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luverboychris · 3 months

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BABYSAT PT. 1 | CHRIS STURNIOLO

IN WHICH.. the boy your older sister used to babysit for when he was a little kid is now all grown up— and you are too. never been touched before except for his own two hands until you finally show him what pleasure really feels like. but, don’t you dare think he’s not dirty minded…

sub!chris x fem reader, fluff aw!!!, losing virginity, riding

note: im such a slut for shy chris like pls bby come here & relax. also this is part 1 because trust this story be juicy asf.

— 3270 words

chris has always been the quiet kid. sitting in the back of the class, knowing the answer but too scared to raise his hand. feeling the sweat forming on his forehead ready to drip down due to worrying if the teacher is going to call on him.

he thought maybe as he got older, grew more mature, he would finally get out of it. perhaps it was a phase. but he was now twenty.. and still the same shy kid from middle school.

he just didn’t get it. he knew his thoughts had so much potential to show his true personality and colors but it was like he had a wall that stopped them from spilling out.

chris drives into the walgreens parking lot, finding the nearest open spot. he gets out of the car and walks inside. he was in desperate need of a refill of his anxiety medication and he was rushing.

but just when the pharmacy was making his prescription, he wanders through the aisles of the store and grabs a snack and of course, a pepsi. chris isn't chris without a pepsi in his hand. he shuts the fridge door and turns his head, seeing a girl.

but he thought she looked familiar, squinting his eyes a tad thinking that would zoom in his vision. she turns her head a little more and thats when he realizes he does know her.

it was his old babysitter, how could he forget? she turns her head back and starts walking out of the aisle he was in.

“w-wait!” he shouts. her hair flips back, snapping her head towards the shouting boy.

“oh my- what the?! chris?” she exclaims. she makes her way towards him as he does nothing but stand in the same spot and smile.

“you’re all grown up, i’m freaking out right now.” your sister says. she pulls him in a hug and he lets her. he appreciated your sister so much. not having a sister of his own yet he felt like she was his big sister in a way.

she always helped him. wether it was when she would pick him up from school and he was covered in bruises from getting beaten up by the kids in his class. or, always reassuring him that everything will be okay in the end. he truly admired her.

but another thing that chris absolutely loved about her, was her little sister that was in his class at the time. and that was you. you were nothing but sweet to him. you hated how people treated him in middle school.

after middle school, you guys went your separate ways since he went to a private school, and you didn’t see him since.

when he saw your big sister, he instantly had you in mind. wondering what you were doing in life, what you look like now, if you still have the same interests as you did in middle school. and the most he was thinking about.. how your love life was.

of course his was non-existent. and he was kind of okay with it, he learned to accept it. girls never looked his way, and no way in hell would he make the first move.

you obviously didn’t know of this, but chris had the utter most biggest crush on you throughout middle school. he basically thought you were an angel sent from heaven to protect him.

chris scratches the back of his neck, “so, uh hows y/n?” he asks. he was in shock he had the balls to even ask that— but he knew he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he walked out of the store without knowing.

your sister laughs, “she’s good! really good..” she says, “well except for the fact she just got out of a long relationship. fuck that guy, he was an asshole.” she adds. chris lets out a little laugh, your sister always overshared and he liked it.

turns out it was one of the boys that used to bully chris. fuck, did he hate that guy. and no wonder you guys didn’t end up working out, you needed a sweet boy— he thought to himself.

“she’s going to be very happy when i tell her i ran into you!” she says, “would you want her number? maybe catch up. i’m sure she would love that chris.”

his eyes widened, without making it seem like he was a nervous wreck after those words came out of your sister’s mouth. with everything in him, he wanted your number.. but he was scared. what would he say to you? would you respond? what if you block him after he presses send to the first text?

“c’mon chris.. she will love to hear from you. just say yes.” she giggles. your sister knew chris too well, always was able to read him like a book. he swore she was some type of mind reader.

“i, uh.. okay. please. yes, can i have her number?” he practically begs. she nods her head and grabs her phone, giving chris your contact. he thanks her and pulls her into a hug before saying goodbye.

but now he was home.. laying in his bed with his face up towards the ceiling. his phone right by the side of him. it was like his phone was taunting him and calling him names for being an absolute pussy. calling him out for not just turning his damn phone on and texting you already.

thoughts rolling around in his head. should he do it now? or is it too soon since he basically just got back home from catching into your sister.

should he do it later? like late at night? but no, it would look like he is hitting you up in a sexual way if its too late. he didn’t know what the fuck to do.

he lets out a big sigh. finally forcing himself to overcome his anxious thoughts and concerns as he lifts his phone up to his face. should he call you instead of text? he would be a stuttering mess if he called you— he thought to himself. but something in him did it anyway.

his hands begin to feel sweaty, the grip on his phone tightening as he presses the tip of his finger on his screen and tapping on your number.

the sound of the phone dialing, which felt like centuries for chris started to make him worry. what if you don't answer because a random fucking number is calling you? please.. please answer. —he thought to himself.

"hello..?" your voice so soft and delicate, with confusion laced in your vocals. even though chris hasn't heard your voice in years, he still instantly just felt at ease. he closes his eyes and smiles to himself.

"h-hi.." he clears his throat and tries again, "hey y/n, it's chris... sturniolo." he quitely slaps his forehead, feeling like he sounds like an absolute nerd.

"oh my go- chris? my sister was just texting me how she bumped into you at the store. damn i kind of regret not going with her now." you say. that sentence alone was enough for his cheeks to flush up in color.

he let out a nervous laugh that bounced through his speaker to your ear. "really?" he mumbles, "anyway, how are you? it's been a while, and oh.. i am sorry to hear about your breakup.." he adds.

"what the fuck? my sister told you about that? i'm going to fucking kill her i swear.. always telling people my buisness." you groan, "but, thank you chris that means a lot." he fidgets in place, knowing he shouldn't have said that to you.

"i, uh sorry.. that's my fault." he mutters.

you drag your fingers across the desk in your bedroom, holding the phone against your ear with your free hand. "hahah, no chris. i was kidding.. kind of. it's okay, that's on her not you." you catch yourself basically blabbering and you feel awkward.

"you know.. i love that you called me but i feel like we have so much to catch up on in eachother's lives." you say, "why don't you come over instead of talking back and fourth on the phone? it'd be nice to see you all grown up too." you add.

chris sits on the edge of his bed now, his hand covering his mouth to not make a single sound because fuck how much your words felt like flirting to him. even if those weren't your intentions, he loved you were at least making an effort to see him in person.

"t-that, that sounds nice yeah." he replies, "i'm free all night."

"you're in luck mr. sturniolo because i also am free all night. come to my apartment?" you ask. he takes a big gulp. he thought you would maybe ask to go to the mall, or go get ice cream. but, going over to your apartment? alone.. he was scared but no way he was letting this offer down.

"y-you sure?" he asks. he didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable, but you were far from it. you were actually excited.

"of course. why don't you come around ten-ish, huh? i'll give you my address. i'll see you then." you reply. chris gets up from his bed, looking at himself in the mirror and catches himself with the most child like grin.

he repeats your words, "see you then." and you hang up the phone. it took him a few moments until he actually removed his phone from his ear. fuck.. was he so happy. he didn't know him picking up his anxiety medication a little later than usual would end up with him being able to see you.

