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ttttaehyungie · 4 years

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a twist of fate | pjm x reader

a twist of fate | park jimin x reader oneshot

☘ genre | bff2l, soulmate au, fluff

☘ word count | 4k

☘ rating | PG-13

☘ summary | It was on one of those nights, sprawled lazily on the couch with the armrest as a pillow for your head, mindlessly scrolling through the threads as you speed-read them, that you first came across the term. Singular soulmates? It had you sitting up. Singular soulmates, put simply, was where someone may be your soulmate, but you’re not theirs.

☘ a/n | This fic was fueled by the recent return of my struggles with insomnia (but has, in turn, further fueled my insomnia as well...) and I just wanted to write some characters being dumb alrite HAHAH

The day your best friend’s name appears on your body was a day filled with panic for you. You still remember the immediate response your brain spat out the moment you saw the black letters of his name printed on your skin.

What the heck- NO.

It’s not that Jimin was unattractive- in character nor in looks. It’s just that, like every boy that age, he was obsessed with girls, entranced by any girl that so much as looked at him for more than two seconds. You couldn’t blame him. Being fourteen was just like that, or so you’ve heard. Being fourteen, pubescent and hormonal, people around you just magically became attractive, acne and brace-faces didn’t matter. Being fourteen, standing at the cusp of maturity and the newfound independence that it brought, but without possessing said maturity in its fullness yet, love and relationships were inevitably an exciting topic to navigate in all its sparkling novelty. Being fourteen, you knew that he didn’t really have feelings for you.

But now, at age twenty-two, his name still sits in its place under your collarbone. The cursive style of it has the starting letter of his name looping into the other remaining letters that resemble little waves with the way it’s strung together.

No one really knows all that much about soulmates, just that the mark appears after your soulmate falls in love with you. But as to how fleeting or how deep the feelings are, no one knows. Whether the mark fades along with the feelings is a mystery too. There’s little proper literature on the subject, and whatever you do know about the topic is the result of casually scrolling through reddit whenever you’re bored.

It was on one of those nights, sprawled lazily on the couch with the armrest as a pillow for your head, mindlessly scrolling through the threads as you speed-read them, that you first came across the term. Singular soulmates? It had you sitting up. Singular soulmates, put simply, was where someone may be your soulmate, but you’re not theirs.

You’d dismissed it away back then, writing it off as hogwash floating around on the internet where there’s no information gatekeeper.

Now? It’s become a real fear.

Because you’ve fallen in love with your best friend.

Har har, what a cheesy romance trope, you know. But what were you supposed to do when, during that Christmas break of your first year of college, you had the shocking revelation that Jimin had grown up.

You barely restrained yourself from gawking at the sight of your best friend walking down the street towards your rendezvous point. You’d gone off to different colleges, neither of them far from your hometown, but not close enough that it was convenient to see each other anytime. So you haven’t seen each other in four months. And apparently, in the time that you’d both gone not seeing each other, Jimin’s body had suddenly gained all this muscle in a lithe and toned kind of way. Studying contemporary dance full-time had really changed his body, his once lean and slender limbs now becoming sinewy and firm.

He’d really become a…

“...Hunk.”

“What?”

“Hug!”

You barrel into his arms, and his familiar musk eases you. It’s a strange sensation, feeling the ridges of his body where soft and pliant flesh used to be. But he rests his chin atop your head, and the gentle weight of it is still the same as ever.

“Did you miss me? Or are you just using me for my body warmth?”

Even though he’s changed physically, he’s still the same dork as ever, and it has you smiling both with mirth and with the assurance that he’s still the same Jimin despite the distance of four months between you.

“You’re probably the one using me for body warmth, Mr I’m too cool to wear a jacket to the movie theaters.”

“That was one time!”

It earns you a jab in your side that has you squeaking and writhing in his arms. Yup, some things stay the same.

It’s at your yearly Christmas get together with the gang that things start to go wrong.

Up to that point, you’d blamed the odd sensation on the initial surprise at Jimin’s change in physique. But now, looking at him in his black turtleneck and silver hair, standing by the fireplace and laughing with Tae, his eyes creased in laughter in that oh so familiar way, it has your heart squeezing in a very unfamiliar way.

It’s just because you haven’t seen him in a while and you’ve missed him, you rationalize, taking a sip of the drink in your hand.

Or it could be the alcohol. Yes, it must be the alcohol.

He’s still the same Jimin as ever, you muse, yet something about him just feels so… different. It’s like he’s grown up so much, even though he’s still retained his dorky rambunctious nature.

On the drive here, one arm on the wheel and the other on the backrest of your seat, and the setting sun behind his profile, you couldn’t help the way your heart leapt in your chest.

But maybe it’s just the golden hour sunshine that had him bathing in radiance.

Yet, you knew the view of him was just one thing. It was also in his aura. Leaving for college had forcibly hurled all of you into independence, and Jimin’s had left him becoming someone with a quiet hum of reliability.

Even his chronic tardiness had been left behind with high school Jimin. You’ve known Jimin since preschool and after all these years of knowing him, you’re well-accustomed to the pouty apologies that he doles out each time he’s late- which is always. When he’d offered to pick you up at your house at 5pm to drive you to Hobi’s, you’d fully expected to only have him swing by at 5.30. To your surprise, when you’d made your way downstairs at 5, you’d found him sitting in your living room chatting with your mum, as he apparently had been doing for the last 15 minutes.

Jimin notices your arrival and you don’t miss the quick once-over he gives you. But he doesn’t say anything about it as he gets up from the couch- the same couch he’d once stained from tripping and spilling chocolate milk all over way back in middle school- and promises your mum that he’d make sure you come back in one piece. When you got to his car, instead of the candy wrapper and crumbs-strewn car you were expecting, you were met with a surprisingly spotless interior instead. Your previous perception of your best friend- little brother to be taken care of at all times- was shattered with each new discovery that left only a sturdy and dependable version of him in its wake.

You go to take another sip of your drink, only to find that you’ve unknowingly emptied the cup while you were musing over your best friend’s recent transformation. Frowning into the cup, you decide to get a refill.

From the corner of his eye, Jimin spots you moving off the couch and it’s clear you’re heading to the kitchen where the drinks are. The flush of your face is a tell-tale sign of your tipsiness, if your quiet and withdrawn demeanor weren’t already a dead giveaway. He sighs and apologizes to Tae, cutting him off mid-sentence, and heads over to the kitchen after you.

You’re just about to gulp down more of Yoongi’s mulled wine when a hand wraps around yours, preventing the tilt of the cup and stopping you from ingesting any more of the inebriating liquid. A pair of stern eyes are trained on yours, and you wilt under his gaze, letting him take the glass from you.

But no. Your brain suddenly speaks through the fog. Thoughts of him have already plagued your mind all night, keeping you from having fun. But he’s not going to stop your fun any longer. You reach back for the glass, but it’s a weak attempt that’s easily countered as he pulls it away and out of your reach. He quirks an eyebrow at this.

“Stop controlling me,” you whine.

“I’m not,” he scoffs. “I just know you, and know that you won’t like missing the rest of this gathering just because you drank too much too fast.”

“But I’m fine!” Your voice comes out a little louder than you expected.

“Just slow down on the drinks, okay?” His tone is hushed as he attempts to placate you. “How many glasses has it been?”

“Not even that many.” Unlike him, you can’t be bothered to keep your exchange discreet. “Just give me the damn drink, Jimin!”

Unsurprisingly, your bickering has caught the attention of the others. Back in the living room, it’s Hoseok that has been badgered into playing peacemaker. He enters to see the two of you squabbling in his kitchen. But he also sees something else. Someone- most probably the instigator of all chaos in the group aka. Jin- has sneakily hung mistletoe above the drinks station, likely in hopes of catching two unsuspecting people as they got drinks together.

Which turns out to be you and Jimin.

Hoseok’s bright laughter cuts through the thick tension that has settled over the room. You look at him, only to find him pointing at something above your heads, and that’s when you finally look up and spot the mistletoe.

When you look back at Hoseok, the smirk that sits on his face is smug and unbudging.

“You gotta kiss now,” he sings in an equally smug tone.

“No,” you refuse. “No way.”

“Uh-uh, you know the tradition. You’re not escaping this.”

You shake your head adamantly.

“Kiss. Kiss. Kiss,” he goads. “C’moooon it’s just a peck.”

Jimin, who has stayed quiet up till now, finally speaks up. “Am I really that unappealing?”

He’s unreadable, wearing an expressionless mask.

“Okay, fine.” You’re unsure what his words mean, and it has you relenting, giving in to him as you so often do. “It’s just a kiss.”

You lean in, expecting just a chaste peck that will placate Hoseok. But you’re taken by surprise as Jimin cups your face, hand slightly cool on your cheek from your alcohol flush. The sensation is refreshing and you find yourself leaning into it slightly. His face hovers near yours, and the proximity has your heart pounding. Instinctively, your eyes flutter shut as he closes the final few millimetres between you. The kiss he lays on you is hesitant but the tenderness is undeniable, his plush lips nipping yours gently. He pulls back slowly and you can’t help the yearning that grows in tandem with the distance between you. Before you can say anything, he breaks eye contact and turns to Hoseok.

“There. Happy?”

Hoseok is nothing but pleased.

“Definitely.”

You’ve kissed. Jimin and you have just kissed. You kissed Jimin. Well, technically, he kissed you. You just stood there in shock the entire time. But the point is, Jimin, your best friend, and you kissed.

You spend the rest of the night by his side under his insistence that he keeps watch over you. He still refuses to let you drink a sip more. Not that you were putting up a fight anymore after what had just transpired.

At least your quietness for the rest of the night can be pinned on your tipsy state- you’re known to be a quiet drunk.

The rest of the way back home is spent mostly in silence too as you struggle to process what’s just happened. Even up to when you’re pulled up at your house and the engine is cut, you and Jimin merely exchange quiet goodnights.

The silence surrounding it persists till the next day. You’re hanging out in his room, watching a movie. You had said yes to the invitation to laze around in his room for the afternoon way before the unexpected events of the previous night. Even though the thought of seeing him had you antsy as hell, you couldn’t think of a good enough excuse to flake on him, so you dragged yourself over to his place.

It hadn’t been too bad when the movie was playing, you could just fake that you were watching the movie intently. But when it came to an end, so did your excuse for your unusual quietness. So here you are in his room, an empty bowl of what used to be popcorn and an incredibly awkward silence sitting between the two of you.

“Hey, ____,” he begins quietly.

“Hm?”

“We’re still best friends, right?”

Best friends. Right. You can’t deny the way your heart sinks a little at that. Quickly, before he can notice, you plaster on a smile.

“Of course we’re best friends, what are you talking about? We’re Jimin and ____. The dynamic duo. The inseparable pair.”

Jimin smiles faintly at that.

“It doesn’t have to mean anything, y’know?” he starts again. “The kiss, I mean.”

“What?”

“I mean, Hobi was just pestering us into it so, yeah. Can we just forget about it?”

It has you pausing for a beat, but you scramble to agree.

“Yeah, yeah. Forget about it.”

That was all three years ago. You’d been friendzoned a whole three years ago. But still, you couldn’t get over your feelings after three years. You said you’d forget about the kiss, but you never did.

What hurt even more than being friendzoned though was the growing possibility that you were singular soulmates. After that Christmas break, things with Jimin had just gone back to normal, your best friendship persevering over geographical distance as you returned back to your own college campuses.

The kiss had certainly complicated things in that you suddenly had all these feelings for the person who at one time had simply been your best friend. Of course, it wasn’t just the kiss. Perhaps it was that first semester you’d spent apart- the first time your previously inseparable pair had ever really been separated- that made your appreciation for him grow. Or maybe it was the growing up he had done over that time that had you seeing Jimin in a different light and finally considering him properly as a man. The kiss had merely been the seal on the confusing feelings that had been bubbling up inside you since your reunion till the Christmas gathering. You had to come to terms with it- you’d fallen in love with your best friend.

If you were his soulmate, your name would surely have appeared on him by now. But he never mentioned it and the dynamics between you two only continued on as best friends.

And it sucked. You were in love with your best friend, your soulmate, but you weren’t his.

You’d tried dating around, in the last few years. Well, if your name hadn’t appeared on him, then maybe it’d appear on someone else. Maybe you just hadn’t met them yet and hadn’t fallen in love with the right one yet. Heck, maybe when they fell in love with you, their name would appear on you just under Jimin’s. It was an odd idea, you know, and you’d never heard of anyone else having that experience before. Perhaps you should launch your strange query out into the unknown void that is reddit and hope to find a comrade somewhere out there in cyberspace.

But the thought of it, imagining a name under Jimin’s, was just plain revolting to you. And what would they even make of it, having to play second fiddle to someone who’d been in your life through all the finger-painting and scuffed knees and awkward puberty and the countless late-night conversations on anything and everything? After all, your long-standing friendship with Jimin had been built on the kindred spirit that you’d serendipitously discovered in each other all those years ago in the playground of your childhood.

You always had to suffer through this train of thought, didn’t you, each time you were about to meet Jimin. You exhale, huffing out your frustration, and wrap your shawl around you as you step out of your car. It’s his graduation show tonight and the formalwear was a dress code requirement. You’d left all your formal dresses at home and had to borrow your college roomie’s instead. But the one she’d loaned you was strapless and failed to conceal your soulmate mark, hence the shawl to hide it.

By the time you get seated in the auditorium, it’s only a couple of minutes till the show begins. The program booklet keeps you occupied as you search for Jimin’s name to take note of which items he’s in so you can look out for him. But you know that even without it, you’d still spot him any time he’s on stage- his stage presence powerful and captivating enough to hold the audience rapt at attention.

The lights dim, and the conversations in the hall quieten with it. The anticipation for the show to begin is palpable. With a bang, it starts, the first item full of fierce and strong movements. You sink back into your seat, settling in for the entrancing show that the dance majors never fail to provide.

The show goes well, and Jimin’s appeared a number of times now. He exerts this magnetic pull on you, your gaze following him from when he first steps on stage till he runs off into the wings. Having followed his dance journey for so long now, you can see just how much his full-time training has paid off- the lines of his extensions are long and poised, his turns are immaculate. His movements exude passion and emotion, and you can’t look away.

That’s probably why you notice it. It’s as he’s running off stage that he stumbles. It’s small, and he’s almost at the wings, but you see how his ankle rolls and a pang of worry reverberates through you.

The enchantment from earlier is broken and replaced by nothing but concern. Each jump that he lands no longer has you dazzled, but wincing instead as you imagine him landing on his busted ankle. You know Jimin and you know his work ethic. He’ll put the production over his well-being any time and only speak up about it after everything is over and his body left battered with abuse.

There’s a slight relief when the lights finally come back on at the end of the show, but it’s not in its entirety. You need to see Jimin.

You’ve been to enough of his shows to remember the path backstage, and you sneak into the dressing rooms, slipping past the families and friends of the exhausted but happy dancers now crowding the lobby in the usual post-production celebrations.

Now that you’re backstage, your next challenge is finding the right door to Jimin’s dressing room. You spot someone ahead of you carrying an ice pack and figure it must be the person Jimin finally, and most likely begrudgingly, admitted his injury to.

“Jimin-ah,” the person calls, as he opens one of the many doors in the corridor.

“Ah, thank you so much,” you hear Jimin’s cheery voice ring out. You roll your eyes. It’s so like him to be putting on fake smiles to hide just how bad the pain is so that he won’t cause his friend to worry.

Your heels clack annoyingly against the floor, but you can’t find it in you to care to be quiet as you race to see him.

“Jimin!”

“____?”

Maybe you should have knocked. Or maybe you should have texted him that you were coming backstage. But then, you can’t find it in you to regret not doing either of those things because you burst into the room to find Jimin, drained and still in his final costume. That is- a shirtless costume. In your peripheral vision, you register his shocked expression, but your eyes are locked on something else.

Sitting there, just underneath his collarbone, is your name.

Jimin reaches for the first thing he can grab, which happens to be the ice pack, and attempts to cover up the mark, but that only has him hissing from the icy sting on the thin and sensitive skin of his chest.

“You idiot.” Your words are harsh but your tone is nothing but soft.

Sensing the seriousness of the conversation about to go down, his friend excuses himself from the dressing room. But you barely register that either, your mind still fixed on the visual memory of the soulmate mark on your best frie- no, your soulmate’s chest. The mark that matches yours in placement and in font.

You approach him slowly, and kneel next to him where he’s slumped on the floor and leaning against the wall. With a trembling hand, you gently hold his wrist and pull the ice pack away. There it is, skin slightly reddened from the cold, but the delicate swirls of the letters of your name sit crisp and delicate on his chest. Your thumb strokes across the letters, across your name imprinted on his skin.

“When?” You take the ice pack from him and settle it on his swollen ankle.

“Three years ago.” It comes out as a whisper.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” your voice is soft, your eyes shimmering with tears from welled up emotions. He holds your gaze in his as his thumb wipes away the tears that have spilled over.

“I thought you wanted to remain as best friends.”

A sardonic laugh escapes you before you can stop it. “And what gave you that stupid idea?”

Jimin averts his eyes with the next statement, the boring linoleum floor of the dressing room acting as his anchor as he verbalizes the thoughts that had wrung his heart out for so many years now. “I’m not your soulmate, and it’d be really selfish of me to force you into a relationship with me just because you’re mine.”

Your jaw drops. Then you sigh and shake your head lightly. A gentle tug on your shawl has it slipping off your shoulders and folding haphazardly into his lap. You get the satisfaction of watching his eyes go wide, his gaze trained on the script sitting just underneath your collarbone. The thought that it’s an exact replay of your own reaction has you giggling.

“But I-” he stutters, index finger rubbing at his name as if it would rub off. “But you said? We’re still best friends?”

Then his head snaps up to look you dead in the eyes, brows furrowed.

“Wait. Why didn’t you tell me?” he cries.

“We were fourteen!”

“Since we were fourteen?! You knew since we were fourteen and you didn’t tell me?!”

“I figured it was nothing more than pubescent hormones!” you scoff defensively, arms crossed in indignance. “Need I remind you just how many girls you were obsessed with that year?”

“Just one,” he mumbles and you barely catch it.

“What did you say?”

“It was just you,” he whispers. Your arms go slack as you see the earnestness in his eyes. He clears his throat and looks away. “I mean, I’m sure you know the struggle- what if I’m the only one who feels this way? And what if I lose my best friend because we’re not meant to be?”

The way his words resonate with your own sentiments so deeply reminds you just why you’re best friends. He’s captured your thoughts and struggles so astutely, as if you both shared one mind. Perhaps that’s why you’re soulmates after all.

“Is that why you asked me if we were still best friends?”

All you get is a quiet hum in response.

“And is that why you told me the kiss didn’t have to mean anything?”

He sighs. “Like I said, it would have been selfish to just keep you for myself, even if you’re my soulmate. Your soulmate could have been out there somewhere.” He finishes the thought with a chuckle and a shrug. “But not gonna lie, I wish you’d told me sooner. Do you know how difficult it’s been to love you from afar all these years because I thought I wasn’t your soulmate?”

“Oh believe me, I definitely know that struggle firsthand,” you say, echoing his earlier sigh of exasperation at both of your stupidities. “We’re idiots, aren’t we?”

He rolls his eyes, but he’s beaming as he asks, “are we still best friends?”

You snort. “Definitely idiots.”

“Well at least now I know I’m your idiot, idiot.”

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louloubarnes-99 · 3 years

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Darcy the Librarian part 1

Darcy x Steve x Bucky nsfw (eventually! omg)

this is 7k 🥰✨

“Casey, I’ve read this sentence six times.”

Darcy pulled the earphones out and gave the younger woman her full attention. The poor thing was shrugging helplessly, her hand covering the mouthpiece of the landline receiver.

“It’s Ned, I’m sorry –”

Darcy took the phone, swapping seats with her, putting the phone to her ear as she tried to remedy the situation.

“Hello, Ned? It’s Darcy.”

The man on the other end was already yelling, sounding frustrated.

“Hello? Can I – Am I calling the foot doctor? Hello?”

“Ned! I don’t think you can hear me! It’s Darcy. Hello? Ned?”

“Darcy?”

“Yes, it’s Darcy,” she half-yelled, giving Casey a thumbs-up. “You’ve got an appointment with us tomorrow at 11. We’ll see you then!”

“Eleven?” Ned repeated. “Okay. I’ll see ya.”

Darcy hung up and she let out a low sigh, swapping seats with Casey again. She glanced at the clock, then at the screen in front of her. It was mid-morning at the podiatry clinic, both of the receptionists on duty running steadily through the routine. Darcy had been writing another letter to be sent out for auditing purposes, and if it was her working alone she’d be doing them in her sleep. She’d had plenty of dreams of her writing reports and doing work that was piling up and up. Today she was training Casey, reviewing what she’d already written, listening to the Dictaphone, her boss’ voice in her ear.

“Please confirm Ned’s appointment, Casey. The right-click, yeah…”

Casey sat back, giving a little smile when she was done. She was beginning to remember everything, and Darcy could remember that distinct relief. That Thank God something’s finally going right kind of feeling. She didn’t want to burst her bubble, but she found several errors in the letter Casey had typed out.

“No, it’s hyperkeratosis,” she said, picking up her pencil and crossing out the spelling mistake. She tried not to see Casey’s face fall. “And onychauxic.”

She handed it back to Casey, standing up.

“All good. Just fix those and we’ll send it off. I’m going on my break.”

She patted Casey’s shoulder and stepped away, walking down the corridor to the break room, seeing Patrick sitting at the table with his sandwich in his hands.

“Hey,” he mumbled, mouth full. “She doing okay?”

Darcy made a so-so movement with her hand. She hoped he’d keep that to himself, since Casey was his wife’s little cousin. Patrick was the podiatrist, and probably the best boss Darcy had ever had. He was at least one of the friendliest ones she’d had, pulling out the chair beside him for her to sit down with her yoghurt she retrieved from the fridge.

“She’s fine,” she amended, pulling up the chair as she sat down, the legs scraping across the linoleum. “You can tell Linda she’s doing a great job.”

Patrick gave a little chuckle, shaking his head. “I swear, I won’t bring another one like her in again, I like you too much.”

“Well, maybe not so much when I abandon you at 5.30.”

She was referring to what she’d already reminded him of twice that day. She needed to leave a little early tonight because Ian asked her to that morning when she jumped out of bed. Her boyfriend didn’t ask her to do that often, to come home early, unless it was a special occasion. She had already read into it enough to start thinking about engagement announcements. She didn’t want to call her mother but she knew she’d be the first one of her family to know. She hoped Ian didn’t cry too much, because Darcy knew she would when he got down on one knee. She always liked hearing how other people got together, even when people said “oh we met online”. She wanted to ask what exactly drew people to one another.

She took a spoonful of her yogurt and shoved it into her mouth, smirking at Patrick.

“How’d you and Linda meet?”

“Group of friends, mutual friends at a bar,” he murmured, looking away. He blinked. “Christ. I think about that time, all the uncertainty, and now…”

He’d been married several years. Darcy didn’t necessarily like Linda very much, since she was perpetually condescending and always acted like work was what kept Patrick from her, and therefore Darcy was in part to blame, but she thought Patrick seemed happy with her.

Also he’d paid for her boob job last year, not that they ever spoke about it, but Darcy more than noticed those things when she was at his fortieth birthday party last year.

“I feel like we’ve been married longer than we’ve known each other,” he murmured. “I know that doesn’t make sense.”

“I get it,” Darcy said, ducking her head, smiling. “Me and Ian met seven years ago, and I can’t remember life without him. I don’t remember how I used to feel. It’s so weird.”

Patrick nodded, finishing his next mouthful.

“I was a kid when I met him,” she added, rolling her eyes. “How’d you propose?”

“Didn’t really, sort of decided it together,” Patrick murmured. “I didn’t get down on one knee, it was after – uh…”

Darcy watched his face change, his cheeks flushing, and she began to chuckle.

“Yeah, we were both in a really good mood, you could say.”

“Right,” Darcy said, laughing. “Good to know.”

They lapsed into silence and Patrick nodded, chewing. He finished the rest of his food and balled up the plastic wrapping to throw away, checking his watch.

“I better get back.”

“Yeah,” Darcy said. “I’ll be right out.”

He paused at the sink after he washed his hands, drying them on the towel that hung over the oven handle.

“Hey, congratulations, when it does happen,” he said, and Darcy looked up.

He was smiling at her and she returned it, feeling a familiar warmth in her stomach.

“Thanks, Pat,” she murmured.

