#and im so anxious i could barely fall asleep last night and woke up hours earlier than i was supposed to | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mother-snake · 4 years

Note

Thank you so much for the response to my ask! It was so so good!! 💕 I saw you posted wanting short, mostly Janus centric, ideas so maybe something nice and fluffy after I just asked to put him through angst? Maybe Thomas and the sides taking a chance to show Janus appreciation after his acceptance or something?

well short is out of the window with this one im afraid...(this one is defianately fluffier than the last by a long shot)

taggs: @idkanameatall @imma-potatoo warnings: angst words 3212

-a bold statment-

Janus had been having one of those days. He had turned off all the lights and built a small blanket fort filled with pillows and stuffed animals. Fairy lights lit up the small space and he had a book in hand.

He couldn’t focus on the book. he had been re- reading each page as he lost concentration once again. he felt frustrated, tired and just wanted whatever he was feeling to disappear.

He pulled the blanket that had been covering his lower half and moved it further up. snuggling close as possible as unwanted tears made of frustration began to prick his eyes.

He was barely cut out of his mind by a small soft knock at his door. “Janus?” Logan said, just able to be heard, “may I come in,” he asked.

He rubbed his eyes before letting the lock on the door click open. He heard the sound of the door open and close. “Janus may I turn the lights on,” Logan asked. “yes” the lights remained off.

He listened as Logan shuffled around the room and shift a little. The opening of the blanket fort was pulled back slightly, letting Janus catch a small glimpse of the logical sides face. “hello,” Logan said with a small smile. “hi,” Janus mumbled back.

The air was quiet but not tense. Logan let out a sigh before looking at the blanket fort. He was quite impressed by the way it had been built. “are you alright Janus?” he asked as he peaked a little further in. he didn’t respond, but Logan could tell the answer despite his ‘lack of emotions’ “would you like a hug?” he asked. Janus looked at him with nervousness. This didn’t feel like something Logan would do. this wasn’t something he was used to. But the offer was too enticing for him to deny. he gave a small nod to Logan and shuffled over for the logical side to make his way in.

Logan slipped in, and sat by Janus. The snake seemed to melt into the simple touch as Logan wrapped an arm around Janus. he looked over to Janus’s lap where a book sat forgotten. “a fine choice of book if I do say so myself,” Logan said. “thanks,” Janus muttered.

They sat in the quiet for a while. Janus had been trying to keep his emotions in line as the time continued. He burrowed his head into the crook of logans neck. he felt tired, but he didn’t want to sleep. His heart felt heavy. His mind had thankfully begun to slow down. his eyes began to droop as the warmth radiating from Logan. the logical side feeling like a hot water bottle or heater.

A small smile creeped Its way onto his face. Logan had stayed for who knows how long, maybe out of politeness or maybe it was kindness. Either way, it warmed his cold heart. Ever. So. Sightly. and he soon found himself falling fast asleep.

And deep down he hoped that it could last.

Logan glanced down as he felt his shoulder grow heavier. A smile appeared on his face as he looked down to see Janus fast asleep and looking calmer than he had ever seen the snake. he couldn’t find it in his heart to leave Janus. And he didn’t mind if he had to stay until he woke up. he would keep the fact that Janus’s scales had been slightly discoloured by a from of grey mixed with yellow to himself for now. --

Patton had been in the kitchen that faithful night. He had put on the kettle and sat down on a stool by the kitchen island. he hadn’t been able to sleep no matter how hard he had tried. He was beyond exhausted but no attempt had been successful.

There were soft, quiet footsteps coming from the hall. He turned to face the door and felt his eyes go wide as he saw Janus standing at the door shifting nervously. “am I not intruding?” he asked looking at Patton. “of course not kiddo,” he said patting a stool next to himself.

Janus shuffled in, not knowing what to say as he sat down as Patton stood up as the kettle stopped boiling. “would you like some tea?” he asked. “no thank you.”

“are you alright Janus? Would you like to talk about it?” Patton asked as he brought the two cups over. “I’m not fine, it wasn’t a nightmare,” he said before taking a sip of tea. “can I ask what it was about, it might help to tell someone.” “yes,” he said sternly.

Patton stayed quiet after that. he wouldn’t be getting through to Janus today. He tapped his fingers on the counter as he looked into his partially filled cup. the only sound that filled the space was a clinking of cups against the surface.

It was only when Patton looked up from his cup that he spotted it. Janus’s scales were slightly… discoloured. “Janus, do your scales normally turn blue?” he asked looking at them slightly closer. “no, they don’t always do that,” he responded with a small smile. “that’s amazing!” Patton said, stars appearing in his eyes. “you don’t think so?” Janus asked, reaching up his hand to touch his scales. “of course! Its amazing,” he said excitedly,” do you know why they do it?”

Janus’s scales had begun to change slightly a coral colour mixed in as his human side blushed. “it isn’t like a mood ring, it doesn’t help me express my emotions,” he said as he rubbed his neck.

Patton was in absolute awe. “I need to find some paper,” he said before bolting out of the room, causing Janus to let out a chuckle.

Yes, he maybe did let down his cover on his scales for Patton to see. But he knew that Patton would need cheering up.

As the minuets ticked by, Patton came back into the room with a tub of coloured pens and a sheet of paper. “I hope you don’t mind, but I want to make a chart for everyone. I feel we could use it in the future,” he said. “I suppose that will be doable,” Janus said, his nightmare forgotten about by him for now.

“hey Janus, can I let you in on a secret?” Patton whispered with a toothy grin. “very well,” “logans eyes do something similar, just look at the rim of his iris,” he hushed at Janus.

And that’s how they spent the next several hours. With Patton bouncing questions off Janus and creating a mood chart that he would then hang in the Livingroom by the date calendar. Janus wouldn’t say it. but it felt nice to be listened to. Even if it was just answering a few questions.

He hoped that this could last. --

He it wasn’t a good day from the get go. He had woken up late, got piled behind work and skipped both breakfast and lunch.

He was stressed and about ready to begin crying over the fact his pen had stopped working when he felt a presence in his room. he rubbed his eyes before he heard the person speak. “come on Jannie, you need a break,” Virgil?

He turned to face the anxious side. his eyeshadow wasn’t dark like it had been when he was in the deceitful side’s permease

“I'm not fine.” He said as he reached for another pen. “dam right you’re not fine, Janus. Your scales are going grey from stress. Please take a break,” Virgil said, “you haven’t eaten anything all day. Eat and then ill let you get back to whatever this… is?” he said looking down at the barely legible hand writing.

“no,” “great, come on. romans making dinner tonight,” he said as he pulled Janus up from his seat.

As soon as he left the smell of mac and cheese filled his nose, a small grumble came from his stomach. To his misfortune, Virgil had apparently heard. Virgil kept up with the pace and they were in the commons much sooner than Janus would have liked to be. “where aren’t the others?” he asked, noticing a very empty table. “ah, its just us three today. The others have gone to Remus’s imagination believe it or not,” “not including Patton?” he asked surprised.

“yeah, our dear father whisked away by my brother and the dear nerd,” roman said as he peaked his head from the kitchen door, “food’s ready,” he stated with a wink.

As they ate, roman and Virgil began to talk about the recent events that had occurred today. “what do you think of Mr. Flores Janus?” roman said looking over. “I'm afraid I don’t really have an opinion on the matter,” he said, taking another bite from his food. “oh come now, surely you must have,” roman said with a raised eyebrow.

Janus didn’t say anything for a brief moment before he was startled as the prince yelped in pain grabbing his knee. “you don’t have to answer Janus,” Virgil said, wary of the purple shifting scales. “well, I don’t thank you for the meal but I best finish up my work,” Janus said as he stood up. “try and get some sleep tonight, okay?” Virgil said before bringing Janus into a hug, surprising the deceitful side greatly.

As they pulled back, he Janus almost felt his heart lift as he saw the bright purple eyeshadow under the eyes of Virgil. God, how long had it been since they had done that. they must have been around seven the last time he witnessed that.

He had enjoyed the company and break, but he knew he needed to get back to work before Thomas suffered because of the pile up. but for now, he would just enjoy the fact his friend was becoming his old self once more.

He hoped that this could last. --

Two days later he had a heavy knocking at his door followed by a sort of exited screech.

