#and its getting really hard to live with being constantly disappointed by things not working out

[tacagen]

Healthy Eobarry AU

(yes its just called that. no there is no actual romance, the word eobarry is here only so i dont have to write 'barry and eobard' all the time im talking about them. some things are very close to that tho but thats just the way it always is with thawne.)

the core idea: eobard is still a flash fan from the 25th century with a huge crush but he never wanted to be a hero like barry. he always wanted to go back in time and become flash's archnemesis instead, so there is no rejection abandonment and disappointment drama at all. not a single trace of canon hatred, thawne just wants to have some good time with his favorite hero in a weird way. barry, on the other hand, has no idea what the fuck is even going on. the vibe is most reminiscent of silver age eobarry. their dynamic:

ALSO their dynamic: this jla short

the lore:

they first meet in 21st century. eobard just finds barry, comes up to him like 'omg hi flash!! im your fan from the future and i just synthesized myself the speedforce connection to go back in time and meet you irl :)', waits exactly until barry believes and starts marveling at that fact, goes 'BUT THERE'S ALSO THIS LITTLE THING YOU SHOULD KNOW :)))) youre probably wondering why these colors. well, i call myself the reverse-flash and actually im here to cause problems for you on purpose. NOW CATCH ME IF YOU CAN :D', runs off to break the brakes of a bus carrying children or something like that while barry stands for a few seconds like 'huh. reverse? where are you going?'

right after barry, utterly confused and shocked, averts the situation thawne caused, he goes 'WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL WAS THAT?? DIDNT YOU JUST SAY YOU WERE MY FAN??' which thawne answers with 'wow. you really thought i was one of these boring "my favourite person of all time inspired me to become a hero like them" rip-offs with no imagination, didnt you? tsk tsk, i am so disappointed'

secrecy of their identities to each other isnt a thing since the very first fight. 'by the way, my name is eobard thawne! and i know you're barry allen, i actually know most of the 21st century heroes' identities but i promise you can trust me with that!'. indeed, he doesnt reveal this to anyone or threaten to do so but trust isnt exactly the right word either as thawne fucking loves visiting barry while they're both in their civil clothes at times + itwasmebarry still becomes a thing (elaborated on further below).

thawne is faster than barry here from the very beginning on pure theory and little to no speedster experience but only because barry just desperatly tries to process all the information he recieves from thawne every time they fight along with handling whatever endangering civilians shit eo does and he isnt doing well. at all. like, it does require a lot of hard effort not to lose your mind while constantly being hit with stuff like 'OOOHH DID I MENTION THAT I WORK AS THE CURATOR OF THE FLASH MUSEUM IN THE 25TH CENTURY?!? BTW WE STUDY YOUR HISTORY IN SCHOOL IN COMICS FORM, ISNT THAT AMAZING?!!'

thawne never shuts up. thawne genuinely enjoys the whole thing and admires barry an impossible amount and he's always fascinated by every aspect of the speed force, especially seeing and using it in action. thawne never acts like a normal villain as in 'commit crime->run away/fight the hero/watch the chaos'. he does something that endangeres people's lives (ALWAYS in front of barry because that is the whole point) then runs alongside barry as he saves everyone, never initiating the fight and ENDLESSLY commenting on everything barry does with consideration of flash facts, speed force and other physics stuff and even barry's personal background. it always goes like 'must do this and this to get everyone to safety!-' and thawne, instantly from somwhere behind barry's left shoulder: 'YES you DO, because this this and this and of course you could try that but-' and it goes on for 5 minutes on superspeed at the very least. from a non-speedster perspective, it looks like two blurs with lightnings, red and yellow, are saving people and going with some kind of weird squeaking high-pitched sound, which is never there if there is only flash around.

by the way, the rule that it is Very important for thawne to touch barry at any given chance and prolong it by going faster than him is still present. the same goes for becoming a speedster partially to have an opportunity to get away from 25th century and its mildly or not so dystopian shit and boringness. doesnt really realize the first part tho, sometimes casually drops some crazy ass facts about his future as something totally normal (like that one good-bad detection chair from silver age that gets a cameo in rs) and gets confused when the reaction is something like '.....i am so sorry.'

THE SAME ALSO GOES FOR 'IT WAS ME BARRY', its just way more lighthearted and has the purpose only of annoying and messing with barry through slight inconveniences in his life and it is a whole another part of their enemyship outside of the usual tag games. examples: 1. barry in his lab, extremely tired and almost exhausted, stumbles on air, says 'dammit eobard, this again??'. thawne unphases nearby with an offended look, goes 'HEY. THAT WASNT ME.', demonstratively pushes barry's mug with coffee off the table like a cat, 'now this was me, barry', grins and runs off before barry can do anything; 2. imagine thawne's excitement when he plays chess in iron heights, looks away, notices yellow lightnings with the corner of his eye and turns to the board again only to find that his queen is gone. the very next encounter starts with thawne running around barry in circles like 'it was you. it was you. IT WAS YOU! ITWASYOUWASNTIT!!'

this thawne is incapable of murdering anyone close to barry or ever hurt him at all. the best he can do is threaten anyone's life in barry's sight (and he knows barry will save everyone. more, he never arranges the events with the chance of barry not being fast enough to save every single life threatened so it isnt a big deal) because in other case he just wont come out to play with him :( ((i dont think thawne's generally capable of murder here? he feels too silly for that to me))

following important things: 1. barry obviously never killed thawne because he never did anything that extreme. 2. nora allen is alive and well and probably met thawne personally. he visits her in his civil clothes and acts in the nicest way possible, barry hears about the mysterious friend from work he never mentioned later and chokes on tea as nora recalls 'what did he say his name was? edward taurine?' 3. BARRY'S DOG IS STILL DEAD THO but it actually was an accident. he still blames himself for not shutting the back door that day in the way he blames himself for the not emotional enough postcard for his grandma in dc superhero girls. (see also: this vid but its about the dog instead of nora) ((ALSO thawne is most likely actively empathetic about it because he cant stand seeing barry sad or hurt. unfortunately he is also actively neurodivergent so that turns out to be awkward))

they team up often but barry is never aware of that as it happens out of his control. thawne has every single event that threatened barry marked in his calendar and an alarm set for it and he just shows up there like 'fuck you, this is MY archnemesis/idol/inspiration and nobody is going to fucking hurt him'

barry is generally always in the state of confusion when it comes to thawne. he doesnt understand what's going on like 80% of the time. as thawne never gets any clearer to him, barry just accepts that this, at some point, is now a part of his life.

instead of love letters, thawne writes and sends barry personally discovered speed force equations like 'look!! this is how it all works there!!' and occasionally mentions other science things discovered after 21st century. barry reads all that, understands and sometimes uses those against thawne who is completely delighted by that.

one day thawne manages to lock barry up in anti-meta cell and spends the following 3 hours on MATHEMATICALLY PROVING THE EXISTENCE OF THE SPEEDFORCE TO HIM STEP BY STEP, reciting his dissertation verbatim which was written in the context of no one knowing and caring about the concept.

thawne participates in the legion of doom and other supercriminal associations out of 'is flash gonna be there?? whatever youre planning im in, just leave him to me and me alone'. probably doesnt even listen to the scheme details and learns about it directly from barry in the final fight when he asks him 'eobard?? what?? the?? fuck?? why are you participating in something that's ultimate goal is DESTROYING THE FUTURE??'. (or others just stopped telling him the details, OR he doesnt listen on purpose after that one time he edited the whole plan like 'oh cmon do you actually think you could succeed with THIS?? let me show you how its actually done' only for them to lose epically. whats worse is that thawne saw it as something obvious. 'wait you really thought it would work?? cmon the whole point of being a supervillain is that the good guys always stop you no matter what you come up with.' they naturally never let him speak on the plans again which he responded with 'WHATEVER. YOU DO YOU IG. NOT GONNA INTERFERE AGAIN :/') unironically protects barry in group fights if any other villain is trying to aid him against the flash and attacks his own allies for that (barry once uses that to his advantage to take out the whole legion one by one lmfao. thawne genuinely doesnt notice that he is the only one standing until barry mentions it. he takes a moment to look around and that's when barry takes him out, too). as you can figure, he doesnt get invited into villain associations often, and if he does its usually the last resort bc he is a Genius Even By Future's Standards and therefore one of the most competent scientists out there.

nobody wants to sit at the same table with thawne in iron heights or interact at all because he instantly starts infodumping about the flash and their relationship. you accidentally get closer than like 2m to him and after a few seconds he just goes 'me and flash are best enemies, you know? we even always wear matching suits, oh and did you know-'

thawne gets mad if you compare his suit with kid flash because his suit has a Deep Idea and acktually he got to 21st century before wally was also struck by lightning and therefore was here first (yep, he did that on purpose and it gets revealed the very same moment he mentions it)

speaking of kid flash. thawne argues with him at any given chance because fighting a literal child on who is the biggest flash fan is something he would do on a daily basis. it just feels right (and it shouldve happened in canon at this point at least once. fucking Come On dc. almost 60 years of thawne's existence and for what!!). his points are that: he is the flash's Equal (even in height. thawne is very fucking proud of that fact) and not a pathetic sidekick; he got powers after years of hard scientific work and not by coming to barry's lab at the right moment; he is an Expert, a Professor, a Curator of the flash museum and knows everything about flashes, including the things they dont know themselves yet (he accidentally reveals that wally is also gonna be the flash but is quick to claim that he was the slowest and dumbest of them all and actually fuck you ima erase that from the timeline later), 'therefore l + ratio + IM his biggest fan and there is nothing you can do about it' 'lmaoooo who the heck taught you these words?? dude you sound so cringe. like do you even know what ratio means??' '*thinking it's just a figure of speech from 21st century literature classics or something like that for his whole life* well i- h- wh- DONT CHANGE THE SUBJECT.' wally doesnt care at all and just trolls him, harshly at times. he doesnt take thawne even a little bit seriously, which eo tragically doesnt realize.

thawne's comedically jealous of barry to iris between the lines and is completely unaware of that. the same thing going on with the rogues about emenyship with barry but that one is direct and on purpose. probably fucking jumps in their fights with flash like 'hi i just took out cap cold for you no need to thank me <3 now, can WE dance?? :|' every now and then. probably it gets super awkward when they inevitably end up in iron heights together that same day. honestly i think every supervillain who met thawne wants to kill him at this point. he's extremely annoying, both on purpose and not

thawne finds and starts nitpicking the first curators and architects of the flash museum in 21st century from the very project stage like 'NO it should stand THE OTHER WAY everyone shut up im from the future i Know Better'. it continues right until barry comes to pick him up and apologise for the inconvenience. 'eobard, i know this place means... a lot to you but please let history run its course. i mean, arent you risking your whole existence by trying to make these changes?' 'BUT THEY'RE DOING IT WRONG >:('

CANONICALLY ALMOST DROWNS 3M AWAY FROM A BRIDGE WHILE TRYING TO RUN ON WATER WITHOUT KNOWING HOW TO DO THAT YET OR AT LEAST HOW TO SWIM. every time barry mentions that incident thawne blushes like hell out of shame. imagine being saved from the lake by your crush/nemesis/everything who is actually Worried that you almost drowned out of your own stupidity which kind of covers the cringefail at first so youre enjoying the Moment but then you hear 'why did you even decide to run across the lake, there was a bridge nearby?'. thawne BEGS barry not to tell anyone (and especially wally). that probably was the first time thawne actually stayed in iron heights for longer than half an hour without getting out the very second everyone looks away on barry's condition of secrecy. now, the funniest part? if thawne hadnt shown that it was cringe even to him, barry wouldnt even say a single thing any further. to him it was a usual impossible to grasp shit thawne does every single encounter.

thawne considers heroes and their morals objectively dumb but his thoughts on barry having the same mindset are 'god he is SO adorably naive. so pure. so innocent. havent done anything wrong in his life. sweetest cinnamon roll of all times'. occasionally tells him that out loud because he has no fucking shame except when it comes to the lake incident

his own set of morals is just 'be gay do crime' where be gay stands for teaming up with barry on practically everything that isnt their one on one fights.

following: other villains are dumb to him as well. sometimes complains to barry about how nobody Understands him and his superior taste in being a supervillain, especially in the legion. poor barry just tries to get some rest between work and superheroing and then thawne casually comes running out of fucking nowhere, lies down on his lap and starts venting about how barry is the only one that Gets him on superspeed.

#eobard thawne #professor zoom #reverse flash #the flash #barry allen #eobarry ig? #healthy eobarry au #wanna know how i came up with such brilliant concept? I FUCKING DREAMED IT. #my ass has gotten so focused on canon shit that this wasnt even a conscious idea. i had to have my brain randomly pull this out on me #anyway it was a comic with dcau drawing style. thawne was having the best time possible and barry could barely keep up with his wordflow #the point that starts with 'thawne never shuts up' comes directly from how it was in the dream #they are so precious to me

[youn9racha]

Hidden Album

pairing: han jisung x gn!reader (well solo)

genre: smut

synopsis: tour was fun for jisung, he loved performance and satisfying hsi audience. however, not as much as how much he loves and misses you while away. and once he succumbs to his loneliness and horniness, he has to relieve himself in some way...

warning: sextape, masturbation, chan being a wise geezer, confusing pov (?), nudes,,, ig thats it

words: 1.3 k

a/n: its the way ji won over min,,, sorry seungminnie

This is no way representative of the way Stray Kids act. They’re nothing but references of character, and in no shape or form is this how they act. And I am in no way romanticizing or glamorizing any toxic behavior exhibited, they’re just stories that is meant to be read. Readers discretion is advised.

Jisung lies there with his head facing up to the ceiling, one hand placed underneath his head and the other on his chest. He was in the middle of touring so—albeit excited to roam the world, see his fans and perform in front of an audience than the usual camera crew—once again he had to spend his time away from you, despite insisting that you join along him for some time. However, with conflict of work times, it proved difficult so you two resorted to video calls, but even so, due to the time zones depending on where he resides, it added another conflict on the table, but you two never slowed down from the interactions and still tried to call from time to time when both of you happened to be awake. Otherwise, texting was another solution that would solve the problem.

