#and if like. the mc's narrative voice blurs together with *other* mc's narrative voices

[interact-if]

Day 2 of our Asian and Pacific Islander Heritage Month Featured Author Interviews, continuing with Mouse & Ram!

Mouse and Ram, authors of Beau Ideals

Merchants stare up and out, some advertising their goods, yelling, others perched, confident that the outward quality of their wares is enough to draw customers in: rubble arranged on tables, mageware scattered in between with display lights illuminating milky crystals; the fruit of their ventures into the Expanse, the hope that it was worth their sacrifice. It all passes in a blur and I feel the press of time. One of these items will be worth the risk of stealing. It will be my last act as a free citizen before disappearing into the Southern Expanse.

A low-level criminal on the run for the crime of the century, the end of your journey approaches as you arrive in Lau Lyssa, the Kingdom’s southernmost city. Resigned to your fate of living as a fugitive in the wilds of the Southern Expanse, you know you only have so much time before word of your misdeed sweeps the land.

Read more about Beau Ideals here. Play the Demo Here. Tags: Fantasy.

[INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT UNDER THE CUT!]

Q1. Hello! Could you tell us a little bit about to yourself and your project?

Hiya, we’re Mouse and Ram!  Mouse and Ram

We’re two long-time friends who wanted to try our hand at creating something together that reflected aspects of our experiences growing up Chinese (Mouse) and Vietnamese (Ram) in the United States. As adults. High school? There’s nothing to see there.

Beau Ideals is a text-heavy, fantasy visual novel where you play as a rogue-ish MC that finds themselves caught between a rock and a hard place. and a rock

Q2. What inspired your current project?

We’re both big fans of visual novels both mainstream and indie. Combining our love of art, writing, and storytelling has been a habit of ours since we were wee-babaies. Now that we’re older, have a little more time on our hands, and have been tempered by the trials of adulthood, we wanted to see what we could do as larger babaies.

Cultural discourse has changed quite a bit as we’ve aged into our twenties, and with that change, our own understanding of our identity has also matured. It has been enlightening and painful in equal measure, and with that growth came a lot of inspiration.

Q3. Do you pull from your own identity for inspiration? How has that been reflected in your work?

Ram: Of course! The entertainments I experienced growing up in East Asia imparts stylistic preferences that evolved as I was later exposed to western media. What is presented now is a combination of what I find appealing, plus what I feel represent the narrative we want to portray.

Principles of family and community were a huge part in my upbringing. And along with Mouse’s writing, those values inform my understanding of the character dynamics and relationship with their peers and their communities. These aspects seep through to the current and the future game art.

Mouse: My experiences growing up Chinese American has affected my work in both subtle and obvious ways. While the MC’s voice is something I want the player to take some degree of ownership of, I can’t deny that some of my own beliefs, perspectives, and “general posturing” don’t also slip in.

All of the main characters face issues and circumstances that I myself, or the people around me, have experienced. A/PI have gone through a lot these past few years, and it’s my sincerest hope that the writing reflects our experiences, no matter how small.

Q4. What are you most excited about your project?

Ram: To see the plot and character arcs completed, and to have the game wholly finished :D

Mouse: To see all the pretty pictures Ram draws :D

Q5. What has your experience writing an IF and with the IF community been like?

Mouse: Compared to novels, screenplays, or even comics, the types of decisions you have to make are completely different, and you have to be extra-super mindful of how consequences play out in the story. It can be extremely difficult and it necessitates a much higher degree of planning.

Ram: In terms of art, I find creating effective yet versatile assets such as sprites challenging. A good challenge.

Together: As for the community, we’re a little shy. It’s something we know we’re lacking. We’re well aware of some of the discourse within and around the IF community as a whole, but have had some incredible individual interactions with fellow creators! In the future, we hope to be doing some ask-prompts and Q&A’s for our followers.

Q6. What changes in the IF community would you like to see?

We can’t say we’ve been around for terribly long, but since we’ve set out on this project there has been the Interactive Fictions tumblr, and the first few IF/VN-specific game-jams on itch.io. It’s been cool to see. A writing workshop on IF/VN writing would be incredible, but we still might be a little ways away from that.

There isn’t anything specific we’d like to see changed per say, but there is one thing we can say: we want to see more voices join in. Everyone deserves the chance to tell their story. It’s corny but it’s true.

Q7. What piece of advice would you give to fellow creators?

Ram: Since we tend to be hard on ourselves, I encourage those with similar habits to focus on completion over perfection. You’ll find the minor roadblocks are insignificant in the grand scheme of things. And you can always go back to edit after. Plus, have no fear to scrap anything that doesn’t contribute to your story. Shelve the idea for a more fitting opportunity.

Mouse: Take some time to flesh out your vision. Sometimes your best idea is the first one that you think of, and sometimes it’s the twentieth. And if you’re stuck, as I often am, let yourself explore ALL the possibilities, even the dumb ones. Execution matters way way more than the idea.

#if: events #Asian and Pacific Islander Heritage Month #API 2022

[mjmnorwood]

[I.D. A header image of two pencils on a yellow background, with title reading ‘Authorial Voice’. End I.D.]

Authorial voice is incredibly hard to define. It’s different to character voice and it’s different to style (both of which can change between an author’s works). I think of it is a fingerprint; the particular feel of the text that clues you in as to who the writer is. In this post I’ll give three examples of authors who I think have distinctive voices, then look at some of the elements that make up authorial voice. Fingers crossed it will be helpful for developing your own!

Example 1: Terry Pratchett

      It is said that the gods play games with the lives of men. But what games, and why, and the identities of the actual pawns, and what the game is, and what the rules are—who knows?       Best not to speculate.       Thunder rolled...       It rolled a six.

- Guards! Guards!

Pratchett is one of my favourite authors and it’s no surprise he made this list because he has an incredibly distinctive voice. No matter what book of his you pick up, you instantly know you’re reading Pratchett. His voice is gloriously witty, making use of wordplay and puns. It can also be dramatic and evocative (and these dramatic and evocative passages often lead to yet more wordplay). He always writes with an undercurrent of anger at injustices. I think Pratchett is a great author to read if you’re looking to see how an author’s voice develops. His early works like The Carpet People, even the first couple of Discworld books, have inklings of his distinctive voice, but it shines through so much more strongly in later books, as he writes with more and more confidence.

Example 2: Lois McMaster Bujold

      “Well, let me...” His hand stroked her hair gently, then desperately wrapped itself in a shimmering coil; they kissed again.       “Uh, sir?” Lieutenant Illyan, coming up the path, cleared his throat noisily. “Had you forgotten the staff conference?”       Vorkosigan put her from him with a sigh. “No, Lieutenant. I haven’t forgotten.”       “May I congratulate you, sir?” He smiled.       “No, Lieutenant.”       He unsmiled. “I—don’t understand, sir.”       “That’s quite all right, Lieutenant.”

