#and im having to do stupid fucking 2+ hour video calls for another class

[selamat-linting]

man, the working conditions in this country are bad. i know a girl who worked in an NGO and her hours are ridiculous. a couple of times she had to leave town and when she came back home at 2 am she's expected to go back to work at 6 in the morning. my friend, the patrick bateman wannabe, he worked at a retail chain store during the pandemic and he have to pay for his own covid test everytime he gets symptoms (which was often because he was an essential worker with chronic illness) and he didnt get paid while he's on sick leave. a few months ago my sister was a temp worker in a cafe but she might as well be a staff who just dont have the benefits nor the job security because they kept calling her to come to work. even if she's permanently hired she will never get any substantial promotion because the hotel management spesifically stated they dont want their management position to be filled with people who might be distracted with childcare (women). my mom worked 10 hours six days a week cleaning hotel rooms to pay for my education and she was paid only 2/3 of the minimum wage there. my crush had to work from 5 am to 6 pm in his current job and the stress was too much he got sick on the first month of working there. i know another guy working as a courier and his job also required him to work 10-12 hours. hell, all of my previous jobs had a special day every week where it doesnt count as part of your job but you still had to come to do extra 4 hour work on top of your regular shifts. or jobs where they dont count the extra hours needed to close after a busy day. there was a point in my life where a coworker had to take me home almost everyday because we got overtime until its 1 am. the job i have now has much better hours but im still expected to be on-call everyday just in case a customer wanted something and i have to go see them. and my customers, if theyre not bougie, theyre a part of the working class that gets paid better than the rest of us and still they have unpaid overtime and stress that drains their will to have a hobby outside of getting shitfaced with your coworkers once a month. i was in trade school and one of my first memory of being there was seeing my classmates who majored in operating and fixing heavy mining equipments, most of them boys as young as 15, watching a "workplace safety" video that mostly consists of pictures of people getting crushed by cranes and trucks, and learning to accept that yes, there is a chance you'll die and there's nothing you can do about it. by the time im 20 years old i already know two cases where a friend of a friend died on their retail job from overwork. my crush almost died in a workplace accident once! i havent even talked about how my other friend wanted to be a nurse, to the point of advertising that her kidney was on sale on facebook marketplace, only to realize how little they get paid despite the expensive education, long working hours, and the health risks. i haven't even talked about the kind of shit sex workers here face on the job. or the little kids in my town who had to walk 10 kilometers a day every night before school selling tissue boxes and snacks to help pay the rent! its 2023 and child labor is still a thing! there are kids as young as eight years old who had to help their parents make stone bricks! and the worst part of how things get this bad is that we did try to stop things from getting worse. the working class in my country did organize and made progress, but we were all fucking killed for it. it wasnt just the us backed genocide in the 60s or the kidnappings in the 90s, there was so many cases of state repression that get swept under the rug. so no, i dont use morals when it comes to the bourgeoisie. i dont have sympathy and i wont make excuses when i say would kill even the children of the ultra-wealthy if i have to. theyre lucky my organizing job right now is talking to people and making stupid little pamphlets instead of shooting them.

#posts about my life

[noretreatnancy]

love that most of my professors heard “adapt to online” and took it to mean make up for missed in class time by adding more work on top of all of the things that were going to be due anyway, while not adjusting due dates... spring semester always fucking sucks, and the last month of any semester is just hell week after hell week, but trying to write all of these essay and take tests and do 30 discussion posts and work on group projects/presentation while I’m sleeping in my little sisters bed and working from my parents couch while reading fucking corona stats and trying to keep my grandma from trying to go to the grocery store..... I’m going to go fucking insane

#personal #like i know literally everybody is dealing with this exact same thing #but im just so frustrated and burned out #like i literally started going to counceling because i was barelt able to get shit turned in as it was #and now i cant even go to that #we had last week off of classes technically bjt the teaxher for my hardest class still gave us like two major fucking projects due tomorrow #and im having to do stupid fucking 2+ hour video calls for another class #im almost ready to just write these classes off as Ls

[eury--dice]

history, huh?

chapter 3: propius

(check the rb for chapters 1 + 2 on tumblr + ao3 links!)

Adam was woken at 5 o’clock on the dot with a series of sharp knocks on his door. “Up and Adam,” Gansey’s voice called, making the one stupid dad joke that always set Adam’s blood to a boil. He was too tired to react, however.

“Kindly leave until a later time,” he called, his voice heavy with sleep. “I don’t have class for another three hours.”

Gansey opened the door anyway, striding in with more pep than anyone should have in the morning.

“You’ve made the tabloids, my friend. Your weekend with Ronan finally hit.”

“Did you sleep at all?”

“Nope,” Gansey said cheerfully. “‘From America, With Love: Ronan and Adam flaunt friendship.’” He turned on his heel once he’d crossed the length of the room, which Adam could never forget was formerly Malia Obama’s, and seated himself in Adam’s desk chair.

Adam had never been closer to considering strangulation. He elected to shove his hearing ear into his pillow instead.

Unfortunately, the muffled sounds of Gansey speaking still made their way in. “‘Photos: Adam’s Weekend in England,’ oh, that’s boring…ah-hah: ‘New Bromance Alert? Pics of FSOTUS and Prince Ronan.’”

Adam resigned himself to his fate and mentally promised himself a giant cup of coffee. “As long as I’m getting fewer death threats on Twitter, I’m happy,” he mumbled into his blankets.

Gansey ignored him. “Why are you so tired? It’s the hour of kings, time to be awake and alive.”

“I’d settle for dead if it meant I could sleep at this point, to be frank.”

“Please don’t be frank. Be Adam.”

Adam sat up, eyeing Gansey in his wire-framed glasses with disdain. “Any more puns and I suffocate myself with this pillow.”

“Please don’t,” Gansey said, but his eyes had already returned to his screen. While he read through the articles, he continued his line of questioning. “Working on the campaign late last night?”

“Not really,” Adam admitted. “I had a Press and the Presidency paper to write.”

“Just write ‘I’m Adam Parrish’ on a piece of loose-leaf paper to turn it in and you’ll probably get an A. You live it every day, for Christ’s sake.”

“And yet I still need to cite sources in Chicago Advanced.”

“You’d think nepotism would work out more in your favor.” He flicked to a fresh article, a gesture Adam only recognized from all the other times Gansey had done it. “Luckily, I think the press is eating this one up.”

Adam grimaced. “Fantastic.”

“Not-campaign-ruining, you mean.”

“That too, I suppose.” He wanted nothing more than to flop back against his pillows and get the sleep his body so desperately craved after being jet lagged for a week, but he fought the urge.

“That _ People _exclusive takes the cake, I think. I didn’t realize how much you cherished your relationship with Ronan.”

“Fuck off, please. Or end my misery.”

“No to both. Why are you even taking that press course?”

Adam slid out from under his blankets, rolling his shoulders to try and wake up more. “Curiosity, I guess. It never hurts to learn more of what not to do.”

Gansey looked up from his phone to level a glance at Adam. “And what have you learned so far?”

“…Don’t have a sex scandal?”

“You _ would _need someone to tell you that.”

_ “Hey,” _Adam said, affecting outrage.

Gansey lifted his thumb to run over his lower lip, tilting his head consideringly. “One of us three will probably have a scandal before your mother’s second term is up.”

“If there is a second.”

“Chin up, young padawan. With you working on it we’re guaranteed.”

“I don’t know, Gansey,” Adam replied. “I don’t think I’m the good luck charm you believe in.”

“Of course you are,” Gansey said. “We won the first time, no?”

Adam glanced exaggeratedly around the room and to the phone in Gansey’s hand. “I’d say so. That or we’re about to get questioned very thoroughly about the the events of last three years.”

“Don’t make me cut you off on the true-crime videos.”

His eyes narrowed, focusing on Gansey. “Don’t you dare.”

“Blue agrees, anyway,” Gansey said, successfully deflecting topics. “Said there’s a ninety-four percent chance you’ll get into a sex scandal before the general.”

“Both of you date more than I do, why am I the one who’s supposedly having a sex scandal?” Once his initial outrage passed, disbelief crept in at the time of day. “Did you just text Blue at five AM and get a response? How the hell did you manage that?”

“She’s been up,” Gansey dismissed. Adam stared at him for a moment, and then Gansey seemed to feel the weight of his stare. His eyes widened almost comically. “Oh, Christ, no, not that. Nate Silver asked for another set of eyes on the Superbowl predictions, and she’s trying to get a shoo-in with them before the primaries begin. I just brought her some coffee.”

“And you didn’t bring me any?”

“You’re the only one of us who hasn’t been up all night. You need coffee the least of all of us.”

“Don’t blame me for your bad decisions.” Adam squinted at Gansey. “Were you working on an article all night or something?”

He snorted. “Hardly. They’ve been blocking all of my pieces. Too far from my mother’s politics, too far from your mother’s, too controversial, too critical, all in that order.”

“Thought you were liking the _ Post _gig?”

“On paper,” Gansey dismissed. “I’ve defaulted to writing about Welsh history.”

“Sounds like it’s right up your alley, then.”

“Once again, on paper.”

“How do you even connect the Welsh to the hellscape of American politics?”

Gansey waved a hand. “‘Eternal spirit,’ ‘fighting for honor,’ ‘remembering Glendower and others who set a pristine model,’ et cetera, et cetera.”

“People read that? That just sounds like you in high school spouting off again.”

“Yes, Adam. People read it.” Gansey squinted at his phone again. “Twitter _ really _likes you and Ronan together.”

“We’re exciting,” Adam said dryly, reaching for his laptop. He scanned over his most recent paper while Gansey dramatically narrated replies to the gif of them on _ This Morning. _

“‘Either of them could stab me and give me one of those smiles and I’d thank them,’ Jesus Christ,” Gansey read, “They really love your fake smiles… ‘name a more iconic duo, I’ll wait,’ hm, maybe any other duo? ‘Oh my God, just _ kiss already.’” _

Adam choked out a laugh as Gansey punctuated the last one with a dramatic and uncharacteristic hand wave. “At least it’s working,” he allowed, shutting his laptop once he felt secure about his essay. “Now get out. _ Some _of us have places to be.”

Adam’s phone buzzed on his way out of his cursed Presidency and the Press course.

Somehow, the interest of those around him seemed to pique even higher when he looked at his phone instead of in front of him. It wasn’t a new sensation by any means; ever since starting at Georgetown, he’d felt eyes on him constantly, but the intensity increased tenfold each time his classmates thought he was too occupied to see them staring. He noticed every time, but of course nothing could be done about it.

The name _ HRH shitty bird boy _ popped across his screen. How strange - in only a week, he’d almost entirely forgotten that the name he had (quite maturely) given Ronan in his phone was… _ that. _As he swiped the notification open, he felt a certain amount of trepidation as to what a technology-averse prince would ever text him about.

His harassment and emergency fears flew out the window with the body of the text, simply a screenshot of their tabloid appearance with the added caption of _ youre the nerd and I’m the cool jock. _

_ Competitive yachting? _Adam asked in response, nearly tripping over his own feet while typing.

_ ffs i told them to stop writing that as my preferred sport. _

Adam felt his lips twist against his will.

_ I’m sorry, this is a common problem? _

_ you can’t even imagine. _

_ I appreciate that they consider competitive yachting a regal sport. _

_ status symbols and faux athleticism are the core of the monarchy. _

Adam blinked down at his phone, stopping short abruptly. Persephone, from behind him, adjusted accordingly.

He…hadn’t been expecting this. Any of it. The text, the almost-joking response, the casual statement about the monarchy being ridiculous despite him being in it. Their conversation ended there, and it was probably for the better. He resumed his pace, trying to get to his next class. He almost forgot about the texts, too; save for a rogue screenshot Adam sent him of speculation on Ronan’s presence in Majorca, nothing else went between them.

Sometimes, Adam could _ just barely _ get away with being on his phone during briefings with Maura. He hated to be distracted during them - they were _ important, _he knew that, but all the same occasionally she spent a particularly long time covering an obscure dignitary’s comments and he’d gotten too few hours of sleep to truly focus and someone or other was blowing up his phone.

Maura’s topic of conversation this week appeared to be a series of Buzzfeed articles run on the lack of pets in the First Family, complete with a power point dissecting their points

The glamorous side of politics, truly. Discussing a clickbait series in the West Wing briefing room.

_ iMessage chat to _ ** HRH shitty bird boy **

_ Resumed 30 October, 2019, 1:47 pm _

_ if you want a pet chainsaw dragged in a mouse the other day _

_ Ah yes, the mouse. A pet eternally beloved by constituents. _

_ we can’t all have a raven, that would be unfair _

_ Your heights of cool and goth are truly dizzying. _

_ im glad you agree _

_ Modest, too. _

_ it comes with the wealth and fame _

_ As long as you’re being straight with me, feel free to be as ‘modest’ as you like. _

_ i’m the prince of bloody england. i’m straight all the damn time _

_ That’s the biggest lhxemxlp_

His phone slipped from between his fingers, landing with a dull _ thud _onto the wooden floor. Adam stared helplessly at it, a sleek black rectangle hiding between types of oak. But Maura repeated his name, and he suddenly remembered what had made him drop his phone in the first place. He dragged his eyes up, staring at a spot on the sterile white wall just beyond Maura’s head.

“Adam,” she said a third time, but he refused to look her in the eyes. She conceded immediately. “What the hell?”

He felt his cheeks darken as blood found its way up. “I’m sorry.”

Her lips thinned just like Blue’s did, turning into a dark line on her brown face. “Do you even remember what I was saying?”

“Er…” he scrambled. “Don’t mention animals in any public setting?”

She looked at him for a long moment, then picked up a mug of coffee and took a controlled sip.

“Get out?” she said once she’d swallowed her sip.

“I-”

She pointed to the door. “I am impossibly busy. Take your phone and go laugh in private.”

He nodded once, finally, ducking under the table with his spine pressed against the bottom to grab his phone. His fingers closed around it, grip the edge of the wood, and he was up in a second.

He couldn’t regret it.

Because - well, here was the weird thing.

He wanted another text from Ronan.

_ iMessage chat to _ ** HRH shitty bird boy **

_ Resumed 31 October, 2019, 12:03 am _

_ it’s finally spooky day in your hell country _

_ Isn’t it 5 am in England? _

_ Do you ever sleep? _

_ bold of you to ask that question _

_ halloween, bitch _

_ it waits for no one _

_ I’m really going to have to advocate better habits. _

_ I understand, you’re enthused for Halloween. _

_ do you even care at all _

_ I enjoy halloween like everyone else. _

_ Though your level of excitement feels a little pagan? _

when the skeleton army rises Jesus will forgive me

_ appreciate this glorious day parrish _

_ I have enough fear in my daily life, thanks. _

_ I filed my own taxes all throughout highschool. _

_ And payed rent. _

_ The horrors of early adulthood. _

_terrifying _

_ terrible i’ll never deal with that shit _

_ You’re the prince, we know. _

_ Do you also not have enough horror in your life? _

of course i do

_ but parrish. listen. _

_ this is the one day a year all the monarchy and parliament dress as they are in life _

_ hideous monsters _

He laughed a little harder at that than he should have.

_ You’re telling me the monarchy plays dress up. _

_ ronan_frankensteins_monser_costume.jpg _

_ matthew insisted. did this on me an hour ago _

_ oh my god _

The makeup _ was _really good, and the monstrous look suited him, but hell if Adam ever said that to him.

He may have saved it to his phone, though, to glimpse Ronan’s green-paint covered skin and crooked, drawn-on stitch smile on his perfectly blank face.

Although Adam certainly didn’t intend to make a habit of texting the Prince of England, when he saw a funny bird or a stupid article or an obscure meme his first thought became _I should send that to Ronan. _And Ronan, clearly, was thinking along the same lines. The sheer number of sole emojis that seemed to tell a Ronan-centric story he received at all hours only affirmed that. And somehow, between all the pictogramme and jokes, he started to learn snatches of information. Declan was a better storyteller than Ronan, Matthew was the only person who could make Ronan attend family dinners ever since their father died, and his mother - the Queen of England, Adam had to remind himself sometimes - drew further away every day.

The problem became that he always wanted to know _ more, _and Adam didn’t know if that was due to his rampant curiosity or something else buried deep inside of him, and he was too afraid of what he might uncover by digging to look.

Adam had very few friends.

Most of that came with the territory of being part of the First Family; nothing made casual acquaintances drift away quite like being constantly surveilled by Secret Service agents and trailed by NDAs. Adam didn’t have time for small talk and coffee, a fact which he sometimes lamented and often loved. Part of this came from the type of friendship he became accustomed to with Gansey and Blue, the all-encompassing type of friendship that took over their minds in spare moments and forged ties stronger than steel between them. He’d probably forgotten how to have normal, casual friends, not friends an outsider would think he was completely in love with. And, perhaps more than anything else, it came back down to Robert Parrish and his heavy hands and ringing words. Adam’s memories of his first few years were scattered and inconsistent, but they filled up a too-large corner of his brain all the same. Blue, who entered his life at the tender age of 5, had won his trust with greater ease than their other peers, and Gansey had done the same in high school. They knew him and what he’d been through, and so they could (platonically) love him for all that he was. When campaigning and political office came into the mix, that full truth of Adam Parrish became a secret to guard like any else.

But, oddly enough, Adam had a third friend: Noah Czerny, the thirty-three-year-old baby of the Senate.

Noah and Adam met through an Aglionby networking event while Adam was a student and Noah a recently-elected congressperson, both green as grass in different ways. Adam, thrown neck-deep into a Presidential campaign, had questions, and most of the time Noah had answers. Although all of the professors had warned Adam to proceed cautiously with Czerny, Adam found nothing to fear. Noah had mellowed out quite a bit from his high school days, becoming a familiar face at political events and a surprisingly-wise piece of advice always at the ready. Despite Adam’s near hero-worship of this brand-new politician, half-Mexican just like him and just as frequent to lose sleep rewriting policies that unjustly taxed communities of color or defunded children’s education, they’d formed an improbable bond. The summer before his sophomore year, Noah let Adam closer to the politics process than even his mother had as he ran for the Senate, and Adam took to it almost at once. A politician twelve years his senior was perhaps not a conventional choice of friend, but Adam seldom remained conventional.

It wasn’t too out of the ordinary for Adam to arrive at Noah’s congressional office unannounced, either with business or without, and so when Adam rounded on Noah’s stark, bright, white office, he wasn’t at all surprised to see him ducked over an obscene number of papers.

“It’s Friday night,” Noah said without looking up, barely before Adam had even crossed into the office. As always, the tiny burst of color in the Pride flag deposited in a tourist mug drew Adam’s eye for a long moment before Noah himself did. All Adam could see of him was his brown curls, resolutely held in place even as bent over a desk. “Go party or something.”

