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#and just bc someone is younger doesn’t mean their points are completely invalid
What is your opinion on straight passing privilege? I (bi) don’t think it exists, but a close (lesbian) friend of mine insists that it does bc “You can hold hands with your SO (nb cis passing man) in public without risking being the victim of a hate crime.” I have been researching but keep seeing this same argument coming up, and I’m unsure and don’t want to be making anyone upset if I’m being ignorant here.
I think that there's a lot of fucked up internet politics around who is and isn't allowed in the community. Which is ridiculous.
Gay, Lesbian, Bi, Pan, Poly, Ace, Aro, Trans, Intersex, etc.
The only people who shouldn't be in the community are cishets, and pedos, none of that 'it's a sexuality' nonsense, it's predation.
The concept of straight-passing is ridiculous, primarily because it's all based on assumptions. If you're in an m/f relationship, and you are both cis and heterosexual, it's straight.
But here's the catch, if you identify as any LGBPT+ then it's not straight.
Two trans people in an m/f relationship is not straight passing.
Two bi people in an m/f is not straight passing, it's queer babes, it's in the name. If you're bi and your partner is like, straight, it's still queer from your side of the fence.
It's the 'pick a side' argument from another direction, this straight passing nonsense. Where you are villified by the straights if you have a same-sex relationship (or fetishised, let's be real, every part of the acronymn has it's own p*rn category aimed at straight people with a kink), and if you have a relationship with the opposite gendered person, the queer community gets cranky.
Two things:
1) Is this friend between 13 and 25? Bc they could still be working this out or being mentored by t*rfs, or had some bad info. IT could be jealousy or fear of being open where you live. Perhaps you could question what makes her say that; has she had a bad experience, or did someone say this to her. where are you Are you in america? are there snake wielding jesus warriors near you? Blink SOS if you need an escape route, child
2) Who wins when everyone in the queer community is divided and policing one another? Telling everyone off for dating this person or that person or not at all
I didn't get an invite to the big queer conference to make these decisions, so like, they're not valid. It's some pocket of internet active idiots who think they can speak for everyone.
What we need to do is stop pulling this bullshit on one another and get back to asking just why the fuck it's not okay for people who are perceived as not-straight or cis etc to hold hands in public.
There's a problem for every facet of the acronym, babes and dudes and theys. Lesbians are heavily sexualised by straight cis dudes. Gays are heavly fetisihed by straight cis women. to the point where even saying 'I'm gay' is considered to be an obscene, sexual act that you should not let children be exposed to.
And there's always someone from the opposite gender who thinks they 'are confused' or 'haven't met the right (gender) person yet', or 'they could fix them with their magic genitals' or mumbled religious nonsense. There's such intense stereotypes that people can't stand women who look butch, but also you can't 'really' be a lesbian unless you are' or gay men can't just be, like, a normal dude, instead of some flamboyant in-your-face charicature.
Of course people who match the stereotype exist, too. And they get no respect for fitting into the stereptypes either, it's just another reason for disrespect. There's no winning.
Bi's can't talk to anyone without hearing a question of a threesome come up or being attacked from either side for coice of partner.
Pans, same, but also kitchenware jokes. Both Bi and Pan are considered sluts and whores and can't decide or are going to cheat, etc. Or the 'you're being special snowflakes', 'choose a side', 'you're secretly gay and won't admit / you're secretly straight and want attention' etc.
Ace/Aro - everyone under this banner gets the whole 'you just haen't found the right person' or 'when you're older/you're a late bloomer' or 'how do you know?' or 'maybe you're straight/gay and haven't worked it out yet?' invalidating them completely and trying to push sex onto them. The queer community has always let Ace and Aro in under the Bi banner, and they are welcome. But the internet community, usually young people, are tearing each other to shreds over it lmao.
Chill.
