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#and im tryna sleep in my room again
ranmao · 9 months
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vegetarian level: carefully carried the 3cm long cockroach outside with a glass and paper
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nerdie-faerie · 1 year
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What an awful way to start my Saturday
#personal#ace is a mess#Tag talk#im so annoyed was gonna spend the day in a bookshop reading and then work on my writing as well was gonna be so good but instead#wake up to my period showing up early with worse cramps than usual. alarm hasnt even gone off yet but no way can i sleep#whatever its hair washing day anyway might as well just get straight in the shower. can barely stand to brush my teeth im in so much pain#so i just take some ibuprofen and go to shower which was a stupid idea 1 cus im hypoglycemic 2 apparently ibuprofen can irritate your#stomach which i did not know beforehand#its fine at first the hot water is helping with the cramps somewhat while im waiting on the painkillers but i start feeling lightheaded#while trying to wash my shampoo out and the hot water is actually making the feeling worse so im trying to rinse in short bursts#but of course then my vision gets fuzzy so i stop tryna rinse my hair and just breath through but nope. im gonna pass out#which im absolutely not allowing in a communal shower turn the shower off and sit down tryna breath through it again. really regretting not#eating at this point especially as im starting to feel nauseous which i always get whrn#when i havent eaten. after a couple of minutes start to feel clearer but my cramps are getting impossible to ignore again#i still havent eaten and have shampo still in my hair and im just gonna keep feeling worse until i eat so just need to hurry up and finish#turn the shower down so its almost lukewarm so it hopefully doesnt happen again. get all the shampoo out and get the conditioner on#when the nausea comes back full force and im not sure if its just cus im hungry now or if im actually gonna throw up#turn the shower off and get out and oh of course yep this is the time that im throwing up but theres no food in my stomach just bile#speed through the rest of my shower and get back to my room to text my mum letting her know im fine but will the painkillers still#work if ive since thrown up. she calls me asking if i was taking them for a hangover while im sorting out breakfast then explains#that yeah ibuprofen can make you throw up cus its irritating to your stomach particularly on an empty stomach but cus i took#them on an empty stomach at least half a dose shouldve gotten into my bloodstream first if not more she then asked if i was close enough#with any of my flatmates to ask them to go out and get chocolate for me when i said i didnt have any in nor any hot water bottles which#im not close with any of them and i dont fancy asking flatmates for favours when i just wanna curl up in a ball
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wlntrsldler · 23 days
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another fratboy! luke installment. percy comes to visit!
part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 5 (final)
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tagged poseidonsfavchild and lukecastell4n.
yn_yln: baby bro came to visit so we showed him around 🏙️
poseidonsfavchild: you did not buy a single book in that bookstore stop cappin for the gram
yn_yln: 😐 go home
poseidonsfavchild: yw for the last picture
poseidonsfavchild: i couldve lived the rest of my life without seeing yall like that tho
bethchase: dont listen to him. he talks about how cute u guys are when ur gone
liked by yn_yln and lukecastell4n.
lukecastell4n: HA I KNEW YOU LIKED US TOGETHER
poseidonsfavchild: i shouldve pushed u in the water and let u drown when i had the chance
gr0verunderwood: me and bethchase gotta go with him next time!!!
yn_yln: yes!! i miss my kiddos 🥹🩵
liked by bethchase.
clarisselarue: u and luke are sickeningly cute bye
silenabeauregard: RIGHT
poseidonsfavchild posted a story!
y’all lukecastell4n and chrisr0driguez live like rats wtf is this?
location: kappa sigma house at umm.
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lukecastell4n replied to this story:
lukecastell4n: PERCY DELETE THIS
lukecastell4n: we haven’t cleaned yet :(
lukecastell4n: it doesn’t always look like this trust
lukecastell4n: we haven’t had chapter yet and we usually clean then
poseidonsfavchild: “it doesn’t always look like this trust” ive been here for three days and it’s looked like this the whole time
read.
bethchase replied to this story:
bethchase: oh ew 😭😭😭
bethchase: boys are so dirty
poseidonsfavchild: don’t group me with them
bethchase: i once saw a week old pizza in your cabin that had mushrooms growing on top of the mushrooms
poseidonsfavchild: sorry i didnt have time to clean my room i was too busy SAVING OLYMPUS?!
read.
yn_yln replied to this story:
yn_yln: this is why i dont sleep over the ksig house
poseidonsfavchild: I'm gonna stop u right there
poseidonsfavchild: i dont need to know any more about ur sleepovers
read.
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tagged yn_yln.
lukecastell4n: recharging on a brunch date with my fav tridelt after the weekend we just had
yn_yln: hot
yn_yln: love you 🩵 spending time with u is a blessing
lukecastell4n: you’re the biggest blessing 🤍
silenabeauregard: AWWWW SHITTTTT
bethchase: CUTE
clarisselarue: KSIG PRES IS A SOFTIE
lukecastell4n: only for my girl 🤷🏻‍♂️
liked by yn_yln.
poseidonsfavchild: im having a hard time believing that hanging out with me for ONE WEEKEND warrants a “recharge” when ur partying every weekend
lukecastell4n: percy you almost fought the chipotle staff TWICE
poseidonsfavchild: I PAID FOR GUAC SO I DESERVE MY GUAC
yn_yln: YOU paid? 🤨
poseidonsfavchild: MY SISTER PAID FOR GUAC SO I DESERVE GUAC
lukecastell4n: and the second time?
poseidonsfavchild: i didnt like their vibe idk
gr0verunderwood: percy 🤦🏾‍♂️
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tagged lukecastell4n.
yn_yln: being in love is fun when u dont have ur little brother in ur ear telling u it’s gross that you’re dating his idol
poseidonsfavchild: I CALLED HIM MY IDOL ONCE
poseidonsfavchild: i’ve grown. i’m no longer young and naive.
gr0verunderwood: LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER. he always asks what we think luke's workout is. he's tryna get like him.
liked by lukecastell4n.
poseidonsfavchild: I TOLD YOU THAT IN CONFIDENCE
lukecastell4n: i gotchu lil bro
poseidonsfavchild: don't ever call me that again.
lukecastell4n: i love you forever and ever
liked by yn_yln.
silenabeauregard: wait the second pic!!! where is that!!!
yn_yln: the museum downtown on 6th!
silenabeauregard: ty!!! charliebeck we need to go.
liked by charliebeck.
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pro-mammonologist · 11 months
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girl, that mammon head cannon of him rubbing the tip on mc’s clit 😩
MAKE IT INTO A FANFICCCC URGSJSNELMD
Okay :)
Impulsive sex with Mammon tends to be needy, messy, and quick. For someone like him, quickies used to be the way to go, just get himself off and his partner and go on with it, but with you?
It’s like all that pent up emotion pours out when his mouth is on yours.
He was already half dressed when you left the shower, occupied by his DDD. You had entered his room and shed your towel to get dressed but you could feel Mammon’s eyes on you… and then you heard his phone click and his bed shuffle behind you.
“Mc.”
“Yeah?” You whipped your head around and saw him on the edge of the bed.
“Don’t bother gettin’ any clothes on.” He patted his thigh. “Unless you don’t wanna.”
You sighed and looked toward his crotch, the bulge of gym shorts getting larger. You stuck out your lower lip in a fake protest. “I just showered.”
“Like I said—“ He attempted to speak but you beat him to it. You shuffled over and planted yourself down on his lap and ran your fingers through his hair.
“Man, you’re so aggravating.” He blushed and held your face, pulling you to his lips. It didn’t take long for Mammon to start moving your hips so you were grinding against him.
You wanted to tease him for being needy but he was too occupied with trying to practically swallow your mouth. You could feel how hard he was getting, prompting you to pull his shorts down. He let you lift up so he could shed them, leaving the two of you to be ass naked.
You gasped for breath and giggled. “Commando?”
“Usually I sleep naked anyways.” He nipped at your neck and started palming at his cock. “Touch yourself, Mc.” He bit at your lip and looked to your face for approval. Intrigued by his idea, you slowly traced circles around your clit. “I love it when you go slow, Mc, it’s like yer tryna tease me.”