“Damn, I didn’t _ think _ this looked like a frat. I knew something was off.” Adam slid into one of the seats across the desk. He had several inches on Noah, but he always felt smaller in those chairs across from the most important legislators in the country. “What’s got you here at eight PM?” Off of Noah’s brief, incredulous look, he amended to _ “this _particular time, I know. You’re salaried. Shouldn’t you…ever go home?”

“I’m trying to get something done so that there’s at least a hope of banning fracking in our lifetimes.”

Adam scoffed quietly, though not for lack of faith in Noah. “Let me know when you’ve cracked the code.”

_ “If, _but sure, I’ll be in contact. Now, why are you here?”

“You didn’t answer my leaving-the-building question.”

Noah’s eyes flickered shut briefly. “Jesus, Adam, I am salaried by the taxpayers of millions of Americans. I’m not going to slack on them.”

“Fine, but don’t make me drag Gansey in here to make you take a long nap and drink some hot soup.”

Adam’s phone buzzed, but he ignored it; despite it being almost 1 am in England, Ronan could presumably take the blame. Noah asked, “Did you catch the Fox town hall last night?”

Adam grimaced. He’d seen part of it, trying to multitask with his macroeconomics homework at the same time, but instead he’d fallen asleep with his head on the laptop screen. “Part of it. It was a shitshow.”

“You can say that again.”

“I honestly thought that Whelk would pull more support from the extremists. He just seemed desperate last night.”

“Oh, he definitely was.” Noah leaned away from his desk, appraising Adam as though considering his words carefully. “We went to school together.”

“Aglionby?” Adam asked. He knit his eyebrows together. “How did I not realize he went there?”

“The school doesn’t exactly love toting him.”

“He’s older than you, though, right?”

“Yes, Adam,” Noah said slowly. “I’m thirty-three. He’s already announced a bid for President. How old do you have to be to run for executive office?”

Adam scowled. “I just came from class, I can’t use my brain. He was a senior when you were a freshman?”

“Yep,” Noah replied. “We were paired in upperclassmen-lowerclassmen bonding.” His lip curled a little. “He outed me.”

“Wait, _ what?” _

“He outed me to the school,” Noah repeated. He looked back down to the papers on his desk, his voice softening to a barely audible level. “I trusted him, which was a dumb thing to do, but I was a really stupid freshman. Scared, too. He was a friendly personality.”

_ “Fuck,” _Adam said, pushing a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry, that’s…”

“Terrible?” A bit of Noah’s life returned to him. “Don’t worry about it, kid. It was years ago.”

“But then…Whelk, he was the reason you…?”

“He didn’t make my parents react the way they did. They did that on their own. But no, they wouldn’t have known without him.”

Adam shook his head. “I thought it wasn’t possible to like the guy less, if only because of his politics, but he’s done it.”

“Done what? Received the full wrath of Adam Parrish?”

“He very well may.”

“Don’t worry about him. Whelk will be out soon, believe me. I know him. He may have his parent’s money, but he’s barely old enough to hold office and he’s running on fumes.”

“If he’s not, I’ll convince Blue to skew stats until he is.” Noah knew just as well as Adam that that wouldn’t change anything, but it lightened the air anyway. “It seems kind of pointless to entertain any of them. Greenmantle is probably going to win no matter what.”

Colin Greenmantle: former antique collector, congressperson from Massachusetts, and millionaire with the funds to take over the Republican primary, and very possibly the whole election, before any papers were even filed.

“It’s early,” Noah said. “Too early to worry about it. Too early to even be _ talking _ about it.”

Adam slanted a half-smile at him. “Never too early to worry about an election.”

Noah looked back to his papers before broaching the next topic. “I hear you’ve got a job on your mother’s re-election campaign.”

“Once I graduate, and maybe a little earlier, yeah.”

Noah cast a glance around the office. “Are you sure this is the life you want?”

Adam knew he was referring to the constant bustle, the fear of disappointing and harming instead of helping, and the ever-evolving media scrutiny. He knew it was the closest Noah would give to a warning. “I’m sure.”

Noah sighed. “Fine.” He pointed to the door. “But I won’t let you throw your youth away, not this early. After you graduate, Parrish. Go get drunk and make out with someone.”

Adam stood, his frame unfolding and standing tall. “You are a terrible role model.”

“Can’t hear you over the loud music.”

“You and Blue and Gansey - if I die of alcohol poisoning, it’s all your fault.”

“Feel free to blame, so long as you’re out there and not here.”

“Alright, alright, Jesus. You’ve made your point.”

“Finally,” Noah called after Adam’s retreating form. But Adam could hear the amusement in his voice all the same.

For someone so allergic and averse to technology, Ronan sure seemed to share a lot with Adam.

_ iMessage chat to _ ** HRH shitty bird boy **

_ Resumed 13 Novemeber, 2019, 8:38 pm _

_ bird.m4a _

_ she wont stop nuzzling my head?? _

_ Picking for lice, probably. _

_ God knows you have so many. _

_ my scalp is perfectly clean _

_ Forgive me for abstaining from running my hands over it all the same. _

_ I’ll leave that to her. _

He didn’t always respond, though.

Adam tried not to read into it.

(He mostly succeeded.)

Adam never tired of stepping into the Oval Office. On the Wednesday right before Thanksgiving, he stepped in with the same amount of awe he always had, allowing himself a single moment to glance around at the wide windows and perfectly upholstered furniture. He sat on one of the couches without preamble.

His mother looked up from what was in front of her on the desk and smiled, albeit a tired one that frayed a bit at the corners; Adam had seen a few particularly troublesome foreign dignitaries be escorted away not long before, so he didn’t have to guess at the reason. Ana looked like she belonged to sit right there amongst all the history at that desk, from the sun dipping just beneath her halo of hair straightened within an inch of its life and her stick-straight posture. It might have been a lot at times, but seeing her was a reminder of all the good that came from her position.

She rose and walked to join him, her heels clacking lightly at the ground before she sank onto the cushion beside him and pulled him into a loose hug. Adam had overtaken Ana in height some years before, but there had been a long gap in there as he grew - like one day he was three and a half feet tall and wrapped tightly in her arms and the next he was off to Georgetown and several heads taller. She pulled away after a minute, slowly and bit-by-bit as though savoring her moments as a mother rather than a president. Her hand reached to muss his hair a moment later, and Adam ducked away instinctively before exchanging an identical grin with her.

“God, I forgot how light your hair looks in here,” she said, leaning back a little. “Almost golden.” She tilted her head as though examining him. “Nah. Still brown. But much lighter.”

“How could you forget? The photo here was in _ GQ, _the same article that first declared me the family golden boy.” At the corner of their conversation was the knowledge of where he’d inherited that hair color, as it sure as hell wasn’t from Ana. But he let the thought stay buried, patting the dirt back down with the shovel himself. Their relationship always had an absence in it, and he didn’t particularly feel like deepening it in the Oval Office.

“Ah, so that’s the one I have to blame for your big head,” she responded, reaching for a piece of fruit from the little coffee table. It was a familiar half-jest, borne from Adam’s constant contradicting confidence and imposter syndrome. Idiosyncrasies were just Adam’s style, never one to make things easy for himself. He sometimes wondered if so much of himself conflicted because he tried to walk the middle road so often, balancing his weight over all sides to minimize the damage if the rug was yanked from beneath him, like lying down on a bed of nails: a thousand tiny, dull pains over one sharp, potentially fatal puncture. She smiled again. “Is Noah doing well?”

“For Noah he is. He would barely look up from some new reports on fracking, seems hopeful he’ll be able to garner enough support.”

Ana snorted. “Good luck with that. I’ll be shocked if it reaches the floor for debate.”

“That makes three of us, then.” He nodded towards the desk. “Bad meeting?”

The frown lines on her face deepened. “Don’t get me started,” she drawled, falling back fully against the cushions. After only a moment, she _ did _ get started regardless of what Adam did or didn’t do. “We received the memo a few days ago that a delegation from Sweden wanted to be in contact, right? Fairly standard stuff, Maura gets back to them quickly because they worded it like it was an urgent matter, and there’s a back and forth for a while about scheduling and accommodations. We’re of the belief they won’t be out here until Monday at the earliest.”

Adam knit his eyebrows together. “It’s not Monday.”

“You fuckin’ tell me. Anyway, I’m halfway through a meeting with a few UN representatives when Maura has to interrupt. They arrived at the White House, claimed they had a meeting, and just…didn’t leave. Evan Maura couldn’t get through to them, which is the thing that scared me a little.”

“You should have put Calla on it.”

“Believe me, if she were here, I would’ve. But as it was, I had to hurry out the UN members to deal with decidedly more antagonistic foreign relations.”

“Why were they even here?”

“They wanted to discuss the military relationship between our countries-”

“What the hell?”

“Yeah, I don’t know,” she said, waving one hand in dismissal. “Any points they were trying to make went straight out the window when they started pulling out cue cards, to be honest. I might have to call Löfven to smooth things over.”

“Well, there’s never a dull moment,” Adam said fairly. His mother snorted.

“Sure isn’t. Anyway,” she said, glancing at her watch, “it’s now Thanksgiving, so no more meetings for twenty-four hours.”

“It’s Wednesday.”

She pulled a face in dismissal. “We take our patriotism seriously, darlin’. Don’t want our home state gettin’ too mad.”

“Of course.”

Ana checked her watch again. “The turkeys will be on their way to the Willard by now, so we’re not ruining any American traditions today.”

“Wait,” Adam said. “Where?”

She looked at him, her eyes narrowing. “The Willard. They stay there every year.”

“What? No. _ No. _You cannot give the turkeys five-star accommodations with taxpayer dollars. You’ve been doing this every year?!”

“It’s public knowledge, sugar. Every news outlet mentions it.”

“How did I not-” Adam cut off. “There is no way you can do that! They’re turkeys! It’s a waste!”

“It’s precedent, Adam. I’m not sure if there’s anything to be done at this point.”

Adam stood quickly, pacing back and forth, and his mother stood behind him. “It’s a _ blatant _waste of money, I’m shocked we haven’t already been-”

“Hon, every president so far has done the same-”

“Imagine the story if we broke the tradition! Even conservatives would have to applaud your frugality-”

“We can’t play games with tradition, you know they already call us disrespectful-”

“-we can’t be using _ taxpayer money-” _

“-by all means, if you have the time to find lodging for two forty-pound turkeys-”

“Put them in my room!” Adam blurted. His mother stopped short.

“You’re not serious,” she said. “We’re not putting the turkeys for me to pardon in your bedroom.”

“Yes, we are.”

“Adam-”

He shifted his feet, coming to a stop. He lifted himself up to his full height. Debate Captain Adam, six-time Best Delegate Adam, and First Son Adam converged into one. His mother barely looked phased.

“Oh, God,” his mother said. “I can’t listen to another sales pitch.”

“Madame President,” Adam began, “I’d like to echo the sentiments of the forebears before me-”

“Nope,” she said, making double-time back to her desk. “You’re not going to filibuster me.”

“In 2018 alone, at least forty-three articles in the Wall Street Journal accused the sitting administration of wasting tax dollars. This came on the heels of a tax increase for Americans making more than ten million dollars per year and the subsequent pushback from a more conservative electorate in Congress.”

“Fine!” Ana said, her hand falling to the desk with a thump. She brought it back up to her head to massage her temple a moment later. “I’m too tired to hear my own history read back at me. You win.”

He sat back down on the couch, crossing his legs primly. “Perfect,” he said, allowing himself to smile once again.

#trc rwrb au #rwrb au #trc #the raven cycle #pynch #pynch au #adam parrish #ronan lynch #richard gansey #richard campbell gansey iii #noah czerny #rwarb #rw&rb #the raven boys #the dream thieves #blue lily lily blue #the raven king #wip #wips #my wips

[melto]

sorry fellas this is just gonna be me bitching about some threatre major stuff

im like. so extremely fucking upset right now like we open tomorrow and this show will almost be over and its like. i LOVE theatre. i love being a stage manager i love it so bad and i know what i have signed myself up for but the treatment of workers in the industry is unethical most times and it really does show bad in reference to being a student. like im so truly frustrated with the way that specifically production students in my college are treated because yes. we understand how much work goes into theatre but you CANNOT talk about how it is unfair and unethical and then as professors not do anything on the level you can to combat the systems in which have been in place. like its insane. literally during our 10/12 they talked about how tired the actors and like deck crew/board ops must be which. of course they are 10/12 are just inherently bad in my opinion and we shouldnt be doing them but they are saying this while there are still students stuck in the theatre at this fucking production meeting who have been there/will be there for at least 14 hours at that point. which is more than scheduled and more than any of the staff have been. we all also have work and class on top of this but they make jokes about how overworked we are to the point where it makes me want to fucking tear my hair out. like literally i havent slept or ate or drank hardly for like 2 weeks now and i wont be any better off for like another two and they KNOW this. like fucks sake a professor like walked in on my stress puking in a backroom after the dress last night because i was so fustrated and ill. literally they acknowlage how awful we look and seem and then act concerned before being like oh well<3 cool if you will be in the theatre doing lights until 2am when we joked about how fucking terrible you look. cool if we laugh at the production meeting about how i  almost passed out after standing up that night. lets point out and talk about where exactly they all saw me get so upset and overtired that i started crying on fucking headset uncontrolably because no one would give me the fucking answers i needed and then everyone was getting mad at me because i didnt have them. lets have you literallyhave to talk a student designer off a ledge because some hired grown man is overstepping and youre putting him before your students. 

literally like wooo we’re so cool and hardworking for mangaing to get a show done without theschool getting shut down and during all this c*vid shit. we shuldnt even be doing shows right now literally like the only theatre not dark rn in myarea is us. we’ve had like 7 scares and cases and the whole case admits that they keep partying and we just lost someone on crew today because of all of it and i just have to sit here and keep going because what the fuck else am i supposed to do? i can barely stand up for more than 5 minutes without almost vomiting and passing out right now and i can barely do anything for my other classes or work so im just taking fucking points off everything and i usually dont have issues with keeping up with stuff during all of this. like JESUS i feel so truly suicidal and its literally the only way out of this whole fucking mess until we close in a week and i wouldnt do that to my crew because god. im just so fucking ANGRY. i wouldnt be this fucking angry if my professors werent being so tactless with their words and actions. its BARELY treated as a learning environment for production students which is a whole different conversation about my gripes with how my college choses shows and treats stuff that honestly i could bitch abut for hours but GOD. literally all i do is cry and almost pass out every time i try to do anything right now and im STILL expected to be like emotionally stable through all of these even with people outside my deparemnt even when ive expressed why this specific process has been so hard. like FUCK i cannot ask for even the smallest adacomadation at all without it being an ordeal.couldnt even get myself moved to the booth a day early to help out with my anxiety of not wanting to be calling from house during an invited dress right now. im so tired. Im so tired the unethical work standards for the theatre industry arent even funny like STOP. tech is over so at least the student lx designer whos getting the fuck kicked out of them will be done but me and my team are still stuck here and if that fucking scenic designer whos also doing the stupid fucking video shit who is so fucking demeaning and someone i want to fucking beat the shit out of attempts to change anything during our final dress when all he does is make everything so much harder and then critizie me in front of eveyrone even though he just added like 20 super stupid and fucked up cues that are hard to call and no one gave me fucking time to dry tech them before we go into a run well. Well im gonna start killing people im gonna start swinging im just so FUSTRATED AND MAD GOD WWWHDFJHSKGJLFJKJGKJKJGFS

#if you read this i am so sorry and you are so fucking brave #covid m / #disordered eating m / #news with isaac

[jawnjendes]

the fog will clear up | shawn mendes

chapter 13/?, university au, shawn x goth oc

AN: sry its short and definitely a filler im sry its boring but it helps build up stuff thatll happen next ok ok im sry

*let me know if u wanna be added/removed from the taglist

masterlist | playlist

Annalise woke with a start. She was wide awake immediately. There was no room for sleepily rolling around the sheets, her eyes weren't heavy like always. She didn't know what dying and coming back to life felt like, but she was pretty sure it felt something like that. She had a weird urge to go for a jog.

Staring at the ceiling, Annalise reached towards the nightstand next to her, intending to grab her phone. Her hand touched the bottle, and she picked it up anyway, reading the prescription label.

Annalise Flores SERTRALINE 50MG TABLET Brand name: Zoloft

"You don't waste anytime, huh?" she murmured before setting it back down. Then, she grabbed her phone and checked the time.

8:47am. A new fucking record. Annalise rolled out of bed, unable to stay still.

In the 2 hours she had to kill before work, she tidied up the dorm, ate a decent breakfast, took a shower, and got started on the course work she had to make up. The energy levels were through the roof, she had never been so on edge and productive at the same time. Why wasn't she put on sertraline sooner? Sure, she felt hyperaware and borderline anxious, but that was apart of the process of getting on a new antidepressant. She was getting things done this way. Sure, she jumped when the lock on the door jiggled, but she was up and running anyway!

If she wasn't, she wouldn't have seen Stella entering the dorm. She was surprised to see Annalise on the couch, looking like a deer in headlights.

"Oh… I thought you were asleep. I'll, uh, I'll come back."

"No, wait!" Annalise sounded a little too frantic, but it did stop Stella from leaving. "Uh, come sit down! Please!"

Stella narrowed her eyes slightly as she went to the couch. At least she was willing to listen.

"I, uh, I'm sorry," Annalise began, rubbing the back of her neck. "I'm sorry for what I said. A stupid guy isn't the only good in my life. I have you. You matter to me, and I'm sorry for making you feel like you don't." She really couldn't stop herself from rambling. "I miss you. I miss seeing you here between classes, and I miss your optimism because a bitch could use some of that. And, and I'm sorry for the negativity I've brought in here. I'm working on it now, I swear. Just… come back. Come home… because bro, you're my wife, dude."

It could have been funny, but there was nothing funny about the way she said it. Her eyes were wide and pleading, and she was rubbing her hands together. Stella merely blinked her hazel eyes, nearly overwhelmed by that string of words.

"Look at you, expressing your emotions," she said after a while. "I can see why you hold it back."

Annalise nodded rapidly. "It's my first day on a new medication. Got me all sorts of hyped up, but I'll mellow out in a couple of weeks. And I'm taking therapy seriously again!"

Stella was surprised. "Oh, I see. Well… I've missed you too. Bro…"

"Bro?"

"I'll come home too. Camila's bed is too small for the two of us."

"Bro…"

"I know. I have to update you on all that."

"Br-"

"Okay!" Stella broke out a smile and stood up. "Dame un abrazo, puta."

That was much easier than Annalise had anticipated. She stood up and hugged her best friend, relieved. Stella wasn't one to hold a grudge, nor was she as stubborn as her roommate. It was another person to cross off the list.

~

Shawn had social media mainly to get his music out there. Yes, he interacted with his friends on Snapchat, and some fans on Twitter. Most of the time, Shawn just tweeted when he had new music coming out. He didn't check any of his social media very often, not even to stalk Ann's accounts because she was rarely on her's. He didn't even have his notifications on, purely to keep himself from the possibility of getting too attached to the opinions of random strangers online.

