#and it's TRULY too much to process

[eyes-of-nine]

truly what a guy

#malevolent #malevolent podcast #arthur lester #arthur malevolent #john doe #john malevolent #my art #ahfdgfghsdd i have so many important things to do but these two have overtaken all of my waking thoughts so i'm fucked to say the least #adgfd i just wanna talk about them with someone but no one i know has the energy for that 12h long infodump #straight up today was my first truly no work day in a few weeks and what did i do? spent half the day figuring out how i want to draw arthur #still not sure if this the direction i wanna take his design in but somehow along the process he ended up as like my ideal look on masc days #tbh i don't have the time to unpack whatever that says about me ywy #john's design is very much still a first draft but i can't think about it too much or i might just actually go insane #this podcast makes me unwell(affectionate) #the universe is so evil for not letting me just draw them all day long ywy #in an ideal world it would be no diploma no uni applications only malevolent #.....i'm gonna stop with the rambling now #so yeah go listen to malevolent

[screwpinecaprice]

@glowweek Day 1

DARK | GLOW

They stayed up until 5 am and now it's almost 4 pm.

Aahshsjgwgiashsh He's suppose to be blocking Connie's face from the sunbeam after he woke up from her stirring to cover her own face.

#Yeah I partially got this idea from that time the light hit Connie's eyes on 'I Am My Monster'. :P #Yooo please don't think too much about where the light is coming from vs the sunbeam hitting them. 😭 #When all else fail BLUR #connverse #Connie Maheswaran #Steven Quartz Universe #SU #glow week #connverse week #Aw man. I gotta get a new laptop as soon as I can. Rendering is such a #fun process and the thing lagging too early on just ruins the experience. 😑 #my shiz #OH CRAP I forgot to check how this looks on my phone. I hope it's not too dark. I mean it looks fine from my graphic tab's screen? #I wanted to incorporate both dark and glow. So I did want the dark parts to be truly dark. But like. Not too dark hopefully. #glowweek

[zosonils]

an aspect of shadow's trauma that i've been thinking about a lot since the sa2 replay is how fucked his perspective of gerald must be after everything, especially assuming he was family to shadow just as much as maria was [which i do every day]. the man who raised you, created you from nothing but tissue samples and energy and hope, the man who could have easily decided you were a simple thing to be used and yet welcomed you into his family as easily as his own granddaughter, who treated you as a person when so many others treated you as a lab rat or a weapon or another soon-to-be-failed prototype, in a moment of unfathomable despair, decided you were to be a tool that would carry out his final plan. perhaps treating you this way was another symptom of his mental breakdown, perhaps deep down he's always seen you as nothing more than a thing to reach his goals with. you will never know, because he is dead. every comforting memory you have of him, every time he encouraged your curiosity or stayed with you during a test he could have observed from afar or told you how proud of you he was, forever tainted by the thought that it could have all been a lie. a variable in an experiment, a means to an end. how would you ever trust anyone ever again man i'm in shreds

#and sure in shth he gets to know what he was made for and that he was never meant to be a weapon but it's hardly closure #because that recording was from before gerald's breakdown. it could've been the illusion of caring as much as anything else #to be clear this post isn't saying that gerald didn't love or care about shadow. personally i think he really truly did #but he said and did some awful things while he was grieving too much to think straight and didn't have his family to ground him anymore #and he was killed before being given the chance to process his grief and what he was doing or to reunite with shadow #so that's the last version of his creator that shadow will ever know. and it'll probably eat at him for the rest of his life #sorry for 1am shadow sadstuck i promise i have a funny post queued up for next time #just fucking whatever #shadow the hedgehog

[crybaby-bkg]

cw: Bakugou dies but comes back to life, “comes back wrong” trope, implied fighting, angst

When Bakugou died, you’re not sure how you went on living. Grief had taken over your life, sat you in the passenger side while it cruised off the highway into icy waters. And even then, you couldn’t find the energy to drown.

It’s why there’s a sudden uptick of energy when you’re promised to have him back. Some top scientists contact you months after his death, tell you to hurry down to the headquarters labs, come and rejoice for what you’re about to witness. And you’re horrified, to say the least.

