#and it’s not even bad like tumblr was my introduction to a lot of social justice terms and ideas but if u stop

[tauon07]

hate matthew mullenwanker? you should join the fediverse, NOW!

the fediverse is totally awesome. it's a magical system, sort of like email, meaning anyone on different websites can talk to each other, seamlessly! (usually seamlessly. sort of. kinda.)

there are a ton of awesome websites (known as instances) you can join! if you don't like one, that's fine, because the magic of the fediverse allows you to follow people on all the other ones!

some of my favourite are:

wafrn (short for "we allow female representing nipples") made by our own @gabbomanestamuyloco - it's a tumblr-like social media written in angular. it supports tags with spaces and symbols like tumblr does.

transfem.social (an instance of sharkey, hosted by transfem.org) - it's more like twitter, but so much better! it allows advanced post formatting allowing for animations and custom emojis and even more! it also has emoji reactions on it.

goblin.band - another tumblr-like fedi instance, based on firefish, so it's similar to transfem.social, but it has traditional tumblr features such as notes and reblogging. i think it also has tags with spaces but i'm not fully sure since i've never used it.

wet-dry world - an instance of mastodon, running on a modified software called chuckya. it has emoji reactions too, and it has a cleaner ui theme made by freeplay (but the old one can be turned on in settings). they also have tim sweeney from epic games, and steam from steam (not really)

(there is also the software akkoma, but i don't know any good instances of it, sorry! >w<)

now what?

first, once you've set up your profile, you should make a post using #introduction as a hashtag. just say a little about yourself and what you like. you should also mention that you come from tumblr, people are really nice to tumblr users on fedi.

also, you should understand fedi is different to tumblr. you should do stuff like put alt text on images, and use content warnings on your posts.

next, you should follow some cool people! here are a list of some i know:

follow me if you want, i'm @[email protected]

@gabbomanestamuyloco is @[email protected]

@jv is @[email protected]

@puppygirl-hornyposting2 is @[email protected]

@[email protected] is a shitposter (and really nice person :3) with lots of interesting history

@foone is @[email protected]

@beigely is @[email protected]

@[email protected] is my bestie and she would really appreciate more followers i think :3

there are lots of other cool people you will see quickly once you start interacting with people :3

maybe this is just me, but after i joined fedi i started noticing a lot more "mastodon" or fedi links on peoples' websites, so i found a lot of cool accounts that way. keep an eye out!

i hope you have fun with your new knowledge about the other places out there, just a few clicks away. :3

also this is my first long tumblr post sorry if it's bad >w<

#tauon.rtf #fediverse #mastodon #wafrn #goblin band

[hamyilton]

Thinking about that Verstappen post I reblogged earlier, it’s interesting to me that on a site that’s very liberal and left-leaning, where racist or other bigoted beliefs are typically shut down right away, that so many people here are fans of MV. I’ve done some thinking on it and I believe his fans fall into these types of groups:

1.Max fans who were fans well before 2020 and formed strong emotional attachments (as he had never said anything outright offensive before this time, and ignoring the incident with Ocon). I believe that having to admit you liked Max before he did and said these shitty things and thus having to craft a whole new blog is simply too much of a task for people, and these are likely people that are big proponents of the fandom characterizations of Max that ignore his real personality and actions. So, these people are aware of his shitty actions but ignore it for the purposes of fandom.

2. People who were fans of his before 2020 and know about his actions but just don’t care, I guess to them racism and ableism are excusable if you really like someone/think they’re hot.

3. Fans that do not know the shitty things that Max has done and are truly ignorant. These are most likely people who started watching F1 after 2022 as I feel like it would be hard to watch the 2021 season without being aware of the controversies lol. They think people only dislike Max because of his domination and are also riding on the back of the popularity of lestappen which was (at least how it seems on Tiktok) a lot of peoples introduction to F1 fandom.

This has been sitting with me for a while, trying to reconcile how people could support someone who’s said racist things (including that he did not believe in BLM when Lewis approached him about support, disrespected Lewis’ father, refused to name him in interviews, drove recklessly like Monza 2021, and the use of slurs etc.) with the larger liberal and social justice oriented Tumblr community. Like, I do genuinely feel bad for people that liked Max in the time before he actively said and did more shitty things, but like, if you can really support someone who behaves so awfully and can be a real danger on track, I don’t believe you can call yourself a true advocate for equality and fairness. And I haven’t even mentioned Abu Dhabi 2021 yet but the fact that it’s remembered now as “drama” instead of one of the most egregious examples of a championship being manipulated against the sport’s only Black driver…like it makes me fucking sick to my stomach. So many people quit watching F1 because of that and I really don’t blame them because it showed the complete lack of integrity of the sport itself.

Anyway, this is something I’ve been thinking about for a while now considering I’ve had to block what feels like a hundred MV fans because it’s so upsetting to see. And to see people write Lewis/Max fanfiction it feels like I’m living in an alternate reality because how can people not know??

Anyway rant over.

#been sitting on this one for a while #f1 #I won’t tag anyone specific #me

[waitmyturtles]

Turtles Catches Up With the Essential BLs: Bad Buddy Edition

[The Reasons and Gratitude: While QL has exploded in volume over the last half-decade, I’ve been juggling a career with making and feeding babies. Now that my kids are bigger, I’m catching up on the essential QL dramas. Big ups to @absolutebl’s encyclopedic lists that I use for reference, as well as the recommendations of many dear mutuals. For the Bad Buddy recommendation, I thank my forever darling, @the-nihongo-adventure! Thank you for reading my reviews of shows you’ve already watched! REALLY LONG POST COMING: caveat emptor.]

I’ve been thinking for days on how I should start this review. Bad Buddy has waylaid me with an emotional brutality (in a good way!) that I haven’t been able to shake for weeks. Couple that with a speedy education in the ways of Aof Noppharnach through Moonlight Chicken, and well, my middle-aged heart has taken a lot.

Before I dive in, I’d like to quickly cite the amazing @emotionallychargedtowel, who referenced Murray Bowen’s family systems theory in a post about pursuer-distancer couplings. Family systems theory posits that human behavior is shaped by the structure of the family unit as a complex social system. In other words: through spoken, unspoken, assumed, and expected demands, instincts, boundaries, and pulls/pushes, humans as individuals are conditioned to interact in society vis à vis how they learned to interact with others through their familial upbringings.

Why do I bring this up in regards to Bad Buddy? I haven’t even begun to plummet the sheer depth of analysis about BBS on Tumblr (I’m deeply impressed by the volumes of analysis by my new dear mutual, @telomeke-bbs, whose posts served as wonderful references while I was watching the show), so if I’m repeating popular analysis, I apologize. 

But for me, BBS was rooted first and foremost in a study of intergenerational trauma, and how our two UNBELIEVABLE protagonists, Pran and Pat, battled expected roles and boundaries from their families/family systems and friends to end up together. 

I know now, through Moonlight Chicken, that Aof is an utter master at layering themes together. To be honest, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like it.

And I want to say upfront that while I want to be an objective reviewer of this show, I absolutely cannot be. While I’m thinking about Aof’s mastery of studying intergenerational trauma through the lens of a QL drama, my heart aches, in passionate subjectivity, about how important his work is for young Asians watching it. I only can wish, as a first-generation child of immigrants from South and Southeast Asia, that I had been able to watch these shows when I was growing up. If I had seen Asians making shows about intergenerational trauma through an Asian lens, about very progressive topics like same-sex relationships in Asia -- I would have known that there was a world of support and shared experiences for the kind of intergenerational trauma that I and my friends faced, when we all were growing up, Asian in America and elsewhere. 

This was a terribly long introduction to say that while many other themes percolated throughout Bad Buddy (in typical Aof fashion, as I’m now understanding), including school dynamics, Thai queer culture, unrequited love, familial acceptance of same-sex relationships, and more -- that for me, in a very biased way, I HAD to see this show through the lens of intergenerational trauma. This show helped me to have hope that generations of continental and diasporic Asians will be better able to fend off these pressures through the medium of drama art.

So. My thoughts on Bad Buddy are rooted in a lens of intergenerational trauma. But what I also picked up on, vis à vis the boundaries I mentioned earlier emanating out of families as complex social systems -- is that Aof threw in a little (actually a lot) of David Hegel’s thesis-antithesis-synthesis framework as well. This framework allows for the criss-crossing of boundaries to come to a unified resolution -- and good lord, Bad Buddy came to that conclusion so INCREDIBLY well. The Hegelian framework was the means by which, I think, Aof could explore tearing down the deep-rooted effects of intergenerational trauma on the Asian society depicted in BBS.

Throughout the entire show, Pran and Pat danced around boundaries. At least at the start of the show, they never dared to cross the line between the two garbage bins in the front of their houses. These boundaries had been CREATED by Pran’s and Pat’s parents. And the boys were taught from birth -- you cross that line, and bad things will happen. Don’t play with the boy next door. Don’t fall for the kids next door. So: don’t get caught in front of us.

But Pat and Pran crossed the boundaries BEHIND their houses, BEHIND the VERY watchful eyes of their families, starting at a young age, and keeping that boundary-breaking a secret. Pran crossed a significant boundary by saving Pa from drowning. 

But then they went to the same university, and new boundaries formed, between their arch-rival faculties. Pat sees that pressure and acts within it, defending his engineering homies against Pran’s architecture friends. 

We saw in the first episode that it would be Pat’s family that would be the first to begin breaking those boundaries as adults -- but it wasn’t Pat who began that work. It was Pa.

I’ve always found it interesting that it’s younger siblings who often have the “easiest” time breaking hard-set boundaries and family codes. I know, because I count in that category (and I know this is an overgeneralization, but just roll with me for a sec). Younger siblings see the shit their older counterparts -- parents, sibs, whoever -- create and deal with. And younger sibs then can develop better ways of managing the pressures that come from that shit. Myself included, I’ve often seen younger sibs be the first ones to marry in family units, to have children, to get jobs, to move away from home, etc. Younger siblings often have the ability to say NO more easily than their older family members. It’s, I think, a natural occurrence to take place in a family system of multiple siblings.

So it’s Pa who says to Pat: promise me you won’t hurt Pran. Right off the bat, she asks for a breaking of a boundary that Pat, his parents, and the engineering faculty homies want to uphold. And Pat, being devoted to his sister, agrees to the promise -- and the whole confused dance between him and Pran as adults begins.

I LOVED this. The show needed an immediate impetus to break what could have been a groaning, stereotypical Romeo-and-Romeo paradigm. This wasn’t going to end in mutual suicide -- hell no, not in a Thai BL. This drama needed to go places. As well, for me, I think Pa was set up to be an indirect foil to the pressures that Pran faces later in the series, simply by way of BEING in the form of a younger sibling.

The repeated theme during the first few episodes that I latched onto was Pran saying to Pat, “things don’t end well when I’m close to you.” In episode 1, Pat retorts -- “at least you won’t get transferred this time around.” In episode 4, Pran repeats himself, and guess what happens? He sees Pat with Ink, and experiences the repeated trauma of unintentional rejection at the hands of Pat. 

So, Pran feels like he’s learning his lesson, time and time again. He’s thinking -- I like Pat, I can’t help but like Pat. But my parents might be right. Bad things happen when this dude is around. My heart gets broken.

What’s the difference between Pran and Pat here? Pat can exist more carefree, open, instinctual. He can like people more openly. He can be honest with his feelings. WHY? Because he had a family support system while he was growing up that allowed him to take risks -- because he had a sibling, because he was the eldest son -- because he knew, through his family structure, that despite his behavior, that his family would be there for him. He was simply raised differently, in part because his family was slightly bigger, and his family had LESS to lose if they potentially lost Pat to a lifetime of disapproval. Pat can take risks, because he’ll still have Pa, even if he loses his parents.

When I think about Pran, through the lens of intergenerational trauma, I go back to the family systems theory. While I was talking about younger siblings earlier, Pran’s a totally different story. He’s an only child. He IS the BRUNT of the familial pressure to conform to everything his family wants him to be. He was raised that way, and no one can help it, if the family unit is a triad. If Pran disappears from his family because of their disapproval -- not only do they NOT have a son, but Pran HIMSELF doesn’t have a family. He has far more to lose. He feels he can’t take risks.

I am sure there’s reams of analysis about how understandable Pran’s reaction to his first kiss with Pat was. But I took his walk away from Pat to be that recognition. Pran simply could not believe in a future with Pat -- no way. Pran would lose everything he knew. 

Hegel’s framework? This is Pran’s thesis: while I love Pat, I can’t have Pat, because if I have Pat, I’m crossing a boundary that should never be crossed. My world will fall apart. I need to walk away and deny that that kiss ever happened.

And what’s the antithesis here? I think, at this moment in the series, the antithesis IS Pat. It’s Pat’s queer revelation, and his ABILITY to just MOVE on his feelings. In just ONE EPISODE, y’all! In episode 5! SO FAST! (Come AWN, Pat, you WINNER, LOVE YOU.) But that’s Pat for you -- Pat, the antithesis of Pran, the guy who can move, because he has less to lose.

(Let me stop for a sec, stop the analyzing. THAT KISS. THE BEST EVER. NANON! OHM! COME AWN! AAAAHHHH!!!!)

So what does Pat do in episodes 6 and 7? He starts the first SYNTHESIS: he crosses that damn boundary and chases after his man. He goes to the zero-waste village, and -- as SO OFTEN happens in Hegelian thesis-based frameworks -- the guys go to the sea, to the water, to cross the water, to kickstart Pran’s antithesis to his life thesis, and to begin their synthesis together, their connection. (Remember Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse and crossing the river, woop woop!)

Like I said before -- not to be a huge fuckin’ nerd or anything, but whoops, too late -- I think the Hegelian framework allowed Aof to WRITE this script and leverage the familial boundary risks for the sake of the show. Because, as I wrote at length in my review of the Cherry Magic movie, taking these risks from the perspective of the Asian family unit is EEEENOOORMOUS. Legit, fam: Asian families WILL dump children. There is disowning. It happens. It’s KNOWN, in the backs of our minds, BAKED UNCONSCIOUSLY into our understanding of who we are as Asian individuals, that our families might give us up, because many of our families have overtly threatened it. Even if there isn’t active disowning, parents can passively judge you and be disappointed in you for the rest of your life, and you damn well know it.

Overgeneralization? Whatever you think. But I’ve experienced it. My friends have experienced it. Kurosawa knew it when he risks disownment to stay with Adachi in the Cherry Magic movie. I severely risked it when I, like, grew up -- when I wanted to date, to get engaged, to get married. I didn’t talk to certain family members for years. My siblings’ relationships were strained. All because I wasn’t falling in line with my family’s expectations for who I needed to be vis à vis THEIR expectations of me -- to stay home and let them dictate how to live my life (literally, not joking).

Instead of doing a typical Romeo-and-Romeo set-up, I think what Aof was doing here, by way of having Pat step out first to begin the boundary-breaking -- and we know now WHY Pat could do that, because of his family system ALLOWING him to be a person to take more risks -- is that he was demonstrating that positive change could happen, the trauma could be stopped, if the guys created family between each other. AOF IS SAYING: I’M GOING TO PROVE THAT THEY CAN STOP THE TRAUMA TOGETHER. I’m crying right now.

And before I get further, another note about Aof’s brilliance. He allowed us to see HOW COMPLICATED Pran is, before the real boundary breaking began. He allowed us to SEE that Pran COULD MAYBE BE OKAY with taking a risk -- vis à vis Pran’s love for music. God, I was SO STRUCK in the scene when Pran is writing the high school song with Pat in episode 5. 

I think Pran’s not just talking about love here. I think, indirectly, he’s also talking about the risk of riling his family boundaries up.

(I want to note quickly that both Aof and Jojo Phukhaotong really leverage Nanon’s acting beautifully in these moments -- besides this music scene, there was Pran and Wai in the library talking about relationships and the school play, and in Dirty Laundry, Night meditates on music and love to a sleeping Neon. Nanon really nails this unwinding in his acting.)

I think Aof included these scenes of Pran meditating like this, because Pat couldn’t just hold Pran’s hand at the beach and sweep Pran away. That’s not how the Hegelian framework works. You gotta be ready, to be active, you gotta do the WORK, to reach enlightenment. The entire series shows Pran’s journey to acceptance about himself and about the fate he’ll have with Pat. We, as viewers, needed to see Pran be ready to do that. Sure, he has a forever crush on Pat. But we’ve now established the utterly enormous risks he faced -- more so than Pat ever needed to deal with -- if Pran’s family learned about Pran’s feelings, leanings, and ultimate decision to be with Pat.

We needed to hear, verbally, that Pran’s hesitation was real, that he was balancing in a very complicated way, all the risks he needed to consider. Maybe some people got frustrated at the high level of his complicated feelings, but I think the pace and plot made total sense. And, oh god -- the scene at the beach, where they touch hands and imagine a world where their parents aren’t fighting. Oh my god. AAAAAHHHH. Tears. Synthesis, baby, synthesis.

So then. The boundaries between the guys come down. They start getting kee-yoot. The games in episode 7, the help with the play in episode 8. It’s chef’s kiss, y’all. 

But the boundaries come roaring back. The trauma resurfaces. Even while Pran contextualizes to Wai in the library -- “you can’t change the person or the time” when you fall in love -- what also doesn’t change is the world around them. The faculties still hate each other. Pat experiences familial rejection for the first time in his dad’s disappointment about the architecture play. The relationship is revealed. Wai rejects Pran. The seniors reject Pat. 

(FAN BREAK: luv you, Aof, that gratuitous shirtlessness at the xylophone, LOVED IT, ::pointing to Aof::, LOVED IT.) 

But. Episode 9 kicks in. Korn comes thru, MVP. (Yum, satay.) And I see something in Pran, when he approaches Pat at the bench at lunch. 

I see Pran finally, truly, CROSSING HIS OWN LINE. Pran could have PANICKED at the revelation of their relationship to the school. He could have used it as an excuse to chicken out, to back away, again to cite that bad things happen when I get close to you, Pat.

But Pran didn’t do that. He holds Pat down, he steadies Pat. They hold each other down, because -- oh god, my chest is aching here, I’m tearing up -- in that moment, Pran’s recognizing that you need to be there for the family you’ve chosen and made. These are HIS NEW BOUNDARIES -- his new family system and unit. It’s his, and his alone. 

Sure, we see in earlier episodes that part of Pran’s love language is nurturing, through cooking for Pat (and sometimes Pa, too, omg so cute), and that he learned that at the hands of his mother. But I saw something different in that simple scene at the lunch bench, after Pat got rejected by his seniors. I saw Pran’s confirmation that he was going to stick the landing of the synthesis, once and for all. That was when he wasn’t going to use any other excuse, ever again, to walk away from Pat, as others had begun to do to Pat. 

