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#and it’s frustrating because at the very least my *counselor* should be on my side because she’s my counselor! her job is to support me!
eggs-can-draw · 1 year
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Why did you two angst it?! This was a cute idea, not Shuichi being quiet as Kokichi bullies him! I said one-sided rivalry! You know what it means? That the other doesn't even realize it's a rivalry! I mentioned adults smiling at Kokichi and calling Shuichi his friend, making him more mad, because I was picturing them seeing Kokichi's behaviour as classic pigtail pulling since again Kokichi probably just doesn't know how to act around somebody he likes because he doesn't get to see an example at home. I had this scenario of them both telling their respective parents about their playtime at dinner time and having very different narratives, Shuichi says they played tag, made funny faces at each other and had a tickle fight, I lost but it still was fun, it's nice to have a friend I can do those things with, and Kokichi's version is I chased him down, he turned out to be immune to my scary faces, as expected of a worthy nemesis, so I had to use my special attack and tickle him until he couldn't breathe, so that's a battle won, for my next plan I need to enlist your help. And then he gets Komaeda to help him make a glitter bomb, which Shuichi ends up perceiving as Kokichi greeting him with confetti the next time they meet and it goes on. For about two years before they start school, but when they become SESLs uh oh, everybody wants to be Shuichi's friend, but that's his nemesis and he should be focusing on chasing Kokichi, and at school there are none of Kokichi's trusted adults that he would listen to or talk about what troubles him at all, and Shuichi's new friends don't like Kokichi very much, so what he does is upping his ante, because any attention is better than no attention, and if his new pranks cross the line sometimes then that's totally on purpose, he is the supreme leader of EVIL after all
REGECT ANGST RETURN TO CUTE
I love this take on it so much because A) I am not crying and neither is Shuichi B) it’s so silly and keeps with the tone of the au a lot better (hurt and a lot of comfort)
I love how dedicated to it Kokichi is! He’s at the dinner table going in great detail on how he Terrorized his nemesis today and totally defeated him and Komaeda just smiles and goes “haha that’s nice Kokichi, make sure to eat your carrots”
Or the mini comic from the other day! Kokichi totally beams Shuichi with a snowball and Hajime is just like “Cmon Kokichi, we don’t do that to our friends, go apologize”
Nobody gets that that’s his rival! And once they all start at HPES it’s even WORSE because now he has all these people he has to compete with for HIS rival’s attention.
When it comes to trusted adults he feels he can confide in, I’m gonna pull a bit of a weird one. This just makes sense to me. I feel like out of every adult Kokichi knows, Gundham would take Kokichi’s rivalry completely seriously and treat it like the VERY SERIOUS matter that it is.
Don’t get me wrong, Kokichi loves Hajime and Komaeda, and they try their best not to hurt/invalidate his feelings, but they’re very much humoring him yknow? Like yeah Komaeda will help Kokichi make a glitter bomb for the next time he sees Shuichi but he doesn’t see it as the passionate declaration of war that it clearly is.
And it’s frustrating!! Take him seriously!! He tried to talk about it with teachers and they just tell him to stop being mean to Shuichi, TO WHICH SHUICHI COMES IN TO DEFEND HIM. RIVALS CANT DO THAT??????
And yknow? As the pranks get worse and the line gets lost in the dust, I feel like he’d get sent to the guidance counselor a ton and has just. Given up on getting them to get it yknow? He gave them chances ages ago and if they just aren’t smart enough to understand his evil machinations, then it sucks to be them. At the very least I think he still talks about it with Gundham, Komaeda, and Hajime, with the latter two at least PRETENDING to understand how him and Shuichi can CLEARLY never be friends.
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nope-body · 3 years
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#thinking about a comment my dad made a bit ago#that my accommodation for extended time is unusual for someone like me because it’s usually for people who have an intellectual disability#and it just. makes me so upset? and frustrated and just. sad.#upset because he doesn’t know what he’s talking about and is just assuming that he’s right (like always when it comes to my mental health)#he had no reason to say that!#that comment compounded with other comments he’s made about me relying on accommodations too much#and how I should be trying to overcome my challenges instead of just getting an accommodation#stuff like that#his comment with the context of what he’s said before just comes across as extremely ableist and uncaring#and I’m frustrated because I know exactly why he said it! because it’s what my counselors are saying to justify not wanting to give me the#accommodations I’m asking for#they’re using the excuse of ‘I’m too smart for accommodations’ essentially#and it’s frustrating because at the very least my *counselor* should be on my side because she’s my counselor! her job is to support me!#but instead I’m put in this box of ‘too smart to need help’ by the people who’s job it is to help me#and guess what! just because I’m smart does not erase my need for help!#just because my brain can work overtime to compensate for all the problems I have and still be able to do advanced work#*doesn’t mean that my brain isn’t doing more work than a neurotypical person’s and needs support so that it doesn’t have to*#and all their comments just reflect a basic misunderstanding of what ADHD even *is*#my parents and my counselor and the school psychiatrist- none of them understand that ADHD is a way of functioning and thinking#and that it goes down to the biological structure of the brain. that it is inherently different than a neurotypical brain and that#is not changeable#but they don’t get it! they think about it like anxiety or depression. where you can change your thought patterns and break out of it#that’s not how adhd works!!#and I’m sad because it’s the same problem with my parents again and again.#they’re demonstrating that they don’t care enough about me to learn about adhd#something that has been a problem with them ever since I was diagnosed#they just. don’t learn. they don’t educate themselves#and I want my parents to care about me! but they’re showing that they don’t. not really.#because they won’t even learn about a mental disorder that both their kids have. one that impacts them daily and will continue to for#the rest of our lives
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crackheadgeminibby · 3 years
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better for you
pairing: chris evans x female!black!reader
warnings: age gap, angst, language
word count: 2.7k
a/n: this lowkey sucks and is very poorly edited, i’m sorry but on the plus side, i surpassed 400 followers yesterday!! so thank you to those 400+ people🤍🤍
i do not consent to my work being copied in any way, shape of form or reposted on any other platform
not my picture
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You didn’t consider yourself a jealous person. Much less a jealous girlfriend. Not at all. Never had and you thought you never would.
You had practically raised yourself as your parents had always been more preoccupied with their jobs. You loved your parents, you really did, but when your high school counselor told you that you could graduate high school a year and a half early, you took the opportunity to start college immediately and move out of your parents’ house. This drastic change when you were so young made you become extremely independent. Which is why your relationship with Chris worked almost perfectly. You valued your independence, as he did his, and you respected his independence, as he did yours.
As a corporate lawyer that had multiple firms around the country, you traveled a lot, needing to meet with clients. Chris, as an actor, also traveled a lot.
You both trusted the other without a doubt at the beginning of the relationship despite that Chris was, at first, a little wary of being with someone as young as you. As a 24-year-old, he thought that you should be living your life, partying, sleeping with whomever you wanted without being tied down, but you had explained to him that despite your age, those were not the things that you wanted.
You and Chris were truly made for each other, knowing the other more than they knew themselves. You would even dare to call yourselves soulmates.
Which is why you could not fathom why you were in your current situation.
You had left early in the day for California, where you were overseeing the opening and start-up of your newest firm. Chris, on the other hand, had left 3 days ago to go on some trip his publicist had arranged for him. You hadn’t bothered asking what it was about, assuming that it was about ASP. Plus, you didn’t mind it: he had to do what he had to do.
But now, you couldn’t believe yourself.
You were sitting on your hotel bed, in a white and fluffy robe, fresh out of the shower. Your computer was open in front of you, the TV was blaring the news and you had your phone in your hand. It was almost 11pm but you had been doing this for at least 3 hours. All three electronics were talking about the same thing: Are Chris Evans and Lily James dating??
It was a bit your fault that people gave themselves the right to assume things like that, to be honest, since you had been the one to pressure Chris about keeping your relationship secret. You knew that people would talk and judge you for your 15-year age gap. You, personally, didn’t care and neither did Chris but his career was dependent on his public image and you didn’t want to hold him back, especially not at a pivotal moment in his life like right now.
So, you had agreed on telling your families and your very close friends and Chris had convinced you to let him tell his publicist, Megan. God, she fucking hated you. When Chris arranged for you guys to meet, she had called you “a walking, breathing PR disaster”. You had laughed it off calling her funny, but you knew that she was 100% serious. You really shouldn’t have been surprised that she would do something so fucked up at some point.
A bunch of different news outlets were pumping out new stories every 30 minutes, each article a little more detailed than the previous. It was all over the Internet and it seemed to be the only thing that people cared about today.
Considering the 8-hour difference between London and San Francisco, you hadn’t been able to talk to Chris at all since you got to your hotel. You weren’t even sure if you wanted to talk to him. He hadn’t even tried to talk to you. Why was he avoiding you and acting like he had something to hide?
You’re reading the latest Daily Mail article on your computer about how Chris and Lily apparently got to his hotel in the same car when you hear your phone ring on the nightstand. You don’t even bother looking at the caller ID as you reach for your phone, eyes still glued to your computer and answer,
“Hello?”
You hear a loud exhale on the other end of the phone before you hear Chris’ tired voice, “Baby, hi.”
You tense up slightly before asking, trying to seem nonchalant, “What’s up?”
“Have you watched the news today?”
You bite your lip, thinking, before replying, lying through your teeth, “No, why? What’s going on?”
Chris sighs again before answering, “Nothing, it’s fine. How was your day?”
You roll your eyes. Was he seriously not going to say anything?
“Fine, but it’s really late and I have to get up early tomorrow so good night.”
You hang up the phone before Chris can answer anything. You throw the phone at the end of your bed, frustrated beyond belief.
You continue to read the Daily Mail article as you hear a message coming in. You don’t bother to get up to pick up your phone as you see the message appear on your computer screen a couple of seconds later.
chris💙, 11:01pm:
Good night baby girl. Good luck tomorrow🤍
You groan loudly at his message. Even when he had pissed you the fuck off, his words still brought butterflies to your stomach.
You disregard his message and finish reading the article. You roll your eyes as you close your computer and get up to put it on the hotel desk. As you’re walking back to bed, you take your phone from the end of the bed and put it on its charger, ready to go to bed.
You’re not sure how you manage to fall asleep that night as your mind swirls with unending thoughts.
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When your alarm wakes you up at 6am the next day, you feel groggy, having slept very badly last night. Which was to be expected.
You get up and change while eating a protein bar before heading to the hotel gym: you needed to do something to get your energy up. Once you finish your workout, you head back to your room to get ready for the day.
When you get out of the shower, you open your computer and, having left the Daily Mail website open last night, you see a new article posted 2 minutes ago: Chris Evans and Lily James seen on a date in a London park.You groan loudly, closing your computer as you hear that your cell phone is receiving multiple texts.
You reach for your phone on the hotel desk and your eyes widen as you see your lock screen.
5 missed calls
12 messages
You open your Phone app seeing one call from Chris, two from your best friend, one from your brother and one from your mom.
You open the Messages app as a new message from your brother comes in.
will, 7:31am:
When did you break up with your boyfriend? And why didn’t you tell me?
you, 7:32am:
i didn’t
yet
will, 7:32am:
You know i’m gonna fucking murder him right?
You smile fondly at your brother’s concern, chuckling softly as you type your reply.
you, 7:33am:
as you should(:
You open the rest of your messages, mostly asking the same thing. You didn’t feel like talking about it anymore so, you ignore them until you get to your conversation with Chris.
chris💙, 5:22am:
Hey, I’m sure you’ve seen the articles by now.
I’m so sorry
Call me when you can, please. I really need to talk to you.
You bite your lip as you think about what to answer. You didn’t have the energy to deal with this right before your firm’s opening. Shaking your head, you lock your phone, putting it back on the desk, getting dressed.
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As you get back to your hotel room, exhausted from your day, you hear your phone signal an incoming text for the millionth time today.
You sigh loudly: you knew it was Chris texting you again. You had been ignoring his texts all day because you didn’t want to get in a bad mood while you were opening the firm.
You put your purse and work bag on the floor, unlocking your phone. You open the conversation with Chris, scrolling through his messages.
chris💙, 6:15pm:
I’m leaving a bit earlier than I planned, I should be home tomorrow morning.
Are you back in Boston or are you gonna stay in LA?
You sigh, feeling guilty that you had been ignoring his texts all day. You start typing a reply, your finger hovering over the send button for a couple of seconds before clicking on it.
you, 6:17pm:
i’m still in san francisco i’m leaving tomorrow morning
As soon as your message goes through, you see the three dots pop up in the conversation.
chris💙, 6:17pm:
Oh my God, hi. Are you okay?
Can I call you?
You chew on your bottom lip: you really didn’t think he was going to answer that fast.
you, 6:18pm:
i’m about to take a shower then i’m gonna go to bed i’m really tired sorry
chris💙, 6:18pm:
Okay, I’m sorry
Good night
You groan loudly. You really didn’t know why you felt so guilty: he was the one running around with another woman. As you think about this, you realize that you didn’t really know who she was.
You shake your head at yourself as you pull up Google on your phone and look for her. You don’t even realize it but, 20 minutes later, you were now at the oldest post on her Instagram.
You curse at yourself, dropping your phone on your bed, and head to the shower.
You stay under the hot stream of the shower for at least an hour before you finally get out, toweling off.
You order some room service for dinner, settling down in front of a random show playing on the TV. After pushing your food around for half an hour, you sigh loudly, put the tray on the hotel desk and get under the covers before finally falling asleep.
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You had not slept very well so you had been in a rush to leave the hotel and catch your flight to LAX in the morning. You were exhausted and hungry when you got to your shared LA home with Chris but there was no food in sight, considering that neither of you had been here in a couple of months.
As it was not too late in the day, you decide to take a nap and order some food after.
When you wake up a few hours later, the sun has already completely set and the house is pitch black. You rub the sleep out of your eyes and take your phone before heading to the living room to order some food.
As you enter the kitchen and are about to head to the living room, you hear a deep voice, “Hey, you’re up.”
Taken by surprise, you throw your phone in the direction of the sound and scream, “Holy shit!”
“Ow… What the fuck?”
You’re breathing heavily, clutching your chest as you turn on the kitchen lights, brightness illuminating the area as you see Chris holding the side of his head.
“Jesus Christ, Chris! You almost gave me a fucking heart attack!”
Chris rubs at his head as he looks towards you. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”
Your heartbeat starts to slow down as you roll your eyes.
“What are you even doing here?”
Chris frowns and replies, “Well, you never told me where you were going to be but when I got back to Boston and you weren’t there, I assumed you were coming here.”
You groan silently, crossing your arms over your chest and raising your eyebrows,
“So, London seemed to be very fun.”
Chris shakes his head, looking up at the ceiling, before making eye contact with you, “I didn’t know that’s what the trip was about.”
You chuckle humorlessly, “Really, Chris? Since when do you go on trips, not knowing what they’re about?”
Chris exhales loudly, taking a couple of steps towards you, “I promise that I didn’t know. Megan planned everything and just sent me the info.”
You snort loudly, rolling your eyes. Chris frowns before asking, “What?”
“Megan, Chris? Really? She fucking hates me, of course she would pull a stunt like this.”
Chris frowns again, shaking his head, “What are you talking about? She doesn’t hate you.”
You laugh, this time, actually finding this funny, “Chris, she literally called me a walking disaster.”
Chris struggles to find an answer to that: he knew that Megan used this exact kind of formulation so he couldn’t deny it.
“And you know what? It’s fine. Maybe you really should be dating her instead of me.”
Chris’ face contorts in a mix of hurt and anger, “Why the fuck would you say something like that?”
“Because it’s true, Chris. She’s better for you. She’s actually your age, not a fucking child compared to you. She can give you the things you want from life that I can’t. Maybe it’s better that way.”
“What way?”
You shrug your shoulders, looking at your feet, mumbling, “If we weren’t together.”
Chris scoffs, “You literally have to be kidding me.”
Chris takes large steps, making his way towards you and takes your chin in his hand, forcing you to look at him.
“Y/N, I’ve told you before and I will tell you again. I do not give a shit about your age. And I thought you didn’t either. So, what’s the problem here?”
You bite your bottom lip nervously, “Because what if what Megan said is true? I mean… If people find out that we’re dating, the shit talking would never stop. I can’t do that to you.”
Chris sighs, enveloping you in a hug.
“Baby, it doesn’t matter. None of it matters if we’re not together.”
He lets you go, stroking your cheek, “You’re it for me. There is no one better for me than you. And no one is going to take that away from us. Not you. Not Megan. And certainly not my fans. If they love me as much as they say they do, then they’ll respect you.”
You chuckle slightly, “Chris, I don’t know what kind of fantasy you live in, but in real life, that’s not how things go.”
“Okay, but who cares? There’s two people in this relationship, you and me. Not you, me, Megan and my fans.”
You scoff, mumbling, “Yeah, tell Megan that.”
“I will. The same goes for her. I didn’t know she actually meant those things about you and I’ll tell her that she needs to knock that shit off.”
You sigh, nodding slightly, “Okay.”
“And, baby, I’m sorry.”
You furrow your brows, trying to understand, “I never should have agreed to Megan’s little plan thing. But, most importantly, I should have told you as soon as I knew. It’s just that I kinda owed Lily a favor and she needed this. But it doesn’t erase the fact that I should have been honest with you and I’m sorry I wasn’t.”
You sigh, “I know, it’s okay. I knew this kind of thing could happen when I decided to be with you, and I overreacted a bit so I’m sorry too. I knew it wasn’t true and I should have asked you about it instead of ignoring you. I just… couldn’t let go of the fact that maybe you should be with her.”
Chris shakes his head, “I shouldn’t. And I never will be.”
Chris laughs a bit before continuing, “Sorry, but you’ll have to try harder to get rid of me.”
You laugh loudly, throwing your head back. Looking back at Chris, you smile warmly before hugging him,
“I love you, Chris. Like, a lot.”
Chris chuckles, squeezing you tighter, “I love you too.”
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Regained Passion -Harry Hook x reader - part 1 - The dance studio
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=
-canon deviant, after D2; Ben invites more vks over, including Harry and Gil-
Harry huffed in frustration as he forced himself to walk to the dance studio building, FG had made the newest set of VKs go to counselors and his had decided he needed something to burn off his energy, but it couldn’t be sword fighting or tourney as it ‘amplified his violent tendencies’ and he needed ‘a calm environment that tempered him’
“Dumb counselor, dumb FG, dumb dance class” he muttered to himself, shrugging the duffel back on his shoulder to sit correctly as it slid from its spot slightly. The studio was just off campus, being connected to a huge auditorium that had a large stage for their dancers to…well dance.
He stopped in front of the building, grimacing up at the sign that hung off the front of the building “Esmerelda's dance hall” he read, sighing he looked back down at his clothes.
Evie had signed herself up to make some new clothes for him to dance in, and at the moment he was in a flowy white t-shirt, slightly baggy black sweatpants, and wearing his new converse. (he had a feeling he would have to change out of them though) “Let's get this over with” he muttered, walking up the steps and into the building.
He stepped through the doors and looked around, to the left was a reception desk, at least that’s what it looked like, and to the right was a café looking room, with vending machines and a mini kitchen. “Hello! Welcome to Esmerelda's dance hall! Are you a new student?” Harry turned back to look at the desk, now a middle-aged blonde woman sat in the chair behind it, a kind smile on her face.
“I guess” Harry muttered, walking up to the desk and handing her the paper the consular had given him to give to ‘Ms. Smith’ and the woman behind the desks nameplate read ‘Mira Smith’ so he guessed she was the person who he had to give the paper too. “I was told ta give this ta yeh” Mira nodded and took the paper, humming to herself and typing on her computer.
“Yep, got you right here, Harry Hook. You’ll be starting out in the beginners class for teens since we assumed you had no prior dance experience” Harry quirked his brow. He had dance experience just…not the type they did in this school probably. “The school is paying for your classes so you won't have to worry about any payments, follow me!” Mira stood and walked out from behind the desk, leading Harry down the long hallway of doors, each having a number and letter on the wood.
“Your classes, for now, will take place in D-A, with Mr. Bert. Hes our beginner teacher, all our students love him, they say he makes everything very fun and entertaining” Harry didn’t respond, looking at the walls and through the small windows to the rooms. “Well, here you are! Have fun Harry” Mira opened the door and gestured inside, where a good group of teens his age stood, all getting ready for the class. Some were stretching while others just talked to their friends.
Harry stepped through the door, pressing his lips together as some of the teens turned to look at him, brows raising bit. He could recognize some of them from Auradon prep. Harry held down a flinch as a hand clamped on his shoulder “You must be Harry, eh?!” Harry turned to look, seeing a kind-looking man with black hair and blue eyes, a smile on his face.
Harry wasn’t one to trust someone as soon as he saw them but this man just had odd energy that Harry felt like he could trust. Harry felt himself relax and nodded to the man, who held out his hand to Harry. “I’m Bert!” Bert had an odd Boston accent, which again, made Harry feel oddly safe. Harry shook his hand, yelping quietly as Burt pulled him into the group of teens “Now, grab a pair of those black ballet shoes, don’t worry they’re new and ya get ta keep ‘em, and get em all tied up on ya’, and the same ta’ the rest of ya’! get all ready and stretch!” Bert released Harry's hand and walked around the room, helping some of the younger teens stretch and put their shoes on.
Harry looked for his size in the shoes and found one pair left ‘how convenient’ he thought, grabbing the pair and moving over to the wall that had only one other teen sitting against it. He took off his bag and slid down the wall, taking off his converse and replacing it with the ballet shoes.
As Harry got his shoes changed, Bert announced to the new students that had also joined that day; that beginner classes were only an hour-long, and there was no lesson plan, for now, it was learning basics and just having fun with dance. He also said he would teach them to dance along to a song called ‘step in time’. But first, stretching.
Harry mindlessly followed along with the instruction; Harry didn’t want to be here in the first place so he didn’t really feel like trying. “uh, Harry?” Harry looked up, seeing Bert staring wide-eyed at him “have ya ever had any previous dance experience? Gymnastics even?” Harry shook his head, not knowing why Bert was asking “You’re about a half-foot away from a full side split” Harry looked down, raising his brows in slight shock.
It was true, Harry's legs were almost horizontal from his hips “well would yeh look at tha’” Harry muttered, leaning forward a bit, hearing some of the girls of the class gasp in slight jealously.
“How the heck is he doing that! I've been doing gymnastics since I was two and I can't even do that!” a black girl with Bantu knots whispered to her friend, who started starry-eyed at Harry.
“I know… it’s kinda hot” the friend whispered back, laughing slightly as the first girl gently tugged at her hair “I’m sorry it is!” the first girl smirked and smacked the second's thigh.
“You are such a simp” she chortled turning her attention back to Bert and Harry, to which Bert was testing Harry's flexibility, to Harry's slight embarrassment.
“Do you feel any pain like that?” Harry looked down at his almost full side spit and shook his head, he didn’t even realize he had done it. “Could you try to do a full one?” Harry stared at Bert for a moment then shrugged, spreading his legs further and now sitting in a full side split “Well butter my britches” Bert laughed, rubbing his head “and they told me ya were a full on beginner!”
Harry sniffed and moved his legs back into a normal position, now sitting cross-legged as Bert patted his head and went back to stand in the front of the group, clapping his hands to gain his attention “Alright! Now let's start with the basics!”
-
If Harry had been taking the class willingly? He would have enjoyed it wholeheartedly because Mira was right; Bert did make the class very fun. But due to Harry being forced to take the class, he had hated every second. Bert had seemed to realize Harry wasn’t into it and left harry alone most of the time, but he still checked on him during the hour of class.
“Remember to grab the schedule on your way out! Class is same time same place tomorrow! Have a good day!” Harry finished tying up his shoes and stood, shuffling his new dance shoes into his bag, and made his way out of the class, giving a halfhearted finger wave to Bert as he walked out.
He walked behind his class, not wanting to mingle with any of them. He stopped, looking to his right as he noticed an open door. He blinked in slight surprise, inside was a whole group, much more experienced than his class, practicing what seemed to be ballet, the girls wearing shoes that allowed them to stand on their toes.
His eyes locked onto a particular girl, wearing a light blue leotard and an even lighter blue sheer skirt that almost looked silver.  Her skirt flared as she performed a set of spins, her head almost sticking to one spot as she did.
Harry had never seen ballet before, at least in person, so he stood slightly mesmerized as she danced, she stopped her spin and moved gradually on her toes, moving about the room in a way that Harry could only describe as ‘flowing water’. The girl turned once more, bright (e/c) eyes locking with his.
Harry felt his breath hitch as a sudden rush of butterflies erupted in his gut, flying about his body and filling his mind. ‘wha-‘ Harry mentally stuttered, taking a step back from the class as he felt his face heat up. The girl still had her eyes on him, but they were filled with slight confusion and interest. ‘I-I I have to go’ Harry turned and ran for the exit, not noticing the girl's classmates walk over to the door and look after him, some of them giggling to themselves.
-
“Oh he’s pretty!” “Think he’s a new student?”
“Oh def, did you see his outfit!? Besides, I heard that Mr. Bert got a new student today from Auradon prep, I think that was him”
“(y/n), do you recognize him?” Anita Beaucop turned to you from the door, she wasn’t from Auradon prep so she couldn’t have known who Harry was.
“Yes,” you mumbled, resting against one of the beams against the wall. “Harry Hook, one of the new villain kids, Chad calls him a filthy pirate” Anita rolled her eyes and sauntered over to you, grabbing a water bottle from her bag and cracking it open.
“Well,” Anita huffed, her French accent strong as usual “your brother is an asshole, both of us know not to trust him, if Chad doesn’t like Harry, then you should make friends, piss him off and all that” you giggled at that, covering your mouth as Emma, another one of your class friends who didn’t go to Auradon prep, leaned into your space, her eyes drifting back toward the door.
“Do you know If Harry's single?” she purred, her smirk dropping as you shrugged.
“I don’t know, he hangs around Uma a lot, and from what I see he seems really into her” Emma pouted, and crossed her arms.
“I got no shot with that hunk then, Uma’s hot as fuck.” the entire room agreed, including Javis and Saki in the corner of the room, who were both very much into men. “See, even Javis agrees!”
“Just because I don’t like anything on the menu doesn’t mean I can’t apricate it” Javis snorted, downing a granola bar as he did a small stretch session. You snorted and rolled your eyes, fixing your skirt and getting back into the starting position as Esmerelda looked back up from her cd player.
“Okay! Let's run it from the top again! Last round ladies! Then we can all go home and relax” As the gentle music began to play and you started to dance, you couldn’t help but think about the striking ocean blue eyes that sent a spark through your soul.
-end of part 1-
Part one of a new series, not gonna be a long one, maybe 5 parts at least-most…dunno which it's gonna be but, yeah! If you couldn’t guess, (y/n) is Chad's sister (fraternal twin but since its x reader you look like you and not automatically a female version of Chad) and isn’t like him, takes more after her mom n stuff. And yeah we got some simps in (y/n)s class lol.
Hope you enjoyed and will enjoy the next parts (to which I have no clue where this fic is actually gonna go I had a beginning and ending part to it and that was all lol, so lets see how this turns out)
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rosesisupposes · 3 years
Text
Objections, Your Honor
Two lawyers are across the aisle in open court once more. But today something is off, and no one is happy with the result.
read on ao3
characters: mainly Logan & Janus; background Virgil, Patton, Roman, Remus, Remy, and Emile
pairings: soulmate Loceit; QPP Analogical; QPP Moceit; romantic soulmate Royality; romantic soulmate Dukexiety; romantic soulmate Remile
content tags: non-traditional soulmate AU; courtroom drama; arophobia and acephobia; shameless self-pandering with legal arguments about the MCU; gushing about QPPs; couples therapy
reader tags: @royally-anxious @jemthebookworm @arandompasserby  @sparkly-rainbow-salt @astral-eclipse​ @thelowlysatsuma @adorably-angsty @max-is-tired @almostoveranalyzed @potestessemagishomosexualitatis  @mariniacipher @vintage-squid
word count: 10,386
The day it happened was no normal day for Logan. But not, of course, because of that.
He cared because it was a trial day. Months of motions back and forth, weeks and weeks of preparation, and today was oral arguments. He normally avoided open court, particularly against such an opponent, but nothing could be done.
His case files were impeccably arranged in his padfolio, his grocery list of arguments annotated in precise writing, blue ink dotting the page with emphases and connections, his notepad prepared at his left.
He glanced to his right out of the corner of his eye at his opposing counsel. He didn't want them to see him looking. But he sneered internally at the haphazard stacks of papers spreading across the table and the garish gold ink that looped and curved across sticky notes.
The judge finally came out, and Logan stood, crisply buttoning his tailored jacket as he did so. At the signal, he identified himself clearly. "Logan Finch for the appellant, Your Honor." 
And then, from his right: "Janus Alighieri for the appellee, Your Honor."
Logan rolled his eyes internally. Janus was, unfortunately, a very familiar foe at this point. But then, they were two of the most respected lawyers in their state, with opposing specialties and reputations for innovative tactics.
Logan was self-aware. He had another reputation, too: as a black-and-white thinker, unshakable, unalterable. He preferred to think of it as a particularly strong conviction. Versus "The Snake" against him, who coiled and twisted the facts of his cases to benefit his clients.
And of course, that was the issue today - Logan strove to show that his client had a straightforward, airtight argument that should clearly prevail, while Janus found miniscule details that he said should be enough to distinguish the case at hand and make it different from previous decisions, enough so to allow the case to be decided in his favor. He'd charmed the jury at trial, and now argued against Logan's appeal.
Logan prided himself on keeping a cool head, but listening to Janus' speech just got under his skin. His neat handwriting started to get messier and messier as he furiously scribbled notes of counterarguments and responses to his opponent's points. Then Janus turned slightly, just enough to see frustration's color burn in Logan's cheek, and he smirked.
Logan barely heard the gasp from the observers behind the bar, because he'd just snapped his pen in his grip.
He looked straight ahead, somewhere slightly to the left of the judge's head, but he saw very little, his furious thoughts too loud to allow any else to be processed. But the audience was murmuring and talking, far louder than any judge usually allowed - what was going on?
A clerk from behind him hurried up to the judge's dais and whispered urgently in her ear. Logan had yet to look around, but he was slowly coming back to himself, enough to be confused at this disruption in normal procedure. He refused to look over at Janus' probably-still-smirking face.
The judge cleared her throat. "Counselors, we will recess for the day. Please join me in my chambers now."
