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#and janet omg what a flirt
ashes-writing · 10 months
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stranger things ● forever pt 5 ● s.harrington
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warnings
[ multi chapters ] your daughter calls Steve daddy + baby talk -cannot stress enough that she's 3 and she's still grasping speech and language but like.. writer doesn't want to overdo it so... yeah. robin and barb and robin trying to muster up the nerve to make a move -it's not fun having to hide your true self and being gay back then was not a picnic so.. angst about that. heavy sexual tension/physical attraction (mutual, duh), swearing, things seem like they're moving fast but there is a good time lapse between each part so.. yeah. having a kid written by a person who does not... female reader with female parts / a connection to Robin and a past/personality + an adorable lil kid.
word count + prev. part
5452 exactly
part four <- can be reached by clicking.
summary
“It’s not!” you’re laughing. But there’s this small part of you that cannot deny that lately, since you and Steve have gotten closer and opened up to each other more, there’s something different between you.
He’s more touchy. He teases you more. You caught yourself flirting with him on more than one occasion because you couldn’t resist doing it and it happened before you could catch yourself. There’s the way you seem to lack a sense of boundaries when he’s around.
And Robin isn’t wrong, you’re starting to find it really hard to resist just going for it.
“Everybody hasn’t noticed because it’s not like that.” you insist.
taglist + shoutouts
<< taglist here >> just click & add ig. if you're here for gareth/eddie or other ST men, lemme know and I won't tag you on this.
@allelitesmut @tbmunson - bestie ilysm omg i hope you're having a great day!! @chaoticcancer @caravelofthesun @dylanwritesgood @just-a-blue-nerd @eddiemuns0nl0ver @slyisbehindyou @spaceconveyor
other links
masterlist ● steve's masterlist ● about + rules
FIVE
“ She told me she wishes he was her daddy.” you’re munching on some french fries from Wendy’s as you watch Steve and Stevie down at the pond, feeding the ducks together. Steve has Stevie sitting on his shoulders and you can hear her laughter as it echoes through the park.
You can’t stop staring. Your eyes roam freely. You tell yourself that if you can’t be with him, you can stare as much as you like but honestly, you’re not stupid. All you’re managing to do is torture yourself every single time you wind up doing it.
Barb laughs softly and Robin snickers at the faraway look in your eyes as they glue themselves to Steve’s body all over again. You’ve been stealing glances a lot more lately. 
You got so caught up in it when everyone met to hang out at the pool two afternoons ago that you nearly face planted the door to the women’s restroom just because he went off the high dive, answering a dare that guy across the street who works as a lifeguard gave him.
“Pick your jaw up off the table, woman.”
You jump a little, broken out of your daze by your cousin’s teasing so you flip her off. The two of you share a look and while Barb is busy grabbing herself a soda from the vending machine nearby, you smile at your cousin. “You need to do something, okay? Who cares what anybody thinks? Screw them. And I don’t see aunt Janet being as horrified as you have yourself believing she will be. Now grandma Ethel.. Possibly. But she clutches pearls at everything, Robbie.”
“You do something and maybe I will. You’re the older one. Lead by example.”
“Robin..” you sigh and shake your head, taking another bite of your double cheeseburger. Groaning at the taste as it fills your mouth because you haven’t really eaten anything today. It’s been busy at the office.
In a desperate bid to change the subject because you’ve told your cousin so many times exactly why you can’t just  throw caution to the wind and the more you have to tell her, the more convincing her arguments are as to why you can -and should, do that very thing are starting to become.. In a desperate bid to get off the current topic and on to a new one, you speak up.
“I think I might have found an apartment. We can go look at it later.. If you wanna come with me?”
“You and sparkles should stay with mom and I longer.” Robin shakes her head. Pouting a little. “I don’t wanna lose my little buddy.. Or you and our nighttime talks. C’mon, it hasn’t been that bad.”
“It hasn’t. But I need to stand on my own again too. Like.. I know this is putting a huge strain on aunt Janet as far as money goes. And if I’m living in my own place, it won’t be as bad. They just gave me a raise and more hours.”
Robin’s still not thrilled, but she nods. “Yeah, okay. But you’re still stuck with me, woman.” “Duh.. We have a blood pact. Remember?” you laugh and so does she. “Where is the apartment?” she asks after a second or two. You’re distracted, watching Steve and Stevie again, he’s pushing her on the swings now. “Hm?” you ask as you take a sip of your vanilla Frosty.
“Woman, oh my god.. If you don’t do something it’s going to drive you insane. And lately, whenever you two are around each other, the air’s almost heavy enough to choke somebody. Everybody notices it.”
“It’s not!” you’re laughing. But there’s this small part of you that cannot deny that lately, since you and Steve have gotten closer and opened up to each other more, there’s something different between you.
He’s more touchy. He teases you more. You caught yourself flirting with him on more than one occasion because you couldn’t resist doing it and it happened before you could catch yourself. There’s the way you seem to lack a sense of boundaries when he’s around.
And Robin isn’t wrong, you’re starting to find it really hard to resist just going for it.
“Everybody hasn’t noticed because it’s not like that.” you insist.
Barb laughs as she slips down onto the bench right next to Robin and hands her a Tab. “Okay, am I allowed to call bullshit? Because that is exactly what you’ve just said is… Total bullshit. Everybody’s noticed it, ___.”
“There’s nothing to notice! We’re friends.” you insist.
“Friends don’t look like they’re a second away from kissing each other, ___. Which is exactly what you two looked like the other night when we all went to see that movie together at Starcourt.” Robin is patient when she says it. Laughing as she remembers turning to find Steve dragging his thumb over the butter smeared on your cheeks. Or later, finding you leaned against him, the two of you and Stevie whispering back and forth as you all stared up at the screen and shared popcorn from the same mega sized bucket.
Or even later, when the crowd leaving the theater as the movie ended got so thick that Robin watched as Steve pulled one of his patented Harrington moves out, resting his hand against the small of your back as you all wandered out.  
She’s annoyed that neither of you are willing to budge but it’s oh so painfully obvious.
“Even Eddie’s asked if you have something going on! And Eddie, he’s practically the most oblivious guy on Earth!” Robin insists, throwing up her hands in exasperation as you calmly shake your head no and insist all over again, “He’s not into me like that. I’d know it if he were! Body language expert, remember?”
“My ass you are.” Robin grumbles, the two of you flipping each other off as your laughter dies away.
“Where’s the apartment?”
You cringe a little because you know your cousin well enough to know that when you tell her it’s over that one bar on the wrong side of town, she’s not going to be thrilled. And honestly, you’re not either.
But you refuse to keep burdening your aunt and you know it’s putting a strain on her  having two more mouths and more of a mess to keep up with. You help as much as you can. And you really love being there, you just know that you need to stand on your own again.
“Okay, there’s a teeeny flaw with the place.”
“I’m not liking it already.” Robin’s shaking her head, taking a sip of her  soda after she’s opened the tab. 
“It’s over that bar on the way out of town. The owner.. He uh.. He came in to the office for a consult and he mentioned that he was going to open up the empty units and start renting them out. He told me if I did all my own repairs and stuff he’d knock it off the rent, too. And he’s only charging like… I think he said 400 a month for a two bedroom?”
“Absolutely not. Do you know how often the cops are called to that place? And Eddie’s band, they played there once, said there was a brawl in the middle of their set so bad that an ambulance had to be called.”
Barb speaks up. “Wasn’t Steve looking at a place, Robbie? And it’s near the school. It’s one of the two that the guy who owns the Post just opened up and completely remodeled.”
You give both of them a playful dirty look. “Mhm, like it’s not obvious what you’re getting at.” you laugh as you finish off your Frosty. “I’d fold like a deck of cards if I had to live with him.” you’re doing it again, staring at him openly as you fan yourself with a stack of napkins. “And it’s not even like.. Okay, he’s fucking gorgeous, don’t get me wrong. But that’s not even why I fell in the first place.” you nod to the way he’s waiting on Stevie at the end of the big spiral shaped slide on the playset, “Its the way he is with her. It’s the way he treats everybody.. Like.. I can’t explain it but god, it just turns me on.”
“Because he’s a good guy. He has changed a lot since high school. But anyway, why not look at the place Steve is looking at? You guys are getting to know each other and you’ve gotten to be really good friends.” Barb’s looking at you, giving you a smirk that only makes you stick out your tongue at her. “I just told you why, B! If I live with that man, I will fold like laundry.”
“That’s kind of why she suggested it. One of you needs to, jesus.. The tension is getting to the rest of us outside the little bubble the three of you have formed lately…” Robin laughs and shakes her head. “So stubborn. Why keep fighting it? What if it ends up being amazing? I mean, you said it yourself. He’s good with her. He’s good to you.. To everyone, actually. Why not just go for it?”
“What if it completely blows up though?” you counter, biting your lip. “I can’t.. I won’t put her through what Jenna put me through.”
“Speaking of.. She called last night. I dunno what she said to Mom but Mom exploded. It was great. She told her she was the worst mother to ever exist and hung up. Told her to call back when it wasn’t about something she wanted or something she needed.”
“She didn’t even ask about Stevie.” you guess, frowning and rolling your eyes when Robin’s look confirms it. You shrug. “It’s her loss. We’re fine without her.”
“Definitely.” Robin agrees, reaching out to steal some of the fries you have left.
“Will you guys just come with me to look at the place? Please?” you ask them both, giving them a pleading look.
“Fine.. But I’m not gonna like it.”
“And I agree with her.”
You laugh and slip off the bench, making your way over to where Steve and Stevie are by the swings again. Stevie loves the swings. The day before, you brought her to the park and she refused to leave until she’d spent at least an hour swinging. An hour that you happily obliged because one day, she’ll be older and you already know that you’re going to miss this.
You take advantage of every little moment you’re allowed because they’re moments you won’t ever be able to get back.
CONTINUED
“Daddy! Higher! My feet almost touch clouds!”
When she says it, she’s giggling. Her eyes squeezed shut against harsh afternoon sun. Smiling so big that it’s probably ten times brighter than the sun itself. Steve is frozen and at first, he doesn’t know how to respond.
All he knows is that when she calls him Daddy, he finds himself wishing that it wasn’t just an accidental slip-up. That he really was her father. Because that’d mean he got both of you, all to himself for the rest of your lives. If it were true, nothing would make him happier.
The swing comes back down, Steve catches it and brings it to a stop. "Higher, huh?" he laughs as he locks eyes with you because you're standing nearby, watching. He's gazing down at Stevie now and he chuckles. "Dunno if it's a good idea, scout." 
"Pwease?" She's begging and it's adorable. He still can't decide what to do about her calling him Daddy, so for the time being, selfish as it might be, maybe he just pretends that he is. And that she's his little girl, the two of you are his girls.
Everything feels better, he notices, when he pretends like it's true and he acts like it's true. He doesn't feel as alone until later on when he actually is alone and the realization sets in all over again.
A brunette nudges you in your side, nodding to Steve as he pushes your daughter in the swings.
"Hi."
"Hey." you turn your attention to her after calling out to Stevie not to hang the way she is off the swing. "Something you want?"
"Is Steve her father?"
You shake your head. Smile fading a little. One, because you're pretty sure her entire reason for asking has everything to do with her interest in Steve and this makes you just a little jealous and two, without even realizing it, you were kind of imagining what it might be like if things were totally different. If Steve was actually her father. If the two of you were together.
"She called him daddy. Just now." the brunette states. "Either he is or he isn't." and she's pretty sure he's no, after all they were close friends, there's no way he could've hidden something this massive from her and Tommy. And she likes to think he wouldn't have attempted it, either. But the little girl calling her best friend daddy did make 
"He isn't. Closest thing she's known t' one though."
"She looks like he did when we were all kids." and it hits Carol that she hasn't actually introduced herself yet. She laughs quietly and palms her face. "I'm Carol. Steve is an old friend. The two boys on the slide are mine." she points out her sons and you smile. Stevie is racing towards you and you drop, holding your arms out for her as Steve jogs over behind her, laughing. 
Carol watches as you scoop up the little girl and cover her face in noisy kisses. Steve is staring at you, oh you can bet she picks right up on that. And she's thinking about the way you were all soft eyed and staring as he pushed the cute little girl on the swings just now.
,,this is what he deserves. He needs to find the confidence he had in high school and just go for it already because the air is so thick between them I cannot breathe." 
"Carol."
"Steve." she smiles, giving him a thumbs up as she nods to you and Stevie. Steve raises a brow because usually, Carol is nothing if not a harsh critic of anyone he dates or shows interest in and it only doubled down after things ended with Nancy.
"What's her name?"Carol's attention turns back to you and she's smiling. Curious, with the strong feeling that Steve is definitely falling hard and fast for you because he's gone into protective mode without even seeming to realize. She knows because he's stepped closer to you and Stevie as if to shield you both. 
"Stevie." you answer. She smiles, nodding towards the slides again. "Tommy and Hunter."
Carol makes her way over to the slide where her sons are and Steve gives you an apologetic smile. "She wasn't like…rude or anything, right?"
But you're distracted, between what she revealed to you about Stevie looking a lot like Steve and Carol revealing that Stevie called Steve daddy, you have a lot on your mind at the moment.
Steve repeats his question and you smile, you shake your head no. "No, she wasn't."
You're just wondering.. how did Steve react to your little girl calling him Daddy? 
And more importantly, how should you react to it?
CONTINUED
"Yeah, I don't like this place." this is said by Steve who offered to come over and really look at the little two bedroom apartment you were told about earlier in the week. Robin speaks up next. "What is that smell?" and Barb asks the same question. "I'm agreeing with them."
"It's not that bad." You're wandering around the empty space. It's bigger and brighter than your old apartment. And considering it's over a bar, the floor is so thick that barely any noise seeps up through worn hardwood flooring. "It's bigger than the last one."
" I just don't think this is a good idea, __." Steve repeats. The door lock isn't the best but honestly, that's the least of the things he's noticed. He can tell you're determined but so is he. "There's other places, ___. Maybe we should look at em before you decide anything."
"Yeah, I'm going to agree with the dingus here."
"I'm agreeing with Robin. And Steve."
You're not entirely sold on the place either but you're determined to find something soon. You've never been the kind to wear out your welcome and you're just so used to doing everything alone that you don't know how to take help when it's offered.
Or this is what both Robin and your aunt keep telling you.
"Okay. Alright. I'll look a little more." you promise the three of them. Stevie stirs in your arms and buries her nose down in your neck. "Mama, somethin stink."
"We're leaving now, cupcake." you laugh softly. "Good. Smell make me wanna barf." she grumbles. “Don’t wanna live here cos it stinky. Like old cheese. Feet.”
All of you wander out, Robin and Barb getting into Barb's car and after you've fastened Stevie into her carseat, you get into the passenger seat of your Mustang. Steve's driving like he usually offers to whenever everyone goes out together lately and you decide to take your car. As he merges in traffic, he speaks up. "You'll find somethin better."
"Not at that price. And it's two bedrooms."
"There was a murder in the alley behind the place..this guy I know..Jim..he worked the scene. I think it was like..my junior year?"
"Oh. Yeah, I didn't know that."
"People don't talk about it a lot." Steve answers. "That place is dangerous. Just trust me."
You nod before you even realize you've done it. You, the headstrong and argumentative, stubborn one. You, the one who always does whatever she wants whenever she wants. And when you realize that you're just going along now, you're stunned to a state of silence. 
He pulls into the spot next to Barb's Volvo and kills the engine and nods to the car seat in your back seat. "She's out."
"She sleeps so well when she goes for a ride." you tell him as you quietly pull open your door. As you're unfastening her seatbelt, she looks up at you all groggy from her nap. "Wan' daddy t' carry me."
Your breath hangs and you're frozen. It was fine when she'd do this, call him that whenever it was just you two. You usually just gently remind her that she can't blurt it out and she needs to call him Steve or Mr.Steve. But she's just done it all over again right in front of him.
Steve is about to speak up and say something strictly because he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable or anything, and he figures you're about to anyway. But then, instead of saying anything, you turn to him with an apologetic smile. "I keep telling her she can't do it when we're not alone, that you might not like it."
As he starts to realize what you're getting at, he's stunned speechless. The implication that she's done this before..that she does it a lot when it's just the two of you and the further implication that you're okay with it.. the smallest glimmer of hope is in bloom and the wheels are turning in his mind. 
"I got her." he reaches out to take Stevie and she wraps little arms around his neck and yawns because she's beginning to wake up. "Good nap, wasn't it?"
"Mhm." Stevie answers. "Now I sooooo hungry."she giggles. You gape at him. "How is it she's not a little grouch right now? She's a grouch waking up for me?"
Steve shrugs. Smirks a little as he pulls open the door to the diner just in time to come face to face with Nancy, Jonathan and Jonathan's friend Argyle as they come out with grease stained bags. Upon seeing him, Nancy is kind of frozen, definitely shocked to see Steve with a little girl in his arms and even more shocked that she's seeing just a hint of the side he opened up to her when they were together.
,, everyone kept telling me he met someone. They all said he was finally happy again. And that weird rumor that he had a kid and somehow nobody knew.. I can see why it started."
"Hey Steve."
"Nance. Hey. You haven't left yet?" and it's honestly no an act to make her think he's okay this time, this is what shocks him most. He's honestly just been so busy lately, he's been so preoccupied with fighting the nightmares, the mess Vecna left in his head when he was done with him and since the end of April, his feelings and the attachment he's forming with Stevie and you that honestly, he hasn't given her a whole lot of thought. Lately, he's given her none at all and when this hits him, he's more than a little shocked. 
"We leave next week.. Monday?" she looks to Jonathan as if she's not sure and he smiles and nods. "Yeah. Monday…hey, we're having a get together with everyone this weekend. You guys should come." Nancy looks from Steve to you as she says it. Her gaze lingers on you just a little longer. Taking in the way you’ve molded yourself right against Steve’s side and you’re standing just a little taller. As if to protect him.
Steve starts to say no. But between the tension you're picking up on and you'd die before admitting it, the slightest bit of jealousy and anger you feel upon meeting the ex girlfriend, you speak up before he gets a chance. "We can if you want to, Steve. It's up to you." you’re trying to act as a buffer. 