And then we get the last three brilliant, BRILLIANT episodes of this already brilliant series. Let me set this up, because I think the way Aof did this, as yuzh, was incredible:

Episode 10: There are too many things about episode 10 to list in this already enormous post. I may have to write a separate post about how I think episode 10 was one of the greatest single episodes of a drama I’ve ever watched (the penultimate episode of Extraordinary Attorney Woo also comes to mind). 

In any case, the Hegelian framework comes roaring back. We’re nearing the end of the series, and we need to remember as to why we’re here, and how we got to this point. The episode served as a major reminder of Pran’s original thesis -- we learn the reason why the families were at war. We learn that the demands of the separation came from Ming and Dissaya. The boys come out to their folks. The truth of Ming and Dissaya come out. 

We learn that Ming himself is a product of MAJOR INTERGENERATIONAL TRAUMA, from his father, so much so that he fucked up a major opportunity for Dissaya. Trauma on trauma on trauma. (Seriously relatable for almost all Asians with pressurized parents.)

And Pran -- PRAN -- TELLS HIS MOTHER, TO HER FACE, that it was HER traumatizing HIM that led HIM to be the way he IS. At the end of this episode, before he rejoins Pat, he finally confronts his mother, and begins his holistic antithesis for the final time.

The boys come back together at the end of the episode, and weep, and embrace. And Pat says: we’re getting the fuck out of here.

(Now’s a good time to link to a meme on intergenerational trauma that my cousins in SE Asia shared with me around the end of 2021 -- interesting timing that this was floating around the WhatsApps and LINEs of that period.)

Episode 11: Leaving. Antithesis. The sea. Crossing boundaries. Living their lives together.

Oh my god, my aching heart. Pat spending most of the episode insisting that they were going to live together, forever, in the village. The antithesis to their lives in Bangkok. Pran knowing better. Pat knowing it, too.

The fact that until the very last minute, the entire episode was spent in the village, meant SO MUCH TO ME. This episode gave the guys TIME to process THEMSELVES, and their decisions. Oh lord, tears on tears.

And: what did the guys do? THEY COMMITTED TO EACH OTHER. CREATING THEIR FAMILY TOGETHER. They were going to do it THEIR WAY -- and, AND, AND -- BREAK THE CHAIN OF TRAUMA that they both faced, as assigned and influenced by their parents, by leveraging their new family unit TOGETHER. 

And who helped give them that oomph, that power? Who helped them get context to see that that work was WORTH DOING -- even if it wouldn’t end up changing their families? 

Uncle Tong. The boys got to see that through Uncle Tong. 

They got to see that one individual, or two individuals together, can’t change the world. The boys learned, indirectly, that they can’t change the world of their parents. But they can improve THEIR OWN WORLD. 

Episode 12: SYNTHESIS. 

When I was perusing the BBS tags for analysis, something I read piqued my interest: that the boys had to remain closeted to their families and friends.

I wouldn’t call it closeted. Instead, I want to guess what Aof was doing here.

I truly think Aof was showing compassion to the parental generation. It’s not the parents’ faults that they themselves were products of intergenerational trauma (peep the meme from earlier). 

For me -- I’m an adult now, but I still carry the scars of my childhood -- I was disappointed not to see a bigger family resolution during my first watch of episode 12. But after a careful rewatch, I think Aof was being majorly realistic in his writing. These families weren’t going to come together in a finale, let alone in a day, let alone after DECADES of fighting. 

Intergenerational trauma has to stop somewhere if you’re cognizant of it, and Pran and Pat’s parents weren’t cognizant of it. But: the guys certainly were. As we saw in the shots above, Pran himself CALLED OUT his mom for it in episode 10. 

So I think I understand why Aof didn’t make a sparkling, holistically accepting ending out of this, because -- it was unrealistic. Ming and Dissaya still carry THEIR scars, and THEY need time to heal, too. 

Their partners -- Pran’s dad and Pat’s mom -- are more ready for that change. They’re getting slightly caught up in the winds of change. Hell, even Pat’s mom says, “We are the adults” in episode 10 to Ming. Like Pa, Pat’s mom is demonstrating a little gentle nudge towards changing HER boundaries of the situation. 

And the boys stated their stance at the end:

“Just like Uncle Tong said, we can’t change the world. All we could do was adjust to it, and live happily. We might not be able to change the people around us. BUT THEY COULDN’T CHANGE THE TWO OF US, EITHER.” [emphasis mine, obv]

I want to make one very last point that deeply touched my heart, and, I feel, confirms my theory about the boys making a new family unit together, complete with the boundaries of their choosing, and refusing to carry the trauma of their pasts. @telomeke-bbs​ wrote a lovely post, in part, about the meaning of Pran’s liquor gift to Ming. I totally agree with the analysis, and just wanted to add some cultural flavor. 

Being an in-law in an Asian family structure means you show respect to your in-law elders. It’s just an unspoken, natural part of our being (and it helps if you like your in-laws). I’m married to a Westerner, but in many ways, I treat my Western in-laws with the same kind of respect as I would if they were Asian. So that means, I cook generously (they don’t expect me to do it, don’t worry -- I just like doing it, because it makes me feel like we’re family), and I serve up fine-ass cocktails (hell yeah). It’s fun, but it also makes me feel like I’m nurturing my extended family.

Pran gave the liquor gift to Ming, because....Ming is his family. Hey, Ming? Womp womp. You’ve got a son-in-law -- because Pran is taking on that role, despite your best efforts to reject that reality. And I see you, Ming, slowly, slowly, slowly begin to imagine that reality when you took a sip. 

The reality is that when the boys became family to each other, they indirectly adopted each other’s families as their own -- because that’s just what happens in a relationship. And the liquor gift confirmed that. My heart SWELLED when Pran gave the gift to Pat, and I saw the duty-free bags in Pat’s family’s living room. How many times have I seen that scene in my life, when fam came back to visit from overseas -- scores of times. It meant so much. I’m going to bring a piece of overseas back to my family, even if my family, my in-laws, reject me. Maturity, motherfuckas. My man, Pran. Best son-in-law.

Aof took SO MUCH of what Asians expect about how our lives should be lived in this show, and absolutely turned it on its head. His SCRUTINY at what keeps adults back, at how adults raise children -- and about how children can CHANGE PARADIGMS, through love and partnership -- is CRITICAL COMMENTARY for young Asians, and young people around the world.

Oh, man. Do I have any more words? I’m all written out. If you got this far, thank you. This show WILL BE required viewing for my kids when they’re older. I want them to see what intergenerational trauma means to their Asian heritage. I want them to CALL ME and my hubs OUT for it. And I want them to know how they can be so strong, like Pat and Pran, to change the trajectory of their lives for the better. 

*Tagging @bengiyo​ by request. <3

#bad buddy #bad buddy the series #backaof noppharnach #turtles catches up with thai bls #turtles catches up with the essential BLs #nanon korapat #ohm pawat #ohmnanon #intergenerational trauma #intergenerational trauma in asian societies #intergenerational trauma in asian families #david hegel #bad buddy meta #bad buddy the series meta #patpran #pran x pat #pat x pran #pranpat #aof noppharnach

[monggay]

holy fucking shit you guys. um. i came across. a treasure trove. of um, my past self. came across an old group chat w some friends back when i was like, 12-13, and. holy shit.

good news: apparently i did use to be somewhat talkative and not quite as anxious to talk and interact ! i used to be able to carry conversations! not well or inawkwardly but very much plenty! i used to be able to talk and joke around without taking a million psychic damage just trying to send a message and even just saying whats on my mind carefree without being anxious that itll be weird or that they didnt want me to say that or that i didnt have to scramble for words or be unable to come up with quips or anything to reply other than just 'lol' or 'lmao'!! i feel like these days i only know how to talk and word things in a given or meme way aka all my vocabulary is just. tumblr memes.

bad news: holy fucking shit i was so cringe. like. on another level. on levels unimaginable. i was straight up just. weird. you know, horny preteen discovering sex jokes and crude language and sex humor for the first time? straight up had no filter, loved to ramble, except also had zero social sense still and rambled to a weird and overly and uncomfortable degree where it was just awkward and often said things that just. made the conversation weird? i embraced that weirdness and like, good on me i guess, but i think i just usually ended up saying things? blurting anything on my mind, that well. technically arent bad? or seriously fucked up or anything but just like. will probably haunt me for the rest of my life if i look at it now.

also like. i dont remember any of it ??????? i vaguely remember a Few conversations, but a lot of it? just straight up. unfamiliar to me who the fuck is that i dont remember saying any of that shit that past me is so fundamentally different and alien to me i literally dont recognize or remember anything i did then anymore

apparently i was just a giant nerd who read way too much smut and was just a little too unashamed and had very little sense of appropriateness which yeah i get given my age then its that. age of you know. just got exposed to people being vulgar, recently transitioned to high school from elementary, which is probably like. a way more. fucked up thing that people realize sometimes. cause in elementary i always thought i was still like you know. a little kid. but going into high school (which is younger than in US hs, at 12 y/o) youre suddenly treated or like, expected? to be older? more knowleadgeable? you know that thing about how kids these days are all trying to be adults now and how theres really no more media like the disney teenage live shows that separate little girl to grown lady? i think that jut like, hit me a lot in 7-8th grade + the introduction of nsfw shit and fandom and the internet (cause like. i did not have internet in elementary school, At All. and then suddenly in high school i was supposed to have a messenger account for school, i had a phone, i could use the laptop, i think i had a weird relationship w the internet then, cause at that point all my friends were already exploring facebook and posting etc, but i was so anxious and shy about that already that i just never started (which like, continues to today, i still dont use fb at all, cuase it feels so weird and awkward to start now when i was so adamant against not using it in the past) aaaand ive lost my train of thought and the point of this sentence

#might be a little #vent #y #so

[buggywiththefolkmagic]

How to Vet Authors in Witchcraft-The Buggy Way!

So you’ve found an aesthetically pleasing cover for a book in your local New Age section and you want to know if they’re worth that $25 price tag? You’ve come to the right place! Vetting witchcraft books can be super tricky...especially if you don’t know what to look for! 

My process for vetting is pretty simple, but it covers enough bases to see if it might be something to glance at. 

Look at who endorses the book! Who has raved about it? Do you know anything about that person? For example when looking at a folk magic book with an introduction from Starr Casas I immediately know there might be some Hoodoo appropriation involved because that’s what she is known for! Having an idea of who the ‘big bads’ are in the type of magic you’re looking at helps considerably. 

If the first step isn’t applicable...then I always go to Amazon, Goodreads, Tumblr, etc and look up reviews for the book and author! If there’s even one negative review I read it first then go to the rest. 

I look for ‘trigger words’ in reviews or just by flipping pages of the book itself. Words such as (for what I want to avoid in a book): Kabbalah, mixing together wicca and witchcraft as the same thing, sour jars, smudging, totems, white sage, starseed or indigo children, honey jars, voodoo dolls, shifting, claiming magic can cure illnesses like epilepsy or cancer, having ‘control’ over a deity, can cause cataclysms like hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes, etc. Astral Projection being for beginners, not suggesting cleansing/protection methods, Atlantian races, ‘sacred feminine’ without the opposite/masculine.

Check the authors social medias/websites! I can’t stress how easy it is to spot someone using hoodoo work like honey jars or (specific) cow tongue bindings when they post all their spellwork on their insta or website. 

Do they have a shop? Check out what the shop sells and where it’s located! A lot of Hoodoo and Vodun appropriators have French Quarter ‘conjure’ shops.

Check their bibliography! Is it decently sized for the amount of pages the book has? Does it seem small? Who have they referenced? Is it someone on your personal no-no list? (A decent bibliography for say a well-researched 300 page book would be about 10-15 pages minimum. A lackluster one would be say 5 pages or less.)

Of those references used in the bibliography...are any of them major problematic individuals? Have they referenced the Frosts? Or other big no-nos? If not, you might be good!

If it’s a small bibliography, flip through and see if any of the information sticks out as UPG (unverified personal gnosis) which means things they can’t verify as accurate? If so it might not be the book you need! (Unless you are looking for personal accounts of something.)

Is the author associated with controversy in other areas? A quick google of “Author name controversy” will likely pull up some results if so. Check over the author’s stances on important matters like race, religion, etc if applicable via their social medias. 

And there you have it! My quick and easy, google-able vetting process that when mastered only takes a few minutes while standing in a bookstore instead of wasting money on books that don't suit what information you are looking for! It isn't foolproof, but it should help you avoid some of the bigger let-downs.

#witchcraft #witchblr #vetting process #Felt like sharing hope this helps! #witchcraft books #How to not waste money

[kidovna]

Hi! I’ve been following you and your art for a few years now, probably since right before the simonverse era. I wanted to say that it has been the coolest thing watching your art grow over these years. You’re the artist who I originally looked at and thought… it is so cool that this artist is able to think of something and execute it, you were honestly my introduction to the depth of fanart. I had always done art, mostly traditional portraits but when I found you I became enthralled in the idea of digital art and its potential. In 2021 I was lucky enough to save up and invest in an iPad and I’ve been drawing on it ever since. Your work inspires me everyday. I’ve seen the intricacies and details, nuance, passion and love you put into whoever and whatever you draw and its contagious. No one has ever motivated or inspired me to keep drawing the way you have. I’m not afraid to try new things, and adapt stylistically because I’ve watched you do it for years. I’m not afraid to post what and who I want and to be geeky and giddy about it. I’m highly neurodivergent but you’re always so kind and open to talk to-I think even if you’re tired of the rambles. The amount I’ve grown as an artist is I mean this so genuinely-thanks to you. Please remember you deserve the best and to focus on yourself and what you love. Don’t be afraid to post what or who you want, or to try new things even if social media says otherwise. You’re one person but you’re genuinely changing a lot of hearts. Take breaks and don’t feel bad. You’re so loved. I cant convey how grateful I am and I’m sure so many other people are to have had the opportunity to grow with you and work with you and fall in love with your work over and over again.

Love a mutual who is way too shy to say this directly to you🩶

i woke up today overwhelmed and anxious as i have been for the past few days and opened tumblr to this message. i may or may not have teared up a little.

thank you so, so much for taking the time to send me this message. having known that i could make an impact like this has truly left me speechless. thank you also for all the support and love

i totally get the shy part (i’ve sent my fair share of anonymous asks excited about someone’s work) but if someday you’d like to share your art with me, my DMs are open! i hope you have the loveliest week ever and that your journey as an artist brings you many many pleasant surprises <3

#anonymous #this was such a nice ask i feel like my reply was pretty subpar #but please know that i’m SO grateful and i’m sending lots of good energy your way! #the stuff you said in this ask is how i felt about burdge-bug and viria growing up #so this is surreal to me

[sagemoor]

#occultea response

This is super long, I apologise! I've decided to use this platform to talk about this, even though I haven't really used it in 6 years, because I feel like tumblr is the first place I was introduced to witchcraft social media on. And also, my only other media besides discord is personal and not witchcraft-related. Introduction I'm Tea, and I am a green and folk witch who has lived in and practiced the folk magic of America, Scotland, and Ireland. I have been practicing witchcraft for about 10 years (I am 25, despite what my bio says). I also am a moderator of a large online witchcraft discord, and that is what most of my answers here will be based on. I will also include here that I am a PhD candidate in plant sciences, close to finishing - I think this is relevant because a lot of my expertise and access to research (even like, JSTOR articles on witchcraft) is enabled and encouraged by my entrenchment in academia.

Topic 1 I share my practice online for community. I thankfully now live in a place where the in-person witchcraft community is pretty great, but I lived in small cities and areas where most witchcraft discussions centered around Wicca (which I have never been interested in as a path for myself). I started sharing here first on an account that was accidentally deleted in 2017 but I moved to discord a couple of years ago and really found (and then started another) community there. I have never wanted to teach but rather just wanted a serious space where I could discuss what books I was reading mainly. I think community is great at introducing me/you to new things and furthering my/your craft, and that is what I hope to accomplish by sharing my own craft. I think social media has impacted the community in a lot of ways, both good and bad. I honestly think it depends on the space in which the community operates - I will not pretend the discord I mod is perfect, but I also think a lot of other witchcraft discords I have been in can run a little rampant in misinformation found on witchtok, tumblr, etc.. I'm sure we have some too, because it's super hard to weed out when crafts are so personal. I think one of the biggest things is the spread of misinformation seems to have exploded with the explosion of short form content. There is just no nuance in any short form content, witchcraft or no. And with UPG this gets even more complicated. The only way I find I am able to combat misinformation anywhere is to not accept anything I see as fact, until I have either tried it for myself, or if it is verifiable from other sources (which a lot of my practice is - if I find folklore repeated in many books which are well sourced, I take that as good info). But I definitely struggle with knowing when someone is speaking in UPG terms or in folkloric terms especially when it comes to deities. For content creators, I do really think it is important to distinguish what is UPG and what may not be.

I also think there is an issue with people exaggerating experiences that they've had to get views / attention / whatever, and that can lead a lot of people who are beginning and can't recognize exaggerations feeling inadequate. I think with experience people begin to realise that certain claims are ridiculous, and it no longer bothers them (it no longer bothers me), but that can be a hard lesson learned. Social media allows people to compare themselves to others and can lead to overconsumption, which I won't say a ton about because I feel like this is covered a lot. I think witchcraft requires a degree of skepticism, and it may take a while for newer witches (and even some who have been practicing a while) to develop the skills needed in sorting out good information from bad information. But! There are also a lot of communities which dispel misinformation, exaggerated claims, and the like. Thankfully, I feel like these communities which are 'serious' witchcraft communities are starting to be a little more well-regarded than the areas which aren't as discerning. With discussions like these, and big creators talking about it, I think more and more awareness will spread and will prevent people from taking advantage.

And social media introduces a lot more people to the space, to know that it's even a thing that they may be able to approach. I found witchcraft here, when someone posted an aesthetic graphic of the Green Witch by Murphy-Hiscock that made it's way onto my feed. I read it, and resonated with what I read. My craft has developed since then, and I may have found witchcraft some other way eventually, but there really is this amazing reach that has helped so many people find what path was for them. I think defining witch vs new ager vs pagan is a whole other issue (one for another time) but honestly, how am I affected by you calling yourself a witch if you don't fit into my definition? I'm not. I think that will be another challenge for the community in the coming years - accepting that your definitions and practice do not rule other people's. But I digress.

In terms of consumption of media replacing practice, I definitely think it can. It's not something I personally struggle with, as I cast spells when I need to and don't consume a huge amount of witchcraft content outside of discord, but I definitely did when I was younger and living with parents who weren't witches. I mean, we have the term 'armchair witchcraft' for a reason - it definitely exists. I said earlier I had been practicing for about ten years, and when I typed it I knew I would address here that I have been practicing seriously for about six or seven. Moving into my own space allowed me to start practicing the way I wanted to. I still consume a lot of content in the way of books, but as time has passed my reading preferences are less spellbooks and more historical accounts.