“This isn’t my husband.” Are your first words when you walk in, watch the figure on the other side of the glass examine its own hands. It looks like your husband but—but his hair isn’t the right shade of blond all over. His nose bridge had a slight bump after a scuffle with a villain. He had a scar on his hand but—but it never looked like it was to sew a pinky beside the other fingers.

“Is that really my husband?” You ask next in disbelief, slowly entering the room. Bakugou’s head snaps up, his eyes a little brighter than you remember but—they hold so much emotion. So much memory, so much panic, so much guilt.

“I left you.” He mutters, his voice raspy and ragged, and you wonder if it’ll always be like this now. It makes you cry a little harder than it should, but you only embrace each other. He’s cold and his shoulders don’t hold the same mass and his back doesn’t carry the same scars. There’s one, jagged and rough, running down his back, and you think, you think that’s where they slipped a new spine in.

“Welcome back home.” You tell him, weeks after meeting him again, new and not totally—Katsuki. He’s stiff and he doesn’t immediately take off his boots when he enters, and it worries you. Makes you think if you’ve just let a stranger into your home, one that has stolen your dead husbands face. Makes you wonder if he’ll be as loving as Katsuki once was, or if he’ll become your monster looming over you with the guilt of not being able to rest anymore.

“I’ve missed you so much.” You whisper against his mouth one night, a little while after he’s moved back. You don’t know why you lay under him, why you let him nestle himself inside of you, why you let him hold you against his chest. Katsuki always ran his hands over your cheeks and neck whenever he held you like this, but this…man, only holds himself up with his hands resting beside your head. It’s alien, how he looks at you, how his hips are methodically measured with every thrust, how he kisses you every 8 seconds. You wonder if he’s more robot than Frankenstein monster.

“Why did you come back to me like this?” You ask him one night, barricaded in the bathroom away from him. You can hear his sobs on the other side, his pleading to be let in. He tells you he never wanted to come back if he had to be like this, that he’s sorry, please let him in, he misses the warmth of your skin, he’s never been so cold before, he’s never liked the cold.

“Is this considered cheating?” You ask yourself aloud one night, when Bakugou is forced back to the lab when he becomes too…un-Bakugou. To sleep with a man that is your husband in every way but? Your husband has been dead for a year now, and yet you stroke the chin of the man that tries so hard to be him everyday, but fails so miserably at it every time.

“I’ll come back to you right this time.” Bakugou promises to you when he’s strapped down to leave for the lab and before he’s sedated. But you don’t believe him—you never did. Your husband is dead, and this animated corpse has been nothing but a cheap mockery of everything you’ve lost and something you will never truly get back.

#I was writing this and then checked my dash and saw another post about this #and felt so guilty and almost didn’t post it aidjdkfj #but I love this trope too much to delete it!!!!! #I’ve written about this in my published book before and it’s one of my favorite things I’ve ever written #there’s just such a deep heartache about having to grieve someone #and then the grieving process being interrupted by the one you lost #and battling with their death even though you still look at them everyday again #but it’s just not right?? it’s not the same?? #they have the same face (kinda) but it’s truly not hem #not them* heck #it reminds me of a convo I had in a psych class about making a new cloned version of yourself #where the question was ‘is the clone/new version still you? or are they an entirely new person now?’ #and at first I said they’re still me you know? they have my face n body n memories #but my prof told me no!! after they have been cloned they are sentient and are now their own person making new memories apart from you #and I thought that was soooo interesting and it makes me fall in love w this trope every time #you’re my person but only a version. you’re who I love but a newer person. you’re not them. you’re everything I’ve missed about them #so heartbreaking I LOVE ITTTT #sorry I’m rapping it’s the sleep meds kicking in #okay bai #bakugou treats! 🍬 #—new treat in the streets! 🍫

[theswedishpajas]

