#and in my opinion it overall wasn’t rushed

[viennakarma]

My dearest friend and enemy

Part 1 | Fernando Alonso x Reader

Summary: You and Fernando always dreamed of the day you'd get into Formula 1. Unfortunately, the competition, the pride and the stubborness, get in the way of a beautiful friendship.

Word count: 7.8k

Tags: female!reader, driver reader, coming of age, ups and downs of a friendship, brocedes coded, very very angsty, cursing, anger, fights, overuse of flavio briatore as a plot device, lots of low blows, sprinkles of romance, kissing, making out, happy ending, not beta read

Relationship: Fernando Alonso x Reader

Note: Someone requested this, with this very detailed request, and it has consumed my every thought for the past week or two. I had to tweak some things from the request here and there, hope it's ok. It's heavily inspired by brocedes. Obviously we don't have all the facts with whatever happened to Lewis and Nico, but I have my own theories, that I tossed around this story here and there. (There is a lot of info that is wrong or inaccurate, I did this on purpose to fit my narrative, if you catch them, please ignore)

I'm sorry if it feels rushed, this was getting way too long and I just wanted to follow my heart. Feedback and opinions are appreciated xx

[If you have never listened to Tamino, or never heard this song, please do a favor to your brain and heart, and listen!]

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PART 2 (END)

You wouldn’t cry. You wouldn’t cry.

You repeated those words to yourself as you stared at your fucked up kart, it wasn’t even starting. You didn’t have any more money to repair it, and if you didn’t, then you wouldn’t be able to keep going in the competition.

“Hey, are you alright kid?” Someone stopped you, and your tears fell down. You used the sleeve of your overalls to wipe your face.

“I won’t make it to the final round of the competition,” you pointed to your kart.

The boy knelt down beside you, taking a look at your kart. It was the first time you really looked at him. He was a bit older than you, probably two or three years, since you had seen him in the next category, and you knew he was one of the best from what you could see.

He walked away suddenly, but came back a minute later with a tool box. He knelt down and started tinkering with your kart.

“What- what are you doing?” You asked crouching beside him. He only hummed, seemingly concentrating on his work.

After a few minutes of silence, he asked you to test to see if it would work, and you started your kart, and it did work.

“Oh my god!” You smiled, leaving the kart, “how- how much does it cost?”

“Don’t worry, I wanted to help,” he shrugged, putting back his tools.

“Are you sure?” You asked again.

“Yes,” he stood up, and as his eyes found yours, shining under the sunlight, you smiled at each other.

“Thank you so much!” You said, offering a hand for him to shake.

“I’m Fernando,” he said, and as you said your name back, he smiled a little shyly and just said, “I know.”

“You know?” You whispered.

“Yeah. I’ve seen you in your kart. You’re good.”

You bashed under his praise, cheeks warming and stomach full of butterflies.

From then on, you and Fernando became friends, always meeting up in karting competitions, despite being usually in different categories, since he was a bit older than you. But you’d always be seen together on those occasions, or either of you on the stands, cheering for the other. Your parents knew you were close friends, and after a while, your parents would take turns at taking you two for competitions, usually going together.

You met again when you got to the Spanish Junior Championship, it was your first time at that competition and it would be Fernando’s third. Your rivalry was mostly playful in that competition, you were still the best of friends, even when you got close to his score, you still managed to leave the rivalry on the track. When it ended and you stared up at Fernando from the second place podium, you felt proud of him, happy even. You understood that he had more experience than you, winning that competition three times in a row, and you always would have next year to catch up to him.

That day when he took your hand to walk back to his dad, he held your hand tight. And when they dropped you off at home, you winked at him.

“I’ll catch you next year.” You walked to the door hearing him and José Luis laughing back in the car.

You didn’t manage to catch him next year. Fernando reached new heights as he moved up to world championships. Life took you apart, and without your greatest opponent in the championship, you took it home for three years in a row.

The next few years, you and Fernando were mostly apart. The distance was eating you thin, even when you two managed to talk for a couple of hours on the phone, or whenever he sent you letters talking about his biggest achievements. You still saw each other over summer and winter, which was what mostly kept your bond strong. You also managed to kart for fun sometimes, or go for ice cream, or just sit on the porch of your house, talking about life. You two always shared an ice cream on your birthdays, a tradition that was born ever since you were 13, and you and Fernando gathered together every coin you had to be able to buy one ice cream cone that you happily shared sitting on a sidewalk.

“We’ll make it to Formula 1 one day, Nena.”

You laughed. Despite being the greatest dream of them all, by that time, it had been twenty years since the last woman had been in a Formula 1 car, really competing. You wanted to, so bad, but you didn’t want to get any hope for it to be crushed later on.

“You, most likely, Nano. You’re brilliant, I’m sure you’re going to be a world champion one day,” you said, playful, “just don’t forget us peasants when you’re rich and famous.”

“You have too much faith in me, Nena,” he shook his head.

“No, I just know stuff. When you get your world championship, I hope you will hear my voice in your head telling you I told you so.”

He laughed it off.

Fernando extended you a bottle of cheap wine, it was his way of celebrating your 18th birthday, now you were of age. The wine warmed you up, leaving a pretty stain in both of your lips. 

“What about that girl you liked? Are you dating her yet?” You asked to break the silence.

“No…” he shrugged then took the bottle from you to take a chug straight from it, “she’s not for me.”

“I’m sorry,” you said, even though he didn’t look particularly unhappy about it.

“Don’t be. It was just a silly crush,” his lips turned down, “The girls don’t find me attractive enough,” he shook his head, feeling shy for having this conversation with you, “and I don’t know, I’ve always been a little shy, I guess. I don’t have much experience in romance. None, if I’m being honest.”

“None?!” You sounded shocked at his lack of romance. He just shook his head. 

At eighteen you had your fair share of teen love, having crushes here and there, sometimes even sharing kisses under the bleachers at school. Fernando was your best friend and you knew him like no one, and you could see that he was lonely and feeling embarrassed, up until that point, his life had been school, karting and work to fund his karting.

“Would you like to?” You asked, suddenly turning to him after drinking a sip of courage from the wine bottle.

“Like to what?” He frowned.

“To be kissed?” You whispered, and looked behind you, inside your house, where your parents were inside.

Your heart raced faster than you ever did, his pretty eyes looking for your face, trying to find any sign of joking, like you were just being silly. But you were serious, looking at his face intently. You were about to back pedal when he nodded softly.

“What-” his voice failed, and he gulped nervously, “what should I do?”

“Just follow my lead, and you will feel what to do,” you said, extending a hand and holding his face, “close your eyes.”

He did, and you just closed the distance quietly, but when you had barely touched his lips with yours, he bursted out laughing, leaning back. You also laughed at the strangeness of the situation.

“It’s ok, we don’t have to, Nano” you recovered, but he shook his head, giggling.

“No, sorry, sorry! You’re my favorite person, I trust you,” he sighed, closing his eyes again.

You held his face, trying to get closer again, and this time he let you. With a soft press, you pecked his lips for a couple of seconds. You felt butterflies in your stomach, and they pushed you to push into his lips, mouth opening a little and him following your lead. One of his hands found your face, and you deepened the kiss. He was inexperienced but surprisingly patient, letting you lead and slowly picking your pace and moves. Your kiss turned into an almost make out session, lasting long minutes, with Fernando getting the hang of it with every passing second. When you parted, his cheeks and lips were red, and you two smiled nervously at each other.

“Was that ok?” You asked, suddenly insecure.

“More than ok,” he whispered back, “I think we-”

A loud noise from inside your house made you two jump away from each other, and a second later, your mom’s voice boomed through the door, reminding you of your curfew, and checking your watch, you noticed it was almost eleven.

“Sorry, Nano. I have to go,” you stood up and he followed you.

“See you Saturday to go karting?” He asked just to confirm the plans you had made earlier.

“See you,” you waved awkwardly before sprinting inside your house.

Skipping to your room, you locked the door behind you and pressed a hand to your lips, still warm from kissing your best friend. Going to your window, you pulled on the curtains and watched through the gap as Fernando left, calmly walking down the street.

You never talked about it. And when you met again at the end of the week, none of you mentioned the kiss, things quickly went back to normal as you two pretended it never happened. Over a few months, your heart never let you forget about the kiss you shared with your best friend, and whenever you laid in bed to sleep, your mind would wander back to that specific night. You spent months building up the courage to confess you had feelings for him, and you wanted to be more than friends. Your choice was to tell him on his birthday, when you usually would go for a birthday ice cream.

“I need to tell you something-” You said at the same time he muttered, “Can I tell you something?”

“Go ahead,” he said, gesturing to you, but at that point, your bravery quickly faded.

“No, you first. You’re the birthday boy!”

“Uh, I’m dating a girl. I’m going to introduce her to you and my family at the birthday party tonight.”

That moment, with a smile frozen on your face, a small part of you was ripped forever. The excitement and fear of a young love turned into stone at the pit of your stomach. To this day, you don’t know how you managed to not burst into tears that very moment. Instead, you kept smiling, asking Fernando for more details so he could get distracted and not notice the pain in your eyes.

Managing to bury what you decided to call a silly teen infatuation after a few months, your friendship with Fernando became even stronger everyday that passed. 

You made it to the international and European competitions, winning the former twice in a row, and the latter once. You were in the Euro Open when Fernando made it to Formula 1.

He told you personally, when he signed with Minardi, and you were so happy you jumped on his arms, hugging him tight and screaming.

“I told you! I told you!” You shouted, as he carried your feet from the floor, “My best friend is in Formula 1! Oh my god, Nano!” You let go of him, your smile barely fitting your face, “I’m gonna be insufferable! I’m claiming bragging rights right now!”

He only laughed at your happy ramble.

You balanced your competitions with working double shifts for almost two months, so you could afford to go to the Spanish Grand Prix the year of his Formula One debut. He didn’t win anything that year, but he still had your immense support every step of the way. When waves of self doubt came and left him shaken, you’d hug him and whisper softly how he was just a rookie, how he would still have time to prove himself.

“You’re gonna be one of the best there is, Nano.”

“You think so?”

“I know so.”

He also would show you support whenever your schedule at the Euro Open didn’t coincide with his at Formula 1. It was one of the best feelings to get to the podium and see your best friend as you held the trophy. When you finally found him after the podium, he hugged you for a moment, commenting on his favorite moments from your race. As you stood, he gestured to someone, and a beautiful girl came closer.

“Nena, this is my girlfriend, Lucia,” he pointed. Your smile froze for a second. Another one, since the girl from last year couldn’t handle the distance of dating someone who was constantly traveling the world.

“It’s so nice to meet you!” You shook her hand, suddenly self conscious of your frizzy hair and sweat damp overalls. She was so pretty. So much prettier than you. 

Lucia was pretty and kind, a little bit clingy, but she treated you very well, and wasn’t jealous of your friendship with Fernando, different from the last one. All your flings never went as far as becoming boyfriend or girlfriend, so you decided to focus more on racing and trying to make a name for yourself.

“Fernando,” you called one of the rare days you two were both free and could laze around, this time, sitting on the ground of the garden, staring at the clear sky and sharing a pint of ice cream.

“Hm?”

“I talked to your dad, and you’re going to be free the day of the last race of the Euro Open, so I was wondering if you will come to see me become the champion?” You turned to him, a smile adorning your face.

“Confident, are you?” He teased your certainty that you would win the competition.

“Not confident, just focused,” you corrected him, and started explaining the date of the race, but as you talked, his smile quickly faded and you stopped.

“I’m sorry, Nena. It’s Lucia’s graduation that day, I can’t miss it.”

You swallowed, thinking it would matter so much to you that he’d be there, but at the same time, you didn’t want to be selfish or make it seem like you’re competing with the girl he loved. You tried to disguise the disappointment in your face, but he noticed. At that point he knew you for half of your lives, he knew very well when you tried to mask your sadness. And unfortunately, he had been on the receiving end of that sad face one too many times.

“Oh,” you nodded, “Don’t worry, I totally understand.”

Fernando pressed his lips thin, your meek voice doing nothing to soothe the squeezing in his heart.

The day you won the Euro Open, you could barely contain your happiness as you stood on the podium, showing your trophy to your parents, who were watching you all emotional. As the podium ceremony finished, you walked back to your parents, your mom wiping her tears and your dad the happiest. Then, you finally noticed Fernando was with them.

“Nano!” You hugged him.

“Congratulations, champion!” He said. Your heart was so full you thought it would explode, so all you managed to say were two words.

“You came.”

“You called.”

Later you found out through your mom, who found out through Fernando’s mom, who found out from Fernando’s dad, that Fernando and Lucia had broken up. They said it was because of the distance and the relationship didn’t last more than seven months. You couldn’t blame her, you as his best friend barely saw him that year either.

You became a reserve driver for Renault in 2003, meeting Flavio Briatore yourself after you won the Formula 3000 two years in a row. You knew that, by that time, Fernando had ties with Flavio, but the man assured you it had nothing to do with Fernando, and everything to do with you being extremely talented.

Still, that same week you found Fernando, to inquire if he had anything to do with Flavio’s invitation, but he assured you that you’d achieved that with your own merit. The unexpected chance to race came when by the end of the following year, Fernando’s teammate was fired by the end of the season. So you had to replace him for the remaining three races of the season, the team fighting for P2 in the constructors championship. The first two races you went alright placing P7 and P5, but still not where you wanted to place.

“Hey, you’re doing great, Nena,” Fernando told you right before the race started. He knew you were upset, frustration practically emanating from your body.

“Not as great as I can do,” you shook your head.

“Just do your best, ignore everything else.”

You nodded, before closing your overalls and gettin ready to get in the car. That race, you and Fernando managed to race just like in your karting days, with a silent partnership never seen before coming from Fernando. You placed a 2-3 podium, him ahead of you.

When you got out of the car, you jumped straight into his arms, screaming and celebrating. Your first ever podium in Formula 1.

During post race interviews you accidentally let out to the media that you and Fernando were childhood best friends, which they took as a personal reason to go digging into your lives.

Next season, Flavio signed you with the team. But before anything, he sat you down for a talk. He explained how Fernando would be top priority this year, you were a rookie, and they would offer you all the support but you had to help Fernando first.

“You will gain experience, work together with your best friend, and we can achieve great things this year. And depending on how good of a performance you show this year, next year you will be able to race for the championship, yes?” Flavio explained.

And you were fine with that, Fernando would be the main priority while you took the year to get used to the car, to being in an entirely new category, while helping your best friend reach his peak. It was the dream, finally. It was the thing both of you had daydreamed together, nothing could get in the way of that.

So you did just that. You kept your head down, fighting fiercely against your rivals, and keeping yourself out of the way whenever you and Fernando were close in a race. Your time would come, as Flavio had promised. That season you managed good results in the points, and even got five podium finishes, which landed you fourth in the drivers’ championship and managed Renault to win the constructors.

That day in Interlagos, during the Brazilian Grand Prix, you woke up knowing Fernando would become world champion. You didn’t tell him to not put any more pressure on him. He only needed a podium to mathematically become the champion of the world.

He finished P3, and you finished P7. Seeing Fernando radiantly happy, dancing, shouting and jumping was etched forever in your brain as one of your happiest memories. The way he eventually found you, holding you firmly against him, the both of you crying happy tears became headlines all around the world.

“I told you, didn’t I?” You broke the hug so you could stare into his red rimmed eyes.

“You did. You’re right more often than not, I’ve come to realize.” He whispered. When someone tried to put a mic in your faces, Fernando pushed it away.

“This is your moment, go.” You gestured to the other side, where he had to go before the podium.

Looking up from the ground to Fernando, you were so happy you thought your heart would burst open. And you couldn’t wait for it to be your turn, to feel this happiness the other way around.

That night, you, Fernando and the entire team got ready to party, to celebrate his championship. You dressed up to the nines, putting makeup and spending a good half an hour styling your hair. When you left the elevator, meeting the whole team at the lobby, they shouted and whistled saying you were pretty. It made you a bit shy but you liked the attention.

You and Fernando danced and drank like crazy that night, going strong all the way into the morning. When the party ended and you two sat on your suite balcony, watching the sun rise, you bought out an ice cream pint you had kept in the room minibar.

“How do you feel, Mr. World Champion?” You sat cross legged in front of him.

“Like a dream come true, sometimes I don’t even believe it’s real,” he said, staring into the horizon.

“Remember when we would talk about this moment?” You took his hand in yours, as he nodded, “Wow. This is great. I’m so happy for you, and happy for fifteen year-old Nano, the bright eyed boy that fixed my kart charge free.”

It’s barely a second after you finished speaking that Fernando leaned into your space and just kissed your lips. It took you a second to understand what was going on, but when his hand found your hair, you reciprocated. His lips, that had been cold from the ice cream quickly became warm under your ministrations. You held his shoulders and let him pull you closer, until you were straddling his lap. The kiss was messy, all over the place, clanking lips, teeth and tongue. You moaned softly as he squeezed your ass, and you pulled his hair at the nape, grinding down on his lap, making him groan too.

“We should not,” he said, breaking the kiss. You nodded, panting.

“Yeah, totally, we-” you tried to speak but he nipped at your neck and you lost all train of thought.

“No, we won’t ruin-” he tried again but you pulled his hair, forcing his head up so you could kiss him.

“You’re right-” you muttered against his lips, right before smashing it when you kissed him again. You stayed there, kissing, making out like you were teenagers again, too scared to reach for each other's clothes and take the next step.

When the sun was fully up in the sky, and whatever was left of the ice cream had melted, your alarm rang, and you and Fernando parted. You were about to invite him to sleep with you for a few hours when he paused, his face worried. Fernando took one of your hands.

“This is a one time- thing, right?” He frowned, and you swallowed before nodding.

“Yes, of course.” You don’t correct him with memories of your eighteenth birthday.

“I just, I don’t want anything to ruin our friendship,” he stared at you, visibly scared for your friendship, and you didn’t have the heart to ask for more.

“It won’t ruin, I promise. If you want, we can forget it ever happened,” you said, hoping and praying he would change his mind. But he looked relieved at your words.

After he left, you sat down on the bed, disheartened, knowing that these scraps of affection would have to be stored in a safe spot inside your heart, and would be nothing more than memories, and what-ifs you’d only dare to look at late in your sleepless nights. You wondered how many times he would have to undervalue your romantic affections for you to understand he didn’t want you and never would. That was the second time you shared a moment, and the second time he had dismissed it. It’s not meant to be, you whispered to yourself.

When the new season started, you had gotten a grip over your feelings for him, focused on moving on. Being in love with your best friend for around a decade was pathetic enough.

Fernando was great during the start of the season, scoring two wins within the first three races. And despite not being the results you wanted, you placed top ten in all of them, even managing one podium finish.

When the fourth race came, though, it was when you and Fernando started to collapse. It was a very carefully plotted race for you and your team, and after managing your tyres with care, you didn’t have to pit twice. And you won, for the first time ever, you stood on the top of the podium. Unfortunately, Fernando didn’t get a podium. Holding your trophy, you looked down from the podium looking to your team, and searching for Fernando.

He wasn’t there, and your heart shattered a bit with his absence.

Maybe he had a problem and couldn’t be there for you. Maybe he was busy.

You went down to speak to the press, happily talking about strategies, how you and your team masterminded it, how you managed to preserve your tyres for longer than expected.

“How do you and Fernando manage to balance your friendship out of the track with the rivalry happening inside the track?” Someone asked. You were caught by surprise, taking a few seconds to actually compute the words he said.

“Well, I haven’t seen Fernando yet, but I believe he’d be happy for my good result as much as I’d be happy for him,” you told him, but immediately regretted it as the reporter had a gotcha expression on his face.

