#and it turns out I really dislike the childhood friends to lovers trope | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

frostironfudge · 2 years

Text

Could I Find Homeland In You? (Peter Parker One Shot)

Summary: based on the following nonnie's lovely prompt - Can you do a TASM!Peter x fem!reader prompt where they are childhood besties but Peter kinda starts crushing on Gwen but then after he approaches her she turns him down and the reader comforts him until he finally realizes he loves her? Kinda gets angsty when Peter tells her about Gwen bc she has also had feelings for him since forever but refuses to acknowledge them. Best friends to lovers kinda trope... loads of fluff?

hope you enjoy this my sweet nonnie <3

Pairings: TASM!Peter Parker x Reader

Warnings: angst, fluff, swearing, italicised words between dividers are past moments between peter and the reader. This is non canon compliant. Peter, Reader and Gwen are in university.

Word Count: 5046

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Masterlist // My AO3

-----------------------

Don’t look at them, don’t look at them. You chant to yourself, but your eyes do fixate, on his warm grin, bright brown eyes full of mirth. Then you gaze at the person making him laugh, Gwen.

Your heart sinks, you look back down at your notebook, ideas messily strewn across the pages. Lines crossed by ink but not you.

It isn’t that you dislike her, she is a really great person, you admire her work and she is always sweet to you.

It’s just Peter parker is completely taken by her, he hasn’t told you, his childhood best friend yet about how he feels but you can see it as clear as day. Peter blushing when he speaks to Gwen or about her, longingly looking at her when she walks past the two of you.

He doesn’t need to tell you what you already know.

You just wish he would look at you that way.

Because you look at him that way but he never finds your eyes.

“Do you want to continue this later? I’m kind of tired.” You ask the remaining members of the chemistry group project, your mood souring as Peter shifts closer to Gwen, reading the contents on her laptop over her shoulder. her temple resting against his jaw.

Your mind flashes to last week when the two of you were watching the latest episode of Dynasty, that was how you both were, cuddled up the laptop resting on the makeshift pillow stand.

You shake out of the memory looking at your group,

“Yeah.” They agree, you grab your scarce materials, shuffling out the door of the open area, it reverberates a clang upon shutting.

Peter looks up after a while, from the yearbook spread on Gwen’s screen, eyes scanning the area. His eyebrows furrow noticing your absence.

Trevor from your group walks by,

“Hey Trevor where is, Y/N?” Peter’s eyebrows furrow, he promised to come find you for the weekly ice cream date, he looks at his watch, shit, he’s late.

“She left while ago, had a few things left to be discussed, said something about being sick or tired?” Trevor shrugs waving and leaving. Peter feels worry seep in, you were fine this morning?

“Do you want to help with the placement interview later at home?” Gwen smiles up at him, Peter’s gaze softens.

“Um, tomorrow? I have something—someone I need to get back to.” Peter returns her smile, Gwen nods, packing her things and he takes off in search for you.

Peter’s search over campus fails to locate you. He heads to the ice-cream parlour. You’re not there either, he frowns.

Your phone rings but you avoid it, ending the group meet earlier did little to stop your aching heart. Stupid crush on a stupid childhood best friend.

You groan as the phone rings yet again, Peter’s goofy grin takes up the screen.

“Fuck it.” You mumbled answering.

“Y/N where are you? You weren’t even at our ice cream parlour! Are you okay? Trevor said that you’re sick, do I bring in some chicken noodle soup—,” Peter continues rambling as you sigh.

“I’m fine, you seemed too busy for ice cream so,”

“What no? I wasn’t busy.” He defends, you can hear shuffling on his end.

“When did you check your watch?” You ask, knowing his habit.

“Y/N,” He bites his lip, walking up the steps to your dorm.

“You checked it late, so yes, you were busy, with,” You take a deep steadying breath, “with whatever. Peter, just I have papers due. Bye.” You cut the call burying your head into your pillow and groaning, tears sting your eyes. You need to get over this stupid crush on your best friend.

Peter sighs, halting outside your door, balancing the tubs of ice cream and he knocks. His heightened sense picks up your footsteps, he hears the soft placement of your palms on the door frame. As you’re peering through the peephole to check who it is. Even though you know it is him.

You contemplate, but you know he knows you’re standing at the door. The stupid image of him and Gwen won’t leave your mind. He has been spending a lot more time with her.

Peter is grinning, waiting for you outside.

You deadbolt the door.

Peter’s stomach lurches, a crack encasing itself upon his heart.

“Y/N?” His voice barely a whisper, “Why?” The pain permeates the wooden door, onto your own heart.

“Y/N open up.” Peter incessantly knocks at your door.

“Go away.” You say softly through the broken sobs.

“I won’t leave till you open up.”

Peter slides down the door, back touching the door. Heightened sense picking up on the silent sniffles you try stifling.

he smiles as the idea pops up in his mind,

Peter kneels, palms pressed to your door.

He takes a deep breath, “If you ever find yourself stuck in the middle of the sea, I’ll sail the world to find you,” He pauses singing, you don’t sniffle, the soft rustling of your sheets tell him you turned.

He bites his grin back, “If you ever find yourself lost in the dark and you can't see,I’ll be the light to guide you,”

Peter stands up, drumming his fingers on your door to the rhythm of the song.

“We'll find out what we're made of, When we are called to help our friends in need. You can count on me like one, two, three,

I’ll be there,

And I know when I need it, I can count on you like four, three, two,

And you'll be there,”

He hears the padding of your feet, you undo the lock.

Neither of you make a move to open the door.

“'Cause that's what friends are supposed to do, oh, yeah” You hesitantly sing, blinking through the tears, opening the door, Peter engulfs you in a warm hug.

And twirls you around, as he hums the tune, both of you singing the song in silly voices now.

You bite the inside of your cheek as you unlock the door.

Peter blinks seeing the door crack open. He steps in, finding you looking down.

“I’m sorry.” He says.

“You don’t even know what to apologise for.” You keep tracing the wooden pattern of the floor with your eyes.

Please look at me, he wishes to say.

“I got ice cream.” He tells you instead.

“I’m not in the mood.”

“Whats wrong?” He steps closer and you step back, Peter feels the ache return.

“Y/N, talk to me please.” He begs, making you look at him, his eyes are glassy.

You decide to tell him, bare your heart, uncaring if he stomps on it.

When you open your mouth to speak, a cacophony of sirens graces the silence that you were to fill.

Peter looks distraught, he wants to be there for you, hear you out, but his sense is tingling. You can see it on his face.

“Go.” You gesture with your hand to the window.

“No, you need me.” Peter decides.

“You will guilty if you do not help, Peter just leave.” You press on.

“Y/N, I,” Peter grabs your shoulders, a helicopter whirls past.

“Peter go.” You push away his hands, he sets the bags he carried down, undoing his shirt to reveal the familiar blue and red outfit.

“I’ll be back soon.” He promises as he leaps out of your window, swinging away with precision.

You put the ice creams in the freezer, returning to the bed to sulk again.

———————

He didn’t return that night, shooting you a text at 3 a.m. that he went back home. It was code for I’m injured and will not subject you to see that aspect of this job.

So you throw your sour mood aside, bounding up the steps to Aunt May’s house, to smack some more sense into Peter about his disregard towards life in general.

May greets you with a smile, “Breakfast? I’m making waffles.”

“Thank you, Aunt May.” You nod eagerly, then make your way up the stairs to Peter’s room.

“Hey Peter, so should I lecture you in Spanish since English does not seem to work—oh,” You pause, seeing him on a Skype call with Gwen.

“Hi, Y/N!” She waves, her lab-coat on, so you know she’s at Oscorp.

“Hey.” You respond, the sour mood you pushed away trickling back in.

“Hey, Peach.” Peter grins, his voice wavers, you can see the pink lines of the almost healed wounds across his face and arm.

“Um, Peter… I need to head back, could you, wrap it up?” Gwen’s eyes flicker to you.

“Wrap what up?” You look between the two, you catch the tensing of his shoulders.

“Peach we need to discuss about the yearbook.” He turns to look at you.

“Is the yearbook more important than the internship at Oscorp?” You try to make it sound like a joke, Peter narrows his eyes.

“That is just uncalled for, Y/N you need to apologise.” He looks back at Gwen who seems startled at his colder tone.

“Excuse me?” You ask, looking between the two.

“It really wasn’t rude, Peter—,” Gwen stops when he holds his hand up.

“It was.” Peter looks back at Y/N, expectantly.

“I’m not apologising.” You cross your arms across your chest.

“You were rude.” Peter states, scoffing at your reluctance.

“You know what, just continue the fuck you were doing, and next time make it more fucking believable than yearbook shit, incase you forgot, I’m on the committee and we sent the final draft in last night.” You turn, to walk out.

Peter turns to face Gwen sighing making no attempt to stop you. You make it to the doorway, when your blood turns into frigid tendrils of ice,

“Does she know you’re a certain Spider enthusiast? I was worried when you stepped in injured last night!” Gwen’s voice cuts as though glass through your heart.

Peter swivels in his chair as he hears your shoes squeak on the wood.

“Oh god, shit, I’m so sorry Peter—,” Gwen disconnects the call fearing the damage done.

“So she uses the nickname I gave?” You nod, a bitter laugh bubbling through you.

“She found out, I didn’t tell her like I told you, Peach please—,”

“Just stop it, you’re obviously so in love with her, you want to spend all your time with her. So, it is safe to say that why wouldn’t you trust her to mend your wounds? Or to strategise with you? Know what? I am sorry, I’m sorry for interrupting your date. I’m sorry for thinking that I’m the only one you could trust with this, so much for not wanting to tell anyone so as to not risk them right?” You begin to move away.

“Peach, please listen to me,” Peter grabs your upper arm, as if the physical contact would make you listen.

“No.” You warn, pulling away but his palm is stuck to your sweater.

“Now you have to listen,” He attempts to make a joke.

“I don’t have to listen to your bullshit, Parker.” You set your bag down, pulling the sweater swiftly off of your body, leaving you in the thin material full sleeve crewneck.

“The weather is cold.” Peter reasons.

“No, what is cold is you icing me out, for weeks, if you wanted to spend all your time with Gwen, you could have told me, I would have backed off, not that you could understand anyways. She can be your best-friend and girlfriend.” You grab your bag, he webs it into his free hand.

“Understand what?” Peter feels frustration coursing through him, this conversation is what he wanted to have in a quiet and safe space with you. Not like this, not with your turning away from him.

“I’m done wasting my time.” You run down the steps before he can make sense of your words, calling out a frantic goodbye to May, you half run home.

Peter runs after you, but you’re lost in the crowd, “Fuck.”

“May, I’m going behind, Y/N.” He calls out bounding up to his room, your sweater finally unsticking from his hand. He quickly puts your bag pack on his shoulders as he swings out of his window.

He stops on the fire escape outside your window, your curtains are drawn but he can hear your sniffles. Peter swallows the lump that is caught in his throat.

You look at the picture of the two of you framed on the desk, from the day of the high school graduation, you’re smiling at the camera but Peter smiles at you.

Peter hears the crash of glass and then the door of your bathroom, he quietly enters your dorm, the picture frame now on the floor, he takes off his mask. Carefully picking it up and clearing it of the broken pieces.

“Alright you two, come on, smile!” Aunt May cheers as she takes a picture, you grin at the camera, not noticing Peter smiling down at you.

“We did it Peach!” Peter ruffles your meticulously styled hair, you grab his hand.

“Peter, this took two hours!” You whack his hand away.

“Ow!” He feigns being hurt.

You roll your eyes, “So a freight truck hits you and you’re fine but if I hut you it hurts. Noted. Spider Enthusiast has several issues with pain perception.” You whisper to him.

Peter laughs, eyes crinkling at the corners. Just the way you’ve come to adore.

“So where are you two off to celebrate graduating?” Your aunt questions as she and your uncle walk up to you both.

“Just Harry’s party,” Peter answers offering them a smile.

Your uncle shakes his hand and pats his back. “Proud of you son. Proud of the two of you, can’t wait to see how you both taken college by storm.”

Peter’s eyes cloud with unshed tears, at your uncle’s gesture.

Your aunt and aunt May hug you,

“God, just a little baby and now all grown up.” Aunty May squeezes your cheek like always.

You smile at them.

“Your parents would be proud of you.” You aunt says, tucking your stray lock of hair back.

You find Peter’s encouraging gaze, he gives you a knowing smile. The topic of your parents was one that you only discussed with him, you both met at the funeral held for them, being neighbours your friendship blossoming in finding comfort within each other.

“I think yeah, they would have.” you hesitantly agree, not having the best relationship with them.

Peter walks towards you, grabbing your hand, you give the intertwined limbs a squeeze. A silent thank you.

He squeezes back.

Peter gathers the broken glass in a web, putting in in a discarded box, placing it in the garbage.

He places your bag down on the bed, writing a note,

‘Peach,

I’m really sorry, there is this thing that involves that company, you know I want you as far from all of this, hell I want everyone close to me safe.

I’m an idiot, ice cream today? My treat.

Please give me the chance to explain.

Peter.’

He hears the bathroom door and he swiftly slips out, wearing his mask standing on the fire escape again.

You sniffle, wiping your eyes again. Your expression furrowing when you see the glass missing and the frame back in place on your desk.

You look around, inspecting the room, your bag there with a note.

Reading over you, clench your jaw.

“Chance to explain?” You scoff, “What is he going to say that I don’t already know? Oh I took Gwen to this cute spot at the park so I got late, oh Gwen and I were planning to taken down the company she works at because the boss is actually a weird fucking goblin.”

Peter’s head snaps to your voice in confusion, he knows you are rambling and ranting but the fact that you said goblin is just bafflingly astute. He lets out a breathy chuckle.

“Chance to explain my foot.” He hears the paper crumple then the ball of it bounce twice before he hears you lay on your bed.

He places his hand on the window glass, heart aching to reach out to you. He knows you need space to think through before he can speak to you.

Things slow down around Peter, New York City almost standing still, he shifts his gaze all along the horizon, his head snaps upwards.

Peter crawls the wall, shooting a web to the Goblin’s hover board passing from above and the other web catching his little bomb and sticking it onto the board.

The Goblin looks down at the source of rapid beeping, then Peter waves from underneath, “Hey, remember me?”

Before the final beep Peter pushes off before the blast occurs, throwing the Goblin off course.

———————

Peter leans back into the booth at the diner Gwen had taken him to on the night he accidentally revealed his identity.

It had been about two weeks since you both had spoken coherently. You were ignoring him, buried yourself in coursework. He couldn’t hold that against you.

Peter picks at the plate of pancakes, maybe he could hold it against you.

Gwen has reached out to you and much to his dismay, the two of you had cleared the air, she even teased him (at your request) saying there was an initiation ceremony to be inducted into the super secret ‘Spiderman Personal Identity Defender Expert’s Regulation.’ Or S.P.I.D.E.R.

If he wasn’t so worried he would laugh at the name you came up with.

“We need a guild or group.” You say, you’re upside down on the couch. Looking up at Peter who is currently on the ceiling.

“For what?” He questions, fixing the loose screws of the lamp.

“You know for like our team.” You straighten up as he jumps down without a thud.

“Our team?” He raises an eyebrow.

“Yes cause being a hero isn’t a one person job. You need research assistants, intel gathering interns, hackers, maybe a security detail, ohhh maybe cool weapons or sniper web shooters.” You grin at the prospects.

Peter adores your enthusiasm and the plethora of good ideas you’re giving, his smile falters as reality kicks in and dread trickles down his spine,

“Woah, Woah, let us not get ahead of ourselves? I told you only because I trust you. The less people know the better.” He explains taking a seat.

“They won’t know who you are? Only I will.” You shrug.

“Right. They’ll be in danger.” He tries making you understand.

“Okay so why don’t I be there to help?” You look hopeful, you only suggest because it would help dissipate the anxiety that bubbles through you about his safety. The first time you saw him bleeding, battered and bruised, it scared the life out of you.

“Peach,” Peter sits in front of you, hands on your knees, “You have college ahead of you—,”

“You do too.” You cut him off.

“Yes well, I don’t have extra curricular activities lined up because of being well a menace to the city.” He scrunches his nose at the line.

You giggle, cupping his cheek, heat blooms within you as his eyes are on you.

“Look Peter, I know I have things lined up, so do you. It would ease my worry and help you do your work.” You hope he understands.

He holds your hand under his, still against his cheek.

“I’ve lost several people, I don’t want you to be one of them. Please just be Peter’s Peach. Not Spiderman’s right hand who he would die without.” He chuckles.

“You still would die without my minimal involvement.” You deadpan.

“And for your continued graciousness, Spiderman is at your eternal handyman service.” He grins and you laugh.

Gwen smiles as she settles into the booth,

“What did you want to talk about?” She looks at Peter curiously.

He looks up, offering her a smile, nervousness courses through him. You would have teased him for being this nervous. Usually he is the smooth talker between the two of you. He smiles at the thought of you trying to make him confident to broach this subject.

“I,” He lets out a breath, “I wanted to know if you would,” He stops again, shaking his head and rolling his shoulders.

“Gwen Stacy,” He begins,

“Peter Parker,” She laughs, he chuckles.

“I well, I have liked you since a while and I was wondering if you would like to go out with me.” He says it in sort of a rush and when he looks at Gwen, really looks at her he pales.

“Oh Peter, I’m,“ Gwen looks around struggling for the words, “I don’t feel the same. I see you as a friend really. Honestly I thought you and Y/N have something brewing…” She trails off nervously toying with her coffee mug.

“Why, why would you think that?” The rejection doesn’t hit him as hard as he thinks it would. He takes in Gwen’s words as they reverberate through his mind.

“Well you both honestly move around each other like magnets?” Gwen nervously laughs, “You both have this dopey happy grin on your faces, when you speak of each other.”

