborn about them. What shopping? I asked with absolute confusion.

Well bikini shopping – we are going to the beach tomorrow; she gave me her Cheshire cat smile as she crossed the room and checked the flowers. It was she who got them.

Bikini shopping? I must confess she is the only living person that is scarier than a vampire after a hunger strike; I dont do bikini shopping; I answered with a wavering voice. Mazie looked at me with sceptic eyes and sighed heavily; Well! Its about time that you start doing it; she raised her eyebrow. I felt my cheeks flush. Bikini shopping? How could I do that? I hated my body. I hated myself. I felt pathetic and embarrassed about it. My eyes widened and I could feel tears brimming my eyes; I cant do that; I heard my voice mumble.

Yes you can! You in fact will; Mazie raised her head and I could see her poker face; Zhae – its just a bikini; she took the flower pot and moved towards me; Dont let a piece of cloth weigh you down; she kept the flowerpot next to me and patted my cheeks. They knew.

That day we went for bikini shopping and spa. I had no idea what was happening or what was going to happen tomorrow. The bikini was good but I again felt embarrassed about my weight. The spa on the other hand made me feel heaven like; I could feel my body relax. The next day I wore a long baggy shirt over my bikini. Mazie didnt say anything just gave me a look. I looked around and saw people playing and having fun in their shorts and bikinis; they looked gorgeous. But then I noticed something; I noticed a man with a big belly playing with his seven year old daughter, I noticed an old women rub sunscreen on herself, I noticed a women of twenties with a bulging belly run down the beach with her sister who apparently had the biggest breasts Ive ever seen, I noticed a boy with absolutely no flesh on him sit on the life guard post, I noticed chubby boys eat popsicles, I noticed a child rolling down the sand mount, I saw people getting wet as the waves hit the shore, I saw life happening around me and I felt so aloof and sad. I again felt angry but this time I wasnt angry at the society for not treating me well – I felt angry at myself for waiting for the society to treat me well. I immediately got up and walked away to the shops nearby. I entered a shady lane and cried my eyes out. I felt so agitated and irritated and so annoyed that I wanted to just end everything. I hated being a vampire, I hated being cursed with this body; I wanted to stop my misery. I wanted to know how was everyone on the beach confident enough to stand straight and play and enjoy; I wanted to know the secret because I also wanted to wear bikini freely; I also wanted to be a part of this happiness that everyone seem to radiate. I had to see how bad I looked – I needed to analyse and accept how I looked and moreover I wanted to see why it mattered to me to look Barbie perfect for wearing a bikini on a beach. I needed to know.

After a while I got up and roamed around the lanes, and there I saw something that induced a spectacular idea in my head. I entered a sketch shop. I took off my top and paid for a bikini portrait of mine. I still remember that one hour of portrait making – that one hour of exposing myself to me. It gave me the acceptance I needed. That one hour was totally worth it. When I came out with my sketch I smiled. I saw a piece of a bikini body that was made by an artist. I saw a piece of an art, I saw myself reflected in that small piece of paper and it made me feel so true and so important for some reason. The very sketch made each and every cell in my body release endorphins. I fell in love with my portrait. It was a fine feeling, tears brimmed my eyes and I hugged it. It felt good to make yourself feel mattered. Thats what I had to learn to finally accept myself. I analysed as I went down to the beach that I did not look bad at all, I looked okay, absolutely fabulous! In fact I looked really beautiful and confident. I seemed normal. I seemed human.

That day was my first day to ever walk on beach with only bikini on. Mazie was proud. And I prouder. I atlast had found my mirror.

#body shaming #short story #body love #vampire #teen fiction #teen stories #bloodlust #food #mental illness #mental health #body hate #art #mirror

[xomaleriestar]

Collection of notes

17.02.2021 at 10:02

so what i wanted to say before initially

is that i read the letter

and was wondering if its still relevant

ok so my response letter its so in heat of the moment and gross but whatever. i wanna share before ur travels and not think about it

i think i have feelings for you too big time but im hella damaged and have big problems w trust so its hard to accept any thoughts of them. i literally cant stop thinking about u and it burns in my chest when i do

its recent, like 2 weeks. always thought im totally tripping out and were totally chill but like bro when i went to take that covid test the other day thats when i realised that it might be a fucking problem cuz i literally felt empty inside w out u and im soso scared sooooo scared of being ok with "feelings" and its really goddamn hard to talk about them as well for me but lets see what happens in the next month

slight overview of damage: the more i open up the more distant i get usually. i've always felt im not worthy of anything good in life and im rotten throughout and its my "destiny" to lean how to give myself away to """"god"""" and reach enlightenment through my own methods

i think all comes from my relationship with my mom which i need to fix before being capable of love cuz ive felt my whole life like i have no idea what it is as i think my mother does not know either. so its been my plan all along to try and learn to love my mother on this trip and forgive her (my whole life i ive been dealing with trauma from my dad so new level now spiritually)

it completely quiet in estonia so my mind is racing but whatever

our souls are connected forever and i feel a very strong connection to u and ur very good to me or just are good

18.02.2021 at 08:15

i love you so fucking much. everytime i look at you or think of you i feel blessed. writing these letters im not sure you even exist anymore. (having flashbacks of i love dick :D)

and i relate with everything you've said

i'm honestly very very very confused as well with these things so don't be scared to move at your own pace and trust yourself first..? there's nothing to prove and we both are free and i dont need you to give me anything you dont want to. everything

at the right place right time. i feel lucky?

on the topic of trust... you are the first person in my life i've connected with only based on my gut feeling. i overthink a lot, but with you i havent had the need to. in the past i would change a lot for a person, but with you i've only gone deeper within and it's gotten me to a point where i have you and for the first time i feel ready and i dont want to distance myself to avoid getting hurt and im totally okay with being completely honest with you. the feeling of trust came very naturally but it's still scary. usually i search for understanding and i always feel i never get it but with you its so different, i dont think about it. i've never actually realised before now that it's trust i've struggled with and it makes sense with every part of my life. trusting myself with my art, trusting others with myself. again, coming back to my upbringing-it defo makes sense cuz i've never trusted my mother

it's defo a strange point in our timeline but im glad we've talked about these things and opened up more

please have a safe flight, i cant wait u to be in nyc already and defo call me i miss u so

15.03.2021 at 01:00

i just remembered that i almost gave away my room away in july and cuz i was so depressed wanted to stay in estonia. found a new person but she literally cancelled like a week before i came back to uk and my init

2:42 am

literally i cant sleep and am spiralling so hard. yesterday i found this voice memo from my dads bday in the summer where my mom got super depressive/manic and is crying and im talking with her and i cant get the fucking sounds out of my head and honestly im shocked i even recorded it. my whole childhood was literally spent by her facing the window in our kitchen, not showing her face and crying and later locking herself up in the bathroom and i literally got the whole thing recorded and its so painful to listen

ugh i cant fall back asleep, spiralling so hard. yesterday i found this crazy voice memo from summer, dads bday where my mom got super manic and i had recorded it and found it yesterday. listened to the whole thing a couple times and now its stuck in my head like some random song. i'll play it to u one day, it's literally my 9-18yrs explained in that recording. my thoughts are rapidly shifting between that voice memo and you, i literally spent the whole day thinking about you.