Logan frowned, but cleaned up the broken pen and gathered his file neatly back into his leather briefcase. He didn't look over, but he heard the flurry and crinkling of papers as Janus threw his notes into his own bag. Without glancing over, Logan followed the judge to the small office at the back of the courtroom.
"Mr. Finch, Mr. Alighieri. I do hope there's a good explanation for this breach in propriety, not to mention the code of conduct," she said sternly as they both stood before her heavy desk.
"Breach, Your Honor?" Janus asked. He sounded just as confused as Logan felt.
"As barred attorneys, you are expected to know the code as well as I," Judge Kasel said severely. "No soulmates may be involved in a trial together, except as co-counsel."
Logan's ears roared. "Your Honor, I apologize, I must have misheard. Soulmates? How is that relevant-"
"Mr. Finch, don't play dumb with me - the entire courtroom saw!"
"Saw what?" Janus asked. His voice was oddly distant and strained from its normal silky tones.
Judge Kasel stared at them in disbelief. "You mean to tell me you both managed to not see that? I'm quite certain the entire county saw the glow just now, through even the back of your suits!"
"Glow?" Logan asked. His chest was suddenly very, very empty, a vacuum of air or substance, and had he not been sitting he was sure he would have fainted.
"Yes, glow, both your marks on your shoulders. Given your mutual surprise, I will assume that this was indeed unknown, and will not declare this case a retroactive mistrial. But you will both need to send in replacements from your firms."
Janus spoke up, his voice tinny. "Replacements, Your Honor? I should think even in light of this- development, only one of us would need to withdraw-"
"Mr. Alighieri, while I appreciate your dedication, I will not delay this trial for the entirety of your bonding. I will give you both 3 days to propose counsel to take over, and scheduling will proceed with them."
Oh fuck. Bonding, Logan thought, unable to speak. That absolutely ridiculous expectation.
The clerk poked her head in. "If they need to speak privately, this side office is empty."
"Yes," Logan responded robotically. "Yes, I believe we need to speak."
They filed into the small room. The clerk closed the door behind her, whispering "Congratulations!" as she disappeared.
Janus sat in one of the chairs heavily. Logan remained standing, staring blankly at the bookshelves built into the wall.
"I can't believe this," Janus said finally. "We've known each other for years, how could we possibly be...?"
"Soulmarks frequently emit a barely visible glow from proximity alone, particularly when located on skin that is generally covered. Heightened emotion or situations with high levels of stress lead to brighter glows that were invisible or unnoticed previously," Logan recited dully.
"Oh yes, how could I forget, I'm talking to Encyclopedia Brown," Janus said, rolling his eyes. "Of course you've memorized that too." He unbuttoned his suit vest dexterously despite his trademark yellow gloves, slumping forward in his chair as he threw his vest over the arm carelessly.
"At least one of us actually has a factual basis for this event, rather than us both being in the dark," Logan snapped back.
"Yeah, your vast knowledge of facts really helped! Did your misguided quest to know everything somehow miss the detail of who's your fucking soulmate?" Janus said, nearly whisper-screaming.
Logan whirled to face him, a fiery reply already on his lips, when he suddenly saw a blue light showing through Janus' white shirt, bright enough to glint off the polished chair back and off the glass of the picture frames on the wall.
He closed his eyes, breathing out slowly. "Yes. That was a detail I had not learned. It felt trivial, unable to affect my work. But now that it has, we're better off resolving this."
Janus deflated too. "Yeah. We should. If we can just get through this part, at least we'll stop glowing like horny teenagers."
Logan focused on a tiny flag displayed on the desk as he spoke, not looking over. "I know of a very respectable landlord who rents bonding apartments in the city. Nothing overdone or kitschy, no 'honeymoon' suites, just furnished apartments for indefinite stays."
"Fine. Not like we can't afford it, whatever the price."
"I have some arrangements to make at home-" Logan began
"As do I, unless-"
"Unless what?"
Janus took a breath. "How would you feel about living with a snake?"
"I rather thought that was the entire idea," Logan replied coolly.
Janus shot him a withering glare. "I mean a python, you absolute cotton-headed ninnymuggin."
"Ah, my mistake," Logan said calmly. "That should be fine. A pet, I assume? Or your chosen co-counsel?"
"Let's get one thing straight, Finch," Janus said, rising to his full height, looking down at his infuriating opponent. "I don't like you. I don't expect or particularly want you to like me. We are going to be residing together up until, and only until, our illogical marks have decided in their weird cosmic energy to stop lighting up like neon signs whenever we experience strong emotion in each other's company. I fully expect to be pissed off the entire time, which will make figuring that out easier. But you do not get to speak to me that way, or I'll-"
Logan looked up to meet Janus' eyes. "Or you'll what, Alighieri?"
"I'll report you to the bar for breaking the code, and convince them you already knew," Janus replied smoothly. "And you of all people should know- I am very persuasive."
Logan's eyes narrowed, but he nodded. "Fine. And yes, you may bring your python. I'll be leaving my cat at home, however."
"Fine with me," Janus said curtly, deflating back into his normal slouch.
"I will send you the details of the landlord I mentioned. I can make the arrangements within the hour."
"Sure. Wait-"
"What?"
"How are you going to send me the details?"
Logan paused. Their only real contact over the years had been in person or by professional communications. He could hardly use a process server or subpoena to give Janus his key. "Ah. Right. Your contact information, then?" He pulled out his notepad.
Janus pulled out his gold pen and scribbled his phone number at an angle, entirely crossing the college-ruled lines. Logan cringed but took it.
"I will contact you shortly, then. And I will may sure to look for pet-friendly apartments."
Janus nodded. "Right."
"Right."
They both paused.
"Uh. See you soon, then," Janus said, and left the room abruptly.
Janus had to hand it to him - the apartment was all Logan had promised. Clean, sleek, and spacious. The landlord had even left a spare heat lamp, so Janus' sweet Monty would be comfortable.
Best of all, there were several separate rooms in the suite - two bed, two bath, and two offices.
The kitchen was also well-furnished, and came stocked with staple foods. Logan had arrived, however, with extra bags of groceries.
"I brought my own additions," he said. "The landlord is a friend, but he doesn't buy from the shops I prefer."
He proceeded to pull out several large jars of kimchi, what looked like at least a gallon of soy sauce, and various bright packages that Janus couldn't read.
Janus resolved to take pictures and look up what these things were later. Not while Logan was standing here, glaring up and over as if daring him to comment.
"I've picked the smaller bedroom," Janus informed the shorter man calmly. "Monty is set up in there, so if you're weird about snakes, just avoid it. Actually, feel free to avoid it anyway. I've got a brief to write."
Logan made a noncommittal sound in response.
Hours later, Janus emerged from his office to eat something. His brief was finished, sent off to his senior partner. He hadn’t yet told the firm about the day’s events- only that the appeal would need to be handled by another partner with his associates’ help, he needed to take emergency leave, and he would let them know soon how long he expected to be unavailable. H
e found evidence in the kitchen that Logan had prepared, eaten, and cleaned up dinner for himself.  That was fine by him. He made his own food, grabbed a bag of candy, and retreated back to his room.
The next morning, he woke up at his normal late time, stretching in the sun. The kitchen once again showed evidence of Logan's presence- particularly the currently-soaking coffee pot.
When the sun started to descend once more and Janus had yet to see his new roommate, he grumbled. Guess he'd have to be the fucking practical one.
He blew Monty a kiss for good luck and stumped down to the rooms Logan had claimed. He rapped on the door. "Finch. We need to talk."
He waited. There was silence, then a slow drag of a chair. The doors cracked open.
"Yes? What about?"
"No. We need to talk. Or, fuck, I don't know. Be in the same room occasionally."
Logan sighed deeply, and opened the door more. "Fine."
Janus went to the living room and sat on one side of the couch. Logan followed him and settled on the chair facing him.
"So." Janus began.
"So what," Logan replied flatly.
"Sew buttons," Janus replied automatically.
"What?"
"Just something one of my friends says," Janus muttered.
"Ah. So what was it you want to discuss?"
"I don't know!" Janus snapped. "But I'd really like to get back to my life, eventually, and that can only happen if we bond." His lip curled.
Logan sighed heavily. "And how, exactly, do you propose we do that?”
Janus fell silent. He had very few ideas. Pop culture made it very clear that bonding was an extremely romantic event. First kisses. Proposals. Or, in the less sappy movies, it seemed to consist purely of falling into bed together. None of which appealed in the least, particularly not with Logan.
Logan stared expectantly. "Nothing? You just pulled me out with no ideas?"
"If you're the fucking brilliant one, you come up with one then!" Janus spat out the suggestion with a glare, but then he saw it - a soft gold glow shining through Logan's tee, reflected in the tasteful mirror behind him.
They both deflated again, glows reducing down to hidden beneath their clothes. 
Logan adjusted his glasses. "I. Ah. Apologize. I realize you are attempting to resolve this issue."
"But you're right. I have no idea how to," Janus admitted.
Logan took off his glasses to rub his eyes. "Unfortunately, neither do I. Perhaps just coexisting will be enough."
"How long will that take, though?"
"I haven't the foggiest."
They lapsed into silence.
Finally, Janus suggested, "Maybe we can do our work in the same room. Set up in the dining room with all our stuff. Coexist but in proximity."
Logan glanced over. "That seems relatively painless. Let us make an attempt, then."
Logan had not had any particular expectations for how well they could share a work space.
And yet, it was still far worse than he'd expected.
Janus talked to himself. As he read, as he wrote, as he researched. Not loud, but a constant stream of soft muttering, disjointed words and full sentences. 
It was the most distracting thing Logan had ever been suffered to experience.
"Will you please be quiet," he said tightly, after an hour passed with no signs of letup. 
"What do you mean?" Janus asked.
"That infernal whispering, please, could you stop?"
Janus looked at him quizzically.
"You're talking under your breath," Logan said. He felt a headache coming on. 
"Oh, am I?" Janus asked. "Sorry. I'll be quiet."
It lasted all of half an hour, and then the muttering started again. "SCOTUS said yes but that was a city sidewalk, 2nd says no but that was Lincoln Center, hm, decoration, use, separation, intent?" 
"You're doing it again!"
Janus looked slightly guilty. "It's barely conscious, it's how I process things. Could you just wear headphones?"
"I need silence."
"Noise-canceling, then?"
"Fine. Do you own a pair?"
But the headphones didn't help. The sensation was too odd, of being closed-in, and he kept bumping then as he went to lean against his hand. Finally, Logan stood. "I'm going back to my office. This experiment has failed."
Janus' eyes narrowed. "Well, thanks for deigning to sit in my presence for a full three hours before giving up."
"I'm not giving up, this is just not tenable!" Logan insisted. 
"Well, you asked for ideas, and I came up with one. If it's not working for you, you come up with a better one. Come find me when you're done thinking, I know it could take you a while."
He stood and grabbed an apartment key, and stalked out to walk off his frustration.
As he walked, he called his best friend.
"Hey Pat, it's me."
"Jan! Hi buddy, how are you?!"
He sighed heavily. "I want to go home."
"But you only just got there?"
"Yeah, and it's going shi- I mean, badly. Really badly."
"I'm sure you'll work it out," Patton said confidently. "You're a brilliant and wonderful human, and anyone smart enough to argue against you will be able to see that!"
"Thanks, hun," Janus said. "The fact remains that I also don't like him."
Patton hummed tunelessly. "It doesn't have to be instant, Jan. These things usually take time."
"Unlike you and Ro."
"Well, yes, but that's because we were meant to be!" Patton soft, his voice taking on that soft, besotted tone it always did when he talked about his soulmate.
"Isn't the whole point that all soulmates are meant to be?"
"Well, yes..." Patton faltered. "But it doesn't have to look like us, we're just hopeless romantics!"
"I know. How's wedding planning going?"
"We started watching movies for inspiration and got distracted with a Disney marathon," Patton said fondly. 
"But you had fun?"
"Absolutely!"
"Good," Janus said, meaning it. There were very few people, in his opinion, who deserved happiness the way Patton did.
He was quiet for a moment, then asked, "Pat- what if it was a mistake? What if we just have defective marks or something?"
"I'm sure that's not true!" Patton insisted.
"It just seems like - I mean, we're not even friends. Most people get to start from strangers at worst, but we've been antagonizing each other for years, what if, I don't know. Neither of us had a soulmate and so they glitched out?"
"You just need to find some common ground," Patton said confidently. "You can't both be so passionate about being lawyers without something more in common. I believe in you, buddy!"
Janus sighed. "Thanks, Pat. Say hi to Roman for me, tell him Monty misses him."
"Will do, nephew! Call any time you need, okay?"
"Love you, Pat."
"Love you tooooo!"
Janus realized he'd circled the block and was back at the apartment entrance. He steeled himself, then went back up. He repressed the petty urge to bang open the door to disturb Logan's quiet as much as possible.
Logan wasn't in the common spaces, but emerged not long after Janus returned.
"I feel I must apologize," he began. "It wasn't my intent to denigrate how you work. It is just clear that sharing a workspace is not going to be preferable for either of us."
"Yes, I'm aware I had a bad idea," Janus said, overly patient. "Kind of an odd apology, but I accept. Can I have lunch now?"
"Yes, of course. May I join you?" Logan asked.
Janus raised a distrusting brow.
"The idea of spending time in the same space was a good one. I thought we might try a context in which we don't need to focus."
"Fine."
They prepared food around each other, both managing to bite their tongues when they needed the same counter space or cooking implements, which Janus was proud of himself for. They ate in silence.
Janus heard Logan sigh in exasperation and braced himself for yet another snippy comment. Instead, he heard an unexpected question.
"Do you enjoy superheroes?"
"To eat? No, they upset my stomach," Janus replied drily.
"I mean to watch. Superhero movies and shows."
"Occasionally, yeah, why?"
"Perhaps we could watch one this evening. At the same time."
"Sure."
And they parted to continue working on their own.
Logan had been correct that, as far as superhero movies went, the MCU was a safe choice.
In retrospect, though, perhaps Civil War had been... less so.
It had started when Steve first objected to the Sokovia Accord plan- and Logan had scoffed.
Quick as a cat’s pounce, or an adder’s strike, Janus’ head whipped around. 
“You disagree?”
Logan glanced over briefly, screen light blinking off his glasses. “Well, of course. Didn’t New York and Sokovia show that some control is needed? Lawlessness leads to more civilian casualties.”
“And yet, if supers are controlled so much that risk of liability keeps them from acting at all, casualties would be just a tad higher, don’t you think?”
Tony and Steve’s voices raised on the screen as Logan replied, “What would the difference be of the villains and heroes if they all act with complete impunity?”
“Oh, I’m sorry, did we lose mens rea when we switched over into Marvel-land?” Janus asked, voice clipped. “Isn’t the entire basis of our modern penal system based on culpability, not just the act or harm done?”
Logan looked down his nose. “Of course culpability matters. But you well know that one of the factors for absolute liability is when an act is inherently and extremely dangerous. Say, for instance, displays of superhuman force in a densely populated area.”
“So you don’t think there can be any space for personal judgment on the heroes’ behalf?” Janus asked incredulously.
“Look what that space did already! Does the name Ultron ring a bell?”
“So of course, the one who made a terrible call is the one who now wants to be restricted? That sounds like asking for the global government to save him from himself instead of taking responsibility.”
“Better that those with actual accountability be the ones bearing the responsibility!”
“Oh, yeah, and we can definitely trust this government’s judgment! A Hydra infestation was all part of the plan!” Janus’ voice was raising, far louder than the movie that still flickered on, ignored.
“There still needs to be rule of law! Steve wants to abandon it all for one person, and a war criminal at that-!”
“And that’s incomprehensible?”
“Of course!”
Janus fixed his supposed soulmate with a glare. “And you mean to tell me that there’s no one, no one, that you would be willing to burn the world down for?”
Logan opened his mouth to respond, but Janus continued quickly before he could. “No one who won’t fight for themselves, because they think they’re not worth it, but you know they’re so worth it that you would be willing to kill for them?”
Logan, about to spit out an impulsive reply, paused, momentarily speechless. As clearly as if they were sitting on the edge of the couch next to him, his best friend from childhood filled his mind. Virgil, who never believed their worth no matter how many times Logan and their soulmate Remus told them so.
Janus saw the pause and continued softly. “I’m not saying rule of law isn’t important. But the trouble with laws is they’re only as tailored as legislators make them. And they’re human, and therefore fallible. We need exceptions, for those situations that they didn’t imagine.”
Logan struggled for moment, then replied, just as quietly, “You’re right.”
Janus’ mouth fell open in shock, but just as he did, the tv’s faint blue glow throughout the room was washed over with two beacons in blue and gold, blazing from their backs.
At the sight, Logan’s face went from contemplative and open to stony. He stood abruptly and stalked off into his room. The door closed behind him with a decisive click, and Janus was left staring at the wood in confusion and anger.
“I just don’t get it!” Janus whisper-screamed into the phone. He was power walking through a nearby park, moving so fast he’d passed a skateboarder and a particularly leisurely biker. “Does he want to keep on glowing forever? What is his problem?!”
Patton made sympathetic noises in response, quite familiar with the sound of Janus in full rant mode. Roman was lying with his head in his lap, listening on speaker, so Patton was settled in to be as receptive to his friend’s complaints as he needed.
“I mean, we finally agreed on something, besides the fact that we want to get this fucking resolved, and then he just, what, shuts me out? Literally and figuratively? I literally can’t even catch him leaving to the kitchen for food now!”
Patton winced. “Not since? But it’s been two days!”
“Two and a half, yeah,” Janus replied. His voice suddenly sounded weary. “I can’t keep doing this. The trial’s going on without us anyway, I might as well just give it up and make sure I never have to argue against him again.”
At that, Roman sat bolt upright. “Janus, my dear esquire! You cannot abandon your quest! This is your soulmate!”
“Yeah, well. Maybe some soulmarks are broken. Or we just met at the wrong time. Maybe if we’d met in law school we would have been a team, but now it’s too late.”
Janus sounded contemptuous, but Patton could hear a distinct note of regret.
“Maybe...” he started, but trailed off, thinking.
“Maybe what, Pat?”
“Well, it’s just that I’ve heard of soulmates who, you know, take an abnormally long time to bond, or manage to un-bond after years together, but they can fix it. Do you remember my old roommate?”
Janus wrinkled his nose. “Patton, are you suggesting couple’s therapy? I’m fairly certain that only applies to couples.”
“Well, you’ve kinda been forced to be one, right? At least to figure out bonding? They could probably help, or at least let you know if it’s not worth the effort.”
Janus sighed. “No, you’re right, it’s a good idea. I just have no idea how I’ll get Finch to go along with it.”
“Might I make a suggestion?” Roman asked politely. 
“Sure.”
“Perhaps try calling him ‘Logan.’”
Janus rolled his eyes. “Worth a shot, I guess. Love you both.”
“Love you Jan!”
“Best of luck with the love of your soul!”
 Back in the apartment, Logan was pacing in precise squares in his bedroom. He half-expected the rug to be worn down by the repeated impact at this point. 
“L, I don’t know what to tell you, buddy,” the gravely voice on the phone said. “You really have only two options here: find a way to avoid him forever, which will probably involve having to turn down cases you’d like-“
“I bet he’d stay on them just to force me off,” Logan interrupted, growling. 
“That is a possibility,” Virgil replied, their voice overly patient. “The other option, though, is to work this out,” they continued. 
Logan scoffed.
“Lo, that doesn’t mean you’ve gotta turn into a Hallmark movie! But it’s clear this isn’t just going away, and it’s not like you’ve got nothing in common.”
Logan groaned. “Virge, I don’t-“
“I know, man. I know. But you can’t just hide in your room until he just decides to move out, which means you’re gonna have to talk to him at some point.”
Logan didn’t reply, just continued pacing. 
“You know I’m right, Lo,” Virgil said patiently. “You don’t have to say it, just promise me you’re not going to keep being a hermit, okay?”
Logan sighed. “I promise.”
“There we go. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
About to hang up, Logan heard a voice in the background and Virgil asked him to wait.  Then, “Reme wants to say hi.”
Logan let out an exasperated sigh, but he was smiling. “Fine, I’ll allow it-“
“Loooogggyyyyy! How’s the soulmate boning going? Have you figured out that you’re a power bottom yet?”
“Hello, Remus. I take it you’re well.”
“Let’s just say I’m glad you’re my brother-in-law because I may have some need for a lawyer soon.”
Logan couldn’t conceal the grin from his voice as he replied, “As I know you know, I am not a defense attorney, nor would I ever be so unwise as to take you as a client.”
“Aww, you’re such a smart cookie! And by cookie I mean a snack, because mmmm-MMMm you’re a snacc!”
“Always glad to know I’m appreciated,” Logan replied drily. “Goodbye, Virgil. Goodbye, Remus.”
“See ya, L.”
“Byeeeeeeeeeee!”
When Janus returned, he was a bit taken aback to see Logan sitting in an armchair, reading. At the sound of the door, he looked up. 
“Ah, Alighieri. I- I wanted to apologize for my behavior.”
Janus paused. It was a good sign, but still so unexpected as to be unsettling.
Logan cleared his throat. “I shouldn’t have left you in a lurch. You did not cause this situation anymore than did I, and you have not been unkind. I have a suggestion for how we might move forward.”
Janus winced internally, thinking of another disastrous attempt at a movie or workspace. “I actually had a thought on that as well, but um. What was yours?”
Logan cleared his throat again. “Well, since we have been... brought into this situation together, but as a pair are struggling to adjust, it seems logical to consult with an expert, much as we would in our work. Therefore, we should consult a professional on personal relationships.”
“Oh, thank god,” muttered Janus. “Yeah, I was gonna suggest a couples counselor too. I think that would make sense. And I actually have a personal reference to a very experienced therapist.”
That settled, they found the earliest possible appointment, only two days later. 
“I do need to warn you-“ Janus said as they walked up to the office. It was their first time out of the apartment together, and it had been a very quiet walk over. “The methods of this therapist are- unorthodox. But they are highly acclaimed in their field.”
“Oh, are they an enby?” Logan asked. 
“Yes and no,” Janus replied. “You see, there’s two of them.”
“Two?”
“Yeah, they’re a couple therapist that is also a couple.”
“I don’t- well- I mean, that’s odd, right?”
Janus grinned. “Yeah, odd is a common word to describe them. But they’re highly praised and like I said, they were recommended personally.”
“Right,” Logan said, squaring his shoulders. “An open mind is helpful for effective therapy, after all.”
“That’s the spirit! I think,” Janus replied, holding the door open.
A gothy receptionist showed them to a private room with a comfortably large couch. Logan looked around in trepidation and slight alarm at the decorations. There were countless Funko-Pops, posters, stuffed animals, and an alarmingly high number of travel mugs from what looked like every single cartoon that had ever existed.
Janus was slightly more prepared then Logan, but he still jumped out of his skin by the sudden singing coming around the door. A deep voice was booming, “Duhhh duh-duh-duh-duh-da-DUH!” in a building crescendo that went on and on, until both lawyers were staring in a mixture of confusion and irritation.
Then a tall, lanky man slid in the door and lowered his glasses to wink at them both. “Hey babes. Welcome to therapy.” 
The singer followed him through the door, their bright pink hair a sharp contrast to their warm brown skin. “And thank you as always for the intro, honey!”
They smiled, big and toothy. “Welcome indeed! I’m Dr. Emile Picani, pronouns they/them, and this tall drink of coffee is my partner, Dr. Remy Picani, pronouns he/him! And you are Janus and Logan, correct?”
Logan looked a bit stunned still, so Janus took the lead. “Yes, I’m Janus Alighieri and this is Logan Finch, pronouns he/him for both. And I was referred by Patton Corwan-Augustus.” 
Emile smiled even bigger, if that were possible. “Oh Patty! Best roommate ever, I still miss his brownies. It’s lovely to meet you both!”
“Best roommate? What am I, chopped liver?” Remy asked, hand pressed to his chest. 
“Best friend, best coffee-maker, best of men and best of husbands,” Emile replied, and said husband immediately blushed.
Logan coughed politely. “Have you been married long?”
Remy smiled, still pink around the edges. “We’ve actually been married almost 10 years. The minute we graduated university, actually, when we knew our parents had not a shred left of financial control. We went through our PhDs together, which is why, of course, we’re qualified to help out other couples, because let me tell you, would not recommend.”
“Which brings us, of course, to you two!” Emile said brightly. “What is your goal in coming to therapy?”
Janus and Logan both began speaking at once.
“Well, it started in court-“
“It was completely unexpected, we’ve known each other for years-“
“-dreadfully embarrassing, not to mention the professional ramifications-“
“-it just feels like something’s missing-“
“-really want to just sort this out-“
“-just want to figure out the disconnect-“
“-and we can forget about the whole thing.”
“-want to make this work.”
They looked at each other, shocked, as their words both sank in.
Emile was tapping their Powerpuff Girls pencil topper steadily against their lips, eyes wide behind their pink-framed glasses. 
Remy, at their side, leaned back and took a long, loud slurp of his iced coffee, rattling the ice around until the room’s attention was on him. Then he looked up and said, “Hoooo-wheee.”
“So I’m getting a lot of differing goals here,” Emile said delicately. “Let’s start with you, Janus. Can you expand, please?”
Janus tried to speak, but felt like his voice had dropped into the cold pit that was suddenly his stomach. “I, um,” he started with a shaky breath. He barely noticed when Remy pushed a cup of ice water into his hand, but a sip steadied him somewhat.
“You can look just at me, if that helps,” Emile said softly. “Or at my buddy Kaa here.” They gestured to the stuffed snake on the shelf behind them. 
He looked like a fuzzy little Monty. That would do. 
“Thank you, Doctor,” Janus said, acknowledging the water from Remy. “So. We’ve been rival lawyers for years, because we’re both the best at what we do. It was shocking, to suddenly be glowing in open court, but I thought we just needed to find common ground that’s not arguing. That’s why I’m here, at least.”
“And Logan?” Emile asked, still in that kind voice. Logan wouldn’t meet their eyes, though, or anyone’s.
“I thought- we both seemed so upset by the news. Or at least, I was, and perceived you to be as well.” He didn’t look up as he addressed Janus, but his eyes shifted over and took root on Janus’ polished loafers. “My plan was to spend whatever time was needed to stop glowing, then get back to our respective lives.”
“Do either of you have a question you’d like to ask of one another?” Remy asked. “It can be as large or small scale as you’d like, serious or frivolous.”
Both men looked up at the lanky therapist, who’d actually removed his dark glasses, revealing slightly foggy-looking irises. “Logan, it looks like you have one.”
“Oh- yes. So, Alighieri- I mean, Janus. To be clear- you were not upset by the news?”
Janus took a breath. “I mean, I was shocked, and upset to be removed in the middle of a case. But not about the soulmate thing, specifically. And I have a question too?” He looked to the therapists, who both nodded.
Janus looked over, and saw the Logan was watching him in his periphery. “When you say you were upset about the news- was it about the soulmate thing, or about me as your soulmate?”
Logan actually sat up, looking shocked. “Oh, goodness gracious. Absolutely about the concept of ‘soulmate’ in general, not personal in any way. Did I-?”
“Well, yeah, a bit,” Janus said.
“I am- I am so sorry. I would have absolutely have been equally upset, no matter who I found to be an accidental soulmate.”
Janus felt his stomach unclench just a bit.
“Logan, what about soulmates in general upsets you?” Emile asked.
Logan’s mouth pressed into a thin line, and he stayed silent for a moment, then two. Finally, he said curtly, “I never asked for one. And no one asked if I wanted one, either.”
“No one asked if I wanted to be trans, and yet here I am,” Emile said with a cheeky grin. “We don’t always get a say over the circumstances of our birth.”
“But Emmy, you’ve found self-acceptance and happiness deriving from coming out,” Remy put in. “Logan, were you content with life before this reveal?”
Logan nodded. 
“So there was no sense of dysphoria prior, or absence of a euphoria that was gained since.” 
Again, Logan nodded.
“Couldn’t-“ Janus began. His throat felt a bit stuck. “Couldn’t there be something to be gained, though?”
Logan picked up a small figurine of Dexter from the table next to the couch, and fiddled with it in his lap as he spoke. “It’s not impossible, there could certainly be gains from a better acquaintance with you. But that’s not what a soulmate is supposed to be, is it? They’re supposed to complete you,” he said, his voice dripping in disdain. “Because you were incomplete before. Because you weren’t enough, alone, you were just waiting for the One. And of course, you can’t be trusted to find them yourself, some cosmic force determines it for you.”
Remy rested his hand in his hand, elbow propped on his knee. “Spill it, sis.”
Logan stared in confusion. 
Remy smiled. “It means, approximately, ‘continue, you’ve got something good to say’. I’m getting a lot here- but a lot of the frustration seems to be with the idea that forces you can’t control are messing with your life, is that fair?”
Logan shifted. “Well, yeah, but that makes me sound like a control freak.”
“Not at all,” Janus interrupted. “Of course you don’t want something incomprehensible to make decisions for you. That’s not controlling, that’s perfectly understandable and human!”
Logan managed a small smile in response.
Emile beamed. “I couldn’t have said it better myself!”
“But I am def gonna poke some holes in your thought bubble,” Remy said cheerfully. “Starting with this: what do you mean when you say a soulmate is intended to be The One?”
Logan stared in disbelief. “Come on. Really? Look at, I don’t know, any piece of media ever. Or at you two. Or at my- friend and his husband. Or any other pair of soulmates!”
Janus added, “I mean, that’s what’s intended, right? With the whole ‘marked from birth’ thing?”
Emile looked at them both very seriously. “Did you know that Remy isn’t The One for me?”
“But he’s your soulmate?” Janus gasped out.
Emile nodded gravely. “He is my soulmate. But he is not my only soulmate.”
“I was designated female at birth to very traditional parents. They wanted me to marry my soulmate at 18, like they had, and they assumed he’d be a man. But my other soulmate was a girl, and I loved her with all my heart. And when I realized I wasn’t a girl, I thought my parents might accept us more. I was wrong.” They took a breath. “We were separated. I don’t know what happened to her. But it was enough to know that my parents didn’t care about my happiness, soulmate or no.”
“I’m so sorry,” Logan said quietly, and Janus nodded, swallowing a lump in his throat. 
“I was lucky, though,” they continued. “I found Remy only two years later. And he accepted me as I am, both my gender and my other soulmate. And the cartoons, of course.”
“I never got to meet her,” Remy said. “So we will never know if she was my soulmate, too. I choose to believe she wasn’t. I think she could have been Emile’s one and only, had they been able to stay together. And that doesn’t make me feel any less lucky to be Emile’s husband, nor any less loved by them.”