Non-binary, trans, intersex. They have been here for ages, but people from one community try to destroy their credibility, despite them existing since humanity has. It's big on p*rn and fetish sites too, lot of straight dudes think these things are hot and sexy, but would spit on trans people in the street. Hypocrites (I mean, every second low-brow comedy movie out there makes a thai-l*dyb*y joke, and how it 'doesn't count' like yikes).
Nb has only just been recognised, which is funny bc society literally made up gender and the rules and pretended that was how its encoded in DNA lmao.
Transpeople have it bad though. Between the cis straights, the cis queer community (primarily t*rfs and those who fall for misinformation) and the fetishists, and the medical community who treats them like an illness rather than people. Like, they are afforded respect if they 'pass', but even then it's still an EW factor.
Transwomen are seen as 'men in dresses who want to break into women's spaces' and treated horrifically; assaults are very high. Transmen are seen as butch women, and 'gender tr*itors' by the Crazy Motherfuckers we mentioned before; their assaults are high. They're not considered Real People unless they meet the ridiculously high standards for each gender; unless they perform Right.
I remember, but did not understand at the time bc I recall i was little, that there was a gameshpw bachelorette style and there was a big twist. You know what the twist was? That the bachelorette they'd been dating and trying to win over... was trans. I don't think that she knew it would be the big twist, either; of the two men remaining, bother were angry and one might have been sick. Might be on youtube.
But like, that's funny to the non-queer community. They put a huge fucking target on this woman's back, put her in danger of being hurt, abused, killed, by anyone who watched it. By the men who she had 'lied to' as they chose to frame it, of their weird white american families who could have sought revenge. Like yikes.
And intersex people (called h*rmaphrodites for a long time even by medical personnel) were also a p*rn category and/or medical curiosity for centuries. Not to mention all the cases of parents who just went with 'make them a (specific gender)' if there was mixed presentation, at birth, and got mad at the kids for being like "Hey so, you flipped the coin wrong and I'm ___" even thought the potential for this was always on the cards.
And the parents often make a big messa bout how their baby ___ is dead and gone, even if they DO accept the person/child as who they really are. It's like, I get it they have changed but you didn't mourn their first haircut or lost baby tooth like this and that was change too, chill.
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Straight-passing is a projection and a weapon. Like, is it the people in the relationship's fault that society looks at the pair and decides they are m/f, straight and cis? Nah, it's what people are conditioned assume and that's on them.
We can't bring it into the queer spaces and keep perpetuating that shit, because it's nonsense. Queer people are dying in other countries and your friend wants to being smart-assed about the fact you hold hands with your nb datemate in public?
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Nonsense. That's right up there with t*rfs and the gold-star bullshit that was going on for a few years there. Probs still is among the younger people lmaoooo.
'Passing priviledge' is a myth, and it is used to hurt people. Vulnerable people and those who need support / guidance and assistance from their queer communities more than ever. So try to talk to your friend or try The Whole Friend disposal services, either way, chill.
The real issue here is that any of us are at risk of a hate crime for daring to even show affection in public. That even in safe spaces, 'allies' and those wise enough not to be openly homo/trans/bi/pan/ace/aro/other phobic are still side-eyeing you and wanting to talk 'for you' without listening to the community itself.
We have bigger issues than this, and your friend (and some others on the internet) need to get a grip and prioritise.
[Insert strained analogy about being pro-child but childfree in a suburb where everyone got married out of high school and anticipates you and your partner will too, no matter how often you remind them No Thanks. But you babysat the other day and people thought you and your partner looked like 'naturals' when you took child to the park and played with them. And you remind them, hey, chill, we like kids too but it's not for us. And they get pissy and pushy.]
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I can only point it out from my perspective, I'm certain there other queer people from the above acronymn community who can present their thoughts on the matter to and what it means to them.
Thanks for the question, good-bi.
