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ninjago-bingo · 3 years

Text

final month recap

wow, everyone. we’re here. we’ve made it. we’re reached the end of our bingo time, and i’m absolutely floored by the sheer creative output that i’ve seen over these last four months. everyone, take a moment to give yourself a pat on the back!!! no matter if you made 1 piece or 10, there’s now a work of art out there in the world that wasn’t there before. and truly, that’s super heccing rad no matter how you look at it.

so let’s celebrate! for this recap, we have a total of 20 new pieces, bringing the total amount of ninbingo pieces up to 50. in the span of four months, this little event has created 50 individual works (five of them in the last day!) holy cow ya’ll.

i’m putting out this recap now, but don’t worry, it’s not the end yet! any submissions made to the end of the 30th still count and this post will be updated accordingly :D

fic:

all the things i’ve never done by @sa-you-na-ra. tumblr || prompts: competition and teasing

It’s always a funny thing when the ninja realize new things about each other. Even though living with each other meant they had to see each other all day, there were still small habits or actions that amused the others.

(mod comments: all these little interactions made me smile so much :D looking forward to the rest!)

error 404: answer not found by @m-aster-of-spinjitzu. tumblr || prompt: memories

Akita and Zane talk after the battle in ‘Awakenings’. The conversation… doesn’t go as either of them expect.

(mod comments: the nuances in this fic are fantastic! also Akita is always a win :D)

Five times kai was a good brother by @/master-of-fluff. tumblr || ao3 || prompts: nightmare and brother

I'm writing kai centric stuff again.

(mod comments: kai IS the big bro of the team!!! i support him all the way!!)

How Garmadon became a chauffeur by @master-of-fluff. tumblr || ao3 || prompt: driving

"um...Kai? Don't you think we should go Slower?" Garmadon asked nervously trying not to panick as they raced down the road at what had to be over the speed limit.

(mod comments: who let Kai drive? no but honestly this is canon alskdfj)

little things by @/rosiehunterwolf. tumblr || ao3 || ffn.net || prompts: hugs and crying.

"Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you'll look back and realize they were the big things." -Kurt Vonnegut

Lloyd’s tired of being left behind. How is he meant to be the green ninja when he always has to work harder, train better, and wait longer to go on missions with his team? He wants nothing more than to be their equal.

At least, that’s what he thought he wanted.

(mod comments: a post-ep-18 resolution scene? SIGN ME UP!)

Neither Snow Nor Rain by @fangirltakesall. tumblr || ffn.net || prompt: post-fight

After their return from the Never Realm and all its troubles, Zane is quiet and Nya is incredibly worried. A call to action to a peculiar sort of battle might be enough to change both of those things.

(mod comments: the concept of these two on their own mission together is just so good! excited to see how their dynamic plays out!!)

Never Put Off Until Tomorrow by @/rosiehunterwolf. tumblr || ao3 || ffn.net || prompts: video games and chores

…what can be done today, yada, yada, yada, we all know the saying. So do the ninja- when Master Wu is drilling it into their heads every minute of every day, it’s kind of hard to forget.

Naturally, it only takes them a week (and the biggest new video game in Ninjago) to do so.

(mod comments: this is so in character that it’s frustrating lol. also Pixal ftw!!)

oh take me back to the start by @/rosiehunterwolf. tumblr || ao3 || ffn.net || prompts: comfort and 3 am

The past should be left in the past. Or, at least, that’s what Jay keeps telling himself. Nadakhan is gone. It’s not logical to still be afraid. But he is, and now everything that he left behind suddenly feels like it’s never going to be the same again.

Cole isn’t so convinced.

(mod comments: Cole is truly the man we all deserve in our lives.)

On Our Own by @redefine-your-identity. tumblr || prompt: home

It’s been a few weeks since Kai and Nya’s parents disappeared without a trace. Needless to say, they’re struggling.

(mod comments: OU C H no poor babies 😭 the relationship dynamic here is great!)

orange and gold by @/m-aster-of-spinjitzu. tumblr || prompt: cooking

...I just need more Cole and Vania content, they seem like they'd be great friends.

Basically it's just 'Cole goes to visit her there, they almost burn down the kitchen, and make way too many puns', lol.

(mod comments: I also always need more Vania content!! the puns in this were breadful!)

permafrost by @/rosiehunterwolf. tumblr || ao3 || ffn.net || prompts: loss of control and promise

It’s not like this is the first time this has happened. It’s not like none of his teammates have ever suffered this kind of guilt and pain. It’s not like Zane himself hasn’t walked through hell before and come out the other side (mostly) in once piece.

Except, this time, it is. It shouldn’t be different, but it is.

(mod comments: super sweet moment between two ninja who deserve more interaction like seriously!!)

Precautionary Tale by @/fangirltakesall. tumblr || ffn.net || prompt: protective

Fighting is different now, and Zane doesn't know why. Yes, he is titanium now, but why should that change anything? It seems to be changing everything, although is all really as it seems?

(mod comments: a great start to a zane-centric fic! interested to see where it goes next :D)

Star-Ninja! by @rosiehunterwolf. tumblr || ao3 || ffn.net || prompts: siblings and competition

What happens when the loveable gremlin the ninja adopted off of the streets introduces them to Starfarer comics?

Chaos ensues, of course.

stuck with you (through bright and blue) by @/rosiehunterwolf. tumblr || ao3 || ffn.net || prompt: protective

Kai only wants two things: to protect Lloyd, and to give him the best birthday ever. Unfortunately, Lloyd seems hell-bent on making that as difficult as possible. Kai’s always prided himself on achieving the impossible, but dealing with human emotions is much more complicated than beating up Garmadon’s generals or shooting enemies with fire, as he quickly learns. Movie!verse

(mod comments: happy birthday lloyd!! look at him getting the love he deserves uwu)

Take a walk in the rain. by @/master-of-fluff. tumblr || ao3 || prompt: rain

Cole had always loved the rain, the way it smelled, the way it felt on his skin, and especially the mud! Whenever it rained his Mother would put on his rain coat and boots And they'd both go out and splash around in the puddles and make mud cakes and do all sorts of things.

(mod comments: this fic made me smile a lot :D loved the way it was arranged!)

the hues of an empty sky by @/m-aster-of-spinjitzu. tumblr || prompt: crying

Missing memories, or having two of them for one moment - not quite the same, but if there’s one thing Jay’s leant over the last few weeks, it’s that literally nothing makes sense anymore.

Or, some Skybound aftermath, Zane actually expressing emotions about his memory switch being turned off for all those years, and what was supposed to be a ‘they tell everyone about the erased timeline’ fic, but it turned into a 'two characters who barely interact on screen talk at like one am in the morning, and don’t actually tell the other what exactly they’re alluding to the whole time’ fic that I wrote at like one am-

(mod comments: Skybound resolution? SIGN ME THE HECK UP YES)

The Make-Cole-Realize-How-Much-We-Love-Him Competition by @21st-century-ninja. tumblr || ao3 || prompts: bets and competition

Jay and Kai share a horrified look. “He really doesn’t get it,” Jay says.

Kai shakes his head. “We need to show him somehow.”

“Show me what?” Cole asks, exasperated again.

“How much we love you!” Kai exclaims. “Somehow, it’s not getting through your thick skull that we want to sit next to you because you’re you, so I’m gonna have to just prove it to you.”

(mod comments: a silly little movie fic!)

twitter was a mistake by @/21st-century-ninja. tumblr || ao3 || prompts: teasing and birthday

Kai 🔥 @flaminhotninja ☑

so who was gonna tell me that Jay used to be a game show host huh

🌺✨ the Gift of Jay ✨🌺 @zaptrap ☑

Replying to @flaminhotninja

NO WHO SHOWED YOU

(mod comments: twitter was a mistake)

two halves of a broken whole by @/rosiehunterwolf. tumblr || ao3 || ffn.net || prompts: scars and post-fight

The Sons of Garmadon have been defeated. Garmadon is in prison. The city has been saved.

In the aftermath of the battle, Nya is more than ready to take a much-needed break. But the life of a ninja is messy. Recovery is never that simple. Although the wounds may have healed, the scars still remain.

Zane’s scars seem to match up, though. And maybe together, they can begin to heal.

(mod comments: aggressive care is my jam, and this is it!)

wait by @rosiehunterwolf. tumblr || ao3 || ffn.net || prompts: home and memories

Lloyd’s not so great at being patient. It’s not his fault though- maybe he would be better at it if waiting didn’t always end up being so disappointing- if people actually kept their promises. But this time’s going to be different, he knows it. His father will come back for him. And Lloyd’s going to wait.

As long as it takes.

(mod comments: baby. baby boy. baby. protecc him plz.)

#ninbingo #recap #long post #but i don't want to hide anyone's work yk #ninjago #ninjago fic

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scandeniall · 4 years

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no limit to you

pairing: sakusa kiyoomi x reader

summary: “Knew right from the start there was no limit to you.” sakusa’s gonna go far and you know it. a look at your relationship throughout some months. (Started out based on Feels by Kehlani but yeah that went left)

warnings: profanity, starts as college students, manga spoilers about career. implied sex, little bit of angst but for like 10 seconds.

wc: 5.4k holy shit this took me all week

Dating Sakusa Kiyoomi: Year 2, month 6

“He is the Black Jackals big and promising rookie,” Your heart couldn’t help but swell with pride as the speaker's voice carried across the gym (?). Despite the less theatrical introductions awarded to MSBY you couldn’t help but cheer loudly even yelling out the stupid nickname given to Sakusa by his teammates. One that he insists that he hates. “Go, omi-omi!” To anyone else it’d just look like another stale glance at the speaker, but you didn’t miss the tiniest of smile that graces his face.

It’s his time to shine and you’re by his side to witness it all. — Dating Sakusa Kiyoomi: Month 3

The sound of rain pounding against the building mixed with the sound of landing volleyballs and squeaking shoes. The men’s volleyball practice is approaching hour 3 and despite Sakusa insisting that you could have just headed back to your apartment you were there anyways. One reason for it was because you knew with him living so close he didn’t drive to campus and despite his tendencies for cleanliness, that’d he’d swallow his pride enough to catch a ride with one of his teammates to avoid the torrential downpour. You figured he’d at least appreciate a ride from you, whose car he knew was relatively clean instead (clean mostly because he always made cleaning and disinfecting your car a “couple activity” every weekend). Another reason was simply because you missed him and was ready to propose getting dinner together. Waiting for him wasn’t a problem anyways, the row of tables overlooking the gym were quite spacious and you utilized the time to get some procrastinated work done. As your small break and time spent switching between the same 3 apps comes to an end you pull up your Snapchat one last time the camera zooming in on sakusa for a few seconds with the caption “a superstar”. You knew Sakusa would frown and scold you for it later (the guy hates being put on stupid Snapchat), but also knew he secretly like when you showed how proud you were. The man was truly destined for greatness and you knew there were no limits to how far he could go. Of course with the relative newness of your relationship, you’ve never told him that. After one last check to make sure the video posts, music flows back into your ears as you began the last hour stretch. “You could’ve gone home you know.” Was the first thing you heard the second the dark haired male sat in the chair in front of you. Plucking your earbuds out all you could do was shrug. “Now is that anyway to greet your cinnamon apple,” you laughed at the displeased look on his face, or more so in his eyes. He must've put his mask on before leaving the locker room. Sakusa was never really one for nicknames and whenever you’d call yourself something from a vine from a thousand years ago he couldn’t hide the scowl on his face.

“All done for the day?” At his nod of assurance you start packing up your bag as Sakusa just watched. He cringed at how you chaotically just packed your papers and laptop into your bag. No folders, or even a ouch for writing utensils. He’d have to get you one. As you finished picking up and fished your keys out of your bag’s pocket you notice Sakusa pull his mask down as he crossed to step in front of you. Placing a quick kiss on your lips, “thank you for waiting.” — Tap. Tap. Tap. Click. Tap. The sounds of scribbling mixed alongside flipped pages and the soft conversations of fellow library goers. The words of the textbook in front of you were beginning to look like gibberish and with that cane even more unconscious fiddling of your pen, a fact not lost on your boyfriend. The sound being so close and frequent broke him out of his own focus bubble. When you insisted the two of you have a study date, you were unsurprisingly met with the excuse of neither of you having the same major. “It doesn’t matter, we can just sit in the library. It’s spending quality time together Kiyoomi,” you’d told him. And it was true, sort of. After you’d finally got into the groove of studying, time seemed to fly and just knowing he was there was comforting enough. “(Y/N). You’re distracting me.” Sakusa was too blunt for his own good sometimes. All you could offer was a mumbled half assed apology, watching as he attempted to focus on his work again. You however? Were done for the time being, deciding to preoccupy yourself with your phone and taking not so sneaky glances at the man sitting in front of you.

“If you paid as much attention to your work as you did me, you’d be doing better in that class.” Maybe he had a point, but who cared. It's not like you were failing the course. Taking another glace up you manage to catch his eye before responding.

“But you're prettier.”

Dating Sakusa Kiyoomi: Month 7

You felt the dip in the bed first. A warm hand resting softly on your back next. Finally your favorite person’s voice. “You're coming to the game right.” You were so tired that you couldn't even be bothered to turn and face the voice.

“Of course. First home game in a while,” you hum out, eyes still closed basking in the softness of the blanket. The weather had been terrible for the past week, completely draining any energy and remaining motivation you had to finish the rest of the semester. Sakusa, on the other hand, had seemingly been unaffected and you envied his tunnel vision like nature. “I can’t wait to see you win y’know.” Sakusa thanked his lucky stars, that your eyes were still closed, because if not you may have seen the red that dusted the tops of his ears. You could hear the sound of hangars knocking in the closet before inquiring about the noise.

“You don’t have a clean jersey for tomorrow’s game right.” He knew that you had a general school fan jersey, but he meant something more specific. One with his number on the back.

“Nothing is guaranteed. The other team is pretty good too.”

“Yeah well, you're better.” --

Dating Sakusa Kiyoomi: Year 1 If you heard one last critiquing remark from your boyfriend you were going to scream. Or kill him, which currently sounded like the better option. It started with him telling you your kitchen smelled weird, the food cooked hours earlier obviously not Sakusa approved. Next came him cringing as he inquired when was the last time you or roommate had vacuumed the living room. Then came his annoyed look when he noticed your skincare products all over the bathroom counter because you had to rush out this morning. The last straw came as he said something about you getting germs all over your face as you dug the palms of your hands into your eyes. While that one had some validity you were fucking tired. School was sucking, your coworkers are annoying and your boyfriend is a fucking dick. “Can you not try to not be a germaphobe asshole for two seconds, Sakusa,” you exclaim, not even bothering to face him from your spot at your desk. “Do better with cleaning then.”

“What are you, my dad.”

“If I were, you’d know how to clean up properly.”

It was official. Sakusa, Kiyoomi fucking sucks. The tension in the air had grown. Between your pissed stress related retorts and sakusa’s stupid passive aggressive insults the two of you had navigated far away from just arguing about germs. You’d both begun bringing up past situations and feelings that you’d both previously kept buried.

“Half the time I don’t even know if you fucking like me.” That was a lie. He cared and you knew it. But former insecurities paired with his generally aloof nature whenever the two of you were in public caused you to mention it. Insecurties concerning how he was on his way to something great, and that he’d leave you behind with a stupid college degree that you didn’t even know how you were going to use. You’d long abandoned your desk chair, opting to pace around the room. If his eyes were knives, you’d be long dead with the way he was glaring. You hadn’t noticed, but Sakusa even pulled his mask down to engage in this argument.

“Well thats just stupid. But since you're bringing it up, do you even like me,” Sakusa sneered causing you to stop in place.“You’re going out an awful lot these days. Partying more than you used to, aren’t you.” Your state of disbelief hadn’t been lost on him, in fact you looked as if you were going to start laughing at any moment. The way he condescendingly spoke your name sent chills down your spine. “Can’t help but wonder what you’re doing.”

“Oh so now I’m cheating-.”

“I’m just pointing out what I’ve noticed.” He’d hit the realization that he messed up the second the insinuation left his lips. However, he was too far in and so were you. He’d have to make it up to you later, he began to think. Until your humourless laugh filled the air, striking a cord in him, bigger than you’d ever done. This entire night you’d been a ticking time bomb, and were ready to explode.