That was why he woke up that morning to a number of texts from Camila.

"SHAAWWNWNN"

"SHAWN IM LKTERSLLY BALD RN"

"CHEKC UR TWITTER RIGHT NOW!!!!!!"

"YOIR FOLLOWERS!!! AAHSKSKSK"

"SKSKSK SHAWNMM IM SCRAMING"

So to Twitter he went. Shawn rubbed sleep out of his eye as he went to his profile. He had around 10k to begin with, that he built up on his own over the last couple of years. He nearly dropped his phone on his face as he read the new number.

50.2k

"What… the fuck?" he breathed out as he sat up in his bed. He scrolled through the list, making sure this wasn't a series of spam bots.

His mentions were just as wild, and it explained the sudden blow up.

@hollaestor: @shawnmendes hiii bella told me to follow you

@samxriv: @shawnmendes i am free to hang out on tuesday to hang out when i am free

@gisellenjh: @shawnmendes bella sent me here and im glad she did! loving your music!

And there were plenty more like that. There were so many tweets, Shawn couldn't even get through all of them. It was making his head spin. There was only one Bella he knew about too… He just couldn't spell her last name. Thankfully, her handle was just @bellasanti, and it was the first one to pop up when he typed it in the search bar.

Right under Bella Santiago's name and the blue checkmark were the two little words: Follows you. Shawn refreshed the page ten times before it sank in. This YouTuber, who has over 2 million followers, somehow found Shawn's music… and she liked it. She liked it enough to tweet about it… 3 days ago.

@bellasanti: underrated spotify artists: @shawnmendes. give him a listen. send him some love. truly talented guy💖

Shawn had only overheard Bella's videos when Ann was watching them in the other room. He never really watched any of her content. But he wanted to pass out at the fact that she took the time to listen to his music and tweet about him. He wanted to jump on the bed. He wanted to call-

He texted Camila back. "Wtf why did no one tell me sooner?? This is so crazy!!!!!"

"We thought you knew and you were keeping it from us!! LMAO congrats rockstar!"

He couldn't believe it. His follower count was rising. He was getting emails from Spotify saying his songs were being added to many different playlists.

@shawnmendes: @bellasanti wow thank you so much! Love you bella❤

He deleted the last bit before tweeting it. Holy shit. Shawn lied back down on the mattress, completely breathless.

How does someone like Bella Santiago find Shawn out in cyberspace? What Spotify rabbit hole did she go down that led her to him? How many of his songs did she listen to? How many songs did she save to her library? How many of those playlist emails were from her? Shawn had so many questions.

~

There were two things Annalise noticed when she was out on the courtyard after Biology. The first thing was a table on the side of the walkway, with a handmade banner hanging off the front. It read in big letters: Shawn Mendes: Live at The Cameron House. Brian, Alessia. and Camila were all sat on the same side at this table, talking to a student who was interested in the little display.

"The lounge called back," Annalise muttered to herself.

The other thing Annalise noticed was Patrick sitting under a tree nearby, reading a book. She went to him first.

The last time she had spoken to Patrick was when they cut up flowers together. He was never one to explicitly state when something has upset him, and he has seen Annalise in a depressive episode before. Annalise knew him well. Patrick kept his distance because he didn't like the negativity around her, and he couldn't afford any more of it himself.

"Hey," she greeted.

His blue eyes tore away from his book to meet her gaze. "'Sup?"

"Trying to be less fucked in the head," she told him.

Patrick nodded in approval. "Cool."

That was all that was needed for the two of them. Content, Annalise turned and went for the table. A small line had formed when she wasn't looking, so she waited behind the last person. However, with three people running the thing, Annalise got to the front fairly quick.

"Oh, she actually showed up," Brian chimed, amused.

"Meaning?" Annalise asked.

"Thought you were too pissed at Shawn to care about his show, that's all."

She swallowed the pit of annoyance, discovering that even more people knew about that. Brian is his friend, though, of course he'd know.

"Selling tickets or something?" Annalise turned her attention to the two girls.

"Yeah! Ten dollars a piece!" Alessia explained.

"Cool, I'll take one."

Just as she opened the flap on her book bag, Camila spoke up.

"Wait. I'm pretty sure Shawn said he wanted to buy you your ticket himself."

Annalise rolled her eyes. "Well, he's not here and I can do things for myself." She pulled out her wallet and paid her own goddamn ticket.

Camila breathed out a laugh. "Are you ever gonna let him do anything nice for you?"

None of your fucking business.

A new thought occurred to Annalise. "Why are tickets being sold for this show? Aren't his gigs usually free?"

"There's more production going into this one," Brian told her. "The lounge gave him the option to make it a ticketed event, and we need to make back what we already put into it. So now, it won't be a performance, it'll be Shawn's performance."

Shawn already knew how to make an audience his bitch, but…

"Alright then." Annalise shrugged and then accepted her ticket and receipt from Alessia.

The ticket alone was already quite extravagant. There were little red roses designed around the edges. This boy really loved his fucking flowers.

"I'm guessing rose petals will fall from the ceiling or something?" she guessed with a chuckle.

"I was given strict orders to not spoil anything," Brian told her, folding his arms.

The two had a mini staredown until Annalise shrugged again. "Whatever."

Then, Camila piped up again, suddenly excited. "Ooh, Ann did you hear? Bella Santiago followed Shawn on Twitter!"

"She what?" Annalise stupidly replied.

Camila practically squealed. "She gave him a shoutout too! He's blowing up on Spotify! Isn't that awesome?"

Annalise wanted to say something, but her brain wasn't quite caught up yet. So she just walked away.

The other three students watched her leave. Needless to say, they were confused.

"Is she ever gonna be happy for him?" Alessia wondered.

"I think she was excited?" Camila said tilting her head.

"I can't believe Shawn is going through all this trouble for that," Brian said with a scoff.

"I can still hear you!" Annalise called over her shoulder as she kept walking.

All three of them went red in the face, embarrassed. Brian would have made a comment about her being a vampire with supersonic hearing, but he didn't want to be called out again.

_______

taglist: @normalcyisoverrated-beyou  @ilsolee @mendesromano @1-800-khalid-mendussy @kitykatnumber @strangerliaa @iloveshawnieboi @goldenmndes @shawnvvmendes @shawnsunflower @shawmndes @ruinhoney @someoneunimportantxx @calyumthomas @yourdeflightfullyleft @havethetimeeofyourlifee @wronglanemendes @chillingbythesea @softmendesss @mutuallynotmutual

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes smut #shawn x goth gf #aahhhh its so short n boring im so srryyy

[era-of-new-beginnings]

The Tragic Suicide of Virgil Black Ch. 2

TW: Bullying, Panic Attack, Violence (just a punch), Minor Negligence, Self-Deprecation, Swearing, Unsympathetic Deceit and Remus.

Damien is Deceit* (This was made before the new video so I will start to use Deceit’s real name in the next chapter, but for now I don't want to have spoilers for the new video in case people haven't watched it.)

---------------------------------------------------------

Okay so, Dear Journal, today had started out as a pretty normal day. Until it turned into an utter shit show! One bad thing after another and now I’m just sitting on my bedroom floor writing in this stupid thing….I guess if I’m going to do this whole tell my story thing, I should start at the beginning of the day.

Like I said, it was normal, and right on time Damien and his buds came up to me while I was walking to school.

~

Virgil was walking down the same path he does everyday, as he had learned a while ago changing paths never stopped Damien. It was almost normal when he and his goonies walked right next to him. He barely had time to react as he was shoved harshly into a fence, the metal digging into his shoulder and his head knocking on it a little. His face scrunched up in a wince before he could stop it, and he wasn’t surprised to find that they had taken his bag.

All of them reaching in and grabbing whatever they could, before throwing it to the ground. He just sighed internally as the (cliche) bullies continued. Eventually, they finally got bored, and with one final shove to him they were on their way. He crouched down gingerly and started to pick up whatever they had thrown out, which was basically everything.

Once that was done he got up and finished walking to our meet up spot with everyone else. They were all there already, Logan and Roman bickering about something and Patton trying to make sure it stayed peaceful. He sighed softly with a bit of a smile before covering it up and walking over to them.

He can see when Patton notices my presence, not only because he perks up like a dog but also because he basically slaps the other two on their chests. Virgil smirks and raises an eyebrow at Roman’s offended noises. Finally both him and Logan gives him their attention, which makes him blush and hope that his foundation covers it. “..Hey guys” He mumbled quietly, which wasn’t out of the ordinary really. His anxiety made it hard for him to talk at school at all but these three always knew how to get close to people.

After getting a chorus of responses back, the bell rings and they all go their separate ways. Except for Virgil and Patton, since they shared first period together. Something was off today though, something was wrong with Patton. Patton liked to keep up his dad like personality, and anytime they walked anywhere together Patton would make a pun or two (or few). Not only that but he had been fidgeting with the sleeves of the cardigan wrapped around his shoulders, which he only did….when he was hiding something.

Not realizing Virgil’s internal turmoil about it, Patton began to get uncomfortable with the silence and started to ramble about the first thing that popped in his mind. Which of course, had to be Winnie the Pooh. Practically regressing into a younger state of mind as if that will make him stop thinking about whatever was bothering him. Virgil had known him long enough to remember his ticks and fidgets. How to tell when he was lying, or nervous, or pretending to be happy.

The thing was, Patton hadn’t lied to them since they’d shared a night crying in each other's arms about their lives. He can feel the pressure in his chest at the thought. Why now? Why would Patton lie to him now, what was so bad he felt like he couldn't tell Virgil. He was sitting now, in a desk in his class. His class….what class was he in? He had to get out, he had to go. He stood up on shaky legs and slipped out the classroom door unnoticed.

Barely making it to the bathroom before collapsing, digging his nails into his arms, his hands moving back and forth between that and tugging (practically ripping) his hair. His chest felt constricting and everything felt wrong. There was an unknown pressure just pressing against every inch of his body. He stayed there for the rest of the period and some of the next one. He wanted to go home, but he knew his mother was at work and would yell at him for just randomly calling in.

So instead, he did the next best thing. He went to the detention teacher's class, knocking lightly on the doorframe as Mr. Sanders looked up at him. They shared a brief bit of eye contact before Mr. Sanders nodded to him and let him into the room. He took up his usual seat in the corner while Mr. Sanders called his teachers to get his assignments.

He stayed there, working silently until lunch. Part of him just wanted to stay where he was, in seclusion, away from any and all people. Especially his three crushes, they would know instantly something was wrong with him and wouldn't let up till they knew. Still, he must've scared Patton earlier by just disappearing.

So instead he just buckled up and grabbed his bag and headed out the door and through the hallway. Trying to calm himself and seem normal by the time he got to the table. Par for the course, Roman was adamantly talking about theatre like usual. Only recently had he roped Patton and Logan into it too. Virgil however had refused aadamatly, saying that he just didn't want to when the reality was he couldn't do after school things much cause he had to help out his mother and Remy.

He sat down at the table, head tilted so his hoodie would hide most of his face. He draws lightly in his sketchbook while barely listening to the conversation until he hears Roman say his name for the third time. Attention gotten, Virgil looks up at Roman’s face in confusion. He realizes that Roman had been talking to him, so he closes his sketchbook to silently say he's listening now.

Roman huffs and gestures wildly to Virgil “see? This is exactly what im talking about! He doesn't even care!” He sneers at Virgil and Virgil can feel the sharp feeling in his chest at the words. “W-what?” he asks, stuttering slightly in surprise. Roman throws his hands up, frustrated “You are stubborn as ever, ignoring me? Seriously? I get that you don't want to be in the theatre but you didn't even hear me out!”

Theatre, of course it was about the stupid fucking theatre. Virgil just sighs and shakes his head “Roman I’m not trying to ignore you, i've just had a bad day. I spaced out, I’m sorry.” And Roman just…. just barks a sharp laugh and glares “we all have bad days Virgil, that doesn't give you a right to be rude to everyone around you. You know what i think? I think that your a self-obsessed asshole! You don't think about anybody but yourself! I mean really, I knew you haven't liked me since the beginning but if you hate me so much, why didn't you just say so!”

Virgil could feel his hands shaking, whether with panic or rage was unknown for now. His shoulders were curled and risen defensively and he had gathered himself enough to glare harshly instead of bawling. He slammed his hands down on the table “of course you think that! I haven't even done anything wrong and yet your spouting nonsense! You didn't even ask why because you were so focused on insulting me and making me the bad guy. Like you always fucking do! I can't believe I ever thought that you'd changed! You are such an arrogant pompous bastard!”

He quickly stood, haphazardly shoving stuff in his backpack while the others gathered from their shock. Patton was the first to recover slightly, scrambling for words “o-okay now kiddos, both of you are spitting out some real harsh things. And over what? So why don't we just- just sit back down and talk through this minor dispute!”. Roman slammed his own hands down on the table, ignoring Patton ``Speak for yourself! You have no right to be mad at me! I didn’t do anything wrong!”

Virgil just growls, throws on his backpack and goes to walk away. But of course, Roman wasn't one for being ignored. So instead he grabbed Virgil's wrist before he could go any further. Virgil himself felt a spike of fear at the touch and was set instantly on edge “Let go!” he yelled viciously. But Roman only sneered back, ranting on and on, his grip tightening on Virgil's wrist anytime he struggled. Virgil snapped and yelled at him a few times but Roman just rolled his eyes and continued. Virgil was at the peak of his panic and wasn’t standing for it anymore as he teared back and punched Roman in the jaw, effectively making him let go as Virgil turns and books it out of the school and doesn't stop until he’s home.

His breaths are panicked and short and his vision was already starting to blur with sweat and tears. He manages to get to the bathroom before all but collapsing on the floor. Tearing at his hair and scratching his arms. Breathing was nonexistent and he could hear his thoughts spiral violently. Who knew if Roman would forgive him after this or if the others would take his side if he didn’t. He’d lose not only his only friends, but his three crushes. He stays there for hours and hours until he can hear the front door click, signaling that his mother is home.

Shoving himself off the floor and checking himself in the mirror (He looked dead) before fixing himself up to be presentable and going downstairs. He mumbled a quick hello to his mother before helping her with the groceries. He could see her strained smile as she thanked him. He just gives an awkward shrug before finishing putting things away, except for what they were going to use for dinner. He gets the required pans out to start cooking, him and his mom tending to switch cooking nights.

Remy isn’t home yet, but that's not unusual. He’s not even sure if his mom realizes his absence anymore. His hands tighten on the wooden spoon he's using to stir the noodles with. He reminds himself to breathe and not think like that. His mother provides for him, and that's more than enough. He's not ungrateful really, just worries sometimes that she doesn't love them.

After finishing up dinner, he sets the table and serves up the food. Pulling out his phone real quick to text Remy, although he knows that he’ll have to save him food in the fridge. If he even eats that to be honest, though if he doesn't either him or his mom can have that for lunch. They finish up their dinner in silence until his mom retires for bed after a long day and he gets a start on dishes. After those are done he trails up to his room and flops onto his bed. Sighing heavily he shifts to get comfortable and catches a glimpse of the journal on his desk. Thinking back to the reason he has it, he sighs once again and grabs the journal and a pen and starts to write.

~

Dear Journal, what the fuck is wrong with me!? This entire day was like a train wreck in slow motion and I don't even know why! I don't know what Patton's hiding from me or why. And I don't even know what made Roman blow a short fuse. Here I was starting to think he might actually like me, platonic or not, but i guess i was wrong. What do I do? Apologize to Roman or ask Patton about what he’s hiding?

-------------------------------------------------------

So! What do you guys think!? Also your first real option to change the story! Apologize to Roman or ask Patton about what he’s hiding? Lemme know in the comments, the one that gets the most comments will determine the answer. Also send me asks on tumblr! @era-of-new-beginnings

#sander sides #ts deceit #ts logan #ts patton #ts remus #ts remy #ts roman #ts virgil #my writing #trigger warnings #T.T.S.V.B. #LAMP

[dreammutual-remade]

high school!donghyuck

request: idk if you’re taking reqs but i really like ur highscool aus so if u want to write one abt hyuck ill be :^))))))) - anonymous

word count: 5.1k

a/n: oof its been awhile unnies!!!! ive had exams for the past two weeks and I still have exams now so im sorry for not posting anything but reblogs with headassery in the tags!!! we are continuing the high school series n renjun is next!! since I got like 3 requests for him !!!!! hhehhehehheheh its gonna b cute <3 anyways hope u enjoy this I love my lil duckie baby

masterlist

mark, renjun, jeno, donghyuck, jaemin, chenle, jisung

big oof i’m gonna cry while writing this

i’m running out of creative ways to say let’s dive in

let us take the plunge

okay!!!!!!!!!! so you’ve been an editor/writer for the school paper for pretty much all of your high school career

you’re not super well known though because you don’t try to take any credit for anything and always sign your pieces like “- the daily newspaper team” or smth 

anywhom you’ve always loved writing about the stuff around you or making up little short stories

one of your hobbies is just going people watching and trying to write down a brief description of people you see and what you think they’re on the way to do

you’ve befriended the baristas at your favorite spot, lucas and mark, and they always beg to read them but you never let them because mark is too nice to tell you it’s shit and lucas is too dumb to at least say it nicely

you’ve got at least 6 notebooks FULL of these little stories but you’ve never really ? showed anyone because wow showing others your work is Scary

criticism ???/$&/&:&:&:

it’s midway through the first semester of the school year and you’ve been super busy since it’s football season and you gotta write about all the games

and you haven’t had much time to write your cute little stories for yourself and you miss it a lot :/

this weekend though the chance of rain is SUPER high so the football game is cancelled and you have plenty of time to yourself !! :D

there is, a setback tho

THUNDER!!!!! IS SO SCARY !!!!!!

u fckin softie

you decide to tough it out though and get suited up in some polka dot rain boots and a rain jacket and set off to find somewhere to chill

as you’re walking to the nearest lil greenhouse/cafe thing it starts raining ,, ,,, hARDER

when you started it wasn’t rlly raining it was just like that weird tension in the air right before the air pressure drops and it starts to rain and you were already on edge OOF

but then it’s raining so you clutch your notebook to your chest and dash

usain bolt had nothing on you girly you were ZOOM ZOOM

broom broom- doyoung

unfortunately you don’t make it though because with you head down to keep the rain out of your eyes you run RIGHT into someone’s CHEST !!!!!!

hehe u know i’m a sucker for these god damn TROPES

your notebook goes flying and and the arms attached to the Chest That Caused Your Grief come up to catch you by the arms

“oh gOD sorry are you okay ??? i wasn’t looking and i was trying to keep my journal dr- MY JOURNALSDJDDD”

you fling yourself out of this boys arms and pick up your soaking wet journal sadly

:((((((( you had so many stories in there wtf

“oh shit i’m sorry do you uh want me to buy you another one ???”

