#and is basically given an ultimatum to stay and work her ass off or try to survive out there with the freakers

[phoenix-angel-suyari]

I was gonna make a post about something else entirely, but I am so freaking angry I can’t breathe. So we’re gonna talk about this instead. 

Under a cut so people can get on with their days. 

I am a grown ass adult. Let’s just start there. Because for all my damn family want me to do the grown up shit like own a house and get married and have babies, they refuse to fucking treat me like a grown ass adult. Ever since I started going to therapy, I have been not necessarily healing, but maybe just shifting. Changing. My therapist is starting to help me figure out how to take back my life from their control so I can break free once and for all in a way they can’t undo. This however, is making it very difficult to live. And she is aware of this. We’ve discussed this. She warned me there’d be push back and I’d have to remain strong and hold my ground and I am trying so damn hard. But, like, I am unemployed and I have no money - I know, I know we’ve heard all this before; it bears repeating for the validity of this post - so I’m kind of stuck, like, seriously stuck. 

I have attempted to get out before and suffice it to say, it’s never worked out. My therapist knows about this as well, though whether or not she remembers is an entirely different thing - and we’re getting off track. Anyway, regardless, I have started to be stubborn about things. Little things, here and there, sort of where I can get away with them. But, in some cases - as ridiculous as this may sound, especially given the above statement of being a grown ass adult - there are still situations where I have to bend. 

So, all of this is backstory so you can understand the current issue. 

I can’t pay my Amazon Prime membership. I’ve been a member since the launch of Prime thereabouts, and I’ve always governed it myself, because I could afford it. When I lost my last job, I was able to pay for it for about two years - without changing over, because I had NO IDEA that was an option, so I was paying FULL PRICE - before I couldn’t afford it anymore. My mother offered to pay it, because she couldn’t be bothered to have/manage an account and I basically became her Amazon secretary. Which worked out for me, because I was able to maintain my Prime privileges all at the cost of being an Amazon monkey whenever she wanted/needed something. 

My mom retired last year juuuust before covid rolled in and forced everyone to stay home. Last year, incidentally, I learned that I qualified for the $5/month Prime plan, so we switched to that because it was cheaper and worked for everyone. However, my mother has been wanting access to the account. And I get that she pays for it, however, that’s not why she wants it. She wants it as a means to keep tabs on me and spy on me and control me. So, no, I’ve not given it to her. She started to claim she’d stop paying for it and I called that bluff and now we’re at another crossroads. Because I would like to buy my nephew a birthday present, and I don’t have enough money left on my gift card from Christmas to do that. And even if I did, I wouldn’t be able to use the credit I have that expires the 28th, because I have to make a purchase of over $15. 

Side note: For all who recall, this is essentially the garden issue all over again in new form. 

I honestly am so over it. And I absolutely refuse to give on this in any way at this point. Because she can stop paying if she wants. That’s her prerogative. She can absolutely refuse to accommodate any of the necessities I require. She can threaten me all she damn well pleases. I know if I give in now, I’ll never prove to her that I can and will be free of her. 

I just wish I had more traction from which to do so. It’s easier to fight when you have some security, you know? 

Anyway, we just had an argument on the phone because I called her three damn times and she ignored my calls. Only to call and tell my aunt to have me call her back - because she couldn’t wait on the phone? And when I called her back, she didn’t even hear out the reason I called her. Just gave me an ultimatum about the Amazon account and I was like, ‘Well fine. Then he doesn’t get a birthday present’ and hung up on her. 

But, I am like shaking and I’m really angry, but I’m also anxious as fuck, like there will be some consequence for this insubordination. And I can’t relax. 

I missed a session last week due to the weather and a mix up, if you’ll all recall. If not, it’s there under #my life if you wanna catch up. So when we were setting dates for new ones, I asked my therapist if I’d get penalized for missing it. Instead of answering me, my therapist asked me, “What do you think will happen if you miss a session?” And I legit started crying. “I know there’s a three strikes and you get dropped policy,” I replied, trying not to sob and feeling like an idiot. She replied, “Yes, that’s true. And you’re very punctual. You’re very good at following rules and doing what’s expected of you. But, what do you think will happen if that did happen?” And I said, “I won’t be able to come see you and talk to you.” She answered, “If that happens, all you have to do is reapply. That’s it. You just reapply.” And then she asked me how I was feeling and explained to me more about my abuse response and I’m supposed to come up with a list of things for next session to see what we can work on. 

But this, this is exactly it. Like, this is why. I don’t get room to breathe. It’s psychological warfare 24/7. Even when there’s significant distance between us. hell, ESPECIALLY when. 

I should probably call my therapist, but I know I won’t. I’m seeing her next week anyway. We can talk about it then. 