You looked at the smirk on his face, instantly feeling a throb in your pussy, memories of that look flying through your mind. Mammon looked down again to watch your fingers move while picking up his own pace. Mammon could feel himself throbbing along with you, his need to cum overwhelming.
He didn’t know what it was that made him a needy mess today. Maybe it was the buildup of all the stress from exams and Lucifer and everyone making him need release? Or maybe how you’ve spent almost every night with him in his own bed and have yet to fuck in it since sleeping with him in his room. Or maybe it’s just how you so shamelessly stripped in front of him fresh out of the bath as though you’ve been married for years.
Regardless, he was already close and it brought him shame almost, but he’s not the kind to stop when he’s started. “Mc, you’ve got me so turned on, it’s like I haven’t cum in weeks.”
“Mm. You’re already close?” You felt dazed, the idea of him cumming in less than 5 minutes just from you rubbing your clit a little made you feel powerful. “How many rou—“
“I’ll keep goin til you’re satisfied.” He read your mind. “Im gonna cum.” He furrowed his brows together and let out a choked breath. “All over your pretty pussy.”
“Give it to me, Mammon, cum on my clit.” The thought of your cum covered fingers and clit made his stamina kick in tenfold. You used your fingers to part your lips, giving him a better sight and more to cum on.
“Fuck, Mc!” He angled himself downward, ropes of cum coating his cock, fingers, and your pussy. You twitched at the warmth dripping down, feeling your cheeks heat from the sight.
Mammon pumped himself slower, letting out raspy sighs and whimpers. You could see more hunger in his eyes, the way his eyes stayed fixated on your lower half, watching how his cum slowly dripped down. He looked to your upper lips prompting you to lean forward and kiss him.
His kiss was still so desperate, so breathless. You went back in for another, sucking at his bottom lip. Mammon was so sensitive that your actions made him whine, ready for more.
“Mammon, I need you to make me cum.” You pulled away from him, watching his tongue sweep across his lips.
“Don’t worry.” He pressed his tip against your clit and kissed you once more. “I wanna make you lose it.”
He started rubbing himself against your clit even tho his body was spasming and too sensitive. Mammon whined and let out choked gasps, clenching his eyes shut and then rolling them back.
You were enthralled with his body, with him. You started to grind back against him, adding more friction. “Mammon!”
He threw his head back. “Mc, oh my fucking—fuck!” He let you grind against him, guiding your hand to press him against you. You let him lean back on his hands and set the pace for him and you. “Mm, don’t be too mean, please.”
You moved your hips up and down, pressing him against you just a bit harder after hearing him. “Thought you liked mean?” You chuckled at him, watching his face go red.
“Mc…” his mouth went agape and his thighs twitched under you.
“Can’t talk huh?” You moved faster, chasing your own orgasm now. You loved the way his cock felt sliding on your cunt, lubed up perfectly with your own arousal and his cum. He concurred, fixated on how it felt and how desperately he wanted to feel your walls squeeze him in.
“I wanna see you cum so bad.” He pleaded, repositioning so that he could whisper in your ear. “Wanna fuck you till you make us both a mess.” His words sent a shiver through you, reminding you of his ever present need for more. “Wanna make you—hng—make you scream from so much.” He reached up to your head and pulled at your hair, grasping for control as his body still moved through the shockwaves of overstimulation.
“Fuck me til I beg for mercy, please Mammon. I wanna cum so bad.” You spoke some dangerous words, unsure of it was the high talking or something you really wanted. Regardless, it was enough to convince him he had to fuck you too.
“Cum, treasure, cum for me, so I can fuck you nice and good.” His breathing was beginning to calm, sending you a sign he was recovering dangerously fast.
“Yes!” You didn’t care about the danger. “Please Mammon! Fuck!” Your body tensed up and your head threw back. “Mammon, Mammon!” You came for what felt like a century, powerful enough to make you go dumb, not feeling Mammon’s hands grip your waist.
Watching you try to regain your strength, he waited for the perfect moment to flip you around so that your were on your back. You hit the mattress and instinctively spread your legs and put your arms above your head. He pulled you to his hips and eyed your cum coated cunt before pressing his tip at your entrance. You felt a tinge of fear but that only enhanced your want for him.
He could see it too. “I’ll make you feel like you’ve never felt.” He slid in slowly, savoring how you twitched around him.
“Oh god…”
“Mmhmm.” His self-control was impeccable at this moment, feeling how you were still so tight from the shockwaves of cumming so hard. “You sure you can take it?”
“I wanna.” You responded without a second thought. “Fuck me until I can’t handle you anymore.”
He didn’t waste any time, thrusting into you the way he’s been craving all week. You wrapped your legs around him and cried out. Clenching your eyes together you gripped the sheets above you, pulling at what you could. You reached down to rub your clit again, trying to add to your pleasure, but the shock of the stimulation was so much that your whole body spasmed.
“Ah!” You cried out again.
“Keep touchin’ yourself, Mc.” Mammon demanded softly but desperately. You did as he asked and struggled around him, your body moving wildly from the overstimulation. Mammon watched you hungrily, wishing he could touch your clit too, but he was too busy holding your hips in place.
“Mammon!” You cried out again, repeating his name frantically as if was the only thing you knew. He listened to you cry out his name, loving how praised him.
“Keep sayin’ my name like that and I’m gonna cum.” The sound of your skin slapping together on top of your whines and pleads made him almost ecstatic. He was moaning with you, loving how your pussy pulled him in so perfectly and how you never once took your eyes off him. “Oh, I’m gonna fill you up so fucking good.”
You were chasing another orgasm, pushing yourself as much as you could, knowing Mammon was getting close again as well. You were pleading with him, begging for him to make you cum. “Mammon, I need more please!” You begged like he was denying you, though he fully intended to make you cum as hard as he could.
“Mc, I’m gonna cum again. I’m gonna cum all over your pussy!” His grip on your waist was bound to leave marks, but you didn’t mind. “Mc, beg for my cum.”
“Please, Mammon, cum inside me, please!” You struggled to get the words out, breathlessly begging him.
“Yes! Good fucking human!” He released, filling you to his hearts content. “Mc!” He slowed a little but continued his thrusting. “I don’t wanna stop.” Mammon was a mess now, twitching and shaking, his thighs trembling as he continued to thrust.
“Mammon, you look so fucking hot.” You reached for his head that was now leaning over you, pulling at his hair.
He whined more. “‘M not stoppin’, not till you cum again.” He used all of his strength to increase his pace, but his cries by now we’re loud and uncontrollable. He didn’t care who heard, not in this moment. “Fuck! Mc! It’s too fucking much!” He didn’t stop.
“Mammon I’m so close.” You pulled at his hair harder, his eyes rolling back.
“Cum for me! Please! I need you to cum!” Mammon was so beautiful and desperate, so overwhelmed. “I wanna feel you, make me feel more.” Even then, he wanted more.
“Mammon!”
“That’s right, cum Mc!”
“Mammon, I’m cumming!”
��Fuck! Good Mc, that’s so—FUCK!”
You cried louder than you ever have before, almost screaming as you came. Mammon’s body lost its strength and he nearly collapsed on top of you. His scream outdid yours, your name filling the walls surrounding you. You pushed his chest, unable to form the words “I’m done”, luckily he was pushed far enough as well.
“Mc, I can’t take anymore.” He breathed, closing his eyes as he used his arms to prop himself up.
“Me neither.” You helped him slide out of you, moving so he had more leverage. His cum followed his cock as it left your pussy, dripping onto his bed. “Sorry.”
“I don’t care, it’s okay.” He laid beside you, legs still tangled in yours. The two of you laid there, breathing heavily and seeing stars. “You okay?”
You turned your head toward him. “Yessir.” You put your forehead to his. “Are you?”
“Mmhmm.” He closed his eyes and reached for your cheek. “You always fuck me to sleep.”
You smiled. “We need to stop asking for things we know we can’t handle.” You turned to your side and reached for the towel you tossed into the floor earlier to wipe yourself.
Mammon shuffled his blankets back so the two of you could bury yourselves under them. “We? No, that was you.”