Pretending things between you and Steve are more serious. More intimate than they actually are all while coming to the realization that his ex girlfriend is a very good and clear reminder as to why he’d never willingly settle for you. Nancy’s beautiful and she’s got this good girl look about her. Not to mention, her life is together and yours, well.. You make yourself stop thinking too hard and picking yourself apart before you get too deep into doing it.
His brow raises. And he tells himself there's no way, you can't be jealous, but there's just something about the way you melt into his side just a little more..and of course, the tiniest hint of mischief in those beautiful eyes of yours as you look up to hold his gaze as you're doing it, as if you do it all the time. He chuckles. "We'll try, Nance. I'm not promising anything."
"Mama, can you take me to bathroom?" Stevie speaks up, reaching for you. "Wait for you inside?" you ask Steve, glad your daughter needs to use the bathroom because the more you stand there, the more you compare yourself to his ex. The more you tell yourself there's no way he'd just settle for you and your jealousy -as well as the knee jerk reaction it caused just now, are pointless.
You go in with Stevie and Steve is left to stand there. This is made further awkward when Jonathan steals a kiss before walking away to Argyle's van. This leaves the two of them alone.
Nancy laughs. 
"What?" Steve raises a brow.
"She really likes you. A lot. Robin said it was obvious but wow.." Nancy smiles up at him and keeps laughing, " You feel something too. Didn't almost dying teach you anything, Steve?"
Steve blows out a breath and shifts his feet. "Yeah."
"So do something! You could have your dream life. Don’t you want that?"
He nods.
She fluffs his hair and goes to step past him, pausing for a few seconds. "You'll be okay.. i.. I was worried about you after…you know.. I just want you to be happy. Like me." and with a smile, she's gone. Rushing over to the van just as the rain starts.’
 Steve lingers for a minute, trying to figure out where she came to the conclusion that you like him as much as she seemed to think. Mulling over the advice she gave that he didn't ask for.
You're sitting in the booth with Robin and Barb, feeding Stevie fries as you watch the two of them outside but try to make it seem as if you're not. And of course, Robin picks right up on it and clears her throat. You nod to them. "Yeah, if that's not a reminder of why I need to ignore the way I feel…" you muse as you take some fries for yourself. Barb and Robin share a look and then they're both looking at you.
"What? You see her! She's a knockout and she's got her life together."
"She really doesn't, though." Barb speaks up, laughing to herself. Robin agrees. "You need to stop ignoring it and do something about it. What happened, huh? You used to be the brave one?"
You laugh and roll your eyes. "Yeah, when it comes to dumb stuff. Emotional risks have never been my thing."
"The fact that you sit here so confidently convinced that he doesn't feel the same way when everyone knows that he does. I can't. You're the single most stubborn.." Robin laughs and Barb laughs with her, slipping fries out of the shared tray between them.
Steve wanders in and as he makes his way over to the table, Barb nudges Robin and leans in, whispering against her ear, "Okay, whatever Nance said to him… he's looking more like King Steve right now than he has in a really long time.."
"Maybe he's finally going to do something." Robin adds, nodding in agreement. Your breath hangs in your throat when instead of grabbing a chair and pulling it to the booth like usual, Steve seats himself in the space beside you. As his designer cologne envelopes you and your sides brush, you need to go pull yourself together. "I'll be right back."
You hurry to the bathroom and when Robin peeks in a few seconds later and sees you visibly flustered, trying to pull yourself together, she doubles over laughing and steps inside. "You okay?"
"I, uh… never better?" you're trying to pull yourself together because the way he looked at you when you locked eyes before you rushed in the restroom to cool down.. you can still feel it's effects. And the scent of his cologne surrounding you, the way he sat down and got as close to you as he could get.
It's all combined to do a number on you.
"You're in for it now." Robin muses,  giving you a smirk. She knows something you don't, of that, you're certain.
"Huh?"
Robin shrugs. "Oh trust me. You'll figure it out. Especially if what I think is about to happen actually happens."
"Context?"
"Oh no.. no, because if I do that, you won't believe me."
"Seriously?" 
"As a heart attack."
CONTINUED
Your red Mustang pulls to a stop in the driveway of your aunt's trailer. Stevie is sleeping in the back, in her car seat and as Steve kills the engine and holds out your keys, he closes his hand around yours when you reach for them. Steps as close as he can and when he does, your breath promptly hangs in your throat.
"If Stevie calling you that earlier…if it bothers you.."
"It doesn't." Steve looks over at you, "does it bother you?" and for a few seconds, he's searching your face for something..any indication that Nancy..Robin, Dustin and even Billy, that they're all completely wrong.
He doesn't find that. Instead, what he actually finds is just enough for the flimsy bit of hope to grow just a little more because you're looking up at him and . You're unfastening Stevie from her car seat and he gets out, holding your aunt's front door open for you as you walk through with Stevie asleep on you. 
You can feel the air getting thicker. Something is different. It's not bad, only intense. So intense you almost feel like you can't breathe. 
,, I have to be imagining it. This is just wishful thinking because i want to let it happen so bad that it's driving me crazy." 
"You're sure it doesn't?" you question, tilting your head to look up at him and he chuckles quietly, shrugging as he answers, " I actually like it. If it bothered me at all, I swear I'd say something. Are you sure it doesn't bother you?" and then he steps closer. Pushes open the bedroom door for you as you step inside to put Stevie to sleep for the night. " It doesn't. If it did I would have stopped her the few times she's said it when it's just the two of us." you answer, looking up at him. Holding his gaze and God help you, squirming just a shade when it feels like he's looking deeper at you as he does the same. 
"See you tomorrow." he finally manages to pull himself out of his daze and the temptation to touch you is so strong that he clenches his hand at his side.
You fall back into the bed beside your sleeping daughter and take several very shaky deep breaths.
CONTINUED
The whole drive across town to his parents empty house consists of him having the mother of all internal dilemmas. Instead of going home, he winds up at Dustin's house.
Dustin raises his window and gives Steve a concerned sleepy look. "Something wrong?"
Steve immediately starts the pacing as soon as he’s climbed through Dustin’s window. And rambling as he paces. And when Dustin figures out what's causing his best friend to pace a hole through his bedroom floor, he's snickering about it. 
" She does it like all the time, man. You're just noticing Stevie calls you daddy?"
"Today is the first time she's actually said it to me directly." Steve answers, gaping as Dustin's statement sinks in. "Wait..she's done it in front of you then?"
Dustin nods to the chair at his desk and Steve sinks down to sit. "Yeah. She actually started like..a week ago? Two, maybe?” Dustin yawns and smiles, falling silent for a few seconds before picking up where he left off, explaining the situation to Steve as Stevie explained it to him, “ This girl in her daycare group named Sadie has her convinced that if she picks her dad then whoever she picks automatically just..is. I tried t' talk to her but she's stubborn and she plugged her ears, started to hum. She said her mind was made up. That even if she couldn't tell you, she still knew and that was okay with her. She was afraid you might be mad so her saying it directly to you man.." Dustin pauses, rubs his eyes as he chuckles quietly, "That's huge."
Steve's chuckling too. "Yeah, the uh..the stubborn thing, that’s like 1000 percent her mom." he drags a hand through his hair. "I saw Nancy earlier. We talked. Well, she talked. I thought I'd have more to say but I didn't."
Dustin nods. Looks up at Steve in concern but Steve shrugs. "It's over. It's been over. I get it now."
"Okay, so what about ___?"
Steve rubs his chin as he thinks about it. He knows he can't keep fighting it, not with everything he's either accidentally overheard or he's figuring out only just now. He wants to fight. He wants to win.
"I'll figure it out. The uh.. the letting Stevie call me daddy thing though.. that won't mess her up, right?" and he wants to laugh at himself, he's asking a literal teenager for advice right now but…Dustin Henderson is the second person he trusts the most in the world. Robin Buckley is the other person and he's definitely going to bounce all of this off her tomorrow.
Because he's determined that this time..this time the ending he wants most in the world is absolutely going to stick.
"No? Why would it? Her father is some asshole who didn't even want her to be born, man. If anything, it's clearly for the best this way, Steve."
Steve nods quietly. "To not fucking this up, right?"
Dustin grins even brighter. "You're finally going to do something then?"
Steve takes a shaky breath and laughs quietly. "I think so, Dustin. I have t' try or I'm gonna lose my fucking mind."
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goodnightsimmers · 2 years
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Episode 5 - Games Pt. 2
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All night, Serena had been tossing and turning during her sleep. She couldn’t figure out if it was caused by her cheap bed or if was due to her excessive thinking. By the time Serena had fallen asleep, it was time to wake up for work. Sunlight began to crawl through the blinds in her room before her alarm went off. BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! Serena groaned as she smacked her alarm off. I’m sooo tired, she thought, I need coffee if I want to make it through the day.
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As soon as Serena made it to the office, she scanned the room for Finn. He wasn’t there. Where is he? She fixed herself a cup of coffee and went straight to work. As expected, Kelsi had left another stack of papers on her desk that needed to be edited. It’s going to be a long day, Serena thought to herself. Without skipping a beat, Serena started on the pile, forgetting all about her coffee.
Kolton: Serena? Serena?
Kolton gently tapped on Serena’s shoulder, causing her to jump and knock over her coffee. 
Serena: Oh shoot. I’m so sorry, I --
Kolton: When you’re done with your nap, I need to speak to you. In my office.
Kolton shook his head in disappointment and left Serena to clean up her mess.
How embarrassing. And how rude is he? He’s always cutting me off before I can finish my sentences. *sigh*I probably jeopardized, if not destroyed my entire career. I can’t believe I fell asleep like that. She quickly cleaned up and poured herself another cup of coffee. I’m glad Finn wasn’t around to see that.
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Serena: Before you start, I just want to apologize once again. This is very unlike me to doze off.
Kolton looks up at Serena and holds his gaze for a brief moment before dropping his head.
Kolton: Serena, the reason I pulled you in here, is one of our best Advice Columnist quit today. I was going to ask if you were interested in taking over her position, but it seems like the work is already too much for you.
Serena covered her mouth in utter shock.
Serena: N-n-n-o. I can do it. I swear. Please give me this opportunity, I won’t let you down, Kolton.
Kolton: I hope you’re right. There’s a lot on the line here. I’m depending on you.
Kolton stands up and walks to the door to let Serena out.
Serena: Thank you so much.
Kolton: Sure. And one more thing, Serena.
Serena turns around only to find him grinning this time.
Kolton: You snore.
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Serena: And then he told me I snore!
Janet: *laughing* He was totally flirting with you! OMG!
Serena: Very unlikely. Yesterday I saw him and another woman at the flea market. They were pretty close if you ask me.
Janet: Was it the red head? I bet it was. I’m not surprised. He’s had an on and off relationship with her ever since I can remember.
Serena looked down and checked her phone.
Janet: Serena? Is everything okay? You’ve checked your phone 5 times already since we sat down.
Serena: I’m okay. Hey, have you heard from Finn? 
Janet: Finn? Yeah. He took the day off. He always takes Mondays off....Wait a minute...is this what’s bothering you? What’s going on between you two?
Serena: We kissed. Saturday night after karaoke, we kissed. And I’ve been trying not to overthink, but I can’t help it. We had a connection I thought, but he hasn’t even texted me or anything.
Janet placed her hand on Serena’s shoulder.
Janet: You like him, don’t you?
Serena: Is it that obvious? I mean, I always thought he was attractive, but that night I saw a different side to him, and I don’t know. Am I crazy for having feelings already?
Janet: You’re not crazy *giggling* you just have a crush. Look, he’s a great guy. I’m sure there’s a valid reason why he hasn’t reached out yet.
Serena: You’re probably right. Anyway, I need to get back to work before Kolton comes out here and lectures us again.
Janet: Oh yeah. Good luck on your first column! And congratulations on the promotion! We’ll celebrate soon, okay?
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It was almost time for Serena to pack up and leave for the day when Kolton came by her cubicle. 
Serena: Hi. I sent you a copy of the advice column I worked on today and I managed to finish editing for Kelsi.
Kolton: Impressive. I’m looking forward to reading it.
Kolton began walking away when Serena called out to him.
Serena: Kolton? Thanks again.
Kolton: Don’t mention it.
Kolton winked at Serena and walked away while she sat there with butterflies in her stomach. How does he do that to me every time?
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Later that evening, Serena made herself some dinner and had a slice of apple pie Ms. Beverly had made for her. She opened the back door that led to the balcony of her apartment and sat down. It felt so nice out tonight. There was a slight breeze, but it wasn’t cold. It was perfect. Just then Serena’s phone lit up and displayed two notifications. The first one was an e-mail from Kolton, and the second one was a text message from Finn. Oh. My. Gawd. Make him wait, Serena thought. She opened up the e-mail from Kolton first. It was probably important.
Serena,
Come to work prepared tomorrow. I will need 2 columns ready by lunch.
P.S. I can’t buy the entire office ear plugs, so try not to snore tomorrow. Better yet, try not to fall asleep during work hours.
Even though Kolton wasn’t physically there, he still had a way of making Serena blush. Snap out of it, Serena, he’s your boss. Serena closed the e-mail and opened up Finn’s text.
Finn: Hi Serena. Have any plans Friday night?
Serena jumped up and danced a victory dance even though there was no music playing. Yes! Yes! YES! She began typing something but remembered what Jackie had told her, and quickly erased the message. She began typing again, but this time she wrote, “I’ll have to check my schedule. I’ll let you know tomorrow.” Serena turned her phone off and leaned against the wall. Serena-1, Finn-0.
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aw-eather · 4 years
Text
Heather Watches Stargate SG1: Upgrades
I have some rare time off and deicded I would like to spend it writing another post because its been a long time and I love this show and it’ll help me be less stressed about life and work!  We all love Upgrades so I thought this could be a fun one to do today! I also just love how much you guys enjoy these posts so thank you for being wonderful  As always, I’ll almost defienitly swear so consider yourself warned. 
Nice shot of the gate
SAM’S HAIR
SHE’S SO CUTE
Tok’ra are starting to annoy Jack and honestly same
“Don’t get me wrong Carter, your dads great, love him like a brother”
What about a father in law???
just a thought
Boys stop gagging over a pretty girl
Ew Daniel thats so gross
“Looks like trouble to me” ew
Sam’s fucking face
She’s so C U T E
Daniel stop flirting with every woman you meet
Anise annoys me tbh
Sorry not sorry
No shit Daniel
Jack is judging SO HARD
I’m actually a fan of the caterpillar on Teal’c’s face. 
I genuienly don’t hate it
Of course it doesn’t work on the Tok’ra. 
Why would anything 
Wow Anise you seem awfully suspicious with how desparate you are to get those bands on our space babies...
Sorry Sam is so beautiful 
like SO BEAUTIFUL
CREDITS
They’re so boring this season no offence 
END CREDITS
JANET
she looks so fucking good omg 
her HAIR
Anise go HOME you’re so ANNOYING 
Jack’s neck I-
Jack and Teal’c fighting is cute
I love their friendship
aw poor Teal’c
he’s out cold 
Jacks hair is messy and cute
Janet is not impressed at all
“I’m sorry”
“no you are not”
“You’re right about that!
fucking Jack making a comment about his strength and Janet’s face I love them
Jack reading super fast and Daniel not being able too is hilarioius to me
Mostly because I dislike Daniel
Lol “want me to read it to you?”
Sam sitting in the dark
Janet visiting her with her messy hair and looking so cute and wonderful
I love her
lemme protect her
she’ll need it
Sam, I don’t trust Anise
Jack chil you’re gonna break the machine 
that fucking beanie
i hate it
Jack broke the ball
I’m quiet during this scene because I Do Not Care TM about Daniel and Anise
Janet looks so annoyed 
and I don’t blame her
I agree with Janet
take them off
ah but they can’t 
janet and hammond are ready to slap anise and I’m HERE FOR IT
Jack might not be concerned Teal’c, but I am
jack what did that punching bag ever do to you, you dork
SAm is WRITING  a BOOK with her new found power I hate her
Sam and Janet are beautiful 
and their friendship could have been beautiful
if TPTB knew how to write decent women
“its just so damn exciting sir” I love him
poor Siler omg
why is it always him
can’t he catch a break
aw they’re all locked up
Steak. 
THEY’RE BREAKING OUT
FUCK SHE LOOKS GOOD
LIKE SO GOOD
AND THEY’RE BOTH WEARING LEATHER JACKETS 
THEY LOOK SO GOOOD
FRENCH FRIES INSTEAD OF POTATOES 
I LIKE THE TASTE BETTER 
SAM STOP 
YOU’RE TOO MUCH
MY TINY COLD HEART CANNOT TAKE IT 
defying a direct order but who cares
Jack there is a large, huge MASSIVE difference between steak and earth
the story about that shot with the pool is always funny to me 
JACK LOOKS GOOD
SO GOOD 
WITH HIS HANDS IN HIS POCKETS AND THE LEATHER AND THE GREY AND I-
he is a geek
Daniel don’t do it
oh he did it
Sam’s even telling him not to do it
bloody hell 
can we have a chat about how hot Jack and Sam are? 
Not make them stupid lol 
they were already stupid, Hammond 
they’re space babies
they’re looking so sory for themselves 
no you can’t Daniel
VERY HUNGRY SIR
more of a scuffle sir
ACTUALLY IT WAS YOUR IDEA... SIR
the fucking sass
the FUCKING S A S S 
ugh
UGH 
I AM SO SICK OF ANISE 
bitch  you brought those arm bands there so they could do stuff for you
the Tok’ra are always out for themselves and no one else
they barely do anything to help the taur’i and it pisses me off
Sam looks so cute
Hammond, every mission is a suicide mission 
sam is SO CUTE
HER HAND-
SORRY 
SHE’S REALLY HOT 
AND ADORABLE
I WANNA PROTECT HER
Thta was a lot of science talk 
aww the little hat 
so CUTE
look at em go
kicking jaffa butt
speeding around the place
HER HAIR 
I CANNOT STAND HER
SHE’S SO CUTE
wow thats a big ship
arm band is no longer working 
surprise surprise it happens in the middle of an important mission 
oh Hammond is MAD MAD 
Anise and you can bugger off
Janet’s face is like “did this bitch really just say what I think she just said”
NO SAM
JACK NO
OH BOY 
OOOOOOHHHH BOOOOOYYYYY
FAM I HATE THEM AND I LOVE THEM
THIS IS HONESTLY HEART BREAKING 
BECAUSE THEY OLY NOW REALISE HOW IN LOVE THEY ARE 
FUCK OFF
I LOVE THEM AND I HATE THEM 
BUT I LOVE THEM MORE 
i got a new computer today and the SOUND QUALITY IS SO MUCH BETTER
Aw Sam woke up first 
lol he wakes up funny 
he’s gonna do anything he can to help her
“you gotta get out of here sir”
“so do you” 
STOP IT YOU LOVE STRUCK NERDS
RUN BABIES RUN 
GET YO ASES OUT OF THERE
Look at that little jump over the rock
they’re in soooo much trouble
the fact these space babies didn’t get court marshalled a mllion times still shocks me 
ouch
that had to hurt
nice camera work
I AM VERY WELL GENERAL HAMMOND
lol 
i fuking love Teal’c 
what a sweetheart
i love him
could be a little less sarcastic to the Tok’ra Jack
I hate them as much as you do but no need to make things worse for yoruself 
this is why they never help you 
cause you are sassy to them
Final Thoughts: 
I love this episode
I love the silly space babies
I love Sam and Jack’s outfits when they go for steak
I love Sam’s hair
A lot
I love Sam in red
its a good colour for her
I genuienly hate the Tok’ra 
they’re useless
Jacob is ok
Martouf is mostly ok
the rest kinda suck tbh
Janet Deserved Better
all in all its a fun episode and I love it and it gives me the giggles which is what we all need right now
So tell me, beautiful people, what is our favourite moment from Upgrades? Lemme know and thanks for reading! 
