#and im ashamed u kno

[purpleyoonn]

HATER ANON— ur such a lewser like oh brother this guy stinks🥱👎🏽👎🏽👎🏽COME OUT SO I CAN BEAT UR ASS😕,,, ppl are getting too comfortable disrespecting writers who are literally giving us free excellent content that saves some ppl’s lives u could not write at all or charge us but u share ur gift with us out of kindness of ur heart💜,, that anon needs to learn some respect, u take all the time u need, u go thru sm u don’t even have to tell us about for them to basically accuse u of lying is crazy like what why would u lie about these things???,, & u owe us nothing u can update whenever u want u can stop updating tomorrow who are they to order u around….idk Wut’s up with these entitled brats😕and then to do it on anonymous u can’t even have dignity to show ur true self how cowardly of them like if ur gonna be a hater at least show ur identity and be up front with it, like honestly that could be someone who says nice things non anonymously but when they’re feeling like a hater they turn to anon like a coward and take out their hating tendencies —cuz they kno they’re wrong and deep down are ashamed and they kno they will be blocked or receive backlash…the mysteries of anonymous messaging can be so scary like there could be a whole dark side to ppl we believe are the nicest in the world…. It’s insane because if they saw u irl they would not say anything of the sort such cowards😭😰

(im usually a silent reader but I had to say something cuz that anon just irked me like omg ur so sweet why are ppl so mean and entitled, you just ignore that hag and live ur life girlie‼️‼️💜) (I’m not rlly violent I just said that more as just a saying and out of frustration😭) (also sorry this was so long and very all over the place and ranty just,, u have my and other readers’ support💜)

yeah at this point like it just irks me, ya know? I mean I’ve gotten some comments about posting more chapters and stuff but this seems like such a backhanded way to go about it. anon just wanted some attention maybe? Idk.

the lying part is what bothers me the most. Like I know I share stuff on here but nowhere near as much as other writers. Like should I stop? Should I just not post anything about me from now on? Idk it just makes me second guess what I post on here now.

I’m not gonna stop posting but damn, that’s the kind of anon ask I was up to sometimes. It’s ridiculous.

And thank you! The anon seemed to think I was an attention seeker but their message seemed to do the opposite of what they wanted. I’ve gotten so many lovely messages from you guys that I feel so loved ❤️❤️

#purpleyoonn #purpleyoonn ask

[yumenosakiacademy]

the moment in session 2 when bdubs lies 2 cleo w impulse n cleo goes "bdubs, i Kno we're divorced n ur w impulse now, but how DARE u lie 2 me? i never ONCE lied 2 u. u should b Ashamed of urself." n hes jus repeating "im sry. i would never ill never do it again" w his head down is jus tht 1 "my wife n i dont argue she tells me 2 shut the fuck up n i do" meme

#anyway. cle/dubs Real. #delete later

[thewingedwolf]

Some of these takes on the Jedi are.....hmmmm

There’s two schools of thought and they’re both extremes which is “the Jedi made some minor mistakes but are ultimately not culpable at all in the Fuckery that happened” and “Anakin never did anything wrong and the Jedi are completely at fault for what happened” and like......there is a middle ground between those two........I promise you

#the jedi failed the slaves of tatooine. they failed poor shmi skywalker and every turn. part of that is the fault of the republic but #qui gon’s nasty ‘i didnt come here to free slaves’ IS their fault. nobody could have seen palps coming and they didnt quite understand #the sort of gaslighting influence he had on anakin that resulted in a former slave essentially selling himself back into spiritual slavery #but like.....maybe..............ya kno..............RESEARCHING the army of clones engineered by not you should have been a priority #and again. if u are in the business of child care a basic prerequisite is that you learn how to care for a child regardless of any problems #that child may have. they didnt. they were arrogant and complacent and got outsmarted by sheev. thats their fault #and saying ‘these people really dropped the ball in caring for child and teenage anakin’ isnt victim blaming pls put whatever ur smoking dow #adult anakin had problems he should have done more to fix. he was angry and distrustful and should have confided in his friends and his wife #he knew that killing the tuskens was wrong enough to feel ashamed and he should have mentioned to obi wan that he lost control like that and #taken responsibility. he didnt. thats on him!! just bc you dont have the tools to deal with your emotions does not mean you can continue #reacting in ways that are harmful. its up yo you to learn those tools!! but also maybe potentially we should look at the adults who failed #to give him the proper tools regulate his emotions too!!!! #anyways i just want to follow star wars blogs that arent off their shits im not asking much