“Well, actually, this is what Fernando said a few minutes ago when he gave an interview-”

The man gave you a tape recorder attached to a pair of headphones, and your stomach filled with dread as he pressed rewind and play.

“Fernando, today’s win puts your best friend as a contender for the championship, what do you say?”

“Well, I believe she is talented, but too young and not yet ready to face me and actually compete for the championship.”

His voice was bitter, like he didn’t see you as nothing but a bug under his shoes. Instead of making you sad, it only left you seething in anger, but as you removed the headphones, you controlled the urge to smash the headphones on the nearest wall and smirked coldly to the camera that was waiting for your reaction.

“What do you think about Fernando saying you’re still not ready to become world champion?” The reporter urged, waiting for a beef that he would successfully get.

“Well, I guess he feels threatened by me, so I’ll take that as a compliment,” you shrugged, not caring about adding more fuel to the fire. If Fernando thought he could go running his mouth and you’d be fine or not jab him back, he was in for a surprise.

After wrapping up the interviews, you finally managed to go to your room and take a shower. You were getting ready to leave when Fernando found you again, walking into your room without bothering to knock. You didn’t even look at him, just kept packing your bag.

“Nena…”

“Don’t fucking talk to me,” you shook your head, holding on to the anger instead of allowing yourself to be sad. How he was able to ruin your first ever win in Formula 1, you couldn’t know.

“Nena, please, just-” He tried again, blocking your path to the door.

“No! Fuck you, Fernando!” You took a step back, letting your bag fall to the floor, an accusatory finger pointing to his face, “How dare you do this to me? You know how many times I cheered for you? How many times I wasn’t even on the podium and still, I was happy for you? Huh? I was there for you every step of the way, and you can’t be there for me once? Now you go out there and disregard my win in front of the whole world? What did I ever do to you for you to say that shit about me?” Your voice trembled, but you refused to cry in front of him, “I’d never do that to you, you selfish asshole.”

“I shouldn’t have said that, but I was pole and didn’t even manage to turn it into a podium? I was upset, the strategy fucked me up! I know I should not have said that! You’re right! I was selfish and an asshole-”

“Damn right you were!” You shouted, then picked up your bag, “I don’t want to see you right now.”

You walked past him, leaving at once.

That night, you went to celebrate with the team and without your teammate, you got pretty wasted, dancing and drinking like you had never done before. You refused to let yourself feel down because of Fernando’s big mouth. Dancing the night away, you didn’t stop even when people on the team asked you to, since you were getting out of hand. You were grinding on a stranger, dancing to reggaeton when you felt a hand on your arm.

“Let’s go,” the voice said and you turned, seeing Fernando in front of you. He looked like he was dressed in pajamas and hair all disheveled.

He was asleep when someone on the team called him because they wanted to leave and you were being difficult, so they hoped that your best friend could come pick you up and convince you to leave.

“Excuse me?!” You pulled your arm from him.

“We’re leaving!” Fernando said, pointing to where your team was, seeing it empty, “you’re not going to stay here alone.”

Begrudgingly, you let him lead you outside, one hand in your arm, and the other one on your back. You stumbled in your heels, and Fernando pressed you against the wall, kneeling to remove your shoes and help you walk better outside. Silently, he drove you back to the hotel, while you were with your arms crossed and sulking.

He walked you to your room, helping you change into pajamas, then tucked you into the bed. He stood there for a second, pushing your hair away from your face as you closed your eyes, letting his knuckles run over your cheek softly.

“I wish-” you mumbled, sleepy, “I wish you were happy for me.”

His eyes filled with tears, seeing just how awful he had been to you. A dream was coming true and all he could think of was himself.

“I am, Nena. I’m so happy for you,” He said, but you didn’t answer, already asleep, due to being tired from the race and heavily drunk.

You woke up with a pounding headache and a stomach churning hangover. Still, you showered, drank tea and got ready to go home. When Fernando knocked on the door of your hotel room later that day to apologize, you were already on a flight to Spain. Your birthday would be later that week and your family wanted to throw you a dinner party. 

Your birthday was nice, despite obviously feeling Fernando’s absence.

You were sitting alone on the porch, after the party, when he showed up, late in the night. You didn’t say anything as he walked up to you.

“Peace offering?” Fernando showed you a small ice cream pint “I’m so sorry. I never meant to undermine you. I was a jerk, and you didn’t deserve any of it. I’m so, so sorry.”

You hesitated for a second, but his eyes were so gentle, remorseful, that you couldn’t help but give in. You jumped into his arms so suddenly he almost dropped the ice cream, but he managed to balance it and hug you back with the other arm.

“Happy birthday, Nena,” he whispered, 

“Thank you,” you said, without letting him go, “I’m sorry too. I apologize for implying you felt threatened by me.”

“You should have called me worse things,” he whispered.

You ended up sharing the ice cream once again, talking about life.

Deep down, you hoped things would go back to normal, but a part of you knew that things would never be the same. You two were too much alike for anything to work. Too proud. Too stubborn. Too competitive. When you were good, it was great, but when you were mad, your words were daggers.

The both of you tried to stay normal the next couple of races, but it was strained, forced, especially when you were racing each other. You supposed Fernando was used to you backing down for him, since it was all you had done the year before when you were a rookie. But now you were used to the car, to explore all the possibilities while pushing your tyres to their maximum, while trying insane strategies and making it work. You were a risky driver, just like him, often seen as reckless.

All the while, the media started catching up to it. They went digging to find pictures of you and Fernando when you were kids, in karting and junior competitions, finding out people to interview, old classmates, people you two had met over the years, telling everyone about your close friendship, about you growing up together. Despite you both refusing to comment on your past, the journalists would always find a way to learn more and more about you.

Eventually, it got to your nerves, harsh words were often said whenever questions were thrown at you. You were in a press conference, where Fernando was also there along with a few other drivers.

“It is noticeable that you and Alonso’s driving style is very similar, would you say that he taught you everything you know?”

You didn’t like his tone, you hated whatever he was implying, not because of Fernando, but because it meant to reduce your efforts and abilities.

“No, Alonso has no part in my racing,” your tone was firm against the mic, and you could feel Fernando’s eyes on you, two chairs away on your left.

“But you grew up together?” The man insisted, and you loudly sighed, exhausted from everyone trying to make you talk about it all the time.

“And that doesn’t mean anything!” You said with gritted teeth.

There was a moment of silence right after your outburst, and you didn’t dare to look anywhere besides ahead. When the questions moved on to other drivers, you breathed again. Finally sparing a glance to Fernando, he only looked at you for a fleeting moment, but you knew him so well, you could recognize his teary eyes. Only then it dawned on you how badly you fucked up by insinuating he didn’t mean anything to you.

When the conference ended, you watched as Fernando left really quickly, not even looking in your direction. You ran, trying to find him, going to his room that was right beside yours.

“Fernando-” You walked inside, not even bothering to knock.

“So, our friendship means nothing!” He shook his head, looking disappointed.

“I didn’t mean it like that, Nano!”

“Now I’m Nano again?” He scoffed.

You wanted to cry and plead, to explain that you never meant it this way. You were just tired of people trying to attribute your success to others. You were tired of people comparing the two of you, and saying everything you were came from him, just because he joined the category five years before you. 

“Fernando, please-”

“Leave.” His eyes were cold, almost detached when he pointed to the door.

“Please, Nano…” You whispered, feeling your own eyes welling up with tears. He just shook his head ‘no’ again.

You walked out quietly, not allowing your tears to fall down as you got into your room, inhaling and puffing your chest. You didn’t let up, trying to talk to him again, because it was just a misunderstanding.

Three days later, you tried to find him again, after the race ended, hoping he would have calmed down after a good result, a P2 in that race. You knocked on his door and entered. He was changing clothes as you walked in, he finished dressing a shirt.

“What?” He said, barely looking at you, as he sat down on the sofa, brushing his hair.

“I wanted to talk about what I said during-” your words were interrupted by a knock on the door.

“Come in!” Fernando said, and soon, two pretty girls walked in, wearing pretty dresses, one blonde and the other brunette, “pretty girls!”

You recognized they were grid girls, and they looked familiar from this weekend.

“Can we talk?” You said, trying to make him at least send the girls away for a moment.

“I’m listening,” he smirked, and you gulped as the blonde ran a hand up and down his chest. The brunette leaned into his ear with a seductive smile, whispering something.

“Fernando, please…” You asked again and he didn’t even look at you, laughing at something the girls whispered to him, “I’m sorry,” you whispered, before turning in your heels and leaving his room.

Shame and jealousy burned inside you.

He started giving you a silent treatment from then on and three races later, your silent strain came to a head, once again.

You were right behind him at the race, you P3 and him right ahead, but you had enough speed to outpace him soon, maybe a couple more laps and you’d equal him enough to try and overtake, you rode turn 2 smoothly, but as you two kept going, Fernando half a second in front of you, he suddenly hit the brakes, making you hit his rear.

“What the fuck? He brake tested me!” You shouted into the radio, reassessing, you gulped, noticing the damage to your front right tyre, “I’ve got damage!”

You called into the box to change your tyre, which fucked up your entire strategy, and made you go from the P3 to P9 in the grid. You managed to recover a little bit, but still ended P5 and out of the podium.

The rage was burning your chest as you went to the garage absolutely fuming. After all the podium proceedings and celebrations, you waited for Fernando, but he just walked past you without a care in the world. That made you even more pissed, and nobody managed to hold you when you tossed your helmet aside and marched up to him.

“That was really fucked up, Fernando!” You cut his path, making him stop short. Suddenly a bunch of people started gathering around you two, everyone ready for a show.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” He shrugged, but you knew him like the palm of your own hand, and you knew that condescending smile he showed you.

“You are a fucking coward if you have to brake test me just to get a podium,” you said, venomous, feeling your dad trying to pull you away and dissipate the commotion. But you weren’t done, “you’re pathetic, Fernando.”

“That’s enough!” Your dad said, pulling you back.

“Or maybe you’re just not good enough, have you thought about that?” Fernando said back, and you jumped on him, trying to get close enough for violence, but your dad held your waist, removing your feet from the ground and pulling you back.

“Man up, Fernando! You fucking asshole!” You shouted as your dad dragged you back into the garage.

Your dad placed you inside your room, grabbing water so you could drink and calm down. When he turned back, a sob broke from your throat, and you covered your mouth with a hand, trying to muffle the sounds of your crying. You shook as you cried again, your dad hugging you close and murmuring to you to let it all out.

You never thought your friendship with Fernando would ever come to this. You weren’t even sure of how the buildup happened that led to this.

“I don’t recognize him anymore, Papá. I don’t recognize my best friend anymore,” you shook your head, your voice breaking in hiccups. You pressed the plant of your hand to your eyes to try and stop the tears falling down, but it was useless.

“It’s ok, bebé. You’re both hotheaded, you need to talk calmly, try and fix it.”

You didn’t try to talk to him. He was wrong when he brake tested you, and if he couldn’t apologize for that, and for the hurtful words he said, then it was better to stay that way.

It only got worse as the season went on, the team tried to force you to give him advantages, but you refused many times, making the competition for the World Drivers Championship be between the two of you.

“We need to talk,” Flavio called you a day after another one of your wins, one that Fernando placed third, one that he didn’t even look at your face when you were up there.

“What happened?” You sat down in front of him by the table.

“You have to follow team orders. When we say you have to switch places with Fernando, you switch. You are deliberately going against orders, what is going on? You and Fernando are now in a cold war, the media caught up, the other drivers caught up too, why-”

“Am I the only one getting lectured?” You crossed your arms, seeing Flavio getting red in the face, angry.

“No. I want answers from both of you, and the way you’re being aggressive with each other, we believe it’s better to talk to you separately,” Flavio sighed, “What is happening? Before it was interesting, a beautiful rivalry, but now you way past that. You’re harming your own races and the team.”

“You talk to Fernando. He thinks because I won’t back down he needs to use every dirty trick in the book to damage my race. If he can’t handle competition like an adult, then he shouldn’t be here.”

Suddenly, the door opened, which made you jump. Fernando walked inside, fuming.

“So that’s what you think of me?” He raised his voice.

“Yes, you have been acting like a fucking kid,” you stood up.

“Me? You told the whole world our friendship means nothing to you! Have you any idea how that made me feel?!” Fernando got closer.

“Do you know how many times people disdain my career to pin it to someone else? To attribute my successes to you, or to Flavio, or even my dad?! You’ve got no idea what it's like being a woman here!”

“Power got to your head! You think you have to walk all over everyone to get what you want!”

“Power?! Literally every man here does that! You do that too, Fernando!”

“Funny you say that since you wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for me!” He shouted, pointing a finger to the ground.

“Fernando, stop.” Flavio muttered, coming closer to where you were face to face with Fernando.

You frowned, your anger completely dissipated and what was left was dread. And a bad feeling in the pit of your stomach.

“What?” You hated how your voice was nothing more than a vulnerable whisper.

“Fernando, enough!” Flavio commanded out loud, gesturing with a hand.

“What do you mean, Fernando?!” You asked again, ignoring Flavio trying to pacify the fight.

“I was the one to ask Flavio to sponsor you. I asked him to take a shot and invest in your career!” Fernando’s words were poison and in his eyes you couldn’t see anything left of your former best friend.

“Is it true, Flavio?” You asked but your eyes never left Fernando’s.

“Yes, but if we calm down, we can talk like adults.”

You couldn’t even come up with words, speechless not only from what Fernando told you, but from the tone he used. It was like he had punched you straight in the gut. You couldn’t contain your tears anymore, the lump in your throat threatening to suffocate you. You wanted to jump on him, to push him to the ground and punch his face. You wanted to scream in his face and call him all the dirty names you could think of. You tried to hold onto the anger but your limbs were still, and the pain expanded inside you like wildfire. He had lied to you, in the biggest step of your career he had lied to you. Even when you pressed for answers, he lied straight to your face.

You stared into his eyes one last time. It was the first time he had seen you really cry. He had seen you teary eyed or even emotional before, but it was the first time he had seen you truly cry.

“You’re dead to me, Fernando.”

Was all you managed to rasp, fat tears streaming down your cheeks. Flavio called your name as you walked away, but you never looked back and didn’t stop until you were inside your car, wailing like a baby. You sobbed all the way back to the hotel. You cried as you packed your bags, and tried but failed to contain your tears all the way back home, until you were at your parents’ door, sobbing on their sofa.

They didn’t ask anything until a couple of hours later when you managed to stop crying.

“I hate Fernando, so much, Mamá,” you whispered.

“Honey, don’t say that. Don’t do or say something you might regret later on,” She told you. You shook your head.

“I’m done with him. Done.” You bit back a sob, “he was so cruel, you had to see it.”

“He’s your best friend, dear. I’m sure it will be alright later on.”

“You should’ve seen the hate in his eyes, I don’t know him anymore. That’s not my Nano.”

So, your racing career was a lie. You didn’t make it because of your talent or your efforts. You were in Formula 1 because of Fernando. That was the cruelest thing someone ever said to you, not only because he was mean in the way he said it, but because with a few words he diminished your entire career. And what could you come up with to contest? He was right. You would never be there without him.

You wanted to give up so badly at that moment. You wanted to stay home and never come back, but you knew you couldn’t, your sense of duty was loud and you had to make it work. You had to prove that you deserved your spot in Formula 1, that all of Flavio’s forced investment on you was worth it.

You had to prove to Fernando you were more than a friend he pitied, more than a charity case he took so he could throw it at your face later.

It was one of the hardest things to realize and accept, the fact that he wasn’t your friend anymore. Maybe he never was. Despite all the disagreements the past couple of years, and all the beautiful history you had before the pinnacle of motorsport, maybe he never saw you as a friend. You thought you’d never treat a friend the way he treated you.

So you had to prove Fernando wrong.

NOTE: If you want to be tagged on part 2, please let me know in the comments!

#f1 fanfic #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #formula 1 #f1 fic #f1 #formula one #fernando alonso x you #fernando alonso x reader #fernando alonso #brocedes #Spotify

[theidiotwhowritesthings]

TAKE CARE OF YOU [2]

Sugar Daddy!Joel Miller x Female!Reader

Overall Warnings: slow burn, angst/comfort, power imbalance, age gap, possessive tendencies, eventual smut, #daddyissues, independent reader learns to let go and relax, emotionally constipated Joel Miller learns to be vulnerable; (more specific warnings to be added to individual chapters if necessary)

Chapter Word Count: 7,029

Summary: You spent your entire adult life supporting yourself and barely getting by. It’s why a life of ease offered to you by a mysterious stranger sounded so foreign and unbelievable. Joel Miller, dressed in flannels that had seen better days, didn’t look like the kind who could promise you the world on a plate, but he seemed desperate to help out. All he asks is that you let him take care of you. That wouldn’t be so hard. Would it?

[a/n: i am having too much fun with this, my mind is going wild]

02: HE'S LOADED, BABE

"take a chance. risk everything. be honest. jump. go for it. be all in. why not. or why do anything at all." -jacob holguin

For the first time, maybe ever, you were the one with the insane story to share with Nima. You were actually kind of excited. When you texted her, she said she was still in the office and she told you to swing by because she wasn’t too busy. This wasn’t the first time you had been to her office, but you found it amusing every single time. The rest of the floor had the button down kind of look one would expect of a workplace, but Nima’s little corner was decorated in bright colors. It was a testament to her skill really. If you were indispensable then you could push boundaries.

“Hey!” Nima bounced when she saw you walking toward her office. You stepped in and dropped onto the couch she had pushed up against the wall. “I’m so glad you’re here. I have the craziest story.” Nima was rushing around the room putting away papers and blueprints. Her space was always poorly organized in your opinion, but according to her everything had its place. “It involves a loose chicken, a gallon of paint, and that asshole from the third floor I was telling you about.”

Unable to hold it in, you blurted it out. “I got asked to be a sugar baby.”

Nima blinked for a moment, dazed, then screeched in shock as she threw herself down onto the couch beside you. “Holy shit, what?? And you let me waste time talking about the chicken?” You did want to eventually hear about that. “Tell me everything.”

“You remember that guy I bought a coffee for like two weeks back?”

“Yes!” Nima gasped and you nodded. “Oh my God! I told you I felt sparks.” She paused. “Wait, can he afford to be a sugar daddy? He looked like a homeless cowboy when we saw him.”

You pointed to her. “So, are you thinking ‘cowboy’ too? Because I have been going back and forth between that and lumberjack, but I haven’t⏤”

“If you don’t give me more details right now...”

“Sorry.” You chuckled. You gave her the shorthand version of how he had been visiting you at the bakery and how it ended with him offering to ‘take care of you’ this afternoon. Nima just stared, mouth agape, the entire time. You finished by telling her that he had asked you to meet him this weekend. “So… yeah. Yeah.” You shot her a sheepish smile and just repeated yourself. “Yeah.”

Nima clapped her hands, excited, but you watched as she steeled her features. She shifted so she faced you entirely on the couch. “Wait. You’re always the voice of logic when I get myself into something insane. My turn.” She cleared her throat. “Are you sure you’re willing to basically fuck a stranger for all this? That’s not you.”

You twisted your lips at her words. Was it so out of the question for you to go out on a limb and put yourself out there? Granted, jumping from the vanilla lifestyle you lived to having sex with someone so they’d pay your bills was like going from 0 to 120 in a racecar⏤ or rocket.

As if Nima could see your inner turmoil, she pointed at you. “No, no. Don’t misunderstand. It’s not that I think you aren’t capable of making that decision and going for it. However, up until now you’ve been the serious relationship kind, and your last relationship was almost six months ago.” True. “Plus, you like monogamy. There is no guarantee that would occur here. What if he has multiple sugar babies? And⏤”

“It doesn't matter.” You blurted. You realized then that maybe you weren’t prepared to consider all those angles. You still hadn’t even gone on another date since your last boyfriend. “He doesn’t want sex.” Nima tilted her head in confusion. “The deal is he ‘takes care of me’ and I offer him platonic companionship. Be his date at some of his work functions⏤ no strings attached.”