- Shards of Honour

Some context for the exchange above: Cordelia, the MC, and Vorkosigan are in love, but after a long discussion they have decided they can’t be together due to irreconcilable differences between their home planets. Illyan mistakes their parting kiss for Cordelia accepting a marriage proposal.

Bujold is another favourite of mine, and her voice is completely different to Pratchett. Whereas Pratchett will often digress to add details or make jokes, Bujold is very to-the-point. Her writing is incredibly easy to read. It tells you exactly what you need to know and no more (if she waxes lyrical about something, you can be sure there’s a very good reason). I think the use of ‘unsmiled’ in the example above shows off her voice very well. Technically, it’s not a real word, but it perfectly conveys the abrupt change of expression that comes with Illyan’s confusion. She could have written something like ‘his smile fell away’, but it just wouldn’t pack the same punch.

Example 3: Susanna Clarke

Some years ago there was in the city of York a society of magicians. They met upon the third Wednesday of every month and read each other long, dull papers upon the history of English magic.       They were gentleman-magicians, which is to say they had never harmed any one by magic—nor ever done any one the slightest good. In fact, to own the truth, not one of these magicians had ever cast the smallest spell, nor by magic caused one leaf to tremble upon a tree, made one mote of dust to alter its course or changed a single hair upon any one’s head. But, with this one minor reservation, they enjoyed a reputation as some of the wisest and most magical gentlemen in Yorkshire.

- Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell

Every time I pick up JS&MN (or its companion short story collection, The Ladies of Grace Adieu) I know I’m in for a treat, voice-wise. The long, rambling sentences, the archaic word choice, even sometimes deliberate misspellings of words, all combine to create a very unique voice. There’s a quiet, reserved sort of wit about it, never out-and-out jokes, but small things that make you smile. Clarke’s writing is also a good example of how the line between voice and style can blur. Since she hasn’t published anything that isn’t set in the JS&MN universe, it can be hard to tell what is her voice and what are stylistic choices to capture the milieu of the setting. The stories in The Ladies of Grace Adieu show a lot of variation in style, though (for example one is written as a diary, one like a fairytale), and her voice stays consistent through all of them—the word choice, tendency to long sentences, and that quiet wit are all the same.

Some elements of authorial voice

Vocabulary and word choice. Do you favour simple or complex language?

Sentence length and structure. Do your sentences tend toward the extended, or are they more short and snappy? (Note: varying sentences is important for flow and pacing, it’s just the overall trend towards long or short that I mean here).

The balance of dialogue and description. What occurs more in your writing, beautiful word-pictures or interesting conversations?

Use of literary devices. Do metaphors, similes and the like crop up a lot in your work, or is the narrative more sparse?

Paragraph use. Long and rambly or lots of breaks?

Story focus. Character? Plot? Worldbuilding? A mixture?

+ a whole host of other factors it’s difficult to summarise neatly (tone, stylistic choices etc...)

When it comes to developing your own voice, I honestly can’t say much more than write. Write a lot. You can’t really force voice; it doesn’t have shortcuts, you just have to see where your writing takes you. My one tip is that after you’ve written a lot, look over your work with a critical eye for some of the things mentioned above, and you’ll start to spot parts of your voice. Even though my voice is still very much in development, I’ve started to spot some patterns. I tend to use more dialogue than description, and have short paragraphs. I compared some of my work to a friend’s and noticed how different they looked on the page. Mine was broken up, whereas theirs had long paragraphs of description. I also tend not to use very advanced vocab, so when I do use a fancy word, you notice. Spotting elements of voice in your writing can help you decide what you like, and what you want to put more work into developing.

One final thing: if you don’t have a very distinctive voice, don’t stress about it! It will develop over time, and anyway, there are plenty of writers out there who don’t have very unique voices, but still write amazing, successful stories.

Like this post? Follow for more writerly content! It’ll be lovely to have you along :D

#writing advice #writing tips #writing help #writeblr #voice #writing #writers #writers on tumblr #writeblr community #writblr #style #fiction analysis #original #terry pratchett #lois mcmaster bujold #susanna clarke #long post

[nazariolahela]

Best Beloved: Chapter 5

A/N: Hey y'all! This is a PM AU I’ve been working on. It’s a bit different than my previous fic series and I’m really excited to try something new. I hope y’all enjoy it. This story is told in dual first-person narrative, from Kaia (F!MC) and Damien’s POV. The first half of this story takes place during Kaia’s freshman year and Damien’s senior year of college. The second half is two years after Kaia graduates. There will be sprinklings of canon in this fic, but we’ll try to step out of the box for the most part. Thanks for reading, and please leave feedback, and/or if you would like to be tagged.

Catch up here

Series Tags: @burnsoslow @lady-calypso @irishwhiskys-blog @loveellamae��

Synopsis: What happens when you find yourself crushing on your best friend? For years, Damien and Kaia have been friends, while secretly harboring feelings for one another. Everything changes one night after a little too much alcohol and years of pent up feelings. Can they control their emotions and salvage their friendship, or will the feelings they hold for one another destroy everything they have?

All characters are the property of Pixelberry Studios. Thanks for allowing me to borrow them.

Chapter Summary: Damien and Kaia meet for a study group, but the assignment isn’t the only thing they’re struggling with.

Kaia

“You’re late,” I said, my feet propped up on the table, as Damien shuffled across the library to where I was sitting. It was our weekly study session and we were supposed to start 20 minutes ago, but I was the only one in our group who had grasped the concept of time management.

“Yeah, sorry. This internship is kicking my ass. I had to stay late because we were setting up some new security clearance protocols. Don’t tell anyone though. That information is classified,” he replied as he slid the backpack off his shoulder. He took a seat at the table and shot me a panty-dropping grin. My body instantly reacted. Bastard. How did he keep doing that?

“Yeah, well Brad and Allison aren’t here yet either, so I guess I can’t be too mad at you.”

“You couldn’t be mad at me if you wanted to. You love me.”

I paused. Did he really just say that?  He always knew how to push my buttons. Even when we were kids. It’s like he lived to get a reaction out of me. I cleared my throat awkwardly. “Anyway. We need to get the rest of this project done. It’s due on Monday. Did you finish your part?” 

“Of course I did. What do you take me for?” he grinned, pulling his laptop from his backpack. I watched him from the corner of my eye as he set it on the table and opened it up, powering up the device. “I’m emailing it to you right now so you can add it to the final document.”

I had the unfortunate task of presenting the project to the class, so everyone sent their parts to me. It was my job to outline the project, then organize each part into our PowerPoint.  

“Not gonna lie, this is not how I wanted to spend my Saturday afternoon. I have a very pissed off girlfriend right now,” he said.

I hid my smirk behind my laptop. I know, I know. It wasn’t very nice of me, but I got a little thrill hearing that Damien and Alana were having problems. It wasn’t that I wanted my friend to be miserable, but if he suddenly became single, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. I had nothing against Alana personally, but the few times we interacted, she was very cold towards me.