He let the lock on his door go and Remus burst into the room with a wicked grin before faltering slightly. “what the fuck are you doing on the floor?” he asked. “definitely not wallowing in self-pity and doubt. You?” he said sarcastically.

Remus scowled as he looked at his friend on the floor. Looks like today was going to be one of those days. “okay dip shit. Grab as many blankets as you can carry,” Remus said as he plucked Janus up from the floor by the arms. “why?” Janus asked, concern plastered all over his face.

“were taking over the commons today, and they can’t fucking stop us!” he cackled as he grabbed an armful of blankets from the floor.

It took far longer than either would admit, but it did look impressive. Remus in the end had to summon more blankets for the inside, but that just meant Janus had more blankets for future times of need. So, he wasn’t exactly complaining.

They crept inside and Janus immediately flopped down onto a pile of soft and warm blankets. Remus sat by his side and ran a hand through his hair. “when was the last time you had one of these days?” Remus asked, “because I feel like it’s been fucking ages.” “beginning of the week n yesterday,” he mumbled into the pile of blankets. “and you didn’t say anything?” Remus said almost annoyed, “you realise the others and me would be more than happy to led you all their limbs right?” he said as he ruffled Janus’s fluffed up hair. “I don’t know,” he said exasperated, “I just totally want to put all my issues on all of theirs, cause that’s so fair.”

Remus stared at him with a scowl for a couple seconds before a lightbulb lit up in his head. Oh boy, Janus was going to kill him for this.

“give me a couple minuets will you dear snakey?” said side watched as Remus left their blanket fort. A small pool of worry began to build up in his chest. had he offended Remus?

He wasn’t expecting for the sides to trickle in one at a time however. first was roman who quickly placed himself next to Janus, then Virgil who threw a blanket over Janus. The familiar scent of coffee and lavender seemed to somehow put his mind slightly at ease. then came Logan with a book in hand. he sat down a bit away, but he knew that the other was concerned. The blue rimmed brown eyes showing that he was himself in slight distress.

Then came Patton and Remus. Patton was holding a tray of cookies and a couple cups, whereas Remus came in with what he assumed to be a pot of tea.

Remus placed himself on the opposite side of Janus as the side sat up slightly before leaning over and whispering to the snake. “told you they cared,” he said with a victorious smirk.

For the first time in for a long time he felt himself just relax as he felt a hand run through his hair. The warmth and love that surrounded him seemed so real.

He hoped that this would last. --

It had been a week later. The other sides popping their heads in when he was beginning to overwork himself so they could get him to take a break. Patton had found himself occasionally staying up with Janus when neither could sleep and sharing secrets about the other sides. They shared stories from after the mind palace split into the two segments. Giving stories that would have seemed impossible to anyone else.

Logan would often join Janus reading in the Livingroom early in the morning when no one else was awake.

Roman and Remus had begun to take him out into the imagination so he could get some natural heat from the sun. he had found himself happier on those days.

Virgil would often wrap him in a blanket when his scales would begin to show that he was slipping slightly.

But despite all they did for him. He still didn’t know why he felt so… alone? Was that the right word? there was normally an empty feeling in his chest, sometimes when he got too overwhelmed and cried it would appear. He would lose his ability to feel. And he didn’t like it. not one bit.

Maybe he shouldn’t have been so surprised when he was summoned. But being lost in a pile of work and in his pyjamas was the last way he had ever wanted to see Thomas. Yet caught up in work, he didn’t even realise he had been summoned.

“Janus, are you okay?” Thomas asked looking down at his side. “hu?” he looked up and around the room. it was just him, Thomas and…Nico. Oh.

“well… this was certainly unexpected,” Janus said,” don’t worry Thomas, just got caught up in my work. nothing else,” he said before snapping his fingers. his papers went back to his room and his normal attire replaced the black and yellow snake themed pyjamas he had been previously wearing.

“so, you are Thomas’s deceit?” “indeed, it’s a pleasure to meet you in person Nico,” he said with a smile.

“wait- Janus… since when did your scales change colour?” Thomas asked as he looked at them with almost the same curiosity Patton had. “ah, yes. I forgot you didn’t know about that,” he said, wincing at the fact he had actually forgotten himself.

Nico stared at the two’s small interaction. “so, do you know why they change colour?” he asked. “imagine a mood ring,” Janus said with a fake smirk, he was ready to bolt at a second’s notice.

Apparently, the fact that he said that had caused Nico to give him a small smile, “not enjoying this?” “I don’t tend to like confrontation unannounced. I preferred to be warned about these things so I'm prepared,” he muttered, giving a small glare at Thomas.

Nico let out a chuckle, “ill remind him next time if this happens again,” he said with a wide smile.

Janus gave a small nod before beginning to sink down. “wait, before you go,” Thomas said, “I haven’t seen you in a while. I hope you’re okay Janus,”

Janus was taken back by what he had said but he knew his answer, “some days are always harder than others, but I think I'm going to be fine Thomas, goodbye,” he said as he sunk down.

“you think he’ll be alright?” Nico asked. “eh, knowing the others, they’ll make sure of it,” he chuckled lightly.

Janus rose back up to his room, but he didn’t go straight back to work. Nope. He gathered a couple blankets and made his way to the commons where he made a small cocoon for himself and decided it was time for a nap. it was always warmer out here than in his room.

A warm feeling spread in his chest. covering him completely in a feeling he hadn’t felt in such a long time. hope.

Hope that the future would be okay. That for now everything was okay and he didn’t need to worry so much about Thomas.

He hoped that it would last. --

-two weeks ago-

Every side (other than Janus) and Thomas Were gathered in the real living room for a small meeting. the topic, of course being about the one person who wasn’t there.

“so, I take it we called this meeting for the same reasons? Right?” Patton said, pulling at the sleeves of his cardigan that was wrapped around his shoulders. “I believe so,” Logan said.

“do you two know much about why Janus maybe trying to push us away?” Thomas asked looking over to Virgil and Remus. “its… been like this since we were children. After the mindspace split he sort of just… Closed down. It was around that time he began to lie,” Virgil said meekly.

“the fucker would hide away most the time, but still kept an eye on the louder dark sides. Like a parental figure, but more babysitter than anything else,” Remus said boring his eyes into Thomas’s head.

“so, he’s been like this… for years?” roman Virgil nodded and pulled his legs up onto the sofa, “I don’t think he is aware that he’s no longer there. That he’s safe with us,” he said looking at Remus.

“what do you mean?” Patton asked nervously. “some of the others were known to get. Violent over nothing… he tried his best to keep us away from them,” he said reluctantly, “I just think over the first couple months, he took what they said to heart.”

Everyone remained quiet. Trying to process what was told. every part of their minds seemed to link as one as a single thought coursed into their minds. “well then, looks like we’ve got a lot of work to do. but for now, let’s make sure Janus knows he is welcomed then? Shall we?” roman said as he stood up from his place on the floor.

They looked at one another and nodded. they would make sure Janus knew they’d always be there for him. That would never change.

#sander sides #janus sanders #ts spoilers #nico flores #Virgil sanders #Roman sanders #remus sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #angst #fluff #a request has been written!

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dalamjisung · 4 years

Text

in one year ❀ im jaebeom

word count: 2952

genre: fluff

pairing: reader x im jaebeom

description: a lot can happen in a year. this is what happened in yours.

Common love isn't for you. You knew that even before Jaebeom, and you know that now, with Jaebeom.

You two first met when you got hired as the new Marketing Assistant, taking on their upcoming tour as your first project. No once could deny the connection in between you two; the feelings were strong enough to be felt by everyone around you, be it good or bad. You smile as you remember meeting them for the first time.

“Come and get it, GOT7!”

Everything was happening too fast; just two minutes ago you were walking through the entrance doors to meet your new boss, and now here you were, with the seven boys smiling at you.

“We’re GOT7,” One of them continues with a small smile. “I’m GOT7’s leader, Im Jaebeom. I hope you’ll take care of us!”

They all bow in synchrony and you take a step back, suddenly intimidated. You were their new Marketing employee, meaning you were in charge from merchandise sales to album cover approvals. They had to captivate the fans hearts, and you had to captivate their wallets. It was suddenly too real– you had a job. A real job, in the real world. And those seven real boys’ future was in your hands.

“H-Hi,” You bow back to them. “I’m Y/N… It’s an honor to work with you all. Let’s build something great, yeah?”