You got under the covers with him and kissed his forehead. “You said you’d fuck me til you dropped.”
“Well, I dropped!” He protested and kissed your lips. “Stop accusin’ me and let me hold you.”
“I’d never object to that.” You nuzzled into him and he wrapped his arms around you making you tangle your legs with his. “Never.”
“Better not. You’re stuck with me now.” With one last giggle, the two of you closed your eyes and drifted off to sleep.
731 notes · View notes
simping4-2manyppl · 7 months
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is it okay if u do a Tom x reader with an Ed (so sorry if you are uncomfy with this ❕️❕️🤍🤍🤍)
Tom Kaulitz 🎸
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Ofcc i hope you enjoy 🫶🏼 i dont know much about ed’s but im going to try my best 💗 if this triggers you in any type of way please contact me! Or if i did anything wrong, I absolutely mean no harm and i will fix my mistakes.
TW! ⚠️
Contains ED! And other possible sensitive topics!! Angst! I honestly dont know if i wrote about an ED cause im not very educated on it so im sorry if its not correct!
You woke up rubbing your eyes, seeing yourself in the mirror that stood infront of you. You stood up from your bed and walked infront of the mirror frowning as you pointed out all of your insecurities and picking at them.
You bit your lip as tears formed in your eyes, “Why me?” You thought, a knock on the door interrupting your thoughts.
“Y/n! You awake?” You heard, it was tom. Your best friend, he usually checked up on you to see if you were awake, since most days youd sleep almost all day.
“Yeah!” You replied, looking away from the mirror and getting dressed. You were going to go with the band someplace, it was probably an interview or something like that.
You werent apart of the band but youd usually tag along with them since you were one of their closest friends.
You picked out some baggy clothes that hid some of your insecurities perfectly. Once you finished you walked out of your room as your eyes met with toms.
“Tryna copy my style today?” He said, in a joking way. “You stole this outfit idea from me!” You said rolling your eyes playfully.
“Sureee.” He said as you both laughed and you made your way downstairs to the kitchen.
“Good Morning!” You heard bill say, “Morning!” You said with a smile on your face, you didnt want to bring the others moods down just because you werent feeling the best, so you tried to put on a big smile and pretended to look as happy as possible.
“You coming with us again today?” Bill said, munching on something he probably found in the pantry.
“You know it, gotta support my favorite boys!” You said giving him a small wink. He laughed and nodded.
You made your way to the living room as you saw gustav and georg searching for something, “Morningg, you guys need help with anything?” You said raising your eyebrow.
They looked at you and smiled, “no thanks, we got it!” you nodded and walked over to the couch, sitting down.
If you were being honest, you were so tired, and hungry. But no matter how hard you tried you just couldnt eat food without throwing it right back up.
This habit of not eating started a while ago but you were too afraid to open up to anyone and talk about it, assuming your friends would judge you because the real reason of why was because you had a crush on tom, but you knew he only saw you in a friendly way. And his type was beautiful gorgeous girls with the perfect bodys. Something you couldnt relate to. So you kept it a secret, but it would hurt you every time you saw tom with one of his girlfriends or heard them at night.
It took a big toll on your mental health and sleep, most days you felt like a zombie, not being able to sleep and just wanting to be away from everyone, but you tried to be positive in front of your friends so you wouldn’t worry them.
___
Time Skip
___
You waited for the band in the back as they were doing a small interview, once it was over with you could hear the screams of the fans and them yelling all sorts of things.
Of course some were about tom, you then saw as they stood up to greet some of the fans and saw him talking to some girl, you knew you shouldnt have gotten jealous but you could help it.
She was perfect, and tom had looked like he just fell inlove, of course you knew he just wanted her for one night but it still hurt to see him being all flirty with her. You didnt know why but seeing him with her bothered you so much and you just couldnt figure out why, she sure was beautiful but hes been with alot of girls and none of them bothered you as much.
You sighed and looked at yourself, comparing yourself to her and immediately feeling sick. Oh how you wished you looked like her.
You waited for a bit until everyone got back, so you just decided to stay quiet and keep on going with your day.
Once you got home you locked yourself in your room, immediately plopping yourself into your bed, sighing and closing your eyes.
You eventually fell asleep but would wake up throughout the night hearing the one thing you didnt want to hear, a girl in your best friends room. Basically screaming her lungs out.
You decided to sleep in, not wanting to do anything as your energy just kept getting lower and lower by the days.
Ag some point throughout the day you heard knocks on the door asking if you were alright or going with them some place and you just tried to ignore them but gave them short replies not really wanting to talk.
A few days of you being like this everyone decided to talk to you, it wasnt normal for you to be acting like this. Tom was the first one that knocked ti check in with you as always but you just groaned and complained that you were just tired.
He decided to leave you alone amd when you heard another knock it was gustav this time.
“Hey ___, you okay?” he said in a soft voice, “yes gus, im okay! Just tired.” You said yelling and laying your head down on your pillow.
“You havent came out at all, can i come in? Please?” He said, his voice sounding sad.
You sighed and bit your lip, “going..” you said and walked up to your door, unlocking it and letting him in.
You closed it quickly as you didnt want anyone else to come in.
You turned around and faced him, “What gus?” you said, “I jus- Oh my god, are you okay?!” He said as he fully saw your face, the dark circles under you eyes fully taking over your face and you skin looker paler than ever.
He had a worried look on his face as he looked at you, analyzing your whole face. “Im fine! Im just extremely tired gus.” You said sighing.
“No! You’re not okay, you look skinnier and more tired, like a literal zombie ___! Whats going on?” He said, as he got even more worried.
Your eyes started tearing up and before you knew it you started bawling your eyes out like a baby.
“I just cant do it anymore gus, im in love with tom! you know how much it hurts to hear him flirt and see all those girls with him? It hurts so fucking much gustav.” You said, as he wrapped his arms around you.
“Oh god, im sorry ___, But maybe he loves you too! I mean have you seen the way he looks at you?” he said trying to calm you down a bit.
“No gus, he likes those other gorgeous skinny perfect girls, i cant compare to that. He only sees me as a friend.” You said, sobbing.
“Thats not true ___! Youre so Beautiful and perfect to all of us! Please dont be starving youself and making changes to yourself just cause you think you arent pretty cause you are ___!! Probably one of the prettiest girls i have ever seen in my entire life!” He said hugging you even tighter as you just cried onto his shoulder.
You lift you head off his shoulder, looking into his eyes as you sniffled, “ you really mean that?” You said biting your lip so the tears would stop flowing out.
“Yes! Ask anyone! And its not just because we are your friends! Its true ___, i dont know how you dont see it.” He said with a frown on his face.
“Then why not me?” You said, your lip quivering. “Im sorry ___, hes just not looking in the right places, cause he has an amazing girl right infront of him.” He said pulling you into a deeper hug.
After that day youd only really talk to gustav, letting him in your room and talking with him, but one day he left and you heard a knock which you assumed was just him coming back fr something he mustve forgotten, but you were wrong.
“oh my god.. ___..” Tom said staring at you in disbelief as you had the door wide open. “Tom?..” you said quietly, “are you okay? Ive been so worried, oh gosh, you look so..” he said as he stood closer placing his hands on your cheeks, analyzing your face even more.
You know you looked more tired than usual but you were just drained from all the nights of you crying, and well you havent ate something in quite a while either.
As much as gustav would try to get you to eat you refused, but would lie to him saying you ate so he wouldnt worry too much.
“Whats going on ___?” He said biting his lip, “nothing tom. Now i want to be alone can you please go?” You said looking away from him as the eye contact was starting to get unbearable.
“Not until you tell me whats going on.” He said firmly, you started getting angry and pushed him out. “ i dont want to talk right now!” You said slamming the door shut and locking it.
You felt bad but why couldnt he just leave you alone, you wanted to get rid of your crush on him so things could go back to normal but it was so hard.
You sighed and opened the door seeing him looking down, “im sorry..” you said your head hanging low as you started to feel guilty for the way you were acting towards him.
“___ you’re my best friend, im worried about you.. can we please just hang out together or something? I miss you.” He said staring at you.