“And not to shock you even more, but not all soulmates are romantic,” Emile said. “I know that’s the media portrayal- but well, the media is also pretty straight. And cis. And white. And neurotypical. And-”
“What they’re getting at,” Remy interrupted, “is that common portrayals miss a lot of the variety and complexity of humanity as a whole, let alone the complexity of relationships.”
Logan was sitting very still, and not speaking. Janus was trying to wrap his mind around this, and spoke with uncharacteristic uncertainty as he asked, “So- for instance, um, you could have soulmates who are, uh, queerplatonic partners?”
Logan’s head snapped up, staring at Janus with wide eyes.
Remy grinned. “Yes, of course! I was worried I was going to have to do a vocab lesson, but you both seem to know what that is.”
“But-“ Janus began, brows furrowing.
“But that means-“ Logan muttered to himself.
“Why isn’t he my soulmate?” Janus asked, at the same time Logan asked, “Why aren’t they my soulmate?”
Lit by the twin glows reflecting against the wall, the therapist couple exchanged a pregnant look. Emile reached out and took a hand of each patient. “I know this is a lot to process, but I really want you to keep something in mind: a soulmate is not the only way we can love someone. It’s not the ‘best’ way or only valid way to love someone. The same way the platonic love you clearly both hold for a significant person in your life is no less valid than romantic.”
Remy sat up straight. “I want you both to think about this when you go home. Your love for your QPPs is wonderful, and worth cherishing. And I know you are both lawyers, so here’s a question for you to brief. We cannot know the actual intent of whatever force gave you marks that respond to each other. So I want to you look for what evidence there might be, in each other, for your connection.”
Emile added on, “You have a link, and it’s worth exploring. It doesn’t have to ever be more important, more meaningful than another connection you have. But understanding it is critical to bonding successfully.”
“I think we should wrap there, for this week,” Remy added. “But you can talk about this, of course, without us.”
Janus and Logan nodded, and left. The walk home was as quiet as the walk there had been, but this time the air thrummed with thoughts and ponderings.
Janus and Logan made dinner with relatively little talk, only quiet asks to pass a spice or a cooking implement. It wasn't an uncomfortable quiet, but one where their minds were far too loud to vocalize just yet.
Janus quietly suggested putting on TV, and picked the game show network as a neutral, unobjectionable option.
They ate as they watched, still burdened with their own thoughts, but slowly started to murmur the correct questions under their breath before the Jeopardy contestants were able to.
Final Jeopardy, as luck would have it, was on Latin - but specifically, Latin as used in law. Both attorneys chuckled at the contestants' answers, some of which weren't even close to correct.
Janus directed a cautious smile in Logan's direction, and found it reciprocated. But as he saw that familiar glow start to reflect off the walls, he tensed, waiting for Logan flee once more.
For the first time, though, he didn't. His eyes widened as he took in the lights, but he didn't move to stand or leave.
"About today-" Logan began. "I don't know that I am quite ready to discuss it all, but I did want to once again apologize for my handling of this situation, and its emotional impact on you. It was entirely unintentional, but I regret causing you distress."
"Thank you," Janus replied softly. "And thank you for being willing and open to go to counseling. I learned a lot today, all of it important."
"I'd like to talk about it tomorrow, if you'd be willing," Logan added. "There are some additional details I need to share, but I don't think I'm able at the present moment."
"Sounds good," Janus nodded. "I'm going to turn in for the night. Sleep well."
"You as well."
But despite feeling tired, Janus found he wasn't at all sleepy. He ended up sitting up until the wee hours of the morning, stroking Monty gently and thinking a great deal.
The next morning, Janus woke up much earlier than his usual habit, but he needn't have worried - Logan was clearly waiting for him in the kitchen, sipping coffee and idly solving the entire Sunday crossword.
He looked up at the sound of Janus' door, and indicated the mostly-full coffee pot with a nod. Janus gratefully filled a mug for himself and lightened it thoroughly with cream, drinking deep as he stood angled so that he could offer critique and suggestions on the crossword.
"No, shush," Janus said, though Logan had not spoken. "It's gotta be White. Y'know, Betty? C'mon. Most-loved Gold? It's obvious."
Logan just smiled and penned in “White” in the horizontal boxes, immediately able to fill in the Down clues crossing them.
Once the puzzle was complete, Janus refilled his coffee and sat properly at the kitchen island. 
"So, if you're amenable-" Logan began. "I believe I'm prepared to discuss yesterday in more detail."
Janus nodded. "Did you want to start off?"
"Yes, I think I must. Because there was one detail that I wasn't quite prepared to share that I think will be quite helpful in securing a full understanding."
At Janus' encouraging nod, Logan closed his eyes to take a breath, and said, "The truth is, I'm an aromantic asexual. That's why the concept of a soulmate was so upsetting to me, particularly because up until this week I had assumed I didn't have one."
Janus looked down. "I'm ace, too, but not aro, and... yeah, same boat, mostly. I thought I wouldn't have one, but when we started to glow, I assumed it must be romantic. But that must not be the case."
Logan tented his fingers together. "So you're not aro, but you do have a QPP?"
"Yeah - I definitely can experience romantic attraction, but what I feel for Patton has always been stronger, and different."
"I'd like to hear about him, if you'd be willing," Logan said softly, and was rewarded by a smile that seemed about to glow as brightly as his soulmark on Janus' face.
"Oh, he's just the best," Janus gushed. "I met him at the perfect time in my life. I'd just been dumped by an asshole because he couldn't deal with the fact that the asexual part wasn't just me being a tease. I was feeling pretty low, post-college, all alone in a new apartment, and then this beam of sunshine turns out to be the kind of neighbor who brings cookies as a greeting. Even though I wasn't exactly receptive, he just kept coming back, even just to check up on me, and soon I found myself looking forward to it, and then inviting myself over in return."
Logan paused. "Wait, your ex broke up with you because you were ace? Was it a surprise?"
Janus rolled his eyes. "No, not in the least. I'd told him, and reminded him, and he'd just been assuming I would 'get over it,' the fucker. Right after the breakup, there were times I wondered if he was right, if I should have just powered through my repulsion to make him happy. But Patton was amazing about that, too. When he heard what happened - oh my goodness, he was so angry on my behalf, he looked like he was going to Hulk out. And then he made it his mission to make sure I was being validated in my identity and knew that I was eminently lovable both in spite of and because of my aceness."
Logan smiled. "That's wonderful. I can see why you love him so much."
Janus sighed happily. "And it hasn't changed even though he's met his allo soulmate. Roman knows that our bond isn't and will never be a threat to theirs, and he makes Pat so happy. They're planning their wedding right now, but they've already signed all the papers and it'll just be a party where they gush about each other in public."
Janus sat for a moment, basking in the glow of his affection for Patton, before he turned to Logan and asked, “You have a QPP too, right?”
“I do,” Logan said, a smile stretching across his face unconsciously. “Their name is Virgil. And they’re also married to their soulmate.”
“Tell me about them,” Janus said, when Logan fell silent. 
“They’re- they are just amazing. They’re my best friend, have been since about fourth grade. ” Logan’s eyes went a bit misty as he considered his childhood. “We bonded over being surrounded by idiots, after a debate simulation where we were on opposing sides.”
Janus smirked. “You mean I’m not your first? I’m heartbroken.”
Logan shot him a glare, but it had none of true anger’s heat.
“I guess we always had the feeling that we weren’t quite like everyone else. Besides the introverted tendencies, it wasn’t really a shock when they came out as nonbinary. They’d been online, discovering new terms, and in learning about their identity I ran into the aro and ace labels. I felt seen, do you know what I mean? And then Virgil just compounded that feeling by immediately understanding and accepting me. They call me a brother, just to explain that our relationship isn’t “just” friends.”
“What was it like when they met their soulmate?” Janus asked. 
“It wasn’t nearly as smooth as your experience seems to have been,” Logan admitted.
“Their husband is... unique. Prone to rather odd fixations and interests. But he’s also demisexual, and like us, had thought he wouldn’t have a soulmate. And part of his defense mechanism against that kind of rejection was, well. Embracing his off-putting side. Being disgusting for the sake of it. Grossing out others before they could judge him for his orientation.”
Janus grimaced. “I know that feeling, all too well. Donning a mask, so that a rejection won’t be of you, just your persona.”
“Exactly,” Logan said, nodding. “I don’t think it helped that both Virgil’s and Remus’ soulmarks were in their hair. They’d both dyed their hair many times over the years, but it wasn’t enough to hide it. And once they had shown up- there was no more pretending.”
“Was it hard for them?” Janus asked. 
“Accepting it was. But then they started actually talking and then it just- clicked. All those macabre interests that overlapped, the mutual obsession with MCR. They fell in love the minute they both let their walls down. And like you said- it never really changed what I had with Virge. They didn’t meet Reme until college, and didn’t get married until last year. So Virge told Reme that I was here to stay, and part of their life, and he accepted it without a blink. He’s a forensic archeologist now, to Virge’s forensic detective, so they’ve actually both been helpful in cases, too.”
“That’s... kind of adorable, in a weird way,” Janus said, scrunching his nose. 
Logan chuckled. “‘Adorable in a weird way’ is the best possible description for their relationship.”
Janus tapped his finger on the island. “That sounds so familiar, though, and I can’t quite place it.” He closed his eyes, murmuring under his breath. “Wait! Is Virgil’s husband an Augustus?”
“That was his surname, yes, though now it’s Angelico-“
“Oh my god!” Janus burst out. “That’s Patton’s brother-in-law!”
“What?”
“Roman Augustus! That’s his soulmate’s name! And he had a twin, but they had a falling out and haven’t been in contact for a couple of years. But he said he’d been in forensics!”
Logan blinked. “Well, it is certainly a small world. Not that Remus has ever talked about his brother, but I knew he had one.”
“That’s kind of crazy. What are the chances?” Janus asked, laughing. 
Logan looked pointedly over. “Do you really want to know? I could calculate them-“
“Thanks, calculator watch, but I’m good.”
They both chuckled quietly, sitting side by side at the kitchen island. 
“Hey, uh- thank you for trusting me, with the other day, and with this,” Janus said softly. 
“I owe you thanks as well,” Logan replied. “I don’t frequently have the opportunity to talk about Virgil in detail and it’s- it’s nice.”
Janus just beamed, returning the sentiment without words. 
In that moment, the sunlight of the room was tinged with colored light, gold and blue overlapping into rich emerald.
Logan hesitated, seeing it, but after a moment lifted his arm. Janus smiled and leaned in, accepting the offered side-hug.
“Hey Finch- I mean, Logan?”
“Yes Janus?”
“I may not be sure yet why we’re soulmates, but I’m definitely not disappointed that we are.”
A beat.
Then a soft murmur replied, “Neither am I.”
Later that afternoon, Logan returned from stocking up on more food to find Janus lying upside-down on the couch, lanky legs dangling over the back. His face was red enough to show that he’d been sitting there for a while as the blood rushed downward.
“I cannot imagine that is at all comfortable,” Logan commented drily, neatly putting away the packets of noodles and snacks he’d purchased.
“It helps me think,” Janus replied. “Especially when I’m trying to see something from another perspective.”
Logan’s eyes narrowed. “This better not have been a set-up just to make that terrible pun.”
Janus looked over, grinning. “It actually started that way, not gonna lie. I’d been venting to Patton about an oral argument simulation in law school and he suggested this as a joke. And then it actually helped.”
Logan huffed in what sounded suspiciously like a muffled laugh and came to sit more normally in a chair next to the couch. “So what is it that you’re trying to change your perception of so literally?”
“Our case, actually - Gomex.” At Logan’s quizzical look, he replied, “The partners aren’t letting me onto new cases until they know I’ll be back in person. I’m getting bored. So I thought, you know. Why not figure out what I was missing in this one.” He shrugged, an odd contortion for an inverted torso.
“You were missing something? But you won at trial.”
“And I was caught off-guard by your appeal - or at least, the part where it survived my motion to dismiss.”
Logan allowed himself a satisfied smirk. “Surprised you with my impeccable research, did I? All my rock-solid precedent pointing out the clear error in the original jury instruction?”
Janus’ legs kicked idly in the air. “Your research is always impeccable. Of course you were able to find precedent on-point for the general issue, you’re good at this. But the facts of the case are just so different that how could any of those past rulings be definitive?”
Logan leaned back in his chair, tapping the arm pensively. “Wait, so you really believe that? It wasn’t just a tactic to make Gomex feel like they’re getting their money’s worth for your legal fees?”
Janus finally righted himself, sitting upright with a leg balancing on the coffee table. “Well, yeah , of course I do. I don’t take the time and effort to go to trial for bullshit unless the client can’t be talked down from combat mode. Racking up charges for unnecessary trial prep is only fun when they don’t take my advice.” He looked quizzically at Logan. “So you really didn’t see the difference between Gomex and, what, Sourgoutsis?”
“No material difference, no. It’s in the right circuit, it’s recent and binding, and it established a test that clearly applies here.”
“But the test requires knowledge!”
“Knowing includes reckless disregard for the truth, and Gomex had that.”
“Oh, you can hardly say it’s reckless when all the claims were paid without issue for a decade!”
Logan leaned forward, counting off points on his fingers. “The guidance is updated each year. The commentary points out the changes. Gomex has to certify as a company that they accept all current guidance and direction. If they didn’t actually know they were submitting false claims, they should have known, and had a duty to know.”
Janus’ eyes were flashing, but more with excitement than anger. “But even the commentary didn’t clarify that these specific claims would no longer be accepted in the future. Doesn’t the agency have a duty to be clear about changes in accepted policy when the code is so vast and companies used past claims as standards for future approval?”
“But the companies are the experts in their own industries. They should know that these kind of differences are significant and material.”
Janus sat up fully straight, pointing enthusiastically. “That’s it!”
“What’s it?”
“I figured it out! It is a matter of perspective. But not the perspective of side versus side, like I was thinking. It’s time.”
Logan leaned in, leaning his elbows on his knees. “Expand, please.”
Janus nodded, mirroring Logan’s pose even as his hands remained free to gesture. “So you’re looking at this as: company knows their procedures best, they’re the ones making profit off it, so their duty to know details is higher than the public agency. Right?”
Logan nodded.
“Here’s where I’m coming from - it’s not a question of if this company knew or should have known this distinction, or even if this industry has the expertise that the agency lacks. It’s about what this case would do to the Sourgoutsis test for cases in the future. If the agency doesn’t have to clarify a policy change now, why would it ever? If it’s not enough that companies rely on a long history of approval here, when will it ever be? Do you follow, Logan?”
Logan linked his fingers, tapping the tips of his forefingers gently. “So your concern is about using a history of compliance as evidence of good faith?”
“Exactly, yes.”
“But Gomex knew that the change meant the compliant history was no longer relevant.”
“Only because they had insider knowledge of the change process. Not from the public information.”
“Wait, so you agree that Gomex knew?”
Janus grinned sheepishly, baring all his teeth. “Well, we’re both off the case now, so- yeah. They knew or should have known their claims would get rejected and banked on the agency not noticing for just long enough.”
Logan gasped. “But you still went into court and got the jury to agree with you that they didn’t!?”
Janus shrugged pragmatically. “It’s not about Gomex, it’s about the precedent this will set. I’d rather one bad actor get away with it now than have who-knows-how-many claims get screwed in the future for a good-faith misunderstanding.”
“Especially if that bad actor is paying you millions to help them get away with it?” Logan asked with an eyebrow raised.
Janus raised one of his own. “So you’d rather let a bad test become binding because the agency is paying you millions to get it set in stone?”
Logan, about to respond hotly, paused. “I suppose that’s a fair assessment. I didn’t think it was that bad a test until now - I assumed the insider knowledge would be baked into the standard.”
“You gotta think cynically, Mr. Finch,” Janus said with a chuckle. “Picture the worst-faith application and work backwards from there, cause you know it’ll end up happening.”
“Hmm,” Logan said with a quiet laugh. “When you’re right, you’re right.”
Janus fluttered his lashes. “The great Logan Finch thinks I’m right about something. My life’s goal is achieved.”
“Hey, I think you’re correct quite a lot!” Logan objected. “Infuriatingly precise and pedantic, sure, but ultimately right. There’s a reason my firm sends me against you - no one else wants to fight what’ll be a losing battle half the time.”
“Only half?”
“Even you must admit I’ve been correct on more than one occasion,” Logan said with a smile.
“That is true,” Janus admitted. “Knowing that you’re going to be the opposing counsel always makes me up my game.”
“The feeling’s mutual,” Logan said wryly. “I’d never admit it to the other partners, but you make me a better lawyer, Janus.”
The flattered glow of Janus’ grin was immediately dwarfed by two other, brighter bursts of light. Gold and blue pulsed from their backs in a flash, then settled into steady light. The colors lit the stylish room, blending to emerald as they pulsed in time with each man’s heartbeat. Logan looked at the glow reflected on the white couch cushions with wonder as he realized that Janus’ back  was no longer shining blue, but green. He caught his eyes and realized his own glow must have changed colors as well.
The lights pulsed more and more gently until they dimmed and went out, leaving Janus and Logan sitting across from one another just as the last of the sunlight fell below the horizon and the room went dark. 
The silence stretched for several moments, until Janus finally broke it with a bemused, “Huh.”
“So that was-”
“I think so.
“So now we’re-”
“Bonded, yeah. I think.”
“That would be a logical assumption.”
The silence returned, each man lost in his own thoughts. When they spoke again, it was at once.
“Maybe we should-”
“Perhaps we could still-”
“-make sure it’s permanent?
“-take a few days more?”
They shared a grin.
“A couple more days couldn’t hurt,” Janus said. “After all, it could be a fluke. We wouldn’t want to set a standard from a mere fluke.”
“Oh, of course not,” Logan responded with the same tone of amusement. “We want to confirm the integrity of the test.”
Janus stood to flick on a light, then turned as a thought occurred. 
“Wait, Logan - even once we go back, we won’t be able to be opposing counsel anymore. The soulmate code will still be applied, even though we’re not romantic or QP soulmates.”
Logan’s face fell for a moment, then lit up once more as he stood. “Well, we’ve got a couple days at least. I think the two best lawyers in the state might be able to argue that every precedent has an exception, don’t you, Mr. Alighieri?”
Janus’ smile mirrored Logan’s own as he replied, “Why yes, Mr. Finch, I think we might.”
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plus-size-reader · 4 years
Text
Jealousy
Tumblr media
Duncan x Plus size!reader
Word Count: 1647 words
Warnings: none 
Summary: Duncan’s gf getting upset over Courtney so she flirts with someone else to make him jealous
——————————————————————————————————
Inviting you to participate in Total Drama Island a few weeks into the show had been Chris' idea.
He thought that it would be an interesting turn of events after seeing all the obvious chemistry between Duncan and Courtney. After all, what could be better for ratings than relationship drama. 
Though, now that you were here, you had really started to rethink agreeing to this. 
Everything had been on edge pending your arrival, mostly due to the fact that they weren’t sure what the surprise Chris had planned was. Though, when you stepped off the boat onto the deck, the jitters faded...for the most part. 
The only person who even looked remotely excited was Duncan, your loving boyfriend who you’d missed dearly since he’d left to film this show in the first place. 
“Oh hell yes!” he grinned, making his way over to your side as soon as he realized what was going on. This had to have been some kind of joke or maybe Chef had slipped something into his lunch today. 
However, when he actually reached out to wrap his arms around you, all thoughts of strange acid trips faded away to just holding you against him. It had been way too long since he’d been anywhere near someone he could remotely tolerate, and it was nice. 
You were his lady, after all. 
“Hi baby, you miss me?” you smiled, laughing as he twirled you side to side in his arms, just trying to make peace with the fact that this was reality. He had been dreaming about this since he’d gotten on the boat, and it was really solid to get to see you. 
It was nice. 
Though,the two of you couldn’t hang out on the dock all day. You had come here for a reason, after all and you couldn’t just ignore that in favor of never leaving Duncan’s side. 
As much as you wanted to. 
“Of course I missed you. C’mon, I have some people you should meet” he suggested, taking your hand in his own before using that as leverage to yank you toward the rest of the cast. 
Not that he got very far before Chris stopped you both. 
“Not so fast you two. I think that’s my job” he cheesed, showing off his fake television host persona so aggressively that it nearly snapped your neck. It didn’t match anything of the man you’d spoken to over the phone to start this whole thing in motion. 
Still, you did as he suggested, stopping in your tracks to let him do his thing. 
“Campers, this is your special surprise...though it’s more of a surprise for Duncan than anything” he laughed, stopping for dramatic effect before continuing. “This is Y/N, Duncan’s girlfriend” 
Everyone had put that together by now, but that didn’t stop the chorus of gasps and ‘booyah’s that came from the crowd in front of you. The girls were obviously sizing you up, while the boys were mouthing congratulations to their buddy. 
...This was going to be fun. 
Duncan'd had plenty of time to get established with these people in the past week or so, but all you knew about them was what you’d seen when the episodes go live every day and that wasn’t saying much. 
You had made it a rule to not believe anything you saw until it was with your own two eyes. It was much simpler that way, and let you not have any bias from the jump. 
However, that rule kind of disintegrated when you found yourself talking about Courtney. 
You weren’t stupid, you had seen the obvious connection between the two of them. It usually wouldn’t have bothered you, of course, because you weren’t jealous in nature and you knew that Duncan couldn’t have been more in love with you. 
Still, you couldn’t help yourself in this situation. 
You had been at home missing him all this time while he was living it up on some island with some wannabe camp counselor. Anyone in their right mind would have been upset and you wouldn’t apologize for that. 
Even though you simply smiled at her as you passed, holding tightly to Duncan’s hand as you did so. 
Arguing with her wouldn’t do you any good. 
Correction, arguing with her shouldn’t have done you any good. However, that didn’t mean that you were completely helpless to stop whatever it was that was going on between them. 
...And there was only one way to do that. 
You just had to make Duncan understand what you were feeling, and once he realized how awful it was, he would straighten up real quick. You were sure of it, but having a plan wasn’t enough to fix this. 
You actually had to go through with it. 
So, you swallowed the nausea building up in the back of your throat at the idea of what you were about to do and smiled. Chris had just told you all about a trust exercise that you would be doing this morning, and everyone got to choose their partner. 
Naturally, Duncan assumed that you, his girlfriend, would want to participate with him but instead of meeting him at his side, you bypassed him completely. 
Rather than jump into his arms like he’d been expecting, you found your way to Trent’s side. 
You two hadn’t really talked in all your time here, but that didn’t matter to you. All you needed was to make a display out of today, and he was going to let you do that. 
“Hey Trent, I was thinking that maybe you and I could be partners today” you hummed, smiling at him while also batting your eyelashes at him just for added effect. He looked shocked, as anyone would be at this point. 
However, he nodded. 
That was the best thing about Trent as far as you were concerned in this moment, because he didn’t think about what you were doing enough to even realize how bad of an idea it was. 
...But you could. 
You could practically feel Duncan glaring into the back of your head, finding it hard to believe that you were reacting this way. He didn’t get it, but that didn’t change the fact that he shrugged it off and made his way over to Courtney. 
Two could play at this game. 
Duncan had always told you that he wasn’t jealous, boasting that it wasn’t in his nature but you had never truly tested that theory until now. Though, to be fair, you had never had reason to. 
In all the time that you and Duncan had been together, he had never even looked in the direction of another girl but something about Courtney changed that. 
She just got to him in a way that no one else did and you hated it. 
You weren’t jealous, you just weren’t, but it didn’t matter. All you could really think about was how mad you were over the fact that he didn't even put up a fight over you. 
He could just be so frustrating, but that was fine, because you had the perfect partner for this whole thing. 
...Or at least, you thought you had. 
Everything was going fine until you got to the trust fall portion of the exercise, trying to build up to the final challenge. You closed your eyes and lent back, giving in fully to the process. 
However, the second Trent’s hands met your skin, Duncan freaked out. 
That just wasn’t cool. 
“Hey man! Why don’t you back off?!” he yelled, shoving the scrawny male away from you. The action left you sitting in the sand of the beach but you didn’t care. 
Instead, you focused more on the fact that Duncan was now holding Trent down to the ground, content with pummelling his face in for the offense. It was overkill, and everyone knew it, but they also couldn't stop it. 
Duncan was, perhaps, the only person here who didn’t have a problem with fist fighting on television. 
...But you weren’t going to let that happen. 
Maybe it was your fault, you had put this on him after all. Trent didn’t know what he was getting set up for but you did. You knew that Duncan wouldn’t be able to handle it and you’d done it anyway. 
In that way, you were definitely to blame. 
“Duncan, Stop!” you urged, rushing over to their side to shove the man off. Trent hadn’t even done anything worthy of the shiner he’d have in the morning, not that Duncan cared. 
Anything involving him touching you would have been too much. 
“Yeah, let’s break it up you two” Chris chimed in, earning an eye roll from you at his late interjection. You all knew he wouldn’t have done anything had it not been for the clear issue it would cause. 
Duncan wouldn’t have stopped until they had to cart Trent off to the hospital otherwise. 
“Come on, you need to cool down” you urged, knowing that getting him as far away from this situation as possible would be best for everyone. Besides, you two clearly needed to talk. 
You should have never done this in the first place. Granted, no one said that Duncan had to go on a punching spree either. 
You just needed to clear the air. 
Now, Duncan didn’t want to do as you asked. It was clear that no one could have really stopped him from rearranging this poser's facial structure, but it also wasn’t much of a question. 
You weren’t asking him to leave and come with you, you were telling him that he needed to, and he was going to listen. 
Even Duncan knew well enough to know that you wouldn’t ask twice. He just had to hope that it wasn’t going to be too bad once the two of you were behind closed doors. 
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luninosity · 3 years
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Okay, so, some Falcon and the Winter Soldier thoughts (will have some spoilers) for episodes two and three. General non-spoilery comment first: I feel like these were both *okay* episodes - neither as good as the first, but I didn’t dislike them, either. I’m still really curious to see how we’re going to wrap this all up in three more episodes; it doesn’t feel like we’re halfway done yet!
Okay, more spoiler-y notes below the Read More, not in any real order, just as I think and type. I’ll probably forget some things, but for now, here’re some thoughts...
--I like ep 3 slightly more than ep 2, mostly because of Zemo!
--I actually really love Zemo here (I liked him in Civil War, too): complex, sardonic, enjoying poking at people, a villain we do feel sympathy for even as he’s still sharp enough to remind us that he is a villain. Daniel Bruhl has always done a fantastic job flipping between calculated cruelty, wry humor - the whole “I am a Baron” moment was great - and pain that for him is still raw, about the loss of his family. (Some things’re awfully cliche - look, the supervillain’s playing chess and reading Machiavelli in his cell? really? - but, y’know...sure. Why not. We expect some cliches in the superhero genre, and this is an inoffensive one.)
--also Zemo dancing. That’s it. That’s everything.
--moving on from that: I’m also really liking how they’re writing John Walker. He does have charm, and there’s a certain amount of sympathy - especially as we see him worrying about filling the Captain America shoes, in ep 2 - but we’re also getting this really subtle sense of wrongness about him. He’s clearly vindictive and angry when things (and people) don’t act according to his mental script for them, and he’s willing to use his name and power to do things like get Bucky released...which in context and given our sympathies for Bucky is a good thing, but...it’s also an indicator of his willingness to do what he wants, because he can. (To be fair, Steve Rogers also often did that! - but Steve earned our trust, both in narrative and character. From his first introduction to WWII leadership experience to all the Avengers stuff, Steve consistently acts to protect people, and he’ll also listen if someone else has a good idea or if someone needs to talk, like with Wanda.) So I’m really liking this slow-fuse character development.
--mixed feelings about Sharon. I love that the show’s acknowledging how much she sacrificed for our main heroes, with no reward. On the other hand, she also clearly knew the consequences that could happen; she said as much at the time. The level of bitterness seems like a lot. But I’m also interested in everything we still don’t know about her - if she’s not the Power Broker herself, she’s obviously Up To Something. So that should be fun.
--hey, look at that X-Men location, with Majipoor! Also a nod to Wolverine’s favorite bar there, I think?
--I love heist and disguise plots!
--I also really like Bucky’s having to revert to the Winter Soldier - Sebastian Stan does it so brilliantly, with so many layers of emotion: not wanting to, loathing it, recognizing the necessity, shutting off all emotion and just coldly doing it, hurting but covering it up...just fantastic, and you know I love some hurt/comfort, and this seems like such a great set-up for emotional hurt
--but! this also seems like...a weird plot hole, kind of? Bucky’s pretty famous at this point, right? I imagine the criminal underworld knows he’s been pardoned and deprogrammed, right? or do they assume Zemo, with his knowledge of Hydra, still has some special control over him?
--along the same “this seems like someone didn’t think this through” path, Sam, you’re a professional, turn off your phone on a mission. Oh my god. Face-palmingly stupid - and I think somewhat lazy writing, as the writers plainly needed a giveaway, and went for the first idea they had. Even if it made a main character look incompetent.
--the Flag Smashers and Karli are...fine. They feel very Generic Marvel Villain - not the big space alien type, but the other type, the “I have a personal loss and motivating pain so I’m a little sympathetic but also Clearly Evil, watch me kill civilians so the audience won’t ever find me TOO sympathetic” type. Meh. Fine. Zemo’s more interesting, but...fine.
--Anthony Mackie is such a fantastic actor - every bit of his reaction to the Isaiah Bradley reveal is so good. The anger, pain, frustration, ferocity...heartbreaking. Actually that whole scene is so good - his emotions at discovering this secret history are palpable, and it’s so painful, because we also understand why Bucky would keep the secret - as someone who knows about pain and trauma and being experimented on, and knowing Isaiah wants to be left alone - we feel really deeply for both characters here, and it’s great.
--I actually liked the abrupt swing from the Isaiah Bradley encounter to the casual everyday racism of the cops on the street - is it subtle, no. But it’s not meant to be: it’s meant to be standing up and shouting about how not that much has really changed, and about how pervasive racism is. I know some reviews were all, “this was just too much!” or “too forced!” but...look, it needs to be shouted sometimes for people to hear.
--Bucky’s notebook being Steve’s, oh, ouch, my feelings. If I had the time and energy to write fic...
--(also, if I had the time and energy to write dark!fic: where’re my fics in which Zemo’s implication about the Winter Soldier “doing anything you want” gets played with? what or who does Bucky have to do to keep the undercover charade going? so many Bad Wrong Kinky power dynamics and explorations of consent and what this would do to Bucky’s head, here, and honestly I’d totally read them all, just saying.)