—that night, at your place

chris didn't feel like this was real, standing outside your door with flowers in his hand. a rush of nerves squirm throughout his body as he builds the encouragement to bring his knuckles against your apartment door.

he knocks, and he hears you rummaging on the other side of the door walking towards your entrance. you snap the door open, you look down to the floor straight up to him meeting up with his eyes.

you were not expecting him to look that cute.. yes, he was always an adorable boy in your class but now he was tall, his jawline clenched and just his whole appearance together was insanely attractive.

you lower your gaze to meet with the flowers in his hand, "flowers?" you say, "what is this? a date chris?" you laugh.

his face immediately goes red, "n-no, i, no i know this isn't a date." he replys rather quickly, "my mom just always says to bring a girl flowers.. i'm sorry."

you pull him into your apartment, "aw no chris, don't worry. i was only kidding. i love these flowers and that's very thoughtful." you almost forgot how you needed to tone it down a little with the jokes because he was a sensitive boy. "they are beautiful." you take them from his hands and walk towards your kitchen counter and gently putting them down.

you were so caught up in the flowers, while chris was doing nothing but admiring you. he always thought you were the most beautiful girl in middle school, but how did you grow up to be even more perfect in his eyes? it made him stunned.

you weren't wearing anything fancy though, just lounge wear with your hair pulled up. he stands still, staying in the exact spot you made him go in the first place. which was right by your apartment door. you turn around from the kitchen to him, "don't be shy chris. you can walk around." you say.

he snaps back, realizing he was just thinking about how good you looked without any dash of effort. he clears his throat, "right.. sorry." he says as he walks towards your couch.

"chris you know.. you don't need to apologize after everything." you mutter.

he finally gets comfortable on the couch, "you're right sorry." he says. you walk to the couch, his eyes looking up at you while you're standing right above him giving him a 'really?' look.

"i-it’s a bad habit of mine.." he whispers. your heart shattered a little when he said that, he barely said it out loud but it was enough for you to hear.

you pout at him, now sitting next to him on your couch. "you're cute, you know that?" you say. you rest your face on your hand. he tried maintaining eye contact with you but after you just threw that compliment in the air, there was no way he could.

he swallowed, "i'm cute?" he mumbles. you inch yourself just a little closer to him, now your thighs touching each other.

"oh you know you're cute." you say. he finally is brave enough to look at you now, but then looked down to your glossed lips.

"no i don't. i don't think i'm cute." he replies.

even though this was your first time seeing him in years, it already felt like you guys were back in the third period, lab partners and not paying attention to the lesson because you and chris would just talk, talk, talk.

you were always his partner in class, because no one else would. since nick and matt weren’t in the same classes.

"well you should." you snap back. you knew he needed the validation, and you didn't mind showering him with all the compliments in the world.

chris felt like he was doing a good job with keeping his composure, but he really was deteriorating on the inside. his heart rate going up through the roof and he felt a zoo of butterflies flying around in his stomach.

"i'll try my best to think that.." he mutters. you let out a giggle before unzipping your jacket completely, taking it off and letting your arms be exposed with the tank top you were wearing underneath.

"i'm sorry.. my apartment is so hot right now. i love summer but fuck am i dying of heat right now." you moan out, fanning yourself with your hand. he did everything in his power to keep his eyes focused on your face, and not let them wander to your body.

you stand up a little, your knees on the couch as you reach for the thermostat that's right next to you on the wall. you didn't even mean to, but you were completely bent over in front of chris and now he has failed. his eyes burning into your lower half. your shorts a little too short for his liking because the right amount of your ass was being revealed to him.

you were teasing the fuck out of him without even knowing it. you lower the temperature, going back to sitting right next to chris. "ahh, okay it'll get colder in here soon." you say. he just nods, trying his best not to replay the image of you bent down in front of him over and over in his head.

but his hormones didn't let him, resulting in his dick to grow underneath his boxers and shorts. fuck.. the last thing he wanted to happen was to get hard by you infront of you. he began to feel embarrased, making sure you wouldn't notice.

he looks down at his boner for a split second then back up to you, pulling his hands to cover his area in a nonchalant way. but no girl is stupid.. and they can always tell when a guy is trying to cover up a boner.

he readjusts himself on the couch as you guys are talking back and fourth about your life. you catch him fidgeting his legs, "chris.. are you okay?" you ask.

"wha-? oh, y-yeah. i'm fine." he says. here comes the stuttering.

"it doesn't look like you're fine." you reply. usually he would keep denying it, but he trusts you.

"if you want me to be honest.. and i'm sorry before i say this if it makes you uncomfortable.." he says, "i'm hard and i was trying to make sure you didn't see."

his hands part away, now letting you see his dick poking through his shorts. you feel yourself become warm, and it wasn't because your apartment was.

a brush of horniness absorbs into your skin as you keep looking down, him looking at you with innocent and guilty eyes.

"oh, uh it׳s okay.." you mumble out. he felt like you were disgusted by him, grabbing a hold on your arm.

"n-no fuck! i'm sorry, i really am. i didn't mean to make you grossed out i swear." he pleads. you look down at the grip he has on your arm and then look back at him.

"chris, seriously don't worry.. do you know how many times a girl gets wet from something and has no control over it? it's not your fault that for guys you can physically see when something riles you up." you say with all honestly. that relieved him, instantly making him feel better.

"besides, it's kind of hot." you blurt out. your words make his head snap back towards you, a wave of shock hitting him.

"wait uh, w-what?" he says. you shrug your shoulders, as you clench your thighs together.

"you got hard from thinking about me. it's hot. you have a problem with that?" you ask. he shakes his head ‘no’ so much, his head almost fell off.

"n-no. i don't have a problem with that." he says, "i just am not used to this. i haven't been alone in a room with a girl."

"chris what?! does that mean you're a virgin? wait.. have you even kissed a girl?" you ask. you know he was shy and innocent.. but not that innocent.

his face turns red, attempting to cover his face with his right hand. "yes, im a virgin. and no i haven’t kissed anyone.." he mumbles into his hand.

his pureness was honestly attractive to you.

"wow." you say, "but have you atleast touched yourself?"

the truth was, he touched himself a little too much. the amount of times he has watched porn and jerked off was an unhealthy amount. or even just using his imagination. and, there was no way he was going to admit to you that you have crossed his mind while he was stroking himself.. picturing what you looked like all grown up.

and you fit his description perfectly, as you were now sitting right next to him.

"yeah, i have.." he mumbles, "hey listen.. just because i'm a prude doesn't mean i don't have a d-dirty mind." he adds. you raise your eyebrows at him, shocked that he said that to you.

"dirty mind? i don't believe you chris." you smirk. he didn't even know he slipped that out, his breathing becoming uneven.

"yeah." he says, "i know when the time comes, i will make my girl feel really good." suddenly confidence was rushing through his veins. and it was making you bite your lip at him.

"oh yeah? you will make your girl feel good? i don't know.. i can't believe that." you reply, teasing him.

"i swear!" he softly yells out. you were trying not to get wet at the sneaky plan you were thinking in your head.