i once dreamt that i needed to speak to my mother, grabbed her by her shoulder to turn around to see her face but she kept turning around and had no face, only hair. i never saw her face and this one time when i was stoned, i was trying to remember her face and couldnt. now realising that maybe it was because of these moments

19.03.2021 at 10:42

i love you so fucking much i love you i love you i love you so mich i love you i love you i love u love u i love you i love you i love you so much i love you so much im in love woth you i miss you im in love with you im in love with you l love you i love you im in love with you im in love with you i love you i love you im in love im in love love i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you so i love you so i love you so much i love you so much i love you i love you i think i really love you i love you so much its hard to breathe and i think i really love you and it feels great to really say it to you

20.03.2021 at 17:12

love u so fucking much coumba honestly i hope youll have an amazing day. im gonna go offline for a bit 

had a really strange dream, really mundane. took the metro home from some festival and was living in my grandmas apartment again and elevator was broken so had to take the stairs. but it was super slow and dramatic. on my way up (the apt is on 6th floor) i over heard my neighbour family fight and i left the door open to overhear what the topic was and they were yelling at their child? 

i crave physical touch

hey hope ur being productive!! goddamn, ive just been writing and reading the whole day and figuring out this creative block situation/ why am i so triggered by work. found the right stuff to read and feeling full of life again. hope u are too

hope you're not second guessing me for getting sad yesterday. im feeling fucking crazy and it might be cause im starting my period. i keep rereading your letter. 

26.03.2021 at 19:21

bless you

ur so nice to me

had a walk and it was really refreshing. feeling better but have so many anxieties that sometimes i just explode

i fucking love u too. sometimes its like ur my lifes worth of care i never 

sometimes i feel like my lifes worth of good is coming to my life through you

......ur so nice to me....honestly i love u too so much..... i think it might be bc of full moon but im just like a total wreck today :D thanks for hearing me out before. and yes i'm excited to see whats waiting for me in london!! 

in other news -.... called me rude and an egomaniac bc i told her i was depressed and feeling xtremely anxious blabla basically overview of what i told u today so will postpone thinking about countryside stuff. feeling like shit again lolzzzzzz bc of it.... we were supposed to go together with misha but misha cancelled right so im not really in a hurry which she knew and wished me a happy trip back to london. like whenever she doesnt get what she wants she goes off but i mean i do understand that im being an asshole as well so its like the perfect way to end this day

baah mh im just gonna rant here u dont even have to respond :D but i used to be really really selfless growing up and my parents always bring it up that i let my friends use me lol and ive been hella defensive abt it always bc i never knew how intense it was?. friends literally always came first and i kinda repressed my true self bc of embarrassment etc etc and two years ago it slowly started morphing into hurt and disappointment idk why i expected sth back (now i dont thats prolly why im super self centred and delusional as well i guess) so like after all this shit when im like yo having a hard time i get called a fucking egomaniac... i think im tired and honestly the fact that im getting along w evert so well makes me so happy but yeah since eliann is horrible at expressing emotions its harder 

31.03.2021 at 20:20

❣️ is for  🚬👄👗COOL🕶☕️🏙❣️

❣️ is for 🎀🎀🎀ORIGINAL 🎀🎀❣️

❣️ is for ⭐️Ur A Star ⭐️ ❣️

❣️ is for MUSIC 🎧🔊🎶❣️

❣️ is for 🦋🦋 BEAUTIFUL 🦋🦋❣️

❣️ is for 💫💐🧚‍♀️ANGELIC 🏵🖼🔮❣️

❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️

02.04.2021 at 14:24

miiisssssssss uuuuuuu sooooo muuuccchhhh aaaannndddd caaannnnoooottttt wwwaaaaaiiiitttt toooo seeeeee uuuuuuu aaallllrrreeeaaaddddyyyyy iiimmmm sssoooop eeexxxccciiittteeeeddddd ffffoooorrrrr iiiittttt

11.04.2021 at 12:54

i really reaally love you

13.04.2021 at 21:53

have said this before but im drunk AGAIN and will say this AGAIN that i think ur amazing 

14.02.2021 at 01:46

im in love w u

[anything-advice-blog]

[TIME SENSITIVE / URGENT] toxic friend

i kno u guys must get like thousands of messages and im so sorry for cluttering ur inbox and pushing this to the front of the line but im just. desperate and really scared and i need to know what 2 do abt this as soon as possible!!! also as a preface i apologize in advance if some of the way i word things in this come off as offensive or incorrect, etc - i truly, genuinely do not mean any harm so please feel free to correct me if i say something that isnt okay!!! also this is REALLY scattered and mega long so bear with me im really sorry! (also im so. so scared the person in question is gonna see this o H MY GOD so i may need to message this blog again asking for this post to be taken down maybe bc im really paranoid im so sorry!! i hope thats ok but i just dont want to risk her seeing this if this all blows up in my face ohrkjdghkjghfdgj!!!) (TW: SUICIDE MENTION, SELF HARM MENTION)

ok so. almost 2 years ago in early 2016 this girl i’d never met before drew me this incredible gift art for my birthday. we started talking and we found out we have a lot of things in common - we both draw and write, we’re just a few months apart from each other in age, we have similar interests and fandoms, n we live less than an hour away from each other and are one state away from one another - so we immediately hit it off n became super close friends. she was amazingly talented n super friendly and nice n stuff so i wanted 2 be friends w her anyways!!!!! @ the time she was in an online relationship with someone several years older than her who lived across the country, and she mentioned a few times she was feeling unhappy and insecure in that relationship and that long distance was really difficult but she was too devoted to her partner to break it off. the most important thing 2 note is that my friend has several severe untreated mental illnesses (depression, anxiety, ocd among others), regularly self harms, and is suicidal. im pretty sure im neurotypical (or at least i definitely am not suicidal / depressed, etc), so while i couldnt relate to a lot of the things she was going through, i always tried to be a listening ear to her and give her advice / support when i could because i knew she was going through a lot of rough stuff. she told me she doesnt have any friends in real life, her parents are separated and her family does not support her or even really know / care about her mental health, and she can’t access any professional help from teachers / counselors / therapists due to her severe anxiety and financial issues for some of the latter options listed. as her relationship with her partner began to crumble, i started bearing a lot of the weight of her struggles - she would vent to me and i would always have to be there for her to support her. i told myself that because she was mentally ill and didnt have any support i would take on that role so she wouldnt have to suffer. over the summer of 2016 she almost attempted suicide like…. twice??? and i talked her out of it and it was terrifying and really exhaustimg to constantly be worried about her.

