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ashknife · 3 years

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Low-Key Haikus: Exam Edition

I wrote these after spending nearly six hours writing essay answers for my master's degree comprehensive final. There are haikus within the haikus, and they all talk about studying and taking tests. Some liberties were taken about what those mean. Enjoy

Won’t people study? The exam will happen soon Procrastination

Recall everything Except for the right answer Imminent failure

Info dumped on paper Answering questions for grades Stressed environment

Tired students write on Stimulants fueling bodies Soon: The Crashening

Exasperated Not enough time to study The class marches on

Youth full of vigor Soul sucked dry to test knowledge Wasted energy

Operation Doom Exam headed to failure What? Easy answers?!

Ugh! I know this one! I went over this five times! I can’t remember!

Really lame answer Somehow it was the right one Why is school so weird?

Weird schedule of sleep Not conducive to study Yet we must study

Exam time is here Students gather for testing Cries of agony

Instructor tested Nine of ten assistants liked Student disapproved

Garbled instructions X, y, zs and 1, 2, 3s Who cares about trains?

His dog ate the test Hours of work mulched by the pooch Should have filled his bowl

Thoughts and prayers, y’all Final grades are approaching The stress of passing

Ingenious? Perfect! All answers totally right Yet pay is the same

No late test, mortal! Time limit must be obeyed The tardy must burn

Way to learn it all Test passed without incident Studious success

Overnight studies Just need one more fact crammed in Gotta learn it all

Retreat to nature Survival of the fittest Simpler than exams

Daunting questions, ho! Are train questions metaphors? The mind doest boggle

Study hard for tests No books, no notes, no mercy The righteous succeed

Regime of caffeine King of legal stimulants There shall not be sleep

Ends justify means Cheated answer is still right Teacher unconvinced

Caffeine-chained fools Delayed sleep comes at a price The Crashening comes

Addiction fiction Can stop coffee anytime But just one more cup...

Literate student Reading stories for long hours Five-minute question

Llamas go to school Llamas also have a test Llamas eat the test

Alpacas eat test Just like all the llamas do They are animals

Longingly we stare Freedom just outside the room Tick-tock. Why test, why?

Look at all those grades! Everybody studies hard Pizza party time.

Yowza! I missed one! The professor will fail me My career: derailed.

Overslept last night Cramming attempt is failure How’d I do so well?

Uber to coffee Must study all the night long The price of learning

Value active life Studying is real boring Playing ball is fun

Eats and treats: DQ Study break: burgers and drink And get a Blizzard

Feasting eyes on words Installing knowledge to brain Hard fault: brain is full

Of all the darn things Trains do not belong in math That’s what Dells are for

Ramen: student chow Dried noodles and seasoning Major carb nightmare

Gourmand not impressed Culinary exam fail Chicken can’t do that

Official results Two uses of passive voice All degrees revoked

Test your might, he says Punch through stone or diamond Break from Mortal Kombat

Tuck is an old word Something I found for haiku British slang for food

Examination blues My momma had done told me I ain’t studied right

Nudge, nudge and wink, wink Teacher don’t know weird gestures Are test answ--oops.

Study hard for grades Good grades mean bigger paychecks But in certain fields

To be or, well, not What does this mean in five words Small answer space

Understanding: good Not understanding: not good Testing haiku bounds

Proceed to next test Harvest the fruit of learning For our poor budget

Info tested hard Correct studies pass muster All else meet the flames

Dump information Final exams are over Don’t need this again

Last days of school here Sweaty summer approaches All burn to a crisp

Answer everything You know much more than you think Relax: it’s all fine

Sighted: good students Well-behaved and well-studied Being delinquent

Testing for knowledge Error: brain is inactive Eject? Yes or No?

Exhaustion rises Large exams are real tiring Brain work is hard work

Xtreme: not a word And yet you got the meaning Take that, exam lords!

Absolute study Just the facts, only the facts Except when they’re not

Madness! Insane tests! Explain the class in a phrase Use twenty sources

#poetry #low-key haikus #I get a kick out of experimenting with the form

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hpdabbles · 5 years

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Darry and “Well, /you/ weren’t who I was expecting.” please!

“But why do I have to do this?” Harry whines trailing behind Sirius who was fussing over the cuffs of his jacket suit for the fifth time. A few months ago, he would have never thought about whining too much with a guardian but ever since his Godfather crash into his life, screeching and forming around the mouth like his animagus form, a lot has changed for the young boy.

“Because, despite the fact I hate it too, this is a very important tradition in pureblood culture.” Sirius huffs. Once the older man gets his cuffs to settle he is twirling around to look over Harry’s outfit. He shakes his head, reaching forward to fix the collar until the Potter Family Chest is visible. It is adjusted to the Black Family Chest on the other side of Harry’s collar.

It feels awful like dog tags to identify who owns him.

“If we follow the traditions, at least the less supremest ones, we can find some allies. We need allies.” Sirius continues taking a step back. His face is twisted as if the words disgust him deeply which cracks a smile out of Harry. “All we have to do is show up. I’m not going to allow you to be trap in a stupid contract.”

Harry raises a brow. “You can stop them?”

“I’m the Head of the Noble and Ancient House of Black. There is very little I can do with that title.”

“Then why do we even need allies?”

Sirius sighs bending down so his eyes are at Harry’s eye level. It makes the boy aware of his small stature but in a good way. Almost all his life he had people looking down at him: his uncle, his aunt, his cousin and everyone in the neighborhood who believed he was no good.

Harry, in their eyes, was nothing but a mistake at best and a monster at worst.

Not Sirius. He always made an effort to look Harry on even grounds asking for his opinion and his thoughts acting like they mattered. With him, Harry felt like any other nine-year-old kid.

“We need allies because no man can do everything by himself. My title holds a lot of power but people are still wary of me, a lot of them truly believe I betrayed your parents and that I’m a Death Eater.” Sirius says gently but there is an undertone of frosty rage. It may be a little odd to notice things like that but Harry always used to look for the undertone in conversations. You never know what could set off Vernon. You had to watch out for the signs. “They think I paid my way out of Azkaban.”

“But you did pay you way out of Azkaban” Harry didn’t mean to point that out but the words came tumbling out of his mouth. It’s always been a problem for him quick like his fiery temper.

Sirius’ smile is proud like somehow Harry pleased him. It’s like mischief is what he strives on, happy to see it in any form. His godfather is weird like that “I’ll have you know I only persuaded a guard with a bit of gold to see if he could find the record of my trial. He’s the one that realizes there wasn’t a trial and brought it to the attention of the higher-ups. Very different brat.”

Harry attempts to make a doubtful face but the way Sirius is wagging his eyebrows has him giggling instead. His godfather grins, reaching out to rough up his hair and Harry actually leans into the touch.

“Now come. We have a ball to get to and it’s not proper to be late.” Sirius rolls his eyes voice turning to mock towards the end as he straightening up to his full height. He adjusts his top hat making his long wavy hair spill over to touch his shoulders.

Harry finds it weird that wizards dress in robes and Sirius is apparently rebellious for being in victorian era outfits even if they are still considered formal. As long as they are accepted it’s all fine.

His Godfather tilts his head walking the special way he taught Harry to step, graceful and no wasted effort.

You must walk as if though you are gliding. People can spot those without proper manners a mile away. You must learn to be graceful and walk with the importance of someone of your standing, Harry.

It took him a while but he learned how to be half as elegant as Sirius. There were still some days where he fell back into his old habits- shoulder’s slouching, steps too quick and pressing on his toes instead of his heels- but he likes to think he was getting better.

“A Potential Marriage Ball, where everyone tries to marry up. Oh, the joys of purebloods.” Sirius sighs shaking his head. Harry stumbles over his dress shoes- having dressed in a victorian fashion as well but with green color, theme compares to the red of his guardian- which makes him glare at the almost thoughtless way the older man walks.

It’s not thoughtless, it’s a lot of work!

“Is Mr. Lupin going to be there as your potential marriage?” Harry asks innocently just to watch his godfather trip over his graceful legs. He giggles again when Sirius attempts to fight off the blush as he pretends he doesn’t have a crush on Moony.

Harry thinks it’s stupid. Everyone with eyes can tell and that’s coming from him, who admits that he can be rather dense.

“Why don’t we drive around your old school and make people jealous of our money tomorrow? We can rent the most expensive limo and have the windows down.” Sirius suggests clearing his throat. Harry perks up. He loves it when he can rub it into all those peoples faces that now Harry was much better then they are.

He also recognizes it as a distraction from the conversation but takes the bait anyway. “Can we buy ice-cream too?”

“Sure.”

The ball is supposed to be his formal introduction to the Wizarding world. Harry has been with Sirus for months but he has been kept out of the public eye only being allowed one guest, Remus Lupin, to visit him.

Sirius had wanted to get them both comfortable around each other and prepare Harry for his fame and role as the Boy Who Lived. It still boggles his mind that he’s famous.

The ball when they walk in is the most magical thing he’s ever seen. The ballroom is lightened with flouting candles, all that hover around the top of the room near a sparkling glass chandelier. The light bounces off the glass through sparks along the walls.

The entrance is at the top of stairs, which gives the whole view of the room, and everything is a level lower, spreading out into a wide dance floor of marble. There seem to be house elves walking around offering floating trays to guests, while classical music plays but he can’t see any bands. He doubts the high-class wizard world has speakers so the music must be a charm.

People are waltzing near the big windows in the far back while on the right side tables are set up. To the left, the area is reserved for conversating. Harry can see kids in all these but even they move more gracefully then Harry.

He swallows a gulp.

All-around him people in expensive robes and dresses mingle, some with shimmering jewelry and others in makeup. Harry personally thinks most of the men with makeup have nothing on Sirius’s eyeliner and red lipstick.

Padfoot is the most attractive male in the room, and he walks down the stairs well aware of it. Harry hurries behind him, aware of multiple stares after the little house elf shouts “The Head of the Noble and Ancient House of Black with his Heir have arrived. Presenting Lord Sirius Black and Heir Harry Potter”

“Remember your lessons,” Sirius whispers to him while they move down the wide stairway. “Try to not offend anyone but don’t let them walk all over you. Please dance with one person before the night ends. And remember, I love you no matter what.”

“I love you too.”

As soon as they make it to the bottom of the stairs Sirus is surrounded by people who wish to say hello after so many years apart. His godfather greets them with a charming smile, easily sidestepping the pointed questions and passive-aggressive comments with ease. They crowd coo and aww over Harry congratulating him and staring at him like he’s a prize to be won. It makes him shiver.

Harry slips away the moment he sees an opening and makes his way to the other side of the room, ducking underneath dancing pairs until he can find a nice little nock in the windows sills to hide. He’s out of sight and unless people search for him deliberately no one will find him.

One useful skill he picked up from the Dursleys at least.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Harry slumps. The lessons that Sirus attempting to stuff in his head - walking, breathing, speaking, manners, traditions,- all flew from his head the moment he was surrounded. He no doubts just made it harder for them to get allies.

Sirius would have to do some serious damage control. He feels very ashamed of himself for making things harder for Padfoot when their situation is bad enough as it is.

They need allies, allies with influence because of the Ministry. They have been in waiting to look for any reason, any hint, of Sirius, messing up and dragging him back to Azkaban or at the very less take Harry away from him.

Neither wanted this, but they needed the backing of powerful families should it does come to a legal battle. And now, because of him, there may have gone any help they could get.

Harry feels tears prick at his eyes suddenly filled with dread that he may have to go back to the Dursleys. He’s doesn’t want to go back. Please don’t make him go back. Don’t take Sirius away. Please please please, please-

“Well, you weren’t who I was expecting” A voice breaks through his haze of fear. Blicking through tears Harry sees a boy his age at the entrance of his little nook. He’s wearing grey robes, resembling liquid mercery, and a family crest on his collar tells Harry he’s an Heir. Of what family he’s not sure.

The boy is also really pretty. His hair is so fair it almost seems white, with pretty clear skin and storming grey eyes.

He’s looking Harry up and down. The pretty pureblood seems unimpressed “I didn’t think the Boy-Who-Lived would find my hiding place. Mother swore no one would know- hey are you okay?”

There is little space between them so when the boy raises his hand to wipe a trail of tears off Harry’s face, he steps into his personal bubble. This makes Harry stiffen. He likes it when Sirius or Remus touches him, but not when others- especially people he isn’t sure won’t hurt him - do it.

He doesn’t push him away, however, because he doesn’t want to make things worse for Sirius. And the boy is actually really nice, his eyes are soft with worry, almost like he cares. He’s seen some kids in school look like that with their friends but he’s never had someone he’s age do the same to him.

Harry feels more tears fill his eyes.

“Don’t cry.” The boy continues gently taking Harry’s hand. “Are you lost? I can help you find your way.”

“N-no” Harry hiccups frustrated with himself. “I’m fine.”

The boy stares a little more before one his thumbs run over Harry’s knuckles in a soothing motion. “Alright. You can stay. I’ll allow it. My names Draco Malfoy.”

“Ha-ary Po..tter” Harry gasps out through his hitching breath. Draco tugs his hand until they find a seat on the window shills, the large pillar keeping them out of sight.

“It’s lovely to meet you,” Draco tells him still holding his hand and Harry smiles just a bit. “Do you like Quidditch?”

“A little. I play with my godfather sometimes. My favorite position is Seeker”

“Mine too.” Draco smiles please and the Harry swears the music must have timed it because at that moment it syncs up to play a light-hearted melody that fits the glow of his face. He can’t look away.

He squeezes the hand in his palm and is thrill by the squeeze he gets in return. Did he just make his first-ever friend?

For the rest of the evening, Draco and Harry talk about things the boys like and the hours’ tick by. They eventually switch to games, verbal ones and ones they can play with their hands - Draco is determined to win at rock, paper, scissors even though Harry refuses to let him add in Wand because it’s too powerful- and the fear he felt at the began chips away.

Eventually, a woman appears at their hiding place with a very put upon frown. Draco twists his head up from where he’s attempting to do a handstand with Harry holding his knees to his chest to give him room. He claims he could do it and Harry had called his bluff.

“Mother!” The Malfoy blurts tumbling forward with a blush. “I was ugh that’s to say-I’m. This…this is Harry Potter! Harry this is my mother.”