The cheer that follows makes you blush and recoil into yourself. With the corner of your eyes you see Jaebeom watching you closely, and you straighten your back. You wanted to make a good impression, but you couldn’t help but feel like you were in way above your head.

“Hey,” Jaebeom comes closer. “We’ll help you the best we can. We’re a team now. Let’s build something great.”

Together, you created something much more than just great– you created something phenomenal. As you got your work done, you couldn’t help but grow closer to the boys– you were a true believer that since this is their tour and their career, they had the final word on every single project you took on. That made Jaebeom trust you like he trusted no one else; you respected his team, his family. In return, he respected you and your hard work. He’d often see you pulling all nighters as he left to the dorms and found you in the same spot, coffee cups next to you, when he got back in the morning. He knew GOT7 was in good hands, and after a while, you knew it too.

You confidence grew as time passed. The tour sold out, and so did their limited merchandise line you pitched to the Creative Director. The fast pace in which your name started to grow within the company was like no other; you had it in you, true talent. It made Jaebeom proud when, during team dinners– a rule you created so that you could talk to them more freely,– you’d shyly mumble some praise someone told you or a promotion you had been nominated for.

“That’s our girl!” Jackson screamed during dinner, raising his beer glass. “Climbing that corporate ladder one step at a time!”

You laugh in the endearing way you usually did– head throw and all,– and raised your glass, clinking it with theirs. Tonight marked six months since you’ve got assigned to GOT7, and as you were celebrating you guys’ anniversary, you told them about the meeting you had with JYP this afternoon.

“But noona,” Yugyeom whines, frowning. “Does that mean you’ll stop working with us?” “Don’t worry about that Yugy,” You chuckle, stretching your arm far enough to be able to hold his hand and give it a firm squeeze. “I’m not going anywhere. Being Marketing Director just means I’ll have the final say in all projects assigned to GOT7, which means you have the final say in all projects assigned to GOT7.”

The boys cheer once again, laughing and joking about overthrowing Park Jinyoung from the CEO throne and putting in their own Park Jinyoung. You laugh and, in a moment of weakness, you look at Jaebeom. He has a smile on his face– the kind of smile you give to a loved one, small and contained, but strong and concentrated,– and his eyes were looking down at his cup. He shook his head and when his eyes met yours, you offer him a smile, and a blush. It was no secret that your affection for the hardworking leader grew every day; it was the company’s joke that you two would end up together, just like in one of the fan’s fanfictions. You two always shook your head and denied all allegations, but you knew he felt it too– the pull.

He raises his glass slightly; another toast, just for you.

You nod in recognition, and, later that night, when you’ve drunk one beer too many, and he had to take you home, before he could leave, you grabbed his wrist and pulled him back to you.

“Stay.”

Needless to say you were horrified once you woke up. You laugh, as memories of your past flood your brain. You could practically feel the weight of his arm around your waist as you jumped out of the bed with a shriek, making him tumble to the side and fall on his shoulder, groaning in pain. After that, you both awkwardly made breakfast and before you could say anything, Jaebeom was out of the door. The frustration that came with the next couple of weeks was something you were not ready for; Jaebeom ignored and avoided you with every chance he got.

You shake your head, putting the lasts items in your bag as the memory of your first fight replayed in your mind.

“Im Jaebeom!”

Your voice echoed in the empty dancing room, and the surprise was such that he even let out a scream, turning around with wide eyes and a hand over his heart.

“What the fuck are you doing?” You seethed, marching in the room after slamming the door shut.

“…rehearsing?” He mumbles, sounding more like a question than an answer.

“Don’t play dumb with me now, mister,” You whisper, grabbing the front of his sweaty t-shirt and pulling him closer to you– close enough to touch your nose to his. “You’ve been avoiding me for a week, now! Are you insane? I have two projects to give back to JYP that I need your approval for, but I can’t get it, now, can I? Cause you won’t fucking talk to me! Okay, I get it! You think that night was a mistake, and I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry if I made you stay and sleep over and take care of me but goddammit, you could’ve just said no! Or left! It would’ve hurt less than what you’re doing right now, you fucking asshole. The worst part of it all is that I miss you– I still fucking miss you laughing at Jackson’s stupid jokes during lunch, or screaming at Bam for getting the choreography wrong. So honestly, get your act together, because if I have to listen to Yugyeom cry one more time because he thinks I’m going to leave because of this stupid fight, I’ll bash your face in. We’re professionals. Deal with it.”

And this time, you are the one that leave.

You made him taste his own medicine. You ignored Jaebeom in any setting outside of work for three days– and that’s all he could take before showing up to your apartment.

You open the door with a sigh, ready to just grab your pizza and wallow in your misery. You’ve just been rejected by the man you had steadily been nurturing feeling for, and sure, it was al partially your fault– you let yourself go, first, admiring his love for his members, and then, his love for your. You shone under his proud gaze when you’d tell him about another successful meeting; you basked under his smile as his hand found your head and patted you affectionately; and you grew under his laugh as you told him a joke that Jackson had just taught you minutes earlier. You slowly fell in love with Im Jaebeom and you knew about it; you knew about it from when it started to when it ended.

But it couldn’t just end like that, could it? Not with you two. So obviously, he had to show up at your door.

“What are you doing here?” You sigh, and you sound defeated. Your shoulders are fallen and your voice is tired, and you know he knows it too.

“I fucked up.”

“Yes, you did,” You look at him and you feel anxious, noticing the panic in his eyes. Jaebeom hardly ever showed his emotions, so for you to be able to catch that, something must’ve been wrong.

“I’m sorry.”

“Forgiven,” You hate yourself for how easily you gave in, but you just couldn’t– you couldn’t not have him in your life. “Go home Jaebeom, it’s late.”

“Can I stay?”

This question carried much more than it sounded like it did, and you knew it. If you said no, then that would’ve been it– the last of you and Jaebeom. You’d have to work with him and see him and talk to him and laugh with him, but you’d never really be with him. This couldn’t happen.

“Yes.”

His mouth is on yours before you can say anything else, and for the rest of the night, Jaebeom showed you how sorry he was.

That night you learned what it was like to feel truly wanted; truly loved. Jaebeom apologized over and over again and you let him, forgiving him time and time again. He made you feel like the most precious diamond on Earth, rare and delicate and strong, and nothing could ever compare to that. For the next month, you got to observe your relationship blossom, and your love grow. You got to learn more about Jaebeom, and you even learned some new things about yourself.

The taxi drops you at the airport, an hour before your flight, and you rush through security, barely making it for boarding, but nothing could stop you know. This had been planned a month ago, and it’s been too long. Way too long. Today marked exactly two years since you’ve met GOT7… and exactly one year since Jaebeom asked you to be his girlfriend.

“Babe?” You call out, entering the dark apartment. Jaebeom had texted you a couple of hours ago asking you to come over and you said that as soon as you were done with work you’d swing by. You hear fait meows coming from the main bedroom and you quietly make your way over, careful to not wake him up in case he was actually asleep.

“No, Cake, come on,” You hear angry mumbling and you chuckle as he talked to his cats. “Nora, tell your siblings to stay put! Y/N should be here anytime now and–“ You open the door upon hearing your name and the scene in front of you is precious. Jaebeom is kneeling on his mattress, next to a sunflower bouquet, trying to make his cats stand still around him. The all freeze at your presence, though, and you have to ask what’s going on before any of them could move.

“Uh…” Jaebeom lets go of Cake, who now lays on its back, waiting for her daily tummy pets she got from you. “Surprise?”

“Surprise, indeed,” You laugh. “What’s going on?”

“W-Well,” Jaebeom stutters, and you know. You know what’s coming and you shake in excitement. You’ve been waiting months for this. “I– no, we wanted to know if you’d like to join us? I know I’m very busy, and that you are very busy, too, and that we have to try really hard to see each other, but I think we’ve been doing great so far, and we’re a small family of one man and five cats, and we’d love to add you to this little thing of ours… and I wanted to know if I could finally call my mom and tell her that I got a girlfriend. Or not; not call her and not have a girlfriend, completely up to you… yeah…”

Only Im Jaebeom could talk about his mom when asking someone to be his girlfriend and still be charming. “I’d love to join your little family,” You whisper, smiling wide and jumping on the bed, trying to avoid man and cats, and failing miserably as you fall on top of Jaebeom. “I love you.”