You could feel the way his eyes looked at you causing you ti loft your head up and you nodded as you met his eyes.
“Yeah, i guess..” you said putting your hand on your shoulder, not knowing what to do.
“Lets get snacks and watch our favorite movie no? Maybe that can help you feel a bit better..” he said, giving you a small smile.
“I- i guess..” you said, and walked over with him. Once you retrieved the snacks you went over to the living room and sat down as he put on your guys favorite movie.
“Alright, lets eat!” He said, “im actually not hungry right now, maybe a little later.” You said, pushing the snacks away from you.
“… if you say so.” He said slightly frowning and playing the movie.
You eventually drifted off to sleep in his shoulder and once you woke up you saw him already staring at you.
“Rise and shine princess.” He said, chuckling. God, why did he have to make this worse for you..
“Sorry, i didnt mean to fall asleep, i guess i was just tired.” You said, yawning.
“Its alright, im just glad you’re here with me.” He said smiling at you.
You bit your lip, “i should go to bed now.. Ill see you tomorrow yeah?” You said getting up from the couch.
“Oh.. yeah okay, ill see you tomorrow then?” He said looking at you with pleading eyes, hoping youd say yes.
“Yeah.. maybe, goodnight tom.” You said, “goodnight ___, love you.” He said and you just gave him a small smile and walked back upstairs to your room. You laid down in bed and sighed, shutting your eyes to drift off to sleep.
After a couple of weeks youd start hanging out more with the band again and mostly tom but as you sat down in the kitchen stool you felt someone come behind you.
“I brought you something to eat.” He said, placing a takeout box in front of you.
“Im not hungry right now, but thanks tom.” You said pushing it away, and giving him a small smile.
He sat next to you and sighed, “___, you’re never hungry.” He said, “im just not tom, i already ate.” You said wanting to stop talking.
“You dont have to lie to me! Im your best friend, plus youve been in your room like alllllll day. I havent seen you come down or anything to eat ___. So please eat.” He said pushing the food closer to you.
“Tom i said im not hungry!” You said, frustrated.
“___, whats going on. I know you havent been eating, i can tell! and when you do you take the smallest bites ever! and never finish it and say youre full. Why are you doing this to yourself ___?!” He said standing up now.
Your eyes got teary, “because im not skinny or pretty or … anything tom!” You said starting to break down into tears.
He looked at you shocked, “___… why do you say that? You are pretty! im looking at you and you are of the most perfect girls ive ever seen.” He said as his eyes started to get soft and teary.
“Then why dont you like me? If im so perfect why dont you like me tom?” You said full on bawling.
“W-What?” He said, shocked and confused.
“I love you tom. I like you.. but ive never been perfect like those other girls that you are always with, i cant compare to them. They have model bodies and beautiful faces, and i dont. I thought maybe if i stopped eating it would just fix all of my problems, but it only made them worse.” You said, in between sobs.
He immediately wrapped his arms around you, “y/n, i do love you. Ive always have. I thought you didnt like me so i distracted myself with other girls to get over my feelings for you, i didnt wanna ruin the friendship that we had. I thought you hated me.. when you started ignoring me ___..” he said, starting to cry.
You stopped crying as you were in shock, not expecting him to say those things. “Tom.. i could never hate you, i just wanted to distance myself so i could get over you, it hurt seeing you with other girls, i also didnt know you liked me..” you said staring at him, “please dont cry..” you said, placing your hands on his cheeks.
“___ please promise me you wont do this again, please try to eat, i know itll take some time but please ___.” He said, looking into your eyes.
You nodded, “ill try tom, i really will.. im sorry.” You said, “no i am, i really do love you ___.” He said as he started leaning in closer to you, “i do too tom..” you said, your faces inches apart.
He finally closed the gap between you two, softly placing a gentle kiss on your lips. He moved his hands on your waist, pulling you closer to him.
Once you departed he gave you a small kiss on your nose and smiled at you, you smiled back at him and blushed.
“Now lets get you something to eat, yeah? Then we can focus on everything else after meine liebe.” he said, placing another small kiss on your lips then grabbing the food as he helped you eat, even if they were small bites he still helped by giving you small praises.
And this was why you fell in love with him..
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solitude4chiron · 9 months
Text
Carry me home..
Miles-42 x Black Reader
About: You and miles smoke together while braiding his hair
A/N: I think this will be a one shot tbh, I’m honestly writing anything rn so apologies if this ain’t my best 😪😪
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“Im home ma” Miles yelled from inside of the living room, bringing in flowers like how he did every other day knowing there was no space for them.
You had took his hair out yesterday night and promised to braid his hair today. His coils framed his sharp face drooping over his forehead. Before you could even get up from your bed and put your joint down, he was in the smoke filled doorway.
“Damnn smoking without me? Estoy lastimado princesa” (I’m hurt princess) He laughed placing the flowers on your desk before changing his clothes.
“Didn’t think you’d be home so early sorry baby” you smiled before kissing his brown lips.
After he changed his clothes and got settled on the bed, you bounced up from your spot on his chest and ran to the bathroom. When you came back there were 2 combs and edge control in your hand. 
Your mom had taught you how to braid since you were 5. You braided your baby dolls hair while she did yours. It was a love language to gift someone beauty through their hair. So you carried it over to your boyfriend who let you play in his hair whenever.
“You ready?” 
“Always” he said scooting back into your open legs resting his head between them. “Tryna spark up? Again..” He said sarcastically trying to get a laugh out of you.
“Sure miles”
After every few minutes he would lean his head back and pass you the joint. Watching you take hits was his favorite thing ever, the way your lips opened to ghost and exhale. The way your eyes lowered and merged into your lashes. He loved it. Your window was open and orange streetlights poured through, illuminating the already candlelit room. Plus tonight your boyfriend didn’t come home at 3 am, so it was automatically a good night.
“I’m gonna try something new today ok? It’s gonna look amazing I promise”
“confío en ti” (I trust you)
After a few braids you threw yourself back onto the bed needing a quick break, miles stood from his spot and laid next to you. Kissing your forehead repeatedly to show his appreciation.
“Tired? That za got you sleepy huh” he laughed tracing your nose with his fingers.
 “I thought you said you could take it? This what you wanted right?”
“What are we talking about right now..” You responded making a dirty joke, miles rolled his eyes sarcastically knowing he didn’t mind.
“boy sit back down”
“Yes ma’am”
About half an hour your later hands started resting lighter and lighter on his head. Getting more tired with every braid you finished. Luckily you were on the last braid for the night.
“I’m done babe” you said through barely open lips 
“Well your coming with me to see them” miles said picking you up from the bottom of your thighs and draping your head over his shoulder. 
When you got to the bathroom you both looked into the mirror with red eyes. He admired the designs in the side of his head in awe.
“How did you do this y/n what the fuck?!” 
“You like it?” 
“I love it hermosa, let’s get you in bed though.”
When you and miles were in bed his favorite thing to do was press himself into you. You didn’t mind if it kept you two warm through the night. Before drifting into sleep you felt something poke your butt making you flip your body over, locking eyes with your boyfriend.
“Your nasty as hell miles” you laughed 
“My bad, you looked good tonight”
“Stay on that side of the bed please…” you said sarcastically pushing him away and rolling your eyes.
& that’s all thanks 4 reading 🫶🏾 + that vamp hobie fic is done I’m just hesitant on dropping it so gimme a minute 😭
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to6ge · 10 months
Text
Hobie x Gn!Reader part 2
Pairing : Hobie Brown / Spider punk x Gender neutral reader
MAYDAY IS OLDER HERE!! like maybe around 3.
Cw : None! This fanfiction is purely fluff
Summary : Day 2 of taking care of Mayday!! Whoopee. This time you go out for dinner with Hobie.
Gwen’s note : part 2 yipeeyopeeyoo im sorry for the messy theme on my account i dont lnow how to fix it 💔💔🦅🦅
This wasnt actually supposed to be written but I did, for my sister because she rocks and she deserves it!!
POSSIBLE ATSV SPOILERS!
. . . ☆ . . .
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Your alarm clock rang perfectly at 8 AM. You groaned loudly, God, you felt so tired. Mayday was right beside you when you woke up and Hobie was still in deep sleep, holding you. You tried to wake him up.