“It’s very lovely to meet you, ma’am,” Harry says remembering to wave his wrist in a slight twirl like Sirius told him to do when meeting female purebloods. Once he’s older, he’s supposed to kiss their hands. He thinks….or was it the other way around?

She gives them both a long look before her face clears. “It’s lovely to meet you as well Mr. Potter. Draco, darling, you have yet to dance and the night is almost full.”

Draco flushes more looking down at his feet as if though he’s been scowled but Harry had picked up the amuse undertones in her voice. She’s not angry at her son, she’s just teasing. Still, he finds himself saying. “That’s my fault! I kept Draco here all night. I’m sorry,”

“It’s quite alright.” She says tilting her head. Harry doesn’t like the calculating look in her eye. “I assume this means your dance card is empty as well? Would you do Draco the honor of being your first partner? He’s quite the catch.”

“Mother!”

It takes a moment to remember what that means. He just stares up at her in confusion before he snaps. “Yes! Yes, it’s empty.”

He turns to the mortified Draco. Sirius did ask him to do one dance and he thinks it’s nice to dance with a friend instead of a stranger. “Do you want to dance with me?”

Draco’s whole face turns red. “Y-yes?”

Mrs. Malfoy makes a slight cooing noise before she ushers them out into the crowd. Harry pulls Draco’s hand until they are on the dance floor and they start a Walz. It’s a simple one since the Potter Heir hasn’t been taking lessons on this topic for long but Draco’s just as two left feet as him- the reason he hides at balls apparently- and they end up laughing through the whole thing.

Harry can’t stop staring at the prettiest boy he’s ever seen spin in the candlelight with a wide smile. Sirius throws him a thumbs up when Harry gestures at the Malfoy mouthing I made a friend! and the man looks genuinely pleased.

Somewhere he hears Mrs. Malfoy say. “Lucius go fetch the Pensieve. I must never forget this night!”

Harry whole-heartily agrees with her.

#Anonymous #dabblecentral #The Wrong Sort of First Meeting Starters meme #Darry #Fluff #MP Ball #Harry makes his first friend at age 9 #Draco gets his frist crush at age 9 #Sirius is doing his best #You need to network #Narcissa thinks it's plain adorable #Everyone trying to trap everyone in a engament #But is lowkey terrified of Sirus #Sirius is the jewel of the Ball #Background wolfstar #Raising Harry #Both boys can't dance #(Under a read more cause it got away from me)

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ultraericthered · 4 years

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Star Driver

my favorite female character - Kanako Watanabe. I adore Wako, Mizuno, Marino, Simone, Benio, Sarina, Ruri, Keito, Fish Girl, etc., but the President is just in a class of her own.

my favorite male character - Sugata Shindo. I liked him and his stance on loving relationships since the start, but he also had the most interesting development and struggles throughout the series, so I couldn’t not have as mad respect and appreciation for him as Takuto does by the end.

my favorite book/season/etc - There is only one Star Driver.

my favorite episode (if its a tv show) - Too fucking easy - episodes 15 and 16, “Shrine Maidens of the Seal” and “Takuto’s Emblem.” While “The Rainbow Painted That Day” and “Our Apprivoiser” are in the running, even they don’t come close to the amount of feelings I got from that two part finale to the Mizuno and Marino arc of the anime’s midsection. Seeing them for the first time, back to back on the same night, was a very special viewing experience, as I remember feeling just blown away by the time episode 16 ended and the credits were rolling. No other point of the show hit quite as hard when it came to pure emotional sincerity and personal stakes.

my favorite cast member - 9nine and Scandal for their abso-fucking-lutely amazing songs.

my favorite ship - Takuto/Wako/Sugata OT3. What else? Though admittedly, this show offers a lot of good polyamory relationships.

a character I’d die defending - WAKO. I still boggles my mind that there are people who hate her and miss the whole point of her relationships with other characters to such a great extent.

a character I just can’t sympathize with - I think I was meant to feel for Ryousuke whenever details of his past came up, but instead I mostly found myself wanting to slap him upside down the head and get him to try to stop his shitty toxic friend from being shitty and toxic. Like, dude; your fiancee left the island because of Tokio. Her offspring that she had with him is now on the island and is the Galactic Pretty Boy, and Tokio wants to KILL HIM. Why don’t you fucking DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT, YOU PASSIVE, ENABLING TOOL?

a character I grew to love - Wako, Keito, and Head all come to mind - Wako because I’d assumed she’d be a character I’d just like alright as opposed to absolutely adoring like I ended up doing, Keito because she was a character I loathed in the first two thirds but found myself wanting to like more and more in the final third (I’m so glad the movie showed us that she reconciled with Wako and Sugata, that was all I’d wanted!), and Head because I went in expecting him to be a decent anime villain and was continuously delighted to see that he was, in fact, an excellent one.

my anti otp - I’ve got three of them - Madoka/anyone (Kou is literally the only person shown to be able to manage and handle her properly), Tokio/anyone (I like his dynamics with Ryousuke and Fish Girl, but ultimately his true love is himself and his own childish wants), and Sugata/Keito (Keito’s idea of a two person romance where she could have Sugata all to herself was framed as WRONG).

#Star Driver #anime #opinion #meme

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whoaimhellatrash · 5 years

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I don't really know where to put this except here but I need to get everything out. I'm putting it under a cut, no one needs to read it, but I just need to yell into the void for a while and on the off chance someone else is in this deserted Denny's parking lot at 4 am then cool beans you do you.

I have spent the last 4-5 years of my life doing nothing but self exploration. Honestly I’m sure a lot of people can relate, mid-late middle school to late high school is when people actually stop for a minute and think “who am i?”

So many of these thoughts are influenced by the world around you, which in our society is so goddamn dangerous honestly. With so many influences like toxic masculinity, the disrespect of women, the racism the phobia the models and photoshop, it’s all so toxic for people just trying to discover who we really are. I think my identity was so fucking out of left field and so new and so wrong for others that it put me so harshly through the wringer that I earned self awareness. Through the immense pain and pressure, I was forced to stop and think, to consider, how much of this is me and how much of this is my parents, my society, how much of myself has been put here by others instead of molded by myself. Like a piece of coal turning to a diamond by sheer pressure, my perspective of myself and the world drastically changed.

It’s honestly still changing, and i doubt it’ll stop, I don’t want it to stop. I want to keep changing my views with the times, I want to keep discovering new things about myself and others, but this desire came with a price, as did my self awareness.

Back in mid to late middle school, my memory is muddled I wont lie, I had discovered sexuality and the fluidity of it, or at least a small piece of it. It was so mind boggling to me that at 7 in the morning, on the bus ride to school, I told a senior from my neighborhood about it with just this sparkling delight of curiosity and excitement in my eyes. I remember reading, on that dark, quiet bus, the definitions of bisexual, homosexual, demi, and pan which i ended up identifying with the latter for a long time.

This moment, these precious few moments on a bus, was the first push of a snowball down a long hill of self discovery. I remember coming out as pan in my school and watching, one by one, several more of my friends come out as Bi and gay. It was something i reveled in, knowing that I helped that cascade. I was lucky, not being faced with bullying for my sexuality in particular, but I hadn’t come out to anyone truly important and I wouldn’t for a while.

When I met my best friend (going on 6-7 years now) they introduced me to the idea of trans. I had never put thought into it before but I decided that maybe I wanted to try it out. Deep down in the pit of my gut, i knew i hated who i was. I wasn’t comfortable, i wasn’t..right. I always pulled my hair up in a pony tail, i couldn’t stand it being down, i never wore dresses or skirts unless i was forced to do so for a dance, i just couldnt stand the femininity of it. I liked the power and confidence of looking good but it just..wasnt the right kind. It never felt like it was right. I constantly wore baggy hoodies to hide my body. I thought maybe it was my weight, I starved myself, as in only eating a few cheerios and an apple maybe for an entire 30 hours. I fainted in class from low glucose levels. Nothing I tried helped and in fact made everything so much worse.

I was finally ready to try something else. I was genderfluid at first, i tried they/them and i found I liked it, but when i tried he/him I thrived on it. It felt comfortable and right and I never wanted to give it up. I never came out to my middle school friends.

My freshman year of high school I had decided that I was going to live out all four years as Dave. As myself, as someone who i was comfortable with, then once those four years were up, I would go back into the closet and live my life as the perfect little girl, the sweet, precious golden child like I had been forced to be for all of my life. It was at this time that my depression was at it’s worst point.

8-9 grade became a dead blur. It was around this time that my sister was diagnosed with depression. My mom knew nothing, she genuinely believed some fast food would make my sister not sad anymore. My sister began going to therapy. After a long battle with myself and my deeply ingrained desire to be the perfect kid who never is a bother or a pest, I asked my mom for therapy too. My therapist was not good for me, i didn’t realize what my problems actually were, she was treating surface issues, not the source. I realize that now and I’ve expressed this fact to my current therapist, but at the time I wasn’t aware and I had no way to ask for a different therapist because apparently it was “So hard finding a therapist to treat me oh and so much harder to find a psychiatrist.” I understand that my mom doesn’t want to feel as though she’s failed, that her child is suffering, though I don’t believe she understood or understands that although I’m suffering, the best remedy is to let me have help. But, on the other hand, being so put down, so ostracized, so passive aggressively hated for wanting help stood to do nothing but encourage me to isolate myself and develop destructively dependent relationships on my friends.

I got medication at some point, according to others it turned me into a flat zombie, I remember nothing around this time. It stabilized my mood but it stabilized it at the lowest possible point. It was somewhere in this time that I attempted suicide, I self harmed, I was destructive and even more so than I had been in middle school with my starving. I fought day in and day out about my gender. I fought with teachers who used it against me, students who didn’t believe me, and for a long time I was all alone except for the few friends I had who were all over the country.

I felt like I was living a double life, i still feel like it. I’m Dave with everyone else, and a perfect daughter to my family. In sophomore and junior year I picked myself up. I found more friends, more of them began to question their gender identity too. Whether I started this self discovery early or if I was the one that sparked theirs, the world was gaining color and clarity. Part of it may be caused by the fact that I had quit my meds cold turkey (in hindsight not a good idea, dont ever do that kids, it’s dangerous), I came out to my mom then my dad as Pan (didn’t go over well but I was out) and I had begun to surround myself with people I really enjoyed and who were a much more positive influence on me.

I have so many positive memories of my friends, going to concerts, being idiots and smoking weed, hanging out every morning and just talking. As hard as everything was, I can say that I had times where I was genuinely happy. But every day, every single day, I had internal battles going on. Fighting tooth and nail not to relapse and start self harming or starving myself, fighting to get out of bed in the morning and go through my routine. Every morning I sat on the edge of my bed and stared at my binder, the thing that was helping me survive yet destroying me too. I sat and stared and wondered “how long am I going to have to put this on? Will I ever be comfortable enough to stop?”

A lot of things changed. My mood increased bit by bit, I found my own coping mechanisms, I learned how to be marginally healthier, my grades picked up, I became an unstoppable force, fueled by determination and pride and spite, I was going to succeed because I wanted to. Because I wanted to speak my mind, to not be a doormat, I wanted to be strong and powerful and to have a grip on my own life.

Yet, even with my newfound confidence, I was still struggling so deeply. Mid sophomore year my sister started to transition. It hurt. It hurt so deeply and profoundly. This woman, who had been nothing less than a destructive hurricane in my life, who had done nothing but destroy because that’s the only side of me she ever showed, was somehow being given the gift of transitioning.

I had fought with myself, tried to convince myself that if my sister was being given support, i would too. Besides, my mom had already found out because I was being called Dave by all my teachers and friends.

I didn’t get the reception I was hoping for.

“You know if you pick this lifestyle your entire life is going to be harder. Everything is going to be worse, you’re going to have to struggle so much more through life. You might never reach the success that you want to reach.” I was devastated. I basically crawled back into the closet, my gender coming up sparingly.

Everything leading up to this time in my life, everything i’ve shared, everything I haven’t, all of it has led up to this and now I’m at a crossroads. It’s the later end of my senior year. College is right around the corner, so are jobs and careers and life, and now I have a choice. Maybe I don’t.

When I started high school, when I decided I would come out to my teachers and my friends, when I decided to live this life, I also decided I would box myself up by the end of it all, to move forwards in life as a good little girl after this, to get it all out of my system now. Now I see, now I’ve decided that that’s not an option, it never was an option. I’ve been growing so much, and I don’t intend to stop, I’ve learned ways to help myself, how not to be so self destructive, how to be kinder and gentler to myself and others. I want to be someone who is compassionate and caring but still strong and not a pushover. I think i’ve begun to achieve that, I still have lots more to do and a long way to go but I’m getting myself help, I’m actively trying in therapy, I’m being more self aware in my relationships, I’m building bonds and trust between the people I care about and I’m trying to make my life better, but I can’t go through building this new life while denying myself such a massive aspect of who I am?

Who am I going to be?

How long can I live this lie of who I am on one hand while trying to define myself on the other?

The world says I have time but my heart says it’s ticking away.

#tw suicide #tw // negative #gender #trans #trans story #tw depression #pupper barks #ignore me in my sorry sap corner

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thegreymoon · 5 years

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Sorry, You didn't really say or do anything to make me think that you are Asian. I thought that I read sth in your lj where u said that you were and just run with it. It was a long time ago and I must have misread. Also, you don't really post a lot political stuff, it is more like I notice it more because when I visit your page I skip all Merlin related stuff and am interested in the rest so again my fault. As for my ise of imaginary- yeah, it was passive agressive, altough not intentionally so

… my bad. I rarely engage in political conversations online because it never ends well, especially when my views clash with 90% of tumblr users so I am used to combative tone and it was unnecessary.. As for SJW I am not sure if that is dissmissive term as it discribes the “movement” well? I am not native speaker and am aware that it can be used as derogative term, but was also convinced that it is used by people on the left if political spectrum. I asked you why you are mainy interesetd in USA because I was working under the assumption that u are Asian it seemed to me weird that a person coming from China/Japan etc would be championing social justice in USA when it not that big of a problem(or at all IMO) whie ignoring very real problems in their own country. But since you are not Asian and you post political stuff rarely you are right it is a silly discussion. The fault is completely on my side. I am allergic to these kind of stuff and you are one of my favourite writers so I exaggerated. Once again sorry.