Nima scoffed. “Girl, then what the fuck are you waiting for?? Say yes right now!”

“Well,” You laughed, “There’s a lot to consider.”

“No. The only thing to consider was sex and if that is off the table? Done.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Somehow, I don’t think a sugar baby and sugar daddy contract is⏤ Jesus, I can’t believe I’m saying these words.” You blew out a breath. “Anyways, I don’t think it’s that simple.”

Nima paused in thought. Her fingers drummed against her thigh for a few seconds before her face lit up with a bright smile. “We’re going out to dinner.” Nima jumped up to grab her phone and dialed a number. “My cousin has a friend who has a sister who knows all about this stuff.”

You mentally tried to follow the line of relation that Nima drew out, but you didn’t have the time to question her before she started talking on the phone in Korean. There was no telling what your evening would have in store, Nima knew an odd collection of people, but you assume anything would be helpful right now.

The restaurant you and Nima traveled to in order to meet this mystery woman was the definition of upper class. It was the kind of place you wouldn’t even stop outside of in fear that they’d call the cops on you for loitering. You especially didn’t feel prepared to walk in right now in your work clothes⏤ simple jeans and a plain shirt. At least the apron was removable. When you walked in you were fairly certain the man working as the host was going to throw you out. However, all it took was name dropping the person you were supposed to meet and the host led you back. He gave both of you disgusted looks the entire time, but he still took you back.

As he turned to leave, Nima flipped him off from behind and you quickly grabbed her arm to bring it down. You hissed at her. “We’re already on thin ice.” The table was in a private room. “Who is this?”

“Rosalind Turby.”

“Yeah, you’ve already told me the name, but who is this Rosalind lady?”

Nima shrugged. “All I know is her sister owes my cousin a favor so we’re cashing that shit in.”

You shrugged and the two of you entered the private room. It was elegantly decorated with florals and crystals. An odd combination in your opinion. The table in the middle of the room was covered in a white tablecloth set for three. A beautiful woman sat there on her phone, but she peered up at your entrance and a brilliant smile filled her features.

She stood up, “Hello, girlies!” Rosalind motioned for the two of you to join her. She was probably in her mid to late thirties if you had to guess. Her blonde hair was nearly platinum and fell past her shoulders in beautiful, perfect curls. Right now she had on a tight light blue dress with jewelry dripping from her neck and wrists⏤ all diamonds. Were those real?? She didn’t seem to bat an eye at the clothes you and Nima were wearing. “It’s so lovely to meet you two. I’m Rosalind.”

You both introduced yourselves before sitting down. Nima was quick to grab the wine bottle sitting on the table and began to pour. You resisted the urge to nudge her with your elbow. Rosalind rang a little silver bell sitting on the table and you nearly laughed at the sight of it until a waiter swept in. She ordered something for the group. At least that’s what you assumed based on the way she motioned to the table. It was hard to say considering she was speaking French.

Rosalind finished and focused back on you and Nima who were just staring at her in shock. She laced her fingers together and leaned forward. “So, I hear one of you girls is thinking of becoming a sugar baby.” Nima immediately pointed at you and you sheepishly raised a hand. “That’s so cute. What makes you want to branch into my world?”

“Oh.” You blinked. “You were⏤ are a sugar baby?”

Rosalind nodded and flipped some hair over her shoulder. “Have been since I was 23.”

“Holy shit.” Nima hissed at you. “Is this gonna be your life?”

You lightly smacked her thigh with the back of your hand. No. Of course not. This wasn’t⏤ Nah. Well… Was this going to be your life if you said yes? You couldn’t picture yourself sitting where Rosalind was right now. She had an air of natural elegance. There was no way a restaurant host ever shot her bad looks. 

Rosalind chuckled. “Well?”

“Uh,” You had briefly forgotten her question, “I’m not sure. A man…propositioned me and I have a couple days before he expects an answer from me.”

“You must be thinking it over seriously to involve me.”

“I hope we’re not bothering you.” You blurted. “We’re strangers but⏤”

Rosalind waved her hand with a laugh that reminded you of tinkling bells. Where had this woman come from? Was she made in some ‘perfect woman’ factory? She shook her head. “Please. I’m always eager to help the new girls enter this world of ours. We’re a tight knit group.”

“Really? There’s a community of… sugar babies?”

“Why of course!” Rosalind scoffed playfully. “We have to look out for one another after all.” She reached across the table to squeeze your hand. “So ask me all the questions you might have, sweetie.”

You glanced at Nima who just shrugged before tossing back the rest of her wine. “Um,” You smiled at Rosalind, “Have you had the same…uh, the same⏤”

“Daddy?” Rosalind chuckled and your cheeks burned. “You’re going to need to be comfortable calling him ‘daddy’. There’s no shame in it.” She shook her head. “And no. I’ve had seven so far.” Seven? It sounded like this woman had made an actual career of this lifestyle. That was impressive. Maybe she was the perfect person to ask questions to. “That’s a conversation for another day though. Let’s just focus on your first daddy.”

You chuckled, “Yeah, right. Well, how does it…work? He just said he wants to take care of me and that seems…vague.”

“It’s subjective usually.” Rosalind began. Waiters came in with trays of food and Nima rubbed her hands together in excitement. “If your contract with him is the basic kind then he pays for you to live. Rent, bills, expenses. Not to mention toys and gifts and all the fun kind of goodies.” She scrunched her nose like she was sharing an exciting secret. “And in return, you give him your lovely company.”

You knew exactly what she meant by company.

“You said contract?”

Rosalind nodded. “If your daddy truly has the kind of funds to really take care of you then he’ll push for a contract. This is your opportunity to set firm boundaries. The last thing you’d want is for him to get a piece of you just to toss you aside. Or worse, you get used to this kind of lifestyle just for him to suddenly change his terms and hang it over your head.” She sighed. “I’ve truly heard all the horror stories.”

“Horror stories?”

“Yes. This kind of relationship is built on trust, but not all those who get involved are deserving. You need to make sure the daddy trying to buy you isn’t going to take advantage or hurt you.” You winced both at the idea of being abused and the wording of her statement. Is that what this was? You were being bought? If she noticed your discomfort she didn’t mention it. Rosalind took a sip of her own wine. “How long have you known your daddy⏤”

“He’s not my daddy.” You blurted. 

“Yet.” Rosalind winked. Your cheeks burned again and you tried to imagine what it’d feel like calling Joel that. Could he even take you seriously? Someone like Rosalind using that phrase sounded tempting and sweet. You, in comparison, were just awkward. “So? How long? And has he mentioned any contract details?”

Nima chimed in, “Like two weeks-ish?” You nodded. “Would he even want a contract? That’s for just the super rich guys, right?”

“Typically.” Rosalind nodded. “Here. What’s his name?” Your eyes widened at the question. “If he’s been a daddy before I’ll know him. As I said, we’re a close knit community. We even keep a track of the men who are black listed. I’ll be able to tell you if he's a danger as well.”

Oh, that was helpful.

“Joel Miller.” You smiled. Rosalind’s smile fell right off her face, jaw popping open, and Nima spat out a mouthful of red wine. It splattered and stained the white tablecloth. Your eyes darted between them as they just stared at you. “What?”

“You never told me Mr. Miller wants to be your sugar daddy!” Nima cried.

“You were there the day I met him! And how do you even know him?” You asked.

Nima gaped at you like a fish out of water. “He owns the construction company that hired my office! I’ve never seen him, except in like a few pictures, but Mr. Miller was never wearing flannel in any of those photos. I seriously thought he might be homeless the day we met him.”

“Construction company?” You breathed.

Rosalind cleared her throat before taking a long sip of her wine. Her smile returned, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “Wow. I knew Joel Miller was on the market, but I wasn't aware he had chosen someone. And someone brand new for his first one.”

“I’d be his first too?” You asked. The knowledge that this was as new to him as it was to you actually made you feel much better. Maybe that was why he had been so nervous this afternoon. This was the first time he had ever offered that proposition. 

“Yes.”

Nima let out a laugh before shaking your shoulder, “He’s loaded, babe.”

“That’s a good description.” Rosalind chuckled. You were able to ask a few more questions, but about ten minutes later she glanced at her phone and then rose from the table. “I am so sorry, girlies. But I’m needed elsewhere.”

“Oh, well thank you for⏤”

She said your name in a sickly sweet tone while picking up her purse. You didn’t recognize the brand, but you knew it was probably just as expensive as everything else she wore. “I’m only saying this out of concern for you. Being a sugar baby can be very demanding and you seem to be jumping in the deep end.” Your eyes widened. “There’s a reason we all refer to Joel Miller as the ‘white whale’. He’s the dream daddy, but typically men with those kinds of means want the most. I’d hate to see you get hurt.”

“Thank…you?”

“Absolutely, sweetie.” She blew you and Nima a kiss before heading for the door. “So nice to meet you two!”

 Nima and you just watched her leave before turning to one another. You furrowed your brow. “That was kind of weird, wasn’t it? I thought it was going good, but…”

“I think she was jealous.” Nima replied. You rolled your eyes. “No, seriously.”

“Did you see her? The Rosalinds of the world do not get jealous over people like me.”

Nima scoffed. She motioned to you with her wine glass, “First of all, you’re a fucking catch. I’ve been telling you that for years and now you have proof beyond my genius because Joel Miller wants you to call him daddy.”

“That’s still weird to hear…”

“And secondly,” Nima continued on, “That warning she gave? That was a ‘I don’t want you to go through with this because I wish it were me instead’ kind of warning.” You leaned your head to rest it on the top of the chair’s back. As weird as this meeting had gone, it had been helpful. You learned a lot of things. “So? Are you gonna meet up with him?”

You blew out a sigh, “I’m still not sure.”

“Here.” Nima spun in her seat to face you. “Yes or no only. Got it?”

“Yes.”

“Do you like Joel Miller?”

 He was fun to talk to. You enjoyed the moments you got with him in the bakery. So, technically, you did. “Yes.”

“Do you think Joel Miller would physically hurt you if you just met up with him on Saturday?”

You never got that vibe from him before and if you met him in a public setting he wouldn’t be much of a danger to you. “No.”

“Do you want to explore this possibility a little further?”

“Yes.”

The answer came out easily enough. You weren’t ready to give a firm ‘no’ quite yet which almost felt odd. You weren’t used to relying on others for your needs. The idea of taking your hands off the wheel and letting someone else take control was daunting. However, the idea of not having to stress over bills or rent or finding a second job you didn’t love just to get by was very, very tempting. God, you just wanted a break.

“I think that’s your answer.” Nima shrugged. “Meet up with him on Saturday. You don’t have to necessarily say yes to him just because you met with him. This will just be a mission for further information.”

“Alright. Yeah.” You grinned and picked up your wine glass. “What the hell, right?”

“Exactly!” Nima cheered and the two of you clinked your glasses together before taking long sips. 

You glanced around the room and at the table. “Do you think Rosalind paid for this before she left?”

Nima nodded her head in thought. Then she poured more into her glass and tossed back the large gulp of red wine before she jumped up. “Wanna make a run for it?”

“Absolutely.” You grabbed your stuff and the two of you hurried off.

It took you over an hour to get dressed, and it was embarrassing how many outfit changes you had gone through. You almost googled ‘What to wear when meeting your sugar daddy to discuss terms’, but decided that would just stress you out more. After your dinner with Rosalind you had called Joel, a feat that was painfully nerve wracking for no good reason, and you both planned to meet up at the coffee shop where you had bought him that coffee. A public setting seemed like the best bet for you, and Joel was more than happy to accommodate. You almost suggested the bakery, but considering how empty it was these days you didn’t know if it actually counted as public.

You had shown up early, still not entirely loving the clothes you chose for this event, and now you were nursing a cup of iced coffee⏤ chewing on the straw nervously. The notes app on your phone had a bullet list of points you wanted to bring up, ask about, and you scanned through them for the hundredth time. Every single bullet point was burned in your brain, but you had a feeling the moment you saw Joel it would all disappear. You jumped in surprise when your phone buzzed as a call from Joel came through.

“Shit.” You breathed and watched it ring twice more before answering it. “Hey!”

The greeting left your lips loud and excited and you mentally cursed yourself for blurting it out like that. Jesus Christ you were overthinking this.

“Hey, darlin’.” Joel replied. Somehow his voice sounded even more charming through a phone which you found entirely unfair. “I hate to do this so last minute, but I’m not gonna make it to the coffee shop. A work meeting got outta hand, but…” He grumbled. “That doesn’t matter. I’m sorry.”

You twisted your lips and found yourself actually disappointed. “Oh. No, that’s alright. It happens. Do you want to reschedule for a different day or⏤”

“What? No.” Joel replied quickly. “This is important. I wanna talk to you about this today. Plus, I’d hate for you to get cold feet.” You chuckled at the irony because you kind of thought he was the one getting cold feet. “Can you meet me at my office? We can stay down in the lobby or courtyard, or in the cafe, so it’s still public.”

“Sure!” You chirped. “Uh, what’s the address? I’ll uber⏤”

Joel actually laughed at the word ‘uber’ and you just smiled more confused than anything else. He spoke up before you could question the joke. “I’m not gonna make you order a ride to my office, darlin’. I’m sending a car.” Your eyes widened. That was a wild sentence to hear out of his mouth, but you supposed that was par for the course. “Are you at the coffee shop right now?”

“Yes.” You glanced around as if you needed to double check. “But are you sure, Joel? You really don’t have to⏤”

“I want to.” Joel said firmly. “I’m, uh, I’m excited to see you.” Your cheeks burned at the admission. “Even if you’re just comin’ to tell me off it’d be a nice break from my day today.” The sigh at the end of his sentence made it clear he was stressed or frustrated about something. “I’m sending my driver now. Should be ten minutes or so.”

“Got it.” You cleared your throat. “I’ll… see you soon then, Joel.”

“See you soon, darlin’.” He chuckled.

You hung up and just stood there for a second. He was sending a car. A car that would take you to his office of the very successful company he owns. One of the plus sides of meeting Joel in the coffee shop was that it’d feel like equal ground. However, you knew this was something you needed to get used to. You had already decided that you would be accepting his proposition as long as nothing crazy happened during this meeting.

You’d be stupid to turn it down, right?

Before you could turn and go wait outside, you paused in thought then made the decision to buy him a cup of coffee. You still remembered what he ordered the last time, and maybe it’d cheer him up a little. This meeting would go better if he was in a good mood rather than stressed about work, you figured. After buying the coffee, you only had to wait outside a minute or two before a very nice black sedan pulled up to the curb. Was that for you?

A man exited the car and came around to open the back door. He made eye contact with you and called out your name. “Oh.” You waved. “Hi, yeah. That’s me.” Obviously, he knew that. You hurried over and climbed into a car with a stranger. The thing every adult told you not to do while growing up. When the driver got back behind the wheel, you spoke up. “Thank you.”

The driver didn’t speak to you during the drive, but you weren’t sure of the etiquette of these things. There were some Uber drivers that hated it when you spoke up to them. Maybe this was the same. The car pulled up to the curb after fighting traffic and you peered out of your window to the large, very impressive building right outside your door. It was at least seven stories, but it was wider than it was tall and built with a steel and glass design. The campus surrounding it was also gorgeous with an expansive courtyard that seemed to roll right into a park next door.

“Holy shit.” You breathed.

You were so distracted by the landscape that you didn’t notice the man in an expensive looking suit approaching the car. It took even longer for you to realize that man was Joel Miller. He reached out to open the door and you sat stunned as he leaned against it

“Hey there, darlin’.” Joel greeted with a small smile. Up until now, you had only seen him in flannels and t-shirts, but by God did this man know how to wear a suit. The one he had on was a dark navy with a clean white button up. If he had on a tie before he had shed it because the top couple buttons were undone. His hair was combed back neatly and though it was still a good look for him, it made you miss his fluffed up, messy curls. His head tilted a bit, amusement filling his dark eyes, “Darlin’?”

It dawned on you that you had yet to speak. Panicked, you held up the drink you had bought for him. “Coffee.”

“Yes. That is.” Joel chuckled. He held a hand out for you to take.

When your hand settled in his, he carefully pulled you out of the car and shut the door behind you. Joel leaned over to nod his head to the driver in thanks before turning back to you. You cleared your throat and held the coffee up once more. “Yours. It’s⏤ I got it for you. It’s the same one as last time.” Joel’s eyes widened in surprise. “You just sounded stressed so I thought coffee might help.”

“Well, ain’t you a sweetheart?” Joel replied with a growing smile. He took the cup from you then shook his head. “You should know this is a one time thing though.” You raised an eyebrow in question. Joel chuckled. “The point of this is,” He motioned between the two of you with the hand holding the cup of coffee, “I’m supposed to be buyin’ you stuff.”

You chewed on your lower lip and tried to find your bearings. “It felt weird coming with nothing to offer you.”

“All I need is your company. Thought I made that clear?” He countered.

“Still.” You shrugged. “Old habits die hard, I guess.”

“Fine. That just means you can’t argue against the things I bought you for this meetin’.

You blinked. “The what?” 

Joel didn’t respond. Instead, he held out one elbow in your direction and after a beat you slipped your arm through his. He led you across the campus and you couldn’t keep yourself from glancing over at him. Joel looked like an entirely different person, but when he spoke he still felt like the man you spoke to over a bakery counter. 

“How’s your day been so far, darlin’?”

“Good! Just, you know, normal.” You were not going to mention that you spent your entire morning just mentally and physically preparing for this meeting. “What about you? You sounded kind of frustrated over the phone.” Joel glanced down at you and you shook your head. “Not that you need to tell me if it’s personal or about your company. Obviously.”

Joel let out a breathy laugh. “Am I makin’ you nervous?”

Not wanting to lie, you scrunched your nose and just blurted out the truth. “A little. I guess I’m not used to seeing you like this and your company building is so fancy and I also think I’m starting to overthink this again. Don’t get me wrong I’m excited to see you, but…” Joel’s small smile remained as he listened to you ramble. “I should shut up now.”

“I’d rather you not.” Joel shrugged. “You have a nice voice.” 

Your face felt warm, a habit around this man you were learning, and he led you into the lobby of the building. It was just as pretty inside as it was outside. Open, filled with natural light, and decorated with glass panels and shades of soft green and blue. Eyes drifted to Joel, but he didn’t seem to pay any attention to it. He walked you up to the second floor where a small cafe-like area sat in the corner by the window giving a view of the park. Even more people seemed to stare as he pulled a chair out for you to sit in before sitting across from you. The other surrounding tables had what looked like workers on their lunch break.

“Anythin’ I can do to make you less nervous?” Joel asked. He took a sip from the coffee you got him. It was funny he asked because this was somehow more intimidating than just walking arm in arm. Now, across from him, you needed to maintain eye contact. 

You hummed and crossed your arms to rest on the table. “Tell me something embarrassing that will humanize you to me.”

“Embarassin’...” Joel hummed in thought. He laced his fingers together and nodded. “In college, I tried to serenade a girl I wanted to date with my guitar but I was under the wrong window and an old woman opened the window to dump a bucket of water on me. Then she called the cops.”

You grinned. “Nice. Except all I heard from that is ‘you are a romantic who can play the guitar’ so that only makes you more attractive and intimidating to me.”

“I’m attractive to you?” Joel smirked.

“I also said ‘intimidating’.” You replied then motioned to yourself. “This exercise was to make you less so and somehow I embarrassed myself even more? That does not seem fair.”