“no that’s okay it wasn’t your fault :( and it’s just a journal i’m only sad because all my stories are gone :(((((“

you finally look up from your Ruined journal to see , the prettiest boy

you can’t tell for sure cause his hair is soaking wet but it’s a bright red that looks a bit faded and his skin is tanned and golden like HONEY OOF

he meets your eyes and awkwardly smiles and he looks so GUILTY AW

“no really it’s fine don’t feel bad!!”

“okay but i feel bad what can i do to make it up to you?”

“hMMM you could come help me think of wacky stories about people who walk past”

“well if you INSIST m’lady”

“aw, never mind”

“IM JUST KIDDING SJDJJD”

so in the pouring rain you both walk to cafe and find a little corner to people-watch in

on the way there he tells you his name is donghyuck but his friends call him hyuck

“dude that’s the sound goofy makes when he laughs your friends are terrible”

“oh my god i don’t even think they know what they’re saying HsjdjHEHHS”

after a couple minutes of bad goofy impressions you decide to call him duckie instead because ,,,, GARSH MICKEY 🤠🤠🤠

also because it’s cute

you didn’t hear this from me but he uwued so hard rip his street cred with the Boys

anyways right before you settle in you’re like hey uh did you have somewhere to be like weren’t you heading places

and he was like nah i like the rain it’s nice to just walk around feels GOOD

your eyes widen so big and he snorts because what’s so ridiculous about that

and you’re like uh UH NO NOPE NO SIR I DONT FUCK WITH DEMONS

your dramatic ass tries to get up and LEAVE but he grabs your wrist and is like noooo we haven’t even written any stories yet why do you hate rain so much ??

you explain how thunder is the work of the devil and that lightning could strike you down where you stand at any moment and storms are EVIL

he chuckles and side eyes you

“aW you big wimp you’re afraid of thunderstorms aren’t you”

“yES. like any sane person would be”

“you know a lot of people actually like storms”

“like i said, SANE people do not”

and then you change the subject right quick because your face is getting RED with embarrassment

you n donghyuck spend like 2 hours just sitting in the corner and writing little scenarios on napkins

“oh shit that girl over there with the french braids is TOTALLY gonna marry hipster beanie guy in two years. mark my words”

“idk y/n she lowkey has the hots for the barista”

“ ew you mean mark??”

“yeah. now THAT man is a work of art”

MARKHYUCK RISE

“god what is wrong with you maybe you should buy me another book”

“too late now we’re FRIENDS and i don’t owe you ANYTHING”

“being friends doesn’t work like that at all but, okay”

at the end of the day you’ve got a stack of napkins with scribbled notes on them

(one of them has donghyuck’s number on it skdkkfjd)

he leaves you with a bright smile and you’re in awe this boy is so golden and lovely

oof and when you were still in the cafe his hair had dried to the unnatural red color that he ? somehow made look good ugh not fAIR

and it was a lil curly and fluffy and looked very soft :(((((

as you walk home you drift along the sidewalk with a stupid smile on your face wow please get a little less obvious hunty

when you get home the sun is setting and the rain has cleared and you are so Happy that was the best day !!!

you weren’t even scared of the thunder because whenever the sky would fckin CRACK OPEN hyuck would subtly try to keep your attention and distract you with questions

the sky: AAAAAAAAAAA

duckie: oH Hey uhhh so hOW do you even come up these stories ?):$:$ theyre so good

such a sweet boy uwu

when you get home your mom eyes you suspiciously as you drift down the hall towards your room but doesn’t comment

she didn’t need to though because you immediately return and tell her everything !!!

she encourages you to befriend him at school and see where it goes from there ;))) or just TEXT HIM

so you do

both of those things !!!

you: hey!! it’s y/n btw

duckie: hey! u make it home alive without the sky cracking open and killing u

you: stOP MAKING FUN OF ME

you send him memes and he sends , even better ones back this boy is Husband Material

the next couple weeks you realize that hyuck is actually in like a lot of your classes

and he’s like yeah i don’t blame you for not noticing since your nose is always in one of those Damn Journals

can’t believe u smh

anywhom

you start actually interacting with people in class

and by people i mean donghyuck and any of his friends who happen to be there

you literally get thrown into their friendgroup like one day you know donghyuck and have vaguely heard of jeno since he’s on the soccer team

and then the next you’re a part of the group message and jaemin begs for your math homework during lunch ????

“jaemin just dO YOUR OWN HOMEWORK FOR ONCE ???”

“ugh but i don’t know how”

“hey you know what maybe if you didn’t sleep in class you WOULD”

“IM TIRED GOD DAMN IT”

this is usually when duckie interjects with

“hey now girls, you’re both smart <3”

“i know im smart but , jaemin , i don’t know about him 😔😔”

poor jaemin leave him alone :(

jisung is , extREMELY awkward around you because he’s a Baby Freshman and you’re a Female Senior hsjdjf it’s so cute

and chenle is the complete opposite he IMMEDIATELY latches onto you and is always like

“y/n !!!! wanna watch this video of me singing and playing the piano when i was thirteen on live national television !!!!”

“y/N !!!!!!! can you drive me n jisung to get ice cream plEASE !!! we won’t even play PSY this time”

“okay,,,,, pinky promise?”

his pinky hooks around yours at an incredible speed as he jumps up and down with excitement

“pinky promise !!!!!!!!!!”

hyuck overhears and insists upon coming with for , unknown reasons

renjun and jeno keep snickering to each other across the lunch table too uGH

sneaky bastards !

after school you wait in the parking lot for the Babies with hyuck who looks rather flushed considering his skin is pretty tan and it takes a lot for him to visibly blush ??

“hey duckie boy you good?”

“haha yEAH uh just wondering where the boys are hhhh”

“oh yeah ! they should’ve been here like 10 mins ago”

your phone buzzes in your pocket and you go to check it to see a text in the group message

lele: hey y/n~ me n jisung can’t come we totally forgot we joined a frisbee team and there’s practice today !!!

blueberry: yeah ! have fun w/ hyuckie tho

moominluvr96: sjdjd i’m so proud of them

jenomunomunomu: absolute legends have fun at ur frisbee practice my sons

you: 🅱️ro i wanted to go home and SLEEP

blueberry: sorry ! xoxo :*

duckie: chenle my son ? how could you 🅱️etray me this way???

you: ur dead to me

you: literally what’s a chenle ?? sounds like a poisonous fruit

lele: NO IM SORRY

but tbh you’re just being Silly you don’t mind just going with Sunshine Boy

hyuck has only gotten redder as the texting went on though what’s his deal 0.0

you agree to take his car !

actually you insist because you don’t wanna drive but, let’s say you agreed

you find out that hyuck exclusively listens to hipster bands and the occasional troye sivan song because we love a gay legend

actually his music taste is ALL OVER THE PLACE but we r still boppin ladies

you roll the windows down even tho it’s Chilly and let your hand float in the breeze until your fingers start getting numb and you pull your hand back in and roll up the window

okay maybe that was a Bad Idea your fingers almost hurt they’re so cold and you’re rubbing the feeling back into them when hyuck clears his throat

you look up at him and he tilts his chin toward the hand he stretched toward you

you’re confused bc like ? i don’t have anything to give u duckie

he sighs anxiously

“just. give me your hand. mine are warm because i didn’t try to be cool and stick my hand out the window like this is a teen coming of age movie”

“have you ever just been nice and not followed it up with a weirdly specific insult”

“nope. now gimme”

you cautiously placed your hand in his and felt heat bloom all over your cheeks and trail up to your ears and down your neck

he gulps and interlocks your fingers and tucks them in the pocket of his hoodie

you have to lean against the console in between you a little so that your arm isn’t strained but it’s,,,,, Warm and Nice

you’re quick to continue the conversation like normal but your voice sometimes goes in and out since he is subconsciously rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand or tapping his fingers against yours

when you arrive you awkwardly pull your hand from his grip to get out of the car and he cringes a lil :(

you decide to be bold for once in your life and run around the car to catch up with him and shove your other hand into his

“this one’s cold too”

he ducks his head and smiles but gives your hand a lil squeeze :3 uwu

eventually though you do have to let go and enjoy your ice cream

you just make small talk with him about the newspaper and whatever homework is due the next day when a man walks in wearing BRIGHT RED CLOWN SHOES

the weirdest part though is the fact that other than the clown shoes the man is dressed like a body builder and has the hulking mass of one

and also there is a PARROT ON HIS SHOULDER ???

you and hyuck whip to face each other and then look back at the man

without looking away you slide your notebook to the middle of the table and flip open to where you’ve bookmarked the next available page

needless to say you both have a field day making up storylines for this man

“hey hyuckie i missed this it’s been forever since it’s been just the two of us and my journal”

“me too, sunshine”

“heY now you’re the sunshine in this relationship”

both of you choke at your use of the term “relationship” but continue with the conversation JSKSK

“alright but then you have to be the rain”

“aw you know i don’t like the rain”

“yes i know that’s why YOU are sunshine”

“kay but you are so much more like sunshine than i, an Emo”

“how bout i be sunshine since you like sunshine and me, and you be rain since i like rain and you”

OOF ????????

you blush for the Millionth Time and nod shyly and duckie is about to turn purple YIKES

you leave the ice cream shop and climb back in the car and the whole atmosphere is very Tense

you sigh because you miss holding his hand and then turn up the song on the radio which just happens to be, Walkin On Sunshine

THE !!! IRONY !!!

you giggle into your hand and he snorts and you both break into laughter

you plug your phone into the aux

“alright time for some Real Tunes”

“i swear to GOD if you play Bad Boy one more time i’m gonna LOSE IT”

“fuck you red velvet are LEGENDS”

“the only reason you know who they are is because mark tells everyone with a pulse that one of them is from canada just like him”

“okay and ??? i can still appreciate that they produce iconic songs only”

“LISTEN I LOVE RED VELVET TOO BUT ENOUGH IS ENOUGH”

you playfully bicker the whole way back and when you get back to the school to pick up your car you realize you never even got to play your song

“for your information, i was in fact NOT going to play bad boy i was going to play the bop of the century, what is love by twice”

and then, with heavy sarcasm

“well gee why didn’t you just sAY SO”

“IM SICK OF YOUR GIRL GROUP SLANDER LEE DONGHYUCK”

then he giggles and grabs your hand to keep you from getting more than halfway out of the car

“okay okay you know i’m just messing with you”

“yes but leave my gorls out of it”

he releases your hand with fake disgust and wipes it on the passenger seat headrest

“ugh go home, gru”

“it’s a good meme and you can’t even deny it duckie boy”

you blow him a half serious half playful kiss as you bounce over to your car and climb in

you play bad boy and roll the windows down as you drive by his car just to spite him and he laughs good naturedly

it’s only when you get home that you’re like heyyyy nOW

WAS THAT A DATE ??????

you tell your mom about it and she’s like uHHH sounds like a DATE to me ???

but you’re Unsure so you don’t say anything to the others or hyuck just the usual goodnight texts and whatnot

although it could be argued ,, that goodnight texts are a little, relationship-y

it could also be argued , that you do have his contact name as , duckie☼♥

but those can be discussed another time

you continue to hang out with the boys although you refuse to allow them to sit with you at football games because they’re so DISTRACTING

jeno and jisung just fckin yell the whole time while you try to jot notes down to turn it into a story later for the paper

but you can’t concentrate or even figure out wtf is goin on because they’re scREAMING and jumping and messing you uP !

so you sent them elsewhere although,,, hyuck stayed with you

he always does “just in case you get cold or smth”

ur not fooling anyone hyuckie baby

and would you look at that time has FLOWN and it’s time for homecoming !!!!

you plan on going in a big group with hyuck and all The Boys and jaemin has even scored a date !!!

it was highkey through trickery but that’s okay

chenle and jisung are gonna wear matching shirts because they’re headass like that

you’ve already bought a dress and you haven’t ….. shown hyuckie……. just in case……… he asks you

since he…… hasn’t …… YET

renjun keeps assuring you that you don’t need to find a date and that everything is covered but ???? inch resting how duckie has done nOT ONE THING

alright the day of the dance you wake up feeling a little off but go through your normal saturday routine of eating a waffle and absentmindedly watching old gossip girl reruns

but later in the day you feel SHITTY

you’re flushed and your head hurts and it takes so much EFFORT just to get up and get a glass of water

you , comrade, are sick :-(

you text in the gm to let your boys know you can’t come

chenle thinks you’re faking until he calls and hears you sniffling and how rough your voice sounds

“hEY THOT I KNOW UR FAKING BC U DONT HAVE A DATE”

“chenle if it didn’t hurt to speak i would yell at u but my eyes are watering please just text me”

“oh,,,,sorry love u”

and then he hangs up real fast lmao

so you decide to just wallow in despair in your bed and rent overpriced movies on demand

there’s a half drank mug of tea that has long gone cold that contains the medicine you’re supposed to be taking but,, you can’t be bothered tbh lifting your hand is so hard

after a few movies and the sun setting there’s knock at the door ???

you barely hear it since you’re in your room with the door closed but /sigh/ you gotta go answer

you drag yourself out of bed and stumble to the front door and open it, immediately slumping against the frame

this whole time you have still not opened your eyes because light hurts a lil and you know your house well enough

in hindsight that was probably dumb considering you don’t know who’s at the door

you try to open your eyes but they only turn half lidded and droopy so you can just barely make out donghyuck looking Concerned on your front porch

“duckie? what are u doing here?”

“uhhh i uh came to take you to homecoming ??”

he then holds up some flowers and smiles awkwardly

“duckie. baby. sunshine. did u not read the texts i sent ? also it is VERY late to be asking me to homecoming. also, i am a little high on cold medication”

“srry princess, can i come in? you look like you need company and soup and possibly some Sarcastic Banter”

“sounds good duck”

“okay duckie was already incorrect please don’t shorten it to duck”

“you know i didn’t have to let you in”

“so what kind of soup do you want? :-)”

he busies himself attempting to make soup while you have melted into a chair at the dining table with one eye cracked open to watch him

he is very obviously Struggling so you wobble to your feet to stand behind him at the stove and maybe lean a little too much into his back to prop your chin up on his shoulder and reach a hand around him to turn the heat down on the stove

you’ve reached the point of I Don’t Give A Shit and have given up on trying not to be affectionate with him you’re too tired and sickly to restrain yourself and his heart is just steadily beating faster and faster

after your soup you drag him into your bedroom to force him to provide you warmth while watching another movie

but he digs his heels into the floor and tugs on your hand to turn you around

“since you’re missing homecoming….. wanna dance?”

“in my bedroom. while i’m dying. with no music.”

“i’ll take care of the music. cmon don’t be difficult”

“i’m not being difficult i’m just-

you’re cut off by him pressing a finger to your lips and going shhhhhh

you open your mouth to curse him out bc hOW DARE HE

but then he gently pulls you by the waist into his chest and does his best to tuck you under his chin

you’re too comfortable like this so you don’t bother admonishing him for earlier and just settle into his embrace

you loop your arms around his neck as he starts to sway you back and forth

after a couple seconds he starts humming, quietly at first and then louder

and then he starts singing and it’s so sO SWEET AND SOFT

you can feel each breath he takes under your hands and the vibrating of his vocal chords against your forehead and you just close your eyes and press closer to him

you’ve literally never been this content in your whole life binch

he is so warm and ever so often smooths a hand up and down your spine whenever you shiver a little or shift in his arms

when the song finishes you keep swaying with him a little while longer

you’re leaning against him so hard that like the majority of your weight is on him yikes

“babe are you asleep”

“mm”

“no?”

“mmm”

“pretty close though?”

“hm”

“alright”

he chuckles and presses a barely there kiss to the top of your head and sort of waddles the two of you over to the bed

you don’t even have to ask him to climb in with you that was The Plan, Stan

(that’s a saying and also i’m calling u a stan wow queen of puns)

as soon as he settles in you tuck yourself under his arm and throw an arm over him to play with the fingers of his other hand

you’ve got the breakfast club on and it’s Real Nap Hours

hyuck’s arm falls asleep pretty soon tho so instead you switch to laying on your sides facing each other with your face pressed into his neck and your arms draped over each other

right before you fade into unconciousness, he tilts his chin down and nudges his nose against yours to get your attention

your eyes flutter open and you look up at him while he smiles gently down at your sleepy expression aWE ???

“hey wanna be my date when you’re not on your death bed?”

“god, what a romantic. is that a shakespeare quote?”

“shut up and say yes”

“alright fine”

“with more enthusiasm!”

“YES!! GOD DAMN IT”

he shakes his head but then leans down to press a lingering kiss against your cheek before tucking you back against him and evening out his breathing

you fall asleep and dream of boys with beautiful voices who love to dance in the rain

a couple hours later you wake up to a forehead smooch and your Boy whispering bye angel

you sit up and whine and he’s like bby i have to go it’s like midnight n my momma wants me home :(((

you pout and he giggles and taps your lips with his index finger

“go back to sleep and i’ll text you something nice to wake up to yeah?”

you nod and grab his hand to kiss it before flopping back down and passing The Fuck Out

the next morning you wake up still feeling a bit shitty but smiling anyways bc you’ve scored the cutest boy in the universe uwu

he even kept his promise and left you a cute message to wake up to ;((((

duckie☼♥: good morning bbg i hope ur feeling better today and that the sun shines all day for u !!!

you: JEKDKDJ DUCKIE IM STILL SICK BUT TAKE ME ON A DATE RN

you: 💗💗💗💕💌💞💞💗😤💖🤧😔💗😔🤧😔🌺💐🌺🌺🌸💐😔💛😔💛💐🤧💐💐💖💖

duckie☼♥: noooo ur gross

you: you ruined it :(((

duckie☼♥: i mean noooo u gotta get better

you: okay :)))

you finally get over your cold like 4 days later and insist you’re fine to be Taken Out And Treated Like A Princess

he tells you to dress warm except gloves bc he wants to hold youR HAND CAN YOU BELIEVE

you’re weirdly not nervous ? like you thought you would be but you’re just excited and very happy !!!! uwu

he picks you up about an hour after school and reveals that he’s gonna take you to all the cafes in town to people watch and write stories which is !!! your favorite activity !!!!!!

“is it lame??? oh god you think it’s lame i’m so sORRY”

“nO!!! no i love it you did good”

“are you sure?”

“yes duckie”

“okay good i mean i knew you’d like it”

“but you just-“

“hm?”

“,,,,, nevermind”

you both hike around town until it gets late and you’re tired and you end up on a bench in the local park with his head in your lap and your fingers in his hair

you lightly scratch his scalp and hum and he practically PURRS like a cat

(furry ????? it’s more likely than you think)

his eyes are closed and you trace your fingers over his features lightly until it tickles and he scrunches up his nose aw bABY !!!!!

then, without opening his eyes

“so when are you gonna man up and kiss me?”

“first of all, i will never man up i prefer being female thanks. sECOND WHY DO I GOTTA DO IT”

“i asked you on the date !!! you gotta do something!!!”

“i held your hand first!!”