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Jimmy & Janis
Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: we forgot another one off the 💀💀💀 list Jimmy: you gonna stick or twist? Janis: 👊 me if you give a shit Janis: need all the ways at my disposal Jimmy: here you are then, hot glue gun Janis: 🤔 Janis: sounds like a bit of 💀👑 & 💀#2 if you take it to your 🗢 and slowly starve Janis: still leaning towards 🔪 personally Jimmy: Alright, I'll invite them over Jimmy: keep your jealousy in check, my dear Janis: Jealous of you or them? Jimmy: ain't goals either way Janis: Neither is you taking up crafting, tbh so Janis: why have you got a hot glue gun? Jimmy: these cotton wool balls won't stick themselves to a 👕 Jimmy: gotta get 'em on before 💀👑 and 💀#2 think I've put snacks on Janis: 🤢 Janis: new 😎 look? Janis: 👎 Jimmy: piss off, this 🥉💡's nowt to do with me Janis: Who's is it? Janis: they ain't wasting snacks Jimmy: dunno, some other dickhead online whose kid don't wanna be a 🐑 an' all Janis: Ohh Janis: one of the more creative nativity outfits too, unlucky Janis: no tinfoil 👑s or dubious tea towels Jimmy: still looks shit enough to make our kid 😭 Janis: and you ain't got enough days to ship a probably shittier version from China Janis: alright, hold on Jimmy: I get that you live in the middle of nowt but nicking a 🐑 for #inspo ain't gonna help Janis: yeah, way to ruin my fun Janis: but my ma has had enough kids to have some ideas so you owe me for how 🥱 but informative this will be Jimmy: be a right laugh for you, be another pet I didn't ask for and have to piss about with Janis: or sunday lunch Janis: pessimist Jimmy: he's 😭 already, dickhead Janis: and I thought you northerners were meant to be hard Janis: grim and that Jimmy: @iantaylor8 Janis: Anyway, you want me to surprise you with the 🥇💡 or do you just want the lowdown on where to go Jimmy: depends Janis: on? Jimmy: if I can unstick myself or need your 💪🏆 Janis: 😏 Janis: how about I get on the bus to town now Janis: and if you manage to deal with your sticky fingers before I get there, then you can go? Jimmy: how's your ankle? Janis: not even on the scale now Jimmy: might be after you've put your foot down 🚍💣 Janis: Keanu could untangle you in 90 minutes, I reckon Janis: easy Jimmy: he ain't been pissing about 🐕🏃 Jimmy: how many you done? Janis: loads Janis: 💸 'cos the gifts don't buy 'em selves and the 🐕 owners are too busy sticking cotton balls to t-shirts, clearly 🎄✨ Jimmy: nice one, Janet Jimmy: now I'LL have to keep my jealousy in check while you put your 🦶 up on some other 🚍 riding knobhead Janis: only fair Janis: especially as you've reminded me how rammed that fucking bus is gonna be now Jimmy: I'll give one of my 👮 mates a bell to get you a 🚔 escort, hang on Janis: 😍 the perks Janis: there had to be some Jimmy: 🤡 perks off you Jimmy: won't be no struggle getting yourself on that 🚍 however full it is Janis: I'm pretty flexible Janis: contortionist might be a bold claim but 💪🏆 Jimmy: but it ain't a proper flex til I say it Jimmy: 💔 for you Janis: that's a fake flex Janis: don't need you for nothing Jimmy: after what happened on the assault course it'd sound like a real pisstake Janis: 1. that's agility if it's anything 2. also your fault Jimmy: never said it weren't, just how it'd sound Janis: No need to tell me what it 🔊 like Janis: the DMs are on the up again, yeah? Janis: same Jimmy: tis the season Janis: cutting it a bit fine to get a decent gift out of it Janis: but I suppose the couply selfies you can take are a close 🥈 for them Jimmy: can't keep the receipt on chlamydia but you can blag you went somewhere nice for the hols Janis: girls are actually demented Janis: at least no lad is gonna try and put me in matching knitwear and make me meet his nan Jimmy: 🥇💡 idea though I'll get you a #goals gift that ain't a trip to the cemetery Janis: oh yeah Janis: I'll get you something as well, even though I'm not required to try as hard Jimmy: stick a 🎀 on yourself and have done Jimmy: what the rest of the lasses do Janis: yeah literally Janis: as long as I heavily imply I'm gonna suck your dick, all is well, all is #goals Jimmy: 👍 Janis: but if you don't do good that # is gonna be a read Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: even if you get out the glue after me Janis: you can come to the shops too Jimmy: I thought you were gonna say even if you give me the glue gun #regifted Janis: I mean Janis: not quite handcuffs Jimmy: fuck's sake babe, let me leave my work at work Janis: fine Janis: the 🚔 escort will as you won't Jimmy: you and your stolen 🐑 Jimmy: dead romantic, that Janis: I'm not from the middle of nowhere, tah Janis: 🐑shagging isn't a hobby Jimmy: back to the drawing board for our fake break up Janis: all the shite songs they pump out have plenty of inspo in 'em Jimmy: nowt I don't know about 🎄🎵 been forced to hear 'em since November Janis: 💔 gutted Jimmy: no chance of 🎻 Janis: how have you not fully lost it yet Janis: only a few days to go Jimmy: how'd you know I've not? Janis: I'd have heard of a mass shooting Janis: not that out of it Janis: also my sister wouldn't be about no more which would be a bigger giveaway Jimmy: 👻 letdowns Jimmy: worst I can do is rattle a few cups Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: I'm used to it Janis: the friendmas organisation is in full swing Janis: 🤡🔫 Jimmy: where's my invite? Janis: OMG, no boys allowed! 🚫 Janis: though bets on Mia breaking her own rule there just to torture Grace Jimmy: I'll 👗👠💄 and be a prettier lass than any of them Janis: 😍 what kind of fake gf would disagree Janis: aside from the fact that ain't a stretch on a good day Jimmy: tah Jimmy: when is it? Janis: [some day as close to xmas as you are allowed 'cos pretending we're such good mates like okay] Jimmy: alright Jimmy: 🖋🩸 Janis: like, no offence or anything, babes Janis: but I don't see you passing REALLY 😬 Janis: and even they might notice they've picked up another desperado Jimmy: 1. piss off would I not 2. call it my 🎁 seeing the look on 💀👑 when I bring her 🎄 cake Janis: it would be decent craic Janis: they never do it at ours though Jimmy: typical, that, can't get sodding rid the rest of the year Jimmy: have to get us an 💌 then, won't I Jimmy: hang on Janis: I get it Janis: you miss Asia Janis: don't think 💀👑 has 'em do team-building exercises 💔💔💔 Jimmy: yeah, cupid's arrow's got nowt on falling on your arse when the ground's near froze Jimmy: reminded me of home 😍😍😍 Janis: she's well considerate like that Janis: not so braindead after-all Jimmy: 🤞 Jimmy: don't wanna give 💀👑 the 🎁 of seeing I've had to flirt with her to crash their bollocks festivities Janis: can't play into her hands that hard Janis: keep your 😍😍😍 focused in the right direction Jimmy: 🚍 Janis: yes, this is your driver speaking Jimmy: be a 🚑 if your mum ain't cracked on to a way I can chuck this glue gun Janis: I've sorted it Janis: well my sister's shit taste in fashion helped Jimmy: usually get 💰 for 3rd degree burns, me Jimmy: how's that for a flex? Janis: You made a rod for your own back being the artsy one or what? Jimmy: weren't gonna let a 6 year old have a go, were I? Janis: and it's not Ian's thing Jimmy: dunno where he is Jimmy: might be work, might be the pub Jimmy: be a better shout to give it over to my sister, anger issues an' all, any road Janis: you can put it down and get yourself a drink now Janis: all I need you to have is a black marker, which I know you do Jimmy: #whenshereallygetsyou Jimmy: 🥃 cheers Janis: you know those sherpa jackets they all have Janis: makes them look like a giant 🧸 but not in the adorbs way they're hoping Janis: Penneys has loads of them, get a paper plate, glue it on the hood and colour it in black, cut another in half for the ears and ta-da Janis: and I'll just take the jacket so no need to pay me back Janis: only in favours, obviously Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: IOU enough 🚬 to send that cheap shite up in flames, I get it Janis: yeah, probably don't string some fairylights round his neck as well Janis: would've taken hers but it's almost pink and I reckoned that'd just make him 😭 more Jimmy: you'd have to nick them an' all for him to be in any danger Jimmy: and what kind of fake boyfriend would let you up on the neighbour's roof with that ankle Janis: you want some lights? Janis: it's the easiest shop to borrow from Janis: they must have some that aren't shaped like the 🍆 emoji or a fucking unicorn Jimmy: 💔 I ain't coming with, you've really sold it to me Janis: oh, duh Janis: you call it primark Janis: it's hell on earth, you'd love it Janis: when they ain't guzzling your over-priced coffee, they're getting fast fashion made by little slave kids 💖 so cute Jimmy: hang on, why the fuck do you call it something different? Jimmy: now I have to come, not gonna knit an ugly jumper myself and nan's 💀💀💀 Janis: adds to our delightful charm? I don't know Janis: imagine the atrocities Janis: I'm gonna find the best, by which I mean WORST, one Jimmy: I'll meet you there Jimmy: be enough dickheads to follow if I get lost Janis: follow the knock-off UGGs they've trashed in the rain and snow Jimmy: hot Jimmy: don't get enough wet 🐕 smell off of you as is or owt Janis: err fuck off Janis: I haven't even got a dog, you have Jimmy: I have nowt to do with it, you can't move for 🐕🐾💩 Janis: 1. I don't fucking smell, dickhead 2. you're well opposed to me showering so you'd have yourself to blame if I did Jimmy: I'll nick you a 🦽 and you can do what you like Jimmy: many cold 🚿 as you need, mate Janis: you just want me to freeze now Janis: and your ⛓ kink hasn't got any less blatant Jimmy: weren't the way you wanna 💀💀💀 Janis: It ain't Janis: so your genius plan better include a way to warm me up Jimmy: might do Janis: the ugly jumper don't count Janis: cheap shit, as mentioned Jimmy: don't remember chucking it in the ring as my 💡 Janis: I don't wanna dress up as a sheep neither 😏 Jimmy: 💔 you'd be a well fit and mysterious one Janis: the racial undertones of ba ba black sheep have already been pointed out Janis: very on the nose Jimmy: I ain't got as far as black facing our kid, what more do you want? Janis: yeah, minorities are WELL demanding like that Jimmy: that'll be why Ian's steering well clear Janis: 💔💔 of course Jimmy: 🎻😭💔 Janis: thank god this is fake dating Janis: don't need a get out situation, tah Jimmy: knew you were protesting too much about the ⛓ Jimmy: you love it, Jules Jimmy: don't even need the stockholm syndrome to kick in Janis: not so much I wanna try it with your dad Janis: that's more 💀👑 gig Jimmy: UGH FINE we won't pass you round Janis: 😂 you're vile Jimmy: 💕 Janis: not as bad as some of the 'people' on this bus though Janis: won't be too hard to pretend to be glad to see you, in case any of the herd as in Penneys Janis: glad to breathe clean air more like but 🤫 Jimmy: 🚭 I get it Jimmy: very subtle Janis: easier to get you to cut down if I just take half Janis: but alright Jimmy: stop having a go at my stamina, dickhead Janis: make me Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: 🏃 after your 🚍 ain't the way to go about it Janis: Impressive but also stalkerish, yeah Jimmy: turning every dickhead there into a fan ain't clearing either of our DMs Janis: I doubt all these 👵👴 have Instas Janis: but the single mums with the screaming kids, definitely Janis: don't wanna ponder the creepy guy at the back Jimmy: but have you double checked it ain't Lucas in a disguise? Jimmy: he'll be missing you SO bad by now Janis: 😱😱 Janis: my hopes? ⬆️ Jimmy: 🎁's have begun, Jasmine Janis: Good Janis: I do expect one every day tbh 💅 Jimmy: alright Janis: that's a joke though Jimmy: don't have to be Jimmy: 🏆🥇 me Janis: only if you're gonna steal 'em all Janis: don't need to waste real money for the fake #goals Jimmy: DUH Janis: then proceed Janis: I can slowly just put them in Grace's room, I'm sure Jimmy: we could use the glue gun to stick 'em to her ceiling Janis: now you're talking 😍 Jimmy: do 💀👑 an' all if that's where their friendmas is but probably need a ladder to reach her ceilings Jimmy: no standing on the bed when you're 💰💰💰 Janis: You love to carry me, I'll get on your shoulders Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I think it's at hers Janis: maybe 💀#2 but none of the others want their houses and lives judged that hard so they opt out Jimmy: we'll be able to get some more blackmail material either way Janis: Did you seriously get an invite? Jimmy: are you actually doubting me or what? Janis: I know Asia's thick as shit but Janis: what did you say? Jimmy: [sends her the messages cos it seriously wouldn't be hard since the flatwhites think everyone wants to be their BFFs even though the opposite is true, so all he'd have to do is be like soz about the school trip we're just SO IN LOVE WE CAN'T HELP OURSELVES] Janis: 🙄🙄 Janis: fairplay but 🤢 🤮 🤧 😷 🤒 🤕 new scale needed Jimmy: go on then Jimmy: where are you? Janis: Do you actually know your way about yet or? Janis: I'm still a bit away, though, if that's what you mean Jimmy: I did mean on your new 🤢 🤮 🤧 😷 🤒 🤕 scale Janis: 🤕 then Janis: clearly Janis: you? Jimmy: 🤮 Jimmy: weren't talking to 💀👑 Jimmy: directly anyway Janis: She'd not have said yes Janis: unless she's got some pig blood just waiting, like Jimmy: she's so #invested in our 💘 she'd say yeah near enough whatever I said Jimmy: probably reckons she can 💔 us before the pudding's served Jimmy: her 🥇💡'll be to have Asia in a sexy santa outfit ready to crack onto me or some bollocks Janis: nah, seriously Janis: wanna talk pimps Janis: one of Asia's only uses Janis: poor bitch Jimmy: I'll take my 🎻 Janis: as long as it don't look like you're 💔 you can't go there, fine by me Jimmy: I get that none of them can read body language but facial expressions are a bit easier Janis: and you are so expressive Janis: 😒😎 Jimmy: for you, baby, the 😎'll be off Jimmy: nowt to do with the 🌧 and 🌨 Janis: 😳😖🤤🥴 Janis: so many expressions 🏆 Jimmy: Oi, I wanted to give you the 🏆 Jimmy: pissed on today's 🎁 Janis: 😮 there's me, still acting surprised Janis: you can't say you're gonna give me something then not Jimmy: SUCH range, you Jimmy: where would I steal a 🏆 from? nah, you'll get something Janis: I take my wins in many forms Janis: you can just tell me Janis: that'll work Jimmy: you can just wait Janis: 🥺 Janis: original scale Jimmy: it'll be worth it Jimmy: famous last words Janis: can poison the dish we have to bring Janis: if you're ready to go 💀💀💀 Jimmy: I don't wanna go with them Jimmy: just you Janis: I can promise it'll be worth it then too Jimmy: alright Janis: am gonna make that meal fucking inedible for them Janis: even if it's coming straight back up in most cases Janis: and fucking with them however else we can  💭 Jimmy: 🤞 Bill's 👻 knows some others, Dickens would be a good shout to keep things on brand 🎄 Jimmy: but whether he do or don't I've had loads of piss poor dinners Jimmy: Ian knows how to pick well #goals girlfriends Janis: think he'd be the 'what's the point in you if you can't cook n clean?' type Janis: being mysterious runs in the family, clearly Jimmy: beggars can't be choosers, mate Jimmy: slim pickings round that office when you've already been done for harassment Janis: 😬 Janis: need to talk to Mia's dad, work out the legality of being a perv with no repercussions Jimmy: how he tells it he's had loads 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: woe's him Janis: woe's the stupid bitches still going there after, more like Janis: have a word, ladies Jimmy: sort your heads out Sharons Jimmy: need a new mum who's got her shit together, tah very much Janis: one who's handy with a hot glue gun Jimmy: or a sewing machine, why the fuck not dream big? Janis: steady on Janis: #mommygoals isn't a hashtag I wanna endorse Jimmy: 😏 Janis: take mine, if you like Jimmy: bit weird Janis: I only 🐕🏃 Janis: cooking, cleaning, hot glueing, not services I provide, soz Jimmy: I'll live Jimmy: more #goals to be fuming about your mother in law Janis: easily done Jimmy: with my mum an' all, soz you'll have to take my word for it Janis: you're unlikely to see mine Janis: unless you have a banging selection of herbal teas Jimmy: gutted she don't wanna see her 🐑💡 brought to life on stage Janis: reckon turning up when you ain't got a kid in it gets you on a register, no? Janis: my dad coulda, sure some of his spawn are performing too but alas Janis: she didn't have that many 🥈 Jimmy: Ian's seat's going spare is all, obvs it were front and centre, dad of the year that he is Janis: what's he got on? Janis: latest disciplinary Janis: is your brother gutted? Jimmy: he'd be gutted if I weren't there Jimmy: what a #humblebrag Janis: good thing you can be arsed then Janis: and you have a sister too, right? Jimmy: dragging her along, kicking and marding 💪🏆 Janis: know the feeling Janis: bribe her with maccies after and tell him it's a treat for being a ⭐ Janis: everyone's buzzing Jimmy: what've you got on? Janis: me and my absolutely packed schedule? Janis: only 🐕🏃 ain't far off, aside from what I wanna, which can be done any time I want, of course Jimmy: nowt 🥇 about mine but we could edit it to look like we're #livingourbestlives Jimmy: I live right by the school, you could wait for me there, take some 📷 or whatever Janis: It's actually not an awful shout Janis: they're all obsessed with the cute kid thing Janis: and actually, Asia might be there with hers so Janis: very goals Jimmy: do try and put it out my head there's more than one set of those 🦷🦷 about Jimmy: fuck it, come then Jimmy: least I know you'll be sitting down Janis: 😂 fuck marrying a doctor, she's gotta find a dentist, for the whole family's sake Janis: I'm not coming in a 🦽 though Janis: that's a bit much Jimmy: #ultimategoals Jimmy: just admit you want me to carry you, girl Janis: behave Janis: might not be OUR teachers, but they'll have no issue telling you off, I'm sure Jimmy: donkey'd be a bit much but as fake pregnancy announcements go, top tier Janis: so gutted I can't fake labour and give birth to the new lord and saviour Janis: really steal the show Jimmy: could if it's Lucas' and