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yeaa since the 2 months since ive sent u those asks (i think it was 2 months ???? idk) ive had a few more minor crises over whether or not i was aro (&a more memorable one recently where i completely convinced myself out of it for a day) bc im dumb& constantly forget that as much as i like to debate over whether im capable of experiencing The Romantic Attraction i have yet to do so -H
also ??? i just realized ??? i always think of romance movies as too quick paced bc who gets together within a few days?? weeks?? months?? obviously u need to know them better before u know if ud be compatible dating. But No That's Not How It Works What The Fuck the only romantics i will accept in this world r demiromantics /lh /j theyre the only ones who make sense -H (i saw smth somewhere abt how u dated ppl to get to know them better& my view of the world shifted drastically within seconds)
wait that reminds me of how when i was younger (younger being like .. a year or two ago) i thought the purpose of dating was to eventually get married so middle school relationships baffled me bc ???? theyre not gonna last that long ???? whats the point ???? but nooo u date ppl bc u enjoy being around them or smth what the fuck when will this stuff stop being confusing -H (why do i even bother questioning if im aro sigh)
theres also alot of theories abt papyrus bc he doesnt appear at all in the game but i am pretending i do not see it i will wait for canon -H
just realized i have no idea whether uve played deltarune but .. im just gonna assume u have ?? if not .. oops ?? i think i was gonna say smth else not pertaining to undertale originally but i got distracted give me a moment -H
oh wait yea i was gonna uh .. gender !! ! me too ! ! i am .. noncis. im not rly comfortable w using trans& nb is ok but .. i do technically identify w my agab so its not rly right. .. so uhhh im arogender !. !! im not sure how much i relate to the def but its also the only label ive found that feels right so ive uh just been using it -H (bc its not as much that my lack of romantic attraction affects my gender than it is uh my gender feels like my aromanticism ???but its a little of both i think)
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Gosh, I am still so sorry it took me two months to answer those other asks, I was way out of my own head for a while there. Thank you for being patient with me lol
And hey, remember: sexuality and romanticism and gender are all fluid. For some people, they change and shift over time. So if you’re aro now, and later on you realize you’re grayro or demiro or something like that, that’s valid. That doesn’t make the time you spent identifying as aro any less valid, either. This is a lifelong journey, for many people, probably including myself tbh. And who even says you need a label anyways? If you want one, then by all means, find one you’re comfy with, but you don’t need one if it’s stressing you out too much. But, hey, identify as aro for now if you want to. If later on you choose to change that, that doesn’t invalidate you or anyone else. It’s okay.
And yeah, big agree, romance movies always seemed p rushed to me lol. I’m here like “what do you mean people date each other to get to know each other??” Like, my aspec self does not understand lol. I think it’s likely why I’m so into friends-to-lovers/mutual pining/slow burn type stuff when I read shippy fics lol, I can’t vibe with the faster-paced stuff because it seems so unrealistic as someone who doesn’t experience the world like alloromantics (and allosexuals) do. Also, I also grew up thinking the point of dating was finding a spouse, but that’s because I was raised in the church and that’s what my dad raised us to believe, and also why my parents’ rule was “no dating before 16 years of age minimum”
I’ve played most of deltarune but I got stuck and then my computer reset and I didn’t finish it lol. But I watched Jacksepticeye play the whole thing!! It’s just been a while so it’s hazy, I didn’t obsess over it as heavily as I did Undertale back in 2015/2016 lol. Still very excited for what comes next though, even though I’m not super caught up with the background lore and the fan theories lol.
Your gender is so valid kiddo, you do you. I usually refer to you with they/them in my head, is that chill or do you have different pronouns you use? I realized I had never thought to ask before even though I really should have lol
I hope you’re doing well!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
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rosy-cosmos · 3 years
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the worst part is that i still love this ship despite some of the shippers
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blccdsport · 7 years
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the hacker and the detective: a lenry!au
❝ although you love me, sometimes  we're mean, things can get ugly, but  we're still a team, we are an army,  that breaks from within, but that's why  we're stronger, and that's how we'll win❞ 
@sh4m3less
so, basically while watching this show lately it’s had me thinking about a lenry!au, mainly because it just seems like it genuinely fits them as an au? which is always cool considering they’re probably the hardest ship to fit to any au’s because they’re difficult and problematic™.