It was nighttime where he is staying, and unfortunately, the time when more than likely you’d be sleeping, and Jisung ended up having the room to himself for a bit meanwhile Minho goes out doing what he usually is best doing; harassing Hyunjin and Changbin. He sighs as he allowed loneliness to get the best of him, he thought for an introvert like him should cherish this alone time, but he would be dead wrong as his craving for your touch begins to increase. How your hand would roam his body, how your lips perfectly molded onto his, how his hand would squeeze the soft, plump skin of your breast, or the teeth marks you two would give each other, blinded by the loving lust you two have for each other.

He ended up catching goosebumps at the sudden vivid imagination he just had and propping himself up as he stared blankly at his growing tent, which he groans at himself in disappointment.

“Really?”

He shook his head at himself at the sight he is seeing before he looks at the door. He must get rid of the standing man in his pants before Minho comes in and starts mocking him, and who knows how long Minho would be gone. Jisung sighs in defeat as he grabbed his phone and sat himself up as he unlocked his phone.

At first, he opted to text you if you were awake, but once checking the time where you live, it was too late for you to be awake, and he didn’t want to disturb you because of his silly problem. So Jisung resorted to using plan B in the case of an emergency in which something like this would occur, going to the hidden album in his photo gallery.

This is where he would keep all your intimate pictures and videos out of the public eyes. While one would think this is unnecessary, however, when you have nosy members like Minho and Changbin then you would see why the hidden album would be used. Chan taught him all about this after he accidentally saw the racy picture of you he constantly ogles, telling him ‘how he needs to keep things to himself before anyone else snatches it away from him,’ which is a fair pearl of wisdom coming from the eldest and leader—makes you think he might have learned the hard way. But enough about diction and get on with the rubbing.

In those hidden albums are a plethora of pictures and videos, and you were in almost all of them. They’d be pictures of you either in lingerie, costumes, or nothing at all in a compromising position, videos of you teasing and touching yourself, whether it’d be by fingers or toys, but by far his favorites are the ones he’s in. It may sound narcissistic, but Jisung enjoys the sight of you getting ruined by him, just the sight of you whimpering with your mouth opened and eyes shut just because of his cock makes his eyes roll in pleasure. He thought that it would be the perfect medium to use to relieve himself.

He scrolls through the many pictures and videos, squeezing his cock from time to time among the pretty pictures you would take that he stumbles on, he ultimately opened the sex tape of you two; it was taken on the day before he was supposed to be leaving for his tour, the last time he ever gets to feel you wrapped around him. He could already cum from the thumbnail of him standing on the side as if to adjust the camera while you looked at it with your adorable face pouting. He played the video, and already he started to take his cock out of its restraints and lowered his pants as he wrapped his hands around the shaft. In the video, he could see you looking at the camera before looking back at your boyfriend as he got closer to you and instantly began kissing you. You two were bare nude and it seemed as though you were fore playing before the main intercourse based on the way he’s holding onto your tits and how desperate you sounded, and just with that sight, Jisung slowly began bobbing his hand around his hard cock.

While Jisung would love to watch the whole video and relish every moment, he got time to kill and wouldn’t want Minho to make eye contact with his tip, so he ended up skipping forward to the real stuff. He had you on all fours, at that point your hair was disheveled, out of breath, and slightly flushed, presumably from the last orgasm he had given you prior. He starts aligning himself in you before going all in as you yelped out the most porn-equivalent moan out of your mouth, which made the watcher Jisung’s cock twitch at the sound. His hand began following the pace video-Jisung was going with, which was a gradual increase of speed, and the more he sped up, the more noises you were making.

While watcher-Jisung can see himself, his eyes were mainly drawn to you, your head getting thrown back with your eyes rolled shut while mewling out his name like a mantra and your breasts flail according to speed. Watcher-Jisung groaned your name as he speeds up his stroking, sensing his precum leaking, creating a makeshift lube for his hand and now slippery shaft. The sounds of the video and him were blaring across his hotel room, it wouldn’t be surprising if anyone from outside can faintly hear the sound that was happening in Jisung’s room, but at that point, he could care less. He misses you too damn much and how much he wishes this tour would fly back quick to have you in his arms.

He speeds up his movement once more upon hearing you beg to come all over and for him spill himself all over your inside. Jisung felt himself repeat what he said in the video as he was moaning due to the pleasure.

“That’s my good baby.”

And there he began squirting out cum from the head of his cock, white knots erupting out and coating his whole pelvic area, his hand clutching as to release it all out of him. He pants, just like the couple in the video, except the only difference is that Jisung in the video got to kiss you and praise you for how well you were doing for him, while he sighs and cleans himself up. He closed the app before he could lay down and go back to the position he previously was in; except this time, he began scrolling through whatever social media he opened.

As he blindly scrolls through his Twitter, he hears the door open and sees Minho walking in with a plastic bag in his hand.

“Aye, finally you’re done, I got us some dinner,” Minho said, setting down the bag.

Jisung furrowed his eyebrows at Minho’s word, “what?”

“I got us dinner?”

“no, before that.”

Minho had a sneering smile as he laughed, “you think no one heard you calling out (y/n)’s name?”

Jisung’s faced turned white as his biggest fear was coming true.

“What part?”

“Uhh…the part where you called her a good baby,”

“God dammit, Minho!”

#stray kids oneshot #stray kids imagines #stray kids fics #stray kids fanfic #stray kid smut #stray kids hard thoughts #stray kids hard hours #skz smut #skz one shot #skz oneshots #skz fanfic #skz fics #skz hard hours #skz hard thoughts #skz imagines #han jisung imagines #han imagines #han smut #han fanfic #han oneshot #han hard thoughts #han hard hours #han jisung hard thoughts #han jisung hard hours #han jisung x reader #han jisung drabbles #han jisung x y/n #han jisung fanfic

[arcadekitten]

hi ak!!! considering its cms anniversary i just wanted to wholeheartedly thank you for making and publishing it!!! ive only been into your games for a few months now i think but they genuinely changed something in my brain chemistry (/hj) and now i think about it constantly bc it just makes me so so happy!!!

the way you present stories and characters is honestly so incredibly amazing!! no matter what a game is about it pulls me in entirely every single time, even if im replaying it for the fifth time! you genuinely have a wonderful talent!!! i dont have the words to describe just how intricate everything is, especially psychologically, but god!!!! its all so good!!!! (its honestly a whole other thing to get into, but the mareggie layers in particular are everything to me, along with twyla and novas dynamic.. aughhhhh)

i mean it when i say ive fallen head over heels for most of your characters!!! each and every one of them is so unique and all of their designs are so gorgeous!!! as an autist myself im especially happy to see characters like mary and capella given important roles in a story!!!!

im using a LOT of exclamation marks but i just cannot contain my excitement when im talking about noisrev!!! i love drawing your characters and theorizing and whatnot!!! this became a bit longer than i thought itd be so. yes! thank you! from the bottom of my heart!!! youre changing lives and bringing so much happiness to others!!! ❤️

Cool I'm gonna go cry about this now!! (positive!)

No but for real like, I can't just get a sweet message like this and return it with nothing! Reading stuff like this feels like you reached through the screen, through my chest, and hugged my heart directly and it just makes me really emotional and happy.

Putting your art into the world is always really scary. Any time I release any project, I've always got such a tightness in my chest! Even when I know I am happy with what I made, I still hope that the people who have come to know my work are not disappointed with what I'm putting out. It's hard not to be at least a little worried! But time and time again I am told that the art I made is loved, and that feeling is the whole world to me!

When I receive messages like this (and no, you don't have to feel pressured to send me anything like this!) it really warms my heart. When I think about the games I make being someone's favorite, the characters I make being someone's favorites, I mean hell even just having them like it a lot! it really brings a tear to my eye if I think about it for too long.

I think about all the ways my favorite media pulled me out of dark places when I was younger and still do now, and I'm happy if I can impart that feeling onto others.

Thank YOU all for playing the games, engaging in them, and just being generally interested! Thank you for making me feel like my art is worth something to people who aren't me, for granting me the opportunities to keep making art, and for allowing me to experience a human connection I haven't been able to replicate in any way other than from sharing my art. Thank you for making me feel as though I made a good decision in making games.

I hope I can always make art and games you'll enjoy, and I mean that more and more every time I say it! Thank you for sticking around to see them ♡

#reply

[leighlew3]

Leigh, I'm so sorry to burden you with this, but I've followed you for a few years and witnessed how supportive you've been with SuperCorp fans and the shared disappointment with how the show ended, so I feel safe writing to you.

All the WLW shows getting cancelled fucking sucks. And it hurts. Not because I've necessarily been a big fan of them all, but simply because my voice and story, as a consumer and queer woman, doesn't feel valued.

When I heard Netflix cancelled Warrior Nun, I got angry, and I've been so ever since. It somehow hit different this time, and the cancellation doesn't make sense to me. I've loved the show since its first day on Netflix in 2020. I fell in love with the characters and the actors who portrayed them. I fell in love with the story they were telling and how it was told. Something about Warrior Nun just felt different to me.

Now it's almost 7 in the morning where I live, and I haven't been able to sleep. I was reading a Warrior Nun fic - as one does - and then all the feelings suddenly hit me. Angry turned into sad, and I feel sort of silly for admitting this, but I actually cried. I read somewhere that the brain can't differentiate real people from fictional ones, and I think I'm kind of mourning the loss of the characters 🤷🏻‍♀️ I've never felt this way before and I honestly don't know what to do about it. The whole situation just sucks.

Do you have any advice on how the consumers can be heard by big companies like Netflix and how we can get them to actually value their WLW shows?

Again, I'm sorry to lay this on you, but I don't really have anyone to talk to about this, and I'm just sick and tired of the situation and needed to rant.

(I appreciate you and wish you and your loved ones a happy new year)

It's not a burden at all, I'm glad you feel this is a safe space. 💜

Everything you're saying is relatable and valid as heck. When a show means the world to you, especially if you're part of a marginalized group and taking hit after hit after hit no less... it can be exhausting, infuriating, demoralizing, and so many other complicated emotions when you lose that art that struck you so deeply, that you related to, and that you looked forward to more of to get you through life.

To be honest, I feel like for the most part, fans are doing as best they can as far as efforts to keep shows around. There really are no more tangible specific solutions for fans aside from what's being done, and that's what's frustrating. The endless rewatches, fans doing street team style spreading the word on their own (even spending a lot of money) to make up for lack of official marketing, getting influencers and press behind them, etc. It's actually a sad state of affairs that in recent years, LGBTQ fans have WORK, and FIGHT and PUSH and even PAY constantly to keep a wlw show on the air or to try to get someone to make a ship canon after queerbaiting, or to get more screen time or respectful exploration for a wlw pairing, or to make TPTB see how bad the bury your gays trope is (time and again and again), etc -- rather than just sit back and watch and enjoy.

Fans shouldn't have to work so hard for entertainment, and yet queer fans so often do. And even when people successfully give a show solid numbers, sometimes it's still not enough, and like WN, a well-reviewed, heavily watched series gets the axe anyway.

So it's not on the fans. It's on those at the top, at the end of the day.

Alas, if I had to make some kind of a suggestion... all I can think to say is on the macro, bigger picture level. And this will take some self reflection and increased empathy for some people (sadly a thing some may not be capable of). But... collectively, some people in fandom spaces (small portions, but loud ones) for wlw shows have got to try to stop the silly fanon vs canon wars, and gatekeeping, and jealousies, and creating unnecessary drama and toxicity. There really should be no rival fandoms in wlw spaces at all, unless a show has a fully wlw love triangle or something and people are Team Ship 1 vs Team Ship 2, lol, but even still -- it should be a 'fun' battle, not a toxic war that hurts real people, drives away viewership, etc.

If most people in queer fandoms stuck together, and respected each other's ships even if they don't ship it or watch the show, and generally were supportive of each other as fellow queer fans in their battles against cancellations, in demanding queerbait to be made canon, fighting the BYG trope, etc -- LGBTQ fandoms would have such a collective, expanded power behind these positive efforts. And either way, even if all efforts fail to save a show, etc, at the very least, it would help create a safer, healthier space for queer fans online.

And I know, asking toxic people to not be toxic seems futile, but some people simply need to be reminded that we're all in this together and working together is always going to be ideal when facing off against the real opposition: corporate bias / phobia in the media / industry space.

Ultimately, it's 100% on TPTB at the shows and networks/streamers/studios to do better -- at times creatively, and other times as far as marketing efforts. Sometimes both.

But in the meantime, as far as fandom spaces, some LGBTQ fans gotta try to learn to stick together as much as possible. While there will ALWAYS be toxicity in every fandom from all backgrounds, and fans cannot control each other, I am noticing that as time goes on, and as more wlw fandoms get hurt by networks and streamers, the more angry people are understandably getting, the more reactive and protective of their shows and ships people are getting, and the more then they lash out and try to gatekeep and attack their fellow queer fans and allies, which is... just not it. It's counter productive.

Point is... fans are doing all they can IMO as far as tangible efforts to save (or fix) certain shows. And the rest is on the creatives, the networks and streamers, etc. But in the meantime, at the very least, people shouldn't attack true allies who have proven their support, nor especially attack fellow queer fans who just want to see what a show or ship is about or make positive parallels to their other faves, etc as it could be extra viewers for the show that they're running off.

TLDR: Stay focused on the real problem: corporate media's bias / phobia. Fight them collectively, not each other.