then almost a year ago, in the winter of 2016, she started getting… clingy? we started talking a lot more and i didnt really get like any bad vibes from her but we were pretty much joined @ the hip and stuff and we started telling each other all of our secrets (so this is when i found out her relationship with her girlfriend was starting to crumble, which i didnt previously know) also she started constantly drawing me stuff??? like Drowning me in gift art and i felt really bad for not being able to reciprocate but she told me not to worry and that she used art as a coping method and stuff. at this time, i was going through some stuff too - obviously not as severe as depression / self harming, etc, but i had just gotten out of an almost-relationship with someone i knew from school, and i was doing my best to distance myself from romance in general since i didnt feel mature or confident enough to be in a romantic relationship yet. i told my friend that i was uncomfortable about the prospect of being in a romantic relationship and she seemed to understand.

anyways right around my birthday this year she revealed to me that she was madly in love with me (???!!?!?!?!?!!?!!?). mind you we had never even talked to each other / video called or ANything like that and we had only sent each other One (1) selfie and. it made me really uncomfortable because she said that like i was her moon and stars and her whole world and everything and she constantly dreamed of me??? and that she had been secretly like writing me love poetry and drawing me Even More Art i didnt even know about and…… it was. really overwhelming. it bothered me for so many reasons besides the fact that we had never communicated outside of like chatting / sending messages back nd forth like…. ok she was still in that long distance relationship at the time even though it was crumbling, and she KNEW!!! that i was uncomfortable about romance but she told me anyways and stuff!!!!!! and AHHH it was just really bad. so i panicked over it for a day or two because i was scared that if i Firmly Said No that she would spiral into a depressive episode and actually fatally harm this time but i wrote her this huge long letter letting her down very, very, VERY gently and apologizing for ever leading her on and stuff. and. she never actually wrote back to that letter or told me that it was okay???? which….. should have been a red flag 2 me but. we moved on as friends even though we did this conscious of the fact that she still loved me like that and i didnt feel the same way. looking back on it i regret it so much because i told her that like i would Always Be There For Her Forever and stuff and??? gfkjhgk yeah it wasnt a good time.

its been almost a year since then. in the spring i got my first smartphone and we added each other on a lot of social media stuff including snapchat and moved all our conversations there, then we decided to call each other and exchange phone numbers and see how that worked. i didnt really think much of it and was excited to hear her voice and have a conversation with her but…….. suddenly that one call turned into two and two turned into three and within a few weeks we were calling each other like All The Time (at least once a week if not more) and like making these really fucking elaborate schedules to call each other????? WHICH LIKE i dont think is a normal thing friends do idk if im wrong but!!!!! i literally call None of my other friends except for her, and a lot of that is bc i actually get really anxious and uncomfortable talking on the phone?? (also not to mention my mom doesnt really like me talking on the phone either….) but i never really told her that it made me uncomf or that it was difficult to mnge like i guess it just kinda.. Happened and became the norm. so now on top of constantly messaging each other multiple times a day now we were calling frequently too and there was suddenly a lot more pressure in our relationship because i had to stress out over making a large amount of time in my day to talk to her. i graduated high school this spring and having to balance the extreme emotional load of that major change with like… suddenly having to fall all over myself to make time to talk to this girl i didnt even really know?? was just really bad and i regret it so much because i feel like i missed out on fully experiencing it i guess. im really really passive and im TERRIFIED of confrontation and i dont like saying no to people or telling them if im uncomfortable because They Will Get Mad At Me and it was especially worse bc of my friend’s mental health and so she and i would talk for hours on end because i was afraid that if i got tired and ended the conversation without a legitimate excuse she would get mad at me and hurt herself. since we could fit way more conversation into like… long long hours of talking and talking, we ended up like. just telling each other literally Everything and she “eventually” fell out of love with me and started trying to meet people who she actually knew irl to date!! which was. kinda good bc she met this one girl and they hit it off but then it turns out she was just….. queerbaiting my friend??? which Sucked so that obviously didnt work out. and then she met another girl on this dating app and they started going out and my friend started talking to me less for a little while. it turns out though……. that my friend’s new girlfriend lives in my town??? like i dont know her but bc of that my friend and i almost met in person bc the two of them met up and went out together and stuff and they were gonna drop by and see me but that didnt work out. im getting off topic here but my point is……… she told me she wasnt in love with me anymore and she started seeing other people.

sadly she and her gf recently broke up. their relationship was also really unhealthy just like…… All Of Her Relationships and that other girl broke up with my friend because she said she needed space (she was depressed too and needed to recover and my friend was being too clingy and attention seeking and stuff so she just ended it in the middle of the night over text.) ofc ive stuck around for all of this and my friend has vented about every tiny detail of this relationship to me and its…. been So Stressful. now that shes single again she’s more depressed than ever - over the summer when she was dating that other girl she stopped self harming but she started again when their relationship started going south and now im really scared she’s gonna hurt herself, esp bc she tried to commit suicide again a few months ago which was terrifying. also another thing thats made me REALLY uncomfortable!!!!!!!! is that she Keeps Bringing Up the fact that she was in love with me whenever we talk on the phone??? like Every Single Time We Talk, Without Fail. even when she was talking abt her new gf with me sh was like. comparing her attraction to her gf to her attraction to Me and talking abt how they were similar and different and. i never had the guts to tell her it bothered me but god it just does So So Much!!!!! because we were never in a real relationship and she doesnt even really know me KDSJFHKHGAHHH im rambling so much this makes no sense at all and this is so long im so sorry ahhhh but im… Stressed!

so….. we’re running up on two years since we’ve met and one year since she told me she loved me. im in college now and she’s still in high school, and she’ll be i college next year too. again, i dont think that im depressed or mentally ill, but ive been struggling a LOT with the adjustment from hs to college and its been really really rough on me emotionally. now that my friend is single she’s been solely relying on me and trying to get me to call her multiple times a week because she needs the extra support now that she doesnt have her girlfriend anymore… but she doesnt seem to understand that i i just dont have enough time or energy to give all of myself to her and fall all over myself to make her feel better, especially when i already feel suffocated by her to begin with AND when im suppposed to be starting this new life and putting all of my focus into that. we’re mutuals on every single social media i have and i feel like im constantly being crushed by guilt whenever i do anything for myself or post stuff bc she can see what im doing constantly. and like she asked me to turn my read receipts on when we started moving from snapchat to texting and i have them turned off regularly so i did and it was really uncomfortable. i keep bending myself over backwards to mke sure im making her happy bc im all she has left.