Gwen thinks over the other observations she has collected over the eight to nine months you all have been introduced to each other.

“You search her out all ways.” Gwen says softly, a smile on her face.

“I, I, don’t—,” Peter stops, did he do that?

“You do, on campus, off campus. You look around and when you see her you just have this look on your face. Full of admiration and love? I don’t know I see that she feels deeply for you and I think that happened even before you became you know,” She gestures towards him, “A Spider Enthusiast.”

“Not one picture are you looking at the camera.” Aunt May huffs at Peter, but smiles knowing who his eyes are upon.

“What, no, there must be one.” Peter grabs the printed photos sifting through them.

“See here!” He says after a few minutes of searching.

“Your eyes are to the side, Peter…” Aunt May runs her hand through his hair,

“Oh, yeah, Y/N was speaking to Flash.” He explains.

“It is nice that you look out for her. Do you think there could be more to it?” She doesn’t mean to pry but watching the two of you be there for each other from the death of your parents to the death of Uncle Ben.

Hell he even fought for you to remain in the city so you wouldn’t be whisked away to San Diego with your Aunt and Uncle.

“No, May, I don’t think so…” Peter sounds unsure, it would be great but he knows you would never feel that way.

Peter checks into reality, his eyes scan over the diner, then land on Gwen.

He does not utter a word he doesn’t need to, Gwen offers an encouraging smile.

“That is what you do, subconsciously look for her.”

“Do you, do you think she will forgive me?” Peter toys with the tissue paper dispenser.

“I think she will hear you out.” She answers.

“What if, what if she doesn’t want to be with me?”

“Then you can try to mend your friendship.” Gwen shrugs, setting the mug down.

“Look Peter, you’re just now realising that you have more than a best-friend’s worth of feelings for her. Even if she does reciprocate the feelings you will have to go on dates, try dating.” Gwen has a fond smile on her lips.

“You sound like you know what it is like?” Peter wonders if she had someone like that, before college.

“I did, he and I were best-friends in high school and one day just,” Gwen loses words, still smiling at the memories.

“Is he still? I mean I’m asking because I don’t want to be disrespectful and I didn’t know.” He begins to ramble.

“Oh god, no uh, he and I decided to part ways he wanted to go to the UK and I wanted to stay here. I’m sorry if I sort of lead you on…” Gwen rubs the back of her neck the conversation treading towards awkwardness.

“I’m sorry for misinterpreting and just you know…” Peter trails off.

“Friends?” He asks, offering a handshake.

“Oh yeah totally, but I think being in S.P.I.D.E.R. makes me an employee? So you know boss and employee friendships, bad idea.” Gwen laughs and for a minute Peter is confused before he grins.

“Go to her, she might either be at Flash’s party, or the library.”

“How—How do you know?” Peter looks taken aback.

“Well I sort of thought I would be playing messenger but seems like I’m playing cupid.” Gwen shrugs.

“Thank you.” Peter smiles as he rises from his seat.

“Anytime, send me a cute couple selfie!” Gwen calls out but he’s out before she can complete the sentence.

—————————

Peter tries calling you but it goes to voicemail. You aren’t at the library nor are you at Flash’s party.

He sighs feeling defeated when your home turns out to be empty as well.

Begrudgingly he walks back home, Aunt May greets him at the door.

“Is everything okay?” She wonders as he steps in seemingly defeated.

“No.” He wraps his arms around her.

“Oh Petey, what’s wrong? Did Gwen say no?” She runs her hand through his hair, the gesture a reminiscent of comfort.

“I, I’ve been in love with Y/N. All this time, Gwen made me realise that, she says I look out for her where ever I am, and I do that. It gives me comfort she is near me. May, I’ve I’ve thought about it, but I didn’t think she would feel the same ever.” Peter explains.

“Did you ever ask her how she feels?” May pulls away from the hug, cupping his cheek, he shakes his head.

“I think I’ve been too scared to lose her.” He admits.

“Why are you hanging out with him?” Peter questions your hanging out with Flash after your weekly ice cream date.

“We’re in the same project group and I would like an ‘A’.” You shrug, “Why?”

“Do you like him?” Peter asks and you scoff.

“Peter what are you trying to get at?” You stop walking.

“Just if you have a crush on him.” Peter tries appearing unbothered though it does bother him.

“I don’t like him. It is cute you’re jealous though.” You giggle, poking his nose.

“I’m not jealous.” He narrows his eyes.

“Okay,” You say and his tensed shoulders relax, “Whatever you say you lil jealous baby.”

You run off as he chases after you laughing till you tumble through May’s front door.

“Would you tell her how you feel?” She smiles at him.

“I would.” He admits, smiling, feeling no ounce of nervousness in his feelings for you.

“Go on she’s upstairs.” May pats his back, “Go be with her.”

Her encouragement is all he needs, as he takes two steps at a time to reach his room.

You drop the book you were reading at his frantic entry in the room.

“Are you okay?” You eye him up to down worried, “Did Gwen say no?” You wonder as May told you what his plan was, she could see the turmoil in your eyes.

“No.” Peter steps towards you.

Your heart drops, “Oh, well congratulations I guess—,”

His lips taste like mint and honey, your eyes widen then close.

Peter Parker is kissing you, Peter Parker is kissing you, your mind screams.

You abruptly pull away. His woodsy scent still lingering in your senses.

“What—, Peter, you just said she—,”

“No, she said no and she made me realise something that I’d been ignoring.” Peter knees now eye level with you, his hands resting on your knees.

“I’m highly confused.” You admit.

“Y/N, I’ve been stupid,”

“I agree to that.” You giggle.

Peter looks at you,

“Continue.” You pretend to zip your mouth.

He takes a deep breath,

“I’ve been stupid, I had who I wanted in front of me, I see you out in every place I am, hell even if we are together you’re all I want to see, I get jealous when another guy has your attention. I want it to be me, I want to, I want to be your date. Well several dates then ask you to be my girlfriend. I’d take you to out ice cream parlour and write it on the cup like I asked you to be my best friend.”

Your sniffle stops his ramble.

“I, do you, do you?” Peter questions.

“Peter are you saying this because Gwen said no and you’re settling?”

His features soften, “Peach, I’ve been incredibly stupid to not act on the feeling that I had before, Gwen told me she thought we were a couple, or something was going on, hell May asked me after graduation.”

“You’re sure? Cause I can’t take another heartbreak from you.” You admit, playing with the sleeve of his jacket which rests on your knee.

“Let me take you out on a date to show you how serious I am.” He cups your face.

You hold onto his forearms.

“Okay.” You say quietly, Peter’s smile shines brightly.

“I’m going to take you on the best date ever.” He promises.

Your gaze falls onto his lips, he bites his bottom lip.

“Can-Will you kiss me again?” You ask, blushing.

“As many times as you want, my Peach.” He smiles, leaning in.

Peter’s lips feel perfect against yours his scent envelops you, the mint and honey taste sweetly addictive.

Peter, shifts closer, your lips some how taste akin to peaches. He smiles in the kiss.

He feels as though he is holding his homeland between his hands.

The person who he could belong to, be with, with whom he would fall in love.

Your hands inch towards his hair, you both only break apart for a moment, before his kiss bitten lips brush against your nose, your blush intensified.

“Can’t wait to be yours Peach, you’re my homeland, seek you out wherever I can.” He whispers against your lips, as he pulls you in for another kiss.

-x-

262 notes · View notes

toiletwipes · 2 years

Note

'm just a lurker lookin' back through all of your posts but oh gosh the dj!simpbur au scratches the brain nicely

just imagine walking into the nightclub as if it were a planned weekly occurance, and sitting down as close as possible to the dj. you know he seems to have a thing for staring at you, so why not make it as easy as possible? whenever you do get up to dance, you always stay right in front of him. it's fun for you, and it's fun for him.

he seems to guess how well-received his songs are by watching your face. if your eyes light up in that cute way that they do whenever you're excited because a song you like just came on, he'll save that memory and make sure to play that song at least once every time you come in. if you hear a song, freeze, and raise your eyebrow in what seems to be silent judgement before just shrugging and getting back to dancing or whatever it was you were doing, then he'll make sure not to play it again. if you do that adorable little thing where you scrunch your nose up in disgust as a response to a song you seriously dislike, he'll take a note and may even immediately skip the song. (hell, he may even have physical notes on his 'desk' to remind himself of songs you do and don't like)

you love requesting songs from him. usually, he doesn't really listen when people request songs, but with you he basically puts all of his attention into it. even though he's a blushing, stammering mess whenever you approach, he's oddly good at doing that while still doing his job efficiently. and he absolutely adores the way that you stand by his 'desk', looking all pretty and proper, before getting tired out from conversation and just starting to lean on/over it yourself. it starts off as just song requests, but eventually turns into just flat-out conversation about how you're going and how his day was. eventually, even, after learning your new friend's name, age, and pretty much entire life story (as he was so obviously willing to let you know), he offers a chair next to him. explains it away with the old "I just figured it'd be easier, considering you love to pick the songs yourself. plus, you can still go dance whenever you want to" excuse, though you would've been willing either way.

and he swears that was the best choice he's ever made. now, as he works, he has your lovely voice running off in the background. he doesn't mind if it's about a certain childhood snack you just remembered, an amusing conversation that you overheard at the coffee shop this morning, or even just pointing out pretty dresses in the club. he's just glad to hear your voice. similarly, he loves it when you get up to dance. because not only are you having fun, going out there and basically putting on a show for him, but also the way you return to him afterwards is immaculate. face red, hair slightly stuck to your forehead with sweat (on hotter nights), and out of breath in a way that he would oddly describe as hot.

because of this newfound connection, you've started staying at this club for longer and later. usually you leave when he does. this means that, by the last part of the night, you're absolutely knackered. you always end up somewhat half-asleep, leaning over and resting your tired head on his shoulder as you hug his arm. sometimes, when you fall asleep, he can even hear the softest snores or the tiniest murmurs. it's enough to make his heart melt.

just.... dj!simpbur

Hi yeah I need a full fic, 300k fic, strangers to friends to lovers trope fic, I NEED more content

On one hand I could create it, 😭, or two I can encourage you to continue writing and send more of your writing in!

BUT. LETTING YOU KNOW. RN.

I'm in love with this au

#anon asks #wipes answers #my lovely lurkers <33 #c: simpbur #au: dj #long ask #long post

49 notes · View notes

taikanyohou · 2 years

Note

[1/2] so i love codependency as a trope. the whole us-against-them, i-will-watch-the-world-burn-as-long-as-i-can-keep-you-safe thing really works for me. love it when two characters are like, i have ONE person, YOU are that person, fuck everything else. love it best when it’s acknowledged in-universe that it’s not quite healthy but they just do. not. give. a. shit. it’s my jam and i eat it by the spoonful.

so i love that akktheo are codependent, i love that akk is theo’s one and only person, i love that akk puts theo above everything and everyone else, even his own happiness, i love it because it’s 100% mutual, one is not more obsessed or more unhinged than the other, they match perfectly in their yearning and intensity. all they want is each other. all they need is each other. despite what akk thinks, theo has never and will never want anyone the way he wants akk. despite what theo fears, akk will never ever leave theo’s side unless theo himself asks it of him. they are it for each other

and yeah. some people might find it unappealing, unhealthy, toxic even. and that’s valid. codependency in real life is not romantic at all and it can be very damaging. but we all have tropes we don’t like. me? cannot stand power imbalances. not overly fond of enemy-to-lovers even though it’s probably one if not the most popular trope. but you know what? 1) no one forces me to consume content i dislike and 2) i don’t make assumptions about people based solely on the content they enjoy

[2/2] the other issue i think some people have with Enchanté is that it didn’t turn out to be what they expected. like, unlike what the trailer had led us to believe, it didn’t turn out to be a harem story where the boy lets himself be courted by his four suitors before realizing at the 11th hour that his pining bff was his One True Love all this time. i think most people were happily surprised by that. but then, some folks wanted it to be a journey of self-realization, of choosing reality over fantasy, of theo choosing akk over enchanté. but the reveal shattered all that. instead it turns out to be the story of a boy so lonely and so desperately in love that he does this one very stupid and selfish thing to keep the boy he loves by his side. and i can understand how some people would be put off by that, i do, but to me it’s chef’s kiss because friends-to-lovers is one thing. but true mutual pining? unhinged yet un-acted upon yearning? excruciating slow burn not because of contrived misunderstandings but because of a deep seated fear of losing the one person that matters the most? we don’t see that often. and perhaps for good reason, going by the many many people who find akktheo boring or frustrating or unrealistic. but me? it hits me where i live.

so anyway, this is the longest and most convoluted way to say that 1) you are not alone in your deeply unhinged love for akktheo and the equally messy and unhinged love they have for each other, and 2) you should not be made to feel bad or ashamed or guilty about it wtf. i love how much you love them because that’s how much i love them. i love coming to your blog to partake in this shared obsession. life is fucking hard, man. if these boys bring you joy and solace and a reprieve from reality then that’s great. that’s amazing. i want that for you. you fucking deserve it. - tee ♥️

hiiiiiiiii my love!!!

SHFBSICOAJ THIS ASK. CAN WE HANG THIS ASK IN THE LOUVRE.

like. HONESTLY. co-dependency like you said ISNT everyone's thing, bc it can get V V extreme sometimes. but i think the reason why i Get It with akktheo is bc ... they are CHILDHOOD BEST FRIENDS. they are ALL that they have. they are ALL that they have known. there's a whole other layer to it that being childhood best friends adds. and not only that. but they're NEIGHBOURS too. like. even when they dont wanna see each other, they still do. imagine being in love ... in THAT sense.

but yeah. i'm just SO glad that enchante went the way it did. i would have Not Liked it if theo had courted all 4 ambassadors and Then realised it was akk all along. by having it BE AKK as the ONLY ONE for theo from the START, where theo didnt give A Shit about any of the other 4, just makes it sooooo much more .... intense and sensical to me. like you SEE theo yearn, and then you find out he's enchante, and it hits that much more deeper. ALL THE WHILE as we see akk Go Through It too. its the pure ... mutual-ness of it all.

and i think. like. the thing is. theo in hindsight REALISES that it WAS a pretty stupid thing to do. he WASNT proud of it. there IS an acknowledgment on his part that this whole thing which was only meant to be a small in-house thing snowballed and snowballed and it spiralled. and i Love that theo .. ugh. i Love that theo is this MESSY character. i love it SO SO much bc of how it REMOVES HIM COMPLETELY from this first impression we have of him being this absolute Angel. i WANT messy. i LOVE messy.

anyway man like. idgaf what people have to say about me or anyone else liking enchante. we shouldnt be made to feel shitty or guilty about it. i'm just glad enchante isnt as Big as other gmmtv shows are bc honestly .... who needs that stress of fandom wars man when real life is So Damn Stressful as it is. so in a way im glad its lowkey and that it isnt ~everyone's cup of tea~ in whatever sense that may be (they find it boring or slow or book's french accent is bad or forcebook look too alike or that theo is a manipulative psycho or whatever). there's plenty of other shows out there to watch if you dont like enchante!

#faiza answers

19 notes · View notes

scmsdivinecultists · 3 years

Text

What your fave SCM god says about you

I read one psychology article and now I’m all knowing. Hope at least one of these points apply to you simps

If your favourite is Leon, you are one of the following:

Youngest child

Outcast or the “popular” kid

Daddy issues

Your childhood dream was either to be royalty or be rich

You hyperfixate to many things

You might say ur not charismatic but you’ve had at least more than 1 person you rejected a love confession to

“You’re wrong, I’m right, shut up.”

You don’t fall in love easily but once you do, you fall hard

You like smug bastards or you have a bondage fantasy

Your favourite voltage game is one of the following: Kissed by the Baddest Bidder, Court of Darkness, Masquerade’s Kiss, or Kings of Paradise

You have fairy lights in your room filled with pictures or posters

You had a massive friend group but at least 5 people have left from then to now

You cling onto memories like they’re a lifeline

You have the latest phone or more than 3 leisure electronics

If your favourite is Scorpio:

You can’t be any taller than 5′6

You probably listen to bands and can’t go anywhere without your headphones

Really creative

Your favourite Shakespeare play was Hamlet or Macbeth

Have had or is going through an emo phase

Hates writing essays

Have 3 best friends max

You have definitely bought albums, posters, or merch of your faves

ur probably a weeb

you’ve broken a bone or you’re very knowledgeable in the medical field/how to harm the human body for some reason

dark humour is the best humour

Your friends are very concerned for you because of said humour

You like watching people play Monopoly bc of the chaos

into so many fandoms that you know the lore of your faves more than you know the material you learn at school

If your favourite is Teorus:

You are an only or youngest child

Spoiled

Daddy/Mommy issues

Abandonment issues

You feel like you fade into the background/don’t contribute much to the group

You feel like you are often forgotten

You’re close with your cousins

You probably have a pet

Taylor Swift or 1D for life

Have definitely threatened to kill or beat someone up despite you intimidating no one

You want to play an important role but you are so not the leader type

You like Ouran Host Club

You like the outdoors

You probably like To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before

Your favourite disney princess is Rapunzel or Cinderella

If your favourite is Huedhaut:

You are definitely a romantic

You’re not an air sign (Gemini, Aquarius, or Libra)

You’re a moron or you make bad decisions and Hue is there to help balance that out

Chances are you read more fanfic than actual books

Your system is 70% caffeine

For some reason you have lots of random trivia

Have you considered therapy for your suppressed trauma?

Dungeons and Dragons fan

You’re really into alcohol or you despise it

Loyalty is the trait you admire most

You want to feel like a sassy and classy bitch but you gave up after 2 days

Your favourite ship trope is enemies to lovers or slow burn

A lot of pent up angst but you hide it

you put other people > yourself bc you don’t want them to make the same mistakes you did

Why do you have so many memes saved?