“And I love you,” He whispers and kisses you passionately. Just as things escalated, he pulled back, too abruptly for you to not whine about it. “But I meant it; I need to call my mom.”

“No,” You complain. “More kisses.”

“She’s been trying to set me up with these weird girls and–“

“Call your mom right this instant.”

The flight lasts only an hour and your body buzzes as you pass through security, following the boys agent back to where they were.

“He's gonna be over the moon when he finally sees you,” He laughs from the driver’s seat. “We’ve done a pretty good job of not telling his anything, even though Bambam almost ruined everything a few times.”

You laugh. “Are they in the hotel?”

“No,” The man shakes his head. “They are in the arena going through sound check. I already give the drive to the video crew, though, so as soon as you hear the song, just walk in.”

“Got it,” You smile nervously. “I hope he’s surprised.”

“Oh, believe me, he will be. They have been very discouraged these days; they are tired and a lot happened and I think this is just what they all need to remember.”

“Remember what?”

“Everything.”

“Remember?” You ask, sniffling as you caressed Jaebeom’s face on your computer.

“Remember what, love?” He asks, voice tired from all the concerts they’ve been playing.

“Everything,” And you let your tears falls. “Remember everything, will you? All the nights we spent talking, and all the fights we’ve had. Don’t forget a single detail, Im Jaebeom! Don’t forget me, okay?”

“Baby,” He chuckles, and even though he is smiling, you know how hard this is on him; having you so far away, crying because he’s just not there. “Just two more months, yeah? And then I’ll be home, in your arms.”

“I miss you so fucking much,” You sob, and this is so unfair. You wished you could go with him, but JYP assigned you to ITZY’s debut album while GOT7 was touring the world. He said the girls could use your magical brain for a successful launch to their career. “I just want you.”

“And I want you too,” He says forcefully. “Miss you. Love you.”

“Love you.”

That was two weeks ago. JYP had been made aware of the problems GOT7 was facing. How tired they were while dancing; how discouraged they sounded while singing; how irritated they got while resting. It was a mess, and so, pulling out of your assignment, he gave you a week off of work, allowing you enough time to go visit Jaebeom and the boys. You were there to remind them why they were doing all of this; why they were there. You even made a video, with pictures and compilations of moments you’ve had together. To fit two years of friendship in a video had been hard, but to also fit one year of dating had been almost impossible. But you did it. For them, you’d always do it.

“Okay, we’re here.”

Security guided you to the back of the arena, since when the video started, the boys would have their backs to the main entrance, thought the audience. And just as discussed, as soon as you heard the familiar tune of ‘Lullaby’ started, you tiptoed to closer to the stage, hearing their surprised gasps and laughter throughout their mics as pictures of you all in restaurants and parks passed through.

There it was; your story with them. Your family. Pictures of you and Jinyoung on a bookstore, and of you and Yugyeom at the zoo. There were videos of the boys dancing at the arcade and videos of birthday songs. There were videos of you and Jaebeom’s cats and pictures of you and Coco. You weren’t sure if it was you or them, but you could definitely hear someone crying.

Just as the video ended, you laughed, quietly and to yourself, trying not to ruin the surprise. There was a minute of silence before you smile and say, as softly as you could, “Hi, loves!”

They all turn together, and their synchronization doesn’t fail to spook you.

“Noona!” Yugyeom shouts, running to you and hugging you. You felt tears falling on your shoulders and you chuckle.

“Hi, you big baby,” You say, patting his hair.

You make your rounds, hugging each and every one of the boys, until you got to him. He was sitting down, hands over his face, shoulders shaking from the strength of his sobs. You kneel in front of him, pulling him by the wrists and his arms go around you instead, pulling you into his lap.

“I love you so fucking much,” He sobs on your neck. “I missed you.” “I missed you too, Jaebeom,” You whisper, caressing his hair. “I love you too. I’m here; it’s okay. Everything will be okay.”

“It will now,” He says and kisses you, ignoring the loud cheering from the boys. “Happy one year, Y/N.”

“Best year of my life,” You smile. “Happy one year.”

-------------------------

hello!!!! I am sorry for the absence, but college demands a lot from me hahah I hope you like this nonetheless! I’m a few minutes lates, but happy valentine’s! Love you all! Let me know what you think in the comments :) it means the world ❤️

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raleigh-ocean · 4 years

Text

a surprise that comes squared | medium gang

after four years from the aftermath of Roanoke, in which Audrey and Shelby managed to survive, everything started to go to better as the years went by

obviously there were things that put all upside down, mostly because people grow as time pass by and at times some surprises come along the way

by the time the end of the summer of 2020 arrived, a lot of things had happened already

Billie Dean Howard eloped to her long time partner, Dara Ann Lynch, and before that they both kept a relationship with Audrey Tindall that ended after the two of them married but having them three as the closest friends as result; and Dahlia Deen and Shelby Miller started to finally date a year prior, moving together and trying to live their life.

and then Dahlia, one good morning, woke up to a message of one of her favourite cousins, telling her she was back home for a few days and wanted her to meet someone special for her

a cousin that wasn’t Dara, which lived two hours away and Dahlia already knew how very much she loved her wife

but talking about the devil, Dara messaged Dahlia about their cousin that was coming home a second later and then Dahlia, sleepy eyes and all, managed to type an unsure plan

one that revolved around a little gathering in Dahlia and Shelby’s new home, the latter still very much asleep and very much unaware of what her girlfriend was doing

after two light coffees and a too long phone call with Dara, which Dahlia adored a lot but damn that woman and her planning skills, Dahlia got herself on kitchen duty for the special day and also as hostess and it’s not even nine in the morning and Dahlia is really sure Shelby is gonna freak out

spoiler: Shelby did freak out

spoiler: Billie, in Dara’s side, laughed her ass off when her wife told her Shelby freaked out

but now everything was settled and, with their cousin, Dara and Dahlia started to plan how things would work and who’s gonna pick up their cousin from the airport (that was quickly adverted by said cousin, telling them not to worry about it because she will rent a car) and where they were going to sleep (another don’t worry because their cousin were getting a room in a hotel in Santa Monica but would gladly take the offer to sleep in Dahlia’s apartment the first night which Dara responded she also wanted her to come to her apartment, so their cousin agreed to it too)

spoiler: Billie freaked out to that last one bit, because their apartment was very much tinier than Dahlia and Shelby’s

spoiler: Shelby laughed her ass off because ‘HAHA take that bitch’

and then THEN, in between all the planning and the hows, whens, wheres, Shelby trying to see how they were going to fit 6 people in their tiny living room table, Billie planning how to fucking fit another couple in their FUCKING LIVING ROOM DARA ANN LYNCH WHAT THE FUCK

away of the mayhem

Audrey was living her life, going here and there, resting most of the time, going to therapy when she was appointed, talking with her agent to see if they could try again and find maybe a bigger role? she was even trying to read some theater in case the spark was still there in her heart

and in between her calm daily life, she got a call from one of her favourite persons in the world so far: Dahlia Deen.

“Drey? Ahm...I was calling you because we are having a small dinner party at home because one of my oldest cousins is coming to visit us, Dal and Billie Dean are coming and I know you three are close...and maybe you want to come? I’m going to cook my vegan lasagna and all.”