--Sam and Bucky together...I don’t know. This is one of the elements that I’m not actually a huge fan of, but I think it’s partly a personal genre / sense of humor thing that’s not clicking for me, personally, again. Like...
--I don’t find people shouting aggrievedly at each other to be funny? I’m not sure why it is.
--I mean, I get that they’re doing, like, eighties buddy cop movies, but...it got old really fast then, and it’s not something we needed to bring back. It’s not clever, and it’s...well, shouty and annoying.
--(I say this as someone who genuinely likes the first two Lethal Weapon movies...but the significant difference is, I think, we’re also shown in both those movies that Riggs and Murtaugh care about each other. They don’t want to be partners initially, and they don’t get along initially, and they do argue over tactics**...but they immediately feel responsible for each other and act to protect each other even as they argue, because it’s the right thing to do and we’re shown moments of them awkwardly trying to connect, because they both have that deep sense of...protectiveness...that makes them Good People - like, if they learn something that the other person needs to know, they tell each other. They protect each other’s families / love interests. So by the end of the second movie, with that fabulous character death fake-out, Murtaugh’s initial shock and grief is real and powerful and painful, and so is his genuine relief when the worst isn’t true - and it’s all earned.) (**however, they tend to argue tactics *before* jumping in - “is it 1, 2, 3, go on 3? or 3, then go?” And then once that’s established, they go ahead. That makes a difference as far as...well...competence and teamwork!)
--(Sam and Bucky, as far as I can tell, don’t do the above, and just...maybe shouldn’t be working together?)
--I also don’t find grown men acting like my youngest nephew, when he’s having a temper tantrum, to be funny. Staring contests? Random insults? Sulking in silence? Oh, grow up.
--(Also, yes, writers, we see you with the “couples therapy” and “get closer and make your legs touch” and “landing on top of each other as they hit the ground” moments. I, at least, personally, am very tired of...I don’t know that I’d call it queerbaiting exactly, but this idea that we’re supposed to find these moments funny...because why? Because, ooh, they’re two men getting close to each other, physically or emotionally? Why is this a thing we need to draw attention to? Do you think you’re doing some sort of fan service? Please either make Sam/Bucky happen or stop doing this.)
--both Sam and Bucky are highly competent and professional agents, or they should be. They should know how to work in the field - even with people they may not like - and adapt to shifting strategy, make best use of available assets, include people in the plan, etc. I can’t help but compare this to something like, say, Leverage, which also has a team who mocks each other and makes jokes but clearly absolutely respects each other’s capabilities, has a plan going in and tells everyone what the plan is, and adapts (and trusts each other to adapt) on the fly as necessary, and does it all without random insults about someone’s (PTSD-related) staring and “robot brain”.
--one of the very specific moments that bothers me a lot is the ending of the therapy scene (yay for showing heroes in therapy! but also I’m pretty sure she’s...not a great therapist?). Bucky finally opens up and says something real, about his own self-doubt and wondering whether Steve was wrong about him....and Sam just...brushes it off and goes, “we’re done here,” basically. Not only does that feel wildly out of character for former counselor Sam, it feels cruel. I really deeply dislike that moment the more I think about it. Makes me want to scream.
--Sam insults Bucky way more than the other way around. It’s starting to feel very one-sided (it’d be better if more clearly reciprocal, though it’s still not a dynamic that’s my favorite), and again, feels out of character - maybe this is Anthony Mackie’s sense of humor, but Sam isn’t Mackie, and Bucky isn’t Seb, and it reads as...a weird unbalanced power-trip thing to me. And also out of character for Sam, who can be sarcastic (”If you guys eat that sort of thing,” about breakfast, when Steve and Nat have randomly shown up at his door) but that’s not the same as just throwing unprovoked insults at a person who’s trying to recover from trauma, and a lot of those insults seem to center on things that were done to Bucky, that he had no choice in (the staring, the arm, etc), and that feels....it just feels mean, to me. Make fun of things he’s had a choice in / can do something about, if you have to - hair, clothes, liking “old people’s games” like gin rummy or pinochle, not knowing who Beyonce is, I don’t know, there are so many options that aren’t cruel! Do that instead. Let Bucky have a good comeback for once, too!
--the action scenes are action scenes. Also fine.
--Sam might be right about destroying the shield, and the show may even be (unintentionally?) setting that up as the best outcome, but that’s a problem for the future, Sam; get it back first. Also it’s a problem you caused by giving the shield up - did you really trust the government to leave it unused in a museum? You’re not that naive.
--overall, it’s...a perfectly fine show, so far, I think? Solid, and interesting, but not great. I think some of what doesn’t work for me is because it doesn’t work for me personally, as far as the shouty insult-heavy action “comedy” bits that I’m not enjoying, but I think they’re doing what they aimed for with it, so in that sense, I guess it’s working? There’s a lot of really cool stuff around the edges - John Walker, Isaiah Bradley, that Dora Milaje stinger, the bigger world of a history interwoven with racism and superpowers, the chillingly effective use of Bucky’s past - but I wish I liked the central Sam-Bucky relationship more. Individually they’re wonderful - they’ve both had such powerful scenes dealing with family, trauma, and consequences - but I feel like, in the effort to do the buddy comedy dynamic, the writing has just made me really sure that they actually genuinely don’t like each other? To such an extent that if they show any affection / caring / interest in each other in the last three episodes, it won’t be believable. (I mean Sam and Bucky, not Mackie and Seb. Mackie and Seb’re adorable.)
--I just want to think about Zemo dancing some more.
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Camp Blue Side - Part Three
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Pairing: Jung Hoseok x Reader
Genre: Summer Camp AU, Non Idol AU
Rating: 18+ (eventual smut)
Word Count: 5.5k
Warnings: Swearing, angst, (more in future parts)
Summary: Last summer, sparks flew between you and Hoseok. He had an unforgettable smile, and you were putty in his hands. By the end of the summer, promises were made and you shared your phone number. But he never called. This summer, you're back at camp with a vengeance. Ghosted or not, you're ready for some friendly competition. He may be a Camp Blue Side veteran, but you won't back down.
Notes: This fic has been updated and is now part of the Summer of Love Collab! Please join us as we finish summer strong with seven summer themed fics!
Summer of Love Masterlist
Banner: @sunshinejunghoseokie​
Camp Blue Side - Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four
~~~~~~~
How did it come to this?
You are walking slowly to the camp office where you will meet with Hoseok and the LCT. The two of you will likely be reprimanded, but could she fire you? Would she fire you halfway through camp? She’s had a stick up her ass all summer, but would she actually go as far to remove you from Team Two?
This isn’t who you are, the yelling and screaming. But the competition, wanting to crush Hoseok, has affected you too much. It’s affecting the kids too, and it honestly makes you sick. As you drag your feet to the meeting, the events of the past three weeks unfold clearly in your mind.
~~~~~~~
Kick Ball
“Who wants to beat Team One?!” You shout to a crowd of campers, and they cheer in response. You’ve got a great group of campers this year. It’s still day one, so everyone is still pumped and not too tired to give it their all.
Jessica, an athletic 13 year old, is up to pitch the kickball to Team One’s first kicker. The anticipation builds as she finds her grip on the rubber ball. Hoseok is muttering something to his kicker, some kind of pep talk as he walks up to the plate.
“Great pitch!” Mack yells as Jessica throws the ball down to home plate. Hoseok’s kicker strikes himself out and you’ve never been so stoked to see a child fail to kick a ball. You wouldn’t let them see it, but you’re beaming inside.
“Yes! Great job Jessica!” You cheer from the sidelines.
“That’s alright Braden, you’ll get it next time buddy!” Hoseok comforts his kicker as he returns to the back of the line. You feel a little tug on your shirt and look behind you to see a short boy looking up at you. What is his name again?
“Y/N, can I pitch in the next inning?” The scrawny boy asks. Jessica has already managed to strike someone out, taking her off the pitching mound would risk the game.
“Well, uh, champ, let’s see how Jessica does and then we’ll decide, okay?” As the words come out of your mouth, you feel dirty. You know this isn’t what camp is about.
But Jessica strikes out two more players from Hoseok’s team before they can score any points. Hoseok has his back turned to you, talking to his players, but Yeonjun looks frustrated already and that feels fucking great.
“Let’s keep it going! Who are my strong kickers?” You ask everyone, not addressing the camper in front of you again. The boy sulks away, and doesn’t ask to pitch again.
~~~~~~~
Egg & Spoon Race
An American classic event, the egg and spoon race. It is simple, but by no means is it easy. Especially not when the spoons are held by uncoordinated children. Luckily, Seokjin protested the waste of real eggs and the kids are using ping pong balls instead. So at least there won’t be a huge mess.
The first week of camp is almost over and you’ve had the chance to get to know your campers a little more. Currently they are taking turns running down the field with the spoon. They have to run down the field and come back to tag the next person in line. So far, they are pretty even with their opponents, Team One and Team Three.
“Hey, Y/N, Jakobi said he doesn’t want to do this activity, what should I do?” Mack asks.
Jakobi, poor Jakobi. He was the kid that you turned down for pitching in kickball earlier this week.
“I’ll go talk to him.” You reply. He is standing out of the line of campers, and you jog over to him. “Hey buddy, what’s going on?”
“I don’t want to play this game.” He sulks. “I’m not fast enough.” His explanation hits you in the chest. This is your fault, isn’t it?
“This game isn’t about being fast! It’s about having a steady hand.” You reply cheerfully.
“What do you mean?” He asks, looking up at you with his big brown eyes.
“Here, hold your hands out like this.” You put your hands out in front of you, and he follows suit. “See, your hands are frozen, not moving at all! You won’t drop the egg, and that’s more important than being fast.”
Jakobi, pleased with this response, gets back in line and waits for his turn to help the team. You hadn’t been paying attention to the race for a few minutes, but it looks like your team has actually managed to pull ahead of Hoseok’s.
“Alright Jakobi! You got this!” You cheer as he gets tagged in. Jakobi begins walking down the field. Slowly. “Maybe a little faster, champ!” You cheer again.
“You said I could go slow!” He stops in the middle of the field to talk to you.
“You can, you can! Just keep going please.” You try to reassure him, but you know the smile isn’t convincing.
“Ja-kob-i. Ja-kob-i.” You begin chanting, and the rest of your team does as well. Jakobi, still walking at a slow pace, makes it to the end of the field without dropping the egg, now he’s just got to make it back.
Unfortunately, Hoseok’s team is now on their last few campers. You look over and see Hoseok grinning like a fool. He’s pleased because he knows he’s going to win. You can feel the urge to scream at Jakobi to run, but before you do you lock eyes with him.
He’s beaming.
“I didn’t drop it!” Jakobi celebrates as he finally returns to his team and tags the next person in line.
“You did a great job Jakobi!” You smile and give him a high-five. Your team may lose this game, but at least they all played.
Team One’s last player crosses the finish line, then Team Three’s, then Team Two’s. The winning team cheers gleefully, celebrating their victory. The campers disperse from today’s Team Game and head to their cabins to get ready for dinner.
Hoseok is collecting the supplies from the game to return to the equipment. Your kids handed you the spoon and ping pong ball, so you have to hand it over to him. He’s already walking toward you to gather the supplies.
He’s wearing a white tank top and his beige bucket hat. Somehow he makes it look like high fashion. Just a few days into camp and he’s already gotten a tan. His golden skin glows in the sunlight.
“Hey Y/N, great game.” He laughs, words dripping with sarcasm. You stop about five feet away from him and drop the spoon and ping pong ball on the grass before walking away. “Come on, don’t be a sore loser.”’
“Don’t be a sore winner, Hobi.”
It stops you dead in your tracks. The nickname that you called him last summer just slipped out in your frustration. A lump forms in your throat, and before you can even think about what to do, your feet are running away from him.
~~~~~~~
The Prank
Early in the week, a few counselor’s decided to sneak into cabin 13. Of course Jimin and Jungkook were involved, along with the two female counselor’s they’ve been wooing. Seokjin told you that they were found out because they ran screaming from the cabin after they saw a ghost.
Cabin 13, the long abandoned cabin at the edge of camp, has been used for smoking weed, secret rendezvous, and pranks. Officially, it’s on standby in case the infirmary fills up or if something contagious breaks out.
Several times last summer, you and Hoseok snuck out about a couple hours after lights out to chill and smoke weed. The weed he brought to camp wasn’t very strong, so it really just took the edge of things. The conversations you had there are what cemented your romance. He loved to talk about the stars and what lies beyond them, and it filled the air with mystery.
“Guys, guys! Guess what!” Ryujin approaches you and Seokjin outside the Mess Hall, just after dinner.
“What is it? I don’t like to guess.” Seokjin responds.
“Yeonjun asked me to meet him at cabin 13.” She’s beaming. Her excitement reminds you of the feeling you had when Hoseok first asked you to go there with him.
“Shh!” Seokjin hushes her. “Don’t let anyone hear you say that. Especially not those two.” He adds, pointing at Namjoon and the LCT.
“What? I thought you guys went there.”
“Yeah, sometimes. It’s an open secret, but you still don’t want to get caught there.” You explain.
“Being out past curfew is technically against the rules too, and Namjoon is a stickler for it.” Seokjin adds.
“Oh, well... Hoseok will be there too, he goes there like twice a week. We’ll be careful!” Ryujin turns and walks away.
“Did you hear that Jin?” You ask, a devious smile spreading across your face.
“Oh god, what are you thinking?” Seokjin replies nervously.
“Well, as Lead Counselor of this fine establishment, I think you should be in charge of ghost hunting.”
“Ghost hunting?” He questions.
It wasn’t quite ghost hunting you had in mind, actually. But manufacturing a ghost. One thing you know about Hoseok is that he firmly believes in spirits. It’s honestly surprising that he’s still willing to visit cabin 13 after Jungkook claimed to have seen a ghost there.
A little after midnight, Seokjin taps lightly on the door of your cabin. You open the door slowly and tiptoe out, white sheet in tow.
“What is that? They’re not gonna fall for that.” Seokjin whispers.
“Yes they will, once we prime them for it.” You respond.
Sneaking across camp is a little nerve-racking, but you manage to make it to the side of camp with the boys cabin and then to the north side of camp when cabin 13 is located. You hold up your hand to stop Seokjin from moving any closer.
Holding a finger up to your lip, you signal him to be quiet so you can listen. You can hear giggling coming from the dark cabin, they’re in there.
“Let’s move.” Your whisper is barely audible.
As you approach the cabin, you can hear the group more clearly. Yeonjun is giggling and Ryujin is coughing. Hoseok, is muttering something you can’t make out. His voice is monotone, mellow. Seokjin and you lean up against the side of the cabin, under the window on the back wall.
“Okay so what’s the plan?” Seokjin whispers.
“We’re going to start by making scratching noises and thumping noises, then you’ll get in position.” You explain.
“What do you mean I’ll be getting into position?!” Seokjin whisper-shouts.
“Shh! Did you hear that?” Hoseok asks from inside the cabin.
“No, what was it?” Yeonjun asks, holding back his giggles.
“Just thought I heard something.”
Seokjin rolls his eyes and takes the sheet and wraps it around his shoulders. You search the ground and pick up a stray stick. You tap it against the wall a few times, but there’s no reaction from it. Instead of tapping it, you decide to scrape it against the wall slowly.
“Okay I heard it that time too.” Ryujin says.
“There must be something outside.” Hoseok replies, voice wavering.
“Yeah, it’s probably just an animal.” Yeonjun says.
You motion for Seokjin to cover himself with the sheet and crouch in front of the window, ready to jump. There is some whispering inside, so you decide to bang your fist against the wall loudly.
“Fuck!” Hoseok shouts.
“Just look out the window, it’s an animal!” Yeonjun replies. You hear some hesitant footsteps inching closer, then Seokjin springs up from the ground.
“GHOST!” Hoseok wails, and then you can hear the three of them scrambling to get out of the door on the other side of the cabin. The footsteps fade away as they sprint back to their respective cabins.
You and Seokjin fall on the ground, shaking with laughter.
“I can’t believe it worked” Seokjin gasps for air between laughs.
You stand from the ground after the laughter settles. Standing on your toes, you peer into the cabin window.
“Oh shit he left his bag of blunts! He must have really been scared.”
The two of you walk around to the front of the cabin and inspect the cabin. There’s a few empty beer cans and chip bags and the bag of blunts.
“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” You say, and Seokjin smiles.
~~~~~~~
Red Rover
In the heat of the afternoon, your campers are lined up across the field from their competitors, Team One. After a long day of singing, crafting, and other various outdoor activities, your campers are exhausted. It’s a triple digit day, and even you can’t deny that you’re feeling sluggish.
Red rover is a simple enough game, but Team One has more older boys and you’re afraid that your team won’t stand a chance, especially when they would much rather be cooling off in their cabins. Mack is currently attempting to give everyone a pep talk.
“I think we’re ready, Team One!” Mack yells across the field to Hoseok and Yeonjun. Both groups of campers hold hands with each other and prepare to hang on tight.
“Y’all won the last game, so go ahead and start us off!” Yeonjun announces.
“Let’s call for Tony.” You say in a loud whisper to your campers. You don’t trust them to pick an appropriate runner from the other team.
“Let them play.” Mack hisses at you. You look over at him, puzzled. “They are tired and you just need to let them play.” He must be grumpy from the heat.
“Fine, fine.” You raise your arms defensively.
“Red rover, red rover, let Tony come over!” Team Two shouts in unison. Tony, one of the smaller boys on Team One, does his best to sprint the distance between the two lines of campers. He tries his best, but does not manage to break through the bond on Team Two, so he is added to the line.
“Red rover red rover, let Hyuka come over!” Team One’s rebuttal is to take another small boy. Team Two naturally cheers for Hyuka as he runs over to Team One and he is successful in breaking through. He grabs a member of Team One and drags them over to your team.
“Great job guys! Keep it up!” You’re a little surprised that your team is actually winning right now.
After a few more rounds of red rover, the kids are really starting to sweat in the heat. But Team Two is still winning! Even after Jessica got taken into Team One.
“Hey campers, why don’t we go ahead and grab some ice pops in the Mess Hall!” Namjoon enthuses, practically sneaking up behind you.
“What? No! We’re winning!” You protest.
“Y/N,” Namjoon says, tilting his head at you. “It’s over one hundred degrees out here.”
“Ah... yes. Let’s go inside!” It’s embarrassing to let Namjoon catch you not putting the kids first. Even more embarrassing to watch him write something down his clipboard before motioning for the campers to follow him back to the Mess Hall.
“God, can you believe that?” You whisper to Mack, letting a good amount of distance fall between you and the flock of campers.
“You know, I honestly can’t believe you.” Mack stops in his tracks, glaring at you.
“What?” You gulp.
“Listen, you know I want to win games as much as the next guy, but you’re not putting campers first anymore. We’re almost halfway through the summer and you’re letting your stupid competition with Hoseok ruin the summer for our kids. I’m tired of it, Y/N.”
You’re completely speechless. You’ve never heard Mack yell at anyone before and now here he is, and Junior Counselor, berating you for ruining the summer?
“Just do better.” Mack says before jogging to catch up with the campers.
~~~~~~~
Freeze Tag
“If you see one of your teammates get frozen, make sure you help them get unfrozen. Does everyone understand?” All the campers agree to the rules of the game, and to the small bit of strategy you offered up.
This time, your team isn’t just up against Team One, but Team Three as well. It’s every man for himself, last man standing, truly a free for all. Though, you’re not too worried about Team Three. Their leaders are... distracted.
One of them is a young JC and the other is Jungkook’s new love interest. You don’t envy her. Every girl at this camp, campers and counselors, want a shot at Jungkook, but she’s the one who caught his eye. She did have an unfair advantage though, they were childhood friends or something like that.
“Ready, set, go!” The LCT yells and then blows her shiny whistle. The kids are off, scrambling every which way, trying not to get tagged. You are watching your campers closely, but they are getting tagged left and right.
“AVERY!” You shout at the top of your lungs. “Nikki is on your team, you don’t have to freeze! And Nikki, don’t tag your teammates! Ugh!” You should rather loudly. You shake your head and continue watching your team. You notice Hoseok talking to the LCT and she jots down something on her obnoxiously decorated clipboard.
She looks up from her notes and over at you, giving you a little nod. She walks away, clipboard in hand and you have a feeling she’ll be observing your activities a little more closely. Hoseok turns his attention back to the game.
His team is doing well, only a few of them seem to be frozen and the rest are still zooming around the field. Your team, however, is not following your advice. They’re too worried about being tagged to find teammates to unfreeze.
“Jessica, can you please go unfreeze some of your teammates?” You say as Jessica runs by your post. She stops and turns back to you.
“What did you say?” She asks.
“I said go unfreeze your teammates! Wait, look out!” Just as you’re explaining yourself, a Team Three camper comes up behind Jessica and freezes her. You let out a sigh. “That’s alright Jessica.”
“It’s just a game! Hopefully someone will come by and freeze you!” Mack jogs up to where you and Jessica are standing. “It’s just a game.” He says again, directly to you this time. He’s annoyed.
“I know you’re right, I just want to win.” You sigh.
“Well we have already lost. All of our campers are frozen.” Mack replies.
“WHAT!” You screech. Mack puts a firm hand on your shoulder as a reminder of his earlier words. You try to take a deep breath and you search the field to find Hoseok. He’s looking back at you, a smug grin on his face.
~~~~~~~
Flag Football
The rules of traditional American football have always gone over your head. The flag version of the game is a little more simple, but you still opt to let Hoseok explain the game to both teams. You’re listening intently to his explanation, and he’s doing an annoyingly good job of putting it in terms that the kids (and you) can understand.
Once his explanation is completed, all four team leaders help the campers put on their flag belts. They could probably do it themselves, but everyone wants to make sure that the belts are as secure as possible.
“Huddle up!” Mack calls to your team and everyone forms a circle around him as he doles out assignments for offensive players and defensive players. He was very insistent on doing this part himself. Perhaps it’s because he’s a football buff, but it seems more likely that he wants to evenly spread the assignments and doesn’t trust you to do it.
Mack has been taking more of a leadership role on the team because he thinks you are compromising the team due to your own selfish desire to win. It’s hard to admit, but you know he’s right to some degree.
The teams are lined up across the field from each other, Team One starting with the ball. Your team’s defensive line up is good. Yeonjun blows his whistle and the game begins. Bodies are running all around the field, every which way.
The kids are just aiming to grab flags, they aren’t being strategic at all. They are snapping flags left and right and before Team One can get their ball very far, more than half the field has been de-flagged.
“Wow, their lack of strategy is actually working for them this time.” You laugh.
“Yeah, it’s amazing what happens when you let kids be kids.” Mack chides.
You sulk away from him and walk down to the other end of the field to get some distance. From here, you’ve got a great view of Hoseok. Always wearing his bucket hat.
Suddenly, the whistle blows loudly and Hoseok sprints to the middle of the field where you notice that one of his kids is down. He’s clutching his knee and holding back tears. Hoseok runs to the child and takes a look at the injury.
It can’t be more than a scratch, but Hoseok scoops the camper up in his arms and walks him off the field. He comes to the Team Two side, simply because it’s the fastest way to get off the field.
“Do you want me to take you to the nurse to get a band aid or an ice pack?” He asks as he sets down the camper.
“No, I think I’m okay. Can I just sit out for now?” The camper replies.
“Of course you can, I’ll sit over here with you until it’s time to get ready for dinner.” Hoseok pats the camper’s back.  
Mack walks over to see how things are going and chats with Hoseok for a moment. He gives you a look.
“Are you taking notes?” He asks you loudly, in front of Hoseok and everyone. If you could give him the middle finger, you would.
~~~~~~~
The Obstacle Course
The heat between Team One and Team Two has hit an all time high. Earlier this week, your team scored bonus points by staying in the Mess Hall after dinner to scrub the tables after a particularly messy spaghetti night. But after hearing about this, Hoseok decided his team would take some of their free time to tidy up and organize the equipment storage room. This earned Team One even more points.
You’re determined to take him down at today’s obstacle course. It’s already been set up by Seokjin when the teams arrive. The LCT is here to observe the event.
There are different obstacle courses almost every week. This week, it’s your turn to demonstrate the steps for the kids. Crab walk here, hula hoop, hop on one leg, weave, run, skip, and sprint back to the start.
Once the demonstration has been completed, and you are thoroughly sweaty, Hoseok announces that he will flip a coin to see who gets to start off on the practice round.
“Heads, Team One, tails, Team Two!” You yell over at Hoseok and the LCT who are searching for a coin. She has one in her pocket and she flips the coin. Come on tails!
“Going first is... Team Two!” The LCT says, and you cheer. You always like having the edge and going first, even if it is just a practice round for now.
“Alright, Team Two, in a line!” You shout, leading the campers to the starting point. You decide to go through it again, showing them how it’s done one more time. Leading by example, pointing on the tricky parts as you go.
Hoseok is watching you closely. He’s learning too. When it’s his team’s turn to do a practice run of the course, he stands to the side and let’s them run it themselves. He points out the hard parts and cheers them on as they go. It’s frustrating how natural he is at these things.
Hoseok’s team lines back up, going first for the timed speed round. You feel nervous, you know they got through faster than your team, some of them are tired out now, so it will come down to can your campers pull this off and win?
“Alright, Team One, let’s go!” Hoseok cheers and his kids cheer back, letting him know they’re ready. “LCT - you’ve got the stopwatch!” He looks over at the LCT who is either doodling or jotting down notes on her colorful clipboard.
“Oh!” She says, grabbing her phone in her pocket. “Is this Grease? Do I wave a flag?”
“Just count down and say go.” You respond, rolling your eyes at her reference.
“On your mark, get set, go!” She yells.
Hoseok’s team gets off to a good start, but they have a few fumbles. Someone trips and another is painfully bad at hula hooping. It takes everything in you not to do a happy dance when one of Team One’s campers stops in the middle of his turn to slowly tie his shoe back up.
When it’s time again for your team’s turn, they all line up at the front. You and Mack cheer for them to get them hyped up, and now all you can do is hope for the best.
So far, not bad. They are all doing their best and that is surprisingly good. By your own mental clock, they are not far behind Hoseok. After Nikki finishes, Matthew will be up next, and of course you’re a little nervous. He’s notoriously clumsy, but he’s done fairly well this summer. Jessica is behind him and she will likely make up for any time he loses.
Matthew starts off strong with the crab walk, but anything that takes place on two feet slows him down a bit. The backwards running, though, is what takes him down. He trips and lands on his back on the grass.
“Get up!” You shout, trying your very best to sound encouraging. Get up! Keep going, come on! Just a step further! You can do it Matthew, come on!” By the time you finish your encouragement, it’s turned to full blown yelling. But Matthew is refusing to get up and he’s started crying.
You turn away for a moment, rubbing your eyes in frustration. At Matthew and at yourself.
“You can’t yell at a kid!” Hoseok snaps at you as he runs over to Matthew to comfort him. All of your team has huddle around him on the ground by the time you walk over.
“I didn’t! I thought he could have still gotten up!” You reply defensively.
“You yelled at him!” Hoseok reiterates.
“You yelled too!”
“I did not!” Hoseok replies, defending himself against your claim.
“You did! You’re the reason why we’re -”
“Leaders!” The LCT shouts from her post about ten feet away. You’re in trouble now.
“Yeah?” You ask, already tucking your tail between your legs.
“What’s up?” Hoseok asks.
“During your breaks, I will see you both in my office. Do not go to your cabins, do not hop to the Mess Hall for snack, do not stop and talk to anyone unless they are Seokjin or Namjoon, do you understand?” She is breathing fire. Scolding you in front of your campers. It’s embarrassing, but you can’t say you don’t deserve it.
Hoseok agrees and you can barely get a word out, so you just nod and mutter an agreement. The LCT instructs you to get back to the campers. Mack has already started walking Matthew to the infirmary.
Your campers look concerned, so you offer them a heartfelt apology. Hoseok suggests that everyone lines up together, both teams, and does one last run through the obstacle course for fun. You agree.
~~~~~~~
The Meeting
You know you deserve to be here at this meeting. Standing outside the office, you have a hard time taking any further steps. You don’t know what fate awaits you behind that door and you are not looking forward to finding out. Especially with Hoseok sitting next to you.
“Hey.” You jump. It’s Hoseok. “We should go in.” He says.
You take a deep breath and turn to look at him. Your competitor, your enemy, and previously your lover. His eyes are soft. He doesn’t look angry, just tired. He reaches past you and opens the door to the LCT’s office and let’s you step in first.
“Sit.” She says before you even have a moment to take in your surroundings. You’ve never been in this office before. You and Hoseok both slide into the chairs in front of the desk. She pauses for a moment and you look around the room. It’s just an office with supplies and paperwork. The only thing in the office that has any personality is the clipboards hanging on the wall behind her. A collection of decorated and personalized clipboards. How nerdy.
“Let’s talk about what hap -” The LCT starts.
“I just want to say that - that I didn’t mean to yell at him, and that I’m -” You cut her off, wanting to get ahead of the scolding. You know you’re in the wrong here.
“Do you plan on interrupting me this entire time?” She snaps at you, and you sit back in your chair, a little caught off guard.
“I’m sorry, I just, I made a mistake and I’m sorry.” You try again.
“Sorry for interrupting me or sorry for your behavior on the field?” She interrogates you.
“Both?” You reply, a little dumbfounded by her attitude. “I was just -”
“I don’t care what you were ‘just.’” She stops you again. You know you deserve punishment, but who pissed in her fruit salad? “What I witnessed today on the field was completely unacceptable. There is no situation, no occasion at Camp Blue Side where how you two interacted and treated your campers is acceptable. You are so lucky I was the one who witnessed it, instead of Seokjin or Namjoon.”
Hoseok is fidgeting next to you, but you’re paralyzed. You’ve never been spoken to like this from someone you considered a peer. And she’s wrong, if Seokjin had seen it, he would’ve been on your side.
“You are also so unbelievably lucky that your camper isn’t too scarred from your blatant disregard for his wellbeing. You must’ve been graced by the gods today, that all he suffered was a bump on his head and a scratched arm, because if it had been worse, a concussion, a broken bone, a skull fracture, there could’ve been legal ramifications.” She pauses and sighs before continuing. “I cannot believe that either of you have worked yourselves up to such a high level of competition and competitiveness that this was the result.”
“I didn’t mean to yell.” You whimper.
“We’re sorry it got out of hand.” Hoseok sighs.
“I feel awful.” You add.
“We were too into it.” Hoseok sighs, shaking his head.