As for the rest of your response: I also come from relatively poor country that was screwed over by both Britain and USA and many other countries, and I don’t agree with many of their policies (or most) but I don’t hate them and believe that as much as people like to say they start wars for the oil etc it is not really true. There are many political and global players and everyone single country is motivated by greed it is only that not every country can exercise their power.

Relatively they are not the worst, it is just that since USA tries to paint themselves as heroes they are held to different, much higher standards than other countries. To sum it up, I am not defending their foreign policies, they have done a lot of wrong and are shortseighted but I still think that are better than other superpowers that will soon take over like China or maybe India. Also, I don;t understand why would you include global warming in your answer?why do you believe it is their fault

I am trying to leave as “green” as I can, I am a vegetarian and I believe we should do everything to preserve environment, but I wouldnt want my country to sign any deals concerning CO2 emission as long as other countries do not do the same. Otherwise, they would just cripple their economy and not help the world? As for Trump(if you are still interested) I find him the epitome of self-important, conceited stereotypical american but still so much better than alternative and despite distaste. would still vote for him. Because he at least apppears to be anti globalist and has a much higher moral ground than Hillary. what are his SPECIFIC actions that you find so abhorrent? Anyway, what I alluded to in my message was not politics of USA but the social justcie issues, like support BLM or me to movement(I am not sure if you posted enything regarding that, so srry if I presume wrongly) which I find are absolutely not based on facts and despite that people still perpetuate that, and if u don’t agree you are racist and sexist. No arguments whatsoever. It is also silly to me when I see the posts about the West being this cesspool of sexism while honour killings or FGM is nearly a non issue on social media or racism when considering the West is still the least racist place in the world when you compare it to China/India/SA or any other place. So, I find the social media effort to be misdirected and controlled by emotions. Even the indigineous people issued you mentioned. Americans get so much shit for their history, while pretty much every single country that exist was created by conquering or displacement of the previous population(u just have to go far enough down the history). So, yeah wht happend to Indigenous people and dissappearance of their whole civilization is a great tragedy but not the first and unfortunately not the last in human history. Why are we hearing about it but not about Anuit people or Persian or Byzantians? it is so imbalanced. Ok, anyway, sorry for the rant it shouldn’t be directed at you and tumblr is definitely not the place for it. Sorry if I offended to you. As I said I love your writing, “DC” is my all time favourite fic, and because I creepely once read through all of your lj(including asks and responses) I(like an internet creep and stalker)liked you and thought you seemed smart, well balanced and knowledgeable so I guess I felt entitled to to make the ask. Wish you all the best in life.

No worries, I’m sorry I came off so aggressive in my answer. I did actually live and work in China for a while during my LJ days and it’s entirely possible I may have tagged myself as being there on my fandom profiles at the time. It was a happy period for me and I talked about it a lot to anyone who had the patience to listen, so it’s very plausible that you have read something about it on my LJ! I’m very sorry if it was misleading, but I was only ever an expat there!

I used to be a lot more open about my real name and real-life dealings in fandom communities, but that almost backfired spectacularly, so I locked down a lot of stuff because it could do me quite a bit of damage.

OK, I concede your point that if you remove the Merlin stuff, a lot of what is left on my Tumblr is going to be either me reblogging cats or raging about social injustices (oops) 😅

I’d just like to make it clear that I absolutely do not hate either the USA, the UK or any other country in the world. Like I said, people are people, and disgusting policies are disgusting policies and every single country is guilty of them. It’s just that some have a bigger impact and are more visible. My own country is a source of so much shame and anger for me, it far outweighs anything the UK and the USA could have ever done because it’s personal, but our nonsense is just not something that I come across when casually scrolling through Tumblr, so I don’t reblog it. It’s possible to love a nation and its people and still be critical of the evil they have done.

Also, let me just clarify that I’m bothered by all injustices and human rights violations everywhere, but usually there isn’t a post about them when I’m scrolling at 2 am at night that I can reblog. The USA is just… low hanging fruit, and let’s face it, from where I stand, hating on their president, the white supremacists, the Nazis, fundamental Christians, racists and the Republicans in general after what they have turned into is not hating on the USA, but rather cheering on the sane part of the country to get rid of this toxic waste ASAP. The same goes for Brexiteers in the UK and I am so, so sad for all the people that are going to suffer because of it.

Of course, I’m aware that China and Japan have issues and human rights violations that are mind-boggling, but again, they just don’t appear on my dash very often, or at least not in English or from a source I can easily fact-check. The Japanese and Chinese stuff I follow is mostly art, nature and pictures of pretty clothes. My knowledge of either of these countries is very superficial compared to Western countries, which impact me directly, so it really isn’t my place to appoint myself as a champion of human rights in the Far East when my own country and continent are a growing dumpster fire that cannot be contained.

On the subject of global warming, I’m not blaming the USA (entirely, because they, of course, played their part, but so did the rest of humanity). I’m enraged by their governing body’s rhetoric as of late, the denial of climate change, every single action that Trump took since taking office (such as withdrawing from the Paris climate agreement), him making ignorant, snide remarks in the middle of the polar vortex just days ago while people were suffering, deliberately sabotaging scientists and spreading dangerous, false information when each and every single country should be all-hands-on-deck if we want to avert a disaster of global proportions (especially with all the signs pointing to us being too late already). Nobody is suggesting that the USA should unilaterally reduce carbon emissions, all countries in the world must do it and develop the technology to make it feasible to convert to clean energy. And yes, the USA, China and other giants have to lead the way because they are the ones with the power! My poor, tiny country is not the one that can impact anything, so yes, the USA is absolutely more responsible to lead the way forward, but instead of at least moving in the right direction, Trump is deliberately lying and sabotaging all effort because he likes the money he gets from Big Oil companies, and he’s giving a platform to religious nutcases for votes, who think that there won’t be a global disaster of epic proportions in the near future because God promised Noah he would never again flood the entire Earth in the Old Testament. It’s not even the outright evil that is bothering me the most right now, but the mind-numbing stupidity.

I have nothing but loathing for both of the Clintons. They have caused so much destruction in my country and I do not want good things for either of them, ever. I will never pretend that Hillary Clinton is anything even resembling a good person because you do not reach that level of power by having a conscience, but at the very least, she is not a rapist and paedophile that the general public knows of (which is more than we can say for her husband, btw). Trump has no moral high ground whatsoever, IMO. He has done everything imaginable, from scamming charities (this was proven in court) to raping minors (see Epstein). He has no redeemable human characteristics and is not even intelligent enough to pretend that he does, which is at least one thing that Hillary has going for her. I’m not going to sit here and list all the reasons why Trump is abhorrent because a) it cannot fit in a Tumblr post b) I would be sitting here for years.

I will also not engage in discussion about whether or not BLM is a valid movement, ever. I don’t understand what you mean when you say it isn’t based on ‘facts’. Which, facts are in doubt, exactly? It’s based on multigenerational, still ongoing trauma and persecution of an entire race of people! I’m neither black nor an American, but I believe African-American people when they talk about the terror they experience on a daily basis in their own country. I have eyes and I have ears, I know plenty of white people and have insight into how they think because I too am white and have been raised with similar bullshit. I have lived in Africa for years and seen things with my own eyes. I will never not take the side of black people when they protest racism anywhere and I will never not believe them when they talk about police brutality, race-based violence and systemic racism in countries built on slavery.

Of course, I’m not saying racism doesn’t exist in other places and in other forms, but talking about one does not negate the other.

Also, I don’t understand the point you’re trying to make about the West not being sexist because other places have it worse? I’m sure I misunderstood this, so forgive me if that is the case. FGM is terrible, yes, but that in no way invalidates other types of gender violence that still ruins the lives of countless women. Just because the women in, say, Saudi Arabia have it worse, that doesn’t mean that the women here or in the USA should not talk about issues that directly affect them (and, btw, I have absolutely been outraged about Saudi Arabia and FGM and shared posts about both). All are bad! This is not a competition.

On the topic of you saying that America gets so much shit for its history, which you think is unjust, I have to mention that European settlers killed up to 95% of Native Americans in some areas in relatively recent history. Just days ago, I was reading an article about how they killed so many people, it actually changed the global climate! This is genocide on such a massive scale, my brain can’t even comprehend it, and yet here we are today, with Columbus Day and Thanksgiving as holidays while the surviving Native Americans suffer all kinds of indignity and discrimination, so no, I don’t think we are talking about it enough and I feel that America deserves all the shit it gets for its history. IMO, it is not getting enough shit! The fact that there are other issues out there that need to be talked about too and are being silenced does not in any way take away from any of this.

Anyway, let’s not argue about which country is The Worst™ and which human rights issues are more worthwhile than others because that is pointless. We already agree that all governments are corrupt, that evil happened and is still happening all over the world and that all human rights issues are important. I firmly believe that if they were to be evaluated by a psychiatrist, 99% of all high-ranking politicians would be diagnosed with serious clusters of antisocial personality disorders. Most of them would do anything and the only thing stopping them is whether or not they can get away with it. The remaining 1% cannot really do much and keep both their conscience and political power intact.

In any case, the last thing I want in life is to get into Tumblr discourse with LJ people, so how about we just put this behind us? Let’s agree to disagree on who is worse, Trump or Hillary, because that is a pointless disagreement, especially since neither of us is an American and this is getting out of hand. I feel like we are actually miscommunicating and talking about different things. We seem to be arguing different points, so all of it is coming off worse for both of us than it really should be. Also, I wish you hadn’t sent me this ask anonymously, because I now have no way of responding to you except publically, and Tumblr is seriously not a good place for this.

On a happier note, I’m very glad that you enjoyed DC! I’m very sorry for the extremely long hiatus! Unfortunately, I’ve been going through things that stopped me from writing for a long time. I hope that one day I can still come back and finish that story, in spite of everything! Have a good day/night! :)

*hugs*

#social issues #Anonymous #tl;dr

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calliecat93 · 6 years

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Callie Reviews: TMNT 2012 Season One (Part One)

Ever since 1984, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise has gone form a cult-status indie comic to a massive mass market. There have been various comics, movies, video games, merchandise, and of course cartoons. And it’s easy to see why. TMNT’s concept, a group of mutated teen turtles fighting evil in New York, is both incredibly bizarre and incredibly appealing to a mass audience. You have action, science fiction, martial arts, and of course plenty of mutant ideas to make toys out of. The fact that this Fall will be releasing the fourth animated TMNT series and that a new movie series is in production shows that even over 30 years later, this is a franchise that is far from losing it’s power.

As a kid, I of course knew that Turtles as a thing and I even watch parts of 2k3. But I was never really a fan until the day I stumbled upon the 2012 show. I fell in love with it and, since it started when I was just starting this blog, it was a huge focus for me for several years. I have since moved on and while I’m going to check out the 2018 show, I don’t think I’m going to be as crazy as I was with this show (but never say never). Back in 2012, I was someone who... lets say ignored the flaws and defended the show far too passive aggressively to the point that looking at my older stuff makes me want to blow up by blog.

Nowadays, while some of my opinions hold true (like the ‘Donnie is a stalker’ accusations are still bullshit), I am more willing to admit the shows problems, especially now that I can take the show in fully. I also like to believe that I’ve become a better reviewer since I was 19 years old, plus it had been far too long since I went back over the show form the very beginning. So does the show still hold up? Will 25 year old Callie feel differently than 19 year old Callie did? Well we’re about to find out. This is the TMNT 2012 Season One Review!

The Premiere (Episodes 1-2)

Our story begins with a training sequence that introduces us to the titular Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello, and Michelangelo. Along with some minor character establishment, like Mikey being the funny one and Raph the violent one, the biggest thing here is one of the shows strengths: the choreography. It’s best exhibited in Leo and Raph’s duel. The movements are very fluid and well-paced. It’s fast, but not too fast, it’s enough to move things along but still let you take in all the impacts. It’s very well done. Raph ends up winning and we are introduce to the boys mentor and father, Master Splinter. Aka, the best written character int he show, but we’ll get to that later.

After the opening theme, we cut to the boys 15th Mutation Day where we get our backstory. Borrowing from the 80′s show origin, Splinter was once a young man named Hamato Yoshi. He had just bought four pet turtles when he stumbled across a shady dealing. Being a ninja master, he was able to fight back, but he ended up getting splattered with a strange green substance. This turned him into a rat, as one brushed his ankle while the baby Turtles become anthropomorphic. Yoshi, taking on the name Splinter, fled to the sewers and raised the four turtles as his own as well as taught them ninjutsu. It’s a simple, but still solid telling of the origin that pays tribute to previous origins, leaves some mystery about the substance and who was dealing it, and is told with use of comic-style panels reminiscent of the original comics.

The Turtles, having lived in the sewers since their mutation, are hoping to convince Splinter to let them finally go to the surface. After some begging, Splinter reluctantly agrees. We then cut to Leo watching a Star Trek: The Animated Series parody where we learn of his desire to become a great hero and leader. This is interesting for several reasons. One, it establishes that Leo isn’t the leader of the group yet, a departure form normal as he’s normally put into that role automatically. And second, ti does a great job at character establishment. In previous versions, Leo is often seen as the boring, overly leader type. Not a bad character mind you, but he lacks the quirkiness that the tough Raph, genius Donnie, and wild child Mikey present. Here? Leo is shown to be an idealistic, naive, but good-intention kid who aspires to be a great hero like he sees on TV as well as give shim some dorky characteristics, like quoting cheesy one-liners to sound more heroic. It helps make him more relateable, funny, and sets up a character arc for when he does inevitably become the leader. Very well done.

The boys finally go to the surface, and are in awe of what they see. They even discover their trademark favorite food, pizza. Given that they only ever ate worms and algae until this point, it makes their love of it all the more understandable. But not all goes well as they soon witness a group of business men kidnapping a red-haired teenager and her father. They attempt to help, but end up only beating each other up and the bad guys get away with their captives. Mikey ends up beating up one and discovers... a brain with tentacles... yipe... he tries to tell the other three, but they don’t believe him. A common trend in the show.