[alastors-wife]

#its like 5am and i havent slept so u kno wat that means #its time to overshare when not a singular fucking soul asked for all this #anyway #i genuinely wonder a lot if 12 year old me was the closest to my real authentic self I've ever been #i was so... idk. vibrant?? energetic?? spontaneous and impulsive but not in a bad way?? #i was loud and confident and like yea i was fucked up and dealt with anxiety and trauma and whatnot bcuz. abuse does that to u #but i was... so much more than i am now. #like i was soooo much more outgoing than i am now and. i would be still if not for the fact I've been Intensely Traumatized LOL #i didn't feel the need to be ashamed and afraid of being gentle and kind #i wasn't... quite As obsessed with not showing weakness back then #and i didn't question whether or not that intense hotheaded energetic shit was fake and im just doing it because im weak and pathetic #it's.. me?? it's always been me. but it's taking so long to fully understand that lmao #I've spent so long being physically and mentally ripped apart and taught that every aspect of myself is pathetic and weak and fake #that i don't know what the ''real'' me is anymore #i could go further into this but i don't want to and like. who cares #im just so tired and i want that fiery vibrancy back. i want to be full of life like that again. i want to be a Lot like i used to be #but in a good way??? idk i was an interesting kid for sure #I'll be damned if i ever let anyone tell me who i am ever again. never. it's over. this shit ends NOW #if you think you have the right to determine who or what i am i can absolutely fucking guarantee you you don't know shit about me #and never truly will. if u knew a damn thing about me you wouldn't feel the need to push your own perception of me on me #whether it fits or not. that shit isn't my problem

[meangirls2004]

ik i run a kpop blog but sometimes i catch myself posting too much of it and i get embarrassed this is so sad

#i wish i didnt bc its just an interest of mine u kno. n i shouldnt feel embarassed or ashamed abt being interested in smth but 😭😭😭 #im like. ok u posted abt nct too much today u need to shitpost and rb aes stuff #jdhskdkk

[pepprs]

honestly? it all comes down to love!

#this can b interpreted in both a positive and negative way simultaneously.. like im just realizing it so much. everything in my life and #everything in this world rly is all abt love. its abt me loving too much and being too ashamed 2 show it. its abt ppl wanting to feel loved #and wanting 2 feel capable of loving one another. its creating art abt love and its learning abt the mechanics n whatever of the universe 2 #give us a way 2 talk abt the inherent love in every part of it? and its not abt just like. being love but also love Being. like the ways #love exists in the world and the ppl and places u can find it in. i dont even kno wjat im saying its so much 2 think abt. anyways um. love 😔 #purrs

[pray4jensen]

just watched that interview where jensen has to guess who’s the most airbrushed on the SDCC magazine cover and apparently misha must always look perfect to jensen because i quote, “he doesn’t look airbrushed” and i’m not sure why this is hitting me so hard but i couldn’t help but notice how the interviewer’s smiling as if he just knows how interested jensen is gonna be in the answer just because maybe everybody knows how preoccupied jensen always is with misha

#boredombabbles #misha collins #jensen ackles #cockles #sdcc 2018 #im sorry #this is such a trash post #im embarrassed #and yet sometimes i think cockles can outdo all of the cockles fans themselves u kno? #anyway i just reblogged the vid if u havent seen it #im out rn and im only somewhat ashamed i used my data to watch jensen’s answer #three separate times

[oldtestleper]

it’s possible growing up in idaho messed me up a little bit, in terms of like gender and sexuality lmao. like i do very don’t wanna talk about it

#im very repressed and like. reserved. compared to all these city folk #like i always have been compared to other gays but it’s much more. mm. noticable here. in the big liberal college in the big city u kno #kaz speaks #it’s been a weird experience lmao #like no im not ashamed and im not in the closet i just dont wanna discuss it! mind ya damn business!

[ciroisoeso]

calligraphy will resume when I’m not sneezing on it constantly!

the problem with marrying an elementary school teacher is I get all his students’ colds.

see you soon nerds

#mod post #i was ashamed to be sick for the second time this month so i didnt say anything for a bit #and u kno what #f that #if youve dmed me sorry for the delay ill getcha soon #if you sent requests once im safe to ink theyll happen #if you want to do either of those things pls do #if you want to pray 4 my respiratory system i also wont say no. ow

[leorjo]

🌸

ELI i love my beby so much hes my entire heart

send me a 🌸 and I'll tell you one random thing I love

#u kno surprising i didnt do him for the first one. im ashamed #🌕 #uselesscompulsivebrainwash #answered

[asociate]

.