“Hobie! Wake up! Hobie!” you said this so much times but he wouldnt wake up, then you tried shaking him and finally! He woke up. He opened his eyes but wouldnt let go of you. “Hobie! We need to prepare Mayday’s breakfast!” you said once again, trying to convince him to let go of you. “Im still so tired love, c’mon now just 5 more minutes..” he said. He did sound tired but you really needed to prepare Mayday’s food. Mayday was gonna start crying soon, you felt it in your bones!
“We need to feed Mayday.. cmon..” you said, you were hoping this’ll convince him. But no, he wouldnt let go. Till finally 30 minutes of tryna convince him, he let go of you.
“Thank you for letting go of me Hobie!!”
“ ‘welcome love”
You cooked some eggs for breakfast and served 2 glasses of water for the both of you. Mayday started crying for food while you were cooking.
The three of you sat down and ate in peace, after you were done, you were walking to the living room sofa when Mayday tugged on your pants midway, “Want cocomelon!!” she was practically begging, shed cry if you say no! “Alright alright,,” You sighed. You carried her to the sofa and watched cocomelon with her and Hobie.
Then eventually Hobie got bored in the middle of an episode and turned the TV off, Mayday started crying. “Turn on!!” she cried and sniffled as Hobie picked up his electric guitar and smirked, “Dont cry mate! I bet ‘ya, you’ll love this!” he beamed and started playing a metal song on the guitar, and Mayday started crying even more.
“HOBIE! CANT YOU PLAY A NURSERY RHYME OR SOMETHING?!!” you kinda yelled, “Love, I dont know how to play those..” You laughed, what kind of person that knows how to play really hardcore songs doesn't know how to play a basic nursery rhyme? “How come?” You laughed after saying that. “Just didnt bother to try and learn ‘em”
But he stopped after that and put his guitar down. “Sorry mate, thought you’d like it,” then finally you continued to watch cocomelon with Mayday. It bore you to your core, and you felt like you were about to sleep in the middle of another episode. Without realizing, you dozed off.
You were woken up with the sound of Mayday saying “Why is she not waking up?” Mayday was crying, she thought you were dead, then you woke up. “What was happening, Hobie??!!” you groaned. “SHE AWAKE! YAY!!” Mayday beamed.
“Mayday thought you were dead” Hobie laughed in amusement. “If I sleep again tell her that Im just resting, alright? Dont make her worried!”
It was once again 5’o clock when Mayday wanted food. You were too lazy to cook, so, you decided to dine in instead ( but with what money? 🤨 ) You didnt bring a car or anything so.. well.. Hobie carried you both to the restaurant, with webs. He swung rapidly and you couldn't stop screaming, “HOBIEEEE DONT YOU DARE DROP ME” you yelled and screamed while Mayday seemed to be enjoying this, “what the fck?!” you said in your mind. How is she enjoying this.. “What if I do?” he asked jokingly. “I’ll obviously die!”
And finally, you reached the dinner. You were panting once you reached the ground “god that was so scary..” you were glad to feel the ground again, being up there for 30 minutes felt like it was an eternity!
You ordered food and enjoyed dinner, Hobie had to spoon feed Mayday again so it took a while to finish all the food. Hobie had his arm wrapped around your shoulder the whole time, even though he struggled to eat and spoon feed Mayday with only 1 hand // arm, he enjoyed it.
You had to go back home the way you came here, and you were prepared for whats coming though, or so you thought.. He swung rapidly and you thought youd be fine but you were still screaming in fear. But this time, it felt nice. The air was cool and the breeze made you feel like you were in heaven, even better, you were with Hobie. After you got used to it,, you stopped screaming and it actually felt nice.
You finally arrived home, satisfied with those 2 days you spent together with Hobie and Mayday. This all felt nice now. Hobie had put Mayday in her crib and fed her milk before she slept, You took a shower and relaxed on the bed while Hobie was still doing that. Hobie took a shower as well and hopped onto bed with you. He turned to you in the bed and wrapped his arms around you before saying, “Today was a really good day.”
“I agree, but it was much more enjoyable with you here” You smile softly at him before he kisses you on the cheek. “I love ya,” he said “I love you too,”
Your conversation went on and on until you realized it was late at night now, no-maybe even morning, it was 2.40am once you both stopped talking to each other. “You think we should sleep now?” You asked, feeling tired now. “I think so, well, g‘night love” “goodnight Hobie”
Crickets croaked outside and the aircon was loud. A brief moment of silence occurred till you heard Hobie snoring a little, you couldnt help but giggle hearing that before sleeping as well.
It was nice till you heard a door slam and a man’s voice saying, “WERE HOME!!” happily and loudly.
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Final part!! Thank you soo much for 100 likes on the other part, means a lot!! Sorry if this came out pretty late. I procrastinated a lot eurhrueur
I hope this is enjoyable!! I might come up with a special or maybe open up requests because i reached 100,, thank youuu again!
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queenie-blackthorn · 6 months
Text
in honor of world mental health day heres my story below the cut :)
kinda hard to talk abt this cause its somewhat triggering and ik theres gonna be ppl who think im just an emo 15 y/o, but i swear im not tryna be dramatic. im tryna make peace with my past, and also show others that despite everything, you can make it.
also, im tryna show that healing isnt all sunshine and daises. theres the good, the bad, and the ugly. you can and will survive it all
tw: sewerslide attempt, abusive parents, self harm, violence ig ?
ive died two times in my life so far.
the first time, it was my parents who killed me. december 31st, 2020, ~1.15am. i remember dragging across the hallway in my house, a throbbing sensation in my thigh, the mark already turning purple. i walked past my younger sisters' room, where my cousin was sleeping over with them, and i remember climbing into bed, hugging my pillow, crying against the pillow. that night, it was my innocence that died. my childhood happiness, per se. i remember swearing to myself in those final moments before darkness that id never forget that day. december 31st, 2020, ~1.15am.
the time between my two deaths was filled with barely anything other than self loathing. i remember trying to set goals for myself, reasons to live. i tried out new hobbies. i was never able to meet those goals, and all the hobbies bored me.
i met some of the best people ever during that time. i also met some of the worst. i might sound dramatic, cause im young and impressionable, but the people i met during that time genuinely shaped who i am. i dont wanna act like im an old soul or anything, cause im sure that in a few years imma look back and think, "shit, i was really immature." but i matured faster than others my age. i found myself faster, found things i liked, found love, found out i hated being in love.
and then i died again.
this was a recent death. june 22, 2023. my mental health had been deteriorating for months prior – i still have scars on my arms.
it was a slower death compared to the last one. i started dying at around 4.00pm. it went on for an hour before the pain became unbearable and i confessed to my parents. i didnt want to go to the hospital, i was scared of what theyd do. i threw up seven times before giving in at about 8.00pm. they took me to the hospital. i was told told me i was lucky to be alive, that my liver was still functional. i didnt feel lucky. i felt like death wouldve been less painful. my head was spinning
i died in that hospital bed, at ~9.40pm, with my eyes wide open, my mom sitting near me. my thoughts at the time were along the lines of this:
im quite literally a child in the eyes of the world. ive done nothing. i have a psychology exam tomorrow. i have a book im halfway done writing, and a new story thats been brewing in my head for months. but if i die now, ill never get to finish any of that. ill never succeed. ill never be able to spit in the faces of the girls who bullied me, of the teachers who doubted me. why would i do this to myself? why would i rob myself of that chance?
so i died. but not the same way as last time. this time, it was the poisonous me that died, the me that whispered in my ear that my life would amount to nothing, that everyone else had it better, that you either succeed or you dont.
and when i died the second time, something happened that didnt happen the first time.
i was reborn.
at the time of me writing this, its been less than four months since my rebirth. in those four months:
i decided to change the world somehow. not necessarily by finding the cure to cancer or anything, id be satisfied if it was just a cute lil video i made going viral. as long as theres someone out there who i changed
i finished about six chapters of my book
i began writing the story that had been brewing in my head
i started lifting weights to make myself feel better abt how i looked
i got closer to god. stopped missing prayer
i moved schools, leaving behind both bullies and friends
i started focusing on my studies
i tried to fix my relationships with my parents and my siblings
dont get me wrong. none of these are completed. im still an extreme case of nobody-ness. i havent finished writing either of my stories. i still skip out on working out a lot i still only do the bare minimum in terms of religion. im still struggling to catch up in school to make up for my three years of burnout. my relationship with my family is still kinda weird
and i still feel like im dying sometimes. its not like i changed overnight and all those suicidal thoughts and feelings of drowning just disappeared when the sunrays came up. theres still a lot of issues in my life.
but i have faith in myself. in my ability to change the things that can be changed. in creating happiness where theres room for it to be made.
and if finding happiness a losing battle?
well, ill fight like its the fucking boudican revolt.