Upon returning home, the boys try to blame each other for the failure before Splinter accepts it for not giving them proper training as a team. While he considers keeping them down below for another year, Donnie convinces him to let them go help the girl due to seeing how terrified she was and how they failed to help her... and because of the crush he developed in a record five seconds. Splinter agrees, but first assigns Leo as the official leader, much to the ire of Raph. They’re eventually able to find the kidnappers vehicle and wreck it, capturing the driver named Snake and they discover a vat of a glowing green substance. A vat that they recognize as the same one that caused their original mutation.

Snake, after Raph threatens to mutate him, leads the boys to the facility where the captives are... and uses the boys bickering as a chance to escape. Leo uses this to trick the crook into thinking that they’re going to plow his van into the place as he conducts a plan to sneak in. All while Roah is an asshole who refuses to listen and outright undermines Leo’s orders. Yeah, Raph is a real jerk during this season. FYI. When Leo shows hesitance about his plan, Splinter tells him of his final confrontation against his rival Oroku Saki, aka The Shredder. It ended in his wife being killed, his house burning down, and his infant daughter nowhere to be found. Well, that won’t be important in any way, shape, or form later! The point being that he lost everything, but gained the boys, easing Leo’s worries about how much is riding on the plan.

So yeah the boys crash the van, Snake gets mutated, the boys break in, fight some guards, and Mikey proves that he isn’t crazy about the aliens.. and then trips an alarm. Smooth Mikey, smooth. They find the captives, that being this version of April O’Neil and her scientist father. Now in most versions, April is an adult woman. Here? She is aged down and is around sixteen years old. We’ll talk more about that later. The bad guys, aka The Kraang, take the captives away and as the boys give chase,t hey are confronted by the mutant Snake... who is a weed monster. Hey, that’s breaking supervillain rules writers! If you have an evil sounding name, that’s what you turn into! Donnie is sent to rescue the O’Neil’s as the other three face Snakeweed... Mikey’s idea, not mine.

The boys eventually defeat Snake via Leo’s direction and mass electrocution while Donnie is able to rescue April, but her father is taken away. April plans to find him however, no matter what it takes with the boys promising to help in whatever way they can. Once home, Leo finds out the complex reasoning for why he was named the leader over everyone else... because he asked. Ming-boggling, right? Well there is actually another reason, but we’ll talk about this in S4. The boys also made the news as their shruriken got found, but come on, what could one tiny news story do that would be bad? Well... being seen by your master’s worst enemy and re-igniting his lust for vengeance might count! Woopsie!

Overall, a solid two parter. It establishes the characters well, has fun fight scenes, the animation is a little dated now but still pretty good, the dialogue is funny, and it does a good job setting up future plotlines while fulfilling it’s own plot. It started 2k12 off on the right foot and was still enjoyable over five years since it’s initial premiere.

The Beginning (Episodes 3-8)

The episodes following the premiere create a steady flow of creating the status quo. You have episodes like Turtle Temper, Metalhead, and Monkey Brains (kinda) that have the boys dealing with the Kraang’s Plan of the Week as they continue their mutagen experiments. It helps with character development and some minor plot progression, such as Raph learning how dangerous his anger can be and Donnie learning to rely on his instincts rather than on his mind 100% of the time. Some are going to want me to comment on the shipping stuff, But I’m gonna save that for later. The biggest issue with these episodes, aside from Monkey Brains, is the Kraang. They are not interesting as villains at all. As great a VA as Nolan North is, the Kraang’s way of talking just gets... annoying. It doesn't help that the threat ultimately becomes either an accidental mutant or Donnie’s robot... well okay a Kraang possessed the later, but it shows that those are more interesting villains than the Kraang themselves and they exist mroe to just have an excuse for a plot. It’s really irking after awhile.

As far as plot goes, it’s mostly your usual ‘Monster of the Week’ stuff. But it has some small things that have a larger impact later. For one, in Monkey Brains, April begins to tap into what looks like some strong emphatic abilities. More on this next season. But due to this, Splinter decides to take April on as a student and train her to be a kunoichi (a female ninja). This will be the largest part of her character for the remainder of the series. April herself... is not utilized as well as she could have been in these early episodes. She’s described as the boys guide to the outside world, and she does serve that in some respects. For example, introducing Mikey to social media in New Friend, Old Enemy to let him make friends without exposing his mutant identity. And in Never Say Xever she takes them to a blind man’s shop so that they can actually experience life topside for once. The issue is we never see April establish bonds with the boys or Splinter after her introduction. In New Friend, Old Enemy she just acts like she’s been friends with the guys for awhile and after showing Mikey the net, doesn’t appear or is even mentioned in the episode again. She disappears after her importance in Metalhead as well, but she is given mroe to work with there at least. I glossed over this when I was watching the show and April does get mroe time with the guys, her relationship with Splinter being one of my favorites. Still, they didn’t do a lot with having April become part of the group or really act on her role as their ‘guide’ and I feel they just wanted to ignore it to get to the other stuff. Which is just a bummer.

So you’re probably wondering about Shredder stuff, right? Well thankfully the Foot Episodes are also the most plot relevant episodes. It starts with New Friend, Old Enemy where Shredder arrives in New York and assigns one of his lieutenants, a famous martial artist named Chris Bradford, to find out about Splinter. The Foot end up encountering the Turtles, with Bradford later using this to manipulate Mikey after accidentally becoming online friends with him. He captures him and use shim as bait to lure out the other three and then follow them to where Splinter is hiding. It fails with the boys using their knowledge of the sewers to literally wash Bradford and his partner, Xever, away. Along with the dangers of meeting people you don’t really know on social media, the episode presents a very unique lesson. In a fight for your life, screw fairness, You fight by any means necessary to stay alive, including fighting dirty. Most shows emphasize on being fair, but this one actually acknowledges that if your life is on the line, you do what it takes to get out alive. It’s a unique message for a kids show and one that I really appreciate.

Next is Never Say Xever where Xever gets to lead the charge. After the boys track down the two and get beat up, Xever receives inlet from the Purple Dragons, who int his version are pretty much a trio of teen thugs. The Turtles fought them off earlier at the shop April took them to, with Leo sparing the leader as an act of mercy. Something that Raph takes umbridge with... as he does with most anything that Leo does in the first half of the series. It’s no surprise that Leo and Raph butt heads, as they do in most series, and it follows their respective arcs. Leo having to deal with being leader as well as realizing that it’s much more pressuring and unforgiving than he thought, while Raph act son his jealousy that Leo got the position even though he’s the better fighter and therefore questioning Leo’s orders or outright just being an asshole for no good reason. But after the shop owner is kidnapped to lure the Turtles out, Leo’s act of mercy ends up saving them as the lead Dragon repays the favor by throwing him back his discarded sword. Which Leo uses to break a water tower to wash the bad guys away again. Angered, The Shredder decides to handle the Turtles himself.

The episodes do a good job in establishing a solid status quo. Bad guy does a thing, one character has their B-Plot to deal with, there’s a clash, the plots intertwine, bad guy gets defeated, and the lesson of the day is learned. A simple routine, but it works here. Plus we get plenty of character establishment and moments which makes you care about them. For example even though Raph is a massive jerk, the end of New Friend, Old Enemy has his comfort Mikey after the deceit and have him see that he’s a good kid who simply got duped as anyone else would. With this being after Raph mocked him wanting to make friends throughout the episode, it helped show that he does have a caring side. Leo frequently has issues with being a leader, such as dealing with Raph and moments like in ITHNiBS where the guys outright refuse to listen to him when he tries to remind them that they’re grounded. Even Splinter has a lot of moments, being a stern but fair parental figure and wise mentor, but is also snarky as Hell. We also see hints to how much the past has affected him, like after April agrees to undergo kunoichi training and leaves the dojo, there’s just a brief moment where he looks down with a forlorn expression. As though wishing that he was telling this to his own MIA daughter. It’s so subtle, but it speaks volumes about his emotional state.

The characters are ultimately what makes these episodes works and what I would say is the strongest part of the series. You are likely going to relate to or like someone from this show and their progression. But now that we have a fully formed status quo, it’s time to shake it up a little bit and have the Turtles experience their first hard dose of reality.

The Escalation (Epsidoes 9-13)

Episode 9 begins as a typical ‘Mutant of the Week’ plot with the guys trying to catch a pigeon mutant that was after April. But when they do, they discover that he was simply trying to deliver a message... from her father. The message warns her to get out of the city due to a mutagen bomb, but she refuses to leave without him. As such,t he Turtles... somehow... find where Mr. O’Neil is and try to save him. While they get him out of the cell and get the location of the bomb, Mr. O’Neil sacrifices himself when the Kraang outnumber them so that the boys can protect April. All while poor April can only watch, helpless to do anything. Ouch...

The Turtles can only go to where the bomb is to disarm it, but things get further complicated when Bradford and Xever attack, wanting payback from before. Fortunately Donnie disarms the bomb and the four corner the two, but Bradford refuse sot go down quietly and stabs the bomb, but all it does is mutate himself and Xever. But ti also washes them away.... again. I should also point out that this point,t he Turtles have gotten incredibly over-confident since they’ve beaten every bad guy so far, feeling unstoppable. So then... Shredder arrives. Yep. And he kicks their shells HARD. Liek he holds no punches, he easily over-powers all four of them and almost stabs Leo int he head. The only reason that they escape is Shredder getting distracted by his now mutated lieutenants. But the boys retreat, badly beaten up and completely demoralized.

The next episode focuses on the fallout. The four are mostly feeling better, but their fears are being escalated by, of all people, Splinter. This is due to the boys nearly getting killed by his long-time rival re-igniting his own trauma and having nightmares over losing them, causing him to again keep them in the sewers and be far more harsh with his training. The only one doing moderately well is April, who gets intel about the Foot planning to destroy the sewers. The Turtles try to stop it, but get pounded by Bradford, who is now a giant dog mutant named Dogpound. This forces April to get the inlet herself, but she gets caught an captured by the Foot. This further brings Leo down, but to his surprise Raph actually encourages him to pull himself together and lead the team. The Turtles manage to both save April and stop the Foot from destroying the sewers with Splinter apologizing for allowing his fears to affect both himself and his sons. Overall, a solid pair of episodes that bring the boys down a bit, finally has all the plots meet somewhere, and deliver a strong message about not letting fear control you or the others around you.

After a filler episode where the only importance is Shredder forcibly recruiting Stockman to his forces, we get some more Kraang stuff with Episode 12. Where we actually show them being dangerous. Shocker, right?! It also introduces us to long-time supporting character within the franchise Leatherhead. Here he is an alligator mutant who the Kraang experimented on and it causes him to have violent fits of rage if he so much as hears the word ‘Kraang’. The Turtles end up saving him when the Kraang try to re-capture him, but find his angry bursts, well... dangerous. But Mikey is able to befriend him and it becomes more clear that LH is actually a rather intelligent, good-hearted mutant who has been put through Hell. He gets run off by Splinter though when one of his trauma-induced bursts causes him to attack the boys, forcing the rat master to intervene. Mikey, and by proxy the other three, give chase to an old subway car where LH reveals how the Kraang took him to their home, Dimension X, and experimented on him. He escaped and also took their Power Cell, cutting them off form Dimension X, in hopes of saving humanity from them. The Kraang want it back and act like a zombie swarm as they break through the car. LH fights them off, leaving the Power Cell in the Turtles care.

While Episode 11 sucks (to put it simply Leo and Raph are overbearing assholes while Donnie and Mikey are just made to be as weak as possible), the other three do a good job at making the villains more solid threats. Shredder was built up as intimidating and powerful, and boy did he deliver. The Turtles face their first major loss and have to deal with the fallout, Leo especially dealing with his first real failure as a leader. Even the Kraang come off as a scarier hivemind and we get mroe stuff on them, like Dimension X and their plans to mutate the Earth. Add that with a strong supporting character like Leatherhead, who is understandably traumatized but is an intelligent being who is trying to prevent others form suffering like him. and it helps make some strong episodes.

The first half of the season concludes with the 13th episodes... that aired as the 14th for some reason. But I’m going in order of my DVD’s and this was after Episode 12, so it’s what I’m going with. It both concludes a lot and opens up a lot for the future. The episode I am talking about is, of course New Girl in Town.

TBC in Part Two....

#tmnt #2k12 #tmnt 2012 #callie reviews

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feyreofthewildfire · 7 years

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We’ll Go Together - Chapter 5

I’m gonna be completely honest here: writing this chapter broke my heart.

But please enjoy :)

Chapter 1

I promise, you will be fine

Got the universe on your side

When you’re out in space

Don’t be afraid

If you start floating away

He hates the airport the moment they step into it.

There are too many people and they’re all too loud. His other set of powers has yet to return in this life, and until they do his mortal threat processing can’t cope with the amount of people surrounding them. He resists the urge, yet again, to pull her to his side so that he can protect her.

He knows that most of the people in the room pose no threat whatsoever, and he knows that he’s being irrational, but the memories he’s slowly recovering of the underground prison tell him that everyone is a threat; that everyone around them can and will hurt them if he allows them to.

It doesn’t help that she hasn’t recovered her training or even most of her powers yet. He knows that she will, like he did, and that it’s only a matter of time before it happens, but until then she’s defenseless. Until then he has to protect her.

If she minds how close he stands to her, she doesn’t say anything. There’s been a far-off look in her eyes since he’d reappeared with his own bag to accompany her, one that tells him she’s focused on anything except their surroundings, even with the information about her sister looming over their heads. Her distractedness only raises his apprehension.

When they’re past security—which he decides he also doesn’t like—and she’s sitting down to wait for boarding, he chooses to lean against a windowed wall instead. At least this way he can see most of the room and his back isn’t exposed. She gives him a strange look, but he only shakes his head and pulls out the book he’d been reading before the blonde woman, Mor, had come over.

He finds quickly that he can’t read, not with the commotion. Every time someone enters his peripheral he has to look up and track them until he deems them harmless. Every time he takes his eyes off of her, he’s afraid she’ll be gone when he looks up again.

He hasn’t told her yet, about how he’s just beginning to fray at the edges. He’s hidden it under layers of flirty jokes and wide grins—just enough to embarrass her so that she doesn’t look too close. He knows the moment that she figures it out he won’t be able to keep it from her, and yet he doesn’t want to impose the dark parts of him on her light. So he deals with it himself.