The man truly can’t take a genuine compliment 🙄

#my art stuff #digital art #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #astarion #astarion ancunin #this is part of a series I like to call “I’m never settling on a singular detailed artstyle” #I have no consistency in drawing realistic people/characters other than my shapy cartoon style #but I truly don’t get enough opportunity to properly shade anything with art in that style-!!! it always looks weird to me-!!!!! #I think some rude lil worm in my brain is wriggling around telling me it’s a futile attempt at still doing realism #cus I’m one of those “gifted” artists that grew up promising his parents he’ll end up among the big names or whatever #constantly training to become better at art but with realism oil paintings as the goal #you know how it is 😔 #I wanna shade my lil funky designs but they never feel good enough to really put energy into or whatever so I compromise with stuff - #- like this where I try to draw characters more accurately while still stylizing them and shading them however I feel like it #which is great and all but I should really learn to give my more relaxed and less perfectionist art a chance #I deserve to enjoy the process and the result without working myself dead #it’s so much easier and rewarding to copy cartoon styles - stylizing realism makes me too anxious of doing it “wrong” #at least cartoon styles give me a goal to reach or a reference to strive towards #man I really should just cut myself some slack altogether #either way - this man is a flustered mess and he’s embarrassed about being called adorable in public or something #being teased in an affectionate way about his sweeter side and stuff #don’t ask why he’s shirtless - anatomy is just a lot more fun for me to draw sometimes #tasteful nudity and all that is extremely gorgeous to me #i need to practice anatomy more cus I just kinda did some shit and went with it this time with a BIT of consideration for muscle structure

[seraphicalsuccubus]

oh no I smoked too much weed and gave myself zoomies both from the excitement from my new peak pro and the excitement from the new weed itself and def smoked way more than I should have and probs will continue to smoke more than I should because of this double dose of excitement until I finally just pass out after days of hardly sleeping recently lmao

but ANYWAYS before that happens !!! I currently have the strongest urge to go wreck people in fucking battlegrounds to level one of my assorted disc priests and because like …. ever since I got 100k honorable kills achieve, I’ve wanted that goddamn fucking ‘the Bloodthirsty’ title from the 250k honorable kills achieve and I was farming that before I stopped having the drive to game a few months back.

so let’s see how queues go at 2am on a fucking Wednesday morning, I wonder if I’ll give up before I find a bracket with fast pvp queues tonight tbh. it’s more likely I’ll end up pugging a raid on my mistweaver main if it takes too long to get into a battleground just to preoccupy myself for a bit and try to get a chance at trinkets and shit lmao

#this is huge tho I haven’t WANTED to game enough to drag my laptop out and play in MONTHS #I logged in for the first time in ages the other day and I had so much fun in my battlegrounds I didn’t even realize we were winning #I was just having a fucking blast being a healer and a menace because I’m playing a disc priest rn of course lmao #and now I want to game again so bad but like mindlessly and bgs are mindless to me I guess??? #like they’re so easy and all muscle memory and hardly take any thought so I think I could function enough to fuck some people up for a bit #or raiding Amirdrassil on LFR or normal. also pretty mindless even when pugging groups and all that. #everything’s usually one shot one kill or like 2 shots per kill max because people learn from their mistakes !!! #but like as a healer I know my shit so it’s just mindless (except for Larodar ((MY BELOVED)) because I LOVE that fight and get super into it #his dialogue is just too fuckin good and the voice??? truly chefs kiss like perfect voice casting #almost as fantastic as Sire Denathrius tbh and that’s like the big vocally satisfying one for me LMAO #this tag rant went on a wild roller coaster what the fuck I am so sorry for anyone who read these #I’m trying to read them back and I can’t even understand my fucking thought process LMFAO

[just-an-enby-lemon]

HC that Chester and Norris also don't kow who Augustus is. Both or one of them might think is Jonah, but they don't really know. They never actually heard Jonah, Is a new voice and even if Jon knew everything once is hard to think inside a computer even less to remember all that information. They are just trapped in barely existence in a Windows NT with someone who might or not be their biggest enemy and if someone were to check the secret notes encrypted in the accient notes app they would find a weird conspiracy board over "who is here with us".

#also would it be soo funy if augustus was ushanka #now i do think it is a version of jonah #tim fearon has been theorized as jonah the moment the cast was announced #and while I can be convinced/trocked into beliving that somehow jonny's and alex's blurred names are actually just chester and norris #there is NO WAY now way I say that Tim's says Augustus but Jonah does match #tmagp #the magnus protocol #chester and norris #my reasons to believe it isn't truly our jon and martin are mostly meta #jonny and alex want to make a work that it's related to magnus but also independent #so that watching protocol without tma will still make sense and be fun and tma fans just get some extra details #and I also believe they expect that the people that go for protocol will want to watch tma at some point #so spoiling tma's ending or making something that it's hard to explain for new fans is not ideal #if it is a new martin and jon or just parts of their existence it makes the process easier #when explaining why are they in there #something that won't spoil tma too much to new fans nor became just a recap ep for older fans

[jays-therapist]

I'm gonna be soooo fucking insane when I finally get to see Izumo's arc animated. Literally never gonna shut up about it. Dicing up every frame like they're nice tasty meals for my eyes to feast on. THE MOMENT i get THIS SCENE in motion--

--I will ascend past this mortal body, into a higher plane of existence. Gonna post ten rants about it each day and none of them will be coherent. God. Fuck.