Why do you have reaction pictures for everything?

If your favourite is Dui:

You’re probably not into guys

FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT

Either you’re a precious sunshine child or you are the most fucked up human in your friend circle

You have a choking kink

You either take sides in fights or you’re the middle ground

You make lots of threats but no one is acc taking them seriously

You probably are a massive manipulator

You’re psychotic and have violent tendencies

Your best friend lives far away from you/ you have an internet friend that gets you more than your IRL ones

You say honesty is the best policy but you lie the most

Everyone comes to you for advice but you think you’re the most mentally unstable

You have identity issues and u change ur mind all the time

Whatever you were as a kid, you’re probably the opposite of that now

If your favourite is Ichthys:

You are attached to the characters with the most trauma

You must not be a clean freak or your room is equally as messy as Ikky’s

Oldest or middle child (either way u have siblings)

Never got to go to an amusement park as a kid

Want attention/didn't get enough attention as a kid

You want Ichthys’ parents to adopt u bc they are the family stability you crave

Unresolved trauma and definitely not mentally stable

You liked dinosaurs as a kid

You had pet fish as a kid and they all died bc you overfed them

Using anything else to escape ur reality

Cartoons > real life actors

Probably hate seafood or afraid of the sea (ironic as it is)

Nostalgia is your best friend

Hurt/Comfort is your favourite AO3 tag

You collect random shit or you have a memory box

You are the reason child leashes were invented

You got into real dangerous situations as a kid and you’re wondering how you lived through that

Your comfort characters all got it the worst or are dead

If your favourite is Zyglavis:

How are those high expectations treatin ya?

You either want to get into medical, sciences, or law

When you were younger you got enrolled in extra classes (swimming, piano, ballet, etc)

Your parents encouraged creativity until you got older and they told you to choose a more “realistic” goal

Good grades = everything and you’ll pull all-nighters to finish tasks or assignments

Former gifted student

The actual smart kid in class

YOU HAVE SELF ESTEEM/CONFIDENCE ISSUES

80s are not good enough for you or your parents

Overachiever for any reason

Sleep? What is sleep?

A dom or a brat

You have strict parents or you have had pretty loose rules growing up

You had a lot of friends in grade school and now you have like 4 friends

You are no longer human, you’re just a walking husk of stress

If your favourite is Krioff:

You want to fuck one of Krioff’s family members

You have siblings

A pyromaniac or deathly afraid of fire

Commitment issues

You watch or ur a sports fan

You own an iPhone 6

You’ve ate forbidden items or you’ve thought about it (the fish tank pebbles, erasers, glass, slime, etc)

Everyone thinks you’re the awkward kid but no you’re just shy

You actually like the ocean waves

Once people get to know you, they got a whole thing coming for them

You either suck at driving or can’t drive

A great listener but you don’t feel like you give good advice

Conflict is a no no for you

You definitely had a glow up

You’ve befriended the seniors growing up

You either don’t like kids or you love them

You have a sweet tooth and everyone questions how you are not diabetic with the amount of sweets you’ve consumed

If your favourite is Aigonorus:

You’re either an insomniac or a hypersomniac. Whichever one, you don’t know how much sleep is enough sleep

You’re probably a sub

Commitment or abandonment issues

Desperate for validation and appreciation

touch/love/attention starved

You have a stuffed animal collection or you still have those childhood stuffed animals

You love the idea of love but you are not ready to deal with breakups

You wish you didn’t care but you care too much

Your aesthetic is cutecore

Probably into maid cat boys

Studio Ghibli or Sanrio stan

Comfort > style anyday

You only own sneakers nothing else

If your favourite is Partheno:

You’re definitely not into just guys

You’re a drama kid and you are here for the tea whether it involves you or not

you have the receipts for everything

You were the one kid that played “family” or “house” every recess

no one knows where you get all your cute shit but it serves

have been suspected of witchcraft or considered the dark arts

Stole makeup from your fam as a kid and played with it

HIDE THE TRAUMA. HIDE THE PAST.

You already have a senior quote picked out

You’re either really horny or you just want to cry over how much you love so and so

“Why do men-”

You really want to own that Partheno doll in that one CG

Your most used social media app is Instagram or Snapchat

Your favourite demon brother from Obey Me is most likely Asmodeus

If your favourite is Tauxolouve:

Your favourite KBTBB guy is either Baba or Mamo

You’re into music or theatre

Your ideal date is to go to an opera or a museum

You say you like/dislike something but end up changing ur mind later or when you try it out

In your opinion, the music nowadays is just not it

You recently found a receipt from Walmart for something you bought 5 months ago

Anniversaries are important

When making decisions, you pick the worst possible one

Your most expensive clothing items are your shoes or jewelry

You wish you could attend a ball and marry into royalty, like Cinderella

You like the idea of soulmates or string of fate

Obviously or secretly insecure/self deprecating but you’ll raise all hell if your loved ones talk shit abt themselves

You want your partner to propose first

You like the underrated characters or your favourite characters are unappreciated

If your favourite is Karno you are:

You have childhood trauma, some of you are just not aware of it

You’re the parent of the group

You enjoy ships that have a mom/dad dynamic

Either you’re banned from the kitchen or you’re the one banning people from the kitchen

You were threated with the slipper or you threaten with the slipper

As a kid, you enjoyed Dora or Ni Hao Kai Lan

Your favourite trope is the found family trope

Either you’re an example to your family or you keep getting compared to other kids

An angel around the family but a chaotic bastard with others

You’re probably into some really kinky shit

You like Dangonronpa

Spiritual or religious

Probably had an imaginary friend

You decided you were gonna turn your life around after reading/watching something and went back to the hot mess you were in 3 days

155 notes · View notes

taegyuun · 3 years

Text

scared ice prince

requested by: @nico-nico-niki MWAH !!

genre: fluff, childhood best friends to enemies to lovers, angst-ish

warnings: swearing

word-count: 2.8k

ALRIGHTY LETS GET STARTED

as children you and sunghoon lived nowhere near each other

literally on the complete opposite sides of the town

so you may be asking “how did we meet”

now now

your friendship started in one place that was right smack dab in the centre of the town

the ice rink :D

both you and sunghoon started around the same time but you started just a tad earlier maybe like a week or two so y’know you already knew like the basics like how to tie your skates properly and what not

sunghoon did not

so this is how your friendship started !!

when he first came in he was this TINY tiny child literally the most adorable little thing baby baby <333

he was incredibly shy not shine tho and didn’t speak to anyone not even the instructor

and you could see that he was struggling to tie his skates so you walked over and crouched down before untying your own

he looked over curiously and you started showing him step by step how to do the basic knot so he could follow without even saying anything

and then you were basically inseparable LMFAOO

ik crazy how tying a skate lace can blossom such an incredible friendship

whenever the instructor asked to pair up for a skating assessment you two were already stuck together like glue

literally no one tried to separate you two bc they knew if they did, it’d either end in very LOUD tears or them having bruises

but like i said, you two lived on the opposite sides of the town and as little 8/9 year olds you couldn’t exactly venture out on your own and just walk to each other’s houses

so outside of the weekend figure skating practice, you two barely saw each other

your parents once in a while, maybe every two weeks, drove one of you to the others house so you could play and what not but you both had busy parents so it wasn’t always a constant routine y’know

but as you grew older you became more and more inseparable

like in middle school, you forced your parents to move you to his school so you two could be together which they actually agreed on but that’s only bc his school had better education-

and then in highschool everyone thought you were dating

even though you didn’t really potray any sort of skin ship other than smacking the other one across the head 💀

you two were just so close that everyone just assumed

oh and yes you both carried on your figure skating career !!!

when you entered high school that’s kinda when it got a lot more competitive

middle school, sure you both competed but it wasn’t really anything crazy

it wasn’t like a proper competition that you felt accomplished for winning - it felt more like child’s play

but now that you’re both almost adults- you went to actual tournaments and competed with other incredibly talented figure skaters

this also meant spending less time with sunghoon and more time at the ice rink

you were both incredibly passionate about the sport and it clouded both of your minds so much that it was bascially the only thing you would think about

you stayed at the same ice rink that you started at- the one in the centre of your town

while sunghoon transferred to a more “prestigious” one that was closer to the city

it’s not like you couldn’t afford it you just weren’t bothered to travel that far for the same schooling that you got here

you weren’t exactly sure why sunghoon transferred

i mean, the teachers taught you the exact same things in the same ways

you did have your suspicions of him not wanting you to see his practices bc you were both starting to compete against each other but if that was the case he could just have fully private lessons instead of lessons with you

you never really thought about it too much, you just focused on yourself and how well you were doing with the sport

the reason for sunghoon transferring was the exact reason that you guessed

he didn’t want you to see him practice.

sunghoon, well, ice skating was basically his whole life

it was his joy in this cruel world

and he loved it so much he forgot about anything else that was in the world because of it

it also made him forget about his best friend of the last decade...

he became incredibly competitive - especially when he was skating against you

he made it his priority to win every time but he tried even harder to win when you were in the tornament too

he wasn’t sure why but similarly to you, he didn’t bother thinking much about it especially when the sport was filling his thoughts so much

it’s like he almost had no time to think about anything but figure skating

it’s like he didn’t even want to think about anything but figure skating

so this is exactly why you two fell apart and became ‘enemies’

he basically lost all contact with you out of nowhere once you two started competing properly

you tried to reach him at school and whenever you had the time to see if something happened or if you did something

but he would always dismiss you or simply ignore you

you tried to get jake, your other best friend and the only person you knew who actually could talk to him, to get him to contact you

but every time jake got back to you it was a shrug and a “idk y/n, something got to him and he won’t listen to a single word i say... hes a completely changed person”

so yeah sunghoon turned into a dick in the span of a few months

it did hurt you

it hurt a lot

he was really one of your only friends who you were so tight-knit with that you felt like you could tell him anything

i mean - you were literally best friends for a decade!

you even contacted his parents and they were confused themsleves

your parents were even worried for him

but we move i guess we can’t be crying over some stupid boy in this household youre strong >:)

even though you two never spoke anymore, becuase of your shared friendship with jake, you two still saw each other frequently at school - especially at lunch

you would always catch him sneaking glances at you every time you laughed at something jake said or when you teased jay for some stupid things he said

jealous sunghoon????

but like i said WE MOVE !!! you did not pay him any attention at all and as you should bc the kid literally randomly dropped you for no reason at least that you were aware of

other than school lunches, you mainly saw him at competitions

and however much you disliked him for what he did, you could not deny that he was an incredibly talented skater

when he glided across the ice you could feel his happiness and how peaceful he felt even when doing intricate spins and jumps

and even though you knew you couldn’t, you felt happy for him

ok maybe you felt more than happy for him

you couldn’t deny the feelings that were present 😐✋

as much as you didn’t want to, you started falling for the boy you saw on ice because that same boy that was gliding so effortlessly inside the rink reminded you so much of the boy you used to once see and speak to everyday without any worries

but the second he stepped off the rink and met his eyes with yours your feelings instantly deflated

you then once again felt the same rage rushing through you at what he did to you

you were still waiting for an explanation as to what the fuck was going on

and everytime he stepped off the rink with the widest smile, his eyes would meet yours as if he was searching for you to see if you watched

but when he met your dejected and angry eyes, his smile would drop and let out a sigh

he was angry at himself for what he did to you

he was frustrated that some stupid sport had ruined the best thing that had ever happened to him in his whole life

he knew he was in love with you

he knew for so long

and maybe that’s the reason why he begged his parents to let him transfer to another ice rink

so he didn’t have to watch you gracefully skate across the ice and not have to worry about somehow fucking up and saying the wrong thing

he was scared of being in love with his best friend

becuase that trope either turns into an endless love or the everlasting sorrow of losing your best friend to dumb feelings

so instead he acted upon some MORE dumb feelings and locked you off from him

he tried hard, he really did

but he couldn’t stop thinking about you

he looked for you at every competition and for some reason, he always found you there even if you weren’t competing

in school he always looked for you and every time he said something stupid or said some sort of joke he was waiting for a smack on the back of his head or one of your incredibly ugly but somewhat endearing snorts

but that never came

however! something was present

you always tried to hide your smile by dropping you head and looking at the table during every lunch

or when you met his gaze you’d look away and pretend to be interested in the wall beside you

he knew that you felt something as well and it wasn’t just him

but he may have realised that a tad late

but i mean it wasn’t just him who was doing these things

you were also unconsciously looking around for him after every performance and during school to see if he was ok

now now how do you two become lovers you may ask?

i am getting to that now

funnily enough both of your instructors were siblings and they wanted their companies to partner up together and hold this one big performance for the end of the year

in that performance they wanted all of the skaters to skate individually and then two people to skate together in a “romantic” performance

they thought it was a cute way to start the year ok-

you can see where i’m going with this cant you 😼

and well bascially the way it was done

was they put everyone’s names in a hat and chose two out

sunghoon and arrabella

arrabella was some random ass girl from sunghoons ice rink you literally never saw her at the competitions but alright

you were secretly hoping to hear your name being called out and not so you could hold hands with sunghoon while skating 🙄

but bc you wanted him to finally speak to you one on one and tell you what the frick happened

arrabella was clearly a big fan of sunghoon as he almost passed away from hearing her name and his together

sunghoon looked quite disgusted ngl

so he walked up to the instructor and whispered something in his ear to which the instructor nodded at

you then watched as he dunked his hand in the hat again before pulling out another piece of paper

your name was called

you were like ????? bc wasnt it meant to be only two people performing??

and then they told everyone that you and arrabella were switching places bc she wasn’t fit for the performance

sunghoon didn’t actually tell the instructor to chose your name he just asked him to chose another person bc he knew all she’s do was gush over him instead of actually learning rhe perfomance

but yes he secretly hoped you’d be chosen and TA DA !!!!

so you stand up and skate over to where sunghoon was standing as the instructor shows you the video that you were going to recreate

it involved a lot of waist grabbing, hand holding and touches.

let’s just say you had to take a few deep breaths

you and sunghoon haven’t properly spoken for the past few months and we’re almost at the brink of hating each other but now you have to do this ??? good lord give me strength

but in all honesty you both put your feelings aside when it came to practice bc you didn’t want to disappoint your instructors and wanted to make a nice perfomance for everyone

so every time you had practice with sunghoon you put your professional game face on and just did what you had to do

trying to ignore his large hands on your waist or the way hes softly but tightly hold your hand when you had to do some sort of spin

and alas

the day came of the perfomance and up until then both of you barely said anything to each other, only minor things that helped the other improve in the dance

after the whole perfomance happened and everyone was finished, you both received a lot of praise for such a stunning show from literally everyone

the most frequent comment you got was “wow! your chemistry was indescribable,,, that was the most beautiful relationship i had ever witnessed” and you’d just look at each other like “uh-“

so you both stayed behind to collect some things that you got given and well

you both figured it was time to finally speak about what was going on

“so i-“

“do you mind-“

he lets you speak first wow what a gentleman 😐

“so do you mind telling me what the fuck this was all about? you randomly dropped me and acted as if i didn’t exist yet you always looked for me during your competitions or at lunch?? sunghoon, i don’t know what i did wrong but please for the love of god tell me what is going on we can’t keep acting like this”

sunghoon just started at the ice quite dejectedly

he had this whole speech to say to you that was a whole apology and also a confession but for some reason it completely slipped his mind the second he faced you

he didn’t even realise how much time passed as you started to turn around and slowly skate away after saying “if you’re not going to speak to me i’m leaving”

well obviously mr. park had to get his shit sorted out so he quickly skated to you and grabbed your wrist wow what a classic move

you turned around and huffing looking down at his hand on your wrist before looking back up at him as to say “what now”

so now it’s time for his explanation wow took you long enough

“ok first of all i’m so fucking sorry y/n idk why i did this i think it’s because i was scared to be in love with you and i didn’t want to ruin our friendship with some stupid feelings but instead i did exactly that and instead of actually having the weight off my shoulders for you finally knowing i just had more put on because i ruined what we had in the worst way possible and i know this is an incredibly shitty apology, if you can even call it that, but it’s been so hard without you i’m so frustrated at myself for doing this i just wish i cou-“

then he felt your lips on his

oh my god he burnt up so much at the contact he thought the ice beneath him would meltn

he obviously kissed back and you felt relieved that it was the right decision to do

as you pulled back you said “i forgive you and i love you too but pull that shit on me one more time and i’m burrying you in ice.” and then kiss him again <3

after that sunghoon decided to move back to the old ice rink so the same one youre in and oh my god

the relief everyone felt when they saw you and sunghoon back together all happy and smiley and giggles and sunshine’s and what not

every time jake sees you two he internally sighs and thanks whatever is up there for giving him his friends back - sure a little more lovey dovey but they were back

YOU DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND THE RELIEF BOTH OF YOUR PARENTS FELT-

i mean they knew you’d end up together at some point it was painfully obvious but still-

and you lived happily ever after

the end

293 notes · View notes

my-bated-breath · 4 years

Text

Research Shows that Zutara Would Have Been the Ideal Friends to Lovers Dynamic

(featured below: a very self-indulgent Zutara post that uses Facts and Evidence to be self-indulgent)

When I joined the ATLA fandom, a common trend I've seen used to discredit Zutara was the belief that upon transitioning from a platonic relationship to a romantic one, Zuko and Katara would immediately become The Worst (TM) for each other. It's quite the stretch, and the Zutara fandom nearly unanimously recognizes that. Still, since the attacks have yet to cease even 15 years after the show’s first release, I'd like to add my two-cents on the subject, along with a reference to actual research that is much harder to dismiss.