Keeping his eyes open seems like a feat, given how he can’t sleep at night. It’s not even nightmares—memories—keeping him from getting sleep: it’s the fact that he can’t sleep at all, not when he’s trying to sort through all his memories, scribbling them down in the notebook she’d given him. It’s the only reason he’d been able to comfort her after her nightmare, besides the frayed bits left of their bond; he’d been awake, trying to sort out his head.

“You alright, soldier?”

His first instinct is to spin and pin them against the wall, until the words settle in, followed by the confusion. “What?”

He comes face to face with a man perhaps a decade older than he is—or rather, how he appears. He’s realized by now that he’s much older than what was considered possible, given the memories that assault him in a constant stream.

The man nods his head in greeting, but doesn’t offer a hand. “Mark Holt. Served three tours in the Stan. How long have you been stateside?”

He realizes that the man, Mark, thinks he’s served. He’s not completely wrong, but he doesn’t think he can recount his war stories to the older man without being admitted to a mental institution. “Not long enough,” is the vague answer he gives instead.

Mark nods; not in sympathy, but in understanding. “You seeing anyone for the PTSD?”

The question jars him. PTSD. Post-traumatic stress disorder. He should’ve made the connection. Dealing with it when he’d been a daemati (he thinks that’s the right word) had been easier, knowing that if he saw someone as a threat he could simply look into their mind and verify it. Without that crutch, he’s left to mortal devices. Without that crutch, he can’t cope.

“No.” The answer is quiet, almost ashamed. Without his second set of powers he’s been reduced to a sleepless, hyper-vigilant man. He’s not as strong as he thought he was.

“Rhys?” His head whips to where she’s gotten out of her seat, the little crinkle in her brow telling him she’s heard most of the conversation.

“Yes, darling?” The pet name rolls off his tongue. The urge to cringe and run razes through him, yet she doesn’t seem to mind—the only sign she even notices is the flush of her cheeks. It boggles him.

“We’re boarding.”

His eyes flick to the screen, where what she says rings true. “I’ll be right behind you.”

As she walks away he turns back to Mark, who looks passive. “That your girl?”

He scoffs, “It’s complicated.” Perhaps ‘complicated’ is oversimplifying it.

Mark nods again, in the same understanding way from before. “Being with someone after coming back is tough. I know a lot of men whose girls couldn’t cope with the way they changed and left them. I know just as many men who left their girls because they couldn’t cope.” He sighs, “What I’m trying to say is that the only way to uncomplicate it is to talk to her, whether it’s about the problems with her or in your head.”

He soaks up the man’s words, running over them a few times. He extends a hand towards him, “Thank you. I’ll take what you said to heart.”

Mark smiles, losing the stoic mask and shaking his hand. “That’s all I ask.”

They exchange farewells and he leaves his secure spot against the wall, thoughts running through his head that—for once—don’t revolve around his past life.

He boards the plane, deciding that there’s nothing he likes about flying. The cabin is cramped and completely full. It’s six people in a row, but at least he’s between the window and her. He’s not sure what he would’ve done if he’d been sat next to a stranger.

She’s completely absorbed in her notebook, and when he glances over he notices that all the sketches are of him—the other versions of him. The version with the raven’s feather crown, the version with the wings, and the version he is now. In her sketches, and his mind, they’re all different people.

She’s oblivious to him staring at her, with her sketchbook in hand and headphones in ears he’d be surprised if he snap her out of her reverie at all. There were times when he’d catch her in total immersion, utterly impossible to drag away from the piece of art she’s working on. He usually doesn’t have a reason to drag her away, anyways, but he starts to get concerned when she doesn’t emerge from her studio for hours on end. At least, that’s what he tells himself.

She’s so distracting that he doesn’t know they’re in the air until his ears pop for the first time. His head swivels away from her and towards the window, where the world beneath them continually gets smaller.

The memories he has of wings come to the forefront, and the ache in his chest that misses them becomes stronger. One of the few things he knows enough of to miss, besides her, are his wings. He remembers what it’s like to fly, and he wishes he could do it again. He misses the wind in his face and the view of the city below him. He can’t remember the name of the city for the life of him, but just remembering it makes him happier.

The plane ride passes without excitement, and he manages to finish the book he’d been trying to read in the terminal. The ending is a little too tidy for his taste, but he didn’t write the book, so he takes it with a grain of salt and slides the book into the backpack at his feet. He’d, stupidly, left his memory notebook in the overhead carry-on, so he’s left with only one option.

When he looks over to her, she’s broken out the coloring pencils. They’re splayed out on the seat tray and rattle back and forth with the small turbulence. One of her headphones have fallen out, and her hair curtains her face, and consequently her sketchbook, from view. She’s breathtaking.

The plane lands five hours later and they get off, where he immediately he pulls out the notebook and scratches out a note about the city he remembers flying over. The scribblings are almost incoherent at this point, and the lines of the paper have been completely overlooked. The notebook is quickly filling up, and he knows that he’ll never share most of it, even with her. Some wounds, even in a different life, have yet to heal.

“Hotel or hospital?” He asks after she’s half-in a taxi, even with the small dripping of her feelings telling him the answer.

“Hospital.” The answer is definitive, as if the other option isn’t even one. It reminds him of a meeting in a place away from his city, where she had stood up and spoken so definitively that they had all followed her. The rest of that memory is a blur, besides the crown he remembers her wearing. All of his favorite memories are of her in a crown.

“I’ll take our bags to the hotel and meet you there, alright?”

No part of him wants to separate from her in any way, not when she’s so vulnerable. The fire he once saw in her has begun to smolder again, but he’s afraid. He’s terrified to let her out of his sight. He knows that he can’t lock her down and control her—he’s slowly starting to remember what that did to her the first time—and yet he wants to anyways.

But he can’t. She is stronger and brighter than he’ll ever be, and he can’t smother that light. He could never smother that light, the part of her that glows.

So instead, as she nods, he squeezes her hand once and gets in a different taxi from hers. He doesn’t tear his eyes away from the car she’s in until it’s far out of sight, and even after he keeps glancing forward as if it’ll suddenly appear in front of him.

He’s impatient the entire way to the hotel, and from there to the hospital. Every minute he spends away from her is another minute he can’t protect her, another minute she could be hurt or in danger. He knows that it’s unlikely, that the chances of her being in true danger are slim to none, but the paranoia makes him fidgety and snappy at the two taxi drivers he comes in contact with. He can’t even bring himself to truly feel bad.

When he gets to the hospital he can’t get out of the car fast enough. As he’d gotten closer the pieces of their bond had become more receptive, and the mixture of grief and anger he was feeling wasn’t at all reassuring. He needed to find her and comfort her, make sure she was okay. He knows that she doesn’t remember yet, and he’s willing to wait. He remembers waiting in their first life, and he knows that at the end of the day she’s worth it. They’re worth it. He’ll wait the entirety of this life if it means she’ll love him in the next.

The receptionist, whose succinct and quick, gives him the room number for Nesta Archeron and he’s on his way. He’s sure that he could’ve just followed the bond until he found her, but he’d rather not wander the halls like a ghost. He makes sure to knock twice before he enters the room, shoulders that had been tense for the past hour relaxing at the sight of her—unharmed and physically okay.

It’s more than he can say for her sister.

He doesn’t remember much about his interactions with Nesta—only that she was always angry, always behind walls and walls and walls. He’d never seen her with her guard down, never seen her as anything less than immaculate and perfectly put together.

But the breathing tube and the shades of blue and purple across her face make her nearly unrecognizable, if not for the fact that she sits next to her, clutching the hand of her eldest sister with a raging anger reflected in her eyes.

He recognizes the man on the other side of the bed as the one with the red stones.

He blinks twice, as if to clear his vision, but the man is still there afterwards. He connects the dots and realizes he must be the man who’d called her that morning—Cassian.

Putting a name to the face opens the floodgates he’s put on the constant trickle of memories rushing through him. The full stream is as awful as he remembers. It couldn’t have lasted longer than ten seconds, but when he opens his eyes again it’s to the two conscious people in the room staring at him. The look in her eyes is one he’s familiar with.

The look in Cassian’s eyes is the one that concerns him.

There’s a swirling mixture of grief and anger and the remnants of a still healing wound that he recognizes in himself—then there’s something else too.

He supposes it’s because of the something else that Cassian has him pinned against the wall in a few moments. The spiral he’s been slowly falling down turns into a gaping pit.

He’s not in a hospital room anymore. He’s on a battlefield and the smell of blood and sweat permeates his senses. Every part of him has shut down except for the part that knows how to fight, how to keep himself alive. He’s not quite controlling his limbs, they move in a way that tells him he’s done this many times before—that he’ll likely do this many times again. He’s lost his sword somehow and his magic has been completely depleted. His survival relies on his fists and training that’s been beaten into him atop a cold, icy mountain. If he hesitates for a single moment, he’ll die.

The parts of him that have been locked into a box knows he’s in a hospital room, that Cassian is anything but a threat. It can hear the horrified sounds she’s making from the other side of the room and the commotion coming from the hallways. It knows that Cassian is wavering, not because he’s growing tired, but because he recognizes the look in his eyes and knows he’s far, far away from the hallway they’ve fought themselves into—because he gets the same look in his own eyes.

He doesn’t see the syringe that gets thrown to Cassian from the sidelines, the one filled with a clear liquid. He begins to falter, tries to summon the darkness that he knows will win him this fight but it doesn’t come and he’s left with his fatigued limbs and staggering motions. The fluid grace he’s always fought with begins to fall away and he knows this is the end. This is it.

When he blacks out, he doesn’t think it’s because of the syringe in his arm.

Side Note: I took a very Oliver Queen-esque approach to this. Many Arrow (the other love of my life) fanfics don’t necessarily “play up” Oliver’s PTSD but examine it in a more clinical and realistic way than the show does. I did the same thing with Rhys. It’s canonical that Rhys has PTSD in the form of his nightmares. I think that without his daemati powers and with the limitations on the rest of his arsenal that he wouldn’t cope nearly as well during the daylight as he does in the books. He’ll be okay, don’t worry, but I felt like I needed to address this in story. As he’s recovering memories it’s as if he’s reliving them, and we all know that our favorite High Lord has seen a lot of shit. I wanted to fill in a plot hole and in general deepen Rhys’ character.

Next Chapter

#we'll go together #acotar fanfiction

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financevisionary · 7 years

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Vanguard founder John C. Bogle explains where most investors go wrong

If you haven't come across John Bogle, you have actually most likely come across the business he established and also led for decades. Forty-two years earlier, Bogle produced the Vanguard Team, now the globe's largest mutual fund plumber with greater than 20 million investors as well as concerning $3 trillion under management.

Chances are, if you have a 401(k) or an Individual Retirement Account, you have actually got money in a fund possessed by Lead. Fortunately is that implies you're most likely not paying a whole lot in costs to hold it. Bogle, who turns 87 this year, has actually long embraced inexpensive index funds.

His firm introduced the first index fund in 1976. The Lead Index Trust, later on renamed the Vanguard 500 Index Fund (VFINX), tracks the efficiency of the S&P 500 Index, among the most commonly made use of benchmarks for the securities market. As of January, it had virtually $220 billion bought it.

Bogle, arguably one of one of the most successful financiers on the world, has a very basic take on investing: Stay clear of high-cost funds. Invest in indexes. Put your money in a mix of stocks and bonds.

We spoke with him concerning why he's such a follower of index funds, the biggest errors capitalists make, as well as exactly how his very own investment choices have changed.

Your spending ideology could possibly be summarized by the worn out saying: Keep it simple, foolish. Why does convenience work?

Bonds are there to keep you fairly safe, and also stocks are there to provide you an opportunity for development. Bonds typically have much less threat and volatility, and stocks have more risk and also volatility.

So exactly how need to you allot your cash in between them?

I would certainly claim the beginning point is 60 percent [of your profile] in stocks and 40 percent in bonds. More youthful individuals ought to have a lot more in stocks, as well as older individuals ought to have more in bonds.

Where do you start?

I think completely in index funds.

Why?

It's simplicity writ big. The securities market gives a rate of return that runs out our control. With an index fund, you will capture the total return, as well as the cost is quite reduced. [Vanguard's largest index fund has an expenditure ratio of.17 percent, or $1.70 for every $1,000 spent. Index funds from other firms offer in a similar way reduced costs.]

You might get the same return with an [proactively handled] fund, but you might be losing a minimum of 2 percent to trading, stock fund sales loads, the expenditure proportion, as well as various other fees.

So why isn't really everybody investing in index funds?

Every investor believes they're above average. You exaggerate your capacity to do much better than your neighbors ... People think there's a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

There's no pot of gold. And also there's no rainbow. If you can merely avoid silly mistakes, you'll do very well.

What are the largest errors investors make?

Investors believe the past is prologue. They think if a fund has actually succeeded, it will certainly do well in future. That is ignorant and counterproductive.

When did you start investing?

In 1951. I had no money. I would certainly simply survived university, worked my means via Princeton. I was working throughout life attempting to obtain just what I intended to have. I visited work at Wellington Management, as well as it had a pension. Fifteen percent of my salary entered the Wellington Fund [among the earliest mutual funds in the United States]

Since after that, I have actually included index funds. I'm overwhelmingly an indexer.

When did you come to be convinced index funds could exceed others?

I wrote my Princeton thesis on the reality that stock funds could make no case to supremacy over market indexes ... My surprise is that it took Two Decade prior to index funds actually began to capture on.

There's been a great deal of cash relocating out of proactively taken care of funds and right into lower-cost passive funds over the last couple of years. Are customers becoming much more aware of fees when choosing where to put their money?

Since 2007, greater than $1 trillion has entered into easy funds as well as greater than $400 billion has actually gone out of active funds. That's a significant shift in capitalist preferences. That boggles the mind. The general public is leading the way.

How much attention ought to financiers pay to the day-to-day movements of the market?

The stock exchange is a giant interruption to the company of investing. The marketplace does not create value. It subtracts worth as a result of its prices. The less you enjoy the market, the much better off you'll be ... Considering stock costs everyday sidetracks you from so what it's all about.

Which is?

The market does not create returns. Business does. And also the even more 'assistants' you have, the even worse you'll do due to the fact that they're all charging fees.