you're making a Christmas cuck of me Janis: um, it's God's Janis: keep up Jimmy: sure it is Janis: 😱 Janis: didn't catch Joseph acting up like this Jimmy: didn't give him any lines, did they? Janis: I think he gets to ask if there's any room at the inn Jimmy: Oi mate, give us a 🛏 Jimmy: brought my own ⛓ like Janis: don't even get a break mid-labour Janis: hardcore Janis: weren't you Joseph in your nativity then? Jimmy: that your guess? Janis: yeah, I reckon Jimmy: what were you? Janis: just a generic angel Janis: was going to be one of the wise men but grace threw a fit if we weren't exactly the same Janis: tah for the downgrade Jimmy: if they could 👀 you now Jimmy: oscar worthy fake girlfriend performance day in, day out Janis: obviously they didn't see my potential like you, babe Janis: she might have legitimately tried to murder me if I got to be Mary 😂 no she weren't a twin, like Jimmy: I actually were one of the wise men, soz, sweetheart Jimmy: could've been #fated Janis: bet you was frankincense 'cos you could say big words Janis: I'm so 😭 honestly Jimmy: as roleplays go, not my top choice, but owt for you, babe Janis: if anything is a test of how well you can fake it Jimmy: you testing me? Janis: depends Jimmy: ? Janis: if we have the time to make THREE costumes instead of one Janis: I highly doubt it Janis: 😏 Jimmy: challenge accepted Jimmy: tin foil 👑 weren't it? Janis: yeah, and some kind of bedsheet robe, bit of tinsel Janis: sorted Jimmy: bet they have a 👸🏽 I can nick for you if your description of that shop were owt to go by Janis: definitely Janis: even if the hen party ones have L plates and dicks over 'em, the Disney ones should be a bit more nativity appropriate Jimmy: steal the show piss easy Janis: LOVE making little kids cry, obvs Jimmy: same Jimmy: just ain't as good when they're deaf, you can't get the volume out of 'em Jimmy: gutted we didn't end up with one who always shouts, obvs Janis: I'm gonna assume you got that deaf free pass and not go there myself Jimmy: safer to take owt I say with  🧂🤏 Jimmy: all fake anyway this Janis: ain't forgotten, you're alright Jimmy: didn't hit your head, I remember Janis: wouldn't tell you if I had Janis: the drama'd be too much Jimmy: I'd have worked that much out Jimmy: northern and only a bit thick Janis: 😵😵 Jimmy: no excuses, pisshead Janis: I know, I know Janis: you pride yourself on being 🏆💪 at the whole fake caring bf thing Jimmy: you saying I'm not? Janis: didn't say that, nah Jimmy: what then? Janis: what do you mean what? Janis: nothing Jimmy: 👌 Janis: you're lucky you live in town Jimmy: about the only thing mine's got going for it Janis: yeah Janis: this bus ride has nothing though so take the 🍀 Jimmy: how long? Janis: gimme 15 Jimmy: [gives her whatever he's drawn her for the first advent doodle because I was hoping to find something but I've been cockblocked] Jimmy: [maybe it's her as a lil bub wise man though now cos live your dreams] Janis: [love that, when you dunno what to say for a hot sec so you post it first being fake but lowkey having to tell the real story somewhat 'cos like, why and what else so it can't be that fake] Janis: you are good at art, give you that Jimmy: @ Ms Howe Jimmy: 💰 on her having a real account but dunno what it is Jimmy: @artteacheroveralls73 Jimmy: @reasonswhyloadsofartistsareproblematic Jimmy: @ihatenortherners86 Janis: you aren't her fave? Janis: 💔 Janis: cliche affair could've cut out any need for fake dating Jimmy: not a lass with a bowl cut and 🖌 behind her 👂 Janis: you've got the same type Janis: bummer Jimmy: piss off Janis: 😂 Janis: we can say it is Janis: maybe one of 'em will chop off all their hair Jimmy: you'd have to an' all Jimmy: unless you're that 🥇 I've binned off my type Janis: Precisely Janis: no competition Jimmy: what's yours then? just 👴 who teach you or what? Janis: must be Janis: not a lesbian and that's the other guess Jimmy: 👍 Janis: tah Janis: well affirming Jimmy: didn't need telling that you weren't gay Jimmy: not that good of an actress Janis: rude Janis: basically got an oscar Jimmy: off who? Jimmy: don't count if you give it to yourself, Judith Janis: you Jimmy: you've had nowt off me but that top quality 🎨 Janis: only because you can't find a 🏆 to give me Jimmy: 'cause it's up to me what I give you Jimmy: and as rewards go, I can do better Janis: I like the drawing Jimmy: yeah? Jimmy: you can have it, instead of just a 📷 if you want Janis: alright Jimmy: alright Janis: what do you actually want Janis: in return Jimmy: what's #goals? Jimmy: other than all this nativity bollocks Janis: true, very selfless of me Jimmy: there you go then Jimmy: weren't wrong about the 👼🏽 casting even if you were fuming Janis: I can fake 👼🏽 yeah Janis: but it's not really that selfless with all the #content we'll be getting Jimmy: still, I'll leave off taking your halo for a bit Janis: 'til you get me my 👸🏽 Jimmy: only fair Jimmy: can't fit a bobble hat over a head that big and with all that hair an' all Janis: still not getting a bowl cut Janis: let it go, babe Jimmy: good Jimmy: hard enough to fake the 😍 as you are Janis: yeah right Janis: hear the 🎻 from here Jimmy: play them like you mean them, babe Janis: if you wanted this to be easy for you Janis: should've picked an art hoe you could get properly 😍 over Jimmy: you're alright, a lass like that wouldn't be impressed by owt like a quick 🖋🎨 Janis: so now I'm TOO easy, yeah? Jimmy: not a tweet I'll be sending but Janis: fuck you either way Janis: just because I'm doing my job 🥇 you're gonna have a go Janis: thank me, more like Jimmy: fucking me regardless is something an easy lass would do 😏 Janis: yeah but I only fuck you 'cos you're the perfect little boyfriend so don't matter Janis: no one knows how much of a colossal dickhead you are, remember Jimmy: be about right Janis: you haven't bumped your head and forgotten the plan neither Jimmy: not yet, like Jimmy: but hell on earth were what you said Janis: if you get in way of a big mammy and her Christmas deals, you might be in luck of a fair smack, yeah Jimmy: #kinkunlocked Janis: good 'cos I won't be saving you Jimmy: 💔🎻😭 Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: entertain yourself Jimmy: easy Janis: contrary to your opinion, not obsessed with your 🍆 or what you do with it Jimmy: got an inbox full of lasses who are, I'll live Janis: yeah, you're loving it Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: [a picture of him waiting for her wherever the bus comes in doing his own 🙄 because he's a nerd and also he's never gonna just wait for her outside the shop when THAT ankle] Janis: Wow, if you're gonna leave, politer ways to 💔 Jimmy: ruder ways an' all Janis: idk Janis: quite rude, that Jimmy: is it? Janis: suppose I don't have to fake my 😍 at your mug right now Jimmy: there you go then Janis: Not going to say thank you still Jimmy: 💔🎻😭 Janis: you don't need to wait though Jimmy: can't chuck myself under the 🚍 til it gets in Janis: not how you wanted it Janis: or how I said I'd do it Jimmy: never said it'd 💀💀💀 me Jimmy: you want a 🦽 or what? Janis: you want matching Janis: alright Jimmy: what could be more #goals? Janis: I quite like walking but you know Janis: as you like it Jimmy: dry your eyes, mate Jimmy: bit more nursing and you'll be well away Janis: you gonna let me go then? Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 you Jimmy: not gonna have a choice Janis: thought you might finish the job Janis: 🦶🪓 Jimmy: did cross my mind Janis: No shit, Kathy Janis: the kink is blatant Jimmy: you could do worse, Lucas ain't gonna let you piss about in bed all day when it's his turn Janis: 🤤🤤 Janis: I like the challenge Jimmy: #blessed Janis: counting down the days Janis: #tilwemeetagain Jimmy: 🤞 you'll have him all to yourself in detention Jimmy: no tah needed Janis: you heard anything yet? Jimmy: he ain't using that for why he's not bothered to crack on with crafting a 🐑 costume Janis: 👎 Janis: he's gonna look cute Janis: not your dad Jimmy: I get it, no need for a poor man's Lucas when you can have the real thing 🥇 Janis: something like that Jimmy: 👴💕 Janis: [better show up gal] Jimmy: [resist the urge to immediately pick her up please sir] Janis: [when you're awkward like it's been ages just because there's been like a night or a day whatever reprieve love it, just like let us get to primark to get this sheep costume moment hun] Jimmy: [are we doing both on mobility scooters or him pushing her in a wheelchair/trolley because v different vibes but both iconic] Janis: [hmm, I assume their Dublin store would be big so I reckon we could go mobility scooter, you would find that more fun once you get into it too] Jimmy: [love that just don't do a me and knock a whole display of bras over yourself] Janis: [I did say we threw our bra on Mia's head so let's not reclaim that for yourself hen, though I do find them difficult to drive as someone who hasn't needed to so it will be carnage, like Primark at xmas isn't already hehe] Jimmy: [10000% am gonna say he takes off her shoes and won't give them back so instead puts on some OTT christmas slippers that are shaped like a xmas pudding or some nonsense because she's been on that ankle too much honey and we are cross] Janis: [we do not love ourselves or our lives enough to take a break so it's tea also that is amusant so yes because shan't be buying and that's the kind of mankiness you can expect from this shop or any high street one lowkey] Jimmy: [literally just gonna chuck them back on the floor or leave them in this scooter basket soz not soz, she's not walking around they won't get too trashed hens] Janis: [peeps do go feral so so can you lads, not to mention taking the piss out of all the weird things they put on clothes 'cos it do be wild] Jimmy: [they are gonna have a lovely time taking the piss out of everything and everyone tbh] Janis: [there should be peeps from school in there but like randoms so not enough to warrant a full show but as an excuse you barely need for couplish behaviour when spotted] Jimmy: [great idea cos you know there would be loads of peeps out shopping rn odds on some of them you vaguely recognise, I vote for some art hoes for the lols] Janis: [ha some art hoes out with their fam or something I live] Jimmy: [aesthetically doing the most haha] Janis: [just immaturely like there's your real girlfriend] Jimmy: [will get you with this scooter like they're bumper cars like oi] Janis: [when you don't know her name obvs so you're just shouting out really pisstakey ones like oi clem oi wren etc] Jimmy: [can't not lol] Janis: [sorry to this girl but we're not, just don't trash these scooters that we're using to bump into him/everyone/everything] Jimmy: [also not sorry for whatever he's chucking at her as the mood takes him] Janis: [just don't chuck that stripper jumper or we'll actually be raging] Jimmy: [can't wait for your jumper try on sesh when we reach that section lads] Janis: [oh lawd] Jimmy: [they should try on like onesies and all sorts so we have to have a full big disabled changing room moment] Janis: [the filmsy excuse like must you? yes obvs] Jimmy: [we live for a flimsy excuse in this era] Jimmy: [actually gutted the flatwhites aren't here because they have beds set up with xmas covers etc in the big primarks imagine the show they could've put on] Janis: [we must be prepping our low-cal xmas meal lmao] Jimmy: [Asia won't be making her sister's donkey outfit] Janis: [lmaooooooooooooooo what else can you do in a primark hmm] Jimmy: [I don't think we can get decs cos they all suck we're gonna have to steal them from elsewhere] Janis: [that fine, any other shop will have some that aren't horrific, primark might have the kind of make your own vibe that Bobby would like] Jimmy: [aww that'd be cute] Janis: [you crafty boi, you'd also know how to do it without a kit girl so if you wanna come through you can, as for primark, we probably get the vibe, unless there's anything specific we wanna say/do?} Jimmy: [I think we've covered it so you can go back to his gaff and construct this 🐑 lewk] Janis: [at least we've made your life 10x easier with this coat, also gonna be the first time you've been to his so probably just hanging about outside like am I leaving now or] Jimmy: [will carry you over the threshold like that was what was stopping you coming in even though he blatantly doesn't need help & make you tea so we can have that milk two sugars revelation] Janis: [just like sup bitch to Twix] Jimmy: [the beginning of the real love story] Janis: [not like we're pure awkward and like hi dog this I can do right at least] Jimmy: [I hope they've found a christmas jumper for you too Twix cos there's no festive cheer in this gaff] Janis: [casually assess how many decs we gotta get, also dread to think the jumpers you've ended up with] Jimmy: [give her that doodle you did and dramatically sign it like a nerd] Janis: [🙄but 😏 'get famous and I'll flog it'] Jimmy: ['you've posted it, bound to get insta famous' cue a fake dramatic scroll through his phone] Janis: ['if you have to put a word before it, it don't count' and mimes shooting him in the chest 'cos insta fame is all we have hunny] Jimmy: [does an OTT death scene] Janis: [twix will be trampling all over you like oh hey what you doing down here] Jimmy: [😒 but we secretly love her really] Janis: [just like it's your own fault boy but putting out a hand to help him up] Jimmy: [takes it and pretends like he's gonna pull her down which is accidentally saucy, remember that mud moment lads, but doesn't obvs] Janis: [😳 and lowkey pretending you're gonna drop him so he's reminded of Asia and the assault course instead] Jimmy: [puts her foot up and generally fusses like a nurse because we know it's fucked] Janis: ['you're meant to be drawing a sheep's face right now' 'cos you cannot like focus boy] Jimmy: [gets and chucks a bag of frozen peas at her so he can put a tea towel on her head like an even bigger nerd but then does get his craft on] Janis: ['downgrade' like where's me crown but staying put 'cos it'll be more fuss if you don't] Jimmy: [obvs does make her a crown that's actually decent because that bitch] Janis: [so amused 'cos impressive 'wasted on me and not quinn'] Jimmy: [takes a pic like it's not wasted now but really it's to hide our heart eyes/stop him saying something that he can't pretend is fake when there is nobody here] Janis: ['rather this than a sheep, I guess' like not a #goals lewk soz bobby it will be on you] Jimmy: [chucks all those cotton wall balls he couldn't attach at her like they are little snowballs because playfights forever] Janis: [just juggling with them like I too can be impressive lmao] Jimmy: [craft break while he tries to have a go/tries to get her to teach him how to do it because we're impressed but also competitive] Janis: [love that for y'all, I can't do it but I assume you'll at least be able to do 2 or 3 jimothy] Jimmy: [one should fall in his tea though because 💔] Janis: [devastation] Jimmy: [cue OTT pout soz for how distracting that always is] Janis: [getting up like calm down, I'll make another one, 'cos looking for an excuse to move tbh] Jimmy: [gotta push her back down into that seat before she can because sauciness forever] Janis: [just like OI but a LOOK too] Jimmy: [giving that LOOK back as standard] Janis: ['I can do it'] Jimmy: [putting out a hand to help her up for that parallel] Janis: [reluctantly taking it with a 😒 'cos omg we're fine even though we aren't but you know] Jimmy: [does the drawing a smile with his finger tip thing because if we actually touch her rn there will be no stopping us and this sheep isn't gonna finish itself] Janis: [run and make that tea gal distraction distraction] Jimmy: [likewise get crafting again jimothy] Janis: [let twix out the kitchen door 'cos she's being cray no doubt] Jimmy: [of course she is] Janis: how old is your brother Jimmy: 6 Janis: cute Jimmy: I'll pass that on Janis: the only kids I know are toddlers and babies Janis: have to be a bit less annoying at that age, right Jimmy: he's the only kid I know Jimmy: don't do my head in as much as the screaming 👶's at work Janis: yeah Janis: my oldest sister has a couple, they're nightmares Jimmy: 🤞 Ian's past it Janis: 🤞 his girlfriends are Janis: blokes never are Jimmy: depends whose arse he decides to slap at the photocopier this week Jimmy: 🤞 for a barren Sharon Janis: Christmas wish, or whatever Jimmy: @ Santa Jimmy: have a word Janis: plenty of sad christmas movies with that premise Janis: your brother really needs to be the ⭐ though Janis: you're well past it Jimmy: piss off am I Jimmy: every teenager on telly is played by a 35 year old, me and my crows feet are well in Janis: and I'm saying you pining for a step mum is for a whole different type of film Jimmy: dunno what you mean by that, Jenna Janis: 😇 Janis: [come back with that tea and the most dubious sure jan face] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: [shakes head like tut tut] Jimmy: [sips tea in a sassy manner] Janis: ['animal' and pointedly checking out his progress] Jimmy: [imaginary watch check time lol] Janis: ['never ends, eh?' squishes his face like poor boy] Jimmy: [a shrug 'not til you kill me'] Janis: ['better put in your appearance first for the kid'] Jimmy: [nods because no fucker else is gonna do it 'whatever they're using for the baby jesus might come in handy an' all, fake kid for you to remember me by' because we think we're leaving lol] Janis: [such an unamused face 'no thank you' like you don't know how rife teen pregnancy is in this fam lol] Jimmy: [a look like yeah it won't look as fit and mysterious as me but still] Janis: ['it's always some pale ginger kid anyway'] Jimmy: [picks up Twix and wraps her up in the sofa blanket like a little bub and hands her to Janis like there you go cos looks a bit like them being white but with whirls and she was a bit gingery when she was a pup] Janis: [when you can't just yeet this dog so you have to take her and give her some love but you're like 😑] Jimmy: [squishes her face like she just did to him] Janis: [swats him away 'prick' and is on our phone like we're very busy but we just don't wanna make this bad mood more of a thing] Jimmy: [Twix just kissing her face like ILY] Janis: [can't be mad at this pup at least, in reality we just seeing where nearby does decent decs that you can go and get] Jimmy: [meanwhile we're getting the bae painkillers cos we think that's why she's cross] Janis: [shakes head, 'saw Helena earlier'] Jimmy: [shrugs like suit yourself 'tah for keeping it off the 'gram' like she's cheating on you with Helena imagine] Janis: [? then like ugh 'turns out she sells 'em so well in' she does not and we did not, the utter lies girl] Jimmy: [we're ignoring that bollocks and drinking our tea/finally finishing this sheep] Janis: [ta-da gesture 'where is he, anyway?' like neither of us can model this sheep moment adequately] Jimmy: [looks around OTT dramatically like 😱 where IS he? cos can't just answer a question] Janis: [lifts up a cushion or something like hello?] Jimmy: [cue a silly fake hide and seek] Janis: [Twix will give you away so easily lmao] Jimmy: [eventually flopping down OTT dramatically basically on top of her like you're so knackered because always taking the piss out of his stamina] Janis: [acting like he's so heavy like you're gonna kill me] Jimmy: ['not the way you wanna go'] Janis: ['is that even a question?'] Jimmy: ['didn't draw owt' because he did draw ? on her with a fingertip during the school trip and it was very flirty] Janis: ['there you go then' like no need to answer] Jimmy: 'reckon we're on our own' like there you go then for that question you asked about Bobby's whereabouts but you're still basically all up in her grill so it's accidentally flirty as well as a no shit answer] Janis: [takes a picture to be like now we ain't] Jimmy: [do a little photoshoot so you can have an excuse to make out because it's been FOREVER as far as you're concerned] Janis: [when we haven't even processed any of this lowkey] Jimmy: [it's a headfuck kids] Janis: ['did you go to school this morning, after?' 