#lgbtq #lgbtq representation #fandom #wlw #sapphic tv

[themetalvirus]

egghog sonic's inner conflict after ending up the sole flesh and blood eggman lackey is REALLY interesting to me.

also some hedgehog sibling talk

he knows his father doesn't love him, he knows eggman sees him as a tool for conquering the world and beyond. but he "believes" that's the highest honor one can aspire to - serving the empire with his entire body, mind, and soul, producing results and slowly reshaping the world into perfection.

i put "believes" in "scare quotes" because sonic, deep in his heart, fears his father and his power. he knows (after seeing how eggman treats his brothers after they leave) that if he dares defect or even say no to any of his demands, there is a very real chance eggman will kill him. he has a visceral, mortal fear of disappointing his dad.

so when eggman tells sonic to do something or other knowing full well it will put his life on the line, he is terrified, but any other option (in his mind) is even worse. he'll throw himself as hard as he can into whatever he's told to, because his chances of dying are the same either way. at least he's contributing to the good of the empire, he thinks.

sonic doesn't consciously think about his fear much at all. he has it completely tuned out, he doesn't want to think about it so he doesn't. he could be told to do something that had a 99% chance of him ending up dead and he would delude himself into believing it was the correct and only choice with little effort.

he acts all cocky and independent, he runs like the wind, he will say and do anything he wants... but what he wants is what eggman wants. and his Steadfast Heart(tm) makes it pretty much impossible for him to change.

he earnestly believes he is making a better world. he "doesn't care" that he's a tool being used. but the ache still runs deep. he doesn't know what it is, what the ache is. he's never experienced whatever it is, so he doesn't have the capacity to miss it. until he does.

essentially: sonic robotnik would do anything for eggman. but he doesn't want to die. the gaping hole in his heart only gets bigger.

--

tangentially related but istg i keep talking about how ~suuuper important and tragic~ it is that he loses his brothers but i never talk about their sibling relationship IT ANNOYS ME TOO I SWEAR BUT IDK HOW TO FUCKING ARTICULATE IT

because its just. they will kill god to protect each other. they spend so much time around each other that their sentences sync up all the time without even trying. their fights sometimes go so nuclear that they seriously damage entire wings of eggman's lair. they bite and wrestle each other over the last corn dog. they have movie nights and play chess with their robot dads. they play splitscreen mario kart. they drive each other crazy and hit each other for no reason and when one of them starts wiggling the rest of them join in without saying a word. they're brothers.

considering the rest of their lives are full of blowing things up and elaborate high-stakes plans and training and training and training and sparring and training and killing people... their bonds are the only fleeting intangible wisps of normalcy they have.

bumping each others' elbows when eggman says "you have twenty four hours" and trying not to giggle is some of the only levity they get. they're constantly kept busy, they're constantly nursing bruises, they're trying to please a father who's never satisfied, and sometimes they all just need to sing along to halestorm's bad romance cover at full volume while pretending screwdrivers are microphones.

sonic is also unintentionally keeping them all working as a group. whenever silver brings up legitimate concerns, he knows exactly how to simultaneously comfort and dismiss him so he stops taking everything so seriously and stops thinking critically.

he brings some much needed levity to shadow's darkness (instead of silver taking him too seriously or fussing). sonic also sparks shadow's fierce competitive spirit, which keeps him focused on eggman-related tasks in a neverending fight for attention instead of his miscellaneous illegal and questionable hobbies. (not all of them are illegal or seriously questionable, but like half of them are. will elaborate someday)

silver and shadow are especially close. ok remind me to elaborate on that part because i had to move my laptop to charge it and that COMPLETELY fucked up my whole deal so now the words have left the building. im so fucking mad rn i was so ready to infodump about this i was SO ready. IM SO MAD. FUCK. I WANNA TALK ABOUT THIS SO BAD BUT MY BRAIN IS REFUSING TO GIVE ME WORDS OR THE SPECIFIC SCENARIOS I NEED TO TALK ABT ITS JUST GIVING ME THEM STANDING NEXT TO EACH OTHER RAAAHHHGFGGGHGHGGHHGHGGH

anyway hope this is legible and not nonsense. brubbers.

#exoticbutterstxt #suspected ADD at it again with the suspected hyperfocus #the egghogs

[itsfuckinganne]

a better update

it is December 28, 2022 n my year has been a big learning lesson. a lot of it, most of it, really hurt.  I chose myself a lot this year and completed my year’s resolution which is to set boundaries. I honestly dont understand why I took this long to act upon the things I want 4 myself but im not surprised. im a very stubborn person and all I do is deflect by creating a different scenario in my brain. das why ive been in this continuous cycle of getting played by the game and I jus..let it happen. I craved things that were not ready 4 me and it made me realize how I keep repeating it LMAOOO but this year I broke some serious habits and reenforced the comfortability of my space. therapy helped a lot (shout out Tina Merced, you are a very kind woman. u are one of the only people who has figured me out..) and having a positive feedback ab my decisions and how I think helps me understand myself. it felt (past tense/explain later) really good to just focus on what I plan 2 do next year. last year I just really wanted to show up 4 everyone more so I ended up acting upon emotion rather than balancing it out w/ what’s realistic. *I forgot what word 2 use in the last sentence so I went on my phone to change the song and then I remembered. I'm listening 2 defibrillator by smino* 

anyways, yeah this year I showed up for myself even if it hurt a lot to let go and I feel a lil lighter. im guilty of a lot, especially how present I am in my rlsps, and I am still for a bit more, but im doing better and those close 2 me see it. I said this all in past tense because Im a lil hurt right now, but it's just an owie. I allowed myself 2 give someone a benefit of the doubt and I feel as if they abused it a little. I know when I reread this in the future 2 reflect, I'll know exactly what im talking about. rather than feeling sad, im SO disappointed. i was feeling a lil better and I thought that would be okay, but I shouldn't disregard my accomplishments cus they're worthy of celebrating. allowing myself to forgive but just being proven right is horrible. it was a real wake up call to continue my self love journey cus I was getting some where and it was somewhere good. my best friend told me that “I know youre a good person and you do too so u dont have to give people multiple chances to prove that” and it struck hard (but 4 the better). I appreciate the transparency that I have w/ my friendships cus w/o it, I probably wouldn't b able to keep myself accountable, but I have been recently and thats why 2023 is going to be a good year. I wonder what karmic situations im going 2 be in. im not anticipating bad, but I can handle some lessons. im allowing myself 2 learn and thats my true end goal. at the end of the day, im just figuring it out. I dont think im doing that bad, but some reassurance would b amazing. I know I am worthy of everything I desire. to have, to feel, to experience. Im going 2 move forward so I can live better 4 myself. by doing that, taking this time, I can show up better. I want 2 do better, b better, all the things ive imagined myself to b. I cant believe I spent so much time settling 4 what I have cus Im constantly validated. the issues r real. I need 2 tell Tina ab this bcuz it makes so much sense. people pleasing cus nothing I ever did pleased my dad. that shit hurtsss, not gonna lie. but thats what I mean, im learning more and applying what I have 2 in my life and its working. by realizing that the pattern exists bcuz I dont rly speak or ever knew that was an issue. it hurts a bit 2 realize that someone who was a part of my life is now booted out of the next year. in pain bcuz I sat through conversations of him telling me how much he loves me, and how I cld b his polly pocket so he could take me everywhere, and how his family loves me, and all these other things and he STILL ran w/ what he wanted. honesty is the best policy and this lil set up pushed me to let go and let live. I wish I cld cry more, im purging the fuck outta this because I cannot let it repeat anymore. I also learned that some people only last so long in your life bcuz of how you coexist together. cutting ties w/ ppl you used to b family with takes a piece of you that dissipates like the rlsps thats gone. sounds dramatic, but that breakup was horrible. also, my dating life was quite the shit show. had my hinge phase, coworkers phase, toxic situation ship (two of those..at the same time but in my defense I was nvr asked 2 b a gf.), & my celibate phase. I nvr intended 2 dissect but it was rough 4 everyone I know and myself. im blessed enough 2 be surrounded by people who want whats best 4 me cus the goal is something we all agree on. 2022 you helped me show up 4 myself better. 2023 were going 2 show up better for ourselves and those around us. ive realized so much (1:11am , im sry in advance) & Ima share w/ some privacy of course. high school situationships r finally cut and I jus cant believe it but im happy 4 everyone whos living in love. realizing im the problem , speaks for itself. im officially tired. thats an update 4 ya

my fit 2day

goodnight

happy new year

[waughtthefox]

All I ever wanted if I ever got to be with you was to be the Hero and Master you always made me believe I was. To be the absolute best man that you ever knew. To have your absolute faith in me feel rewarded.

In so many ways, what we have now is more than we've ever had and more than we dared even hope could be a reality let alone on the kind of timescales that its all happened and yet.

Instead of hearing you tell me how absolutely happy you are with everything you've gotten with me and how far we've come. Instead of any celebration whatsoever of the success we have had or how hard either of us has worked to get here...

We fight. You tell me all the time you're seriously thinking about things that will make you NOT WANT TO BE WITH ME. After the Decade of fight... After everything you went through for ten years. The fact you can ever even say to me that you are thinking of not being with me is Frankly such a major blow that I am still not recovered from it.

I have to live in a reality now where I've been such a disappointment to you that you constantly feel like you might not want to be with me.

Every single night I am haunted by the way you used to say you'd do anything to just be my friend. You would be grateful forever to just be able to talk to me whenever you wanted. That if you ever got to call me yours you would NEVER LEAVE ME for any reason Whatsoever. That you love me always and forever and you'll never make me feel undesirable.

And yet I do feel undesirable. Now I have to consider all the ways in which you will leave me. Now I have to be careful of what I say or You'll yell at me. Now I have to beg you to answer the phone when I'm calling you in tears. Now I have to deal with the fact that you can actively decide you want to ignore me.

It turns my stomache.

I used to think I was some kind of wonderful treasure that you valued more than your own life. I used to think I made everything better and you wanted to be with me by my side through anything. I used to think you wanted to protect me and help me be better.

Now I have to live with the fact that I'm overwhelming and you don't even want to talk to me sometimes. That whether

You say it or not out loud anymore I see in your eyes that sometimes you don't even fucking like me. Now I know for a fact that I cause you so many problems that you're really thinking you would be better off without me.

I went from untouchable hero you used to beg to come save you and you would be so grateful to be able to talk to....

...to an easily ignorable cry baby you don't trust with your issues and might not even want in your life.

I am struggling with Accepting this as any kind of reality. I am struggling with feeling like I should even try to fix it. If I failed this badly I never deserved you. I am struggling feeling like I never deserved to be in your life and that I was better off as some impossible dream you held onto but believed in  rather than....

.....being.... This big of a problem. Rather than crushing your hope this badly. Rather than making you lose faith in what you believed in. Rather than ruining your entire life by being.... Just some guy with problems and not....

The hero and Master you made me feel like I was to you.

I never thought that any of this could ever happen and it's happening right in front of me.

I never thought that after all this work you could ever think that what we had for the  last 10 years was better than what we have now.

I never thought you'd ever willingly choose a life without me.

And I can't even blame you. That's the worst part of all of this. I really do not blame you for thinking about it. For considering it.

I fucking hate myself so much and if I could escape me I would seriously think about it too.

*swallows and just looks down* anyways I don't know why I wrote this. It's just something that I feel all the time. Maybe I thought my feelings should be heard.  I don't know. I don't even know if or when I'll send this.

All I know is it hurts so badly right now that I had to write it down. I had to feel like even if I never send this message I still told you.  I had to feel like if I write it down there is a very small chance that you will see it. That you'll hear me. That you'll see this hurt too.

That you'll listen.

*rocks quietly* I'm talking to nothing pretending it's you listening so that I feel like maybe just maybe the thoughts will quiet down enough that I can hear you. That I can support you.

That I can take care of you. That instead of hurt you can feel the love in my arms. That instead of pain you see that I need you in my eyes.

I'm writing Into a void you may never look into just so I can try to face the reality that I hate that I find ourselves in because I don't know how to escape.

Not from the bad reality.

Not from my pain.

Not... From myself....

I found a Void to post this to. Now I don't have to interrupt you or send a shit message and if you ever Do find it.... Well. Now you can talk to me when you're ready and not be forced to address it now when you're overwhelmed by other shit...

Atra Liono, R'athniere.

[houseaeducan]

what do the family dynamics of your hawkes look like and how are they different or similar? (inspired by the ask meme sibling question!!)