The reason why Zutara is framed as a “toxic and unhealthy” relationship is that their romance would be a classic example of the enemies-to-lovers trope, a trope which modern media has not been particularly kind to. However, when executed correctly, enemies-to-lovers can produce a healthy and loving relationship, frequently relying on friendship as an intermediate between the “enemy” and “lover” stages in the most well-executed versions of this trope. Meanwhile, the trope of friends-to-lovers is just as popular as enemies-to-lovers, though the specific dynamic required between two individuals to achieve this transition is not well-known. Recognizing this, Laura K. Guerrero and Paul A. Mongeau, both of whom are involved in relationship-related research as professors at Arizona State University, wrote a research paper on how friendships may transition into romantic relationships.

While “On Becoming ‘More Than Friends: The Transition From Friendship to Romantic Relationship” covers a variety of aspects regarding how friends may approach a budding romantic relationship, this meta will focus on the section titled “The Trajectory from Platonic Friendship to Romantic Relationship,” which describes stages of intimacy that are in common between platonic and romantic relationships.

(I am only using this one source for my meta because as much as I love research and argumentative writing, I can only give myself so much more school work before I break. If you wish to see more sources that corroborate the argument from above, refer to the end of this meta at the “Works Cited.”)

According to Guerrero and Mongeau, “...scholars have argued that intimacy is located in different types of interactions, ranging from sexual activity and physical contact to warm, cozy interactions that can occur between friends, family members, and lovers…” Guerrero and Mongeau then reference a relationship model where the initial stages (i.e. perceiving similarities, achieving rapport, and inducing self-disclosure) reflect platonic/romantic intimacy through communication while the latter stages (i.e. role-taking, achieving interpersonal role fit, and achieving dyadic crystallization) often see both individuals as achieving a higher level of intimacy that involves more self-awareness.

Definitions, because some terminology in this quote is field-specific:

_____

Perception of similarity: (similar in background, values, etc.) which contributes to pair rapport

Pair rapport: produces positive emotional and behavioral responses to the partner, promotes effective communication and instills feelings of self-validation

Self-disclosure: a process of communication by which one person reveals information about themselves to another. The information can be descriptive or evaluative and can include thoughts, feelings, aspirations, goals, failures, successes, fears, and dreams, as well as one's likes, dislikes, and favorites.

Role-taking: ability to understand the partner's perspective and empathize with his/her role in the interaction and the relationship

Role-fit: partners assess the extent of their similarities in personality, needs, and roles

Dyadic crystallization: partners become increasingly involved with each other and committed to the relationship and they form an identity as a committed couple

_____

(Source: Quizlet -- not the most reliable source, I know, but once again field-specific terms tend to be ubiquitous in their definitions, and I doubt that this Quizlet can be that inaccurate)

(Additional note: only the first three definitions will be relevant to this meta, but the other definitions are left in for all of you who want to speculate what the next part of this meta, which may or may not be published the following week, will be about.)

Let’s apply what we just learned back to the real Zuko-Katara relationship we see throughout the show. What attributes of healthy and natural friends-to-lovers dynamics may they check off?

Perceiving similarities:

Zuko and Katara share an astounding number of parallels in background and character throughout the show. Both their mothers had sacrificed their lives to save them, and then there are many deliberate parallels drawn between Zuko and Katara’s confrontations in the Day of Black Sun and The Southern Raiders, respectively. Of course, there are more, but since I do not have much to add to this subject, I’ll say that perceiving these similarities helps contribute to…

Pair rapport:

We see three standout examples of this from the show in which Zuko and Katara “make positive emotional and behavioral responses” towards each other: In the Crossroads of Destiny, the Southern Raiders, and Sozin's Comet, Part 2: The Old Masters.

(1) Crossroads of Destiny. Zuko and Katara bond over the loss of their mothers in the Crystal Catacombs, allowing themselves to truly see the other for the first time as well as for them to speak civilly and intimately (is this self-disclosure I see?) with each other. Of course, their conversation (on-screen or off-screen) is meaningful enough for Katara to offer to use the Spirit Oasis water to heal Zuko’s scar.

(2) The Southern Raiders. The journey Zuko and Katara take for her to achieve closure (which is something Zuko himself knew was necessary to heal and grow) is the catalyst for Katara forgiving Zuko. Though there is no true “rapport” in the scene where Katara forgives him, all other banter/conversations (in the Ember Island Players and the ATLA finale) between Katara and Zuko are reliant on the moment she forgives him.

(3) Sozin's Comet, Part 2: The Old Masters. In the finale, Zuko experiences a moment of uncertainty before just before he faces his uncle -- his uncle who had always been there for him since the days of his banishment, his uncle had loved him unconditionally even when Zuko did not know that such love was possible, his uncle who loved him like his own son, his uncle who he betrayed in the Crystal Catacombs, his uncle who turned away when he was encased in crystal, too disappointed to look him in the eye. He tells this to Katara -- and what does Katara say to Zuko in response?

“Then he'll forgive you. He will.”

The dialogue speaks for itself. The positive emotional response, the open communication, and the (rightful) encouragement Katara provides, all without invalidating Zuko’s self-doubt, demonstrates the epitome of pair rapport. Further elaboration would simply be me gushing over their dynamic.

Self-disclosure:

Self-disclosure involves revealing intimate feelings. We’re revisiting the same three episodes that we covered up above since they all include self-disclosure.

(1) The Crossroads of Destiny. When he reaches out in the Crystal Catacombs, Zuko reveals something to Katara that he has never told anyone before, perhaps something he didn’t even want to admit to himself -- in response to “the Fire Nation took my mother away from me” he says “that's something we have in common.” And to say that out loud, to say it to himself and Katara when for three whole years he’s been trying to convince himself that the Fire Nation is good and that his father loves him -- there are no words to describe it. It’s both awe-inspiring and heartbreaking to see that Zuko and Katara’s shared pain is what allowed them to see each other as more than the “face of the enemy,” and it’s something so poignant that it forms an immediately profound connection between the two.

(2) The Southern Raiders. On their way to the Fire Nation communications tower on Whale Tail Island, Katara tells the story of her mother’s death, a story that has haunted her memories for years, looming over her as a ghost, a wound that festers into fear to grief to anger. This was the moment that divided Katara’s life into the Before and the After, the one that forced her to abandon childhood and to become a mother to her own brother (as implied by Sokka in his conversation with Toph in the Runaway). And yet this is the first time we see her tell someone her story in the show, full and vivid as if it happened yesterday. Because even though she mentioned her mother before to Aang, Haru, and Jet in order to sympathize with them -- it’s just that. Sympathizing. This time she tells Zuko about her mother’s death for her own sake rather than for another’s. And it’s an incredibly intimate moment, one that is made even more fragile, wrenching, and beautiful by Zuko’s response -- “Your mother was a brave woman.”

(3) Sozin's Comet, Part 2: The Old Masters. Throughout the second half of season 3, Zuko shares his love and insecurities regarding Iroh to every member of the GAang.

In the Firebending Masters, he mentions to Aang offhandedly -- and perhaps too offhandedly, as if he didn’t want to believe it himself -- that Iroh, Dragon of the West, received his honorary title for killing the last dragon.

An episode later in part one of the Boiling Rock, Zuko talks about his uncle with near constancy. He brews tea for the GAang and (endearingly) tries retelling “Uncle’s favorite tea joke.” He tells Sokka, “Hey, hold on. Not everyone in my family is like that… I meant my uncle. He was more of a father to me. And I really let him down.” He (fails at, adorably) giving advice to Sokka when the rescue mission to the Boiling Rock has begun to look helpless, asking himself “what would Uncle say?” before completely floundering away.

Then, in the Ember Island Players, he shares a sweet moment with Toph, bitterly spitting out that

“...for me, [the play] takes all the mistakes I've made in my life, and shoves them back in my face. My uncle, he's always been on my side, even when things were bad. He was there for me, he taught me so much, and how do I repay him? With a knife in his back. It's my greatest regret, and I may never get to redeem myself.”

Toph, in turn, reveals the thoughtful side to her character, the side that is almost always hidden, telling Zuko that “you have redeemed yourself to your uncle. You don't realize it, but you already have.”

And every one of these moments matter, because we see Zuko’s inner conflict (though this inner conflict does not exist to the extent at which it did at the first half of season 3) and its evolution. First, with Aang, he remains skeptical and disillusioned. Second, with Sokka, his longing for Iroh’s love and presence manifests itself in him imitating his uncle as well as he can. Third, with Toph, he finally admits everything he had been afraid of ever since he saw Iroh’s empty prison cell during the eclipse -- that Iroh is disappointed in him. That Iroh hates him. That Iroh will never accept him again.

And for a moment, with Toph’s encouraging response and Zuko’s resulting little smile, it appears as though Zuko’s internal conflict arc is concluded. But we are wrong -- because in the finale of the show, we are given the true climax and resolution to Zuko’s insecurities, fears, and self-loathing. And who is it that he shares this moment with?

It speaks volumes about Zuko and Katara’s relationship that Katara is the one to comfort Zuko in this scene, in that last moment of hesitation right before he steps inside his uncle’s tent, preparing himself to see his uncle as a completely changed person. As a person who now knows humility and unconditional love. And remember -- selecting Katara to be in this scene is a deliberate narrative choice because ATLA was written by a team of producers and writers, and perhaps even if it wasn’t, it becomes a powerful moment in which Zuko’s arc with Iroh reaches its peak.

Simply having Katara there in this scene already has such a great narrative impact, but then the show gives us some of the most intimate dialogue that Zuko, a naturally closed-off person, delivers (although his emotional outbursts may suggest otherwise, Zuko tends to hide most of his internally conflicting feelings to himself. Hence, he is always able to dramatically monologue about his honor, his country, and his throne -- because he’s trying to convince himself to play a part. But that’s another meta for another day).

Let’s begin by comparing Toph and Zuko’s dialogue with Katara and Zuko’s dialogue because both see the other party validating Zuko’s feelings.

(Warning: the following section plunges deep into the realm of speculation and overanalyzing dialogue. Regarding literature or any media, there are countless ways to interpret the source material, and this is simply one way it could be done.)

_____

Ember Island Players Dialogue:

Toph: Geez, everyone's getting so upset about their characters. Even you seem more down than usual, and that's saying something!

Zuko: You don't get it, it's different for you. You get a muscly version of yourself, taking down ten bad guys at once, and making sassy remarks.

Toph: Yeah, that's pretty great!

Zuko: But for me, it takes all the mistakes I've made in my life, and shoves them back in my face. My uncle, he's always been on my side, even when things were bad. He was there for me, he taught me so much, and how do I repay him? With a knife in his back. It's my greatest regret, and I may never get to redeem myself.

_____

Although Toph and Zuko’s dynamic is one of the most innocent and understanding throughout the show, the conversation begins with Toph joking with a negative connotation -- that “even [Zuko seemed] more down than usual, and that’s saying something!” Thus, the conversation opener is not one that allows for Zuko to easily be emotionally vulnerable, and so he responds bitterly and angrily -- “You don’t get it, it’s different for you” and “...and how do I repay him? With a knife in his back.” By stating that their portrayals in the shows were different, Zuko mentally places a wall between himself and Toph, saying that “[Toph doesn’t] get it.” Then, the rhetorical question Zuko asks himself and the shortness with which he answers the question showcases a forceful and biting tone, indicating that he is covering up his inner turmoil with vehemence. This tendency is something we’ve seen Zuko default to before, whenever he had shouted the oft-mocked “I must restore my honor!” lines in response to a few introspective questions Iroh had asked (though once again, that’s another meta for another day). Now, let’s examine the remainder of their conversation.

_____

Ember Island Players Dialogue Continued:

Toph: You have redeemed yourself to your uncle. You don't realize it, but you already have.

Zuko: How do you know?

Toph: Because I once had a long conversation with the guy, and all he would talk about was you.

Zuko: Really?

Toph: Yeah, and it was kind of annoying.

Zuko: Oh, sorry.

_____

Here we see Toph and Zuko’s conversation take a more serious turn as Toph becomes more sincere. Zuko, however, is still full of self-doubt as he is constantly questioning Toph with “how do you know?” and “really” and “oh, sorry.”

(featured up above: Zuko looking dejected and doubtful.)

Still, the conversation ends on a sweet and inspiring note:

_____

Ember Island Players Dialogue Continued:

Toph: But it was also very sweet. All your uncle wanted was for you to find your own path, and see the light. Now you're here with us. He'd be proud.

_____

Hence, though Zuko and Toph’s conversation displays a heartening and hopeful dynamic, Zuko is ultimately still guarded for the majority of their conversation. Now, let’s look at how Katara approaches Zuko in the Sozin’s Comet, Part 2: The Old Masters.

_____

Sozin’s Comet, Part 2: The Old Masters Dialogue:

Katara: Are you okay?

Zuko: No, I'm not okay. My uncle hates me, I know it. He loved and supported me in every way he could, and I still turned against him. How can I even face him?

Katara: Zuko, you're sorry for what you did, right?

Zuko: More sorry than I've been about anything in my entire life.

_____

In direct contrast to the conversation opener with Toph, Katara begins to engage Zuko with an openly concerned question. And even though Katara never disappointed an Iroh-figure in her life in the way Zuko has, Zuko immediately doesn’t close himself off from her, he doesn’t create a wall that prevents him from revealing his deepest fears to her. During this scene, he neither sounds bitter or angry -- he sounds lost, doubtful, and afraid (perhaps even afraid to hope). This shift in tone is blatant in his voice (thanks to Dante Basco’s line delivery) but even with nothing but the written dialogue, we can note the difference in which he describes his turmoil to Toph and as compared to Katara:

With Toph: “But for me, it takes all the mistakes I've made in my life, and shoves them back in my face. My uncle, he's always been on my side, even when things were bad. He was there for me, he taught me so much, and how do I repay him? With a knife in his back. It's my greatest regret, and I may never get to redeem myself.”

With Katara: “No, I'm not okay. My uncle hates me, I know it. He loved and supported me in every way he could, and I still turned against him. How can I even face him?”

With Katara, the underlying bitterness from his conversation with Toph is toned down to the point of nonexistence, though a part of it is still there. With Toph, Zuko says, “it takes all the mistakes I’ve made in my life, and shoves them back in my face,” which is a rather incensed statement. Meanwhile, by saying, “no, I'm not okay. My uncle hates me, I know it,” Zuko directly addresses his self-loathing without the use of language such as “shoves them back in my face,” the latter of which is reminiscent of how individuals may unthinkingly reveal information in a sudden emotional outburst.

Then, when Katara asks him if he’s sorry for what he did, the words come easily to Zuko, the most easily he admits to his own mistakes after three years of not admitting anything truthful to himself: “More sorry than I've been about anything in my entire life.”

And Katara, just as Toph did, says with the utmost confidence and sincerity, “Then he'll forgive you. He will.”

This moment of affirmation that runs parallel between both dialogues is where Zuko’s responses begin to diverge. Whereas Zuko reacts to Toph with disbelief and doubt, this is how he reacts once he hears Katara’s words:

He takes Katara’s words to heart and accepts them. Because out of all the GAang, Katara is the one who knows the most about forgiving him, who most keenly feels the change he underwent since his betrayal in the catacombs. And so he stands, still nervous but no longer afraid, facing forward towards the future instead of back into his past.

Iroh and Zuko’s relationship is one of the most important ones throughout the entire show, so to see Katara play a pivotal role in a critical point in their dynamic shows just how important Katara’s character is to Zuko (and vice versa, though in here I do touch upon the former in more detail).

Although my analysis on the self-disclosure between Zuko and Katara may have run away from me a bit (due to my love for far-too-in-depth critical analysis), these all show an undeniable bond between Zuko and Katara, displaying a profound friendship rooted in narrative parallels, mutual understanding, and interwoven character arcs. Ultimately, their fulfillment of perceived similarities, pair rapport, and (the one I rambled most on) self-disclosure is what establishes Zuko and Katara as not just a strong platonic bond -- but one that has the potential to transition into a romantic one.

Thus concludes my essay on Zutara’s friendship and its connection with the initial stages of intimacy that are shared between both platonic and romantic bonds. After all that analysis, it would be remiss to simply dismiss the Zutara dynamic as one that would instantly become toxic should they pursue a romantic relationship.

That being said, I will explore the possibility of a romantic relationship between Zuko and Katara and how this connects to the latter stages of intimacy -- role-taking, interpersonal role fit, and dyadic crystallization -- in part 2 of this meta-analysis. Click on the link if you want to read it!

Part 2

Works Cited

(only partially in MLA 8 format because I want to live a little)

Close Relationships: A Sourcebook. By Clyde A. Hendrick & Susan S. Hendrick. Link

“Nonverbal behavior in intimate interactions and intimate relationships.” By P.A Andersen, Laura K. Guerrero, & Susanne M. Jones. Link

“On Becoming ‘More Than Friends’: The Transition From Friendship to Romantic Relationship.” By Laura K. Guerrero & Paul A. Mongeau. Link

The Psychology of Intimacy (The Guilford Series on Personal Relationships). By Karen J. Prager. Link

(If you check some of these links, you may note a few of these sources have been cited quite a few times. With just a bit more research, it appears possible to find a plethora of other sources to corroborate the theory of shared platonic-romantic intimacies.)

Thank you all for reading!

#atla #atla meta #zutara #zutara meta #my bated breath analyzes #research on relationship intimacy #influenced by academic writing #i have more metas coming soon #but until then you can find that i do other writing as well #like fanfiction #check out my fanfiction on the My Writing tab on my blog #please like and reblog to prove Zutara with Facts and Evidence everyone #my bated breath's posts

469 notes · View notes

shellyb04 · 3 years

Text

And here we are, all caught up. You'll notice I fell into a bit of a Chinese drama and historical hole for these last ones! I will try to post as I finish shows so I can give a bit more of a review. Enjoy!