anyway, i’m a sucker for making aesthetic’s and i really wanted to for this so that’s a thing. i’m gonna explain kinda the whole plot/idea of what this is about below so enjoy n whatnot.  as usual, if anything seems inaccurate to you or you can’t see it hit me up w/that good shit aka call me the fuck out yo. 
playlist:  because look it’s another thing i’m a slut for, playlists!! to be honest, some of the songs on there are ones i legit just took from a lenry playlist that already exists but w/e. and to be honest, i came across a couple of songs that fit them out of this au too and tbh it was a good time like i’m loving some of these okay shutting up now.
https://open.spotify.com/user/thelittlestmermaid./playlist/0qN62fP9Lm50jBF9iaJul0
plot:
okay so, i wanted to try dodge a part of the tv show plot because i wasn’t sure about applying it to liz but one, it’s an au so, and two, it’s kind of necessary in a way. but basically, in the show at the very very beginning, the main character’s little sister gets kidnapped like, right in front of her, and there wasn’t anything she could actually do about it and it was really messed up. while i couldn’t see it happening in terms of lowri/liz because i just genuinely can’t picture it, part of me considered it happening with liz/karma? just because karma is younger and like the main character in the show she feels a responsibility for her so when she’s kidnapped it really messed her up. 
anyway, that’s key to the plot because the police literally don’t do much in terms of helping, well, liz, find karma. which leads her to take matters into her own hands. instead, she sets up an online chat group for other people in a similiar situation and using the information she’s given by people she speaks to, she hacks into different websites to try and help others find their lost loved ones. which also means going as far as hacking into the police databases. 
at some point, the nypd begin to catch on to her, and so they send someone undercover to try and get close to liz and find out if she’s really fucking with their systems and what in general she’s actually up to. which in this case, the guy they send under cover is henry’s partner. so, mr. partner flirts his way into liz’s life and into her business and they kinda get this thing going and eventually he catches her out and realizes she’s been hacking a bunch of different websites like not just the police databases but like, she’s a literal pro hacker so basically they end up putting her on parole for like six months. which, liz is majorly fucked off about not just because helo she’s stuck with a fucking ankle monitor and is now a known criminal because she liked the guy too? and he just kinda completely fucked her over and no not okay.
so, eventually she gets out on parole and whatnot, but the day she goes to get her monitor removed mr. partner is chilling there waiting for her and liz is v v bitter like ?? pal wyd here? and he basically explains he thinks he should be the one to clear her and she’s kinda lmao why because you’re the reason it’s there orrrrr? but mr. partner guy apologizes for what happened n stuff and is basically lowkey still tryna get in her pants because he liked her too and whatever.
okay so, in the show this chick has this rly cute best friend n she owns a club and she’s just, i love her a lot she’s a great character which, in this au i see being liv? like, liz and liv would be living together or at least how i see it like i’m just going off the show here okay. and liv has this really cool underground club and just, yes. but so liz comes to said club like lmfao guess who just cleared me blah blah. 
so, then a little later on liz n liv are going back to said club and liv mentions that she set liz up on a dating app because honey u need to get over mr. detective this bad. which liz is super ?!?! about at first because rip why. but anyway liz ends up chillin’ in this club and basically being approached by a bunch of guys from this app for the rest of the night n whatnot cool cool. that probably doesn’t seem important but the dating app thing is to the general plot oKAy.
so, she decided to leave which helo welcome to her first encounter w/henry since she seen him last which was likely when she was getting put on parole tbh. so, basically from minute one it’s legit just :)))))))) with one another bc fucking hate ur guts well i hate urs too. but henry basically calls her out like, you know you were on parole you weren’t supposed to put your hands near a computer n shit. because the entire time she’s gotten herself a job at a big corporation company where she can easily do her little hacking work and try help find missing people on a completely different server rather than her home one and he’s like. :-)))) if i was you :-)))) i’d get a job in a big company where i can camouflage myself :-)))) also :-))) we have several invalid log ins to the missing persons debatable js js :-))))) sounds kinda like you :-))))) which has liz like well lol someone has got to do the job that you won’t so. and henry is kinda like lol just because my partner ol’ pal has a thing for you doesn’t mean i won’t arrest you if i need to soOooO.