“after i literally offered my hand to you”

“uGH fine come here”

“no i’m not gonna ‘come here’ you literally just made a disgusted noise at the thought of kissing me”

“it wasn’t at the thought of kissing you it was just at you”

“this isn’t helping at all”

you roll your eyes playfully and then yank him up by the collar of his shirt to press your forehead against his

“does this help?”

aND THEN YOU LAY ONE ON HIM ??????:$&:&;&;

QUEEN OF CONFIDENCE

he sighs against your lips and sits up a little more so he can reach you better, smoothing a hand up to cup the side of your jaw and neck

you pull away and his eyes are still closed

“hmmm,,, yeah”

you scoff and drop him back to half laying on your lap

“you’re such a dork”

“yeah but i’m your dork now so it’s embarrassing for both of us”

“aw i wouldn’t have it any other way <333”

“is it just me or was that sarcasm”

“just you <3333”

renjun, who has been rOOTING FOR YOU GUYS THIS ENTIRE TIME

screams when you call him that night lol

literally SCREECHES

chenle happens to be with him and screeches eVEN LOUDER

basically the whole group screams simultaneously they’ve been shipping it since day one

hyuck is a bit prideful so when you guys are out in public he’s not super affectionate but ,, when you’re not out

he’s wrapped around you like a koala and will never let go

you have to go pee? hold it

you’re dehydrated and dying? you can live off of his Love

your favorite activity to do together is BAKING because it never goes well no matter how hard you try

and although it usually ends in DISASTER it’s also a good time and afterwards duckie lets you curl up between his legs on the couch and nap uwu !

dating really didn’t change the dynamic between you two other than affection you still read each other to DUST on the regular  lmao

no one gets too harsh tho bc you love each other and whatnot

ugh love ruins all the FUN doesnt it :/

donghyuck makes it his business to know exactly when it will rain and makes sure to be with you when it does

at the first sight of clouds he is in your house with board games and movies and snuggles to distract you !!! what a sweetheart

on days when it’s really bad you just climb into bed and bury your face in his chest while he talks about whatever comes to mind and distracts you

he also takes to slumping down and falling asleep on your shoulder whenever you have movie nights together and it’s so CUTE

his little heart shaped lips and his cheeks always end up smushed and he just looks adorable wow rip you

he’s obsessed with your cheeks he loves to cup your face while he talks to you and press gentle kisses to them during Sleepy Time or when you part ways in the school hallways

if he’s excited he’ll bound up behind you and wrap his arms around you and kiss your cheek real hard and then start babbling about whatever’s got him so worked up

basically, hyuckie is a boy full of sunshine and passion and sarcasm and he’s the best boyfriend you could ever ask for :’-)

#I LIVE !!!! for high school aus #this is my lifeblood ladies r FEASTING on soft!hyuck tonight #nct #nct scenarios #nct scenario #nct dream #nct dream scenarios #nct 127 #nct 127 scenarios #nct fluff #nct 2018 #nct 2018 scenarios #nct dream fluff #haechan #lee donghyuck #hyuckie #hyuck #duckie!!! #donghyuck #lee donghyuck scenarios #haechan scenarios #donghyuck scenarios #donghyuck fluff #haechan fluff #sunshine boy

[limitededitionsanderssidesblog]

Speech Impediment - Chapter 6

Ships: Logicality, pining prinxiety, platonic dlamp

Summary: From one birthday to another, it’s now December and Virgil’s birthday is coming up. Roman, desperate to finally win Virgil’s hand, asks Dexter to help him plan the perfect gift. On top of helping his friends, finals are coming up and Dexter is getting lost in his studies. Stress builds up, and a phone call awaits him.

AO3 - Here

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5  Chapter 7

Creative writing, English Literature, Calculus, Biology, Anatomy; finals were in three days, seventy-two hours. Five classes, five tests, two hours each, ten total hours of testing. He has approximately thirty hours to study given all accountable variables. 

Over the past few days Dexter had practically lived in the library. Between tutoring lessons with Logan, where he and the rest of the gang would study together, and independent study, Dexter only ever left to go to class, eat, and sleep. His bodily fluids were practically composed entirely of caffeine at this point. This was his very first final as a college freshman, he needed to prove that it wasn’t a mistake to come here.

Dexter shook his head, ridding his mind of those thoughts, and brought his attention back to the paperwork before him. He was currently working on his anatomy study guide. Looking at the time on his cellphone he saw that it was past eight, the library would be closing in half an hour.

With a heavy sigh, Dexter closed his textbook, placed his work back in his bag, and got up to leave. There were only three other students still there besides himself, all looking wiped out from their studies as well.

The sun had surrendered to the moon long ago, leaving the world around him cold and dark, snow falling sleepily down to the earth from the heavens in a chilled kiss. Yep, that was overly descriptive, he must be a writer. The breeze nipped at his heels as he walked back to his dorm. A student was here or there, but most all were gone from the campus.

A fifteen minute walk brought him back to the tall, brick building. Once inside, Dexter shook off the snow that had accumulated on him. Dexter nodded to the dorm manager as he went by, heading up the flights to his room. He planned to simply shower, snack, then go to sleep, but once he saw Roman on his doorstep he knew that wouldn’t be the case.

Hearing footsteps, Roman looked up hopefully, then stood when he saw who it was. 

“Dex! ‘Bout time you got here. What the heck were you doing making me wait so long?”

“Huh? What don’t you mean?”

“I sent you a text dude!”

“Yes you did, I-” Sure enough the text was there, or rather several texts were.

Roman: Hey Dex meet me at you’re room in an hour Roman: im here Roman: Hellooooo? Roman: dude what the duck? where you at? Roman: **fuck autocorrect

“Resent me, I didn’t have my phone on silent.” Dexter apologized, scooting to the door to unlock it. “Why did you call Patton?”

“He’s staying at Lo’s tonight.” Roman replied simply, following Dexter in and making himself at home, just as they always did. Dexter had long since given up on trying to stop the others from taking his food from the mini fridge. Still, it stung to watch Roman take his favorite lemon yogurt.

“Oh.” Dexter said quietly, trying not to think to hard about what that meant. “So what don’t you want?”

Thus a flip was switched. Roman lost his confident composure, no longer sitting tall, instead he curled in on himself and awkward ate yogurt in a lame attempt to hide his blush. If Dexter had to take an educated guess, it probably had something to do with Virgil.

“Well uh- Virgil’s birthday is uh- in a few days and I’d like to um, I’d like t-to ask him o-out. Could you help me?”

Seeing Roman stutter and blush like a high school boy was the cutest thing ever. Only seeing Virge do the same would be better, and Dexter planned for that to happen.

“Well of course not.” Dexter told him, “But why me? Wouldn’t it be better to ask someone without experience? Logan and Patton wouldn’t be better.”

“Are you kidding? Logan may have been the one to ask Patton out, but he sucks at romance, and Patton... well he isn’t exactly helpful when it comes to wooing someone. Besides, I saw how amazing you are at gift giving from the heart, and you’re the second most creative here outside Virgil and I.”

“If you mean creative by not writing gory horror and suspense then sure.” Deceit mumbled under his breath as he looked through his messy desk for a blank sheet of paper and a pencil. Finding one he began to write a list of every idea he could think of and a list of what they’d need for each one. Once complete he handed it over to Roman for him to chose what to do.

He read through it carefully, mulling over the pros and cons of each suggestion. It was a good few minutes before he looked up with his final decision.

“Number four.” He said with a grin.

Four. The scavenger hunt. Roman and Dexter would have to work together to take Virgil on a hunt, having clues leading him to the undecided final destination.

“So where aren’t you going to have him meet you?”

Roman smiled warmly, as if he was reliving the sweetest memory he ever made. Perhaps it was.

“Where we first met.”

Dexter bolted from his classes to the parking lot where he’d be meeting Roman to help him shop for materials. Careful not to slip as he went. If they were fast, he’d be able to make it in time for tutoring.

Shopping took longer than thought due to traffic caused by an accident on the road. Stupid black ice. Now they were both running late for tutoring session with Logan. When they had gotten there, Patton and Virgil were already at work, asking Logan questions for different subjects he could help with. They sat down and began to work to, saying nothing of their plans while Virgil was there.

Dexter wasn’t able to get as much done during tutoring because of their lack of time, but now he had to go help Roman with the planning and getting Logan and Patton to help them, without the emo present.

By the time he got back to the library after the planning session he had a little over and hour to study before it closes.  

When he had finally arrived at his dorm after all that it was nearing ten o’clock. Dexter had to stop at a nearby fast food place to grab an unhealthy dinner since the dorm kitchen was closed. This time Patton was there in their dorm, already preparing for bed. Exhausted, Dexter decided to skip dinner, putting his take out in the fridge and crawling into bed as well.

This went on over the next few days, back and forth between his studies, school, and assisting Roman. Now Dexter had to include helping Roman with his already overflowing workload. He was falling behind, which was cutting into his sleep schedule, which was messing with his productivity. He was happy to help Roman, but he wished he had asked him before finals week.

Even with all the stress, he had managed to make it work. He had just finished his last day of finals, and was rewarding himself with a nap. Other than his occasional spacing out, interruptive thoughts, and tired brain, Dexter thinks he did alright. Definitely didn’t fail any of them, but definitely didn’t ace them either. Ah puns, Patton’s rubbing off on him, Logan wouldn’t be pleased. 

After tomorrow he’d finally be able to relax and hibernate until the next semester.

At eleven am the next day, Logan delivered the note to send Virgil on the hunt. According to his text in the group chat, it took a while for Virgil agree to going on this hunt.

The first clue was in Patton and Dexter’s dorm, specifically the fridge he always raided for soda. A little doodle of a fridge and lemonade ginger ale led him there. Once he arrive, Patton was there to give him the next clue.

The second was at the coffee shop where Dexter first told them about his writing. Hinted at by the drawing of a coffee cup, a notebook, and a snake. When he arrived, Dexter was sitting in the booth, a cup off coffee and a note for Virgil.

The third clue was a picture of a ticket booth and a theater. With an annoyed groan, Virgil left to go after the next clue. Once he was gone Dexter left to help with the final step.

The fourth clue was a giant red, paper sign taped over the ticket booth sign on the side of the school theater. On the giant sign were the words: Go Where We First Met - R, accompanied with the drawings of a desk and a chair, and musical notes. Virgil smiled when he saw those words, because he knew that this was such a Roman kind of thing to do for his twentieth birthday.

He knew exactly where to go next from there. Heading the building right next to the theater, Virgil walked up to the floor where the drama room was. When he entered, he was slightly disappointed to find it empty. But in the center of the room was a lone laptop with a CD right next to it and a note that said “Play Me”.

Doing as the note said, he played the video and on came the song they had met to. American Idiot. As the song played on, bold letters came on the screen, detailing their story, as if he didn’t already now it.

They had met during Virgil’s audition to play in the band for the American Idiot Musical. The theater was busy that day, so auditions were held in the Drama room. 

Roman had been there to pick up the materials he had forgotten after class.

And that’s where he saw him.

Virgil hadn’t noticed him watching, too entranced in the song. But he did notice when a buffoon tripped over a chair and interrupted his audition.

Virgil chuckled when he read those words, remembering when that happened. He had sworn that he’d failed the audition because of a clumsy stranger. And a little more than pissed.

Virgil Black got the part and was sent to rehearsal four days a week. It was there that he got to know Roman Sanchez. 

What started as a silly rivalry soon turned to an awkward friendship. Which then turned to the friendship of a lifetime.

But as time went on, and the two entered into their second year of college, Roman’s feelings began to change. He wanted something more.

Virgil’s breath got caught in his throat. His heart began to beat faster. 

But Virgil seemed content with what they had and denied any attempts by Roman.

Roman could have given up and move on, but he wanted this to much to do so.

And I still do.

Will you go out with me, Virgil?

Virgil was in tears as he heard the song fade away, leaving him in silence, staring at a blank screen.

“Will you?” Roman’s voice sounded behind him.

Virgil whipped around to see Roman walking in from the teacher’s office. Having been hiding there the entire time until his cue. Virgil breathed heavily as he hastily rubbed at his eyes, trying to hide the fact that he had been crying.

“Couldn’t you have asked me like a normal person?” He bit back harshly, but Roman new he was simply embarrassed. 

“Would you have said yes?” He asked him, walking over slowly.

“Yes!” He shouted, still hiding his face in his hands, unable to stop the tears. “Princey I thought you were just kidding this entire time, I knew that you had a long history of dating guys so I thought you weren’t being serious.”

“That was back in high school.” He told him softly, kneeling down to his height, gently taking Virgil’s hands from his face. “I’ve never been more serious about anyone.” Virgil looked up at him slowly, eyes puffy and red. Roman thought it was absolutely adorable. “Virgil Black, will you go out with me?”

“Of course, stupid.” He said back, another round of tears falling, but he wasn’t the only one, as Roman began to cry as well. 

Dexter watched from the doorway, the rest in tow with him. They all silently cheered for their two friends, happy that their dumb tension was finally relieved.

“It’s about time.” Logan stated, leaning against the hallway wall, not needing to spy on them to know what happened.

“This was a really good idea, Dee.” Patton said to him gratefully, tears were also in his eyes as he watched from the doorway.

“Nope, I’m not glad they-” suddenly the buzzing of his cell in his back pocket stopped that train of thought. Good thing Dexter had made sure they put all of their phones on vibrate as to not disturb the new couple. 

Pulling out his phone he felt his hand go limp once he saw the Caller ID. The device fell from his fingers in what felt like slow motion. The sound of the crash alerted everyone around them. Pat and Lo were there first to ask him what was wrong, Roman and Virgil following a second after, their moment now forgotten.

They all asked what was the matter, concern washing over them as he didn’t say anything. However, they all went silent once they heard the fake sweet voice of his mother leaving a message on his phone.

“Hello Dexter, It’s your mother. I called to let you know that your Father, sister, and I will be visiting your campus before the start of the next to talk with all your professors. And of course to see you, haha. Please prepare for our arrival. Also, don’t trouble yourself with visiting us for Christmas, were sure you’d like to enjoy your break by yourself as you do with everything else. See you soon.”

The line went dead, the buzzing the only sound being made. The others looked to each other in confusion and concern. Dexter still said nothing. Picking up his phone he walked away, ignoring the calls directed at him from his friends.

Dexter didn’t mean to interrupt the moment or kill the mood, but he had to leave. He could allow his negativity to affect the rest of them.

His parents were always skeptical of him becoming a writer and tried to discourage him from doing so. It wasn’t because they weren’t sure he’d be successful, even they could see his talent for it, but rather because they were scared of his mind’s creation. His parents have always been frightened of the things he enjoyed, of the things he’d imagine, of him. They were worried that his writing would influence others to be like him, that they’d no longer be able to keep his existence in the dark.

But when Dexter came here, it was because he convinced them that he’d only use his skills to write non-fiction. He’d lied about it, but it was the only way to gain their support. However, if he failed a single class, or if they got a word from his professors about his writing, they’d take him out of school and he’d be forced to work in his dad’s shop.

In the back, stacking and unloading, hidden from the world so that no one could see the monster they had brought into the world.

.

.

Gosh I once again was getting emotional over my own freaking story. Love Prinxiety. 

Y’all are going to be meeting Dexter’s parents soon, to be warned, they’re cynical assholes.

Tag List:

@noneed4thistbh @romanasanders @fuckingemoace @bunny222 @sea-blue-child @astraastro @helloitstimetofight @blue-wolfbane @applecannibal @ryuity @anxiouslyfred @i-identify-as-a-mango @shadowjag @scorching-scotch @cyberpunkjinx

#sanders sides #prinxiety #princiety #logicality #platonic dlamp #deceit sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #sanders sides fic #speech impediment #thomas sanders

[lashydsdomain]

1-154. you wont

bitch

bet i will

1: Full name

lashy. das all you get

2: Age

19

3: 3 Fears

stairs, glass breaking, not being able to get ahold of someone

4: 3 things I love

my ocs uwu, my friends, my fucking tablet goddamn

5: 4 turns on

not comfy sharing on tumblr

6: 4 turns off

ill say ill come back to this one then leave this in the post

7: My best friend

rn i would say it’s probably blitztrolls

8: Sexual orientation

pan uwu

9: My best first date

ahh.... i havent had an in person first date still ;u;

10: How tall am I

5′5″

11: What do I miss

not being stressed eue;;;

12: What time were I born

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

13: Favourite color

pale blu

14: Do I have a crush

ye u//w//u

15: Favourite quote

you know these things are asked and my mind goes blank

16: Favourite place

the woods just after it’s rained

17: Favourite food

im a basic bitch and just gonna say mac n cheese

18: Do I use sarcasm

no absolutely not. nope.

19: What am I listening to right now

ambles playlist- it’s on ocean eyes by billie elish rn

20: First thing I notice in new person

prooooobably like. their face? typing style if it’s online

21: Shoe size

uhhhhhh i think like a womens 10?

22: Eye color

blue/green

23: Hair color

dark brown

24: Favourite style of clothing

loose and baggy because if i cant be comfortable what’s the point

25: Ever done a prank call?

HELL YEAH

27: Meaning behind my URL

lashyd was one of my first fantrolls and i liked the way it sounded

28: Favourite movie

mmmmm either labyrinth, princess mononoke or annihilation

29: Favourite song

no clue my friend im bad at picking

30: Favourite band

same as above sweats

31: How I feel right now

excited but tired

32: Someone I love

passivetrolls u//w//u/

33: My current relationship status

in a relationship!

34: My relationship with my parents

love my dad, kinda dislike my mom

35: Favourite holiday

christ mass

36: Tattoos and piercing i have

none, im so scared of needles ;u;

37: Tattoos and piercing i want

mmmmmaybe something stupid and simple on like my ankle?? i dunno what tho sweats

38: The reason I joined Tumblr

another fandom and i got bored with homeschooling lmao

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?

i dislike them but they have tried to contact me a few times before i blocked them

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?

not usually

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?

i dont text so ill go w discord and no i have not the last person i messaged was you shenk gdi

42: When did I last hold hands?

the 2nd ;u;

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?

7ish minutes

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?

hellllllllllll no

45: Where am I right now?

room

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?

prooooobably my bf or my dad. hate alcohol tho

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?

loud but only w speakers

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?

only da

49: Am I excited for anything?

absolutely motherfucker im making new friends left and right

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?

i got two uwu

51: How often do I wear a fake smile?

:))))))) irl most of the time tbh

52: When was the last time I hugged someone?

last night

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?

i would probably cry ugnfldkjfgslfdjg the last person i kissed was my bf wheezes

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?

i mean probably.

55: What is something I disliked about today?

ehhhh nothing bad has really happened today

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

probably my friend from serbia uwu

57: What do I think about most?

ocs probably sweats

58: What’s my strangest talent?

burping on command? i dunno

59: Do I have any strange phobias?

glass shattering ouo;;;

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

beh ind

61: What was the last lie I told?

calling myself a basic bitch lmao

62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

phone probably? video calls make me nervous

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

hell yeah to both

64: Do I believe in magic?

hell yeah i yell tossing salt on all my rocks

65: Do I believe in luck?

yeee

66: What’s the weather like right now?

uhhh clear i think

67: What was the last book I’ve read?