neither of us have good relationships with our moms and so we’re always sneaking around to call each other and lately ive been calling her at school because obviously my mom isnt there and its less of a hassle to sneak around her and and talk……. but its a double edged sword bc i keep having to isolate myself and skip clubs / studying / hanging out with friends and socializing to talk to her and listen to her vent and its just so exhausting and i feel like im starting to seriously fall behind in other areas of my life im supposed to be getting better in. its hard enough adjusting to this and missing high school and stuff and trying to learn how to be an adult and be independent, and having her weight over my shoulders just is making things so much worse. but if i tell her that she’s choking me she’ll hurt herself (she’s literally said to me, Multiple Times (and recently!!!) that if it werent for me she’d be dead by now or she would kill herself and stuff and im the only thing she’s living for at this point. which. i dont know how to feel about that). i feel so trapped and i can’t say or do anything that indicates that im uncomfortable because she’ll get mad at me and make these passive agressive little side comments or do these alarmed emoticons and stuff or give me the silent treatment for a day or two (which is always scary bc like its Good when she’s not talking to me but when she doesnt im scared that something horrible happened to her!!!!!) and its just. god. ive started lying to her and coming up with fake excuses to get out of calling her because the thought of having to go isolate myself in these empty courtyards or nooks and crannies of my college campus is growing more and more uncomfortable and terrifying to me and i just cant fucking be honest about it because i suck. when i talk on the phone with her i have to be really fake and smiley and stuff and all she does is ramble about how horrible things are going for her and then i have to try and give advice when i just am so bad at talking and socializing already and im dealing w my own stuff and its… Awful. im so so weighed down by this nd i know that if she knew she’s being a…. b*rden to me right now she would be devastated and harm herself and stuff so i cant say anything and im spiraling out of control with THI s but you get the point im just really uncomfortable Always!!!! and i feel like my own emotions are completely 100000% inferior to hers because she’s gone through so much more than me and stuff???? and idk if thats True or if its just the way i feel but i just cant do anything around her bc shes like a ticking time bomb and anything i feel or try to do to protect myself from getting hurt will be selfish bc shes hurting way mre than me!!!!!!!!

anyways her birthday just happened a couple weeks ago and i bought her a tiny present and drew her somehting (i felt super guilty about not doing More for it though because shes done so much for me and also literally nobody except me remembered her birthday, not even really her own family). i havent mailed it to her yet (i told her i would send it this weekend, which is why this is marked as urgent) but we just exchanged addresses for the first time so now she not only knows my name, my age, what i look like, my Entire Backstory Ft. My Deepest Darkest Secrets, and how to reach me whenever she wants wherever she wants, but now she knows Exactly where i live and where i go to school too lol yay!!! anyways im getting really really anxious because i just had my midterms for college and didnt talk to her for an entire week last week but this happened right after her gf broke up with her and i think shes mad at me for taking a week off of talking to her. we were gonna call again today but i weaseled my way out of it bc it was so overwhelming and now i have to mail her this gift this weekend and my mom and other fmily members are all yelling at me about it and demanding that i just like…. Not Send It To Her because i dont owe her anything and tht i should just cut her off but if i do she’ll hurt herself nd she follows me everywhere and knows all of my secrets and stuff and idk im just scared that if i end our friendship she’ll try to ruin my life!!!! Like i dont think she would be petty like that or turn people against me or anything but she’s so obsessed with giving all of herself to other people nd she’s literally said she cant function without being 100000% devoted to somebody and like even after she’s broken up with all these other girls she still…. is obsessed with them and angsts over them and stuff and she does that with me even though i never even dated her or anything aND ITS JUST bad

like. idk i just really needed to get all of that out and im sorry it was so so so long and i dont even know what to do but i guess i marked this urgent because like. do i send her the present???? should i try to just like quietly distance myself from her real subtly so she wont notice or should i just straight up tell her that i cant breathe around her anymore and i just. really need space??? or like to not be friends anymore even though we know everything about each other??? am i being manipulated or is it jsut All In My Head that our relationship is toxic??? like idk if i shoud even cut her off completely or aNYTHING or if we could like even go on being just acquaintances from now on and saying hi to each other from time to time. and i feel so mean and bad for writin all of thisstuff about her when i know shses so vulnerable and i havent concretely communicated Any discomfort around her so if she saw this she would immediately know it was about her and do something Terrible to herself nd she constantly spams me with memes about depression and wanting to die and like…. blows up my phone with like 50 text messages at once and its just so so so much to worry about and i!!! just!!!!!! cant function like this anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHH!!

anyways that was a huge disorganized mess and im kinda shaking and i dont even think i got all of it down or communicated how trapped and helpless i feel. ive never been in any situation like this before and i hate that she’s…. yeah. she’s really like manipulated me and stuff and i dont know how to get out of it. every time i think about it i feel like bursting into tears because im just so stuck and i dont even know if the way im feeling is even valid or if its all just lke. in my head or something and this is how friends really are Supposed to be because ive never really had a great social life either and my best friends are honestly my brother and sister and they mean everything to me and so i have friends outside of my family but like idk i never like. really was that close with any of them nad stuff nad idk this isnt about me BUT i just uhhh. am kinda crying a little bit and im sorry fo rbeig a big baby about all of this its all my fault for being a Human Doormat and letting people walk all over me nd tellin myself that i can bear that weight when i really have never taken good care of myself before Ever In My Life and stuff. but anyways im gonna stop rambling now and just… to whoever reads this or responds to this or whatever just thank you for hearing me out even if you think im wrong / crazy / Terrible for feeling this way because it just has been so much and i dont know what to do.

Hey there!

There's a lot going on here, but the bottom line seems to be this; you're in a friendship that you don't want to be in, and that you feel is unhealthy for you.

You are not her therapist. You can't fix her, you can't treat her, you can support her, but that's it. You aren't responsible for her. You're forcing yourself to put all this time and energy into something that you're super uncomfortable with, and don't want to be doing, and it's draining you and destroying your own mental health. You have to put yourself first. It's okay to want to help people, but you HAVE to put yourself first, or else you'll burn out and you won't be able to help anybody.

At the very least, you need to talk to her about how you're feeling, and tell her you need to tone down your relationship. What's happening absolutely isn't fair to you. All you can do to help her is your best, and right now, you're not doing your best because you're not taking care of yourself.

I know you're concerned about her hurting herself or killing herself, but you have to understand that you are not responsible for her. If she does something to herself, it's not as a result of your actions. She's traumatized and mentally ill, and those factors are what causes her to hurt herself. Not you. You are not and can not be responsible for her. Period. If she tells you she's going to kill herself or severely hurt herself, you have her address. Call 911 and ask them to dispatch help to her house. She might hate you for it, but an angry person is far, far better than a dead person. That action very well might save her life, and get her the help that she needs, so don't be afraid to do it.

As for the present, it's totally up to you. You did promise it to her, and fulfilling that promise might help you let her down a little bit more gently. At the same time, giving her a permanent reminder of you could hurt her. Maybe you should ask her? Tell her about how you're feeling and that you can't keep going with this intense of a relationship, and have a conversation about that. During that conversation, you could ask if she still wants the present. She might get angry, or it could help soothe her, or maybe she'll have a totally different reaction. It's hard to know.

This conversation is going to be super, super hard. It's going to be hell, quite frankly. She's a super sensitive person, and she's probably not going to take it well. So remember what I said before, about her not being your responsibility, and do a LOT of self care working up to the conversation and after the conversation. I'd recommend making a self care kit, and putting things in it that help calm you down. My personal self care kit contains nice smelling lotion, soft fabric, stuff to play with, gum, tea bags, and notes from friends reminding me that they love me. You could also be texting a friend during the conversation, so that they can reassure you and help talk you through it.