"care to prove it?" you snap back. and that's when his confidence that was building up inside him disappears. his palms are sweaty again and his cock was just growing by the second.

“mhm..” he says with a shaky tone.

go read—> press here part 2

─── aid speaks ᝰ.ᐟ ───

╰┈ ⌞₊˚ est. jan 23 2024🗒 ˎˊ˗ ⌝

okay this is lowk long and i want the smut to be in part 2 or else this will be as long as a harry potter novel ong. hope u enjoyed it i love u guys so much?! like thank you for reading my other story, i cant believe it hit 100 likes im stunned. here are tags of people who i wanna marry so badly bruh

@mattslolita @gamermattsgf @plasticferal @m4ttslvr @mattybsbitch @recklessmatt @sturniololol @angelic-sturniolos111 @mattshands @sugrhigh @imwetforyourmom @sturnspoison

#sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo #chris sturniolo smut #smut #matt sturniolo #sturniolo #fluff

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serxinns · 2 months

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Yan! Fatgum vs Yan! all might (Both platonic)

•Now all might be Tolerable when it came to the teachers coddling you and being protective over you he was fine but with others it was a problem a Big problem, and fatgum was that problem At 1st all might not mind Fatgum, he just thought he didn't have the same thought at him and just was clueless but oh boy he was wrong

• he started seeing Fatgum giving you your favorite snacks and always pinching your little cheeks and carrying you around Seeing you happy and smiling with him made him sick he should be the one making you happy and spoiling you the final straw was when you accidentally calling fatgum uncle while fatigue eyes sparkle all might had a dark glint in his eye and a threatening aura surrounding him he was gonna have to do something about this

•So one day, while you and Kirishima were chatting with each other fatigue watched happily as the two of you were getting along until he felt a cold hand on his shoulder "They look like they're having fun right young hero!" there stood all might in his muscle form, Fatgum smiled "Yea they've been getting along well! It's almost liked they're dating!" all might smile twitch when he heard that last part even tho he knew he wasn't joking his blood was still boiling so he pinned the young hero in the wall his blue eyes piercing down on him the all might glared into his eyes

•"Listen here I'm tired of beating around this bush I want you to stay far away from them as possible and stop tryna influence that student of yours to get with them" To his surprise fatigue chuckled, "Thats funny hilarious even but no way just because your a worry some clingy ass number 1 can't handle someone touching what's "Theirs" doesn't mean im gonna back down" all might stared at the man in shocked but it quickly turned into a rage "Why you lit-" suddenly you and kiri ran up to the two heroes they both stare you in silence until fatgum said something

"Hey little buds back already?" "Yea! me and kiri were learning new tricks! kiri taught me how to block with your torso" the two of you eyes sparkle while fatgum chuckled to himself "Yea y/ns moved were super manly they even taught me their new power move you gotta see it!" "Alright you guys I'll catch up! Don't try to hurt yourselves!" when the 2 Teens left fatgum looked at All might with a smirk "also I recorded everything you said so be cautious with your actions" and with that fatgum happily followed behind the children like there was nothing wrong leaving all might angry and shocked he cursed under his breath but he was not gonna back down easily or even Never

•To this day the 2 mostly all might would compete to each other about whos better then who like how All Might would make you fly up in the sky while holding you to see the view and if you are scared of heights that's ok he'll carry you on his back while his fan are in awe

•Fatgum would just try to piss off all might By Giving you your favorite treats, Making you and kiri wear his costume while he just dies from happiness and taking pictures, Whenever all might spotted him he was spin you around or pinch your cheeks making all might glaring like he wanted to commit murder

• While all might has a trick up his sleeve he'll buy you anything you want unless it's other peoples merch he always sneak some matching all might merch for deku and you so that one day if izuku found out by stalking you that you were wearing the same clothes as him he'll want you to hold hands for the rest of the day

Bonus:

Fatgum and All might: Aruging about who's better

Kiri, Reader and Izuku: 👀

Reader: Yall wanna go get ice cream

Izuku: yea I don't think they'll stop anytime soon

Kirishima: well let's get some popcorn on the way as well then!

#yandere bnha #yandere ua #tw yandere #yandere x reader #tw obsessive behavior #platonic yandere #yandere mha #Yandere fatgum #yandere all might x reader #yandere izuku midoriya #yandere kirishima

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not-your-fucking-kacchan · 2 years

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You want more Dadzawa you said right? Aizawas sees students accidentally or purposely mislabeling NB! Reader as a female cuz reader is AFAB and he notices reader looks sad whenever someone says "she's so pretty", "she's adorable", "she's too perfect!" But reader has told aizawa they're preferred pronouns. -Shuu

ofc!

Masterlist<3

Aizawa x Enby!Student!Reader (Platonic) - Misgendered

"You're so pretty! Isn't she so pretty?!"

You can't help but feel a little dejected at the complement, Mina's loud, energetic and enthusiastic voice filling the room, accidentally misgendering you in the process. Aizawa looks up from his papers at his desk, giving you an unreadable look.

A forced smile presses at your lips while you fight the dysphoria, rationalising it in your head by telling yourself that you haven't gotten around to telling everyone yet. Yet, part of you is a little disappointed that you don't look as enby as you feel.

Your teacher notices this easily, bothered by the saddened flash in your eyes that noone picks up on, and he feels bothered that one of his students is facing such a problem on their own. Aizawa is the only person that knows out of the entire class full of people, because you had opened up about why you'd been distracted and unhappy for the few days before. From then, he made it his mission to bring the class closer together and encourage teamwork to show you that you have friends who won't see you as anything different.

"Aw.. t-thank you, Mina... I guess we could be two pretty best friends, huh?~"

Mina's cheeks go pink... Well, more pink than they were already. She's blushing and it's absolutely adorable. Flirting and complementing others is your love language after all, and you definately think she's one of the prettiest people you've ever met. She has the heart of an angel too, it's just a shame that you don't know how to come out to her and tell her that you're non-binary. It really sucks.

Aizawa looks at you dryly as you shamelessly flirt with everyone in the class, his eye twitching as he deadpanns, an expression on his face that seems to say something along the lines of "kids these days..."

He huffs and continues with his teaching, separating your little group as the break ends and carrying on with the lesson, planning on pulling you aside after class to talk about what happened.

Though to his surprise, you had come to him of your own accord after everyone had filed out of the room and he doesn't even have time to speak before you're interrupting him.

"I want to come out... I- Can i make an announcement during our next period?"

"... It's rude to interrupt your teacher, problem child. Yes, you can make an announcement. Is this about Mina's comment earlier?..."

You pout as he gives you the same monotone voice and stares straight into your soul, nodding your head and feeling yourself deflate a little as he still reprimands you for interrupting him and flirting during class.

"Jeez, i get no special treatment, huh? Not even for your favourite resident creature? Damn."

Your sensei can't stop himself from chuckling at your antics as you hang your head down in an act of disappointment, shooing you away and telling you to go and hang out with your friends.

By the time next period rolls around, it finally dawns on you just how scared you are to actually come out for real, and you almost entertain the thought of backing out until you make up your mind at the sight of Izuku and Kirishima being absolute cinnamon rolls. There's no way such kind hearted, genuine heros could have any kind of prejudice in their heart. What were you even thinking?