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cl00udyyanan · 1 year
Note
heyy!!! i honestly dunno how to write requests if im suppose to be really indepth or just give u a prompt or smth but if u could i would really like some roommates au kazuha and the antics that come with it
this was a very nice prompt lol thank you for sending it in! i think having kazu as a roommate would be such a fun experience i hope you like it
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synopsis: kazuha is your college roommate and he likes to bake really really late at night
warnings: none really i mean a little fire maybe
characters: kazuha
notes: this can be taken as platonic or romantic don't matter uh this was nice to write and i like the idea of kazuha having a little bit of adhd symptoms bc i can say myself i have baked cupcakes at 2 am and almost caused a fire....
⊱ ───── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.}───── ⊰
•you weren't too excited to have a college roommate, but when kazuha had introduced himself upon entering your small shared apartment, you assumed he was the quiet type so he wouldnt be a bother, boy you were wrong
•kazuha was definitely the quiet type, most of the time you couldn't even tell he was home until he crept up behind you tryna talk to you but instead just scares the mess out of you
•he always had little knick knacks sprinkled around the apartment, one time you found a wooden squirrel with a beanie on the counter
•he was practically the perfect roomie, he'd make breakfast in the mornings often and would clean up (of course you'd offer to help) buys you dinner and stuff , so sweet
•he luckily was not one of those roommates who had people running in and out, but he did have this little green haired guy come over every now and then. you tried to introduce yourself but he kinda ignored you lol
•you also found out he played guitar! he even pops into your room to just strum some songs for you or recite his little lyrics
•it can get kinda annoying when he's playing his instrument in the middle of the night tho :/
•he often asks if you want to go hang out with him like taking walks or going to coffee shops
•he tried to convince you to get a cat for the apartment, when you finally agreed, he instantly had to get rid of the cat bc the landlord saw you tryna bring cat litter into the room lol (we miss you coco)
•in all he is a great roommate
there was one time though...
you knew kazuha was an eccentric person and that sometimes he would have little phases where he'd hype fixate on new hobbies, but baking an entire two tier cake at 2 am had to be a stretch. you were cuddled in your soft blankets in your room, sleeping away from the rest of the world uninterrupted. yet, when a a foul energy entered your lungs and awoke you with a coughing fit.
you threw your comforter off and ran out of your room following the path of black smoke to the kitchen. you mouth flew open with hands on your hips, you found the culprit of the fire, ther was kazuha hardly dressed with just a red shirt on with an underground band on it and a pair of grey basketball shorts. his snow unruly hair held back with a hair tie like he had been working on something. he was hissing through his teeth while carrying a gray steel pan with pink mitts on, he placed the pan on the counter then closed the oven. kazuha's eyes were squint, he hunched over and let out a mess of coughs. the gray smoke accumulating in the air made your eyes stung.
"kazuha what the hell." you coughed out. he peered up at you with his strawberry eyes, a small smile grew on him happy to greet you. you scowled at him. "come on man what are you doing, its two am..." he shrugged and waved the smoke from his face. "making you a birthday cake? he quiped. you walked past him to the window and lifted it up. "dude, my birthday isn't for three more months." you heard kazu chuckle. he took the pan and began to work on his cake again, as if he didnt almost cause a fire. "oh good, it not burnt." you purvhased yourself against the wall, staring at him bewilderingly, he truly was a free thinker. "wow! that smoke you made could have told me otherwise." kazuha let out a bark of laughter, he turned to you with the brightest look on his face. "oh hush, i'll let you have first bit if you stop complaing." he sung. you couldn't say no to that, if the cake comes out right. kazuha definitely wasn't roommate of the year, but he was an amazing person to have by your side, you could never admit that to him though.
⊱ ───── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.}───── ⊰
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puppysdog · 7 months
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im gonna be honest ive been listening to this all day
lyrics under the cut
Intro: Khantrast & DizzyEight, Both]
Yeah, yeah, damn
We did it again
We did it again
We did it again (We did it-, nah)
We did it again
We did it again
Me and my twin, we did it again
[Verse 1: Geto (Khantrast)]
Look, a bro want beef with a pro by all means, we can spark heat with a dome
Been told y'all stench like apes, turn this zoo to a homicide scene with the folks
No peace, we do the most, y'all fiends get beat by the priest get disposed
Watch your mouth, curse at me, Imma leave you knocked out while you sleep with the ghosts
Geto, devil
They dead, when it's curse, I let room
Blood red, got an army on get go
Neck fold back, now they looking like a pretzel
One hit make 'em think God switch up the show
Like I'm writing down names in the Death Note
Top two, but I feel number one
If they ask by the rest, I point down death row, uh
Who could compete with me? All opposition, I finish 'em easily, gang full of deities
Soon as they summoned, y'all best get to running, or you might end up on an EMT
You could catch me with the demons, be watch how this sorcerer outplay the game like it's DND
Y'all think I'm playing? I'm box with the best, only one living soul on this planet that equal me, woo
Who wanna clash? Ready to box, now get sneak attacked, stupid
You could get smacked, pop out the shadows, I'm smoking your pack, stupid
He want the hands, now he getting jumped, my gang on his ass, stupid
You pull up on me, I bust out the Dragon and leave him outclassed, stupid
He want the back and forth
My armada leave his ass in fourths
Kamikaze what you have in store
If you want it with me, we could scrap some more
Pack up and dash fast forward
Know he gon' get harassed and deformed
If we combat it, we bring havoc storms
Had rapping with the bro pass the torch
[Verse 2: Gojo (DizzyEight)]
Hold up, he really thought I was dead? (Stupid)
You should've went for the head
Finger snap, and it rip him to shreds
Night night, then we put him to bed, baow
Wait, I'm not the one, dummy
He really thought that he won
The battle was over before it begun
Put him down, then I father his son
Yeah, tryna beat Gojo, you gon' need more than a gun
You'll get clapped like Todo, fold bro, when I pull up, you should know that he done
Leaving 'em stunned, this what you want, shoulda told him that I do this for fun
Your block gets spun, why would I run? You see Toji, I see a hole in one
We both killers, only difference between us is that I can finish the job
And when a lame tried to have me slain by letting it bang, I walked out alive
Thought I was limited, limitless, they could be ten of him, that's just more bodies to drop
Thought he was menacing? Ignorant - I am the synonym, play with the gang, and you gaining a plot
Took an L once, now it's never again
Now I'm up, and I'll never descend
Slide up on him when he least expect it
Then it's hollow purple and his spirit ascend
I'm him, you can't win
Took a chance, now he out on a limb
What I mean is he out of a limb
Blinded by hate, now his light getting dimmed
This was a pointless fight
Orphaned your kid just to die over spite
I'm guessing he hated his life
So I packed him and sent straight to his wife
I was wronged, so I'm making it right
Came for my head, and they came with the price
You put my twin in your sights
Now when I see you, it's fatal on sight
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racmune · 7 months
Text
a warm bed - fixer x jumpsuit fic
general audiences, 418 words (february 27th, 2023)
posted here for @kuronightgl ! ao3 mirror here.