Omg thank you for this question. Much to unpack with these guys in all directions. Not sure where to start so I'll go hawke by hawke i guess (this post got so long so I'm putting it beneath the cut lol)

Caleb - GOD OKAY. caleb is my canon hawke so i have the most thoughts about him so this is about to be a mile long. caleb has a massive eldest daughter but a boy complex that primarily dates back to an incident as a child where he blames himself for his father almost being caught by the templars, but also only been reinforced over the years of trying to protect bethany and then stepping up as basically the head of the family after Malcolm died. i know Malcolm is supposed to have the same basic personality as hawke but my Malcolm in all worldstates except camillas (will get into that later) primarily has the blue/green personality and is like. a generally pretty upstanding guy who didn't want this life for his children but also knew there wasn't really any choice if he and his children were going to be free. he didnt want to raise his sweet eldest son to feel like he needed to be Protector of the Family but like. what else was he going to do. if Malcolm died or got captured by templars someone had to be ready for that. and as a result caleb has always kind of hero-worshipped his father and is constantly measuring himself against what he feels like Malcolm would have wanted him to do.

and that extends into caleb's messy relationship with carver, because if Malcolm saw caleb as his replacement, then caleb saw carver as his. and in a lot of ways it makes sense he expected the same from carver that he did from himself: they're both boys, both non-mages, both two-handed warriors, I even hc they both take after the hawke side of the family physically while beth takes after the amell side. but caleb expecting so much out of carver also makes carver resent him, and when carver tries to confide in him about how much he hates having their lives defined by magic, caleb takes it as like a personal betrayal against the family and doesn't want to engage with it. (also the girl carver had a crush on had a crush on caleb which was so unfair and unbearable for poor carver). it's not like he's mean to carver or anything, but he's definitely not understanding in the way he could be and this isn't something that hits until carver dies. which sucks and is something he's going to feel guilty about forever :/

he has the pretty typical hawke relationship with leandra i think. he wants his mom to like him and he knows she loves him but. its hard sometimes. leandra is hard to deal with and when she's disappointed in him it's another reflection of the way he feels like he's failing his father. and then BETHANY he loves bethany and by the end of things she's the only family he has left. after a lifetime of doing everything to protect her seeing her become a grey warden is honestly agonizing bc she's so miserable and there's nothing he can do about it but it gives bethany the space to work through her negative feelings about all she's been through and i ultimately think she comes out better for it

catherine - my og hawke :) i think her dynamic with Malcolm and leandra wasn't unlike calebs but just wayyyyy less intense bc catherine is simply less inclined to take things So Fucking Personally. from an early age she learned sometimes you have to stab some guys to protect your family and its fine. that's just how it is. i don't think she and carver were super close but they had a pretty classic older/younger sibling relationship. they loved each other and bickered and cat never took carver's shit too seriously bc he was her dumb kid brother. catherine was also really protective of beth tho and when she went to the circle and then liked it there she took it PERSONALLY. bethany is actually probably her most fucked up and strained relationship in her family and out of all her companions. she loves her sister she would do anything for her but she also feels unbelievably betrayed that bethany is happy in a place she worked so hard to protect her from. they work it out eventually but i genuinely don't think they're on speaking terms for like another 5-10 years post da2

cassian - cassian hawke love of my life is a huge sweetheart but is frankly pretty self absorbed at the beginning of his story and really just did Not internalize any of the family pressure my other hawkes did. he's a talented mage who took malcolm's instruction seriously and is very nice to his mom and so managed to get through his whole childhood with a very nice relationship with his parents. i think he and bethany had a pretty solid relationship but were never close despite being honestly very similar people in many ways. the carver relationship was TENSE bc carver was wildly jealous of cassian (cassian is nice in a way that makes everyone like him, he's better looking so the girls all had crushes on him, he was always in good shape despite not needing to be as a mage, he got more attention from their father because he was mage, he was even just naturally good at magic and Malcolm was always commenting on it) and cassian just never really got why carver acted the way he did with him. their relationship does actually improve as its put through the test in kirkwall too (and as cassian gains more perspective on the world and has his arc) and they end the game friends

calliope - rebellious streak a mile wide. she never did blood magic while Malcolm was alive but she was always asking questions pushing the boundaries of what she was allowed to do and it worried the shit out of him. she was good though, and their relationship was overall positive, but he was always warning her about the consequences of going too far. i don't think leandra was as attuned to that honestly, and it wasn't something Malcolm ever brought up to her because he didn't want to worry her. calliope was always pushing back against leandra and challenging her when she felt like she was wrong but at their core they both had a lot of love for each other. and cal LOVED bethany. would have and probably did kill for bethany. and bethany loved calliope a lot albeit in a "that's my crazy older sister” kind of way and was terrified when she realized she had started doing blood magic. that caused some fighting between them but honestly cal just never took bethany's objections particularly seriously. the carver relationship is more complicated bc they never got along and calliope was such a bitchy older sister to him. and carver knew EXACTLY what cal was even if he wouldn't say it. frankly cannot rlly blame him for joining the templars. there is still a lot of love there though, and as much as they might fight with each other they wouldn't hesitate to defend the other if they were in danger

camilla - PLAY DADDY LESSONS BY BEYONCE. so malcolm in this worldstate had the red personality just like his daughter and also had the same expectations for camilla that caleb internalized just. more intensely. my read of Malcolm (in all world states) is that despite being an apostate he still has a very conventional circle educated philosophy of magic and (in this worldstate) i think impressed hard on bethany, as well as carver and cam, the importance of highly disciplined magic, the importance of being an exceptional mage who didn't make mistakes lest the results be dire). this translated into cam being pretty brutal when it came to protecting her family but also having a very critical outlook on mages despite coming from a family of apostates. she loved and admired her father for being a strong, disciplined man, and also hated him sometimes too for condemning them to a life on the run. she wanted her mother to love her soooo bad and I'm sure she did but leandra just never responded to her intense, easily angered daughter as well as she did to sweet little bethany. cam got along with both her siblings like. fine. growing up. they fought sometimes, they played sometimes, she wasn't particularly close with either as teens. carver's death is hard on her, but not like leandra's is years later. she finally gets the validation she always wanted from her mother at the moment of her death and its AWFUL. it sends her down a spiral -- leandra was killed by blood mages, who camilla has always hated, and of course she finds orsino's note in quentin's lair. the circle is complicit in blood magic, probably all the mages around her are as well. they all as good as killed her mother. she and bethany almost patch things up in the legacy quest, but when orsino uses blood magic in the final battle, camilla is certain that bethany is a blood mage too and has betrayed their mother, betrayed their father, betrayed her too and lets Meredith kill her. yoinks

#THANK YOU FOR THE ASK SORRY THIS IS SO LONG #caleb hawke #catherine hawke #cassian hawke #calliope hawke #camilla hawke

[myrfing]

Yeah! In the end WoLs are very personal to the players so I try to remember and not to be too judgey about it! And yeah there are some WoLs I really love as well! And my own was originally just a vague self insert with the name of an old OC and then they took a life of their own so I renamed them .. xD

Regarding wishing there was more freedom in choices in 14: I think that as an MMO there are just some limitations people just have to accept. The msq is linear for sure though I don't know if that's just because 1) it's Final Fantasy first and foremost, 2) it's a jrpg first and foremost (different game design philosophy between JP and US?) You certainly can't have multiple outcomes, I think, especially not with 14's infamous spaghetti coding. And the team already have so many tasks... (reason why I'm just rolling with the gender unlocking of certain glams being slow)

Though, I've never played an MMO prior to this, and most western RPGs don't interest me. So my lack of frame of reference is probably another reason why I can't really fathom choice freedom similar to, say, Dragon Age, in an MMO in general, esp not one as linear as 14 ... poyo.

(I could do with more fiddling around with GW2 tho, I do enjoy it whenever I boot it up for fun)

HAHAHA YOU AND I BOTH if it's. not obvious that "gourd appraiser" wasnt meant to be. well. youre so right suddenly theyre alive what can we do but give them the reins.

and for sure. I'm really mostly okay with xiv's linearity and rigidity; I think they wanted to tell a certain story and told it. I actually dunno if that's a western/eastern design philosophy and don't think choice/branching narratives is necessarily not a jrpg element but the concept of it with games like for sure DA or UT or even older text rpgs whatever have really popularized it here yeah. in xiv theres obviously some parts where im like He would naht do/say that. or some parts I wish weren't in the msq at all. but for the most part I'm glad things turned out the way they did and I've never struggled too hard to work with it. i think it'd sit wrong with me if the story went another way, if the wol like, just said I don't owe anyone anything and everyone shouldnt ask a thing of me and ran forever.

but that's mostly because I fell hook line and sinker for the world so when anyone in the story is like do you want to keep going and keep this world alive I'm like of fucking course AND it's going to be fun you don't even need to ASK bro. while for others I do understand the sort of disappointment that comes with thinking this could have gone another way that they would have liked better, but the devs chose this way, so they feel like they were robbed of that different outcome. and to me they chose this one because they wanted to tell a story about caring about others and finding hope in others and struggling together towards a better future in a world that is largely hostile to that, that constantly gravitates towards its doom, and I really like that. I like how it reflects in their own dev experience having to reboot the game too! but some people feels like it rings hollow, or they don't really care for that sort of thing, or this spirit just doesnt reach them, and well...wat can you do.

and you're definitely right in that mmos simply cant handle diversity of choice in a game meant to support..well..massively multiplayer online play. at most you get factions which are notoriously clunky and seem to only function in games without a strong central narrative. if 50% of the playerbase said fuck off to minfilia, fuck off hydaelyn, you can't tell me what to do, and went to live a low-stakes life then. that's 50% of the playerbase that needs something other than all the dungeons, trials, deliveries, sidequests, raids, pretty much fucking everything to do, that aren't gonna be a part of the roulette. and they wouldn't have been able to pull off the concept of azem's magic either, the weird living idea that as players of the same character you all walk the same path and thus are always at each other's side. or the funnier route would be well everyone who wanted to play gets the kino ass "shepherd to the stars in the dark" shit and everyone who didnt to play can just sit on their hands I guess.

but i dont think people actually expect it to have branching paths, they just wanted the devs to choose a different one. but there's so many good and fun things throughout the entirety of the game that it'd honestly feel pretty lonely to lose all of this over a nebulous refusal to owe anyone anything and be owed anything, because the wol does go through some painful stuff and has some high expectations placed on them...AS IFFFF everyone in the story doesnt suffer and struggle against the same things while the wol has the privilege of controlling more of their luck, AS IFFFFFFFFFF choosing a path where you say fuck everyone else wouldn't have been empty and boring. as if the antagonists that apparently care about us more don't have wishes and goals and duties and lives of their own and are only made to love you in some made up but easier, purer, assured way.

and oh hee hee gw2...I saw a golden chicken in that game and logged off forever I was like this is it. but I'm playing gw1 (slowly) with friends and while it's still campaigns it definitely does excel in that look at this big ass world go do what you want thing. and yeah mmos are fucking...expensive and terribly difficult to make and keep alive. there's a reason they're just dying out

#whenever people say they wished we could have sided with the ascians and brought on the total rejoining i think like... #what exactly remains in the wake of that decision that could be remotely worth it #some eternal sunshine of the spotless mind shit #new york walking dmv simulator #the game uninstalls and installs spore on your pc maybe

[bbina]

between the lines ★ afternoon bliss

⤷ from what started as a simple arrangement to hide your feelings for a certain someone by getting into in a fake relationship soon turns into a tangled mess. in which some things are hard to tell when you can’t read between the lines

 ˗ˏˋ prev | next  ˎˊ˗

★ warnings .ᐟ explicit content ahead! wc. 5.3k. nothing too rowdy just read to find out and enjoy <3 p.s go easy on me its my first time writing something like this....

★ notes .ᐟ HELLO.. WE HAVE ARRIVED AT OUR DESTINATION. we have waited for this moment since this fic started getting numbers. i hope you enjoy the fruits of my labor and this is dedicated to everyone who waited for this very moment.. all i can say is enjoy! :]

“what’s with the long face, y/n? aren’t you enjoying the view?” you hear shotaro ask. you were too engrossed looking at what seems to be wonbin’s new instagram story that you barely registered what he just said

“what?” you blurt, shutting off your phone before they could take a peek on what you were looking at

turns out it didn’t matter if you shut your phone off cause eunseok and sungchan would be the one to air out your business

“she’s disappointed wonbin isn’t coming” eunseok yells out, loud enough for everyone to hear. you let out a loud groan as you covered your face before running to give them another smack

“NO I WASN’T” you deny, running after eunseok who was laughing his ass off. the rest of the guys giggle at the scene in front of them. seems like shotaro’s initial plan was working although it was unfortunate that wonbin isn’t where you guys are currently at due to some errands

while you were pulling on eunseok’s shirt, trying to smack the living lights out of him, shotaro was busy typing on his phone, constantly asking wonbin if he’s coming only to be left on delivered

“do you think he’s coming?” anton asks out loud. with a smile, shotaro answers

“of course! it’s wonbin we’re talking about” 

anton shrugs after. walking over to sohee and seunghan who were taking turns to take pictures on the children’s playground

having enough of beating eunseok up (he was left unscathed by the way), you head towards a nearby bench to catch your breath. 

was it really too obvious on your face that you were a little disappointed? no, “little” is an understatement, you were definitely disappointed. you thought this was the perfect time to talk to each other as it was such a sunny day out. 

you start to think about if you said some things out of the ordinary the night before. you’re afraid that you said too much that it potentially scared wonbin away for good. you internally curse yourself for being such a dumbass and constantly making dumb decisions that you obviously regret later on. so much for living in the moment, right? 

have you told wonbin what you really felt last night? did you tell him that you finally realized that you like him? did you tell him that you regret every single thing that led up to your arrangement with him in the first place? did you-

your thoughts were cut short when you felt someone tower over you

“you’re gonna get wrinkles if you keep scrunching your face like that” 

your eyes widened. you know that voice anywhere. you look up to see it was the boy you’ve been thinking about. the boy who’s been living inside your mind for months now. the boy you’ve been yearning for

it was wonbin

wonbin smiles when you two make eye contact. he was about to say something til someone calls his name from the distance

“WONBIN-AH!” shotaro yells, jumping in joy when his friend actually pulled through like he said he would try to.

wonbin excuses himself before walking over to the rest of the guys who again, crowd him like it was the first time they saw him

“you came.. you really came!” sohee chants, totally not expecting him to actually catch up with you guys at the park. 

wonbin laughs and shoos them away. “i came as soon as i finished my errands. i didn’t even get to drop them off at home. they’re just in the car cause seems like you guys were having too much fun without me” he jokes. which was half true in his defense. he did leave the things his parents asked him to get in the back of his car and yeah obviously he’s feeling a little fomo again but the real reason why he hurried his errands to get to where you guys were at was because of you

it’s always because of you

if you asked him to drop his errands to hang out with you guys today, he probably would’ve

but you didn’t.

“wait, where’s y/n?” eunseok asks, doing a headcount and notices that you were missing. wonbin throws his thumb back at you back at the bench, sitting quietly watching them

watching the scene unfold him and taking everything to account, sungchan suddenly gets an idea

“wonbin, why don’t you drop off the things you bought at your house then come back to us? so you could drive us around and show us around town more?” sungchan proposes. the guys all eye him weirdly. why would sungchan suddenly say that?

eunseok suddenly remembers you talking about how you have to go back to wonbin’s house somehow cause you left your clothes after panicking that you realized where you were

“you can take y/n with you too since she forgot something at your place” eunseok adds, his elbow resting on sungchan’s shoulder as they look at wonbin with an expression wonbin can’t read

what are they trying to do?

the rest of the guys just made confused sounds. until shotaro clasps his hands together, piecing everything together. 