Joel shrugged, “If it makes you feel better I think it’s cute.” A stupid smile slipped onto your features and you shook your head with a small laugh. He leaned forward a bit and furrowed his brow. “I will admit though I have been dyin’ to hear your answer from the other day.” You sucked in a sharp breath. Joel’s lips twitched up once more. “So? Am I a cowboy or a lumberjack?”

Not expecting the question broke out in a laugh of surprise. Admittedly, it put your nerves at ease. You relaxed in your seat with a grin. “I actually do have an answer for you. I think I’ve settled on cowboy.” Joel’s eyebrows raised. “My friend helped me decide. She called you a cowboy too. Although, she also called you homeless.”

Joel chuckled. “Homeless?”

“You looked worse for wear when we first saw you that one day.” You shook your head. “But look at you now! You clean up well, Joel Miller. Owner of Miller Construction Company. Actual multi-millionaire.”

He bobbed his head with a slight wince. Joel rubbed the side of his jaw sheepishly, “I see you did your research.”

“A bit.” You answered. “I actually, uh, met with a…sugar baby.” Joel’s eyes widened and you wondered if it was because it was the first time one of you finally used the term ‘sugar baby’ in conversation or because you had met with one to interview. Maybe both. “I needed to ask her a few questions. You were infamous, by the way.”

“Infamous?”

You let out a small laugh. “Oh, yeah. Apparently every single sugar baby in LA, of which there is a community if you didn't know, wants you as their ‘daddy’.” Joel cleared his throat, shifting in his seat, and you could see a tint of blush across his cheeks. It made your smile widen. “They call you the ‘white whale’.”

“Jesus Christ.” Joel ran a hand through his hair, making it a bit messier which you found you enjoyed seeing, and he blew out a breath. “I told ‘em not to make such a big deal of it.” Amused, you leaned forward and rested your head on a fist making it clear you were waiting for elaboration. Joel chuckled. “I mentioned my… idea to an old friend, and he got me in touch with this group.” He raised an exasperated eyebrow and waved his hand. “Apparently that group. They, uh, they made me go on… dates.”

“Made you?” You teased. “Like at gunpoint?”

Joel shrugged. “May as well have been.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “That day I forgot my wallet? I had just met a bunch of different women who were…interested in being…”

“Your sugar baby?” You grinned.

“You’re enjoyin’ this a little too much.” Joel crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes at you. “I think I liked it better when you were ramblin’ ‘bout how handsome I am.”

You held up a finger. “Hold up. I didn’t ramble about how handsome you are. I just said I found you attractive.” Joel smirked and you resisted the urge to roll your eyes. “And also, when my friend and I saw you that day you were wearing a dirty flannel and old jeans.”

“Yeah. So?”

“So you went on a bunch of dates with women wanting to be your sugar baby, looking like that?”

Joel shrugged. “I was just tryin’ to be real. Hate these damned things.” He readjusted his suit blazer. “I thought it’d be best to show up how I usually look. Find someone who had similar ideals. I also took them to a diner to eat.” You covered your mouth, trying to hide the wide grin you were wearing. Joel shook his head. “What?”

“It’s just… You’re telling me that on all those dates with women who wanted to specifically be your sugar baby,” You said slowly trying to bite back a laugh, “You wanted to find someone who wasn’t in it for the money.”

Joel paused in thought before his face cracked in amusement. His cheeks tinted pink again and he forced his gaze away from yours with an embarrassed wince. “When you say it like that…”

“That’s adorable.” You nodded.

“I think I preferred the word handsome.”

“Never used that one.”

“Attractive then.”

“Nah,” You leaned back in your seat with a shrug, “I think I’ve settled on adorable.”

Joel clapped his hands and rubbed them together. “Alright. Guess I’ll take what I can get.” The sound of a phone buzzing cut through the air and you watched as Joel leaned back to pull his cellphone out of his pocket. “One second, darlin’.” He frowned at whatever message he was reading on his screen. It was interesting to watch the lighthearted smile he had been wearing switch to a grumpy frown. He grunted out a sound of irritation before shoving his phone back into his pocket with a shake of his head. When his eyes met yours once more, the frustration melted back into a small smile. “Sorry 'bout that.”

“Don’t worry. You’re a busy man. Running a company and all.” You held your arms up to motion to the building you now sat in. Joel chuckled, and you shifted in your seat. It was now or never. He really was a busy guy. Couldn’t beat around the bush forever. “So… should we talk about the proposition?”

Joel shrugged. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

“Well, we can’t sit here just joking around forever. You have work to do, right?”

“No.” Joel shook his head. “You’re in control of this conversation, and as far as I’m concerned if you wanna sit here and chat for the next few hours I’m more than happy to do just that.”

A warm sense of reassurance filled your chest and you nodded. “Thank you, but I think I’m ready to talk about it.” You held up your phone. “I even made bullet points.”

“Very organized. Better than half the people who work for me today.” Joel joked.

You took in a slow breath and then held a hand out to concede the next talking point to him. “Tell me your proposition.”

“Sure.” Joel laced his fingers together again and rested it on the table in front of him with a professional nod. “I wanna take care of you, darlin’. Every resource I have is at your disposal. I don’t want you worryin’ about bills or rent or any sort of money issue you might normally face.” You tried not to show any surprise. You obviously knew all of that, but hearing him say it again in this setting felt different. “All I ask in return is your platonic companionship, and you on my arm at a few company conferences and functions.” Joel offered you a reassuring smile. “I just like talkin’ to you is all, darlin’.”

You bobbed your head in understanding and searched for what you wanted to say. Unable to grasp a single word you held up a finger and opened your phone to find your bullet points. You heard Joel chuckle. “By platonic companionship, can you be more specific? Is there some kind of quota I have to meet weekly?”

“No, darlin’. It ain’t that formal.” Joel replied. “And as for specifics? Uh, I figure just phone calls. Texting, maybe? In the evenings we could meet up sometimes and have dinner?” As he answered your question you were reminded that you were his first sugar baby. It made you feel better that he was apparently as nervous and confused as you. “I figure we can puzzle it out as we go?”

“Got it.” You nodded. “My next question,” You glanced down at your phone then back up, “Just to absolutely clarify, there is no expectation for anything…” You leaned forward and lowered your voice, “Sexual?”

“Exactly. I never want you to feel uncomfortable around me, darlin’.” Joel said firmly. “All I’m askin’ for is,” He pointed down toward the table as if to make his point, “This right here. Just chattin’.”

“Really?” You asked in surprise. “That’s it?"

“Yeah.”

“You’re offering me a life of ease, the world on a platter, and all you want from me is to chat?”

Joel shook his head and leaned forward. “What I want is to take care of you. I wanna watch you enjoy life instead of constantly workin’ and stressin’. Along with your presence, that’s the reward I’m gettin’.” 

“Oh, okay.” You bit down on your lower lip in thought. It really did seem too good to be true. A different question came to mind, a kind of embarrassing one, but it was probably best to clarify it now at the start of this. You settled your face between your hands and nervously asked. “Am I still allowed to flirt with you?” Joel’s eyes widened in surprise, but they filled with interest. “It’s just, sometimes at the bakery…” Half the fun of talking to him was getting to flirt with him. “I mean, I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable either.”

Joel shook as he let out a quiet laugh. “You really don’t have to worry about that, darlin’.” His cheeks were flushed, but he kept his charming voice confident and firm as he winked. “If you wanna flirt with an old man like me, I won’t complain.”

“Alright, and you’ll match my energy?”

“Sure, darlin’.” He chuckled.

You wondered if he was fully aware of what he was signing up for. This meant you could say what you wanted without the stress of being pressured into something. Joel was a handsome man and the thrill of flirting with him was exciting. You lowered your hands from your face and rested them on the table.

“Hmm. Sounds like a plan then.” You nodded and decided to test the waters. You tried to force every awkward nerve out of your body and stayed confident. “Anything else we should clarify, daddy?”

It took all your strength not to laugh at the look of shock that flashed across his face or the color that filled his cheeks. Joel cleared his throat and straightened his posture before readjusting his suit’s blazer once more. A hoarse chuckle fell from his lips as delight filled his eyes, “You’re gonna be a bit of a brat, ain’t you sugar?”

“Me? Never.” You said with mocking emphasis. “Now, do we need a contract or something?”

“If it’d make you more comfortable we can make one.” Joel shook his head. “I have no preference.” You shrugged. Rosalind said he’d want one, but if he didn’t you saw no reason to press for one. Joel held a hand out across the table for you to shake. “So? This official then?”

You sucked in a breath then nodded and took his hand to shake. “Guess so.”

“Good.” Joel held your gaze and you felt hypnotized by him. He squeezed your hand once before pulling it back and reaching into his jacket. “I have some things for you then.” Your eyebrows raised surprised by how quick he had something prepared. “Here.”

Joel pulled a brand new iPhone from his inner coat pocket along with what looked like a credit card. A black American Express card to be more specific. He set both in your hands and your jaw fell open in shock. “This…What…I⏤”

“Your phone looks ancient.” Joel shrugged. You glanced down at your current phone. It was a few editions behind and the screen was cracked from where you had dropped it months ago, but it still worked. Usually. Joel tapped his finger against the card sitting on top of the phone that you had yet to pull back towards yourself. Your hand just sat open in the middle of the table. “I want you to use the card for anythin’ you might need during the week.”

“Like?” You pressed.

“I said anythin’, sugar.” Joel replied in a low voice and you sucked in a sharp breath. “That’s the point of this, remember?” You nodded dumbly and he slowly closed your fingers around the items then pushed your hand back towards your side of the table. “I also need you to send me the billing information for your rent, power, and water so I can get those covered. Can you do that for me?”

You gaped at him in shock and it widened Joel’s smirk. Seconds ago you had him in the palm of your hand with your ‘daddy’ comment, but now the tables were turned. It was occurring to you that having him pay for you to live your life meant actually accepting his money. 

“Sugar,” Joel leaned forward, still keeping his voice low in a hoarse whisper, “I asked if you could do that for me.”

“I, uh, yes, sir.” The honorific slipped your lips before you could catch it.

Joel raised an eyebrow at it before nodding once with a grin. “Good girl.”

Oh, boy, you were jumping headfirst into something here, and you had never been more eager for the leap.

taglist:

@weddingfairy @bfences @fairntonorth @jasminedragon @biwitchy @huffle-punk

[previous][next]

✨J.M. Masterlist✨

#the last of us #tlou fanfiction #tlou #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #sugar daddy!joel miller #female reader #reader insert #pedro pascal characters

[rockanroller]

i actually watched the first two episodes and i just gotta say they left me feeling just kinda…meh?

beautiful BGs, props to the animators and designers, some really good character acting.

but the plot flow… was so… empty? yeah, they packed in a lot of exposition and character intros but to the point there was little room for you to like…sit with the info, laugh, or enjoy a moment before having to listen for the next piece of lore or story point. not to mention some of the lore was straight up confusing.

some shots gave enough pause, just overall it felt very like… bloated/rushed/one thing and then the next with no real interest or entertainment taking place inbetween (to me) if that makes sense?

i can see how less critical folks that are attached to the characters would enjoy this though. but of course it leaves the question of how would this experience be for fresh new audiences who *don’t* know all the lore?

ironically Adam had me dying. i was not expecting to laugh at him after reading his various lines showing a misogynistic douche but the way they were executed slayed me—though tbf i suspect it was due to the ep already had worn me down combined with his first batch of lines being more “Preppy Jock Thinks He’s Cool But He’s Clearly A Dumbass” vibes to me, then of course the misogyny trickled in and it was like ok jerk villain got it.

other occasional moments gave me a chuckle i can admit as much.

Katie Killjoy was awful. to me she was completely out of place with Brandon’s voice, that was just…him. she only had a few lines so who knows if she’ll show up and they felt it was fine for a one-time gag—idk we’ll see.

Valentino… …bro… his accent was all over the place… i couldn’t even tell what it was “supposed” to be until he delivered some pre-song lines but until that he was slipping between accents i couldn’t place, back to a flat American “Just Some Guy” accent then back to a deeper accented voice that I couldn’t place…woof, just odd.

Angel’s trauma felt sudden/forced in like a lot of things in the episodes did.

the whole redeeming sinners thing i felt wasn’t executed great either, i had a hard time understanding Charlie’s outlook as it was shown in the episodes. and her values? she literally **applauds** Sir Pentious for his performance in a growth exercise for declaring that he will not do drugs and he will wait to have sex until after marriage, and Angel Dust is standing right there like…girl what?

does Charlie believe that shit or is she just going by what she thinks will get sinners into heaven? it’s unclear. she also seems generally off-put and disturbed by several of the sinners in the Happy Day In Hell song that she allegedly wants to redeem so badly/cares so much about so…what does she see in them?

idk, thems my first impressions. opinions subject to change.

#Hazbin hotel first impressions #thoughts #Hazbin hotel critical #vivziepop critical

[lucysarah-c]

Self-sabotage

Warnings: none. Oh wait, yes, LEVI BEING A CUTIE.

Pairing: Levi x reader.

Summary: Erwin begs Levi to buy him a coffee on his way to university. Having a crush in a barista is so hard when you don't like coffee. FLUFF FLUFF EVERYWHERE. Levi being an awkward cutie. Mordern university au.

Words: 2507 In case you want to check out other works of mine -> here a link to my masterlist.

Clumpy pale slender fingers searching for what was remaining on his leather brown wallet. Quick glance at the clock hanging on the wall. 6:30 am. He had a class presentation in less than an hour. His fingers trembled and his eyes fluttered to the light. He had stayed up for more than 48hs in a row and, even for him, it was too much. The end of the month, he barely had money for some instant ramen brought at some convenience store.

The early sunlight that came inside the shop made him frown, as if the universe had no right to be that bright and happy when he was dead inside. His tired eyes moved up to check once again the prices on the blackboard and clicked his tongue. He barely had money to make it and he admired the rest of the place that matched the vibes of the blackboard.

The place gave away this aesthetic of old school, academia. He wasn’t sure if the prices were to cover up the expenses of buying stuff to make the place look exactly as somewhere where “I’m relatable” influencers would go to do a promotion or to make rich people feel special. Whatever it was, he grimance unpleased.

His combat boot tapped the floor repeatedly, he was in a hurry. Took out the phone from his jeans and checked Erwin’s message again. ‘It’s on your way,’ he repeated in his mind with mockery ‘Yeah because I live across the city, son of a bitch, everything is on my way,’

‘He better pay me back, I need each cent not like certain someone whose father is a politician,’

The whole place screamed “Erwin would waste money here,” and he wouldn’t be doing the blond a favour if it wasn’t because Erwin was one of the only wealthy assholes he tolerated and their friendship has been going on for too many years already. Overall, he wouldn’t have put a step inside there. Not only because the prices were way out of his league as someone who survived with part time jobs and a scholarship that covered the tuition. But also because the only caffeine drink that he enjoyed was a good black tea, coffee felt horrendous in his not so humble opinion.

His turn, finally. Rushed to take the order, checked the receipt given to him to make sure it was his. Grabbed the handful napkins that he was given, took the coffee from the top part and handed the money that he had carefully counted before hand. He was ready to leave, rush through the door and go to his class.

“Thank you so much for your order, I hope you’ve a great day” The soft female voice arrived from the other side of the counter. The light that came from the left window landed on her face with such grace, making the tips of her eyelashes turn blond and her eyes shined with a magnificent colour. Her cheeks softly reddish and the bottom of her eyes raising as she smiled at him. Hair out of the way in a ponytail with some cute scrunchy.

His brain did a dead short and his lips parted a slightly bit, mouth hanging open as if he was stupid. Any kind of mind process eluded him as the only rational thought was ‘She’s gorgeous,’

“May I help you with anything else?” Levi wasn’t aware if it was the lack of sleep, the lack of a healthy lifestyle taking a toll on him or that her voice actually sounded like a chorus of angels.

“Are you alright?” her confusion brought him back to earth and he felt extremely embarrassed all the sudden.

“Yeah, yeah,” he repeated, feeling ridiculously awkward. His right hand grabbed the disposable mug from the top as he was used to and it almost spilled all of the insides if he wouldn’t have been quick to grab it from the bottom too.

“Oh my god, are you ok? Did you get burned?” She quickly rushed to check on him and her face getting closer made him blush intensely.

“I’m fine,” he spitted out as he used the napkins to clean the counter, throw them in the trash and left the place like a bat out of hell.

Once he arrived at his class, Erwin was waiting there to pick up his order.

“Thank you, Lev.”

Levi groaned some monosyllabic reply as Erwin hanged him the money.

“Keep the change,” Erwin was eager to take the mug to his lips as he hung a $20 bill. “I don’t have anything smaller,”

“I don’t need your charity” Levi replied faking offence as he quickly picked up his pace

“Well, then give it back.”

“Fuck you, this is my dinner,”

Attempting against his wallet, he decided to go in again. The next Monday, same hour, same place. He crossed the deep English green walls of the coffee shop as the bells of the entrance announced his presence. Eyes focused on the tiny old-fashioned golden bell and cursed under his breath, he didn’t want to be noticed and that inanimate object wasn’t helping.

“Welcome back!”

Levi froze in place as he felt a chill running down his spine. He slowly turned to the right and there she was mopping the floor. Bright smile as she looked at him. Hectic grey eyes moved from one place to another, only to realise it was only him there. Too much exposure, he felt the necessity to open the door again, leave and never come back after such shameful moment.

But he didn’t, he stood there awkwardly in the front door as he wondered what he could probably say.

“Would you like the same as the previous time?” She inquired as she cleaned her hands on the green apron that matched the walls and moved to the coffee machine.

“Sure” His replied came out uninterested, it was either that or him stuttering. Hands on pockets, avoiding eye contact.

“I’ve time today, would you like me to give you some special offer? Maybe you could taste it and tell me if I should suggest to the owner” She was so outgoing, so charming.

And… and Levi felt like his mother must have dropped him as a baby because he was so stupidly antisocial and awkward. The urgent need to scream to the part of his brain that was supposed to comprehend human relationships “DO SOMETHING” felt overpowering as he failed to come out outgoing.

“Sure,” He sounded like a broken record spun in endless circles.

“Great! Thank you!”

They locked eyes, she was so cheerful and he felt so socially constipated that frowning came as his natural reaction.

“Mh, well, if you’re in a hurry it’s alright” Her enthusiastic tone melted away quickly as it revealed a slightly sad expression with a condescending grimace.

“No, I’m fine,” Levi’s cut and monotone reply was quick to come.

“It’s just that you seem slightly … angry,” The girl did an awkward smile, as if she tried to ease out the mood.

This time Levi did feel the urge to turn around, leave the place and throw himself from the first bridge that he could find.

“I’m not mad,”

“Alright… I’ll be fast!”

“I’m out.” was the message that Erwin received in the middle of a lecture. Frowning expression looking up to find Levi waiting right outside of the classroom. The blond distinguished his appearance even through the frosted glass. He abandoned the lecture for a second, taking long steps to shorten the distance.

“What are you doing here ?” Erwin whispered, trying to not disrupt the class.

Levi didn’t reply, just pushed the coffee mug into Erwin’s hand.

“Oh- why thank you,” Erwin was beyond confused as he searched for money in his pockets and hanged another $20 bill “Her-”

He couldn’t even reply that Levi had taken the money and walked away.

“What's gotten into him?”

After uncounted weeks, Levi swore that he was literally living out of Erwin’s spare change. Soon he found out that she worked there every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Friday double turn. Her name was Y/N, she studied biochemistry and being a barista was a hobby that she turned into a sort of profession to ease her loans. She had a cat named Noctem because it was all black and she wanted to sound “snob” using a latin word. She was in her second year and was two years younger than him.