That's it. You're gonna tough up and face it. So when you stand up in front of the class as they all file in, you ignore their curious and confused looks and spill your secret.

"Uh- guys? Sorry, I just wanted to say something- uhm... Im enby, a-and my pronouns are they/them. I've felt this way for a while now... and i'm sorry it took a while for me to say anything..."

With that, you stay quiet, anxiously waiting for any kind of reaction until you hear Kirishima and Denki interrupting eachother with words of encouragement, though you don't really understand because they're speaking at the same time and you're getting confused. A small smile plays at your lips as Mina nearly knocks over her desk to embrace you, squealing as you almost fall down, excited and encouraging chatter erupting in the room while Aizawa looks on with the tiniest smile.

None of you know just how proud he is of this class. And he decides that you never will because brats don't get that kind of positive reinforcement from him. He's oviously going to keep working you all to the bone and making sure you all suffer for being problem children. But for now, he can be proud, and watch on with hidden relief while you get flooded with reassurance.

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metamatar · 4 months

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you said looking at the country where you were born without the rose tinted glasses of nationalism is like losing your faith in religion. were you ever religious? did it hurt a lot at that time to come out of it?

i was not militantly religious about other people's beliefs and i don't think i really drew my moral compass only from hinduism - my mom once talked to me about her own teenage atheist rebellion to me in relatively kind tones. but i did pray to god personally everyday and memorised the gita and hymns and prayers bc it was what my family and school and community did. i prayed for the birth of my sibling for 100 days, i prayed when my mom had surgery, i said the gayatri mantra everyday before sleeping, all the hits. its very easy in hinduism to dissociate your own practice from the awful, go #notmyreligion by pointing to all the syncretised practices and generally there's been lot of pablum about toleration. i was also arya samaji so that reform stuff genuinely makes you feel like yes, you are going to fix religion. my history / pol sci teacher was very surprised when she found out i wasn't an atheist given my other politics (lol) and i told her something like god gave me the strength when nothing else did and i genuinely meant it. yeah it hurt. i was really angry for a very long time about everything - its like discovering a really big betrayal but its also tied up with your own sense of right and wrong. i was also a baby scientist, and i think if i was old enough for it the basic new atheism stuff might have got me too. i came to conclude that if god existed and was omnipotent - for letting the world be like this, i would have to kill him anyway. in india tho, reading about caste and then actually engaging with ambedkar really really put the nail in. weirdly reading gandhi's autobiography also really broke my faith in reform hinduism. now ofc i think communist thought on the material nature of religion informs my thinking the strongest. i still will catch myself mindlessly chanting the gayantri mantra when im anxious or scared.

#asks #anon #religion #ex hindu

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iamthat-iam · 7 months

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hey Bry, i hope you’re doing good, i wanted to ask for help because im tired of this, like i dont know who else to ask ( 😔 ) could you please tell me what i'm doing wrong? (long text ahead)

i’ve been into Non Dualism for a while, not that much tho, i was into the Law of Assumption community and i was having that point of view and the i discovered ND. I felt like i was being blessed because the main idea of Non Dualism is so freeing. I consumed all types of ND contents you can imagine, i was in every corney of the internet looking for info and different perspectives, and i was doing…. meh. I was learning but i had my up and downs but i was slowly “detaching from ego”. Then something happened i had a few problems with a class of mine and i felt like a fell from the progress that i had. I was trying to read more and more content to try to make me understand that “hey its ok”, ofc that never worked because my teacher accused me of plagiarism and the owrse part is that is true but is not bcs of bad reasons i just used AI and wanted to make my assignments easier and my mental health was awful for me to complete them. Then i found out that my grades were low and i dont know if im going to fail, or repeat my semester, and the worse, i dont want mynparents to find out and pay for those classes. I feel awful because they’re really expensive and i just want to solve this. Believe me, im so tired of reading content and not knowing what to do. I’ve tried every “tecnique” to slowly detach from ego, but i just can’t stop thinking about these problems, they’re haunting me like crazy. I know this is just ego but, ive had so many anxiety attacks because of this like i don’t get it. I'm sorry if im sounding too demanding, im literally asking in the best way possible, what else could i do?

A lot of bloggers say “you don´t need to understand this, is your ego worrying” and others say “slowly question yourself what ego says or sees and go back to your origin” that gets me so confused and i'm exhausted. im so lost and i just want to delete everything and feel better. i know ND, is not about this, it shouldn’t make me feel like this, is just very simple. i just have too many problems like Bry i am really concerned, my mothers finances haven’t been the best and i don’t want her to pay a lor of money. I'm terrified to let go of this desire to change my grade circumstances, because I'm scared that if I do, nothing will change and everything around me will only worsen, and it feels like I've got such little time to change things. I know it might b the best to “let go” and do nothing but like, what if it stays the same. I dont even understand when people say “let it be” or i saw a girl saying “if you have a problem, dont do thing to it. ignore it and it will solve” like how??? i feel defeated and i just want to be free. im so scared to be in this position when the week ends, or by the month ends. im so lost. i feel like i only know this intellectual, but when the day passes and i say to myself “I AM” i just can’t feel it, i feel like a limited body. i give up on trying to achieve something,Ego seems so exhausting and scary and terrifying. i want to leave everything behind and be gentle with myself. what can i do? what should i do?

thank you bry if you read this fully, i really try to follow your blog and i like your kindness towards ppl. i hope u have a nice day

Im doing good ty for asking!

You have to take a leap of faith. I know it's scary to let go of control and trying to change things but if you don't, you will continue to feel like this and the problems will continue to exist. Trying to change a problem is you acknowledging that there's even a problem in the first place. Worrying about these problems are just keeping them there, because you keep acknowledging that they exist.

Your true self doesn't have problems! So when you know yourself as you really are, and are not identified with the person dealing with such and such issues, they have to go away. There's no possibility of things staying the same because everything appears and disappears based on what you are aware of.

Surrender. Just know that everything will work out in the end (because everything is already perfect).

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mediocre-daydreams · 2 years

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HI 🫶🏻🫶🏻 it’s the mind reader anon !! can i please request for “I’m not as good as you think I am.” X “Maybe, but you’re everything to me.” OR “nobody needs me,” x “i need you.” with bucky barnes?

YEAH SURE USING AN EMOJI DIDNT COME TO MIND BUT im gonna use this from now on 🐙

— 🐙

I HAD 3 CUPS OF STRAIGHT BLACK COFFEE AND WROTE THE WEIRDEST THING I'VE EVER... EVERED. HERE IT IS!! I'M SO SCARED OF MY OWN BRAIN RIGHT NOW!! I LOVE YOU!!

the eggs benedict to your mass production

college! himbo!bucky x tutor! cynical!reader (and both of them are stupid) notes: absolute crack, it's all just infatuated bucky going from himbo to educated, emotionally mature feminist king like every other word, mutual pining, swearing, a shit ton of dialogue but it's good fucking dialogue, dramatic bucky, you're stupid, he's kind of stupid but like no, just read it and find out i swear it's worth it

w/c: 2k .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. “you’re really good at this, you know,” bucky whispered, his peppermint breath caressing your face. he was tucked into your side, one elbow on the table, one arm around your chair—sure, maybe it was a bit too close to be professional, but neither of you was complaining.