He left her there and she watched him leave. Unable to truly be professional, her eyes fell to his rear as he went out the door. He wore forty well. She knew his schedule, she knew what he ate for the most part, and she knew that he worked out. If she met him on the street, she’d think he was some kind of sports psychologist or physical therapist if he told her he was a doctor. His clientele was mostly elderly people, the majority of them diabetic, and feet was the last thing that came to mind where Patrick was concerned.

Darcy’s best friend Jane had the pleasure of meeting him once last year, grinning at him like she couldn’t stop herself, and ever since then he was Hot Doctor, or Hot Boss when she and Darcy spoke on the phone.

He was very handsome, and very kind to Darcy, considering how much shit she put him through for the first six months she was there. The office manager had quit, the archives were a mess, and Darcy wasn’t going to put up with it. She drew a line in the sand and fixed so much, and made sure it wouldn’t be so disorganized ever again. It had happened soon after she finished her library studies diploma, and she’d been hoping to use her new qualification somewhere else, but she still got to flex her diligent cataloging skills from time to time.

She returned to the front desk five minutes later, after sending Jane a text:

I think Ian is proposing tonight

She couldn’t keep the thrill from coursing through her, grabbing her bag from under the desk with her phone. She smiled at Casey.

The waiting room had an elderly couple waiting, the Needlers, who both rose their hands to wave goodbye to her as she slipped out down the corridor.

She stuck her head in Patrick’s office, seeing him throw out a plastic sheet, preparing for the next client. She knocked on the doorframe and he spun around.

“You’re gone?”

“Yeah,” she said. “I have my phone in case, y’know… something blows up. Or if Casey blows something up.”

“Have a good night,” he said, and she smiled. “I’ll have a beer in your honor.”

She laughed, turning away and walked out, her stomach flipping. On the drive over, she tried to keep herself calm, but she kept bopping along to the songs on the radio. She kept watching the people in the street. She saw a couple with their toddler in a stroller with a dog on a leash.

She could picture it. A few years ago she’d have rolled her eyes at such a suggestion – her, as a married woman with a kid? But now she’d settled into the podiatrist clinic, she could feel things were stable enough. It wasn’t so crazy. People fell in love all the time, and stayed together...

She pulled up at the apartment block, switching off the car, taking a few deep breaths. She got out and walked up, seeing kids playing in the street.

She paused in the hallway, taking out her deodorant to spritz as subtly as she could. It was August, and her A/C was still broken – she was saving up – and she didn’t want any memory of the proposal to be tainted by her body odor. She stuck the can back in her bag and unlocked the front door, stepping inside and looking around.

“Hi!”

She was tempted to yell out “honey, I’m home” but she was so excited she blurted out the first thing that came to mind, and Ian appeared a few seconds later, his hands in his pockets as she moved down the hallway.

She moved to kiss him on the cheek and he took out a hand, touching her arm.

“I got here as quick as possible. Patrick wasn’t too swamped, thank fuck…”

She gave a little laugh, taking his hand in hers, their fingers twining together. He walked with her in silence, until they reached the living room, and he promptly let her go, gesturing to the person sitting on the couch.

“Darcy, you remember Amy.”

Amy was a petite blonde woman, her hair so light it was almost white. She wore a pastel pink dress, looking like she’d come straight from a garden party. Darcy tried to place her and finally did – she was a friend of theirs through Ian’s sister. She flashed a wide smile, and Darcy watched as Ian moved to sit beside Amy.

“Hi,” Darcy said, shaking her head a little to right herself, trying not to feel the disappointment begin to settle in. She’d completely mistaken this occasion. It was unusual that he didn’t tell her it was Amy coming over. She felt like she’d be better prepared.

She froze as Ian’s hand slipped down to rest on Amy’s thigh, squeezing it.

“Could you sit down, Darce?”

“What’s going on?” she said, staring at his hand. She looked at Amy, seeing her smile falter.

Ian turned his head to look at Amy.

“Darling, could you get her a glass of water?”

Amy nodded, standing up. Darcy gaped after her. She knew where the glasses were in her apartment.

“I was hoping we’d talk about it like adults,” Ian said, his voice soft.

She snapped her eyes to meet his.

“I appreciate you getting here quickly tonight.”

Amy returned with a glass of water, handing it to Darcy. She held it, staring at Ian and Amy on the couch.

“Sit down.”

“I don’t want to take this sitting down,” Darcy blurted. “Whatever this is.”

“I’m moving out,” Ian said, his tone changing. He was edging toward defensive. “I thought it was better that way. I’m moving into Amy’s place.”

She woke up this morning with a completely different person. At least, it felt that way. Darcy could feel she’d gone into shock, unable to feel much at all as he went on in his English lilt.

“I’ll come by when you’re at work, to take my things. We started packing this afternoon.”

Darcy studied Amy’s hand resting in her lap, her nails squared off and clean.

“How long has this been happening?”

Ian stopped mid-sentence, something about an internet bill that Darcy had tuned out. He blinked, clearing his throat.

“Uh, I suppose about eighteen months.”

She let out a breath, looking down at the glass in her hand.

“Okay.”

“I know it’s hard to hear –”

“You don’t know how it feels to hear this,” Darcy said, looking up again, staring him down. “You have no idea.”

She hadn’t been cheated on before. She’d seen her mother go through it.

“Those trips, the ones to California?” she asked, looking at Amy.

The blonde nodded. “Yes.”

“Well,” Darcy murmured, finally putting the glass to her lips to drink, unblinking. “That makes sense.”

He had a West Coast franchise she knew nothing about. She let out a harsh little chuckle, only because it was the only other thing she could do instead of crying. She felt her eyes prickle.

“We’ll go,” Ian said, glancing at Amy.

In that moment, Darcy truly hated them both. She wasn’t sure who she’d attack first if there were no repercussions. Ian would be harder to overpower, since he had the reach of a basketball player. Attacking Amy would be satisfying if she managed to make her scream. She looked elf-like in her features, except for the ample cleavage she had partially hidden beneath her dress.

He was her type, then. Little and curved in all the right places. Except she seemed to be daintier than Darcy ever could be, moving off the couch gracefully, moving into the corridor.

Ian lingered, and Darcy clutched the glass a little tighter, glaring at him.

“Darcy, I know it’s not right –”

“It’s not,” Darcy bit out.

“- but I wanted to be honest.”

Why couldn’t he have broken up with her months ago, years ago? She thought of the last time they had sex and it had another dimension to it – he’d teared up at the time, and she thought he was in one of his rare overwhelmed moments. At the time, she’d comforted him, thinking he’d be embarrassed by being overcome with love.

He’d been crying because he felt guilty.

“So when you came inside me the other night –”

Ian’s eyes widened slightly and she hoped Amy heard every word.

“- you didn’t think that was the ideal time to be honest?”

“Darcy –”

“Whatever, you’re in love. You don’t want anyone to think you’re an asshole,” she muttered, scowling at him. “But are an asshole, Ian. You’re an asshole.”

He drew back, his jaw set. He let out a sigh.

“Fine, I’m gone.”

“Go,” she snapped, and she turned away, doing her best to suppress the sob that bubbled up.

When she heard the front door shut and she knew she was alone, she let out a gasp, the echoing quiet of the apartment haunting her. She put down the water and sunk to the floor, putting her face in her hands.

She spent the night looking back on seven years, wondering when he decided to betray her. She tried to think of a moment that was the catalyst. Was it when they moved in together? Eighteen months ago she was at the podiatrist clinic. Ian was working for the investment firm.

She remembered they told each other they were soulmates. She’d never been closer to someone in her entire life.

He’d hardly spoken to Amy the night they met her. It was his sister’s engagement party and she was a random stranger in the background, someone Darcy had never thought she should note. Ian was her person, and she was his.

Amy?

She hardly slept, crying and fuming, rolling around, so alone. She wanted a time machine. She wanted ignorance. She wanted to find the moment when he switched. She still wanted him, despite how confused and furious she felt.

How had she not seen this coming? Had he hinted at it, ever? Had he laid clues somewhere for her to find? She’d never suspected it. He was always such a dork, he had no ability to flirt with anyone but her in his clumsy, awkward way.

She dragged herself down to the clinic and opened up for the morning, feeling puffy-eyed and exhausted. She heard Patrick come in and walk up behind her like he did every day, and she thought of what to say, every option sounding so humiliating and stupid.

“Hi,” she murmured, unable to force the smile. “Your files are there for the morning.”

Her voice was rough and she cleared her throat. She kept her eyes on the screen, pulling up the emails. She began scrolling and heard Patrick pick up the stack of files.

“Bit of a rush today?”

“Yeah,” she replied, nodding. She was thankful that he wasn’t asking her anything personal. He sounded subdued.

She turned around, seeing him search her face and she smiled, a little one that didn’t reach her eyes.

“Ned Campbell will probably run late. His daughter’s meant to pick him up and she’s in Buffalo.”

“I’ll try to work around it,” Patrick replied, and he gave a little smile of his own. “Get yourself a coffee, okay?”

“Yeah, I’m on it,” she said, standing up fast, walking out before he could say anything else.

She covered her mouth as she waited for the coffee to pour through the machine. She dabbed at her eyes with a tissue when she returned to her desk, hearing the first clients come in.

“Shelly, hi,” she called to the little old lady. “You didn’t bring Buffy!”

Buffy was her dog. Shelly waved at Darcy, shaking her head.

“Too hot in the car. And on the pavement, too…”

“Right, that’s a good call,” Darcy said.

She was able to lapse into the role soon enough, except every half an hour or so she’d come back to the realization that last night was not a dream and she’d blink up at the ceiling. It was harder when Casey came in, fifteen minutes late, her smile dropping when she saw no ring on Darcy’s finger.

“Bummer,” she said. “I brought you prosecco.”

“Oh, you didn’t have to do that,” Darcy said, waving her off. “We… we broke up, actually.”

Casey’s eyes bulged and she scooted closer to Darcy, her mouth falling open.

“No! Why? What happened?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Darcy said, and she went back to the paperwork in the pile next to her, scanning the text. “We need to work on this letter together.”

She took her lunch break later than usual, but she wasn’t able to avoid Patrick, since Casey passed on the bad news. His eyes were trained on her as she slipped into the chair next to him.

“Are you alright, Darcy?” he asked, his voice quiet.

“I don’t need to go home,” she murmured.

She opened her yogurt and scooped some out, taking a mouthful. It tasted too sweet. In truth, she wanted a stiff drink, but this would have to do for now. She realized she hadn’t answered his question.

“I’ll be okay,” she added.

“Are you sure?” Patrick asked, and he looked toward the doorway. “We could manage, if you want to go…”

“I’ll stay,” she said, patting his hand on the table. “I might even stay back, there’s shit to do.”

Her cursing always made him smile at her and he didn’t disappoint. They ate in silence, until Darcy heard Casey calling for her, sounding out of sorts.

The rest of the afternoon flew by, and Darcy sent Casey home, telling her she’d do the end of day banking and paperwork. Casey gave her a little sympathetic hug that made Darcy want to shove her away, but instead she patted her shoulder twice before they drew apart.

“You know, if you need someone to talk to, I’m always here,” Casey whispered. “I’m the one all my girlfriends talk to.”

“I’ll keep that in mind, thanks,” Darcy murmured, trying her best to grin and bear it.

Casey held up the little bottle of prosecco, enough for two drinks, handing it to Darcy.

“Thanks,” Darcy said again.

When she was finally alone she let her head fall onto the desk, hitting it there a couple times, sighing when she sat up again. She grabbed the prosecco, twisting it open and put it to her lips, taking a long gulp. She added up the cash in the till, taking sips from the little bottle, moving steadily through the work.

“Hey, Darce?”

Patrick was calling to her from down the corridor and she stopped midway through shutting down her computer.

“Yeah?”

He didn’t answer and she frowned, ducking down to grab her belongings, snatching her prosecco before trudging down the corridor, stepping into his office.

Patrick was sitting back in his chair, a beer open, his sleeves pushed down to his elbows. His eyes fell to Darcy’s bottle and he smirked.

“Glad to see I’m not the only one who can drink on the job,” he murmured.

“Yeah.”

She walked in, throwing her bag on the floor as she sat in the special chair, putting her bottle to her lips again. Technically, neither of them were working.

“How long will you stay back?” she asked, Patrick’s back to her once more as he opened his emails up again, scrolling down.

He gave a little shrug. “I dunno. Don’t really want to go.”

He clicked off, turning again, and Darcy watched him move closer, looking at her sneakers. She’d replaced her kitten heels with them, since no-one was meant to be impressed by her after 5PM, at least no clients.

She nodded, thinking of having to drag herself back to the empty apartment, to see the photos on the shelves and the two sets of everything all over the place. Ian had left his toothbrush in his hurry yesterday, and that morning she’d contemplated scrubbing the toilet bowl with it and not telling him.

“I don’t wanna go home,” she whispered.

Patrick got up and Darcy stared at him, sitting back in the chair as he moved toward her, his hand coming up…

“Darcy –”

“What’re you doing?” she cut in, and she felt his hand touching her face, tracing her cheekbone.

He’d never come this close to her before. She’d given him a hug before, like at his birthday party, but this felt like something beyond a platonic touch. He was watching her, licking his lips nervously.

“We could maybe – I thought, I-I…”

“Patrick,” she whispered, and he lowered his face to meet hers, pulling her into an embrace.

She felt his lips brush against her neck and she went still.

“Patrick. Pat. Honey –”

“God, I want you,” he breathed, and he drew back, searching her face. “I think you and Ian breaking up was a sign, for me to finally do something…”

“What are you talking about? Since when?” Darcy said, her eyes widening.

“Since always,” he said, and he kissed her, a peck on the lips.

Darcy’s face felt hot and she felt like she couldn’t breathe, her heart racing as he kissed her again, deeper, his tongue pressing into her mouth as he moaned.

“I love you,” he breathed, pulling back, and Darcy shook her head.

“You don’t love me,” she whispered.

“Yes, I do,” he said, and he kissed her neck, moving down.

Darcy kept still as his hand went under her skirt, reaching between her thighs, and she was pulled back the second his fingers brushed the seam of her, over the crotch of her underwear.

“I have to go,” she yelped, and she pushed him against his chest, stumbling off the chair and grabbing her bag from the floor.

“Darcy, can we talk about this?” he said, and she shook her head. He was sitting on the floor, reality catching up with him, too. “Oh, fuck…”

He passed a hand over his face and Darcy closed her eyes to steady herself.

“I won’t come in tomorrow,” she said, and he nodded.

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” he said, and she nodded, just trying to get out the door, inching toward it. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”

“Please don’t,” Darcy breathed, and she ducked out, feeling the blood rushing in her ears as she fled, the door slamming behind her.

She got to her car and slammed the door shut, breathing heavily as she tried to understand what the fuck had just happened. And she felt, beneath it all, that she was turned on.

“Oh, God,” she gasped, putting her face in her hands, letting her face rest on the steering wheel.

She tried to think of what to do, her mind going to that office, picturing racing back in and confronting Patrick by climbing on top of him and kissing him. The last 24 hours had been hell, and she might be lonely enough to do that – but she knew, not even deep down, that she’d hate herself for it. He was married, for fuck’s sake.

“Oh, God,” she said again with a groan.

She shoved the keys in the ignition and took off down the street, flipping through the channels on her radio until she found a song she knew.

She began to sob as she sat at the traffic lights, Angel Of The Morning unable to drown her out. A woman stared as she crossed the road, since Darcy made such a racket. She cranked up the speakers louder, her car shuddering with the bass.

She bought a frozen pizza and a giant family-sized Caesar salad, before stopping by the liquor store, where she grabbed two cold 40s and retreated to her apartment. She drank and ate while she watched Love Actually and cat videos, growing more miserable the drunker she got.

She fumbled for her phone the following morning, her head throbbing with the hangover headache she sustained, and she saw Jane was FaceTiming her as she squinted down blearily at her phone.

“Hey – what the fuck, what happened to you?”

“I guess the radio silence could, um, be a red flag,” Darcy mumbled, rubbing her eyes. She didn’t remember taking her makeup off, so there was a high chance that she was resembling a raccoon.

Jane looked good, the sun in her hair, her brow furrowed with concern.

“Uh, Ian left me. And my boss tried to hook up with me,” Darcy said, and Jane’s eyes bulged.

“Oh, Darcy. Darcy –”

“I don’t want the –” Darcy waved around, the movement a terrible idea in her condition. “- fuss. I’m fine. I drank too much last night, but I’ve got the day off.”

Thinking about having to make herself go back tomorrow had her filled with dread so sudden and shame-filled that she shut her eyes, groaning.

“You should get another job.”

“Yeah, probably,” she muttered. “But where? I don’t have any references.”

“Put me down.”

“I can’t keep doing that. I helped you out one summer. I need Patrick…”

Jane’s lips were pressed together in a thin, grim line. Darcy hated that she tended to only hear about her problems, never good news. She hoped she’d be telling her she was going to be her Maid of Honor. That hopeful, pleasant little world felt so far away. Darcy sighed.

“I’ll ask around. Some places are trying to hire new librarians for the new school year. They’re going back soon.”

“Right,” Darcy said, but she didn’t think much would come from it.

She was a qualified technician with limited experience. She didn’t know the right people, and she knew it was all about networking. She learned that far too late, which was how she ended up at Patrick’s office instead of in a library.

“Seriously, I’ll check for you. Ian left…?”

“He did, he went to stay with his girlfriend.”

“What?” Jane snapped, appalled. “Since when would he -? That fucking weasel –”

“It’s Amy, his sister’s friend. Go on Instagram, she’s got tits out to –”

Darcy gestured holding two heavy things in her hands, shrugging.

“Well, they’re out like mine…”

“You can’t stay there,” Jane said. “It’s full of Ian.”

Darcy picked up the remnants of her Old English 800 that sat by her bed and took a swig, making a face. She tried to remember last night and only could get snapshots of things.

“Darcy?”

“Yeah. Just – moving? A new job? I don’t wanna do that again…”

Jane went quiet and Darcy felt a wave of dread like yesterday, her eyes misting. She’d known Jane longer than she’d known Ian. She wondered if she’d be able to tell her what she was like before he came around.

“Darcy, it’s going to be okay.”

“Yeah, well,” Darcy whispered, her voice thin. “It’s gonna have to be.”

She nursed the hangover, cleaned up the mess of the leftover pizza, the empty salad carton, and the empty bottles. She did laundry, threw things into boxes, and tore up pictures.

By the late afternoon, she sent an email through to Casey, informing her that she was taking tomorrow off as well. She tried to not think about the clinic falling to pieces without her there.

She changed by the hour. She’d be destructive and throwing Ian’s belongings around, ripping up mementos while playing loud music through the TV, and then she’d be wracked with sobs and wishing he was there to hold her.

She looked at the classifieds and tried to find somewhere to go – she wasn’t sure how desperate the situation was when she didn’t have a job to go back to, not if she wasn’t going to show up again on Monday. It felt less likely with each hour that passed on that Friday.

She called up landlords the Saturday, feeling wretched, since the last time she didn’t have to do this alone. She’d had Ian, and the process was shared. She wished she had someone to bear that weight with her, but she knew she had no choice. She had a fleeting moment of clarity – she should move out and sleep in her car! Then she reeled at the thought of being that alone and vulnerable in the world.

She found a listing an hour away from her and took the plunge, calling the number. In the rush, she asked to see the place as soon as possible. The owner sounded friendly enough, maybe a little surprised that she was insisting on seeing the advertised piece of shit.

“How much is the bond?” Darcy asked, within a few minutes of being there.

The owner was a middle-aged woman named Maureen, who for whatever reason didn’t seem bothered by the stifling heat that was affecting Darcy. She was sweating through her shirt, dripping down her bare legs.

“It’ll be about eleven-hundred,” replied Maureen. She frowned. “Do you mind me asking what the rush is, hon?”

“I’m not fleeing, like, a bounty hunter or something,” Darcy said, and Maureen didn’t laugh. “I, uh, ended a relationship.”

She got a few texts that morning from Ian, asking when he could come over to get more of his things. She’d told him she’d be out for a few hours, when in truth she’d packed up most of her things when she could sleep last night and had shoved them all into her car, ready to escape the apartment as soon as possible. She’d even taken the key off of her chain and left it on the table.

“Can I move in today?”

“Sure,” Maureen said. “You got cash?”

“I can go get some.”

Darcy departed, came back ten minutes later and Maureen handed her the keys, giving her a shrewd look when she was done counting the notes Darcy laid in her unturned palm. She signed the tenancy agreement, handing it back to Maureen, waiting for the signal that everything was okay.

She rose her fingers to give Maureen a cautious peace sign, a little smile forming.

“Yeah? We good? Awesome.”

She only cried later that night, nursing her beer as she heard the echoes off life outside the walls.

She got a phone call on the Monday, when she’d been expecting Patrick chasing after her, only to find an unknown number on the display.

“Hello?” she said when she picked up, shifting to sit up on her elbows.

She’d slept on the floor in her sleeping bag. She hadn’t bought a mattress yet. She was close to asking for money from her mother, who had only been told the bare minimum about the breakup with Ian.

“Hi, am I speaking to Darcy Lewis?”

She didn’t recognize the voice. It wasn’t Patrick’s wife as far as she could discern, and she cleared her throat.

“Uh, yeah. This is she.”

“Great, I was wondering if you could come in for a meeting. My name is Maria Hill, I work at Sacred Heart –”

“I’m sorry?”

“Doctor Foster passed on your resume, and we’re hoping to find someone to help us with the library at our school. Is this a bad time?”

Darcy began to crawl out of the sleeping bag as fast as possible, looking around, before taking the phone away from her ear to see the time. It was after 10AM and she wondered if it was that obvious she’d been sleeping.

“This is a great time, Maria, thank you for calling me,” Darcy said, frantically snatching her bra from the floor, looking around for her pants. “I would love to meet.”

“Is today too soon, or -?”

“I can-I can do today,” Darcy said. “Whereabouts?”

Maria gave her the address and Darcy made a vague affirming sound, pretending she knew exactly where it was. She walked over to her laptop on the kitchen bench and flipped it open, Googling the name of the school as Maria confirmed a time.

“See you then.”

“Yes, I’m looking forward to it,” Darcy replied, promptly hanging up and scrolling through the search results.

A “rich tradition, with Christian values”, the website read. The children on the homepage wore navy and yellow uniforms.

“What the fuck,” Darcy muttered, making a face.

She pulled up at the school’s front parking lot, stepping out in her pencil skirt, hoping she hadn’t sweated through the sharp blazer she wore on top of her silk blouse.

She shoved her feet into her kitten heels and grabbed her handbag, looking around.

It was a quiet street, which was understandable for the time of year. No-one would be around, except maybe maintenance staff, and Darcy’s car was the only one parked there. She felt her phone buzz and she checked it, seeing Ian texting her back:

What the fuck????

He must have found her key, and the note that told him the lease was his problem to solve. She turned off her phone, shoving it back into her bag as she took a deep breath, walking up the front steps.

She knocked, trying to peer into the stained-glass window in the door. It was trying to see through a piece of boiled candy and she stood back, glancing over her shoulder. There was loud, distant banging sound that made her jump and Darcy went rigid, eyes wide.

The door burst open and she startled again, the sweat on her brow dripping down.

A woman with a short brown ponytail met her eye, offering her hand.

“Darcy?”

“Yeah,” she replied, taking her hand to shake. “Maria?”

“Yes,” she said. “You find everything okay?”

“Yeah, am I – can I park here?”

“You probably could get a spot in the teachers’ one around the back, but we use both during the summer anyway. Follow me.”

Darcy nodded, watching as Maria turned her back and walked inside. The front hallway was dimly lit, and Darcy was hit with the scent of paint and dust. She saw a large painting of Mary holding baby Jesus and tried not to react to it, her eyes swivelling over the walls as they walked down the hall into a larger corridor.

“Classrooms,” Maria said, gesturing. “Kindergarten down here and then first grade. I’ll take you in somewhere here…”

“I kinda heard a loud, uh, ruckus earlier?” Darcy said, and Maria glanced at her, her brow lifting, and she smirked.

“A ruckus?” she repeated.

“Was that not an appropriate word –?”

There was a second bang, much louder, unadulterated by the school’s walls. Darcy flinched, while Maria only glanced toward the sound, vaguely interested.

“That’s Mr. Barnes, he’s moving things around,” she murmured. She smirked again. “He’s the ruckus.”

She pushed open a door marked 1R and Darcy followed her. She was met with a couple dozen tiny desks, all of them lowered, with tiny chairs, sitting in a horseshoe shape. There were posters for the alphabet and numbers on the walls, along with a painting of Jesus above the clock, his eyes fixed on Darcy as she moved to copy Maria, who was grabbing a regular-sized chair from the front of the classroom.