“How is that one?”

Levi had already turned around to leave when he heard her voice once again. He looked back confused.

“Coffee, how is it?” She insisted.

“Huh?”

“It’s just that you never drink them here so I don’t know if you liked it,” Her body rocked a bit as she played with her hair, blushing.

The momentary panic overtook his body but he thanked his forever unfazed expression to keep it chill. The mug was raised to his lips and he took a quick sip. He fought each living cell inside his body to not gag in disgust. Coffee was just not his thing.

“Not bad,” He said, gathering saliva to wash out the taste remaining in his mouth.

“Really?!” Her enthusiasm was palpable in her features and Levi felt overwhelmingly bad that he could only try to fake a side smile.

“Yeah…”

“Why are you buying me coffees?” Erwin shouted the question as the situationship was getting absurdly abnormal.

“What do you mean with why? It’s on my way to here,” Levi replied faking dementia.

Erwin’s blue eyes squinted as he observed the short man’s body language “Yeah like the past 3 years and yet this is the first time you’re this nice,”

“What are you talking about? I’m always nice”

“Not even yourself believe that,”

Erwin knew something was odd so, when the semester was almost over, he had some time to spare after passing all his finals. He popped up at his regular coffee place, because it was his regular. Lined up and waited for his turn, the bell of the front door rang announcing someone new coming in. The blond, as a reflection of boredness of waiting for his turn, checked the new customer over his shoulder.

Levi froze in place and, if he was naturally pale, he ran paper white when Erwin and him locked eyes. He quickly turned around to leave from where he came but Erwin was already touching his shoulder and loudly announcing “Levi, no time no see!”

The other customers turned around after the loud exclamation, judging eyes landing on both of them and forcing the short man to stay in the process. The Ackerman cursed under his breath knowing damn well the blond was doing it on purpose.

“What are you doing here?” Erwin quickly shot the question.

“What does it look like? Buying you a damn coffee. Since you’re here, I’m leaving” Levi spit each word quickly as his eyes kept checking the front desk to see if he could leave without being seen.

Erwin who was a quiet sharp man noticed immediately “Well, since we are both already here. We should have a coffee together,”

“I’ve no reason to be here-”

“Levi!” ringing melodic voice saying his name from the back of the shop. Both students looked in that direction, a young girl crossing the counter as she walked over them with a bright smile.

Erwin smiled, not to the girl in particular, but prideful. ‘ There it is, the reason’ As he shyly looked from the corner of his eyes to his friend who looked like he wished the earth would swallow him right there.

“I passed my finals!” She announced as she got close enough, did a momentary check on Erwin and greeted him. The blond didn’t take it as an offence that the girl paid him little to no attention “How went yours? How did that essay that you say the professor was being irrationally strict go?”

‘Ok, they definitely know each other,’ Erwin was quick to pick up.

“It was alright,” Levi's monotone voice replied as if he was so uninterested.

“That’s so good. I’m happy for you,”

The way she searched for his eye contact, her slightly shy body language, her rosy cheeks, her subtle smile, the nervous bit on her bottom lip. Erwin wanted to scream, it was obvious that the girl had a crush on him. Only Levi wouldn’t notice.

“You two want a table?” She questioned going back to her work mindset.

“No,” “Yes,”

Mixed replies. The both men exchanged dead glances.

“We’re definitely staying for a coffee,” Erwin insisted with his “oh so charming” smile.

“Great! I will get you two seated,”

She walked away to clean a place. And once left alone, they two began to bicker in low voice.

“What are you doing? I’ve class in thirty minutes!” Levi insisted.

“You’re not running away. You own me one, I’m basically paying your meals”

“Tch,”

The argument concluded with Levi’s tongue clicking and her walking up to them. Once sat down, Levi kept checking the clock of his phone. He’s going to be late.

“I don’t know what the fuck are you thinking on, but whatever it is make it quick. I’m already running late”

Erwin, unmoved by his friend’s naturally aggressive nature, remained stoic to not give away his next move. “Fine,” he spitted shortly. 

“Have you two decided what you would prefer?”

“Yes,” Erwin smiled back at her as he hanged the menus for the girl to take “I was wondering if you could give my friend your number because he actually hates coffee and he is looking like an moron coming here every day just to see you,”

Erwin’s cheeky smile didn’t match the girl's confused face. Levi’s hands that were resting on the table pushed him backwards until he hit the back of the seat, eyes opened up as he felt his soul leaving his body and his complexion paled.

Frozen in place, he pondered around slipping down and hiding under the table. His jaw hurt from clenching his teeth out of embarrassment. ‘There goes my social life,’

Neither of them moved an inch and for a second Erwin evaluated that maybe he hadn’t read her body language that good previously. Once she went back to herself, she chuckled. Raising Manu to her face covering her mouth as she had a short blast.

She cleaned her throat as if she was about to give a speech and said “Well, tell your friend that I gave him my number the very first day he came in. He just used the napkin to clean the counter,”

When the information sinked in, the mind processed and recreated the flashback in his head; Levi covered his face with his hands. Pale fingers against his hot face. Groaning loudly, he cursed himself “I’m an idiot,”

She chuckled “Would you like tea to take away? We have a few options”

“Yeah, please,”

#levi ackerman #levi #attack on titan #aot #shingeki no kyojin #captain levi #levi aot #snk levi #snk #attack on titans #levi x reader #levi x y/n #aot levi #snk levi ackerman #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackeman #levi attack on titan #shingeki no kyoujin levi #captain levi ackerman x you #captain levi x reader #captian levi x reader #captain levi fanfiction #captain levi ackerman x reader #captain levi ackerman x y/n #captain levi ackerman fic #captain levi x you #captain levi ackerman #levi ackeman x reader #AoT #snk erwin

[ctimenefic]

don't like a gold rush

sometimes you watch a video of James Vowles calling Alex special and your mind goes blank and three weeks later you have 6k

everlasting thanks to @latecomersprivilege for cheerleading, proofreading, and encouraging my crimes

don't like a gold rush Rated Explicit Fandom F1 RPF Pairing Alexander Albon/George Russell 5,951 words In which Alex having a good boss for once drives George absolutely mad.

First part below:

James Vowles is the best thing that could have happened for Williams. Well, the best in 2023, second overall - second to signing Alex. George truly believes that, has said it often, loudly, to anyone unfortunate enough to be nearby with a microphone. Even as the spectre of getting caught in the Albon DRS train gets ever closer, even as the W14 lets him down at every turn, he’s still got a massive soft spot for his old team. He wants the best for them. He wants the best for Alex.

And James as a boss is everything Horner wasn’t, as far as George can tell. Even-tempered. Even-handed. Kind. George has been in the Mercedes orbit long enough to see that. James wasn’t the type to talk down to a fourteen-year-old touring a garage with eyes like saucers. Instead he offered a steadiness even Toto couldn’t match. His good opinion had been worth having, and George had fought to get it.

He likes James, for Christsakes.

So, it’s something of a surprise to find himself grinding his teeth as Alex gets second-beer tipsy and starts waxing poetic about what a difference he’s made to the team.

They’ve got a small table at the back of a footie pub in London, where not a single regular is under 60 and clearly no one gives two shits about Formula One. It’s not built for tall men; their knees jam up against each other. George is slightly too warm in his jumper and coat, prickles of heat across the back of his shoulders. And his molars ache as Alex keeps going on about bloody James Vowles.

“Some of it’s the car, obviously, and the calendar,” Alex is saying, too media-trained to not add context and caveats in any declaration, “but James is just- like, no offence to Jost, but- he gets it. It’s like we’re all going in the same direction. Points aren’t a fucking miracle anymore, it’s expected, but not in a bad way, you know?”

“Don’t rule out the driver,” George adds, because he’s pathetic, really, weak for the indulgent eyeroll and grin Alex throws him to hide the genuine pleased flush of a compliment. And, because, well. It can’t all be James.

He’s not blind to the fact Alex has dragged Williams higher than he ever managed. And yes, it’s a different car, a different set up, but Alex is fucking quick, and it’s about time someone else noticed.

“No, but really, it’s- Look, I’m not saying it’s perfect, I’m sure Logan has something to say about his contract renewal, but I’ve never had a boss who takes care of the team like he does. It’s nice,” Alex finishes, with that half-shrug he adopts to couch his opinions in nonchalance. George knows him too well to fall for it.

Something hot and slick and sour coats the inside of his chest cavity, roiling up from his belly. He necks the rest of his pint before it can escape over his tongue. “He takes care of you?” he manages, and it almost sounds normal, squeezed out of his throat like that, everything else trapped behind his teeth.

A glint comes into Alex’s eye. “I’m sure it’s not the full Toto Wolff experience-”

“Piss off.”

“-holidaying together, sharing a crossword, father-son fishing trips-”

“Piss off!”

“But, yeah. Logan more, obviously, he needs it more. But- you know after Silverstone, after you pointed out the shoulder thing, he had them look at the seat again? That kind of thing.”

Of course George remembers Silverstone. He’d joked about it, under the watchful eyes of the press and a Williams PR woman who knew him far too well, because Alex hated when George made a sincere fuss, but he could just about get away with taking the piss.

It’s good, he reminds himself, that James doesn’t want the car to shake his drivers to pieces. But that doesn’t stop the sudden blinding vision of James pressing a bandage against Alex’s skin.

George had done it, back in the summer, when Alex had tripped on their run and the jerk of the fall had reopened the scar from the seat. George had only had these stupid Superdrug plasters, all too small, so he’d had to line three up, carefully overlap them and smooth them down so they wouldn’t ruck up into a mess when Alex rolled his shoulders. Alex had said he was making too much of a fuss then as well, but he’d shivered as George ran a thumb around the edge of each plaster to check the seal.

It hadn’t been normal for George, obviously, having his best mate half-naked in his bathroom, the mirror too big for comfort, all of his face there to be seen as he touched Alex’s skin. But. But the thought of James doing the same makes George’s fingers tighten on his glass. And he knows, logically, that it didn’t happen; that Williams has a medic, that Alex has a trainer, that there’s half a dozen people on the team who take care of Alex. Who have that in their job descriptions.

He just- Christ. He wants it to be him.

“I’m glad, mate,” he lies. Swallows. Makes himself hold Alex’s gaze when he responds with his ducked-head smile. But he nudges the conversation on so he doesn’t have to keep lying, swaps the wildest rumours he can with Alex’s - Charles to Red Bull, Lewis to Ferrari, Fernando collecting a seat on every team like he’s filling out a Pokedex. The caustic burn lingers in the back of his throat, despite four pints and a packet of crisps. Read the rest on AO3

#galex #f1 rpf #f1 rpf fic #featuring a george so jealous he can barely speak #and an alex who won't stop laughing #until...

[garlichoisan]

𝐂𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡 𝐑𝐮𝐬𝐡 [9]

[an ATEEZ social media au]

🍓 Characters/Pairing: San x reader, Wooyoung x reader + more in the future

🍩 Genre: fluff, angst, suggestive

🍰 AU info: social media au, university!au, named reader

💌 Word Count: 1695

⚠️ Warnings: ❌

A/N: the next chapter is gonna be a Halloween special and it’s gonna be uploaded on October 31! 🎃

also have a spoiler: a huge wave of angst is coming up in the next few chapters 👀 and it’s progressively getting worse

💟 if you wanna be added to the taglist, please just send an ask!

↫ previous | masterlist | next ↬

Mingi was playing videogames with his friends, smiling contentedly when he saw the text “Player 1 wins”. He tossed the controller on the sofa, then got up and started jumping happily.

“I won! I won, do you hear that?” the birthday boy was beyond excited that this was happening exactly today, on his special day.

“Yes, we can see,” Wooyoung sighed with annoyance. He hated losing and was always super competitive, just like the rest of his friends.

“It’s just your birthday, so we’re going easy on you. Don’t get too cocky,” Hongjoong scoffed jokingly.

Mingi continued humming and jumping around, letting everybody know he was in a good mood.

A few hours later it was already time for the guys the go out to a restaurant and after that, they would visit their favorite bar which Hongjoong has saved them a table at.

When they arrived at the restaurant they took their jackets off and each one of them took a seat on the nicely decorated table: there was a vase with flowers, some scented candles which were adding a sentimental feeling to the gathering, and the tablecloth with floral ornaments was perfectly positioned. Mingi was smiling the whole time and even though his friends acted as if his good mood was making them sick, they were secretly happy that their friend was having fun. Mingi ordered some pasta and, of course, wine, while talking to the other guys about anything he could think of. All of them listened to him attentively and shared their own opinions on the topics as well.

A few more hours have passed and it was time to go, so Mingi paid the bill, frowning for the first time today, because of the amount of money he had to pay, but overall he was still really happy and he had a great time. 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ* * *ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

 Half an hour later, they were already in the bar, sipping drinks and dancing, as if there was no tomorrow. Later they decided to split up and find their own ways to have fun, as only San and Mingi stuck together and ordered more drinks, while Wooyoung went flirting with some girls, and Hongjoong met an old friend from high school so he went to greet him.

“Can you please look after my phone, I’m coming back in a few minutes,” Mingi excused himself as San nodded.

Not long after that Mingi’s phone started ringing. San took a quick look at the caller’s ID, but his friend was nowhere to be seen, so he was left with the strong desire to pick up the phone and talk to his crush. He was tapping his fingers nervously against the table, wondering what to do; but then he remembered the phone wouldn’t be ringing forever so before he changed his mind, he grabbed the phone and went outside of the bar, answering the call. He felt chill run down his spine because of the cold weather outside, but that wasn’t the only reason; the adrenaline of his own actions was starting to catch up with him too. He felt that crush rush and he suddenly didn’t know what to do. He heard the voice coming from the other line and he silently panicked.

“Mingi?” Ara’s voice was soft and questioning since her friend picked up the phone but he still wasn’t saying anything.

San took a deep breath and he held his friend’s phone closer to his ear.

“Hello, Ara,” he said, his voice sounding a lot huskier than he intended.

“Sorry, who’s that?”

“I’m San, the guy you’ve been texting lately,” he explained, chuckling unintentionally.

He was incredibly nervous and his heart was beating so fast that for a second he thought it was going to burst and scatter in small pieces around the whole bar entrance.

“Oh, hi, San!” Ara exclaimed, sounding happy, which gave San a little hope that maybe she felt the same way about him.

“Mingi couldn’t pick up right now, but I wanted to say hi to you,” San tried to find an excuse for his decision to answer the call instead of his friend.

But the truth was that his desire to finally hear his crush’s voice made him do it. The whole time he kept thinking about how angelic her voice sounded; it was even better than he imagined it to be. Everything about Ara made him go weak in the knees and he found himself unable to hide the great excitement she brought to his heart.

“That’s cool. But I need to wish him a happy birthday so please tell him I called when you see him,” she reminded him and San nodded, but he remembered Ara couldn’t see him because they were talking on the phone.

“I will,” he assured her and started thinking about what he should say next.

He didn’t want to hang up yet; if it was possible, he would have wanted to stay on the line with her for the rest of his life, or at least for the rest of the night. But unfortunately he couldn’t avoid the awkward silence that found its place between them, separating them like a thick wall, even worse than the distance that kept them apart.

“Ah, I just remembered something,” Ara said, making San stop overthinking everything.

“What is it?” He asked curiously. He was thankful she broke the silence and he no longer had to think of a way to do so.

“I know there are more than 2 months left until then, but the last day of October there’s going to be a Halloween party in a LA nightclub and I wanted to invite Mingi, but since you answered the phone, I’m telling it to you.”

San’s heart dropped when he heard the invitation was for Mingi only, but he tried to play it cool.

“Great, I’ll let him know,” he forced a smile, trying to also hide the disappointment in his voice.

“Actually,” Ara seemed to be thinking about something, because she stayed silent for a couple of seconds, before finishing her sentence. “You could come too. With the rest of your friends, I mean,” she hoped the fact she was blushing wouldn’t be evident in her voice, but it was her nervous chuckle that exposed her.

San was truly happy to hear her sounding shy and couldn’t help but think it was because of him. But at the same time he felt stupid for even having thoughts like that.

“I’m in South Korea right now, though.”

He realized his words sounded as if he was making an excuse; he didn’t want her to misunderstand and think he didn’t actually want to visit her, especially since he was beyond delighted that her invitation now included him, so he was quick to add another sentence to correct himself.

“But I would really like to go there!” he said excitedly, but immediately after he cleared his voice awkwardly since he realized he sounded way too enthusiastic to meet her. He just couldn’t stop overthinking everything but at the same time he kept saying the first thing that was on his mind, making this phone conversation a mess. “For the party, I mean, you know… I like parties, yeah.”

Ara couldn’t help but laugh at his antics.

“I know, because they serve alcohol at parties which is just your thing, right?” Ara giggled, teasing San for his strange relationship with alcohol.

“You’re making me sound like some type of an alcoholic,” San’s voice trailed off since he was very unhappy with Ara’s opinion of him.

“Well, aren’t you?” Ara raised her eyebrows, even though he couldn’t see her, as she was laughing by herself.

“It’s not that bad, I promise.”

“I guess we’ll see how it is on Halloween. By the way, you’re lucky I’ve just checked the flights before calling. See, the prices are significantly lower than the regular ones since there’s still a lot of time until October,” Ara explained excitedly. “If you buy the tickets now, it’s not that expensive.”

“Wow, you’re very well informed. You must really want to meet me, huh?” San couldn’t help but feel the smirk appearing on his lips.

“I guess you exposed me,” Ara burst out laughing and San followed her example.

He was so thankful that he could just talk to her like that, hearing her voice and laughing with her. It’s what his heart has longed for ever since he first met her and now his dream was finally coming true.

“What about the hotel? Where would we be staying?”

Ara seemed to think for a little while, but soon answered this question too.

“I still haven’t checked that, but I’m sure my friend Seonghwa could come up with something.”

“Seonghwa? Is he a guy? Who is he?” Before he could stop himself, San was already acting jealous and he felt guilty as soon as the words left his mouth.

He suddenly remembered Mingi’s words that Ara didn’t really have a lot of guy friends. But he was wondering who Seonghwa was and what his relationship with Ara was. Even though he realized he wasn’t her boyfriend and didn’t have the right to feel like that, he was too curious (and maybe a little more than slightly jealous).

“He’s my professor.”

“You’re friends with your professor?” San asked with disbelief.

“Yeah, he’s young and super cool, you’re definitely gonna like him.”

“I somehow doubt that, but if you say so…” San bit his lip before he could ask another ridiculous question which would make him look even more like the possessive, overly-protective boyfriend he wasn’t and he didn’t ever want to be.

He genuinely believed love was all about freedom and trust. He has never been the controlling type, but Ara made him feel so many new emotions he hasn’t ever felt before that, so he was understandably overwhelmed and started to act less and less like himself, which resulted in him feeling frustrated. Apparently the crush rush wasn’t only a good thing; it was just as dangerous and potentially problematic as well and San had to find that out the difficult way.

╔═══════════ SUMMARY ═══════════╗

San was often told that he was everything a girl wanted to date: handsome, funny and smart. That was until they got to know him better. Then he was told he was too much, too overwhelming, had too many emotions and was too chaotic. Thus his experience with dating was not as good as one would have thought. The problem: he has the biggest crush on a girl he met whilst studying abroad. But every time he messages his crush, he seems to mess things up further and further. With the help of his hyperactive friends he tries to win Ara's heart but before that, he has to convince her he doesn't actually hate her.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

💟 taglist:

@violets-are-vladi @chocochannel @ateezcbk @turtledove824 @huachengsbestie01 @redflemmefoxy

#ateez #cromernet #ateez smau #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #ateez imagine #ateez scenario #ateez fluff #kpop fluff #kpop smau #kpop social media au #ateez social media au #ateez x reader #san x reader #wooyoung x reader #kpop #kpop scenario #kpop scenarios #kpop imagine #kpop imagines #san fluff #wooyoung fluff #ateez fanfic #kpop fanfic #san #wooyoung #hongjoong #seonghwa #mingi #series: crush rush

[copiouscouples]

Random Thoughts on the First 3 Episodes of Grease: Rise of the Pink Ladies

This is a FUN show.