#are u ever ashamed of things u have said or done but proud of ur growth #bc same #definitely keeps me up at night bc like HONESTLY how did i not realize some of these things #like it's a good thing that i've overcome a lot of internalized shit and have been able to undo 2 decades of Big Yikes conditioning #and tbh im still always learning #but like that's the bare minimum lmao #for some reason im always so proud of other ppl from similar backgrounds but wont extend myself the same grace #but it feels like it's not my grace to extend u kno #so im left w nothing but negative feelings about myself pre-2018 #if u knew me before then and actually remember me could u kindly not #i wish to not be perceived

[sodasback]

Let Go - Part 3

Reposting from my deleted acct.

Warnings: physical violence

That night you got a text from JJ’s number.

JJ: Hey Y/N, it’s Pope. I stole JJ’s phone and he’s trying to kill me over it right now. 

JJ: Anyway, he hasn’t stopped talking about you. Just thought you should know.

JJ: Don’t let him hide you from us. 

JJ: Kay gotta go, can’t breathe, bye

You laughed out loud at Pope’s texts and swooned over the fact that JJ was talking about you to his friends and that the Pogues, or Pope at least, seemed like he wanted to hangout with you.Then more texts came through. 

JJ: Sry pope doesnt kno wut hes talking about. ignore him. 

JJ: i cant let ur head get any bigger knowing tht im simping for u over here. I’ll have to put u in ur place again.😉

Y/N: Is that place on my knees in front of you?

JJ: ugh stop. ur gonna make me hard and wer on the boat

Y/N: Hey you started it

JJ: Yeah well I’ll finish it too when i see u tmrw pretty girl

Y/N: You better 😈

JJ: ur killin me smalls 🍆

You went to sleep that night blissfully happy. But you woke up full of dread knowing you had to breakup with Rafe. 

You texted him telling him that you needed to see him and talk. He seemed to know something was up, but he told you to meet him at your favorite park in Figure 8. 

Before you left to meet him, you texted JJ that you were meeting Rafe. And then you shared your location with him. You had a feeling JJ would end up being close by, but you frowned when he didn’t text back and thought maybe you should call him. No, it’ll be fine. Rafe doesn’t need to know what happened. I’ll just end it and it’ll be fine.

 You pulled up to the park and saw Rafe....

You had worn a hoodie, because it was the only thing you had that would really cover all the hickeys, that you also tried, pretty unsuccessfully, to cover with make-up.

“Hey beautiful” he greeted you softly from his spot seated at a bench and kissed your cheek as you sat down next to him. You were ashamed of yourself that you still felt a warm fuzzy feeling despite the fact that Rafe didn’t you treat you right and JJ already showed you more affection in such a short time.

“Hey doll” you greeted back out of habit.

You and Rafe were both quiet for a minute, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. You and Rafe enjoyed the scenery and the nearby fountain in silence.

“It’s over huh?” He asked solemnly, still looking off in the distance at first and then to you.

“Yeah” You admitted with a sigh before continuing, “I think we’re just growing apart and maybe we’re not the best for one another.” You said slowly.

You hated yourself for saying it that way, for not calling Rafe out on everything. And you hated yourself for not being 100% truthful that you cheated. But a part of you still loved him and a bigger part of you was just trying to survive this without a screaming match or something worse.

Rafe nodded and offered a small smile.

“I’ll always love you though. You know that right?” He said, squeezing your hand gently.

You melted a little. Rafe really could be the boyfriend you needed ...sometimes.

“Me too” is all you said with a gentle smile.

Rafe sighed and stood up. He opened his arms out for a hug. You stepped in and wrapped your arms around his waist. 

That wasn’t so bad you thought as you breathed in his cologne one last time and savored being in his arms for a second.

You felt Rafe shift a little and playing with the hood of your sweatshirt.

“Why’re you wearing a hoodie?” He asked, with genuine intrigue in his voice. You felt your heart stop and you tried to stop yourself from sweating more than you already were. You swallowed hard and then cleared your throat, trying to act casual.

“Just was a little chilly earlier.” You stated simply, pulling away from Rafe. Who looked at you skeptically. 