Topic 2 I am not an influencer but what I share on discord is minimal (I don't share spirit workings besides showing herbs, deity workings, and many of my spells) but it is authentic. I don't really have the resources to post anything that isn't authentic if I am including a picture. I am more liable to post recipes with plant correspondences connected, or a list of folklore associated with a particular plant I am working on. If I do share a picture, I may include a list of spell components, but I never share what I did with them if that makes sense (like only sharing the ingredients of a recipe but not cooking instructions). Everything else feels too private to me.

I'm only affected by censorship by having things of certain topics like domination magic, blood magic, etc., behind an 18+ wall on the server. This is done because adults who are posting that info don't want to be sharing it with minors, which is the correct take! People will find things online anyway, but that doesn't mean it has to be through us.

I've definitely seen grifters in the community. Mainly here or spamming DMs on discord or instagram. I don't think this is a spicy take, but anyone trying to sell you something that isn't tangible (like selling a spirit) seems too risky to me, and not to mention unethical. If you get something direct in response, like a tarot reading, fine. But I personally wouldn't risk sending someone money to do a spell for me (again, unless it's tangible like a witch ladder or a knot magic hat or an oil or something). I think we talk about scammers so much in the community now though, that it's not something I really need to discuss because everyone knows about it.

I discussed misinfo in the topic above, and the only way I can think of to combat it is to talk about how it is rampant, and tell people to double and triple check their sources. Educating yourself isn't easy. Watching a tiktok or even a youtube video is not going to give you all the information. People will have to get comfortable doing research and then actually doing the witchcraft themselves 🤷🏼‍♀️. Also like I said, clearly stating UPG is important.

This has been said on every one of the videos discussing this I've watched: definitely having a large following automatically makes people think you're an expert. I've noticed this even on my relatively-small discord: being a mod in a position of power makes people believe you are all knowing. We try to staff based on activity and level-headedness and chemistry, so a lot of our staff are beginners. The rest of us who aren't beginners make it very clear what we're experts in and what we're not. Again, I think this goes back to doing my/your own research rather than maybe expecting to be spoonfed information.

Topic 3 I can get inspiration from content creators or other discord members, definitely. But I tend to take that and do my research and figure out how to do it in a way that works for me. I don't really get FOMO, but I feel like that is a product of knowing myself and knowing my craft and having lived in it for a while.

Rather than feeling FOMO, I feel like oftentimes I can feel quite burnt out. It's not a product of comparing myself to others necessarily, but especially with the moderating of the server. I don't know how content creators do it. I am a firm believer in going through seasons in your craft, and I think that can be so hard to do when you operate in a space where a lot of your community (or your job) revolves around one thing.

I don't know what my craft would look like without social media, to be honest.

Topic 4 I definitely think online communities are as valid as in-person communities. I am extremely grateful for the friends I have made on discord and online - they have pushed me and my craft to grow in a way it never would've without them by asking questions, recommending books, and sharing their own ideas.

I personally haven't been affected by people capitalising off of witchcraft, nor do I know anyone who has been. I definitely think some things should be paywalled so creators can get their due, but also almost all of the information you want to find you can find for free. It's whether you want to hunt to find that information, and whether you trust the sources that information may come from. I think the only way to ensure a course/etc is valid is to have info on who's running it. Who is teaching? What are they teaching? how long have they been practicing what they're teaching? Do they have a good bibliography / resource list for further reading? What are their accreditations? These are all questions we need to ask before we purchase something like that. Conclusions I feel like communities are always going to have issues, bad eggs, tension, all of that. There's no way to prevent it. I think the witchcraft community needs more honesty (not rudeness - honesty) about what they're doing and why, and I think it's important for people to know why they do things in their practice and why they work (the example I always use is, why do we stir tea clockwise to 'bring an intention'? It's an adaptation of movement in a circle thrice from British Traditional Witchcraft, but a lot of tiktoks don't share this when talking about the method). This will help prevent misinformation from spreading and can give context to posts. I also think people need to understand that some people's crafts will look strange to you. You may not call what they do witchcraft, but they do, and like I mentioned before, we all need to just accept that that's the way it is. This will be easier when people stop inflating their experiences (if they ever do), but for right now I think making your own experiences known to whatever extent you want is important. Even I can step up and say I did not have a deity choose me from birth, nor have my deities or spirits ever acted in a romantic, sexual, parental, or even best friend-type of way toward me. My relationships with my spirits has always been friendly and professional, but if they were not working with me, they would find another witch. I am not the Chosen One. Other people may have had these experiences, but that's not my experience, and that doesn't make me less of a witch.

Having this conversation about social media and its impact on the community is important, and I think just having this conversation by itself will make a big change.

Thank you for listening to my thoughts, especially if you made it this far. I'm not on tumblr much nowadays, but maybe I'll return to it someday.

Tea xx

#occultea #witchcraft #witchblr #green witch #folk witch #folk magic

[insufferableburnout]

The Lore

Hello all. This is my official blog introduction. I know this blog looks new but make no mistake, I am more than just a twitter refugee. I, like many depressed neurodivergent queer teens, found solace on this weird shitpost of a “website” around 2013. I joined because of Bandom and then this hellsite indoctrinated me into the Superwholock cult. After a few years of intense obsession, I was slowly starting to break away from this cesspool of a social media platform, Sherlock was still on hiatus, Supernatural was in season 9 or 10 and was especially bad, the BBC pulled a reverse boston tea party and pulled Doctor Who off of all American streaming services. All of the bands that I loved were being revealed to be predators, and I was growing up- or so I thought.

The straw that broke the camel’s back was the mass exodus after the infamous Porn Ban. I deleted my blog. But I, like so many depressed queer neurodivergent teens, needed a new outlet and migrated to Twitter. I had a lot of fun on there. It filled the whole in my heart where tumblr used to be and I convinced myself that it was “better” and “less cringy” and that *I* was “better” and “less cringy”. But I was a recovered tumblerina. There were a few times when I almost relapsed, November 5th for example, but it was the elongated muskrat, unable to buy himself a sense of humor and tired of the endless mocking from anyone who isn’t part of his army of weird nerd defenders, now determined to destroy the silly bird app that I had become so attached to. I finally caved.

In a cold sweat I searched “tumblr” in the app store and watched with bated breath as it downloaded. I was worried that it had changed, that I forgot how to navigate this place I used to know so well. But it welcomed me with open arms. Even the new features had a familiar air about them (the first tumblr blaze post I saw was someone promoting pictures of their cat, as god intended).And I fell back into a familiar rhythm.

So here I am; a depressed neurodivergent queer adult, turning back to the comforts of my youth. Enjoy your stay. Or don’t. I can no longer be bothered to care.

#blog intro #lore #tumblrina #superwholock #elongated muskrat #elon musk #twitter #twitter refugees

[avidink]

HELL o' World: WriteBlr Intro

Hello my name is Vida and I finally decided to make a proper introduction to this community, so here are a few facts about me:

💛 I'm a lesbian

💛 she/her He/him pronouns

💛 Native Spanish speaker

💛 got back to Tumblr a few years ago

💛 Would like to get back to writing fanfic

💛 I'm a literature student

With that out of the way, these are the Projects I'm actively working on. I write mostly in Spanish but sometimes writing in English helps me put some ideas down. So I'll be alternating in both languages when I post about my wips.

I'm still working on the working title. So here is a summary of the story I'm trying to tell.

Sam is a werewolf and Bonnie is a regular human. They are both classmates and don't get along that well due to their social groups being so different. Shenanigans happened and they fall into a fairy circle and get a love curse. So they need to find a way to break the curse before it becomes irreversible. As they get to know and confide in each other they realize that they are not so different from one another and wonder if this new connection that they feel with each other is real or it is part of the curse.

Ideas/motivations behind the story: I used to read not-very-good love stories when I was a kid and in a lot of these stories the protagonist falls in love with the bad guys just because it's their destiny or it's a curse even though they are not compatible. So what if two people are forced to fall in love and want to break the curse but then they realize that they like what they have and now they wonder if they actually want to break it they also wonder if what they have is real or is just the curse. There are sooo many ways it can be worked it.

They are both protagonists but I'm still deciding how is going to have more focus on them. This is an omega verse story btw.

Beaufort is an omega who just lost his husband and is now left alone to take care of their child, Toby. In a world of alphas, he is going to work extra hard in order to sustain both of them with an omega salary, since people of this world don´t think omegas are good at anything that is not taking care of the home. So he impersonates his late husband in order to have a better salary in a remote job.

While Dante is an Alpha who just fucked up big time at his job due to his arrogance so his parents, the company owners, fired him. So is now up to him to prove to them that he is actually that good at his job and it's the client's fault they did not get a deal. So he starts this new job with this mysterious alpha who thinks is soo good for everyone that no one has ever seen. He does think his husband that comes into the office every now and then is kinda cute.

Ideas/motivation behind the story: Like I said I used to read a lot of bad romance novels. I used to read a lot of Omegaverse when I was a kid and as I grow I realized that many o those relationships were not that good and I always wanted to write a story in which the bad boy has a big change of perspective and values. I also like the idea of a single father just trying to make it into the world and how those two characters get to influence each other. This is mostly a nostalgia project since is an idea that I had for a really long time.

#writeblr #writing community #writeblr intro #writeblr community #my writing #my introduction #lesbian story project #werewolves writing #omegaverse #my posts #my stuff #say hi if you want

[rotzaprachim]

12, 17, and 18 for the asks!

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

uhhh... no one in my particular circle of people with Taste, but Jyn. not even in terms of immediate fandom disk horse, but that in the wider-off tumblr star wars cultural reception, I think that even if rogue one is remembered as that That Time SW managed to Make Another Film That Was Good, the individual characters have been kind of... swallowed up. and that's why i love her. she's such a fucking mess. she's kind of petty and mean but in the space of things feels really human and fragile and somewhere outside the sw Strong Female Character Warrior Queen thing. her introduction scene as an adult where she takes the fucking shovel and just starts swinging is one of my favorite things in sw.

i think the same could be said of a bunch of the individual characters in andor, who i deeply adore, especially cinta, vel, bix, and kleya. not that they're unpopular in the I Hate These Women Way fandom sometimes does but that you just don't really see much... about them. (i do wish things about bix's writing were different, but i am fascinated by her as a CHARACTER and the fact that not only was she part of the extremely nascent rebellion before cassian, before almost everyone we know, if you draw the lines she's probably REALLY central to the axis circuit which is.. fascinating. like because she has no reason to tell Anyone the Truth of her secret dealings, we actually know extremely little about her, and that fascinates me. also she's this woman stuck in a small town she's tied into the fabric of and that's this source of complex ennui and pain i really love seeing in genre fiction and would love to root around in some more.)

vel and cinta... HELLO... vel and cinta.... cinta and vel... my brain is always thinking about them. just a lil.

also! i think leida mothma is second only to dark vader in greatest villains of the star wars universe. she's annoying as hell and she's this generational ticking time bomb about what happens when the kids born into the empire swallow it, when they /aren't/ leia organa.

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

instead of twitter misogyny i would like to see jyn/bix also jyn/bix/cassian. nothing will save us but bi threesomes.

AU's where cassian drove the van for the aldhani rock group's cringe death metal band (or, if we're placing SW into the 1970's, the aldhani group's 60's scottish folk band.)

honestly extremely attached to any kind of thing where jyn and cassian have a deep connection to each other that isn't laterally a hallmark greeting card. like i actually really find the extremely close FWB vibe with them during the rebellion era to be tremendously interesting, and i don't think fandom does enough with the whole fact that maybe a 70's space-futuristic leftist army /might/ not have the same ideas around social organisation and intimacy as a a netflix rom com OMG ARE YOU GUYS LIKE TOGETHER TOGETHER???? (like i'm sure the goss on echo base was insane but i'm also not sure it might have been That.)

Anything which recognises the Real Fact that Rogue One AU's should be set in the 1970's and everyone should be wearing 70's fashions and there should be way more oblique mentions of bellbottoms and paisley. except arguably andor might be set in the 60's. in which case they should be wearing 60's fashions.

This might be summoning snakes into my house but... you know all the stuff i said about kidfic aus? turns out what i really dislike are bad kidfic aus! because they thing is is that i think jyn and cassian's narratives are profoundly focused on the question of What It Is to be Someone's Child, and sw in general is really interested in the questions about what it is to be someone's parent and someoen's child in extremity (how well they carry this out ESPECIALLy with women is debatable) and there's a lot of room to do some seriously interesting character study work and post-war How Do We Break These Cycles work if it's something aside from the kind of bioessentialist hey guys woman's purpose Fulfilled because she's had biological children/ narrative OR the you can tell how Healed jyn and cassian are and how Over the War is cause they have two (2) biological children in space!suburbia called lyra and galen scenario, which proliferates in fandom. basically what i'm saying is there's no weird indie movie about rey climbing into cassian's car at the Jack-Q service station to steal his potato chips and him being like WHOSE KID IS THIS i have to RETURN you so this isn't KIDNAPPING [terrible flashbacks] and rey being like nooo mister and then they go on a loopy roadtrip to find her parents when of course the answer is in the journey. also nobody's written the scenario of Ye Classic Space!Road Trip to The Beach and the kids in the back seat are like BISCUIT BARON BISCUIT BARON and cassian is squinting over the top of the steering wheel because he thinks he missed the turnoff and pulling ye old Hay Comida En La Casaaaaa but Jyn's just like actually every single Biscuit Baron in the galaxy is closed, just for today, and the only thing they sell is black coffee.

18. it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

not to be like people would Care if they were white men BUT the amount of press and buzz and fics there would be if velcinta were white men like literally shut up about white war criminal superhero x white war criminal superhero when there's antifascist lesbian guerillas shooting fascists AND wearing twee hats in the highlands while they feed sheep in their lil space!scottish brokeback moutain moments. i think they're slept on as individual characters and as a ship especially when Cinta is one of the only women of color in the modern star wars and vel's story is on some level literally about queerness, being a queer woman in a conservative society (always hiding, always changing.)

jyn and cassian's matching magical girl anime moment soulmate chrystal kyber necklaces

still boggling over the fact that cassian and jyn's Rebellion Kidnappers/Dads canonically are people with History, c'mon guys, there's an infinite amount of stuff to do with saw and luthen accidentally setting their kidnapping victims/adoptees/proteges up together. (also i'm just extremely fascinated by saw and luthen as characters, up there with Guys Fandom Sleeps on.)

#this was so fun thank you. thank you #rogue one #andor

[ares-ariborn]

Snowboat AU (Edenverse AU)

Note: This post is from a wiki created by @lord-eden in the Adventure Bay Amino, and is recreated by me (ares-ariborn) with their permission. Unfortunately, the original source was quietly deleted by them. Thus, this Tumblr post is a recreation of said wiki, based on the screenshots and artworks I have managed to save, as well as the details I could recall in the AU.

Disclaimer: These are all my headcanons of Jake and Cap’n Turbot’s relationship and how it progresses over time. It may be a lil wild 😂

Warning: Contains some homophobia ⚠️

Introduction

¡Ay Dios Mio! I’ve been these two together since the end of Season 2. I can’t recall why i started paring these two together either (my memory is poor). I guess I wanted to make a funny crackship that I ended up growing attached to? Oops

Being that I made so many headcanons and a specific timeline for their relatonship, think it’s best if I write it all down so I don’t forget. I’m gonna be extra af and spill everything out on this wiki. Before we get into this I’d like to point out that I’ll be referring to Cap’n Turbot as his canon first name, Horatio.

The Beginning

In Season 1, they had no idea the other existed. Horatio just recently moved to Adventure Bay, on Seal Island. He was finally able to get his own ship and his own life. Far away from his overbearing family. Life as a peaceful fisherman was quite peaceful, but it got lonely real quick. Horatio was a social guy, and he was curious to meet the folks in Adventure Bay. He made a good image on himself very quickly for his positive attitude. He made a lot of friends in a span of a few months.

Meanwhile, Jake was doing his own thing. Around this time, he always stayed in his mountain. He maintained his resort and his chores on his own daily. He was extremely lonely but he didn’t really mind it. Even with years passed, Jake was still going over Timber’s Passing. The young man didn’t like to show his negative emotions at all. He tried so hard to not look so depressed in front of his guess but it was quite obvious considering he always looked tired. He hardly had any friends. Wouldn’t even leave his mountain unless Mr. Porter couldn’t deliver his produce to him or unless Mayor Goodway wanted to speak to him. Also, the paranoia of seeing his father, Al, again was another reason why he avoided town. Again, Jake and Horatio don’t know each other yet. This is their lives before they meet.

In Season 2, their lives only got better. Horatio allowed his cousin, François to live with him on Seal Island. During this time, Jake met and adopted Everest. Everest’s presence helped Jake go through the tough times of his life, even turned his life around. He began socializing with the citizens down in Adventure Bay, while at the same time avoiding his father. Since both were well known in town now, they saw each other as acquaintances only. They never had a full conversation yet.

In Season 3, Francois encouraged Horatio to take snowboarding lessons on Jake’s Mountain. Horatio wasn’t too stoked about it because he’s fine just staying in his comfort zone. That’s when Jake and Horatio finally got to meet each other. Jake was in a good mood that day, and Horatio kept making him laugh the way he worded things. When they were doing the lessons, Horatio ended up crashing into a tree. His helmet wasn’t probably secured on his head, so it fell off before impact. He crashed real hard too so Jake bought Horatio inside his cabin to tend him the ‘gnarly‘ bump on his forehead. Jake reassured him that everything is okay and that his bump wasn’t as bad as it looked. The two ended up just sitting in the living room chatting about each other’s interests. Both had things in common. From then on, the two started a friendship. Horatio started to invite Jake and Everest on his voyages now. Also Horatio would be seen snowboarding more often, hoping he can bump into Jake again sometime.

A year later, Horatio caught feelings first. Then on one voyage out at sea, Jake secretly told Everest that he had feelings for Horatio. Midday, Everest then trie to play Cupid and encourage each other to admit their feelings. At sunset, the two sat down on the stairs of the Flounder together. Everest eavesdropped from behind them, hearing them say to each other “I love you“.

You could now say that the ship has sailed

The Marriage

Years passed, and their relationship is still flourishing. Horatio thought it was the appropriate time to ask Jake to be his husband. Of course Jake accepted the proposal and the two started planning the wedding. The two didn’t speak much about their engagement and only invited close friends and family. The ceremony was on a small budget but at least they got married under the Magical Mer-Moon.