#she's my everything #truly madly deeply #her arc was the first time I actually shed tears reading the manga I just can’t wait to see it animated #reading “I loved them” felt like such a punch in the gut I had to put the fucking manga down. I felt what she was feeling in that moment #The sudden realization that she had loved them even when she thought she had killed the part of herself that could do so. #even when she hated them too. She still loved them so much #but she can't even fully process that in this situation. She thinks she's going to die. #GOD. COME JANUARY I WILL BE THE MOST ANNOYING MF IN THE WORLD #izumo kamiki #blue exorcist

[taeyungie]

😺

#i haven't addressed yoongi's situation yet because i'm honestly still not hit by it i guess. like it didnt gwt to me yet #i dont think ill ever love anyone the same as i love him you know what i mean #he has been the first reason of my self development. like he literally raised me??? i learned from him how to be the person i am today #and its like im saying goodbye to a family member. the thing is i have never griefed anyone's absence like this #its like a part of my soul will be missing until he comes back #but at the same time i know what he would want for me. to move on and to become my own reason #he would want me to be kind to myself. to focus on myself and not miss him that much. #he would want that for all of us right #but i have a very hard time processing things. do you guys remeber the festa last year? when we found out theyll be going on hiatus #the reality of it snd the fact that it will be happening hit me onky after around 3 months. #thats when i first cried because i realized what it meant. ofc i knew but it didnt occur to the emotional part of my brain at that time #and i feel like im truly gonna fall apart when THIS hits me in 3 months lol #my life has never been worse and thats honestly the time when i need the reassurance the most #when i need the people i love and find comfort in the most. #but its just me and thats technically just my problem. but since i am talking about my view on this then thats okay i guess hahah anyway #i just hope he knows there are milions of ppl who love him as much as i do. and thats like extra love like forever & beyond type of shit #i honestly dont think other people ever truly fully understand how we feel towards them. especially when you really love somebody #because they have their own opinions about themselves. they debate whether they deserve some kind of treatment or not. we all do that right #and i just know he does that too. i just reslly want him to feel completely loved and cherished and appreciated. #i want him to see himself through our eyes. to surround himself with people who see him exactly the way we do. #to fall in love with somebody who will see him like we see him #nobody deserves better life than this man. and i hope that after our reunion he will live that life to the fullest 💓 i can't wait to see it #anyway. if somebody needs to talk about it or wants to get sadness out of your system - im here 💓 #please keep your heads up and lets wait for him 💓 #we have esch other and we will be okay 💓 #sorry for typos i can barely see its 1am 🤓

[crossbackpoke-check]

Hello, im wehaveagathering from my main blog, im kind of obsessed with your hockey poetry edits and I think your blog is great! I guess I kind of have a dumb question, where do you find the images you use for your edits? Did you say Getty in your tags?? I’ve gotten into making icons recently (and i have ideas for poetry edits hrrrghhh) but it’s hard to find high res images. Thanks for your time and I hope you have a nice day :)

first of all thank you so much 🥹 and second that’s absolutely not a dumb question!! i do pull a lot of images from getty and i’ll also download pictures from sports articles (i got a lot of the hugheses pictures from online access articles, for example), or sometimes from instagram/facebook/twitter if an account is public. freely admitting that i am not technologically advanced? inclined? in the slightest here, but the image editing software that you use and how you import/export photos with it makes a difference in the quality of them as well!

if you haven’t seen them yet, i would also recommend checking out @simmyfrobby @national-hockey-lesbian @hauntedppgpaints @tapedsleeves @starscelly and @captainbradmarchand’s blogs just off the top of my head!!! they might know more places to get high res images and also i love their work 💕🫶