“Now why the fuck, would I put up with you if I didn’t love you. A year of my life just wasted huh.” The revelation of your love causes Sakusa to pause. Of course the two of you loved one another. It was shown in the little actions. But, until now neither of you had ever uttered the three words to one another.

“(Y/N-)”

“Newsflash, Kiyoomi, you're not an easy person to love. You nag me about shit that only bothers you, and I put up with it. I can’t even come around you with mismatched socks”

“You never want to go out to any kind of party with me and I want you there, yet I’m always willing to go out when you have to with the team.”

“You barely even show that you like me in public. I’ve had friends ask me are we even really dating.”

The end of your rant was accompanied by silence on both of your ends. You were drained. Your throat hurt and your eyes stung. But more importantly your heart ached. Despite the tears building at the back of your eyes you were not going to give him the satisfaction of seeing you cry. Sakusa on the other hand was deep in thought. The tug on his heartstrings at your admittance was foreign. He didn’t want to say anything to further upset you, and had gotten to know you enough to know you’d want to be alone after a time like this.

The hand that grabbed yours almost felt foreign as Sakusa led you towards your bed. The already long day ending with a quick kiss against your temple, a promise to see you later, and an aching heart.

“Did you and Sakusa- like break up or something,” your friend inquired. It's been 9 days since you’d last heard from Sakusa, and your mopey mood hadn’t gone unnoticed by your friends. On top of you being unusually downcast they noticed that you hadn’t attended the most recent match. You always went to home games. You already had to deal with the aftermath of your roommate being home and hearing your argument that night, you hadn’t exactly been that quiet during the ordeal.

The next morning marked the start of the weekend, which you’d spent a large part of the day in bed. In the middle of you bothering to fix dinner, your roommate had come home interrupting your pity party. You liked your roommate, you did and the two of you were friendly. But the two of you definitely were not best friends and for them to come home and see you for the first time post argument- awkward.

“Yo- (Y/N), did you hear me? You and Sakusa break up or something,” your friend repeated, breaking you out of your wandering thoughts. “Or something,” you muttered bitterly. The lunch in front of you suddenly looked unappealing. The melting ice cubes floating in your drink taking away your attention.

Just as you began to take your mind off Sakusa in preparation to try and have a relatively normal weekend, your friend just had to bring him up. You loved her, but she was a dumbass for that one. Your entire car ride home you turned on your breakup playlist one you’d made during the demise of your last relationship back in highschool. Something about Miley Cyrus’ 7 Things felt more relatable than ever now that you were older.

Entering your apartment, you waved a greeting to your roommate who looked strangely happy. “Oh (Y/N), you’ve got a gift.” Ok- why the hell was she so cheery about a gift to you. Eying her suspiciously, your roommate pointed past you and your eyes widened.

“Who-”

“Who do you think? Dropped them off a little over an hour ago. Looked disappointed when he realized you weren’t here.”

You half mumbled something kin of appreciation for telling you as you walked toward the kitchen table to see a bouquet of roses, and a card with neatly scribbled handwriting you recognized immediately.

“One rose for every month of putting up with me being a germophobic asshole. Google also said roses meant love. Hope you like them.

P.s: i missed you at the game (and in general)”

14 roses. He even included the two months where you teetered the line between friends and partners. You couldn’t help but laugh at his use of your word choice to describe him. You hadn’t even noticed your roommate peering over your shoulder until she spoke. “He means well. You two should work it out.” If you weren’t planning to before you sure as hell were going to now. “Yeah,” you mused. “You're right.

The gears in your head were absolutely turning, thinking about how you’d reach back out to Sakusa. Obviously he’d been the bigger person and made the first contact, and yeah he was definitely being a jerk that night, but so were you. You were so caught in your own thoughts as you made your way down the short hallway to your room that you hadn’t even noticed the slight rustling. Opening your door you were met with an even bigger surprise.

Sakusa. In your room, gloved up, vacuum out-He was cleaning? Your room?. Your brain short circuits as you were at a loss for words.

“Kiyoomi?” The sound of your roommate teasing telling you two to keep it down went beyond your span of comprehension as you just stood in the doorway. “You should close the door.

---

After you got past the initial shock of seeing Sakusa, he’d taken his gloves off and sat on your bed wordlessly patting the spot next to him. After a brief moment of silence you were the first one to speak. Afterall, he did take the first step at mending your relationship. Now it's your turn. “I’m sorry Kiyoomi. For snapping at you, questioning how you felt when I knew better. I was a bitch for that one.

“I’m sorry. I was wrong. I knew how stressed you were already and made it worse. I know how you get when you're upset, and came to straighten up for you.”

“Thanks for that one. I’ll admit, it was starting to bother me too.” A silence filled the air as you shifted closer. Enough so that you could rest your head on his shoulder.

“I know you’re not cheating on me-“

“Wow, how did you figure that out. You are SO smart,” you faked gasped. The teasing comment released any lingering tension between you and before you knew it Sakusa had his normal frowny face at you. The one he tended to get when you jokingly teased or annoyed him. One, never meant with any malice. A softer one reserved just for you. The moment passed quickly and as you removed your head from his shoulder you eyed him seriously. “I wouldn't do that Yoomi. You know that right?”

The thought of him even thinking you’d ever cheat on him didn’t sit right with you. In fact, it had been the main reason you were upset. You could work past anything else said. But that one? You needed to acknowledge it. Your question had been answered when you felt a hand gently rest on the side of your neck pulling you gently towards him. You were so close that you could feel the move of his lips as he reaffirmed what was already known. “I love you too (Y/N). The universe seemed to stop as Sakusa's lips moved softly against yours. you had moved your lingering hand to wrap around the wrist touching you, rubbing gentle circles on his inner wrist. A hold that unconsciously tightens as you felt his tongue languidly slip into your mouth and explore.This kiss was different than any you’d ever shared before. Different from the quick kisses shared when you’d two part ways at the end of dates. Different than the domineering good luck kisses given in quiet hallways outside the locker room before games. Than the tired kisses he’d reluctantly give because your tired whining grated his nerves. Hell, even different than the kisses shared the first time you two had sex. Those were just awkward. This kiss? Was loving. You two loved one another. Those feelings had been made more than clear to the other person. The universe always told you that falling in love too fast and too young would end in disaster. But you’d risk that if you could feel like this everyday.

The need for air forced the two of you to pull away. In that time Sakusa had shifted the two of you so that he was resting against the headboard of your bed, your knees resting on the side of his knees. One hand on your thigh, other resting on your back. He looked so pretty like that. Puffy lips, heavily breathing, and with so much love for you. There was no doubt you looked the same. The rest of his forehead on your shoulder allowed you to gently play with his hair.

“I’ll work on the other things too. But don’t expect me to take care of your drunk ass every weekend.”

Dating Sakusa Kiyoomi: Year 1, Month 10

“How’s it going Mr MVP.” You pushed your body off the chilled brick, as you eyed your boyfriend up and down. He looked good, really good. He’d just finished the last game of his collegiate career, one that had been won. Not only that, but he had been named MVP and a rookie to look out for going into Division 1 post graduation.

You shifted your hands towards his face but before you could even rest them near you he stopped you with a mini hand sanitizer dangling in your face. “I’m sure you touched that brick while waiting.” After your hands were as sanitized as they could be, you hovered your hands over the corner of his mask, silently asking for permission to lower it. Once you got the go ahead, and felt his hands resting on your hips you pulled him down for a sweet kiss. After pulling away you left your hands wrapped around his neck and began playing with the hairs at the back of his neck.

“You’re a fucking superstar Yoomi. You’re gonna go so far.” You revealed the thoughts that had been in the back of your mind since you met him. And it was true. You knew he’d been looking at a few professional teams, and no matter where he’d go the sky was the limit.

“Now c’mon. It’s party time babe. Last college win celebration,” you cheered pressing a quick kiss to his cheek, and pulling his mask back out. You followed up by reaching into the pocket of his track jacket to pull out his car key. He kept true with his promise of getting better. Still hated unnecessary crowds, but was willing to sacrifice it occasionally to accompany you to celebratory parties. Granted he tended to hang out on less populated hallways, even better when parties continued outside. More space to move. The mask also stayed on. College kids are gross.

—-

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you noticed your boyfriend move from his spot on the couch. The two of you had decided on a lazy movie night before the official finals grind began. Dead week was nearly here, and you knew the two of you would have little time to actually hang out. With the end of volleyball season, you’d been spending more time at Sakusa’s place deciding to just head there after class because it was closer. “Yoomi where are you going,” the wording came out more needed than you intended. You didn’t receive an answer, instead met with him disappearing in his room. You decided to just pause the movie, pulling out your phone to reply to a few text messages. Just as you hit send a Manila envelope was placed in your peripheral and Sakusa settled back into his corner of the couch.

“What’s this,” you questioned, shifting so that you were looking at Sakusa. The only thing you were gifted with was a shrug and a motion to open the envelope. You hesitated a moment before your eyes widened

“Wait. Kiyoomi is this…”. The confident smirk told you everything you needed to know. This was it. There was no secret that Sakusa was most likely going to go pro after graduation, but no one knew what team he’d end up playing for. He’d had many people; Professors, coaches,teammates, acquaintances, parents ask what he planned on doing now that graduation was essentially on your doorsteps. No one ever got an answer out of him, including you. He hadn’t even hinted at any team preference to you, brushing it off and changing the subject whenever you tried to see where his head was.

“Are you gonna open it or just stare.” You noted the slight waver in his voice, one that would have gone unnoticed to any ear untrained in the study of Sakusa Kiyoomi. You didn’t even know why you were so nervous, it wasn’t even your career. Taking a deep breath you pulled out the stack of papers, eyes drifting to the first paragraph mumbling the words aloud.

“We are excited to have you. We welcome your commitment to MSBY Black Jackals-“ you would have dropped the stack of papers had you not had them tugged out of your tight grip and placed on the table in front of you. “Holy shit,” you exclaimed, launching yourself at your boyfriend (uncomfortably knocking him against the corner of the couch, but he’d let you have this moment.)

Next you started babbling about how proud you were of him in between kisses all over his face. (Another thing he’d let you have for the moment despite the feel of your lip balm also sticking onto his face”). You were so happy for him, that you didn’t even notice the blush making its way on his face. His hand settling themselves on your waist, he basked in the attention from you.

When the shock managed to wear off, you had settled yourself into his lap. Sitting sideways, you had one hand playing with his hair, the other picking up your phone to record a video.

“And today, we have the greatest volleyball player in the world commuting to the greatest team in the world,” you beamed the front camera on you both.

“Look at that future (Y/N), Yoomi isn’t even swatting the camera away tonight. Looks like he looooooves me for once-“

“I always love you. You’re just annoying sometimes.” The jest was meant with a light kiss on your clothed shoulder before you continued, this time facing Sakusa instead of the camera

“Y’know. I knew right from the start there was no limit to you,” you spoke softly, eyes beaming.

“Is that so.” A real smile graced his face, as you moved the hand previously playing with his hair to gently trace over the moles on his face. “Thank you for believing.” You felt Sakusa take your phone from you cutting the camera. What took place after, definitely didn’t need to be caught on camera.

—

The sun is beaming. The weather is incredible . You were high on happiness, adrenaline, pride and maybe a little bit of caffeine as you currently posed for what felt like your millionth picture in the past 5 minutes. You hadn’t even found your family yet, surrounded by 100s of your peers all celebrating the same accomplishment. You did it. You were a college graduate. You had a degree. You felt another tap on your shoulder, as you happily screamed to your friend you’d made being in the same program.

“Dude I can't believe it!”

“Dude me either!” As the two of you took a quick selfie, your mind wandered to where and how Sakusa was doing. You hadn't seen him at all yet considering you both spent the mornings with your families who came into town. You wondered how he was doing with this whole thing. There were a shit ton of people out here after all. Before you could dwell on it, you felt your phone vibrate with none other than the man himself. You chuckled, already sending his irritation through the message as he told you to come to walk west, at the very edge of the crowd that was growing by the minute in the center. You sent a quick text to your mom about where you’d be, knowing your family were going to want a ton of pictures even with Sakusa.

Your excitement grew further if even possible as you finally found him, throwing your arms around his neck into a tight hug, swaying the both of you. “We did it, Sakusa,” you said, finally pulling away and eying him. He’d taken his cap off already, opting for holding it instead, and having unzipped his gown.

“We have degrees now,” he confirmed using his free hand to grab yours. “It’s too many people here.” All you could do was laugh as you eyed the control chaos going on just across the courtyard from you. You felt an odd sense of peace, just watching. The flowers planted just for graduation season even looked beautiful. Something you may not have paid nearly as much attention to had you not been dating Sakusa.

In fact, if you weren’t dating him you knew you’d be in the middle of the chaos right now. Still happy no doubt, but being able to get away from it even for a few minutes felt amazing. You’d both be thrown back into it in a matter of minutes, squeezing in the last set of pictures with best friends and holding conversations with people you’d have to get used to not seeing several times a week. You knew that Sakusa was almost guaranteed to be forced into a picture with the other graduating volleyball players.

“My families heading over I’m sure,” you hummed bringing your eyes back to Sakusa's profile. The look on his face slightly confuses you. You couldn’t quite tell if it were nerves, irritation, or just a result of squinting from the bright sun.

“We’re gonna have to head back in soon”

“Do you want to move in with me”

The two of you spoke simultaneously. It was official. This is one of the best days of your life.

Dating Sakusa Kiyoomi: Year 2, Month 4

“I’m gonna start dinner alright,” you called out as you pulled on one of Sakusa’s clean practice shirts and a pair of his old college sweats. Yes they were big,but they were more comfy than your own. Besides it was nothing a little, (read;a lot) of rolling and cuffing couldn’t fix. It was also his time of the month where you let him control the thermostat, and you’re cold! You’d just gotten out of the shower, him getting in shortly after coming home from a training day. The gym showers only do so much and he needed his own body wash is what he insisted the first time he came home and rushed immediately towards the bathroom.

You pulled out the sheet of paper with a recipe printed on it, courtesy of your co-worker. Earlier in the week you mentioned how you were craving chicken but no other recipe in your arsenal seemed appealing. Lo and behold you were given a sheet of paper with a recipe that apparently his family loved after experimenting with a few online recipes.

Before beginning you connect your phone to your speaker hitting shuffle. You manage to get all the ingredients out before a large knock sounds at your door. Confused, you yell out asking Sakusa if he was expecting anyone. You noticed the sounds of the shower ceased a few minutes ago, and that Sakusa would likely come to keep you company (more like sanitize the spice bottles the second you put one down.)

“Of course not,” with a shrug your wash your hands before gently opening the door. There’s a man. An attractive one- who looks oddly familiar. Wait, that guy is on Black Jackals, you note. Miya, Atsumu.

“Um hi,” you greet sounding more like a question, opening the door a bit wider.

“Shit! Did I come to the wrong apartment? I'm looking for Omi-Omi,” you noticed him trail off eyeing the shirt you were wearing. Omi-Omi? Sakusa must’ve heard him because the way he sprinted into the living room showed a scowl evident on his face. It even caused you to back up as Atsumu entered in.

“Why are you here. And how did you find where I live,” sakusa for right to the point.

“Aw c’mon Omi-Omi what if I missed ya. You left your earbuds in the locker room. Turned on you find my friends and matched the mailbox.” The glare on Sakusa’s face was one you recognized only when you genuinely irritated him. Not the one where he pretended to be annoyed but secretly wasn’t.

“But enough about that. How come you didn’t tell me you were dating. I thought we were friends. Omi-Omi,” Atsumu whined out arms crossing over his chest. As you were looking at his arms/ respectfully/ you jumped in a teasing pout of your own.

“Yeah Omi-Omi. Not telling your friends about me. A shame”

“Not you too.”

—

Dating Sakusa Kiyoomi: Year 2, Month 6

“You excited,” your question causes another wave of conversation between the men in the pre waiting area. Warmups were set to start in about 20 minutes. Shortly after you met Atsumu, he’d insisted you be introduced to the entire team. Afterall, other significant others got to hang out sometimes. Today was the day. Sakusa’s biggest match of his professional career yet. MSBY Black Jackals V Schweiden Adlers.