I just hate everything about this. 

#my life #my family #my health

[diisenchvnted]

KIERNAN SHIPKA,  DEMIGIRL,  SHE/HER.  —  looks  like  BEATRICE “TRIXIE” BELLEROSE  is  attending  AURADON PREP  in  auradon.  they're  the  NINETEEN  year  old  child  of  THE ENCHANTRESS,  which  means  they're  from  THE ISLE.  heard  they're  ENERGETIC  &  CREATIVE,  but  can  also  be  OFFBEAT  &  NAÏVE  ;  we all have our bad days.  people  normally  associate  them  with  RED PETALS FALLING OFF A BLOOMING ROSE, A CRACKED HANDMIRROR BY YOUR BESIDE, RUBY RED LIPS AND BIG BROWN EYES, WORN STUFFED ANIMALS SALVAGED WITH A POOR SEWING JOB.  —  hylia.

                             ❛ it’s only me who wants to wrap around your dreams                                 and...  have you any dreams you’d like to sell ?? ❜                                playlist. pinterest. to listen as you read.                                tws : mental abuse ( by a parent )

so hi again i am hylia and this is Baby. idk how long this one’s gonna end up eITHER bc my allergies are kickin’ my ass today and I should be resting but I cannot stay away from this group for that long. So yes !! pls continue reading for more info abt trixie bby here. i lov her.

HISTORY

The daughter of the Enchantress - yes , the same Enchantress that turned Prince Adam into a beast - Trixie never really understood why her family was stuck on the Isle. Since of course , the Enchantress only taught Adam a lesson , yes ?? It was maybe through more harsh means than one would think , but . . . she wasn’t a bad guy.

...Right ??

All Trixie knew was that this was the life she was given , and she had to suck it up and deal with it. And never one to really sit around feeling sorry for herself , she took it. And her life was pretty normal for an Isle kid , save for her mother projecting her anger at being thrown on Isle onto her child. 

There was always a talk of showing them. Telling Trixie , One day we’ll show them what a real lesson is since they didn’t learn from last time. Excessively tutoring her in all things magic and enchanting despite the fact that powers like that actually terrified the child to her core. 

But there was always pressure - and it only increased when it was found out the Isle kids were getting a chance. In Trixie’s mind , this was a new way to explore , a new opportunity for a brand new life - UNTIL Trixie’s mother decided it would finally be able to kick their plans into motion. All of that tutoring , all of the training that made it so Trixie never had many friends , couldn’t leave the house much - it would have to pay off.

Gifted with an enchanted mirror and an enchanted rose by her mother - exact replicas to the beast’s , the Enchantress gave Trixie an ultimatum to make sure revenge was sated : give the Beast’s family the same fate he once bore ( essentially , transform them all into beasts like he used to be ) by the time the last petal falls , or be doomed to become a beast herself.

And . . . that’s where she is now. 

FACTS / CHARACTER

SO YES THAT’S IT - Trixie’s mother basically wants her to turn Belle, Adam , and their kids into beasts to get revenge or else Trixie’s gonna be the one turning into a beast if she doesn’t do it. And yes it’s fucking terrifying.

Nobody knows of this secret except for the two people involved in the deal - Trixie , and her mom. And by God Trixie does not want to do this.

And realistically , for RP purposes , I’m gonna inform you now that there is no way that the revenge is gonna be carried out. The Florians are fine. We all know she’s not gonna do it. But right now , since Trixie just got here and has that ultimatum , she doesn’t know that yet. So she’s struggling with a lose-lose situation since if she does do that , she makes herself an Auradonian criminal , and if she defies her mother and doesn’t , she becomes a beast and she has no idea how to undo a spell like that.

So yeah , just to clarify - nobody else really knows about this. Trixie keeps this deal hidden , and also hides the two items related to it in her closet ( the handmirror and rose ) so nobody finds them. Even though she routinely carries the mirror around with her and checks on the rose frequently because yes , its petals are starting to fall. 

Which brings me to my next point - Trixie has AMAZING power , and essentially , later on in her life it’s destined that she’ll become the next Enchantress. But because Trixie’s magical prowess isn’t manifesting fully yet , aka - it’s not showing on the outside , she doesn’t think she has much of a talent with it. She doesn’t know her own strength yet.

And of course , her mother knows of this. Her mother knows she’s going to excel - but there’s both difficulties in keeping that a secret and letting her become aware.

She keeps it a secret right now - it’s in an effort to keep Trixie under her thumb. But this is also proving difficult for Trixie to carry out the revenge scheme due to a lack of confidence paired with her morals.