Dahlia always trying to not push Audrey into anything she didn’t want was one of the sweetest things her best friend did for her

and f u c k that Dahlia’s vegan lasagna was to die for

“Of course sweetheart, tell me more about it.”

when the phone call ends, Audrey has already Billie on speed dial to ask her if they are going together in the same car and other banal stuff as ‘do we have to bring something more?’ or ‘i’m pretty sure Shelby won’t like a bit that, Bills’ or ‘oh god ARE YOU TWO FOR REAL IM CALLIng tOMorroW’

for Audrey the days until the dinner passed ever so slow, to be honest, because for some reason she’s excited and at the same time a bit scared

that one last part because her nor Billie nor Dara had told Dahlia about them being a thing till not long ago, long as in until the couple eloped, but they three wanted to tell Dahlia eventually and maybe Billie thought this was a good time? since they were all gonna be together

but mostly she’s excited because she’s gonna see her best friend after months of only messages and the casual video call here and there

(and maybe she has missed Shelby a bit too, a tiny bit, really tiny tiny bit, a bit she wasn’t going to admit ever in her life)

for a second Audrey wondered which cousin was, because she knew for a fact in Dara and Dahlia’s family they were a fkn bazillion (after four years, she got also adopted by their family as if she was one more of them), but she kept that question to herself

the day finally arrived and Billie and Dara went to pick her up in order to start the 2h trip a) she knew they were gonna make it in 1h30 as soon as she was buckled up in the back seat, and b) any worry about the new cousin or what was she gonna eat at Dahlia’s banished in order to pray Dara made them arrive safe

(Audrey won’t ever admit it but she much preferred Billie being the driver, as much as she recognize the other woman has the skills of a professional)

when Shelby opened the door, she almost fall backwards because Audrey hugged her like ‘god bless we are safe and here’ and then Shelby passed her to Dahlia’s more welcoming arms

after a few minutes they were all settled in the apartment, waiting for the oh so expected cousin and their someone special, Dara telling the rest they were almost there

while at it, Audrey decided to stick with Billie and talk about whatever crossed their minds, wine glasses in hand and Dara’s chatter with Dahlia and Shelby in the background

“Annie didn’t even want to tell me how she looked like” these days is more Annie than Dara for Billie and it’s a really sweet change that makes Audrey feel their love “I’m pretty sure I didn’t meet her in any other family gathering or yes and my mind can’t put a finger which one is”

“I’m sure she’s nice, I mean, everyone in their family is quite nice” is the only thing Audrey can say, pushing her shoulder a bit “but yeah, I wonder how she looks like too”

and they were at it, trying to guess blindly how this person looked like while Dara joined them to talk, when the doorbell finally ringed and all eyes were on that

the first thing they saw was this...giant woman crossing the door with a short haired brunette by her side when Shelby opened the door

and when Audrey’s mind catch up with her eyes, something clicked upon seeing the face of this tall stranger

“Billie Dean Howard, bathroom, parlor, n o w”

was the only thing she was capable of saying before dragging poor confused Billie to the bathroom, Dara laughing openly and Dahlia panicking for a second because what the fu-

however, whatever chaos started in the living room, wasn’t affecting the mood in the bathroom, that was another little chaos of its own

“Pumpkin, I’m pretty sure this is not very polite of us n-”

“Bills, I know her.”

“You know who”

“The tall woman, I know her”

“From a family gathering? I mean she’s the only one I can see being the cousin, the short one didn’t look much alike”

and then is when Billie notice how fucking anxious Audrey is and what the fuck is happening

“No, from when I came to the States”

let me tell you that made Billie even more confused and made Audrey sit in the nearest place while she took her hands

“what are you even talking about Drey? what’s going on”

“I’m trying to tell you that I FUCKED THAT WOMAn NEARLY 8 yeARS ago BILLIE DEAN HOWARD”

and Audrey’s voice was so tiny and panicked that for a second Billie think she didn’t hear her well but her friend is squeezing her hands to death

“you...did what again?”

“the cousin, Dahlia and Dara’s cousin, bloody hell, is her, I know her” Audrey is stressing herself a lot in barely a few minutes “oh good lord”

and in her nervous state, Audrey didn’t notice how Billie’s own mind has clicked upon that information and she’s trying really hard to come up with something to calm Audrey down but at the same time she wants to laugh

which is what Billie did

and Audrey stared at her in disbelief and at the same time starting to hit her with her hands because ‘it’s not funny, Howard!!!’

until Billie manage to stop and hug Audrey by her shoulders to try and give her some kind of speech to help her calm down

‘it’s okay Drey, don’t fret over this, I mean, it was once and....waIT NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT YOU FUCKED WITH FIVE oUT of SIX PEOPLE IN THIS HOUSE I CANNoT-oh no pumpkin DON’T CRY NO NO NO NO IT’S OKAY HEAR ME OUT it was just once right? I bet she doesn’t remember okay? Let’s try to keep quiet and if it’s too much we can have a ciggie break outside here and there, alright?’

(Billie is the only one in the world right now that knows every detail (except this one) about Audrey, per example, that she had an affair with Dahlia 5 years ago and, while both Audrey and Shelby were healing in Dahlia’s house after Roanoke, that she and Shelby had angry sex because they couldn’t stand each others guts)

after a few minutes Billie managed to calm Audrey down enough to get them out of the bathroom, going back to the cheerful chatter in spanish of the three cousins, more like Dara and the cousin while Dahlia was trying to escape the bear hug she was getting from said cousin

and then the rest finally notice they’re back and this tall woman (even taller than both Dara and Dahlia and anyone in that room for a matter of fact) gets a mischievous grin all over her lips and reaching her eyes

“So you are the one that have our Dal wrapped around her fingers, I saw you on television a few times when she told me you invited her to your program,” the woman leans to kiss Billie’s cheeks, making Billie laugh “Danna Bishop, finally a pleasure to meet you.”

Danna is all smiles and pure warmth and then her light brown eyes finally met Audrey...

...and she waits for someone to say something, a glint in her eyes as if she was recognizing her, but Audrey is not really sure because she’s still really anxious and Dahlia is actually the one that says something

“She’s Audrey Tindall, Drey this is our oldest cousin.”

when Danna shakes Audrey’s hand, her free hand enveloping their both, some of the memories together came to her head but also the simplicity of the gesture is capable of bringing her back to Earth

“Danna, a pleasure,” then the short haired brunette comes in view after Billie has greet her and Danna looks at her like she’s the brightest star “This is Ally, my girlfriend.”

and from that? everything seemed to go smoothly

they did manage to fit 7 adults in the tiny living room table, Shelby even decided to sit across her for once while Audrey is in a sandwich between Billie and Dara and Dahlia is one of the heads of the table along Ally in the other, so that makes Danna take the seat by Shelby and almost across Audrey too

they share food (Dahlia’s vegan lasagna, Shelby’s salad and Dara has made salty small pasties and for dessert Ally bought chocolate cake and that’s why they arrived a bit late) and also they share a couple bottles of wine so far (the only one that isn’t drinking at all is Dara, and Shelby after one glass stopped) and soon everything feels homie

and it melts the anxiety in Audrey’s body and she’s enjoying the anecdotes around the table (how Danna and Ally met, Dara’s last craziness in her job (which Audrey didn’t know which was at this point), Billie telling them about this spooky house that was just: spooky in the end, Shelby finally recognizing why Ally felt so familiar and getting everyone :0 when they knew she was a fkn Senator) and she’s mostly okay, because Billie has her arm draped in the back of her chair, telling her she’s there for her at the same time she’s drunkenly teasing and making some heavy remarks and sweet nothings to Dara, using her as a shield from the rest of the table; and Dara’s chair is touching Audrey’s chair so she can be closer

and then, when there’s a moment of drunk silence in the table, Audrey makes eye contact with Danna again and she knows she’s happier and comfier because she got four glasses of wine and

“it’s really good to see you Audrey, eight years passed well for you”

the silence deepens then and Audrey feels like a deer caught in traffic lights

until a wasted Billie starts to laugh her ass off so so hard it confuses everyone in the table more while Audrey’s soul is already leaving her body

because Danna did recognized her but it seemed she felt how nervous and worried the other woman was and decided to play it safe, play it dumb because she remembers how bad Audrey’s nerves are, since they did NOT fuck only once and got involved a bit longer and then Billie wheezes hard

“I WAS TRYING TO FORGET THAT AUDREY TOLD ME IN THE BATHROOM YOU TWO FUCKED AND NOW THIS”

Shelby is trying to fucking drill holes in Audrey’s skull like ‘what the fuck is going on’ and Ally is confused and Dahlia and Dara’s are gaping really hard and Danna is contently indulging in nice memories, hands over her belly

“RAISE YOUR HAND THOSE WHO GOT WITH DREY”

Billie can’t get more annoying because she’d probably pass out and go into coma if she’s keeps drinking

but everyone in the table is way too in shock and the cake, not the one in the middle of the table half eaten but all the secrets, is out when all the table except obviously Audrey AND Ally don’t have the hand up

Dahlia looks at Shelby “SHELBY!?”

