#and in her biography section she talks about the ghost that lives in her house

[willieloomissavescollinsport]

Hawkes Harbor Review

"Surely, Louisa, you are not suggesting I take Jamie to Disneyland."

After a bestselling author's work is rejected, in a move of irony & karma, Dark Shadows finds ITSELF the subject of plagiarism. And now, brought to you by the letter 'H', here is my review of Hawkes Harbor by S.E. Hinton.

  As the legends go, the novel 'Hawkes Harbor' was originally intended to be an entry in publishers HarperCollins' Dark Shadows series. What changes were made to the storyline & characters afterwards are hard to pinpoint, but for all pretense and purposes, I chose to read this book while mentally changing each character or location to its DS counterpart:

Jamie Sommers..........Willie Loomis Kellen Quinn............Jason McGuire Grenville Hawkes...Barnabas Collins Dr. Louisa Kahne...Dr. Julia Hoffman Sophia Marie........................Josette Katie Roddendem........Maggie Evans Richard..................................Roger Lydia.................................Elizabeth Ricky.....................................David Barbara...............................Carolyn Hawkes Harbor.................Collinsport Hawkes Hall......................Old House Terrace View....................Wyndcliffe

  This comes in handy mostly because, with the exception of the 3 male leads, not many details are given regarding the other individuals mentioned in passing or who enter the storyline from time to time.

  The plot itself more or less follows Willie's storyline early on the show, with some added details & flashback accounts to his time spent with Kellen/Jason, along with a few other changes. For starters, Jamie gets more tail in a chapter of this book than Willie could ever hope to get throughout his entire run on the show. He gets it on with a rich bitch who scratches his back up; with Katie/Maggie, IMMEDIATELY after Grenville/Barnabas kidnaps her; with two girls on a cruise ship, at the same time. Hell, even the book's equivalent of Nurse Jackson climbs into bed with him to give him a pity handjob.

Whereas onscreen, I think Willie only got as far as copping a feel while holding Maggie hostage.

  And as I mentioned before, there are rather large sections of the book devoted to Jamie/Willie's backstory, which had previously been unexplored in the show's official canon. The story begins by showing Jamie/Willie, an out of wedlock child with a dying mother, being placed in an orphanage at the age of 7. There, his mother's heirloom crucifix necklace is taken away from him, hinting at his future fascination with shiny trinkets. In his adulthood, he enlists in the Navy & later befriends Kellen/Jason after defeating two Hawaiian men in a brawl.

  For the years to follow, Kellen & Jamie primarly travel together on the high seas, makin' cons, makin' scams & fightin' round the world. During the course of their adventures: Jamie is accused of rape by a rich heiress who seduced him; Kellen tells a story where the punchline involves a frozen sausage; and the two are robbed by pirates while a shark attacks Jamie as he dives for a ruby.

After their resources are dried out, the duo end up back in the states in the town of Hawkes Harbor, Delaware/Collinsport, Maine. Which, of course, is where these characters were introduced on Dark Shadows. But since this isn't suppose to be a Dark Shadows novel, some of the details have been mixed around. For starters, instead of Kellen being Lydia/Elizabeth's husband's two-timing friend, HE is her husband. They were married overseas while Lydia/Elizabeth was working as a nurse for the war. After the marriage went sour, Kellen took a buyout to produce a death certificate, vanish & allow her to go back to her family as a widow.

  Posing as the brother of Lydia's late husband, Kellen moves into the grand family mansion & collects clothes & money while Jamie stays at a boarding house nearby. There, he befriends one of the workers: Katie Roddendem/Maggie Evans, as well as her little sister Trisha(/Amy, perhaps?) & their mother, Mrs Pivens (who seems to be playing the role of Mrs Johnson, as evidenced by this line: "Well, my landlady, Mrs Pivens, she liked me. Don't ask me why-'cept she had a son around my age, he turned out bad. I guess she wanted to believe guys like us were good, deep down somewhere.") Ricky Hawkins/David also forms a bond with Jamie & later tells him of buried pirate treasures located in the caves of a nearby island, said to be haunted.

  With just that information to go on, Jamie foolishly goes a treasure huntin' & unchains a coffin revealing vampire Grenville Hawkes/Barnabas Collins. Grenville, who's sounds more like a chain of motels than a scary vampire, puts Jamie under his power & to work on restoring Hawkes Hall/Old House. Now, it is worth mentioning that some changes were made to Grenville, from the Barnabas we all know & love/hate. Most notably, Jamie describes him as being around the age of 50, with no trying to pretend that the middle aged vampire was 25 when confined in a coffin. In addition, Grenville has had *gasp* MULTIPLE wives! One of which produced an offspring named William, which is perhaps a nod to the our protagonist's original name. Guess William also dodged a bullet in that he wasn't named Bramwell.

  Some time after Gren's first wife passes on, he marries a young woman by the name of Sophia Marie/Josette. Soon afterwards, Grenville finds himself turned into one of the living dead. Sophia/Josette is all too anxious to join him in being eternally damned, but unfortunately for her, Bizarro-Barnabas will have none of that & decides chokes a bitch instead. Fast forward a few centuries and Grenville spots Katie/Maggie & makes up his mind that he wants Sophia/Josette to be a bloodsucking creature of the night after all! But here's where it gets WEIRD.

  Instead of slowly brainwashing Katie into believing she IS Sophia, he plans to have Sophia's spirit, who just happens to be hanging around Hawkes Hall for no good reason, inhabit her body. I guess just like in 'Ghost', when Patrick Swayze jumps into Whoopi Goldberg or something. So, Gren attacks Katie & leaves her alone in the Hawkes Hall long enough for Jamie to find her, allowing THIS exchange to take place:

"Jamie," she said suddenly. "Make love to me." "W-w-what?" he stammered, drawing back from her, searching her eyes. "Make love to me. Now."

  Yep, you've only got mere moments to escape, but why not do the nasty instead? I mean, it's not like an angry jealous killer vampire could walk in at any second or anything! Actually you know what? If I didn't believe it was impossible, I think Willie Loomis himself wrote this book. That's right, after hearing about his parallel time self being a famous writer, he thought to himself 'Well, why can't I do that?' And then he proceeded to write a thinly disguised biography of his life, giving everyone a different name & changing the events to the way he thought they SHOULD have happened!

Oh & here's another kicker, Katie/Maggie claims to be a virgin. Ha! Yeah, I know Joe is always shown sleeping on the couch in the show, but I've figured that was because Sam had a short fuse & a shotgun handy amidst his paintbrushes, just in case someone dared to lay a finger on his daughter. Trust me, if Maggie's a virgin, then Carolyn's in the freakin' convent. So Katie is saying that she wants her first roll in the hay to be with pretty boy Jamie instead of Count Hawkins. Actually I wonder if Grenville is even capable of performing such an act. Usually vampires in popular culture are as dead below the waist as the rest of their bodies, & Barnabas never seemed to be any exception. Sure he was interested in anything under 30 with a vagina who walked within his line of vision. But as a vampire, he never showed an interest in sinking anything except his fangs into a young lady.

  But, getting back to our story. Jamie & Katie are engaging in some fluffy coitus. They kiss, they cry, they climax together. Cherubs come down from the heavens & sing. Then Grenny shows up & doesn't seem to show any reaction to the fact that some hard core nookie just took place in that very room. But no matter to that, because Grenville has to deliver some corny dialogue to his sweetie:

  "Come, my heart, " the low voice beseeched the air. "Come and join me."

  "All right!" (All right! Let's get this party started!) Jamie shouted as he struggled back up. "You go ahead and do this, kill Katie, I can't stop you. I seen people kill before-for money, God, or country, and you with your 'necessity for existence.' I even did it myself once. But don't you call it love! This isn't love!"

  After that speech, I half expected Jamie to break out into song, but instead Sophia Marie talks through Katie, forming a ghostly glow over her body. The lovers embrace, kiss, cry, the cherubs come back for an encore & Sophia Marie/Josette basically tells Grenville that although she loves him, they can't really be together like this. A ghost & a vampire together? Might make for a decent mid season replacement sitcom, but doesn't lend itself to being very practical for real life.

  So with Katie now useless, Grenville tells Jamie to get rid of her. Maybe he just meant to dump her in the trashcan out back for pickup, but Jamie takes Katie & runs for the hills. And who should see them on their way, but a Sheriff Patterson/Joe Haskell hybrid known as Mitch Morgan. To make matters worse, Katie is Mitch's main squeeze & she's been missing for awhile. Mighty Mitch takes aim & Jamie gets 3 bullets in his back, as opposed to Super-Willie who recieved FIVE & recovered in record time!

  From there, Jamie is taken to a criminal insane ward & later transferred to Terrace View/Wyndcliffe under the request of Grenville & Dr. Louisa Kahne/Dr. Julia Hoffman. This is where the majority of the story takes place in the forms of flashbacks & remembrances while a physician named Dr. McDevitt conducts therapy sessions with Jamie. Which is an affective tool for storytelling, but I wouldn't really buy as being able to take place. Think about it. Would Julia really allow anyone to ask Willie questions, taking the risk that he might reveal something? Frankly, I've always imagined Willie as being kept heavily medicated & isolated in his room while at Wyndcliffe.

Oh, & while it's not even brought up until much later in the novel, you should know that, much like on the show, Kellen/Jason became worm food some time before Jamie got shot. Worse yet, instead of Grenville merely using Barnabas's trusted M.O. of strangling someone to death, here Grenville drinks all the blood from Kellen's body. And then orders Jamie to stake his friend to prevent him from rising as a vampire. Adding yet another thing to give Jamie nightmares at night.

  After several months of being at Terrace View/Wyndcliffe, in following the storyline of Dark Shadows, Jamie/Willie is released into the care of Grenville & Dr. Louisa Kahne/Dr. Julia Hoffman, against the wishes of Dr. McDevitt. Grenville is magically now 99.9% vampire free but it's still alluded to that he needs shovels for misdeeds, which are never fully explained in detail. Meanwhile, Jamie has become the Boo Radley of Hawkes Harbor, with small children throwing rocks at him. And on top of that, from his ordeal & time spent in the institution, he's become greatly addicted to prescription drugs.

  Following Jamie accidentally ODing on his pills, Louisa/Julia finally gets it through her thick wig that Jamie just may have problems & observes he's likely suffering from Stockholm syndrome. Although since this takes place in 1968 & that term will not be conceived until 1973, I guess Louisa took some trips to the future that we didn't know about. She suggests that Grenville should take him someplace to relax while he is gradually reduced from his meds, to which he reacts with this line:

  "Surely, Louisa, you are not suggesting I take Jamie to Disneyland."

  Oh man, I'd pay good money to see Barnabas & Willie in Disneyland! Can you imagine it? Within the first 24 hours, Willie will have beaten up Goofy & been banned for life from Mr. Toad's Wild Ride while Barnabas has already made plans to kidnap Snow White & turn her into his new Josette!