Shibuya Goldfish

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?

nop

69: Do I have any nicknames?

lash, lashy, gremlin and then stupid relationship nicknames gldsfgjfgs

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?

prooobably almost falling down some stairs at a con and chipping my shin and probably partly pulling my shoulder out of the socket

71: Do I spend money or save it?

i try to save but end up spending it ouo;;;;

72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge?

nearly

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me?

there are some half customized MH dolls so i guess yeah

74: Favourite animal?

cat uwu

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?

drawing ambles trollcall pick

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?

satan stan obviously

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

Here - Ancient Magus' Bride OP

78: How can you win my heart?

art of my ocs ngl

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

fuck if i knew

80: What is my favorite word?

probably fuck if you would ask my phone lmao

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr

passivetrollsblitztrollstavvys-trollsfilibusterfrogwe-are-the-legion

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

hey fuckers lets rumble

83: Do I have any relatives in jail?

not that i know of

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?

teleportation ngl

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

probably 87

86: What is my current desktop picture?

87: Had sex?

sweats how about we move on

88: Bought condoms?

ye

89: Gotten pregnant?

hell no

90: Failed a class?

i think yeah

91: Kissed a boy?

yeeeeeeee

92: Kissed a girl?

nop

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?

does it count if we were indoors

94: Had job?

not yet wheezes

95: Left the house without my wallet?

ye

96: Bullied someone on the internet?

i dont think so i mgiht have when i was younger

97: Had sex in public?

n o

98: Played on a sports team?

ye!

99: Smoked weed?

ye.

100: Did drugs?

only weedles

101: Smoked cigarettes?

nop

102: Drank alcohol?

yes and i hated it

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?

nop

104: Been overweight?

ye

105: Been underweight?

nop

106: Been to a wedding?

nop

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?

 every day p much

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

nop

109: Been outside my home country?

ye!

110: Gotten my heart broken?

;;;; yeah

111: Been to a professional sports game?

ye

112: Broken a bone?

possibly?

113: Cut myself?

if this is on accident then ya

114: Been to prom?

prom is a waste of time ngl just go to arbys

115: Been in airplane?

yeye

116: Fly by helicopter?

n o

117: What concerts have I been to?

blueman group and the 4th of july ones that play around here

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?

yeeee

119: Learned another language?

bits and pieces

120: Wore make up?

yeah

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?

nop

122: Had oral sex?

lets just skip the sex questions

123: Dyed my hair?

yeee

124: Voted in a presidential election?

ee

125: Rode in an ambulance?

nop

126: Had a surgery?

nop

127: Met someone famous?

yeye

128: Stalked someone on a social network?

god no

129: Peed outside?

this question is weird

130: Been fishing?

hell the fuck yeah

131: Helped with charity?

prrrrobaby?

132: Been rejected by a crush?

yeah ;u;

133: Broken a mirror?

i dont think so

134: What do I want for birthday?

money

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?

NO

136: Was I named after anyone?

i was named after two people uwu

137: Do I like my handwriting?

i can barely read it lmao i hate it

138: What was my favourite toy as a child?

my stuffed tigger uwu

139: Favourite Tv Show?

fuck i dunno probably cyberchase or fetch i dont watch tv anymore lmao

140: Where do I want to live when older?

somewhere quiet but convenient

141: Play any musical instrument?

flute and violin

142: One of my scars, how did I get it?

i have a scar on my knuckle from making garlic bread ;u; wasnt even good

143: Favourite pizza toping?

banana peppers

144: Am I afraid of the dark?

nah

145: Am I afraid of heights?

mmmm at times

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

yeah >w>;;;

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

all the mc fuckin time

148: What I’m really bad at

telling people when im not up for something

149: What my greatest achievments are

being alive you fuckers cant beat me i won over hundreds of other fuckers and im here

150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me

Lets Not, Kids

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery

buy so much cosplay shit and helping friends get what they need

152: What do I like about myself

im getting better uwu

153: My closest Tumblr friend

passivetrolls or blitztrolls wheezes

154: Something I fantasize about

being able to help my friends out of the places they are right now QuQ

155: Any question you’d like?

more questions for amble and my other girls!

#mun chitters #you thought i wouldnt do it did ya fucker #shenktrolls #ask

[garethito]

You know... I've been meaning to ask you about this for a while, and yesterday's tag thing that you did with those Bale gifs only like... fueled? My curiosity? Lol, if that makes sense. Could you like... relive? The Champions League final from this year for us? Like, your perspective on it? Or maybe even the actual whole day of the final? Sorry, God, I know this is weird, but I just love how you tell stories from your life! I have seen you do it with some other anons once!

First of all, THANK YOU SO MUCH for this like, you guys always send me such interesting questions and Im so??? and OMG no this is not weird stop this is such a wonderful question to ask!! And omg you liked how I told the stories to those anons that is so sweet thank you so muchhhhh ❤️❤️💝❤️💘💘💞💞💘

But also this is making me really emotional I dont think I will be able to write this without tearing up but here we go!!! I was at school today and we had a special day so we didnt make any classes, so I had time to formulate an answer to this, and to complete it at home 💞

Quick WARNING?? Yes I am perfectly aware of how crazy and overdramatic this whole story sounds, but the thing is that this is how I truly feel about this day in my life. So yeah lol. Football is basically my life!

I would like to start this by saying that the day of the 26th of May 2018 is the most important day of my entire life as a football fan. There is nothing that could even come close to this. Absolutely nothing. Never in my life have I cried like in that night. Never. Absolutely never. I have looked at my life as a person, at my hardest times, when I cried a lot, but not even that can even slightly compare to the amount of crying that I have done on that glorious day of May 7 months ago. When I say crying, though, I dont actually mean crying, no. I mean violently sobbing, screaming at the top of my lungs, shaking and feeling numb. But in the best way possible, the happiest tears that I ever shedded.

My actual perspective, like you said, though, starts from the 2nd of May, a day after our semi-final second leg against Bayern. From that day, until the 26th, my mind, my body, my soul only thought about the final. I could not even focus on the Clasico on the 6th, neither on the last La Liga match. I was so fucking nervous, words are not sufficient to describe….. At least once every 2-3 days I would go to the bathroom with severe stomach aches and sit there until I would try to calm myself down so that my grandmother wouldnt get worried. I thank God, the Universe, or whoever you think invented life for the fact that highschool had nothing special during that period, just a few tests, that I got the best grades on, because had there been something big, I would have surely failed. That was a nightmare. Just think about it. Horrible La Liga season, then those fucking shaky as fuck second leg matches against Juve AND Bayern. I was literally so pessimistic that I am scaring myself right now thinking about it. All these bad scenarios played through my head ”What if Zizou loses his job? What if this will be the start of our downfall? What if this is the last Champions League final we will play? What if, what if, what if….”. I always tried to tell my brain how stupid I was, that we are Real Madrid and that we will win, like we always do, that we are the best fucking team in the Universe and that nobody even comes close to being like us. But its like these voices in my head wouldnt stop, it was so scary.

Come 25th of May I was an actual lifeless corpse. No matter how much I tried to call my best friend, who was in Bulgaria at that time, and telling her that I cant take this anymore, and her telling me that its going to be okay like it always is, that she doesnt really know my team well but she knows we will win, no matter how much of that was happening, I couldnt fucking stop being nervous and constantly thinking about this match.

On the morning of the 26th I woke up with a severe headache at about 8:30-9 AM. The only things that I remember from that whole day are the constant empty feeling, the amount of times I listened to Hala Madrid Y Nada Mas and the amount of pictures, videos, promotional/support videos I saw and watched. I called my friend one last time and I told her that now I am optimistic, that we will win.

My whole emotional state was ruined, however, by Gareth not starting. I dont need to explain the whole February-May Gaz-Zizou situation because I think everyone knows it too well by now and what I fucking felt about it. I have never been so enraged in my entire life. After all he has done, still no place in the starting XI. Though, this is pretty much the only thing that has ever angered me about Zizou. I love that man too much, I dont think there will ever be a coach that will ever come close to him, a coach that I will ever love as much as I loved him, but this whole situation really, really angered me. As I said, not going to get into details, I think that is enough. Though, I tried to only focus on my hardly achieved positivity about the match. 

The match started and my emotional state reached its lowest point. I couldnt take it anymore, I felt impossibly sick from being so nervous, I got the most severe migraine ever, my eyes were literally about to pop out ugh again, remembering that gives me chills. Dani got injured, and I got angry again, because he didnt deserve it, the World Cup was literally about to start like God give this man a break!!!

Halftime at 0-0, my optimism grew, believe it or not. I felt like we will have more urgency in the second half and that we will win this.

The second half came, with me just desperately hoping for a goal. Because we were playing so well, we deserved a reward!! And it did come, with Benzemas goal, God I felt so relieved and happy. I have seen people saying that his goal was not good but? You literally take everything that is being offered to you in a Champions League final! He scored, he gave us a goal, we were 1-0 up, and I was literally screaming from joy, I was shaking so much and I was the proudest person alive. God, I love my team. Then, Liverpools equalizer came. I didnt think anything of it. I wouldnt get rid of my optimism. I was looking at my boys and I knew we would win.

And Oh My God, here we fucking go. 

Minute 61. Gareth comes on. I was so grateful that he at least got to play 30 minutes, I literally only wanted to see him. At that time, considering everything that was happening, I was already emotionally starting to prepare for his departure to another team. I was watching him in those moments, flashbacks through my mind of all the glorious times I got to see him, all of his goals, everything.

And then…

All of a sudden…

62:58

That moment. The moment in which my soul has definitely left my body. The most beautiful moment I have ever lived in watching football. The moment in which I was the proudest person alive. A moment I will never, ever, ever forget, for as long as I get to live. The moment I have literally seen history being made, right before my eyes. The moment in which I literally evaporated, left the Earth, idk how to explain this but I hope you understand me. My idol, that had suffered so much that season, scored a fucking bicycle kick in a FUCKING UCL FINAL. ARE YOU KIDDING ME. The happiest, most full of joy, best, most emotional moment. Ever. No exaggeration.

My perspective on this? Oh well, brace yourselves. If you think everything that I have written so far seems insane, get ready for this.

I was on my bed, watching the game, shaking. I saw the passes, beautiful passes, that ended up with Marcelo controling the ball (incredibly, as he always does, my Brazilian sunshine). I saw him swaying to the side, and then passing a high, aerial ball in the box. Gareth came up to meet it, with… a scissor kick. That he scored. I literally fucking exploded like there is no other word. I jumped off my fucking bed and I ran literally across the house and came back, making the most inhuman noises ever I swear. I came back to my bedroom and I collapsed on the floor and I literally started fucking bawling my eyes out, and even that seems like an understatement. Screaming at the top of my lungs, bawling my eyes out, literally all of it happening on the floor. My grandmother literally came in and she thought something happened to me, but then I just pointed to the screen and she understood lmao. And from that point onward I cannot say anything anymore, because I dont remember anything else but me on the floor, literally. After like 15 minutes I hardly even managed to get back on the bed, and guess what?

82:41

AGAIN. 

A

G

A

I

N

???? I dont know what to say anymore. Like he literally toyed with everyone that night, he didnt care about anything. Again, with a pass from Marcelo, he literally goes from FAR FAR FAR away and he shoots and… scores?? How much do you think my poor fragile self can handle? Like, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU SAY TO THAT?? Except for bawling your eyes out even more, if thats even possible? Its been 7 months and I still dont have words for what happened that night, like 2 goals ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? LIKE DO YOU UNDERSTAND I WAS LITERALLY DEAD LIKE ??? I LOST EVERY SINGLE BIT OF MY SANITY THAT NIGHT. 2 goals, 2 goals in 20 minutes, he was about to get a fucking hattrick. A fucking HATTRICK IN HALF AN HOUR, but Karius unfortunately stopped that shot.

The match ended and… I dont remember anything other than barely seeing the screen, I literally had a blurred vision.

We fucking won it. We DID IT. THE DECIMOTERCERA WAS OURS.

In the moment in which Sergio lifted it I… I dont have words, did I go into another Universe, did I ascend, did my soul leave my body I dont even know but what I do know is that I spent the rest of the night, up until like 6AM, crying my heart out. And this is what I mean by ”I have never cried so much in my entire life”. Like I have never spent a whole night crying.

I went to bed at like 6:30, woke up at like.. 10?? I think you can imagine how I woke up, I literally felt like I was going to die but I spent the rest of the day catching up on everything that happened the entire night.

And then, of course, the celebrations, Cibeles, Bernabeu… of course your sensitive girl bawled her eyes out again lol!

Every day ever since it happened, I have always been thinking about this day. About all of it. No point in counting how many times I rewatched the goals lol! But I think you can imagine haha 💘

So yeah, this is pretty much it DSLKFDKJFKDFJKDFK. The story about my best ever day of watching football I made it unecessarily long (Im so sorry). I think the only conclusion that I can get from this is Hala Madrid Y Gareth Y Nada Mas lol! 💘💘

#asks #Anonymous #gareth bale #real madrid

[strawberryspeachy]

Also im sick of obnoxious japanese eaters

Things ive found out are myths here

1) everyones nice.

No. Everyone smiles hard to cover up whatever assholery theyre doing - if theyre supposed to be nice to you. Public people are the same as usual... except theres alot more shoving

2) everything about school

They don’t pay for school. Its free. Just like ours. Except private school. Just like ours

They are not MORE overworked in school nor do they study more. Their rules are much loser. And just like the states, teachers have no real authority- but unlike the states - the students do not fear repercussions. They can be touched though but thats more because japanese people think its fine to touch each other a lot - ya know. Just dont hug as an adult - but all other invading of some kind of private bubble is fine

3) SLURPING No thats not just a “it shows you love the food!” Bs. Just like the states, the people you hear disgustingly slurping just eat loud and are gross... imo... people here dont seem to think its gross but far more people eat like civilized humans and dont slurp everything from solids to actual liquids.

K like every time the past two days ive had to be near people slurping their fucking food and as a person who HATES hearing people eat... its why im bitching here. LETTUCE DOES NOT NEED SLURPED

4) just anything they call “culture” they used a pretty word to cover for “thats just the dumb thing we do here” its literally like if we said aggressively speed driving and cutting people off is new yorkers culture

Japan has a lot of history and traditions. But mostly they have a lot of bs that theyre just too stubborn to acknowledge and change so they lable it culture. Any changes they make are pretty much like when my great grandmother got a cell phone.

She only turned it on to charge it and make a phone call - leave a voicemail saying that she called - and then would turn it back off. It wasnt ever even on long enough for her to need to charge it.

But in her mind no one could complain that she didnt have one. And the only emergency in her mind was her needing to call you - not vice versa. She wouldnt use it for any other purpose and generally resented its existence. She hated watching anyone else use their cell phones to check the time or take pictures or play games or have lenthy conversations.

Yea. Thats basiclly japan with everything new. They have it. But they dont use it , and its possibilities scare them so the old ppl say its not allowed to be used unless the old people need to use it

Sorry man i hate everywhere i am. My aparment is next to a bar that looks permanently closed during the day. I had no clue it was there till after i moved in and the loud karaoke blared into my window every damn night

My train line is a nightmare and if you wanna see the worst japanese people can be. Ride the train during rush hours

My post office is far away and they refuse to ring my doorbell when i have a delivery and instead just leave slip - if you dont hike over in their made up time period they throw your stuff away

No one will actually help you with serious stuff. They just smile and say sorry and run away — customer service. Yea. Not customer service. They could just as easily be a manican with a smiley face - itd serve the same purpose.

Theres too much paperwork constantly all the time about everything

Nothing is online

Another thing that prompted me for this “this is japanese chocolate”

Cool. I got that its japanese. Im in japan. Everything people point out for me “its japanese____” fucking imagine if we felt the need to point out every damn item as “american” in the states. Why? What is the meaning of this?

They gave me a table to sit at at this school. A table. That they make lunch on and put all their supplies on. A dude just kicked my chair as he came over for some shit. Why am i sitting at a table? Very very few japanese people ive worked with dont make me feel like an adopted pet dog that theyre not sure if itll bite. Dog. Not new person. They literlly have the children fetch me...

And ive grown so so very tired of being asked questions with the intention of having me overhype japan while maintaining that im so stupid that i know absolutely nothing about the country

98% of japanese people assume that you think of japan like youve never even heard of their country before arriving and that you just arrived two days ago

Also. Maybe they think their test scores and clases are so much more difficult because they cant seem to fathom that most other countries schools function the same way as theirs

Yesterday a teacher said “ah theyre so overworked. They have alot to remember” i thought she was about to tell me how many units were on their exam or something... no “english, japanese, science, math, history, pe, food class, art! Too many things. Theyre very overworked”

..... are you for real? Im pretty sure every fucking school has those subjects if you switch out japanese for the countries native language.... this is NORMAL

Im sorry. I know the reason anyone talking to me like this might not like me. Cause im not gonna go WOWWW SUGEII?!?!? So much stuff!! Poor them!

No. Yeah? Thats school...

Look im not an asshole to my kids. If they can manage to tell me any information about their life in english or simple japanese i can translate - i act surprised/ or am if their english is super good.

But adults... no man. Learn some stuff about the outside world. Youre not specifical

Also dating boys here is just like back home except they wont block you and they respond less

Instead of getting “nice” “oh” “idk” and “maybe” as there fading messages - they just leave you on read. Or give you some random information that you didnt ask about that has no relevance to the ‘convo’

Also also. “Speak slow” they dont say this in a ‘my english is not good so speak slower’ way. They say this in a ‘i felt really good about my english until you spoke at a normal pace and my classes and ass-kissing white dudes have taught me that enlgish is spoken slow and percisely so if you dont speak with a japanese accent, your fast english is wrong’

Whatever but like... could you return the favor by speaking japanese slowly. Speak it the way you want me to speak english....

Telling them to speak slow results in something like

... nihon..de〜 nan mabdnshsnabsjsnjsbshssnbsjsbsjshsh ka?

Woah ok... something in Japan... couldnt catch the rest of that

Id be more understanding of this. Its hard to speak slow. Lets both acknowledge this and not - teachers compalining to principals and boys... (1) sending me a fucking video on how to speak my own damn language properly

Also. Do you know how upsetting it is to listen to a student say something perfectly but before i get to praise them - have the japanese teacher jump in and “correct” them...... no no dude please. I know youll have a fucking meltdown if i say no your ways wrong. But now this student is so confused desperately staring at me positive theyre correct and all ive come up with to do is smiling and nodding at them while repeating the way they said hoping the japanese teacher wont notice/get offended

Also togo food... if its not american fast food... generally you cant take it to go... its sad. I have no friends. I just wanna take this home to eat in front of my tv. This isnt serious. Its just a minior inconvenience

Also joking... my japanese isnt good enough to joke. And... idk how... cant explain. The other day a student asked whats my favorite food

And another went hamburger?!? Mcdonalds!!?