A love so romantic (Cdrama)-Girl pretends to be a long lost granddaughter of the Gu family and falls for the Gu family heir. 8/10 Very funny. The last ten episodes get a bit annoying with dumb amnesia and such, but overall really funny main couple.

The Greatest Love (Kdrama)-An A-list movie star with a heart condition meets former girl group member and now most disliked celebrity. Against all odds, he falls for her. 9/10 This is extremely funny and a bit tropey, but it gets major bonus points for the ending. There's no crazy amnesia or unreasonable misunderstandings. Their dilemma at the end makes sense and wasn't dragged out for too long. There was a bit in the middle where she was trying to reject him that dragged for me and I didn't like the other girl group members very much. But overall, really fun.

The Rebel Princess (Cdrama)-A princess is forced to marry a general turned prince instead of her childhood sweetheart prince. They ultimately fall for each other and endure war, kidnapping, betrayal, and every other kind of misfortune that can happen in a historical drama. 9/10 This drama was refreshing because the couple was so amazing together. They were kind as well as cunning. They were the only characters not seeking power and I just loved the way they worked. It does get a little draggy during some of the palace politics. I also think some of the villians didn't think through their plans. But overall, the leads made the show. Although there are some genuinely heartbreaking moments and too many women committing suicide.

Love Script (Cdrama)- A CEO gets into an accident and believes he's a Prince from the Ming Dynasty. A psychologist is hired and she becomes part of the palace staff in order to treat him. But she begins to fall for him. 8/10 I liked all the characters. It's a really light show and there's a couple of plot twists that ultimately made the lead romance work for me. There were a few too many flashbacks and I found myself skipping through them a lot.

A Girl Like Me (Cdrama)- Ban Hua has three failed engagements, partially because of her blunt manner and explosive temper. She begins getting visions of the future and uses them to save her family from trouble, along with Rong Xia who has his own agenda...but will he be distracted by Ban Hua!? 8.5/10 I really liked this one. The story moved along rather quickly. I love that the Ban family are perfectly happy in their little sphere of life. They adore each other and simply want their family to be happy. The only real negatives are that I don't think some of the villain plots made sense especially toward the end and I thought the last two episodes should have wrapped up the story not made more characters power hungry and foolish. Overall, I really liked it, especially Ban Hua and Rong Xia's banter and courtship.

My little happiness (Cdrama)-An intern lawyer and a successful neurosurgeon who were childhood sweethearts meet again as adults only she never knew his name. Watch the duo fall in love. 8/10 This is a pleasant little ditty with no big problems. The relationship between the main girl and her best friend feels super real to me. I love both main couples. It's a simple sweet sappy love story. There's never any doubt how it will end so just enjoy the sweetness.

Oh! My Sweet Liar! (Cdrama)-Historical- A female painter infiltrates the home of a noble family to paint a copy of a precious item. When her escape goes wrong, she fakes a pregnancy by the family heir to save her life. They make a contract marriage so he can escape an arranged marriage he doesn't want. But there are secrets and plotting people throughout the family home. 8.5/10 I really liked the majority of the show. It was a bit slow the second arc of the show and really the last three eps could have been a bit more streamlined, but I loved the Li family. It was so nice to see the love between the family.

Shopaholic Louis (Kdrama)- A wealthy heir gets amnesia and is found by a poor country girl newly arrived in Seoul to look for her brother. The two fall for each other while searching together. 8.5/10 Super cute. I loved the main couple the whole way through. The side characters grew on me as well. It was a nice sweet story overall.

Love in Time-Cdrama- Writer and a CEO were friends in Jr high but had a falling out. Present day they enter a contract marriage. 8/10 A point bump for 30 minute episodes. The story was sweet and simple with a few pleasant turns. The last episode is a bit dumb. I would've rather just had more epilogue than a faked amnesia plot. I liked the side friendships, but wish the "villain" had a better motivation. Just " I loved him and worked hard for him so he should be mine" obsession got old. The tropes were in full display so avoid if you hate those.

Love and Destiny-Cdrama- A young immortal wanders into the wrong place and awakens the God of War. He discovers a secret about her even she doesn't know. The two fall in love, but bad things happen. Can they overcome destiny with love? 7/10- This one seemed to be a bit long at 60 episodes and it took WAY too long to get started. But by episode 14 or 15 I was completely into the love story and most of the side characters. The two "villains" were annoying but ultimately I understood their choices even if I felt they were immature. Overall, it's good, but a little too slow in some places and the last ten episodes could have given me some more couple moments.

Divorce lawyer in love (Kdrama)- She's a tough as nails divorce lawyer and he's her office manager until she goes to far in a case and her license is suspended. Three years later she's the office manager and he's the lawyer and he sees his chance for some payback.. Enemies to friends to lovers. 8/10 It has its funny moments. I enjoy most of the "case of the week" stories. I thought the resolution to the main antagonist was a bit hand wavy, but overall, solid and enjoyable with mostly fun side characters.

The Sword and the Brocade (Cdrama)- A concubine's daughter marries a Marquis in an arranged marriage. She has to deal with conniving concubines, controlling mother and mother-in-law, as well as a family that doesn't want her around, and a rival family all while trying to continue her embroidery career. 7.5/10 Started out fairly strong but toward the end it felt really drawn out. I feel like the last two plots should have been more combined cause it really dragged the pace of the show down. The characters were good. I liked most of the characters a lot, but a few began to make weird decisions toward the end.

The Eternal Love (Cdrama)- Modern woman sucked to alternate past where she has to share her doppelganger's body. The two with the help of their maid try to figure out what's going on. But things are complicated as each soul is in love with a different prince.,-6/10 The story is okay, although the last four episodes are weird. Chemistry with the leads is fabulous. Really not great production quality. I couldn't get through Season 2.

Eternal Love/Ten Miles of Peach Blossom (Cdrama)- Bai Qian and Ye Hua are star crossed immortals who fall in love in three different but intertwined lives. 9.5/10 Started off slow, then got wonderful about ep 10, then pain and misery for a few eps before back to joy and falling in love and back to pain. But one of the best revenge scenes by Bai Qian! I sort of hated that basically every other couple seems doomed. I tried to watch the pillow book before this and just got bored. I may go back to it someday as I love that couple.

General's Lady (Cdrama)- independent noble sent to marry the "demon" general at the border only to fall in love with him. However there are factions trying to harm them. 9/10 Super light and sweet with lots of kisses. I got a bit bored a little past the middle of the drama when they went back to the capital. But the last several episodes brought me back around and I laughed out loud multiple times. Love all the couples throughout and how it showed there were multiple ways to be a strong woman.

#kdrama #cdrama #A love so romantic #The greatest love #the rebel princess #Love script #A girl like me #My little happiness #Oh! My sweet Liar!#shopaholic louis #love in time #love and destiny #divorce lawyer in love #the sword and the brocade #the eternal love #tmopb #eternal love #General's Lady

19 notes · View notes

dangermousie · 3 years

Note

Heelo mousie! Love your blog! Do you mind recommending some of your favourite Chinese BL novels or shows?

I've seen the untamed and read it. I'm currently reading heaven's official blessing and I saw the donghua. Anything other than these two?

Awww, thank you!

Novels: I am gonna be lazy and literally copy/paste the entire danmei section of my top 10 web novels post (except MXTX’s stuff since you are already reading it.) Let me know if you need help finding any of these.

Lord Seventh - I am only partway through this so far, but it’s already on the list because it’s smart and somehow intense AND laid-back (not sure how this works, but it does) and is honestly just a really really solid and smart period novel, with the OTP a cherry on top of a narrative sundae. Plus, I love the concept of MC deciding he is not going for his supposedly fated love - he’s tried for six lifetimes, always with disaster, and he’s just plain done and tired. When he opens his life in his seventh reincarnation and sees the person he would have given up the world for, he genuinely feels nothing at all. (Spoiler - his OTP is actually a barbarian shaman this time around, thank you Lord!)

Golden Stage - my perfect comfort novel. Probably the least angsty of any danmei novel on this list (which still means plenty angsty :P) It also has a dedicated, smart OTP that is an OTP for the bulk of the book - I think you will notice that in most of the novels in this list, I go for “OTP against the world” trope - I can’t stand love triangles and the same. Anyway, Fu Shen, is a famous general whose fame is making the emperor antsy. When he gets injured and can’t walk any more, the emperor gladly recalls him and marries him off to his most faithful court lackey, the head of sort of secret police, Yan Xiaohan. The emperor intends it both as a check on the general and a general spite move since the two men always clash in court whenever they meet. But not all is at is seems. They used to be friends a long time ago, had a falling out, and one of the loveliest parts of the novel is them finding their way to each other, but there is also finding the middle path between their two very different philosophies and ways of being, not to mention solving a conspiracy or dozen, and putting a new dynasty on the throne, among other things. It always makes me think, a little, of “if Mei Changsu x Jingyan were canon.”

Sha Po Lang - if you like a lot of fantasy politics and world-building and steampunk with your novels, this one is for you. This one is VERY plot-heavy with smart, dedicated characters and a deconstruction of many traditional virtues - our protagonist Chang Geng, a long-lost son of the Emperor, is someone who wants to modernize the country but also take down the current emperor his brother for progress’ sake and the person he’s in love with is the general who saved him when he was a kid who is nominally his foster father. Anyway, the romance is mainly a garnish in this one, not even a big side dish, but the relationship between two smart, dedicated, deadly individuals with very different concepts of duty is fascinating long before it turns romantic. And if you like angst, while overall it’s not as angsty as e.g., Meatbun stuff, Chang Geng’s childhood is the stuff of nightmares and probably freaks me out more than anything else in any novel on this list, 2ha included.

To Rule In a Turbulent World (LSWW) - gay Minglan. No seriously. This is how I think of it. it’s a slice of life period novel with fascinating characters and setting that happens to have a gay OTP, not a romance in a period setting per se and I always prefer stories where the romance is not the only thing that is going on. It’s meticulously written and smart and deals with character development and somehow makes daily minutia fascinating. Our protagonist, You Miao, is the son of a fabulously wealthy merchant, sent to the capital to make connections and study. As the story starts, he sees his friend’s servants beating someone to death, feels bad, and buys him because, as we discover gradually and organically, You Miao may be wealthy and occasionally immature but he is a genuinely good person. The person he buys is a barbarian from beyond the wall, named Li Zhifeng. It’s touch and go if the man will survive but eventually he does and You Miao, who by then has to return home, gives him his papers and lets him go. However, LZF decides to stick with You Miao instead, both out of sense of debt for YM saving his life and because he genuinely likes him (and yet, there is no instalove on either of their parts, their bodies have fun a lot quicker than their souls.) Anyway, the two take up farming, get involved in the imperial exams and it’s the life of prosperity and peace, until an invasion happens and things go rapidly to hell. This is so nuanced, so smart (smart people in this actually ARE!) and has secondary characters who are just as complex as the mains (for example, I ended up adoring YM’s friend, the one who starts the plot by almost beating LZF to death for no reason) because the novel never forgets that few people are all villain. There is a lovely character arc or two - watching YM grow up and LZF thaw - there is the fact that You Miao is a unicorn in web novels being laid back and calm. This whole thing is a masterpiece.

Stains of Filth (Yuwu) - want the emotional hit of 2ha but want to read something half its length? Well, the author of 2ha is here to eviscerate you in a shorter amount of time. This has the beautiful world-building, plot twists that all make sense and, at the center of it all, an intense and all-consuming and gloriously painful relationship between two generals - one aristocratic loner Mo Xi, and the other gregarious former slave general Gu Mang. Once they were best friends and lovers, but when the novel starts, Gu Mang has long turned traitor and went to serve the enemy kingdom and has now been returned and Mo Xi, who now commands the remnants of his slave army, has to cope with the fact that he has never been able to get over the man who stabbed him through the heart. Literally. This novel has a gorgeously looping structure, with flashbacks interwoven into present storyline. There is so much love and longing and sacrifice in this that I am tearing up a bit just thinking of it. If you don’t love Mo Xi and Gu Mang, separately and together, by the end of it, you have no soul.

The Dumb Husky and His White Cat Shizun (2ha/erha) - if you’ve been following my tumblr for more than a hot second, you know my obsession with this novel. Honestly, even if I were to make a list of my top 10 novels of any kind, not just webnovels, this would be on the list. It has everything I want - a complicated, intricate plot with an insane amount of plot twists, all of which are both unexpected and make total sense, a rich and large cast of characters, a truly epic OTP that makes me bawl, emotional intensity that sometimes maxes even me out and so much character nuance and growth. Also, Moran is my favorite web novel character ever, hands down.

Anyway, the plot (or at least the way it first appears) is that the evil emperor of the cultivation world, Taxian Jun, kills himself at 32 and wakes up in the body of his 16 year old self, birth name Moran. Excited to get a redo, Moran wants to save his supposed true love Shimei, whose death the last go-around pushed him towards evil. He also wants to avoid entanglement with Chu Wanning, his shizun and sworn enemy in past life. And that’s all you are best off knowing, trust me. The only hint I am going to give is oooh boy the mother of all unreliable narrators has arrived!

The novel starts light and funny on boil the frog principle - if someone told me I would be full bawling multiple times with this novel, I’d have thought they were insane, but i swear my eyes hurt by the end of it. I started out being amused and/or disliking the mains and by the end I would die for either of them.

The Wife is First - OK, this one did not make my top 10 web novels but it’s a sweet, fun gay cottagecore fest. Our ML, a royal prince, and his spouse, a smart if delicate aristocrat, keep house, eat noodles, play with their pet tiger, make out and spoil each other rotten, while occasionally fighting battles and outwitting their court enemies. It’s so very mellow. That couple redefines low drama - they are both nice and functional and use their brains. It’s as if a nice jock and a nice nerd got together and then proceeded to be wholesome all over the place.

I mean, the set up could be dramatic - our ML the prince, lost his fight for the throne and is about to be killed. The only person who stayed loyal to him is his arranged husband the aristocrat guy who ML never treated nicely since he resented marrying him (marrying a man in that world is done to remove someone from the ability to inherit the throne.) And yet the husband stood by him not out of love but beliefs in loyalty blah blah. Anyway, he transmigrates back into the past right after their wedding night and is all “I got a second chance OMG! I don’t want the throne what is even the point? I want to live a good long life and treat the only person who stood by me really well!” And he proceeds to do so to the shock of the aristocrat who had a very unpleasant wedding night and generally can tell the man he just married would rather eat nails than be married to him. But soon enough (no seriously, it’s not many chapters at all) he believes the prince is sincere blah blah and then they get together and they pretty much become cottagecore goals.

In terms of dramas, I only do period dramas (or novels) so I am not the person to be able to recommend any modern BLs. There is a flood of upcoming (hopefully) period BL dramas but it’s relatively thin on the ground now. The two I will recommend is Word of Honor (which is AMAZING) and Winter Begonia (which I just started watching but which owns me already.) I have a tag for both - the one for the former is huge and I cannot recommend either strongly enough. I’ve heard good things about The Sleuth of the Ming Dynasty, but I am not big on mysteries so haven’t watched it for myself.

In terms of the upcoming BLs, the ones I am most looking forward to are Immortality and Winner Is King, but The Society of the Four Leaves also looks promising.

#asks #cdrama #cnovel

46 notes · View notes

life-rewritten · 3 years

Text

Spooky Season! A look into a Masterpiece (He’s Coming To Me Review)

I've been waiting to talk about this show and how my love for it will never end. Surprisingly the source of the show is GMMTV, whilst known for so many problematic elements in BL genre; He's coming to me manages to avoid every single issue naturally had with this genre. And because of that, this review is an ode to a masterpiece that should not be forgotten and should not be underrated. It's also Halloween, so this is another excuse to go back and look at the best things about this show. Hopefully, we get more like this GMMTV.

Ratings: Plot: 9/10 Directing: 9/10 Acting: 910 Satisfaction: 9/10 Overall: A* Rewatch factor: 8.5/10

AN IN-DEPTH REVIEW

Nothing wrong to say about this show. And that's a breath of fresh air; I remember first watching this show in 2019 very late because we had issues with the subtitles, and I went into it very sceptical and had low expectations. By the end of this show, I was so grateful and happy that this exists.

The title of the show (He keeps coming to me) is what the heart of the show is about. Thun, our main character who keeps going to Mes, a ghost who he can see, his determination in keeping Mes by his side, to being his childhood acquaintance, to his best friend and finally to his lover, is felt and focused on when he has to brave the world and society norms, and some truths about himself. Meanwhile, Mes has to discover his reason for being a ghost and unravel the mysteries tying him to his fate with Thun. So incredible to watch and see their love story unfold.

Criticisms/ Comments

As I said, there are no negatives when it comes to this show. All we could maybe mention is the slow pace from episode 1-3. But even at that, the relationship dynamics are shown genuinely because of the time it takes to develop the story.

This love story uses the trope friends to lovers which entails a soft cute and heartwarming bond between Mes and Thun since they first met each other. The two want to spend as much time with each other even though their worlds are different (spirit realm vs human realm). Thun is determined to have Mes keep coming to his side, learning about the lore and rules surrounding ghosts in our world; the use of incense, the way Mes starts of not being able to hold onto anything, the fact that Thun is the only person who sees Mes. He can't hide his feelings even when he's with his friends, he makes up excuses just to return home to spend time with Mes, and he makes it his mission to discover why Mes died, so Mes gets reincarnated. The slow pace might make people think the show is a bit boring, but it's just a way to introduce and show exposition to the other characters surrounding this world. If you rewatch the show, you also start to recognise foreshadowing symbolisms, devices and hints pointing to the final revelation about how Thun and Mes are tied together.