I understand you have actually changed the portion of stocks as well as bonds in your personal profile currently that you're 86 years old.

I'm listed below 50:50 currently [with more in bonds compared to stocks] I'm much a lot more into protecting just what I have currently compared to I enjoy expanding it. I wish to be a little much safer than the average bear. I'm comfortable.

The stock exchange has been pretty unstable in current months. Where do you read stocks and also bonds going?

I state you might need to conserve even more to reach your goals considering that future market returns are going to be reduced [compared to they have been] in stocks as well as bonds.

But a well balanced portfolio will prevail.

Investing tale Jack Bogle shares his top tip-- as well as it's something any individual can do

#credit #Debt

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ladygayjournal · 5 years

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I am angry, prepare for a WALL

The other day, I was on Facebook. I primarily use it for memes and keeping in contact with friends that live on the other side of the country from me. Group chats, etc. Anyway. I made a generalized post about minorities that support Trump. It was MIND BOGGLING to me, and still is, why a minority would support him. I did not know that would make someone I considered a friend rise forth from the depths of the abyss and start ranting at me. For this story, let’s call her... Maria.

I went to college with Maria, and we’d been friends since 2011. Over the past year she kinda became a right wing nut, but I let it slide. I thought maybe it wasn’t as bad as it seemed. Until I made this post. The post literally was “If you’re Pro-Trump.. and pro-wall.. why? What’s wrong with you?”

Maria gave me an essay. She feels Trump is the ONLY person addressing immigration. She admits Trump is not “a good speaker”, but her ideals align with his (Racist, sexist homophobe I guess?) . She also feels that as a Mexican American, her race shouldn’t dictate how her values lie. Which is fair, to a point I guess? She then started ranting about baby murdering, and how Planned Parenthood is of the devil, how socialism will be the downfall of America, and then posed a new question. “What’s wrong with people who make assumptions on how other people SHOULD think based on their skin/ethnicity?”

I decided to ignore her question. Instead, I point out the fact that Trump is racist, homophobic, and a bigot. I pointed out that he hates me as a member of the LGBT, and he hates her as a Mexican. Planes fly over walls, and the wall will be a waste of billions of dollars. I whole heartedly welcome socialism. Give me that socialized healthcare! I then brought up all the ACTUAL problems that are happening in America. Like how Flint has no water, all the white domestic terrorists, and tax reform that don’t help the 1% of Americans.

Maria then pointed out that neither Trump nor Pence ever handed me or sent me a later saying they hate me. So they must not actually hate me. She also feels that even if he did hate her, she would still support him. Ranted about Muller for a bit, because blah blah blah fake news. Ranted about how Socialism doesn’t, ranted about how illegal immigrants are pretty much evil, and then she said her closing paragraph. I am still mind boggled about this one, so I am going to type it word for word.

“If you can’t comprehend that, that’s fine. No one’s asking you to. I can’t understand justification of infant slaughter. There are things people will never see eye-to-eye on and that’s the way the world is. The best we can both do is advocate our various sides and see what happens. Personally, I’m hoping the world will be destroyed sooner rather than later or the US will break out into Civil War and start from scratch. Either way, let’s all enjoy this shitshow called life until it’s over. Disagreements and all. 😄”

I was so perplexed by Maria I decided to sit down and do research. I wrote an honest to God three and a half page, double spaced, freaking essay. I linked articles (which she deemed leftist fake news) and put actual effort into writing this out for her. I even used multiple sources for some of the points I made because I KNEW she would say it was leftist fake news. (If you would like to read the literal essay, I still have it in google docs) The main points of the essay were:

Here’s proof he’s a homophobe

Here’s proof he’s a racist towards Latino people

Here’s a point that what he’s doing is similar to Nazi Germany. And as a Jewish person, I should be able to point out the similarities.

Here’s some actual information about socialism

“Now, if you can’t comprehend these facts, that’s fine. You don’t have to.“

Everything to this point I had actually had the chance to screenshot. So I still have those screenshots on my phone. The next part is what yeeted me into the abyss. What Maria had the gall to say made me foam at the mouth. She had the absolute gall to say LGBT people WANTED to be discriminated against. The we went out of our way to be discriminated against. That as a Jewish person I should “know better”, and I am spitting in the face of my ancestors for making the comparison, and that none of the sources I used were legitimate. Because blah blah blah fake news. She also pointed out that this post was about specifically her (which no, it was not.)

I spent hours F U M I N G. Trying to stay calm and rational. I waited to calm down, then began typing my response. When I went to hit enter, I got an error. She had deleted the first comment, which removed the whole thread. I never got a chance to screen shot it. But the next part, I did. She sent me a private message. Telling me she didn’t want to continue the conversation, we were never really friends, and that she was so focused on reading our conversation that she skipped breakfast that day (Maria was attempting to make me feel bad here). I feigned that I was hurt. We were never friends? What about how I went all the way across the country JUST to attend her wedding while I was unemployed and shouldn’t have spent money on a literal train ticket? Or the time I cooked for her family when they came to visit her at college? Or the time.. yada yada yada. I was bringing up old times because I was full of gay rage and SPITE. I ended the message with “Have a nice life. What’s done is done. Stay out of trouble” and waited for her to see the message. I then blocked her the moment she saw the message! An hour or so later she had her husband message me with not an apology. I sent him this, and asked him to please not be her messenger. I then made a post on Facebook myself, to vent because I was still angry. After I let off that steam, I was ready to let it go and move on.

This all happened at the beginning of the week. Now it’s the end of the week. A friend of mine came to me and asked “Dude, is this about you?” and showed me a post Maria had made. She flat out LIED about me. Saying I was being passive aggressive and that I’ve always been afraid of conflict. That she wanted to know if she was being paranoid about if the post was about her. And then brought up a video I had shared in a PRIVATE group chat she was not apart of, which she also took as an insult. She was asking her friends if it was paranoid to assume “this person” was making coy jabs, and pointed out AGAIN that I’m passive aggressive and conflict terrifies me. Then asked for answers. One of the few comments on the post she made was LITERALLY a person telling Maria, in detail, how she should find me and “whoop my ass”, and went into detail on how to literally beat me within an inch of my life. That that would fix my passive behavior.

I have not responded to this. I have not brought it up to her or her husband that I know. I haven’t done anything about it because I’m at such a loss for words. I don’t know if I even SHOULD do anything about it. I was not once being passive aggressive. I literally made a generalized post asking the universe a rhetorical question we all know the answer to. I’m NOT afraid of conflict. Granted, because of my messed up life growing up I get quiet during conflict, but I always try to be well spoken and do my best to approach conflict head on. I’m just at this point where I’m angry. I’m angry I cannot defend myself. I’m angry that someone I regarded to be a friend LOST HER MIND and became a raging homophobic racist right wing nut job. I’m angry that Maria is probably spreading lies about me. I’m angry that.. I’m just freaking angry! I was hoping this post would help me out. To let off steam with all this insanity that’s gone on. It kind of has? But I am still, a lady gay full of gay FURY AND SPITE!!

Anyway! I’d like to end this with some wise words I was once told. “We don’t lose friends, we learn who our friends really are and if they treat friends poorly and as disposable, then they weren’t a friend in the first place.“ Guess Maria had one thing right, we’re n o t friends. And she can shove it.

#LGBT #LGBTQIA #discrimination #racism #journal #journal entry #rage #frustration #trump is a racist homophobic bigot #you will not change my mind

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mounicalucia-blog · 6 years

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When a Quiet Crisis Sneaks into your Marriage

This is the latest post in my Marriage Crisis series. Catch up

here

.You feel it. Something is creeping in. You roll over one morning and a thought hits you: I love him but I’m not in love with him/her anymore. Did I marry the wrong person?? Even thinking these thoughts leaves you feeling somewhat confused, worried about the future, and ….. vulnerable. On some level you knew these feelings and fears were building, but you kept stuffing them, hoping they’d eventually subside. Plus, you’ve had some good days mixed in there too. But now you’ve woken up to the realization that something is really missing. The passion and lustful feelings are g-o-n-e and you aren’t sure that what’s left (respect as a co-parent? friendship?) is enough for you. Your spouse is routinely getting on your nerves and you find yourself longing for the thrill of romance. Heck, you may be longing to feel anything warm or positive toward your spouse. You might even be wondering if it’s a newromance you need.I call this the “Quiet Crisis”. There is no bomb or tornado that blew through your home leaving destruction in its wake. And neither one of you has done anything morally or ethically wrong… at least not yet. Instead, you’ve been dealing with the same mundane issues over and over again and you’ve simply lost the spark that once lit up your relationship. The Quiet Crisis is actually somewhat unique. Unlike a Bomb or Tornado Crisis, the Quiet Crisis is all internal. It’s inside of you. It’s the feelings of restlessness, discontentment, or hopelessness, making you believe that getting out of the marriage would be better for everyone than staying in it would be. You might even justify it by thinking he/she will be better off and happier with someone that can love them in a way that I can’t anymore. You know how I know this? Because that was MEmany years ago. And I can tell you first-hand, this internal dialogue couldn’t be further from the truth.The solution to a Quiet Crisis lies within your marriage, not anywhere else or with anyone else. And, the solution starts with YOU. Can you fall in love with someone else? Sure you can…and temporarily, you will feel better. But statistics on second and third marriages show most will be in the same situation just a few years later.

The secret to succeeding in marriage is not really about finding the right person to love. It is about learning to love the person you found.

It’s learning how to stay in love when all the bells and whistles go silent. Sounds trite but it’s the honest truth.Below are some guidelines and coping strategies should you find yourself in a Quiet Crisis:

Focus on Yourself. This is Rule #1 and it trips most of us up. It’s a whole lot easier to point our finger at our spouse and that’s where most of us go first. Who they aren’t. What they’re lacking. What you aren’t getting out of the relationship. This can come across as very entitled as you start buying into the lie you deserve more and better and that this is not the right marriage for you. That is what I did and what I told myself too — until someone got a hold of me and showed me a mirror. The truth is, even if you married someone else, chances are high this would happen all over again in your new relationship unless you fix yourself first. Disclaimer: If you are in an abusive relationship, this advice is not meant for you. Your goal should be to ensure that you and your children are safe, both physically and emotionally.

Find someone who can tell you the hard, unfiltered truth. Find the friend or loved one who is willing to hand you the mirror. The one who loves you enough to help you see your own flaws in a way you can receive it. One area I’d suggest you specifically consider is how you react when you are confronted with something your spouse does that you don’t like. There’s a good chance you aren’t responding in a way that is helpful to the situation, to the marriage, or to you. Dr. Pete Pearson describes the most ineffective reactions as the fearsome foursome. These reactions might look like anger, retaliation, withdrawal, pouting or criticism, to name a few.

Don’t react based on feelings….especially if you have mood swings.Sit with your feelings for awhile and notice how they wax and wane. This could be a few weeks or a few months. Start a “Feelings Journal” to help you notice these trends. Also be sure to take note of what triggers these feelings. It will help you see correlations between triggers and emotions. Remember, feelings come and go. They never stick around forever. They change. They intensify and then wane. Love is so much more than a feeling. In fact, if you restrict your love to just a feeling, I can just about guarantee you’ll fail at marriage.

See a COUPLES therapist…not an individual therapist. Unfortunately, an individual therapist is oftentimes the fastest way to divorce. Therapy is hard. Counseling can be draining emotionally and it requires a financial commitment. But if you are physically sick, you keep going to different doctors and trying different medicines until you find one that helps. Why wouldn’t you fight as hard to get the most important relationship of your life well? If counseling didn’t work last time, find another counselor — one that understands the dynamics of your relationship and can help you both grow and develop. If you find a couples therapist who says both of you need to come in before you can begin, find a new therapist. A good relationship expert knows if you change yourself, you change the relationship.

It boggles my mind how we think it is perfectly normal to divorce when we don’t feel in love, but we do countless other things whether we feel like it or not.

How many days do you feel like getting up when the alarm goes off?

How often do you feel like going to work?

What if you changed jobs every time you realized you didn’t like going to work?

How often do you feel like forgiving someone who wronged you, yet you do it anyway because you know it is the healthiest option?

While “falling in love” is passive and spontaneous, sustaining love requires action.

It will not ‘just happen’ to you. You have to make it happen. Every single day. It takes time, effort, energy and whole lot of wisdom. Do you have the skills you need to make a marriage work? I ask because I find most of us were never taught those skills or had them modeled for us. The good news is it’s never too late to learn new skills. And in the same way I know that diet and exercise makes you physically healthier, I know there are relationship skills and habits that can make your relationship healthier too.If you are wondering what has happened to your marriage, don’t wait another minute. Things will not get better unless you change something. We are here to

help

.Visit —

When a Quiet Crisis Sneaks into your Marriage — The Marriage Place

#marriage counseling #couple counselling #individualcounsling #coupletherapy #marriage intensive

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booksbroadwaybbc · 6 years

Text

Lets Transform Ourselves Day 25 "Arrival" (Pics on /r/dailyprogression) via /r/selfimprovement

Lets Transform Ourselves Day 25 "Arrival" (Pics on /r/dailyprogression)

Background information:

I'm a 20 year old Middle-eastern guy who's very figgity, impulsive and really only thinks about the short term benefits of everything. I used to be addicted to Gaming, but ever since i became 18 years old i decided to leave that part of me behind. I live in a lower-class home, we live off of welfare and I've had the fortune of being born with an above average-IQ which has led to me being able to go to university with a loan.

Last year 2017 December 17th I quit university, broke up with my girlfriend (whom i lived with for 4 months), ditched all my junky friends and moved back to my hometown.

So this is what I'll be doing every single day.

Waking up in the morning at 7:30 AM

Meditate for 10 minutes

Practise a skill/craft in my case Programming for 2 hours (not currently bec of holiday)

Walk for 2 hours per day

Do 60 Pushups + 240 Situps And Plank for 1 minute straight

Read a book (Currently : 4-Hour work week) for 2 Hours

Go cycling for 1 hour (not currently bec of holiday)

Be hygienic

Eat clean and track the calories that i'm taking

Log of 29th of August 2018 - Current time 01:27AM :

I’m back, well not right now but I will be back in my home country ! (which is Holland). At the moment I’m flying over france on a height where a human could’ve never been able to sit at before the invention of flight, which in itself is quite a feat for humanity. I’m very stoked for weeks that are coming, since I’ll be attending university and studying computer science. Now lets get into business and let me tell you about how my day went until now.