“Hmm...that sucks. So, I have Allison’s part. She emailed it to me last night, but I’m still waiting on Brad’s part. I put your part on slides 5 and 6 to transition from Allison’s slide, then we’ll put Brad’s part on slides 9 and 10 after my part. Then, we should be good to go.” I checked the time on my phone. Brad and Allison were over half an hour late. I sent both of them a text asking when they planned on showing up, then went back to laying out the presentation.

Damien and I worked in silence for several minutes. Occasionally, I would look up from my computer and sneak peeks of him. I couldn’t help but stare at his features. Even after all these years, my attraction for him never waned. He looked up and caught me staring; his lips turned up in a wide grin.

“Do I have something on my face?”

“Um...uh...nope. Y-you’re all good!” I replied a little too enthusiastically.

“Then why are you staring at me like that?” he smirked.

I felt my cheeks turn beet red. I quickly looked away and tried to focus on what I was working on, but I could still feel his eyes on me. My phone pinged, breaking the silence — and thank the gods — the tension. I grabbed it and saw a message from Allison. She mentioned that she wasn’t feeling well and would not be able to make our study group tonight, but that she would see us next week. There was still no word from Brad, which I was not surprised by.

I rolled my eyes and placed my phone on the table. “Well, Allison’s not coming. I don’t know about Brad, but I’m guessing if he was going to show up, he’d be here by now.”

Damien shrugged. “No biggie. That kid is a major tool anyway. Not having him here is a blessing.”

I giggled. “True, but we can’t finish without his contribution, so we’re stuck with him until we turn this stupid ass project in.”

“Yippie,” he said in a monotone voice. I rolled my eyes and went back to finishing up our presentation.

We worked for about ten more minutes until my eyes started to blur from staring at the screen. “Well, I guess this is a good stopping point for now. Until we get Brad’s part, this is as far as we can work,”

I stuffed my things in my backpack and slung it over my shoulder when Damien stopped me.

“Hey, you busy right now? Wanna go get a bite to eat?”

I cocked my head in confusion. Was he really asking me to hang out? I had offered to meet him for lunch or coffee outside of our study group several times, but he always had plans with Alana. “Uh…I guess. If that’s okay with you.”

“Obviously it is because I just asked you,” he smirked.

“Yeah, sure. You wanna go now?”

“Nah, I was thinking sometime next month. Of course, I want to go now. When else would we go?” His voice dripped with sarcasm.

I looked down at the yoga pants and hoodie I was wearing. “Well, I was hoping to shower and change before I go out in public.”

“You look fine. No one’s going to give a shit what you’re wearing. Besides, you’re technically already out in public, so it’s a little late for that,” he laughed.

I huffed. “Fine. Where are we going?” 

“There’s a little bistro off-campus that has really good burgers.” He slung an arm around my shoulder, pulling me to his body. The feeling of him pressed up against me sent chills down my spine. I shuddered as he grabbed my backpack and handed it to me, then led me out of the library.  

When we reached his car in the campus parking lot, he unlocked the doors and tossed his backpack in the back seat. I stopped in my tracks. He still had the same car from high school. All the memories of us riding around in this thing on Friday nights came flooding back. He moved to the driver’s side door, stopping to wait for me. “Are you going to get in the car, or are you just going to stand there all day staring into space?” He extended his arm and tapped his index finger to his wrist. “Time’s a-wastin', Park.”

Snap out of it, Kaia. It’s just Damien. But it wasn’t ‘just Damien.’ It was the boy I had been in love with for as long as I could remember. I moved slowly to the car and opened the passenger’s side door, sliding in. He smirked and started the ignition. We drove in silence, the only sounds coming from the radio. A song from our childhood started playing and we looked at each other with goofy grins on our faces.

“Remember the first time we heard this song? You wouldn’t stop singing it for weeks,” he said with a laugh.

“What? It’s a good song,” I replied, singing along and dancing in my seat.

I smiled at the memory that song brought back. It was the summer of 2009. Damien and I were in his backyard, hanging out in the treehouse he and his dad built a few summers before. Two of his younger sisters, Isabela and Carina, were having a sleepover, so he was hiding out. His sister Carina was my age and we were in a couple of classes together, so I was friendly with her, but I spent more time with Damien. The sun had finally set over the horizon so we decided to start up a fire in the fire pit and make S’mores. We climbed down the ladder and he pulled a lighter from his pocket.

“Why do you have that?” I gasped.

His eyes met mine and a smirk spread across his face. “I was smoking a J behind the school gym this morning, so I needed it.” He stared at me for a few seconds, watching my reaction, then burst out laughing. “I found it in the junk drawer in the kitchen, you dork. You know I don’t smoke.”

I leaned over and smacked his arm. “Not funny, Dames.”

“I disagree. I thought it was hilarious.”

“Whatever. Just light the stupid fire. I’ll run inside and grab the stuff to make S’mores.”

“Watch out for the slumber party,” he called back as I walked into the house. I made it to the kitchen and started rummaging through the cabinets, looking for the ingredients we needed. I found the graham crackers and chocolate bars but had no luck locating the marshmallows. I was about to go back outside and asked Damien when I turned and bumped into Isabela.

“Hey, Kaia. Whatcha doing?” she asked, holding several bags of chips in her arms.

“Dames and I are making S’mores. Where are your marshmallows?”

She set the bags of chips down and rummaged around the pantry before locating and tossing me the bag. “So, what’s going on with you and my brother?”

My cheeks instantly flushed. “Wh-what do you mean?”

She smirked. “You know what I mean. You two spend an awful lot of time together. Are you two a thing?”

“No. It’s not like that. We’re just friends,” I lied. Her cocked eyebrow said she didn’t buy my bullshit, but she nodded her head. I grabbed the bag of marshmallows from her hand and hightailed it back outside. "I Gotta Feeling" by Black Eyed Peas blasted through the portable speakers in the yard. I approached Damien sitting in front of the firepit, poking one of the logs with a stick. He was shirtless and the moonlight bounced off the muscles of his toned back. The sight made my mouth water. That was the first time I realized I was in love with him.

I was thrust back into the present by the sound of Damien killing the engine. I looked up and noticed we had arrived at the bistro. We exited the car and made our way inside, snagging a table toward the back of the restaurant. The waitress dropped off the menus and took our drink orders, before leaving us to decide what to eat. I pretended to peruse the menu, but my mind was on the guy sitting in the booth across from me.

“Order whatever you want. My treat,” he said.

“Huh?”

I looked up and he was watching me. He nodded toward the menu in my hand. “Don’t worry about paying. I’ve got it this time.”

“You don’t have to do that, you know.”

“I know,” he said softly, riling up the butterflies in my stomach. Our waitress returned a few minutes later and took our orders. Damien ordered the Maple Bacon Burger while I ordered the Mac ‘N Cheese Burger. The waitress left to put our orders in, leaving us alone again.