I also think some people struggled with as well the lack of 'skinship' from Thun and Mes, but this is a device used to emphasise one of the obstacles of our couple; the lack of touch ( because Mes struggles to learn the rules of how to hold objects or touch Thun). We the audience try to uncover the reasons for why sometimes they're able to feel each other by mistake and Mes starts to work hard to hold objects and cook, and turn on the incense which keeps him tied to the environment it's in. I didn't have an issue with the skinship because the actors were phenomenal at showing little subtle hints to feelings on their faces of longing, want and love. The scenes where skinship was required wasn't stiff or awkward or weird like other shows of this genre make you feel about them. It felt natural, a tad unrealistic (in terms of the way their heads tilted and the camera spun) but so what? The show wasn't meant to focus on that; it focused on the bond and love between the two, they just enjoyed talking and spending quality time being domestic with each other, and that's adorable. Alright, let's look at the positives:

Character Breakdown and Plot Meaning

The characterisation of HCTM is so excellent; it still shocks me how much I didn't expect it to be this way. All our characters are critical to the plot, even when they're just side characters with no deep story arcs to themselves. Thun and Mes interact with people who are part of their path in recognising what they are to each other. Before I praise the characterisation of the two, let's focus on some other characters who were so good in this show:

Thun's best friends: Prince, Plufai and Khiem

These were a phenomenal group of friends who were so caring and patient and genuinely the heartwarming part of this series as well. I enjoyed watching how much they went out of their way to ensure that Thun was okay, even when they didn't understand why he was the way he was and also felt frightened by some of his actions (talking to himself randomly, and acting out). One of my fave story arcs during the season is when Khiem (Played amazingly by Sing) thinks Thun is taking drugs and so starts a secret series of investigations keeping an eye on his actions. It wasn't because they were judging him but because they were worried about his wellbeing.

Also, my heart melted for Prince (Played by another excellent favourite Chimon), who had unrequited feelings for Plufai and struggled to deal with her feelings for Thun and his own seemingly cold/nonchalant/evasive actions concerning her. It's the way he wasn't toxic or problematic and also was willing to step down if Thun did have feelings for Plufai. I also really enjoyed watching his relationship with her develop and the natural chemistry between the two.

Lastly, PluFai first starts as every female character from a GMMTV show, a competition, someone there to be a beard to the main character. Still, I enjoyed her heart. I also loved her being the mirror character to Thun's mum when it came to her relationship with Mes in the past. Both women show strength and understanding and acceptance once they discover the sexuality of the person who they had feelings for. And I thought her way of dealing with it, their friendship being robust and full of communication was really what sold it for me. There were moments when I was frightened about her connection to the mystery of Mes's death, and it broke my heart when she realised what she was to him and what it meant for her grandfather. I also enjoyed the way she takes it on her self to make it up to him and how forgiving she is to her grandfather despite the fact I didn't think he should be. She showed strength, understanding and warmth and kept being that way and also consistent. And I love that because she wasn't problematic female stereotypes that GMMTV loves to add to women, she stayed great and true throughout the show. And I loved it.

Thun's Family: Mum and Dad

Honestly, the way the writing of these characters was what made me love this show the most. Thun's dad shows up only in episode 1 before he dies surprisingly and Mes sees his ghost disappear. I thought that's all we needed to know of him. Still, we really get to learn more about Thun's family dynamics; there are answers to why his mum didn't join them during the grave excursions, why she was absent during those years he meets Mes, his father's knowing and understanding gaze as Thun cries about not being able to see him and also how he's hidden the fact he sees ghosts. We get information as well about the relationship with him and the mum after Mes broke up with her.

Next, we have Thun's mum, her first appearance is warm and pleasant. Still, we won't be able to fathom that she's wearing the watch that Mes has been drawing all this time, she's the girl who provided Mes with the same gift he created for Thun, she's already been close with someone who came out and so she was a source of strength for Thun when he struggled with accepting his sexuality. That coming out scene is so incredible and has made this show a fantastic piece of media for representation for LGBT. I loved her relationship with Mes, despite it being an obstacle to our couple at first, she's so understanding of him, and she's so grateful he returned and is the person her son loves. But also it's the plot twist that Thun sees ghosts because she too can, and she was hiding that as a secret until she meets Mes. It made it better, a relief to know that he's not alone and there is a reason for why he's able to see them. It also made the relationship with our couple easier because she understood and saw Mes, so Thun and Mes's relationship was more readily accepted.

He's coming to me brought these characters and connected it to its world-building, rules and understanding of its supernatural themes whilst still providing consistent dynamics about friendship and family and life in general. Not only is it a BL show, but it had other focuses as well rounding it up and making it much more wholesome and needed. The characters held no toxic tropes commonly also found in BL, the relationships felt real and authentic, and each of the characters had development and growth that tied them together to the plot overall. Now onto the heart of this show: My all-time faves Thun and Mes

Thun

One of my favourite characters, honestly rewatching this show was so incredible, especially when I started to notice more about this character after all the revelations revealed throughout the show. I went into the show surprised at how open Thun was to Mes already, the way he cared and wanted what was the best for Mes who has always been alone and neglected. Even when older Thun shows up and still shows the same amount of care even though he dislikes the fact that he could see ghosts, he's so warm and protective over Mes, and it made me swoon and smile. I enjoyed watching him come to terms with who he was.

At first, we don't see any hints that this is something the story will focus on. But as we go deeper into his university life and his reason for why he studied law etc. It becomes evident that Thun knows he's gay but is struggling with internalised homophobia, it's also pretty clear he's had feelings from the beginning for Mes. He even knew when Mes started having feelings for him too.

They just didn't want to confront what it meant. Ohm Pawat's acting is so incredible you can see the subtle changes in Thun, and meanings with his actions with Mes that they both have requited feelings for each other but they don't want to cross the line. Thun has memorable speeches during the show as well about his struggle with his sexuality and how people perceive him. It's incredible how the show mirrors his on the surface secret about seeing ghosts and being seen as abnormal to the world to his internal/ more profound secret about his sexuality and also feeling abnormal. It's so telling that once Mes enters his life, he no longer feels it a struggle to embrace who he is, he uncontrollably speaks to Mes and laughs and stares romantically whilst hanging around his friends, he can't help but run to him when he needs him. Especially during the rooftop scene, the fear of losing Mes causes him not to care what others think, and he proceeds to call for him and confess his feelings and stay out in the rain waiting for him. He also proceeds to accept his sexuality even more, once Mes enters his life, he kisses Plufai to determine what he truly feels and once that occurs he decides to head straight and try to talk to Mes about it, thereby afterwards always making Mes know what he is to him is more than friends. I can talk a lot about his character and how much I enjoyed his development and how he chose to finally trust the people around him and also his determination to keep Mes by his side. Which we, later on, find out is also the reason for why they could touch and feel each other. The show emphasises that it's about his determination, his perseverance and love for Mes that keeps the latter coming to him. And towards the end, his wish comes true, and Mes returns to his side because of that. Awesome and beautifully written.

Mes

Singto has been an unstoppable force in GMMTV as an actor, and Mes is another character that is just as memorable and great as the others. While Thun's characterisation surrounds his will and determination to keep Mes by his side, Mes's surrounds his warmth and caring aura. I love. love realising that both Mes and Thun mirrored each other when struggling with their sexuality, both had girls who were loyal and great to them, but they couldn't hide who they were anymore.

The show emphasises the importance of this, telling the audience that yes they're gay, this is a show about two gay boys falling in love, and this is also about how they accept who they are whilst dealing with the obstacles that are supposed to separate them.

Mes is so soft, he's this adorable, mischievous (with personality), ball of fluff and I enjoyed his character. He wasn't written as a stagnant and a boring character; he had his own goals, his own self-exploration, his own storyline and mystery to be solved. And the way the show told his story, was fantastic, the way they mixed the supernatural elements of Mes and the mystery of his death back to Thun was so great. Mes and Thun were always destined to find each other; they were on the path to each other though one of it included him being murdered by his relative, every character is connected together to help get these two together at the end. I love how the show makes us feel like Mes has an unrequited love for Thun at first.

We see Singto's acting to the finest, the longing, the jealousy and the worry about their new blooming relationship. He also shows guilt and character depth when he realises that Kwan is Thun's mother. The pacing and directing keep us in the dark for why he's gone for so long and ran away after their first kiss. We later get the truth revealed as Thun comes out to his mum, and it's such a brilliant way to get the audience even more heartbroken about the reveal. Due to dramatic irony. The mum is the reason for why Thun can happily accept Mes as his lover in his life yet is also an obstacle because Mes can't get over what he did to her in the past. It's brilliant, and such a great way to write the story.

I am so happy as well that Mes returns to Thun's side. I cried like a baby watching their week together, knowing that the time to say goodbye was coming closer. Their conversation about everything and their uncontrollable feelings was so meaningful and heartbreaking; their confession about how they've loved each other from the start; how they've known how the latter felt but refused to accept it because of all the obstacles in their way. Mes still unsure but deciding to spend the last moments together as much as possible. And their relief in discovering that they can touch each other, and the reason for why. These two's love was so beautiful to see.

Lastly, I enjoyed the fact that this is a happy ending. With this genre when surrounding these topics death, separation etc. You expect sad endings mostly because that's the way directors like to end LGBT shows for a long time (something I absolutely detest), from episode 1, the show actually foreshadowed the ending, and comes through with it, I cried so much when I realised that it was not yet Mes's time to go all because of the reasons stated in episode 1. I also cried because GMMTV directors let a great representation show have a hopeful, romantic ending, and a show for many people to relate to, but also to run to and forget about reality.

That's why this show is a masterpiece. I didn't even go into the devices and symbols used in this show, but there was a lot of meta, foreshadowing, dramatic irony etc. That also made this show brilliant. The directing and production quality is also fantastic and deserves praise. The actors; all of them were incredible. I just want another show like this please GMMTV?

#thai bl #he's coming to me #halloween #wrpup #bl series #hctm #ohm pawat #singto prachaya #october #thunmes #gmmtv #metthun #ohmsingto #bl drama #fvete

67 notes · View notes

xbaepsae · 4 years

Text

can you blame me | part one

“You feel guilty for many reasons. You’re guilty for making your best friend question your loyalty. You’re guilty for not telling him about your new job. You’re guilty for every thought you’ve had about Taehyung because you know that it would kill Jeongguk if he knew.”

[american football player!taehyung x reader feat. best friend!jeongguk]

genre: slight rivals to lovers!au, high school football!au, angsty-ish

word count: 9.1k

rating: pg-13

a/n: i loved writing the first part of this fic so much! i also really love the whole football player x cheerleader trope (even though i am not athletic at all lol). already can’t wait for you guys to know what happens next. enjoy! xoxo

This feeling never gets old.

Maybe it’s the crowd, or the stadium lights—or even the brisk late summer air; all you know is, Friday night football is exhilarating. For as long as you can remember, you’ve breathed this sport. Your father had football playing on the television every weekend of your childhood; and when you picked up cheerleading in middle school, the sport became a part of you.

Of course, you still don’t understand every play the team makes, but you don’t need to. Your job is to cheer your players on—especially the one with the tousled, dark hair and bright eyes.

Jeon Jeongguk also picked up football around the same time you did cheer. Your father was ecstatic to know your best friend loved the sport equally as much. You can’t even recall the amount of times your father has pulled the boy aside to talk plays. After all, Jeongguk was the quarterback and team captain of the high school football team, and your father always wanted a breakdown of their plays.

Sometimes, you wonder who the real best friend is. But as you feel his eyes search for yours on the field, your position is secure.

You’ve known Jeongguk since diaper days. Since your mothers grew up best friends, it only seemed natural for the two of you to become close. Also, your birthdays aren’t far apart; so, there were many shared childhood celebrations.

Now that you’re thinking about it, you can’t imagine your life without the boy. Obviously, everyone thinks the two of you should date. It would be something organic since he’s the quarterback and you’re head cheerleader. Actually, it would be kind of perfect—like destiny. However, the thought of being in that kind of relationship with him repulses you. Thankfully, Jeongguk feels the same way.

You continue to feel his gaze penetrate your peripheral. Normally, you would look; but you’re searching for someone too.

On the other side of the field, your heart stutters for half a beat when you see him. Kim Taehyung is turned away from you, but you make out the number on his uniform—and all his glory. You wouldn’t say you like him; after all, you don’t really know Taehyung at all. However, despite this, you can’t deny your fascination with him. Plus, you’ve stalked his Instagram account enough to know he is so your type.

Unfortunately, your mild fantasy falls short when you feel a hand wrap around your arm.

“Earth to my best friend.”

You would know the grip anywhere. “Yes, Jeongguk?”

“You’ve been spacy all day. What’s wrong?” he asks, and you finally turn to face him. His helmet’s off, and sweat’s dripping down his forehead.

“Nothing,” you offer a smile. “Just excited for the rest of game, that’s all.” It was halftime.

He smiles. “Yeah, we’re going to crush the other team. We’re already ahead by a touchdown.”

Looking at Jeongguk, you search his eyes. It was one thing to dislike a team that rivaled your own, but you knew that your best friend’s hatred extended far beyond that. You don’t remember when or where it began, but he and Taehyung couldn’t stand one another. It was kind of funny, considering they both attended the same football summer camp for four summers.

If no one knew it before, it became obvious that they hated one another freshman year. It was Kim Taehyung’s school homecoming, so your team was playing on his turf. Maybe it was the advantage of playing at home, but they won. However, no one ever talks about the win. If anyone asks about that homecoming game, the only thing talked about is the fight between Taehyung and Jeongguk.

No one at your school talks about it though—at least, no one is supposed to. There is speculation as to who started the fight first, and what it was even about, but no one knows. The only people that know are the two who participated. It’s been three years, but Jeongguk still won’t tell you what actually happened.

Although the game was a bust, there was some good that happened. After all, it was the first time you had a good look at Kim Taehyung in person. Prior to that game, you had only heard about him from Jeongguk. And everything he said about Taehyung had been bullshit because when you saw him play, he was amazing.

Like Jeongguk, Taehyung is also the quarterback. In a way, you can understand their hatred. You don’t know what the root of it all is, but you know that it must suck for them to be constantly compared.

“If we win—which we will—party at Hoseok’s house,” Jeongguk continues, which brings you out of your mini daydream.

“Again?” you mock-roll your eyes.

He laughs, “What? His parents are fucking loaded, and they’re out of town again. It’s not like I make him host—he wants to.”

“I’m just teasing. I like Hoseok’s house anyway,” you say. “But the real question is, are you going to get wasted and crash there? Or get wasted and I drive you home?”

“I’ll just crash there,” he says with a shrug, “but thanks for the offer anyway. Why don’t you just sleep over too?”

You stare at him with a raised brow. “Uh, I can’t just sleep over with a bunch of guys?”

“I’m going to be there,” Jeongguk retorts like it’s so simple.

“Yeah, like that excuse is always going to work with my dad.”

“The man practically worships the ground I walk on,” he smiles, and you laugh because it’s basically the truth.

After a few moments, a sigh leaves your mouth. “Well, if you get recruited to play college football…yeah.”

Playing college football is the only thing Jeongguk worries about these days. You know that he’s more than good enough to get recruited, and everyone else knows this too. It’s just the matter of if he truly believes it as well.

As you watch your best friend mull over your words, you feel the sensation of being watched raise the hairs on the back of your neck. Without even thinking, you turn towards the other side of the field. Instantly, your gaze meets Taehyung’s.

By now, you are positive he knows who you are. You’ve never had a conversation with him, much less formally met him. Jeongguk would never allow that to happen. Yet, you feel a strange connection to him—like magnets are pulling you towards him. As if Jeongguk can sense this energy too, he follows your eyes.

You break from the gaze first and turn to your best friend. Within seconds, his eyes harden. “Kim won’t know what hit him.”

***

Unsurprisingly, your school wins and Jeongguk celebrates by parading you around the field on his shoulders.

This is actually a tradition the two of you have, which started sometime during sophomore year. By that point, the boy was finally a little taller than you and could lift you a little easier. Of course, now, he towers over you.

When he finally puts you down to grab a shower, the other girls on your team pull you over in their little huddle.

“Oh my god, you’re so lucky to have Jeon wrapped around your finger,” Sohee whines. “I would kill to have him treat me how he treats you.”

“Like a rag doll?” you laugh, bending down to collect your pom-poms off the grass.

Sohee rolls her eyes. “You know what I’m talking about.”

“Yeah,” Lou pipes up, “are you sure that the two of you don’t have a thing? I’ve never seen him treat any girl like that—and June dated him.”

“Thanks a lot, bitch,” June teases sarcastically.

You roll your eyes at all of them—they just don’t get it. “Please, the day I start to fall for Jeongguk will be the day hell freezes over. You girls just don’t know; I’ve known him since we were babies. He’s like the brother I never had.”

For a second, the urge to admit that someone else occupies your thoughts sits on the tip of your tongue. But you refrain from saying anything because as much as you love your team, all of these girls have big mouths. If they knew you were interested in the enemy, it would be the scandal of the year. And you’re trying to stay away from drama at all costs.

“Anyway,” you change the subject, “are you all headed to Hoseok’s?”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world!” the all say in unison.

Ten minutes later, changed and makeup freshened up, you make your way towards your car. As you pull out of the parking lot, with all of you cheer girls following behind you, you notice that a few other cars linger in the lot; cars you aren’t familiar with. As you drive by the cars, you slow down and realize that it’s Kim Taehyung and a few of his teammates. But they’re not alone; a few girls surround them as well.

Never have you been more thankful for tinted windows, because you hit the gas the second his posse turn toward you and make your way off school property. As you near Hoseok’s house, you wonder why Taehyung and his friends were still lingering at your school. If anything, you thought they left the second the game ended. But all thoughts of him fade when you pull into a massive driveway.