I wanted to sleep all the way to around 12 pm, but that wasn’t possible because I’ve gotten used to a rhythm of sleeping till 9 AM and then waking up for breakfast and so. And this is exactly what happens, or at least similarly. I woke up at 09:30 AM and I didn’t feel like I got a good night of rest mainly because of the AC just freezing my whole body and waking me up a couple of times. My mom was already awake and had done everything she needed to do before leaving the hotel. She urged us upstairs to the swimming pool on the roof where this time frankly we had some delicious breakfast. After that I did the usual cleaning my body in the shower and brushing the teeth.

Now it’s the last day of our journey in Albania so we weren’t going to do anything crazy, in fact I stayed at the hotel from 12:00 till 15:30 PM, because my mom went to the dentist there to bleach her teeth, it’s way cheaper to do it in eastern Europe (about x4 cheaper). And meanwhile I was taking care of business on my E-commerce project and trying to workout some issues while also looking after all of our bags since we checked out of the hotel at 12:00 PM. Which also meant that I couldn’t go back to the room to do my push-ups or read my book peacefully, sort of a drawback.

Once My mother and sister came back from the dentist, we went out to have an early lunch/diner before going to the airport. I took another traditional dish called “souflaqe” which is basically a Dürum Döner with greek yoghurt smeared all over the bread(inside). Now we were ready to go to the airport, my little brother had packed my luggage last night in exchange for some time on my laptop, he’s super kind :). I really wanted to do my push-ups or read my book but I couldn’t do this because we were in the hotel lobby, the most viable thing I could do was meditate and that’s what I did. I meditated at around 6 PM after diner and managed to get some headspace in there. My head was all cloudy before the meditation session and I didn’t feel comfortable and I felt anxious. After the session I also kind of fell asleep so that’s that.

I woke up and my mother told me the taxi driver arrived to the hotel to bring us to the airport and I had to help him lift our luggage into the taxi. I didn’t need to do this at all because the driver was very assertive in doing it himself. Once we entered the taxi I fell asleep again until we got to the airport. At the airport I noticed how tiny it was in comparison to Schiphol airport which is one of the biggest airports in the world(Netherlands). We waited for around 3 hours and got into the plane as one of the first people and I decided to read my book “4-hour work week” as it is an excellent place to be reading. No distractions, no internet, only a crying baby in the background here and then and the air sound. What I learnt today was that being rich doesn’t mean having millions of your bank account and continuously saving up to the end years of your life to then have some fun with the money you’ve slaved. Living rich means living the life that would fulfill your dreams and satisfaction as much as possible. By convincing your boss that you could work at home instead of at the office you’d have way more time for other things like family or hobby’s and that way you’re not in risk of having your soul crushed by slaving your life away at the office. Furthermore the extra time could give you opportunity’s you’d never have if you didn’t take the risk of working at home, like creating a business plan for passive income. I managed to read 60 pages of the book aand I’m at page 300 right now, which is quite a feat and I didn’t know I could read this many pages in just one hour time.(mind boggling)

As I’m writing this now I’m really excited about my future, I’m confident that things are going to get way better than how they were the past years. I know that my habits will take me to heights I’ve never reached before in my life. And I am really grateful that I’m able to go onto this journey of finding out myself and just living happily the way I’ve been doing the past months. I’ve seen some tragedy’s in Albania which made me think twice about judging the quality of my own life. The things that I have are actually really amazing and I and everyone else in western Europe should be grateful of having clean water, electricity and all the luxury’s we got over here.

When I’m home in about 1 hour i’ll be doing my push-ups and sit-ups and edit the reddit post and add that bit to the list of completion. Now guys I hope you appreciate the amount of time I take into writing these logs and I’ll be doing this consistently even if I’m sick or heartbroken it doesn’t matter. We’re all going to freakin’ make it brah’s. Peace.

Pics per usual on : r/dailyprogression

Submitted August 30, 2018 at 03:23AM by AttackPrince via reddit https://ift.tt/2ombq3T

#IFTTT #reddit

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switchstrategyblog · 6 years

Text

Monica Main – Get Triple A Credit In 90 Days Or Less

How You Can Have Almost ANYTHING Removed from Your Credit Report — Even a Bankruptcy & Foreclosures — with a Few “Unorthodox” (Yet Completely Legal) Secret Strategies that NO ONE ELSE Will Show You!

Yes, You CAN Have Triple A Personal Credit FICO Score in 90 Days or Less! GUARANTEED!

From the Desk of Monica Main Valencia, California Wednesday, 8:32 PM

Dear Friend,

If you don’t have perfect credit right now then you’re screwed! Especially if you plan on doing nothing about it.

Why?

Because if you want to be successful taking advantage of some of the most profitable and lucrative opportunities out there, you need to have excellent credit or you’ll miss out! You’ll miss out on buying real estate for pennies on the dollar, thus turning your back on an untold fortune. You’ll miss out on getting lines of credit to take advantage of different investment opportunities, kissing your financial future goodbye. You’ll miss out on getting loans to start a business, throwing away your chance to become your own boss while quadrupling what you’re making now. But…what about all the other stuff you’re missing out on? You’re missing out on buying the car of your dreams…because your credit sucks. You’re missing out on buying the home of your dreams, even at a steep discount (because of our economy), so you’ll have to pay much more later (if you’ll ever qualify)…because your credit is trashed. You’re missing out on getting piles of credit cards to buy new clothes, vacations, gifts, stuff you need, things for your kids, and finally taking off the stress of paying your bills…because you screwed over your credit!

My “Unorthodox” Strategies that I CREATED Myself to Get Perfect Credit

One thing that I have a lot of experience with in addition to real estate investing is getting perfect personal credit. Back in 2003 I thought I had to file for bankruptcy because of some debts put on my credit by my first husband. Before that time, I actually did have perfect unblemished credit. My credit score went from the high 600s down to the low 500s overnight.

Of course, like everyone else, after the blows to my credit and the dust settled, I went through every book out there on fixing bad credit. Most of it was the same old rehashed crap over and over again.

Years later, I met my 2nd husband (yes, I’ve done this 3 times and double yes, I’m insane). We were buying a house and he had some major blemishes on his credit report. He hired an attorney who negotiated all of his debt. Not only did he (or rather I) had to pay the lowered agreed debt amount, none of it came off his credit! In fact, even though the debts were paid they still showed DELINQUENT and, even worse, that he payed a SETTLEMENT amount (meaning he didn’t pay what he originally owed).

And that sucked!

I’m like, “There is no way in hell I’m paying a lowered negotiated settlement amount just to have it REMAIN on my credit report as a negative mark. I’d rather have them removed altogether as if they never existed at all!”

This is where it all began and how I had to discover on my own some very unorthodox (yet legal…barely) methods that are NOT in those rehashed Do-It-Yourself Fix-Bad-Credit books out there. (In fact, I can GUARANTEE that my most successful methods of delinquent account removal aren’t in ANY of those books in bookstores or even through downloads.)

Bad Credit = Missed Opportunities

I recently read that there was a rap star who was going for a car loan on a Bentley and wasn’t able to get the car even though he showed gross revenues of over a million dollar a month…all because his credit SUCKED!

Sometimes it ain’t all about money, folks! Sometimes it’s about good old fashioned credit. And, of course, “credit” by definition means “to your credit” as an “honorable and trustworthy person” this is how you conduct your financial affairs. If you cannot be “credited” as a “trustworthy” person with borrowed funds from someone else, no one will do business with you during these hard times because the financial risk on their part is astronomical.

How many opportunities are you missing out on because you don’t have any cash? There are apartment buildings you can get your hands on for about $1,500 – $2,500 PER UNIT in Atlanta, Georgia (one of the fastest growing cities in the United States) but you can’t get these apartment buildings WITHOUT CASH.

And if you have no cash, YOU COULD BORROW IT…

But ONLY if you have GOOD CREDIT!

What about a small business opportunity that you could get your hands on for a few grand or more? This could be the ticket to quadrupling your income while working half the hours and being your own boss! Except, where are you going to get that kind of cash?

You could take out an unsecured signature loan…

But ONLY if you have GOOD CREDIT!!

But wait…let’s back up to that real estate thing I was just talking about for a quick second!

Only a Few Pieces of Property is ALL it Takes to RETIRE!

Think about it: how much does it really take to get rich? Do you need 10 apartment buildings? Do you need 100 apartment buildings?

No, actually, you only need a few. And they can be very small ones too!

Now, if you are getting apartment buildings for PENNIES on the dollar (and there will be NO OTHER TIME in your lifetime as NOW to get deals this cheap…GUARANTEED) yet rents haven’t dropped AT ALL in most areas of the country…you can be banking on massive cash flow just from having anywhere from 10 – 20 units TOTAL.

This could give you anywhere from a $5,000 to $7,500 monthly income. And, of course, that will DOUBLE in 15 years (with inflation) giving you $10,000 to $15,000 per month. This is complete passive income that you don’t have to do ANYTHING for! It’s like having an interest-bearing bank account.

That means throwing in $15,000 to $50,000 for this kind of permanent, fixed, guaranteed monthly income!

Is it hard to borrow that kind of money? Uh…no! Not with good credit! In fact, I have that much available on my credit cards alone not including signature loans. And that’s from my personal credit. I’m not even referring to my business credit at all which totals hundreds of thousands of dollars in unsecured credit!

How I Went from the Low 500s to the High 600s in 90 Days

Quite honestly, I didn’t even start working on my personal credit until 2008 after I was hit with a mind-boggling seven-figure judgment. I didn’t think I could do much for my personal credit, I was using partners for most of my real estate deals to that point, and during the “hey day” of commercial real estate (up to 2007) personal credit didn’t matter on cash flowing properties.

So my personal credit was never a concern UNTIL EARLY 2008 when I couldn’t continue buying property anymore because of how strict the banks had gotten! Was my commercial real estate investing career over?

I thought it was for awhile.

I dropped everything I was doing to start fixing my credit. I plowed through every lame credit repair book out there. Every single one of them had the same stupid list of crap to do. So I dabbled in the credit repair stuff for a couple of months, gave up out of failed frustration, then started again in the fall with a fresh new set of ideas. All my own ideas, of course, starting off with…”what if…?”

This is when I started “coloring outside of the lines,” so to speak. I started inventing my own processes.

From the second time I attempted the credit repair using my own rules, I was able to go from NO IMPROVEMENTS (using the strategies in bookstore books) to DRAMATIC IMPROVEMENTS in my FICO score within 90 days.

Again, this is all direct personal experience of my own. This isn’t some deal where I’ve found a couple of self-proclaimed “experts” on credit repair, interviewed them, and whipped together a course for you. All of my strategies are based on my OWN PERSONAL EXPERIENCE based on a system I was forced to invent because the ones out there simply DON’T WORK!

I Can Teach You EVERYTHING I Know Plus a Few Extra Tricks I’ve Learned in the Past Couple of Years to DRAMATICALLY Improve Your Credit Score

I’ve created a Personal Credit Building System (Complete Course) to show you all of my invented cutting-edge credit building strategies to PERMANENTLY REMOVE bad credit items from your credit reports using unorthodox strategies that you’ll never read about in a rehashed credit repair book. I’ll share with you my own personal experiences, what’s worked, what hasn’t worked, and how to “get around the system” when removing bankruptcies, foreclosures, and other “permanent” fixtures on your credit report.

Now, I’ll admit: I never did get my own bankruptcy off my credit report. It’s on there like Gorilla Glue for another 18 months. The reason? Because it was in Orange County (California), it’s a large enough jurisdiction where they keep good records. The smaller the jurisdiction and the longer it’s been, the easier it is to remove it. Otherwise…who cares anyway? A bankruptcy on your credit report with NO OTHER DELINQUENCIES or negative marks will NOT affect you anyway.

The problem is usually those damned foreclosures. And I can show you how those can be removed. I’ve had several of my students in my business credit mentorship group who I’ve worked with one-on-one use a little-known “experimental” method (since I’ve never had a foreclosure myself to test this out on) they’ve used to have FORECLOSURES REMOVED FOREVER!

Okay, so I will tell you one reason this is possible without giving away the secret and that is…nevermind. It’s too good to let out of the bag and you’ll just have to see when you get the course.

What’s in the “System”?

My course has the following elements:

Manual: Personal Credit Building Secrets Audio Seminar: Over an Hour of Power-Packed Secrets in a BRAND NEW Seminar Never Before Revealed to the Public Secret Letters (Forms): Powerful Forms/Letters to Send to Credit Reporting Bureaus to Blast Your Negative Delinquencies OFF Your Credit Reports Extra Incredible Bonus (Read Below) All of this is brand new. None of these elements are in any of my other course materials. I’m giving you the best, baddest, and most cutting-edge strategies that you will NOT find anywhere else…guaranteed!

In fact, I’m so confident that my strategies are so powerful that I’m willing to tell you this…

Use My System Step-by-Step and Increase Your FICO by 100 Points in 90 Days or I’ll Give You a Refund and You KEEP the Course!

And if I weren’t that confident in the power of my Personal Credit Building System, would I offer such a bold guarantee? Uh…no!

The key word is, of course, “USE” my system. It’s easy to buy a course and whip it up on the bookshelf then wonder why the course didn’t do the work for you. You have to follow the system. Yes, it’s easy. No, it doesn’t take much work.

And no, don’t you dare sign up with one of those rip off credit repair companies because 99.99% of them are scams and you can do ALL of the stuff they do plus do 1000% better using MY simple strategies instead.

Okay, so about that one thing…

Extra Incredible Bonus: Quick Cash Resource Directory

I have some new resources that are all legit, brand new, and not part of any other resource directory I have out there. It’s a listing of amazing resources that will give you quick lines of credit. And we’re not talking paltry amounts of credit. We’re talking significant lines of credit for those who have GOOD personal credit.