But unfortunately for us, Louisa/Julia has other plans in mind.

  "Richard was saying..." she began. His look warned her he had little interest in what his cousin had to say, but she went on. "The Collins shipping industry needed to look into passenger cruises. They are the wave of the future-You know Roger and his puns."

(That above line is NOT a typo, by the way. For two sentences they let the names 'Collins' & 'Roger' slip through without changing them!)

  "No," Grenville said. "No."   "Of course he offered to go. But you could investigate for yourself. And it's not unusual for a man of your position and background to travel with a valet."

  So, Grenville & Jamie are off to the high seas in a high class cruise ship. Jamie manages to come down off his drug dependency while he spends his vacation having nonstop threesome with 2 babes who hang on him like bark on a tree. Grenville also finds time to cheat on Louisa/Julia score with an older lady by the name of Leslie while on board. This leads to another quotable line:

  "So Grenville," Jamie said conversationally, "yours give good head?"

Greetings from Commodore Cruise Line! Wish you were here. Love, Jamie.

  Yep, Jamie/Willie & Grenville/Barnabas discussing oral sex. An area most fan fiction writers wouldn't even dare venture towards. But all good things must come to an end, including the boy's pleasure cruise & they return to Hawkes Harbor with Jamie greatly improved & more confident in himself. In time, he becomes a productive member of society, working odd jobs & donating his services to schools & charities.

  The book then flashes forward 10 years where Jamie has become Harvey Lacey & lives a content comfortable life with his former captor. That Christmas, Grenville 'Last of the Big Time Spenders' Hawkins gives him a quilt. Jamie gets to enjoy it for exactly one night before a deer crashes into the car while he's driving Grenville home. He dies moments later & meets Kellen/Jason in heaven. Kellen claims that Jamie's act of lighting a candle & saying a prayer, allowed him into a much less fiery accommodation in the afterlife, but personally I think he just had some dirt on God & blackmailed his way through the pearly gates. The two sail off into the sunset of the great beyond. The End.

  So that's the book. It has its pros & its cons, but it actually might have been much better if released as originally written, with the characters' names, places & events as we know them still intact. If you are familiar with Dark Shadows, it's impossible not to associate the book with it & become annoyed with some of the changes. While if you're NOT acquainted with the show, you're very likely to read the novel not being completely clear of the characters' personalities or motivations. It's really a no win situation.

  In general, I like the way Jamie is written. But I think he's made out to be too much of a Gary Stu in some parts of the book. For one thing, Jamie is written as being primarily well liked by anyone he comes across, whereas this is certainly not the case for Willie. Early on, he insults & gets into fights with nearly anyone he meets. Jamie acts as an older brother towards Ricky & Trisha while Willie is mostly seen just throwing David's ass out of the Old House. The character of Katie is deeply fond of Jamie, going as far to name one of her sons after him. Regarding Maggie & Willie, early on she deeply despises him as he continually comes on to her, even when she makes it perfectly clear that she is not interested. After he is shot & she comes to believe in his innocence, her feeling towards him becomes one of friendship. But it's still more of a commiserative manner rather than romantic as Willie would like to believe. Often her interactions with him come off as if she's dealing with a child or slow minded adult.

  And in turn, I think many of the secondary characters seem to have been made less likable, perhaps to make Jamie even more of the hero. The Hawkeses are described in brief as simply a family of rich snobs. Richard/Roger has to be taken to detox clinics, Barbara/Carolyn gets involved in one scandle after another. Granted the Collins themselves were far from perfect, but never near the level of arrogant highbrows as they are presented here as the Hawkeses.

  Dr. Louisa Kahne is also written as a very flawed individual. In addition to being extremely controlling towards Jamie, it is mentioned by Dr. McDevitt that Louisa barely has any medical training or knowedge & yet goes around acting as a doctor. And while I'm not gonna defend Julia's treatment of Willie which ranges from small acts of kindness to being a complete bitch, I think it's unfair to quickly write her up as an unqualified quack. Her Doctor Feelgood reputation of passing out sedatives like Halloween candy precedes her, but Julia has been shown treating vampirism & creating an artifical person, & seems able to handle whatever injury or emergency is thrown at her on a daily basis.

But while we're on the subject of the Queen of Barbiturates, I do want to discuss a subject which I thought the book did well in covering. Which is in dealing with Jamie's health & mental state. On Dark Shadows, after Willie is shot enough times to kill a person two times over & regains consciousness from his coma, he is shown as being in a great amount of pain. And furthermore, he appears to have undergone a complete mental breakdown. Showing signs of amnesia (whether genuine or as a protective defense), he seems to have regressed to his state after being attacked by Barnabas, begging for it not to be dark & for no one to hurt him.

  When we next see Willie a few months later at Wyncliffe, he claims to be physically strong as ever, but is still showing occasional signs of delusions, bad decisions, as well as sparks of his old mean demeanor that was repressed after being bitten. Miraculously, following his release, his mental state actually seems to improve over time, even while he is seen getting thrown into one dangerous situation after another. This I've always found hard to believe, especially considering Willie's parental caregivers rarely give him a thought of concern at all.

Willie: (After being forced to dig up a corpse & bring it back to the Old House) "You know, every time I touched it I felt sick. When I came back here I couldn't even go to sleep. I put it down here & I went to my room & I just lay there, Barnabas!" Barnabas: "Well, next time Julia will give you a sedative."

  Yeah, I don't find it hard to picture Willie becoming dependent on painkillers & tranquilizers with his environment or the health problems that would come from 5 bullets in the back. But by this point, Willie mainly served as a background character, carrying out duties for Barnabas & Julia, with limited insight into his own personal life, or lack thereof. After all, what reason did the writers have to give his character a story arc of his own, when the viewers seemed content with watching Barnabas repeatedly pine on a lost love or mope over his vampire state?

  But that's where its the viewer's job to watch, observe, read between the lines & ponder the untapped stories, feelings & adventures for characters who remain a mystery. And for that, despite some of the book's shortcomings, S.E. Hinton has done a respectable job in trying to make the reader better understand the character of Willie Loomis. Or Jamie Sommers, as she chooses to call him. Or if nothing else, I'm at least thankful that the author wanted to give Willie his moment in the spotlight.

#dark shadows #willie loomis #hawkes harbor

[mumblecorecleverclods]

I want a platform where I can rant/gush about the following topics:

- New York Times Bestseller Fern Michael’s batshit bananas website

-YouTube music mixes you should know about

-How much of our iconography about witchcraft comes from alewives aka the OG beer brewers (aka men have always been stealing women’s work and calling it Innovation)

-Vlad the Impaler’s hot queer brother Radu the Handsome

-and more, probably.

What’s the best way to rant about these? Do I need to start a podcast? Do I need to get a tiktok that ISN’T just me pretending to be a menacing widow of mysterious wealth who makes tea? And more importantly, does anyone care/would anyone listen to such rants or find them of use? 

#I do think I need to make a video walkthrough of Fern Michaels' website with commentary #because it is WILD #she has written over 150 books #and her website lists all of those books #but also has a photo of every pet shes ever owned dead and alive #and in her biography section she talks about the ghost that lives in her house #and she has her recipe for peach cobbler on there too #and jambalaya under Ferns Favorites #guys it is a LOT #please visit Fern Michaels dot com #there is a A Lot of Content and you will come away knowing more than you ever wanted about Fern Michaels life

[oc-clusterfxck]

    Lorenzo Xavier-Bianchi  — Full Character Biography

                                                 ⚠️ WARNING: ⚠️ Lorenzo's backstory includes instances of abuse and may be triggering. Specific sections that include potentially triggering content will be marked with the warning emoji (⚠️) at the beginning and the end. Skip over the section if you may be triggered by it. The more specific details beyond that he was abused are not extremely important to Lorenzo's character. Proceed with caution and be safe!

✗ General Information: ✗ Name: Lorenzo Bianchi (FC: Francesco Totti). Nickname(s): Enzo, Enz, Ghost Boy. Age: 32 (06/18) Height: 5’9” (1.8 m) Weight: 176lbs (80kg) Born: Sadler, Texas. Current Residence: Salem Center, Westchester County, NY, USA. Religion: Agnostic. Sexuality: Gay. Relationship Status: Dating Vigor Maximus. Occupation(s): X-Man.

✗ Personality:✗    Lorenzo is quiet and introverted. He would much rather keep to himself, and read a book or draw, rather than have any sort of contact with any other human being. He hardly considers himself a human being as it is, but rather as a ghost, because of this. It is difficult for him to build even the slightest of friendships because he is so shy, but should he form a bond with somebody, it is likely he’ll latch onto the person, seeing them as one of the few people who truly cares because they didn’t give up on attempting to form a friendship with him. In these cases, he is very gentle, but also very touchy and affectionate, enjoying hugs and cuddles. He is also very childish and goofy in general when he does form a friendship with anybody, as well. Despite his shyness and anxiety, Lorenzo is still very protective of the few people he considers friends and family, especially those within the X-Men, and few other heroes.     Should Lorenzo have to speak to strangers, he is often shaky, he mumbles and he avoids eye contact. He is also very jumpy in general because he can see ghosts and communicate with them. If he isn’t prepared to speak, especially to a stranger, it is highly likely that the sudden initiation of contact and the expectancy of him to speak will trigger his anxiety. Should an anxiety attack be triggered in any way, he often loses control of his powers, and will become intangible and slightly transparent until calmed. Many of these tendencies stem from the fact that he is autistic, and the two often overlap.    In his free time, Lorenzo often hides out in his room on his own. He enjoys reading, writing, and drawing, and often spends hours on end doing so. He is intelligent - perhaps not as smart as other heroes - but more than the average person, and it shows in the way he acts and speaks (when comfortable), and in the way he speeds through even the largest of books. More often than not, he’ll have music going in the background as well when he’s alone in his room, seeing music as a very good distraction from all of his problems. He also has gaming consoles in his room, and he enjoys playing FIFA - it’s the Italian in him. Otherwise, he doesn’t really touch the consoles.

