#and it makes me sad :(

[thebibliosphere]

One of the really fun and interesting things about writing a polyamorous romance as someone who is ambiamorous/polyamorous is finding new ways to make sure the narrative hits the expected genre beats without just sort of... mushing it into a pre-existing monogamous romance mold, which is what I'm afraid happens a lot of the time.

Trust me, it was my job in the publishing house to make them fit that mold. I hated it.

Reading other poly-centric romances, I can always somewhat tell when someone is writing polyamory from a sexual fantasy aspect (zero shade; I'm here for all the group sex) without actually considering how it functions as a relationship dynamic, which can often come off as... well.

It's lacking for me as a romance.

Erotica-wise, it's fine. But it misses the romantic beats for me that I want as a polyamorous-leaning person.

There's so much emphasis on the polycule and never the individual dyads within the larger relationship.

For example, in a triad, there are actually four relationships to handle.

The dyad between A + B. The dyad between A + C. The dyad between B + C. And the overarching relationship between A + B + C.

With monogamous-leaning authors or authors that've been pressed into conforming to the pre-existing genre beats, there's a tendency to treat the relationship as a homogenous mass where everything is fair and equal, and you treat all your partners the exact same way.

And I get it. It's easier to write everything as peachy-keen and to have external conflict be resolved with either acceptance or a brave confrontation.

But it doesn't always land for me as someone who wants to see my style of love represented in the genre.

In healthy polyamory, either closed or open, each relationship is unique in its own way. Taking the example of a triad again, the way A acts with C likely differs from how A acts with B.

And that's a good thing!

Because C might not want the same things as B, so trying to treat them both the exact same is a surefire way to make sure someone isn't getting their needs met, and that will lead to conflict.

Polyamory isn't striving for equality between partners but rather equity.

What are your individual needs, and how do I meet them, as well as meet the needs of my other partner(s)? What do you want from the larger relationship as a whole? How do we accommodate everyone without making someone feel neglected or uncomfortable? How do we show this in the narrative? How do we make sure character A isn't just treating B the same as C in every interaction? Do they ever fall into that pitfall? How do they remedy it?

It seems like common sense when you write it out like that, but it's a major pitfall I see time and time again. The characters never alternate their approach between partners, if there's any focus on the individuals at all.

The other major telltale thing I've noticed is that taking time to be with one partner is seen as a step down from the "goal" of the greater polycule.

The narrative is framed in such a way that they might start out with individual dates, but the end goal of the romance is to eventually be together 100% of the time all the time, and wanting individual time alone with any one partner is somehow "lesser."

Which is the goal of romance in monogamy, but it's not the goal of romance in polyamory.

Granted, you do need to end on a Happy Ever After or Happy For Now for it to fit the genre requirement. And a nice way of tying that up is to have everyone together at the end as a happy polycule all together all at once. I'm not disputing that as a narrative tool. I'm just pointing out that there's a tendency to present those moments as the sum total of the relationship when in actuality, there are multiple relationships that need to end happily ever after.

The joy of polyamorous love is the joy of multitudes. It's the joy of experiencing new things, both as individuals and as a polycule. If you're not taking care of the individual dyads, however, your polycule is going to crash and burn. You cannot avoid that. So why, then, is there such avoidance of it in stories meant to appeal to us?

Is it simply inexperience on behalf of the author? Or is it that they're not actually being written for us? Is it continued pressure to meet certain genre beats in a largely monogamous-centric genre? All of the above?

Either way, I'm having fun playing around with it and doing all the things we were warned against in the publishing house.

I'm having fun with Nathan and Vlad enjoying their own private dynamic that is theirs and theirs alone. I'm having fun with Ursula and Nathan being so careful and vulnerable around each other. I'm absolutely 100% here for the chaos of Vlad and Ursula without a chaperone. And I'm here for the chaos of Vlad and Ursula together and Nathan's fond, loving eye roll as he trails after them, too enamored to tell either of them no because where would the fun in that be...