Please understand, this is NOT a resource list you will be using immediately. You will first have to follow the credit building steps first, increase your FICO for 90 days, THEN you can use this resource list to get anywhere from a quick 48-hour $10,000 to a $200,000 line of credit (depending on HOW MUCH you increased your FICO score). No, this is not a “bad credit” loan list where you’ll be lucky to score a Payday Loan of $500. This is a powerful list of REAL sources where you can get loads of dough if you have the credit. (Which you will by following my course!)

Okay, So What’s the Deal? How Much?

If you want the Personal Credit Building System (Complete DOWNLOAD Course), it’s ONLY $297 $97. This is an extraordinarily low price because it’s the download version. This past summer, I sold hundreds of these courses when I newly released this system for almost $300…and I sold them like hot cakes.

Now you can get the download version instantly so you can start working the system right now without waiting for the physical version to ship to your doorstep. And you can get it for a FRACTION of the cost!

CLICK HERE TO GET YOUR SECRET CREDIT BUILDING SYSTEM INSTANTLY!

You Either Need This or You Don’t

I’m not going to go into an arm-twisting spiel about how you need this, you can’t live without this, your life is over unless you get this, blah, blah, blah…because that wouldn’t be true for everyone.

Who doesn’t need this?

Someone with an 800+ FICO score, no delinquencies, no negative marks, and few inquiries Someone who has no desire to invest in property in this market (who is also probably deaf, dumb, AND blind) Someone who is satisfied in waiting out the 7 – 10 years for all the bad crap to fall off his or her credit report by itself (and thus willing to miss out on the LAST lucrative opportunity to get bottom-basement prices on real estate in his or her lifetime) Who needs this?

Everyone who DOESN’T fit into any category above Anyone who is in a MASSIVE HURRY to change the “landscape” of their 3 credit reports Anyone who wants to make money in this economy while you can get property DIRT CHEAP (but ONLY if you have cash or good credit to get the cash) Anyone who is sick of living as a Paycheck Charlie, 2 paychecks from the street, and wanting to use OPM (Other People’s Money) or CREDIT to make a fortune while they can as quickly as they can! Questions? Call Us!

Questions? Call my office! The number: (661) 295-5050. We are here Monday through Friday from 9 AM to 5 PM Pacific Time.

See you at the top!

Your mentor,

Monica Main

P.S. Banks and lenders want to see good personal credit otherwise you don’t have a chance in getting huge sums of unsecured credit. Fixing your credit is simple once you understand some of the little-known secret strategies! Don’t wait another minute! You are literally a few months away from having an excellent FICO score!

GET YOUR COMPLETE SYSTEM NOW – CLICK HERE!

Here’s What Other People Think:

Rich L. (California)

“Monica’s credit strategies are hands down the best. She uses techniques that are unheard of anywhere else. My credit was so bad that I had read every book on credit repair out there. I even got ripped off by a few attorney services that are supposed to fix your credit. I was skeptical about Monica’s program but once I got going on following her simple steps, I realized that fixing my own credit was easy as long as I was consistent with the process. I went from having horrible credit to boosting my FICO 81 points in 2 months then another 33 points 2 months after that. In 6 months I went from a 524 to a 677 FICO. These techniques are nothing short of amazing.”

Iris Jordan-White with Baby Bo and Hubby Billy

“Having good credit is required but I didn’t take good enough care of it in my early 20s. I realized that I wanted to invest in real estate but I needed to have decent personal credit if I wanted to get a property mortgage. I didn’t think it was possible to quickly fix my credit but I was shocked to find out that I could remove bad credit delinquencies off my credit reports just by following some easy instructions. It took me only a few months to erase 6 bad credit accounts while building my credit at the same time. Here it is a year later and my credit score is 702 when this time last year it was under 600. Now I have all kinds of credit card offers in the mail for unsecured cards. (I’m careful not to get into debt though so I don’t take them up on the offers.) I just bought a brand new car at the lowest promotional interest rate when before they would have laughed me out of the showroom. Thanks for everything.”

Meghan Mahoney

“I can’t thank you enough for showing me how to remove some of the most impossible things to have taken off a credit report. I used one of your techniques and had 2 judgments removed. It wasn’t easy and didn’t happen overnight but it did take 8 months, they were collectively over $120,000, and now they’re completely gone. Doing this increased my score by over 80 points which took me from ‘poor credit’ to ‘good credit.’ I’m now working on building my credit a little more and in a few months I’ll be over the 800 mark, which is my goal.”

Brisanne & Scott Johansen

“My wife and I knew that if we were going to build a financial future together, we needed good credit to help us. It was frustrating because we had tried other credit repair programs and they didn’t work. We were mainly interested in building credit because, it wasn’t like our credit was really bad. I had a couple of past due credit card accounts and Brisanne didn’t have any credit at all except for a student loan that her parents co-signed for. Following your steps, I was able to have my past due credit card accounts removed in less than 2 months. Both Brisanne and I used the steps to build credit and within 9 months we raised our credit scores from the low 600s to over 700. I understood that we had to be religious in the process, follow all the steps, and make sure we worked each detail in the right order. Being a good student in college, I learned how to follow orders and that paid off quite a bit. Thank you for teaching people how to do this. And what I really appreciate the most is that what you teach is based on your personal experience.”

ARE YOU NEXT? CLICK HERE TO GET STARTED!

Monica Main – Get Triple A Credit In 90 Days Or Less

The post Monica Main – Get Triple A Credit In 90 Days Or Less appeared first on Top Info Scout.

Monica Main – Get Triple A Credit In 90 Days Or Less published first on http://ift.tt/2gY0vxh

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seminarsacademy · 6 years

Text

Monica Main – Get Triple A Credit In 90 Days Or Less

Yes, You CAN Have Triple A Personal Credit FICO Score in 90 Days or Less! GUARANTEED!

From the Desk of Monica Main Valencia, California Wednesday, 8:32 PM

Dear Friend,

If you don’t have perfect credit right now then you’re screwed! Especially if you plan on doing nothing about it.

Why?

My “Unorthodox” Strategies that I CREATED Myself to Get Perfect Credit

And that sucked!

Bad Credit = Missed Opportunities

And if you have no cash, YOU COULD BORROW IT…

But ONLY if you have GOOD CREDIT!

You could take out an unsecured signature loan…

But ONLY if you have GOOD CREDIT!!

But wait…let’s back up to that real estate thing I was just talking about for a quick second!

Only a Few Pieces of Property is ALL it Takes to RETIRE!

Think about it: how much does it really take to get rich? Do you need 10 apartment buildings? Do you need 100 apartment buildings?

No, actually, you only need a few. And they can be very small ones too!

That means throwing in $15,000 to $50,000 for this kind of permanent, fixed, guaranteed monthly income!

How I Went from the Low 500s to the High 600s in 90 Days

I thought it was for awhile.

This is when I started “coloring outside of the lines,” so to speak. I started inventing my own processes.

I Can Teach You EVERYTHING I Know Plus a Few Extra Tricks I’ve Learned in the Past Couple of Years to DRAMATICALLY Improve Your Credit Score

What’s in the “System”?

My course has the following elements:

In fact, I’m so confident that my strategies are so powerful that I’m willing to tell you this…

Use My System Step-by-Step and Increase Your FICO by 100 Points in 90 Days or I’ll Give You a Refund and You KEEP the Course!

And if I weren’t that confident in the power of my Personal Credit Building System, would I offer such a bold guarantee? Uh…no!

Okay, so about that one thing…

Extra Incredible Bonus: Quick Cash Resource Directory

Okay, So What’s the Deal? How Much?

CLICK HERE TO GET YOUR SECRET CREDIT BUILDING SYSTEM INSTANTLY!

You Either Need This or You Don’t

Who doesn’t need this?

Questions? Call my office! The number: (661) 295-5050. We are here Monday through Friday from 9 AM to 5 PM Pacific Time.

See you at the top!

Your mentor,

Monica Main

GET YOUR COMPLETE SYSTEM NOW – CLICK HERE!

Here’s What Other People Think:

Rich L. (California)

Iris Jordan-White with Baby Bo and Hubby Billy

Meghan Mahoney

Brisanne & Scott Johansen

ARE YOU NEXT? CLICK HERE TO GET STARTED!

Monica Main – Get Triple A Credit In 90 Days Or Less

The post Monica Main – Get Triple A Credit In 90 Days Or Less appeared first on Seminars Success Academy.

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sublimedeal · 7 years

Text

Monica Main – Get Triple A Credit in 90 Days or Less

Yes, You CAN Have Triple A Personal Credit FICO Score in 90 Days or Less! GUARANTEED!

From the Desk of Monica Main Valencia, California Wednesday, 8:32 PM

Dear Friend,

If you don’t have perfect credit right now then you’re screwed! Especially if you plan on doing nothing about it.

Why?

My “Unorthodox” Strategies that I CREATED Myself to Get Perfect Credit

And that sucked!

Bad Credit = Missed Opportunities

And if you have no cash, YOU COULD BORROW IT…

But ONLY if you have GOOD CREDIT!

You could take out an unsecured signature loan…

But ONLY if you have GOOD CREDIT!!

But wait…let’s back up to that real estate thing I was just talking about for a quick second!

Only a Few Pieces of Property is ALL it Takes to RETIRE!

Think about it: how much does it really take to get rich? Do you need 10 apartment buildings? Do you need 100 apartment buildings?

No, actually, you only need a few. And they can be very small ones too!

That means throwing in $15,000 to $50,000 for this kind of permanent, fixed, guaranteed monthly income!

How I Went from the Low 500s to the High 600s in 90 Days

I thought it was for awhile.

This is when I started “coloring outside of the lines,” so to speak. I started inventing my own processes.

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holymessofagirl · 7 years

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Jesus went where people were.

Eric Mason, talking about going on a BET panel and expecting hostility as a pastor but, after sharing about what Epiphany Fellowship is doing in the local North Philly community, having guests unexpectedly affirm and express thanks for the church’s work.

From the April 9 sermon, “Great Expectations for Kingdom Harvest”:

But God showed me something: People are hungry. Not for the Word. They’ve heard enough of that. The Word is important, now, so don’t hear me denouncing God’s Word. They’re hungry for the church to act. … Even before I got to my point on the panel, they were discussing only the church as a non-sociological entity that has the ability that they expect to make an impact. And so as I’m looking at this reality and at the hunger and different people coming up wanting to talk, this was interesting: after they heard what we were trying to do or doing, I could tell them anything I wanted about Jesus Christ.

I’m excited about our ministry, not because of the show, not because of an opportunity to get affirmation from a celebrity. That doesn’t necessarily mean anything. I believe we have a landmark opportunity where we are to do more impactful, in-depth, transformational ministry in our community. And I believe with all my heart that God has anointed us for such a time as this. I don’t believe he anointed Pastor Mason for such a time as this; I believe that he anointed us for such a time as this—which makes this passage sweet. This passage [Matthew 9:35–38], to me, needs to be heralded by the church on a regular basis.

Jesus is a bold one. I love him a lot because of the simplicity and complexities that he brings to the table. Jesus, like Sho Baraka says, “Maybe Both”—I love that song—because he talks about the fact of Jesus Christ’s complexity, and [how] people like the sort of hippie-activist on one end or the warrior on the other end. But the issue is he’s both. And here we see in his words and his acts that he’s both. That brings me to my first point.

If you’re gonna have great expectations for kingdom impact, number one, you’ve gotta recognize that Jesus went where people were. Jesus went. This is gonna be embarrassingly simple: Jesus went where people were. The Bible says that Jesus continued going around all the towns and villages.

Stop right there. Know what’s mind-boggling about this passage to me? Jesus of course couldn’t afford a donkey. They didn’t have the sub and the L back then. They didn’t have Uber and Lyft. They had sandals and corns. Bunions too. God walked. Just meditate on the fact that the one who had verbal transportation technology, where he could have literally spoken them into different locations and made an entrance just by Jesus saying, “Capernaum,” and the disciples and him just disappear. “Capernaum.” “Nazareth.” But he didn’t. He wanted to take the slow walk to see and to pass real people. In other words, he didn’t rush to his locations. He went to these locations, he went through these places so he could lay his eyes on people.

It’s very difficult for me through social media how people can talk so passively about things that they’ve never been on the ground to see. I wonder how many of us would just be changed if we talked to an actual single mom versus posting a blog about a single mom. (Help me today.) What if we heard why this guy has four different baby mommas and heard his story? What if we heard about how someone is living in an abandoned brownstone in the basement, in the corner and stealing cable and electricity from next door to survive? And we look down on people, but it’s hard when you don’t walk the cement and the pavement to walk and experience and look at.

And what I love about the Lord is he doesn’t exempt himself from interacting with actual people. In other words, he’s not going in there for a selfie to post online how beautiful the city is and how broken the city is and “Let’s post a pic of this” and “Lemme take a selfie with the broken”—no. He was around there to make sure that he was on the ground to smell them. To touch them. And to encourage them. That’s what I want us to be. And I don’t want us to be a driving-in church. If you’ve never walked this block and you’re a part of this church, you’re missing out. If you’ve never walked and talked and met an actual person and heard their story, see, you can’t have a heart for missions until you experience the need. Let me say that again. Until you experience the need firsthand, you can’t have a heart for what you haven’t seen, what you heard in church, what you haven’t felt with your own hand. Jesus went into cities and towns around actual people. Our Christianity must not be an online Christianity. Because you can create a page that make it look like you’re pretty up to some stuff. But some of your best work is, when you do something that is so deep and rich in somebody’s life that, to post it would demean the experience. (Somebody gonna get that on the way home. You don’t know it yet but that was good preaching.)

And what we have to begin to do, is we have to want the “Well done” from Heaven based on actual stuff. I don’t care what type of ministry you’re doing if you’re not touching actual people, if you’re not ministering to actual youth, if you’re not touching actual young ladies, if you’re not ministering to actual single moms, if you’re not engaging actual college students, actual men—you are not doing ministry. I don’t care what you’re writing, I don’t care what you’re blogging about, I don’t care what your plan is. You and I have to touch actual people.

I gotta move.

Jesus continued going around to all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the good news of the kingdom, and healing every disease and every sickness. When he saw the crowds, he felt compassion for them, because they were distressed and dejected, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is abundant, but the workers are few. Therefore, pray to the Lord of the harvest to send out workers into his harvest.”

Matthew 9:35–38 CSB

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