“thanks,” you murmured, not bothering to glance up and meet his eye, partially because you were concentrated on the work in front of you, and partially because you knew you’d get flustered and expose your big, fat crush on the boy who’d, for some reason, was taken by you.

well, not “taken,” exactly. he wasn’t yours, and you weren’t his, though both of you wished that could be true; both of you also did not realize your feelings were reciprocated. in more specific terms, he was taken, as in ‘awed by,’ your determination.

whether that be your raised hand, steady and confident in class, or the quick wit that you weren’t afraid to weaponize against anybody who dared challenge you, or even the determination you’d initially had to avoid him.

bucky knew he wasn’t exactly in your league, so to speak. your social circles might as well be different planets, but he figured you were an actual planet and he was your moon, circling around you, forever and ever trapped in your gravitational orbit. (at least, that’s the comparison he would make if he was passing physics.)

and that’s how you’d met him. you had lingered after class was dismissed to finish writing down the last of your notes, while bucky had hung back because the teacher needed to talk to him about his grades. to bucky’s delight, the refreshingly disinterested girl who would’ve never given him a second glance without necessity was the tutor that your teacher had recommended.

call him a masochist, but he loved that you treated him with just as much disdain as you treated the rest of his friends. it was… an unpopular opinion. att least, his friends—consisting of three-quarters of alpha delta theta and a little less than half the school’s men’s lacrosse team—certainly thought so.

bucky shifted in his seat, sending another wave of his cologne your way. you tried not to show how much he was affecting you, but you broke immediately when the arm he’d been resting on the back of your chair had finally snaked itself over until his fingers had settled on your shoulders. he began massaging small, slow circles into your skin, and you thought you might melt and mold yourself into the chair.

“okay, i- i think this is pretty good.” you scooted your chair away from him just an inch with reluctance; he smelled wonderful and had a warm presence and was so, so lovely… however, you were here to help him with physics, not get seduced. (though you’d obviously prefer the latter.)

a momentary flash of disappointment—or was that hurt?—crossed his face before it settled into its usual expression; in other words, he was gorgeous and he knew it.

“it’s not pretty good,” bucky took the paper from your hands with his eyebrows pinched in concentration. your stomach sank. “it’s amazing, doll. how are you- fuck, why do are you so beautiful and so, so smart? you’re killing me, here.”

you begged to differ. you were the one on the verge of combustion.

you pursed your lips to hide the embarrassingly exposing beam that threatened to escape and reveal your hopeless affinity for a man who was obviously out of your league. you wanted to hate bucky, you really, really did, but it made sense why he was able to pull whichever strings he wanted to. he was charismatic, confident, and had a way of leaving people in a dreamy, delirious daze that made them vulnerable to whatever kind of intention bucky had. he’d passed numerous classes that he had decidedly failed, slept with too many people to count—his pool was endless; male and female both—and had somehow managed to talk himself out of a suspension after he’d managed to break a window.

so was it wrong to be wary of his advances? as far as you knew, he was still “talking” to your roommate’s ex-boyfriend’s lab partner (though it seemed as if not many words were being exchanged in their ‘conversations’) and supposedly was hooking up with the quarterback.

but those could be rumors, your inner naive schoolgirl with a crush said. rumors have an element of truth to them, your rational side said. you interact with less than half the number of people he’s friends with, your cynical side said, and he’s only talking to you so he can go back to his theta kappa beta alpha friends and make fun of you.

“bucky, i appreciate the… compliments, i really do. and i mean this with, uh, kindness, but don’t you think it’s a little… immature? manipulative? i don’t know, i just-”

this time, the crestfallen look on bucky’s face lingered, and it was most definitely one of hurt. “manipulative? sweetheart, i’d never manipulate you into anything, oh god no! i don’t und-”

“well, you’re always making fun of me so you can get some reaction out of me, and i don’t understand the appeal of trying to- to fluster somebody for entertainment, and maybe it makes this whole ‘tutoring session’ more interesting for you, but damn it, that’s not fair to me!” you snapped, eyes narrowed with malice.

you expected bucky to reciprocate. to hiss at you, or deny it, or make some vaguely misogynistic comment, but he just sat there, like a kicked puppy that had also been caught in the rain. he licked his lips enticingly and his eyes flickered down to… your lips? was that it?

the gall of him, to continue to mock you even after you’d confronted him.

bucky laughed bitterly, shaking his head. his knee was bouncing and it was giving you secondhand anxiety. “i can’t- ha, i can’t believe you’d think that’s what- have i not been obvious enough? i don’t understand why- why you don’t understand. i like you, a lot, actually. i have since the first week of physics when you told the professor he was wrong and then pulled out evidence.

“why would you think that i’m…” he looked at you incredulously, “making fun of you? if anything, you’re the one who’s teasing me! i’ve been trying to, well, yeah, i’ve been trying to get a reaction out of you so i can see if you feel the same way!

“and you always seem to do this little routine, where i’ll try and ask you out or- or tell you that you look pretty, or ask you questions about yourself and you do this fucking scrunch,” he pointed to his face, “on your nose, and it kills me. and it kills me that you always scoff at me like i’m nothing but you’re like… the whole world, or something. you’re like, the bonnie to my clyde.”

you bit your lip to keep yourself from smiling, not wanting to spoil his rant. “bonnie and clyde were serial killers,” you whispered amusedly. bucky looked at you, took a mental note, and continued without correcting himself.

“you’re the… apple to my eye. the chicken to my egg. and the… alpha theta to my kappa beta. and i think you’re incredible, i really do, but you won’t even give me the time of day. so yeah, i don’t understand why you think i’m the one manipulating you.

“there’s obviously a social power dynamic here,” bucky added, waving his hands around like that would help make his point clearer. “you’re cool and smart and people love you, and i’m like, a piece of shit, kinda. so i guess it makes sense why you don’t like me.

but that’s beside the point. you have the dominant position in this relationship because you’re the one tutoring me; therefore, my performance relies on your decisions. you wield the power of controlling my gpa or whatnot. and did i mention that you’re smart and pretty? so basically, you’re just better than me which means in society, aka the individual social bubble that is every academic institution, you have more, um, influence than i do. you’re like, the prefect, and i’m the dude you report for breaking curfew. or you’re like, the ta, and i’m the guy whose essay you rip apart.

‘cause you’re like, shit, you’re so wow. and i’m so, wow,” he said the second bit with exaggerated sarcasm and a dramatic eye roll. “and i learned about all this in women’s studies, so if you think i’m pulling this out of my ass, go talk to bell hooks and simone de beauvoir, alright? i’m not, like, trying to manipulate you into a date or anything—not that i’d complain about getting a date, or like, just a shot, and i mean shot as in chance, not as in alcohol—i just really like you. like, like-like you.”

bucky took a deep, shuddering breath after his profession of infatuation. you gaped, probably comparable to a fish, at the frat-adjacent, notorious fuckboy, and delectable specimen of a man in front of you who also took women’s studies and also seemed to genuinely want to take you out on a date—though you weren’t particularly sure about the second one since his explanation was very long and not very easy to follow—that you’d severely misjudged.