A year later, Jezebel came into the family. Jake and Horatio compromised and made a few decisions. Horatio sold Seal Island to Francois and moved in with Jake. Jake kept the resort open and they ran in together for awhile. Horatio still has the Flounder. His love for the sea was still present and he still fished and traveled every now and then.

The Future

Everything seemed fine until Horatio’s mom heard about the wedding. His mom is a very traditional woman and wanted him to find a perfect woman to bare his children. She didn’t like Jake one bit and threatened to force the rest of the family to disown Horatio because of his love life. He tried to reason with his mother and they eventually came to an agreement. She always wanted her son to join the navy, or at least the military just like his father. To satisfy her and to prevent her from controlling his life more than she already has, Horatio decided to join the Navy. He had to tell Jake everything. About his mom, the Navy... Jake couldn’t understand Horatio’s decisions, but he supported him anyway.

Years go by, two other children came into the family. Their names were Benjamin and Francette. Jake and Everest were always taking care of them while Horatio was busy out at sea. Every night, Jake would sit outside his cabin and ponder how his husband is doing. Horatio’s absence made Jake feel depressed again. Jake truly missed him and wished his husband could just stay on this mountain instead of out there. Horatio had to miss some of his children’s birthday and milestones. And when he actually had time off to visit, he would only stay for a month. Then it was back to sea, waiting to be let off another for a month. It was on rare occasions where Horatio would be laid off for a few months. It was only on rare occasions where Horatio would be laid off for a few months. It was usually for family emergencies.

Their love for each other was still there. When they reunited, Horatio always reassured Jake he still loves him dearly. I’d like to point out that Jake is in his 30s and Horatio was in his 40s here.

Another few years went by, the children were growing up. Jezebel was now 18, while Benjamin and Francette were teens. A transport incident occurred while Horatio was on patrol. Unfortunately a lot of damage was done and he didn’t make it. Jake was, of course, heartbroken. His children tried to calm him down that night as he was sobbing and screaming in Jezebel’s arms. Adventure Bay mourned for months. They even had a funeral done for Horatio. Everyone who knew him was there, except for his mother. Jake noticed her absence and scoffed to himself.

Life went on. The Flounder gained new ownership from Francette, who was also interested in Marine Biology. Benjamin left Adventure Bay with friends when he turned 18. No one knows where he is now. Jake and Jezebel worked together to maintain the resort. When Jake retired, Jezebel took over the mountain. Jake will often sit and remember the good ol’ days with Turbot. He would look up in the sky and smile, hoping his lover’s spirit is smiling down at him too.

The End

Additional Info:

Jake was the only person that was kind enough to try squid jerky. He said it tasted like chicken and that made Horatio extremely happy.

I can confirm that the children just popped into existence.

Yumi happily offers to babysit the children when needed.

Jake is homosexual. Horatio is bisexual.

Jake was 25 and Horatio was 30 when they started dating.

Snowboat was originally a crackship that I grew attached to.

Jake is good at singing, and would sing to Horatio when they go on dates.

 Snowboat Playlist

Sweet Sun - Milky Chance

Loveland - Milky Chance

Lessons in Love - Neon Trees

I Would Do Anything For You - Foster The People

Out of My League - Fitz and the Tantrums

The Other Side of Paradise - Glass Animals

Jackie and Wilson - Hozier

Halo - Beyonce

Hold Each Other - A Great Big World

I Found - Amber Run

Little Talks - Of Monsters and Men

Levitating - Dua Lipa

Something About You - Eyedress

Stay - Milky Chance

Accidentally in Love - Counting Crows

Your Love is My Drug - Ke$ha

#cap'n turbot #jake paw patrol #edenvese au #snowboat au #queued

[hauntingsoffuturepast]

Controversial Hot Take:

Don't listen to information on here or from "spiritual people" only through the lens of the analytical, the clinical, and/or the established. A lot of the time I have found people tar an entire notion or experience with the same brush just because the people who may have introduced that concept were flawed or problematic. And, I've seen a lot of people throw-the-baby-out-with-the-bath-water because of this.

A lot of the topics that I'm thinking of stem from New Age practices who seem to, for some reason, on Tumblr get a LOT of bad rap. I understand that there are people who can come across badly or be overly enthusiastic or just outright manipulative, but that's true of any group. And, even if the group (whatever group you might be thinking of) IS bad not every idea that they have or support is.

That's the difficulty of life, the best lies have a basis of truth in them.

The strongest example I have of this playing out in regular life is how the Nazis were STRONGLY opposed to pregnant women smoking due to health concerns related to smoking. Now, that is something that I, and hopefully you, and certainly most of modern medicine would agree with. However, that does not mean that I, or you, or the rest of modern medicine agree with all or even most of what the Nazis believed (obviously).

I write all this not to undermine people's real concerns, but to try and give perspective and also to support the reality that life is not so black-and-white as social media would often like to portray it as, and I've seen a lot of people lump certain ideas of spiritual thought or New Age movement all under one umbrella of "Cultural Appropriation" or "Ableism" or "Anti-Semitism" or "Eugenics" and so forth, while either having little backing to support this or only including the facts and examples that bolster their own narrative, and for those unsuspecting individuals who come across those posts trying to learn more on their spiritual journey they may take these words as gospel and consider an entire belief or experience out-of-bounds or off-limits because one or two people emphatically said so.

I'm not saying that those things can't be present at times in these spaces or used for those devices, but to paint an entire topic with one brush just because some problematic or villainous people used the belief to their own advantage or to support their own causes is often not helpful to those who are new and trying to learn in my opinion. And can root in people a strong dislike or disdain for something they don't even truly or fully understand because they were introduced to it through a very biased lens.

It should be no secret to the modern spiritual community (and certainly not to the Tumblr spiritual community) that deeply spiritual experiences or beliefs can be co-opted or used in ideas that are ultimately problematic (to say, perhaps, the least).

Examples of this can include everything for those get-rich-quick types of spirituality co-opting the idea of manifestation for financial gain, to once-again the Nazis supplanting the holy iconography of the Swastika which had THOUSANDS of years of spiritually sacred history in its use prior to the Nazis adopting it and using it for their own devices.

I guess what I'm trying to get at here is use your own best spiritual discernment and/or wisdom as much as you can because you certainly can be tricked or duped by others into believing things that have no real grounds in the usage cases that you find them, you can also be tricked or duped by YOURSELF and by your own fears and worries and the way that others can twist those around inside of you to support the narrative they've constructed around an idea or a fear inside THEMSELVES.

I.E. It's easier to convince yourself of a lie (or, at least, an exaggeration) if others believe it too.

So, circling back to my original point in the introduction try to use (as much as you can) your OWN spiritual discernment when it comes to these kinds of things and don't be too quick to judge.

Be mindful, of course, but also be open to both you and other "more knowledgeable" people being wrong. Even if they have "the facts" as large sections of society or their own communities might see it, in my experience, spirit has a funny way of supplanting that with Truth (with a capital "T") that you can NOT deny or rationalize your way out of.

All this to say, walk wisely weary traveler, but do travel and see for yourself before just assuming someone else's opinion is correct even, and especially, when it reinforces what you already believe to be true, but isn't matching up with what your spirit says to be true.

#Astral Projection #New Age #New Age Beliefs #Paganism #Esoteric #Occult #Witch #Witchy #Atlantis #Age of Aquarius #Crystals #Spirit #Spiritual #Spiritualism #Wisdom #Life #In defense of the New Age I guess #Discernment #Also the established is only as established as it is until it changes #Stay Humble #Always be Wise #I bet 3 people see this LOL #Magical #Magickal

[bustyasianbeautiespod]

Episode 59 Transcript: The Formula

[intro guitar music]

G: Hello! My name is Grey.

C: And my name is Crystal.

G: And this is Busty Asian Beauties, a Supernatural commentary podcast where I, someone who has seen the show several times...

C: And I, someone who only knows the show through social media, discuss every single episode of Supernatural from start to finish. Also, we are both Asian.

G: Both Asian! For today's episode, we will be discussing Season 3, Episode 15: “Time is on My Side,” written by Sera Gamble, directed by Charles Beeson.

C: I don't like these people. These people did me wrong today.

G: Really? Well, I guess we'll find out as we talk about it, the parts that you didn't like.

C: Alright.

G: But before everything we want to announce that this is the second to the last episode of this season. So, as usual, we have a Q&A at the end. Are we still doing that? [laughing]

C: Yeah. Yeah, let's do that.

G: So this is around the time where we start accepting questions through DMs- what do you call that? Asks on Tumblr? Email, whatever avenue you can reach us, we'll find your answer, and we'll answer it. So ask us questions! Whoo!

C: Yes, please do. Thank you.

G: It can be about season 3 in general; it can be about Supernatural in general; it could be about specific episodes. It could be about me and Crystal! [laughs]

C: Yeah, though, I guess we will decide what we will and won't answer.

G: Yeah. I mean, yeah. But yeah, just throw some questions.

C: Yes.

G: So before we start the episode, what did you think of it first? Pre-episode-

C: Well, I guess first-

G: No, no, like, because we have pre-episode discussions, right?

C: That's true. Didn't like it.

G: Really?

C: I feel like the Bela ending was just really sloppily-done, and there was very little lead-up to a lot of what happened here. And I thought the case was dumb as shit.

G: It was so stupid! When they were like, "It's science, bro-" [C laughing], like, "It's-"

C: "I'll read you the formula!" [laughs] What? What formula?

G: It's so stupid.

C: What do you mean? What do you think the formula is?

G: It was- you know that, like, Twitter debate going on right now that happens every 6 months, where people are like, "What does this basic PEMDAS equation equate to?" And people are like, using PEMDAS wrong, so they're getting the wrong answer, and they're fighting for their lives saying it's the correct answer? [laughing] That's the equation [C laughing] that he's going to read. It's so stupid!

C: [laughing] "Please don't kill me! I'll teach you PEMDAS, and then you'll be able to live forever!"

G: Literally. It's so stupid.

C: I just don't think there's anything good in this episode besides Rufus.

G: Yeah.

C: And even Rufus, this isn't his best moments or anything.

G: Yeah. It's his introduction. He's introduced well enough, but like, not like his introduction surrounded or centered around him. It centered around Bela.

C: Dean, also.

G: Which is understandable. Yeah, which is- The Bela part is understandable, because, you know. And also, the Dean part, I guess, because the season is ending. I mean it's a bit late of an introduction-

C: Yeah, the dialogue, whatever.

G: It's a bit late of an introduction, as I said, but Bobby was introduced last episode of season 1, right?

C: True.

G: So they like to do this.

C: Yeah, they do.

G: Yeah. I mean, [laughs] it's just such a- It's not that bad. It's not the worst episode of Supernatural. But it is quite goofy, and it ends the thread of plot that has been going on since the start of the season quite poorly. So that's that.

C: Yeah.

G: Yeah. But before we start discussing the actual episode, what did you know about the episode before you watched it? Did you recognize this title?

C: I did not recognize the title, but like, from the vibe of it, I was like, "Okay, Bela's probably gonna die in this one, because I don't think she's gonna die in the finale because they have other things to do in the finale." And I guess the things I knew about Bela's death was that she was going to be crying on the phone, asking Sam and Dean to help her, and they would not. And then she would die. Yeah. I don't know. I think that's about all I knew about this episode.

G: Yeah. I mean, as for me, I have no recollection at all of the bullshit case, but I do remember the Bela parts pretty well, so- That was- Those were the parts where I recognized what was happening. But I didn't remember that the Bela episode was this- The final Bela episode was this lacking of her. Because it really was. She was like, barely in it.

C: Yeah.

-

G: So I suppose we start with a "Then" sequence, which doesn't really matter. I mean, did you notice anything about the "Then" sequence?

C: I just thought it was funny that they ended it on like, "The only person who can get me out of this is me." "And me." And then it's like, dramatic music, and it closes so it makes it seem like what Sam said was like, a normal thing to say, which it was, and not something that Dean makes fun of him for 10 minutes at the end of last episode, which is what actually happened. [G laughs]

G: Yeah. Yeah. That's the "Then" sequence. But as for the episode, we start with this very, very basic teaser. Like, could have been in any episode teaser. Last time, we talked about how that teaser was actually really fun, right? Do you remember that?

C: I do.

G: So this teaser being like, so lackluster and like, nothing happens, was like, "Okay. So sometimes it's good, sometimes it is bad." [C laughs] Slay.

C: So true.

G: So true. We start with two guys chilling in a spa, and- I don't know.

C: Racquet club?

G: The racquet club. Yeah!

C: It's literally called "Crystal Spa and Racquet Club."

G: Yeah! It literally. They're chilling in a Crystal Spa and Racquet Club. And I suppose they're- what are they?

C: Plastic surgeons?

G: They're like, workers in there. Plastic surgeons. Yeah, I suppose. What were they talking about? Is this completely relevant at all.

C: They were talking about how everyone wants to like be young and live forever.

G: Oh, yeah, yeah. They're talking about like, "This whole looking young business is so like-"

C: Brutal.

G: Brutal. Yeah, they say that. But at some point they say-

C: There's a fun little misogyny moment where one doctor is like, "Ooh, do you have a boob job to do tomorrow?" And the other doctor's like, "I wish." I- [G laughing] I don't people derive any real sexual pleasure out of like, doing a boob job right? Like, I feel like- I feel once it is a medical thing, like, you get over that.

G: Yeah. Anyway, one of the doctors end up putting his bag at the back of his car, and then he gets pushed into the trunk by some person, and then he gets trapped inside the trunk. And then the next scene is him walking into a hospital in like, a dressing gown, and he's holding his stomach, and blood is dripping out from his legs. At first, I thought they like, cut his dick and balls. [C laughing] 'Cause like, the blood was dripping from his thighs in like, you know, like, the imagery is like, something related to genitalia. But no, it's not what happens. What happens is a nurse comes up to him. Actually, I thought the scene was super creepy for some recent, because I thought the nurse was creepy as all hell, but like, that wasn't the intention at all. Like, the nurse was like, "Don't worry! You can show us what happened to you. There's nothing I haven't seen yet." Blah blah blah. And then he opens his- like, the nurse takes his hand, and then, like, his insides fall to the floor. Disgusting, but-

C: Do they? They did? I didn't even notice that.

G: You don't see it. You don't see it, but you can hear the plopping sound.

C: Oh.

G: Yeah.

C: I thought that was just like, the maggots or something. But I guess it's too loud to be the maggots.

G: Yeah. The nurse starts screaming. End of teaser.

C: RIP.

G: RIP.

C: Yeah, that was boring. So-

G: So boring. It did remind me of like the whole, like, you know, gutting is a very- I don't know what the word is. It's like, a very- Evocative! Like, it's a very evocative imagery. The image of someone being gutted like a fish.

C: Yeah. Like a fish.

G: So like, that's something I like. The fact that they incorporated that. And like, the whole, like, your insides slosh on the floor. I think- I think that's what happens. But other than that, truly the most "eh!" teaser of all time.

C: Yeah. I thought that what he was covering was like, a giant mouth or something growing out of his side [G laughs], so I was very disappointed when it was just a regular hole.

G: Yeah! It's not even a mouth.

C: Yeah.

-

C: So, right. So we're like, in some random cabin, and Sam and Dean are torturing a demon. And like, this demon is possessing a Black man which makes the torture scene feel worse, and maybe also is worse. I feel like they're being heavier on the holy water than they have been in other cases.

G: They- Yes, that is true. Although this episode, this entire episode-

C: Right. The gore rating is a lot higher than the usual Supernatural episode.

G: Yes. So I think I would give this like, a pass, although because like, the point is to make you uncomfortable that, like, "Look at Sam and Dean! They're so- They're so like, gung-ho to get this deal thing out of the way that they're becoming like, such violent people." And also like, just the episode itself, from the case, from the monster of the week, he was very brutal. Eugh.

C: Yeah.

G: There were maggots in this episode!

C: There were maggots in this episode.

G: And it was truly- it was truly something.

C: Yes. So they're torturing this demon, asking him who holds Dean's deal, and yeah. Basically, Dean just keeps like, forcing like, holy water down this person's mouth, and yeah, this person's like, gargling and choking. It's like, not fun. And yeah. The demon makes a "your mom" joke.

G: He truly does. [laughing]

C: Yes. Good for him. And he also says that, like, he's not gonna talk because whatever torture Dean puts him through is like, incomparable to what he will face if he actually talks. And so Sam starts to exorcise this person, and he tells Dean like, "Oh, sure, if you send me back to Hell, I'll just be there to like, beat you up once you show up." And Sam stops at this and he goes, "Okay, like, should I actually exorcise him then?" But Dean says, "Yes, send him someplace he can't hurt anyone else." And yeah, exorcism happens. And end.

-

G: So we go to the cabin that they're staying in. And Sam is talking on the phone to someone about some fingerprints and stuff, like, case details. And then Dean enters, and he goes like, "Did you bury the body?" [laughs] And Dean was like, "yeah." And he says that the body before the guy died, like, told him that the demon, like, fucked him up. Or, did he say that, or did he just say that "It looks like he-"

C: He just said it looked like-

G: Yeah, like the demon fucked them up like, on purpose. Like, for kicks.

C: Yeah.

G: Which is, I guess, fascinating because I feel like angel vessels have the tendency to take care of their vessel, right?

C: Right.

G: Like, they heal their vessel. Shit like that. But I suppose because you're a demon and [both] you don't have healing powers.

Yeah, so like, it doesn't matter to you as long as you get to puppeteer a body. It doesn't really matter. But I remember during this scene, and this is like, completely unrelated, other than the fact that it's also a Supernatural scene, but like, later in like, Season 9, there's a scene where a demon complains that like- Oh, not a demon. An angel complains. Because this is when they fall, right? Like, they've fallen. And the angel is like, "Oh, I've lost like, a lot of my powers. My vessel has psoriasis, and I can't even do anything about it." And like, I just remember that because I have psoriasis, and every single time they're like, "Oh, angels can cure anything. But not psoriasis!" [laughs] I'm like, "What a- what a slay." [C laughs] So real.

C: Yeah.

G: Yeah. Anyway, so Sam relays that a case that they have been looking at, like, yesterday, there's been updates to it. And like, they make a little joke where Dean goes like, "Oh, the case on the newspaper? You mean, like, a stripper suffocating a dude with her thighs?" And it's like, whatever. Eh.

C: Whatever.

G: [laughs] Whatevs! Sam says that the body that they found, like, you know, in the hospital, was covered in bloody fingerprints, not of the guy's, but of someone who died in 1961. So like, that's interesting. And Sam proposes that it could be zombies, that maybe they should check it out. And Dean is kind of weirded out by this because, and he mentions here, he has three weeks left.

C: Yep.