You may not be going through the same things she is, but your feelings and your struggles are valid. You don't need to destroy yourself to help someone that's "worse" than you are. You need to take care of yourself, and keep yourself as healthy as possible. You aren't any less valuable simply because you're not traumatized or self harming. Your mental health is important, and you need to do what's right for you.

I hope this helps!

♥ - Fawn

#advice #advice blog #anything advice blog #aab #toxic friend #friendship #long distance friendship #relationship #friend confession #friend being in love #confusing friend #manipulative friend #manipulation #toxic friendship #unhealthy friendship #unhealthy relationship #self harm ment #suicide ment #police ment #college ment #school ment #fawn #answered #anon #anonymous #submission #urgent #time sensitive

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Therefore Easy Yet So Complicated.

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[handonshipper]

A Twist Through TIme: Chapter Two

Stefan continued walking with Klaus and then entered Gloria's bar once they arrived. He looked over at the witch, who was working on a solution. Or rather faking working on a solution as she tried to figure out what she wanted to know.

Klaus walked in the bar, his gaze immediately falling on the witch. He didn’t hesitate before walking over to her. “Have you found anything yet? Or must I use other...methods in order to motivate you?” He questioned with a smirk on his lips.

"I'm doing the best I can" Gloria said, looking at him. "These things take time." Her head then turned to the front door as the tribrid walked in. She could easily sense her power. "And who are you?" She asked, straightening up, eyeing the girl warily.

Hope swallowed a little as she ran into her dad yet again. "Hope" she said simply.

"Now this one radiates power. More than I've ever seen" Gloria said, looking at her curiously and cautiously.

Hope glanced between Klaus and Gloria. "I should go" she said, looking at the two and taking a step back.

Klaus had been close to threatening the witch. He was already feared before, but now that he broke his curse, he was ten times more powerful. However, He frowned as he listened the words exchanged when Hppe entered the bar. “Not so fast.” He smirked taking a step towards Hope. “And here I thought you were just a useless young girl. It appears I was wrong. Tell me, what exactly are you?” He hadn’t been able to tell when they first met, and he usually could. Which now concerned him considering the witch seemed so cautious of her. More than with Klaus himself it would seem.

"It doesnt matter what I am" Hope said, looking at him as she tightened her grip on the sketchbook she was holding, trying to keep her emotions under control

“Oh I believe it does.” Klaus said smugly. “Especially when I consider the way you are acting right now. So very nervous.” He smirked keeping his eyes locked on hers. “I do recommend you tell me willingly. If I have to make you, I cannot guarantee it will be pretty. Though I suppose it will be much more enjoyable for me and my friend Stefan here.”

"I'm a witch" Hope said. It was 33% true anyways. 50% if you exclude the vampire side she has yet to trigger. She couldnt say she was

Gloria looked at her doubtfully. She had connections to the other side. To a couple witches at least. And none of which were saying anything but that they could sense the girl was an abomination.

Klaus frowned at the answer. He could tell there was more to it. What that could be, he wasn’t sure. But he knew he would find out. “A witch. Excellent. In that case maybe you two can possibly find a solution to my problem.” He suggested though it was clear it wasn’t up to them. He needed to make more hybrids, and he didn’t care who he had to force or threaten so long as he got what he wanted.

Hope sighed in irritation. She really didnt want to have to stop her dad. But she also didnt want to risk compromising the future.. but if she just did the same as the witch, it wouldnt compromise anything yet. Whereas making a scene and attacking her father would. She needed to come up with a plan. "Fine. I'll hold off my plans to try to figure out the spell that sent me here to help you figure out your problem"

she said as she put the sketchbook and pencils (which she had bought to help calm herself)down on a table in the bar and walked over to the witch.

Stefan was watching Hope curiously , a bit worried about what she would find, but he didnt show it. Instead he went closer to the witches. "Do you know who we are?" He asked her, wanting to hear the truth, merely out of curiosity.

Hope looked at him before looking over at Klaus, ignoring the question. "What exactly are we supposed to be doing?" She asked

"She needs Rebekah if you want her to be able to help me find the necklace" Gloria told Klaus.

"There you two are" Rebekah said, walking inside Gloria's bar. "You left me. Rude, both of you. And who is this?" Her gaze was on Hope now. "A snack for the two of you?"

"Shes a witch. Powerful one apparently. Klaus wants to see if she can find the necklace" Stefan filled her in as he walked over to the bar, pouring himself a drink.

Hope straightened herself as she looked at Rebekah. "I'm Hope" she introduced herself.

“Yes well, you were being quite the pain dear sister.” Klaus retorted with a sarcastic smile on his lips, momentarily forgetting about Hope. It wasn’t until Rebekah questioned her existence that he remembered she was there. “Right. She somehow ended up in Stefan’s apartment. Apparently another witch quote, “blasted” her in there. If such a thing is even possible.” He said rolling his eyes as he clearly still didn’t fully believe her story. “Frankly if she cannot find the necklace either then I truly will wish she was a snack.” He snorted. “Come to think of it I am getting a bit peckish. What do you say we go find someone to drain once we are finished with this?” He asked looking at Stefan as his lips shaped into a smirk.

"Mmm. I could use a snack" Stefan said with a grin as he downed his glass

"Come on. Let's get this over with" Rebekah whined impatiently, holding her hand out to Hope. "I want my bloody necklace"

Hope looked up at her aunt Rebekah before taking her hand gently and closing her eyes, trying to sense something like she has been requested. Suddenly, she caught a glimpse of a girl that looked like Bonnie Bennett. Younger version. She listened and heard Stefan's name. The pieces fell together about what was exactly going on. She kept her eyes closed for a moment longer.

"Do you have anything?" Stefan asked. "Or are you useless as well?"

Hope kept her eyes closed for an extra moment. She let go of Rebekah, opening her eyes quickly. She placed a quick and whispered sleeping spell both on Gloria and Stefan before standing up as the two collapsed unwillingly.

Klaus had been watching intently as Hope tried to find the necklace he needed. When she opened her eyes, he was about to question her himself but Stefan beat him to it. He soon blinked in surprise however when Stefan suddenly collapsed. “What is this? What have you done to him?” He asked threateningly as he now glared at Hope. He didn’t do anything yet, but the wrong answer would very well end with her dead.

"I put them under a sleeping spell. Neither of them are on your side. I heard some girls talking about Stefan. Yes I know who you both are. Which means, chances are, he knows exactly where the necklace is. And as for the witch, Gloria, if I can figure this all out in a matter of seconds, she should have been able to as well. Clearly she doesnt want you to have the necklace either" Hope explained, looking at her dad. "Look, if I was against you, wouldnt I have done it to you instead?" She reasoned

Klaus was silent for a few minutes, simply letting that sink in. He wasn’t surprised about Gloria, seeing as he appeared to be an abomination to all witches. Even his own mother. And he never did trust her. But Stefan...that one did surprise him. And if he was honest, it even hurt him. He considered him his friend. Yet it turns out this whole time he had merely been humoring him. But of course he refused to let any of that pain show.