'cos saying you clearly didn't] Jimmy: ['what kind of question is that?' cos clearly didn't either, nods in the direction of the sheep costume fail like] Janis: [shrugs 'maybe you give up easy' like he came home did ten minutes and was like nah] Jimmy: [a look like very subtle challenge there babe] Janis: ['piss off' and pushing him a bit away 'cos we haven't moved evidently] Jimmy: [gets up and starts cleaning up all the crafting mess like fine I can take a hint] Janis: [ah the frustration, getting up like well then 'what time's the nativity thing?'] Jimmy: [telling her whatever time it is] Janis: ['meet you there then' and peacing] Jimmy: [so many things he wanted to say but we're not saying any of them] Janis: [oh lads] Jimmy: [sends her a pic of Bobby when he tries on that sheep lewk] Janis: 👍 Janis: looks pretty good I reckon Janis: he happier now? Jimmy: he's moved to 😢 Jimmy: should've kept your 👑 'cause the only 🏆'll be the FUMING mum's 💔 they never 💡🥇 of pissing about with their old clothes Janis: it's an improvement, suppose Janis: nah, could've earnt it if I committed to taking my sisters and glueing a paper plate to it Janis: 💔 oh well Jimmy: far as thankless tasks go, it's got nowt on 👴👵☕ Janis: you can wear it then Janis: have to size it up Jimmy: you gonna give me a hand or what? Janis: you did such a good job first time 'round Jimmy: without the tweet singing my praises, how would I know? Janis: if you want me to post, just say so Jimmy: if I have to tell you how to do the job, might as well do it myself Janis: fuck's sake Janis: we're literally going to clog their feeds later with all this nativity shit Janis: don't act like I ain't doing anything Jimmy: didn't have you down for a part timer but alright Janis: what you have me down as is irrelevant 'cos you don't know me Jimmy: weren't about to start a Q & A Janis: Good Janis: I know how to do the job, so do you Janis: leave it at that Jimmy: I were only pissing about, what's your problem? Janis: nothing Janis: there's just no need to do anything else Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: okay Janis: don't forget the santas hat you said he needed for jingle bells at the end Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 👋 Jimmy: 😘 Janis: not worth a screenshot Janis: but I got the message, like Jimmy: what message is that? Janis: more 👏 content 👏 Jimmy: steady on, I ain't 💀👑 Janis: the point was bigger and better, weren't it Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Jimmy: you said nowt Janis: when did I? Jimmy: no need to do owt else, weren't it? so there's no need to make me sound like a tory slave driver Janis: just forget it, alright Jimmy: forget what? Janis: that I said anything Jimmy: or what? Janis: why would you not? Janis: there's nothing to gain from this Jimmy: might be if you stop being a dickhead and tell me what's wrong Janis: I'll just stop Janis: if you do as well Jimmy: what have I done? Janis: do you think you've done anything? Jimmy: that's not an answer Jimmy: the answer's nowt Janis: there you go then Jimmy: stopping doing nowt means doing something, so go on, what do you want? Janis: I don't want anything Janis: alright Janis: I shouldn't have slept with you Jimmy: freezing weren't how you wanted to 💀💀💀 either Janis: what Jimmy: I weren't gonna let you sleep out there on your own Janis: are you serious Jimmy: are you? Janis: you've already called me desperate for it Janis: now you think I'd just do it for the warmth and you get to be some kind of gentleman for bothering Jimmy: 1. I've said nowt of the sort 2. sort your head out if that's where you reckon mine is Janis: You said I was easy Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: that were you, for a start Janis: no it wasn't Jimmy: bollocks Janis: it was you Janis: anyway, it was a mistake Jimmy: you legged it, you're calling it a mistake, nowt to do with me, that Janis: because I'm not easy and you've got the wrong idea if you reckon that Janis: so let's stick to what is actually working and leave it Jimmy: you're being a massive dickhead Janis: and what Jimmy: and nowt's gonna work if you don't leave it out Janis: that's literally what I've said Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: how are you gonna have a go at me? Janis: you could've just shut the fuck up and it'd be fine Jimmy: how would it? Jimmy: you're sitting there 😒😤😭💔🎻 over some bollocks you reckon I said and you weren't gonna say owt Janis: don't take the piss Jimmy: or what? Jimmy: that's what you've been doing all day, mate Janis: fuck off have I, I've been helping you out Jimmy: suffering in silence 'cause I'm such a bastard, more like Jimmy: have a 🏆 Janis: you're the one being dramatic, I didn't say that Janis: I just didn't appreciate what you did, that's it Jimmy: you spent ages with me after I apparently called you a massive slag, what else do you call that? Janis: I was already on my way Janis: what am I gonna do, actually turn the bus around, no Jimmy: not be a doormat Jimmy: there's your mistake if you're looking for one, Jodie Janis: fuck you Jimmy: this is me being a prick since you need a hand working out the difference Janis: stop talking to me Jimmy: stop putting words in my mouth Janis: I didn't Jimmy: I don't think you're easy Janis: right Jimmy: Why would I? Jimmy: don't flatter yourself, alright, my benchmark for that is set at fucking half the north Jimmy: and even then, you'd have to really be dating me to get me to give a shit about it Janis: I didn't ask you to give a shit, nor do I want you to Janis: and it's hardly flattering but doormat is worse so yeah Janis: go away now Jimmy: 👌 Janis: I hope your brother doesn't totally hate it Jimmy: don't bother wasting your christmas wish Janis: well, he'll be fine, there are worse things than stage fright Jimmy: don't waste the reassurance on me either Janis: Jesus, whatever then Jimmy: there's nowt worse than having no parents about when every other dickhead does Janis: Yeah Janis: he won't be the only one Janis: and at least someone is there at all Jimmy: tah for that Janis: it's the truth Jimmy: most helpful you've been, pointing that out Janis: well what Janis: what else would you want me to say Janis: it's shit Jimmy: I didn't ask for you to say owt about it Janis: so you brought it up to what Janis: get a 👍 or 👎 Jimmy: you brought it up Jimmy: reckoning you know what's our kid's problem how you reckon you know what I think Janis: no, I was going Janis: I was literally just saying hope he doesn't have a terrible time Janis: don't have a go at me 'cos your dad ain't going Jimmy: leave it out Jimmy: I'm having a go at you 'cause you're doing my head in Janis: then I'll be going Janis: we don't need to talk to each other Janis: right now or barely at all Jimmy: 👍 Janis: when we need to do more fake shit, then we'll do it Jimmy: alright Jimmy: you know where I live Janis: Yep Janis: later Jimmy: [not gonna reply cos have a nativity to get ready for] Janis: [ah soz for the mess that has been made everyone, gutted we will not see the sheep costume in action] Jimmy: [how dare you arseholes ruin my festive fluff] Janis: [my boo is fuming, at least we can force you together easily enough after, and you did help with the costume] Jimmy: [we've ticked that and jumpers off the list, well done us]
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bbcmyhero · 5 years
Text
Car
Got a little free time, so I might as well get started on this one. Into the episode with the giant continuity error, because I distinctly remember them having a car before this episode. At least I’m about...95% sure they did.
Are weetabix anything like the mini-wheats cereal? Cuz, if so, I’d honestly like to get my mitts on some. Frosted mini-wheats have the best crunch, ever. 
Also, I hate eating odd numbers of things. I maybe wouldn’t eat 20 giant wheat cracker things, but maybe...4?
Standing in the corner and howling is very #relatable. I get you, Arnie
Again with the fat jokes. Lovely. 
No need to rub in Arnie’s lack of powers by doing an equipment test right then and there. George is worst cousin. 
Still get a giggle out of that George and Ella interaction. 
“No, don’t kiss me.” 
“Thanks very much, Ella, I really appreciate that.” 
I really think if left to their own devices, George and Stanley would get along. Even if they had to bond over not liking Ella. 
Oh, the weird guy in the corner is friends with George? Not a shock. 
There it is, the part about them not having a car. But, again, I coulda sworn they had one in an earlier episode.
Yeah, just checked. Janet’s getting groceries out of a car in the pilot episode. 
Did they have to sell it? 
OMG, George, stop talking. You look like the saddest gold-digger in the world. Mooching off someone as apparently broke as Janet. 
“You make me ashamed of my sex!” 
“Ella knows you try your best, Stanley.” 
BRB, dying
Nice. Now there’s two howlers. 
Poor Janet. 
See, right there. Tyler does the same thing George does later, when he erases his own memory, while trying to remind himself not to talk about Thermoman. Like Tyler’s erasing his own memory. 
Tyler is a transgender alien. Change my mind. 
That poster of Piers is the definition of Cringe. But, also, yeah. No. The man is gorgeous, but I wouldn’t trust him to operate on anyone. No one should book a surgery with him. 
But dear sweet fluffy LORD, this is precious!
The genuine smile. The jumping into the car like an excited kid. 
The blue shirt. 
Did he need to be a smug ass? No. 
Do I enjoy seeing the precious actually happy? Yes. 
Can’t say I blame Mrs Raven. Don’t want anyone in my face with the flu, either. 
I get sick, I crumble like a jenga tower. 
“There is no Mr Right. There’s only Mr Crap, Mr Tit, and their friend, Mr Total Tosser.” 
Wisdom. 
That is a beautiful tie. 
And lookit Piers! For one brief  moment, having none to give about anyone’s opinion. 
Because he’s got a really flash car, and you haven’t. 
“You needn’t worry, Mrs Raven. Janet says most germs are afraid of catching you.” 
And Janet just...runs…
Again, howling in the corner is a totally normal reaction to having no money. 
“I could clone myself, but we’d keep on fighting over who gets ya on a Saturday night.” 
Retroactively disturbing line, considering Hilary the creeper clone. 
WTF, George? Why did your mind jump straight to the idea that Janet was suggesting eating Arnie? 
What the actual hell goes on up there on Ultron? 
Aw, Janet and Arnie celebrating together. Another case of “could have been adorable friends.” 
Except Arnie is a creep, so…
Yet again, Janet laughing at the weird alien custom. 
Which, granted, does look like camp gay “I’m a little teapot,” but still. Rude. 
Okay, I definitely see the fat Freddie Mercury resemblance. 
Doesn’t mean I have to like the joke. 
Also, frozen Janet is the stuff of nightmares. Is no one going to thaw her out? 
I’m not 100% convinced Tyler isn’t hearing actual alien words in the radio static. 
Poor thing. I know he meant “present life,” as in reincarnation, but I still think “faded memories of being Ultronian.” 
This lady’s gold blouse is awesome. 
But ew with Arnie looking through her clothes. 
I know they immediately sniffed a disaster, but that alone should still have gotten him a warning. Considering his hero test question was about sexual harassment. 
Piers has on a stupid hat. I love it. 
It makes the boring shirt more attractive. 
BUT! Dude bragging aside, bby, we all know you didn’t take any ladies for a “test drive.” Except in your own mind. 
Bless. Janet and George are so happy about his four customers, but everyone else is completely unimpressed. 
And the weirdest courting ritual in the world begins in 3
2
1
Mrs Raven gets bitchy, Arnie gets...a boner, apparently. 
Insult. Insult. Hand lick. Both parties clearly need a cigarette. 
I ship it. 
And George basically just insulted Mrs Raven by saying it was fair how she hated everyone. And she just looks pleased as punch. 
Bits of shipwreck all over the living room and helmets not in the helmet cupboard. You know your life is weird, when…
Um, no. Bad George. We don’t imply the little woman is a nag when she doesn’t want you trashing the house for her to clean up. 
At least he cleaned up without complaining. 
Oh, I love this part. 
“She’s queen of here...YOU’VE STOLEN THE CROWN JEWELS!” 
GDI, Arnie
And there went Janet’s morals completely out the window. 
YOU’VE STOLEN THE CROWN JEWELS
But I want a car
Okay, theft is staying on the dl for now
Stanley doesn’t even blink at George wearing a crown. It’s just one more weird thing George does. 
That was weirdly polite. “Oh, it’s you. You’ve come outta your corner.” 
Like, nice to meet you, weird guy. What’s up. 
Love that delayed reaction...oh. Wait. George is wearing a crown. 
Oh, of course this weirdly similar crown isn’t part of the crown jewels. 
Good thing George was so completely convinced of that, or Stanley probably wouldn’t have been. 
Tyler still in the corner counting the oats. Apparently no one finds that a bit strange. 
At least that guy behind him threw some side eye at calling George “master.” 
Also, I would dearly love it if I could find a magical alien healer to fix everything that is fubared in my stupid body. 
No more broken thyroid gland. No more kidney pain. No more stress puking. 
Sounds fake. 
Mrs Raven wanting the phone to ring, then getting annoyed when it does, is me bored outta my mind and wishing someone would text. Then resenting it. 
Janet’s face says she really believes Mrs Raven would kill all the patients and bury them in the car park. 
“Bye, baby, daddy’ll see you very soon.” 
I react to this the same way I react to bearded Hugh swinging his belt on Taskmaster. 
Incoherent whimpering and nail biting, mostly. At the calmer end. 
Jesus!
Okay, I’m cool. 
“I am always...we’ve got no patients.” 
Blue! Shirt!
It’s not nice to say sexy things while wearing a blue shirt. Sir. Not fair. 
I’m fine. 
Piers just watching Arnie and Mrs Raven’s mating ritual like...wtf am I seeing here? And then just nodding, like, yeah, that was definitely the most disturbing flirting I’ve ever seen. I’m leaving before it gets worse….
Wait…
Is George curing my patients? 
How very dare he? The nerve!
Mrs Raven’s little quick change with the stolen scarf. I think it has to be in the lost and found more than one week before you can claim it, ya know. 
Bless him, I think Piers is going to cry. And back to caring what everyone thinks, again. 
Another thing that was nice while it lasted. 
Theft cat is out of the bag. But he’s right. That is one ugly necklace. 
Even if all that stuff was just stolen and hidden in their flat that day, how did no one notice a bedroom full of corgis? They’d surely have started barking at some point. 
Rule of funny. 
George at least has more morals than Janet. 
I mean, I know a car would be useful, but I can’t believe either of them trusted Arnie in the first place. 
Howling sadly in the corner is contagious. Poor Janet. Nice going, George. Just couldn’t be a little more optimistic, could you? 
Lovely problematic cinnamon roll in a blue shirt is at the door. 
“You have all my patients, I want them back….Not that I like them, they just go with the job.” 
I love him. 
If looks could kill, I’d have murdered Janet and George ten times over by now. 
Couldn’t just take the check and get yourselves any old car. 
No. 
I mean, someone hands me 8k, I’m not gonna be a greedy prick about it. 
But, it’s the throat-clearing and the slumped shoulders that Piers has going on, while handing over his car keys. Like a little kid that just got conned out of his favorite toy. 
And the fidgety hands.
God save me from this man’s little sad hand fidgets. 
“Can we give you a lift?” 
You ever see A Fish Called Wanda? The way whenever Otto crashes his car into someone else’s he always screams “asshoooooooooole!” 
That’s me, rn. 
I mean, I laughed the first time. But that was before...the incident. The moment that changed everything. 
Also, flying the car over traffic isn’t very subtle and secret-identity. 
Douchebags. 
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itsavonell · 5 years
Text
i fell asleep watching women behind bars on netflix and this is what i dreamt.