“i-” you sputtered, for once, out of wit. “that’s so… nice.” you fiddled with the paper that the two of you had been working on. you could hear the sound of bucky’s heart shattering from where you sat.

you hung your head in your hands, bewildered. “okay, you said you didn’t understand what i said but now i’m not understanding what you said because you’re saying i’m all… admired and intellectual and alluring and, powerful, even, but i- i’m not. bucky, i’m literally sitting in the library tutoring you on a subject i suck at because i have no other weekend plans and because i’ve been bullshitting my way through this class and the professor just so happened to eat it up.

“i don’t know what i’m doing either, bucky. i’m not- i’m not as good as you think i am. i’m… if we’re going back to that stupid chicken-egg analogy, you’re like a crowing morning rooster and i’m an egg produced by a capitalist’s hellish factory farm that’s dropped on the ground and will probably grow mold before someone cleans it up.” you paused. “oh wow, that was a way worse metaphor than yours, wasn’t it?”

bucky shook his head, a brilliant, dopey smile slowly growing on his face. “no. no, that was… so beautiful. you’re so smart,” he insisted, and it seemed like he genuinely believed it. “you think you’re some- some rotten egg, but to me, you’re an eggs benedict that’s been approved by gordon ramsey. you keep saying all these self-deprecating things and y’know, my therapist says that’s really bad for your subconscious perception of yourself and your value, and i know i just said that you’re smart but you’re actually being so stupid right now. because i think you’re really awesome. so…”

bucky swung his legs under his seat, which was really awkward because his legs were already so long that his knees were brushing the top of the table, so it looked more like he was trying to kick the table apart.

“can i kiss you?” bucky breathed, eyes scanning your face with pure adoration.

“absolutely not,” you grimaced, planting your hand on his face and pushing it away. “don’t push it. but… how does dinner at 7 tonight sound? not the cafeteria shit, i’ll take you somewhere nice. and don’t get it twisted, i’m asking you out, okay?”

bucky nodded eagerly, going from kicked, wet puppy to newly-adopted, instagram account worthy puppy. “i- wow, thank you! wow. i’m so- yes, i will be there. should i get flowers or are you going to do the flowers thing? because i really like you a lot and i don’t want to mess this up and-”

“i’ll do the flowers. and the picking you up. and if you’re a good boy, maybe you’ll get a kiss at the end of the night. does that sound okay?”

it sounded more than okay to bucky.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

bucky barnes masterlist | main masterlist

taglist: (comment to be added!)

@bambamwolf87 @yourallihave @im-a-slut-for-fluff

#bucky barnes imagine #bucky imagine #bucky barnes x reader #bucky fic #bucky barnes x you #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes x female reader #college bucky barnes #bucky barnes college au #bucky barnes university au #bucky barnes college athlete #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes cracfic

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magnuficent76 · 6 months

Text

Hi guys here's disjointed thoughts about Melaine because I can't stop thinking about the Bug Lady...... under cut bc As Always Its a lil long

I like to think that although Melaine rarely curses or raises her voice beyond a stern teacher tone, when she yells she sounds really scary. She hates to admit it but when shes truly mad she turns into her mom a little bit. Yelling is overwhelming for both her and the other party because she'll just stop holding back and just. Really dig into what's pissing her off. And more often than not this causes tons of damage and she feels awful but it does teach people never to push her to those limits ever again

Post mutation her normal voice is barely more than a croak sometimes due to going long periods of time just being completely dead silent or humming, but when she speaks properly she holds this air of authority and knowledge that everyone can feel deep in their soul. It's not exactly soft even though the tone is clearly intended as such (or at least calm), it's more like. Idk how to even begin ti describe it. It's like listening to someone give a lecture, and they're trying not to scare people away, so their enthusiasm is kept under a velvet sheet to make it more approachable

I like to think she's just naturally a quiet person who's always accidentally sneaking around because of it. She more often than not uses humming to announce her presence to other people because sometimes its hard to even hear her walking. Her boots always look heavy because of how tall they are but really thats just because. SHE is tall so they have to accomodate to her. But really you can baaaarely hear the clicking of the heel. Most of the time when people feel her presence its because she's talking to someone else or (most likely) because she's making humming noises. Girl who goes hmmm. Hm..hmm . Hm. Hhn.. She's so everything to me im sorry I love her soo much

#magocs #my oc stuff #original character #oc: melaine #fan characters #caede tales #character exploration #my ocs #shes so everything 2 me I love melaine wish doctors were real #disjointed trouts

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g-xix · 2 months

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THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME KNOW, TOO SV5 NONNIE!!!!! Lmk how you've been too bc just the other day asw i was thinking it's been so long since i last talked to you :(

HIHI GRACIE <3

i got logged out of my account for a while so i haven’t actually been able to chat w u, even tho i wanted to :’(

i’ve travelled back to my school unfortunately, and even though my exams are up, my history and law teachers decided to just give us more tests. i’m currently studying for those, but last week i’m telling u some demon must’ve possessed me or some shit bc omd it felt like i had the worst sickness known to man. i’m somewhat better now though, but i’m behind on a lot of my school work, so i won’t be very active these next days/weeks unfortunately 😓 i’ll still check up on u tho !!

also a little f1 rant while i’m already here, it’s only 17 more days till it starts again !! i’m soosososo excited !! did u see the news about lewis going to ferrari? he’s my fav on the current grid, so I’m not really sure how i feel about it. i mean, mercedes hasn’t been treating him as well recently, and they’ve also dropped on their production and car developing. but at the same time, ferrari? nando and seb could both tell u what a horrible idea that is, lewis. i really want him to get his 8th before he retires, but i’m scared he won’t 🙁

anywho !!! what about u ?? how have you been ?? i’ve missed chatting w u, even though i read all of your posts 😁 anything interesting at school or any upcoming projects for us readers u can tell us abt? 👀

Awhhwhwhhh why'd u log out? To cheat on me w an alt or j to recentre your life? respectfully hoping it's the latter

And no litr, everyone ik is really quite sick atm so I'm hoping you get back to good health very very soon because from what I've seen this cold-covid-RAT looks absolutely awful to have. Take care of yo goofy ahh sv5 nonnie, eat your vitamins n minerals and keep healthy

And what's "it"? Like, THE f1? And is F1 like football, like yk, are there European races or is it just worldwide? And are there qualifiers + how do they decide which countries race?

Wait nvm im a fucking idiot i j realised the teams that race are car brands/teams not countries 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ Dear God I'm sorry for wasting anyone's time by making u read that, that is honestly embarrassing behaviour on my behalf.

But yeah! My mum said smth ab Hamilton being a driver for Ferarri atm (kinda flew over my head bc i dont rmbr who he drove for initially). And oh, mercedes have been neglecting him? That's good that Lewis is out and into a team that'll treat him better and help him win too.

And 8th what? 8th like, win? If so i hope that too. Well, i don't really know what I hope. All I know is that Stroll is hot and apparently looks as though he's been "freshly fucked into a mattress" (idk i posted a pic ab him and the reblogs still haunt me to this day), Seb's got a nice family and bread baking hobby, fans want to fuck Oscar, Lando and Max, and the rest are a little bit foreign to me

Isn't there a movie coming out (maybe out now tbf) about a racer that was a video game neek but got recruited by Ferrari or another big racing group? Do lmk the name + whether you've seen it + whether it's out + who it's acc based on bc it looks super super super interesting imo

And YAYAYAY nice to see you've still been watching (even if silently)

I'm doing well ty, I've decided it's time to get outta seasonal depression n kickstart loving life again.