If Trixie becomes aware of her power , then that means she’s going to find out she’s growing stronger as her mother’s magic is waning - kind of like the deal with the Supreme in American Horror Story. Trixie’s power grows stronger as her mother’s grows weaker , but that isn’t showing yet in the former of the two. 

So right now , Trixie is forcing herself to practice her magic to get stronger to appease her mother - even though honestly ?? She does not like magic. It terrifies her , and she blames her ability to use it for why her life kind of sucks right now.

To sort of make sure nobody is suspicious of her , Trixie doesn’t even tell people who her mother is. She just says her mother was a fling of Gaston’s banished to the Isle by association - that’s it.

And this is sort of how she’s managed to get a part-time job working in Ben’s castle as a maid to get close.

...Even though she really , really , really doesn’t like that.

But also !! One thing she has going for her is that despite everything - she is very outwardly FRIENDLY and optimistic - always smiley , always chatting up somebody up. This is sort of an effort to make herself feel better rather than put on a facade , since Trixie’s more keen on focusing on things that don’t make her feel sad to distract herself from the actual situation. 

“Trix you’re in denial” “I know.”

Also this sort of influence her tendency to ignore or run away from situations as much as she can bc... mood.

Acting in her own world is very normal for her - and it’s a major coping mechanism. She’s very creative , obsessed with fairytales and stories and probably knows the whole story about your parents more than you do. She in fact writes some of her own in her spare time , always keeping a journal around with her for writing when she’s bored.

Also keeps a dream journal ( mR. ELECTRICDAD SEND HIM TO THE PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE AND HAVE HIM EXPELLED !!11!!1!!!!!! ) bc she is big into the belief our dreams have deeper meanings n stuff

She’s not the type to shy away from stuff tho in the sense of like... conversing about very out there topics or saying weirdass things that pop into her head. Sort of seen as a little weirdo for this but it all comes for the fact that Trixie is a HUGE thinker.

Also into the supernatural even on the slightly more malevolent side just bc she finds it interesting - she’s 100% the friend that proposes u guys try and summon demons during sleepovers

My lil weird baby

Looks rly good in green and red tbh and probably owns like forty-five different shades of lipstick since coming to Auradon 

Also has a lot of rose-patterned/themed stuff just bc frankly it’s cute. 

God as a character it’s so hard to describe her like... in words this sounds so pretentious but I do so much better showing and not telling bc her character is so complex in the sense that she’s. She’s like a dream. That’s the best way I can describe her - a dream as in the random , thought-induced , fantasy-like parts of dreams rather than the romantic parts of everything.

That probably makes no sense but. Yeah.

She’s weird I love her

Probably would do well in Wonderland if she didn’t have her mother lOOMING OVER HER HEAD

WANTED CONNECTIONS / PLOTS 

OKAY SO PLSSS GIVE ME FRIENDS TRIXIE USED TO HAVE ON THE ISLE BUT SHE LOST TOUCH W/ FOR BEING SO... CLOSED IN

In general I just want friends that Trixie has that she can’t rly tell what’s going on with her. At all. And it breaks her heart bc she finally has the chance to fit in and get along with people but either way she decides to take her mother’s deal makes it so she can’t keep them.

Lots of secrets are gonna be passed about.

I’d lov her to eventually bond with sb so she can actually EXPLAIN her problem to and cry about it bc baby lowkey feels like she’s on her own in this and can’t turn to anyone for it

PPL WHO TRIXIE HELPS WITH WRITING BC SHE LOVES IT

Ppl who Trixie rly likes in any sense to point where she bases some fairytale characters in her own stories off of them

I’d also love some enemies pls gimme gimme gimme

Some ppl who suspect Trixie bc she seems so... vague. Like she’s not giving the full story.

Isle kids who know EXACTLY who Trixie’s mother is and for some reason resent her for tht bc I don’t think the Enchantress is the nicest magic user out there rn

Friendships that went sour bc Trixie’s been keeping so many SECRETS

First love who went sour for the same reasons : /

The general uhhhhh exes, crushes, that sorta stuff

Any ship that’s gonna b like a full on sHIP SHIP will have to b seen how chemistry works out !! But Trixie’s a panromantic asexual bby who I adore. 

I’d love some folks she aCCIDENTALLY exposes her magic to and they can either

A .) Blackmail her n threaten to expose her for it

or B.) Find it RLY RLY RLY cool n she just shows them a bunch of magic... trix

hahaha HAHAHAHAHA

please clap.

BT ALSO LETS DEFFO BRAINSTORM SOME !!! again i’ll be making an official connections page for her like i am w/ luke but in the meantime ! lets plot !

#no graphic atm bc i can't b bothered i'm so sorry #usoa:intro #abt tag tbd #mental abuse tw