✗ Powers:✗    > Intangibility: The ability to become intangible; the inability to be touched. Using this ability, Lorenzo is able to avoid most, if not all physical attacks, or physical contact of any kind. In its most advanced stages, intangibility may give Lorenzo the ability to levitate and/or fly, and this is something he has been working on for years, however he has not yet been able to achieve it. Should he grab hold of somebody before becoming intangible, he can allow the other person to become intangible as well, however it is difficult for him to do so, especially if he is attempting to pass through solid object such as walls or doors with the other person. Lorenzo will often become intangible if afraid, or if someone he isn’t comfortable with tries to initiate any form of contact. This power requires a strong concentration, meaning coming up against enemies with any other kind of psychic abilities often renders his intangibility useless.     > Invisibility: The ability to become invisible to the naked eye. Lorenzo’s ability to become invisible is often paired with his intangibility, and it is something he does when anxious or afraid. In battle, however, it is sometimes very difficult to manage, because of his shaky and uneasy breathing. More often than not, though, he is focused and calm when in battle, because he has the lives of others in his hands, which is enough to keep him from panicking. Thus, invisibility proves to be useful. Like his intangibility, he can also pass this ability to a second person, should he choose to do so. However, there have been times in battle where his invisibility has failed, and the enemy could still see him one way or another, while no one else could.     > Phantasm Manipulation: The power to manipulate ghosts/specters and their energies. This includes communicating with them as though they were alive and well, like any other person around him. This doesn’t necessarily prove to be useful in any sense for Lorenzo, but rather causes more problems. As a child, the ability made it difficult to focus as so many spirits could be attempting to speak to him at once, however as he’s gotten older, he’s since learned how to control it. Using his powers, he has befriended a few spirits who tag along and help him out, whether in battle, or just when he is having a difficult time. As he’s said time and time again, sometimes he believes he would make a better ghost than a human… He gets along better with them, after all.     > Swordsmanship: Due to persistent paranoia that his powers won't be entirely useful in close quarters combat courtesy of his anxiety, Enzo went so far as to teach himself to fight with swords and knives. He had always idolized gladiators and knights as a child, and his love of history continued well into adulthood, so learning swordsmanship seemed to be the way to go. With the help of of other intelligent mutants, he created a sword that could be compressed to about the size of a pen, and extended with a push of a button to carry with him easily in case of emergency. 

✗ Backstory:✗ Despite his mother’s best efforts, Lorenzo lived anything but a normal childhood. Between endless bullying from his classmates and his father, he was beaten down time and time again, and struggled to come back from it all repeatedly. It was hard, and for several years, his mother was his best friend through it all. However, due long hours at the high school, marking and grading papers, Lorenzo's mother was rarely home until the late hours of the evening.    ⚠️His father was entrusted with picking a young Enzo up from school on his way home from work, however the abuse began the moment he set foot in the car, typically remaining verbal and minimal until he had alcohol in his system. Sober or not, his father's hatred remained. He resented his son for being a mutant, being one of the individuals to often express their distaste for mutants and rally for their imprisonment or death. His father often likened him to being "sick dog" that he needed to "take out back and put down," and he wasn't shy about telling him to his face. Though drunk and reckless, he was always careful to beat Lorenzo in places where the bruises wouldn't be visible. And, if any were visible, he ensured that his son was too afraid to tell anyone about what was really going on at home. His mother knew of what her son was going through but, as a victim herself, she feared for her son's life, and couldn't stand up to her husband until her son was safe. Working multiple jobs and remaining out of the house for seemingly all hours of the day was meant to be an attempt at creating a better life for she and her son so that they could get away from her abusive husband, but it ultimately made things much worse for her son. She never did fully comprehend what had been going on when she wasn't home as she never witnessed it firsthand, but she had always assumed he suffered the same fate as her... Though there was nothing she could do without putting both of them at risk. In the few years Lorenzo lived at home, he made a handful of trips to the emergency room with broken bones, bruised ribs, and countless other signs of abuse. But, because he refused to talk about what had happened, nothing could be done. On particularly bad nights, or nights when his mother wouldn't come home until the early hours of the morning due to her second job, the abuse became much worse. Although far and few between, on some occasions his father would take him up to the guest bedroom and molest him - something so traumatizing that Lorenzo could only cope with it by pushing it to the back of his mind and acting as though it had never happened at all until he had completely forgotten it had. Simply put, most afternoons Enzo would head home fearing for his life while most kids his age didn't even understand the concept of death. ��️    The name calling was the hardest part of it all throughout the years. Physical wounds healed, but the name calling stuck with him, and made his disorder become increasingly worse. The name calling reached it peak when, from a young age, Lorenzo decided he liked boys more than girls, and didn't like when adults would tease him about girlfriends. His father’s remarks began to really take a toll on him, but he could never speak out about it. He resorted to listening to and accepting the homophobic slurs he didn't even quite understand until his very last days in that household, leading him to suppress feelings about his sexuality for years to come.    It was Charles Xavier himself who contacted Lorenzo's mother to discuss her son's unique abilities. He seemed to know everything about him and what was going on at home in ways she couldn't quite comprehend, but regardless, she was thrilled to have found a safe place for him to go, away from his father, and where he could truly be happy and... /Normal/. She explained what Charles Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters meant for Lorenzo to her son, and he agreed to go, while she told her husband she was sending their son to a boarding school due to his impressive grades. His father had no complaints; in fact, he was happy to have one less nuisance to deal with, in his own words.    Upon leaving, despite having been rather excited at the mention of the school at first, Lorenzo was miserable. He was only seven, weeks short of his eighth birthday, and he was made to leave the only home he had ever known... Even if it wasn't much of a home. He knew he should be relieved to escape his father, but he wasn't very happy to be away from his mother; the only person he felt he could really trust in his life.    ⚠️ Within a short time of Lorenzo leaving the household, his mother became the target of his father's drunken rage and abuse. However, it was short lived, as, now that her son was safe and out of the picture, she was able to call the police, though not without escaping unscathed. She had proof of what had been going on all along, - although she never did come to realize the true extent of what Enzo had faced - and there was no way having him locked away could backfire as her son was under the care of Professor Xavier, now. His father was jailed on multiple counts of abuse and even attempted murder; something Lorenzo only learned of as he reached his teenage years. ⚠️    At first, it was difficult to make friends, and it was even harder to even get any rest at night. It felt as though he was stuck in an endless loop of sadness and misery during a time in which he didn't have the capacity to understand depression and what it meant. He had his own room, unlike many of the other students, as it was the best way to avoid triggering his anxiety. He would often wake up in the middle of the night, screaming, until one of the other students went and found Professor Xavier, or one of the other elder mutants.    As the days went on and the nightly routine continued, Professor Xavier began checking in on him before bed and often throughout the day, just generally spending time with him. He knew Lorenzo felt alone and afraid, and although Lorenzo didn't know of his powers or just how the elder man knew how he was feeling, he was appreciative of the help he offered, even if at first he was afraid to trust him. As the nights progressed he found his nightmares lessening when Charles would come by his room and put him to bed as father would, and occasionally stay for awhile to ensure he slept peacefully. The feeling was foreign to Lorenzo, as his own father had never so much as played catch with him, or even really had a conversation with him, the two formed a bond rather quickly. Charles made him feel safe, and ensured that he knew he would always be protected from anyone who wished to do him harm by Charles himself. He felt silly for looking up to Professor Xavier so much, considering surely many of the other children felt the same way - Charles was a paternal figure to many of the kids here who had no family, why was he any different than them? And so he kept his feelings to himself, unaware of the fact that the elder man had known all along and, in fact, had begun seeing Lorenzo as something of a son to him, as well. Of course, the school was smaller then, and with fewer students to deal with, Charles was happy to spend time with Lorenzo to ensure he felt better, and develop such a bond with him.    As the years went on at the school, Lorenzo found his anxiety lessening from what it once was. There was less to fear, and more to learn - and he did love learning. The longer he was at the school, the more he learned about himself and the rest of the world, and the more he learned to control both his disorder and his powers, so that neither had such a hold on his life. He learned to control and strengthen his powers, and he learned to control his anxiety, so that he could become a hero as well.    Upon growing older and eventually being too old to attend school, Lorenzo instead became one of the main members of the X-Men. He had no intention of going home, as some mutants did. Here, he fit in just fine. And he was enjoying it, quite frankly. At first, it tested him. It tested everything he had worked so hard to achieve. His control of his powers, his anxiety, his strength, his courage… And, frankly, he missed his mother, too. But with persistence, and his new friends, it was just another obstacle he was able to overcome, until he himself was a member of the team. He went so far as to teach himself how to handle knives and swords so that he would always have something to offer in battle. He’d never even dreamed of becoming some sort of superhero, but, through attending the school, it had so easily become a reality, and he was thrilled to have come so far.    Today, Lorenzo works with the X-Men as often as possible, having grown proud of being a mutant through attending the school. He no longer has such debilitating anxiety attacks, but they do happen, especially if he is touched without consent, or if he must talk to somebody he isn’t familiar with. In the field, his anxiety isn’t a problem at all. With help from fellow mutants, he has since learned to focus his mind in battle, so that anxiety is rarely ever a major concern. In addition, he finds that being able to wear a helmet with his suit when out in the field lessens his anxiety as well, as his identity is unknown.

See More...

#Lorenzo Xavier-Bianchi #original character #bio #info post #enzo edit #รƭเɳɠε૨

[benito-cereno]

The Haunting of Netflix House 5: The Netflix Dimension

What’s up Octobocops, it’s Halloweason. Let’s get spooked. Here are some movies of the horror and horror-adjacent genres that you might watch by yourself or with a party of friends or with the spirit of a long-deceased duke who lives in inhabits your house. This is part five; you know the goddamn drill by now.

Previously, on The Haunting of Netflix House:

2013: The Haunting of Netflix House

2014: The Haunting of Netflix House 2: Your Sister is a Netflix

2015: The Haunting of Netflix House 3: The Season of the Netflix

2016: The Haunting of Netflix House 4: The Netflix Master

A couple of notes for those who are new to the list:

This is being posted on October 2, 2017. For humans of the future who find this, the links may not all be up to date. Some might even expire by November 2017. Click at your own risk.

I try to offer both breadth and depth of options on this list, but it is by no means exhaustive. I’m sorry if a favorite of yours got left off. There’s a chance I just haven’t seen it yet. Feel free to reblog and add some of your favorites, but please make sure a movie is actually currently available on Netflix before jumping my shit about some nonsense I “forgot,” please and thank you.

This list is based upon movies that are available on Netflix in the US. I have no idea what is streaming on Canadian Netflix or British Netflix or Slovenian Netflix. How would I know this. Why would I know this. Please do not expect me to know this. Feel free to be the Canadian/British/Slovenian Benito and make your own list applicable to your own countryhumans.

Horror movies, by their nature, have horrific things in them. Most of these movies are violent; lots of them deal with torture, abuse, and mental illness. If some element of this jumps out to me while I’m writing these up, I’ll mention them, but if you are sensitive to or have issues with certain types of content, you might look an individual movie up on Common Sense Media first to check for content warnings.

While there are always good horror movies to be found on Netflix, if you really like scary movies, you should just get a Shudder subscription (or even just the free trial!). It has an unbeatable, well-curated selection.