“that’s right! that was the plan if you would catch up with us and luckily you did.” shotaro chimes in, saving eunseok and sungchan’s asses

sohee, seunghan and anton can only glance at each other in confusion. what was going on?

“then can i come? i want to see wonbin hyung’s hou-” sohee chirps only for his mouth to be covered by shotaro. whispering he can’t cause they’re trying to get you and wonbin some alone time

and seunghan and anton finally get it

wonbin only raises an eyebrow at their odd behavior. although he had a feeling on what they were doing with just one look from shotaro that basically screams, “talk to each other”

with a shrug, wonbin puts his hands up in mock surrender. 

“fine, i’ll come back for you guys” wonbin says flatly. although on the inside he was lowkey panicking. he wasn’t prepared for this today. hell, you guys in ulsan was the last thing on his 2024 bucket list. 

“great! now let me call my sister. y/n! come here!” eunseok yells out.

you were just mindlessly minding your business trying to think about the words you wanted to say to wonbin if ever you were given the chance to talk to him privately til you hear your brother calling for your name

you cock your head to the side as you mouth “what?”. not wanting to get up from the bench. you were still feeling like shit from your hangover but mostly because of wonbin

eunseok rolls his eyes and motions you to come over. standing on your ground you shake your head no. not wanting to participate in any plan making because all you wanted to do right now was rot in bed and think about your dumb mistakes

to your surprise (not) eunseok, sungchan walked over to you instead. 

“what now?” you breathe out, looking up at them with a tired expression on your face

“wonbin’s going home to drop off some stuff and you’re coming with him” sungchan says, eyeing wonbin on the side who was talking to shotaro

your eyes widened. why?

“aren’t you guys coming too?” you ask, there was no way in hell you’re gonna be stuck in the car with wonbin right now. you’re not ready for that yet

eunseok shakes his head no. “nope. we’re gonna wait here since after he’s done dropping off his stuff, he’s gonna come back to get us to show us around ulsan”

you raised an eyebrow at this. so if he’s only dropping something off, why are you coming with?

“didn’t you forget your clothes at his house?” sungchan suddenly brings up. 

oh yeah, you did forget your clothes, but why do you have to come all the way to get it yourself when wonbin was still gonna come back for you guys even if you didn’t go with him?

before you can say anything eunseok cuts you off by calling wonbin that you two should leave now since it was still pretty early

“wonbin! you guys can go now” eunseok says, pulling your arm as he drags you to where wonbin was at

“what? i didn’t agree yet-”

“see you guys later!” shotaro waves you off as he drags everyone out of the area, leaving you and wonbin alone

you feel a vein pop in your head as you start to put two and two together. those bitches.. they just wanted you alone with wonbin for reasons that are so painfully obvious. 

that’s when everything finally clicked. on why you all decided to head out to ulsan on such short notice

after a beat of silence, wonbin breaks the ice

“shall we go..?” he says quietly, not really knowing what to do. 

“y-yeah” you stammered, inwardly cringing at the awkward atmosphere. you aren’t used to this wonbin. the wonbin you were once with never made anything awkward whether you two were just in silence. you’re starting to hate yourself for the way things are now with him

the walk to wonbin’s car was painfully silent. it wasn’t even the comfortable silence that you’re used to. it was the type of silence that if you focused hard enough, you could hear both of your hearts beating

when you got to the car, a part of you for some reason expected that he’d open your side of the door like he usually does. you can only imagine the awkward tension when wonbin noticed that you were just standing by the passenger door, looking at him

“what’s wrong?” wonbin asks, looking around if there was anything that bothered you but there was nothing but cars. “are you not gonna get in?” he asks again, maybe a little too sassy for your liking. if you two still had something, maybe you would’ve yelled at him for being sassy with you but since you were in this weird ambiguous relationship? if you could even call it that, you just looked stupid for even expecting such gesture

“oh. right, sorry” you snap out of your thoughts and opened the car door, getting inside as you feel yourself turn red out of pure embarrassment 

wonbin blinks before getting in himself. he wordlessly starts the car and backs out and goes on his day with you in his passenger seat

and if that wasn’t bad enough, the car ride to his house was worse.

you were feeling a sense of deja vu all over again. you in the car with wonbin, driving through ulsan. something you two usually did back in seoul just to hang out and talk about whatever. 

the car ride dates were always your favorite. something about just sitting prettily on the passenger seat, being wonbin’s “passenger princess” as he likes to call you was just something so dear to the both of you

only for you to ruin everything

the car comes to a stop at a stoplight and usually at this point in the car ride, wonbin would play with your hands as you two wait for the lights to turn green. even probably take selfies or talk about your day and the such.

if you got food prior, you would be spoon feeding wonbin as he kept his eyes on the road. messily wiping sauces or ice cream off his lips, laughing at how clumsy he was for missing the food. 

or wonbin singing along to whatever that was playing on aux with his free hand resting on your thigh.

simply the simple joys of life.

now at a stoplight, wonbin strictly kept his eyes on the road. his right hand on the steering wheel, fingers lightly tapping the steering wheel as the other propped against the window, with his head leaned slightly against the glass.

you aren’t used to this.

the aux was even turned off and you’re forced to live in this uncomfortable silence.

there were times you wanted to break the silence and just talk to him right there but you can’t find the right opening as wonbin quite literally drove in silence. not a word uttered throughout the car ride til you two arrived at his house

finally arrived at the destination, wonbin turns off the car and gets out without another word. you bite your lip, thinking about how you just wasted the opportunity of a lifetime to talk things out with wonbin

“you can carry this inside since it’s probably the lightest one of the bunch” wonbin opens the trunk and hands you a paper bag filled with groceries, “i’ll get the rest inside. wait for me in the living room” with that, he leaves you in his garage as he puts some boxes of the things he bought inside

you followed his instructions and left the paper bag in the kitchen that was connected to the living room. now you were sitting quietly on the couch, taking a look around his house

there were picture frames all around the room. from family pictures to wonbin’s childhood photos that were framed on the wall. some certificates from winning track and field competitions and some trophies as well on the shelves. 

you feel yourself smile at the sight. how cute, you think to yourself.

you then see an old photo of wonbin when he was a baby just by the tv. you got up from the couch as you walk over to the tv and inspected the frame. it was a baby picture of him on a stroller looking all confused. he looked so cute, you wanted to tell him how cute he was but given your situation with him, you guessed you’ll just keep it to yourself for now or forever

“your clothes are here” wonbin speaks up from behind. you yelped as you almost drop the frame you were holding. you apologized as you put back the frame where you found it before walking over to wonbin who was holding a paper bag which held your clothes

“thanks..” you say quietly, taking the paper bag from his hands. you swore you felt electricity when you accidentally brushed hands with his. 

wonbin purses his lips and nods. not really knowing what else to say. now that you two are alone, what was there to say?

he was about to walk back to his room to mentally prepare himself because he knows damn well that he will break if he were to talk to you first without a proper plan in his head. he can’t handle confrontations and serious talks

his hand was already at his door knob when you spoke first

“i’m sorry”

wonbin freezes in his spot. hand stuck on the door knob as you apologize. he then starts to have an inner debate with himself if he should listen to you first and speak his mind later as but at the same time, he’s contemplating if he should say something first. for one it could go well and that everything was all a misunderstanding and that you were once again sorry for dragging him into this mess and the or that you and sungchan were finally together and you’re here to say that in front of his face.

although he knows it’s most likely the latter, that didn’t stop him from feeling hurt by the whole situation again. after days of isolating himself in the comfort of his own home, he’s come to terms that you were never actually gonna choose him. though the pain still lingers and is still evident in wonbin’s heart, he was slowly finding ways to cope and move forward. the last thing he expected was to you to actually show up in front of his face and ask for his forgiveness because he knows damn well that no matter how he tries to convince himself to hate you, to resent you, to cut ties with you, he couldn’t bring it within himself to do it. because to him, it’s always gonna be you. he knows that no matter how you hurt him, he will always come running back to you.

he knows deep within himself that he will always let you in

“i never meant to hurt you like this.” you start, fiddling with your fingers. you hear wonbin scoff but you ignore it “you deserved better than that and i’m sorry.”

wonbin resisted the urge to roll his eyes right then and there, his grip on his door knob tightens.  of course he knows he deserves better than that. who in the right mind would let themselves be used as a cover up to one’s feelings? that’s right, him.

“maybe i don't deserve your forgiveness but i just want to clear everything” you continue, trying to rack up the right words to say to the boy hurting in front of you

“i actually confessed to sungchan that day. i was tired of the act and it wasn’t fair for him to be in the shadows much longer. i’ve come clean to sungchan and told him my true feelings for him”

there you have it. that was all wonbin needed to hear to stop listening. he was already beating himself up for even letting you in. how stupid he was again to break the walls he desperately built for himself only for you to drop the bomb on him like it was nothing

“don't say another word.” wonbin says, having enough of what you were trying to say. finally turning around to look at you in the face. “if that’s all, then wait for a moment as i start the car” he says coldly, his chest hurting at the confession. he shakes his head at how stupid he was for believing in shotaro that everything could still be salvaged. 

“wait, i’m not finished–”

wonbin closes his eyes for a second before taking a step towards you

“do you know how hard i tried to forget everything that happened? huh? do you know how many nights i’ve spent crying myself to sleep wondering why i couldn’t be enough for you? i literally wiped your tears away every single time you saw him doing the things you wanted to do with him with somebody else. i gave you everything i had even if in the end what we had was all fake. do you want to know why? it’s because i fucking like you, y/n” wonbin confesses, his chest rising as he finally lets go of everything

“i like you so much that i let you use me even if i knew it was just a temporary fix for you and your broken heart” he takes another step closer towards you, “so much that i tell myself everyday for the past few months of us “dating” that even if what we had was just temporary, seeing you smile and happy was enough for me”

your mouth opens in shock as you stand still, digesting everything he was saying. he takes another step closer to you,

“so please, for the love of god, let me move on from you, from us in peace. if you’re finally with sungchan then so be it. if it meant that you’re finally happy even if it wasn’t with me, then great. i’m happy for you” he tearfully says, eyes directly boring into your soul

without another thought, you crashed your lips against his. shocking not only yourself but wonbin too. after a few seconds, you pull away

“maybe if you let me finish with what i was trying to say then you could’ve heard what i was trying to say next” you muttered as wonbin stands there stunned with what you just did. his fingers ghosting over his lips

“i never should have done what i did. i know that now but after being around you and being in this “relationship” for a few months, the feeling was just different from what i thought i had with sungchan. sungchan made me feel giddy, the familiarity of being around him for a long time just made sense at the time but when it came to you, it was different” your words were beginning to jumble up

“when i was with you, i felt a sense of security? i don’t even know how to describe it.. i felt things i never felt before. the longer we were together, everything was starting to make sense. you make me feel things, park wonbin. things that i, myself don’t even understand and that scared me” you continue, eyebrows scrunched up as you recall the days you shared with wonbin

“i started to ignore you in hopes this weird feeling in my stomach goes away. i stopped replying, i stopped hanging out with you, i stopped because i was scared. i was scared that if i fall, you wouldn’t be there to catch me anymore”

you look down, starting to accept reality again. maybe it was really over for you and wonbin. you sigh as you shake your head, “i don’t deserve you, wonbin. after everything that went down, i think this may be it for you and me”

wonbin slowly but surely takes in your confession. he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. you’ve been running away from your feelings that you fail to notice that you were hurting him. although it does give him a slight ray hope that maybe there really was something stored for the two of you

seeing that wonbin was just silent, you take his silence as your answer. with a sigh, you walk passed him to head over to the car where he’ll take you back to the guys but wonbin grabs your hand and crashes his lips against yours. he was kissing you like there was no tomorrow with the way he cups your face so tightly, afraid that if he were to let go, he was letting you go and he wasn’t gonna make that same mistake twice

you barely notice that you were crying when you feel your cheeks start to get wet. you kiss wonbin back with the same amount of force like it was the last day on earth. this finally feels right for the both of you

wonbin pulls away to catch his breath, leaning in that your foreheads are touching after confessing your hearts out to one another

wiping your stray tears, “that was all i needed to hear” he mumbles before closing his eyes, relishing in the moment.

“i really like you, wonbin” you say tearfully, “but i think i don’t deserve you” you sniffle, hiding your face away from him. wonbin shakes his head no, tipping your chin to force you to look at him. he was also crying

“you know in my eyes, it’s always gonna be you right?” wonbin says, capturing your lips again. “i’ll prove it to you. that it will and always will be, you” wonbin breathes out, pulling away as he rests his forehead against yours. 

wonbin kisses you again, this time more feverishly. in the heat of the moment, you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer as you kiss back. you two begin to make out in the middle of his living room

he guides you to the couch where he lays on top. not breaking the kiss, he removes the leather jacket he was wearing before he moves his lips to your neck. you let out a soft whimper when he starts sucking on the spot just below the shell of your ear.

wonbin starts to leave marks all over your neck up to your exposed chest. without another word, he takes off your shirt and throws it somewhere on the floor. you gasp at his boldness as he continues to put in the work

“this needs to go too” you say as you tug on his shirt and with a smirk, he removes his shirt exposing his bare chest. you lay there, wide eyed at the sight. he laughs at your reaction before he goes back for your lips.

you wrap your legs around his torso as your kisses start to get deeper the more you continue. wonbin’s free hand starts to fondle with your breasts. you moan in his mouth in pleasure, feeling your body fire up. you take the liberty to unclasp your bra, freeing your breasts which makes wonbin hum in contentment

wonbin wastes no time in sucking your now exposed nipples. your hands flying to his hair, back arched as you take in the pleasure he was giving you. you feel something poke your thigh. you let out a laugh at how excited he was getting

wonbin secures your legs around him as he hoists you up, picking you up off the couch to head to his bedroom. he sets you down on his bed as he continues his previous actions. wonbin skillfully unzips your zipper and removes your pants in no time, exposing you in your underwear.