I've got a scholar's exam coming up which is gna be hard to get so everyone manifest or pray for me pls, either works...

And in terms of projects, currently I'm doing s'more HC's (AMP eating out and another genre), ATV fluff, ATV threesome oneshot, and a Kinktober-core smut for ChrisMD!!!

Stay in touch SV5 nonnie, it's always acc bare cute talking to u

PEACE N LOVE!!!!

#WAFFLE!!#long rant myb broskis #f1 #formula one #formula 1 #lewis hamilton #ferrari #seb vettel #sebastian vettel #alonso #fernando alonso #stroll #lance stroll #lando norris #lando #oscar piastri #max verstappen

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oneangstymotherfucker · 11 months

Text

somethin i think abt a lot is that when i was in hs we had to read the handmaiden and i was dragged through that unit kicking and screaming. legit wrote my teacher a whole ass email about how god awful that book was in every way and how it was very horrible that we should have to read it when it had no value at all and the only value i could imagine it having was if all the people who said it was good was just getting off on all the sexual stuff in it. i cried over that fuckin book bc i was so MAD.

(im real sorry ms c you knew what u were doing i was just an angry kid with way way WAY too much repressed sexuality and unprocessed trauma and now that i figured myself out i know what's going on a little better.)

but the thing is i wonder if a lot of the younger antis who were raised on tt popsy shit like 'avoid everything and everyone that makes u uncomfy!' and 'don't ever go near things that scare you!' are just letting themselves be fueled by their own unprocessed trauma and fear. bc i get it, its really fucking scary and i was angry for a really fucking long time about that book. i got depressed and afraid and it triggered shit i didnt even know i had and i felt gross and worst of all i was scared that i was into it because i had no idea what that would mean. it made my symptoms worse, which ultimately helped me make them better.

anyways what im trying to say is i think the sort of watered down tiktok mental health stuff is dangerous enough as it is, but i also think its fueling the whole anti movement (and others too...) in a lot of different ways.

part of understanding the difference between fiction and reality is understanding that fiction isn't real and can't hurt you, but can cause feelings about things that might hurt at first. it's like letting puss out of a wound. it's gonna hurt but that's how it gets processed and then better. that is how fiction helps us grow- by showing us all the things inside us and letting us see how we really feel about them. then we can make informed decisions about what to do about it.

*the handmaidens tale my b

#proship #anti anti #english class #lol #unprocessed trauma

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give-grian-rights · 2 years

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could you give me a brief rundown of the timeline of YHS because im too lazy to watch it and i need this info rn lmao -♡

OKAY

-Sam and Taurtis are foreign exchange students in Japan. i think they said they were freshmen or sophmores?? one of those

-Taurtis says All the wrong things, all the time. he is awful at following the dresscode. he spends all their money on video games. he has insomnia but sleeps everywhere, except for home

-Their teacher kills himself

-Taurtis gets a girlfriend, Sam gets a girl who's obsessed with him ? ? but she has a boyfriend, so he beats up Sam and gets Sam arrested

-Sam and Taurtis go on a "double date". Paul Blart is a canonical character, no i will not explain. They talk to a fortune teller named Ellen, and they tell Taurtis' girlfriend, Salex, that she will die in the coming days. The next day, she is hit by a car and killed.

-Someone's texting Taurtis on Salex's phone, which is a plotthread never resolved really

-Sam and Taurtis sell crack cocaine and watch the yakuza get killed by the FBI, who also just so happen to be their two (living) teachers, and their kid who's like, canonically 12

-Taurtis starts his own buisness, Toritos. he robbed all the local stores of their Doritos and put a "T" on the packaging, but made his own chips that are almost inedible.

-Despite Toritos making people go blind and deaf, some people still eat them. Taurtis goes unaffected, as he eats the packaging, not the chips .

-Grian comes to town for a beach day, Sam thinks it would be funny for Grian to ask one of the girls (or Ellen) to homecoming or. whatever prom thing they were having. Grian leaves but promises to come back for halloween

-Taurtis goes to prom with Chan Yandere, who yes, is an actual character, and Sam goes with Yuki.

-Grian comes back. he's there for halloween. Chan, Taurtis, Sam and Yuki convince Grian to be a date for Ellen. Dom, the guy who attacked Sam, wants to see who can stay in the school overnight the longest. the ghost of their dead teacher haunts them and tries to kill them. or at least scare the shit out of them.

-Yuki and Sam are convinced that Taurtis "said fighting words" so they stab him. Grian tries to drive Taurtis to the hospital and they get into a bus crash?

-Grian returns back to the apartment Sam and Taurtis lived in. Grian is forced to pretend to be Taurtis. He is threatened with his life, and has a knife pulled on him if he denies being Taurtis. Sam is in complete denial of his actions.

-Taurtis returns after being rejected from the hospital, for being broke. also he has amnesia. and Sam denies it's him and tries to pretend he's a different person for a while

-Grian, Taurtis, Sam get into a gang fight and kill the Yakuza leader, who's actually Yuki's dad. Sam then forces Grian to pretend to be Yuki's dad .

-Yuki realizes, goes nuts, kills half the people in the town, Dom helps, and then Yuki kills themself. Grian, Taurtis, Sam and Dom are put into witness protection.

fuck tokyo soul the only benefits is taurtis and grian being fruity and dom is there

#i havent watched the full series in a while for obvious reasons #tw suicide #tw death #yhs #yhs mcrp #yandere high school mcrp #yhs grian #yhs taurtis #tw samgladiator #dni samgladiator supporters #mika-posts

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pocketramblr · 2 years

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Hello! AU where Iruma was adopted by Sullivan as a baby, please!

oh so many options here...

1- Iruma’s parents misplace a baby. Sullivan decides it’s not like they’d miss him anyway, and brings him back home. Iruma has no clue how awful his parents were. In fact, he never knows anything about them- it’s always just been him, Grandpa, Opera, and Ali-san. When a tiny Iruma asks where he came from, Grandpa Sullivan says he wished so hard for a grandson, and found Iruma the next day. It’s technically not a lie... But it’s far from the truth.

2- Baby Iruma’s clothes are all laundered in that perfume to keep the human scent off. The Ring of Soloman, where Ali-san lives, is kept on a beaded necklace, almost constantly on him. He grows up speaking the language of the demons. Opera and Sullivan teach him how to read, and how to cast spells. Over time, the perfume is needed less and less often. This Iruma doesn’t have that uncanny dodging ability. But some things don’t change- Iruma could still eat forever, bottomless stomach.

3- Iruma doesn’t go out in public very often. Sometimes he’ll be watched at Bablys by a teacher or other staff member, and Sullivan often would invite some of his young friends over to visit, so he wasn’t lonely. But he didn’t get out much either. The one exception is for his birthday every year, when Sullivan can’t resist from throwing extravagant and huge birthday parties. It feels a little weird to Iruma, the strangers who thank him for being born, but he likes all the food and getting to see all his friends at once!