“It’s July. It’s hot as fuck out. There’s no way you’re cold.” He said tugging at the hem of the jacket. You pushed his hands away. 

“Rafe stop. I wanna keep it on. I’m cold.” You said, trying to squirm away from him. He firmly grabbed hold of both your wrists and pulled you towards him a little, motivating you to look up at his now deeply disbelieving expression. The furrow in his brow, made you nervous and you bit the inside of your cheek. You could see the gears turning in his head as he registered your very guilty and scared demeanor you couldn’t hide.

“Why’re you wearing a jacket, Y/N?” He asked in a sternly dangerous tone that gave you goosebumps. Your breathing started getting heavy. 

“Rafe” You warned nervously. 

His jaw became clenched. And he forcefully ripped the hemline of your pullover upward and wrenched your arm out one of the sleeves. 

“Rafe! Stop!” You yelled at him as you tried to squirm away but he manhandled you and harshly tugged your hoodie the rest of the way off and threw it on the ground, leaving you in your sports bra, completely exposing the hickeys on your neck and chest. You quickly tried to cover yourself and reach down for your hoodie at the same time, but Rafe grabbed your forearms again, hard enough to leave bruises. 

Fuck. Where’s JJ when you need him?

Rafe looked you up and down before tightening his grip on your arms. “You little fucking whore.” He swore through gritted teeth. 

“Rafe you’re hurting me.” You said with a whiny tone you couldn’t hold back.

“You’re just cold, huh? I can’t believe you fucked another guy, you cheating slut!” He spat as he throttled you.

“Rafe calm down.” You said, trying not to cry. God, JJ, please come. “I’m sorry, okay?”

“You’re sorry?! You’re sorry?!” Rafe laughed darkly, before moving a hand to your throat, but not fully squeezing yet. “You cheat on me and all you can say is you’re sorry?!” 

“Rafe! Please!” You begged, tears now welling up in your eyes. 

“Who’d you let fuck you, Y/N? Hmm? Who marked you up knowing you were mine?”

“Rafe, please let go!” You cried. 

“Tell me who it was, Y/N!” He growled at you in a way that made your blood run cold and he started to squeeze your throat. You clawed at his hand and his arm as he cut off your airway. 

“Cameron!” JJ yelled as he ran over to you. Rafe was caught off guard and let go of your throat. You collapsed to the ground gasping for air. JJ immediately was at your side. 

“Y/N! Are you okay? Go to your car, now.” JJ told you. But you stayed in your position, mostly out of necessity, given the fact you couldn’t breathe. 

“You’ve gotta be kidding me” Rafe said. “You cheated on me with this fucking piece of shit pogue?!” He asked you, as JJ stood up and faced him. 

“Leave. Now.” JJ told Rafe.

Rafe snorted, “Or what?” He challenged, stepping towards JJ.

Right then, police sirens went off. All 3 of you turned to see a Kildare County Sheriff SUV and Shoupe step out.

“Is there a problem gentleman?” Shoupe asked them walking towards the 3 of you.

Rafe and JJ were glaring at each other. You took the opportunity to put your hoodie back on.

Finally, Rafe said, “No problem here officer.” As he didn’t take his eyes off JJ, daring him to rat him out.

“Looks like you’re on the wrong side of town, Mr. Maybank. Everything okay Miss Y/L/N?” Shoupe asked.

“Yeah, JJ came to take me home. Rafe was just leaving.” You said.

By now, Shoupe had taken notice of the red mark on your neck and the fact you were on the ground with a defensive JJ in between you and Rafe. It was very obvious what had been going on.

“Mr. Cameron, I think you should head on home now.” Shoupe said. And you internally rolled your eyes. Of course, Shoupe would let Rafe just leave.

Rafe just glared at JJ.

“Rafe.” Shoupe said more firmly.

“I’ll see you soon Y/N, Maybank.” He promised in a dangerous tone before turning toward his car.

JJ watched him leave with his fists clenched. Once Rafe was driving away, JJ took a deep breath and pulled you into a tight hug.

“Miss Y/L/N, do you need to see a doctor?” Shoupe asked.

“No, I’m fine.” You said from JJ’s arms.

“Alright. You 2 take care, now.” Shoupe said as both an apology and a warning getting back in his car.

Now, it was just you and JJ. He was still holding you tight. “Are you okay?” He asked softly, glancing down at you. You nodded but kept your head tight to his chest squeezing his waist and cried a little. 