“I was sent your resume at a pretty good time, all things considered,” she said, and Darcy nodded, looking away from spooky Jesus, only to see a photograph of the Pope waving at her on the whiteboard.

Maria didn’t seem to notice how distracted Darcy was.

“Our situation has changed a lot in the last semester, even in the last couple of months,” she said, placing her hands in her lap. “Our library is in dire need of organization, re-organization. We’d want our students to have a better library environment in this new school year.”

Darcy bit her lip.

“I’m – I’m a technician, I’m not a librarian,” she said. “I can’t teach.”

She wasn’t selling herself at all. She figured the unconventional style of this interview had thrown her off-balance. There was another distant bang but she didn’t jump that time, instead staring at Maria, waiting for her reply.

“We had needed to juggle our staff after our librarian left quite suddenly in May,” Maria said. “Other teachers are stepping up, but our collection is in dire need of help. From what I heard from your references –”

“Y-You spoke to Doctor -?”

“Yes, I spoke to Doctor Foster and Doctor Chandler,” Maria said, flipping open the file she had, showing what Darcy recognised as a copy of her resume. “They both said you were a remarkable young woman.”

Darcy’s brows lifted, especially since Doctor Chandler was Patrick.

“Really? What did the podiatrist say, specifically?”

“Basically that I’d be a moron if I didn’t hire you immediately,” Maria said, another smirk forming. She shut the file, glancing out the window. Her eyes swung back to meet Darcy’s. “I’m not the principal. I’m the deputy. To make a long story short, Miss Lewis, we’re in a pretty messy situation as a school. The kids are back in less than three weeks and the library looks like a pipe bomb went off in it.”

Darcy blinked. “Right.”

“I would be taking you on as a technician, not a teacher.”

“I don’t know if I’m… I didn’t apply for a job here, I don’t remember anything being advertised –”

“Your name popped up in my network,” Maria said, and she stood up suddenly.

There was another bang.

Darcy mirrored her, smoothing her skirt down, hoping she hadn’t left a sweat patch on the chair. Maria didn’t seem interested, instead moved to walk out, pausing when she took hold of the doorknob.

“I’m not going to sugar-coat it. It’s a big job, and you wouldn’t have a lot of time if you were aiming to finish it enough for kids to use the library on the first day back.”

Darcy nodded. “Right.”

“I have other people to see as well. We didn’t advertise for this role but word of mouth tends to work better than any recruiting website.”

Darcy nodded again. She didn’t think she’d get this job. A better qualified person, maybe a teacher librarian looking for a change, would get it. She departed from the classroom, slipping into the corridor. Maria took her hand and shook it.

“If you don’t mind, I’ll be heading toward that ruckus you heard earlier,” Maria said, and Darcy nodded, feeling her face flush.

“Good to meet you,” Darcy said.

She stopped walking and watched Maria walk down another hallway and out of sight, another bang ringing out in the distance, and then a couple yells. It sounded like Maria was investigating, muffled yells going back and forth, and Darcy gave a little sigh, adjusting her bag on her shoulder before she moved back the way they came through.

She stopped at the Mary painting, leaning forward to see the tiny brushstrokes on the blue gown she was swathed in, along with the tiniest text beneath.

Sister Siobhan O’Keefe, 1908

“Holy shit,” she whispered, stepping back. “Go Siobhan…”

She walked outside, the sun in her eyes, and she got in her car, putting her keys in the ignition. She turned them, but the car remained silent.

At that moment, another car pulled up, parking several spaces away from her, and she felt her cheeks flush again with embarrassment. Her car had been idling the other day when she was in traffic but she hadn’t taken any notice, of fucking course, because she was on her way home the day Ian told her about Amy.

Her battery was dead. She waited for the person in their car to get out, hearing their door shut. She tried again in vain, closing her eyes.

“Please…”

She couldn’t afford a tow truck. She gnawed at her lip, feeling the bullets of sweat glide down her back as she tried to shove down the growing anxiety. She had money for a bus ticket, at least…

She glanced over at the car and saw a man standing there wearing a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, watching her.

“Fuck me,” she said under her breath, because he was cute as hell.

Blonde with blue eyes, muscular and tall like a football player. He frowned, signalling her to lower her window. Darcy shook her head hastily, opening her door.

“My battery’s dead,” she called, feeling like her face was on fire.

“I thought so,” he said, and she nodded, flashing an awkward smile.

He went to his trunk and held up a jumper cable and Darcy blinked.

“You want help? Unless you wanna call someone –”

“No, please, I mean, thank you –”

She motioned for him to come closer. He walked over, leaning down, and Darcy wiped some sweat from her face.

“I just – I was in there before, I don’t want – I mean, I already fucked up the job interview, I don’t want this to end in mortification.”

The man’s eyebrows lifted. “Really? Interview?”

“Yeah, you work here?”

“Yeah,” he said, and he gestured to her hand resting on the keys in the ignition. “One more time, see what happens.”

She tried again, but nothing happened. She let out a sigh.

“Yeah, I’ll need that jumper cable.”

“Just a sec,” he said, moving back.

Darcy watched as he moved the car closer until it was facing hers, and he slipped out again to pop the hood, which was when Darcy decided she needed to move out of the front seat and try to pretend she knew what was happening.

She’d only been in this situation once before with Ian and he took over. She’d taken that for granted, not knowing something as basic as this. She knew how to change a tyre, too, but she didn’t think it was something she should do, necessarily.

He seemed to be doing fine without her pretending to supervise him, and Darcy watched him attach the cables, moving back and forth between the two cars.

Her car sprang to life after he told her to give it another try, and she let out a laugh, so relieved.

“God, thank you so much,” she said, and he smiled at her.

“Anyone else woulda done it,” he said, and Darcy kept smiling.

She was fucking lucky he showed up when he did. He went to his trunk to get out a carton of books and rose a hand in a short wave.

“Thank you!” she called from her window, pulling her seatbelt on.

He walked up to the front door and disappeared inside as Darcy drove off.

#darcy lewis x steve rogers x bucky barnes #darcy lewis #steve rogers x reader #darcy lewis x steve rogers #darcy lewis x bucky barnes #wintershieldshock #fanfiction

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itsjustmyfantasyroom · 4 years

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Sweetheart 3

This was co written with my amazing @thatesqcrush !! Thank you for helping me out with this my lovely your a gem xx

Warning: This once again talks about readers assault and talks of the usual SVU stuff.

Hope you guys enjoy this series as much as we liked writing it

Enjoy xx

Nick ended up staying with Amanda that night and Sonny stayed at yours on the couch; luckily he had a spare suit in the car. You woke up shaking and screaming in the middle of the night, Sonny rushed in to comfort you, sitting on the end of the bed till you fell back to sleep.

You guys were all standing outside of the conference centre waiting for Liv, Fin and Rafael. Amanda was standing shoulder to shoulder with you, which is what she used to do back in Atlanta. Sonny and Nick both noticed your shaking hands. Nick put his hand on your shoulder,

“We are here, you will be safe-.”

“Safe from what?” you moved your head to look around Nick to see Rafael standing there looking extremely handsome in a grey two piece suit.

“Nothing Counselor” you spoke up before anyone else could say anything, giving him a smile.

The day went smoothly. Nick and Sonny were always with you or Amanda, never leaving you alone. Rafael wondered what was going on. He was hoping he would have gotten a chance to talk to you again after how the conversation had ended in office last week. He had feelings for you but he didn’t think you had felt the same till what you said that day.

It was the last talks for the day and Liv had paired you up with Rafael. Nick tried to talk his way into going with you as well, but Liv was firm he had to go with her and Fin and Sonny with Amanda. You guys had managed to stay clear of your old squad till his point.

“Barba, I know we don’t like each other, but I need you to do something”

“Ok” Rafael frowned at Nick

“Don’t leave Y/N alone”

“Care to tell me why Detective?”

“Just do what I’ am asking Counselor, me entiendes?”

Your talk with Rafael had finished. A couple times you both caught yourselves staring and would give each other a small smile. Most of the talk he watched as your scribble over the notepad that you were meant to be using for writing notes.

You were standing at a cocktail table waiting for the others come out,

“So, green eyes and suspenders?” You started to giggle.

“Yes Counselor, know anyone?” his infamous smirk came on his face.

He pulled a card out of his chest pocket and handed it to you

“I’ll be waiting for a message”

“Sure Counselor” you giggled, putting the card into your bag.

----

You were all standing around the cocktail table with a drink talking and laughing while Liv was making herself social. You were standing between Nick and Rafael when you heard yours and Amanda’s names.

You turned around and saw Liv laughing, walking towards the table with yours and Amanda’s old Captain and another blonde female Detective.

Rafael and Nick felt you tense up and your breathing becoming heavy. Nick grabbed your hand and squeezed it, while leaning over whispering in your ear. This wasn’t missed by Rafael who felt sting of jealousy, but was also confused by your reaction.

“Here are my girls. Benson you’re lucky to have them in your squad, they were my dream team. Well until Peggy came long of course” He looked down smiling at the female Detective standing next to him.

Amanda gave you a look and walked over to shake his hand, which he pushed away to hug her. Sonny and Nick, both straightened up getting prepared. Rafael also noticed this but was confused at why they were acting like that.

“Nice to see you again Captain” Amanda pulled out of his embrace and gave him a small tight smile.

“Y/N, you going to come and say Hello sweetheart?” your old Captain smiled over to you.

You pulled your hand out of Nick’s and walked over with a blank look on your face as he held out his arms to hug you. You stood stiff in his embrace and pulled away as quick as he pulled you in.

****

You were woken by loud knocks on your door. You looked at your bedside table clock, it was 5.30 am

“Coming” you yelled as you hurried to the door. You looked through the peephole to see Sonny. You unbolted the door and swung it open.

“What’s wrong Sonny?”

“You need to get dressed and come with me. He’s done it again.”

Sonny filled you in on the car ride over to the squad room. The young female Detective who was with your Captain the day before, had ended up at the Hospital with multiple injuries identical to yours. They were holding the Captain for questioning and she was going to testify after Amanda went and had a talk with her.

You both walked into the bullpen to see Amanda sitting with Rafael and Liv in the interview room. Amanda stood up off her chair and walked out to you, grabbed your hand and pulled you into the room to a confused Liv and Rafael both looking up at you.

“You need to tell them, everything.” Amanda squeezed your hand

You burst into tears, pulled out of Amanda’s hands and ran out to the lifts, too fast for anyone to stop you. Sonny stormed into the room after seeing you rush by.

“What did you say to her?” He all but shouted at them.

“Just that she had to tell them everything” Amanda had a sad look on her face.

“WHAT IS GOING ON?” Rafael spat at them.

Amanda and Sonny looked at each other.

“Y/N has been assaulted by him too. More than once. Pretty badly the last time, it was a punishment for her leaving.” Sonny looked between Liv and Rafael.

“Carisi, take me to her place, now” Rafael stood up and headed to the lifts.

****

After you left the squad room, you went straight home, changed into track pants and an oversized t shirt. You put some music on and poured a glass of wine. It was only 7 am and you hadn’t had breakfast but you didn’t care. You just wanted to forget. You sculled two full glasses and had just poured a third when there was a knock at the door. You let it go hoping they would go away. Then there was another knocks.

You made your way to the door and swung it open to see Rafael standing there looking between you and the full glass in your hand.

“Can I come in?” you stood aside for him to walk passed. You followed him into your apartment stopping as you reached him sculling the full glass in one go.

“How many have you had?” He was frowning at you

“This was my 3rd, I’ am going to have another. Want one?”

“No, and no you’re not” You looked at him and you could tell he wasn’t happy, he walked over to you taking the wine glass out of your hand sitting on the bench.

“What do you want Rafael?”

“What did he do to you?” he said just above a whisper with sad eyes.

“You can’t handle it. I barely can.” Tears rushed down your cheeks. Rafael grabbed you and pulled you into him holding you tight, running his hands through your hair. After a little while you settled your crying so you could talk, you looked up into his eyes, your nose just millimetres from his.

“If I told you, you would never look at me the same again. And I don’t want that. I like how you look at me now.”

Rafael closed the gap between you and kissed you lightly on the lips. He pulled away and cupped your face, running his thumb over your cheek.

“I will never look at you any different, I promise, I like you too much. But we need to put him away”

You huffed at him, pulling away leaning down to get the file from the last draw and handed it to him. He put the file on the bench and opened it. His eyes filled with tears as he skimmed the medical report and then saw the photos.

He turned on the spot and pulled you into him wrapping his arms around your shoulders, yours around his middle resting your face on his chest hearing his heartbeat.

“How could he do this to you?” tears were slowly running down his face.

“My rape kit is in the hospital storage, I just have to make the call, and it will be his DNA. He didn’t use a condom that time. He recorded it as well. He has a hard drive in his second draw that has a lock.”

“I will never let anybody hurt you again mi Amor” Rafael kissed your forhead.

“You knowing this doesn’t change how you feel about me?”

“Of course not Y/N. Just makes me want to put him away for that much longer.”

Rafael ended up spending the night with you after going home to get a fresh suit for the next day. You weren’t sure at first. Since finding out about the seminar, the nightmares were happening every night. You woke up at some point screaming and shaking. Rafael was already awake, you’re tossing and turning had woken him. As soon as you sat up he pulled you into him comforting you and then pulled you into his chest running his fingers through your hair till you fell back asleep.

****

“Y/N, you need to show Liv this file”

You were standing nursing your coffee at the kitchen bench and you nodded at him.

“Do you want to ask me anything?” you kept looking down

He took a step closer to you, putting his arm around your waist pulling you into his side.

“When did it start?”

“4 months after I started. It was just general touching then it escalated. Amanda caught him one day trying to touch me up in the locker room. That’s when we tried to band together. It worked for a while till he caught on. He took my virginity.” A tear fell down your cheek.

Rafael squeezed your hip and kissed your shoulder. Hearing that broke his heart. This monster took that from you and it would be something he knew you would never forget. He wanted to change that, he wanted to show you the love you deserved, but he needed to get you through this trial first.

“Why didn’t you leave?” he said just above a whisper.

“I tried, 5 times. He blocked it every time. I couldn’t just quite, I had bills and loans. That’s how that attack happened. I sent my transfer papers to Amanda and Liv signed them going over his head. When I got them back I filed them and gave my notice, then a couple of days later…..You don’t need to hear the rest”

You drank down your coffee and grabbed your bag putting the file in it and pulling his hand for you guys to leave.

From the moment you got into the taxi till you pulled up and walking into the prescient, Rafael didn’t let go of your hand. As the lift doors opened and you both stepped out, Rafael pulled you to face him and gave you a light kiss on the lips,

“We are in this together now. You and me” You smiled at him and lent over and gave him another light kiss back. Still not letting go of your hand, you both made your way into an empty bullpen.

“They are in Liv’s office” Rafael nodded towards it.

Rafael pulled you towards the door and opened it to everyone standing in there all looking mad, with Chief Dodds standing in the corner. You quickly let go of Rafael’s hand so the Chief didn’t see, you didn’t need to deal with that as well as everything else going on.

“What’s going on?” Rafael looked between everyone frowning.

“Barba” the Chief crossed his arms in front of himself “You need to come up with a deal, he is one of our own”

“The hell I’ am. I have 3 credible witnesses and rock solid evidence, all willing to testify. I’ll be requesting the maximum”

You were still standing behind Rafael, when Amanda grabbed you around the waist, pulling you to stand next to her and Sonny.

“You can’t be serious” Chief Dodds shot back at him

“Deadly” Rafael snarled at him

“Who are the other two victims?” Chief Dodds looked at Liv who looked between you all.

“Rollins and Y/L/N”

“Oh come on” Chief Dodds threw his hands up in the air and shook his head.

You opened your bag and took out the file walking over and handing it to him. Dodds all but snatched it out of your hand to look at what was inside. When he came to the photo’s his mouth slightly dropped opened. Amanda grabbed your hand and you felt Sonny put his arms around your shoulders. Chief Dodds shut the file and handed it to Liv, who started to go through it shocked at what was inside looking up at you with wide eyes handing documents to Fin when she finished.

“My rape kit is in hospital storage, I just have to make the call and he has a recording, locked in his desk draw. You’ll find my attack consistent with Peggy’s. I was also Amanda outcry witness, every time.”

“Lock the son of a bitch away” Chief Dodds stormed out of the office leaving you all standing there.

“Y/N, why didn’t you tell me” Liv stood up and made her way over to you taking your free hand in her’s.

“I didn’t want anyone to look at me different. Look at me like I’ am broken”

“We are family here, no one would have thought that. Now I know why Amanda was pushing for me to take you” Liv gave you a small smile

“Liv, Fin I need you take Y/N and Amanda’s statements. I need you both at my office this afternoon to run over them for trial tomorrow. I have to go, if any of you need me, call.”

You were still standing being comforted by Amanda and Sonny, Rafael gave you a small smile as he turned away. You pulled away from everyone and rushed out the door after him.

“Rafael” he stopped and turned around looking at you. You walked up to him wrapping your arms around his neck and kissed him lightly on the lips. He wrapped his free arm around you waist and kissed you back lightly. After a moment he pulled back and rested his forehead to yours

“I’ll see you this afternoon, we can order in tonight” you nodded as he kissed your forehead pulling away to leave.

Tags:

@neely1177

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theofficefantasyfootball · 4 years

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WEEK 5 - Wrap Up

You Pissing Excellence? It’s Week 5 - you better be!

youtube

I can’t believe it but we are fast approaching the half way point of this fantasy season. And I know I have spent the past few weeks encouraging you and telling you it’s okay, don’t worry, there’s a lot of time left, you can do it kind of stuff- but the reality is - it’s time for some tough love. It’s time to get your crap together guys. I know there are lots of injuries. I know that there are issues with covid. Enough with the excuses. We know. Life is hard. In the words of the great Ricky Bobby - if you’re not first your last. Seems drastic and harsh but it’s true. Especially in 2020 fantasy football.

MOOSES ON THE LOOSES vs TuPADRE

Both Mitch and Andy are having great seasons. What a match up. 3-1 against 3-1 and you know neither one of these guys wanted to lose to the other. But this isn’t flag football for a bunch of Mllennials where everyone gets a trophy. Someone has to lose and this week it was Gullahorn. How did the Moose do it yet again? It really wasn’t that impressive. Just a few good numbers from Jacobs, Metcalf and the Rams Defense...otherwise it was pretty normal numbers from his side. Gully just didn’t have a big enough night from Kamara, which he was banking on...so he takes the loss. Congrats Mitch - you ARE pissing excellence.

TRADE WITH ME vs HOWARD

What!!!! Howard with only 65 points this week? Brett Rutledge after a 3 game losing streak - winning?!?!?! How? Well I will tell you how....Howard just sucked really really bad. I can’t remember the last time someone put up so few points. I mean - Gabe did last week but, well, I won’t go into all that. Rob, that was horrible. I know you know that and I know you also lost survivor so you are really wanting to forget this week but it will be forever remembered here on Tumblr. Congrats Brett. Maybe this is the spark you needed to get the Ricky Bobby mentality. Nice win!

BOOMER SOONER vs BACKDOOR BANDITS

Who thought Stu had it in him to put together a 142 point game and take down Kyle Allmendinger (a fantasy football legend). Very impressive Stu and a great win after two consecutive losses. I guess if you keep going and win another next week - we won’t consider this win a joke. Oh, wait never mind you play Brett next week so you better win! Congrats...I see big things on the horizon for you my friend. Kyle, I am at a loss. You move to 1-4. What the hell is going on? What are you doing down there in Little Rock during Covid? Are you working a lot? Building a house? Whatever it is - keep doing it!

LANAKILA vs FUNK GUY

Poor Dana. He just can’t catch a break with this Covid attack on the Titans, players on bye weeks, and as you saw from the group chat this weekend he is very passionate about league rules...tons of stress going on! And now you add a loss to end his 3 game winning streak. It’s not good. We all need to be concerned for him. I have seen it happen where a loss like this happens and then another and another and pretty soon a guy like Dana will be picking up only New York Giants off the waivers. It can go down hill so fast. Nice win Cliff. Big Monday night from Sanders and Brees. Congrats!

TREE HUGGERS vs LONG LEFT BALLERS

This was a fun one to watch. Scott had to put together a really good night on Monday night football to even stay in it...and I would say 15 points from your kicker does qualify as a “good night”. Scott benefited from the Saints going into overtime and those extra points kept him alive going into the rare Tuesday night match up...between the Titans and Bills. Bebo has Devin Singletary left to play and just needs 2.75 points to win. I checked after the Monday night game and the lowest Singletary has had this season was in week 1 against the jets he put up 5.30 points so unless the game is Covid Cancelled - I predict Bebo as the winner. (yes, writing on Monday night...habit). Good try Scott but these Long Left Ballers are getting good!

USUCK vs MR. AWESOME

Yeah, I’ll admit it. This is how I am feeling on Monday night...up by 71.64 points but Gabe still has Tannehill, Henry and Titans D to play on Tuesday night. Do I want good things for my friend Gabe...of course I do. I love the guy. Do I want to be the first one to lose to him this season? HELL NO! I should relax right? 71 points is a pretty big lead...but I keep doing the math and thinking it’s totally possible that this well rested Titans team could go off and every touchdown will be a toss to Henry from Tannehill and I am toast. Also, did I mention I lost Dak Prescott this week. So yeah, I am have a little panic and will amend if I don’t win but at 10:47 on Monday night I am thinking I am going to win. Hopefully.

SURVIVOR

Rob is out. 5 remain. Krippayne, Gabe, Dana, Brett, Gullahorn.

HIGH POINT WINNER

Yes - you guessed it...this week’s high point winner is STU JONES! With 142.90 points. Nice job Stu...$20 for you! So when choosing your Picture Prize I immediately thought pro female golfer...but then I stumbled upon rock climber Sierra Blair Coyle and I knew she was perfect. Blonde, fit, patriotic - all the things I thought you would like. I don’t know much about her except she’s very good at rock climbing and to rock climb you must be in wonderful condition. You can follow her on instagram at @sierrablaircoyl (no e on the instragram handle).

Also - BONUS PICTURE PRIZE...while googling - hottest female athletes - google filled in Inmates instead of athletes..and there are literally images of hot inmates / mug shots....LOL. Here was my favorite.

Good luck in week 6.

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dragon-writes-sometimes · 4 years

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Brave New World, Chapter 2: Meet The New Detectives

Chapter Summary: The detectives, Logan and Roman, have had a long night and are looking forward to visiting Roman's sibling. Remy has a semi heart-to-heart with Talyn, and a mysterious young man enters the picture.

Word Count: 6936

Trigger Warnings: Check tags. I’m lazy, sorry *shrug*

Chapter 1

Previous Chapter - Next Chapter

Chapter 2: Meet The New Detectives

The day had started out pretty standard. Detective Logan Abbott got up at 5.30 am, showered, got dressed, ate breakfast with some coffee on the side. Nothing out of the ordinary. He was out of the door at 7 am. At 7.15 am he was standing in front of his partner, detective Roman Moore’s, entry. He was not up yet, so Logan mentally prepared himself to drag the overgrown child out of bed. They had had a stakeout the night previously, so he would definitely whine a great deal. Logan got out his keys to lock himself in. It was a lot of fuss to get him out of the door with an adequate amount of time to get to work. Like previously stated. Nothing out of the ordinary.

“Why must you hurt me so?” Roman whined. They were in Logan’s car on their way to the precinct. “I didn’t even get to eat breakfast, you monster!” he exclaimed.

“Lucky for you, I predicted that. We are headed for an easy breakfast for you. I already ordered to ensure you wouldn’t pick any junk food,” Logan quickly added when he saw the excited look that grew on Roman’s face. A look that also promptly fell to an exasperated pout.

“You’re no fun, Logan,” he moped as he flopped back into his seat.

They soon turned into the parking lot of a small diner. One they were well equated with, ever since the beginning of their partnership. They had helped out the owner when they had been robbed at the beginning of its lifetime.

“Heya, Lo!” The chipper voice emanated from a head full of bright pastel-blue hair.

“Salutations Talyn,” Logan greeted them back. “How are things fairing?” Logan grimaced slightly at how his attempt at a normal conversation sounded. Talyn, however, didn’t seem to mind.

“Things are awesome, thanks to you and Roman having our backs. Speaking of, I’m guessing you’re here for his breakfast?” At that Logan nodded and smiled gratefully at Talyn who went out the back to get it.

“Joan is not here,” Logan observed. It was rather odd, seeing as they were figuratively joined at the hip. Logan wondered where they could be since they always insisted on staying with Talyn in the morning hours due to the robbery three years prior and didn’t want to risk anything.