//GODDDD i would honestly rather be stabbed to death multiple times than read my own writing so YOU KNOW. IM DOIN THIS FOR YOU. that being said i should probs post my other fics here as well so i might do that. but not before i hop on tf2 CAUSE ITS TF2S BIRTHDAY TODAY RAHHHHHHHHHH
It was quiet at this time in the night. Shadows had filled the room, leaving a chill in the temperature. The only light in the room came in from the moon in the window, laying itself along the floor, against curtains and Jumpsuit, who was resting on Fixer’s couch once again. There’d been an ache in his back ever since morning and it wouldn’t stop, which was in no doubt exacerbated by the couch. Jumpsuit tried to fight the urge to toss and turn and simply laid there in his pain, but eventually giving in and sitting up on the couch. He picked up the TV remote and turned on the TV, then promptly muting it so as to not wake anyone up. Nothing particularly interesting.
His eyes blurred from exhaustion at the bright screen flickering back at him. He was still tired. His head hung low with his hands clasped between his knees. His head turned to face the door to Fixer’s bedroom. He turned off the TV and made his way to it, opening it a crack. Fixer was sound asleep on his bed which was relieving to him. Jumpsuit opened the door slowly and sauntered into the room. He stood above him, staring at his chest rising and falling. He figured he’d wake him up to see if he could cuddle up, but Fixer looked completely relaxed for the first time since Railway United. Jumpsuit’s brows furrowed underneath his mask.
He heard the sound of rustling from behind him and he pivoted to the noise with his knife in hand, but it was only Bonkbot.
“Uh. Hey there, Jumpy.” He said, cracking open a can of Bonk.
Jumpsuit just shook his head and let out a deep breath.
“Why are you watching Fixer sleep? You tryna kill him?”
His eyes widened at the proposition.
“Well forget I asked anythin’, Mr. Normal. ” Bonkbot responded, walking back to his pod.
Jumpsuit turned back to face Fixer, and he faced him too. Jumpsuit stared wide-eyed, blinking.
“Sorry.” Jumpsuit signed, circling a fist against his chest.
“It’s okay.” Fixer replied sleepily. “You wanna come in?”
Jumpsuit nodded and Fixer made space for him.
“You gonna take off your mask?” He asked.
Jumpsuit thought for a moment but shook his head. Fixer shrugged and Jumpsuit slipped under the blanket with him. It was warm under the covers.  Fixer had his shirt off and Jumpsuit's hands were cold. There was but only one logical decision.
Fixer suddenly yelped and Jumpsuit snorted.
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hailieshapedbox · 1 month
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ohhhh i just realized why i have no desire to sleep even though i in fact am getting tired🤪 my cousin was in psychosis for two weeks on coke off meds and two days ago he took a turn and directed all of his pain and anger at me n was talking shit about me saying vile things (mostly about being lesbian) till 4 am two days ago and till 6am last night. walking in the living room where i was juggling a knife and scraping it on our roomates doors, throwing n stabbing oranges around the house till he got 5250’d in the morning. i hope hes having an alright time in there he really needs help and hopefully rehab and hopefully he finally wants the change that he might not know he needs and actually does want. ya had to vent it out guys thx for reading my run on sentence, im actually tryna lead into a better, personal topic and this plays a part on it so i started there. i uh started recovery in AA 3 days ago and im so fucking happy to finally want to take my life back fully into my own hands and have the drive and ambition that i got easily with alcohol (fucking cop out). ik how this sounds to some people, i went to AA and NA for fun when i was in a grouphome at 17 bc it was another way for us to get off the campus and hangout with the other houses (they called them cottages🏡🕯️🎍☺️). so im very comfortable in that environment, it wasn’t an entirely new concept or energy to me, its been about ten years, but this is my first time coming with a severe desire to change and take back my life into my own hands. ya i had drank in highschool (fuckinn middle school too) but i dont think i ever had to drink and drink and drink till i passout and not be able to stop until im blacked out. that didnt happen till i was 23 in such a chaotic livlihood i couldnt stand any part of my reality, work, home, abusive relationship, i couldnt breathe but i could drink. to the point i was delivering weed from the dispensary drunk. it happened again over the summer for all of the same reasons but this time i had come back to my cousins house to get on my feet and ultimately ended up helping everyone else and their businesses and livlihood more than my own and i was drained out, favor not returned gang. i thought i was gonna stop drinking at the end of summer and i did a few times, a week, two a month but the binges were bad and i was in a lot of dangerous situations recently. everytime i thought i was ready, someone would give me a reason to catch a nice break from the chaos circus life, n who would say no to what sounds like bliss? the last time i drank i didnt even want to, i didnt even wanna go out shit, friend called me crying for help, by the end of the night i needed a relief drink joined got physically hurt (7 minor injuries but some are mid😭), stranded they took off w my phone and wallet in my bag, no sweater at 4am upset in a parking lot not tryna take three hour walk home. a ride from a nice lady w a sketchy guy judging me. how the fuck did it happen again, how easy couldve i prevented this. i had already reached out to a well versed friend that i need to get sober, she said she’d be around in a couple days n we would go. i told her again the next day i needed it even more now and we went that night, which she was wanting to bc she liked that specific meeting. well gang that specific meeting is always gonna be the story to the start of my meeting. i immediately got picked to lead and read through out the meeting on a little stage in front of everyone with the key speaker. as i expected haha, never heard of a lottery meeting like that. i made a home that night, i kept eveyones lottery ticket from the raffle that i picked (and the three left over), i hadnt felt so much support in years, and all at once and a whole room full of people.
i know im only three days in but ive been waiting my whole life to be here.
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miruac · 2 years
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melatonin; meləˈtōnən. a hormone produced by the brain in response to darkness; associated with sleep-wake cycle.
I.H CAMPUS LECTURE HALL E; MONDAY AFTERNOON; 3:09 P.M
"yun. yunmei qi."
"nice to meet you, yunmei."
the two exchanged smiles before turning their attention towards the professor. throughout the lecture, casey felt...awake. all throughout his previous years of schooling, he constantly felt head pain, hypertension and lightheadedness. it wasn't until he was diagnosed with insomnia that he had a clue what was going on.
this lecture was taking longer than he thought it would go. even if it was only ten minutes, it felt like half an hour had already passed. casey always got bored easily, and ended up focusing his attention on something else. he scribbled a few letters on a notepad, before passing it to yun.
you bored?
yun didn't notice as she was busy typing away on her laptop. a little nudge from casey's knee broke her trance and she glanced over to him. the two made eye contact before casey gestured to the notebook. yun's eyes followed his gesture and peeked down at the slab of papers. the girl huffed and pushed it aside. she was focused on passing her classes. casey nudged her knee again, but only got an even harder nudge in return. he winced and scribbled on the notebook again.
can i at least get your number?
with one last final nudge, he successfully captured the attention of yun. she scribbled ten numbers and pushed the notebook back. casey smiled to himself and typed in the ten numbers into his phone.
unknown: hi :)
yunmei qi: stfu im tryna learn here
I.H CAMPUS LECTURE HALL E; MONDAY AFTERNOON; 4:14 P.M
yun and casey's shared lecture had just ended, and everyone was packing up their things and leaving. everyone crowded around the doors, so some pushing was bound to happen.
"hey, there's a freshman get-to-know each other event happening wednesday night, you gonna come?"
casey said, hauling his backpack over his shoulder. yun shrugged as she shoved her laptop and nessecities in her tote bag.
"i'm not a people person, and i may have plans that night."
"suit yourself. i heard they're handing out free stuff there."
yun's eyes widened at the word "free". her head shot up and made eye contact with casey, staring him down.
"they gonna have free food?"
"yes...? stop staring at me, it's like you're digging for my darkest secrets and it's creepy."
the girl giggled and smiled a bit, before waving goodbye to casey. casey smiled back, waving to her. yun walked out of the lecture hall and out onto the campus courtyard. it was sunny and breezy, with a few clouds scattered here and there.
he's kind of cute...
shes so pretty...
I.H CAMPUS DORMITORY; TUESDAY MORNING; 1:20 A.M
another night, another episode of goodnight central. whilst on the topic of life, why not add the future?
"happy 1:20 a.m everybody, welcome back to another episode of goodnight central. for new listeners, i'm q.y and this is goodnight central; a podcast devoted to helping struggling sleepers sleep. tonight, i'll be talking about the future and how many things it has waiting for everyone. now, where was i? ah yes.."