Anyway. Don't mind me. Just getting my thoughts out while everyone else is in bed.

#long post #rambling with joy #I see so many interesting stories just sort of... neglect the dyads in the end #and it makes me sad #I wish it happened less

[ishouldgay]

It’s been long enough! Enough people have gotten to act 3 to know that Shadowheart’s father is a lycanthrope and is either a really powerful one or had been born with the curse ( considering he is in control of his shifting which according to the Forgotten Realms wiki is something born lycanthropes can do )

Where is my Shadowheart werewolf art huh? Tiny little Shadowheart sitting by her father whose shifted so that she can stay warm by the fire? Tiny little Shadowheart hiding on his back as they walk the forest? Adult Shadowheart seeing his wolf form again and finally realizing that she never should have feared those wolf teeth???

Where’s my fics about how Shar not only stole her memory but twisted one of the only ones she had so much that she feared the last person that tried to defend her? Where’s Shadowheart’s realization that there’s a whole culture, as I can’t imagine lycanthropes don’t have a subset of rituals for worship under Selûne, that has been lost to her like everything else connected to her parents? Where’s the fics exploring her realizing that there is a real possibility that any children that carry her blood could possibly become the thing she literally feared most?

Or where’s my 100k where Shar’s influence kept Shadowheart from experiencing any kind of lycanthrope type feelings but whoops none the tadpole is effecting that and oh no Shadowheart is a werewolf now.

Please please please, we have a canon werewolf connection and I need Shadowheart werewolf content SO BAD

#shadowheart #baldur’s gate 3 #bg3 spoilers #I have not seen a SINGLE fan art of a shadowheart baby with tiny little fangs #and it makes me SAD

[lvrsparadise]

i can't scroll through my fkn tags anymore without seeing some smut and it genuinely pisses me the fuck off 🙄

like, what happened to the fluff?

where's soft boyfriend hcs???

what happened to hello??? how are you doing???

#l talks! #matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo #it's fucking annoying #and it makes me sad #i just want to read #abt cuddling w matt during a movie #or sum shit #😭

[snoozydnp]

and i wanna thank phil for reassuring us they're just joking and still like each other i need that thank u dad

#sometimes dan especially seems so resentful #and it makes me sad #i hope he doesn't really feel that way #but ig why would he stay w him for 14 years if he did #i have issues #dan and phil #dnp #phan #phil lester #amazingphil #daniel howell #dnpgames #dnpg #dan and phil games

[sluttery-withoutshame]

The expression on their faces makes it look like the moment they told Eric he was being replaced by Peter.

#and it makes me sad #eric singer #snack cake #swag master #pocket size drummer #kiss band

[dovewingkinnie]

i think i’m too used to my version of william because whenever i try and read fics about him i have to put it down he’s always so scary and MEAN 😢 this isn’t you william stop being WEIRD

#he’s never a loser in anything #and it makes me sad #😢😢

[youweremadetosoar]

“Not everyone who looks like a hero is a hero” hits so different when you look at the fact that Luke in the show adaptation looks an awful lot like what a 17 year old book Percy would look like. The dark curly hair, the genuine smile, the training honed body.

I think it also beings up the fact that it never really mattered who their godly parents were. They each chose to be either a hero or a villain regardless of what they looked like, what powers they had, or who’s child they were. All that mattered was what they chose, and Luke made his choice just the same as Percy made his.

#percy and annabeth #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson and the olympians #luke castellan #luke #choices #you can still choose #luke is cursed by the narrative #and it makes me sad #they deserve better #they each make choices and have to live with it together

[finngualart]

lived out in the countryside for about 3.5 years of my life and developed this habit of taking a picture of the view first thing in the morning. been back in the city for about a year now and i miss this so so much.