“No, they got a tip about…” Talyn glanced up at the security cameras, a worried expression on their face. “… you know.”

“Ah, I see. Roman and I would be more than happy to lend our assistance in that matter. A child should not be alone like that.”

Talyn sighed to themselves, they never told Logan the full truth, since their operation was somewhat illegal. They had just told Logan and Roman that the two of them helped mutant children kicked out of their house by their parents. It didn’t matter that Logan, too, was a mutant, they couldn’t risk it. “We know, but we just can’t risk it. These children have grown up fearing the police, and they already have trouble trusting us as it is.”

Logan sighed. He sincerely wished the world would just accept them already and move on instead of insisting on criminalising mutants.

Logan put a hand to his mouth in an attempt to stifle a yawn. A poor one at that as Talyn elected that moment to return and shot him a worried grin.

“Late night?” they asked, placing down Roman’s breakfast in front of him. They gave him a sympathetic smile at Logan’s slight nod. “May I ask what you two were doing? You wouldn’t have ordered food for Roman if the two of you didn’t have a late-night together,” they added at Logan’s baffled look. “Yeah that’s right, I can do detective work too.”

“Merely a stakeout, but one that took longer than I originally calculated,” he admitted sheepishly, not used to making wrong calculations, especially when it was about his work.

“It only helps to prove that you are a human being. People make mistakes,” they smiled at him. “And speaking of human beings, don’t you think you should be giving this to Roman before he starts getting over-dramatic?”

“When is he not?” Logan chuckled. “And if I am correct, he will be asleep again by now.”

“Have fun with the drama queen Lo,” Talyn said. When Logan picked up the food and started to walk away, Talyn grabbed his attention again. “Oh, wait up! My friend Thomas and his cousin are opening up a café slash bakery today. They weren’t able to get a good location due to their budget, so it’s in a rather bad neighbourhood. I mentioned to Thomas that I knew you and Roman, and might have promised you to would show up sometime during the day,” they said, awkwardly scratching the back of their neck. “I have the address here. You think you could do me this favour?”

Logan looked a bit offended. “I would hardly call it favour; we are friends after all, are we not? And is this not what friends would do for each other?” he scoffed. He then softened his expression up and took the piece of paper offered to him. “Of course we would stop by. This does not have a name on it?” he asked when he looked at it.

“Yeah, I don’t really know what they named it, but knowing the two of them, it will most likely be pun-related,” they said, grinning when they saw Logan’s slightly horrified expression. “Now go! You two don’t wanna have Captain Holt breathing down your neck, do you now?”

Logan’s eyes widened, not having realised how long he had been conversing with Talyn. He hastily picked up the food he had put down to accept the piece of paper with the address on and hurried out the door. Talyn waved him goodbye which he barely returned.

He was by the car less than ten seconds later, and sure enough, Roman was fast asleep again. Logan looked at his watch and rolled his eyes before smirking. Roman’s seatbelt suddenly unbuckled and smacked him in the face.

Roman let out an undignified screech. “WHYYY?!”

“Simply. You were sleeping, which will throw off your inner clock even more than it already is, I have your breakfast, we have to be at the precinct in thirty minutes,” Logan listed off. “And I thought it would be fun,” he added with a smirk.

Roman mock-gasped, placing his hand on his chest in the process. “How DARE you?! Mocking one of the best, most handsome detectives the police have to offer?! I thought I was your partner, but alas, I guess it is true what they say. Your kind really is a menace,” he dramatically sighed.

Logan stiffened at that. “My kind?” he inquired slowly. He had trusted Roman with his secret knowing he wouldn’t judge and shun him as his parents had, but maybe he was wrong after all. He hoped he hadn’t.

“Yes, your kind. You know, brits,” Roman dismissed with a waving hand. Logan let out the small breath he hadn’t realised he’s been holding, tension slowly leaving his body again.

Logan handed him the food and got in the car. He shouldn’t entertain any more distractions. “Eat,” was the only other word that left Logan’s mouth before he turned on the ignition. He missed the sad look Roman sent him.

________________________________________________________________

Talyn sighed. They really hated being alone in the morning since that day, but they had no choice right now. It was either their comfort or helping many mutants find their way home, or find a new one. It wasn’t as if Talyn couldn’t defend themselves, no they were quite adept in fighting, and their powers complimented that. They just weren’t comfortable opening up alone. Their skills and abilities were still nothing against a gun or multiple people. At least with Joan, they stood a chance.

They wiped down the counter, at least there weren’t many people in the morning, only people having to leave home early for work.

They shot a quick text to Joan to see how the rescue was going. They didn’t expect to get a response anytime soon, so instead, they went out the back to check on the equipment and possibly clean some of them if the closing shift forgot. It wasn’t uncommon if they did. They were usually college students, so Talyn didn’t blame them one bit. They were in their place only seven years ago, so the experience was still fresh in their memory.

The tell-tale ding of the bell above the door was heard stating there was a costumer. Talyn moved to the counter again, expecting one of the regulars but instead found a tired-looking Remy Reverie.

“Shouldn’t you be in bed right now, Rem? You look like shit,” they remarked already in the process of making coffee.

“Yeah, well, it's not easy sleeping when Emile is a giant morning person and me being a light sleeper. ‘Sides, I haven’t been getting much sleep either way. You know, with the whole… ‘Reina situation’ ya know,” he sighed, gratefully accepting the coffee.

“She’s gonna be okay, I’m sure. After all, she has your snazzy attitude,” they said, giving Remy a small, sad smile.

Remy huffed out a laugh at that. “That she has. That she has,” he said under his breath. Then his face turned sad. “I just don’t understand why she would take off like that out of nowhere. I mean, she would have called me. Right? I know we haven’t seen each other in years, but we still kept in contact. She wouldn’t just do that. Right?” he said, looking up at Talyn from where he was sitting, scanning their face.

“I don’t know, man. I’m not the shrink here. You are,” they shrugged before their face turned serious again. “Have you talked to Emile about it?”

“I mean, yeah? No, I haven’t,” he conceded when he saw Talyn’s unimpressed look that told him that they didn’t believe him one bit.

“Why not? Em’s your partner, have been since college if I remember correctly. Your welcome, by the way,” Talyn said, trying to lighten his mood. They really hated seeing him down in the dumps like this. The two of them had been friends since high school, quickly connecting due to them having a shared secret. When Remy turned 18, he left his family for more than just one reason. He moved in with Talyn and their family soon after. Their family helped him financially when he had to start at college, where he met Emile, who was studying psychology like him.

“I don’t know. Maybe because that will make this whole situation real and I’ll realise there isn’t anything I can do about it,” he sighed downing his coffee.

“You know, you don’t have to deal with your problems alone — no need to play your own psychologist when you have Emile. And don’t give me that crap about you not wanting to bother him with your issues. That’s one of the reasons both you and Emile became shrinks. Because you actually give a fuck about others and you wanna help them get through whatever hell they might be going through!” they said, fixing Remy with a stern look.

“Easy there, gurl. Your wolf is showing,” Remy quipped when their eyes started flickering between their standard colour and striking gold. Talyn took a deep breath, and their eyes returned to normal. “There we go, don’t want any sleep-deprived gremlins seeing you now, do we?” he smirked.

“Asshole,” they smiled. “And you know I’m nowhere near being canine or did your sleep-deprived ass forget that?” they said, playfully smacking his shoulder.

“No, no, you’re right, if anything you’re a mama bear. Or mama hen. Haven’t decided, they are too close to each other to tell the difference.”

They softened up and placed some scrambled eggs in front of him. “Nice to see your sassiness is returning. Now, as the mama bear-slash-hen here I’m telling you to eat up!” They placed their hands on their hips, fixing him with a mock stern stare making Remy chuckle lightly.

At the same time, Talyn’s phone went off, alerting to a new text message.

“Go on, you can check it hon, I won't mind,” Remy gently said when Talyn didn’t do so right away. After another moment or so and another visional sweep of the diner, they looked at their phone, face lighting up remarkable at who it was.

Joanglebook: Hey Tal. I’m a bit exhausted, but things went well. There were way more people than our intel said, but everyone is one their way home safely. Many kids. Taking them to X. Light’s going back to the states, brought a kid with ‘er. I miss you. Sorry, you had to open without me. I’ll be back as soon as I can.

“Good news?” Remy quirked an eyebrow after a few minutes of Talyn being quiet and just beaming.

“Very,” they said after another moment's silence. “Just gonna reply real quick. Be right back.” They then went out back to reply. Remy had an idea of what it was they were doing, but they didn’t wanna risk their operation being compromised. They had installed a receptor for their own small satellite so they wouldn’t be able to be spied on by the government.

Tallykat: That’s amazing Joan! Must’ve taken more people after they got it. Say hi to X and the others from me. And take the time you need to get everyone safe. There’s no rush. Logan says hi by the way.

Talyn hesitated before sending another message.

Tallykat: Any sign of Reina? Remy’s here and is really out of it. Works his ass off at the bar till early morning and barely gets any sleep anymore. I’m worried.

They sighed and put away the phone before going back out. Remy was still sitting at the counter, sunglasses back in their usual spot, and playing with the scrambled eggs with his fork. “Joan says hi,” they said, trying to get Remy’s attention off of Reina.

He looked up at Talyn, sending them a small smirk. It still wasn’t the usual quality Remy SmirkTM, but it was close enough. “Sure about that? You’re not just sugarcoating the usual ‘wut up, fuckhead’?”

Talyn mock-gasped, looking offended. “I was trying to be nice! But if you want it that way, they didn’t even mention you,” they snarked back at him with a cheeky smile resulting in them getting a gentle shove to the shoulder.

Before Remy could reply, Talyn got another text holding up their finger to shush him.

Joanglebook: I’m guessing Roman’s asleep since it’s only Logan saying hi. And no. Reina wasn’t there. I’m worried too. She could have a variation of his powers, and any variety of his powers is very powerful, making her valuable to any buyer or army. Stay safe yourself. And say wut up, fuckhead to Remy from me. Thx.

Talyn chuckled. “Joan again. They send their ‘wut up, fuckhead’,” they grinned, looking back at their phone. At the same time, the bell jingled again, and a young person with purple hair entered, sitting down at a table in the corner.

Talyn tried to make eye contact with them to show that they had noticed them and would be coming over shortly, but the young person’s focus was solely on their phone. Huh.

Remy noticed the change in atmosphere and looked over his shoulder to get a look at the newcomer. They wore all-black clothing, ripped skinny jeans, hoodie with the hood up, and combat boots. They had purple ends on their short black hair and feminine facial features, though that didn’t tell Remy anything about their gender or preferred pronouns. He sighed. He really shouldn’t be starting psychoanalysing a complete stranger he wasn’t going to see again anyway.

Talyn put their phone away, grabbed a menu and went to give it to the newcomer.

They returned shortly after with worry etched in their eyes. There was something about him (the stranger told Talyn his preferred pronouns after Talyn hold him theirs), something Talyn couldn’t place. Hopefully, he would come more often so they could get to know him, find out what it was that made Talyn worry for the young man. ‘Troubles for another day Tal, you got too much on your own plate right now, ha, plate. Pun intended,’ they thought, breathing a silent laugh at their own joke.

Of course Remy, ever observant, noticed the worry straight(ha) away even though Talyn did an excellent job concealing it. He didn’t voice his concerns, though, carefully observing Talyn instead.

“What?” Talyn exclaimed, making the young man in the corner look up from his phone. Remy just quirked an eyebrow at them. They narrowed their eyes at him in retaliation. “You just went all shrinky on me, didn’t ya?”

Remy huffed out a laugh at their remark while shaking his head. “Nah, I never get anything from you anyway, so I’ve stopped trying altogether babes,” he smiled at the shorter person standing behind the counter. Tiny but lethal. Remy learned that the hard way. He shook his head, almost unnoticeably to get rid of those thoughts and memories.

Talyn glanced back at the young man. He had put his menu away, so he was probably ready to order. “I’ll be right back Rem,” they said, walking towards the young man. “Soo, made up your mind?”

He looked up at them, giving a small, almost not there, smile and nodded slowly. “I’ll just have some mint tea, please,” he said, voice gruff like he hadn’t used it in a while. Or been up all night, one of those. Talyn wouldn’t even be surprised if it was both. He looked like a college student with the bags under his eyes, something Talyn was used to see in the college students working at the diner.

“One mint tea, coming up. You sure I couldn’t get you anything to eat?” they asked, looking him over again. He was rather thin, unhealthily so, and was quite pale. A healthy, nutritious breakfast would do him wonders.

He shook his head slightly. “No thanks, just tea.”

“Alrighty, I’ll be right back.” Talyn smiled at him and went behind the counter again.

“So, he a coffee addict?” Remy quipped at Talyn when they returned. “He looks like one, with the bags under his eyes and the fact that he’s here this early.” Remy sounded worried when he spoke. And if there was a tad of sadness there as well? Well, Talyn didn’t plan on pointing it out.

“No, he ain’t like you, Rem. You think every early bird are like you, don’t you?” They fondly shook their head at him. “And you and I both know there are more factors involved with bags under your eyes than just insomnia.” This time a wink followed.

Remy blushed deeply and awkwardly coughed. “Yes, well, uhm, I, you know, I’m usually right about, ahem, being sleep - I mean a coffee addict!” Remy tried - and failed - to backtrack. He just early himself a laugh from Talyn.

They knew exactly what they were doing. They loved insinuating things and making Remy a flustered mess. Not many were able to out-flirt Remy, but Talyn was one of the select few who could. Talyn finished laughing and decided to show Remy some mercy. He had to go to work soon, after all.

“So,” Talyn started, finding the teabags while the water was boiling. “How’re things with Emile?” they asked, finally changing the subject, ending Remy’s suffering.

Remy thought for a moment, smiling to himself. “Things are pretty great. We talked about adoption since the last time we spoke. It’s what they’ve always wanted. That, and helping people through the use of therapy of course,” he chuckled before sighing. “Don’t think I’m ready, though. To raise a child, I mean. It’s a big responsibility, and you don’t get a second chance with that kid.”

Talyn gave him a sympathetic smile before turning around again to find some sugar and milk. “I’m sure you’ll do great. You have Emile at your side, remember? You’re not alone. Plus, Joan and I’ll be right by your side.”

“I know,” Remy smiled. He refilled his coffee before taking a significant drag from it. He sighed when he put it down. “I just don’t know. How is it possible for me to be a good parent when I was such a horrible brother? I left her with… with them, and she was only six. You don’t think she’s been taken by them, do you?” He looked up with horror in his eyes at them at his last question.

“No, I don’t think so. She’d put up too much of a fight to be worth their troubles. And you stop that train of thought right this instant, Remigius Reverie! You are an amazing brother! If you’d stayed, they would’ve taken it out on her too, and you know that. And I know for a fact that if you could’ve taken her with you, you would have. Or even better, getting custody of her. And because of that, I KNOW you’ll be an amazing parent!” they scolded him. Self-deprecation is terrible for your mental health, you know.

Their outburst took Remy by surprise and earned them a glance from the young man. Talyn looked over to him with an apologetic look before returning to the process of making his tea. The water had just finished boiling, so they poured some into the cup they had found before dropping the teabag in. They put it on a tray along with some sugar and milk and went over to him.

“Here ya go, teabag has just been dropped in, and there’s sugar and milk if you want to add that. Sorry for the, uhm, outburst. Remy, over there, is an old friend and has the bad habit of being self-deprecating when he’s reminiscing and hasn’t gotten a lot of sleep,” they said apologetically.

“Don’t worry ‘bout it. Nothing I’m not used to,” the young man said, widening his eyes infinitesimally when he realised what he had just said. Talyn just looked at him quizzically, but before they could ask anything, he looked back at his phone, a clear sign he didn’t want to continue the conversation. He glanced up again when Talyn picked up the tray again and started walking away. “Thanks for the tea,” he smiled at them.

“You’re welcome, kid.” They answered his smile with their own before returning to scold Remy some more.

“Before you can continue your scolding I’m gonna ask you this: where is Joan exactly? You hate being alone in the morning,” Remy hurried to ask Talyn when they returned to the counter.

They glanced back at the young man, but he seemed to be engrossed in his phone again, occasionally sipping at his tea. “Greece. But they’re on their way back. Have to make a few stops though.”

“Greece?!” Remy asked them incredulously. “But I just saw them two days ago!”

“Yeah,” Talyn said, scratching the back of their neck. “It was on very short notice, but nothing we’re not used to around here,” they said sheepishly.

Remy nodded. “Yeah, I know that. Both Emile and I and do, actually. Sometimes trauma victims-slash-survivors need someone to talk to right away, so we obviously make sure they get to the office safely, and we’ll be there as soon as we can. It’s usually mutants that need that opportunity though.” The last part was mumbled, but Talyn knew what he was talking about.

“Hello, can I get the old sassy Remy back now, please? All this solemn seriousness doesn’t really suit your personality,” Talyn said lightly, trying to get his spirits up again.

“Sorry babes forgot where I was there for a minute,” Remy snarked back at them, though it lacked the usual teasing bite. He finished his coffee and breakfast and put some money on the counter. “Well, I should probably head to the office to start on the paperwork or whatever. Later gurl.” He waved Talyn goodbye before walking out again.

“Later.” Talyn took the money, put some in the moneybox and the rest in the tip jar; Remy always left a good tip.

Soon after the young man in the corner got up and went to the counter to pay for his tea.

“You still sure you’re not hungry? I can quickly whip up something for you to go, it’s no problem, really,” Talyn tried again. They could recognise malnourishment when they saw it, and this kid was definitely malnourished. They would give it to him for free if he didn’t have the money.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Really. No need to worry,” he said, giving a tentative smile. “And keep the change.” He gave them a two-finger-salute before walking out again.

‘Odd young man,’ they thought. ‘Probably just don’t want to trouble me more than necessary since it’s so early.’

They went back to collect the teacup, milk and sugar, wipe down the table and the counter and returned to conversing with Joan over the phone in the back.

Little did they know the mysterious young man had listened carefully to their conversation and recorded the entire thing on a hidden camera.

________________________________________________________________

In the meantime, Logan and Roman had driven in comfortable silence, only broken by Roman chewing, and was almost at the precinct.

It was almost 8 am at the time they drove into the precinct’s parking lot.

“Tell me again Specs, why we have to be here this early?” Roman complained. He was NOT in a good mood after only four hours of sleep. Roman hated stakeouts. They meant that he wouldn’t be able to get his Beauty Sleep the following week.

“Because,” Logan sighed, sounding a bit annoyed. “we have to talk to Captain Holt about your brother’s reward request. His tip paid off better than expected. I also wasn’t able to finish all the paperwork for processing the suspects.” Logan glanced at Roman, getting an unimpressed look. “We also have to prepare for when the new detectives arrive later in the day.”

“Ah, so it was your idea to meet at the precinct this early? That’s a surprise,” Roman said flatly.

Logan sighed. “Look, I know you want to just stay in and sleep, but this needs to be done. Captain Holt agreed to let us have the day off tomorrow since we’ve been working overtime for days now.”

Roman gasped. “Holt is willingly giving us a day off?! Without hours of begging and annoying him?!” Roman was ecstatic, to say the least. Logan rolled his eyes and sat down. They had reached their desks.

“That is because he knows I get the job done and never ask for anything like this unless it’s warranted. Now, we need to finish the paperwork before we can discuss your brother’s reward.” Roman got a sad look on his face at the mention of his brother. Even though they were so different from each other, Roman still loved him more than anything. The thought of his powers driving him insane hurt Roman to his core.

“Yeah. How long do you think the paperwork will take? I’d like to notify Emile myself of when we’re coming.” Roman sent a pleading look Logan’s way. And Logan caved. He had a soft spot for his partner, so if this had been anyone else, he would’ve said no and done it himself, like he originally planned. But this was Roman. Logan’s young partner who was spontaneous but determined and an excellent detective.

“We are not missing a lot. If we work at our optimal, in your case listening to lyricless music, we should be done within the hour. Then we need to discuss his reward with Captain Holt, which I estimate will take approximately twenty minutes, and transportation will be another twenty minutes... Meaning we should be there in about an hour and a half,” Logan sighed at Roman’s lost expression. “That leaves us just enough time to prepare for the new detectives as well.”

“Well, why didn’t you just say that? Come on, let’s get working! Well, you get working, I’m gonna call Emile real quick.” And out the back Roman went at the speed of light. Well, one would think that; he was just really excited and in great shape.

Logan shook his head, fondly. Roman only really had time to visit his brother when they were working cases where they got his help. Logan clocked them in for the day and began the paperwork and processing of witness statements and the criminals.

After about ten minutes, Romans plopped down in his chair opposite to Logan’s. Roman gave a content sigh. “You got to talk to him, I take it?” Logan inquired.

“Yeah, she is looking forward to our visit.” Roman was acting more subdued than usual, after talking to his sister, Logan noticed.

“She. Oh. Depressive episode?” Roman nodded. You could always tell what pronouns to use with Roman’s sister according to her mood. Though, she rarely had a depressive episode anymore. Still, Roman always enjoyed talking and spending time with her, no matter what.

“Let’s just get this done so we can get moving,” Roman evaded and dove into the paperwork. Logan frowned but refrained from commenting. Roman usually thought it too boing and complained a bit before he really got into it. They both worked in appreciative silence for the next forty minutes.

Logan sighed. “That’s the last of it from my part. How is it looking with you?”

“Almost done, Lo,” Roman said as he flipped a page in his small pile of papers and continued writing on the computer. “You go ahead into Holt’s office, I’ll be there in a minute or five.” Logan nodded and cleaned his desk (even though he didn’t need to; it was always neat and clean) before heading to Captain Holt’s office door and knocking.

“Detective Abbott, come in,” Cpt. Holt called. And he did. “Why isn’t Dec. Moore with you?” he asked, looking behind Logan.

“He wasn’t quite finished with his paperwork and told me to go ahead. He does not wish to prolong getting to see his sister again.” Holt looked at Logan sympathetically before nodding.

“I see. Well, what has she asked for in return for her help this time?” Holt inquired.

“As always, to go home. She knows as well as us that she is unable to, so she continued with saying it is because she’d love to visit the park she and Roman used to play in when they were younger, again. Is that one a possibility?” It wasn’t one of the bigger requests she’d come with, so Logan hoped it was something they could grant her.

“We need to set up a perimeter, make sure no one enters the park as well as have eyes on her all the time, but other than that, I think it’s doable. We’ve organised bigger operations than this,” Holt agreed.

Just in that second, Roman walked in, as Logan hadn’t closed the door. “Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s go!” Roman exclaimed, although, it was much more subdued than usual.

“Not so fast, Dec. Moore,” Holt interrupted. “We cannot do that today. The new detectives are arriving in less than two hours, and I want to give them a good first impression. I’ve only heard impressive things about them from my old friend, Cpt. Garcia.”

“I don’t think she’ll want to go outside for a while anyway, so that’s okay, Captain.” Roman turned from the door. “I’d just like to tell her in person, if that’s alright, Sir?” Oh, Roman was looking at their Captain with such a pitiful look in his eyes that even Holt’s sturdy and tough façade crumbled.

Holt sighed. “Of course, Dec. Moore. Just be back thirty minutes before. Not twenty-nine. Thirty. Do greet her from me.”

“Thank you so much, Sir!” Roman exclaimed and basically ran out the door to the parking lot. Logan sighed at his partner’s antics. He looked back at Cpt. Holt, who only nodded to him.

“I’ll make sure we’re back forty-five minutes before, Sir,” he said before he, as well, disappeared out the door to his car.

Due to Roman being filled with energy at getting to see his sister again, Logan drove just a bit faster than strictly necessary which in turn made them be there in six minutes instead of the usual ten. As soon as Logan had parked the car Roman was out. Logan couldn’t really blame him. It had been months since they last saw each other. Visits of any kind weren’t allowed unless it was for a case, which Logan found revolting. Just because she was… that still didn’t make it fair! In fact, it made it less fair than if she had just been a mentally ill supercriminal, like Ami Amore (except she wasn’t mentally ill, she was just a supercriminal mastermind)! And even those were allowed to get visitors!

The dumpster near him started to shake a bit. Logan took a few calming breaths. Now’s not the time to let my emotions take control, he thought to himself. Roman needed him.

Logan walked calmly (though that was only his exterior) into the facility. He found Roman by the reception, waiting for him. “What took you so long, Logan??” Roman asked while dramatically bringing the back of his hand to his forehead.

“Dec. Abbott. Nice to see you two again. Solved the case, did ya?” the receptionist, the young Mx Thomsen, said. They gave Logan and Roman their visitor’s pass so they could move around in the facility without any problems.