“I don’t care what you were. That’s the inherent problem with you two, and I knew, I knew this was a possibility of having you on opposing teams, but I hoped it wouldn’t happen. I hoped you would be mature enough to handle this.”
“Hoped?” Hoseok questions.
“Yes, because clearly not only was I wrong, but Seokjin and Namjoon too. I don’t know what’s going on between the two of you, if it’s just tension, or some sexual repression, but what happened on that field is not Camp Blue Side.” Her words send a chill down your spine and a blush across your cheeks. How could she say that in front of him?
“You both have been here long enough to know what’s acceptable Camp behavior and what isn’t. I never thought I’d have to have this conversation with you, but this summer is full of nasty surprises. Do better, both of you. Now, get out.”
You and Hoseok waste no time in exiting that office and shutting the door behind you. All you want to do is run back to your cabin and bury your face in the pillow. But you know you owe Hoseok an apology.
“I’m sorry.”
“You better fucking be sorry.” Hoseok replies, bitterness coating his tongue. “And that will never happen again.” He adds before walking away.
It’s a slap in the face on top of a punch to the gut. You are guilty, there is no denying that, but you aren’t the only one. How dare he act like he didn’t start this whole thing. He ghosted you. All he had to do was say “Hey, sorry, I'm actually not interested.” But he didn’t even have the balls to do that.
You have to tone down the competitiveness, but this is certainly not over.
~~~~~~~
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skullrock · 4 years
Text
the campers, chapter six
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chapter five - the lost (and the found)
series summary: Steve gets a job as a camp counselor at Camp Know Where, intending on using the summer to discover himself. When things start to go wrong at camp, the only people that can help him are the Party, Hopper, and his mortal enemy - you. [Enemies to lovers, angst, fluff, hurt/comfort]
chapter summary: Investigations into the disappearance of a camper ensue, while you and Steve confront your feelings. 
warnings: swearin’ and some loving caressing
word count: 4.8k 
a/n: you can catch up on the series here! romance and evil is in the air bbs
===
You wipe your tears away swiftly, instantly sobered at the reveal. “What?”
“Some kid,” Jen says. “He’s just… gone.”
You hop out of bed, anxiously tugging your shoes on. As you head outside, you notice all of the counselors booking it to the usual conference room. Steve’s made it there before you, a worried Mia gripping onto him. Your heart twists and you force your eyes away, towards the front, where Josh and a few other counselors are chatting hurriedly. Eventually, Josh claps once, the room going painfully silent.
“Today around five, a camper was reported missing by his friends. Brent Albright. He’s twelve, about four foot eight, skinny little thing. He was last seen playing in the woods about a hundred yards from campus.”
Steve stiffens. He knows Brent - and he knows the resemblance to Will Byers is uncanny. His mind wanders to when Will went missing, his stomach flipping.
“We have a search party going out as soon as the local law enforcement gets here. Some of you need to stay behind to keep watch of the other kids. We’re upping the security on site - we’ll have two people patrolling all night, each night. At least until we find Brent.”
The teams separate, you and Mia heading with the search party while Steve books it for Dustin’s cabin, scared of what he might find.
===
Luckily, by the time Steve gets to Dustin’s room, the rest of the Party is there, Suzie included. Steve halts at this, shutting the door slowly. His eyes dart between Suzie and Dustin pointedly.
“Relax, she knows,” Dustin says, very nonchalantly, everyone else seemingly on board with this.
Steve lets out a noise of frustration, surprise, and anger. “You told her?”
“When it was safe to!” Dustin defends.
Steve rests his hands on his hips, sighing in frustration and anger again. “Well, great. That’s really just great.”
Dustin’s face contorts in anger. “Uh -”
“Look,” Steve interjects, turning to Suzie. “You’re great - lovely gal, really - but I don’t -”
“What’s the problem?” Lucas pipes up.
Steve turns to him quickly. “Oh, of course you’re defending him, since you let Max in on the little secret, too -”
“Hey!” Max shouts, brows furrowed in anger.
“Don’t get so upset, you know you’re my favorite -”
“Hey,” El says.
“Alright - you too -” And Steve stops when he sees Will’s face, ghostly pale and frightened.
Steve and Mike are beside him first, Mike wrapping an arm around his shoulders while Steve kneels in front of him. “Hey, are you okay?”
He nods uncertainly. His hand slowly reaches for the back of his neck, and he shakes his head. “I don’t… feel him.”
“The Mind Flayer?” Mike clarifies.
“Yeah. I can’t feel him.”
The tension in the air evaporates slightly at this. Everyone had the same thought - what if it was the Upside Down again? It seemed to follow them everywhere, year after year. It wouldn’t be much of a shock if it had infiltrated their lives at camp.
“See? I told you it was nothing,” Lucas says. “It’s just some kid that got lost. I’m sure they’ll find him.”
Will winces slightly at the words and Steve frowns. “It’s not just some kid, Lucas. There’s… bears and shit out there. He’s lost and alone.”
Everyone goes quiet, staring down at the ground - well, everyone except Suzie, who’s still not completely sure if everyone is bullshitting her or not.
“Can you feel anything, El?” Mike asks.
She furrows her brows as if concentrating. “I can’t tell… I feel like something’s there, but I don’t know what.”
Steve stiffens, but the others seem unphased.
“That could mean anything,” Dustin says.
“Don’t you think it’s a bit too convenient for this to be happening here?” Steve asks, annoyed.
“It really could be anything, though,” Max says slowly. “I mean, he really could have gotten lost in the woods. They can be tricky.”
Mike stares at her as if she’s an idiot, but Steve nods gently in response. “They’re not as bad as the ones at home, but they can be disorienting….”
“I don’t think we should worry unless something’s definitely wrong,” Lucas says. “Like, without a doubt, weird shit happening.”
Steve feels nauseous. “I just took a hike in the woods… something wasn’t right there.”
“What do you mean?” Will asks anxiously.
“It got so quiet,” Steve explains. “There wasn’t a sound. And a deer got so close to us… something just didn’t seem right.”
Everyone goes quiet again, contemplating.
“Well, it could have been a bear,” Suzie says, her high pitched voice piercing the silence. “I mean, animals get quiet to avoid predators, and there are definitely predators in the woods here.”
Steve gives a half-hearted shrug, and his eyes wander back to Will. He seems tense, his jaw locked, and Steve’s eyes meet his. At the look of fear and worry in his eyes, Steve stands, deciding to be the voice of reason. There’s no need to worry the kids when things may just be unfortunate, but not hellish.
“You know, you’re right,” he says, running a hand through his long hair. “It’s probably nothing. Brent really may have just gotten lost. Until we know, let’s assume it’s an accident, okay?”
Everyone nods reluctantly, shoulders falling and breaths exhaled. Will’s eyes soften, but he still looks unsure. Steve gives him a reassuring smile and squeezes his shoulder. Will tries to return the smile, but it’s weak - Steve’s heart hurts. As the kids begin to disperse and talk among themselves, Steve pulls Will to the side.
“Hey,” he says quietly. “I’m not letting anything hurt you, or anyone else.”
Will freezes slightly. “I - I know.”
Steve always had a hard time talking to Will, genuinely not knowing what to do or say or how to act around him. He’s been through so much that Steve views him like an ancient artifact, too fragile to touch and too experienced to match.
“Your friends have your back, too,” he adds, albeit awkwardly. “Just - don’t feel unsafe. We’ll all protect you.”
Will nods, relaxing slightly, and he does something he hasn’t done with Steve before - he holds out his hand to shake. Steve takes it, confused but intrigued. They simply shake hands, Will giving him a warm smile, and then he walks off to the rest of the party. Steve’s brows quirk but he smiles, feeling accomplished - and then his heart plummets again as the reality of the situation sets in.
He wishes he could spend the night with the Party, truthfully. He’s a bit jealous that Will and Mike have each other in a room. Steve has Nico, but he’s pretty sure Nico was wigged out when Steve woke him up with a shout the night he had a nightmare. Steve’s face burns in embarrassment just at the memory. Hopefully the search party would be out for a while; Steve always felt safer when others were awake, able to protect him as he let his guard down. And then his mind wanders to Mia, hoping she’s doing okay, and then to you.
Steve feels a bit lightheaded when he thinks of you. The time at the waterfall felt like days ago, but it was only a few hours. He feels guilt for not checking on you sooner, for not catching you before you went to scour the woods. And he remembers your reaction to his in the woods, how scared and anxious you seemed. The guilt pumps thickly through his veins and he sets a reminder to check on you in the morning - you were sure to have a long night.
Steve leaves the room as the Party continues to talk. He’s unable to even decipher the words they’re saying - he just wants to be in his little cot, curled up and safe under blankets. Dustin once again catches him as he’s leaving, though, grabbing Steve and forcing him to stop.
“What’s your problem?”
Steve opens his mouth to ask Dustin to elaborate, but remembers what he said about Suzie’s knowledge of the situation. His gaze hardens. “You shouldn’t be telling people about this. That’s putting your life in danger, and hers, too.”
“So I’m just supposed to act like nothing ever happened? I’m supposed to never tell her?”
Steve sighs. “That’s not what I’m saying -”
“That’s what it sounds like -”
Steve’s anger flares. “I’m saying that maybe you shouldn’t be giving life altering information to a girl you’ve been dating for what? Six months?”
“We’ve been dating for over a year, Steve!”
“You could get her and her family killed over this, Dustin -”
“Just because you won’t open up to people that love you doesn’t mean that I can’t!”
Steve stills, his anger deflating and replaced with sorrow. “What’s that supposed to mean?” he asks, but he knows exactly what it means, and he doesn’t like being called out on it.
“You’ve avoided new friends this entire time because you refuse to have any type of meaningful conversations with anyone except those you share trauma with.” Dustin’s eyes are narrowed onto Steve, even though Steve attempts to look away. “Have you even told Mia?”
“Of course not,” Steve spits, anger coming back. “I’ve only been seeing her for like, a week -”
“Then what about Y/N?”
Steve scoffs, but he panics. “No.”
“Did you want to?”
“You don’t understand,” Steve stresses, forcing a change in subject. “You read what we had to sign. We aren’t supposed to tell people about this. Anyone! Not our parents or our partners -”
“I know what we signed!” Dustin interjects. “But there’s nothing wrong with telling someone you trust about this. And there’s definitely nothing wrong with opening up to people in general.”
“I’m not like you, Dustin.”
Dustin squints. “No shit.”
“So hop off my shit, okay?”
“Whatever,” Dustin huffs. “Just - go be alone, up on… up in your little King Steve palace -”
“Yeah? Fine, I will!”
“Fine!”
“Fine!”
Steve turns on his heel and sulks off into the dark, anxiety creeping in as the light from the cabin dims and is replaced with the steel curtain of night.
===
The search party finds nothing the first week.
It’s a gruesome task, sifting through the woods, finding no leads. Park Rangers and local law enforcement came in to set up an investigation. Rumors spread amongst the campers and counselors in regards to closing, but there were only two weeks left, and it was only one kid. Instead, a curfew was established, and counselors took turns patrolling the grounds in pairs at night.
It was, to say the least, a very stressful time. Your neck and back hurt from bending over in the woods for hours on end the first week, desperately trying to find any signs of the kid. You felt sick the entire week, hardly able to teach your classes, and hardly able to keep the kids’ attention. You noticed the stress was working hard on other’s, too - Steve and Mia had hardly talked, and you’d only briefly caught up with Steve. He had been spending most of the week patrolling the camp. He couldn’t sleep much even if he tried.
Friday, six days after the incident, things seemed to settle down. The camp had pretty much come to the conclusion that it was a freak accident, that the kid probably was attacked by a bear in the vicinity. Some kid’s parents had them leave early, and some came to hotels and motels nearby to be closer to their kids. One of these people was Jim Hopper, who volunteered to team up with local law enforcement to teach everyone about wilderness safety.
Steve knew why Hopper was really here, though - to keep an eye on Will and El. He’d promised Joyce he had it under control; he just wanted to take some precautions. Steve wasn’t sure if Hopper’s presence in the area was comforting or horrifying, but he figured it was the former. At least he didn’t have to be the only adult here. And the kids felt safer with him too, at least.
Friday night, a counselor proposed a bonfire to help everyone relax and unwind. You decided to go, if for nothing more than to just talk - it had been a lonely and tense week. You also, of course, hoped Steve would be there. You hardly caught a glimpse of him all week, only once out on the lake in his kayak.
When you do see him, you almost wish you hadn’t.
Steve hadn’t slept in at least four days. The last night he slept - Sunday, he thinks - had been filled with Demogorgons and gore and hopelessness. Calling Robin on the payphone only did so much (and he couldn’t reveal much over the phone), and while he and Dustin had reconciled, Steve didn’t want to overwhelm the kids with his worry. He wanted to be strong and brave for them, but he could hardly be that for himself. So he strolls up to the bonfire, looking ragged and ghastly, almost like a ghost. His frame is thin and he’s pale, his under eyes purple and puffy.
“Jesus Christ,” you breathe, walking up to him. “You look like Dracula.”
“He’s sexy, right?” he jokes, a weak smile on his face.
You blush and roll your eyes, still frowning with worry. “Have you slept?”
He shakes his head gently. “Haven’t really got the chance.”
Your brows quirk. “Haven’t got the chance, or haven’t let yourself?”
Steve’s impressed with how easily you see through his bullshit. He shrugs. “Maybe both.”
You guide him to sit with you on a long log by the fire. You have to force yourself to not hold him, but it’s very difficult. You were so worried about him, about his zombie-like appearance. But you didn’t want to pass any boundaries - you weren’t totally sure if he was still with Mia or not.
Almost like he read your mind, Steve speaks up. “Mia is patrolling tonight.”
“Oh.” It’s all you can say. You want to ask if he’s seen her, if they’re still a thing, if you have a chance, but you instead focus on the fire.
The night goes on, and you talk with some of the other counselors. Conversation is light but weary, and the alcohol two boys had snuck in was gone within the first thirty minutes. You turn to ask Steve if he wants a drink, but you’re met with his head resting on your shoulder. You didn’t even notice that he’d clocked out, and your brows furrow while your stomach fills with butterflies.
You contemplate whether or not you should wake him up - he obviously needed the rest. You let him stay there, continuing to mingle, but staying perfectly still so that he didn’t wake up.
Steve’s eyes finally open around midnight, as the fire is taming down. He sits up and looks around, dazed and confused, before realizing that you’re beside him. He blinks in surprise. “Did I fall asleep?”
“Yeah,” you say. “I didn’t want to wake you up, so I….”
He stretches, his shirt riding up his stomach, revealing a sliver of skin. You pull your eyes back to the burning embers.
“You must be like a sleeping pill or something,” he says, voice slurring from sleep. “Really knocked me out.”
Your lips quirk up. “Maybe I’m just boring.”
Steve knows it’s not because you’re boring; it’s because he’s comfortable with you. The moment he sat down beside you, he felt safe and protected. It allowed him to let his guard down just long enough to slip into a dreamless sleep, and that’s really all he could ever ask for.
He doesn’t vocalize this, though. He doesn’t know how to. “No, not boring. Just warm.”
It makes no sense and perfect sense at the same time. You blush and look down, wishing he was still leaning on you. Steve scoots away from you and you frown, the absence feeling like you’ve lost something.
“Hey,” you whisper. “Want me to walk you back to your cabin?”
He nods slowly, sleep clouding his vision. You stand and he grabs your hand, using it to help him get up. You laugh slightly and start walking him towards his cabin, staying close beside him. Something about him made you feel safe - whether it was your crush on him or just Steve, you weren’t sure.
“This sucks,” he says, breaking the silence.
“Yeah.”
“I mean, it all sucks,” he clarifies, “but I mean that it sucks that I know I can’t sleep tonight, and they won’t let me do rounds anymore.”
“That’s because you need sleep,” you say gently. “You have to rest.”
“But I can’t.” His tone almost sounds like he’s amused. Steve looks off into the distance, at the treeline, sinister in the night. “God, trauma sucks.”
You don’t know what to say to make it better, so you snake your hand down to his, lacing your fingers again. Steve hums and relaxes, his shoulders dropping and his pace slowing. It’s almost an enjoyable walk, just the two of you in silence, nothing else but the wind and the lake lapping the shore behind you.
You slow as you reach his cabin, and Steve becomes stiff once again. His brows furrow with worry, and you notice.
“You’re safe,” you whisper.
He shakes his head, frowning. “I know….”
Steve turns to face you then, and you both stand like this, facing each other, faces illuminated by the moonlight. You think he looks so pretty, so beautiful, even with the bags under his eyes. You wish he’d kiss you, embrace you and tell you that you mean something to him.
And Steve, in his sleep deprived state, also begins to realize just how pretty you are, too. It’s something he’s always known, even when he was a jerk. Something fond to think about, at least one beautiful thing from his youth. His brows twitch as he looks down at you, at your soft eyes, the care and adoration held within them.
Steve’s realization doesn’t hit him quite the same as yours did. It’s almost like a slow rush, like finishing a puzzle. Dots begin to connect, memories come back, and he realizes that, holy shit, he likes you. He likes you a lot. He’s liked you for years. The good things he’s remembered - they were because of his affection for you. That’s why he remembers your laugh and your pigtails and your blue beaded bracelet. That’s why he forced away the icky, dirty things.
Because he liked you. And he always has.
While he’s processing this, you’ve formed a bit of a plan. You’re nervous to ask, but you do anyway. “What if you spent the night with me?”
Steve’s long streak of thoughts comes to a halt, crashing, his mind left blank. His brows knit together. “What?”
You blush and step back, almost like you’re stepping back behind a boundary. “I just - you slept so well earlier - maybe if we were together… we’d sleep better?”
Steve blinks. “Oh.”
“Forget -”
“No, let’s do it,” he whispers, rushedly. “I… I think that’s a good idea.”
Steve sees the adoration and care in your eyes, but he can’t imagine it has any weight to it. You never let on that you liked him. So this situation is almost a win-win for him; he can pretend for one night that the universe is in place and not out to get him, and he can get some rest.
“Are you sure?” you ask, barely audible.
He nods. “I’d really like some sleep.”
“Jen’s patrolling tonight,” you whisper. “I can - we can - sneak you in.”
Steve smiles lazily. “I’ve always said I’m like a ninja.”
===
Sharing a bed with your crush is not as phenomenal as the movies make it out to be.
Steve’s pressed himself up against the wall, as far away from you as the twin bed would allow him to be. You lay on your back, eyes wide. It’s an awkward situation, and you nearly regret suggesting it. You lay like this for twenty minutes, then forty, and then it’s two a.m, and you can still hear Steve’s rapid breathing beside you.
“Steve,” you whisper.
“Hmm?”
You blink up at the ceiling while cursing yourself. Your hands ball into fists beside you and you finally croak, “You can come closer.”
You hear his breath hitch. “I… I’ll smother you.”
You roll your eyes. “C’mon, Steve.”
It’s a minute before he rolls over, facing you, his body touching yours. You both feel like a jolt of electricity has been shot through you, and you wince before melting into each other.
You will yourself to stay on your back. Even while you can feel Steve’s warm brown eyes on your temple. You can feel his warm torso on your arm, too, the skin of his forearm close to the side of your head. Temptation wins, though, and you roll over to face him.
Your breath catches, like you’ve been hit by something massive. Steve looks so peaceful here. You take the time to notice some things you hadn’t before, since you’d never been this close. The stray hairs under his brows, how long his lashes are. How pink his lips are, how straight his nose is. You notice a scar on his right brow and reach out to touch it gently with your fingertips. “What’s this?”
“Scar,” he whispers.
“What happened?”
Steve swallows hard and shakes his head. “You should see the rest of them.”
You frown and drop your hand, but Steve gently picks it back up, placing it on his cheek. He looks at you softly, asking for permission, and you cup his cheek. Your thumb rubs across his cheekbone and his eyes flutter shut. Your heartbeat is through the roof, and it only gets worse when Steve reaches out to pull you in to him. You blush, both from attraction and embarrassment, because he can surely feel your heart beating rapidly against his chest.
“Where else?” you ask, voice shaking.
His brow quirks. “Hm?”
“Where else are there scars?”
He pauses, contemplating, but remembers but Dustin had told him. There’s nothing wrong with opening up to people. So he lifts his right hand, where it had punched Billy Hargrove years earlier, a cut on his knuckle turning into a silver stripe. You pull your fingers away from his cheek and to the scar, touching it gently. You want to kiss it - God, you want to kiss it so much - but you pull your lips into a thin line instead.
Steve drops his hand and it goes for his shirt, his fingertips rubbing gently over his ribs. “Here.”
You wonder what the hell had happened to him. You don’t ask; instead, you move your hand slowly to the hem of his shirt. You look at him and he nods, giving you permission to run the pads of your fingers to the area. His eyes flutter shut again and he focuses in on the feeling of your fingers, caressing him gently, almost lovingly. It feels nice to let someone touch him like this. Not sexual, not even romantic - just with care.
You lick your lips and feel his skin, soft and warm, a little uneven in the area where he’d been brutalized the year before. Steve opens his eyes to watch your face before his eyes trail down to your arm, pushed up under his shirt. His heart speeds up and you can feel it, hard and fast under your fingertips. You pull away at that, blushing once more, your heart rate beating in time with his.
Steve’s tongue darts out and he studies your expression. You look peaceful. Maybe a bit confused, but peaceful. In place. His hand reaches up to his lip slowly, another place that he’d been hit before. His finger lays lightly on a small scar that spreads from the corner of his bottom lip and down. He stares at you the entire time, almost painfully, like he has something he wants to say. You only reach out and replace his finger, rubbing the small mark gently.
You want to ask him what you’re both doing. It’s a weird dance, almost. It’s laced in something beyond friendship and sealed with a bow, but what it is, you’re not sure. Your hand moves away from his face and you finally look down. Your eyes stay focused on his grey shirt, at the pattern of the fabric.
“I have a hell of a concussion, too,” Steve whispers.
You look back up at him and smile. “Maybe that’s why you’ve forgotten so much.”
He frowns slightly. “Maybe.” He pauses for a beat. “Do you have any?”
“Scars?”
He nods.
You reach for his hand and pull it down towards your knee, to the scar you’d shown him at the waterfall. His fingertips press into it gently, and there’s a pained look on his face. “I wish I could take it away.”
You frown. “You can’t.”
“Wish I could.”
You wish so, too. But his fingers rubbing soothingly on it almost takes it away; if not physically, than emotionally.
Steve’s hand wanders up your thigh and to your hip, gripping it just slightly. He almost looks like he’s pouting at you, and you’re not sure what it means. You just know you like the touch. You know you want to kiss him, and you know you can’t. It feels like you’re drowning, or intoxicated at the feeling of his hand on you, soft and strong, just as it always felt in yours.
“Hey,” you say. “You should get some sleep.”
His hand falls from your body and onto the sheets. He nods and his brows furrow for just a millisecond. “I… can you….” He clears his throat. “Can you stay close to me?”
You think it’s funny that he can’t say hold me, but you relent. You wrap your arms around him and he melts into you once again, feeling safe. It’s only a few moments later when you both fall asleep.
===
Steve sneaks out before the sun rises, leaving the bed beside you empty and cold. You’re sober this morning. You’re pretty sure you should not have shared a bed with him, or touched him - is that considered cheating? Are you an asshole? You reckon you’ll find out.
You officially get up a few hours later, pulling on your uniform lazily. Your stomach flips at the thought of Steve, and then flips again when you open your door to find Mia.
You know immediately that she knows. She must have seen him leaving when she was patrolling.
“Mia….” It’s all you can manage to croak out.
She laughs, warm and gentle. “I’m not mad.”
You blink. You lick your lips and shake your head, massively confused. “Are we thinking of the same thing?”
She comes into your room and you shut the door slowly, still quite confused. She sits on the bed and looks up at you. She looks wise and all-knowing. “I knew you had a thing for him.”
“I didn’t,” you protest.
She tilts her head. “C’mon. Remember when I saw you staring at him on the lake?”
You sigh and cross your arms. “I didn’t think I did.”
“We all knew,” Mia says matter-of-factly. “Everyone except you.”
You scoff. “Who’s everyone?”
“Em, Syl, Jen, Brooke, Syd, Kara… even Josh knew. Why do you think he set you up at the beginning?”
“What?” you ask, shocked. “I wasn’t - I never - I never liked him at the beginning -”
“Maybe not,” Mia smiles. “I guess he really just saw the potential.”
You roll your eyes and Mia beckons you to sit down beside her. She wraps an arm around you and leans into you. “I just wanted to see him for fun, you know. See if he was a good kisser. It wasn’t anything serious.”
“So you’re not mad?”
She sighs. “I’ll miss that boy’s lips and hands, but I’m not mad. We would have called it quits when camp was over. It was just a fling.”
You both sit in silence for a few moments before she speaks again. “You should really go for it.”
Your heart jumps to your throat. “I don’t think….”
“He likes you, too,” she says. “I’m pretty sure of it.”
You look at her with a frown. “I couldn’t do that to you.”
She smiles. “I’m just happy I was right. You do like him.”
You can’t help but to smile back. “Were there bets going?”
“Oh, yeah,” she says. “Brooke owes me ten dollars because she thought you’d never actually admit it. But I knew you would.”
You hug her then, relief flowing through you. Then you pull away and shove her. “I can’t believe you placed bets -”
The door swings open and Jen is there again, panting once more, eyes filled with fear. You and Mia jump up.
“Did you find him?” you breathe.
Jen shakes her head. “No. Another camper is missing.”
===
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cloveroctobers · 3 years
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ANNA-JULIA “AJ” (JONES) JARLETT
IG bio/info: @/annajj9x_ | 20.1k followers| Athlete | hey peeps can you stop asking me to throw it back cuz the answer will always be no! K thx take it easy 🏳️‍🌈🌻🏒🐶
21 years old
From bath, England
Hockey player as her profession for the past three years
Her position is defense
Their team name is “rowdy alphas”...yeah some team names just didn’t make sense or they’re cringe for no reason at all
Was raised by her mom,(her mom was a teen mom & had her at 17) maternal grandmother, and her paternal aunt (dad’s younger sister, who’s more like a big sister to her at 28)
They’ve made her into the person she is, literally
Her grandmother has a bed and breakfast that they all live in
the house is Victorian style—almost as if they walked right out of charmed! Instead of a big pink house, think yellow AND purple. It was hideous but homey and charming on the inside
growing up in a house with multiple temporary strangers wasn’t odd to aj at all, in fact it felt like the norm. There was always someone around to socialize with so that was quite nice
Her father was a pro baseball player & passed away due to a automobile accident
she has his smile & freckles
aj was also involved in the accident at the age of 6 & miraculously survived with intense injuries
Has scars as a reminder
used to have night terrors because of the accident...it took awhile—years!!! for them to subside
they’re all vague memories now (but the pain is something she’ll always remember) but she preferred it that way
she’s named “Anna” after her mother’s old best friend/roommate and was supposed to be aj’s god mother but she went missing during their uni years
the name“Julia” came from her paternal grandmother who she gets her wide doe eyes from
her athleticism definitely came from her dad
Her mother luckily liked to document things so there’s a bunch of home videos of her dad in them & pictures/scrapbooks that her mom has for safe keeping
She’s more of a klutz, tiny, and wears huge prescription glasses
extremely close to the three most important ladies in her life, so she’s always been able to be open with them about anything!
when she first expressed her interest in liking both genders around 17-18 her paternal aunt was all smirks, “i knew Britney Spears was so your type, yeah?”
more like shakira but Brit was just as pretty
her mother was a “cry baby” so ofc she burst out into tears squeezing aj’s limbs and peppering her face with kisses. She didn’t view her child as anything different... as she shouldn’t & was glad that her daughter trusted them with this significant moment in her life and wanted to be as supportive as she could
got books, watched Ted talks and everything but knew she could come to the source even tho aj was still figuring it out herself
her grandma dipped her head at the new info sitting at the round kitchen table, “been there. had a few broads in my life after and during my marriage with your no good grandad. Thank goodness the bastard died before you even got to meet ‘em.” “Mum!”
what felt like the biggest weight on her chest was lifted. She knew they’d understand but a part of her had a little bit of doubt, she’s heard so many horror stories where those like her didn’t have the support she has and that made her extremely sad to think about
i see her as a person that has/had many friends in secondary. She’s always open to chat and her being on a few sports teams helped her out in her case
very competitive in anything that she does & will guarantee that she’ll beat you. (“ You wanna race to the car from here?”wins. “Who ever cleans the most dishes the fastest gets the last slice of pie.”) majority of the time she’s right but if she loses?? oh don’t let her lose to you, it’s a pity party for the rest of the time ur in her space. Such a sore loser omg
stays active, always working out + has a gym membership and makes sure she goes at least five times a week
she’s very strong, loves leg day & working on her core
she’s about 5’10
loves wearing “gf jeans” since they’re super comfy but doesn’t mind skinny Jeans with rips in the knees every now and then
trainers and chucks are her go-to sneakers
has no issue shopping in the men’s section ‘cause who’s gonna stop her? Nobody that’s who
owner of over a 100 graphic tees + vertical stripped shirts are also her favs, SWEATPANTS/joggers?! How many does she have? A lot. Snapbacks? Plenty. Will she wear them backwards? Obviously.
Physical touch is her love language. She’s comes from a family that has no issue showing their affection by touch. There is NO such thing as personal space and that still stands with aj when it comes to relationships, she sees no other way
It’s what she shows and what she wants in return, if you’re not touching her in some sort of way, then automatically she thinks there’s something wrong or that she did something
Is the jealous type. It has shown in relationships and ruined a relationship or two
Has cheated on a significant other out of pure jealousy & is not proud to admit that
Does have a wandering eye but feels now that she truly understands herself when it comes to relationships, she’ll never act on it again
I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, I get libra tendencies from her so that’s what I’m sticking with. She likes to keep the peace (unless she’s jealous) , idealistic — always looking on the bright side of things, outgoing, romantic, and professional— especially when it comes to her team; her true leadership comes out, yet she can be indecisive, hates confrontation, self pitying — if things don’t go perfectly how she imagined/planned it to, the world is ending and everyone is out to get her, and can be unreliable—never on time
September libra to be exact
if she’s really in love/taken a interest in you then she gets nervous: blushing, sweaty palms, cracking her knuckles, tongue tied—the whole 9
she’s already defined as a puppy by her coach but when she’s in love? She’s a lovesick puppy!
her fav holiday is Valentine’s Day
thought she was going to be a pro skateboarder growing up but it took one bad fall where she thought she was paralyzed for her to choose something else
she likes her weed on occasion
Obsessed with all types of cheese except cottage, “can I put cheese on this?”
more of a jumpsuit kinda girl or dressy top with jeans & hoops on a night out
has a solid group of mates outside of the hockey team, they’ve all met and hung out a couple of times, as they should since aj feels they’re going to be stuck with her for awhile so why not?