*THE SOUL SQUAD HAS BEEN ARRESTED AND IS BEING BOOKED. IN WALKS KEVIN VISITING HOLT*
michael: SHAWN! what are you doing here? 
kevin: excuse me?
holt: hold on. how do you know my husband?
michael: leave these humans alone! or i’ll have janet kick your ass again!
amy: hey! don’t talk to father...boss’s husband like that! *whips out the baton*
jake: yeah! we’ll go straight die hard on your asses if you mess with captain dads!
eleanor: oouuu die hard! great movie! which is your fav?
jake: i know right! i mean the f-
holt: JACOB!
jake: RIGHT! be quiet and stop bonding with me over similar interests!
chidi: you don’t understand! he’s literally a demon!
rosa: alright! i’m about to kick some asses! *whips out axe*
chidi: woah where did that come from? are you a demon as well?
charles: i learned the hard way that she always has it on her.
eleanor: an axe! noice! hey hot stuff! let’s see what that axe do!
terry: omg! rosa she’s flirting! ask her out!
jealous!tahani to herself: *scoffs* i wielded an axe once and i dare say i looked way better doing it.
jason whispering to eleanor : hey, doesn’t that guy look like the demon who’s butt we kicked.
janet: can we deal with the literal demon standing in our midst first!
chidi: yeah you need to let us go so we can get rid of him!
holt: alright! that’s it! throw them in holding!
eleanor: shut up boob and let the babe in black talk!
jealous!tahani *whispering*: if had a sword right now her axe would pale in comparison. though she is quite beautiful. i can see why eleanor is smitten.
*LIGHTS GO OUT AND COME ON AGAIN*
*THERE STANDS GINA AT THE ENTRANCE IN FOG*
gina: welll well weeellll. seem like your in need of my occult expertize.
charles: oh yeah! gina has special powers to sense these things. i remember when we were smooshing -
*THE 99 GROANS IN COLLECTIVE DIGUST*
gina: shut up charles and let me do my thing.
*GINA STARTS DANCING AND CHANTING*
gina: this man is no demon.
jason: are you sure because he can drag us to the bad place and i don't wanna go back there. they have this vegetable jam. it's gross.
gina: i’m never wrong.
charles: well i guess it's fine then!
*EVERYONE CALMS DOWN AND PUTS THEIR WEAPONS AWAY AND GO BACK TO WHAT THEY WERE DOING*
gina whispers to shawn/kevin: this saving your ass bit is getting old.
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wellntruly · 6 years
Text
THE GOOD PLACE
I finally reached critical mass on people recommending this show to me---people including myself, I also thought me would like it---and WE WERE ALL RIGHT. I’ve watched THE WHOLE THING this past week, because half-hour comedies are something I can actually binge as the math is all different from hour-long dramas, and it doesn’t overwhelm me to watch like, six episodes in a row. Which I did. And would do right now if I could. I love this shoooowww!!!
It’s actually actually about Fate, AND how much Choices matter. And that you aren’t good in a vacuum, that’s meaningless: it’s community, it’s What We Owe To Each Other, it’s care and growth and ride-or-die joyous torturous love, fuck this show is so beautiful, I’m heart-eyes about it!
Also this is easily the FINEST comedic ensemble currently working in television. So many golden line deliveries, such hilarity such soul, the talent and balance on this show, oh my god I want to hug all of them at once in one big squeeze!!
Alrighty, scattered notes ahead, and consider this your *spoiler line*
Tarra Wellntruly Watches The Good Place, Seasons 1 and 2
his bowtie is patterned like two peacock feathers, this is already very good
I’m so glad I’m going to get to love Kristen Bell now as I never watched Veronica Mars
am I going to have a lot of questions about why everyone is young. or rather, one question.
it’s an algorithm, how modern
one of the school administrators who calls in at work often has told me I remind her of Janet from The Good Place and Janet KNOWS EVERYTHING and is endlessly cheerful so I’m taking this as a compliment?
“I was a professor of ethics and moral philosophy.” I am LOL.
surrealist breakdown, oh nice nice niiice
“Thank you Eleanor, you big flirt.” I love Tahaniiiiiii
“directional insanity” I am losing it
Yeeyeyhyeyeyssyyesessss, Jianyu tooooooo!!!
I’m so into characters who talk about how they aren’t humans
“You’ve got a whisper in your snicker-box.” Tahani marry me
hahahahaha, Chidi
“Suspenders! So dumb! So much dumber than belts!” he’s so happy!
“Oh! Fanciful wordplay!”
WESTERN HEMISPHERE BRUNCH PATTER
I adore when terrible people turn out to be suited to do a good thing — like here Eleanor is being a pestering person who won’t take what you say as truth and for once, Chidi needs it!
haaahhhh KAMILA. one of her listed accomplishments was lit “iconoclast” god that’s good
“They are going to catch us! This is a very precarious situation, I am VEXED Eleanor!” Chidi I adore you
Eleanor does kind of LIVE in paradox land, I think she’ll figure this out
“super magical Orville Redenbacher type guy”
holy shit Janet
“Lies are like tigers: they are bad”
yaaayyy, Chidi flashbacks! god I love ensemble shows that give everyone more development one by one
also, the way this show is like Orange Is The New Black: just waiting to get the flashback to explain how they each got here
Janet playing with this plant
omg it’s Adam Scott. omg his name is Trevor.
“such as the way one might be fond of a street cat”
what the fuck, did I go to college with that guy??! ohhhhh yeah, no Zeke is an actor in LA now, that was a thing I knew! hey this still blew my mind. nice job, dude from freshman year Metafiction
“It ran for 16 years on the BBC. They did nearly 30 episodes.” I am dying.
this weird wedding is the cutest darn thing
Chidi’s “What?”s, ooohhhhh Chidi’s “what?”s
this show is amping it up and I’m living
“I’m not a girl. :)”
MARC EVAN JACKSOOOONNNN. my guy!! Fun Fact there is a chance Marc Evan Jackson would eventually recognize who I am if you were given about 45 seconds to explain. it would also probably help if it were 2015.
Real Eleanor that was ridiculously dumb?
and here we GOOOO, fantastic. man I knew what this Reveal would be from the moment I heard there was a show called The Good Place --- like honestly when this first season ended and I saw headlines like “The Good Place’s Big Twist” I thought “oh did they really wait till the finale to reveal this is actually the Bad Place?” but god damn, I doubt it has any less enjoyment value knowing it’s coming because I am enjoying this tremendously.
aw yay now Real Eleanor is actually her own person! neatly dodged!
WAIT IF THEY GENUINELY WIPE THEIR MEMORIES AND START OVER THAT’S FUCKING GENIUS, THAT’S SUCH A BONKERS CONCEPTUAL IDEA FOR A SERIES, HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT I LOVE THAT
I’M SHRIEEEEKING
let’s dooo the time-warp agaaaaaiin!!! I didn’t know this detail of the reveal!!
Season 2! Season 2!
what is charming and good is the things we loved about Michael—how he is such a try-hard, his weird genuine interests, his very HUMAN sort of constant failboating—is still true even now that he’s a demon
AAAAHHH, FORMER ELEANOR IS NOW JUST A STRAIGHT UP COMMENTARY ON CARDBOARD PROP FEMALE CHARACTERS, AND SIMULTANEOUSLY THE IDEA THAT ANNOYING ACTORS ARE DEMONS
also: that the idea of “soul mates” is purely a torture device, this is so choice
the portrait of that kid on the wall, the stoner who figured out 92% of it or what have you, looks like dweeby high school Bryan Fuller. I think this every time.
“This is your soulmate, Glen. This is your soulmate, Tahani. This is your soulmate, a golden retriever.”
I am loving this. fuck, all the montages, LORD LOVE A MONTAGE. zippy, surreal, only through editing do they form a sentence, GOD. love it.
“No. It’s going to be the same every time.”
THESE. RESTAURANT. NAMES.
yeeeaaaaahahahahaas, oh I LOOOOVE this newest twist!!! working togeeethheerrrr!!
actually, I feel like Tahani has become a bit more one-note this season? what I loved about her in S1 was that she was this yes, but it was an insufferableness wrapped up in how she was always softly smothering you Trying To Help and effortlessly Having Everything and being quietly bewildered by how no matter how many flowing giant-floral-patterned garments she owned she still felt adrift. what made her so insufferable was that she didn’t act like she was spoiled and narcissistic, she acted charitable, and just lived her obvious vainglorious reality in posh obliviousness, and you’re like “ugh” but also love her. now she’s just openly covetous of luxury and dismissive of others, and it’s not as nuanced and fun.
Eleanor too is different this season, almost like she’s found a loophole through constantly starting over on her growth: she’s not near as terrible now. this I’m accepting though because while it might not track logically, character development is what we love to watch
haaahhh, Chidi broke the demon, cute
“I know what you’re all thinking— birth is a curse and life is a prison.”
“and we pour one out for our flat homie.” the thing is: Jason is very sweet and wise. and an unconscionable idiot who would turn me into the human equivalent of a long, suffering sigh.
The Ethics Express
“a scientist who forecloses on banks”
Eleanor’s love for shrimp tho
yaass, surrealism
JaneeeEEEeett! this entire Tahani/Jason storyline is now worth it for this JANET PERFORMANCE
“there are reasons and I don’t want to explain them right now!!!”
Eleanor: “Girl you are a messy bench who loves drama and I am into it.” Michael: [happily high fives her]
SHUT THE DOOR, HAVE A SEAT
“flipped on us like a 10 stone griddle chip.” “…” “It’s a large pancake [snapping fingers] come on people you can get these from context!” THAT’S MY TAHANI <3
“What the here dude?” omg
honestly honestly: that the demons are partly so demonic because of banal infuriating sexism is…So Wonderful To Behold. YA BAD.
AAAAAWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!
this is the sweetest cutest little quiet party I am emotions???? my darlings!!
daaaancing!! pure
okay you definitely must do that
the Bad Place people dress like hipsters at a 1940s party and that is fucking inspired
PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN 6
“But then I remembered: I’m a naughty bitch.” Marc Evan Jackson I am apoplectic
MAYA RUDOLPH IS THE JUUUUUDGE!!! :DDD
“It’s a human insult. It’s devastating. You’re devastated right now.”
I KNEW it was Good Janet!!!!!!!
unbelievable that the show is like “hey y’know what? I think we had it right with that Janet/Jason thing actually.” show I think you are right!
[Eleanor voice] guys, I might legit super ship Eleanor and Chidi (<3)
oh, sending them ALL the way back? strong, good good lines on this story structure, real well-made
aahhhh! oh if S3 is Getting The Gang Back Together Again, GOD I’M GONNA WEEP
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The Reddie Horror Show
Aka. The high school IT au featuring Richie being a musical nerd and dragging all of his classmates with him that nobody asked for.
—In high school, Richie realized that he liked both boys and girls and started these jokes of being a stereotypical gay guy (even though he's actually bi).
—He used to watch musicals as an ironic liking and had fun making all the losers watch Grease with him and randomly screaming the lyrics of the most iconic musical numbers.
—But then The Rocky Horror Show appeared, and Richie truly loved it. Like, for real. He fell in love with the story, the characters and the songs.
—He got so obsessed that, everytime Eddie got carried away by angriness towards him (or anything), he would start singing "when Eddie said he didn't like his Teddy you knew that he was no good kid" just to make him angrier.
—Sometimes, the losers club would be waiting for Eddie to get ready outside his house and, when he finally came out, Richie would make his most ridiculous Dr. Scott voice and go "from the day he was born... he was trouble...".
—Everyone would be sick of all his references (specially when he would act like Frank N Furter or use "hot dog" as an insult) if he wasn't good. But the thing is that Richie is awesome at singing and acting and everyone is amazed by it.
—So, when one of their teachers asks the classroom to produce a musical as an important study project, of course Richie will suggest Rocky Horror.
—And, like the diva he has been becoming since he found this new passion and started to get all the cool parts at the drama club, everyone agrees that, no matter what the school may think, Rocky Horror is the best option.
—The auditions starts. Bill's stutter, instead of giving him troubles, makes him the perfect Brad. Beverly originally wants to play Columbia, but she has such a sweet voice that Janet becomes the ideal character for her to portray.
—Mike gets to play Rocky, basically because he is the one in better shape in the whole classroom. And Stan gets the narrator part.
—Our Dr. Frank N Furter is, surprise surprise, the superstar Richie Tozier, who accepts the honour like this is Broadway.
—Eddie and Ben aren't such good actors and singers, though. Actually, they kinda suck. Ben has troubles learning the dance routines and can't hit any note, and Eddie thinks this is stupid, anyway. (He's just so done with Richie making jokes about his name and that character who is called the same).
—So they take the parts of two random extras. They do the Time Warp in the background, sing "that ain't no crime" like it wasn't their only line in the whole thing and, even when Ben is upset because he has to watch Bev singing Dammit Janet with another guy, they try to do their best (failing comically).
—The problem starts when weeks go by and Eddie realizes he really appreciates Richie's efforts. Like, this is no joke for Richie. He actually takes it seriously, practices day and night (even while just hanging out with the losers), works hard to reach those notes and takes all the important creative decissions of the play.
—One day, he gives the classroom a heart-felt discourse about what "Don't dream it, be it" means and everybody just sits there and listen in an understanding silence.
—Then it hits Eddie. He likes Richie. He respects his passion, he admires his talent, he... he's kinda in love. He always has been.
—But this revelation doesn't hits him as much as finding out that it's the worst moment possible for being in love with Richie.
—Because Richie is now Frank N Furter. The dirty transvestite alien who rocks those heels and flirts with every fucking character.
—A horrified Eddie gets to watch the new found love of his life doing sexual disgusting moves, sitting on other people, running his hands all over Mike's chest/arms/legs, getting in a fake-bed with Bev and Bill, walking around in ridiculously sexy outfits and practically making out with EVERYONE but him.
—It gets even worse because, artistic or not, he's still Richie. So he will make jokes on his free time and won't shut up about how good that random girl's kiss was or how Mike carrying him bridal style was one of his personal goals. And, of course, that Bev and Bill thing won't get pass the radar.
—"Like, I know that they're the cutest couple ever and everything, but, man, it was fucking hot. Of course I'd rather be Rocky if Eddie's mother was Janet and she'd make me touch her juicy tits while singing Touch-a, touch-a..."
—"Beep beep, Richie", everyone says, but Eddie says it louder, and that comment about his mother isn't what bothers him the most.
—Ben is so sad about the Brad and Janet thing that he's secretly trying to write his own musical about her. Even if it's not that good and it'll never get done, he really wants to make it like he was Richard O'Brien himself.
—If he wasn't so busy trying to create this thing, he would have overheard one of those million of conversations between Bill and Bev, when they talk about how Brad would rather have the narrator and Janet is kinda starting to see Transylvanian #8 (Ben) with love eyes.
—On Eddie's side, he's getting so angry about everything that he barely wants to speak to Richie. And he knows he has no right to get angry because Richie's not actually his man but that's his man.
—When Richie notices that he's been avoiding him and comfronts him about it, Eddie plays dumb in a very resentful way and Richie, who is kinda stressed because the play is in two weeks, won't take it. So they have a argument that makes Eddie confess his feelings and run away.
—After that scene, Eddie doesn't show at the rehearsals again and teacher gets so mad that she writes him out of the play. (Not that his character had any line, anyway...)
—But the losers are furious. They were supposed to be all together in this. And he even stops hanging out with them. He won't pick up the phone and always success to avoid them.
—The day of the play, Bill gets to talk to him leaving him with no chance of scape. He asks why is he acting so weird and Eddie finally tells the true. He declared his feelings to Richie and he assumed Richie would reject him.
—Bill makes the biggest facepalm of history. Richie likes him back! Stan told him that Richie told him that he was scared because Eddie was so ashamed of liking him that he had run away inmediatly after confessing and that maybe he was disgusted by all the sweet transvestite thing.
—Eddie feels so stupid. He wants to go and tell Richie that he's the most cool guy ever and he loves him. But Bill convices him that the best thing he can do is wait after the play.
—And the play starts. Eddie is sitting there in the front row, ready to watch his future man giving the best performance ever.
—Bill and Bev totally kill it as Brad and Janet at the beggining and the middle and the end.
—Stan is the best telling the story and showing everyone how to do the Time Warp. And Ben isn't that bad either.
—Then our dear Frankie appears. Fabulous is an understatement. He's absolutely amazing. The heels, the clothes, the walk. His voice does things that Eddie didn't even knew that it could and he just takes over the stage.
—You really can feel Mike's Rocky's torment at the "Sword of Damocles" number and there's something about Richie with a corset on teaching a Mike in golden underwear how to apply Charles Atlas' plan that is fucking hilarious.
—Ben's powerful "that ain't no crime" and his screams when Frank kills fake Eddie are amazing, and real Eddie can't help noticing the way Bev lowkey stares at him.
—The bed scenes are annoying, as always, but Eddie just smiles because his crush is such a good actor and he will get the real thing as soon as he solves what he caused.
—Bev and Mike's Touch-a, touch-a, touch me is closer to funny than to sexy.
—The Janet, Dr. Scott, Janet, Brad, Rocky thing is funnier than ever.
—The floor show starts. Mike, Bill and Bev? Stunning as always.
—RKO tower. Richie up there. Omg. Whatever happened to Fay Wray? Eddie can barely breath. He's so in love and Richie is so cool and everything is so perfect.
—Don't dream it, be it. Eddie finally gets the meaning of that. He always had been dreaming about things that he thought he couldn't have, that he didn't deserved. Health, real friends, real love. And now he seems to get it. It's always been there. And while Richie makes out with Mike, Bill and Bev at the same time (wearing women clothes, btw), Eddie starts to cry because, God, amazing. Best feeling in the World.
—I'm going home. At last, Richie looks to the audience and he seems to see Eddie. He's too focused on his big number, but their eyes meet anyway, for a few, subtle seconds. Eddie wonders if Bill had the chance to tell Richie that the feeling is mutual.
—Frank and Rocky get killed as, with great sound and light effects, the castle flies away into space. The whole room is in complete silence.
—Bill and Bev do an amazing closing number and Stan's acting as the last character who says something as the light fades away is tears worthy. At least that's what Eddie hears the next day.
—He doesn't gets to see it himself because he's too busy getting behind the stage into the changing room, where Richie is sitting, waiting for his last appearence at the very end.
—Richie looks so surprised that is obvious he didn't expected Eddie being there. Not with a bouquet of roses for the play star.
—"Eds, what are you doing here?"
—"Don't call me that, hot dog", he smiles.
—A second later, they both run into each other arms and share a kiss that's even better than any make out scene in the play.
—When all the actors get back to stage for a final bow, everyone is surprised to see Dr. Frank N Furter showing up carrying a boy who abandoned the play with one arm and holding a bouquet with his free hand.
—But he doesn't even care. He just throws kisses all over the place and says thanks and pecks on real life Eddie's lips again and again.