#sorry can’t type hands all butterfly hearts i’m just out here like 🥰🥰🥰🥹🥹🥹😭😭😭💕💕💕 #@ everyone i tagged ty i love you i hope you don’t mind the tag 😘 also i KNOW i am unintentionally forgetting people so tag them at will #forgive me i am eepy. we are running on <4 hours of sleep and over 18 hours awake 🫡 #liv in the replies #join the club!!! join the club!!!!! we love the hockey poetry edits!!!!!! i’m so excited to see what you create!!!!! :))))) #the process of me finding images is very much like. either i have a vision in my head and i troll getty looking for it or my screenshots #if i know i have one l m a o but either way i am always 68 pages deep in a hyper specific search labeling my photos like ‘ohHHH buddy’ #‘menace 1 abd 2’ ‘but he’s not a cup winner’ ‘ohhhh the nolpat media scrums are rich earth’ #‘because WILLY WON’T CUT HIS HAIR’ ‘deJA FUCKIN MILK BAYBE’ ‘is it truly sn edit if u don’t find a devastating baby pic’ ‘yes MF last line’ #and so forth. like. glad it’s comprehensible to ME but if anyone else ever tried to use these photos based on file name alone i am so sorry #also i forget that y’all can’t see all of the metadata notes on photos to know where they’re from :/ i gotta be better abt making it clear #also on the note about image quality i just need to state for the record i am so photoshop whatever illiterate. #i learn one (1) new trick on GIMP a year maybe two if i am lucky & no i have never figured out consistent sizing 🫡 but the one hack for res #i HAVE figured out is that when i do edits i usually make a whole doc w/the poem lined up on it (helps me keep somewhat consistent sizing) #and then i export that document as a pdf and edit the pdf in the software instead of trying to screencap or jpeg or anything. PDF quality > #that is probably so convoluted lol if anyone has tips please lmk i am always learning #ANYWAY. rambling u did not ask for but is inherent to Me. #have a great day too!!!!! you literally made mine so 💕😭 #wehaveagathering #indecisor

[polkadotpatterson]

okeydoke as I have not had much energy for working on stuff lately (but lots of motivation) I'm not gonna do proper NaNo with a wordcount or anything, BUT I am gonna make it a goal to get some amount of work done on a writing project every day (at least until I go away on the 24th). Main priority blaseball projects are, in no particular order:

Fic about the ending

Abner fic

Simon's Quest

secret fic(s) :)

get the Talkers exchange set up

Aside from that, I've been poking at more non-blaseball stuff, which is a good excuse for me to plug my writing blog @cyndakip! All my fics get posted there, so if you're interested in my writing beyond just blaseball (especially if you like pokemon), I recommend following me there, since I don't post non-blaseball fics here.

#I'm in a weird place rn where the end of blb is coinciding with me finally feeling ready to get back to nuzlockes #and I very much want to keep writing blb fics! it's just complicated by me getting smacked over the head with pokemon motivation #and separate from that I think it's just been hard for me to work on blb fics knowing that it's over #writing the ending fic in particular means confronting that. and I definitely haven't fully processed it yet and idk when I will #I really truly do want to keep writing blb fics for a long time but I worry there will be not much of an audience anymore #and I know that doesn't matter. I'm gonna write what I want and I know some people will still read it. but yknow. it's rough #also my relationship with pokemon and the nuzlocke community has been really fucking complicated these past few years #to the point where I stopped engaging altogether bc it was stressing me out too much and I had lost all confidence in my writing #this happened to be right before I got into blb. which came along at the perfect time and gave me the community & confidence boost I needed #now it kinda feels like we've come full circle. blb has changed me and now I'm ready to go back with a whole new attitude #I just don't want these two things to be mutually exclusive! I want both! but that's easier said than done #especially bc I haven't had enough energy to work on much of either lately! I want to say things are getting better on that front but #it's complicated. you know how it is with human bodies. treacherous things #the thing is I don't want to waste this. I feel ready for pokemon again and god I missed it and I'm gonna ride this wave of motivation #if I had more energy this would be less of a problem. ah well #gonna get all this done sooner or later #talking moistly

[ashorterurl]

.