Receiving a mix of enthusiastic expletives, you turn towards your boyfriend who has yet to answer, prompting you to tease asking if he were nervous.

“No. We’re going to win,”

“That's the spirit Omi-Omi! Gonna beat Wakatoshi this time,” This time you bit back your laugh, smirking at the Miya twin’s jest. You loved getting able to take a break from being annoying. Sakusa, as per usual, noticed it. Getting up he motioned, that you follow him outside, ignoring the teases of getting a good luck kiss.

The minute you two rounded the corner of the hallway, a warm hand enveloped yours. Your confused look prompts your boyfriend to cage you against the corner of the wall. His unoccupied hand resting against the side of your head.”

“I am excited.” While his expression remained unchanged, The look in his eyes said it all. It was the same twinkle he showed that time you two made up after admitting your love. And the one present after revealing his commitment to MSBY to you. “And you are going to win,” your reiteration caused a soft smile to catch his face.

“Here's to you and your first major game Kiyoomi. And to many more because you're a star. Now go win.”

a/n: well this has been a roller coaster. I challenged myself to write 5k words, and 95% of this was written at like 3am bc thats when i go to sleep. I also did this to try and gain a feel for him so i can finish his part in good & the bad series. I really do be hoping this aint too ooc, bc while im caught up on the happenings of the manga from spoilers and twitter, i haven't actually gotten around to reading that far myself. also sorry for shitty formatting, ive never actually written a single body with this many words in a singular part ??? also i didnt edit this past google doc feature sooooo

anyways i did work hard and on this for the past week in between finals as a college junior so any comments and feedback are appreciated

#haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #hq imagines #sakusa x reader #haikyuu imagine #sakusa imagines #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu headcanons

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dimensionsunited · 3 years

Text

Q2 2021 DIMENSIONS ENTERTAINMENT SCHEDULES & REVIEW

Members may earn up to 18 points for writing, by the end of June 30 KST:

Up to three solo paras of 400+ words based on their quarterly schedule (does not count toward your monthly limit). (three points each)

Up to three threads of eight posts (four per participant, including the starter) based on the monthly schedule. (three points each)

Threads and solos do not have to take place directly during an important date listed on the schedule, but must be related to what the muse is mentioned to be doing in the paragraph explaining their schedule/the company’s schedule and/or their thoughts on the mentioned activities or lack thereof.

These schedules may be updated if new information needs to be added.

Reminder: Please do not post schedule posts in the fmdschedule tag.

Schedule posts for this quarter can be tagged with #fmddmsq221.

OVERALL COMPANY

Most of the groups under Dimensions are making comebacks this quarter, which hopefully means good things for the quarter’s profits, but also means a higher stress atmosphere among workers. Staff that overlaps between groups under Dimensions, such as stylists and recording engineers, might be pulled thin over the course of this quarter, leaving interactions with them potentially more tense and brief when they do happen, and schedule mishaps aren’t impossible, with practice rooms and recording studios potentially accidentally double-booked.

Important dates:

June 8-13: Triple Fantasy Festival in Indio, CA, USA.

GAL.ACTIC

In April, the members of Gal.actic wrap up comeback preparations ahead of their new release. While its release might not be a high-charter for the group, it earns a certain amount of favor with those who keep up with new releases for showing a side Gal.actic hasn’t been showing as much with their recent comebacks. Album sales aren’t anything standout for the group either, in spite of several fan signs being held, but it gives Gal.actic a fun summer song they might be able to book some festival performances of next quarter, and the charity walkathon performance they book in June at the tail end of promotions is good publicity and positive media karma, which they could always use more of.

Important dates:

April 10: Fri. Sat. Sun. photo book shoot.

April 25: “Fri. Sat. Sun.” M/V filming.

May 1: MISSHA fansign in Gangnam, Seoul.

May 13: Release of “Fri. Sat. Sun.” & Fri. Sat. Sun. mini-album + press showcase, music show promotions continue through June 13.

May 14: Fansign in Yongsan, Seoul.

May 16: Fansign in Gimpo.

May 31: Fansign in Busan.

June 1: Fansign in Gangnam, Seoul.

June 13: End of music show promotions.

June 19: Performance (Fri. Sat. Sun & B.B.B.) at 1m1won Charity Walkathon (also performing: Chroma Crystal and 7ROPHY).

ALIEN

After Alien finishes music show promotions in April, they’re given the rest of the month before they return in May to begin work on their next comeback. Once they come back in in May, it’s straight into concept meetings and then eventually recording their next single album, which will include double title tracks “Bling Bling” and “B-Day”. They continue to work on their new comeback in the beginning of summer, with choreography [2] and wardrobe fittings being the focus for June. Though their fan signs for their latest comeback were kept to a minimum this time around, they’ll get two chances to meet with fans this quarter during fan signs in their roles as ambassadors for sportswear brand Kappa.

Important dates:

April 5: Fansign in Gangnam, Seoul.

April 9: End of music show promotions.

May 8: Kappa fansign in Yongin.

June 19: Kappa fansign in Busan.

June 20: M/V [2] and stage outfit [2] wardrobe fittings.

MARS

Now that their active Japanese promotions are behind them and left mostly to pre-recorded clips and behind the scene videos here and there managed by Dimensions to lure in anyone still pondering a purchase, it’s time for MARS to turn their attention more fully to their Korean comeback. April brings with it fittings, photo shoots, and music video filming on top of continued practice of their stages. The company gets those preparations completed by the end of April so as to allow the group to concentrate on their performance ahead of their comeback at the end of May. The comeback is met with what could be considered a more lukewarm reception for MARS — it’s what they’re known for and good at, but doesn’t seem to be a gigantic standout for most fans in comparison to the sexier “Chained Up”. Nonetheless, promotions are successful enough to turn a profit and they’re already looking ahead to a looming second Korean comeback of the year by the time the quarter comes to a close.

Important dates:

April 5: M/V and stage outfit wardrobe fittings.

April 17: Light Us photo book shoot.

April 20: “Valkyrie” M/V filming.

May 26: Release of “Valkyrie” & Light Us mini-album + press showcase, music show promotions continue through June 26.

May 27: Relay Dance video filming.

May 31: In&Out Dance video filming.

June 1: Fan sign in Yeouido, Seoul.

June 3: Guesting on Arirang Sound K radio show.

June 4: Fan sign in Yongsan, Seoul.

June 7: “Eye Contact” self-cam M/V filming at Dimensions HQ.

June 16: Fansign in Yeungdeongpo, Seoul.

June 21: Fan sign in Gimpo.

June 26: End of music show promotions.

June 28: Jambangee fansign in Songpa, Seoul.

7ROPHY

The quarter begins by finishing off promotions for “Oh My God” and before the quarter ends, they’ll be through almost an entire round of promotions for an entirely different comeback. Dimensions was quick to get to work as soon as “Oh My God” started showing charting comparable to their best digital success “Latata” and, instead of holding on to the era and milking it for all its worth, they’ve instead made the decision to aim for a summer hit with two more comebacks over the span of only a few months. The first is “Uh Oh”, which they’ll rush to record and learn the choreography for in April before completing the bulk of their comeback preparations in Ma so that the can make a comeback in the first week of June to get themselves in as one of the first large contenders for song of the summer. The comeback doesn’t end up being that, but it does benefit in the run-off of “Lion” and “Oh My God”, already making 2021 a more successful year for 7ROPHY than the previous one when it comes to making their name more known with the public.

Important dates:

April 5: Fansign in Gimpo.

April 10: Elle Song Association video filming.

April 12: Fansign in Incheon.

April 15: End of music show promotions.

May 1: M/V and stage outfit wardrobe fittings.

May 14: Teaser photo [2] shoot.

May 15: “Uh Oh” M/V filming day one.

May 16: “Uh Oh” M/V filming day two.

May 26: 100sec Choreography video filming.

June 2: Release of “Uh Oh” + press showcase, music show promotions continue through July 2.

June 19: Performance (Uh Oh & Oh My God) at 1m1won Charity Walkathon (also performing: Chroma Crystal and Gal.actic).

June 20: Try-lingual Live video filming (to be released: June 27).

UNITY

This comeback involves a lot that the members of Unity have to film. Not only do they have to film the video for their title track in April after completing wardrobe fittings and photo shoots in March, but they also have a concept video, a track video, and a music video for another song off of the album to film. All of the hard work pays off, though, as their comeback album hits it out of the park with over a million sales after its release and the digital charting of the title track is pretty impressive for a boy group as well. If anyone had still been questioning Unity’s position within Dimensions, there’s not much ground left to do so anymore after this comeback. They’re one of the top boy groups of their generation, and that’s something Dimensions will be proud to mediaplay in the aftermath of this comeback’s success.

Important dates:

April 2: Unity : The Past & Future : Ether video filming.

April 11: “Misfit” Track Video filming.

April 18: “Make A Wish (Birthday Song)” M/V filming.

April 26: “From Home” M/V filming.

May 1: “Make A Wish (Birthday Song)” M/V reaction video filming.

May 3: Release of “Make A Wish (Birthday Song)” & Unity Resonance Pt. 1 album + press showcase, music show promotions continue through June 3.

May 7: Fansign in Gangnam, Seoul.

May 10: Fansign in Jongno, Seoul.

May 11: Fansign in Yeongdeungpo, Seoul.

May 31: Fansign in Goyang.

June 3: End of music show promotions.

↳ CHAMPION

Near the end of the month, the CHAMPION members will fly out to Japan to hold their concert at Tokyo Dome. Decipher and Knight have played Tokyo Dome before, but Unity hasn’t. Regardless of history, it’s a pretty big deal that a fresh sub-unit is playing such a venue, so BC and Dimensions wants to make sure it goes off without a hitch. After the concert ends, the unit members will begin working on a comeback as they go in to record a single in the studio in June.

Important dates:

April 29: We Are The Future Concert at Tokyo Dome in Tokyo, Japan.

LUCID

Lucid spends most of April preparing for the fanmeeting they’ll be holding in May. In addition to performances of their releases so far (leaning heavily into their “normal realm” concepts, they’re informed), as it’s a fanmeeting, they’ll have talk sessions they also have to prepare for. Other than the usual ments, the members will be expected to answer fan questions and requests and give advice to fans (all of these messages will be pre-approved by the company). They’ll also play games on stage with each other. Their fanmeeting isn’t all the have to occupy their time, though, as they’ll make making another comeback at the end of the quarter with a return to form with the normal realm concept instead of an intersection like their last release was. They’ll record the mini-album in April and begin learning the choreography a little earlier than usual within the same month. (The choreography for b-side “One Half” will need to be learned as well.) May brings in the focus on promotional materials, although rehearsals continue behind the scenes at a higher intensity than usual to guarantee the members have the choreography nailed down for this comeback. Finally, they make their return in June with a warm reception that’s expected by many due to adhering conceptually to their most successful releases.

Important dates:

April 7: Performance at Nonsan Strawberry Festival in Nonsan (also performing: Chroma Crystal).

May 2: Dear. Reverie fanmeeting at Olympic Hall in Seoul.

May 1: M/V and stage outfit wardrobe fittings.

May 9: Parallel photo book shoot.

May 30: “Love Whisper” M/V filming.

June 15: Release of “Love Whisper” & Parallel mini-album + press showcase, music show promotions continue through July 15.

June 16: OMG Live video filming.

June 17: Guesting on SBS Power FM Cultwo Show radio show, Relay Dance video filming.

June 18: Fansign in Yeongdeungpo, Seoul.

June 19: Fansign in Mapo, Seoul.

June 20: Fansign in Gangnam, Seoul.

June 23: Guesting on SBS Power FM Power Time radio show.

June 24: Guesting on MBC Starry Night radio show.

June 27: Fansign in Gangnam, Seoul.

June 30: Guesting on KBS Cool FM Kiss The Radio radio show.

#fmdschedule #q2 2021 #fmddmsq221 #queued post

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courage-a-word-of-justice · 2 years

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Fruits Basket 53 (s3 ep 3)

You only want what you can’t have in a lot of cases…whether that be something from the past you can only live through once, like this…

Wave, Listen to Me! 3

Now that I’m in a server where one of my fellow admins is a trans gay dude…I wonder if it’s okay to enjoy gay people being the butt of a joke like this (quite literally, in one sense)?

INGRY MONGRY.

…what are the turtles for(?) Update: Oh, the turtles are Mizuho’s.

I think Minare thanks Jupiter because of the Maroon 5 song, Drops of Jupiter…I feel like that’s the only way to explain it, even though the chart rankings on Wikipedia say the song never charted in Japan.

God of High School 7

*38-year-old high schooler* - LOL, wut?

LOL, the swearing finally hit its limit on Crunchyroll, eh?

I seem to remember people who read the source text said the pacing was too fast, but I don’t feel that, as an anime-only watcher. Then again, they increased the focus on the fights, so I’m not complaining.

LOL, Sixsung. The only Korean word I know well is “chaebol”, so I think it’s used here. (<- did not use volume)

Kemono Jihen 8

“Inugami” is written as “hidden god”. Hmm.

Nobimaru, you asshole!

Kemono Jihen 9

LOL, Kabane’s on the floor.

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww…an eight year old and…how old is Kabane again? 15 at best? Please tell me you’re joking…

Kemono Jihen 10

(no notes, sorry!)

Kemono Jihen 11

(no notes, sorry!)

Kemono Jihen 12 (FINAL)

Get some clothes, Kabane! More than Shiki’s jacket!

LOL, Kabane is such a derp!

Okay, that was really fun, albeit not quite finished. Also still barfing at how Aya seems to be in love with Kabane…See you next time while I recover...

Visual Prison 1

Checking this out because I am 7 episodes from approaching the (self-imposed) threshold on my spreadsheet – that is, I had over 100 eps accrued on that thing and, once I finish those 7 I’ll have exactly 100 old episodes, so I can move on to checking out the new anime.

Of all the things in the world this anime needed, why did it have to be a panda cat? *raises eyebrow*

I like a concert-like experience, but I swear it’s the same yells on loop! Gah!

These twins(?) remind me of the Beppus (Boueibu s2).

There’s a member of the Discord server who likes Iori of Paradox Live, so I am reminded of Iori when I see this Saga guy *sweatdrops*. (Note: I am currently an admin of a Discord server for Hypnosis Mic. This was one of the reasons I fell behind on my simulcasts – the conversations there would happen for most hours of the day and always sucked up anime-watching time.)

Waiwaiwaiwaitttttttttttt…microphone swords???? That’s something not even Hypnosis Mic does and you know how much I love that series! You have my attention!

What’s with the “Bro”??? Honestly, there’s not much to comment on if it’s just music video after music video…

*vampire gets bitten into, he screams in ecstasy* Uhhhhhhhh…there is clearly a sexual metaphor here, but I will refrain from commenting on it…

When it says “thank you”, Ange specifically seems to be saying “thank you for helping me” in the Japanese. However, it seems to be readily apparent from the previous text he is saying this, too, hence the simplification. (Also, it’s possible I misheard him. I suck at listening to Japanese these days.)

Hah…that was…interesting, to say the least. It’s threadbare in plot, hard to comment on, but a fun viewing experience, if campy.

Mieruko-chan 1

To be honest, I wasn’t planning on watching this one - I heard about the fanservice when reading others’ first episode impressions. However, I kept hearing about it from someone in the Discord server and so it got to the point where I checked it out anyway.

Question for all the writers out there: is in medias res always a good place to start? (<- might write a blog post about this)

*cringe* What’s with Hana’s boob shots?

*cringes again at the panty shot*

*gives sus eyes to the butt shot*

Funi translated “uneasy”, but they didn’t translate one of the other calligraphy on the walls, which is 虚構 (kyokou), or “fictitious”. A different one says “hope” (kibou) and ye another says “despair” (zetsubou).

I think the moment where Miko is proven to be haunted is a masterclass in how to scare people – I mean, the build-up (establishing Hana wasn’t there with the camera angle and the photo appearing many times until you could see a different face) was slow but steady.

I knew this was a horror-comedy going into it and I knew the entire premise, but…seeing it in execution now is…kinda disappointing. Miko has the ignorance down to a T.

*cringes again at butt shot* The fact most of my reactions here are cringes…is a bad sign, really.