So far I’ve liked all the music. I didn’t think I was going to like the song about the country club but darn it if I wasn’t like this is a catchy song about how terrible you all are. 🤣

I’m loving the increase in diversity that’s going on in general in tv world (although I’d love to see more characters with disabilities in media, but we’re getting more than we used to with shows like Speechless and As We See It).

That said...I think there’s two ways to handle diversity successfully in historical fiction. 1) Go the Bridgerton route - mention it, but don’t make it a major theme. 2) Make it a major theme and handle it satisfactorily - either in a realistic way or in a way that gets resolved suitably.

In these first episodes, a major theme has been Jane and her family acclimating to Rydell and community. Her mom specifically has worries about it being found out that she’s Puerto Rican. I feel like this is very period typical and an accurate representation as frustrating as it is to watch someone who doesn’t feel free to accept and rejoice in their cultural heritage. I love that Jane wants to fight back against all that, but in the last episode - I was kind of disappointed how the whole thing got resolved. She sings a song in the diner and bada bing, bada boom her mom's suddenly OK with it all. Felt a bit quick and sloppy of a fix. But this show is about Jane and not her mom’s trauma. Overall, it’s not a big deal for me. I just was slightly irked by the sloppiness of the resolution.

Olivia - The most intriguing of the Pink Ladies so far for me. We’ve got a sliver of her backstory with the teacher, but outside of that we don’t know much about her yet. Plus I want to know was she in a full on relationship with this guy or did they kiss that once and got caught?

Nancy - Another character we need more info on. I like her general don’t give an F attitude, but I’d love to see more of her deeper thoughts and emotions. We’ve got a hint at that with how much she deeply cares about college and getting into fashion, but I’d like more.

Jane - This actress is my favorite singer on the show. Her “I Want More” song is my favorite song thus far. I know she’s the main character and that’s why we know more about her. But honestly she’s not all that interesting and I wish some of her screen time was given to the other girls.

Cynthia - She had a good storyline this episode. I felt it was a bit rushed, but I think drama is a great fit for this character and Principal McGee knew exactly what she was doing.

Hazel - She was introduced this episode and we got to know a little bit about her. I do feel for her and how homesick she is. I have and always will be here for the wallflower/shy girl trope.

Richie - Things are still kind of surface level with him, but right now he’s kind of a meh character for me. I like him well enough but the show’s writing hasn’t really developed him enough for me to care about him yet.

Buddy - Likely unpopular opinion here...I don’t hate him? At least not yet. I think he’s treated Jane terribly, but I see redemptive qualities in him. The fact he feels guilt, has some sense of self-reflection, and is uncomfortable with his choices shows me we could be in for a good character arc with him.

So that end scene, right? Totally seems to be foreshadowing a Hazel/Buddy romance. How would I feel if they went down that route? It depends on the chemistry of the couple. In fictional TV land, I can excuse a lot of misbehavior (even murder) if the couple is 🔥. Rio and Beth, anyone? That was a toxic dump of a relationship but watch me with my 👀 glued every week.

This show is very much love it or hate it. I think the people that are hating on it were hoping it would be an extension of the original Grease and while it gives nods to the original content - it’s its own entity.

#grease rise of the pink ladies #grease: rise of the pink ladies #rise of the pink ladies #grease #paramount plus

[canonicallyobserving911]

9-1-1 Season 6 - Constructive Criticisms #1

Lack of and/or inconsistencies with interviews, promos, stills, trailers, etc.

IMO Season 6 ended like a wet firecracker with no sparks or anything exciting enough to make me want to return for season 7.  While the bridge collapse included in 6x18 “Pay it Forward” had potential, it fell completely flat because it felt rushed and the injuries the team received from it were glossed over once they made it to the hospital. There wasn’t any emotional depth and it seemed like another filler episode.  Also, since it was the “supposed” culmination of an entire season/series, it made everything seem more abysmal.  The first half of the season ended abysmally too on November 28, 2022 and over the hiatus, I hoped 6B would be better.  In February 2023, the promo was released for 6x10 “In a Flash” and I became excited again about the show since it seemed like 9-1-1 was back on track but much to my dismay, that wasn’t the case.

To say I was disappointed after watching 6x18 is a gross understatement because the narrative the show followed for THE ENTIRE SEASON was discarded and I stopped watching before the episode ended. It felt like the show I’d grown to appreciate as an actual form of entertainment in the current ‘wastelands’ of network TV had turned into something that was unrecognizable because characters’ storylines were completely obliterated, CANON facts from previous seasons were erased/rewritten and it seemed like the majority of season 2 never existed.  I was so frustrated with the ending that I needed to reassess and regroup in order to figure out if I wanted to continue CANONICALLY blogging about 9-1-1.

I mentioned in a previous post (linked here) that I wanted to provide constructive criticisms from an objective perspective for the season overall and in order to do that, I needed time to reassess. Instead of posting one long 100,000-word post (yes, it’s that many words or more), which would have included everything I felt from season 6 that should have been yeeted to the sun, I decided to make separate posts about them.

My first set of “constructive criticisms” regarding the way promos were handled are included below the cut. Please note criticizing a TV show is NOT a bad thing especially since TV critics have been doing it for decades. Constructive criticisms are designed to help make something better and they are VERY different from negativity.  A person can offer criticisms about a form of entertainment they spend their time watching and not be negative about it the same way two people can agree to disagree on a topic. Just because one person liked the season, they shouldn’t expect for others to feel the way they do because everyone has their own opinions.  Simply put, two people can have different opinions about 9-1-1 and those opinions can COEXIST since they are not mutually exclusive.

If reading criticisms about 9-1-1 upsets you, then don’t read below the cut.

                      Warning! ⚠️“Constructive Criticisms” Ahead!⚠️

TV promotions for season 6 were all over the place and they were very inconsistent.  They’re supposed to generate GA interest in the episode to increase the number of viewers who will watch (hopefully live) and so they’ll know what to expect but the lack of/and or the inconsistencies in promoting them made that almost impossible. Video promos, teasers, trailers, interviews, synopses, social media, stills and everything else were delayed or nonexistent which made it difficult to follow the direction the show was attempting to take. The end result for some episodes made it seem like they were still editing up until the last minute which is ridiculous especially for a veteran TV show like 9-1-1 that was in its sixth season.  There’s no excuse for promotions to have been as minimal as they were and it’s also unfathomable for them to have not been presented to the network in a timely manner.

Promos, Teasers and Trailers Season 6 video promos, teasers and trailers were lacking and it was unnecessary since that wasn’t the case for previous seasons.  Promos for the entire season were off and it all started before 6x1 “Let the Games Begin” even aired.  The season opener promo wasn’t released until a few days before the episode aired when in the past, those promos were released at least one month prior the same way it was done for 6B.  Also, the 6x1 promo was attached to another FOX show that wasn’t even in the same franchise (The Cleaning Lady) and the 9-1-1 portion of it included scenes from 6x4 (Buck on the bicycle) which wasn’t set to air for another four weeks.  The “Blackout” trailer for Season 5 was released at least one month prior to when 5x1 “Panic” was set to air and it played continuously on FOX (at least it did in my region) until the premiere.  Therefore, the lack of trailers for the entirety of the season made absolutely no sense.

It appears there may have been more last minute reshoots, episode name changes and other reasons for the delays that caused edits to be processed down to the wire.  So, the lack of trailers, teasers and episode promos shouldn’t have been a surprise after season 5 but it was because it costs between 9 million - 10 million to produce a single episode.  Since it seems like 9-1-1 wasn’t bothered enough to promote their own show, they shouldn’t have been surprised when the GA didn’t tune in.  Several social media comments about the start of season 6 included viewers stating they missed the premiere because they didn’t know the show had returned.

Promos for upcoming episodes that should have aired at the end of 6x16 and 6x17 weren’t included and the promo for 6x18 wasn’t even released until the Saturday before the episode aired.  It was only 10 seconds in duration and it included at least 4 seconds of LD (a former recurring character from season 5 who hadn’t been seen since 6x1) even though each member of the firefam got less than 0.5 milliseconds of airtime in it.  Six sneak peek scenes were released for 6x18 but it probably would have been much better if they didn’t release a promo at all, especially since it wasn’t long enough to understand what was going to happen.

Unpopular opinion - IMO, FOX took the blame for the lack of promos during the latter part of 6B when the blame should have been placed solely on 9-1-1.  Since the show is responsible for getting promos and trailers to the network, wasn’t it 9-1-1′s responsibility to provide FOX with stills, teasers, trailers, etc.?  If that’s the case, then FOX couldn’t adequately promote 9-1-1 because it seems like 9-1-1 didn’t give them anything to promote.  This wasn’t an issue for 9-1-1 LS because they started promoting their 4th season in October 2022 even though the first episode wasn’t set to air until January 2023.  Reminder, 9-1-1 OG was on FOX for 6 years and in the past, FOX had no problems promoting the season 3 Tsunami, the season 5 Blackout and others so it’s kind of unfair for them to take the blame for the lack of promos when the show dropped the whole trailer/teaser/promo ball all on its own.

Incorrect synopses There was an abundance of incorrect synopses included in season 6 and if the goal was to hide/deflect/deter the audience from potential spoilers then maybe it would have been a good idea to make sure the final edit of the episode was done before any synopses were released.  It seems like the lack of planning caused a lot of these errors especially when reshoots for certain scenes had to be completed (the scene of Marisol crying while standing over her brother in the ambulance in 6x5 was actually a reshoot.  Imagine that👀👀... they reshot the scene and it still looked like she was in love with her brother.  Therefore, that was a WASTE OF MONEY/BUDGETING DOLLARS).  The synopsis for 6x1 stated Maddie and Chimney would go to couples’ therapy but either it didn’t happen or it was cut from the episode.  The 6x5 “Home Invasion” synopsis stated Hen would talk to her professor when she did that in 6x4 “Animal Instincts”.  Guests and recurring characters listed for 6x17 and 6x18 was an inconsistent mess and it’s unclear if they did it that way to hide the fact that AK and MW were returning in 6x17.  But viewers who saw the BTS pics that were released in March, already knew AK would be in the finale and it was speculated that MW would be too after she was spotted at FOX studios.  Does anyone proofread these things because the synopses that included Buck and ND kept changing like they were trying to decide how to handle their nonexistent relationship only to shove Buck into one with her at the end of 6x18. SMH!

Stills Stills are a huge part of promos because they can be used on an array of social media platforms when compared to videos and GIFs; therefore the lack of them for the majority of season 6 was unacceptable.  A lot of the stills that were released came from the main cast (thanks to OS and AH) and the ones from the show were always released when it was close to the episode’s air date instead of at least one week in advance.

Social Media By the end of 6A, the official Tumblr 9-1-1 account hadn’t posted anything about OG since the BT breakup at the end of season 5, so I unfollowed it.  People who use Twitter and Instagram probably got more interactions from the dedicated FOX accounts than other platforms but hopefully when the show is on ABC, things will be better and the Tumblr 911 on ABC will get the attention it deserves.

Sneak Peeks 9-1-1 should STOP releasing five and six scenes from an episode the weekend before or on the day the episode airs because it’s a lazy way to promote it and they ruin the viewing experience.  The duration of each episode is between 42 to 45 minutes so if 5 scenes that are each one-minute long are released, the audience has the chance to see at least 11% to 12% of the episode before it airs. That spoils a lot of the excitement and it’s been happening since season 5.  Sneak Peeks should NOT be used to replace promo videos and teaser trailers.

Pre and post-mortem interviews Interviews have become an antiquated way of promoting TV shows because most of the GA DOESN’T READ THEM.  Also, some people don’t even know they exist but the main problem with 9-1-1′s post-mortems is information that should have been included in CANON WAS NOT but it was mentioned in interviews like the audience should have been able to anticipate what the showrunner wanted them to know (i.e., Chim and Buck making up off screen in season 5 and Chris being told about Eddie’s will)!  The showrunner(s) released all kinds of important information in them but if they didn’t read the post-mortem, viewers didn’t have any ideas about the things that supposedly happened.  For example, KR mentioned, right before the midseason hiatus, that Ravi was away at the academy but the GA had been asking about the character since the beginning of season 6.  Therefore, if the majority of the GA doesn’t read interviews, how were they supposed to know that?  Also, she always mentioned things happened off-screen during her interviews when clearly those things were important enough that they should have happened on-screen.  Since most viewers don’t read post-mortems, they had to do mental gymnastics during and after episodes to figure out what happened to the characters.

Another issue with 9-1-1′s post-mortems is lately there’s only been one main cast member doing the majority of them and that’s just not fair.  Viewers have their favorite characters and contrary to popular belief, BUCK IS NOT EVERYONE’S FAVORITE.  My favorite character is Eddie Diaz, so I would like to read some interviews with RG instead of OS.  If RG was allowed to do some interviews then maybe I’d read the articles instead of just scrolling to the comment sections.

Please note, I do not have a problem with OS because he’s a gifted actor and he knows and plays the character of Evan ‘Buck’ Buckley very well but he’s done like 90% of the post-mortem interviews for season 6 while the rest of the main cast has barely done one or NONE (RG) over the past two seasons.  It’s an ensemble cast so it would be fair if EVERYONE is given the chance to do at least one interview.  If they don’t want them to do one then maybe the showrunner(s) should do all the interviews instead of them spotlighting only one cast member. 

To make things fair, every main cast member (there are 9 of them) should be allowed to do a minimum of two post-mortem interviews per season or if that’s not an option, none of the main cast should do them.  That way audience members would have the opportunity to read interviews from some of their favorites too.  The comments on other social media platforms and post-mortem interviews for season 6 proves that viewers would much rather read interviews from someone other than OS in season 7. 

The viewers who like AB want to read interviews conducted with her while others would like to hear from AH, PK or KC.  IIRC, JLH hasn’t done an interview since season 5 after 5x12 “Boston” also both GM and CM haven’t done one since last season either.  AH did an interview after 6x6 and PK completed one before 6x7 but the information he mentioned was either incorrect or the character’s job was changed from her being a ‘famous singer’ to a ‘movie star’.  KC did one a few weeks ago after the proposal arc and it appears to have been a HUGE success since he was finally allowed to do an interview.  When is RG going to be let out of interview jail?  He did interviews in previous seasons, so what’s the problem with allowing him to do interviews?

Hopefully the transition to ABC will be better but if they have to wait for promotional materials the same way FOX did, it’s unlikely things will be any better than they were during season 6.  9-1-1 needs to work on their time management and organizational skills during the hiatus to be better for season 7 so they’ll be able to release promos, stills, etc. on time.

These are my criticisms regarding promos, trailers, stills, interviews, etc. and “Constructive Criticisms” #2 will be posted soon.

#911 fox #911 on fox #911onfox #911 abc #911 on abc #911 meta #911 season 6 speculation #911 season 7 #911 season 6 #911 s6 #911 #118 firefam #Canonically Observing 9-1-1 speaks #9-1-1 Season 6 - CANON Constructive Criticisms

[welostutopia]

so here’s the thing. rebooting the original 1980s teen wolf film as a series worked because they weren’t trying to be the the 1980s film. the film was a silly comedy, the series was darker (both thematically and aesthetically and seriously the lighting needed serious work but i digress) and the only real connections was a teen called scott turning into a werewolf and his friend stiles, everything else about the show established it as an thing in its own right, unconnected to the film.

this teen wolf the movie as a follow up to the series didn’t work and that’s for a number of reasons.

1. it relies way to heavily on nostalgia, the amount of throw backs and hints to the series would have worked, been endearing even, if we weren’t in the age of streaming when people could go back and rewatch the series whenever the want, and if there had been a longer gap between the series and the film. season 6 ended in 2017, my first year of university, it is now 2023, i graduated in 2020. september 2017-january 2023 isn’t even 6 years, the show is still fresh for so many people, and so many people are still discovering the series that it makes the nostalgia grabs feel cheap

2. the nogitsune is an iconic teen wolf villain, season 3 is many peoples favourite season for a reason, and while a large part of that is because of dylan and his impeccable acting as void stiles, another huge part of that is the nogitsune itself, this film does not do the nogitsune justice in the slightest. it’s another nostalgia grab, the writers basically went ‘remember your favourite season and favourite villain? well we bought the villain back’ and it sucks. flip side of that, the heavy reliability on nostalgia requires fans to remember every single detail of the series to piece things together, i spent part of the film confused until i remembered something from the series and then everything made sense.

3. none of the characters seemed to mature, every single character was making mistakes they made as teenagers, and should have learnt from, while they are now in their 30s, it felt like character development wasn’t even something the writers considered and i was so annoyed

4. fan favourites were missing. sure we’ve known for a while that dylan, arden, daniel and cody weren’t returning, but stiles is the reason that so many people got into teen wolf, isaac was a fan favourite and his exit from the show, and everyone seemingly forgetting about him, was something that the fandom never excepted. kira had the fandom divided on opinions, but that was down to the writers, kira deserved a better ending, and arden deserved better than how she was treated (100% support her decision not to come back). theo again had people divided, but by the end a lot of people had warmed to him, i think having him back would have helped at least a little bit, his snark and overall attitude contrasted perfectly with the righteousness of so many of the characters

5. the writing sucked, i’m sorry but so many of the lines felt like they were written by middle ages writers for a gen z teen show and y’all know exactly what i mean by that. teen show dialogue is so uncomfortable for people in their teens and just out of their teens to hear because it’s so unrepresentative and this had the same feel. the plot also felt simultaneously rushed and also drawn out, which is a talent in its own right, but not a good one.

6. eli. listen, eli as a character is fine but his existence creates a multitude of plot holes. he’s been alive the same amount of time that allison has been dead, who is his mother? who was derek romantically involved with in season 2/3, they discuss eli as a young child, toddler age really, but it was never seen in the show, when exactly did derek find out about his son, when did this happen?

7. stydia. 6 seasons it took for them to develop stydia. 6b was weird enough with lydia being more excited over seeing jackson than her own boyfriend and then the film we find out they broke up over a potential premonition. i get that dylan not coming back probably changed things, but to have a 6 season long slow burn to end like that, it’s disappointing and honestly lazy writing.

8. bringing characters back from the dead, at this point it’s boring. teen wolf had already done that in the series, if you’re a fan of supernatural you saw it happen basically every season. bringing dead characters back to life no longer has the affect it once had on audiences

9. derek’s death. listen, the idea of derek dying isn’t a bad plot device, and at this point not enough main or key characters have died when you think about how high stakes the plot was, however the way it was done annoyed me. having him die the same way his family did, and having is son watch it happen, it was unnecessary trauma porn.

10. off the back of point 9, the allusion to sterek with the jeep analogy. i’m a sterek shipper, always been a fan of that pairing (also a stydia shipper so frankly either way the plot went i would have been happy but no one ends happily here so fuck your jeff) it’s become a thing with long running shows that have a popular queer ship among fans to allude to a one sided love in the finale/film special and then kill the character with the one sided love. this sucks on multiple levels. it’s the worst kind of fan service, if you’re going to give me queer characters then give them to me openly, i don’t want allusions or subtext, it also plays off as writers and producers realising they weren’t inclusive enough and trying to remedy it in the worst possible way.