#holy shit i hate the fb groups so much #like do NOT tell people dont speculate as if its something bad #we're left with nothing but speculation #you wake up one day and they tell you good morning btw this person is gone anyway bye #and youre just supposed to say ah ok i see thay sucks #?? #obviously the friends and family sre a priority and its way too early to tell the fans anything #but i hava the right to wonder why and how and like. why #it's a natural response to seek closure #and you have a bunch of people who are like oooohhh you can't speculate thats baaaad if friends and family want to share at some point they #will #like shut up dude #i dont claim we have a right to know about what happened because we really dont and this is truly up to the people close to him #and in the end if they want they can also lie #but we do have the right to wonder why something like this happened so suddenly wnd out of nowhere #ranting because i hate it when people tell you it's unethical to ask questions about something even if its just thinking out loud #as an emotional response #like how the fuck do you guys think I'll process this #with this dry and vague announcement #if it works for you great but for me it doesnt really #i know because its been 3h now and im still waiting for them to maybe say something more about it #logically its not going to happen so soon but still

[dutybcrne]

Both Halfdan and Rethel have times where the Curse gnaws at their minds and starts pulling them into the same headspace as they had as Husks. Sometimes it's something small like memory problems or zoning out, sometimes they find themselves partially transforming and/or growing aggressive the way they would have with most any unlucky lost soul stumbling upon them in the Chasm.

#hc; halfdan #hc; rethel #//Heightened emotions tends to hasten/worsen these effects #//There are several times where gaps in their memories leave them so stressed it ends up with them shifting back to those forms #//And it is NOT recommendable to approach them in such states #//They WILL lash out thinking they're being attacked #//Halfdan has it slightly easier than Rethel; since he's lucky to have a Vision #//Rethel was shifted back due to Abyss Order's intervention #//So it's easier for her to succumb to it #//There are times they get EXTREMELY claustrophobic; sent into a panic within a certain space or around many others #//Rethel in particular can hardly stand being in crowds for very long before she starts feeling the urge to transform #//As if to hide in that headspace and let whatever her Husk's instincts drive her to do happen #//Will not feel too much remorse once she gets back to herself. Just a 'it was either them or me; and I choose me' & compartmentalize it #//For Halfdan; that happens when he finds himself in the dark & feels trapped in it; transforms to avoid dealing with his severe fear #//And woe betide anybody who runs into him in that state; he will NOT be merciful #//Best to carefully let him ride out the feeling and--carefully--work to change the conditions of the place #//Lighting candles; opening windows--sneak around to do so; bc if he catches you while in That state- #//The best solution is to calm them down/remove them from those situations BEFORE they've transformed #//It's the safest means to help them and will prevent the next time from being worse in the process #//Halfdan constantly has a Crisis abt if this means he is truly more monster than man; with how easily he transforms back into his Husk self #//Rethel has fully embraced she no longer is human; is prolly a monster now; but would strive to do no harm

[magnusmodig]

rough childhood headcanon qs / @clxscdeyes / no longer accepting !

╰┈➤ 7 . how old was your muse when they realized they had childhood trauma?

||. one whole "today years old" post!ragnarok and hela's reveal. Except, even then, according to the movie, not really because Thor is still in heavy denial about all of it where Odin is concerned. I've spoken a bit (here) about how Thor adores his family; he idolizes them and views them through blinding rose-colored glasses, (especially when they're deceased) and that is especially true of his circumstances.

So, very often times when the truth clashes with the rose-colored view of them (namely: his father), Thor does one of two things: find a way to justify the words or action with the surrounding context of the time to make it make sense (e.g., well he scolded me harshly because i was talking back), or avoid it altogether. (this is his go-to. no talking about it; thor would rather not right now, so he does not.)

Key example being: he would rather focus on how his father changed his ways, and the Odin that he knew and grew up with was a man who had turned away from pursuing war for war's sake, and was instead one who valued peace and life. He would rather focus on that aspect of Odin, and take in the broader picture of Odin's life. REGARDLESS of the fact that what Thor is deeply, personally affected - not with the realization that Odin changed his ways once upon a time - but by the fact that he lied to him, manipulated him, and controlled and shaped every aspect of his being, for Thor's whole life, JUST to avoid another Hela. Someone who Thor is not, could not be farther from, and never knew about, because Odin (apparently) kept the matter of his true first-born a closely-guarded secret and seemingly would have continued to were it not for Odin's death, Hela's escape, and Ragnarok all coinciding at the same moment in time. And this, all because Thor rationalizes it as "well, I wouldn't want to be remembered and judged based on the person that I used to be. I should extend that same kindness to my father, because he too, changed." (x10 because now Odin is dead. And it's in poor-taste to speak ill of a dead man.)