*sighs at unnecessary underwear line/camel toe*

The bag actually said “Kanata no Shio” (Faraway Salt/Salt Over There)…it’s probably a Japanese brand I’m not familiar with. Update: Checked it and it seems to be a brand unique to this anime.

“Gangle”, LOL.

Welp, it’s a horror-comedy that executes on the horror, but not on the comedy much. It’s a shame too, because it’s just in time for Halloween.

#simulcast commentary #Mieruko-chan #Visual Prison #Fruits Basket #God of High School #Wave Listen to Me!#Kemono Jihen

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livebloggingmydescentintomadness · 4 years

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is it possible to engage with The News without being overwhelmed? i want to be well-informed, but i feel like i have to sacrifice my mental health to do so, especially recently. thank you for any help you are able to give, have a wonderful day.

(i’m going to assume that you’re american and just speak about american topics and resources because i’m not really tuned in to global stuff right now since everything here is a total dumpster fire, but some of this is probably applicable regardless of where you are.)

i’ve been having the exact same problem lately. for ~5 years i’ve kept up-to-date on the news almost every day by spending hours on twitter, but i think the ordeal with the post office just sorta made me hit my limit. i’ve been taking a complete break from twitter for the past few weeks and just vaguely keeping up with what’s going on, and i’ve definitely needed it.

my best suggestions for paying attention without getting overwhelmed is that you keep the news to a contained portion of your life and time, and you keep it at a distance. so either you only spend a set period of time engaged, such as by watching the 30 minute evening national news and nothing beyond that, or you keep an emotional buffer between yourself and the full breadth of the pain and fear, which i’ve been managing to do by just reading headlines and article blurbs rather than videos or whole twitter threads from people affected.

also, sometimes you need to have total no-go topics, things you recognize that you just can’t fucking handle and so you completely pay no attention to. i can’t read deep dives on climate change, i can’t look at photos of starving children in yemen, and i can’t listen to all the details of what’s happening in the migrant concentration camps. i’m aware that those things are things are happening, i care that they’re happening, but me having a panic attack alone in my room because of the unspeakable, unbearable level of grief and horror contained in those stories doesn’t help anybody. me dying on the inside doesn’t help anybody. figure out what your no-go topics are.

put boundaries on your news consumption, and look for avenues of information that you can consume without getting sucked in for hours, dwelling. i follow @saywhat-politics on here and the steady stream of headlines helps me be aware of what’s going on, generally, in a fairly detached way. and while they’re on break right now, i highly recommend seth meyers’ regular “a closer look” segment (here’s the official youtube channel) where he does 10-15 minute mini deep dives on current events in a way that refreshingly blends information with humor and the frank insistence that this is all crazy, so that it feels a lot more tolerable than just straight news. he seems like a really good dude and his “i’m quietly losing my mind” energy is very relatable.

and lastly, my golden rule of paying attention to the news is that you ALWAYS have to deliberately and regularly balance it out with cute animals, funny memes, and relaxing nature content. you have to decompress with stuff that makes being alive not feel like an unrelenting nightmare. and make sure you talk to your friends so you don’t feel so isolated and helpless.

i hope that helps a bit. remember that none of this is normal, so not being able to handle it IS normal. take care of yourself.

#advice #politics #us politics #anonymous #ask

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thoughtsofanexcitedspacechild · 3 years

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25 more things I learned during a global pandemic from your Local Teenage Train wreck :) (Pt. 2)

1. Gaining weight is okay. Losing weight is okay. Bodies fluctuate and are inconsistent. Just make sure that you’re trying your best to be healthy, whatever that means for you.

2. School is hard, especially during a global. freaking. pandemic. Don’t beat yourself up if it’s harder to get up in the morning or your grades aren’t as high as they usually are. It’s hard right now.

3. You’re mental health comes above all. School, responsibilities, and personal projects are not worth your time if it’s affecting your mental health. If your gut is telling you to take a break, take a break!

4. If you feel lonely, get a plant to keep in your room. Do some research as to that plants do best with the type of lighting in your room, and figure out some basic care instructions. Have someone to take care of besides yourself. Name your plants, and take care of them.

5. Even if you’re not good at writing, I suggest you keep a journal during this time. It kept me sane over the summer, and even though I eventually stopped because of limited time with school starting back up, it helped to keep me sane in the worst of the pandemic.

6. If you’re spiritual (or even if you’re not) learn how to do shadow work. This isn’t anything that has to be spiritual or done in just one religion. It’s basically giving yourself a chance and a space to be open and honest with yourself and to learn what you might need to work on through writing. If you google it, you can find a more in depth explanation, and prompts to start doing it. You basically give yourself a prompt. They can be questions like “What’s the biggest lie you’ve told someone else or yourself?” or they can be a little less heavy like “What are five non physical things that you genuinely like about yourself?”. This can be pretty heavy, and can dig up some unwanted emotions, but that’s the whole point; to deal with the emotions you may have been repressing and letting fester inside of you.

7. On days when you’re not feeling well mentally, take a break. It’s okay to drop everything and get an extra hour of sleep, read, or do something else to make yourself feel better.

8. After hard days, I know the last thing you want to do is get up and continue on, but here are some ways to do it:

- lay out an outfit that’s put together, but not as over the top. No sweat pants or crappy clothes, but it doesn’t have to be your usual put together outfits with a full face of makeup. A nice crewneck and a nice pair of black athletic leggings can go a long way.

-wear your comfort jewelry. I wear my beaded necklace that I bought for myself, the silver ring my grandma gave me and the gold cross ring that my mom gave to me when I got confirmed.

-eat breakfast. A handful of cereal will do. Anything. But eat something. I like to make oatmeal. It sounds boring but if you make it right, it tastes just perfect for mornings when you don’t feel hungry but know inside that you are. Recipe is next on the list :)

-go to school. I know you want to lay in bed. I know the last place you want to be is a crowded building full of pubescent teens that aren’t nice, but go. Go to learn. Go to absorb knowledge like a sponge, and don’t worry if you fail and lose some of the water, because you can always soak it up later.

-if you have practice, rehearsal, a game, whatever, be gentle on yourself. Today might not be your best day physically, because the brain controls everything. Forgive yourself if you can’t land that double pirouette, get to the high note, or make that assist. You’re abilities are stagnant, and they’re going to change depending on how you feel

-When you get home, turn off your phone. Friends, social media, etc. can wait. Set a timer for one hour. Do work for just that hour. When the timer rings, finish what you were doing and then stop. Now have a 20 minute break and do something that’s not screen related. Read a book, draw something; heck, stare at the wall for 20 minutes and space out. When the timer rings, do another hour and repeat the same process until it’s all done.

-have a playlist you listen to to heal you. Sad boi hours are ok, just make sure to have a playlist of songs that get you moving again.

-Sleep. Even if that means putting off work for tomorrow. It’s ok. You really need it.

9. Oatmeal seems gross until you know how to prepare it. When you do, it’s revolutionary. It’s a high volume, low calorie food, so you’ll stay full for a while without overeating, all while consuming less calories than you would with a traditional breakfast cereal.

The right way to make it:

-measure out half a cup of old fashioned oats. Not steel cut. Those aren’t as good.

-MOST IMPORTANT STEP: add half a cup of water and half a cup of milk of your choice. I personally like almond milk because it’s kind of sweet already even when it’s unsweetened.

-SECOND MOST IMPORTANT STEP: add a pinch of salt, a sprinkle of cinnamon, and allspice, and a teaspoon or two of maple syrup. This is what makes it taste palatable. It’s less sugar than store-bought, and tastes amazing.

-Microwave that shit for one minute and stir. It should look kind of lumpy, but not a ton. Then, put another minute on. Stir at every half increment. (After 30 seconds, every 15 seconds, and then every 7) This is so it doesn’t boil over. Then, take it out, stir it one last time, and let it sit for a second.

-Wash up some berries to put in it. I love blueberries and or blackberries.

perfect oatmeal every. single. time. Feel free to add more toppings like nuts or if you wanna treat yourself chocolate or substitute the spices, but this is honestly one of my favorite breakfasts that keeps me full throughout the day.

10. Learn a new language. Yes, Duolingo is annoying, but do it. Find one that you’ll like to learn and that’s easy for you. Try them on like old clothes and find one that fits just right. For me, it’s French. Expose yourself to that language. Listen to music, read books (or try to) and watch movies with subtitles. Soon enough, you’ll be eager to learn more.

11. Learn how to use notion.com. It’s super amazing. You can literally keep track of your entire life there. It’s pretty fun to use as well. I made schedules for each day after school, a reading log, a want to read list, a personal habit tracker, etc, and they’re all extremely helpful.

12. Make a list of things you weren’t allowed to do as a kid and do one every day. Heal your inner child by finally itching the spot that may not have been scratched for years.

13. Learn how to make origami stars. They’re really easy, and I can’t recommend Maqaroon’s (Joanna’s) video on how to make them enough. Once you’ve got it down, get yourself a nice big jar and write down things you’re grateful for on the slips of paper you’re going to fold. Fill up your gratitude jar and make a wish once it’s full. It will come true.

14. Have 30 minutes a day to put your phone down and read. Yes. You will have to sacrifice something to do this, but it’s so important and good for not only information retention and learning, but for mental health as well. Even if you have to get up half an hour earlier to do it, it’s worth it.

15. It’s okay to be alone, but learn to recognize the difference between alone and lonely. If you’re lonely, here are some things to do:

-write a letter to a friend. It’s something nice you can do for yourself and others, and it’s not feeding into the toxic instant reply culture that we live in

-read a book or watch a show that gets you to connect with the characters, even if that means (I've said it before and I’ll say it again) rereading a favorite ya series or binging atla for the fiftieth time. It’s good for the soul.

-take a walk and smile at the people you see coming past. Again, it’s good for the soul.

-go to the coffee shop and ask the barista to make you a drink that tastes like “_____” (insert whatever you want there. It could be a color, song, feeling, etc.) It’s weird and uncomfortable, but it gives you a conversation starter and 9.9 times out of 10 a really good drink. (Also helpful for when you think the barrista’s cute)

-Reading in general. It opens up so many new worlds with the turn of a page.

16. Monitor your food intake. No, don’t restrict your food intake, monitor it. This means first seeing exactly what your putting in your body and altering it to gradually improve to a clean diet. Humans weren’t built to process all the preservatives, additives and sugars found in most processed food (cereals, chips, anything in a foil bag that’s either really sweet or really salty) and it’s important to cut down and if possible eliminate as much as you can of it out of your diet. Food is fuel, and you truly are what you eat. You’ll notice that by increasing your vegetable intake, reducing white processed sugars and carbs*, and cutting out sodas/extra sugars, that you’ll feel better. This isn’t a weight loss thing, but you may start to trim down a little bit once you go more intense with it. You don’t have to eliminate anything fully, and please enjoy your favorite “bad” foods! Everything in moderation is perfect! Just make sure that you’re getting the good stuff in there too! *Side note, do NOT cut out carbs! See my post on how I’m losing weight to get more into depth on this.

17. Buy fresh flowers for yourself. Who says that you have to wait for someone else? That’s completely false, and you should totally treat yourself to a nice bouquet on occasion, especially in the dead of winter.

18. The whole idea of self love is flawed. Loving yourself has nothing to do with the way you look. Loving yourself comes with genuinely loving your life. If you don't love the way you’re living, change it. Make and set goals. Fail at achieving those goals. Get back up and try again until you finally get it, but make sure that whatever you’re doing, you’re doing to love the life you live. Life doesn’t live you. You live life.

19. Have candles and incense. (Or a diffuser if you’re not allowed to burn stuff) Making your environment smell good makes a huge difference

20. Once you turn 18, get a tattoo. It doesn’t have to mean anything. Pick something small and get it behind your ear, on your ankle, wrist, fingers, whatever. You’ll love having the memory when your old.

21. Realize your worth. We often put ourselves down because we think that valuing ourselves is equivalent to selfishness. It’s not. At all. You are just as important as everyone else. Your voice matters too.

22. Go to art museums

23. Go to free concerts in the park

24. Expose yourself to new art, ideas, and literature

25. Life is gonna suck sometimes. It’s just how it is. That doesn’t mean a bad day’s gonna last forever. As cheesy as it is, keep your head up :)

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pro-exotics · 3 years

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My Birdie Wishlist - no one is going to read all of this

Just for fun, here is my wishlist of birds parrots.

I made a collage last spring of all the exotic pets I wanted (most of which are gone now, as I realize with my limited time and resources, as well as living in Norway, I will have to stick to my favorites, namely parrots and reptiles), which had sixteen parrots on it, changing species on and off as I learned more and understood my wishes and abilities more. (I do not want any more Poicephalus and they are not suitable with other parrots, I can never afford a €25k Palm cockatoo, I like some species but they have to be down-prioritized for various reasons, etc...)

I thought hell, lots of breeders and enthusiasts keep dozens of parrots in aviaries, sixteen is not that much? But I realized recently as I thought planned dreamed a little more, that I want to have a relationship with each bird, so I will have to keep my wishlist to under ten birds. (Also, I already have two, though they are middle-aged, they have probably 10-20 and 20-40 years left, respectively.)

So these nine ^ are what came out finally. Miligold (military x B&G macaw), Citron-crested cockatoo, Dusky pionus, Camelot macaw (75% Scarlet, 25% B&G), Hawk-headed parrot, Moluccan cockatoo, Bronze-winged pionus, Lesser sulphur-crested cockatoo, and Golden conure.

I also have a soft spot for the Alexandrine, especially the new lutino mutation (which is actually a hybrid with the Indian ringneck). It sounds shallow but I love yellow birds and I will pick the one that has a better suited temperament, also the Golden conure is endangered so I don’t know if it should be considered unethical to keep them as pure pets. (And €2000 is a pricey little conure. Hardly any of the other birds cost that much.)

Also I may want a white-bellied caique again instead, as my Pumpkin sadly got a wasting disease and died, and he was an amazing little puppy. :(

Cockatoos have an unfair reputation, in my opinion. Yes they are special and yes they are high-maintenance, but I find a lot of parrot people just can’t stand cockatoos, or fear them. (I on the other hand, am that way with Poicephalus and Amazons. XD They scare me.) I love the flashiness and sugar-high toddler personality of the cockatoos. With these three (or just the first two, we will see), I will only get females as young birds, and raise them with the flock. Males are far more unpredictable, and some turn out as killers of other birds. (Also I love the red-tailed blacks... and there is a breeder in Norway that sells them for about €3k. But it is a very special bird that would need careful planning. My favorite is the yellow-tailed, but they cost some €25k per bird.)

Hawk-heads also seem to have a strange reputation online, that got spread like “I heard someone said that someone read that they can be really mean”, while when you read from first-hand experience, they seem like any normal South American parrot (their closest relative is the caique).

I have owned sulphur-crested cockatoos and a scarlet macaw before, but that was when I was 15-21 years old and living in an apartment. A completely different life situation, and even a different person who owned them. I am now nearly 30 and won’t be able to build this flock up for quite a few years yet. Maybe I will have the two Pionus in 2-3 years.

I will be making an entire building for these, by the way. I love cockatoos, but not indoors 24/7. XD Especially as they’re the only parrots that regularly scream in the dark. Because they don’t want to go to bed. (And 100 other reasons. Many animals are lovely to interact with, but very difficult to keep inside the home.)

I have heard a bit of iffy things about pulmonary problems in macaws from being kept with toos and greys, especially the B&Gs (theorized to be due to their bare nostrils), and both of these are B&G hybrids. Some terrible stories, some have kept them together for decades with no problem (rescues/sanctuaries especially).

I will probably keep the macaws separate in their own smaller indoor aviary, in another room, but let them share space with the other birds outdoors, and go out to the main area for enrichment, but keep it very clean and dust-free, and the macaws would be in their own air-space for 18+ hours per day.

I have made a lot of videos, articles and lengthy annoying forum posts against hybrids and the pet parrot trade in general between 2008-2014, but I have changed in my beliefs a lot since then. So in case you stumble upon my videos... know that I don’t stand by them anymore, but I am leaving them up.