All right let’s get to the goddamn movies what say

Classics (this section seems to get smaller every year):

Jaws (this is about a shark)

The Fly (the Vincent Price version, not the Jeff Goldblum one)

Gremlins (technically a Christmas movie, obviously, but maybe you’re a rebel)

The Sixth Sense (is this a classic? I mean probably your mom has heard of it, so)

Horror Comedies:

Tucker & Dale vs. Evil (highly recommended)

Little Evil (new from the maker of Tucker and Dale; great cast; more than the Omen spoof it looks like; recommended)

Troll Hunter (not horror in the traditional sense; not a “Halloween” monster; found footage style; subtitled; awesome)

Young Frankenstein (maybe you’ve heard of this one)

The Host (subtitled; not a “Halloween” monster)

Ravenous (fucking rules)

Housebound (recommended)

Patchwork (in the vein of like Re-Animator and Frankenhooker)

Deathgasm (the best the best the best; watch immediately)

The Bar

Haunted House/Ghost shit:

The Awakening

The Pact (recommended)

The Babadook (highest possible recommendation; how have you not watched this yet)

Under the Shadow (recommended; basically the Iranian Babadook)

The Canal

We Are Still Here (Barbara Crampton is in this; her name will be mentioned a few more times on this list because she is apparently a major selling point for some people)

Last Shift (haunted police station; recommended)

The Legend of Hell House (love this one; love Roddy McDowall)

I Am The Pretty Thing That Lives in the House (very slow paced but atmospheric)

Coraline (yeah, the scary stop-motion one)

Vampire shit:

Stake Land (non-traditional vampire rules; not really my jam but some people love it; no idea if the sequel is good)

Byzantium

Night Watch

Werewolf shit:

Late Phases (old blind guy vs werewolves; pretty good)

When Animals Dream (hit some similar thematic notes to Ginger Snaps, but completely different tonally; subtitled)

Zombie shit:

Train to Busan (this rules; subtitled)

Witch/Demon/Pagan shit:

At the Devil’s Door (from the maker of The Pact; not as good, still interesting)

The Void (Lovecraftian cult shit; very cool visuals and practical effects)

Baskin (subtitled; super gory; also, the protags are asshole cops who tell transphobic stories and say homophobic slurs and talk about bestiality at the beginning, so heads up; worth a watch if that doesn’t bother you)

The Devil’s Candy

Hellions (this is not *great,* but it looks good and is heavily Halloweeny)

The Wailing (fucking amazing; subtitled)

Found footage shit:

V/H/S (lots of sex, violence, and sexualized violence

V/H/S/2 (same)

V/H/S Viral (same but in a different way)

The Den (ChatRoulette the horror movie; highly highly highly recommended)

Creep (recommended)

They’re Watching (not super amazing, but it’s wild af and I kind of love it; what if House Hunters International renovated a witch house?)

Man Vs (pretty okay)

Slasher shit (needless to say, these are gory):

Wes Craven’s New Nightmare

Curse of Chucky (way better than you think it is)

Clown (the haunted clown suit movie so good that Marvel said, “Yo, this guy should be in charge of Spider-Man”)

The Windmill (it’ll do fine if you’re just looking for a new slasher; tbf it is probably  the best windmill-themed slasher ever made though)

Other shit:

Monsters (really good; not “Halloween” monsters)

It Follows (hey, what’s up, it’s the best horror movie of the past decade; highest possible rec)

Sleepy Hollow (what section do Headless Horsemen go in? Dunno; the movie not the show)

The House at the End of Time (highly recommended; subtitled)

Honeymoon

Starry Eyes

White God (DOG REVENGE)

They Look Like People (this is a slow burn, but super highly recommended)

Extraordinary Tales (animated anthology of Edgar Allan Poe stories narrated by famous people; a mixed bag, but cool)

Darling (okay, so: this is a really beautiful and atmospheric film that I, generally speaking, recommend; however, it is kind of “artsy,” there is not a lot of dialogue, it is in black and white, there are some light strobing effects, rape does not occur on screen but is implied to have happened in a character’s past)

The Hallow (scary fairies)

Tales of Halloween (an anthology, so a mixed bag; okay overall, but it’s definitely Halloween-y)

The Invitation (highest possible recommendation)

Beyond the Gates (I actually did not like this very much, but some people might find it interesting, especially if you like--wait for it--Barbara Crampton)

Turbo Kid (this is not really horror, but if you like horror, especially splatter stuff, you will probably like it; it is good as shit)

Gerald’s Game (new shit from Mike Flanagan and it’s really great. Deals with lots of hard issues like abuse and such so maybe take a look at content issues if you are sensitive to that kind of stuff. Also definitely not for the squeamish, so head’s up. That said, it’s really really good)

80s/90s shit:

Hellraiser (not my style, but maybe you like this stuff, iunno)

Children of the Corn

The Craft

Non-Supernatural Thriller/Violence shit (these are violent):

Hush (Mike Flanagan directs; home invasion with a deaf woman protagonist; fucking rules)

The Silenced (haven’t actually watched this yet, but it looks good; don’t *think* it’s supernatural?; presumably subtitled)

The Eyes of My Mother (black and white; super bleak; beautiful and highly recommended)

Kristy

Dig Two Graves

We Need to Talk About Kevin (very bleak)

The Bad Batch (from the director of A Girl Walks Home Etc; only kind of horror-adjacent; Jason Momoa and Keanu Reeves are in this)

Sun Choke (visually beautiful but super art-housey, also lots of mental illness and abuse stuff in this one; also *Barbara Crampton*)

Zodiac (biography of Ted Cruz)

I Don’t Feel at Home in this World Anymore (so fucking good; very funny also)

Nightcrawler (basically a vampire movie, but with a camera instead of fangs)

Horror and Horror-Adjacent Documentaries (all the good horror docs got moved to Shudder):

The Nightmare (a doc on sleep paralysis and night terrors that is so-so as a documentary, but super effective as a horror film)

Witches: A Century of Murder (history of British witch trials, reenacted; two parts)

“But, Benito!” I hear you cry. “I don’t have Netflix for some reason! What about some other streaming services?” Yeah, all right. Here are some quick hits that are definitely not exhaustive. Just a couple of party jams you might enjoy if you’ve burned through the Netflix list.

What’s on Hulu though

10 Cloverfield Lane

Monster Squad

Fright Night (the original; a must watch if you haven’t seen it)

Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2

From Dusk Til Dawn

An American Werewolf in London

Hatchet

Pumpkinhead (check this one out if you haven’t seen it)

The Blob

I Saw the Devil (amazing)

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (either version)

Shaun of the Dead

The Loved Ones

Wolfcop

The Thing

Rigor Mortis

Borgman

The Descent

Bloodsucking Bastards

Willow Creek

Berberian Sound Studio

Plus a bunch of shit that’s also on Netflix

What about Amazon Prime you idiot

The Girl with All the Gifts

Them (not Them!)

The Witch

Hell House LLC

Neon Demon

Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Nosferatu

Green Room

Little Shop of Horrors (the Corman one, not the musical)

The Blackcoat’s Daughter

The Bay

Society

The Last Man on Earth

The Last Exorcism

What We Do in the Shadows

Amazon Prime is hard to navigate so that’s all. If I left off a favorite, it’s not because I don’t like it. It’s because it didn’t pop up in the first 20 pages of search results.

Tell me some good Shudder ones

The Innkeepers

A Tale of Two Sisters

The Gorgon

Lake Bodom

Prevenge

All the Phantasms (maybe not Ravager)

Shrew’s Nest

Noroi: The Curse

The House of the Devil

Black Sunday

Let the Right One In

Murder Party (highly recommended, esp for Halloween)

WNUF Halloween Special

Ghostwatch (play this at your party if you want to fucking win Halloween)

This list could be a million more entries long. Shudder rules.

What about Crackle/Vudu/YouTube/etc

Please shut up

As usual, please do me a solid and only circulate the current version of the list, so people aren’t clicking on dead links and thinking I’m an idiot. Again, this list is not and could not be completely exhaustive, and if I left off your favorite movie, I swear I was not targeting you personally. And, again, some of these movies are more interesting than they are good AND horror is a highly subjective experience, so your mileage may vary on some of these.

If you enjoyed this list, perhaps consider checking out some of my other Halloween-related posts:

a primer for spooky stories

a primer for Lovecraft specifically

a list of “essential” horror movies

a list of “essential” silent horror movies

a list of “essential” horror comedies

a list of suggested horror double features

a primer for Hammer horror

a list of cool movies starring Christopher Lee and Vincent Price

this list of resources, including short films and even more scary movies

a suggested Halloween playlist

a primer for spooky classical music

the scariest 20 minutes in radio history

free to play spooky games

and my general Halloween tag, which includes short films, movie trailers, comics, stories, and more

Also maybe consider checking out my Letterboxd profile, where I rate and review movies of all types (but primarily horror) all year long and from all sorts of sources, in case you’re wondering what’s good on more than just Netflix. Also also, maybe take a look at some of my comics, several of which are appropriate for Halloween times.

Happy Halloween, nerds!

#halloween #long post #netflix #horror movies #horror #hulu #amazon prime #shudder #the haunting of netflix house

[sardonicnihilism]

A Biography of the Woman Who Never Was

Part 3 The Young Adult

Chapter 30

Shannon and Sam sat on the hood of her car, looking out over the view. They were parked in a clearing overlooking the ridge of the mountains. It was approaching evening, and from where they sat, they could see the transition lines in the sky. Blue closet to the ground, golden bands of clouds sectioning off the layers of red, orange, and pink, hazy purple above that, and the blackened night sky crowning all of that. It was like looking at time itself. Bellow the sky lines, was a sea of green tree tops, stretching into the far horizon.

"Mate! This is gorgeous!" Sam said in awe.

"Don't you have views like this in Australia?" Shannon asked, somewhat amused and proud at the same time.

"Not where I'm from. We got the beach. But after awhile, all the sunsets look the same. This is something else."

"Well, I've never seen a beach sunset before, so it'd be new to me, but, yeah, this is pretty amazing." Shannon was pleased that this place was having the effect on him that she had been hoping for.

"How'd you ever find this place?"

"My one aunt lives over the ridge here. I saw it when I was driving past to visit one day. I come up here to think sometimes; clear my head. There's horse trails over there I sometimes walk in the daytime."

"Well thank you for sharing this with me. I'm unbelievably grateful and humbled."

They both continued to look out over the ridge and watch as the night sky slowly melted down over the other layers, taking them over.

Sam began to have a gnawing sensation in his conscience. He bowed his head and spoke softly. "You know, Dan warned me about you. He said you were a spooky girl. That you were dangerous."

Shannon just shrugged, never turning her gaze away from the horizon. "I'm not surprised. It's a reputation I got honestly. I'm not even sure I regret it. It has its advantages and disadvantages; like most things in life I suppose."

By now, Shannon was almost hypnotized by the night sky. It's infinite blackness called to her and her mental barriers started breaking down.

"I love horror. Horror novels, movies, short stories, I even read the reprints of the old EC horror comics. My favorite type of horror is cosmic horror.

"Cosmic horror is about how humans are an insignificant speck in an indifferent and even malevolent universe, controlled by things we couldn't possibly understand and would go insane if we tried."

Sam turned his head to Shannon. "Is that what you believe?" He asked worryingly.

Shannon shrugged again. "I'm a Christian. I believe that the universe was created by a just and loving god, who'll one day come down, make everything perfect, raise the dead, and we'll all live forever with perfect, beautiful bodies. At least I think so. That's what I tell myself. That's what I want to believe.