“So, now that we’re a month into the school year, how are your classes going?” he asked.

I shrugged, swirling my straw in my glass. “Classes are going well. I’m not ready to drop any of them, so that’s a plus. Dorm life is pretty fun, too. I got really lucky with my roomie. Her schedule is different from mine, so we don’t see much of each other, but one night a week, we hang out.” I tapped my finger against my chin. “It’s crazy to think that we’re already a quarter of the way through the semester, so that means I’m 1/32nd of the way through my college career.”

He laughed. “I guess that’s one way of looking at it. What else is going on? Any interesting guys catch your attention lately?”

My eyes shot up to meet his. Why was he asking me that? I went back to staring at my drink. “Uh...not really. There is this guy in my algebra class who asked me out, but I turned him down.” I peeked at him from under my lashes, unable to make out his expression.

***

Damien

I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. On one hand, I wanted her to find someone who would make her happy if I couldn’t. On the other hand, knowing that she wasn’t involved with anyone gave me a tiny sliver of hope. I know she wouldn’t wait for me forever, but I still liked that there wasn’t another guy capturing her attention. Jesus, I was such an asshole.

“So, what happened?” the words left my mouth before I could stop them.

She shrugged. “I don’t know. He’s super nice and really cute, but I just couldn’t bring myself to say yes. Which is weird, because there’s definitely an attraction between us. My whole goal for this semester was to step out of my comfort zone.”

She looked up at me, those big, beautiful brown eyes staring into my soul. No matter how hard I tried to fight it, everything about this girl did things to me. Her laugh was like the most beautiful music to my ears. Her sense of humor was aligned with mine. Even her looks were enough to make other girls jealous. When she complained earlier about how she was dressed, I internally rolled my eyes. Even when she didn’t try, she still looked mouth-watering. She was wearing a pair of black yoga pants and a light pink hooded sweatshirt with the words “Rosé and Shine” written in gold cursive letters across the chest. Yes, I looked at her chest. If she busted me, I would’ve just said I was trying to read her shirt.

I awkwardly cleared my throat. “You should give him a chance. Who knows? He might turn out to be a great guy. We all know those are in short supply lately.” Gods, what was I doing? I knew it was the right thing to do, but saying those words hurt.

She nodded. “Yeah, I guess. Maybe he is great and we’ll be really happy together. I just don’t know if I’m ready to start dating yet. I think… I just...I’m not over...” she trailed off.

“You’re not over what?”

“Nevermind,” she shook her head and took a long sip of her drink.

The wheels started turning. Was she talking about me? I know she dated in high school, but Nadia told me those relationships never lasted longer than a few months. She suspected I was the reason for that. Yeah, I know it sounded a tad creepy, but I was able to keep tabs on her, thanks to her cousin’s need to gossip.

One particular moment was that first Christmas after I left for college. I received a text from Nadia asking if I was coming home. She then asked that I keep my distance from Kaia. When I asked her “why,” she told me that she was still upset about what happened after graduation. 

But I didn’t care. I wanted to see my best friend. I dropped by her house to say hi to her parents. They always treated me like the son they never had. Her dad asked how college was going. I told them about my classes and the friends I had made so far. Her mom was filling me in about the neighborhood gossip when I caught a glimpse of Kaia hovering in the hallway. She looked like she wanted to talk to me, but I could tell she was embarrassed to see me.

We locked eyes briefly before she turned around and retreated to her bedroom. I waited a few moments then excused myself to use the bathroom. I stood outside her door, listening for any signs of movement, before lightly tapping on the door. I heard the springs of her mattress squeak under her weight, then the door swung open. She looked adorable in her red and white Reindeer pajama pants and white thermal top. My eyes briefly traveled down and I noticed she wasn’t wearing a bra.

“So, you weren’t even going to come to say hi to me?” I asked.

She shifted on her feet. “I don’t know. I figured you didn’t want to talk to me after what happened last time.” I watched as her eyes traveled up and down my body. It took everything in me to keep from pushing her into her room and kissing her. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t. Not only were her parents in the other room, I knew the whole age difference was frowned upon. And what if we did get together and it didn’t work out? I’d lose my best friend forever.

“You’re my best friend, Kaia. No matter what happened in the past, that will never change,” I replied.

“Even when I get drunk and act like a lovesick idiot?” She played with the drawstring of her pants, avoiding my eyes.

I gripped her chin with my thumb and forefinger, tilting her face up towards mine. “There’s nothing you could do that would ever make me want to stop being your best friend. And hey, I don’t hold what happened back then against you. Sometimes we do dumb things when we’re drunk.”

Her face dropped and it told me I had said the wrong thing. I brought my hand up and cupped her cheek and she leaned into my touch. The moment was interrupted when her mom called from the kitchen to ask me if I wanted some hot cocoa. I dropped my hand and gave her a weak smile, then backed away slowly as I made my way down the hall back to the living room. I looked over at my shoulder to see her still standing in her bedroom doorway, watching me go.

I was pulled back into the present when the waitress arrived at our table and delivered our food. The two of us ate in awkward silence, occasionally looking up at each other. After our plates were cleared, the waitress reappeared and I ordered a slice of cherry pie for us to share. When the pie arrived, we each took a fork and dug in.

“So, tell me more about this mystery guy?” I asked, trying to lighten the mood.

She chewed for a few moments, hesitant to talk about it, then finally spoke. “Well, his name is Hayden. He’s a freshman and a photography major. He’s from Upstate New York and has a Border Collie named Dipper. He also has a twin brother named Harley, but I guess they don’t get along. Nadia loves him and she’s been bugging me to go out with him for the last few days.”

I didn’t know this kid from Adam, but I instantly didn’t like him. Was it jealousy? Probably. Was I going to do anything about it? Nope. “It’s obvious that you like him, so why not go out with him. You’re overthinking this, Kaia.”

“Yeah, maybe,” she sighed and took another bite of pie. At that moment, Alana’s friends Rowan and Cecile walked by. They waved, then stopped short when they noticed it wasn’t my girlfriend sitting in the booth across from me. Cecile gave me a skeptical glance while Rowan looked on in shock. 

“Hey, Damien. What are you up to?” He asked, looking between Kaia and me. 

“Hey, guys! Just capping off a little study session. This is Kaia. She’s an old friend.”

He nodded. “Cool, cool. You guys going to Homecoming next week? Cecile is a candidate for court, so we were going to have a little get-together after the crowning ceremony. You and Alana should come. It’s gonna be fun.”

“Yeah, that sounds good, man. I’ll talk to her about it this weekend.”

Cecile cocked an eyebrow as if to call me out on my bullshit, but didn’t say anything. She narrowed her eyes at Kaia, then turned back to me. “Well, we gotta go. Tell your girlfriend, Alana, hi for us.” She grabbed Rowan’s hand and they walked out. I sighed. I was sure I was going to get a phone call about that by the end of the night.