#parrots #birds #exotic pets #wishlist #personal #cockatoos #macaws #pionus

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differenceenginegirl · 4 years

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Everything seems a little dark and scary at the moment, so I have complied a list of links to cultural and/or educational things (and some just streams of cute animals, or just plain fun) that are available to watch or listen to or do for free (mostly) online. Some of these will only work for the duration of the current situation (marked with a *), but most are permanent (so far as I know) so can be kept around for a little bit of sunshine on a rainy day.

Feel free to add to this with your own links or ideas, and remember, we’ll get through this together (with the appropriate social distancing). Follow the advice that’s been given, wash your hands, and be kind to one another.

The majority of links were brought to my attention by @theyahwehdance, @elleflies, and @buckysleftarm (plus a bit of a deep dive through my drafts). Under a cut because hoo boy it got long...

(Some links in the linked lists may be broken, some may be region-locked, and some may be duplicated, I haven’t checked them all.)

Culture and Education!

The Metropolitan Opera, free nightly (19:30 EDT, 23:00 GMT) broadcasts of operas, available for 20 hours following the broadcast too. (Schedule for the first week)*

Berlin Philharmonic: 30 days free access to their virtual concert hall (redeem before 31st March 2020)*

Playbill have compiled a list of 15 professionally recorded musicals you can watch at home (Not all free) and are inviting people to join them in watching Rodgers & Hammerstein’s Cinderella Starring Lesley Ann Warren on 20th March at 20:00 ET! (video may be region locked)

12 highlighted virtual museum tours and a whole load of others from around the world!

Science Twitter, a series of Skype with a Scientist virtual lectures! (A sign up with an email is required through the link in the tweet, running from 12:00-14:00 EST, (16:00-18:00 GMT)

30 virtual field trips! Links to virtual tours and live cameras of many different places! (Aimed at kids)

Animals!

Cincinnati Zoo Facebook Live virtual safaris, every weekday at 15:00 EDT (19:00 GMT)* Completed safaris will be posted to their website shortly after the Live finishes, and also kept on their Facebook.

Live Monterey Bay Aquarium Cams: 10 different cams showing various tanks and enclosures, and the bay itself!

Live San Diego Zoo Cams: 9 different cams showing various creatures in their habitats!

Atlanta Zoo Panda Cam

Danish Sea Eagles Cam (this site in Danish, and may go dark, as the equipment is solar powered): A live feed of a Danish Sea Eagle nest!

Peregrines in Norwich and Bath!

Live Animal Cam, Ohio: A cam focused on a feeding station, with night vision so the feed continues even after the sun goes down! (This shows wild animals, so there is no guarantee that you’ll see creatures)

Shedd Aquarium let their penguins out to explore! (Under supervision) More exploration here!

Two Oceans Aquarium did too, and look at these little cuties on the stairs!

A livestream of adoptable kitties!

And here’s a thread with some of these cams, and more!

Music!

Various people (started by cellist Yo-Yo Ma) playing/sharing music that comforts them on Twitter.

Virtual High School Musicals! (Original Thread) (Wider Hashtag) Many High School kids are now finding themselves unable to perform the musicals they’ve been working so hard on, so Laura Benanti invited them to video themselves performing and share it with her, so they still get to perform for an appreciative audience! (Some of these are absolutely stunning!)

Never before heard Hamilton track demo!

A playlist of Quarantunes on Spotify, compiled by Rita Wilson (Tom Hanks’ wife)

A playlist of 101 Feel-Good songs on Spotify, compiled by @lanamlouise

This guy made a really cool instrument out of PVC pipes!

A group of engineers in Stockholm turned a set of stairs into a piano to encourage people to use them rather than the escalator!

Stories!

Josh Gad reads a bedtime story (Olivia goes to Venice) with voices!

Various celebrities reading kids stories, as part of a charity initiative to keep kids fed during school shutdowns.

A bunch of free short stories, essays, audio and video by the wonderful author @neil-gaiman (Plus two photos of him in an ancient hat!)

Find your local indie bookstore and support them while also getting a new book! (US only)

And of course, you can’t leave out the marvelous Archive Of Our Own for fanfiction and fanworks for almost every fandom you can think of! (Remember to make use of the tags and filters to narrow your search or avoid things you don’t want to see/read!)

Food!

A recipe for Norwegian Christmas Butter Squares! (Apparently like sugar cookies, but in bar form and better)

A fudgy brownie-in-a-mug recipe!

A really nice chocolate pudding (in the British sense, so like a cake) with spiced chocolate sauce! (I love the whole cookbook that this is from, and it’s especially good for Discworld fans. Available from various sellers, I have linked my favourite money-sink, the Discworld Emporium: Nanny Ogg’s Cookbook)

My favourite biscuits (cookies) to make! Honey and cinnamon, with a picture book (Honey Biscuits by Meredith Hooper) that you can read alongside to explain to kids where all the ingredients came from!

Creativity and learning new things!

LUNCH DOODLES with Mo Willems! (13:00 ET weekdays, videos remain post-stream) Aimed mostly at kids, but don’t let that stop you doodling with the Kennedy Center Education Artist-in-Residence!

A little list of doll makers/dress-up sites!

How to take really good photos of the night sky with a phone! (Please continue to observe social distancing rules while taking your pretty pictures)

Fancy making a language? Here’s a site with resources to help you get going with that!

A long list of sources of inspiration, arty websites, and some that are just fun!

Make your very own Peaches the Mouse by @my-darling-boy!

Want to learn 3D modelling? Fusion360 is free (for hobbyists and students) and professionally used, with a good network of tutorials and an, imo, fairly intuitive interface! (I use this a lot)

Want to play with Photoshop but don’t have the money? Here’s a free, in browser version! (Has ads, but they’re unobtrusive)

Want to try your hand at creating a sim? The Sims 4 Character Creator Demo is free! (Limited options, but still fun to play with)

Whether you play D&D or not, this is a really cool custom miniature creator, with loads of options that are being constantly added to updated! (And if you have the money, you can get it in a printable format, or printed for you in a variety of materials!)

Fancy learning something new? Memrise has a load of free courses, ranging from real languages like French or Spanish for beginners to fictional languages like Quenya (one of the Elven languages from LotR) or Klingon, or trivia bits like Harry Potter Spells or Noble Houses in Game of Thrones, and many more! (Available in multiple languages, although not all courses may be available in all languages)

Ever fancied trying to build armour or cosplay props from foam? R31 Studios has you covered with free PDF templates for all sorts of bits!

Meditation and Calm!

60 second meditation tool! Put a worry into a star, and watch it float away with a calming soundtrack and

Meditation with Lizzo!

Customisable Rain Sounds!

Customisable Train Sounds!

And many more customisable noise generators!

Play with liquid/particles! (Warning: this one made me feel a bit motion-sick, but pretty!)

Interactive generative art!

Random bits I couldn’t catagorise!

Don’t want to dine alone? Have dinner with the Gaffigans!

A series of Mildly Interesting images from @catchymemes!

A group of stuntmen doing Super Mario!

Another list of Good Links (Really well organised!) by @secretladyspider!

@thelatestkate draws wonderfully reassuring cartoons! (On Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook too!)

World Record Egg Instagram! Lots of nice little positive cartoons.

Happy news from The Happy Broadcast on Instagram, The Happy News, and HuffPost Good News!

Here’s an ongoing list of good stuff by @pftones3482! (Check the notes for more good stuff, and the latest addition)

Some feel-good browser games!

And finally, a little frog here to give you some reassurance!

#positivity #feel good #happy things #reassurance #link list

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myownprivatcidaho · 3 years

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Ackles or Astley?: The Tale of the Years-Long Rickroll

in light of hearing talk of the Heaven-Blessed Vocal Range of mr jackles rackles ackles, a story has crawled out from the recesses of my psyche that i am now feeling compelled to share:

It was the summer of 2015 that I binged all supernatural from start to finish (s1-10). i was a “superwholockian” tumblr since i started in early 2014, but didn’t actually watch spn until the following summer.

in the late summer/early fall of that year, an audio post came up on my dashboard: Jensen Ackles singing Carry On My Wayward Son. i knew jensen had a great voice, but also that he had some hesitation around singing and only in recent years started coming out of his shell. there were videos from conventions, but a studio recording of The Song from the vocal chords of The Jensen Ackles seemed WAY too good to be true.

regardless, i pressed play. what came from the speakers of my moms computer as i sat in my kitchen that afternoon was NOT carry on my wayward son. it was a 70s/80s disco-esque song. the lyrics werent Kansas. the instrumentals weren’t Kansas. the style DEFINITELY wasnt Kansas. NONE OF IT was Kansas. but the man singing had a deep, harmonious voice that, to my sweet and inexperienced 13 year old pea brain, could only be attributed to The Jackles Rackles Ackles himself.

and it was catchy. catchy as FUCK. it wasnt The Anthem of Traumatized Tumblr Bitches Everywhere, but it was catchy. so i listened to it. god did i listen to it. on repeat, throughout the day. the harmonizing, the backing vocals, the iconic synthesizer and the sweet, sweet deep voice of the man I so faithfully believed was jensen ackles. it was all so good i couldnt go a day without it. I kept the post pulled up on my first generation ipad and pressed play after play for hours on end. i reblogged the post on my godforsaken default theme turquoise and lime blog once a day at a MINIMUM. i was in love.

years passed. i never forgot what was once my favorite song. by late 2017 my first blog had been long-since deleted and my interests had changed. i didnt see the post again. i did, however, hear the song again. here and there, often accompanied by pissed off comments. i didnt understand. until one day i Clicked A Link. it lead to a simple enough youtube video, but i recognized the song in an instant and it wasnt jensen ackles. on screen was a redhead man in a 70s/80s disco-esque music video. that youtube video was “Never Gonna Give You Up” and that man was Rick Astley.

at last it all came together for me: i was played. this song i enjoyed, streamed on repeat, reblogged endlessly, showed to friends and family, cherished, loved, was a meme. a prank.

ive lived with this slipping in and out of my memories for half a decade and have only spoken of it once (1) before. its 2020 now. ive grown, ive moved on, the world has changed, the cw is homophobic beyond shame or limit, the astley-digging 13 year old’s ship of dreams is canon in the most abominable way imaginable. too many things have turned out to all be for nothing. there is no pretty conclusion to any of this.

this was the story of the conscience-crushing Rastley Longcon, and this is how i lay it to rest.

#sia posts #txt #long post #jensen ackles #the rastley longcon

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valshe-eng · 3 years

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『UNIFY -10th Anniversary BEST-』Official Interview English translation

Interview/original text by: Yamamoto Hiroko

Original: http://valshe.jp/interview-unify

—Interviewer questions

VALSHE’s answers

Interview text under the cut!

— The 10th anniversary major debut Best album『UNIFY -10th Anniversary BEST-』has the title “UNIFY”, was this word been with VALSHE for a long time?

Yes. There’s also the word “Certify” in the lead song “UNIFY”, both are the keywords for the best album.

— Is “UNIFY” done in a way that it connects all the paths VALSHE has taken so far?

I wanted to create something that was the “peak” of what VALSHE has done in the last decade for fans when producing this best work. This is also the first work where I really wanted to be in the leading role, I want to show that VALSHE will be in the frontlines to prove its sound and worldview. So, instead of compiling works together and labeling it as “I’ve shown various songs, faces, and appearances”, I wanted to show the original VALSHE that was the core of this.

— You mentioned that you wanted to be the leading role for the first time, but how did you feel before that?

Of course, the songs I released so far are also under VALSHE, and since I was in the front, what I mentioned were just the emotional parts. For example: when 5th Anniversary 『DISPLAY -Now&Best-』was released, from the perspective of VALSHE, many staff were involved in the sound making, music video, and live performances. There were also the feelings of fans helping to move things forward. It was “VALSHE”, but it’s not VALSHE.

— Is it due to the fact that many people are involved in VALSHE’s work?

Yes. It was a bit rough, but I think that thanks to everyone during the 5th anniversary, I couldn’t think even at the slightest that “I came this far because of my hard work”. Now that I worked in the long run, I was able to admit to myself that “VALSHE did her best too” thus thought that 「UNIFY」 was an appropriate title.

— 2 new songs are included in the Best of 2-disc set, but I felt the title song “UNIFY” was uplifting and powerful. It has a loud element and a gospel taste, please give us an episode on when you wrote this song.

The song 「UNIFY」 has existed for about 2 years. Before the production of last year’s single 「SYM-BOLIC XXX」 started, I held a competition for songs suitable for VALSHE’s 100th song with the sound producer and doriko, who has been providing songs for work at that time. However, when I listened to the song I made, I thought “It’s too heavy for a 100th song, and only my song has a strong anniversary sense” Thus, this song is kept.

— So it’s a song that was saved for the anniversary?

Yes. At the time, I was working on its arrangement, so the image did not change much. During its demo stage, I could see the majestic and profound sound of it, so I didn’t have to rebuild the song. And since I had 2 years, I had time to fine tune and brush up more, so I feel like I was finally able to release it at the right time. I think it’s a song where you can see VALSHE standing on a stage.

— Earlier you mentioned “Certify” was an important keyword, but what are you thoughts about that?

The word “Certify” is included not only in the title song but also the entire best album, as the work itself feels like a certificate. It’s the same for me, thought it’s not like “I have completed a 10-year course” to the fans who are receiving it, but more of “We made something and have gone beyond all sorts of activities, we did our best.” In that sense, it’s an important keyword.

— Then, tell us about the visual. There seems to be white-coloured costumes in the past, but they aren’t dressy-like.

Based on the fact that all of the VALSHE so far have been intergraded in this album, I consulted with people around me about the costume. “Black? Red? Gold?” Looking back on the discography, I thought it was very multicoloured, though I was also told that white can be dyed in any colour, but in response to the theme of the anniversary: “Why not try a wedding dress on VALSHE? VALSHE will wear it cool.” Thus, the costume this time has a wedding dress-like design from the waist down, the top is a napoleon jacket that was very VALSHE-like.

— The MV started with receiving the key ring, but are those the same keys that VALSHE, the guardian, had in the 5th anniversary best song “DISPLAY”?

Various VALSHE that appeared in the past MVs appeared in 「DISPLAY」, but at the start of 「UNIFY」, VALSHE of the previous single 『ACE of WING』 handed over the key. 「DISPLAY」 ends with the latest VALSHE in a cell, which indicated that 「DISPLAY」 is also an old record, meaning, the moment when the work is seen, it becomes a thing of the past. The key has been handed down for a long time, and 「UNIFY」 is made to clarify that VALSHE will continue after celebrating its 10th anniversary. For those who sees this for the first time at this moment, that element may appear ordinary, but for those who had supported me for a long time, the choreography, situation and shooting methods of the past songs are included, if you follow VALSHE, I think there are many points to be noticed. The English sentences that appeared in the second half are also meaningful, it’s a content that you can understand by reading what you expressed in 「UNIFY」, so I hope fans who are good at English can translate and spread it (laughs)

— It seems that VALSHE always has a mystery every time

That’s right. Though not limited to MVs, I wanted to make this best album more meaningful to the people who have supported me so far. And by extension, I also want people who are new to VALSHE to know what VALSHE has done consistently for 10 years.

— Disc 1 also includes the self-cover 『Myself -DECADE-』,the title of the lead song in the debut mini album 『storyteller』, and the approach that has strengthen the rock-style is impressive. Disc 1 is mainly made up of songs from 2015 to the present, and while incorporating digital sounds, the use of live sounds are increasing, and I can feel the transition of VALSHE, where the rock-style has become stronger.

『Jitsuroku Kumonoito』(2015) and 『RIOT』(2017) are both turning points, and from that point on, there are more opportunities to make sounds with the band. From 「RIOT」, I became more involved in composing, so I personally think that Disc 1 is chapter 2 and Disc 2 is chapter 1. There were rock songs in the early days, but I wonder if the ratio of digital and live sound mixes has changed. Every time I think about the distribution of digital and rock, I did some trial and error and thought “I wonder if this is far apart?”. If you try to arrange the songs in the best way like this, the amount of ingredients will be different. Disc 1’s loud music, gets heavier by one-shot and one-shot, my ears felt busier in compared to Disc 2. I think that the sound of 「UNIFY」 controls that.

— What does VALSHE feel now when listening to the songs on Disc 2 in the first 5 years?

When it was newly mastered in the studio, the sound of joy was better, but when I listened to Disc 2 now, I often remember the people who were working together at the time, the events at the time, and things other than music.

