#and its already weird bc the course is 2 years long but bc lvl 3 and lvl 2 were grouped together last year me and da gang get a bonus year

[warmthpdf]

i have 2 or 3 weeks left of my project and im so tiredddddd :,,,,,) i do not want to animate!!!! i want to be in a field with my friends and make summer memories i never got to make when i was a kid and go bowling on my birthday and play in the arcade and probably cry over how much my friends mean to me!!! but also im not ready for it to set in that next year will be my last year of college bc wtf ????

#and its already weird bc the course is 2 years long but bc lvl 3 and lvl 2 were grouped together last year me and da gang get a bonus year?? #its just a lot of ! stuff that i dont wanna think about because college has literally changed my life and i dont look forward to it ending #but even more than that i dont wanna mourn my college years before theyre even over?? i dont want to be nostalgic rather than live #and still i have over a YEARRR of college and i really am trying to believe that the friends ive made arent going to disappear when its over #my brain sees an opportunity for me to be abandoned and thinks its the only possible outcome #but im trying to believe otherwise and my friends reassurance has helped that :( #sometimes love is ur head being cradled in a hug and being told that we're here for you and that they all want to make memories with you #IDK MY BRAIN DOESNT COMPUTE IT BECAUSE IVE NEVER HAD FRIENDS LIKE THIS BEFORE?? IN REAL LIFE I MEAN #like people are friends with me for more than the necessity of having someone you get along with while at college ?? #like people love me beyond it being an obligation and WANT to make memories and consider each other family and and and #just brrrrr #i have a lot of fears about things ending ive realised? fear of childhood ending. fear of friendships ending. fear of college ending #and they all just centre around that fear of abandonment. ill never rly forgive the person who is the reason i have these fears #but i want to believe that theres more and that im loved and will continue to be loved :') #mine #'its stuff i dont wanna think about' *RANTS IN TAGS ABOUT IT*