They’re a riot when they all go out, let’s just say that there’s never a dull moment
fav color is periwinkle
enjoys ASMR, mostly in the mornings when she’s waking up. You know how people love podcasts? (Sorry seb & Nicky, she still wants to be on the show soon!) ASMR is her thing
loves tangerines, you can count on it that she’ll have one on her, “where did you pull that from?” “I’ll never share my master plan.” “You’re such a tit.”
Definitely prefers “fresh squeezed” orange juice & will make her own, she has the tools & the strength 😏
Very rare for her to get sick ;) & if she does she’s a complete baby about it
Will fight that she’s sick before she admits it, trying all sorts of horrid remedies & vitamins
loves summer & all things that come with it, the number one thing is leaving bath for however long she can for a new place to enjoy
when she arrived to love island, she was thrilled for the weather. Yes she was looking for love but most importantly a nice get away & that it was (depending on your route that is lol)
closest with seb, vieve, elladine, and tai but don’t tell the others that! (She doesn’t care if you tell Yasmin, honestly)
just because her & seb “dated” and it didn’t work out doesn’t mean they can’t be friends right? It was almost automatic for them to be platonic after it was determined there would be no romance between them, almost like sibs! like those celebs like to say—except this time these two won’t turn around and actually find romance
vieve came with seb so...but no shade aj did like vieve. She gave great advice (while seb sometimes didn’t say the right things unintentionally or what aj needed to hear) when needed, especially from a medical view and is very sweet
elladine was the one who had all the tea & ideas to match, she’s quite organized and always down for DIY’s and could suggest almost anything. If you needed someone to help you get things tidy or match/find your Aesthetic, she’s the friend you call to help
tai was the one she could be a “bro” with, sure elladine has her competive side (or controlling, depends on how you view it) but tai was the one you can run to for much needed “bro hugs”, partying, going to the pubs, playing sports with or against, checking out/flirting with babes, etc...
it was not long after the villa that aj had a revelation with her sexuality & fully owned and labeled herself as a lesbian
She was happy being in relationship with someone else or with herself, life was short and she was young so there wasn’t time to dwell and stress over things so what the hell?! Live your truth the best way you know how ya know?
probably smells like sweet citrus, almond flower, and sea salt
on chest days, she’s a sweets snacker. Loves gummy bears (also with vodka) , swedish fish, sour patch kids, etc...basically shit that sticks to ur teeth
put all her chips into hockey, while it was advised by her Counselors & mum not to do so, aj went about it anyway. She thought about the pros and cons but knew there was nothing else for her. So there were more pros than cons. She was meant to play sports, its what felt right in her soul
Made her feel connected to her father, when she’s on the field she feels that he is with her
 scrunches up her nose when she’s frustrated or confused about something
Doesn’t always grasp concepts right away, she’s a soft dummy but most of us are and that’s okay! We’re all smart in our own ways
Feels like sunflowers are always around her especially if she sees them wherever she is. They must symbolize SOMETHING, therefore she loves them
spf queen. All about it, get with it or let the sunrays ruin ur skin that’s on u
loves a good filet mignon medium-well & is probably the only good thing she knows how to make alongside a salad, baked potatoes, & her oj
sucker for romantic-comedies...it’s basically her life duh!
If she has a dog, it’s a Dalmatian or Great Dane. She needs a companion that’ll keep up with her
loves kissing, it’s her favorite form of intimacy
Quarantine life included the push up challenge for her. Gaining a few pounds in muscle and fat, bothering seb via ft, viewing old letters she wrote to her dad, spending time with her fav ladies since they were now restricted from having guests in their home, and letting boredom consume her + she hated the whole lockdown that came with it, she hated being indoors for long periods of time but she knew that’s what partly needed to be done
Posts a lot of beach, park, outings with her friends & team, moments with her fav ladies, workout videos, and guests at the b&b with their permission and if only she befriends them along the way. She’s just as active on the socials as she is in rl but she’s not obsessed with it, she knows how to live in the now. She’s all about balance!
I also feel like she never keeps her phone charged and it’s always dying on her! She had a car charger but...that’s a jungle. She needs to invest in a portable charger stat
crushing on/finds attractive: Jared Padalecki, Keanu Reeves, Barrett Doss, Camilla Luddington, Sandra Bullock, Adrian Kempe, Harry Kirton, Anya Taylor-Joy, Haley Lu Richardson, Naomi Osaka, Ming & Aoki Lee Simmons
who does she listen to? Shakira lol!! Bea Miller, Dua Lipa, Daya, XYLØ, Elley Duhé, Stela Cole, Aloe Blacc, Maroon 5, Lewis capaldi, Charlie Puth, girl in red, Hayley kiyoko, king princess, dodie, & tessa violet
Anthem: Icona Pop — we got the world
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Lost and Found (Eight)
Slight TW for mentions of 40′s era h*mophobia and Tony’s thanks-to-Howard internalized h*mophobia but it’s over quick. 
MASTERLIST HERE
*************
“I think there’s an issue with connectivity.” Tony chewed on the end of a pen as he watched James go through a series of repetitive motions with the prosthetic arm. “Which makes no sense at all, because obviously I did everything correct. Are you sure you’re doing that right?” 
“Touchin’ the tips of my fingers together?” James raised his eyebrows and tried to touch the ring finger of the metal limb together with the thumb, gritting his teeth in frustration when the joints hitched and froze. “Yeah Tony, pretty sure I remember how to move my hand.” 
“Okay fine, maybe I screwed up somewhere.” Tony huffed out a breath, blowing messy hair off his forehead. “Hold your breath, this will probably feel weird.” 
The twist and pop of the arm disconnecting certainly did feel weird, the tug and strain at the plates in James’s chest when his shoulder weighed heavy for just a moment and then lightened in the next alien and uncomfortable. He flinched more from the awkward noise than from any actual pain though, grimaced away from a flash of nightmare that felt like being strapped down and hurt, and when Tony paused to ask, “Alright?” he simply nodded. 
Sure. He was fine. 
“This will only take a few minutes, hang tight.” Tony carried the arm back to another table and James reached up to feel gingerly along his shoulder, tracing the scars from the hard stump over to his collarbone. 
Seeing himself reflected in the large mirror tilted above the chair was… well it was worse than James thought it would be. Tony had suggested that seeing what was happening might make the process a little easier but all James could see was damage, ruined skin and twisted muscles and a deathly pale pallor the sun never seemed to touch. 
It was awful. He was awful and the situation was made all the worse for the way Tony was distant today, this morning, last night and every night since James had blundered into the not-kiss at the Expo. 
The surprisingly easy laughter from just last week was gone, the quick smiles and nearly shared thoughts non existent. Tony wasn’t being cold, but he was stiff. He wasn’t avoiding spending time together, but movie nights happened with either man sat on the opposite side of the couch now, and attaching the new prosthetic arm was the closest Tony had been to James in days. 
Everything was awful and James didn’t know how to fix it, didn’t know if Tony wanted to try and fix it, or if there was even something to try and fix--
--James was right back to not knowing anything at all except his name. 
My name is James and he wanted to know so much more than that.
Awful. 
“You asked if I watch the news.” he tried to break the silence when he just couldn’t take it anymore. “The other day, I mean. A few days ago. Before the Expo. You asked if I ever saw you on the news?” 
“Yeah.” Tony looked up only briefly and went back to fine tuning the input of the arm.  
“Sometimes the uh-- the counselor that came to the shelter would sit and watch with me.” James cleared his throat, discouraged by the lack of response.  “I couldn’t ever watch the news, it about killed me to see some of that stuff but Sam said most of our memories are locked into references and not-- not concrete ideas. So maybe TV would help bring some of them around.” 
“Sam Wilson.” Tony stated. “Pep’s mentioned him a few times, says he does good work. Did watching TV help with your memories.” 
“No.” James dug his fingers into his thigh to combat the flush of failure at the back of his neck. “No it never did. Only confused me. Would watch game shows or documentaries and it wouldn’t be right. The name of countries, you know? I would see a map or something and think I knew it, then my answer would be wrong.” 
Tony cocked his head, the first real sign of interest he’d shown all day. “Huh. Can you give me an example?” 
“Well there’s--” James hesitated, searching his memory for one that had stood out with Sam. “--There’s a whole lotta places where the Soviet Union used to be. Names I don’t know and cities that used to be called something else.” 
“Soviet Union.” Tony readjusted one more thing on the arm, then turned to face James fully. “What did Sam say about that? Anything?” 
“He told me it could be something as easy as me havin’ watched a history movie or reading a book before my accident and those are the names that stuck with me afterwards.” James’s heart picked up when Tony smiled a little. Was it possible to miss a smile after a few days? “That never sounded right to me, though.” 
“The Soviet Union collapsed in December of 1991.” Tony folded his arms and leaned back against the table. “I remember that entire month vividly. If you know for certain you remember it being the U.S.S.R, then you were at least high school age studying geography before it fell. Interesting.” 
James wasn’t following Tony’s thought process at all but he was so happy the beautiful genius was talking to him again, he didn’t even care. “Why is that interesting?” 
“Based on that fact alone, I’d suggest you were pushing thirty which means we could narrow down search parameters and maybe get a better lead on who you are.” Tony explained, his smile growing just a little bit more. “There’s other ways to figure it out too, but nothing easy or very concrete.” 
James made a ‘go on’ motion and Tony scratched through his goatee as he thought it out. 
“Well, I could run some tests if you’d like, but seeing as how we’re only barely managing getting the arm on in a La-Z-boy recliner cos the other chair upset you, I bet you don’t want me poking and prodding with needles and electrodes. Totally fine by the way.” he waved off James’s objection. “I don’t like it either. It’s fine. No tests, we don’t need to do that.” 
“The easiest way to find you in the system is fingerprints.” he continued. “But I ran your fingerprints the first time you came through the lab as a precaution-- don’t look like that, I do it to everyone-- and yours aren’t in the system, or at least not anything recognizable. Not a big deal, fingerprinting tech is still fairly new, it wasn’t an electronic database till the 1980’s and AFIS wasn’t halfway usable till about 2000. There’s a thousand reasons why you wouldn’t be in there, even with your military service.” 
“Fingerprints.” James looked down at his hand curiously. “What else?”
“We could always do DNA testing, but I wouldn’t do it without your permission. I know some people that track you down quick but DNA testing always seems a little… invasive.” Tony tapped at the reactor casing a few times. “I’m not a fan of anything invasive. And you know, finding results would hinge solely on the idea that your DNA is already registered somewhere and if your fingerprints don’t come up…” 
He let the sentence trail and shrugged. “If you really want a definitive answer of who you are beyond a guess at your age based on when the Soviet fell, I’m happy to try. There isn’t a whole lot I can’t find out once I start getting nosy, but I figured if you wanted to know, you’d ask.” 
Tony waited a beat, “Do you want to know?” 
No. 
I don’t know. 
What sort of man dreams the things I do? 
“I’m okay with just James for now.” is what James said instead of everything else burning on his tongue. “Maybe the memories will come back on their own.” 
Tony nodded absentmindedly and turned back to the prosthesis, so James took his slightly raw feelings and tried to distract himself by picking up a nearby photo book. All the what-if’s of who he had been were colliding with all the what if’s from the Expo and circling round in his mind, round and round until he actually felt a little nauseous, so he cleared his throat and forced the thoughts away and flipped idly through the photos. 
The pictures were at least twenty years old, snap shot after snap shot of a young Tony draped all over a younger James Rhodes, laughing hysterically at a joke between them, clearly wearing each other’s clothes and other costume pieces, a picture of Tony dead asleep on thick text books while Rhodey drew various genitalia on his face in marker. 
Some of the photos were dated and placed at MIT, others were at what looked like the Colonel’s home, his family scattered in the background of their antics. Only one was a formal picture, Tony and Rhodey in fit suits standing solemn at the top of the stairs but in the very next frame the boys were wrestling and pulling at each others hair and then in a third picture mid-tumble down the stairs while a woman who looked remarkably like Tony threw her hands up in clear exasperation. 
It was years of friendship, years of happiness and pranks and love and James found himself smiling as young Tony’s hair got higher and fluffier style changes, the clothes got more and more ridiculous, even the cap and gown graduation picture complete with fake mustaches and crossed eyes for the portrait. 
There were pictures of vacation-- Tony in hilariously printed swim trunks, a floaty around his waist and over sized goggles on his face, Tony tripping over the flippers and face planting into the pool, Tony looking slightly drowned rat-ish as he struggled back onto dry land--
“Wow.” James didn’t mean to say anything out loud but the next picture of Colonel Rhodes didn’t match the silly theme of the book at all. It was an artistic shot, all pretty angles and purposeful shadows, a whole lot of skin and muscles on display and while it wasn’t obvious if Rhodey was actually sleeping or just posing, it was clearly obvious that whoever took the picture had had only one thought in mind. 
Sexy. 
“Didn’t realize the Colonel was so good lookin’.” He hadn’t meant to say that out loud either and after the Expo, James should have made a better effort to not blurt things out in front of Tony, but it was too late now, the words were out there and Tony was staring at him in surprise. 
“What’d you say?” 
“The-- the Colonel.” James put the book down and swallowed, looking away from it and from Tony. “He’s damn good looking. You and he ah-- you’re real close?” 
“Rhodey is my best friend, and yes he’s a total hottie.” Tony carried the re-adjusted arm back to James and set it aside to pick up the book too, flipping through the pictures and chuckling when he got to the shirtless one. “Oh man, he hates this picture. I tried for days to convince him to submit a photo to some ‘hotties of spring break’ calendar and he refused, so I got him blasted on tequila and then took the shot while he was passed out snoring.” 
“That--” James hesitated. “That seems creepy, Tony.” 
“Yeah, in retrospect, one of the creepiest things ever but eh, what’s a little creep-on between besties?” Tony’s laugh was fond and maybe even a little melancholy as he set the book down again. “I labeled the picture as ‘Honeybear in the Near Nude’ and I really thought he was gonna kill me. Really did. Actually feared for my life the rest of that semester.” 
“...That was the last spring break we had together before graduation.” Tony added after a minute. “Maybe the best week of my life.” 
“Did he win--” Bucky stopped when an alarm chimed somewhere in the lab, and the first few lines of Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy started playing. “-- I know this song. What is this?” 
“The Andrews Sisters.” Tony snapped his fingers and the music turned up a few notches. “How do you know it?” 
“How do you know it?” James returned, his mind spinning with lyrics he knew and a beat he knew and holy shit he’d definitely danced to this before, suddenly James knew he loved dancing. 
“It was my Auntie Peggy’s favorite song.” Tony took one of those nasty smoothies from Dum-E. “She taught me to dance to this kind of music and I set it as my alarm because it’s such an unusual sound these days that I couldn’t ever ignore it.” 
“I know this song.” James said again, and it was incredible to know something beyond how much pressure it took to snap a man’s collarbone and whether or not the walls were thick enough to stop a bullet. “I love this song.” 
“I don’t know if I love it-- hold still, please.” Tony set the prosthesis up to James’s shoulder and notched it in with a few clicks. “--but it makes me think of Peggy, which makes me happy and means that I’m not as cranky when I have to drink this green stuff. How does the arm feel?” 
“Bout the same as last time.” James mouthed along with a few of the lines as the song played in the background. “Should I do the same sorta stuff to check it out?” 
“Yeah, touch your thumb to each finger and flex your wrist as you do.” Tony instructed around a mouthful of smoothie. “If we can get past that part this time around we’ll move on to something else.” 
“Sure.” James went through each motion as Tony directed, touching his finger tips together and rotating his wrist, unable to help a smile as the left hand responded perfectly to his every thought. “Feel great, Tony. This is amazing.” 
“Yeah yeah, I know.” Tony’s dark eyes were glowing with excitement, and James’s concentration faltered when Tony leaned in even closer and ran his hand up the metal limb. “All the things I’ve built, and bionic man never made it to my list. I can’t believe what I was missing out on.”
Tony tried to close his hand around the bicep of the left arm and scrunched his nose in delight when his fingers didn’t come anywhere even remotely close to touching. “Alright, you can’t actually pop the knuckles on this hand but make the motion anyway, holding each finger down with your thumb like you’re trying to crack the joint. It’s a weird gesture and not one that everyone can do but it will test the dexterity of the prosthesis as well as prove how well it connects to your mind.” 
James hummed along to the music as he followed the easy instruction, laughing in quiet disbelief when the new arm did everything he wanted. 
I have two hands again. 
I’m whole again. 
I’m me again.
“All that looks good, so what we’re going to do now is--” 
“Dance with me.” James interrupted and Tony stopped, mouth open. “C’mon there’s all sortsa things we can do to test this thing out but dancing would take care of most of them, right?” he glanced up at the speakers and then back down at Tony. “I love this song, Tony. Dance with me.” 
“You want to dance with me?” Tony’s throat bobbed as he swallowed, expression shuttering just like it had at the Expo. “James, I don’t think--” 
“I’ll go easy on you.” James tried for coaxing, for teasing, for anything besides fear of another rejection. He might not know a whole lot of anything these days but he knew this song and he knew he really really wanted another chance at whatever had almost happened at the Expo, and damn it Tony’s smile was so pretty he almost couldn’t stand it. 
He felt like him all the sudden, two hands and an easy smile and even though the sight of metal gleaming along his left side triggered warning bells somewhere deep in his subconscious, James ignored them for the sake of holding out his hand and curling his fingers hopefully. “Dance with me Tony.” 
Spend time with me when I feel human. 
“Promise not to step on your toes?” he offered almost desperately now-- please please see me as me, I’m so close to me right now-- but his heart sank when Tony stuttered, “Uh James listen. About-- about the Expo and when we almost--I mean, that’s something we should talk about, right? Before you suggest anything like dancing?” 
“Never mind.” This time it was James pulled away, who cleared his throat and blanked his expression and let his words get clipped and a little frosty, unease and insecurity warring with a little bit of self loathing for being so fucking dumb to try and fail again. “Forget I asked.” 
“No wait--” 
“Tony, I don’t really want to hear all the reasons why you didn’t want to kiss me.” James could almost feel himself fading away, disappearing back behind the gates in his mind as the warning bells about the metal arm started to get loud again. “Or all the ways I was misreading everything I thought I saw. Guess I’m more outta practice with this than I thought I was and I don’t want you saying yes cos you feel bad for me or anything, just leave it be.” 
Silence, and James cleared his throat, tried not to let the misery and feeling of failure seep too far into his voice. “What else do I need to do to test this thing out?” 
“No, don’t change the subject, we should talk about this.” Tony scrubbed his hand over his mouth and closed his eyes. “Fuck me, I’m bad at this but I’ve been working on talking things out and trying to say what I mean instead of being sarcastic all the time so here we go. James, about what happened at the Expo--” 
“Tony don’t.” 
“--Do you think Rhodey is hot or not?” Tony burst out and James’s mouth fell open. “Do you?” 
“...He’s a good lookin’ fella, sure.” 
“Okay.” Tony nodded a few times. “Okay, because I think he’s hot too but it’s taken me twenty five years to be able to say that out loud. You know what I mean?” 
“I--” James hesitated. “No. Sorry. I don’t know what you mean.”  
“It means I’ve been pretending for twenty five years that I don’t notice anything remotely attractive about Rhodey and this is the first time in my life I’m not lying about it.” Tony’s eyes were wide, a streak of red painted high on his cheeks. “My Dad was flat out against anything like that and I don’t know if my Ma knew or not, but it’s been twenty five years and I’m just now comfortable saying it.” 
“...okay?” 
“And then you went and almost kissed me at the Expo and it all sort of--” Tony made a crazy motion with his hands. “-- I didn’t handle it very well and I’m sorry, but it wasn’t you, it was me and my Dad’s voice right here--” a finger to his temple. “--saying a whole lot of things. You get it?” 
James wet his lips and clenched his fists and Tony kept staring, kept hoping James understood even a little bit. 
“Twenty five years.” he repeated, chewing at the inside of his cheek and pressing his palm to the reactor to ease the anxious balling up inside. “And it sucks that I made it to over forty before I managed to stop listening to all that crap about who I am and who I’m supposed to be attracted to, but it is what it is. I promise you’re not reading anything wrong on my end, but I’ve never been brave enough to do this before so I gotta know-- am I reading it all wrong on your end?” 
And after a quiet, shaky breath, “Do you hear all that shit in your head saying this is wrong too, or is it just me that’s a ball of goddamn conflicted?” 
“Goddamn conflicted.” James repeated, and his mind went back who knows how many years ago to all the things he used to hear when he tried to hide, when he went to church in secret and tried to confess, when he gave in a few times and quit pretending to be just like the other fellas. 
C’mon now, you know better than to think like that. We like dames, don’t we? Stop starin’. 
The Good Book wholly condemns those who engage in perversion, James. Ask for forgiveness and move on from such sin. 
Look, what we do here at night is one thing, but don’t go talkin’ bout it in the day time, I’m not a queer, you just got a pretty mouth. 
Stay away from that side of town, don’t you know that’s where the fags go?
Tony was asking for understanding and for another chance, for forgiveness because of his reaction and offering an explanation that sounded an awful lot like what James heard in his head every time he thought about how beautiful Tony was.
“I’m so bad at this.” 
James must have been quiet too long, because Tony muttered a curse and sat back in his own chair. “Shit. I am so damn bad at this. You know what, maybe we should call it a day and try again tomorrow, I’m clearly not up to dancing or working or putting together sentences or making any fucking sense so--” 
“Tony.” James made up his mind and held out his hand again, eyes hopeful and voice as soft as he could make it. “I love this song. Dance with me?” 
“Okay.” Tony’s fingers shook just a little as he placed them in James’s palm. “I love this song too.” 
*****************
*****************
Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy wasn’t a slow song by any means, and Tony was several years past his last dance lesson with Peggy, but after a few mis steps and playful arguments about who exactly was going to lead, James finally flexed his left arm and lifted Tony right off the ground to announce, “If you can lift me up, you’re welcome to lead, Tony.” and Tony laughed in surprise and kept right on laughing as JARVIS started the song over and James took him out between the desks for a dance. 
“You’re doing it wrong.” James chuckled and dragged Tony forward into the right steps, left hand secure at Tony’s hip and right hand clasped around Tony’s fingers lightly. “Come on, it’s swing not a waltz. Loosen up for me.” 
“You don’t remember your own last name but somehow you remember how to swing dance?” Tony was out of breath already, but game to try and keep up step for step, easing his body towards pliant so James could lead them through the familiar patterns. “How’d you get so good at this anyway?” 
“I know this song.” James repeated, concentrating on the give of Tony’s waist soft beneath the hard fingers and not on the headache coming along with thoughts of dancing and maybe even watching the Andrews sisters up on stage as they sang the song which-- that didn’t make sense because the song was seventy something years old at this point wasn’t it? No way he saw them perform. 
“I just know it.” he decided, and then teasing, “Or maybe I’m just a better dancer than you.” 
“I could ballroom dance your socks off.” Tony announced, and barked a startled laugh when James spun him out into a quick twirl. “I didn’t take six years of lessons with Madame Laurent for nothing. Swing dancing just isn’t exactly my forte.” 
“Well next time I give you a lesson, make sure you’re wearin’ a twirly skirt so I can get ya above my head and take a peek, huh?” James grinned, and there his voice went slipping soft and flirty and so damn Brooklyn Tony stumbled and nearly fell when his heart jolted in his chest. 
Twenty five years it took to even admit out loud that Rhodey was a damn hottie and now Tony was faced with a soldier right out of his musical-themed day dreams who could dance and smile and talked like all his favorite characters from movies he’d watched enough times to ruin the tapes. 
Twenty five years to admit something as dumb as his best friend being attractive and now James was laughing with him and teasing and the mis-step at the Expo seemed ages ago, almost impossible with the way the soldier’s pale eyes were lit up right now and the way James’s fingers held just a little tighter at Tony’s waist and pulled him in close through a turn and ohhhh their bodies brushed together and Tony closed his eyes when a bolt of heat went straight to his core. 
Was he so touch starved and miserably horny that a silly dance to his Auntie’s ancient music was going to get him hard? 
Another turn and another touch and James’s hand slipped lower along Tony’s waist and he nearly passed out. 
Yep. Yep he really was that touch starved and miserably horny. 
Except not really miserable. Tony was having the most fun in the world dodging lab tables and chairs as James got more confident with his steps and JARVIS kept the song playing around them. A few banged ankles and stepped on toes were worth feeling the heat pouring off James’s chest, the steel like security of the left arm contrasted with the drugging warmth of the right hand when James cupped the back of Tony’s head to hold him steady through a quick turn and two step. 
The music went on, the dance got easier, and then their legs tangled almost to the point of catastrophe and James caught Tony laughing as they crashed together--
--and Tony bit his tongue to quiet a moan when he felt James’s body reacting against his own. 
“J-James?” 
“Tony.” This time James knew he wasn’t reading anything wrong, this time he wasn’t going to second guess himself and this time Tony was definitely leaning in and standing on his toes--
“Shit!” James jerked away at the last second, jerked away and recoiled when everything seized along his left side and lit up painful, sparks popping behind his eyes. “Ow! Tony help!” 
“Damn it, come here and sit down so I can get it off.” Moment temporarily stalled, Tony slid right back into inventor mode and pushed James down onto the closest chair so he could get to work disconnecting the new arm. “I don’t know what’s going on with this thing, I really thought I could just connect it to your shoulder but I might have to go a little deeper into your chest to fix it, maybe even do something with adjustable plates since this piece doesn’t really move, then everything could re calibrate individually as needed….” 
Tony trailed off into mumbling as James lay back and tried to breathe through the pain shooting across his chest. Everything on his left side felt like it was on fire, like it used to those first few months after waking up beneath that bridge, phantom weight dragging his shoulder down and the feeling of needles in his skin. 
It hurt and he growled a rough curse when Tony pushed at his shoulder experimentally. 
“Sorry.” Tony said immediately. “Sorry about that. I can fix this, I definitely can. JARVIS run some simulations on using individual pieces instead of one solid on like the armor-- the arm. Not long lines like muscles but horizontal plates instead. A hundred small calculations to adjust as he moves, not three or four major ones.” 
“Yes sir.” 
“One two three, off.” Tony pulled the arm off and hurried it back to the fabrication station so JARVIS could take the appropriate scans and start working on the changes. “Okay, you still with me? James?” 
A bottle of water pressed into James’s hand, and Tony hesitated before resting his palms on James’s thighs. “Feeling okay?” 
“Feeling like shit for ruining our dance.” James grit out, honest because there was no reason to lie to Tony, no reason to hide his disappointment when he knew Tony had been having just as much as him. “Sorry about that.” 
“Rescheduled doesn’t mean ruined.” Tony said the words lightly but his heart was in his throat, waiting to see if James would acknowledge the clear invitation. “Right?” 
“Right.” The corner of James’s mouth crooked up into a smile. “Rescheduled.” 
A smile meant good things, the invitation to another dance meant lots of very good things so Tony gathered every bit of his courage, every bit of determination he had about completing his bucket list, all the hope he’d gotten every time James smiled at him or flirted a little and all the butterflies in his stomach from their dance and said softly, so softly,--
“James, I-- I’d like to take you to bed.” 
And James’s eyes opened wide and incredulous, “...what?!” 
****************
SAY SOMETHING ABOUT THE CHAPTER
****************
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Humans are Space Orcs, “One Flag and a Thousand Arms.”
Back with the major conclusion to the LFIL arc after months of not getting to it. Didn’t know I was going to write this today, but here we are. I hope you all like it, and sorry it is kind of long, but my typing was at light speed today (nice warm hands) :)
Anyway have a good day everyone!
“Please everyone, calm yourselves. The G A is addressing the issue as we speak.” 
The crowd roiled and churned like the bubbles in a pot of boiling water. Flags waved and voices rose high into the air.
The chanting increased in fervor.
“Please!” The rundi struggled to raise his voice high enough to be heard over the crowd, who only grew with strength and intensity.
Commander Vir keyed his mic, “Delta units to the GA side of the crowd, some of these protesters are looking extremely agitated. Let's make sure they don’t do anything we’re all going to regret.
HE stood with his back to the GA chambers, its wide arching courtyard devoid of life except for those unfortunate  Rundi ordered to carry messages from one side of the compound to the other, otherwise they tried to keep their distance from the front facade of the building and the churning mass of protesters.
White flags waved and fluttered.
Commander Vir held the energy shield with one arm pressing it back firmly against the crowd, so they could not pass the dedicated marking point. 
“Commander, the crowd here is getting violent.”  he grimaced and reached a hand down to open the line, “stun them and let them calm down, do NOT catch anyone else in the crossfire. We do not want this escalating.”
“Yes sir.”
Something pushed against his shield and he grunted pushing back. The white bandanna on his arm was pressed against the clear blue force field and helped to at least confuse the crowd before them. And luckily, they would be kept too confused to get violent.
The aliens among the human protesters helped as well. If this was on earth, things would have broken out into a riot by now, but the Drev the Tesraki and the Finnari tended to be more level headed when it came to these kinds of things, and they managed to rein in their humans from doing something stupid.
He closed his eyes tight for a second praying that the GA would rethink their position.
It hurt him to watch these people struggle like this. It just felt so strange that anyone should be here in the first place.
Beside him, Sunny had taken control of two young humans who were getting a bit more than rowdy, “Lets keep this a protest, and not a riot.” She growled giving them a look that would have made anyone quell in their boots. It sort of made him half smile, Sunny was such a badass, he wanted to be more like her when he grew up.
His thoughts were cut off  as the crowd churned a bit pressing into his shield.
Hey keyed his mic again prepared to go over the loudspeaker and tell them that if they didn’t calm down he was going to turn this protest into a mass nap time. He had the power to do that if things got out of hand, though he honestly didn’t want to. 
The GA needed to see this.
He was so preoccupied with the crowd that he barely noticed as the Rundi ran up from the inside of the compound flying forward on its long spindly legs.
It stopped by the first Rundi to say something, and the conversation that passed between them didn’t look particularly encouraging.
HIs heart sank into his stomach.
He felt…. Surprisingly disappointed, very sad for all those people who were going to get their day ruined.
The rundi waffled around at the front of the crowd for a bit before turning and looking over to where he stood.
Oh great.
The rundi walked over, and he backed off from the crowd allowing Sunny to take a step in his place with her shield at the ready. The people looked as if they were about to start something, but seeing her expression, they decided not to.