— There were various milestones, such as the songs from the time where VALSHE has not revealed her face, and 「Butterfly Core」 (2013) being set as the theme song for the anime 『Detective Conan』

That’s right. However, Disc 2 has the basis of the sound that leads to the sound composition of Disc 1 at this time, so this is the one that was the starting point. I’m glad that I felt that it was in a single line after all when I managed it this way.

— Disc 2 also includes 「Butterfly on your Right Shoulder -2020-」 which is a new recording of the cover song 「Butterfly on your Right Shoulder」 posted on niconico douga by VALSHE before her debut. The new song 「Filament」　which concludes the end, was composed by Noripi and the lyrics were written by doriko, I was impressed by the sound as if it was congratulating VALSHE on the 10th anniversary.

I wanted to make the new song 「Filament」 for the 11th year, but I didn’t want to write this myself. This time, I was able to get involved with 「Butterfly on your Right Shoulder」, so I asked Noripi but told him that I would like him to write freely using the image of VALSHE. The lyrics have an affinity with 「UNIFY」, so I asked doriko, who can be said to be the only witness of VALSHE.

— is it because he has been involved in activities for 10 years?

That’s right. He is also a member of Team VALSHE, and he has seen various events, including private ones, from the standpoint of a third party. I asked him, “Become a witness, write down the VALSHE you’ve seen.” The keyword “Certify” sometimes appears in 「UNIFY」, so I thought that a witness was necessary for this Best album.

— The lyrics “Let’s turn all the directed smiles and tears into power” reminds me of VALSHE, who has overcome various things, and “Let’s continue on for 100 years from now while thinking about Memento Mori” I also felt VALSHE’s attitude

I was frankly impressed when I read the lyrics for the first time. The title 「Filament」 is also an honour, I was told by doriko that “VALSHE is not an LED”, filament means the core of an incandescent light bulb, it looks like it shines on its own (laughs). He told me that VALSHE is not an LED that keeps the same amount of light with a single switch, but it shines as much as you pour heat into it, I was happy.

— 「Filament」’s position is the bridge to the future?

Yes. That’s why I put it at the end of Disc 2.

— The concept live ＜VALSHE CONCEPT LIVE 2020 「VVV -VALSHE VS VALSHE-」＞will be held at TSUTAYA-O-EAST on December 18th, but will the cards that announce activities on the special site will continue to gradually release in the future?

Yes. First of all, while enjoying the best of the 10th anniversary, I think that the days of being controlled by COVID-19 will continue, but while at that, I will do my best without giving up and turn all of the cards. I believe that each decision will be an important step for everyone, and I will continue my activities, so I hope you will follow me.

#valshe #valreport #doriko #noripi

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d2kvirus · 3 years

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Dickheads of the Month: January 2021

As it seems that there are people who say or do things that are remarkably dickheaded yet somehow people try to make excuses for them or pretend it never happened, here is a collection of some of the dickheaded actions we saw in the month of January 2021 to make sure that they are never forgotten.

Once again, we knew that Donald Trump wasn’t going to take losing well, but when a legion of his most boneheaded supporters storm the Capitol demanding the election result be overturned because a certain thin-skinned orange gobshite had spent several weeks screaming about electoral fraud and, by the way, also set the date of January 6th for some major event, even Mike Pence couldn’t sanction his buffoonery any longer - especially when said buffoonery involved him saying “I love you” to people who were guilty of sedition and, by the way, murder - all of which led to him finally, finally, getting the boot from various social media platforms

...all while Lauren Boebert appeared to be trying to help out the insurrectionists by livetweeting the location of Nancy Pelosi, presumably because Boebert forgot about that Glock she claims to take to work with her every day and was looking for a convenient meat shield, which naturally has nothing to do with her tweeting the day would be like 1776 earlier that morning

...but the real victim in all of this was Melania Trump as it interrupted a photo shoot she was doing, which she somehow thought it was a good idea to mention several days later in a statement riddled with two opinions: “both sides” and “me, me, me” which shows she didn’t realise the optics of rearranging the china as Washington burned around her

...but according to Laura Kuenssberg it was merely a “scuffle” at Congress, as opposed to an organised group attempting to stage an armed insurrection against the government complete with at least one member carrying zip ties

...and finally, we had Ian Austin reminded us that he’s still alive by saying the exact same thing would have happened in the UK with Jeremy Corbyn supporters storming parliament, as if that happened in the four years Corbyn was wishing Austin would go away, then did go away, but sadly didn’t go away

Once again the Tory government think they know better than virologists, epidemiologists and pharmacists with their one-two punch of thinking they can just mix and match the various vaccines available rather than give people two doses of the same vaccine, but they further weaken any chance of vaccination succeeding by ignoring Pfizer’s recommendation the second dose be given within three weeks of the first by adopting a policy of the second dose is given three months later, and it it’s just as likely to be the less effective but cheaper Oxford vaccine they get a dose of

...swiftly followed by the BBC did their bit to encourage people to get vaccinated by reporting a story of a nurse getting a dose of Covid six weeks after her first vaccination jab not by reporting how she was three weeks overdue for the second dose (or, if you prefer, six weeks before her second one) but simply saying that people vaccinated can get Covid, which goes beyond the BBC’s sociopathic inability to criticise Tory fuckups into being downright fucking dangerous - as does their putting sentient testicle Toby Young on Newsnight to say how we’re all overreacting as it's not as bad as all that

Of all the things proven liar Boris Johnson should have said when the UK’s Covid death toll officially passed 100,000 (as opposed to unofficially, which would have been last December), “We have done our best” was not it, because if their best includes not going into lockdown in order to protect landlords, having Dominic Cummings dictate herd immunity in spite the fact that you need vaccinated people for it to work, refusing to have quarantine at airports until July, thinking it would be a bright idea to tell people it’s their patriotic duty to go to the pub, giving them £10 vouchers to go to restaurants, putting children going back to school ahead of any concerns about every single school could become a petri dish and countless other horrifically mismanaged instances, then we should be kept up at night dreading what their worst would be

The fact that Chartwells were given a contract to provide free school dinners with a budget of £30, and the supposed lunches that arrived had £5 worth of food in them which begged the obvious question where the other £25 went, is appalling - but not surprising, as the Tory government gave them the contract and, equally unsurprising, Chartwells was founded by a Tory donor, and equally unsurprising their response to their grift being exposed was to tell all the public school clients they cater to a pack of lies while hoping nobody found out about them doing so...which worked about as well as you can guess

Something possessed the EU to ramp up the row over the AstraZenica vaccine not passing the rigorous tests for over-65s by threatening to trigger Article 16 and limit the number of vaccines that Northern Ireland received, and that something was it was hopelessly misguided as it allowed the Tories to get their hapless response to the pandemic off the front pages for a few days and let the Leave headbangers say this is why we left the EU...in spite this threat would have never been in play if we were still in the EU

There is no way to make jokes about Kellyanne Conway posting what was, in effect, revenge porn photos of her 16-year old daughter, because that sentence is so far out there that it is borderline incomprehensible

In the space of less than twenty seconds proven liar Boris Johnson claimed that there was no prior warning of the new strain of Covid, he had the SAGE paper stating it was coming which was handed to him last September held up in his face, and then said the government acted accordingly. Yes, you read that right, he claimed the government acted accordingly to something they had no prior warning about, which is literally impossible, all in the space of ten seconds

In the latest hire by the BBC which is cause for both comment and concern, they announced their new chairman would be Tory donor Richard Sharp, whose credentials for the position are being Rishi Sunak’s ex-boss at Goldman Sachs, donating at least £400,000 to the Tory party, and having no background in journalism whatsoever

Smirking bully Priti Patel said that the UK should have closed its borders in March 2020 in order to prevent the spread of Covid. Presumably she forgot that she was a.) Home Secretary in Marsh 2020 so could have done that, and b.) Home Secretary when she said that the borders should have been closed as that indicates she doesn’t know what’s going on

The terrifying world which Alison Pearson lives in has now started to cross over into our reality due to her responding to one of the four people she hasn’t blocked on Twitter calling her what she is - namely a liar - by siccing the Torygraph’s lawyers on them claiming libel, doing the usual cry bully tactic of learning the person she is harassing works for GlaxoSmithKline so promptly went to their CEO demanding he be fired, and howling about the hate campaign being waged against her - while telling the person, who was saying he was thinking suicidal thoughts after the pile-on that Pearson had instigated even after he had deleted the tweet and apologised , that “You’re finished”

Someday in the future, scholars will study Ted Cruz responding to Biden rejoining the Paris Climate Agreement within hours of getting his feet under the Oval Office desk by pontificating about how terrible it is that Biden is more interested in the citizens of Paris than the jobless of Pittsburgh and wonder just how somebody who doesn't know why the Paris Climate Agreement was named the Paris Climate Agreement ever got to be a senator

...and judging by how Lauren Boebert also latched onto this brainless rhetoric, not only can it be asked how she got to be a senator when she had the opportunity to actually realise Cruz’s mistake, she also begs the question how she can be a senator after her publicly trying to use Nancy Pelosi as a meat shield during the Capitol riots

Unifying force Keir Starmer stated that Labour should be devoting their time to fighting the Tory government rather than fighting court cases, somehow forgetting that by breaking the guidelines of the EHRC report (which he pledged to follow without question months before it was published) is the reason that they’re fighting court cases, and just so happens to be the reason why people are asking how a meeting attended by Starmer, Angela Rayner, Len McCluskey and others either didn't have a single person taking notes, which is David Evans’ entire defence, or they did take notes by quite conveniently lost them

Oh boy, did Wall Street cheerleaders not take it well when r/WallStreetbets exposed to the entire world that the stock market is little more than a game people play with other people’s money - because the teams the Wall Street cheerleaders support started losing, and all it took was a few Redditors investing in Gamestop and Bed Bath & Beyond

Nice of Shaun Bailey to remind everyone that he’s a Tory by giving his suggestion for how the homeless could get on the property ladder, namely by saving a minimum of £5000

Clearly Marjorie Taylor Greene didn’t get the memo about the Streisand Effect, as the first thing she did after taking her seat in the House of Representatives was go on a mass deleting spree of Facebook posts - which only served to draw attention to her video saying that Nancy Pelosi be executed for treason, her track record of spreading conspiracy theories about the Parkland and Sandy Hook shootings, and her claims that a Jewish space laser is responsible for the 2018 California wildfires

Insufferable self-promoter Jess Phillips got her 2021 off to a good start by tweeting out that, as Britait has happened, we should shut up and accept it. To the surprise of nobody other than insufferable self-promoter Jess Phillips, this led to a lot of people saying that, no, they will not accept an advisory referendum somehow being bolted onto the Ten Commandments, especially as numerous things that were promised wouldn’t happen such as a border in the Irish Sea, leaving Erasmus, losing freedom of movement, leaving the Common Market have all happened

It is wrong to say that smirking bully Priti Patel has lost 150,000 police files. The actual figure is closer to 400,000 - which begs the obvious question as to what those files were, for example if those files also happened to fall under the same category as the ones that 55-year old ex-minister Mark Francois might want to have disappear for the sake of convenience

At last CD Projekt Red took some responsibility for Clusterpunk 2077 being such a cyberfuck...if by “taking responsibility” you mean “taking responsibility, dumping it all on the QA testers, and saying that everyone should blame them for everything” - and then with perfect comedic timing CD Projekt Red released an update for Clusterpunk 2077 that was so broken they had to release a hotfix for their broken patch

Expenses-fiddler Robert Jenrick decided that the most important thing to protect in the United Kingdom at this exact moment in time is...statues. Not key workers, not the vulnerable, not any human life at all. Statues.

So either Rafael Behr wrote a column for The Guardian where he tried to blame Jeremy Corbyn for his heart attack which saw Guardian higher-ups remove that passage from their print edition but forgot to remove it from the online version of the article, or The Guardian deliberately left the passage in the online version of the column in order to get some form of engagement from rage clicks while allowing Behr to act as if he is suffering some great injustice

Of course it wouldn’t take long for Steve Baker to try and claim some spurious victory for Britait, namely him claiming that tampon tax he spent so long fighting against being abolished is proof of the sunlit uplands of our post-EU nation...which ignores the fact that a.) It had nothing to do with the EU in the first place, and b.) The fact that Baker voted to keep it in place in a 2015 Commons vote

Employer of the year WWE went for an interesting twofer, as one minute they were proudly stating that WrestleMania would go ahead with a prospective 30,000 in attendance without any concerns for social distancing or any other Covid preventative measures, and the next telling the wrestlers on their roster that they would not be supplying them with Covid vaccines at the exact same time the NBA were floating the idea of providing vaccines for all their players

Make no mistake, the criticism that Erik Lamela, Sergio Reguilon, Giovani Lo Celso and Manuel Lanzini have received due to the four of them flouting lockdown regulations to attend a New Year’s party is justified - however, the fact that Duncan Castles tried to chase a headline by claiming that Lo Celso and Lamela had tested positive for Covid in a swiftly-deleted tweet is a new low for the noted barrel scraping rumour monger

Self-awareness sceptic Laurence Fox was entirely predictable in his response to the news that talkRADIO had been booted from Youtube for repeated violations of their ToS, specifically the part about spreading Covid misinformation, screaming the usual things about being “cancelled” - and then, within hours, responded to the BBC announcing a plan of educational programming to help during Lockdown III by saying he will be shielding his children from being “indoctrinated” by the BBC’s “left-wing bias” - which not only means he’s cancelling the BBC, but also had people remember that Billie Piper has custody of his children so it's not like he can even enforce his rules on what his children can and cannot watch

...by the way, Fox said nothing about Lord Sumption appearing on the BBC’s Question Time (the same show where failed actor on the grift Laurence Fox announced his new career as a clueless right wing irritant) where he told a woman with bowel cancer that her life wasn’t valuable, it was merely less valuable as she has less life left. Yes, that is eugenics getting free airtime on the BBC, thanks for noticing

Somehow the best choice of words the BBC could find when reporting the death of Phil Spector was “talented but flawed” as if murder is some character flaw instead of, oh I don’t know, a criminal activity?

You would have thought that Twitch would have simply retired the PogChamp emote permanently in the wake of Gootecks going all insurrectionist, but no, instead they thought of having a rotating cycle of emotes of various creators, in spite of those creators telling them this would be a bad idea - and those creators were proven right when Critical bard was inundated with racist and homophobic abuse in his chat that led him to close his social media profiles when he was selected for rotation, with Twitch doing fuck all about it

Fashion editor no matter what she claims she is Hadley Freeman had a really clever take about The Sopranos...actually, no she didn’t, she had an absurd belief that it’s the exact same show as Sex in the City but people overlook it Because Misogyny, and when she was lambasted for missing the point so badly she had noted dipshit David Baddiel rushing in to her rescue to mock those getting “triggered” by her insipid take while saying he never liked The Sopranos because, as he isn't an Italian-American mobster, the show did not speak to him - in other words, he made himself a subject of equal mockery

...but there was no sign of Baddiel when Hadley Freeman then jumped on the BidenErasedWomen bandwagon alongside the TERFs of Twitter as soon as Biden got his feet under the desk, which also happened to show hard centrist extremist Freeman say how she thought Trump did far more for women than Biden ever has, which as takes go is so bad that the best explanation is that she briefly forgot the difference between the words “for” and “to”, before she then deleted the tweet and tried to deny ever posting it with increasingly nonsensical explanations that rapidly looked uncannily like gaslighting

...although David Baddiel wasn’t quite done being a bellend, as he was soon yukking it up with professional victim Rachel Riley about his latest book which accuses the entire progressive left of antisemitism

The oppressed underclass known as Manchester United fans really showed their colours, first by responding to a loss to Sheffield United by sending racial abuse to Axel Tuanzebe and Anthony Martial on social media, and a couple of weeks later responded to a draw with Arsenal by sending racial abuse to Marcus Rashford, because apparently when your team drops points the most important thing is to look for which member of your team you can racially abuse

And finally, oh so finally, we have Donald Trump and his discovery of electoral fraud at last - electoral fraud that consisted of Donald Trump calling Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger demanding he change the result and all he needs is Raffensperger to “find” 11,780 votes while also saying that he had proof of vote-counting machines being removed early...and when told they were still in Georgia, changed his lie to say the inner workings had been removed without anyone noticing. By the way, the only reason anyone knows about this is because Raffensperger told Trump that he wouldn’t release the call to the public if Trump didn't say anything about it - so, of course, the Orange Overlord took to twitter, ran his mouth, and the Washington Post had one hell of an exclusive as a result

#dickheads of the month

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blackfemmecharacterdependency · 4 years

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20. Sink

Word Count: 3989 Trigger warnings for religion and mentions of child pornography

Lord, if it’s you,” (Simon) Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” “Come,” he said. Then (Simon) Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”

Matthew 14:28-30

Simon had never been very religious. Scratch that… Simon had never been very mystical about religion. Whenever he was younger, his family went to church and he was quite studious and learned a lot in that time period. His father still believed in God and country or whatever and his grandmother, he imagined was praying over his mom every single day. But, he had never really known what it felt like to have that kind of faith in anyone or anything… until he was given Grace. It wasn’t lost on him the religious implications of being a boy named Simon (like Simon Peter, aka The Apostle Peter - huge name in the Bible world) being granted a savior, being blessed with Grace after a terrible sin, whether intentional or not, of killing Hope… His mind was in a daze right now.