Even though you’ve been at this house more times than you can remember, it still leaves you shocked that someone you know lives here. Jeongguk wasn’t exaggerating when he said Hoseok’s parents were loaded. They are business tycoons or something, and never take a day off—that’s why they are never home.

After parking your car, you link arms with Sohee and walk inside the party.

“Let’s party motherfucker’s because we fucking won!” Hoseok shouts the second you make your way through his front door. In one hand, he holds a red cup; in the other, a half empty bottle of Don Julio. And without needing to be told twice, everyone cheers. When he notices that it’s you who walked through the door, he holds the red cup out. “Cheers, pom-pom queen!”

Even though you don’t care too much for tequila, you oblige. You can still operate under one shot anyway. Hoseok pours a bit of Don Julio into the cup and you nod, “Cheers.”

After downing the smooth liquor, Sohee and the rest of the girls follow suit. As they take their respective shots, you make your way deeper into the crowd of people. In just a few minutes, you find Jeongguk drinking a beer with Park Jimin.

“Good job tonight, Park,” you say when you’re within hearing distance.

Jimin turns at the sound of your voice, a slow—albeit smug—smile stretching across his face. “Thanks—couldn’t have made all those touchdowns without good ‘ole Jeongguk here though.”

“Nah,” Jeongguk shakes his head, “it was definitely a team effort.”

You watch at they both begin to faux banter about who carries the team, and all you can do is roll your eyes. Boys. You leave them to continue their battle of masculinity and walk through the rest of the house. You’re not surprised that majority of the school is here—everyone loves a good post-game party.

Walking into the backyard, people turn away from their conversations to say a brief hey or what’s up—that’s a perk of the title of head cheerleader you carry. Though, you don’t really care for the attention at all. If anything, you would cheer regardless whether or not popularity came attached with it.

Being a cheerleader isn’t as glamorous as the movies make it out to be. The sport makes you automatically more prone to injuries, and practices are often so intense you don’t have time for anything else. But, you wouldn’t trade the experience for the world.

Someone calls your name; and when you match the voice to the face, you smile instantly. Standing off to the side, with a red solo cup in his hand, Min Yoongi looks like he’d rather be anywhere else but here. And you think it’s absolutely hilarious. “Having fun?”

He huffs before rolling his eyes. “At least there’s free booze.”

“Oh, come on, don’t act like you don’t secretly love these parties.”

“Mmm,” Yoongi takes a sip of whatever is in his cup, “sure.”

If Jeongguk is your longest friend, Yoongi is your second longest friend. You met the boy back in elementary school. Even back then, he was a little punk. He sat behind you in class and threw disgusting spit balls into your hair. When you had finally had enough of his little act, you threw an equally disgusting—though much larger—spit ball right back at him.

You both ended up in detention, your first and only offense in school, and you forced him to become your friend. Well, more like you threatened to make his life a living hell if he didn’t stop annoying you. Somehow, it worked because Yoongi is still in your life. And he hasn’t complained, so that has to mean something. Right?

“At least tell me you were at the game,” you say.

“Wouldn’t miss you and Jeongguk prancing around the field for the world.”

Did you mention that you forced him to be friends with Jeongguk too? The two of them aren’t as close as you are with either of them, but they are amicable and respect one another.

“Even though the other team lost, they were pretty damn good—especially the quarterback,” Yoongi continues and your heart jumps a little at the mention of Taehyung.

“I thought you don’t speak football,” you tease to hide your sudden spiked heartrate.

He shoots you a look, “But I do speak talent.”

You can’t deny that. Yoongi did have a penchant for reading people in that way. There was one time he discovered some random SoundCloud rapper, AugstD, and messaged him saying that his music was great. Not even a week later, the rapper blew up. Maybe it was simply a coincidence, but Yoongi likes to give himself credit for that.

“Well, okay, mister I speak talent—what was so impressive about Kim?” you ask; however, before Yoongi can answer, there is suddenly commotion all around you. Everyone begins running inside like a herd of gazelles being chased by a lion.

“Hmm, wonder what’s got everyone going crazy,” Yoongi sips his drink.

The same thought crosses your mind and you’re about to let it slide, but Lou comes running out the door. She has the strangest expression on her face, and you run to meet her halfway. “What’s wrong?”

“Oh my god, you’ll never believe who just crashed the party,” she says, completely breathless. When you don’t seem to give her the right reaction, she rolls her eyes, “Fuck—it’s Kim Taehyung.”

Your traitorous heart is immediately thrilled with the idea of being in close proximity to Taehyung. And behind you, you feel Yoongi coming closer, “What are they doing here?”

Lou shrugs, “Beats me. But you need to come inside—now!”

That’s when it clicks in your head—why everyone rushed inside, why Lou seems so panicked. For a moment, you let your thoughts drift to only Taehyung that you completely forgot the most important thing.

“Oh no, Jeongguk.”

“Exactly,” Lou sighs before pulling you into the house.

Walking through a packed crowd is surprisingly easier than you thought it would be. Then again, Lou is a force to be reckoned with. And when everyone notices who is trying to push through, and they see you, they give you space. For once, you’re thankful for that.

As you get closer to the front of Hoseok’s house, you can feel tension piercing the air. Everyone is so quiet, and you hear Jeongguk before you see him. The tone of his voice sends chills down your spine; you realize that you’ve never heard him like this before. Gone is the bubbly boy you call your best friend—this is a man out for blood.

Lou leads you straight to the front door where everyone has formed a large circle around Jeongguk and Taehyung. But before you approach them, you look at who else decided to crash the party.

Standing on either side of Taehyung is none other than Kim Seokjin and Kim Namjoon. They were called the Infamous Kim’s for a reason—Taehyung and his friends had a reputation. And you saw them on the field earlier; they played hard, and you knew they could fight even harder. You just hope it doesn’t come to that.

Where Seokjin and Namjoon flank their quarterback, you notice that Jimin and Hoseok have done the same to Jeongguk. This looks like a scene straight out of a movie.

“Why are you here, Kim?” Jeongguk asks, arms crossed over his chest. “Came to lose again?”

The crowd gets a rush out of that, but Taehyung doesn’t look phased. Actually, he looks more amused than anything. “Maybe we let you guys win—haven’t you ever played chess before? You might’ve knocked a pawn over—or even the knight—but my King’s still intact.”

No one reacts to that statement, but you can tell that your best friends is heated from the way his shoulders are squared. Before Jeongguk can do anything reckless, you walk behind him and touch his arm.

He tenses for a moment before relaxing and turning to face you. “Hey.”

You offer him a quick smile, and then muster up the courage to look straight ahead. First, you meet Namjoon’s hard gaze and then Seokjin’s. Finally, you look at Taehyung and his dark eyes have you drowning. He is so close, yet so far; under his scrutiny, you feel like he can see all of your deepest darkest secrets.

“Didn’t know Jeon needed a girl to fix his problems,” Taehyung smirks.

Why did you have to be so attracted to him? He was such an asshole. “Girl has a name, thank you very much.” Someone yells you just got burned, dude and you try not to crack a smile. “And I think you need to leave.”

“Want me to leave that bad?” He doesn’t look away from you; in fact, he has the audacity to give your body a once over. Unfortunately, Taehyung has a damn good poker face; so, you don’t know what he’s thinking.

“Yes, please—with a cherry on top,” your words are laced with sarcasm and he’s smart enough to catch it.

Finally, he looks away and a slow smirk stretches across his face—tongue sticking out of his mouth and everything. “Don’t stress, we didn’t plan on hanging long anyway.”

“You shouldn’t have come in the first place,” Hoseok pipes up, and you remember that it’s his house after all. “You know, I could have you arrested for trespassing.”

“Under what legal pretense?” Namjoon laughs. “Do you own his house? Oh wait—no, your rich daddy does. And actually, if we’re talking about legality here, we could have you all arrested for underage drinking.”

That comment sends everyone into a frenzy. You know Namjoon isn’t stupid enough to call the cops because they wouldn’t risk themselves getting into any mess; also, you know that they wouldn’t dare jeopardize their potential to play college football. All of these guys wanted a taste of the big leagues.

“Just get the fuck out of here,” Jeongguk says through his teeth. “I don’t have time to deal with your shit.”

“See you on the field, Jeon.” With that last statement, Taehyung, Seokjin, and Namjoon leave—slamming the front door behind them. You release a breath you didn’t even know you were holding as Hoseok announces that the party is over.

Some people whine that the night just begun, but you know that everyone on the football team is tense from what just happened. Even you don’t think that you can enjoy the night after dealing with Taehyung, and you kind of like him for some reason. So, you can’t even begin to imagine how Jeongguk is feeling.

As soon as everyone files out—including all of the girls on your cheer squad and Yoongi—the only people remaining are you and the football team. You don’t even know why you’re still here, but one look from your best friend forces you from leaving. It wasn’t your place to meddle in football rivalry, but you supposed that you were kind of caught between two sides. Though, no one but you knows this.

“Well, that fucking sucked,” Jimin is the first to say anything in the tense atmosphere, and a few of the others nod in agreement.

“Understatement of the century,” Hoseok rolls his eyes and then turns to you. “But who knew you had balls to talk to Kim Taehyung like that.”

You shrug, “How else was I supposed to react? I mean, he had no right to be here in the first place.”

“Remind us to never get on your bad side.”

“You guys have nothing to worry about.”

Silence follows your words, and you realize that everyone is waiting for Jeongguk to say something. All eyes are turned towards their captain. For a moment, you are reminded of how your best friend commands the room—the power he exudes.

“We aren’t playing them for the rest of the season, so I’m not worried about Kim Taehyung and his rat pack,” he finally says, and everyone visibly relaxes.

Until Jimin pipes up with, “Unless they make it to playoffs too.”

A dark shadow is casted on the team again and the look Jeongguk gives him would make anyone wish to dig their own grave. Jimin quickly apologizes and things appear to go back to normal. Well, as normal as things can get right now.

The guys continue talking and everyone agrees that they’ll resume the party tomorrow—somewhere else. They don’t want to risk another run in with Taehyung and his teammates. After everyone helps Hoseok clean his house up a bit, they begin to leave too. Jimin ends up deciding to crash here, and you suspect that Jeongguk will too. However, he surprises you.

“Can you give me a ride home?”

“Sure.”

As you drive the short few minutes to his house, he’s awfully quiet. It’s a type of quiet that has you worried, so you ask him what’s on his mind.

“The next time I see him, I’m going to punch him.”

You’re startled by the venom in his words. “Why?”

“Did you not see the way he looked at you?” Jeongguk sounds disgusted. “A fucking prick.”

Was it wrong that you felt strangely giddy at the thought that Taehyung looked at you? You know that Jeongguk hates him, but your potential feelings for the other quarterback are definitely making this rivalry difficult. Why did you have to crush on the enemy?

“I doubt you’ll be seeing him anytime soon,” you say to appease him, but the comment makes you kind of sad. “Their school is in a different town.”

“Still,” he sighs. “I really hate him.”

You wish he didn’t.

***

The next week at school, everyone pretends that the party at Hoseok’s didn’t happen.

No one dared to bring up the mess that night turned out to be. Everyone pretended that the party hosted the day after, at another player’s house, was the actual winning celebration. And like everyone, you did the same. Or you tried too.

Every now and then, you thought of Kim Taehyung and his imposing presence. You were still angry at yourself for the interest in him. If Jeongguk found out, you’d be so dead. But it wasn’t like anyone knew anyway, and you were going to keep it that way. You would take it to the grave if you have to. Besides, it wasn’t anything more than fascination.

As football season continued, cheer practices weren’t getting any easier. But they were becoming lessened since your team recycled a lot of old routines. Besides, as much as you love cheerleading, but it isn’t your endgame. Cheering on the team is great, but—if you’re being honest—you’ve stuck with the sport for Jeongguk’s sake.

And your dad got free tickets to all the games, which you guess is a perk.

However, even as demanding as cheer practice is, you were already one month deep into the school year. And this mean that you were one month closer to college; because of that, your mom approached you with a suggestion.

“Honey, you know your father and I love you and want to support you in any way we can,” she begins, “but if you want to go to that hotshot university on the other side of the country, you’ll probably want to start looking for a part-time job.”

You understand where your mom is coming from—college really was super expensive. And you did want to get into your first pick school. So, it only made sense to start making some money. You were lucky enough to be an only child, but your parents couldn’t support you forever. The reality was you would probably need a job in college too. Why not start now?

So, to take your mind off school rivalry and a super-hot—but arrogant—boy, you start looking for a part-time job. Realistically speaking, you could only work at most three nights a week. You still had cheer practice every other day and football on Friday nights. Not to mention homework and finishing college apps. It would be a rough next few months, but you knew it’d be worth it.

The only place that ended calling you back was a little diner at the edge of town. And during your interview, you’re sweating bullets from nerves.

“Have you ever waitressed or done anything in the service industry?”

There was no doubt the bald-headed man in front of you was terrifying. He introduced himself as A—you weren’t sure if that was actually his real name or if he was just messing with you. “No, sir, I haven’t.”

“Have you ever had a job?” he asks, raking through your empty resumé.

You shake your head, “No, sir…I’m still in high school and I…and I cheer for my school.”

“Cheer,” A sounds rather unimpressed. “Your schools and your devotion to football. You know what, girly?”

“What?”

“This diner here is on the edge in-between two towns—I don’t want that damn football rivalry to cause trouble up in here, do you hear me?”

You don’t know what to say. All you can do is nod and offer a smile. “Of course.”

The man mumbles something unintelligible before raising his eyes to yours, “How many days a week can you work?”

“Three, maybe four—mostly weekends.”

He tells you that works, something about only needing a part-timer anyway. You’re completely fine with that. You still needed to balance school and your social life. Would you even have one after this? Hopefully you wouldn’t have to work too many Saturdays.

“When can you start?” he asks.

“Tomorrow?” you offer. Tomorrow would be a Tuesday—you didn’t have practice.

“You best be here by five o’clock on the dot,” he says, beginning to get up from his seat. Did you just get the job? “I don’t tolerate tardiness.”

You begin to get up as well, “Of course, sir—”

“Also, stop calling me sir—makes me feel damn old. Just call me A.”

“Okay…A,” you say rather awkwardly. “I’ll be here at five on the dot.”

Before you head home, A directs you to the manager, Minji, and she runs you through the basics—like what you have to wear and bring, etcetera.

“We’ll go through basic training once you get here at five tomorrow but remember to dress comfortable…and wear things you don’t mind ruining. You’ll be getting dirtier here than you’d like—trust me,” she says, and you must make a face because she laughs. “Don’t sweat it, dear; the tips will make up for it.”

When you get home, you let your parents know you got the job and your mom celebrates by making your favorite dessert. During dinner, they ask you about the interviewing process and the staff. You don’t exactly lie, but you omit the stuff about A—you don’t want your parents to be worried about who was running the diner.

“Your mother and I will have to come see you in action soon,” your father says, and you awkwardly laugh.

“Please—if you’re just going to come and embarrass me, I’d rather not.”

“We would never embarrass you, sweetie,” your mother says, and by the blinking of her eyes you know she’s lying. “Anyway, have you told Jeongguk about the job yet?”

Honestly, you haven’t even him that you were looking for anything. So, no, you definitely haven’t told him about your new job. “Not yet, he’s busy with football so…I haven’t had the chance.”

Utter bullshit. He literally texted you before dinner asking if you wanted to catch a movie tomorrow night—you had to decline. Making up some excuse about having a paper due. You don’t know why you’re scared to tell him about the diner job. Maybe it’s because you know he’s going to want to swing by; and with A’s words swimming in your head, you don’t want to risk anything.

“But I’ll let him know,” you continue.

“Yeah, that boy and football…that final play on Friday was crazy—” your dad begins his daily rant about football, and you tune him out.

For once, you don’t want to think about that.

***

“You should’ve come to the movie last night.”

Jeongguk blocks your way in the hall, so you have no choice but to give him attention. “Was it good?”

“Surprisingly,” he starts, “it was—though, Hoseok was screaming within the first five minutes.”

“I would’ve come just to see that,” you laugh.

“How was your paper? You never texted me back last night.”

Oh, that. You make up a lie about staying up most of the night. “That’s why I didn’t have time to text you back.”

In reality, you were at the diner until 11 o’clock. You were supposed to get off at nine, but Minji and the other staff needed help closing since someone called out. Besides the exhausting night, you really liked working at the diner. The other workers were nice enough, and the best part was that no one asked you about football or any of that stuff. No one had any preconceived notions about you or the crowd you associated with.

“That sucks. What class was the paper for again?”

“History,” the lie slips easily through your lips.

Jeongguk seems to think about that for a moment. “Really? Because I know you have that class with Jimin and he didn’t mention anything about a paper being due today—I mean, if he did, wouldn’t he have been pulling an all-nighter last night too?”

Shit. You forgot you had that class with Jimin. He sits in the back, so it slipped your mind. “Did I say History? I meant Psychology.”

“I know you lied.”

Your best friend was many things, but he wasn’t stupid. As other students scramble to get to class before the bell rings, you feel frozen on the spot. Jeongguk hits you with a look that fills you with guilt. But before you can offer an explanation, the warning bell rings—meaning, you have a minute to get to class before you get points taken off.

“I’ll explain—meet me after practice later?” you ask him.

“Coach has us doing an extended practice since it’s mid-week. You can come to the field after you get done with cheer,” he offers, and you agree before running off to class.

You slip into History just as the bell rings. With a relieved sigh, you walk to your seat—but not before you catch Jimin’s eyes and send him a scathing look. He visibly shrinks and mouths an I’m sorry as you sit down.

As class goes on, you barely pay attention to what your teacher is talking about. Instead, you think about how you shouldn’t be mad at Jimin. After all, how was he supposed to know you lied to Jeongguk? You two weren’t that close—not close enough for him to cover for you in that way. First and foremost, his loyalty was to Jeongguk.