G: And he goes like, "Oh, of course I want to hunt zombies. But like, if I have three weeks left, like, why are you interested in zombies?" And Sam just explains that like, "I just want you to, you know, let loose. [both laugh] You wanted to visit a case, so I wanted to do you a favor by making you visit a case." And so they go to the coroner.

C: Yeah. Also, like, Dean's just so excited about it being zombies. I don't- Okay, like good for him. He's also says, "Zombies like the other white meat." What is that? Brains? What's the other white meat? First, what's the first one? What's the second one? [G laughs]

G: I have no idea! Like, is he talking about white people? [laughing]

C: Maybe?

G: What is happening? I have no idea what he was saying there.

C: Yeah.

G: To be clear, the line was, "Zombies do like the other other white meat."

C: Oh, the other other, right.

G: And, so first, there's the white meat, which is like chicken, right?

C: Chicken, yeah.

G: And then the other white meat is what? White people-

C: White people? White people's cocks? I don't know.

G: And then the other other- are brains? I have no idea.

C: Yeah, okay, brains have gray matter-

G: Yes.

C: Do they have white matter also? Okay, so that's what he's referencing?

G: I think- wait, like- I think there's like, white matter in the brain is like the super inside.

C: Okay. So is that the white meat?

G: I think that is the reference. Yeah! Neurology major king. [C laughs]

C: So true of Dean.

G: [laughing] Is neurology the study of the brain? I have no idea.

C: I don't- Neuroscience?

G: I was right. Neurology.

C: Is there any difference?

G: What is the difference between neurology and neuroscience? You know what? If you happen to be a neurologist- I feel like neurology is like, a doctor, right? A neurologist is a doctor-

C: Yeah, neurology is medicine and neuroscience is just the study of the nervous system in general.

G: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

C: Yeet.

G: Yeet, as you like to say.

-

C: Yes. So we go to like, a lab with the coroner- coroner and the body. And Dean's still very on the zombie track. He's like, "So, like, were there teeth marks?" Because apparently it looked like the body was intact except the liver was missing. And the coroner is like, "You all are fucking stupid. I don't believe you're actually cops." And they show him their badges, and Dean says, "We're very smart." [laughs] So true. So the coroner reveals the liver was removed surgically by like, a clean cut of a scalpel. And then the coroner's like, "I fucking hate both of you. You clearly didn't read my report. Please go away." And they go-

G: Yeah, I thought this guy being so mean to them was gonna be plot-relevant.

C: Yeah same! Like, "Is he the monster?"

G: It wasn't. It wasn't. Yeah, it wasn't plot relevant, but that also made me very happy, because, like, somebody should just be assholes to Sam and Dean, just because, I feel like.

C: I agree.

G: Like, it should be the status quo for every interaction they have with a professional who is actually trying to do their job.

C: Yes, I agree. I think it should happen all the time. And the next person they talk to also doesn't like them for good reason. And I think-

G: Yeah, because the guy is- yeah. Because the guy is like, this guy in a hospital bed who just had his kidney stolen. And before we go into that, like, something I want to mention is, there's one woman in this episode that was a victim. And like, that person we don't get to see- Because we mention, right, like this episode is very brutal, but we don't get to see her be brutalized, and in a way, I'm thankful for that. Because, like, the whole, like, getting your like- You take the wrong drink or whatever, and then you wake up with no kidneys is like, a genuine fear that, like, people have, especially women, right? Do you think so?

C: I don't think that organ-stealing is a particularly gendered fear, but I don't know. Maybe it is.

G: I mean, maybe, but like, I guess the whole like, being taken, stuff like that, is like, yeah.

C: Right.

G: So like, in a way, I was like, throughout the episode I was like, "Oh, it would be so much more horrible to- if this scene was happening to a woman." [laughs] I mean, obviously, it was bad that a guy was murdered, etc. [C laughs]

C: Yeah. [G laughs]

G: But like, I was thinking like, "I don't think I could stomach seeing like, a woman be like, chloroformed, and then, like, her organs be taken." So like, in a way, I was like, "Oh, at least we didn't get to see the poor women be brutalized in that way."

C: Yeah, but also, it was just her arm that had maggots on it, so like, I don't even know. There's no fucking organ in the arm. I don't know what was taken from her.

G: Maybe- I don't even know. Because, like, the implication, I feel like, was her arm was taken, but like, her arm was attached to her body!

C: [laughs] Yeah.

G: So what was taken?

C: It was right there! Just a little skin swatch?

G: The guy was like- [laughs] Yeah. The guy saw her arm, and was like, "Okay, I'll take a cut," and then he realized it was like, too small proportionally for his body, or like, the wrong size or whatever, and he was like, "No, let's stop this right now. I cannot have tiny hands." [C laughing]

C: Exactly.

G: So yeah. Anyway, they talk to the guy, and the guys visit them, and they don't really get any information from this guy other than like, he was strapped to the table, and there was no anesthesia, it was just pain after pain after pain. And they ask about any details. The guy sarcastically tells them that like, "Oh, let me think! Like, yeah, I remember... My kidneys getting fucking taken from my body. So fuck off." Dasurv, as I like to say.

C: Right. There's also a line here that I like, where the guy's like, not wanting to answer their questions, and Dean says, "Don't you want to get the guy?" And the patient says, "Will it get me back my kidney." Like, so true, carceral and punitive justice is completely useless. Say that.

-

G: We go back to a motel room, and it's Sam and Dean, and Sam's doing research and Dean is eating, and Sam says that he's got a theory. And he says that the incisions for the patient whose kidneys were taken - and he calls him Mr. Giggles. [laughs] Did you catch that?

C: Yeah.

G: And I was like, "Is that his surname, or are they insulting this guy who get his kidneys taken-"

C: They're insulting this guy who got his kidneys taken. [G laughs]

G: "- about being cranky?" [screams] Insane. But yeah. His incisions were sewn in silk, and this hasn't happened for a long time. Like, 19th century. Way back. And apparently, this was like, a terrible thing to do, because infections and everything. So what they would do is they would put maggots on the body, and the maggots will eat the bad flesh. Well, there's a term that they use. Good, bad tissue. And then, like, leave the good tissue behind. So when they found the guy, his body cavity was stuffed full of maggots. Sam says that. And Dean is eating. So like, the entire scene is like, this whole exchange of like, "Dude, I'm eating. Like, stop it!" That's exactly how he says.

C: Wait. Why are there so many scenes where Dean's eating, and Sam isn't. Like, do they not take their meals at the same time? Or does Sam just not eat?

G: Interesting.

C: Like, I just remember last episode, Dean had a hot dog, and Sam just had a soda that he then threw into the trashcan [both laugh], you know?

G: His empty- his full, empty soda.

C: Yeah. [laughs]

G: Well, you're right. Although, do you think that was the intention of the show, or it just so happens?

C: I just feel like they're like, "Dean has a thing about food that we think is haha funny. So we're gonna show him eating more. But the default thing is not eating." But like, by always having Sam not eating, they've also created a Sam thing about food. Which I feel like people delve into before.

G: Maybe, like, how I would interpret this is that, because I feel like Sam is always portrayed as the more motivated to get shit done. So like, an interpretation could be like, "Dean has the mental, like, separation from the case to eat, and Sam's like, super focused," you know.

C: Right.

G: So he forgets to eat. Which lends to a lot of possible other avenues to take that, with regards to Sam.

C: Yeah.

G: Yeah. And like, Sam and food is, I feel like, something that will be explored more and more and more and more as time- as the seasons come and go. It's just interesting to me because I feel like that exploration is more, you know, fandom-side, like watcher-side, than actual show-side. Because the show like, is just" Haha! He's vegan."

C: Yeah.

G: And then, like, no other analysis, no other anything. They don't even say the word "vegan." [both laugh] They don't even say anything about it. It's just like, "Haha! Look at his eating habits. It's so funny, isn't it?" And it's like, [laughs] "How about we think about this for a little while?"

C: Yeah. What if?

G: Yeah What if? Anyway, Dean says, "This whole thing about the silk and maggots and etc sound very familiar. Why is that?" And Sam says, "You have heard it before when we were kids, from Dad, because this guy named Doc Benton is a doctor from like, way back, who is obsessed with alchemy." This guy was like 1816 when his- [laughs] This guy was not 1816. It was 1816 when this guy like, ended his practice, and then, a couple of years later, people started showing up dead and stuff, and, like, you know, hunter community realized that it's this guy's doing, and he has found, like, some cure-all for immortality or whatever. And Dad- not Dad. John killed him before.

C: Mm-hm. Oh, also, to clarify, the people showing up dead were all like, people missing organs because he was replacing his own organs with theirs.

G: Yes. Missing organs and body parts and stuff. So, you know, like, very Frankenstein-ish story. Not story, but like, a Frankenstein-ish composition of the body, which we do see later. Because, like, there are like, stitches across his face, which I don't really understand. Unless-

C: Yeah, wouldn't he just keep the whole face?

G: Yeah! [laughs] But whatevs. This entire case is so stupid, so, yeah.

C: So stupid. Like, "Oh my god. This guy was scientifically advanced enough to create immortality." But he's still using 19th century medical practices with stitching and maggots? Like, you're telling me he can't get dental floss somewhere. [G laughs]

G: Yeah, exactly. Also, I think- I don't remember exactly when in this episode, but they say like, a specific term for killing someone. Like, etc. And, update about the whole thing we had in Season 1 where we were like, "I'm gonna ventilate the guy," and you were like, "How is that- Why is that a term for killing?" etc etc. Do you remember that?

C: Yeah.

G: I have seen the word "ventilated" used recently for like, killing someone.

C: In Yakuza?

G: In Yakuza, yes. So like, at some point, one of the guys is like, "Everyone out there is gonna ventilate you." And I was like, "Oh my god. It's an actual word that people use for killing!" I love that I watched it in Supernatural, and I was like, "It must be a fluke and a stupid way, and something the writers thought of that was so stupid," [C laughing] and then I see it in Yakuza, and I was like, "It's a real word."

C: "Wow! A real thing?" Yeah. [G laughs]

G: But yeah, the the monster stays- or well, the Dr. Benton guy stays beside like, a river or a stream of fresh water because that's where he dumps like, the other stuff, like, intestines and fecal matter and stuff. And like, Sam says this in like a way where he's looking at Dean in a like, "Is this disgusting you yet?" And Dean just looks at him, and then looks at his burger and goes, "Oh, baby," talking to the burger [C screams], "I can't stay mad at you," and then he bites it, and it's a whole thing. He's so happy to be eating this burger.

C: Sick and tired.

G: What?

C: I said that I'm sick and tired of Dean's bullshit. [both laugh]

G: Yeah.

C: This episode never really gets into the fact that the doctor doesn't want these people to die. Like, he tries to stitch them up-

G: To save them, yes.

C: - and like, send them out. Yeah. Which doesn't really seem like the right move. You don't want to be caught. So like, I feel like that could have been used more in his like, "I'm not so bad" argument, but eh, whatever.

-

C: So we get a scene where there's some guy, and he's jogging, and then he gets chloroformed. And he is like, strapped to a table. He has like, a heart meter watch-

G: A heart monitor, yeah.

C: Yeah, that he had on when he was jogging. And the director has a lot of fun with like, cutting to it at opportune moments.

G: Yeah, like it gets faster when he wakes up-

C: Yeah, 'cause he's afraid-

G: - and then it stops when his heart like, gets taken out of his body. Stuff like that. And [laughs] like, I saw this guy and I was like, "Why does this look like Jared Padalecki if he was an even more generic white guy?" [laughs]

C: Huh. I don't remember what this guy looks like, which maybe like, because he's such a-

G: Yeah, that's my point. Like, this is Jared Padalecki if he was - you know. It literally looks like Jared Padalecki though. No, I'm sorry for calling the guy "it." He looks like Jared Padalecki. For real

C: Mm. So we see Doc Benton for the first time. He's wearing a surgical mask, but we can see that there's like, scars down his face where skin has been sewn together. Also, his eyes, one of them is like, cloudy, and another one is closed, and that becomes plot-relevant later.

G: Yeah.

C: So, okay, this scene is just incredibly long. Like, what happens is that-

G: That's what i'm talking about!

C: Yeah, the doctor like, carves the heart out of this guy, but like, it's soo long. Like, we get him cutting the rectangle. We get him slowly, like lifting up the skin flap. We get him putting the like, whatever underneath the whatever to disconnect it.

G: Like, we hear the ribs crack as he cracks open the ribs! Like, why is this so gory? Which is why, like we mentioned earlier, like, "Oh, like, I think the vibe of the episode is just this." But I did wonder today like, "Is this because I'm not used to Supernatural again?" Because we did take that break like, you know, a week ago. And yeah, I was like- But like, this is particularly brutal, right?

C: Yeah, this is more blood than- and like, guts and stuff than they are usually willing to show.

G: Yep.

C: Yeah, like we fully see him lift the heart out of this guy's like, bloody like, cavity.

G: - Chest, yeah. This guy's fucking- yeah.

C: I feel like they just needed to fill time or something. Like, we already know what the doctor does. Like, this scene adds nothing to the case.

G: Yeah, but, you know, it's gory.

C: Mm. Yeah. For the horror fans

G: For the horror fans out there. Charles Beeson was having fun.

-

C: So now we're at a motel that Sam and Dean are staying at. It's called The Erie. And they're looking at a map where that has all the hunting cabins in the woods where the doc might be hiding out. And right, I guess it's good to know that Sam is taking the lead on this case. Like, which he usually does do, research-wise, but like, seems to be doing more this episode. And also, when he introduced the case to Dean, like, that scene ended with like, ominous music that felt very out of place at the time. Do you remember that?

G: Not really.

C: Okay. This episode just made a lot of weird ominous music choices, but I guess for that opening scene, it's to hint at something that we will find out later. So Dean gets called-

G: I think maybe like, it's also a matter of, it's the second to the last episode of the season, so they need to make you feel like they're upping the ante. [C laughs] You know?

C: Yeah.

G: So yeah.

C: Yeah.

G: Truly, a fascinating- like, Season 3 is so fascinating because of how short it is. Like, can you imagine next episode, that's it? And like, I wonder- I really do wonder what it was like watching the show live and being like, "It's the second to the last. How the hell are they going to save Dean? They don't even have the fucking Colt." And then you have [laughs]- you get to the next episode, and they literally don't save him.

C: And he fucking ides?

G: They literally don't save him. So yeah.

C: Yeah.

G: Alas, we'll never experience the joy of watching that.

C: Yeah. Dean getting torn apart without knowing.

G: We're so mean! We're so mean.

C: Yeah.

So Dean gets a call from Bobby. and he says that he has a lead on where Bela is from... Rufus Turner!

G: Whoo!

C: So Bobby says that he is a hunter, or used to be a hunter. Currently, he just is a hermit, and sells some- he doesn't say what he sells, but it's like, probably like, magical object things?

G: Items, yeah. Probably like- I mean, are we supposed to believe that Bela went to Rufus specifically to trap Sam? Or was she actually looking for like, magical items? Not magical. What's the term? Occult items.

C: I mean, from her phone call later, it seems to imply that she went to Rufus on purpose.

G: Yeah.

C: Yeah.

G: So like, she really wasn't there to actually like, buy shit from Rufus. It was just a trap.

C: I think.

G: Yeah. Smart!

C: Smart.

G: Not smart enough, though. RIP.

C: Yeah. So some British woman with the alibi "Mina-" or not alibi. With the name, fake name-

G: Alias.

C: Yeah. Mina Chandler called up Rufus and wanted to buy some items. And Dean says that she has used that alias before, which, yeah, makes me think that she just did that to set up a trap. And Dean says, "It's sloppy of her to get in contact with one of your old friends," and Bobby says, "Friend? No, lover." [both laugh] No, well, what he says is that they haven't spoken-

G: He truly does say that.

C: Yes, [laughs] you're right. Nothing else happened. [both laugh] Yeah. So he says that Rufus isn't his friend, because they haven't talked in 15 years, and Rufus isn't the Christmas card type

G: Because he's Jewish! Correct?

C: Yes, which we don't learn this episode-

G: We don't learn this episode, but we do learn at some point.

C: Yes. And yeah, he is living in Vermont. And Bobby also advises that Dean take a bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue with him to soften Rufus up.

G: Yeah. I think this is- this is the most that I remember about Rufus. 'Cause like, the Johnnie Walker Blue thing, I think, as a child, that really imprinted on me, because like, I thought like it was like, a super high-end- like, I thought because of this episode, I thought Johnnie Walker was a super high-end whiskey. [laughs]

C: Wait, is it not?

G: I don't know. I'm not sure. Is it? [typing] "Is Johnnie Walker high-end?" Oh! Blue Label is actually like, high-end for real.

C: Okay.

G: Ah. But like, I don't know. I remember when I was young, and we renovated the house, we had like a case for my dad's liquors and stuff. And [laughs] when he brought out the Johnnie Walker, I was like, "Oh my god! Are we rich? [C laughing] Oh my god! He's just like Rufus for real!" Like, I was actually super excited because I was like, "Oh, he's like- He and Rufus, they could be buddies. They both like Johnnie Walker."

C: So true.

G: And like, that's why, when I was young, I was like, "Oh, I remember this scene so so so well," because for some reason, the branding really stuck with me. You know what? You know they say that Supernatural is a 15-year-long Chevy commercial. For we, it was a 15-year-long Johnnie Walker: Blue Label commercial. So real.

C: Good for them.

So Dean tells Sam, "Okay. We're abandoning this case, and we're gonna go after Bela." And Sam says, "No, I think we should stay here and finish the case because there's no way that Bela still has the Colt. She's probably sold it off already." And Dean says, "Well, then, I'll kill her." Like, okay. They have joked, or maybe seriously talked about killing her like, since basically the moment they met her, right? At what point do you think it tipped into real?

G: Yes. Well. They really did- She really did fucking-

C: Yeah, call the cops.

G: Yeah, like, she actually did some bad shit to them. So I guess at some point, it has become real. But it's the same vibe that I- You know how I said like, "Oh, the whole Dean being like- With Ruby, he has always been like, 'Oh, she's a bitch. She's a cunt. I'm gonna kill her.'" [laughing] I don't think he ever says, "She's a cunt." He's not British enough for that. But you know, that's the vibe with Ruby. And then, like, it ends with the death of Ruby. So like, it's less satisfying because they never get out of that- He never gets out of that mindset of like, "I want to kill her." And I feel like the same could be said about Bela, although I guess with Bela, it's a bit more straightforward than with Ruby. That, like, she wronged them. So of course Dean is gonna be mad. But a part of me is like, "I wish there was some point where that wasn't the case." Like, maybe if Season 3 was longer, there could have been a case where it was just like a solid thing where she's doing them a good thing, and then they can be buddies for that episode without like, strings attached and all that shit. And so that we can have a bit more of a emotional thing when he ends up being so mad at her to this degree instead of just, "Oh, I'm a little bit mad her. Now, I'm a loooot mad at her"-type situation.