“We did, yes. We’re here to inform Remus that her request has been granted. Though, we’ll not be able to acquiesce today, as two new detectives will be joining the precinct today and we have to prepare for them. And it is nice to see you too, Mx Thomsen,” Logan added after a look from Roman.

They giggled. They always did when Logan was being guided by Roman in social behaviour. “Right this way, guys. She’s in the garden right now. Dr Picani discovered that’s the most effective way to bring her out of the depression. They’ve still yet to discover a way to bring her down from her mania. But stuff like this takes time. I really wish you guys were allowed to visit her outside of work. She misses you especially, Roman.” Mx Thomsen kept talking all the way to the garden. Logan was really glad they did. Something to keep Roman busy. Those two really got along well with each other.

“Well, if it isn’t my favourite twin brother,” a tired feminine voice said. “Have you come to free me?”

“Not today, sister dear. I’m afraid we have to prepare for some new troops coming today. And you don’t really seem up to it, either. But, once you feel better, and the new detectives have settled, we’ll make sure we get to visit the park. Okay?” Roman was the one addressed, so he was the one speak. They learned the hard way not to talk to her unless you were addressed (or if you were Dr Picani) when she had a depressive episode.

“Puh-he. Well, at least I can still be in these gardens. Hey, wanna hear a secret, Ro?” Remus said, leaning a bit closer to him.

“Always!” Roman said, leaning closer as well so Remus could whisper in his ear. It made him nostalgic for when they were kids and would share secrets with each other all the time.

“They are very bad at keeping the garden, so it’s chaos. Just like I like it!” Remus stage-whispered. She giggled at her own words, though it lacked the usual enthusiasm. Roman chuckled with her.

“Yes, I can see that. They are a bit lazy here, aren't they?” Roman winked. Remus was always his centre of attention when they were visiting her. Logan went to speak with the doctors, leaving the two siblings to enjoy each others company. They had approximately twenty minutes before they had to leave again.

“Dr Picani. Pleasure as always,” he greeted the person in front of him. They lit up when they saw who was speaking to them. They’d been looking in some files and hadn’t discovered the detectives had arrived.

“Dec. Abbott! Pleasure’s all mine! So, are you here to sign the papers of letting Remus visit the park?” they asked

“Sadly, no. Not yet, anyway. Two new detectives are arriving today and, we have to get them settled in the routine. But once they are, and Remus feels better, we will take her there. And thank you,” Logan added after a moment of hesitation. Picani tilted their head.

“Thank me? Whatever for? Taking care of and helping Remus is my job and my pleasure.” To say they were confused by Logan’s gratitude was an understatement. Logan, however, shook his head.

“Though I am also grateful for that, I meant about what you and Remy do on the side. You make a huge difference for a lot of people; old as young. You helped me,” Logan said, looking Picani sincerely in the eye. He usually never was one to admit he needed help or that he had help, but he wouldn’t deny that fact to someone who helped him in the past.

“Aw shucks, Logan. I don’t know what to say,” they blushed a tiny bit, because they knew how hard of a subject it was to Logan to discuss and he had a hard time admitting when he admired people. Like he admired what the two therapists were doing. They suddenly thought of something. “Did you tell them yet? Your colleagues?”

Logan sighed. “Other than Roman, no. Not even Cpt. Holt. I would rather they didn’t know just yet. I know Florida is accepting, but they took a while to pass that law. Other states passed it many years ago, yet we’ve only taken the initiative to pass it two years ago. I still fear the public would want me burned in the media fire if they knew.”

Picani smiled at him sympathetically. “I know. But they are your coworkers; your friends. They’ll understand it if you don’t want anyone other than them to know. But the decision is yours, and I respect it. And I understand it.”

They continued to talk about Remus and her improvements over the past year when they were interrupted by Roman’s startled exclamation. “Remus, what are you doing?!” They looked over and saw that Remus had a tight hold of Roman’s wrist. The bruising kind of grip. They ran over, but Logan arrived first. And was shocked.

Remus’ eyes were black. There were no traces of her otherwise green eyes or white. They were all black. And then Remus spoke. Her voice was unrecognisable.

The Moon shines bright, but if you do nothing, it will go dark!

A prediction. They’d never seen it up close, but both Logan and Roman were sure it was a prediction that involved them, however absurd it was fraised.

Then she let go of Roman’s arm, and her eyes went back to normal. “Whoo, what a rush, huh?”

Roman just stared at his sister, trying to make sense of what had just happened. He hadn’t really processed the words. Luckily, Logan was fast to grab a notebook and a pencil and write it down.

“I think it’s time you get some rest, Remus, don’t you?” Dr Picani stepped in, voice kind and approached her was a non-threatening stance. She was always volatile after a prediction, and who knew what a prediction during a depressive episode would do to her.

“Yeah, I think so too, Doc. Nice seeing ya, Roman. And heed the words,” she sing-sang before she skidded off after Dc Picani.

Logan and Roman drove back to the precinct in silence, both trying to understand what that absurd prediction could mean.

Then entered the precinct and found it a complete mess. Holt was in his office, looking like he’d been trying, and failing, to get the detectives under control for a long time. Not even Logan’s death stare seemed to work right now. And that’s how they spent the next forty minutes trying to get the detectives under control.

The front doors to the precinct opened, but no one seemed to notice. Logan was sitting at his desk, looking done with everything while Roman chased Dec. Peralta around the precinct. It was chaos. Some might confuse the precinct with a kindergarten run by a single adult.

Things were starting to calm a tiny bit down as the cold air from outside began to be noticed. Logan looked up from his desk and looked at the two newcomers. They didn’t seem to be particularly impressed. Logan couldn’t really blame him. He wondered who they were and what their business at the precinct was since they didn’t immediately go for one of the free detectives, Logan.

Suddenly, Holt exited his office and called out to the entire precinct, “EVERYONE!!” and got most of the precinct’s attention. Some froze when they spotted the two standing looking at them with an unreadable expression in their eyes. Logan was starting to get a sinking feeling about who they were and wished he could just sink into the floor and out of this childish picture. “Meet the new detectives!”

2 notes · View notes

pug-bitch · 5 years

Text

That’s not why I’m going (10)

Especially when it comes to your heart

Book: The Royal Romance

Pairing: Drake Walker x Amara Suarez

Rating: some foul language, some extremely suggestive, some steamy flashbacks. This is NOT appropriate for people under 18.

Word count: 3,850 (let me know if the ‘keep reading’ cutoff isn’t working well!)

Notes: This relates the aftermath of Drake and Amara’s (Dramara? I’m taking a page out of @drakeandcamilleofvaltoria ‘s book for couples’ names :)) first time having sex. It starts with Drake’s POV, the next morning.

Also, I’ve been writing like a crazy person this weekend but, full disclosure, I’m about to have a pretty insane work week, so it might be a few days until I post Part 11. That being said, I have a very precise plan for it, so stay tuned! The next episode is also when shit gets real, so...there’s that :D

*****

‘Earth to Drake?’

He shakes it off, and realizes Liam is offering him another croissant. ‘Oh, yeah, thanks.’

Liam was right. Drake hadn’t touched Earth ever since last night. He couldn’t stop thinking about the amazing night he’d had with Amara, and flashbacks were populating his mind, preventing him from being a functional member of this group breakfast. He thought of the closeness they’d shared the night before, when they made love and fell asleep in each other’s arms, spent and satisfied. He thought of Amara’s alarm waking them up at 5.30, and how they’d made love again, lazily, all the while waking up together. He thought of the taste of her kiss, the touch of her hands, the feel of her body against his. He thought of her, persuading him to take a shower together, to prolong their togetherness. He thought of how they had made love again in the shower, Amara bent over against the wall, and Drake sliding inside her, again and again--

‘Walker, wake up. People are trying to talk to you.’

Olivia’s curt wake up call had shaken him back on track. He passes the jam to Hana, as she had been waiting for it for a good two minutes, while Drake was replaying his and Amara’s double morning sex in his mind. He blushes, acutely aware of the inappropriateness of the situation, but as soon as he makes eye contact with Amara, he realizes she is probably feeling the same way, as the embarrassed but cheeky look on her face betrays.

They all share breakfast, coffee, and stories in the grand salon, by the fireplace. This place is nice, he thinks. Luxurious, yes, but rustic. Everyone is in good spirits, except maybe Maxwell, who seems less enthusiastic than usual. Drake feels grateful for him today though, since his text telling Amara that he’d meet her directly downstairs this morning allowed them to have extra time together.

‘So,’ Olivia announces, ‘today I would like to take everyone on a tour of the grounds, and then I would be happy to invite Prince Liam to a private lunch with me, before we all reconvene to ski a bit more in the afternoon. Tonight, I have a special wine tasting and dinner planned for all of us. While Liam and I are at lunch, my staff will be at your complete disposal should you need anything.’

Everyone thanks her and agrees to the plans, except Liam, who interrupts: ‘Thank you, Lady Olivia, I gladly accept your lunch invitation. However, as far as the tour goes, I’m going to need a raincheck. I need to speak to Drake, maybe the two of us will go for a walk. But please, everyone enjoy the tour and I will see everybody on the slopes.’

Uh oh, Drake thinks. What is that all about? Maybe Liam just needs a breather, but somehow, he has trouble believing that things would be exactly like they used to be.

On their way out, Drake wonders if Liam can tell that he just spent the night with Amara. Does he smell like her? No, he showered. But, he showered with her, so… But how would Liam know Amara’s smell? After all, given his obsession with her, he had probably sent someone to steal one of her shirts to smell as he falls asleep at night.

Alright, he needs to play it cool. He already had growing feelings for Amara the last time he had a heart to heart with Liam, and it went ok. Well, he had called Liam out on his entitlement, but he had kept everything else together. But now, the stakes had skyrocketed since last night.

He realizes he was stuck in his head again, and Liam waves in his face for him to start listening.

‘Drake, is everything ok? I just wanted to make sure you and I were good. You’ve been acting weird.’

Oh, so that was that. ‘I’m fine, Li. I promise.’

‘Good. I’ve been doing some thinking. You were right about me being pushy towards Amara. She did seem distant last time, on our one-on-one, and I guarantee you that it’s because, well...you were right. I summoned her, and that was wrong of me. So, I’m gonna try and play it cool.’

‘Good. I’m glad to hear this.’

‘I mean, I said I’ll try. I’m crazy about her, Drake. She’s...something else, you know?’

Oh, he knew. ‘Yeah. She’s pretty cool.’ Understatement of the year. He tries not to think of her arched back, as she was riding him slowly, this morning.

Liam pauses for a long time, and seems to be looking for the right words. ‘I heard that you two are getting to know each other.’

Drake’s heart threatens to jump out of his chest. Holy shit. ‘Um,’ he hesitates, ‘what do you mean?’

‘Oh, just that Bastien saw you two at a bar a few days ago. I’m glad she is surrounded with people who are making her feel welcome.’

Drake gulps. This is not the moment to fuck up. ‘Yeah, she was bummed out when I bumped into her that day, she missed New York and her family. She asked if I knew of any bars, so I took her to one.’ He’d made this sound as natural as possible.

‘I’m glad. She is not used to this setting, and you are probably the one person who can understand this the most. I’m glad you guys are friends. You’d say you’re friends, right?’

This felt like a trap. ‘Yeah. She’s nice and really funny. I could see us becoming friends.’ Friends who go down on each other, maybe.

Liam smiles. ‘That’s great. Just one thing, Drake.’

Uh oh. ‘Yeah?’

‘Next time you sneak her out, don’t keep it a secret. I’d rather hear it from you than from my bodyguard.’

Drake wanted to open his mouth and say a whole bunch of things. Like, what the hell, Liam. She doesn’t belong to you. She’s a grownup and she doesn’t need anyone tracking her movements. Or maybe, fuck you Liam, I’m falling in love with her and we’re gonna run away together. But he knew that House Beaumont was on the line, and that Amara felt guilty enough about deceiving Maxwell in particular. This was not the moment to blow up. If he stayed quiet for a little bit longer, they could find a way to be together, maybe. So, he kept his mouth shut, and once again, nodded at what his childhood friend wanted him to do.

*****

‘How do you like Lythikos, Suarez?’

Olivia and Amara had stuck around after the tour, sipping on another coffee on the patio, wrapped up in their winter coats and hats.

‘It’s gorgeous, Olivia, really.’

Olivia gives her a knowing smirk. ‘Did you guys bone?’

Amara nearly chokes on her coffee. ‘Excuse me?’

‘Oh please, cut the crap. I’m the one who arranged for the isolated rooms. I deserve some details.’

Amara couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She looks around, making sure no one can hear, and whispers, ‘It was fucking amazing.’

Olivia smirks some more, and says ‘Glad to hear that. How many times?’

‘Oh, come on. You can’t be serious.’

‘Do you want me to take your lock away?’

‘Three.’

Olivia nods in sign of respect. ‘Good. Enjoy the privacy tonight, too. I suppose Drake told you about my reasons? I don’t want you to believe I’m just doing this out of the goodness of my heart.’ She uses air quotes around the words ‘goodness’ and ‘heart’, which Amara finds very much on brand.

‘Yeah, he did. So, you want Liam that bad, huh?’

Olivia remains silent, looking at a distant point in the sky.

‘Olivia? Do you have feelings for him?’

She snorts. ‘As if I’m going to tell you that.’

‘Come on. If you tell me, I’ll give you one more detail about last night.’

‘Oh please, I’m not that desperate. Plus, I don’t want any graphic details about Walker’s dick, thank you very much.’

Amara laughs, and is immediately transported in her daydreams again. Oh, she’s got graphic details for days.

Olivia gives in and continues: ‘Liam has always been there for me. I’ve always envisioned myself with him, that’s all. When my mind is set on something, I don’t let it get away from me. I don’t give up.’

Amara doesn’t know what to say. She understands what Olivia is saying, of course. Plus, she’d heard from Maxwell about her tragic childhood, with her parents dying when she was five. Of course she would value her relationships with the people who’d supported her. But it broke her heart to think that Liam was visibly taking Olivia for granted, when she was a complete badass and a stunning woman. ‘I get it. But, forgive me for saying this, have you thought of, you know, meeting other people, and seeing what your options are? Anyone would be lucky to have you, Olivia, so I don’t think you should limit yourself to waiting for one man.’

Olivia looks straight in her eyes, and Amara feels like an icicle is burning through her skull. Shit, she should have kept her mouth shut. ‘What do you think I am, a pathetic virgin waiting for her prince? I fuck my bodyguard every day,’ she says while gesturing to the hunk of a man who’s sitting in the next room, at a safe distance.

‘Oh. Um, good, he’s, um, very hot. But that’s not what I meant. You make yourself available for Liam, when he’s holding a competition for his hand. Men should be lining up for your hand, Liv.’

Olivia pauses, seemingly taking in what she’s hearing. ‘Touché. You’re right, they should.’

They drink their coffee in silence, until Olivia breaks the ice and asks: ‘Why do you dislike Liam so much?’

Amara, slightly taken aback, replies: ‘Oh. I don’t dislike him. I actually really liked him when we first met, I thought he was genuine, nice, and funny. I was not attracted to him, but--’

‘So, why are you here?’

Oh, the million dollar question. ‘Olivia, I--’

‘No, that’s ok, don’t answer. As I told you before, I know it’s complicated, I can tell.’

Amara takes a deep breath. ‘I liked him in a genuine, friendly way, and the night I met all of the guys, I felt really good, really alive for the first time in...two years. Max inviting me to Cordonia was the push I needed to leave my shitty life behind. I can’t even call it my old life, because the life I was living in NYC for the past two years wasn’t even my life, it was a fabricated, shell of a life I had imposed on myself. Meeting the guys shook me out of it a little. Showed me I was still fun, still spontaneous. Showed me I could turn my life around if I wanted.’

She realizes she had said all that in one single breath. She finally exhales.

Olivia gives her an honest smile, and Amara wonders if she’d ever seen her really smile before. ‘I get it, Amara. Now, the circumstances are different.’

‘Exactly. In New York, Liam was a nice, potential friend I had just met. He was fun, friendly, and pleasant to be around. But here, I don’t know. He’s very pushy with me, tricks me into meeting him in the gardens, and I feel very guilty every time I push him away. I also think he acts in a very shitty way with you and with Drake, taking both of you for granted. So, yeah, maybe I’m growing to dislike him, in his natural habitat.’

Olivia chuckles. ‘He’s not always like that, you know.’

‘Oh, I can imagine. I trust your judgment, and Drake’s. If you both see something in him, I don’t doubt that he’s a good guy. I’m sure he’s under a lot of pressure right now. I’m also aware that I’m not being honest with him, and if I could tell him the truth, maybe we could be actual friends and bond in an honest manner.’

Olivia nods and ponders. ‘That’s fair.’ She looks at her watch. ‘Oh, I have to meet him soon, I need to go reapply some lipstick, if you’ll excuse me.’

‘Of course. Thanks for the chat.’

‘Anytime.’ Olivia pauses, walks away, and turns back around. She grabs her cup of coffee, and puts her hand on Amara’s arm. ‘I enjoyed our talk, Detective.’

*****

Amara was still shaking. How much did Olivia know? Had she just googled her quickly and found her NYU Alumni page, or had she been digging deeper? Knowing Olivia, it was probably the latter. Amara wasn’t ready for everything to come out; she had considered talking to Drake about it, especially since he had seen her cry and knew more or less about Michael, but talking to other people, no, that was not an option.

She was walking aimlessly through the hallway when she saw Maxwell heading to the dining room.

‘Hey Maxwell!’ she says, trying to forget about the end of her conversation with Olivia.

‘Hi, Amara’, he said flatly with a weak smile.

Huh, she thinks. This doesn’t look like Maxwell at all. ‘Are you ok, Max?’

He opens his mouth, but then closes it.

‘Max, you’re scaring me. Are you feeling ok? Did you have another fight with Bertrand?’

He looks around, seems to ponder a response, and asks ‘Is it just a fling?’

Boom. Second hit of the day. And to think she had been actually excited to get up this morning, after the amazing night she’d had. She didn’t feel like playing coy with Maxwell, who had been such a strong support, on all fronts. ‘No. How about we get some food and go talk in my room?’

Maxwell nods, and they head to the kitchen.

Once safely in Amara’s room, they plop down on the bed and on the loveseat respectively, and as Maxwell pecks timidly at his food, Amara goes for it. ‘How do you know?’

He sighs. ‘I came to talk to Drake last night and um...I heard you guys.’

Amara’s eyes fill with tears. She feels bad for her friend, who had trusted her. ‘I’m so sorry you had to find out like that, Maxwell. Truly.’

‘How long has it been going on?’

‘Um...I’m not sure, but about a week, I’d say.’

He nods, and offers a faint smile. ‘Do you like him?’

Amara’s face instantly lights up. ‘Yes. I really, really do.’

‘So, I suppose the competition is over for you?’

‘Maxwell, that’s not what I said. I don’t want to let you down--’

‘I’m gonna stop you right there.’ He comes to sit right by her on the bed and takes her hand. ‘You have zero obligation towards me, especially when it comes to your heart. I have no intention of pimping you out to Liam against your will, Amara. It actually hurts that you’ve been thinking that I would.’

‘I didn’t think that exactly, but I have to admit, what prevented me from being honest is that, well, you and Bertrand especially have been telling me that I’m House Beaumont’s last chance, so--’

Max interrupts, his head in his hands. ‘Oh my God, I had no idea we were getting into your head like that. Of course you have no obligation, Amara. If you want to withdraw, you can, and we’ll find a solution for House Beaumont.’

‘Actually, I think withdrawing would be a mistake. Hear me out.’

Amara explains everything to Maxwell: how she doesn’t want to ruin Liam and Drake’s friendship, and how she believes that everyone will benefit from Liam choosing someone else. If she just keeps a low profile, maybe Olivia, or even Madeleine, can be Queen, but House Beaumont’s sponsored suitor remains respectable and she can help Maxwell and Bertrand raise funds when the competition is over. She lays out her plan, explaining to him that Drake has a business degree and could take a look at their finances even, but Maxwell refuses point blank.

‘Ok to a low profile. I’ll stop pushing one-on-one dates with Liam. If he chooses you, you turn him down. That way, maybe we can play on a loophole, and the Crown can still sponsor the House. If he chooses someone else, then you’re free.’

‘Deal. And I promise I’ll help you guys out. What matters now is that we keep playing along. Now that I’ve gotten to know Olivia better, I can even help her have alone time with Liam, kind of like sabotaging myself by allowing her to tag along. What do you say?’

Maxwell regains his composure, or rather, his usual excitedness. ‘That would work. OMG Amara, I’m loving the scheming! I have to say, I was really hurt that this all happened behind my back, but I understand your reasons. One more thing though, um… I don’t know how to ask you this…’

Amara laughs heartily, and hugs her friend. ‘Don’t worry Max, I won’t say a word to Bertrand.’

He hugs her back, sighing with relief. ‘Oh thank God.’

*****

Drake had always enjoyed the outdoors, especially on a gorgeous day like this one. Hard to believe there was a blizzard just yesterday; now the snowy clouds had given way to a beautiful blue sky. He was trying to relax on a quick hike and get all of the day’s stressful interactions out of his head. Amara had texted him earlier to say that Maxwell knew and was supportive, thankfully. But now, he had no idea how to handle the rest of them.

He almost turns around when he sees Liam and Madeleine talking together, walking in the opposite direction. But it’s too late, Liam has seen him. ‘Drake! Where are you headed?’

‘Oh, just stretching my legs before the wine tasting. Is it time to head back already?’

‘No, you’ve got time.’ Liam flashes a smile. ‘Where’s everyone else, do you know?’

‘Yeah, I was just with Max and Amara, they’re skating with Hana I think, she’s teaching them some moves.’

‘Good, let’s go see what they’re up to, shall we, Lady Madeleine?’

Madeleine plasters on a fake smile and replies ‘Of course, I’d be delighted to.’

Ugh. He waves goodbye and continues walking away. He truly cannot stand Madeleine. He’d always known that she was a fake friend to Savannah, who looked at her like she was a fucking work of art and a fabulous mentor. Of course she would never listen to him when he told her to watch her back. Although it was obvious that he hadn’t told her in the most diplomatic way... Drake was convinced that Madeleine had been the worst to Savannah, among the fake people at court. Plus, the very fact that she was here, competing for Liam’s hand when, just last year, she was engaged to be married to his brother, showed that all she cares about is the crown. And yet, Liam had to entertain her and act as if he were into her. Well, ‘had to’... Liam liked pleasing people, which Drake had never understood, but of course it came with the job description; you can’t be a prince and tell people to fuck off.

His phone buzzes in his pocket. He removes his gloves to retrieve it, and sure enough, a text from Amara.

Oh no, Madeleine is coming my way. Send help.

He chuckles. He imagines her sneaking away to send an illicit text, and this little forbidden gossip session feels incredibly warm and intimate.

He replies promptly.

Uh oh, that one might be on me, Suarez. I bumped into her and Liam and told them you guys were skating. I owe you big time…

The dots appear. She’s typing. God, this feels nice. Drake finds a small boulder to sit on while he’s waiting for her message. He takes in the gorgeous view. Things could be a lot worse.

OMG Walker, you DO owe me big time. I’ll think of a way you can repay me…

Heh, he thinks. It took only two texts for their exchange to become suggestive. They truly were still enmeshed in one another, even in the middle of all these people, with all these responsibilities… He had thought of her all day. He had loved every interaction with her, even pulled off some sneaky hand holding at times. Easy to do when you’re skating.

I’m sure you’ll find a way. I’m at your entire disposal, Detective.

The dots appear, then disappear. Then appear again, and vanish one more time. Oh no, had she gotten caught by Madeleine? That one was always on the prowl for some scandal to reveal, they would have to tread lightly. Finally, a message appears.

Speaking of Detective...I forgot to tell you with all that Maxwell drama, but Olivia knows about my old job. I don’t know how that might affect me, but it freaks me out.

Shit. Liv might have been super understanding about the two of them, but he knew how private Amara is with her past. This can’t be good, right?

Damn, I’m sorry. Are you ok? Any idea how she found out?

More dots.

No clue. I’m assuming she googled me, Madeleine asked me what I studied in college and where, so maybe she found me on the NYU Alumni network?

Shit. If Olivia was digging dirt, then maybe Madeleine was doing the same? There was nothing wrong with Amara having been a part of the NYPD, but she didn’t want to talk about it. And it was stressing her out. So, he types one last message.

On my way back, Suarez. I’ll be here soon, don’t go anywhere.