“pretty” he coos before going back on attacking your lips. with his free hand, he feels every surface of your skin, to your sides, to your thighs, everything.

with one hand, you tug on the waistband of his pants. he instantly frees himself of his pants, leaving himself in his boxers.

this sight of wonbin was heavenly. his toned body that he hides under his clothes, you were truly mesmerized by his beauty. wonbin watches you stare at him, grabbing your hand and guiding it through his chest, to his torso and finally to the bulging tent on his boxers

you let out a small laugh at his obvious request. you start to palm him through his boxers and he grunts in response, just your touch sending shivers down his spine. but wonbin decides that this was going to be all about you. he was just about to prove to you how much you really mean to him

with the way your legs were spread out, wonbin slides his arm down near your core. he skillfully moves your panties to the side as he slowly slides a finger across your folds. 

“w-wonbin” you moan, relishing in pleasure. the way he was delicately fingering you is sending you to euphoria. you hear your cunt squelch with how wet he was making you. wonbin decides to take it further by using his thumb to draw small circles on your clit

you were basically clenching around wonbin’s fingers inside you. he takes it as a sign that you were nearing your orgasm. he stops his miniature actions causing you to whine and spew out incoherent words

“b-bin i need you…” tears pricking your eyes as you whined when he halts his actions

it was a good thing that wonbin kept a box of condoms in his room. not like he was getting any action after being in a fake relationship with you, his main reasoning with why he keeps them around is that you never know when you’ll need it and that time is now

he grabs a foil packet by his bedside table as he removes his boxers exposing his cock. you lay in bed watching him in all his glory, taking in the godly sight. wonbin was beautiful

wonbin returns to his previous position and aligns his cock with your entrance. you bit your lip, watching him focus with what he was doing, eager to take him all in. you were ready for this, you were ready for him

but before he does, he looks at you with that damned wide eyes of his

“are you sure?” he asks, making sure he wasn’t making you uncomfortable or anything. the last thing he wanted was for you to regret it later on, he wanted you to be sure you wanted this, sure that you wanted him

you reach up to cup his cheek before nodding your head yes. “i want this… i want you..” you say slowly. wonbin feels his heart swell at the sight. how he longed for this moment. the moment where you finally choose him. the moment it’s you and him. he carefully slips his cock inside of you. you both loudly moan in pleasure as he enters you.

wonbin brushes the hair that was all over your face, talking you out of it. praising you endlessly for taking him in so well despite not bottoming out yet

“that’s it baby, take it in nice and slow” wonbin peppers kisses all over your face.

“bin- slow down..” you cry out, feeling tears prick your eyes. just earlier you were crying over something else

“you’re doing so well, baby. keep it up” wonbin continues, slowly pushing deeper, just enough for you to adjust

when wonbin finally bottoms out, you hear him groan. feeling your walls fluttering

“easy there, baby, we just started” he grits his teeth, feeling your pussy already clenching around his cock

once you adjusted to him, wonbin wastes no time thrusting in and out of you. watching his cock slip in and out of you so easily. wonbin’s eyes roll back in pleasure. he feels like he’s on cloud nine. just the plain thought and sight of having you all to himself just sends him in an overdrive.

while he was doing his thing, you suddenly cup his face. he stops his actions and looks at you with wide eyes. did he do something wrong? did you want to stop? what’s the matter?

“i’m yours, wonbin” you whispered, kissing him on the lips

it takes wonbin a minute to process what you just said. did you just say what he thought you said? he wasn’t dreaming was he? this isn’t just some sick joke, heat of the moment type thing? 

“you’re mine?” wonbin repeats, slowly bucking his hips. you nod your head vigorously obviously wanting more.

“yours wonbin, all yours” you whined, pulling his head as you desperately kiss him on the lips. moaning in his mouth as he holds your hips in a slightly different angle 

hearing you make pretty noises for him was enough for him to be sent over the edge. he moans into your mouth as he continues to thrust in and out of you. eating in your moans as he speeds up his pace.

“so tight, baby, you feel so fucking good” he hisses in your ear. your eyes flutter close in pure bliss. just a while ago you two were pouring your feelings out and now you were under him

with one final thrust, wonbin groans loudly as he orgasms. he pulls out of you, removing the now used condom before throwing it at his trashcan before he crashes down next to you, breathing heavily

wonbin looks up at his glow in the dark stars filled ceiling, in disbelief with what just happened between the two of you. he turns to take a good look at you to see you staring right back at him with the same expression.

you scoot closer to him, wonbin instantly wraps his arms around your body. “that was amazing..” you breathe out, out of breath from the previous activity. wonbin blushes and nuzzles his face on your neck, suddenly feeling embarrassed by his actions. the post nut clarity getting to him

“why are you hiding from me after what we just did?” you laughed at his cute reaction. wonbin whines as he tells you to shut up, explaining that he didn’t know what took over him just a few moments ago

“but i do mean what i said though, from now on, i’m yours bin” you kissed his cheek. wonbin turns to face you. your face inches away from his. he smiles at the sight and kisses your nose. “you better be”

you giggle, closing your eyes, feeling tired from your little activity.

“can i stay over?”

“you don’t have to ask”

what an afternoon bliss…

★ taglist .ᐟ @callanton @annswwa @renjuneoo @pinkraindropsfell @lecheugo @ilovejungwonandhaechan @ahnneyong @haechansbbg @snowyseungs @sseastar-main @odxrilove @leeknowarchives @onlywonb @wonychu @leehanascent @jaeyunsb @au-ghosttype @revehosh @keilovr @kyusqult @dreamyyyz @ether-yeol @yangasm @qwonbani @starwonb1n @ffixtionista @daegale @scrumptiousloser @seunghancore @marksluvs @wonbinfiles @ohmykwonsoonyoung @reenfluffmarshmallow @bunni @artstaeh @yizhoutv @sie17136 @koeuh @07yujin @poollabug @vernonburger @dutifullyannoyingfox @000rpheus @wccycc @sunus-sun @highhjime @chweverni @toosspicy @heartlvrrss @s9nwoo @yoursyuno @stanriize01 @rosesfortaro @lampcults @alwayswook

#between the lines #riize imagines #riize scenarios #riize x reader #wonbin imagines #wonbin x reader #wonbin scenarios #riize social media au #riize fake texts #riize smau #wonbin fake texts #wonbin social media au #wonbin smau #park wonbin imagines #park wonbin x reader #park wonbin social media au #park wonbin smau #riize au #wonbin au #park wonbin au #riize smut #wonbin smut #park wonbin smut #riize wonbin #wonbin #park wonbin

[inmyheadandthoughts]

4th May 2022

Ever since new year’s day this year, I’ve been dreading the arrival of this birthday. I’d always want to add “for some reason”, but i know almost exactly what that reason is. Perhaps i’m afraid of turning older, getting wearier, more broken down. Perhaps i’m scared i’d lose my youthful “edge”, when compared with everyone else. Perhaps i’m afraid that someone younger would come to me with questions, expecting help from someone like me “with my life experience” when i have nothing to offer. Perhaps i’m regretful of things that i could have, should have done when i was younger, but just couldn’t find the resources i needed, whether internal or external, and beat myself up for it. Perhaps also i never really expected to live that long either.

Days have been passing by so fast and suddenly i’m at my “new” workplace for almost a year and a half now - crazy when i thought i’d never survive past my 6-month probation. And despite feeling constantly inadequate, i’m just hearing good things which weird me out totally. Yet despite all this i feel incredibly down on myself, beat myself up for not working normally, not socialising normally, being the ‘weird one’, worried i’d be too cold and people would hate me, etc…

Some days, now often, i would wake up in the morning and feel almost disappointed that i’d woken up. For some reason i’d expected a very different outcome (one that i technically would not experience - cause i’d be DEAD LOL), and obviously that isn’t the case every time. Sigh. I need to - should be - grateful i get to wake up and experience a brand new day - I FUCKING KNOW this, gratitude journaling yadda yadda - but i can’t even do that the second i open my eyes. I used to be able to get over this. Used to feel better, but now everything is getting worse and i don’t really know what to do. I can’t think clearly, speak at the speed at which my brain is thinking, am clumsier than usual - i just want to take a break. A long fucking break. But again, as i always have feared - what if that break lasts forever?

I really feel like since it’s the last year of my twenties i should just really say a big FUCK IT and just do the things i’ve been DYING to try. And now that i have some financial resources, i might just do that. I’ve been trying - at least once a week - to look for things related to living/working abroad. Maybe Australia would be nice (even though it’s hot in some parts of the year lol, one can’t have everything i suppose), although the working holiday visas are now full. I do have another option with the working visa though, and i stand a pretty good chance it seems (although the application fees are HELLA expensive. Sometimes i really need to look above things being expensive and see its real worth. That’s what you get when you come from a low-income background lol), so i might try and apply. If i get it, great, time to go job hunting there, but if not, at least i can say i tried i guess? My main purpose is really to live away from my parents, so even if i don’t make it out of my home country…then at least i guess that’s my sign to rent locally.

But i digress. I was so sure i’d be crazily depressed today seeing as i got up with the same depressive mood that’s been bugging me all week, but i guess little things made it a little less shitty. Birthdays make me weirded out but i’m glad some people wished me this year, which is always nice to see. Had some pecan pie courtesy of my colleague. Managed to hang out and have dinner with colleagues that are hard to catch outside of work hours and a had quite a nice time chatting (rare for socially anxious me, of course). Went home and showered, wasted some time watching brainless tv (it was actually news but i couldn’t concentrate…), and now i’m here typing this up so i wouldn’t forget documenting (especially the waking up thing - maybe i should tell my psychologist but will she force the mindfulness thing down my throat again…we shall see)

#birthday anxiety? #depression #i guess #idk #birthday #lol

[infamous-empire]

Infamous Empire’s random movie thoughts - Perfect Blue

Just to give some context behind this: my relationship with films in general is... weird. I’m constantly surrounded by endless shoutouts, references, and general osmosis to movies I’ve never watched in pop culture and I watched a ton of videos about movies growing up, but for most of my life, I rarely actually cared enough to watch that many movies. I just kinda thought “yeah, I’ll get to watching all these movies whenever I have the time” then just walked away. Plus, part of me kinda had a weird sort of prejudice against films as a medium during my teenage years since I was used to the MCU and hundreds-episode long anime at that point and just thought that self-contained films couldn’t deliver the kind of long stories I’d become accustomed to, but that’s neither here nor there Anyway, a few months ago, I kinda just decided “alright, I’m not getting any younger, might as well watch every movie that’s on my backlog” and I’ve been grinding my way through them ever since. So it was around this week I decided that I might as well have something to show for it by slapping my thoughts on whatever movie I’d watched onto Tumblr, and this felt like as good a place to start as any.

Anyway, I’ve never seen any films from Satoshi Kon, so going into this movie, all I knew was that it was really artsy and kind of a Mind Screw. I tend to find that those kind of works can be rather hit-or-miss for me, so I properly kept my expectations measured going into this. Thankfully, every concern I might have had going in was completely swept away by how great the film ended up being

At its core, the film is the story of a struggling actress/former idol trying to keep her sanity and identity in the face of an industry that strips of her autonomy and controls her self-image, and a rabid fan whose stalker behavior and criticism of her outward behavior wear at her mental health. From the very premise, the movie is relentlessly critical of the misogyny often inherent in the film and idol industries, the attitude of fan entitlement which fuels it, and the way all of it affects those simply trying to make a living doing what they love

Mima’s struggles are compelling in their nuance. She’s trying to convince herself that she’s changed for the better just as much as she tries to convince the public, and the separation between the mask she wears as a celebrity, her former life as an idol, and the various roles she plays in film and television are key to the movie’s central theme of identity. The more success she gains, the less control she has over her image, instead decided by callous producers who care nothing for her outside of profiting off her success, which leads her to break down even further. The deterioration of her mental state made clear by how she hallucinates of her past idol self judging her for her “impure” decisions, and her reaction to that hallucination becomes more and more severe as the film goes on

One of the best parts of the movie’s presentation is the way its structure collapses just as much as her mental state does. Towards the last third of the film, it feels almost like a dream in a way that’s honestly hard to describe without going into an obnoxious amount of detail, but it genuinely left me speechless and questioning what’s even real or not, as did several of the major plot twists that came in towards the end, which retroactively reshape how you view several parts of the film.