so liz walks off after that and while she’s on her way back to her n liv’s she gets a text like hey was rly good meeting you tonight to which she’s like ?? new phone who dis? and in the process almost gets hit by a car because no looking where she’s going which the next text ends up being “ouch, that could’ve hurt.” aka leaving liz like?? what the actual fuck?? so the minute she gets home basically she starts searching up each of the guys she spoke to like trying to find out who the fuck it was and in the process gets sent a bunch of pictures from when she almost got hit by the car and she realizes her webcam is on and what the frickle someone is watching me? 
but anyway she talks it out with liv when she gets back and liz decided she wants to go on a date with three of the guys from the app she was using because she suspects its one of those guys. so flash forward to the dates, which are back in that same club n liz is chilling like talking to these guys one at a time and convinces them with an excuse of finding this really addictive game on her phone for them to give her theirs so she can ‘download it’ which in that case she actually installs a tracker and allows herself the access into their phones whenver she pleases. while this is happening liv was lowkey a lil concerned because mm i don’t really want my friend dying so mr. detective ends up there which liz does not likey at all whatsoever because he realizes what she’s doing with the hacking shit and tries to get her to stop the whole date thing.
also, bonus is in that scene the best friend is like “i thought this guy was cheating on me once.. i know, what idiot would cheat on me? but i got her to hack his phone and i watched his every move.” and idk that seems very liv which make’s me laugh like just that start bit.
anyway, liz accidentally picks up one of the wrong phones n goes to retrieve her phone from the one guy that it was but lmAo. because when she does find the guy plot twist he’s dead.
so, she instantly goes to detective boi n his partner aka our fave grump henry haddock. and basically they tried to find where the texts were coming from but it’s just, it’s amusing because she asks to use one of the computers and the guy i basically see henry as is like lol if you can behave yeah maybe. and then legit two seconds later liz takes out this usb like lol so hey this isn’t legal and he’s just ??????? *insert v dramatic eye roll here.*
but it’s just a lot of, her showing them the fact she hacked into the dating app and then cross referenced it to the nypd database which results in just banter between her n henry because he’s just ?? ffs woman?? 
but they figure out that someone is using the app to stalk n kill people so that’s a thing too.
anYWay. so, mr. detective takes liz home n doesn’t wanna let her out of his sights because yano she’s being stalked by a possible serial killer so. but that basically turns into the two of them hooking up n there’s feelings there and all that good shit so.
okay so, while liz is at work in the shitty business place, her computer gets hacked by this stalker serial killer guy and he shows footage of inside her and liv’s apartment which liv is currently walking around in and basically liz is like !! fuck !! because it shows a figure walking around in all black and liz calls her but she doesn’t answer and so she calls detective guy and is freaking out tf. so both her and detective guy start heading toward the apartment and just as liz calls liv again she’s like ?? honey like i’m at the club what are you talking about i’m fine?? aka liz is now like holy fucking shit it was a recording and cop guy is up there and fuck because he’s now not answering his phone either. 
so when liz does get to the apartment there is this weird mannequin doll sitting w/a laptop and when the screen lights up mr cop guy is on there and he starts getting all !! please don’t come looking for me !! but liz recognizes where he is which is the roof of their apartment building so she goes up looking for him and well :-))))))))))))))))))
:-)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
did you guess it??? he’s dead lmfao. 
but he’d called backup before he came so lol henry lands up to the roof and o there’s a very upset usually sassy blonde and o there’s my dead partner well fuck and tbh in the show he legit drags the chick away from the body which is kinda an emotional time i cried my lil bitch ass heart out but anywho.
i liTERALLY JUST WROTE THE ENTIRE FULL FIRST EPISODE AM I OKAY.