“Alright. Fine. Then tell me where the necklace is. If you aren’t against me as you in fact say.”

"Mystic Falls" Hope replied, looking at him. "Neither will wake up until I remove the spell"

"Well, you're coming with us" Rebekah said. "Just in case you are lying."

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Klaus mumbled mainly to himself. Of course Stefan didn’t want him poking around in Mystic Falls. Not where his precious friends were. He didn’t think the young witch was lying, but he couldn’t afford to take any chances. “Alright. Mystic Falls it is. Come on then...what was your name again?”

Hope sighed softly, wishing she could just be left out of it. She didnt know how much she could take. "My name is Hope" she said for the third time.

Rebekah picked up Stefan easily. "What do we do with him, Nik? He lied to us, assuming the witch is telling the truth"

“Right. Hope. Strange name.” Klaus mumbled thoughtfully before being snapped out of it by Rebekah. His gaze fell on Stefan’s collapsed form. Anger flashed in his eyes for a moment before it quickly disappeared. “We leave him. Clearly he was attempting to protect one of his less than worthy friends. I say we leave him with the knowledge that doing so, will only result in me possibly murdering them all.”

He smirked at the thought. “Slowly and painfully.”

Hope sighed softly as Rebekah dropped Stefan in a booth before stabbing him in the gut as payback. She tore her gaze away, hating how this was happening to him. That it was her fault because she couldnt just go along with things. "So does that mean you want me to wake him up?" the tribrid questioned, looking at him.

Klaus thought about it for a moment. His lips curled upwards as a thought came to mind. “Yes actually. I have the perfect plan for our traitor.” He said and took a seat at the booth across from Stefan. “Go on.” Hope sighed softly at that and woke up Stefan before turning away and grabbing her sketchbook.

Stefan's eyes slowly opened, and he pushed himself up and groaned at the feeling of wood in his stomach. He pulled it out painfully and tossed it to the ground. "What happened?

Klaus smirked as he looked at Stefan, hiding away any type of hurt emotions just like he was used to doing by now. “Oh I can tell you what happened. However you already know. You betrayed me. And whilst normally punishment for such a thing is death, I have something far, far worse.”

"What are you talking about?" Stefan questioned, looking confused.

"Drop the act. The person with the necklace was discussing you. And the necklace is in Mystic Falls. So chances are you know exactly who has it. Yet you didnt tell him" Hope said.

Klaus’ smirk widened a little as he listened to Hope. He had to admit he could get used to having someone actually being on his side for once. This girl just met him and yet she was already defending him far more than his siblings ever did. “Which means you were protecting them the entire time and this whole, you are now on my side thing was nothing but a ruse.” He looked directly into Stefan’s eyes then. “See, typically I would have ripped your heart out by now. However, I think my arrangement is far better. I am going to go to Mystic Falls. You are going to stay here until I tell you you are allowed to return.” He said, speaking each word slowly as he compelled him. “Which, if we’re honest, will be once I rip the heart out of whoever has the necklace.” He grinned.

Stefan felt the compulsion sinking in. His inability to move. To leave. "Klaus, dont do this" he said, looking at him, worry obvious in his eyes

Hope sighed softly and sat down, thinking of how much she had already changed things. For all she knew, she was already on the path to erasing her whole existence. To erasing the twins from being born. Her heart sank, and she swallowed hard. "What about making him come with us but having his humanity off and under your control completely? Once the humanity comes back, the guilt about whatever he does comes back hard" Hope suggested casually as she poured herself some water and took a sip

Klaus openly glared at Stefan, hating the plea that left his lips. He betrayed him and then he had the nerve to beg him not to act on his anger? “You pretended to be on my side and now you have the audacity to ask me to have mercy?” He questioned, clearly prepared to say more. Though of course then he heard Hope and instantly he smiled in satisfaction. He liked this girl, whoever she was. “What a wonderful idea, Hope. Not only will the outcome be the same, but now I get to personally witness his guilt. I have to say I love the way you think.” He smirked once more. “Very well. Change of plans. We are following Hope’s idea.”

Hope felt guilty, but she knew it had to be done. It was what had happened last time. Things were going to have to happen right. Even if she hated it. Besides, Stefan did betray her father. But still.... he did die for the town. She finished her drink and watched.

Stefan's heart sank at that, already dreading it and what would happen to Elena because of this. He just hoped Damon and Bonnie and Caroline would be able to protect her.

Klaus smirked in satisfaction as he observed Stefan’s expression. “Come on then. I want to get to Mystic Falls as soon as possible.” After all, the faster he found the necklace, the faster he could figure out why his hybrids weren’t surviving.

Stefan got up out of the booth, already dreading what was to come. He didnt say anything. There was no point. He couldnt pretend anymore. Klaus was about to learn the truth about Elena. And there was nothing he could do to stop it. Rebekah put down her glass, fighting her instinct to hurt Stefan again. His betrayal hurt her because she still loved him. "Come on" she told Hope before leading her out of the bar. Hope followed Rebekah, holding her sketchbook close to her as they made their way to where their vehicle was. She looked over at the blonde before looking away.

Klaus headed out, his mind only thinking of what everything would be like once he had his hybrids. He would truly be invincible. “I am curious to see who it was you were protecting.” He smirked as he glanced over at Stefan. “More than that, I suppose I’m curious what it will be like for you when I kill whoever it is. Or perhaps you should be the one to do it hm? Yes. That sounds like a better idea.”

#hope mikaelson #legacies #cw legacies #legacies cw #vampire diaries #tvd #klaus mikaelson #stefan salvatore #rebekah mikaelson #a twist through time #A twist through time chapter two

[viralhottopics]

How Trump’s Election Woke Women Everywhere

He hugged her every day.

He was the chief executive of the company, a large health care outfit in New Jersey. Married. Decades older. She was his executive assistant.

He seemed committed to those hugs, making a point to walk around her L-shaped desk every day to get his. If they skipped a day, next time hed say, I didnt get my hug and make a grab for it. He sent her flirty text messages. One day when Susan was sitting at her desk, he messaged her from his office next door. You look pretty in that dress.

I felt uncomfortable that whole day, Susan told The Huffington Post recently. Susan rarely wore the dress again, fearing hed mistake it as her trying to please him. She was creeped out. I didnt feel safe. It felt like he was grooming her, Susan says now.

Still, it was those daily hugs that felt the worst; a personal affront, as though her boss felt he had the right to just pull her body close to his. He had this air of arrogance.

Talking to human resources wasnt an option. The CEO was chummy with the guy who ran the department. The plan was to find another job and quietly move on. Then last Thanksgiving, she reached her breaking point.