"Except, that's not what I see. How could a just and loving god sit back and watch His children die? Either by there or natural causes? Why would He create a reality with diseases, earthquakes, floods, and other natural disasters? How could He sit back and watch war, murder, rape?

"I was born the illegitimate offspring of an alcoholic mother from a one night stand. She was physically and emotionally abusive. One night, when I was about five, her boyfriend at the time, came into my room and molested me. Thanks to him, I knew what cum tasted like. I eventually went to live with my biological aunt who I call mom because she actually did the fucking job of raising me, but my sister remained with my birth mother.

"I was severely, morbidly obese for most of my life. I was picked on, hit, ostracized from all others. The only friend I had, used me and almost let me drown. Meanwhile, I lived with my grandmother who was quite literally insane. She pissed and shit in a bucket beside her bed. Sometimes I would wake up during the night and see her just looking in at me like some ghost.

"One time I tried to kill myself by slitting my wrists. When I got out of the hospital, my one uncle asked what I did. I told him. He asked how. I showed him the scars going across my wrists. He said, 'oh no, that's not how you do it. You got to cut down your forearm, not across '. I told him I'd try to remember that for next and he responded that he was just trying to help.

"I eventually got mixed up with a bunch of self proclaimed witches. They told me I was a natural witch. I started learning witchcraft underneath them. Then, one night, I did a vision quest ritual with them. They gave this sour, red liquid, and I had a vision where I was proclaimed the new Lilith and Shub Ni' gureth. Millions of horrible creatures tore out of my body, each becoming a new universe, because all universes are born of pain. Then what was left of me was devoured by Azathoth. When I woke up, I was terrified. I told them I didn't want to go any further, so they kicked me out.

"I tried to rededicate myself to my faith, but I started hearing voices and seeing things; shadows and specters, just outside my view. I started hearing other noises and things seemed to move on their own. I never feel alone. No matter where I am, it always feels like millions of eyes are looking at me, watching me, waiting to pounce.

"It got so bad, I started believing I was an angelic warrior and this was God testing me. I started carrying a dagger around with me everywhere. One night, I attacked my mother and almost killed a homeless man. I think. I can't be sure if he was real or not. All that right before I started school.

"When I started, everyone I met, I talked about witchcraft and demons too. I scared a lot of people. Traumatized a couple. So, yeah, I am a creepy girl. I'm still trying to find out about the book the coven used, 'The Book of Forgotten Nightmares'. So far, I can't find anything on it. I figure that's either because it doesn't exist or it's so obscure, no one knows about.

"And God sat back and saw all of that and did nothing to intervene. How could He do that? Why would he do that? Maybe because if He does exist, He's not benevolent. Maybe He's a sadist. Or maybe he doesn't exist at all. Maybe we all are just a dream in the mind of Azathoth and the most merciful thing he could do is wake up."

Shannon suddenly realized everything she had said and bowed her head in embarrassment. "Sorry. I guess I scared you off now."

To her surprise, Sam softly said, "No."

Shannon looked at him in shock and noticed that he, now, was too, looking off into the night horizon.

"Me dad was a drunk. He started out ok, owned his own business, only the occasional drink with the lads on the weekends. Then the business started to fail, he started drinking more, becoming violent. More so to mum than me sister and I, but we still got our share.

"Our next door neighbor, he had always been nice to me. I thought of him like a friend, like an uncle, hell, like a bloody father. One day, he says he has a bike for me in his house. I walk in, he shuts the door behind me, next thing I know, he's on me and then in me. Eventually he gets me to start bringing my sister over and he makes us 'perform' while he videos us for him and his pedo friends.

"One night, Dad gets extra wasted. Starts beating on all of us. Mum says she's had enough and tells him she's leaving with the kids. He goes, gets his shotgun, lines us up against the wall and says he's gonna kill us and himself. Mum says he might be evil enough to kill us but he's too chicken shit to pop himself and he's not man enough to survive prison. So he throws us out.

"We go to Mum's mum and dad's but they say that we're an embarrassment and she made her bed and now she had to lie in it. Luckily there was a women's shelter nearby and they took us in. We lived there for about a month before Mum found a job and a place to live. Never saw Dad again after that. I heard he got remarried and has a new family now. Good on him if he did, but I can't give a rat's ass about him.

"I had dreamed of being a professional dancer. Trained nearly all me life for it. Then, one day, I realized that if I ever did get famous, the tabloids would go digging and knowing that there's pictures and videos of me, out there, somewhere, being forced to rape my sister, I couldn't take the chance, and gave up on that dream."

Shannon just stared at Sam in horror. "So you know," she said slowly and methodically, watching her words carefully, "the world is a cruel and indifferent place, set up to destroy us and drive us insane. It truly is best to never have existed at all."

Sam suddenly spun around and looked at her in shock. "No! To the contrary. Life isn't fair but it's not unfair either. Life is just a series of physical and chemical reactions. Fairness is a human construct we try to impose on nature. But that's the thing, it's up to us to say what is fair, to hash it out, to make life fair for us.

"I don't regret being born. I'm glad I'm alive. Sure me life ain't be easy, but it hasn't been all bad. There's been a lot of good too. Even in the darkest night, there's still light. Life is a tapestry. Like all tapestries, there's light colors and dark, but all together, they form a beautiful picture. We just have to learn to appreciate it."

Shannon shook her head and smiled. "I don't know if I should hug you or punch you for being so wonderfully naive."

"Well, if I have choice, I know which one I'd pick, especially given those arms of yours."

Shannon laughed and said, You dork!", and laid her head on his shoulder.

"Not that's its my business, but what made you go this route?"

"What, the muscles? Well, like I said, I was morbidly obese as a kid. Larger muscles burn more calories. Also, it makes men think twice before trying anything. I mean, you could be 300 pounds of pure muscle, a black belt in every martial art, and a champion boxer, but if you're out cold because someone spiked your drink, it doesn't matter, but, still, they see how big I am, it causes them to think twice. The best way for prey to avoid a predator is to become one herself."

"Fair enough," Sam said and they both turned to look at the night sky.

For the first time in a long time, Shannon didn't just see the infinite darkness but the billions of stars within. Each one giving out unfathomable heat and light. Even with all that, they couldn't dispell the darkness but, each, in their own way causing it to retreat just a little bit and in the process, shine that much brighter.

It was then she thought about how far away those stars were - hundreds, thousands, millions of light years away. Surely some of those had burned out long ago; dead, yet their light still shone, going on forever. She started to fell like she was on the verge of a profound epiphany when she suddenly farted. A loud, long, rumbling fart.

Both Shannon and Sam started busting out laughing. Maybe in the end, the only true and appropriate response to the eternal infinite is just to let one rip and laugh your ass of about it. It's not like the universe is going to mind.

#dark #fiction #drama #queer stories #sad #slice of life

[workingonthevices]

The following is a list—well, paragraphs, actually—summarizing what we know about Robert in the game, with minimal editorializing from me. (There’s some. I tried to keep it down.) Just a list I want to keep handy, and it might be useful for those who haven’t played the game. To be updated as I remember things.

Robert is characterized as an aloof and emotionally distant person. He’s gruff, he hates small talk and prefers silence, and is generally off-putting. He’s described by many characters as very difficult to read, a closed book, and is described as often pretending he doesn’t have feelings. He discloses very little personal information about himself. He’s described as a “quiet man” and is not at all a talkative person. 

Vices, self-destructive tendencies, and other issues

Alcoholic, spends much of his time at the bar, particularly Jim and Kim’s. He has a long list of other vices and self-destructive tendencies, including smoking, using casual sex as a coping mechanism, minor infractions of the law including trespassing (sneaking into movie theaters) and vandalism (throwing rocks at things). He seems generally self-aware about his self-destructive tendencies and about how he’s losing the daily battle against them.

Struggles to perform many activities of daily living. It’s considered noteworthy if he took a shower, shaved, combed his hair, found properly cleaned clothes, ironed any of his clothes. His house is an absolute mess, littered with empty alcohol containers, cigarettes, clothes, and take-out containers. His truck is similar. In the middle of the game, Robert once disappeared for a week and contacted nobody because he had “been in a way”. Generally, this reads a lot like classic depression.

It is indicated that he attempted to get better before, and he failed to achieve any lasting progress. He suffers from a lot of self-loathing (more on that in the biography section), and he now believes that any attempt he makes to improve will be doomed to fail: “I know I’m just gonna fuck it up like I always do. I’m broken.” He seems to believe that he deserves the loneliness and suffering that comes his way.

In his good ending, he understands the depth of his issues and he chooses to put self-improvement over romantic relationships: “I have some stuff I need to work on... uh, emotionally... before I can get into anything romantic with you. You deserve better than who I am right now. I need to be on my own for a bit. Figure some things out.”

If you take the casual sex and booty call route, he tells you that he sees those relationships as one built on mutual objectification: “You were an object to me the same way I thought I was an object to you.”

Hobbies, interests, Betsy, and other positive miscellaneous things

Avid film lover. His says his favorite genre is Italian neorealism, and he likes Michael Powell and Samuel Fuller. He insists that one has to watch good cinema. He owns an extensive DVD collection.

Despite the fact that he derides mainstream cinema as drivel, he enjoys watching them, and he enjoys watching shows unanimously describes as trash; this indicates some sort of appreciation for media that isn’t the best quality and perhaps an acknowledgment that it has its place, while maintaining that it oughtn’t be one’s entire media diet. Sidebar, he really doesn’t want the season finale of Long Haul Paranormal Ice Truckers spoiled for him.

While he calls himself a skeptic, he believes in the existence of many cryptids and is often out at night hunting for them. He made up the story of the Dover Ghost, but after that scare on the overlook, he seems to have convinced himself it’s real.

Sense of humor largely relies on telling long, dramatic, often false bits about himself. Though, he often calls his own bluff after. Despite this, he seems to be truthful when talking about deeply personal and emotional information—on the rare occasions he feels pushed to talk about it at all.

Has a lot of places he likes to go to think, including the overlook outside of town and a particular spot a little ways into the woods. He jokes that he’s got a brooding quota.

He enjoys whittling, and he says that his hands are scarred from small accidents while whittling. He defends it as a long and time-honored tradition. When the MC is learning to whittle, Robert makes a comment that it’s alright to not know what one has whittled, with the implication that its the process and action itself that is.

He likes Santana and Tom Waits. He claims he carries at least four knives at all times. Prefers pineapple on pizza.

His drink of choice appears to be whiskey, but he doesn’t seem picky. He does like white zinfadel, which he describes as “fruity and refreshing” and asks the MC not judge him for it.

He owns a Boston terrier named Betsy, whom he lets pull him along when they go out for a walk. He cares enough about her diet to advise Damien and the MC against feeding her cheese as a snack. How and when he got Betsy is dubious; he says he simply picked her up and that she isn’t really “his”, but it’s likely a bit.