“Well, that was weird,” she said. “Speaking of, what’s going on with you and Alana?”

Shit, where do I start? “It’s complicated right now. We’re taking a break.”

Her eyes widened. “You guys broke up?”

“Eh...Not exactly. We’ve been fighting a lot, so we’re taking a few days to calm down and re-evaluate the relationship. It’s not how I would have handled things, but she thinks it will give us time to,” I held up my index and middle fingers, making air quotes, “figure things out. She thinks I’ve been neglecting her, which I kind of have been. But she also thinks I’m cheating on her.”

“Wow...I genuinely don’t know how to respond to that,” she replied.

“Yeah, me neither.”

Kaia nodded silently, setting her fork down on the plate. She rested her elbows on the table and folded her hands in front of her face. “Can I be honest with you? This whole relationship seems really unhealthy. There’s a huge lack of trust on both sides. That’s something a break isn’t going to fix. If she doesn’t trust you to be faithful, your relationship is doomed to fail. So, it’s up to you to figure out how you want to proceed. If you think the relationship is worth saving, you need to prove that you’re a reliable partner, and she needs to work through her insecurities. If not, you’re better off ending it now. Especially before you two decide to get engaged or something.”

“I kind of already proposed to her though,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck.

“Oh,” she replied. “Well, you should think about doing some sort of premarital counseling before you get married.”

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s going to happen anytime soon.”

“And why’s that?”

“Because she said no,” I deadpanned.

Kaia went quiet. I waited for her to say something else, but before she could speak, the waitress reappeared to drop our check off and ask if we needed anything else. Neither of us spoke as I paid the bill and we made our way out to the car. I debated asking her what she was thinking but decided against it. We rode in silence back to the dorms. When I pulled up in the parking lot, she grabbed the handle to exit the car, then stopped.

“For what it’s worth, Dames, I am sorry about you and Alana. I might not like her, but you’re my best friend. And if she makes you happy, then I’m happy for you. If you ever want to talk about it, you know where to find me. I’ve been told I’m a good listener.”

I nodded. “Thanks. I appreciate that. And hey, let me know how things go with Hayden.”

She frowned slightly, then quickly covered it up with a smile. “Will do. I’ll see you in class on Monday. Have a good weekend.” She got out of the car and took off running towards her dorm.

I dragged my hand down my face. Get it together, Dames. She was my best friend. And I had a girlfriend. I got out of the car and headed toward my dorm. When I reached my floor, I swung open the door to my room and was met by the cold stare of my girlfriend, sitting on my bed, her hands folded in her lap.

“Alana? What are you doing here?” I asked as I moved into the room. She rose from the bed and made her way towards me.

“Cecile texted me.”

Shit. I knew this was coming. “Babe, it’s not what you think.”

Her eyes gave away nothing as she took a deep breath. “It’s not important. What matters is you and me.”

Confused, I grabbed her hand and sat down on the bed. “You know I love you, babe. And I know I’ve been a shitty boyfriend these last few weeks, but I want to make this work and I’m willing to do whatever it takes.”

She nodded, but her face told me she didn’t believe me. I sighed and pressed a kiss to her temple. It was going to be a long night.

#best beloved #pm au #college au #friends to lovers #perfect match #choices fanfic #damien nazario #kaia park #damien x mc #nazariolahela fanfic

[angstymarshmallow]

A Peek Into the Future (Drake x MC)

[A little note: I’m working on checking off a lot of my requests - so here’s another drake and mc fic with the prompt 48 “why are you crying” . Thank you for the request anon!  It’s very light and also contains spoilers from The Notebook. So if you haven’t seen that, you’ve been warned.]

[Summary: A movie night turns into Robyn (MC), wondering about her future with Drake].

[Word Count: 1455]

The popcorn rests between them as Drake settles further into the couch. His legs are propped ontop of their glass coffee table, despite the countless times his wife has told him not to. His brow creases as he watches the screen; the final act of The Notebook isn’t as bittersweet as Robyn has often told him it would be as he skirts his gaze from her then back to the screen.

Instead of feeling immeasurable amounts of sadness, he feels annoyed; longing for the rest of it to be over after and done with, after finally reaching the last act of the movie. He finds it unsatisfying after all Allie and Noah have been through.

He runs his free hand through his hair and tries not to sigh in annoyance at the sight of Duke explaining to Allie that he’s actually Noah – the man that’s been in love with her since they were young.

He can’t help but roll his eyes and watches her predictable reaction – yelling him to leave her room after she has forgotten again who he was.

Inwardly, Drake wonders why anyone would ever put themselves through something so uncessarily pointless…and sad.

From beside him, Robyn rests her head on his hard shoulder. With one hand in her lap and the other grabbing popcorn, she feels the corner of her eyes moisten. She blinks hastily, trying to force the tears she feels from getting to her whenever she reaches this part of the movie. The part that has always driven the pain home – losing someone over and over again; this has always been the most difficult for her to watch.

She avoids Drake’s stare, although even from here she can sense his growing disposition against the tantrum that Allie gives. She feels a slight pang of disappointment at his lack of empathy, while dabbing the corner of her eyes with a kleenex.  

She can’t help it – this movie gets her every time. Over the dozens of times she’s watched it, it’s the first time she’s shared it with him. And as her eyes weigh her husband’s reaction, she can’t help but compare their own lives with the people on screen.

It makes her think about the future – spanning into decades of what it would be like, being married to Drake. She daydreams about a bunch of little Walkers trailing behind them; fishing trips on Drake’s favourite boats and all the things they’ll challenger their children to try before high school. She wonders when they’ve all left their Applewood manor, years later they’ll be curled up together like they are now – watching movies together, growing old together.

The thought makes her misty-eyed again. And she wants to believe, staring at the screen and watching the ultimate demise of  Noah and Allie, that the same won’t happen to them. That she’d never forget the love of her life and he would never forget her.

She can’t imagine losing Drake to something as fickle as her own memories.

“Robyn?” Drake nudges her. “Are you – wait a minute,” he twists enough to tuck his fingers under her chin, despite her effort in trying to pull away. “Why are you crying?” He asks incredulously.

“I’m not!” She objects indigantly, batting away his hand before letting out a disgruntled sigh. “Its just looking at them I wonder what’ll happen to us.”

“To us?” He repeats, raising an eyebrow at her. “Well hopefully nothing like that, not if I have any say about it anyway.”

She’s sure his words are meant to reassure her, but she shakes her head. “I mean look at them – ” She points at the screen, “– they love each other so much, and yet it doesn’t matter.” Her breath hitches. “It’s just not fair!” She wails, burying her face into his chest.

He waits until she peeks up at him to speak. “I think you’re kinda forgetting that life doesn’t have to be fair Tinsley. Sometimes it just sucks, just because it well – sucks.”

“I know that.” She huffs, “no need to be so cynical about it.”