Susan, who asked that we not use her name or reveal her place of employment while her lawyers work out her claims against her now-former boss and company, is one of many women who are feeling more confident about speaking up about sexual harassment, discrimination and assault in the workplace.

High-profile cases have raised awareness, including all those Bill Cosby accusers who came forward in 2015 and the implosion at Fox News kicked off by anchor Gretchen Carlson in July.

And in October, after a recording revealed boastful remarks Donald Trump had made in 2005 about assaulting women, more than a dozen women came forward with personalstories about how he had mistreated them. But despite those claims, Trump won the presidential election, and the message his victory sent sexual harassment allegations dont hurt men couldve been utterly chilling to the many women who face discrimination and harassment at work.

Instead,the stream of stories about sexual abuse and harassment has hardly subsided. In the past few weeks, Susan Fowler, a former Uber engineer, published a blog post about how she was mistreated by her employer, launching an image crisis for the ride-hailing giant.

Nicholas Hunt via Getty Images

After Gretchen Carlson, left, sued her boss Roger Ailes, she opened the door for other women at Fox News to reveal their experiences. Ailes later resigned.

Theres the Tesla employee who filed suit against the electric car maker last yearand just recently starting speaking openly about her experiences to the press.

And there are the thousands of women who worked for the mall jewelry stores Jared and Kay who are now starting to open up about the harassment they suffered.

Sexual harassment claims filed with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission have risen since 2014, but data since the Nov. 8 presidential election is not yet available. Still,Nancy Erika Smith, the lawyer who represented Carlson in her harassment case against former Fox News Chairman Roger Ailes, says more women have been coming to her with sexual harassment cases since November.

Maybe [the election] has gotten a lot more people awakened, or woke, as they say, Smith says. That might be something that cant be stopped.

David McNew via Getty Images

Summer Zervos announces her lawsuit against then President-elect Donald Trump in January. The former “Apprentice” contestant accused him of sexually inappropriate conduct and defamation.

Instead of intimidating women, the election of a sexual harasser as president seems to have had an empowering effect for many women who had stayed quiet about being harassed and discriminated against at work.

It was a teaching moment, said Kathleen Peratis, a partner at Outten and Golden law firm who has handled hundreds of harassment cases. She compared Trumps election to the 1991 confirmation of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas despite former colleague Anita Hills accusations of sexual harassment. The controversyultimately led to more women running for office and is widely recognized as a turning point in the battle against sexual harassment.

Since then, the culture has changed, Peratis noted. Todays younger generation is more likely to take harassment claims seriously. In the Fox case, that meant James and Lachlan Murdoch,who head 21st Century Fox, actually launched an investigation into Ailes behavior instead of sweeping it under the rug, as their 85-year-old father, Rupert Murdoch, might have done.

Peratis also made a key point that is at play right now: Theres safety in numbers. In her practice, shes found that the more women who come forward at a single company, the more successful their claims will be and the more likely it will be that they are believed. Thats what happened at Fox. Carlsons suit helped enable other women to come forward with their stories.

Maybe [the election] has gotten a lot more people awakened, or woke, as they say. That might be something that cant be stopped. lawyer Nancy Erika Smith

But this strength-in-numbers thing also seems to help women in other organizations, too. When women see others publicly standing up and speaking out, they feel more empowered to act even if theyre the only ones at their company brave enough to speak.

The media have become better about elevating those voices. When Smith and Peratis were starting out decades ago, business and politics reporters were overwhelmingly male. As more women have become journalists, more attention is being paid to cases like these, and they are covered with a heightened sensitivity. Many of us have been there in one way or another.

Youd likely hear about even more harassment cases if companies hadnt gotten so adept at keeping claims quiet, through methods such as closed-door arbitration. Sophisticated HR departments are also better about education and training, Peratis said, so claims dont escalate.

Ultimately, though, there is no simple answer for why more women appear to be coming forward. The decision about whether to speak up is particular and personal. And the pressure to stay quiet is overwhelming. Its part of the air women breathe: He didnt mean anything. Hes just being friendly. Its something I did. I just need to be less friendly, dress differently, act professionally.

Though the culture has warmed to the idea that sexual discrimination is real, theres still a lot of pressure on women to just live with it. Susans mother and sister suggested she try to apologize to her boss for not hugging him. Whats wrong with a little embrace, her mom wondered.

Peratis said that the instinct to disbelieve women who come forward can be strong. Theres practically a genetic predisposition to disbelieve claims having to do with sex, she said, adding that until the 1970s you couldnt bring a rape case to court if the only witness was a woman.

The one thing that seems to unite these women is a clear sense of right and wrong. A strong belief in justice. Fowler writes in her blog that the way she was treated at Uber was bizarre. Another way of putting it: The treatment wasnt right.

Until somebody stands up, nothing is going to change. AJ Vandermeyden, Tesla employee

Until somebody stands up, nothing is going to change, AJVandermeyden, the woman who is suing Tesla, told The Guardianin a recent interview. Im an advocate of Tesla. I really do believe they are doing great things. That said, I cant turn a blind eye if theres something fundamentally wrong going on.

Susan told HuffPost over and over that she felt like what happened to her wasnt right. She finally stood up for herself just a few weeks after the presidential election, after six months on the job.

Over Thanksgiving, her boss texted her while she was home for the holiday. Was she making the meal for her family? When Susan said no, her mother was preparing Thanksgiving dinner, he typed, Good. Youre too cute to cook. He then added how grateful he was that she worked for him. Thank you for all you do, he wrote.

The presumptuousness of his texts infuriated her. She couldnt take it anymore. When she returned to work on Friday, Susan couldnt bring herself to hug him.

I knew there would be consequences, she says. I dont have to hug a man every day to come to work. This is not a job requirement.

Apparently, for her boss it was. When he didnt get his hug, the CEO locked eyes with Susan, she says. It was only for about 30 seconds, but it felt longer. His whole demeanor changed. I knew something was coming. It was like how you feel when you disappoint [a parent] or you break a rule and you know a consequence is coming.

Seven days later, Susan was fired. The human resources department said it had found her interpersonal skills to be lacking. Coming with no warning about her performance and just days after her boss had thanked her for her good work, Susan knew this was about the hugs.

She packed up and left, and, before she drove out of the parking lot, she sat in her car and stewed. I knew it wasnt right.

She found a lawyer who is working on settling Susans case with her former employer and believes theres a chance the CEO may be fired, her lawyer told HuffPost.

Sometimes people do get justice, Susan said.

Read more: http://huff.to/2m4Wtzo

from How Trump’s Election Woke Women Everywhere

#How Trump’s Election Woke Women Everywhere

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He hugged her every day.

He was the chief executive of the company, a large health care outfit in New Jersey. Married. Decades older. She was his executive assistant.

He seemed committed to those hugs, making a point to walk around her L-shaped desk every day to get his. If they skipped a day, next time hed say, I didnt get my hug and make a grab for it. He sent her flirty text messages. One day when Susan was sitting at her desk, he messaged her from his office next door. You look pretty in that dress.