i’m trying not to miss any details even though it’s just an au like i’m not trying to be super specific to the show or anything but it’s just there’s a lot of little things that i felt need to explained and added in because they’re important to the general plot?
but basically like, after that i mean i haven’t watched all the episodes yet but i’m genuinely fucking living for the idea of liz and henry then working together. because in the show that’s what happens originally liz is working alone like she always does and she’s back flirting with the two guys from the app from before and trying to figure out which one killed detective guy but it’s fucking with henry’s plan because he’s trying to catch both those guys also because they’re suspects and she’s making it rly difficult when she’s around them too. and there’s this whole scene where he’s parked outside the club and ends up calling her because she walks out with the guy like. :-))))))) we found a body this morning :-))))))) js js :-))))))))))) stop fucking with my shit :-))))))))))) so liz chick is like hA SHIt oKAY goTta GET mE OutTA thiS. coOL Cool. 
but then liz gets approached by a member of the nypd who has figured out that she’s been working the case herself and brings her in like look we could help you and you could help us yano yano. so she teams up with them and it’s beneficial for them both because they get to keep an eye on her and she gets to use their resources. but henry doesn’t appreciate this?? no?? wtf?? get her out?? this bitch fr?? especially because liz decides she’s gonna go on a date with one of the guys they’ve figured is their top suspect of the moment and she has to wear one of those mic’s on her dress and henry guy has to follow the car there and shit.
whICH
THERE IS LITERALLY ONE OF THE BEST SCENES AT THAT POINT AND IT FUCKS ME UP OKAY. 
because liz chick is standing across the street from where he’s parked like. 
“testing testing, how do i look? say what you want it’s not like i can hear you anyway” 
bUT HE FUCKING
SAYS
“beautiful”
anD YOU’RE LIKE
FAM
TF
???????????????????????//
but it’s just like, once she started working with the nypd it hit me how this could be made into a lenry au? because they’re super sassy with one another and it’s basically how lenry are/were with like, it’s very clear they dislike one another but over time feelings v v much grow and it’s just a fucking shitshow tbh because they’re both so ?? i mean basically lenry so it fits like a glove fr. 
BUT LIKE. I WAS THINKING OF THE CANONS THAT COME FROM THAT LIKE. SO SO SO MANY GOOD CANONS OKAY. 
like legit, the entire time she was on the fake date i kept thinking of it as lenry in tha position which it kinda fucks me up because the stalker guy like, hacks into this boat bridge so that henry guys car has to stop following liz girl and her date and momentarily her signal disapears and you can see him genuinely start to freak out like he’s really fucking mad and you’re like what the fuck you care?? what/? bUT IDK MAN OKAY I’M JUST LIVING FOR THIS AND THE AESTHETIC IN GENERAL OF LIKE, LIZ AS A HACKER?? AND HENRY AS A DETECTIVE?? LIKE?? CAN WE??
because i feel like it’s not even unrealistic roles to put them into either?? i’m just really living for this okay so i just needed to share the whole idea of it and whatnot
and it’s just, on top of all the development of their relationship they’re still trying to find this killer/stalker?? and there’s a lot of people still dying and just general shit going down like. 
and the killer keeps leaving clues for liz chick like she figures out why he’s doing what he’s doing and what his method is? which is basically that people portray themselves as perfect and whatnot on social media so when he meets them in real life he finds their flaws and it makes him angry so he targets their flaws in his method of killing. the reason he’s so intrigued by liz chick is because he believes she’s perfect so.
but also like, the best friend throws liz chick a surprise birthday party which at that party the best friend is busy and henry guy was there for a little bit because he had walked up to her apartment with her because there was word that the stalker guy was still out doing stuff and whatever but he leaves because he gets a call but while everyone is distracted liz chick starts feeling really fucked up and then stalker guy kidnaps her but it’s literally only so he can make her watch as he kills one of their suspects and it’s just super fucked up so all this shit would be going on too and just yep.
now to fade out into oblivion because this is ridiculously long noice noice. adios. 
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