“Sorry,” he smiles a little, looking not even a little apologetic. “I was trying to get rid of your tears, and now that you’re scowling at me,” he traces his finger over her lips until she smiles.  “– I think I’m doing a pretty damn good job.”

She laughs, eyes sparkling as she shakes her head.

His eyes soften, but she knows better than to think he sympathizes with her. “And you’re forgetting – they arne’t real people,” He states a-matter-of-factly, “they’re just acting out a cliché narrative.”

“Having dementia is a cliché narrative?” She frowns, “I wouldn’t say it is – especially for its time. It’s a classic 20th century romcom.”

“You can argue that for it’s time it is,” He shrugs, “but that doesn’t mean it’s not cliché now. Plus it’s the subtext that makes it nauseatingly romantic.”

She flicks a piece of popcorn at him. “Says you.” She retorts.

“Wait I’m not done yet,” laughing as she flicks another piece of popcorn at him, he grabs her wrist and gently brings it to his lips. “It’s cliché – but it tells a…good story.” His eyes are suddenly serious, “it’s tough for him to accept that she doesn’t recognize him anymore when they’ve had a lifetime together.” He says softly, “a lifetime of laughter, of love only to have this heartbreak and pain – ”

“So you are watching the movie.”

“Ha.” He smirks at her, “yeah but I guess all I’m saying is they got more than just a few memories together. They had a lifetime.” He finishes off weakly, scratching the back of his head. He wasn’t comfortable with listening to his more sensitive side, and was surprised that it was this easy to talk about with her.

“But you’re saying a lifetime together like that’s ever going to be enough.” Robyn whispers. “That will never be enough Drake.”

Her voice has gone all soft suddenly that it makes Drake wonder if they’re still talking about the movie.

“And hell, you’ve seen how hard it was for them for awhile,” Robyn continues, gripping the folds of his shirt. “How hard they struggled to find each other again, after Noah went out to war. He wrote her letters Drake, letters. Letters she never got.” Robyn straightens, shifting her fingers to grasp his shoulders with such intensity that Drake is a little afraid he overstepped some sort of unknown boundary by coitizing the movie.

“That fight – fighting to find each other again, knowing that all they ever wanted was each other.” The tears were flowing now, freely as Robyn rubs her eyes. “That makes it all the more special – and” she stops short, noticing the flicker of surprise in Drake’s eyes.  

Dropping her hands back inside her lap, she leans back inside the couch. She waits until she’s certain her pulse has gone back to normal before swinging her gaze back to his impentreable dark eyes.

“And I don’t know why I’m bothering to explain.” She sighs dejectedly, “because if you don’t get it – well you won’t ever get it.”

“Hey!” He interrupts. “Don’t make me sound like the bad guy, here.” He protests.

“Well, you’re the one that keeps saying how ridiculous this all is. Like you were being raise as a kid goin off to support the war. Unrealistic right?”

“I didn’t say anything like that.” He replies stiffening.

“But you were thinking it,” when he didn’t respond, she mutters stubbornly.

“Okay, I’ll give that.” He admits.

“And you’re forgetting how painful dementia is for everyone involved,” she looks away, thinking of something her past – before quickly shoving it down again. “Having that chain over, waking up and not knowing the love of your life is right in front of you…” Her gut twists at the thought. “Having to live someone with that reality? I mean he has to read her her own juournal to make her believe he’s real. And look –” She gestures at the screen frantically at the two elderly people, entwined together after passing peacefully inside their sleep.

“You can’t tell me you aren’t even a little bit sad after that.” She dabs the corner of her eyes as they blur and barely stifles a sniffle. “God, have you ever seen something so beautiful?”

Drake looks at Robyn; from the slight redness in her cheeks, to her glossy eyes still recovering from unshed tears – the messy curls bobbing as she turns and gestures back to the screen and then at him. He smiles and thinks to himself; he’s found the most beautiful thing in the world. 

And she’s sitting right beside him.

Without missing a beat, he brings his free arm around her and places a kiss by her forehead, echoing the words he thought of moments ago. “Yeah, and she’s happening to be sitting right next to me.”

-

#drake x mc #drake x robyn #drake walker x robyn tinsley #the royal romance #fic request #fluff #playchoices #choices stories you play #drake x mc fanfic #drake walker #trr #trr: drake walker #drake x mc fanfiction #playchoices fanfiction #an angstymarshmallow writes #A Peek Into the Future #don't mind me just trying to finish all these requests #that's been here for 10000 years

[thebandcampdiaries]

Lucid Prime introducing a brand new studio album: Pull Me In.

May 2021 - Lucid Prime is a duo with a focus on creating music that blurs the lines between a wide range of styles and genre definitions.  This project is actually a father-son collaboration featuring Brother Noyze The Mad Musician, as well as A-Grace. Besides their family bond, what makes these talented artists special in this duo is the fact that both of them are multi-media artists, and are able to provide amazing visual works in addition to great music. In this project, one of them focuses mostly on singing, while the other is mostly an MC / Producer. They approach music in a very special way, never playing it safe with their creativity. Most singers and artists simply write songs and sing them. On the other hand, Lucid Prime is all about creating unique narrative ideas for their music to unfold, giving their audience a more immersive experience. It’s almost as if they set out to bring stories and characters to life, allowing each song to stand out and gain truly unique personality, that’s distinctive from anything else out there. Their most recent studio album, “Pull Me In,” is really a good example of what they are capable off. Let me tell you, this record is really going to pull you in! As I’ve mentioned earlier, each song has a unique narrative style, and there is so much depth bringing each track to the next level. This New Jersey duo knows a thing or two about creating great artwork, and this album release stands out as a strong testament of their creative vision.

This project is highly recommended to fans of artists like Massive Attack, Gorillaz, David Bowie, Roots Manuva And De La Soul, only to mention a few.

Find out more about Lucid Prime, and do not miss out on Pull Me In, which is now available on ReverbNation, as well as many other digital streaming platforms.

https://www.reverbnation.com/lucidprime

https://youtu.be/h5uF4fE1m3A

www.facebook.com/lucidprimemusic

We also had the chance to catch up with the pair and ask them a few questions. Keep reading for more!

Brother Noyze answers:

Producing music that will have vocals from someone you know very well (i.e. your son) sounds like an amazing feeling. Do you always have his voice in mind when producing?

I work with various singers on various projects but in the past year and since we started Lucid Prime a lot of what I write I have my son’s voice in mind.

How much production input do you get from A-Grace?

He has always been instrumental in my music (at least since age 7). Now that we have a group together I get a lot of feedback and input from him on song selection, production ideas, lyrics and even my growth as a producer/musician.

Besides playing music together, is there any hobby or activity you and your son share?

We both enjoy comic books, video games (RPGs, fighting games and retro gaming especially), anime, movies in general, creating artwork (drawing, painting, etc) as well as collectibles… (oh how can I forget Japanese culture in general)

How did the idea of starting a duo with your son come about?