*****

Amara was grateful for Drake rejoining the group. She felt bad about cutting their sexting short, but when he called her Detective, she suddenly remembered Olivia’s revelation that she knew about her past. She had to remain calm about it, though. No need to freak out. It was Olivia, who had never done anything against her. She didn’t call her ‘Detective’ in a threatening way, just a playful throwaway at the end of a conversation. Did she aim to throw Amara off? Absolutely. But did she mean her any harm? Amara highly doubted it; she had come to trust Olivia’s judgment, so she would have to continue trusting it for now. Nothing she could do. She also didn’t want to ruin her last night in Lythikos with Drake.

Speaking of, here he was, walking back quickly towards the frozen lake. Amara gestures for him to join her on the side, where she was watching the others from.

‘Hey,’ he says, slightly out of breath from power walking in the snow. ‘Are you ok?’

‘Yeah, don’t worry. I just wanted to keep you in the loop. I’ll figure it out.’

He smiles at her, almost leans in to kiss her, visibly forgetting their surroundings. He catches himself and awkwardly runs his hand through his hair, removing his hat. ‘I wish I could kiss you,’ he whispers.

‘Me too. Later, though. I’m excited about the wine tasting.’ She inches closer and whispers ‘I’m very uninhibited when I have wine.’

He looks at her hungrily and smiles. ‘Good. Me too.’

*****

Taglist:

@andy-loves-corgis , @drakewalkerwhipped , @drakxwalker , @drakewalkerrosenberg , @drakeswalkers , @drakelover78 , @silviasutton1989 , @jovialyouthmusic , @drakeandcamilleofvaltoria , @mariahschoices , @drakesensworld , @thequeenofcronuts , @notoriouscs , @drakewalkerisreal , @nikkis1983 , @simsvetements , @alesana45

Thank you for your encouragements, everyone! Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist :)

#that's not why i'm going #drake walker x amara suarez #drake walker x mc #drake walker #drake walker trr #drake x mc #trr drake #drake trr #choices trr #trr fanfic #the royal romance fanfic #the royal romance

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fa-nfiction · 5 years

Text

Thunder #41

“The keys, Michael.” I tried to concentrate on finding the keys to my apartment. Michael was behind me, his hands touching me all over, which clearly did not help the situation.

“Forget the keys.” He growled into my ear before shoving me against the door to the apartment. I gasped with the sensation as he pressed himself against me.

“The neighbors-” I panted as he kissed the side of my neck all the while his hands were moving downwards.

“Which one of them? Mrs. Smythe, the stock deaf one?” He chuckled into my ear.

“Hush! Don’t-” I tried to stop him from lifting up my dress, but to no avail. The risk of getting caught was only turning him on more.

Somehow, I managed to break free of his grasp and I turned around. Of course, that didn’t help much.

He trapped me, one arm on each side of my head, all the while he looked down at me with a devious smile on his face.

“Can I just get a moment to get my keys?” I looked up at him while making the most innocent face I could manage. “Pleeease?”

“He moved closer and pressed his forehead against mine.

“Afraid not.” He replied. Before I could say or do anything, his hands went down and below my dress, and a moment after that, they took hold of my stockings and ripped them to pieces.

“What the hell!”

“Hush. The neighbors.” He replied and kneeled down in front of me.

“Oh no, no you’re not going to …” I tried to protest but I didn’t even believe my resistance myself. I braced myself for him, but it didn’t even begin to cut it as he finally put his face between my legs. I let out an uncontrollable moan as I felt his tongue against me.

He wasn’t careful or slow or taking his time, he went straight for the most sensitive spot as he held on to my hips.

“Oh Gooood, stop this, stop-” I half-whispered with my eyes clenched shut. He didn’t hear a word I was saying, he just kept on going, sucking and tasting me as if he’d been starving. Although my rational mind tried to stop this, yelling at me in my mind for being this obscene, my body was welcoming him and reacting exactly like it always did. I could feel myself getting closer, and as he entered one of his fingers inside of me, I almost screamed with the sensation. He pulled slightly back, only to whisper a command at me.

“Keep still, darl’.”

I pressed a hand in front of my mouth in a desperate attempt to do as he said. He returned to his task and didn’t hold back. As he moved his finger in perfect sync with his tongue, I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I raced towards the edge and beyond it, screaming into my hand as I felt my knees buckling below me. I heard him groaning against my sex and it made my orgasm even more powerful. I could feel myself shaking with the aftershocks as he finally pulled away from me, causing me to slide down and sit helplessly on the landing floor.

“Oh look at that, Cas.” He looked beyond smug as he stood up and pointed to my open bag on the floor. “The keys are right there.”

( … )

I’d reciprocated as soon as we’d gotten into the apartment, the two of us enjoying each other as we used to do before everything that changed our lives. Now, we were laying on my bed, exhausted and longing for cigarettes.

“I like the decor here. Half pink and half blue. Sad that we have to paint it over soon.” Michael smirked as he looked at me. He looked sleepy, but blissful.

“Paint it over?”

“Mm-hmm. Now with your mom moving to London and all. We’ll have to wrap this here up as well.”

“Oy?” I got up on my elbows, looking at him as if he’d suddenly grown four heads on top of his own.

“You don’t think?”

“That she’s going to London? No, why would she do that?”

“Oh I don’t know, darl’. Maybe that guy named Nathan?”

“Come on. They’ve dated for, what? Five minutes? I know her. She’d never do that.”

This day had been filled with surprises. Pleasant ones, but still. I wasn’t sure I could manage being surprised even more today.

“Is it because you don’t want her to?”

“What? No, of course not. I just know her.”

“Because if she moved, she would probably move in with Nathan. And then I’d probably get kicked. And then I’d have to find a house somewhere. And it would suck to sit there all alone. Don’t you think?”

“I - I … haven’t thought.”

“Do you want to?” He laid on his side so he could look properly at me. Something about his question made my heart flutter. I could see in the way that he looked at me that he wanted nothing more than for me to say yes. But also, he didn’t want to pressure me.

“A … house, you reckon?”

“Of course. Teddy needs a room and a garden. Oh, and rooms for his 12 future siblings, too.”

“What!” I punched him playfully in his chest. “12 siblings? I’m pretty sure that it’s you who will have to carry them, then.”

“Sure. As long as I get 12 more.” His smile gleamed in the afternoon sunlight as he teased me.

“And how did you become this filthy rich? A house - in London?”

“A small house. The 12 of them will just have to share a room.”

“Oh my God.” I was now positively howling with laughter. “You arse.”

“You love me.”

“That I do.” He kissed me on the tip of my nose and arose from the bed.

“Time for cigs. We have somewhere to be at 5.30.”

“5 more minutes.” I couldn’t endure the thought of getting up and going back to my Mom’s. I had missed Michael too much to not have him to myself for at least a little bit more.

“Fine.” He pulled up his jeans and moved to stand by the bed. I thought he was going to help me up, but instead he suddenly jumped on me. “Then it’s 5 minutes of tickle war!”

“Noooooooooo!” I screamed and laughed as he easily gained the upper hand.

( … )

“I can’t remember the last time I had a meal like that.” I said as I exhaled the smoke from my cigarette. My mother and I were sitting outside, smoking cigarettes after the insane meal that Nathan had prepared. A proper English roast, with roast potatoes, Yorkshire pudding and everything else that went with it. Everybody had eaten until they just couldn’t squeeze down a single bite more. Teddy had loved it and everybody had laughed along as he covered himself completely in potatoes and gravy. It had been like a family night the way the family nights should always be.

“I know. This one’s a keeper.” My mom laughed as she exhaled smoke from a cigarette of her own.

“Speaking about that. Why didn’t you tell me? I’ve known the guy for longer than you. You could have at least dropped a hint.”

“I don’t know.” She sighed. “I didn’t want to spring things on you. With the divorce from your Dad and all. I feared that you’d think I was moving way too fast.”

“C’mon Mom. The divorce was the best thing that could have ever happened.”

“”I know. But … well, I was afraid that you’d might get upset.”

“Does Dad know?” I stepped on my cigarette and put it out.

“No. I haven’t talked to him since … well, that was months ago. What about you?”

“God, no. The last time I spoke to him was when I was visiting you in the old apartment. He called my baby “a bastard child”. I’m not really keen on forgiving him, yet.”

“I remember that. I’m sorry you had to hear that.”

“I am, too.”

I saw a tear glistening in the corner of her eye.

“What’s the matter, Mom?”

“I should’ve-” She sniffled slightly but managed to compose herself. “I should have left him ages ago. I’m so sorry, Cassie.”

“Oh, Mom.” I reached out and pulled her in for a hug. “It’s okay. It is.”

“You’ve got to understand. I think you understand. A mom always wants to do the best for her child. In our case, I thought it was for the better if I stayed.”

“I know. I know, Mom.” We let go and looked at each other. “The best for me, right now, is that you’re happy.”

“I am.” She smiled and reached for another cigarette. “You have no idea.”

“And now you and Nathan are moving in together.” It was more of a conclusion than a question, and it seemingly came out of nowhere. I couldn’t believe the words I had just said, and even more so as my rational, steadfast mother nodded her head slowly.

“I wanted to ask for your permission.” She exhaled and suddenly looked like a giddy teenager.

“It was yours before you even asked, Mom.” She squealed - again, like a teenager - and hugged me tightly.

“Just one thing.”

“Anything. What is it?” She asked.

“I get to tell the boys.”

March 1st, 2016

I managed to keep quiet for a whole day until Monday hit. Teddy decided to wake up at 6 AM, but I didn’t mind. Quietly, I managed to get him up and out of the room without Michael waking up. I got the boy fed, got him dressed, and managed to get the both of us silently out of the apartment as we went to the shops.

“Heeey, little darl’. What you got there?” I heard Michael’s sleepy voice from where I sat. I had simply put the present in Teddy’s hands and placed him on the bed, hoping for his crawling and movements to wake up his dad. It worked like a charm.

Teddy babbled happily and wrapped his chubby fingers around the small, square present.

“Hey darl’. What’s all this?” Michael said, addressed to me. He sounded hoarse, but happy.

“A present. I thought, since you’re going back and all today. Something so you can think of us until we’ll see you again.”

“I already am thinking about you all the time.” He replied, and it made my heart feel warm.

“None the less. Open it.”

“Oh, you like the paper, Teddy? Here. No, not the ribbon. I take that.” Michael cooed at the boy and tucked the ribbon safely away.

“What’s this … it’s a … a Routemaster bus?” He held up the small, red model car and inspected in from every angle. “Isn’t he a bit young for that? It’s got all these tiny parts-”

“It’s not for him.”

Michael looked at me in utter confusion. I probably should have waited until he’d had his coffee, I thought to myself.

“Look inside of it.”

Michael held the bus up high, trying to shield it from Teddy who had now grown tired of the glittery paper. As he laughed and tried to keep it from the boy, a small piece of rolled up paper fell from the doors of it.

“What’s this?” He spoke and finally allowed the boy to take the bus.

“A Routemaster so that Teddy can get used to those.” He read out loud and paused before reading the rest, as a smile formed on his lips. “You best find us a house. We’re going to England.”

He stared at the paper for a solid three seconds, but in my head it felt like time stood still. My old insecurities came roaring back. Doesn’t he want us to move to him? Was it all something he said? Didn’t he mean it?

I let out a breath that I didn’t realize I’d been holding as he finally moved. Carefully, he folded up the small piece of paper and put it in his wallet. He lifted Teddy up, placed a kiss on his temple, and then went to me with the boy on his arm. Without speaking a word, he pulled me in for a hug and held me tightly. I put my arms around the both of them and felt tears leaving my eyes.

This is it. This is really happening.

I had never felt so happy or so loved as I did in this very moment.

#thunder 41 #thunderstorm #thunder series #the thunder series #michael fassbender fanfiction #michael fassbender fan fiction

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dezeriell · 6 years

Text

Hi There!

I thought I would make it to post my other blog post before this, but I had few days less than expected as my baby did come earlier. As from my other post you might know that I had less fluid in my cervix. 39th week – I already had more contractions and I was bleeding again. As long as I still remember everything I wanted to write down how my labor was, as it really was not easy for me!

(this is like a remembrance for myself too..)

19th of June 2018

I left the house for check up, somehow I knew it’s going to happen very soon. The days before I have been in contact with the hospital already as I was bleeding which they said is normal as my body is preparing.

The heart of baby Aria was doing good and the movement of the baby was also fine. They could still not tell where the blood came from and the placenta could not be seen on the ultra sound as usual (there will be a point on this after birth!!) Telling the doctor about what happened the last days and how I feel, they decided that I should stay there and I shall get induced later in the afternoon. I had lunch, informed my boyfriend and then I walked up to the labor room.

ca. 3 PM

I was prepared and got this needle thing in my hand (for the IV) and was checked with the CTG again.

4:30 PM

I got this medication to induce the labor. It looked like a tampon which was actually the strongest of all medication, but was suggested by the doctor.

5 PM

My boyfriend arrived with the hospital bag and we had dinner and we went for a walk outside and facetimed with my family in Berlin.

9 PM

We had to go back to the room for the first check up. I already felt the pain coming. While walking I already had contractions.

9:20 PM

The first real contraction came along… I was laying in bed already and breathing it away. This was still fine. I was about 1 cm dilated. Another midwife came in for the night shift.

10 PM to 12:30 AM

This was the most extreme time I had in labor, except the birth later on. I was in such pain, I had very strong contractions around every 3 minutes which shoot up high so fast that I was like having an electro shock every time. This is what I heard that contractions with inducing are very different to natural contractions. I don’t remember everything only that I was crying and said I can’t do this. I was only dilated 3 cm and still had to go on for the next 7 hours this way?! I was like nooo!! Screaming into the pillow trying to breathe and hanging myself on this rope that was attached to the ceiling. It really took all of my energy and I was so in shock about this pain. I knew that it will be very different to what I have ever known in my life and I needed to go through this. My baby was doing fine and already in position moving down. Then I asked for some pain reliever as I just wanted to have a break from this pain. It held on for like 2 contractions… I asked for something stronger. This was also injected and it held for like 3-4 contractions, but then it went on again. I still tried to breathe it all out with each contraction with the midwife. I was asking for a PDA, but then I was explained maybe to keep it this way and more naturally or the next option was laughing gas. My boyfriend was like – the PDA they will put a needle in your back.. I was like yeah I know I just want this to stop until I give birth and was begging. I couldn’t even finish a sentence in that hour. They gave me the laughing gas and I really hated it. It made me feel high and like I am losing my mind. Every time I was breathing it in I should breath it out in the same thing..it made me feel having asthma. I just remember moving my head around eyes closed, crying.

12:30 AM

Next step – PDA! Finally the anesthetist came in and explained everything to me and my boyfriend – with some breaks as I had contractions. She just came from another room where some else got the PDA too. I was hold together by my boyfriend and the midwife so I won’t move during a contraction. The whole procedure was done and after around 5 minutes I could tell the difference!! I was me again and could speak out whole sentences.

1 PM to 5.30 AM

My boyfriend and I could finally take a rest. I was still checked every hour. I had an IV with something to hydrate me and I had this little remote to press the button if the pain comes – there was another bag hanging for the IV. In between I had to change positions and we were good as I was dilated like 8 cm already. I was bleeding which they said is normal. These hours saved my life I thought.. it was an unreal feeling, but I knew I am about to see my baby.

Around 6 AM

My boyfriend was awake, I was dilated 9 cm and they were about to get everything ready for birth. I was explained that there will be a certain pressure and its the contraction. This is what we need to work with for pushing, but I will be told later on.

6:30 to 7 PM

I was fully dilated. Another midwife came in for the morning shift. I was about to push and concentrate on the pressure what I was explained and to move on giving birth soon. Now here comes the shocking point or disappointing moment: I was given medication per IV to get the contractions back. Pushing on the button against the pain from the PDA didn’t work anymore and nobody reacted to that. I was completely in pain as I was before just worse and as my baby was already deep down where my pelvis was stretching. I was back on trying to hold it, trying to be strong, but the pain was so extreme through this medication that I couldn’t concentrate on my baby, on breathing and pushing. This was horrible. At the same time so disappointing as I was told different and then this happens. For what did I let someone stick a needle in my back when this was not the purpose not to have all this pain while giving birth??

7:30 AM

I was pushing and pushing..then I was told to leave out pushing for maybe 3-4 contractions.. just breathe! They had a meeting with the doctors and we had to wait. The pain got worse. Then an assistant doctor came in to check and make an ultra sound how the baby is doing. The baby pulse got higher whenever I started pushing, so they let me pause again 3 contractions. The pain and my emotions came together and I started crying again. The assistant doctor saw that it would not work this way and let anesthesist come in again to give me something to lower the pain level through PDA. My boyfriend and I where nervous and didn’t know what exactly was going on as we were told, my water broke 12 hours ago and this means there is a possibility of an infection of the baby.. I already had fever. Another doctor came in checked the ultra sounds again. They suggested to move on with a suction cup. They said normally it takes around 2-3 hours until birth after being fully dilated. I was pushing 2 1/2 hours already. I said to my boyfriend yes, please let us do this because this takes way to long and if it helps her… some minutes went by they got all the tools together and I was still having contractions. The assistant doctor was placing the suction cup… wrong! Had to take it off and place it again!! First contraction pushing and pushing and pushing… taking a break waiting for the next contractions to build up my boyfriend already saw the head and said her hair is black! At this point everything was so tight down there this was such a weird feeling.

9:58 AM

I pushed again and again and again… THERE SHE WAS!! I didn’t hear anything, the pediatrician took her right away and there finally I heard her voice!! This was the moment I started crying I was longing for her she was so far, yet still in the room. My boyfriend went over as he was worried not hear her voice. He wasn’t even able to cut the navel as they had to handle fast – because of the infection, I thought! (coming back to this later/ other blog post!) Finally was she checked and everything was fine and she was healthy no infection, thank the universe!! In the meanwhile everything came out of me what was still in there..

The Placenta

The past months I had problems with the placenta and we were not sure where the blood came from. I was sick off earlier than I thought, I was not allowed to move too much..I was at home getting used that I can’t do much. After giving birth to the placenta they cut it and where looking if everything is fine with it and then looked after some bruises BECAUSE this actually caused the bleeding months ago. Even I was looking at it! NOTHING was found!! Everything was good with it I mean I am thankful for that..but in the end we will never find out where it actually came from.

My Baby Aria was born – 50 cm and 3110 KG

I was finally with her, she was laying on me, staring at me! This is an unforgettable moment – my heart grew bigger for her and I had a face to the movements in my bump. I love her so much and I was so happy, I could not believe a little human came out of me. After all that what happened … after all we went through and we stayed so strong! Everything is worth it, I swear! I didn’t really care about me I just wanted her to be good and healthy. I started to give her my breast and I got an ice-cold coke and it was so good!!

Tearing down there!

Yes, this happened due to pulling her out with the suction cup, first the assistant doctor was not sure if it was that or if the blood came from the inside. Then she started sewing I didn’t really feel anything.

My bladder was over filled

I couldn’t go to the restroom, either during the night or after birth. I had 1 1/2 L of urine in my bladder. I had to get a catheter during the whole stay at the hospital and now also at home. As this could get dangerous. But I didn’t mind as long as this helps my bladder to get smaller. I called the urine sack Alfredo for some reasons.

Inducing labor is something different.. than a natural one:

The main difference between a natural and artificially started labour is the intensity of the contractions. In a natural labour, oxytocin works to stimulate your uterus to contract and dilate the cervix. … Natural labour usually begins slowly, with a gradual build up of spaced out contractions that are short and mild

Read more about it here!

made it through the 2nd night

3rd day

Our first night together

3rd day we changed her clothes 🙂

next morning

During the day of birth

one day old Aria

IN ALL!!

This was an experience which was crazy, madness of pain, emotions and a wonder having my baby finally in my arms. The days in the hospital were going quiet well we had all the help we needed the midwives were so kind. Her first check up went good and I got breast pump to take home for a week and all information. Next week I will go back to get Alfredo my catheter out.

I will be posting a blog for how our first week went at home and a post about what I found out through my midwife who visits me at home, which is shocking what actually caused my baby having a high pulse and not screaming when she was born!

This is quiet a long story, but I wanted to keep all in details so I can have flash backs later on 🙂

I don’t know if other women were in such pain too while the labor was induced? There are women saying no to another child after the first one.. some women don’t remember the pain.

I think you can never compare all births and judge. I think everyone has a unique story..

and this was mine!

XOXO

Désirée

Baby Aria – Labor & Delivery Story Hi There! I thought I would make it to post my other blog post before this, but I had few days less than expected as my baby did come earlier.

#baby #birth story #delivery #giving birth #inducing labor #labor #life #motherhood #Pregnancy

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diddlfanaat · 3 years

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With The First Kiss *A BTS reverse harem x Y/n

Genre: Romance, Soulmate Fantasy with maybe a little angst and a lot of smut

Pairing: BTS x Reader (all seven)

Summary: The first kiss between two people gifts one of them with a soulmate mark. To seal it, the other has to say ‘I love you’

Join Y/n when she meets her soulmate, and the adventure it takes her on.

(Y/n is very, very open-minded, you have been warned)

Word Count: 107.450 so far.

Part; 6/?

Warnings: Explicit sexual content, masturbation, voyeurism, pornography, blindfolding, spanking, choking,

*5. Anything interesting to see? Maybe*

Only just 3 am, I groan, turning back around. I'm still not able to sleep. I feel like I have a fever, my body is burning up, filled with liquid fire. If I were made of wood for instance, I would have been burned up completely by now. Turned to charcoal. My mind can't seem to settle down either, continuously switching between everything that happened so far. I've helped myself two times already, both times the orgasm coming quickly, but the heat in my body stays, and burns hotter still, so I stopped. When my scattered brain wants to revisit Yoongi's touch, a tiny scream of frustration leaves my lips, I kick the sheet covering me off me and get up. I dress myself and quietly tip toe my way down outside. Coming to my usual spot, I find it occupied. Hoseok is lounging back, looking up at the sky full of stars. "Can't sleep", I ask quietly. My question makes him sit upright immediately, turning his head in my direction, and I see his right-hand slide back to the armrest. 'Where was that hand going' I wonder. "No, unfortunately not. I sometimes have insomnia. And you?" He sighs tiredly.