It was the fourth religious dream he had since that interview, and in this one, he was Simon Peter, calling to his Savior in the storm. Grace was just across the water. All he had to do was get to her and she would rescue him from all of this, just like she always used to. But, he looked at the impending storm, instead. He had Grace, but he was focused on the storm, and he sank… He jumped up from his sleep and literally felt like he had been drowning. Ugh. 10 years of church and 4 years of private school could definitely mess with one’s mind. Then again, so could 6 years of Grace and 5 years without it… her…

He had begun to try to stop rationalizing that she wasn’t human. Unfortunately for him, before he considered her the void, she hadn’t been human for him either, then. She had been a deity. He worshipped her. She had been a vessel to save him, to help him, to comfort him. She had been what he built his faith system upon, his religion, his Apex, his lifestyle… Then, she was gone and he tried to continue without her. He tried to rebuild in his own image, in his own name. He tried to walk on water, as he had seen her do, now all he was doing was sinking…

In the aftermath of the interview, Simon noted that his faithful followers went on one of their ravenous attacks in Shana’s comment sections. She could even just post a photo of herself in the newsroom at Spelman as an inspirational post and they appeared in her comments to berate her for speaking about inspiration when she would attack an abuse survivor and have his abuser on her show, trying to make her sympathetic. Shana seemed entertained for some of the comments, replying things like a simple “K” or “Lol” and never addressing the person again, even if they supplied a melee of character attacks at her.

But, on the video link, whenever people started also attacking Grace’s fakeness and the fact that she still gets to abuse Simon indirectly by doing things like this, Shana had enough. She let them know that she had no regrets about the interview with Grace, no regrets about anything that she said about Simon, and none about all of her opinions of him. “Even if he’s a different person today, considering that he never got any backlash for the sex tape from high school, which i firmly STILL believe that he should be held accountable for, which I am convinced that he leaked, and I think that if he’s truly changed, he would have wanted to make that right at some point and free Grace from the uninvited attacks for that CRIME AGAINST HER, committed by him.”

There was an explosion of mixed reactions. Everything from, “This is the first that I’m hearing of this” to “Simon would never have done anything like that to Grace” to “WHERE CAN I FIND A SEX TAPE OF SIMON AND GRACE???” Many people were blocked. Many people were rocked, as Shana went live to address the massive amount of comments coming from her spilling that tea.

She made mention of the facts that while the statute of limitations of revenge porn had been exceeded, they didn’t exist for child porn. “And in case anybody is confused, yes, I am including links to inform you about how what he did is in fact child pornography creation, possession, and distribution, AND what the law says concerning them.” After replying to many of the comments, mostly in an amused fashion, she got bored.

“Listen, I’m getting ready to go chill with my lady and get ready for class tomorrow, but I’ll just say this one more thing, “I’m not taking my foot off of Simon Laurent’s neck. As long as Grace has had to suffer in silence, because she’s no longer the vengeful type or whatever, she’s on right now in her journey, the journalist in me and the enraged victim in me will always come for Simon and the way he used the privilege that he did have - not to say that he didn’t lack in certain areas like money and common decency, but the ones he DID have - his race, his gender, his orientation, his proximity to education, etc, in order to vilify and humble this girl with false accusations of crimes, and get away with unconfessed crimes. Yeah, this IS about my Sassy Strawberry keychain, Simon you bitch! I know you watching. To those of you who can’t be bothered to use your Googles, I don’t know what to tell you, kinfolk. Shady Shana has said all that she needs to say for now. Tata, from the perfect place for shade.”

Then her accusations, the search for the information of said accusations and the buzz from back then resurfacing went even more viral than the things that he had said about Grace whenever he reached notoriety from the stories. Now that the Internet and social media were even bigger and just kept growing with time, Grace still being a huge public persona, despite the few short years that she wasn’t online and the time she had been inside, she made an explosive comeback at least as an Internet personality, and Simon was never as frequent online as he was a short time in the eye of the public to get himself established, but several professors had used his story for various seminars and lectures, his books did pretty well, and he was a very established young mind in his academic circles… So, he was a big deal in his world, but on the grand scale becoming infamous for this new attention.

Shana and Grace’s worlds were very large, and both of those were combining to infiltrate his world with these not necessarily new pieces of information, but things that he thought would have been forgotten or left alone. He had not even considered that Shana would ever… Like… why was SHE so damn upset? Because of a small scuffle? Because of somebody else’s alleged injustice? Somebody that she didn’t even LIKE for most of her life? “Journalist” she was a shit-stirrer! All of her muckraking was making things complicated for simple Simon. He didn’t like that. He didn’t like dreaming about Grace as his savior. He didn’t like the idea of reaching out to her to get her to grab her dog. He didn’t like that he was suffering from nights more sleepless than usual and beginning to become counterproductive in his work.

Worrying about ramifications of the words “child pornography” and “sexual predator” being tossed about in conversations with his name led to nightmares, paranoia, guilt, intrusive thoughts, and mistakes in class and at work. One of them turned out big…

Amelia came up to him in her lab, with her arms folded and her face stern, “Is there anything you think we should discuss, Mr. Laurent?” He frowned and glanced her way, still working on the formula for the next tests in the prosthetics serum they were spending time discussing as one of his potential next big things. She raised her eyebrows and asked, “Not even an acknowledgment of what I’m speaking of?”

“I know what you’re speaking of and I decided that no, we don’t need to discuss it. It’s a personal matter.”

“A personal matter? Simon, you are supposed to be seeing a counsellor once a week, and now I find out that not only did he recommend that you see him twice a week, but that you haven’t seen him in several weeks! It is part of your ability to stay here, and I don’t appreciate that you’ve ducked out on this requirement, especially considering the personal matter you’re referring to.”

He furrowed his eyebrows and set down his supplies. “This is about the shrink? I haven’t been able to see the guy, because I’ve been working on the new formula nonstop. I need a breakthrough, and if I can get the formula right for enhancing the prosthetics, I’ll be famous for that. I’ll be closer to the goal of enriching artificial organs, maybe even organic ones!”

“I know what this work would mean if successful. That isn’t the point. The point is that you are not allowed to be here without the help that you need and you agreed to. I’m going to have to speak to the committee, now that I know you haven’t been…” She turned and he caught her wrist really hard. The woman jerked away. She was stronger than he thought.

“Amelia… Please. I need this. People are out to get me. Out to destroy everything that I’ve built for myself, without parents, without love, without an inheritance. I got here on my own merit, my own mind! I can’t have it be the thing that gets me sent away.”

“You needed to consider that after we gave you another chance! We can’t keep going back and forth with you while you refuse to take the help that you need in order to get to your next rung!” She was loud. He felt like she was yelling at him. He didn’t like people yelling at him, especially women, especially older ones… It made him extremely angry and he yelled right back at her, only to find that she either hadn’t been yelling or she had an even louder yelling setting.

“I’M DOING MY GODDAMN BEST!”

“MAYBE YOUR BEST ISN’T GOOD ENOUGH!”

And in addition to the yelling, the thing yelled was extremely hurtful. But, Simon was an angry hurt type. So, he was hurt, but it manifested in anger, “LIKE YOURS WASN’T! YOU HATE ME BECAUSE I CAN BE A BETTER YOU!” She laughed. That made him even angrier. “ADMIT IT! YOU’RE SO HARD ON ME BECAUSE I AM BETTER THAN YOU!”

“Simon, you’re a child. A foolish, often incorrect child. There are many things that I credit as better than me. You aren’t one of them.” He was breathing hard and clenching his fists. “I advise you to immediately set an appointment with your therapist and I demand that you leave the lab at once. At the very least, you need to take a break. At worse… you broke our agreement, Simon.” She began to touch his research, to put everything away, as he stormed out, trying not to let her see him cry and trying not to explode in the lab and further mess things up for himself. He didn’t get far before there was a different explosion in there. Not an extremely loud one, but loud enough that he turned around as others rushed in.

Simon got on the phone, calling the last counselor that he had spoken to as everyone else scurried about trying to get help and rushing in various directions. “She was just arguing with Laurent, he rushed out and then this happened,” he heard someone say and he watched the three students who had been talking stop and look right at him. “Are you calling 911?” One of them asked. He shook his head, because he hadn’t been. Once again, it wasn’t his first thought when he witnessed an emergency. One of them grabbed their phone out, presumably to do so and he… left. He probably should have stayed, but he couldn’t breathe and needed some space and needed to rage.

It didn’t take others long to start whispering. Simon had found a dumpster to kick for a while before returning to the scene and seeing them rushing Amelia into an ambulance. Police were there and wanted to talk with him. He knew that people would talk. They had been talking. He also knew that sometimes he imagined that people were talking more than they actually were and he hoped that perhaps, this would be one of those times that he imagined the criticism. It was not.

On top of the internet’s allegations of child pornography, learning that the state of California might be investigating these allegations, for the Monroe Estate, and being questioned about his chemical engineering “mistake” with the formula that became unstable as Professor Hughes attempted to put it away…

Simon was whatever the opposite of numb was. He felt all things, everything, anything, all at once and at a peak. He hadn’t felt this way in a really long time and the only times he had, he had Grace to think of and settle him. After that, he had his own greatness to reflect upon… but that was slipping away from him and Grace had slipped away… No… He had shoved her away, and he needed her so much right now. Because he didn’t know if he could pull himself up from sinking. “Lord save me!” He heard himself yelling from the water in the storm… But Grace couldn’t hear him. She was too far away, and she wasn’t his savior anymore. He looked up for something to latch onto, but all there was, was the Void.

Its big black, form, with an aura of fluid black smoke, and hovered over him and charged at him, its face stopping just short of his own and he looked up to see it. It was nothing but a pale mask, much like one of the ones that Grace used to wear. Maybe… Maybe she was still inside of the void somewhere. Maybe she would rescue him after all. “Grace?” he called, “Is that you?” It had nothing in it’s face. No feeling, no warmth. There was no way that Grace was there. It had no reply. He blinked it away and looked at the police. They had just released him… so… something had saved him… for now. Probably just dumb luck, or lack of evidence. There had to be a lack of evidence, because he knew that he had done nothing wrong.

Despite having done nothing wrong, he had apparently made some type of mistake with the formula, but he figured it was more likely that Amelia had made some mistake in putting it away. It was too soon to voice that opinion. Students were upset, like she was some lovable figure. She was a bitch. He didn’t feel bad at all that she was hurt and he hoped that nobody expected him to act like he did. But, they were talking again. He felt like whenever he was a freshman at the academy and the staff and students didn’t appreciate him because they hadn’t seen his value yet… but these people knew him. He was important! He was significant now! He had done everything to become valuable and honored, including giving up Grace when she was holding him back!

“Simon, it sounds like you’re just blaming everyone else for your problems again.”

“I’m only saying what happened. I matter, and they treat me like I don’t. They look at me like I’m a criminal. They’re handling me like I haven’t done great things! Like they haven’t heard of me or something! Who do they think they are?”

“To not value you? Maybe they’re just strangers, Simon. You’ve spoken to me a few times, and I don’t know you, either. That doesn’t take away from anything that you might have done, but it doesn’t give me the insight that you have of yourself. The same can be said about any of the people here,” the counsellor said. Simon resumed his meetings, but it was too little too late, as he was called back to the committee.

Grace was really just trying to enjoy her life. She only did the interview with Shana because Shana had REALLY come through in finding Hazel for her. She explained to the people keeping Hazel how she knew her and how she found her (not mentioning Shana’s name, but that she “hired an investigator”) mainly because she just wanted to see how Hazel was doing. The short answer was “not great,” but the long answer was Grace hated the fact that everyone that she talked to about Hazel didn’t seem to really know her or how to deal with her. That made her afraid that Hazel would continue to get bounced around, and eventually be lost to her again. After being approved as someone who could visit and spend time with Hazel (a longer process than she would have liked, and one that she knew could have been shortened if she just went crawling back to her parents), but one that was worth the work, because not only was she able to see Hazel and talk to her, but she also got her a phone, in case they were separated again and Hazel needed to reach out to her.

The last thing that Grace wanted to do was be dragged into Simon’s situation. So, whenever people asked her about him, sent her messages, intruded into her comments, @ her in posts… she declined from responding. She made a statement on her linked social media accounts, reminding everyone that 1. She doesn’t speak about Simon. 2. She said everything that she intended to say to people outside of the situation to Shana in the interview. 3. She is not responsible for Shana’s feelings about the incident in question (the recording and sharing of the recording) 4. She has never spoken to anyone but Simon about the incident in question and doesn’t plan on going much more in depth with anybody about it any time soon.

Whenever asked about the recording, since she did say in the statement that she had spoken with Simon about it, and it was presumed that meant that maybe they had made it together and it got leaked, as those things tend to do, she confirmed that she didn’t know anything about the recording until after everyone else had seen it, that she doesn’t like to think about it or that time in her life because it was one of her most embarrassing and painful experiences and she doesn’t want to have to relive it simply because people are curious about these details that don’t affect them one way or another…

People were relentless and dedicated to being in other people’s business. What about Simon? It affects Simon! Why aren’t you helping clear Simon’s name? Why are you still hurting Simon? What about affecting Simon? She’d punch every last one of these people in the mouth, just like she did Simon when she found out, if they were in front of her. Even, now, being someone trying very hard to be peaceful and patient… “Simon already knows everything about that time that I would be able to say, so telling anyone else anything wouldn’t help him or me. If I was silent about it whenever it might have actually changed my trajectory in a favorable way, I’m certainly not going to begin going off about it now that I’ve been given another chance at a positive life, despite the things that caused me pain. Simon knows more than I do and more than you. Perhaps you should ask him, if you want someone who doesn’t seem to mind speaking about these subjects.”

That was what did it. Simon watched in a panic as former Apex members, arose to defend Grace and admit that during the time, Simon was open with certain people about having orchestrated the recording and using it to oust Grace from her throne. “We were mean kids, and I don’t know if we thought far ahead enough to really see what something like that could do to somebody. We all found it either funny or scary and weren’t brave enough to stand up for her back then, but Grace did nothing wrong and people should let her live her life instead of bringing this back up and hurting her again.” They basically all said some variation of that.

He became immediately notorious as #GraceDidNothingWrong began trending and multiple Apex members, former nonessentials, declared nulls, and actual victims of some of Simon’s direct attacks come forward, opening up about their experiences with Simon’s Apex, the Apex in general, including anecdotes, quotes, confessions, etc to further prove Simon’s guilt. To top it off Simon was put on academic probation as everything unfolded including the way he had been handling his psychiatric deal with the committee being unmet and the negligence that led to Professor Hughes’ accident. When he began losing various deals, gets major backlash for the accident, on top of the allegations of child pornography being investigated, he began to spiral as he considered possible charges from CA to MA. He deleted all of his social media accounts and shadow cyberstalked Grace, only to see that she really wasn’t participating in all of this.

He was SO CLOSE to his first Master’s degree. He couldn’t let all of this throw away his future! He was young and stupid and maybe he was wrong, but he wasn’t going to say that and he definitely didn’t feel like he deserved to be punished for it right now!