My son sang lead vocals for some songs for my other side project “Mk836” and It just happened naturally. I wrote some tunes that were more guitar oriented in the way electronic musicians use guitars (i.e. trip-hop) and I knew his voice would fit perfectly. We did “Pull me in” and “Lucid” and the group was born…

A-Grace answers:

Not many people have the opportunity to share a passion for music with a family member. How does it feel to sing on songs produced with your dad?

If anything it actually feels more normal to sing on songs produced by him. After all, my father is a large part of the reason why I love music so much.

Do you ever get into discussions about creating a song or artistic direction, or do you always see eye to eye when creating music?

I tend to ask him a lot of questions about what direction he wants the song taken in, but I get a lot of freedom in the booth. We both have a mutual respect for each other when creating music and we do tend to see eye to eye.

If you had to pick one song from the album as a way to introduce your music to new listeners, which one would it be and why?

The one song that I’d choose would be “Lucid.” I feel that it's the song that captures the album the best and so I really think that if someone likes that one they’ll probably enjoy the rest of the album.

Does your dad record your vocal performances too, or do you prefer to record on your own? Some singers really struggle to sing with others in the room, how do you feel about it?

My Dad records all my vocal performances. I’m not really the shyest person. I don’t mind singing with others in the room. I actually think it makes it more fun for me. That’s not to say that I don’t get nervous while singing in front of others, but for me that just helps me focus more.

[dcbbw]

Queen (to-be) of Diamonds

This is my very first fanfic (please be gentle with me!) which takes place during the Coronation Ball (when the pictures of MC and Tariq are released). It is a one-off AU, based off an idea I had after playing TRR multiple times, reading other fanfic, and the family pairings in the TRR Epilogue chapter. I chose the title because of the meaning behind the Queen of Diamonds playing card: quick enrichment due to controversial means. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please excuse any typos and/or grammatical errors.

All characters belong to Pixelberry.

Word Count: 2,584

Song Inspirations:

MC: Cold, Annie Lennox

Come to me, run to me, do and be done with me, cold...cold…cold

Don’t I exist for you, don’t I still live for you, cold…cold…cold

Liam: Things We Saw, Cary Brothers

Heart and mind just let go, wasting time talking with ghosts

Please don’t you forget those things we saw

Please don’t you forget those things we saw

Madeleine: Lone Wolf, Georgi Kay

It’s like no matter how many good people in my life, I feel lonely, always feel lonely

It's just a moment, I can still everytime

It's taking over

Maybe it's your love that I need

How can I let you in if I'm putting up a wall everytime?

You gotta break it down if you wanna come across that line

How can you breathe me in if you’re never gonna get no air?

Liam x Riley Liam X Madeleine #TRR #Choices #The Royal Romance

 Madeleine stood in the sumptuous ballroom, ready for the coronation to be over. She stood there, flawless: every hair in place, makeup perfectly applied, her gown perfectly accentuating her lithe body. She knew, they all knew, who would be picked Queen. Lady Riley. Even though Madeleine was the obvious choice, even though she had gone to Liam the night before (albeit under pressure from Godfrey, Adelaide, and Regina) with the perfect proposal.

Make me Queen, she said. Make me Queen for the good of Cordonia. Neither of us love each other….hell, do we even like each other? But, make me Queen and your evenings, nights, any spare moment….you can be with Lady Riley. You all can have all the love, sex, and togetherness you want….we need only make public appearances while I help you rule Cordonia. Just consider it.

Liam told her flatly that he would not. He wanted a complete marriage, not a partnership. It would do none of them, Madeleine included, any favors to participate in a farce. He would not disrespect his true love and treat her like the other woman, when she was the only woman for him. And he most certainly was not interested in marrying the woman his brother had chosen and had sex with during his social season. Madeleine said nothing, and inwardly breathed a sigh of relief.  She knew what he was speaking of, and agreed with him. She had no interest in Liam, and even the promise of being Queen had he agreed held no appeal any longer. That dream died with Leo’s abdication.

Even now, at the ball, she was not seeking out Liam, although she had seen him sneak in with Lady Riley. The two of them holding hands, eyes sparkling, grinning like fools. What was it with those Rhys Brothers and American commoners? No, she was focused on another…..their hair, their smile, the various facial expressions as they held an animated conversation with someone. The way they held their flute of champagne….perfection.

The butterflies in Madeleine’s stomach went into overdrive. She could spend her entire life drinking in their face, and she would never get enough. Perhaps with them, she could stop drowning her sorrows in alcoholic drinks and stop seeking solace in the arms of random men who left her feeling dirty and ashamed. Madeleine knew she had walls and issues and not the best personality, but her fervent hope was that the object of her affections would see past that and help her become a better person. For them, she wanted to try and that was a step in the right direction.

And that is when her night went to hell.

She saw the Royal Advisor approach Constantine and Regina, then the King calling Liam over…and then the phones started buzzing…..the reactions, the whisperings….it all happened so quickly. She saw the blur of guards from the corner of her eye as she read the article and saw the pictures in shock and disbelief. What is this? When did this happen? The oh no slipped out without her knowing.

Regina was summoning Madeleine to the dais as she declared that Lady Riley would be withdrawing from consideration in light of the circumstances. Constantine then saying that Liam must make a choice….now. Liam, his face dark with anger and lips tightly compressed declaring that he was choosing Lady Madeleine. Madeleine was caught unawares for 2 seconds before plastering a smile on her face, expressing her honor and appreciation at being selected, and placing a chaste kiss on Liam’s cheek. This is not supposed to be happening she thought.

All while this was happening, the guards came, one holding onto either of Lady Riley’s arms, forcing her out from the ballroom. Lady Riley was screaming for Liam to help her, but he stood there, angrily clenching his fists. That is when Riley elbowed one guard and stomped her foot into the other’s instep, causing both to release their grip on her. Riley quickly strode to the dais, and somewhere along the way, Bertrand and Maxwell joined her. Bertrand’s face was livid, while Maxwell looked confused and fearful. A scan of the crowd revealed Drake Walker, and if possible, his face was even more enraged than Bertrand’s.

Liam stared at Lady Riley as she made her way to the dais….even with tears pouring from her eyes, and streaked makeup, Riley was still the most beautiful woman in the room. This was not how it was supposed to happen, but he had to keep her safe. He could not have what happened to his mother happen to her. The pictures enraged him, that someone would put Riley in danger, then twist the narrative with the press to slander her name….that person was well connected, with means, resources, and access to the very upper echelons of the court. And they did not want Riley to be Queen. Who knew what they would do if he ignored this warning shot.