He dropped his shield and lowered his head to hear the rundi over the roaring of the crowd.
“The GA is not budging.” The rundi whispered, “They are asking the protesters to leave.”
Adam growled in frustration.
Behind him someone in the crowd pointed at him, “They’re  saying no aren’t they!” Others took up the call, and soon enough the rest of the crowd had been alerted. Adam was forced to run back to support sunny as everything suddenly grew more intense.
Fights were breaking out on the left and the right.
People were hitting the ground as the guards were forced to stun them.
That only agitated the rest of the crowd who also began to buck and fight.
Adam keyed the mic for real this time filling the intervening space with his booming voice, “ALL OF YOU KNOCK IT OFF RIGHT NOW OR I WILL STUN YOU ALL.” 
The aggression in the crowd died down, though the anger remained sizzling at the surface.
Overhead clouds passed over the sun, before him the crowd roared like a wave, and behind  him the GA council chambers were as silent as a ghost town.
“LISTEN, QUIET DOWN ALL OF YOU.” it sort of felt as if he was floating. The world around him hardly seemed real though that was not the best way to explain it.
The crowd died down a bit, “You may not understand this! And I have said it before, but these are not humans. Protests don’t work on them. When they see a group of angry humans they get scared and when they get scared, they double down even further. I know it does not make any sense to you NOT to protest for what you believe in, but if you are going to do this, you MUST remain civil. Even now the GA is frightened by you. They don’t believe you are rational, and they are not going to listen to you if this keeps up.”
The crowd had quieted down to a milling sort of confusion.
“Then what should we do!” the shouting came from somewhere and in anger, though he couldn’t pinpoint the source.
IN frustration he nudged Sunny, and she allowed him to climb on her back as he had before.
The crowd could see him now, and he could see them for the most part.
He waved them down trying to cut off the others who had taken up the chant.
“I understand what you are trying to do, and I support your efforts, but you are only hurting ourselves. The GA can only be won by rational discussion.”
“The GA won't see any of our representatives.” One of the crowd’s people snarled.
The call was echoed 
Adam stared at them in shock, “Are you serious.”
There was a muttering throughout the crowd.
“For fuck’s sake.” he muttered under his breath 
“The Rudi think none of us are high ranking enough to be allowed into the council chambers, and none of the representatives will take up our cause. The human ambassador thinks we are disgusting, so she won’t do anything.” 
The muttering through the crowd grew louder.
Adam looked around head turning to see all the angry faces, blushed with red, or streaked with tears.
These people were frustrated, and hurt, and he understood why.
This wasn’t right.
He closed his eyes again and took another deep breath. 
What was he thinking?”
He stepped down from Sunny’s back and walked over to one of the protestors in the front row pointing to his large flag on a pole that was about eight feet tall.
“May I borrow your flag?”
The protester stared on at him in confusion, “What, why?”
“Because, I am going to give you the representative you need.”
***
Commander Vir and Sunny walked alone down the length of the GA outer courtyard.
A billowing white flag streamed lazily  over his head suspended there by way of the pole which rested heavily on his shoulder. The white of the fabric had been marred now by many colors as hundreds of rushed signatures had been scrawled on its face.
He was armed with the backing of a thousand protesters, a hundred signatures, and more than a few dozen stories.
Sunny turned her head to look at him, and he fancied that maybe he saw an expression of pride in her eyes, though she didn’t say much except, “Pretty brave.”
He didn’t feel very brave, and as they walked through the front doors of the GA atrium his hand was shaking against the cold metal of the flagpole.
He was stopped by a pair of rundi guards on his way into the chamber, but was let in after they recognized who he was.
He could hear voices up ahead, and the sounds of the protest going on outside had all but died away, “They have proven that they cannot be civil, and based on the humanizing effect, we can assume they will do similar things to any non human lifeform that they encounter.”
“I may not agree with their decision  counselor, but that sounds like your prejudice against humans is seeping through.”
There was an uproar in the council chamber.
He paused for a moment with Sunny just out of line of sight and took a deep breath.
She lay a hand on his shoulder.
“Here goes nothing.” he muttered before stepping his way out onto the GA floor.
At first no one noticed his presence as he made his slow way into the center of the circle, but his large, white flag soon changed that. The council chambers went silent.
The chairwoman stood, “Commander, what are you doing here. Shouldn’t you be taking care of the protesters.”
His lips drew into a thing line, “I am.”
He rammed the flagpole against the stone sending a loud cracking sound out and around the wide atrium silencing the council, “I have been made aware that you refuse to see their representatives based on a ranking issue, well I assume my rank is high enough.”
The Human rep leaned forward, “Commander, this is not your place.”
He shot her a look, ”Then whose place is it counselor.” 
He turned his head in a wide arc at the watching crowd, “Counsel, you have known me, longer than you have known any human currently in this galaxy. You understand that I know your rules and your customs. You understand that I have only ever striven to protect and uphold the GA and the planet’s it encompass. I have thwarted wars, signed treaties, and broken my own body for your best interests.” There was silence about the room.
“Will you let me speak now, with the understanding that my loyalty has never wavered from you, and never will.”
The silence continued.
Aliens understood the power of human loyalty. Or at least they should.
The chairwoman took a seat, “Very well, commander.”
He lifted his head feeling his heart slow as he took a few deep breaths. There was a muscle in his face that had begun to twitch, like it always did if he was extremely angry or nervous , but he held it down, “I understand you are frightened, and I understand that you are confused, but I want you to know first of all that those people outside are good average people. They don’t mean you any harm. They are hurting, and they are afraid for themselves, and they are trying to get your attention. Historically, humanity has used protests to right the injustices of government to combat prejudices brought on by one’s sex or the color of their skin. You must understand that they see this as an impingement on their happiness and a decision made out of line.”
There was a murmur around the room .
“So I ask you now, that I may, perhaps, answer your questions and ease your worries. Why are you so against them?”
“It’s unnatural.” 
It was the Bran representative that had spoken, and he did it quite emphatically.
“Why?” The commander asked
“Because they aren't even the same species.”
“So?” 
The bran seemed caught off guard, “They…. It's not natural. They can’t reproduce, so it isn’t…. A thing that should be done.”
The commander shrugged, “So if one can’t reproduce then they aren't natural? I see a couple issues in that logic relating to prejudices against people with infertility.”
There was a murmur around the room.
“So they can’t reproduce, so what. You know who we can reproduce with though….. Adaptids.”
There was a sort of hushed exclamation form around the room.
The commander shrugged, “They can’t have kids…. Hardly a good enough argument to bring to the floor of a government discussion.”
“What he is trying to say is that this practice equates itself to bestiality.” It was the human representative this time, and she stared at him with her eyes narrowed in anger. He kept his cool though he very much did not like her.
“That is absolutely disgusting and wildly insulting of you because that implies that one or both parties are no better than animals, beasts as you will.” The room was silent, “So which one is it, are humans animals, counselor, are the Finnari animals.” He turned to the Drev counselor, “Are the Drev just dumb animals that have no understanding, and no decision making abilities.”
The Drev representative stood angrily cracking his spear against the stone, “We are most certainly not.”
The commander held up his hands, “Then what is so bestial about it? Bestiality is absolutely disgusting because you are taking advantages of a creature that can neither understand or protect itself form what you are doing. It cannot say yes, and it cannot say no. It has no greater understanding than that of a child, and so cannot make its own decisions.”
He looked towards the Finnari representative, “Tell me counselor, is your species a species of children, with no greater concept of their own decision making.”
“Of course not. Why would you even imply such a thing.”
“I imply nothing, counselor. This is what YOU imply with your decision. So far we have established that all parties are intelligent consenting creatures, and none of you have managed to give me an actually good reason for banning the practice.”
The floor was growing more agitated.
“They will be a poor example for the rest of the galaxy. If we make it legal others will surely follow.”
Adam turned his eyes on the speaker, an Iotin, “You’re worried that they are going to turn the rest of the galaxy extrial?” He laughed, “That is a poor argument which is not only selfish, but foolish. People should be allowed to make their own decisions. And assuming you are right, what then? Oh no…. There are a few more extrials….. And it does…. What exactly?” He turned in a wide circle, “If you are worried about population growth  or in this case population falloff due to this issue then you should be reminded that extrials comprise a percentage of the human population so small that I could fit the greater majority of them on my ship comfortably. This occurrence is not common, and even if the numbers were to rise, it would not be of enough significance to cause issues .”
His heart was hammering hard inside his chest. He felt like he was doing alright, but that might mean nothing.
“In any event, these relationships do not affect the vast majority of the galaxy. Humans cannot be with the bran or the Rundi due to the water we shed from our skin. The grimm and the Iotins are out for similar reasons. Vrul and Gibb are incapable of having feelings for humans in that way, and both the Tvek and the Celzex  are too different from humans for either party to be interested.”
He walked around in a circle allowing the flag to trail behind him, “Furthermore, the humanization phenomenon happens with or without romantic intent, and as it is, its mention is more a mark of prejudice on humans than it is an argument against the two groups being together.”
He left the floor open for a little while as the council muttered with each other.
Finally the Drev representative stood, “My species culture and our way of life has been upturned by the GA. I fear relationships with humans will result in the loss of our culture. We have already strayed far from what we originally were. We are hardly recognizable as Drev anymore.”
The commander let his voice soften, “I understand that the Drev have lost a lot in joining this….”
Sunny held up a hand, and in surprise he was cut off.
She took the floor, “Your Glory.” She said bowing her head, “If you upheld those ideals, you would not be sitting on this council.” The Drev pulled back in surprise at her words, “Yes, we lost a lot in joining the GA, and after the war, but I would argue that some of that was for good. Before the GA people like me, with perceived imperfection were cast into the fire and perceived as no better than animals. This practice still takes place on our planet, where these traditions are still alive and well.” 
Her words made the room shift nervously, “However, culture changes and adapts, and it must to survive. We changed in order to live among the GA. We found other alternatives to fighting that still maintain our honor and our prowess in war, and this includes the sports that the humans have brought to us. Furthermore, the vast majority of the Drev I see  who are with humans are those of us who would not be accepted by our own kind, perceived as ugly or malformed. If this is the case then your traditions remain sound, and those like me are removed from the mating population.”
The counselor almost looked ashamed at her words turning his head away so as not to look her in the eyes.
���As far as a change of culture goes it was bound to happen, and it seems you are more worried about change than you actually are about human drev relationships.”
She went quiet, and Adam nodded to her taking the floor again.
A finnair counselor stood, “I am simply worried about our birth rate. The Finnari were farmed by the Gnarlak for many years, and we are only now replenishing our population.”
“I don't think you need to worry. The amount of actual relationships is so small that it will not affect the Finnair population in any significant manner.” The representative sat back down with no real argument to combat him.
The chairwoman stood, “Your arguments have been heard commander, though, what the others do not mention is the issue of disease. We have seen a great increase of illness transmissible from humans to non humans and-”
“I hate to cut you off chairwoman, but that has a simple explanation, the rise in human tourism.” 
She paused, “Explain.”
“You all know very well that humans are not allowed to leave their planet unless they are tested for all communicable non-treatable diseases. This means that those of us that you see here cannot physically pass our diseases off onto other people except for the germs that are found naturally on our skin. In this case these issues did not stem from relationships at all but poor vaccination, the poor regulation of tourism, and allowing aliens to travel onto earth where infected humans are located and not testing them as they leave.”
He looked on at them pleadingly, “You see. You don’t even have problems with them, but you are using them as a real scapegoat for the actual issues. And I am here to tell you that, in fact you are causing more problems by banning this.  The more you push, the harder they will push back, and eventually someone is going to get hurt, because they are not allowed to be together legally they do it illegally, and because they do it illegally, they end up in dangerous places exposed to greater rates of crime. They get hurt, and they get involved in things they would otherwise not have gotten involved in if you had not banned it. Just look at Noctoplis. It has the highest rate of extrials living there and the lowest policing force and the most corrupted system. There are no legitimate jobs there, so we see an influx of crime by desperate people who won’t be accepted anywhere else. Not to mention that it increased the depression rates, which increases suicide rates. Your laws have ostracized them, forced them to become criminals, and turned many of them to think that killing themselves is better than living in a world where they are seen as disgusting when they don’t actually do any real harm.” 
He had to take a deep breath, “Earth has seen all of this before, and one way or another, eventually someone will see what I am trying to say.” He rested the flag on the floor beside him feet planted at shoulder width.
“I hope that this rational conversation will allow a more open mind on the council. I encourage you to talk to their representatives. They are more rational and educated than I am, and they can give you hard facts and statistics. But please, they don’t want to cause trouble, if you allow them to do as they will, you might find these problems going away for you.”
The human representative clearly did not seem convinced, but he didn’t expect to convince her, he expected to convince the others who were more afraid than they were prejudiced.
“It seems as if we have some other potential policies to discuss, Commander.” The chairwoman said tapping her fingers on the table before her.
“I have a suggestion, ma’am.”
“And that is?”
“A temporary revocation on the ban, that way you can SEE what the universe will be like without it, and you can judge for yourself whether The ban does any good. You don’t have to overturn the law just yet, but temporarily suspend it, that way you can re institute at any time. THan you will have concrete proof. You can do testing, and poles and whatever else, but you would know for sure.”
His suggestion turned into a discussion, that dragged on for many minutes before the chairwoman raised her hand, “It has been decided, all in favor of this temporary proposal please indicate.”
The voting lights flashed above them.
Commander Vir waited.
*** He walked from the venue hours after he had entered exhausted.
The flag felt heavy in his hands and his boots thudded with exhaustion on the white marble below him.
Outside, the protest field was surprisingly silent, though he could still see their flags.
As he walked closer he could see that the vast majority of the crowd was sitting down. Thei voices reached him from a distance at first until he realized they were singing with each other. 
Waiting for his verdict.
He was still a ways out when they spotted him.
A lone man and Drev walking form the building, the man wearing riot gear, a full helmet, a shield, and carrying their flag resting against his right shoulder.
The group of them began to stand rising to their feet and yelling.
Pointing in his direction.
They quieted as he got closer.
“What did they say! What did they say!”
He stayed quiet holding a hand in the air to silence them. He passed the flag to the original protester who looked on at him with such an expression of pleading that he felt his eyes tingle a bit with rising emotion.
He had to look away boosting himself onto sunny’s back keying his mic.
The crowd was silent.
“I spoke to the GA.”
They waited on tenterhooks , “And after a long debate, and a slim majority the GA have decided….”
Flags whipped in the wind, “To temporarily revoke the ban on inter-species relationships until a-”
He didn’t get to finish his sentence drown out by a powerful wave of noise and joy so overwhelming that he was nearly knocked backwards off his feet.
The crowd surged forward, and Sunny staggered as the group surrounded them pressing inward and upwards. 
Adam found himself on the ground on his feet packed in by bodies enclosed by hundreds of pairs of arms slapped on the shoulder and the arm, as every person tried their best to get one hand on him.
The flag from earlier was ripped off its stand and pressed into his hands.
He was deafened by cheering and an outpouring of gratitude so profound he had simply never experienced such emotion.
He looked up at Sunny pressed in with him by the enthusiastic crowd.
And she nodded her head in approval.
He grinned.
He had to admit.
This felt pretty good.
Though, weather it was all over was a question for another time.
471 notes · View notes
ellewritessometimes · 3 years
Text
It’s a Gift
Summary:  Cas and Dean have become very close. Dean develops a crush and is afraid to say anything. He continues to fall harder as the days go on. As the Valentine's Day party approaches, Dean wonders if he'll share the secret he's been harboring.
Ships: Dean/Cas, Crobby
Word Count:  3,552
TW: Mentions of violence and Homophobia, Swearing
Notes:  This is a work from an abandoned Valentine's Day group writing project. I decided to post it still because I worked hard on it and I wanted the original intended recipient to get their fic as planned. I want to thank Luc for allowing me to reach out to them and @kermit-drinking-tea-dot-jpg for betaing this fic.
Link to read on AO3
The smell of greasy tater tots and dry nuggets wafted through the cafeteria as I walked in and took my seat at the table. The rest of the team sat down as well.
"Does anyone have a date for Valentine's party tomorrow?" Garth asked.
"I'm sure Sam will be my date," Gabe smirked. The guy was kinda obsessed with my brother.
Garth rolled his eyes and continued to take a bite of his chicken patty. I turned the page of my notebook, trying to decode my notes from last week. 
"Shit," I mumbled under my breath.
"What?" Gabe asked with a mouth full of french fries.
"I can't read my notes, and the test is next period," I said in frustration. I had scrawled them down distractedly during the class.
"Would you like to borrow mine?" Cas asked. 
Of course, I would like to borrow Cas's notes. He was a great student, always crazy organized.
Cas slid a spiral-bound notebook with perfect notes written in blue gel pen. The lettering looked like a font. I could never be like this. I could never sit still for that long. Oh, to be like Cas; Quarterback, Captain of the Football team, debate mentor, NHS, he really had it all. I was just a linebacker struggling to remember physics. God, Dad, is gonna kill me.
"Thanks, man," There was relief in my voice. Maybe I'd pass. A.P. Physics is not the move when you're a dumbass.
Cas smiled and picked up his book, On the Road. I've never seen him eat during school. He's always reading, helping us with homework, or keeping Gabe and Garth out of trouble. 
The bell rang, so I handed Cas his notebook back. He winked, and I felt my heart pound. I'm sure he was just saying ‘you're welcome’.
* * *
Mr. Crowley handed out the test, and I inhaled deeply. I can't do this. I can't do this. 
Cas looked toward me and mouthed, "Are you ok?" 
I shook my head. The little shit winked again and raised his hand.
"Mr. Crowley, I think Dean is going to be ill," Cas fibbed, "I should take him to the nurse just to be sure."
"We wouldn't want that. Take him to the nurse," Mr. Crowley gave him the ok.
Cas and I walked out of the classroom and into the hallway. Cas gestured to me to follow him. He led me into an empty classroom and shut the door.
 He set his notebook and pencil down on a desk and bluntly said, "Sit."
I did as I was told. I watched him write a kinematic equation on a fresh sheet.
"What do you know?" Cas asked.
"Nothing."
"I don't believe that."
"I'm a dumbass," I shrugged.
He tilted his head, and I noticed a change in his eyes. 
"You don't believe you deserved to be helped," He stated and quickly changed the subject in an attempt to take what he said back. "Let's start easy."
I leaned my head over to see the problem he wrote. A hair fell on my face, and Cas pushed it away. I jumped. Cas jumped as well, startled by my reaction. His disposition changed.
"I'm sorry, I…" His voice trailed off.
"It's fine, Cas." I made an attempt to reassure him.
We moved along with the problem like it never happened. But it did happen. I would feel the touch on my forehead the rest of the day. The way his hand felt, soft and warm against my rough skin. 
We must have done at least 20 problems until I finally felt comfortable doing it independently. The bell rang, and I thanked Cas. He really didn't need to do that. I wasn't shocked that he did though, he always tried to help the guys somehow. The dude's a friggin angel.
* * *
I was distracted all of the football practice.  I was preoccupied thinking about Cas.
"Winchester, get your head in the game!" Coach Bobby yelled out.
I had known Bobby my whole life. He'd been more like a dad than my own blood. He was always there when Dad was deployed, on a hunting trip, or just drunk, unable to take care of Sam and me. Dad was never the most stable person. 
I nodded to Bobby and tried to focus. I'd been meaning to talk to the school counselor about getting me to see a therapist or something to get diagnosed. Bobby and I suspected I had ADHD but we wouldn't know for sure. Unfortunately, I knew that Dad didn't believe in therapy. And anyway, the doctor can't fix it if I'm distracted by Cas. God, the dude can move. His passes are perfect, he makes almost every goal, and his touchdowns are so impressive. God, I sound like I have a crush.
Practice finished, and we all headed to the locker room. Bobby gave a speech.
"We've got an away game tomorrow, folks. I expect the best behavior from you all, or you will not go to the sports Valentine's Day party. I mean it." Bobby continued, "I know that this year has been hard with the Superbowl being delayed due to extenuating circumstances, but I still need you idjits to be good."
"Yes, coach," We deadpanned in unison like cult members. We started exiting the locker room.
"Dean, I would like you to stay," Coach said sternly.
Oh shit. 
Bobby led me to his office and motioned for me to sit in a chair.
"What's up with you, son?" Bobby questioned, "You've got that look, is it a girl? You're not back with Jo, are you? Lisa? Or is it a guy or an enby? You know that I don't care…"
"No, it's no one," I'm such a liar. I've had a crush on Cas since he moved here in fourth grade, and Bobby can see right through my bullshit.
"Bull," Bobby raised his eyebrows.
I shrugged. I couldn't even imagine what dad would say. Actually, I could. It would be to get out of his house and never come back.
"So that's it, you just wanted to be nosey? Besides, it's no one, and dad would never let me." I sighed.
"Don't worry about your old man. I'd take care of it. Mr. King and I always have a place for you and Sam anyway." Bobby was dating Mr. Crowley, no one but Sam and I knew.
I thanked him and left to go pick up Sam from the middle school. Boy, he had grown up so fast. I remembered when he was born. And when mom died.
* * *
I pulled up at the school, music blaring. Sam rushed to my car and opened the door.
"Can you drive me to Jess's house?" Sam asked.
"No, tonight's family dinner night." Dad's A.A. sponsor told him that it was a good idea to start trying to be more of a part of our lives. That started with dinner, I guess.
* * *
Dinner with Dad was painful. Sam and Dad bickered back and forth about every single little thing. Sam wanted to go to college, Dad wanted him to keep up with the family business, then Sam said that hunting and the military don't count as a legacy. I hate it here.
"Sam, give it a rest." I dropped my fork into Cambell's chicken noodle with stars.
"You're not siding with him, are you?" Sam's face was defensive.
"I'm the adult here." Dad slurred.
"A half of one at best," I muttered under my breath.
"What was that, boy?" Dad's face had that look I didn't like.
"Nothing, sir," I was trying not to get killed.
Creak. Dad slid his chair back and walked over to me. As he hovered over my head, my heart dropped to my stomach. He held his hand out and swung. 
I could feel the tingling on my face as he said, "Say something else, and it's gonna be somewhere else."
Sam got up from the table and ran to his room. I hated when Sam saw this. I knew it would hurt him more, but I still spoke anyway. It's hard. I knew Dad loved us. He just didn't know how to express it.
I walked away from the table as Dad drank more beer.
"Sam, you know that…" I couldn't think of an excuse, so I said, "Open the door, please."
Sam opened the door. His eyes were red, stress hives had formed on his arm. I wanted to hold him and tell him I would get us out here. I tried to protect him. I wanted him to always be safe. I just wish he knew Dad before Mom died. 
"Why?" Sam asked, "Why do you just sit there and take it."
So he won't come after you, I wanted to say. Instead, I just shrugged as he closed the door in frustration.
* * *
I woke up early to go on a run to clear my head. As I ran, I saw a familiar face. It was Cas, walking a fluffy golden retriever. There was a redheaded girl next to him. I didn't know her, but she was pretty. I stopped jogging and stared for a moment.
"Hey!" I waved.
"Oh hey, Dean!" Cas's face brightened. He turned to the girl, "Anna, this is Dean Winchester."
Anna threw up a hand shyly. I smiled in response. 
"Catch you later, I guess," I said as I walked away.
It was nice to see Cas, and he looked happy to see me. His sister was nice as well. I thought of the interaction as I strolled to the abandoned house on the end of the street. Sam always asked why I liked that place so much, but I don't know why. I just like creepy things. The house feels almost supernatural. 
* * *
"Hey!" Someone hit me in the back. Jo.
"Hay is for horses," Jo grinned. "Got a date for the party?"
I shook my head. I was planning on asking Lisa but Jo was a fun party person. This could pose an issue, but I decided to ignore it.
"Well, you do now, silly goose," Jo said snarkily. 
I always took Jo to parties. She was indeed the life of them. We'd go, she'd flirt, I'd scope out the crowd, we'd both be disappointed, then drunkenly make out in the Impala. Maybe grab a milkshake. It was tradition, but I had never taken Lisa before. Jo and I were more like flirty friends; I really had something with Lisa.
"Same as always?" I asked.
"Yup, come get me at five, and I'll bring the refreshments." She was referring to the whiskey she would steal from her mom's bar.
Jo walked away, and I turned to see Lisa standing at her locker. She was grabbing a math textbook and a copy of Gatsby.
"Hey Lis," I started.
"What do you want, Dean," She seemed annoyed.
"Are you ok?"
"I thought you've been ignoring me," Her voice had little emotion.
"I'm sorry, I just didn't realize how distant I was," Now was not the best time. I decided to say nothing about the party.
"Also, I'm not going to the party. My mom is making me watch my sister." Lisa was disappointed.
"Aw man," Score. This would work out.
We departed from the hallway, and I went to class.
* * *
School could not end fast enough. I couldn't wait for the game.
"Winchester, come see me," Mr. Crowley ordered me to his desk.
I hesitantly got up. He seemed pleased. I could not think of what this could possibly be about.
"Dean, your make-up test is perfect," His voice was enthusiastic. "I'm very proud."
Wow. I could not believe this. I thought for sure that I had flunked. As I breezed by, Cas gave me a thumbs up. I would have to thank him later.
* * *
The rest of the day flew by like cake. 
The team gathered in the locker room before entering the busses. Coach Bobby gave us one last speech.
"Alright, boys, remember what I said yesterday. Be polite and respectful but kick butt," The team cheered as soon as he said it.
We filled into the bus like sardines. This would be unpleasant on the ride home. I made sure I sat next to Cas to talk about science.
"Hey man, thank you so much," I patted his shoulder. 
"Of course," He didn't even look up from his book.
"What's it about" I pointed to On the Road.
"Oh, it's not your kind of book. You wouldn't like it," Cas muttered assertively. 
"I'm sure I would"
"When I finish, I'll let you borrow it," Cas clearly was uncomfortable.
"Ok," I decided not to press.
We sat in awkward silence. It was painful. I tried not to stare while he read his book, but he's all I wanted to pay attention to. I noticed the way his eyes glowed, the way his lip curled when he read something funny, the way he brushed his fringe away from his face.
"Dean...Dean...Dean," I finally noticed that Cas was talking to me.
"Huh?" Shit.
"You're staring," 
"You're a pretty picture," I tried to laugh it off, and I guess it worked because he smiled.
He titled his head in surprise at the comment, but he didn't say anything about it, just turned to his book again. I stared more this time, making it very obvious. He looked up again and grinned. This time, I scooted closer. Now, we were only inches apart. Without looking up, he put his head on my shoulder and continued reading. His hair was soft against my cheek. His arm fit perfectly next to mine. I felt so warm and fuzzy. I never had this feeling before.
* * *
"Hut, hut, 67," Bobby was yelling out commands, "Let's go, boys!"
The bright lights lit up the dark field. It was the fourth quarter, and things were looking good. Tried to keep my head in the game as I made a pass to Cas. Cas fumbled the ball, and another player tackled him.
"What are you doing, Novak?" Bobby yelled. Fumbles were out of character for Cas.
I noticed that the opponent was on top of Cas. This was more malicious than just a tackle. 
"Hey!" Gabe tried to break them up but got lost in the mix. 
Finally, a ref noticed and threw up a flag, "Fifteen-yard penalty!"
Cas stumbled up, his lip was bleeding, and a bruise formed around his eye. We cleared the field to regroup. Cas would most-likely be evaluated, and that player, Azazel, would be suspended. Bobby took Cas to the medical station and, after, walked to the refs and the other coach. You could see them conversing. Bobby's face was solemn.
"So, after talking to the other coach and the refs, we've decided to end this game. The behavior was unacceptable, and we want to prevent any other incidents from happening." Bob said, disappointingly. 
"Ugh, I want to kill this kid!" Gabe yelled. His face was red hot.
"Exactly," Cas spoke up from the bench. No one even noticed that he walked over. "This is what we want to prevent." 
Gabe crossed his arms. He's quite the drama queen.
Bobby told us to gather our stuff and meet him outside to get on the bus. Most of the team was able to grab their belongings quickly. I was about to leave the locker room when I heard someone grunt. They sounded frustrated. 
"Dean! Are you still in here?" Cas called out.
"Um...yeah? Why?"
Cas walked out from behind a row of lockers, shirtless. I tried to contain myself, but the sweat against his skin, the ruffled wet hair, the smile, he looked hot. I must say.
He looked defeated, "I can't find my bag."
I nodded, and Cas continued, "Can you tell Coach Singer that I'll be late? I need to find my bag."
I ran to Bobby, "Cas can't find his bag. I'm gonna stay and help him. I'll call for you to pick me up later."
"Sounds good, kiddo," Bobby gave me two thumbs up.
I ran back to Cas just to find him with his head between his knees on a bench. I didn't know what to do, so I just placed my hand on his back and left it there. 
The room smelled of old sweat and mud. The smell was so overwhelming, I don't know how I didn't notice it earlier. There are lots of things I haven't seen, I start to think about what I've actually paid attention to.
"Cas?" I question. "Are you ok?"
He shook his head. He didn't even move from his position, so I got up to look around. The lockers didn't have locks, so I opened all of them. Nothing. I checked under benches, in stalls; I even looked by the toilets.
"Man, I can't find it," I sighed.
Seconds after I said those words, the lights went out, and I heard the twist of a key.
"Damnit!" I'd never heard Cas curse before, "What are we gonna do?"
"Cas, I don't know," I said as I tried to think. 
I opened my phone to see that it was dead. I couldn't use the flashlight, and if Cas didn't have his bag, he didn't have his phone with him. Thankfully, I had a charger in my pocket, but it would take at least an hour for my Motorola to charge. Damn, that phone takes forever.
"We're gonna miss the party, and it's all my fault," Cas started sobbing.
"No, don't cry," I don't do well with tears. I sat back down on the bench.
"Dean…" Cas scooted away from me.
"What?" I moved closer so I could hear him through the sobs.
Cas turned and kissed me. His soft lips against mine felt like heaven on a platter. He ran his hands through my hair as he swung his legs over onto my lap. I lay down on my back as he leaned into me. I began kissing back but still letting him lead. This is what I wanted. I've been yearning for this. He moves from my lips to my neck, and I run my hands across his muscles.
"Dean?"
"Cas?"
"God, I love it when you say my name," He says as he undresses me faster.
* * *
After we finish, I check my phone to see if it is charged. The time says 7:15. It's only been an hour since the game ended, so we're not too late.
"So what do we do now?" Cas was lying on the bench, looking at the ceiling.