You only let yourself cry for a second and then sucked it up and when you sniffled, JJ held you back a little so he could look at you. He checked your expression and waited for you to nod as he slowly and gently pulled the collar of your hoodie down a little so he could see your neck.

A pained grimace appeared on JJ’s face and anyone looking at him could have probably seen his heart break in front of them as he looked at your injury.

You might have JUST admitted feelings for each other yesterday, but you couldn’t explain it. You and JJ felt right. It was young summer love, a whirlwind romance where you both fell hard and fast. And the fact that he was partly at fault for the huge hematoma forming on your neck, the fact Rafe quite literally could have killed you made JJ feel like crumbling.

“I’m gonna kill him.” JJ said to himself more than you. “Fuck, I’m so sorry Y/N.” 

“JJ. This is not your fault. Okay? Rafe is the one who had his hand around my neck not you.” You said with your hands holding his face. 

“But I-”

“No! Stop! I’m telling you this isn’t your fault. And I’m fine. See? I’m in one piece.”

JJ almost had tears spilling out. 

“I promise.” You reassured him. He closed his eyes and nodded. 

“So you taking me out on a date or what, Maybank?” You asked, desperately just wanting to see JJ’s face free of anguish again. He smiled a little and sniffled. 

“Yeah, I’m taking you out. Give me your keys.” He said smiling.

“Uh uh” You tsked, “You think I’m gonna let you drive my Porsche? I’ve seen you take a turn in John B’s van on 2 wheels. I’m not letting you behind the wheel of my baby.” 

“Fine” JJ pouted. But then he snatched the keys from your hand and mimicked the shocked look on your face and taunted you. 

“JJ!” You shouted reaching for the keys, but he held them out of reach from you. 

“Ooh sucks to be short, huh Y/N?” He said as he stumbled to your car still holding you back from the keys. 

“JJ.” You said seriously. “Give. Me. My. Keys.” He just looked at you waiting for you to threaten something as he stood next to the driver’s door. “Give me my keys or I’m not sucking your dick for a month.” You threatened. 

“Pfft” JJ scoffed, “Like you could go a month without begging for my cock down your throat? Bet” He said, nodding his chin up at you. You contemplated it and you knew he was probably right. You furrowed your brow. 

“I swear to god, if you crash my car, I will kill you Maybank.” You said as you walked to the passenger’s. 

“Whoo!” JJ cheered before awkwardly crawling into your front seat. “Jesus, your seat’s so close to the wheel!” He complained throwing the seat back and fixing all the mirrors. 

“JJ! You are fucking up all my stuff!” You yelled at him and punched him in the arm. He ignored you and revved the engine. 

“Ooofff” JJ groaned, “this is making me so horny. Can we have sex later?” 

You glared at him. 

“You’re eating me out for at least an hour for stealing my car.” You folded your arms and looked out the front windshield. JJ leaned over and pecked your cheek. 

“My pleasure baby.” he said, throwing your car in drive and screeching the tires. 

“JJ!”

Taglist: @moniamaybank @hernameisnoell @moonrisebeach @abbyj1822 @october-cameron @railmerafe

#outer banks #obx #outer banks imagine #rafe cameron #outer banks fanfiction #jj maybank #obx fanfiction #obx imagine #jj maybank x y/n #jj imagine #jj maybank x reader

[666bone]

.

#just called my friend mid breakdown #standin in the rain chain smoking on campus is ???? #so me #u not livin until u cry in public #it not yr skoool until u cry there #its only fukin november of my first year and ive cried here at least 5 times now #wonder how many times itll be once (if) i graduate #my programs like 4 years #so #itll be a lot #just met w accessability sercives abt a docs note that i didnt kno what to do w bc my doc put all my fukin mentall illnesses on it #which i get bc that just adds to the validity of this note and why im getting such a long extenssion on all my deadlines but #its really embarassing #im so ashamed lol #fuck #yall im so miserable lol im a mess its so embarassing i hate this i hatemy stupid fucking brain i cant do anythig #i missed out on so much #im missing out on so much #im so sad im fucking hearbroken im like this #idk why ppl are like ‘o ya mentall illness is ~edgy~’ #like #yall #i hate being alive #this is my fucking life im gon be sick for the rest of my fucking life #im so fucking hopeless #its never going to get better bc i can never recover #im going to be borderline the rest of my fucking life theres no fucking cure #and ya ok i inderstand that dbt helps and it can reduce symtoms and severity but