—People is even more surprised when Janet lets go of Brad hand and reaches back to hold Transylvanian #8 arm and bring him to the front of the stage, kissing his cheek and whispering something about winter fire and things that no one gets to understand completely.
—Brad doesn't look too shock. He seems more interested in the narrator, who just smiles and waves at him from the opposite side of the stage.
—Everybody lives happily ever after, until, a few years later, at Eddie's 22th birthday party, Richie sings a weird thing called Dammit Eds and drops the ring more times than what the musical number demands because he's too nervous. Eddie blushes and begs him to stop and gets super angry, but he says yes anyway.
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blithers · 6 years
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Dear Yuletide Writer
Hello Fellow Yuletider! I love Yuletide, and I’m so happy you’re writing for me. I’m mostly active here on tumblr, and I’m blithers on AO3 as well. If you have questions, @htbthomas can help you out: she knows me and can keep a Yuletide secret.
Things I Like: Romantic longing. Bittersweet endings. Happy endings. People who are competent at their work. Humor. Flirting. First times. Sex! Porn! Co-dependency, all the way to its unhealthy extremes. Sarcasm. Forced marriages/pretending to be in a relationship. Things that are left unsaid. Soulmate AUs. Sharing a bed without having sex. Sex pollen. Desperation. Found families. Genderswaps (especially always-a-girl!AUs).
Things I Would Prefer To Avoid: Major character death. Pregnancy/babies.
Wonder Woman (2017) Diana Prince, Steve Trevor
I would really love straight-up shipfic for this couple. I found the movie so fun, and the Diana/Steve relationship was delightful and unique, albeit too short. I’m less interested in the DC universe as a whole (although cameos of other DC characters would be welcome, I’m greatly prefer Diana and Steve to be the focus of any story). In that vein, what about a modern-day hockey AU, where Diana is the first woman in the NHL, and Steve is the team captain reluctantly fascinated by her? Or any of the fandom classics - high school AU, reluctant college roommates AU, detectives-working-undercover AU, band AU, you name it. Alternately, if you wanted to stay a little bit more based in canon, what about a different setup for how the two of them meet: maybe Diana ends up in an arranged or pre-destined marriage with a human? Anything that gives the two of them more time together or explores their relationship in a different scenario than the movie did is going to be marvelous.
The Good Place (TV) Jason Mendoza, Janet
How much do I love Jason and Janet falling in love and getting married FOR ACTUAL FACTUAL REAL in the Good Place? A lot a lot, that’s how much. I am utterly charmed by their surprisingly sweet relationship, and fascinated by the oddities of it: show!Janet is a real Good Place Janet, and has such an poignant mixture of knowledge and innocence, and somehow that ends up being a perfect match for Jason, in all his d-bag inherently sweet glory. Prompts: I’d love anything playing with the format of the show (groundhog day loops! Janet needing Jason’s help after being rebooted each time! Jason keeps accidentally accessing pieces of information Janet has that can help them to escape!) or the strangeness of Janet’s AI falling in love with a human in the afterlife. And I do love the rest of the cast, so feel free to include anybody else you want, if you’re keen to. An ensemble-based fic about how everybody else keeps re-discovering and re-dealing with Jason and Janet hooking up/repeatedly marrying, would, for example, be amazing.
Hidden Legacy Series - Ilona Andrews Nevada Baylor
I inhaled the second and third books of this series earlier this year, and just love the world-building, relationship-building, and the everything-building of these books. I really like Nevada, and I’d be interested in a fic dealing either either Nevada’s relationship to her family (because OMG, I loved all the reveals of everybody’s various talents) or her relationship with Rogan. Feel free to focus on either of those requests and exclude the other - I’d love a fic about Nevada and her family (maybe vignettes focusing on the different times each person discovered their magical talents? Or future fic dealing with the fallout of the formation of House Baylor?) or just focusing in on Nevada and Rogan’s relationship (especially from earlier on, when they were reluctantly attracted to each other but skirting major issues: Magical sex pollen/fuck or die scenario? A telepathic or soulbond spell? A proximity spell so they can’t be more than a couple feet away from each other?) Where ever you decide to go with this, I’m along for the ride.
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summerdutkowsky · 7 years
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The Good Place (and also.. you guessed it.. Bomb Girls. if you want to that is)
The Good Place:
The character I love: the main four but mostly tahani and chidi
The character I hate: michael 
The character I would call if I was in trouble: tahani (i would say chidi but honestly he would probably be least helpful) oh wAIT janet. i’d call janet
The character who I’m in trouble with: eleanor without a doubt
The character I would trust to plan my birthday party: ummm have you seen tahani’s parties?
The character I would share fries with: all of the main four
The character who would be my best friend: main four, except maybe jason who would annoy me more often than not
The character I would hang out with on a rainy day: all of them, they all have their perks; chidi and i could talk books and shit; eleanor and i could talk about how much of a nerd chidi is; i’d endlessly flirt with tahani; and jason could talk music... i guess.... but mostly we could all chill and play board games and what not
Bomb Girls:
The character I love: betty, gladys, vera (all tied for number one in my heart)
The character I hate: umm any of the dudes except marco? mostly kate’s dad probably (it’s been way too long since i’ve watched this omg i have no idea)
The character I would call if I was in trouble: betty, she’s so ride or die and all fucking in with her friendships
The character who I’m in trouble with: betty 
The character I would trust to plan my birthday party: gladys? i guess?
The character I would share fries with: vera
The character who would be my best friend: beTTY so i could protect her always
The character I would hang out with on a rainy day: gladys
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missjaneinthesun · 7 years
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Janet King is back and all the lesbians are alive and having sex
Janet King Review / Recap S3.01
Janet King is back for a third season, and if you haven’t seen it you are missing out. This is Janet King on the screen, the way I’ve been dreaming about her.
Sadly, I missed the start because I turned the tv on and it was men talking about sport, so I went out into the kitchen to stock up on snacks. When I came back, I realised that the sport talk was part of some sort of court case and Janet was on the screen! Almost as importantly, next to her, was Ellen Mackenzie, I mean BIANCA. And she wasn’t wearing her “in disguise as a straight person” earrings.
As this was the beginning of an eight part season, I began to try to pay attention to the plot. The biggest surprise was that Poor Woman’s Stephen Fry is on the other team this year. He’s arguing against Janet in court.
The camera panned around and there were a number of familiar faces, and some expository dialogue to explain who’s who. Janet’s been in Fiji with the UN for two years, other people have had babies, changed jobs, etc. There are lots of well-known faces, many of which were on tv last Thursday night in Seven Types of Ambiguity, and pretty much every other show ever made, so all the explanation helps me out. This small pool of actors/actresses is what can help make Australian tv so rich, because of all the possibilities that open up if these shows are thought exist in the one universe. It’s why I am fully accepting that Bianca is just Mac from Stingers, all grown up. This time however we’ve expanded the borders and PC Garfield from the Bill is in sitting in court…
A new face to this franchise is Susie Porter. I squeed when her name came up on screen. But, when did that round-faced, freckled-faced young woman I had pictures of everywhere when I was a teenager, become old enough to play the slightly-corrupt, gin-soaked matriarch??
OMG. Forget about plot. Forget about Susie Porter. The bits you’ve seen giffed by now, started. JANET AND BIANCA BEING MUMMIES AT LITTLE ATHLETICS!
Hold on tight, because when Bianca and Janet are together outside the courtroom, it’s not in our imaginations, it’s not just touching; there is kissing. And more kissing. It is kissing well beyond anything required by the plot, well beyond anything that any straight person has got to do this ep.
Back in series one I was the downer who, rather than being excited by a lesbian as the titular character on a show, was angry that Ash and Janet showed so little affection in the first ep that many people thought that Ash was the nanny! (Meanwhile straight characters were humping and thrusting at every opportunity). So, all this gratuitous queer snogging is making me excited intellectually, and in other ways.
The show returns to plot. Sport, corruption, blah blah blah. Luckily Janet and Bianca are on screen a lot, and Janet knows so little about sport that there’s plenty of plot-necessary exposition for those of us who’ve been distracted.
THEN, FANFICTION HAPPENS. (Honestly, I wrote this once. I swear.)
Basically, there’s some sort of work reason for Janet and Bianca to go to Melbourne and stay in a hotel. They have to swagger down the hallway. They have to cutely get inside the door. They have to have a bath. Together. And kiss. And Janet has to kill the mood, because she’s Janet King, but by now Bianca knows to let it go, and wait for her girlfriend’s mind to switch back to the good stuff, and then there’s more kissing and some giggling. And maybe some talking, but I was completely distracted by trying to breathe and tweet and not die all that the same time.
Cut away to the moon, and then to Janet and Bianca in bed the next morning, holding hands.
More sport.
Janet Does Not Enjoy Sport. Neither am I: there are too many men on the screen. Bring Back the Lesbians, I yell at the tv.
Meanwhile, in the land of plot. Poor Women’s Stephen Fry is getting flirted with by someone called Lucy. Lucy turns out to be the gf of someone else. As to be expected. Straight white men do not do well in this show. This is shaping up to be 99% queer women and Muslims and twitter is going wild.
Some more new characters come and go, but as there are already two queer women, I naively assumed that all these ones are straight and failed to concentre very hard, until I remembered that this is Janet King, and this universe has had space for multiple queers before.
I’m not the only one struggling with plot and all the new characters. Everyone I follow on twitter has long ago stopped trying. We’re still processing that bath scene from twenty minutes ago. However, some themes for the series are clearly emerging: parents and children, and when does doing a favour for a mate become corruption.
The episode ended with a death, but, as @PBearfiftyfive pointed out on twitter, at least it wasn’t Bianca!
See you next week!
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pkanamika2002 · 4 years
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Rockytale (what? Another new au? come on!) Part 1
Frisk had more friends on the journey,the whole main casts of rhps.(except dr.scott)
They woke up and found that they were "teleported" to somewhere really deep,which is the ebott
Frisk's encounter is really hilarious: they got lapped by Rocky and saying " YOU ARE CRUSHING ME"
Everybody got changed and bathed by toriel,they all got their own sweaters (frank is not happy with this but he have to anyway lol)
Soon everybody started to close to frisk especially brad and janet, frisk even called them dad and mom and it was like frisk was here for both of them (they planned to get married and adopted frisk if they could get out of underground)
Columbia is such an adorable big sister to frisk,she loves them to death.
Toriel loves to make pie and magenta learns the recipe of that,she's literally a huge fan of it. And Toriel seems to have something in common with her and riff's mother so it made her even love goat mom so much.
Toriel's battle would somehow have a questions to the main rhps characters on how would they take care of frisk as well as her.
Frisk protects their friends omg
A journey to snowdin: fun and snowball fight!
Sans is a problem solver to everyone.
FRANK LITERALLY FLIRTS PAPYRUS OMFG
Yaya,get dunked onnnnn
Columbia become Pap's best friend and she have receive a "COOL GAL/GIRL" T Shirt and a cap which is really cute.
Magenta and Riff Raff hate sans' puns to their guts.
Escaping Undyne: Magenta fights back with ray guns!!! ANIME EPIC SCENE OMG
Magenta claims that she's Frisk's only bestie and Undyne is gonna fight with her but frisk and everyone said "MERCY!"
Later they become friends and yeahhhh lesbian !
Frisk teaches Frank on what is love, he let Rocky free to go anywhere and without hope, rocky comes back and sleeps under the bed.
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rowanartist · 5 years
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Fan Fiction Quotes 2018:
"'Interplanet Janet' is part of why I became an astrophysicist," Jane says." [X]
"Castiel, angel of the lord, has knitted a fully functional winter hat, and Dean doesn’t seem to be offended by it."[X]Tumblr
"you look like you could use either a hug or a mercy killing. And I don’t wanna get blood on this knife, I just cleaned it.”[Tumblr post]
"Oh, no, you don't. Not in my lab. This lab is an intimacy-free zone, it says so on the door. Does it? I'm putting a sign on that door. Get out of my lab, ingrates. Don't make me sic the robots on you.""[X]lol
"You guys? I'm serious. Dum-E has a fire extinguisher and you know how he loves using it...""[X]and then they ran gleefully
"He has to admit it’s a pretty magnificent feeling, on top of everything else today, to know that Steve will take care of him, whatever he needs."[X]not my thing, and yet the emotion/caring involved appeals to me...
"Steve, I know this is hard for you to believe, because you’re a pretty hardcore martyr, but I and a lot of other people love you and we want to take care of you. You’re not a burden."[X]you are not a burden. "The oatmeal that your loving boyfriend made for you. You should eat it.” He takes a spoonful and holds it in front of Steve. “You want me to make choo choo noises?”"[X]lol, I would not want choo choo noises!
'we said we loved each other. .... And then he force fed me oatmeal.'[X]paraphrased from a companion piece to the last two quotes. The response: "Well, he definitely sounds like a keeper." also: the last cat video
"You know, it’s okay if you are jealous. I know they don’t put that down as one of the attributes on Captain America’s action figure box, but human Steve gets to be jealous and mad and scared sometimes."[X]good thing to remember, just because people have one image of you doesn't mean you aren't allowed to feel other things "remembers hurting all the time. It made everything else fuzzy, harder to deal with. "[X]relatable
"Bucky is so beautiful, with a few lines around his mouth and the way his eyes crinkle when he smiles, those eyes so blue Steve’s searched for years for the right combination of colors and hasn’t been able to replicate the color. "[X]The song "Crayola doesn't make a color for your eyes"! I need to comment this to the author! Done.
"After everything they’ve been through, asking them to carry some of his weight feels selfish."[X]I know the feeling. It's part of why it took me so long to admit I needed any help, stuck on why do I deserve it.
"Steve has always moved slightly left of reality, where he prances like a goddamn circus pony in battle but collapses like a pile of bricks when he’s trying so hard to be sensual."[X]relatable, not the battle part, but sometimes I can be unexpectedly graceful. Unfinished fic because it really wasn't my thing at all.
"Sam’s been a tremendous help to Bucky’s recovery, and at least half of that comes from the way he takes care of Steve, too"[X]Sam does a lot for them
"Bucky had declared, I'm making you a damn sandwich, Steve, and you're gonna eat it, and Steve had shot back, fine, then I'm making you one; pass the bread, jerk."[X]that's a compromise I guess "“Quit blaming yourself,” he commanded. Steve took a drink to avoid answering and Bucky flicked water at him. “Bad soldier,” he scolded, mimicking the animal training show they were a little obsessed with. Steve rolled his eyes."[X]imagine someone with a spray bottle every time Steve got mopey or maytr like.
"Doctors have been telling Steve his problems are all in his head since day one. Bucky doesn’t much care for doctors."[X]relatable on both accounts
"And hell if Tony can deny the cuteness of it all."[X]not much of a stand alone quote but I needed to do something with it!
"Oh, the beanstalk will be to get me in bed, is that it?” Bucky winked. “Won’t take any beanstalk but the one you got between—"[X]lol! Fairytale innuendo! Goofy but fun and a reminder that Snow White came out in their time (that phrasing sounds like she's lesbian or bi)
"Above hangs a calculated grid of fairy lights, punctuated at regular intervals with simple paper lanterns."[X]sounds pretty. I'm a lighting nerd I guess.
"there’s a line between stupid and suicidal, and that’s where i live. "[Tumblr post, under keep reading ] much amusing, and this version of the post gas art ;)
"Hux stared at him, wondering how much more cliche this moment could get, and trying not to blush because he was utterly charmed by it."[ch: 4]it was kinda giving me a almost pretty in pink vibe "Remember, Ben? We were going to pick up some wood for the project, and measure some lengths to make sure everything will fit in the back."[ch X]omg, the innuendo
"But people getting help – real help – to live their lives – it’s easy to think about that being good when it comes to other people. It’s hard thinking about that for yourself."[X]another quote that makes me think of that one Dresden files quote - it really is a common sentiment " It can mean a lot when us mere mortals are feeling particularly down that even those with greater than human capabilities struggle with the same issues."[X]YES!
"upon himself to organize the whole thing, down to bullying the party supply store into making balloon arrangements with a superhero-ballerina-archaeologist theme"[X]draw?
"Kylo, I'm not doing this because I'm ‘dealing with’ you. I love you and I want to be able to you to help you when you need it."[X]good relationship! I kinda like the series?
"Bruce says imperfections are signs of a life well lived."[X]comment
"It was a small square. DOVE PROMISES was emblazoned on the foil. There was chocolate inside, and Bucky took the foil from him and smoothed it out before handing it back. TAKE TIME FOR YOU, it advised him. He gave Bucky a flat look and Bucky started laughing again. Steve couldn’t help how warm the sound made his chest feel."[X]laughter is the best medicine "I want a picture of two great world wonders."[X]awww sweet and cheesy! "[Bucky]“Laughing at a guy’s insults. You born in a barn or something?” [Steve]“I’m not the one whose last name is Barnes."[X]lol! "“I got it from Dr. Dove,” Steve admitted, and he didn’t hide the smile that stole across his face at Bucky’s laugh."[X]what he got: “Well, I can’t change the past,” he said. “But I can enjoy the present.” "Well, when you think literally everything is your fault, it makes you pull out those sad puppy eyes, and then the rest of us have to deal with feeling like we’re the reason Captain America looks like a golden retriever who just got yelled at. Asshole."[X]that's how caring about people can make you an unpleasant person. "“Can you hold these?” Bucky asked, pushing the souvenir bag into one of Steve’s hands. “And this?” He put his hand in Steve’s other hand."[X]these being souvenirs
"Steven, dearest, hath thee any 5s?"[X]while playing Go Fish and batting his eyelashes.
"It suits all of them, he thinks but doesn’t say, this trio held together by duct tape and determination and a hell of alot of target practice."[X]Clint, Kate and Lucky the dog.
"Another is a nude, Sherlock in one of his favorite sitting poses with one knee up and his hands wrapped around it, the other leg dangling toward the floor. "[X]the imagery/pose
"Sweet, studious, nervous little Mitaka. Who would never stand head and shoulder above anyone. Who would never take undue risks or tell your secrets. Reasonable, reliable Dopheld Mitaka. Who would never get mad or lash out and always react with kindness and understanding and who could never be impolite and always got the job done. Never thought of himself first. Who only got ahead in life when others failed. Who would always sit quietly and never argue. Never fight back. Never do anything special but who was always useful in his own way until you grew tired of him. Who would never argue when you decided to move on from him. Always stayed down after you’d thrown him there. Who always did the right thing and would never be worth anyone’s."[ch:1]you're such a good listener *bitter feeling*
"he said it was the most painful thing he’d ever felt, the supersoldier easy bake experience included. "[X]very amusing tumblr!