The problem namely being: Thor only talks about things when Thor decides it's time to talk about things ; when he is ready. ...but as this is a topic that ripple effects down to Thor's core, good luck getting him to open up about it, even just with himself.

#(yknow what sucks most about this is that 2011-2015 thor was on a trajectory where) #(while he still wouldn't talk about a lot of things he wasn't as firmly rooted in /absolute denial/ like he is now >>) #(he would lock up and not talk about his personal feelings but he was still /thinking/ about them) #(- and could grow ready to share his thoughts once he processed through all of it.) #(or at least he would broach the broad concepts while still lightly brushing over 'k but how did it make THOR feel') #(dude would rather choke than talk about his own feelings no support system for thor he's so dumb) #(which is also just so funny because he never /denied/ the fact that he's feeling under the weather either) #(he just... won't elaborate on why he is or how to feel better.) #(but anyways) #(to rationalize the trajectory shift away from 'thor being able to talk about deeply upsetting topics for him even if it's uncomfortable') #(i've decided that so much has happened in such a short amount of time and there's /so/ many things eating at him-) #(-that he's subconsciously decided he's not going to talk much about any of them. because there's just too much.) #(the vibe of 'if i talk about this now i'm going to fall and if i fall i don't know if i can get up again because it's finally too heavy) #(-and i can't afford to fall down bc there's too much at stake outside of me so i just will not take the chance') #(he can if he's ever with someone he truly trusts and he can speak about it NORMALLY if that person pushes him enough) #(because you've always had to needle thor to /actually answer your question/ rather than talk half-way around it) #(//stares at thor 2011 where he never opens up to jane even once not even at the fire-side chat) #(but until then it's big denial mode bc ragnarok messed him up something fierce and i'm not even talking about-) #(-the order of in-universe events that happen in the movie orz) #( ooc . ) — stories that leap from the page . #( answered . ) — black feathers fall to a raven's call . #clxscdeyes #( headcanon . ) — glory to the man who toils for his land . may it ever prosper .

[salsa-di-pomodoro]

Alright. Guess the submas tag is still full of angst 👍🏼

#i keep making the same mistake in a feeble attempt to invalidate what my mind throws at me #i get to be upset over a whole new thing instead 🎉🤸 #its either that or im far too sensible to anything that could have an even vaguely negative connotation #like man its gotten so bad that i literally cant handle angst if it doesn't have an immediate happy ending or the promise of one #and i see a piece of angst and end up thinking about it all day in an attempt to imagine a way that could end in it being resolved #and then try and convince myself that it is the only reasonable conclusion #like come on brain. i just want to think about them building a train lego set as a re-bonding activity post hisui #why you gotta give me all this angst :( #.wait is this an ocd moment #or is it something else. guys anyone have the same experience oh my god? #should i tell my therapist my thought process... #personal #am i putting this in the tag. i am putting this in the tag #submas #i just want the certainty that he gets home and both he and emmet have a good time after is that truly too much to ask gamefreak #i dont even care if theyre changed over the years or not i just want them to be happy with themselves and each other. vibing together

[leporidaisical]

this is my entry to Vgen's February contest, themed love.

it is also, somehow, the first time I'm uploading Live2D art to tumblr, despite that having been what i've spent a good chunk of my free time doing for the last year. I really need to get better at posting my WIPs (and also finishing my WIPs)

#my art #vtube model #contrary to most of my i-have-a-billion-wips-and-nothing-finished art phases #my issue with live2d rigging is i enjoy it too much #normally the problem is i hate the process so i never finish anything #(looks at anything heavily rendered i've ever attempted) #but with rigging the issue is i always want to keep going #so nothing ever feels finished #and by the time i get 99% there i have 12 more ideas that i want to move onto #i'm only uploading this one because there's a deadline #anyway every time i disappear from this blog it's probably Live2d's fault lmao #got sucked into a project or five that i'm never going to truly finish #Youtube