11. allison. listen, we love allison, she’s great. she didn’t need to be resurrected but we move on. my biggest issue is, she died when she was 17, she was then resurrected 15 years later, surely that suggests that she is still 17 while everyone around her has aged by 15 years, to then bring back scallison made me slightly uncomfortable (might just be me though)

12. harris. not only do they bring someone back from the dead. but it’s a basically forgettable character, he was only around for a few episodes and it’s frustrating that there’s zero explanation as to how he’s alive, nor is there any reason for his knowledge of the nogitsune, let alone his desire to release him despite some flimsy revenge plot

13. hikari. i get that with bringing back the nogitsune they felt that they needed a kitsune and with arden (rightfully) not coming back they needed a new kitsune, but they ruined her character basically immediately. there wasn’t time in a film to introduce or get to know her, she was a plot device necessary only for the fact they were bringing the nogitsune back, and keeping scott alive.

14. continuity? season 6 ended with the pack basically running for their lives as the existence of supernatural creatures became widely known and helping other supernatural creatures find safety. the film didn’t address that, the film made out that the existence of supernatural creatures was once again not widely known. what happened in that time? the continuity issues led to so many plot holes it’ll take multiple rewatches for me to find them all and i am not putting myself through that again.

basically this film was unnecessary, it was a badly executed cash grab banking on nostalgia to bring people back. i’m a firm believer that when it’s time you should let things go, teen wolf should have ended with 6a, 6b was the worst instalment in the series and then less than 6 years later they followed with an even worse film. it honestly felt like fanfiction and not in a good way, but what’s worse is it worked, teen wolf fans (including myself) tuned in, sure mine was from morbid curiosity but i am now still a viewer, sure reviews are bad and fans are annoyed, but they’re getting views and in the entertainment industry that’s all that matters.

anyway, can streaming services and hollywood stop remaking/rebooting/making follow ups and sequels stop. so few are done well, and frankly it’s unnecessary.

#teen wolf #teen wolf the movie #teen wolf the movie spoilers #god this film sucked #when it comes to entertainment nostalgia is the enemy

[lett-them-eatt-cake]

So I watched Priscilla (2023) and have some thoughts…

This post is gonna be a mess, so just be warned. I have a lot of thoughts and opinions about this movie and could write an entire essay about it, but for now I just wanted to jot down some of my initial opinions. So here we go:

This movie was not as horrible as I thought it was going to be, but I still feel quite disappointed in it. I feel like this movie relies too heavily upon aesthetics, rather than the complexities of the story itself. The story itself feels rather flat. Priscilla and Elvis were/are both very complex people and I feel that by not showing their complexities, this does a disservice to both of them. There are so many things that actually happened that was left out of the film that I feel creates a false impression about both Elvis and Priscilla. Sofia Coppola said that this movie is not for Elvis fans, and while it does not have to be because this is Priscilla’s story, I feel like it does not fully depict the true story and gives people who know nothing about Priscilla or Elvis the wrong impression about them both. Neither one of them was a saint, nor were they monsters, but it feels like this movie is not actually interested in diving into Priscilla’s complexities, but rather depicts her as a rather flat character who is there to portray an “young, innocent angel” archetype.

Jacob Elordi’s portrayal of Elvis wasn’t as bad as I thought it might be but I did feel like Elvis, just like Priscilla, was depicted as a rather flat character. In this film he feels a little too cold and distant. Which feels very contradictory to the Elvis I have seen in footage and how people describe him. Like their whole wedding scene was so strange because they both look unhappy, are not smiling, and are standing apart, but if you watch Priscilla and Elvis’ actual wedding footage they both look incredibly happy, are smiling and holding on to each other. The Elvis in this movie feels less personable and more distant. It also didn’t sit right with me that they made Elvis seem to be cold and distant from Lisa Marie. Elvis loved Lisa with all his heart and was always right there helping to take care of and protect his little girl, but the movie makes it seem like he just tolerated her. Idk I thought that was kinda weird 🤷🏻‍♀️ 3. The ending of this movie also just felt entirely too rushed. I feel like they left too much of the story out and ended up just leaving us with more questions than answers. It left a lot to be desired, that’s for sure. I also wished they would have at least showed some of Priscilla’s life after she left Elvis, since the whole point was that she wanted to have her own life, so why didn’t they at least show that? 4. Also the fact that they ended the movie with Dolly Parton’s “I will always love you” was quite the choice considering that was the song Elvis never got to cover like he wanted to 😭.

Anyway, there is so much more I could say about this movie but it’s too long and I am typing this on my phone. Overall, I just encourage everyone out there to go do your own research on both Elvis and Priscilla if you want a more accurate, in depth history of their relationship. Don’t just rely on this movie and use it to form your opinions about either Elvis or Priscilla. I beg you to do your own research. Thanks for reading!

#elvis presley #elvis movies #priscilla presley #elvis and me #elvis books #priscilla movie #sofia coppola

[trashywritestrash]

Babysitter

Pairing: Steve Harrington x single mom! reader

Word Count: ~2.6k

Warnings: no season 4 spoilers, reader has a named child, child’s father is not around, child cries/kicks/throws a tantrum, some light cursing, Lucas may be a little OOC but I tried my best.

A/N: i literally did this now in one sitting and it has not been edited at all and is not going to be. i just started and didn’t stop, so enjoy the experience i guess lol

also my birthday is on sep 17th and i’m gonna turn 21 so i kinda wanna do a big celebration with y’all but idk if y’all would want that or what we would do?? opinions pls

also this gif just seems to fit the vibe of this fic lol

You hadn’t had to hire a new babysitter in years. Unfortunately, your long-term trusted babysitter had just left for college out-of-state. So now you have no other option but to try to find someone else. And, somehow, you ended up hiring Lucas Sinclair.

Lucas was not someone you knew well, but he seemed like a responsible kid. And your daughter Emmie was (according to your last babysitter) an easy child to take care of. She was polite and clean, and overall very cheerful. You knew Lucas didn’t have any experience babysitting, but Emmie would be a good learning experience for him. Still, you left him the number of the bar and he promised to call if he needed anything.

So you went out with your friends in a dress that was only a little too tight, more makeup than you usually apply, and heels that you’d regret later. You had to go all out because your friends would tease you otherwise. You had given birth to Emmie fresh out of high school, so you had to ditch them a lot in order to take care of her. They understood of course, but they made it clear that they wanted you to enjoy your twenties— no matter how many times you’ve told them “I am enjoying my twenties! I love my daughter, and she makes them fun”. They insisted that it wasn’t the same.

You gave Emmie one last kiss as you said goodbye, leaving her in Lucas’ capable hands.

Or so you thought.

Unbeknownst to you, as soon as your friends had picked you up, Emmie had completely changed. She was mean to Lucas in the way a three (almost four) year old can be. She refused to eat, wouldn’t take her nap, threw her toys around the living room. Worst of all, she told Lucas that she didn’t want to be his friend. All of this happened within 15 minutes of you being gone.

Lucas couldn’t call you. You probably hadn’t even made it to the bar yet, and he didn’t want to ruin your entire night before you could have any fun. So he called the first person he could think of.

“No way in Hell, man! You’re on your own!” Lucas heard Dustin’s laugh as he spoke.

He groaned, “Please, Dustin! I don’t know what to do, she doesn’t listen at all!”

“How am I supposed to help? I don’t know shit about kids! Call someone else.”

“Like who?” Lucas asks, threw his hands up even though Dustin couldn’t see him. “I tried Mike already, but he’s busy.”

“He’s not busy, he just doesn’t want to. Call Steve, he’ll know what to do.”

Lucas heard a thump from the living room and his heart almost stopped beating. “Shit— I’ve gotta go! I’ll call him!” He hung up the phone and ran to the other room. Emmie was standing on top of the coffee table, looking down at her cup of juice that she had just knocked onto the carpet.

“Juice!” She cried.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, I’ll get you more juice! Just get off the table.”

Emmie clenched her fists, “No!” She stomped on the table, causing the vase on it to shake. Lucas’ eyes widened and he rushed forward. He picked Emmie up off of the table as she kicked and screamed, trying to beat him off of her. “No! I want down!”

“I’m sorry, but you can’t be up there! You’ll get hurt.” He brought her into the kitchen and sat her on the floor. Emmie started to kick his leg out of anger. Lucas ran to the fridge for more juice, but found that there was no more left. “Shit.”

Emmie froze when she heard Lucas swear. He turned around, startled by her sudden stop. Her eyes watered as she stared at him before she burst into tears, sobbing uncontrollably. “I want Mama!” She plopped down to sit on the tile floor and kicked Lucas’ legs whenever he tried to get closer. He grabbed the phone off of the wall, forced to deal with the kicking as he called Steve.

The second Steve answered, he couldn’t get a word out as Lucas cut him off. “Steve! I need your help, it’s an emergency!” He gave his older friend your address and Steve promised he’d be there as fast as he could. Before he hung up, Lucas added “And bring juice!”

—————

Ten minutes later, Steve knocked on the door. Lucas ran to the front door, immediately opened it, and pulled Steve inside.

“What’s going on?” Steve asked as Lucas dragged him to the kitchen by his wrist. Emmie was still on the floor, still crying.

“She’s been crying and fighting me this whole time, I don’t know what to do— Did you bring the juice?” Lucas grabbed the jug out of Steve’s hand and smiled at Emmie. “Look, Emmie! Steve brought you more juice.”

“Don’ want juice! I want Mama!”

“Your mom will be back later. But right now you’ve gotta eat something.” Lucas tried to get closer again, but Emmie kept kicking.

“No!”

Steve stood there with wide eyes, taking in the scene in front of him. “Don’t just stand there, man, do something!” Lucas shouted at him.

“I don’t know what to do either! I’m not a baby whisperer!”

“I’m not a baby!” Emmie insisted, still kicking and crying.

“Then stop acting like one!” Lucas snapped. Emmie started crying even harder.

Steve rolled his eyes at the younger boy, “Nice job, doofus. What did you think was gonna happen?”

“Just help me!”

For a moment, Steve just stood there thinking. Then he crouched on the floor so he could be level with Emmie.

“You’re Emmie, right? I’m Steve. I’m Lucas’ friend.”

“Nobodies his friend ‘cuz he’s mean!”

“Well, I’m his friend. He’s nice after a while, I promise.”

Emmie seemed to calm a bit, but only a bit. “Pinky promise?”

Steve nodded and held out his pinky to the little girl. “Pinky promise.”

She held out her pinky and locked it with Steve’s before she quickly pulled it back. Emmie had stopped kicking, but still cried. “I miss my Mama.”

“I know you do, but what would she say if she saw you acting like this? Would she be happy?”

That made Emmie frown. “No. Mama would be mad.”

“She probably would be. And we don’t want Mama to be mad, so you have to eat and listen to Lucas. Okay?”

“But he’s mean! He said a bad word!”

Steve frowned at Lucas. “Did you seriously curse at a child?”

“No! It just… Slipped out when I saw she was out of juice.”

“He has to say sorry!” Emmie crossed her arms and pouted, but her tears slowed.

Lucas frowned, feeling ashamed. “I’m sorry, Emmie. I shouldn’t have said that word.” Emmie huffed in response.

Steve turned back to her. “Now you have to apologize to Lucas.” She goes to argue, but Steve cut her off. “You’ve been kicking and screaming at him all night. And you said some pretty mean stuff to him too.”

She looked down at the floor and grumbled out. “Sorry.”

“Say it like you mean it,” Steve ordered.

“Sorry, Lucas.” Emmie looked up at Lucas as she apologized. She sounded a lot more genuine the second time. He gave her a small smile and a nod.

“Now,” Steve started, “What do you want to eat?”

Emmie was quiet for a moment before she decided she wanted mac and cheese. Lucas nodded. “I can make that for you. Do you want to stay with Steve while I cook?” The girl nodded at that. She had completely stopped crying already, but her face was still red and wet from tears.

“Come on, Emmie. Let’s go get you some tissues.” Steve stood up from the floor and waited while Emmie twisted around and struggled to get up. She stopped wiggling and looked up to Steve, not saying anything as she held her arms out. “You want me to pick you up?” She nodded, so Steve carefully lifted her off the floor, being as gentle as he could be with her. He carried her to the living room and sat her on the couch. Steve grabbed the box of tissues from a side table and handed Emmie one.

“Here you go. Can you wipe your eyes?” Emmie nodded and wiped her tears with the tissue and then her nose. “What do you want to do until dinner is ready?”

“Munch Bunch.”

Steve quirked a brow, “Munch Bunch? What’s that?” Emmie got down from the couch and walked over to the television set. She grabbed a VHS tape off of the shelf and handed it to Steve.

“Munch Bunch.”

He nodded and put the tape in the player, then started it and sat on the couch. Emmie got back on the couch and sat next to Steve. She looked up at him. “How old are you?”

“I’m twenty. How old are you?”

Emmie held up three fingers, “Three.”

“I see.” Steve exaggerated his reaction, sounding more impressed than he was.

“My mama’s twenty. You’re the same.” Emmie smiled, proud of herself for making that connection.

Steve brushed it off, assuming she got her mother’s age wrong. “How old is your dad?”

Emmie shrugged, “I don’ know. I don’ have a dad.” Steve froze, not knowing what to say.

“I’m sorry, Emmie.”

“It’s okay. My mama is the best, so I don’ need a dad!” Steve had the fleeting thought that Emmie wasn’t going to feel that way in a couple years, but he didn’t say it out loud. He didn’t have to say anything because Emmie’s full attention was focused on the television. A couple minutes later, Lucas brought dinner out to them and they ate on the couch.

—————

When you got home after your outing, it was almost eleven o’ clock at night. You entered the house and saw Lucas with someone else, picking up toys in the living room.

“Hi, Ms Y/L/N!” Lucas smiled, stopping his work.

You looked between Lucas and the other man carefully. “Hi, Lucas… Who’s this?”

“This is Steve. He’s my friend. I called him ‘cuz he has experience babysitting.”

Steve didn’t say anything. He didn’t know what to say. Emmie hadn’t been wrong when she said you were about his age, but she didn’t say anything about you being pretty. His brain started working at half capacity as soon as he saw you. “I’m Steve.”

“Hi, Steve,” You tried to stop your voice from wavering, but you were sure that your unease was clear. “Where’s Emmie?”

Lucas was the one who responded again, “Asleep in her room. She kind of had a fit earlier and it tired her out.”

You nodded, “Okay. Wait right here, okay? I’ll be right back.” You went down the hallway to Emmie’s room and walked in. You found her sound asleep in her bed, dressed in her day clothes instead of pajamas. She looked safe and content, which eased your nerves a little. When you went back to the living room, Steve and Lucas were right where you left them.

“Steve, could you stay here for a minute so I can talk to Lucas in the kitchen?”

“Oh— um, yeah, of course.”

Lucas followed you into the kitchen and you turned to him once you were out of earshot. “I’m not upset or anything, but I wanted to let you know that if you ever babysit for another family, you should ask the parents before you invite anyone over. I know Steve is your trusted friend, but I don’t know him at all, so I was thrown off when I came home and saw him in my house.” You spoke gently, doing your best to convey that you weren’t angry.

Lucas’ eyes widened a little, “I’m sorry, I didn’t even think about that. I was just in over my head and didn’t know what to do… Emmie was out of juice, so I asked Steve to pick some up and then he helped calm her down. I’m so sorry…”

“It’s okay, really. Emmie’s okay, that’s all that matters to me.” You gave him a smile and he instantly relaxed. “What did she do during her tantrum? And do you know why it happened?”

“She threw her toys, screamed and cried a lot. She also started kicking me whenever I was close enough. But I think she just missed you.” You could physically feel your heart break at those words. “It started as soon as you left, it was just a complete switch.”

You frown, “Jessica was her babysitter for basically her whole life… Maybe having new people here with her scared her. Stranger danger and all that. Still, I’m sorry she acted that way. That’s not how she is usually.”

“It’s okay. Once she calmed down, she was really good the rest of the night.”

“Thank you, Lucas.” You smiled and reached into your purse, finding the envelope that you had already put together as Lucas’ payment. “Here you go. Is your mom still coming to pick you up?”

Right as you said it, you heard a car in your driveway. “That must be her now.” Lucas followed you to the front door, which you opened to be greeted by Lucas’ mom. “Thanks again, Lucas. If you ever want to babysit again, you have my number.” He said his goodbyes and was out of your driveway in only a few minutes. That left you with Steve.

“Hey, sorry about all that… Um, let me grab my purse really quick and I’ll pay you Lucas’ rate.”

Steve is quick to shake his head. “No, you don’t have to do that. It’s all good.”

“At least let me pay you back for the juice. Unless you want to take the bottle back home with you?”

He chuckled, “Nah, I’m alright, thanks. But you don’t need to pay me back for it. It’s just one jug of juice.”

“I feel bad,” You frown. “You came all this way and helped take care of Emmie all night. I don’t want to just not pay you.”

Steve gave you a charming smile, but you could tell he was still a little nervous. “Instead of paying me, you should let me take you on a date. It’ll give Lucas some more experience without me to fall back on.” As soon as he finished saying it he grimaced at his own words. “I’m sorry if that was weird. I’m usually a lot more smooth than this, so I totally get it if you’re weirded out right now and think I’m crazy or something.”

It was your turn to laugh. “It’s okay, Steve. It was weird, but in a cute way.” You saw him blush a little and that encouraged you to keep going. “I’d like to go on that date.”

Steve smiled wide, chuckling a little in relief. “Good. Cool. Great. I’ll, um, I’ll write my number down so you can call me?” You nodded and grabbed two pieces of paper and pens so that you could both exchange numbers.

And just like that, you had a cute guy’s phone number. Plus, he was good with your daughter, which was a big green flag for you. You parted ways, promising to call each other soon to set up your date. As you watched his car pull out of your driveway you started to think. Maybe Steve could be more than a babysitter.

—————

If you enjoyed this or would like to read more of my work, please consider liking, reblogging, or tipping my Ko-fi!

#steve harrington x reader #nel writes #steve harrington #steve harrington x single mom reader #single mom reader #single mom!reader #stranger things #stranger things x reader #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fic #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington fic #steve harrington fanfiction #stranger things fanfic #stranger things s4 #stranger things s3 #stranger things season 4 #stranger things season 3 #x mom!reader #steve harrington x mom!reader #mom!reader

[bunnidid-reviews]

I treated myself to a couple of fictional DID books for my collection \o/ I’ll be reading Chasing Dawn, and I finished Elle(s) last night

A quick review of Elle(s) since I saw it mentioned elsewhere(which is why I bought it):

- the art style is really good! Its like if one of those Discovering DID movies were made by Pixar. So far its not got any of the typical triggers, so it’s a very safe read.

- its short and a little awkward with the panels; I did a lil bit of beep boop research and apparently this is one of the first comics this person’s ever written. The pacing is a little rushed, but it gets the story across

- the switches really aren’t gimmicky; its obviously not in anyones favor and have pretty realistic triggers(most of which are overwhelmed noping out, which.. mood)

-the hair color change is obviously for visual effect and not something that actually happens for her friends to see

-the inner world portrayals are really neat. The art that went into this is just so lovely. I think I saw a review of someone else saying the inner world was ‘too much’ but I really mean it when I say there wasn’t all that much, nor was it out of place =v= (i think people get antsy when they see innerworld portrayals, especially people without CDDs, and use it as a means to ‘prove’ others are faking, but hey ho just my opinion)

- overall pretty sneat so far. I only have the first book, and have the second one preordered. It seems like the artist is still working on the series, so we’ll see where it goes!

#dissociative identity disorder #dissociative identity disorder media #did in media #actuallydid #elles comic #elle(s) #chasing dawn the alters #i cant wait to read that one because theres fantasy + did and that sounds rad as fuck to me!