I felt uncomfortable that whole day, Susan told The Huffington Post recently. Susan rarely wore the dress again, fearing hed mistake it as her trying to please him. She was creeped out. I didnt feel safe. It felt like he was grooming her, Susan says now.

Still, it was those daily hugs that felt the worst; a personal affront, as though her boss felt he had the right to just pull her body close to his. He had this air of arrogance.

Talking to human resources wasnt an option. The CEO was chummy with the guy who ran the department. The plan was to find another job and quietly move on. Then last Thanksgiving, she reached her breaking point.

Susan, who asked that we not use her name or reveal her place of employment while her lawyers work out her claims against her now-former boss and company, is one of many women who are feeling more confident about speaking up about sexual harassment, discrimination and assault in the workplace.

High-profile cases have raised awareness, including all those Bill Cosby accusers who came forward in 2015 and the implosion at Fox News kicked off by anchor Gretchen Carlson in July.

And in October, after a recording revealed boastful remarks Donald Trump had made in 2005 about assaulting women, more than a dozen women came forward with personalstories about how he had mistreated them. But despite those claims, Trump won the presidential election, and the message his victory sent sexual harassment allegations dont hurt men couldve been utterly chilling to the many women who face discrimination and harassment at work.

Instead,the stream of stories about sexual abuse and harassment has hardly subsided. In the past few weeks, Susan Fowler, a former Uber engineer, published a blog post about how she was mistreated by her employer, launching an image crisis for the ride-hailing giant.

Nicholas Hunt via Getty Images

After Gretchen Carlson, left, sued her boss Roger Ailes, she opened the door for other women at Fox News to reveal their experiences. Ailes later resigned.

Theres the Tesla employee who filed suit against the electric car maker last yearand just recently starting speaking openly about her experiences to the press.

And there are the thousands of women who worked for the mall jewelry stores Jared and Kay who are now starting to open up about the harassment they suffered.

Sexual harassment claims filed with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission have risen since 2014, but data since the Nov. 8 presidential election is not yet available. Still,Nancy Erika Smith, the lawyer who represented Carlson in her harassment case against former Fox News Chairman Roger Ailes, says more women have been coming to her with sexual harassment cases since November.

Maybe [the election] has gotten a lot more people awakened, or woke, as they say, Smith says. That might be something that cant be stopped.

David McNew via Getty Images

Summer Zervos announces her lawsuit against then President-elect Donald Trump in January. The former “Apprentice” contestant accused him of sexually inappropriate conduct and defamation.

Instead of intimidating women, the election of a sexual harasser as president seems to have had an empowering effect for many women who had stayed quiet about being harassed and discriminated against at work.

It was a teaching moment, said Kathleen Peratis, a partner at Outten and Golden law firm who has handled hundreds of harassment cases. She compared Trumps election to the 1991 confirmation of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas despite former colleague Anita Hills accusations of sexual harassment. The controversyultimately led to more women running for office and is widely recognized as a turning point in the battle against sexual harassment.

Since then, the culture has changed, Peratis noted. Todays younger generation is more likely to take harassment claims seriously. In the Fox case, that meant James and Lachlan Murdoch,who head 21st Century Fox, actually launched an investigation into Ailes behavior instead of sweeping it under the rug, as their 85-year-old father, Rupert Murdoch, might have done.

Peratis also made a key point that is at play right now: Theres safety in numbers. In her practice, shes found that the more women who come forward at a single company, the more successful their claims will be and the more likely it will be that they are believed. Thats what happened at Fox. Carlsons suit helped enable other women to come forward with their stories.

Maybe [the election] has gotten a lot more people awakened, or woke, as they say. That might be something that cant be stopped. lawyer Nancy Erika Smith

But this strength-in-numbers thing also seems to help women in other organizations, too. When women see others publicly standing up and speaking out, they feel more empowered to act even if theyre the only ones at their company brave enough to speak.

The media have become better about elevating those voices. When Smith and Peratis were starting out decades ago, business and politics reporters were overwhelmingly male. As more women have become journalists, more attention is being paid to cases like these, and they are covered with a heightened sensitivity. Many of us have been there in one way or another.

Youd likely hear about even more harassment cases if companies hadnt gotten so adept at keeping claims quiet, through methods such as closed-door arbitration. Sophisticated HR departments are also better about education and training, Peratis said, so claims dont escalate.

Ultimately, though, there is no simple answer for why more women appear to be coming forward. The decision about whether to speak up is particular and personal. And the pressure to stay quiet is overwhelming. Its part of the air women breathe: He didnt mean anything. Hes just being friendly. Its something I did. I just need to be less friendly, dress differently, act professionally.

Though the culture has warmed to the idea that sexual discrimination is real, theres still a lot of pressure on women to just live with it. Susans mother and sister suggested she try to apologize to her boss for not hugging him. Whats wrong with a little embrace, her mom wondered.

Peratis said that the instinct to disbelieve women who come forward can be strong. Theres practically a genetic predisposition to disbelieve claims having to do with sex, she said, adding that until the 1970s you couldnt bring a rape case to court if the only witness was a woman.

The one thing that seems to unite these women is a clear sense of right and wrong. A strong belief in justice. Fowler writes in her blog that the way she was treated at Uber was bizarre. Another way of putting it: The treatment wasnt right.

Until somebody stands up, nothing is going to change. AJ Vandermeyden, Tesla employee

Until somebody stands up, nothing is going to change, AJVandermeyden, the woman who is suing Tesla, told The Guardianin a recent interview. Im an advocate of Tesla. I really do believe they are doing great things. That said, I cant turn a blind eye if theres something fundamentally wrong going on.

Susan told HuffPost over and over that she felt like what happened to her wasnt right. She finally stood up for herself just a few weeks after the presidential election, after six months on the job.

Over Thanksgiving, her boss texted her while she was home for the holiday. Was she making the meal for her family? When Susan said no, her mother was preparing Thanksgiving dinner, he typed, Good. Youre too cute to cook. He then added how grateful he was that she worked for him. Thank you for all you do, he wrote.

The presumptuousness of his texts infuriated her. She couldnt take it anymore. When she returned to work on Friday, Susan couldnt bring herself to hug him.

I knew there would be consequences, she says. I dont have to hug a man every day to come to work. This is not a job requirement.

Apparently, for her boss it was. When he didnt get his hug, the CEO locked eyes with Susan, she says. It was only for about 30 seconds, but it felt longer. His whole demeanor changed. I knew something was coming. It was like how you feel when you disappoint [a parent] or you break a rule and you know a consequence is coming.

Seven days later, Susan was fired. The human resources department said it had found her interpersonal skills to be lacking. Coming with no warning about her performance and just days after her boss had thanked her for her good work, Susan knew this was about the hugs.

She packed up and left, and, before she drove out of the parking lot, she sat in her car and stewed. I knew it wasnt right.

She found a lawyer who is working on settling Susans case with her former employer and believes theres a chance the CEO may be fired, her lawyer told HuffPost.

Sometimes people do get justice, Susan said.

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