4- Of course the Thirteen Crowns are all invited to his party too. On his sixth birthday, Baal starts to suspect something is up- more up than Sullivan kidnapping a demon child from some orphanage or something like he assumed previously. On his twelfth birthday, Baal confirms his suspicions: Iruma has King Delkira’s Mana. To start a little plot, Baal sets up dominos- have Kiriwo, new to the party, bring friendly Iruma away from the crowd to help him ‘look for something’ he lost, Atori to have a conversation with Sullivan in another room where Poro and Iruma, separately, can overhear. Atori says he knows Iruma has Delkira’s Mana and asks how that’s possible, considering Delkira himself cursed Sullivan so he shouldn’t be able to touch it- or is the boy his long ploy to loophole, and get everything back?

Sullivan reacts by... squishing the spider. But Poro leaves the party early, and Iruma is, for the first time, truly scared. Kiriwo is enchanted by his expression of terror and confusion, even if he quickly covers it up and returns to the party.

5- That night in his room, Iruma asks Ali-san what he should do. Ali-san keeps trying to tell Iruma that he’s safe at home, but realizes that perhaps what Iruma needs is to step outside the sheltered bubble. But also be kept away from danger, since Iruma didn’t listen when he tried to warn him away from Kiriwo. So he says if Iruma promises to listen to him, he’ll sneak him out the safe way and help him avoid trouble from either Grandpa Sullivan or Baal’s group.

Iruma agrees, and runs away.

Much to the displeasure of just about everyone else the next morning when this is discovered- Sullivan, Opera, Baal, Poro, Kiriwo, Kalego, Azz, everyone.

+1- im pretty sure Ali-san leads Iruma to Balam so

#its ok its probably good for a young demon to run away once in their childhood #and. iruma doesn't know he's human #like Ali has been his tail and wings all his lif #he thinks the weirdness about him is because he came from his grandpas wish or something #he probably doesn't even know his blood can heal #at least until the first time he bleed while in his 'runaway' arc #irumas friends are mostly the well to do demon kids #azz and ameri and sabro and caim ig #gentrychild #pocket talks to people #ask game

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gentil-minou · 11 months

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god sending stern emails because no one responds to your godamn voicemail fucking sucks its actually the worst you know what i sound like over the phone? i sound like a 12 year old you can't feel too hurt or threatened when you're talking to me over a phone cause i sound like a scared chipmunk i sound like that kid that sat in the corner and read during recess i want to just talk over the phone so my mean words sound less mean because i can't go "haha i have to do this even tho it suck ya know lol" in an email i cant use emojis to soften the words i have to be professional. i have to say "unfortunately due to this and this we will have to do this" and it sounds like im evil i sound like that old horrible teacher you had in middle school that yelled at you for smiling i sound like an annoying aunt i sound awful i hate emails let me talk to you over the phone and lull you into a false sense of security with my baby voice before telling you some horrible shit so i feel less like a monster GOD

#bushy rambles #i am having a month everyne

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dreamersparacosm · 2 years

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Oh my gosh, the wedding and pregnancy drabbles are gorgeous! Would you consider writing one about the day Austin and reader's baby is born, and the first hours post birth? 👶🙃

september 6th - austin butler

note ; aw stop ur too sweet im blushing… but father!austin truly sends me to another dimension bc i just know he would be the best father on the planet and spoil his daughter or son and he would be so overprotective AH skdjdjdk

warnings ; literally none. this man is an angel

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

austin had always wondered why people thought ‘daddy and me’ classes were useful. he thought they were full of people who tried too hard. it reminded him of school, and all those parents in there were teachers pet. it was not his forte. but, somehow, he still found himself perched in a toddler-sized chair for the 5:30 p.m class of ‘daddy and me’ every thursday for 6 weeks. how was he convinced? well, that would be his needy and persistent wife.

at least now he knew how to change a diaper.

he had returned home from one of these classes on a typical thursday evening, joining you as you laid on the couch. he enjoyed these mundane things with you; being an actor made him feel as though he shouldn’t be allowed to partake in the little things in life. but, sitting there with your feet propped up on his legs as he massaged them was the greatest joy he could ever experience.

it had started when you sat up, trying to readjust yourself. you thought the sharp pain was just a cramp, nothing more. you weren’t due for another two weeks. however, the consistent stab of pain was enough cause for concern. austin, to put it nicely, was shitting himself. you groaned out, “i think it’s time,” and he nearly felt his eyes fall out of their sockets.

he knew better, though. he had to remain calm, because you were also going to freak out if he did. he scooped up the hospital bag that has been prepared weeks in advance, helping you out into the mid-sized car he had picked out with you a few months ago. he was in a haze, trying not to forget anything while also simultaneously not having a heart attack.

the cramps had continued, announcing their presence even stronger than the last. nothing would have prepared you for the pain you were feeling. austin felt guilty, knowing one drunken night of getting carried away had caused this for you. that guilt still hadn’t subsided when you made it into the hospital bed, claiming you were never having sex again.

he was at your beck and call, running around the hospital like a lunatic. doctors raised eyebrows at your frazzled husband, who ran up 14 flights of stairs to get you those ice chips you so desperately needed. he even fought the nurse who wasn’t quick enough to check how dilated you were. your nurse, who had said back in response, “sir, there’s other women here giving birth.”

in which he fired back, “i don’t care. i need you to take care of my babies first.”

somehow, you ended up being more calm than him, the doctors joked as they entered your room. you were in relief when they announced there was a baby to deliver. a 12 hour labor. that’s what you had endured. but, you couldn’t shake the excitement that creeped into your body, rattling your bones and aching your teeth. you were about to meet your baby for the first time.

austin had never gripped your hand tighter, or kissed you as hard before. he wasn’t scared of blood. he was scared of you getting hurt. and the way you screamed as you pushed yours (and his) baby out of you was enough to make him almost collapse. he kissed the top of your head, encouraging you as much as he could. he knew you could do it, you were the strongest person he had ever met.

“it’s a girl!”

the words echoed in his ears. he was a father, that was his baby girl. he cupped your face into your hands, pressing his forehead against yours, “you did it, baby!” you laughed at his words, sighing in relief. somehow, you never thought it would be more possible to love someone more than him. now, you had a bundle of joy.

september 6th. that was your angel’s birthday.

oh, how he had never loved anyone more. holding her fragile body in his arms made him overcome with blissful happiness. he had won oscar’s, he had traveled the world. but nothing, and he truly meant nothing, compared to the way it felt holding his seed in his arms. even after you had gone to sleep, knocked out from the painkillers and exhaustion, he stood by babygirl’s hospital crib, soothing her as she cried. he rocked her back and forth, utilizing everything he learned in that damn ‘daddy and me’ class. “sh, sh, i’ve got ya. i’ve got ya, sweetheart.”

under the moonlight, he had a strike of inspiration. he looked at your baby again. you two hadn’t decided on a name yet, still battling between the list you had made months ago. there was only one name he could think of in that moment. “lori,” he whispered into the room. “your name is lori.”

although he thought you were sound asleep, you smiled with your eyes closed as you heard his gentle words. lori michelle butler, named after his mother.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

keep your ideas coming here!

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