C: Yeah. Agreed. Also, like, they've become pro-killing humans this season. Or I guess they were pro-killing humans with Jake already at the end of season 2, and there was not really a discussion about that at all.

G: About Jake?

C: Well, just about them being fine with killing humans now. Because it was such a thing in Season 1 where they were like, "We can't."

G: I mean, he doesn't, right? Like, he doesn't kill Bela.

C: He doesn't kill Bela. But like, they've been fine with saying that it's gonna happen, and when like, Dean shows up at the end, Sam asks, "Did you kill her?" like, expecting the answer to be yes.

G: A yes! Yeah!

C: And yeah, they totally killed that guy in "Dream a Little Dream of Me," which is still the funniest thing that's ever happened. [G laughs]

G: [laughing] Sometimes, when I want to cheer myself up, I go back to that episode and go to the portion where we just go, "And then the guy dies!" [C laughing] and then start laughing so hard for like, five minutes. It truly was a fun time.

C: Soo true.

G: That episode was so fucking funny. Literally, they just killed a guy.

C: You know that post from like, what? Like, 2012 or something that's like, "If you're ever having a bad day, remember that Jensen beat up 3 guys when they talked bad to Jared and Jared broke a guy's nose for talking bad to Jensen."

G: [laughing] What?

C: [laughing] And then someone replied, "How are these violent men supposed to make my day better?" But in Supernatural "Dream a Little Dream of Me," those violent men did make my day better. [G laughing]

G: Is that for real? Did Jared-

C: Also, I have no fucking clue if that original post is true. I don't know if anyone beat up anyone. Well, I mean, Jared Padalecki did beat up up some people, but that was alone.

G: Yeah. Surprisingly, I do not give a shit. [laughing] About this happening- no, about Jared and Jensen.

C: Yeah. Yeah. So they start having an argument where Dean's like, "Sam, we're fucking going." And it's clear that he's like, kind of desperate to see Bela so that he can get the Colt back because he has 3 weeks left. Whereas Sam goes like, "Dean, this case, here, is what's gonna save you." Which yeah, like, I guess before this, we think that Sam wants to stay because people are dying. But nah. [laughs]

G: Yeah.

C: So yeah, apparently, Dean has to die before he goes to Hell, so Sam has decided that they should figure out how to make Dean immortal through Doc Benton. "If we find out how he did it, we can do it to you."

G: Which is so stupid because, honestly, it isn't even gonna work.

C: How he does it is stealing organs.

G: Like, one, morality-wise, it's not an option for Sam and Dean, maybe. Maybe not. [laughs] But like, you know, we're- that's like a concern that we have. But also like, does he not understand that like, they kill you.

C: [laughs] Yeah.

G: Like, you don't just die. You don't just like, go to sleep and die. Literally, hellhounds fucking ravish your body. [laughs] Maybe ravish is the wrong word. But like, they fucking- yeah. They kill you.

C: Right. And I guess the idea is that, "If John carved this guy's heart out and he's still alive, maybe there's invincibility built in with the immortality?" could be what Sam's thinking. But they never say that explicitly. So it is very confusing. It's like, sure. Dean could live forever. But like, that's only if hellhounds don't tear him apart, which they will. So yeah, it's stupid.

G: Yeah.

C: So Dean realizes that Sam knew the whole time that this was Doc Benton. And he says, sounding so betrayed, "So the whole zombie thing... you were lying to me?" [both laugh] And I know this argument is not about just Sam lying about the zombie thing specifically, bu the way the script is written, it just seems like Dean is so sad that Sam let him think there could have been a zombie chase-

G: There was never a zombie.

C: - but there was never a chance that he could have fought a zombie specifically.

G: He played The Last of Us and he was like, "I want to see a zombie. For real!"

C: For real. Yeah.

G: Yeah. An interesting part of this is that Dean says that, "If I like, backtrack on this deal, you die, you fool. You will be dead." And Sam is like, "Then I'll take the magic pill, too." [C laughs] And it's like, you guys are so funny.

C: So stupid.

G: So stupid!

C: Yeah, I do- like, in a different franchise with a different tone, like, this is an interesting idea, the idea that you would want your brother to live so much that you would keep him alive as a Frankenstein, like, throughout the centuries, and you would do it too, and you guys would kill people together to take their organs and shit. Like, that is an interesting premise for a story. But not this one. Like, we know these guys. They're not doing that.

G: Yeah. They're not. Yeah.

C: Oh, Dean calls Doc Benton "Slicey McHacky," which I guess-

G: I love that.

C: - which is great, and I guess it's just a side of like his emotional distress during this time that he can't come up with a good joke. [G laughs]

G: Yeah.

C: So Dean says, "You're fucking stupid. The only thing we can do is kill the demon who owns the contract." And Sam says, "Okay, we don't have the Colt, and we don't know who it is." Dean says, "Well, I'll just shoot the hellhounds before they kill me." And Sam says, "Well, I'm staying here," and Dean says, "No, you're not. I'm not gonna let you." Sam goes, "You're not gonna let me?" And Dean repeats, like, "No, I'm not gonna let you." And then Sam goes, "Well, how are you gonna stop me?" Soo true! I've missed this. They haven't parted ways in a while.

G: Yeah.

C: Yeah. And Dean's like, "Okay, fine. Well, I'm going. So if you want to stay, you should stay." And like, at this point, they're both like, slightly teary, and Dean like slowly walks towards the door, and Sam's not looking at him. And then he goes like, "Sammy. Be careful." And Sam says, "You, too." And then Dean leaves. This didn't feel earned. Like, in context, this is an emotional thing, because Sam could die on this case today, and Dean is probably going to die in 3 weeks, so the fact that they're separating at all at this point means something. But the argument itself feels stupid, and so the teariness and sad music-

G: Yes, because the case is stupid! [laughs]

C: Yeah. It's just stupid.

-

G: Yeah. Anyway, we go to Rufus's house! Where we like, don't see Rufus immediately. What happens is Dean is like, in the front porch, and we see that the house is, or like, the entire property, is monitored by security cameras. And like, it's an intercom-ed house. Didn't they visit a house that was just like this?

C: Oh, yeah, the house of that hunter who Meg-possessing-Sam killed.

G: Oh, yeah yeah yeah. So we can assume that a lot of hunters who have a home, like a permanent residence, act like this. But basically, Dean introduces himself. And at every single point, Rufus just goes, "What?" [C laughs]

C: Or he goes, "So?"

G: So Dean goes, "Hi!" Yeah, Rufus is like, "What?" And Dean's like, "Oh, I'm Dean Winchester." Or no, he says like, "Hi, Rufus," and Rufus is like, "Well. I mean, okay. What?" And Dean is like, "I'm Dean." And he goes, [both] "So?"

C: Literally!

G: Like, literally, "I'm Dean Winchester." "So?" And then, you know, it just keeps going like this. It's like, "You called this morning about this British girl who contacted you. Do you know where she is?" And Rufus is like, "Yeah, I do." And, Dean asks, "Could you tell us where she is?" And he just goes, "No." And it's like, this goes on for a while. He's uncooperative until Rufus actually opens the door. And- at some point, Dean says like, "Look, Rufus. Look, man." And then Rufus opens the door and says, "I am not your man." [laughs] Like, he says, "Don't 'Look, man' me. You're the one who's knocking at my door." And I like this because- actually, I'm not sure I like this. But Dean does say like, "Sir," to him-

C: Yeah, "Sorry, sir."

G: And I don't think it was sarcastic. So that one, I was like, "Oh." 'Cause, you know, Dean's relationship with the word "sir," quite loaded in the world of Supernatural.

C: Is it? Or just because he calls John that?

G: Yeah.

C: Okay, yeah. I guess he has never called anyone else sir? Has he called anyone else sir?

G: Not anyone else. I don't think.

C: Okay.

G: Yeah. And yeah. And then Dean takes out the bottle of Johnnie Walker: Blue Label, and he asks like, "So, is this bottle of scotch considered good?" And this is the first time that we see Rufus smile.

C: Yeah!

G: And he lets Dean enter the house.

C: Yeah. The smile is beautiful, and I see it giffed a lot, this specific scene.

G: This specific scene, yes.

C: Does Rufus have his gay little earring in this episode, or is that only in flashbacks.

G: I don't think so! I don't think so. I think it's a flashback sitch.

C: Okay. Sd.

G: Yeah. Anyway, they start drinking and Rufus is like, praising this drink, which is, I suppose. Do you think this is sponsored?

C: I don't know.

G: Because it should have been. [laughs] They should have gotten paid for this shit.

C: Yeah. It worked on you.

G: Because it works. Worked on me. And they they talk about Bela. And Rufus just says like, "She wanted to buy a couple of things, but it's gonna take me a while to find those things, so she's around town." And Rufus just asks Dean, like, "Why are you looking for this girl when you're about to die in 3 weeks?" And Dean is like, "How do you know that?" Rufus just says, "I know a lot of things about a lot of people."

C: Also, the camera angles are really weird in this scene. Like, it's incredibly close up on both of their faces.

G: You think so?

C: Yeah, I think so. I feel like the vibes feel off.

G: Off as in, supposed to make you feel uneasy?

C: I don't know. I think, well the camera, like, their faces like, fill up the entire screen whenever it goes to both of them, which I think just makes it seem like you're supposed to think the conversation's very intense or something.

G: Well, yeah.

C: I mean, I didn't think it was that intense. I don't think it's worth that close of a shot.

G: Yeah. Rufus just says like, "The gun is not gonna save you, and the reason why it's not gonna save you is, even if you get out of this one, you're never getting out of the life. There's no happy ending," etc etc.

C: He dies on a hunt.

G: He says a line- Dean? Or Rufus?

C: Rufus.

G: [laughing] Well, you don't care about Dean, so it is Rufus.

C: Yeah, Rufus!

G: Yeah. I mean, the line that I liked here was, "I'm what you've got to look forward to if you survive." And then he follows that up with, "But you won't."

C: So true.

G: But just the first part, and, like, the entire sentence is good. The entire statement is good, I feel. But like, just the first line, just the first part where it's like, "I'm what you got to look forward to if you survive." And we know that Rufus- Does he really die on a hunt? I don't remember.

C: Yeah, like-

G: How does he die?

C: He dies in- I don't know. Season 6? Or something? 7? I don't know. A hunt.

G: 6, yes. Well, he dies on a Sera Gamble season. That's for sure.

C: Yeah.

G: Because, like, I remember being upset and thinking like, "It's Sera Gamble!" [both laugh] Or somebody pointing it out then. I'm not sure.

C: So what I know about Rufus's backstory is that he and Bobby haven't spoken for 15 years because Bobby called Rufus's daughter to be the getaway driver on a case, and Rufus's daughter died on the case.

G: And then the daughter died, yeah.

C: And is that when Rufus retired?

G: Perhaps so. But also, I mean, that's the reason why they stopped talking, right?

C: Yeah.

G: So I think maybe we are to assume that like, that is also the reason why he retired. And then another backstory that they have for Rufus is that he was the one who exorcised- like, he helped out with the demonic possession of-

C: Oh, Bobby's wife.

G: Right? Right?

C: Ohh.

G: Let's go to his Wiki. Yeah. He like, introduced Bobby to the supernatural.

C: Oh, wow, yeah. Huh! That's interesting.

G: Also, it says, "A woman important to Rufus, possibly his daughter." So it's not clear, apparently.

C: Huh. Okay.

G: Cool.

God, he died during a stupid-ass season. I'm so sad. I mean, Bobby also died in a stupid-ass season, but like, at least Bobby's death was a very significant plot point. I do love like, the parts of Season 7 that are good. Like, it's a hell of a season to get through, and I do kind of dread it, but also like [laughs], when Cas comes back, that's one hell of an episode.

C: Mm.

G: And like, the entire- yeah. And there's a lot to be said about Cas's characterization when was-

C: When he took on Sam's-

G: When he took the trauma, yeah yeah yeah. So I'm excited to get to it. But I'm not excited for the first [both] 16 episodes of that season. [laughs] Yeah.

-

C: So we cut to Sam, and he's driving a rental car.

G: He has a rental car!

C: He's in his rental car era, just like in last episode.

G: Yeah. I was super happy when I- because I didn't notice at first it was a rental. Like, obviously, it was a rental, but like, it didn't click. I only noticed when he was getting smashed to the [C laughs] car later, and he's trying to like, do the- [laughing] I don't even know what the parts of the cars are called. But like, the stick shift. He was trying to do the stick shift, and I was like, "Oh, this is not the Impala's stick shift. Oh my god! He's in a rental, baby!" And I was so happy! It's the little joys.

C: Okay, I knew immediately that it was a rental, but I felt like it was very obvious when he parks like, in the scene, and he pulls down like you know, the top thing with the mirror in it, and it has the rental company's logo on it. [G laughs]

G: So real.

C: But I don't know. I guess you missed that part.

G: No. I know. I mean, I knew, but I wasn't like, ecstatic about it. I only was ecstatic about it when it became like a very interactive- [laughs] when it became an interactive prop in the scene. I was like, "Oh, he's using the rental car to get away from this scene. How cool, how fun! He's literally the rental car guy."

C: Yeah. I'm glad to see Sam driving again.

G: Yeah!

C: So he's going into the forest alone, and then we cut back to Rufus, and Rufus tells Dean that Bela's staying in Hotel Canaan, Room 39, and he says that there are things that Dean doesn't know about Bela. And Rufus is like, "Uh huh. 'Cause I know things." Rufus lifted Bela's fingerprints, but he didn't get anything because she burned them off years ago. Which is so cool of her.

G: But you can do that, right?

C: I don't know. Can you?

G: Like, they grow out. Like, even if you burn them.

C: I guess she could regularly be burning them.

G: Uh-huh. This is a plot in Ace Attorney as well, so I recognize the shout-out, [C laughs] and I respect it.

C: So true. And then Rufus asks, "Did you do her ear?" So then Dean's doing a joke thing about like, "I'll try anything once but that sounds uncomfortable." But Rufus means like, "No, like, a photo of her ear," because they're also unique to human beings. So he got a shot off of the security camera of Bela's ear, and he sent it-

G: (s that true?

C: Oh, that ears are unique?

G: Yeah.

C: It's a plot point in the Elementary episode "Ears to You," and I think also, perhaps, in a Sherlock Holmes original story. So maybe.

G: Damn. But like, you know how handwriting is a plot and shit, but like, it's not actually a conclusive thing.

C: That's true. Yeah.

Rufus had a contact in England send him some files about Bela based off of the ear picture. And he hands those files over to Dean.

-

G: Sam is now in the cabin, and he finds the guy from- the heart guy. And he checks his vitals. He checks the guy's-

C: Pulse?

G: - pulse, and, you know, he's dead. So he moves to this other bed. Another body, this woman who has maggots all over her arm, as we mentioned. She apparently has missing skin. The transcript says she is missing skin. So this guy literally took skin from this woman, and like-

C: [laughs] Not a lot of skin, even. Like, I don't know. 10 square inches, max?

G: First of all, you kill a guy. Why don't you take his skin also? He's already dead.

C: Yeah. You are waiting resources here. [G laughs]

G: You need to be efficient! And yeah.

C: You are not cutting costs. You are not like, making the bottom line.

G: Literally. This is bad governance. [both laugh] But Sam checks her pulse, and she gasps to life. And Sam tries to comfort her and all that. The doctor ends up going to them because of all the noise. But when he gets there, Sam and the girl are gone, and they are on their way to the car. And as Sam places her into the car, Dr. Benton comes out and smashes him to the-

C: Wheel?

G: I don't know the English. The wheel, yeah. And [laughs]- me, "I don't know the English," and it's literally "the wheel." [laughs]

C: All good.

G: Whatevs.

C: Whatevs.

G: And then Sam keeps on trying to drive. But, you know, shit happens. At some point, he couldn't do the stick shift, and I was like, "It's because it's a new car. That's why." Poor Sam. He has never held a car that is older than 1990 in his hands. Although I guess it's not that old at the time.

C: You mean younger than 1990?

G: Yeah, no, he- Yeah, you're right. [laughs] Sorry!

C: All good.

G: Wait. When was the Impala?

C: 1967?

G: '67. Jesus Christ, it's old as shit! How is this car running? Maybe they should consult the car for immortality tips. [both laughing] It's so fucking old.

C: Wait, you didn't even mention that Sam literally runs the guy over with the car.

G: Oh, I mean, duh! And then his head like, dislocates, and then he pops it right back in.

C: Yeah. Good for him. Why didn't they do a Ship of Theseus thing with this guy at all? Like, did he ever have to replace his brain?

G: Interesting. Maybe that's the one thing that he kept. 'Cause like, how are you gonna-?

C: But also like, brains deteriorate with age.

G: That's true.

C: Like, if he is actually several- like, over a hundred years old, he probably wouldn't be talking as coherently as he is right now if he kept the same brain. Yeah. I guess they didn't want to deal with that.

G: Yeah. This episode is way stupider than that concept. [laughs]

C: Yes.

G: I'm so sorry! I'm just insulting this case. Like, the episode is not bad. It's just the case that's bad.

C: I think it's bad, and the case is bad. [G laughs]

G: Okay.

-

C: So Bela goes into a motel room, and Dean is there. And, you know, he shoves his elbow into her throat and demands the Colt. And, you know, he's being all intense or whatever. And Bela says like, "I have sold it. It is gone." Okay, for this whole season, I assumed that Bela was stealing the Colt to protect against the hellhounds. Did she actually sell it?

G: She gave it to the demon.

C: Oh, in return for changing her deal to kill Sam. Okay, that makes more sense.

G: No- to- yeah yeah yeah.

C: Alright. So there's this like, really awful like, quick moment where Dean is like, taking Bela's gun from her, but like, he does it by grabbing her by the waist, and she goes, like, "What the hell are you doing?" And Dean says, "Don't flatter yourself."

G: Yeah, I hated that.

C: Like, "You're not hot enough for me to rape you"? Like, what? I hate it.

G: I hate it as well.

C: Yeah. So yeah, Dean searches the entire room for the Colt. And, you know, when Bela tries to head for the door-

G: Moves, yeah.

C: He shoots next to her head.

G: Shoots! He literally shoots!

C: Yeah. Like, there is a bullet hole in the door. Surprised that no one called anyone at hearing a gunshot in this fancy hotel.

G: Nobody give a shit. Nobody give a shit in this hotel.

C: [laughs] Nobody give shit. Yeah. [G laughing]

G: Why is that funny? Like, every time we say, I'm like, "Literally nobody give a shit." [laughs] Anyway.