He had been trying not to think about that interview, but the more he tried not to think about it, the more he obsessed over it - over her wondering how he was doing, over the potential for her to actually still care. It was so stupid. It was foolish. There was no way that she really felt like that, but all of his distraction had caused him to possibly make some type of stupid mistake. The police were investigating, but he was the main one working in the lab, so whatever happened was most likely due to some type of misstep on his part. He certainly had not rigged anything to explode in Professor Hughes’ face, like some seemed to be trying to suggest!

The fact that they did not get along wasn’t very helpful to him. The argument right before it happened made it even more suspicious, and where they should have been able to speak with his psychiatrist to ensure that he was doing fine… he hadn’t been consistent with any long enough for them to know that he was doing fine… which brought attention back on him from the committee, which he guessed felt like he was jumping through loopholes in their deal. He saw the Void again, it's voice like a chorus of succubi singing, “I’ve come to take everything from you. It’s what you deserve.”

He rushed to the airport. He didn’t even have a place to stay. He rushed to the Monroe’s, snuck into their gate and beat on the door. It was 2 am, but he couldn’t wait. The Void was after him, and he NEEDED his Grace.

#If They Didn't Get on the Train #AU Infinity Train #Infinity Train #Nesha Fanfiction #Infinity Train Fanfiction #fics

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hotarutranslations · 3 years

Text

Not Posted Yet!

Evening Ishida Ayumi

Up To Boy vol. 303

Released today

Fukumura Mizuki x Ishida Ayumi

This time its this combo, We produced each other,

It’s the 9th and 10th generation series!

Thank you to those who have seen it!

Those who preordered it, You may have to wait a bit more for it?

For me and Fukumura-san as well, We’ve been in black outfits in what has been posted thus far, There is also a different patterned shoot,

These offshots,

I don’t think,

There are many people who have seen it yet so,

I wont post them yet

By all means! In the magazine! Properly! Check out the phoots! Please!

What kind of Fukumura-san I wanted to express,

Its also published in an interview so!

Fukumura-san’s fans as well, I hope that you will think its wonderful ❤

I forgot to communicate with everyone……

Hello Pro Dance Academy

Yesterday, it finally aired!

Tap Dance Complete Performance

We did it…… Did you watch it!

We danced to Utakata Saturday Night!

I’m sorry for the late notice……

But is it ok (?)

22 (Sat) 8:30~ 23 (Sun) 5:30PM~ 24 (Mon) 8:30~ 25 (Tue) 12:30~ 27 (Thurs) 11:30~

There are still reruns airing!

(every day! Lol)

Tap dance…… I was really nervous about it but

The teacher was always brightening the atmosphere, When it seemed like it was, hm-I can’t do it! they would stir things up like, it feels good--!

Also I practiced it many times with the members too,

For me 1 time really, I couldn’t really do the rhythm for the B melo, It felt like I was going to cry, I was super frustrated with myself,

Everyone really kept me company

#4 will air for the first time on June 3rd (Thurs) Look forward to that as well~

Gaokki mobile battery,

It also charges digital cameras

Today really,

Eh!? the battery died with this timing!? it was like that,

I was saved by the mobile battery that I brought just in case…… Thanks to you I was able to shoot a dance…… Gaokki, thank you… ❤

Vote today as well ❤

I got all sweaty by myself

(But when I watched the video I laughed at how badly I did so its not complete…I’m sorryyy…)

Lol

Announcement Towards Morning Musume ’21’s Oda Sakura Performance Limitations

Everyone, I’m sorry to have worried you

Excuse me

Towards restraining her movement, In this way, No matter what others say, Since its up to the persons body to decide,

Tomorrow and the day afters concert, If you’re going to Bird,

Please enjoy it while looking over her~

For me tomorrow, its an Ehime concert

Since there wont be catering, It seems like, I wont be able to eat the barley miso soup that a lovelovelove……

But I’m really looking forward to the concert!

My first stage reading,

Stage Reading “Uchi Gekijo Onstage” tickets are on preorder

Click Here For Fan Club Members

See you ayumin ❤

https://ameblo.jp/morningmusume-10ki/entry-12675903022.html

#Ishida Ayumi #Morning Musume '21 #Morning Musume #Hello! Project #Translation #Blog

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newmayhem · 3 years

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Character analysis: Aubrey (Part 1)

Because this post heavily refers to direct quotations from the author and the OG text, I’ll stick calling everyone by their original names throughout (as I usually do when I’m talking specifically about the original iteration and in quotations). But elsewhere on the site, I typically refer to everyone by different names in all other situations.

Aubrey is both easier and harder to pin down than either Risika or Alexander. He gets a decent amount of screentime in ITFOTN both DIMV. Whereas in ITFOTN we’re seeing him exclusively through Risika’s pov, DIMV is narrated in the 3rd person so we also get to see him more objectively, and because he’s more of a hero in that book, we get to see a different side of him.

Still, what’s going to make him slightly harder to articulate is that his motives in ITFOTN have never been explicitly spelled out in the text, and we also never got to see his pre-vampire history so we don’t really know what shaped him.

I’m going to split his character analysis into three sections- Aubrey’s motives re: Risika/ITFOTN, Aubrey’s personality/worldview according to the og text, and a (re)imagining/reverse engineering of Aubrey’s’ personal history.

Motives

It seems a little backwards to start with looking at his motivations, but this being Risika’s story, it makes the most sense to examine Aubrey in relation to Risika. For me, the most interesting part is trying to figure out exactly why he keeps popping up in Risika’s narrative. It’s never covered in the og text, and that makes sense because this is being told from Risika’s pov and she doesn’t care about Aubrey’s motivations, only about the disastrous results of them. Which is more than fair, tbh.

Like I said, we don’t get any explanation of Aubrey’s motives in ITFOTN, but we do get clues in DIMV as well as some Word of God statements from ahar, and the excerpts from Black Flame (an unpublished TDOS story from Aubrey’s POV).

Quotes From Chapter 10 of Demon in My View:

More than her physical appearance, Jessica had a rare aura of strength about her. Aubrey remembered Ash Night's describing him as having the same kind of aura while he had been human, but he had seen it in very few others. Risika had been one of the exceptions; that strength had drawn Aubrey to her before she had ever caught Ather's eye.

And you can read these two excerpts from Black Flame on the Nyeusigrube-haven blog, which archives quotes, fanart, clips, and words of god about The Den of Shadows series. I’ll reblog them later just so I have a copy on hand.

From a blog post of ahar’s entitled Perspectives from 9/3/15:

“When it comes to Aubrey's and Risika's complex relationship, In the Forests of the Night is only half the story. Someday, I would love to release a revised and extended version that includes Aubrey's point of view in addition to Risika's. Here are a few details it might include:

Pandora had claimed Alexander as a student; he had attacked Ather, and she had decided to retaliate by killing Alexander's sister Rachel. Why didn't she? Who do you think convinced her it would be better to change Rachel into a vampire instead of killing her?

After her change, when Risika was weak due to her refusal to feed, who convinced her that she needed to hunt?

Who finally baited her into fighting him, proving her strength and taking her rightful place as a force to be reckoned with among her own kind?

Aubrey has been around a couple thousand years. Do you think it's more likely he's stupid, or more likely that he's manipulative? Rachel never wanted to be a vampire, and maybe would have preferred death at Ather's hands back in 1704 (Did I get that date right? I don't have the text in front of me) but long-story-short: Aubrey saw her first, had his options limited by Ather's bloodclaim... and didn't want Rachel dead.

Try rereading In the Forests of the Night sometime with this point of view.”

And most recently (3/2/20, to be exact), ahar posted some more details in the Nyeusigrube discord server (in the Den Of Shadows channel) under the username Nesrerai (Note that I made some formatting edits to make it more readable. No edits to the content have been made).:

“Someday I'd love to rewrite an "extended edition" of In the Forests of the Night showing more of the back-story. I wrote some of it out in an Aubrey background/POV book that was TERRIBLE and shall never see the light of day but was good for author-knowledge.

Key event relevant to this conversation was that Alexander attacked Ather. Ather couldn't kill him because he was Pandora's, but that didn't protect Rachel, so she planned to go after Rachel in retaliation. Aubrey encouraged her to change her instead, as a more effective form of punishment for Alexander, because he didn't want Rachel killed. Aubrey is more powerful than Ather, but she had blood claim on the family so he had to go manipulative instead of direct.

He was tracking Rachel before Ather got involved. He has a sorcery background, and has an interest in the powerful but untrained. Also, she's Jager's lover's daughter, so he was keeping an eye out. If I recall my notes/drafts right, he was more or less at the "I wonder whether it's more trouble with Jager and Lila than it's worth if I mess with this family" stage. Keeping the kids safe was kiiiiiiind of part of the deal that kept Lila in line ... which is why Mayhem burned down shortly after Rachel was first there... which in turn put Mayhem/Silver's line in a vulnerable position while they were trying to gain power, so they hired a spoiler to knock Midnight down a peg.”

Findings To avoid redundancies, I’ll list out all of the findings and then cite the specific sources in brackets:

Aubrey has a very different version of how ITFOTN went down (i.e., he did not see himself as Risika’s antagonist). [BF; blog]

Aubrey was a sorcerer when he was a human, so he’s always had an interest in those who were very powerful but untrained -> he was drawn to Risika because he saw a rare aura of strength around her, one that he himself had as a human. [DIMV; discord]

Risika had initially caught Aubrey’s attention and he had been tracking her well before Ather ever got involved. [DIMV; BF; blog; discord]

Ather initially wanted to kill Rachel, but Aubrey was the one who convinced Ather to change her into a vampire instead. [BF; blog; discord]

Aubrey was trying to help Risika all along [blog]

Aubrey manipulated Risika into drinking from her stepmother in order to show her that she needs to hunt/feed regularly.[blog]

He got frustrated when he pushed her down and she didn’t get up right away. [ITFOTN]

Aubrey purposefully provoked Risika into fighting him (in public) with the intention of getting her to prove her strength and take her rightful place as a force to be reckoned with among their kind. [blog]

Aubrey was considering changing Risika himself (among other options that didn’t involve her dying) [BF; blog (implied)]

Aubrey didn’t want Risika dead [BF; blog; discord]

Aubrey saw it as a plus that Ather would take the blame for changing Risika. [BF]

Aubrey knew that Alexander was still alive and actively conspired with Pandora to keep the twins apart so that Alexander wouldn’t interfere. [BF]

Aubrey argued with Alexander when he came looking for Risika, meaning that up to present day, he was still trying to keep them apart. [ITFOTN]

*It’s also worth noting that in a facebook video, ahar confirms that Aubrey has a lot of respect for Risika

There are also some other findings in the discord post re:Lila Light, but that’s tangential and I’ll be covering those in a separate post.

Questions Basically, Aubrey was drawn to Risika for reasons unrelated to the situation with Ather (namely, her strength). He’s heavily invested in Risika’s survival to the point where he was actively manipulating the situation both in the initial stage of having Ather change her instead of kill her, and then later on in trying to help her. Not only did he want Risika to survive, he also wanted her to ‘take her rightful place as a force to be reckoned with among her own kind’.

But we’re left with the overall question- what was Aubrey’s endgame? This effort was clearly very calculated, time consuming, and required a lot of effort and attention (I mean, how did he seem to always know where to find her? And how did he know she hadn’t been feeding regularly?). So how did Aubrey see any of this benefiting him?

So we know that Aubrey was drawn to Risika’s strength/power/potential, but to what end? Based on the blog post, Aubrey was considering a few different options for Risika before Ather’s bloodclaim forced his hand. What were those options? We know he was considering changing her himself, but again, to what end? Was she meant to be part of some larger plan he had? Clearly, she was important enough for him to go out of his way to manipulate Ather into not killing her.

Possible Explanations The least exciting explanation, I think, would be that Aubrey wanted to sire a strong fledgeling...for the clout? I mean, it happens! Ather does it, but she does it out of necessity- Aubrey doesn’t need strong fledgelings to protect him or scare off his enemies. And the fact that he saw having Ather change Risika as a preferable result implies that he just wanted Risika to be changed regardless of whether it was by him or not. Which is also interesting.

Another explanation could be that Aubrey planned to use Risika’s powers (or her potential powers) for his own personal gain. This seems very unlikely. I can’t picture a plausible scenario for this and even if this were the case, it doesn’t make sense that he would keep treating Risika the way that he does, knowing that it alienates her. I also find it hard to believe that he’d wait three centuries for her to come around rather than move on to other targets.

Additionally, Aubrey was setting Risika up to ‘take her rightful place as a force to be reckoned with among her own kind’...and that would effectively set her up as his competition, which is the exact opposite of his goal if we were to go with this possibility.

A similar but slightly more plausible explanation is that Aubrey was ‘recruiting’ on behalf of Silver’s line. We know that Mayhem at the time was in an intense rivalry with Midnight, so they’d probably be in need of strong fledgelings. Word of God has also mentioned that Silver’s line is one of the least prolific because they are serious about only siring the strongest. It tracks that Aubrey came across Risika and her unusual strength/power, and saw that she was the perfect candidate. That could be why he was not only ok with Ather changing her (rather than him doing it himself), but he also took responsibility for Risika survival and ‘education’ after she was changed. Maybe he wanted Risika changed no matter the cost because they couldn’t afford any lines loyal to Midnight getting to her first.

But if this were the case, why was Aubrey the only one looking out for Risika? Why would he still try to convince her to prove herself centuries after? And if siring and training new powerful fledgelings who would fight for Silver’s line was a priority at the time, why were there no other fledglings during this time period? Generally, this just seems like a very flawed and inefficient plan. Training fledgelings takes time and energy that could be better used to fight Midnight directly and, as we see in Risika’s case, their loyalty isn’t even guaranteed.

Conclusion This may seem like a cop out...but I feel like in this case, we’ll have to go Occam's razor. The answer that seems the least complicated- so uncomplicated that I haven’t even mentioned it until now- is that Aubrey feels some type of affection for Risika.

This might not necessarily be romantic or anything like that (though that’s definitely a possibility). It could just be that he recognizes some of himself in her and feels a sense of kinship, but it’s obvious that Aubrey cares a lot about what happens to Risika. He wants her to succeed and repeatedly goes out of his way to keep tabs on her and help her even if it inconveniences him, even if it puts his own status at risk (I don’t think he planned on losing the fight, but he must’ve known that in order for her to come out of it looking good, he would’ve to win by a much smaller margin than normal for him). He didn’t care if she hated him and never realized that this was all to help her, it was more important to him that she survived and thrived. And he was willing to do all this over the span of centuries.

The big counter-argument for this is that in ITFOTN, Aubrey does say “Remember this, Risika—I have no love for you. I think you are weak, and I don't care about your morals. If you challenge me again, you will lose.” But for me, his actions speak louder than words, and it makes sense that because he’s trying to get her to be tougher and to fight back so that she could survive, he’s not going to be gentle with her or let her expect help from him. And, I mean, he could’ve killed her right then and there if he wanted to, but he actually let her get away with a lot (she called him a lap dog, slapped him, spat on him, broke his knee cap, and lived to tell the tale).

Anyway, the beauty of this explanation is that it would be really interesting to explore, but won’t get too convoluted. I think it would be really interesting to go deeper into:

Possible parallels between Aubrey and Risika.

The dramatic irony of Aubrey’s well-intentioned efforts contrasted with Risika’s perception of them.

Aubrey as a foil for Alexander and a rival for influence over Risika (and how Risika breaks free from both of them in the end).

Aubrey’s feelings regarding how terribly received his ‘help’ has been and why he keeps choosing to help her regardless.

How it’s also kind of messed up that Aubrey decided that he knew what was best for her and mercilessly imposed that on her despite her clear lack of consent (or knowledge).

The nature of Aubrey’s affection for Risika, how it compares to Alexander’s, and if/how it has evolved.

This is probably beyond the scope of this rewrite, but I’d also be interested in some sort of ‘deleted scene’ type epilogue where Aubrey and Risika (post-fight) have a real conversation/confrontation about all this.

#In the Forests of the Night #amelia atwater rhodes #Nyeusigrube #Den of Shadows #aubrey x risika #aubrey #characters #Andros #character analysis

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