But Riley knew none of that, and the anger and hurt in her voice and on her face revealed that. Looking directly at Liam, she spoke. “I am in love with you. 30 minutes ago, you were my every wish and dream come true. I fought to secure a place in your heart, and your life. You were my home, Liam! 30 minutes ago, you made incredible love to me and proposed to me privately. You said to keep the court away from it. I see now it was private because you already knew who you wanted, and it wasn’t me…..just my body. Then slanderous pictures are splashed across the press that are designed to make me an adulteress whore, yet all they do is make me the Cordonian Poster Girl for the #metoo movement. And after all that….you toss me out of court like”…her voice broke as fresh tears fell…”like garbage! Hear me well, Your Majesty “she sneered, “you are not the man you led me to believe you were. You are not a man at all, just a sniveling lying coward and I can never trust another word that falls from your mouth. I will neither forgive nor forget this night and what you have done, and if I never see you again in life, it will be too soon.” Riley and Liam locked eyes the entire time…..her eyes growing more resolved and steely as she spoke her piece.

Madeleine watched Riley delivering her monologue carefully. Hmmmm….she is a fighter, and unafraid to call the court on their shit. Madeleine could appreciate that, not that she would ever admit it. Decorum and discretion above all. She is articulate under duress. Another admirable quality. However, Madeleine could see the depths of Lady Riley’s shock, hurt and confusion…..she expected Liam the Man to rescue and protect her, but she was facing Liam the King. Obviously all of her courtly training did not include how to handle this. And for all of Liam’s lifetime of training, his royal resolve was breaking.

Liam’s face was rapidly losing its color and stoicism with each word Lady Riley hurled, and every tear that fell from her eyes. Liam’s now pale face was a contorted painting of love, hurt, and regret. Tears welled in his eyes, his chin shook, and Madeleine was certain his mouth was filled with blood from biting his tongue for so long.

The guards were approaching Lady Riley again, although far more carefully this time. Liam held up his hand to halt them. Riley saw them from her peripheral, and straightened herself as she wiped tears from her face. “No need to have me escorted out, Your Majesty….I am leaving now. Congratulations to you and Lady Madeleine on your betrothal.” Bertrand spoke up. “The way this court has treated these obviously false allegations is a travesty. I expected better from the Crown.” Although barely detectable, Liam winced at his words.

And with that, Riley swept out of the ballroom with the guards behind her, and Bertrand and Maxwell behind them. As they walked down the aisle, Drake and Lady Hana fell into step behind the Beaumont Brothers, and the quiet click of the door shutting behind them was somehow louder than if the door had been slammed.

Liam turned to Madeleine, his eyes broken and his mouth forming words that never fell. He finally uttered in a broken, hushed voice: “I love her Maddy. I love her. I love her. This hurts so badly. What have I done?”  In a rare show of commiseration, empathy, and perhaps friendship, Madeleine squeezed his hand in comfort. “Get it together, Your Majesty….we still have a ball to get through.”

As the Ball continued, Madeleine and Liam circulated amongst the nobles, accepting congratulations with smiles and nods. Folks hushed their whisperings upon their approach, stopping to admire her engagement ring (Regina’s engagement ring as Liam did not want to give Madeleine the ring intended for Lady Riley), and Madeleine kept a thin smile on her face. I don’t want this. He does not want this. Why are we even doing this? Oh yeah….Cordonia must appear stable and strong. Always for Cordonia.

Liam suggested they take a break and adjourn to the library to talk. Madeleine was in quick agreement; she needed to breathe, to think, to be able to verbalize a plan. Once the library doors had closed behind them, she turned to Liam and spoke. “You need to know I do not want this betrothal any more than you do, and I do not plan to go through with it.  We have until the end of the engagement tour to find out what is behind the release of those photos. We have no love for each other…hell, we do not even like each other, and I will not carry this farce over into a sham marriage.  Trust me, my King, there is a reason I declined to participate in your social season, and only entered mid-way under pressure from the Queen Mother.”

Liam had a look of both relief and puzzlement on his face. “But last night, you came to me with an arrangement.”

“I was there under duress from the Queen Mother and my parents. I never wanted you, and no longer want to be Queen. Out there tonight was a lifetime of training and Cordonian patriotism kicking in. And now, it appears I must go through with this farce until Lady Riley’s name is cleared of this scandal. Unfortunately, the membership of the Madeleine for Queen fan club seem to have forgotten how my only two competitors being eliminated under duress the night of the Coronation would make me look. I am Suspect #1. So it is a matter of clearing two names at this point.”

Liam nodded, acknowledging the logic of Madeleine’s reasoning.

Madeleine continued, “We will need to keep her under the protection of the court. She may not be in danger now as I have won your hand, but whoever is behind this has put a target on her back, as well as mine and Lady Olivia’s. For all of us, we need to root out the perpetrator. Anyone who actually looks at the pictures can see that this is not a love affair; the poor child looks confused and slightly fearful. Besides, we both know that at best, Tariq is bi-sexual, and not the type to approach a woman, any woman first. But we all know the public follows the press. And the press believes in catchy headlines and sensationalism.”

“I need to go to Lady Riley”, Liam said. “She needs to know.” Madeleine put her hand on his arm to stop him, her eyes a mixture of frustration and pity.

“You poor, poor lovesick man……You cannot go to her now. First, she is extremely hurt, and your words will mean absolutely nothing after tonight’s actions. You wounded her, embarrassed her, and lied to her…in front of the entire court! I grant you, it was quick thinking and long term, the right thing to do. No matter your reasoning, and I do agree, you may have saved both of your lives tonight…..she does not know that.”

Liam’s voice broke as he spoke, “She will return to America. She will leave and never know….” Liam began sobbing at the thought.

Madeleine interrupted him.

“She will not return to America…she won’t even leave Cordonia. Bastien had all of the Beaumonts returned to their residence. You know as well as I do Bertrand and Maxwell will not allow her to leave until her, and by extension, their name is cleared. And it will be best that she does not know until we have a plan formulated. The angrier she is at you right now, the better it will be to keep up the ruse you have severed ties with her.

You will need talk with your friends tonight, after the ball. We will reach out the Beaumonts in a few days. And now, my King, one of us needs to return to the Ball, lest tongues start wagging even further.”

As she made her way to the doors to make her way back to the Coronation Ball, Liam looked at Madeleine curiously. “Maddy, while I am glad we are on the same page about our betrothal and keeping Lady Riley safe, who has your heart so deeply that you are willing to give up your parents’ dreams and pursue your own? I do not mean to pry, but like me, you were born and bred to eventually rule over Cordonia. “

Madeleine looked back at Liam with the biggest smile on her face. A genuinely happy smile that no one had ever seen before now. “ I have love for another, and I too want a true marriage. No one knows, not even them. I was going to approach them during the ball to tell them, but I somehow became Queen- to- Be.” She smiled wryly. “Your discretion is greatly appreciated, Liam. Promise me!” Liam looked at her, his curiosity even more evident as he told her she had his word.

Her green eyes were alight with love as she answered, “Lady Hana Lee.” And then she shut the door.

#liam x riley #liam x madeleine #trr #trr madeleine #choices the royal romance #king liam