I.H CAMPUS DORMITORY; TUESDAY MORNING; 1:20 A.M
it was already past 1:10 a.m, and casey was having trouble sleeping again. his roommate was again, knocked out. as every second passed, the clock ticks got louder and louder. casey was suddenly hyperaware of everything in the room. the quiet hum of the minifridge amplified the whooshing from the ventilation system. as he stared at the dark ceiling, he couldn't help but think that yun sounded a tad similar to the girl who ran goodnight central.
she looked really pretty and sounded really pretty too...
before casey could think more, he glanced at the clock. a bright shining 1:23 a.m. tonight was the freshman event, and if he didn't sleep now he would definitely feel lightheaded later on in the day. monday morning casey ended up subscribing to goodnight central as a resort to help him sleep when his insomnia got worse occaisionally. he plugged in his headphones and tapped in on the podcast.
"ah yes, i was on the topic of new changes. new changes and the future are somewhat related, actually. again, life is just a big branch with many smaller ones determining our paths. whether we choose the right or wrong branch, our future can end up in many unexpected ways. everyone has their future planned out differently. some want to travel the world, and some want to settle down at an exact age and start a family. the future can be scary when thinking about it, and it's best to focus on the present. the present you can make choices that lead to your future. it's okay to think about your future, but you shouldn't be stressing about it. honestly, the thought of the future has me excited. growing up i've been a hopeless romantic and i've dreamed of meeting my future soulmate so often. there were a few times in high school where i would purposely hunt around the halls looking for people who i could potentially end up with, but none of them did and i'm glad they didn't. it's best to..focus on your..self...."
and that, is how casey ruang fell peacefully asleep once again.
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HOLY SHIT HI EVERYONE ITS CURRENTLY ALMOST ONE AM AND IM DONE CHAPTER TWO AAAAAA IM SO EXCITED FOR WHAT THIS FIC HAS IN LATER CHAPTERS HEEHEE
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daisyvisions · 1 year
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I worked a 10 hour shift today and my coworker walked in on me crying to tbz's music in the break room. 👍 Guess it was kinda for the better though because we both laughed about it and I stopped crying, so,
Anyway, how are you today? Hope you're feeling better from before and not too overwhelmed by anything.~ 💜 Take care of yourself and stay healthy!
Aww babe I hope you feel okay now! Please rest and do whatever makes you relaxed! YOU DESERVE IT 😤
I'm lacking sleep because had to wake up earlier than usual and works been feeling idk repetitive in a way it's making me feel numb? maybe it's also cuz I had my period this week too lol but overall im slowly tryna find the perfect routine for myself and practice writing again bcos I feel so damn rusty kjadnfksdjfn But I'm feeling better than before in short!
thanks for checking up on me! Take care of yourself too okay? 💕
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rollymolly · 2 years
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i stg my mornings are hectic, I'm just tryna entertain myself with something and i'm juggling the cat wanting to bite at my wifes feet cuz they keep moving under the covers and also the cat wanting to jump up to the windowsill and either knock over or bite our plants while simultaneously trying to stay as cool as possibke but leaving the windows open the perfect amount so the cat wont try to escape out of them all the while at least once a day a bug flies through the window cuz we dont have bug screens and then thats a fiasco to get it out and try to keep remy out of the room as much as she wants to hunt this lil wasp that could rly hurt her and i have to go to the kitchen to get a cup to pacifist route this wasp and make sure remy isnt waiting at the door to rush in as soon as i open it again to go back in with the cup all the while i live in a house with 3 people who have fucked sleep schedules and literal insomniac levels of light sleeping and rely on me to keep quiet when their bedroom is directly below ours and i cant breathe out my nose all morning because i walked around in a few parks with grass for 10 minutes the other day and im trying to blow my nose every 10 minutes to eventually be able to breathe but ive blown my nose so many times im lightheaded which im extra susceptible to because i took a muscle relaxant anti anxiety pill last night which is also giving me cotton mouth on top of phlegm in my throat from allergies so im drinking a bunch of water slowly over a period of time but i drank too much and now im getting bloated pains and my wife wants scritches but after 5 minutes i rly wanna blow my nose again because deep down in my soul i still naively believe theres hope that my nose can be unclogged today and i try to cut scritches short but my wife wants more so i keep going because i have bpd and have immense levels of love in my heart that is honestly hard to deal with and i am very receptive to just serving every little need to people i care for as a coping mechanism and then when i come bqck i notice i havent seem remy in a while and im wondering if i left the windows slightly too open and she managed to pancake through the tiny opening and escape and i just tell myself i cant have predicted something like that and i dont immediately see her out the window i cant possibly go outside to make sure on the account of an unlikely possibility just because i imagine a hypothetical fantasy scenario where it did happen and im kicking myself over not checking just in case because if i did that everytime i was paranoid my life would be HELL
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rissouu · 3 months
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“can you be my mommy?!” toji fushiguro
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you sneakily got out of bed, picking up your clothes in the process. toji had threw them all over the room last night.. and he even ripped a slit into your dress in the midst of taking it off. “ugh i swear to god, im making him buy me a new one.”
you took one last look at his sleeping form before smiling. you knew he would be upset in the morning since he hated when you left in the middle of the night.. but you never liked to overstay your welcome. no matter how many times he told you it was fine he didn’t mind you staying, you still went home right after.
you slipped your clothes back on and gently grabbed your keys— hoping it wouldn’t make too much of a loud noise.
“all right toji, im out. ill text you later boo, sleep well.” you lowly whispered and placed a kiss on his forehead. thank god he was still asleep or he wouldn’t allow you to leave.
“what awh you doing?” a tiny boy called out, completely messing up on his words. your body jumped slightly frightened by the voice, of course you knew who it was but that still didn’t stop you from being startled. he was usually sleep at this time!
“im getting ready to leave megs, i was just saying bye to your daddy,” you smiled, fixing your dress a little since it was rising. “what are you doing up boo.. you not tired?”
“no i not sleepy, where you go wing?”
“uh i was gonna go home since it’s getting late,” you replied while slipping on your crocs. at the rate this was going toji was going to wake up soon, he was already stirring in his sleep. and the last thing you needed was to deal with his tantrum— lecture, about you trying to leave.
“i no want you to go, lay back down with daddy! i go lay with you guys.”
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you didn’t know how you got here.. sandwiched between both of the boys. toji’s head in your chest and megumi’s little arms wrapped around your waist. you knew this would happen but you actually weren’t as mad about it.
if anything you were kind of happy, finally felt like you had a family. even if you and toji were only sneaky links, he treated you like family.
“n/n was tryna leave early dada, i catch her tryna leave!”
you rolled your eyes and playfully pushed the little boy off of you, “alright now snitch, you don’t get to lay on me no more.”
“oh really,” toji took his head out of your chest and straight faced you. no wonder his sleep felt off earlier, “thanks for tellin’ me meg. ima deal wit’ her later.”
“well damn y’all, i was only tryna give you guys some space! im over here every day,” you sighed hoping toji would understand where you were coming from. but he didn’t, and he never would.
it shocked him how clueless you were, he wanted you with him at all times for a reason. he was in love with you, just couldn’t find a way to show it. “we don’t want space, so don’t do that shit again. i keep tellin’ you ‘bout that.”
“yayy n/n can stay! can you be my mommy?!” megumi cheered— clapping his hands and jumping all over the place.
your heart dropped. this was trick question, if you said yes then toji would probably think you’re insane. but if you said no then he’d be pissed at you for crushing his sons dreams.
“i-“
“yeah she’s your mommy meg. so we gotta be nice to her, show her that we love her, ight?” toji butted in and started to rub down the skin of your back. he saw you glaring into his soul but simply looked away, knowing he’d just unofficially pronounced his love for you.
“wait for real, you love me toji?”
“always.”
you couldn’t help the cheeky smile forming as you grabbed his face— leaving small pecks all over him. even though it irritated him with your lip gloss getting all over his face, he still managed to smile and return your kisses.
“ewww yucky! ma and da is kissing.”
“oh shut up megs, and i love you guys too. my handsome boys.”
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©rissouu 2023
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