C: It's just a good sentence. And, okay, so Dean's like, "Okay, no gun." So he points his gun at her head and says that he is going to kill her. Bela tells Dean that he's not the cold-blooded type, and Dean goes, "Oh, you mean like you? True. I couldn't imagine killing my parents." We knew from-

G: You can. [laughs]

C: Yeah. First, yeah. Second, we already know from "Red Sky at Morning" that he knew that she killed a family member.

G: Yeah.

C: Is it just that much worse for it to be her parents specifically?

G: Yeah, I think so. Maybe to him, that's worse.

C: To Dean. Yeah. Do you think that that's like, one of the last straws for him, or like, was he already at last straw?

G: No, I mean, he wasn't. Because he doesn't shoot her.

C: Yeah, that's true.

G: But I think it's just fascinating that Dean never learns. Because, like, the last time he does this was like, "Oh," in the last hellhound episode-

C: Yeah, in "Crossroad Blues," yeah, you mentioned that in "Red Sky at Morning" as well. That he assumes the worst of people.

G: Like, yeah. I mean, haven't you learned, dude? But like, Bela doesn't try to defend herself here. 'Cause like, what happens is like, Dean is like, "Yeah, your parents died in a car accident, and people suspected stuff, but everything was too crispy, like everything was burned up so they couldn't tell. And you, young Bela, or should I say-" And it was another name. I don't know what was it.

C: Abby.

G: Abby. Like, "You inherited all of their money." And then we get a flashback.

C: Yeah. And the flashback is of Bela, and she- and the actor they got, like, that is literally her. Good job. So yeah, she's like, in her room, sitting on the bed crying. And we don't see very much. We just see, like, the legs and shoes of a ma walk into her room, and then we cut outside the door, and he's closing the door, and she's like, very afraid.

G: Yeah.

C: That is all we get, but like, the implication is like childhood sexual abuse by her dad.

G: Sexual abuse, yeah.

G: Like, I've mentioned this at our beginning-of-Season-3, like post-Season 2, beginning of Season 3 episode. But I remember this scene so well because it scared me so much as a child. And like, this one- because our two flashbacks are this and the swing one, right? And it's just, now that I watch it, I'm like, "It's so so so lightly, lightly implied." Like, I don't know. I guess when you're younger, or, you know, at different times in your life, shit just hits different. It doesn't matter really the age, but it just so happens sometimes, like. I don't know. Maybe this episode really just impacted me a lot. Like, maybe I watched this during a day where I was really paying attention. Because I remember the Blue Label so much, and this scene really really scared the crap out of me. Because it was the one violence against someone that was like, real, you know.

C: Yeah.

G: Like, this could happen to people in real life.

C: Right.

G: And I guess that, like, it really humanized Bela for me. Like, I already liked her prior to this, obviously. And it's like, if you like her because of this, like why. But like, you know, like, there's a a perspective of like, "Okay, she went through a very human struggle." It wasn't like, you know how Sam and Dean, like, their trauma is that a demon killed their mother? [both laugh] And it's like, Bela having her trauma be something so rooted in, like, not the supernatural.

C: Yeah.

G: I don't know, like, it was more like impactful to me when I watched it the first time.

C: Yeah. That makes sense.

G: I think the fact that she was 14. I guess that was like, that was like super, you know. Because it was a closer age to my age now. Like, I've talked about this, but like, now I watch Supernatural. And at the beginning, I really was like, "just like Sam for real!" 'cause I was around his age. I am around his age. But, like, you know, when you're younger, and it's Bela, and it's like, "Oh, I am also a child. And this child has suffered so much." And it's like, "Oh, okay, that's sad."

C: Right. Yeah. And her being 14 is also when we learn that she is 24.

G: Yes.

C: Which surprised me a lot. For some reason I thought she was like, 30, you know?

G: No no no. I think 24 is reasonable for her.

C: I guess. But like, she's a homeowner. And I know it's just because she's rich. [G laughs] But like,

still!

G: Literally. Every 24-year-old should be struggling in life.

C: Yeah. No 24-year-olds are allowed to pay mortgages, regardless of- or, she's not even paying a mortgage. She just owns her house, I'm sure.

G: She just has a house, yeah.

C: Right. But I guess it's- I just didn't think that she was younger than Dean, but she is.

G: Oh, that's an interesting way to look at it. She is younger than Dean.

C: Yeah, by like-

G: Because Dean at this point is 28.

C: Yeah, by 4 years she is younger than Dean.

G: Yeah.

C: She's only, what? One year older than Sam?

G: Yeah.

C: Like, yeah, I feel like that also humanizes her for me a lot. Because I am close to her age, and I am a loser. So I choose to believe that she is also a loser girl who is better at hiding it.

G: Exactly. Yeah.

C: Right. So yeah, she doesn't defend herself. Like, we see this flashback, but she says, like, "Yeah, my parents were lovely people, and I killed them to get rich because I can't be bothered to give a damn, just like I don't care what happens to you." And, right, Dean, like, pushes her by the throat into the door again, and we see there's like, a bundle of twigs and stuff above the door that moves. And he tells Bela, "You make me sick." And she says, "Likewise." So Dean like, points his gun at her forehead, and she looks for a second, and then after a little bit, when Dean's still holding it, she closes her eyes, which I also liked a lot as a character moment. 'Cause like, yeah, like you can't be cool during the moment when you think you are going to die for real. Like, you will be afraid. And then, yeah. Dean sees the twigs, and then he changes his mind. And okay, I know we're supposed to think it's just because he's decided that he can't do it. But like, this is also the moment when he realizes that she's gonna die tonight anyway, right?

G: Yeah.

C: So like, I feel like if she wasn't gonna die tonight anyway, I think maybe he would have shot. I don't know.

G: Yeah. I agree. Like, it's the realization that she is gonna die anyway that stops him.

C: Yeah. Not because he's a good person or whatever. Which is kinda-

G: Yeah yeah yeah. It's kinda- [clicks tongue]

C: [mocking voice] It's not very nice!

G: [mocking voice] It's not niice. It's not nice.

C: He doesn't treat her very niceys.

G: Yeah!

C: So Dean tells her that she's not worth it. And then he leaves, and we use linger on Bela for a bit, and it's revealed that she got the receipt for the motel they're staying at. And then she goes on the phone and tells someone, "It worked. He found me." Which means that the visiting Rufus thing was a trap. And she said, "Sam wasn't with him, but I know where they are."

-

G: Sam is in the motel room, and he has a notebook out. He's reading it while he's calling.

C: Oh, we didn't mention, he stole the journal of Dr. Benton when he went into the cabin.

G: Yeah. Anyways, Sam asks if Dean got the Colt, and Dean says, [angry] "What do you think?" [laughs] Which is- you know how that's how I respond to like, anything my parents ask me. [C laughs] So real. Sam asks if Bela is dead, which you mentioned earlier is like, such a testament to their stance on killing human beings. But Dean says, "She deserves to die a dozen times, but I couldn't do it." And then, Dean says, "I'm really screwed, Sammy. You were right. Bela was a goose chase. The Colt's gone, and I'm really screwed this time." And then, Sam, not paying attention to this completely emotional, completely honest, emotional scene from Dean, just goes, [airheaded] "No, you're not. I mean, I found the cabin, and I found the notes, and I think you can survive through science, baby! [both laugh] I found his lab book. It has the formula."

C: [laughing] "The formula!" What-

G: And Dean was like, "Do I have to drink like, blood from a baby's skull?" And Sam's like, "No no no. It's not black magic! There's so sacrifice. It's just science. Extremely weird science."

C: My question here is, in a world where the supernatural is actually real, what is the difference between magic and science?

G: One, true. And I cannot answer that. Two, let's talk about, quote, "science," right? [C laughs] Because, you know, I have a family member who is a kidney transplantation. And, like, he reached 10 years last year, and that is a celebration. Because like, when he got the transplant, the doctors were like, "You'll last 10 years, and after that, you're probably gonna die."

C: Geez.

G: [laughs] Which is, you know, a lot. But the fact that this guy is like, everything in his body is transplanted, and he is alive since 1816, you know, even before that-

C: Is he testing these blood types before he like, takes their organs?

G: [laughing] I know! Like, is he on insane levels of immunosuppresents so this liver and kidney and patch of skin and heart are not rejected by his body? Like- it's insane. It's just so stupid. Just make it like, he has a magic spell or whatever, and then he also needs the transplants. Like, you are a show called Supernatural. [C laughs] Be fucking for real [laughs], as, you know, people say nowadays.

C: Yeah.

G: It's just so stupid. It's so stupid!

C: Right. I just- if they literally found a "scientific cure for death," like there should have been at least like a little bit of a discussion over like, "Is it right of us to destroy this? Like, this could save people from disease?" Blah blah blah. "No, humans shouldn't play God." Like, just say something about it. Why is it science? The only point of it being science is so that, like, there's more of a reason for Dean to be okay with this, so it's like, more of a big deal when he says no. But like, obviously, he's gonna say no, because it involves killing people! [laughs]

G: Yeah, it's so stupid.

C: Yeah.

G: So stupid.

C: Right. Was "Mystery Spot" and Sam being- Okay. First, was Sam down to actually bleed someone to death to summon the trickster in "Mystery Spot"? Or do you think he was just saying it-

G: It was like one of those like, "Is he? Or was he in on it all along?" type of situation.

C: Right. So I guess this is not that out of character for Sam if we take "Mystery Spot" Sam to be-

G: As for realsies.

C: Yeah, for realsies. But yeah, this is just still so stupid.

G: Yeah. Anyway, as Sam speaks, he gets chloroformed. Dun-dun-dun!

C: Dun-dun-dun.

-

C: So we cut to Sam inside of the doctor's cabin, and there's tape around his eyes to like, keep them open. Is this- is this screenshot used in the Perfume Genius- never mind. It's not. [both laughing]

G: So real.

C: For context, if anyone doesn't know, if you don't mind eye horror, look up "Perfume Genius, Substack, Last Friday, I had my eyes removed by Jared Padalecki."

G: I feel like our target audience knows about this and don't need any additional input from us, so- [laughs]

C: Yeah. It's so good. I'm going to re-read it after this.

G: [laughs] I have not read it. I have not read it, but I trust that it is an amazing work of creative writing.

C: Yeah. [laughs] Of RPF?

G: [laughs] Yeah. Anyway-

C: Anyway. So the doctor's there, and he's talking to Sam. He's like, "Hey, don't worry. The odds of you coming out of this alive are very high!" And, you know, he's monologuing about how "You think i'm a monster, but I've never done anything that I didn't have to do. I just have to replace things when they go bad, like my eyes. Also, I remember your dad cutting out my heart, and that was fucking annoying. I stole his journal from you somehow, and this is some kind of fun family reunion." And he gets out a fucking scooper to scoop Sam's eye out. I hate eye horror. I hated to see this.

G: Yeah.

C: And I think he actually like- he like, starts digging it in, right? Like, there's blood that starts happening before Dean shoots-

G: No!

C: No?

G: No, I don't think so. It's just very, very close.

C: Okay, yeah, maybe it was like a shadow that I saw as a cut or something.

So Dean has appeared. He's shooting. Oh, also, Dean got here in time because he- like, Sam was on the phone when he got chloroformed, so Dean would have heard Sam yelling. So we get a pre-"Laz Rising" scene where Doc Benton is coming at Dean, [G laughing] Dean's shooting at him, nothing's happening, and then Dean stabs him in the heart with a knife. [laughs]

G: They did it first. They did it first.

C: Yeah. [laughing]

G: They were in love here. [laughing]

C: Yes, they were in love here.

So Dean's like, "Oh, yeah, I know that like due to immortality, this knife, like, doesn't, actually do anything, but actually, it's fine, because I dipped it in chloroform first. It is sending chloroformed blood all throughout your body!" And then Doc Benton pass it out.

G: Collapses! Yeah. And then Dean is like, just- like, when Doc Benton wakes up, Dean is over him, and he's, you know, putting his act of like rough, tough guy. Doc Benton is saying, "You don't need to kill me. I can read the formula for you! [C screams] Immortality." He says, "You know. Immortality. Forever young. Never die." Like- [laughs]

C: Thank you, dictionary.com.

G: Well, first of all. Look at this guy.

C: He looks like shit.

G: One look at him [laughs], he does not look forever young. At all.

C: Yeah. He looks old.

G: He looks- is this rude? He looks like the guy who died from the royal family. [both laughing] What was his name?

C: Prince Philip?

G: Is this rude? Is this bad?

C: No. [laughs]

G: I think his name is Prince Philip, but if it's not, I'm so sorry. It literally is Prince Philip. He literally looks like Prince Philip before he died. Oh my god, the queen is also dead, right?

C: Yeah.

G: RIP. I feel like we talked about that in the podcast.

C: Yeah, because Tamara was in the episode following the queen's death.

G: [laughing] Yeah. So real. She was responsible for it.

C: Yes, thank you.

G: Well, Dean is very against this, but Sam pulls him aside and says, like, "You're gonna be in Hell in 3 weeks if we don't do anything, so might as well try to do something. And it's gonna buy us more time. Just think about it." And Dean is very adamant that it's a no for him. And he says, "He isn't living. This is simple to me. It's black or white. Human, not human. And Doc Benton's a freaking monster. I would rather go to Hell."

C: Fascinating stuff.

G: Yeah.

C: Dean's just changing the goalposts here.

G: Yeah.

C: Like, if it's genuinely just "science" keeping him alive, like, by Dean's previous definition, he is human. Dean's just decided to change his mind. Also, I don't- this is like an odd sentence to put in- 'Cause, like, Sera Gamble is the writer who's like, very interested in, like "Are humans-" or, "Are monsters actually human?" or like, "Are monsters actually people?"-type writing because, like, she's the one who started that with all the vampires. But that hasn't really been a feature of this season at all besides just them being okay with killing people now without explaining it. So I don't know. This is an odd thing. This is odd reasoning for Dean to have. I'm not sure what the themes and motifs they're going for here are. Because I think we're supposed to think he's right.

G: Anyway, what they do is they chloroform Doc Benton again. And then when he wakes up, he's inside of a coffin. And Sam and Dean are burying him alive basically, with the book on top of the coffin. And he's screaming the whole time like, "I can help you! Let me out! I can help you." And then, you know, they bury him.

C: Why wouldn't they burn the book? Someone could find it. Someone could find him, too.

G: Yeah. But like, I mean, what's the solution? Dump him in the deepest part of the ocean, just like [both] Dean for real.

C: I just- I do not believe that if they cut him up into tiny little pieces, the pieces would re-form into him. There's gotta be a way-

G: Yeah, it will crawl-

C: Yeah. There's gotta be a way to fully kill him. This feels like- I mean, this is on purpose just mean. I feel like they could have actually killed him, but they just wanted him to suffer eternally. Which like, okay, fair enough. Whatevs.

-

C: There's someone walking down a hallway wearing a black leather trenchcoat, and we pan up and see it's Bela. And she's in the motel that Sam and Dean were staying at. She goes into the room, and she has a gun. And there's like, lumps under both the beds, so it looks like both of them are sleeping under the covers, and she just shoots into the piles.

G: It's obvious-

C: Yes, it is pretty obvious. Which I was like, "Oh my god! Really?" But like, after we find out what her deal is, then I'm like, "Okay, yeah, fair." So she pulls back the covers, and there is no Sam and Dean. They are like, sex dolls, but like-

G: Inflatable.

C: Just terrible, low-quality, inflatable sex dolls. And my favorite part about these sex dolls is that one is blonde and one is brunette. Like, they went and bought sex dolls for this prank, and they were like, "Their hair colors have to match ours." [G laughing]

Yeah. This was not necessary. They could just put a fucking pillow under there.

G: Literally.

C: It feels like- I guess they could have done this with a man too.

G: It feels like such a gag for-

C: A very serious scene.

G: - for a scene that precedes a very serious reveal.

C: Right. But I- the thing about the end of this is, I'm not sure if we're supposed to feel like, triumphant. Like, are we supposed to be like, "She got what was coming for her!" Like, coming to her, whatever. Like, what are we supposed to feel?

G: No, I don't think so. We're supposed to feel empathy for her.

C: Yeah, which is the point of the flashback. But also I think the script for this ensuing phone call is so terrible that it's hard for me to tell what they're going for.

G: Yeah yeah yeah.

C: So the room gets a call, and it's Dean. And oh, by the way, it's 11:56PM right now in the Supernatural-verse. So Bela says like, "You don't understand." And Dean says, "Actually, I do understand, because, like, those herbs that I saw above your door, their purpose is to keep hellhounds away. And then I went and looked at what happened to your parents, and they died 10 years ago today. So you actually made a demon deal to kill them." And we get a flashback of young Bela, and she's on a swing set, and there's a little like, 8-year-old girl next to her. And she says like, "I can take care of them for you, and it won't cost you anything for 10 whole years." And her eyes turn red, which looks like shit, especially because the flashback is like, basically [both] black and white.

G: [laughs] Yeah. So stupid.

C: Like, okay, girl. Yeah. Also, Sera Gamble, like, wrote herself into a corner here where, like, I guess, canonically, 14-year-old Bela and this 8-year-old girl had to kiss at some point. But like, luckily, we don't have to see it. Just like we didn't see the Johnzazel kiss.

Yeah, Dean says that, "Okay, so you stole the Colt to like, try to use it to bargain your way out of your deal." And Bela says, "Yes." And Dean says, "But that wasn't enough." And Bela says, "I was able to use it to change the deal to killing Sam." And, right, at this point, Dean is going like, "Well, look at that! It's almost midnight! Hahaha! I love it when people die."

G: He's such an asshole!

C: Yeah. And this is when Bela is crying and asking for help. Dean says, "Sweetheart, we are weeks past help." Fucking sick of this guy. Okay, so this is when Bela's crying and saying that she doesn't deserve it. And Dean goes into like, lecture mode, where he's like, "Yeah, you don't deserve it. And also, if you'd just come to us sooner and asked for help, we could have taken the Colt and saved you." Could you have? Could you fucking have? You still have no idea who's holding the deals, Dean. It's true, if Bela told you who it was, then yeah, sure. And okay, I think this next line--Bela's crying, and she goes, "I know, and saved yourself." And I thought that was just the clunkiest shit ever.

G: It is.

C: Like did you- [fake-crying] "I know, and saved yourself. I know about your deal, Dean!" I feel like the only point of that line is to make her seem less sympathetic. Oh, "Let's just put in that it is all her fault that both of them are going to die." Even though I don't think that's true, and I don't think she would say that, and it's just a stupid sentence structure, and I'm sick and tired of Sera Gamble forever.

G: This entire scene makes me sad in the- I feel like for a character that we have grown to know in some way for an entire season, and this is how she just dies. And like, come on. It's sad because even her death is- I don't know.