and Shelby is coughing hard because she was trying to hide by drinking water but it went down the wrong pipe but she wants to give a immediate response “IT WAS JUST HATE SEX, WE WEREN’T TOGETHER AT THE TIME AND YOU PASSED OUT IN THE COUCH AFTER WORK AND-”

and then the mayhem begins

everyone is talking at the same time, facts being thrown here and there (”POR EL AMOR DE DIOS DAHLIA, WE ARE ADULTS WHAT’S WEIRD ABOUT A THREESOME FROM TIME TO TIME”, “I DON’T KNOW!? MAYBE THAT YOU WERE FUCKING MY BEST FRIEND??? I JUST THOUGHT YOU THREE WERE JUST FRIENDS”, “hate sex, Miller? you truly are that type?”, “Howard, I’m about to fucking punch in the face”) and at some point Dahlia snatched the half bottle of wine from the table and start chug on it until it’s empty, and Ally is looking at the mess like ówò while holding her glass in case someone take it away

Dara is like ‘I think I need more wine’ because the shock is too much

and Danna, who’s now trying to keep quiet so everyone forgets about her, is like “I think Lia drank it all” and Billie is wiping her tears of laughter “now you’re missing out Ally, Drey” and Dara is like “Billie Dean shut up oh fucking lord” and Shelby is just “i’m leaving’ and escape to the bathroom and suddenly yells “WHY IS THIS TOWEL IN THE FLOOR!? HOWARD!?” and Billie is so fkn smug bc she left it there weirdly prompted as a joke

Ally is having the time of her life even while confused tbh, because she’s used to the calmness of her home and her daily life with Oz and since Danna came into her life it’s like a spark of happiness she found herself missing, and well, this is a good craziness and an absolute coincidence

and Dahlia is in hysterics because “when did YOU and her happen” trying to point between Dara and Audrey and Dara is ówò because well what did her expect of her when Billie was getting down on Audrey in that way? and it makes her go like “i’m about to yeet myself out of the window, we’re in a fifth”

but everything starts to get overwhelming for Audrey and the first one to notice is Billie because she’s deadly silent and has a face that tells that it’s not funny at all and she takes her hand to get her to the balcony, trying to not think about the mess in the living room, making Audrey to settle in her lap and sharing a cigarette so Audrey can calm down and feel better, caressing her back with care

Audrey knows Billie is barely holding herself together, but she’s pushing the drunk haze away to make her feel good, and she thanks her for that a lot because it was supposed to be fun and not mayhem she couldn’t handle

and then a soft voice comes from the balcony door and “i’m sorry i made you have a breakdown...I was just...Audrey, I was glad to see you well, because I heard about what happened to you but I didn’t have any way to contact you...and well, didn’t expect you knowing my family, I-well, I’m saying a lot well, but I’m not the one that’s around often...”

Audrey looks up to Danna as if she was the answer of all her problems and yeah, she’s pretty used to Billie or Dahlia being the ones that handle her the best, but getting that softness and real concern from someone is always more overwhelming

“can I do something for you? I don’t think you want vodka, they forgot about the wine, and well Dara and Dahlia seem russians like right now and maybe there isn’t much vodka left”

“can I get a hug?”

Danna just smiles like she’s the sun, “that i can do for sure” and then Audrey is off Billie’s lap and wrapped in a big mama bear hug that leaves her sobbing like a child, her breakdown starting to melt away while a drunk Billie goes inside to check on everything

“i’m happy you found yourself comfortable with these two, and their chosen ones,” Danna doesn’t let go of Audrey, caressing her back with care, and Danna is chuckling because she’s hearing them fist fight drunkenly while Billie and Shelby try to stop them “Life, mhm? who would think we’ll find each other again.”

it’s the most heartwarming thing Audrey felt in a while, being completely honest, so she just gives in and starts to forget what makes her anxious, and then she hears a new voice in the balcony and Ally is there, looking at them with shyness

“ahm i think we are all going to sleep here,” Danna still doesn’t let go enterely of Audrey, just resting her arm around her shoulders, when Ally catch their attention and she smiles at them “Your cousins are totally hammered and miss Howard ahm i think she just has the bathroom all by herself and Shelby is...I think she’s stress cleaning? I don’t know,” Ally laughs lightly and it only makes Danna to beam up even more, squeezing Audrey by her shoulders. “everything okay here?”

“I think so, sweetheart, just needed some fresh air...oh wait, why don’t we go get some ice cream to the 24h? wine always makes me crave for chocolate ice cream,” then she finally walks towards Ally, kissing her ever so sweetly in the cheek, and turn around to look at Audrey “what do you say? wanna come with us?”

and the invitation is so alluring? stepping out of the apartment and the chaos but then there’s this...something in her chest, that says to her that she better decline the offer to let the couple be by themselves for a while

“I think i’m gonna check on Billie and maybe help Shelby, if she doesn’t end up throwing a plate at me”

“okay, okay, then we’ll bring you some ice cream...strawberry, right?”

Audrey nods (how could she remember that?) and then the couple is off to the store, living her to whatever she has to do and she feels a kind of closure? like, she doesn’t feel bad now that they talked, she feels pretty calm, so she decides to hurry and check on Billie before Shelby forbid them all to ever coming to the house again

and when Ally and Danna are walking without knowing where is the nearest store, but they are walking arm in arm contently and Ally just says “I’m glad I came along, this is the most fun I had in two years” and Danna laughs too openly, warming her heart, and pulls her into a kiss because Ally gets too cute when she’s sincere “well, since i don’t plan to let you go, you better prepare for more fun because I won’t be missing Christmas this year, so what about we three comes to my family gathering?” and then Ally just says ‘okay’ with a tiny excited smile before pulling her into a new kiss that she has to get by tip toeing a bit

after the sweet mess this was, all of them end up getting a group chat and as months pass by none is a stranger anymore

and of course Audrey is invited again in Christmas, because she didn’t get plane tickets in time to go visit her parents and well, she feels welcome in the Danna, Dara and Dahlia’s big family

so now they all are in Dara’s parents home along with the whole family and Ally is having a blast there, because she start to feels like she belongs somewhere and everyone is so cheerful and happy and Oz is playing with nieces and nephews and she doesn’t have to worry because everyone has thousand eyes on them in case the younger ones of the house need something and she can finally breathe in peace

BUT OF COURSE Billie is there and well, Billie and Ally eventually get tipsy and they try to get Shelby to engage in their conversation (which she doesn’t want because she’s pretty much content eating something her father-in-law gave her and ‘please last time you pulled a too big bullshit Howard, I don’t want to get dragged)

spoiler: Shelby got dragged by drunk!BillieAlly into whatever they think was a good idea, which was playing extreme Uno

and Audrey is trying so hard to avoid drunk!Billie, just hanging out by the wine and the spaguettis and watching Shelby get dragged like ‘get rekt is your turn’ until Billie realize that

and soon she’s walking towards her friend, and Audrey gets her glass closer to her chest because she doesn’t want to take part for once of whatever Billie is thinking

“are you trying to get yourself another cousin?” and Billie shots her that teasing grin that makes her so beautiful for some stupid reason but now Audrey was drinking when she said that and now she’s spitting all the wine back to the glass

“BILLIE DEAN HOWARD”

but the argument dies before it starts because suddenly the front door opens and someone is able to talk over all the voices

“sorry we’re so late, our flight got delayed and damned the time I decided to get a taxi.”

and Billie and Audrey are now watching this new tall woman enter the house, a teenager behind her, and they can fucking swear Danna was a second ago goofing around with one of her baby nieces and not in the door?????

“Nani, about fucking time!”

well it was absolutely not Danna, because she passed Billie and Audrey by their left and now is hugging the look alike woman like her life depends on it

“Nana put me fucking down, I’ve been on a plane ten hours and I don’t exactly feel my legs.”

“Oh shut the fuck up and let me hug you,” the hug resumed and now Danna has her arms around the teenager “You rascal, come here!”

everyone is so excited about this ‘Nani’ that suddenly, Shelby and Ally are close to Billie and Audrey, a bit confused because fuck damn it they are seeing doubles??? however Ally is only there as a support because she kinda gets an idea of who she is but she only heard her voice over the phone

and as if their partners heard them, Dahlia, Dara and Danna looked at them all excited and Dahlia is happier than they ever have seen her? which makes her the first one to say something to them

“Come here you four, don’t be shy!” bold thing to say when you’re always the most shy one. “Danielle, Damien, I want you to meet Shelby, she’s my girlfriend.”

“Hey no, I’m the twin, Ally comes first in presentations!”