He drives a red pickup truck, “arguably the oldest pickup truck that can be legally driven”. He keeps a well-stocked first aid kit in it at all times.

He lives between the Christiansens and Damien, and his house is described by the MC as “amazing” and having “sleek, modern appliances throughout the [living] room”. 

Biography and family

Lived in Brooklyn, which he refers to as “back home”, presumably indicating that he was born and raised there.

He developed the drinking problem while he was living in New York. Moved to Maple Bay, Massachusetts with his wife, Marilyn. They had hoped a change in lifestyle would help Robert do better: “Marilyn and I moved out here to settle down—we thought it would help to get away from all the distractions, all the money... the drinking.” While Robert says he tried to “be better” he was unable to resist the temptation and failed.

The quote also implies that the Small family had money, and the lifestyle associated with at least some wealth served as a distraction to Robert.

Marilyn died in an accident, undisclosed but presumably a car accident. Robert believes that Marilyn died hating him.

Robert is estranged from his only child, Val, who still lives in Brooklyn and is a photographer for a new media digital magazine. She’s 24 or 25, Robert can’t remember, and he hasn’t seen her in four or five years. Robert says he always cared about her, but “things just... got in the way” and when she started college, she “want[ed] nothing to do with [him]”. Val similarly describes the relationship, saying that he was neglectful for decades. By the time Robert moved to Maple Bay, Marilyn was the only tie between them, and that disappeared with Marilyn’s death. Robert believes that Val hates him, and when she comes up to Massachusetts to “patch things up”, he doesn’t understand why Val would bother.

Robert describes himself as having “spent so much time chasing after things [he] thought were gonna make [him] happy that [he] ruined [his] only real chance at happiness”.

His relationship with his own father is estranged. They had a falling out, though Robert doesn’t remember what over. “All I know is that me and him, we just don’t see eye to eye. I mind my business, he minds his. I get a Christmas card from him every other year and I check in with him if a tropical storm ever hits his villa.” Robert’s father lives with his girlfriend in Florida, and Robert seems sure his father is content. Though it’s part of a long bit, there’s a possibility Robert is afraid that “history is doomed to repeat itself”, ymmv.

Other relationships

Robert describes Maple Bay as a good town with good neighbors, though he says not all of them are good people. He’s certainly referring to Joseph.

He is good friends with Mary, and the pair of them spend much of their time at the bar together. Robert appears protective of Mary to an extent: he gets annoyed when the MC is callous toward her. By the same token, he often tells Mary to soften up her sharpness around the MC, and is arguably a tempering force against her humor sometimes (ymmv). Mary is able to pick up on subtle cues indicating Robert is not feeling emotionally well, ones invisible to others like the MC, and she expresses concern for him and asks the MC look after Robert when he’s out of her sight.

Joseph had an affair on Mary with Robert. Because of his experience with Joseph, Robert describes Joseph as a bad person who will stab others in the back when called on it. Joseph says that the affair was a single day thing, “ended the same day it began”, and attributes Robert’s animosity to the “Robert politics” of casual sex. There is a photograph of Robert and Joseph on Joseph’s yacht, in which Robert is wearing Joseph’s sweater; this throws some doubt on Joseph’s version of events. Mary knows about this affair, and despite it, remains close friends with Robert.

#Out Hunting (OOC).

[visitationrpg]

Congratulations, LOTTIE! You have been accepted for the role of Sofia Dixon. You have 24 HOURS to send in your account, and don’t forget to look over the CHECKLIST!

Note from Admin Sidney: This app was really one of my favorites, Lottie! Sofia has always been my baby, and I was really excited to see this vague idea of a girl surrounded by things she’s supposed to be, but still, she chooses her own path. And you understood that so well. I’m so excited to see her on the dash!

Welcome to Visitation!

OUT OF CHARACTER:

NAME/ALIAS: Lottie

PRONOUNS: she/her/they/them

AGE: 23

TIMEZONE: Eastern

ANYTHING ELSE? One time, [REDACTED] told me she had a [REDACTED] [REDACTED]

IN CHARACTER:

WANTED SKELETON: Sofia Dixon

GENDER & PRONOUNS: cis woman, she/her  

BIOGRAPHY:

Everything that anyone thinks they know about Sofia Dixon can be summed up by a couple of sentences and a few citations on her mother’s Wikipedia page. Her whole family history is spelled out there in unfeeling black and white. This is where her mother was born, these are her mother’s parents, this is where her mother went to school. This is when she signed her first record label. This is when she received a Grammy. And then, tragically, abruptly, this is how she died. “Debbie Dixon,” the page reads near the end, “died on November 15, 1995 at the age of 27, due to complications during labor and after giving birth to her only daughter.” Above all that there is a list of accomplishments, a series of various awards, a picture of Debbie Dixon smiling, radiating a kind of demure happiness that Sofia has only ever been able to find the shadow of when she looks in a mirror.

In comparison, Sofia’s own Wikipedia page features very little information, stating only that she currently attends Reed College where she helps produce a low budget youtube series by the name of Visitation. She also has her own channel with a modest following where she’ll post the occasional remix or mashup, but the channel isn’t associated with her real name. There are no accomplishments listed, there are no awards. There is no picture where she smiles like she is exactly where she wants to be. Since her mother’s death 23 years ago, the media has largely turned its eyes away from the Dixon family, especially when, as she grew older, Sofia never showed any interest in following up her mother’s legacy. Now, only Debbie Dixon’s most committed fans recognize who Sofia is. This is how Sofia would prefer it to remain.

Similarly, her father has always been a reserved, if not a very sweet and gentle, sort of man. He was never made to shine like Debbie was, more to reflect the warmth and light of those around him. After his wife’s death, he would have gone as dim and hollow as a used-up lightbulb if it weren’t for the fact that he was tasked with raising Sofia on his own. It was a close thing too, though not many outside the family know of this fact. When Debbie was in her hospital bed, already fading, Sofia came into the world quiet, her lungs filled with liquid. It was then that Sofia’s father learned the terrifying nature of silence, and even years later, when the danger had passed, he never did feel comfortable in the stillness of quiet moments. Sofia grew up in a house filled with music, with her mother’s voice crooning through the echoing halls. Throughout Sofia’s childhood her mother was a presence made up of the aching absence she had left behind, and to this day, Sofia can’t help but resent the distorted facsimile of her mother that the world pushes on her, demanding that she replicate Debbie Dixon’s nostalgia. It’s why she keeps any time in front of a camera to a minimum when she’s working on Visitation. The one hope that she has for the project is that it become so big, that when people associate her with anything it will be this, something so removed from her mother’s work that people will finally stop comparing her to a woman she’s never even met.  

ANYTHING ELSE? This section is optional, but feel free to put any extra headcanons or writing/musing here!

-          The monolith of her mother’s shadow means that Sofia has never been one to sing in public. She avoids the very idea of it, though that never stopped well-meaning teachers and tutors pushing her to join school choirs or attend talent shows. Even her father encouraged it until he saw how miserable the prospect made her, then he’d get that sad, longing look in his eyes that never really fully receded, and Sofia would feel the bitter guilt weigh heavy on her shoulders. He’d say he wasn’t disappointed, that he just wanted her to be happy—and maybe that was partially true—but what he really wanted, she was sure, was a daughter who could shine in the exact same way as her mother did, so that he could know part of her lived on. But Sofia can’t stand the thought of being a symbol or a vehicle for her dead mother’s memory. She just wants to be Sofia. And even still, when she’s alone, she’ll start to hum, and a feeling in her chest will grow, like some wild animal trying to escape a cage, and the voice that leaves her throat frightens her because it sounds like someone else’s.

-          Thea was a distraction at first, someone that Sofia could get lost in because she was so unlike anyone she’d ever met before. Well, really, she’d met people like Thea before, but she was the first one Sofia had actually gotten to know instead of immediately dismissing her as a shallow socialite. Growing up the daughter to a famous musician, Sofia had had her fair share of encounters with spoiled kids who had their parents’ credit card numbers memorized, and Sofia had never imagined there’d come a day when she’d fall in love with one. She also never imagined that she’d be the one left feeling fractured and incomplete, crying openly under a mountain of blankets in her bedroom, by the end of their relationship, but life is apparently filled with surprises.

-  

       Also, here’s a shitty youtube playlist I threw together of songs Sofia probably likes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWigCggVv2Y&list=PLaZ8O2c-5vTo9YC2TeC8LrimzzNwBTw2U

QUESTIONNAIRE:

DO YOU BELIEVE IN THE PARANORMAL?

She sighed, running a hand through her hair and looking off to the side. “When I was a kid, my dad used to… coincidentally find himself in the company of a lot of people who claimed to be psychics.” Her tone made it clear that whatever circumstances her father had found himself in with these people, she didn’t believe any of it had been coincidence. “He’d come home, and he’d be crying because they’d say things about how my mom was still here, in her own way, and that she loved him. One woman even claimed my mom was standing right behind him.” She paused. Her lips turned pale and thin as she pressed them together. “After that, when he thought I wasn’t there, I’d hear him talking to her. Having whole conversations with her.” A harsh breath suddenly left her as if it had been punched out of her and she laughed, shaking her head. “He never moved on. Never even tried to. I guess some people think that’s romantic. But the truth is, no one ever let him move on. All these psychics came to him and played on a weakness they could exploit until all he could think about was her ghost following him around.”

Finally, she turned back to stare directly at the question asker. “I’ll be honest, I don’t know if ghosts exist or not. Science usually has a pretty hard time proving a negative. But I do know the culture surrounding the paranormal is filled with exploitative bullshit, and if I have a chance to shed some light on that, then I will.”

HAVE YOU EVER HAD A PARANORMAL ENCOUNTER?

Sofia closes her eyes, remembers the feeling in her chest that fills her when she sings, like something reaching out of the chasm in her rib cage, sliding up her throat, trying to make itself known. She remembers that even though she is always alone when she sings, she never feels like the room is empty.

Sofia opens her eyes. “Not personally, no.”

IF YES, DID SAID ENCOUNTER CHANGE YOUR VIEWS ON THE PARANORMAL?

“Sometimes when I look at you, it feels like she’s staring back at me,” her father says, smiling from the driver’s side of the car. He isn’t looking at her now, which is a small mercy. He stares ahead of them at the forever-distant skyline. Sofia feels like she’s going to be sick, pretends it’s brought on by long hours on the road.

“But she’s not,” Sofia mutters back, tries to make herself sink into the passenger seat.

“There’s so much of her in you,” he insists. Sofia reaches down and pulls the lever that makes her seat go all the way back so that she’s staring up at the roof of the car.

“I’m taking a nap.” The rest of the trip is blissfully quiet except for the radio that plays no louder than a whisper.

IF NO, WHY NOT?

“Sometimes I feel like you hate her.” They’re in the kitchen, making dinner, and the smile falls off Sofia’s face, like it always does when her father tries to have this conversation with her.

“I don’t.” Her tone is crisp, clipped. She turns her back to him and goes back to stirring the sauce.