"No sleep, but also no insomnia. Last night and today, too much happened, and my mind is keeping me hostage”, I laugh, but not really. I need to get rid of this arousal. I'm so filled with a burning; I'm astonished I haven't combusted yet. He chuckles at that, "I can imagine. So, what's your favorite thing that happened?" I look at him, my thoughts jump from the first thing that happened to the last thing, the cycle repeating itself. I can't settle on one thing, so I sigh, "I can't really pick one thing, but if I have to, I would say the kiss at the club, purely because not knowing who adds a level of mystery. And you? Which show did you enjoy more?" I ask with a grin plastered to my face. "definitely the first one. The second was quite tame next to the first one.""That may be", I reply fiddling with my fingers looking down at them before I add on a whisper, "but it still had the same effect as the first", he regards me intently, I can see the wheels in his head turning when I lift my head again to look at him, deciding on what to ask me. "So", he drawls, " you're attracted by those two only?" I look at him, "I'm attracted to all of you", I blurt out. His eyes light up hearing me say that, and he shifts his legs a little. I fight the temptation to look down, instead keeping his stare, letting the silence stretch. He does the same, a war being held in his eyes with different emotions running behind them, flattery, pride, longing, to finally settle on lust. He licks his lips slowly, drawing my eyes, "you know", he swings his legs over the side of the lounge he sitting on, facing me head on, leaning in to my face, stopping just before connecting his lips with mine, " when Yoongi had his hand down your panties, I wished it was my hand, and me holding you in my arms." He let his statement sink in, while my breathing accelerates, then he pulls slightly back and stands up. Now my eyes are trained on his crotch, which is sporting an obvious bulge, right before my eyes. I lick my lips before leaning back a little and looking up at his face again. He smiles, seeing me acknowledge his arousal, taking a step back, he bends down, our noses touching, "like what you do to me?", he whispers huskily. An involuntarily small moan leaves my throat, his smile turning into a devilish grin. Snapping out of the sexual haze he created over me, I can only nod once. My limbs don't seem to function correctly. Satisfied with my response he slowly walks back inside the house, knowing, I'm watching his ass, how it flexes when he walks away from me. As soon as he is gone, and I can't see him anymore, my body slumps in on itself and all the tension leaves in a giant wave, sighing with relief, I close my eyes and relax into the chair. Laying there, my mind doesn't give me any peace. 'What the fuck is happening? I'm seriously going to die before they even go back home. 'When I'm with all seven, three steal my main focus, one flooring me with his duality it's freaking insane, one with his presence , so strong, I can only submit to him, and the last with his confidence, knowing he does his absolute best with everything he does, the sexual attraction and tension with all three equally strong. Then when I'm alone with just one of them, no matter with whom, the sexual attraction and tension is just as strong as with one of the three when they're all together' I realize laying there, letting all of it run through my mind. They seriously have me wound as tight as a spring, ready to snap at any moment, the release promising to be mind-blowingly delicious, bordering on the edge of pain. I didn't know I liked to be surprised like this, with words whispered, or groaned, or even growled, and almost gestures, keeping me on edge all the time, wondering what's going to happen next, but they managed every time so far. I like this on edge feeling. 'Tomorrow is definitely going to be interesting', and with that thought I finally drift off to sleep.I get woken up by a loud shout, I shoot upright, trying to figure out what that noise was. When it comes again, I instantly recognize it as the voice of Lindsy, my best friend, who's supposed to come over later. I checked the time and bolted off the chair seeing it was already 5.30 am. She has been waiting for half an hour already, I see the missed calls and notifications, quite a lot, I quickly reply, apologizing and telling I'm on my way. How did I sleep through those, then I see the sound was turned off, figures? As I rush inside, going straight to the front door, the house is silent, the boys are still asleep. Luckily, I told Lindsy not to ring the doorbell, and she apparently never did while waiting. I open the door, and there she is, in all her glory. She is the same height as me, perfect body, slim and toned, dark blonde wavy hair reaching just above her shoulders, blue eyes with a permanent smile looking through, a straight nose, round lips slightly on the thin side but they suit her face beautifully. I don’t think I'm gay, maybe bi, but only with her. No other girl or woman has that kind effect on me. I'm not in love with her, it's just physical attraction. I don't care, it makes life interesting. "Sorry, sorry. First, I couldn't sleep, and when I did, I woke up too late. Come in." I step back and let them all in, greeting each with a smile and a small wave. They know where to set up and they start right away, because of me we're behind schedule. Lindsy pulls me with her after I close the door. Giving me some bags to carry, getting to the dining table she puts the bags on it, and starts unloading them, bras, and panties, all my size, in all colors. Some have lace, others don't. The white set has no lace, but it's see-through, the panties of the set, are extremely small, barely covering anything, but not see-through. The blue one is a push-up with delicate lace, the cups a little smaller than normal creating a bigger cleavage, the panties are also lace with two little bows just over the hips. All different, but incredibly beautiful. "They're a little more daring and revealing than the last line, am I right?", I nudge her arm with my elbow smiling brightly at her. She laughs and nods happily, "Yes, I believe so, you like?" she links her arm with mine and puts her head on my shoulder. "Of course, I get to keep them", I giggle, "which one first?" She thinks, and I disentangle myself, walking away saying, "I need to set up breakfast. Be right back", she nods arranging the lingerie for the photoshoot. I quickly make breakfast, so the guys can eat when they want to. When I get back the stylists help me get dressed, decked out in accessories as well, then hair and makeup. Once Lindsy is satisfied with how I look, I'm ready to get in front of the camera, We go outside, passing through the kitchen, and all are awake and lined up in front of the window, ready to watch. Yoongi, Jimin and Jungkook still rubbing the sleep out of their eyes. The other 4 look a little more awake. When Lindsy sees the boys, she stops, grabbing my arm, making me stop too. She whispers in my ear, "who are they? They are hot", she is nineteen and currently between boyfriends. The boys don't understand her but seeing her look at them the way she does, they can make a fair guess on what she's talking about. "I told you about them, for my dance job. They are staying here so they can learn new dances. Why? Anyone catch your interest?" I giggle eyeing the boys with Lindsy. "Well", she casually says, "the one with blue hair is very handsome", I look at Taehyung and he smiles at us, "and he is very sweet", I tell her while pulling her with me to the backyard. I wave at the boys when we pass them and they either smile or nod, and Yoongi is trying his best to see inside my robe. This makes me laugh out loud and Lindsy looks at me confused, "Well, what is his name?", she asks me impatiently. "I couldn't tell you inside, he would have known we were talking about him. His name is Taehyung and he's 21 years old, a singer and great dancer. Overall a great person and he likes to hug people, so good luck", I wink at her and I take my position, right before we start I look back at the house, connecting with seven pairs of eyes. They all were in the kitchen looking at me through the window. I wink at them with a mischievous smile, untying the sash and letting the robe slide down my shoulders and off. A stylist takes it from me, and I focus on the camera and once the photographer asks, "Ready?" I nod and begin. Dancing, in slow-motion, like I'm dancing in front of someone, someone I'm trying to seduce. Lindsy told me, while I was changing to seduce the camera, so instead of seeing the camera I see one of their faces. The color of the set I'm wearing determines who I'm thinking about. I'm wearing a pink laced set; the bra is darker in color than the panties. I keep dancing sensually, but awfully slow, big movements can ruin quite a lot, with small and subtle changes, magic can happen. Lindsy is watching every picture taken on a computer screen that is linked to the camera for instant access. Every set gets a certain number of frames shot, and when we reach the amount of this set, I put the robe back on and go inside to change. The boys greet me when I walk past them again, Jin licks his lips, his eyes lingering on the lingerie, at least were the lingerie would be. He can't see it anymore. The next color is purple, hair and make-up changes too.When I walk back through the kitchen, some stand eating looking out the windows, while the others look at me. I go outside and repeat everything just like the first set, my dancing turning more and more sensual, the photographer clicking away rapidly, this whole process repeats two more times, every time, walking past the boys, one of them licks his lips, and funnily it's the one I was thinking about while shooting, letting me know they liked the view.Then it is time for the fifth set. After changing I go back to the kitchen, I'm not even there yet and my arm gets yanked, making me crash into a warm but very firm chest. He quickly pecks my lips and takes his place back at the window. I shake my head and resume what I was doing.The next set has another whispering in my ear, "little minx, intent on driving me crazy, huh?", before giving me a good luck kiss, sliding his tongue in once before retreating to the window, the kiss is too short to determine if he was the one at the club, bummer, secretly I hope it's him, he has my attention the most out of the seven. When I'm back in front of the camera, the boys come outside too, to get a better, and closer view.It's finally time for the last set, and I only need to change, no new hair and make-up, it stays the same. This leaves me alone in the room, I change, put the robe on, it's already turning dusk, and the white will contrast nicely against a darker background. I just finished tying the sash, when I feel a presence behind me, making me hold my breath, waiting. I feel hands on my waist. Gently pulling me back against him, his breathing tells me it's a guy. It could've be one of the women who are here today. It's not Lindsy, she would have said something. But it sounds like a guy. I'm immediately flooded with his body heat. I relax, leaning back against him, closing my eyes, and letting my head drop back, just barely reaching his shoulder. He bends his knees, pushing his hardness against my ass, slightly rocking. He licks my earlobe, "feel what you do to me?", his voice, raspy and so sexy, I need to catch my breath, getting dizzy with the feeling of him riding up against me. Making me want him to rip the clothes from my body and take me right here and now. I like this set, so no ripping just yet. I do have other lingerie which he can rip off if he wants to. Suddenly he turns me around and grabs my ass with both hands, he leans his head forwards towards my lips. I quickly put my hand over his mouth, stopping him, seeing the confusion in his eyes, I stand on tip-toe and breath, "please stop, I can't ruin these panties just yet. After the shoot, okay?" I see his eyes light up with understanding and his hands slowly slide back to my waist, before he pecks the tip of my nose, he disappears, and I try to slow my racing heart down. When I feel more like myself, I go and finish the shoot. When I take the robe of, I keep my back to the camera, and I can hear several intakes of breaths. The panties barely cover my ass, it's almost a thong. It makes me feel sexy, knowing I can take someone’s breath away, like they do with me. Lindsy hears them and watches the boys when I finally turn around and look at them, seven pairs of eyes turn dark with lust, fixed on my nipples which are clearly to see. After seeing this she comes over, slightly next to me, so everyone can see both of us clearly, 'what is she up to?' I can barely finish the thought, before she kisses me slowly, softly, her hand reaches my face, and her thumb rubs slowly over my cheek. I part my lips, inviting her in, and our tongues slide softly over each other. She pulls back, just losing the connection, but still remarkably close, "what was that for?", I whisper. She smiles, but just barely, the corner lifting just a little. "I just wanted them to get jealous, did you see the way they looked at you?", she said with a little pride in her voice, after all it is her creation that I'm wearing. I chuckle, "Now go, so I can finish. It's getting darker and we'll lose all the light." She leaves and goes back to her spot, not sparing the boys a glance to see the effect of what she just did."Finally, alone at last", I say, closing my bedroom door, and slumping against it. Lindsy and the others just left, she was happy with the pictures, assuring me she would have a hard time choosing the pictures that will be used. She even told me that Namjoon talked to her, ordering pictures for everyone. Knowing this fills me with the knowledge they want me. I might die, but I'll have fun doing it. I dump all the lingerie, including the one I'm wearing, in the hamper and turn on the shower, I need to get all this crap out of my hair and off my face. The hot water feels refreshing and it rejuvenates me. I wash my hair and body and rinse off. I dry myself and even blow dry my hair, walking back into my room, I dress in black panties and sweatpants and a t-shirt like last night. This time a white one with the print 'babygirl', it was a gift, don't judge me, I only wear this one at home and to sleep.Arriving in the kitchen, I see Jin and Yoongi cooking, in the back, are the others setting the table. "Need any help?" I ask in general. Yoongi shakes his head, while Jin says, "no, no, thank you. Everything is under control. You're probably tired after working all day?" I shake my head walking on, "nope, not tired. I had fun today, so it doesn't feel like work. Besides, free lingerie as a bonus", I pull a chair out and plant my ass on it, the boys scurrying around me like ants working. I enjoy myself watching them, I can feel eyes on me every time I look away, so I don't know who's looking. When I look in the direction from which I can feel the stare, no one is looking. 'Playing games, are we?', I happily think, I like it, 'let's play'. When the table is set, the boys take their seat and we talk about everything, from favorite movies to if I want kids at some point, and every topic in between. Meanwhile, Jin and Yoongi arrive with the food, wine flows freely and the topics get specific, more personal. After dinner I help the boys clean up, everyone helps, making us finish in no time. Since it's still relatively warm outside, we all sit around a little fire I made. "Let's play a game", Yoongi says, looking around at everyone. "What game?", Namjoon asks, "Truth or dare", Yoongi’s looking right at me, "Y/n can ask any of us, but we can only ask her, Okay?" I put up my hand, "but I like to add two more rules, please", they look at me expectantly, "number one, If I choose truth, you can ask me anything you want, you can even ask me something about yourself if you want. Number two, If I choose dare, the dare can't involve yourself, it must be someone else, or something completely different. So basically, your luck depends on someone else. Deal?", I wait, they look and give each other little nods, "deal.""How about I start?", I look around, seeing them agree, I look at each of them in turn to decide who to start with. "Hoseok, truth or dare?", he leans forward, locking eyes with me, "dare", he smiles, "I dare you to give Namjoon a lap dance", his eyes shoot to Namjoon, seeing him look back at him, challenging Hoseok to do it. Hoseok gets up and moves towards Namjoon, and I pick an appropriate song for him to dance to. When the music starts, Hoseok starts, first he sways in front of Namjoon, slowly getting on his knees, running his hands up Namjoons legs, who visibly tenses up. Hoseok stops right before reaching Namjoons cock, then he plants himself on Namjoons lap, facing everyone and not Namjoon. Hoseok slowly rotates his hips down on Namjoon, who screws his eyes shut, I let him continue until Namjoon grips Hoseok's hips to still him. I wave my hands laughing, "okay, okay, you're done. You can stop", Hoseok gets up and I see Namjoon relaxing back, relief all over his face. I freeze when I hear Hoseok ask, 'oh yeah. Shit, it's my turn. What do I choose?'"Truth or dare?", I barely hear him, but I see his lips move, my mouth is suddenly very dry, anticipation running through me, 'truth or dare? Which one do I pick' repeats over and over in my head looking at Hoseok, looking back at me, waiting and waiting? "Dare", I finally get past my lips, "Straddle Namjoon and kiss him." I don’t want to kiss him, well it's not that I don't want to, I want to be kissed, and not start myself, I know it's weird, it's just how I like it. "Fine, just this once, and if you want to know why, you can ask me when I choose truth." I get up and go over to Namjoon, straddling him. His hands rest on my waist right away, I look him in the eyes while I inch closer and closer. With just an inch between our lips, I grab his face and pull him towards me, connecting our lips. He groans and his hands tighten, squeezing my hips. His tongue licks my bottom lip, he wants to deepen the kiss and I let him, opening my mouth, he tastes like the wine he drank, fruity and sweet. I suck his tongue like it's his cock, at this he grabs the back of my head and takes over the kiss, sliding aggressively and greedy, tasting and exploring. The feel of his soft tongue makes me moan, completely forgetting we're being watched. I can't seem to stop, I don’t want to stop, and it feels like he doesn't want to either. His hold on me tightens and pulls me closer, he's hard beneath me and I can't help but to move back and forth just a little. His hand still on my waist squeezes, stopping me. I pull back in desperate need of air and rest my head on his shoulder. He has his head thrown back gulping air into his lungs. I stay like I am, my heart doesn't want to slow down, but finally after a while it does. I lift my head and look at Namjoon, who's already looking at me, a look of adoration in his eyes, he's still holding my waist with one hand and the back of my head with the other. I get off him, him trying to hold me, reluctantly letting me go, and I return to my place. I need some time to compose myself more, I'm still a little dazed, 'they know how to kiss', is all I'm thinking, 'okay, okay, stop, focus', I look at Jimin and ask, "truth or dare?""Truth", he says, bummer, I wanted him to touch himself, but okay truth it is, "Which lingerie set I wore today was your favorite and why?", his eyes glaze a little when he thinks back to today, he opens his mouth, "the why too?", I nod, "fine, the blue one, it fit you beautifully, making you look sexy and hot, fuckable", a blush rising to his cheeks. He looks down at his fingers in his lap, the others teasing him a little, he clears his throat before asking, "truth or dare?", a mischievous glint in his eye. Should I be scared? I decide to take the risk, "dare.""Give Yoongi a lap dance", I should have seen this coming, and with Yoongi too. My mouth is dry, just like the Sahara Desert I expect. As soon as those words leave Jimin's lips, Yoongi is staring at me, half-lidded, filled with lust, licking his lips in anticipation. I get up and walk to him, and stop right before him, waiting for the music to start. As the music starts, I let it fill me up before I start. I roll my hips to the rhythm and let my hands slide over my belly, one hand travels up, while the other travels down, I crouch down and open my legs, falling forwards on my knees, all the while rotating and rolling my hips. I grab his knees and pull them apart, creating a space for me to slide up his body. My head goes towards his obvious bulge and I skim my nose over it, he moans huskily, I don't stop and indeed slide my body over him, till my lips touch the crook of his neck. I want to taste him, so I push my tongue out and lick up to his ear, "want more?", I whisper seductively. He tastes like forbidden fruit, seductive, but sweet, it pairs well with how he smells, all of it intoxicating. I turn my body, basically laying on top of him and start to grind my ass right into him, his breathing turns heavy, and loud in my ear. His breath gives me goosebumps. Both hands grab my waist and try to control the speed, I let him guide me how he wants. When I want more, I take control again and before my hands move to his, I bite and suck his earlobe. He growls and his hands tighten, trying to speed my movements up.I grab his hands, moving them under my shirt, his breath hitches when he feels my bare skin. I slowly, but steadily push his hands higher, again not wearing a bra, until his soft hands hold me in his hands. I pull my hands away and with one grab the back of his neck. I hear one of the boys’ groan, "fuck", I believe it was Jungkook, and the others just groan and moan, eyes fixed on Yoongi's hands under my shirt. Yoongi exhales long and slow, he gives an experimental squeeze and moans in my ear, "Fuck, you feel heavenly, I want to taste you", so only I can hear. I'm still grinding on him, and his cock is straining to get out, poking me in the ass. Feeling his arousal, and his hands on my breasts light a fire just beneath my skin, making his touch burning, but in a good way, one I want more of. It centers right between my legs, and the feeling of craving a direct touch on my clit is getting stronger and stronger. When Yoongi rolls my nipples between his fingers, I whimper and squirm on his lap, followed by a moan. Obviously, the boys enjoy the show, nobody’s stopping me, and I don't care, his hands feel too good. I turn my head to his neck and lick up to his ear, so I can suck on his earlobe again. I nibble and suck for a bit, then look around at the others. Everyone's attention is wholly on me, burning me, making juices flow, making me slick and wet. Yoongi moves one of his hands down, right into my sweatpants, and cups me with his hand, slowly moving up and down. I don't stop him; I want him to touch me. I need him to touch me and give me an orgasm and I don't care we're not alone. He switches to just his finger moving up and down, and when he feels how soaked I'm already, "Just so wet for me", he groans, and a guttural raspy moan leaves his throat. His voice does things to me I can't describe, putting me in a haze and the only thing I feel are his hands, and body, I only hear his voice, forgetting the six watching. It's just him and me. He gets frustrated with the barrier beneath his finger, pushing his hand into my panties to continue where he left off yesterday. Not wasting any time, he gets right to it, and rubs my clit at a steady pace, my breath hitches and I pant, mixed in are moans. Two fingers are pushed inside me, pulled out, and pushed in again, then his finger rubs my clit again, gradually speeding the tempo up, an orgasm fast approaching. He keeps repeating this cycle, but now when he pulls his fingers out, the curls them, shooting tingles and shivers down my spine. It's bordering on the edge of pain, but it feels so fucking delicious. Meanwhile the hand on my breast keeps squeezing and pinching my nipple, the almost pain adding to the fire building in my belly. I've stopped grinding, my whole focus on his fingers and the orgasm building. He starts to buck his hips up, like he is fucking me, which makes me think about him sliding into me, filling me up, and it's my undoing and I come all over his fingers. My head is turned towards his ear and I moan his name into his ear. I've never been loud during sex; I like it better when its soft. I get a little self-conscious, wondering if they're not disappointed with me not being extremely loud. I mean, I make noise, I just don't scream, basically just moaning. Yoongi lets me ride out my high on his lap, holding me tightly, "thank you", he whispers. He pulls his hand back, to finally get a taste, but I stop him once again when he moves his hand to his face. I lick myself off of him and he's panting beneath me, "fuck, that looks hot, but I wanted to taste you", he growls a little angry, "Sorry, maybe next time right from the source?", I wink and get back to my place. Once I sit down, I notice the state of the six boys. They look totally fucked out, except for Jimin. I quietly giggle to myself, Namjoon, Taehyung and Jungkook have their hands in their pants, palming themselves, Hoseok and Jin palm the bulge they are sporting, and Jimin stares me down with a dark gaze I can't read, he's leaning forward so I can't see if he's aroused. Yoongi lights up a joint, 'so, he found my stash', he offers the others one, and I take it, lighting it up, I let it fill me and my heart slows down, giving me a break, a momentary reprieve. I'm not paying attention who all take one, but when I glance around, I see everyone holding one. "So, Yoongi, truth or dare?", looking him up and down, the bulge still present and apparent. "Truth", I take my time thinking up a question, "fuck, okay, what was the weirdest item a fan has ever sent you?", he looks a little disappointed, "what?", I say, "it's your fault I can't think properly right now", he chuckles proudly, just like a peacock strutting around, showing everyone how beautiful he is. He turns solemn, "A dead bird, with a note saying she was prepared to kill a living thing to be with me, and keeping me safe", he says.

"So truth or dare, Y/n?"

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terpernoctem · 4 years

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GOOD GOD was that a bad day

what is this

graced with two posts in a day? my my

HAHA don’t get ahead of yourselves

god

i hadn’t had one of those in a pretty good while tbh and i’m kind of shocked by the violence of my feelings right now so yeah you gonna hear about it alright

*inhales*

brace yourselves

so after almost dying this morning (remember) i went on with my day (which consisted of not a lot, mind you but whatever) with absolutely zero energy at all. i felt like crap all day long, and i tried eating but i wasn’t even hungry, kinda nauseous, actually, so all in all meh

had a appointment at 5.30 though. put one toe outside and it starts raining a little. i keep walking telling myself it’s gonna be fine. i turn the corner and it’s now hailing. so much in fact, that i had to go back upstairs to get my forgotten umbrella, but too late, the damage was done. i usually don’t mind the rain, i actually quite enjoy it but

see

I HAD DONE MY HAIR

I WASHED AND CURLED AND SHAPED MY HAIR

DO YOU HOW LONG IT’D BEEN SINCE I HAD DONE MY HAIR

FUCKING HELL

it was perfect, too, shiny, glossy, light, my fringe was just right, i felt like a snack—nay, like a whole damn meal in fact

but NOOOOOOOOO the universe couldn’t let me have this could ITTTT

so anyways, i go back downstairs looking like a drowned rat, and i start walking towards my appointment, and because i had lost time getting back up for the goddamn umbrella i was now kinda late

so what do i do

i walk fast

in new shoes

the idiot that i am decided to speedy up WEARING NEW SHOES

so you can guess what comes next. my feet started hurting. like motherfuckers. (i actually read an article a while ago about why women were so angry all the time, and apparently one main reason is because our shoes are uncomfortable, and let me tELL YA, THIS ARTICLE IS ON POINT)

but i get to my appointment more or less on time, and when it’s over i decide to go and get myself a cinnamon bun, and maybe why not, let’s go see what’s playing at the movies and make a real outing out of this mess (i was DESPERATE to get out of this mood)

WELL

for one, pastry shop was out of cinnamon buns, actually they were out of almost anything, so i go elsewhere, feet continue to hurt, it now feels i have sandpaper brushing against the skin of my big toes and my little toes

i swear to God, it was hurting me so much i almost took off the goddamn shoes right there in the street

but I COULDN’T COULD I

so i didn’t and i kept walking towards the cinema but at this point i was about to cry and i was also thirsty and honestly i think if I had sat down for more than an hour and then had to walk again in those obviously devil-made contraptions, i would have cut off both feet and worn them across my shoulder like rollerblades

anyways

so i walked—yes walked—my way home and i got home and took off the shoes and felt like my skin was going with it (it probably did) and it hurts still, and i just wanted a nICE DAY BUT

NOW

now I’M HOME AND I ALSO AM OUT OF ORGANIC CHOCOLATE SPREAD AND NOBODY LOVES ME AND I JUST WANT A HUG FROM MY MOMMA and actually what I really really wish i could do

ugh

i want to slap someone in the face

preferably a tall, fair man with fair eyes and the kind of smugness he shouldn’t actually have cause he isn’t that hot (really)

huh—but anyways, not the point

i guess what i’m trying to say: when you hear that little voice that tells you to stay home today cause you just know that it’s not a good idea to go outside, that it’s not gonna be a good day, that you don’t have to make it a good day, that you are allowed to have not so good days, and for goodness sake, especially when said day starts with brushing up with actual death—listen to that voice.

alright.

good night.

#what's shakin' sugar

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ilkkijangege · 4 years

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113

Ola chicas!

Just got home from our work night out. I was talking to Chad but it was not enough. I found out that he is the eldest among his siblings and he's finally said his life story, how he moved around a lot as a kid. He explained that he has an American accent because he went to an American school in Switzerland. But the funny thing is, he is the only one among his siblings who actually has an American accent.

We were together most of the night, like beside each other etc. He is the doing the late shift tomorrow (Saturday) and I told him how I told MF that if it was too late to ask our TL if I can do the late shift instead. He tells me to talk to him and I did. My TL told me at first, he did not have authority anymore but I could wing it. So I told Chad, fuck it, I am gonna wing it. SO GUYS FROM 4PM IT WILL JUST BE THE TWO OF US. I'm gonna ask him a bunch of questions ahahha

Then he told me "Did I tell you about this Disney+ support story?" I said no, so he said there was this girl who went on the Disney+ support chat. The girl said "My ex boyfriend has access to my Disney+, how do I remove him?" The support guy said to change her password etc. The girl asked, how can she also change her ex BF. The support guy said to find someone who likes Disney then the girl asked "Do you like Disney?", the support guy said yes so the girl gave him her snapchat and they started talking over on SC. I think that was sweet, eh tayo ano satin? 😂

Then at some point, he was sneezing a lot so I go to him "CORONA!!" Then he was just laughing and said "It's just allergies" 😂 Allergic ka tlga yata sakin eh? 😂

I can't remember most of the stuff we had talked about but at some point in the night, he was showing me stuff on his phone that GG sent him, like Star Trek related etc. (AND I THINK HIS PHONE IS A HUAWEI P30 UY MEANT TO BE KAMI). We were side by side most of the time and our arms were bumping into each other alot. He was telling us how he frequented Krystle a lot in college.