Overall, this movie is nothing less than the masterpiece it was hyped up to be, and for how strong the whole thing was, I’m now genuinely excited to check out the rest of Satoshi Kon’s filmography, since I’ve heard they don’t exactly disappoint either

#anime #satoshi kon #perfect blue #review #rambling #movie #This is my first time writing something extensive on this site #please no bulli

[danagoestorehab]

100 reasons to go to rehab

because i actually really do want to be better not bitter.

because all i have wanted for so long is to have a sense of community.

for my mental health to improve and it is tragic and awful and i can't deal with it.

for my physical health to improve which is also tragic and awful but to a lesser to degree.

to address the millions of past traumas that i have always buried away.

to sort out familial ties which i also always ruin.

to sort out my eating. that's very difficult.

so that i do not have to carry on feeling this way continuously

because the seaside is nice

because i want a sense of belonging

because i am emotionally unstable and its hard

because i want to have an actual life

to stop funding war in columbia with my personal choices

to stop rotting a hole in my nose

so i don't have any nightmares anymore

so that i can have a bad day without feeling like the worlds ending

so that i can stop disappointing people

so that i can do better things for other people

so that my internal organs do not fail

so that i can attempt to karma balance the bad things that i have done if thats even possible

so that i can run a marathon with rob

so that i can stop being a covert narcissist

so that i can wake up in situations that i do not want to run away from

so that i do not feel constantly drenched in guilt and shame

so that i can do volunteer work

so that i can make friends with new people

so that i can learn to form healthy relationships

so that i can learn to live not survive

so that i no longer feel the need to lie

because i forget that drugs are actually illegal and therefore a crime

because i want to be a person that others can depend on

because i do actually just believe in the goodness of others

because i want to be able to make nice memories

because i want to be good for people

because this country is probably sick of me

because then i can keep up with appointments

so that i can do things based on rationale and reason instead of fear

so that landlords in cardiff dont have to hate me

so that i can get out of this vicious cycle

so that i can actually use my bike

so that i can learn more from other people

so that i can teach others things so that they don't have to learn the hard way

so i can stop writing apology letters

so that i can make people proud of me

so that i can find a reason to be proud of myself

so that maybe one change i make inspires others to change also

so that my drug dealers can find healthier means of maintaining an income

so that there is more free space in nhs hospitals

so that i stop being sick all of the time

apple will have less data to use for marketing because i will not be permanently attached to my phone

because this is all i have thought about for the past decade or so

because even very terrible people deserve second chances

because listening to the same three songs on repeat whilst catastrophising my life endlessly is not an existence

because i contribute an ungodly amount of disposable vapes which is funneling climate change and i reckon given the chance i could stop being so self obsessed and dedicate myself to a reusable or other coping mechanisms.

because i feel like the stray cat that we feed will be disappointed in me

because russian roulette is not a fun game

because other people are constantly being hurt through my actions and inactions

because other people believe in me as well

because i have a believed to be cursed painting i found by a road in my room that i found in which i jokingly refer to as my 'dorian gray' and i don't really want to look at it any longer

because lloyds can only issue so many new debit cards

because even at a minuscule level, the straws and baggies used are probably responsible for trapped fish in the sea

because i haven't been to the beach in a year

because i really want to live long enough to see another year

because its tiring being tired

because my skin is not very good

because if everybody got clean there would be minimal crime

because the shop i work at are really really reallly sick and tired of me

because i don't sleep very well at all nowadays

because this really is my only option

because i definitely have a vitamin d deficiency and going outside more would help

because i genuinely want to be more selfless

because the priory gets a drunk dial at least once a year and that needs to stop

because i still havent replaced my flatmates toothpaste

because people can be good and kind and dependable when given the chance even if they seem like cowardly cowardly custard

because lorna is lovely and i have put her through a lot

because i am sick of setting other people on fire to keep myself warm

because i am sick of using bad metaphors

because there is more to life than my own four walls and i am literally trapped

because its pathetic playing the victim card any longer

because keeping up a pretense is exceptionally hard

because i'm almost at 100 reasons and i haven't had to pause for longer than a second to think of another reason why

because i don't want to doom myself to a fate never destined for me

because i am sick of being a repeat customer at medically assisted detox

because even the bad characters in books are felt empathy for sometimes

because i had written this on my calender

because this was a new years resolution for many years

because relocating to spain and changing my identity is excessive and also unlikely to succeed

because my fish deserve to be rehomed somewhere nicer

because i want to be able to take care of a plant without it dying

because sweet dee is lovely and probably sick of me and she shouldn't be

because my actions affect others and the fact that it does replays continuously on my mind

because i keep on doing things when i get anxious and, like my other issues, denying it

because i originally am from england and it seems destined to address my trauma where it started

because i hate whichever sad awful terrible version of me is presented to other people

because i am a waste of a masters degree

because people don't just deserve second chances but third chances and fourths and people really can be good and true and kind and better when they need to be

because i would love to find out more about other people

because writing 98 issues was way both too easy and way too difficult for me to write

because my daily horoscope app has been insanely accurate and i have the screenshots to prove it

because i so desperately believe broken people can get better if they really try to be

#drug recovery #drug rehab #100 reasons to go to rehab

[jeremy-ken-anderson]

Top Picks

I don’t have the first interest in getting into LoL’s competitive scene. I hate everything I’ve ever seen about that scene. I do like the champions in the game.

I want to share a couple of the ones I do and don’t like, and why - reasons that aren’t really tied to power directly. Spoiler line to protect the innocent from my wall of text.

Ezreal: (High-mobility mage who looks like a high schooler at an archaeology summer camp) This guy feels like a D&D character who specializes in Magic Missile. He’s very powerful, but in spite of a kit that can handle a lot of different things he feels really basic and kind of bland. It’s fascinating to me how little interest I hold for him, both because of his high power/mobility and the level of popularity he clearly has in the community.

Anivia: (Frost Phoenix) The creature design and the magic kit for this character are really neat. I wouldn’t put her at the top but she’s very high up there. The reactivated skill shots are cool and the ability to drop an ice wall means your enemy has to constantly play around the possibility that they’ll have to cope with an extra bit of terrain in the middle of a play.

Dr Mundo: (Bizarro pretending at being a doctor) This guy’s hilarious, he’s a fun take on tanking, and he’s reasonably powerful. In a tier list he’d be easy A, borderline S.

Evelynn: (Stealth predator with seductress skin) I love the play style. They mechanically nailed the predatory mood, where at your best you’re constantly isolating prey, picking them off, making their whole team paranoid, and just wrecking their shit. Eve’s the only “natural-stealth” champion in the game, generally able to go unseen on the enemy minimap until she’s in direct conflict with enemy team members. This means she usually gets to pick engagement, which is a terrifying advantage. This would be my first clear S pick, and was one of the first champs I bought because I knew it coming in.

Heimerdinger/Zyra/Yorick/Illaoi/Azir: Also at the top of my list I’m just plain a sucker for summoning. I love bringing in extra units the enemy team has to cope with when they get near you. And the real-time and spatial elements make summoner characters automatically dynamic compared to champions who only move themselves around.

Zac: (mostly-humanoid living goo) I love the animation on this guy, his style of demi-tanking, and his hit-and-run skirmish capability. He can slingshot himself into battle using his gooey-rubbery body! It’s just so wild and fun.

The Void Beasts: I want so bad to like all of these guys and somehow none of them get above B tier when I actually play them. Cho’gath has a cool “getting physically bigger during the game” mechanic but it requires the “micromanaging minion hp” part of the game that I hate. Rek’sai has a burrowing mechanic but doesn’t have the stealth you’d expect of a burrower. Vel’koz is essentially a turret-mage, which isn’t my jam though I respect the way the attack design encourages use of weird angles. (They’ve got a shot that’s t-shaped, which means you can hit enemies farther than its base attack range by firing 45 degrees away because pythagoras, and also means you can fire around obstacles)

Actually I’m not being fair. Bel’veth and Kha’zix I haven’t played enough to give a fair read and I remember having a good time with Kha’zix last time I played them. So mostly it’s just Cho’gath who’s disappointed me, and Rek’sai I didn’t quite get into on a few plays.

Direct Marksmen: I want to like them, but I find it hard to place them. It’s too easy for super-basic attackers with swords or axes to just run them down, and they don’t actually do as great at ambush tactics as I’d like. They can be good at kiting but that’s less interesting to me and only sometimes works in this game.

Once you get into hybrids things get interesting. The marksman/offense support of Kalista is interesting. Senna’s ghost-fog stealth support looks SUPER interesting. Samira and Aphelios’ sometimes-melee angle is curious, though I haven’t played enough to say what I think for good or ill. But I find the purer marksmen like Caitlyn or Ashe or Vayne a little blah and it seems like the reason is (range + mobility) is so strong that giving them much more gives them too much power.

Sett: This guy’s fun to play. I’m not sure it’s due to anything more than his ult being so bombastic (he grabs and slams down an enemy like he’s slam-dunking them) and his kit being a little OP (the blessing of being a new champion in a game that sells champions) but I’m excited to try more of him and that’s not often true of characters in his role (Fighter), for me.

Bard/Ivern: Also on the list of characters I want to like but haven’t found enjoyment with, I get the sense that their strength lies in unified team play and I don’t expect ever to be on a 5-man call playing this game. They’re weird in fun ways, but just don’t do enough independently that you can cope with using them in solo queue. Lux or Janna or Karma just doesn’t require the same level of coordination to get good plays out. Both have multiple abilities that are exclusively for making clever plays possible for clever allies. Bard also has a passive ability that requires you to roam around, which requires allies who understand macro play when an ally is roaming (the super short version: generally you yield a little ground, to keep yourself safe from enemy ganks and to make it easier for your own allies to gank).

#League of Legends

[husbandohunter]

A Small Predicament [Baby Genshin x Reader]

Characters: Scaramouche, Diluc, Kaeya, Childe, Xiao, Zhongli, Albedo

Synopsis: Cursed for a week, the boys either have to live with it or find a cure as soon as possible. You on the otherhand hoped otherwise.

(A/n): It only takes ONE glance for me to start having ideas. It was twelve in the morning yall, enjoy~

Oh here's part 2

--------

Scaramouche

• "Oh you shrank? I couldn't tell-"

• Threatens that he will murder you to pieces and burn your remains but his voice was so squeaky and high pitched (voice crack) that you couldn't help but burst into a tearful laughter. 

• Its payback time  Bully him, take his hat and hover it above his head. Truthfully, without his hat Scaramouche looks like a little schoolboy. Overall less intimidating.

• Tries glaring. Cute. He's really bratty as a kid, sitting on a high chair (which you had to help him get on) and demanding his servants to do his bidding. In reality, his personality never changed. You realized that even as a grown up he still acts like this (bratty kid in a grown man body).

• The curse made his week a living hell. Signora had the audacity to pull his ear when he misbehaves. Childe constantly messes with his hair while giving head pats and the WORST of all, pinching his cheeks. Scaramouche never wanted to commit arson so bad in his life.

• Eventually finds a cure so he doesn't have to deal with it anymore and orders everyone to never speak of it again. Though, he's plotting how he'll get revenge on everyone who made fun of him using the very same curse (You better run).

~~x~~

Diluc

• "Oh…Oh my! Diluc you're just so cute!" 

• Diluc grimaces as you glomp him in this state. How can you help it? With his head so small it makes his hair all the more fluffier! His coat no longer fits him to the point the sleeves had made past his fingertips. He tried wielding his claymore again, only to lose balance and fall flat onto his bum

• (insert kid voice "Retribution!") Did I mention the babyface?

• Diluc tries to act as if everything was normal, acting like the Darknight hero and Mondstadt's Tycoon but fun-sized. He couldn't. There was no way people would take him seriously in business meetings. Same with fighting abyss mages, his smaller form was too much of a disadvantage. Thus you ended up doing most of his paperwork.

• One time you caught him sitting on the floor couldn't reach his office desk  while reading away the various books for a cure. It was three in the morning. You told him it was way past his bedtime and he argues saying when did he ever have a curfew schedule. In the end you managed to convince him and he begrudgingly obliges.

• The type to NOT ask for help even when it's obvious that he really needs it. Before he was the one who helped you reach things from the top shelves, oh how the tables have turned. He avoids Kaeya like a plague unless he was in it for another round of funny remarks. When he wanted to go out and get some fresh air, you insisted on accompanying him. Worst mistake in his life. A travelling merchant bumps into you and commented that you had a very cute son. Diluc was mortified.

• The day ended up with him sulking in his room. Although it was tempting, you resisted from cooing over his adorable form after days of treating him like a child. It wasn't because you were teasing him, Diluc just works so hard that you wanted to spoil him a bit. At least he could still play a game of chess with you.

• When things went back to normal, Diluc ensures that you will NOT see him as your son.

~~x~~

Kaeya

• "Well look who it is, my little Prince Kaeya~"

• Tries really hard not be bothered by it at all. Kaeya still maintains his suave facade, throwing in a couple of flirting lines here and there (and forcing his voice to go a few octaves too low in which puberty has yet to occur HA). Though no matter what approach, he couldn't ignore the sparkling mischievious glint in your eye. You were obviously not taking him seriously.

• Things couldn't get any worse. He lost his masculine physique and boob window, he wasn't able to go to certain places without supervision. But the worst thing of all was that he was underaged. Kaeya hated the fact he couldn't drink anymore, he even insisted you to sneak him a few bottles (which you refused) and had to settle with plain beverages such as fruit juice (what an insult). He was never really grounded since his childhood days but he certainly felt like he was grounded now. 

• Kaeya still kisses you on the lips whether you like it or not. If you ask him to sit on your lap, he will find a way to turn the position into his favour such as resting his face between your breasts. You're not gonna treat him like a kid, nuh-uh, he actively avoids it.

• Since his personality still remains, Kaeya is a naughty child. He will use his innocent appearance to sway people (even you) to get what he wants. That was how he was able to take a sip of the wine he stole somewhere (he wouldn't tell you). Diluc scolded him heavily and threatened to ban him from drinking from his Tavern for a week (they ended up arguing, Kaeya being the passive aggressive little shit he is).

• He was extremely relieved to return back to his normal form again. He has so much to catch up (specifically his bedtime activities with you *wink wonk*)

~~x~~

Child(e)

• "Hmmm to be honest, this actually suits you very much."

• Unlike the other boys, Childe was completely okay with it. Turns out that YOU were the one who was not going to be okay. If you thought taking care of Teucer was energy-draining then expect Childe to take that tenfold and beyond.

• You've officially became his full-time babysitter who is in desperate need of a raise (and rest). You can't take your eyes off of him and archons forbid that he will ever meet Klee. One point he'll be running ahead by your side and the next you'll find him getting himself in a 1vs7 situation with some shady looking treasure hoarders. Childe genuinely thinks he could take them on but the curse downgraded his abilities. You carried him and barely made out of it alive. (This made you ponder whether the best solution would be to strap him against a chair for the time being…)

• Childe being a child will eat all the candies and ice cream he pleases. You wonder if the curse also turned him a few years back or was it that he acts like this simply because he wanted to (it was the latter). He loves being spoiled, spoiled by you! Childe demands your full attention, spoon-feeding his meals, back rubs and head pats. Yep, he's definitely doing this on purpose.

• Did he just call you 'mommy'? (Childe has mommy kink confirmed).  He has so much energy that it was exhausting, you literally had to drag him away from what ever he was doing in order to get him to bed. "No Childe, your sleeping time is 9p.m stop whining." He bargained that he'll sleep if you sleep beside him (you didn't get any sleep. You knew what he was planning. In the end, you tried to make sure he didn't sneak out behind your back.)