“She would have—” He stops himself. She can hear the emotion welling in his throat. An icy, numb feeling starts to spread throughout Sofia’s body. “She loves you so much. She wanted to be here to see you grow up.”

“Dad,” the word is spoken like a plea. How many times will they say these words before it’s enough? When are they allowed to be people separated from the tragedy of Debbie Dixon?

“I wish you’d known her.” He is so quiet now.

“Yeah.” She sighs. “Me too.”

The ghost of her mother lingers, never so far out of reach as to be ignored.

[hollywoodages-blog]

Marion Cotillard Height Weight Measurements

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Marion Cotillard Height Weight Measurements

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Marion Cotillard Biography

Marion Cotillard conceived 30 September 1975 is a French performing artist, artist lyricist, artist, naturalist and representative for Greenpeace who accomplished worldwide distinction with the film La Vie en Rose (2007). She is the beneficiary of an Academy Award, a BAFTA Award, a Golden Globe Award, two César Awards, an European Award, and a Lumières Award. Cotillard has showed up in more than 50 highlight films and is likewise known for being the substance of Lady Dior purses since 2008. She turned into a Knight of the Order of Arts and Letters in France in 2010 and elevated to Officer in 2016. Was named “The Most Bankable French Actress of the 21st Century” in 2014, and depicted as “the colossal quiet film on-screen character of our opportunity” by Robbie Collin of The Daily Telegraph for her capacity to demonstrate feelings just with her eyes and outward appearances, in spite of the fact that she has never showed up in a noiseless film. She got France’s most elevated respect and was made a Knight of the Legion of Honor in 2016. Cotillard had her first English-dialect part in the TV arrangement Highlander in 1993, influenced her film to make a big appearance in The Story of a Boy Who Wanted to Be Kissed (1994), her initially driving part in the TV film Chloé (1996), and made her leap forward in France playing Lilly Bertineau in the activity comic drama Taxi (1998), which earned her a César Award assignment for Most Promising Actress and was her initially film industry hit. She influenced her Hollywood presentation as Joséphine To sprout in Tim Burton’s Big Fish (2003). Since 2003, Cotillard has exchanged amongst French and English-dialect parts in standard and workmanship house creations, and has gotten universal praise and honors for her exhibitions in movies, for example, Tina Lombardi in A Very Long Engagement (2004), for which she won her first César Award for Best Supporting Actress. For her depiction of the French vocalist Édith Piaf in the biopic La Vie en Rose (2007), Cotillard accomplished overall acknowledgment and won her second César Award, a BAFTA Award, a Golden Globe Award, a Lumières Award and the Academy Award for Best Actress, turning into the first and (starting at 2017) just performer to win an Academy Award for an execution in French, and furthermore the second on-screen character and one of just six on-screen characters to have won this honor for a section talked in a remote dialect. Her execution of Luisa Contini in the melodic film Nine (2009), earned her a moment Golden Globe selection. She next featured in Michael Mann’s Public Enemies (2009) as Billie Frechette, and played Mal in Christopher Nolan’s Inception (2010). In 2012, she got boundless basic recognition for her execution as the twofold amputee orca mentor Stéphanie in Rust and Bone (2012), and was designated for the Golden Globes, BAFTAs, Critics’ Choice, Screen Actors Guild and the César Awards. She was very acclaimed and granted for her lead exhibitions in The Immigrant (2013) and Two Days, One Night (2014), accepting a moment Academy Award designation for Best Actress for the last mentioned, which was likewise her second selection for a French-dialect film and the first run through a performing artist was assigned for a Belgian film. Cotillard wound up plainly one of just six on-screen characters to get numerous Academy Award assignments for remote dialect exhibitions. Cotillard played Joan of Arc in front of an audience in various nations in the vicinity of 2005 and 2015 in the oratorio Jeanne d’Arc au bûcher. Her English-dialect parts incorporate Fanny Chenal in A Good Year (2006), Adriana in Midnight in Paris (2011), Dr. Leonora Orantes in Contagion (2011), Miranda Tate in The Dark Knight Rises (2012), Lady Macbeth in Macbeth (2015), Marianne Beausejour in Allied (2016) and Dr. Sofia Rikkin in Assassin’s Creed (2016). She gave voice acting to enlivened movies as The Rose in The Little Prince (2015), April in April and the Extraordinary World (2015) and Scarlet Overkill in the French rendition of Minions (2015). Her other prominent French and Belgian movies incorporate La Belle Verte (1996), Furia (1999), War in the Highlands (1999), Lisa (2001), Pretty Things (2001), Love Me If You Dare (2003), Innocence (2004), Toi et Moi (2006) and Dikkenek (2006). Cotillard was conceived in Paris, and grew up around Orléans, in an aesthetically slanted, “clamoring, inventive family unit”. Her dad, Jean-Claude Cotillard, is a performing artist, educator, previous emulate, and 2006 Molière Award-winning chief, of Breton drop. Cotillard’s mom, Niseema Theillaud, who has Kabyle family line, is additionally an on-screen character and show instructor. Her two more youthful siblings, Quentin and Guillaume, are twins. Guillaume is a screenwriter and executive. Cotillard started acting amid her adolescence, showing up in one of her dad’s plays. In the late 90s, Cotillard was involved with French on-screen character Julien Rassam. She had a long haul association with French performer Stéphan Guérin-Tillié from 2000 to 2005. They co-featured in the short movies Quelques jours de trop (2000) and Heureuse (2001), in the 2001 TV arrangement Les redoutables, and in the 2005 component films Cavalcade and Edy. She dated French vocalist Sinclair from 2005 to 2007. Since October 2007, Cotillard has been involved with French performer and executive Guillaume Canet. They had been companions since 1997, and co-featured together out of the blue years after the fact in the 2003 film Love Me If You Dare. Regardless of regular misguided judgment, the couple are not hitched. In spite of the fact that since 2010 Cotillard has been spotted wearing a jewel solitaire on her left hand – a present from Canet – they are not locked in either. In 2014, Cotillard denied being hitched to Canet, rather alluding to him as “my beau” in interviews. In 2011 they had their first youngster, a child, and in 2017 their second tyke, a girl was conceived.

Marion Cotillard Personal Info.

Full Name: Marion Cotillard

Nick Name: Marion

Family Members: Niseema Theillaud (Father) Quentin Cotillard (Brother) Guillaume Cotillard (Brother) Laurent Cotillard (Cousin)

Education: Her educational background is not known.

Date of Birth: 30th September, 1975

Birthplace: Paris, France

Zodiac Sign: Libra

Religion: non-religious

Ethnicity: White

Nationality: French

Profession: Actress, Model, Environmentalist, Voice Actor, Singer-songwriter, Spokesperson, Activist

Measurements: 35-24-34 in or 89-61-87 cm

Bra Size: 32C

Height: 5′ 6″ (168 cm)

Weight: 126lbs (57 kg)

Eye Color: Blue

Hair Color: Dark Brown

Dress Size: 2

Shoe Size: 7

Boyfriend/Dating History: Guillaume Canet (2007-Present) – Marion is as of now dating French on-screen character and executive, Guillaume since 2007. In any case, they met on the arrangement of 2003 motion picture Love Me If You Dare out of the blue. The couple don’t share their news about being as one to the media. Be that as it may, they are seen together every now and again shopping. They are living respectively and have brought forth their first youngster, a child named Marcel, which they declared on May 20, 2011. Johnny Depp (2008) – RUMOR

Known For: La Vie en Rose, Incepted, Rust and Bone

Active Year: 1993 (present)

Friend: Cécile Cassel (actress), Mélanie Laurent (actress), Élodie Navarre (actress), Kate Winslet (actress), Matthias Schoenaerts (actor)

Associated People: Hylda Queally (agent)

Favorite People: Will Ferrel (actor), Kate Winslet (actress), Maryl Streep (Fashion Idol), Toni Collette (Fashion Idol)

Favorite Bands: Radiohead, David Bowie, Elvis Presley

Favorite Accessories: Lady Dior Handbags

Instagram

Filmography

Year Title 1994 The Story of a Boy Who Wanted to Be Kissed 1996 My Sex Life… or How I Got into an Argument 1996 La Belle Verte 1998 Taxi 1999 War in the Highlands 1999 Furia 1999 Blue Away to America 2000 Taxi 2 2001 Lisa 2001 Pretty Things 2002 A Private Affair 2003 Taxi 3 2003 Love Me If You Dare 2003 Big Fish 2004 Innocence 2004 A Very Long Engagement 2005 Cavalcade 2005 Love Is in the Air 2005 Mary 2005 Burnt Out 2005 The Black Box 2005 Edy 2006 Toi et moi 2006 Dikkenek 2006 Fair Play 2006 A Good Year 2007 La Vie en rose 2009 Public Enemies 2009 The Last Flight 2009 Nine 2010 Inception 2010 Little White Lies 2011 Midnight in Paris 2011 Contagion 2012 Rust and Bone 2012 The Dark Knight Rises 2013 The Immigrant 2013 Blood Ties 2013 Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues 2014 Two Days, One Night 2015 Macbeth 2016 It’s Only the End of the World 2016 From the Land of the Moon 2016 Allied 2016 Assassin’s Creed 2017 Rock’n Roll 2017 Ismael’s Ghosts

1995 Snuff Movie 1996 Insalata Mista 1997 Affaire classée 1997 La sentence 1998 La surface de réparation 1999 L’appel de la cave 2000 Quelques jours de trop 2000 Le marquis 2001 Heureuse 2001 Boomer 2008 Lady Noire Affair 2010 Lady Rouge 2010 Lady Blue Shanghai 2011 Lady Grey London 2011 L.A.dy Dior

Television

Year Title 1993 Étude sur le Mouvement 1993 Highlander 1994 Extrême Limite 1996 Théo la tendresse 1996 Chloé 1996 L’@mour est à réinventer 1998 Interdit de Vieillir 2001 Les Redoutables 2001 Une femme piégée (aka Vertigo: A Woman in Danger) 2005 Une américaine à Paris 2008 Génération duo 2013 Le Débarquement 2014 Comedy Central’s All-Star Non-Denominational Christmas Special 2015 Castings

See Also: Doutzen Kroes Body Measurements

Search Terms: Marion Cotillard Height Weight

Marion Cotillard Age. Marion Cotillard And Husband. Marion Cotillard And Family. Marion Cotillard Best Movies. Marion Cotillard Birthday. Marion Cotillard Biography. Marion Cotillard Bio. Marion Cotillard Dress. Marion Cotillard Eyes. Marion Cotillard Eye Color. Marion Cotillard Facebook. Marion Cotillard Films. Marion Cotillard Family. Marion Cotillard French. Marion Cotillard Husband. Marion Cotillard Horoscope. Marion Cotillard Latest Movie. Marion Cotillard Movies. Marion Cotillard Movies List. Marion Cotillard Married. Marion Cotillard Mother. Marion Cotillard Movies 2017. Marion Cotillard New Movie. Marion Cotillard Natural Hair. Marion Cotillard Profession. Marion Cotillard Partner. Marion Cotillard Parents. Marion Cotillard Profile. Marion Cotillard Recent Movies. Marion Cotillard Relationships. Marion Cotillard Son. Marion Cotillard Spouse. Marion Cotillard Twitter. Marion Cotillard Top Movies. Marion Cotillard Tv Series. Marion Cotillard Upcoming Movies. Marion Cotillard Wiki. Marion Cotillard Wedding. Marion Cotillard Zodiac.