I wanted to comment.. but. At least elementary students understand sarcasm. Their teachers dont. And whether the middle schoolers understand and just dont care is up in the air.

Oh! And. I was right last week when i didnt trust my teachers saying that the obvious bullying was just a misunderstanding and the obvious targets fault. Another straight up teacher said some kids have left the school because of bullying and theyre really awful when left alone in the rooms... i told him thats why we cant go unsupervised in america. Japan says the students are just perfect upstanding citizens, so much more caring and mature than other students. Nope. Middle schoolers will be middle schoolers no matter what country.

[thedankfaerie]

I don't know how to do a read more post on Tumblr mobile first of all. So sorry. Second of all I have a personal blog where I usually post shit like this but I really just need to vent and at this point, I don't care where I'm venting. Just had my ~shower cry~ and I am fresh with feelings and need to get it out so I can understand myself. Just scroll past this LOL

I feel like I'm really trying so hard at school and I'm just failing. Which sucks. Because it's my last year and I told myself this would be my best year. I'm actually really trying, I've been doing all my homework and readings. I'm not used to getting bad grades to be honest, I'm usually a straight A student but today I got a paper back and I got 64% on it even though I worked so hard on it that I was excited to get my mark back. On top of that, I failed one of my reading responses in another class because apparently I did the wrong prompt and I had no idea so wow, what a great start to my year. It's just really fucking frustrating to know I'm actually trying for a change and everything's just going to shit. Literally the only highlight of my week is my placement in my kindergarten class because my kids mean everything to me and they're the only actually good thing I have in my life. Im so honoured to be their teacher, they're my pride and joy. And when I'm not in placement it feels like everything just crumbles and I go back to being a failure. One of my kids made me a bracelet that I wear everyday (even wore it in my grad photo) and it's so important to me because it's my little reminder of my kids. But that's all it is. I can wear this bracelet all I want but I'm still getting shit grades after trying my best.

Also I just feel like all my friends secretly just hate me. And I just feel like I can't be 100% myself with them, because they get annoyed by me. It's not my fault I get too drunk or I get bored of clubbing and being out after a few hours, I can't help it, it's never been my thing. It's fun when I'm drunk but even when I'm drunk I'm "too drunk". Last time we went out I got too drunk, we got kicked out and I remember sitting in some place trying to explain to them to let me talk but they all just kept coming at me and cutting me off and telling me how stupid I'm being and how I'm coming in the way of them having a good time. One of them left me to go smoke a cigarette, one of them cut me off every time I talked and then walked away, and the other threatened to just leave me there. And yes I was drunk but in that entire experience that's the thing I remember very vividly. I'm the kind of person that replays embarrassing moments in my head 24/7 and that memory replays nonstop and reminds me how stupid they made me feel. I'm sick of feeling like I have to turn on "fun Angela" so that we can go clubbing and do all this shit I get tired of after 2 hours, or else they'll get mad and make me feel guilty. With my friends it feels like I'm always there to answer their calls if they're upset and need to rant but the minute I post in the group chat saying "lol I think I'm kinda having a breakdown can I text someone" I just get ignored. And the worst part is I can literally see who saw my post. And they did. They just chose to ignore me. And I hate that. Because if I tell them this, they'll suddenly start checking up on me but I wish I had friends that I didn't have to tell to check up on me.

Today I was thinking about my birthday weekend in November and how I really wanted to go to emo night. It's the only time I can enjoy being out the entire night cause it's music I like and the company is chill (I can't stand people at clubs). But only one of my friends would genuinely enjoy it so I started off only asking her. With my other friends I can tell it's not their thing when we go. they just stand there not knowing what to do cause they don't really listen to that music, and I didn't wanna invite them somewhere where they would feel obligated to stay just because it's my birthday. I made this decision with them in mind. I began rethinking this decision and brought it up to one of my friends and told her that I've been going back and forth with this decision for my birthday and was unsure myself if it was the right thing to do. and she goes "lol that's really rude. I'm so offended" and for a second I'm like ?????? I literally explained to you how I made this decision with you guys in mind and I'm still somehow rude? I was really embarrassed by that and for some reason I just felt like crying at that moment.

I feel like at the end of the day I actually have no friends that I can talk to about my problems. And there's nobody out there who checks up on me. I feel like I am always there for them but nobody's there for me. And I feel like I can't be 100% myself around them because they get annoyed if I wanna leave or they get annoyed when I get drunk to enjoy myself, meanwhile the only reason I'm getting drunk is to make being out feel less like a chore for me. Everything in my life right now feels like it's backfiring and everyone probably thinks I'm ok but nope haha jokes on u. I just distract myself with work to avoid crying, or I just bottle everything up until I have a mental breakdown by myself where I'm staring at my contacts trying to figure out who I can text, and realizing I have nobody, lmao.

You know Tove Lo in the Habits video? That's LEGIT ME

#I'll delete this later

[midoriyasbones]

1-155

what have i done...

1: Full name

not comfortable giving online... so you’re getting Juiliet Capulet

2: Age

16

3: 3 Fears

the dark

abandonment/being forgotten

bees

4: 3 things I love

writing

voltron

all star cheerleading

5: 4 turns on

humor

good communicator

patience

a working knowledge of psychology

6: 4 turns off

selfish/manipulative

communism

unsanitary bathrooms

the triggered meme.

7: My best friend

irl: @theoceansaresoup and @thecoastisclare

online: @momiswearimnotgalra

8: Sexual orientation

//sweats// pansexual...?

9: My best first date

i dont think i’ve ever had one really...

10: How tall am I

5 foot 5!

11: What do I miss

emotional stability.

12: What time were I born

7:30 in the morning

13: Favourite color

yellow!

14: Do I have a crush

yEs

15: Favourite quote

‘A girl is a gun’

16: Favourite place

anywhere thats not home

17: Favourite food

CHICKEN SOFT TACOS WITH CHEESE AND SOUR CREAM

18: Do I use sarcasm

too much tbh

19: What am I listening to right now

C418

20: First thing I notice in new person

intelligence

21: Shoe size

women’s 5

22: Eye color

brown

23: Hair color

brown

24: Favourite style of clothing

uh... sweatpants??

25: Ever done a prank call?

nope

27: Meaning behind my URL

i just really fuckign love tacos man

28: Favourite movie

Singing in the Rain

29: Favourite song

Smoke Filled Room - Mako

30: Favourite band

C418

31: How I feel right now

p good

32: Someone I love

@medlie

33: My current relationship status

single

34: My relationship with my parents

s t r a i n e d

35: Favourite holiday

Cheerleading Worlds Weekend

36: Tattoos and piercing i have

my ears are pierced??? does that count...

37: Tattoos and piercing i want

‘vaccinate your fucking kids’ on my forehead tbh (jk)

i actually want a little star on my wrist... for FotS... (only bes

38: The reason I joined Tumblr

dunno

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?

my last ex is @momiswearimnotgalra and no we definitely do not

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?

never.

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?

nope

42: When did I last hold hands?

8th grade i think?????

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?

mom thinks 3 hours but tbh its like 15 minutes

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?

i haven’t shaved them since june of 2016 *laughing*

45: Where am I right now?

office

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?

the coroner bc if i drank i’d DIE

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?

BOTH

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?

yes

49: Am I excited for anything?

graduating

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?

not really

51: How often do I wear a fake smile?

all the time

52: When was the last time I hugged someone?

/??????

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?

never been kissed ://

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?

myself ://

55: What is something I disliked about today?

cant name it.

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

JEREMY SHADA

57: What do I think about most?

my writing

58: What’s my strangest talent?

ive never lost a game of rummikube

59: Do I have any strange phobias?

bees.

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

both.

61: What was the last lie I told?

‘yeah im ok’

62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

both??? //sweats//

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

i dunno man

64: Do I believe in magic?

i dunno man

65: Do I believe in luck?

i dunno man

66: What's the weather like right now?

cold, but a nice night

67: What was the last book I've read?

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?

noooo

69: Do I have any nicknames?

jules, jui,

70: What was the worst injury I've ever had?

a dog once nearly scratched my eye out

71: Do I spend money or save it?

save

72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge?

no

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me?

a pink index card

74: Favourite animal?

cant choose!!

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?

writing. i shit you not.

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?

what the fuck kind of question is this

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

World Cup Shooting Stars Cheer Mix 2014-2015 :’)

78: How can you win my heart?

never leave

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

‘well that was anti-climatic’

80: What is my favorite word?

drowsy!

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr

@thebootydiaries

@elentori-art

@theoceansaresoup

@momiswearimnotgalra

@thecoastisclare

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

‘vaccinate your fucking kids’

83: Do I have any relatives in jail?

nope

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?

the power to know what to say

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

‘Are you manipulative?’

86: What is my current desktop picture?

Voltron.

87: Had sex?

too personal and too hard to define

88: Bought condoms?

nope

89: Gotten pregnant?

nope im gay

90: Failed a class?

no

91: Kissed a boy?

no

92: Kissed a girl?

no

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?

no

94: Had job?

minecraft??

95: Left the house without my wallet?

every damn day

96: Bullied someone on the internet?

 NO

97: Had sex in public?

no

98: Played on a sports team?

unfortunately

99: Smoked weed?

no

100: Did drugs?

no

101: Smoked cigarettes?

no

102: Drank alcohol?

whats an alcohol

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?

no

104: Been overweight?

no

105: Been underweight?

yes

106: Been to a wedding?

yes

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?

longer

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

no

109: Been outside my home country?

no

110: Gotten my heart broken?

yes

111: Been to a professional sports game?

yes

112: Broken a bone?

not sure

113: Cut myself?

yes

114: Been to prom?

yes

115: Been in airplane?

yes

116: Fly by helicopter?

no

117: What concerts have I been to?

INDIANA SYMPHONY LMAO

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?

yes

119: Learned another language?

yes

120: Wore make up?

yes

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?

too personal and too hard to define

122: Had oral sex?

no

123: Dyed my hair?

no

124: Voted in a presidential election?

no

125: Rode in an ambulance?

no

126: Had a surgery?

yes

127: Met someone famous?

no??

128: Stalked someone on a social network?

no

129: Peed outside?

yes

130: Been fishing?

yes

131: Helped with charity?

yes

132: Been rejected by a crush?

yes :’)

133: Broken a mirror?

no

134: What do I want for birthday?

Tarte Make Believe In Yourself Palette

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?

no idea to both

136: Was I named after anyone?

no

137: Do I like my handwriting?

ehhhhh

138: What was my favourite toy as a child?

LITTLEST PET SHOP

139: Favourite Tv Show?

Voltron

140: Where do I want to live when older?

california???? maybe... definitely nyc tho

141: Play any musical instrument?

3, clarinet, piano, and trumpet

142: One of my scars, how did I get it?

slipped and fell and slammed my shin into a picnic table

143: Favourite pizza topping?

nothing.

144: Am I afraid of the dark?

yes

145: Am I afraid of heights?

no

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

yes

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

yes

148: What I'm really bad at

judging emotions

149: What my greatest achievements are

getting fan art made of my fan fics

150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me

‘You use your intelligence to put others down’ or something along those lines. i know im smart, but i dont use it to make others feel stupid. i do however correct people when they’re wrong. im sorry if you cant bother to look things up after you see them once (1 time) on tumblr like okay.

151: What I'd do if I won in a lottery

cry then buy my school a fine arts center

152: What do I like about myself

good writer!

153: My closest Tumblr friend

@cherishtheadolesence

154: Something I fantasize about

acceptance

155: Any question you'd like?

what’s my iq? 156 last i checked

[kimchichigay]

first love with jaemin

dO YOU HEAR ME SCREAMING BEING NA JAEMIN’S FIRST LOVE AND HIM BEING YOURS MY HEArT alright before we start this is my first time making something like this so pls be patient with me

• ok this twerp would definitely be the kind to slyly drop a lot of subtle but not so subtle hints that he likes you before y'all started dating

• hints as in I’m talking about lOTS OF SKINSHIP AND BEING SUPER CLOSE AND INTIMATE WITH ONE ANOTHER BUT IM NOT TALKING ABOUT THAT KIND OF INTIMACY dONT GET YOUR PANTIES IN A TWIST YA NASTY

• like for example he’ll tuck your hair to the back of your ears like its nothing and then flashing you his million dollar smile

• or him telling you some cringey pick up line that is worth punching his beautiful face for poor chenle nearly threw up his lunch when he overheard you both

• BUT WHEN HE FINALLY THINKS ITS ABOUT TIME TO CONFESS HIS FEELINGS PROPERLY HE’LL BE THE CLUMSIEST LIL SHIT EVER

• HE BE TRIPPING OVER HIS OWN FEET AS HE MAKES HIS WAY TO YOU OR EVEN FALLING FACE FLAT oN FHE GROUND POOR BABY

• HE STILL TRIES TO BE COOL THO

• donghyuck, jeno and chenle makes sure to film everything down and probably make a meme out of his mishaps

• mark and renjun are probably just there for emotional support

• he’ll probably begin by wiping his sweaty (ew) palms on his trousers and nervously clearing his throat cORNY I KNOW

• you will most probably be like ??!??? at first but then you realise what was going on the second you saw the trash can moved behind jaemin. you knew this was bound to happen so you secretly kept it inside of you knowing too damn well jaemin will appreciate it if you pretend not to know anything for his sake

• this hopeless romantic smh

• “ok so y/n there’s this thing I’ve been trying to tell you all along. this may sound ridiculous but this takes so much courage from the bottom of my heart and the strength of jaehyun and yuta hyung’s fist to knock some senses into me. and if I don’t do this now johnny and ten hyung are going to call me a wimp and I have to buy them pizza later because I proved their point. I–”

• but who the hell said you were good @ keeping your mouth and excitement shut you can’t stand the tension anymore too either so lmaO

• “I like you too jaemin.”

• “pls do not interrupt me y/n”

• before he could say the three little words he’s been dying to say, he took a deep breath but stopped half way, opening his half lid eyes widely after his mind was able to process

• “wait what”

• “SHE SAID SHE LIKES YOU DUMBASS”

• “SHUT THE HELL UP DONGHYUCK”

• “can I come out now???” jisung’s head pops out of the bushes

• long story short jaemin was finally able to claim your heart that day and jisung got ant bites from hiding in the bushes for too long with the bouquet of flowers jaemin planned to give you after his confession

• the dream unit with the exception of jaemin also found their new source of entertainment from the video they got that day

• NOW DATING JAEMIN YES LETS GO ONTO THE DEETS

• NA JAEMIN IS DEFINITELY THE TYPE OF BOYFRIEND WHO WOULD SPOIL YOU WHENEVER

• he’ll get you small lil gifts of whatever reminds you of him

• that hair clip??? ITS CUTE BUY IT FOR Y/N that necklace?? A MUST BUY !! THAT LIMITED EDITION PIKACHU DOLL?? SCREW THAT VIDEO GAME WINWIN HYUNG WANTED HE CAN LIVE WITHOUT LIKE HE DID FOR THE PAST 19 YEARS

• he’d even turn up at your house at 2am with fried chicken if you text him at night saying you’re hungry GOALS YALL

• HES ALSO KIND OF LOWKEY LIKE YOUR 2ND MOM LMAO

• I call him dropping by your classroom during snack breaks/lunch breaks with food with him, knowing so damn well about your horrible habit of skipping on your meals

• he would force you to eat with him or at least take a few bites from the food he specially prepared/bought for you

• cOUGHS HE ONLY BOUGHT/PREPARED YOUR FAVOURITES COUGHS

• and didn’t he say he enjoys cooking in the dorm too?? imAGINE HIS HOME COOKED FOOD MADE WITH HIS LOVE

• I’m crying blood

• AND IF YOU REFUSE IM 999999% SURE HE’LL FEED YOU PERSONALLY

• “say ahh, y/n”

• “jaemin I said I’m not hungry”

• “stop lying through your food deprived mouth and eat!!!”

• “jAEMIN!!”

• “LISTEN IM NOT LEAVING UNTIL YOU FINISH THIS LUNCH BOX”

• JAEMIN WOULD ALSO BE KINDA PROTECTIVE BUT NOT CRAZY PROTECTIVE YKNOW

• HE’LL ALWAYS CHECK ON YOU IN BETWEEN TOILET BREAKS BY WALKING PASS YOUR CLASS AND TRYING TO CATCH A GLIMPSE OF YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW

• AND THE SMILE OH NY GSKDNDN THAT SHEEPISH SMILE HE’LL GIVE YOU WHEN YOU TELL HIM TO GO AWAY IN EMBARRASSMENT JSNNDKEBXOEKE

• but lbr it’s either that really cute BF material kind of smile he be giving you through the window or that weird derpy smile he always has when he’s being dumb

• either way you’re embarrassed by this goofball

• and to add on to your embarrassment, he knows that some of your classmates may be watching the two of you so he’d blow kisses/make kissy faces at you

• he just absolutely loves to see you blush because it’s just so cute to him and he loves cute things especially you you’re his favorite cute thing and he wants to keep you by his side forever

• FIRST KISS YES

• YOU CAN NOT FORGET ABOUT FIRST KISS

• AND yALL KISS ON YOUR FIRST DATE TOO OMG SO IMA INCORPORATE BOTH PLS BE PATIENT WITH ME YALL

• because jaemin has been receiving lessons from his hyungs on dating it isn’t surprising that he brought you to the movies on your first date not because it highly suggested by his hyungs…

• you both agreed to meet outside the movie theatre and he was there an hour early and boy was he nervous as heck

• the older members were also there for a little while to prep him up aw how supportive

• sO after giving him half an hour long of prep talk and re-styling his hair (for running through them anxiously mULTIPLE OF TIME) ITS FINALLY TIME

• YOU TURNED UP RIGHT ON TIME AND YOU SAW HIM STANDING THERE OUTSIDE DAZING OFF INTO THE DISTANT

• HE LOOKS SO GOOD JUST STANDING THERE AND YOURE LIKE ‘tF HO W IN THE WORLD DID I END UP WITH HIM BLESS’

• pls excuse me for a moment here oh my god na jaemin is seriously one of the most attractive 16 years olds I’ve ever seen f U CK CALMD DJOWN

• ok lets get back

• IT WAS THEN YOU START TO FEEL THAT WEIRD FEELING IN THE STOMACH LIKE YOURE ABOUT TO THROW UP FROM THE NERVOUSNESS AND ANXIETY BUILDING UP INSIDE YOU

• BUT YOU STILL APPROACHED HIM ANYWAYS FROM BEHIND AND WHEN YOU FINALLY REACH HIM YOU GAVE HIM A LITTLE TAP ON HIS SHOULDERS

• POOR BOY WAS SO STARTLED HE JUMPED A FEW FEET IN THE AIR jk I was just exaggerating

• bUT STILL

• AND WHEN HE TURNED AROUND HIS JAW JUST DROPS THE MOMENT HE LAID HIS EYES ON YOU MAKING YOU BLUSH AND SHIT AND YOU COULDNT LOOK AT HIM IN THE EYES GOD DAMNIT SHDBNDSKDN

• SEEING HOW SHY AND EMBARRASSED YOU ARE BY HIM AND HE JUST LOVES SEEING YOU LIKE THIS ,, YOU BET MY LAST $3 THAT HE’D TEASE THE HECK OUT OF YOU

• “aigoo, my beautiful girlfriend looks even more beautiful than usual tonight. did you dress up especially for me?”