C: Yeah.

G: It's sad because it's not done well and like- Actually, I was quite emotional when Dean was like, "We would have helped you if you asked." But I don't know, following that up immediately with Bela pointing out that, like, "You would only have helped me because it would have helped you too." [laughing] That made me laugh. I was like, "So real."

C: Oh, I didn't read it like that.

G: No, I mean, obviously, that's not- I don't think you're supposed to read it like that, but like, that's how I received it.

C: [laughs] Yeah, okay. That is pretty funny. Yeah. I don't- I was not emotional at like-

G: [laughs] Any point, yeah.

C: "We would have helped you." There's no reason for her to think that they would help her. Ever since, like, "Jus in Bello" or like, probably even earlier, the only thing that like they talk about on the phone is Dean saying, "The next time I see you, I'm gonna fucking kill you." [laughs] Why would she go to him for help?

G: Yeah.

C: So, right. She reveals that she knows who holds his deal, and her deal. Lilith apparently holds every deal. And Dean goes like, "Why should I believe you?" And Bela says like, "You shouldn't, but it's the truth." I just- just the fact that, like, her entire death, is her going, like, [fake-crying] "I'm a piece of shit! It's okay that I die because I'm just the worst person ever! Keep lecturing me, please!" Just makes it hard for me to believe that we're supposed to sympathize with her that much in this scene. Like, I do, because I like her. But, like- I don't know. This is like, a degrading way for her to die.

G: It is.

C: And I mean, this is not really worse than the way any, like, recurring character dies on Supernatural. Like, Henriksen had a absolutely nothing death. But I feel like Bela has been more of a fixture this season than any other recurring character that's died.

G: Yeah. But also, the whole deal with Supernatural is a lot of the time, they can't let side characters stand on their own. They always have to be like, connected to the Winchesters because, you know, it's the Winchester show. And like, that makes it difficult to do scenes like this. Because even here, Bela's dying, and it's like, "We need to do exposition for Dean!"

C: Yeah, like, "She's gonna give him information for the plot! And that's gonna be her last act!"

Also, the thing about the her- Like, what is the timeline of her changing the deal. Because clearly, she hadn't changed it yet during "Jus in Bello" because-

G: What do you mean changed the deal?

C: Like, she hadn't been told to kill Sam yet by "Jus in Bello" because she wouldn't let him be taken to supermax prison where she could never kill him. At what point did she bargain with the demon? I don't know. I would have liked some more foreshadowing of the deal change.

G: Yeah.

-

G: But yeah, eventually, what happens is just, they hang up. Well, Dean says-

C: Well, Bela tells Dean that she's telling Dean so he can kill Lilith, and Dean says, "I'll see you in Hell." Which implies that he's not even gonna try to kill Lilith.

G: I don't like "I'll see you in Hell." Maybe if he said, "I'll see you," I would have liked it because it- I don't know. "I'll see you in Hell" feels so vindictive. Like, it still feels like, "Good for you that you're going into Hell."

C: Yeah, and I think that is what he is trying to communicate.

G: Yeah, and I hated it.

C: Yeah. Also, like, I don't know if in the next episode they try to go after Lilith. But, like, Dean saying that is like, "Oh, your dying wish is that I'm gonna kill Lilith? Well, too bad."

G: Tough luck!

C: "I'm specifically not gonna kill Lilith, and I'm going to go die because you want me to kill Lilith, so you should die thinking about how your last words were useless, and your dying wish will not be respected. Goodbye, girl."

G: Bye, girl!

C: Like, okay.

G: Yeah. And then she dies.

C: Yeah.

G: The clock strikes 12, and she hears dogs like, barking and howling and shit.

C: Yeah. End.

G: Okay. So what do we think about this episode? We've talked to a lot about what we thought about this episode, which is that it's-

C: Stupid?

G: Bad. [laughs]

C: Stupid.

G: Stupid case, and like, the non-case stuff is like, not that good as well. Yeah. Should we proceed to Best Line/Worst Line?

C: Sure.

G: I like Rufus's line about him being what Dean is looking forward for or to if he survives. Because I think there is some truth to that. Like, you know. It's about dying bloody, or like being so scared of everything even though you're not in it anymore type of situation. That makes me sad.

C: Yeah.

G: How about you? What's your best line?

C: There's not really many lines here that I like, but I think i'm gonna go with Bela telling Dean like, "Oh, like my parents were lovely people, and I killed them, and I got rich, and I can't be bothered to give a damn," because it's just very good, like, juxtaposed right next to the scene where we see the truth. And like, when she dies, we know that like this truth dies with her. Like, they're going to spend the rest of their lives thinking Bela just killed her parents for money, and that she's like, just the worst and like, feeling no remorse at all over her death, and like, it's only her and the audience who knows the truth. And I like that she decided to exercise that agency over how she wants to be remembered. Like that- yeah, that's not any of Dean's business. So yeah, he can think whatever he wants of her. Goodbye.

G: Yeah. My worst line is, "There's no blood sacrifice or anything. [C laughs] It's not black magic. It's just science!" Fuck my life.

C: [laughing] Yeah.

G: What was your worst line.

C: The "Yes, and saved yourself." [G groans] Just for the reasons I said.

G: Yeah, earlier. Okay! We have to do spreadsheets.

C: Yes. We do have to do spreadsheets.

G: So what's our sitch?

C: Huh. It's like- It just feels like in the past, when we were like, "This is like, due to some greater racism problem or greater whatever problem, but we don't know how to pin it on this episode specifically." Like, it feels like a that kind of a situation.

G: Regarding to what?

C: Like, Bela's death.

G: Mm. You think it's like a larger misogyny problem?

C: Yeah, I would say so. But I also don't know. Yeah. I don't know.

G: Hm. I- I mean. Because, you know, like, misogyny in Supernatural is like 5D chess.

C: Yeah.

G: [laughs] Like, there's the misogyny of the characters, and then there's the misogyny of the show. And then there's the misogyny of the fans and how the show reacts to that. And like, we've heard this over and over again, but like, a lot of the female characters in the show end up not being treated well because, like, the fan reception was poor. That type of situation.

C: Yeah.

G: And yeah. Do you want to give a point?

C: Oh, I guess- I think we could just give a point on the merit of the boob job line and the stripper suffocates a man with her thighs line. So yeah, let's just bundle all that together in 1 point. Like, the Bela storyline and then both of those things.

G: I mean- Well, I think I think the boob job line is supposed to be like, "Oh, these guys are assholes."

C: Yeah. That's true. Okay.

G: So I don't think that counts specifically, but I think the Bela part, we can give it- Like, they treat her with so much vitriol. [laughs] And I don't know. Maybe it's an equality thing! [both laughing]

C: Yeah, I mean, they never treat her as bad as Gordon.

G: Yeah. Like, if she was like a- I don't know. I feel like I can't solemnly give a point to this episode for misogyny.

C: Okay. Okay. So I guess are we- just zeros across the board today?

G: Yes.

C: Okay.

G: Interesting turn of events.

C: Wait, what about the "Don't flatter yourself" when she thinks he's gonna rape her?

G: Oh! Oh oh oh oh yeah yeah.

C: Okay. Let's put a point down.

G: Let's put that in. Let's put a point down.

C: Okay.

G: Yeah. Okay. What is our IMDb rating guess for this episode?

C: Huh. I don't- I thought it was stupid. And people do seem to pick up on when the cases are stupid.

G: I would say, I'll rate this an 8.0.

C: Okay. I'll go an 8.2? But yeah, I don't know. The last half of Season 3 has been weird in IMDb scores. So actually, maybe an 8.1.

G: 8.1. So- It's an 8.4!

C: Huh. Okay.

G: "Victorian horror."

C: Victorian? Like, the doctor?

G: 'Cause the doctor, yeah.

G: This one says, "Go to hell, Bela."

C: Okay. I mean, we're expecting some things like that.

G: "Bela Talbot is finally disposed, and I only regret that Dean had not had enough courage to kill her."

C: Cool

G: Oh, that makes me so sad! [laughs]

C: Cool. Someone asks, "Will Bela come back next season?" Literally! Will Bela come back next season?

G: "This is by far the worst actor I've ever seen." So real.

C: For who? The doctor?

G: Yes. [C laughs] I mean, if that was for Bela, [laughing] that would be a horrible thing to say.

C: Uh-huh. I can't believe people-

G: "The plot was just bad this episode."

C: Did the "Go to hell, Bela" person, like, not care about the backstory reveal at all?

G: The what? The "Go to hell, Bela" person?

C: Yeah. I feel like that was a attempt to make her sympathetic in her last episode, but I guess some people just don't care.

G: Yeah. Mm-hm. Some people just do not give a fuck.

C: Yeah.

G: Yeah. Well, I think that’s it for this episode of Busty Asian Beauties. Next week, we will be watching the season finale for Season 3, uh... [laughs] Season 3, Episode 16: "No Rest for the Wicked." Leave us a rating or a review wherever you get your poddycasties! [C laughs]

C: Yeah, that. [G laughs] Follow us on social media. We are on twitter at twitter.com/BeautiesPodcast and on Tumblr at bustyasianbeautiespod.tumblr.com. Our official tag is #BABPod, B-A-B-POD. Thanks to everyone who's donated to our Ko-Fi at ko-fi.com/bustyasianbeautiespod, and check out our Redbubble at babpod.redbubble.com. Also, submit questions to our Q&A-

G: Whoo!

C: Which will be open until- what day?

G: Whatever. It'll be open. [laughs] We'll announce how long it'll be open next week. How about that?

C: Yeah, yeah.

G: So yeah. Leave us a rating- No, it's not that. You can email us any feedback, comments, or inquiries at [email protected]. See you guys next time! [both] Bye!

[guitar music]

#transcript

[the-bjd-community-confess]

I recently joined a doll group. Within 2 hours I was blocked by a bunch of random people, I didn't even get to write my introduction yet because I didn't have time. I'm pretty much a hobby lurker, so I don't post on any social medias, but from looking at the group introductions, a lot of people are like that. I never interacted with anyone in the hobby ever, not on insta, twitter, tumblr, or elsewhere, in fact I don't use the Socmeds accs I have, beyond just random browsing. Just to make sure you understand: I never post anything, ever. So it can't even be that I did something "bad" anywhere else and someone found something like that. Nothing! 

 So now I'm just trying to figure out what I, an absolute hobby nobody, apparently did in those 2 hours of not writing my intro. Before someone asks, it's completely normal to not write your introduction, the rules stated you just needed to do it within your first week, or get kicked. And before you ask, I found out because someone told me, yep, straight up told me, after my intro and being ignored in the general chat, that someone in a long-term members channel mentioned that they blocked me and a bunch of people followed. Didn't say the reason as to why tho.

~Anonymous

#BJD #ABJD #BJD Confessions #Community Confessions #BJD Groups

[c0ffinshit]

✬ FAQ ✬

╭──────────.★..─╮

here is a list of questions i get asked a lot by fans and people in my real life about my writing.

╰─..★.──────────╯

Q: Who Do You Write For?

A: i write for a lot of characters, mostly for american actor ethan hawke including: ernst toller, the grabber, james sandin, edward dalton, tucker crowe, todd anderson, ellison oswalt. 

but i do write to write for other characters! you can check my master list for some other characters i’ve written for previously.

some that i haven’t written for but i wanna real bad are roman debeers from party down, steve harrington from stranger things (along with robin as well), lorne malvo from the fargo tv series, eric knox from the 2000 charlie's angels movie, and some characters from succession (kendall and roman). so, if you have any requests for any charcters i’ve listed, then send them in!

Q: Are Your Request Open?

A: currently, my request are open. but always check back there if that changes.

Q: What Is Your Favorite Work You Have Posted?

A: i love my latest fic “I Can See You” but also “Then I Saw Her” is a very close second.

Q: Do You Only Write Romance And Smut?

A: technically, no. i write a lot of things, even some original western work that i don’t plan on uploading on here. but if enough people ask, i’ll upload my non-fanfic work.

Q: Are You Accepting Tips?

A: currently, no. but check back here if that changes (but don’t worry, i’ll make a post about it if i ever do).

Q: Then If You Aren’t Accepting Tips, How Can I Support You?

A: well, reblogging and liking my posts is a huge help to a small writer like myself. but you can follow my other social medias so you can see updates and my silly shitposts.  

Q: What Other Social Medias Do You Have So I Can Ask For Requests Without Using Tumblr/Support You And Your Writing?

A: you can always message me on tumblr. my other social is my tiktok, which is just my edit account. and i got rid of my twitter forever ago but now i have a threads you can follow to actually find updates on your fav upcoming projects.

tiktok: occtaika

threads: c0ffinshit

Q: What Else Did You Write That’s Not On Tumblr?

A: yes i have! warning tho, none of them are good since some of them i haven’t updated since last year or even later lol.

late night wonders : larry johnson x reader (sally face)

but in his arms, i could forget : greg x sexworker!reader (succession) 

⭑･ﾟﾟ･*:༅｡.｡༅:*ﾟ:*:✼✿　　✿✼:*ﾟ:༅｡.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑

i hope i answered all of your hard-pressing questions, check out my introduction post for other information not including !! ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ bye bye 

love thy neighbor and treat each other with kindness!

#occtaika answers #fanfic #writer things #writers on tumblr #faq

[uncloseted]

how do i learn to think for myself and do my own research before forming my own opinions on issues? how do i find unbiased sources? i feel like i'm too easily influenced my own good. like if a blog i like say "bloobo beeping is bad and everyone who ever blobbed is a beep" i will start to think its true even though i dont know if it is or doubt it. especially if the person i admire and trust their opinion.

This is a great question! We often talk about how media literacy is really important, but we don't always talk about how to actually evaluate the information that we get.

Finding an Unbiased Source

The first thing I would suggest is checking out the Ad Fontes Media Bias Chart. This is a resource that ranks sources based on their left-right bias and how factual their reporting is. The sources that are at the top towards the middle and middle-left are generally trustworthy. The ones below the green line should be treated with caution, and may be trying to convince you to take a particular point of view. If you see a person talking about an issue on social media, it's best to assume that they're towards the bottom of the chart unless you have reason to believe otherwise (they're a journalist associated with a respectable news outlet, they're an expert in their field, etc).

Logical Fallacies

Once we know what sources are generally reliable, it’s important to understand how data can be distorted. This is a good introduction to some of the common logical fallacies that are used when trying to convince people of a point. Logical fallacies are common types of mistakes that people make when putting together an argument, and they're important to look out for when you're being introduced to a new idea. Logical fallacies are especially common on social media sites like Reddit and Tumblr, but they also appear in more “official” media like news articles and online publications. These include arguments like the Slippery Slope argument (“If we ban Hummers because they are bad for the environment eventually the government will ban all cars, so we should not ban Hummers.”), hasty generalizations (”even though it’s only the first day, I can tell this is going to be a boring course.”), begging the claim (”Filthy and polluting coal should be banned.”), and ad hominem attacks (”Green Peace’s strategies aren’t effective because they are all dirty, lazy hippies.”) among others. If you see a person using a logical fallacy to support their argument, it might be worth asking why they're resorting to that kind of tactic instead of letting the facts speak for themselves.

Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics: Data Manipulation

It's also really important to understand how data and statistics can be manipulated in order to support a given claim.  We see this a lot in the news lately- both sides of a debate appear to have equally valid "facts" that totally contradict one another. This is usually because one side (or both sides) are manipulating the statistics to make them look like they support the claim that's being made, even when they really don't.

For example, people will use “relative risks” to make a problem look bigger than it actually is.  Saying that murders have doubled sounds like a huge problem, but it’s not really that big of an issue if the number of murders went from 1 to 2.  Similarly, people will use “only x number of people” or “over x number of people” to make a problem sound bigger or smaller, even if the reality is that it’s the same number of people.  This powerpoint from UCSD does a good job of illustrating some of the more common ways that data is manipulated to prove a point. 

Graphs and other visuals can also be manipulated to make a problem seem bigger or smaller than it actually is.  For example, this graph was shown in Congress to convince people to defund Planned Parenthood in the US:

The red arrow shows abortions increasing over time and cancer screenings and other preventative services decreasing over time.  This isn’t an outright lie, but the graph above is actually two graphs overlaid and hasn’t been corrected for scale.  When you correct for scale, it looks more like this:

Which is a way different takeaway than the first graph had. 

When talking about statistics, it’s also important to remember that correlation does not equal causation.  This is a logical fallacy like the ones we were talking about before. If you want to be fancy, it's called "post hoc ergo propter hoc". It just means that someone is assuming that if ‘A’ happened after 'B’ then 'B’ must have caused 'A.' 

For example, here’s a graph of people who died by falling out of their beds compared against the number of lawyers in Puerto Rico.  At first glance, it might seem like these two are related in some way, since the graphs line up (they’re correlated).  But obviously, people dying by falling out of their beds has no impact on the number of lawyers in Puerto Rico or vice versa.  There’s no causal relationship between the two of them.

Once you understand the ways that media can be manipulated, it becomes easier to think critically about what you’re reading, hearing, or seeing. 

Some Questions To Ask Yourself

When you interact with something new, there are a few questions you should ask yourself in addition to keeping your eyes open for logical fallacies and data manipulation. 

Who is the author? What is their bias?

What is the publication? What is its bias?

What is the author's purpose for writing this article?

What is the author's point of view on this issue?

What is the author trying to convince me of?

What assumptions is the author making in this article? Try to challenge these claims in your own mind.

Be wary of articles that are using emotional words or manipulation in their headlines ("politician SLAMS innocent young girl for suggesting that families are important" or "Perverted teacher indoctrinates kindergarteners into CRT cult!"). Also be wary of articles that ask a question in the headline ("are teachers indoctrinating our children?" or "will playing video games give you cancer?"). The answer to any headline question is pretty much always "no".

If you can, look for other sources that corroborate what you’re reading (especially if it’s a social media post) and sources that challenge what you’re reading.  Getting a full picture of the issue is important in being able to critically interact with media even if you already know which side you think you agree with.  Try to consider alternative explanations for the issue and the larger context of what you’re reading about to prevent just taking the article at face value.

Lastly, it’s important to understand your own biases and how they might impact what you believe when interacting with new information.  Humans are prone to confirmation bias (interpreting new information as confirmation of our existing beliefs, or throwing out information that doesn’t mesh with our existing beliefs), and so it’s important to understand what your biases are in order to critically interact with new information.  The goal is to be open to new information but aware of all of the extraneous factors that complicate our relationship to media.  Many people see changing their mind as a weakness, but I see it as the ultimate strength.  How great is it that we can grow and change the more we learn?  How great is it that every day, we have the opportunity to be just a bit better than we were yesterday?  Being able to admit that we were wrong is important for emotional growth, and I wish more people were willing to do it.