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[thirst-days]

Nasi goreng with hot dogs

thirstDays No. 11 Eat Rice Yet?

When I was a kid I was allergic to wheat and dairy. In those days, words like “gluten free” were definitely not found on all manner of food packaging or in a dedicated section of the grocery store like they are now. Being a kid, my fondness of vegetables was also limited. So I ate a lot of meat and I happened to absolutely love it. Every Halloween my Opa would give me a dried sausage that I would savour for weeks, taking it out of the fridge every day and delicately nibbling away at it. In any case, my mother had her work cut out for her when it came to getting vegetables in my mouth — even more so because dinner time was my bad temper’s golden hour.

One solution whose flavour has stuck on my tongue was nasi goreng, or “fried rice.” Being from a Dutch family on my mother’s side, Indonesian food was common, a lasting connection to the Netherland’s colonial ties with that country. An amalgam of leftovers with fried rice wrapped in a warm smoky flavour, the nasi goreng of my childhood involved cut pieces of hot dog and frozen peas. I would help my mother or watch as she moved the rice around our heavy yellow wok. Red flecks of chilli. Bright and happy green peas. A bubbling pot of wieners. My mother humming, singing and whistling as she moves about the house, opening the windows to air the smell from the kitchen.

As an adult I introduced nasi goreng to the man who is now my husband, though without the hot dogs and with a great deal more sambal, a chilli sauce that I always have on hand in our house.

Eat Rice Yet? curated by Henry Tsang and Diyan Achjadi, was tightly organized around the smells, tastes, sights and memories of food and drink. The experience of food, of sharing a meal, which has been present to varying degrees in all of the thirstDays events, was here given its full due, allowing the cross-cultural, familial, political, and spiritual nature of food to come to fruition—a rich and complex broth simmering under attentive eyes. I kept thinking about the entirety of the event as a recipe in itself, with all the flavours of sake, horchata and kimbap enriched and accented by the presentation of video, story and song. The star, of course, was rice, taking centre stage with humble grace and gravity as a meal in itself, a side dish, a carrier of delicious sauces, a container for fish and vegetables, full of potential. Each presentation of the evening enriched the appreciation of rice in itself and illuminated profound connections and separations between us. Rice was an active agent within this, a proposition for new understandings.

Michael Rakowitz’s Dar Al Sulh (Domain of Conciliation) (2013) began the evening with the words, “You know it really is a pity how we treat each other now. I know you can’t forgive me but forgive me anyhow?”1 A video document of the restaurant project that operated in Dubai for one week and served Iraqi-Jewish cuisine, Dar Al Sulh refers to a legal territory or domain in which an agreement between Muslims and non-Muslims ensures the freedom of religion, autonomy and protection for all. The project stems from Rakowitz’s ongoing Enemy Kitchen (2003-) where he teaches participants to cook recipes compiled with his Iraqi-Jewish mother, creating the conditions for a discussion of Iraqi culture in America that moves beyond media portrayals. Similarly, Dar Al Sulh presents possibilities for the representation and interaction of Iraqi and Jewish culture in the wake of Jewish exodus from Arab lands in the 1940s. Serving platters sourced from antiques dealers in Israel that survived the journey of the Iraqi Jews out of Iraq, parallel the preciousness of the cuisine served as both the recipes themselves and the Iraqi Jewish Arabic language are under threat of being lost. “You are eating a dying language from the plate of a ghost,” words adorning the window of the restaurant, remind visitors of the implications of the experience they are having despite the conviviality of it all.

Following the screening, Meeru Dhalwala, co-owner of Vij’s and Rangoli in Vancouver, gave a talk—”A Grain of Rice, a Pot of Rice”—about opening a restaurant in Seattle: Shanik. She attracted female staff who were immigrants and refugees from India, Ethiopia and Eritrea by visiting convenience stores and Walmarts and “greeting people who looked Indian,” advertising a safe place for women to work. What was immediately evident in Dhalwala’s talk was a sense of humour and honesty that comes from the practical realities of running a kitchen. She described the restaurant as a “cultural mess,” divided along ethnic lines with caucasian front-of-house staff, Indian cook staff, and Ethiopian and Eritrean cleaning staff. In rapid fire she discussed the many differences that kept these women separated: not speaking the same language, differences in religious beliefs, and dietary practices.

It was a slow and difficult process to bring these women together. The cuisines of their home countries share some common spices, so they learned the names of these in each other’s languages to break down barriers in communication. It wasn’t enough. One day, however, Dhalwala was cooking a simple rice pilaf with basmati, red bell peppers, yellow bell peppers, turmeric, cilantro, jalapeño, and toasted cumin. It was a meal that everyone in the kitchen could eat, and they enjoyed it so much that they began to sharing it around the same table, even enticing the front of house staff to join in. The conditions for conversation were set and the kitchen staff had an unexpected (at least for the audience, perhaps) moment of bonding when Dhalwala casually asked one of the staff, who was Eritrean, if she would be interested in Oguz Istif, Dhalwala’s partner in the restaurant. This sent the entire kitchen staff into a disapproving frenzy because of Istif’s Muslim heritage. Dhalwala’s frankness about this experience of bonding over a shared discrimination against another had the audience laughing together. It was totally unidealized, stemming from long seated prejudices as well as the continued conditions of separation experienced by many immigrants and refugees in the United States as well as Canada. Despite this, their distance was lessened in the simple act of sharing rice. As she spoke, we were fed small cups of rice from Vij’s and shared in the retelling of this story.

First Intermission: I drink a cup of sake and eat kimbap, a Korean seaweed rice roll (or three).

The second act began with a meditative video work by Chee Wang Ng, 108 Global Rice Bowl (2008). The object of meditation is a rotation of white rice in white bowls, varied in shape and size, and shot against a cool grey background. A pair of pine-coloured chopsticks are laid in front, creating a diagonal line that moves off to the right of the screen. The composition is carefully considered. Each well rounded mound of rice is proportionate to its vessel. With each new bowl of rice, a chime sounds—similarly varied in its tone and pitch—and a different country is inserted into the phrase “Made in _____.” China and Japan make multiple appearances along with Canada, Thailand, Vietnam, France and many others. The 108 tones correspond to the number of beads in a Buddhist rosary, aligning the path to enlightenment, or the repetition of a powerful mantra, with the simple grace of rice. The connectivity between places of vast geographical distance is also brought to bare in the repetition of this similar image and object of contemplation, speaking to the movement of bodies and goods that transcend borders.

The video brought the audience to quiet attention and, at least for me, back into my sensing body. Fred Wah’s reading then promptly whisked me away again, and the distinction between the simplicity of Wang Ng’s video and the complex and vivid imagery of Wah’s stories (and the attendant differences between watching and listening) deeply enriched the experience of both works. Wah read from Diamond Grill (1996), a semi-fictional biography about growing up in his father’s restaurant in Nelson, as well as reading some newer material. I have never read Wah’s work before and was enraptured by his descriptions that brought memory and taste so close together that the two became indistinguishable. The selections were part recipe, part biography, observing the life of the town as much as the way the hand remembers the rhythm of cooking, rhythm that Wah brought to life again in words. The final note I wrote while listening to Wah was “the palpable flavour of words.”

I sat that with over the second intermission where I tried a different kind of sake and shared a cigarette in the cold December night.

As I came back in and got another cup of sake, Vanessa Richards took the stage. A Dark Welcome Table: Songs for Grace in Action was a multimedia and layered narrative told primarily from the perspective of a young black girl of Jamaican descent living in Vancouver in the era of the Vietnam War. It was a story about wrong names: about grapes and raisins and techniques for eating rice pudding; about being chased home from school by a white kid who kicked and spit on her door; about Phillis, the young Squamish “Indian” girl, and the story of the two sisters, the mountain peaks that are called Lions even though the narrator thinks they look more like tiger ears. This was the same story told by Mohawk writer E. Pauline Johnson in Legends of Vancouver (1911)2 but inflected with the energy of a shared tale between two young friends. As Phillis explained, the Squamish “let the Haida know they weren’t mad anymore,” allowing peace to come between the two great nations, which led to the creator placing the sisters on the highest mountain range at the end of their life so that we could continue to look upon them and feel peaceful. Richards broke out into song: “heartbeat, it’s a love beat.”3

She told us about an older boy, Adam, who looked like Muhammad Ali. “No Viet Cong ever called me a nigger.” She thought that Adam might knock out that white boy just like Ali, and wondered if Adam and Ali could stop the big war. A video a Ali is projected on the wall: “I’m gunna float like a butterfly and sting like a bee. George can’t hit what his hands can’t see!”4

Finally, Richards was joined by Anna Baignoche on guitar and they sang “Children of Darkness” by Richard & Mimi Fariña (1965), standing in front of a wall drawing of the two sisters, their peaks simply outlined in black with a few m-shaped birds flying in the sky. “Now is a time for your loving dear, and a time for your company. … And now in this age of confusion, I have need for rice pudding!”

Following this enrapturing performance, Hank Williams’ “Jambalaya (On the Bayou)” came on—which is my favourite Williams’ tune—and we all gathered around a table of rice dishes: Nasi Uduk with sweet coconut, Nasi Kuning with savoury turmeric. I drank a final cup of sake, this time from the Fraser Valley where the fertile soil supports rice agriculture, and talked with Henry about my memories of eating Nasi Goreng. I left buzzing on sake and the deep warmth that the sharing of food threads throughout all of history.

Notes 1. Leonard Cohen, “Anyhow,” Old Ideas, 2012. 2. http://digital.library.upenn.edu/women/johnson/vancouver/vancouver-01.html 3. “Heartbeat, it’s a Lovebeat,” The DeFranco Family, 1973. 4. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXzQqqn-rVc

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Tarah Hogue is a curator and writer of Dutch, French and Métis ancestry originally from the Prairies. She is Curator with grunt gallery since 2014 and is the 2016 Audain Aboriginal Curatorial Fellow with the Art Gallery of Greater Victoria. She is currently working on #callresponse with Maria Hupfield and Tania Willard along with invited artists Christi Belcourt, Ursula Johnson, and Laakkuluk Williamson-Bathory. She recently curated Unsettled Sites, a group exhibition with Marian Penner Bancroft, Wanda Nanibush and Tania Willard at SFU Gallery. In 2009 she co-founded the Gam Gallery. She has written texts for Canadian Art, Decoy Magazine, Inuit Art Quarterly, MICE Magazine, and others.

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