#photography #sunrise #dawn #taking a little moment for myself to appreciate the start of another day #and say hi to the sun #really gave my mental wellbeing a little boost #i need to get back into the habit of taking a little morning walk #instead of getting up and immediately switching on my pc to start working #it was easier at my old place because wouldn't you be eager to go outside if this view was there to greet you each day? #this house definitely had major downsides but gosh i dont think i'll ever live in a place again that will allow me to watch the sun rise #and it makes me sad

[270anahita]

no fanfic rin i've ever seen has felt quite like canon rin including my own and that's because nobody in this fandom gives zero fucks quite like rf "she'd feel perfectly comfortable pissing in front of kitay" kuang does

#fang runin #i can NEVER write tpw characters brutal and horrible enough. #and it makes me sad #homemade posts #tpw #the poppy war

[disabledpirate]

Do you think Izzy helped Ed paint his nails and build his blanket fort and helped him get out of his leathers into Stede’s robe so he’d be comfy

#because I do #and it makes me sad #and also amuses me that a talent show is where he drew the line #izzy hands #edizzy

[blauespikmin]

I really enjoy the glowmin, the ice fellas and Oatchi. Feeling a little sad for the bulbmins tho

#my art #obligatory Pikmin 4 fanart #Bulbmin won't ever come back #not with glowmin and oatchi around #and it makes me sad #pikmin fanart #pikmin #nintendo fanart #blue pikmin #rock pikmin #purple pikmin #white pikmin #ice pikmin #glow pikmin #oatchi #pikmin 4 #nature drawing #breakdancing ice pikmin

[candescentkpop]

Yunho

Ateez: Not Okay

Ateez Part 189 / ∞

#ateez #ateez not okay #yunho #i actually don't have any super clear shots of yunho from this mv #at least not proper close ups #and it makes me sad

[liarsghost]

Inmate 1315

#nanbaka #nanbaka jyugo #jyugo #Fanart #my art #I love this bitch so much #but this fandom is so dead #and it makes me sad

[duskbats]

eden became a vampire & moved to moonwood mill for the drama.

#ts4 #the sims 4 #simblr #ts4 gameplay #ts4 legacy #*eden james #alright so little whatever in the tags #i REALLY wanna play but i have little motivation #so this is all i've done so far #and it makes me sad #but yeah to preface #i don't have the motivation to dress eden up in their usual style rn #so she basically became a vampire #idk how yet maybe i'll go back to that #and changed their style to fit in more with the locals #they're not being very subtle about being a vampire tho #but she lives for the drama #so she's there to cause problems #and hopefully eventually fall in love with a cute werewolf ladie #the whole enemies to lovers trope #u love to see it #ts4 vampires #*v legacy: g1

[michaeltrevino]

KYLE + LIZ + ROSA Roswell, New Mexico | Two Sparrows in a Hurricane (4.12)

#roswell new mexico #kyle valenti #liz ortecho #rosa ortecho #roswellnmedit #kylevalentiedit #lizortechoedit #rosaortechoedit #michael trevino #amber midthunder #jeanine mason #rnm* #rnm 412 #rnm s4 #edits #i've waited since the s1 finale for there to be a scene of just the 3 of them #and in the 2nd to last episode ever for this show the writers finally delivered #i love them and the relationships they have with each other #and it makes me sad #that there would have been more of this in s5 #with kyle helping liz with her memory loss and rosa being her sponsor #stupid show #this should have been happening since s2 #so much wasted potential

[stargirl1331]

Today I realized just how much I’ve changed since 13 and it’s scary because I never wanted to grow up but I realized last week I’ve stopped viewing myself as a kid. I’m still young but I’m not a kid. I still don’t want to grow up.

#seeds in the garden #C how I circle #the realization came as a result of looking back at how I was in a discord server when I first joined vs now #I was one of the server kids really #I was so chaotic #I still am chaotic but I’m really a voice of reason now #and it makes me sad #a bit #I want to go back but I can’t #but it’s more that I wish I could have held on to that for longer