"Call Bobby to pick us up, I guess?" I ran out of solutions, "I think someone stole it."
"You're probably right, but how do we get out of here?" Cas questioned.
I did not think about that. We were in a locked locker room after school hours with no way of getting out or seeing.
It took me a moment, but I came up with a solution. There's a window high up in the back, so I slid another bench towards it so I could reach it. I flicked the lock on the window, and it budged. It was a small window, but I could climb up and slide my torso through without issue. 
"Cas!" I yelled as I slid downwards out of the window, back into the locker room.
"What?"
"I found a solution."
* * *
Bobby arrived quickly to pick up a poor freezing shirtless Cas and me.
"No bag?" Bobby questioned.
We shrugged and told him we couldn't find it. Bobby said that we were never playing this school again. Cas and I were content with that. I looked over to Cas and smiled. He smiled back and giggled. I held out my hand, and he took it. I felt the warm sensation through my body again as he touched me.
"What's up with you guys?" Bobby asked.
"Nothing," I smiled but quickly pulled my hand away from Cas. I wasn't ready to tell Bobby yet.
* * *
We arrived at Valentine's party, and Jo was the first to greet me.
"Did you forget about me?" Jo wrinkled her nose in annoyance.
"Sorry, I was looking for Cas's bag." I'm not lying.
"Well, I found another date." Jo turned to a girl, Lisa.
"Hey Dean," Lisa waved and pointed to a redhead, "Meet Charlie!"
"Hi! I'm Jo's girlfriend!" Charlie stuck out her hand enthusiastically. 
I laughed—what a wild night. I strolled over to the drink table and grabbed some punch. Cas found me through the crowd. He was shy now.
"Dean? Are we going to talk about this?" Cas insisted.
"Sure."
"I like you."
"I get that." I wondered what the problem was.
"And?" Cas seemed unsure.
I moved closer to Cas and hugged him. 
Cas told me that Gabe had grabbed his bag from the locker room because he knew that Cas was hurt. Gabe was goofy but kind at heart. Cas was thankful that he did, and no one stole it.
That reminded me that I had something to give Cas. I opened my bag and handed Cas a mixtape with some Zeppelin favorites.
"Dean, I can't take this," Cas was in awe.
"It's a gift; you keep those." I smiled and took his hand to dance.
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bronyinabottle · 3 years
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In a recent post on I Dream of Twilight Sparkle I said that I noticed asks that were not in my inbox the last time I decided to read through my entire ask box. So I did the same for my mod blog. And while there were some also that I didn't see before. Most are questions I feel either I feel like I may have already sufficiently answered enough with my thoughts on an episode and/or it'd be weird at this point to answer something that's obviously years after the fact.
But there is two I found that I feel like I may want to respond to. The person who sent it was someone who used to discuss the show with me almost all the time, though obviously they must no longer be on Tumblr as all their blogs are deactivated. But I still want to answer since it is sort of relevant to recent stuff. Particularly in their 2nd ask.
By the way, I'm always open to questions on the show or even non-pony topics here on my modblog. I still do love talking about G4 ponies and I wouldn't mind some questions if any of you would like to know my opinion on anything. Now that the show has been over for nearly 2 years , I can have a perspective on many topics about Friendship is Magic that I wouldn't mind sharing. Maybe some things have changed here and there, though I think I still generally have a positive attitude towards most things for certain. I stuck with the show until the very end, and was satisfied with how it ended. And I still have interest in doing more in G4's world even as G5 approaches. (Though I'm sure perhaps once that movie has aired that may be the focus of any questions sent here)
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((My answer and more after the break))
For the most part, I think I still generally agree with what I said in my initial thoughts about the Season 6 finale. It's a solid episode with some great interactions between Starlight, Trixie, Discord, and Thorax. Though the way the ending is executed is a bit of a headscratcher. Maybe somewhat less so since thinking about it now, like even if Chrysalis did keep some things loyal. What would stop them from eventually seeing what Thorax's changelings did shortly after.
But I suppose I wanted to answer this mostly about Starlight. Since while the Season 6 finale made HomerJ get over some remaining feelings about Starlight. I'll admit it took literally until writing Secrets of the Dragon's Tear (A year after the show was over) to realize the sort of potential that Starlight had. The baggage from the Season 5 finale always felt like a cloud above her for the entire rest of the show's run. And I consider Season 6's largest mistake is not trying harder to endear us to Starlight. That's what that season's entire job was, to try to make us feel a little better of how rather rushed Starlight's redemption was by giving us a more expanded look into Starlight's character. And unfortunately, I feel like it failed at that in my opinion. Thus I basically disagree (Though respect the opinion of) with those who would say the Season 6 finale was when Starlight finally won them over.
Don't get me wrong, I like how Starlight is portrayed in the episode. But it would of been stronger if say the season had explained more about Starlight's past. How did Starlight get her cutie mark, and given her opinion on Cutie Marks how did she feel at the time?
Instead, we mostly just got Starlight reuniting with Sunburst that didn't exactly give any more details to her rather vague reasons for turning to darkness from him moving away other then finding out Sunburst's personality and how his side of the story went. And from there we had Starlight befriend Trixie... in an episode I still don't really like to this day.
Ironically, the character in the Hearth's Warming episode that casts Starlight as the story's version of Scrooge (Snowfall Frost) is given more reason to sympathize with then Starlight herself.
Starlight then just about disappears up until the episode that introduces Thorax. Where she doesn't do much other then be among the crowd that Spike has to convince that Thorax is not evil.
The next time we see her is Every Little Thing She Does. Which is something of a controversial ep from what I hear, though ironically despite my skepticism of Starlight at the time. I actually sort of liked that episode since it was basically Starlight's own Lesson Zero. Though I get why Starlight deciding to hypnotize all the Mane 6 besides Twilight against their will would not be approved of. Though it does feel like at the very least Twilight and the rest give her enough of a piece of their mind at the end.
And that's how things stood before the Season 6 finale happened. Even though I do think Starlight has good moments in said finale, nothing earlier in the season really dispelled many of my feelings about the Season 5 finale's ending. So despite a good showing, I could hardly care for it. I wasn't convinced yet we were given a satisfactory answer about the many questions that Starlight's sudden redemption prompted.
Another part of my thoughts I feel still applies is when I mentioned that Starlight's a "Diet Sunset Shimmer" (Which considering what I did to link the two for SOTDT, is a bit funny in hindsight). It took just one movie (Rainbow Rocks) for the fanbase to turn a 180 on Sunset. While an entire season with Starlight as one of the good guys goes by and she remained just as divisive as before if not more so by the end of Season 6.
Come Season 7, and Starlight appears quite a bit more often though under the assumption that the Season 6 finale was enough to warm you up to her. There were many complaints during the first half of Season 7 that she was appearing more then she should (Even in an Equestria Girls special where she got to meet the character she was so often compared to). Though another thing about Starlight in Season 7 in hindsight is besides from her meeting a few more friends like Maud. Starlight isn't actually given much to actually work towards. They dropped the whole student aspect so it's not like she was doing friendship lessons under Twilight anymore (Though I suppose on the bright side for the detractors, it lessened worries about her becoming an Alicorn). Season 8 and 9 does somewhat fix that by having Starlight employed at the school, first as a counselor and ultimately ending with her as the school's Principal as Twilight herself got promoted to sole ruler. Which I'm still unsure about if fans of her character feel that was a proper ending for her. Though probably the best that could of been done in context of not much having been done with her over time.
Still, at least for me personally it felt there was alot missing about Starlight and as time went on it became obvious I wasn't going to get the satisfactory answers about her that I wanted. So as a result, I only had lukewarm reactions when a new Starlight episode was coming up. It also didn't help that there were two episodes that raised my hopes of at least one interesting aspect that would of been cool to see. The first being the episode "All Bottled Up" which I had hoped would mean it would be an episode that's somewhat genie related. And then there was Road to Friendship where Starlight and Trixie try to travel to Saddle Arabia (which is an important location in I Dream of Twilight Sparkle)... and yet never actually get there. So even on the few times that I was hoping to be excited about a Starlight episode, it dropped the ball. Partly my fault for getting so hyped about something that wasn't promised, but I would of loved to at least SEEN canon Saddle Arabia.
I'd never say that I hated Starlight back during the show's run. But she was a frustrating character for certain back then. I couldn't hate Starlight as much as some others did, but at the same time I couldn't like her as much as others. She was in likability limbo. For every fun and or good moment that included her, it's brought right back by either lingering problems that arised from the Season 5 finale or otherwise dropping the ball in some way.
In some ways, she's still a frustrating character. Though that's just how it'll always be with the canon Starlight. It's up entirely now to fanon to give their approach on Starlight that was never done in Canon. With SOTDT, I obviously did a bit of a "Fine, I'll do it myself" when it comes to making Starlight a more satisfactory character for me. Though I'm sure there are many interpretations that are vastly different from how I approached it that can satisfy others and probably be more popular and better written then mine. (My interpretation might be understandably controversial just for Starlight being put back on a path where she'll likely become an Alicorn eventually. Something Starlight detractors feared the most. Though I think I at least try to explain as best I could that makes sense with the story, her cutie mark moment being similar to Twilight's, and the identity of her mother. And I myself sort of feared Starlight becoming an Alicorn might happen, so for me to actually write it so that it might be inevitable. That's just how much of a 180 I've taken on Starlight because of writing SOTDT)
I think I mentioned this before, but I can pretty much say that in a way that I can actually say I like Starlight now. But sort of in a "FiM's biggest missed opportunity" sort of way that it becomes sort of sad to look at how canon Starlight was done. Rather then me simply shrugging her off back when I didn't care so much about her. I also understand it's a bit cheating to say I like Starlight now after doing my own sort of fanfic that had her in a major role since that might be me tooting my own horn a bit.
Though I will say as much as necessary that I am very aware alot of what happens in SOTDT would have been impossible to do in canon and I don't plan on pushing what I did to expand on Starlight's backstory as gospel. It only applies to what I'm doing on the blog, I will not be making a case that my interpretation is the only correct one. I'd actually welcome seeing some different interpretations on things such as who Starlight's mother is, what they feel her past was like outside of the Sunburst leaving incident, and/or especially how Starlight originally got her cutie mark. (I've even said my personal guess is different then how I did it in SOTDT, as my guess is she got it the first time she discovered the cutie mark removal spell). Cause if nothing else, I've realized Starlight is a very interesting character that I think would be fun to explore all the possibilities with. It certainly could be something for those still on the G4 train to talk with one another about.
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thejosh1980 · 3 years
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Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes...
We've sure had a few changes here at The Ocean Shores Resort. It's been a full on month since I last wrote... Through the good, the bad, and the ugly, we've been keeping positive, enjoying the cooler days. Damn summer is hot and long here!!!
The past few months have all been about learning to deal with life's unexpected roadblocks and detours.
There's a lot to tell, but I think the main thing is, at least for me, that I've been a student for the first time the late 1990's. I've spent the past 4 weeks in class, learning, studying, researching, getting to know my classmates and finding all of it challenging, stimulating and exciting.
Studying counseling has been surprisingly awesome for my mental health too. I mean, I have had some really challenging days, especially when it comes to some of the assessments. The first one, well I just about quit the course over it. I really was at my wit's end. An assessment, I suspect, that was created by some office nut job in a government position, who never taught a day in his life and thinks his open ambiguous questions are making it easier for us to answer. I think the whole class suffered sleepless nights that week!! Terrible, but I chipped away at it, persevered and managed to finish it a few days early. Not only that, I learnt a lot about myself and the situation at hand, as you know I'm all about the process.
I learnt that I have to work slowly and meaningfully at these assessments. I can't expect to finish it in one sitting or even in one weekend. Just starting and having a go, finding the easier parts to get done first, using different resources (I love how I can spend the day watching youtube videos and count that as research) and making sure I take time to focus on me with a little bit of self care.
Alex has been super great too, as I delve into this mysterious world of study and being a student. She listens to me talk about the counseling theory of the day, the one we just did in class and how great it is because I can already apply it to friends, family or, more importantly, myself, only to hear me talk about the next theory the next day, like it's gods gift to therapy. She proof reads all my work, debates theories, offers very good suggestions (not only is she super self aware, but she's studied psychology) and somehow, I don't know how she does it, but she knows when I need a break and encourages me to take it. Otherwise I would be at the books day and night.
I've also learnt a lot in class about myself. Part of that comes from comparing my experiences, beliefs and knowledge with my classmates. They are all really great people from a wide variety of backgrounds. But some, push my buttons ever so gently, and I love it. I love the challenge of figuring out why I react to that person that way. What is it I'm feeling and why?
I am thankful this is not an online course!
I've gotten to know some classmates fairly well, and I am surprised at how they openly offer words of appreciation and support. Like “your voice is really calming�� and “your vulnerability and openness is a breath of fresh air”. I always thought my voice sounded pretty crap! (Yes I know I sing, but that still doesn't mean I like the sound of my own voice). Also, I never thought I was actually being vulnerable, I always thought that I was just sharing stuff, my stuff, in the hope we can understand each other better. I may have to stop that now....
Nahhhh, just kidding...
The course is something that is right for me, right now. I don't think my mental state would have been ready 2 to 5 years ago, let alone 10 or even 20 years ago!!
Besides the 2 afternoons being ruined by frustration, anger and hopelessness, due to the above mentioned assessment from hell, it's been a good 4 weeks into the year long course. I look forward to each day in class... I even go to the college on my off days to work in the library instead of working from home. I just get more done, even though Mijo misses my lap!
I don't know where the course will take me, I haven't even thought of what job I want to do once I'm a qualified counselor. I hope that during my time as a student, the course will guide me in the direction best suited for me. Learn my weaknesses, follow my strengths and work with both. It's all too overwhelming to think too far ahead. See, I'm learning...
Right here and now... That's all that matters....
During my first week at college, Alex changed jobs. Arriving in Australia and diving head first into real estate sales 1 hour away from home was a real high jump to begin with! The pressure of the job, not to mention the 2 hours a day traveling time, the weekend work and the small size of the business with undefined job roles made it tough! Real tough!
Alex decided to side step into an admin position in a bigger real estate company closer to home with defined job roles, massive support and a very positive outlook. She basically took up her role she had in New York. She's lovin' it! I am too. She's home each night at the same time, doesn't bring much work home with her, other than stories of her awesome day, which I love to hear. Additionally she now has her weekends free to explore and relax too.
She also found a psychiatrist who confirmed her ADHD diagnosis. Alex was originally diagnosed in her early 20's after her turbulent teenage years. She had therapy and medication back then but after a huge burn out in the US, she came back to Germany and let it all lapse. It has been a real struggle for her to cope, and at times, I'll be honest, it has put strain on our marriage. Well, 1 day after her first doc appointment and her meds had kicked in, she's become a new woman. It's been great to get to know this side of her. While things are not 100% perfect, I now have a wife who looks forward to getting up and attacking the day with gusto.
Mum's had a hard run lately too... We all know that I came back to help support her as her eye sight slowly deteriorates. I've been here to read every label, drive her to every appointment and help her work the wonderful world of her laptop, printer and Windows. Alex has been alongside us for the ride too. There's been a few recent health issues that have cropped up. I can't go into detail, but it's fair to say, I can see it was the right time to come home and be here to support Mum.
Mum is strong willed, strong minded and independent, and little of that will change while she can fight against all the odds throwin' at her. It's been a tough couple of weeks, and mum's kept focused on the bigger picture, her health, it's been inspiring.
Mijo has been through the wars.
The little deaf cat recently celebrated his 6 month birthday, but the poor fella has something seriously going on with his health which means we are delaying any big celebrations until his 1st birthday... Besides ringworm (it's not actually a worm, it's a fungal infection), a tooth that won't grow down (it grows directly forward and needs to be surgically removed), no appetite and losing weight, he's doing fine! The poor lethargic fella sleeps all day, which is kind of normal, except I can't remember the last time he had the energy to chase a toy or even run.
I haven't been taking him out much, he needs rest. We did explore the beaches, rivers and parks nearby together, I hope that in a few months I can pick up where we left off. For now he needs rest, calmness and another trip or two the vet.
Through all these ups and downs, we're all actually quite good.
My deep hole from February/March is just a blimp on the computer screen of my life. Studying has raised a few challenges but I am working my way through them, determined to kick that courses ass and learn, learn, learn... One day I hope I can help others through similar struggles as my own.
Alex's struggles with ADHD are progressing in the right direction now and her new job sure was the right call. Mum is showing the world she can take on whatever is thrown at her, and then some.
Alex and I keep going from strength to strength. I'm blessed with her support, respect and love. One classmates already calls her “the awesome wife”, and they've never met!! I guess when I talk about my wife, I reek of pride and love, as it should be.
Thanks for reading,
The Josh
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greekgrad12 · 4 years
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It Takes Two: percabeth!au
Mattie Jackson and Hayley Chase meet at the start of summer and discover that they are each other's identical clone. With a little more investigating, the two girls discover that they are, in fact, twins. Things only get crazier when they find out that their adoptive parents were once in love. Now, they have to work together to reunite Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase before Mattie’s dad ends up dating the new camp counselor and Hayley’s mom gets married to a kid hating, gold digger.
And what better way to do that than to switch places?
or
i rewatched It Takes Two and decided to make it percabeth :)
read on ao3 
*******************************************************
Percy Jackson had just finished packing his last duffel bag when he heard a very familiar voice yelling outside his apartment window. A voice that belonged to someone who was supposed to be in the next room over packing her own bags. A frustrated sigh left his lips as he opened the bedroom window looking down towards the street. Just as he suspected, a crowd of children were scattered on the road, some taking up the spaces around the chalk-drawn diamond, others sitting on the sidelines. And right there on the makeshift home plate stood none other than...
"Matilda Sally Jackson!" Percy yelled down from the fourth floor to his daughter, "If I were to walk into your room right now, would your suitcases be packed?"
The ten-year-old girl turned and gave her dad an exasperated look, "Ah come on, dad! Ten bucks say you only just got done!"
"Thankfully, I'm not raising you to be like me," He teased, leaning on the windowsill. He was very much aware of the red tint on his daughter's olive cheeks, even from the distance between the two, "I'm hopefully raising you to be better. Now come finish packing, we're leaving in two hours!"
Percy and his daughter had a great relationship, unlike Percy and his bio-dad or first stepfather. Yeah, he didn't have the best luck in the fatherhood department, but that was why he wanted to do better for his daughter. And he was. Percy spent every day trying to be a good dad to Mattie. He taught her his mother's famous cookie recipe, braided her hair every morning before school, and attended every single swim match she had. Granted he was also the coach, but still.
Mattie didn't have a mom. Well, not one that she remembered anyway. Percy and his ex-wife, Lydia, were on thin ice for a long time. One of their main arguments being, Percy wanted kids, she didn't. Percy knew from a young age that he wanted a family, so there was no use trying to argue that. Somewhere along the way, they had reached an agreement and Mattie was on the way. Halfway through the whole process, Lydia changed her mind. This lead to the fifth argument of the month and to their inevitable divorce.
This also lead to the decision that would change the rest of Percy's life. Would he still adopt baby Mattie?
Yep, adopt. Lydia didn't want to go through the whole pregnancy ordeal and Percy was more than happy to adopt. He knew what it was like to grow up in a tough home and if he could prevent that from happening to another kid, he wouldn't hesitate. Mattie’s birth mother was a 19-year-old girl who was apparently going through a hard time. Truthfully, Percy didn’t know much about her, but it wasn’t due to a lack of effort. When bio-mom picked Percy and Lydia to be the parents of her unborn child, she was in the final stages of her pregnancy and she didn’t want to meet them. The only thing Percy heard about her was that she moved out west somewhere only a week after Mattie was born.
As a social worker employed at Goode Middle School, Percy had the advantage of being college friends with many of the adoption agents. This helped speed up the adoption process tremendously. At first, he saw that as a blessing, but after the divorce, it seemed that Percy was under even more pressure to make his decision.
It took some long talks with his mom to convince Percy that he could still do this; be a single dad. But it was his little sister, Estelle, who convinced him he would be great at it. After all, he had partially helped raise her and she turned out okay. She ate all of their mom's blue cookies, but she was okay. Plus, his family would be right by his side. So, Percy went along with the adoption. He hasn't regretted it once.
Yes, Mattie was adopted, but two you could never really tell. Mattie was daddy's little girl from the very beginning. From their beach days together to their daddy-daughter dates to get cheeseburgers at the local diner, the two were inseparable. By some twist of fate, the baby girl had even grown up to have a shade of green eyes like her dad's.
And that wasn't where the similarities stopped. Mattie was a rambunctious and sarcastic kid. There are times when Percy isn't sure what to expect from her, but more often than not, Mattie was the most helpful and patient kid a single dad could ask for. Still, as easygoing as she could be, Percy knew how proud his daughter was. After being embarrassed in front of her friends, Mattie Jackson had something to prove.
"Just let me hit this ball downtown! Grand slam, home run, guaranteed," Mattie was a lot like her father, but she had ambition. She was a tough girl. A smart girl. She reminded Percy of-
"Okay, fine," He started, "but if it's anything less, you're making me a mug at camp."
The girl shuddered at the idea of having to participate in her least favorite camp activity but nodded nonetheless. She stepped back up to the plate. Mattie was athletic. She hopped around from sport to sport, mainly just for the experience, but there was nothing she loved more than swimming. Her father's love for the water was one of the many things the girl had picked up from him.
But right now, Mattie's focus wasn't on the water. Percy watched as she scrunched her nose up, waiting for the pitch. The boy at the pitchers' mound, one of Mattie's friends, Cody, was taking his sweet time with the ball. Right when it looked like he was about to throw the pitch, he instead turned to his team and signaled for them to back up.
Percy couldn't help the smirk that formed on his lips. He wanted a World's Best Dad mug, but at that moment, he wanted his daughter to show those kids who's boss more.
The ball was pitched and the next thing Percy knew, he was hearing the sweet sound of a crack made from the balls' contact with the bat. He cheered as his daughter took first, and again when she rounded the corner for second. The ball had landed somewhere far down the street and the rest of Mattie's team were assuring her it was safe. She made it to third and right when Percy was sure he wouldn't be getting his mug, a car pulled up and parked right over home plate.
Mattie slowed down and stopped right in front of the old car. A confused look was shared between the other kids, but she knew exactly who the vehicle belonged to. And while she was happy to see it, Mattie was pissed that she couldn't reach home from under the car.
"Mattie, your dad called me half an hour ago telling me that you two were just now starting to pack. What are you doing out here?"
Before the girl could answer, Cody's voice rang out at her side.
"Loosing," The boy mocked as he tagged the girl out with the ball.
Mattie turned towards him and glared, "There is no way this counts!"
***
"I want my mug to be blue," Percy teased his daughter as she walked back into their apartment, "with World's Best Dad written in big letters."
"You and I both know that you don't need a mug to know you're the best dad. Plus, I suck at clay molding," The girl complained, "Not to mention that it's the most boring activity at camp."
Her father smirked, "Well you should have thought of that before you agreed to the bet."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Mattie grumbled, "Can I just pay Rachel to do it for me?"
"No," He laughed, "and don't even try to go behind my back and do it anyway, because I will find out.”
"Okay, you two, settle down," Sally Jackson-Blofis' laughter rang out in the small apartment. As much as Mattie was a daddy's girl, Percy was a bigger mama's boy, "I came by to see you before you leave and drop off some cookies for the trip."
Mattie's eyes couldn't have bulged out of their sockets more when her grandmother pulled out the plastic tub of blue cookies. Just as she went to grab the box, it was pulled out of reach by her father, "Oh, no you don't."
"Oh, come on, dad!" Giving the best puppy dog look she could muster, Mattie looked up at Percy, "Just one?"
Percy had to look at his mother for support. There was little that his daughter couldn't get away with when that look was thrown his way, "Nope. Not until you're done packing."
"Seriously?" His daughter whined, "Wasn't calling me Matilda in front of all my friend's punishment enough?"
"You know, I was this close to naming you Janet," He mocked, holding his pointer finger and thumb so close they were barely touching.
Mattie's big eyes narrowed into a glare as she stuck her tongue out at her father, "Fine, but don't be surprised if your mug doesn't have a handle."
"I think you're just doing that to make the sculpting easier for you."
A small grin appeared on her face and she shrugged, "Maybe."
Percy rolled his eyes at the girl and chuckled as she walked back to her room. He turned back to his mom and saw her wearing the same endearing look she always has when she watches the interactions between her son and granddaughter.
"You've definitely raised a little you," Sally laughed.
"Well, in that case," Percy grinned and opened the Tupperware container holding the cookies, "I'm sorry for hogging the shower as a kid."
Sally took the container out of his hands before he got the chance to pick out a cookie, "And I'm sorry for not allowing you to be a hypocrite."
"What? I'm done with my packing!" Percy promised as he reached for the container.
"Even the extra blankets? You know how cold the bunks can get at night."
Percy was quiet for a moment before letting out a defeated groan, "You know, I was really proud of myself for a moment there."
"You should still be proud of yourself, honey," Sally grinned, "You're a great dad, and you and Mattie are going to have a great time at camp this year, just like you always do."
Camp Half-Blood was a summer camp that Percy had been attending since he was nine years old. His bio dad had attended the camp in his youth and it was one of the few things that Percy had left of the man after he died. When his mother remarried, it was a safe place away from his first stepfather, Smelly Gabe, a man that Sally Jackson only married because, at the time, she didn't have the funds to properly provide for her son. The camp had a big influence on the man Percy became. The experiences he had, the friends he made, the place where he felt closest to his father.
The girl he fell in love with.
Even years after he grew too old to be a camper, Percy found himself volunteering every summer as a camp counselor. A few years later, he was offered a paid position as an official counselor and the camp social worker. Chiron, the camp activities director, was more than happy to have him back. Especially, when he started bringing his daughter with him.
He couldn't help but smile at that, "Thanks, mom. I'm really excited about this year. You know, Camp Half-Blood was remodeled this past fall. Everything has been upgraded, I can't wait to see it."
"I'm sure it will look great. You've been complaining about the faulty flooring in the pavilion for years."
"There's been a giant crack going down the center of that thing ever since the earthquake back when I was still a camper. That's completely dangerous!"
His mother laughed and raised her arms in defeat, "Trust me, I agree. Still, with all the changes, I'm surprised that the camp could afford all the modifications."
"Yeah, I think the head of the architect company in charge is an old friend of Chiron's. Apparently, they will be coming down and checking out the camp, you know, to see how their work panned out, I guess."
"Well, you'll have to thank whoever they are for fixing your pavilion," Sally teased him as she grabbed a cookie out of the container and took a bite. Percy's mouth fell open as he stared at his mother with a look of betrayal, "What? I don't have to pack anything. Plus, a made them, I don't need justification."
"You are a cruel woman."
***
An hour and a half later, Percy and his daughter were packing their bags -and the extra blankets- into the car and heading towards Long Island Sound. With barely thirty minutes into the trip, half of Sally's cookies had been devoured and they had played a very enthusiastic game of Eye Spy.
"So," Mattie started as she reached for her fourth cookie, "is this the year you finally tell me who A.C. is?”
When Mattie was seven, during her first year at camp, Percy was adamant about showing her everything from his time at camp. Including all his favorite spots and activities from his time there. They visited the horse stables, where Percy told his daughter stories about his favorite horses and how he was one of the best riders. He took her to the strawberry field where they picked strawberries with her uncle Grover, just like the two had done when they were boys. But he was most excited about taking her to the dock and swimming in the water. Some of his most precious memories were made at that beach, on the dock. It was a special place for him. A place where he used to sit with her and escape from the world. A place where a first kiss was perfect under the Fourth of July fireworks. A place where carved initials still stood to this day.
When Mattie first found the letters carved at the end of the dock, she knew immediately that they weren't new. The marks had faded with time. When she realized that the first set of letters in P.J. + A.C. looked familiar, she decided to ask her father, Percy Jackson, if he knew who made the marks. Percy had never been a good liar. That was the day Mattie found out everything about her father's days at Camp Half-Blood. Everything, except who A.C. was.
"Mattie," Percy sighed, eyes staying on the road, "I've told you a thousand times, she's just an old friend. I haven't spoken to her in years, since before you were even born. I don't understand why you're so interested in this."
"Because friends don't carve their initials together on a dock for the world to see," The young girl persisted, blue crumbs falling from the side of her mouth, "That's what couples do in movies and stuff."
"Well, that explains it then. This isn't a movie, T," Truthfully, Percy wasn't sure if he was trying to convince her or himself more, "Besides, the camp went under construction this year, I'm sure the old dock was torn down and rebuilt. It was old."
Although, he would never admit this to his daughter, Percy was hoping, and wishing, and praying to anyone who would listen that the dock stayed the same. Percy would be lying if he said that he wasn't anxious about seeing it again. The thing was old, and he knew that the safety of the campers outweighed the feeling he still got in his stomach when he saw their initials carved together.
Maybe he could have called Chiron. Asked him if the new camp architect would spare that last plank of wood at the very edge of the water. Asked if he could keep it. One last memory of the childhood love he would never admit to never getting over.
What a ridiculous idea, he thought. Still, he always got like this in the summer, especially at camp.
Despite the fact that he was avoiding eye contact and staring towards the road, Percy could feel Mattie's frustrated gaze staring him down, but he held his ground. He was never going to see her again. The last time he saw her gray eyes staring back at him was at eighteen years old, their last summer as campers. She lived in San Francisco, California and would be going to UC Berkeley in the fall. He wasn't surprised, she was a genius. But Percy? He would stay in Manhattan and go to college on a swimming scholarship. They would try and stay in touch like how they did growing up. Busy schedules and adulthood would cause them to fail. Percy would still think of her, but he'd still get married to another woman. Percy would try to make it work, but he would still find himself wishing Lydia were her, and hating himself for it. So he tried to stop, but he couldn't help wondering. Wondering what she was doing. Wondering what could have been. But they hadn't spoken in years.
There was no point in telling his daughter how wonderful she was, because he knew Mattie would fall in love with her, just as he did. And they would never meet.
So, no. Percy would not tell his daughter about the girl he spent every summer with. He would not tell her about the girl who made fun of him for drooling in his sleep. He would not tell her about the girl who would sit with him at the dock and draw building structures while they talked about nothing and everything all at once. He would not tell her about the girl who's comfort book was Matilda, and that she made him read it, and that him joking about how she probably had superpowers like the character, because she too was a genius, made her blush. Percy would not tell his daughter because it would hurt too much.
Percy would not tell his daughter about his first love, Annabeth Chase.
*********
part two :)
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