• I want to kms

• you’d just smack his arm and walk away, trying to hide your face. “let’s go buy the tickets before the show starts, you twerp…”

• the smile on his face would just become wider and he’d catch up with you, naturally reaching out for your hand and intertwining them together

• where the fuck did that nervous dipshit go and where the fuck did he find such confidence to become such a cheesy little shit

• jaemin also bought popcorn and drinks for the both of you and being the cheesy lil shit insist y'all share the drink with two straws while giving the excuse “i wouldnt be able to finish mine if we bought two” 

 • “I can buy my share myself” 

 • “nonono it’s too late for that now the movie is about to start and the line for the snacks is now really long lets go babe you don’t wanna miss out the beginning of the movie”

 • he holds your hand and leads you both inside the theatre and to your seats • “what are we watching again” 

 • “the conjuring 2” 

 • TOTALLY NOT TEN AND JOHNNY’S SUGGESTION 

 • “hmm,, ok… wAIT WHAT” 

 • you stared at him wide eyed and jaemin suddenly looked remorseful and he regrets everything especially listening to his hyungs who probably learnt all their “techniques” and “moves” from watching too much corny chick flick and kdrama 

 • “sorry, I should’ve asked you. do you want to leave right now? I can get tickets to see another movie.” 

 • THIS BOY IS LEGIT READY TO GET UP AND GET YOU TICKETS TO WATCH ZOOTOPIA IN THE THEATRE NEXT DOOR 

 • HE WILL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU 

 • but your cheapskate ass just grabs him and pulled him back down in his seat but not letting go of his hand 

 • “its fine jaemin, ive seen the trailer and my friends say it’s pretty good. let’s enjoy this movie shall we? haha.”

• though your face say yes but heart say no, jaemin was reluctant but eventually decided to sit back down when the lights went off

• “but if the movie gets too scary and you dont feel like watching it anymore you can always tell me, ok y/n? we could have dinner early or something, i’ll bring you some place nice.”

• instead of watching in the beginning of the movie, jaemin was watching you the entire time with a stupid smile of his face despite worrying over the fact that you might be scarred for life

• eventually you caught him and you had to forcefully make him stare ahead at the big screen instead. at first he was pretending but soon enough he was immersed in it

• this dipshit istg

• when the climax of the movie came, you knew what was going to happen and you immediately grabbed jaemin’s hand while following your instincts and hid behind his shoulder

• he was caught off guard at first lmao since he was too immersed in the movie that he nearly forgot that hes on a date 

• after realising you had grabbed his hand and possibly squeeze it for as long as the climax part of the movie lasted, he blushed and tries to bite back a smile from forming on his face

• and when he turned to look at you, seeing that you’ve curled up in the seat, ears covered with your other hand and eyes squeezed shut, he was this close into melting into a puddle of goo because you looked so cute and squishy and he just wants to hold you 

• and he did 

• i am trying not to scream as i type this 

• he skillfully wrapped his arm around your shoulders and pulled you into his embrace, stroking your hair as he teases you “aigoo my big baby i told you we should’ve watched something else instead.”

• you both went on to watch the movie like that, you clinging onto him like your life depended on it and him enjoying every second of it and lowkey wishes the movie to be longer

• when the creepy music in the background began to play as the second climax arrive, you were already gripping onto jaemin’s arm. being the perfect boyfriend material he is, he covered your ears. (BASICALLY JUST LIKE THE WAY SUNGJAE DID TO JOYIN WGM WHILE THEY WERE WATCHING A MOVIE I MISS THEM SO MUCH)

• but as soon as it was over (after all that exorcism and shit and everything becomes brighter), you’ll just look up and blush in embarrassment cos jaemin was staring back at you with a smug look on his face tHIS LITTL E SHIT

• you also notice that there are red marks on his arm from where you were grabbing him so you gasped and began apologizing for nearly tearing his arm apart during the movie while gently stroking his arm while rambling on and on about how sorry you are and also complimenting how he’s practically hairless 

• apparently you were rambling on too much that he couldn’t take it??? not in a bad wAY BUT it wasn’t just your rambles that was driving him crazy 

• it was your moving lips

• yes LiPSSSS gIRL YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

• YOU GUESSED IT

• he kissed you 

• to shut you up 

• and to also finally man up and kiss you like how he should’ve 3 weeks ago when you both started dating

• mmMm gotta get me a guy like jaemin A++

• you were too stunned to kiss him back so you just stared at him wide eyed when he pulled away

• “i-what-huh-wait, jaemin-what-” you poor confused child

• “how did you know peach was my favorite flavor.” he wipes the corner of his lips as he said that with a shit eating grin, causing you to turn crimson.

• “what are you kids still doing here? the movie is over; leave.” 

• whoops 

• so basically that was how jaemin found his confidence and that was just only the beginning of this cute relationship and he just adores the heck out of you and loves you to bits you guys are practially engaged in his head and he hopes that not only you’ll be his first love you’ll also be his last iTSNT THAT THE CUTEST THING EVER

• i am crying blooODdd i hope you guys enjoyed this like how i enjoyed torturing myself ㅠㅠ

#nct dream #nct #nct scenarios #nct imagines #jaemin #na jaemin #nct 127 #nct u #taeyong #taeil #hansol #johnny #yuta #doyoung #ten #Kun #jaehyun #winwin #mark #renjun #jeno #donghyuck #haechan #chenle #jisung #nct dream scenarios #jaemin scenarios

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

The Mayor of NYC just announced about the closing of the school year and how they tried to bridge the,gap for inequality for 6 years

I'm being honest and I'm not talking shit about him or any administration

I'm talking shit about people

This happens all the time. In elementary schools I shit you Not it happened in a 5th grade class room at La Promosa when I was substituting.

Fights and arguments were more common in high schools

In the middle school in 2016 the first month of classes there was 338 fights before classes started. And teachers trying to break it up got hit.

Im not kidding you. I don't live in the ghetto. I live ina community where they pride themselves on being the best and one of the most upper in all ways of the entire state. Where the government and schools work hard for this. They have won all kinds of awards that had absolutely nothing to do with me

I don't do that kind of system. As you see i do equality for police i do earning by deserving by showing workmanship.

But i don't do favor awards because of where i live. I was against Facebook coming to Los Lunas because we don't have a good traffic system. We have extra bad rush hour traffic that can take 3 hours to go 2 miles. So i was against Facebook coming and causing more traffic through town.

But they came and that had absolutely nothing to do with me. No shame. I don't work in the government. And they're only using solar electricity. So im not gonna bitch about it. It is good for the jobs and so on.

I'm just saying i was against it.

Because the point no matter how hard we try for our community or our schools

There's people that will fight for no reason.

So Mayor Bill while you find it painful, you may be saving some people some pain. Children being bullied. Fights such as these being hidden in school bathrooms. And so much more.

Schools were initially designed to be a safe place

But they aren't any more.

So i just wanted to explain that to all of you.

Seriously the middle school in 2016 had in the 2016 to 2017 school year, 74225 fights/arguments of high intensity that caused disruption in the hearts.

My primary school before i became unable to walk was the middle school. But it was heartbreaking.

What I saw was children coming from a home environment with one teacher and a playground.

Now our elementary schools do a block to prepare them for middle school because the change is so disruptive. So starting in 4th to 6th they change classes for certain subjects. But its only about 4 teachers per grade. So and if one is sick or has a sub or something or the teachers decide they don't want to for special projects they stay in their regular class.

Every thing else they had their whole life. Music and art and PE teachers.

Then thrown into 7 different teachers. No play ground. No desks to keep their things. No lockers. Every one new including the school grounds. They have to carry all their stuff all day in book bags.

It is the most inhumane treatment in the world.

And to make matters worse it's when they go through puberty.

I went to that school over all the schools in the district because i knew they needed me. Because they broke my heart. Because they had a constant cloud of darkness over their school.

Because they were in Hell.

Things were so used to. Things we survived. That we dont have the time to take to realize how much trouble the future of our children are in.

Just the way the school system is organized. Elementary. Middle/Intermediate/Jr High. High school.

I saw memes about zombies wanted in this WWIII

Look into the eyes of a child in Jr high. You'll see the walking dead.

I'm not kidding yoh. They tore my soul apart and broke my heart.

Every day i had to go Just to be there. Just to absorb the air. To make it cleaner for another day for them.

Turn out one set of lights. Open the blinds for the sun to come in. Do what i could to allow their brains to receive oxygen

And not neon fluorescent tube light's radiation.

Let their lungs expand and breathe so they could learn.

That is just is a basic.

It didn't help long term. Just a basic band aid.

Then allow them a voice. Allow them to speak on their own.

So, my choice to pay governments to shut down schools of 5 Billion dollars NYC will get...

It is for a reason.

My choice to have children at home worldwide

Is because i saw the suicidal desire in children's eyes. Because just of the change of the ways school systems are established.

Those children need to be home to recover.

They need more help than you will ever know.

They need more hugs and love and home cooked suppers and Happy Meals than you can imagine.

I care about those kids. I care about their parents and guardians. I care if they're homeless and on their own.

I worked plenty of special ed as well as regular education. Special ed was my favorite because they tried to blow through that black cloud every day and they also did it for the people around them

While they're termed stupid and dumb because of their lack of reading or math ability, most are the strongest of all the schools to bring light into the lives of others.

I remember this girl. She looked so dead inside. She walked up to me slow and in pain. "Idk what to do today I can't concentrate. I just don't feel right"

I looked around the room..

"Do you need the nurse?"

"No"

"Well I think you're not going to be okay take your things and go sit over my John. So I don't have to keep yelling at him for talking. Tell him I said to talk to you. He's the kid in the back from here against the wall three seats or rows back however you call them"

At that time i didn't know he was in reading special ed. I had not done his class period yet.

But i felt the most positive energy coming from his area of the room and he looked like the leader of that zone. I worried it was a mistake. That he could lead her astray.

I saw the darkness deepen "i said for her to go over there" the cloud prevented their brains from hearing and processing "HEY! YOU WANNA TALK? TALK TO HER! BECAUSE I SAID OR ILL SEND YOU TO THE PRINCIPAL. OR HEY COME HERE AND ILL EXPLAIN SOMETHING TO YOU"

So he came up "what? Im trying to be good. And she told me i had to talk to her"

"Am i here every day? No I'm not. There's something wrong with her. Its probably something at home that has nothing to do with you. Or maybe her and her friends got into a fight. Whatever. But what i do know is you like being the center of attention and talking a lot. So what i need you to do is talk to her. Not solely but include her in your group. Can you look st her please? Tell me what you see."

"Like she wants to die or some one to take her out and shoot her in the street"

My tears prevented me from saying more "then i think you know how to handle her without doing that. Do you play a lot of video games?"

"I used to. But my mom and dad kept taking it away for me being bad in school. I have it now though i just haven't played in years"

"Well i tell you, John, i think you should start playing more as a reward from me for helping her. And you should tell your parents you're doing well socially. And she should change her seat"

"What do you think has happened to her? Something bad or...?"

"I think she's just alone. Maybe just this class or. What this is right after lunch? She may just being of a social anxiety for leaving her friends from the cafeteria"

His eyes light up "I've been in special ed all my life!! I know exactly what that is!! I can help!! Thank you Miss Teach!!"

I never saw that girl again. She ceased to exist. That class never existed again. It transformed completely into a smiling sunny happy class room. It didn't matter if all the lights were off.

Each and every single child in that room shone with brightness...

It wasn't over night. It took Team Work.

But they worked it. And it worked.

Im not talking shit about the teachers. The teacher gave them work i didn't need to teach. Just work they already knew how. Which gave me the opportunity to look and view the students in a way she didn't have the time or freedom of mind to. A lot of time she just gave them a "catch up day" catch up on old assignments and homework they hadn't turned in. She gave them one every 2 weeks so she didn't have to fail them. So she just added one in or switched it from the regular day. And she had extra credit worksheets for them to do when they finished.

So no matter what you do. There's always gonna be a problem.

Our problem for Quarentine is Essiential workers. They can't stay home. They can't give nor receive the special attention their family and friends deserve.

This is why worldwide people are saluting and applauding and thanking and doing charity for them.

This is why we set aside special vacations and money for them and their families.

Yes you, too, my store workers. Including Wal-Mart. I got shamed yesterday by one of my stout workers i always see in Wal-Mart that goes the extra mile. "What about us. Ain't no one said shit especially you"

He didn't say the word shit but... You know what i mean. It's what i heard.

Which is funny cause the last time i saw him he was stocking toilet paper.

So understand why shutting down the schools is so essiential. Why communities are being paid so much. No community school district is being paid less than $6 million to shut down for the school year.

I want you to understand why.

Because its out of control. Its dangerous. And it is damaging our humans and aliens. And it is damaging our future on Earth to be successful.

So you stressed out moms.. Chill the fuck out.

Please. Please for the love of God.

Assualt your child with a hug. Just grab them and say "i didn't know. I'm here for all those moments you felt alone. Just come and find me and ask to do something together"

Assault them with love.

This is World War 3 people. Get into action!!!

[hercupcakewolf-blog]

Okay, growing up I lived in these apartments with 5 other people besides me. Well growing up there was this one girl who would bully my mom all the time. She worked at these same apartments. I don't remember exactly what happened but I remember that she would open our mail and she even had her husband look in our windows at night. We got kicked out and moved out to Ponder Texas. Well I left my friends that I've known since kindergarten to a new school I absolutely hated. My first day there my teacher yelled at me for no reason. I went to that school for 4 and 5 grade. We had to move again but only a street behind the one we were leaving. Imagine being a 4 or 5 grader living with 8 other people in a 3 bedroom house. I got sick so easily, I had to share a small room with two other girls. My step dad was verbally abusive towards the kids. We went months with no electricity or water. Imagine being in the country with no air conditioning in 100 degree weather 24 hours for months. Someone eventually found out and we got kicked out. I moved in with my grandparents and my little brother. My mom, step dad, and two other siblings moved around from hotel to hotel. I was living a semi normal life while two of my siblings didn't go to school, lived in different hotels almost every week. I have ADD and ADHD, social anxiety and a bunch of other shit I don't remember. School was always hard for me, I was always behind on everything and people bullied me for it. Here are some examples of bullying I went through: 1. I dated this one guy in 7th grade for like a day and I broke up with him because it didn't feel right. Well 8th grade came around and we started to date again. Found out after awhile that he was cheating on me and broke up with me. A friend at the time talked so much shit about him and the next day I found out they were dating. When I asked her why he broke up with me she said his exact words were "I only talked to her again so she would leave me alone" (???? How does that make any sense???) 2. I was sitting outside of school one day reading a book when this kid walked over and stood next to me and dropped some paper in my hair (I didn't know at the time) and I heard one of my friends from kindergarten say something about someone putting something in someone's hair and I dismissed it thinking it was someone else. A few minutes later the same guy came over and told me there was stuff in my hair. I told him to get it off of me and he did and went back to his friends and they all laughed at me. 3. Do you even know how hard it is for you to be in 8 grade and you had to sit alone at an empty table because no one wanted you to sit with them??? 4. I legit left early on the last day of 8 grade which was also the last time I saw my best friend since kindergarten and I didn't even get to say goodbye before she moved. High school: Freshman year- I was sitting in class and these people were playing truth or dare and one of them was dared to ask me to hoco and I said no and tried so hard not to cry. (Good news about this one: it wasn't until last year when I saw the girl who had asked me to hoco. She told me how sorry she was about it and she didn't want to do it because she felt bad. ) I dated a guy for almost a month. 2 days before one month he dumped me because his friends made fun of him for dating someone like me and because video games are more important than me apparently. A guy asked me to the hoco dance and dumped me the night before the dance. And the best part of my freshman year was Dakota. I skipped one class to have an extra lunch and me and him instantly became friends. He's been there for me since freshman year. Sophomore year- Bullying got worse. Dated this guy Will, he only wanted me for sex. I got unenrolled from central and went to MAM for two months and one guy actually told me to go cut myself once. They enrolled me back at Central EXPECTING me to know everything that they learned in those two months I was gone. I had two days to study for the semester finals. My best friend from then moved when I wasn't there and I didn't get to say bye yet again. I had to take biology for a second time. I got suspended that year for something stupid. This was also the year I started to cut. I started dating Tim. Omg he made me so damn happy. We would stay up until like 3 every morning talking on the phone. Then one night he was gone and I had no one and I cut. He dumped me the day after our one month. It got worse each year. Junior year- Bullying was worse than the last year. I had made my bestest friend of all time. She was the one who made me happy. I had to take biology for a 3 year and IPC for a second year. Two fuckboys flirted with me but then only wanted me for sex. I stayed out of relationships (I think I don't remember I'm too tired) My friend got pregnant, lost the baby and then moved. I lost a lot of my friends because I told them I didn't like the fact they joked about cutting all the time and said I only do it for attention. Aidan was my biggest crush. He hated me because I'm annoying (he made sure to always tell me that) It was worse that sophomore year. Senior year- I still get bullied 24/7. I almost failed the first six weeks. I was so depressed because a guy asked me to hoco and then dumped me, happened again and then again. Then my best friend Ross told me he would be my date to hoco. Instead I went on a date with Bailey to Golden corral because my friends cancelled on dinner and went to the dance without me. Then I met you.... Im going to be completely honest on this part. I thought that you were going to be super rude and shit. I feel bad for admitting, but I didn't think you were cute (at first) and then you and Bailee split up and then you talked to me. At first I felt like you were just another fuck boy. I thought you were going to stand me up on the double date. I wish you held my hand tho tbh. I wish you went to eat with us also. You kept saying all these amazing things about me and I was so happy and I started to believe them and think they were true. Then Bailee started all the drama ig. Austin.... I was scared. I didn't want to lose you because I was finally happy for once. All of my friends noticed how happy I was. You really did say compliments I have never thought I would receive. I know you were trying. I saw it. You didn't want to rush things, you asked me. You listened to me and wanted to call me when I was sad. I didn't cry at first when you dumped me but when I found out why, I spent the whole class period crying. I felt worthless and not good enough. I actually was starting to think that you would make me happy for a long time. You helped me forget all the stuff that was going on at my house. You distracted me from any bad or negative things. Now I can't escape them. Idk what else to say besides I'm jealous that she has you. I'm sad that no one wants me. I'm sorry if I made your life stressful, I do that to everyone I meet. I will tell you if anything else comes to mind. I honestly really do miss being with you even if we were only together less than a week.