Twin

Danna has a twin

Audrey is froze on the spot and Billie is turning her head to look at her, with all the stars in the universe in her eyes and her mouth agape like ‘i don’t know if karma is pulling your leg or giving you a chance, either way what bliss’

“Billie Dean, N O”

but Billie is already taking her by her wrist

“BILLIE DEAN, Y E S”

(after that Audrey finally meets Danielle, which is the most serious woman she ever met but at the same time has that playfulness that the cousins have in their own weird ways)

(maybe maybe she admits Danielle is quite nice to look at, okay? but Billie is trying too hard and is a bit off putting yet at the same time Audrey wants to give it a chance to the fact that Danna’s twin is trying to be nice with her when the ‘sisters-in-law’ ball try to drag her to play extreme Uno)

(and at the end of the gathering that last the two Christmas days, when everyone is in their homes cozy and warm, there’s a new blip from the group chat)

(a blip that announces that ‘[Danielle has joined the chat]’)

#billie dean howard x original character #audrey tindall x original character x billie dean howard #audrey tindall x original character #shelby miller x original character #ally mayfair richards x original character #danielle bishop #danna bishop #dara ann lynch #dahlia deen

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pbandjesse · 4 years

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I am pretty positive I am sick. I already texted Tiffany to let her know I may not be able to come in. But I want to see how I feel in the morning. Cause I would rather not miss work. But well have to see what happens.

I was really upset last night. Me and my dad ended up talking and it was heated and emotional at times. But at a lot of misunderstandings were cleared up. And while I still feel my feelings, at least I feel more heard now. But I cried a lot. And my eyes were almost swollen shut when James got home. And then I cried more when I talked to him about it. But we stayed up a little longer to spend some time together and I had an ice pack on my eyes to try to help. But my eyes were burning real bad. Enough that it was very difficult to stay asleep. I woke up around 5 and got a cold washcloth and that helped a little and I was able to sleep until 815.

James made me toast and honestly while thats what I wanted it wasnt a very good breakfast and I was starving pretty quickly after I got to work. My eyes were hurting real bad and I wasnt looking forward to going to work but I was determined to make it a good day. I had a little kid's birthday party to run.

I got to the museum around 930 and I got all set up. I told everyone my eyes were swollen from allergies which was probably partially true. But I had to wear my glasses all day because everything hurt to look at. But I got everything set up and went to put my head down in the break room.

Soon the family was there and I helped them put out the table cloths and got paper plates and stuff. They were a really nice family. The little birthday boy was named Grant and he was turning three. And we were doing a coloring project to make a little boat. It was a lot of fun actually. The structure of the party wasnt how I expected. The mom just had everyone come to the window wall at 11 and were looking around the museum for most of the half hour before that. Thats all good but the running was not. Ah well. They were still nice.

The program was short, but everyone listened to me talk about boats for a while. Pointed out the sugar that was being unloaded over at the factory. And the boats they made were very cute. I had everyone go up on the little port display to get a group photo with their boats. It was very cute.

But I was kind of falling apart. I felt weird. So once I got everything cleaned up I went and out some of the chairs together in the breakroom and laid down. I could barely keep my eyes open. But I was also anxious and kept going to check on the party. Once everyone was done eating she let me have one of the sandwiches which was so nice of her. And that gave me the energy to finish my shift. But man was I glad to be done. Everyone said I looked off, our security guard said he'd never seen me like that before. I was honestly worried about getting home. But I needed to go to bed.

I got back here and I found James had washed my sweatshirt and so I changed and laid down.

I slept for a few hours. I woke up at 330 and was like. No and slept until 5.

I was glad the sun was still up when I woke up. And I still felt weird but not as dizzy. Still very tired and my eyes are still swollen and my throat feels tight. I think its hard because while I think Im sick, Im not like nauseous so Im like no I cant possibly be sick. I decided that I needed to wash my hair and that would make me feel better. And it helped! I still feel bad but I dont feel as scummy.

I am still not sure whats going to happen tomorrow. I would like to get groceries with James. But well see honestly. I just dont want to be sick for our trip this weekend. I think now though I am going to go ans dry my hair and get cozy.

I hope you all have a nice night. Sleep well and feel good.

#ootd #work #selfie #babe #tired #weird dog #cat #in progress #sunday

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xserpentlife · 5 years

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Peace

Requested: With fangs please! Like he knows she has bad skin especially when she’s anxious and he notices her scratching a lot lately so he takes her hands in his and calms her down and rubs his thumbs over each spot where it itches to soothe the skin??? Thank you so much!!

A/N: I first want to say that I am so sorry I have not posted. On the one hand I have been super busy with both work and family. On the other hand, I was kind of in a rut. it’s weird to say a story took a toll on me but this one kind of did. I loved the request but I just couldn’t think of how to write it. I really hope you all like this I tried to do it to the best of my ability. On another note, I hope to get into writing like I have always been on this account. I hope to be able to write more for you guys. I really want to put out at least one fic a week, but I am hoping for two. With that said I also have one FSM in my inbox and I am hoping if I get more of those I can put at least one of those out a week as well.

Warnings: Talk of anxiety

Word Count: 1586 sorry it is short I really tried to make it longer.

You dealt with it basically your entire life. You were used to it now, used to the flare-ups, scratching, and the pain that came along with them. You may have been used to it but that didn’t mean that it hurt any less. But your week had been shit already, bad days at school, terrible customers at work, basically, all the bad shit that could happen did. And throughout the week no matter what you did your eczema had started to flare up more than usual. Of course, it was probably due to the summer heat but there was nothing you could really do because you didn’t want to turn the air conditioner on. You lived with Fangs your boyfriend, he was the greatest human to live in your opinion but you never wanted to cause him trouble. Turning on the air conditioner would cost so much and he seemed comfortable you didn’t want to be the reason you both barely had money for food.

You hated your eczema more than anything in the world. To you it was embarrassing. You were overly aware of every single move you made when you would pat your skin to soothe the parts that itched. You were aware every time someone was looking at you probably assuming you were dirty. You were hyper-aware of everything this week. You felt like your mind didn’t relax once, and it didn’t help they you weren’t sleeping. Fangs wasn't home much due to jobs and you just in general couldn’t sleep without him most of the time but even more so when you were having a flare-up. The constant itching of your skin kept you up almost all night. But it was particularly bad last night. Fangs wasn’t coming home until tomorrow. You were up all night tossing and turning. You tried a bath, tried with your creams, tried everything but nothing was helping. You must have fallen asleep sometime during the night, which was a godsend considering you maybe slept 3 hours the rest of the nights this week.

You woke up the sun shining through the window and were happy because you knew that Fangs would be home early tonight for the first time this whole week. But then, of course, it started itching. You got in an oatmeal bath hoping that maybe it would soothe your skin at least a little bit, but of course, it didn’t. So you scratched. You scratched the spots that were bothering you, and you ended up scratching the spot on your wrist open and the spot on your hand. The two most visible spots you had. The other spots were bad too. You had it on the back of your knees and other locations, but of course, you had to open the two spots that were pretty painful and the ones that Fangs would be able to see. You went into your bedroom grabbing his biggest sweatshirt to cover yourself up. Your anxiety was soaring and it felt like the itching was elevating. And that is when you heard it the roar of Fang’s motorcycle. You started freaking out more not wanting him to see you the way you were. You didn’t want him to see what you had done, didn’t want him to see you, your skin the way it was. So you sat on the couch hands covered, even though it was dreadfully hot inside the trailer.

“Y/N, baby”

“Hi Fangsy” You said it from the couch, usually you would get up but you couldn’t risk it. Couldn't risk him seeing your skin, seeing what you did to yourself. He came over instantly wrapping you in a hug, but you still didn’t move from your spot.

“Baby did I do something, I uh, I’m sorry I haven’t been home”

“No babe your fine”

“Oh, are you feeling okay then”

“Yep I’m good”

“Baby why are you in my sweatshirt”

“I always wear it”

“Yeah but, it's hot as the devils balls in this trailer, how are you wearing that”

“I just am okay!”

“Okay, okay whatever you say baby. Hey, I’m gonna go take a shower, wanna join?” God did you want to but you couldn’t he’d see.

“No.”