"You are far too modest, my little lightning sister."[X]Thor has some great compliments! "Tony, remember how we talked about the importance of using your words instead of doing weird megalomaniac billionaire things? This was one of those times."[X]i love fan fiction giving us more Darcy!! "Brucie! You know all those times you told us that you weren’t a medical doctor? This is going to be another one of those times where we ignore you."[X]lol "You’re saying that because you think I’ll balance out Steve, aren’t you? I get to be good cop to his bad cop. The fun aunt to his stick-in-the-mud dad routine."[X]hell yeah!
"But [Ben] also learned some less practical things from Artoo.” [Stick that in your dataport and process it!]"[X]nanny C3PO and bad influence R2D2
" quiet of the corridor had begun to make Hux’s ears ring with phantom static"[X]thanks for the words! (As I experience this as I read instead of sleep with a headache.
"I’m sulking, Ren. It’s remarkable you don’t recognize it in another person."[X]sass!
"I’ll add you to the list of approved pillows."[X]cute, sweet and funny fic! Also, check out the author's other Darcy fics! "Good morning to my favorite terrifyingly competent duo, reunited once more."[X]comment
"Hux: "Hey, Kylo, are you sure you're not of the Light Side?" Kylo: "Yes, why?!" Hux: "Because you blind me every time I look at you.""[X]cheesy flirting
" i figured, if she could keep tony from accidentally getting himself killed while rocketing around in a stainless steel onesie, she can talk steve into occasionally actually using a parachute. "[X]bribing Pepper to scold National heroes...
"Bucky looks. He looks for what feels like five solid minutes. Steve’s mind can be a strange place, and it’s not always easy to see where he gets his ideas"[X]my boyfriend can probably relate to this "Except Bucky is almost sure Joseph Rogers never wrapped himself in the American flag and went out to lift a car. Definitely not a shiny red convertible with a license plate that reads CAPTAM, and three chorus girls beaming from the open roof."[X]to draw. "Howling Commandos—they called us Captain America’s legendary strike force, though I really must say that we were just a rabble of con artists with no sense of self-preservation—he was right there next to Steve."[X]yep "But for the record, I like the idea of a smart, scrawny kid living on his wits a lot more than a super-fast, super-strong, deathless demi-god. I relate to that a hell of a lot "[X]comment "Steve might not see reds and greens exactly right, but he’s got all his paint tubes and coloured pencils labelled with painstaking care, and his mathematical mind processes RGB values and hexadecimal codes just fine. "[X]the nerd in me likes this
"but one time he borrowed my dont-touch-me black leather motorcycle jacket and managed to make that look badass for a little while. and then he let a little girl in central park facepaint a sunflower on his left cheek, which pretty much spoiled and sort of badass look he might have been managing. which wasnt much, because he was still wearing khakis."[X]draw
"Knowing that these two men, these goddamned heroes, they love him enough to seehim, enough to take his burden as their own, just for a little while, just so he can rest – it overwhelms him."[X]comment
"Don’t worry. I’ll put him on the stealth team, then only Natasha and Clint’ll have to deal with him, and they’re not afraid to drug a friend."[X]adrenaline leads to talkative Bucky
"Improbably, Parker had found a bag of marshmallows and was using what looked like some kind of electricity-based torture device to toast one over the fire."[X]warning post Leverage finale "Oh, the FBI's giving you grief? Shit, that's no problem. Parker and I are FBI agents."[X]lol
"No stabbity. Social problem, man, you'd hear me yelling if we had a stabbing problem"[X]the joys of having two very different jobs i guess ;)
"Parker put on her red light-up nose and beamed at him, the most lethal reindeer of all."[X]yep! Very Parker - cute and deadly!
"[Peggy Carter is] famous. She’s like the patron saint of women who do things they’re not supposed to do,"[X]comment
"Me and my clockwork boyfriends,” Steve said affectionately. “You two just stay there and charge up; I want round two after breakfast.”"[X]tumblr, copperbadge
"His rumbling, gruff voice warmed Hardison like the artisanal spiced latte he’d perfected for the pub."[X]comment "Just feel how good it is, being together, safe and warm and happy. We’re gonna take good care of you, darlin, love you like you deserve."[X]'really, it’s what the touch means.' "Parker had built such strong defenses, she didn’t know how to crack them."[X]the words! "When it’s just me and Alec, it’s like, I can’t stop thinking. There I am, there he is. I love him, and I want it to be so good, and it can’t be because my brain just goes faster and faster and I can’t feel "[X]words
"Eliot,” he starts, and that’s his gentle voice, the voice he uses on scared clients and Parker when she’s having a melt down."[X]he being Hardison "You’ve left before. We all leave every once in awhile. But you always come back. For us."[X]yeah, sometimes space is needed
"We haven’t fucked in five days and my balls are as blue as Neptune.” “That’s not a description I needed, Barnes,” Sam calls from the open door two flights above them. “Well, blame Steve,” he calls back, “It’s his fucking fault, or his not fucking, really.” "[X]lol
"Steve can barely use Google; Bucky loves Twitter and all things social media. Instagram is the greatest invention in the entire future."[ch1?]where he picked up "as if" "“Ma’am,” is all Bucky can really think to say because he figures this is Wanda and he doesn’t’ like pretty women being afraid of him. Likes it less when they’re practically kids."[ch3]comment "They aren’t afraid of you. They’re afraid of your power being used by someone without your heart.”"[ch3]Awww "Bucky finds himself an empty corner. Sitting against the wall, he pulls his knees to his chest so no one steps on him."[X]relatable
"“And totally lewd.” Yuuri corrects, “anyway, it’s embarrassing.” “Oh, Yuuri.” Sighing, Viktor angles his head to kiss his silly boyfriend. “I’m just trying to get you to see yourself the way I see you." "[X]...
"That explains why Cap keeps looking like a kid lost at a county fair crossed with an angry doberman."[ch1]lol
"Sam, Bucky's been sighted in Budapest, I packed your toothbrush with your socks by accident."[X]comment "Sam's starting to suspect his comic book collection may have lied to him when it came to just how brotherly that relationship was, but hey, no judgement. Only mild concern."[X]comment
"that Bruce is convinced that he deserves about as much trust from everyone else as he gives himself. It’s the difficulty of letting yourself get vulnerable after so many years of being in solitude and having no one."[X]relatable to a degree
"Drachenfutter: (German)- literally “dragon fodder”, the gift a husband gives his wife when he’s trying to make up for bad behavior"[X]dragon fodder is much more fun than dog house! Maybe he's in the dragon den? "“Go on and run yourself out, I’ll meet you on the grass in 45 minutes,” Sam told him. No further prompting needed, Steve took off running."[X]Sam is a great bro "That you’ve ever done something so reckless even a mentally challenged clam would know better?"[X]ha! "And you ran around getting in fights like a snapping turtle on roller skates even before"[X]amusing
"In Bible times, a man would strike with the back of the hand, to show power over someone else. It was a gesture of contempt as well as aggression. But,” he waved his hand to the other side, “If after being struck with the back of the hand, his opponent turned his head and offered the other cheek, the aggressor would have no choice but to strike with the palm—not as a man might beat his oxen, but the way one fights with an equal. So, without raising a hand in retaliation, the persecuted demands to be treated with dignity.”"[X]sounds believable "Wrath is a sin. When we let our anger consume us, when we feed it, tend it the way we should be tending the good in our lives, then it is a sin. Anger and violence are like a river, they can nourish or they can destroy. It’s up to you to determine which.”"[ch1]interesting philosophy "You are still a good man, Captain Rogers. Doubt and anger may hide that from you, but they are shadows, they cannot destroy something as solid and tangible as a soul.""[ch2]comment "Being angry at a man is easy. You forgive him or you do not. Either way, that anger is clear and direct. Being angry at an institution, a country, a church— there is no one place to direct that anger. It scatters like light through a prism. The only thing to do is to decide whether the institution is, at its core, worth saving"[ch2]more philosophy
"All of a sudden, Yuri, without thinking about it very hard, had let all the pieces of agape slip into place inside his head and his heart. His дедушка. Lilia and Yakov. Otabek. Even the piggy and fucking Viktor. No matter how much he yelled and thrashed at him, they were there for him. He wasn’t quite ready to use the word “love” (except *maybe* for дедушка), but he could see. He could understand. He already had friends. Not that he’d ever let any of those fuckers know "[ch1]lol "the words that came out of Yuri’s mouth frequently required translation from angry kitten to human being, and he was determined to begin work on a dictionary. "[ch1]yup! Followed by awww
"He probably looks 9 times as beautiful when it’s just him, just skin, endless scars that all tell his story, that all tell the world ‘I survived’."[X]remember, you're a survivor
"“When you encounter difficulties and contradictions, do not try to break them, but bend them with gentleness and time.”"[X]Francois de Sales ""Have patience with every one, but especially with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections.""[X]Francois de Sales "I’ve been patient, I am patient, and I’m trying but it’s just so hard"[X]Bucky, i relate "Steve takes several deeps breaths in and out and reminds himself that Bucky’s not angry with him, he’s angry near him."[X]Steve, I also relate ""True progress quietly and persistently moves along without notice.""[X]Francois de Sales
"Less talking,” Yuuri pants, tilting his head and hoping Victor will get the message, “more hickeys for me to regret next time I go out in public."[X]comment
"It had been incredibly difficult for Yuuri to try and explain to Viktor that no, there was nothing really wrong, and yet everything was wrong all at once"[X]relatable
"Yūri couldn’t sleep. He twisted and turned in his bed, pulling the sheets up, pushing them back down, stretching out, curling into a ball… it was no use. He couldn’t get comfortable."[X]the words! "When Yūri was dealing with something, he tended to deal with it alone. He didn’t like people thinking he was weak, or that he couldn’t cope"[X]oh...
"As King, there was no reason he had to train the knights himself but according to Arthur, clanking swords and working up a sweat was quite the remedy for the stress of being King."[X]reminds me of my boyfriend.
"Probably because you’re always too distracted by Merlin’s pretty mouth on your cock, husband mine.”"[X]oh. Merlin was shocked by her language!
"Are you undressing my future wife, Merlin?" "Well it is my job to serve, my lord,” [Merlin] said. "[X]cheeky! Good thing he likes him
"And secondly, if getting righteously dicked down by you is going to interfere with my skating, I’m just going to have to learn to do quads with a sore ass."[X]comment
"The only better view is @katsuki-y “Awwww, you’re too good to me,” Victor purred and left the caption, posting it. “I feel like I’m complimenting myself,” Yuuri protested weakly. “As well you should,” Victor answered, "[X]remember. My boyfriend and me.
"No. It was very unfashionable. You were very attractive, though. And your lack of inhibitions regarding clothing was very fashion-forward."[X]amusing, regarding Yurii's tie at THE banquet...
"John had taken days to convince that this could work, but once he’d had his little protest about ‘normal’, he had accepted that he was no more normal than Mary or Sherlock, though marginally better at faking it, "[X]you can fake normal but why? This is the declaration of the marriage between William Sherlock Scott Holmes And John Hamish Watson And Mary Elizabeth Morstan Each one to the other two In love and trust In respect and faith We will all three be true to each other Be friends to each other Cherish each other We will stand by each other And for each other And with each other The secrets of our pasts are our own to keep. The challenges of our future Are our privilege to share We choose each other, we three We choose this life together
"‘Oh yes. My brother. So lovable it takes two people to do it properly"[ch3] "Mrs Holmes’s cheeks dimpled at the way her littlest boy’s eyes lit up and he kept on smiling at his … spice, even though he pretended to be annoyed at all the fuss." Plural of spouse...
"Gwen’s ladies-in-waiting worked hard for her, and they were entitled to the treat of seeing Merlin’s sweet little rounded ass in form-fitting clothing."[x] amusing
"Bet you didn't think you'd be adopting a hyperactive genius and two incredibly attractive senior citizens."
And I see you have your GPS set on me." Bucky nods at Steve’s boxers, and only when Steve looks down does he notice his obvious morning wood jutting out in Bucky’s general direction."[x] "I know it’s just in my head, Steve, but that doesn’t make it any less real!" [Same]
“Your face is true art.”[x]low effort come back to popular art "...how the hell did this happen, it’s Wednesday, she’s retired, and Stella didn’t even do anything this time." [Same] Stucky double genderbent
"Casual touches tended to have that effect on him, and it always tugged at her heart that someone so fundamentally sweet and kind, for all he liked to cover it up, should be so surprised by gestures of affection."[x]relatable
"Steve may not take the best care of himself, but he will never fail to take care of someone he considers a responsibility. Plus, you turned it into a challenge.”[ch3] spot on! "There were two circumstances when he seemed to retreat behind Cap’s shield for safety. Not the physical one, but the emotional equivalent."[ch4] "This kinda thing, though, that’s different. Abstract art boils things down to their basic concepts. A good artist gives you the structure and framework of the story, the tone and mood, but they don’t give you the words. The viewer has to tell the story themselves, and that means it’s always personal. Maybe different every time someone looks at the painting. The artist isn’t telling you a story, they’re giving you one.”[ch4] "In the past few weeks she’d come to realize that he avoided touch almost as much as she did, and yet longed for the contact no less than her. For different reasons, both in the avoidance and the need, but that didn’t make the desire any less real."[ch4] “But it’s yours, and means something to you, yes?” She smiled at him. “So it will mean more to me than the prettiest painting from a stranger.”[ch4] "It made sense that to her, the mind would be the defining feature, rather than appearance."[ch5] "Wanda had lived in the midst of danger for so long, she’d forgotten what it felt like to be sheltered and protected. The sensation was addicting,"[ch7]either that or it can be confusing to have someone to lean on after much time struggling to be independent
“Sometimes I wonder,” he admitted, sighing. “Sam asked me once what makes me happy, and I couldn’t answer him. I still can’t, beyond ‘helping people’. “Then let’s find out, together,” Wanda suggested, catching his hand in hers and holding tight. “We can start with your favourite movie.””[ch3]
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Season 2 Episode 17: Heart
I should be asleep, but instead I’m going to watch an episode. I’m really far down the rabbit hole... I can’t stop thinking about the last episode (Roadkill). It felt a lot like an episode of Dead Like Me. 
- That’s called sexual harassment. 
- LOL! That looked like Bucky Barnes as the Winter Soldier. I mean, clearly not, and she’s likely going to die. Oh? Is that Nate’s office? WOAH!!!! Talk about mutilation. That is... Damn. 
- IS THAT JANET FRAISER AS THE CORONER???? IT IS!!!! JANET I HAVE MISSED YOU SO MUCH!!!!!
- Man, Dean, you are WAY too excited about this werewolf thing. Also, go to Disneyland after you kill it? Does that mean that the last time the boys ran into one they were in LA and somehow, by some miracle, managed to convince John to take them to Disneyland? I bet Sam’s puppy dog eyes of doom had something to do with it.
- Dude, Kurt, you are so weird. Totally looks like Bucky Barnes, He just needs the baseball hat. Ooooh, there’s something in the apartment. CLAW MARKS! And that’s going to be a dead cop soon. Without a heart. 
- “No, screw that. Why do you always get to hang out with the girl?” “Cause I’m older.” That is just such an older brother response. Are they going to play rock paper scissors to settle it the “old fashioned way”? THEY ARE!!!! LOOOOL!!!!!!! Dean, always with the scissors. LOL!!!! AND HE DOES ALWAYS USE SCISSORS! OMG THAT’S SO PRECIOUS!!!!
- HAHAHAHA!!! Sam sucks at this. You are really out of practice at flirting with girls. I love that Dean totally knows it, too. What show were they watching? 
- All these episodes keep having the same theme thrown at Sam. You can either keep feeling sorry for yourself and being scare, or take control of your life. 
- HAHAHAHA!!! Dean is enjoying himself at the strip club, LOL!
- HAH!!! I was JUST wondering if she was the werewolf and she IS! Does she know she’s a werewolf????
- Dean, this is not about the girl anymore. This is about Sam. Sam is projecting so hard... Awh. “I’ll just be a bad memory.”
- Yah, like those zipties were going to hold down a werevolf. LOL!
- OH! IT WAS THE NEIGHBOR!!! I KNEW THAT NEIGHBOR WAS WEIRD LOOKING AND FISHY!!! Huh. Looks like the humans don’t actually remember when they turn. That’s really sad... They go around killing people and don’t even know that they’re doing it...
- LOL! YES! Thank you Madison! Their car is totally not inconspicuous for stake-outs. Well, at least Madison is being a good sport about it... HAHA! Dean does not get a hug.
- Woah, wait, there’s like, 9 minutes left of the episode... What else is going to happen...? Well, looks like Sam is finally getting some. Damn, Padelecki... Nom nom. Except that we still have almost 7 minutes left.  Aaaaaaand she turned. 
- And there it is! “She’s a good girl but part of her is-” “Evil?” “Yeah.” “That’s what they say about me, Dean. So me you won’t kill but her you’re just gonna blow away?” 
- I wonder where she found the clothes. 
- THIS SHOW!!!! IT’S KILLING ME!!! She’s asking Sam to do what he’s been asking Dean to do! And Dean is just looking on WITH THIS FACE! THIS SHOW!!!!!! “This is the way you can save me. I’m asking you to save me. Please.” I CAN’T!!!! AND DEAN!!! AND SAM!!!! CRYING LIKE THAT!!! I CAN’T!!! THIS SHOW!!! I’M ABOUT TO START CRYING!!!!
AND DEAN!!!! DEAN!!!!! I CAN’T! I JUST CAN’T!!!!! HE’S SEEING HIS LITTLE BROTHER SO TORN UP ABOUT HAVING TO KILL THIS POOR GIRL! AND JUST-- THINKING THAT ONE DAY THAT’LL BE HIM HOLDING A GUN TO SAM’S HEART!!!  HE’S SEEING HIS FUTURE WHERE HE’LL HAVE TO KILL SAM TO SAVE HIM!! 
OMG THIS WAS SO SAD!!!!! THESE LAST TWO EPISODES ARE SHREDDING MY POOR HEART APART!!! 
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