• Finally you were able to get out of that hell-hole. Childe promised to make it up to you, you deserve it after all~

~~x~~

Small (aka Xiao)

• "Did you know in the Liyuean language, Xiao translates to small?" You didn't say that out loud. Not when he's this angry (this angy)

• He just stands there, crossing his arms and grumbling. You were hesitant to touch him in case he might hiss at you. Xiao has always been short, maybe an inch taller than you, but seeing him like this made you think 'my almighty yaksha can't be this cute♡'

• He gets mad when you no longer call his name for help. How could you? He's just so precious~ Xiao makes it clear that no matter what form he takes, it doesn't make him weak ("Adepti and you mortals are nothing alike." Or so he says but you could tell he wasn't running as fast as he used to because…small legs). You may not comment on it aloud but he can tell just by the look on your face and it irritates him.

• Also the type to not ask for help but worse. Xiao is an agressive little kid, he seems as if he'll be willing to bite someone's finger off if they try to pet him (He gives strong cat vibes, so thats understandable). His spear was too big for him to wield so he often has to put it away or else he might knock someone over with it. Xiao hates being short so you'll be hearing him complain alot.

• Since he was an adepti, he didn't need to sleep however, the curse must have brought down his power by a significant amount to the point you DID catch him napping. You almost swooned out loud just by taking a glance upon his face. For once he didn't wear his signature grumpy look. Xiao appears like a normal child, one full of innocence. His snoring was soft and breathly but that just meant he was deep asleep. (You wished to take a picture). 

• Of course, everything had to come to an end (much to your disappointment), he still complains about the incident to this day.

~~x~~

Zhongli

• How is it possible for a baby to still look so handsome? (Must be his godly abilities)

• Zhongli is unfazed by this 'curse' since his past lives have already taken many forms. Though for some reason whenever he walks down the streets of Liyue, young girls, mothers, ladies all come him was and start complimenting him and gushing over him (he was suffocating). They'd squeeze him tight or squish his cheeks, it only takes once glance before the little girls start blushing and hiding behind their moms.

• Needless to say, despite what form he is in, Zhongli is still able to get free stuff. He got some free candies and some free kites to play with. You had to help him carry his items. Zhongli ends up tripping too much because his tailcoat reached his feet (he decided to just take it off. You had to hold that too). Seems like he can have anyone do things for him in the end HA.

• He still got that drippy voice and you're just like ???? "What on Teyvat Zhongli, you're a kid." This is why you can't see him as one, its nearly impossible.

• Actively avoids Hu Tao and Childe. Once Hu Tao caught sight of him and chased him for hours, he couldn't stay in one spot knowing that she might just pop out of no where. Childe still spoils him, however Zhongli feels irritated by the fact the only things Childe buys him toys (its different when other people do it.)

• Everytime you guys go back strolling through Liyue, you had to hold his hand in case more women come swarming hin again. You swear that at this rate he might get kidnapped because hes just such a beautiful baby.

• Zhongli learned an important lesson after his curse was lifted: no matter how many years he lives throughout  never take a form of a child.

~~x~~

Albedo

• You find him buried beneath a pile of books and had to dig him out before he suffocates.

• Albedo has the cutest eyes, they're big and round full of curiosity and they sparkle too (he has the prettiest eyes out of everyone tbh). He is the only person who is fascinated by this outcome and immediately goes in the wild to test out his new physique. 

• He was always curious why Klee T-poses when she runs so he decided to try it out himself. She was thrilled to find out that she now has a little brother to play with. In the end, Albedo indulges in the games she always wanted to play but couldn't because he was too old: princess dress up tea parties.

• You felt many things when you saw Albedo wearing a frilly gown and a plastic tiara tucked on his head. Deep down you knew regardless of what gender Albedo was still pretty. Klee even had the guts to redo his hair and hardly anyone was able to recognize it was him at all. He has pigtails, PIGTAILS! You made sure to burn that image into the very depths of your mind forever.

• The only advantage was the he was ablw to fit through small spaces, other than that, being small was way too inconvenient. He knocked down a few of his potion bottles which damaged the floor (thankfully not him) because they were lethal (he wonders how Klee was able to not injure herself when using bombs). You carried him and lifted him to alot of places such as trudging through the snow because Albedo would surely fall on his face due to his small form.

• Enough was enough, he only lasted a day with this and decided to just make a potion and put an end to the curse once and for all. 

#genshin impact #diluc x reader #kaeya x reader #albedo x reader #zhongli x reader #xiao x reader #childe x reader #genshin impact scaramouche #genshin impact headcanons #diluc #diluc ragnvindr #Kaeya #kaeya alberich #tartagalia x reader #genshin impact scenarios #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #nya writes #scaramouche x reader

[luminnara]

Nesting | alpha!kiribaku x omega!reader fluff

Something soft and fluffy w a/b/o dynamics w kiribaku? Or just one of them if you don’t do poly things

Oh ho ho, don’t you worry I LOVE poly things! I especially love kiribaku x reader because like, how can you NOT lol

I made this super sweet and nice because I crave that feel good fluff! This is SFW but there’s a little mention of some adult stuff. Nothing past that though!

Requests are open!

Warnings: none

Gender neutral reader

Having two alphas wasn’t typical, at least not as far as you knew. Yeah, you were sure that there were all kinds of people and arrangements out there, but you had never really heard of alphas being willing to share an omega. Most of the time, they just got too possessive; when alphas went into ruts or omegas into heats, the pheromones being pumped into the air were sometimes strong enough to ruin entire friendships.

Not for you, though.

When the three of you became a thing, there was no drama. There was no fighting between the two boys, no conflict. You hadn’t really set out to date both of them, but, well...one thing led to another, and next thing you knew, you were all living in an apartment together, and you had two big mating marks on your neck.

It all happened so naturally. It was almost as if the three of you were fated to be together, or something. Yeah, you had your disagreements—Katsuki’s temper was infamous, and Eijiro could almost be too nice sometimes—but what relationship didn’t have a few spats here and there? Your fights never lasted long, and all in all, you were happier than you ever thought possible.

“I’m home!” Eijiro’s voice called, followed by the sound of the door closing.

But of course you already knew. You could smell him the second he walked in, and you were already up and running towards him.

“Whoa, hey!” He laughed as you launched yourself at him, catching you easily and grinning that shark grin of his. “Miss me or somethin’?”

“I always do,” you smiled, hooking your arms around his neck.

His hands settled on your butt as he held you, and he nuzzled into your neck. Both alphas always wanted to be covered in your scent, but Kirishima especially loved it, constantly shoving his nose against the glands and sometimes rubbing his entire head over them. He once told you that he liked being able to smell you on him even when you weren’t around, and the thought of him strutting around at the agency, absolutely reeking of you, made you blush whenever it crossed your mind.

“Is Katsuki home yet?” He asked, walking you down the entry hall and into the living room.

“No,” you sighed. “I think he’s working late tonight...”

You tried not to let your disappointment sound in your voice, but it was impossible to hide anything from Eijiro. He knew how stressful it could be, with both him and Katsuki working as some of the top pro heroes in the city. There were plenty of days where they both came home late, too tired to do anything other than drag themselves into bed and curl up around you. It had a tendency to leave you feeling dejected and alone, and lately, you had taken up a new hobby to try to distract yourself.

Well...hobby was a loose word. It was more just...something you had found yourself with the sudden urge to do, and tonight, the fruits of your labor were finally ready to be revealed.

When Kirishima stepped into the living room, he stopped, and you knew he had seen it.

“Hey, is that...?” He asked, voice trailing off as he stared.

You wiggled out of his arms, beaming up at him as soon as you were standing on your own. “A nest? Sure is!”

The look on your boyfriend’s face was priceless. His eyes were wide, like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. The living room floor was covered in blankets and pillows, all strategically piled up to form the best, coziest nest you could make. As Kirishima took a step closer, he spotted a few of his shirts and hoodies mixed in, a grin finding its way onto his face.

“Babe,” he finally spoke up, his voice soft, “are you really nesting?”

A small blush crept to your cheeks as you nodded, suddenly feeling shy. “Yeah, I guess so...I dunno where it came from really, I just started getting the urge to make it...”

Suddenly, he swept you up into his arms again, a loud, humming purr vibrating in his chest as he gave you a squeeze with those strong arms of his. “It looks amazing, baby.”

You sighed happily, relaxing against him. “Do...do you wanna come try it out with me?”

He almost dropped you again in shock. “H-huh?”

“Yeah!” you freed yourself from his grip once more and grabbed his hand, giving him a tug. 

“Y-you trust me enough...?” his face was adorably surprised, eyes wide as he let you pull him towards your nest.

“Well yeah, duh!” you plopped down in the center of all the blankets and clothes, smiling up at him as he stood over you. “Of course I trust you...you and Katsuki are the best alphas anyone could ask for. Why do you think I felt safe enough to even make a nest?”

You could swear you saw some tears welling up in his eyes, but he quickly wiped them away. “Fuck, I love you so much...”

“Then c’mere, silly,” you laughed lightly, patting the space next to you. 

He finally obliged, hunkering down and sighing happily as he surrounded himself with your scent. The nest was cozy, but big enough for three, and as you waited for Katsuki to get home, you found yourself chattering to Eijiro about exactly how it was made, what shirts you had snagged from his and Katsuki’s drawers, why you had piled up those pillows over there and those way over there, why every single plush in the apartment was strategically placed on top of everything else, and why he kept finding more and more of his belongings buried amongst the blankets. 

“Babe, this is mine,” he said, holding up an old, fraying wallet. 

“Yes, and?” you snatched it out of his hand, tucking it back in its spot. “You never use it. And it smells just like you.”

He chuckled, putting an arm around you and pulling you up against his chest while he continued to explore the nest. “Still can’t believe you went and did all this so quickly. You must have been working nonstop all day.”

You puffed up proudly, but before you had the chance to reply, you heard the door slam open and the sound of heavy boots stomping in. A warm, smoky-cinnamon smell wafted in, and you trilled happily. Katsuki was finally back home, and as you stood up on your knees, you saw him kicking his shoes off and hanging his coat up by the door. 

“Oy, I’m home,” he called tiredly, too busy putting on his house slippers to glance over at you yet. “Shitty hair, where are you? You make it back alive today?”

“Still in one piece, Katsuki,” Kirishima laughed, leaning back on his hand as you shot out of your nest to greet your other alpha.

“That’s something, I guess.” Bakugou grunted, turning towards the kitchen. He was moving slowly, like all of his muscles ached and he just wanted to go to bed. 

You weren’t about to let him, though. Not yet.

“Katsukiiiiiii,” you called, scrambling up onto the couch to get a better look at him. 

“Hey there, kitten.” he tossed his bag down in its usual place at the table, finally looking up at you. 

You saw his usually harsh gaze soften as his red eyes met yours, something close to the beginning of a smile tugging at the edges of his lips. Katsuki was a rough guy, always grumpy even while he was out there being one of the best heroes in the city, but at home, he was quieter. Home was a safe place for him, and even though he was still a handful, he was your handful, and you wouldn’t trade him for the world...although right now, you were starting to get irritated by the fact that he had yet to see the nest you worked so hard on.

“What’re you two losers doin’ down there?” he asked, walking towards you lazily. “Fuckin’ on the living room floor, without me?”

“Katsuki, come on.” you rolled your eyes. 

“What? It’s a valid question.” he said as he finally reached you, placing his hands over yours where they rested on the back of the couch. He closed his eyes, tilting his head up for you in an open invitation. “Miss me today?”

You nuzzled up against his chin, feeling him relax around you as you pumped out a happy, pheromone-filled scent for him. “Why don’t you take a look at what I spent all day doing, and then you tell me?”

He sighed, grumbling something under his breath as he cracked his eyes open. Then, he fell absolutely still, and when you pulled back and looked up at him, you saw that he was staring, eyes wide in disbelief. He had frozen completely, as if he had absolutely no idea how to process what he was seeing.

“Like it?” you asked, following his gaze back to your nest. 

Kirishima was still sitting in the center of it, resting one arm on his knee while he supported his weight on the other. There was a gentle, lazy smile on his face, and as he saw that Bakugou wasn’t moving, he tossed his head. “Katsuki, come see what our little omega worked so hard on.”

“Yeah, Katsuki.” you hopped off the couch, walking around the end of it to take his hand and drag him towards your nest. “Come join us.”

He let you pull him down, and for a moment, all he could do was take a deep breath and inhale the scents of his two mates. Ever so slowly, his face relaxed, and as the three of you snuggled in, he pulled you close and pressed a kiss against your forehead.

“What do you think?” you asked, getting cozy between your two boys.

“It’s fucking perfect, baby.” he said. “You’re fucking perfect.”

“Guess we’re not too bad at this whole alpha thing after all, huh?” Kirishima asked, leaning forward to greet Bakugou with a light kiss. 

“Never said we were.” Katsuki huffed, bristling for a moment before he calmed down. “Still...there are some alphas who never get to see their omega’s nest, let alone be invited in. I guess...you must feel pretty safe with us.”

“I do!” you chirped, grabbing a blanket and pulling it over yourself. “I’m happy. Well...I made this nest because I was getting so lonely during the day, and I wanted to be able to smell you guys while you were gone...”

The boys frowned at each other. 

“...but just making it made me feel better.”

You heard Katsuki sigh in relief as Eijiro gently headbutted you. 

“We have been working a lot lately...” he said quietly. 

“So we’ll change that,” Katsuki said roughly. “Our omega comes before anything. If you aren’t happy, what’s the point?”

You couldn’t help the wide smile on your face as you tugged them both down for a kiss, one by one. You spent the rest of the evening cuddled up in your nest, falling asleep on top of your boys, happy to finally, finally be getting the quality time you had been missing so much lately.

#bakugou x reader #kiribaku #Alpha!Kirishima #alpha!bakugou #alpha!kirishima x reader #alpha!bakugou x omega!reader #kiribaku x reader #a/b/o dynamics #a/b/o