[rainbowolfe]

Shamura and Kallamar RQ

When Does a God Lose Their Heart? Part 1 | Part 2

The crowd didn’t have the courage to do more than yell at the two, but the Keepers and Guardians of the former Green Crown were already pouring in through the stadium doors, ready to avenge their lost ruler.

“Shamura? Shamura!!” They could already hear Kallamar yelling for them.

Based on past experiences, Shamura knew Kallamar would not pull off another curse like that in the incoming fight. Not because he physically couldn’t, but because the crowd’s reaction had certainly crushed his confidence.

They make haste to close the distance between them and Kallamar. They weren’t going to be able to fight their way out of this one. The two of them needed to abscond.

“Kallamar! Open a portal!”

“Er, really? Are you sure?”

“Now, please!”

Portals were not Kallamar’s forte, but Shamura was out of juice and anywhere would be better than here. He clearly intends to open a portal in front of him, but instead opens one under his feet. He yelps in surprise as he slips through, but Shamura isn’t far behind him.

Shamura is confused when they come out the other end of the portal, vision filled with the night sky. Then the inertia tilts them forward enough to catch a glimpse of the ground below. They were in the air and falling fast.

Shamura and Kallamar’s descent is cushioned by tree branches, the two of them interrupting the pristine silence of nature with their shouts of pain and the snapping of branches. While Shamura uses the branches intentionally to slow their descent, Kallamar’s fall is like that of a rag dolls.

When they hit the ground, fear overrides the pain searing through their body. They were actually quite unsure of the limitations of Kallamar’s immortality, and the thought of losing him here filled them with a dread they didn’t expect. Their ability to move at all meant they took less damage overall, but they knew they’d be slow to regenerate after all they’d done today.

“Brother!”

The words escape their lips before they can really think about it. They look around frantically, disoriented from the fall.

“Over here…” Kallamar weakly croaks, his body somewhat embedded into the dirt below him.

At the same time their eyes land on Kallamar’s body, they process what they just said. It’s not that they disagreed with it, they just weren’t ready to put it out into the open.

Should they clarify? Apologize? Pretend it didn’t happen? They rush over regardless.

“Are you alright?”

“I’m not dead, it seems.”

Shamura is at his side in moments, confirming his crown was intact before allowing themselves to relax. Kallamar looked oddly giddy despite definitely haven broken more than a few bones in that fall.

“’Brother’ you called me. Did my ears deceive?” His own ears wiggle in excitement.

“…they did not.”

“I would jump for joy and hug you if I could. What an honor to be perceived as your kin… a relief as well.” A nervous laugh is cut short by a grunt of pain. “I was sure you did not consider me anything more than a cute pet.”

Shamura didn’t know what to say. Kallamar was an opportunist, he could be lying. But… Shamura could feel that that wasn’t the case. They hadn’t even thought about giving the heart of the former Green Crown wielder to Kallamar, but once the idea occurred to them, they knew they would see it through.

“…one you would throw away after the embarrassment I subjected us to today.” Kallamar adds quietly.

“Embarrassment?” Shamura parrots. “Kallamar… You saved me. I’ll admit that fight wasn’t going the way I intended.”

“But the crowd…!”

“It is only natural they would be upset after you killed their god. But that is what I came to do. I do not care for their opinions.”

Shamura reaches into their cloak for the spare Camelias they kept, but notices the dulled appearance their cloak had taken on. They were completely depleted.

“It seems I cannot speed up your recovery… my apologies. I will keep you safe until you are able to move once more.”

Kallamar groans as he stares up at the night sky. The clouds had cleared and he could look at the stars. He can take comfort in one thing, at least.

“Narinder’s going to be so jealous.” He can’t keep the grin off his face.

“How bold of you to compare yourself to me in my presence.”

The terrified warble that comes from Kallamar is certainly less than dignified. Shamura gives him a comforting pat, a bit surprised themselves that they didn’t notice Narinder coming.

“Although Shamura coddles you with far more attention than you deserve, I would never be envious of your status as a damsel in distress.” Narinder steps out from the shadows, his tone annoyed but his tail and ears tell a different story.

“I am not!” Kallamar protests.

“Evening, Narinder.” Shamura gives a small wave.

“I killed a god today! If that makes me a damsel, what does that make you, who hasn’t achieved such a feat?”

Narinder doesn’t respond initially, instead looking to Shamura for confirmation, which they give nonverbally.

“Let me guess. You went and hid like a mouse until the last second, when you stole Shamura’s kill?” Narinder says flatly.

Shamura would’ve denied it, but the indignant noise Kallamar makes all but confirms Narinder’s assertation.

“I wasn’t hiding!”  

Narinder can’t help but to laugh. Then he sighs wistfully. “Why is it always my home you two teleport to when you’re in trouble?”

“The welcoming aura you give off must invite us here subconsciously.” Shamura hums.

He scoffs in response. There’s a long silence. Shamura has nothing more to add. Kallamar had a justified reason to express discomfort, but didn’t want Narinder to mock him for it. Narinder begins to tap his foot impatiently before suddenly snapping at them both.

“I hope you’re not waiting for an invitation inside, as it’s not coming.”

Shamura tilts their head slightly. “Ah, do not feel pressured to wait on us. We fell from a great height on our arrival, and I cannot heal Kallamar myself. We will leave as soon as his crown repairs him.”

Another pause. Narinder snatches Kallamar telepathically, making the poor squid yelp in pain. He begins to stomp away with him.

“Ow, ow! I’m injured, don’t move me!” Kallamar blubbers. “Whe-Where are you taking me!? Shamura!”

 Shamura stands as quickly as they can, following behind back to the little hut Narinder declared his home some time ago.

“Shut up!” Narinder snaps, not even looking back. “I’m going to fix you so you two can leave, and I can get on with my night!”

“O-Oh…. Thanks.”

“Don’t thank me, it’s not for your sake! It’s for mine!”

#cult of the lamb #cotl kallamar #cotl shamura #cotl fanfic #cotl narinder

[juniperhillpatient]

I didn’t want to share this with the link but my one & only criticism of that video I shared is super specific & it’s that the video essayist doesn’t like Dennis trying to kill Dee in the castle. In my opinion that was a beautifully hilarious scene / culmination of a hysterically entertaining subplot & I strongly disagree with her that it fell into the same category as other cases of the show becoming too mean spirited & neglecting to show that these characters care about each other in the latest seasons. I do agree that this is a huge issue & literally everything else in the almost 3 hour video I fully agreed with though so please still know I loved the critique. I just really liked the castle episodes & this is an excuse to talk about it lol -

I actually found the sibling dynamic weirdly sweet in the Covid episodes. The joke was funny because it wasn’t that Dennis literally wants to kill Dee, it was that he was delirious with Covid & thought he was communicating with a ghostly castle which is so funny cmon. And before that they were renting a castle together & she was teasing him while also taking care of him & in a giant castle they still chose to share a room like they’re so cute. It’s my favorite plot we’ve had in so many seasons & I must defend it with my life.

To me it was mean in classic sunny fashion which is VERY very notably different to the way new sunny is mean. It called back to such iconic scenes as “Dee? I swear you would be of more use to me if I skinned you and turned your skin into a lampshade. Or fashioned you into a piece of high-end luggage. I can even add you to my collection” followed by a hilariously horrified expression from Kaitlin Olson.

Dennis rushing at Dee in a deranged attempt to behead her only to pass out & she has to take him to the hospital is great. It’s the above mentioned scene with talk of skin luggage - or Dennis & Dee’s talk of murder & Dee’s confusion and about what the “actual plan” is in “Mac is a serial killer” amped up to 100 to me. It’s “Dennis is a serial killer” jokes done right much like “making Dennis Reynolds: a murderer” & NOT like “The Gang Gets Cursed.” That last one takes the joke way too far by leaving the implication that Dennis might actually be a killer which completely ruins the joke both by explaining it & botching the punchline which should always be that Dennis is a pathetic bitch who WISHES he was a serial killer (side note - other than that, I mostly enjoy “The Gang Gets Cursed” btw).

This became an essay but I wanted to share that extremely good & insightful video without my huge block of text commentary on something extremely specific. However I did want to rant about how much i LOVE the siblings in the castle episode imo that is pure classic sunny dynamics shining through the fog of late seasons overall crappiness lmao I’d actually categorize that specific sub plot as one of my favorites in the whole show which is insane given that it’s from season 15. I just really really love the Reynolds siblings being fucked up but in a funny way that has almost sweet aspects hehe

I also think this is an opportunity for me to discuss WHAT the notable difference is between the “mean” aspect of sunny here & why it works SO much better than the other mostly uncomfortable humor of later seasons. The joke’s punchline is on Dennis - something that’s desperately been needed in the sibling dynamic & the way it’s narratively framed for a LONG fucking time. As discussed in that amazing & super insightful video, new sunny punches down & it’s frankly cringe more often than not. Old Sunny knew who it’s jokes were on & it was always the person just asking for comeuppance by being awful. I’m not saying Dee isn’t awful because that would defeat the purpose of her character but she does suffer from what I call “the Meg Griffin effect.” It also hurts such characters as Britta Perry from Community, Jerry Gergich from Parks & Rec, & Toby Flenderson from The Office. It becomes more uncomfortable & off putting than funny as an audience member after a while to see everyone being consistently awful to one specific character who is not inherently worse than the others but is always the butt of the joke. It’s a trope I will simply never enjoy, personally.

But the castle plot works because it’s certainly deranged & mean (it’s literally not even always sunny if it’s not deranged & dark & mean you might as well give up & watch a different show if you don’t like your dynamics fucked up) but the joke is not -

A. Dennis is a serial killer ooooh edgy! - tired, contrived, Reddit core, unfunny, defeats the point of sunny which is that these guys are all incompetent losers

B. Haha dee is gonna die! She sucks lol! - that is one way to interpret the joke I guess but it’s so clearly actually that Dennis is in a fucking fever infused hallucination about ghosts & dee ultimately has to take his passed out ass the ER because this stupid bitch didn’t get vaccinated

Like it redeems so much or the awful dynamic they’ve built (which they unfortunately double down on anyway later. *cough* the gang goes bowling *cough*) where it’s like…. Isn’t it hilarious that Dennis constantly abuses his sister guys? Haha what if dee literally killed herself lol? Isn’t this so funny aren’t you having fun?

Classic sunny is mean. I’m not trying to say I dislike mean punchlines. But……. Dennis passing out & almost dying Covid IS mean? Dee having to deal with her brother almost beheading her & listening to his deranged conversations with “the castle” IS mean? It’s just that it’s mean in a FUNNY way. Like Charlie getting rejected by the waitress in the musical episode. Like Dee realizing how disgusting her schemes are in “PTSDee” & feeling sickened by herself. Like Frank getting told to fuck himself in his fat fucking ass in the Christmas episode. Or Mac shitting his pants in “Mac Day.” These are all examples of times I’ve found the meanness of sunny funny because it’s about showing what happens when you’re a horrible person who never learns.

Anyway in conclusion I love the Reynolds siblings & the castle plot is the only good part of new sunny goodbye

#Reynolds siblings #trash twins #golden geese #deedennis #Dennis & Dee #iasip s15 #the gang goes to Ireland #iasip season 15

[kigozula]

A Curse For True Love

Review (edited) and Bonus Epilogue Waterstones Edition

Spoilers

„Jacks has so badly wanted to tell her that he couldn’t even remember what Donatella looked like, that Evangeline was the only one he saw whenever he closed his eyes, that he would go with her anywhere… if he could“

Finally, the quote I was waiting for. Finally Jacks putting an end to the whole Tella debate: in thinking that he doesn’t even care about her.

Thanks fort that!

I don’t truly know where to start honestly. You guys are welcome to comment or ask if you have questions=)

OUABH: LOVED IT!! (VERY GOOD)

TBONA: I LIKED IT, but with two details erased

ACFTL: LIKED IT, though mostly because of the happy ending Evajacks

OUABH

So, Once Upon A Broken Heart is my favorite book. It is the only book I gave 5 Stars so far.

Because of that I think the following stories were not on the same good level. I still stand by my opinion and would have preferred a Duology better written than an unnecessary Trilogy of which the second book felt like a filler.

TBONA

The Ballad Of Never After was good. It was the most emotional book, I started crying when Evajacks had their last conversation there and kept on until the end.

There are two things that would make the book almost on the level of OUABH, if they wouldn't exist. Well to they don't since I completely ignore them: the Darling Girl and that First Fox disaster.

TBONA had some very intense and good scenes. Except for Lala, I liked almost everybody.

ACFTL

When I read it for the first time, I liked it very much. The idea of three POVs was an excellent idea and I enjoyed Apollo’s POV. But now that I re-read the whole triology, I liked TBONA (which I haven't when I first read it last year) and this time I didn't like ACFTL as much... I was glad that we finally got to know Apollo better and I think he didn’t deserve that ending…(?). But I agree, there were SO MANY questions left unanswered and so less Evajacks=((. Also, I would have loved to know the moment Jacks found out Evangeline lost her memories and see how he reacted. And him giving up... Idk. Overall I think this book is good because Evajacks is endgame. Though I do believe the reason why this book is unpopular, is that it is truly boring compared to the first two. The first two books were unputdownable. This one… it was just weird? The three pov idea was good but overall I was bored and can’t re-read it with the same enthusiasm as I read OUABH & TBONA.

APOLLO

He made some dark things I didn’t like yes, but him having that cruel ending and turning so „heartless“ at the end, when he cared for Evangeline and was in love wasn’t handled well. I wished they would have had an agreement with Evangeline instead of marking him as „the villain“ when Evangeline herself admits „she also made terrible decisions because of love“ forgives Lala and Jacks but curses Apollo (Lala joining her) felt not so true to her character.

That being said, what he did to her at the end was unacceptable of course. I mean Apollo getting the evil stamp from the beginning was undeserving.

This guy was cursed so many times and if it wouldn’t be for Jacks betraying him, none of this would have happened. So, Apollo has a right to hold a grudge to Jacks.

I also found Apollo’s brutal change into „Villain“ at the end a bit rushed and unrealistic… he was not an „pure-evil-villain“ at the start. I liked the part where he describes everything that happened to him and that he never felt good when accepting Aurora’s advice. It was so sad.

I was also looking forward for more Tiberius. He was mentioned once by Apollo but without any details. I mean he was important and it would have been nice to know what happened between the brothers and why exactly he is gone now.

JACKS

Okay now… how come that this guy was caring and honest in OUABH when they chased vampires with Evangeline, then became a "I have to keep my feelings for myself and annoy Evangeline and hurt her" in TBONA, suddenly is a man who is madly in love with her and tries everything to protect her?

I loved Jacks in this book, it was truly amazing to see a happy ending and that he finally showed what he feels for Evangeline. I just wished for more insight in TBONA. Some Jacks POVS would have been amazing there so that we would have an official proof that he loves her already.

Evangeline is the only girl he fell in love with and the one he ever truly loved. We know that now and it is what we waited for.

But some questions still left unanswered:

How come when Jacks claims he wanted Evangeline from the very start, and when they bonded after Chao’s lair in OUBH, we found out in TBONA he used her all along and played her just to get back to Tella still, although now he claims he doesn’t want Tella?

I wanted him to say he had another motive to open the arch. Because if he is in love with Evangeline, he would have not used her all along. I was shocked in TBONA anyway when he said why he wants those stones. It felt so ... "cheap" and unfitting. So why would he still hang on on collecting the stones while using the woman he loves? To protect her, he didn't need to go back in time to someone else and leave Evangeline behind... this is the worst thing in the whole story and the most disappointing thing. I am still angry about this.

Also, to me the weird topic about that first fox or whatever is absolutely not essential. That is why I ignore it. It was an ongoing thing in the second book, but it has not even the slightest importance. It was just there to fill the pages.

All in all, I like this book, but I have no idea how many stars I would give it? Strange because it never happened to me. It does not hold a torch to OUABH, and it was nothing like I expected the story would continue when I first read OUABH. OUABH was so thrilling and amazing that I wished the story would have gone a different way with and Evajacks happy ending of course.

Also, I miss Jacks telling when exactly he fell in love with Evangeline. There is no part that tells us that.

So, I assume he started having feelings in the crypt but shoved it aside and finally admitted it at the end of Ballad?

If his intentions with the stones would be something else, or at the very least if he would have had two goals and would have eliminated the motive of going to Tella, the whole Trilogoy would have been way better with the rating.

It would have been nice to know more about his childhood and parents as well.

And what happened to Luc and Marisol? Why did they vanish like so many other things?

KISSING

I also wished the kissing scene was intensly written and described. I am happy that it finally happened but if we compare it with the books prior, the Evajacks physical scenes came too short. Them kissing is the biggest deal it deserved more attention.

There were parts I laughed out loud too. Lala and Chaos confrontation was again very funny. Also the interaction between Evangeline-Lala-Aurora was fun too!!

All in all: Thanks for Stephanie Garber for introducing us this world and the characaters. Thanks you for the books and expecially that you gave us EVAJACKS HAPPY ENDING!!=)

And here I have the Bonus Epilogue of the Waterstones Edition:

I liked this one since Evangeline didn't just forget about Apollo.

BTW, this book looks very beautiful. Might be my favorite even. The details and the colors are truly fascinating!

#acftl #ouabh #evajacks #evangeline fox #tbona #a curse for true love #once upon a broken heart

[whisperwillyou]

Thanks so much for the fic list! There’s so many here I can’t believe it! You must have read a lot to find these and I super appreciate you taking the time!

I should have included this in my last post but now I’m curious are any of these dadrius? I joined the fandom late and missed why everyone like it- to me he seems actually kind of mean to Hunter and I don’t really like dadrius. The first one looks like it might be, but even if a few are you gave so many recs I think I can easily avoid it.

No problem at all, my friend!

And yes, I have read a lot of fics

A LOT

Consequently, I’ve also had the misfortune of being tricked into reading many a romance fic because they weren’t tagged properly, or weren’t tagged at all, or added the huntlow tag 10 chapters in when I’d already subscribed to the fic etc. 😒 but I ADORE Luz and Hunter, so just keep putting myself though it lol. I’m glad I can spare you the suffering!

“Your Hands do More Than Hurt” is the only one on there that’s specifically Dadrius centered.

I don’t really get dadrius either 😅 I can see why people enjoy it, but I’m apathetic to it at best. I think it could have been an interesting dynamic if they’d gotten to develop it properly, but like everything else it got rushed by the cancelation. Dude needs to apologize to Hunter tho before I can ever forgive him for being such a dick to a literal child lol “you’re very good at doing exactly as you’re told” HE’S 16, AUTISTIC, ONLY GETS TO LEAVE THE CASTLE ON WEEKENDS, AND WAS RAISED BY THE GUY WHOS BAD ENOUGH THAT YOU CURRENTLY PLOTTING A REBELLION. WHAT DO YOU EXPECT DARIUS???

He does have a significant role in “What We are is the Sum of a Thousand Lies” but in my opinion he’s very well utilized! this fic actually warmed me up to Darius and Hunter’s relationship. Overall it’s been more focused on Luz, Hunter, and Flapjack. Darius’s role in the fic is equal to Eda’s. Definitely worth trying in my opinion! I wasn’t sold on it either until chapter 3 dropped and i was like “OH THIS AUTHOR GETS ME-“ chapter 3 got me hooked 😂

#the owl house #TOH #hunter the golden guard #Hunter Noceda #luz noceda #toh flapjack #what we are is the sum of a thousand lies #TOH fics #I’m also biased bc I adore golden guard era Hunter #well I adore all Hunters lol #but we didn’t get nearly enough of Hunter being the golden guard for my taste #I just wish they’d gotten to develop his redemption arc for longer #sigh #Noceda siblings my beloved