Then we just engaged in random conversations with colleagues and when he had to go home, he kinda gave me a wink and said "see you tomorrow" and gave me like a kawaii anime peace sign. ARGH CHAD ANO BA LASING KA BA AT THAT POINT OR WHAT. (ANOTHER MOMENT OF REALISATION: ONE OF MY OLD PUBLIC PROFILE PIC OF ME IS ME WITH A PEACE SIGN UM DID YOU SEE THAT AND STALKED ME? UHM) I was expecting a hug pero personal din nmn ung goodbye nya sakin kaya I am happy din naman. But I am just really sad I didn't get to buy him a drink 😩 We never finished our drinks at the same time so I couldn't have a drink in my hand and then be like "Hey do you want a drink?" Argh

I will really take tomorrow to ask him if he wants Starbucks or something, if it doesn't rain hahah. Then offer him Sour Patch Kids or Nerds 😂 I hope we get to talk about something other than work tomorrow though since the office will be pretty much quiet.

But that being said, the talk of him moving to another team, came up again, because he is part of this UKI initiative and it is something that the office is really considering. I will be very sad when he goes but that's life I guess. He told MF that he wouldn't mind moving teams. MF would just need to organise something for the 3 of us so we can be better friends.

Then in work, I bumped into him at the lockers in the morning and he had a bowl of cereal in his hands, he lifted it up and said "CEREAL" like he was sooo proud of it. ARGH ANG CUTE MO PWEDE BA TAYO NA LNG PLS but I also told him that MF grabbed a cup of cereal and just eating it without milk but he just ignored me argh Chad whyyyy 😭

GG then started singing "Backstreet's back alright!" So I had an inkling to listen to Quit Playing Games With My Heart. CHAD PLS QUIT PLAYING GAMES WITH MY HEART.

Then MF was on the same shift as us and we all left the same time so Chad offered to drop MF home and in my head, I was like "shit. If i didn't go to Crumlin today, then he would have also dropped me home. 😩😩😩" We finished 4.30 but MF and Chad stayed in the car to talk until 5.30 ish. :( May next time pa, okay lang yan 😂 pwede ba while we are on the earlies next week? 😂 I am jealous of their friendship but I just really need to be myself and take more risks with talking to him.

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nepalprojects-blog · 7 years

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Outreach in remote Nepal

I got up at 6.45 today a bit worried that the power bank I borrowed wasn’t fully charged. It ended up full ten min after breakfast. I left to go to the prayer house, to join in with daily devotions on song of songs. At the end of it kwe prayed for each others days needs and then I filled up a water bottle and left. I just got to the corner of the road and there I met Amos and his wife Ruth. Ruth did not waste any time but prayed for me straight away, telling her husband to join in too. To get some appropriate change for the bus to Charabhill I bought some bananas for 40 rupees. Today starts a 24 hour bus ride to sankhuwasabha. I caught the bus to meet Santana at 11am outside medicare hospital. At nearly 2pm we actually get on the bus. I guess that’s how it works here… Wednesday

We had some stunning views from the bus yesterday, but this morning at 6.45 it is still foggy, and not much can be seen. We have been driving all through the night, and I am very impressed with the driver. The road is getting narrower but he navigate the road fast and safe. Which I am glad about, because some of the drops of the road are seriously steep and deep. Strangely, despite the fact that this area is already quite remote, things are a bit more sophisticated and cleaner here somehow. 13.32 and there bus ride has finally finished. We have checked in to a hotel where there is building work going on and Sanata has been apologizing, but to be honest I don’t mind. I just thought we might get the room a bit cheaper. I did expect to be on the bus till evening, so we’re all good. After a quick wash and something to eat we pay a local pastor of Khandbari, the capital of the district Sankhuwasabha, a visit. Just as we finished praying at the local pastors house a thunder and lightning storm started with heavy rain, so we were stuck there, so we just chill out, 5or six of is in a small bedroom that is nothing more than a sturdy timber game classed with tin. His whole house was just a small timber frame cladded with tin really. We waited until the worst of the rain was over and walked back to the hotel. When we got back to the hotel there was no electrical power. The military had dropped a big tree they were moving on the power-line. The next day I woke up early, this morning not because of barking dogs but because of men working on the hotel. It is a building site… Another local pastors has arrived at the hotel to get some instruction on how to use the projector to show the Jesus film. Without power that causes a bit of a delay. Something which is just part of daily live here. Nobody is particularly worried. However, the memory card with the film that is supposed to be in the projector is missing, the pastor that Sanata is training thinks he has the film on his phone but this turns out not to be right either, so sanata has to go out and buy a memory card and call the son of the man we visited last night, he turns up with a PC under his arm, and uses the projects instead of a monitor. At about 10.30 we finally finished breakfast and leave to set out on or journey, which starts with a half hour ride by tuk-tuk to the bus station, where we pay for a 4x4, taking us high up in the hills to our next stop, we ascent by foot deep down the valley, right down across a big river which is starting to swell, On the other side we have to go back up to the top of the next hill. Sanata tells me, a dam in China has broken through, which is why all the workers just came away from the bridge running up the step path. Sita isn’t very well with the walk, so the going is slow and we arrive at the church where we are meant to be, about 2 hours late, and by this time it is very dark. After short introductions, I then end up teaching the pastors of this little church how to set up the projector to show the Jesus film, which has been translated in Nepalese. This is actually a very effective way of sharing the gospel. In the morning that follows, Sanata teaches that church is not a building but people. Where two or more are gathered in my name, there I will be also, Jesus taught. His second subject, was that every believer s should share the gospel with his friends and neighbours. I did not know he wanted to speak about this but the day before he did ask me to share something, and as I considered what to speak about, the Holy spirit put the same subject on my heart , so I shared some of my testimony and shared on the subject. We had some Dahl bat with meat and then we stated or journey for the day, at about 10 am. What should have been a walk of about 5 hours took us most of the day, because Sita can’t keep up, besides on the way we stop by an underground spring where people are washing to share the gospel with somebody, and also to pray for several people and give out medication. I gave Sanata £45 to buy it before we left Katmandu. By the wayning of day which is at about 6 we cross the 4th and last bridge and this one is made of slender trees. The steel bridge that was here before has been destroyed by a swell of the river. I insisted to have a wash in the stream before I carried on the last half an hour of the walk, because I haven’t had a wash for two days and with such hard walking I really need one by now. By the time I finished it is pitch dark and I have to catch up with Sita and Sanata up a very steep climb. I just about manage to find the track by the light of my head torch, but it is well worth the effort for having a wash in a stream. Finally we arrive at Sanata’s parents house,we introduce ourselves have some food, consisting of millet cakes, some sort of root which Sanata’s brother has dug deep out of the ground specially for us, and salty tea. Salty tea is weird yes, but trust me, salty tea is really nice after this long climb. At about 10 we go sound asleep on the hard floor of the little house, well not directly on the floor I have a straw mat and the high honor of a nice rug. The following morning we wake up at about 5.30 the chock has been crowing for a while, and have some more of the strange tea, at about 9am church starts which we reach by walking up another small mountain track. I keep wondering who could possibly have had the strength and time to make these tracks. Most of then are like proper stairs obviously weathered over time, made up of bigger and smaller pieces of rock, but some of the rocks are pretty big. One huge rock actually had steps carved into it. Most of the church service I cannot understand at all again, and Sanata asks me to speak again. This time I explain that God had asked me to return to Nepal because his heart is breaking for the people of Nepal and respond to the situation I experience at hand, and teach that we cannot please God with long prayers and trying to be good Christians or keeping the ten commandments, but that Jesus died for us when we were still enemy’s of God. And that God longs to spend time with us personally and that faith is what pleases him. Sanata follows up by explaining a bit more in detail. The church service is followed by praying for people, handing out some specs and medication to various people, including none believers. Sita has gone back down to Sanata’s mothers house, but me and Sanata have lunch at his sister’s, where I am given a woolen rug that is used for guests to sit on. I am told that if somebody is offered to sit on one of these it is considered a high honour. Back at Sanata’s parents house we have Nettle soup, rice and something else strange to eat. Sunday 23 April Man, live starts early in these parts. Sanata’s mum starts the fire not long after the cock crows. I must say that the cat tried to get me to get up not long before, miauwing and pawing my feet, though for the rest of our stay it completely ignores me, probably as I told it I wasn’t getting up yet, we still lie snoozing for a little while. We have some breakfast of popcorn and black soy beans and some other stuff, I can’t keep asking what I’m eating, and it might be better not to know everything. After about 9am me and Sanata go and share the gospel with some people in the small village adjacent to the one where Sanata himself is from. We end up praying for the mother of a young woman, whom, the night before I asked the challenging question of why she was going to see the witch doctor with a large cock as payment… She already knows that Jesus heals! Now her mother is still badly I’ll with a fever. Before we prayed for her, her temperature was seriously high. I pray for her and for just a second feel the Holy Spirit move. About 5 min after praying for her, Sanata asks me if she has a fever, so I check her temperature again and this time she feels normal. My sceptic mind wonders if i am just imagening things… Sanata shares out some of the spectacles he had been given by a friend, we drink some “mountain dew” which politely I drink. We are given this everywhere we visit. We move on to the next house. Here lies one middle aged man seriously I’ll on his bed. He is drunk too, and by this time I get very grieved at the level of alcohol abuse in this remote place and wonder how they get it here. Anyway, me and Sanata pray for the man and at first nothing happens, then I have a word of knowledge that the man has pain every time food passes his esophagus. I shares this and the man confirms. We continue to pray and then I have a word of knowledge that he has serious trouble on the toilet and pain in his lowers abdomen. He confirms again and we pray. The holy Spirit tells me to give him two of my anti parasite tablets which are delivered to him the next day with clear instructions on how to use. We move on to the next house again and here it becomes clear how they keep up with the demand for alcohol. On a big bamboo mat is spread out a large quantity of millet that is fermenting, and one young woman is stirring it, she then mixes in some yeast and it is all put in a few large sealable drums. I wonder why the woman even bothers. Nearly every bloke here is in some state of drunkenness and by my standards she should be seriously fed up. Because I have asked what they are doing to all the stuff on the mat, I am offered some of this strange brew and I drink some. Partly because of curiosity to the taste, my fear of catching a stomach bug, and felt I felt the Holy Spirit tell me to accept. I would like to add that for the last 22 years I have drank only very occasionally and less than enough to become drunk. Sanata suddenly asks me to teach on the Abuse of alcohol so I share my testimony of how I became a Christian and after that I quite crudely tell them my idea of the general result of alcohol abuse on most or all men, while Sanata translates. We go back to Sanata’s parents house and on the way stop to talk to one man who asks me if it is true that a believer in Jesus will go to heaven when he dies. So I am sharing the gospel with him right down to explaining why there are things like disease and death. So, back to the start where Adam and Eve are created and the beginning if man’s sin. Back at Sanata’s parents house we rest and have some food, Sanata’s parents and brother have great fun by challenging me to eat some toad which turns out to be very, very tasty. I reasoned that after all they only live in water like fish do, so what is the difference? After that we get ray to leave the next day at 7. Sanata had planned to go to another could of villages, but because Sita is not able to do the walking he has cancelled that. We actually end u up leaving at 6.30 which is good because we need all the time we can get for daylight, so we start down the scarily steep ascend back down to the river. And cross the river after a shirt while walking me and Sanata go ahead of Sita, so we can have a good wash in the river Arun. We and or clothes are pretty dirty by this time, not having washed properly for days. By this time the sun is out and it starts to get very hot. When we are petty much finished, Sita crosses the bridge and we have agreed to catch up with her by the next stream after the crossing of the river Equa, so she can freshen up too. On the way back we have out more specs as we go and some basic medicine too. When we get to the stream where we are meant to meet up with Sita however, she is not there but eventually we catch up with her. On the way through the next village we pick up Sita’s bag from one of the local believers there which we had delivered there by the first church we visited on the way, because Sita was not able to carry the weight. After continuing downward for about an hour Sanata sees a 4x4 coming down the him on the other side of the Aqua river and he stress of down the him ahead of us to catch up with it so we can catch a ride back to Khandbari where we book in too a hotel for the night but this time there is no building site noise to same up to the next morning. What a shame!

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mrsvioletrebellious-blog · 7 years

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Another day another dollar

What a week I tell ya. Monday kids are off school up we get up for me to clean the pub I work in and me little soldiers come with me.. Spend three hours deep cleaning and then home for a serious housework cause I tell ya my gaff on a Monday morning is always at its worse I think I must be lazier of a weekend and then Monday morning I look around like wtf 😫😭😫😭😫 go work and then have to come back and tackle it like a modern day cunting Cinderella funny thing is Aswell I have two step sisters but it’s alright they ain’t ugly 😂😂 also have a stepmother but it’s alright she ain’t that wicked. Got no fucking glass slippers and I spose I do have my Prince Charming but he’s more Christian grey then fucking prince darling.. Me and kids do some baking and just have a nice afternoon. They I run round like a loon because the other half is working away in the morning in Cornwall so out first valentines together won’t actually be together. So I jump in the bath, shave the pussy not that it’s hairy but you know satin fresh is the way foward valentines deserves more then day old cunt stubble if you get my drift 😏 throw on some dinner little bit of make up cause I look like me father after a heavy night I’m all crazy hair and fuckin mole eyes.. I swear the Irish within me comes out when I’m hanging I look like a little old Irish man who’s had a few too many whiskys and he's lost his fuckin potatoes and his pot of gold.. Go to throw on something sexy ya know make the old effort and me being the cunt I am still carrying this extra half a stone but in reality between you and me I think it’s more like a stone ( fucking cunty life) every bit of fuckin sauce I got is wacked on and I resemble them cunting potatoes the little old Irish man lost. Want to take a knife and chop half me body off but I’ve never been one to self harm so I slip a little black lace negligee thing on still look like fuckin potato in my eyes but at least potatoes draped in lace rather the potatoes trying to fuckin escape like a fuckin refugee in a freezer Lorry. Look around think I need something else. Ahahhaa 💡 man other day in pub gave me roses will rip them little cunts up n sprinkle em all over the joint give it that little hoe life feeling.. Kids are like “ mummmmmmmmm” have to wrap myself in a dressing gown cause I don’t want them knowing there mothers a whore hoping for cupids arrow right in her sweet spot when they finally wander off to that lovely land of slumber.. Try settle them for bed stroke a few heads sing there favourite songs I look into there beautiful little eyes and think damn you been drinking my Dr Pepper because them eyes don’t tell me sleep is coming at any point this fucking February. Kisses cuddles creep back down the stairs and hope for the best realise fml I have no wine because I don't really drink at home, personal life rule having a brother who's an alcoholic ( recovering yay 😊) but you know what I do have fruit salad catcuss jacks and lemonade, Fuck it he’ll think it’s rosé on site 😂😂😂😂 he arrives laden with smiles and presents I got you tubes top twenty love songs playing on the background like some fucking cunt and I think to myself shit son shoulda just threw on a tracky and ordered the cunt a pizza after he asks me if I’ve run him a bath 😤 but it’s ok the presents were very thoughtful and so me so he’s quickly off the hit list and back in the good books, after a lovely two hours a little bicker starts I don’t even know why we’re both to headstrong and God love him I think he likes on occasion a little yes woman.. Well honey boo boo child please You got more chance of me shitting in my own mouth then being a yes girl 🙌🏻 go to bed no fucking cupids arrow for me both huffing waiting for the other to make it up but were selfish cunts and it don’t happen. 5.30 am alarm goes off I’m woken with a hard penis in my side and an I love you and being the cock hungry little shit I am I’m them legs are in the air getting wished a belated Valentine’s Day 😂😂😂😂 That morning I have to cash up at work because there on an anniversary break, well people have you ever dropped a till with 300+ quid innit all over a 6 by 6 office with more shit innit then a fuckin pound shop when bearing in mind 150 of that fucking money is in change.. I’m playing £300 pick up with pennies whilst me kids are running round the gaff high on the Diet Coke I gave em to keep quiet and I don’t give my kids Coke unless it’s a special occasion and me being the cunt I am thought I need them happy and amused I declare this Tuesday morning a special occasion, half hour in ones rolling Bladeing round the place and ones calling my name like a parrot on speed. Text the mother come and save me. She’s hanging out her arsehole fml. I’ll be there in an hour how dare she be so selfish and have a life 😂😂😂🔫 service is resumed at work mother arrives take the kids out get my purse and my mothers raped by the little delights. There happy and smiling and laden with new toys... home more mother duties more house duties and then I spend my Valentine's Day on the sofa in a tracksuit eating chocolate cornflake cakes and contemplating life and adding more crap for the kids in one of my million shopping app baskets 😬 Wednesday follows through myself and the mother unite again and treat ourselves and the children to a chicken George 😍😍😍 and then some how I find myself in tesco Carpark with a jet wash in the rain cleaning her fucking motor whilst her and the little darlings are sat in the car dry and warm pissing emselves and making videos of me #Bastards...work that night someone asks how my valentines went explain he works away most of the time " oh that must be hard" yea I miss him but seriously as a woman when a man is home he fucks up the routine of life ya know.. Housework is done less, chores are done less and because there off they wanna spend time with you and as I've said before I'm not in the shitting in unison stage yet so he's giving it all the whole I love you baby I love you being home and I'm like yea baby I love you too but right now I got the shakes I need to shit and you are in my orbit, GET OUTTTTTT 😂😂😂 I need time my friend time you know this bald pussy you like so much she doesn't get bald on her own ya know I need to have a bath a timely bath, beautify myself and when your here I'm rushing one has to be careful or next thing Ill know the razors slipped and I've lost a fuckin lip in narm mate, narm being the bath and me being the wounded little soilder, I'm telling this tale of my sweet life and there laughing away and I'm like I'm not trying to be funny I love him I love his company but I ain't a glue stick I actually enjoy my own company so when he's fucked off to work for a few days yea it's sad and long distance can be hard but hey at least I can shit in peace. Shave me cunt, wash up in time and walk round in a tracksuit with me hair piled up in leave in conditioner and clean me ear holes without a fuckin audience if you get me drift 😏 so at work last night someone bought me a drink and I thought obviously I’ll say yes, but decided to have a double vodka and that’s where shit creek started, one turned into about ten. And I’m working away, feeling fine me and Micheal ( a fabulous gay man) are winning at life, doing the quiz and I tell ya that man is a little box of knowledge and obviously I’m not too bad 😏 but he is a wise old owl, were also guessing a few answers and literally shitting our fuckin knickers in joy when we find out we are infact correct ! Anyway turns out were joint first and the other team got the closest answer on the deciding question, so we came second, but hey the fuck Ho we got bought a drink from the gracious winners so one cannot complain, fast foward a few hours the pub is empty we sat there waffling shit, Michaels pouring extra vodka in my glass and putting on my tab the fucker 😂😂 finally realise we need to go home. Get outside side hits me think ohh I’m a little tipsy, home and sleep… Well fuck my arse sideways when I opened my eyes this morning to my fuckin boyfriend calling me at 7.43, 7 fucking 43 bitch please, The diva had a sleepover with her nanny and the boys stayed with there dad last night and there all back at lunchtime I ain’t due in work till ten so why the fuck do you call me.. Anyway we get through the morning pleasantries. Say goodbye for now I soilder on with getting ready to work, pretty much trying to polish a shit. Well it ain’t fuckin working Isit son so off I go looking like death. I swear on my fucking life the minute the air hit me it was like a fucking sledge hammer of karma #NotOnASchoolNight 😩, take a un leisurely stroll to work and rush for a shit, go in the disabled and I swear to god it was like a man dressed as a vodka bottle had climbed into my stomach and died and I just shat out his fucking remains, the absolute pungent smell of my arse mixed with my hangover made me come to the quick conclusion that I did infact need to be fucking sick! Well I cant be fucking sick here I cant shove my face where my arsehole just emptied wether or not the chain has flushed I just cannot face plant my own arse, so I run to the ladies shove my fingers down my throat and proceed to chuck up all them lovely double vodkas. Now listen here carefully I do my motherfucking pelvic floor I do not piss when I sneeze laugh or cough, but at that point I thought fuck I need a piss whilst now not being able to stop the sick coming out of me and had the glorious moment of not being able to stop myself letting abit of wee out 😫😫😫 it was science everything was coming out and I just couldn’t hold it in, it’s ok it’s ok. Thou shall not judge it was only a splash but I say there on the floor contemplating life thinking I’ve just shat for England in there, I’m now chucking in here and I’ve let some piss out its Thursday morning you cunt you’ve got to clean the pub get ya kids back go home bake cakes n shit, entertain the tribe do housework keep everyone happy n that get ya arse back to work later as your working tonight. And fuck 29 years of age on a Thursday morning and a few double vodkas got me in this state every fucking orrifice screaming fuck you In my ear holes. Got on with my job painfully went home with my darlings and my daughter decided to do my make up I so kindly accepted this glorious task because I thought ohhhhh shut eye for ten mins 👍🏻 #Winning Forgetting said child has an issue with over used bronzer, safe to say today it was me looking like mr T.. Do dinner have dinner with my little darlings. Mother arrives to watch them for me and off I go to work. I get in someone demands I have a drink but seriously the actual thought of drinking alcohol is just too soon for me I remember myself pissing shitting n puking only ten foot away 8 hours before n think naaaaa mate.. Mother calls the wee one has been sick I run home he’s ok bless him, chesty cough and made him sick because of the flem, he’s now sleeping away so off I go back to work U know by this point I tell ya I been on my feet all day. I hurt deep, even my calfs hurt I feel fuckin 75 I tell ya, back to work for a few hours, playing the dutiful bar maid, and come 9.45 call comes again he wants his mummy and obviously. My children come before anything else so goodbye work and home I go. Sorted the boy, bless his little cottons. Had a lovely convo with my big boy who is wildly intelligent and clued up its scary. Discussing his birthday and the £600 list he has wrote me 😩🔫 seriously I think this boy thinks I work at the palace and not the local watering hole. But hey ho I’ve made a rod for me own back with that one. I do spoil my kids 🙌🏻 hands are held up. I try to get everything on the list I try to make sure they have everything. I do not always succeed and then I beat myself and feel like a shit mother and then I give em everything they want then there little brats and I beat myself up and feel like a shit mother 🙄 Fucking circle of life I tell ya.. Tomo night myself and the mr are meant to be staying in a hotel and going for dinner to celebrate Valentine's Day and re connect after he's been away for four days. So 11.15 I get in the bath at some point between 11.15 and 11.18 my hot water decided to stop flowing and rather the no N back down stairs because I don't think I'll drag myself back up I think fuck it I'll wing it.. Getting in a foot high like warm tub at gone 11.00 trying to shave me gash legs n pits n wash the fuckin main is painful.. Climb into bed and lay here contemplating my impending day. Work at 10 I know on the walk there with a bag of the kids stuff one in her heels because she's god damn obsessed and one glued to a phone the little one will decided his legs don't work like they used to before and walkings for losers so I'll be carrying him. I'll clean there pub. There dad as per will be late to collect them. I'll then go home do all the housework too make life easier for me when I get back and have that painful moment of deciding what to wear and you know potato life is gonna rear its ugly head again and I'll be there contemplating giving me self liposuction using and old McDonalds straw and a Hoover 🤔 then I've gotta send out a beg sorry for someone to drop me in mk because we'll meet eachover there as he's driving back from Cornwall.. But I know when I get in that hotel he can take his time because Julia Roberts in pretty woman is reincarnating my friend as this little bastard and I'm gonna be in that bath head phones in singing some tunes resembling a cat getting skewered and thinking about what I can eat when we go out and won't be thinking for any longer then half a second " what's low fat to eat" and get ready there, dress the potatoes, greet him with an energetic smile and hopefully a beautified version of myself so I sense my day. But fuck it right, fuck itttttt... Life knackering, life a chore, but life is amazing especially when your stood admiring the world thinking me feet hurt, me toenails ain't painted I can't find me over night bag, the kids are going to there dads so I need to remember not to check up every half hour, I'm skint I'm fat and I've just come on my fuckin period the day before a fuckin hotel trip (note to self hunt down them tablets that stop you bleeding n pray for he best luv) But then I think I have three amazingly beautiful children who amaze me daily and make me so proud to be there mother, a man who loves me, my brother is living a dry life, my mums as beautiful and wild as ever, me fathers are alive and well, I've got a full belly a roof over me head and I'm breathing ! So you can't really fucking moan can ya!! #HaveAllINeed #weeklife #halfterm #work

#mummy blogger #queens #womanhood #real life #love #real #brutally honest #family #Valentines

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