Your loyalty should be to him as well.

The second class ends, you catch up to Jimin and apologize. “I forgot that we had this class together when I talked to Jeongguk last night.”

“You should just be honest with him, you know? Whatever it is, Jeongguk doesn’t care.”

“I know,” you say. “Sorry for putting you in an awkward position.”

Later, when you walk into Psychology, you settle into your seat beside Yoongi and bang your head against the desk. After a moment, you lift your head up and he sends you a weird look. “Are you good…?”

“No,” you’re honest with him. You never could lie to Yoongi. “I’m in hot water with Jeongguk.”

“What happened?”

You face him, “I got a job.”

Yoongi lifts a brow, clearly surprised by your words. “Really? I didn’t peg you as someone to get a part-time—especially since you are kind of busy.”

“Same,” you reply. “But my parents want me to start making money for college.”

He hums, “Let me guess, you didn’t tell Jeongguk?”

“In my defense, my first day was literally yesterday.”

“But why did you tell me and not him? Not that we aren’t close, but still—he’s your best friend, right?”

“Because I hate letting Jeongguk down,” you admit. “That mixed with the diner I work at; I feel like it would be a mess.”

Yoongi frowns, “Don’t tell me you work at the diner on the edge of town.”

For the first time in his conversation, you narrow your eyes at him. “And what about it?”

“You do realize that since it’s located where it’s at, both towns come and go as they please.”

“Yeah,” you nod, “the owner—A—mentioned not to get football involved there, which is a part of why I haven’t told Jeongguk anything.”

“I get that, and it makes sense—especially with how volatile the dude can be,” Yoongi says just as your teacher walks into the classroom.

However, you frown at his words. “What do you mean by that?”

“What I mean is,” he spares you a glance as the bell rings, “if Jeon Jeongguk rules this town, the other side of that diner you work at—the other town—is ruled by Kim Taehyung.”

***

To say that practice is rough would be an understatement.

“Where’s your head?”

You turn to Sohee, “Sorry—it’s been an off day.”

“Clearly,” Lou butts in, “and coach is making us pay for it—so stop being distracted so we can leave already.”

“Yeah, I’m already late for my appointment,” June complains as the whole squad gets back into formation.

Sohee smirks, “Your dick appointment?”

“With who?” that snaps you back to reality.

“No one.”

You furrow your brows, “If it’s someone on the football team, don’t bother. Apparently, they have an extended practice today.”

“It will be an extended practice for you girls too if you all don’t stop yapping it up!” your coach practically screeches, and you immediately plaster your fakest smile.

As coach blows her whistle, you tumble into a cartwheel and land perfectly onto your feet. But that isn’t enough to appease her, and she makes you all perform the routine from the top. Luckily, the routine is short; and everyone does their part flawlessly, thank god, so practice officially ends.

The entire squad rushes into the locker room and fights for a shower. Rather than insisting on a shower first, you reach for your phone. At the top of your notifications is a text from Jeongguk.

4:05 PM | Jeongguk: still in practice

You don’t bother responding since you know that he probably doesn’t have his phone on him. Besides, the message was sent forty minutes ago; if anything changed, he would’ve messaged you again. When a shower opens, you sink your body underneath the hot water. You let the water wash away all the pent-up stress you’ve been holding—half of which you didn’t even realize you had.

Once you’re clean, you grab all of your things and make your way towards the football field. Lou catches you on her way out and asks you where you’re going.

“Jeongguk,” you reply. “I have to talk to him about something.”

She wiggles her eyebrows, “Okay.”

You ignore her suggestive expression. “Yeah. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Don’t have too much fun.”

“I doubt watching a bunch of dudes tackle each other will be.”

Lou narrows her eyes playfully, “Oh, come on. There’s nothing hotter than a sweaty football player.” Immediately, your mind flashes to one player in particular. Lou catches the quick shift in your face and laughs. “See.”

“Ha-ha,” you collect yourself. “Get out of here.”

She bids you adieu, and you go out into the sun. For early autumn, it was still pretty warm. You like the warmth, but you also can’t wait for those chilly autumn nights—Friday night football in sweater weather is the best.

As you near the field, you hear the team before you can see them. From afar, they sound like a herd of animals being groomed by a whistle. In a twisted way, you suppose that’s actually the case. Their coach must really be on them today because the whistle keeps going off. You can already picture their exhausted faces in your head—especially Jeongguk’s.

And you’re right.

Walking right into the stadium, you take a seat on one of the lowest bleachers and watch as their coach grills them. Dead center in the middle of the group is your best friend; and not surprisingly, he looks annoyed. However, the second he realizes you’re here, some of the negative energy seems to lift off him.

In fact, he looks like he’s about to walk towards you. The second he takes a step towards the bleachers, you hold up a hand for him to stop. You mouth stay, and thankfully he doesn’t try to come any closer.

A few minutes turns into thirty and thirty turns into an hour. By this point, you’re half asleep and ready to go home. Even though you’re tired, the team is still going hard at drills and throwing balls around. The sun has also started setting, casting the field in gorgeous golden hour. But despite the picturesque scenery, you really have to pee.

Realizing that your bladder comes before your comfort, you get off and catch Jeongguk staring at you. You point to the field bathrooms, near the parking lot, and he seems to get the idea. After you empty your bladder, you’re ready to give their football coach a piece of your mind. You’re tired, hungry, and you bet everyone else on the field is feeling the same way.

You’re close to the field, only behind the bleachers, when a figure comes out from the shadows. Jumping back, you’re about to scream when you realize who it is. “Kim Taehyung?”

He stands about ten feet away from you, hands shoved into his pockets. Dressed in dark jeans and a simple t-shirt, he looks too good to be true. “And you’re Jeon’s girl.”

“Again, I have a name,” you roll your eyes. “Also, what the hell are you doing here?”

“What? I can’t size up the enemy?” Taehyung runs a hand through his hair—which was still damp—and you can’t help but wonder if he just got out of practice too.

“You do know that practices are confidential, right?”

He takes a step closer to you, “If that’s the case, then why are you watching?”

“Because I go to school here,” you say and take a step back. He was beginning to make you dizzy. “And you don’t. So, you should leave before someone catches you.”

When he doesn’t say anything back, you reiterate that he should go. But Taehyung only stands there, staring at you. There’s no doubt your heart rate is escalating; but instead of focusing on that, you ask him what’s his issue is.

“Nothing,” he replies.

“Okay,” you frown, “I think I just heard their coach say practice is over, so you really should go.”

In the distance, a whistle blows three times, so you know you were right. Taehyung briefly turns towards the field before looking back at you. “I don’t want to get Jeon worked up anyway.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

You don’t get a reply because he turns around and walks away. Without even saying goodbye. What the hell? Why are you even thinking that? Shaking your head of all thoughts about Taehyung, you make your way around the bleachers and come face-to-face with Jeongguk.

His presence makes you jump. “Shit. You scared me.”

“Sorry,” he steadies you, “didn’t mean to.”

“Are you guys done? Your coach sure seemed like he was grueling you guys,” you say.

“Tell me about it,” he groans. “He really made us bust our asses out there.”

You crack a smile at his agony, “Well, if it helps, I had an awful practice too.”

The two of you laugh for a moment before reality sets back in. You grow quiet under Jeongguk’s scrutiny. A deep sigh leaves his lips before he asks, “What’s really going on with you?”

Well, you see, I am kind of interested in Kim Taehyung—yes, the guy you hate. And he was actually here, like not even five minutes ago. Do I know that he’s an asshole? Yes. Do I know the history you two have? Yes. Do I still want to be around him for some reason? Yes. “Umm…I kind of got a job.”

That truth is easier to admit.

Jeongguk’s eyebrows raise, “How do you kind of get a job?”

You bit the inside of your cheek. “Okay, fine, I do have a job.”

“Really?”

“Yeah…”

“So, were you going to tell me?” he asks.

You nod, “Eventually.”

“Why do you have a job?”

“Why is it so hard for everyone to believe?”

“So, you’ve told other people before me.”

You’re exasperated. “Only my parents and Yoongi.”

“Why did you tell Yoongi before me?” Jeongguk’s more upset than you thought he would be. Why is he so upset?

“Jeongguk, I literally just started working yesterday—yesterday! Why are you so angry?”

“Because I thought I was your best friend and we’re supposed to tell each other everything,” he says, and guilt begins to eat you up inside.

You feel guilty for many reasons. You’re guilty for making your best friend question your loyalty. You’re guilty for not telling him about your new job. You’re guilty for every thought you’ve had about Taehyung because you know that it would kill Jeongguk if he knew.

“You are,” you reaffirm him. “I only told Yoongi about the job because I told him I lied to you. And I only lied to you because I didn’t want you to worry about me—because you always worry.”

“What? I can’t worry about you now?”

“I mean, you can; but we aren’t twelve anymore, Jeongguk. I can hold my own.”

He sighs, “I know that. Look, I’m sorry for making you think that you couldn’t tell me, okay?”

“I’m sorry too.”

Jeongguk opens his arms wide for a hug, and even though he’s sweaty—and definitely stinky—you fall into his embrace anyway. For a brief second, you can understand why girls like him so much. His hugs are really great, but it truly feels like you’re hugging your brother more than anything. “Where are you working?”

You pull away from him, “At the diner on the edge of town.”

“Okay,” he says like he still doesn’t believe you have a job. “Why are you working?”

“Because of my mom. Her and dad are helping me with college, at least a little, but she wants me to start earning so I can pay for most of it myself.”

“Wow—your parents sure aren’t letting you get off easy, huh?” he laughs. “Maybe I should start working too.”

You bust out laughing, “Yeah, especially since your parents already put your older brother through college already.”

“I think they’re betting on this football thing to work out.”

Immediately, you sober up and take in the sudden shift of emotion. “You’ve been having recruiters come out to watch you since last season.”

“Still,” he sighs.

“You’re damn good,” you tell him with the hopes that he really understands. “You’ll play in college, so stop worrying so much.”

You don’t know if your words appease him, but your best friend manages to smile—that has to mean something, right? After a moment of silence, he lets you know that he should probably go back to the locker room already. “The team is probably wondering where the hell I went.”

“True.”

“Thanks for telling me the truth,” Jeongguk says, holding out his right hand. You roll your eyes before extending your own. The two of you do your “secret” handshake—the handshake you both created in middle school.

Doing the handshake results in another eye roll, but you also can’t help the endearing smile that graces your lips. “Why do you always insist on doing this stupid handshake?”

“Because this stupid handshake is epic and a symbol of our everlasting friendship.”

“Ha, okay,” you chuckle. “Whatever you say, Jeongguk.”

***

“Rumor is you’re a cheerleader at your school.”

Looking up from your notepad, you stick your pencil behind your ear before turning towards the voice. “Yeah, so?”

Behind you stands another waitress—her name is Cara—and you know that she goes to the same school as Taehyung. You only know this because every shift you’ve worked with her, all she does is talk about how hot he and the rest of the players on the team are. You totally agree with her observation, but it still irks you that she seems to know him better than you do.

“So, you must know Jeon Jeongguk well, yeah?” she asks. Oh, that’s what this is all about?

To you, it’s obvious she has no idea how close you actually are to Jeongguk. This was a good thing; if she knew you were his best friend, it would be over for you. “I mean, I guess…yeah. At school, everyone knows him.”

“What is he like?”

Oh god. “I don’t know…he plays football? Every Friday night? I don’t know what you want me to tell you.”

“Like, how is he at school? I’ve heard all the rumors about him, and I just want to compare him to Kim Taehyung,” she bats her eyelashes.

“Umm, you do know that they have this intense rivalry, right?”

Cara laughs, “Duh—that is all anyone ever talks about at school.”

You look around for an excuse to get out of this awkward conversation. Looking over her shoulder, you see her tables. “You know what? How about we talk later…I think they need you over there.”

The second Cara turns around, you make a run for it. You walk behind the counter and send a distress signal to Minji. She gives you a funny look and just laughs. “You’ll get used to Cara.”

“I’m not sure about that,” you say as the diner door chimes. Minji greets them before you can say anything, and lets you know that the person sat down in your section. “I’ll be back.”

Walking over to your section of the diner, you approach the stranger who just sat down in a booth. They’re seated back facing you, so you have a split second to prepare yourself. In your head, you settle for the basic hello-how-can-I-help-you introduction and pray that you don’t make a fool of yourself. Once you reach the booth, you pull the pencil from behind your ear and get your notepad ready.

“Hello, how can I help you?” you ask on cue, flipping your notepad to a clean page.

“You know, it’s not very polite to not look at the customer while you talk to them.”

“Excuse me?” you ask as you look up and meet the person’s gaze. You blink a few times to make sure he’s really in front of you right now.

He smirks, “Hey, Jeon’s girl.”

“Kim Taehyung,” saying his name out loud sends chills down your spine. “And for the thousandth time, I have a name.”

“You know what I realized?” he asks but doesn’t give you a chance to respond. “This is the third time we’ve met, but you haven’t told me your name yet. Some would say that’s a little rude.”

For a second, you don’t even know what to say to him. If you weren’t stupid, you would think that he was flirting with you. Or was he actually flirting with you and you’re just too stupid to realize? Before you can say something you’ll regret, you tell him your name. “Also, how can I help you?”

“How long have you been working here?” he asks, and then slowly adds your name as if it was an afterthought.

“Like a week,” you tell him. “So, not long at all.”

“Interesting. I frequent this place—only when I don’t have practice, of course. I assume you only work nights you don’t have practice as well, right?”

Are you really having another conversation with Kim Taehyung right now? “Yep.”

He picks up your short, clipped answer and frowns, “What? Not happy to see me?”

For some reason, you intrigue me; so obviously, I’m ecstatic. “It’s just a little weird, you know. We just met and I’ve seen you on three separate occasions in the same month—anyone would be weirded by that.”

“Because you’re Jeon’s girl?” Why does he keep referring to you as that?

“What’s with you and calling me that?” you ask, tilting your head to the side and leaning your weight on one side of your body.

Taehyung mimics your movement, a smirk stretching across his lips. “You’re dating him, aren’t you?”

It takes a moment for his words to set in; but when they do, you’re overcome with laughter. The throw-your-head-back-hit-yourself kind of laughter. You laugh so hard you almost fall over from the sheer force of overwhelming humor. Through the tears in your eyes, you see him look at you like you’ve lost your mind. Thank goodness there aren’t too many customers inside the diner at this hour.

“Are you okay?”

Once you finally compose yourself, you take a deep breath and flatten your lips. “Just peachy.”

“You going to tell me why you reacted like that?” he asks.

“Why do you think Jeongguk and I are together?” you ask, crossing your arms. “Why does everyone seem to think that?”

Taehyung narrows his eyes, “You mean you two aren’t together?”

“Jeongguk is my best friend—not my boyfriend. I’ve known him since we were babies. He’s like a brother to me.” You don’t know why you’re over-explaining, but the words just seem to flow out of your mouth. “We don’t like each other like that.”

“Are you sure about that?”

It was your turn to narrow your eyes, “What are you insinuating, Kim Taehyung?”

“I think one would have to be blind not to see the way Jeon is protective over you,” his lips stretch into an almost smile, though you notice it doesn’t reach his eyes. They remain aloof as ever. Why was it so hard to read him?

“I think you’re reading into things,” you retort. “Jeongguk only feels that way because he has this older brother complex—though I’m the older one in our duo.”

Turning your attention away from his unreadable face, you look back at the notepad in your hand and repeat your earlier question. Taehyung replies simply that he’d like a strawberry shake, which surprises you a little. The second you jot down his order, you quickly excuse yourself and practically run back to the counter.

Once you’re behind the safety of the counter, you expel the breath you’ve been holding and sink to the floor. He thought Jeongguk was my boyfriend. The thought swirls through your brain and makes you dizzy. It was both equally hilarious and strange that Taehyung had this notion. But what thrilled you even more was that he knew you were single.

“Why are you on the floor?”

You look up and meet Minji’s concerned gaze. “Huh? Oh—I’m just…” you panic. “…just admiring the…floor.”

“Uh huh…sure,” she says, “so it’s not because of that cute boy over there.”

“What cute boy?” You play dumb, but Minji only raises a brow. “I have no idea what you’re talking about…also, he ordered a strawberry shake.”

“Are you going to make it?”

It was your turn to raise a brow, “Uh…I’m merely a waitress at this establishment, Minji.”

“Come, I’ll teach you,” she practically drags you off the floor. “So, on slow nights like these, you can make them yourself.”

Minji does as she says and teaches you to make the most delicious looking shake you’ve ever seen. It even has the whip cream and cherry on top; it’s perfect. It’s also huge—and you wonder for a moment who in the world could even finish a monstrosity like this.

When you finally bring it over to Taehyung, a brief moment of—what appears to be—joy flashes across his face. The expression takes you aback; it’s weird to see him so unrestricted like that. But as quickly at the emotion comes, it leaves after you blink. And the Taehyung you’ve encountered these last few weeks returns. “What took you so long?”

“Oh, please—I was barely gone five minutes,” you huff, setting the milkshake on the table.

“Five minutes too long.”

You suppress the need to roll your eyes. “Whatever. Enjoy your milkshake.”

For the rest of the night, you don’t speak another word to Kim Taehyung—not even as you watch him finish his milkshake or when you bring him his check, and especially not when he brushes against you to leave the diner. What a werido, you can’t help but think. You have no idea what his problem is, but you just hope that he’ll leave you alone.

However, that little nagging voice in the back of your mind likes to remind you of one issue to that sentiment: you kind of like him, still.

Curse your heart for feelings things.

#armiesnet #btsbookclub #bangtan bookclub #taehyung fic #v fic #bts fic #bangtan fic #kpop fic #taehyung #kim taehyung #can you blame me #angst #xbaepsae

90 notes · View notes