“Oh, okay” He looked sad, defeated even. You felt terrible but you couldn’t risk it. You sat on the couch as he was in the shower sleeves covering your arms. You were moving your arm against your leg when he came out, but you hadn’t noticed him yet until he started walking over to you. His hand came down to your forehead.

“Baby your sweating what is going on, take the hoodie off, are you cold?”

“I’m not cold just leave me alone” His hands came to your waist lifting the sweatshirt over your head before you could even think. You were sat there now on the couch in your bra and panties because it was the only thing you had on under the sweatshirt. You coiled back instantly your arms tucking into yourself, but you couldn’t deny that your skin felt so much better without the fabric on it.

“Baby you gotta talk to me” You didn’t say a word as Fangs watched your every movement. Instead, you waited and he eventually walked towards the bedroom, or so you thought. Instead, he walked to the window, turning the air conditioner on.

“Fangs, no!”

“What?”

“Don’t turn it on”

“Y/N it’s fucking hot in here what is going on with you this is not good for you…” He realized it all then, putting every piece together. “I'm an idiot, come here”. He sat on the couch pulling you into him but your arms stayed the same. “Baby come on move your arms, your just gonna make it worse”

“I’m fine”

“Baby, stop” You gave up at that point his arms wrapping around yours and your face wincing in pain in which he instantly regretted his actions. “I’m sorry Y/N I didn’t mean to hurt you”

“It’s not your fault, I… I scratched open my arm it was so itchy, I’m sorry I’m so sorry”

“Why are you apologizing baby”

“Because it’s gross and…”

“Baby stop, it’s not gross shit happens. It’s genetic nothing you can do about it.”

“No it is Fangs it’s gross!”

“Baby stop” The tears welling in his eyes gave you a sense of panic. You didn’t want to make him cry “Please baby, I hate seeing you like this, nothing is wrong with you, I wish I could take all the pain and itching away from you sweetness. Did you use your creams and stuff?”

“Mhm”

“Even the new one?”

“I tried everything, I didn’t even sleep last night I got like 2 hours of sleep it was so bad. I don’t get it”

“Baby why didn’t you turn on the AC that helps at least a little right”

“Its so expensive Fangs, I can’t”

“Baby I got you, and you need it on”

“But then we will be out of money Fangs”

“Baby I got some extra money doing these jobs why do you think I took them”

“Oh great so im the reason you had to work more?” You went to get up instantly feeling bad that you were the reason he had chosen to take on more jobs.

“Baby sit down. You are not the only reason. I’m hot as fuck in here. I did it for us, but even if it wasn’t for me I would do it again in a heartbeat for you baby because you don’t deserve to be itchy all the time you don’t deserve the pain of the flares baby. Now I need you to relax baby take a breath for me because I'm here now. You can relax, fall asleep if you want okay. Come lay with me because I missed you so fucking much and all I wanna do is hold you”

You laid against his chest once again the itching starting to take your mind over once your anxiety began to calm. His arm instantly wrapped around you the other coming to rub over the skin. He grabbed the cream next to him as he began to softly rub it on your arm. You felt an instant calm, and your skin felt an instant soothing sensation as his fingers ran over the skin that once hurt and itched you. He brought his hands rubbing over yours as well as your skin, it wasn’t sexual it was pure love, to make you feel calm. Who knew all you needed was a little touch from your favorite person in the world to calm you down enough to not feel the itch, to not make you feel like you couldn't relax enough to sleep. With him, everything felt calm and peaceful. Fangs was what you needed all along, he was the only medicine that could truly help you.

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imakemyownworld · 5 years

Text

When The Party’s Over

Fanfic

So, I started writing this out of the blue. It was supposed to be smut but I decided to do it differently.

I usually write about things that Im familiar with and things I cant talk freely about in real life and well, this is it.

Plot: Isabella struggles with drug use, Ethan is her best friend and always there to help. Lucas is a guy she parties a lot with.

(English is not my first language and theres probably some bad grammar in here sorry)

Warnings: drug use

Part 1

Im a mess. Once again I was barely awake, sitting on a sidewalk waiting for him to pick me up. This happened countless times already. 4,5,6,7 AM calls for him to pick me up because Im too fucked up to even go home alone.

“Just send me your location, Ill be there” Ethan sleepily said through the phone. I needed a few minutes to send that location but he was there within 15 minutes already.

“Jesus Christ Bella” he got out of a car to help me get in. He brought a jacket with him and made me put it on.

“Im sorry” I tried to get up but he picked me up and lay me down in the backseat.

“Puke through the window” he said getting in the driving seat.

“I dont puke. You know this” I was half asleep already.

“What did you take?” Ethan was glancing at me in the rear mirror while speeding down the Hollywood boulevard. “Youre pale as fuck”

I didnt answer so he sighted.

“Im sorry” I repeated quietly.

Ethan was my best friend for my whole life and he hated to see me like this but he made me swear to call him every time I feel like I need him. I would hate if something happened to you while Im only one call away. He would say and I understood him because it was the same way around, just with some other things. Im mostly a good citizen, a good student and a good friend but I need to let some steam out from time to time so I go to parties and use some drugs. Nothing major, ecstasy or coke and I wouldnt go any further than that. Ethan didnt support this whatsoever but he learned to deal with it when he realized he couldn’t help.

I dont remember the drive home but I remember Ethan carrying me inside.

I sat down in his bathroom and smeared face wash all over my face then dragged myself in the shower and turned the water on while still sitting on the floor letting it drip all over me.

I woke up in dark, glass of water next to Ethans bed. I felt fine, drugs dont cause that much of a hangover as alcohol but more of a depression. Come down, they call it.

Are you home? I texted Ethan and he shortly entered his bedroom.

“Hi, you hungry? We’re ordering postmates” he asked

“Pancakes” I replied. He sat down on the bed and peddled with his phone for a bit.

“Im sorry” I looked at him. He was wearing his red pants and a gray hoodie.

“You’ve e apologized ten times already and I told you that you dont have to”

“I did? Sorry” I laughed “Was I stupid?”

“Hm” he lay down “You talked some gibberish in the car. About someone stealing your face” he looked at me and I looked at him confused.

“Fuck” Im such a mess. Hallucinating is pretty normal, but rarely happens to me.

“Who were you with?” E asked and I knew why.

“Emma, Rob, Ivy, Harry” I avoided the conformation.

“Lucas” he continued. I stayed silent so he rolled his eyes. “That guy is big trouble. Why do you have a thing for damaged goods?”

“Because Im damaged goods”

“Youre not” E sat down. He knew me but he didnt know my inner thoughts and struggles. He didn’t understand how all I want is forget the world for a few hours and have fun. Empty brain and a happy soul even if caused by chemicals in my body.

I got up slowly and went into the bathroom to look at my state. My pupils were still huge and I had black all around my eyes. I decided to shower again.

I had countless conversations with him about this subject. Ethan is the perfect boy. Hes smart, funny, handsome and good at everything he does. Im a fuck up. My family is fucked up, all my friendships and relationships were fucked up. Im depressed and anxious but somehow still manage to be good at college and everything I do while everything around me is falling apart. Or at least thats how it seems to me. I feel like I deserve this occasional indulgences to blow off some steam.

When I got out Ethan was still there.

“E we talked about this already. You cant do anything about it” I took a shirt from his closet and a pair of leggings I left one day for this kind of occasion.

“I know. But I feel terrible. It hurts me to see you like that”

That was the last thing I ever wanted to hear. I wish he could just leave it be. I love being able to count on him on nights like this because I need safety and love but I know it hurts him. I almost wanted to cry. I stood in the middle of the room just looking at him not knowing what to say so I just shrugged my shoulders.

“Dont cry. Its fine. Lets go, Gray and I were playing switch” he got up and pushed me in front of him.

I knew it wasnt fine and it wasnt fair of me to keep calling him so I promised myself this was the last time.

Gray was on the sofa scrolling through his phone.

“Hey party girl” he glanced at me and back to his phone.

“Hola” I took the sparkly water out of the fridge.

“Odyssey?”

“Smash bros”

“Meh, fine.” he threw me the controller and started the game. He was excellent at acting like he didnt know I was trashed the night before.

Soon after our food arrived and we were eating, watching netflix almost like a family. I loved these guys. I dont want to keep disappointing them.

#fanfiction #dolan twins #ethan dolan #grayson dolan #iwritethings #fanfic #wtpo

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